CWCki - User contributions [en]

May 2010

2026-05-16T00:38:05Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:ConspiracyChris.jpg|thumb| On '''8 May 2010''', Chris embraces a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theory]].]]
[[File:AAmonthChris.jpg|thumb| On '''16 May 2010''', the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]] are leaked.]]
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|On '''May 26 2010''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]
[[File:Copy.png|thumb|350px|On '''31 May 2010''', Chris defends his [[copyright]].]]

'''May''' was the fifth month of '''[[2010]]'''. It seemed to start off with a whimper, as [[Chris]]'s radio silence apparently continued even after the uploading of the FALSE and DISHONEST versions of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]. However, many were proven wrong when Chris finally reappeared, [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|boasting proudly]] that he had been able to disconnect the Wi-Fi antenna from his [[PS3]], under the belief it was a [[PS3/How_the_PS3_is_Hacked|bugging device]] and not realizing the damage he had done.

On the 8th, Chris won four tickets to an extreme sports rally and called up [[Rocky]] to see if anyone in his church's young adult social group would want to go with him, but no one ever called back. Seeing as no one was going to go with him, Chris scalped three of the tickets and sat alone in the stadium next to a "lovey-dovey" couple while watching people with a far greater amount of success than him perform feats of acrobatics on motorcycles. After watching the events, Chris returned home lonely and upset, and made a video, wherein he is closer than ever to realizing how big of a fuck-up he really is, but, unsurprisingly enough, he blamed all of his current troubles on a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] he believes the [[Greene County]] School Board have staged against him. A week later, he put up [[05142010|another video]] where he used another tragedy to garner sympathy.

On May 13, DariaCamacho, a "fan-manager" for Chris, was given access to the [[CWCipedia]] and began making massive and seriously needed updates to the website. Chris reverted them and when Daria questioned why he did so, he once again blamed his autism, and went back to completely ignore the CWCipedia despite DariaCamacho's continued editing. On May 26, DariaCamacho was revealed to be [[Mao]] 'Bamboo' Ling, who, in a repeat of the event in March, reopened the CWCipedia for the public, causing a second wave of massive vandalism. Chris attempted to revert the mass vandalism before flat out giving up due to the stress of it all, and announced that he would abandon the CWCipedia. The website was promptly given by Mao to the [[gal pal]] [[Vivian Gee]], who now shares copyrights to the entire ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' franchise with [[Alec]]. On May 30, Vivian's ''Sonichu Season 2'' began. At the end of the month, Chris uploaded a video in which he stated that he was leaving the internet. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]].

==Events of May 2010==
* '''1 May'''
** The Sysop finally removes the [[Twitter]] feed from the CWCipedia page.
** A brief phone call between Chris and [[Sydney Kirsch]], who attempted to troll Chris during the [[Jackie]] [[saga]], occurs. Chris, in a rare moment of awareness, outed her as a troll and quickly shut her down; his heart level remained intact, and the unsuccessful woman was most likely executed by Clyde.
* '''3 May''' - Chris receives [[Clyde E-mails#Panda — May 3, 2010|an email]] from [[PandaHalo]] with information on how he can prevent the trolls from [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|hacking into his PS3]].
* '''5 May'''
** Upon realizing he was duped, Chris [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|edits]] the [[CWCki]] under a pseudonym to say that the "bug" on his [[PS3]] was just a Wi-Fi antenna, thus marking the debut of [[JenkinsJinkies]].
** Chris [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|uploads a new video]], in which he reveals he removed the Wi-Fi antenna from his PS3, then shows off his "pimped out" PS3 Keyboard.
* '''8 May'''
** Chris makes minor [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|edits]] on the [[CWCki]] regarding his [[video games]] and his [[duck]].
** Chris attends an extreme action sports show at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville with one of four tickets he won on the radio. Unfortunately for him, he was unable to find other people to come along with him, so he goes alone. He gets very depressed, not helped by the affectionate couple he was sitting near.
** In utter misery, Chris [[Greene County Conspiracy|uploads a new video]] in which he discusses how the [[Greene County]] School Board has ruined his life.
* '''9 May''' - [[Clyde Cash]] leaks a zip file of revisions to Chris's current [[OkCupid]] profile directly to the [[CWCki]].
* '''13 May''' - A mysterious individual going by the name DariaCamacho is given sysop power on the CWCipedia. Declaring herself a "Fan-Manager", she writes short articles for some of Sonichu's Minor Characters, and updates the main page. None of these changes are especially insulting or threatening.
* '''14 May'''
** Chris reverts DariaCamacho's changes without comment.
** "DariaCamacho" makes several changes to the front page of the CWCipedia, moving templates and adding a new greeting to Sonichu fans from herself. Again, none of these changes are threatening.
** Chris reverts DariaCamacho's changes to the front page, again without comment. DariaCamacho sends Chris a discussion message, politely asking why he undid her edits and stating she only wanted to make the front page more presentable, while making it easier to find the most up to date information on Chris and the Sonichu Universe. She also states the massive cwciwiki logo is far too big, and makes some cosmetic changes to character bios page.
* '''15 May'''
** Chris posts [[05142010|a new video]] where he uses the death of a [[University of Virginia|UVA]] student in an attempt to garner pity. He also states he's now paranoid of girls.
** DariaCamacho attempts to make changes to the CWCipedia Main Page, which Chris later reverts. Meanwhile, the garish site background returns.
* '''16 May'''
** A [[Autism Awareness E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]] from an alleged [[autism]] awareness volunteer chronicles her doomed attempts to talk some sense into Chris.
** Another [[Regina e-mails|series of e-mails]] is leaked, in which Chris hits on an innocent woman just trying to buy his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitars off [[eBay]].
** Chris reverts Dariacamacho's changes again to the CWCipedia, and responds angrily to her question on her discussion page, and as always blaming his [[autism]] for [[My Little Pony|acting]] [[Chris Loses It|like]] [[CWCFlyingElephants|a]] [[Ivy|manchild]].
* '''17 May''' - DariaCamacho makes more changes to the CWCipedia, this time adding one line of text to blank pages for some of Chris's high school crushes.
* '''18 May''' - DariaCamacho adds in more to [[Sarah Hammer]]'s entry, then starts entries to the PS3, [[Metal Sonichu]] and [[Bionic]].
* '''20 May'''
** Chris talks about his [[Some Favored Comedians|favorite comedians]] for an excruciating ten minutes, but mentions that [[Bob]] is still alive.
** DariaCamacho adds a bio page for [[Clawdorf]].
* '''21 May''' - DariaCamacho proposes that Chris explain his regular daily schedule for his fans, breaking down how much time he spends sleeping and playing PS3.
* '''26 May'''
** Chris [[CWC Blog#26 May 2010|begs for ''ModNation Racers'' mods]].
** The [[CWCipedia]] gets hacked and vandalized once again.
* '''27 May''' - Chris uploads a [[100_2188|new video]] and announces he's abandoning the [[CWCipedia]].
* '''29 May''' - The vandalism comes to a halt as parodic commentary is added to the Sonichu comics.
* '''30 May''' - [[Hamsty the Hamster]] takes over CWCipedia from Mao; ''Sonichu Season 2'' begins.
* '''31 May''' - Chris uploads another [[100 2189|new video]], four days after claiming he was leaving the internet for the third time.

==Activity==
===Audio===
* [[Sydney Kirsch#OH SHI-|Final Sydney call]]

===Chats===
* [[Clyde E-mails#Panda — May 3, 2010|Clyde E-mails]]

===Posts===
* [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies wiki edits]]
* [[OkCupid#Second version|OkCupid profile]]
* [[CWC_Blog#26 May 2010|Mystery Mods blog]]

===Videos===
* [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
* [[Greene County Conspiracy]]
* [[05142010]]
* [[Some Favored Comedians]]
* [[100 2188]]
* [[100 2189]]

{{Timeline}}

October 2015

2026-05-16T00:36:09Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Cwcoct15.png|thumb|Chris in October 2015]]
'''October''' was the 10th month of '''[[2015]]'''. It marked the first court date for the [[26 December 2014]] incident since [[July 2015]]. Those who expected another continuance were left surprised when this turned out to be the real deal; Chris was found guilty, and was let off with a fine of $541 and a suspended sentence of 180 days. Local [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi Farmers]] also reported that Chris's ban from the [[Fashion Square Mall]] was lifted (except for the bans put into effect by individual businesses at the mall, so Chris was still banned from the local [[GameStop]]). Aside from all of that, Chris also made several Facebook posts about his custom-made [[Amiibo]], uploaded several [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|videos about Super Smash Bros.]], uploaded [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|a video]] apologizing for his past [[Homos|homophobia]], and ended his [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arm protests]] this month.

==Events==
* '''1 October''' - [[Barb]] celebrates her 74th birthday.
* '''2 October'''
** Chris claims victory in the [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|blue arms]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|debacle]], due to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] being his non-blue-armed form in ''[[Nintendo|Mario]] & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. He says this is the final update for the group.
** Chris makes [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Amiibo For Sale|a Facebook post]] on an [[Amiibo]] trading & collecting page.
* '''3 October''' - Chris announces that he plans on selling [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] based on his personification of [[autism]].
* '''4 October'''
** [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Bann Has Happened|Due to making hostile comments]], Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|gets banned]] from the Amiibo trading Facebook page.
** Chris comments on a new photo posted by his friend [[William Elliott Waterman]].
* '''6 October'''
** Chris completes a [[Commissions|commission]] of vocaloid [[Wikipedia:Kagamine Rin/Len|Len Kagamine]].
** ''[[Rock Band]] 4'' is released.
* '''8 October''' - A full list of Sonichu Amiibo is published on Facebook, as well a statement claiming that these may be the last ever produced.
* '''9 October'''
** [[Slaweel Ryam]], [[Count Graduon]], and [[Jerkop]] grunts are confirmed to be immortalized in Amiibo form.
** Chris [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Chris Gets Spooked|explains on Facebook]] that a [[fan]] had shouted at him from a passing car, forcing him to give him the flippy finger and gain mental [[stress]].
* '''13 October''' - Chris uploads [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|five videos]] of himself playing ''[[Nintendo|Super Smash Bros.]]'' for [[Wii]] U, showcasing his custom Miis.
* '''15 October'''
** Chris's sixth court date. He winds up guilty for the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]], is fined $541, and gets a 180-day probation.
** Chris references his new Super Smash Bros. videos on Facebook.
* '''16 October'''
** Chris reveals his prototype [[autism]] Amiibo to Facebook.
** A live-action adaption of ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'' is released to surprisingly positive reviews.
* '''17 October'''
** Chris shows off an alternate version of his [[Angelica Rosechu|Angelica]] Amiibo.
** Chris uploads [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|two more Super Smash Bros. Videos]].
* '''18 October'''
** Chris shows off a special edition 50th Sonichu Amiibo.
** Chris announces a [[contest]] to guess the name of [[Robotnik]]'s replacement character in [[Sonichu 1]].
* '''19 October''' - Chris makes several "updates" to his [[Etsy]] site.
* '''20 October'''
** The revised version of Sonichu 1 is uploaded, replacing Dr. Robotnik with [[Ren Skysoar]].
** ''[[Guitar Hero]] Live'' is released.
* '''23 October''' - Chris [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Oh Boy, More Pages!|teases his fans on Facebook]] with the promise of new pages of [[Sonichu 11]].
* '''25 October''' - "[[Thank You from Christine Chandler]]" is uploaded to Youtube, a video in which Chris offers a thank you to those who had purchased his Amiibos.
* '''26 October'''
** Chris [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#You're Quite Welcome|links to his new video on Facebook]] and redoubles his thanks.
** Sixteen new pages of ''[[Sonichu 11]]'' are published.
** Chris presents prototype [[Amiibo]] of [[Simonla]] and [[Silvana]].
** Chris releases two more [[Super Smash Bros. Videos]], with these featuring him actually playing the game.
* '''28 October''' - Chris decides to add [[Sonichu 1#2015 Revisions|two new pages]] to ''[[Sonichu 1]]''.
* '''29 October''' - "[[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.]]" is uploaded to YouTube. Chris apologizes for his [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|past comments]] about [[Homos|homosexuals]].
* '''30 October'''
** Chris makes a [[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Ultimate Smash Bros. Theory: Smash is Autistic | Gnoggin|comment on a YouTube video]] regarding Super Smash Bros.
** On Facebook, Chris makes [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Ironic Autism|a post]] pointing out the irony of his making an [[Amiibo]] figure representing [[autism]] for an autistic game.
* '''31 October'''
** Old photos of Chris and his [[Clover and Snoopy|dogs]] are leaked on the [[Kiwi Farms|forums]].
** [[Halloween]]. Chris [[October 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonichu Finally Goes Trans|releases two drawings on Facebook]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his family dressed for the holiday.

==Posts from this month==
'''Facebook'''
*[[October 2015 Facebook Posts]]

==Videos from this month==
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC Mii Showcase|CWC Mii Showcase]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#Jerkops and Janekops|Jerkops and Janekops]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC vs Autism|CWC vs Autism]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#Slaweel Vs Count Graduon|Slaweel Vs Count Graduon]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#Slaweel Ryam|Slaweel Ryam]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#Autism Takeover|Autism Takeover]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWCs Vs Autism Round 2|CWCs Vs Autism Round 2]]
*[[Thank You from Christine Chandler]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#I Vs the foes|I Vs the foes]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. Videos#I Vs a horde|I Vs a horde]]
*[[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.]]

{{Timeline}}

Trolls

2026-05-15T21:30:57Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

:''This article is about troll personas. For how trolls manipulated Chris, see [[Chris and manipulation]].''

{{Protip|We strongly recommend that you do not [[Weens|try to troll Chris]]. Doing so risks you getting targeted and potentially doxed.}}
{{Misinfo|Any insistence from the Classic Era trolls, such as the Miscreants, that they were trying to "help" Chris, is mostly tongue-in-cheek. Like with any other Internet troll, their primary goal was to get a rise out of Chris.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|That which can condemn the abnormally foolish is not the abnormally clever... That which can condemn the abnormally foolish is the normally foolish.|GK Chesterton}}
{{quote|...[T]hey are [[Chris and anger|vicious]], [[Chris and reality|crazy]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|wickedly smart]] people.|[[Chris]] on trolls.<ref>[[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Friendship_Issues|Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]], [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}

'''Trolls''' are various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to mess with the life of, and extract as many lulz from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autism|autistic]] manchild, [[Chris Chan]], as possible. The organized effort to troll Chris began in earnest in 2007, and still has momentum going for it, even if it peaked after disbanding of the Classic-era trolls following the death of Chris's [[father]] in 2011.

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from [[Manipulation|manipulating]] Chris into a ''Truman Show''-like existence, making him [[:Category:Videos with RAGE|rage on video]], making him take [[Nudes|pictures of himself unclothed]], accelerating the breaking of his sense of [[reality]], and more.

==Pre-ED==
It is notable that Chris was bullied in real life before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his lifelong-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....

==The Miscreants==
{{quote|Y'all are making me very nervous right now.|Chris on The Miscreants.<ref>[[Mumble 9]]</ref>}}

[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|left|The Miscreants at their annual Ancient and Secret convention.]]
[[File:MiscreantsJury.png|thumb|left|The Miscreants on jury duty for Chris's [[Affair with Mother|misdeeds]].]]
[[Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|thumb|The Miscreants was an ancient order dating over a thousand years. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Christian's ancestor Geoffrey Weston the Feeble-Minded notes that he has been fooled by the "Man donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit."]]

'''The Miscreants''' were a group of people who trolled Chris from 2009 up until his father's death in 2011. [[Clyde Cash]] was the original leader of The Miscreants, which was styled after The Patriots, the shadowy cabal from the ''[[Metal Gear]]'' series who are revealed to be behind a conspiracy spanning decades, including all of the main incidents the protagonists go through. They claimed to be responsible for several unfortunate events in Chris's past, [[Chris and reality|which Chris seemingly believed]].

On 23 [[February 2009]], The Miscreants approached Chris in [[Mumble]] and informed him of their plan. Several [[Secret Weapon|"HA-HA, I got you!"]] videos were made, all with false information. To deal with these Internet bullies Chris resorted to [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009|babbling incoherently]].

After the disappearance of Clyde Cash, the site<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20090323102050/http://themiscreants.110mb.com/ The Miscreants Website]</ref> was down for a few weeks, with the message that "Clyde's dead, baby." After that, the website returned, apparently re-uploaded by Vivian Gee. Part of the site description read "Name's Vivian. Guess I'm the new leader or some shit. Fuck y'all." On 28 [[June 2009]], the Miscreants set up shop at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] message board.

While online wars have been waged, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in Pickle Suits]] have also been deployed to ruin Chris in reality. These exploits have included stealing his [[Emily|date]], obtaining potentially life-ruining material, and generally being lulzy. They also seemed to treat Chris's father [[Bob Chandler]] as one of their own.

While the group's explicit purpose, [[Mumble 9|according to Cash]], was to ensure that [[Chris and sex|Chris never got laid]] and forever remain a [[virgin with rage]], that didn't stop them from [[Hooker incident|sending a bunch of prostitutes to]] [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]]. Nonetheless, Chris got the last laugh when [[Mia Hamm|he hired a prostitute]].

Since the death of Bob, the Miscreants have effectively disbanded, with pretty much everyone involved distancing themselves from Chris, and only a few (such as [[Surfshack Tito]]) continuing their efforts before eventually losing interest. Years after the fact, some have admitted that they took things too far when reflecting on this era of Christory, while others look back with a sense of smug satisfaction.

[[File:AdamStackhouse.jpg|left|80px|thumb|Adam Stackhouse]]

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===

In [[2007]] Chris would enter the ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]'' contest [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], in an attempt to win over [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]'s heart. [[Adam Stackhouse]] would win instead, due to his video being superior. This would prompt a [[Chris and anger|tard rage]], in which he created a fake webpage proclaiming himself the winner<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref>, as well as [[CWC is Angry|a creepy video]] in which he shoots a photo of Adam and his sister with his [[Megatron Pistol]] in silence and exclaims his anger at the end.

[[File:ABL.png|left|80px|thumb|Alec Benson Leary]]

===[[Alec Benson Leary]]===
Creator of ''[[Asperchu]]'', a webcomic that was specifically designed to piss Chris off. This started a long war between ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and the aforementioned Asperchu in which Alec and the [[Asperpedia Four]] caused the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]], placed ads for the [[Asperpedia]] on the [[CWCipedia]], and eventually took control of the CWCipedia and took it down. Alec and Chris exchanged a series of [[Alec Benson Leary calls|nine calls]] over the course of the war. Alec has also been responsible for other trollsome personas, including [[Lars]] and [[Jackie]].

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY MAYS]]

===[[BILLY MAYS]]===
The infamous loud-mouthed salesman of the same name who types in ALL CAPS. He was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It was widely rumored that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely death.

===[[Blanca Weiss]]===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3Jr2ZktVfI videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

===[[BlueSpike]]===
[[Image:Bluespikeohexploitable.png|thumb|left|80px|Bluespike's identity is unknown.]]

BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a [[Pedofork|thirteen-year-old boy]] who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]], "[[Julie]]". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long phone call]], in which he berates Chris, and forces him to cut up his [[Sonichu medallion]] and shove it up his ass.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]

===[[Bryan Bash]]===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous "[[Bob Walks In]]" audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]. Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

===[[Clyde Cash]]===

[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash. The man. The legend. The guido.]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of trolls. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of the people. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.

===[[Emily]]===

A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]]. She was played by [[LoveYouLongTime]], who also portrayed [[Kim Wilson]] and various other real-life gal-pals; Chris [[Facial blindness|failed to recognize her face]] in all of these instances.

===[[Evan Christopher George]]===
Evan was a troll who sent "fanart" to Chris through e-mail, which lead to an ongoing back and forth between them. He is also the creator of the ''Simonchu'' parody webcomic and later participated in the ''Asperchu'' trolling saga.

[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]

===[[Jimmy Hill]]===
A British sportscaster. He claimed to be the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character which briefly became very popular in Europe in 2009.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
The original creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] page.

===[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] ===
A real-life pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris]]

===[[Liquid Chris]]===
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

===[[Lordsillynipples]]===
A troll from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Nudes|infamous Chris-chan noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for giving birth to the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]].

===[[Robert Simmons V]]===
A YouTube "anti-troll" who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church Visit|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Date with Emily]].

[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]

===[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]===
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as ''Super Mario'', ''The Legend of Zelda'', and ''Star Fox''. He pretended to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow Sonic abortion]]. It would later come to light that Miyamoto was a sockpuppet of Clyde.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===

An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. He was also involved in [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction]] of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].

[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]
[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

===[[Thorg]]===
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]]. She and Clyde Cash were both personas created by the same troll.

==Renaissance Trolls==
Following Bob's death in 2011, the then-current group of trolls disbanded to give Chris room to grieve. In the years that followed, new trolls would eventually crop up.

===[[Thetan]]===
Impersonated Chris's former high school classmates and various other people.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Thetan Saga]]</ref>

===[[Catherine]] and friends===
Catherine is a fake love interest who conspired with [[Marvin]] by manipulating [[OKCupid]] results to match with Chris's.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Manipulation of Chris During Catherine Saga]]</ref> She used this influence for another sweetheart saga which included meeting him in real life to surreptitiously record his conversations.

Accompanying her is a group of others that would interact with Chris, such as [[Cousin Al]] who met him IRL and found the [[Manchester High Leaks]], [[Colin]], who was a member of their open relationship, [[Shaina]], [[Renee]] and [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah]] who would e-mail Chris frequently.

===[[Jeff/Francine]]===
The mysterious creator of [[CWC Adult Chronicles]]. Targeted by Chris for selling unofficial Sonichu merchandise and in a blatant act of [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], was made fun of for her transition.

===[[Johan]]===
An ex-gay porn star who challenged Chris for the rights to impregnate [[Sam and Ellen|two lesbians]]. After a sex-off, Johan's superior body and non-bent duck won them over.

===[[Jessica Quinn]]===
A former white knight who played the long con by becoming his sweetheart. Known for her fat fetishism before ditching him and coming back and forth to toy with him.

==Fantasy Enablers==
Beginning in October 2017, the [[Idea Guys]] exploited Chris's fantasy [[coping]] mechanisms to gain power over him. Since then, numerous [[enablers]] have used similar methods.

===[[Idea Guys]]===
A group of trolls whose actions rivaled and arguably surpassed those of BlueSpike. They remain infamous for how they manipulated and brainwashed Chris over a period of several months, coercing him into performing degrading acts and extorting him out of thousands. The Idea Guys hastily vanished after the emergence of the [[Guard Dogs]], who set about attempting to reverse all the Idea Guys had wrought. Nonetheless, Chris maintains many of their influences in the current day, chief among them the beliefs that he's a [[CPU Blue Heart|CPU goddess]], the [[Dimensional Merge]], and his imaginary [[polyamorous marriage]].

===[[Teen Troon Squad]]===
A group of transgender teenagers who posed as his friends. They took advantage of Chris's faltering sense of reality by feeding him information on the [[Dimensional Merge]] and taking over his Twitter account. Rumored to have given Chris marijuana.

===[[Jacob Sockness]]===
A mysterious man from San Francisco, California, who aimed to manipulate Chris into a relationship. He had primarily served to only further enable the beliefs planted in Chris's head by the [[Idea Guys]], as well as bolster Chris's beliefs in the [[Dimensional Merge]]. After Sockness stated that he was taking a train across the country to meet with Chris in person, Chris insisted that Sockness stop after realizing Sockness was a legitimate danger. While Sockness relented and went back to California, he still ended up continuing to try and force his way back into Chris's life on repeated occasions, only to be aggressively rejected by Chris in late November 2019. Despite this, Sockness made several more attempts at returning. Eventually being repeatedly chastised by Chris on [[Twitter]] in [[July 2020]], and finally being permanently blocked by Chris by the end of [[August 2020]].

===[[Ben Saint]]===
A webcomic artist who expressed an interest in Chris two years prior. Ben entered into a squabble with Chris after getting him and [[Night Star]] involved in his latest comic series promoting his latest project, ''Endless War''. The interaction would then lead to a battle over the canonicity over the events of the comic, with the two sides providing [[Sonichu Special 7|contradictory narratives]].

===[[Larry Vaughn]]===
A troll who attempted to somewhat follow in the footsteps of the Idea Guys. His grandiose plans of using [[Magi-Chan]] as a hostage to make Chris drive to Disney World were stopped before they could begin, but Vaughn did manage to have Chris send bizarre Twitter DMs to various individuals.

==Modern Trolls==

===[[KwaiiSandbag]] and [[Lily]]===
Two trolls who posed as psychics to influence Chris. They managed to snap him out of the delusion that he was body-swapped with Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]==
While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their true motivations.

==Devil Trolls==
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's depiction.]]

Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

[[File:Devil_troll_artistic_interpretation.png|thumb|right|150px|Artistic recreation.]]

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[Chris and stress|stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off original designs]], Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.

==Motivations==
===Chris's perspective===
Chris himself has a very simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"[[Chris and English|Tehy're]] just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}

[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]

This is consistent with the advice given to many children who are harassed in real life: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably, when in reality, bullies abuse others for many different motives, jealousy being only one of them. Furthermore, internet trolls typically do what they do for their own amusement, and not always out of some personal slight against their target. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because [[Chris and his ego|he is so much better than everyone else.]] [[File:Trollmiia.png|200px|thumb|artistic recreation @miiashapphire]]

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he [[Rollin' and Trollin'|pretended to be an epic troll]], but then [[Jack Thaddeus|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to [[CWC Trollin More|drop the ruse]] on pain of having his [[tugboat]] taken away. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

A tool he has used to fight against his hated trolls is claiming that they are all homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]].

Unsurprisingly, [[Chris and the law|Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'']], and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. In [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]], he told people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].

As the years passed, Chris's take on trolls has erupted into a massive flight of fancy. Because he has been refused admittance to [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris has proclaimed that the entire store is a massive front for Internet trolling, with [[Michael Snyder]] as the ringleader of it all. He also sees the [[CWCki Forums]], [[Kiwi Farms]] and [[Reddit]] as a major gathering place for trolls.

===His parents' perspective===
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in a myriad of ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once [[Ohio trip|drove off to Ohio]] to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

==Chris the troll==
While the idea of everyone's favorite manchild becoming the one thing he hates seems kind of farfetched, if not laughably ironic, it actually isn't too far off as one might think. Because of his horrendous misconceptions of what he thinks his trolls does, Chris believes that, if given a new target, Chris's trolls would gladly stop attacking him and go after that new target. In the past, Chris has tried to deflect his trolls towards people like [[Joshua Martinez]], [[Michael Snyder]] and even [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]]. However, Chris has been so entrenched with his trolls and viewers that the idea of going after someone else doesn't seem feasible anymore.

As well, Chris has even attempted to troll his own trolls. One of the first known attempts was the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, claiming that he had pulled the most epic prank on the Internet, only to turn around the very next day and reveal that it was a lie. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], as mentioned above, had his comic book self thinking he had kissed [[Meg Griffin]], not knowing that it was actually [[Silvana]]. As well, on 28 [[April 2012]], he attempted to convince his trolls that he had decided to return to the mall and resume his [[Love Quest]], armed with his [[Attraction Sign]]. Again, he revealed the next day that it was a lie and that he had gotten [[ban]]ned from the mall just before he decided to pull it.

Interestingly, Chris's perception of being a troll is less about trolling to get a rise out of someone and more of attempting to pull a prank. His "return" to the Love Quest is probably the biggest indicator of that. Chris let his trolls know through his [[Facebook]], then waited a day before shouting "SURPRISE!". As well, he also believed that if someone reads his message, he's going to assume that everyone has and that they are going to descend on the mall like a bad flash mob just to find Chris. Too bad everyone, unlike Chris, has lives of their own.

However, if there is one person that Chris himself has successfully trolled, without a shadow of a doubt, it's ''himself''. Proof of this can be directly pointed to his [[Ego#Surrendering Information|bad habit of surrendering information]] about himself, no matter how [[Tomgirl|embarrassing]], [[Nudes|demeaning]], or [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|downright]] [[Dox|stupid]] giving out said tidbits of himself would be. Chris often screams at his trolls for not leaving him alone, but, aside from the fact that his antics only add more fuel to the fire, he always fails to realise that if he didn't give them ammo to begin with, he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament.

It just goes to show you, nobody trolls Chris better than Chris. Chris is the type to not only shoot himself in the foot, but reload, fire again, and repeat the cycle while blaming the trolls. He just never learns.

==Chris's relationship with the trolls==
Although he would never admit it, Chris eventually developed something of a love-hate relationship with the trolls, which became clear during the Liquid Saga. When Clyde trolled Liquid Chris in a phone call, Chris attempted to redirect Clyde to himself, angered by Liquid's slanderous attempt at stealing his trolls. In an E-mail to Vivian, Chris also [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#4 August|thanked the trolls]] for documenting [[Honest Content|the information he revealed to them]] and [[Lie|allowing him to mature emotionally]]. Although the trolls were a nuisance to Chris, their antics were far more thrilling than Chris's hopelessly shitty yet mundane lifestyle, which left him unfulfilled and [[Persecution complex|desperate for adversity]]. The trolls served as black-and-white antagonists for Chris, giving him a perceived purpose in life and allowing him to live out his [[Sonichu (comic)|fantasies]] as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a hero]] [[Jerkops|pitted]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|against]] [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|one-dimensional]] [[Count Graduon|villains]]. This was likely a factor in Chris's susceptibility to trolling.

Eventually, Chris's desire for a more exciting life of heroes fighting against villains was fully exploited by the [[Idea Guys]] and [[other enablers]]. As a result, Chris now believes that he ''already'' leads the same life as his fantasy counterpart, and has lost interest in traditional trolls. He even started thanking them for helping him discover [[Transgender|his true self]].

==Today==
:''Main article: [[Weening]]''

Since the death of [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]], the [[2014 house fire|loss of his home]] and [[Financhu Crisis|his plummet to the breadline]], Chris has changed profoundly. No longer is he the [[naïve]], [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|indifferent]] [[Ego|egotist]] ED discovered in 2007; instead, he is a jaded, chronically depressed, [[Tomgirl|cross-dressing]], [[Messiah complex|delusional]] child trapped in an adult's body, who is not as susceptible to, capable of dealing with, and arguably, as deserving of trolling as he used to be.

Many of those who continue to follow his activities are beginning to opine that he has suffered enough, and that active trolling, even where it is successful, doesn't produce the results it used to, takes more effort due to his inflated paranoia, tends to lead to small groups monopolizing Chris and hoarding the information they gather (as happened with [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] and [[Catherine]]), and in some cases, causes needless emotional damage to Chris. For example, the revelation that Chris's latest girlfriend, Catherine, was yet another troll persona in early [[November 2014]] provoked disgust and disappointment, as many felt that not only was it [[Sonichu (character)|unoriginal]] and [[JULAAAY|no longer funny]], but the trolls had spent weeks, if not months stringing him along and toying with him, including tricking him into [[I Love You, Catherine|grovelling]] for "Catherine"'s continued affection. Many felt this amounted to emotional abuse of an already broken and miserable shell of a man, some were even disappointed as they felt that after all Chris had gone through, he deserved a lucky break, and a real relationship for a change.

Further, this was accompanied by the revelation that the same group of trolls had also fabricated Chris's denunciation by his [[Gal pal|high school friends]], leading to many questioning the morality of impersonating Chris's old friends just to get a reaction out of him, and of course, the terrifying [[CWCville|Orwellian nightmare]] that such trolling has left Chris in, as virtually every aspect of Chris's social life is [[Chris and manipulation|engineered by trolls]] and he has no way of knowing what or who is real – [[Savannah Chandler|even his own family]].

Chris's transformation has also coincided with, and perhaps influenced, a shift in trolling. Active, chronic trolling such as Chris has experienced is now generally looked down upon as [[weening]] and attention whoring; instead, it has become more fashionable to leave a lolcow like Chris to their own devices for the most part, and [[Passive observers|observe, rather than continually provoke]]. Proponents note that many major events in Chris's life have happened independent of troll influence, such as [[2014 house fire|him burning down his own home]], his various outings to [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] and beyond (and many subsequent IRL bans), his bizarre dealings with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and of course, the infamous [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]] incidents. It can also be argued that much (if not most) of the trolling that Chris experienced since his discovery in 2007 was weening as well.

==See also==
* [[2012 Poster campaign]]
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]
* [[A-Logging]]
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Enablers]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]
* [[Watchmen]] - The inverse of the Miscreants
* [[Weening]]
* [[White knight]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

SpaghettiRoutine

2026-05-15T20:37:54Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a [[YouTube]] [[video]] that [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. [[Jackie]] had requested him to make a video depicting him actually cooking spaghetti (which is a very simple dish to make) in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Chris claimed that [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove (which, knowing [[:File:Gibson.jpg|the state of their kitchen]], was probably true), and thus ''pretended'' to make spaghetti instead. Chris then presents microwaved spaghetti served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he shoehorns in a not-so-subtle jab at [[Clyde Cash]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SpaghettiRoutine
| ytid = BAIXSVcmZP8
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Obesity|Food]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ShowerClean2]]
| next = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
}}

{{quote|Unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Chefboyardee.jpg|thumb|right|Thank goodness for Chris's [[TRUE and HONEST]] Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)]]

For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it.

[''Mimes picking up a pot.'']

Here's the pot.

[''Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.'']

Put it on the stove.

[''Mimes turning on the stove.'']

Set it to the boiling temperature.

[''Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.'']

Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...

[''Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.'']

And...

[''Hissing noises, wild gestures.'']

Click click click click click click!

[''Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.'']

Noodles, smell so good!

[''Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.'']

Mm, hey look at that. [[Duck|Drippy, no stiffy!]]

[''Holds them close to the camera.'']

I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while.

[''More hissing, more stirring.'']

Yeah, I say our noodles are done.

[''More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.'']

Hey, we pour—we drain the water out.

[''Does so, and sets “pot” down.'']

We get some plate-we get some plates.

[''Mimes getting plates down.'']

Oh wait a minute...we're serving two!

[''In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.'']

Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'.

[''More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.'']

Fork.

[''Mimes scraping pot.'']

We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later! In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce.

[''Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.'']

There we go, I popped the seal!

[''Pours it.'']

Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella!

[''Sings while caressing the mozzarella.'']

I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...

[''Shakes it over the food.'']

And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever.

[''More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”'']

And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|they end up not so good]], not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already.

[''Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”'']

And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this!

[''Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real, albeit canned, spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in and out on it.'']

Yummy, yummy, delicious!

[''Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.'']

So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious.

[''Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.'']

Mmm...it smells so good!

[''Holds a forkful up to the camera.'']

You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'?

[''Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. He holds out his arms and flashes a shit-eating grin, like he did something worth praising.'']

Ta-da!

[''Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.'']

I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, [[Clyde Cash|at least my head's not fuckin' orange]]. Like a certain...

[''Wipes nose some more'']

...Cashey-type person I know.

[''Turns camera off.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ShowerClean2]]|nextlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-30 c]]

OmegaCon

2026-05-15T01:42:56Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''OmegaCon''' is a gaming and anime convention held annually in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]]. Chris attended on Saturday, 29 August 2015. By all accounts, it was his first appearance at a convention since [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] in 2005.

__TOC__

==2015==
On 29 August Chris announced on [[Facebook]]:

{{quotebox|At ‪#‎OmegaCon2015‬; totes ‪#‎BassCannon‬ the audience at ‪#‎Cosplay‬ Contest!}}

This was accompanied with a couple of photographs. It is not known who took these photos, but apparently Chris went alone.

<center><gallery>
File:OmegaconA.jpg
File:OmegaconB.jpg
</gallery></center>

Someone on Twitter provided another pose:

<center><gallery>
File:OmegaconD.jpg
</gallery></center>

Somehow Chris had managed to escape his domestic responsibilities to his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and his [[Clover and Snoopy|dogs]] to spend the day having fun.

When [[William Elliott Waterman]] mistook his costume as a "vocaloid," Chris clarified:
{{quote|Vocaloid?! I am Not a Computer! I'm Vinyl Scratch, A.K.A. DJ Pon3! A Musical Soul with a deep sense into that bass. A slave to the beat and rhythm. You do not program me, because I'm already programmed in my biological CPU!}}

[[File:OmegaconC.jpg|right|thumb|125px|Vinyl Scratch, AKA DJ Pon3.]]
[[Vinyl Scratch]] is a minor character in ''[[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' who also shows up in human form in the ''Equestria Girls'' film series, which Chris adores. She cohabits with another musically inclined pony named Octavia. Chris had been a fan of this character for some time. He had added 28 videos to a playlist called "Vinyl Scratch and Octavia" on his [[YouTube]] account, and had made a number of positive statements on Facebook. Vinyl Scratch brings together Chris's interests in [[music]], [[Impulse Gay Social Club|dancing]], and--while the children's cartoon doesn't go there--[[Homos#Chris the lesbian|lesbianism]].

Chris's [[Chris and cosplaying|costume]] appears to be largely homemade. He is wearing the same purple My Little Pony goggles as when he attended his first [[Cville Pride|pride festival]] in August 2014, and when he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop manajerk]]. Vinyl Scratch's purple tights are conveniently suited to Chris's tucking methods. He had first given himself the terrible blue [[hair]] dye job in July. The musical notes on his costume are the [[Chris and Music|wrong way around]], because he used a [[Autism|flipped image as a reference]]. He is also, rather surprisingly, wearing his famous [[medallion]] in public, possibly for the first time since [[2010]]. This is similar to how he cosplayed "as himself" at Anime Mid-Atlantic for the sake of self-promotion. This time around, however, he's also promoting the medallions themselves, as they are his hottest [[eBay]] item.

Chris entered the cosplay [[contest]], posing for the contest line and a group photo. His performance was presumably not unlike what the crowds at [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] have to put up with every weekend. A few days later Chris would reveal that he had just finished a seven-week belly dancing course, which undoubtedly influenced his moves.

<center><gallery>
File:OmegaconK.png
File:OmegaconL.jpg
File:OmegaconH.jpg
File:OmegaCon2015.jpg
File:OmegaconF.jpg
File:OmegaconG.jpg
File:OmegaconJ.jpg
</gallery></center>

He didn't win. This doesn't seem to have dampened his spirits, though--he gave the event a five-star review on Facebook.

Field agents report that Chris also attended a panel for indie game developers and used the Q&A segment to rant about the trolls and cyber-bullies. He handed out his [[business card]] to everyone he could, and carried his [[Sonichu Amiibo]] with him in a bag bearing the marriage equality logo and the message "TOTES GAY" written in large letters.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-8-29-15-chris-goes-to-omegacon2015.12123/page-16#post-956952 (archive: https://archive.ph/AUYsz)</ref>

===Videos===
Someone on YouTube posted seven seconds of surreptitious footage: {{Infobox/video
| name = Chandler.mp4
| video = {{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-fGnDrQeZVWY}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2015]]
| subject = {{convention|text}}
| previous = [[26 December 2014#23 July hearing|Chris' Latest White Knight]]
| next = [[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC Mii Showcase|CWC Mii Showcase]]
}}


Chris can be seen very briefly in this walkthrough at 3:46 with a small group: {{Infobox/video
| name = OmegaCon Walkthrough
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-wCtvVv1QoE}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2015]]
| subject = {{convention|text}}
| previous = [[26 December 2014#23 July hearing|Chris' Latest White Knight]]
| next = [[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC Mii Showcase|CWC Mii Showcase]]
}}

{{Deletedvideo}}

Another image of Chris on stage shows up at 7:21 of this slideshow: {{Infobox/video
| name = Omegacon 2015 Musical Slideshow
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rB8GWRyzMjQ}}
| stardate = 31 [[August 2015]]
| subject = {{convention|text}}
| previous = [[26 December 2014#23 July hearing|Chris' Latest White Knight]]
| next = [[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC Mii Showcase|CWC Mii Showcase]]
}}

Chris also appears at 0:28 in this [https://www.facebook.com/DarkfoxPhotography/videos/1090586627629503/ video] of the contest line: {{Infobox/video
| name = CWC at Omega Con
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bkKily7bFg0}}
| stardate = 31 [[August 2015]]
| subject = {{convention|text}}
| previous = [[26 December 2014#23 July hearing|Chris' Latest White Knight]]
| next = [[Super Smash Bros. Videos#CWC Mii Showcase|CWC Mii Showcase]]
}}

==2016==

[[File:Cwc cosplay omegacon 2016.jpg|thumb|250px|Cosplay]]
[[File:Cwc omegacon 2016 day 1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris, on the 26th]]

Chris attended on all three days of the event in 2016, from 26-28 August, due to winning a free ticket last year<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-18-new-update-omegacon-and-more-ebegging.22640/page-13#post-1618484</ref>.

According to [[Kim]] on [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#.22I.27m_not_on_drugs.21.22|Facebook]], this is where Chris tried smoking [[Tobacky|marijuana]] that he had gotten from Bobby Marley.

On the 27th, a field agent posted this report:<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/omegacon-2016.23786/page-2#post-1704200</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/omegacon-2016.23786/page-8#post-1705441</ref>

{{quotebox|Posting live from Omegacon. Observed him while he sat in a panel. He looked like he was wearing the same thing as yesterday. Take this observation with a grain of salt but during the Q&A portion he would seem much more interested when a girl asked a question; looking at them while they spoke, but didn't do the same when a guy spoke. Like a said, may be nothing or he trained himself not to pay attention to men. Flipped and shook his hair out and the girl behind him leaned back slightly and made a face.

Lost him afterwards and it looks like he left since his car is gone. No idea if he'll be back.}}

{{quotebox|I saw him talking to some girl and it looked like she was uncomfortable, which is pretty normal when weirdos try and talk to girls at cons and not getting the hint to let them go. But he didn't do anything super lulzy and didn't chimp out on anyone or anything in general.
}}

The report on the 28th:<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/omegacon-2016.23786/page-12#post-1706805</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/omegacon-2016.23786/page-13#post-1708480</ref>

{{quotebox|Chris was playing Pokemon against some 7 year old and beat him. Didn't act like a shit to the kid but would sigh periodically. He wore the same thing for a third day in a row. Has two silver rings on his right hand that were connected by a blue string. I never noticed this about his thinning hair; I just thought he had a receding hairline, but the top of his hair is pretty sparse and short. An older lady(not the same one as the picture posted here) referred to Chris as Christine and used female pronouns. Chris also has a MASSIVE binder full of hundreds of Pokemon cards. Saw him later rushing around with what looked like an empty food carton. I don't know.}}

{{quotebox|So he was at a vendor that was across from the Tabletop room to buy some Ramune(weeb soda). This vendor sold weeb snacks along with Pokemon merchandise. After Chris paid he was digging in the cooler to find the one he bought and he chuckled to himself while going, "Well I hope I didn't buy anything Team Rocket stole." Commence the fake awkward laughter from the person running the table. }}

==References==
<references/>

==External Links==
* [http://www.omegaconvention.com/ Official Website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

LOOK at the truth!

2026-05-11T22:35:27Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''LOOK at the truth!''' is a video that was released on 10 [[August 2009]], in which Chris ([[Solid]]) attempts to clarify the differences between himself and [[Liquid Chris]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = LOOK at the truth!
| ytid = _i_bNC8EGBw
| stardate = 10 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]
| next = [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]
}}
{{quote|Who has the body type that has been mocked for the long time? [[Obesity|I do.]]}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Removes glasses, leaves them on a table his right''] Alright, let's get some similarities and differences compared. Personality traits: in the longer run who has been the [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|cooler man]], who has origin on everything in the [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[comic]]s, as you noticed in all the videos I have been the cooler man, I have been [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|more calm]] and even my voice sounds more similar to everything in the past recordings, including my [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]] and [''drops [[PS3]] controller and points with both hands at his head''] look at my face. The very same face from February 24th [''makes 2's with both hands''] [[2007|two years ago]].

And another thing: yes. [''Lowers down to grab his plastic guitar''] I have never learned to play a [[Chris and music#Instruments|real guitar]], but that doesn't mean I could not rock, so that's a good reason why [''strikes the guitar, as finishing a riff''] I play on the ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. [''Leaves guitar at his right side''] Started out on PlayStation 2, where it originally started, you know. And another thing...

[''Video jumps'']

I have still been having a ch- harder time of trying find a [[boyfriend-free girl]] int- to make to a [[sweetheart]] from the ground-up. Yet he was able to get a [[Kacey|girlfriend]]... [''snaps his fingers''] like that. Big difference! In the longer run, the real Christopher Christian Weston Chandler had a harder time... and still is having a bit of a hard time. [''Deep breath'']

And also if you look at the eight-year old photo, and I have recently looked back upon it, an eight-year old video. Eight-year old video. And in previous videos and photographs including on the [[Encyclopaedia Dramatica]] page, yes it is true. I'm no longer ashamed of it. [''Moves body 90 degrees to his left''] I was born with the body type that has... [''flashes the camera''] [[Muscle bra|MANBOOBS]]! [''Grabs both breasts with both hands and plays with them''] My type. [''Lowers shirt''] You might say a little type in the "A" and a little bit of size A. But I'm a man, so there. I'm still a man.

My [[Duck|DICK]] was on that Encyclopaedia Dramatica page. They, it was falsely brought on, because the [[trolls]] posed as women who falsely gained my trust. I know, it's my fault, my fault that those trolls got the information, but still they documented it for the longest time since about... some about [[2006]] or [[2007]], when I first found the ED page in 2007 in [''mumbles'']. It was just getting started on that... about late [[2007#October|October]] then.

Plus also, green and purple striped shirt. I think the picture was blurry, but that's still my face, so there you go. That's a few big differences between me and him. Is he the man with the body-type of manboobs, A negative blood. Born on 24 February [[1982]], born with the name of Christopher Weston Chandler, went to Regency Square found- had the inspiration for the [[Christopher's name change|name change]] in 1989 by the English speaking conductor [[Leonard Bearstein]]. Does he? [''Shakes head horizontally''] No. And you know his diploma and his degree that he had displayed, counterfeited from the pictures that were taken from the slideshow on a [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] which was only distributed family and close friend-wise. It would not have leaked if the troll had not posed as my very first female crush on all the way back to Greene County Primary days. [''Long pause, staring at the camera''] So there.

Remember, who has a longer history? I do. Who has the [[Obesity|body type]] that has been mocked for the long time? I do. He does not have any of these things. He has nothing, all that he has [''lowers his body to grab a white sheet of paper''] is a piece of paper that I can get 500 sheets of at [[Walmart]] [''tears sheet of paper''] for five bucks.

So I'll leave you with that. Quit with this game, man and quit with the- with the supporting the impostor, trolls. I have thanked you for the [[CWCki|documentations]]. You can go troll [[Joshua Martinez]] for all I care because he is a liar. He is a liar. At this point I don't care much about him, so go ahead, troll him.

Peace out, have a good day, stay safe.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]|nextlink=[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-10]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos published to IBAChandler]]

Kacey Call 7

2026-05-10T06:27:28Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

Kacey Call 7 was the seventh Kacey call, and took place on 1 [[September 2009]].

==Summary==
*[[Kacey]] is still shocked that [[Chris]] is on Lipitor. Chris says the food group he eats the most is vegetables.
*The Chandlers have three refrigerators. Chris whines about the house being a mess. [[Bob]] does most of the home cooking.
*Chris says he'll go jogging with Kacey, but tries to back out when she says they'll be jogging five whole miles.
*Chris needs to buy a [[sports bra]] because his manboobs bounce.
*Chris was going to talk to social security about getting a [[job]] and a house, and his [[dad]] wouldn't let him go alone.
*Chris definitely felt like more of an adult when he turned 21.
*Chris would definitely not date an 18 year old, the youngest he would date is 21 (at the age 27). Kacey says that 6 years difference is too much for a relationship.
*[[Third date]] = [[sex]], Chris learned from [[TV]]. He definitely does not think of Kacey like that though.
*Chris has waited a "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time" for sex. "It hurts".
*Kacey tells Chris he does not need to have sex in order to have a fulfilling relationship. She warns him that sex will not automatically solve his problems and that if he continues hyping up losing his virginity like he'd been doing at that point, then he'll only [[Virgin with rage#Aftermath|severely disappoint himself]] when [[Mia Hamm|the time finally comes]].
*Chris has [[masturbate]]d so much that he "can't even feel that much of a rush from it".
*Chris tells Kacey to become a born again virgin because he saw it on ''King of the Hill''.
*Chris, regarding Bluespike and other troll relationships: "I have learned from my mistakes."
*Chris randomly admits that he used to confuse Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson.
*Chris implies that he has been jerking off to Kacey.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9LqWVE8_uE8}}
| Stardate = 1 September 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 6]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 8]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris! It’s Kacey!

'''Chris:''' Hi, Kacey! How are you?

'''Kacey:''' I’m okay. How about you?

'''Chris:''' I’m okay. I’m doing—I’m fair now. Y’know, I just talked to… uh… [[Kim]]. She gave me some… uh… wise words. She talked to you about [[Chris and health|exercising, veggies and whatnot]]. But, yeah, I’m gonna be- gonna [pause] be working- yeah I’m gonna be working on that. I’m- I’m serious.

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Oh, well Chris I-I-I don’t know if you’ve really ris- If you’ve really realized the gravity of your situation. I mean, when you told me you were on cholesterol medicine at your age… I mean just- just wow! I-I mean that’s not good. [pause] Like do you realize how serious it is if you’re put on that at your age?

'''Chris:''' I was [unintelligible]

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I mean you have a really horrible life expectancy. [pause]

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I saw it as a precaution…

'''Kacey:''' No! A doctor would not let you go on that as just a precaution, because those drugs can actually hurt you if you don’t need them. [pause]

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I didn’t… let’s see. Okay. Well… Alright, well, maybe I’ll-I’ll-I can get off the Lipitor and see how I… uh… how I go from there.

'''Kacey:''' No, no. I mean if you’re on it, you’re probably on it for a reason, Chris. I mean your doctor wouldn’t give it to you unless you really needed it. And, I mean, getting off it would only hurt you. The point is that you need to get to a point where you don’t need it, if you can even do that. I mean, if you’re already on it, you may not be able to reverse that. [pause] I mean that this is like… you’re really close to… you know, going into a hospital or something. I mean, that’s scary.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, it is scary… Hmm. It is scary.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, but I don’t-I don’t think you realize it. Okay, did you suggest getting on these pills to the doctor or did the doctor suggest you getting on them?

'''Chris:''' Uh… Alright, let me think back to that day, that day. That was like… I don’t know, that was like about a year-about months to a year ago. Something like that.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, months to a year ago is a long… big difference. Big difference.

'''Chris:''' I mean when I-when I started on that and then I talked to my doctor… Hmm… Yeah, I was just… uh, okay, yeah. He was encouraging me for exercise and I was doing that and not eat so much high cholesterol-type foods and I have not been eating that much, so that… By the way…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Chris, you do eat high-cholesterol foods! Everything you told me has high cholesterol. And sodium. Sodium plays a part in it too. I mean, that’s all you eat.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but it’s also, she mentioned, sometimes I’ve been getting up at-by twelve o’clock and I eat like two meals in a day.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you only eat two meals a day or you eat two meals at once? Cause I’m pretty sure your portion control is horrible too.

'''Chris:''' Two meals in one day.

'''Kacey:''' That’s- that’s bad. You’re supposed to have, like, five little meals. That’s gonna kill your metabolism too. I mean, that’s one of the problems I have is that I don’t eat enough. Um, but the problem is that, if you eat two meals a day, those meals are able to do the amount of calories you need, that’s just bad.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I see. Hmm, that’s a lot for me to think about.

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Okay, okay, like with portions do you actually know how much a portion of meat is?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, a portion… I do not.

'''Kacey:''' It’s about as big as a deck of cards. You should- [Chris interrupts: “Oh.”] -probably be eating about three to eight ounces.

'''Chris:''' Oh, okay. Three oun- three to eight- three to eight ounces of meat in a day?

'''Kacey:''' No, no, no. For a portion.

'''Chris:''' Oh, for proportion… per portion in a day? I mean, I’m just trying to make sure I understand this here. [pause]

'''Kacey:''' Um, Chris. Are you there?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’m here.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, okay. Never mind. I can hear you now. Sorry, my phone’s being weird. It’s like on a delay.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Kacey:''' But, no, no. Like, a deck of cards, that’s about the size of… Well, you know, that’s just an example. You can look these things up. You know, the internet’s a great tool for that.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' But, I mean, you know… Okay, what would you say you eat the most? Like, what food group would you say you eat the most?

'''Chris:''' I would say that I would eat vegetables the most.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, h-how are you going to eat vegetables the most if what you tell me is that your diet mostly consists of Hungry Man dinners and McDonald’s and Wendy’s?

'''Chris:''' Well, firstly, I have not eaten a Hungry Man in like… over a month. I can honestly say that. I can also say that…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Okay, what vegetables have you eaten this week?

'''Chris:''' I have eaten lettuce and tomato and carrots…

'''Kacey:''' You do know that lettuce has almost no nutritional value, right? You should be eating field grains or romaine lettuce.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I’m sorry. What was that? Uh, something about…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Lettuce has no nu- yeah- lettuce has no nutritional value. If you’re going to eat it, it’s just roughage. If you’re going to eat it, you should eat mixed field greens or romaine lettuce.

'''Chris:''' Oh, mixed field greens. That’s what you said. Mixed field greens. Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, so basically, what you’re saying is you just eat some salads that are just thrown together. Y-you do know that that’s not necessarily healthy, right? Cause even vegetables and fruits in excess can be bad for you, because they have carbs and sugar.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [pause] I see. I did not realize that. Oh, by the way I didn’t- by the way I was checking my email- I check my email twice a day and I did not receive the email with the… uh… links to the [unintelligible] with the recipes and all the stuff we talked about last night.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, well, I-I’ll resend them. I guess my email’s having problems. Um, I’ll look into that.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' But-But still, I mean, you know everything needs to be in moderation. Even things you think are healthy. Okay, tell me what you ate today. W-We’ll just start with that. What have you eaten today?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I ate two side-salads from [[Burger King]] and I had a grilled chicken sandwich.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, so you’re still eating unhealthy.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I’m still eating unhealthy?

'''Kacey:''' Yes, okay. You ate at Burger King. Right there, that should be your red flag. Nothing they have, even their salads, are healthy. Nothing. The healthiest thing they can give you is water.

'''Chris:''' I have drank plenty of water today. I drank, like, five glasses so far.

'''Kacey:''' That’s not even enough [skip] you should be drinking in a day.

'''Chris:''' I know, I should be drinking, like, eight eight-ounce glasses or equivalent. [pause] Well you know, I might have miscounted. I was drinking from a sixteen-ounce bottle and I refilled it about…

'''Kacey:''' Is the water very cold?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s cold water. We keep- we- we… uh… keep- have, like, bottles of water put in the fridge. [[Barb|My mom]] prefers the bottled water over the tap water.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, cause- when you drink bottled water you should always make sure it’s really cold, because even though it doesn’t help a lot, it helps a little, but your body has to warm up after you drink it and it does help with some calories. Not a lot though, but you should keep hydrated.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. That’s good then. Yeah, that’s good. But, anyway, yeah, our- the water I’ve drank today, it’s been cold.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, that’s good. That’s good. But, I mean, so all you’ve had today is a salad and a chicken sandwich?That’s it?

'''Chris:''' And water, yes.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That’s okay. Um, you need to get a better eating plan. I mean, I do too. So I mean, I’m right there with you, but of course I don’t eat fast food either. But, you really… I mean, okay. Is the reason you eat at Burger King because it’s convenient?

'''Chris:''' Uh, that and my parents, my mom and [[Bob|dad]], are pretty much going there more often.

'''Kacey:''' Why don’t you guys have fresh food in the house?

'''Chris:''' We have food in the house, but yeah, [[14 Branchland Court|our house]] is such a mess. It’s been a mess for a long time, ever since I had to take furniture out of the living room to put up into the kitchen, just like I put up a [[Christmas]] tree. That was pretty much the beginning of all that. And then I had [mumble] to take the tree down...

'''Kacey:''' Okay Chris, your house can’t be so bad that you can’t have food in your fridge.

'''Chris:''' I mean, yeah, we do have food in- we have, like- we have three refrigerators. Two downstairs, one upstairs and they all have food- and they all have food in them.

'''Kacey:''' Why do you have three refrigerators?

'''Chris:''' (Offended/stressed) I don’t know why my mom and dad needed two refrigerators downstairs, but we got another one upstairs.

'''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, okay. Okay then. Um, what- okay. Then is you have food in those fridges, why don’t you guys cook. Why don’t you guys make dinner? I mean, or even, you know…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my father- my father does most of the home cooking, really at this point. Uh, and…

'''Kacey:''' Okay, well what types of things does he cook? Like, what’s the last time he… What did he make the last time he cooked?

'''Chris:''' He makes a- he makes a- he makes some pretty good soups… and stews. Sometimes pasta.

'''Kacey:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' You know you’re wel- you know you’re welcome to call him at any time on the home phone and talk to him- introduce yourself to him and talk to him any time you want to.

'''Kacey:''' I thought you told me to wait, like you didn’t want me to talk to him yet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, wait. Yeah, that’s right. I did tell you to wait. Yeah, wait ‘til maybe around Thursday or Friday. Yeah, cause last week I told you about that. Almost a week ago, now.

'''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, you just remind me that and we’ll go from there.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' But, um. But, yeah, your eating habits really need some reform. I mean, has your doctor talked to you about your life expectancy?

'''Chris:''' Uhhhhh… my doc- I cannot…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Do you even know what a life expectancy is?

'''Chris:''' I-I do have an understanding of what life expendancy is. It’s a rough estimate of how once- how long a person’s going to live.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, I’m impressed. Um… but have they talked to you about that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my doctor has not talk- has not talked to me about my life expendancy.

'''Kacey:''' Mmkay.

'''Chris:''' So, I have no idea about that.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, well… um… Okay, what… Since you mentioned I talked to Kim… um… yeah, I talked to her, cause like, one of the things I first noticed is the way you carry yourself, and it looks like you’re putting a lot of weight on your joints, especially your elbows and your knees, and that could be bad. Like… um… like, are you stretching them. Uh, cause you need to for your ligaments.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do stretch. I stretch my arms out and they…

'''Kacey:''' Okay, what type- what type of stretches do you do?

'''Chris:''' Uh, basic stretches, you know. Yeah, like knee-bends, I’ve done those. I’ve done- I do those. And arm stretches. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, I mean, are you doing any kinds of resistance stretches, like putting your palm against a wall and stretching your arms straight out and then pushing?

'''Chris:''' Wait. Putting my arm against my ball?

'''Kacey:''' A wall, Chris! A wall! [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Oh! Oh, oh. You mean like you’re pushing something. Uh, no, I have not thought about that.

'''Kacey:''' Well, cause I mean, the stretching that you’re probably thinking of are not stretches you need to do. Like, when you stretch, you need to have some sort of resistance, so you can feel a stretch, and that lets you know that you are exercising your ligaments and that they’re gonna stay healthy, because that’s your bone to bone and that’s what you need to have.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [pause]

'''Kacey:''' Like, if you can’t feel that stretch, that- that’s not good. I mean, maybe you should get, like, a gym membership. Like, your doctor can help you fill out some paperwork for a discount.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… my doctor can help me get a discount at a gym membership?

'''Kacey:''' If you medically need it, your doctor can help you with a lot of things.

'''Chris:''' Aren’t you… Yeah, I-I-I’ll definitely bring that up with [[Doctor McGovern]] when- the next time I talk to him.

'''Kacey:''' Alright, that’s good.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' But, I mean, like, the way you carry your arms just shows that you have a limited range of motion and that worries me, cause you know, I want you to be healthy.

'''Chris:''' Carry my arms around?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I-I’ll have to show you sometime. The way you hold them, it’s like… I-I’d have to just show you. But, it shows that you have a limited range of motion and… um… you could probably… um… do fairly well with a lot of better stretching.

'''Chris:''' Um… I think I was…

'''Kacey:''' Like, like, you can just put your arms in a praying position, so you have your palms to your palms, and hold your arms… um… across from you and that’s actually a great way to stretch, and it helps your elbow and your wrist.

'''Chris:''' Huh. I keep my praying hands vertical while my arms are horizontal?

'''Kacey:''' Um… no, no. You just wanna… you wanna put your hands together like you’re praying in front of you, and…

'''Chris:''' Uh-huh.

'''Kacey:''' …you wanna keep your arms straight, so that… um… they’re just going right out in front of you. Like y-you want them to be perpendicular to your body. You want… okay?

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I can visualize that. Yeah, I under- I’m- I’m understanding you.

'''Kacey:''' Okay. But, yeah. You could totally benefit from that, cause you know, I want you to be healthy. Um… yeah. So we definitely have to find a time where we can go jogging, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, sure. Next time… uh… next time you get the chance to, you know, come visit, yeah. I’d be happy to go jogging with you.

'''Kacey:''' That would be awesome. We should totally do it.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Kacey:''' A nice, five-mile jog, right? We gotta get those… uh… beats-per-minute up.

'''Chris:''' Waitaminute waitaminute. Five miles?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Five miles is really easy. That’s like, beginner stuff. Well, if you want, we can do 2.5 miles, but, you know, that’s really beginning stuff. If you can’t do that... you need… that-that’s not good. At all.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. It’s just that, you know, five miles, yeah, that does sound like a exaggeration in my head at this point.

'''Kacey:''' I-It’s only five miles. It’s not like I’m asking you to run a marathon. And it’s not like we’d be sprinting, we’d just be, like, doing nice, easy… jogging. Just…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. And Kim suggested that I get a [[muscle bra|sports bra]], because you know… I just know that, you know… if I’m gonna start jogging, I’m gonna feel… I’m gonna feel my [[manboobs]] bounce.

'''Kacey:''' Well, this is why you’re doing it, to get rid of them. I mean, just where a jacket on top or an extra shirt. There should be no problem. I mean, as long as you… I mean… no one’s gonna care, really. [laughs] I mean, who do you think goes out jogging? People who need to lose weight. You’re not gonna be the only one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Would you recommend I where a sports bra? Because, Kim’s recommending me- recommending at this point.

'''Kacey:''' They-they make… Okay, yes. You should.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, if you are really that worried, those will keep them down and you probably should go out and get one soon.

'''Chris:''' Uh… I’m sorry. What was that last statement?

'''Kacey:''' Y-you should go out and get one soon if you want, cause I mean, if you’re really worried about five miles, then you should go practice without me.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' And then that way, when I’m there, you can be ready.

'''Chris:''' Alright, yeah. Um, let me ask you though… uh… when I go shopping for a sports bra… I’m going to get my [[tugboat]] later this week so, I’ll probably like… uh… do you recommend I go to [skip] [[Wal-Mart]] or a store at the mall or, w-what questions do you recommend I ask for when I go shopping for a sports bra, when I’m being assisted? Like… you know… because… you know…

'''Kacey:''' Well, you don’t need to be assisted. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Most of them are in Small, Medium, Large, and Extra-Large sizes, so you just get one that fits. Or you could go to, like, a Sports Authority or some type of sports store and they have them. But, I mean, t-the sizes aren’t complicated. It’s not like a real bra-size. [pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I can see that, yeah. [pause] Mmm… [makes clock-like ticking sound?] Alright. Okay. Well, let me ask you from your point of view… I mean, you’ve seen me in person. Umm… Would you say I’m like- would you say I’m like a Medium, Large, or Extra-Large, cause I’m no- I can tell you… I’m pretty sure I’m not a small.

'''Kacey:''' Umm… Well, grab the Large and the Extra-Large and try them both on and just see whichever one fits.

'''Chris:''' Ah, okay. So, your saying I’m- I’m pretty much a Large at best. [chuckles] Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, i-if… What I’m saying is: if you’re really trying to also get into, like, a sports bra or something, they’re gonna be designed for women, unless you can find the ones that are designed for men. I mean, there are gym things for that, that are designed for men, but you’d have to go to, like, a sports store or something. So, I-I mean, just… I’d always try a bigger size first, cause it’s easier to go down than it is to go up. So… uh… [Chris chuckles again] Try… You have a Dick’s Sporting Goods near you, right? Try there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, OK. I’ll try there.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, what- okay. Like, the shirts you wore when you met me, what sizes are those?

'''Chris:''' Umm…

'''Kacey:''' Like, what size is your striped shirt?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. I think that- I think that was… oh, wait a minute. I have it right in front of me. [[Chris and fashion|My favorite striped shirt.]] Um… um… Yeah, I see the L. I… uh… think it’s an XL though, because it seems like the X is worn out. Yeah, so… uh… that- that’s an XL right there.

'''Kacey:''' Y-you say it’s an Extra-Large. Cause, I mean, it seemed a bit… uh… snug on you last time I saw you, so um…

'''Chris:''' Hmm…

'''Kacey:''' Maybe, you’re, like, a two-X or a three-X.

'''Chris:''' [groans] That sounds like a- [groans again]

'''Kacey:''' T-there’s- That’s not bad. I mean, it really isn’t. But, I mean…

'''Chris:''' I mean, it just- it just sounds- it just sounds bad. I don’t know. Uh…

'''Kacey:''' No it doesn’t. I mean, you can’t let those things have power over you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Yeah. I shouldn’t let ‘em have power over me. Umm… Hang on a second. I’m wearing a- I’m currently wearing a bit looser fitting than…

'''Kacey:''' Okay. Yeah, let’s see the size.

'''Chris:''' [grunts while taking shirt off] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This one says XL.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, well- well then I-I would start there. I would start with Extra-Larges.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Are they making a Double-XL and a Triple-XL sports bra?

'''Kacey:''' Yes!

'''Chris:''' Wow.

'''Kacey:''' I-I mean… you know… girls have… breasts, you know. [chuckles] I mean, even if a girl is really skinny, but she has… they’re large, she’s not gonna fit into a small. I mean, come on, Chris.

'''Chris:''' [loud, high-pitched laughter] Yeah, you’re right! You’re right. It’s just- I’m sorry. It just caught me off guard cause [[Tomgirl|I’m a guy]]. And then… I don’t know… If I were, like, a bigger guy. Heh. Yeah, they were originally meant for women, but then guys caught on. Yeah. Okay. [little laugh] Yeah, I’m cool.

'''Kacey:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Kacey:''' So… um… anything on your mind besides that?

'''Chris:''' Um… yeah, okay. I could say a little bit… Okay, I talked to my father today about, like you know, writing up the list of questions he was gonna suggest for going to see Soc-[trips over words] see [[tugboat|Social Security]] people about the job and the housing and all that.

'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' But, he was like: “Oh no,we’re…” uh… “Oh no, I’m planning to go- on going down there with you tomorrow afternoon.” So… yeah…

'''Kacey:''' Maybe your father doesn’t have any faith in you. Maybe he thinks you’re gonna mess it up, but you know what, you should tell him, “Look, Dad, I know you want everything to go well, but it’s gonna look better on me if I do this.” Like, if he wants to take you, that’s fine. Like, if he wants to drive. But, they’re not gonna take you seriously if you have your father there, because they’re gonna be like, “Why are you even bothering?”

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I think I… uh… I might be underselling myself a little bit anyway, but… um… Yeah, I wouldn’t even be sure… I’m not… I just don’t feel like, you know… E-even with the bas- even with the basic questions that we have talked about before, I feel like, you know, they could be more questions that are, like, more appropriate. And plus, my father has proven himself to be… uh… proven himself to be more… m-more of… uh… you know, definitely going down to getting the nitty-gritty of the details and…

'''Kacey:''' But still, if you let him talk all the time and not you, they’re gonna think he’s doing this for money. They’re not gonna take you seriously. They’re gonna think you’re trying to abuse the system. And you don’t want that, do you?

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I do not want that. Uh, [mumbles] I-I can do most of the talking. Cause it’s mostly- It’s mo- It’s my thing. I can do most of the talking.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, they’re gonna be talking to you. They’re not even gonna want to talk to your father. Your father has nothing to do with it. You’re twenty-seven. I mean if they’re gonna ta- If they’re talking to him and not you, then they totally see you as absolutely disabled, and there’s no point in doing it anyway. They’re gonna want to talk to you. They’re not… They’re gonna be asking you questions. They’re not gonna talk to him. The most they would talk to him about is if he’s your caregiver.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] And you want to be more able-bodied than that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do. I do want to be more able-bodied than that. [pause] I do.

'''Kacey:''' That’s good. That’s a good attitude to have.

'''Chris:''' Mmmmm… yeah. So, anyway, I’m goin’ down- I’m goin’ down there… You know, I guess my father will be down there for support. Yeah, I’ll do most of the talking and… I’ll try to ask as many- I’ll ask as many questions as I can think of…

'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' You know, try to keep him just in the background or just, like, you know… I don’t know… a piece of decoration? [laughs]

'''Kacey:''' What?

'''Chris:''' I-I don’t know. It’s just… just being a… I said- I said “decoration.”

'''Kacey:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' You know. A-Anyway, you know, I’ll do- I’ll do most of the talking. I’ll ask as many questions as I can think of, and if I run short on questions, then I’m pretty sure that… uh… he’ll fill up the void. I mean, you give me- you have given me- you and Kim have both given me plenty of information, so it’s like, you know, so I can at least have a start of what I’m look- of what I’m looking for to find more information of like the work ticket or the… uh… trial period.

'''Kacey:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' And then…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] And remember, you can get an extended trial period, so don’t let them sell you short.

'''Chris:''' Okay, extended trial period. Okay, and then about… uh… them vouching for my housing benefits- Oh, by the way, I- my mom told me further about the… uh… financial aid situation back in the beginning of my [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont]] days.

'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s like… yeah, we… they have… uh… there actually was a point in that, even during the [[stress]]… they actually tried… tried applying for the… we actually tried applying for the financial aid, but it was like, you know, we had more money… it was like, we had more money back then and we just did not qualify. We had more money then than we do nowadays.

'''Kacey:''' But, it goes off of income, so were they working?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they were… my mom was working over at First North American National Bank back then. Then she retired a few years later.

'''Kacey:''' Your mom had to be working a lot for you to not even get student loans. I can’t see a reason you wouldn’t qualify, unless there was something wrong with the taxes or something like they weren’t being done correctly.

'''Chris:''' Well… yeah, there might… yep, probably, but I don’t know… I was… I was…

'''Kacey:''' Probably? I hope not. That’s tax fraud. You can get in so much trouble for that.

'''Chris:''' I don’t know all… I don’t claim to know all the information, I’m just… right now, I’m just going along with…

'''Kacey:''' That’s really weird though, because even if you couldn’t get financial aid, you should have been able to get student loans.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Kacey:''' Like, the government ones. You should have at least gotten something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but… yeah, I think it’s just between the financial aid forms… student loans… yeah, we’ve…

'''Kacey:''' Maybe your parents just didn’t want to do them and that’s why they told you that. Cause that’s really strange, cause I mean… it… your mom would have had to be making sooooo so much money for you not to qualify.

'''Chris:''' [sighs] Well, I don’t know all the details. That was like over… that was about nine years ag… nine years ago. So, yeah, I can’t remember… I don’t remember all those details. They just kinda like, flew by, cause I was still in the midst of confusion , still recovering from a bad… from a bad [[graduation]]… and uhh… and the whole going to college, getting… starting getting used to that. It was stre- It was- those were stressful times.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean… that’s adulthood. W-what did you think being an adult was gonna be? I-it’s never gonna get better.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and plus… a-also, I was eighteen.

'''Kacey:''' Yep. T-that would be an adult.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean… yeah. You know, there are some… there are some places where it’s like, you know, they feel like fifteen, you’re an adult then. Some places say that.

'''Kacey:''' No. No. Where is that? [chuckles]

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I’m-I’m just…

'''Kacey:''' In America, that’s not true. [chuckles]

'''Chris:''' I mean-I mean, when I turned twenty-one, I definitely felt more like an adult, after I turned twenty-one, than I- than I did when I was eighteen, at any time.

'''Kacey:''' Well, just because you are an adult, doesn’t mean you feel like one. We’ve… discussed this before. But, seriously, where-where are people of age at sixteen? Where did you hear that from?

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah. I was looking up… a while back I was looking up, like you know, “age of consent” and…

'''Kacey:''' Age of consent is not an adult thing, Chris!

'''Chris:''' Well…

'''Kacey:''' You’re still not an adult with age of consent. Age of consent is bullshit. If you’re under eighteen, people who are older than eighteen have no right to be with you or touching you or anything like that. You’re not mature enough.

'''Chris:''' [chuckles]

'''Kacey:''' Why were you looking up “age of consent?”

'''Chris:''' I don’t know. I was just making sure that… I-I don’t remember… ahh… Let me think. Let me think… mmm…

'''Kacey:''' Chris, that’s wrong! You…

'''Chris:''' [mutters incoherently]

'''Kacey:''' You weren’t… eighteen and trying to date a sixteen-year-old, were you?

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. I mean… but also, like, you know, in some states they don’t even say anything that’s like a few- a year or two over that… that would be the legal age of consent for that state. But, yeah, it was eighteen for [[Virginia]] and that’s what I wanted to learn anyway.

'''Kacey:''' So, since you think it’s okay, would you date a sixteen-year-old?

'''Chris:''' No. I would not date a sixteen-year-old.

'''Kacey:''' Then why were you looking up these laws?

'''Chris:''' I was looking up just for the state of Virginia and then I just happened to see all the other states along with it.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean… even right now, an eighteen-year-old would be too young for you.

'''Chris:''' At this point, yeah. An eighteen-year-old would be too young for me. I agree with you. [pause] I mean- I mean, I was- I was also in my early days when… I think this was like… yeah… looking that up, that was a few years ago, like… mid-[[sweetheart search]] at this point.

'''Kacey:''' Wait, so-so you were considering a- you know, someone’s “age-of-consent.” Chris, that’s… that’s [[pedofork|pedophilia]].

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was never considering sixteen, I swear, hand to God.

'''Kacey:''' Then why would you even be looking it up?

'''Chris:''' I was just… I was… I was just looking it up for Virginia, making sure eighteen was the age of consent.

'''Kacey:''' Eighteen is when you’re an adult. Age of consent has nothing to do with being an adult, like I said. Well, look, look. Like, how young would you go right now? What is [Chris sighs in the background] your ideal girlfriend a-age range?

'''Chris:''' Right now, my youngest right now- the youngest I would date would be twenty-one.

'''Kacey:''' That’s six years apart. Don’t you think that’s… I mean, I guess it could be worse, but don’t you want someone more… your speed?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I don’t know what I want. I’m still a [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. I’m still learning.

'''Kacey:''' Dating does not equal sex. Just cause you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you can’t think of who you want to date. Are you serious? Do you think dating means you get to have sex?

'''Chris:''' Eventually. I’ve heard the- I’ve heard the rule of thumb though is, you know, like, after [[third date|date number three]], then…

'''Kacey:''' WHAT?! What?!

'''Chris:''' [unintelligible]…heard it on [[television]].

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] You think, because a girl goes out with you three times she should have sex with you, like she’s obligated to? That’s… what… no-oo-oo! [breaks into laughter] If somebody did that to me, I’d smack them, and I’d call them a pervert. You have sex when you’re emotionally ready. That’s horrible. No, get that out of your head.

'''Chris:''' Okay, I’ll get that out of my head, but I’m just sayin’, that’s what I learned from television.

'''Kacey:''' You could have relationships and never have sex. You know that, right? Besides, you shouldn’t have sex until you know that… you could… I-I mean, you’ve gotta be sure about that person.

'''Chris:''' Yeah,I know. I’ve understoo- I understood that part.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, don’t you wanna love someone first?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, where’d you get that from, like, TV or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I told- yeah, I told ya… yeah, television. I’ve heard a lot of it from television, movies, whatever. That sort of thing.

'''Kacey:''' Like, which shows? Which television shows?

'''Chris:''' [noticeably frustrated] I… I don’t remember. I don’t remember. It was like- it was like comedies- you know, com-comedies or something like that.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, cause that should tell you: it’s a comedy. Comedies aren’t real. They’re meant to be funny an ironic. I-I can’t believe you thought that. So… ugh… Chris, what… no! [small chuckles] That-that’s just disrespectful to girls too. I mean… they don’t owe you anything, just cause you went on a date with them. You’re supposed to be there because you enjoy the pleasure of their company, and because you like them. Not because you think on the third date you’re gonna get some. Do you think about that? Do you… think about me like that?

'''Chris:''' No. I do not think of you like that. [pause]

'''Kacey:''' [sighs]

'''Chris:''' I mean, you definitely are genuine, you are sweet. I definitely would like to… b-be with you m-more often. But, it’s like, you know, I would not ask you unless you- unless you felt ready to.

'''Kacey:''' Still… Chris… you’re lying to me. You just told me that, it’s the third date and then… bam.

'''Chris:''' Eh, no. It was an idea. It was just a theory, and you know, theories are…

'''Kacey:''' That’s not a theory! [breaks into laughter] That’s a horrible theory!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it is a horrible theory.

'''Kacey:''' I mean- I mean- but, you need to stop equating relationships with sex. Sex is sex. Relationships are… not. You can have sex without a relationship. You can have a relationship without sex. But, I mean, I really wouldn’t recommend the one-night-stand, sex-without-relationship thing, but, I mean… most people wait, like, a long time. Like, months time, or until they get married. [pause]

'''Chris:''' Waiting. Yeah. You know what- you know, these things bring up to my mind… you know… the fact that I’ve waited… I’ve been… it’s been like… over… it’s been, like, over six years now that I started the sweetheart search and, you know, even though…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Well, you shouldn’t search for it, cause you know, when you’re not looking for things, things happen to fall into your lap like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeach, but the point is though, I waited a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you know that God wants you to wait until you’re married? I mean, do you ever think about that? I mean, I think girls would find that admirable, if you were gonna wait ‘til marriage.

'''Chris:''' [sighs] Yeah, but it hurts.

'''Kacey:''' I-I-I… why would it hurt? I mean, you can have a relationship and companionship without sex. You don’t need sex. Sex is not going to make you feel better. If you are looking for sex to fill an emotional hole in yourself, you’re gonna be sorely disappointed. I-it’s just gonna make you feel worse.

'''Chris:''' Mmm… [pause]

'''Kacey:''' I mean, if all you want is that physical rush, just do it yourself.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I’ve done it to... I-I’ve actually done it to myself so many… so many times, even with a… even with a hunk of… even with an [[Kimmi|inflatable, plastic wom…wom]]…

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa! T-M-I! T-M-I!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Yeah, but anyway, [[Mass debating|I’ve done it so much]], it’s like, you know… I can’t even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that.

'''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that… is… part of your sexual drive. I mean, you should feel pleasure from it.

'''Chris:''' I did for a long time and then… I don’t know. It’s like, you know, my body got used to it.

'''Kacey:''' So you feel nothing now?

'''Chris:''' No, I- No, I do- I do feel it, like you know, when I’m near a woman, I definitely feel it then. And sometimes…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] “Near a woman?” I thought you were a virgin.

'''Chris:''' [clearly frustrated] I am a virgin! I’ve never had sex!

'''Kacey:''' Okay then, what-what do you mean by “near a woman?” I mean, obviously, I don’t think you mean you do that near… a woman.

'''Chris:''' No, no, no. I meant- I meant- [stutters “I meant” several more times] Oh, oh crap! [yelling] I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore! [exhales]

'''Kacey:''' Okay, just calm down. I mean, don’t raise your voiced at me. [chuckles] We should be adults and be able to have a civil conversation about this.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean… I gave you respect though. I moved the phone away from my head when I shouted.

'''Kacey:''' I appreciate it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but I’m just sayin’, I just felt- I just felt under pressure. And considering the social anxi- considering the socialness and…

'''Kacey:''' Well, I thought you were comfortable with me.

'''Chris:''' I am comfortable with you, but I’m just sayin’, like you know during a long time where I didn’t- where it was just me and I was just lurching toward a woman[?] or any woman who was willing to give…

'''Kacey:''' I think maybe you’re holding that to a standard that you’re never gonna be able to accomplish, like… I think that you’re holding it to a standard to where, if you actually get it, you’re going to be disappointed. I-I mean, y-you need to lower the bar a little bit. I mean, maybe you need some friends. Maybe you just need to get out there more. Maybe join a singles’ group or something.

'''Chris:''' I-I’m not even sure if- I’m not even sure if that would be good for me, or waitaminute… Maybe I messed up. I don’t know. [pause] [[slow-in-the-mind|I feel confused]].

'''Kacey:''' Well, you know, being confused is nothing to be ashamed of.

'''Chris:''' [sighs] Yeah, stress and confusion are a bad combination.

'''Kacey:''' I guess, but you need to be able to keep them in check and to get through them. That’s part of being an adult is pushing through everything, cause you’re gonna be stressed, you’re gonna be confused. It’s gonna happen, but what’s gonna matter is what you do to push through that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause]

'''Kacey:''' But, I mean yeah, like sex isn’t going… to… solve all your problems. It’s just not. It’s not gonna make everything magically better. In fact, sex opens so many doors, it can cause problems, especially emotional problems. I mean, cause then you’re… that’s as involved as you can get with somebody and if you’re not ready for it, it’s going to cause a lot of shit. Like, don’t you think I wish I had waited now? I mean, look at everything that’s happened to me. I wish I waited.

'''Chris:''' Well, you know, I’ve heard… uh… I’ve heard in places where… you know, if you… I’m sure if you talk to your church- your pastor at your church… uh… I think there’s…

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Chris. Chris. I know you’re talking about Born Again Virgins. That’s a load of bullshit. That’s- that’s trendy teen shit that they do to make you feel better, but it doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve done it. I’m sorry. You’re gonna have to keep that between you and God. But, I mean, just because…

'''Chris:''' Okay, it’s just, I heard that on television is all. I remember hearing it on an episode of [[Adult Swim#King of the Hill|King of the Hill]]. I’m just throwing it out there.

'''Kacey:''' Once again, Chris, that’s a comedy a TV… you can’t… they were fun of it. They were making fun of people who think Born Again Virgins really makes them pure. No. You still did it. That’s still your mistake and you’re gonna have those emotional scars all your life… or the memories, even. I mean… it doesn’t… make you… anything. You’re still you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, if you’re not having fun, even, you know, doing it yourself, maybe sex isn’t for you right now. Maybe you just need companionship. I think you’re confusing sex with companionship.

'''Chris:''' Ugh… so many things I’m confusing. You know, [unintelligible] I used to confuse Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, that’s weird, but I don’t know what that has to do with this situation. You shouldn’t keep changing the subject like that.

'''Chris:''' I know. I’m just saying, you know, talking about confusion. I’m just saying, I’ve confused things before.

'''Kacey:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Confused people before.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but that’s a little… that’s a little different than this. This is confusing… um… terms and… ideas, like… I-I don’t know. Just- I think what you need is companionship and friends. I mean, your putting sex on this pedestal and people who do that get sorely disappointed. And, I mean, what happens if you do it and then you- you regret it? Y-you should definitely wait until you find someone that you know. That you absolutely know. And it’s not gonna be on the third date. [pause]

'''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, you’ve even said it’s not fun. I mean, maybe deep down, what you want isn’t sexual-type fun, just, you know, being with other people.

'''Chris:''' Uh… let me rewind- let me rewind on that topic. Um… actually, lately I have rea- I have been actually been able to enjoy it… you know, [[mass debating|masturbation]]. I’ve actually been able to enjoy it, because you know, I’ve actually had a girl to put in my head… in my head to fantasize doin’ that with. For a long time I have been doin’ it, you know, where I did not have a woman to fantasize that with. And then eventu- and then eventually that wind out to be no fun. And then… and actually, you know… uh… yeah. Then-then I start talking to [[trolls|girls on the internet]]. And then, you know, from the pictures they sent me, that starts to get a little more fun and then they wind out. Then I got no fun and it was like a yo-yo thing.

'''Kacey:''' Maybe that’s your body’s way of saying that you’re just being lustful, and that that’s why it stops being fun, because there’s no emotional… there’s nothing emotional about it. Like, sex should just be physical. It should be emotional and physical.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but I actually did feel emotions for those girls… b-before they left me or I found out they were trolls.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I-I can’t help you with that. You’ve gotta be more careful with that. But, I mean…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ve learned from- I’ve learned from my past. I’ve learned from my mistakes.

'''Kacey:''' But, I mean- I mean, if I guess you do it now, if you have someone you think of now, are you emotionally attached to that person?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can honestly say I do feel emotionally attached.

'''Kacey:''' Okay. [pause] Well, maybe you should concentrate on being that person’s… friend… and, you know, getting to know them.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, you can’t just go straight to that. I mean, I happy it’s working out for you. That’s good. That’s a good sign. But, it shouldn’t be all about that.

'''Chris:''' I understand, and I will con- and I will continue to think about… yeah. Maintaining friendship, and then let it all come.

'''Kacey:''' But, what happens if it never comes?

'''Chris:''' Then I guess it just doesn’t. I mean, it just- that depends upon… uh… my friend, who’s been like an angel to me feels at that time. [pause]

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean- I mean, that’s it, but I mean, you’ve gotta be prepared. I mean… I don’t know. Just, you know. Just, this isn’t the way to go about it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I hear you. [pause] I hear you and I appreciate it- I appreciate it all.

'''Kacey:''' [chuckles] You’re welcome.

'''Chris:''' The guidance.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I just want what’s best for you.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, you’re a great friend and I hope nothing changes.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… hmm… yeah, thank you. You have been like an angel to me.

'''Kacey:''' Um… okay. Uh… cool. [chuckles] Um…

'''Chris:''' I mean, your guidance and all, it’s just like, you know, yeah. It’s like that what a guardian angel would… g-guide you through.

'''Kacey:''' Well- well, that’s gonna be my job. I’m gonna be a nurse. I’m gonna be helping people. So, you know, that’s just what I do. I would do it for anyone.

'''Chris:''' [dejected] That’s good. Mmm…

'''Kacey:''' Well, anyway, it’s getting late, and I have school, so… um… why don’t I let you go, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow?

'''Chris:''' Okay, you’ll send me the email with the links to all the recipes and all that?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I’ll try to redo it. If not, I‘ll do it after school tomorrow.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Uh… talk to you later… Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, talk to you later, Chris. Bye!

'''Chris:''' Bye-bye.

'''[CALL ENDS]'''

==External links==
[http://www.4shared.com/mp3/F61jxxuIce/Kacey_Call_07.html MP3 Phone Call]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 6]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 8]]}}

{{FanChats}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kacey Call 07}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Christian's Update 13 September 2008

2026-05-08T23:45:07Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Christian's Update 13 September 2008''' (officially '''Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008''') is an update video [[Chris]] uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 13 [[September 2008]].

Recovering from the [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|uploading of his nude photos on ED]], Chris insists that [[Blanca]] is real, and therefore was not responsible for tricking him. (He is, of course, half right. The [[troll]] who leaked the nudes wasn't Blanca, but Blanca was still, in fact, a troll.)

Chris goes on to inform his [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] of bootleg ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' merchandise sold by [[Jimmy Hill]], and calls for a boycott. He also gives an update on the progress of the [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' video game]], as the project is currently on hold due to [[JK Productions]] being another group of trolls playing a prank on him. Chris reiterates his call for all Sonichu fans to pressure [[Miyamoto|Nintendo]] and Sega to work with Chris to make the ''Sonichu'' game.

Chris [[Speech impediment|stutters all over the place]] in this video, making his words and phrases very hard to understand. Also, at the very end, Chris's cell phone is heard ringing with a MIDI version of [[Britney Spears]]' "[[Feel So Lonesome|(You Drive Me) Crazy]]" as its ringtone.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008
| ytid = JoTNBMcqDnY
| stardate = 13 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}; {{Rumors|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Blanca|text}}; {{Hill|text}}
| shirt = {{JerkopShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chando Sings!]]
| next = [[Chris_Chan_Update_24_September_2008#Video|Chris Chan Update September 24, 2008]]
}}

{{quote|Blanca’s real. I talked to her.}}

=== Transcript ===

September 13, [[2008]]. Update.

Eh, y'know, I've gotten over the mess! It's all settled now.

[[Blanca]]’s real. I talked to her. [''his eyes briefly widen to the proportions of a caricature of a psychotic''] Yeah, she called me. So, as for the, uh, person who--as for the [[jerk]] who, uh, posed...with the, a--“KawaiiKitsune” name? If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in the bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose...''' the whereabouts of the...''jerk''...and just happens to be nearby, or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.

Anyway, as for--anyway, I'm happy now. I'm happy. So, uh, thank y'all for your emotional support, those of y'all who sent me e-mails and messages. Alright. So, onto, uh, other pressing issues. Yeah.

The--first off, the, uh, toys in the UK: they're definitely, uh, fake. I have never approved any merchandise or distribution of such [''pronounces this like “search”''] merchandise yet. So, therefore, the advertisements of such, uh, Sonichu merchandise...in the UK? All fake. Uhhh...possibly, this guy named, uh... “[[Jimmy Hill|Jerry... ''Hill'']]” I think his name was? But...I mean, uh, that's, uh, from a suggestion from--uh, from--uh, that's a name I got from--uh, one of--from--uh, one- from one of my fans.

Yeah. So, uh, you know, his initials are “JH”. If y--I'm sure y'all have heard about him, uh... the g--the--uh, the g--the, uh, person who told me about, uh, this-- told me about, uh, “JH”... also, apparently, sold fake stuff for Warner Bros., and, uh, they sued him...and they ''arrested'' him, so, apparently...he ''could'' be the one that's, uh...trying to make a...f--f--fast buck off of...fake merchandise. Alright.

So, uh, anyway...boycott th--buying such--buying those-- buyin’ the merchandise from the UK...buying ''any'' merchandise from there. Boycott it! Don't do it.

As for the, uh, game--uh, as for the, uh, video game...yeah, that's, uh, tempor--that’s temporary on pause, because apparently, “JK Productions”...they were a fake company, as I received an e-mail from the, uh, prankster behind that--behind that, uh...pull of the leg. Him confessing. So, uh, anyway, it's temporary on pause, so...all my fans: talk to Nin--t--tend--talk to [[Nintendo]]. Talk to Sega! Tell 'em to come talk to me! I wanna get Sonich--get the Sonichu game idea...up in the air with--between Nintendo and Sega.

So...yeah. That basically covers the, uh, topics of, uh, interest for now. So, uh... [''cell phone starts ringing with a “[[Feel So Lonesome|(You Drive Me) Crazy]]” ringtone''] you know who I am. I'll talk to y--I'll, uh, give another update when I feel like it. Peace out.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chando Sings!]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-09-13]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2008| 13]]
[[Category:Jimmy Hill Saga videos| 2008-09-13]]
[[Category:Blanca Saga videos| 2008-09-13]]
[[Category:PSEye videos|2008-09-13]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Star Wars

2026-05-04T22:44:21Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* References by Chris */

{{quote|[[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn Darth Maul Dual LightSabre|Chris to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:Star wars.jpg|thumb|300px|Remember Chris, the [[autism]] will be with you – always.]]
[[File:ChrisNass.png|thumb|left|300px|Coincidence? I think not!]]

'''''Star Wars''''' is a film and media franchise created by {{w|George Lucas}} and produced his company Lucasfilm. It begun with 1977's ''Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope'', which was released to critical and commercial acclaim and is now considered to be one of the best movies of all-time. The popularity of the first installment lead to two more sequels, 1980's ''Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back'', and 1983's ''Episode VI: Return of the Jedi''. The franchise is now a cultural icon, and has spawned legions of parodies, and book and television companions, as well as a prequel trilogy, consisting of 1999's ''Episode I: The Phantom Menace'', 2002's ''Episode II: Attack of the Clones'', and 2005's ''Episode III: Revenge of the Sith'', and a sequel trilogy, made up of 2015's ''Episode VII: The Force Awakens'', 2017's ''Episode VIII: The Last Jedi'', and 2019's ''Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker'', as well as a handful of spin-off films and television projects like 2016's ''Rogue One'', 2018's ''Solo'', and 2019's ''The Mandalorian''.

[[Chris]] has mentioned on more than one occasion that he likes the franchise, and has [[Things Chris has ripped off|taken influence from it]] on certain occasions. The earliest known references he's made to it are in his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Lego Game Boy Camera videos]], around the time that ''The Phantom Menace'' was being hyped up in [[1999]] (though the video states it was from [[1998]]). He particularly likes the character Ahsoka Tano, who was first introduced in the 2008 animated series ''The Clone Wars''.

==References by Chris==
[[File:Starwarsday.png|thumb|200px|left|Chris wearing an {{w|Ahsoka Tano}} hat.]]
[[File:Screen Shot 2016-04-28 at 9.20.26 PM.png|thumb|right|300px|Chris' ''Star Wars'' self. Zabrak are known for being [[Chris and his ego|arrogant and prideful]], quite fitting for Chris.]]
[[File:Screen Shot 2016-04-28 at 9.21.01 PM.png|thumb|right|300px|Ditto, but [[Transgender|female]]. Note that Chris's choice of last name for either character implies that he thinks that {{w|Lando Calrissian}} is at least part-Zabrak instead of fully-human.]]

* {{w|Luke Skywalker}} competes in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]] and fights {{w|Darth Maul}}. In addition, other ''Star Wars'' characters like a "{{w|Darth Vader|Vader}} {{w|Droid (robot)|Droid}}", Anakin Skywalker, and {{w|R2-D2}} show up as well.
* In the [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris referred to [[Tobacky|cigarettes]] as "death sticks," a [[CWC-ism|childish euphemism]] borrowed from one of the sillier scenes in ''Attack of the Clones'', specifically the one that spawned the "You don't want to sell me death sticks" meme. Unfortunately, unlike the drug dealer in the movie, Chris would not [[14 Branchland Court|go home]] and [[Chris and reality|rethink his life]].
* In [[IRC]], Chris told trolls ''"I've enjoyed 5/6 Episodes, and Clone Wars; didn't see EP3 yet''<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref> and that ''Episode IV'' is his favorite film in the series.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref>
* Chris once mentioned watching "Blue Harvest", the first part of ''Family Guy'''s trilogy of ''Star Wars'' parodies (which Lucasfilm themselves approved and had involvement in). He has likely seen the other two episodes as well.
* He owns five ''Star Wars'' [[games]] and several [[toys]].
* In [[Julie Reveals Herself]], [[Max]] does a {{w|Chewbacca}} impression, which Chris responds to with one of his own, arguably even worse than his [[Donald Duck impersonation]].
* When Chris was [[It's UGH!|forced to sing "OK2BGay"]], he originally sang it in a voice not unlike Yoda. Whether he was intentionally impersonating him or not is unknown, but for his standards it's surprisingly accurate.
* Chris [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloaded]] Yoda for [[Soul Calibur|''Soulcalibur 4'']].
* He used [[Thorg]]'s love of Star Wars as [[Chris and hypocrisy|evidence of his nerdiness]].<ref>[[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada]]</ref>
* He told [[Clyde]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ''"You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like [[South Park|Eric Cartman]], and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn Darth Maul Dual LightSabre."''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Wild Sonichu]]'s proposed backstory is an admitted Star Wars ripoff:
{{Quote|Wild Sonichu's story is of after he loses his father to some [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] poachers (possibly of [[Team Rocket]] and [[Giovanni]]), and years later, he hears the call of his father from afar, and he sets forward to find and rescue him. The ending being he finds his Scyther father evolved to a Scizor, and it draws into a plot similar to that in Star Wars between Luke and Vader.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails]]</ref>}}
* In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], Jason Kendrick Howell's throne appears to bear resemblance to the Emperor's throne in ''Return of the Jedi''.
* {{w|Ahsoka Tano}} is shown gossiping with "Zack, the That's-What-She-Said [[JERKS|Douchebag]]" in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]].
* In [[2021]], Chris [[May 2021 social media posts#May The Fourth Be With You|commemorated the franchise]] on [[Twitter]] on 4 May (dubbed ''Star Wars'' Day by fans due to the obvious "May the Fourth be with you" pun, rather than to commemorate the release date of the original film).
* At the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention in [[January 2024]], Chris [[cosplay]]ed as ''Star Wars'' character Ahsoka.

==References==
<references/>

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{TV}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Kacey Call 24

2026-05-04T01:15:52Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Kacey Call 24''' is the twenty-fourth of the [[Kacey Calls|phone calls]] between [[Kacey]] and Solid [[Chris]], taking place in [[October 2009]]. A wide range of topics such as Barb being sick, job hunting at Target, cleaning his room, Kacey allowing her gay friends to touch her boobs, Chris's sexuality were discussed.

==Summary==
*[[Chris]] says that his [[mom]] had [[9 October 2009|food poisoning]], so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways.
*Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
*Kacey asks about Chris's [[room]] getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but [[Kim]] suggested that Chris take his [[Lego]] city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
*Chris is still trying to get a job at [[Target]], but has applied to two other stores.
*Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up.
*Chris talks about the [[Emily]] date, and claims that the ''man in the pickle suit'''s name is Harold.
*Chris talks about the [[PVCC]] trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the L-U-L-Z (spells it out).
*Chris [[Chris and his ego|gets stressed out]] when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
*Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a compliment, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
*'''Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!'''
*Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
*Kacey says she has [[gay]] friends who regularly grab her boobs and she doesn't mind.
*Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
*Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.

==Video==
{{Tardrage|1=border:4px solid #FF1493|2=[[Homos|flamboyant]]}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 24
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|e_sD9CXBaX4}}
| Stardate = [[October 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 23]]
| next = [[Father Call]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' I'm good, just a little tired.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I got to agree.

'''Kacey:''' So how are you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email. Did you read my reply I sent back to you?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that sucks about [[Barb|your mom]], I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... how did they know that she had food poisoning?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that my, that was [[Bob|my father]] and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then, and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as colitis.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean well-

'''Kacey:''' You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... she was having gut pains, and... yeah, she was like, "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened." She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know....Mom was... all up, all up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...

'''Kacey:''' How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.

'''Kacey:''' Besides, if she has colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that. You said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the colitis yet. So...

'''Kacey:''' But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong. Like did she get put on a diet?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, [[Recycling|salty]] or sugary foods, or drinks, now.

'''Kacey:''' No, definitely not. Is she sticking to it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, she's, yeah, she just got started on it.

'''Kacey:''' So then what type of things is she eating?

'''Chris:''' Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... fruits and vegetables...Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-

'''Kacey:''' Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well-

'''Kacey:''' Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.

'''Chris:''' Hm, alright well, I'm not sure, I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know, I can, I can like, you know... um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-

'''Kacey:''' You should, I mean it's good. You know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.

'''Chris:''' Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer, families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's a show of soli-, you know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Kacey:''' It's pretty inspirational.

'''Chris:''' Huh.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah...alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my mom about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-

'''Kacey:''' You totally should.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I, yeah. But right now she's, right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.

'''Kacey:''' Definitely, I think that would be good for you.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' How is [[Chris's room|your room]] coming along?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh...I, uh...Kim and I agreed that, uh...yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city, my [[Lego]] [[CWCville|city]] apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into, into buckets.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, that's a good idea.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that, I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-

'''Kacey:''' You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Yeah, it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent, plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the, being in the hospital.

'''Kacey:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' So...

'''Kacey:''' But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah, I, yeah, I'm going to work on that this week. On that-

'''Kacey:''' Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, OK. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?

'''Kacey:''' Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.

'''Chris:''' OK. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. [''Pause''] Oh, by the way I still have, by the way, apparently, uh... it's like, you know, I have, um... yeah, I have not heard back from [[Target]], and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... the weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in [[Ruckersville]].

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?

'''Chris:''' No, not yet. But I, but I, like you know, I'm planning on, I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.

'''Kacey:''' Definitely.

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. [Pause] Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon, yeah, let me go, let me go off topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, [[Regina]], the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...

'''Kacey:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' ...whose father I sold two guitars to on [[eBay]]. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along...great, you know. I've been mostly telling her about the pos-, about my positive characteristics. Not one, not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like [[Gregg Mays]] and whatever. And then, uh... and then... you know like, we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... but, today at two o'clock at the, uh, [[McDonald's]] on Barracks Road... but then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the, oh, I got the, oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two, and he had two guitars, with no paint, with all paint and stickers removed." And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll-, I got trolled again. And like you know-

'''Kacey:''' Well it sounds like she got trolled too.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, or like you, yeah or like you know, like she's one of the, she's one them, just like, uh...the past time at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]], I think her name was [[Emily]]. And then we were, and then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|guy in the pickle suit]]. Uh... and I think, uh, I think, you know, [[Kim]] could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-

'''Kacey:''' How do you know she had a wire on?

'''Chris:''' [annoyed sigh] Because, the, I found the audio file later, on the, uh... [[Miscreants]] webpage that was originally created by [[Clyde Cash]]-slash-[[Gregg Mays]].

'''Kacey:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim, then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and whatnot. So...

'''Kacey:''' It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?

'''Chris:''' Hm. No...I don't think think ''the whole world'' is against me, just some, it's just some of the people, it's just the whole buncha people out of a whole, out of a big vast majority.

'''Kacey:''' You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.

'''Kacey:''' Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?

'''Chris:''' [getting more stressed and whiny] I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I, as far as I know, I-

'''Kacey:''' But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know why! I don't know why they started...[Sigh] I don't even know why that, why the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z]].

'''Kacey:''' The what?

'''Chris:''' L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-

'''Kacey:''' So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.

'''Chris:''' [''Sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' I mean, are you telling the truth?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I-

'''Kacey:''' I mean are you sure you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.

'''Chris:''' I am telling, I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to [[God]]. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And whatnot.

'''Kacey:''' That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you really that important?

'''Chris:''' [offended sigh] Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as, I'm as important or more important than [[Britney Spears]]! [Pause] Jeez...[Sigh] What a mess that, what a mess the whole trolling thing is. [Sigh] But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block-, and I'm continuing to uh, block any naysayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my, on my, on my AOL address.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. That's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?

'''Chris:''' Well like you know, people... I- for one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a [[homosexual]], or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me, or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-

'''Kacey:''' You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.

'''Chris:''' [stunned] What, come on, I mean-

'''Kacey:''' I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.

'''Chris:''' [disgusted sigh] But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-

'''Kacey:''' Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?

'''Chris:''' Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- [stammering incoherently]

'''Kacey:''' But THEY don't.

'''Chris:''' [getting angrier] Ugh, I've been telling them, I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the [[YouTube]] videos that I'm straight!

'''Kacey:''' Maybe they think you're just being shy.

'''Chris:''' Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I, I mean, I even, I even reflected so much about my, uh, about my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...

'''Kacey:''' Well, Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, [Chris sighs] then it usually is true.

'''Chris:''' Oh, JESUS CHRIST!

'''Kacey:''' They just think you're in the closet. I mean, you...

'''Chris:''' I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!

'''Kacey:''' Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...

'''Chris:''' Wait, wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?

'''Kacey:''' No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."

'''Chris:''' Oh, Jesus...[Sigh]

'''Kacey:''' I mean you should just ignore it.

'''Chris:''' [Chris sighs and tries to change the subject] Ah, whatever, but anyway like I, like I said, I add the, I add those names, I add those people, those are... The subject of those people who send me such e-mails, I add to my block list. That's uh, one thing. Another thing is like you know... like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you," or "You're a failure," or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh-, you know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your [[copyright]] being stolen," that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know, I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob-, it say-, they just say it in the subject line. [''Pause''] Yeah. Anyway, yeah those, those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.

'''Kacey:''' Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway? I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.

'''Chris:''' Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!

'''Kacey:''' But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.

'''Chris:''' Ugh, Jesus...

'''Kacey:''' I mean Chris, this is just common sense.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... You know, let me, let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I, you know, yeah, there is a, there is [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a video of me]]... uh... having sex with a blow-up woman, with a blow-up doll, that's like a wom-, a blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that, I mean, I, the blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up, I'd be blowing up a... dude doll.

'''Kacey:''' I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.

'''Chris:''' But I-

'''Kacey:''' I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.

'''Chris:''' [stress noises] Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is, is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the boobs, and the long hair, and the-

'''Kacey:''' It's just a piece of plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't, and it wouldn't know, but still-

'''Kacey:''' So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.

'''Chris:''' [double stress sigh] Well yeah, well...[stress breathing] Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going, I'm just going, I just been going overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would, most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.

'''Kacey:''' Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?

'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Oh, jeez...

'''Kacey:''' I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-

'''Chris:''' No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at [[pickles|penises]]! I love looking at [[china|vaginas]]!

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK...I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?

'''Chris:''' [quiet, frustrated sigh]

'''Kacey:''' I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.

'''Chris:''' I find wom-, I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean, I, yeah, we talked about this before, we... we talked about this before.

'''Kacey:''' I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's OK because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.

'''Chris:''' [sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again] Whatev-, whatever. I- Yeah, uh, whatever. Let's not, let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...

'''Kacey:''' You should stop [[stress sigh|sighing]], Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... little upset toddler behavior.

'''Chris:''' [tries not to sigh]

'''Kacey:''' I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.

'''Chris:''' [annoyed sigh]

'''Kacey:''' You could be polite and be like, "I disagree."

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Kacey:''' Or, "Let's change the subject."

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...

'''Kacey:''' Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.

'''Chris:''' OK yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. [waits for response] She's been correcting me on-

'''Kacey:''' Well it's not that hard, so...come on. Heh.

'''Chris:''' Uh, wait... I, uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.

'''Kacey:''' I said it's not that hard. I mean-

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, not hard.

'''Kacey:''' It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I mean, yeah, well I mean, I did try to... stop-, to not say whatev-, that word. But, I mean-

'''Kacey:''' I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.

'''Chris:''' Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it, I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam-, around my family. And, and it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... and then I, it just started coming back, it just started coming out again. That's, that's one thing that I'm, that I think there, about that. [Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything] Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is, what else can I, what else is on my mind I can talk about? Um...I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.

'''Kacey:''' Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.

'''Chris:''' Unless I can tutor you in statistics....Actually, I did take statistics, uh...at, uh, one or two of those classes...uh, when I started at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont]], as part of the, as part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was, I, first, I started to work on...but then I, but then I switched over to [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. But yeah I did do, I did do statistics, so...like, so like, you know...if you...show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob-, I could probably remember...what to do there.

'''Kacey:''' OK, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?

'''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can, I'll see what I can remember.

'''Kacey:''' OK.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, OK?

'''Chris:''' Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to, and it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice, it's nice to know that, to have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know...just, you know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.

'''Kacey:''' [''Laughs politely''] Yeah.

'''Chris:''' I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. OK?

'''Chris:''' Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...

'''Kacey:''' OK, bye.

'''Chris:''' You take care, be safe, bye-bye.

==External links==
[http://www.4shared.com/mp3/iOBf4RqQce/Kacey_Call_24.html MP3 Phone Call]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]|nextlink=[[Father Call]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

14 January 2010

2026-05-04T00:01:05Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''14 January 2010''' (officially '''01142010.MOV''') was uploaded by Chris on 14 [[January 2010]]. In this video, he tries to convince the audience that he is [[Ego|a good person]] even after he [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Asperchu|someone]] and wished for their [[Death threats|imminent demise]].

[[Chris and health#Hygiene|Chris also seems to have worn the same shirt for three days in a row]].
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 01142010.MOV
| ytid = DjZMBkSKXwE
| stardate = 14 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| previous = [[12 January 2010]]
| next = [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]
}}

{{quote|A lot of us have cursed people. Everybody has cursed somebody in their lives.}}

=== Transcript ===

Ah, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 14th, 2010.

Welp, I have just looked up on the, uh, [[CWCipedia]] and noticed a jumbo image that, uh, Alec and his associates have put on there and, uh, yes, I'll ha—I'll admit that I have cursed them, though they probably just assumed that, aside from my being angry at them, but I spy— but regardless of that.

In response to that as well as, uhh, their questioning, uh, me as a individual, as such. I mean a lot of us have cursed people. Everybody has cursed somebody in their lives, or said curse word— whatever. But I'm still a g—I'm still a good, individual human being. It's just that, like them with their mental problems and me and my mental problems, when we go into defense mode or response to something that really offends us, we can be mean and c—we can be mean. And that's just, uh, our defense like, you know. It's just like the (?) state of a man. Something offends us, prf [''waves and makes punching gesture''], we want to punch that sucker right in the face. Every ma— every individual man with, or without, a mental handicap can agree with me on that.

But still, I have given you [[Sonichu]] for the past almost ten years now. Well, up to, anyway, 'cause the website didn't go up until 2004. But still—it will be almost ten years now, since I first started him on March 17, 2000. Or ten year anniversary, [''Chris's phone rings with the Motorola W315 "Sensation" ringtone''] March 17, 2010.

[''Chris moves in to turn off his phone.'']

Anyway, uh, regar— irregardless of the incoming call here, hm, I say, trust the ma—trust the individual who you've been trusting this whole time. Don't trust this new guy. [[Chris and his ego|He's just trying to take my fame]]. Please, think about that, my loyal fans. Stay safe and have a good da—

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[12 January 2010]]|nextlink=[[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-14]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-01-14]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-14]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2010-01-14]]

CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation

2026-05-03T23:32:36Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

The '''CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation''' is a set of videos that [[Chris]] released in hopes of selling the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] franchise to investors. Note that "Personal Sonichu Presentation" can be shortened to [[PSP]].

Chris imagines that he is speaking directly to "businesspeople" who might back the commercial development of [[Sonichu]]. In the first video, he delivers a brief history of his character's creation, and also displays a few Sonichu-related objects in addition to his comics and his famous medallion, including crude clay sculptures of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and a "[[Sonic]] versus Sonichu" racing board game. He concludes by claiming that he plans to complete between 50 and 100 ''Sonichu'' comics in his lifetime (if Chris kept up his pace he had in late [[2009]], he would have reached the minimum goal in 2029, [[Chris and Health|if he's lucky enough to still be living]], not counting his [[Saga#Dark Ages (20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014)|various]] [[Jail Saga|hiatuses]] over the years and a slow upload schedule that has run dry as of December 2020. Ultimately, Chris is only 15 issues, or only 30% of the way towards the minimum goal).

The second video is substantially less coherent. Chris loses the plot as far as attempting to sell his character and settles down to [[Chris and his ego|narcissistic wallowing in his supposed personal achievements and his fantasies of a vast international ''Sonichu'' fandom.]] He spends several minutes showing off fan [[art]] submitted by [[trolls]], all of which is unsurprisingly far better than anything Chris himself could ever dream of drawing. He also seems to have revived his old dreams of a ''[[Pokémon]]'' video game or trading card expansion starring [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], which suggests he has forgotten the conclusion of the [[Miyamoto Saga]] or managed to actively push those events out of his mind.

Perhaps his most impressively deluded fantasy involves the prospect of a Sonichu animated series. He believes that [[Sony]] would be interested in developing the show, that the [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]] would be interested in broadcasting the show, and that he would direct and star as the voice of himself and Sonichu. (He briefly shows off his "Sonichu voice," an almost indistinguishably higher-pitched version of his normal voice.) While Cartoon Network has not opted to make a Sonichu animated series, they are the American broadcasters of ''[[Sonic Boom]]''. But we digress.

As usual, Chris displays a shocking lack of awareness concerning the nonexistent commercial viability of his character. He also, once again, fails to realize that giving out your home address, home and phone number and other key bits of personal information in a video that's publicly available on [[YouTube]] is not such a hot idea.

In addition to uploading the videos to YouTube, Chris also made a page for these presentations on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also attempted to upload the follow-up PowerPoint presentation videos, but failed, possibly because either the video files were corrupt or he actually thought .ppt files were video files compatible with YouTube.

Animator [[Wikipedia:Harry Partridge|Harry Partridge]] has called this his favorite Chris-chan video.<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1
| ytid = mdkUjnBGMSw
| stardate = 23 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[14 November 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2]]
}}
{{quote|Very famous. Very, very famous.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''The song "Sonic Boom" by Pastiche is playing on the PS3 behind Chris, at times loud enough to make Chris hard to understand.''] Mmm. HELLO, w—hello there muh-business people! Welcome to world of [[CWCville]], Virginia, [''Chris fidgets with his [[Medallion of Fail]]''] and the world of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[14 Branchland Court]], ZIP code 22968. And, uh, my home phone number is (434) 990-0198, my cell phone being 760-0848.

Anyway, I am here today to talk to you about d—revolutionary geh—leviloutionary lil' character that WILL [''jump cut''] pah, uh—will make a lot of [[money]], because he's already been innernet-famous fer about 20—fer almost 10 years now. [''pulls out a [[Scrapbook of Fail|Sonichu binder]] and holds it up to the camera''] His name is Sonichu. The l'il, real Electric Hedgehog [[Pokémon]] right here. [''points to Sonichu on cover of [[Sonichu 0|Issue 0]], then starts to put away the binder''] You'll find out more about him. You can learn more about him and read [''holds the binder back up to the camera''] the comic books—comic book pages I've written—I've drawn and written so far [''puts the binder away this time''] on [[CWCipedia]], which, uh, the address to that would be next to this [[YouTube]] video in da details.

Anyway, we are here t—t—anyway yeah. His or—his origin is basically... yeah, first off, uh, we have to c—look at the—my big BOOK here. [''pulls out a different, giant binder''] Look how big that book is. [[Pickle|So thick]], I had to get ANOTHER BOOK. [''hefts a second equally huge binder''] Heh. [''sets second binder down'']

Anyway, [''sets giant binder down and opens it''] it all s—[''video skips''] Anyway, uh... upon the cre—uh, upon the physical—upon the mental creation of Sonichu, it originally came to me, because, for one—for a computer graphics class back in high school, I had to create a CD cover for... [''wipes his forehead with his sleeve''] a CD that's, uh, was not to be sold anywhere, but, anyway. Made for fun, but—so, I drew up a...—a—this—this CD cover right here [''holds up a binder page showing [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''] and this—this—this was Sonichu's first a—forst official appearance. Front and back on the ins—on the insert. If, anyway, uh, basically, [''video skips''] the—uh, the idea came to me, like, you know, yeah, I wanted to use Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu on the cover of my CD, but they're both copyrighted characters, and previously-copyrighted characters were not allowed. So, uh, after lunch, uh, during that same day, in da [[Manchester High School]] with my teacher Miss Naelie Chalifoux, thank'a very much, I have...—it just dawned upon me, with, uh, merging together, in combination of the two, and then Sonichu was born.

Now that and then [[homos|in da but]] storywise, he was born—he—he was born amidst the, uh, s—sitcha—situation in [[Station Square]] whereas portray—previous portrayed in the ''Sonic Adventure'' game, available on Dreamcast and Nintendo GameCube. Ay—yeah, but during the battle, the Chaos Monster, Super Sonic, ran into a spystanding Pikachu and, uh, transformed in—into Sonichu... as that was also—as the origins also described in the ''Number Zero'' book on the—on the CWCipedia.

[''reaches for glasses, then reconsiders and wipes his forehead with his arm'']

Now, the, uhh...—now, Sonichu's appeal—Sonichu and Rosechu's appeal: yeah, mainly, the, uhh, appeal was... [[Sonichu 8|t—aimed towards children]]... and, uhh, there was the start of the books, there. We got little toys here, I put togetter. Even a—even a board game, where we put the boards... right here. Sonic vs. Sonichu, a little racing-type game, but it's a l'il—it's a little bit Monopoly-style, with game ca—with, uhh, cards that you pick up... uhn, and shortcuts. Anyway, that is, uhh, part of the, uhh, merchandising thing that I plan on branching out with... in the world of Sonichu, eventually. As, uhh, p—as portrayed—as previously-mentioned in a YouTube video, I have the official registration copyright of Sonichu... and Rosechu and the C-uh-CWCville, in my—in my own name, and that—and that is also accessible on the CWCipedia: the scan of that... actual piece of paper that came from the Virginia Library of Congress.

[''opens binder and sighs'']

Anyway, yeah, I got a ''whole'' bunch of history here. All my history. It comes, like, you know, from creation... with, uhh...—to making, uhh, to a whole bunch of stories, and whatnot...—and even, uhh, made a title(?)... for it in my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], which was, uhh—which I believe I told Nintendo of America about... in a previous letter or two. Anyway, yeah, it was—it was very—it was very lucrative, and... we do plan on branching out even on DVD, of, like, on my live DVD that's called [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC... Christian Weston Chandler... That's Me. Yep, I'm on TV!'']] Uhh, C-''Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on TV!'' That's the name of the DVD. So, if it comes out on DVD, [[Chris and reality|I hope to get it on... Blu-ray, as well]]. And, also, I've created the, uhh—a couple of Sonich—a, uhh, level S—for Sonichu, on ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', Sony—on Sony [[PlayStation 3]]... which, uhh, is called "Sonichu Episode 0". You can look it up; my [[PSN]] ID is ''Sonichu'': S-o-n-i-c-h-u. ...Anyway, e—e—following this, uhh, video... there will be a... video where, uhh... it will be presented live from my PC: a PowerPoint presentation that can better describe... the situation. Anyway, with the count of books, I plan—I plan on drawing, at least, in my lifetime, hopefully, between fifty to a hundred books.

==Part 2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3XLWTuswqtA}}
| stardate = 23 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Video|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1]]
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''Picking up where the first video left off.'']

By which, uh, definitely more will be a re—a ra—around Sonichu, after I, which I have dubbed myself the [[CWCville|Mayor of CWCville]], in this glorious shopping, this glorious two-story [[CWCville Shopping Center|shopping mall]], ah, that is glorious. I actually have, uh, plans that I have, uh, made in [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]], which I will present through this video, near the end of it—near the end of this video.

[''He begins flipping through a thick three-ring binder.'']

Anyway, yeah, got a whooole bunch of stuff here. Yeah, we can definitely franchise 'n' all this, you know. Even ideas of a ''Pokémon: Lightning Version'', where players can catch Sonichu and Rosechu in the wild, even breeding them to make the other individual Electric Hedgehog characters that are—have been portrayed in the book, such as Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, and Magi-Chan, among others that have also been created as well, due—due—due to, you know, processes of the evolution stones, and daytime/nighttime evolutions, friendship, all that good stuff. All in the—the files here, including their little baby forms Sonee and Rosey, to evolutions from original Sonichu and Rosechu....

[''He displays the Sonichu and Rosechu figures again.'']

...[[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. Those characters are also featured on the [[CWCipedia]]. At least on Sonichu's page; I'm planning on making a page for Rosechu herself on that note. But, anyway, This—this—this Sonichu franchise, it has a biiig number of fans. I even have a number of fan submissions. Like, this here is a draw—is a piece of fan art that came from a girl I knew in Australia.
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|right|[[PandaHalo]]'s fanart, which serves as the cover of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].]]
[''He holds up the picture, presumably from [[PandaHalo]], to the camera.'']

And that's a postcard sent from her, right there. She, uh, also, uh, created a Sonichu and Rosechu that's featured in the ''Number Nine'' book I'm currently drawing. They go by the name of [[Chloe]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu|Blazebob]].

[''Chris turns around the file revealing another piece of art.'']

Anyway, also, on the flip side of this page is from somebody else. It's possibly the best Sonichu fan art ever. Look at that. That's gonna be the cover of the, uh, the first book that's just based on Sonichu, which'll definitely be after ''Number Ten''...

[''He turns around the picture to display Panda's image.'']

...which this one will be the cover of.

[''He looks at the other image again.'']

Hm. This one came from, uh, "Zorah Q. Zowild," that's his YouTube name. Yeah, also, you know, I've received fan art in the snail mail, those are printed off the internet. Like this lovely one.
[[Image:AliciasSonichuandRosechuFanart.jpg|thumb|"And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her"]]
[''He holds up a drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in formal wear.'']

That came from, uh, that came from a lovely woman named Allie, in Sun Valley, California. Thank you. Thank you very much. And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her. But, still, drew my own version of it.

[''He holds up a crude imitation of the previous drawing.'']
[[Image:CWCsEloquateSonichuandRosechu.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's "superior" version of Allie's drawing.]]
Heh, heh. Isn't that fun? Oh, of course, local art, in Charlottesville, an art—an artist did a caricature of me.

[''He turns around the file to display the caricature.'']

I included that in the ''Number Nine'' book on a billboard.

[''He holds up one more piece of art.'']

Here's another fun piece of fan art. It comes from, uh... B.C. Uh, okay, I can't, uh, Vancouver, B.C. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. [[Chris and reality|Very famous. Very, very famous.]] Yep. Uh, this one's just a fan letter from a... from a [[BlueSpike|Julie in Ohio]].

[''He holds up an image, but the high contrast of his video renders it impossible to make out.'']

Here's a little piece of fan art from a, uh, from someone who's possibly, uh, Japanese. Who lives in [[Virginia]]. And also, recently, this guy here, uh, Jason Darling...thank you very much; I got your package.

[''He holds up a folder of photographs.'']

He made a replica of my [[medallion]], which in them, which, you know, this one here is the original that I made myself from my own hands, from Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paints. In the comic books this allows me to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu. Which, that is described in the comic book pages as reposed in the CWCipedia. Also sent me a pack of Maple Story cards, so again, thank you Jason. I appreciate your encouragement, as well as everybody else's. Anyway, uh... hmm... yeah, I picked up a—also received a fan CD from a—from a, uhh... BK Jones in Texas. Oh, here's anutter—here's anutter fun one that's recent. Look at this envelope. Isn't that... cute? That's fun. And then they did a computer art... over there. This came all the way from... Portland... Oregon, I believe it is. And, uhh, I got various other... fan letters in—in this page. Uhh, I'd pull 'em out, but, you know, they're in—I just left them in their envelopes. Nope, fan art dere.

But, anyway, also, aside from that, uhh... I have definitely—I have definitely made a set of trading—'kay, this is my [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon trading cards]]... which I, uhh, used—which I keep at home for art's sake. A whole heck—got, like—whole—a ''whole lot'' of them here. This could definitely branch out... And a very ''profitable'' thing, both for between Nintendo and Sega, and also with Son—also possibly with Sony, with, uhh—you know, with the a—also with, uhh, the anime show that maybe—maybe Cartoon Network and their people could help me out on... eh, when tha—when that TV show gets run. Where I'll voic—where I will be happy to—where I will be the ''director'', and I will be voicing myself as Sonichu. Listen to the difference: okay, this is me, Christian Weston Chandler, and this will be Sonichu: [''clearly taking after [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEIpeZFUnJE George] by not changing his voice whatsoever''] Hey, Rosechu! Let's go out and zap to the extreme! We got some bad guys to defeat! Come on, let's go! Yeah!

[''quietly musing over his own amazing degree of fail''] Hmm... odd, but... [''recovered from the shock, back at normal volume''] anyway, uhh, running low on time. Uhh, just a couple of, uhh, other things of interest: uhh, Sonichu was also previously featured in May, 2004, in this issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine, in "The Crossing Quarterly"... with a, uhh, submission from my ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game—for Nintendo GameCube, currently also available in—in other titles on DS and Nintendo Wii. And, also, uhh—and, shortly after that, it was featured... in a newsletter at the Piedmont Virgi—at the local [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]... among, uhh, other... published things. Also, uhh, when the, uhh, Sonic website was owiginawwy—was just CWCSonichu site, I had my own [[Sonichu's News Dash|News Dash newsletters]]. That lasted a short while... Hmm. Actually, uh, yeah, but any—yeah, but, anyway, everybody knows on the CWCipedia, so....

[''sigh'']

Anyway, here: I'll show you the, uhh, just the, uhh, whole layout of the CWCville Shopping Center. I actually have all these... printouts from... my... [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and cla—cla—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design classes]], but this is the last one, right before I graduated from Piedmont Virginia College. hen my degree and certificate in Commu—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. It's very—it's very good. I mean, I would just imagine this in real life. It would even have a Pokémon Center in there, like the one in New York used to have, before it turned into a Nintendo World, USA. It shoulda stayed a ''Pokémon Center''! Now, that was definitely better appeal than just... Nintend—than just Nintendo, even though, yes, Nintendo... has the rights and everything, but... it was ''the Pokémon Center''! I mean... le—if the CWC—if the CWCville Shopping Center does get built... let's agree to put a Pokémon Center in it. And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building... which is as portrayed in the comic book series. Aaand a whole buncha... other stuff I have, uh, here. It's just side-...stuff from... my... life, and whatever.

Anyway, uhh... uhh, pretty much, uhh, take care of it for, uhh, this par—for this portion of the, uhh, video, [''removes glasses''] so the next video to follow this one will be the... [''taps table''] PowerPoint presentation, so I will be reading audioly—I will be reading from that and pointing the camera toward the PC, [''quietly and unconfidently''] thank you. [''gives a half-assed Cub Scout salute'']

So... to Nintendo and Sega and Sony and all the other companies interested in... franchising with me here: [''gives another half-assed Cub Scout salute''] I await your call to my home phone... number or my cell phone.

Thank you very much, and have a [''gives ANOTHER half-assed [[Chris's mannerisms|Cub Scout salute]]''] ''pleasant day''!

==See also==
* [[Chris and the industry]]
{{References}}
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Presentations}}
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[14 November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-23]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2009-11-23]]

Chris and video games

2026-05-01T00:08:26Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game, and then...move onto another! I can't master any of them.|A TV anchorwoman on a younger Chris winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game console once. [[Chris humps his PS3|It didn't work out]].]]

In case a cursory glance at this wiki did not tell you, Chris likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris definitely has spent more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his [[Love Quest]]. He has said he spends between two and four hours a day playing games,<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]</ref> and the real figure is likely higher than what he admits to.

Without delving too deeply into armchair psychiatry, it is not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal to Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[Autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. This is one of the reasons he has so much difficulty in the real world — the rules keep changing on him- if he figures out the rules in the first place. In the artificial world of video games, the challenges are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to comprehend and surmount. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. [[Chris and reality|Reality isn't quite as simple]], which is why he spends as little time out there as possible.

==Early Years==
Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a [[Commodore 64]] home computer system. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], he has been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back all the way to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, conservatively, nearly 850 different game titles across twenty different platforms. He sold off roughly one hundred games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but this hardly depletes the reserves, at all. He also maintained an account with the mail-order rental service GameFly until [[August 2010]].

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he has downloaded through the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings [[Homos|up the rear]]. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System, and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles make up less than 15-10% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|he likely owns, or at one point owned, an original Xbox console]]. However, it is not known how much time he has spent on Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he has gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It is possible that he has had to replace a few of the infamously fragile apparatuses for overuse, but this could also be an indication that he bought the systems and games in bundles.

It is virtually impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into Chris's game collection over the past few decades. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for – there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video-game-related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty-dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it is possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the former theory.

In January 2015, it was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, ''racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years,<ref>[[Nintendo employee reveals details of Chris's Nintendo transactions]]</ref> or 150 payments a year. This list includes useless shovelware, Virtual Console games, and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he does not even like.]] Of these, 276 purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (''buying '''4''' DS and DSi consoles''), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind that 39% of the purchases Chris has on his account (such as Skylanders figures, amiibos, and his Wii U Virtual Console purchases) are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high figure. Apparently, his main attention and [[Nintendo Power Magazine|fanboyism]] has shifted from PlayStation back to Nintendo, for unknown reasons.

This leak also revealed that Chris plays almost every game demo available on the eShop, Nintendo's online downloadable video game store, even if he has no interest in said game. This leak also confirmed he had bought every single [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] game and primary [[Pokémon]] RPG, proving that he is still a major fanboy of [[Sonichu (comic)|both franchises]], and also confirmed that he still makes many purchases multiple times over for no apparent reason, such as of ''Wario's Woods''.

==Game Preferences==
Going on what evidence is available, such as what he has talked about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, and what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around, Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. Though he puts an inordinate level of effort and time into gaming, he does so playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward more mainstream and less "hardcore" audiences. His favorite racing game, ''ModNation Racers'', is a straightforward title that allows players to create their own tracks and cars. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a rabid following with its level editor, but otherwise, it is just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements obtained by playing simple downloadable demoscene and indie productions.

Chris has purchased a fair share of M-rated games, such as ''Family Guy: The Video Game'', ''Grand Theft Auto'', and ''Call of Duty''<ref>[[List of Chris's video games]]
</ref>, which shows that his interest in games is not necessarily limited to the E rating. These games, however, tend to be fairly shallow in terms of gameplay. ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music, and tricky real-time strategy elements, for the most part, the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and the majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-'em-up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer]]'s other quirky, offbeat games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[random-access humor]] of those games, it is more likely that they were too intelligent for him, and thus hold no appeal to his childish mind. Chris's interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was most likely due to Jack Black voicing the main character, and possibly [[Chris and music|his failed attempts to be seen as a connoisseur of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less out of compulsion. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It is reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections and a house full of junk. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or poor quality games that are easily bought at low prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning. This habit seems to be picked up from [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] and continues to this day in the form of eShop shovelware and Virtual Console downloads.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris does not play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he evinces no interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy – he has even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games of which he already owns physical copies. He has played a handful of the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' games, even earning all the trophies for ''Megadimension Neptunia VII'', but for the most part his interest was focused squarely on the anime adaptation of the games.

Despite being obsessed with ''Pokémon'', ''Animal Crossing'' and Nintendo consoles as a whole, he is not a hardcore Nintendo fan as some might suspect. He never seems to show interest in the latest content from Nintendo, and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (such as games from the ''Metroid'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Mario'' franchises) are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. However, a January 2014 leak by a Nintendo Employee revealed that Chris had, in fact, returned to his Nintendo roots, buying nearly every single game on the eShop.

He owns almost no sports games. In the [[Mailbag 2|Mailbag]], he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he did not explain exactly [[Obesity|why.]]

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games marketed towards his own age group, which is unsurprising. "Hardcore" games aimed at "adults" are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that are not two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably would not be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the ''Hannah Montana'' PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he has taken to playing games he would not normally be doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[Japanophilia|weeaboo]]" label, Chris does not appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he has told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brütal Legend''), Canada (''ModNation Racers''), and Europe (''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they are obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spin-offs from popular anime, especially magical girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There is also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's inclinations to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, the chances he goes to arcades are slim.

==Chris, the Brave Console Warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious affairs, and engages in them with all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions, he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he does not mince words when describing the vile, loathsome, and [[Car Pranks|blatantly stupid]] [[HEXBox]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Video games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It is hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but to call it "religious" is not hyperbole. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or research into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like a collection of marketing buzzwords (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autist, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the GameCube, stating that both the predecessors of the PS3 stank as much as the original Xbox. His feelings changed when he bought a PS1 at a rummage sale for cheap, intending to resell it elsewhere for profit, but instead played it and found it was not bad.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> One would expect this to be a lesson against nonsensical [[Chris and brand loyalty|brand loyalty]], but instead Chris just focused his hatred on Microsoft. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

When asked what his thoughts were on the then-up and coming [[Nintendo Switch]] in [[2017]], Chris responded in Chris [[Mailbag 29|fashion]], and simply stated that he has no [[Exercise|thoughts]] on it, due to being [[stress|preoccupied]]. He would eventually acquire his own Switch a few years later.

[[File:Thoughts_On_Switch_Jan_19_2017.png|thumb|[[Mailbag 29|Whatever]]]]

Unsurprisingly, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he's seemed to show interest in, [https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/xbox360/995562-dont-be-nervous-talking-to-girls "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claimed that it was the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he does not like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that is what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|ceaselessly rants about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and Online Gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris was not fond of online multiplayer games in any genre for a while, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he's owned several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile regularly showed that he put little time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while, early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ''ModNation'' competition and MMO gaming eventually passed, though.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here: Chris claimed to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. It is a mystery, then, why this would wind him up so badly, when he hardly played any multiplayer games, but such is the nature of Chris. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he willingly wastes on worthless digital trinkets through Nintendo and the PSN. For all the good it has done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome]].

In later years, Chris would begin playing online games on his Switch and PC, playing titles such as ''[[Tetris 99]]'' and ''[[Payday 2]]''.

===Chris, the Trophy Whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off on his PlayStation Network profile. He has doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

Counting duplicate games (like ports to different Sony consoles) and games separated into episodes, Chris has earned all the trophies in over 76 games on the PSN.

==Chris and PC Games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he has ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He also owned a copy of the first ''[[Lego Island]]'' game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure – which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He failed to indicate why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

In his early childhood years, Chris routinely played video games on a [[Commodore 64]] computer and even remembered playing educational games such as ''Number Munchers'' and ''The Oregon Trail'' on an Apple II computer at [[Chris's education#Greene County Primary School|Greene County Primary School]] (admitting to a preference for the C64)<ref>[[Warhol Tweets#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref>. In [[January 2026]], he would purchase and [[Commodore 64 Ultimate Review|later review]] its modern remake, the Commodore 64 Ultimate.

Due to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]] and him acquiring a decent computer, Chris has picked up PC gaming. He has a [[Steam]] profile, and has played titles like ''Payday 2'' and some ''Sonic'' games.<ref>[[:File:Steam - ChrisChanSonichu - Games - 7Dec2017.png]]</ref>

==Chris, the Industry Insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He was an avid reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine. As for publications and/or other media sources that have since gone defunct, he was also a dedicated consumer of Sony's interactive online magazine ''Qore'', was a longtime ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' subscriber, and regularly followed the G4 cable network. Chris even apparently took the {{w|Spike Video Game Awards}} (later reorganized into the ''slightly'' more reputable {{w|The Game Awards|Game Awards}}) seriously,<ref>[[Congrats, Jack Black]]</ref> which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a passing interest in the games' business.

==Chris, the Game Designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}

At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It is telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he has gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and it is not actually known what that game is supposed to amount to, beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It is entirely possible that the answer is unknown to Chris himself.

Nevertheless, Chris sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial success. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and Customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output has not shown too much actual competence, but it is not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''F-Zero GX'' and ''Jet Set Radio'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He has splattered Sonichu artwork all over his GameCube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

====Sonic World====
Chris became interested in the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' fan game and modding project [[Sonic World]] in late 2020. After joining its [[Discord]] group, he requested creators make based on Sonichu and his female obsession at the time, [[ProjectSNT]]. In December of that year, Chris found a Sonichu mod and wished to add his voice acting into it. While he did want to get into contact with the original creator and ask if he could add to the mod, Chris opted going without permission and downloaded the mod, replaced the original voice clips with his own, and reposted it. Because of the original mod's appropriation, Chris was banned from the mod-hosting website GameBanana. He was banned from the Sonic World Discord group not long after due to his passive-aggressive-yet-[[Messiah complex|megalomaniacal]] confrontation with the Sonichu mod's creator.

==Chris's Perception of Video Game Technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of ''Sonichu'' #10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"), even though he could easily check and see that he cannot play his copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' on his Wii, although he is either too lazy, or is afraid of having [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] raided by [[jerkop]]s.

Neither is he aware of the technology's current capabilities. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a PokéBall peripheral which could display holographs, which can only be seen in science fiction, currently.

==Decline of gaming passion==
Chris's passion for gaming seems to have relatively subsided by the late 2010s. By 2020, it had been months since he touched his [[PS4]] and he didn't show much interest in the PlayStation 5's first and third-party titles. A look at his then-recent [[Twitter|tweets]] and [[Wish list]] suggested he was busy [[Television|binging TV shows and movies]]. However, Chris continued to regularly play ''[[Tetris 99]]'' on the [[Nintendo Switch]] from 2019 up until his arrest in 2021.

On 11 September 2020, during Chris's phase of role-playing as Sonichu, Chris was asked the following question in [[Discord Q&A 6]]:
{{quoteboxgreen|Dear Christine, are you getting any of the next gen consoles? If so, what games are you excited for?}}

Chris responded:

{{quoteboxyellow|Taking you mean the new [[Playstation|PS5]] or [[Hex-Box|XBox S]] generation of consoles; Mama had not really given that much thought, and I haven’t as much either, considering we’ll be in a [[COVID-19#Stopping the pandemic|new timeline free of this pandemic and all of that.]]}}

==During the jail saga==

During Chris's time behind bars, for perhaps the first time in his life, he was deprived of any ability to access his game collection. The various letters he sent to assorted acquaintances over the course of his confinement made little mention of his electronic hoard, and the status of his collection is itself unknown – with Chris having been away from his home for nearly six years (barring some post-jail visits to retrieve certain items), and reports that items belonging to him were thrown out of the house, there is every likelihood that the good majority of the games and consoles he cherished so dearly and intended to pass down to children of his own have simply been sold off, given away, or tossed in a landfill.

However, in an apparent bid to make the most of his newfound freedom after his release in March 2023, he was swift to visit a local Walmart and purchase another Nintendo Switch, according to an eyewitness account. This account was swiftly corroborated by others who posted images of Chris's online activity, images that paint an unsurprising picture; since his new acquisition, he has wasted little time catching up on games he has missed. Pokemon is front and center, as screenshots of his playtime hours and tweets he has posted suggest he has purchased at least four games within that franchise since leaving jail. This was clarified on the 26th of February 2024 when he posted photos of his entire on-console library to Twitter, confirming that since his release he has purchased ''Pokemon Legends Arceus'', ''Shining Pearl'' and ''Scarlet'' – despite insisting that he wouldn't even play the latter until his own imaginary Pokemon games are released – with the possibility of ''New Pokemon Snap'' also being a post-jail acquisition. He has also purchased several other titles that were released while he was behind bars, including but not limited to ''Metroid Dread'', ''Sonic Frontiers'', ''Superstars'' and ''Colors Ultimate'', and ''Life is Strange Remastered'' and ''True Colors''. Assuming these were bought from standard marketplaces and assuming standard Switch game prices, Chris stands to have spent anywhere from 40 to 60 dollars on each of these alone, to say nothing of acquiring an assortment of indie releases. In total, Chris has spent somewhere around $1500 on Switch games, not including the Switch itself, since his release from jail, raising the total spent to over $3500.

More curiously, his PSN profile was spotted as being active online after years of silence in August 2023, showing that he was dabbling with the demo version of Street Fighter 6 – on a PS''5'', despite Chris stating on a [[November 2023 livestreams#First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream %E2%9A%A1%EF%B8%8F%F0%9F%92%99%E2%9A%A1%EF%B8%8F|November 2023 livestream]] that he does not yet own a PS5. Compared to his Switch usage, however, his passion for the Playstation still appears to have simmered; since his time in jail he has only half-heartedly experimented with a few Vocaloid games, before appearing to settle on using a PS4 as another way to play Minecraft. Chris uploaded a number of images in late 2023 detailing the interior of his [[Big Island House|new house in Big Island, VA]], and two of them feature a shelf containing several games for multiple consoles. From this image, it can be seen that alongside his Switch and PS4, he still owns an Xbox One and a PS3, both possibly collected from his old home. In addition, the games on the lowermost shelf appear to be for the PS Vita from their boxes, the shelf space they take up suggesting that Chris has significantly expanded the number of games he owns for it. Whether or not the PS Vita he has is the same one he acquired in 2012 is unknown.

Even so, this nevertheless shows that even after time away from his electronic stash, time in which self-reflection could have been carried out and in which he could have sworn himself to spending only in moderation, Chris is still entirely capable of flushing away hundreds on new consoles and games, still more than willing to pony up vast sums of money in support of his passions, even in the face of an extremely uncertain future. Old habits always die hard – at least, for Chris.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
File:Mail4b.jpg|Pictures of Chris's PSN profile on the PS3
File:Mail6e.jpg
File:Mail3vah.jpg
File:Mail1lbf.jpg
File:Mail5.jpg
File:Mail2u.jpg
File:Maildma.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's video games]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Club Nintendo]]
* [[Fandoms]]
* [[PlayStation 3]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [https://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}
{{TV}}
[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Brassieres For Males

2026-04-30T05:19:15Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Honest}}

[[File:BFMCover.jpg|500px|center|thumb|The page cover photo uploaded on 12 [[September 2013]].]]

{{quote|I encourage Everyone to show their support by wearing a Sports Bra, and encouraging the uncovered [[JERKS|men]] to wear them as well.|[[Chris]], on 10 [[September 2013]].}}

'''Brassieres For Males''' is a ridiculous [[Facebook]] "community" page created in part by Chris on 23 [[August 2013]]. Chris shared the page on 10 [[September 2013]], at which point its existence became known by his fans. The page is dedicated to encouraging men to wear [[Muscle bra|sports bras]]. It is likely, given the language and syntax of many of the posts, that Chris had assistance in running the page from unknown figures. Most of the content was Chris whining about how men should [[Tomgirl pictures|wear women's clothing]], so that he wouldn't feel offended (read: so he would feel more comfortable with crossdressing himself). Chris seemed to forget about the site soon after sharing it, waiting a year before revisiting it, and then only sporadically.
[[File:Wavingclothes.jpg|thumb|200px|right|[[Chris and hypocrisy|Don't be like this man]].]]

==About the Page==
[[File:BFMProfile.jpg|thumb|The Facebook profile photo. Note how the words "Want Woman" are removed compared with [[:File:WantWoman.jpg|this photo]].]]
The original "About" page (sadly not screencapped in time) focused on Chris himself and his adamant opinions about men going topless. The original tagline was, '''"This is a page to support making it legally required for men of all ages to wear (sports) bras to cover their topless chests."''' Soon after its discovery, however, the "About" page was sanitized to mask Chris's egotism and imperiousness. Hints of the original tone remained in some of the site comments and images.

{{quotebox|
Welcome to Brassieres For Men, a support page for those who believe it should be proper and accepted for men to wear (sports) bras.

Brassieres for Men is a page [later changed to "a community of people"] which supports making it more proper and accepted for males of all ages and body types to wear (sports) bras. We would also like to see male characters on cable and public television wearing bras as a way to express identity or modesty.

Brassieres For Men believes that men face an unfair stigma when they choose to wear a brassiere or similar piece of clothing. Bras can benefit men/males in several ways:

--Sports bras prevent the chafing commonly experienced by joggers.

--Bras can provide support and relief for the wearer's chest and back.

--Some conditions cause males to develop larger breasts, which is often a cause of embarrassment. Bras designed for males (or sports bras in the appropriate size) can flatten or lessen the appearance of male breasts and help the wearer feel more confident. (Many males wear undershirts to accomplish this purpose, often with sub-optimal results.)

--Some males enjoy wearing brassieres as an expression of gender or sexual identity. Though this is a valid use, it is not the focus of this page.

--Anyone who wants to wear a bra, for whatever reason, should be free to do so!

Show your support by Liking this page and wearing a (sports) bra!

The Brassieres for Men Facebook page was founded by [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. A Note from the Founder:

"I started wearing sports bras a few years ago. As we grow older, regardless of how much we exercise, the human male will often have breasts that could fill an A- or B-Cup. I, myself, am a 42 B-Cup. Jokes have been made about them, even by [[Family Guy|Seth McFarlane]], but male breasts are not a thing to laugh at."

Thank you for visiting this page. Please Like and share your own experiences and thoughts!}}

==Photo Albums==
Within a few days of its discovery, a series of photo galleries had been established on the site. They were provided largely without comment, and it's unclear what message Chris was trying to send with them, especially after the editing of the original "About" page.

===Sample Male Chests/Breasts===
On 23 August 2013, the page started by posting a gallery of photos of male breasts and chests:
<center>
<gallery>
File:BFMMaleBreasts1.jpg|
File:BFMMaleBreasts2.jpg|
File:BFMMaleBreasts3.jpg|
File:BFMMaleBreasts4.jpg|
File:BFMMaleBreasts5.jpg|
File:BFMMaleBreasts6.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===Covered Sample Chests===
Another gallery showed ridiculous photos (most likely done using MS Paint) of men wearing bras.

<center><gallery>
File:Covered chests 1.jpg
File:Covered chests 2.jpg
File:Covered chests 3.jpg
File:Covered chests 4.jpg
File:Covered chests 5.jpg
File:Covered chests 6.jpg
</gallery></center>

===My own breasts===
Chris was kind enough to give us a gallery of his bosoms.

<center><gallery>
File:My breasts 1.jpg
File:BFMCover.jpg
File:BFMProfile.jpg
File:My breasts 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

On this last photo, Chris commented, "Taken YEARS ago, for a Theoretical Ex [[sweetheart|Girlfriend]]; Trolls got their hands on it, and yet this was (without my own permission or consent) shown on MTV's [[Chris in the media#Traditional media|Failosophy]]."

===Sports Bras===
<center><gallery>
File:Sports bras 1.jpg
File:Sports bras 2.jpg
File:Sports bras 3.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Male Bras===
<center><gallery>
File:Male bras 1.jpg
File:Male bras 2.jpg
File:Male bras 3.jpg
File:Male bras 4.jpg
File:Male bras 5.jpg
File:Male bras 6.jpg
File:Male bras 7.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Chests in the printed media===
These photos are apparently meant to show the prevalence of offensive male torsos in modern Western society (although there's also an image of a woman, so who knows). Chris scribbled out identifying information for the magazines and also made sure to censor the [[duck|groins]] of the male swimsuit models.
<center><gallery>
File:Chests media 1.jpg
File:Chests media 2.jpg
File:Chests media 3.jpg
File:Chests media 4.jpg
File:Chests media 5.jpg
File:Chests media 6.jpg
File:Chests media 7.jpg
File:Chests media 8.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Administrator Comments==
For several days after its discovery, the page administrator(s) made a number of comments clarifying the site's intent. Chris's presence was usually easy to detect based on syntax and the general dickishness of the comments. Much troll mockery was deleted.

===Sports bras are good===
{{quotebox|Sports Bras come in a number of varieties; they are available at stores like [[Wal-Mart]] and wherever bras are sold. There is no shame in asking for your own breast size.}}
{{quotebox|It's true that you need a bit of self confidence to purchase these as a man, but most people will assume you are buying them for a woman anyway. Women wear men's clothes quite often, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with men doing the same with women's clothes, when they can find it in their size. The only problem is in people's perceptions, which will never change if men do not take a stand!}}

One user asked a question:

{{quoteboxred|I asked about it on the timeline but how shall one buy a sports bra? I'm going to walmart tomorrow and want to know how the bra should feel and stuff. I'm a beginner who has resorted to wearing a cut up undershirt to cover my shame.}}
{{quotebox|I'll make a post about it now.}}

===Family Guy Video===
The "Sideboob Hour" scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'' was shared:
{{quotebox|This clip from "Family Guy" is enough to make one aware of the situation.
[[http://youtu.be/sEHHlGNUiB8]]}}

===Sports Bros===
The page admin referenced terms used in [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doorman an episode] of [[Seinfeld]].
{{quotebox|If it makes you feel more comfortable, you may refer to the Sports Bras as "Bros" or "Manssieres"; whatever makes you feel more comfortable.}}
{{quotebox|Sports Bros!}}

===Encouraging===
{{quotebox|I encourage Everyone to show their support by wearing a Sports Bra, and encouraging the uncovered men to wear them as well.}}

One user asked:

{{quoteboxred|What if a woman wanted to go around topless? I am just curious.}}
{{quotebox|'''[NAME REDACTED]''', unfortunately it's currently illegal for women to walk around topless (as I'm sure you know, so I'm not quite sure why you're asking the question.) The female body has been incredibly oversexualized, so women being topless both offends and arouses people, which is not productive in any way. Unless you want them to be aroused, in which case, mission accomplished.}}
{{quotebox|You could say the same for a woman who has exceptional breasts and wants the world to know. Our double standard in this country is ridiculous.}}

In response to another question, the anonymous administrator said:

{{quotebox|'''[NAME REDACTED]''', just do whatever you feel comfortable with. If your wife loves you, she will want that for you.}}

And:

{{quotebox|Well spoken. Maybe you can find a compromise so that you can both be happy.}}

===Magic Mike===
This post was clearly made by Chris. He provides photographic evidence that he has taken to vandalizing store merchandise, an eerie foreshadowing of a [[Sonic Boom Protests|later crusade]].
{{quotebox|
[[File:Bra vandalism.jpg|thumb|left]]
Even the cover of the movie's DVD, ugh, "Magic Mike", REALLY infuriated me the number of weeks since it was released. I had been putting another DVD in front of it, so I wouldn't have to look at those topless dudes.}}

===Support Wearing Bras!===
The page admin then complained about other men feeling uncomfortable wearing bras:
{{quotebox|The only reason men feel uncomfortable wearing bras is because society has deemed it unacceptable, exclusively ladies' wear. But stop to think about it for a moment; at its most basic, what is the purpose of a bra? Support and containment! There is no reason a man should feel ashamed of wearing a bra. If a man has some boobage, it's only logical that he should want to support or contain it. All men should be able to wear any style bra or support he likes, whether it is a more feminine type or merely a compression shirt. Sports bras are actually a brilliant solution for those who can't afford expensive compression shirts. Let's work on removing the stigma surrounding men wearing bras, and instead of shaming them, support them! Just like a bra. (In both the surfer and apparel sense)}}

Two users asked some questions, one on 13 September and another three days later:

{{quoteboxred|They make compression shirts. Look up Under Armor. I'm all for wearing what feels right but a guy should get to know his options before he feels restriced to just a bra for support. Could you add a link to them in your next page update?}}
{{quotebox|There is already a link for them, look around.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|what about males that have flat chests?}}
{{quotebox|If they want to wear a bra anyway, let them! Some men get embarrassed if their nipples are showing through their shirt, and a bra can be helpful in that regard.}}

When someone pointed out that diet and exercise would make male bras unnecessary, the admin responded:

{{quotebox|
Okay, but that fact changes nothing. And actually, some men can get moobs even when they are not overweight. Either way, if the moobs are there, a bra we'll wear. ;)}}

===Feminine Style Bras===
The page admin then shared some links:
{{quotebox|Cute feminine style bras for men can be purchased here. Some are even padded to give the appearance of strong pectoral muscles.

<nowiki>http://www.hommemystere.com/store/categories/Bras/</nowiki>}}

===Gynecomastia===
{{quotebox|http://manbra.net/ is a blog filled with information about Gynecomastia. You are not alone!}}

and:

{{quotebox|This is a great site for men who prefer a more masculine form of containment. There is something for everyone out there! http://www.mensbreast.com/}}

===Wal-Mart===
{{quotebox|Walmart has an incredibly wide selection of bras, and many have a more masculine look to them. Browse the site and check out your options!

<nowiki>http://www.walmart.com/browse/intimates/bras/5438_1078024_1078025?_refineresult=true&ic=32_0&path=0%3A5438&facet=style%3ASports&povid=cat1078024-env388472-moduleA032813-lLinkLHNBras6Sports</nowiki>}}

===Bra Sizing===
{{quotebox|Bra sizing: First of all, remember that you can return ANYTHING to Wal-Mart! So it might be a good idea to purchase a few different sizes of bras to try on at home, and return the ones that do not fit. It's a bit of trial-and-error at first, but you'll find your size soon enough! Now for the explanation:

Most bras are sized in two ways: the letter, which denotes cup size, and the number, which denotes the diameter of the chest. To know what bra size you are without having to try them on in public first, take a tape measure and measure your chest "cannon", that is to say, wrap the tape around your back and to your front, just below your "man"maries. This number is your chest size, which often will convert quite closely to the bra sizes.

For the cup size, place your hands over your moobs. If you can get a good handful, you are probably a B cup. If it's just enough to fill your palm, you're probably an A cup. Don't be afraid to try for a C cup though! For those who are more overweight, oftentimes a C cup is necessary.

When it comes to sports bra sizing, many are in the types of size you're familiar with--XS through XXL. The handy thing about sports bras is you can usually tell by holding it up to your chest whether it will fit or not.

Sports bras should fit snugly but not feel as though they are asphyxiating you or cutting off circulation. They are meant to lend support by compressing the breasts, but too tight and they can become quite unpleasant. As mentioned in the beginning, if you aren't comfortable with trying them on in the store, purchase a few different sizes and try them on at home.

Happy shopping!}}
One user posted on the same day:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you so much for this tutorial. I'm going to make a video about my solution before I was convinced for you to get a sports bra. Thank you so much!}}
{{quotebox|Happy to help!}}

Another user posted this six days later:
{{quoteboxgreen|Would you mind sharing too that not all brands measure the same A Hanes 34B size may not be the exact same size as say, a 34B Fruit of the Loom. There's no worse feeling than having an elastic band digging into your ribcage.}}
{{quotebox|Definitely true. Don't try to force a size that just doesn't fit!}}

===Wikipedia On Male Bras===
{{quotebox|Educate y'allselves!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_bra}}

===Ryan Gosling===
{{quotebox|Ryan Gosling wears a man bra. Okay so maybe he doesn't. BUT WE CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE}}

===A Shoutout===
{{Notice|This links to [https://www.facebook.com/martin.wilson.9809/videos/346664565469097/ a video] that should be properly archived.}}
The page admin shared a video from a user talking about purchasing a bra to cover his "nippy slips":
{{quotebox|<nowiki>https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=346664565469097</nowiki>}}

===Bullying, Autism, and Mocking===
To counter the rash of trolling, the page admin posted the following:

{{quotebox|Those who attempt to troll or mock will be banned. And it's very easy to tell. If you came here just to continue to bully an [[autism|Autistic man]], then I think you need to look at your life and figure out at what point you thought it would be okay to treat someone that way.}}
{{quotebox|The purpose of this page is clear, and if you don't like it, nobody's making you stay.}}

One user responded:

{{quoteboxgreen|You know you are distracting the purpose of this page by writing this. People already know who this was made for, how do you know everybody here is just pulling your legs}}

The admin replied:

{{quotebox|almost 7 years of experience}}

Another user posted:

{{quoteboxred|Actually the purpose is a bit mystifying. It seems to be a page supporting Gynecomastia. However, half the pictures are of rather fit men without Gynecomastia. Under the Magic Mike photo you seem to imply topless men are disgusting. This seems to go against a number of your updates. Unless this is a parody page i'm unsure what you are going for here.}}

The admin responded:

{{quotebox|'''[NAME REDACTED]''', perhaps you should read the "about" page and description. Then you will have a better idea of what our purpose for this page is--which, by the way, is entirely up to us.}}

Yet another concerned citizen asked:

{{quoteboxgreen|I just have to point this out, would this particular message not be like waving a red flag at a bull if you think that bullies or trolls will come here? I had no idea the man who opened this page was autistic (if that is what the message implies?) or if the creator of this page is referring to someone else that is being bullied? I'm not sure which one you're aiming at, I thought this page was about male bras, not autism? If this is about a friend of the creator of this page, then perhaps a different page would be created about autism unless the original post about autism and bullying was posted here by mistake.}}

Admin:

{{quotebox|We're saying it for the ones who are already here for that purpose.}}

Another user protested:

{{quoteboxred|So apparently we can't share our opinion that this is absolutely ridiculous? I work out, I'm in shape, I'm not covering up anything, bro.}}

Admin:

{{quotebox|The page is not here for people to share their opinion that aligns with most of the rest of the world's. It's here for those who agree with what the page stands for to come together and, among other things, support each other. What possible reason could you have for coming to this page and telling us something we don't care about hearing? We don't know you, so your opinion carries no weight and serves no purpose other than to be abrasive.}}

And furthermore:

{{quotebox|You don't get to make demands. And this page is not for fans of CWC, it's for supporters of the cause.}}

==Chris remembers the site exists==
After a long period of dormancy, the site saw new content in the second half of 2014 regarding Chris's new gender identity. These new posts, unlike the previous ones, were definitely written by Chris himself and were typically self-centered.

===Chris comes out===
{{quotebox|14 August 2014
I, Christian Weston Chandler, not discriminating, and have fully come out as a Lesbian Identified Man, or female soul/male body Intersex (it is Real, Google "Lesbian Identified Man"), and as a Full On [[Tomgirl|Cross-Dressing and Makeup Wearing]] Transexual, I am Officially in Full Support to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Cause! Sports Bras for ALL Men, and Skirts for all Men who feel most Comfortable in them, or want them!

HOO-RAH! I will walk in a Pride Parade as well (should one be made in my local area)!}}

When someone replied, "Tranny Pride!," Chris issued confirmation:

{{quotebox|
Tranny Pride, worldwide!}}

Another observer named Robert Stoner expressed some confusion:

{{quoteboxred|I don't understand why you would think being a "lesbian identified man" and a tranny, as well as wearing women's clothing are traits women would look for in a man.}}

This prompted the secret white knight administrator of the page to jump in and begin a dialogue:

{{quoteboxgreen|The women who are into trannies look for that.}}

Stoner:

{{quoteboxred|So you want male transexuals to want you?}}

Admin:

{{quoteboxgreen|I didn't say anything about transsexuals. Just talking about the women who are into trannies.}}

Stoner:

{{quoteboxred|So youre a female trapped inside a male's body?}}

Admin:

{{quoteboxgreen|Christian is, yes.}}

Stoner:

{{quoteboxred|Are you referring to yourself in the third person?}}

Admin:

{{quoteboxgreen|No, I'm one of the maintainers of Brassiers For Males.}}

Kenneth had to say:

{{quoteboxred|I don't think Christian fully grasps what transgender means. Genuine transgendered shows up as differences in brain structure in comparison to a non-transgendered person. These differences can actually be seen on a brain scan. With all due respect, it's all well and good that he supports equal rights. There's nothing at all wrong with that. But my guess is that there are other factors going on here that are the real drivers.}}

The administrator replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|We here at Brassieres For Males are not interested in your opinion. Whatever Christian's true diagnosis is, he'll figure out for himself, without you commenting on it.}}

Ken:

{{quoteboxred|Has CWC considered dating a transgender (Male to Female)? Maybe it might give him some more insight into transgendered.}}

Admin:

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes.}}

===Chris goes to a pride festival===
A month later, Chris cross-posted from his personal page, with added relevant information:

{{quotebox|13 September 2014
I was at the Pride Festival today, and I really felt accepted and liked among the LGBT community; like I do belong there as the Lesbian Transgender that I am, and a lot of real women there showed me kindness and respect. I feel better about myself for that. But I was not in the mental state to meet new people yet, but I did make some acquaintances; talked with some of them for a bit. But I do feel that I really want to do more with the community, so I may join up with the [[Cville Pride|C-Ville Pride]], or something; I have some pamphlets and details. I will make my own decisions!

Not only that, I maintained my Modesty by wearing MY Bras every day, including today!!!

‪#‎WEAREHRC‬}}

===Now you have to wear skirts too===
A month after that, Chris felt compelled to return to the site to post a long musing in which he contemplated other fashion accessories for men:
[[File:Bras 4.jpg|240px|right]]

{{quotebox|19 October 2014
I was thinking more about Modesty, amongst the common Male. Besides the fact that their top portions should still be covered to less offend those, including myself, who feel and have been feeling offended with topless male nudity. There is Another amongst the common Male that should still be considered more concealed from those sensitive to them as well. [[pickle|The bulge]].

The bulge Definitely remains obvious even regardless of what kind of pants they wear. Even opaque Leggings alone would not suffice to keep that covered up. But I have found in my own personal expression of my Lesbian Transgender sexuality, that Leggings AND Skirts together can better conceal the bulge.

The skirt is more loose outwardly, so even if it becomes aroused, to use the term loosely, the bulge becomes less obvious to tell. Also, I like to hide [[duck|my long, ugly growth]] underneath my [[Un-clit|taint]], tucked between the skin and my underwear. This also helps in better being able to look down and Not have to look at the darn thing.

I am not saying males HAVE TO wear skirts and leggings, but in the name of Modesty, it would be beneficial. And, y'all will be able to better feel the breeze of the air on your legs and lower region, which is good. And with the light chill getting there, y'all may find [[semen|better seed population growth]] there as well. Again, using the term loosely.

So, take a page from my book of life for your consideration; skirts and leggings for better Modesty.

Males do Not have to be such offensive show-offs. That is so stereotypical of them to Be Show-Offs; prove yourself Not Stereotypical, And More Modest.

Have a good and safe day.}}

When a commenter complained that he didn't want to wear leggings, Chris replied:

{{quotebox|
Well, then, Don't wear Leggings.

Why must you put me down?}}

===A request===
Despite the new attention Chris was paying to the site, he seemed somewhat distant from it.

{{quotebox|20 October 2014
People! If you want to contact me directly, do so from my own personal page.}}

===Don't free the nipple===

By the end of 2014, Chris's personal page no longer provided a link to Brassieres For Males. Yet in the Spring of 2015, he returned again, and reaffirmed his commitment to male modesty. He cross-posted this note on his personal Facebook page.

{{quotebox|13 April 2015
[[File:11159486 841302929297521 3754185787838158301 n.jpg|right|250px|thumb]]
I do not mean to be offensive, and I do side with the women on the debate. ‪#‎Freethenipple‬ is one that requestions the position of the nipple. I do agree on equal rights here (what is good for one is good for the other there). But, in reasonable discussion, the same result could be achieved with encouraging Males to Cover Their Nipples. Which of my own offense at that visual display that had gone on for too damn long of the stereotypical Male. And that was one big reason why I started the #‎BrassieresForMales‬ group on Facebook over a year ago! I feel it good, I'm agreement of what the women are hoping to achieve, yet in appropriate and ironic twist, Males should post selfies of themselves wearing a brassiere. I won't be the host on this side of the debate (it's not one of my better talents), but I will, however, initiate the agreement to women's ‪#‎Freetenipple‬, with an appropriate counter of #BrassieresForMales.

I, will remain neutral in the matter, because I Do agree with [[women's rights]], and I personally want to see Males be more Modest in their appearances (nobody is impressed with their showing off). And I sincerely would vote with the majority, because we all Would win either way.

Thank you.

<nowiki>#</nowiki>BrassieresForMales

<nowiki>#</nowiki>Freethenipple

‪#‎ToplessTuesday‬}}

===Male Lingerie===
On 5 May 2015, Chris shared a [http://www.dose.com/lists/16355/Male-Lingerie-Is-A-Thing-Now-And-It-s-Kind-Of-Amazing?utm_source=FBTraffic&utm_medium=fijifrost&utm_campaign=CMfacebook&ts_pid=2 link] to an article called "Male Lingerie Is A Thing Now And It's Kind of Amazing."

===Topless Tuesday===
On 12 May 2015, Chris uploaded an image celebrating Topless Tuesday for his page's followers. The post was deleted within 15 minutes. Eat up, ladies.

{{quotebox|12 May 2015
[[File:ToplessTuesday.jpg|left|300px|thumb]]
<nowiki>#</nowiki>Topless Tuesday

From [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Betty]] "B"s to [[Wikipedia:Daria|Daria]] "D"s, enjoy my treats, ladies!

(And if you feel disgust instead, then that validates further my original cause of covering up the topless male). Power to Modesty!}}

===Equality: For Women Only===
[[File:D-Cup Manboobs.jpg|thumb|right|The photo he dared Facebook to delete.]]
Chris shared a [[July 2015 Facebook Posts#Swinging at a D-Cup Level|post]] on his personal Facebook page trying to demonstrate that his breasts were those of a woman, and therefore, according to Facebook standards, should be censored.

{{quotebox|9 July 2015
We, the women, should all be respected equal, regardless of physical body.}}

Since his shared post was, in fact, quickly deleted, this one quickly disappeared too.

===Nudity Reports===
On 12 July 2015, Chris added without comment two essentially identical photos pertaining to Facebook's response to reports that his naked manboobs violated community standards. It's not clear what point he was trying to make.

<gallery>
File:NudityReportA.jpg
File:NudityReportB.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Muscle bra]]
*[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]

==External Links==
*[https://www.facebook.com/BrassieresForMales The Facebook page.]
*[http://www.mensbreast.com/ The website according to the page's contact info.]

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

2026-04-23T03:25:00Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|I, with this body, am filling the role of Haruhi, as the omnipotent one with the deity-level abilities and wish-making type of manifestations.|Chris, comparing himself to Haruhi<ref name=anaxis>[[Anaxis DMs]]</ref>}}

[[File:Haruhi.jpg|thumb|200px|Haruhi Suzumiya]]

'''''The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya''''' is a popular [[anime]] and manga series surrounding the antics of a school club operated by the titular character, Haruhi Suzumiya (or "Suzumia", as Chris spells it),<ref name=anaxis></ref><ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref><ref>[[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022]]</ref> a teenage girl who unwittingly is the god of her world. Chris, being the anime fan he is, was likely exposed to the series during its heyday in the late 2000s, but he really began referring to it more regularly in the 2020s. Chris watched the anime on his iPad<ref>[[:File:23 Aug 20 iPad screenshot - 14BLC.jpg]] Seen in a tab in a screenshot Chris took.</ref> as well as its spin-off series, ''The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan''.<ref>[[:File:20 Aug 20 iPad screenshot - Pokestop Nomination.jpg]] Seen in a tab in a screenshot Chris took.</ref>

==Mentions by Chris==
In [[August 2020]], Chris compared himself to Haruhi while reflecting on the failings of his [[Love Quest|sweetheart search]]. He wrote that, "And like Haruhi, [I] was unaware for the time of this OP ability of [mine], and that [I] wasn’t the type as aggressive/assertive as Haruhi to push things forward."<ref>[[Discord Q&A 2]]</ref>

In [[September 2020]], Chris compared himself, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], and some [[Watchmen]] members to characters from ''Haruhi'':<ref>[[Anaxis DMs#Ultra Director]]</ref>

*Chris to Haruhi, being "the omnipotent one with the deity-level abilities and wish-making type of manifestations." Chris also referred to the coincidence that Haruhi is called the "Ultra Director" and Chris had called himself the "Great Director" years before.
*Barbara to Kyon (misspelled as "Kion" by Chris), being "unspecial, yet Very Special." Notably in the anime, Kyon has a kissing scene with Haruhi, signifying another piece of foreshadowing for Chris's [[Affair with Mother|incestuous affair with Barb]].<ref>https://haruhi.fandom.com/wiki/The_Melancholy_of_Haruhi_Suzumiya_Part_6</ref>
*[[Lainchu]] to Yuki Nagato, being "able to reprogram certain data within the micro ness and fabrics of realities, timelines and dimensions, and so on to her great extent and skill set. Also, your respective insight to the present situations and all that."
*[[Bismuth]] to Itsuki Koizumi, since "his range of abilities being something similar, yet far superior than Koizumi. And in that he has an innate sense, reasoning, logic and intelligence that makes him able to be that who has a better understanding of this body's abilities than I do."
*[[MKRNightVee]] to Mikuru Asahina, though Chris was uncertain since "she's not exactly moe or shy, but she still has her abilities as well that surpasses that of a typical time-traveler type."

In [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]] and [[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022]], Chris listed Haruhi as among the inhabitants of his fantasy dimension [[C-197]].
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{References}}
{{TV}}
[[Category:Television shows]]

Mumble 3.5

2026-04-22T07:26:28Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Mumble 3.5''' is a continuation of the [[Mumble 3]] chat, taking place on 5 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''4:52'''

==Summary==
This chat takes place between takes 1 and 2 of [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009]]. [[Clyde]] is unimpressed by the first video, in which [[Chris]] calls himself a "[[gaybian]]". Chris claims that the term means gay but Clyde doesn't buy it. Chris owns up to the fact that his half-assed first attempt is an "inferior product." As usual, Chris is too inconsiderate to turn down his radio.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Mumble 3.5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|8_EmO_q7tYQ}}
| Stardate = ~5 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Bluespike]], [[Clyde]],
}} </center>

==Transcript==

'''Chris''': [''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]''] Hello, Clyde. So, you saw the video?

'''Clyde''': What video?

'''Chris''': The one I uploaded.

'''Clyde''': Oh. I should probably watch that.

'''Chris''': You probably... oh, yeah, there ya go, [[Julie]].

'''Clyde''': Chris, I gotta perform rites. I gotta perform rites.

[''Clyde begins chanting'']

'''Julie''': Chris, though, I think you should stay in here though, just to be sure... [''cut off by background noise'']

[''Chris leaves, a troll laughs, Chris returns'']

'''Chris''': Er, I put him on my lap, just how I was, like how I was on that principal's lap.

'''Clyde''': I said [[Optimus Prime]], you know... "Transformers roll out."

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I... look, I just... I used- I- It was an action figure, I put it on my lap just like [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|I was on the lap of that principal]], awright? Now watch the video.

'''Clyde''': Whoa, man, I didn't know you wanted to do it with Optimus Prime. I mean...

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Clyde''': I didn't tell you to have sex with Optimus Prime, if that's what you're saying, so...

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Clyde''': What is this... what is this gaybian stuff? That's not a word! It's not even a word!

'''Chris''': Mmm... well, it's like...

'''Julie''': Clyde, you're gonna leave me alone now, right?

'''Clyde''': No. Of course not.

'''Chris''': [''extreme sigh'']

'''Julie''': But that's what you said?

'''Clyde''': What's a gaybian?

'''Chris''': Yeah, you said you were gonna leave her alone... I said, uhh...

'''Clyde''': Ok, Chris. What is a gaybian? I have never heard this word in my life!

'''Chris''': [''exhales deeply''] It's like, it's like, uh, a [[Megagi|lesbian]] except, except, for, it's like [[homos|guy and guy]]. [''voice cracks''] But basically it means gay.

'''Clyde''': No, it means you're straight!

'''Chris''': Well, if you don't like it, I can redo the vid- I can redo it.

'''Clyde''': Go ahead. But, if you're going to do things like ''this'', come on, man! You don't know how to keep a promise, do you?

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well, I did. I said, "gaaaaaaay."

'''Clyde''': -bian, at the end. We all heard it. We're not deaf. Except, I'm half deaf, but that is not the point.

'''Chris''': Awright.

'''Clyde''': The point is a person can hear things, a person can see things... [''muffled by background noise'']

'''Chris''': Ok, I accept that. [[Sonichu_comic|I made an inferior product]]. I'll prove... I'll uh, improve it, if they'll, if you'll, if uh, what hel- if it will, if you will, if you'll give me a bit of, if you will... [''sigh''] If you'll leave Julie, if you'll leave Julie- if you'll leave her alone.

'''Clyde''': Man, you sure do stutter, that's... alright, I'll leave her alone. But I'm gonna send her some chocolates, ok? Is that ok?

'''Chris''': Uh, Julie, is that ok with you if, uh, he sends you chocolates?

'''Julie''': Um... ok?

'''Clyde''': And I'll send you some flowers.

'''Julie''': Ok. Why?

'''Clyde''': Because I'm hitting on you. Come on, you are dense, woman.

'''Julie''': Yes, but why? Why would you hit on me?

'''Clyde''': Because you're good-looking. Man, you are a damn good-looking woman, you know that, right?

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Julie''': But, I, I like, I was...

''End of Transcript''

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 4|Mumble Chat 4]]|}}

==Links==
[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBM2JmU0VyR3UxNDg Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mumble 03.5}}

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2026-04-20T05:04:38Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth and final [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|call between Alec and Chris]], which took place 25 [[February 2010]].

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in [[Issue 10]], given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and [[Sonichu Revolution]] comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything fine. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "[[Sandy]]", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

[[Christian Love Day]] is also brought up. Chris denies [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND saying that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right". When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a pathetic cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question.

Chris also admits that he has no objections being kissed up to, which has been [[Ego|fairly obvious]] for quite a long time. He then goes on to prove he knows little to nothing of Christianity, his professed belief ([[Chris and religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits to believing Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not okay to [[parody]] a parody (it's as nonsensical as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]], for no reason whatsoever.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of Alec; this ironically serves as a perfect metaphor towards the relationship between the two.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|iu02fNtlmdQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that [[Sonichu 10#Trial of the Asperpedia Four|trial]], Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' You could've made that more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:''' But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you ''seriously'' believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, whi-whi... whi-while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching [[South Park]] in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me.

'''Alec:''' Oh, really? [''Chris keeps talking, Alec has to shout over him''] Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Those are like... especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris? Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But yet, what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' Not your character! Not-- no, Simonla was not your character! She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is, uh, [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like, Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which, by corollary, makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind's a little slow]].

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. So it should be an equally important holiday in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, y'know like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, y'know "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a 100-- It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's... uh, history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16th, I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Mexicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a {{w|Hallmark holiday}}, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

'''Alec:'''Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about [[Chris and his ego|your ego]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote "ego".

'''Alec:''' What, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|You brutally killed me.]]

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a [[dildo]] and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah ''Palin'', actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you [[Down with Asperchu|cursed me]] [[12 January 2010|with the]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|death threats]]?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you [[Chris and religion|claim to be a Christian]], this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] .....I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' ''No'', no, you're not! You don't practice... no, baptism doesn't mean ''shit.'' You don't even ''try'' to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lot to memorize, and it's, and... and it's--

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But ''you'' worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works, alright? God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''frustrated sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla; admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, [[Autism|no, they actually happened.]]

'''Alec:''' [''loud clap; probably Alec facepalming''] Yes, they ''happened'', Chris, but your ''responses'' were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me, uh, get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to go off-topic, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, ['''Alec:''' Sure.] what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''[[Adult Swim|Robot Chicken]]''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, [[Saw|I don't mind gore]], up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was, y'know, meant to be a funny parody of me. See, I don't take myself complete... [''Chris tries to interrupt''] I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10, I will be making less appearances in the book, and--in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] [[Chris and negligence#Art|Well, I overestimated myself!]]

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to, y'know, be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' ''Sonichu'' is your ''job'', Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make him your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he ''is'' your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:''' I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-[''hangs up'']

'''Alec:''' "Mis-"?

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBNTkyWTduZ0JXOXc The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu02fNtlmdQ YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Chris and anger

2026-04-19T03:45:05Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Articleofthenow}}
 

<center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}</center>

{{Quote|I'm not a man who likes to keep rage constantly in my [[heart level|heart]].|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], [[List of Chris's lies|lying through his]] [[fangs|teeth]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3]]</ref>}}

To call Chris an angry person would be an understatement. Chris has '''anger''' management issues that usually surface when he is under [[stress]]. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as "'''tard rage'''", an expression normally used to describe the seemingly [[100_2278|superhuman strength]] a normally mild-tempered [[slow-in-the-mind]] displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case, "superhuman" and "strength" can easily be replaced with "impotent" and "bawling".

==Causes of Chris's anger==
[[Image:Rawr fag.jpg|thumb|[[12_January_2010#Part_2|A typical fit of tard rage.]]]]

Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]], whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Borb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him up in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]] when he was a year old. Ironically, Chris did the same to himself up until the date of his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] at almost age 40.

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could have been his late father, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely have been afraid to retaliate against the things Bob did that annoyed him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob Walks In|cutting down Chris's access to the web]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that up until 30 years of age, Chris was a [[virgin]]. Being a virgin seemed to make Chris feel like he was entitled to be allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only [[Mass debating|mass debated]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he may have had large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just needed to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme. Even after finally losing his virginity, however, Chris's anger issues persisted; a few days after he engaged in hanky-panky with [[Mia Hamm]], Chris ended his 2-year hiatus from [[Twitter]] just to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]].

Furthermore, Chris is [[autistic]] and therefore lacks an understanding of the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry, he sees no reason why he shouldn't go positively ''nuts''. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces have shown that autistic ''children'' can be very short-tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child – he is an autistic ''adult'', and while most other autistics learn how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they're in their 30s, Chris hasn't. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'', which is apparently directly brought about by Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that it's his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years. Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough.

==Examples of Chris's anger==
[[File:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|Now with the Blachu Medallion.]]

The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered confusing, to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage, he began to shout "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]" at several [[jerkop]]s who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Walmart]]. In general, Chris expresses anger like an Internet tough guy would do, [[A Message to the Trolls|taking out his anger on a video camera]] knowing that it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash, where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat up representations of people he disliked in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared of expressing his anger in real life, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|PVCC]] for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

{{quote|I had to meet her in her office, and I got angry at her then. yada, yada, yada; anger management and all that. [...] I pretended I was talking with Sonichu, and he talked through me, and I cursed Mary with a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack.|[[Jackie Chat 5]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video, Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|strangle him]] someday, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact that Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the fictional death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes. His cameras would also benefit from some relief, as he often punches them to dramatically end his more rage-infused videos.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day," or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to how jarring it is to go from yelling [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|"get everything off the internet ''now'', '''''now, NOW, NOWNOWNOWNOOOOOW!!!!'''''"]] to "Curse the trolls, peace to everyone else" immediately afterward.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the [[law|police]]. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash]].}}

Occasionally, when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two e-mails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]] — the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all-caps phrase. The second sounds angrier and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about.}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. [[Chris and English|SURLY]] you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as the reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700.}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video, a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll, and Chris beat it like a spoiled 3-year-old who smashes a plate of broccoli because he didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value; he was merely able to tear off the clown's hat. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proved to us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box, but is unable to go through light-press wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal to his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the Chris Loses It video.}}

Another example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people, even on the telephone. When Chris mistakenly believed that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had hacked his website, he left an [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|angry voicemail]]. In the [[Father Call]], Chris quickly became rude to [[Kacey]]'s father, Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his [[health]] and his attitude; he even seemingly threatened Matthew after he called Chris [[naïve]], only backing down when Chris was reminded he was making threats to a former Marine. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and was completely oblivious to the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got his [[Barbera Chandler|mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his [[speech impediment|stammering]] and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|adoring fans]], another factor that caused Chris some notable grief was discovered to be the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger's syndrome.}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to believe that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his Ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person]].

A rare example where Chris's anger manifested into physical violence against others would be the infamous [[26_December_2014|blarms incident]] where he maced a GameStop employee during his [[Sonic Boom Protests|war on Sonic's new arm color.]]

==Decline of the tard raging==
In recent years, Chris's behavior has generally started to get much less aggressive. Possible reasons for this include medication, effects of therapy, becoming more relaxed in his older age, or an increasing (but not perfect) resistance to trolls and [[weens]] brought on by years of wear.

Some of Chris's medication is credited for anxiety relief by him, including Paxil/Paroxetine, an unspecified blood-pressure prescription, and Valium.<ref name=meds>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref> He attended therapy after the [[pepper spray]] incident and apparently learned new methods of coping. An example of this can be seen in the revised [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which includes a text that appears to be inspired by a therapy session.

For examples of trolling which didn't elicit rage, Chris did not go into a fit when the [[Jeff/Francine]] troll tried to "steal" his identity, making videos on it but refraining from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|screaming as he did during the Liquid Saga]]. [[Michael Hirtes]]'s attempts to troll him were almost always met by Chris simply blocking his multiple accounts, until Chris gave up and just "[disabled notifications] with this kid, and let him go on". Similarly, in response to [[PewDiePie]]'s video dedicated entirely to Chris, instead of complaining about him making that video, which is completely devoted to criticizing him, Chris instead simply requested that he direct message him.

On the other hand, examples of when Chris recently raged include threatening [[Lulu]]'s executives with violence, [[Pmurt]]'s presidency, [[August 2017 tweets|becoming angry at weens when they hassled Nowacking about him]], [[HarassCWCdirectly|getting angry about weens harassing Doopie to get into her pants]], [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|having a meltdown when he thought trolls ruined his relationship with Jessica Quinn]], and [[Twitter_blocks_from_TF2_Analysis_crew|raging]] at weens who got him [[Apologies_to_the_liked_Bronies_and_Pegasisters;_PLEASE_UNBLOCK_ME_ON_TWITTER!|blocked]] by several people in the My Little Pony fandom which he follows. This shows that some things still trigger Chris more than others.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My Bad Side
| ytid = SyYGgtN7s9M
| Stardate = 18 January 2012
| Maker = GhostofBillRiley
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ultimate Chris Chan Rage Compilation (1998-2021)
| ytid = Kh9G-orVDYM
| Stardate = 28 October 2021
| Maker = Shkrugg McSchlugg
| Subject = Rage
| Video Type = Compilation
| Other Info =
}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]
*[[:Category:Videos with RAGE|Videos with Rage]]

{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}

List of Love Quest candidates

2026-04-17T03:45:40Z

FromtheWordsofBR: I got Emily/Kim/etc. mixed up with Thetan

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times inappropriate advances on them, others threw themselves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candidates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==Key==

Every entry listed in this article is split into 3 separate categories:


#'''Sweethearts-to-be''' - Candidates that Chris had seen as potential sweethearts that weren't troll personas, most of which had shown no affection back towards him.
#'''Catfishers''' - Personas that were created by trolls, pretending to pursue a relationship with Chris
#'''Fabricated''' - Lovers that Chris had made up.

==The Women (and Men) in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Sarah was the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]]. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb-infested space, and tried to convince him to eat a honeysuckle. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris felt there was a romantic rivalry between the two of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time. Wes, enviously, barely even knew Chris. His pursuit of Sarah came to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding, but attended "[[Sonichu 5|in spirit]]") and he found [[Megan Schroeder|another girl to crush over]].

{{clear}}

===[[Tiffany Robinson]]===

Tiffany is a former gal pal of Chris's from the days he lived in [[Richmond]], and was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref> In 2021, Chris said that she lived "somewhere beyond Standardsville" [sic] and that he had a crush on her.<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts]]</ref> Her current whereabouts, or if she is aware of Chris anymore, are unknown.

===[[Natasha Turner]]===

[[File:0152-NatashaTurner95.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Natasha is a former gal pal Chris met at [[Providence Middle School]]. They were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes. She was slightly older than him and a "good girl". For a while he had a crush on her until he saw her [[Tobacky|smoking]]: "That was It for me right there".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref><ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Messages]]</ref>

{{clear}}

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:0281-LauraBDorazio97.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

During his sophomore year, Chris began pursuing '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader. Laura was Chris's first major [[high school]] crush. Despite being told that she merely saw him as a "friend", Chris's infatuation would continue even after graduating high school; he habitually pored over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her foreshadowed behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris appeared to have taken no for an answer, but still obsessed over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

{{clear}}

===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]] or general inattentiveness with proposing to her. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a [[JERK|firefighter]] with two children. Kellie cut off all ties from Chris as soon as she discovered the video where Chris [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|simulates licking Jackie's vagina]].

{{clear}}

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris developed feelings for. Compared to other high-school gal pals, Tiffany has shown the most compassion towards Chris. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his [[My_big_18th_party|18th birthday party]]. After learning that Chris brought his [[Barb|mom]] to prom as his date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance out of pity, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. All of this kindness directed towards him made Chris consider Tiffany to be a potential sweetheart. Like most of his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school. Despite this, Chris was still convinced that were they to meet again he would have a shot. Chris expands on these fantasies in "[[The High School Story]]" about the prom dance with genderswapped counterparts of Tiffany and himself, which is followed by the cross gendered Tiffany proposing marriage. Efforts by Chris to track down Tiffany had intensified by 2013, up until the troll [[Thetan]] had impersonated several high-school gal-pals and convinced him that there were no mutual feelings between the two of them.

{{clear}}

===[[Sarah Anne Bevel]]===
[[File:0323-SarahBevelY2K.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]

'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' is a former gal-pal who was classmates with Chris at high school. She and Kellie were Chris's lab partners in chemistry class, sat with him at lunch, and attended his 18th birthday party. Sarah and her boyfriend were the only couple Chris was aware of during high school, who stated that "It was fun to just to watch them flirt with each other; I've could've learned from that, but my Autism and normal social phobias held me back then."<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts#CWC Note 5]]</ref> Like his other school gal-pals, he lost contact with Sarah after graduating, with her even stating she no longer knew Chris when he tried to recontact her years later.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Baffled]]</reF> Eventually, Sarah (really Thetan in disguise) informed Chris that his gal-pals had only acted like Chris's friends because "we felt sorry for him", in an attempt to try and get Chris to leave her alone.

{{Clear}}

===[[Molly Quarles]]===
[[File:0328-MollyQuarles97.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]

Molly is a former high school classmate of Chris. She was a cheerleader during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. He remembered her as "a happy, giggly kind-of gal, and she was fun to be around". Chris recalled being paired up in a "dating match-up thing" held for Valentine's Day at Manchester High. According to Chris, it was "the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref>

{{Clear}}

===[[Anna McLerran|Anna]]===
[[File:Anamc.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]

'''Anna McLerran''' was an employee of the PacSun at Fashion Square Mall, who became a gal-pal of Chris by [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|sheer chance]]. Although she had no romantic feelings towards Chris, rejecting his advances by telling him she was a Morman and a lesbian, Anna became one of Chris's longest-lasting friends and [[white knights]] to date.

{{clear}}

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

Hanna was one of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart as well the first woman Chris had ever dated. A Starbucks employee at the Fashion Square Mall, Chris's interactions with '''Hanna "Fandanna"''' predate even the incident in which the Man In the Pickle Suit stole Emily. Initially keeping Hanna's identity anonymous, Chris detailed his encounter with her in one of his [[MySpace]] posts. An acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]], Hanna had asked Chris out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%; this was a severe tumble from its recent gains from 20% to 100%. Chris claimed in a chat with [[Vivian Gee]] that he had let out a big "NO" while on his knees, which would prompt [[jerkops|mall officers]] to temporarily kick him out of the [[mall]].

{{clear}}

===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended [[PVCC]]. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open with him about her personal life, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with her. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable (or unwilling) to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

{{clear}}

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], when Chris met her at the [[GAMe PLACe]]. Both being into card games, the two naturally formed a sort of friendship. Megan would ask Chris to [[ebay|buy several things]] for her in emails, to which Chris would happily oblige. Chris took an interest in fandoms that Megan was into, such as [[My Little Pony]] and [[anime]]. All seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. Things would take a turn for the worse in late [[2005]] to [[2006]] when he grew more obsessed with Megan, [[Sailor Megtune|putting her in his comics]] and making inappropriate advances on her. Both of these things greatly upset Megan, which lead to Chris reconning her from the comic. Things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|moderators]] on the [[PlayStation]] website decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, wishing harm on the 1st place winner's family, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove Megan away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

{{clear}}

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

[[Joshua Martinez]] roleplayed as a Latin American/Spanish girl, '''Lori Lopez''', who Chris met through [[MySpace]], in November 2007, making her (him) the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about Chris's relationship with Lori during their short time together. Joshua attempted to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

{{clear}}

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]

A girl Chris met online around [[August 2008]]. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu comics]]. Things went swimmingly between the two until Chris began having suspicions about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his [[medallion|medallions]], Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

{{clear}}
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu comics]]. She met Chris around the same time he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]].

{{clear}}

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in [[September 2008]], who Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards [[Ivy]], which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

{{clear}}

===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a [[GameStop]]. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

{{clear}}

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]

A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate Chris was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

{{clear}}

===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]

'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly [[boyfriend-free]] waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had a crush on. Chris mentioned an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin commented on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his [[PSP]], which led Chris to believe that she was interested in him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his [[Sonichu.net|Sonichu website]] in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

{{clear}}
===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. To please Julie, Chris performed number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recorded them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Julie's brother [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]] held her against her will. Chris mounted a daring rescue, [[Ohio trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max put Chris through the wringer, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by a 13-year-old boy with ''way'' too much free time.

{{clear}}
===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the privilege of dating. Sadly, their time together was cut short when a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] whisked her away during the date. Emily was soon the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on his lawn]], and taking the role as his trollsome gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]].

{{clear}}

===[[Kim Wilson|Kim]]===
[[File:Kimwilson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Kim Wilson''' was one of Emily's pseudonyms, though Chris genuinely believed her to be [[Facial blindness|an entirely different person]] until watching an episode of [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]]. Of note is how Chris had revealed that he had been spooning his mother after Emily, while under the Kim persona, had denied wanting to be in a relationship with him. Chris had also asked if they would repopulate the Earth if they were the only two people in existence, and awkwardly declined the scenario of [[Affair with Mother|him and his mom repopulating the planet]].

{{clear}}

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Ivy O'Neil''' was another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing Ivy after she requested a video shout-out from him, not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own [[semen]], and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

{{clear}}
===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]

Vanessa Hudgens is an actress who, in between working on the ''High School Musical'' franchise, had an affair with Chris. '''S'''he '''H'''ad '''E'''xchanged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[Facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted Chris's [[naïve]]ty, and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[china]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

{{clear}}

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Faeryn "Hambeast"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

{{clear}}

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over by impersonating Liquid in a few calls, with the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. During their relationship, Kacey would encourage him to eat healthier, clean up his room and throw out things he didn’t need, and get a job. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey later broke up with Chris and married Liquid.

{{clear}}

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris. Chris, of course, believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

{{clear}}

===[[Bailey Jay|Bailey]]===
[[File:BaileyJay.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Bailey Jay''' interacted with Chris in the CWCipedia's [[Mailbag]], where she attempted to seduce him, which Chris replied to by calling her "pretty", hoping she finds a lover. When Bailey revealed she was a "hermaphrodite", Chris showed mixed feelings, still calling her "pretty", but also expressing utter shock. Other trolls took note of Chris's reaction, and they began to ask him more questions about "hermaphrodites" in later mailbags.

{{clear}}

==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Antaria"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Having learned nothing from the Megan drama, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that she was asexual. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris feuded with her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]].

{{clear}}

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from [[April 2010|April]] to [[October 2010]]. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encouraging him to play less video games. Still, she influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself. He was prodded into doing a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

{{clear}}

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-[[2014]], the first woman to troll him after the [[Bob Chandler#Later life, poor health and death|death of his father]], after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in [[July 2014]]. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Date with Catherine|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in [[September 2014]] for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in [[December 2014]].

{{clear}}

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]

'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel [[Planet Dolan]], and a cohost on the Lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her [[Patreon]] after being harassed by [[weens]], as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. Most importantly of all, she severed ties because Chris was making her uncomfortable personally. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

{{clear}}

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a [[white knight]] in [[2015]]. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in [[September 2017]]. Jessica and Chris then entered a complicated relationship on [[Facebook]]. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and [[Barb]] to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that [[October 2017|October]]. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin [[Kiwi Farms]] and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video, Quinn's account shut down; she blamed Chris for this, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. This was to be their final breakup and caused him to have his biggest tard rage video since his correspondence with [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was immersed in the Idea Guy Saga and Quinn found herself thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in [[March 2018]] due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart did not end there.

{{clear}}

===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

{{clear}}

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], and [[Pickchu]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]

Chris initiated a [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. In the past Chris had been strongly opposed to the idea of falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with [[Meg Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]]. His stance softened as he realized that he might never find a sweetheart in real life; by settling for his own fictional creations, he could end his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his harem.
This would unfortunately fail to keep Chris satisfied for long; he eventually started a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

Chris claims to have updated the polygomous marriage in a [[Jail Letter]], stating that he now consider's [[Helena Fiorenza]]'s OC, Pickchu, to be part of his "harem".

{{clear}}

===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingz''' was one of the regular members of the [[white knight]] group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

{{clear}}

===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in [[September 2018]] and had a stroke of luck in [[July 2019]] when Chris followed him on [[Twitter]]. Despite Chris's blatant [[homophobia]] during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Jacob was forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in [[September 2019]], but Chris still kept in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe Jacob is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in [[August 2020]].

{{clear}}
===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Eevee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a [[medallion]] for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “[[CPU|CPU goddess]] of the Nintendo Switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which led to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend-free girl.

{{clear}}

===[[Annabel]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annabel Ikenberry''', also going by '''Annirenee''', was a [[Praetor]] member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

{{clear}}

===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke''' is a commissions artist who [[Praetor]] hired to make the [[Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation]]. Afterwards, Chris began conversing with her. In [[February 2021]], he listed her as among the women he'd been considering for a relationship.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref>

Bella also claimed to friends that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her at the [[Everfree Northwest]] convention rather than [[Fiona]],<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> and that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her despite her never leading him on.<ref>[[Bella and Fiona chats#Sets 2]]</ref>

{{clear}}

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

Despite this, Chris would also meet one more woman who actually ''wanted'' to get it on with Chris. In a cruel twist of fate, she would end up exposing Chris's incest with his mother.

{{clear}}

===[[Fiona]]===

[[File:Fiona.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A young woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref name=bellafiona>[[Bella and Fiona chats]]</ref>, and possibly the youngest candidate to date. Incredibly, she had formed a genuine crush on Chris. Fiona was in contact with Chris by [[July 2021|mid-July 2021]] and [[Fiona Facetime Videos|the two made video calls]] including one in which they simulated kissing each other. Fiona recounted an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him.<ref name=bellafiona></ref> Chris agreed to have sex with her claiming that doing so would improve her "mental and emotional development". Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and Fiona and Bella got in contact over DMs. On 27 July, Bella recorded the [[Incest Call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Fiona the following day. Fiona shared an edited four minute version of the call with the [[Chris Chan Conservation Collective]] Discord server, which was leaked to YouTube by fellow server member EllDudeRocks. This ultimately lead to Chris getting put in jail after concerned observers reported on this activity.

{{clear}}

===[[Flutter]]===
[[File:Flutter.png|thumb|left|100px]]

Flutter is a woman who had first contacted Chris sometime [[Jail Saga|during his stay in jail]], and eventually started meeting up with him in-person after his release from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Starting in [[September 2023]], the two of them have been frequently sighted in public together numerous times, causing speculation as to who exactly she was and if the two were in a relationship. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|a video]] from October 2023, Chris disputed rumors that Flutter was his girlfriend, stating they were [[Friend zone|just friends]], and also said that despite her young child-like appearance, she is apparently in her 30s. Later, when pushed about it by the [[Ween|weens]], he has also claimed not to [[March 2024 social media posts#Bitches and Barbussy|need bitches]] anymore. Flutter was also spotted possibly [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#CVS|being molested]] in public, something women don't particularly enjoy, which puts it into question even further.

{{clear}}
{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Weston

2026-04-17T03:39:22Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Dab}}
'''Weston''' is a surname (or middle name) that has belonged to the following individuals:
* [[Daniel Weston]], Barbara's supposed ancestor.
* [[Francis Weston]], one of Barbara's actual ancestors
* [[Barbara Chandler]], born as Barbara Ann Weston.
* Our protagonist [[Christian Weston Chandler]], who has retained "Weston" as his middle name throughout his life.

The Kevin and Bean Show Segment

2026-04-17T03:35:57Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''''The Kevin and Bean Show'' Segment''' is an 8-minute radio clip from [[May 2009]], in which the hosts of the self-titled ''The {{w|Kevin and Bean}} Show'' on {{w|KROQ-FM}} in California find [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|one of Chris's Captain's Logs]] and comment on it. For the most part of it, they are horrified; so horrified that they spend ''two and a half minutes'' giving "Viewer Discretion is Advised" warnings before they actually get around to playing it.

This clip is one of two radio segments that were aired about [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and his antics, the other being the [[Toucher and Rich Segment]].

==Transcript==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|bhu8ltBl2_U}}</center>

===Viewer discretion is advised===

'''Bean:''' --he's just a weird, geeky guy and he-- ''[audio cuts off]'' ...you're not usually a stellar choice, but tomorrow, you'll find out why it's '[[wikipedia:Top_Gun|Top Gun]] Day'. Apparently there's a new holiday joining the calender, guys, that we didn't know about. Top Gun Day.

'''Kevin:''' Hmmm...!

'''Bean:''' Find out more about that, also actor [[wikipedia:Steve_Zahn|Steve Zahn]]'s gonna be joining us tomorrow. Look, uh, this video we're about to talk about is up at the Kevin and Bean section of KROQ.com. ''I'm'' wondering if this is a ''real'' guy with, you know, he's just a weird geeky guy and he's speaking from the heart or if this is going to turn out to be the next "Borat". This is some sort of comedy genius ['''Lisa May:''' Wow.] and [[Rollin' and Trollin'|this is just a crazy character he's created]]. What do you guys think?

'''Kevin:''' Hold up one second.

'''Viewer discretion warning 1:''' The reenactments and commentary in this program may contain frank talk of a sexual nature. Viewer discretion is advised. ''['''Bean''' laughs during this]''

'''Bean:''' Alright, now that we got that in...

'''Kevin:''' H-Hang on.

'''Viewer discretion warning 2:''' The following program contains adult language and subject matter, viewer discretion advised.

'''Bean:''' Right, so he turns the camera... [''laughs'']

'''Viewer discretion warning 3:''' This program contains sexually explicit dialogue. Viewer discretion is advised.

'''Bean:''' He's a guy, he looks like he's--

'''Viewer discretion warning 4:''' ''[an audio clip of Cartman from [[South Park]]]'' These images may be too shocking for young children.

'''Kevin:''' Alright, 'kay, go ahead.

'''Bean:''' --he's sitting, he's sitting in a--

'''Viewer discretion warning 5:''' ''[an audio clip from To Catch a Predator]'' A warning: some of what you're about to see and hear is explicit.

'''Kevin:''' Alright, go ahead.

'''Bean:''' --he seems to be sitting in his bedroom and he is describing things that he likes to do and I can't imagine-- I mean, I don't-- I can't put myself in the position of a guy who would want to video tape this and put it up on the internet for people to know these sorts of things about him so I figure, well, there must be some other reason he's got.

'''Kevin''' It ''sounds''-- by the way, if he's an actor, he's a ''genius''.

'''Lisa May:''' ''Yes.''

'''Kevin:''' It sounds like he's gotten some responses to videos that he has already video taped of himself and put up online. And other--

'''Bean:''' He also has his own little [[YouTube]] channel, ['''Kevin:''' Yes.] and he's developed a ''cult'' of people who can't believe the stuff that he talks about.

'''Bean:''' Yes.

'''Viewer discretion warning 6:''' Parental discretion is advised.

'''Bean:''' Alright, so, um, this is ''him''...

'''Viewer discretion warning 7:''' The American Humane Association monitored the animal action. No animal was harmed in the making of this program. ''['''Lisa May''' laughs during this]''

'''Bean:''' Alright, here we go.

'''Viewer discretion warning 8:''' If you have little children and you allow them to listen to the following conversation, you are a bad parent. A ''really'' bad parent. You are seriously ''[censored]'' up. You with your illegitimate kids and your bad judgment and whatnot. ''['''Bean''', throughout: Alright. Alright, okay.]

'''Bean:''' Alright. He's a little bit of an [[obesity|overweight]] guy with a [[hair|receding hairline]], he's wearin' the, y'know, the [[Chris and fashion|polo shirt]], and he's in what looks like his [[chris's room|bedroom]] with... it has to be dozens and dozens of action figures behind him. He looks like he'd be a sci-fi geek.

'''Kevin:''' He looks like--

'''Bean:''' He's not talking about sci-fi.

'''Kevin:''' He looks like he's in his late... twenties, maybe even thirty. Which makes--

'''Lisa May:''' [[Chris and health|Aging badly]].

'''Kevin:''' Which makes it all the more disturbing.

'''Lisa May:''' Yeah.

'''Viewer discretion warning 9:''' This program contains graphic images that may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. The people profiled all survived. Discretion is advised. ['''Bean:''' Alright...]

''[The presenters all laugh]''

'''Bean:''' You won't wanna survive though after you hear it, here's the-- here's the dude.

===Playing the video===

:'''Chris:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log, uh, Stardate April 28th 2009]].

'''Bean:''' ''Anyone'' that starts with [[Captain's Log]], Stardate...

'''Lisa May:''' Yeah.

'''Kevin:''' You've got a guy who believes he's living on the bridge of the Enterprise.

'''Bean:''' That's correct, yes.

:'''Chris:''' Uhh... a-about... it's- it's a...good idea some-uhhh, if uh it's a good idea, but, uh.

'''Kevin:''' Now, he's referring to a video that he put up that people are questioning.

'''Lisa May:''' Mkay.

'''Kevin:''' They're saying, "Why would you do that?". So he's referring to-- I think it's a good idea if it doesn't bother you, but if it does bother you, then you don't have to do it.

'''Bean:''' What's he talking about?

'''Kevin:''' ... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|you'll find out]].

:'''Chris:''' You know you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but... I [[recycling|recycle]] my own [''here, the word "[[semen]]" has been beeped out.'']

'''Bean:''' Oh, wow.

:'''Chris:''' Yes, I recycle it.

'''Bean:''' Okay, you could use your imagination, but it's something that comes out of the body.

'''Kevin:''' Yeah and it's... yeah.

'''Bean:''' And by the way... it seems to me, I think this is a rule of thumb, nothing that comes out of the body, needs to be saved or recycled...

'''Kevin:''' [''Laughs in the background'']

'''Lisa May:''' No...

'''Bean:''' ...or treasured, right.

'''Lisa May:''' ...no, just let it go.

'''Bean:''' Whatever fluids or solids you're imagining right now, all of those should be done away with, there's a reason they're expelled from the body, no reason to try to save that stuff.

'''Kevin:''' That's correct. Or recyc-- this is taking recycling maybe a little too far, is what we're saying.

:'''Chris:''' Anyway, the—anyway, af—from after that the, uh, second topic, the, uh, one where I spanked myself.

'''Bean:''' Okay, here's another video he's talking about where he apparently spanks himself.

:'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just, uh, I was doin' that for fun, because, y'know, sometimes I do random, silly, crazy things...

'''Kevin:''' [''chuckle'']

:'''Chris:''' and, uh... ''sometimes'' adults feel pleasure from pain...

'''Kevin:''' Alright, now this is where he gets into his big thing which is "I'm an adult, and adults act this way".

'''Lisa May:''' Is he assuming I'm a child?

'''Kevin:''' I don't know what he's assuming.

'''Lisa May:''' Because he's kind of talking to me like I'm a child.

'''Kevin:''' But I can tell you that I've never done this, I've never really spanked myself on camera.

'''Lisa May:''' But you're an adult!

'''Kevin:''' But I've never done-- I've ''never'' spanked myself on camera.

'''Lisa May:''' Huh.

:'''Chris:''' ...even when they, uh, do it to themselves. Just, like, you know, spanking is, uh, generally a pop— generally a popular type, uh, thing amongst adults. And then the, uh, third topic which was the—uh, the photographs of, uh, me in, uh... [[Butt garments|'dult diapers]].

'''Kevin:''' Okay so the dude... the dude recycles when he shouldn't.

'''Lisa May:''' Right.

'''Kevin:''' Uh, the dude spanks, and now the dude wears diapers.

'''Lisa May:''' Why does the dude wear diapers?

:'''Chris:'''...regalry—legularly I, uh, do not use them, but I just felt like trying a pair on. And it was okay.

'''Kevin:''' He ''felt'' like trying a pair on, he wanted to see what the sensation was like!

'''Lisa May:''' They're diapers!

'''Kevin:''' Yes.

'''Bean:''' How busy is this guy that he can't walk from his bedroom to the bathroom? Now, and here's where it gets interesting, because he ''again'' refers to the fact that he's an adult and who hasn't worn a diaper? ''['''Lisa May''' laughs]'' Y'know, like, who hasn't done that?

:'''Chris:''' ...and sometimes I do, uh, I get very [[Stress|stressed out]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] it just tends to just build up and sometimes, I just have to—it just comes out, and I sometimes accidentally, uh... poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, [bleep] their underwear...

'''Kevin:''' Umm, me?

'''Lisa May:''' Me too?

'''Bean:''' Everyone, probably?

'''Lisa May:''' Put me in that category.

'''Kevin:''' Who hasn't? So first he says "I wanted to feel the sensation- I wanted to feel what it was like", but then who hasn't needed one, and had to have one?

'''Bean:''' Ewwww.

'''Lisa May:''' Wooooow.

:'''Chris:''' ...at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human.

'''Bean:''' That's true.

:'''Chris:''' ...nothing to be ashamed of. And...

'''Kevin:''' I'd like to suggest that there ''is'' something to be ashamed of if you're doing that to yourself.

'''Lisa May:''' [''laughing''] Yes, I agree.

'''Kevin:''' Perhaps that should be, there should be some shame involved.

'''Bean:''' But I go back to my original question before we heard from this nutjob, is why would you put stuff like this up there on the internet? Is it a sexual turn-on to talk about this stuff or ''is he playing us''? What do you guys think?

'''Lisa May:''' I don't think he's playing us!

'''Kevin:''' I don't know if he's playing us and I...I don't know if it's in the tape because we did have to edit some of it believe it or not for standards and practices and whatnot, but I get the suggestion that he was being asked to do it by [[Ivy|a girl]].

'''Lisa May:''' Well, if ''that guy's'' got a girl he should do whatever she says.

[''the others laugh'']

'''Bean:''' Never get another one.

:'''Chris:''' And to [[trolls|those who find it amusing]], uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions.

'''Kevin:''' Alright.

:'''Chris:''' With that, I just want to continue to make it perfectly clear that I am a [[Chris and Health|healthy]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] [[Obesity|growing]], ['''Kevin:''' Right.] [[Chris Loses It|sane]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] and [[Chris and Reality|sound-minded]], uh, adult individual.

'''Bean:''' Yep! We'll make that count!
:'''Chris:''' And I should continue to be treated and respected as an equal among the human population just as anybody else.

'''Bean:''' I'm gonna say "no".

[''Lisa is overcome with laughter'']

'''Bean:''' How did he have time to film this video when ''[[wikipedia:Star Trek (film)|Star Trek]]'' opened this weekend?

'''Kevin:''' I don't know. And he's holding a [[video game]] controller! He's not playing a video game but he's holding it and messing with it the whole time he's talking.

'''Bean and Lisa:''' Wow.

'''Kevin:''' Like it's [[CWCville|a security blanket]] or something, helps him feel a bit better about it.

'''Sound Bite:''' This is finally the best reason-- the best, most solid justification I've heard for the [[Internet]].

[''Presenters laugh, tape ends'']

==See also==
*[[Toucher and Rich Segment]]
*[[Opie and Anthony]]
*[[WTFIWWY Segment]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?bzp6vm4q0bx65s2 Audio download]

[[Category: Media that has been published in real life]]

August 2009

2026-04-17T03:00:33Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|On '''1 August 2009''' [[Liquid]] responds to Chris's [[SingStar Challenge]].]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|On '''8 August 2009''' Chris provides us with risqué material of [[Rosechu]]. Again.]]
[[Image:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|thumb|300px|Cover for [[Sonichu 11]], drawn '''13 August 2009'''.]]
[[Image:Sonichu_Rosechu_Save_McIntire_by_Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|400px|On '''17 August 2009''', Chris holds up this board at a [[Charlottesville]] Council Meeting.]]
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|300px|On '''27 August 2009''', Chris shows high levels of tard-rage over the portrayal of this piece of property.]]
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|350px|On '''31 August 2009''', Chris tells his gal-pal [[Kacey]] that he has split personalities.]]

'''August''' was the eighth month of '''[[2009]]'''. The first half was dominated by a large war between Chris and the troll [[CChanSonichuCWC]], better known as "Liquid Chris," about who is the real Christian Weston Chandler. It also slowly became apparent that Chris had his eyes on Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. As the month drew to an end, [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] complained about video footage of the messy Chandler household being on the internet, fearing that the county's health department could kick them out of their house. Chris tried his best to get the trolls to take these videos down, but the more he pleaded, the more the videos spread. Eventually, Bob [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut Version|shouted at Chris]] for his incompetence. The month ended with Chris making a short-lived attempt to get the trolls to believe that he had a split personality.

==Events of August 2009==

* '''1 August'''
** Chris uploads [[SingStar Challenge Round 1#I_PRESSED_PLAY|the first SingStar video]], addressing early accusations of him cheating.
** [[Liquid Chris]] uploads [[SingStar Challenge Round 1#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|his first video]] for the [[SingStar Challenge]].
** [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|Chris tells Katie Bay]] how the judging will work for the challenge.
* '''2 August'''
** Chris uploads his [[SingStar Challenge Round 2#IBAChandler's Entry|second video]] to the challenge, "Don't Say You Love Me" by M2M.
** Chris tells Katie he deliberately uploaded the song an hour before midnight in the hope that Liquid will be disqualified. However...
** Liquid uploads his [[SingStar_Challenge Round 2#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|second video]], "''Fresh Prince of Bel Air'' Theme" by Will Smith. (This entry is disqualified for ad-libbing.)
** [[Trolls]] list Chris's [[Son-Chu|94 Ford Escort]] for sale on [[Craigslist]], and then [[Car Pranks|call him up about it]]
* '''3 August'''
** Chris uploads his [[SingStar_Challenge Round_3#IBAChandler's Entry|third SingStar entry]], "Autumn Goodbye", and a harassing video "bonus".
** Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|thanks]] the [[trolls]] for documenting his life.
** In an [[Gal Pal E-mails|email]], Chris asks one of his gal pals for help with his printer.
** [[Kacey]] calls Chris, and he makes a [[Kacey Phone Call|complete fool out of himself]].
** Throughout the day, Chris and Katie Bay exchange [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|numerous emails]] regarding the SingStar Challenge and his convoluted plan to persuade [[Kacey]] to have sex with him.
* '''4 August'''
** Liquid uploads [[SingStar_Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|his third SingStar entry]], dedicated to his True and Honest Sweetheart. Hearts around the world melt.
** Liquid uploads [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Bonus_Video|Challenge Video BONUS: #3]], explaining the history of his parents, revealing what, according to him, [[IBAChandler]]'s real name is, and including a mugshot of Chris.
** Chris [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|demands]] the truth from [[Liquid Chris]] and admits that he (Solid Chris) is retarded.
** Chris uploads a [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|video]] showing how he draws Sonichu, in another attempt to get the truth out to Kacey.
** Chris uploads his fourth entry, [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_4#IBAChandler.27s_Entry|"The Touch", by Stan Bush]].
** Liquid uploads his fourth entry, [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_4#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|"Think Twice" by Eve 6]], as a threat to the impostor, IBAChandler. He also picks "Smell Yo Dick" by Riskay as Chris's encore song.
** [[Kacey Call 2|Kacey calls Chris]] who, still impersonating Liquid, tries to ease her into meeting him.
** [[Kacey]], [[sweetheart]] of Liquid, releases a [[For Kacey from CWC|video]] she had received from [[Chris]] the previous day.
** [[Kacey Call 3|Kacey calls Chris again]] and yells about his sleazy attempt to impersonate her boyfriend.
** [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Chris sends an email]] to [[Vivian Gee]] explaining that he has become a better person thanks to his trolls, including Vivian. Vivian sees through the message, and claims he still hasn't understood yet.
** Chris lets Katie Bay know about how he screwed up his chance with Kacey.
* '''5 August'''
** Chris uploads [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#IBAChandler's Initial Entry|his version of "Smell Yo Dick"]], and replaces every instance of "dick" with [[duck]], which resulted in Liquid [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#Caught Cheating|expressing outrage]] against the fake Chris for ad-libbing. As a result, Chris deletes the video and uploads [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|Smell Yo D***" with the corrected lyrics]] and reuploads the first trial of the song.
** Katie Bay asks Chris if he's doing anything by way of an apology to Kacey.
* '''6 August'''
** Liquid uploads his fifth and final entry, [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|"Lift Up Your Eyes" by The Planetshakers]].
** Chris tells Katie Bay that he's spoken with Kacey again and she has calmed down. He is jealous of Liquid.
** Chris writes an "Address to the Homosexuals" for the [[CWCipedia]].
* '''7 August''' - Solid Chris uploads a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|video]] in hopes of getting [[Liquid Chris]] to come clean about his identity and to notify him that he needs to redo his fifth SingStar challenge video.
* '''8 August'''
** For the first time in months, Chris comes out with new [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] material. He uploads the first nine pages of [[Episode 20]] to [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_32 CWCipedia].
** Chris tries to enlist Katie Bay in a new stupid plan to take down Liquid Chris.
* '''9 August'''
** Chris founds his third and last [[DeviantART]] account, "CWCipedia."
** Solid Chris uploads a [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|final warning]] to [[Liquid Chris]]. Liquid responds by uploading a [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|phone call]] (with permission of the Feds investigating the SLANDEROUS IMPOSTOR CHRIS) Chris refers to in the video.
* '''10 August'''
** Chris affirms that he is the true Christian Weston Chandler by verifying he is a [[LOOK at the truth!|loser with manboobs]].
** Chris uploads six more pages of [[Episode 20]], to [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_41 CWCipedia].
** Chris and Katie Bay discuss vegetarianism and The White Stripes.
* '''11 August'''
** Chris uploads the [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]], which consists of him sitting in his bedroom pretending to be a radio DJ, giving shout-outs and dedications to various people from his past (almost all of whom were trolls).
** Chris writes a [[Chris's resume|resumé]] for Monster.com.
** Chris and Katie Bay discuss TV shows and video games.
* '''12 August''' - In a [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|new video]], Chris responds disgusted towards the [[Guro]] [[Pedophile]] fanart that has been sent to him.
* '''13 August''' - Chris draws the cover for [[Sonichu 11]].
* '''14 August'''
** Chris [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|screams at Katie Bay]] for voting for Liquid Chris in the [[Singstar Challenge]].
** Chris uploads [[CWC Public Disclaimer]] and the Real Chris [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6Q1yFXgdoQ announces his departure] into adulthood.
* '''15 August'''
** Chris [[:Image:Chris_rages_yet_again.png|rages]] after Vivian Gee promotes the Audiobook Saga on DVD. He later sends an angry e-mail to her about this, claiming he will use counterfeit laws against her.
** Solid [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|reacts]] to Liquid's farewell video.
** [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE.]] is uploaded to Liquid's account, suggesting that Solid has Liquid tied up in his basement.
** Chris uploads [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]], to say that the Singstar contest wasn't to determine who was the real Chris.
** Chris and Katie Bay discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]], publishing, and magic powers.
* '''16 August'''
** Chris uploads a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|video]] where he retracts <s>all</s> ''most'' of his previous [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attacks. At the behest of many, Chris gives a special [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_16th%2C_2009#Light_His_Mind.27s_Darkest_Hour|Forgiveness Blessing]] to CChanSonichuCWC.
** Chris writes a cover letter for his [[Chris's resume|resume]].
** Chris tells Katie Bay he plans to put his resume online today. He explains how he curses people.
* '''17 August'''
** Katie asks Chris when he plans to finish Episode 20 of ''Sonichu''.
** Chris [[McIntire Park#Chris in a Council Meeting|appears at a Charlottesville Council Meeting]] to save [[McIntire Park]].
* '''18 August'''
** Chris tells Katie he's creating a new YouTube account. She criticizes the poster he made for the McIntire Park campaign.
** Chris creates a new YouTube account, ChristianWChandler, and deletes the IBAChandler account.
** Chris uploads a [[CWCFighter]] video where he shows the Internet his martial arts moves.
* '''19 August'''
** Chris tells Katie he will be uploading his comics onto his [[DeviantArt]] account.
** Chris and Vivian exchange e-mails, where Chris attempts to get the FBI to arrest Vivian for the Audiobooks. Vivian, however, claims she can't be sued because she's in France.
* '''20 August''' - Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|announces]] he is uploading new pages from [[Episode 20]], along with the rest of his artwork, on his DeviantArt account while CWCipedia is down.
* '''22 August'''
** Chris tells Katie Bay he's on the verge of getting a job.
** In a new video, Chris refuses to stop drawing the comics and demands [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|R-E-S-T-E-D-C]].
** Chris hits the town with a [[gal pal]], likely [[Kim Wilson]] or [[Kacey]]. Their exact activities aren't too clear besides the little information given from a photo and a brief 2 second video.<ref>[[Chris Chan creepy smile]]</ref>
* '''24 August'''
** Chris tells Katie the job he's seeking is at [[Target]]. This is the [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|last email]] he will send her.
** [[CWCki]] and [[CWCipedia]] return after a grueling, days-long outage at [[110mb]].
* '''27 August'''
** In an [[Gal Pal E-mails|email]], Chris tells a friend that his parents have found out about his [[Tour of Chris's house|video house tour]] and are furious. Chris is deeply [[stress|stressed]].
** Chris uploads a [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|video]] demanding all [[Tour of Chris's house|videos]] and pictures of his house be removed from the Internet.
* '''28 August'''
** Chris and [[Kacey]] [[Kacey Call 4|chat on the phone]]. She tries to persuade him to apply for jobs.
** Chris [[Gal Pal E-mails|informs a friend]] that his parents are still upset and distrustful, and that she should hold off trying to talk to them.
** Chris's last [[DeviantART]] account is banned after only two weeks.
** On [[CWCipedia]], Chris declares that he has been banned from [[DeviantART]].
* '''29 August'''
** In an [[Gal Pal E-mails|email]], Chris says that his parents have calmed down somewhat, and that he has filled out a job application at [[Mal-Wart|WalMart]], but is unsure what his [[tugboat]] will allow.
** Chris and Kacey [[Kacey Call 5|chat]] about jobs, money, and college.
** Chris uploads a [[08292009|video]] telling the [[trolls]] they are going to hell (especially [[homos]]).
** An [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|uncut]] version of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] featuring [[Bob Chandler]] is released by [[Vivian Gee]].
* '''30 August''' - Chris uploads a [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30, 2009|video]], saying that he has received no boxes and that he has a split personality.
* '''31 August''' - Chris and Kacey have another [[Kacey Call 6|phone conversation]]. He pretends to have multiple personalities.
 
 

==References==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

OneyNG

2026-04-16T21:25:45Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Mentions of Chris */

{{Stub}}
{{Infobox Person
|name = Chris O'Neil
|title = OneyNG
|aliases = OneyNG Oney
|image = OneyNG.jpg
|gender = {{gender|gender = male}}
|race = White
|nation = Irish
|saga = {{saga|list|cn}}
}}

'''Chris O'Neil''', better known as '''OneyNG''' or just '''Oney''', is an animator, video game designer, musician, and voice actor, as well as one of [[Spazkid]]'s friends. Oney is best known for his Flash animations and hosting the Let's Play web series OneyPlays. Oney and his friends occasionally referenced and joked about Chris in his OneyPlays series.

==Mentions of Chris==
[[File:Med Oney.png|thumb|left|200px|A Sonichu medallion bought by Oney]]

At some point, when Chris was put in jail following [[26 December 2014|an incident at a local GameStop]], Oney, in response to the Twitter user RubberNinja, posted about a Sonichu medallion that he bought from him on the 28th.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20191021233916/https://twitter.com/oneyng/status/549287362824781824 Twitter]</ref> In he post, he states he is "so glad" to have bought it now.

In the ''Worms: Armageddon'' video "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnG4Nar_hqg worms return like squirmin' germs]" (incidentally, the same video where the memetic "THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!" quote came from), Oney and his friends play the game through maps modeled from PNGs of Chris.

==Back-Talker List==
[[File: ChrisDoxNames.jpeg|thumb|200px|An excerpt from a list of people Chris "doxed" for being "backtalkers" which shows OneyNG's presence on the list.]]

Chris has seemingly taken note of Oney mentioning him in videos, as Oney wound up making Chris disgruntled enough to add his handle on his [[Chandler's List|list for "back-talkers"]]. Predictably, this gained the attention of many of Oney's fans.

Despite obviously being peeved by the jokes that Oney has made about him, a notable exception to this is when Chris had made a Twitter post in response to the video "Oney Plays Animated: Chris Chan's new job", created by Walderp which animates one of the jokes on Oney's series. Chris claims in the Twitter post that this "silly" joke had actually made him laugh.<ref>https://x.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1406094749090594821</ref>

==Twitter Voice Clip==

On 19 [[June 2021]], Chris [https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1406094749090594821 posted an audio recording] through [[Twitter]]'s voice function. It is a recording of Chris reciting and laughing at [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDHGlKMooo8 a joke that was made in an OneyPlays video]. Chris, for a change, took a joke at his expense in stride.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = OneyPlays Twitter Voice Clip
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|n_bvDbzx1rg}}
| stardate = 19 [[June 2021]]
| subject = {{Comedy|text}}
| previous = [[Twitter Voice Clip]]
}}

===Transcript===
'''Chris:''' Oh man, he made me laugh--they made me laugh. ''(chuckles)'' "Why would they call it [[26 December 2014|pepper spray]] if it's not pepper, hmm?" ''(laughs)'' There you go, you got one outta me. ''(laughs again)'' I like that joke! "Why would they call it pepper spray if it's not pepper, hmm?" ''(Chris laughs)''

{{References}}

{{ListSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Twitter]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Ireland]]

Fandoms

2026-04-16T03:51:28Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

Chris's '''fandoms''' are many, and they change frequently. This is a page to catalogue every fandom Chris has shown an interest in.

==Major Fandoms==
Fandoms that have been consistent through most of Chris's life.

===[[Animal Crossing]]===
Chris played Animal Crossing on the Nintendo GameCube and has made several long, tedious videos about it. These videos show he has played the game extensively, as he had paid off the mortgage on the houses (a feat which takes quite a long time to achieve) of ''at least'' four characters. He also had a letter printed in [[Nintendo Power magazine]] about his [[Animal Crossing Documentary]].

===[[Family Guy]]===
Chris rips off a lot of his jokes from ''Family Guy'', although it seems most of its humor goes over his head. To say Chris watches ''Family Guy'' religiously would be an understatement; many of his seemingly overly [[chris and religion|Christian]] views on [[Homos|homosexuality]] appear to be not from the Bible, but rather from what he's heard off ''Family Guy''. This is especially ironic, given that these jokes serve to mock religious fundamentalism.

===[[Gilligan's Island]]===
One of the ancient sitcoms Chris loves to watch. He has mentioned it on several occasions, with a few of the characters even appearing in [[Sonichu 8]].

===[[Guitar Hero]]===
One of his only forms of [[chris and health|exercise]], and has been in a great amount of Chris's videos. He won a [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|$400 GameStop voucher]] in [[2008]] because of this game.
[[file:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|The RAWKSTAR Chris-Chan in action]]

===[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]===
Introduced to Chris by [[Idea Guy]] Joshua Wise as a means of convincing Chris that multiple dimension theory is real in order to manipulate Chris's beliefs.

===[[I Love Lucy]]===
Another fossilized sitcom which Chris references a lot. Two of his cats, ([[Lucy]] and [[Desi]]), are named after the lead characters.

===[[Lego]]===
Lego is one of Chris's obsessions he should've given up at puberty, but still takes up a massive amount of space in his room. He has used it to "build" a few things over the years, including the [[pixelated PS3]], a model version of [[CWCville]], and a [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario Kart racetrack]].

===[[LittleBigPlanet]]===
The closest thing Chris has to "Sonichu: The Game"; LBP and LBP2 are highly customizable platformer games aimed at small children. He has spent countless hours making unplayable levels and surreal [[Autism Tutorial|videos]].

===[[ModNation Racers]]===
Similar to LittleBigPlanet: a bright, colorful, customizable game. Chris spends an ungodly amount of time on this game, but doesn't seem to be any good at it, winning less than a quarter of the online games he plays.

===[[My Little Pony]]===
Also in the [[Megan Saga]], he started making custom My Little Pony action figures with his own hair. He is also known to be a fan of the cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]]'', first noted when he used one of the characters as an avatar on [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]. He also has a playlist of the show on his YouTube channel, and has referenced both the show and "dark" fanfiction of it on [[Facebook]].

===[[Nintendo Power]]===
A video game-oriented magazine that once published a review Chris wrote about the dating game ''Sprung'' and also included a blurb regarding his [[Animal Crossing Documentary]]. Chris decided to [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|create his own issue]].

===[[PlayStation 3]]===
His "life upgrade". The PS3 is the biggest drain on Chris's income, with him spending thousands of taxpayers' dollars on games, DLC and films from the PSN. In a failed attempt to collect a $9001 reward, he [[The MovingForward videos|destroyed]] his life upgrade, and promptly purchased a new one within days. During times when Chris spends less time on the Internet, he spends even more time on the PS3.

===[[Playboy]]===
Like every STRAIGHT man, he has a subscription to Playboy, as mentioned in [[I am STRAIGHT|this video]].

===[[Pokémon]]===
Like nearly everyone who was a child in the 90's, Chris had an obsession with Pokémon. Unlike many other children of the 90's, he didn't grow out of it. Pokémon has [[parody|"influenced"]] [[Sonichu]], with the main character being a mix between [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]].

===[[Power Rangers]]===
Chris has been obsessed with the Power Rangers since the early nineties. He owns a few action figures and created his own "Power Ranger" team for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Chris likes the Power Rangers so much that he actually [[Revive Zordon|wrote a song]] about them. He also dressed as the White Ranger during his ill-fated appearance at [[HarmonyCon]].

===[[R.L. Stine]]===
In [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], it is shown that Chris read R.L. Stine's ''Goosebumps'' books (literature aimed at children) well into high school.

===[[Seinfeld]]===
A less ancient sitcom that Chris has mentioned a few times. In the [[church audio]] he tells [[Robert Simmons V]] that the show emotionally prepared him for receiving fake numbers.

===[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]===
An obvious fandom of Chris's. As with Pokémon, Chris plagiarizes Sonic mercilessly whilst insisting that [[Sonichu]] is a parody.

===[[The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]===
An obscure cartoon from Chris's childhood. The main character, Robert Rabbit, is apparently Chris's role model, on the same level as Sonic.

===[[The Simpsons]]===
Like ''Family Guy'', a cartoon for which most of its humor is wasted on Chris. To prove his straightness, he has a Playboy centerfold of Marge Simpson on his wall.

===[[Transformers]]===
A cartoon from his childhood. Chris has many Transformer toys in his room, including a [[Megatron pistol]] and an [[Optimus Prime]]. He also rips off the show in his Sonichu comics.

==Minor Fandoms==
Fandoms that have been more fleeting, like ones adopted to impress potential boyfriend-free girls.

===[[Excel Saga]] and [[Sailor Moon]]===
Two animes he became a fan of to impress [[Megan]]. On his wall he has a drawing of Excel, and the infamous [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to KEEP HIM STRAIGHT.

===[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]===
Chris made a custom set of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

Prank calls

2026-04-14T07:26:38Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many '''prank calls''', thanks to [[Chris]]'s e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire Internet. Multiple times. However, many of the [[weens]] that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to [[YouTube]], providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts. In other cases, people have used {{w|Soundboard (computer program)|soundboards}} made with clips of Chris and his father Bob to prank call others for their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|amusement]].

== DPF phonecalls ==
=== Part 1 ===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|jJgbVrFasxk}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Jynx:''' Hel-(cut off by static)
 '''Jack:''' Hi I'm *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry what?
 '''Jynx:''' Good evening.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, good evening.
 '''Jynx:''' We tried to conta-well I tried to contact you earlier, I wanted to ask permission to use something of yours. A character of yours.
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Jynx:''' I, um, I own a comic called Marty-Bob, right? It's pretty popular. It's based off the series Negima, you may have heard of it. Have you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no. I have not.
 '''Jynx:''' Well, as you know, I am English, and it's rather popular over here, right? And your character, being pretty popular in England as well, um, I wanted to see if I could use him just as a cameo to say hi to Marty-Bob.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Well I-[cut off by Chris]
 '''Chris:''' Well, I give you, I give you permission to use my c-, use my Sonichu as a as a, in a cameo appearance in there, just make sure you reference me and the CWCipedia.
 '''Jack:''' We'll, we'll do that sir.
 '''Jynx:''' We'll link and everything and give credit to you [Text comes up reading 'Sonichu can come up and give Marty-Bob a handshake and then Marty-Bob can meet'] Sonichu and say he's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay, that's fine.
 '''Jack:''' Also, I was wondering, I have a character I'd like to audition for you, for your Sonichu comic.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' His, his name is Poliochu, he has Polio, he's like the uh, clone of FDR and he has Polio, so he needs a wheelchair.
 '''Chris:''' I see, hmm, well you can send me a drawing of it, to my e-mail address or to the mailbag on the CWCipedia and I'll uh, I'll look at-I'll look the character over.
 '''Jynx:''' Will you look at 'em all of your e-mails?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll look at the e-mails.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay that's good.
 '''Jack:''' That's good, that's good. Also, um, are you getting those dastardly trolls? I mean, they're just so mean.
 '''Chris:''' Yes they are mean.
 '''Jynx:''' I liked your recent video where you spoke French or s-[static pause]
 '''Chris:''' [cutting in] Spanish.
 '''Jynx:''' You taught me how to say it it was like illis zububolis or something.
 '''Jack:''' What does that mean anyway what you said in Spanish?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah th- the meaning escapes me at the moment, but it's pronounced "uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol.
 '''Jack:''' Mhm.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, can I just say something?
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' I'm your biggest fan; you're so awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Jack:''' You do not deserve any of the bad treatment towards you like, Clyde Cash, he's just a jerk and whatever that guy who says he's you but like not as like, good looking.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So what is Asperchu?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well Asperchu is not mine, it belongs to Alec Benson Leary and I have no connection to him whatsoever, except for him buying out the ad space and putting his ads onto th-[cuts out]
 '''Jynx:''' What?
 '''Jack:''' Why would he do that to you?
 '''Chris:''' He's just being, he's just being mean and a jerk.
 '''Jynx:''' I thought that um, you guys were having a meeting. That's what you said in your video.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, no I challenged him to come and meet- challenged him to come to Virginia so we can see who stacks up better here.
 '''Jynx:''' Right.
 '''Jack:''' Did Clyde Cash ever come to your house and try to fight you?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, people have come to my house, and uh, gone so-gone as far as to egg my house.
 '''Jack:''' Egged? Your house has been egged?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' That's not very nice they're [inaudible]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' It's a waste of eggs.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Eggs are supposed to be eaten.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's probably-
 '''Jack:''' [cuts off Chris] They're made with french toast.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' I wanted to ask you a question.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Y'know Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' How come he's got -chan at the end of his name but not -chu?
 '''Chris:''' It's a play off the word magician.
 '''Jynx:''' I see. I didn't know that! That's pretty cool, I've learned something new today!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' But what's that, so his species name is Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So, could I capture my own Magi-chan if it was in a pokémon game?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, not really. If I- if there was a pokémon game with all the Sonichu characters in there, you'd have to, uh, evolve it from a Sonee with a Moon Stone.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah, I see.
 '''Jack:''' Also I was wondering, uh, what is this A.D. Vision thing project you're making-you're going on talking about?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, uh, oh, turns out tha-turns out I was fooled there, apparently A.D. Vison went ou-went out of business in September 2009. I did not realize that until recently.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I got, I got to ask you a really important question.
 '''Jack:''' Who is Ginger? We just want to know; we're confused about that.
 '''Chris:''' She's a fan.
 '''Jack:''' She's a fan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' Like us?
 '''Jack:''' [inaudible]
 '''Chris:''' She talked to me recently.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, where does she live?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, she lives in Florida.
 '''Jack:''' Florida? That's-
 '''Chris:''' [cuts in] Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Pretty f-pretty far a way aways man.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Jack:''' [cuts in] Around.
 '''Chris:''' I wasn't doing anything lately, y'know?
 '''Jynx:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Could I ask your opinion on something?
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jynx:''' It's something you haven't released information or anything and it's so important I wanna ask you this.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Um, do you like Digimon?
 '''Chris:''' Digimon's okay.
 '''Jynx:''' But you think poké-
 '''Jack:''' They're just a pretty ripoff of Pokémon right?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah I would dare say it's sort of a ripoff.
 '''Jynx:''' But, I, I like Digimon and I like Sonichu, because I'm awesome like that; that's how I roll.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay. Alright, that's cool.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you like Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' 'Kay.
 '''Jynx:''' Would you like to speak to Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' No. I-
 '''Jack:''' [cuts in] He has like the best voice of doing it though.
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah, I-I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'll listen to your imitation of Kermit the Frog.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay, here it is, ready? [Mimics Kermit the Frog] Hi there, Kermit the Frog here speaking to Chris-Chan, which is pretty cool.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' You like it?
 '''Chris:''' It's okay...uh, [Mimics Kermit the Frog; Inaudible mumbling in the voice] and sound like Kermit the Frog. Ladies and Gentlemen, [inaudible name] in the audience, yay!
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, wow! That was good at the end! That was excellent!
 '''Jack:''' Can you hear my- can you hear my Bill Cosby voice. Do you know Bill Cosby?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jack:''' Alright, here it is. [Mimics Bill Cosby] Hello Chris-Chan, with the bippin' and the boppin' and the hippin'. [Coughs] God that hurt.
 '''Chris:''' [Mimicking Bill Cosby] Mmm, that's pretty good, but I think [inaudible] and we could talk all day long! And we could do all the jibba jabba blibba blabba.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, uh, do you know who Cleveland Brown?
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [Mimics Cleveland] Oh yeah, I know Cleveland Brown. Yeah I watch the Cleveland Show. [Attempts Cleveland's laugh]
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I like his laugh, it's like [mimics laugh]
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed episode?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn- I didn't understand the question.
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed comic ser-type of like, Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Well uh, maybe later, but not right now.
 '''Jack:''' Here, I could do, I could do I good Snake voice. Let's get into it. Listen.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay.
 '''Jack:''' [Mimicking Snake] Otacon, this is Snake. Where are we? [cough]
 '''Jynx:''' Is that the one from Super Smash Brothers?
 '''Jack:''' No.
 '''Jynx:''' Is-have you ever played Super Smash Brothers, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you have a friend code for it?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, but it would be hard for me to get to it right now.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah.
 '''Jack:''' Ah okay.
 '''Jynx:''' I would love to play you because I actually don't have Snake in Brawl yet. I don't know how to unlock him.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, uh, I'm sorry, you don't-uh, you're talking about the Snake character, unlocking him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl?
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, you could look, you could look up the answer how to unlock him on GameFAQs, G A M E F A Q S dot com.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, who do you use?
 '''Jack:''' He uses Sonic of course.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you know that if you hack the game, you could mix Pikachu's move with Sonic, and then you can make, like Sonichu in brawl?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, that's interesting.
 '''Jynx:''' That'd be cool. I used to do that; I used to hack Brawl at one point.
 [End of audio]
|}

=== Part 2 ===

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9FaRH3Ttsk8}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
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 '''Jack:''' Reggie Fils-Aime, I've always tried to talk with him, I've called Nintendo of America like a billion times asking to talk with him, he's like always busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it turned out-it turned out between him and, uh, Sh-and, uh, Sh-
 '''Jack:''' (cutting in) Shigeru Miyamoto?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It turned out when I talked to them they turned out to be just trolls pretending to be both of them.
 '''Jynx:''' Well, was that Clyde Cash again?
 '''Chris:''' No, uh, another troll. Under Clyde Cash, I'm sure.
 '''Jack:''' [mumbling] oh, oh. Have you seen "The Book of Eli" yet?
 '''Chris:''' No, I have not.
 '''Jack:''' You should go see it. Oh, there-here, my, uh, my little sister would like to talk to you.
 '''Jynx:''' She's from Australia.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Girl:''' Is this really Sonichu? I'm really excited now!
 '''Chris:''' (cutting in) Hello?
 '''Girl:''' Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? I've been trying to talk with you for hours and hours now! Sonichu! Oh my god, I love this show! I love it, I love it, I love it!
 '''Jack:''' (cutting in) she's just
 '''Chris:''' (inaudible)
 '''Girl:''' Shut up, shut up Jack, I'm talking! I'm so...oh, wow.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you like Family Guy then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, it's a good show.
 '''Jynx:''' I have, do you know what my favorite Chris Chan video is? The one where you do the life in a day of Sonichu. That was great!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Thank you.
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah, I've-
 '''Jack:''' (cutting in) Did you notice that Chris Mc-Chris McFarland-Seth McFarlane has put you in one of the episodes?
 '''Chris:''' Uh. Sorry, I did not understand that.
 '''Jack:''' Seth McFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, he put you in that one episode, where they did like, a Stephen King parody? He made Peter look just like you.
 '''Chris:''' No, uh, (sound cut off) -like that.
 '''Jynx:''' That's your shirt.
 '''Girl:''' (speaking over Chris) Oh, I LOVE YOUUU!
 '''Jack:''' (inaudible) -that you're famous though.
 '''Chris:''' Hm... Indeed.
 '''Jack:''' Are you ever gonna come to Anime Expo?
 '''Chris:''' I might.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, what kind of anime do you like? Do you like, uh, Lucky Star? Haruhi Suzumiya, Naruto, Bleach? So many to choose from.
 '''Girl:''' (cutting in) Oh, Anime, do you like Anime? I like Anime!
 '''Jynx:''' Death Note, Shaman King, Vampire Knight, Love Hina, Negima, Marty Bob? There's a whole load of this, what do you like?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I like a lot of anime, but I would say that I really like Excel Saga.
 '''Jack:''' Excel Saga? Yeah, Nabushin's the best.
 '''Jynx:''' I like Azumanga Daioh.
 '''Jack:''' I don't even know what that is man.
 '''Girl:''' [unintelligible], Ponies~.
 '''Jack:''' [unintelligible]...(Over Chris) Me and Chris know what it's about.
 '''Chris:''' Listen, I'm busy working on a this project right now.
 '''Jack:''' Which project is it?
 '''Chris:''' Oh it's some, uh... (static)
 '''Jack:''' (Cutting off Chris) Is it like a video, or some sort of, like, game, or picture.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a drawing, alright?
 '''Jack:''' It's a drawing? Oh, oh, oh. Ok. Here's another Sonichu character, alright? His name is Hunter ThompsonChu... He's like, he's like a writer sort of Sonichu character, and he wears, like, um, what is it? Like, ah... Do you wa- Have you read or watched "Bleach" before?
 '''Chris:''' Mm. Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' You know that shopkeeper (audio fades) that hat, but a different color. And he wears, like, sunglasses. And he just, like, he types and he's just, like, a really crazy kooky character.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well, again, ya'know, send the pictures to the email or send it to the mailbag and I'll h- and I'll look at it.
 '''Jack:''' (An unintelligible voice starts with Jack, then stops.) Great, and I'll go find Alec for you and I'll get him for you. I'll beat him up.
 '''Girl:''' [Grainy and obnoxious] I HAVE A QUESTION!
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, Chris, Chris, I wanna say something. (Mention our?) parody fandub in your next video.
 '''Chris:''' Umm... I might.
 '''Jack:''' We need the, um, We need the, um, We need the, uh, what is it?
 '''Jynx:''' The Views.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, we need the views, please.
 '''Jynx:''' And I've supported Sonichu for a long time, like, I've even posted fan-pictures on Youtube.
 '''Jack:''' I'm even getting a tattoo, later tomorrow, of Sonichu, on my chest... Ultra Sonichu.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I... Alight, it was nice talking to y'all but I gotta go.
 '''Jack:''' Can we call you next time? Will you answer us?
 '''Chris:''' Eh, I might.
 '''Jack:''' Please, that would make my sister's day. Alright, Please?
 '''Chris:''' Ok, hello.
 '''Girl:''' Heeeeeeee. (Forced Giddiness) I have a question, I has a question, it (trails off). How long do you take drawring [sic] your pictures?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, Sometimes it can take me up to 2 or 3 hours.
 '''Girl:''' Why?
 '''Jack:''' You could have a drawing contest against Alec to see who's the better c-(cuts off)
 '''Girl:''' I like drawing, too.
 '''Jack:''' (cuts back in) -drawings.
 '''Girl:''' I like drawing... Can I draw pictures for Sonic-chan? I like drawring.[sic]
 '''Chris:''' (Softly, unsure) ...yeah...
 '''Jynx:''' Do you like, um, Wall-E?
 '''Chris:''' Wally?
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I do not know what w- I do not know which Wally you're talking about.
 '''Jynx:''' [simultaneously] The Pixar thing. / Eeeevaaa.
 '''Jack:''' [simultaneously] The one with "WALL EEEEE and EVE" Eeevvaaa.
 '''Chris:''' I've never heard of that.
 '''Jynx:''' What's your favorite movie?
 '''Chris:''' Mary Poppins.
 '''Jynx:''' Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' Is that the one with the dancing penguins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' Is that your favorite animal?
 '''Chris:''' No, pengu- No, not my favorite animal.
 '''Jynx:''' What is your favorite animal?
 '''Jack:''' Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Not sure, I'm not sure at the moment. I, hey listen, I gotta go.
 '''Jynx:''' Please don't hang up, We're your biggest fans!
 '''Chris:''' Ok, thank you.
 '''Girl:''' (Overtly Sensual) I really like Sonichu, too. Makes me feel... Good.
 '''Jack:''' That was my sister, sorry.
|}

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

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'''Part 1:'''
{{#ev:youtube|5IFtCJi8gMI}}
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'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Yeah, how you doin'? My name is Chris, I'm from Boston.
 '''Bob:''' Hello? I don't understand your conversation.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Would it be possible for me to get your name?
 '''Bob:''' You called me.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Um, there's somebody playing games with the phone.
 '''Bob:''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I'm just answerin' my telephone. [''Inaudible''] You called me. What the hell is on your mind, man?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''again, speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? What's on your mind? You called me, and now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You're a narcissist. You've got a personality di-disorder. Did you know that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't have a damn thing! You're the one that's a guh-guh-gutter creep [''Inaudible''] -that's just what you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob again''] I know your weaknesses. I know your weaknesses.
 '''Bob:''' Tell me what you want. I'm- I answered the phone, now tell me what you want. You rang my damn number.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You see, what you're doing is, you're burning up ''tens'' of ''thousands'' of dollars.
 '''Bob:''' I ain't burnin' up nothin', fella. Now you tell me what the hell you want, or I'm gonna hang this phone up. I don't need ''your'' crap.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Sir, you've just threatened me. And I've got you recorded now. Now you've committed a felony.
 '''Bob:''' That's good. I'm just gonna hang up if you don't tell me what you want.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Can you hear that stuff at the other end?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I didn't understand you.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I still didn't understand you. [''Inaudible''] -speak distinctly.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob''] I've already told you who I am. I've already told you who I am. This is sheriff's office. Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I don't understand why you're callin' me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' What insurance department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ''call'' you! You called me! What are- Who are you, and what's goin' on?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Would you speak slowly and one syllable at a time so I can understand you?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' You're mayor of Big Daddy's Pizza? Is that what you said?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I can't understand you. You need to take a diction lesson.
 [''Barbara is heard in the background urging Bob on'']
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm gonna advise you now, this is the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Are- are you the sheriff's department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' Good. Why did you call me?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' No one's called me? Then why didn't my phone ring?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you! Listen!
 [''call dropped; redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' [''in the middle of a conversation with Barb'']
 '''Barbara:''' What's the phone number comin' in?
 '''Bob:''' Nothin'.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, hang up!
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who the hell is this?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' [''chuckling''] I don't know, you can't help me. You're calling me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Callin' you and cussin' you, OK? Why would I call you when I'm on the sheriff's department why would I call somebody and cuss them out?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who is ''this''? For cryin' in a bucket...
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' This is the sheriff's office. Deputy Martin from sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Well, insurance department of what?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' Big Daddy's Pizza. OK, Big Daddy. Will you please quit callin' me and leave my phone alone?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
|}

<center>
'''Part 2:'''
{{#ev:youtube|y47UPTphc58}}
</center>

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 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called you before you god danged you...[interrupted] -pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
 '''Bob:''' YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! Don't call me again! Get down in your damn low-life gutter, okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] Hey, fuck you, you stupid cocksucker.
 '''Bob:''' I don't play that. And don't call me again! You bastard!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Fuck you.
 '''Bob:''' Forget my number! Alright?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Whatta ya need done?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Duncan Construction.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' This is who?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' Well, Frank, what is on your mind?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hey, does your mama still got, uh, worms crawlin' out her pusshy?
 '''Bob:''' What is on your mind, sir?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again or what?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, you motherfucker! Get off of my telephone and quit bothering' it! Okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] No.
 '''Bob:''' Get down in your low-life gutter and stay there!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' No.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, why are you calling my number?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you.
 '''Bob:''' Uhh, then, uhh, why are you speaking with me?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I have been called 15 times.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why are you callin' me every 3 minutes for?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you. I'm sitting here in my... living room, watching TV.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why don't you get your brass balls and come up here buddy?
 '''Bob:''' Well, I don't know who you are or where you are, but- and I don't really care! But you- I'll let you talk to my wife and you tell her why you're cussin' at me!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' OK.
 ''[Bob goes off to talk with Barb. Meanwhile, the troll holds back a laugh.]''
 '''Barbara:''' Hello!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' Who are you calling?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, you're fucked up somehow! Goodbye!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I'd bust your head wide open if I could see you.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''somber music plays in the background'']
 '''Bob:''' Why are you callin' on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' I didn't call you, I'm just trying to go to sleep.
 '''Bob:''' I wish you'd quit bothering my telephone, I'm trying to watch TV. I'm an 82 year old man, now cut it out!
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' My fuckin' life's not doing too well right now, dude.
 ''[call ends]''
 ''[music goes on for a while then fades out]''
|}

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of unfunny [[ween]]s attempt to prank call Chris. Due to their unoriginality, all they could think of was yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone in a lame attempt to roast Chris. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and roasts them. One of the weens appears to be [[BlueSpike]], or at least he has a similar-sounding voice.

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'''BlueSpike:''' [''whispering''] Fucking pick up, piece of shit!
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''BlueSpike:''' JULAAAAY, JULAAAAY, JULAAAAY!
 '''Troll 2:''' [''overlapping''] Juliiiie!
 [''awkward pause'']
 '''Bob:''' What the hell is that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm...
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny-ass ideas about playing games at night on the telephone, don't you? Are you six years old or somethin'? [''Barb is heard in the background; after a little bit he hangs up'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' Aw, fuck, we got hi--... [''unintelligible chattering''] We got his fucking dad. Shit.
|}

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone. (Prank call starts at 1:32.)

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{{#ev:youtube|GMb4aeio7lY}}
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'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that.
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I would tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialed]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialed]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me, fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'll start cussing at at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[heard in the background]'' Hang up the phone!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 ''[more indistinct conversation in the background, "Hang up the phone!" etc.]''
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not botherin' me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wastin' your damn time. Okay, you're not botherin' us. So why the hell do you do-waste all that effort? Put it in to something con- constructive and creative.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[interjects]'' Go to Haiti!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, go to Haiti and help those people, or go to hell, one or the other. ''[Chris soundboard says something simultaneously]''
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
|}

==Epic Crazy Lady calls Bob==
A troll using the [http://soundboardprankcalls.wikia.com/wiki/Epic_Crazy_Lady Epic Crazy Lady] soundboard yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.
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{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
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 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Do you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who or what is...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I can't even begin to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I'll show ''you'' what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Nine hundred Collins Road, bring yourself, buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey, buddy. Listen, boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. You understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house, and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Call my house and talk that way. I tell you what, why don't you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think I am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I wish that you knew what number you called, because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Bob says something to Barbara about a "goddamn screwy woman." Barbara tells him: "Hang up on her. I ain't talkin' to nobody, this time of night. Hang it up."''] You better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said, "Hello."
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Barbara tells Bob to hang up because he's getting on her nerves.''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Unintelligible''] bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
 '''Harlem Barber:''' Barbershop
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Harlem Barber:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.
|}

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

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{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at ''Bob'' |color=silver|size=360%}}

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
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'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the Internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of [[Cherokee]] relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the Internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' -they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, listen, I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just [[Bob walks in|cut it down]], cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or ma'am or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here- look- don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there.
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have- we didn't have anything to do with this damn... er... thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of [[Chris|weird]] [[Barb|people]] out here and you might be included as one of them if you're calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.
|}

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob (which, years later, was revealed to be [[Jack Z]], after he admitted it in his [http://archive.vn/0giZa#selection-2095.0-2095.69 Kiwi Farms thread]), calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, he seems to think that [[Jimmy Hill|Chris won "a case in England" over Sonichu's copyright]]. We learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

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{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
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'''Bob:'''-FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' -you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the Internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the Internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the Internet who is drawing cartoons, I-I don't know I don't use the Internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the Internet either, but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the Internet, uh, looking up cartoons on the Internet and, uh, I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the Internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is this system called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the Internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this Internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' -Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh-whate- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the Internet and that's why they're- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the-phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the Internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an Internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the Internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.
|}

== Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler ==
Not much of a prank, but rather an informative call. From this brief conversation between troll and dad we learn that Bob is fully aware that Chris posted their dox in numerous places on the Internet, and actually thinks [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|son]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|is]] [[Twin Falling Towers|a]] [[Sonichu Special 4|better]] [[Sonichu 10|person]].

Audio clip [http://solidsnakeproductions.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/snake-calls-bob-chandler/]

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{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
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 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello? Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, hey, um, I've been hearing that, uh...
 '''Bob:''' Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll''': Um, your son's kinda like getting you through some trouble on the, uh...online. He's giving out his- giving out your home phone number.
 '''Bob:''' My home phone number's been on the Internet four years, and I don't care. Now why you callin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, your...I think you heard about how your, uh, [[Tour of Chris's House|videos of your house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|were on the Internet]]?
 '''Bob:''' I've heard a lot of stuff, and most of it is a bunch of trash, okay?
 '''Troll:''' Well, um...
 '''Bob:''' Why you callin' my number?
 ''' Troll:''' W-w-w-w-w-wait a minute, wait. Um...
 '''Bob:''' I'm gettin' kinda sick and tired of you people botherin' my home phone number. This is my private phone number, now get rid of it.
 '''Troll:''' Wait, wait, I'm not trying to piss you off.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you are, because you're comin' in on an unknown blocked number call.
 '''Troll:''' Your-
 '''Bob:''' If you were up and aboard and above board(?) and really doin' what you say you ki- think you're doin', then your number would come in along with your name.
 '''Troll:''' [''quietly''] Shit, whatever lumberjack.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you can't argue with that, can you? Now quit callin' my damn number and leave it alone!
 '''Troll:''' Okay [[Chris_and_race#Parental_influence|KKK cracker.]]
 '''Bob:''' Okay, cracker.
 [''Troll snickers'']
 '''Bob:''' Get your act together. I'm 82 years old, and I've survived a long damn time. The way you're goin', you're not gonna make it very far.
 '''Troll:''' Can't raise your damn son right.
 '''Bob:''' I raised my son. [[Chris and psychology|My son is fine]]. My son has done a lot better than you have, [[Chris and anger|he's a hell of a lot nicer than you are]], he doesn't go around callin' people all the damn time.
 '''Troll:''' Hey, I'm nice, but I'm just- I'm just trying to let you know, you're trying to, you're kinda being an ass on the other line.
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm not being an ass. I'm just gettin' tired of [[Chris and his ego|you people out there thinkin' you're God's gift to the world when you're not]].
 '''Troll:''' W-well, I'm- I'm not thinking, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, look at yourself...
 '''Troll:''' I do.
 '''Bob:''' ...and say "Now what do I do to deserve to judge other people?..."
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' "...I'm so great that I can judge other people, and they're so damn far below me?" No, I think you should get off the phone and find yourself somethin' constructive to do as an entertainment.
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm just-
 '''Bob:''' Thank you and good night.
 '''Troll:''' Okay, bitch.
 [''call ends'']
|}

==Snake Productions Calls Barbara Chandler==
The same troll above makes another call to the Chandlers, this time claiming Chris harassed his [[Pedofork|14-year old sister]]. It should be noted that Barb's behavior when communicating with trolls is eerily similar to that of her equally-delusional son's.

Audio clip [http://solidsnakeproductions.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/snake-pisses-of-snorlax/]

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 '''John:''' Uh, hello, this is, ah, John Morris. I've been calling a couple of times, but I'm getting calls from your house, and I guess someone named Christian who lives there has been calling my sister, who's underage, probably 14 years - 14 years old, has been asking my, er, d-asking my d- sister-
 '''Barbara:''' (Interrupting) M-my son does not call your daughter that's 14 years underage [Unintelligible]
 '''John:''' Yeah, I-I have recorded-
 '''Barbara:''' SHUT UP!SHUT UP!
 '''John:''' Here, here's the call.
 '''Barbara:''' Stop trying to set up my son!
 '''John:''' Here.
 '''Barbara:''' You lousy creep!
[A recording of a girl's voice starts, but Barb is blathering over it]
 '''Barbara:''' One of you- one of you trolls out there
 '''John:''' Here, what's this- here
 '''Barbara:''' Don't bother- don't bother calling us back again!
 '''John:''' Here, right here.
[The recording starts again, but Barb hangs up]
 '''John:''' Oh, she- Tch.

The credits roll, followed by the actual "recording" of the call - obviously a soundboard.

 '''Girl:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Girl'''Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler
 '''Girl:''' Who are you looking for?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Girl:''' What?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that, you know. And you'll just- and it'll be- I'll be puttin' it between your tits while you're all tied up.
 '''Barbara (Soundboard):''' SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Stop trying to set up my son! You lousy creep!
|}

==ThePCAssassins Calls==
{{main|ThePCAssassins}}

==Chris calls the Po-Po; Po-Po calls Bob==
Most of this call is the CWC soundboard trying to get around the standard questions of the Greene County Sheriff Department's receptionist. The last two minutes involve a police soundboard calling Bob. Note: The CWCki doesn't condone or support pranking legitimate business and services (like the police) in order to prank the Chandlers.
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'''Receptionist:''' Greene County Sheriff's Department. This is [''unintelligible''].
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Receptionist:''' Yes?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Receptionist:''' This is the Greene County sheriff's office.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Receptionist:''' Umm, 'kay. Can I get your last name?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Receptionist:''' Christian Chandler?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' [''overlapping slightly''] Christian- then what can we do for you tonight?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Bring the police and, uhh, ambulance around.
 '''Receptionist:''' You need the police and the ambulance?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''pause'']
 '''Receptionist:''' OK. Why do you need the police and the ambulance?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sigh''] Oh, Jesus... [''sigh'']
 [''long pause'']
 '''Receptionist:''' Can you tell me why you need them?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Receptionist:''' OK... So why do you need the police? Is there something wrong?
 [''short pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' OK, what's wrong?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Receptionist:''' Can you tell me what's goin' on?
 [''pause'']
 '''Receptionist:''' Hey, Christian?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes?
 '''Receptionist:''' Can I get your address?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Receptionist:''' 14 Branchland Court? Is that where you're at right now?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' Can I get your phone number?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 '''Receptionist:''' You don't want to give out your phone number?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm currently living with my mother and my father.
 '''Receptionist:''' You're living with your mother and your father? Is there something wrong with them? [''pause''] Is that why you need law enforcement?
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Receptionist:''' Yes, this is the Greene County sheriff's office.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler.
 '''Receptionist:''' Yes, sir. Umm, we received a call saying that you needed law enforcement to your location. Can you tell me if there's anything going on there?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Receptionist:''' Well, sir, we were called by this number, and they said that they needed law enforcement there. Can you tell me what's going on?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why did you call me?
 [''pause'']
 '''Receptionist:''' ''We'' were called, sir. We didn't call you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You were up and [''unintelligible''] along with your name
 '''Receptionist:''' Excuse me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You come over here and I'll show you whats a matter.
 '''Receptionist:''' Sir, are you threatening me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Receptionist:''' ...Okay, well sir we were called in request of law enforcement to your location. If there's something wrong we need to know about it before we send somebody out there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can I let you talk to my wife, and you tell her why your cussin' at me?
 '''Receptionist:''' Sir, I'm not cursing at you.
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' Hello there! Sir, or ma'am, or whatever the hell you are!
 '''Receptionist:''' Is there anything, that I can do for you?
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] this damn, uh, thing that's goin' on!
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay, do you require anymore assistance from me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah
 '''Receptionist:''' ...Okay, what can I do than?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Can I explain somethin' to you?
 '''Receptionist:''' Yes you may.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' There is on the internet, a bunch of trolls; they have a program in their computers which allows them to dial numbers, anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular number they want to.
 '''Receptionist:''' I understand sir, but I am not looking at a caller ID, I was called by Christian Chandler and he stated he needed law enforcement at his location,
('''Bob Interrupting:''' Yeah)
 '''Receptionist:''' and he gave me this address.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Receptionist:''' Yes sir?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay is there anything more I can do for you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I need you to come over here.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay why do you need law enforcement to come over there?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What you just did was stick a knife in our back and kill us!
 '''Receptionist:''' Can you repeat what you just said to me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Receptionist:''' No sir, I am not six years old, but your phone is very staticy, and it's very difficult to hear what you're saying.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well, I, I've had plenty of sense in my head.
 '''Receptionist:''' No one is denying you have sense in your head sir, I'm just trying to find out why law enforcement was called to your location, we just need to know if there's anything going on.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well I don't- well- How can I explain it any simpler to you?
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay sir, thank you for your time.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy!
 '''Barbara (soundboard):''' You can [''unintelligible''] and shut up!
 (LOUD BANG, END OF CALL)
 (Audio Ends)
'''THIS IS THE SECOND CALL IN THE SAME VIDEO'''
 '''Receptionist:''' Green County Sheriff office, this is [''unintelligible'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A- You've been nothing but a pain in my side!
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay can you repeat what you just said?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I am going to find you, and I am going to have you proven as a lier!
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay- what did I lie about?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You, no no- You've been copying me for the past random 6 months!
 '''Receptionist:''' Is this the Chandler?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah... Oh yeah, (Receptionist tries to interrupt) you know my address right?
 '''Receptionist:''' Is this Christian? Or this the mother? '''(Chris interrupting.:''' My name...) We have law enforcement on scene now.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay Christian, I have a deputy on scene now.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yup
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh yeah you know my address right, you got mapquest to come all the way over?
 '''Receptionist:''' Excuse me?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' YOU CAN FIND ME RIGHT NOW, I LIVE IN 14 BRANCHLAND COURT IN RUCKERSVILLE, VIRGINIA!
 '''Receptionist:''' Okay. Is there a deputy on scene right now with you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 '''Receptionist:''' Can you hold on just one moment please?
 (Call ends, Skype hangup sound heard)

'''THIS IS THE THIRD, AND LAST CALL IN THE SAME VIDEO, THIS TIME TO BOB(REAL BOB) USING A DIFFERENT SOUNDBOARD'''
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Yeah police department.
 '''Bob:''' I can't understand you.
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' You are talking to Sgt. Libski
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I can't understand you.
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' This is Sgt. Libski
 '''Bob:''' Okay, that's fine. What can I do for you?
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Is this an emergency?
 '''Bob:''' No, I have no emergency.
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Alright, get me the nearest officers out here. We're sending the nearest officers to you out there right now to your address.
 '''Bob:''' We have told you people, you at Green County. Why are you coming in on unknown numbers?
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' We don't take jokes; you said you needed Fire, Medical, or police assistance. This is not a joke, we're sending officers out to your house right now.
 '''Bob:''' I don't- we don't have no problem!
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Yeah. I got you on GPS right now, you're calling the police department.
 '''Bob:''' I am not calling, I answered my phone!
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Are you making a prank call to the police department?
 '''Bob:''' No, I am not I answered my phone, it was ringing
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' Uh, you just called me.
 '''Bob:''' No I didn't
 '''Sgt. Libski (Soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] What is your problem?
 '''Bob:''' I don't have a problem, somebody else in this world must have a problem. I don't not have a problem, I'm just sitting here watching 'I love Raymond' on T.V.
 [''unintelligible gibberish'']
 '''Bob:''' What?
 [''Call ends, skype hangup sound heard.'']
|}

==Calls to Bob and Chris==
A <s>troll posing as a</s> [[Honest|TRUE and LOYAL]] Sonichu Fan calls Bob and later Chris, demanding [[Sonichu (comic)|new comics]]. The lumberjack suggests that the trolls come talk with him in public, and gives his [[Burger king|daily morning routine]]. This call was uploaded to YouTube on 19 August 2010, but the actual date in which it took place is not known. With that being said, in a 22 August 2010 post at [[Trolling Train]] Chris mentioned that Bob recently had a [[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)|phone conversation with a self proclaimed Sonichu fan]]. The call Chris referred to was very reminiscent of this call, suggesting it occurred not long before it was uploaded.

<center>
{{#ev:archiveorg|i-call-bob-chandler-and-chris-chan}}
</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
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|
''[Phone rings for about 19 seconds.]''
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Fan:''' Hello, am I speaking to a Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' Uh well, he's not here right now, could I take a message?
 '''Fan:''' Uh yes I-I'm a big fan of the Sonichu comics. Uh could you ask him when the uh when the community can expect another Sonichu release?
 '''Bob:''' I-I don't really know and I'm not sure he's got one planned right now.
 '''Fan:''' Oh.
 '''Bob:''' Cause the trolls are givin' him a kinda tough time.
 '''Fan:''' Yeah, I hate the trolls.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, they're- they're just kind of ah, he's kinda layin' low, I guess. Ha ha ha. I would if I were him.
 '''Fan:''' My brother and I are very big Sonichu fans, and we're really lookin' forward to more of his comics.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, well I think he'd get more if all the trolls, uh, would let him alone.
 '''Fan:''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' You'll have to, ah, you'll have to get in some o' the chat rooms and tell the trolls to just lay off. They're stifling his [[Chris and copyright|creativity]]. Heh heh heh.
 '''Fan:''' Yes. Well, I actually know some of the places the trolls congregate at, and I'll see if I can stop them from harassing your family and Christian.
 '''Bob:''' Well, you could- you could pass on a message from me. [''Fan: Uh, sure.''] 'Cause I'm his father. This is Bob, if you haven't heard about me. Ev'ry morning, between 9:30 and about, uh, 10:30 or so, I'm at Burger King restaurant in [[Ruckersville]], eating my breakfast, in the northeast corner booth of the restaurant. And if they wanna come in person and talk to me, I'm not - I don't lie to people and I don't hide under a screen name. And, uh, I'll be glad to talk to anybody and if they've got reasonable questions about Christian, I'll be glad to answer 'em. But I don't do things like that on the phone, and I don't do it on the Internet 'cause I'm not even on the Internet. But I'll be glad to talk to them in person if they're- if they're brave enough to come out in person. 'Cause I got- I got no [[Internet lumberjack|axe to grind]] with any of 'em, and [[Chris and anger|neither has Christian]]. Ha ha, and I don't know why [[Death threats|they think he does]]... he doesn't. We-we'll be glad, or I'll be glad, and I'm sure if Christian knew somebody was comin' and wanted to know, he'd be there for breakfast too. So just tell em, every morning between 9:30 and 10:30 at Burger King. In Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Fan:''' I'll be sure to let them know.
 '''Bob:''' Okay? And anybody at UVA that wants to talk, uh, we-we're always there. But it's a public place, and nobody can harm anybody. Ha ha.
 '''Fan:''' I will definitely be sure - to pass on-
 '''Bob:''' We got nothing- you know, we got nothing to hide. Nothin' at all. So I'd 'preciate it if you'd let the trolls know that we're not secretive. Just come talk to us in person. Don't try to hide behind a computer... or the Internet. I- I thank you.
 '''Fan:''' Uh, no problem. ''[Bob hangs up]'' It's been nice talking to you... Goodbye.
 ''[At 3:50, phone rings for about 23 seconds.]''
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Fan:''' Hello, am I speaking to a Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. May I help you?
 '''Fan:''' Uh, yes. Well, just to start off, I am not a troll, I absolutely abhor trolls, and uh, I just have a quick question. ''[Chris says "Mhmm"]'' My brother and I are huge [[Sonichu]] fans, and we were wondering when to expect another Sonichu release?
 '''Chris:''' Eventually, but not right now, 'cause I'm gettin' away from the- cause I've been getting away from the Internet and all that.
 '''Fan:''' Ah. I understand. I recently talked to your father, just a few minutes ago, and, uh, I've called your house before - thought you might be home, and instead I got your dad.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Fan:''' Yeah. Uh, that's pretty much the only question I had, and I thank you for answering it-
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah, well I gotta go. You have a good day. Bye bye.
 '''Fan:''' You too.
|}

==Carlos Chantor Call==
{{main|Carlos Chantor}}

==A Redneck calls Bob Chandler==

A redneck is called with a soundboard of Bob Chandler. The redneck is then made into a soundboard, and the real Bob is called with him.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|nPYZkQtJs-g}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
'''Redneck:''' [indistinct].
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Redneck:''' Hey
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you calling me?
 '''Redneck:''' Huh?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you calling my number?
 '''Redneck:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 [Redneck talks over him, asking "Who you talking to?"]
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who- Who do you think I am?
 '''Redneck:''' Ohhhh...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you calling my phone?
 '''Redneck:''' You sound familiar, who is this?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm 82 years old. I'm Robert Chandler
 '''Redneck:''' Robert Chandler?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old and I was born in Fort Worth.
 '''Redneck:''' ...Shoot!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm a Texan, now. So I'm a neighbor.
 '''Redneck:''' You i- Are you out in Texas?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes. I'm basically a neighbor of yours.
 '''Redneck:''' A neighbor?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa.
 '''Redneck:''' ...Huh! Gye- This is Mississippi.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Redneck:''' Right, I'm Choctaw.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I live in, Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Redneck:''' Really, yeah.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Redneck:''' Hmm!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why you calling me?
 '''Redneck:''' I have no idear. ''[Chuckles]'' I didn't know I did, I was outside at the shop, I hear the phone rung...
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm just an-answerin my telephone.
 '''Redneck:''' Oh. ''[Chuckles]''
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Well, what is on your mind?
 '''Redneck:''' Aw, well I don't know we just trying to get finished up here where we're closed up for Christmas.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Redneck:''' This is Robert Johnson in ''[censored]'', Mississippi.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler.
 '''Redneck:''' Well, Merry Christmas, Robert Chandler.
 '''Bob (soundboard:''' Yes.
 '''Redneck:''' Where're you, in Oklahoma now?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' In Oklahoma.
 '''Redneck:''' You in Tulsa?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Redneck:''' Yeah I heard poor ol' Roberts died up there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I-I'm a Texan, now.
 '''Redneck:''' Oh, you in Texan? Oh okay.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay.
 '''Redneck:''' Well I'm, I don't know who would've called your number, man.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Redneck:''' Alright, good. ''[chuckles]''
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HELLO THERE!
 '''Redneck:''' Hello!
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Sir, or ma'am, or whatever the hell you are. ''[Redneck chuckling in background]'' There are a lot of, lot of weird people out here, ''[Redneck says something indistinct]'' and you might be included as one of them if you're calling us and cussin' us out!
 '''Redneck:''' Ah naaaar!
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' A-duh, look, don't you call here and cuss us out!
 '''Redneck:''' I didn't know I cussed you out, but ''[more chuckling]''
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' You get your black ass out of the gutter and shut up!
 '''Redneck:''' ''[laughing]'' A-good lord! Wha-
 
 [Call ends. New call]
 
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Hey.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' You sound familiar.
 '''Bob:''' Well who is this?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' This is Robert Johnson of ''[censored]'', Mississippi.
 '''Bob:''' Well... I guess I might sound familiar cuz I'm a southerner.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' You i- are you out in Texas?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Where're you in Oklahoma, now?
 '''Bob:''' Nnno, I'm in Virginia.
 [Long pause]
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' This is Mississippi.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't understand, you rang my telephone and I picked it up.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Well I'm, I don't know who would've called your number.
 '''Bob:''' ''[Pause, TV indistinct in background]'' I don't either.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' I didn't know I did, I was outside at the shop I hear the phone rung.
 '''Bob:''' ...Huh.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Huh?
 '''Bob:''' I'm sorry. ''[Redneck soundboard laughs]'' Somebody just called me, and... it's kinda screwy I guess.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Merry Christmas, Robert Chandler!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, that's me, who is this?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' This is Robert Johnson of Poplarville, Mississippi. ''[unknown as to why this mention was not censored]''
 '''Bob:''' Well how do you know me?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Huh?
 '''Bob:''' I said how do you know me?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' You sound familiar.
 '''Bob:''' You just called my name, so how do you know me?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Well I'm, I don't know who would've called your number.
 '''Bob:''' I don't either, but you're talkin' to me so somebody must've called.
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HELLO THERE!
 [Long pause]
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Who are you calling?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HELLOO!
 [Long pause]
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HELLOO!
 [Pause]
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Who are you calling?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling, I'm answering.
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' There are a lot of, lot of weird people out here... and, you might be included as one of them if you're calling us and cussin' us out.
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you and cussin' you out! I'm just-
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' ''[interrupting]'' WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO with this damn... uh, thing that's goin' on!
 '''Bob:''' ...I don't understand what you're talkin' about.
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HANG UP THE PHONE AND FORGET THE NUMBER.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, I-I'm in Virginia, I don't know who you are
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Well, you're fucked up somehow, goodbye!
 [Long pause]
 '''Bob:''' I-I got a call that says you're in Oklahoma yet, your husband or somebody says you're in Mississippi.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' This is Mississippi.
 '''Bob:''' [Pause] Okay, well your... telephone number came up as Oklahoma on my IDer.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Where're you in Oklahoma now?
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm in Virginia.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' You i- are you out in Texas?
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm not in Texas, I'm in Virginia. I'm in the central part of Virginia where we got two feet of snow.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Huh?
 '''Bob:''' I said I'm in the central part of Virginia, ''[Redneck soundboard laughs]'' where we got two feet of snow and we got buried with snow. We haven't been out in four days. The only reason I've answered the phone, is because I have relatives in Oklahoma and I thought it might be them.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Merry Christmas, Robert Chandler!
 '''Bob:''' Well, Merry Christmas to you. I don't know who you are or why you're callin', but uh, Merry Christmas anyway.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' I didn't know I did, I was outside at the shop I hear the phone rung.
 [Long pause]
 '''Bob:''' Well, have you been gettin' calls from me or somethin'?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Huh?
 '''Bob:''' I say, have you been getting calls from me or somethin'?
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Well I'm, I don't know who would've called your number.
 '''Bob:''' I don't either. But I do know that there's some people on the internet that have some, some electronic program at their disposal, where they can call people around the country, and then cause the telephone ID to come up that says it's somebody else's number other than theirs.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' ''[Laughs]''
 '''Bob:''' This is a system they've got that's called 'Spoofing' as I understand from the uh, police and everybody.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Spoofing!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's called spoofing. And, uh, I don't, the federal government knows about it but they don't seem to wanna try to put a stop to it. So you can't even believe your caller ID anymore, can you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Now, the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this to the point where they've even given it a name called 'spoofing'.
 '''Bob:''' That's right. That's what they tell me. Neh... I-I've gotten calls, like I got this call that says it's from Oklahoma but it's not from Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' In Oklahoma!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, got the call, my caller ID says you live in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I live in, Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob:''' Eh, well, you may live in Ruckersville, I don't know where you live in Ruckersville.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I was born in Fort Worth.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's good. I know other people that were born in Fort Worth.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm basically a neighbor of yours.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's nice, I'm, I guess you're snowed in too.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 [Long pause]
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I have a cousin that lives in Tulsa.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I do too.
 [Even longer pause]
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' This is who?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You there.
 '''Bob:''' I'm here.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' I live in Virginia.
 [Long pause]
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm just an-answerin' my telephone.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's all I did was answer my telephone. Sounds like we're both doin' the same thing.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yes.
 '''Bob:''' Some kinda screwy thing goin' on.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'll let you talk to my wife, an' you tell her why you're cussin' at me.
 '''Bob:''' Why I'm what?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Bob:''' Well, I-I have plenty of sense in my head, I-I don't understand your wife, either, I don't know who your wife is.
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' HELLO THERE!
 '''Bob:''' ''[Pause]'' Hello-
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Sir, or ma'am, or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob:''' ''[Pause]'' I don't know who ''you'' are.
 '''Barb (soundboard):''' Kuh, duh, look, don't you call up here cussin' at my husband.
 '''Bob:''' I haven't cussed at your husband, I don't cuss! I'm 82 years old, why should I cuss? I got nobody to cuss.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm 82 year old man.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I'm 82 year old man, I'm proud of it.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old, but I was born in Fort Worth.
 '''Bob:''' Ngh, that's good, I'm glad you were.
 [Pause]
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' When you make more sense, I guess I can talk to you again.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Okay.
 '''Bob:''' Okay! You take care.
 '''Redneck (soundboard):''' Merry Christmas, Robert Chandler!
 ''[Call ends]''
|}

{{quote| Merry Christmas, Robert Chandler| Redneck, to| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

== Batman Call ==
<center>{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

In this prank call, another gaggle of weens attempt to prank call Chris, but unfortunately for them, they fail, due to their lack of originality when it comes to jokes, and Chris near-immediately handing the phone over to Barb.

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
<poem>
'''Troll #1:''' Eh, I thought it was a hidden camera.(?)
'''Female Troll:''' No, calm down. Well, it's kind of, like, dying.(?)
'''Troll #1:''' Keep it together. [''rustling'']
'''Chris:''' Hello?
'''Troll #1:''' [''talking over Chris''] Hey, Chris! '''I'M BATMAN.'''
'''Chris:''' Huh?
'''Troll #1:''' Hey, Chris, why don't you get back onto the internet?
'''Troll #2:''' We love you, man!
'''Barb:''' Who do-who-who do you think you are?
'''Troll #1:''' '''I'M BATMAN.''' [''pause''] '''I'M BATMAN.'''
'''Troll #2:''' He's Batman, man!
'''Troll #1:''' '''GET BACK ON THE INTERNET.''' [''pause''] '''WHERE ARE YOU GOING?'''
'''Troll #2:''' [''simultaneously''] How are you doin' lately? We just wanted to give you a...call, give you some company, man! [''pause; loud sniffling sound''] You seemed pretty lonely on Facebook, lately...
'''Troll #1:''' '''I THINK HE HUNG UP.'''
'''Troll #2:''' No, i-it's still goin', man. [''a fellow female troll whispers to him unintelligibly''] What?
'''Troll #1:''' What?
'''Barb:''' [''puts on an exaggerated accent of some sort''] Hello, this is your Barb!
'''Troll #2:''' What?!
'''Barb:''' Y'aim a foreigner in your country!
'''Troll #2:''' WHAT?!
'''Troll #1:''' '''I'M BATMAN.'''
'''Troll #2:''' [''both speaking over Barb''] Hey, Batman?
'''Troll #1:''' '''I'M BATMAN.'''
'''Female Troll:''' What's wrong with his voice?!
'''Troll #1:''' '''HE'S, LIKE, RETARDED OR SOMETHING.'''
'''Barb:''' [''is drowned out by the other trolls''] Goodbye! [''hangs up'']
'''Troll #1:''' '''I'M BATMAN.'''
'''Female Troll:''' Who the hell ''was'' that?!
'''Troll #2:''' I don't know, it was [[random-access humor]]! [''unaware Barb hung up''] You love random-access humor, Chris?
'''Troll #1:''' '''[[Duck|HE WANTS THE D]].'''
'''Troll #2:''' Chris, can I hear some of your random-access humor?
'''Troll #1:''' [''briefly speaking over Troll #2''] '''HE WANTS THE D.''' [''speaking with others in background'']
'''Troll #2:''' Wow, we actually got him.
'''Troll #1:''' Let's do star-67 so he doesn't know who we are.
'''Female Troll:''' Wait, does he know you?
'''Troll #2:''' No.
'''Troll #1:''' No, you know--he--like, never ha--uh...he never...picks up.
'''Troll #2:''' [''stuttering''] Can we hear the recording?
'''Troll #1:''' Yeah--
</poem>
|}

==Risotto call==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|VnDPXiPCPos}}</center>

In this prank call, a troll uses the Chris-Chan soundboard to prank a risotto restaurant in Virginia.

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Thank you for calling Risotto--
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Who is this?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Chris.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Oh -- [''unintelligible'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You got the touch!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' What's that?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You got the power...yeah!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Yeah...why don't you go fuck yourself?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You're beautiful!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' It's true!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Hey bro, why don't you go fuck yourself?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You're my baby!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''unintelligible''] Goodbye.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Hello? Yeah?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' What?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' How are you?
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' How you doin'?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm retarded.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Naw, don't play with my time.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Naw, you're not retarded -- you're good.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm retarded.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' I have a doctor right here. Hold on a second.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Doctor [''unintelligible, some name'']?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 
[''He hands the phone to the doctor'']
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Yes, can I help you?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' You functionally have what?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm retarded.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' You're retarded?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Are you hungry?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' You're hungry?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Well, if you're hungry, then you should order some food.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' What do you wanna order?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto!
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' What kind?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Vanilla h- [cuts off]
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Vanilla risotto?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' We don't have vanilla risotto.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' No. No.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs twice'']
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Yeah, sorry. No vanilla risotto. So sorry.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' What time do you think you could be by my place?
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' I can see if Sean has some risotto.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' What time do you think you could be by my place?
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Sean lives in Pleasantville.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Call the [''unintelligible''] bar in Pleasantville. I think they have, uh, bagnoche, I think they have risotto too.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes.
 
'''Doctor (female employee):''' Okay. And --
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Y'know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lfietime, but that's just me growing up, you know?
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Risotto's.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm sorry.
 
'''Restaurant employee''': You okay?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' We had miscommunication.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' What?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' We had miscommunication.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Okay.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Alright, can you call back tonight? We are very busy right now.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' No.
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Risotto's, may I help you?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Hello?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' Hello, how can I help you?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' I'm gonna call the cops right away, okay?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I will call 911.
 
'''Restaurant employee (male):''' I'm gonna call the cops right now.
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Risotto's, how may I help you?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''unintelligible'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
[''People talk in the background''.]
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I never promised you a happy ending!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Can you say that again?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto! Risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''high pitched''] Oh my god, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Police officer #1 (female):''' I'm sorry, this is the police station, you shouldn't be fooling around like that.
 
'''Police officer #1 (female):''' So don't call here anymore, okay?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Go ahead! Go ahead and take it to the police!
 
'''Police officer #1 (female):''' Okay.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' We are in the same time zone.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' 14 Branchland Court.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Ruckersville.
 
'''Police officer #1 (female):''' No --
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You got the touch!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You got the power...yeah!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I never promised you a happy ending!
 
[''indistinct mumbling in background'']
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Risotto's, may I help you?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female)''': We have Caller ID, and we're gonna call the cops.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come, I invite you to write this down.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' What?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Go ahead! Go ahead and take it to the police!
 
[''indistinct mumbling in the background'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sigh'']
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Hello?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Hello, Risotto's?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' You're an asshole.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh yeah, I'm so excited! I just can't hide it!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' A real asshole.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, that sounds good, that sounds real good.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' You're a fuckin' asshole.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh yeah...turns me on.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''sarcastically''] Oh...good.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You know it, girl.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [''sarcastically''] Oh, good for you.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh yeah!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Look, what kind of man is that, that they call a restaurant twenty times and say "Risotto House" -- what are you, fuckin' retarded?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm retarded.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' I ''know'' you're retarded.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I am full of surprises!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Why don't you come down here and tell me that?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' What kind of man are you?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Huh?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I am a strong man.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' What kind of man is that? He's not a man.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I am a strong man.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Y'know what, see how strong you are, come down here.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I did 51 reps with 50 pound weights.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' I don't care how many --
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''interrupting''] Shut the hell up.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' You probably have a little dick, too.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but a pain my, pain in my side.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Oh, now you're mad?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Now you gettin' mad?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Why don't you call the police station and tell them your story?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Huh?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' You want their number?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' It's 1010-201-060-[''unintelligible'']
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' It goes to my father.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm just rubbin' myself thinking about it.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [Gaugin?] Doolittle.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself.
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' [nonsense, trying to drown out voice] Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 
'''Restaurant employee (female):''' Uh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.
 
[The rest of these phrases are interspersed with the employee trying to talk over voice in similar manner.]
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until I give you the first dosage of my comeuppance.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and -- and all that you know, and you'll just -- I'll be putting it between your tits while you're tied up.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [high pitched] R-R-R-R-R-Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto! Risotto!
 
[''dial tone'']
 
'''Police officer #2 (female):''' Welcome to the police station.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''high pitched''] Risotto, risotto!
 
Cl2: Bring the police and the amublance around.
 
'''Police officer #2 (female):''' What is your emergency?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I will call 911.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Go ahead! Go ahead and take it to the police!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come, I invite you to write this down.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 
'''Police officer #2 (female):''' What is your emergency?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I am retarded.
 
'''Police officer #2 (female):''' What is your emergency?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 
'''Police officer #2 (female):''' What is your emergency?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I like to draw and color.
 
[''talking in background'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs nine times'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm just rubbin' myself thinking about it.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, Jesus.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs three times'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs four times'']
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah, I'm gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until I give you the first dosage of my comeuppance.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs two times''] Yeah.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs twice''] You'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and -- and all that you know, and you'll just -- I'll be putting it between your tits while you're tied up.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing ''moment''!
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs four times''] Yeah. Yes.
 
'''Chris (soundboard):''' [''sighs''] Oh, Jesus.
 
|}

==THe GAMe PLACe Call==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|-1h7PgNy64I}}</center>
In this prank call, a troll uses the Chris-Chan soundboard to prank [[The GAMe PLACe]].

Take note of the fact that this was done the day before [[28 October 2011]]. Some have speculated that this call may have been one of the triggers that caused that event; Bob died a month before the call and Chris and Barb were still mourning for him, and having to deal with another call from the police station over false events likely caused him and Barb to snap.

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
<poem>
'''Female Employee:''' GAMe PLACe, [''indistinct'']
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
'''Female Employee:''' Hello.
'''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
'''Female Employee:''' [''talking under him''] Yeah?
'''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come--I invite you to...write this down. Are you really at 14 Branchland Court?
'''Female Employee:''' ...I have no idea about what you're talking about, I think you've called the wrong number.
[''The employee hangs up the line. The troll using the soundboard calls again.'']
'''Female Employee:''' GAMe PLACe, [''indistinct'']
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
'''Female Employee:''' Hello.
'''Chris (soundboard):''' How are you?
'''Female Employee:''' [''indistict''] Do you need something?
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah, y'know, I've watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime. But you know, that's just--uh, uh, that's just me growing up, you know?
'''Female Employee:''' I think that maybe you need to grow up. I'll gonna call the cops if you call again, if you keep on messing with me. [''hangs up'']
'''Chris (soundboard):''' Bring the police and, uhh, ambulance around.
[''calls employee again'']
'''Female Employee:''' GAMe PLACe, [''indistinct'']
'''Chris (soundboard):''' YOU GOT THE TOUCH!
'''Female Employee:''' What?
'''Chris (soundboard):''' YOU GOT THE POWAAAAAARRRRRR, YEAAAAAH!
'''Female Employee:''' [''laughing''] Okay--
'''Chris (soundboard):''' YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, IT'S TRUE!
'''Female Employee:''' [''indistinct; near the end it sounds like she says "Thanks for the call", "We're tracing your call" or "They're tracing the call"'']
</poem>
|}

==Prankdial Calls==
In these calls, a troll uses Prankdial, a website that allows users to prank others with prefab prank calls, to troll Chris. While these calls were uploaded in [[October 2011]], they may have been created at an earlier time due to the references to "[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself|spoofing]]" and [[HippoOnYourHead]].

===Part 1===
The first call uses a template involving an angry woman confronting the caller for supposedly trying to hook up with her boyfriend; Chris completely falls for it and tries to explain that any potential calls she's getting are from trolls impersonating him.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|Jzx3qMsESZ0}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
'''Woman (Soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, hello.
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah?
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' Yeah, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' ...uh, this is Christian Chandler.
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' I don't know who ''you'' are.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my name is Christian Chandler, who are you?
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' Look, I’ve seen your number on my man’s cell history.
 '''Chris:''' ...trolls are pretend--I have, I am internet--miss, I have tro--I, I have tro...
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' Why are you calling my boyfriend?
 '''Chris:''' I have trolls and cyberbullies, ''I'' do not call anybody...
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' What's going on?
 '''Chris:''' It's somebody pre--it's people who pretend to be me, with spoofing...
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' [''talked over by Chris''] How long has this going on for?
 '''Chris:''' ...which essentially pretends--this has been going on for years.
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' Tell me the truth!
 '''Chris:''' So, it's not me, it's-it's, it is...
 '''Barbara:''' [''in the background''] Hang up!
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' telling the truth, it's these people on the internet, or, people...
 '''Woman (Soundboard):''' [''laughs'']
 '''Announcer:''' You've just been pranked by PrankDial.com!
 [''Chris sits silently for a few moments, before hanging up'']

|}

===Part 2===
Later that day, the same troll used the website on Chris again, with the audio this time coming from the early viral "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE2PsfeQm-0 she kick my dog]" call. However, this time, Chris realizes what's going on (possibly due to the call occurring not long after the other one), and shuts down the call with an avalanche of [[random-access humor]].

<center>{{#ev:youtube|VAqCOx34wpg}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
'''Kerpal (Soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, hello?
 '''Kerpal (Soundboard):''' I'm just calling because I live down the street from you, and your daughter's come to my house today and she kicked my dog.
 '''Chris:''' [''completely talking over the prank voiceover''] Oh yeah? Well, I like to play video games, I have a hippo on my head, and oh yes, you have a hippo on your head too! It's called a hippo campus! And there's a monkey on my head! Gigigigigigigi! '''You've just been pranked by Antiprankwebsite.com!'''
 '''Kerpal (Soundboard):''' Eh, what--? [''call ends'']

|}

==Chris Chan calls Time-Life==
{{Template:Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|D0wD-XYm6_M}}</center>
{{Transcript}}

=="The many Prank Calls of Chris Chan"==
In this series of calls, another gaggle of weens repeatedly call Chris under the guise of wanting to conduct an interview with him. Chris goes along with it at first, but quickly hangs up after one of the trolls brings up his sex tapes. After three more failed attempts at calling him, which end with Chris pretending to get feedback, wittering on about how he is STRAIGHT, and quickly hanging up, respectively, he continues on with a call at the very end, when one of the weens poses as a fan named Avril/Lily. "Avril" manages to secure a time and date for the "interview", which never ended up happening.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|2IgU5Nl1Z1c}}</center>
{{Quote|It's okay to be stupid, but NOT homosexual, you can QUOTE me on that!|Chris}}
{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
<poem>
'''Troll #1:''' [''talking over Chris unintentionally''] Well, you guys are, like, bad...
'''Chris:''' Hello? [''pause''] Hello?
'''Troll #2:''' Yeah.
'''Chris:''' Hello?
'''Troll #2:''' Who is this?
'''Chris:''' Uh.....I should be asking that question.
'''Troll #1:''' You're Chris-Chan, aren't you?
'''Chris:''' Yes.
'''Troll #1:''' Uh-huuuh.
'''Troll #2:''' Wait, you ''are'' Chris-Chan?
'''Troll #1:''' Oh, really?
'''Troll #2:''' Oh, hello there.
'''Chris:''' Yes--
'''Troll #1:''' You're the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy, aren't you?
'''Chris:''' Yes.
'''Troll #1:''' You have, like, a high amount of autism, don't you?
'''Chris:''' Uh, what?
'''Troll #2:''' [''talking over Chris''] Eh, don't worry, I have autism too, I...just...
'''Troll #1:''' Hey, Chris-Chan, we just want a word with you. Um, what was your inspiration for ''Sonichu''?
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I can't quite--I did not quite understand that, I got my mind on other things as well at the moment.
'''Troll #1:''' Well, mm-mm--well, anyways, Chris-Chan, what was your biggest inspiration for ''Sonichu''?
'''Chris:''' Hmm...oh, wa--oh so many things that I can't really say off the top of my head right now.
'''Troll #1:''' Isn't it a conversion of S-uh, Pokémon and Sonic, correct?
'''Chris:''' It's--that is one thing, yes, but there are so many other things as well.
'''Troll #1:''' [''blowing the call almost immediately''] And you make sex tapes. [''chuckles'']
'''Troll #2:''' Oh, don't you go and do that! Idiot.
'''Troll #1:''' Oh, sorry...
'''Troll #2:''' Dammit...
[''Chris hangs up, and after a few seconds of silence the default Skype hangup sound is heard'']
'''Troll #2:''' Dammit, Leonard(?), you went a little too far.
'''Troll #3:''' You blew it.....you blew it! At least we knew something. Right?
'''Troll #2:''' Mmmhmm.
'''Troll #3:''' Rrrrright?
'''Troll #2:''' Right.
[''they call him again'']
'''Chris:''' Hey, [[Kim]]! [''pause''] Kim? ...hello?
'''Troll #1:''' Christian?
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, who is this?
'''Troll #1:''' Uhhhhh, well, we--a bunch of people, my friends, we both, uh, decided to interview you if you don't mind.
'''Chris:''' [''poorly imitating feedback''] Ah-kk-kkkk-I-kkkk-can't-kkkk-hear-kkkk-going-kkkk-through-kkkk-the-kkkk-ground, uhhh, ugh-kkkk-talk to you...guys...later! [''hangs up'']
'''Troll #1:''' Uhh...i-it won't be...''that douchebag!'' Where--
[''they call him again'']
'''Chris:''' Hello?
'''Troll #1:''' Hello, Chris-Chan, my name is John Speed. I'm one of your biggest fans and I wanna know if I can do an interview with you?
'''Chris:''' I will answer one question, and that will be: I AM STRAIGHT.
'''Troll #1:''' That's--
'''Chris:''' The--I only made that video as a ''mockery'', as a slanderous mockery, like is it--it was done in ''[[Monty Python]] Flying Circus'', except now it--now, '''it's'''..."''Really Stupid Flying Jackass''"!
'''Troll #1:''' [''tries talking, is continually interrupted'']
'''Chris:''' So, that's what--so, that was basically the premise of that video, and I'm about to make an announcement video, cons--to, uh, emphasize that, I was going--I was going with the direct, uh--direction of ''stupid''...in the, duh, ih, the definition of "stupid" then referring to the word GEHHHHH! EHH! It's okay to be stupid, but NOT homosexual, you can QUOTE me on that! You can QUOTE me on that! Bye-bye.
'''Troll #1:''' .....FUCK!
'''Troll #3:''' Uh, the contrary(?)...
'''Troll #1:''' Fail number three. [''sarcastic applause''] Thaaaaat's it. We can't call him.
[''they nevertheless call him again'']
'''Chris:''' Hello?
'''Troll #3:''' Hello, Chris-Chan! ['''Chris:''' ...goodbye!] Or, can I say, father?
'''Troll #1:''' YOU GOT PWNED BY CHRIS-CHAN! [''the other trolls laugh'']
'''Troll #3:''' ''What?''
'''Troll #2:''' Chris-Chan pwned!
'''Troll #3:''' Really, what? Since when has Chris-Chan been--
[''they call him one last time'']
'''Chris:''' Hello?
'''Female Troll:''' Hello, um, is this Christian Weston Chandler?
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, who is this?
'''Female Troll:''' Oh, um, I'm sorry we've never been properly introduced here, uh, my name is, um, Avril. See, my-my real name is Lily, but my, uh, my screenname on the internet is "Avril the Hedgehog", and I'm from a, uh, a small, close-knit Sonic community and we would like to conduct a phone interview with you if you d-if you don't mind.
'''Chris:''' Well, uh, uh--I would not mind but I'm busy at the moment, so, perhaps another time?
'''Female Troll:''' Alright, well, tell me whatever time's best for you and I will contact you then, I will patch you in for anytime you're available except for tomorrow, tomorrow I will be busy. But Monday or Tuesday is probably the best time for me.
'''Chris:''' I see, what will you be doing tomorrow?
'''Female Troll:''' Tomorrow, I have to do some stuff with my family, my, um, father's moving into a new house, I have to make sure everything is all checked out, so that's, I'm gonna be out of the house all day, I'm going to be very, very busy. Real estate, y'know.
'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, uh, did you say Tuesday was not good?
'''Female Troll:''' Tuesday's fine with me, I can do Tuesday.
'''Chris:''' A'ight, Tuesday night then.
'''Female Troll:''' Alright, Tuesday, what time?
'''Chris:''' About--about 9:00 Eastern.
'''Female Troll:''' Oh, that's wonderful, that's perfect for me, thank you very much, Chris.
'''Chris:''' Alright, what timezone do you live in?
'''Female Troll:''' I live in Eastern as well, so this is perfect for me.
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, take care, be safe.
'''Female Troll:''' You too, thank you very very very much. Okay.</poem>
|}

==Sonichussy Call==
On 26 [[December 2023]], Twitter user Caseyj109 uploaded a video, and wrote "@CPU_CWCSonichu why didn’t you answer my phone call? #chrischan #cwcville #sonichu"<ref>https://twitter.com/Caseyj109/status/1739863842207805592 ([https://twitter.com/Caseyj109/status/1739863842207805592 archive])</ref> The video depicts Casey calling [[Barbara Chandler]] and asking for "[[Weening|Sonichussy]]", which unsurprisingly goes nowhere.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|nb7LVaW9Lhg}}</center>

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|
'''Casey:''' [''video starts mid-sentence''] --ourt house?
 '''Barbara:''' Yup, what'cha need?
 '''Casey:''' Hello, is, uh, is-is, is Christine there?
 '''Barbara:''' No.
 '''Casey:''' No?
 '''Barbara:''' Christine does not live here.
 '''Casey:''' [''drowned out by Barb''] She doe--?
 '''Barbara:''' Why do you need her--why do you need Christine?
 '''Casey:''' I'm just trying to figure out what that Sonichussy's like.
 '''Barbara:''' You tryin' to figurin' out what?
 '''Casey:''' What that So, what that Sonichussy's like.
 '''Barbara:''' Oh...
 '''Casey:''' ...yes, ma'am?
 '''Barbara:''' I don't know. Just watch, just watch the co... read the comic books.
 '''Casey:''' Read the comic books?
 '''Barbara:''' Yeah.
 '''Casey:''' Okay. And I'll figure out what that Sonichussy be like?
 '''Barbara:''' ...okay, bye.
 '''Casey:''' ''(imitating Barb)'' Bye. ''(giggles like an idiot)''
|}

{{FanChats}}
{{References}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Xela

2026-04-13T19:00:04Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Baby Rumor */

{{Autistic}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred
|Has pushed several rumors, especially in the hopes of provoking a reaction<ref name=pushing></ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/flutter-egg-cabbage-patch-meryl-food-lion-lady.180104/page-160#post-19940536 ([https://archive.fo/O4oZW archive])</ref>|Is noted for having delusions of grandeur.<ref group = note>Xela considers his attempts at uncovering recent events as his "research", though he has yet to have made any major breakthroughs. He sometimes claims research done by other people as his own. He also always attempts to recruit people to do the work for him when he announces such plans. He also [https://kiwifarms.st/threads/flutter-egg-cabbage-patch-meryl-food-lion-lady.180104/page-155#post-19936828 treated pushing the pregnancy rumor as an "accomplishment"].</ref>|Has a history of making bold, accusatory claims.<ref group = note>Has accused people on Kiwi Farms of protecting [[Caden Peck]] when they supposedly showed no interest in keeping tabs on him.</ref>|Gives contradicting claims over his actions and intentions<ref name=xelageno></ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19555631 ([https://archive.fo/t9Zrx archive])</ref>}}

{{quote|Why did we become what we are today? Christian Weston Chandler and his delusions. But we are something more, we are investigators of people dangerous to society. Our methods are never as bad as those we use them against.

If people are afraid of us, this means we pose a threat. And, as we have shown many times, we are. Maybe not Anonymous level, but we can get people doxxed/arrested/killed. We are, in many ways, better than many official agencies.|Xela, on the [[Kiwi Farms]] gossip forum, which primarily documents lolcows<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/total-retard-war-lessons-of-war.178523/post-17374636 ([https://archive.fo/q6XgT archive])</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
|title = Xela
|name = Alex
| aliases = Xela 
XelaBlueThunder 
Zeus Blue Thunder
|image = Zeus Blue Thunder.png
|size = 250
|gender = [[MALE]]
|nation = Polish
|knownfor = {{•}} Trying to "expose" Chris once and for all. 
{{•}} Creating a widespread rumor that Chris and Flutter were going to have a baby.
|saga = '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Xela'''<ref group = "note>His first name [[Chris_and_English#Backwards_spelling|spelled backwards]].</ref> (born circa 2000s),<ref group = note>Xela [https://kiwifarms.st/threads/fan-ai-thread.188946/post-18138776 mentioned] preparing for final high school exams as of 2024.</ref> also known as '''Zeus Blue Thunder''', is a [[ween]] and [[Carpetbaggers|attention seeker]] with delusions of grandeur. Xela, who lives in Poland, has made multiple attempts to exert influence over Chris, such as by reporting him, attempting to break into his email, and pushing a rumor about him. Xela is also known for having obsessions with Chris's associates [[Caden]] and [[Flutter]] and tried to influence others to act in regards to them.

==Weening==
Xela has had many ambitious trolling schemes that have ultimately led to no big developments. Most of these revolved around reporting Chris's works, attempts at socially engineering the CWCsphere, as well as getting information on some of his associates.

===Attempts at Social Engineering===
On 24 November 2023, Xela posted on Kiwi Farms about wanting to "really expose Chris" by attempting to gain access to his emails or uncover his current phone number. Xela stated that he himself was unable to social engineer people, but suggested that others try to do so by calling Chris's email provider,<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-17224457 ([https://archive.fo/PNgCH archive])</ref> which would be a criminal offense. Xela also remarked that he had paid $20 to WhitePages in his attempt to gather information on Chris's accounts. On 11 October 2024, Xela again posted to claim that he had been attempting to access Chris's email account, and that he had contacted what he believed to be a hacker to attempt to access info on some of Chris's profiles.<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19551678 ([https://archive.fo/YDiwq archive])</ref>

===Reporting Campaigns===
Xela had also tried many times to get Chris's work deleted, or to have him banned from the platforms he uses.

On 15 August 2024, Xela claimed in a [[Kiwi Farms]] post to have been reporting Chris's Twitter for "violent extremism" when Chris would post #RussiaisMLPG5 tweets. This resulted in his post being given a warning by forum moderation which read: "nobody cares".<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19095983 ([https://archive.fo/ZDuYj archive])</ref>

On 10 September 2024, Xela claimed that [[Etsy]] reports "do not work" and that he had considered but ruled out attempting to organize a campaign on Kiwi Farms and Reddit.<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19303960 ([https://archive.fo/l77v3 archive])</ref>

The same day, Xela claimed that he reported Chris to [[Nintendo]] for copyright infringement, but got no reply back. He further said he was unable to find contact info for [[Sega]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19304457 ([https://archive.fo/l77v3 archive])</ref> This resulted in him being given a temporary ban from Kiwi Farms.<ref name=xelageno>[[:File:XelaGeno.png]]</ref>

===Stalking of Associates===
[[File:XelaGeno.png|thumb|200px|Xela attempting to ask [[Geno Samuel]] for information on Flutter. Geno did not respond.]]
A large part of Xela's attempt at trolling was trying to figure out information on Chris's recent associates, but most especially [[Flutter]] and [[Caden Peck]].

On 11 August 2024, in response to a Kiwi Farms user who sarcastically joked Xela could go to [[Big Island, VA]] to rescue Chris, Xela commented that he would if he lived in the area. He then claimed to have a "plan" for Chris's associate [[Flutter]], to acquire high quality pics of her "plus extra". Xela's posts on the matter were then derided by Kiwi Farms owner [[Null]], who called him a "retard" and told him to keep the matter to himself.<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-2120#post-19067856 ([https://archive.fo/uIgbU archive])</ref>

On 29 September 2024, Xela sent a DM to [[Geno Samuel]], who had released a video sent to him showing Chris and Flutter in [[Finland]]. In the DM, Xela asked Geno for more information and claimed about Flutter that:<ref name=xelageno></ref>

{{quoteboxred|I wouldn't doxx her, however. My goal was simply to find who she is, contact her and ask her about her involvement in Christory,}}

Xela later complained on a Finnish imageboard that Geno did not respond to him.<ref>https://ylilauta.org/satunnainen/27nxqc#post-259131386 ([https://ghostarchive.org/archive/RqqyG archive])</ref>

In October 2024, after the news of Chris and Flutter being in Finland, Xela mentioned he had been contacting a few Finnish people but that none were willing to be arrested to find proof of where Chris was staying.<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-19600272 ([https://archive.fo/CRxxD archive])</ref>

In addition to targeting Chris and Flutter, Xela has complained about a perceived lack of action by other Kiwi Farms users on Chris's associate and [[Praetor]] leader Caden, suggesting that either users are incompetent or that they are protecting Caden.<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-2116#post-19026065 ([https://archive.fo/k032w archive])</ref> Xela believes that for Chris to be considered a lolcow again, Caden must be "cut out".<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/flutter-egg-cabbage-patch-meryl-food-lion-lady.180104/post-19205684 ([https://archive.fo/rL9cx archive])</ref>

==Baby Rumor==
On 24 November 2024, Xela spread a rumor on Kiwi Farms that Chris and [[Flutter]] were planning to [[Pregnant Act|have a baby]] in summer 2025. Xela based this both on an erroneous summary on the CWCki, as well as a misinterpreted clip of Chris speaking on [[Jesus Christ Chan - Shadow Generations Speed Run|a livestream]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/flutter-egg-cabbage-patch-meryl-food-lion-lady.180104/post-19926006 ([https://archive.fo/slYzg archive])</ref> The rumor quickly spread. It was promoted by Kiwi Farms owner [[Null]], several [[Christubers]] such as [[Geno Samuel]], and tabloid media such as ''Daily Mail''. Later, when the veracity of the rumor was in question, Xela posted in Geno Samuel's Discord server:<ref name=pushing>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/flutter-egg-cabbage-patch-meryl-food-lion-lady.180104/post-19941326 ([https://archive.fo/QDUTz archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxred|One good thing, and the main reason why I am still going with this and pushing it, is because this is gonna have serious repercussions for Chris by itself.

Hell, it could even self destruct [[Praetor]].

Maybe even get us [[Flutter]].

Again, this is one of the biggest Chris Chan related controversies ever, probably on the same level or above the prison rumor.

Even if the info itself is false, the consequences of it being everywhere of the net might be insane for Chris.}}

==See also==
*[[Kiwi Farms posts (Zeus Blue Thunder)]]
*[[Anthony LoGatto]]
*[[Michael Hirtes]]
*[[Spooky Bones]] - A prior example of someone gaining a ton of influence, and spreading rumors across the CWCSphere.

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{People}}
[[Category:CWCki Editors]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Poland]]
[[Category:Zoomer Generation]]
[[Category:Autistic]]

ECV 00002

2026-04-13T01:54:06Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Video */

[[File:ChrisChanTechnologyMR.jpg|thumb|How Chris uses science and technology to achieve his ultimate transformation.]]
{{Quote|I was actually surprised on how my torso would look blue, then after I painted my face, before the headwear, I reminded myself of the Marvel superhero [[wikipedia:Nightcrawler (comics)|Nightcrawler]]|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>}}

'''ECV 00002''' is a video uploaded on 10 [[October 2010]] in which [[Chris]] uses the power of [[Random Access Humor]] and jump cuts to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his Super-Mode]]. [[Jackie]] requested this video two days prior.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>

The results are mixed; Chris at least attempts to use the same pose and positioning before and after the jump cut, but this baby step towards competence is overshadowed by a [[retard]]-fall back by the slip-shod cosplay self-paint job. An odd, incomplete white field over most of his face meant to resemble [[Sonic]]/[[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]-style eyes, a cone-ear constructed out of construction paper (which regularly falls off, despite Chris's lack of movement), and a white "chest-fur" patch, which is supposed to be an outline of the [[Medallion of Fail]] only serve to further damage Chris's physical appearance.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00002
| ytid = Z1EiG1v7kG4
| stardate = 10 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}, Body paint
| previous = [[A Hike]]
| next = [[100 2277]]
}}

{{quote|Don't torture me. At least I am doing this and... I have myself a woman, so there.}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, folks! Hm. Well, [[Monty Python|and now for something completely different]]. [[Electric Hedgehog]] [[power]]! PEW!

[''Jump cut. Chris is now dressed as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The transformation straightens his back, lowers and bends his arms, and moves a few items in the background'']

Pew. [''Chris-chan Sonichu's right ear begins to fall off''] This would be me in my super mode! [''Chris puts the right ear back on''] ...if I actually had the super powers! [''The right ear falls off yet again, but is put back in place''] [[Chris and reality|But I don't in real life.]] But I dressed up like this anyway, to, I don't know, [''The same ear falls off yet again, promptly readjusted''] just to say something or just to have fun.

Anyway, live an [[Honest content|honest life]], don't [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]], don't [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|badmouth people]]... It's just not cool. You know? Don't pic- don't torture me. At least I am doing this and... I have myself a woman, [[Chris and his Ego|so there]]. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Especially these videos]].

[[Jackie]], I [[love]] you. I want to hold you in my arms, [[sweetheart]]. You come over right on here and we'll [[Chris and sex|do each other]] right. [[Sex tape|Sweet times]]...

[''Pause.'']

Alright, anyway, stay in school, stay well... um... you know. Just live [[Chris and English|rife]] peace- live peacefully. Don't take- don't [[Chris and anger|be angry at people]]. Don't be mean. OK? A'ight. Take care.

==Fan videoa==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Henshin
| ytid = MPeuSdTo0NI
| maker = rba718
| stardate = 10 [[October 2010]]
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Electric.. Hedgehog... POWER!!
| ytid = O-x79CykdlU
| maker = Osito Blue
| stardate = 25 [[January 2023]]
| type =Animation }}

==Fan art==

<gallery>
File:Hpowers.jpg|Electric furry powers!
File:128678188337.png
File:128677654690.jpg
</gallery>
==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Hike]]|nextlink=[[100 2277]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-10]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-10]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-10]]

GameFAQs

2026-04-12T01:21:13Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:GameFAQsProfile.png|thumb|300px||Chris's GameFAQs profile]]

'''GameFAQs''' is a popular, long-running website featuring strategy guides for nearly every game that has ever existed. It also houses a thriving message board community. The userbase is basically a TV-Y7 to PG-13 version of [[4-cent_garbage.com|/v/]], depending on which board you visit.

[[Chris]] has likely been aware of the website for a while, but he never signed up for an account or posted on the forums until [[November 2009]]. His posts were nothing unusual — he complained about ''[[CWC Fighter|Street Fighter IV]]'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', and tried once more to plug [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to the masses. He last logged into the site on 22 [[March 2012]].

==Chris's threads==

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/954362-littlebigplanet/52314550/575378713 LBP Crosstalk]===

{{quotebox|
ChrisCSonichu
Posted 11/19/2009 4:35:06 PM

Has anyone figured out the Crosstalk between the two [[LBP]] games; How is it done?}}

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/975212-super-street-fighter-iv/54555218/601106754 DO NOT Trade in SFIV for SSFIV, a WARNING]===

{{quotebox|
ChrisCSonichu
Posted 4/28/2010 9:25:30 AM

I just did this yesterday; got over $10 trade-in credit at [[GameStop]] on this. I was expecting the Save Data to carry over onto SSFIV from SFIV; I was WRONG. It ONLY unlocked 11 and 12 colors, true, but it created a [[Chris and English|SEPERATE]] ''[sic]'' Trophy Category and SEPERATE ''[sic]'' Save Game Data.

KEEP YOUR [[CWC Fighter|Street Fighter IV]] Game!

PSN: Sonichu
[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421000144/http://cogsdev.110mb.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page]}}

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/54555151 Spoiler Alert; Mystery Mods Linked]===

{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 4/28/2010 9:15:55 AM

I have just looked at the [[PSN Blogs|PSBlog]], http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/, on the Mystery Mod Karts revealed with Images. Then I went to modnation.com; on the Pre-Order Tab, they had between Amazon, [[Best Buy]] and GameStop their characters of Ratchet/Clank, Nathan Drake and Kratos, EACH Character + Different Mystery Mod Images. Linking the Shaded Images with the revealed Mods on the Blog, I've solved This Mystery. It is certainly NOT a "Luck of the Draw".

On Amazon, It will be Ratchet & Clank + Woody.
On Best Buy, It will be Nathan Drake + Lil Tinker.
On GameStop, It will be Kratos + Mouse Trap.

That Leaves the FOURTH Mod, the Cowboy. Further investigating the Blog Page, they mentioned GameCrazy, so I went over there, and on the ModNation Racer description page, http://www.gamecrazy.com/games/game.aspx?id<nowiki>=</nowiki>14551, they talk about THIER Exclusive Character and Kart, a "Nukular Set with Mauler Kart and Accessories". And with the process of Elimination...

On GameCrazy, It will be Nukular + Cowboy.

Now, my next question, since there was NO talk on the Blog or an Image for it, WHO or WHAT is "Nukular"/"Mauler"? Image Links or Info on this Character/Game would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler,
[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421000144/http://cogsdev.110mb.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page]}}
{{quoteboxred|Quicksilver9448 Posted 4/28/2010 9:18:44 AM

those pictures are just for show...the mystery mods will be completely random no matter where you pre-order from, the developers said so themselves.

---

Game on...

PSN: BlueRangerSuo}}
{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 4/28/2010 9:21:05 AM

PSN: Sonichu

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Check out MY Self-Character, Sonichu Kart, and [[Cwcville]] Track I created in the ModNation Beta on my Cwcipedia; ALL have been uploaded onto the ModNation Server.}}
{{quoteboxred|PHOENIXZERO Posted 4/28/2010 9:33:40 AM

I take it you didn't actually read the comments? It's not an indication of what extra mod is going where, it was just an example.

Amazon, Gamestop and Best Buy Pre-orders get their exclusive (Ratchet & Clank, Nathan Drake or Kratos) + Sackboy (will also be available for a limited time while supplies last for post release purchases) + One Random "mystery mod".

---

Not changing this sig until I get the chance to either personally ***** out Yuke's or punch Cory Ledesma in the face. ~11/13/2007}}
{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 4/28/2010 9:49:04 AM

Oh, yeah? Well, LOOK at the Card included with the Pre-Order Box at ANY Best Buy; YOU WILL SEE Lil Tinker's Shadow Image with Nathan Drake on THAT CARD as well. When you redeem your Codes from each respective character, don't be surprised when you find the EXACT Matching Mystery Mod as I Have Noted.}}
{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 4/28/2010 9:52:20 AM

And I will ask this question One More Time...

WHO or WHAT is "Nukular"/"Mauler"?}}

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/54377904?page=4 The FIRST character you'll create upon getting this game.]===

{{quotebox|
ChrisCSonichu
Posted 4/28/2010 9:51:11 AM

Already Made MY Character/Kart/Track in the BETA

Character: [[Ego|Myself]], Christian Weston Chandler (A.K.A. Chris Chan)
Kart: Sonichu Kart
Track: [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]]

They are ALL Uploaded onto the Server, and can be checked out on my website, the Cwcipedia, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100421000144/http://cogsdev.110mb.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page].

PSN: Sonichu}}

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/991761-sam-and-max-the-devils-playhouse-episode-2-the/answers?qid=192287 How do I get the Doppel Fluch Trophy?]===

{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 5/19/2010 3:01:00 PM

I am having a bit of trouble getting this Trophy. "Cause German Passenger to be saddled with two [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] at the same time." I know how to get that dude inflicted with the [[Autism|Woman repellant Curse]] on the Train. The only other curse I can see probably possible is getting him turned into a cow, yet the only other thing I can get him to be is a Vampire.Can anyone shed some light on this topic, please? And be as specific as possible on how (if it can be done) to get him turned into a cow.The real Christian W. ChandlerPSN: Sonichu.}}

''Not content with waiting for an answer, he decided to ask the question [http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/991761-sam-and-max-the-devils-playhouse-episode-2-the/54842711 twice]. The first thread was later deleted.''

===Extra Kratos/Gopher Codes===

{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 7/17/2010 3:30:36 PM

I have two of them, and I am looking for the Cowboy and the Mouse Mystery Mods; I wish to trade. Please respond by sending me an e-mail to ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com with your MNR Preorder Code (from GameStop, BestBuy or Amazon.com). The code will be immediately verified for Validity and Mystery Mod Content; If satisfactory, I will reply immediately after with one of my two codes.

Thank You.

Also, please download my Cwcville 2.0 Track to help me get my Splines Trophy. Thank You again.}}
''This thread was deleted by forum [[Jerkop|moderators]].''

===Mouse Trap and Cowboy Mystery Mods Still Required===

{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted: 7/18/2010 1:59:00 PM

The PreOrder MNR PSN Codes are still good for TODAY ONLY; I have 2 Kratos/Gopher Codes to Trade. Send me your offer DIRECTLY through the PSN, Online ID: Sonichu. Or send me your offer through e-mail at ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com.

Thank You.}}

''This thread was also deleted by the moderators.''

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/55763728 Sonichu Images Uploaded]===

{{quotebox|ChrisCSonichu Posted 7/27/2010 6:25:30 PM
Go check out the Preview Images under the MNR (PS3)'s "Images" Tab; they have their own category on the Front Page.

PSN: Sonichu

Come on in, download and play the Official Mods, Karts and Cwcville Tracks straight from their original Creator, Christian Weston Chandler (me).

Peace,
Christian W. Chandler.
July 27, 2010 }}

''Notably, almost all of the Modnation Racers [http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/images reader screenshots] [[Ego|feature Chris's creations]].''

===[https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/answers/210732-ps3-and-psp-combination-content PS3 and PSP Combination Content?]===

{{quotebox|I understand that having BOTH the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] versions of [[ModNation Racers]] unlocks Content on the PSP version. How do I link the two versions to unlock the content?

From: ChrisChanSonichu, 7/19/2010 12:32:49 AM}}

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/991761-when-does-it-come-out/answers?qid=191985 When does it come out???????????????????]===

{{quoteboxred|
Question from steventaylor99
So When}}
{{quoteboxred|
From: batterybarn 4 months ago - Report Abuse

just came out today on PSN}}
{{quotebox|From: ChrisCSonichu 4 months ago - Report Abuse

It is out NOW! Go download it.}}

''This thread was later deleted.''

===[http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/605257-beat-sketcher/answers?qid=247646&mid=0 The Beat Sketcher GOLD Trophy?]===

{{quotebox|ChrisChanSonichu Posted 12/18/2010 7:48:30 PM

Obviously it should be a no-brainer, "Move the Cursor 10,000 Meters" around and around on the game screen, right? Well I have been [[Mass debating|waving my Move Controller back and forth over and over repeatedly]], and I swear I must have gone beyond 10,000.

WHAT IS THE DEAL?!

Are we supposed to draw as we move? Is it the Cursor Movement on a Pause Screen or Title Menu? Is there a way of tracking the progress of cursor movement in the game?

Someone, please tell me how you have earned your Golden Beat Sketcher Trophy?

PSN: Sonichu}}

''Once again Chris decided to post this message [http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/605257-beat-sketcher/57525930 twice], with neither getting any responses. Like before, the first thread was later deleted.''

==External links==
* [https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/community/ChrisCSonichu Chris's GameFAQs profile] [https://web.archive.org/web/20190131204205/https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/community/ChrisCSonichu (archive)]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Websites]]

Harvey Birdman commercial

2026-04-04T22:09:31Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Quote|My entry was very dramatic, and a lot BETTER than that piece of poo, or any of the others that made the top 5 as well! I'm very upset about that! [[Chris and his Ego|My "CWC's Harvey Birdaman Spot" was the BEST, and I feel sorry for you]], [[Adult Swim]], for not noticing that! You all should take another good look at it and seriously reconsider!|[[Chris]], being a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|good loser]] as ever.<ref>[[Adult Swim posts]]</ref>}}

The '''Harvey Birdman Commercial''' is a commercial produced by Chris in February [[2005]] as part of a contest held for [[Sonic Boom|Cartoon Network]]'s [[Adult Swim]] block. Adult Swim held a contest inviting viewers to make a commercial for the ''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law]], Vol. 1'' DVD set (or ''[[Speech impediment|Harvey Dirdban]]'', as he seems to pronounce it). Always willing to earn fame and fortune with minimal effort, Chris stepped up and produced an advertisement promoting himself, his eternal rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]]...and Harvey Birdman.

Chris is not famed for his conciseness, to say the least, but due to the contest rules specifying 28-30 second entries, Chris chose his loquacious pitch at a manic pace rather than omitting anything from his agenda. One can only imagine [[Animal Crossing Documentary|the 17-minute infomercial]] Chris would have delivered, had he been allowed.

Shockingly, Chris's barely comprehensible spiel about self-promotion with a cursory mention of Harvey Birdman did not win. This inspired him to post a complaint on [[Adult Swim posts|the [as] forums]] (to be precise, he posted the same complaint twice), but for some reason, Chris's idea of justice was never served.

The commercial appears in somewhat poor quality on ''[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]'', but he also uploaded a better version of the same footage to his original [[YouTube#Sonichu_.28May_2007-September_2008.29|YouTube]] account some time prior to 31 October [[2007]].

==Appearance==
If one can look past the [[Chris and cinematography|poor lighting]], viewers may notice that, in this video, Chris actually wasn't that [[fat]] during this period in his life. Not as fat as now, anyway. Also, if Chris were to record this today, he would almost certainly tear off his [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|glasses]] for maximum effect.

==Chris's entry==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| ytid = k5mOW4tK6Yw
| stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| subject = {{Television|[[Contests]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
| next = [[Pixelated PS3]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
HELLO! I hired Harvey [[Speech impediment|Dirdban]], Attorney at Law, to help ME, Christian Weston Chandler, in my case against Mary Lee Walsh, who, years ago, shattered my heart. And he has won the case for me, and he has won for me...a ''Harvey Birdman'' 2-disc DVD box set which comes out April 12, 2005!

Features deleted scenes! Live-action open! Casting what-ifs and [[Wikipedia:Stephen Colbert|Stephen Coleburt]] and [[Wikipedia:Todd Barry|Todd Barry]] as Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law! ''Harvey Birdman'' movie! "Shaggy Busted" pencil tests! And episode commentary!

Let Harvey Birdman work for you!

[''rapidly displays two custom cards depicting himself and [[Sonichu]]''] This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu production. Thank you very much! [''Note: this last line was accidentally cut from the VHS-sourced version of this video'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]|nextlink=[[Pixelated PS3]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{References}}

[[Category:2005]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2005-02-24]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Card games

2026-04-03T22:35:23Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Ugh! Will someone buy this set of cards already, please!|Chris promoting his (overpriced) TSSSF card packs.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1264964434000326657?s=19</ref>}}

Throughout his life, [[Chris]] has wasted large quantities of [[monthly tugboat|federal tax money]] on '''trading card games''' (TCG). To date, Chris has played seven different ones: ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''UFS'' (''Universal Fighting System''), ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' TCG, ''[[The Eye of Judgment]]'', ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]'' and ''Magic: The Gathering''. For much of his adult life, trading card games have been Chris's primary social outlet.

==List of TCGs Chris has played==
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|If only life were more like ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''…]]
[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|Chris in ''[[The Eye of Judgment]]''.]]

===Pokémon TCG===
{{main|Pokémon}}

The '''Pokémon TCG''' was first introduced in Japan in October [[1996]], then North America in December [[1998]]. It was initially published by Wizards of the Coast. Chris started getting into the Pokémon TCG in [[1999]], and made his own deck and custom Pokémon Cards. He also [[Inventions|invented]] a special "heavy-duty case" made from [[Lego]] bricks and held together with tape, to carry his card decks.

In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Chris ran an ad proposing a Pokémon TCG expansion titled ''EX-CWC''. This ad firmly establishes Christian's custom trading cards as part of the Sonichu franchise. Also, it reaffirms Chris's [[Chris and his ego|rampant narcissism]], as he names the proposed expansion after himself (just like he names everything) instead of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] characters that would occupy the expansion.

===Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG===
{{main|Yu-Gi-Oh!}}

The '''Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG''' came out worldwide in [[2002]], and was developed and published by Konami. The earliest sources we have of Chris playing the game are from [[2004]], when he started making a bunch of custom cards. Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] during a ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' match in the summer of [[2005]].

===Sailor Moon TCG===
{{main|Sailor Moon}}

The '''Sailor Moon TCG''' was released in [[2000]] by Dart Flipcards Inc. We know Chris got into this game through Megan, who was a big fan of it, but he has never referenced to it very much outside of the emails. During the [[Julie|Julie Saga]], Chris had a bunch of ''Sailor Moon'' cards up on his website.

===The Eye of Judgment TCG===
{{main|The Eye of Judgment}}

'''The Eye of Judgment''' is a TCG/videogame hybrid released in [[2007]] by [[Sony]]. Chris got into this game quite heavily, because it could be played online, and [[autism|no social interaction]] was needed. This game came into quite a few videos, and Chris probably [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologized]] to [[the GAMe PLACe]] because of it.

===UFS (Ultimate Fighting System) TCG===
The '''{{w|Universal Fighting System}}''' (now known as ''UniVersus'') is a collectible card game originally designed by Sabertooth Games and currently published by UVS Games. It was first released in [[2006]], and involves popular fighting video game characters. According to [[Mimms]], Chris usually played with female characters, like Cassandra from ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' or [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]] from ''Street Fighter''.
{{clear}}

===Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder TGC===
{{main|Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder}}

'''Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder (TSSSF)''' is a fan-made [[My Little Pony]] trading card game about "shipping" ponies, made to parody ship culture. Chris discovered the game at or around [[Bronycon#2019|Bronycon 2019]], taking a liking to it. Almost immediately afterwords, Chris began producing his own original cards, mostly featuring characters from ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

===Magic: The Gathering===
'''{{w|Magic: The Gathering}}''' is the first ever trading card game, released in [[1990s#1993|1993]] by {{w|Wizards of the Coast}}. Chris was seen playing it at card game shops - Modern Table Top Gaming in Chester, VA on 30 [[May 2023]]<ref>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Modern Table Top Gaming]]</ref> and Dragon Fire Games in [[Lynchburg, VA]] on 20 [[July 2023]].<ref>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Dragon Fire Games]]</ref>

Chris stated on [[Twitter]] that he's played some Magic with a few Commander Deck Tournaments, and commented that the game "has quite the learning curve when it comes to greater strategies."<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Magic: the Gathering]]</ref>

==Tarot==
{{main|Tarot}}
Chris got into Tarot readings as part of his New Age spiritiual beliefs.

==List of places where Chris has played TCGs==

===Books-A-Million===

[[Image:0499-BooksAMillionChesterfield.jpg|thumb|The Books-A-Million in Chesterfield]]

Chris claims to have volunteered as an assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Midlothian, Virginia '''Books-A-Million''' between March [[1998]] and June [[2000]].<ref name="Resume">[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref> This is impossible, as the Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year. It is also unsure as to what extent Chris was actually "assistant Gym Leader," and whether or not he was just mucking about and behaving like a toddler. Chris would have stopped going here after his family moved 77 miles (125 km) back to [[Ruckersville]] in the summer of 2000.

Chris was shown playing the Pokémon card game at a Books-A-Million in [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|the PokéNews]] clip from October 1999.

In the May 2010 video [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|I Pimp My Ride]], as well as a number of other videos from 2010, Chris is seen wearing a shirt that reads "Pokémon League Books-A-Million Trainer", suggesting that at one point Chris did have some sort of staffing role in the store's organized Pokémon games. More important, it shows that Chris has hung on to this cheap memento of the experience for more than a decade, despite the fact that it is now far too small to wear and highlights his [[obesity]] to a disturbing degree.

===Toys "R" Us===
{{quote|*ATTENTION!* I wish to Officially State that I Am Sad that Toys R Us will be closing. But if we all can help it, WE ALL can Show The People Of TRU LOVE and Appreciation Enough to KEEP TOYS R US OPEN FOREVER! MESSAGE THE TRU PEOPLE DIRECTLY as you see fit. #KeepToysRUsOpen|Chris, 23 March 2018<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/977212606472687617</ref>}}

Chris says he volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the [[Charlottesville]] '''Toys "R" Us''' between June [[2000]] and June [[2002]],<ref name="Resume" /> after his move back to Ruckersville. Again, we don't really know if he actually had duties, or if he was just joining in with the children.

According to first-hand reports of his games at Toys "R" Us, Chris attempted to use the fake cards he made in battles. Some of these cards are extremely unfair and overpowered. Chris was reportedly kicked out of the store for insisting that he be allowed to use them, even though they would be outright unfair to whoever played against him.{{cite}} The look upon a child's face as Chris lays down a [[Virgin with rage]] card would have been priceless.

In [[September 2016]], he was photographed here by someone who gave the following account:<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20160914015658/https://www.reddit.com/r/CringeAnarchy/comments/52d0l7/day_12_chris_and_encyclop%C3%A6dia_dramatica/d7jur8d/</ref>

{{quotebox|Holy shit, I work in a Toys R Us in Charlottesville, VA, and Chris-chan came in yesterday. Bought 2 tins of pokemon cards and promptly left, but not before I saw MLP Figurines sticking out of his purse. Neon green tank top, short shorts, and bright blue hair. I just started working there, but according to my boss, Chris-Chan comes in about twice a month.

He comes in every 2 weeks or so to buy pokemon cards and videogames, presumably because he was banned from all the gamestops in the city. Not gonna upload it to the wiki because it may cost me my job or a [[26 December 2014|pepper spray to the face]], but someone else feel free to. }}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc Toys r us 9-2016 1.jpg
File:Cwc Toys r us 9-2016 2.jpg
File:Cwc Toys r us 9-2016 3.jpg
File:Cwc Toys r us 9-2016 4.jpg
</gallery></center>

<center>Fan Art<gallery>
File:Chris foot - credit to dannyfrickenp.png
File:Chris ToysRUs - credit to 4-Cent Barbage.jpg
File:Tim Burton's Chris-chan - credit to 4-Cent Barbage.jpg
</gallery></center>

In [[March 2018]], after Toys R Us announced they had filed for bankruptcy and would shut down their stores, Chris tweeted about his sadness (see Chris's quote at the top). He encouraged people to go out and buy items from stores (even if, as it's a children's store, they didn't need it) in hopes of the management changing their minds and keeping all of it stores open forever, [[Chris and reality|neglecting]] to realize bankruptcy is usually non-reversible (unless in certain circumstances, such as the company being bought out, or only closing a few stores, cutting back, decreasing size, etc) and many stores were already in liquidation sales.

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|Chris, holding it out like he's supposed to at [[The GAMe PLACe]].]]

Chris claims to have volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Charlottesville '''GAMe PLACe'''.<ref name="Resume" /> He started to go there in June [[2002]], and regularly visited until he was permanently banned by [[Michael Snyder]] in August [[2008]]. [[Lucas]] has stated that he actually sometimes did work there as a Gym Leader, although this was only very occasionally, when there were no better people around to do the job. To his very slight credit though, unlike his alleged behavior at Toys "R" Us, [[Mimms]] said Chris did resist himself from using his custom ''Pokemon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards during actual games.

Chris was given a two-week ban from the store on 4 April 2008, when he went into the store's back room to grab a box of items for the ''Pokemon'' card game without permission (though Mike was admittedly looking for any reason to ban him, as his poor behavior was scaring customers away). Eventually, this ban was upgraded to a permanent one that August, when he got into a loud fit of rage with a [[black]] kid he was playing a game with.

===The End Games===
{{main|The End Games}}

Chris's hangout from 2015 to 2018. Chris said that he brought his [[Chris and Reality|friends Magi Chan and Discord]] along for events there. Chris was banned from the store after arguments with a game judge and the store manager over whether Sonichu's likeness should be included on the Pokémon league sign.

===Battlegrounds===
A game store in [[wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian]], Virginia, a suburb of [[Richmond]]. On 2 [[May 2023]], [[Reddit]] user Euclid_Class_Object uploaded a picture to r/ChrisChanSonichu of Chris playing a card game at the store, presumably taken that same day. Euclid_Class_Object sourced the photo from a member of the "Zodiac Duelist" Yu-Gi-Oh Facebook group.

On 5 May, Battlegrounds set their Facebook store page to private, most likely due to [[ween]] activity.

===Modern Table Top Gaming===
A game store in [[wikipedia:Chester, Virginia|Chester]], Virginia, a census-designated in eastern Chesterfield County around 18 miles south of Richmond. On 30 May 2023, Reddit user Literally-poop spotted Chris playing Magic: The Gathering at Modern Table Top Gaming and posted a photo of him to r/ChrisChanSonichu the same day.

===Dragon Fire Games===
A game store in {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, an independent city in the Commonwealth of Virginia with 4 surrounding counties (including Bedford County), about 70 miles south west of [[Charlottesville]] and over 110 miles west of Richmond. On 20 July, 2023, 4chan user spotted Chris playing Magic: The Gathering at Dragon Fire Games and uploaded a photo of Chris from behind.

== Custom cards ==
[[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|thumb|It may look cool, but it's useless against [[Snorlax]]]]

{{main|The Wall of Originals}}
In addition to making custom trading cards (most notably ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' trading cards), Chris has produced tons of custom cards for most of the TCGs he as played. He proudly displays the Pokémon cards in [[The Wall of Originals]] (well, he'll likely proudly display them to anyone whom he manages to trap in the room, anyway), and put many (but not all) of the custom cards in the [[DVD]] slideshow. Chris also made ''Eye of Judgment'' cards, as famously shown in his [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]] video. More recently, Chris took to making ''Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder'' cards. many of the cards include Sonichu characters such as [[Jerkops]], [[Magi-Chan]] and others, despite the game being about My Little Pony and having absolutely nothing to do with Sonichu.

It is worthy of note that most (if not all) of Chris' custom Yu-Gi-Oh! cards are incredibly overpowered or amazingly weak and would never be accepted in a duel. This shows that Chris either knows too little about games he spent many hours playing or has an [[Chris and his Ego|Ego]] bloated enough to think that cards based off himself and his life should be ahead in power over "lesser" cards.

In the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], Mimms said that while Chris still kept his custom cards with the rest of his card collection and showed them off to other players at the GAMe PLACe, he had given up on trying to use them in competitive games.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[The Binding of Isaac]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Video games]]

{{Sonichu Games}}

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]

April 2026

2026-04-01T16:39:54Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Ongoing}}

'''April''' is the fourth month of [[2026]].

==Notable events==
*None yet.

==Activity==
===Chats===
*None yet.

===Posts===
*None yet.

===Sightings===
*None yet.

===Videos===
*None yet.

{{References}}
{{timeline}}

March 2026

2026-04-01T16:39:07Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:21 March 2026 Reddit post2.jpg|thumb|Chris in March]]

'''March''' was the third month of [[2026]].

==Notable events==
* '''6 March''' - Chris publishes [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 1]].
* '''13 March''' - Chris makes a playlist for his ''Reading Chaos Crystal Control'' series and related videos, accidentally leaking the videos for Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus Parts 2 through 5. All of them unlisted and originally uploaded on 18 [[February 2026]].
* '''18 March''' - Chris uploads [[C-Log 03182026]].
* '''19 March'''
**''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' announces a new game which is to introduce new official characters [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[CPU Red Heart]], superseding Chris's [[OC]]s of those characters. In response, Chris complains of his CPU Blue Heart lore being left out of the game.<ref>[[March 2026 social media posts#New Neptunia Unlimited game]]</ref>
**Chris resumes doing more [[Cameo]] videos.
* '''20 March''' - Chris publishes [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 2, Crystal - 1]], after twice editing it to attempt to delete material before its official release.
* '''21 March'''
**Chris begins spamming demands to a Twitter account promoting ''Hyperdimension Neptunia'' to change the game's CPU Blue Heart's name.<ref>[[March 2026 social media posts#Demanding Blue Heart name change]]</ref>
**Chris twice attempts to post on [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]] complaining of comments people had been making about him. His posts are removed by AutoModerator and his account [[ban]]ned for evasive post tactics.<ref>[[Reddit#Yo (21 March 2026)]]</ref>
* '''22 March''' - Hearing that the [[carpetbagger]] [[Geno Samuel]] is making DVDs of him, Chris demands a 25% cut.<ref>[[Official CWCki Server chats#Chris wants money from Geno]]</ref>
* '''24 March''' - Chris complains about the real CPU Blue Heart in a [[20-25 March 2026 Cameo videos#Chris Complains About The Real Blue Heart|Cameo video]].
* '''27 March''' - Chris publishes [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 3, Crystal - 2]].
* '''28 March''' - Chris livestreams [[Mewgenics Let's Play 1 with Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime]].
* '''29 March''' - Chris publishes [[CLog - 03222026 - Announcement from Scarlet LaRose]].

==Activity==
===Chats===
*[[Geno Samuel DMs]]

===Posts===
*[[March 2026 social media posts]]
*[[Reddit]]

===Sightings===
*None yet.

===Videos===
*[[Reading Chaos Crystal Control#Act Plus|Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 1 to Part 5]]
*[[C-Log 03182026]]
*[[19 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[20-25 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
**[[Love Is Love (Not You've Been Pwned)]]
*Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 2, Crystal - 1 (second version; unlisted)
*Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 2, Crystal - 1 (third version; published)
*[[26 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[27 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[28 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[Mewgenics Let's Play 1 with Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime]]
*[[CLog - 03222026 - Announcement from Scarlet LaRose]]
*[[29 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[30 March 2026 Cameo videos]]
*[[31 March 2026 Cameo videos]]

{{References}}
{{timeline}}

CLog - 03222026 - Announcement from Scarlet LaRose

2026-04-01T16:38:51Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''CLog - 03222026 - Announcement from Scarlet LaRose''' is a video uploaded to Chris's [[YouTube]] channel on 29 [[March 2026]]. In it, he complains about the latest ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' game including a [[CPU Blue Heart]] character different than his, and then pretends to be possessed by his character to have her "voice" her thoughts on the situation.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CLog - 03222026 - Announcement from Scarlet LaRose
| video = {{#ev:youtube|OusC-ZZfCxk}}
| stardate = 29 [[March 2026]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Reality|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = [[HarmonyCon|HarmonyCon hoodie]]
| previous = [[28 March 2026 Cameo videos#Brennen Rippie's Birthday and Dimensional Merge Explained|Brennen Rippie's Birthday and Dimensional Merge Explained]]
| next = [[29 March 2026 Cameo videos#Kyle's Birthday|Kyle's Birthday]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|This is a very important announcement from Scarlet LaRose, the original CPU Goddess Blue Heart of the Commodore Computers and Consoles, herself, in regards to the (new) PlayStation CPU Goddess who has no right to bear the Blue Heart name, whatsoever. This message goes directly out to IdeaFactory, Compile Heart, and all involved with the Hyperdimension Neptunia Unlimited game. Change that one Goddess' name to Gray Heart or Black V2 Heart, Now, applying to ALL forms of the game and related media, including Manga.}}

{{references}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[28 March 2026 Cameo videos]]|nextlink=[[29 March 2026 Cameo videos]]}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2026]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWC Update 29 July 2009

2026-03-29T18:28:09Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

In "'''CWC Update 29 July 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 07292009'''" for the original video and its extended cut, "'''CWC Update 07292009-2'''" for the Spanish companion video), [[Chris]] explains that he is a [[troll]] trolling trolls. Note that he somehow grew his full goatee back instantly.

He would later replace the video with an extended version, which adds a close-up of his driver's license and Chris asking his viewers to read about the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] on [[CWCipedia]], which he claims to be the new, official [[Sonichu]] website. Also of note is the addendum, in which Chris horribly mangles the language of Cervantes and infuriates many a speaker of the world's second language with most native speakers.

Chris posted [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks an article] on the CWCipedia that contains his TRUE and HONEST transcription and translation of his rant. To everyone's utter surprise, he fails at both.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009
| ytid = UPr2_umandU
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling|CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}}

{{quote|So, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls ONLY.}}

=== Transcript ===

Alright... [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with right off the bat. Dispelling rumors and making a few points. There are NO official [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying right now, it's fake, especially from the damn black—brown... brown striped [[CChanSonichuCWC|impostor]] posing as me. Ignore all [[YouTube]] videos portraying me in a wrong sense, especially if it is not on my TRUE YouTube account, this one: I-B-A Chandler! Portra—playing also playing off of my father's license plate... a little bit. I B Mr. C! Follow Mr. C's, I'm an important C. (?) Mr. Chandler. [[IBAChandler]].

And yes, it is true, [[Rollin' and Trollin'|I have called myself a troll]], because I am trolling my trolls back! So, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls ONLY. I am not a troll to any of the TRUE, [[HONEST]] people out there. I just—because of the Internet, and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you're not a troll, and you know you're not, it does not apply to you. Otherwise, you know you're a troll. I'M TROLLIN' YOU BACK!

And... it's okay to be... [[autism|stupid]] sometimes. Stupid... [[It's UGH!|damn, dirty song!]] While it is NOT okay to be [[homos]]exual, I will let—I will personally not judge any individual of that... one trait. I am willing to be friends with homosexuals. And let me make it clear: I will NOT TOLERATE ANY FURTHER DAMN, DIRTY STUPID QUESTIONS QUESTIONING MY DANG ORIENTATION! I, CHRISTOPHER "CHRISTIAN" WESTON CHANDLER, AM STRAIGHT! Have good faith... in me. And... to all my loyal, true [[trolls|viewers, fans everybody]]: you will be rewarded.

I leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Extended version==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Extended)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WzbvaFKDlEU}}
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling|CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Alright. Captain's Log, Stardate: July 29th, 2009.

Let's get this over with, right off the bat. Dispelling... rumors. And making a few points. [''looks at a piece of paper, apparently with his notes''] There are no... official... Sonichu or Rosechu merchandise yet. Whatever you're buying, right now, it's FAKE, especially from the damn black—brown—brown-STRIPED impostor posing as me. [''looks back at paper''] And I can best prove who I am. [''moves away from camera, but comes closer to it and shoves his face in the camera''] CLOSE UP. ZOOMING in on ME. [''shoves driver's license into the camera, mumbles''] With... my driver's license... with the customer number censored. [''flips the license around''] Can you copy FRONT and BACK? FRONT and BACK? [''turns it to its side''] THICKNESS? [''flips to the back''] Front... [''flips back to the front''] Front reflective Virginia... Can you see it? [''pulls license away and shoves his face back in''] I think... [''dramatic glasses removal''] ...not.

I think not. [''flashes license again'']

[''steps back into proper frame, reads off of paper'']

Ignore all YouTube videos portraying me in a wrong sense. Especially if it's not on my true YouTube account, this one, '''''IBA'''Chandler''. Portray—playing—also playing off my father's license plate. Little bit. I be Mr C. A lot of Mr. C's... I'm an important C.: Mr. Chandler. I be a Chandler.

[''looks back at paper'']

And yes, it is true: I have called myself a troll because I'm trolling my trolls back, so, in a sense, I am a troll to those trolls only. I am NOT a troll to any of the TRUE, HONEST people out there. [''replaces glasses''] I just—because of the internet and whatnot, it's hard to tell the difference. So, if you are not a troll, and you know you're not, this does not apply to you. Otherwise, if you know you're a troll... [''shrugs, then points dramatically''] I'M TROLLING YOU BACK! [''points and goes to say something, but doesn't'']

AND... it'sokaytobestupids. [''he says this fast and softly, then mumbles''] ...That damn, dirty song. [''looks at paper, ponders.''] While it's NOT okay to be homosexual, I will not j—I will not personally judge any individual [''removes glasses again, and starts reading off the paper''] ...that one trait. I am willing to be friends with the homosexuals. And let me make it clear: [''drops glasses, lifts finger''] I will not tolerate '''any more damn, dirty, stupid question my dang orientation'''! I, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler, am STUH-RAIGHT! Have good faith in me.

And to all my True, Loyal viewers, fans, everybody. You will be rewarded. Look up the history of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens for one, a full, extended story from. My. Head. And my hands, typed. On the new, the official, as of 2009, the new s—the official s—CWC's Sonichu and Rosechu Site.

I will leave that with you. Peace, and have a good day.

==Addendum==

In this video, Chris horribly mangles the Spanish language. There are a total of 18 jump cuts in this 193-second video, suggesting that rather than speaking Spanish as a second language, he simply wrote a script based on his limited knowledge and consulted it after every sentence, hoping no one would notice.

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 29 July 2009 (Addendum)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Mm4CNpP5jeE}}
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling|CWC More than a Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

====Original====

''Captain's Log, Stardate: May [''sic''] 29th, 2009''

¡AY! Impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut''] Yo tenía dos años de español en mi escuella secundaria, Manchester High. Con mi señora bonita. [''cut'']

Y yo recibe durante los clases [''cut''] el apodo que yo use para mi Internet, RICARDO, mi nombre fue Ricardo en las clases de español. [''cut''] Recuerde el es- el Pokésite de R.W.C [''the W is pronounced ''doble ve'' like in Spain''] con ''CWC Pokésite 2'', ''CWC's Bionicle site'', ''CWC's Hot Wheels site'', ''the original CWC Sonichu site''. [''cut'']

Yo voy a hácer una apuesta. Que tu, el impostor, no graduaste desde [''high pitch''] TU escuela secundaria. ¡En serio! [''cut''] Yo, el verdad, Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, [''cut''] no solamente me gradue de Manchester High con mi TITÚLO [shows degree, then puts it down]. Mi titúlio de ''basketball'' en mi fi- en mi año de ''freshman'' [''shows his basketball degree, proceeds to put it down'']. ¡Stúpido! TU ERES STUPIDO. [''cut'']

No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de ''[[HONOR ROLL]]''. ¡Bueño! [''cut'']

¿Y como fue escribe en los cómicos de Sonichu [''feels his badge''], Rosechu y yo? [''semi-gangster expression''] ¡Yo! [''cut'']

Yo fue a Piedmont Virginia Community College para mi—[''cut''] Para mi título y certificado para ''COMPUTA EDIT DRAFTING AND DEZAIN''. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] [''cut'']

Que yo diplomade muy bueño y recibe en... ''June, 2006''. [''guess he never learned how to say dates in Spanish''] [''cut'']

¿Donde está tu titúlo de Manchester High? Tu titúlo de Piedmont de t—¿Tu certificado de Piedmont de ''Computer-Ai—drafting & design''?

¿Donde están? [''cut''] Tu no tienes. [''dramatic glasses removal''] Tu no tienes. ¿VERRRRDAD?

Tu no tienes, yo tiene. Yo soy el verdad Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. Entonces, POR FAVOR. Para todo el—todos los veces en el futuro y ahora. [''hand gestures''] [''cut''] ¡Dejar de este juego maldito! Impostor, tonto y estúpido. [''homo pose''] [''cut'']

También. Me presente. Responde en español bueño. [''because your Spanish is excellent, Ricardo''] ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor. [''cut'']

¿Responde en Íngles? No es bueño. No es bueño, tonto impostor en rayas de marrón. [''cut'']

Paz.

====English translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate May [''sic''] 29th, 2009

Aye! The impostor in brown stripes! I have two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.

And during class I received the nickname I use on the Internet "Ricardo". Ricardo, my name in Spanish is Ricardo. Remember the Pokésite of RWC with CWC Pokésite 2 CWC Bionicle site and original Sonichu site.

I'm gonna bet you impostor that you didn't graduate from your high school. Really? I the real Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler not only did I graduate from Manchester High School [''shows his high school diploma''] with my diploma. My basketball diploma from my freshman year [''shows his stupid diploma''] Stupid.... You are stupid!

Not only with them but with my honor roll points, good!

And how was it that I wrote the comedians [''translator's note: He actually says comedians, instead of comics''] of Sonichu Rosechu and me?

I went to PVCC for my title, certificate of CADD [''shows a couple of diplomas, and second one of the them with his stupid Chris-chan drawing holding Megan''] I received a very good diploma in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Where is your certifica...—your certificate from PVCC for CADD? WHERE ARE THEY? You don't have them.... You don't have them, right?

You don't have them; I have them. I am the real Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, please, for eve... for all time in the future and now. Leave this damned game, you stupid dumb impostor.

Also, please respond in good Spanish, if not good? You are not real, you are the impostor, respond in English? NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD, YOU DUMB IMPOSTOR!!!

Peace

====Alternate translation====

Captain's Log, Stardate: May [''sic''] 29th, 2009

Aye! Impostor in stripes of brown! I had two years of Spanish in my secondary school, Manchester High, with my pretty lady.
And I received during my classes [''jump/pause''] the nickname that I used for my Internet: Ricardo. My name was Ricardo in the Spanish classes.

Remember the sp- the Pokésite de R.W.C with CWC Pokésite 2, CWC Bionicle site, the Original CWC Sonichu site.

I am going to make a bet: that you, the impostor didn't graduated from your High School. Really? I the truth, Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler. Didn't just graduated from Manchester High with my DEGREE. [''shows degree, then lowers it''] my degree of Basketball in my freshman year [''same previous motion'']. Stupid, you are stupid!

Not only it takes years but with my points of Honor Roll. Good! [''cut''] And how it was who wrote in the comedians of Sonichu, Rosechu and me, me! I went to Piedmont Virginia Community College for my title and certificate for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. [''shows both certificates, and the second one seems to have some Chris-chan Sonichu & Megan art''] That I diplomated very good and received in June 2006.

Where is your title from Manchester High? Your title from Piedmont, your certificate from Piedmont of Computer-Aided Drafting and Design.

Where is it? You don't have them. [''dramatic glasses removal''] You don't have them, RIGHT?

You don't have them, I has. I am the true Christopher Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler. So, PLEASE, for all future and now actions. Stop this damned game! You stupid and dumb impostor.

Also, Make present. Respond in good Spanish. If not, what good? You are not the real one. You are the impostor.

Respond in English? Not good. Not good, dumb impostor stripes of brown.

Peace.

==== A Spanish correction (AKA what Chris would've said if he could speak in Spanish at all) ====

Bitácora del Capitán, Fecha Estelar: 29 de Mayo, 2009

¡Ay, impostor de rayas cafés! Yo llevé dos años de Español en mi preparatoria,
Manchester High, con mi querida maestra. Durante estas clases, recibí el apodo que
uso en internet, RICARDO. Este fue mi nombre en las clases de Español. Recuerden
el ''Pokésite'' de R.W.C, el segundo ''Pokésite'' de CWC, el sitio de bionic de CWC y el
sitio original de Sonichu.

Voy a hacer una apuesta. Apuesto a que tú, impostor, no te graduaste de tu preparatoria. ¡En serio! Yo el verdadero, Christopher "Christian" "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, no solamente me gradué de Manchester High con mi TÍTULO, sino también con mi título de Basquetbol en mi primer año. ¡Estúpido! ERES UN ESTÚPIDO.

Y no solamente me gradué con éstos [''diplomas''], sino también con mis puntos en el Cuadro de Honor. ¿Cómo ves?

¿Y quien fue el que escribió los cómics de Sonichu, Rosechu, y yo? ¡YO!

YO fui a la Universidad Comunitaria de Piedmont Virginia para obtener mi título y certificado en Diseño Asistido por Computadora.

Me gradué perfectamente, y me recibí en Junio del 2006.

¿Donde está tu titulo de Manchester High? ¿Tu título de Piedmont de t—
¿Tu certificado de Piedmont en Diseño Asistido por Computadora?

¿Donde están? No los tienes, Tú no los tienes, ¿VERDAD?

Tú no los tienes, pero yo sí. Yo soy el verdadero Christopher Christian "Ricardo"
Weston Chandler. Entonces, por favor, para siempre, ahora y en el futuro,
¡deja este maldito juego! Impostor tonto y estúpido.

Además, me presenté. Ahora tú responde en español correcto. ¿No puedes? Entonces no eres el
verdadero. Tú eres el impostor.

¿Respondes en inglés? Eso no es bueno, no está bien, tonto impostor de rayas marrones.

Paz.

==Liquid's response==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Liquid's Response
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0t3MBa-3Ovw}}
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]
| next = [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''¡Hola! Este es el verdadero Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor en el pequeño chaleco, yo no solo comprender su ultimo video, pero tiene excelente dominio de la idioma de Cervantes. Puedo establecer mi identidad hablan muchos idiomas. Je parle aussi Français comme je l'ai pris [sic] deux ans de français dans mes années lycées à Manchester. Avec ma jolie professeure de français. J'ai obtenu ma [sic] diplôme avec mention. J'ai même un certificat à partir du moment où j'ai été l'assistant-responsable de l'équipe. of PVCC. Auch hab ich zu lernen(?) von Deutschen und bin in der Lage, zu sprechen fließend Deutsch. Nicht zu erwarten, aber il- ich sind(?) ein Zertifikat in CADD.'' Hmm.


うそなんじゃフォトはせっかく工夫は済めば. まぁ、そうには正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが、彼の問題は全てこれらの言語で応答する必要がありますぅ！(''Usonanja foto wa sekkaku kufuu wa sumeba.'' (?) ''Ma, souni wa tadashii Chris naraba to yomeru kare daga. Kano mondai wa subete korera no gengo de outou suru hitsuyou ga arimasu~!'') Hmm. Um, hmm...

I wish to go over a number of things, but uhh... first I'd like to tell you [''dramatic glasses removal, and replaces glasses'']: I love my sweet Kacey! My sweetheart Kacey and I are going to be together forever! And I love her with my heart! And we met because of... Sonichu! She will be my caring girl and I will never leave her. We have already gone out on our FIRST DATE. FIRST DATE! Hmm...

Now, uh, on to more important things. I wish to, uh, as a high-functioning autistic male, uh, to explain autism, briefly to y'all- [''jump cut'']

Now a, uh, public service announcement, if you will. [[Autism]] is a mental block where uh, it's hard to do things and even the slightest of things that you don't want to do will uh, give you [[stress]]. When you are uh, stressed as an autistic, it's just easy to fall asleep. And Asperger's Sydrome is- does something to this very similar to autism. People with [[Asperger's]] take things very literally, which sometimes is another mental block to understanding others, or the ladies. Hmm. Both the Asperger's and autism are start from a ear- start from an early age, in which you are diagnosed and given documents proving it. My name is Christian Weston Chandler, and I swear on my Asperg- I mean my autism, that uh, that these things must be, uh... remembered.

Oh uh, and another thing, uh: I have made my rectum with [[Clyde]]- I mean I have- I have rectified things with Clyde. He has uh, apologized for uh, taking money from [[Barbara|my mother]]'s retirements accounts, and I have apologi- and has apologized for torturing me in the past. I thank you, Clyde, and uh, this could- this could be the start of a uh, beautiful friendship. I d- I do not- I do not have to worry about him uh, you know, trolling me anymore...

And finally, uh, ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles''. Hmmm. The game is, uh, coming along so well that I have been able to print out the images that the uh, that the designer has sent me.

[''shuffles through a bunch of papers showing the design process and character concepts. Notable standouts are the [[BILLY MAYS]] Library, Liquid himself, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].'']

Hmm... yeah, so uh... You know, I'm doin' pretty well right now, uh... I was able to buy my uh, my father [[Robert Chandler]] a uh, a new axe for his uh, [[Bob Walks In|woodworking hobby]]. And uh, I have- I have bought my- I have bought my uh, a uh, Pokémon Flutes for my uh, for my mo- mother [[Snorlax|Barbara Chandler]] for her- for her music. And I have bought myself just- just a- a whole bunch of rare [[Transformers]] toys and animation programs off o- off of [[eBay]].

[''Voice that sounds like Homer Simpson'']"Autobots, defeat those Decepticlones!"

Peace. Oh, hmm, and another thing uh... The- the uh, Dark Horse Publishers has uh, offered me a, to create my own uh, template for a uh, official ''Sonichu magazine''. So hmm, why'n'ch- why'n'cha take a look here... [''Shows the cover of his magazine''] It's the uh, Rapid Fast ''[[News Dash]]''.

Hmmm. I love ya Kacey!

====Translation====

Hello! This is the real Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor in the small vest, I do not only to understand your last video, but it has excellent command over the Spanish language. I can establish my identity they speak many languages. I also speak French as I took (it) two years of french during my high school years at Manchester. With my pretty French professor. I obtained my diploma with mention. I even have a certificate to commemorate when I was the manager of the (varsity) team. [Can't make this out, but it sounds like "I also have to learn from Germans"] and I am capable to speak fluent German. Not to be expected, but [can't make it out, sounds like "I are a certificate"] in CADD. Hmm. It's a lie, the photo, though effort has been made. Well, if he is the real Chris, then he should be able to read this, but he has to answer every question in these languages!

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]|nextlink=[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category:Videos published to IBAChandler]]

Hair

2026-03-26T01:07:55Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Is chris's hair getting better.png|thumb|250px|Comparison of Chris's hair. Left: November 2015<ref>[[Thank You from Christine Chandler‎]]</ref> (age 33). Right: November 2016<ref>[[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously]]</ref> (age 34).]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his [[Chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]].

==Condition==
[[File:ADlEp.jpg|Chris's hair in all its glory, pre-[[Tomgirl]].|thumb]]

Chris's hair has never looked good. For most of his adult life, [[Barb]] served as his barber. The result was a predictably amateurish, uneven cut which served as the perfect accompaniment to his [[The Classic|clown shirt]] and [[Chris and socializing|social awkwardness]]. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, hasn't helped. His hair entered something of a plateau for many years, as even when he does take a shower, his hair's appearance virtually remains the same, as evidenced by his [[HairDifference|2010 video demonstration]].

Switching shampoos hasn't helped, either. In his early 20s, Chris used Selsun Blue for dandruff issues, then switched to Head & Shoulders. To assist with his [[Love Quest]], he shifted to "[[AXE]] brand Freeze Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner." When he became a tomgirl, he changed it again to Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner. He has also used Aussie Sprunch hairspray because "it keeps my hair poofy, and smells of candy." If his photographic record is anything to go by, nothing seems to have worked; firsthand observer [[Catherine]] thought it "looked like straw."

Chris, however, believes that his hair looks just fine, and has always been defensive about his hygienic habits. He also had no problem with his mother's styling. During [[Kacey Call 1|his first phone call with]] [[Kacey]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid Chris]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh...I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

===Transgender hair===
[[File:Cwc neptune.png|thumb|In 2016, Chris told [[Arthur Spatchcock]] that he thought his hair resembled [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Neptune]]'s. You be the judge.]]

Chris kept his hair short and didn't alter it significantly for many years, but when he began exploring a [[transgender]] identity, Chris grew his hair out and started bleaching it. Chris's natural hair color is a chestnut brown, although [[Christian Weston Chandler#Early life|early photos]] from his childhood show that it was paler at one point. He seems to be dyeing his hair himself, based on the unprofessional results. The highly visible brown roots seen in pictures suggest that he did not enlist the aid of a professional stylist. Chris's hair is also evidently curly when it's long; he may have done it himself with a curling iron, but Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen. An [[October 2012]] [[Facebook]] profile picture revealed that Chris had grown his hair to his shoulders, and for the next couple of years it remained at approximately this length.

[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris with shoulder length hair.]]

Chris has become resolutely opposed to cutting his hair, seeing it as essential to his transgender identity. In [[May 2011]], Barb forced Chris to let her cut his hair. This resulted in Chris calling Barb a "bitch". He wore a wig for a while after this incident. He also saved a clump of hair clippings and wore it around his neck in hopes that it would grow back faster. <ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_26]]</ref>

{{quote| This was supposed to be the Year of Me; I was making Best Social Progress with the {{w|Mary Tyler Moore}} hairstyle, with Better Self-Confidence; Gone in a snip snip snip of my mother's claws. I also have retrieved the hair clippings shortly after the tragedy, gathered them in a clump, wrapped the clump in a plastic wrap, put it in a plush, satin-like baggie, attached a necklace to it, and [[Chris and religion|I am wearing my clippings as a Charm to prayfully promote quicker hair growth and recovery.]]|Chris, thinking that a 1970s woman's hairstyle helps you get [[China|friends]].}}

Chris sometimes likes to accentuate his hair with a headband, in order to cover up his bald spot. Even before becoming a tomgirl, he admired his girly [[anime wings]] to the point of incorporating them into his comic. At the pride festival and [[26 December 2014|GameStop attacks]] of 2014, he wore a pair of striking blue and pink [[My Little Pony]] tassels. Sometimes he wears ponytails.

[[File:OmegaconD.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in 2015, showing horrible [[tomgirl]] hair dye and receding hairline.]]
He dyed his hair blue in 2015, for his [[OmegaCon]] cosplay. Of course, he again failed to bleach the hair beforehand. The result is that his hair gradually turned to a sickly green color.

{{quote|But then also the way my hair turned out, after the semi-permanent hair color, kind of makes me look like Sailor Nep-- Neptune.|Chris<ref>[[Arthur Spatchcock]]</ref>}}

[[Image:May19VaccinePhoto.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris after his second vaccine shot, showing his now-grey hair.]]
As of 2020, the green color began to fade, leaving Chris' hair very grey.<ref>[[:File:Praetor3.jpg]]</ref> Hair turning grey at a relatively young age is a sign of poor health, or getting the short end of the stick when it comes to inherited genetics.<ref>[https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/hair-turn-gray-2017091812226 Harvard Health Publishing]</ref> This can be clearly seen in a photo posted to Twitter in May 2021 of Chris posing with his [[Coronavirus]] vaccination card.

[[Image:Midlothian CCTV.png|thumb|200px|Chris on 1 [[May 2023]], a few months after his release from jail, with brown hair]]
When he was [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|sighted in early May 2023 in Midlothian]] by [[Weening|weens]] after his release from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail|jail]], his hair appeared to have returned to its natural brown colour. By the end of the month, however, he had dyed it again, this time to a brighter teal colour.
[[File:CWC sighting 5-27-23.png|thumb|Dyed teal in [[May 2023]]]]

Starting around [[2026]] or so, Chris's hair has noticeably started turning pure white in certain places, namely parts of his crown and especially near his sideburns.

===Hair loss===
[[File:A little song and dance (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|Pictured in 2015: a prominent bald spot on the top of his head, typically concealed with a headband (which had slipped off in the still image).<ref>[[A little song and dance]]</ref>]]

Chris's encroaching baldness has done little for his already uncomely appearance. Since hitting his late 20s, his hairline has been receding very quickly. When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris asserted that he was not going bald, and he was untroubled. "When it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge", he declared.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in 2010, a bald spot was seen starting to appear on the back of his head. By 2014, at 32, pictures showed that his hairline had receded dramatically in just a couple of years, and his hair was more poorly managed, looking even more thin, wispy and unkempt, if that's possible. While his hair is long, it has simply stopped growing on the front half of his scalp, creating an extremely bizarre effect. His attempts to brush a few locks forward do little to hide his constantly growing forehead. Catherine claimed in 2014 that it was "halfway" back on his scalp. The bald spot can be clearly seen in a photo of Chris with the [[Praetor]] team in October 2020.

It should be noted that if one alters a photograph of Chris to remove his bastardized bangs, his hair looks almost exactly the same as it did before 2013 – slowly thinning and as greasy as ever.

[[File:CWC0916.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris, in 2016, continuing to bald.]]

2016 saw the rapid acceleration of Chris's receding hairline. Cole Smithey seemed to begin shaving his head regularly around his early to mid-thirties so the timing seems about right for Chris's male pattern baldness to follow suit. Chris's ever poor hygiene and increasingly gross neglect of his remaining and now green mop-like locks certainly did not help. Chris's current hair is less that of a transitioning female, and more of a Doc Brown mixed with seaweed.

A popular theory among [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. Realistically, however, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] also showed signs of hair loss too. Ominously, [[Chris and health|inactivity]], [[Chris and nutrition|poor diet]], illness and stress are well-known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness – the earlier it begins in life, the less hair will eventually remain, which does not bode well for Chris's tomgirl dreams.

In recent times, Chris has taken to wearing a cap or pulling his hair forward to cover his receding hairline, and possibly to mimic various anime characters and drawings he's seen of attractive women doing the same thing. It really doesn't do his appearance much good.

==Body and facial hair==
[[File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|Embarrassed Chris with hairy naked legs.]]

Chris has never found body hair attractive, on himself or anyone else. This is probably connected to [[Chris and gender|his hatred]] of [[JERKS|men]] and their bodies, and it began long before he became a tomgirl. In 2008, he confessed that "shorts are okay, but I don't like to show off my hairy legs."<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> A strange [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card shows him dressed in the costume of a female character, but deeply embarrassed, in part because the dress exposes his legs, which he depicts as covered with hair. He also claimed that "facial hair, to most women, is a Turn Off," which is his [[autistic]] way of saying that he thinks beards are ugly. Consequently, early [[nudes]] of Chris showed that he shaved his torso and pubic region.
[[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris with visible stubble on his chest from shaving or waxing.]]

It is telling that part of his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|costume]] meant to throw off the trolls included a goatee. When he needed to reclaim his identity, he pointedly [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved it off]] for the camera within two weeks, without shaving cream or even ''water'' at the very least.

After becoming a tomgirl, he put more effort into removing his body hair, at least initially. He told [[Jackie]]:
{{quote|I have been experimenting with body hair removal systems. I tried waxing; I had diffculty, only a little pain; I could use some help on getting the hang of it. Then I tried the "As Seen on TV" Smooth Away; it worked some, but not so much; got a rash on my leg from the effort. [[Chris and brand loyalty|I would not recommend the product.]] And lastly, which removed the latter, a hair remover shower cream Nair brand "Shower Power Max", to be specific). It worked great, but I either used a bit much or left some on longer; this was last night. I had worse pain on the rashed leg, and new rashy spots on the other, on the right side of my belly near the button, and on BOTH of my [[manboobs|nipples]]. The pain was excruciating; I was lucky to find comfort and fall asleep with a few [[dreams]]. The areas still hurt some, and I will heal, with sexier legs to look forward to. It's a blessing neither of my arms were pained from the experiment. The pain was equivilant to harsh sunburn. I would have been more comfortable with Waxing in comparison. On the classic 1-10 scale; waxing was a 2; the S.P.Max was an 8.5 (going on 9 with the extended searing pain). At least my arms, legs, torso and pubic are [[Spanish|sin]] hair and real smoooth.|Chris to Jackie|}}

He also said he had given himself a "Brazillian." A Brazilian wax consists of the removal of all pubic hair, something Chris has clearly desired for a long time.

Despite Chris's efforts, photos throughout 2013, 2014 and 2015 consistently showed that, on his face at least, whatever depilatory measures he was taking were an utter failure, as his facial stubble - his "5:00," as he calls it, is always apparent. As with every aspect of his life, his laziness thwarts his dream of looking like [[Britney Spears]].

Chris did, however, have a beard during part of his [[Jail Saga|jail sentence for incest]], after an implied suicide threat led to his privilege of using razors being restricted.<ref>[[Goddess Log#Misc.]]</ref>

In [[February 2026]], Chris began undergoing electrolysis to permanently remove his facial hair.<ref>[[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Epilogue]]</ref><ref>[[20 March 2026 Cameo videos#Chris Talks About Electrolysis]]</ref>

==Hair mail==
Chris told Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], that his mother had recently cut his hair and he had saved locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls could have them as a souvenir, he even went to the trouble of wrapping each individual lock in plastic along with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself. Chris's [[Trolls|faithful fangirls]] couldn't refuse the offer.

Due to the Mexican postal service, it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock - or perhaps it wasn't. Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 were ever sent. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English on one side and in Chris's version of Spanish on the other. Each side had a [[Sonichu]] drawing, but the [[Spanish]] side had [[Chris and race|Sonichu in a sombrero]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery of hair==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."
Image:FutureCWC.jpg|What Chris would look like by now if he wasn't a [[tomgirl]].
File:Flirt1.jpeg|In 2014. With his makeup, [[Chris and fashion|second-hand stripy shirt]] and poorly managed hair, Chris ends up looking more like a [[Obesity|fat]] clown than a woman.
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|Pigtails
File:CWC Discord selfie for VoidZine server.jpg|{{w|Conan the Barbarian (1982 film)|"Chris-Chan, what is best in life?"}} "To [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] your enemies, see them vaporized in the [[Dimensional Merge]] before you, and to hear the lamentations of their [[sweetheart]]s."
File:Praetor3.jpg|In 2020. Note the graying and the bald spot.
2021 Chris Chan mugshot 2.jpg|In 2021, luscious flowing hair
Walmart 3 Jul 2023 sighting2 (cropped).jpg|In 2023, after coming out of [[jail]]: dyed blue with a ragged ponytail
File:Cwclight - G3 My Little Pony - 2014 Housefire1 - IMG 5407.jpeg|One inspired the other.
Custom Neco Arc medallion.jpeg|In 2025, raggy and curly
File:21 March 2026 Reddit post2.jpg|Chris's hair in March 2026.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Health}}
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Anna McLerran

2026-03-23T07:21:06Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Autistic}}
{{Unreliable|type = misinfo}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Anna Elizabeth McLerran
| image = Annapeace.jpg
| title = Anna McLerran
| day = 30
| month = 07
| year = 1985
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| gender = Female
| religion = Mormon
| occupation = Pac Sun employee (former)
| saga = {{saga|ed|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}, {{saga|catherine|cn}}, {{saga|ideaguy|cn}}, {{saga|guarddog|cn}}
}}

'''Anna Elizabeth McLerran''' is a [[gal pal]] and [[white knight]] who met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. Chris was brought to her attention when, during the [[Love Quest]] era, he started advertising himself in front of the store. This inspired her short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]], published early in [[2005]] on her blog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20190913011805/http://dangerless.blogspot.com:80/2005/02/story-7.html http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html(archive)]</ref>

Soon after publishing the story she befriended Chris. Chris made romantic advances towards her until she told him she was a [[Chris and religion|Mormon]] and a [[Homos|lesbian]], even before coming out to family, in order to rebuff his advances.<ref>Via [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran Formspring]:"...it was the only way to get him to stop thinking of me as a 'candidate'..."</ref><ref><s>[http://thundercamp.tumblr.com/post/2784133782/tell-your-parents-something-youve-been-witholding Anna's Tumblr page]</s>Tumblr 404, not on Internet Archive</ref> Chris refers to her as proof that he can be friends with [[homos|homosexuals]].<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

In summer 2005, Chris helped to throw Anna a surprise party for her 20th birthday along with her other friends. Soon after this Anna moved to [[wikipedia:Salt Lake City|Salt Lake City, Utah]] with her family.<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts#CWC Note 9]]</ref><ref>[[MySpace#I like the African Americans as equals.]]</ref> Since then her relationship with Chris has been mostly long-distance, although a picture of her with [[Barbara]] from [[August 2016]] shows that she has visited the Chandlers on at least one occasion since then.<ref>https://archive.ph/W5hpt</ref> Apparently Chris did not learn that Anna was a lesbian until after her move, indicating that he still saw her as a potential girlfriend even when she was living across the country from him.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Anna McLerran]]</ref>

According to Anna, she has a form of [[autism]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100415023658/http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran</ref> In a letter dated 22 October 2021, Chris also claimed she is autistic.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021]]</ref>

==Protection of Chris==
After Christian discovered The Crazy Pacer story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article:

{{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note from Anniebannany<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20081020022909/http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}}

This passage was so masturbatory that ED users assumed Chris himself wrote it, and it was credited accordingly. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100112193854/http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref> It is unknown why she had actually befriended him, but according to her, her intentions were pure.<ref><s>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/40869014897045504</s>Error.Tweet not found</ref>

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref><s>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</s>dead link</ref>}}

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], socialite {{w|Nicole Richie}} tweeted an infamous [[:File:Cwcbraorig.JPG|leaked picture of Christian in his mother's underwear]] to troll {{w|Good Charlotte}} guitarist {{w|Benji Madden}}. Anna replied asking that the picture be taken down, "nooo!! that's my friend christian!! you should take this down...he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(".<ref name="twitpic">https://web.archive.org/web/20091208023410/http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> Anna went on to criticize the CWCki and other sources about Chris, claiming that "there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. [[Death threats|super nice]]."{{cite}} This is all very amusing when you consider her initial reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref><s>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</s>Dead Link</ref>

===Chris dons the armor===

On 5 [[May 2012]] Chris and Anna reversed roles when he posted a [[Facebook#Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!|Facebook note]] in which he played the part of the white knight:

{{quote|She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. [...] Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that [[Affair with Mother|she may look like my mom at a younger age]], but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a friend.

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.|Chris}}

Chris has stood up for Anna in the past as well. On 14 [[March 2010]] he wrote a [[CWC Blog#14 March 2010|blog post]] on the [[CWCipedia]] asking the CWCki's webmaster to remove from her website all mentions of Anna's name (and of the names of several other acquaintances of his) in the same way all mentions of [[The Wallflower]]'s real name were removed from the CWCki.

===Anti-troll plea to Catie===
Anna attempted to stop the troll sweetheart [[Catherine|Catie]] from further influencing Chris. Unfortunately, [[Catherine#The date|Chris had met Catie at that point]] and was completely infatuated - Anna was fighting a losing battle. Her last‐ditch attempt to dislodge Catie was an attempted appeal to Catie's humanity:<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Anna's Message to Catie]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|You really need to leave Christian alone. It's so painfully obvious to anyone on the outside that you have a fake profile specifically designed to troll him. Just about every paragraph holds a clue against you. The fake license was a pathetic effort, but one you knew would work well enough on someone [[Naïve|naive]]. Too bad you used the wrong font, didn't match the background color, made your fake signature longer than the signature box would allow, and forgot to put the second signature over the picture.

I don't care what you're hoping to get out of this--whether you want to troll him to do something funny, or simply get him to trust you to ultimately help him. You are doing far more damage than you think. You're messing with an autistic man who simply won't see the truth because he wants the lie so badly. And that's sick. You're not just messing with him, though--you're messing with his mom, and you're messing with me.

Whatever your opinion of his mom is, it doesn't give you the right to break her heart either. She doesn't deserve to be given false hope that maybe her son HAS found a soul mate and WILL be taken care of after she's gone. Because that's her greatest fear, and you're playing on it like a predator.

So just stop. I know you're probably pretending to be upset with him right now so that you'll get him desperate enough to do whatever you tell him. It's obscene. Let it go, walk away. Delete the fake accounts, and never do anything like this again.}}

===Opposing the Idea Guys===
The [[Idea Guys]] are trolls who allegedly conned Chris out of $6,000 by threatening his imaginary city [[CWCville]] if he didn't give them money, often in the form of gift cards. Anna found out that Chris was buying up gift cards and asked [[The Captain]] if he could help intervene.<ref name=captainessay>[[On The Captain]]</ref> In [[April 2018]], The Captain was able to do so by purchasing the [[Amnyfest Ring]] from Chris, who had sold it to raise funds to pay the Idea Guys, then claiming to Chris that the ring was sending him messages and that the personas used by the Idea Guys should not be trusted, which successfully severed their contact with Chris.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (The Captain)#Amnyfest Ring]]</ref>

Anna had previously vouched for The Captain months prior to the Idea Guys saga, and The Captain believed that buying the ring on its own probably wouldn't have gotten Chris to trust him, but that and Anna's vouching got him there.

A group later dubbed by the CWC community as the [[Guard Dogs]] began to form. Their initial goals were to distract the Idea Guys while the chatlogs between them and Chris could be exported, and to attempt to use the chatlogs to report the Idea Guys to law enforcement. Anna helped, but a dispute occurred over her wanting time to focus on her college finals before trying to report the Idea Guys, and The Captain was unwilling to wait. Anna left the group after [[Null]] was brought onboard, who she didn't trust.<ref name=captainessay></ref>

==Advice to Chris==
===On Chris's threat of violence===
On 12 [[May 2012]], Chris posted on his private [[Facebook]] a threat of violence directed at [[Mimms]] and his girlfriend. Anna warned him:

{{quoteboxgreen|Threats of violence are a really bad thing to have up on your Facebook when you have [[28 October 2011|a trial pending]]...I would remove or edit this status if I were you }}

Chris then backtracked and claimed the post to have been a ruse.<ref>[[May 2012 Facebook posts#Kill His Girlfriend]]</ref>

===On homosexuals===
On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted the following to his [[Facebook]] account, complaining about media coverage of the historic {{w|Hollingsworth v. Perry}} Supreme Court deliberations:

{{quote|Another thing that really Grinds My Gears:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!|Chris on Facebook<ref>[[March 2013 Facebook posts#Gay Marriage]]</ref>}}

Anna criticized Chris's logic:

{{quote|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays|Anna}}

The next day, Chris responded:

{{quote|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?|Chris, [[Honor roll|not making any sense whatsoever]]}}

As seen above, Chris's reply was nothing but an incoherent red herring, completely side-stepping the original question of why it was right for lesbians to marry and not right for gay men to. The real answer, of course, is because, to Chris, gay men are disgusting and [[Homos#Views on lesbianism|lesbians are hot]].

==Other mentions==
On 5 [[August 2018]], Chris and Anna both watched Rekieta Law's video on the [[Idea Guys]]. The video included a recap of a thread written by [[Null]], [[The Chris-Chan Extortionists]], which had included a vulgar tirade against Anna and [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. Anna complained to Chris about her portrayal. In response, Chris tweeted in defense of Anna and Rocky, stating that the accusations against Anna and Rocky were false, that both did not refuse to help report the Idea Guys to law enforcement, and that they had both been unable to do much with the police. Chris also took offense at Null's vulgarity, writing that "to tell them to “F” themselves is Simply Just Wrong." Chris asked for an apology to the two. Throughout his tweets, Chris avoided referencing Null by name, instead referring to him as the post-writer.<ref>[[August 2018 social media posts#Asking Null for an apology]]</ref> In response, both Null and [[The Captain]] pressured Chris into backing down by threatening to pull their support. Chris deleted the portions of the tweets about Anna and Rocky.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (The Captain)#Chris's Defense of Anna]]</ref>

On 28 [[August 2018]], Chris complained to The Captain that he was concerned over Anna, who had not texted him back within 20 days, and Chris even tried contacting Anna's mother about it.<ref>[[Captain DMs#No Reply from Anna]]</ref> According to Chris in a Q&A two years later, Anna was still scared to check in with him "thanks to Null’s dumb and stupid threat against her".<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11#Chris's Closest Friend]]</ref>

In his [[September 2019]] fantasy role-play scenario [[Psychic California Trip]], Chris mentioned Anna. In it, he wrote that he (possessing [[Magi-Chan]]'s body) had run to California from Virginia, and detoured to Utah to see Anna at her home. In the scenario, Chris does not inform Anna in advance of the visit, instead showing up in her living room and using Magi-Chan's powers on her mind to make her see his spiritual form.

She appears in Chris's [[Chaos Crystal Control]] story.

On 1 [[May 2024]], [[Kiwi Farms]] user BeatboxBill made a post claiming to have contacted Anna after the revelation of Chris's [[Affair with Mother|affair with his own mother]]. The user also claimed that Chris attempted to contact her while in jail, but she adamantly cut all ties with him:<ref>https://archive.fo/n7Y1i</ref>
{{quoteboxkiwi|Anna deleted her old account and made a new one after she found out about Chris.

I messaged Anna after Chris was arrested asking her what she thought about the situation and from what I can remember she said something amongst the lines of ''"It made me sick to my stomach! I knew Chris was somewhat of a creep, but I never would have thought he’d be capable of doing something like this…"''

Anna has since then cut all ties with Chris, she’s blocked his number as well as his email.

Chris did wrote Anna a letter from jail, but she did not bother to open it, let alone read it.
She tore the whole thing in half and threw it in the trash so it’s safe to say the two of them will never ever speak again.

I would share screenshots of the conversation we had, but it would be pointless because Anna has since deleted her old account so it doesn’t show her profile picture which makes it look like anybody could have sent those messages.
Also, I forgot my Facebook password to the account we talked on and the email address registered to account has been deactivated so I wouldn’t be able to get the screenshots in general.}}

Despite this, Chris still follows her account on [[Duolingo]], a language learning platform that he joined in [[October 2023]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
Image:0688-ANNABD1.JPG|"[[:Image:0635-CWCNote13.jpg|I picked out and bought the cake for her. It was a nice party.]]"
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party…
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|…with cards…
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|…the close company of friends…
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|…cake…
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|…(too hard to tell)…
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|…aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|One of these people is more awkward than the others.
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|"Modest Manna", a Mormon [[My Little Pony]] based on Anna.
File:Annapeace.jpg|
File:Annahat.jpg|Oh fuck, go back
File:Barb and anna.jpg|Anna with Barb, August 2016. Posted to Anna's Facebook.
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>
{{EDSaga}}
{{CatherineSaga}}
{{GuardDogSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Autistic]]
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Sweethearts-to-be]]
[[Category:Millennial Generation]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Virginia]]

Things Chris has ripped off

2026-03-23T04:20:37Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* A Troll in Central Park */

{{Split Off}}
{{Dated|Expand on [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]].}}
{{Quote|Good artists copy; great artists steal.|{{w|Pablo Picasso}}, demonstrating that even geniuses underestimated the ability of artists like Chris to exist.}}
{{Quote|I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie.|Chris [[Mailbag 4#Admission of plagiarism|blatantly admits to plagiarism]].}}

[[Image:090-CWComicalHug.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL!]]
[[Image:191-sealSchu.jpg|thumb|The TRUE and HONEST Seal of Originality.]]

As every [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]] of [[Chris]] is probably aware of, our hero has quite the imagination. But some argue that due to [[Chris and stress|stress]] and the mental block that is [[Autism]], his powerful and mighty artistic ordeals cannot come to fruition. So he just does what every good TV/book/movie writer does: he goes and '''steals an enormous amount of things''' from other places.

To his credit, plagiarizing isn't easy. After all, how do you grab something that comes from another person's mind, adapt it to your own storyline and make it so that it fits in, without having whatever it is that you stole stand out like an [[Obesity|obese]] [[Honor roll|fool]] with [[The Classic|a red-and-blue-striped shirt]] in the middle of a crowd? Being the genius comic book creator that he is, he feels that he doesn't need to bother with details such as a good plot, readability, or even consistency. Just stick in a few bouts of [[random-access humor]] that he found in some sort of form of media, and you got yourselves a new installment in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

Chris holds a [[Chris and reality|belief]] that all of fiction exists in an alternative "cartoon" universe, ''à la'' ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}'', with [[Asperchu|no exceptions]], so he probably believes that this justifies his plagiaristic tendencies. The world in which ''Sonichu'' takes place is fundamentally built on the creations of others, probably because Chris spends most of his time watching television and that is the way in which he engages with his limited imagination. With all the characters and concepts stolen from other works of fiction crammed into the ''Sonichu'' comics, the mythology of [[CWCville]] is an unwieldy, confusing pastiche of bullshit which frequently fuses together franchises that are unrelated or even contradictory. ''{{w|The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen}}'', this is not.

While some of Chris's creations, including [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself, are individual entities which are technically not stolen (though many of their substantial elements very-much are), he often outright steals established, well-known characters and elements from other works of fiction, and he simply hopes their rightful owners do not notice. He makes no attempt to veil their derivative nature and has shown that he has no preparatory plan for any incident where he's confronted with intellectual property claims. According to Chris, stealing [[copyright]]ed material is fine ([[Asperchu|unless it's his own]]), as long as you indicate that whatever it is you’re doing is a "[[parody]]" of the original material. In accordance to U.S. copyright law, this is technically true, so this probably means that, unless he decides to make money out of his "artwork," he isn't going to have the law knocking on his door, but the question of whether or not ''Sonichu'' qualifies as parody is an [[Parody#Why Sonichu is not a parody|article in its own right]].

Below is a non-exhaustive list of stolen intellectual property:

==Main influences==
===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{Main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

*His pride and glory [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], which, as we all know, is a recolor of Sonic the Hedgehog with [[Pikachu]]'s tail and ears. In his comic book debut he is created when the "[[Perfect Chaos Monster]]" attacks Station Square, which, by the way, is a direct ripoff of the end of ''{{w|Sonic Adventure}}''.
*Sonichu's girlfriend [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] is just [[Amy Rose]] with a Raichu tail.
*Of course, Sonichu’s evil twin brother [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu, Blachu) also comes from the same line of original creativity Chris has got us accustomed to. This dark version of Sonichu is a complete ripoff of {{w|Shadow the Hedgehog}}.
*The "[[Chaotic Combo]]" is a mesh of ''Sonic'' characters recolored with various deformities, and their name is a copy of the {{w|List of Sonic the Hedgehog video game characters#Chaotix|Chaotix}}: including [[Angelica]] being a white hedgehog that has wings, or [[Punchy Sonichu]] being an Oriental version of {{w|Knuckles the Echidna}}.
*Sonic the Hedgehog, Amy Rose and [[Doctor Robotnik]] make an appearance in [[Sonichu_1|Sonichu Issue #1]], with Sonic and Amy juxtaposing themselves with their barely-distinguishable counterparts.
*The [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] is a rip-off of the Master Emerald.
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is another recolor of Sonic.
*[[Metal Sonichu]] is a recolor of Metal Sonic with Pikachu ears and a tail.
*The [[Sonichu Balls]] are essentially just stand-ins for the Chaos Emeralds, and may also be plagiarized in part from ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]''.
*[[Ultra Sonichu]] is a rip-off of Super Sonic.
*The [[Sonees and Roseys]] greatly resemble Chao, but uglier.
*The inspiration for creating evil versions of characters with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|backwards]] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|names]] came from the comic characters Doctor Ovi Kintobor (Ivo Robotnik spelled backwards) the Anti-Robotnik (Archie) and pre-evil Robotnik (Fleetway).<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Ivo_Kintobor</ref>

===Pokémon===
{{Main|Pokémon}}

*Like the previously mentioned Sonichu and Rosechu characters ripping off Sonic the Hedgehog, they also rip off various Pokémon, mostly Pikachu and Raichu, combined with other Pokémon.
*The character [[Jiggliami]] is a humanoid variation of a Jigglypuff.
*The so-called [[Sonichu Balls]] are designed like various Poké Balls, though they also function like other items.
*Sonees are also slightly edited Pichu, with a bit of Chao mixed in.
*Moves. As if ripping off their looks weren't enough, Chris also rips off their attacks such as "Thunderbolt" or "Sky Uppercut".
*Many of the cards on Chris's [[Wall of Originals]] are obviously based on character concepts or illustrations from the Pokémon games. (Christian's Maychu, to use one example, imitates the official illustration of the Pokémon Hitmonlee.)
*[[Sonichite]], a total rip-off of Pokemon's Mega Stone concept.

===Chris's fanbase===
*'''Days Of Our Hogs/Wish You Were Hare''' [[Sonichu 12]] discusses Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding - with a few elements largely ripping off [[:Category:Fan_Comic_1|a fan comic by Jon Crayon]] - mainly Rosechu walking in on Sonichu and a naked Bubbles
*'''Rosechu's Story''' [[Sonichu 15]] plagiarizes elements of [http://rosechustory.tumblr.com/ a fancomic about Rosechu].

==[[Anime]]==
===''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]''===
* [[Ultra Sonichu]]'s Chaotic Remedy is a blatant copy of [[Wikipedia:Patamon#MagnaAngemon|MagnaAngemon's Magna Antidote]] attack.

===''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball/Z/GT]]''===
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s famed attack, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] (later Shin-ye-ha-me-ha), is based on the famed Kamehameha attack.
*The Sonichu Balls, though resembling Poké Balls, seem to function more like the titular Dragon Balls, as they are able to grant a wish when all are brought together.
*Ultra Sonichu heavily resembles Super Saiyans, both in behavior and appearance.
*[[Collosal Chan]] is Chris's really terrible attempt at ripping off Super Saiyan 4 from ''Dragon Ball GT'', which is a combination of the Super Saiyan and Great Ape forms.
*[[Mypoe]] ripped off [[Punchy]]'s tail because it was a "weak spot"; the same "weak spot" exists for Saiyans (unless said tail has been removed) and several Saiyans have theirs removed for the same reason.

===''Excel Saga''===
{{Main|Excel Saga}}

*A veritable hellstorm of shameless rips from this series appears in the ''Sonichu'' comics, in a way nearly as pervasive as Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog, yet comparatively subtler because he steals one-liners and monologues more than characters or storylines.
*...although he does indeed steal characters (like Mypoe and Nabeshin and [[Bagget|the Jerkop Daitenzen]]) from time to time.
*It is also possible that Chris stole the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] from the parody "Nabehameha" from ''Excel Saga'' (which was essentially a Kamehameha attack, except shaped like an afro).

===''{{w|Gurren Lagann}}''===
*The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a ripoff of a "fanmade" Sonichu named [[Simonchu]] who, in turn, is ripped off from the main character of the series, Simon the Digger.
**It should be noted that Chris has probably never seen ''Gurren Lagann'', and as such misinterpreted several aspects of Simonchu's design that were intended to be referential to Simon: his cape became Simonla's shell, and his Core Drill pendant became a shark's tooth necklace.
**When Chris was forced to kill off Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he promptly created [[Sandy Rosechu]], Simonla's daughter. She is essentially exactly the same design-wise, except she is yellow and has a different hairstyle.

===''{{w|Inuyasha}}''===
*In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], [[Saramah Rosechu]] pins [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] to a tree, Wes making the statement "Where did this non-sacred tree come from?" This is a "[[Random-access humor|hilarious gag]]" referring to InuYasha's origin story, wherein he was pinned by an arrow to a cursed tree by priestess/crack shot/vengeful ex-girlfriend {{w|List of Inuyasha characters#Kikyo|Kikyo}}. Also, with some imagination and enough [[alcohol]], one can see that a cloud in the background in one of the panels is shaped vaguely like InuYasha's head.
*Chris also has a [[Marvey Blaziken|Blaziken]] in his Pokémon team named "Inuyasha", which was only revealed on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> It's likely that this is the same Blaziken seen training with [[Sandy]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], though he is not identified by name in that comic. The name makes absolutely no sense, as [[Honor roll|the literal translation of Inuyasha means "dog demon"]].

===''{{w|Kekko Kamen}}''===
*The face-rape of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is based on the '''Pubic Hair Jump''', a move by which the title character of ''Kekko Kamen'' kills her enemies.

===''{{w|Macross Frontier}}''===
*Chris's infamous drawing of [[Jiggliami]] was copied from a picture by [[Blanca]], who copied the pose from a popular picture of Ranka Lee, one of the major characters of the series.

===''{{w|Pretty Cure}}''===
{{quote|"This is so "Pretty Cure"! I'M BACK!"|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].}}

*''Pretty Cure'' spoofs the ridiculous costumes, magical schoolgirls, and attack names of other anime series. The [[Chrs-Chan_Pure_Pulse-Jolt_Lance|Chrs-Chan [sic] Pure Pulse Jolt Lance]] (the attack that [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] are able to perform with their combined Hedgehog powers) is stolen from this series, and even though its original counterpart was given a ridiculous name, Chris felt the need to make it sound like some idiot had just mashed some random words into an attack name for his own version. ''Oh wait...''
* Also noteworthy is that Chris copied (and butchered) the pre-attack catch phases and attack poses. Most of these rip-offs occur in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] and [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]].

===''Sailor Moon''===
{{Main|Sailor Moon}}

*[[Sailor Megtune]], Chris's hideously inappropriate SI Mary Sue for [[Megan]], combines elements of the various heroines from the series, though the name is based on {{w|Sailor Neptune}}.
*The [[Dark Mirror Hole]] may be a reference to a number of related ''Sailor Moon'' places/items, including the Black Dream Hole of [[Wikipedia:Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie|''Sailor Moon SuperS: The Movie'']], and a mirror-like item that was used by Queen Nehellenia in the first six episodes of ''Sailor Moon Sailor Stars'' and the majority of ''Sailor Moon SuperS''.

===[[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']]===
*In the aforementioned random-access humor ED edit, Chris quoted a joke from the US-dubbed version of SPC: "Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED".
*He created the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], which is a ripoff of both ''Samurai Pizza Cats'' and [[Transformers]]. They make several appearances in the comic to help [[Sonichu]] battle the [[Jerkops]].
*Punchy Sonichu, provider of random-access humor, has referenced this series a few times.

===''Yu-Gi-Oh!''===
{{Main|Yu-Gi-Oh!}}

*[[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband-to-be is depicted as Jack's Knight, a ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' monster. Chris had no idea what he looked like, so naturally he depicted him as a Yu-Gi-Oh card.<ref>http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Jack's_Knight</ref>
*For no given reason, Chris (and Chris alone) tends to use various ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' items during his battles (especially extremely convenient trap cards) and is even depicted using a Duel Disk when dealing with [[Wes Iseli]].

==Western animation==
===''The Adventures of The American Rabbit''===
{{Main|The Adventures of The American Rabbit}}

*Chris stole many concepts for his [[Love Quest]] and lines from this movie for use in the comics ("I will, thank you father" from the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] is a line uttered by Robert Rabbit).

===[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|''American Dad!'']]===
*Chris has referred to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] as "[[Chris and hypocrisy|the Dork of Ages]]", a phrase taken from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]".

===''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''===
{{Main|Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}
*The ''ATHF'' characters appear in one panel in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], along with Meatwad's old catchphrase, "The bun is in your mind."
*Chris (badly) painted one of his Guitar Hero guitars to look like Meatwad's toy guitar.

===''A Troll in Central Park''===
*In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' 12]], [[Jackie]] is shown saying to [[Robbie Sonichu]], "I'm a baaad troll!", which is likely a reference to an [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReNCe06jX6Y infamous ditty] sung in the Don Bluth film ''A Troll in Central Park'', a popular clip used online to mock [[Weens|failtrolls]].

===''Beavis and Butt-head''===
{{Main|Beavis and Butt-head}}

*In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Beavis and Butt-head appear in a gag directly stolen from the original cartoon series. (although Chris does write "Apologies to Mike Judge" and "Source of joke: Beavis and Butt-head's 'Substitute'").

===[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck|''Darkwing Duck'']]===
*[[Darkbind Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of this series' main character – Darkwing Duck.
*The font Chris uses to write "Darkbind" is traced from the show's logo.
*Upon arriving, Darkbind recites a completely bastardized version of Darkwing Duck's trademark entrance speeches. The main change is that the original speeches were filled with tongue-in-cheek irony, while Chris's version is completely serious and unnecessarily pompous.
*Chris calls Darkbind "D.B.", reminiscent of how Darkwing Duck's sidekick Launchpad McQuack calls him "D.W."
*[[Princess Zelina Rosechu]] may be a partial ripoff of Darkwing Duck's girlfriend Morgana McCawber (though this theory is debatable).

===''[[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd n Eddy|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]''===
*In one of his ED edits, Chris added a huge wall of random-access humor, including a joke from the episode "One + One = Ed": "Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?", originally said by Ed.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg5_OEhzuuI</ref>
*In the video [[CWCFlyingElephants]], a nude Chris repeatedly bashes his head on his bed like a [[slow-in-the-mind]], and quotes another line from Ed, from the episode "Stop, Look and Ed": "I'm a woodpecker! Except with dirt!".<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6YLmzrNVw0</ref> His bed not being made of dirt ([[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|though it probably contains a fair bit of it]]), it just makes no sense.

===''[[Family Guy]]''===
{{Main|Family Guy}}
*In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Chris meets [[Sammy]], who resembles Peter Griffin, who goes through a series of incidents involving sequences from Filmation's ''[[Ghostbusters]]''.
*In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris directly lifts a gag in which a news anchor delivers a serious professional story, then immediately jumps to excited coverage of Spring Break.
*The title of his bizarre rap video, "[[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up]]", was lifted from "[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears (Family Guy)|Prick Up Your Ears]]", in which the reverend teaching the high school about abstinence starts his performance by telling the kids, "Put your Walkmans down and listen up".
*Page 15 of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] is a dead ringer for the scene in the episode "{{w|Wasted Talent}}," in which Peter trips and falls, injuring his knee, then spends an inordinately long time clutching it and groaning in pain.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P15.jpg]]</ref>
*Page 36 of ''Sonichu #10'' imitates Peter and Lois's [[Fabricated BDSM texts|BDSM]] bedroom scene from the episode "Let's Go to the Hop."<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref>
*At the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Marvey Blaziken tells the reader that "inspiration does not have a schedule". On ''Family Guy'', this exact phrase was spoken by New Brian during the episode "[[Wikipedia:The Man with Two Brians|The Man with Two Brians]]" before he proceeds to sing about [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting]]. Naturally, the phrase referred to New Brian fitting in writing a song (about farting) into his already-busy schedule of helping out the family.
*In ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris makes out with [[Silvana]] disguised as [[Meg Griffin]]. This means that in the cultural enclave that is CWCville, Meg Griffin appears to be both a fictional character of whom Chris has a peculiar sexual interest (''Sonichu'' #7), but also somebody who can just show up with little surprise from Chris.
*In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], one of Sonichu's kids is playing the Virgin Mary in a school play, she says "I'm the Virgin Mary, that's my story and I'm sticking to it". This is said by Joe's wife Bonnie in "[[Wikipedia:A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas|A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas]]", where she is doing the exact same thing. Of course, the line isn't as disturbing when she says it, considering she's an adult woman, whereas the rosee who says it is ''three years old''.

===''Futurama''===
{{Main|Futurama}}

*The time-travel plot of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] ("Time Hogs") was stolen from the direct-to-DVD movie ''[[Wikipedia:Futurama: Bender's Big Score|Bender's Big Score]]'', and this is shamelessly lampshaded by the recolors in the beginning of the episode. In some kind of post-modern bullshit, Bender as he appears in ''Bender's Big Score'' physically appears in the time vortex, literally a page before Sonichu mentions the film directly.
*The line "Smoke um peace pipe" in [[Wigwam]] is stolen from the ''Futurama'' episode "Where the Buggalo Roam".

===''Ghostbusters''===
{{Main|Ghostbusters#Plagiarism}}

*Chris's ''Family Guy''-style "skitch" rips off the FALSE and DISHONEST ''Ghostbusters'' created by Filmation.

===[[Wikipedia:He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|''He-Man and the Masters of the Universe'']]===
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: [[Beel]] exclaims: "I have the power!" after stealing Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]].

===[[Wikipedia:Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi'']]===
*[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] has Wes refer to Chris's cards as "Stu-Pi-Doh magic". Stu-Pi-Doh was an in-universe [[parody]] of ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]

===[[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]===
*[[Officer Keino]]'s appearance is ripped straight from Coach John McGuirk.
*The end of the [[Giant Penis Comic]] special contains gags from the show-where Chris thinks he and [[Ivy]] are being romantic with their stolen dialogue, they aren’t. In the episode the exchange comes from, it was intentionally unromantic.

===''[[Wikipedia:Johnny Bravo|Johnny Bravo]]''===
* [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] has a line from the Scooby-Doo crossover ripped out entirely, regarding Applecore. As custom dictates, Chris [[Random-access_humor|neglects to employ the context that made the joke funny in the first place]].

===''[[Wikipedia:Muppet Babies|Muppet Babies]]''===
*Chris made a [[SonichuBabies|suicide-inducing 12-minute video]] of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as Sonees and Roseys, though needless to say his video lacked the major charms the series actually had.

===''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]]''===
{{main|My Little Pony}}
* In the [[Wedding Comic]], Chris and Ivy's carriage is pulled by what is clearly a ''My Little Pony'' horse.<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP2P6.jpg]]</ref>
* [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] is set primarily in the ''Friendship is Magic'' universe, which includes both the Equestria world of the main series and the human world of the ''[[Equestria Girls]]'' spinoff. The issue sees characters hopping across both worlds.
* In said comic, [[Night Star]] interacts with various characters from the G4 show, including but not limited to Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, [[Vinyl Scratch]], Discord and Lyra.
* The final arc of the comic sees Night Star and [[Kun]] picking up the story of the [[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: The Movie (2017 film)|''My Little Pony'' movie]]. Night Star even goes as far as breaking the fourth wall to plug the movie.

===''[[Wikipedia:Peanuts|Peanuts]]''===
{{main|Peanuts}}
* Chris uploaded [[RandomHumor1]] to his [[Flipnote Hatena]] account. Complete with horrendous drawings and obnoxious high-pitched voices, the animation plagiarizes the ''Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show'' episode "Sally at School" word for word.

===''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|The Powerpuff Girls]]''===
*The other half of [[Blake]]'s origin was stolen from The Powerpuff Girls, as an accidental dose of a foreign chemical gives him his evilness and his blackness, just as an accidental dose of "Chemical X" gave the Powerpuff Girls their powers. This is lampshaded poorly on the cover to Black Sonichu's introductory issue, [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], where [[Sonic]] suggests that Chemical "X" could have caused the change, but [[Sonichu]] corrects him; it was cherry cola.

===''[[Wikipedia:The Ren & Stimpy Show|The Ren & Stimpy Show]]''===
*[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]'s Sub-Episode 6, "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari", rips off the ''Ren & Stimpy'' episode "[[Chris's Room|Lair of the Lummox]]", which Chris even acknowledges (with Ren & Stimpy thinly veiled as "[[Chris and copyright|Ben & Stumpy]]").
*The titles for [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] ("SillyBeachFrenzy08" and "CrazyBeachFrenzy08") are likely a reference to the "Naked Beach Frenzy" episode of the ''{{w|Ren & Stimpy "Adult Party Cartoon"}}'', especially considering the sexual content in the uncensored comic.
*At the end of ''Sonichu'' #8's Episode 17, there is an advert for "Knothole", boasted as being from the creators of "Log".<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc7xLsp_mcg Log Commercial]</ref>

===''[[Wikipedia:Rick and Morty|Rick and Morty]]''===
* [[Dimensions#C-197|Dimension C-197]], where ''Sonichu'' and other animated franchises co-exist, is derived from the prime dimension of Rick and Morty, C-137.

===''[[Wikipedia:Rocko's Modern Life|Rocko's Modern Life]]''===
[[File:Patheticsoul.png|thumb|right|Presumably the fortune cookie Barb got before giving birth to Chris.]]
*When listing [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|what various spells he uses]], he claims the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] inflicts its target with "Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune". This is a reference from the episode "Fortune Cookie", where secondary character Filburt Shellbach gets a fortune that read "Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune Will Infest Your Pathetic Soul For All Eternity."

===[[Wikipedia:Sealab 2021|''Sealab 2021'']]===
*In the same [[ED]] edit, Chris included a joke from the ''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants": "What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist."

===''The Simpsons''===
{{Main|The Simpsons}}

*The parts of [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s design that were not already cannibalized from [[Simonla]] were copied from [[Wikipedia:Lisa Simpson|Lisa Simpson]].

===''South Park''===
{{Main|South Park}}
*[[CADD Chef]] is an obvious ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Chef (South Park)|Jerome "Chef" McElroy]].
*[[Beel]] has a strong resemblance to ''South Park'''s [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Satan|Satan]].

===''[[Wikipedia:Space Ghost Coast to Coast|Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''===
*The chant uttered by the guardian of the cave in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], "Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!", is one of Zorak's chants ("Lombaki Creo Plomo Pleo Zoma Ah Ah!") spelled backwards and mangled. Chris's original attempts to do spells or chants have failed spectacularly, so the stolen chant is one of his better ones.

===''[[wikipedia:SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob SquarePants]]''===
*In [[CWC Update 18 January 2009]], Chris yells "''And you know what else-else?!''" prior to stomping on his [[vibrator]], a line stolen from the ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' episode "Pizza Delivery".

===[[Wikipedia:The Brak Show|''The Brak Show'']]===
*In the oft-mentioned [[Random-access_humor#Random_ramblings|ED edit]], Chris included three lines from [[Adult_Swim|''The Brak Show'']], all of them from the same episode ("The New Brak"). The episode centers on [[Liquid_Chris|Brak]] dealing with an [[Christian_Weston_Chandler|annoying impostor]] who shamelessly copies everything Brak does - [[Liquid_Chris#Liquid_Saga|sound familiar]]?

===[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures|''Tiny Toon Adventures'']]===
* In [[Sub-Episode 5]], a cuckoo bird chirps out "Cuccoo! Cuccoo! If she thinks he'll never find a [[boyfriend-free girl]] with his method, then [[Slaweel]] is Cuccoo! Cuccoo!" This is a reference to character GoGo DoDo, who'd pop out of Acme Looniversity's clock tower in the longer episodes to say a phrase similar to that.

===''[[Transformers]]''===
{{Main|Transformers}}
*[[Optimus Prime]] mercilessly killing Decepticon spy [[Sarah Jackson]].
*Various Transformer-types appear in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].
*During the final battle with Reldnahc, the villain says ''"I've waited an eternity for this. Your life is mine Prime-chan!"''. A similar line is used by Megatron in ''Transformers: The Movie'', in particular during the scene when he fatally wounds Optimus Prime-- ''"I would have waited an eternity for this. It's over, Prime!"''. Even the following circumstances are near-identical, with the wounded heroes both performing one last defiant attack that defeats their respective villain.
*Some villainous Transformers Chris and his recolors did battle with are called "Decepti-Clones". In the ''Transformers'' video game based off of the ''Armada'' anime series released on the PS2, generic enemies were also called "Decepti-Clones".
*A scene in [[Sonichu 4]] blatantly rips off the Quintesson and Trial Scene from ''Transformers: The Movie''. This one's so blatant that it's kind of hard to believe that Chris could be so retarded as to not realize how [[Naive|obvious]] it is.
*The [[Manajerks|W-M-Manajerk]]'s power suit is a flagrant recolor of Spike's Environmental Suit from ''Transformers: The Movie''.
*Sonichu's dialogue "Slaweel is making her big push, and we have to push back!" is likewise recycled from dialogue in ''Transformers: The Movie''.

==Live-action film and television==
===''[[Gilligan's Island]]''===
{{Incomplete}}
*Thurston Howell, III and his wife Lovey make an appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], hinting at the name of the head of [[4-cent_garbage.com]], the infamous [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===''[[Monty Python]]''===
{{incomplete}}
{{Main|Monty Python}}
*When [[Darkbind Sonichu]] is fighting the [[B-Manajerk]], a word-for-word copy of the "Black Knight" sketch from [[Wikipedia:Monty Python and the Holy Grail|''Monty Python and the Holy Grail'']] is spoken.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Need we say more?
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: An impromptu "comedic" sequence making "fun" of [[Jimmy Hill]] starts with "And now for something completely different...", contains a collage of photos and drawings reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's artistic experiments, and features a porcupine shouting: "Dinsdale!"

===[[Wikipedia:Spaceballs|''Spaceballs'']]===
*In the [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] fight between [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris-Chan Sonichu gets his tail singed by a fire blast then exclaims, "You burned my tail! Now it's personal!" before going on the offensive. This is very similar to the scene in ''Spaceballs'' where gun-hating Princess Vespa gets her hair singed by a laser in a firefight and exclaims, "You shot my hair! You son of a bitch!" then proceeds to singlehandedly mow down the attacking Spaceballs with a laser rifle.<ref>https://youtu.be/XPmm2aTY0no?t=4s </ref> While the words aren't identical, he reads the lines with the same cadence and inflection as Vespa's in his [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8|Official Videobook]] clip.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zPNU6bXa5o&t=486s (''Relevant portion from 8:06 to 8:12'')</ref>

===[[Wikipedia:Carrie (film)|''Carrie'']]===

*Chris's "[[High School Story]]" is an amalgamation of Stephen King's ''Carrie'', and Chris's own [[high school]] experience. Its main character, Terrah, is bullied and underappreciated, so she murders everyone with her psychic powers.

===''[[Wikipedia:Power Rangers|Power Rangers]]''===
{{Main|Power Rangers}}
*In [[Sub-Episode 8]], Chris is given advice by the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] and as he leaves, he tells him "May the Anchuent Powers Protect You", a butchering of Zordon's ''Star Wars''-inspired phrase "May the Power protect you."
*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the CWC-Power Rangers are introduced, but never seen with the sole exception of Kart Megazord.
*[[Silvana]]'s basic existence, back story, and partial appearance (but not her [[pickle]]) are copied directly from a villain, [[wikipedia:Villains_in_Power_Rangers_in_Space#Astronema|Astronema]], from ''[[wikipedia:Power_Rangers_in_Space|Power Rangers in Space]]''
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris introduces a terrible new song entitled "[[Revive Zordon]]", which displays his wish for the return of the "original" Power Rangers team.

===''Saw''===
{{Main|Saw}}
*Louis Perez, appearing in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]], could be named after the character from the ''Saw'' franchise (possibly a relative, as Lindsey Perez from the movies is female). Chris has previously stated that the ''Saw'' series is one of his favorite movie franchises.<ref>[[Common_Questions#31_December_2009]]</ref> Both characters are [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] policemen, making the "inspiration" much more likely.
*The execution of the [[Asperpedia]] crew in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is performed through what equates to elaborate death traps, similar to what is seen in the ''Saw'' series. They certainly have more in common with those movies than with anything resembling actual state-sponsored executions.

===''[[Wikipedia:Independence Day (film)|Independence Day]]''===
*In the [[Christian Love Day video]], he recited a modified version of the speech that President Thomas J. Whitmore makes before making a last stand against the aliens, which shows just how ridiculously corny he can get.

===[[Wikipedia:Alien (film)|''Alien'']]===
*When Chris is stranded in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], the words "In space, no one can hear you scream, in time you are heard to infinity" are narratively spoken. The phrase "In space, no one can hear you scream" comes from the promotional material for ''Alien''.

===[[Wikipedia:Lewis Black's Root of All Evil|''Lewis Black's Root of All Evil'']]===
*This Comedy Central show featuring Lewis Black as a judge was ripped off in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the judge at the trial, named "Slack Lewis," greatly resembles Black.

===''[[Wikipedia:Lethal Weapon 2|Lethal Weapon 2]]''===
*The exploding-toilet death of [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] was ripped off from the near-death of [[Wikipedia:Roger Murtaugh|Roger Murtaugh]] by exploding toilet in ''Lethal Weapon 2''.

===''Star Wars''===
{{Main|Star Wars}}
* In [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Machine"|Sonichu #8]], Jason's throne appears to resemble [[wikipedia:Palpatine|Emperor Palpatine]]'s throne in [[wikipedia:Return of the Jedi|''Return of the Jedi'']].
* Chris once told [[Jackie]] in [[Jackie e-mails|their e-mail exchanges]] that he essentially planned to make the backstory of [[Wild Sonichu]] a rip-off of the relationship between [[Wikipedia:Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker]] and [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] (Vader being Luke's father turned evil, for the few of you living in caves).

===[[Wikipedia:This Is Spinal Tap|''This Is Spinal Tap'']]===
*During the "[[Revive Zordon]]" performance, the speaker blurts out that the volume is "Cranked up to Eleven." We can only hope that Chris ripped this joke off directly rather than referencing something else referencing ''Spinal Tap''.

===''[[Wikipedia:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Terminator 2: Judgment Day]]''===
*Chris's [[Sonichu Special 4|threat on the life of]] [[Liquid Chris]] contains a number of elements from the film:
**The top speed of 65 mph during the escape scene
**The Terminator shooting an enemy in the legs, saying "He'll live."

===[[wikipedia:Superman (1978 film)|''Superman: The Movie'']]===
*The time-travel in ''Sonichu'' #7. Magi-Chan states that he can allow himself, Chris and Sonichu to travel through time by sending them counter-clockwise around the world, appearing to copy Superman's time-travel sequence (by flying around the world at a near-relativistic speed) [[Slow-in-the-minds|without understanding]] how that was supposed to work.

===[[wikipedia:The Three Stooges|''The Three Stooges'']]===
*At the start of the [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]], Chris does a fake advertisement for "Brighto", a product ripped off from ''The Three Stooges'' short "[[wikipedia:Dizzy Doctors|Dizzy Doctors]]".

==Video games==
===[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda|''The Legend of Zelda'']]===
{{incomplete}}
*The characters [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Zelina Rosechu]] are rip-offs of [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] and [[Wikipedia:Princess Zelda|Zelda]] respectively, the two main characters from the series, alongside being rip-offs of elements from the cartoon series ''Darkwing Duck'', strangely enough.
*The entire subplot about Darkbind and Zelina, involving Zelina being put under a sleeping spell by an [[Clawdorf|evil wizard]] and Darkbind setting off to reawaken her with a [[Sonichu Balls|powerful artifact]], is taken nearly verbatim from the story of ''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''. There, the Link from the [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (video game)|first game]] goes on an adventure to find a powerful artifact, in this case the Triforce of Courage, in order to awaken the original Zelda from a sleeping curse put on her by- you guessed it, an evil wizard.
*The land of "[[RuleCWC]]" is a not-so subtle ripoff of Hyrule- right down to aspects including the name and its castle.
*In the [[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails]], Chris claims that Darkbind Sonichu was trained in RuleCWC forest by a "rogue master swordsman" and an owl named King Alistair. These are obvious ripoffs of [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] and [[Wikipedia:Characters_in_The_Legend_of_Zelda_series#Kaepora_Gaebora|Kaepora Gaebora]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|''Mobile Suit Gundam'']]===
*During the [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] Saga, Chris drew box art for ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'', one of Chris's many fake box arts for his imaginary games. What's unique about this one is that it involves Megan Schroeder and her brother John. Despite being about Megan, it is not a [[rape]] simulator, but instead believed to be a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'']].

===[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']]===
*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Sonichu]] performs a Flash Kick on [[Slaweel]].
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s attack "Hyper Beam" looks a lot like one of [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]]'s super combos, the "Shinku Hadouken". It appears in [[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]].
*In [[Sonichu Special 4]], [[Kacey]]'s father resembles [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mario (series)|''Mario'' series]]===
{{incomplete}}

''Mario'' is a video game series conceived by [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], and has been the mascot of [[Nintendo]] for decades. While [[Sonic]] has fallen into a self-induced pit of horrifying shit, probably never to escape, Mario has stayed consistently good for all this time. Despite this, Chris very much favors Sonic, as he only has a passing interest in Mario. However, he has enough interest to rip it off from time to time.

*The Wing Cap ability from [[Wikipedia:Super Mario 64|''Super Mario 64'']] is ripped off in [[Sonichu 3|Sub-Episode 4]], where Chris flies around with wings on his head. They are later discarded, and Chris is strangely shown flying without them.
*His concept for ''Sonic The Hedgehog 64'', as expressed in his [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine]], is nothing more than ''Super Mario 64'' with [[Sonic]] and [[Tails]]. Literally.

===[[Wikipedia:Brütal Legend|''Brütal Legend'']]===
{{Main|Brutal Legend|Brutal Legend Plus}}
*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], during the introduction of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], [[Armoraxe]] uses a move that looks and acts exactly like the Solo "[[nudes|Face Melter]]" from the game. The only difference is that the move is called "Metal Melter".
*The devil [[trolls]] that appear to carry [[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]] away after he is defeated by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] seem to be a rip-off of the fans that appear to carry you off when you are defeated during a stage battle in ''Brütal Legend''. This is confirmed by the [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded]] phrase written next to the same panel in the comic, "Hmm, What 'Legend' brought these [[fanbase|fans]]?"
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris using the power of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|music]] and [[Son-Chu|stage]] to destroy the [[4-cent_garbage.com#The 4-cent_garbage building|4-cent_garbage building]] may have been inspired by ''Brütal Legend'''s Stage Battles. Son-Chu ''does'' turns into a giant stage which resembles Ironheade's megastage, but rather than offer a fair fight Chris just Guitar Heroes his opponents into oblivion instantly.
*[[Simonla]] gives [[Wild Sonichu]] her lucky shark's tooth necklace, similar to when Eddie Riggs gives Ophelia his mother's shark tooth-like necklace in ''Brütal Legend''.

===''[[God of War]]''===
*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. [[Collosal Chan]] pulls out lightning bolt versions of Kratos's Blades to fight [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel]].

===''[[Wikipedia:PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa the Rapper]]''===
*In preparation for the "[[Revive Zordon]]" performance, [[Sonichu]] puts on PaRappa's hat and becomes as flat and two-dimensional as PaRappa (not to mention his own character), then says PaRappa's catchphrase "I gotta believe!"

===''Gears of War''===
*In [[Sonichu 12-9]], Chris copied the names of the months in the [[My Little Pony|Equestarian]] calendar from the names of the seasons on planet Sera. The only names he skipped are "Brume" and "Sorrow".<Ref>[https://gearsofwar.fandom.com/wiki/Seasons_on_Sera]</ref>

==Web original==
===Jessi Slaughter===
*In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris says "The consequences will never be the same," mimicking the famous line "Consequences will never be the same!" as said by the father of the trolling/cyberbullying victim [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessi_Slaughter_cyberbullying_case Jessi Slaughter]. As it turned out, Chris was simply repeating something Jackie told him to say, and at the time probably never seen nor heard of the video in question.

===emgo316===
In late 2016, Chris began watching a YouTube channel named [https://www.youtube.com/user/emgo316/featured emgo316], which reviews Transformers action figures in the form of skits. Chris ripped off the channel's style with [[The Alpha Trion/"Young Warrior" Challenge]] and [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]].

==Western comics==
===Marvel===
*In [[July 2018]], Chris conversed with Seanan McGuire, a writer for Marvel, over Twitter. Thinking McGuire was an expert on [[Chris and reality|multiple dimension theory]], he asked her which dimension our Earth is in. She replied, "Earth 1218," thinking he was referring to comics; however, Chris took her answer as real and subsequently began to refer to himself as being from Earth 1218<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts]]</ref>.

===''[[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]]''===
*[[Wild Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Spider-Man]], a Marvel Comics superhero who can shoot long web strings from his wrists to swing across the city and entangle his enemies. Wild showcases a similar ability, but with vines (coincidentally resembling Spider-Plant-Man, a British [[Hello, Juffalo|''Comic Relief'']] spoof of Spider-Man played by Rowan Atkinson). While Peter Parker shoots web from his wrist, Wild shoots his vines from the back of his hand, bearing a little more resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Venom (Marvel Comics)|Venom]], a villain who shares virtually the same powers as Spider-Man. Similarly, Wild can also climb walls with relative ease, though it's not clear whether he's just a good climber or if he literally clings to walls, as Spider-Man does.
*In [[Sonichu 2]], when Chris has an out-of-body experience to communicate with the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], his ancestor tells him "With the powers you have released, comes great responsibilities!". This is stolen from a recurring moral lesson (which Chris took completely out-of-context) within Spider-Man lore that "with great power comes great responsibility", which is often inaccurately attributed as a quote from the character [[wikipedia:Ben Parker (comics)|Uncle Ben]]. Chris probably took this line from the 2002 [[wikipedia:Spider-Man (2002 film)|live-action film]].
*In [[Sonichu 5]], Chris claims that his "sixth sense is tingling", blatantly knocking off of Spider-Man's "spider-sense" catch phrase.

===[[Wikipedia:Hulk (comics)|''The Incredible Hulk'']]===
*[[Rosechu]]'s bat-shit insane [[Rape|rapist]] form, now known as [[the Incredible Lioness]], is a ripoff of the Hulk, a scientist and Avenger in the Marvel Universe who transforms into a [[Obesity|gigantic]], [[POWER|super-strong]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|child-minded]] monster when he becomes [[Virgin with rage|enraged]] or [[Stress|agitated]]. While Rosechu didn't turn green (and seeing as she's an [[wikipedia:Abomination_(comics)|abomination]] already, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that she's already bathed in gamma radiation), she gets pissed off when [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] launches a [[pickle]] at her and she tears him a new one for [[Women's rights|women's rights]] or something.

===[[wikipedia:Wolverine (comics)|''Wolverine'']]===
*As of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a partial ripoff of Wolverine, a mutant in the Marvel Universe with claws and regenerative abilities. It was revealed that Simonla [[Retroactive continuity|survived her assassination attempt]] apparently because of her skeleton, which is made out of a metal "similar to adamantanium", clearly ripped off from "[[wikipedia:Adamantium|adamantium]]", a fictional, indestructible metal in the Marvel Universe which coats Wolverine's skeleton and claws. Simonla also gains a healing factor similar to Wolverine.

==Songs==
*Everything from the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums is sung over another song; this may be Chris's biggest showing of plagiarism yet, aside from [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]].
*[[Jiggliami]]'s song, "War of Love," is a ripoff of "Love Is War," a [[Wikipedia:Supercell_(band)|Supercell]] song using [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Miku Hatsune]] for vocals. While Blanca wrote the ripoff, Chris was more than willing to use it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*The product number for [[John's Custom Gundam]] is [[Wikipedia:867-5309/Jenny|8675309]].

==Commercials==
*In [[Sonichu 1]], Chris interrupts Rosechu and Amy Rose's vapid girl talk because "[he'd] like to save time...and [[Chris and money|money]] on [his] [[Son-Chu|car]] insurance by switching over to 'Get-Co!'"

==The Bible==
*While Chris was [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]], like all inmates he was given a copy of the Bible. It appears he actually read it, or at the very least one of the Gospels' accounts of Jesus's life and crucifixion. Chris apparently identified with the [[Kick the Autistic|suffering]] of Jesus so much that he [[Angelica Rosechu's Christmas Play|made it a part of Sonichu]].

==List of fiction Chris has referenced and otherwise bastardized==
While Chris's [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] is chock-full of shameless ripoffs and copyright infringements, there are some references to works of fiction which can't be actually considered "ripping off," but manage to ruin the franchise in question nevertheless, for the sole fact of being referenced in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]. These are mostly instances of Chris either including a minor reference to a work of fiction, or just mentioning it, in his comics. While it's not considered a crime ''de jure'', it still may be called a crime against humanity, whose culture Chris has thus bastardized.

''Note that when such minor references concern works or franchises already listed in the main ripoff list above, they're added there, not here. It was done so that it would be easier to see how much has Chris managed to bastardize each franchise.''

===[[Wikipedia:Batman|Batman]]===
*[[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|''Sonichu'' #8, Episode 17, page 35]]: <nowiki>*</nowiki>For reasons unexplained, a photograph of the DC Comics superhero Batman appears on the wall of [[Allison Amber]]'s office. Christorians suspect this is either a reference to former Batman actor [[wikipedia:Adam West|Adam West]]'s fictitious Mayorhood on ''Family Guy'', or that Allison's alluded boyfriend is in fact the Dark Knight himself.

===[[Bugs Bunny]]===
*[[Sonichu 1#Episode 6|''Sonichu'' #1]]: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] says to the startled [[Dr. Robotnik]]: "Eh... You were expecting, maybe Bugs Bunny?".
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 11|''Sonichu'' #3]]: When Blake, the knockoff Shadow, goes to steal The Master Sunstone, the rip off Master Emerald, from Flame the Sunbird, he randomly states "Whats up, Doc?"- Bugs Bunny's catchphrase
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]: [[Simonla Rosechu]] appears to the other Rosechus via burrowing through the ground, in the vein of Bugs. In the same panel, she loosely paraphrases his "should'a taken that left turn in Albuquerque" phrase.
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: Bugs himself appears in the ''[[Monty Python]]''-esque collage, lecturing the toothless photograph of [[Jimmy Hill]] (who was implied to have sold counterfeit Warner Bros. merchandise in the past) on the evils of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]].

===''[[Wikipedia:Dig Dug|Dig Dug]]''===
*[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|''Sonichu'' #9]]: [[Simonla]]'s screen name is "DigDugette416".
**In the same episode, [[Layla]] jokes that Simonla only needs a pump to "fully dig the dug," whatever that means.

===[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|''Fight Club'']] and [[Wikipedia:Chuck Palahniuk|Chuck Palahniuk]]===
*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|''Sonichu'' #1]]: [[Hanna]] tells Chris that she likes reading books by "Chuck Pala[[duck]]" [sic], who is also (according to Chris's footnote) "the director of the movie "Fight Club" (well, maybe he believes that [[Wikipedia:David Fincher|David Fincher]] is just Chuck's alternate personality?)... Yes, "Chuck Pala'''[[duck]]'''".
*If Chris has actually seen the movie, it may be the influence behind [[30 August 2009|"Christopher"]].

===[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto|''Grand Theft Auto'']]===
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] orders: "[[Beel]]! Prepare for Grand Theft [[Medallion of Fail|Medal]]!"

===''[[Guitar Hero]]''===
*In ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', Christian & The Hedgehog Boys destroy the 4-Cent_Garbage building with help from the Guitar Hero rendition of Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever".

===''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''===
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|''Sonichu'' #10]]: For no reason at all, Sackboy appears at the bottom of the page and recites an anti-pirate advertisement for "LittleBigPlanet" and Chris's [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|Level of Fail]].

===''[[Wikipedia:My Best Friend's Wedding|My Best Friend's Wedding]]''===
*[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' episode 12 is named "My Best Friend's [[Cherokian]] Wedding."

===[[R.L. Stine]]===
*In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Chris tells Megan that his inspiration to create [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] struck while he was reading "a 'Fear Street' novel from my favorite author R.L. Stein".
**In the same issue he reminisces: "When I read a 'Goosebumps' or 'Fear Street' book back in the day, I'd fill each character role with ones from the wide-world of Sonic the Hedgehog. Sometimes, I would put myself in a lead role, but before I was able to, I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like from a mirror."

===''[[Sprung]]''===
*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|''Sonichu'' #1]]: Chris is shown playing ''Sprung'' on his [[Nintendo]] DS for dating tips before going on a date with [[Hanna]]. He reads the infamous "So, do angels have names?" compliment and notes that it "sounds right."

===[[Wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|''Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde'']]===
*[[Magical Man Potion]]: Chris drinks a [[Semen|magical concoction]] and transforms into an entirely different [[troll|being]], before reverting to his own self. Due to the fact that the transformation is "from [[Chris|bumbling]] to [[Liquid Chris|suave]]" rather than "from [[Chris and religion|moral]] to [[Death threats|cruel]]", as well as the extreme unlikelihood of him knowing classical Scottish literature, he probably stole the concept from ''[[Wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|The Nutty Professor]]'', a parodic work of Jekyll and Hyde.

===[[Wikipedia:B-Daman|''B-Daman'']]===
*[[Sonichu 1#Episode6|''Sonichu'' #1]]: Sonic curls up into a ball and enters a pocket of whatever in Sonichu's stomach, upon which Sonichu fires him out at Metal Sonichu which also is the form of a ball. At first, this looks like a reference to balls, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a ripoff of the Japanese Anime and Toy series B-Daman, which involves small cute robot-like characters firing balls out of their stomachs at other balls.

===[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|''Star Trek'']]===
*Both within the comics and in his real-life presentations, he uses the phrase "[[Captain's Log]]" a reference to the opening of most ''Star Trek'' episodes and movies. He's never seen anything of the franchise, but he felt the need to rip it off anyway. That's Chris for you.

===[[Wikipedia:Happy Tree Friends|''Happy Tree Friends'']]===
*In ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris mentions the "Happy Tree Friends-esque" deaths of the Chaotic Combo in Asperchu, implying that he's seen the show a few times.

==References==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[Chris and copyright]]
*[[List of phrases Chris copied from media]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

File:NO MORE BIGFOOT.png

2026-03-19T21:50:46Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special

2026-03-16T06:47:29Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special''' is a series of videos uploaded on 12 [[August 2009]], wherein [[Chris]] stood in for [[Jamsta Sonichu]] as DJ for [[KCWC]], the [[CWCville]] radio station. In a special live broadcast from his bedroom, Chris dedicated 10 songs to a number of people in his life.

== Part 1: #10 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|VIx6g9CZrpE}}</center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Note:''' All sound effects are done by Chris's voice.

[''Chris makes some random sound effects while holding the KCWC advertisement from [[Sonichu 8]]'']

[''normal voice''] Yes. Yes yes. Yes, what is it?

[''starts with a squeaky voice, but quickly returns to normal''] A man wants to know what to do for info-mation. Why call us, it's on the dial: information. You heard him. Ba-dum-ba-dum--quiet, we're on the air.

[''pause, then a lame imitation of the NBC chimes''] Boop!

[''creepily''] Hello, everyboooody. We just brought the moon over the mountain.

[''squeaky and nigh-indiscernible''] Hello ma, hello pa. You've brought mature faith. I good like that. Now for a little ice--[''interrupting himself''] quiet.

[''gay voice''] Dis broadcast is being brought to you by the courtesy of Brighto, in 6 delicious flavors: chocolate, vanilla, cranberry, strawberry, and raspberry. [''[[Honor roll|Yes, that was only five.]]''] WAKOW! It's still raspberry. [[It's UGH!|Ehhhhh]]. Oh no! [''whooping noise''] Now get quiet or I'll sack you again. [[We're Being Watched|Are you listening?]] V-v-v-voom, v-v-v-voom. [''drunkenly''] Eh, gedatta here.

Now don't go away ladies and gentlemen. We will soon be with you. Zheeem! Boom. Cuckoo! [''whispers, barely audibly''] Da orrist.

[''another lame imitation of the NBC chimes''] Boop!

[''crappy opening tune, sings''] Ba ba ba bum, ba ba ba bum, it's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station KCWC. And here is your hoooost with the moooost, ''[[Jamsta Sonichu]]!'' [''to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut"''] Ba-ba-ba-bum-bum, ba-bum!

Good evening-good orning [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]. This is your host, Jamsta Sonichu. Everybody he-here everybody heh. Station KCWC, with my co-host [[Lolisa Rosechu]]. But for the moment we will be taking you live to Christian Chandler's bedroom. Take it away, Mr. C.

[''Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed'']

Thank you Jamsta. Yes, this is [''takes off glasses''] Christian Weston Chandler, birth name Christopher. Born on February 24, [[1982]]. Ri--coming to you live from the house in Ruckersville, Virginia, that reaches from the beaches to the shore. Everdear on everythang KCWC. And today we will be offering a special dedication. It's our top ten dedications to some of the young, inspiring people out there. Uh, even [[Chris and death|some that may have passed away unfortunately, God rest in peace for those individuals]]. But anyway, we will be doing our top 10 dedications.

Originally for #10 we were going to do "Drops of Jupiter" from T-uh, from uh..."Drops of Jupiter" from Train, I think it was, for this individual named [[Max|Max Molvanîa]]. [''Suddenly angry''] But you know what this son of a bitch conned me out of ''Disgaea 3'', ''Street Fighter 4'', and ''Burnout Paradise'' full game, DLC, between those first two games and whatnot, from the PlayStation Network, as stored from me in the first place so [''raspberry''] to him...and also impersonated the [[Julie|woman that I th-d-thought for a long time the person was]].

Anyway, so instead, we will be doing th-our-for our #10, as for our first inspirational song, we will be doing this dedication for all upcoming young artists of, uh, hand-drawing speculations [''makes gesture in the air''] or handcrafting or whatever. [''Touches medallion''] Handcraft. Anyway. Anyway, we will be doing, this is for, like, you know, for all them, as well as any individuals, within any schools - every single school - who I know gets bullied or tortured nadata, as well as those on the internet who get bullied and tortured by the dang internet bullies and trolls. Dis song is for y'all. It's "[[CWC Dare|Dare]]" from {{w|Stan Bush}}.

[''Jump cut to [[Optimus Prime]] toy as "Dare" plays in bad quality. A black wire is lifted past the screen about halfway through for...no discernible reason. Also, we now see where Chris' glasses get thrown to, which is important'']

[''Jump cut back to Chris. He takes off his glasses'']

Ah, yes, Mr. Stan Bush with an inspirational word for us never to let our dreams die. The power's at our command. [''Holds up his hand''] We hold the future in our hands [''points to head''] the little voice inside us tellises it's the last round, but we press on anyway.

Anyway, before we move on to song #9, we have to take a brief break...for to let the commercials air. First, the word from our sponsor, the ''I Love Lucy'' show. We love you Lucy O'Ball.

[''Holds up KCWC advertisement again. Talks in a falsetto''] Hello friends, I'm da [[Vitameatavegamin]]<ref>A reference to the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' episode ''{{w|Lucy Does a TV Commercial}}'', Chris's favorite ''I Love Lucy'' episode.</ref> girl. Hey ta, run down lislis. Do you wayla parties? Are you popular? Get ya all da brothels in this little bottle. Vitameatavegimin. Vitameatavegimin contains vitamins, meat, veg-et-ables and minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegimin, you can [[PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!|spoon your way to health]]. Just take one tablespoon full after every meal. It's so tasty too. Mmm, tastes like candy. So why not join the thousands of happy cappy people and get a big bottle full of Vitameatavegimin tomorrow. That's Vita-meata-vegimin.

== Part 2: #9 and #8 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|SnGqv4afWfw}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

And! Welcome back to station K-C-W-C! We are the main station of the city of Cwcville, Virginia, reachin' da beaches! We are live and raring to keep on trackin' with ''everything''. During dedications, I'd like to take one brief, brief moment to make a dedication to Mr. [[R.L. Stine]], [''holds up ''The Haunted Mask'', turning his head briefly to his right as if to read off a cue card''] author of ''Goosebumps'', [''pauses, then holds up two ''Fear Street'' novels, turning his head again briefly to the right''] and the ''Fear Street''s. Thank you mister R.L. Stine, you were an [''salutes''] inspiration to me [[A Week With Christian Chandler|through high school]]. Gave me a few frights as well.

And also thanks to [[gal-pal|Sarah Bevel]], my- one of my high school [[gal-pal]]s, who gave me a couple of S--your Senior books...uh, I have the other one, but I found this one, but, still good to go.

Anyway, coming in at, uh, #9, we are doing a distance dedication...well, not so distant, 'cause he lives near sa- near the city of Ruckersville or Charlottesville... uh, Dyke, I believe it was. Anyway, we are puttin' out a dedication to Joshua Martinez, followed by one for [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Anne Hudgens]]. Hey, don't believe his pictures, all the ladies he has on his iPhone: they're from people's Mysp- spaces that he dun even know, so he's lyin' through his ass and I bet he was lyin' through his ass when-when he told, when, uh, he told me I was talking to Vanessa Hudgens the whole time, uh, even though i-- even though it would have been nice gal-pal and I should have been talkin' to her for REAL, but, but nonetheless, his screenname was used for it every time I talked to supposedly her, if I was him the whole time, whatta dang dirty liar! I don't care if the trolls troll HIM!

Anyway, our next song is "{{w|No Tengo Dinero (Los Umbrellos song)|No Tengo Dinero}}" from {{w|Los Umbrellos}} and, by the way, another lie he told me: I checked. [''pauses''] Vanessa Hudgens was never in Los Umbrellos. So anyway, come in #10, "No Tengo Dinero," followed by, number, I mean, #9 was "No Tengo Dinero", followed by #8, "{{w|Sneakernight}}". Thank you, [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]], if I had actually been talkin' to you.

[''"No Tengo Dinero" by Los Umbrellos plays, followed by "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens. Chris has the cover of the Dreamcast title ''Samba De Amigo'' in front of the camera. Video ends just as "Sneakernight" ends. Note that the video linked does not contain these songs due to copyright.'']

== Part 3: #7 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|wF9tmKAcwYc}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

And you are list' to Everything Station KCWC! That was, uh, shoot, "Sneakernight" from Vanessa Hudgens. Thank--ladies and gentlemen, coming in on #8 I believe it was? Yeah, #8 on the Top 10 Dedications.

Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication...to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra--I had meant to be--I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, [[Megan Schroeder]], her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, {{w|Yngwie Malmsteen}}. Take it away, Mr. Malm.

[''"[[wikipedia:Eclipse (Yngwie Malmsteen album)|Making]] [[Hanky-panky|Love]] (Extended Guitar Mix)" by Yngwie Malmsteen plays, with Megan's original drawing of [[Megagi]] in front of the camera.'']

== Part 4: #6 and #5 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|WNUJYodeBts}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

Ah yes the old extended guitar mix track I had just for the [[Megan|girl]] I had that I love you, but unfortunately lost contact with her, she moved away. Lives in another state. I hope you're still safe and well, Megan.

Anyway coming in at number six! A dedication to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Mr. born with the name Christian W. Chandler]]... but he was not the real deal because... in order to be the real deal you ha-you ahh-you cannot, you cannot be the real deal because I am the real deal, born with the-I was born with the name Christopher. So there. He was not he was born as a Christian W Chandler. Anyway this dedication... anyway... You know him as being the impostor who made me pull out my Parappa Hat, and my shirt that I won from the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa Contest]] back in August 2008. Now! The Dedication goes out to him, and his sweetheart [[Kacey]]. It's a classic from {{w|*NSYNC}}, so... [''points at the camera''] quit tearing out my heart, or-and her heart, Christian. Take it away 'N Sync!

[''"{{w|Tearin' Up My Heart}}" by *NSYNC plays in horrendously low quality. Throughout the song, an image of a brown Sonichu is held in front of the camera. This brown Sonichu was revealed to be the comic counterpart of [[Liquid Chris]] on 17 [[November 2009]]'']

[''Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed, wearing a blue vest and what is presumably his original Wolf Scout bandanna he has held onto since he was around 7. He turns to face the camera.'']

Peace out and how! Just coming to you live from my bedroom on station KCWC. Yeah, and quit tearing up our hearts man! Yeah, you're the one that's [[List of Chris's lies|lying]]. Heh, you in last video. The dog? [''Inhuman falsetto''] THE DAAAA! [''Normal voice''] What the...no, that's--that's just wrong, man. That's just wrong.

Anyway! Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the on that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me [''Removes glasses, leans into camera and points to his left eye'']] in my one blue eye. [''backs away from the camera, replaces glasses''] And in my heart and soul. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|Cuz he is me, I am him]]. You don't get that, you're just-this guy.. uh that guy.

[''Reaches for Sonic CD box on bed''] Anyway coming in at-anyway coming in at number five, oh and also, Neckerchief: I was in the Wolf Scouts. The Wolf Cub Scouts. In the late 1980's Den number four, Red numbers 174. If You find the den mother that ran that-that ran that-that house den thing way back when, tell her Christopher says: [''Suddenly angry''] Hey. Why'd you kick me out? Because I was autistic you were afraid of me? Yeah. But still, hey.

Anyway, [''Holds up Sonic CD case''] {{w|Sonic CD#Music|Sonic Boom from Pastiche}}! [''pronounced "Past-teach-ee"''] Cuz it's our common link as our hero, even before [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] came around, it was the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]], and that one movie. Anyway, let's get rocking. Oh and also, the Cub Scouts, [''Does a salute of sorts''] that's where I learned to salute like this! So, the further salute... to Christopher. As he still lives on in me. Let's get Boomin'!

[''The end credits version of "Sonic Boom" by Pastiche plays in the background with terrible audio quality. The Case for Sonic CD is held up to the camera throughout.'']

== Part 5: #4 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|UMEqRapfog4}}</center>

The picture shown during the song is a hand-drawn portrait of [[Sarah_Jackson|Sarah Jackson]]

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:SarahJackson.jpg|thumb|right|Image from the video dedicated to Sarah Jackson.]]
Ah, yes the p--classic from the Sonic series, and ''Pas-tee-chee'' that continues to be a [''raises finger''] BIIIG number one hit in the city of CWCVille, Virginia, and the heart of me, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler [''touches left manboob'']. YOU are listening to every-thing station: KCWC. Before we continue with the de--uh, dedication list I just would like to, uh, bring out that, uh, like you to know... from a friend of mine, uh, she, uh recommended ah White Stripes ''unformanute''--unfortunately we do not have any tracks of them at the moment, but as soon--but as soon we download some, uh y'know, we'll put in there during twelve o'clock, like everything ''lunch hour'', ...Heh... on this radio station that "''Reaches the Beaches''", and uh, you know, she's also helped me out as well in the past, ah you know for uh more recent events...

And, uh also, just another dog-gone note - [''holds up Starscream toy''] OXYSTAR-SCREEA--UH, OXY-StarsSclean: "OxyStarsSclean", AKA Oxycleanfanatic2264 Your friend has left you. Now you can go rot with [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]! [''throws Starscream toy on the floor''].

Anyway, coming in at number 4 on the Top Ten dedication: the heart of mine [''removes glasses''] --m-my heart goes out to... da, fi--the, uh, final --the 3 girls that top that-- that I'll mention, uh, here in this conte-- ah in the ''final four''. Firstly, Ms. Sarah Jackson. (That may be no accident??) she was as ''tough as a bear''. And she was a very good woman. And she was a true friend. Among the gal pals I've talke-- I've made, and talked to on the Internet... [''shrill voice''] UNLIKE [[Blanca|BLANCA WEISS]] WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A TROOOOLL. Anyway, uh--r, anyway, Rita I know is a family member, i-if y-you are waching this: her hear--y'all smiles, and hers, still has a place in my heart. Just like all my [[Gal_pal|Gal Pals]]... in my past, and everywhere. Their smiles still have a place in my heart. So, anyway, from the track that she picked out for me just before she passed-- [''Big ol' empty [[sigh]]''] take it away: {{w|REO Speedwagon}}...

AND she was also the teacher in the Sex-Ed class in that [[Sonichu_9|episode]]... I'm sorry, [[Dating_education|DATING EDUCATION]] class.

[''REO Speedwagon takes it away with "{{w|Can't Fight This Feeling}}" on KCWC'']

== Part 6: #3 ==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|vLS3xkiS5CI}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

You are listening to Everything Station KCWC.

Coming in at #3 for our Top 10 Dedications, a friend- sweet friend of mine- good friend of my sweet, my doomed sweetest Ivy O'Neil, Sen-Chan (I dare not reveal her real name), but anyway, she has been a good friend of her, her [??] the days and she's be-uh, she has been good to me as well. So anyway, based upon her suggestion and, uh, request, here's a classic, here's a good one from [[Britney Spears]], "Heaven on Earth."

[''"Heaven on Earth" by Britney Spears plays. The picture shown is a drawing of a Meowth based fan character who was previously featured in the [[Wedding Comic]] (where her name was revealed to be Lilith).'']

== Part 7: #2 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|JfNlTVumYP0}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

[''"[[Holding Out for a Hero]]" by {{w|Bonnie Tyler}} plays. A picture of Chris and Ivy from [[Sonichu Special 1]] is in front of the camera.'']

[''Picture disappears, leaving us looking at Chris's face with his eyes bulging out''] Ahhh, yes. Coming in at #2, that was Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero", dedicated to my sweetest [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]]. It was a fool of my father, tricked me into believing him, and my detective not finding her father in any of the police records. Shoot. [''sighs''] My heart still, has a place for your smile, Ivy. Please come back. But, you know, I'll move on, still, but, you know, it'd be nice if you'd come back one day.

Anyway, now, after the commercial break, we'll talk about s-, we'll talk about #1 on the hit dedication charts, right here on station KCWC!

== Part 8: #1 ==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|oUiDRm9roE4}}</center>

=== Transcript ===
And welcome back to Everything Station KCWC in [''removes glasses''] CWCville, Virginia. Anyway, coming in at number one on the Top Ten Dedication…is inspirational. Comes from the hear - eh - which was sung by the uh galpal I talked to all the way from Australia, [[PandaHalo]], inspire - [''holds up PandaHalo art''] drew the original fan art that's gonna be da cover of book number 10. Also somebody else drew fanart that was gonna be book for uh - book - eh- the next book after that, season - for the - season premiere. Anyway. Anyway, this goes out to uh her, may she rest in peace even though she burned once in those brush fires.

Here is [''whispers dramatically''] "Lift Up Your Eyes" from The Planetshakers [''regular voice''] on Everything Station KCWC and after the song's over I'm gonna hand everything back to Jamsta Sonichu. Have a safe day.

''[The song plays, while Chris shows the cover of [[Sonichu 10]]]''

[''As song begins''] She also had quite the lovely voice when she sang it for me as well.

==External links==
https://vid.me/cwcreup the videos on vid.me

==References==

<references/>

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-11]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-11]]
[[Category:KCWC]]

Mumble 9

2026-03-15T00:09:17Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Clyde and The Miscreants.png|200px|thumb|right|RA RI RU RE RO!]]

'''Mumble 9''' is the 9th of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 23 [[February 2009]].

In this chat, Chris enters a room full of [[Miscreants]]. The trolls, who have been mostly playing along with Chris in the chats so far, suddenly take a much darker turn and gang up on him. They tell Chris that their mission is to stop him from ever getting [[china]] ([[Mia Hamm|which later failed]]), and that they have many operatives including [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. They also criticize him for multiple things, most notably [[Chris and...|a lot of his faults]]. Chris exits the chat after [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] shouts [[death threats]] and calls him a [[Homos|fag]]. He later returned [[Mumble 9.5|not far afterwards]], but only after Arjen is (presumably) kicked from the call.

==Transcript==
===Part 1===
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Christian Weston Chandler in: Rise of the Miscreants (Part 1 of 2)
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|YiSev0QXgZY}}
| Stardate = 23 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Clyde]], [[Miscreants]]
}} </center>

'''Clyde:''' Welcome to the brothers, ''Miscreants!''
 [''Trolls pipe in with "Brother!"'']
 '''Clyde:''' Alright--
 '''Chris:''' First, stop this. Look. I did that vid--look, I did the--first off, I did that video just for [[Julie]]. And [[Max|her brother]] found it on her computer, and uploaded it to the [[YouTube]], without...neither of our consent.
 [''pause'']
 '''Clyde:''' Do you understand what the Miscreants are, that her brother is part of it? He has been a very valuable...member. [''pause''] Do you understand what the Miscreants are, Chris?
 '''Other Troll:''' '''Do you understand why we're here, fool?'''
 '''Chris:''' Let me guess, you're all a bunch of [[troll]]s, aren't you.
 '''Trolls:''' No--
 '''Clyde:''' NO.
 '''Other Troll:''' Y'all isn't intelligent(?), isn't it?
 '''Clyde:''' Look. Ever since [[Evan]] from /v/--well, you don't know what /v/ is, but ever since Evan posted those gay pictures with the "[[masturbating and squirtin']]", we have been there from the beginning.
 '''Chris:''' .....what?
 '''Clyde:''' Don't you remember Evan, the person who sent you gay pictures of [[Sonichu]] and you having [[sex]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Clyde:''' In [[2007]]?
 '''Troll:''' Don't tell me Chris, the [[stress]] is going to make you leave. I'm sorry, guys, we should stop stressing him,
 '''Clyde:''' SILENCE! [''pause''] Do you remember?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Clyde:''' Do you remember [[Jason]]--always a valuable member, always willing to take the fall for me--c--creating the [[ED]] page, getting their e-mails? He was a good member too. [''pause''] And can't you remember [[Blanca]], the one who destroyed your [[medallion]]? Remember?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Clyde:''' All part of the Miscreants, Chris. And the latest member: [[PandaHalo|Sarah McKenzie]]. Or you know her as "Panda". She's not dead. She's alive, at my side. Panda's sleeping right now, I shouldn't be talking so loud, anyway- yes. I can't believe you fell for her.
 [''pause, some trolls say something incoherent'']
 '''Clyde:''' We've been here from the beginning. Do you know why, Chris?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You're trying to make a slander out of me and a fool? Or just pick on me-
 '''Clyde:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Or just to pick on-
 '''Clyde:''' No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants.
 '''Troll:''' [[Virginia is for Virgins]]!
 '''Other Troll:''' Our goal is that you are a virgin, foreva!
 '''Chris:''' I ask you, why do y'all have to pick on me like this?
 '''Clyde:''' You don't care about women. That is why.
 '''Chris:''' [''talking over Clyde's second sentence''] I do care about women.
 '''Troll:''' And you are a disgusting pig.
 '''Clyde:''' [''at the same time as troll''] Then why are there females in our operation against you?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause; sigh''] I know y'all are doin'--I know y'all are doin' it--or have been doin' this just for the laughs against me.
 '''Troll:''' LAUGHS?!
 '''Chris:''' But don't y'all have to--
 '''Troll:''' This is far more than laughs, Chris-Chan.
 '''Other Troll:''' This is serious.
 '''Troll:''' [''pause''] You are a foul, stinky pig that must be eradicated from this Earth.
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, he must not be eradicated. He must be made an example of, of a horrible man, destined to never, ever, have a wife, or even girlfriends.
 '''Chris:''' {{RageQuote|SHUT. UP!}} Why do you have to pick on me like this? You don't need to do this! Don't you all have lives of your own? Can't you go find your own sweethearts to do with? I'm not even--
 '''Clyde:''' Why do you think this whole operation matters, Chris? Why do you think a sweetheart will solve everything?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Troll:''' We have lots to talk-
 '''Chris:''' Look, I care--
 '''Troll:''' We must protect the women from you.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I care about the women for their own personalities.
 '''Troll:''' No you don't!
 '''Chris:''' Yes I do!
 '''Troll:''' LIES.
 '''Other Troll:''' Bullshit.
 '''Third Troll:''' Lies! You don't resp-[''is cut off'']
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I DO respect respect women.
 [''People talk over each other'']
 '''Chris:''' I CARE ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES, you bastards!
 '''Clyde:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' I ca--I care about their personalities. I care about them--about how they feel. I care about--everything about them. They-
 '''Female Troll:''' Chris, you don't respect them. You only respect their [[China|cunts]].
 '''Chris:''' [''pause; sigh''] What?
 '''Troll:''' You gotta respect the ladies, man.
 '''Chris:''' I DO respect the ladies!
 '''Clyde:''' No you don't. Prove it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, how do ya want me to prove it?
 '''Clyde:''' Exactly, you can't!
 '''Chris:''' I ''can'' prove it, I'm just not sure how- how do you want me to prove that I respect the women that I--like I do?
 '''Troll:''' Because you don't. You don't know how. You [''slams something''] can't.
 '''Chris:''' I can prove it. Now what do you want me to do to prove myself?
 '''Clyde:''' You have to figure that one out on your own. Otherwise, if we tell you, then, we've already given you the answer! Nobody tell him!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Jesus Christ. [''pause'']
 '''Clyde:''' Julie has ruined this. Why did you have to go for the TRUE and HONEST love--we had [[Sarah May]] distract you from her, but no, she failed. [''pause''] But it's not gonna be a problem soon.
 '''Chris:''' You leave, you leave Julie alone!
 '''Clyde:''' No. [''Troll makes buzzer sound''] I need to protect her, from you. I'd rather have her marry me.
 '''Chris:''' Look, Clyde, we've already--look, Clyde, I was--I listened to you. And I've been thinking about the job situation. I have--
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I don't care about any of that anymore. Ever since you said you hate the Chinese to her, to Julie...
 '''Chris:''' Wait, wait a minute, what?
 '''Troll:''' Chris--
 '''Other Troll:''' I LOVE NIPPON.
 '''Clyde:''' You said it yourself, don't deny it! You hate the Chinese. You said that yourself. You made a mockery--
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupts''] I NEVER SAID THAT! I never said I hated the Chinese!
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, you totally said that, dawg.
 '''Clyde:''' Don't try to lie--
 '''Chris:''' I never said that!
 '''Clyde:''' I heard your computer. I've been listening to you. Don't you dare lie to me!
 '''Chris:''' I don't even remember saying anything like that.
 '''Female Troll''': We all remember.
 '''Indian Troll''': I remember.
 '''Clyde:''' [''unintelligible''] you pig, it was something [''unintelligible''] to Julie, you said something like "Ohhh, me so Chinese" and then Julie said something like "So was that Chinese or Japanese?" and you said "Who cares? They all speak the same!" ''Don't you remember?''
 '''Trolls''': Yes, yeah, yes.
 '''Chris:''' Okay okay, I'm sorry I said that.
 '''Clyde:''' No you aren't!
[''cries of protest from trolls'']
 '''Clyde:''' ...but then you say you hate the Chinese. How is that not racist?
[''more cries'']
 '''Chris:''' But look, look, I respect the Chinese.
[''lots of people talking at once'']
 '''Chris:''' I WAS TRYING TO MAKE JULIE SMILE!
 '''Clyde:''' ...you say that with the Chinese.
 '''Troll''': By being hateful?
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to make Julie smile by making her laugh.
 '''Troll''': Julie is an idiot.
 '''Clyde:''' That is horrible, Chris. This is why you are--this is why no one should ever be with you, ever.
 '''Troll''': DESTINED TO VIRGINTUDE FOREVER!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Will you all--will y'all just leave me alone-leave her alone?
 '''Female Troll''': No.
 '''Clyde:''' No. We must convince her that you are the most despicable man. She's a little naïve, but we'll turn her.
 '''Troll''': We do.
 '''Chris:''' Leave her alone!
 '''Clyde:''' We're not leaving her alone. This is for her own good.
 '''Female Troll''': We're trying to help her, Chris, don't you see?
 '''Chris:''' No! [''stress sigh'']
 '''Troll''': Again, be a man and put some fucking bass into your voice, you pig!
 '''Chris:''' What?!
 '''Clyde:''' You sound like a little girl, how is that manly in any way?
 '''Chris:''' Y'all are making me very nervous right now.
 '''Troll''': How are we making you nervous?
 '''Chris:''' Y'all are ticking--y'all are fuckin' and ticking me--y'all are fucking pissing me OFF right now.
 [''troll laughs'']
 '''Clyde:''' Look, it's not you who should be pissed at us, it's we who are pissed at you. You are a despicable human being.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I was-Julie asked me to send her that video, alright?

===Part 2===
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Christian Weston Chandler in: Rise of the Miscreants (Part 2 of 2)
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|1VaxdAa87Bo}}
| Stardate = 23 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Clyde]], [[Miscreants]]
}} </center>

 '''Clyde:''' I don't care about that video, what makes you think I care about that video?
 '''Chris:''' She cared about me and I cared about her very much! I wouldn't have gone to so much trouble to make my family believe that she was real. I wouldn't have gone through so much trouble to find-to try to find [[Molvanîa]] on the map!
 '''Troll''': Who cares?
 '''Clyde:''' That doesn't mean you care about her, you just want her for sex!
 '''Chris:''' NO! I care about Julie for who she is!
 '''Trolls''':[''unintelligible'']
 '''Chris:''' I want Julie for her!
 '''Troll''': Yes, her [[china]]. You sick fucking pig.
 '''Chris:''' ''No'', for her ''personality'' and the way she cares about me very much.
 '''Troll''': What personality? You don't know anything about her personality!
 '''Chris:''' She is a very sweet woman!
 '''Troll''': You haven't even met her in real life.
 '''Chris:''' Maybe not yet, but I'm going-I'm going to.
 '''Clyde:''' It'll be too late.
 '''Chris:''' You leave her alone!
 '''Clyde:''' We're not going to leave her alone until she's safe, with us.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] What...?
 '''Clyde:''' What are you going to do, get your [[fanbase]] on us? Your fanbase that doesn't exist?
 '''Troll''': Chris, I have something to tell you. We are the fanbase.
 '''Troll''': Yes, all of them!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Trolls''': RA RI RU RE RO!
 '''Clyde:''' RA RI RU RE RO!
 '''Clyde:''' Look, you can make a video on YouTube, trying to out the Miscreants. You can say all that you want about Clyde, how much you hate him, but it's not going to do a thing. But I dare you, do it. Stand up for yourself, stand up for Julie.
 '''Chris:''' Clyde, I'm standing up for myself bruf-by listening to you bastards.
 '''Trolls''': [''laughter'']
 '''Clyde:''' You just listen and take it like the bitch you are. You don't do any action. Never!
 '''Chris:''' I DO ACTION! I done a lot more than any of you-any of you- [''cut off'']
 '''Troll''': Is that right?
 '''Female Troll''': You don't even know.
 '''Chris:''' Why do you all have to mean so much disrespect against me?
 '''Clyde:''' It's not disrespect for you... [''too much talking'']
 '''Chris:''' I am a respectable human being!
 '''Trolls''': No you're not!
 '''Arjen''': You're a fucking scuzzbucket, you stupid fag! What the fuck are you doing here right now Chris, what the hell?
 '''Indian Troll''': Arjen, settle down!
 '''Arjen''': I've been waiting for this for a long time.
 '''Clyde:''' Do you know why we despise you so much? It's because you're a horrible human being who's only existing in this world just for sex. That's why.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Arjen''': [[A-Logging|Hang yourself Chris, kill yourself for us!]]
 '''Clyde:''' No, we don't want him to do that. No, no, no, no.
 '''Jack Thaddeus:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down.
 '''Trolls''': [''cries of protest'']
 '''Chris:''' I've got my [[Aunt Corrina]]'s death to worry about and her funeral tomorrow [''cut off'']
 '''Trolls''': You don't care! We don't care!
 '''Chris:''' You just... fuck off!
 [''unintelligible, trolls talking over one another'']
 '''Female Troll:''' He left!
 '''Clyde:''' Goddammit, shut up [''unintelligible'']!
 '''Jack:''' Arjen, you're fucking abusing him.
 '''Troll:''' Arjen! You just went overboard.
 '''Jack:''' Goddamn! I mean we're basically just taunting him, we weren't actually, like-- [''unintelligible, more talking over one another'']
 '''Trolls:''' Don't worry, he'll be back.
 '''Trolls:''' [''unintelligible, more talking over one another''] We're the only fans you have.
 '''Clyde:''' Don't worry, Chris will come back when he realizes Julie's in danger.
 '''Troll:''' No he won't.
 '''Trolls:''' Yes, what we should do is have like, quote Julie unquote be like: 'Oh my brother's like with the miscreants and now they're holding me hostage like my brother's
 '''Female Troll:''' [''Over other troll''] Hey, it's push to talk.
 '''Trolls:''' ...Turn me into [''unintelligible; the [[Metal Gear]] "!" sound can be heard in the background.'']
 '''Trolls:''' [''unintelligible, more talking over one another'']
 '''Troll:''' No, no, I mean like have Julie, have Julie send, Julie's brother's with the miscreants, hold Julie hostage, he's like, you know what, I'm sorry to your sister but, I'm going to take you in, I'm going to take you to Clyde. Listen, I have to do this for your sake, I have to take you to Clyde. Put in a few message for Chris.
 [''audio cuts'']
 '''Troll:''' That doesn't sound
 [''audio cuts'']
 '''Troll:''' RA RI RU RE RO!
 '''Trolls:''' [''unintelligible''] We'll see what happens.

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]|}}

==Links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBdFhlRzVPZlNFZE0 Download]

{{JulieSaga}}
{{FanChats}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mumble 09}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 9.5

2026-03-14T23:56:56Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Mumble 9.5''' is the continuation of the [[Mumble 9|ninth]] [[Mumble]] chat involving [[Chris]], held on 23 [[February 2009]].

In this chat, [[Clyde Cash]] and [[the Miscreants]] accuse Chris for many things, such as not caring for his [[Aunt Corrina]]'s death, [[List of Chris's games|wasting money on video games]], and being a terrible son to [[Bob Chandler|his father]].

==Summary==
After [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen]] threw [[death threats]] against him in the last chat and prompted him to leave, Chris rejoins the chat with Arjen presumably kicked. Clyde and the Miscreants again bombard Chris with accusations that he doesn't actually care about the death of his Aunt Corrina, but is more sad that a funeral is ruining his birthday. The trolls again accuse Chris of blowing money on [[vidya]] (with Clyde leveling the accusation that Chris and his family have spent more than $20,000 on games). Chris, being Chris, offers little of substance in response.

Chris also aggressively defends that he's a good son to Bob when the topic comes up, claiming that "..they spent a lot of money on me!", which says a [[Chris and Money|lot]] about Chris' character. Clyde's words about Chris not being a good son to Bob also come to pass years later, as Chris chose to [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|make blackmail videos]] instead of caring for his dying dad, and opted to update his [[Attraction Sign]] on [[Facebook]] on the same day his father died, and to this day, has mentioned nothing about him, save for [[Facebook#An_Open_Note|siccing his ghost on his trolls]]. Compare this to the [[Patti_Chandler#Eulogy_for_Patti.2C_as_written_by_Chris|gushing tribute he gave to his ''dog.'']]

In one of the more famous Mumble moments, Chris admits that he may be "[[Autism|retarded]]" and that his mind doesn't think so quickly...making it obvious why he goes out of his way to mock "[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 6|slow-in-the-minds]]." Also, Chris once again swears up and down that he has been giving Clyde's suggestions to get a job a "lot of thought". To date, Chris has still not gotten a job, making this another blatant lie.

Chris eventually storms out of the chat after being told he is afraid to go outside, and that leaving his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] for a change is the only way to get the Miscreants to leave him alone.

===Timelines===
(00:00)
* The chat begins in the middle of a conversation between Clyde and Chris. The latter left the chat not too long ago, but eventually came back.
* Clyde says Chris has improved nothing in his life.
(00:30)
* Chris says he has been thinking "very hard" about [[Wendy's|getting a job]], going to [[Julie]], and convincing [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] that Julie is real.
(01:00)
* Chris feels it is significant he is ready to spend "fifty to a hundred" dollars to go see Julie.
(02:00)
* Chris says the trolls do not realize how much stress he has because he must go to a funeral for his [[Aunt Corrina]] and that it is "happening on his birthday of all days."
* Clyde says Chris is more sad about his birthday than Aunt Corrina.
* Chris cries hard over Aunt Corrina dying
(03:00)
* Chris's blubbering suddenly improves and stops, indicating that it's likely bogus.
* Clyde tells trolls to let Chris cry.
(03:30)
* Chris says he is "possibly retarded," since his mind doesn't think so swift.
* Chris says he often doesn't even give thought to the actions he does.
(04:00)
* Hearing about the fire "made Chris so sad" and he "cried his heart out."
(05:00)
* Chris says love is like "standing on top of a mountain" and having "good wind" blow through your hair.
* People are to get to know each other through "pleasant conversation" and it is not all about the "bonus round."
(06:30)
* Chris says women should get to know men "[[gay|from the inside]]."
* Chris felt "true honest respect" from Julie, [[Blanca]], [[Sarah May]], [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]].
(08:00)
* Clyde says if he knew what true love was, Chris would know they were trolls. Chris says "trolls or not, I still care about them very much."
(08:30)
* Chris has got "some good memories" of those women.
(09:30)
* Chris claims he has learned from his mistakes and learned how to sort the "true from the false."
(10:30)
*Chris angrily responds to a question about Megan.
(11:00)
*Clyde asks whether Chris realizes why Megan left. After a pause, Chris says it is because he "got into her personal space" and "violated her drawing."
(12:00)
* Chris says he feels the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|sexy drawing]] and sexy websites are "appropriate" and says "the eyes are censored and you can't recognize Megan."
(13:30)
* The trolls insult Chris and tell him they haven't slandered him- they've only posted his words.
* Chris claims he has been misinterpreted and has gone through "so many revolutions and personal upgrades for the better."
(14:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants have estimated Chris has spent over [[list of Chris's games|$20,000 on video games in his life]].
(15:30)
* Chris blames the ED page for him not getting a job.
(16:00)
* Clyde attacks Chris for misspending his tugboat. Chris says he spends his money by paying the bills, his rent, and credit cards.
(16:30)
* The trolls say there is no way Chris will ever support a family.
* Clyde accuses Chris of being $2000 behind in credit card debt.
(17:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants can't be stopped, and Chris stops answering.
(19:00)
* Chris says he goes outside every day, but changes the subject.
* Chris says [[Max]] has said to pass on the message that Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes.
(19:30)
* Chris says '''"most everything I tell you is the truth."'''
(20:00)
* Chris angrily yells that he did not have the money or support to go see Miyamoto.
(20:30)
* Chris says he went out with Bob to get [[McDonald's|breakfast]], since Bob likes the company.
* Chris reads comic strips in newspapers.
(21:00)
* Clyde says Bob wants someone intelligent to talk to, but all he has is Chris.
* The trolls say Chris is a bad son, and his parents have spent a lot of money on him.
(21:30)
* The trolls say Chris should make his own decisions and not just do everything Bob and Barb want.
(22:00)
* Chris says he is "more likely to stick to a routine."
* Clyde says Chris will just keep going downhill.
* Chris's only response is to tell the trolls to "shut up," and he leaves the chat.
* The trolls discuss the next chance to troll Chris and what BlueSpike should do next.

==Transcript==
{{quote|Ahhh, Jesus Christ.|Chris, Once again showing us his devout Christian ways}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Chris Chan Mumble - Part 9.5 (go to 02:19:23)
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|OuJ2uw4X7eY}}
| Stardate = 23 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Clyde]], [[Miscreants]]
}} </center>

'''Clyde''': [''audio cuts in mid-sentence''] We've given you so many chances to improve yourself. I've tried to help you, but you never listen. [''long pause''] 
'''Chris''': [''[[sigh]]''] Clyde, could you repeat the question? I didn't have my headphones on. 
'''Clyde''': I've been trying to help you this entire time, but we've grown tired of you doing ''nothing''. 
'''Chris''': I ''have'' been doing something. 
'''Clyde''': What have you done? 
'''Chris''': I have been making plans. I have been thinking very hard about getting a job and about going to Julie and convincing my family that she is, that she is a real woman. [''sigh''] I'm probably, I'm not lying, spending about $50-100 of my own money just to try, just to try go up and visit her. 
'''Clyde''': How much money? 
'''Chris''': $50 to $100. 
'''Clyde''': That's not a lot. You know that, right? That's chump change in today's society. A long time ago one of our former, former [''inaudible''] Vivian [''inaudible''] but anyway she tried to help you, but you didn't listen. 
'''Chris''': Well, look, I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry about, look,I'm sorry about a lot of my past mistakes about not listening to everyone, okay? but I've been under a lot of [[stress]]. 
'''Clyde''': What is this stress? You always cite stress. 
'''Chris''': Stress, STRESS, Stress of the mean people that ha— has give me such bad mark, uh, that have made a bad name and such. 
'''Troll 1''': Chris you don't know what stress is, you don't have a job you, don't go— 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] I have a lot of stress in my life, [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing for Sympathy|my Aunt Corina just died and I have to go to her funeral and I'm going to be very sad that day and the funeral is happening on my birthday of all days.]] 
'''Clyde''': Shouldn't you be more sad about her than your birthday? 
'''Chris''': I am very upset about my Aunt Corina, she was a very sweet woman. 
'''Clyde''': But you seem to be complain about it being on your birthday. 
'''Chris''': Look, stop talking about that, OK? I love my [''Clyde butts in with a half formed sentence''] I feel sympathy for my Aunt Corina. She smoked and when she went to the hospital she died at the age of 75, her her, her cancer deteriorated her left lung and her liver and her brain. 
[''both Clyde and Chris try to speak''] 
'''Clyde''': Go ahead, sure, why not 
'''Chris''': And they kept her alive as long as they could, they could, till she breathed...her last breath—[''pulls out an Academy-Award-winning performance of tears, bawling all over the place. The trolls can be heard slightly chuckling in the background. He then says, between sobs and with a heavy heart''] We knew that she was dying [''Chris is too emotional here to make out what he is saying''] and that we were able to say we loved her one last time, over the phone. [''sob''] 
'''Clyde''': Well, they did their best. 
[''Trolls mock and imitate Chris''] 
'''Troll 2''': This is DELICIOUS! 
'''Clyde''': Silence, let him cry, let him cry. [''inaudible''] but this does not excuse for all your other past actions. 
[''Chris has made a miraculous mental recovery from his emotional state''] 
'''Chris''': [''loud sigh''] Look, I'm unfit. I'm possibly retarded, OK? My mind [[Slow-in-the-minds|doesn't think so swift]]. I- I- uh, I'm likely even to make mistakes on the fly without realizing it. Sometimes I don't even give thought to something I've said [''inaudible''] but I can give a lot of before when I move from pe- uh, move from, uh, move from [[Panda]] to [[Julie]], because I though- I thought she had died in that fire. I was I uh my heart was petri- uh about that possibility after I about that fire in Austra- uh post, It made me so sad. [''sobs creep back into Chris's voice''] 
'''Clyde''': Now this I can't believe. I believe your Aunt Corina and I'm sorry for your loss but about Panda, NO! 
'''Chris''': I cried my heart out. 
'''Clyde''': And then you just moved on, just like that. 
'''Chris''': NO! I uh, no, I did not move on just like that. 
'''Clyde''': But you claimed she was your love, your love. You don't know what love feels like, Chris. 
'''Chris''': I do know what love feels like. 
'''Clyde''': What does it feel like then Chris? Can you describe it? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's... uh [''sigh''] it's indescribable, it's a priceless feeling, it's like you know you feel most elated, it's like you're standing on top of a mountain with the wind blowing through your hair and it's a good wind. It's just, uh, love feels so good. True love feels so good, especially when it, uh, comes between two people who have known each other for a long while and have got to know each other through pleasant conversation. And, uh, you know, [[Hanky-panky|the bonus rounds]] are there too. I mean, I'll admit that, but what I enjoy most are the pleasant conversations and learning about the kind, sweet… uh, kind, sweet women that they are [''sigh''] and that they care me and respect me very much and it just makes me feel so much better to know that I'm respected by the women. Because I felt, because it's like I don't get a lot of respect from people, from bad people like y'all being mean like right now. And this is just [''tears welling and emotion rising''] is making me want to cry. 
'''Clyde''': You said the women. Are you talking about a singular person or all women? 
[''once again, Chris has composed himself amazingly well''] 
'''Chris''': No, no I said women, women. 
'''Clyde''': You mean you want to be respected by everyone? All the women. You want to love them all? 
'''Chris''': No 
'''Clyde''': Or is it down to one person? 
'''Chris''': No, uh, wait. Now you're twisting my words around 
'''Clyde''': I'm just saying whatever you say. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look I could uh, its a, look when I talk about the respect from a woman I'm talking about [[honest]] respect like after she's got to know me from the inside like, uh, most women should get to know their man, before they go have a relationship with them or or whatever. And if [[Julie]] just, you know between [[Blanca]] and [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]], [[Sarah May]] and Julie. I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them. And there's noth- you know uh you know I'm sorry to have forgot to have mentioned Sarah May when I mentioned Julie [''inaudible''] when I was asked a question about naming friends. I'll admit I'll admit I was wrong. I was wrong I was wrong and I thank Julie very I mean Sarah Mayver, damn it, I did it again. I got mixed up. You, Y'all mixed it up when you mixed up my emotions because I'm upset all this. Anyways anyways Aunt then got to the hospital and I felt so sorry for- 
'''Clyde''': No need, no need for lies to keep up the false stories. They are all trolls. They are all trolls. Chris have I not got this through your head. Panda is sleeping right now if you could be more quiet. Sarah May is perfectly fine. Blanca, Blanca well I don't know where she's off to, the other two people behind Blanca I don't know and Sarah Jackson is still alive. They are all trolls, Chris. It's because you don't know what true love is. 
'''Chris''': I know what true love is. 
'''Clyde''': If you knew what true love was, then you would realize that they were trolls. 
'''Troll 7''': Yep. 
'''Chris''': Look, trolls, look, trollers or not I still cared about them very much. 
'''Clyde''': What? 
'''Chris''': Trollers or not, I still cared about them very much. 
'''Troll 3''': you're just bullshitting. 
'''Chris''': And I- and I- I got so- I got so many good memories of them. Some bad sure and some even bad but good 
'''Female troll''': Chris, all those memories are false. 
'''Troll 2''': You deluded pig. 
[''two people speak at once''] 
'''Troll 1''': Every scenario, all us. 
'''Clyde''': We were behind it all. 
'''Chris''': Look, I know y'all, I know y'all are feeding me lies right now. 
[''huge reaction to this, everyone talks over each other''] 
'''Clyde''': You still believe that they were not trolling, this is the thing. Really? Even after Blanca destroyed your medallion, after Panda suddenly ''mysteriously'' disappeared when she doesn't even live in that part of Australia, well, not any more she doesn't, but anyway. You still believe it. 
'''Troll 4''': You are stupid, Chris. You do not learn from your mistakes. 
'''Chris''': Look [''sigh''] I do learn from my- I have learnt from my mistakes. 
[''several people speak''] 
'''Chris''': I have learnt to take so many bullets and lies that were aimed directly at me, I learnt to take them like uh, like the breeze of the wind. Just let them fly by. let them fly by. I have learnt to sort the truth from the false. Panada true, definite true, definitely comes from the woman, from the people themselves. 
'''Clyde''': Why would you see through that one [''inaudible''] Julie after Sarah May and Panda. Urgh, I'm disgusted by that. But we'll make sure she never meets you. 
'''Troll 5''': Anyway 
'''Chris''': Look, y'all, are just, look y'all are just trying to make me feel bad because I have- because I have been delayed- because I was delayed in drawing comics as often as I should be 
[''eruption of sarcastic "oh yeah"s''] 
'''Troll 2''': You idiot, this isn't about the comics 
'''Troll 6''': How's [[Megan]] by the way? 
'''Chris''': I DON'T KNOW, I haven't seen her in a long time. 
'''Troll 6''': I wonder why 
'''Clyde''': Silence, silence, OK, I want to ask you one last thing, well not one last thing but a useful thing. Why do you think Megan left you? Can you think why now? I think I've asked you this before. 
'''Chris''': I can only think because I got too much in her personal space and I violate her with [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|the drawing]]. 
'''Clyde''': That was probably your only chance for true happiness and you screwed that up, and you're still doing it time and time again. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, that drawing's fucked up, yo. 
'''Clyde''': And you still manage to post it up on your website. Why? 
'''Chris''': I don't... [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': Clyde's correct, Chris. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's a sexy drawing and it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|a sexy website]] and I thought it was appropriate. 
[''several people respond''] 
'''Chris''': Besides, in the drawing the eyes are censored out, it's not like you can recognize the woman. 
'''Clyde''': [[Censorship]] does nothing once you've admitted it, Chris. 
[''trolls agree with Clyde's sentiment''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': And besides, we thought that was your [[sister]] for the longest time. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] [''whispering''] Jesus, Jesus. 
'''Troll 8''': I thought that was a better theory, actually. 
'''Chris''': Ahhh Jesus Christ. 
'''Troll 6''': Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, Chris? 
'''Chris''': Maybe not but y'all didn't have to twist my words round on everything make up all these dang stupid false slanderous theories and whatnot. 
'''Troll 7''': Dude, yo, that's bullshit. 
[''trolls disagree with Chris's sentiment''] 
'''Troll 1''': We're just going off what you've told us. 
'''Troll 8''': Exactly. 
'''Clyde''': [''Unclear''] What did you expect would happen? 
'''Troll 2''': You lowlife. I hope you bleed in slanderous Hell. 
'''Troll 1''': We've never slandered anyone. We just take what you've said and post it for people's interpretations. 
'''Chris''': That's my point, you've misinterpreted me. 
'''Clyde''': Well, you're going to have to correct yourself one day, you have to [''inaudible''] 
'''Chris''': I have been correcting myself, every day from the lessons I've learned and the mistakes I've realized I've made. 
'''Troll 8''': Really? 
'''Chris''': I've gone through so many self-revelations and uh,and uh,and personal upgrades for the better. 
'''Troll 7''': Like yo [[PSP]]. 
[''trolls laugh''] 
'''Chris''': Forget about the friggin' games systems. 
'''Clyde''': Surprising from a man who spends over a thousand dollars on it. You see, Chris, you have a problem. You need to stop buying video games, you need to sell them all. They're no good, they're not helping you 
'''Troll 1''': It's only when you lose everything that you're free to do anything. 
'''Troll 8''': The man speaks the truth. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Clyde''': You have, We have estimated you have over twenty thousand U.S. dollars worth of video games, all at some points of your life. Why would you spend so much? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well I started from childhood, I was brought up, I was brought up with video games. I started with a [[Commodore 64]], when it was brand new. Just saying. 
'''Troll''': Chris, that is not a valid excuse. 
'''Chris''': It's the truth. 
'''Troll''': That doesn't make it valid. 
'''Clyde''': Chris let me ask you this. How many of the games that you've owned in your lifetime have you actually completed? 
'''Chris''': I have beaten the vast majority of them. I have beat most every [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game I own. 
'''Clyde''': If you have that much free time on your hands, maybe you should get a job. 
'''Chris''': Hey you know what, for one thing I would get a job, but you know they would punch my name on the Internet, they would find that damn ED page and then- 
[''trolls all speak''] 
'''Clyde''': OK OK, yes you're right, you're right. We have slandered you, well we haven't slandered you. It's only the truth, the truth. I had to say "slandered" because you say that so much, but anyay. Ok let's say you just did have your own eight hundred dollar uhh, whatever you call it, "[[tugboat]]", which is a stupid name. It's a government check. You have your eight hundred dollars to spend and how do you spend that? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I got uh, I pay my, I pay my, I pay my family's bills, I give them a monthly rent, I pay my credit card bills 
'''Clyde''': But then you still [''inaudible'']. 
'''Troll 1''': You're right, Chris probably could not get a job but he can not also support himself on his tugboat. So [''loud typing noise''] he can't support his family anyway. Too bad. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, I can hear that typing, what's with that? 
'''Clyde''': I know that you've revealed that to date you have credit card debts, you're already two thousand dollars behind. How do you expect to raise a family? How do you expect to help Julie? 
'''Chris''': Uhh... [''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 5''': Ignoring the question, I see. 
'''Chris''': No. 
'''Clyde''': Look, if you go onto your [[YouTube]], beg your fans to bring down us [[the Miscreants]], but you know, your combined powers can not stop us. Nothing can stop us. 
'''Troll 8''': Every time we get knocked down we'll get right back up again. 
'''Troll 10''': And you'll never keep us down. 
'''Troll 11''': And everything that you have typed is through no one's fault but your own. You have, You have to reap what you have sown, Chris. 
'''Troll 1''': the best thing you can do is you know, go back out into the real world with your [[sign]], you know. Wouldn't that be just like old days? You wouldn't have the Internet trolls all over you. You just go outside 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
[''rapid fire error noise''] 
[''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 1''': What are you, afraid of the sun? 
[''trolls all talk at once''] 
'''Chris''': I am not, I am not afraid 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] then why have you not, you know, uhhh I don't know. When's the last time you've been outside Chris? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I've been outside, I go outside every day. 
'''Clyde''': To do what, exactly? [''phone ringing''] 
'''Chris''': I enjoy the air, anyway look, [[Max]] wants me to tell you that uhh, Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes 
''Troll'': [''unclear''] 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] I mean, "enjoy the air"? I doubt it. I honestly think you're lying, Chris, again? 
[''more loud typing''] 
'''Chris''': I am not lying to you! Ev- most everything I tell you is the truth and if I make uh I if I make a certain, if I say the wrong things its because I didn't know better at the time. 
'''Clyde''': What do you mean you don't know better? You don't know what the truth and what the uh, false is? 
'''Troll 5''': You can't tell right from wrong? 
'''Troll 8''': You lied to everyone when you said you were going to [''inaudible''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Because they, because, because they were, because they were big-time theories and my families wouldn't support me, I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO [[Miyamoto Saga|MAKE A TRIP]] 
'''Troll 8''': So why lie to us? 
'''Troll 12''': My, my, aren't we a suffering Joe? 
'''Troll 8''': Stuttering Stanley, stuttering Stanley. 
'''Clyde''': OK, we don't need stupid insults, we need real insults, you know. I mean Chris, again, last time you've been outside. Detail it for us. Don't just say you just went out for air, that's a lie. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I went out with [[Bob|my father]] this morning for one thing, to go get, to go get breakfast. 
'''Clyde''': Where? I'd like to know. 
'''Chris''': And plus, and plus, plus he likes the company, he takes the newspaer with him. I read the comics and he reads evry- uh he reads the rest. 
'''Troll 7''': [''laughs''] comics 
'''Clyde''': You know I feel kind of bad for your father. All he wants is someone you know, intelligent to talk with but all he has is you. 
'''Chris''': He has [[Barb|my mother too]]. 
'''Clyde''': Well that to but someone of a male camaraderie, someone who can [''inaudible'']. You're not a very good son I take it. 
'''Chris''': I AM A GOOD SON and they have raised me very hard and they have spent a lot of money on me and I love them very much and appreciate them very much for that. 
'''Troll 13''': Almost too much. You seem to value their input more than you actually should. You are 26 years old, you are technically an adult but uhh- 
'''Chris''': Yeah but, it's not like, it's not like uhh. Look I have emotions and feelings and I uh I'm I'm more likely to [[Autism|stick to a routine]] and in order for me to make a big change I had to end up giving it a lot of thought first. 
'''Clyde''': Look Chris, this is the sad sad truth. You are going to grow up and die alone. I'm sorry to tell you this. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look leave me, just just shut up and leave me alone, leave me alone. 
'''Clyde''': We tried to help y- 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Leave my [[Love Quest|love life]] alone. 
'''Clyde''': Whatever. 
[''Chris seems to be reduced to tears and leaves, trolls all speak'']
 
'''Troll A''': Oh.
 
'''Troll B''': Muahahahaha.
 
'''Troll C''': [''giggling''] What the fuck?
 
[''Multiple voices speak at once''.]
 
'''Troll B''': [''nonchalantly''] No—
 
'''Troll D''': Well, okay, we're not gonna strike it—
 
'''Troll D''': We actually got him to cry. We really got him—
 
'''Troll A''': Okay, BlueSpike...
 
'''Troll A''': Blue. Spike.
 
'''Troll B''': Oh. Wow [''elongated''].
 
'''Troll C''': [''unintelligible''] has to get him here again.
 
'''Troll A''': BlueSpike, you—basically you are not—every time Chris contacts you now, you should say [''unintelligible''] stuff, okay?
 
'''Troll A''': BlueSpike?
 
'''Troll B''': [''voice track plays over this voice''] He took your advice.
 
'''Troll B''': He's down now.
 
'''Troll A''': Yes.
 
'''Troll E''': No he's not.
 
'''Troll B''': Way down.
 
'''Troll D''': Guys, I think that he's stuck. He can't get out.
 
'''Troll E''': Who is?
 
'''Troll E''': Who's stuck?
 
'''Troll D''': No matter what we do, he's stuck in his house.
 
'''Troll D''': N-No, it do-it-it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He doesn't care.
 
'''Troll C''': Who doesn't care?
 
'''Troll B''': He doesn't care?
 
'''Troll D''': It's only faith in him, otherwise—
 
'''Troll B''': Okay.
 
'''High pitched troll''': Screw it!
 
'''Troll B''': I think some people, I'm probably gonna be the first to say it, but, uh...just eat
 
'''Troll D''': [''interrupting'']: I kinda think we went too f—
 
'''Troll B''': I've seen some like that. I've seen some like that eat bullshit.
 
'''Troll C''': We have to get BlueSpike here.
 
'''Troll D''': I just think we went too far. That was a little, I mean—
 
'''Troll D''': I can kind of, like—y'know, to bring him down to tears—
 
'''Troll B''': You heard what he said.
 
'''Troll B''': You say—
 
'''Troll D''': Yeah, I know what he said.
 
'''Troll A''': "I apologize for that and I apologize for the [''battle/debacle''?]."
 
'''Troll F''': And regret even less.
 
'''Troll B''': I can't even find that funny.
 
'''Troll C''': I have no regret.
 
[''Three voices speak at once''.]
 
'''Troll B''': Chris, you're [chained?]—
 
'''Troll F''': But his face of tears to your analogy was horrid.
 
'''Troll A''': I have no sympathy for him because he's a retard.
 
'''Troll A''': I—I—
 
'''Troll E''': Who knows? Who really knows?
 
'''Troll A''': I feel little sympathy for the lower beings.
 
'''Troll E''': I feel sympathy towards the parents.
 
'''Troll A''': Oh, I feel sympathy towards Bob—Bob should've killed himself.
 
'''Troll B''': Yeah.
 
'''Troll C''': I feel the worst sympathy towards his [dog?]
 
'''Troll A''': Yeah, what's he really trying to—'cause I like, I like—
 
[''end'']

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 9|Mumble Chat 9]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|}}

==Links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBOE9CZjBTQ3VlZzQ Download]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mumble 09.5}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Chris and stress

2026-03-14T06:45:27Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Stress sigh */

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]]<ref name="IRC"/>}}
{{Quote|I Really feel like I should be reeled into my Poke Ball and stored in the PC a while.|Chris after finding out that [[Rosechu]] had a [[pickle]] all along<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

After [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris soon learned he couldn't blame his shortcomings on his high-functioning [[autism]]. Rather than take matters into his own hands and improve himself, he began to use "stress" as an excuse. However, it's assumed that Chris is probably confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is, in fact, unhappy with his current situation. Given the intensely sheltered lifestyle his parents provided for him well into his twenties, it is highly unlikely Chris ever experienced any form of intense anxiety or pressure that would give him severe psychological and physical effects, apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[trolls|trolled]] and, in recent years, the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress". Since Chris tends to exaggerate everything, anything that makes him feel remotely uncomfortable is classified to him as a stressor.

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] and talked in a more meek voice. It is during these periods that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives. Chris often cites stress as the reason why he isn't inspired to work on the comics; precisely why ''inspiration'' is needed to make Sonic recolors have sex with each other and kill Chris's enemies is not apparent.

In [[August 2013]], Chris indicated through [[Facebook]] that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Chris and health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stressors==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category
! Examples
|-
| '''Identity'''
|
* His "mental block" of [[autism]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Having his identity [[Ian Brandon Anderson|questioned]]
* Being referred to with the [[Tomgirl Saga|incorrect pronouns]]<ref>[[BronyCon#Day 2]]</ref>
* His daily struggle against becoming homosexual ''(pre-2014)''
* Being called [[naïve]]
* Anything that autism isn't an excuse for
|-
| '''''Sonichu'' comic'''
|
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright issues]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[ProjectSNT|His characters being redesigned by a fan artist]]
|-
| '''Online presence'''
|
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* The existence of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Mailbag|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
|-
| '''Domestic life'''
|
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* Back when [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living in a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly okay)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref><ref name="IRC20081231"/>
|-
| '''Outside the house'''
|
*Anything requiring him to leave the [[Chris's house|house]]
* [[Chris and work|Getting a job]]
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe|places]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|he]] [[The End Games|frequents]]
* Being [[TooManyGames|banned from conventions]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_Attitude_at_the_GAMe_PLACe|Losing trading card game matches (including to children)]]
* [[Jail Saga|Going to jail]] for [[Affair With Mother|fucking his mom]]
|-
| '''Sweethearts'''
|
* [[Noviophobia|Taken women]] and the associated [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|infinitely-high boyfriend-factor]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* Being [[Friend zone|friend zoned]]
* [[Megan Schroeder|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>

|-
| '''Antagonists'''
|
* [[Clyde Cash]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Bullies<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|faculty]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* Having someone [[Liquid Chris|pretend to be him]]
* Seeing a [[MALE]], especially if he [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|has a girl with him]]
* [[Homos]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart]]'s [[Father Call|father]]
* Being called a child<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref><ref>[[28 October 2011]]</ref>
|-
| '''Other'''
|
* [[Pickle]]s
* [[Chris and death|Mortality]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* [[Father Call|Doses of]] [[LadyOfTheCosmo|reality]]
* [[Sega]] changing the color of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms to blue<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests]]</ref>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for
|-
|}

==Handling stress==
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] reset his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>
* Take medication<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>
* Wishing he were in another [[Dimensional Merge|dimension]]
* [[Spirit possession|Switching between souls]] of Magi-chan, Sonichu, or Mewtwo to escape conflicts

==Things that Chris does when stressed==
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* [[Biological clock|Crashes into slumber]]<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Homos|homophobic]]<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Chris and race|racist]]<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his [[Megan Schroeder|friends]] and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

===Stress sigh===
{{quote|Why do you sigh so much?|[[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref> and [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>}}

The '''stress sigh''' is [[Chris]]'s usual reaction to stress. Initially an unconscious coping mechanism, Chris has made habit of directing attention to it in an effort to gain sympathy. Chris has used it in conversation to discourage further unwanted scrutiny, or to express disapproval at having his desires deferred. The places where Chris would sigh while speaking in person are noted in all of his written communication with "*sigh*." He has also written it using italics - ''sigh''.<ref>[[The Place chats (August 2020)#Role-play coping]]</ref>

The term "stress sigh" is presumed to originate from [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]], due to the strong connection in Chris between sighing and stress. Chris refers to the stress sigh as only a "sigh," suggesting that to him the link between sighing and stress is implicit.

Chris sometimes makes a comparable noise, a short, chirpy "hmph," to express contentment and self-satisfaction, usually of a smug variety.

==References==
<references />
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}
{{Dimensions}}
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Chris and...]]

Honor roll

2026-03-13T22:56:07Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Misinfo|As of {{CURRENTYEAR}}, it is still unknown whether or not Chris really did make the honor roll.}}

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|[[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]]<ref>Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points of HONOR ROLL. Good!</ref>}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}

Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in [[Manchester High School|high school]] is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's [[Chris and...|past behavior]], [[Naive|obvious gullibility]], [[Chris and English|poor communication]] and [[Chris and his ego|self]]-[[Chris and reality|delusion]] cast doubt upon this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status whenever and wherever possible, as it is one of the most easily measurable accomplishments in his life.

In actuality, available information about his grades and behavior in the classroom demonstrates either that Chris was a student with a mixed track record at best or that he was poorly suited for mainstream public education at worst. [[Borb|His parents]] bugged the school county enough to keep him away from special education courses that may have better suited Chris's issues, and as such, it's likely that Chris benefitted from some kind of curve from some of his teachers.

==Where Chris has claimed honor roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*The earliest reference is in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], which begins a long pattern of Chris using the honor roll line to attract the ladies.
*In [[Sub-Episode 2]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just deliberately [[troll|trolled]] your [[heart level]] down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto emails|e-mails]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia autobiography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his [[autism]], and how he is apparently better than those with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]].
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris inserted the honor roll line in his early [[dating profiles]], including [[Match.com]], his [[PSN blogs]] bio (which he used as a dating profile), and his first [[OkCupid]] profile from [[February 2009]].
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself,<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Update: I am Still the Real Christian Weston Chandler Despite LIES AND SLANDER. Also, Some Fan Art]]</ref> while Solid Chris used it in one of their arguments over the phone.<ref>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref>
*Chris told [[Kacey Call 6|Kacey]] that he received a "star pin" for his "honor roll grades."
*Potential sweetheart [[Sydney Kirsch#Houston, we have liftoff!|Sydney Kirsch]] was informed that Chris was on honor roll as part of his standard biography.
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.
*As with all his potential sweethearts, Chris let [[Jackie E-mails 9|Jackie]] know that "Grade-Wise From Middle School, I was on Honor Roll ALL THE WAY."
*In [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking|reply]] to the comment of a former high school [[gal-pal]] that he had looked to his female friends for protection, Chris countered that he had been self-sufficient to the extent of making honor roll.
*In [[July 2014]], Chris hit back against false rumors about his grades by reminding his [[Facebook]] fans that he made honor roll. "If you want confirmation," he advised, "you may contact the Manchester High office and inquire."
*To defend himself against [[Colin Chat 1|Colin]]'s accusation that he was stupid, Chris stated that he made honor roll in both middle and high school.

==Truthfulness of the claim==
[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The white stole says Chris made the honor roll, but the [[Creepy stare|slack-jawed stare]] says [[Slow-in-the-minds|so much more.]]]]
[[File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris's D+ grade in English Class.]]

In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a stole that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. As of the 2013-14 school year, being listed on the Honor Roll for a given semester at Manchester High School only requires a 3.0 grade point average,<ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_fJESV_/14cd5010b650607b3745a49013852ec4/2012-13_student_handbook.pdf</ref> with no distinction made between harder classes and easier remedial course work (such as the English 12 class where Chris claims [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls]] got an A). The psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in [[2004]] noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. Often, even without remedial course work, it's not hard to get honor roll. Assuming 3.0 was a B or B-, getting enough help from his parents with homework might have made up for a C average on tests. In the first semester of 2013–14, 789 students at Manchester made either the Honor Roll or the more prestigious Distinguished Honor Roll,<ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_xaGXZ_/a4271ab7097cdab83745a49013852ec4/2013-2014_S1_Regular_Honor_Roll1.pdf</ref><ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_xaGYj_/1bb1298af5762f333745a49013852ec4/2013-2014_S1_Distinguished_Honor_Roll1.pdf</ref> about 40% of the total enrollment of about 1,800–2,000.<ref>https://p1pe.doe.virginia.gov/reportcard/report.do?division=21&schoolName=1531</ref> This may explain why Chris was [[Count Graduon|so upset]] at being awarded [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|''only'' a star pin for his grades]].

On the other hand, it is not completely out of the question to consider that Chris may have been able to get decent grades in school, even in harder courses. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]," he is enraged to receive an F in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also exclaims: ''"I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they had slipped considerably by mid-May.

Chris's basic cognitive functions appear to work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects, he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[Chris and electronics|computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his [[Chris and stress|laziness]], [[naïve|naïveté]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]], [[Chris and anger|temperament]] and [[Chris and sex|sexual frustration]] have led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto Saga offers an interesting example of this contrast. Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain; however, one would think that if he could deduce this, he should never have believed that [[Nintendo]] was interested in his [[Sonichu (character)|low-quality recolor]] in the first place.

One would think that all Chris would need to do to end the doubts of his alleged intelligence would be to post his grades. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19#We cannot see Chris's report cards|Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers were said to be locked away beyond his reach. This could have meant a number of things. They could have been buried under the hoard, he might have been lying about their existence, or he might have just been too lazy to get up and find them. Since the [[2014 house fire|house fire]] and the disorganization of the year-long [[Rental House|relocation]] in 2014, the documents, if they exist at all, are undoubtedly even less likely to ever be disinterred.

Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], and that interested parties should contact the high school directly. However, [[Trolls|those]] who might be interested in accessing the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should note that the school district website states otherwise.<ref>http://mychesterfieldschools.com/community/alumni/transcripts/</ref>

[[Bob Chandler|Bob]] stated in a [[Bob Chandler's call with The P Capsaicins|call]] with [[ThePCAssassins]] that Chris did not, in fact, make the honor roll.<ref>11:06: "I was just wondering if [Chris] was on the honor roll, or if he made it." "No, but he was in special education most of the time."</ref> It is possible that Bob either misunderstood their question, or simply forgot about it at his old age. Also casting serious aspersions on his purported honor roll status is the fact that, in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], Chris nonchalantly documented that he slept through much of his class time – in twelfth grade. When Chris reiterated on [[July 2014 Facebook Posts#Honor Roll|Facebook]] in [[July 2014]] that he was honor roll, a friend who claimed to be a fellow alumnus challenged, "How's that possible when you barely passed Mrs. Dorazio's class? Remember? I was in that class with you... you don't have to lie to be cool." Chris's report card for Mrs. Dorazio's class had been leaked the previous month, however (see below), so the friend's comments should be taken with a grain of salt.

===June 2014 leaks===
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}
In June of 2014, information was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] about Chris's high school days. These documents revealed that, despite one or more teachers giving him high marks that he indisputably did not deserve (possibly out of pity, their own incompetence, or both), Chris got a D+ (72%) in English for the spring 1999 semester, and got low scores in at least two other classes. Extrapolating backwards from his English report card, however, his grade for fall 1998 was a relatively decent 84%, probably a B. Suffice to say, this, plus the content of the actual documents, cast yet more doubt on Chris's claimed honor roll status.

==Notes and references==
{{DeadLinks}}
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and mathematics]]
*[[Manchester High School]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[Slow-in-the-minds]]

{{HighSchoolSaga}}
{{CWC-isms}}
{{Education}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

Smashing

2026-03-13T04:49:38Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Honest}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Wise|the Christine Doll was bugged by Nazis.}}

'''Smashing''' is a video Chris uploaded on 16 [[January 2018]], in which he destroys the [[Christine Doll]] after the [[Idea Guys]] manipulated him into thinking it was bugged by Nazis.<ref>[[Misc Idea Guy chats#Chat with Kiwi Farms member 3]]</ref>

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Smashing
| ytid = bMIUtSqWWR4
| stardate = 16 [[January 2018]]
| subject = {{Politics|text}}, {{Power|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[January 2018 Paid Video Requests#It Ain't My Fault|It Ain't My Fault]]
| next = [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis!]]
}}

== Transcript ==
Frickin' Nazis... I am not afraid of any of you... an you do anything else in [[CWCville]]- I'm going to send you all down the river, you may as well send yourselves down the river... before I send you all down the river.

[''Chris autistically does his best to pull apart his OC Pony Christine and grunts, pulling the head and limbs off of the defenseless children's toy'']

You think I can be bought off like this by... having a few little toys of myself? Even the ones I end up putting together an you end up bugging? Well, I won't have it, and you all will not... be in CWCville for much longer - I'll see to it personally.

Wow I really glued this thing good. Anyway.

[''Chris proceeds to put the broken toy on the dirty floor, and repeatedly crushes it with what looks like part of a bedframe'']

[''in his [[Don't Mess With Me|Clyde Cash voice]]''] '''So there!'''

==See also==
*[[The MovingFoward videos]]
*[[Sign Destruction Video]]
*[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]

==References==
<references/>

{{IdeaGuySaga}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[January 2018 Paid Video Requests]]|nextlink=[[Get Out, You D*** Nazis!]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]
[[Category:Idea Guy Saga videos| 2018-01-16]]

My Coke Rewards

2026-03-12T21:00:54Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:rubi_110309.jpg|thumb|Chris, the closet telenovela fan. Who'd'a thunk it?]]

'''My Coke Rewards''' was a loyalty program that rewarded frequent drinkers of Coca-Cola brands with various products, operated from 20 February [[2006]] to 30 [[June 2017]]. Considering [[Chris]]'s [[Chris and health|diet and eating habits]], it's no surprise he'd be a frequent user of the website, although it remains unknown if he still used it by the time it shut down.

Chris had 8,000 points, enough to buy the most valuable prizes available through the program four times over.

==Chris's Coke Habits==
3 Points: Any Bottle (including water, up to 2L)

10 Points: 12 Pack of Cans (Or 12 water bottles)

20 Points: 24 Pack of Cans (Or 24 water bottles)

25 Points: 36 Pack of Cans

{| class="wikitable"
!Date
!Point per Soda
!Amount of Soda
!Bottles of Soda
!Cans of Soda
!Total Points
!Bonus?
|-
|6 March 2007
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|8 March 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|10 March 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|13 March 2007
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|14 March 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|15 March 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|18 March 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|24 March 2007
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|26 March 2007
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|28 March 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|1 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|3 April 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|7 April 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|8 April 2007
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|10 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|12 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|14 April 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|17 April 2007
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|19 April 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|21 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|22 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|25 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|28 April 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|29 April 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|1 May 2007
|3
|18
|18
|0
|54
|No
|-
|2 May 2007
|0
|0
|0
|0
|10
|Yes
|-
|3 May 2007
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|5 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7 May 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|9 May 2007
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|12 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|13 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|14 May 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|16 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|17 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|21 May 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|22 May 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|23 May 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|26 May 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|27 May 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|31 May 2007
|3
|19
|19
|0
|57
|No
|-
|2 June 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5 June 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6 June 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|7 June 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9 June 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|10 June 2007
|3
|18
|18
|0
|54
|No
|-
|12 June 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|14 June 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|17 June 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|18 June 2007
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|21 June 2007
|3
|16
|16
|0
|48
|No
|-
|25 June 2007
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|3 July 2007
|3
|20
|20
|0
|60
|No
|-
|7 July 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9 July 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|11 July 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|14 July 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|17 July 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|17 July 2007
|3
|0
|0
|0
|27
|Yes
|-
|24 July 2007
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|24 July 2007
|3
|0
|0
|0
|6
|Yes
|-
|28 July 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|28 July 2007
|3
|0
|0
|0
|30
|Yes
|-
|4 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6 August 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|7 August 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|9 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|11 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|15 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|18 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|20 August 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|20 August 2007
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|24 August 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|24 August 2007
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|29 August 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|29 August 2007
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|1 September 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8 September 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|8 September 2007
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|9 September 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|12 September 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|13 September 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|13 September 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|18 September 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|24 September 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|24 September 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|25 September 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|27 September 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|27 September 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|30 August 2007
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9 September 2007
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|9 September 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|18 October 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|19 October 2007
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|24 October 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|25 October 2007
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|29 October 2007
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|29 October 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|3 November 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|3 November 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|10 November 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|10 November 2007
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|18 November 2007
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|18 November 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|29 November 2007
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|29 November 2007
|20
|3
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|11 December 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|11 December 2007
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11 December 2007
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|17 December 2007
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|17 December 2007
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|4 January 2008
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|4 January 2008
|20
|4
|0
|96
|80
|No
|-
|4 January 2008
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|19 January 2008
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|27 January 2008
|10
|9
|0
|108
|90
|No
|-
|27 January 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|16 February 2008
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|16 February 2008
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|1 March 2008
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|1 March 2008
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|1 March 2008
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|14 March 2008
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|14 March 2008
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|14 March 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|20 March 2008
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|20 March 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9 April 2008
|10
|10
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|23 April 2008
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|26 April 2008
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|27 April 2008
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|27 April 2008
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|27 April 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|8 May 2008
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|8 May 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|8 May 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|12 May 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|12 May 2008
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|21 May 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|21 May 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|30 May 2008
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|30 May 2008
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|10 June 2008
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|12 June 2008
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|25 June 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|25 June 2008
|10
|0
|0
|0
|40
|Yes
|-
|25 June 2008
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|1 July 2008
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|13 July 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|15 July 2008
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|24 July 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|7 August 2008
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|7 August 2008
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|4 September 2008
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|4 September 2008
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|13 September 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|14 September 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|20 September 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|14 October 2008
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|15 October 2008
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|15 October 2008
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|18 October 2008
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|21 October 2008
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|21 October 2008
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|23 October 2008
|25
|2
|0
|72
|50
|No
|-
|28 October 2008
|25
|3
|0
|108
|75
|No
|-
|21 November 2008
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|21 November 2008
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|21 November 2008
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|7 December 2008
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|19 December 2008
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|19 December 2008
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|7 January 2009
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|7 January 2009
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|18 February 2009
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|18 February 2009
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|24 March 2009
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|24 March 2009
|10
|10
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|17 April 2009
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|17 April 2009
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|11 May 2009
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|11 May 2009
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|19 May 2009
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|27 May 2009
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|27 May 2009
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|4 June 2009
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|4 June 2009
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|15 June 2009
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|15 June 2009
|20
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|30 June 2009
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|30 June 2009
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|30 June 2009
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|8 July 2009
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|8 July 2009
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|8 July 2009
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|15 August 2009
|20
|5
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|15 August 2009
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|19 August 2009
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|22 August 2009
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|24 August 1009
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|24 August 2009
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|4 September 2009
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|4 September 2009
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|Total:
|n/a
|n/a
|905 Bottles
|3624 Cans
|5503 Points
|n/a
|}

==Chris's rewards==
In return for his prodigious consumption of caramel coloring and high fructose corn syrup, Chris picked up a wide variety of prizes through the My Coke Rewards program. His choices included $50 in gift certificates for Simon Malls (the company that owned and operated [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]), five free game and movie rentals from Blockbuster, and 40 free song downloads and one free album download from Napster, then [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody]]. This possibly goes some way to explaining why he downloads all his music legally, instead of treating [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] with his usual contempt.

He also acquired a "30+ Minute Downloadable Motivational Workout Music Mix", which probably went unused.

{|class="wikitable"
!Prize
!Points
!Date
|-
|$25 SonyStyle Gift Card
|500
|29 April 2007
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|7 May 2007
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|12 June 2007
|-
|DVD set of Rubi Novela
|345
|6 July 2007
|-
|One 20 ounce Coca-Cola Product
|0
|6 July 2007
|-
|One Movie Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|45
|25 August 2007
|-
|$25.00 Simon Giftaccount (SM)
|625
|20 August 2007
|-
|$25.00 Simon Giftaccount (SM)
|625
|3 November 2007
|-
|$5 Off Season 6 of "24" on DVD
|0
|3 November 2007
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|21 March 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Full Album Download from Rhapsody.com
|225
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|21 May 2008
|-
|Universal Grad Bash 2008 Battle of the Bands
|0
|21 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|30 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|31 May 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|12 June 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|25 June 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|25 June 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|25 June 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|1 July 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|15 July 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|15 July 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|24 July 2008
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|43
|7 August 2008
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|21 November 2008
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|21 November 2008
|-
|$10 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|440
|7 January 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|19 February 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 March 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 March 2009
|-
|$1 @ Rhapsody MP3 Store
|6
|17 April 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|17 April 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|11 May 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|19 May 2009
|-
|Don't Quit Music (30+ minute Downloadable Motivational Workout Music Mix)
|10
|4 June 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|15 June 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|30 June 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 July 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 July 2009
|-
|Rhapsody Music Every Minute
|1
|15 August 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 August 2009
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|24 August 2009
|}

==See also==
*[[Chris and nutrition]]
*[[CWC Cola]]

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20091104025523/http://www.mycokerewards.com/home.do archive of the official My Coke Rewards website]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Defunct websites]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2026-03-12T02:34:23Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. This song is an example of Chris's [[Things Chris has ripped off|originality]], as the music is ripped off from {{w|Los del Río}}'s "{{w|Macarena (song)|Macarena}}" (more specifically, the soundalike cover by Los del Mar), and the title is ripped off from {{w|Donovan}}'s "{{w|Mellow Yellow}}". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[MySpace]] profile and [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]] in which Chris furnishes "Yellow Is a Mellow Color" as an example of his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous, but to [[Christian Weston Chandler|whom]], GodBear only knows.

It seems to be a favorite of Chris's, as he played it several times during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]].

==Listen==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = "Yellow Is a Mellow Color"
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|0Rk4HLL0ZVo}}
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| next = [[Feel So Lonesome]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over {{w|Los del Mar}}'s "{{w|Macarena (song)|Macarena}}"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
[[Sonichu]] zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color, [[Slow-in-the-minds|ahh!]]

Feeling condensation 
[?] Living in [[CWCville|my nation]] 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
[[Yawning Squirtle|Take a chill pill and dance]] 
Yellow is a mellow color

[''indecipherable''] ...mellow 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap!

This [[Niggo|little monkey]], he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Pickles|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 
''(repeat 2 more times)''

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Yellow is a Mellow Color, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XLZ5q6GazUQ}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = Yellow is a Mellow Color
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

Christian's Update 13 September 2008

2026-03-10T03:15:20Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Christian's Update 13 September 2008''' (officially '''Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008''') is an update video [[Chris]] uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 13 [[September 2008]].

Recovering from the [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|uploading of his nude photos on ED]], Chris insists that [[Blanca]] is real, and therefore was not responsible for tricking him. (He is, of course, half right. The [[troll]] who leaked the nudes wasn't Blanca, but Blanca was still, in fact, a troll.)

Chris goes on to inform his [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] of bootleg ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' merchandise sold by [[Jimmy Hill]], and calls for a boycott. He also gives an update on the progress of the [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' video game]], as the project is currently on hold due to [[JK Productions]] being another group of trolls playing a prank on him. Chris reiterates his call for all Sonichu fans to pressure [[Miyamoto|Nintendo]] and Sega to work with Chris to make the ''Sonichu'' game.

Chris [[Speech impediment|stutters all over the place]] in this video, making his words and phrases very hard to understand. Also, at the very end, Chris's cell phone is heard ringing with a MIDI version of [[Britney Spears]]' "[[Feel So Lonesome|(You Drive Me) Crazy]]" as its ringtone.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008
| ytid = JoTNBMcqDnY
| stardate = 13 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}; {{Rumors|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Blanca|text}}; {{Hill|text}}
| shirt = {{JerkopShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Christian's_Update_11_September_2008#Watch|Christian's Update Sept. 11, 2008]]
| next = [[Chris_Chan_Update_24_September_2008#Video|Chris Chan Update September 24, 2008]]
}}

{{quote|Blanca’s real. I talked to her.}}

=== Transcript ===

September 13, [[2008]]. Update.

Eh, y'know, I've gotten over the mess! It's all settled now.

[[Blanca]]’s real. I talked to her. [''his eyes briefly widen to the proportions of a caricature of a psychotic''] Yeah,she called me. So, as for the, uh, person who--as for the [[jerk]] who, uh, posed...with the, a--“KawaiiKitsune” name? If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in the bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose.''' But if anybody knows the whereabouts of the...''jerk''...and just happens to be nearby, or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.

Anyway, as for--anyway, I'm happy now. I'm happy. So, uh, thank y'all for your emotional support, those of y'all who sent me e-mails and messages. Alright. So, onto, uh, other pressing issues. Yeah.

The--first off, the, uh, toys in the UK: they're definitely, uh, fake. I have never approved any merchandise or distribution of such [''pronounces this like “search”''] merchandise yet. So, therefore, the advertisements of such, uh, Sonichu merchandise...in the UK? All fake. Uhhh...possibly, this guy named, uh... “[[Jimmy Hill|Jerry... ''Hill'']]” I think his name was? But...I mean, uh, that's, uh, from a suggestion from--uh, from--uh, that's a name I got from--uh, one of--from--uh, one- from one of my fans.

Yeah. So, uh, you know, his initials are “JH”. If y--I'm sure y'all have heard about him, uh... the g--the--uh, the g--the, uh, person who told me about, uh, this-- told me about, uh, “JH”... also, apparently, sold fake stuff for Warner Bros., and, uh, they sued him...and they ''arrested'' him, so, apparently...he ''could'' be the one that's, uh...trying to make a...f--f--fast buck off of...fake merchandise. Alright.

So, uh, anyway...boycott th--buying such--buying those-- buyin’ the merchandise from the UK...buying ''any'' merchandise from there. Boycott it! Don't do it.

As for the, uh, game--uh, as for the, uh, video game...yeah, that's, uh, tempor--that’s temporary on pause, because apparently, “JK Productions”...they were a fake company, as I received an e-mail from the, uh, prankster behind that--behind that, uh...pull of the leg. Him confessing. So, uh, anyway, it's temporary on pause, so...all my fans: talk to Nin--t--tend--talk to [[Nintendo]]. Talk to Sega! Tell 'em to come talk to me! I wanna get Sonich--get the Sonichu game idea...up in the air with--between Nintendo and Sega.

So...yeah. That basically covers the, uh, topics of, uh, interest for now. So, uh... [''cell phone starts ringing with a “[[Feel So Lonesome|(You Drive Me) Crazy]]” ringtone''] you know who I am. I'll talk to y--I'll, uh, give another update when I feel like it. Peace out.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-09-13]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2008| 13]]
[[Category:Jimmy Hill Saga videos| 2008-09-13]]
[[Category:Blanca Saga videos| 2008-09-13]]
[[Category:PSEye videos|2008-09-13]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Noviophobia

2026-03-09T01:51:35Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]
[[File:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|thumb|"I'm sure she is already paired up with some [[jerk]]."]]

'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up with a boyfriend. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just love shy, Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it.

Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked out would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. In a moment of typical [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], Chris decided his envy and resentment of men with girlfriends was a legitimate phobia, and so formed the word 'noviophobia' by using the [[Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear. Chris used this word often and simply assumed others would understand its meaning without any explanation.

Noviophobia as a name has several problems. First and foremost, Chris has used it to describe jealous feelings towards men in relationships - something which in no way resembles a phobia, which is an ''irrational'' fear or hatred. It also simply refers to boyfriends in abstraction, which isn't an accurate summation of Chris's issue with women who are in relationships. Finally, the word itself is a linguistic abomination; the prefixes for ''-phobia'' should be Ancient Greek in origin unless the word does not exist in Greek and cannot be Hellenicised (in which case, an irregular word is formed using a Latin or English prefix, but still not a Spanish one). A more accurate term for Chris's illegitimate phobia would be ''herastophobia'', as ''ἐραστής'' (herastés) is the Ancient Greek word for a male, dominant lover; although as addressed he possesses no actual phobia at all.

The word has been alternatively spelt as "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an [[Chris and English|accidental misspelling]].<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's letter on Sprung]]</ref>

==Uses by Chris==
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.

* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from [[2004]].
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].
* In his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Chris and Spanish]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Love Quest]]

Noviophobia

2026-03-09T01:49:50Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]
[[File:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|thumb|"I'm sure she is already paired up with some [[jerk]]."]]
'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up with a boyfriend. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just love shy, Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it.

Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked out would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. In a moment of typical [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], Chris decided his envy and resentment of men with girlfriends was a legitimate phobia, and so formed the word 'noviophobia' by using the [[Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear. Chris used this word often and simply assumed others would understand its meaning without any explanation.

Noviophobia as a name has several problems. First and foremost, Chris has used it to describe jealous feelings towards men in relationships - something which in no way resembles a phobia, which is an ''irrational'' fear or hatred. It also simply refers to boyfriends in abstraction, which isn't an accurate summation of Chris's issue with women who are in relationships. Finally, the word itself is a linguistic abomination; the prefixes for ''-phobia'' should be Ancient Greek in origin unless the word does not exist in Greek and cannot be Hellenicised (in which case, an irregular word is formed using a Latin or English prefix, but still not a Spanish one). A more accurate term for Chris's illegitimate phobia would be ''herastophobia'', as ''ἐραστής'' (herastés) is the Ancient Greek word for a male, dominant lover; although as addressed he possesses no actual phobia at all.

The word has been alternatively spelt as "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an [[Chris and English|accidental misspelling]].<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's letter on Sprung]]</ref>

==Uses by Chris==
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.

* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from [[2004]].
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].
* In his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].

==See also==
* [[Chris and Spanish]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Love Quest]]

Sprung

2026-03-09T01:48:58Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|Do angels have names?|Quote from the game, which [[Chris]] actually [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|used as a pickup line once]].}}

'''''Sprung''''' is a hybrid [[dating sim]]/adventure game, released by [[wikipedia:Ubisoft Entertainment|Ubisoft]] as a [[Nintendo DS]] launch title in December [[2004]]. The game received mediocre reviews from critics and has largely been forgotten. [[Chris]], however, has had a notable history with it; upon purchasing the game when he bought his DS, Chris thought that it would give him lessons on "what to say to, or do for, a girl" (in other words, a vidya version of [[Dating Education]]). In a letter Chris sent via the Internet to the magazine ''[[Nintendo Power]]'', he states that the game gave him confidence and helped him cope with his [[noviophobia]].

It is unclear how well it helped Chris with his Love Quest, which continued along for several years after he bought it. It is known that he attempted to use one of the game's pickup lines, listed above, when he [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|first met]] [[Anna McLerran]], to little success (she interpreted him as trying to say "Do angels ''like you'' have names?").

==The'' Nintendo Power'' letter==
[[Image:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power''.]]
[[Image:Julie-DS.jpg|thumb|left|The [[Julie|DS game]] Chris really should have learned from.]]
Chris dedicates his March/April 2004 [''sic'']<ref>Technically, it was 2005 but Chris never noticed that he had been getting the year wrong until ''Sonichu's News Dash'' #10, in May/June 2005.</ref> issue to his ''Nintendo Power'' letter, describing it as a "free personal ad", saying:<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's letter on Sprung]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
"I, Christian Weston Chandler, have sent an E-Mail to Nintendo Power’s “Players’ Pulse” section on January 9, 2005, in response to Nintendo DS’s Sprung game (scanned pages shown above). After receiving my copy of the April, 2005 issue, I was pleasantly surprised to find my E-Mail printed in the “Players’ Pulse” section, with the screen shot (shown to the bottom-right), which I find very appropriate to my current situation. The girl on top says, “YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY BOYFRIEND KICKS YOUR ***!” Although, there are a couple of fixes to mend in their print out: the fear I was referring to should be “NOVIOPHOBIA,” not “NOIOPHOBIA.” Also, since February 24, 2005, I am now 23-years old, and I am looking for an 18-23-year old, [[Honor Roll|Boyfiend]]-free, Datable Girl whom I can love and trust. Also, a little time after using the teachings of Sprung, my fear came back like a boomerang."}}

The text of the letter reads as follows:

{{quotebox|
“I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a [[boyfriend-free girl]], mostly with [[Attraction sign|signs]], for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of [[Gal-pal|lady friends]] with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this [[Virgin with rage|frustrated virgin]] needed."

Christian C.

Via the Internet}}
{{clear}}

==Notes==
<references/>

==External links==
* {{w|Sprung (video game)|''Sprung'' Wikipedia article}}

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Love Quest]]