CWCki - User contributions [en]

PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!

2026-10-18T01:49:01Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Honest}}
{{AbsentChris}}

'''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!''' [sic] is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] on 4 [[October 2010]]. In it, [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] and another individual discuss [[Chris]]'s {{w|spooning}} habits with his mother, [[Barbara Chandler]]. Kim also describes how Chris once had a wet [[dream]] about Barbara. Chris's dream is described as Barbara being an [[WelcometoBollywood|Egyptian belly dancer]]. Another detail is an incident when Chris, desperate to make Kim his sweetheart instead of [[Friend zone|just being a friend]], asked if she would have sex with him if they were the last people on Earth; Kim said no, and then asked him if he would do so if it were his mom in that scenario, to which Chris hesitated greatly (probably out of discomfort, but as Kim notes he's done this a lot when he's about to lie) before saying he wouldn't.

New attention was brought to the audio during summer [[2021]], not long after Chris was [[Jail Saga|arrested]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his own mother]]; many Christorians have noted how disturbing this recording is in hindsight.

==Audio==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|zsOqEDSo2j0}}
| Stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Kim Wilson]]
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
'''Kim:''' [I]t's recording.

'''Troll 1:''' Okay, here we go. Alright.

'''Kim:''' Alright, so, uh... so Chris, being Chris y'know, [[Honest Content|telling the truth all the time]], he's admitted that him and his mother "[[wikipedia:Spooning|spoon]]" on his bed frequently.

'''Troll 1:''' [''mix of audible disgust and nervous laughter'']

'''Troll 2:''' Oh, god.

'''Kim:''' And, uh... Chris has said also that he's had a [[dream]] about [[Barb]]. And, in this dream, Barb is an [[Wikipedia:Raqs sharqi|Egyptian belly dancer]].

'''Troll 2:''' [''audible gasp'']

'''Troll 1:''' [''Laughter''] Oh no.

'''Troll 2:''' Keep going, keep going!

'''Troll 1:''' Okay, go, go.

'''Kim:''' Um... when-, uh, at one point I had [[Friend zone|friend-zoned]] him, saying that, y'know, "Chris, we're only friends" and all that, "I would never sleep with you, I would never date you", [[Seinfeld|yadda-yadda-yadda]]. He couldn't accept this so he asked me if, if me and him were the last people on earth, if I would sleep with him to repopulate the earth. [''Skype new message sound''] Of course I said no. And, uh, and so I decided to ask Chris, "well Chris, what if you and your mom were the last people on earth, would you sleep with her?" He got quiet, and then denied that he wouldn't, but whenever Chris pauses when you ask him a question it usually means he's thinking of a lie. [''Long pause''] And that's - that's all I can think of right now.

'''Troll 2:''' That's more than enough. Thank you.

'''Troll 1:''' [''talking over Troll 2''] Well, he, once upon a time, like the first call before he talks about the belly dancer and everyone, and to recite this again for prosperity moment, he said that he dreamed about sex with his mother and... nutted the bed.

'''Troll 3:''' Jesus Christ.

'''Kim:''' Oh yeah!

'''Troll 2:''' [''audible laughter'']

'''Troll 3:''' I uh, I quit the [[Internet]].

'''Trolls:''' [''audible laughter'']

'''Troll 3:''' I am done [[troll]]ing on [[YouTube]], thank you, you've been a great...

'''Kim:''' [''Interrupts troll 3'']: I mean it is... I mean it is, it is bad enough when he tells his mom when he's gonna, y'know, go [[mass debate]], but, spooning on the bed.

'''Troll 3:''' Spooning.

'''Troll 1:''' [''Doing a Chris impression''] Mommy, be my [[Ivy]] pillow!

'''Troll 2:''' Who is, who is the little spoon and who is the big spoon?

'''Kim:''' [''audible laughter'']

'''Troll 1:''' Uh, he also tried uh, Y'know, m- more or less try to push the name '[[Kimmi]]'.

'''Kim:''' Oh yeah, he went...

'''Troll 1:''' Yeah, named after that love doll, and you said: "''fuck'' no!" And you wonder where all that rage came from. "Don't you fucking name me after that doll, asshole!"

'''Kim:''' I mean my real name is Kim, and, he was like, he sent me an E-mail asking if it was okay for him to call me [[Kimmi]], and I was like nooo, definitely not, no.

'''Troll 1:''' [''Doing a Chris impression''] But could I name my mama's fat belly "Kimmi"?

'''Kim:''' [''Giggles'']

'''Troll 1:''' Okay back then, there used to be a character that he made, Logan, me, that pretty much countered and made sure that the friend-zone actually stayed. But in order to get more control of Chris we wanted to basically drop hi... drop me out of the picture so that way he felt more secure by telling more shit to Kim.

'''Troll 2:''' So basically you did exactly what Ricky and [[Blanca]] did?

'''Troll 1:''' Yes, that's where I pretty much got the whole strategy from... so yeah homage to you guys, right? So that was pretty much what we had to do right there because we wanted to protect Kim being just another fucking GF. Because that, Y'know, that, those were getting pretentious. Okay, you can stop recording, Finny.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{EmilySaga}}

Template:PSNTracker

2026-10-15T22:41:59Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]] 
'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''Tokyo Jungle''''' for the [[PS3]]. 
Chris has spent over '''$8611.60''' of [[Monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]! 
Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].
</center>

<noinclude>[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

List of Chris's video games

2026-10-15T22:41:28Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* PlayStation 3 (PS3) */

{{Needs Updating|[[Commodore 64 Ultimate Review]] (more C64 games)}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|thumb|left|[[CWCki]]'s [[United States of America|American]] readers helped pay for this. Anyone else suddenly feel like cheating on their taxes?]]
[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|One of their most valuable customers.]]

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''video game collection''', based in large part on a spreadsheet he sent to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in order to show how dedicated he is to video games. He surely is. The actual [[Excel Saga|Excel]] file contains more information about each game that Chris listed himself for some reason, like the number of players for each game. Some games are obvious (every ''[[Sonic]]'' game, and almost every ''[[Pokémon]]'' game), some are surprising (''[[Homos|Barbie Game Girl]]''), some are bizarre (''Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle|Pickled]] Edition''), and some are outright embarrassing (''Pooh's Party Game: In Search of the Treasure'', ''Learning with the PooYoos'').

For whatever reason, Chris's game inventory also includes demo discs, game peripherals (such as his [[PSEye]]), and other things that can't really be considered games (such as {{w|Game Boy Advance Video}} cartridges, a concept that failed to appeal to a majority of American consumers... except for Chris, apparently, who bought several of them). God only knows why Chris felt it was a brilliant idea to send a [[Nintendo]] executive a list of games he has on competing platforms, or to send a list of imports to a game company that practically invented region lock-out to prevent games from being imported.

The bulk of the list is only accurate to around the time of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], in [[January 2009]]. Luckily, his public [[PSN]] profile and other sources of information have made it possible to get a clearer picture of his ever-expanding game collection since then. [[HEXbox|Xbox]] games and hardware were conspicuously missing from the initial list, but according to his [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he most likely owned one at some point, and in later years he would acquire an Xbox One.

Many [[trolls]] conservatively estimate that Chris and his family have spent at least $30,000 on video games in his lifetime (including $1,000 from a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1994 shopping spree]]), roughly 3 times the amount of Chris's annual [[Monthly tugboat|income]] – your tax dollars at work. In 2010 alone, Chris spent nearly $3,500 in downloaded games and other PSN content, and the toll continues to rise. A [[January 2015]] leak by a Nintendo employee revealed that he had made 585 purchases on his account, in Nintendo video game products (including hardware, software, DLC, etc.) in a span of 4.5 years. This leak also showed that Chris's addiction to buying video games has worsened '''hard''' over the years, and wouldn't stop even when his family was [[Financhu Crisis|in dire straits]].

After [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]], many of these games are presumed to have been destroyed or otherwise lost, but no final verdict on that matter has been given. It's also unknown whether or not the Chandler household is still in possession of any remaining games following Chris's [[Jail Saga|arrest for incest]] and subsequent move to a [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA|new place]].

==Chris (barely) lets go==
Chris has '''''very''''' ''occasionally'' sold off some of his games to earn money. This occurred most frequently throughout 2010, but (perhaps unsurprisingly) hasn't happened much ever since.

In early [[August 2010]], according to his [[Jackie E-mails 8|e-mails with Jackie]], Chris sold off "12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games" at a local pawn shop, hoping to snag some spending money and get around his father's iron grip on his finances. (He actually attempted to sell 23 PlayStation games total; all but six were refused due to their poor condition.) A couple of weeks later, he went back and sold off more NES and SNES games, as well as his Super Nintendo console and a few accessories for it. Between both trips he pocketed a little over $80, but the extent of what he got rid of is not fully documented.

On 31 August, he made a third trip to the pawn shop, selling off his Nintendo 64 and all his games for the console. Total proceeds: $40. At the same time he tried to sell his 16-bit Sega consoles and games, but failed, since his Genesis was apparently malfunctioning.

Around the same time, Chris also made a couple of trips to his local [[GameStop]] to trade in some of his collection. In early August, he gave up "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP, and 4 DS games" for $50 in store credit, which he immediately plowed back into a pre-order for more games. Later, around the end of the month, he traded in several Game Boy Advance, GameCube, and Nintendo DS games for $100 worth of GameStop store credit. In both cases, it's not clear exactly which titles he let go of.

In [[October 2010]], Chris dropped by Plan 9 Music, a music store in [[Charlottesville]], and sold them "7 PS3, 2 PSP, 4 Gamecube and 1 Wii game" along with several movie DVDs, although as usual he did not specify which titles. He thereby earned $48.75, most of which went directly into [[Chris and nutrition|his stomach]] and [[Son-Chu]]'s gas tank.

In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris mentioned the pawn shop trip to his enemies. A few weeks later, [[Clyde Cash]] obtained three of Chris's old games and his Super Game Boy from the pawn shop and uploaded pictures of the loot here on the [[CWCki]]. The pictures show that at one point, Chris labeled his games with his name and birthdate (which now serve as a TRUE and HONEST certificate of authentication), and that his copy of ''Dr. Mario'' was kept in less than satisfactory condition.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg|Clyde's haul.
File:Dk3v.jpg|Note how the sticker label is peeling on the corners. This isn't a common occurrence.
File:Fotns.jpg|A [[JERKS|rather surprising]] title that Chris once owned.
File:Nametage.jpg|The Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty.
File:Drmariofull.jpg|LOOK AT THAT DIRT GODDAMN.
File:Whytp.jpg|The original label was apparently damaged, so Chris tried replacing it. It shows.
File:Thefuck.jpg|Goo Gone is an alien concept to Chris.
</gallery>
</center>

Oddly enough, in August [[2008]], Chris auctioned off a pink {{w|LeapFrog Enterprises|LeapFrog}} {{w|Leapster}} on [[eBay]], and received $29.99 for it. The Leapster is a handheld edutainment video game system marketed to children ages 3-11. It was released in late [[2003]], which means that Chris was at least ''21'' when he bought it. He may have bought it because there was a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|''Sonic X'']] game available for the system. The game, which involves answering [[Chris and mathematics|math problems]] to advance, is appropriate for 5-7 year olds, fitting considering Chris's [[Chris and psychology|arrested development.]]

Despite these attempts, and owning current generation systems (such as the [[PS4]] and [[Nintendo]] Switch), Chris often returns to his older consoles. After [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]] (presumably) destroyed much of Chris's video game collection, he repurchased many of the games, sans ones he already purchased on the Wii Virtual Console and PlayStation Network.

==Games bought during the Financhu Crisis==
Chris's habit of wasting money on games continued even during the [[Financhu Crisis]], a time of self-inflicted financial hardship for the Chandlers, in which Chris regularly begged for money. These purchases are denoted with *FC* in the notes section of the lists below.

==The List==
===Nintendo===
===='''Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)'''====
Half of these NES games are on his 3DS Virtual Console (VC), while the others are physical copies for Chris's actual NES console (that he probably rarely plays).


{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''{{w|1942 (video game)|1942}}''
|Capcom
|
|$12
|-
|''3D Excitebike
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D Kirby's Adventure
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D Kid Icarus
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D TwinBee
|Konami
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$4.99
|-
|''3D Urban Champion
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$4.99
|-
|''3D Xevious
|Bandai Namco
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''Adventures of Lolo
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''Adventure Island II
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''Balloon Fight
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Baseball (1983 video game)|Baseball}}''
|Nintendo
|
|$5.58
|-
|''Bases Loaded
|Hamster
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Batman (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Batman}}''
|Sunsoft
|
|$15.24
|-
|''Blaster Master
|Sunsoft
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Castlequest}}''
|Nexoft
|
|$9.95
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania II: Simon's Quest}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''City Connection
|Hamster
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Clu Clu Land
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Crash'n the Boys Street Challenge
|Arc System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Dance Aerobics}}''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Dig Dug
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jr.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Donkey Kong 3}}
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash. Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Classics''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Double Dragon
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Double Dragon II: The Revenge
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Déjà Vu''
|Kemco-Seika
|
|-
|''{{w|Dr. Mario (video game)|Dr. Mario}}''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash. Rebought twice as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-

|''Galaga
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon's Darkness
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ghosts'n Goblins
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Gyruss#NES and Famicom|Gyruss}}''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ice Climber
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Kabuki Quantum Fighter}}''
|HAL
|
|-
|''{{w|Kirby's Adventure}}''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Kung Fu''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|Little Nemo: The Dream Master}}''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Life Force
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mach Rider
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Mcdonalds|M.C. Kids]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Games
|
|-
|''Mega Man
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 2
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 4
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 5
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 6
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Mendel Palace}}''
|Hudson Soft
|
|-
|''{{w|Metroid}}''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mighty Bomb Jack
|Tecmo Koei
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mighty Final Fight
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Milon's Secret Castle''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. Rebought for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''NES Remix Open Tournament Golf
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Ninja Gaiden}}''
|Tecmo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden II
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Pac-Man''
|Tengen
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Pin*Bot (video game)|Pin-Bot}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Punch-Out!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|R.C. Pro-Am|R.C. Pro-AM}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Renegade
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''River City Ransom
|Technos/Aksys
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Chris and English|Sesame Street ABC]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''Short Order/Eggsplode''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sky Kid
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Solomon's Key''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. Rebought 2 times as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Spelunker
|Tozai Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Star Soldier
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|StarTropics}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Summer Carnival '92 RECCA
|Kaga Electronics
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super C
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Dodge Ball
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. 3
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Super Glove Ball}}''
|Mattel
|Given that this game came with the {{w|Power Glove}}, it is possible Chris also owns the Glove.
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros}}/{{w|Duck Hunt}}/World Class Track Meet''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros. 2}}''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros. 3}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tecmo Bowl
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Wario's Woods
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS. Bought twice.
|-
|''Wrecking Crew
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_II:_The_Arcade_Game#Ports|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Tennis''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Mysterious Murasame Castle
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges (video game)|The Three Stooges]]''
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario's Woods|Wario's Woods]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)#NES_version|Wheel of Fortune]]''
|GameTek
|
|-
|''Wrecking Crew''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|}

===='''Game Boy'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Alleyway|Alleyway]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Barbie: Game Girl|Barbie]]:[[Tomgirl|Game Girl]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bases Loaded (video game)|Bases Loaded]]''
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Rescue of Princess Blobette|A Boy and His Blob: The Rescue of Princess Blobette]]''
|Absolute
|
|-
|''Brainbender''
|Electro-Brain
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania: The Adventure|Castlevania Adventure]]''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cool Spot|Cool Spot]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck (Capcom)|Darkwing]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Duck]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (Game Boy)|Donkey Kong]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Land|Donkey Kong Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Donald Duck|Duck Tales]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:F-1 Race|F-1 Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games|Fist of the North Star]]''
|Electro-Brain
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Game_and_Watch_Gallery#Game_.26_Watch_Gallery|Game and Watch Gallery]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera (red)]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|Game Boy Camera (blue)
|Nintendo
|That's right - two cameras. Gotta catch 'em all!
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Golf (video game)|Golf]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Heiankyo Alien|Heiankyo Alien]]''
|Meldac
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Home Alone (video game)|Home Alone]]''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters|Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Kirby's Block Ball
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kirby's Dream Land|Kirby's Dream Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Dream Land 2
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby's Pinball Land
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby's Star Stacker
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kwirk|Kirk]]''
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marble Madness|Marble Madness]]''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge]]''
|Capcom
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man II (Game Boy)|Mega Man II]]''
|Capcom
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man III
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man IV
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man V
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid II: Return of Samus|Metroid II: Return of Samus]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Mole Mania
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mystical Ninja starring Goemon
|Konami
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Red and Blue|Blue]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Red''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pinball: Revenge of the Gator
|HAL Laboratory
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Pretty Soldier [[Sailor Moon]]''
|Angel
|Japanese import. Purchased through eBay in June 2006.
|-
|''Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon R''
|Angel
|Japanese import. Purchased through eBay in June 2006.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Qix|Qix]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Quarth|Quarth]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ren & Stimpy: Cadet Adventures''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the 'Gator|Revenge of the Gator]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Shanghai''
|HAL
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land|Super Mario Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins|Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Scrabble''
|Milton-Bradley
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan'']]
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tennis (video game)|Tennis]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tetris (Game Boy)|Tetris]]''
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay along with his original Game Boy in March 2018.<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings#Game Boy w/ Tetris]]</ref>
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Sword of Hope II
|Kemco
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Tumble Pop
|G-Mode
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Turrican|Turrican]]''
|Accolade
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!|Wario Blast]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3|Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wave Race|Wave Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Itchy & Scratchy Game|The Itchy & Scratchy Game]]''
|Bits Studios/Acclaim.
|-
|''The Chessmaster''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''Legend of the Mystical Ninja
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mario Paint''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mega Man X''
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Pilotwings''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Stunt Race FX''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Game Boy''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Kart''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Metroid''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Scope 6-in-1''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Safari''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Nintendo 64 (N64)'''====
According to an [[Jackie E-mails 12|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and most of the games listed below (save for the Wii downloads, obviously) in [[August 2010]].
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Cruisin' USA
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Diddy Kong Racing
|Rare
|Sold on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|''Hey You, Pikachu!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Racers
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 64
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Trolls|Mischief Makers]]
||Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
|Midway
|Sold on eBay in July 2008.
|-
|''Paper Mario''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle League
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in August 2008. Later repurchased as a digital download for the Nintendo Wii.
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sin & Punishment|Sin & Punishment]]''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Star Fox 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in July 2008. Later repurchased as a digital download for the Nintendo Wii.
|-
|''Wave Race 64''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Story''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Game Boy Color (GBC)'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bionic Commando: Elite Forces
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 2''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 3''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gex: Enter the Gecko''
|Crave
|
|-
|''Harvest Moon GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Harvest Moon 2 GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Harvest Moon 3 GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Legend of the River King
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Legend of the River King 2
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Lufia: The Legend Returns
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mario Tennis
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man Xtreme
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man Xtreme 2
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Crystal
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Gold
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle Challenge
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Pokémon Silver
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trading Card Game
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Pokémon Yellow
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Shantae
|WayForward
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. Deluxe
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Toki Tori
|Two Tribes Publishing
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Wario Land II
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land III
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Xtreme Sports
|WayForward
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|}

====Game Boy Advance (GBA)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Chu Chu Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Classic NES Series: Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''e-Reader
|Nintendo
|Nintendo’s barcode reader peripheral for ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and other games.
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure Max Heart
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game Boy Advance Jukebox
|Gamester
|A GBA player for MP3 music files.
|-
|''Gumby Vs. the Astrobots
|Namco
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped
|THQ
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Super Circuit
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Fusion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[My Little Pony]]: The Runaway Rainbow
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Emerald
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon FireRed
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon LeafGreen
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic]] Advance
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 2
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 3
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Battle
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Pinball Party
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Mario Advance
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris Worlds
|THQ
|
|-
|''The Three Stooges
|Cinemaware
|
|-
|''Wario Land 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc. Mega Microgame$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare: Twisted!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi Topsy-Turvy
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Game Boy Advance Video'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''All Grown Up! Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Limited Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Platinum Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Premium Edition
|Majesco
|Chris’s 100th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Special Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''The Fairly Oddparents: Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 1
| Majesco
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 2
| Majesco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Beach Blank-Out Blastoise
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: For Ho-Oh the Bells Toll!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: I Choose You!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Johto Photo Finish
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Sonic X Volume 1: A Super Sonic Hero!
|Majesco
|
|}

====Nintendo GameCube (NGC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Amazing Island
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Animal Crossing]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:BMX XXX|BMX XXX]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the Gamecube
|-
|''Evolution Worlds
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''F-Zero GX
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Go! Go! Hypergrind
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Party
|Konami
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Master Quest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:MC Groovz Dance Craze|MC Groovz Dance Craze]]
|MadCatz
|
|-
|''Mario Party 5
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man Vs.
|Namco
|
|-
|''Pac-Man World 2
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Box: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Channel
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage - [[Pickle]]d Edition
|BAM!
|
|-
|'''''[[Blake|Shadow the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Gems Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Heroes
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Activision
|
|-
|''Spyro: A Hero's Tail
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Star Fox Adventures
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron 2
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3: Rebel Strike
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Super Mario Sunshine
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Melee
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race: Blue Storm
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gamecube Preview Disc
|Nintendo/Sega/Others
|
|}

====Nintendo DS and DSi====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''100 Classic Books
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|''3D MahJong
|Cosmigo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''[[Animal Crossing]] Wild World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''A Kappa's Trail
|Nintendo
|Digital Purchase via DsiWare
|-
|''Airport Mania: First Flight
|Lemon Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Airport Mania: Non-Stop Flights
|Lemon Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 1- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 2- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 3- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 4- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Art Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Big Brain Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Slow in the minds|Brain Age]]
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 150th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cooking Mama
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Drill Dozer
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest IX:Seninels of the Starry Skies
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest VI: Realms of Revelation
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Faceez! Monsters
|Neko Entertainment
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''[[Love quest|Feel the Magic XY/XX]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Flipnote Studio]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fossil Fighters: Champions
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Danzen! DS
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''House M.D.- Episode 1: Globetrotting
|Legacy Interactive
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''House M.D.- Episode 2: The Blue Meanie
|Legacy Interactive
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
|THQ
|
|-
|''Jump Superstars
|Nintendo
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Kirby: Canvas Curse
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby Mass Attack
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Magnetica
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Hoops 3-on-3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters First Hunt
|Nintendo
|A demo cartridge
|-
|''Metroid Prime Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs: Dachshund & Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Picross 3D
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|'''''Pokémon Black and White
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Black and White 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Conquest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Diamond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pearl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trozei!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Polarium|Polarium]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Last Specter
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Retro Atari Classics
|Atari
|
|-
|''The Rub Rabbits
|Sega
|
|-
|''Snood 2: On Vacation
|DSI
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Colors DS
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sprung]]
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Star Fox Command
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sudoku Gridmaster
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64 DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Princess Peach
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''System Flaw
|Storm City Games
|Purchased from Best Buy in July 2010
|-
|''Tetris DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''True Swing Golf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare D.I.Y.
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|''WarioWare Touched
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Nightmare Troubadour
|Konami
|
|}

====Wii====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing City Folk
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''AquaSpace
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Art Style: Rotozoa
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Battalion Wars 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario Online RX
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Elebits
|Konami
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country Returns
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Family Table Tennis
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Fortune Street
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''FlingSmash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fluidity
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Link's Crossbow Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Dream Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Epic Yarn
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Return to Dream Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 1
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 2
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 3
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mario Kart Wii
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 9
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Sports Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Super Sluggers
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid: Other M
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 3 Corruption
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''My Pokémon Ranch
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mystery Case Files: The Malgrave Incident
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[White knights|NiGHTs]]: Journey of Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|''Pikmin 2
|Nintendo
|A Wii port with a new control scheme
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Revolution
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Poképark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure
|Nintendo
|
|-

|'''''Poképark 2: Wonders Beyond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pong Toss Pro- Frat Party Games
|JV Games Inc.
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''ThruSpace
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Rhythm Heaven Fever
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Samurai Warriors 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sin & Punishment: Star Successor
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
|SNK
|
|-
|''Snowpack Park
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic and the Secret Rings
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Chaos
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] Legends
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Get Even
|Square Enix
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars 25th Anniversary Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Galaxy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Brawl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land: Shake It!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Music
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Party
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play: Motion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Sports
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''World of Goo
|2D Boy
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Xenoblade Chronicles
|Nintendo
|
|}

====TurboGrafx-16 Entertainment SuperSystem====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bonk's Adventure''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Wii
|}
====Nintendo 3DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''3D Game Collection
|Joindots
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''3D Solitaire
|Zen Studios
|
|-
|''Air Battle Hockey 3D
|10TACLE
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing: New Leaf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Art Academy: Lessons for Everyone!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''BearShark
|CollegeHumor
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Brain Age: Concentration Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Bravely Default
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Crazy Construction
|G-Style
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Chibi-Robo! Photo Finder
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Crashmo
|Nintendo
| A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Crosswords Plus
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dedede's Drum Dash Deluxe
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dillon's Rolling Western
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dillon's Rolling Western: The Last Ranger
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Disney Magical World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Family Tennis 3D
|ARC System Works
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Awakening
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fluidity: Spin Cycle
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Freakyforms: Your Creations, Alive!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Freakyforms Deluxe: Your Creations, Alive!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Frogger 3D
|Konami
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]]
|-
|''Gardenscapes
|Joindots
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''HarmoKnight
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kersploosh!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Ketzal's Corridors
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kid Icarus: Uprising
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby Fighters Deluxe
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby: Triple Deluxe
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Lego City Undercover: The Chase Begins
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Dream Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games
|SEGA
|
|-
|''Mario and Donkey Kong: Mini's on the Move
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mario Golf: World Tour
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party: Island Tour
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Tennis Open
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mighty Milky Way<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>
|WayForward
|
|-
|''Naruto Powerful Shippuden
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros. 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendo 3DS Guide: Louvre
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: French Bulldog & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: Golden Retriever & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: Toy Poodle & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Outdoors Unleashed: Africa 3D
|Teyon
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Paper Mario: Sticker Star
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pikmin Short Movies 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pilotwings Resort
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Plain Video Poker
|PouncingKitten
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-

|'''''Pokédex 3D
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokedex 3D Pro
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Art Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Trozei
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dream Radar
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Omega Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Alpha Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Rumble Blast
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|X]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|Y]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|-
|''Photo with Mario
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pushmo
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Rusty's Real Deal Baseball
|Nintendo
|His acquisition of every minigame led to the subject of an [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|interview over his supposed sighting of an obscure character]].
|-
|''Sakura Samurai: Art of the Sword
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic All-Stars Racing Transformed
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Lost World
|SEGA
|All DLC in this game purchased
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sparkle Snapshots 3D
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox 64 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Steel Diver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Steel Diver: Sub Wars
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Style Savvy: Trendsetters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 3D Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sweet Memories: Blackjack
|Circle Entertainment Ltd.
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Tekken 3D
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Tetris: Axis
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Denpa Men: They Came By Wave
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Denpa Men 2: Beyond the Waves
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Denpa Men 3: The Rise of Digitoll
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tokyo Crash Mobs
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Tomodachi Life
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Ultimate NES Remix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Xtreme Sports
|WayForward
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Yoshi's New Island
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Wii U====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing Plaza'''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Arrow Time U
|XenoHorizon
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Art Academy: Sketchpad
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Bayonetta
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Bayonetta 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Luigi
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Game & Wario
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hyrule Warriors
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Lego City Undercover
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Little Inferno
|Tommorrow Corporation
|A digital download for the Wii U.
|-
|''Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade
|D3Publisher
|
|-
|[[Mario Kart 8 Videos|''Mario Kart 8'']]
|Nintendo
|Revealed via Mario Kart 8 TV
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games'''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix 1
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix Pack
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros. U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Luigi U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendo Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Poker Dice Solitaire Future
|RCMADIAX
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Pikmin 3
|Nintendo
|Bundled with Wii U console
|-
|''Pikmin Short Movies HD
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Rumble U'''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Pushmo World
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Rock Zombie
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Sing Party
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Skylanders Trap Team
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Transformed
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Lost World
|SEGA
|
|-
|''Splatoon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 3D World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Maker
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. for Wii U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Letter
|TreeFall Studios
|A digital download for the Wii U. Also infamous for being absolute shit.
|-
|''The Wonderful 101
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Fit U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Party U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii U Panorama View
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U.
|-
|''ZombiU
|Ubisoft
|
|}

====Nintendo Switch====
In addition to below, Chris also subscribes to a Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack membership costing $70 a year and bought several smaller shovelware games which are nearly impossible to find on the Nintendo E-Shop.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''8-Bit Adventure Steins;Gate<ref name=Switchfriend>[[:File:Switch 11Mar2019.jpg]]</ref>
|Spike Chunsoft
|Comes bundled in with Steins;Gate Elite.
| Free
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing: New Horizons'''<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Animal Crossing: New Horizons Dream Code|From posts like these on Twitter.]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport>[[July 2026 social media posts##SupportPhysicalMedia]]</ref>
|Nintendo
|[[November 2023 social media posts#Animal Crossing: New Horizons Dream Code|Chris shared his dream island code on social media in November 2023]], resulting in several people taking pictures of it later on. It also contains several DLC's, and only one of them is known to be owned by Chris, that being Happy Home Paradise coming with his Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack membership. Chris has also played it during the [[November 2023 livestreams#First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️|First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream]].
|$59.99
|-
|''Asterix & Obelix: Heroes<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nacon
|
|$19.99
|-
|''Auralux: Constellations<ref name=streampoll>[[February 2024 social media posts#Stream Poll|From screenshots of his games shared by him on Twitter.]]</ref>
|Grove Street Games
|Part of his obsession with the [[Messiah complex|astrology]].
|$7.99
|-
|''Away: Journey To The Unexpected<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Plug In Digital
|
|$16.99
|-
|''Balan Wonderworld<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Notably, a horrible game that you can buy for $5 at Gamestop.
|$39.99
|-
|''Bridge Constructor Portal<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Headup Games
|Has DLC. It's unknown if Chris has purchased it.
|$14.99
|-
|''Burnout Paradise Remastered<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Electronic Arts
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|''Catherine: Full Body<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|Chris might have expected this game to relieve his [[Mass Debating|tension]], but as it's actually a puzzle game, he might have given up on it after realizing that.
|$49.99
|-
|''Cave Story+<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|
|$29.99
|-
|'''''Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Constellations<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|RAWRLAB Games
|Part of his obsession with the astrology.
|$4.99
|-
|''Eastward<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Chucklefish
|
|$24.99
|-
|''Emio – The Smiling Man: Famicom Detective Club<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|''Endless Ocean Luminous<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|'''''F-Zero 99'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|''FLASHBACK<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Microids
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Florence<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Annapurna Interactive
|
|$5.99
|-
|''Fortinite<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Epic Games
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Freedom Planet
|GalaxyTrail
|
|$14.99
|-
|''Hatsune Miku Logic Paint S<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Crypton Future Media
|Nope, I've got no explanation for this one.
|$14.00
|-
|''Klonoa: Phantasy Reverie Series<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Bandai Namco Entertainment
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Life is Strange: Arcadia Bay Collection<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Contains Life is Strange Remastered and Life is Strange: Before the Storm Remastered.
|$39.99
|-
|''Life is Strange 2<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|
|$31.99
|-
|''Life is Strange: True Colors<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Mario Kart 8 Deluxe'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Megadimension Neptunia VII'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|''Mega Man 11<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Capcom
|Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|'''''Metroid Dread'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Minecraft''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Mojang
|Listed on Chris's Xbox profile. Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|''Minecraft Dungeons: Ultimate Edition<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Mojang
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Mixx Island: Remix Plus<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|[[The Red-Maned Deer|Red Deer Games]]
|Has DLC.
|$13.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia: Sisters vs Sisters'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia Game Maker R:Evolution'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia X Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''New Pokémon Snap'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Nonograms Prophecy<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|No Gravity Games
|
|$3.99
|-
|''nPaint<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Red Deer Games
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|''Pac-Man 99<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Bandai Namco Entertainment
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|'''''Persona 5 Royal'''<ref name=popularrequest>[[January 2024 livestreams#Popular Request Game Stream|From Popular Request Game Stream]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
| Mailed to Chris by enabler [[Ren Ryghts]]. Chris played it in [[Popular Request Game Stream]].
|$59.99
|-
|''Phoenotopia: Awakening<ref name=popularrequest></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Cape Cosmic
|Chris got it after being kicked out of the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention and talked about it positively.
|$19.99
|-
|''Picross S<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$7.99
|-
|''Picross S Genesis & Master System Edition<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S2<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$8.99
|-
|''Picross S3<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S4<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S5<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Pizza Parking<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Arach Games
|
|$5.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Legends: Arceus'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail>[[:File:Nintendo_Switch_10_August_2023_sighting.jpg]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!'''<ref name=Switchfriend2></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
| Chris owns 6 Pokeball Plus peripherals for this game.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu!'''<ref name=Switchfriend2></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
| Chris owns 6 Pokeball Plus peripherals for this game.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Quest'''<ref name=Switchfriend2>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#March 2019 Switch]]</ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|'''''Pokémon Scarlet'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Chris is currently boycotting this game due to taking over Sonichu evolution line's Pokedex's numbers.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Shield'''
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Gifted to Chris by a [[Ween]] after begging for it on his 38th birthday.
|$59.99
|-

|'''''Pokémon Shining Pearl'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sword'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Portal: Companion Collection<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Valve Corporation
|Contains Portal 1 and Portal 2.
|$19.99
|-
|''Princess Peach: Showtime!<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|
|-
|''Puyo Puyo<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|
|$7.99
|-
|''Puyo Puyo Champions<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Rainbow Runner<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Prison Games
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|''Raji: An Ancient Epic<ref name=popularrequest></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nodding Heads Games
|Chris got it after being kicked out of the Animate! Raleigh convention and talked about it positively.
|$24.99
|-
|''Samba de Amigo: Party Central<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game – Complete Edition'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Ubisoft
|
|$14.99
|-
|'''''Sega Genesis Classics'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|A compilation of over 50 Sega Genesis games, including multiple Sonic The Hedgehog games.
|$29.99
|-
|''[[Finland|Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley]]<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Raw Fury
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Colors: Ultimate'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Forces'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Chris also bought this for PS4 and Xbox.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Frontiers'''<ref>[[October 2023 livestreams#The Return of Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime|Chris mentioned playing this game a bit during his first 2023 livestream.]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Contains only free DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Mania'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Origins Plus'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|A compilation of the first four ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' games.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Superstars'''<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#List of live chat messages|From his messages on Sonic Play's Sonic Superstars LIVE!]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Chris bought a Digital Deluxe edition containing a few [[Lego]]-themed items, as well as a digital artbook and soundtrack. The listed MSRP is this version, the game itself is ten bucks cheaper. Chris has also played it during the [[November 2023 livestreams#First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️|First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream]].
|$69.99
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|[[Chris and money|Purchased separately despite Chris having at least two other ways to play this game on this system]].
|$7.99
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|Purchased separately despite Chris having at least two other ways to play this game on this system.
|$7.99
|-
|'''''Sonic X Shadow Generations'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC. Chris played it during a [[Jesus Christ Chan - Shadow Generations Speed Run|November livestream]].
|$49.99
|-
|'''''South Park: The Fractured but Whole'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''SpaceColors Runner<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Arach Games
|
|$5.99
|-
|''Splatoon 2<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Spyro Reignited Trilogy<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Activision
|
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Starlink: Battle for Atlas'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Chris owns two copies. Seen in [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)]]. As a toys-to-life game, has a lot of microtransactions and DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Steins;Gate Elite<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Stranger Things 3: The Game<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Limited Run Games
|A limited run collector's edition of the game via Limited Run Games.
|$34.99
|-
|'''''Super Kirby Clash'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|Free
|-
|'''''Super Mario 3D All Stars'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Contains remasters of Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy with their respective soundtracks.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|An updated rerelease of Super Mario 3D World with a new singleplayer campaign.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario Bros. 35'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|'''''Super Mario Bros. Wonder'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario Odyssey'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Meat Boy'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|BlitWorks
|
|$14.99
|-
|'''''Super Meat Boy Forever'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|BlitWorks
|
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Super Neptunia RPG'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Super Smash Bros. Ultimate'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Also seen in [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)]]. Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Syndrome<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Red Deer Games
|
|$24.99
|-
|''Taiko no Tatsujin: Rhythm Festival<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment
|Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Team Sonic Racing'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref>
|Sega
|
|$29.99
|-
|'''''[[Tetris 99]]'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription. Played for 590 hours as of August 2023.
|Free
|-
|'''''The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|Has DLC. Chris played it during the [[February 2024 livestreams#Round 2 - Media Share Suggestion Live Stream|Round 2 - Media Share Suggestion Live Stream]].
|$39.99
|-
|''The End is Nigh<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|
|$14.99
|-
|''The Legend of Bum-bo<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$24.99
|-
|''The Next Penelope<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Plug In Digital
|
|$12.99
|-
|''Them's Fightin' Herds<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Maximum Entertainment
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Transformers: Battlegrounds'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Outright Games
|Has DLC.
|$24.99
|-
|''Violett<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Forever Entertainment
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Warframe<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Digital Extremes
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Yooka-Laylee<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Playtonic Friends
|
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Konami
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Zodiacats<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Silesia Games
|
|$2.99
|-
|}

====Nintendo Switch 2====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''Pokémon Legends Z-A'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$69.99
|}

===Sega===
====Sega Master System====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Wonder Boy''
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. The only SMS game he has.
|}

====Sega Genesis (Mega Drive)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Alien Soldier''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Animaniacs (video game)|Animaniacs (video game)]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind|Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind]]
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Desert Strike
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Fantasia (video game)|Fantasia]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Genesis 6-Pak
|Sega
|
|-
|''Kid Chameleon
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Klax (video game)|Klax]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Monopoly
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ms. Pac Man]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Rocket Knight Adventures
|Konami
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Spinball
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|'''''Star Trek: The Next Generation
|Spectrum HoloByte
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Toy Story (video game)|Toy Story]]
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:X-Men(1993 video game)|X-Men]]
|Sega
|
|}

On 6 July 2018, Chris bought a Sega Genesis console off of eBay, apparently as a replacement.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Console Purchases]]</ref>

====Sega Game Gear====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''The Chessmaster
|Sega
|
|-
|''Columns
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Crystal Warriors
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Defenders of Oasis
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Desert Speedtrap Starring Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dragon Crystal
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''G-LOC Air Battle
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Krusty’s Fun House
|Flying Edge
|
|-
|''Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren & Stimpy
|Sega
|
|-
|''Shining Force: Sword of Hajya
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Shinobi
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic Drift 2
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog GG
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2 GG
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic Blast
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Chaos
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Sonic Labyrinth
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Super Columns
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Tails' Adventure
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Vampire Master of Darkness
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|}

====Sega CD====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Batman Returns
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
|-
|''Double Switch
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Ecco: The Tides of Time
|Sega
|
|-
|''Flashback: [[Liquid Chris|The Quest for Identity]]
|U.S. Gold
|
|-
|''Jaguar XJ220
|JVC
|
|-
|''Jurassic Park
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mad Dog McCree
|American Laser Games
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Rape|Night Trap]]
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Classics Arcade Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sewer Shark|Sewer Shark]]
|Sony Imagesoft
|
|-
|''Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|''Star Wars: Rebel Assault
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Time Gal
|Renovation
|
|-
|''Tomcat Alley
|Sega
|
|-
|''Wirehead
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega 32X====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''B.C. Racers
|Front Street Publishing
|
|-
|''Cosmic Carnage
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Knuckles Chaotix
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[I AM STRONG|Toughman Contest]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Racing Deluxe
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Saturn====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Baku Baku
|Sega
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden URA
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fighters Megamix
|Sega
|
|-
|''NiGHTs into Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic R
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter Remix
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Dreamcast====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bleem! *Gran Turismo 2*
|Bleem
|An emulation disc for the PlayStation ''GT2''
|-
|''Seaman
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Chu Chu]] Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Crazy Taxi
|Sega
|
|-
|''Evolution
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Evolution 2
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Jet Grind Radio
|Sega
|Repurchased as a digital download for the PS Vita
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''The Next Tetris
|Crave
|
|-
|''Q*Bert
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''[[List_of_cards_from_The_Wall_of_Originals#Espanolic|Samba de Amigo]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Dreamcast Generator D.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack V.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Skies of Arcadia
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Shuffle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]]: [[CADD Chef|Chef's]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Luv Shack]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Magnetic Neo
|Crave
|
|-
|''Suzuki Alstare Extreme Racing
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Time Stalkers
|Sega
|
|-
|''Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation
|Eidos Interactive
|
|-
|''Toy Commander
|No Cliché
|
|-
|''Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram
|Activision
|
|-
|''Wetrix +
|XICAT
|
|}

===Sony===
==== PlayStation (PSX, PSone)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''2Xtreme
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Activision Classics
|Activision
|
|-
|''Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkies, The
|[[Greene County Conspiracy|Conspiracy]]
|
|-
|''Arcade's Greatest Hits - The Midway Collection 2
|Midway
|
|-
|''Atari Anniversary Edition Redux
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden
|Takara
|
|-
|'''''Beast Wars [[Transformers]]
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''Blaster Master: Blasting Again
|Crave
|
|-
|''Bowling
|A1
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Chris and anger|Bloody Roar]]
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Bubsy 3D
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Casper: Friends Around the World
|Sound Source
|
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 4
|Sony
|
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Sony
|A physical copy
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bash
|Sony
|
|-
|''Danger Girl
|THQ
|
|-
|''Dead in the Water
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Defcon 5
|Data East
|
|-
|''Destruction Derby
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Ultimate Battle 22
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII
|Square Enix
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Ford]] Racing
|Empire Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Frogger
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gundam Battle Assault 2
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Plush Breasts|Hooters:]] Road Trip
|Ubisoft
|There's only [[Mass debating|one logical reason]] why Chris bought this.
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|989 Studios
|A physical copy
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Jumping Flash!}}
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|The King of Fighters '99}}
|SNK
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Klonoa: Door to Phantomile}}
|Namco
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge
|Lego Software
|
|-
|''Loaded
|Interplay
|
|-
|''Medal of Honor
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''MediEvil
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mega Man Legends
|Capcom
|
|-
|'''''[[Metal Gear|Metal Gear Solid]]
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Miracle Space Race
|Mud Duck
|
|-
|''Mobile Light Force
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mortal Kombat 4
|Midway
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''MTV Music Generator
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Need For Speed: High Stakes
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Need For Speed III: Hot Pursuit
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|[[Obesity|Pizza Hut]] Sampler Disc 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pooh's]] Party Game: In Search of the Treasure
|Disney
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack 1
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Summer 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Winter 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''Porsche Challenge
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction
|BAM!
|
|-
|''Puzzle Star Sweep
|A1 Games
|
|-
|''Rally Cross
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director's Cut
|Capcom
|A physical copy
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director’s Cut
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
|Capcom
|A demo disc
|-
|''R-Types
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''R-Type Delta
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''SimCity 2000
|Maxis
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Small Soldiers
|Electronic Arts
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''SnoCross Championship Racing
|Crave Entertainment
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Bionic the Hedgehog|Space Jam]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Speed Racer
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Homos|Spice World]]
|Psygnosis
|
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A physical copy
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro: Year of the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Suikoden
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Superstar Dance Club: #1 Hits
|XS Games
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Tekken 2}}
|Namco
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!
|Activision
|
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Vandal Hearts
|Konami
|
|-
|''V.I.P.
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense
|Activision
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
|Williams
|
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|}

====PlayStation 2 (PS2)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 105
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 106
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 107
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 108
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 109
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 110
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 111
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 112
|Sony
|
|-
|''Aeon Flux
|Majesco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] - Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
|Midway/[[Adult Swim]] Games
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Britney Spears|Britney's]] Dance Beat
|THQ
|
|-
|''Crash Nitro Kart
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Vivendi Universal
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Crash [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Twinsanity]]
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
|Konami
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Dark Cloud
|Sony
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''EyeToy Play
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''[[Family Guy]] Video Game!
|2K/Fox
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 2. Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Fatal Frame
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto 3
|Rockstar Games
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]].
|-
|'''''[[Guitar Hero]]
|RedOctane
|Attempted to sell on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero II
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks The 80s
|RedOctane
|
|-
|''The Guy Game
|Gathering
|This game was pulled from print after it was found that one of the models who [[Mass debating|flashed the camera]] was [[Pedofork|only 17]]. Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''InuYasha: The Secret of the Cursed Mask
|Bandai
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Jak X: Combat Racing
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 10
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 11
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 14
|Sony
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Volume 3
|Konami
|
|-
|''{{w|Kingdom Hearts (video game)|Kingdom Hearts}}
|Square Enix
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''{{w|Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil}}
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marc Eckō's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure|Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]
|Bandai
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2
|Sony
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|PSUnderground Summer Sampler
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rygar: The Legendary Adventure
|Tecmo
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Sega Superstars
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection Plus
|Sega
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur III
|Bandai/Namco
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5: Special Edition
|Sega
|
|-
|''Taiko Drum Master
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Tekken Tag Tournament
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[Transformers]]
|Atari
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Unreal Tournament
|Infogrames
|
|}

====PlayStation 3 (PS3)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''3D Dot Game Heroes
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Age of Booty
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Altered Beast
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ape Escape (Playstation Move)
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Aquatopia
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core 4
|Sega
|
|-
|''Astro Tripper
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Back to the Future: The Game
|Telltale
|Both the disc version and the downloadable version
|-
|''Band Hero
|Activision
|
|-
|''Battle Fantasia
|Aksys
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[100 2269|The Beatles: Rock Band]]
|MTV Games
|
|-
|''Beat Sketcher <ref>[[:File:BeatSketcher20101012.png]]</ref>
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bejeweled 3
|Popcap
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bionic Commando (2009)
|Capcom
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2010
|-
|''Bionic Commando Rearmed
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bioshock
|2K Games
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blade Kitten
|Atari
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blast Factor
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $8 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blokus
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle
|Relentless Software
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Blur (video game)|Blur (Video game)]]
|Bizarre Creations
|
|-
|''Bomberman Ultra
|Hudson Soft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Borderlands
|2K Games
|
|-
|''Braid
|Number None
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[Brutal Legend|Brütal Legend]]'''''
|Electronic Arts
|Chris's 50th physical acquisition for the PS3. Purchased from Best Buy in October 2009.
|-
|''BurgerTime World Tour
|MonkeyPaw Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn
|Pinnacle
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burnout Paradise
|Electronic Arts
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $67 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Monster Rally
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Robo Jam
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz TV
|Sony
|Approximately $31 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz World
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2010
|-
|''Calling All Cars
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Catherine]]
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Championship Sprint
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
|Atari
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2010
|-
|''Comet Crash
|Pelfast
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Comix Zone
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Costume Quest
|THQ
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crash Commando
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crescent Pale Mist
|Rockin' Android
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Critter Crunch
|Capybara Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Cuboid
|TikGames, LLC
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Dark Sector
|D3 Publisher
|
|-
|''Dead Space
|Electronic Arts
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice
|NIS America
|Approximately $65 spent on DLC.
|-
|''DuckTales: Remastered''
|Capcom
|*FC* - [[May 2017]] - $15.00 - Chris bought this shortly after buying ''The Disney Afternoon Collection'' for the PS4, even though the original version is included in that pack.
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Burst Limit
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Chandler cats|Droplitz]]
|Atlus
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
|Bethesda
|"Game of the Year Edition"
|-
|''Elefunk
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Enchanted Arms
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''[[The Eye of Judgement]]
|Sony
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Fairytale Fights
|Playlogic
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''[[Family Guy|Family Guy]]:Back to the Multiverse
|Activision
|
|-
|''Fallout: New Vegas
|Bethesda
|
|-
|''Far Cry 2
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Obesity|Fat]] Princess
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''flOw
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Homo|Flower]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Folklore
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fret Nice
|Tecmo
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Frogger Returns
|Konami
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Giant Enemy Crab|Genji: Days of the Blade]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Go! Puzzle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $12 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[God of War]] III
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto IV
|Rockstar Games
|
|-
|''Gravity Crash
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Green Day: Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|Interestingly enough, their frontman is a [[homo]].
|-
|''GripShift v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Gauntlet II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 5
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Aerosmith
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Hits
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Metallica
|Activision
|Likely pre-ordered at [[Best Buy]], who added a set of [[Rollin' and Trollin'|tattoo sleeves]] as a bonus gift.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Van Halen
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero World Tour
|RedOctane
|
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hail to the Chimp
|Game[[Duck|cock]]
|
|-
|''Hamilton's Great Adventure
|Fatshark
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hannah Montana: The Movie
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''Heavenly Sword
|Sony
|
|-
|''Heavy Rain
|Sony
|
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The House of the Dead III
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''inFamous
|Sony
|
|-
|''Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao
|Bandai Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Jak and Daxter Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jeopardy!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Joust
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Killzone 2
|Sony
|Approximately $6 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lair
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Last Guy
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The Lego Movie Videogame
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Lego Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Lemmings
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''LIMBO
|Playdead
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Linger in Shadows
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|Approximately $98 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 2
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 3
|Sony
|
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mainichi Issho
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Ultimate Alliance
|Activision
|
|-
|''Mega [[JERKS|Man]] 9
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mega Man 10
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mesmerize
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Story Mode''
|Telltale/Mojang
|
|-
|''[[Sonichu's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|'''''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Monster Madness: Grave Danger
|South Peak Interactive
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat (2009)
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Motorstorm
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Motorstorm RC
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mushroom Wars
|Creat Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Novastrike
|Tiki Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Nucleus
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PAIN
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $41 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PAYDAY: The Heist
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Shooter
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Piyotama
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale
|Sony
|
|-
|''Q*Bert v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampage
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampart
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank Future: [[Fuck Quest|Quest for Booty]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rayman 3 HD
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Red Faction Guerrilla
|THQ
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2010
|-
|''Resident Evil 5
|Capcom
|Purchased from Best Buy in September 2010
|-
|''Resistance: Fall of Man
|Sony
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 3
|-
|''Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Band 2
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Revolution
|Konami
|
|-
|''Saints Row 2
|THQ
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone
|Telltale Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''SAW
|Konami
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars Tennis
|Sega
|
|-
|''The Simpsons Game
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Siren: Blood Curse
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Snakeball
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)
|Sega
|Approximately $7.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Unleashed
|Sega
|Approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] IV
|Bandai Namco
|"Premium edition"; approximately $33.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur V
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 3
|Activision
|"Collector’s edition"
|-
|''Stranglehold
|Midway
|"Collector’s edition"; approximately $15 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[CWC Fighter|Street Fighter IV]]
|Capcom
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Stuntman Ignition
|THQ
|
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super [[Mass debating|Rub a Dub]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Stardust HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars
|Psyonix
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
|Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Tekken Hybrid
|Namco
|
|-
|''Timeshift
|Sierra
|
|-
|''Tokyo Jungle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Toy Home
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $7 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
|Activision
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Transformers: War for Cybertron
|Activision
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2011
|-
|''Trash Panic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
|Sony
|
|-
|''UNO
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''WipEout HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D
|Activision
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''X-Blades
|SouthPeak Games
|
|-
|''Zen Pinball
|Zen Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|}

====PlayStation 4 (PS4)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bendy and the Ink Machine
|Rooster Teeth Games
|
|-
|''Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back
|UFO Interactive Games
|
|-
|''Burnout Paradise: Remastered
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Call Of Duty: Black Ops III
|Activision
|
|-
|''Destiny
|Sony
|
|-
|''Disney Afternoon Collection''
|Capcom
|*FC* $20.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Freedom Planet''
|GalaxyTrail
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams - Director's Cut''
|Black Forest
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''inFAMOUS Second Son
|Sony
|
|-
|''Journey
|Sony
|
|$14.99
|-
|''Killzone Shadow Fall
|Sony
|
|-
|''Knack
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Dimensions
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Lego Worlds''
|WB Games
|*FC* - [[March 2017]] - Chris used profit from selling his father's stamp collection to buy this on its 7 March release date for $30.
|-
|''LittleBigPlanet 3
|Sony
|Chris bought this game before acquiring a PS4.
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Set 2''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Story Mode''
|Telltale/Mojang
|
|-
|''My Universe: [[Pregnant Act|My Baby]]''
|Microids
|
|$29.99
|-
|''PaRappa the Rapper Remastered''
|Sony
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Paw Patrol: Grand Prix''
|Outright
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol: On a Roll!''
|Outright
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls''
|Outright
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol World''
|Outright
|Your guess is as good as ours as to why Chris purchased and played multiple games based off a show meant for preschoolers.
|$39.99
|-
|''The Playroom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Pure Chess''
|Ripstone
|*FC* $8.00 - [[April 2017]]
|-
|''Sonic Forces
|Sega
|*FC* $39.99 - [[November 2017]]. Chris also bought this for Xbox and Nintendo Switch
|-
|''Skylanders Swap Force
|Activision
|
|-
|''Skylanders Trap Team
|Activision
|
|-
|''TRANSFORMERS: Devastation
|Activision
|
|-
|''Yu-Gi-Oh: Legacy of the Duelist
|Konami
|
|-
|}

====PlayStation Portable (PSP)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Ape Escape Academy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Escape ~ On the Loose
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Quest
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core: Formula Front - Extreme Battle
|Agetec
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury - Blazin' Trails
|Sony
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury Pro
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Beats
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Fuck quest|Brooktown High]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Bust-A-Move Deluxe
|Majesco
|
|-
|''BUZZ! Master Quiz
|Sony
|
|-
|''Carol Vorderman's Sudoku
|Secret Stash
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Vivendi Universal Games
|
|-
|''Darkstalkers Chronicle - The Chaos Tower
|Capcom
|Chris's 50th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|''Daxter
|Sony
|
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $5 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Every Extend Extra
|Buena Vista Games
|
|-
|''EXIT
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Frogger: [[Slow-in-the-minds|Helmet Chaos]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gangs of London
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gangs Of London
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus Special Edition: Battle of Attica
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Gripshift
|Red Mile
|
|-
|''Guilty Gear Judgement
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Gunpey
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Gurumin - A Monstrous Adventure
|Mastiff
|
|-
|''[[Harvey Birdman Commercial|Harvey Birdman]] - Attorney At Law
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Hot Pixel
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Recycling|Infected]]
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Cwcville|Kingdom of Paradise]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Stars Wars II: The Original Trilogy
|LucasArts
|
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Locoroco
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines II
|Buena Vista Games
|
|-
|''Mercury Meltdown
|Ignition
|
|-
|''Mind Quiz
| Ubisoft
|
|-
|''MLB 07: The Show
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam - Battle Royale
|Bandai Namco Games
|A Japanese import
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in July 2010
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Autism|PQ Practical Intelligence Quotient]]
|D3
|
|-
|''Puzzle Challenge Crosswords and More
|Crave
|
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank: [[Duck|Size Matters]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rock Band Unplugged
|MTV Games
|Purchased from Best Buy in October 2009
|-
|''Sampler Disc for PSP Vol.1
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy]] Vs. the Red Baron
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals
|Sega
|Chris's 25th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals 2
|Sega
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Extreme
|Taito
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Tekken: Dark Resurrection
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''The Con
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Fridays After Five|Ultimate Block Party]]
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''WipEout Pure
|Sony
|
|-
|''WTF: Work Time Fun
|D3 Publisher
|
|}

====Universal Media Disc (UMD) Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Ah! My Goddess the Movie
|Geneon
|
|-
|''Christmas with the Kranks
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Creature Comforts: The Complete First Season
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy]]: Freakin' Sweet Collection
|Fox
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fun with Dick and Jane
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Into the Blue
|Sony/Columbia/MGM
|
|-
|''Lords Of Dogtown
|Sony/Columbia/TriStar
|
|-
|''National Lampoon's Animal House
|Universal
|
|-
|''[[Some Favored Comedians|Saturday Night Live]] Collection - The Best of [[Obesity|Chris Farley]]
|Lions Gate
|
|-
|''[[South Park]]: When Technology Attacks!
|Paramount/Comedy Central
|
|-
|''Spider-Man - The New Animated Series: The Mutant Menace
|Sony/Marvel
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Stealth
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''[[Virgin with rage|Superbad]]: Unrated Extended Edition
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition
|New Line
|
|-
|}

====PlayStation Vita (PSV)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Army Corps of Hell
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Azkend 2
|10tons Ltd.
|
|-
|''Big Sky Infinity
|Ripstone
|
|-
|''BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend
|Arc System Works, Aksys Games
|
|-
|''BreakQuest Extra Evolution
|Beatshapers
|
|-
|''Chronovolt
|Playerthree
|
|-
|''Coconut Dodge Revitalised
|FuturLab
|
|-
|''Crazy Market
|The Game Atelier
|
|-
|''Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Dead Nation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Deadman's Cross
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Desert Ashes
|Arcade Distillery
|
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Detention
|Nippon Ichi Software
|
|-
|''Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock
|BBC Worldwide
|
|-
|''Dokuro
|Gungho Online Entertainment
|
|-
|''Draw Slasher
|Mass Creation
|
|-
|''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Ecolibrium
|Sony
|
|-
|''Escape Plan
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fat Princess: Piece of Cake
|Sony
|
|-
|''Flame Over
|Laughing Jackal
|
|-
|''flOw
|ThatGameCompany, Sony
|
|-
|''Flower
|Annapurna Interactive, Sony
|
|-
|''Flying Hamster HD
|The Game Atelier
|
|-
|''Foosball 2012
|Grip Games
|
|-
|''Freedom Wars
|Sony
|
|-
|''Frobisher Says!
|Sony
|
|-
|''Get Off My Lawn
|Digital Leisure
|
|-
|''Gravity Rush
|Sony
|
|-
|''Home
|Benjamin Rivers
|
|-
|''Hotline Miami
|Devolver Digital
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hustle Kings
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart
|Idea Factory, Compile Heart
|
|-
|''Hyperdimension Neptunia PP
|Idea Factory, NIS America
|
|-
|''Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed
|Idea Factory, Compile Heart
|
|-
|''Jetpack Joyride
|Halfbrick Studios
|
|-
|''Killzone: Mercenary
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Fan visits|Knock-Knock]]
|Ice-Pick Lodge
|
|-
|''Legends of War
|Slitherine Ltd.
|
|-
|''LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes
|Feral Interactive, WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO [[Harry Potter]]: Years 5-7
|Sony
|
|-
|''LEGO Legends of Chima
|WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO Ninjago: Nindroids
|WB Games, TT Games
|
|-
|''LEGO Ninjago: Shadow of Ronin
|WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO The Lord of the Rings
|Feral Interactive, WB Games
|
|-
|''Lemmings Touch
|Sony
|
|-
|''Limbo
|Microsoft, Playdead
|
|-
|''Little Adventure on the Prairie
|
|
|-
|''[[BlueSpike|Little Deviants]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''LittleBigPlanet Vita
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines Electronic Symphony
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]] [[Ohio trip|Roadtrip]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat
|Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
|
|-
|''MotorStorm: RC
|Sony
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Plants vs. Zombies
|Popcap
|
|-
|''Pinball Arcade
|FarSight Studios
|
|-
|''Pinball Heroes Complete
|Sony
|
|-
|''Pure Chess
|RebelPlay
|
|-
|''PulzAR
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rayman Origins
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Reality Fighters
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ridge Racer
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Resistance: Burning Skies
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
|Sony
|
|-
|''Star Wars Pinball
|Zen
|
|-
|''Sumioni: Demon Arts
|AQUIRE
|
|-
|''Super Stardust Delta
|Sony
|
|-
|''Table Top Tanks
|Sony
|
|-
|''Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
|Drinkbox
|
|-
|''Touch My Katamari
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Uncharted: Golden Abyss
|Sony
|
|-
|''Unit 13
|Sony
|
|-
|''A Virus Named TOM
|Misfits Attic
|
|-
|''Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward
|Chunsoft/Aksys/Rising Star
|
|-
|''Welcome Park
|Sony
|A tutorial game that comes with the Vita
|-
|''WipEout 2048
|Sony
|
|}

===Microsoft===
Despite Chris's avowed hatred of da [[HEXBox]] 360, he tried to sell several games for the original Xbox on [[eBay]].<ref>[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]</ref> In November 2017, he casually mentioned his gamertag<ref>https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/</ref> in a Facebook comment.

====Xbox====
Chris listed all of these games for sale on eBay in July 2008, but none of them were sold.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']]
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]''
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]''
|Gotham
|
|-
|}

====Xbox One====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Aftercharge''
| Chainsawesome Games
|
|-
|''Anthem''
| BioWare, Bioware Austin LLC
|
|-
|''Banjo Kazooie: N n B''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Banjo-Tooie''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Crackdown 3: Campaign''
|Microsoft/Sumo
|
|-
|-
|''Dark Souls Remaster''
|From Software, QLOC, Virtuos
|
|-
|''Forza Horizon 4''
|Microsoft
|Drives a custom Sonichu colored Ford Focus
|-
|-
|''Gears of War: Ultimate Edition''
|Microsoft
|
|$39.99 ''($19.99-39.99)''
|-
|''Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice''
|Ninja Theory
|-
|-
|''HALO 5 : GUARDIANS''
|Microsoft
|
|-
|''Jetpac Refuelled''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Kameo''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|[[Life Is Strange]] Season 2 Episode 1
|Dontnod Entertainment, Deck Nine, Feral Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat X''
|NetherRealm Studios
|
|-
|''Perfect Dark''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Perfect Dark Zero''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Rare Replay''
|Microsoft
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Realm Royale''
|Heroic Leap Games
|
|-
|''Shadow of the Tomb Raider''
|Square Enix, Feral Interactive
|
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog 2''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic The Hedgehog 3''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic & Knuckles''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic Forces''
|Sega
|Chris also bought this for the PS4 and Nintendo Switch.
|-
|-
|''Sonic Generations''
|Sega
|
|-
|-
|''Sonic Mania''
|Sega
|
|-
|-
|''Shantae: Half-Genie Hero''
|WayForward Technologies
|
|-
|''Shantae and the Pirate's Curse''
|WayForward Technologies
|
|-
|''Super Lucky's Tale''
|Playful Corp
|
|-
|''Sunset Overdrive''
|Xbox Game Studios
|
|-
|''Thomas Was Alone''
|Mike Bithell
|
|-
|''The Orange Box''
|Valve Corporation, Electronic Arts, EA Bright Light
|
|-
|''Viva Piñata''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Viva Piñata: TIP''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-

|
|}

===iPhone===
{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''
|Electronic Arts/Fox
|The game itself is free, but Chris has spent plenty of money on in-game purchases.
|Free
|-
|}

===Steam===
Despite Chris's fanboyism towards consoles, Chris has played some games on the PC gaming service Steam. The most interesting listing is ''[[Payday 2]]'': a game the [[Idea Guys]] were obsessed with. Chris's profile on Steam was later set to Private,<ref>https://steamcommunity.com/id/Sonichu1982</ref> although not before a screenshot was taken.

{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Five Nights at Freddy's''
|Scott Cawthon Games
|
|$4.99
|-
|''MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies''
|Compile Heart/Idea Factory
|Influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$14.99
|-
|''Payday 2''
|Overkill/505
|Influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$9.99
|-
|''Portal''
|Valve Corporation
|
|$9.99
|-
|''RAID: World War II''
|Starbreeze/505
|Probably influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$19.99
|-
|''SEGA Mega Drive & Genesis Classics''
|Sega
|Now delisted.
|$39.65
|-
|''Sonic CD''
|Sega
|Now delisted.
|$4.99
|-
|}

{{collapsible|Gallery|<center><gallery>
File:Steam - ChrisChanSonichu - Games - 7Dec2017.png
</gallery></center>}}

===Windows===
{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|Listed on Chris's Xbox profile
|
|-
|}

===Commodore===
====Commodore 64====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Blue Max
|Synapse
|
|-
|''Blue Print''
|Commodore/Bally Midway
|
|-
|''Centipede
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Charlie Brown ABCs
|Random House
|
|-
|''Defender
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Donald Duck's Playground
|Disney/Sierra
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival
|Hi Tech Expressions
|
|-
|''Music Composer''
|Commodore
|
|-
|''Music Machine''
|Commodore
|
|-
|''Pitfall!
|Activision
|
|-
|''Pole Position
|Datasoft Premier Arcades/Namco
|
|-
|''Q*bert
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''Sargon II
|Hayden
|
|-
|''Sea Wolf''
|Commodore/Bally Midway
|
|-
|''Tetrad
|Hayden
|
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Blu-ray discs]]
*[[Miyamoto Saga]]
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''
*''[[Sonichu Advance]]''
*''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''
*[[Video games]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv The Excel file] DEAD LINK
*[http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2 Purchases from May 7th onward] ([https://archive.ph/seRMe archive])

{{Money}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Tapas

2026-10-14T21:40:12Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Tapas''' is a website which can host webcomics for artists. Chris began uploading ''Sonichu'' books in [[September 2017]]. Chris might have gotten the idea to try Tapas from Merryweathery, who has his own webcomic series on Tapas and had agreed to help manage Chris's Sonichu business as a condition for Chris participating in his ''[[Internet Dream Lounge]]'' interview.<ref>[[September 2017 Patreon posts#Music request]]</ref>

Chris's account was disabled in the wake of the 2021 [[Affair with Mother|incest]] scandal.

==Profile==
{{quotebox|I am Christine W. Chandler, creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, VA, as drawn in my Comic Book Series. And I am a proud Lesbian Transwoman.}}

===Reading list===
His [https://tapas.io/chrischansonichu/reading-list list] contains Sonichu and various LGBT comics.

==Sonichu==
{{quotebox|Read along in the many adventures of Sonichu and Rosechu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon, their friends and family, in and around the city of Cwcville, VA. Also, a number of soul-explorative adventures of the author/creator, Miss Christine Weston Chandler (formerly known as Christian Weston Chandler).}}

==Posts==
19 September 2017

{{quotebox|Want paper copies of my Sonichu Books? Currently, until further developments, the books are available only through me. And you can have a book or More per month, as well as the updates of sneak peeks and whatnot of my next book too. Only available on my Patreon. Check me out Today!

http://www.patreon.com/Sonichu

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Note: after completion of the current book in progress, as noted on my Patreon, that book will be added onto my Tapas page, here, the following month.}}

==External links==
*[https://tapas.io/series/Sonichu/info Chris's Sonichu books at Tapas] ([https://web.archive.org/web/20210802025052/https://tapas.io/series/Sonichu/info Archive])

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Defunct websites]]

Father Call

2026-10-14T05:13:34Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Troll}}
{{Misinfo|Matthew was not [[Liquid Chris]], it was in reality a minor troll who was asked to do the role.}}
[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

The '''Father Call''' is a [[Phone calls|phone call]] that occurred on 4 [[November 2009]]. In this call, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Solid Chris]] spends 2 hours on the phone with '''Matthew Devoria''' (born [[1957]]), the father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]], and a retired {{w|United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine}} who served in the {{w|Gulf War}}. Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the dad of his sweetheart by boasting of his now-legendary [[honest]]y, before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.

Their conversation is illuminating. What follows is probably the bluntest personal assessment Chris has ever received to date: Matt berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]], [[Chris and kindness|lack of empathy]], [[Chris and reality|inability to grow up]], [[Chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[obesity]], [[Women's rights|treatment of Kacey]] and general failure at life. To this day, Chris has never taken any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart; throughout the call he retorts by saying that he leads a hard life, which includes such laborious tasks as doing menial [[chores]], [[CWC Fighter|mowing the lawn]] and ''[[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]''. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and shoving [[Barbara Chandler|vegetables]] [[Homos|down his throat]].

After being berated with insults for two hours (or so he says), Chris became increasingly more [[stress]]ed, frequently making insensitive statements towards Matthew. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her relationship and go back to [[Liquid Chris]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which, to put it bluntly, ended equally as poorly.

==Summary==
* Throughout the call, ''Portal'' is occasionally heard in the background, as well as constant typing sounds every so often. A turret from the game can briefly be heard 1 hour, 22 minutes and 22 seconds in.
* A couple times, Matthew whispers portions of his sentences after saying them, in a possible exhibition of [[Wikipedia:palilalia|palilalia]]. Palilalia often appears in individuals with autism or other developmental disabilities.
* Chris [[Stress sigh|sighs]] constantly during the call – to the point where Matthew points out the constant sighing ''3 times''.
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious-sounding claims about his weightlifting prowess, saying he [[11042009 51 50|just got done lifting 50 pounds]] 51 times with each arm, a total of 102 reps according to Chris. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on the truth of these claims, and instead hands the phone over to her father, Matthew.
* Before she hands the phone over, however, Kacey claims she has to lift at least 100 pounds for her job. Chris does not question how or why a waitress would have to lift that many pounds.
* Matt starts out being fairly civil toward Chris, though it's immediately obvious that he doesn't have much respect for him. Matt begins by calling out Chris on his [[Chris and work|underwhelming employment record]], and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a [[Pokémon]] Gym Leader/babysitter seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matt asks if any hypothetical children (or "[[Slow-in-the-minds|'tard babies]]", as he says) of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic, and while Chris denies that they would be, Matt checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris lies during the call, and while Matt goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous the next time Chris does it.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Not only does Matt consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be [[Wikipedia:False Prophet|blasphemous]], but he also doesn't even like Crystal as a name and believes it's more appropriate for a [[Little Tomboy Blue|stripper]], or [[wikipedia:Cristal (wine)|an expensive brand of]] [[Alcohol|champagne]]. Chris corrects him with the pronunciation of the name to not sound like a stripper, "Chris-tul", not "Chris-tal" (he also misspells the name). Chris ignores the fact that Kacey does not like the name that much either, as Matthew points out.
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey [[Women's rights|for her looks]], he is questioned on why the great and powerful Liquid was impersonating him. Solid's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Matt is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on ''Sonichu'', before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years. Matthew commits a potentially damaging mistake when he points out that Sega owns the rights to Sonic the Hedgehog, despite having earlier claimed not to know anything about the character, leading to him clumsily backtracking on his statement; fortunately, [[Slow-in-the-minds|Chris doesn't notice this]].
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matt brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers]], and says that he found that said video to be especially offensive since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center on 11 September 2001. Chris's only response is to blame it all on [[Clyde Cash]], because [[Mumble 9.5|he was being "mean" to Chris]]; Matthew is unsurprisingly baffled as to why Chris tried "getting back" at a random guy on the internet by mockingly comparing him to the subject of one of the all-time biggest American tragedies.
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matt tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like", but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, like pulling weeds, standing up to [[Guitar Hero|play guitar]], mowing the lawn, moving furniture, and burying his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matt is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother, and even points out his grandma with ''arthritis'' pulled weeds.
* Chris also seems to believe a dog house made of plastic and wood weighs 5 to 10 tons (10,000-20,000 pounds), and believes the doghouse would weigh more than any tombstone (which tends to weigh an average of about 80 pounds). He also tries to gain sympathy by saying Patti's doghouse was essentially a tombstone. Chris believes plastic and wood would weigh more than solid stone, retracting the previous claim to saying the doghouse weighed 100 pounds. A small dog like Patti would not need a dog house that heavy or large.
* Chris isn't discouraged by the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matt, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing details about the [[Ohio trip]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he wouldn't come to D.C. to meet Kacey if he were willing to drive +800 miles to another state to rescue a girlfriend he eventually found out didn't exist (and was really a [[BlueSpike|13-year-old boy]], to boot).
* Matt accuses Chris of acting like a child and mentions the state of [[Chris's room|his room]] as proof that he's lazy and unwilling to take responsibility, remarking Chris's plan to be a house-husband. Chris just tries to blame [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] for not helping him, hypocritically saying that Barb is lazy. Matt sarcastically comments on his lack of maturity, but Chris misses the sarcasm and thinks he's actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, ''Chris compares the effort that tidying his house would entail with the effort Matt spent carrying his dead colleague back to base''. Matt is rightfully ''furious'' at this comparison and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father. Chris tries to say he was being respectful and Matthew treats him like a child. Kacey points out he needs to be nicer and more respectful to Matthew (not to mention, throughout the call, Chris is acting ''like'' a child, which Matt doesn't overlook). After being yelled at by Kacey, Chris "apologizes" to Matthew, with Matthew seeing past his crap.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matt to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Matt points out that's a book generally already read by high school students, and then asks him what he learned from the novel. Chris proceeds to describe the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a ''vaguely'' correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story. When Matt brings up the court case (a major part of the story) and the character of Atticus Finch (who is the main character's dad), Chris seems to not know what he's talking about.
* Matt says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat. Chris ''completely'' misses the point of that comparison, and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey, and a child on his tugboat and a minimum-wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matt points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matt off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point, Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her and her father's advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be 84 per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble and unhealthy eating, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by him possibly risking death, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American-born and bred, and has never even left the country, somehow thinking this will impress a man who fought in Iraq. Matt points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, but true patriots also wouldn't make videos mocking national tragedies.
* Matt decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11 (which should've been easy for Chris because Matt told him ''earlier in the conversation''). Matt tells Chris that he must be [[naïve]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the dreaded "N" word and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least, until Matthew reminds him [[Kick the Autistic|which of the two was formerly in the USMC]], causing Chris to quickly backtrack on his threats.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his [[Bruce Johnson|elementary school principal]] and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matt brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriate "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads to Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" [[Autism|to be a cast-iron rule]], rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly tries weaseling his way out of the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. After some back and forth regarding Kacey, the future of Chris's relationship to her, her song dedication video, and Chris's [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|own version of the song]], Matthew snidely congratulates Chris on getting Kacey and Liquid back together.
* Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit, as Matthew attempts to hold back laughter. She mentions Chris failing to make her a comic (presumably what would become the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]]) and instead making her a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level. Kacey reveals Chris asked her for her phone number, which she refused to give him until her parents trusted him – Chris claims he would have come to her if he knew where she was – despite earlier in the call implying after Julie, he would not travel to see any girlfriends. During this, she compares him to Liquid, who she says would've driven to see her soon as he knew she was upset (Chris didn't bother during the call to ask how she was when talking to Matthew). Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up big time.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Father Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Jhp5WyvPWNI}}
| Stardate = 4 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 24]]
| next = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
}} </center>

===Matthew Makes the Scene (0:00-4:26)===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!

'''Chris:''' Hi, Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house, cause, um, they wanted to call [''Chris speaks over her''] 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter.

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did fif--I did 51 reps with, uh, 50-pound weights… well, not really weights, but as much as they are...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, li… you know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times--arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Well, at--was--was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but… it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like… 100 and more pounds for my job--I, but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad for you, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Alright, by the way what's his name? [''pause''] Mokay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, uh, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Matthew, okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. [''stifles a chuckle'']

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Kacey:''' Alright, well gu--just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''long pause and typing noises'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, si--good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm da--I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good. Good. So, uh… so, I've got a couple of questions for you… well, n'I mean more than a couple. Aaai?

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an answe--with an honest answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. [''inhales''] Well, uh, first and foremost, uh, let's see, uh… you got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kinds of places, uh, what kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, w--yeah, I'm looking, um--I'm applying for, like, uh--retail stores and such, uh got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at the [[Walmart]], and I had one over at [[Target]]… I have worked before, I've worked at--duh, [[Wendy's]] in di--Ruckersville for a few months… first off, I worked off as a sales representative for, uh... [[Cutco]] Cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's--that's minimum wage stuff, uh… yi, d'you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at… ''Target''… I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean… surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? And how old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27… sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''30'' and you're working at the… ''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh… degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know… but I mean, if I--if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job…

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get… in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Hmm… I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for 3 years and you have done nothing with it… y-you haven't… you haven't had any jobs between then?

===The Pokémon Volunteer Who Lives with His Parents (4:28-11:01)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had--I did--I did volunte--I have done volunteer work… uh… [''cut off'']

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? [''stutters''] Humor me.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' Uwha--what kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well yeah, I helped the--I helped, uh… the chil--I helped the, uh, children over at the--at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Assistant Gym Leader]] for the [[Pokémon]] [[Trading Card Game]] league, a few years back…

'''Matthew:''' P--''Pokémon''? Di--wait, that…

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, and building decks from ther-swha-what scraps they had, and uh… di--making sure they kept in order, y'know, d-d-don't get too crazy…

'''Matthew:''' And how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' …I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' It was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' [''stutters''] That's still going strong. Maybe I--

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' …and I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. [''pause''] So about 10 years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for 10 years.

'''Chris:''' …yeah, but also [''stutters''], like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting… but… but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? I mean, and, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and ''really'' helping people. Planting ''trees'', that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have--I have been--I have helped people--out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind… knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure that their children were playing and, uh, were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' Right. I'ean, [''stutters''] and… but… are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore? [''crinkles paper or snack bag'']

'''Chris:''' Ummm… yeah, it was kinda, um, kinda like, uh, you know, not too m--not too many were showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was a sa--yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on, but anyway… but anyway, aside from that, I… I've been searching and, uh, doing [''stutters a lot''] yardwork for my family and other sorts of… heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right… well--aaaah, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pokeyman'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with [[Borb|my mother and my father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for the while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I mean, I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20… y'kn--I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah… yeah. But, you know, to--to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though… I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I--yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so… uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my--[[Rental House|move of the house]].

'''Matthew:''' …with her help?

'''Chris:''' …and get a place of my own…

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know… um… ye, some details I'm not understand… I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know… mmm… I… it's like a… whole bunch of details… you know… yeah. [''says "mmm" or audibly farts'']

'''Matthew:''' Explain, please. [''stutters''] I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know, y-sti…

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but still, I mean, that's not…

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know… I keep between myself…

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, okay, if you can't s-s-if you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the Tard Baby (11:01-18:28)===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh…

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um…

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong [[Chris and politics|Republican]], we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah… isn't that autism thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar… I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also…

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the [[Barb|mother]]'s line but it can be in the [[Bob|father]]'s as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah… no, I think that's good, yeah, you go… What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see… if you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, [[Chris and his Ego|I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be]], and her name would be [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream… as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, CrySTAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne…

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be CriSTAL, it would be CrySTULL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-Y-S-T-L-E ''(yes, he misspelled that)'', you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so… you said this all came to you in a dream… dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Tetsas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic Dreams and Bob Chandler (18:28-24:18)===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in…

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like [[Chris and reality#Chris the Goddess|being a prophet]] to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or… and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah… if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from God, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]…

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream… I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know… time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So… why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps [''pronounced "corpse"'']. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father… but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But… you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm… umm… yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand… talking about… and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's Boobs and Fame (24:18-33:24)===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just love to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' [''extremely uncomfortable laughter'']

'''Chris:''' I am very poetic as well, just to let you know, sir.

'''Matthew:''' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny…

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little… "encounter," we'll call it... she said she was a little bit... uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now… he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh... it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books... I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so... you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for... what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was... my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Matthew:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up YouTube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much.

'''Chris:''' [''immediately gets nervous''] Oh, yeah, yeah, I realize, yeah, y--... yeah....

'''Matthew:''' I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Matthew:''' You’re lucky I don't... you’re lucky I don’t have a YouTube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother… y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um… I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and…

'''Matthew:''' You made a video…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had…

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some… GUY… on the Internet… that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm… yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to… you know… y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name… And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off…

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you… let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I… [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, n--Kacey was, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was--I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' …That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That...are y-are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:''' No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me…

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my…

'''Matthew:''' That's… this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bull[[Lars|sheeit]].

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something…

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me…

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] What ''kind'' of misunderstandings? WHAT ''KIND'' OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?!

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity and Chores (39:17-48:08)===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little… your voice is all wavery… good lord. You want to date… YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from… you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of… enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine…

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is…

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like…

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like…

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' …until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back…

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay… I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her… a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]…

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG… good natured…

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's… why don't you… that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? [[CWC More Than A Feeling|I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.]]

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know… what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a… fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and Fake Internet Women (48:08-54:05)===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had… I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to… fucking… a plane by fucking… piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my…

'''Matthew:''' And your… but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing… that's nothing…

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you…

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very…

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|Are you calling my mother a dog]]?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that… you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women…

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN…

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that…

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I… I may not admit, okay, well, yes…

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake… fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't… no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and [[Ohio_trip|I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth]] back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an [[BlueSpike|imposterous troll]].

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to... Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

===More Shit Hits the Fan (54:05-58:09)===
'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] '''OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!'''

'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your [[Patti Chandler|little dog,]] playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little... maggot--

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I DO WORK around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, they ''are'', EVERYONE works around the house!

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't...the, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Matthew:''' And, and, I've seen--an-an, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]], it's a ''fuckin' MESS!'' You call that working around the house? [''stutters in disbelief''] Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really..move, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' [''sarcastically''] Oh, it's your ''mom's'' fault. And...that's, that's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work...she's been livin' more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is...this is nothing. Uh I mean, at this rate, you're not getting...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point, you know, maybe every....while, this is no, I mean, this is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I... oh! And you don't think...!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think [[Chris and Remorse|carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden]]... That was a heavy burden!

'''Matthew:''' That's...! What the fuck, is that--are you ''mocking me?!''

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' [''stammering in utter shock''] Is this... are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under…

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life.

===Kacey Returns (58:09-1:02:35)===
'''Matthew:''' [''still stuttering in disbelief''] Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' Ah, just-just, what is... I mean... [''clears throat''] I mean, this guy is just fucking with me…

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...I dunno--

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this little ol' faggot kiddie shit... and how he has to ''move chairs'' and do - ''oh no'' - housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, and he's saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...you know, of course, you remember when we lost grandma...how would you forget?

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Matthew:''' I mean, and this guy, this guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really, wh--

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Wh--like what?! ''Like what?!?!''

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you ARE a child, ''I'm'' a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Like, you can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' ''What are you doing?''

'''Chris:''' Well... yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm… I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well... believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You... are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']

===Literature and Health (1:02:35-1:13:17)===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch… yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So-so what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I...have...learned.....that I have to be able to...cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like [[Honor roll|George had to put up with Lennie]] throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? In fact, that was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I-I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. I mean, when did you-when did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I...I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' I-you know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books, y'know, she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''rage button pushed''] Stuff...candy...don't...[''sigh''] I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. I...you don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're... [''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after… that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't... with that much…? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after...a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but...how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe...maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go… you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't… you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well…

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't... [''sputters''] ...don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's… how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like… half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

===Liquid Chris and Minimum Wage Jobs (1:13:17-1:19:04)===
'''Chris:''' But I...

'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have… you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so... you may not think so...

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|pretended he was being kidnapped]] and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him…

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of US states by minimum wage|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about… minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it... I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like…

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

===Respect and Listening Skills (1:19:04-1:24:45)===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been… he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I... wh... no. [''pause''] I, I... [''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so…

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then… and then he started, he started…

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way…

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just... [[Family Guy|grinded my gears]].

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is... this, do you, do you even listen to her, orm, her at all? I mean, how can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W...well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you… you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because… just… you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send… I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's Pathetic Life and Diseased Ticker (1:24:05-1:36:33)===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around... what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokémon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. [[Biological clock|Sleep.]] Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just… you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me... for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the... phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']

'''Matthew:''' You don't... it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O...kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that…

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me... Tell me... How about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I admit I do have a [[Buddha belly]], but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's… that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to... how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really... Because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you… You still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long...do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Matthew:''' And play... Okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little Buddha belly and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' [''offended by phrases he used himself moments ago''] Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that… That means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's…

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. Okay, what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright...

[''Long pause as Chris goes to check his heart rate. Typing from Matthew can be heard occasionally.'']

'''Chris:''' [''grunts, talks quietly''] Alright... then we multiply that by six... [''counts quietly''] Yeah... it's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?!

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. Uh-, uh, what are you ''talking'' about? Normally... your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done ''exercise.''

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like {{w|arrhythmia}} or {{w|tachycardia}}. What-, what are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that! That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. I mean, don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' Like, what're you going to do if you're gonna die before thirty?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' I mean, if anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. I mean, that's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may show-- not show-- I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... Less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] I go to McDonald's, like, once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is ''BAD!'' Don't eat ''any! None!''

'''Chris:''' Alright, well, I won't go there anymore. I won't go to [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before, you're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore, ''I can't deal with this!!'' [''she storms away'']

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris Blows It, but He's an American! (1:36:33-1:41:33)===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah... let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is... that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like... a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly... as a friend... a true friend, a good friend...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean…

'''Matthew:''' I do know, because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well… points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve... me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an ''[[American]]!'' I am proud to be an American and [[I AM STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic... if you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't...do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting that video and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Love and Memories (1:41:33-1:46:21)===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I... I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped eating McDonald's, and you didn't... That's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey [[The End For Real|left you right now]], right this very moment, you would... [[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'd go out]] and find [[The Wallflower|another girl on the Internet]].

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' [[List of Love Quest candidates|Wouldn't you?]] And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's… that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [[Kacey#Kacey Date Log|creepy date]] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family died in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ....no, okay, her grandmother, who is ''my''...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' [''claps once''] How long did that just take you? Good boy! [''chuckles''] God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:36)===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is...man. You can't have Kacey, with...with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... '''[[Naïve]].''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me…

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' 'A line'... you crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment"?

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to [[Death threats|threaten]] me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could [[Kick the Autistic|whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky]] if I wanted to. [''repeats in a whisper, "naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to"''] Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you… I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be… pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spell-check, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making... mistakes…?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the [[Slow-in-the-minds|only thing that goes faster than your brain]]. Are you trying to say [[CPU Blue Heart|you're some kind of computer or something]]? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay... here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli--what are you talking about? What dictionary are ''you'' looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and Respect (1:52:36-1:57:38)===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I...it was not a retard! No...it was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to fight the school system, they wanted to put me in a [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School#The_.22institution.22|mental institution]]! But that was not...

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. [[Western State Hospital|That's probably where you belong!]] And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... If I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you… and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to ''my'' intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res... I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is Creepy and Bad at Dating (1:57:38-2:08:38)===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were ''NERVOUS?!'' What the hell kind of response is ''that?!'' You're nervous, so you try to touch a per--you try to touch a girl? What the ''hell?!'' That's...that's...that's just '''sick!''' I mean, that's my ''daughter'', you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? I mean, most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I '''should''' come and [[Kick the Autistic|kick your ass right now]]!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! And I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? That's...you know, that didn't...y'know, I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. I mean, she told her sister about what-what, what you did. I mean, I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that, uh... and I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit, like, you tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' That's... [''stifled laugh''] I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' You know, she gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. I mean, that's...that's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it...you did it in front of her and her ''friend.'' I mean, have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you... have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes. Anything, any of this creepy...shit. This touching, this kissing, that you-that, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well... first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really?'' [''scoffs'']

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't--I don't believe, I mean, I don't believe a word of that. [''stutters a bit''] How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Two's company snapshots|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that--and how did that turn out? And how did she act to--how did she act toward you? What'd she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just was not all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around...around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' [''stutters a bit again''] And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know! I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' ...but-s-so you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' .....yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, you can't think of, maybe...I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. [''Chris scoffs''] I mean, I didn't even need to think about it. [''pause''] I mean, uh...I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. Took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. [''scoffs''] And how much--and how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's...$10 for dinner? Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could tell you the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So--so where would you take Kacey? You know, she's a pretty high-class girl. And I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I, you know, I y'know, you probably didn't--I said you probably didn't even tip. And, so where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip?

'''Chris:''' About 15 or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So, how much did you tip, then? If you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. I, you know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. I mean, you know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to...to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of 10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Eee...that's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm...let's see, hm...that would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' You, so you would just pay $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, y'know, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even ''do'' math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the ''high-class, hoity-toity, rich type'', type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least...they're not rich either, and they still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well, good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. I mean, income would be, like, y'know, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing!

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from...being, from being talked down about, some, about some, about the honest...details I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because...it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't...it's not made of, uh, y'know, Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, and how are you better than all this? [''stutters in disbelief''] You're doing exactly, you know, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you is...you do nothing but what exactly what you have said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Matthew:''' And you need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not! You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===What Are You Gonna Do Now? (2:08:38-2:18:03)===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that, uh, this has been, uh, a most experiencing conversation, and, uh, I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And... please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me! When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You continue the insults, and I'm getting tired of insults. I feel like I need to go--I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep, I mean, we are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Well, actually, that's fine, you know, you can...you can go, you can whine and, you know, weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. I mean...what are you gonna do after this, y'know, what are you going to do tomorrow? You're going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's...that's--

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up...and I'm going to be...finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe in--you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really... this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a... I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together. [''pause'']

'''Kacey:''' [''bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?!

'''Matthew:''' I can't believe...! [''cracks the fuck up'']

'''Kacey:''' You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...di, uh...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! [''stutters''] I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. You--yo--I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. [''pause''] And I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I...did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. I mean, you can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So, you know what? I-I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. [''pause''] I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the 2 hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven 2 hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough, because you haven't done anything like that. Like, you've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, 3 songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''LittleBigPlanet'' thing for me. I mean, come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the stress! I can't do this. I want a real man. [''long pause''] And thi--you can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you done, Chris. Look what you've done! [''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's--thi--that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway. [''repeats 3x in a whisper'']

'''Kacey:''' [''long pause''] I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry. [''typing and long pause''] I would like to say... good evening.

'''Matthew:''' [''long pause''] Ssssso... what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBNloweEFQOElEdjA/edit?usp=sharing Link to MP3 on Google Drive]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ddn91nknqahn87a mp3 of phone call]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhp5WyvPWNI the call on YouTube]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7

2026-10-14T05:06:49Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7''' is the seventh of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]], the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 8 [[February 2010]]. They discuss the locking of the [[CWCipedia]] on 6 February 2010, as well as Chris's [[5_February_2010|apology video]] from the previous day.

The conversation is extremely one-sided, with many long pauses and silences following Alec's comments. Chris has very little to say except when goaded, and even then his answers are sullen and short. While Alec makes a dogged attempt to reason with him, he fails.

==Summary==
As the conversation begins, Chris is predictably unhappy about the locking of the CWCipedia to edits. Supposedly, he was planning to get back to answering [[Mailbag]] entries after a long period of computer trouble.

Alec presses Chris on the subject of doing away with his infringing character [[Simonla]] and publishing a written apology to [[Evan]] in the pages of his comic. Chris is obviously resistant, and indeed admitted in a [[9_February_2010|later video]] that he never intended to give up Simonla.

The topic then moves to Chris's [[I_am_Alive|second apology video]]. Alec argues that Chris was merely going through the motions and didn't actually understand or care about what he was apologizing for. Chris lamely attempts to claim otherwise, but it's obvious that Alec is correct. At around this point in the conversation, Chris becomes increasingly withdrawn and doesn't seem to be listening to much of what Alec has to say; Alec even asks Chris if he is listening to him, and Chris ignores his question.

Alec rouses Chris briefly by challenging him on his misconception of what the term "[[biological clock]]" actually means. He also gets a reaction by claiming that Chris doesn't actually care about his comic. In response, Chris blames his broken-down computer for his failure to publish more pages and updates. Apparently, it was disabled by a power surge for a few days in early February. When Alec points out that Chris could easily have spent some of his [[List of Chris's games|video game budget]] on a more reliable computer, Chris has no response.

The conversation finally ends when Alec lays into Chris for the massive amount of time he flushes away on games and flailing around at invisible enemies on the internet. When Alec attempts to dish out some valuable advice regarding Chris's total waste of his life, Chris hangs up.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|yI6gl-zmvEk}}
| Stardate = 08 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris''': Hello?

 '''Alec''': Hey, Chris, it's Alec.

 '''Chris''': Hello, Alec.

 '''Alec''': How are you? You're good?

 '''Chris''': I'm doing okay, I'm doing okay.

 '''Alec''': Cool, cool. Ah, just calling to see how things are going with, um... well, I know that Evan, uh, went forward with, uh, freezing the CWCipedia on you.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. So, uh...what ah-, what are you thinking about that?

 '''Chris''': What am I thinking about that? I can't edit it, I can't edit squat!

 '''Alec''': Well...

 '''Chris''': I was gonna answer some more Mailbag letters!

 '''Alec''': Well...

 '''Chris''': I finally got my [[Computers|PC]] back and running after a weekend of not having it after a power fail- after a power failure. [''[[sigh]]'']

 '''Alec''': Well, you know, um, I think the thing here is you... you did kinda drop the ball on getting, um, the pages up, you know, as quick as possible.

 '''Chris''': ...well, I am gonna get the pages up, and Simonla will be, Simonla will be killed.

 '''Alec''': Um, well, that's good, I'm just...you know, Evan, he got kinda impatient, because he was waiting a long time for this. I talked to him about it, but he's, he wasn't keen to move on it. He just wanted to. Do you have them finished? The Simonla death page and the apology page?

 '''Chris''': And I'll, and I'll have them, I'll have them upload...either tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever the thing is un-frozen.

 '''Alec''': I think Evan wants you to show them to him first, just to make sure they're good.

 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh'']

 '''Alec''': Well, you know, can you blame him? He just wants to see the product before he un-freezes the site. 'Cause if it's not what he wants then he's going to re-freeze the site, and that's a hassle for him. He's gotta make sure you're good on your word.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright, yeah. I'll, I'll send them to him, I have them sent to him tomorrow.

 '''Alec''': Alright. Well, you know, that's between you and Evan. I'm going to, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm just not satisfied with your apology video, and I don't think I'll be asking you to make another, because it's...it's become apparent to me that...I don't think you really even understand what you did wrong. 'Cause that video, well, first of all, the call last time, you were just aching to get off the phone with me. You were just trying to hurry the call along. And then the video, you just read off a list. It was rather apparent that you didn't put any thought into why I wanted you to say those things at all. And that was really the point, Chris, it wasn't about getting you to read things off a list, it was about getting you to...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Well, I mean, yeah, actually I did, actually I did get the point behind everything.

 '''Alec''': Eh, there was even ''less'' emotion in your voice in that video than there is normally, when you apologize for something. I mean I've seen apology videos you made before and they're all pretty lackluster, but this one was just like a slap in the face. You didn't say ''Sonichu'' was a failing franchise, either. You know, that was part of my list. ''Sonichu'' can't make money. And you said you would say it, but you didn't. You know, you... weren't actually sorry. You said those things that I asked you to say because you thought that reading them off a list would get my ads off of your site. I took my ads off your site for the moment, just because I don't really want ''Asperchu'' associated with your perennial legal troubles, but if you do get CWCipedia back up, then my ads are going back, because I'm not satisfied. That's '''if''' you get it done, Chris, because... as far as I can tell, you don't really even care about ''Sonichu'' that much.

 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do!

 '''Alec''': Well...

 '''Chris''': [''microphone cuts out a little''] I have to continue with the drawing the pages.

 '''Alec''': Chris, I warned you numerous times, over the past several weeks, that, uh, y'know, someone was targeting you for a lawsuit over problems you were, y'know, you were causing with ''Sonichu'', and... you know, if I was warned that someone was targeting me for a lawsuit, and they had grounds to sue me, I would deal with it right away. I would drop what I was doing. I mean, you had time, Chris. You had all the time in the world.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Doesn't that seem reasonable to you? You don't go to school. [[Chris and work|You don't have a job]]. You know, I asked you what your day was like, last time I talked to you, and you said that you were sleeping in 'til eleven in the morning. I mean, ''eleven'', Chris? That's ridiculous. I would kill to be able to sleep in all day. I have to get up early every day because I have things that I need to do. I mean, you could have slept in 'til ten instead and then used the extra hour to make the apology page, or make an apology video, or both.

 '''Chris''': Some days...

 '''Alec''': I mean, I don't understand what this whole "[[biological clock]]" thing is that you, you keep falling back on. Are you even listening to me right now? You weren't listening last time. I think you said in...

 '''Chris''': You know what, look it up, do you know what, look it up on ''Wik''ipedia.

 '''Alec''': Look up what?

 '''Chris''': Biological, b-- biological clock! Now I'm...

 '''Alec''': "Biological clock" is a phrase that women usually use to refer to their, um, most fertile reproductive years. I really have no reason, no understanding of why you would apply that to yourself.

 '''Chris''': It means, it, it reference to, to sleeping schedule.

 '''Alec''': [''sigh of his own''] You know, I don't have problems with sleeping, you know, any sleeping schedule. I think maybe, I think, you know, what happens with a lot of people when they have absolutely nothing to do with their days, that's when their sleep schedule gets messed up. See, I have a routine, I have to go to work, and I have to go to school, and I work on my comic because I care about ''my'' comic. You don't have a job or school and you don't care about your comic, therefore your body...

 '''Chris''': I actually do, I actually do care about my stuff! I care about my stuff!

 '''Alec''': Your actions say otherwise. You know, you don't upload any pages, how many times have I told you, you have to start uploading pages? Not just when I wanted you to make the apology page, I just mean in general. But you don't, you didn't listen.

 '''Chris''': Well, I ''have'' been working on the pages, and I ''will'' be uploading them as soon as the thing gets un-frozen! And I had to go through my, without a PC the past weekend, because I was on a power failure!

 '''Alec''': Power failure?

 '''Chris''': Yeah!

 '''Alec''': Like the power was knocked out all weekend? That doesn't stop you from drawing...

 '''Chris''': It was actually knocked out, it was actually knocked out for about 40 minutes, but then it took me a lot longer for me to get my computer back up and running.

 '''Alec''': Um, I have blackouts on occasion and my computer shuts off, and then when the power comes on I just press the power button. My computer comes back up in a minute.

 '''Chris''': You know, for me, it can't, it, it came, I tried powering back on and then, and then the farthest it had gotten was just the introductory HP Pavilion blue screen. And then it would go into looking like one of those color bars where the station's not broadcasting.

 '''Alec''': So what you're saying is you don't take care of the equipment that you need to do your comic.

 '''Chris''': I admit I need a new computer.

 '''Alec''': Why can't you buy one? Just... you know, I've seen vide--, I've seen...

 '''Chris''': [[Chris and money|I can't afford one right now.]]

 '''Alec''': I've seen videos of you in your room, you've got a fancy, you've got like a 40-inch HDTV in there, you've got your PlayStation 3, you've got a wall full of video games, but you can't afford a basic computer? Nothing fancy, costs maybe a couple hundred bucks. I could go buy myself 10 new computers right now if I wanted. Good computers. I wouldn't do it because I save my money, but the fact that I'm capable is proof of that. How many video games do you own that you don't play, Chris?

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] I've played ''all'' my games in, within my lifetime, for your information.

 '''Alec''': How many of them do you ''currently'' play? I've played a lot of games in my lifetime, but I own very few right now, because as soon as I'm done with them I usually sell them. You sure have a lot of time on your hands, Chris, to play all those games, for that matter. I've never come close to owning as many games as you have. Chris, how many hours a week do you spend on video games right now?

 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] I dunno, I'd say about... maybe two or four?

 '''Alec''': Two or four hours a week? ['''Chris''': A day.] A day, okay. Um, that's an awful lot of time to be spending on video games per day. And that is time that you could be using on your comic, if you cared about your comic, but obviously you care more about video games.

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts Alec''] I do care about my comic, it's just I have, it's just I use that, it's actually between drawing, drawing page, between drawing and coloring.

 '''Alec''': But you could use that video game time to upload them. And you never did that.

 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do!

 '''Alec''': How many days have you missed since you promised you would upload two pages a day? You don't care. Your actions say that you don't care. Actions speak louder than words, Chris. I don't even consider you competition anymore, do you know that? Because you, you obviously, my competition are artists who actually care about their work, and you play video games all day. And then you sleep in, because you have nothing to do. And then you, when you do actually take time to do something, you don't actually work on your comic, you just attack me. And then when I'm nice to you, you continue to attack me. And then when I get mad and yell at you, you back down right away, because you can't stand up in a fight. And then when I'm nice again, because I think to myself, "I don't wanna keep yelling, because I'm not that kind of person," then you become disrespectful again.

[''total silence'']

 '''Alec''': Do you have anything to say, Chris?

[''more silence'']

 '''Alec''': He hung up.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|}}

=External links=
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?137kyhrdc4jpb3v The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0eczkZvAjM The Call on YouTube Part 1]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RguuZUvdDiw The Call on YouTube Part 2]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2026-10-14T05:03:18Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth and final [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|call between Alec and Chris]], which took place on 25 [[February 2010]].

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in [[Issue 10]], given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and [[Sonichu Revolution]] comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything fine. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "[[Sandy]]", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

[[Christian Love Day]] is also brought up. Chris denies [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND saying that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right". When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a pathetic cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question.

Chris also admits that he has no objections being kissed up to, which has been [[Ego|fairly obvious]] for quite a long time. He then goes on to prove he knows little to nothing of Christianity, his professed belief ([[Chris and religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits to believing Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not okay to [[parody]] a parody (it's as nonsensical as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]], for no reason whatsoever.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of Alec; this ironically serves as a perfect metaphor towards the relationship between the two.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|iu02fNtlmdQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that [[Sonichu 10#Trial of the Asperpedia Four|trial]], Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' You could've made that more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:''' But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you ''seriously'' believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, whi-whi... whi-while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching [[South Park]] in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me.

'''Alec:''' Oh, really? [''Chris keeps talking, Alec has to shout over him''] Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Those are like... especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris? Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But yet, what you're saying to me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' Not your character! Not-- no, Simonla was not your character! She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is, uh, [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like, Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which, by corollary, makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' We, that's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind's a little slow]].

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. So it should be an equally important holiday in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, y'know like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, y'know "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a 100-- It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's... uh, history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16th, I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Mexicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a {{w|Hallmark holiday}}, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate... something.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that, that you just want... you, you really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. [''pause''] Admit it. It's about [[Chris and his ego|your ego]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's [[narcissism|actually a lot more than just quote-unquote "ego".]]

'''Alec:''' What... well, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to.... create a holiday--Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it. I mean--

'''Chris:''' [''interrupts Alec''] Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "oh, because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|You brutally killed me.]]

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a [[dildo]] and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah ''Palin'', actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you [[Down with Asperchu|cursed me]] [[12 January 2010|with the]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|death threats]]?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you [[Chris and religion|claim to be a Christian]], this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] .....I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' ''No'', no, you're not! You don't practice... no, baptism doesn't mean ''shit.'' You don't even ''try'' to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lot to memorize, and it's, and... and it's--

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But ''you'' worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works, alright? God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''frustrated sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla; admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, [[Autism|no, they actually happened.]]

'''Alec:''' [''loud clap; probably Alec facepalming''] Yes, they ''happened'', Chris, but your ''responses'' were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me, uh, get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to go off-topic, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, ['''Alec:''' Sure.] what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''[[Adult Swim|Robot Chicken]]''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, [[Saw|I don't mind gore]], up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was, y'know, meant to be a funny parody of me. See, I don't take myself complete... [''Chris tries to interrupt''] I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10, I will be making less appearances in the book, and--in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] [[Chris and negligence#Art|Well, I overestimated myself!]]

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to, y'know, be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' ''Sonichu'' is your ''job'', Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make him your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he ''is'' your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:''' I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-[''hangs up'']

'''Alec:''' "Mis-"?

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBNTkyWTduZ0JXOXc The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu02fNtlmdQ YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Chris and oratory

2026-10-14T05:01:21Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File: PercilesOration.jpg|thumb|What Chris thinks he's doing when he gives a speech.]]

{{Quote|Style has three kinds of excellence, correctness, lucidity and elegance (for many include the all-important quality of appropriateness under the heading of elegance).|Quintilian, On the Education of the Orator, 1.5.1}}

Whenever Chris wants to make an argument regarding his opinions, one way he’ll attempt to move people is through '''orating''' his reasoning onto them. Since Chris lacks some of the basic skills needed to make an effective speech, rarely ever plans out anything he makes, has serious communication problems, and never does research, his speeches always turn out lackluster at best and horrifyingly [[Naive|naive]] at worst. This could be due to his [[autism]], since communication effectiveness is often affected by it.<ref name="autcom">[[Wikipedia:Autism#Communication|Wikipedia article on autism impairing communication]]</ref>

==Chris as a public speaker==
[[File:Chris_orating_artwork_Merttey.png|thumb|Chris, pushing the boundaries of rhetoric.]]

Chris often struggles to speak in a coherent manner that can convincingly hold an argument, some of the reasons are as follows:

===Inability to communicate properly===

Chris has been known to sometimes have issues making his points clear. His heavy [[speech impediment]], brought on by autism,<ref name="autcom"></ref> makes him incredibly hard to understand at times. He also, unfortunately, often seems to space out or lose focus mid-sentence, and repeat a lot of his points when he can't think of anything to say. His orations often include adaptations from other people's or character's speeches, since Chris seems to have a difficult time being creative and [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|original]], and so they often turn out somewhat disjointed and weak. He almost always seems to get it right whenever his speech involves rage or wanting someone to die, since all Chris can think about in those speeches is getting his goal accomplished as soon as possible. This indicates a very physically-focused style of thinking, also possibly a symptom of his autism, that prevents him from communicating theoretical ideas easily.

In many of his speeches, Chris also tends to use very fancy sounding words to make himself look more intelligent than he actually is.<ref>[[July_2016_Facebook_posts#.22I.27m_not_on_drugs.21.22]]</ref> Chris seems to think that by using obscure words, or by making up phrases composed of existing words and affixes, his speeches mean more than they actually do and people will think he knows what he's talking about. Unfortunately, however, this often has the opposite effect, especially if Chris is using the word in the wrong way, as he is known to do, and if the person listening to the speech isn't already familiar with [[CWC-isms|Chris's strange vocabulary]], they'll be completely lost.

===Lack of self-awareness===

{{quote|"Be the change you wish to see in the world"|A quote which Chris should have taken advice from.}}

Despite wanting to change the world, Chris rarely ever seems to attempt to change himself, whether for good or bad. One of the most important aspects of a public speaker is their willingness to not only change the ways others think but to also change themselves. Therefore, an effective speaker would always be aware of wherever their argument or reasoning falls flat. Instead, Chris, who often speaks and thinks with a somewhat inflated [[ego]], never looks into his overall character. He tends to treat his good qualities with care and attention, and completely overlooks a majority of his bad ones. The only times he mentions his bad qualities is whenever he feels he needs the pity of people more fortunate than him to make himself feel useful. Because of this complete lack of self-awareness, it is very hard to actually follow any type of advice Chris will give, given his inexperience in these same things.

===Never doing research===

In order to get their point across, a strong orator must know a lot about what they're trying to prove to their audience. This means doing extensive research on that given topic and evaluating their current stance on the topic whenever contradictory evidence comes to light. Chris, unfortunately, often neglects this part of the process due to [[Chris and work|bad habits]]. Because of how little research Chris does to make a point, and having lived a very sheltered childhood, Chris seems to base his points on many logical fallacies, childlike beliefs, his past experiences, and baseless assumptions. Even when he does do research, the arguments he makes will typically fail due to him misrepresenting or misinterpreting claims made in his sources. Whenever he does research, his preferred source seems to be [[Wikipedia]]<ref>[[Autism_Tutorial_Part_1]]</ref>, which many people do not recommend as a secondary source, given how '''anyone''' can edit its articles. Even if Wikipedia itself was a credible source that could be used to make a strong argument, Chris will often cherrypick whatever proves his point the best, ignoring all of the other parts of the article.

===Habit of lying===

Most importantly, for any public speaker, they need to be someone that can be trusted by the general public. Given [[List of Chris's lies|how often Chris lies]], it is difficult for his speeches to have credibility, and so lose a lot of their communicative power. The law of noncontradiction and liar's paradox give reasons to disbelieve someone who lies even once. Some examples of his lies, specifically those in his spoken presentations ([[lies|comprehensive list here]]) are as follows:

* Chris said that Blanca Weiss received the medallion, and sent it back.<ref>[[Chris_Chan_Update_9_October_2008|Video in which Chris lied about the medallion]]</ref> This was of course a lie, since Chris had made a new medallion, and the old one had been publicly destroyed.<ref>[[Medallions#Mark_1_.28and_decoy.29|First medallion destruction video]]</ref>

* Chris has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>

* Whilst technically not lying, Chris's moving of the goalposts when it comes to Liquid Chris's credibility as the true and honest CWC is incredibly damaging to Chris's image as an honest and credible person. This includes the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]]; it was started by Chris for the explicit purpose of determining which of the two CWCs was the real one, but after Liquid won fair and square, Chris backpedaled and claimed that the contest was "only for fun".

* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.

* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].

==Common traits of Chris's Speech==

===Rage===

[[File: KillTrump.jpg|thumb|A typical [[death threats|death threat]].]]

Chris often has a very black and white view of people and evil, tending to view people as his "enemies" if he doesn't like them, even if the situation is vastly more complicated in nature. This, and his lack of tact when it comes to his stronger emotions, be they love or hate unfortunately cause Chris to lash out at people with insults, death threats and obscenities. This behavior even got his "CChanSonichu" YouTube channel [[YouTube#CChanSonichu_.28April_2009_.E2.80.93_July_2009.29|taken down]] at one point. The extent of what Chris might say to his offenders is ultimately unpredictable. Sometimes, Chris will only go off on a tangent on how much of a dirty troll his offenders are, and will rage, thinking that that will work as an effective way of changing their minds about conducting the behavior that was angering him. Other times, Chris will absolutely despise a person's guts so much, that when he orates about their dastardly deeds, he will want the person in question to either suffer or be wiped off the face of the Earth entirely.

===Threats===

Chris sometimes will threaten his audience in an attempt to get them to do something to better themselves, or that will in some way benefit him. In the video, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]], he demands all of the trolls to delete everything they found out about Chris's house off the internet, and even goes as far as threatening [[Chris and the law|the law]] onto them. Also, during the [[Clyde Cash]] saga, Chris has made several attempts to blackmail Clyde in a series of videos where he's threatening Clyde to stop trolling him. In some of these other videos, Chris tries to make Clyde look like a pathetic weakling and makes himself look like a Herculean chick-magnet, while he was threatening him to have a fight with him.<ref>[[Challenge_for_Clyde]]</ref>

===Bias and one-sided arguments===

Chris has certain behaviors that can be seen as very stubborn, his refusal to change himself or his beliefs are often a detriment to him. This means that regardless of what evidence you give to him that suggests he’s wrong, he’ll always try to find some kind of information out of thin air or fallacious argument to further verify his beliefs. Whenever he gives a speech, often times he doesn't ever think about why other people might not agree with his opinions, or he won't think about the kind of people that might not benefit from his opinions. This seems to be a symptom of some level of [[narcissism]] which he has developed over years of enabling by his parents.

===Logical Fallacies===

When majoring in [[CADD]], Chris never ended up taking any classes in rhetoric, so Chris oftentimes falls into logical fallacies in his many rhetorical pieces. His arguments usually end up very unsubstantial as a result, with no relevant evidence in many instances. The following examples illustrate the logical fallacies common to Chris's videos and speeches, and give examples for each.

====''Ad Hominem''====

Chris may sometimes, misguidedly, rely on insults and ad hominem arguments to argue a point. This is where someone may say something, such as accusing him of being homosexual, and then Chris, instead of arguing against that point using reason, will insult the person's character. This of course is a fallacious method of argument and does not verify Chris's sexuality at all.

For instance, in the video [[Kill De Jack]], Chris argues that:
# The homosexual ads are inappropriate for his website, and should be replaced with something else.
# [[Clyde Cash]]'s billboards contain false information.
# Chris is straight.

However, the arguments he uses are: Jack makes Chris sick, Chris mocks Jack, Chris says Clyde is lazy, Chris appeals to an imaginary audience, saying he's not the only one sick of the ads, Chris says Jack is a sniveling coward, Chris says Jack is poor, Chris slanders Clyde and attempts to de-platform him, and then flips the bird at Jack. Not a single valid point was made.

====Strawman arguments====

If Chris is arguing against something airtight, he may choose to misrepresent the argument, and instead argue against a malformed, flawed version of that argument created in his mind. These were used a lot against the troll who intellectually challenged him the most: [[Alec Benson Leary]], who wanted Chris not to use [[Evan Christopher George]]'s Simonchu character, which Chris had gender-bended into [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It was very hard for Alec to keep the argument on track, as Chris was so frequently using Simonchu as a strawman, saying "Evan can have his Simonchu", when Alec was clearly talking about Simon''la'', which makes the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]] particularly hard to listen to, since Chris's incessant use of this fallacy was so annoying.

====Moving the goalposts====

Chris has a habit of not thinking his demands though, or otherwise let his [[ego]] get in the way of [[reality]]. This will sometimes cause people to easily prove themselves correct by Chris's standard, thus winning the argument. However, in retaliation, Chris will, instead of admitting defeat, redefine the specifications and requirements of evidence, which makes the process of being proven wrong an endless cycle of being presented with evidence and demanding more. This allows Chris to believe that any of his misguided delusions are true without allowing evidence to prove otherwise.

A fantastic example of Chris's employment of this fallacy was in the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Chris would set goals for Liquid Chris to reach in order to prove that he is the true and honest creator of [[Sonichu]], and even though Liquid continually achieved these and proved that he was the true and honest creator of Sonichu, Chris would never afford him the credit he deserved. Instead, Chris would just say that the proof didn't matter because he said so, and in order for him to prove his legitimacy he must fulfill this next goal. This is a very good example of moving the goalposts, especially since Liquid Chris didn't actually create Sonichu in the first place; the only reason Liquid could so easily fulfill Chris's demands was because they weren't asking for actual relevant evidence, but instead were egotistical assertions that he was the only person who could speak Spanish (disproven in a video by Liquid in which he shows a solid grasp of not only Spanish, but numerous other languages) or [[SingStar Challenge|could sing]]. It's an incredible example of this logical fallacy interacting with Chris's narcissism.

==Notable Speeches from Chris==

A series of commentaries on Chris's notable speeches, focusing specifically on Chris's ability to communicate, body language and rhetoric.

===Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE===

{{Main|Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE}}

Chris's FUTURE MESSAGE speech is a solid example of Chris's early oral works, featuring a lot of the problems listed in this article, and Chris's somewhat problematic beliefs. It was filmed on his [[Chris's birthday#2007, 25th birthday|25th birthday]] as a sort of set of proverbs and imparted wisdoms that Chris had accumulated through his life, that he wanted to pass to future generations. Chris was very confident and proud of this speech, as can be noted by his intention to have it shown in local schools.<ref>[[Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Intended_audience|mentioning intended audience on the speech's article]]</ref> However, he has never been approached with any kind of offer for it to be displayed anywhere, yet.

====Communication issues====

Chris is holding a piece of paper, on which his script is written, and relies heavily on it, often neglecting to look at the camera, causing the communication to not be as effective. A better public speaker would usually try to maintain eye contact with their audience, too keep their attention and to seem personable, usually by either learning the script, knowing what they want to say and just improvising around that, placing or holding the script in a position where it can be glanced at without having to look away from the audience, or using more subtle note cards with pointers to remind them of what to say, making sure to maintain eye contact throughout.

Throughout the video, the many pronunciation problems that Chris has are on full display, saying the word "example" as "etsample" and "relaxing" as "relatsing", as well as generally slurred speech which is spoken too quickly to be effective.

Chris also shows his regional dialect, as well as his wit, with the phrase:

{{quotebox|I am here, and y'all are there.}}

Interestingly, the hand sign Chris uses to illustrate his oration when saying that it is his 25th birthday is holding up three fingers. This makes the communication confusing, as a good public speaker is often sure to make what they go with their hands match up with what they are saying. Many of Chris's gestures used throughout his output are meaningless on their own, only present to convey rhythm and emphasis.

Chris's stuttering is also exemplified here, when he talks faster than his brain can think (which is easy for him to do, since he has a tendency to speak fast, like children usually do, and doesn't seem to have an easy time constructing sentences in his head) he says the wrong word, and often goes back a few words to say the clause again to correct the mistake. An example of this being:

{{quotebox|Today, I am share- intend to share some wise words}}

Chris caught himself saying the wrong word, and so corrects himself. The amount he does this varies heavily on how hard he finds the sentence to think of, luckily, the script helps him know what to say if that happens, so it doesn't happen as much in this particular video. The parts where he stutters most is where he goes off of his script and makes a side comment, such as:

{{quotebox|I haven't done it and I don't like it—doing either of them}}

====Rhetorical problems====

Chris uses a litany of rhetorical devices to put across his points, such as calling cigarettes "death sticks" and saying he would like to send all of the tobacco that exists to the moon on a rocket. Chris also takes a negative stance on alcohol, saying that it's a "slow-acting poison". However, these arguments somewhat fall flat when he uses himself as an example of the benefits of not smoking or drinking ("fit as a fiddle"). While Chris is indeed not dead or suffering liver problems, he isn't exactly a portrait of good health, being unfit and overweight at 25. The use of good examples is extremely important in rhetoric and public speaking in general. If Chris let go of his [[ego]], he'd be better off citing straight-edge celebrities.

Chris also speaks out against gender transitioning and intimate relations with the same gender. Unfortunately, this argument doesn't really have much to stand on, as Chris merely makes a somewhat feeble and lazy appeal to authority, by invoking the name of [[Wikipedia:Alfred_Kinsey|Dr. Alfred Kinsey]], a 1950s sex researcher. He also mentions the "The Big Man Upstairs", presumably referring to the Christian God, which Chris believed in at the time, since Christian marriage is between a man and a woman, and premarital sex is prohibited, making same-sex relations a sin in general. He also claims homosexuality can "really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race", which is completely untrue and baseless, since LGBTQ+ people are in the minority and can still reproduce through surrogacy. None of these arguments are good or well-supported enough to be taken seriously.

Chris insists that women not be so picky when it comes to finding a partner. As well as this showing that Chris seeks to undermine female agency and self-esteem, it also is a transparent attempt to get women to have a relationship with him out of pity. This is an abuse of his platform as a public speaker and really undermines a lot of his points. Chris could improve his public speaking a lot by becoming more humble and respectful of other people's wishes, and unfortunately did not manage to provide good enough citations for his points.

In conclusion, we can see from this example that both Chris's ability to communicate and rhetorical discourse is ultimately flawed, and would require a lot more speech therapy and communication training, as well as rhetoric lessons, to control.

===Autism Tutorial===

{{Main|Autism Tutorial}}

Chris's Autism Tutorial is a good example of Chris lecturing a large group of people on a widespread mental disorder, but without researching the subject correctly or using effective techniques in his points, it also displays rage responses and insult responses, so you can get a wide range of these techniques. In most of this video series, Chris neglects to actually talk about Autism, its effects on one's cognitive functioning, how neurotypicals should treat people on the Autism Spectrum, and seldom gives appropriate or recommended advice. When he isn't telling parents of autistic children to mainstream their kids and [[Autism Tutorial Extra|irrationally hating]] on [[Asperger's syndrome|a part of the spectrum]], he is giving very incoherent and convoluted speeches. Here are just a few of his speeches he gives in the video series:

{{quotebox|Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up [Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"] respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!}}

In this speech, Chris doesn't seem to account for people who are [[Slow-in-the-minds|much lower on the spectrum]] and therefore can't socialize with others like he demands them to. He also doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that all autistic people develop differently, hence why it is called a “spectrum” in the first place. Because of this, despite [[Chris and socialization|being somewhat incompetent at socializing himself]], he thinks that if he just acts as a role model and tells all autistic people to go out and just talk to people, their disorder will magically become manageable.

{{quotebox|I feel dislike towards you! For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us Autistic kind sound even worse! Aspergers. You shoulda left it as it was!. Autism is autism! And in your research, you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at that! Now get out of my sight!}}

Due to his lack of research on Hans Aspergers' contribution to the understanding of autism, him twisting and cherrypicking what he did find out about Hans' research, and him failing to realize that Hans was autistic himself, Chris seems to view Hans as the culprit behind his and other autistics lack of appreciation from anyone, simply for naming a condition after himself and having it sounding like "[[McDonalds|Ass Burgers]]" in his juvenile mind, also somewhat failing to realize that Aspergers is only a part of the spectrum and not another name for it, and therefore takes great offense at it for no real reason.

===NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!===

{{Main|NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!}}

This public message from Chris is aimed primarily at Liquid Chris, but is also a message to the wider public and companies who Chris seems to think could stop Liquid from selling merchandise, when it's unlikely that they would even take his side. Chris employs a number of tendencies mentioned in this page throughout the video, but obviously, none more prevalent than threats and blind hatred.

Chris, notably, babbles and stutters a lot less when making this video than some of his more relaxed orations, but can have some serious problems when his mind wanders or has particular trouble with a sentence. A notable example of Chris having a stuttering problem is at the 0:46 section, where an attempt to use staccato-like phrasing to get across his point powerfully, it seems to backfire as he forgets which order the words are meant to be in:

{{quotebox|Stop - that - brown - striped - in - the... shirt... with the paper medallion!}}

====Threats and Ad Hominems====

Chris, throughout this video, is very impassioned and aroused, and is neither subtle nor eloquent, his performance style involves a lot of hand waving, raised voices and lots of threats and insults. Chris first makes the threat of suing Liquid, this is assuming that he has grounds to sue, and for that he would need more than the copyright registration of "electronic files" named Sonichu.<ref>[[Chris and copyright]]</ref> Other than the very empty threat of legal issues, Chris also makes a vary vague death threat, in the form of "DIE, YOU!" and also attempts to use black magic to put a curse on Liquid Chris.

It should come as no surprise that merely yelling "You are the IMPOSTER!" is not a valid argument, and is simply used as an intimidation tactic to get Liquid to voluntarily stop selling Sonichu merchandise, but Chris seems to believe that Liquid can and should go to jail for his actions. Although "DIE, YOU!" is technically a death threat, it is very unlikely that Chris will make an attempt on Liquid's life, and doesn't even seem to really be threatening to do so, just telling him to die is a little too vague.

====False Equivalencies====

Chris, in this oration, uses false equivalency liberally in his rhetoric, causing many confusing moments and points. The first being his copyright on Sonichu, which is not a trademark, is a grounds to sue Liquid. Admittedly, it is generally accepted that Chris is too [[naïve]] to realise that he has no legal grounds to make such a threat, but it is a false equivalency, nevertheless.

The second false equivalency is that Chris having sent Nintendo a letter and given them "over five thousand dollars" means that Nintendo know who Chris is and will be willing to stop Liquid from selling Sonichu merchandise.

The third false equivalency is that the true creator of Sonichu is the one with his address, his phone number, and his parents, this also counts as a circular argument, by the way, so that's a double logical fallacy.

The fourth is somewhat similar to the second, but Chris also claims that [[ego|the company of Nintendo had known him his whole lifetime]] because he bought stuff from them; Chris even claims that Nintendo would kick Liquid out!

The fifth false equivalency is that Liquid should have the police called on him by companies or his fanbase and thrown in jail to rot, even though it is very unlikely that Liquid would ever make enough money to get life in jail by selling Sonichu merchandise.

==Activism==

Being an opinionated and even confrontational person around the subjects that he is very passionate about, Chris has engaged in many campaigns on the many platforms that are available. Chris has been observed to conduct activism for a number of subjects, from local issues about saving McIntire Park,<ref>[[McIntire Park]]</ref> to international issues about Sonic's arm color.<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests]]</ref> Chris is pro-active about protecting the things he loves (except [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]</ref>).

===Twitter campaigns===

Twitter is one of the many public platforms that Chris uses as his soapbox to speak to the world, the 280 character limit can't stop Chris, as he'll sometimes make a thread which is a longer speech, comprised of many linked tweets. These are used especially prevalently in his Twitter campaigns, in these, Chris will use his platform to deliver rhetorical pieces on certain issues he is rallying behind. These are mostly triggered by trolling, being blocked or because someone hasn't followed his orders, no matter if it's an individual, or a company.

====#HarassCWCDirectly====

[[File: PlanetDolanHarrassment.png|thumb]]

{{Main|HarassCWCdirectly}}

On 1 August, 2017, Chris made a post for National Girlfriend Day, where he gathered up all of the gal-pals he had made on Twitter. In this particular post, he tagged [[Planet Dolan]] voice actress and artist, [[DoopieDoOver]], whose Twitter posts Chris replied to on a regular basis. Doopie, seemingly unsettled by Chris's possible labelling of her as a gal-pal and using the pet name "Darling", made it clear to Chris that she is a stranger to him and that he should back off. Despite this obvious message, Chris took it as meaning that Doopie won't befriend Chris because of her influence with the trolls, rather than because of his inappropriate behavior. Chris then came to the conclusion that Doopie wanted to stay away from him because his trolls were supposedly harassing her and the rest of the Planet Dolan crew. Chris, upset that the trolls were supposedly trolling his new friend, created the hashtag campaigns "#HarassCWCDirectly" and "#Don'tHarassMe" the next day to direct all of the trolls that were trolling Doopie to him, and even made a video scolding the trolls for harassing other people for their enjoyment. Because of Doopie eventually blocking him, Chris retired the hashtag on 4 August, 2017.

====#BlockTheTrolls====

{{main|BlockTheTrolls}}

On 28 August, 2017, after being stressed out by his conversation with [[LadyOfTheCosmo]], Chris, [[Chris and kindness|thinking he is no way responsible for the bad things that happen to him]], made a post regarding how the trolls have recently made him "feel off". After making this post, he made a long-winded speech about how good should rule over the evil that is the trolls. He eventually followed the Twitter Hashtag #BlockTheTrolls.

His arguments mostly consisted of false equivalencies, he compared himself to a hero defending the Twitter user he liked, attempting to invoke emotion by naming heroes like Sailor Moon and Optimus Prime.<ref name="bttc">[[BlockTheTrolls#Campaign]]</ref> In reality, Chris was more like an affectionate and enthusiastic dog with fleas coming into someones house, and getting very confused and angry when he was thrown out. Chris is confused about why he would be rejected, when the person could just comb all the fleas out, but the fleas reproduce and get everywhere, and Chris simply isn't worth keeping. This gaping flaw in his argument causes the speech to fall flat, resulting in 80% of people voting in a poll he made, that it was the correct choice to just block Chris, as it is easier.<ref name="bttc"></ref>

====My Little Pony Protests====

{{main|My Little Pony Protests}}

On 13 August 2018, after Hasbro announced that their popular children's show, [[My Little Pony]], would end their fourth generation TV show, Friendship is Magic, and proceed onto a fifth generation, Chris, believing that he had [[Chris and reality|prophesied]] that there would be five more seasons of FIM, started protesting against it. His rhetoric here is frankly awful, not only is he appealing to authority, but he's appealing to HIS OWN authority, as a [[CPU]] and also an all powerful goddess. However, Chris thought that this was a very good argument, and it would be if he actually was an all powerful being, but unfortunately Hasbro has yet to respond to this protest.

Some examples of poor rhetoric include:

{{quotebox|I have seen a future that we must prevent: My Little Pony Generation Five.}}

Nobody will take this level of reasoning seriously

{{quotebox|I just did a reset to prevent that from happening.}}

You are unable to rewrite the canon of a TV show by saying something, and it is frankly ridiculous that Chris thinks that he should have this level of power in his fictional universe.

{{quotebox|CPU Blue Heart Commands it so as well, in agreement with Princess Celestia.}}

Appeal to the authority of an OC and a character that Hasbro created, neither of whom exist.

{{quotebox|Reboots HURT the original very bad. Reboots stunts Growth of the Original.}}

More baseless and factually incorrect information, note that Chris uses the words hurt and growth here in the sense of affecting a living being, not just that reboots of shows make the original worse.

Chris often mentions that Equestria will be damaged or hurt, and he wants G4 to continue for it's safety, but it is a very poor veil hiding his true desire: to not have anything change about Equestria, since it undermines his delusional views on how [[C-197]] and fictional characters work.

===Facebook Campaigns===

Before Chris started using Twitter as his main platform, Chris used [[Facebook]] as his public platform, in the months and years after he stopped making YouTube videos as much when [[Bob]] died. Chris, using this platform, started a few campaigns about the things he was very concerned with at this time in his life, in the early [[tomgirl]] stages.

====Sonic Boom Protests====

{{main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

In late [[2014]], it was revealed that the latest iteration of [[Sonic]]: Sonic Boom, would depict Sonic as having blue arms, as opposed to the usual tan color, which was integral to Sonic's iconic design. Despite the non-canon nature of this game and series, Chris took serious issue with the nature of the redesign. Chris [[Death threats|wrote letters]] and took [[26 December 2014|physical action]] during his campaign, but also conducted a campaign on Facebook.

In his speeches, Chris will often use CAPITAL LETTERS to portray shouting, these parts are often where he is at his most rhetorically inept. For example, this is an example of why Chris says [[Sega]] should waste lots of money on a recall of the whole Sonic Boom franchise:

{{quotebox|SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!!}}

Chris calls for boycotts and mass calling campaigns among the masses to get Sega to recall the franchise, and if you're not sure whether or not Chris is calling for this, and expects Sega to comply explicitly because he doesn't like it, this is what he recommends people say:

{{quotebox|The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis.}}

Yes, Chris thought and expected that everyone was angry about the color of Sonic's arm because specifically he didn't like it. It doesn't seem to matter to him whether other people like it or not, and this has an extremely negative effect on his rhetoric and ability to communicate. This position of severe [[narcissism]] often alienates Chris's audience in his speeches, this and Chris's tendency to issue death threats eventually caused him to be thrown out of his own Facebook group.<ref>[[Keep_Sonic_Original#Chris_is_kicked_out|Chris is kicked out]]</ref> After starting a new Facebook group, these alienating and polarising speeches further caused Chris to be pushed back by those who agreed that Sonic's arms should stay tan, eventually calling the campaign a "success" when in the next Sonic game, his arms went back to tan, despite this not being the goal of the campaign.

====Brassieres For Males====

{{main|Brassieres For Males}}

In mid to late [[2013]], Chris created a Facebook page on which to campaign about making brassieres socially acceptable and encouraged for men to wear. Chris, while not really giving a very good reason for wanting to do so, does however show his best display of rhetoric throughout his campaigns, presumably due to the help of somebody else. His reasoning and thought processes are well set out and developed, thanks to the page's administrators, who were helping Chris's arguments become more well put.

For example, the original about page was very well considered and offered many convincing reasons that it should be socially acceptable, such as:

{{quotebox|--Sports bras prevent the chafing commonly experienced by joggers.

--Bras can provide support and relief for the wearer's chest and back.

--Some conditions cause males to develop larger breasts, which is often a cause of embarrassment. Bras designed for males (or sports bras in the appropriate size) can flatten or lessen the appearance of male breasts and help the wearer feel more confident. (Many males wear undershirts to accomplish this purpose, often with sub-optimal results.)

--Some males enjoy wearing brassieres as an expression of gender or sexual identity. Though this is a valid use, it is not the focus of this page.

--Anyone who wants to wear a bra, for whatever reason, should be free to do so!}}

This very well thought out and thought provoking set of reasons was almost certainly not said by Chris, but it is a good backdrop, on which to contrast the direction in which Chris takes the page once the administrators stop controlling him as much and Chris uses some of his fallacies and confusing diction. For instance this quote, which is extremely bewildering:

{{quotebox|Ryan Gosling wears a man bra. Okay so maybe he doesn't. BUT WE CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE}}

Rather than appealing to people that social acceptance of men wearing bras is a good thing, he's merely asserting that it is socially acceptable already by appealing to authority, and then suggesting that we can't know for sure means we should consider it as acceptable already. That's three fallacies in a very short passage.

In late [[2014]], when the page was picked back up by Chris after a long hiatus, Chris didn't have the administrators to help him at all, and so quickly devolved into something vastly different, and didn't last very long, proving that the campaign was really over by this point. He came out as transsexual and told men they should wear skirts as well as bras, these arguments weren't quite as well formulated.

==In the comic==

[[File:SchuComic8P30.jpg|200 px|thumbnail|Apparently, drawing a pickle on a fictional female character is a form of treason.]]

At some points in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], many of the characters will give a speech regarding their opinions on the current situation. Other times, Chris will use these same comics to write speeches of his own. The comics turn out to be a very good source for learning about Chris's orating skills. Chris often displays many of the rhetorical devices outlined in this page, favouring distortions of reality that suggest that people he doesn't like are worse than they really are, and that he is more virtuous than he actually is. He uses a lot of ad hominems, which merely serve to make Chris appear to be a more vindictive and egotistical character than he would like his readers to believe.

For example, towards the end of [[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|Episode 17]] in [[Sonichu 8]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] gives a speech about how [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is not only triggering Chris by giving [[Rosechu]] a [[pickle]], but how doing so somehow also drags both his and other United States citizens through the mud, even though Rosechu is not a political figure. This is an example of Chris using [[Wikipedia:False equivalence|False equivalence]] to put the point across that it is immoral and illegal to portray Rosechu in this way. Chris also uses a rhetorical question which uses heavy extrapolation to imply that disagree with him is a dishonor to the country. Chris is also using a false appeal to patriotism, because drawing art of a fictional character has no bearing on the United States, and his attempt to suggest it does is disingenuous.

Chris occasionally will lose focus and go off on a quite drastic, jarring tangent, by providing extensive exposition about something.<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 8.jpg|Such as this page]] where Jamsta tells us way too much about [[CWCville]].</ref> This really ruins the flow of his speeches, and makes the point less poignant and [[punchy]]. Ultimately, pacing suffers a lot in the speeches of Sonichu due to these errors.

==See also==

*[[Chris and politics]]
*[[Chris and English#The spoken word|Speaking problems]]
*[[Speech impediment]]

==References==

<references/>

{{PoliticalVideos}}
{{Chris and}}

April 2008

2026-10-13T04:05:33Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|On '''4 April 2008''', [[Chris]] gets a one month ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]].]]

'''April''' was the fourth month of [[2008]]. It was very quiet compared to the tumultuous [[March 2008|last month]], but it saw Megan sending her final e-mails to Chris and officially cutting all ties with him. Chris also landed himself with a [[ban]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]], but luckily for him it was only for 2 weeks.

==Events==
* '''4 April''' - Chris gets banned from the GAMe PLACe by [[Michael Snyder]] for two weeks, on the grounds that he had been going into the back of the store unauthorized. The actual reason was that Chris was scaring away customers with his behavior.<ref name="lucas">[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>
* '''18 April'''
** Chris's ban from the GAMe PLACe expires, and he returns. [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Megan doesn't want to talk to him]].
** In an email, Chris begs Megan to renew their friendship.
* '''21 April''' - Megan firmly states that she can't trust Chris. This ends their [[Megan emails, 2008|email correspondence]].

{{references}}
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

Chris and manipulation

2026-10-13T03:51:38Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|For every trolling saga, there was a bunch of stuff happening in the background. [Chris's] reactions on youtube were highly inflated by troll girlfriends whispering shit to him behind the scenes. "Oh Chris, you're not just going to take that, are you? Chris, I need a man who can stand up for himself, not just a little wuss..." It takes quite a bit to whip Chris up into a frenzy. And it's hard to keep it going.|[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] on how trolls manipulated Chris into performing in many of his rage videos.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Marvin on how the Miscreants trolled Chris]]</ref>}}

{{quote|something like 90% of what got Chris to make the videos he did was never made public.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Marvin on lost content regarding the trolling of Chris]]</ref>}}

[[File:TheChrisChanShow.png|300px|thumb|A sneak peek of ''The Chris-Chan Show''.]]

'''Manipulation''' is a psychological tactic aimed at taking advantage of someone in order for them to perform a specific action. This has been a key technique used by Chris's [[trolls]], his [[enablers]], and his [[mother]].

==Behind the scenes of trolling==
{{quote|Trolling is necessary for Chris to be as funny as everyone expects him to be. People don't like to hear this because they want to believe Chris is a crazy, three ring circus of fun, 24/7. But he's really not. He's got his moments, but he's a phenomenon that needs to be curated if you want to experience the old school trolling days.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-3601927</ref>}}

One of Chris's former trolls, [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]], has often posted on [[Kiwi Farms]] describing how trolls manipulated Chris behind the scenes. Hundreds of hours worth of calls between Chris and the trolls took place - much of it never released.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-never-ceases-to-amaze-you-about-chris.14928/post-1143244</ref> Information was also omitted on the [[CWCki]], which several trolls were members of, to paint a funnier picture of Chris; a side-effect of which has created a skewed impression of him to fans. Trolls would intentionally obscure their true identities, even from each other, and many would even change core details to further confuse those who seek to [[dox]] them. For example, [[Clyde Cash]] was originally meant to be a plain-but-successful Asian American guy, but this image was later replaced with a ''guido'' stereotype, and everyone went along with it.

In the background calls, people would plant ideas in Chris's head and goad him into making videos. One such example is [[Twin Falling Towers]], a 2009 video in which Chris invoked the 9/11 tragedy to diss Clyde Cash. The Man in the Pickle Suit described how the trolls talked to Chris behind the scenes to get him to make the video as:

{{quoteboxgreen|be sure to mention that you think he's weak! call him weak, like some sort of big disaster, like a bridge collapsing. ooh, or compare him to 9/11! that'll embarrass him!<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/idea-guy-joshua-wise-manipulating-the-intellecutally-disabled-for-fun-megathread.37132/post-2831215</ref>}}

For a decade or so, people assumed he came up with the 9/11 video on his own volition, painting an image of an [[USA|unpatriotic]] ingrate. It didn't help that his apology video involved photoshopping the Twin Towers into candles, basically depicting the buildings on fire. Whether this apology video was staged or not is unknown. Later, [[Kacey]]'s father brought up the video in the infamous [[Father Call]], claiming he had to dig his mother out of the towers' remains.

Other examples include [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]], a set of videos in which Chris lambasted a completely genuine ''Sonichu'' fan (trolls had planted the idea in his head that she was secretly a troll)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-made-you-most-angry-at-chris.1638/page-4#post-100715</ref>; the [[Cwcsicle]] video in which he jammed his penis in the snow<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-if.662/post-281887</ref>; and the [[Liquid Chris]] saga (Chris originally didn't want to react to Liquid, but the trolls forced his hand with artificial reasons)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-2787176</ref>

Trolls also exploited their knowledge of Chris's psychology to goad him to get angry in his videos:

{{quoteboxgreen|Chris usually reacts to a specific stimulus, and has a short memory about those sorts of things. Like a goldfish. So in any video where Chris is specifically trying to act like Johnny Bravo, that was almost always in response to a request by us no older than 24 hours. We would hype Chris up about how he's being called a pussy, and how if he doesn't make a video soon, he'll lose the rights to Sonichu.<ref name=hype>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/post-1777477</ref>}}

The difference in style between videos produced by trolls and videos Chris records on his own initiative supports the point. Troll-produced videos tend to be short, succinct, and feature Chris making a fool of himself. Chris recording on his own tends to bore his audience by rambling about his own interests like toys or his fantasy world.

===The Truman Show===
[[File:16-17_08_11_Trollsome_scheming.jpg|thumb|[[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and another troll devise a new plan in which animators want to make a Sonichu cartoon in order to get him to write a script.]]

Chris's situation with the trolls has been compared to ''[[wikipedia:The Truman Show|The Truman Show]]'', a fictional film in which the main character is unaware he is living in a reality TV show, surrounded by improv actors, hidden cameras, and a conspiracy to hide the reality of a controlled environment. Chris's situation reflects Truman's, as he has been manipulated by trolls for the sole purpose of making him into a spectacle for online mockery, and many of his ostensibly private interactions have been unwittingly shared with the world. The only real difference is that Chris installed the [[PSEye|cameras]] himself.

Similar to how actors populate Truman's world while posing as trusted loved ones, undercover trolls posed as Chris's friends for years. They controlled access to Chris - when one sweetheart saga ended, another potential sweetheart would contact Chris, and he would ask his "friends" to vet them. The undercover trolls would confirm to Chris that the sweetheart could be trusted, thus continuing the cycle of trolling.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-1927508</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-2923839</ref>

One such undercover troll is [[LoveYouLongTime]], the woman behind [[Emily]],<ref name=lylt>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Multiple Roles and Facial Blindness]]</ref> [[Kim Wilson]],<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Emily and Kim Personas]]</ref> and several other undisclosed personas. She lives locally to Chris, and she has met him in real life where she has gained his trust. Due to the severity of Chris's [[autism]]-related [[facial blindness]], he was unable to recognize her face whenever she would meet him in town.<ref name=lylt></ref> She then exploited this weakness to trick Chris into believing he has multiple gal-pals he can trust when, in reality, all are played by a single undercover troll.

===Boiling frog fable===
In the years post-2011, Chris has become increasingly vulnerable to the concept of '[[wikipedia:creeping normality|creeping normality]]', often represented through the fable of the boiling frog, which states that by slowly heating a pot of water with a frog inside to a boil, the frog will not recognize itself being cooked alive, as opposed to immediately tossing it in the boiling water, in which case it would [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quickly jump out]]. In a manner similar to the boiling frog, Chris is increasingly unable to recognize when he is the target of manipulation without being told outright by others that said manipulation has taken place. In 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] manipulated Chris in ways darker than had ever been attempted before, including systematically dismantling [[CWCVille|his imaginary world]] and [[Sonichu (species)|its cast]] [[Rosechu (species)|of characters]], engaging in criminal extortion against him, and accusing Chris of [[Pedofork|pedophilia]] if he didn't play along with them (see "Overview" section). Chris was gaslit to the point of completely believing everything the Idea Guys said to him.

While the efforts of the [[Guard Dogs]] minimally restored Chris's self-awareness to the point that he will level angry asides at the Idea Guys for their extortion in his videos, as demonstrated in those during the [[Soft Exile]] saga, Chris still wholeheartedly believes in modifications the Idea Guys made to both the Sonichu canon and real world aspects of Chris's life. He appears from the outside to be no longer able to discern this 'new normal' from that which came before it, thus being affected by creeping normality.

===Social engineering===
{{quote|Chris believes in crazy tv hacker stereotypes. That's why we always so easily told him we hacked into his phone or his email and blamed all our leaks on that. Our various troll girlfriends got away, scot-free.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/minor-victories-for-chris.2503/post-151544</ref>}}

Trolls exploit Chris's [[naive]] nature to gain access to his accounts in order to leak emails or videos. After gaining Chris's trust via an internet persona, they would ask for access to Chris's accounts and blame the resulting trolling on hackers. Chris would then change his password while simply handing the e-girlfriend/Sonichu character the new one since he still trusted them.

This practice came to a farcical head during the [[Teen Troon Squad]] saga, when the Squad and [[Guard Dogs]] factions engaged in a tug-of-war over Chris. The Squad would log into Chris's accounts and post "information" from [[Magi-Chan]] about the [[Dimensional Merge]], and the Guard Dogs, also having Chris's passwords, countered with their own "information" trying to lead Chris away from thinking about the Merge. This conflict caused confusion in Chris, who wanted to trust both sides.

===Blocking help===
[[Marvin]] explained how the [[Miscreants]] group of trolls had isolated Chris from help:

{{quoteboxgreen|White knights were subverted. Their messages blocked, deleted before Chris could see them. If they got through, trolls would leak their conversations with Chris and accuse the helper of being the culprit. Trolls had a vise-like grip on Chris and that only loosened when they willingly gave up when Bob died. [...]

But even if the conversation of who is or isn't a troll comes up with Chris, he's still not playing on level ground.

Someone accuses Julie of being a troll. Julie says she's not a troll. Who should Chris pick?

What if it's two people saying Julie's not a troll? Three? Four? Some of Chris' IRL friends saying she's not a troll? Almost every person in his life?

When people try to help Chris, he's not knowingly throwing that help away. He cannot identify help. There's a platter with 20 different options, and one of those options is help, the rest are people trying to fuck him over.

The numbers are not in Chris' favor.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/video-of-chris-at-lukass-house.51525/post-4134037</ref>}}

===Chris in-between the trolling===
{{quote|Without stimuli like the trolls [goading him to get angry], Chris just kind of fell back into his natural state: being a manchild, playing with toys, and wanting his heartsweet to take care of him.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref name=hype></ref>}}

Since his discovery by the internet in [[2007]], there have been times when activity fell to the point that Chris was temporarily without manipulation from trolls or enablers. Left to his own devices, Chris would drop off the internet and concentrate on the real world instead.

{{quote|We held him online. If someone's not actively compelling Chris to do stupid stuff online, he slides off.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/search/2705605/?q=slides&c[users]=Marvin&o=relevance</ref>}}

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|200px|Chris experiencing anxiety and paranoia nearly a year after the classic troll conspirators released him from his Truman Show experience.]]

An example of this can be seen in Chris's internet activity following his [[father]]'s death. At that point, the classic troll cabal voluntarily relinquished its control over Chris to allow him to grieve. As a direct result, Chris stopped recording wacky videos online (hence the abrupt end of the [[Calling Out]] saga).

The troll experience has left Chris with lingering suspicion and paranoia as to the motives of others, and he has occasionally posted on social media channels about how he suspects people offline of being trolls, albeit without any real evidence. Chris gradually socialized in the real world again, such as hanging out at the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] and with his [[Pokémon League friends]], although this respite was interspersed with the beginning of modern trolls such as [[Catherine]] and the [[Lady Managers]] who, again, manipulated Chris back into his Truman Show existence.

The [[Business]], [[Financhu Crisis]], and [[Idea Guys]] sagas were a paradigm shift from Chris's tendency to slide offline without troll influence to a new Chris, increasingly online by his own volition.

==Chris's mother==
[[Barb]] is often blamed for being Chris’s original and most persistent [[enabler]], and it is likely that her coddling gave Chris his [[Chris and his ego|puerile and egocentric attitude]]. She is also deemed by Christorians to be the one responsible for Chris constantly taking orders from random strangers without giving it a second thought. In the past, some of Barb's attempts at controlling Chris were nothing short of outright emotional abuse. Examples include threatening to lock Chris out of the house and leave him homeless if he dared travel further than a few miles out of town after the [[Ohio Trip]], as well as feigning cardiac arrest to bring Chris into line, terrifying him to the point of calling 911 on several occasions.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref>

Perhaps the most notable incident involving this sort of manipulation took place in 2011; Chris had planned to visit that year's [[MAGfest]] convention, but realized that he didn't have enough of his [[monthly tugboat]] left to afford a hotel room, so he instead opted to sleep in his car. After informing his parents of his plans, Barb gaslit him into backpedalling, firstly by claiming he could be at risk from a combination of criminals and cold temperatures, then by again threatening to leave him homeless, and finally by implying that she would [[Chris and Death|commit suicide]] if Chris went to the convention. A distraught Chris cancelled his plans and received only further guilt tripping (and a [[Video games|video game]]) as consolation.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>

==Manipulation techniques==
{{Protip|The methods listed here are for documenting common techniques used by trolls. Do not attempt any of these.}}

As shown above, after gaining Chris's trust, it isn’t particularly difficult to get him to do many things he wouldn't normally do. There is a three-step process that most trolls and enablers use:

#'''Appeasement''': Give Chris an offer for something he’d really want or feed into Chris’s beliefs.
#'''Instructions''': Provide Chris with over-the-top steps he can take to take the offer or so that he can roleplay with you.
#'''Betrayal''': Watch him do it, and betray him. Then watch the result of said betrayal. Rinse, Dry, and Repeat.

As an example, Chris’s history of being manipulated began with him being tricked into crawling into a tight space by childhood friend [[Sarah Hammer]] when she told him that she found Casper the Friendly Ghost there. Sarah simply noticed that Chris had a fascination with cartoon characters being real, and knew this was the perfect opportunity to give Chris the offer of meeting him in person ('''Appeasement'''). She then told him that he could see Casper if he crawled into the hole ('''Instructions'''). Finally, she locked him in and began watching the events that would follow ('''Betrayal''').

During the [[Saga|Classic Era]], this technique would be used by many trolls, such as [[Blanca Weiss]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], and even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|a bunch of trolls posing as Nintendo staff]]. In the case of Blanca, the trolls behind the pseudonym simply realized that Chris really wanted a significant other to complete his [[Love Quest]] and finally get some [[china]], so they used Chris's desperate pleas to complete this mission to obtain his medallions ('''Appeasement'''). Afterwards, they insisted that Chris give them the medallion if he wanted Blanca for himself ('''Instructions'''). Finally, they destroyed the medallion in many ways, from cutting it with a knife and hitting it with a hammer, to setting it on fire and submerging the broken pieces into a jar of pickles ('''Betrayal''').

The most illegal and life-changing use of this technique to date is from Chris's most infamous enablers, the [[Idea Guys]]. After a long string of supernatural beliefs and creepy behaviors being displayed by Chris during his comeback, a troll by the name of Joshua Wise noticed his complete lack of self-awareness and wanted to see how deep the rabbit hole would go. Wise would then appeal to many of Chris's fantasies by roleplaying as several of his characters ('''Appeasement'''). Afterwards, he tasked him to do a number of nonsensical tasks such as having him [[Dick Licker; that is I|lick a drawing of Magi-chain's penis on a wall]], and having him [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|destroy a Christmas tree]], telling him it was Nazi merchandise ('''Instructions'''). The Betrayal part of this would come from the proposed humiliation that Chris would subject himself to. Even after he was doxed and shut down for a while, he (along with several others), would use this technique repeatedly until they went as far as extorting large sums of money from him and falsely reporting him to the FBI for being a pedophile, among other things ('''Betrayal''').

A less common means that people have found to manipulate him is through this same process but in reverse. This method is a favorite among his mother.

#'''Threats''': Tell Chris that if he does or does not do something, you will do something undesirable that will happen to him.
#'''Instructions''': Tell him that, in order to prevent the undesirable thing from happening, he has to cancel all plans and instead take part in someone else's whims.
#'''Betrayal/Reward''': Reward him for doing what he has been told to further strengthen his trust in you. Or, you can just betray him anyway. Rinse, Dry, and Repeat.

===Validation===
Some manipulation involves giving Chris validation over his pre-existing feelings and beliefs, which influences him further. Examples include the unknown enabler who told him to get in touch with his feminine side and influenced him into identifying as a [[tomgirl]]; the [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos, and the people who commented in them, who influenced Chris into [[Self-inflicted taint wound|believing his taint was transforming into a vagina]]; and the [[Idea Guys]], who exploited his beliefs about alternate [[dimensions]] in order to influence and shape those beliefs further, culminating in Chris's pseudo-religious belief over the [[Dimensional Merge]].

==Reasons why Chris is so gullible==
===Mental Deficiencies===
A common aspect of [[autism]] spectrum conditions is an increased level of gullibility; those on the spectrum are often more openly trusting of others, willing to put aside suspicion to follow what someone says, even in situations which could put them at risk. Chris also appears to have some degree of both [[wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|face blindness]] and [[wikipedia:Phonagnosia|difficulty recognizing voices]], which are also common (though not universal) autism symptoms.

Chris has been fooled by numerous personas operated by the same person; an example of this is Chris wholeheartedly believing the person behind [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the [[Calling out]] Saga to be Ahuviya Harel (ADF), even though the two neither sounded nor looked alike, as well as Chris believing [[Kim Wilson]] to be a different person from [[Emily]], even though the latter presented herself to Chris as the former on several occasions, even in face to face meetings where Chris should have been able to tell the difference had he not been experiencing this impaired recognition. Furthermore, [[Julie]] was a 13-year-old boy using an obvious falsetto voice, yet Chris believed "her" to sound 100% female, even when [[BlueSpike|the actor]] forgot to mask his voice.

===Enablers & Lack of Independence===
Chris isn't very independent. He relies on the [[tugboat|government]] and his [[Barb|mother]] to pay the bills, and still ends up in [[debt]]. While he has made [[Pokémon League friends|real-life friends]] in the past, the [[Idea Guys]] saga led him to alienate them in mid-[[2018]]. Nowadays, he prefers to surround himself with online [[enablers]] who play into his every escapist fantasy, in turn gaining his trust. Chris's dependence on other people, especially his enablers, has actually made him more susceptible to being manipulated, as all of his trust is simply put into them without any second thoughts. He is also highly susceptible to peer pressure and fitting in with others' opinions.

Chris’s gullible, overly trusting nature and desire for contact mean that he has often been drawn to consider others friends, even if they’re acquaintances at best or simply attempting to get close for malicious reasons at worst. Even though he would often curse and even wish death on trolls, in recorded voice chats with them he would often appear to be quite receptive and active in such conversations, as long as the others did not cross the “Hurtful Truth Level”, in which case he would become hostile in return. From an outside perspective, Chris’s isolation has also resulted in making him vulnerable to manipulation techniques as a result of his attempts at seeking out people beyond the hoard-choked halls of [[14BC]].

===Lack of Self-Awareness===
Chris lacks self-awareness and a sense of boundaries, whether for himself or for others. He has no filter, a trait which he calls [[Honest Content|honesty]]. He will tell you embarrassing, private matters when you first meet him, including his former [[virgin]]ity, his story about how pinkeye gave him [[heterochromia|differently-colored eyes]], and even his tendency to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]]. Once someone gains his trust, he will reveal even more personal information, most of which an average person wouldn't even reveal to a ''psychologist''. Trolls collate the information and leak it to the general public, where it ends up on [[Kiwi Farms|forums]], YouTube videos, and this fine Wiki.

This lack of self-awareness may also be another symptom of his autism. Usually, this manifests as generally innocuous things, like being unable to regulate the volume of one's voice to match the social setting, or being unable to recognize non-verbal social cues when communicating with other people. In more severe cases like Chris however, his lack of social awareness can come across as [[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007|tone-deaf]] at best, or [[Megan emails, 2008|a threat to one's safety]] at worst. Normally, this lack of self-awareness in a social sense can be minimized or outright "cured" with the proper resources (e.g. special education and the right therapist), [[Chris and mental healthcare|but we all know how that turned out]].

===His Self-Entitlement===

Another massive flaw that makes Chris easy to manipulate is his [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] and resulting entitlement, so long as he takes a procedure or simply whines about it long enough. Many of the cases where he had been manipulated involved the manipulator noticing this fundamental character flaw, and therefore bribing him with gifts and promises of self-fulfillment. The bribes could be anything from promises of romance to a [[Miyamoto|video game publishing deal]] – as long as it's something Chris wants, trolls will use it as bait. However, this also has a tendency to backfire, as Chris always believes he is entitled to more, and will take a gift and then turn around and ask for another.

===General Short-sightedness===

Chris repeatedly falls victim to the SuperStraight effect, where someone will provide a quick rebuttal to a point and lose ground to the wider argument. In SuperStraight's case, they inadvertently corroborated the claims that trans women are women by creating a separate sexuality from straight for those who aren't attracted to them. Likewise, Chris will regularly talk himself into various corners by agreeing to various outlandish claims merely because he was pressured to accept certain points as fact to continue the conversation. This is how you can get him to finally admit Liquid's [[Honest content | TRUE and honest]] name really is "Chris" and not "Jeff", then "[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]", then "Christian Weston Chandler" (but he was given that name and not renamed by an [[Christopher's name change | animatronic bear]]), and so on theoretically forever.

==See Also==
*[[Enablers]]
*[[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris]]
*[[Trolls]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Trolling]]

List of phrases Chris copied from media

2026-10-09T06:33:10Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{incomplete}}
It is no secret that Chris spends a [[Chris and health|healthy]] (well, unhealthy) portion of his day watching [[Chris and television|television shows]]. His preferences become apparent not only because he will constantly force you to listen to him talk about them, but also because Chris, in his infinite [[Things Chris has ripped off|originality]], likes to take phrases and sentences from shows and use them verbatim in his everyday [[Chris and English|speech]]. As a sequel to the [[CWC-isms]] page, this article attempts to list all of these occurrences, especially those he has used repeatedly.
__NOTOC__
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>
==A==
;And now for something completely different
<blockquote>
*Source: Chris sometimes says this, or at least tries to, whenever he changes the subject or is about to give some [[random-access humor]]. Used in [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[CWCFlyingElephants]], and [[CLog 04012026 - A Confession]] among other times. 
*Origin: John Cleese on ''[[Monty Python]]'s Flying Circus''. 
</blockquote>

==B==
;Bad, bad Leroy Brown
<blockquote>
*Source: Randomly said by Chris to describe the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref>
*Origin: {{w|Jim Croce}}'s {{w|Bad, Bad Leroy Brown|hit song}} of the same name.
</blockquote>

;Bad luck and extreme misfortune
<blockquote>
*Source: Describing the effects of the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: ''Rocko's Modern Life'', "Fortune Cookie": Filburt's fortune cookie reads "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" 
</blockquote>

;Blocky low resolution
<blockquote>
*Source: When referring to ''Asperchu'''s inferiority, e.g. [[Mailbag 41]], [[Mailbag 42|42]], [[Mailbag 43|43]] and [[Mailbag 45|45]] 
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]", referring to the Low-Resolution Universe.
</blockquote>

;Breakin' my balls
<blockquote>
*Source: Said about something that gives him a lot of [[Chris and stress|stress]]. (This is actually a common phrase, but knowing Chris and his track record of [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarism]], he more than likely stole it from ''South Park''.)
*Origin: ''[[South Park]]'', "[[Wikipedia:Kenny Dies|Kenny Dies]]": Cartman tries to start a business selling aborted fetuses to stem cell research laboratories. When making deals over the phone, he says "Ugh, you're breakin' my balls man. Got 'em in a vice grip, here." 
</blockquote>



==C==

;Captain's Log

<blockquote>
*Source: Practically every video before Chris' first exile began with "Captain's Log Stardate: (Current Date)".
*Origin: It is believed that Chris actually picked this up from ''Family Guy'', which constantly references ''Star Trek'', as Chris has stated numerous times that he never actually watched anything ''Star Trek''-related.
</blockquote>

==D==

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]], where he referred to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] as this.
*Origin: ''American Dad!'', "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]": A nickname that Hayley uses to refer to Steve, when playing "Dragon Scuffle".
</blockquote>



==G==

;George Washington Carver finding over 300 uses for peanuts (but not peanut butter)
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 53]]
*Origin: ''American Dad!'', "[[Wikipedia:Black Mystery Month|Black Mystery Month]]": The episode centered around an attempt to disprove [[Wikipedia:George Washington Carver|George Washington Carver]] as the inventor of peanut butter, and this quote ends the episode. It is likely from context this is his only experience with Black History Month
</blockquote>

;Grinds my gears
<blockquote>
*Source: The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality CWCipedia page on homosexuality]; [[Sonichu 9]], page 37; [[Mailbag 2]] 
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' "movie" ''[[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story]]'': Peter gets his own segment, "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?", talking about things that annoy him, or "grind [his] gears" 
</blockquote>

==I==

;I'm much saltier now
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Story of My Current Days]]; [[Sonichu 4]], sub-episode 6, page 3; [[Megan_emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris_talks_about_Crocs_and_how_he_was_kicked_out_of_the_library_for_soliciting_sex|2007 email]] to [[Megan]] Chris likes to say this to say that he's less [[naïve]] about sex than he was in high school thanks to porn. 
*Origin: ''Excel Saga'', "Bowling Girls" - Something Excel says to comment on her professional bowling training. 
</blockquote>

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>
*Source: [[CWC Update 9 April 2009]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
*Origin: ''{{w|Katamari Damacy}}''. Certain levels of the game involve rebuilding specific constellations, and when that's done, a human character from the story cutscenes will say, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;Insert rod "A" into slot "B"
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Sonichu 8]], Page 1
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Emission Impossible|Emission Impossible]]", said by Brian, reading the instructions to a crib that Peter is making for the other baby he and Lois expect to have. Peter responds "That's what sh--" and is then cut off by Brian saying, "If you say 'That's what she said' one more time, I'm gonna [[Fanta|pop]] you."
</blockquote>

;iPods down and listen up
<blockquote>
*Source: [[iPods Down and Listen Up]]
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prick_Up_Your_Ears_%28Family_Guy%29|Prick Up Your Ears]]", said by the principal of the high school. Also, Chris yelling "IN DA EAAAAYUR!" was taken from a line from Lois.
</blockquote>

;iRitz
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 51]]
*Origin: ''The Cleveland Show'', "[[Wikipedia:Love Rollercoaster|Love Rollercoaster]]": A joke in which Cleveland is Steve Jobs and invents the edible cellphone, the iRitz.
</blockquote>


==K==

;Kamehameha
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Parody|The inspiration]] for Chris's finishing move, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: A famous finishing attack from DragonBall Z 
</blockquote>


==N==

;naco

<blockquote>I made a '''Naco'''.😋<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris makes a Naco]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the ''Kim Possible'' episode “Bueno Nacho”, where Kim’s sidekick, Ron Stoppable, invents the “Naco”, a soft-shell taco filled with nachos. Chris apparently was inspired to make the dish after binge watching the series.

==O==

;One shall stand, one shall fall.
<blockquote>
*Source: Used in a speech he gave to Clyde Cash during the infamous [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where Chris revealed that he had numbers of pairs of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
*Origin: [[Optimus Prime]] has said this phrase several times to Megatron in the television series, as well as the ''Transformers'' movie from 2007.
</blockquote>



==S==

;Smoke um peace pipe.
<blockquote>
*Source: Chris said this while [[Wigwam|pretending to smoke]] [[tobacky]] with a pen.
*Origin: ''Futurama'', "Where the Buggalo Roam": The Martians in the episode offer a smoke from their peace pipe to the lead characters.
</blockquote>

;Shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear
<blockquote>
*Source: Threatened [[Clyde Cash]] with this line in the video [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]. 
*Origin: ''[[South Park]]'', "[[Wikipedia:Breast Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]]": Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight after the latter makes an extremely tasteless breast cancer joke. Cartman, not wanting to fight, tries to talk her out of it, but refuses to apologize for the joke publicly, prompting Wendy to threaten him with this line.
</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>
''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]''</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Taken from ''Sonic Adventure''.
</blockquote>


==U==
;uncouth

<blockquote>I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believed to have been picked up from an episode of ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'', where two of the characters, Applebloom and Applejack, are discussing what the word "uncouth" means.





==Y==
;You know what else else?

<blockquote>''You can kiss my foot! And '''you know what else else?'''''<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: ''SpongeBob SquarePants'', "Pizza Delivery", Squidward and SpongeBob wind up deserted in the middle of nowhere due to SpongeBob's bad driving skills. Squidward says: "Well, you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. And you know what else? We're in the middle of NOWHERE!". SpongeBob responds: "And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold."
</blockquote>

;You fucking suck so hard!
<blockquote>
*Source: Said by Chris to [[BlueSpike]] in [[Julie Reveals Herself]].
*Origin: See [[List of phrases Chris copied from media#S|"Shove your ass down your throat..."]].
</blockquote>



==References==
<references/>

==Navigation==

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Chris and electronics

2026-10-03T18:49:38Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Chris]] has had a long, arguably addictive relationship with '''electronics''' – yet he sometimes still struggles with their basic operation and maintenance.

His most important tool is arguably his computer. His window to the world, Chris uses it to connect to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], to talk with [[True and Loyal Fanbase|his fans]], and to promote his way of life. Needless to say, just like [[PSEye|everything else]] he owns, Chris manages to [[Chris and negligence|ruin]] it in some way, going through several over the years.

==Origins==
It's no secret that autistic people can excel when put behind a mouse and keyboard. Chris, the autistic challenge that he was, was introduced to computers as a toddler by his technically-inclined [[Robert Chandler|father]]. According to Chris, Bob led him into the digital world with a Commodore 64.<ref>[[Date with Catherine#Early video games]]</ref> In 2018, Chris, feeling nostalgic, dug out said Commodore 64 and [[I need some local C64 Tech Help, Please|requested help from his fans to repair it]]. While Chris's ludicrous claim that he started playing on the computer at six months is obviously false, he definitely started structuring his life around computers at a very young age and has never viewed reality without the filter of a PC.

Chris would go on to major in [[CADD]], combining his artistic interest with his attachment to the tool that made his saga possible. He dabbled in HTML after taking a relevant college course, surely feeling like an accomplished computer scientist in the process.

==Chris's equipment==

===Antique Technology===
[[File:Cedchan.jpeg|thumb|A CED player in the background of one of Chris's photos.]]

Chris has had experience with older bits of technology.

In a [[Warhol Tweets#Chris larps as his younger self|tweet]] from 1 June 2021, he discussed his early childhood. Part of the tweet mentioned that the Chandler family owned a {{w|Capacitance Electronic Disc}} player, which was a failed early-80s video format that worked in a similar fashion to vinyl records, but used plastic caddies for storage and loading the discs into the player. Chris still had the CED machine as late as 2005 - it can be seen in a photo of himself taken around that time. The CED player may have been destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]] assuming it was still in Chris's possession at the time.

Chris has also had a lengthy history with the CED's more successful competitor, VHS cassettes, having grown up when it was the dominant home video format, prior to the rise of an eventual supplanting by DVDs in the early 2000s. Much of the available footage we have of Chris prior to the mid-2000s came from videotapes.

* The videos on the [[Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD were transferred off of deteriorated VHS tapes, including [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|both of his]] [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|TV appearances]]. The photos were most likely scanned with a desktop scanner, and the quality of that scanner is so low that rainbow streaks are present on most slides.
* Chris also had a sizable collection of softcore porn recorded to videotape.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
* Chris is shown in [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004]] attempting to get his father to choose between a DVD or a (dubbed bootleg) VHS copy of ''Fraggle Rock''.
* In [[August 2016]], Chris attempted to sell his copy of Disney's ''Aladdin'' for a whopping ''$3,000'', under the incorrect guise that "Black Diamond" Disney tapes were worth a lot of money. In reality, this is only the price that some sellers are asking for; it's highly unlikely people are spending that much on ultra-common tapes that can be found at thrift stores for 50 cents.
* In Chris's [[Tour of Chris's House III|third house tour]], recorded on 9 [[March 2018]], he shows off boxes with old VHS tapes in them, saying they belonged to "Mr. C". These are likely the remaining VHS tapes in his collection that weren't lost in the [[house fire]].
* In [[August 2018]], [[Barb]] threw out a number of Chris's old VHS tapes, alongside his [[The Classic|classic T-shirt]]. Chris, in response, abused and humped a pillow effigy representing Barb in front of her.<ref>[[Teen Troon Squad chats]]</ref> It is unknown if Bob's VHS tapes were part of the dumping, but it's probably unlikely.
* Chris has a retro-themed [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] called [[OC|VHS]].

===Desktop computers===
As of 2010, Chris used his family's HP Pavilion desktop computer, located in his kitchen.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7#Transcript]]: "Chris: You know, for me, it can't, it, it came, I tried powering back on and then, and then the farthest it had gotten was just the introductory HP Pavilion blue screen."</ref> It ran [[Microsoft|Windows XP]], had a scanner and a printer (or perhaps a scanner/printer combo) that allowed him to scan [[Sonichu (comic)|comic pages]] and print [[Chris and art|artwork]], and had a version of [[Wikipedia:Adobe PhotoDeluxe|Adobe PhotoDeluxe]] installed on it,<ref>[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]] At around the 0:13 mark you can see the name of the program in his taskbar.</ref> which Chris primarily used to [[Chris and writing|type in text bubbles]] for his comics, or to [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|alter the truth]].<ref>[[Mumble 6#Music and Computers]]: "Julie: What Operating System do you have, W-Windows XP?; Chris: Yeah. [pause] Windosse [sic] XP."</ref> Since he had been able to connect to Mumble voice chats, and efficiently watch YouTube channels, it was presumed that Chris's computer also had a broadband [[internet]] connection, which was slightly rarer in rural areas at the time, but not unheard of.

===Laptop computers===
An [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|August 2011 video]], however, revealed that Chris had a new computer loaded with [[Microsoft|Windows 7]]. [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.|Another video]] confirmed it to be a hand-me-down HP laptop. Chris claimed that he had upgraded it, but further details are unknown. The laptop also has [[Wikipedia:Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]] and [[Wikipedia:iTunes|iTunes]] installed on it.<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts#Hold Back the Money]]</ref>

Most of Chris's computers appear to have survived the [[2014 house fire]], including his laptop and his upstairs PC, although some data was lost.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Post-fire assessment]]</ref> Chris used his [[iDea Book Case|iPhone]] to communicate with his [[White knights|fans]] on [[Facebook]] and upload videos to [[YouTube]] during his year of exile. The [[Rental House]] apparently had a computer and an internet connection, so it is possible that Chris used it as well.

[[File:Chris's laptop model.png|thumb|Chris's gaming laptop model.]]

As of 2017, Chris owns an Asus gaming laptop that he used for [[Live Drawing Streams]] and to play games on [[Steam]].

===Mobile computers and smartphones===
From at least the early 2010s, Chris has been a [[brand loyalty|loyal user]] of the iPhone. In 2013, he built the [[Idea Book Case]] to hold his iPhone 5 and two iPod Touches he'd switch out for different content. He used the iPhone for anything requiring cell service, and the iPods for media and light computing. As of [[May 2018]], Chris has [[2 Phones|two identical iPhones]], one for [[Chris and business|business]], and the other for personal calling. He had taken a Lease One, Get One deal to acquire them and prioritized paying a down payment for them over the house [[mortgage]].<ref>[[Captain DMs#Money worries and 2 Phones]]</ref> As of 2021, his phone number for personal calls is (434) 409-1167.<ref>[[Bella chats]], see Gallery sections</ref>

In [[May 2020]], Chris got an iPad and stylus to attempt digital [[art]].

===PS3 TV===
[[File:Chris's room 14 March 2025.png|thumb|200px]]

In the [[Rental House Tour]], Chris mentions having a PS3 TV (officially the PlayStation 3D Display), which was released primarily for use with PS3 games that support stereoscopic 3D. The TV also appeared in a [[March 2025]] livestream, when his room in his [[Big Island, VA]] home was briefly shown.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Run]]</ref>

===Other electronic appliances===
* [[Chris and video games|Game consoles]]
* [[Television]]
* [[Cameras]]



==Apps==
===Signal===
{{quote|I actually wish I could tell you over text or voice call, but the government and anyone with the tech can easily hack into those methods. [...] Have you heard of the app, Signal?|Chris, shortly before using Signal to brag about having sex with his mother.<ref name=blab>[[Bella chats#Chris Wants to Spill the Beans]]</ref>}}
'''Signal''' is a messenger app which features end-to-end encryption. Among its message options are video calls and texting. Chris learned about the app by using it to communicate with [[Null]]. In [[July 2021]], Chris decided to brag to [[Bella]] about his [[incest]]uous acts with his [[mother]], and he chose to use Signal to do so. Chris explained beforehand that he wanted to tell Bella the identity of the mysterious person he had been having sex with, but - as Chris was aware incest is illegal - he was concerned the government could "hack" in if he were to use an ordinary chat app. He suggested Bella use Signal instead.<ref name=blab></ref> The [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]] then occurred. However, Chris's security solution was thwarted by Bella simply recording segments of the call with her iPad and downloading the texts and then sharing them with her friends until the files were leaked to the general public.

===Weather Channel===
'''Weather Channel''' is a news app detailing weather updates. Chris has used it to study weather conditions such as wildfires in an attempt to divine conditions for the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref>[[The Journey to the Merge#We Did It]]</ref><ref>[[The Place chats (December 2020)#Scary Barbara and Cirrusfire Rant]]</ref>

==Computer troubles==
To hear Chris tell it in 2010, his computer was on its last legs. In his conversations with [[Alec Benson Leary calls|Alec Benson Leary]], Chris complained that multiple power surges (resulting from blackouts in his area) had disabled his computer for days at a time, forcing him to restore it constantly. In mid-[[February 2010]], this was his excuse for failing to regularly upload new comic pages. When Alec reasonably asked him why he didn't just buy a new, more reliable computer, Chris claimed that [[monthly tugboat|he didn't have the money]]. (A low-end replacement for his machine, powerful enough for his purposes, would have only cost a few hundred dollars, but apparently, Chris [[video games|had better]] [[sex toys|things to buy]].)

Chris often claimed to be unable to upload videos for Jackie, or chat with her via instant message, because he couldn't get his computer to start up. This caused him much [[stress]] and discomfort because he worried that she would feel that he was neglecting her, and would break up with him. Chris complained that he didn't have the money for a new PC, but all the while continued to buy new video games for his second PS3. To make things worse, Chris revealed that there was a second, working PC in the house, and the only reason he didn't attempt to use it is that it that was blocked by a pile of clothes (which, incidentally, was the same excuse he used for [[HairDifference|not showering]]).<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]: "[7:30 pm] CWC: my father used to go online with one of our past PCs, but then mom bought a lot of stuff from Goodwill and such and blocked that computer from him."</ref>

==Computer literacy==
Despite having taken a course in computer construction, Chris did not know the difference between [[Random-access humor|RAM]] and hard drive space.<ref>[[Father_Call#Prophetic_dreams_and_Bob_Chandler]]: "Chris: [...] I even took a computer upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch."</ref><ref>[[Mumble_6#Music_and_Computers]]: "Chris: Mmm. I don't know how much RA- how much total... RAM I have, but uh... yeah... I've pretty much got my... got my memory capacity- fill it up with like... tracks from iTunes, some videos, and, uh, images."</ref> When confronted about forgetting things so often, he claimed that his memory worked like RAM, believing the "random" in RAM means that it only works some of the time, or randomly (despite the fact that it almost means the exact opposite: that it can access any requested piece of information at any time, regardless of order).<ref>[[Kacey Call 12#Part 2]]: "Chris: Come on, memory in the brain is like random access memory just like in any computer, it’s random."</ref>

==Taser==
{{Main|Taser}}

Chris believed that he could shock his quartz crystals, through the use of the phenomenon of piezoelectricity, to create portals. He believed he could use a taser to shock some of his [[Magic Stones]] as a means to starting the [[Dimensional Merge]].

==See also==
*[[PS3]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Chris and the Internet

2026-09-30T02:47:22Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Dated|Chris's general Internet activities/understanding from the late 2010s onwards, as this page was mainly written during the 'Classic Era'}}

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

{{quote|Hello. I am well-known on the Internet, sadly.|Chris<ref>[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I really detest the memes. M-E-M-E-S.|Chris<ref>[[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]</ref>}}

The '''[[Wikipedia:Internet|Internet]]''' – the bloodstream of our [[saga]]. It is a computational system that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for the military, and later [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]], to communicate with each other; it is said that about 6.4 billion<ref>https://datareportal.com/global-digital-overview</ref> people are connected to the Internet today. One of those people is [[Chris]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer can see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, ''everyone'' will see it; and if you direct a message to someone, only ''they'' will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]] to [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|his country's president]] to [[This was my fault|multi-million]] [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|dollar corporations]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Greene County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in revealing [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] in his videos, including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and others' potentially identifying info (such as the real name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[sweetheart]]). He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet since the late [[1990s]], yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of the truth. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claimed that [[CWC Blog#January 2010|it was he who had control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who did the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who paid for it.

Out of fear of [[trolls]], Chris refuses to meet people online or interact with people he knows beyond 'closed doors'. He has tried to join public forums at least [[Trollin Train|a couple]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|times]] without attaching his name to the account, but has outed himself either on his own or through his [[Chris and writing|unusual and distinctive writing style]], abandoning them when he feels unsafe from his trolls.

In the recent years though, he has been very active on [[Facebook]], [[Twitter]] and [[Discord]], using them as safespaces and content bubbles to bask in his own glory. He was in multiple self serving groups, such as [[The Place]], [[Golden Church of Sonichu]] or [[The Knights of CWC]], which served as places to spew out his horrid ideas and worldviews in a regulated environment to people who won't be bothered by it. When it was impossible, Chris opted to either block people who spoke against him or use multiple sock puppets to view people who have blocked him instead, a typical show of his [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]].

==Fora==
Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message – be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100806143004/http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially-inept, thirty-something weeaboo man-children who still live with their parents. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

Chris is or has been active on many other mediums on the Internet. He has ran his own blogs and websites, posted videos on [[YouTube]], and communicated with the outside world through social media sites such as [[MySpace]], [[Twitter]], and [[Facebook]]. It was only through Chris's extensive activity on these mediums that made the complication of this huge extensive wiki possible. As of 2018 however, Chris's online activity has transformed from a naive manchild's [[Kick the Autistic|accidental comedy act]] to the [[Chris and reality|insane ramblings]] of an unhinged madman.

==Webrings==
{{w|Webring}}s were a common Internet feature in the late 1990s and early 2000s, where certain websites (usually surrounding a common theme, and more often than not amateur fansites) could be "linked" together in a circular structure. Chris always made sure to put his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu websites]] under the "Super Sonic Webring"; however, he failed to put in the proper codes to actually make his sites part of it, causing the links in the webring section to be broken rather than continuing the chain. Chris also continued putting this broken section into his sites as late as 2009, by which point webrings had largely become obsolete outside of niche fan communities and platforms; he seemingly never thought of checking to make sure it worked and simply just recycled code from his previous websites whenever he moved onto a new domain.

==Password sharing==
{{see also|Gregg Mays E-mails|2018 Twitter account compromise}}

One of the most cardinal rules of the Internet, taught to pretty much anybody of any age, is that you should never give away your password to an account you have on any website, since (obviously) this runs the risk of you being hacked by people like trolls and scammers. Chris, in his [[Honor roll|infinite wisdom]], has broken this rule on multiple occasions - so much so, that some trolls have claimed he's never truly been "hacked" in a traditional sense, since the barrier of entry to his online accounts was regularly lowered by Chris himself.<ref name="hacked">[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Chris has never been hacked]]</ref>

During the [[Miyamoto Saga]] in [[2009]], Chris was contacted by one [[Gregg Mays]] (really an alias of [[Clyde Cash]]), who wanted to help update his [[sonichu.net|website]] to promote [[CWC AC: City Folk Update|Sonichu's appearance]] in ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', and thus asked him to provide his username and password for his Tripod account. Chris was surprisingly somewhat hesitant to do so initially,<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#January 7, 2009]]</ref> but when he was pressed with a deadline to give Gregg his password, he let his guard down. Shortly after this, Gregg hacked the site.

In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]], [[BlueSpike]], under the guise of [[Julie]], asked Chris if he could share his [[PlayStation Network]] account with "her". Chris was all too eager to give away his password to his then-[[sweetheart]], which would eventually caused his account to get hacked.

In fall [[2018]], [[Lukas]] and friends posed as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Chris and manipulation|manipulated]] Chris into giving him the password to his Twitter account, from which they would control for three months during the [[2018 Twitter account compromise]].

Chris's e-mail messages would be routinely leaked because he would be asked by his fake girlfriends to share his e-mail accounts' passwords with them, and Chris would hand it over to them with little issue.<ref name="hacked"/>

==VPN==
Virtual private networks (VPNs) can be used for several purposes, including security, anonymity, and bypassing country restrictions. The first known usage of a VPN was during the [[2018 Twitter account compromise]] when the [[Teen Troon Squad]] logged into Chris's Twitter to troll him by writing tweets in his name, but sometimes left their VPN stamp visible.

In [[2024]], Chris himself was observed using a VPN.<ref>[[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5]]</ref>

==Bans==
{{Main|List of places that have banned Chris#Websites}}

[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from the few places he frequents online.

Thanks to [[Honest content|his screwed up conversation filter]], Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without a NSFW tag, though he doesn't understand why - comments he left on the [[CWCipedia]] suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=DeviantART DeviantART] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] was deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sock-puppet of a troll and not [[TRUE and HONEST|the real deal]].

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''4 times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' having animated sex dreams being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

Chris also got repeated temporary bans from [[Facebook]] between [[2013]] and [[2016]], whether it be for posting sexually-charged art and posts, or making death threats towards companies or the president of the United States.

One notices a pattern in all of this – Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that each deleted animation was violating the terms of service, even uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''4 times'' before getting his console blocked.

===Bans from Orbiters===
{{Incomplete}}

==Attempts to leave the Internet==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris means when he says he is going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it – when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes out in the driveway when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory – threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling that it has its own term: "flouncing".

Of course, his game consoles are still hooked up to the Internet (where he plays video games, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the Internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was when the [[Ivy]] saga was hitting its peak; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of 2 weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|2nd]], [[100 2188|3rd]], and [[100 2189|4th attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

[[File:CWC Cycle.png|thumb|left|200px]]

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his 4th announcement of leaving the Internet just ''4 days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have both made him scared of and scared him from the Internet.]] He returned just [[June062010.MOV|1 week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''5th'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly 2 weeks after his ''5th'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] – especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Waiting for $9001|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

On 22 [[November 2010]] Chris [[100 2357.MOV|announced that he would be leaving the Internet]] ''yet again'', and began what would become his longest time away from the Internet. For an hereto unsurpassed period of time, Chris managed to refrain from doing something that would directly attract the attention of the trolls, although he was not completely able to repress his urge to spread his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still made [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|efforts]] to make the world realize his greatness.

Despite his claims to have stopped socializing online, a new [[Facebook]] account bearing a [[:File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|previously unseen photograph of Chris]] was discovered on 5 [[July 2011]], and two weeks later it was revealed that between 29 [[May 2011|May]] and 20 [[June 2011]] Chris was frequenting the forum [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] while trying (and failing) to stay anonymous. This culminated with [[Calling Out|three new videos]] released on 6 August 2011 after a 257-day YouTube hiatus.

Although unofficial, it is worth mentioning that after the death of [[Bob]] in [[September 2011]], Chris had not returned to YouTube for over 2 years, which broke his previous record of 257 days. Technically, that could have been considered a seventh Internet abandonment (with the only exceptions being Facebook and Twitter). However, in [[November 2013]], Chris uploaded a [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|video]] he'd recorded the previous month, once again showing that, ultimately, he just can't resist [[Chris and his Ego|uploading things about himself]]. He continued to upload videos sparingly throughout 2014 and 2015, returning on a regular basis from October 2015 onwards.

Chris would take another extended break from the Internet between [[August 2021]] to [[August 2023]], but this was only due to [[Jail Saga|outside forces]].

==References==
<references/>
{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}
{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

Chris and the Internet

2026-09-28T04:56:40Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Password sharing */

{{Dated|Chris's general Internet activities/understanding from the late 2010s onwards, as this page was mainly written during the 'Classic Era'}}

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

{{quote|Hello. I am well-known on the Internet, sadly.|Chris<ref>[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I really detest the memes. M-E-M-E-S.|Chris<ref>[[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]</ref>}}

The '''[[Wikipedia:Internet|Internet]]''' – the bloodstream of our [[saga]]. It is a computational system that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for the military, and later [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]], to communicate with each other; it is said that about 6.4 billion<ref>https://datareportal.com/global-digital-overview</ref> people are connected to the Internet today. One of those people is [[Chris]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer can see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, ''everyone'' will see it; and if you direct a message to someone, only ''they'' will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]] to [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|his country's president]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Greene County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in revealing [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] in his videos, including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and others' potentially identifying info (such as the real name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[sweetheart]]). He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet since the late [[1990s]], yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of the truth. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claimed that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it was he who had control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who did the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who paid for it.

Out of fear of [[trolls]], Chris refuses to meet people online or interact with people he knows beyond 'closed doors'. He has tried to join public forums at least [[Trollin Train|a couple]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|times]] without attaching his name to the account, but has outed himself either on his own or through his [[Chris and writing|unusual and distinctive writing style]], abandoning them when he feels unsafe from his trolls.

In the recent years though, he has been very active on [[Facebook]], [[Twitter]] and [[Discord]], using them as safespaces and content bubbles to bask in his own glory. He was in multiple self serving groups, such as [[The Place]], [[Golden Church of Sonichu]] or [[The Knights of CWC]], which served as places to spew out his horrid ideas and worldviews in a regulated environment to people who won't be bothered by it. When it was impossible, Chris opted to either block people who spoke against him or use multiple sock puppets to view people who have blocked him instead, a typical show of his [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]].

==Fora==
Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message – be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100806143004/http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially-inept, thirty-something weeaboo man-children who still live with their parents. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

Chris is or has been active on many other mediums on the Internet. He has ran his own blogs and websites, posted videos on [[YouTube]], and communicated with the outside world through social media sites such as [[MySpace]], [[Twitter]], and [[Facebook]]. It was only through Chris's extensive activity on these mediums that made the complication of this huge extensive wiki possible. As of 2018 however, Chris's online activity has transformed from a naive manchild's [[Kick_the_Autistic|accidental comedy act]] to the [[Chris and reality|insane ramblings]] of an unhinged madman.

==Password sharing==
{{see also|Gregg Mays E-mails|2018 Twitter account compromise}}

One of the most cardinal rules of the Internet, taught to pretty much anybody of any age, is that you should never give away your password to an account you have on any website, since (obviously) this runs the risk of you being hacked by people like trolls and scammers. Chris, in his [[Honor roll|infinite wisdom]], has broken this rule on multiple occasions - so much so, that some trolls have claimed he's never truly been "hacked" in a traditional sense, since the barrier of entry to his online accounts was regularly lowered by Chris himself.<ref name="hacked">[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Chris has never been hacked]]</ref>

During the [[Miyamoto Saga]] in [[2009]], Chris was contacted by one [[Gregg Mays]] (really an alias of [[Clyde Cash]]), who wanted to help update his [[sonichu.net|website]] to promote [[CWC AC: City Folk Update|Sonichu's appearance]] in ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', and thus asked him to provide his username and password for his Tripod account. Chris was surprisingly somewhat hesitant to do so initially,<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#January 7, 2009]]</ref> but when he was pressed with a deadline to give Gregg his password, he let his guard down. Shortly after this, Gregg hacked the site.

In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]], [[BlueSpike]], under the guise of [[Julie]], asked Chris if he could share his [[PlayStation Network]] account with "her". Chris was all too eager to give away his password to his then-[[sweetheart]], which would eventually caused his account to get hacked.

In fall [[2018]], [[Lukas]] and friends posed as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Chris and manipulation|manipulated]] Chris into giving him the password to his Twitter account, from which they would control for three months during the [[2018 Twitter account compromise]].

Chris's e-mail messages would be routinely leaked because he would be asked by his fake girlfriends to share his e-mail accounts' passwords with them, and Chris would hand it over to them with little issue.<ref name="hacked"/>

==VPN==
VPNs can be used for several purposes, including security, anonymity, and bypassing country restrictions. The first known usage of a VPN was during the [[2018 Twitter account compromise]] when the [[Teen Troon Squad]] logged into Chris's Twitter to troll him by writing tweets in his name, but sometimes left their VPN stamp visible.

In [[2024]], Chris himself was observed using a VPN.<ref>[[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5]]</ref>

==Bans==
{{Main|List of places that have banned Chris#Websites}}

[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from the few places he frequents online.

Thanks to [[Honest content|his screwed up conversation filter]], Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without a NSFW tag, though he doesn't understand why - comments he left on the [[CWCipedia]] suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=DeviantART DeviantART] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] was deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sock-puppet of a troll and not [[TRUE and HONEST|the real deal]].

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''4 times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' having animated sex dreams being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this – Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that each deleted animation was violating the terms of service, even uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''4 times'' before getting his console blocked.

===Bans from Orbiters===
{{Incomplete}}

==Attempts to leave the Internet==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris means when he says he is going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it – when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes out in the driveway when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory – threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling that it has its own term: "flouncing".

Of course, his game consoles are still hooked up to the Internet (where he plays video games, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the Internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was when the [[Ivy]] saga was hitting its peak; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of 2 weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|2nd]], [[100 2188|3rd]], and [[100 2189|4th attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

[[File:CWC Cycle.png|thumb|left|200px]]

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his 4th announcement of leaving the Internet just ''4 days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have both made him scared of and scared him from the Internet.]] He returned just [[June062010.MOV|1 week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''5th'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly 2 weeks after his ''5th'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] – especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

On 22 [[November 2010]] Chris [[100_2357.MOV|announced that he would be leaving the Internet]] ''yet again'', and began what would become his longest time away from the Internet. For an hereto unsurpassed period of time, Chris managed to refrain from doing something that would directly attract the attention of the trolls, although he was not completely able to repress his urge to spread his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still made [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|efforts]] to make the world realize his greatness.

Despite his claims to have stopped socializing online, a new [[Facebook]] account bearing a [[:File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|previously unseen photograph of Chris]] was discovered on 5 [[July 2011]], and two weeks later it was revealed that between 29 [[May 2011|May]] and 20 [[June 2011]] Chris was frequenting the forum [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] while trying (and failing) to stay anonymous. This culminated with [[Calling Out|three new videos]] released on 6 August 2011 after a 257-day YouTube hiatus.

Although unofficial, it is worth mentioning that after the death of [[Bob]] in [[September 2011]], Chris had not returned to YouTube for over 2 years, which broke his previous record of 257 days. Technically, that could have been considered a seventh Internet abandonment (with the only exceptions being Facebook and Twitter). However, in [[November 2013]], Chris uploaded a [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|video]] he'd recorded the previous month, once again showing that, ultimately, he just can't resist [[Chris and his Ego|uploading things about himself]]. He continued to upload videos sparingly throughout 2014 and 2015, returning on a regular basis from October 2015 onwards.

==References==
<references/>
{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}
{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

March 2011

2026-09-23T05:30:41Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:ZyK7a.jpg|thumb|Chris in March.]]

'''March''' was the third month of [[2011]]. Once again, Chris spent a majority of the month playing [[vidya]], talking to [[Jackie]], and hiding from [[trolls]]. Several phone calls that shed new light on previous sagas were released. Privately, however, this was a transformative month for Chris, as he made a momentous discovery about his [[Chris and gender|gender identity]].

==Events==
* '''1 March'''
** Another [[Kacey Call 2|phone call]] between Chris and [[Kacey]] is released, as well as [[Cwcsicle|a video]] of Chris sticking his [[Duck|penis]] in snow.
** Chris takes some photos of himself.
* '''3 March''' - ''Twenty-three'' more [[Kacey Call 3|phone calls]] between Chris and Kacey are released.
* '''24 March (approx.)''' - [[Bob Chandler]] reveals in a [[Bob's got Cancer|phone call]] with the [[ThePCAssassins]] that he has been diagnosed with cancer.
* '''26 March''' - Chris sends [[Jackie E-mails 24|an email]] to [[Jackie]] in which he declares that he has become a "[[Transgender|tomgirl]]." He includes photos of his new look.
* '''30 March''' - Chris [[:File:I am tomgirl.jpg|changes]] his [[PSN]] quote to "I am [[Tomgirl]]," causing public debate and discussion.

==References==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Victory Rockout

2026-09-22T05:17:48Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|PSA: Don’t throw your guitar like an axe while still wearing it around your neck.|[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Live From China!🔴Chill CWC Stream 30|Chris remembering the video]], [[October 2023]].}}

'''Victory Rockout''' (originally called '''Skyrim Victory.mp4''') is a video leaked early in the morning of 28 [[August 2011]] by [[CWCki]] user Dinglebear, under the YouTube account "CWCvilleProductions". In this video, Chris flails around a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller while dancing to Sbeast's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyCFuP3rM2w metal version] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim]]'' theme. Chris completely disregards both the rhythm and structure of the original song, and just [[Random-access humor|screams whatever pops in his mind in a not-particularly-musical manner]]. It appears to be created in response to [[Thorg]]'s retirement from [[trolling]], referencing [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|Thorg's love for ''The Elder Scrolls'']].

Chris once again complains about [[CWCki]]. He was likely taking an issue with the [[Template:PSNTracker|PSN Tracker]] on the front page, which said at the time ''"Chris was last spotted playing ''Fallout: New Vegas''. Chris has spent over $3,678.10 of [[Monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]!"'' and is trying to hint that he's not spending ''that'' much money on video games. (It is worth noting that CWCki's numbers [[Chris and money|are on the conservative side]].)

The video frequently skips and misses frames, which is most likely due to his [[PSEye]] being damaged ([[Chris and anger|again]]).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Victory Rockout
| ytid = 41cBjmYezm8
| stardate = 28 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{(Handouts)|Spending}}, {{Power|text}}, {{Video games|text}}, {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Calling Out Saga|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Green Shirt with Unreadable Text
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
| next = [[Response to ADF]]
}}

{{quote|Glad to see my remixes going to good use. . .|sbeast64}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris kneels down and presses buttons on the [[PS3]] controller, and the music begins. He starts furiously slapping his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar.'']

Eah, we got victory! [''[[Respectable Frames#Dramatic glasses removal|Dramatic glasses removal]]''] I won with a victory! VICTORY OVER ALL DAMN CYBERBULLIES! Cyberbullies gonna get their kickin', BAM BAM BAM! Bam! I kicked your head in, you damn dirty bullies! [''Strikes the air with his [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]] while it's still attached to his neck''] Whee!

You bullies are really, really stupid! Trolls are really, really stupid! Hey you bullies are really, really stupid! ''[[Pokémon|Team Rocket's]]'' [[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned|stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!]]

[[Random-access humor|HELLO,]] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN!]] [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|WHY IS YOUR LAST NAME BRANDON ANDERSON?!]]

{{RageQuote|''[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!]]''}}

[''crows loudly like a rooster'']

Victory over the trolls! Goes to the creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]! Yeah! [''turns around and thrusts his ass towards the camera''] So you can kiss it! Kit! Kiss it! Kiss it!

And I paid ten dollars for this guitar and game combo, at a garage sale a couple weeks ago! I only paid $10 FOR ''Fallout: Vegas'' when it was on sale a previous time!

So your assumptions of what I paid for everything...

{{RageQuote|INCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!}}

The [[CWCki]]'s a damn lie! Ahhh....exaggerations! False implications! [[Nudes|Naked truths]] and a content plague inside contents!

Never trust the CWCki no matter what! [[Mailbag|If you have questions, ask me d'personally!]] I will answer with [[Honest Content|honesty!]] All they tell you is exaggeration and LIEEESSSSSSS! Damn those internet bullies! '''<big>[[Death threats|DEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAD!]]</big>'''

[''turns off [[PSEye]]'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF]]}}
{{Calling Out}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-28 v]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos featuring dancing]]

KCWC broadcast

2026-09-21T06:20:01Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

The '''[[KCWC]] broadcast''' is a taped "radio broadcast" that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]].

This "broadcast" is notable for Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] humoring him like a 6-year-old by pretending to "call in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s 71st birthday. Keep in mind that this was made when he was ''16'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]] and when he first began [[mass debating]]. Also, many of the songs he plays are from random [[video games]]. Though many video games do have catchy themes, they would never be played on a typical radio station. Besides that, the only other songs Chris plays are from Disney movies or old songs no teenager has probably ever heard of outside school plays, all from the 1930s to 1950s by artists such as {{w|Frank Sinatra}}, and from musicals like ''{{w|Oklahoma!}}'', ''{{w|Show Boat}}'' and ''{{w|Guys and Dolls}}''. We can probably thank Bob for [[Chris and music#Musical tastes|Chris's musical tastes]].

The broadcast has several special "guests", notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|Alvin and the Chipmunks]], as well as {{w|Myles Standish}}, who, after riding on board [[Daniel Weston|the Mayflower]] to the [[United States of America|new world]], has (somehow) become a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' fan.

Also, on the DVD cover, Chris incorrectly says that this was taped in August [[1997]]. This is impossible, as there is a commercial on this tape for ''{{w|Cousin Skeeter}}'' and ''{{w|The Wild Thornberrys}}'' toys from Burger King. Both of these shows premiered on {{w|Nickelodeon}} in September [[1998]]. Furthermore, Bob wouldn't turn 71 until this month.

__TOC__

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| ytid = TPMBGIo6dMw
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
'''Chris:''' [''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air. [''pause; Chris then poorly imitates the NBC chimes''] BA-KOW...! [''singing''] Ba ba ba bum, it's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, ''Christian Chandler!'' [''to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut"''] Ba-da-da-dum-bum, da-bum!

[''tape skips between recording'']

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I feel like [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' {{w|Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra}}. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[''tape skips again'']

[''Frank Sinatra's version of "{{w|I've Got the World on a String}}" plays'']

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' {{w|Chico Marx}}, let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[''A recording of {{w|Chico Marx}} appearing on the radio show ''The Fitch Bandwagon'' plays; after Marx does a comedy bit, Skip Nelson's "Velvet Moon" plays.'']

[''Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping'']

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request just a few minutes ago for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [''stutters''], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[''Tape stops again and resumes with "{{w|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'}}" by {{w|Gordon MacRae}} playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.'']

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0ifHMyNSOh0}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''"{{w|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'}}" by {{w|Gordon MacRae}} resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope [[Homos|he and his friend enjoys themselves]], but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local news]]. Here we are at the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario racetrack]] where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. [[Chris and reality|They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees]], but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris's voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! Here in Richmond it is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his newscaster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal $5 million from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a [[Chris and money|$1,000 reward]] to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a $5 million reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for [[Obesity|Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial]] for Cousin Skeeter, The Journey of Allen Strange and The Wild Thornberrys toys, an advertisement for Space Ghost's Surf 'n' Turf CD/cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YAni5N9eyr4}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''The ''Mario Kart 64'' Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that ''Mario Kart 64'' song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme-for the theme song of a very famous ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' game for the {{w|Sega Genesis}}. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from-it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call-who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[''tape stops and leads to "Sonic and Knuckles Theme" by Howard Drossin'']

[''tape stops and Chris resumes speaking'']

'''Chris:''' And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the ''Sonic and Knuckles'' theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is {{w|Myles Standish}}. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the [[Internet]]. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that ''Sonic & Knuckles'' song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that, uh, game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called "{{w|Love and Marriage}}". And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 a.m. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[''tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays'']

[''tape resumes as Chris speaks'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little [[Christmas]] song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [''pause''] I'll tell you then! It's {{w|Alvin and the Chipmunks}}. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[''Chris claps'']

'''Chris as one of the Chipmunks: ''' [''indistinct'']

'''Chris as another Chipmunk: ''' You said it!

'''Chris as the third Chipmunk: ''' We're going [[Tobacky|smoking]]!

'''Chris: ''' Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

'''Chris trying to sound like Alvin: ''' Yeah, it's great, man!

'''Chris: ''' Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play a C--[''Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends'']

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kUPeLVGNHjM}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris: ''' --[[Christmas|hristmas]] song! I gonna play...[''sings in a sing-song voice''] Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

'''Chris trying to sound like Simon: ''': Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! ''[Annoying laugh]'' Ah ah ah ahh!

'''Chris: ''' Heh, that's funny, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and ''[indistinct]'' and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[''tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4BBori8Ac Over the River and Through the Woods]" plays. For some reason, the Chipmunks' vocals are inaudible, likely due to an issue with the audio mixing.'']

[''tape resumes as Chris speaks'']

'''Chris: ''' Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those Chip- wasn't those Chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Leslie Lioness, and she requested that we play the ''{{w|Sonic CD}}'' song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and Pastiche's "[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Boom]]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, ''[spoken quickly]'' as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, [[Cole_Smithey#Internet_infamy|Toy Story]]! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "{{w|You've Got a Friend in Me}}." And boy, wasn't that {{w|Buzz Lightyear}} funny, I mean,

'''Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: ''' To infinity and beyond!

'''Chris: ''' Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and [[Duck|Woody]], with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and Randy Newman's "You've Got a Friend in Me" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' show!

'''Chris trying to sound like Lucy:''' ''Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Do you poop out at parties?]] Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Mmm! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!''

'''Chris: ''' Hey there, all you [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]! And the joke goes like this.

'''Chris as his younger self:''' Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pz6L-A0RUcY}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris as his younger self:''' ''[resumes mid-joke from part four into part five.]'' -ven. 'Cuz seven, eight nine!

'''Chris:''' ''[Chris laughs]'' Now that's a pretty funny one! Thank you Christopher Chandler. Anyway, our next song is another Disney song and it is entitled ''[Chris badly sings]'' "Ooh, oopey doo, oobey doo, I wanna be like yo-hoo-hou, wapey do-ee do wah!" from the Jungle Book. Yeah, that's right, the Jungle Book. Okay Tink-okay Kemuway take it away. Oh by the way Luey, I don't want to be like you! ''[Chris laughs]''

''[Tape cuts out in the middle of the recording then resumes]''

[''"I Wan'na Be Like You" sung by {{w|Louis Prima}} for the Disney film ''{{w|The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book}}'' plays'']

[''Tape cuts back out and in again'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'ery thing KCWC. And it is now one-thirty in the afternoon and we're going to-- ''[Chris cuts himself off with vocalized phone rings]'' Uh-oh, gotta call on line one. [''Bloops and Chris pretends to answer the phone''] 'Allo! It's your time, what's your rhyme!

'''Barbara Chandler:''' Hello! My name is Barbara Chandler and I'm calling to request a song for my husband for his birthday - ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' His name is [[Bob Chandler]] and he's 71 years old today. ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' ''[In a very-mildly agitated tone]'' and the song I would like to request is "{{w|A Bushel and a Peck}}". ''[Chris interrupts for a third time]''

'''Chris:''' A bushel on a peck, an' a hug aroun'da neck for a seventy-one-year-old man. ''[light laugh]''

'''Barbara:''' Ah think so. Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' ''[Quickly]'' Okay bye.

'''Barbara:''' Bye.

'''Chris:''' Ya heard it righ' here folks a-a request for birfday boy here. So a Happy Birthday goes out to Robert Chandler. And we will p'say "A Bushel and a Peck" from ''{{w|Guys and Dolls}}''.

''[Tape cuts out, then begins playing "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls]''

''[Tape cuts back in]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'erything [[KCWC]]. And right now we're gonna go down to the top tens- songs. Of them all. Cuz I gotta start up with um'uh-nuh we're gonna start um' right now.

Number Ten is... uh..... "{{w|Go the Distance}}" from {{w|Hercules (1997 film)|''Hercules''}}. Number Nine is, uh... "It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas" from, the Chipmunks. Number Eight is uh, "The Results Theme" from ''Mario Kart 64''. Number Seven is... "Saddle Up" is from ''Virtual Sonic''. Number Five is, uh, uh... the, uh, opening theme from ''Star Fox 64''. And Number Three is the, uh, Palmtree Panic background song from the ''{{w|Sonic CD|Sonic's CD}}''. And Number Two is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from ''Toy Story''. And the number one hit song which we're gon' play up next... uh... "What's More American", sung by Bing Crosby.

Take it away, Bing!

''[Song plays for a few seconds, then immediately cuts out]''

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eyIc2N6UuIA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''There's a long silence until 00:20 when "What's More American" resumes.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC. And right now it is 3 o'clock and we're gonna take a break from the music and get right back to you with the news. Okay, Ted newcaster, take it away!

[''Chris lowers his voice and somehow sounds even more retarded than usual'']

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you, Mr. Chandler! Well first of we're gonna go back to the robbery that's in- that's in- still in progress. Come in copter one.

[''Chris makes helicopter noises and does the voice for copter one'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Here I am in copter one, folks. Again with the bank manager and we're still chasing the robber. And he's on his- he's nearing his hide-out. Okay, here he is parking his car. Getting out of the car with the five million dollars in his suitcase. Goin' to his side now(?), and luckily I have a police escort with me so we're gonna land now and catch the burglar. Goin' on down now!

[''Chris makes more helicopter noises'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, here I am now at the place I'm go in and capture that burglar. Okay, let's go!

[''Chris puts on a deeper, more authoritative voice, presumably pretending to be a policeman'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Okay, robber! You got five seconds to get outta there with the five million dollars or we gonna bust on in and get it ourselves. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Okay men, send them in.

[''Chris makes farting noises, attempting to imitate gunshots and the sound of a door being kicked in.'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Alright, we got ya surrounded! Come out with your hands up!

[''Chris puts on a very high pitched, rapid voice.'']

'''Chris as robber:''' Okay, okay! I'm out, please don't shoot! Don't shoot! Dont't shoot! I give up! I give up! I give up! Here's the five million dollars. I give up! I give up! Please take me in! Take me in! I'll never commit a crime anymore.

'''Chris as policeman:''' Good job, men! Listen, five million dollars gets a thousand dollar reward. Donate it to the Richmond station. Okay, c'mon men, let's get outta here!

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' And there you have it. We just had the capture of the burglar and the retrieving of the five million dollars. So tell me, Mr. bank manager, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as the bank manager:''' [''gruff and heavily slurred''] Well, all I have to say is that I think I got his money. For he saw it like a true coward. So, and he's gonna- he also face going to jail so he might give up the life of crime and I won't have any more money stolen. That's all I have to say.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, you heard right here live on station KCWC. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you- thank you, copter one. Okay, right now we're gonna go back to the weather. Weatherboy...

'''Chris as Weatherboy:''' [clears throat] Eh, yes, and right now it is- right now it is 91 degrees and now it's mostly cloudy. There's a little sunshine right there, but we don't have any rain coming. No, sir! Right now they say it's only a 20% chance of rain. But tonight, it'll be perfectly clear and 79 degrees and tomorrow there'll be a slight chance- there'll be slight chance of rain. 30% chance, to be exact! And that's all I have to say. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, Weatherboy! And right now we're gonna go back to Chicago for another- for some more sports. We go down the basketball game between the, ah, the, ah, what is it? Oh yeah, the Chicago Bulls and New York Nicks. And the Bulls have won the base- the basketball game. That's a score of 53 to 50! Anyway, the Bulls won the baseball game. Okay, that's all I have to say about the sports! Now we're gonna take you live to the race track on Mario Kart 64.

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Okay, here we are at the race track and there Yoshi and Mario are fine. And they're wearing these [inaudible] and their karts are out of repair so- and we are about to start a kart race for the flower cup. And we're gonna give full coverage on Mario. Su- so here we are about to start the race. Lets go live!

[''There is the noise of a Mario Kart 64 race starting up'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Here we are at Toad's Turnpike, and the race is about to start, folks! On your mark, get set, go. And here we go with the race.

Keep an eye on Mario, now, cause he's our main man. Mar- And, ah, he's in third place right now. Ahead of him is Koopa and ahead of Koopa is Peach. Oh, and he makes a splendid right hand turn. Oh, and he give a green shell which he picked up to Koopa. He's closing in on Peach. He's making another turn. Oh, but peach turns ghost. Now Mario picks up another item. He shoots a green shell and gets a ghost. Uh oh! Oh, he got into the green shell he shot and now he see's the other one and he uses a ghost and what does he get? Oh, from that ghost he receives a red shell, and he bounces it off trucks, no problem. He raises his red shell and on a stair way he shoots it, and it won't hit Peach because she ha- had a banana on her, and Mario has picked up another red shell. He's raised it and he shoots it. Is it gonna hit Peach? I don't know, folks. It knocks Peach against a wall. Mario picks up... Oh man, somebody has shot a lightning bolt. It's Luigi! Oh man, Mario's on a dirt place. Oh, and Mario goes back to full size and so has everybody else. Now with only two shells, he makes another turn. On turn, he picks up another item. He shoots, and picks up a mushroom! And is on his final green shell he had to use it because Koopa had his coming. So, Mario uses the final green shell. Uh oh! Oh, [inaudible] he uses a mushroom and he got plenty of mystery items, and he's still in second place, folks. Peach is way ahead. [inaudible] make first place but lets keep an eye on him, anyway. He's got a mystery box, a decoy box. And he puts it in- he lets it go. And he get another item, it's a red shell! I don't think it'll make Peach but he goes on ahead and shoots it, and he hits a banana peel. Oh, and he goes into a major peel out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the best races I ever seen in my life. One of the most exciting, too. Okay, and Mario makes another turn. He picks up another item. It's a lightning bolt! How lucky is that? And everybody has gotten shrunk except for Mario. And Mario hits a banana peel but he doesn't slip. He must have hit the break. And now he picks up a set of green sh- set of three green shells. Mario passes a couple of trucks. Now, he's making another turn. He almost slipped on a banana peel but the- one of his green shells took the hit for him. This is the third lap, folks. And he's almost towards the finish line. Oh, and he goes between a [inaudible] and a truck magnificently.

And he passes the finish line with second place. And first place is Peach, Mario is followed by Koopa and Koopa is followed by Donkey Kong and the rest are in the last four positions. We take you now to the results. Mario is in second place with six. Peach is in first with nine. Koopa at- with three. And Donkey Kong with with one. And the rest have zero.

And now we go to the next race, in Frappe Snowland, and Mario in position in second place. On your mark, get set. Oh, and Mario takes a rocket boost to start as he's tring to go to his right. He picks up...

[Chris gets cut off mid-sentence as part six ends]

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MdDc5MAkPlw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''Mario Kart commentating continues from last video'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' ... an item. It's a banana peel, and he is in first place. How will he use his banana peel? Just right at the turn. Now he's going over the hill. Oh, and it looks like he hit somebody. I'm not sure who it was, but he hit somebody. Oh, and he picks up a green shell, he uses it, it hits Peach. Peach is still in second place, though, but, uh, Mario is still is first. He's way ahead by some. Oh, and Mario picks up a red shell. Don't think there'll be a need for that, but he's got one. And Peach is closing in on him. He crosses the bridge. He's on his second lap!

He starts the second lap, folks. He gets- he picks up another item. He lets go of- he releases his red shell, and he picks up a banana line-up. Oh, and Peach has passed him. Now Mario's in second. He throws the banana peel and Ma- and Peach slips. And he's still got the bana- got one banana peel left. And he picks up another item. It's a single banana. How's he uses it? Simple! He uses it in the- in the lot of mystery boxes. And he picks up a single mushroom as his item. How will he use it? He's keeping it. Lets see what happens, though. He makes another turn, on the curbs. He makes another- other turns. He's really keeping that mushroom, though. Not using it. He's still making his other turns. He's going over the hill. He still hasn't used his mushroom, yet. Now he goes through the field of snowmen. Now he makes another turn. Oh, and he uses that mushroom to go over that snail hill for a short-cut. Now- now he picks up another item. It's a single banana peel. And he makes another turn. Oh, but hit the wall before he can make his turn. He's lost the banana. And he crosses the bridge. And he wins in first place! That was a magnificent race, folks. Mario in first place, followed by Donkey Kong, the Koopa, then Yoshi and the rest on the last four positions. Lets go live to the results. Mario's in the lead with fifteen points. Peach is in second with nine. Donkey Kong with seven. Koopa with six. And Yoshi probably got some points. He picked up one point and is in fifth place. The rest have zero.

Now let's go live to the next race. Which is Chocolate Mountain! And Mario's in position. Ready! Set! Go! Oh, and Mario picks up another rocket boost at start. And he gets to another turn. He picks up an item. It's a single mushroom. Might as well gonna save that one for later. Now he's making another turn on the wide turn. He does it successfully. He goes through the boxes. And he still hasn't u- oh, and he hits something. He hits a hill. And, uh, Toad and Donkey Kong have past him, because he was probably thinking about something else. But right now Mario is back and he picks up three green shells. And he uses one on Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong gets Toad in a chain reaction. Now Mario is still in first place. He's still got that two of three - uh-oh, Koopa's closin' in on him. He shoots one green shell to pick up an item, and it's a green she- it's another green shell. And he uses it that third green shell on the Koopa. And he pulls out his new green shell. What's he gonna do with it? He shoots it behind him. And he picks up another green shell from the other item boxes. He shoots that behind him. Now he has no items. And Donkey Kong is closing in on him. But it looks like somebody [inaudible] but I don't think it was Donkey Kong. Now new item pick up. It's a red shell. And he uses immediately and hits... uh-oh, a koopa has hit Mario. He's fallen behind. He's in fourth place. No wait, now he's in third. He picks up three mushrooms. He uses them. And uses the third one to go ahead of Toad aaaand Koopa and he's out way in the lead. And Donkey Kong is somewhere 'round the hill. And Mario picks up a mushroom, now he's in second place. Now he's started using his unlimited mushroom. He makes a turn. He's still in second. He uses his mushroom. Oh, and there's Koopa not far ahead. But I'll take Mario and make it first place. Donkey Kong second and Mario makes third place. Ladies and gentlemen, was a magnificent race, if I do say so myself. Koopa won, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Mario, followed by Toad. I'll take you live to the results. Mario's still in first place with eighteen. Koopa with fifteen. Donkey Kong with thirteen. Peach with nine. And Yoshi and Toad tied in fifth place with one. The rest have zero.

Now we take you live to the next race, in the Mario Raceway. This is the final race, folks! Mario's in positions at third place. On your mark! Get set! Go! And Mario takes another rocket boost at start and he hops over Koopa. Now he picks up an item. It's a decoy mystery box. And he drops it. He make another turn. He goes around that mushroom. He picks up another item. It's a green shell, and almost straight away he shoots it behind him, but it hits nobody. Now he making his auto-turn. And he goes across the sand using another turn. And Koopa is directly behind him. But Mario is still in first place. Uh oh, he hit the grass. And Ma- and Koopa tried to hit him, but he didn't pass. Mario picked up a green shell. Uh oh, Koopa's passed him. But Mario shoots his green shell and timed it right, hit Koopa. Now Peach is in second but Mario is still first. And Mario picked up... five banana peel and he uses them all straight away. And now he's taking a sneaky short-cut again using his auto-turn. He's way, way ahead, folks. And now he's in for the final lap. He picks up another item. And it is another green shell. He shoots it behind him. He's making his auto-turns. He's going around the mushroom. He making an auto-turn. And he picks up a mushroo- a single mushroom. I notice how he use that to hit the grass and sandy short-cut. That's a long short-cut, folks. And now Mario's passing through a tunnel. Uh oh, He makes and wrong turn and goes the wrong way. But now he's still in first place and passes finish line. Wins with first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was a magnificent race. Mario won in first, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Koopa and followed by Peach and the rest are in the last places. Lets go live to the results. Mario's won with 27 points, followed by Donkey Kong with nineteen and I didn't get to see the rest. Right, now here we are at the trophy ceremony live at Peach's castle. Let's go live. Here comes Mario as the first place winner. And here comes Donkey Kong in the third place mount. And Koopa coming up in the secon- uh here's come Koopa coming in the third place mount. I don't know. Lets see how it comes up, though. Mario get the win with first place, Donkey Kong with second an Koopa with third. And here comes the floating glow fish. He's gonna blow out trophy for Mario... and the trophy is.. GOLD! This was a magnific--bunch of magnificent races, folks. Tell me Mario, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as Mario:''' [''in a vaguely Italian accent, pitch fluctuates drastically from high to low''] WELL, I have to say it feels like it's good to be the winner, but I always feel like being a good winner. I did do more winning,(?) that's all. So, the... [''loses his train of thought; the in-game Mario can be heard saying "Congratulations!"''] Glad to be! [''the in-game Mario says, "He-he! I got it!"''] Thank you very much! Back to you!

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Alright! Now that's enough for the races. Back to you, Ted Baster!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you! Now that's it for the Mario Kart races. Now we go back to the music. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Alright! Thank you, Ted Baster! As you know it was three o'clock before the news started but right now, with the, since we were just mplaying ''Mario Kart 64'', we are now going live with ''Star Fox'' music. We gonna play the, ah, famous song from that... s-game, "Titania and Macbeth". Take it away, Fox McCloud.

[''Tape stop and resumes with Star Fox 64 - Titania and Macbeth'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to every-

[''Chris is cut off in the middle of a word'']

===Part VIII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VIII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Z9ZB40YL0e8}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
''[Video cuts in mid-sentence from previous video]''

'''Chris:''' -thing KCWC and we're about to play a couple of Disney songs now. First one we're gonna play is, uh-- a good one from ''Aladdin and the King of Thieves''. It's entitled, "Are You In Or Out?". Well, I dunno whether I'm in or out! ''[fake laugh]''. Dagum, I'm inside... aw, skip it! Anyway, here's a Disney song. Take it away, Aladdin.

''[Audio cuts out for a moment then begins playing "Are You In Or Out?" from ''Aladdin and the King of Thieves''.]''

''[Audio cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are tuned in to everything KCWC, and it is now 9:30 PM. I promised you two Disney songs and I'm gonna give you the second one. It is from the movie ''Pocahontas'' and it is entitled "Just Around the River Bend." That is a very nice song you know. So take it away, Pocahontas!

''[Audio cuts then begins playing "Just Around the River Bend" from ''Pocahontas''.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' And we're back. You're listening to everything KCWC an' right now we're gonna throw another contest. Just the last one for the day. And we're gonna play another song from a movie. An' if you can call in- and guess what movie this song is from, I will award that person- with a CD entitled "Frank Sinatra: The Capitol Collectors' Series". An' right now we're gonna give you the song. Oh yeah, and remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Hope you enjoy the song and I hope somebody calls in. Course I'll take anybody who'll give me de right answer. Take it away, mysterious song.

''[Audio skips then begins playing "Cotton Blossom" from ''Show Boat''.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC an' right now it is a quarter to midnight. Well, uh - we don't - uh, I'm sorry to say, but we don't have a winner for dat- last contest. By the way that was duh-"Cotton Blossom" from the movie ''Show Boat''. I guess nobody wanted a CD. Oh well, I'll just save it for next time. But right now, we're about to close up our station for the night. Bu-bu-but we're gonna give off a final little number from Frankie Sinatra. It was entitled "High Hopes", and I have high hopes in ya'll having good dreams tonight. ''[Elmer Fudd laugh]'' Well, good night folks. Okay, take it away Frankie... again.

''[Audio skips and begins playing "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Video cuts out in the middle of the song.]''

===Part IX===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hk77GPIABJ8}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]] [[2003|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
''[Video cuts in during the middle of "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra. The remainder of the slideshow has the debut [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] album playing during it. The video cuts off during "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]".]''

===Part X===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part X
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0aoToAm_n3A}}
| stardate = [[2003|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
[''Video is silent for 12 seconds before "BFF's (Best Friends Forever)" begins playing. The video ends during the middle of "[[Feel So Lonesome]]", funnily during the part where [[Britney Spears]] yells "STOP!".'']

===Part XI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part XI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|W3FnQ6xtqwU}}
| stardate = [[2003|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
[''The rest of "Feel So Lonesome" and the album plays. After the album ends, Chris begins playing "Other Random Favorite Songs". Next up is "Thinkin' Bout You" by [[Britney Spears]], and then "Free Up Your Mind" by Emma Bunton. The video cuts out in the middle of the latter song.'']

===Part XII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part XII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|q81oIfo4XzU}}
| stardate = [[2003|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
[''The rest of "Free Up Your Mind" by Emma Bunton plays, followed by "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes, "For You I Will" by Monica, and "Yellow is a Mellow Color" (again). The video cuts out in the middle of the last song.'']

===Part XIII===
<center>{{Protip|This video and its subsequent reuploads have no audio, due to being originally uploaded at a time when Warner Music Group would mute videos containing their songs.}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part XIII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5mFBrK5rfhk}}
| stardate = [[2003|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
[''The rest of M2M's "Don't Say You Love Me" plays, followed by the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]].'']

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
|name = Chris Chan's SlideShow of Photographs (2007) | REMASTERED
|ytid = Tncq5g3neu0
|stardate = 3 [[November 2025]]
|maker = [[Geno Samuel]]
|info = Remastered version with higher-quality photos
}}

[[Category:1990s]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]
[[Category:KCWC]]

{{CWC on TV}}

2001

2026-09-21T06:18:21Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:0583-CWC19-2.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2001'''.]]
[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|In '''2001''', Chris lost touch with [[Kellie Andes]].]]
[[Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|thumb|Cake Chris made for his mother's 60th birthday in '''2001'''. It features [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]...]]
[[Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|thumb|Early [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] art.]]

'''2001''' was the year that [[Chris]] turned 19 years old. It's worth mentioning that beginning from age 19 onwards, Chris has been rapidly gaining weight, as photos taken from this year show his growing double chin as well as the first noticeable appearance of his [[manboobs]].

Among other events, this year saw Chris joining [[eBay]], as well as beginning (and ending) his job at [[Wendy's]], which would turn out to be the only sort of employment (next to [[Cutco|an MLM stint]]) he'd ever pursue.

==Events of 2001==
===January===
* '''17 January''' - [[Copitz]] is born.
* '''29 January''' - Chris posts the confusingly-titled "Issue #1" of [[Sonichu's News Dash]], which consists of the cheat codes for five [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] games. He updates [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].
* '''31 January''' - [[Sega]] announces they will be exiting the console business to focus exclusively on game developing and publishing.

===February===
* '''3 February''' - Chris makes a new [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] card.
* '''13 February''' - Chris updates [[CWC's PokéSite 2]]. He adds some images.
* '''20 February''' - Chris creates a [[Metonic]] Pokemon card.
* '''21 February''' - Chris creates the "_______'s Sonichu" card.
* '''22 February''' - [[Rosey]], the offspring of a [[Rosechu]], is conceived by Chris. Chris also makes another Sonichu card, calling him "the fastest Pokemon alive."
* '''24 February''' - Chris's 19th [[birthday]]. A picture is taken of Chris as he prepares to leave the house wearing a Manchester High sweatshirt that is somewhat small for him, a non-matching blue shirt underneath his sweatshirt, a backpack, a cheap digital watch, leather gloves and his Ash Ketchum hat. It is assumed that he likely wore outfits like this during his first year at PVCC.

===March===
* '''1 March''' - Chris creates the Racing Sonichu card.
* '''6 March''' - Chris makes an Archie Comics cover for "[[Sonic The Hedgehog]] vs. Sonichu."
* '''14 March''' - [[Vamprosa]], [[Rosechu]]'s evolution, is born.
* '''31 March''' - Sega's final console, the Dreamcast, is discontinued.

===May===
* '''28 May''' - Chris joins [[eBay]].

===June===
* '''June''' - [[LEGO|Bionicle]] is released in the U.S.
* '''6 June''' - Chris makes a CD called "Linda Ronstadt (En [[Spanish|Espanol]])."<ref>[[:File:051-LindaRonstadtCD.jpg]]</ref>
* '''19 June''' - Shadow the Hedgehog's first appearance, in ''Sonic Adventure 2''. He would later be ripped off as [[Blake]].

===July===
[[File:2002 BrickFest7.jpg|thumb|Chris and [[Bob]] at BrickFest.]]

* '''12 July''' - Chris shoots "[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]" video.
* '''13-15 July''' - Chris and his father Bob attend BrickFest 2001.

===August===
* '''August''' - Chris enters his second year at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].
* '''August''' - Chris starts working at [[Wendy's]] according to his [[Chris's résumé|résumé]] (in the [[Father Call]] he implies that he started earlier).
* '''Summer''' - Chris loses touch with his [[gal-pal]] [[Kellie Andes]].

===September===
[[File:Memory-card-15-2.jpg|thumb|The infamous Dark Arbok.]]

* '''September (before 11 September)''' - Chris is fired from [[Wendy's]] according to the [[Father Call]].
* '''4 September''' - [[Bob]] turns 74.
* '''11 September''' - A newly unemployed Chris goes shopping with [[Barbara]] at a Dollar Tree.<ref>[[September 2012 Facebook_posts#September 11]]</ref> He buys a card which turns out to be a [https://web.archive.org/web/20120719044537/http://www.pokemontradingpost.com/images/Rocket/H-2_Dark_Arbok.jpg Dark Arbok], which he seems to see as a negative omen.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Also, Chris is allegedly [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|saddened]] by the [[terrorist]] attacks on the World Trade Center. [[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]'s mother ([[Kacey]]'s grandmother) dies in the WTC, while Kacey herself was volunteering as a rescue worker at Ground Zero, donating blood and providing medical aid to wounded survivors.

===October===
* '''October''' - Chris stops working at [[Wendy's]] (according to his [[Chris's résumé|résumé]]).
* '''1 October''' - Barb turns 60. Chris puts [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on her cake.
* '''2 October''' - Chris updates [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].

===November===
* '''17 November''' - Chris creates the Mystery-to-Solve card.
* '''29 November''' - Chris creates the Hooked on Sonichu card.

===December===
[[File:Sing-A-Longs For Madeline CD image 2.jpg|thumb|Sing-A-Longs For Madeline]]

* '''December''' - For [[Christmas]], Chris makes a CD for his cousin [[Madeline]], and he also makes a copy for himself.<ref>[[Cwclight#Sing-A-Longs For Madeline - Original CD Burned and Decorated by JCWCSP]]</ref>
* '''4 December''' - Chris creates "CWC's Vroom-A-Zoom!," his [[Hot Wheels]] website.

==References==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

2002

2026-09-21T06:18:03Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|thumb|Chris, turning 20 in '''2002'''.]]

'''2002''' was the year that [[Chris]] turned 20 years old. What Chris did in this year is mostly a mystery, but it <s>might</s> almost definitely includes playing [[vidya]].

==Events==
===January===
* '''January''' - Chris opens his own [[Lego|Bionicle]] website.

===February===
* '''20 February''' - The Shining [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] card is created.
* '''24 February''' - Chris's 20th [[birthday]]. He creates the [[Rainbow|Turbo Rainbow]] card to put on [[The Wall of Originals]]. He also receives an AstroPad (a third-party Dreamcast controller), some Bionicles, the ''Super Mario 64'' soundtrack, a ''Powerpuff Girls'' card, some Sonic figurines and a ''Sonic Advance'' strategy guide.

===March===
* '''March''' - The ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' [[TCG]] is launched worldwide.
* '''11 March''' - Armat, Steeline and Dark Steeline are created by Chris.
* '''15 March''' - Chris updates [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
* '''16 March''' - Chris offers a [[naïve]] definition of love when he creates the Sonichu & [[Rosechu]] card. "Sonichu and Rosechu love each other so much, that neither one ever forgets the other's Birthday."
* '''21 March''' - Chris creates the Evil Energy card.
* '''24 March''' - Evails, the famous Eevee-Tails hybrid, is born, as well as its evolution, Supreon. Also, Chris creates the Whammy!!!... card, featuring a character ripped off from the 80's game show ''Press Your Luck''.
* '''25 March''' - Chris makes a Dark Christian card, and threatens to kill [[Harry Potter]] on it.
* '''28 March''' - [[Ultra Sonichu]] is created by Chris. He updates [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].

===April===
* '''5 April''' - Techti and Cytiger, technological Pokémon, are born.
* '''11 April''' - Chris creates the [[Sonichu Ball]] card.
* '''13 April''' - Chris creates the Chaos Emerald card, and makes two [[Power Rangers]] themed cards called "Bulk and Skull" and "Sonichu Zord".

===May===
* '''15 May''' - Chris creates the Shiney Stadium card.
* '''16 May''' - Fox cancels ''[[Family Guy]]''.
* '''31 May''' - Chris buys a GameCube.<ref>''"I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two."'', [[Animal Crossing Documentary#Transcription|Animal Crossing Documentary]] </ref>

===June===
* '''June''' - Chris stops working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[Toys "R" Us]].
* '''June''' - Chris starts working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[The GAMe PLACe]].
* '''11 June''' - ''[[Excel Saga]]'' is released on DVD in North America. Chris gets into the show soon afterwards.

===July===
[[File:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|thumb|Rockersville]]

* '''19-21 July''' - Chris attends [[BrickFest]] 2002 and displays a Lego version of himself at "Rockersville", Virginia.
* '''24 July''' - Chris makes a homemade card of [[Blake]], called Black Sonichu at the time.

===August===
* '''August''' - Chris enters his third year at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].

===September===
* '''September''' - Chris signs his own guestbook on his website as [[Ricardo]], and says that [[Harry Potter]] is a "spaz".
* '''4 September''' - [[Bob]]'s 75th birthday.
* '''7 September''' - The Christian's Maintenance card is created for the [[Wall of Originals]].
* '''17 September''' - [[Caden Peck]] is born.

===October===
* '''1 October''' - Barb's 61st birthday.

===November===
* '''21 November''' - Release of ''[[Pokémon|Pokémon Ruby]]'' and ''[[Pokémon|Sapphire]]'': first appearance of [[Pokémon#Boulder-Dropping Whale|Wailord]] and [[Pokémon#Mudkip|Mudkip]].

===December===
[[File:Santa letter 2002.jpeg|thumb|]]

* '''7 December''' - A letter Chris addressed to [[Santa Claus]] wishing for a video game, gifts for relatives and friends, and for [[Sonichu]] to be made real, is published in the local ''Daily Progress'' newspaper.<ref>[[Chris in the media#Daily Progress]]</ref>
* '''10 December''' - Barb is pulled over and is charged with the following offense: "DEFECTIVE RIGHT SIDE BRAKE LT".<ref>[[:File:Barbchan2.PNG]]</ref>

== References ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Lars Call

2026-09-21T03:30:30Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|Lars, with boat. ''Sheeeiiit''.]]

{{quote|I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the booty call! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang!|[[Chris]], talking like a [[niggo]].}}

{{quote|I want [[Jackie]] and I want to be able to keep my [[video games]].|[[Chris]], torn between two loves}}

The '''Lars Call''' was a ninety-minute phone conversation on 4 [[November 2010]] where Chris talked with [[Jackie]]'s [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] [[JERKS|ex-boyfriend]] [[Lars]] (actually [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/abl-q-a.805/#post-54378</ref>), discussing addictions, a parade he promised Jackie, what he would do for a woman, and boats, all in a surprisingly civil manner (especially given the [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|previous]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|videos]] Chris made about Lars). Chris got comfortable with {{w|Ebonics}}, and hilarity ensued. Near the end of the call, Lars mentions he's going to have [[Chris and sex|sex]] with Jackie, and Chris completely misses what he just said as he hangs up the phone, once again proving how dense Chris really is.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Lars Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|sa0arS6afRw}}
| Stardate = 6 November 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Jackie]]; [[Lars]]
| Saga = [[Saga#Jackie_Saga_.28April_5.2C_2010_-_November_26.2C_2010.29|Jackie]]
}} </center>

==Summary==
* Jackie (likely voiced by [[Kim Wilson]], though she also sounds remarkably similar to [[Kacey]]) greets Chris before handing the phone to Lars.
* Chris confronts Lars about him forcing Jackie to have an involuntary abortion. Lars says "my bad", and explains he was not ready for such a high-maintenance task like raising a child.
* Lars got rid of his boats, Chris gets rid of his [[Lego|Legos]].
* Lars didn't finish school because people played [[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]].
* Lars doesn't understand [[autism]], after Chris's explanation, he thought it was [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and [[Ultra Sonichu|<s>Down Syndrome</s> Downtism]].
* Chris whines about [[trolls]], not getting a [[job]], and being called a [[homo]]. Lars hears him.
* Chris doesn't like when people say "[[gay]]" [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#Transcript|as in stupid]], Lars doesn't like when people say "nigga" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|out of context.]]
* Chris explains his [[comic]], and how he incorporates IRL enemies into it. Lars tells him to continue the comic in order to conquer the trolls.
* Lars says Jackie is upset because she isn't an inspiration for Chris to do the comic, and he sometimes doesn't do what he tells her he will.
* Chris tells Lars he's a [[virgin]]; Lars says that explains his rage against the trolls.
* Chris rewrites the comic so he doesn't kill "[[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Bason Nigga]]".
* Jackie better not burn that casserole.
* Lars notes how Chris promised a parade for Alec to Jackie. Chris denies it, but Lars has the [[Jackie_E-mails_20|e-mail proving he did]].
* Jackie initially broke up with Lars because he told her he'd lose the boats, and he didn't. Chris feels him.
* Lars gives Chris the coveted "N-word pass". Chris is Lars's nigga.
* Chris is willing to give up [[the Moon]] and Mercury if he had it, for Jackie. He's really giving up video games, but he won't sell his "[[PS3|PS Triple]]".
* Lars spent $35,000 on six credit cards for boats. He won't let addiction rule his life anymore.
* Chris swears on the grave on his [[Aunt Corina]] he will not spend anymore on his [[PS3]] (at least it wasn't [[Patti]]).
* Lars spent nine months as a volunteer at a hospital, enjoying the sight of [[Bob|old white men]] dying.
* More bitching about [[trolls]].
* Lars and Chris talk about their criminal records, Lars makes trespassing sound bad ass.
* Chris apparently turns into a nigga himself as about halfway in and speaks in Ebonics (off and on) the remainder of the call.
* Chris would [[Death threats|shoot]] [[Michael Snyder]] if he had the chance. Michael was just looking for a reason to [[ban]] Chris.
* Lars gives Chris a scenario of someone breaking in. Chris says he's [[100_2278|strong]] and would kick their ass (but only if they hit first).
* Chris likes black people on [[TV]]. Lars gets mildly offended upon hearing how Chris likes ''Sanford & Son''. They both hold up their fists in black solidarity.
* The conversation goes back to Jackie. Lars himself notes how well the two are getting along despite their shaky start, and wonders why Jackie is mad at Chris.
* Chris claims that he will make things right.
* Lars tells Chris that his [[dick]] is four inches of straight goodness.
* Lars burned his boats because he wants Jackie back and suggested that Chris burn his PS3 to get Jackie back.
* Lars thinks he has the upper hand over Chris in the competition over Jackie. He was known as "Ram-rod" in [[High School]].
* Chris talks about his [[Cherokee]] heritage. He's not a "casino nigga" and beats the stereotype that Native Americans have jobs.
* Lars respects Chris trying to win Jackie back, while Lars is "[[Hanky-panky|ramrodding]]" her.
* Chris talks about [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying his first PS3]], Lars questions why he got a second one. Chris says he needs it as a computer. Lars asks why he didn't get a computer instead.
* Lars tells Chris to improve himself whether Jackie stays with him or not.
* Jackie can't come to the phone; she's taking a massive shit, courtesy of [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]].
* Chris whines that making changes is [[Autism|too hard]].
* Lars says Chris is afraid of women. Chris denies it.
* Chris makes some [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|suspicious-sounding grunts]]. He says he didn't have [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]] for dinner, but a fish fillet.
* Lars lost his virginity at 8; he was scared, so he only made the bitch cum twice.
* Lars tells Chris if he loses the PSTriple, his ass will be kicked out on the street and Jackie will be at Chris's doorstep the following day.
* Lars concludes with the fist of solidarity, he will bang Jackie when she gets out of the bathroom.
* Chris promises [[Honest]]y to Lars, he wants Jackie AND [[video games]].
* Chris likes [[Fanta|orange soda]].
* Lars didn't know what [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']] or Nickelodeon was. In fact, he's more familiar with the 1920s-era coin theaters that granted the TV channel its namesake.
* Lars wraps up the call so Chris can go to bed, and so Lars can go fuck Jackie.

===Stats===
* The word "nigga" is used 185 times. Chris uses the word four times.
* "Shit" is used 554 times.
* "Yo" is used 46 times.

==Transcript==

===You Are Now About to Witness the Strength of Street Knowledge (0:01 - 7:00)===
'''Jackie:''' [''In shrill, forced enthusiasm''] Oh hi Chris, it's Jackie! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' ...Oh... Jackie... Hi.
 '''Jackie:''' Well I got your email!-
 '''Chris:''' Well- Yeah. Oh, uhhh. Yep. What's a... What's... a... [''sounds of frantic typing''] what's... a what's... uh, your response there?
 '''Jackie:''' Um, sorry I missed your- missed you last night, I just didn't know if you'd be around! Listen, I'm going to turn you over to Lars right now, and I'll be listening. So you-
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Jackie:''' -two boys play nice, ok?
 '''Chris:''' Um, ok.
 '''Jackie:''' Lars!
 '''Lars:''' YO! [[Women's rights|BITCH WHERE MAH DINNER AT?!]]
 '''Chris:''' ...hmm, hello?
 '''Lars:''' Yo!, yo-yo-yo. Who dis at?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo dawg?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo who did-did? Yo this be Lars and shit, who dis?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, this is Christian.
 '''Lars:''' Yo! yo, Christian C. How y'all doin' dawg?
 '''Chris:''' Um, I'm-fu- I'm fairing out. How are you?
 '''Lars:''' Doin' alright, nigga. Shit. Yo, I'll be honest with y'all dawg. I ain't wanna do this call and shit at first, y'know? You diggin' and shit? Bet y'all pro'lly felt the same way, and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' But then my-m, my girl Jackie, she be all like: "Bitch, you best be doin' this call! Lest I'll be all breakin' up you with y'all and shit." So I be like doin' the call and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dawg-
 '''Chris:''' ...Ye-
 '''Lars:''' -what you wanna talk about?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well, uh... yeah for uh... well, for one thing, well, I know what you put- what you did do to Jackie a while back, you spike- you spiked her coffee and killed the unborn child.
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo yo yo, dog, yo dog. That my bad and shit, yeah. I'll own up to that shit, sure, shiiit. That's in the past and shit, dog. I own up to that shit, and that's in the past. And I own up to that shit. Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, but how did you own up to that?
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't do that shit no more. I made that shit up. Yo dog, what you talkin' 'bout? Shit be long gone, water over the bridge and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, the fact remains that she was pregnant with your child, then she lost it.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, all got- I ain't ready to be no baby daddy and shit. Shit, yo, nigga get scared and shit, fuck. Y'all know what that be like and shit. Y'all ain't be no a-dult and shit, you know? Ain't ready to take on no a-dult responsiblities. Fuck. I done pour libations and shit for that baby, I tell ya what.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I done regret it and shit. You know? Shit happens. Shit be in the past, though and shit. I'm a new nigga, now. You dig, you feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, so I be burn no baby no baby fetus no more neither. I'm ready for baby now. I got a job and shit, I got rid of my stupid boats and shit too, damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard you burned those boats.
 '''Lars:''' Got rid of all of them boats. Not just my boats, neither. Got rid of boats, got rid of my expansion pass for boats, got rid of my paint kits for them boats, shit you know dog, I be goin' through my closet and shit, I got paint kit for boats I ain't even own, nigga. Man, sometimes a nigga just face his life and shit, when he ain't facin' it, he ain't realize what he got, 'til it's gone. Be like the song, and shit. You gots to get rid of all that shit, you feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I got boats in the closet, boats in the yard, boats in the living room, boats in the lawn, boats in my driveway and shit. Boats on the roof and shit. Shit be takin' over my house. Like a bad habit and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, y'all got- y'all got any [[Recycling|nasty habits]] and shit there Chris?
 '''Chris:''' N-nasty habits?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, you know, any boats and shit? Model [[Wikipedia:Planes, Trains and Automobiles|planes, and trains, and automobiles]] maybe? Anything that be weighing you down, and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah-
 '''Lars:''' We all got our demons and shit. You must got somethin', lay it on me, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Oh... okay, well I did have [[CWCville|a whole city]] made out of [[Lego]]s that I tore- I des- pretty much tore it down, and-
 '''Lars:''' Huh, y'all done got a city of [[Lego]]s and shit? Man, I feel you, that's gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How much 'fetti y'all get for all them Legos, how much money you get?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, nah I didn't get very- I didn't give no- I didn't get much money from... I did- there just a whole bunch- a whole bunch of pieces of bricks and whatnot and people are already on their way and most children already have their own bunches of Legos, and they're like they don't need it any more to call up their house and all that.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, I feel you. Take them Legos to the bank, get some Lego bills and shit. Man, I just took $30 worth of nickels to the bank this mornin'. Got myself some bills, I did. [[Wikipedia:United States twenty-dollar bill|Jackson]] and [[Wikipedia:United States ten-dollar bill|a Hamilton]] and shit, goin' to [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeyes Chicken]] with that shit. Bet you feel that, right dog? Y'all ever been to Popeyes and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, no I cannot say I have sampled Popeyes-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, oh dog you missin' out, missin' out. Damn good chicken and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure it is, I have heard good things about Popeyes.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight a'ight a'ight, you feel me, you feel me, and I feel you and shit. Damn, nigga. Yo, yo, I be digressin' and shit, we gettin' off topic. We be talkin' 'bout yours and mines nasty habits and shit, what else do you got, dog? Lay it on me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' I feel all righteous and shit, gettin' rid of all my boats, feel like a new nigga and shit. Feel like a whole new day be startin' for me. You ever have a feelin' like that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have felt that way before.
 '''Lars:''' Tell me all about it, dog.

=== Slow Times at Manchester High (7:00 - 12:30)===
'''Chris:''' Well pretty much felt like- felt like a big time star and all that when I had a good number of [[gal-pals|friends]] back in high school. But then I had- then I graduated and had to leave [[Chesterfield County]] where I was going to [[high school]] and move back [[Ruckersville]]. And then it just, pretty much went downhill for me, and I didn't have too many friends.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, I hear high school be fun and shit. Oh no, dropped out halfway through seventh grade and shit. That's a cross I had to bear and shit. Dayum.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Been tryin' to go to high school and shit, ain't no niggas in the school system be wantin' no nigga up in their classroom. They be playin' "[[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]]" and shit. Shit ain't gangsta, they be straight bustas and shit. Fuckin' niggas. Y'all know 'bout getting tormented and shit, ain't you? Tormented for your differences and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my [[autism]] and considerable [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mindedness]], that has happened to me before.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, dog, au-austiss- wait, the fuck that shit be? D- au...
 '''Chris:''' Autism, it's a- uh, it's a slowness in the mind where, it just, uh, it basically inhibits social functions. Y'know, being able to socialize as well as normal people. You can look it up on [[Wikipedia]].
 '''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be a slow-in-the-mind and shit, then, huh? Like that [[Wikipedia:Down syndrome|Down syndrome]] and shit. My cousin got that shit. Ain't got no neck and shit. Fuckin' shit, nigga can't fit no shirts.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, it's not uh- it is not Down syssdrome, it's way different from Down syndrome, just look it up on Wikipedia, and it's [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].
 '''Lars:''' Be more like that [[Asperger's]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Lars:''' I ain't know anyone with that Asperger's, I hear that's some shit. They be all up in them trains and shit. Maybe I should get tested for that shit, I have my boats and shit. I probably grew out of it though, got rid my boats, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So you got them Asperger's and shit, all right dog- all right. I hear you, I feel you. I feel you, yo, we all got our- we all got our differences, we all gots our liabilities.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What else you got dog? Yo dog, you- you seem like a nice nigga and shit. Man, I ain't think this call gonna be pleaseant and shit, but so far we be doin' good. I ain't know why Jackie be comin' back to me and shit, when she got you. Says she ain't happy with you though. Why we gotta be talkin'? Why Jackie havin' us do this shit? She ain't explain nothing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, she’s, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Man, yo, I love the bitch and shit, sometimes she treat me like a fuckin’ [[Wikipedia:House slave|house nigga]]. Shit, won’t-bitch won’t tell me nothin’.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear you. [[Barb|My-my mom]]-it happens between my mom and [[Bob|dad]]. It’s, uh, lack of communication and-yeah, shit like that.
 '''Lars:''' Feel that, feel that. Fifty percent of marriages in this country lead to divorce because of that shit. Now, I’m a black man, so I’m naturally afraid of marriage and shit, so that probably ain’t gonna affect me and [[Jackie]]. But still, shit ain’t right. Shit ain’t gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear-
 '''Lars:''' Shit ain't [[Wikipedia:Cornbread|cornbread]].
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' So why Jackie be not happy with you and shit? I mean, y'all know why Jackie wasn't happy with me. I wanna know why Jackie ain’t happy with you. We got-we got’s to bond like true niggas.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well, uh, she and I, uh, we’ve had our, uh, our fights as well, but, uh, with my [[computer]] went, uh, went all on the fritz and I wasn’t able to get back out-to get back on, and it’s like, I can’t afford to get a new computer right now to, uh, replace-a new computer tower, and, uh, and we-and we haven’t been able to talk to each other through, uh, AIM and, uh, she’s kinda felt neglected on that. And, uh, also she requested me to upload-to make and upload videos to [[YouTube]] for her, which I have done, and, uh-
 '''Lars:''' A’ight, a’ight, I know about them videos and shit. I’ve been watching that shit. Man, I’ve been wondering what that shit all about, then I find out Jackie been asking y'all to do shit. Yo yo yo yo dawg, let me ask you a question and shit, though. Yo-
 '''Chris:''' Uh huh.
 '''Lars:''' You been doing these-You been doing these videos and shit. Why she be mad and shit? You be doing what she asks, right? You be doing everything-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' -she asks? (pause) Somethin’ about-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Somethin’ about some comic she was bitchin’ about the other day. I was like, “Bitch! Go make me my fuckin’ steak dinner, bitch!” But she just keep railing on about [[Book10Replacement|that fuckin’ comic video]]. I watched that comic video, you scribbled some shit, maybe ‘cause you ain’t colorin’ shit, I don’t know.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie-Jackie like them colors. Yo, hell, I ain’t got to tell you she like colors. She like me. That’s all the color she needs. I guess she wanted more color from you, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I mean, I recorded that video, I hadn't had a chance to color it in yet, but I had planned to color it in after that, and uh, and th- and I'll be taking the, uh video file and uploading to YouTube at the, uh, library. I just haven't been able to get out in my car lately.

===Turf Wars (12:30 - 16:00)===
'''Lars:''' I heard it be somethin' 'bout you pickin' fights with- with artisans and shit, other cartoonists? You be like, [[troll]]in' and shit. Startin' gang wars and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Turf wars? I come from the streets, I know what turf war be all about.
 '''Chris:''' Eh.
 '''Lars:''' Shit. Ain't no winners in that game. Everybody lose.
 [''Pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's uh, not really a turf war, it's- ah, but I guess it can be considered like that. It's a- I have- I have been havin' my fights and bouts against a- like, a Internet bullies, and cyberbullies. Trolls.
 '''Lars:''' What is-
 '''Chris:''' [''interjecting''] They just, uh- they just, uh- think they're breaking uh- I became like, a Internet celebr- Internet c-celebrity with my, uh, crea- my uh, my genius of [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic]], in my comics and whatnot. So yeah, they uh, just essentially torture me. They, uh- They- they- they- like, they- uh, really weigh me down. And plus, they, uh- like, called my, like, got my, they got overtime from between the hackings and they uh, pretend to be other people, and- and uh, and all that damn shit. It's, they uh- get a whole bunch of, uh [''unintelligible'']
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog. I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' They get a whole bunch of footage from me and they just twist it and turn it the wrong way and just make my-and they just smear my once good name in the mud. Makes it very hard for me to get a job of my own with the background checks. Then-and they pretty much Google my-Google my name and all you get was, uh-all you get’s pretty much, other than the first, and their sole results is, uh, damn [[CWCki]] and uh, damn [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and that’s just a whole bunch of weigh-me-downs-
 '''Lars:''' I feel ya, I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] –bad about me.
 '''Lars:''' That fuckin’ man hold a nigga down. Shit, I’ve been living that shit, whole life and shit. Damn. Fuckin’ niggas tryin’ to hold a nigga down. Yo yo, yo-
 '''Chris:''' You know, Lars-
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo, let m-oh, no no, you go ahead, dawg. You go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Lars:''' You go on with your righteous self.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, they also misla-they also mislabel me as a [[homos]]exual when I am a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Homosexual and shit? Damn. Like on the [[Wikipedia:Down-low (sexual slang)|DL]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']
 '''Lars:''' That what they say?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they be calling me- yeah, they be calling me gay. But I'm a- but I'm a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Man, I know these niggas. Y'all like, they be all like men who have sex with men an' shit? They call themselves gay, but I'm like, nigga, you be gay if you be having sex with men. I mean, what that shit about? Fuckin' gay niggas, ain't wanna admit they gay. You know that gay shit, though, I think it's that, that macho shit. Ain't no black man want to admit to being a gay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Dawg.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] Yeah, yeah plus you know what also, you know along those lines what really ticks me off is when they-when they use the word "gay" when they really mean "stupid" or "retarded."
 '''Lars:''' Shit. All be like when niggas be using the word nigga an' shit. That be our word and shit, ain't no one got the right to use that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You know how that feels 'an shit, it hurts me. Right here. Right fucking here.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be tappin' my chest, where my heart muscle is? You can't see it 'cause we on the phone, but that's what I be doin'. To enunciate my point. So.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' What you sayin' is, when people call you gay, that be hurting you the same way, 'cause "gay" be like your word. Just like "nigga" be like my word, an' shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Essentially, yeah, I know.

===The Alec Bason Nigga Parade (16:00 - 26:43)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo, dog, dog. Let me, let me go back, let me ax you. Ya'll say you be drawin' comics and shit, what kind of comics you draw, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ugh, it's uh, from a idea I had. Uh, in a nutshell it's essentially combining [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Called him, uh, [[Sonichu]]. And that's all--he's like this, he actually goes on the adventures and whatnot, similar to Sonic the Hedgehog in one, he's got like electric powers and he can run fast and everything. They, and he hangs around, he hangs around, goes out with [[Rosechu|his girlfriend]] and uh, yeah, eventually they get married and uh, they have [[Sonee & Rosey|children]].
 '''Lars:''' Shit, be like [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie comics]] and shit. Y'know, I always though Archie be [[Homos|gay]] an' shit. Fuckin' Archie.
 '''Chris:''' N-no-
 '''Lars:''' [[Wikipedia:Archie Bunker|Archie Bunker]] with his negativity, fuckin' callin' people nigger. Gooks. Swanks. Wanks. Negros. All of his [[Wikipedia:Jughead Jones|jughead]] remarks, shit. Fuckin' Archie. That be like what [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]] is like, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean essentially, that would be what it would've been, but then I, then that, I kind of like lost track of when the trolls, the cyberbullies, they weighed me down. And then they, then you know the expression, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Well, they used to get on my mind so much that they get, then I end up drawing them into my comic books, making them into villains, and yadda-yadda-yadda. They just, they just...and they just essentially just worsened my... most of my books. And then-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered adulterous. Even some, even some-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Even some-
 '''Lars:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' Even some [[nudes|naked]] things I had but I, I just up and did. You know.
 '''Lars:''' You ain't be drawing your comic because these, 'cause these white niggas what be hatin' on your work. They be drinkin' all that Haterade. That why you ain't be drawing. I see.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Aw shit, dog! That be why Jackie asked you to do the comic and shit! Shit, it all falls together now, the last puzzle piece in place. Cracka, you know if you stop that it means they win, right? Ya'll gots to get up on that comic and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I real, yeah, I really do need to get back to drawing more, drawing more p, drawing more comics and pages. But I just haven't been able to find the inspiration. They weighed me down so bad they just affe-, they just affected (?) me in the back of my mind and my subconscious.
 '''Lars:''' 'Em dog Jackie be telling me she thought she'd be your inspiration and shit. Ain't that the case and shit? What be goin' on then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she, yeah, she did-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be all like...Jackie be all like "Aw shit, nigga!" That's what she said to me, she said "Aw shit, nigga! Why ain't Chris be drawin' no comic for me? Ain't I no inspiration and shit? Dayum!" And I'll be like "Damn, bitch! Go make me my steak dinner!" Bitch be ballin' and shit. Fuckin' smack a ho... shit keeps up. Why you ain't draw the comic and shit for her?
 '''Chris:''' Y-y-you can't, you can't exactly rush inspir- you can't exactly rush inspiration, for... uh... for one thing.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo! But ain't, ain't my bitch Jackie, ain't she give you the story and shit for this comic vidya?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she gave me the idea of, like uh, for uh, for the, for uh, one dude who originally was definitely not original part of the comic scene, but then he did his [[parody]] against me, and uh, in his comic he portrayed killing me and, they're like getting to war (?) go against me and uh, even, even agreeing with this, even agreeing with this guy who pretends, who uh, pretends to be me and... (sigh). Just more, whole bunch of more shit right there. Anyway, what, anyway what she wanted me to throw him a- she wanted me to throw like a parade in a, in a, in a... in the comic, in my comic scene. And you know, like, you know, I mean he did what he did to me in his comics and I took it literally. It's like, you know, he fuckin', he fuckin' just shot, he fuckin' just, a whole bunch of bullet wounds in one go on my, on my, on myself. And I ain't gonna throw him a parade on that, on that, on that scene and whatnot.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, I feel you angry an' shit, dog, I feel you furious an' shit. You furious at this nigga. An' I feel it. You know, dog-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be talkin' to me. Jackie be sayin', ain't the problem that you hate this nigga. Problem be, that you lie to her and tell her you gonna do it when you ain't mean to. What up with that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Long pause]'' Well, I have told her that I was eh-I would not be giving him a parade but she just insisted on that and she just, uh, and I would, I would say that she just, kind of like, got in her mind that, she thought that was that-I was definitely going to do that, even though-
 '''Lars:''' My shoulder, Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Told her-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo dog, yo dog, my shoulder, Jackie. She be all like, she email you and ax you to do this video an' shit, an' then you email her back and say, "Yeah bitch, ain't no problem an' shit, I'll be doin' that." Ya'll ain't made no, no... no prov-ver-acations an' shit. Ya'll ain't made no provesations.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well, I mean that, I told her I would, that I would draw her the pages, but I did not tell her that I was going to throw him- throw him a parade in the pages because I had said that I was not giving him a fucking parade.
 '''Lars:''' She said she wanted a parade an' shit, and then you write back saying you were gonna do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' I mean I feel her anger. I feel her righteousness and shit. Lie of omission still be a fuckin' lie and shit. Ya'll dig, dog?
 '''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man, y'all got anger and shit, and I feel that. I feel that, I really do and shit nigga, but y'all got to stand up to yo' woman and shit, damn! Woman be tellin' you to do shit, y'all ain't just be lyin' to her. You gots a problem wit' yo' woman, you ain't lie to her, then all you got's two problems. Ya dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, what was that?
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid? ''[[China|Pussy]].''
 '''Chris:''' How often-
 '''Lars:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' How often do I get laid?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, when the last time you cut some trim and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... I'm actually a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]].
 '''Lars:''' Aw, shit, dog. Explains that anger and shit. This be why you angry at them trolls.
 '''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Yeah, among other things.
 '''Lars:''' Shit dog, see- See dog, you be lyin' to women and shit, they ain't like that. Man, you ain't wanna do what no woman tells you to do, you just tell her straight up to her face. Then you have her go make you a steak dinner and shit. But you ain't lie to her and shit. Shit ain't gangsta. Shit be straight busta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did tell her straight- I did tell her straight up that I was not gonna be throwing that- I was not gonna be throwin' him a fuckin' parade. I was not gonna draw him in a parade.
 '''Lars:''' [''Talking over each other''] Yo dog, I be looking at printouts and shit. Y'all know us niggas don't be doin' too well on the Internet, Jackie be printin' out printouts and shit for me. Yo I be lookin' at printouts and shit. And...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' In the email, she said, "Hey Chris, why don't y'all do that parade video for that, Alec... Alec Bason... Nigga, whatever his name is. Alec Bason Nigga. And then you say, "Sure Jackie, I'll be on that shit!" Y'all ain't make not protestations. why ain't y'all say nothing then?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. Well-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all said you gonna do it. Ya'll not mean to do it. You feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, tomorrow, to let you know, uh- This, it was essentially, in the replacement pages where I do not, uh, end up, I do not end up giving Alec a gory- and his crew, a gory demise, like I did originally. ''(Pause)'' I did not-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, bitch Jackie said to throw this nigga a parade. You say "a'ight, I'm a do that." Then you didn't. ''(Pause)'' You be lyin' to women and shit often, dog? This be why you still a virgin and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)''
 '''Lars:''' Smellin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' No- No, it's... ''(Sigh)'' Well... Wait a minute, ''(Sigh)'' My brain- I gotta catch up my brain, here. Mm.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight. I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause; some grunting heard while Chris catches up his brain)''
 '''Lars:''' ''(At Jackie:)'' Yo bitch don't burn that [[Wikipedia:Casserole|casserole]]! Fuckin' bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' Hold- Hold on.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, you still there?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Yeah dog, I be here. I be wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Alright, well. Well, I do not mean to, I did not mean to lie to her, but I did tell her straight up that I did not- That I had no intention of throwing that... Of throwing that dude a parade.
 '''Lars:''' Nah dog, I be lookin' at the emails, she said to throw him a parade, you say you gonna do it. You ain't say "I ain't throwin' a parade."
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah well I told- Yeah I mean I told her I did not wanna throw him- throw him- throw him a parade.
 '''Lars:''' When you tell her this shit, I ain't see this shit. When you tell her you ain't throwin' a parade? I need some help and shit, dog, I ain't feelin' where you at.
 '''Chris:''' Well, maybe uh...
 '''Lars:''' Gots ourselves a... discommunication.
 '''Chris:''' I- Yeah... I think it was discommunication.
 '''Lars:''' No I mean between us and shit dog, I ain't feeling where you at. 'Cause I see the emails and shit, she say throw a parade for the nigga. You say a'ight. But you ain't mean a'ight.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I said- Well I said alright in drawing the replacement pages.
 '''Lars:''' You said a'ight to the whole email though.
 '''Chris:''' But I did not-
 '''Lars:''' You ain't pick out bits and pieces, and say yes to this, and no to that. That's why I'm- I be confused, I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah uh-

===Fueling the Fire (26:43 - 28:30)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, let me relate a cautionary tale an' shit. Shit, shit happened way back in Jackie an' I first relationship and shit. Man, bitch be all like, "Lars, you best be gettin' rid of them boats, lest I bounce and shit," and I be like, "A'ight, a'ight dog, I'll be gettin' ridda my boats and shit, shorty. Shit, you'll see and shit. Damn!" Then the bitch was like, "A'ight, you be gettin' rid of them boats, I don't wanna see no boats here in forty-eight hours." I'll be like, "A'ight." I ain't mean to get ridda them boats. I just went out and bought mo' boats. Shit, bitch was all like, "Lars, you need to lose boats. Y'all be like, addicted and shit. You need to stop buyin' boats and shit." I be like, "A'ight" every fuckin' time. Every fuckin' time. I just payin' the bitch [[Wikipedia:Lip service|lip service]] and shit. Soon enough, whole fuckin' house fulla boats and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I ain't ever mean to get ridda them boats, I just keep buyin' more boats. Y'all ever had anything like that shit? Someone want you to get ridda somethin', you say "a'ight"? Then you don't, and you just keep gettin' more? Fuckin' addiction, and shit. Fueling the fire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Be like slavery, fueling them flames of injustice and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Once you got that shit, can't stamp it out, and shit. Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all feel me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you. Hm. Alright well-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, anyway-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga? Whoa, whoa, dog. Who my nigga? Ya'll be my nigga, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Y'all be my nigga? Say it, dog. Say you my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... I'll be yo nigga.

===Never Gonna Give You Up (28:30 - 34:25)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeit. Dog be righteous and shit, up in here. Be all gangsta and shit. Nigga, I ain't expect this shit, y'all an me. We be homies and shit. Damn. I ain't know why Jackie wanna get rid a yo ass. That's what I'm tryin'a find out an' shit. 'Cause I'm confuzzled. Might be this lyin' and shit, maybe that be why she all mad at you an' shit. Might be somethin' else, I dunno. Anything else? What's goin' on there? ''(Pause)'' How much y'all love Jackie and shit?
 '''Chris:''' How mu- I- I love- I love- I care and love Jackie a lot.
 '''Lars:''' How much? How much- you love her more than what? Put it into quantintative terms and shit. ''(Pause)'' I'll be like-
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' I'll be like- Every night, I be like, "Jackie, I love yo ass more'n the moon an' shit. I would throw away the moon an' shit, Death Star that shit! Fuck. Ain't need to tides an' shit. All I need's my Jackie." Feelin' me? Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What'd y'all give up for that bitch?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well I mean, I'll give up- I mean I would give up most anything for... for Jackie and me to be together.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, she ever ask... ax you to be givin' up shit for her? ''(Pause)'' She ask me to give away my boats and shit. I be all like, refusin' an' shit, first time around. Shit be what burned our relationship. That and the whole fetus thing. Shit. Bitch ain't never gonna let me live that shit down. Be all harpin' on me, every time she serve me dinner and shit. Suckin' my dick, all I hear be like ''(Does impression of Jackie's dick-muffled voice)'' "Lars, why you kill my baby?" Fuckin' bitch. Yo, dog, I be digressin' and shit. Y'all my nigga, y'all gots to be cuttin' me off when I do that. Ten to wax philosophical and shit. My bad. My bad. Let's go back to that question and shit. What y'all givin' up for Jackie? ''(Pause)'' Thinka she like [[Wikipedia:Lent|Lent]] and shit, what you givin' up?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, If I had the moon I would give that up for her as well.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. Be all... poetical. Metaphorical and shit. Poetaphorical. Shit be romance, all [[Wikipedia:Hallmark Cards|Hallmark]] greetin' cards and shit. Bitches love that. Bitches be slobberin' all up on yo balls and dick when they hear that shit. Damn! ''(Pause)'' Practical terms, though, what y'all givin up for her? Like, like the metaphorical, I be givin' up the moon for the bitch. I ain't own the moon and shit. I ain't got no [[Wikipedia:Death Star|Death Star]]. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire]] gonna let no nigga in charge of a Death Star an' shit. Even that biggest galaxy nigga in the world, [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] and shit, turned out to be pasty fuckin' white dude underneath. Shit. [[Wikipedia:Lando Calrissian|Lando Calrissian]], fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sellin' out a nigga to the Empire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What y'all givin' up? I gave up my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I actually, uh...
 '''Lars:''' I burned them boats!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Ashes to ashes. Swords to plowsheds and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I tell you what, I'd be givin' up, uh... all other- I be givin' up, uh... The planet- The, uh planet closest to the Sun for Jackie. Mercury.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, nigga. Ain't that shit be all [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]] and shit now? They be cuttin' three inches off that planet's [[dick]] an' shit? Heard that shit back in [[2006]]. Fuck.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're thinkin' about- You're thinkin' of [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]], the planet that is ''farthest'' away from the Sun, this is the planet ''closest'' to the Sun.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I see. I see. Yeah, Space be black an' shit, but don't let that confuzzle you an' shit. Ain't no nigga goin' up in space, I tell ya what. Fuckin'-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man gonna keep a nigga down. Keep a nigga on the ground. Keep a nigga from flyin'. Keep a nigga from tryin'. Sheeeit. Got my finger on the trigger, niggas wonder why. Livin' in the city, it's do or die, nigga. Y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I know y'all feel me, y'all be my nigga an' shit. Who my nigga? Who my nigga, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I'm yo nigga.
 '''Lars:''' You're my nigga, dog. You're my nigga. A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, I feel you. Let's go back to the metaphorical, metafusical, question of the evening. Y'all be givin' up Mercury?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be givin up [[the Moon]]? Y'all be givin' up [[Wikipedia:Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Moons of Pluto|Nix and Hydra]], goddamn bullshit little moons. What else y'all givin' up? What practicalities and... reala-tala-calaties be you givin' up and shit? In the here and now, what be down here ain't no planet. What y'all givin' up for the bitch? ''(Pause)'' I would give up the Moon, and shit, and I'll give away Ceres, and [[Wikipedia:Proxima Centauri|Proxima Centauri]] and all that shit, but down here on the planet Earth, I be givin' away my boats and shit. Burnin' that shit. Put it to ash. Put them ashes on the mantle. Up on my fireplace and shit. Ain't got no ashes of my daddy, my daddy be fleein' me when I was a baby and shit. Ain't no black man can raise a baby, they all flee. So I ain't got my daddy's ashes. That ain't where he is. Y'all be my daddy for all I know. Shit. ''Man'', I be waxin' off again! You ever just wax off like that? Shit. Once you start, ya just can't stop. 'Til you pop. Fuckin' bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Anyway dog, I be takin' up all the air time- The word time, dawg, you gots ta lay it down for me, what y'all givin' up for Jackie? I'll be shuttin' up now, I'll be shuttin' up now, y'all see your piece, y'all be righteous.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, the uh, the rea- In the reality...
 '''Lars:''' Right, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'd be giving up my... video game time.

===The PS Triple Investment (34:25 - 48:15)===
'''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be gettin' rid a them vidya games and shit. Eh?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got rid of the, I got rid of a lot of video games I've been hoarding over the years.
 '''Lars:''' That [[PS3|PS Triple]] an' shit? Damn. Shit be like [[Chris and money|800 dollars]] and shit, right? Shit be like a money sink. I feel ya dog, be good you be gettin' ridda that shit. How much 'fetti you get for that shit? Y'sell that shit off. yeah?
 '''Chris:''' ''([[stress]]ful pause)'' No, I have not, no- I have not sold my... PlayStation 3. And it ha- and I have invested a lot ''into'' it. Ever since I had it.
 '''Lars:''' Invested and shit? Y'all be like playin' stocks and shit? What y'all talkin' 'bout, "investin'"?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it's just, you know... I downloaded a lot of stuff. On to it.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, I be downloadin' a lotta boats and shit, too. Ain't see me keepin' no boats around, I be burnin' all my boats. Ain't no investment, be a curse and shit. Like a black hole. That be one a them astronomical things. Think [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]] gonna turn into a [[Wikipedia:Black hole|black hole]] 'cause it pissed off about bein' a [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]]. Pluto be like, like a giant boat. Filled with (?) paint kits and shit. All that money.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be givin' up them vidya games. Whoa-whoa-wait, wait, nigga. Nigga, nigga, nigga, my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all say you givin' up them vidya games, but y'all got no- Y'all got the PS Triple and shit, still.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's another thing, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be confuzzled.
 '''Chris:''' That's another thing that, uh, kinda ticks me- It kinda ticks me off a bit, uh, I do not- I do not like it when... When uh, when the trolls, have been- You know, they pretty much seem to have started the trend of calling the PlayStation 3 a... "PS Triple". [[Chris and Hypocrisy|And I just do not- I just- That just rubs me the wrong way, man.]]
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog. Why y'all ain't like that and shit? Just be a box fulla toys and shit, why y'all be defendin' the name and shit? I mean I feel ya, wantin' to defend the name, defend the honor, defend the honor of a honest woman and shit? Man, I be all up on that shit. Wanna be up that poon tang, you gotta be defendin' that honor and shit. Man, like my bitch, little Cubby, he be sayin' "Bitch, yo bitch be all bitch and shit."
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' I be like, "I'm a pop yo ass."
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be standin'- I be standin' up for... I be standin' up for my woman too, you know, I defendin' her from any- from anybody that comes upon her. Yeah, look-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be defendin' your PS Triple like it be a woman and shit? I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' The PS... The PS Triple no woman, it just, it's just a... dang material possession. And the- and, and uh, and Jackie being the wonderful woman she is, and the wonderful person, very s- best person there is, you know... She's a lot more important than a dang ol' video game console. ''(Pause)'' But still, you know, after I invested a whole lot in there over the- over that- over that... my time I had it, it's like you know, I ain't gonna get that back and I'm certainly not gonna be able to get ''[indecipherable]'' for it. Face value.
 '''Lars:''' Ain't y'all gonna get Jackie and shit though? Ain't Jackie be worth more than a PS Triple and shit? Jackie cook a mean steak dinner and shit. All the fixins. Throw some [[Wikipedia:Grits|grits]] on there. Some [[Wikipedia:Starburst (confectionery)|Starburst]]. Little [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] on the side. Mmm-mmm-mmm!
 '''Chris:''' Yep. I tell ya, If I can't, uh, If I can't sell my PS Triple, I tell ya something else, I tell you, another thing I would definitely get rid of for Jackie, I'd get rid of a whole bunch of the, uh... [[Transformers]] I got.
 '''Lars:''' Why can't y'all get ridda that PS Triple though, dog? I- I ain't be feelin' it, I ain't be understandin' and shit. Y'all got my mind twisted and turned, with these phrases. I know y'all ain't mean it and shit, but I ain't be feelin' it. I need y'all help, dog. I be slow and shit, I ain't be figuring it out. Why ain't y'all give up that PS Triple and shit, dog? Worked hook, line and sinker with my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I downl- Listen, I downloaded over 4000 dollars worth of content and... at face value it's not gonna get me back 4000 dollars.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, dog! Ain't about the money and shit. Shit be about gettin' rid of addictions and shit. Y'know I how much I drop on boats and shit? Forty-five thousand dollars! I got like, six credit cards for that shit. Y'know how hard it is for a black man to get one credit card, I got six! Six, nigga. That's how dedicated I was to them fuckin' boats. That's how- them boats was my life, nigga. Them boats was my life! Sheeit. But I burned them boats, ain't get no money for that shit. That money be ''gone'', nigga. I got debts to pay off and shit. But I be an honest nigga now. I ain't lettin' no addiction control me. Why you ain't get rid a that PS Triple? I be feelin' Jackie, like, that's what she want.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Lemme just- Just let me talk, here.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all go ahead, dog. I'm listenin'.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Listen, I do not, I would not need to sell the console in order for me to not spend any more. I just- will just swear upon- Upon my [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grave. On that, and uh, my fam- On the life of myself and [[Barbara|my mom]] and [[Bob|my dad]]. Everybody in my family. And I will just not- I will not spend... Any- I will just not spend any more- ''[Audio gets fucked up here while Chris continues lying]'' -downloading for the P-
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, I hear ya.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Audio still messed up]''
 '''Lars:''' Ain't Jackie ask you to do that a while ago and shit? Ain't Jackie ask you to not spend on that a while ago, ain't that what she said? That what she be tellin' me. Ain't y'all still be spendin' and shit though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, as a nigga that seen the worst of addictions, I gotta level wit' you, bro. Just ain't work that way, dog. Sheeeeeeit. Y'all go ahead, dog, y'all go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I mean, it just- it just had to be, uh... one that I would have- I would have to able- I just would have to be able to show it to her in person, you know. I treat- I treat her right. I would treat her right in person, and I would not be th- My money would be going all to- All towards her, and... Not on anything new that goes on the, uh, PS Triple.
 '''Lars:''' So you ain't been buyin' games for, like... How long, [[Jackie]] ask you that shit like... Months ago, and shit, right? You ain't been buying no games for all that time?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' I ain't been- I ain't buying no game for about a month. Buying no new games.
 '''Lars:''' "About a month"?
 '''Chris:''' Ain't gonna... Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' This... This be any games and shit, this be just that... That, what the fuck, Jackie- ''(Yells at Jackie)'' Yo bitch, what you call that? That... "PSN" shit? Fuckin'... what that stand for, "PS Nigga" and shit? Sheeeit. Gonna be a lawsuit up there at Sony, with this bitch. Y'all be spendin' money just on that? You don't be buying games at the... [[Wikipedia:Costco|Costco]] and shit? Buyin' them hard copies? ''(Pause)'' Don't lie to me, dog, don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''' A bunch- a bunch-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, you be my nigga an' shit? You be my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You be my nigga an' shit, don't be lyin' to me. Bros before hos, dog. We be tight, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' You be feelin', I be touchin'.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I ain't lyin'- I ain't lyin' to you. It's essentially, you know, the stuff I download from the PSN, there's no... uh, it- And the "N", by the way, it stands for "Network", "PlayStation Network".
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' But anyway, it's stuff that mostly- Stuff, mostly stuff that you just cannot f- You just cannot get on hard copy. There's no hard copy for mosta the stuff they got on there.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all still be buyin' shit. Y'all still be buyin' games on PSN.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, y- Yeah, but, yeah it's like, uh- It's like, uh, world wide web, it's like, Internet thing, it's like... Alright. You- You know of [[IPods Down and Listen Up|iTunes]], right?
 '''Lars:''' "Internet"? Like the white folks' street corner and shit, yo dog I feel you. iTunes and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes, it-
 '''Lars:''' Be more like "WhiteTunes", with all that white color.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes or [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody]] or Napster. Well, point is, you know, it's... It's uh, you know-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be spendin' money and shit on this [[PSN]].
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' But ain't Jackie not want you to be doin' that shit though?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I will- And I promise her that I would not do that, and I have not been... doing that. ''(Pause)'' For about a month now.
 '''Lars:''' Bitch be tellin' me she up on that PS Nigga, she be lookin' at y'all... Y'all [[Facebook]] on that nigga. Shit, I ain't know. I ain't know this Internet shit. Internet be like space, ain't no nigga gonna up on that Internet neither. Fuckin' Man keepin' us down. Anyway... sheeit. Bitch be tellin' me she all up on that PS Nigga and she check your... Your trophies, and your accolades, and shit. Nigga be gettin' all new trophies for new games and shit, all through the month.
 '''Chris:''' Actually those were new trophies for games I had already- I already owned.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be... Y'all be havin' game you ain't played for months, but you still buyin' shit? I feel that, I feel that, I was like that with my boats and shit, I be buyin' boats... I ain't even take 'em in the tub for... six months and shit. Nigga like his bubble bath with boats, no? Some times I have my favorite boats, sometimes I have my less favorite boats, sometimes I have my not favorite boats at all, nigga. I ain't even like them boats. So you and me, we be in the same boat and shit, y'feel me? ''Sheeeeeeeeeeit.'' Dawg, we be tight and shit. Y'all be up in my grill and shit. Y'all be... up in my 'fetti. ''(Awkward Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, let me ax you then.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Lars:''' So Jackie, she be all bitchin' at you, she be all like, "Chris, I know you ain't be buyin' no boats, and... PSN nigga boats, and... PS Nigga games", and... she ain't want you buyin' none a that shit. A'ight? But then you go... you still gonna be playin' this shit. Yo bitch be all like, ain't want you, ain't want you playin' wit' yo boats and shit, yo PS boats. Shit be all addictive and shit, ya feel?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah... You have to forgive me for... things there, you kinda talk a little fast, and I'm just tryin' to- Just wanna make sure I'm able to understand you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight. You take your time and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, we cool.
 '''Lars:''' Brovaries before ovaries, and shit. We cool. You take your time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You take your sweet time. [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah bu-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all thinka that? You need a clarification, and shit? A bifurcation? Y'all got, y'all be feelin' me, y'all be feelin my question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all...
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not really sure what the question is, though.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I be, I'll be rephrasin' with the past parsable and shit. So my bitch Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I ain't want you plain' none a them games, now." You be gettin' games up on that PS Nigga. You be playin' them games all day and night. Sheeeeit, addiction be all "spiral of doom" and shit. Ain't about just the money. It's about the ''tiiiime'', nigga. 'Bout the ''effort'', nigga. All that time an effort, go in to the volunteerin' and shit. Work at the hospital. Be a fuckin' hospice nurse and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Oh-
 '''Lars:''' I did that shit for nine months. Fuckin' made me a new man and shit. Watch a buncha old white people die?Sheeeeit. Ain't nothing feel better than that. All them old slave-owners and [[Wikipedia:Sharecropper|sharecroppers]] be droppin' like flies, and here Lars be. Lars McNulty. Sheeeit. That shit feel good, nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, by the way-
 '''Lars:''' Watchin' white people die.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you're asking me, you're- you're asking me, uh, why I be spending all my extra time playing video games instead of like, you know, goin' out, uh... to volunteer work or some- shi- or stuff like that.
 '''Lars:''' True dat, dog, true dat. You be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feeling ya. Uh, but mostly, but mostly, uh, on the one point, it's like, I would not know where to look. And plus, you know, goin' out for a job, after all the, uh, after them trolls been weighing me down since November [[2007]], smearin' my name in the... [''Audio cuts out while Chris continues whining'']

===Fuck Tha Police (48:15 - 57:30)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeeit. A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. But, y'all know, dog, y'all know them background check and shit, just be for criminal shit. Now I know all about the criminality. I be a black man, I had a record since I was 8. Sheeit. Try'd to rob Starbucks with a [[Megatron pistol|fake gun]]. Nigga, y'all ever rob Starbucks, you best bring a real gun, nigga. Go whole hog on that shit. Ridin' that pagan justice into town and shit. Fuck. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreshadowing You spend any time in the joint, nigga?]
 '''Chris:''' I ain't spent no time in no joint, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be lucky and shit, dog. No, no, y'all ain't be lucky and shit, y'all be white. That's what that shit is. A black man be like... turn 18, he go do two and a half in fuckin' C Block and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' Taste a lotta maple syrup in that time. Anyway dog, I be- What I be sayin' to you and shit, that background check, they ain't gonna see no... No white niggas on the Internet makin' fun a your... Your [[Pokémon]] fanfiction and shit. Y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeahhh, it- I feel you but-
 '''Lars:''' They ain't be holdin' that against you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but they have a lot more than just the, making fun of the, uh... Pokémon fanfiction. They got a lot more than that, I mean they claim- I mean they claim me... They- They mis- The trolls, they be throwin' around those bad labels on me, like... a [[Pedofork|pedophile]].
 '''Lars:''' Nigga y'all be- Y'all be missin' my point though. Nigga, you ain't spend no time up in the joint. Your background check should be golden shit. Y'all ain't got no problems and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but th- Yeah. But also, th- I do have po- [[Chris and the law|I do have a police record on file, uh, for... Couple- For...]]
 '''Lars:''' Oh, word?
 '''Chris:''' Couple of offenses... Yeah, I had a couple of [[police]] records on file-
 '''Lars:''' You be fightin' The Man and shit? Sheeeeeit, tell me all about it, dog, what you be doin'?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Lars:''' You be takin' down po-po? Fuckin' 5-0 and shit? What you got? I'll swap stories with you, and shit. You go first, though.
 '''Chris:''' It be essentially, uh, just... Havin' a bad time and disagreements and what-not. With th- With this, uh- With [[Michael Snyder|this... dude]], down over at The GAMe- Over at [[The GAMe PLACe|The GAMe and HOBBY PLACe]]. He just be havin' his own gripe against me, and lookin' for a way- Lookin' for an excuse to ban me from his store, and then, and then... Then he did, so he banned me from the store, he... But he never wanted me to come back, and then I come back like about a year later askin' him- askin' if I can come back and he don't let me come back and... So I leave and then I come back next year and then, uh... Same thing again except worse, he act- he actually gives me- actually puts um... Officially on police record! Don't want- He don't want me... Trespassing on th- He don't want me, y'know, um, being anywhere near that place.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' He just- He just be all, afraid of me and shit like that. And plus also, I have like, uh, I've had like, uh, past- Past accusations of quote-unquote "soliciting", when I was out in my early days of my [[Sweetheart Search]] lookin' for- Lookin' for a woman of my own, be usin' a [[sign]], like you know, I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the [[Sex|booty call]]! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang! They just misinterp- They just misunderstand me, and they handcuff me and everythang, they came- They handcuff me a couple a times, they drag me around, and [[Get-Tar Region|they even dogpile on me one time]], rub my head on the carpet, I be bleedin' out- I been bleedin' out left side of my forehead that day! Put me in the dang- Put me in the dang cop car and I get offended by the ambulaaaance, where they see that blood stain... Blood-soaked stain! Heaaaad wouuund, from that carpet burn on the left side of my forehead there!
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, nigga, a'ight, nigga. You get down wit' y'all bad self. Sheeeeit. Badass, you be stickin' it to 5-0 and shit! Tresspassin' and shit. I see, I feel ya, I smell ya, dog. Y'all be tresspassin', be shootin' it off to them white niggas. Shiiit. So y'all be tresspassin' on this here nigga's property to be stickin' it to that man and shit. That be what I feelin'? That be what you doin', dig?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeeeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so you-
 '''Chris:''' You be feelin' me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' So you all go tresspassin' and shit, you know you ain't welcome and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, "Fuck dat shit, I own that store! I'm a go stick that place up and shit! I'm a fuckin' bust a cap in his ass!" Y'all be like, "I ain't gives no fuck about right and wrong and shit!" Nigga in the city, dog. Niggas wonder why.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be poppin- Yeah I be poppin' a- I'd be poppin' a cap in that- In that old- In that old [[Michael Snyder]] ass, I tell you what. It's like, if and I had me, if I had me a real life gun but I don't have a real life gun, though like you know, all I got is my, uh... All I got is my [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mind]] wit, and uh, not mu- Not much else going on there. So it's like I don't really have much of an offense, as much as a defense, dog. And I, but-
 '''Lars:''' Lemme ax you-
 '''Chris:''' The only option there is just to split.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog-
 '''Chris:''' 'Til another thing, until I can actually go on the offense.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog. So you gonna take some nigga, and you gonna say like, "Bitch, this nigga be goin' down and shit." And you pick this, you pick this nigga, this nigga at this... This game store and shit. Why you pick this nigga to pick a fight with and shit?
 '''Chris:''' He- He- He picked-
 '''Lars:''' What about this nigga?
 '''Chris:''' He picked a fight with me first, he just had his own griefs, he just had his own griefs, his own gripes and scares against me. He be thinkin' I be like... He be thinkin' like y'know, I know... He be havin' his own weird accusations against me, probably thinkin' that I w- He probably... Damn troll niggers who... Who damn throw the label of pedophile on me and damn ol' buncha shit offa him. He be throwin' all them labels on me and just lookin' for a damn excuse to kick me out of that store and ban me forever and the he- And then... And then he did find a damn excuse and it damn happened and they called tresspassin' and everthiiing.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all, y'all be goin' on property when you know you ain't- It be someone elses property and shit, and you be like, "Fuck that, I ain't give a shit about right and wrong! I ain't give a shit about what someone else wants! I ain't give a shit about no other nigga's property, and personal reliability, and safe-ety.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which-
 '''Lars:''' And personal responsibility.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which that- That ain't really his store, he's just rentin' on- He's just rentin' on that location! They just been rentin' there for a long time! It ain't really his-
 '''Lars:''' So he be payin' his rent and shit. So it be his store and shit, then. You be all like, "Fuck dat shit, I ain't give a shit 'bout no other nigga's property. I'm a take what I want and fuck all y'all niggas." Shit, dog, I be feelin' that. That be my gangsta life, in my teenage years, back when I be eight and shit. I be all like goin' up in the stores, and be like "What, nigga? What, you gonna kick me out cuz I stealin' shit? Cuz I be yellin' at people? Cuz I be screamin' my head off? Sheeeit. Fuck that shit, nigga! I do what I want!" Be some [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] up in here and shit. I feel ya, dog. You ain't gives no fucks.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Fuck that shit! Ain't give no shit if that be his store and what-not.
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, so you say you have a weakness with the offense, but you be good with the defense and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So let me ax you, some nigga come up in yo house and shit, and be all like, "Dude I wanna come up in here and shit." And y'all be like, "Shit, nigga. This be my house and shit, y'all ain't comin' up in here without no invitation and shit." And he be like, "''Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit'', nigga! I do what I want, I'm a call up on y'all house!" What ya'll gonna do? Some nigga come up in yo business.
 '''Chris:''' I ain't got no gun, I'll beat his ass, I'm pretty str- I'm very strong. I'd give him an ol' ''CLOP! CLOP! HIYA!''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' If that be the case... But I'd make sure that I be cool, dog, y'know, I'd make sure I started that, like y'know, he'd throw the first punch, and if he throw the first punch and I- Then I de-fennnnd, and I throw- And then I throw- Then I would punch back in defense!
 '''Lars:''' Then y'all be throwin' a trespassin' notice and shit on him. Ain't that the truth, nigga. Ain't y'all be, y'all be saltin' the wounds and shit. Puttin' a criminality record upon this nigga. Ain't that what y'all gon' do, dog. Sheeeit. Now I ain't never filed no trespassin' notice on any nigga what started shit with me. See I be a black man and shit, so the police, if you ever call the police when you a black man? They come and shoot your ass. They ain't givin' no fucks. You be white and shit. You can use the system against the system and shit. Y'all see what I mean and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah. I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Say yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Whole buncha damn- Whole buncha the damn racism that they been got goin' on, but I ain't like that. I be respec- I have respect for my black man. And I have respect for you, man, 'cause we cool.

===One Big Gray Nigga (57:30 - 1:04:30) ===
'''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me, y'all my nigga and shit, dog. Sheeeeit. Nigga be Prime Time up in here, dog. Shit. Fuck. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and in fact I enjoy- I the, uh, comedies- I enjoy the TV shows I get from the... From the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and... [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and... [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them. All them-
 '''Lars:''' ''Sanford and Son''???! Bitch, I know you ain't bring up ''Sanford and Son'', fuckin' sharecropper shit. Goddamn [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sheeeit. Traitor to his race and shit, dog. All that spoon jockey [''?''] shit, [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]]... [[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|''Bamboozled'']] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' I-
 '''Lars:''' All I see is sleepin' (?), that's what all that shit be. Fuck that shit, stereotypin' a nigga in a bad light and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, man I-
 '''Lars:''' Us niggas, we already got our trouble with the bad light and shit, 'cause we be all dark and shit. Ain't no light what can shine a good light on our dark skin and shit. Then you got the TV shows. Then you got the [[Wikipedia:HBO|H-B-O]] and shit. Fuckin' shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well man, I don't mean, I- Yeah I don't mean to jump no jive, man, I just be givin' a few examples of some of the shows I see. But I watch- I watch other shows too, where they- where they make GOOD examples of the- Of the black man and the black woman.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years of opression.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, know what I'm doin'? I'm holdin' up my fist in solidarity. Yo, nigga, hold up you fist for me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You holdin' up yo fist, dog? Hope y'all ain't smilin' and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm holdin' up my fist, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be smilin' and shit, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Niggas, we can't be smilin'. That takes away... the gravitas of what we can do. See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be holdin'- I be holdin' up my f- I be holdin' up my fist in respect, dog. I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog. Yo, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hold it in respect.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' We cool.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, where all this shit come from? We be bulin' our- our ''velocity'' toward ''ferocity'' and toward ''audacity'' of hope and change and chope and shit. Fuckin' Big Bama's House up in here. A black nigga and a white nigga be mixin' and matchin', make ourselves one big gray nigga and shit. See what I doin', dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Fuckin' bridgin' the gaps of... Of ''inequality'', and ine- ''inequity'', and... ''ine-quali-equity'', and shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, this shit be all about Jackie and shit, though, dog. Jackie be all like, glarin' daggers at me and shit. I be like, "Bitch, only daggers I wanna see from you are those two daggers on yo' chest and shit, now take off your top while you be makin' me my steak dinner!" Bitch be all like, "Sheeeit, I burned myself last time I do that, nigga. Y'all want burn scars on this body?" I be like "Hell no, dog, you already got that [[Wikipedia:Caesarean section|C-section]] scar from where I aborted that baby!" Sheeeit, bitch all scarred up and used up already. So let's get back to Jackie and shit. Now, Jackie ain't be happy wit' y'all and shit. And Jackie ain't sure if she be happy wit' me and shit. So we gots to figure out, and numerate, and enunciate exactly why the ''posivericating'' is happenin' with this shit. Why the bitch be mad at you, and why the bitch be mad at me? We figure this out, dog, we figure this out, nigga. Brovaries before ovaries, dawg, you feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be all, like, you be lyin' to her and shit. And I feel that. I feel why she pissed about that shit. And as a advice, and... cautionary to you: Y'all ain't be lyin' to no bitch. Y'all can smack a bitch, y'all can punt a bitch, y'all be like "Bitch, I ain't doin' that shit" all up in her face and shit, but y'all ain't be lyin' to a bitch. 'Cause then the shit roll downhill. Shit be like a Hydra and shit, you cut one head off that bitch, two head grow back, you be lyin' to her. They catch you on that shit, they always do, nigga. Indeed! Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be mad cuz you be lyin' to her. And bitch be mad cuz you ain't gettin' rid a that addiction and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel ya, I tell you what, I- I'll make it right, I will make this right with Jackie, I tell you what, you tell her this from me too and I- and I'll promise it to you too, man, cuz we cool. I'll draw a parade for [[Alec]], and I'll make it like, you know, he was found innocent, like she wanted. I'll fix the pages and do it right for her.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that like, you know, within- within the next few days, and vid- and it'll be up, all colored and everything, be uploaded.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that for her.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog, shit, see now in the interest of camaraderie, and... niggaraderie, and all that shit. In the interest of all that shit, this gray nigga we be buildin', I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Also, in the interest of not bein' hypocrital, and hippocratical, I ain't takin' no [[Wikipedia:Hippocratic Oath|Hippiocratical Oath]] and shit. Because I be tellin' you not to be lyin' to no bitches, so I ain't can't be lyin' to you and shit. Y'all fell me, dog? I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel you. Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so, in the interest of honesty and total veracity, I must tell you that I am not a neutral party and shit. See, I burned my boats and shit 'cause I want Jackie back, dog. See? Bitch be all like, all up slobberin' on my dick and balls now, shit. Damn! See, I ain't be finna' gettin' ridda' my bitch, and shit. She be all like, ridin' my dick. She be all like, givin' me the oral play and shit. Fuckin' tongue action, finger play, y'all know that shit, sheeeeit. And the bitch be makin' me my steak dinner, 'cause I burned them boats. So, I ain't finna' be gettin' ridda' this bitch. I got a good bitch goin' here, y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all might wanna try winnin' Jackie back. I wish y'all best luck in the world. Cuz see, a'ight, honestly, veracitously, I gots to admit to you, I do think, yo, we are bros, but we still be competin', you dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' And I do feel like I have the advantage on you. Cuz my dick be all ''four inches'' a straight goodness and shit. Fuckin' straight as a ramrod and shit! That's what call me in high school when I be ramroddin' bitches, they call me "Ramrod". Better than "nigger". Better than "[[Wikipedia:Jim (Huckleberry Finn)|Nigger Jim]]," that's what that shit they be callin' me, I be like "My name ain't Jim! Call me "Nigga Lars" and shit!" "Nigga Lars"? That shit fine. "Nigga McNulty"? That shit be fine too, but they call me "Nigger Jim"! Who da fuck this "Nigga Jim" be? I ain't know... sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' That's- I tell ya, that's cool man, I praise you for being able to bang all them hos back in the high school days, I tell you what, I was [[naïve]] on the [[dating]] subject back in high school, I didn't even think about it, I mean I shoulda ask w- I shoulda asked a woman, I shoulda banged my own share of hos back in the day, but I didn't dawwwg, I just did not think of it! I was really slow, and I ev- and I even had a girl- I even had a girl crush back then. But then she done left me, she was out da- she was out dating with somebody else behind my back, I didn't even know about it. But she and I, we were tight!

===The Trail of Tears (1:04:30 - 107:50) ===
'''Lars:''' Shee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiit, dog! So what y'all gonna do to win Jackie heart back and shit? Y'all gonna burn that PS Triple and shit. See, see I'ma feelin' that, because that seem like, like the equalizer, and the numerizer and shit, that you all be pullin' to one-up my burnin' my boats and shit. See I be burnin' my addiction, y'all gots to burn your addiction too. Y'all ain't gots to do it literally. I know white people be afraid of fire and shit, I know white people fear fire. See us black folk, we like fire, 'cause we all be like livin' tribal in the Unga Bungas, in Africa and shit. We be usin' fire to keep tigers away and shit! Tigers, man, damn. Tigers be racists and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well I feel you, man. I'm part [[Cherokee]].
 '''Lars:''' So, y'all got- Oh, dog, y'all part Cherokee? Y'all be part a them-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Them red niggas and shit? Sheeeit, I feel that, dog, I ain't know that about you. Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Wikipedia:Trail of Tears|Trail of Tears]] is in my history.
 '''Lars:''' [''talking over Chris''] What [[Wikipedia:Native American gaming|casino]] you from?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, all them Red Niggas, they be up in them casinos and shit. Ain't that right, dog? What casino you from? From that casino tribe-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah sound like a-
 '''Lars:''' From the Blackjack tribe? Whitejack tribe? The... Poker tribe? The Hold 'Em tribe? You from them-
 '''Chris:''' That just-
 '''Lars:''' Ain't got no tribes, y'all feelin' what I'm gettin' at.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I fe- Yeah I feel you, man, that's a- That's just a dang old stereotype, I'm not like one- I am not a Casino Ownah. I ain't no rich man. I mean, I di- I mean-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be unemployed and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be no Casino Nigga and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I ain't no Casi- I- I ain't no Casino Nigga. I mean, we be-
 '''Lars:''' See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my background, we be of the real- We be of the real Cherokee. From the Trail of Tears and all that. That's from my history.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, this be a perfect example of the injustice and inservitude and ingratuity of American history and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Lars:''' See, the red niggas, they be all like, the casino niggas and shit. And then, you come along, and you ain't be... You ain't be havin' no job in no casino, you ain't be havin' no job and shit. You all just be, sittin' on your couch and shit, jobless. And that totally defies the stereotype of the common red nigga, see? So them sterotypes, they be bullshit, 'cause everyone knows your red niggas, they all be hard-workin' and [[Alcohol|sober]] and shit. Ain't no stereotypes say otherwise. I hear there is, I'll eat my hat I tell you what. Sheeeeit. Fuck. Anyway, dog, where we at- I be waxin philosophimorical again. Sheeit. We be talkin 'bout- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, dog, it comin' back to me. What y'all gonna be doin' to win Jackie, y'all gonna be ''metaphorically'' burnin' your PS Triple and shit. That be right, dog? Is that what y'all gonna do? I be wishin you luck, dog, I be wishin' you luck. I be wishin' you luck and shit, man. Y'know, I'll be ramroddin' Jackie every night and every day, but I respect you, like my nigga. You're my bro and shit. And I want you to get what you deserve and shit. You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all gonna be gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. [''long pause'']

===A Tale of Two PS Triples (1:07:50 - 1:17:45)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind be slow]] and I be uncertain of... everything here. And I definitely... I definitely feel ya and I'm not gonna say that I'm better than you, I'm not gonna say no- I'm not gonna say that. I mean you be- I mean you are- You be a big man, you burned all your boats, dog. I tell you what. But I mean- I spend my mo- I spend my money, I ain't gonna get that much back. I ain't gonna- I ain't gonna just kill it all by burning the dang PS3 because I already di- I pretty much essentially did that. By, uh... Like, [[The MovingFoward videos|pretty much dismantling the previous one I had]], [[ItIsFinished.MOV|and then just running it over]] with [[Son-Chu|my car]], there be videos on the [[YouTube]] about that.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, I saw that shit, you just- You destructicated your PS Triple, and then you get a new one back like a day later and shit. Why y'all go get a new PS Triple and shit, dog? Why destroy it in the first place?
 '''Chris:''' I tried to destroy it, dog, because... Them tr- Because, them trolls, and Jackie knew about it as well, they be offering NINE THOUSAND dollars for footage of the destruction of that PS Triple. And my- And Jackie thought like, you know, I give them th- I give them the footage and the real deal- I give them the real deal footage and what-not, they give- They, the trolls, they- THE troll, he be givin' me back the- He be givin' me that money, I be buyin' me a new PS Triple, she be cool with that, but then it don't happen, he- He fall back on his word, he don't do it, even though there were plans of meetings and what-not, it didn't happen, there was no money! I was-
 '''Lars:''' Where y'all get that money then? If there be no money, where y'all get that new PS Triple and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that be from my-
 '''Lars:''' I know all white folks be rich and shit, like at least moderately so and shit, but shiiit, you got that kinda cash around, you got that 'fetti? Where you get the money to buy that second PS Triple? That be like yo' Double PS Triple. Or yo' PS Double-Triple, if you will. Sheeeit. PS Triple-Double and shit. Where y'all get the money for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that be where I sold the, uh, past- The older game consoles that I've hoarded over the years.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all go and destroy yo' PS Triple... Then like a day later y'all go and sell like every other game you got... So you can buy back... A PS Triple? [''pause''] Shit ain't gangsta, dog, why you be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' It does a lot more than games, dog! Does movies, does music, does pictures! Does the Internet! I mean pretty much at this time, the only way that I'd be able to access my e-mail, and send and receive, from Jackie and everybody el- From everybody.
 '''Lars:''' Why ain't y'all buy a new computer?
 '''Chris:''' Because damn computer expensive. I mean if I had known that was gonna happen I-
 '''Lars:''' PS Triple be expensive, dog!
 '''Chris:''' If I had known that was gonna have happened... I mean it happened at months- It happened- Just happened a month before- A whole month before my computer decided to go and do what it did to me, and become practically unusable and considerably deaaaaad.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, ain't y'all computer be all broken and shit for a long time, though? Ain't you know you need a replacement and shit?
 '''Chris:''' No, because-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be tellin' me that she heard some... Some call where you talked to that Alec Benson Nigga guy. I don't know this guy. You talked to him, and he be askin' you why you ain't do somethin' with your computer. I ain't know what. Why you ain't interneting or somethin'. Us black folk, we ain't know this Internet. He ask you that, why you ain't doin' this, and you said your computer be busted and shit. You tell him the same thing you tell Jackie like a year later. Why you ain't replace the computer in all that time, though? Y'all know the computer be busted, but y'all go and buy a PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' Because the computer was working for me. It wasn't as busted as it was- As it had become a month later.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all didn't think ahead and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all knew the computer was on its last legs and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my- Yeah, my bad, I did not think ahead. I thought things'd be cool, but then it turned out they weren't. It... Damn whole buncha twist of fate and everything. Be all up my ass.
 '''Lars:''' Nigga, nigga, nigga, let me give you a metaphorical illusion, if I will, if I may, if you will.
 '''Chris:''' It's cool.
 '''Lars:''' Now, picture your computer like... Like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga and shit. A'ight, now your computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. You know what kinda life expectancy a twenty-nine-year-old have on the streets? Zero point zero-zero-zero-four percent, to the power of twelve, to the oneth power. That shit be low and shit. So your computer, in a metaphorical sense, be like a nigga who be facin' his be three-oh and shit. And that nigga gonna get capped and shit, dog! Sheeeeeit. Ain't gonna be no fake gun bringin' up in the Starbucks next time. Nigga gonna get capped. Streets be a lottery and shit, dog. So that computer, y'all know that computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. See, that computer be functionating and pre-vericating and shit. Just like that twenty-nine-year-old nigga be, in the prime of his life with them ripplin' muscles and shit. But a cap gonna come outta mid air, and shot yo' fuckin' computer in the back of the head when he in line at the [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeye's Chicken]]. And that be all she wrote, nigga. That be all she wrote. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman|Dr. Quinn]] gonna save this nigga up in here, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeit. So that computer be on its last life, and y'all, y'all know that even though it fuctionin' fine today, that computer get a cap in its ass tomorrow. God gonna fire a cap in that computer's ass. And y'all be knowin' that, but y'all ain't replacin' that, but then y'all PS Triple die, because you killed it. You be murderin' that PS Triple, you be murderin' it in cold blood, like, like it be a nigga what wronged you, what didn't pay you your drug money and shit. So you kill that PS Triple, and then you all go and buy a new PS Triple the next day. But you got your computer here, which need to be replaced, your computer which you use to talk to Jackie. But you can't talk to Jackie no more. You just play your games. Y'all be feelin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' So you see, dog, see Jackie be mad because y'all- Y'all be takin' playin' vidya games over talkin' to a real life woman. Sheeeit. I feel her pain and shit. I feel her commissary and commissaratin' and shit. Ain't no PS Triple what got no poontang, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeeeit. Damn! So why y'all... Why y'all pick a PS Triple, over my Jackie Triple? Why y'all be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well... ''(Pause for stress)'' Now look, okay dog, I can- Uh... I will still be able to talk to Jacke through the email with the PS Triple, anyway... With the- AIM, uh... Anyway, I- Anyway, I be gettin' a new computer soon enough, and I be back to- I'll be able to talk to Jackie through AIM if, y'know, she'd be willing to.
 '''Lars:''' But lemme ax you, dog. Now, your PS Triple be gone, and "soon enough" means, like, a day. But, your computer, you means of communication with Jackie and shit, that be gone, but "soon enough", that amount to like months and shit. That be like the whole trimester of a pregnancy what pass by and shit. Shit, I ain't even let this much time pass by before I evacuated that fetus in her belly. Sheeeeeeeit. That be a bigger decision than any PS Triple, I tell you what.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' Why y'all go and replace the PS Triple, even though Jackie don't want you to have that addiction?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' It's an addiction that I will be able to... get over easily enough... when I actually have the woman nearby me. Why-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be-
 '''Chris:''' If I- Yeah, you know, I be havin' me- I'll be havin' the woman next to me, and I'd be treatin' her right, I'd be investing more time into her... Right next to me, instead of bein' over the Internet, because I ain't got no power over the Internet, really, Internet just don't work, I- I'm scared to go on the Internet, really, because of the damn trolls, it's real life and- It's real life or bust for me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' But... But dog, okay, dog, I be feelin' that. Them Internets, they be a scary place and shit, especially for a nigga. Sheeeeit. Ain't no fourth dimension and shit up on that Internet what no nigga like myself gonna walk up into, you feelin' me? Sheeit. Shit like a minefield and shit. Damn, dog. But Jackie, see, Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I know you know I want you gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. Shit be like a black hole of addiction and shit, suckin' up your life." And see, what I don't get is why y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple, because that shit is no good for you. And you gettin' rid a that shit, even if Jackie ain't exist and shit, even if Jackie ain't up on my dick and shit, then you get rid of that PS Triple... You a born-again man. You a new man for gettin' rid a that shit. See, I burned my boats and shit before I even called Jackie, because I knew even if Jackie be all rejectin' me and shit, I'd be a new man for gettin' ridda my addiction. I be a strong man and shit. Show me your strength, nigga. Y'all be feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' Word, dawg. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

===Downtism (1:17:45 - 1:23:05)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Uhh, alright listen, we be havin' a cool conversation, it's been good, um... Let me, uh, talk- Let me talk to Jackie for a little while.
 '''Lars:''' Let's see if that bitch be around. ''(Pretends to walk around)'' Yo bitch! Bitch, where you be at?! Now hold on, dog. Sheeeeit, where that bitch at? Hold on... Checkin' the kitchen and shit. Fuck, meatloaf only half-done and shit. Bitch can't even make a meatloaf and shit and steak and shit at the same time? Damn. Used up bitch, poontang and shit. What the- oh, the fuck that smell be? Aw, fuck- Bitch, I told you not to go to that [[Taco Bell]] and shit no more! Shit ain't gangsta! Sheeeit. ''(Back to Chris)'' Bitch be all like, makin' number two and shit right now, she ain't comin' out for a whiiile, let me tell ya that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-ohhhh.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' That be- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' See now dog, y'all got to feel my pain and shit. See y'all just be hearin' about it, I gots to smell it and shit. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya- I get it, I- I can- I hear you, be all-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all know how strong the sense of smell on a nigga is? Y'all be a white nigga and shit, I be a black nigga. See us wide nostrils, we smell like three times what you smell and shit. See, my nostrils, that be like my PS Triple because it's triple the smell power of your... Your thin, white nostrils. Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I hear you, dog, I know what- I know what crap smells like and how it comes out. ''(Clears throat)'' Excuse me.
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't gonna get rid a that PS Triple for Jackie and shit? That be, that be my... confuzzlation and shit. ''(Pause)'' See, dog, y'all be like... Lemme put it how I see it, and then I'll wait for yo' responsification. See, all I see, is y'all be saying that y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple 'til Jackie be by your side and shit. See y'all be wantin' Jackie to be like, watchin' you, and to be like, houndin' you, and to ''substitutionalize'' for that PS Triple and shit. But y'all ain't wanna be gettin' rid a that shit just for yo' own damn self. ''(Pause)'' You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog. Righteous. Righteous and shit. See Jackie, Jackie be feelin' all hurt and shit 'cause y'all ain't wanna improve yourself. Y'all know how fleetin' life is and shit, nigga? Life be fleetin' and shit, even for a white nigga. White nigga can expect to live past 30. Black man can't, but a white man can.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah. ''(Pause)''
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't improvin' yourself, dog? ''(Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' To be honest, I- I really- To be honest... I just don't know. ''(Pause)'' It's pretty much, you know, I had my- My mind is so slow, and... It be- I just be fear of change, and... It just hard- It's just hard for- It's just really hard for me and my... Mental- And my mental capacity to... To go through a whole bunch of change so quickly.
 '''Lars:''' Ah, I see, cuz a that [[Autism|Downtism]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' No it-
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' The- It- Not Down syndrome, ''autism''.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, the Downtism. That be what I- Yeah. Shit. Anyway, dog, so what y'all sayin' is, ya got ya vidya games, and Jackie, she be like a woman, with the poontang and shit, and a meatloaf and steak dinner, and y'all be afraid of that. Y'all stick wit' your video games, cuz that all ain't makes you afraid like a woman do.
 '''Chris:''' What- NO. I'm not- I am not afraid of a- I am not afraid of a woman.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, y'all ain't wanna give up PS Triple for a woman though. ''(Awkward pause)''
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris grunts. It's safe to speculate that he has shit himself by this point.)''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)'', lemme think. ''(Chris thinks for like 30 seconds)''
 '''Lars:''' Nigga you gruntin' or some shit. Shit, dog, y'all be at Taco Bell and shit too, like my Jackie?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Umm... No, I- I did not go to Taco Bell today.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, what you eat, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I had- I had me a- I had me a [[McDonald's|fish fillet]] tonight.
 '''Lars:''' Shit... ain't no nigga be eatin' no fish. Y'all know us niggas be afraid of water and shit. Why y'all be gruntin', dog? Shit not be settlin' in your stomach and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. ''(Long pause)'' I'unno.

===Remember Kenan & Kel? That was a fun show. (1:23:05 - 1:28:08)===
'''Lars:''' So dog, a'ight, a'ight, let's get back, let's get back. Why y'all... Y'all say you ain't afraid of no woman, and y'all want a woman, but... But yo' actions, and even what you just say to me now, show that you want a vidya game more than a woman. I GUESS I feel that shit, y'know what- I lost my virginity at the age of ten and a half. And ever since then I be all up in the poon tang. I be like a poon hound and shit. See I ain't play no vidya games since like, Atari, and shit. Shit be old school.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Back then everything black and white, not just race politics, see? Y'feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So you know, dog, my first time be scary and shit, I only make that bitch cum like two and a half times. See I be all performance anxiety and shit, but I got through it. Y'all gots to be a MAN and shit. Man up. Y'all gots- Y'all be a man? Or y'all be a boy. What y'all be? ''(Pause while Chris decides)''
 '''Chris:''' I be a man.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, see what I'm feelin', and rightfully, righteously, ''rightatiously'' I should not be tellin' you this, because this hurts my chances and shit. But I will tell you in the interest of bros before hos, that if you got rid of that PS Triple, you got rid of it and you never buy another one, Jackie'd probably kick my black ass out the door and shit. You get rid a that PS Triple, I be out on the street, and Jackie be on your doorstep first thing tomorrow morning and shit. That's all the bitch talk about when she talk about you, is the PS Triple. "PS Triple this, PS Triple that." Well sometimes she talked about the lies and shit too, but mostly the PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah... I hear ya, it's- It's a lot. Alright, well- Listen, it's a bit late, and uh... I wanna be gettin' me a good night's- I wanna be gettin' me a good night's sleep. Cuz, you know, gonna be another day tomorrow.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight, I feel you. Yo, yo, dog, yo dog. You know what I'm doin' right now? Now what I'm doin'?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Lars:''' Holdin' up my fist, dog. Solidarity! Peace, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit. So y'all got your vidya games, Jackie- She be all up in that toilet, like another hour or two, shit... I'll tell her to wipe her ass and them come jump on my dick and shit. I'll be like all up in that poontang. Yo, I'll write you an email and shit, tell you all about that poon tang. And you write me an email tellin' me about y'all video games, that way we can exchange and learn from each other's culture, see 'cause I- I be like with a woman and shit, and I can tell you what that be like. And you be playin' vidya games, which I ain't familiar with, and then tell me what it be like to just be playin' video games in your room all day.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause, not getting it)'' Hm.
 '''Lars:''' See, we each have our different priorities. See, you want your video games and I want Jackie. I wanna be with Jackie. See dog- Dawg, dawg, dawg, now... I'll let you go soon, I'll let you go soon, cuz I know you tired and shit. I know white people like to go to bed before midnight. But let me ax you something, one more question real quick. I be your nigga and shit, you be my nigga. Y'all be honest and straightforward with me. Now-
 '''Chris:''' I be honest and straightforward.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, now y'all be sayin' to Jackie that you want Jackie and shit. Y'all be sayin' to everyone out there that you want Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' More than anything. But the situation-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want Jackie more than anything.
 '''Lars:''' The situation be like, you ain't givin' up no vidya games for her. Y'all just want your vidya game. So you can tell me, bro. Tell me, my nigga... Y'all really want Jackie or not? Or do y'all want your vidya games more than you actually want Jackie, if you want Jackie? You can be honest with me now-
 '''Chris:''' I want Jackie- I want Jackie and I want to be able to keep my video games.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeit, dog, that ain't always an option. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Or as we say in nigga culture, "Can't have your [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] and drink it too." Cuz see, black people don't eat cake. It's that devil food, it-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I like- I like [[Wikipedia:Orange soft drink|orange soda]].
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, orange soda. That be what white people drink.
 '''Chris:''' You remember [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']]? That was a funny sh- That was a fun show.
 '''Lars:''' Who the fuck Kenan & Kel? That the nigga that owe me money? You tell that fuckin' nigga to give me my fifteen dolla'! You see that nigga? Sheeeit, fake nigga if ever there was one. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' No, I- I'm talking about the show that was on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]].
 '''Lars:''' Nickel-lo... What the fuck do that be? That be one of them [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (movie theater)|nickel and dime theaters]] from the [[1920s]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Flapper|flappers]] and shit, [[Homos|women with short hair]]? Sheeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yea- Alright, well I'll let you- Alright, well I'll let you go, it's been- It's been cool hangin' with ya. You my nigga- ''(Lars talks over Chris)''
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I'll talk to you soon. I'll talk to you soon, I'ma go fuck Jackie now. I'll talk to you soon, dog, we'll be in touch and shit. Nice meetin' you and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah, alright.
 '''Lars:''' Goodnight, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFNyMfrTc_M&feature=related Listen On Youtube]
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBYi1CQTNfY210U1k Google Drive mirror]
* [http://goo.gl/DbVDg Non-mediafire mirror]
* [http://db.tt/55pQvBce Dropbox mirror]

{{references}}

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie Chats]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 9]]
|nextlink = Final
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{FanChats}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

Breast Cancer Awareness

2026-09-17T05:41:27Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Breast Cancer Awareness''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. Chris has stuffed his [[muscle bra]], likely with the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]] as seen in his [[Pregnant Act|previous video]], and speaks for a few moments about the dangers of breast cancer.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Breast Cancer Awareness
| ytid = KgL4AlPkDx4
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Breast cancer}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{K-SwissShirt|text}}
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[Pregnant Act]]
| next = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
}}

{{quote|Seriously, though, folks.|Chris, while wearing fake breasts, immediately before making three inappropriate jokes about breast cancer.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:CWC tits.jpg|thumb|Hey. Hey hey. Hey! Eyes up here, budde-]]

[''Chris is sitting in his kitchen with his shirt obviously padded to make it appear like he has very large breasts. The radio or television is playing loudly in the background.'']

Seriously, though, folks, there is something else that you should be aware of [''He scratches his nose and glances off-screen.''] you know, breast cancer. You know what that's both us both males and females, regardless of size. [''He adjusts his fake breasts, pauses, then chuckles briefly.'']

Anyway, make yourselves aware of this. You should feel your tatas. [''Cups his own fake breasts, then delivers a [[creepy stare]] at the camera.''] Feel your breasts. Check to see if you have any lumps, they could be breast cancer. You never know. If you suspect breast cancer, go get yourself checked out with a doctor. Breast cancer awareness. [''Draws a ribbon in the air with his fingertip.''] Pink ribbon.

[''Cuts to a closeup on his chest, fake breasts still intact. Radio/TV is no longer in the background.'']

Hey. Hey hey. Hey! [''He grabs the camera, pointing it towards his face.''] [[Random access humor|Eyes up here, buddy]]-[''Feed cuts before he finishes speaking.'']

=== Items in Chris's kitchen ===

The following items are present in this video:

* [[Chris]].
* Various pots and pans.
* Disposable fast food drink containers piled up on top of plates.
* A mountain of presumably unwashed dishes and cookware covering almost half the window. The giant mound spills out past the window and well around the corner of the bench. No cutting space or space to prepare food is visible.
* One perfectly cylindrical object emblazoned with a Mountain Dew label.
* Plastic bags, some apparently still containing matter.
* Two chairs or movable set of draws, both covered in junk.
* A potted plant sits atop the cupboard. Due to its healthy, uniform bright green color despite living in a trash heap on a high shelf with no access to sunlight or water, [[trolls|top men]] are certain it is fake.
* Paper plates still smeared with some kind of off-yellow food are clearly visible sitting near the two fast-food drink containers atop a mountain of rubbish. Could be an overflowing bin.
* A purple box of tissues right beside/behind the microwave in the far left corner.
* Various knick-knacks on a small shelf obscure another part of the window; coupled with Mount Trashheap, this almost completely obscures the window.
* ...

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Kitchen videos| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]
[[Category:My Personal Videos (that can stay online)]]

CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero

2026-09-16T21:01:29Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Synopsis */

{{quote|Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.|[[Ivy]]<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The hero that Ivy is (ostensibly) holding out for.]]

'''CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero''' is an elaborate (by Chris's standards) [[Chris and music|music]] [[video]] created for his then-[[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]]. It was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 26 [[March 2009]], and later reuploaded to Chris's [[IBAChandler]] account on 29 [[July 2009]], despite his relationship with Ivy ending months earlier. The music video pairs a cover (wailed over a music track) of Bonnie Tyler's "[[wikipedia:Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]" with footage of Chris and the Sonichu comic. It is quite possibly one of Chris's most well-known videos.

The song showcases his many failings in music, such as his lack of preparation and poor timing. He once again uses his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller to try and prove that he has musical ability, and mimes intense solos (whammy bar included) to a song with very minimal guitar work. To his credit, this video shows that Chris has some editing ability - even if the entire video is presented in a grainy, ghastly, yellowed fashion due to [[PSEye|poor treatment of his camera]] and the subpar lighting in his bedroom.

==Description==
{{quotebox|I dedicate this Music Video to Ivy. :)
[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Also, in addition to if anyone messes up this relationship, if anyone messes with Ivy, Period]], I Swear to [[God and Jesus]] that I will cease drawing my comics and efforts to recovering the Sonichu Site. As long as y'all just Back Off, everyone's cool. 
Have a good day. 
Christian Weston Chandler.

Song Credits: 
"Holding Out For a Hero" 
Song originally sang by Bonnie Tyler 
Resung and Music Video Directed and Created by Christian Weston Chandler 
with the use of Playstation 3's Playstation Eye and EyeCreate Program (available for FREE from the Playstation Store on the Playstation Network.

Playstation 3, Playstation Eye and EyeCreate are property of SCEA, 2009 
Eye of Judgment copyrighted SCEA, 2009 
Guitar Hero trademarked by Activision, Red Octane and Harmonix 
Sonichu and Rosechu are copyrighted March 2000-2009 by Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero
| ytid = D7XrVgM5E6Y
| stardate = 26 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{JerkopShirt|text}} {{PokeShirt|text}}, alongside others.
| previous = [[CWC%27s_Message_for_Ivy#Video|CWC's Message for Ivy]]
| next = [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009#Video|CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]
}}

==Synopsis==
[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|right|"Add 8 to his attack if his target is MALE"]]

In chronological order:

*'''0:01-0:07''' - Chris doodles on some paper, then swiftly removes his [[Respectable Frames|glasses]]. Make note of how he [[Chris and art|holds the pen]].
*'''0:08-0:22''' - Chris does a solo on his [[Gitar of Fail]] with a look of dejection.
*'''0:22-0:35''' - The camera zooms up to his fingers.
*'''0:35-0:57''' - Some blurry shots of Chris's [[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgement]] cards are shown.
*'''0:57-0:59''' - A drawing of Chris with his back turned "morphs" into the real-life Chris; the camera cuts to his smug grin, then him raising his fist while yelling "UMPH!"
*'''1:00-1:38''' - More blurry comics.
*'''1:39-1:47''' - Chris says "Sonichu, cut the powers and release the prisoners!", over the song he's singing. He then yells "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Shin-ye-ha-me-HA]]!"
*'''1:47-1:50''' - More blurry comics.
*'''1:51-1:57''' - Chris cups his fists and exclaims, "ELECTRIC-HEDGEHOG POWER!" Cue shots of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] transformation on paper.
*'''1:57-2:30''' - More comics.
*'''2:31-2:32''' - A very accurate depiction of a jet-pack.
*'''2:33-2:39''' - More comics.
*'''2:40-3:05''' - Chris plays a "solo" on his gitar, despite the fact that this song has a piano/horn solo, not a guitar solo. He then proceeds to whack the whammy bar several times before clutching to the ground. Often considered the highlight of the video. Note how the guitar strap is put on.
*'''3:06-3:28''' - More shots of his comics.
*'''3:29-3:32''' - "FIRE IN MY BLOOD"
*'''3:33-3:56''' - You know the drill.
*'''3:57-4:03''' - A weird [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|noise]] is heard from Chris, likely a screeching sound effect based on the comic page.
*'''4:04-4:08''' - Chris invents a new sex move.
*'''4:40-5:10''' - Chris improvises new lyrics to finish the song: "She's gotta be strong, she's gotta be pure and she's got to be [[Women's rights|fresh from the shop]]. I need a heroiiine, aaaah. I'm holding out for my hero till the morning Hliiight. She's gotta be [[love Quest|true]], she's gotta be pretty and she's got to be the sweetest thing in liiiiffe, and her name be Ivvyyyyy. Dedicated to her. I love you, Ivy."
*'''4:53-5:00''' - Chris [[Creepy stare|looks at you creepily]], then blows a kiss.
*'''5:00-5:52''' - Chris [[recycling|recycles]] scenes, closing on his intense gitar solo. Notably, he whacks on the whammy bar long after the song has since faded out.
*'''Overall''' - The fact that Chris doesn't realize how [[homos|gay]] singing this song makes him seem.
*'''Overall''' - Chris drawing himself more slender and buff when he actually is becoming fatter.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ray Commentaries: CWCVille Idol
| ytid = lnkZSKvOxS8
| stardate = 1 [[January 2011]]
| maker = Ricky Ray
| subject = [[Chris]]
| type = Commentary
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]

{{References}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's Message for Ivy]]|nextlink=[[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]|}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{IvySaga}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-26]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-26]]
[[Category:Videos published to CChan6789]]
[[Category:My Personal Videos (that can stay online)]]

Some Favored Comedians

2026-09-16T02:46:24Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Some Favored Comedians''' (officially "'''Some Favored Comedians.MOV'''") is a 20 [[May 2010]] video where [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing various comedians and Seth MacFarlane. He reiterates his [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|dislike for]] the change in voice actors on ''The Cleveland Show'', does several terrible impersonations, and describes a scenario where [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]] meets him and does a stand up act about how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] it is to meet a retarded manchild. Apparently, Seinfeld also forgets to throw in anything resembling a joke during the act. During this extended fantasy, Chris refers to himself as a "[[Chris and reality|teenage boy]]", even though he was twenty-eight at the time the video was made, and hadn't been a teenager since early [[2002]].

After the [[Seinfeld]] bit, Chris spends a while trying to explain how he doesn't actually hate Jews at all, but makes no attempts to justify his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recent actions]]. He shifts gears to mention that Larry the Cable Guy should be called "Larry the Trucker Man," and then changes subjects once again, in an ADD kind of way, to Peter Cullen's voice acting [[Optimus Prime]].

Despite Chris being a critical and avid fan of ''The Cleveland Show'', he consistently refers to {{w|Reagan Gomez-Preston|Reagan Gomez}} as "Regina". This could be an artifact of his [[autism]] for which he blames almost all of his shortcomings, or he could have confused her with {{w|Regina King}}, who voices characters on ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]''. He also repeatedly mispronounces Mila Kunis's name. Considering that she's the voice of his favorite ''[[Family Guy]]'' [[gal-pal]], well, that comes as no surprise.
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Some Favored Comedians
| ytid = ArXO6O_hxz4
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[05142010]]
| next = [[100 2188]]
}}

{{quote|I probably sound like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]], you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.}}

=== Transcript ===
Ah, [[Captain's Log]], May 22nd- [''flashes his school ring''] May 20th, 2010. I just uh, started up this video [''takes his [[glasses]] off''] to uh, give y'all a little update about myself [''puts glasses back on, coughs'']. You know, I'm doing well, so's my [[Barbara Chandler||mom]], and for your information my [[Bob Chandler||father]] is alive and well, so that rumor is false. [[My father is alive and well.

Anyway uh, anyway with that, I wanna talk about some of my favorite uh, comedy people. But uh, I'd like to start off with uh, prefacing with uh, preferencing an old- a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|past video of mine]], of which I have uh made the complaint about uh... {{w|Reagan Gomez-Preston|Regina Gomez}} replacing {{w||Nia Long}} on ''[[The Cleveland Show]]''. I mean yeah that was definitely like a trade down in comparison. [''Chris turns to his TV''] Let's go to a clip of Nia Long.

[''Clip of ''The Cleveland Show'' plays – probably from "Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance"'']

And then uh now, check out uh, Regina Gomez in comparison.

[''Plays another clip from ''The Cleveland Show'' – probably from "Once Upon a Tyne in New York"'']

You see a difference? Big difference. Regina is a whiny-voiced little brat, whereas uh Nia... [''turns to TV''] was a lot better. And uh, [''turns to camera''] an another reference, that was like uh, when they changed the voice- they changed the voice actress for [''turns to TV''] [[Family Guy#Chris and Meg|Megan Griffin]]. I mean, yeah, here's the first voice. This is an improvement, by the way.

[''Plays a clip from ''Family Guy'' - "I Never Met the Dead Man"'']

Yeah, I tell you what, uh, this was a better change in comparison. You know, change it from... {{w|Lacey Chabert|I forget her name}}... to {{w|Mila Kunis}}. [''pronounced "kuhn-is" instead of the proper "koon-is"''] Whoops, I don't need to select it. Here we go. Here's Mila.

[''Plays a clip from ''Family Guy'' - "Don't Make Me Over"'']

Yeah, big difference. Big difference between the uh, voice actresses, you know. When they sw- they, did it from whoever she was to Mila Kunis, that was an improvement because, you know, maturing- the voice deepens naturally. Whereas ''The Cleveland Show'' switching from Ni- switching from Nia Long to Regina Gomez. That's a trade ''down.'' [''gestures and points down''] I mean I- I gotta tell you my opinion [''removes glasses'']. It must have been like uh, Seth MacFarlane and uh, Mike Henry musta had uh, too many [[Alcohol|drinks]] or somethin' to decide to uh, switch from Nia to Regina. Or a- or I don't know whether it's um, it was their decision or what Nia had in her head when sh- uh, when she left the show for that point.

And I leave you all with that. Let's talk about uh, let's talk about famous comedy people. Uh, y'all know I like uh, I like from class-, from the classics, {{w|Lucille Ball}} [''High-pitched voice impression''] ''Hello, friends. I'm your [[Vitameatavegamin]] girl. Are you tired, run down, and listless? Do you [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poop out]] at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin''. And I also like [[Red Skelton]]. [''Dopey voice impression''] ''We were all going, OK, we were all going to the, uh, we're going to the par-, we're going to the parade. We got a float that we-, and this float that we were on, it looked like the back end of a Cadillac. And then something, and then something happened and we, uh, we don't know what happened, but we went out of control and crazy, and we ended up in McGriffin Park lake. Two ducks swam by and one turned the other and said, "Gertrude, who hatched that thing?"'' [''chuckles a bit''] Very funny people. I also liked uh, I also liked {{w|Dick Van Dyke}}, {{w|Mary Tyler Moore}} and, {{w|Bob Newhart}}, there's another good one. I like those types of people, but from today's, uh, from this generation, I like {{w|Tim Allen}}. He's a funny man. Yeah. [''Laughs''] I was just remembering the uh, part where- the one where he ''Tim don't put your hand in the light socket *pfft*''. But seriously though, he does very good, he's a funny man.

I also like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]]. He- he's very funny. I watch his show every- I watch his show every day on TBS... And, you know, too bad- too bad it got ended. He coulda done more shows but whatever. That was his call there. He decided that after nine seasons. I like Jerry Seinfeld, he's a funny man. You know I would- you know I would definitely like to see this, you know, even as [[Chris and reality|a video response from Jerry Himself]], his view on autis- on autistic people. Especially the high functioning autistics like myself, you know.

[''Stares into space, makes a [[Creepy Stare|creepy smile]]'']

And also, think about this, I probably sound like Jerry Sein- I probably sound like Jerry Seinfeld, you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.

[''Pantomimes holding a mic, attempts to impersonate Jerry Seinfeld'']
Ah yeah, so I just recently been introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to [[Fuck quest|meet himself a lady]], so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to ladies, but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the uh, unknown. That's very common amongst the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. [[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and Internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves]]. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

[''Pantomimes releasing mic, stares into space for a few moments.'']
Eh, yeah, but anyway I would definitely like to hear Jerry Seinfeld's uh, opinions and views, or a comedy sketch about autistic people. 'Cuz I want to ask him about that. Oh yeah, also you know, another Jewish dude I like- that he strikes me as funny, {{w|Brad Garrett}}, you know, from ''Everybody Loves Raymond'', also doing the guy from ''’Til Death''. He actually also starred in an episode of ''Seinfeld'' I read, where he steals Jerry's car. Still that does- that seems kind of dumb, you know. I even read that he tried- he tried out for Kramer, I mean, I mean he definitely would not have been- I do not know if he would be a better Kramer, I mean [''Voice changes''] "What are you looking at crazy?" I dunno. Ha, I mean,
[''Waves arms around''] "Who-whoop-whoop PIA! Yeah. Hi Jer!" [''chuckles''] Yeah I think uh, Brad Garrison is a little bit more subtle, but I like him too. You know. And I have nothing against [[Jews|Jewish people]], I mean there's people too, and I got nothing against Jewish community. I mean they have their views and we have our views, let's leave it at that. I mean they're all- they're all- they're people we're people, [''face contorts with racism''] no problem.

I know I sent [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|crossed signals]] about that at past points. Oh, hey, you know [[Homos|another dude I like?]] [''puts on a baseball cap''] quo- Larry the quote-unquote Cable Guy. ''Git-R-Done!'' [''chuckles''] Funny dude, you know. He definitely could been- he definitely had the trucker look going for him if he uh, wasn't being the cable guy. Yeah I mean, I would definitely think that would have uh, the way he was dressed they would him "Larry the Trucker Man!" Trucker Man. [''chuckles''] Yeaah, pretty funny. [''takes off cap''] Oh and also you know, speaking of impressions uhh, here's {{w|Peter Cullen}}. [''Poorly impersonates some lines from [[Transformers]].''] "Autobots! Transform and roll out! Bumblebee, I need you to go and spy on the Decepticons. Let's- Let's see what they're go- what they're doing over there." That's [[Ego|spot on, dead on]] Peter Cullen right there. And I'm glad that, you know, aside from the generation one series, they let him do t- he volunte- he volunteered to do the voice of Optimus in the new movies, as well as in the video games. I mean all th- of all the generations between the Optimus Primes and the Optimus Primals, [''points at camera''] Peter Cullen ''is'' Optimus Prime. Of all time.

Anyway, that's uhh, just uh some of my opinions about some current and past comedians and uh, Seth! Mike! Bring back Nia Long! [''Puts glasses back on''] Anyway, I'll leave y'all with uh, that and those impressions. Until then- until another time when I have another thought or, whatever - have a good day. [''makes the peace sign''] Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Jerry's view on autistic people
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FI3M-Q-7ECg}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| maker = simplycarlton
| subject = {{Autism|text}}
| type = Stand up comedy
| info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Joke Chris Chan Wrote for Jerry Seinfeld. (updated with theme music.)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T9Ch_VdUzCE}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2023]]
| maker = Arthur
| subject = {{Autism|text}}
| type = AI-created video
| info =
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[05142010]]|nextlink=[[100 2188]]}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, May 2010| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

Evan E-mails

2026-09-12T22:10:57Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{honest}}
{{quote|Every Person is Doing it!! Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)|Chris [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|during his editing sessions on ED.]]}}

These are emails between Chris and [[Evan Christopher George]], including the infamous masturbatin' and squirtin' emails from [[November 2007]] and emails about [[Asperchu]] from [[March 2010]]

==Evan Sends Chris Fanart, Chris Gets Pissed==

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 [[November 2007]]

This is some fanart of Sonichu my friends and I have drawn. I hope you enjoy it!

[schu girlfriend auditions.jpg - An image of a happy, cartoonish Chris sitting at a table with two signs, one saying "GIRLFRIEND AUDITIONS" and the other saying "NO [[Chris and Race#Black people|DARKIES]]".]

[sonichu rule 34.PNG - A comic in which Chris whines to Sonichu about not having a girlfriend. Sonichu feels sad for Chris, and gives Chris a peck on the cheek. Chris is shocked, but Sonichu hushes Chris and says, "We need this." In the last panel, Sonichu is fucking Chris in the ass, the latter excited beyond belief about finally losing his virginity and soon getting to brag about it on [[YouTube]].]

[sonichu rule 34 2.jpg - A picture of Sonichu masturbating while saying "NO DARKIES, JERKOP!". Credits are listed as 'Bui Anon, © Anon 2007']

[sonichu fanart.gif - Chris and another [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Blazesonic Sonic-Pikachu hybrid] waving their fists and [[The Creepy Stare|glaring at each other]].]}}

{{quotebox|
CWCSonichu to [Evan]

Thank you for your fanart contributions. In constructive criticism, I like the one with me and the "Girlfriend Auditions," as well as [[Stare|my glaring]] in the eyes of the blue guy.

But I AM FEELING GREAT DETEST TOWARDS THE OTHER TWO; Sonichu and I are NOT of that nature at all!!!!! If you would like to make it up to me, though, please draw a strip of Rosechu stripping for Sonichu, and have him f*** her, and draw Rosechu '''masturbating and squirtin'''' [emphasis added].

[[Homo|I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT!!!!]] I WILL NOT BE VEERED IN ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!

Again, MOST Nasty Fanarts ARE NOT APPRECIATED AT ALL; please feel free to share that quote with the rest of the fans.

Sincerely;
Christian Weston Chandler.

[Chris included a picture in the email of himself and Sonichu looking angry. Sonichu appears to be waving his hand awkwardly.]

We're Keeping Track.}}

{{quoteboxred|
I'm very sorry I disappointed you, Chris-Chan. I drew what you wished.

[Evan included a comic featuring [[Rosechu]] with a giant squirtin' penis.]}}

{{quoteboxred|
Oh, and here's more art from more of my friends. I didn't draw any of this stuff, though, so if you don't like it, I have no guilt!

[Evan included four drawings, including depictions of more Rosechu penis and a naked [[Mary Lee Walsh]]].}}

{{quoteboxred|
Alright, I have one last batch of fanart! I'm sorry to send so many to you, but my friends are really eager to share it all. I hope you enjoy!

[Evan appended five more drawings, with more dickgirl Rosechu and a parody of [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]].}}

{{quotebox|
CWCSonichu to [Evan]

Thank You Very MUCH!!! You just saved me a lot of trouble on sorting out the pics from the hellish embelishment of my person that I am certain you are in on.

[Chris included a link to the "Chris-chan" page on ED]}}

{{quoteboxred|
[Evan] to CWCSonichu

What! What a horrible page. I'm sorry!

I must wonder how they got pictures of our e-mails! I hope no one's hacking my e-mail account...}}

{{quotebox|
"CWCSonichu@aol.com" to [Evan]

Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu; Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' [[Pickle|PICKLE]]!!!! IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN' PICKLE, AND YOU MAY SPREAD THIS QUOTE TO OTHER ADULT FAN ARTISTS, I WILL CREATE '''YOU''' IN [[Soul Calibur|SOUL CALIBUR]] III AND [[Death threats|BEAT]] '''[[Death threats|YOU]]''' [[Death threats|UP]] LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!!!}}

{{quoteboxred|
Uh oh.

[This came with a drawing of Rosechu holding a pickle and saying, "I wish pickles could masturbate and squirt." Cartoon Evan replies, "Fudge, you're going to beat me up in SC now, aren't you? I shouldn't have let our souls get fiercely entangled."]}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:Chrisreply1evan.png|Evan's original email and Chris's reply.
File:Detailsonichurule34.png|A larger view of Evan's second comic.
File:SonchuRosechuzappinandsquirtin.png|Evan's response to Chris's request.
File:Chrischan reply 3.JPG|More fanart.
File:Chrischan reply 4 jpeg.jpg|The last batch of fanart.
Image:Chrisreplyevan2.PNG
Image:Chrisreply3.PNG
File:Chrischan reply 7.PNG|Evan's eventual response to the whole issue.
</gallery></center>

==Chris Drilled Out Evan's Dick==

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Evang7 
To: chrischansonic 
Sent: 11:50 PM (3 [[March 2010]]) 
Subject: Where's MY apology?

YOU DRILLED OUT MY DICK.

You have wronged me more than you have wronged Alec, and we both know it. You steal from me and still refuse to admit that Simonla is a ripoff.

I am PLEASED with Simonla's death, but YOU DRILLED OUT MY DICK. Are you JEALOUS of my penis, and the fact that I have recieved VAGINAL RELATIONS with it? Why would you DRILL MY DICK OUT?? And have a FOURTH GRADER do it to me? Do you even realize how SICK that is? Making a little girl commit murder??}}

{{quotebox|Firstly, I apologize for portraying your execution; the pages will be changed within a few days. Second, As I have made it clear in the past, I don't get along well with most male persons, and there ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you. Third, Accept it Face-Value; YOU GOT YOUR WISH, Simonla is dead. Let's agree that your wish has been satisfied and move on.

Have a good day,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thanks for cooperating and all, I'm just very weirded out by the fact that not only did you have to kill me, you had to castrate me. Like, isn't that a BIT overboard? Making a fourth grader drill out some dude's penis is a bit extreme. How do you think Sandy felt about it?

I'm sorry for pressing you on the subject, I just find it really odd that you had to go to that sort of length. It's a little hypocritical too, you whine at Alec for having Metal Asperchu set you on fire but then it's okay for you to have Sandy drill out my genitals?

I do appreciate that Simonla is dead and I'd like to move on, it's just frankly sort of disturbing that you castrated me. I wouldve been fine with just dying, you can leave in me getting executed if you want. But my penis? Really? Just because you're redoing it doesn't undo the past! And you seem to think it's fine that you made a fourth grader do it!

I just want an answer, I'm not going to make you kill anyone else anymore. It's just weird to me. Sort of disturbing. Would you cut off the dicks of every other man in the world if you could?}}

{{quotebox|To answer your question... no I would not. Again that was portrayed out of rage. And Sandy was enraged against you for killing her mother; would you not be that super angry towards the killer of your own mother, if that was the case, God forbid?}}

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan calls Chris out on death by genital mutilation.
File:Evan responds to his death2.png|More explanation why kids drill dicks
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[4-cent_garbage.com]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[Evan]]
* [[Mass debating]]

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20080512213951/http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response 4chan's response to the correspondence.]

{{Emails}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:E-mails]]

List of Chris's video games

2026-09-12T01:00:00Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* PlayStation 4 (PS4) */

{{Needs Updating|[[Commodore 64 Ultimate Review]] (more C64 games)}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|thumb|left|[[CWCki]]'s [[United States of America|American]] readers helped pay for this. Anyone else suddenly feel like cheating on their taxes?]]
[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|One of their most valuable customers.]]

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''video game collection''', based in large part on a spreadsheet he sent to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in order to show how dedicated he is to video games. He surely is. The actual [[Excel Saga|Excel]] file contains more information about each game that Chris listed himself for some reason, like the number of players for each game. Some games are obvious (every ''[[Sonic]]'' game, and almost every ''[[Pokémon]]'' game), some are surprising (''[[Homos|Barbie Game Girl]]''), some are bizarre (''Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle|Pickled]] Edition''), and some are outright embarrassing (''Pooh's Party Game: In Search of the Treasure'', ''Learning with the PooYoos'').

For whatever reason, Chris's game inventory also includes demo discs, game peripherals (such as his [[PSEye]]), and other things that can't really be considered games (such as {{w|Game Boy Advance Video}} cartridges, a concept that failed to appeal to a majority of American consumers... except for Chris, apparently, who bought several of them). God only knows why Chris felt it was a brilliant idea to send a [[Nintendo]] executive a list of games he has on competing platforms, or to send a list of imports to a game company that practically invented region lock-out to prevent games from being imported.

The bulk of the list is only accurate to around the time of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], in [[January 2009]]. Luckily, his public [[PSN]] profile and other sources of information have made it possible to get a clearer picture of his ever-expanding game collection since then. [[HEXbox|Xbox]] games and hardware were conspicuously missing from the initial list, but according to his [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he most likely owned one at some point, and in later years he would acquire an Xbox One.

Many [[trolls]] conservatively estimate that Chris and his family have spent at least $30,000 on video games in his lifetime (including $1,000 from a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1994 shopping spree]]), roughly 3 times the amount of Chris's annual [[Monthly tugboat|income]] – your tax dollars at work. In 2010 alone, Chris spent nearly $3,500 in downloaded games and other PSN content, and the toll continues to rise. A [[January 2015]] leak by a Nintendo employee revealed that he had made 585 purchases on his account, in Nintendo video game products (including hardware, software, DLC, etc.) in a span of 4.5 years. This leak also showed that Chris's addiction to buying video games has worsened '''hard''' over the years, and wouldn't stop even when his family was [[Financhu Crisis|in dire straits]].

After [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]], many of these games are presumed to have been destroyed or otherwise lost, but no final verdict on that matter has been given. It's also unknown whether or not the Chandler household is still in possession of any remaining games following Chris's [[Jail Saga|arrest for incest]] and subsequent move to a [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA|new place]].

==Chris (barely) lets go==
Chris has '''''very''''' ''occasionally'' sold off some of his games to earn money. This occurred most frequently throughout 2010, but (perhaps unsurprisingly) hasn't happened much ever since.

In early [[August 2010]], according to his [[Jackie E-mails 8|e-mails with Jackie]], Chris sold off "12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games" at a local pawn shop, hoping to snag some spending money and get around his father's iron grip on his finances. (He actually attempted to sell 23 PlayStation games total; all but six were refused due to their poor condition.) A couple of weeks later, he went back and sold off more NES and SNES games, as well as his Super Nintendo console and a few accessories for it. Between both trips he pocketed a little over $80, but the extent of what he got rid of is not fully documented.

On 31 August, he made a third trip to the pawn shop, selling off his Nintendo 64 and all his games for the console. Total proceeds: $40. At the same time he tried to sell his 16-bit Sega consoles and games, but failed, since his Genesis was apparently malfunctioning.

Around the same time, Chris also made a couple of trips to his local [[GameStop]] to trade in some of his collection. In early August, he gave up "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP, and 4 DS games" for $50 in store credit, which he immediately plowed back into a pre-order for more games. Later, around the end of the month, he traded in several Game Boy Advance, GameCube, and Nintendo DS games for $100 worth of GameStop store credit. In both cases, it's not clear exactly which titles he let go of.

In [[October 2010]], Chris dropped by Plan 9 Music, a music store in [[Charlottesville]], and sold them "7 PS3, 2 PSP, 4 Gamecube and 1 Wii game" along with several movie DVDs, although as usual he did not specify which titles. He thereby earned $48.75, most of which went directly into [[Chris and nutrition|his stomach]] and [[Son-Chu]]'s gas tank.

In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris mentioned the pawn shop trip to his enemies. A few weeks later, [[Clyde Cash]] obtained three of Chris's old games and his Super Game Boy from the pawn shop and uploaded pictures of the loot here on the [[CWCki]]. The pictures show that at one point, Chris labeled his games with his name and birthdate (which now serve as a TRUE and HONEST certificate of authentication), and that his copy of ''Dr. Mario'' was kept in less than satisfactory condition.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg|Clyde's haul.
File:Dk3v.jpg|Note how the sticker label is peeling on the corners. This isn't a common occurrence.
File:Fotns.jpg|A [[JERKS|rather surprising]] title that Chris once owned.
File:Nametage.jpg|The Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty.
File:Drmariofull.jpg|LOOK AT THAT DIRT GODDAMN.
File:Whytp.jpg|The original label was apparently damaged, so Chris tried replacing it. It shows.
File:Thefuck.jpg|Goo Gone is an alien concept to Chris.
</gallery>
</center>

Oddly enough, in August [[2008]], Chris auctioned off a pink {{w|LeapFrog Enterprises|LeapFrog}} {{w|Leapster}} on [[eBay]], and received $29.99 for it. The Leapster is a handheld edutainment video game system marketed to children ages 3-11. It was released in late [[2003]], which means that Chris was at least ''21'' when he bought it. He may have bought it because there was a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|''Sonic X'']] game available for the system. The game, which involves answering [[Chris and mathematics|math problems]] to advance, is appropriate for 5-7 year olds, fitting considering Chris's [[Chris and psychology|arrested development.]]

Despite these attempts, and owning current generation systems (such as the [[PS4]] and [[Nintendo]] Switch), Chris often returns to his older consoles. After [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]] (presumably) destroyed much of Chris's video game collection, he repurchased many of the games, sans ones he already purchased on the Wii Virtual Console and PlayStation Network.

==Games bought during the Financhu Crisis==
Chris's habit of wasting money on games continued even during the [[Financhu Crisis]], a time of self-inflicted financial hardship for the Chandlers, in which Chris regularly begged for money. These purchases are denoted with *FC* in the notes section of the lists below.

==The List==
===Nintendo===
===='''Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)'''====
Half of these NES games are on his 3DS Virtual Console (VC), while the others are physical copies for Chris's actual NES console (that he probably rarely plays).


{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''{{w|1942 (video game)|1942}}''
|Capcom
|
|$12
|-
|''3D Excitebike
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D Kirby's Adventure
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D Kid Icarus
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''3D TwinBee
|Konami
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$4.99
|-
|''3D Urban Champion
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$4.99
|-
|''3D Xevious
|Bandai Namco
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|$5.99
|-
|''Adventures of Lolo
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''Adventure Island II
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''Balloon Fight
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Baseball (1983 video game)|Baseball}}''
|Nintendo
|
|$5.58
|-
|''Bases Loaded
|Hamster
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Batman (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Batman}}''
|Sunsoft
|
|$15.24
|-
|''Blaster Master
|Sunsoft
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|$4.99
|-
|''{{w|Castlequest}}''
|Nexoft
|
|$9.95
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania II: Simon's Quest}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse}}''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''City Connection
|Hamster
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Clu Clu Land
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Crash'n the Boys Street Challenge
|Arc System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Dance Aerobics}}''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Dig Dug
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jr.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Donkey Kong 3}}
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash. Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Classics''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Double Dragon
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Double Dragon II: The Revenge
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Déjà Vu''
|Kemco-Seika
|
|-
|''{{w|Dr. Mario (video game)|Dr. Mario}}''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash. Rebought twice as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-

|''Galaga
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon's Darkness
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ghosts'n Goblins
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Gyruss#NES and Famicom|Gyruss}}''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ice Climber
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Kabuki Quantum Fighter}}''
|HAL
|
|-
|''{{w|Kirby's Adventure}}''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Kung Fu''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|Little Nemo: The Dream Master}}''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Life Force
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mach Rider
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Mcdonalds|M.C. Kids]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Games
|
|-
|''Mega Man
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 2
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 4
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 5
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man 6
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Mendel Palace}}''
|Hudson Soft
|
|-
|''{{w|Metroid}}''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mighty Bomb Jack
|Tecmo Koei
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mighty Final Fight
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Milon's Secret Castle''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. Rebought for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''NES Remix Open Tournament Golf
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Ninja Gaiden}}''
|Tecmo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden II
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Pac-Man''
|Tengen
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Pin*Bot (video game)|Pin-Bot}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Punch-Out!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|R.C. Pro-Am|R.C. Pro-AM}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Renegade
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''River City Ransom
|Technos/Aksys
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Chris and English|Sesame Street ABC]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''Short Order/Eggsplode''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sky Kid
|Bandai Namco
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Solomon's Key''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. Rebought 2 times as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Spelunker
|Tozai Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Star Soldier
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|StarTropics}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Summer Carnival '92 RECCA
|Kaga Electronics
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super C
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Dodge Ball
|ARC System Works
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. 3
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Super Glove Ball}}''
|Mattel
|Given that this game came with the {{w|Power Glove}}, it is possible Chris also owns the Glove.
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros}}/{{w|Duck Hunt}}/World Class Track Meet''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros. 2}}''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''{{w|Super Mario Bros. 3}}''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tecmo Bowl
|Tecmo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Wario's Woods
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS. Bought twice.
|-
|''Wrecking Crew
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_II:_The_Arcade_Game#Ports|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Tennis''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Mysterious Murasame Castle
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges (video game)|The Three Stooges]]''
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario's Woods|Wario's Woods]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)#NES_version|Wheel of Fortune]]''
|GameTek
|
|-
|''Wrecking Crew''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|}

===='''Game Boy'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Alleyway|Alleyway]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Barbie: Game Girl|Barbie]]:[[Tomgirl|Game Girl]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bases Loaded (video game)|Bases Loaded]]''
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Rescue of Princess Blobette|A Boy and His Blob: The Rescue of Princess Blobette]]''
|Absolute
|
|-
|''Brainbender''
|Electro-Brain
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania: The Adventure|Castlevania Adventure]]''
|Konami
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cool Spot|Cool Spot]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck (Capcom)|Darkwing]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Duck]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (Game Boy)|Donkey Kong]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Land|Donkey Kong Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Donald Duck|Duck Tales]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:F-1 Race|F-1 Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games|Fist of the North Star]]''
|Electro-Brain
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Game_and_Watch_Gallery#Game_.26_Watch_Gallery|Game and Watch Gallery]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera (red)]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|Game Boy Camera (blue)
|Nintendo
|That's right - two cameras. Gotta catch 'em all!
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Golf (video game)|Golf]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Heiankyo Alien|Heiankyo Alien]]''
|Meldac
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Home Alone (video game)|Home Alone]]''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters|Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Kirby's Block Ball
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kirby's Dream Land|Kirby's Dream Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Dream Land 2
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby's Pinball Land
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby's Star Stacker
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kwirk|Kirk]]''
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marble Madness|Marble Madness]]''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge]]''
|Capcom
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man II (Game Boy)|Mega Man II]]''
|Capcom
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Mega Man III
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man IV
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man V
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid II: Return of Samus|Metroid II: Return of Samus]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Mole Mania
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mystical Ninja starring Goemon
|Konami
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Red and Blue|Blue]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Red''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pinball: Revenge of the Gator
|HAL Laboratory
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Pretty Soldier [[Sailor Moon]]''
|Angel
|Japanese import. Purchased through eBay in June 2006.
|-
|''Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon R''
|Angel
|Japanese import. Purchased through eBay in June 2006.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Qix|Qix]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Quarth|Quarth]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ren & Stimpy: Cadet Adventures''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the 'Gator|Revenge of the Gator]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Shanghai''
|HAL
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land|Super Mario Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins|Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Scrabble''
|Milton-Bradley
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan'']]
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tennis (video game)|Tennis]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tetris (Game Boy)|Tetris]]''
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay along with his original Game Boy in March 2018.<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings#Game Boy w/ Tetris]]</ref>
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Sword of Hope II
|Kemco
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Tumble Pop
|G-Mode
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Turrican|Turrican]]''
|Accolade
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!|Wario Blast]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3|Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3]]''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wave Race|Wave Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Itchy & Scratchy Game|The Itchy & Scratchy Game]]''
|Bits Studios/Acclaim.
|-
|''The Chessmaster''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''Legend of the Mystical Ninja
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mario Paint''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mega Man X''
|Capcom
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Pilotwings''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Stunt Race FX''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Game Boy''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Kart''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Metroid''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Scope 6-in-1''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Safari''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Nintendo 64 (N64)'''====
According to an [[Jackie E-mails 12|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and most of the games listed below (save for the Wii downloads, obviously) in [[August 2010]].
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Cruisin' USA
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Diddy Kong Racing
|Rare
|Sold on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|''Hey You, Pikachu!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Racers
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 64
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Trolls|Mischief Makers]]
||Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
|Midway
|Sold on eBay in July 2008.
|-
|''Paper Mario''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle League
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in August 2008. Later repurchased as a digital download for the Nintendo Wii.
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sin & Punishment|Sin & Punishment]]''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Star Fox 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64
|Nintendo
|Sold on eBay in July 2008. Later repurchased as a digital download for the Nintendo Wii.
|-
|''Wave Race 64''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Story''
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Game Boy Color (GBC)'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bionic Commando: Elite Forces
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 2''
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 3''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gex: Enter the Gecko''
|Crave
|
|-
|''Harvest Moon GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Harvest Moon 2 GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Harvest Moon 3 GBC
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Legend of the River King
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Legend of the River King 2
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Lufia: The Legend Returns
|Natsume
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mario Tennis
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man Xtreme
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mega Man Xtreme 2
|Capcom
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Crystal
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Gold
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle Challenge
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Pokémon Silver
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trading Card Game
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Pokémon Yellow
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Shantae
|WayForward
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. Deluxe
|Nintendo
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Toki Tori
|Two Tribes Publishing
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Wario Land II
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land III
|Nintendo
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Xtreme Sports
|WayForward
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|}

====Game Boy Advance (GBA)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Chu Chu Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Classic NES Series: Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''e-Reader
|Nintendo
|Nintendo’s barcode reader peripheral for ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and other games.
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure Max Heart
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game Boy Advance Jukebox
|Gamester
|A GBA player for MP3 music files.
|-
|''Gumby Vs. the Astrobots
|Namco
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped
|THQ
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Super Circuit
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Fusion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[My Little Pony]]: The Runaway Rainbow
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Emerald
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon FireRed
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon LeafGreen
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic]] Advance
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 2
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 3
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Battle
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Pinball Party
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Mario Advance
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris Worlds
|THQ
|
|-
|''The Three Stooges
|Cinemaware
|
|-
|''Wario Land 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc. Mega Microgame$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare: Twisted!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi Topsy-Turvy
|Nintendo
|
|}

===='''Game Boy Advance Video'''====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''All Grown Up! Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Limited Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Platinum Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Premium Edition
|Majesco
|Chris’s 100th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Special Edition
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''The Fairly Oddparents: Volume 1
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 1
| Majesco
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 2
| Majesco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Beach Blank-Out Blastoise
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: For Ho-Oh the Bells Toll!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: I Choose You!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Johto Photo Finish
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Sonic X Volume 1: A Super Sonic Hero!
|Majesco
|
|}

====Nintendo GameCube (NGC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Amazing Island
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Animal Crossing]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:BMX XXX|BMX XXX]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the Gamecube
|-
|''Evolution Worlds
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''F-Zero GX
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Go! Go! Hypergrind
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Party
|Konami
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Master Quest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:MC Groovz Dance Craze|MC Groovz Dance Craze]]
|MadCatz
|
|-
|''Mario Party 5
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man Vs.
|Namco
|
|-
|''Pac-Man World 2
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Box: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Channel
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage - [[Pickle]]d Edition
|BAM!
|
|-
|'''''[[Blake|Shadow the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Gems Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Heroes
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Activision
|
|-
|''Spyro: A Hero's Tail
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Star Fox Adventures
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron 2
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3: Rebel Strike
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Super Mario Sunshine
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Melee
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race: Blue Storm
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gamecube Preview Disc
|Nintendo/Sega/Others
|
|}

====Nintendo DS and DSi====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''100 Classic Books
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|''3D MahJong
|Cosmigo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''[[Animal Crossing]] Wild World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''A Kappa's Trail
|Nintendo
|Digital Purchase via DsiWare
|-
|''Airport Mania: First Flight
|Lemon Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Airport Mania: Non-Stop Flights
|Lemon Games
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 1- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 2- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 3- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Anonymous Notes: Chapter 4- From the Abyss
|Sonic Powered Co. Ltd
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Art Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Big Brain Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Slow in the minds|Brain Age]]
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 150th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cooking Mama
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Drill Dozer
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest IX:Seninels of the Starry Skies
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest VI: Realms of Revelation
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Faceez! Monsters
|Neko Entertainment
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''[[Love quest|Feel the Magic XY/XX]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Flipnote Studio]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fossil Fighters: Champions
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Danzen! DS
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''House M.D.- Episode 1: Globetrotting
|Legacy Interactive
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''House M.D.- Episode 2: The Blue Meanie
|Legacy Interactive
|A digital download for the Nintendo Dsi
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
|THQ
|
|-
|''Jump Superstars
|Nintendo
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Kirby: Canvas Curse
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby Mass Attack
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Magnetica
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Hoops 3-on-3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters First Hunt
|Nintendo
|A demo cartridge
|-
|''Metroid Prime Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs: Dachshund & Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Picross 3D
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|'''''Pokémon Black and White
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Black and White 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Conquest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Diamond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pearl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trozei!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Polarium|Polarium]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Last Specter
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Retro Atari Classics
|Atari
|
|-
|''The Rub Rabbits
|Sega
|
|-
|''Snood 2: On Vacation
|DSI
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Colors DS
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sprung]]
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Star Fox Command
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sudoku Gridmaster
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64 DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Princess Peach
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''System Flaw
|Storm City Games
|Purchased from Best Buy in July 2010
|-
|''Tetris DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''True Swing Golf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare D.I.Y.
|Nintendo
|Purchased from Best Buy in June 2010
|-
|''WarioWare Touched
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Nightmare Troubadour
|Konami
|
|}

====Wii====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing City Folk
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''AquaSpace
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Art Style: Rotozoa
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Battalion Wars 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario Online RX
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Elebits
|Konami
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country Returns
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Family Table Tennis
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Fortune Street
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''FlingSmash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fluidity
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Link's Crossbow Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Dream Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Epic Yarn
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby's Return to Dream Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 1
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 2
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Learning with the PooYoos- Episode 3
|Lexis
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mario Kart Wii
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 9
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Sports Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Super Sluggers
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid: Other M
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 3 Corruption
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''My Pokémon Ranch
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mystery Case Files: The Malgrave Incident
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[White knights|NiGHTs]]: Journey of Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|''Pikmin 2
|Nintendo
|A Wii port with a new control scheme
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Revolution
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Poképark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure
|Nintendo
|
|-

|'''''Poképark 2: Wonders Beyond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pong Toss Pro- Frat Party Games
|JV Games Inc.
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''ThruSpace
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Rhythm Heaven Fever
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Samurai Warriors 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sin & Punishment: Star Successor
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
|SNK
|
|-
|''Snowpack Park
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic and the Secret Rings
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Chaos
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] Legends
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Get Even
|Square Enix
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars 25th Anniversary Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Galaxy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Brawl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land: Shake It!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Music
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Party
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play: Motion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Sports
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''World of Goo
|2D Boy
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Xenoblade Chronicles
|Nintendo
|
|}

====TurboGrafx-16 Entertainment SuperSystem====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bonk's Adventure''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Wii
|}
====Nintendo 3DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''3D Game Collection
|Joindots
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''3D Solitaire
|Zen Studios
|
|-
|''Air Battle Hockey 3D
|10TACLE
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing: New Leaf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Art Academy: Lessons for Everyone!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''BearShark
|CollegeHumor
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Brain Age: Concentration Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Bravely Default
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Crazy Construction
|G-Style
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Chibi-Robo! Photo Finder
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Crashmo
|Nintendo
| A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Crosswords Plus
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dedede's Drum Dash Deluxe
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dillon's Rolling Western
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dillon's Rolling Western: The Last Ranger
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Disney Magical World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Family Tennis 3D
|ARC System Works
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Awakening
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Fluidity: Spin Cycle
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Freakyforms: Your Creations, Alive!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Freakyforms Deluxe: Your Creations, Alive!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Frogger 3D
|Konami
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]]
|-
|''Gardenscapes
|Joindots
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''HarmoKnight
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kersploosh!
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Ketzal's Corridors
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kid Icarus: Uprising
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Kirby Fighters Deluxe
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Kirby: Triple Deluxe
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Lego City Undercover: The Chase Begins
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Dream Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games
|SEGA
|
|-
|''Mario and Donkey Kong: Mini's on the Move
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Mario Golf: World Tour
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party: Island Tour
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Tennis Open
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mighty Milky Way<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>
|WayForward
|
|-
|''Naruto Powerful Shippuden
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros. 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendo 3DS Guide: Louvre
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: French Bulldog & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: Golden Retriever & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs +Cats: Toy Poodle & New Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Outdoors Unleashed: Africa 3D
|Teyon
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Paper Mario: Sticker Star
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pikmin Short Movies 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pilotwings Resort
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Plain Video Poker
|PouncingKitten
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-

|'''''Pokédex 3D
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokedex 3D Pro
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Art Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Trozei
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dream Radar
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Omega Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Alpha Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Rumble Blast
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|X]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|Y]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|-
|''Photo with Mario
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pushmo
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Rusty's Real Deal Baseball
|Nintendo
|His acquisition of every minigame led to the subject of an [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|interview over his supposed sighting of an obscure character]].
|-
|''Sakura Samurai: Art of the Sword
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic All-Stars Racing Transformed
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Boom: Shattered Crystal
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Lost World
|SEGA
|All DLC in this game purchased
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sparkle Snapshots 3D
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox 64 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Steel Diver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Steel Diver: Sub Wars
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Style Savvy: Trendsetters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 3D Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sweet Memories: Blackjack
|Circle Entertainment Ltd.
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Tekken 3D
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Tetris: Axis
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Denpa Men: They Came By Wave
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Denpa Men 2: Beyond the Waves
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Denpa Men 3: The Rise of Digitoll
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tokyo Crash Mobs
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Tomodachi Life
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Ultimate NES Remix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Xtreme Sports
|WayForward
|A digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Yoshi's New Island
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Wii U====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing Plaza'''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Arrow Time U
|XenoHorizon
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Art Academy: Sketchpad
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Bayonetta
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Bayonetta 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Luigi
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Game & Wario
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hyrule Warriors
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Lego City Undercover
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Little Inferno
|Tommorrow Corporation
|A digital download for the Wii U.
|-
|''Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade
|D3Publisher
|
|-
|[[Mario Kart 8 Videos|''Mario Kart 8'']]
|Nintendo
|Revealed via Mario Kart 8 TV
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games'''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix 1
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''NES Remix Pack
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros. U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Luigi U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendo Land
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Poker Dice Solitaire Future
|RCMADIAX
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Pikmin 3
|Nintendo
|Bundled with Wii U console
|-
|''Pikmin Short Movies HD
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Rumble U'''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Pushmo World
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Rock Zombie
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U
|-
|''Sing Party
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Skylanders Trap Team
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Transformed
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric
|SEGA
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Lost World
|SEGA
|
|-
|''Splatoon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 3D World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Maker
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. for Wii U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Letter
|TreeFall Studios
|A digital download for the Wii U. Also infamous for being absolute shit.
|-
|''The Wonderful 101
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Fit U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Party U
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii U Panorama View
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Wii U.
|-
|''ZombiU
|Ubisoft
|
|}

====Nintendo Switch====
In addition to below, Chris also subscribes to a Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack membership costing $70 a year and bought several smaller shovelware games which are nearly impossible to find on the Nintendo E-Shop.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''8-Bit Adventure Steins;Gate<ref name=Switchfriend>[[:File:Switch 11Mar2019.jpg]]</ref>
|Spike Chunsoft
|Comes bundled in with Steins;Gate Elite.
| Free
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing: New Horizons'''<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Animal Crossing: New Horizons Dream Code|From posts like these on Twitter.]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport>[[July 2026 social media posts##SupportPhysicalMedia]]</ref>
|Nintendo
|[[November 2023 social media posts#Animal Crossing: New Horizons Dream Code|Chris shared his dream island code on social media in November 2023]], resulting in several people taking pictures of it later on. It also contains several DLC's, and only one of them is known to be owned by Chris, that being Happy Home Paradise coming with his Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack membership. Chris has also played it during the [[November 2023 livestreams#First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️|First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream]].
|$59.99
|-
|''Asterix & Obelix: Heroes<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nacon
|
|$19.99
|-
|''Auralux: Constellations<ref name=streampoll>[[February 2024 social media posts#Stream Poll|From screenshots of his games shared by him on Twitter.]]</ref>
|Grove Street Games
|Part of his obsession with the [[Messiah complex|astrology]].
|$7.99
|-
|''Away: Journey To The Unexpected<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Plug In Digital
|
|$16.99
|-
|''Balan Wonderworld<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Notably, a horrible game that you can buy for $5 at Gamestop.
|$39.99
|-
|''Bridge Constructor Portal<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Headup Games
|Has DLC. It's unknown if Chris has purchased it.
|$14.99
|-
|''Burnout Paradise Remastered<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Electronic Arts
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|''Catherine: Full Body<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|Chris might have expected this game to relieve his [[Mass Debating|tension]], but as it's actually a puzzle game, he might have given up on it after realizing that.
|$49.99
|-
|''Cave Story+<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|
|$29.99
|-
|'''''Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Constellations<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|RAWRLAB Games
|Part of his obsession with the astrology.
|$4.99
|-
|''Eastward<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Chucklefish
|
|$24.99
|-
|''Emio – The Smiling Man: Famicom Detective Club<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|''Endless Ocean Luminous<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|'''''F-Zero 99'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|''FLASHBACK<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Microids
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Florence<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Annapurna Interactive
|
|$5.99
|-
|''Fortinite<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Epic Games
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Freedom Planet
|GalaxyTrail
|
|$14.99
|-
|''Hatsune Miku Logic Paint S<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Crypton Future Media
|Nope, I've got no explanation for this one.
|$14.00
|-
|''Klonoa: Phantasy Reverie Series<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Bandai Namco Entertainment
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Life is Strange: Arcadia Bay Collection<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Contains Life is Strange Remastered and Life is Strange: Before the Storm Remastered.
|$39.99
|-
|''Life is Strange 2<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|
|$31.99
|-
|''Life is Strange: True Colors<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Square Enix
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Mario Kart 8 Deluxe'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Megadimension Neptunia VII'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|''Mega Man 11<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Capcom
|Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|'''''Metroid Dread'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Minecraft''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Mojang
|Listed on Chris's Xbox profile. Has DLC.
|$29.99
|-
|''Minecraft Dungeons: Ultimate Edition<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Mojang
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Mixx Island: Remix Plus<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|[[The Red-Maned Deer|Red Deer Games]]
|Has DLC.
|$13.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia: Sisters vs Sisters'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia Game Maker R:Evolution'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Neptunia X Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''New Pokémon Snap'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Nonograms Prophecy<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|No Gravity Games
|
|$3.99
|-
|''nPaint<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Red Deer Games
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|''Pac-Man 99<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Bandai Namco Entertainment
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|'''''Persona 5 Royal'''<ref name=popularrequest>[[January 2024 livestreams#Popular Request Game Stream|From Popular Request Game Stream]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
| Mailed to Chris by enabler [[Ren Ryghts]]. Chris played it in [[Popular Request Game Stream]].
|$59.99
|-
|''Phoenotopia: Awakening<ref name=popularrequest></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Cape Cosmic
|Chris got it after being kicked out of the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention and talked about it positively.
|$19.99
|-
|''Picross S<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$7.99
|-
|''Picross S Genesis & Master System Edition<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S2<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$8.99
|-
|''Picross S3<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S4<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Picross S5<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Jupiter
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Pizza Parking<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Arach Games
|
|$5.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Legends: Arceus'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail>[[:File:Nintendo_Switch_10_August_2023_sighting.jpg]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon: Let's Go, Eevee!'''<ref name=Switchfriend2></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
| Chris owns 6 Pokeball Plus peripherals for this game.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu!'''<ref name=Switchfriend2></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
| Chris owns 6 Pokeball Plus peripherals for this game.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Quest'''<ref name=Switchfriend2>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#March 2019 Switch]]</ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|'''''Pokémon Scarlet'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Chris is currently boycotting this game due to taking over Sonichu evolution line's Pokedex's numbers.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Shield'''
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|Gifted to Chris by a [[Ween]] after begging for it on his 38th birthday.
|$59.99
|-

|'''''Pokémon Shining Pearl'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sword'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|The Pokémon Company and Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Portal: Companion Collection<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Valve Corporation
|Contains Portal 1 and Portal 2.
|$19.99
|-
|''Princess Peach: Showtime!<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|
|-
|''Puyo Puyo<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|
|$7.99
|-
|''Puyo Puyo Champions<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Rainbow Runner<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Prison Games
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|''Raji: An Ancient Epic<ref name=popularrequest></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nodding Heads Games
|Chris got it after being kicked out of the Animate! Raleigh convention and talked about it positively.
|$24.99
|-
|''Samba de Amigo: Party Central<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game – Complete Edition'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Ubisoft
|
|$14.99
|-
|'''''Sega Genesis Classics'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|A compilation of over 50 Sega Genesis games, including multiple Sonic The Hedgehog games.
|$29.99
|-
|''[[Finland|Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley]]<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Raw Fury
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Colors: Ultimate'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Forces'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Chris also bought this for PS4 and Xbox.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Frontiers'''<ref>[[October 2023 livestreams#The Return of Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime|Chris mentioned playing this game a bit during his first 2023 livestream.]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Contains only free DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Mania'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Origins Plus'''<ref name=SwitchPostJail></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|A compilation of the first four ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' games.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Sonic Superstars'''<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#List of live chat messages|From his messages on Sonic Play's Sonic Superstars LIVE!]]</ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Chris bought a Digital Deluxe edition containing a few [[Lego]]-themed items, as well as a digital artbook and soundtrack. The listed MSRP is this version, the game itself is ten bucks cheaper. Chris has also played it during the [[November 2023 livestreams#First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️|First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream]].
|$69.99
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|[[Chris and money|Purchased separately despite Chris having at least two other ways to play this game on this system]].
|$7.99
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Sega
|Purchased separately despite Chris having at least two other ways to play this game on this system.
|$7.99
|-
|'''''Sonic X Shadow Generations'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Sega
|Has DLC. Chris played it during a [[Jesus Christ Chan - Shadow Generations Speed Run|November livestream]].
|$49.99
|-
|'''''South Park: The Fractured but Whole'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''SpaceColors Runner<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Arach Games
|
|$5.99
|-
|''Splatoon 2<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Spyro Reignited Trilogy<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Activision
|
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Starlink: Battle for Atlas'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Ubisoft
|Chris owns two copies. Seen in [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)]]. As a toys-to-life game, has a lot of microtransactions and DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Steins;Gate Elite<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|$59.99
|-
|''Stranger Things 3: The Game<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Limited Run Games
|A limited run collector's edition of the game via Limited Run Games.
|$34.99
|-
|'''''Super Kirby Clash'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|Free
|-
|'''''Super Mario 3D All Stars'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Contains remasters of Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy with their respective soundtracks.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|An updated rerelease of Super Mario 3D World with a new singleplayer campaign.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario Bros. 35'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription.
|Free
|-
|'''''Super Mario Bros. Wonder'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Mario Odyssey'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Super Meat Boy'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|BlitWorks
|
|$14.99
|-
|'''''Super Meat Boy Forever'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|BlitWorks
|
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Super Neptunia RPG'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Idea Factory
|Part of Chris's obsession with Hyperdimension Neptunia. Has DLC.
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Super Smash Bros. Ultimate'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Also seen in [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)]]. Has DLC.
|$59.99
|-
|''Syndrome<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Red Deer Games
|
|$24.99
|-
|''Taiko no Tatsujin: Rhythm Festival<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment
|Has DLC.
|$49.99
|-
|'''''Team Sonic Racing'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref>
|Sega
|
|$29.99
|-
|'''''[[Tetris 99]]'''<ref name=Switchfriend></ref>
|Nintendo
|Included with the Nintendo Switch Online subscription. Played for 590 hours as of August 2023.
|Free
|-
|'''''The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|Has DLC. Chris played it during the [[February 2024 livestreams#Round 2 - Media Share Suggestion Live Stream|Round 2 - Media Share Suggestion Live Stream]].
|$39.99
|-
|''The End is Nigh<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|
|$14.99
|-
|''The Legend of Bum-bo<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nicalis
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild'''<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$24.99
|-
|''The Next Penelope<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Plug In Digital
|
|$12.99
|-
|''Them's Fightin' Herds<ref name=streampoll></ref><ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Maximum Entertainment
|Has DLC.
|$19.99
|-
|'''''Transformers: Battlegrounds'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Outright Games
|Has DLC.
|$24.99
|-
|''Violett<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Forever Entertainment
|
|$9.99
|-
|''Warframe<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Digital Extremes
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Yooka-Laylee<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Playtonic Friends
|
|$39.99
|-
|'''''Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel'''<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Konami
|Has microtransactions.
|Free
|-
|''Zodiacats<ref name=streampoll></ref>
|Silesia Games
|
|$2.99
|-
|}

====Nintendo Switch 2====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|'''Pokémon Legends Z-A'''<ref name=physicalsupport></ref>
|Nintendo
|Has DLC.
|$69.99
|}

===Sega===
====Sega Master System====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Wonder Boy''
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii. The only SMS game he has.
|}

====Sega Genesis (Mega Drive)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Alien Soldier''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Animaniacs (video game)|Animaniacs (video game)]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind|Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind]]
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Desert Strike
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Fantasia (video game)|Fantasia]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Genesis 6-Pak
|Sega
|
|-
|''Kid Chameleon
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Klax (video game)|Klax]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Monopoly
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ms. Pac Man]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Rocket Knight Adventures
|Konami
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Spinball
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|'''''Star Trek: The Next Generation
|Spectrum HoloByte
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Toy Story (video game)|Toy Story]]
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:X-Men(1993 video game)|X-Men]]
|Sega
|
|}

On 6 July 2018, Chris bought a Sega Genesis console off of eBay, apparently as a replacement.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Console Purchases]]</ref>

====Sega Game Gear====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''The Chessmaster
|Sega
|
|-
|''Columns
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Crystal Warriors
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Defenders of Oasis
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Desert Speedtrap Starring Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Dragon Crystal
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''G-LOC Air Battle
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Krusty’s Fun House
|Flying Edge
|
|-
|''Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren & Stimpy
|Sega
|
|-
|''Shining Force: Sword of Hajya
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Shinobi
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic Drift 2
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog GG
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2 GG
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|'''''Sonic Blast
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Chaos
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
|Sega
|Rebought as a digital download for the Nintendo 3DS.
|-
|''Sonic Labyrinth
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Super Columns
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Tails' Adventure
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|-
|''Vampire Master of Darkness
|Sega
|Bought as a digital download on the Nintendo 3DS
|}

====Sega CD====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Batman Returns
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
|-
|''Double Switch
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Ecco: The Tides of Time
|Sega
|
|-
|''Flashback: [[Liquid Chris|The Quest for Identity]]
|U.S. Gold
|
|-
|''Jaguar XJ220
|JVC
|
|-
|''Jurassic Park
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mad Dog McCree
|American Laser Games
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Rape|Night Trap]]
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Classics Arcade Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sewer Shark|Sewer Shark]]
|Sony Imagesoft
|
|-
|''Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Purchased with prize money from the Watch & Win Sweepstakes
|-
|''Star Wars: Rebel Assault
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Time Gal
|Renovation
|
|-
|''Tomcat Alley
|Sega
|
|-
|''Wirehead
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega 32X====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''B.C. Racers
|Front Street Publishing
|
|-
|''Cosmic Carnage
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Knuckles Chaotix
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[I AM STRONG|Toughman Contest]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Racing Deluxe
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Saturn====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Baku Baku
|Sega
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden URA
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fighters Megamix
|Sega
|
|-
|''NiGHTs into Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic R
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter Remix
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Dreamcast====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bleem! *Gran Turismo 2*
|Bleem
|An emulation disc for the PlayStation ''GT2''
|-
|''Seaman
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Chu Chu]] Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Crazy Taxi
|Sega
|
|-
|''Evolution
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Evolution 2
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Jet Grind Radio
|Sega
|Repurchased as a digital download for the PS Vita
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''The Next Tetris
|Crave
|
|-
|''Q*Bert
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''[[List_of_cards_from_The_Wall_of_Originals#Espanolic|Samba de Amigo]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Dreamcast Generator D.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack V.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Skies of Arcadia
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Shuffle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]]: [[CADD Chef|Chef's]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Luv Shack]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Magnetic Neo
|Crave
|
|-
|''Suzuki Alstare Extreme Racing
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Time Stalkers
|Sega
|
|-
|''Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation
|Eidos Interactive
|
|-
|''Toy Commander
|No Cliché
|
|-
|''Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram
|Activision
|
|-
|''Wetrix +
|XICAT
|
|}

===Sony===
==== PlayStation (PSX, PSone)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''2Xtreme
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Activision Classics
|Activision
|
|-
|''Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkies, The
|[[Greene County Conspiracy|Conspiracy]]
|
|-
|''Arcade's Greatest Hits - The Midway Collection 2
|Midway
|
|-
|''Atari Anniversary Edition Redux
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden
|Takara
|
|-
|'''''Beast Wars [[Transformers]]
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''Blaster Master: Blasting Again
|Crave
|
|-
|''Bowling
|A1
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Chris and anger|Bloody Roar]]
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Bubsy 3D
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Casper: Friends Around the World
|Sound Source
|
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 4
|Sony
|
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Sony
|A physical copy
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bash
|Sony
|
|-
|''Danger Girl
|THQ
|
|-
|''Dead in the Water
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Defcon 5
|Data East
|
|-
|''Destruction Derby
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Ultimate Battle 22
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII
|Square Enix
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Ford]] Racing
|Empire Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Frogger
|Hasbro Interactive
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gundam Battle Assault 2
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Plush Breasts|Hooters:]] Road Trip
|Ubisoft
|There's only [[Mass debating|one logical reason]] why Chris bought this.
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|989 Studios
|A physical copy
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Jumping Flash!}}
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|The King of Fighters '99}}
|SNK
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Klonoa: Door to Phantomile}}
|Namco
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge
|Lego Software
|
|-
|''Loaded
|Interplay
|
|-
|''Medal of Honor
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''MediEvil
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mega Man Legends
|Capcom
|
|-
|'''''[[Metal Gear|Metal Gear Solid]]
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Miracle Space Race
|Mud Duck
|
|-
|''Mobile Light Force
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mortal Kombat 4
|Midway
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''MTV Music Generator
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Need For Speed: High Stakes
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Need For Speed III: Hot Pursuit
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|[[Obesity|Pizza Hut]] Sampler Disc 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pooh's]] Party Game: In Search of the Treasure
|Disney
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack 1
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Summer 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Winter 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''Porsche Challenge
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction
|BAM!
|
|-
|''Puzzle Star Sweep
|A1 Games
|
|-
|''Rally Cross
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director's Cut
|Capcom
|A physical copy
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director’s Cut
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
|Capcom
|A demo disc
|-
|''R-Types
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''R-Type Delta
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''SimCity 2000
|Maxis
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Small Soldiers
|Electronic Arts
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''SnoCross Championship Racing
|Crave Entertainment
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Bionic the Hedgehog|Space Jam]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Speed Racer
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Homos|Spice World]]
|Psygnosis
|
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A physical copy
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro: Year of the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Suikoden
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Superstar Dance Club: #1 Hits
|XS Games
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''{{w|Tekken 2}}
|Namco
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!
|Activision
|
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Vandal Hearts
|Konami
|
|-
|''V.I.P.
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense
|Activision
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
|Williams
|
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|}

====PlayStation 2 (PS2)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 105
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 106
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 107
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 108
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 109
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 110
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 111
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 112
|Sony
|
|-
|''Aeon Flux
|Majesco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] - Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
|Midway/[[Adult Swim]] Games
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Britney Spears|Britney's]] Dance Beat
|THQ
|
|-
|''Crash Nitro Kart
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Vivendi Universal
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Crash [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Twinsanity]]
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
|Konami
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Dark Cloud
|Sony
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''EyeToy Play
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''[[Family Guy]] Video Game!
|2K/Fox
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 2. Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Fatal Frame
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto 3
|Rockstar Games
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]].
|-
|'''''[[Guitar Hero]]
|RedOctane
|Attempted to sell on eBay in August 2008.
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero II
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks The 80s
|RedOctane
|
|-
|''The Guy Game
|Gathering
|This game was pulled from print after it was found that one of the models who [[Mass debating|flashed the camera]] was [[Pedofork|only 17]]. Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''InuYasha: The Secret of the Cursed Mask
|Bandai
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Jak X: Combat Racing
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 10
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 11
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 14
|Sony
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Volume 3
|Konami
|
|-
|''{{w|Kingdom Hearts (video game)|Kingdom Hearts}}
|Square Enix
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''{{w|Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil}}
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marc Eckō's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure|Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]
|Bandai
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2
|Sony
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|PSUnderground Summer Sampler
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rygar: The Legendary Adventure
|Tecmo
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Sega Superstars
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection Plus
|Sega
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur III
|Bandai/Namco
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5: Special Edition
|Sega
|
|-
|''Taiko Drum Master
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Tekken Tag Tournament
|Namco
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|'''''[[Transformers]]
|Atari
|Listed on Facebook Marketplace in March 2018.
|-
|''Unreal Tournament
|Infogrames
|
|}

====PlayStation 3 (PS3)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''3D Dot Game Heroes
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Age of Booty
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Altered Beast
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ape Escape (Playstation Move)
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Aquatopia
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core 4
|Sega
|
|-
|''Astro Tripper
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Back to the Future: The Game
|Telltale
|Both the disc version and the downloadable version
|-
|''Band Hero
|Activision
|
|-
|''Battle Fantasia
|Aksys
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[100 2269|The Beatles: Rock Band]]
|MTV Games
|
|-
|''Beat Sketcher <ref>[[:File:BeatSketcher20101012.png]]</ref>
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bejeweled 3
|Popcap
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bionic Commando (2009)
|Capcom
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2010
|-
|''Bionic Commando Rearmed
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bioshock
|2K Games
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blade Kitten
|Atari
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blast Factor
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $8 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blokus
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle
|Relentless Software
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Blur (video game)|Blur (Video game)]]
|Bizarre Creations
|
|-
|''Bomberman Ultra
|Hudson Soft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Borderlands
|2K Games
|
|-
|''Braid
|Number None
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[Brutal Legend|Brütal Legend]]'''''
|Electronic Arts
|Chris's 50th physical acquisition for the PS3. Purchased from Best Buy in October 2009.
|-
|''BurgerTime World Tour
|MonkeyPaw Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn
|Pinnacle
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burnout Paradise
|Electronic Arts
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $67 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Monster Rally
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Robo Jam
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz TV
|Sony
|Approximately $31 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz World
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2010
|-
|''Calling All Cars
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Catherine]]
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Championship Sprint
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
|Atari
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2010
|-
|''Comet Crash
|Pelfast
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Comix Zone
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Costume Quest
|THQ
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crash Commando
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crescent Pale Mist
|Rockin' Android
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Critter Crunch
|Capybara Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Cuboid
|TikGames, LLC
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Dark Sector
|D3 Publisher
|
|-
|''Dead Space
|Electronic Arts
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice
|NIS America
|Approximately $65 spent on DLC.
|-
|''DuckTales: Remastered''
|Capcom
|*FC* - [[May 2017]] - $15.00 - Chris bought this shortly after buying ''The Disney Afternoon Collection'' for the PS4, even though the original version is included in that pack.
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Burst Limit
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Chandler cats|Droplitz]]
|Atlus
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
|Bethesda
|"Game of the Year Edition"
|-
|''Elefunk
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Enchanted Arms
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''[[The Eye of Judgement]]
|Sony
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Fairytale Fights
|Playlogic
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''[[Family Guy|Family Guy]]:Back to the Multiverse
|Activision
|
|-
|''Fallout: New Vegas
|Bethesda
|
|-
|''Far Cry 2
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Obesity|Fat]] Princess
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''flOw
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Homo|Flower]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Folklore
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fret Nice
|Tecmo
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Frogger Returns
|Konami
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Giant Enemy Crab|Genji: Days of the Blade]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Go! Puzzle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $12 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[God of War]] III
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto IV
|Rockstar Games
|
|-
|''Gravity Crash
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Green Day: Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|Interestingly enough, their frontman is a [[homo]].
|-
|''GripShift v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Gauntlet II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 5
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Aerosmith
|RedOctane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Hits
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Metallica
|Activision
|Likely pre-ordered at [[Best Buy]], who added a set of [[Rollin' and Trollin'|tattoo sleeves]] as a bonus gift.
|$59.99
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Van Halen
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero World Tour
|RedOctane
|
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hail to the Chimp
|Game[[Duck|cock]]
|
|-
|''Hamilton's Great Adventure
|Fatshark
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hannah Montana: The Movie
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''Heavenly Sword
|Sony
|
|-
|''Heavy Rain
|Sony
|
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The House of the Dead III
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''inFamous
|Sony
|
|-
|''Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao
|Bandai Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Jak and Daxter Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jeopardy!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Joust
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Killzone 2
|Sony
|Approximately $6 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lair
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Last Guy
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The Lego Movie Videogame
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Lego Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Lemmings
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''LIMBO
|Playdead
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Linger in Shadows
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|Approximately $98 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 2
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 3
|Sony
|
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mainichi Issho
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Ultimate Alliance
|Activision
|
|-
|''Mega [[JERKS|Man]] 9
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mega Man 10
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mesmerize
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Story Mode''
|Telltale/Mojang
|
|-
|''[[Sonichu's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|'''''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Monster Madness: Grave Danger
|South Peak Interactive
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat (2009)
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Motorstorm
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Motorstorm RC
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mushroom Wars
|Creat Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Novastrike
|Tiki Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Nucleus
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PAIN
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $41 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PAYDAY: The Heist
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Shooter
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Piyotama
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale
|Sony
|
|-
|''Q*Bert v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampage
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampart
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank Future: [[Fuck Quest|Quest for Booty]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rayman 3 HD
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Red Faction Guerrilla
|THQ
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2010
|-
|''Resident Evil 5
|Capcom
|Purchased from Best Buy in September 2010
|-
|''Resistance: Fall of Man
|Sony
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 3
|-
|''Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Band 2
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Revolution
|Konami
|
|-
|''Saints Row 2
|THQ
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone
|Telltale Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''SAW
|Konami
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars Tennis
|Sega
|
|-
|''The Simpsons Game
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Siren: Blood Curse
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Snakeball
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)
|Sega
|Approximately $7.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Unleashed
|Sega
|Approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] IV
|Bandai Namco
|"Premium edition"; approximately $33.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur V
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 3
|Activision
|"Collector’s edition"
|-
|''Stranglehold
|Midway
|"Collector’s edition"; approximately $15 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[CWC Fighter|Street Fighter IV]]
|Capcom
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Stuntman Ignition
|THQ
|
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super [[Mass debating|Rub a Dub]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Stardust HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars
|Psyonix
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
|Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Tekken Hybrid
|Namco
|
|-
|''Timeshift
|Sierra
|
|-
|''Toy Home
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $7 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
|Activision
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Transformers: War for Cybertron
|Activision
|Purchased from Best Buy in January 2011
|-
|''Trash Panic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
|Sony
|
|-
|''UNO
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''WipEout HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D
|Activision
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''X-Blades
|SouthPeak Games
|
|-
|''Zen Pinball
|Zen Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|}

====PlayStation 4 (PS4)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Bendy and the Ink Machine
|Rooster Teeth Games
|
|-
|''Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back
|UFO Interactive Games
|
|-
|''Burnout Paradise: Remastered
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Call Of Duty: Black Ops III
|Activision
|
|-
|''Destiny
|Sony
|
|-
|''Disney Afternoon Collection''
|Capcom
|*FC* $20.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Freedom Planet''
|GalaxyTrail
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams - Director's Cut''
|Black Forest
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''inFAMOUS Second Son
|Sony
|
|-
|''Journey
|Sony
|
|$14.99
|-
|''Killzone Shadow Fall
|Sony
|
|-
|''Knack
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Dimensions
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Lego Worlds''
|WB Games
|*FC* - [[March 2017]] - Chris used profit from selling his father's stamp collection to buy this on its 7 March release date for $30.
|-
|''LittleBigPlanet 3
|Sony
|Chris bought this game before acquiring a PS4.
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Set 2''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Minecraft: Story Mode''
|Telltale/Mojang
|
|-
|''My Universe: [[Pregnant Act|My Baby]]''
|Microids
|
|$29.99
|-
|''PaRappa the Rapper Remastered''
|Sony
|*FC* $15.00 - [[May 2017]]
|-
|''Paw Patrol: Grand Prix''
|Outright
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol: On a Roll!''
|Outright
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls''
|Outright
|
|$39.99
|-
|''Paw Patrol World''
|Outright
|Your guess is as good as ours as to why Chris purchased and played multiple games based off a show meant for preschoolers.
|$39.99
|-
|''The Playroom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Pure Chess''
|Ripstone
|*FC* $8.00 - [[April 2017]]
|-
|''Sonic Forces
|Sega
|*FC* $39.99 - [[November 2017]]. Chris also bought this for Xbox and Nintendo Switch
|-
|''Skylanders Swap Force
|Activision
|
|-
|''Skylanders Trap Team
|Activision
|
|-
|''TRANSFORMERS: Devastation
|Activision
|
|-
|''Yu-Gi-Oh: Legacy of the Duelist
|Konami
|
|-
|}

====PlayStation Portable (PSP)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Ape Escape Academy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Escape ~ On the Loose
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Quest
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core: Formula Front - Extreme Battle
|Agetec
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury - Blazin' Trails
|Sony
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury Pro
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Beats
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Fuck quest|Brooktown High]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Bust-A-Move Deluxe
|Majesco
|
|-
|''BUZZ! Master Quiz
|Sony
|
|-
|''Carol Vorderman's Sudoku
|Secret Stash
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Vivendi Universal Games
|
|-
|''Darkstalkers Chronicle - The Chaos Tower
|Capcom
|Chris's 50th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|''Daxter
|Sony
|
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $5 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Every Extend Extra
|Buena Vista Games
|
|-
|''EXIT
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Frogger: [[Slow-in-the-minds|Helmet Chaos]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gangs of London
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gangs Of London
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus Special Edition: Battle of Attica
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in December 2009
|-
|''Gripshift
|Red Mile
|
|-
|''Guilty Gear Judgement
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Gunpey
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Gurumin - A Monstrous Adventure
|Mastiff
|
|-
|''[[Harvey Birdman Commercial|Harvey Birdman]] - Attorney At Law
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Hot Pixel
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Recycling|Infected]]
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Cwcville|Kingdom of Paradise]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Stars Wars II: The Original Trilogy
|LucasArts
|
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Locoroco
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines II
|Buena Vista Games
|
|-
|''Mercury Meltdown
|Ignition
|
|-
|''Mind Quiz
| Ubisoft
|
|-
|''MLB 07: The Show
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam - Battle Royale
|Bandai Namco Games
|A Japanese import
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|Purchased from Best Buy in July 2010
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Autism|PQ Practical Intelligence Quotient]]
|D3
|
|-
|''Puzzle Challenge Crosswords and More
|Crave
|
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank: [[Duck|Size Matters]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rock Band Unplugged
|MTV Games
|Purchased from Best Buy in October 2009
|-
|''Sampler Disc for PSP Vol.1
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy]] Vs. the Red Baron
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals
|Sega
|Chris's 25th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals 2
|Sega
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Extreme
|Taito
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Tekken: Dark Resurrection
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''The Con
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Fridays After Five|Ultimate Block Party]]
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''WipEout Pure
|Sony
|
|-
|''WTF: Work Time Fun
|D3 Publisher
|
|}

====Universal Media Disc (UMD) Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Ah! My Goddess the Movie
|Geneon
|
|-
|''Christmas with the Kranks
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Creature Comforts: The Complete First Season
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy]]: Freakin' Sweet Collection
|Fox
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fun with Dick and Jane
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Into the Blue
|Sony/Columbia/MGM
|
|-
|''Lords Of Dogtown
|Sony/Columbia/TriStar
|
|-
|''National Lampoon's Animal House
|Universal
|
|-
|''[[Some Favored Comedians|Saturday Night Live]] Collection - The Best of [[Obesity|Chris Farley]]
|Lions Gate
|
|-
|''[[South Park]]: When Technology Attacks!
|Paramount/Comedy Central
|
|-
|''Spider-Man - The New Animated Series: The Mutant Menace
|Sony/Marvel
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Stealth
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''[[Virgin with rage|Superbad]]: Unrated Extended Edition
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition
|New Line
|
|-
|}

====PlayStation Vita (PSV)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Army Corps of Hell
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Azkend 2
|10tons Ltd.
|
|-
|''Big Sky Infinity
|Ripstone
|
|-
|''BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend
|Arc System Works, Aksys Games
|
|-
|''BreakQuest Extra Evolution
|Beatshapers
|
|-
|''Chronovolt
|Playerthree
|
|-
|''Coconut Dodge Revitalised
|FuturLab
|
|-
|''Crazy Market
|The Game Atelier
|
|-
|''Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls
|Spike Chunsoft
|
|-
|''Dead Nation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Deadman's Cross
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Desert Ashes
|Arcade Distillery
|
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Detention
|Nippon Ichi Software
|
|-
|''Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock
|BBC Worldwide
|
|-
|''Dokuro
|Gungho Online Entertainment
|
|-
|''Draw Slasher
|Mass Creation
|
|-
|''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Ecolibrium
|Sony
|
|-
|''Escape Plan
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fat Princess: Piece of Cake
|Sony
|
|-
|''Flame Over
|Laughing Jackal
|
|-
|''flOw
|ThatGameCompany, Sony
|
|-
|''Flower
|Annapurna Interactive, Sony
|
|-
|''Flying Hamster HD
|The Game Atelier
|
|-
|''Foosball 2012
|Grip Games
|
|-
|''Freedom Wars
|Sony
|
|-
|''Frobisher Says!
|Sony
|
|-
|''Get Off My Lawn
|Digital Leisure
|
|-
|''Gravity Rush
|Sony
|
|-
|''Home
|Benjamin Rivers
|
|-
|''Hotline Miami
|Devolver Digital
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hustle Kings
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart
|Idea Factory, Compile Heart
|
|-
|''Hyperdimension Neptunia PP
|Idea Factory, NIS America
|
|-
|''Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed
|Idea Factory, Compile Heart
|
|-
|''Jetpack Joyride
|Halfbrick Studios
|
|-
|''Killzone: Mercenary
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Fan visits|Knock-Knock]]
|Ice-Pick Lodge
|
|-
|''Legends of War
|Slitherine Ltd.
|
|-
|''LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes
|Feral Interactive, WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO [[Harry Potter]]: Years 5-7
|Sony
|
|-
|''LEGO Legends of Chima
|WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO Ninjago: Nindroids
|WB Games, TT Games
|
|-
|''LEGO Ninjago: Shadow of Ronin
|WB Games
|
|-
|''LEGO The Lord of the Rings
|Feral Interactive, WB Games
|
|-
|''Lemmings Touch
|Sony
|
|-
|''Limbo
|Microsoft, Playdead
|
|-
|''Little Adventure on the Prairie
|
|
|-
|''[[BlueSpike|Little Deviants]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''LittleBigPlanet Vita
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines Electronic Symphony
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]] [[Ohio trip|Roadtrip]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat
|Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
|
|-
|''MotorStorm: RC
|Sony
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Plants vs. Zombies
|Popcap
|
|-
|''Pinball Arcade
|FarSight Studios
|
|-
|''Pinball Heroes Complete
|Sony
|
|-
|''Pure Chess
|RebelPlay
|
|-
|''PulzAR
|Sony
|
|-
|''Rayman Origins
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Reality Fighters
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ridge Racer
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Resistance: Burning Skies
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
|Sony
|
|-
|''Star Wars Pinball
|Zen
|
|-
|''Sumioni: Demon Arts
|AQUIRE
|
|-
|''Super Stardust Delta
|Sony
|
|-
|''Table Top Tanks
|Sony
|
|-
|''Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
|Drinkbox
|
|-
|''Touch My Katamari
|Bandai Namco
|
|-
|''Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Uncharted: Golden Abyss
|Sony
|
|-
|''Unit 13
|Sony
|
|-
|''A Virus Named TOM
|Misfits Attic
|
|-
|''Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward
|Chunsoft/Aksys/Rising Star
|
|-
|''Welcome Park
|Sony
|A tutorial game that comes with the Vita
|-
|''WipEout 2048
|Sony
|
|}

===Microsoft===
Despite Chris's avowed hatred of da [[HEXBox]] 360, he tried to sell several games for the original Xbox on [[eBay]].<ref>[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]</ref> In November 2017, he casually mentioned his gamertag<ref>https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/</ref> in a Facebook comment.

====Xbox====
Chris listed all of these games for sale on eBay in July 2008, but none of them were sold.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']]
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]''
|Vivendi Universal
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]''
|Gotham
|
|-
|}

====Xbox One====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Aftercharge''
| Chainsawesome Games
|
|-
|''Anthem''
| BioWare, Bioware Austin LLC
|
|-
|''Banjo Kazooie: N n B''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Banjo-Tooie''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|-
|''Crackdown 3: Campaign''
|Microsoft/Sumo
|
|-
|-
|''Dark Souls Remaster''
|From Software, QLOC, Virtuos
|
|-
|''Forza Horizon 4''
|Microsoft
|Drives a custom Sonichu colored Ford Focus
|-
|-
|''Gears of War: Ultimate Edition''
|Microsoft
|
|$39.99 ''($19.99-39.99)''
|-
|''Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice''
|Ninja Theory
|-
|-
|''HALO 5 : GUARDIANS''
|Microsoft
|
|-
|''Jetpac Refuelled''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Kameo''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|[[Life Is Strange]] Season 2 Episode 1
|Dontnod Entertainment, Deck Nine, Feral Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat X''
|NetherRealm Studios
|
|-
|''Perfect Dark''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Perfect Dark Zero''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Rare Replay''
|Microsoft
|
|$29.99
|-
|''Realm Royale''
|Heroic Leap Games
|
|-
|''Shadow of the Tomb Raider''
|Square Enix, Feral Interactive
|
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog 2''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic The Hedgehog 3''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic & Knuckles''
|Sega
|
|$4.99
|-
|''Sonic Forces''
|Sega
|Chris also bought this for the PS4 and Nintendo Switch.
|-
|-
|''Sonic Generations''
|Sega
|
|-
|-
|''Sonic Mania''
|Sega
|
|-
|-
|''Shantae: Half-Genie Hero''
|WayForward Technologies
|
|-
|''Shantae and the Pirate's Curse''
|WayForward Technologies
|
|-
|''Super Lucky's Tale''
|Playful Corp
|
|-
|''Sunset Overdrive''
|Xbox Game Studios
|
|-
|''Thomas Was Alone''
|Mike Bithell
|
|-
|''The Orange Box''
|Valve Corporation, Electronic Arts, EA Bright Light
|
|-
|''Viva Piñata''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-
|''Viva Piñata: TIP''
|Microsoft
|Through Rare Replay
|-

|
|}

===iPhone===
{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''
|Electronic Arts/Fox
|The game itself is free, but Chris has spent plenty of money on in-game purchases.
|Free
|-
|}

===Steam===
Despite Chris's fanboyism towards consoles, Chris has played some games on the PC gaming service Steam. The most interesting listing is ''[[Payday 2]]'': a game the [[Idea Guys]] were obsessed with. Chris's profile on Steam was later set to Private,<ref>https://steamcommunity.com/id/Sonichu1982</ref> although not before a screenshot was taken.

{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Five Nights at Freddy's''
|Scott Cawthon Games
|
|$4.99
|-
|''MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies''
|Compile Heart/Idea Factory
|Influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$14.99
|-
|''Payday 2''
|Overkill/505
|Influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$9.99
|-
|''Portal''
|Valve Corporation
|
|$9.99
|-
|''RAID: World War II''
|Starbreeze/505
|Probably influenced by the Idea Guys.
|$19.99
|-
|''SEGA Mega Drive & Genesis Classics''
|Sega
|Now delisted.
|$39.65
|-
|''Sonic CD''
|Sega
|Now delisted.
|$4.99
|-
|}

{{collapsible|Gallery|<center><gallery>
File:Steam - ChrisChanSonichu - Games - 7Dec2017.png
</gallery></center>}}

===Windows===
{|class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''[[Minecraft]]''
|Mojang
|Listed on Chris's Xbox profile
|
|-
|}

===Commodore===
====Commodore 64====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
!align="left"|MSRP
|-
|''Blue Max
|Synapse
|
|-
|''Blue Print''
|Commodore/Bally Midway
|
|-
|''Centipede
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Charlie Brown ABCs
|Random House
|
|-
|''Defender
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Donald Duck's Playground
|Disney/Sierra
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong
|Atarisoft
|
|-
|''Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival
|Hi Tech Expressions
|
|-
|''Music Composer''
|Commodore
|
|-
|''Music Machine''
|Commodore
|
|-
|''Pitfall!
|Activision
|
|-
|''Pole Position
|Datasoft Premier Arcades/Namco
|
|-
|''Q*bert
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''Sargon II
|Hayden
|
|-
|''Sea Wolf''
|Commodore/Bally Midway
|
|-
|''Tetrad
|Hayden
|
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Blu-ray discs]]
*[[Miyamoto Saga]]
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''
*''[[Sonichu Advance]]''
*''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''
*[[Video games]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv The Excel file] DEAD LINK
*[http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2 Purchases from May 7th onward] ([https://archive.ph/seRMe archive])

{{Money}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Template:PSNTracker

2026-09-12T00:58:08Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]] 
'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''Journey''''' for the [[PS4]]. 
Chris has spent over '''$8596.61''' of [[Monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]! 
Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].
</center>

<noinclude>[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

A Public Announcement for Congress

2026-09-09T01:27:34Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:CWCforprez2012.jpg|thumb|300px|Today [[CWCville]], tomorrow [[United States of America|America]]!]]

'''A Public Announcement for Congress''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The "for Congress" part apparently represents some confusion or misconception, because the video actually consists of a stump speech directed at the American people, outlining the policies Chris would advance if he were President.

== Summary ==

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[Monthly tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob Chandler|senior]] [[Barbara Chandler|citizens]] and [[Inos|the homeless]], while also proposing that taxes be slashed to half of their current rates. In addition, he suggests that all guns should go to the [[jerkops|police]], and the citizenry could only be armed in case of an attack by [[Molvanîa|another nation]] or [[Chris and reality|another planet]].

Though he's billed himself before as a "moderate," most of his prescriptions come from the extremes of the political spectrum: a massive welfare state (extreme left), massive tax cuts (extreme right), restriction on free speech and confiscation of all firearms (extreme in any case, not to mention a violation of both the First and Second Amendments). His stance on gay rights is reasonably moderate, however. [[Homos|Gay people]] would be accepted in his [[CWCVille|Utopian society]], so long as he didn't have to notice that they exist.

In yet [[Twin Falling Towers|another display]] of Chris's patriotism, he calls the [[United States of America|United States]] the United Nations, and refers to it as a city. Whether this is him wanting to expand his control to other nations or a legitimate mistake is unknown.

It's also worth noting that under Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 of the United States Constitution, Chris was ineligible to run for President at the time he made the video, because he was not old enough.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_5:_Qualifications_for_office]</ref>

During his speech, Chris randomly paraphrases the theme songs to ''{{w|Diff'rent Strokes}}'' and ''{{w|The Facts of Life}}'', likely referencing a scene from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Running Mates", where Peter ran for school board president and his speech was just quotes from TV theme songs.

Chris also refers to the Internet as a wireless entity, believing that his tiny WiFi access point has the power to beam his videos across the entire planet.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| ytid = OhqFeTAHCo8
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Politics|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
| next = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
}}

{{quote|I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Dope1.jpg|thumb|CWC [[2008]]]]

Good evening, friends. As your presidential candidate, I will now state how I feel [''Chris makes an odd kicking motion.''], what we can do to improve this, [[United States of America|these nations, these states]]. For one thing, we got so many [[Inos|poor people out on the streets]]. I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have soup beds. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS! So that there would be a bed for every homeless person until they can get back up on their own feet. Also, lower taxes. I will propose [[Monthly Tugboat|lower taxes]], and we shall not have to pay so much. Five percent is okay, but why not two point five percent? And we will not cut off any benefits for the [[Bob|old]] [[Barb|people]]. They are good. And we shall give them plenty of money so they can afford the medications and services to keep them alive, because we do not pay for when we are sick, we pay for our [[Chris and health|good health!]] And we only pay after we're healthy. We're in good health. We pay to stay alive, we do not pay to die.

And, speaking of which, too much [[Sonichu 10|violence]] goes on within these city streets. I will propose only [[gun]] distribution to the official authority, which shall be the post-, which shall be within the [[Jerkops|police departments]]. Nowhere else. And all guns owned by locals, community people, shall be taken away. At least the bullets. When the bullets are necessary, or when there is an outbreak of violence from another [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|nation]] or [[Chris and reality|planet]], then we shall issue the bullets. At all-, at free stations, to be opened immediately. Otherwise we'll send in our special troops. Our [[Chaotic Combo|special force]].

[''A long pause, where Chris becomes visibly agitated.'']

And also [''another pause''], we will be okay to have the gays [''He noticeably grimaces.''] within our community, we will be okay to have the gays within our community. In all states! There will be gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations. I mean, keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody, 'cause mup- the- mag- [[Family Guy|what may be right for you, may not be right for most. For some. You take the good from the bad and then you get an opening statement like mine.]]

[[Chris and reality|People need to appreciate life, so we will not have to face death]]. [[Autism|I lost my train of thought there]], but that's okay. I am only human! We are all human! I am a noble, [[honest]] person. No matter what [[Trolls|e'erbody else]] may say, even on the Internet, and my opponent, [[Clyde Cash|Señor Cachez de Clyyyyde]]. He tells liiies about me! And so do the trolls that have be-trolled me over the Internet. Their jeers, and non-cheers, do not go appreciated. Because it is not everybody who can take a joke. Even when it's at their own expense.

And with that, I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, [[Wikipedia:Big Brother (Nineteen Eighty-Four)|and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters around these United States]]. [[Wikipedia:Macon_Phillips#Political_Career|Any repor-, any troll activity that you may be suspicious of an individual, you report to your local authority]]! And they will tell, and then they will inform the local FBI station within that state. And then they will investigate thoroughly! Over the wireless that is called the Internet! And they will [[Wikipedia:Simple_Mail_Transfer_Protocol#Security_and_spamming|trace the e-mails back to the origin home address or location]]. And they will be apprehended and fined or sentenced, depending on how CRUEL they are to the [[Alec|victim]].

I stand strong, I stand firm, I AM A NOBLE LEADER! And if I am elected, I will do my best to keep our America strong and sound, and not go down the drain. I'm sorry, [[Obama]], I did vote for you, but [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|I gotta agree with my father]], you are bringing us, somuss- some of the situations downhill. But I have nothing against you because I did vote for you. And I liked your documentary on A&E. I would [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|shake your hand]] at the first opportunity I would to meet you, Mr. President.

And thou- er- fore, I shall conclude my opening statement. In the candisacy of the President, I say, I will do my best! And I am not lazy! Thank you.

This ad is not real. I'm not being, going to be elected President, but I tell the truth nonetheless of what I would do if I were to become President. Thank you.

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Vitameatavegamin]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Public Announcement For Congress}}

{{PoliticalVideos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

Chris and negligence

2026-08-28T01:17:05Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{incomplete}}

[[Image:Please,_Donate_(720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, begging for money in his toy-stuffed room, October 2016.]]

{{Quote|Ah, yeah. Big price items. '''PLEEEEASE PLEASE''' buy those now so I can get. This. Car. Worked. On. Right. Now. '''ToDAYYYYYYYY'''!|Chris, [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP|after going well over a full year without an oil change]]<ref>[[Son-Chu#Ford Focus]]</ref>}}

Merriam-Webster defines '''negligence''' as [https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/negligence|"failure to exercise the care that a reasonably prudent person would exercise in like circumstances" ]. A negligent person frequently finds themselves in trouble caused by their own inability to identify a problem and deal with it properly. Chris is in no short supply of negligence, and it frequently leads to him [[Trolls#Chris the troll|trolling himself]].

==Examples of Chris's negligence==

There are several examples of Chris's negligence that have negatively impacted himself, his family, his community, and his fans. The effects of his negligence have ranged from [[Chris's room|letting his room go]], to [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|getting his eBay banned]], to even possibly [[2014 house fire#Actual Timeline of Events|burning down his own house]]. Chris's failure to properly deal with problems often leads him into tricky situations that bring humorous responses. A significant portion of Chris's content can be attributed either directly or indirectly to his negligence.

===Vehicles===
[[Image:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's car after backing into a big rig in April, 2021.]]
[[Image:Totem_after_CWC_1.jpeg|thumb|The box Chris shipped the [[Sonic Totem]] in, in all its scotch-taped glory.]]

Chris has a long history of vehicular struggles. His first car, the [[Son-Chu#Ford Escort|original Son-Chu]], went through horror as it was revealed in October 2010 that he went well over a year without changing the oil.<ref>[[DayOut]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, the car didn't last much longer. Fast-forwarding to July 2018, it became clear that Chris failed to learn his lesson; in [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP|a begging video]], Chris revealed that his 2010 Ford Focus was heating up and wouldn't start. Despite fans sending him money to get the car fixed, it died three months later. It was reported by [[The Captain]] that the car's engine was permanently broken. Being that the car had only clocked up 110,000 miles, it's likely that Chris's neglect was the cause of its untimely demise.

In 2021 a fan snapped a picture of the fourth iteration of [[Son-Chu]] in the wild, featuring a dented rear door and smashed rear windshield with a plastic covering. Another fan texted Chris, asking about the damage done to the van. Chris responded, revealing that he had backed into the trailer of a big rig.

===Finances===
{{Main|Chris and money}}

Beginning in 2014, Chris took to eBay as a means to supplement his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]]. Capitalizing on his internet legacy, Chris began producing Sonichu [[medallions]], [[Sonichu Amiibo|custom Amiibo]], [[commissions]], [[autographed photos]], [[2014-2015_Sales_Listings#Bob.27s_Straduarius_Violin|family heirlooms]], [[Sonic Totem|Relics of Fail]], and several other items. Almost as soon as Chris started ramping up his eBay presence, buyers began complaining. On eBay, feedback is incredibly important. Anything short of 90% positive feedback is considered very poor, and if enough complaints are levied against a seller, eBay will take action. Chris struggled to maintain an 85% positive feedback percentage. Many buyers complained that Chris was taking too long to ship items, of items coming in broken due to faulty packaging, or of outright not receiving purchased items altogether. One buyer even reported being sent "an empty envelope" after purchasing a bootleg Pokemon game from Chris in [[March 2018]].

These complaints levied against Chris frequently caused his PayPal to become frozen, preventing him from pulling funds out. This enraged Chris, and resulted in him getting into scuffles with various buyers. One notorious example was when a buyer, referred to as [[Medallions#The_Mr._Smith_Situation|Mr. Smith]], opened up a dispute after Chris failed to make and ship a Sonichu medallion and commission within the specified two-week period, resulting in Chris's PayPal getting frozen. In response, Chris [[dox]]ed the buyer on Facebook. Chris then proceeded to send an [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris%27s_Commission_to_Mr._Smith_(compressed).jpg art of an exasperated Sonichu] along with an [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg angry-eyed Sonichu medallion]. The buyer, refusing to lift the dispute until Chris sent the item described in the listing, eventually received a proper Sonichu medallion along with a full refund from eBay. Chris's eBay exploits eventually came to an end in [[June 2019]], as [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|eBay finally restricted his account]] after years of complaints.

In [[2015]], Chris began using [[Etsy]] as an alternative to eBay, after breaking the site's rules too many times. Things went as per usual, until Chris purchased a [[PS4]] in [[March 2016]], which sucked his attention away from his Etsy orders, and led to him ignoring several of them, often for months. This caused his Etsy shop to be eventually shut down in [[June 2016|June]]. Chris would return to Etsy in [[2020]] with the help of [[Praetor]], but the quality of his shipments and items haven't improved much.

===Art===
{{main|Chris and art}}

Chris has always viewed [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the [[Sonichu (comic)|series he headlines]] as his pride and joy, but to call his updates infrequent or inconsistent is an understatement. While personally attributing his slipshod schedule to the idea that his inspiration 'comes in and out' - which, on the surface, is something that does affect those with creative persuasions - Chris has been known to go vast lengths of time without any news on the progress of his work. The most glaring example of this was ''[[Sonichu 11]]'', a book first mentioned and conceived in 2009, that was effectively abandoned twice over the staggeringly long course of its production: once in 2010 the wake of the infamously divisive ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', and again five years later, shortly after Chris summoned up the willpower to dust off his work and after he was paid to produce more pages by two separate parties, a delay that lasted two more years with little in the way of clear explanation. ''Sonichu 11'' was finally completed in 2017, ''eight years'' after he started working on it.

In the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga, over the course of numerous [[Alec Benson Leary calls|phone calls]], Alec frequently took Chris to task for his lack of consistent work ethic - in particular, he emphasized the importance of keeping to a schedule to maintain a constant level of external interest in his output. There, he attributed his diminished productivity to the existence and pressure of outside stressors. More specifically, he pinned the blame for his creative drought on the existence of ads on the [[CWCipedia]], the presence of which proved so troublesome that he couldn't stand to look at them, and hence couldn't use the site to upload his work. This simply proves how easy it is for Chris to be sidelined, or to put off work simply because other factors make him feel vaguely uncomfortable - in the years since, he has often said that he hasn't taken up producing his comic due to the lingering presence of various external factors, all of which can be boiled down to "stress". Another likely reason for this crushing negligence despite Chris's myriad explanations in his lack of timeliness is that ''Sonichu'' isn't a work that's held aloft by any real creative inspiration on his part. Rather, most of the time, it's a semi-autobiographical account of Chris's own life wearing the garb of a nonsensical fantasy realm. While the passing of his father in late 2011 doubtlessly impacted his drive, a combination of factors such as a lack of anything going on in his life, lingering discomfort regarding the events of ''Sonichu 10'' and its perceived violation of his personal imaginary world, and Chris's own enduring laziness - even when paid $1000 with the express purpose of making 100 new pages in mind - have ultimately led to his negligence smothering his creativity.

===House fire===
{{Main|2014 house fire}}

Perhaps among the most consequential events in Christory, many have speculated that the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire at the Chandler residence]] may have been caused indirectly by Chris. According to the person who leaked the fire report, the fire appears to have been caused by a spark from an extension cord running through the bathroom door, of which the plastic coating had been rubbed away. The report seems to corroborate this claim, indicating that the fire started from the downstairs bathroom. Chris had run an extension cord from the bathroom to power a Keurig machine in the hallway, which was plugged in at the time of the fire.<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref><ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> How much of the blame that [[Barb]] shares for allowing the brazen fire hazard to exist, along with the hoard's role in the fire, however, is up for debate.

===Body===
{{main|Chris and health}}

Surprising absolutely nobody, one of the biggest things Chris's negligence has affected is [[Chris and health|himself]]. As mentioned plenty of times on this site, he has shown to not take anything close to good care of his hygiene or diet, no doubt causing various health problems that could potentially endanger his very life. One noticeable example is [[Chris and nutrition|Chris's eating habits]], where he rarely eats vegetables or fruit, and when he does, he usually adds something unhealthy. Also worth noting is his well known lack of showering which, combined with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other factors]], makes him smell horrid.

==Causes of Chris's negligence==

There are several potential causes of Chris's negligence. Perhaps the most apparent cause is Barb's own negligence. [[Tour of Chris's House|Several]] [[Tour of Chris's House II|house]] [[Tour of Chris's House III|tours]] of [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler residence]] shined a light on just how serious her hoarding problem had become. Barb seemed to have little regard for the squalor that she and Chris lived in. The hoard seemed to have started many years ago, but absolutely exploded after the death of [[Bob]], who had at least some awareness of just how much of a dump the Chandler residence was; he even commented on this during the infamous [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] video from August 2009.

Another contributing factor could possibly be Chris's [[ego]]. Chris tends to see himself, and everything he creates, as flawless. In recent years, this developed into an outright [[Messiah complex|god complex]]. It is entirely possible that this perceived flawlessness prevents Chris from being able to acknowledge any mistake he may make, causing problems for him down the road. These problems he encounters only further fuel his victim complex.

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Chris and his ego]]
* [[Chris and reality]]
* [[Chris and the law]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris and...]]

CWC-isms

2026-08-28T00:53:33Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>

{{Protip|Please refrain from using CWC-isms casually when writing articles, as this may make them difficult for newcomers to decipher.}}
One of [[Chris]]'s most notorious features is his strange '''vocabulary''', consisting of a mix of fairly standard words, slang, jargon, and various personal coinages.

Some of these coinages originate from a degree of prudery, likely inherited from his older parents and maintained by his childlike nature. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to [[Honest Content|adult concepts]] directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature.

Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to [[semen]] as "[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|navy]]", because semen sounds like sea men, [[Random-access humor|get it?]] Still others come from Chris's love of manipulating words, especially backwards spellings, {{w|portmanteau}} blends, “verbing” nouns, or liberal use of affixes such as "-ful", "dis-", "mal-", "-ish", or "-er". Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among [[autism|autistics]] (likely since standard language may seem inefficient to explain their thought processes), and you get his so-called '''CWC-isms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

==Primary categories of CWC-isms==
Nearly all CWC-isms belong to one of the four following classes:
# '''CWC-neologism''' - a ''new'' word or phrase, unknown until ''created by Chris''. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#L|Lovehogs]]'', a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
# '''CWC-homonym''' - an ''existing'' word or phrase, to which Chris has given a ''different meaning''. These may be euphemisms, designed to avoid naming (to Chris) offensive things, or else due to Chris confusing an elevated word's meaning. Example: ''[[Duck]]'', for Chris's penis; ''[[CWC-isms#T|telekinesis]]'', used erroneously in place of ''telepathy''.
# '''CWC-archaism''' - an ''obscure'' word or phrase, known in English but seldom used by contemporary Virginians, which Chris has learned somewhere and has ''become characteristic'' for Chris's way of speaking/writing. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#U|Uncouth]]'', a word now rarely used outside the context of formal etiquette, which Chris used to tell people how much of a jerk he perceive they're being to him.
# '''CWC-misspelling''' - only the ''most notable'' of Chris's ''misspellings'', including deliberate re-arrangements: those which are characteristic for Chris's way of writing. Example: ''[[Geinus]]'', what he deems himself to be; ''[[Pmurt]]'' for Donald Trump, 45th and 47th president of the United States. Chris's sporadic, inconsistent use of some [[Catherine|British spellings]] while otherwise using American English can also be considered under this category.



__NOTOC__

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==#==
|-
|

;12-9
[[Image:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|The cover for Sonichu #12-9|thumb|200px]]

<blockquote>
1. ''(numeral)'' A placeholder for the number thirteen.

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly. Chris however used it in lists that exceed 12 items.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1006915844016869377</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has shown on a few occasions to dislike the number 13, due to him deeming it an unlucky number. This phenomenon, referred to as [[wikipedia:Triskaidekaphobia|triskaidekaphobia]], is already a popular superstition in American culture, and this is likely where Chris picked it up. His fear of the number has led to some bizarre effects, particularly in his numbering. A famous example of this unusual numbering shtick is in the 13th issue of his Sonichu comics, which he numbered as "Issue #12-9", in which he used an em-dash in the place of a decimal place. The 12-9 itself is meant to represent a value of "almost 13".</blockquote>

;15 minutes
[[File:15 minutes.jpg|thumb|200px|"It takes me fifteen f-yay minutes"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' [[Masturbation]], the amount of time it takes for Chris.

<blockquote> ''Masturbation takes '''Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes'''''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote> ''Self-masturbation is really arduous and annoying. Another '''15 minutes''' down the drain.''<ref name=15min></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris coined this phrase in 2021, using it in chats with the [[Watchmen]] and in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]].</blockquote>

;[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The headquarters of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4-Chan]] trolls in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

<blockquote> ''You will recognize her [?] as your sweetheart because from a fav- from a favor on her half, your internal clock will be restored fully, your enemies of '''4-cent-garbage''' will be vanquished, so you both will live together in peace. Live freely.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Since ED and 4chan were partly responsible for Megan's breakup with him, Chris decided to get payback on the both of them by combining the both of them into an evil corporation in Sonichu, dubbing it "4-cent Garbage".</blockquote>

;7-incher
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A penis which measures seven-inches in length.

<blockquote> ''Good thing we stopped for a pack of condoms; it's too bad the regular-size ones break easily on my '''7-incher'''.''</blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his penis is about 7 inches, which he actually believes is the average length of a penis of an adult male <ref>[[Mailbag 20#Oral doesn't count]]</ref>. Chris has made all kinds of weird euphemisms for just his penis alone such as this one, "ugly growth", and "duck".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==A==
|-
|
;abreast
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' full of; filled with.

<blockquote>''It was not until after saving the city from the forces of Count Graduon and his minions, that she realized her form's new assets. And she was '''abreast''' with delight and glee when she found not the Male Part, but a Vagina!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''In fact, while I am fairly educated about Tribadism and '''abreast''' with theories, I would appreciate some experience with a lesbian or two who knows what she likes to enlighten me better, including on sensual massage and all that.''<ref>[[May_2015_Facebook_posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses this word when discussing feminine anatomy and lesbian sex, evidently because it includes the word "breast". He fails to realize that "abreast" actually means "adjacent" or "across".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/abreast</ref> A possible confusion with the word "abound" or "abundant".</blockquote>

;Adult Swim
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing [[Honest Content|adult content]].

<blockquote>''She still has a great drawing style, even for the '''Adult Swim''' section."<ref>[[CWCSonichu-NightStar2891 DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block ''[[Adult Swim]]''. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him. Note that the Cartoon Network block does not feature pornographic content.

</blockquote>

;adulterous
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Of an [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|adult]] and mature nature

<blockquote>''Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered '''adulterous'''.''<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: usually used to describe people who [[Ivy|cheat]] on their [[Blanca Weiss|partners]] (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word.

2. ''(adjective)'' Insult of unclear nature
<blockquote>''Heeeeey, folks! It's me, [[Clyde Cash]]. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an '''adulterous''' foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet!''<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking [[PandaHalo]] from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry than adultery. Perhaps influenced by the verb ''adulterate''.

</blockquote>

;among which
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Among other things. Et cetera. Also. Additionally

<blockquote>'''''Among which''' I can project myself to (the Ninja Turtles universe)''<ref>[[Count Dankula#More CWCville (19:55-42:18)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Autism|Uncertain]]. Chris adopted this phrase and began using it heavily in a number of different contexts through-out 2018. Perhaps the clearest example of Chris's over-use of "among which" is the [[Dankula|Count Dankula interview]], where Chris uses the phrase no less than ten times.

</blockquote>

;an' anurr thing
<blockquote>
1. ''(Phrase, transitionary)'' Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk.

<blockquote>''An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. '''An' anurr thing''', I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!!''<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry.

</blockquote>
;[[Anaxis bird]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Signifies that [[Anaxis]] was meant to be a messenger for the information that Chris requested he put in ''A Medium's Guidance''.

<blockquote>
''Perhaps you all may have heard how I came onto this from an '''Anaxis bird'''.''<ref>[[User:Anaxis/Watchmen Source Leaks#"Anaxis Bird"]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: A mangling of the phrase "a little birdie told me", indicating that an anonymous source gave someone a piece of secret information. Because of Chris's misuse of the phrase, the other Watchmen present had come to believe that Anaxis was influencing Chris to write both the [[Affirmations List]] and the [[Lovers Attributes List]].</blockquote>

;[[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]]
[[Image:Anch.PNG|right|thumb|Chris and Sonichu amazed by the Anchuent Prophecy]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Describes anything that is archaic in the ''Sonichu'' canon.

<blockquote>
''Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by '''Anchuent''' Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!''<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris's [[Chris and English|poor grasp of the English language]]. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient".<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref> </blockquote>

;and shit
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items.

<blockquote>''I don't want to believe in labels at all but I mean obviously, tale- the incest fanfics have come true '''and shit'''.''<ref>[[Incest call]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''But, yeah, I did not verbally argue as much growing up, and it took facing the even Toughter Moments since 2000 '''and shit''' for me to actually formulate and speak better self-defenses with what is Truth''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A more profane variant of "and such" (see below). Chris often uses the phrase in unfitting contexts. He may have picked it up from [[Lars]]'s constant usage of the phrase during the 2010 [[Lars Call]].
</blockquote>

;and such
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items; to add to a list.

<blockquote>''At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera '''and such'''.''<ref>[[CWC Blog|Cwcipedia captain's log, 25 November 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously.
</blockquote>

;anthropological
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' human-like, anthropomorphic.

<blockquote>''In dressing myself for the burial work, I saw Snoopy had merged with his '''anthropological''' self-counterpart on the C-197 half of the veil.''<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>

;acquisition
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A charge or allegation of wrongdoing.

<blockquote>''NO! MORE! Of those stupid '''acquisition''' messages!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A {{w|malapropism|malaprop}} of "accusation".
</blockquote>

;artery

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' art.

<blockquote>''Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand '''artery'''.''<ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix, and that "artistry" also exists.
</blockquote>

;as such

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' In the manner previously described.

<blockquote>''They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me '''as such'''.''<ref name=FatherCall>[[Father Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either tacking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent.
</blockquote>

;ass burgers

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' [[Asperger's Syndrome]]

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly, as Chris instead alludes to it as "a bad cut of cow meat".</blockquote>

Origin: Since the CWCipedia Saga, Chris has been noted for disliking Asperger's Syndrome, viewing it as something that makes autistic people look bad due to the term vaguely sounding like "ass burgers". Chris has alternatively suggested the term can also sound like "something that can be picked nasally", aka "ass boogers".
</blockquote>

;ass manager
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either a misspelling or a derogatory term for "assistant manager," based on the abbreviation "ass. manager."

<blockquote>''I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.''<ref name=ShitMeetFan>[[December 2014 Facebook Posts#Shit, Meet Fan]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has only used this term once, when referring to the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]. It's unclear if this was a misspelling or [[Manajerk|yet]] [[Jerkop|another]] childish insult based on someone's job title.</blockquote>

;[[Attraction Location|attraction location]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any passing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward.

<blockquote>''Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an '''Attraction Location'''.''<ref name=CurrentDays>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciting himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women.</blockquote>

;attraction time

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The time that is spent at an attraction location

<blockquote>''Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my '''attraction time'''''.<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;audio-sonic feeling

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the arousing feeling caused by getting hit by sound waves

<blockquote>''Here is a most '''audio-sonic feeling'''. While at the club last night, the [[Chris and music|music]] was loud, maybe reverberating or echoing. The music and beats literally shook up my rack! I actually Felt the music playing and reverbing within my breasts, almost like my breasts had become a pair of speakers. It Felt Amazing and Arousing!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Manboob Tunes]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As shown in the quote above, Chris believed that he was sexually aroused when sound waves hit him. In actuality, sound, a vibration,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sound</ref> creates pressure. The louder the sound, the more pressure gets created from the wave. Therefore, very loud music should be able to hit Chris given that he's a [[obesity|huge target]], creating that "arousing" feeling, which is actually an alternation between high and low pressures.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== B ==
|-
|

;B-dog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Derogatory epithet for women.

<blockquote>''Then that [[Mary Lee Walsh|'''B-Dog''']] ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Childish censorship of the word "bitch"; bitch also meaning "female dog". [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is implied to say this in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when she shouts "BEEE..!!!" at [[Silvana]].<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_8/Page_95|Issue 8 Pages 94-95}}</ref>
</blockquote>

;bally
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' round; having the texture of a perfectly round ball.

<blockquote>''I've always given her a "'''Bally'''-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: If one didn't know Chris was referring to his dog, Patti, and that he gives her a "Bally-scratch" on the head, one might conclude that he's fondling someone's genitals. Chris, [[CWC-isms#N|naive]] to how suggestive this sounds, gave this special kind of petting the name "Bally-scratching" because of how stroking her head felt like he was squeezing a rubber ball.</blockquote>

;Be Woman
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Be '''a''' woman.

<blockquote>''I am a Lesbian Transwoman; I am not confused or mentally ill about that; '''I Am Woman.'''''<ref>[[March 2017 tweets#Proud_to_be_a_feminist]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? '''She Is Woman'''; she would Never Revert Back.''<ref>[[NightStar2891_tweets#She_is_woman]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used regularly when Chris asserts his [[Tomgirl|transgender identity]], notable for the consistent lack of a proper article and capitalization of each word in the phrase. Originally only attested in the first person ("I Am Woman"), a post on Chris's [[Miss Night Star]] Twitter sockpuppet account uses the third person ("She Is Woman"). Technically first appears in [[Sonichu 8]] when [[The Incredible Lioness]] attacks [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], as the somewhat cliché musical reference [[wikipedia:I Am Woman|"I am woman, hear me roar!"]], which may have inspired Chris's broader use of the phrase. This could be a reference to the Bhagavad Gita or Oppenheimer ("Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.") [[honor roll|but this is unlikely]].
</blockquote>



;Bigfoot hunts
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of taking photos of Chris when you spot him in public.

<blockquote>''I've had it with those shutterbug...Bigfoot hunts imposed upon me because ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!<ref>[[C-Log 03182026]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in C-Log 03182026, where Chris complains about sightings of him being posted online, all while inadvertently comparing himself to a [[Obesity|big]], [[Chris and health#Hygiene|smelly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|ape]].
</blockquote>

;[[Biological clock|biological clock]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Wikipedia:Circadian Rhythm|circadian rhythm]]

<blockquote>'''I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking '''biological clock''' as well.''<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although technically not used incorrectly in this context, the phrase "biological clock" is used exclusively for women in their child-bearing years. Possibly a confusion with "internal clock".
</blockquote>

;blangry
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' [[Chris and anger|Angry]].

<blockquote>''Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get '''BLANGRY'''! ''<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Given Chris's belief that he has [[Chris and English|mastered the English language]] and his [[speech impediment]], it's likely he meant to say angry.
</blockquote>

;blue-printed
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Skilled in engineering.

<blockquote>''I like many others, was born a foal; to a '''blue-printed''' Pegasus and a country tomboy earth mare.''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot_20171019-235945_01-png.299275/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris portrayed Bob's Pony Counterpart in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] as an engineer, just like the real [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Due to Chris's limited vocabulary, Chris knew few words to describe Bob's profession. Derived from the word "blueprints", the plans set for the design of a product. </blockquote>

;[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Single; particularly used on women.

<blockquote>''Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a '''boyfriend-free'''-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris’s mission in life used to be to obtain a girlfriend and have sex. However, every chance he thinks he gets, they already have a boyfriend. This has made Chris “fear” girls who already have boyfriends.</blockquote>

;breaking my balls, busting my balls

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Feeling annoyed, teased, and/or nagged by somebody or something.

<blockquote>''Don't do this, you're '''breaking my balls''' here.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just '''busted my balls''' again, you're going to jail.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN/></blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Eric Cartman in an episode of ''[[South Park]]''.
</blockquote>

;Buddha belly
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Excess fat that gives a person a [[obesity|very round appearance]].

<blockquote>''Okay, well, I admit I do have a '''Buddha belly''', but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.''<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

Origin: "[[Wikipedia:Buddha|Buddha]]" is a title given to several legendary figures in [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhism]]. In this case, Chris is making reference to [[wikipedia:Budai|Budai]], who is often known as "Fat Buddha". Chris presumably picked up the phrase from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "To Love and Die in Dixie".
</blockquote>

;bugbears
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Trolls]], [[weens]], and other Chris-related orbiters who make him miserable.

<blockquote>''Freaking CyberBullies!!!!!!! Real '''Bugbears''', they are!''<ref>[[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although the term was originally defined in the 16th century as 'a cause of obsessive fear, anxiety, or irritation.', it was given another definition centuries later to describe a race of hobgoblins [[Wikipedia:Bugbear (Dungeons & Dragons)|made famous]] by ''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''. It's widely believed that Chris picked up the term from ''[[My Little Pony]]: Friendship is Magic'', which depicted these creatures as literal bear-insect hybrids that are first seen terrorizing the ponies.
</blockquote>

;buh bye bay nose
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' but if anybody knows.

<blockquote>''If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose''' the whereabouts of the... [[JERKS|jerk]]... and just happens to be nearby... or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.''<ref>[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A result of Chris’s [[speech impediment]]</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;but during the stone age...
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A rebuttal for something obvious being stated.

<blockquote>''You don’t have to tell me twice! '''But during the stone age...'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|Videobook for Sonichu #2]], the phrase originates from how you need to “tell cavemen twice” over anyone else.</blockquote>

;[[Butt garments|butt garment]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Leaked footage of Chris in a butt garment]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an adult diaper; typically one used to control Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontenence]].

<blockquote>''The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “'''butt garments'''”.''</blockquote>

Origin: To avoid embarrassment from stating that he shits himself constantly, and uses incontinence pads, Chris refers to them as butt garments.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== C ==
|-
|

;C-Log
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Captain's Log.

<blockquote>'''''C-Log''' February 4th, 2010. First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make.''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: For quite some time, Chris has had the habit of abbreviating certain words or phrases that begin with "'''C'''", possibly for [[Chris and his Ego|his name also beginning with "'''C'''"]], as well as to put greater emphasis on the letter C in the words he abbreviates. Other examples of this kind of abbreviation include "C-Mas" and "C-Ville".
</blockquote>

;C-Mas
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Christmas

<blockquote> ''The [[Christmas]] season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the '''C-Mas''' Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, Sonichu and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.<ref>[[Sonichu's_News_Dash#A_Very_Special_Holiday_Chris-chan]]
</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;C Ville (or C-Ville)
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' [[Charlottesville, VA]].

<blockquote>''Look, you're going to back in '''C-Ville''' tomorrow, I can meet you at the McDonalds at Forest Lakes, what time is good for our meeting?''<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Generic term for any city whose name fits the pattern of beginning with "C" and ending with "ville," e.g., [[CWCville]], Charlottesville, etc.

<blockquote>''And when you diss Cwcville you disf- you diss every "'''C Ville'''" within these United States.''<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;[[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]
[[File:CWCtrek1.png|400px|right|thumb|The Autistic Generation]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The classic opening for a vlog video Chris makes to adress the fanbase, which includes the date of production. Replaced in 2015 with "live from home once again".

<blockquote>'''''Captain's Log'''. Stardate: September... 24th, 2008.''<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: One may come to the conclusion that Chris picked up this phrase from Star Trek, however, Chris is neither a fan of the Star Trek franchise, nor has he seen any clips of the show<ref>[[Mailbag_3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_14]]</ref>. It is more likely that Chris picked up the phrase from cartoons like [[Family Guy]], which references Star Trek, considering how much he watched the show religiously.</blockquote>

;carniverous
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' evil, vengeful.

<blockquote>''On today's show, we will take a close-up look at the '''carniverous''' jerkops.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P29.htm</ref></blockquote>Origin: A misspelling of "carnivorous". It is unknown what word Chris meant to use here, but "carnivorous" certainly wasn't it.</blockquote>

;[[china]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Female genitalia

<blockquote>''I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''''<ref>[[CWC's_Second_Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, uncomfortable with directly saying the word "vagina", decided to alter the word to a cutesy, similar-sounding word. Based off of a term for porcelain "china".</blockquote>

;coldest shoulder

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' to rebel.

<blockquote>''Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned '''Coldest Shoulder''' Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred.''<ref>[[April_2012_Facebook_posts]]</ref>

''One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time Manajerks who gives her elders the '''coldest of shoulders'''.''<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the phrase "turning a cold shoulder", a phrase used for the [[Chris and negligence|negligence]] of another person<ref>https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/turn-a-cold-shoulder-to</ref>. </blockquote>

;Come Adore
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A sermon from Chris's religion.
<blockquote>''That's all for now. Be safe and well.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Chan Sonichu.

Commodore Come Adore<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another retarded pun from Chris, specifically based on the [[Commodore 64]].
</blockquote>

;[[Comeuppance|comeuppance]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Male orgasm.
<blockquote>''...I feel my '''comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my [[semen]] is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. (...) And right after I'd given you my first round, my first '''comeuppance''', you would take, you would reach down, and you would take your face away from my penis...''<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' [[Semen]], usually immediately after ejaculation. ''See also: [[CWC-isms#N|Navy]]''
<blockquote>''Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first dosage of my '''comeuppance'''!''<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses the sexual slang "cum" as a [[For Julie's Eyes Only|verb]] for orgasm, but he may not realize it can also be a noun referring to ejaculate. In his mind, "comeuppance" apparently serves that purpose, viz., "that which has come/cum up."

In the real world, "comeuppance" is an English noun meaning [[Wiktionary:comeuppance|outcome which is justly deserved]] based upon the common verb "come," i.e., the state of coming forward to receive judgment. He is either unaware of the original definition of the word or does not appreciate the irony of telling women he's going to give them comeuppance.

Note that the contexts of the real word and Chris's version are different. When a woman is rebuked, she receives her comeuppance; when a woman gets Chris's hot load in her face, she receives ''his'' "comeuppance."
</blockquote>

;count you(r) blessing(s)
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used as a retort when someone complains about the quality of your work.
<blockquote>It’s an early thing; it will improve later on. Curb your enthusiasm and '''count your blessing.'''</blockquote>
Origin: In [[January 2020]] Chris was seen using the phrase when he was attacked after chimping out about being blocked on social media. Recently people have been questioning the quality of the newest [[medallions]], produced by [[Praetor]]. Chris, perhaps in an attempt to "calm the trolls down'' tells them to '''count their blessings''.</blockquote>

;crash into slumber (or crash and burn)
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To get so sad and [[Chris and stress|stressed out]] that you get tired from exhaustion.

<blockquote>And… the void in my heart that requires a sweetheart is open again, and it hurts. I hope you jerks and trolls who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me '''crash… into slumber'''… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of stress and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna crash and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the—uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris famously said that he "crashed into slumber" in the video [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where he shows off how depressed and angry he was with his latest tomfoolery at the time. It could be because that one of Chris's main methods of coping with his stress is to sleep it off, and tried to make it sound hyperbolic by stating that he "crashed" onto the bed, as if he tried to get it done sooner.</blockquote>

;crestfallen
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sad and disappointed

<blockquote>''I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt '''crestfallen''' greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#Graduation]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and '''crestfall'''. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!''<ref name=ShitMeetFan/></blockquote>

Origin: Another obscure word Chris liked to use a lot, even today. It even got to the point where he tried to put it into a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall".</blockquote>

;crooks
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Those who may steal Chris's intellectual property for malicious purposes. ''(pl.)''

<blockquote>''I aways keep my eyes open for '''crooks''' who take my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]'s name and put it in offensive use!''<ref>''[[:File:116-CWCCop.jpg|116-CWCCop.jpg]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' websites, and even words on websites which communicate lies about Chris.

<blockquote>''And that [[ED]] page is one of those crooks. Every page--every word on the discussion page is a '''crook'''.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A finishing move Chris does on his adversaries in order to "curse" them, publicly or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Hmmm...'''Curse-ye-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!'''''<ref>[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to the Kamehameha energy attack from the [[Dragon Ball]] series, performed in the same way it is in the anime. Chris believes that he possesses [[Chris and reality#Magic|magical powers]]. Typically, these so-called magical powers would be used whenever an enemy gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, since Chris is too afraid to actually fight anyone. Therefore, he will rely on this magical power in order to gain control of whoever is giving him trouble.</blockquote>

;CWC-sense
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The ability to sense Chris's presence.

<blockquote> ''Seriously though, awesome timing coming in, just as we, and Chris, had just finished writing the lyrics...was your '''CWC-sense''' tingling?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

;Cwcspirational
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' of or giving inspiration; inspiring

<blockquote>''Thank you, Miss Franklin for that '''Cwcspirational''' Track. :)''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris once used the word in place of inspirational to describe Aretha Franklin's "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== D ==
|-
|

;D.A.
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Unexplained, presumably a substitution to avoid the word "dumbass." Most likely ''not'' "District Attorney," although equally applicable to [[Marvey Blaziken]].

<blockquote>''You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves; nice try, '''D.A.'''''<ref>[[Mailbag 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris intermittently decides to self-censor his profanities for the benefit of younger readers.
</blockquote>

;da
<blockquote>1. ''(article)'' [[Wikipedia:Eye dialect|Eye dialect]] spelling of the word [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/the the].

<blockquote>''Y'all know me as [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta Sonichu]], '''da''' DJ with da power!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], page 43</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris writes "the" as "da" when he intends for his characters (or himself) to sound laid-back and cool. This is most notable with Jamsta Sonichu, who is supposed to sound like a hip radio DJ and/or a [[Chris and race#Black_people|Jamaican man]]. Chris may intend at times to do the same thing in his verbal communications, although his [[speech impediment]] makes it difficult to tell when he actually means to say "da."
</blockquote>

;Da Update
[[File:Daupdate.jpg|thumb|400px|[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], comparing Chris's [[Chris and his ego|attitude]] to [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The latest news.

2. ''(phrase)'' The most recent fail Chris is responsible for.

<blockquote>''Hey, guys! What's '''da update'''?''</blockquote>

Origin: Dialogue used by Chris, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound casual, in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. As Chris's [[fans]] have searched the Internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest [[Relics of Fail|failure]] Chris has committed." The phrase became legendary when posted above the Chris-chan talk page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] (eventually the page was locked, forcing mass migration to the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]).

</blockquote>

;[[Darling|darling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover, even one that shows no affection back at you.

<blockquote>''Thank you, Doopie '''Darling'''. :)<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Thanks, darling]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris, so hellbent on being [[Chris and kindness|kind]] to just about any potential sweetheart he met, thinks it's appropriate to refer to women he doesn't know outside of the internet by pet names to sound like he really cares for them, despite it being creepy to most other people. Chris's main justification for using this word on women who don't bond with him is that the actor [[Wikipedia:Tallulah Bankhead|Tallulah Bankhead]] used this word a lot, ignoring the fact that she only did this while on set and was an attractive woman.</blockquote>

;[[Dating education|Dating Education]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' formal education in schools about dating people of the opposite sex.

<blockquote>''Also, in addition, while we also fully support Sexual Education in every high school, Christian Weston Chandler also highly recommends, and would gladly support, '''Dating Education''' classes, because, while Sex Ed is great for the eventual, well-earned intercourse after 3 or more dates, it is vital to learn what to do before that moment. It should be well0taught how to approach and ask one’s member of the opposite gender out for the very first date.''<ref>[[:File:DatingEducation.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The lack of "Dating Education classes" is something that Chris used to complain about all of the time, because he's simply incapable of finding a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]], and that it would be a great advantage for people of his type to learn how to do so. Chris doesn't understand that a key aspect of obtaining a mate is to develop the proper [[Chris and socialization|social skills]], especially those around [[women]], and that it has very little to do with how much sex he has with them.</blockquote>

;dementia
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A synonym for Chris's [[autism]].

<blockquote>''My brain is blank and, I definitely wouldn't have realized. Word of the day, Dementia. The umbrella term for all the mentally wearing down people, I got some dementia okay? So give me time, give me space, alright? And some slack.''<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;detail
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A thing of importance that Chris cannot recall at any given moment.

<blockquote>''I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print '''details''', much less memorize them.''<ref>[[Wikipedia#May 2009 drama]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' Something that Chris does not understand.

<blockquote>''There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.'' <ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ability to retain information is questionable (unless it's about [[Sonichu (comic)|something]] [[Lego|he]] [[Pokémon|obsesses]] [[PS3|over]]). As such, he "misunderstands" and "forgets" a lot of glaringly important things, such as [[Father Call|how to live on his own]] and [[Jackie E-mails 2|the fact that he cheated on Ivy]].
</blockquote>

;devotee
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An [[enablers|enabler]] of Chris.

<blockquote>''Ah, I believe I have the proper term. Going from "Worshiper", I checked the thesaurus:"'''Devotee'''" in the term sounds better. "Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu"(DoCCS). This is my better educates and thought suggestion." ''<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believing himself to be a goddess, Chris needed a term to refer to any of his followers. The term was originally "worshiper", but then after a quick thesaurus search, he decided to change the term to "devotees", solely because he thought it sounded smarter. Although technically a synonym of "worshiper", the term "devotee" is more often used in Eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism.
</blockquote>

;Did the do, to do the do
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To have sexual intercourse, likely under deceptive conditions

<blockquote>''[[Lovely Weather|Lovely]] was hot. She mistook me for myself and we went home from work that night, so Lovely and I '''did the do''', and it was awesome!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_2|Issue 10 Page 2}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An even more benign variation of the common euphemism for sex, "doing it". Likely taken from [[Wikipedia:Emission_Impossible|an episode]] of [[Family Guy]].
</blockquote>

;dige
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana

<blockquote>''My name's [[Inos]]... wha' chu up to? I am eclectic on this hedge... high on the hog... you wan' som' of this '''dige''', mon?''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_70|Issue 10 Page 70}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended to be part of a coded reference to "Sonichu, Electric Hedgehog Digimon". It is not known why he changed the reference from "Pokemon" to "Digimon".
</blockquote>

;[[dimensions|dimension]]
[[File:Chrisminecraft.jpg|right|thumb|In a universe of multiple realities, anything is possible according to Chris.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either our universe or a fictional one, such as the one in which ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' or ''[[My Little Pony]]'' are set, both held to be equally [[Chris and reality|real]] in Chris's ontology.

<blockquote>''For Our Home World and All other '''Dimensions''', Realities and Worlds; All Of Us! Dance! Dance! Dance!!!''<ref>[[Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Dumbing down some physicists' hypothetical notion of other physical universes embedded in mathematically higher-dimensional space, which has since seeped into pop culture and thence down to Chris.
</blockquote>

;[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Used as a reference to Chris's fecal incontinence.

<blockquote>''I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF '''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS'''.''<ref>[[IRC_(20_January_2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] after they alleged that Chris has a fondness to wear women's underwear. In order to confirm his straightness, he retorted by admitting the fact that he has "NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". Soon after, due to how humorous the phrase sounded, it became a shorthand for trolls to refer to Chris's fecal incontinence.</blockquote>

;disabled of crafting
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Too apathetic to work

<blockquote>''Since last December with the Lulu.com problems (resolved), that has left me with a bad emotional and mental scar. Leaving me feeling '''disabled of crafting'''...''<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Too lazy to work]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris being defensive when a customer asked how he could be trusted to follow through on an order, when he had failed to send out orders from his Etsy shop, which resulted in his seller account getting closed.
</blockquote>

;dispel
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Reject, turn away

<blockquote>''[T]o dispel me is to discriminate against the LGBTQ community as well.<ref>[[Unban_contracts#GameStop|GameStop unban contract]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misunderstanding of the meaning of the word.</blockquote>

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who deserves scorn for creating an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article on you.

<blockquote>He is the '''Dork of Ages'''. Y'all should be sending every last complaint and hatred towards—rain down upon him. Send him every last email you can. Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, [gives a thumbs down] along with him.<ref name=AttentionAll>[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used on [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he created Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page. This phrase was [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|taken]] from the American Dad episode "Dungeons and Wagons", where Hayley called Steve the "Dork of Ages" while he played "Dragon Shuffle".</blockquote>

;Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Backstabber.

<blockquote>''You could be a Better, More Supportive Friend, instead of a '''Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic''' with your sweetheart!!!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Quinn breaks up with Chris again]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre attempt to turn the title of the Adult Swim cartoon, ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' into an insult.</blockquote>

;[[duck]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|An example of a bent duck]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's penis

<blockquote>''MY '''DUCK''' HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially "duck" was taken to be a typo of "dick" since the "u" and "i" keys are close together. It was later revealed that Chris was using this neologism as an intentional euphemism to refer to his own penis.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

''See also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]]</blockquote>

;dyke

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A vagina.

<blockquote>I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In actuality, the word dyke (or dike) refers to an embankment, wall, or ridge built to control or confine water. It is also a derogatory term for [[lesbian]]s, which is somewhat ironic, given Chris's homophobia at the time.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== E ==
|-
|

;elbow-greased
[[Image:Elbow-Greased Strength.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris gets swole]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Earned from hard work and exercise

<blockquote>''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism. It appears in his [[Chris's resume|resume]], where he lists "elbow-greased strength" as one of his "functional skills"''</blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the idiom, "elbow-grease", a figure of speech humorously used for tasks that involve manual labor only. </blockquote>

;[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]''

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the characters found in Sonichu which are hybrids of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] characters and/or Pokemon.

<blockquote>''Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the '''Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon''' on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books.''<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Despite the name, a majority of "Electric Hedgehog Pokemon" are neither Pokemon or hedgehogs. This misnomer may come from Chris's original characters being hybrids of two Sonic characters, both of whom are hedgehogs (Sonic and Amy Rose) and two Pokémon (Pikachu and Raichu).</blockquote>

;emotional differences

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A strong disagreement between two people.

<blockquote>''I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, '''emotional differences.'''''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris mentioned that he got terminated from [[Wendy's]] in the [[Father Call]], due to their "emotional differences", possibly meaning that a heated argument between him and his employer ensued.</blockquote>

;empirical
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' resorting to experience to gain knowledge rather than through scientific means.

<blockquote>''So, throw away the book talk; be '''empirical''' and believe what you know is fact'' <ref>[[October 2012 Facebook posts#Empirical]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris attributed the nearly opposite definition of the word to Jeremy Hilary Boob PhD, a character from ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}''. Considering this, Chris must have picked up this strange definition from the content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.</blockquote>

;entendre

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Charisma or attraction

<blockquote>''Too much '''entendre'''?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Derived from the phrase "double entendre", a figure of speech used for words or phrases with a double meaning, typically [[Duck|with]] [[Mass Debating|one]] [[China|of]] [[Recycling|them]] [[Pickle|being]] [[Comeuppance|risque]].<ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/double%20entendre</ref> In English, the word "entendre" isn't typically used outside of the phrase itself, but in many other languages like French and Catalan, it is understood to mean "to hear" or "to understand". Chris, thinking he knows everything there is to know about the English language, once again thought he would sound smart by using this obscure word.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== F ==
|-
|

;F-yay
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A euphemism for the swear word "fucking".

<blockquote>''For all this time, every single time, [[Mass debating|it takes me fifteen '''f-yay''' minutes]].''<ref>[[Workaholics Anonymous comic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Seen in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]] from [[March 2021]] and again in [[August 2025]].<ref>[[August 2025 social media posts#Decepticlone Punislav... yay]]</ref> The yay comes from Fluttershy's cheer in the [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]] episode Sonic Rainboom, which was a popular meme in the brony fanbase.</blockquote>

;[[Fangs|fangs]]
[[File:Showing_Off_Fangs.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How Chris imagined himself when showing off his canines]]
[[File:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|200px|The reality. The red arrows point to Chris's cavities]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's canine teeth.

<blockquote>''They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like '''fangs''' of a vampire, dog or something to me.''<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Your_understanding_me_fukky_.281_January_2009.29]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I'm not afraid to SHOW MY '''FANGS'''!''<ref>[[CWC_Update_8_January_2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes his teeth to be unordinary compared to most other people's teeth, apparently believing canine teeth are some kind of special trait only a selected few people have. Because he believes his canines to be menacing, he gave them the name "fangs". Once in a while, Chris would show off his decaying teeth to scare his enemies. This usually works, although for the wrong reasons.</blockquote>

;faredoo
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection, imperative verb)'' Parting salutation, akin to "goodbye".

<blockquote>''Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you fond...'''faredoo'''. Adieu. Fond farewell adieu...''<ref>[[The MovingFoward videos]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Accidental portmanteau of "farewell" and "adieu".
</blockquote>

;fart-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb and perverted.

<blockquote>Ha Ha! Take THAT, you '''fart-minded''', jerk [[MALE]] among ALL fart-minded, jerk Males that make up the Majority of the Worldwide Male Population! -:D<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtWQTjXCDs</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the comment section of a Stopmotion Lego animation, where a ''Lego'' minifigure is in a sexual relationship with a ''Lego Friends'' minifigure. Throughout this video, the Lego minifigure essentially acts how Chris believes most men do. At the end of the video, the male minifigure proceeds to fart, which disgusts the female minifigure. Also a possible butchering of the phrase "brainfart", which is used to humorously refer to a moment of absentmindedness.</blockquote>

;firstly
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' A word that indicates that Chris is about to tell someone why he's right. Often not followed by an enumerated list of reasons, despite the implication.

<blockquote>'''''Firstly''', Aspergers is NOTHING Similar to Autism; Aspergers pertains to MEMORY, Autism is Social Skills. and I'm High-Functionally Autistic''<ref name=IRC2January09>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Use of "firstly" to begin a list, rather than "first," is a matter of dispute. While both words exist in the dictionary, "Firstly" has fallen out of common use in speech and tends to sound more formal, perhaps overly so. Chris seems to like this formality, probably because he thinks it sounds smart.
</blockquote>

;French side dish
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A kiss that involves the usage of one's tongue.

<blockquote>''"I LOVE YOU" would be shared daily with a '''French side dish'''.''<ref>[[For My True Love, I Would…]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre take on the phrase "French kiss".
</blockquote>

;fondful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' fond.

<blockquote>''Faithfully yours with '''fondful''' thoughts; Chris Chan.''<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Chris's email to Megan Schroeder]], 06 July 2007</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently doesn't understand that "fond" is already an adjective by itself.
</blockquote>

;for good-like
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' final, but with the imagined possibility otherwise.

<blockquote>''And in June of 2008, he banned me from the store '''for good-like'''.''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails|Chris's email to The Wallflower]], 18 February 2010</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusing modification of "for good".
</blockquote>

;foresee/foretell/foreknow
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To make a wild guess at something occuring, claiming it's a "prediction".

<blockquote>''#Saberspark Is right. This is one reason why I stay clear from certain games and shows. My intuition also senses and '''foresees''' the quality and feel without even having to watch or play it at all''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#Brainrot]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To have predicted something that already happened or that someone else claimed would happen, but didn't.

Origin: Chris claims he has the ability to predict the future, an aspect of his divinity. However, Chris only ever makes these claims whenever an event has already happened, claiming he predicted it would, or when he makes a confident guess at the future based purely on his intuition.
</blockquote>

;foundate
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To dedicate, as in a monument or building.

<blockquote>''I, Christian Weston Chandler, re-'''foundate''' this monument that is the PAGE with MY SOLE HONEST TRUTH from my sound mind and heart.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#Captain.27s_Log.2C_Stardate:_June_6.2C_2009|2=Christian in his Own Words}}.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely a portmanteau of "found" and "dedicate", or a bizarre attempt to convert "foundation" into a verb.
</blockquote>

;four-boomerang-shaped symbol
[[File:Fourboom.jpg|thumb|right|"G'Day welcome to Auschwitz"]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' minced oath for "[[Wikipedia:swastika|swastika]]," especially the ''Hakenkreuz'' symbol of the [[Nazis|Nazi]] Party.

<blockquote>''Like Most People, I do not care much for Adolf; he was a terrible man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his '''four-boomerang-shaped symbol''' (I know what it is called, but I do not wish to type the word).''<ref>[[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|Mailbag 5]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris was apparently afraid to say the word "swastika," probably for the same reason he used to [[Niggos|fear using racial slurs]].
</blockquote>

;fourth wall

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A boundary that separates [[Reality Cartoon|reality cartoons]] and [[Dimensions|dimensions]] from dimension C-197.

<blockquote>''Hey, Everyone. I have another announcement for you all to do now, for yourselves and our OCs: Break Your Own '''Fourth Wall'''.
<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1195039493130199041</ref>''</blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' An abstract force that prevents people from talking to their OC's.

<blockquote>Our OCs in C-197 often break their '''fourth walls''', because they are aware of us, and it is our time and turn to return the favour.</blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the phrase "breaking the fourth wall", a figure of speech humorously used on characters that acknowledge the audience directly, or state their awareness of the media they're in. Chris has taken this to mean that all dimensions in the universe are separated by this kind of barrier, therefore calling them "the fourth wall". In a recent Twitter post, Chris has also stated that this mysterious force is the reason why people cannot see or interact with their OC's, but that the OC's themselves are fully aware of their creators, so will eventually break through the barrier every once in a while to speak to people of other dimensions.</blockquote>

;[[Friend Zone|friend zone]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The dreaded moment a sweetheart rejects you.

<blockquote>''A lot of times, especially if the friend in question is opposite of gender 18 or older, they may have sex on the brain. And when that person hears from you that you just want to be friends, or in the other term, put into the '''Friend Zone''', that person will feel like they failed at getting the sex they wanted, or Ever will from you.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The lousiest excuse a sweetheart could give for not having sex with Chris.

<blockquote>''Nothing has happened in Women's Rights; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Friend Zone refers to a relationship where one person desires romance, while the other only shows interest in friendship. Much like his stance on the Three-Date Rule, Chris believed that the Friend Zone is simply another rule explicitly placed on him by some unspecified authority to slow down his progress on completing his [[Love Quest]]. His belief that this is simply an "excuse" to avoid having sex with him reveals a lot on why he was [[Megan|overly-persistent with]] [[Wallflower|some of]] [[Doopie|his sweethearts]]. He couldn't imagine why any woman would not want to have sex with him, so he came to the conclusion that every woman he stalks are simply unfamiliar with sex and what goes into it.</blockquote>

;[[Fuzzy-wuzzies|fuzzy-wuzzies]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The rewards of giving Chris compliments.

<blockquote>''Compliments will get you '''fuzzy-wuzzies'''.''<ref name=FutureMessage>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Believed to be another example of Chris's random-access humor. May have been derived from an English assignment in [[Manchester High School|high school]], "[[Manchester High Leaks#Warm Fuzzies|Warm Fuzzies for Christian]]".

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|prickly-wicklies]]
</blockquote>

{{clear}}
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== G ==
|-
|

;[[Gal pal|gal-pal]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a female friend.

<blockquote>''And also, I would like to give a shout-out to...Ivy, sweet '''gal-pal''' of mine...and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States!''<ref>[[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris rarely refers to any of his female friends as just "friends", simply because he thinks that all female friends have the potential to be [[CWC-isms#S|sweethearts]] before they're in the dreaded [[Friend Zone]]. Chris also states that due to his autism, this somehow means that he gets along much more easily with girls than with guys. <ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> Although this could be more due to the fact that he overall has had much better experiences with girls than with boys growing up, especially in high school. This has caused him to pick up more [[Transgender|effeminate traits and characteristics]]. The term "gal-pal" is typically used by women when they are talking to other people in their social clique. Chris therefore picked this phrase up from the girls he's talked to (possibly using the phrase because he sees himself as "one of the girls"). It is also common for [[homos]] to use this to refer to their female friends.
</blockquote>
;gawd
<blockquote>
1. ''(interjection)'' eye dialect of "god", Used in the place of "god" when it is used to express annoyance, shock, or pain.

<blockquote>''Life is f***ed up. (I had a real stressful Sunday afternoon) '''Gawd'''! Just... GAWD!!!''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#STRESSFUL SUNDAY. GAWD!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly meant to add dramatic effect to saying "god", which is already used to add dramatic effect.</blockquote>

;gaybian
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a male lesbian.

<blockquote>''Uh... simply put—and I am willing to say this... in sound mind and body: I... am a '''gaybian'''.''<ref>[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only used this word once in the video [[Chris_Comes_Out_of_the_Closet]]. Before this video, [[Clyde Cash]] had threatened to harm [[Julie]] under the condition that Chris refuses to admit that he's gay. Chris being Chris, he had absolutely no idea that he was once again under another elaborate trolling scheme, and had no clue how to handle the situation. Chris thought he could be sly and admit to being gay, while also being attracted to women. Thus, he tacked on the word "gay" onto "lesbian" to create the word "gaybian" so that he can say that he's a "male lesbian", despite this being a complete contradiction within itself.</blockquote>

;geinus
[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|I'M A MAD GEINUS! [[Doctor Robotnik|ROBOTNIK]]! ROBOTNIK!]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a genius

<blockquote>''Robotnik! Robotnik! I'm a mad '''geinus'''! Robotnik, Robotnik!''<ref>[[Sonichu 1]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An accidental misspelling of "genius", this CWC-ism is the result of Chris's ability to spell, or lack thereof. In his futile attempts to spell words with "eni", he substitutes this with "ein", possibly due to his habit of spelling words phonetically.</blockquote>

;get it through your skulls
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Used to clarify something to your fans
<blockquote>''So everybody '''get it through your skulls''', I'm the real deal.'' <ref>[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this term a lot when trying to clarify various misconceptions about him, such as his straightness, and who the real CWC was. Variations of the phrase include "GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS", "Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls!", and "Get through your damn, dirty, stupid, idiotic, immature skulls".</blockquote>

;gitar
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A guitar

Origin: How Chris pronounces the word "guitar".
</blockquote>

;give birth, give the birth
<blockquote>
1. ''(verb)'' To transfer possession of the state of having been born, by bearing as offspring.

<blockquote>''My mother and my father are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only '''gave the birth'''--gave me birth at their ages...which my mother is sixty-six, currently, and my father is currently eighty. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in 1982. They gave me the birth...then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of--for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early [[1980s]].''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to think that a sentence like "Barbara gave birth to Christian" is grammatically equivalent to a sentence like "Barbara gave Go-bots to Christian."
</blockquote>

;GO!
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Having a style similar to the cartoon ''Teen Titans Go!''.

<blockquote>''As MUCH, as I would like to agree; Cute as it may be, it is still '''GO!''' Version, and #GOPony is something we Really do not like.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1211396957203247104</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' Of a descent originating from [[Dimensions|dimension CZ-69]].

<blockquote>''Just; Most '''GO!''' individuals are...NO!!!''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1215833863718567937</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this CWC-ism to describe his distaste for the MLP:FiM spinoff series [[Pony Life]], believing it to be in the same vein as Teen Titans Go! due to its artstyle. He would go around on his [[Twitter]] account spamming Hasbro and/or users showing any interest in the show with some of his TSSSF cards as a means of protest using this euphemism to put it under a bad light.
</blockquote>

;go make a rhyme
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate that he is in a [[Chris and writing|poetic]] mood.

<blockquote> ''Oh, Back Off, '''go make a rhyme'''. Love will come your way in good time.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/913230475774369794</ref> Keep Heart, Have hope and faith. Life is a coinkie-dink strafe. Have an open heart, don’t be afraid. Your sweetie is likely in your friendship parade.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris intended to write a rhyme in order to sound poetic in a tweet, continuing with the rhyming schtick in several subsequent ones. Due to his own laziness, the best Chris could come up with in terms of words that rhyme with "time" is "rhyme".
</blockquote>

;[[Godjesus]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|This is who Chris actually believes in.]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(shorthand)'' God and Jesus Christ.

<blockquote> ''As I have guide, as I was guide [sic] by, uh, God and Jesus. And because I, uh, cheated on Ivy lately, '''Godjesus''' were mad at me, so, even though she r-, even though she requested the recent items of question, sex-, [quietly] sexual stuff--videos and pictures--I am being punished because the trolls are getting their hands on them.''<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And also, who I'd like to thank, '''GodJesus''', our God and our Lord and savior, for their support, for their support as well, I pray to them every day, and I follow, I am guided by Jesus.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris appears to be somewhat aware of the Holy Trinity (Holy Spirit, Son, and Father), the three forms that God takes in mainstream Christianity. Despite accepting Jesus as the son of God, Chris believes that God and Jesus are essentially the same entity. As a result, whenever he mentions God, he is never reluctant to mention Jesus in the same sentence. Because of this, Chris made this CWC-ism as a shorthand of "God and Jesus". This CWC-ism was the primary inspiration for the term "[[Godbear]]" to humorously refer to [[Leonard Bearstein]], who Chris has credited for his name change. Chris now no longer uses his CWC-ism, now referring to both God and Jesus as separate [[OCs]]. Chris now calls God "Emmanuelle".</blockquote>

;grand number of pounds
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Extremely heavy.

<blockquote> ''Note: The chair weighs a '''grand number of pounds'''!<ref>[[Power]]</ref>'</blockquote>

Origin: Used in a video where he tried to prove his strength to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was actually [[Joshua Martinez]], by lifting an office chair.
</blockquote>

;grinds my gears
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate he is annoyed with something.

<blockquote>Firstly, I got your image in my mailbox; while I thank you for your fanart, No Offense, but I do not appreciate Sonichu drawn looking retarded; I feel it '''grinds my gears''' a bit.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In_which_Chris_insults_someone_who_drew_a_picture_for_him]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>Something that '''grinds my gears''' is how people are not accepting of the neutral terms of "darling" or "dear".<ref>[[:File:OpenLetter.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase almost every time he wanted to indicate he was annoyed and not outright [[angry]]. It is believed that Chris has picked up this archaic phrase from [[Family Guy]], specifically from a segment from the show called "What Really Grinds My Gears", where Peter is talking about things that annoy him or "grinds his gears".

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== H ==
|-
|

;hand-drawing
[[Image:Chris holding a pencil.png|thumb|Chris holding a pencil|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An original drawn image, as opposed to a facsimile of that image.

<blockquote>''I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a '''HAND-DRAWING'''! It's the original hand-drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house!''<ref>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To sketch without the aid of digital technology, such as a computer.
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|A non-example made by Chris.]]
<blockquote>''No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the '''hand-drawing''' and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.''<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's process for producing his drawings is to draw them, by hand, on physical paper, and then scan the paper into his computer and use image editing software to add effects like lettering or (for the purpose of breaking the fourth wall) photographs. He takes comfort in the belief that ownership of the original paper drawings is evidence of his authorship and will frequently cite this in defense against perceived thieves and trolls.

Chris also thinks that drawing on a computer instead of paper is an inferior method of producing artwork; he thinks the results look "blocky and low-resolution," which probably speaks more to his [[:File:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg|his own experience using MSPaint]] than the artistic quality of, for example, [[Asperchu]]. The fact that a digital artist like Alec Benson Leary is nonetheless ''using his hands'' does not seem to have occurred to Chris.
</blockquote>

;Haterade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a metaphorical drink consumed by haters.
<blockquote>''Therefore, for all of you '''Haterade'''-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress. <ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Put down the '''Haterade'''; this is not going against any rules, it is just the way it is. Hey! I still have my flaws, so I am definitely Not a Mary Sue type of OC. Also, if I wanted a shot glass of '''Haterade''', I would read most anything this dimension’s @realDonaldTrump ever wrote.''<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun, informal)'' excessive negativity, criticism, or resentment.

<blockquote>''This is in reference to the Nypical '''Haterade''' Comment of “Get A Job” that is not only thrusted upon me, but to everyone who is creative and have powerful in their own respective, individual rights.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Lars in the 2010 [[Lars Call]]. Chris then used it almost nine years later. Likely a pun on the sports drink Gatorade.
</blockquote>
;[[heart level]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his emotional state

<blockquote>''100% Change the number to change your '''heart level''' and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.''<ref>[[Heart_level]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The concept of the "heart level" most likely stems from Chris's inability to understand emotions. As an alternative, Chris tends to use video game terms in order to measure such emotions.</blockquote>

;heal
<blockquote> 1. ''(verb)'' to ejaculate into someone.

<blockquote>''Had I Not '''healed''' her, she would be dead Late August.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had somehow come to the conclusion that sex with his mother would make her more youthful, hence "healing" her.

</blockquote>

;heartsweet
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Rosey, as often as birds tweet, will you be my lovely '''heartsweet'''?''<ref name=OdeToRosechu>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Rearrangement of "sweetheart," possibly coined initially to provide more rhyming options in poetry. Chris primarily uses this term in Sonichu's dialogue, as the character's pet name for Rosechu. When speaking for himself, Chris tends to prefer "sweetheart," although the trolls use "heartsweet" in conversation with him.

''See also: [[sweetbolt]]''
</blockquote>

;heavyweight
[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris does NOT look like Chris Farley]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Stockboy; person employed to move heavy objects and perform other menial labor.

<blockquote>If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY. [...] If I have to I would be, get one of the '''heavyweights''', that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store.<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' heavy.

<blockquote>I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more '''heavyweight''' than me, and he was more wild than me.<ref>[[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, as usual, has to repurpose words rather than use the existing words that already mean what he wants to say.
</blockquote>

;hedgehog-defensive (or hedgehog)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Protecting oneself by curling up into a ball, just like a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hedgehog]].

<blockquote>And I do understand all that. Believe me, and I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my '''hedgehog-defensive''' state and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.<ref>[[TooManyGames#Personal_space_talk]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>@MLPSilverQuill, having one’s own spirit killed is really not fun nor funny at all. And, believe me, I was literally in a worse huddled position than what I see here, and I FELT DEVASTATED at that moment. I went full '''Hedgehog Defensive''' and let my quills keep others back. It Hurts<ref>[[April_2019_social_media_posts#Hedgehog-defensive_state]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacing the likes of his [[Megatron pistol]] and his [[pepper spray]], Chris has adapted the habit of rolling up into a ball to protect himself from unwanted physical contact. The protective state he dubs "the hedgehog-defensive state" is most likely based off of the spin-dash attack from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, which the titular character uses to attack foes.</blockquote>

;[[hermaphrodite]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A derogatory term for passing transgender women, particularly those that haven't gotten bottom surgery.

<blockquote>''OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A '''HERMAPHRODITE'''?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "The Crying Game", or the Thanksgiving episode of "The Cleveland Show".''<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap, again!]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A person of an ambiguous gender, or who is female, who also has a penis.

<blockquote>If a '''Hermaphrodite''', I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin:A misuse of the archaic term for intersex people. Chris appears to use this term to refer to someone he deems as "almost a woman", which is also shown when he referred to some of his female characters as "all female" when having their penises removed. Chris used this term when he noticed that the sweetheart [[Bailey Jay]] had a penis, and she explained to him her experiences as a transwoman. Chris also notably talked about how if he had a "hermaphrodite" as one of his offspring, he'd raise them as a boy. Chris's rather specific usage of this term also shows some of his prior beliefs about gender before he transitioned himself, such as who he deemed "male" or "female" in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[HEXBox]]
[[File:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the video game consoles made by Microsoft, primarily the Xbox 360.

<blockquote>I never cared for the '''HEXBox''', and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT.</blockquote>

Origin: Due to his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand Loyalty]], Chris had an irrational hatred for the XBox, simply because of how much you've got to pay for it to access some of its content<ref>[[Mailbag_5]]</ref>. Because Chris viewed this device as a curse to humanity, he tacked the word "hex", which is defined as being a curse, onto the original name of the console.</blockquote>

;hide behind/under his mother's skirt
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' To behave in a cowardly, immature fashion.

<blockquote>''You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who '''hides under his mother's skirt'''.''<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An antiquated phrase alluding to children literally hiding behind their mother's skirts when frightened.
</blockquote>

;hippo on one's head
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A predicament or unpleasant situation one is currently facing

<blockquote>''I'M WET. I'M COLD. THERE'S A HIPPO ON MY HEAD. AND CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.''<ref>[[:File:JailArt15.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Someone's [[wikipedia:Hippocampus|hippocampus]]

<blockquote>''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)''<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris states in an e-mail directed at [[Regina Novakova]] that the phrase originated as an example of his [[random-access humor]], apparently as a pun of the word "hippocampus". Following from this, he would famously use the term in a [[HippoOnYourHead|Flipnote animation]] of a person literally getting crushed by a falling hippo, and then use the term several more times to describe the "weight" of the hippo on people's heads. He has lately used this term to describe his struggles with being in jail in a drawing sent to [[Praetor]].

</blockquote>

;[[homo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A male homosexual

<blockquote>''Yes; the '''Homos''' I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>''

2. ''(noun)'' A non-passing transgender woman, particularly one Chris doesn't deem an authentic woman

<blockquote>''So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.''

''Anyway, that's my response for now.''

''Damn '''homo'''.''<ref>[[Response to ADF]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(adjective)'' homosexual

<blockquote>''Every one of you who thinks I'm '''homo''' and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm straight! I'm straight!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

4. ''(adjective)'' relating to homosexuals

<blockquote>''Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' '''Homo''' Ads MUST BE GONE!''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had a hatred for homosexuals, out of fear that he'll become one himself. Even uttering words like "gay" and "homosexual" would make him uncomfortable. Chris also believed that those that strayed too much from their assigned gender at birth would turn out as being gay, which explains his defensiveness towards his more effeminate traits.</blockquote>

;[[Honest Content|honest]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' NSFW, containing adult content.

<blockquote>''Parental Advisory - VERY '''HONEST''' content.''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only has a slightly good understanding of what honesty is. However, Chris doesn't seem to understand when it's most appropriate to be honest. In his mind, to attract mates, he has to be honest all of the time, even if this includes instances of his sexual misadventures. Chris knows that he's not supposed to discuss such topics publically with ordinary people, so he would have to keep such things in secret. Therefore, in his mind, it would be the honest thing to do to discuss such actions.
</blockquote>

;Hurtful Truth Level
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A point at which honest criticism should be stopped so as to avoid hurting a person's feelings, regardless of the usefulness of the advice.

<blockquote>''And another thing, When constantly exceeding that '''Hurtful Truth Level''' to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in an email to Jackie after she had pointed out several glaring flaws in Chris's lifestyle and personality. Rather than take her criticism to heart and improve himself, he got angry and defensive, wishing that she would show sympathy for him instead.
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== I ==
|-
|

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Statement of achievement and oneness with the universe.

<blockquote>''I promise, uh, three da—three pages a day, drawn or colored, but, also with the, uh, website, and God/Jesus's support, I feel like... we will be seeing many new—many new thing. The website will be better. '''I can feel the cosmos!''' Peace.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by a line from the game Katamari Damacy, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;I got a fish

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Claim that one owns a fish.

<blockquote>'''''I got a fish!''' Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fish Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish?''<ref>[[I_Got_A_Fish]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a song of the same name, where Chris's [[random-access humor]] shines.</blockquote>

;I HATE ME TOO!!!

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' A self-destructive phrase used to attempt to gain pity from trolls

<blockquote>''You know what, '''I HATE ME TOO!!!'''''<ref>[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as part of the title of a gallery found on Chris’s [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Page.
</blockquote>

;[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expressed angrily when you wish to break someone apart to kill them

<blockquote>''Jason Kendrick Howell... you BASTARD! BASTARD! You hacked into everything! You have driven me so beyond the wall, I can't even DESCRIBE it! YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW, BUT... '''I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!''' Goodbye!''<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as a [[death threat]] to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he has hacked Sonichu.net.</blockquote>

;I'm workin' on it!
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' An exclamation that you are working on something important.

<blockquote>'''I'm workin' on it!''' I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...<ref>[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used repeatedly by Chris to assure to [[Bob]] that he is doing his best to take down information about 14 Branchland Court from the Internet.</blockquote>

;IBAChandler
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Abbreviation for "I be a chandler," i.e., "I am a person named 'Chandler.'"

<blockquote>''I am so sick of hearing that stupid name that somebody made up back when I had that '''IBAChandler''' account, and I be a Chandler. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my last name.''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(proper noun)'' [[YouTube]] username in use by Christian Weston Chandler during his conflict with [[Liquid Chris]], leading trolls to accuse Chris of being an impostor of Liquid named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]].

3. ''(proper noun)'' Name of a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' villain based upon Liquid Chris, ironically named for the real Chris's alias.

<blockquote>'''''I B A Chandler''', And I am here to copycatly sieze claim of you hedgehogs and this city from your absent mayor's domain.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 79</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by [[Bob Chandler]]'s license plate, "I B MR C" ("I be Mister C.").<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;ID
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Identifying.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and Vestites; '''ID''' as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris argues semantics]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly derived from ID meaning "Identification". </blockquote>

;[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the extremely high probability that any woman Chris talks to is not [[CWC-isms#boyfriend-free|boyfriend-free]].

<blockquote>''With the '''infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor''', I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences.''<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is aware the general chances of him finding a sweetheart are extremely slim. Not willing to admit he's not at all attractive to most women, Chris blames it on the fact that most men are "jerks", and that one probably is already dating the woman he's trying to latch onto.</blockquote>
;information overload

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of spamming a webpage with pictures.

<blockquote>''I had thought the '''Information Overload''' would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: When Chris saw all of the explicit pictures on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, he decided that the best course of action would be to spam the article with his own pictures. His logic was that if he kept doing this faster than the other editors, they'd have to delete the article, as they just wouldn't catch up with him.
</blockquote>

;instinction

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An instance of something being used a certain way.

<blockquote>''Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all '''instinctions''' and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"''<ref name=IRC2January09/></blockquote>

Origin: Once again an instance of Chris trying to sound smart by using a word that sounds foreign to him, made up or otherwise. The end result, however, gives the impression that Chris isn't familiar with the word "instances".

</blockquote>

;intersex

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Relating to any gender identity outside of the gender binary.

<blockquote>''As a Tomgirl, '''Intersex''' of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser, I am in full support for Human Equal Rights for everyone."''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out... kinda]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the term "intersex" interchangeably with the term "transgender" on many occasions, and also uses it to refer to Silvana, who actually is intersex. This gives the impression that when he talks about something being "intersex", he means that it isn't entirely "male" or "female".

</blockquote>

;[[Iron Curtain|iron curtain]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The mostly hermetic seal between [[Reality Cartoon]]s, such as the [[Chris and reality|real world]] and the fictional universe containing [[CWCville]], that prevents the [[Dimensional Merge]] from proceeding.

<blockquote>''But we are getting increasing magics, here, with more and more opening portals and growing tears and cracks in the '''iron curtain'''''.<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris begs; posts creepy photo of Barb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Coined by Sir Winston Churchill in 1946 to refer to the limits of Russian intrusion into central Europe after the War. Chris presumably heard it once in [[Manchester High School|history class]] and forgot what it meant, unless he is comparing his fictional world to the [[Chris and censorship|Soviet Union]]. Alternatively it was fed to him by the [[Idea Guys]].

''See Also:'' [[#F|fourth wall]]</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== J ==
|-
|
;Jail of Fail
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A rather unappealing jail to reside in.

<blockquote>''I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type, you may Remember her (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many (Good) Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this '''Jail of Fail'''. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in a letter to the long-time orbiter and enabler, [[Kenneth Engelhardt]].

</blockquote>

;janekop
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A female [[CWC-isms#jerkop|jerkop]].

<blockquote>''YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SO SAYS THIS '''JANEKOP'''.''<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas the term "jerkop" is a portmanteau of the CWC-ism "jerk" and the word "cop", janekop is a portmanteau of the words "jane" and "cop". The word "jane" is a slang word for "woman". <ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jane</ref>
</blockquote>
;[[JERKS|jerk]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. Any male other than Chris and his dad in general, particularly those that Chris dislikes, especially one that gets in the way of his LoveQuest.

<blockquote>''On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel '''jerks'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "jerk" is generally defined as "A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/jerk#Etymology_1</ref> As stated in the quote above, Chris believes that all men to be cruel, selfish, and overall unlikeable. Therefore, he views almost all men as jerks.
</blockquote>
;[[Jerkop|jerkop]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. An official of the law.

<blockquote>''I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid '''Jerkops'''.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris views most officers of the law as jerks, due to how often they'd thwart his LoveQuest, the term is a portmanteau of "jerk" and "cop". Possibly a pun on the word "jerkoff", which is defined as being "a contemptible man".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/jerk--off</ref></blockquote>

;[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAY]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Chris preparing for hanky-panky with Julie, using a blow-up doll no less]]
<blockquote>''(interjection)'' 1. An expression used by Chris to indicate how much he'd love having sex for the first time with [[Julie]]

<blockquote>"Oh, Julie...'''JULAAAAAY''', JULAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"<ref>[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first shouted this infamous CWC-ism in the video [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]. He originally intended to share this video privately with [[Julie]], (unaware that 'she' was actually a 13-year-old male troll), to show what their first date would amount to, despite this breaking his Three Date Rule. Seeing how Chris was somewhat of a porn junkie,<ref>[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref> Chris must have picked up that during sexual intercourse, one of the people may shout the name of the other person in order to "spice up" the orgy. When the video got leaked soon after, the term started to be used by trolls humorously, to the point where [[weens]] started using the phrase in excess, making the CWC-ism lose its luster.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;jumping the shark
<blockquote>''(verb)'' 1. To start over from scratch

<blockquote>"I am moving out of this Twitter into creating a new one I created, @CPU_CWCSonichu. New and renewed followers will all be screened by my ally, as to keep out the Haters and Harassers. Starting up new and fresh. '''Jumping The Shark''' from old to new"<ref>[[Misc texts#CPU_CWCSonichu]]</ref>

</blockquote>

Origin: The term "jumping the shark" humorously refers to the point where something once popular which has begun to lose its viewer base pulls an extreme stunt in hopes of garnering attention. The term comes from an episode of the television show ''Happy Days'', where Fonzie literally jumped over a shark while water skiing. Ironically enough, despite Chris's misuse of the phrase, many people could easily say that the comic of Sonichu and Chris as a person have "jumped the shark" several times, especially with [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] and- of course- Chris's change into a [[Transgender|transwoman]].

</blockquote>

;Junkeon

<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk that was raised by another selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk.

<blockquote>"But, yeah, you have these kinds of people raising kids of their own? Are they seriously fit to have and raise children of their own?! I feel even more sorry for those children, because that brings in not only a bunch of f*** up bullies and potential worse than arrogant narcissists, but essentially a bunch of '''Junkeons''' who will have a Very Limited vocabulary and mentality. WILL they actually mean what they say, or will they be constantly, meaninglessly quoting memes and tv shows? I feel it is clear.<ref>[[April 2026 social media posts#Rant against Kiwi Farms]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misspelling of "[[Transformers|Junkion]]", which Chris uses to chastise his haters in a Twitter post.

</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== K ==
|-
|
;kawaii
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' cute or adorable.

<blockquote>''Also, I have thought up something '''kawaii''' we can talk about; Makeup and Fashion ideas.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''That look really suits you; you look so '''kawaii''' and cool.😊''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1209184205776797697</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Japanese word for cute, once popular in the English-speaking anime/manga and fashion subcultures. Chris has used this word in almost all cases where he describes anything he thinks is cute and cuddly, more so in recent times, where the use of this word is no longer taken seriously, and seen as more of a joke to poke fun at [[Joshua Wise|weeaboos]].</blockquote>

;[[Kick the Autistic]]
[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|A self-administered kick]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' America's favorite game

<blockquote>''I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC!"''' *sigh*''<ref>[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any action which involves doing something to Chris that he doesn't like

<blockquote>''And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC"''', then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' Any form of discrimination towards Chris for being [[autism|autistic]].

<blockquote>''And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "'''Kick the Autistic'''". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*''<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had this paranoid idea that the whole world is going against him and his goals, solely due to his autism. In this sense, the fact that so many people supposedly wanted to thwart his goals made him feel like he was being "kicked" around. </blockquote>

;Kra-Kow!

<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase indicating that Chris roasted someone.

<blockquote>''What? I’m just telling the truth. I hear and see WORSE shit from you Haters. At this point, I’d rather look back in that memory than PTSD over y’all’s Hate-Filled content. '''Kra-Kow!'''''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1231269768310722560</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly [https://www.pinterest.com/pin/318700111138943542/ a comic strip] from Calvin and Hobbes. Most likely inspired by the sound lightning makes.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== L ==
|-
|

;Laughs Under Lucricities
[[File:LULZ.jpg|thumb|"[[C-Log 03182026|For the LULZ!]]"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(backronym)'' backronym for "LULZ"

<blockquote>''Although, F.Y.I., "LULZ" is short for "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''"''<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any form of humor made at Chris's expense

<blockquote>''... your bully of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the "LULZ", "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE''<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#August]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: It's likely that Chris first heard of lulz on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]-<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> the slogan of which is "in lulz we trust"- and thus forever associated the term with trolling. Originally he would simply say "LULZ" ''ought'' to stand for "Laughs Under Lucricities," but he soon began implying that it already does.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008|Email]] from Chris to Robert Simmons V on 12 August 2008</ref> Lucricities is seemingly a combination of "lucrid" (another non-word with apparent negative connotations that Chris has used<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 48]]</ref>) and "ludicrous" but falls short of being a portmanteau and is more like the result of a head-on collision of the English language.

</blockquote>

;lesbian soul
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' What Chris believes to be his true [[Chris and sexuality|sexuality]].

<blockquote>''I am an all-around, good natured, high-functioning autistic, Female '''Lesbian Soul''', and Transwoman, artist, gamer and creative type.''<ref>https://www.facebook.com/pg/cwcville/about/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris declared himself transgender, he continued to be attracted to exclusively to biological females regardless of their own sexual orientation.<ref>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's]]</ref> Thus, Chris became a lesbian. As a way to assert to detractors that he was a lesbian, Chris cited himself as having a "lesbian soul" despite previously living as a straight man for thirty years.

 </blockquote>
;level-up king
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Master of [[card games]].

<blockquote>''There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the '''level up king'''!"''<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before his permanent ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]], Chris would play games of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with some of the other customers. Despite his sick obsession with both games, Chris never developed any type of strategy to compete with other players, making it very difficult to succeed at the game, even when he played against small children. Eventually, when the shop was just down to six people, which included Chris, the manager, [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], and [[Lucas]], Chris did win a match against a relatively new player, and excitedly jumped up and down at this accomplishment like a child. Along with this, he shouted the phrase "I AM THE LEVEL-UP KING!"</blockquote>

;like, you know
<blockquote>1. ''(discourse particle)'' Space filler during sentence.

<blockquote>''I don't want too much conflict to happen, '''like, you know'''. You wouldn't want too much conflict to happen, like, you know. I mean-like, you know, between you and him any further. Yeah.''<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's speech consists mostly of uh's, um's, and other vocalized pauses.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;live from home once again
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction stating that one is recording themselves from their home.

<blockquote> ''Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you '''live from home once again''' and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes! This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!''<ref>[[Dimensional Merge Announcements]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase became Chris's typical means of starting his videos since late 2015, replacing the famous Captain's Log. Although it is sometimes used appropriately (i.e. livestreams), Chris uses the phrase even in prerecorded videos that are not, in fact, live.</blockquote>

;[[Love Quest]]
<blockquote>1.''(noun)'' Chris's former on-going search for a sweetheart.

<blockquote>''As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring '''LOVE QUEST'''!''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: Since attending [[PVCC]], Chris has embarked on a 15-year long quest to find his true love. Chris constantly failing to achieve this goal was what gave this CWC-ism its name.</blockquote>

;lovehog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A lover in a relationship between two [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Also, I have finished the drawing for you, and I have shown off the Original '''LoveHog''' Couple's Wedding Rings, and their three children: Cerah Rosey, Robbie Sonee and (Shiney Rosey) Christine Rosey.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehog".</blockquote>

;lucricities
<blockquote>1. ''(pl. noun)'' lurid acts or motivations

Origin: Chris completely made this word up, presumably based on "lucrid," which may in turn be based on the actual word "lurid." According to Chris, the word "lulz" can mean either "Laughs at my expense" or "Laughs under lucricities," so presumably the two contexts are equivalent.
</blockquote>

;lucrid
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' obscene, profane, wicked
<blockquote>''And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose—such '''lucrid''' mockeries is not gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...''<ref name=csm>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Possibly a corruption of "lurid," given the context. Alternatively, it might be a corruption of "ludicrous." Chris has used this word to describe the homoerotic/dickgirl art on the ED page, as well as the fan comic in which he was depicted as a man-baby. Ironically, even before Chris used this word
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== M ==
|-
|

;majorly

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' very, really

<blockquote>''Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became '''Majorly''' Shattered again.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005|CWC's Diary: 29 March]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a '''majorly''' royal waste.''<ref>[[Cakefarts#Later thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stilted word used likely because has more syllables (thus making it sound smarter to Chris) than the regular ones it replaces.</blockquote>

;make one's own peeps n' poops

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to urinate and deficate at the same time

<blockquote>''Uh, actually, uh, actually Crystal is uh, doing, is uh, doing her preschool homework, and uh, Reg-, and Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' babychild! '''Made his lil' peeps n' poops'''! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom.''<ref>[[PlayingHouse]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a clip of Family Guy, where Herber the Pervert is letting his dog out to "make his pees n' poops". <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlwEfZEmrg</ref></blockquote>

;Mama
[[File:Christine and pikachu.jpg|right|thumb|Mama Christine with a [[Sonee]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' What Chris refers to himself as when roleplaying as one of his [[OCs]].

<blockquote>''I am going to some shopping and donating amongst the artists affected by the COVID virus of this Dimension, on behalf of '''Mama''', Chris Chan Sonichu. Thank you, again, to the individual who bought the book set recently. Still waiting for the set of #TSSSF cards to sign and offer.''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1251259373810302977</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes himself to be a parent to his characters. Since he identifies as a woman, he has given himself the alias “Mama”. Chris further shows his lack of self-awareness by not realizing how awkward it is to have anyone, even his own characters (who are presumably teenagers) refer to him as such.</blockquote>

;[[Manajerks|manajerk]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a store manager

<blockquote>'' two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]] (20 July)</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmantau of "manager" and "jerk". </blockquote>

;[[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' akin to to Mary Lee Walsh

<blockquote>''She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, '''Mary Lee Walshing''', Witch Bitch!''<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ongoing resentment against his old college dean has led him to compare a Wal-Mart manager who banned him from her store to Walsh. He apparently fails to comprehend that the "-ing" suffix is generally associated with verbs.</blockquote>

;mashed potato grenade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[Wikipedia:Stielhandgranate|Stielhandgranate]], a special German hand grenade with a handle.

<blockquote>''I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my '''mashed potato grenade''' could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder.''<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a Facebook post sent to [[Megan Schroeder]] accusing her of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] from the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]], where he [[Chris and reality|makes paranoid claims]] of what she, [[Mimms]], [[Lucas]], and [[Snyder]] were thinking that day. A corruption of "potato masher grenade", a common English nickname of the Stielhandgranate<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stielhandgranate</ref>.</blockquote>

;[[Mass debating|mass debate]]
[[File:Mass_Debate.jpg|right|thumb|Massive Debating]]
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to pleasure one's self; to masturbate

<blockquote>''I've actually done it '''mass debating''' to myself so many times, even with a hunk of - even with an inflatable plastic woman...''<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This particular euphemism comes from Chris's tendency to refrain from using inappropriate language, as well as his unusual variation of a southern accent combined with a minor speech impediment.</blockquote>

;mental block

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's autism

<blockquote>''And, uh, during my high school years, I was used to being surrounded by… girls… in my circle, and after having to, uh, leave them I felt ever so lonesome. And, after the stress from some of the people—people at PVCC, as well as my '''mental block''' of autism, it became hard from me to approach gir—approach the girls like I used to.''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to his [[autism]] as a "mental block" because he believes the term refers to a disability. In his case, his supposed disability to socialize with girls. In reality, a mental block is the inability to remember a specific thing at a given moment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_block</ref></blockquote>

;Meta

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' being able to break through the fourth wall.

<blockquote>''Also, there is no problem with breaking your own fourth wall with us from your dimension, here. Go '''Meta'''. We are certainly Meta with and for you all as well.''<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#Homelander and C-197]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: From the Greek prefix meaning "after" or "beyond". Chris views all cartoons as being on a dimension higher than our own. According to him, being able to break through the iron curtain entails obtaining a higher mode of consciousness.
</blockquote>

;mislabel

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to put a label on Chris or any of his creations in a way he doesn't like, regardless of truth
2. ''(noun)'' a label of such slanderous nature; see also "misunderstanding"
<blockquote>''I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE '''Mislabeling''' than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again? ''<ref>[[Common Questions#1_February_2010]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Just about everywhere. He appears to use this term as often as the word "slanderous". Curiously, the redundancy "ill-mislabeling" (as if there were any other kind) has appeared once.<ref>[[CWC Blog#28_December_2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;misspeak

<blockquote>1.''(verb)'' to lie

<blockquote>''Sometimes, I have '''misspoke'''. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. Hand to God. And on my Bible. I'd have to go look for it.''<ref>[[ToJackie]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on [[Lies|his bullshit]], Chris prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this ploy.

</blockquote>

;misunderstanding

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a deliberate view that contradicts Chris; see also "mislabel"
<blockquote>''*AND WE WILL NOT TAKE THE '''MISUNDERSTANDINGS''', THE MISLABELS, AND ALL THE LIKE SITTING DOWN!!!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Issue_9/Page_39|2=Issue 9 Page 39}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misappropration. Note that it is not, as in reality,<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misunderstanding Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "misunderstanding"]</ref> a mistaken notion (alternatively a dispute) based on faulty information, but a malicious action worthy of [[tard rage]]. Apparently a slanderous troll has to actively "misunderstand" Chris. Also, Chris has used the related word "misunderstood" (participle adjective) as an insult, not realizing that if the troll misunderstood (transitive verb) him, ''Chris'' would be the one that was misunderstood (participle adjective).<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Rosechu_the_transwoman|Mailbag 39]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;modnar
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' random

<blockquote>''I may be '''modnar''', but I try not to be offensive, and if I do, then I am sorry. I can not please Everyone.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Random", spelt backwards.</blockquote>

;[[Monthly tugboat|monthly tugboat]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's Social Security Disability Service

<blockquote>"I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a '''monthly tugboat.'''"<ref>[[Monthly tugboat#References by Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently coined the term "Monthly Tugboat" due to a comparison he makes between gaining money through his SSDS vs. winning the lottery. In his mind, winning the lottery is like riding a "Luxury ship that can easily sink", while gaining money from the government is the same as getting cargo from a ship pulled by a tugboat. <ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref></blockquote>

;morrow

<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' Synonym for moral.

<blockquote>''The '''Morrow''' remains: Look up to whoever and whatever you like as your childhood hero like no one else is watching you; remain proud with your choice and preference. 💜⚡️''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris supports playing with whatever toys you want]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Unknown, possibly a corruption of the word moral. Used exclusively by Magi-Chan during Chris month-long twitter roleplay in August and September of 2019.
</blockquote>

;Mother Nature errand
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' The bodily urge to either [[Piss|urinate]] or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecate]].

<blockquote>''All right, well, ladies, it’s been fun, but I gotta split and take care of ah... y’know, a '''Mother Nature errand'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Home Club]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A peculiar take on the idiom "call of nature".
</blockquote>

;[[Muscle bra|muscle bra]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A sports bra used for covering a man's bare chest.

<blockquote>''And you know what, I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a '''muscle bra'''. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.''<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Contributing to his previous fear of the homos, Chris also had a fear of seeing the bare chests of other men out of fear that it'll make him gay. He therefore suggested that men cover their chests under penalty of the law. Chris most likely blended the terms "muscle shirt" and "sports bra".</blockquote>

;my two bolts and a heart

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Chris's opinion or takeaway on something.

<blockquote>''Okay. I get serious creep and dark vibrations from all of this. I mean, you may do as you will if it feels right with you. Just '''my two bolts and a heart'''.''<ref>[[April_2021_social_media_posts#Dark_vibrations]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's version of the idiomatic expression "my two cents", referencing his emoji signature "⚡️💙⚡️". Chris has also used a similar phrase before while roleplaying as Sonichu, shortening it to just "my two bolts."<ref>[[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]</ref></blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== N ==
|-
|

;[[naïve]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb, lacking intelligence.

<blockquote>''You are such a cowardly, '''naïve''', retarded, individual.''<ref>[[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only seems to understand the most simplified definition of the word. In general terms, the word "naïve" is defined as "showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment."<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/naive</ref> However, in Chris's mind, the word is used to "question one's intelligence". Despite his distaste for the use of the word on him, this turns out to be a commonly used insult by Chris.</blockquote>

[[File:FRENCH-NAVY-CameraObscura.jpg|thumb|Chris travels to France]]
;navy
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' semen.

<blockquote>''You know that, uh—first off, uh, the one... with the '''navy''' being drunk. Yeah. Som—yeah. A b—a—i—a—it's a good idea somet—uhhh... it's a... it's a good idea. But, uh, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but, uh... I recycle my own semen''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Play on words, i.e, a navy is a collection of seamen/semen.

''See also: [[CWC-isms#C|Comeuppance]]''
</blockquote>

;nearly same
<blockquote>1. ''(Adjective)'' Similar.

<blockquote>''And so I killed about- killed about twenty miles round trip for gas to go find her house. But it turns out that was a troll posing as that girl. [sighs] THE VOICES SOUNDED '''NEARLY SAME'''.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;negligent

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[negligee]]

<blockquote>So, I went onto Adam & Eve's website, and ordered three garments, and a transparent robe. One of the '''negligent''' is about exactly on what I had drawn onto myself.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sexy negligee]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An obvious mispelling of "negligee", a form of lingerie.

</blockquote>

;neurotypically hindered
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Lacking the proper mindset or intelligence to understand Chris's world building, just by being normal.

<blockquote>''Go ahead; that Is what happened that day, and they did not mind it much. To mock us makes you all Soo '''Neurotypically Hindered'''.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203938198424035329</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes that the term "neurotypical" refers to having average brain function, rather than lacking any sort of mental condition.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1207129697752141824</ref> He believes that if one only possesses average intelligence, it makes it impossible for them to fully accept his fantasy world, thus claiming it as a "hindrance".

</blockquote>

;neutral
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' platonic.

<blockquote>''I apologize, but I meant the term '''neutrally''', and I never meant anything from that.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And One More thing, Darling!... Talluah Bankhead would be Insulted with your response to the term's '''neutral''' usage. Hmpf!'<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes words like "darling" and "dear", are gender neutral terms. Because of this, he assumes that if he claims that he used it in a "neutral" way, people will know he's not using the term in a romantic tone.

</blockquote>
<blockquote>2. ''(adjective)'' politically centrist or nonpartisan.

<blockquote>''He is a communist! And we do not like communists within this country! We are Republican, Democrat or ''' neutral'''... And I am '''neutral''', so I can go either way, but I do not exactly care much for communism!'<ref>[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Niggo|niggo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An African-American person.

<blockquote>''Chris: [sighs, raises his voice] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: Where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggos'''.''<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bastardization of the racial slur "nigger". This minced oath was used only once after [[BlueSpike]] persuaded Chris to say: "''BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers''". Chris decided to repeat this phrase, but he also thought he could "outsmart" BlueSpike by replacing "niggers" with "niggos" in order to avoid saying the offending word directly. Ironically, a whole year after the incident, Chris referred to [[Surfshack Tito]] as a "nigger" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|several]] [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|times]], despite not even knowing what he looks like.</blockquote>

;No fucking shit / N.F.S.
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' obviously

<blockquote>''[[The WCT]]: Don't let [[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]] get close to you ever.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''No fucking shit'''.''<ref name=wctdms>[[WCT DMs]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''The WCT: The Sockness Saga will be something to watch when Geno gets there. ''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''N.F.S.'''.''<ref name=wctdms></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another instance of Chris attempting to add unnecessary emphasis onto his writing.</blockquote>

;[[Nombie-zazis|nombie-zazis]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' zombie nazis

<blockquote>''Anyway, as for the medical study, and this will require your aid, Magi-Chan. In June of 2015, the scientists have found the gene-like molecule which makes a person turn...ugh..'''nombie-zazis'''.''<ref>[[:File:Son10revp3.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacement for homosexuals and homosexuality in the revised [[Sonichu 10]].</blockquote>

;not-troll
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a victim of trolling.

<blockquote>''Consider who does more harassing, which do you block? <ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-278#post-2549629]]</ref>
<blockquote>
*Every Foul-Mouth Troll
*The '''Not-Troll''' they follow</blockquote>''</blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's mind, only two types of people exist on [[the Internet]], those who are trolls, and those who are victims of trolling. Because the person being trolled is supposedly '''not''' a troll, they are a "not-troll". Chris eventually deleted the aforementioned post, and reposted it, replacing "not-troll" with "victim" to clarify what he was referring to in the first place.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-279</ref></blockquote>

;[[Noviophobia|noviophobia]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the fear that someone you want to date is already dating someone else.

<blockquote>''His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of '''Noviophobia''', where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “A Jerk.”''<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Because Chris was so frustrated with so many [[CWC-isms#J|jerks]] stealing his potential mates, Chris decided that his envy and hatred of men was a real phobia. Thus, overconfident in his ability to speak [[Spanish]], formed the word "noviophobia" by using the Spanish word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English suffix, -phobia, meaning fear . </blockquote>
</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== O ==
|-
|
;[[OC]]
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creator. A god or deity, including [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|Chris himself]].

<blockquote>''I recall that there was a Mythos about me online: myself, Chris Chan, I; I was an '''OC''' in my own stories; was I Real in this “Reality” that is Dimension 1218? And then I was confirmed in late 2007 with that blurry photograph of me in a moment of great shock and stress.''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creation. A resident of a [[Reality Cartoon|cartoon dimension]]

<blockquote>''I am pleased to announce from this collab piece alone, we have ten Sonichu/Rosechu '''OCs''' confirmed for the OC Expansion Packs of our #TSSSF set of cards, and then some, as I’m also delegating with my other friends as well. This is going to be a massive and lovely OC party!''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Short for ''original character'', a common term used by fanfiction authors for characters invented by themselves and used in their stories yet not present in the source material. Chris believes that fictional characters [[Chris and reality|really]] exist in other [[dimensions]], and under the [[Idea Guys]]' influence was convinced they are deserving of worship. Beginning with the Console Patron Units from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', he has since generalised this idea on his own.</blockquote>

;OH! MY AXELS! (or OW! MY AXELS!)
[[File:Axels2.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of pain in one's axles (the central shafts of rotating wheels or gears in a machine).

<blockquote>'''''OOOHHHHHH!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Written for [[Ghostbusters|Ghost Buggy]]'s cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], based upon the character's tendency to complain about its aching mechanical components.</blockquote>

;OH, MY CHRIS CHAN!
[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|150px|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Exclamation uttered by Chris during his phases of holding a [[messiah complex]] and [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].

<blockquote>''Why the Hell would you read that personal shit about [[Chris|Mama]] with [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|the penis thing]]? '''[[CPU Blue Heart|Oh, My Chris Chan]]!'''''<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Typed as a comment for the [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]] episode involving an embarrassing email.</blockquote>

;old-fashioned<blockquote>
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Holding a belief that may be considered politically incorrect.

<blockquote>''But still, call me '''old-fashioned''' but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... NOT BLACK. Not black.''<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''My father is '''OLD FASHIONED'''; he NEVER gives thought to homos, and he HATES them too.''<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to regard most traditional beliefs and rituals to be offensive to the general public.

2. ''(adjective)'' Dating back to the 1980s.

<blockquote>''Ah, you can tell this is an '''old-fashioned''' Lego set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner.''<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to believe anything that's been made more than 5 years ago is as old as dirt.

3. ''(adjective)'' Preferring real women over waifus.
<blockquote>''Nothing against waifus and the people who have them, but I Never Really understood the appeal and concept of making out a character from a show who is Dimensions Away from your own league to be any sort of a significant other to you. I’m more '''old-fashioned''' towards real women.''<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Opinion on waifus]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. However, Chris seemed to use this word like this because he's aware it isn't considered customary to be sexually attached to fictional characters over real people.

</blockquote>

;ounce of vagina

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Essentially Chris's way of saying "I'll at least lose my virginity at some point".

<blockquote>''And, as for you, Jason Kendrick Howell… as sure as I am to get at least one '''ounce of vagina''', I have your number, and you're going down!''<ref name=AttentionAll/></blockquote>

Origin: Obviously confused when it comes to both euphemisms and basic units of measure, Chris has stated that he is sure to get "at least one ounce of vagina" within his lifetime.<ref name=AttentionAll/> In the years since, he's gotten at least [[Mia Hamm|two]] [[Barbara Chandler|ounces]].
</blockquote>
;outercourse
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the act of stimulating someone else's genitals.

<blockquote>''I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of '''outtercourse''''' [sic]'' (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you.''<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "outercourse" is actually another way to refer to dry humping.<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/outercourse</ref> In Chris's mind however, outercourse simply refers to sex which involves touching another's genitals, because the action happen outside of the body.</blockquote>

;overinexperienced
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Being overly inexperienced.

<blockquote>''My Body is sexually overinexperienced, and Starved.''<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: It apparently didn't occur to Chris that sexual inexperience isn't the least bit comparative, at least not in the context where he intended to use this word.
</blockquote>

;overpowered (or OP)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A disproportionate amount of strength, which is worn as a badge of honor.

<blockquote>''If I was a neuro-typical mind, as opposed to '''overpowered''' psychic, I’d have gotten dizzy. ''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A term normally meant to refer to imbalance in game mechanics. Chris adopted the term at some point during or after the [[Idea Guys]] saga as a way to brag about his nonexistent psychic abilities and ludicrously powerful fictional characters.</blockquote>

{{clear}}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== P ==
|-
|

;parkay
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an epic style of running

<blockquote>''Hello there, fans! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the Sonichu franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do a '''parkay''' from this point all the way down to the gara--parking garage where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held.''<ref>[[Sonichu's Edge]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], Chris calls his style of running "parkay". Chris confused his running as a form of parkour, an acrobatic sport typically used in the military as a means of practicing the navigation of a complex environment without the use of equipment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour</ref>. Given Chris's [[speech impediment]], the word "parkour" somehow came out as "parkay".
</blockquote>

;[[Parody|parody]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any work that "borrows" characters, plots, or styles from other pieces of fiction, whether infringing International [[Chris and copyright|Copyright]] Law or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise '''parodic'''.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:Issue_8_Cover.jpg</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of what constitutes as a parody most likely comes from his interest in shows like [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]], the former of which use copyrighted characters to make jokes around them, and the latter of which parodied various clichés found in anime. In his mind, because those shows can get away with using such characters and scenes, that gives him an excuse to do the same thing in his comics as long as he states it's being done as a "parody". Ironically, Whenever Chris spoted an actual parody, he thought that the characters from the original work were being defaced.<ref>[[Parody#Chris does not understand the concept of parody]]</ref></blockquote>

;peanut
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who disregards you, or otherwise does not accept you for who you are.

<blockquote>''So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total '''peanuts'''. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Apparently derived from "{{w|peanut gallery}}," a term used to describe the hecklers in an vaudeville audience who would throw peanuts at a performer. Chris's own spin on this concept is to dismiss such hecklers as being insignificant like literal peanuts.
</blockquote>

;[[Pedofork|pedofork]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pedophile.

<blockquote>''I am not a '''pedofork''', you DORKS!!!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Created as a half-assed attempt to make "pedophile" rhyme with dork. Coined in Chris's [[Madman Rising]] video, in response to the trolls who were comparing him to [[wikipedia:Herbert_(Family_Guy)| Herbert the Pervert]] from ''Family Guy''.</blockquote>

;Pfalm
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of placing your palm over someone's face or the camera, as if it's the viewer's face.

<blockquote>''Be geek, be proud, pfaaaaaalm! Emgo; silly! Silly, silly person. Have a good day, be safe, be good.''<ref>[[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, it comes from the phrase "palm in your face" which is a phrase [[Emgo316]] uses, combining the words "palm" and "face".<ref>[[Random Thoughts (will be updated from time to time)]]</ref> Even though the CWC-ism was coined by Chris in 2017,<ref>[[Son-Chu Review]]</ref> it was not actively used until 2024.
</blockquote>

;[[Pickle|pickle]]
[[File:Pickle Rick.jpg|right|thumb|Chris bought this back in 2018. The brine-soaked irony!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A penis, particularly one of [[JERKS|any man that isn't Chris]].

<blockquote>''Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu, Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' '''PICKLE'''!!!!''<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply3.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "pickle" is one of the few hundred slang words for the word "penis".<ref>https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/PenisTesticlesSlang.pdf</ref> It is unknown why Chris prefers to refer to the penises of other men as "pickles", while he calls his own his "duck", but it may have to do with Chris's sexual insecurity and the fact that he legitimately hates actual pickles <ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates pickles]]</ref>, whereas Chris thinks he's special enough to have a cutesy name for his own penis.</blockquote>

;[[Pmurt]]

<blockquote>1. ''(proper noun)'' The 45th and 47th president of the United States: Donald Trump.

<blockquote>''EID '''PMURT''' EID!!!!!!''<ref>[[Eid, Pmurt, Eid]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Donald Trump's last name, but spelled backwards. In Chris's first usage of this CWC-ism, Chris mentioned how "Trump spelled backward is "Pmurt", which sounds like "hurt".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>
Due to Chris's strong hatred for Trump, he frequently referred to Trump as Pmurt- believing that the spoken word of a backwards name has the power to degrade and weaken a person.<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref>. In Chris's eyes, if he repeated the word again and again, everyone would turn against Trump and start voting for [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris had no sway over the election aside from his own vote.
</blockquote>

;point at your snout and oink
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Do something humiliating to yourself.

<blockquote>''You both want me to even Beg, you can go '''point at your own damn snouts and Oink''' like Eric Cartman, and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]] [[Sex toys|Dual LightSabre]].''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to a scene in the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "{{w|Scott Tenorman Must Die}}", where Scott makes Eric Cartman embarass himself by singing a song about being a "little piggy". Chris said this to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito]] upon failing to receive a cash bounty for destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]].
</blockquote>

;poke
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana.

<blockquote>''Anyway, eclectic! High on the hedge and high on the hog. You want some of this '''poke''', mon?<ref>[[CWC address to Royal Board]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended as a demonstration of what "Soni-Chew the Eclectic Heeedge Hog Poke Mon of London, England" would sound like. A coded reference to Pokémon, and may or may not be a play on the verb "toke".
</blockquote>

;[[Polyamorous marriage|polyamorous]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Polygamous.

<blockquote>''I go'' [sic] ''married to Magi-Chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu last March, and then I married Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo last June. We all share a '''polyamorous''' relationship.''<ref>[[:File:Miss_Cherry_asks_Chris_about_his_marriages.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An etymologically malformed neologism from the 1970's for having multiple romantic or sexual relations at once, misapplied by Chris. </blockquote>

;prawns
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Subordinates or helpers, often those wittingly or unwittingly aiding a sinister character.

<blockquote>''You keep sending out your '''prawns''' to do your dirty work, you coward.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris almost certainly meant to type "pawns" here. </blockquote>

;[[Prickly-Wicklies|prickly-wicklies]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Punishments given for insulting or harming Chris.

<blockquote>''War gets you '''prickly-wicklies'''... as well as punches.''<ref>[[Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies#Possible origin]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refer to ''Fuzzy-Wuzzies''.

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#F|fuzzy-wuzzies]]

</blockquote>

;[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb]]
<blockquote>1. ''(backronym)'' The headquarters of several Sonichu villains.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: The name itself is a backronym of the college Chris attended, the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. After experiencing several mishaps throughout his college experience<ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of English]]</ref><ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college]]</ref>, the dean giving him the cold hard truth about why his [[Love Quest]] is doomed to fail became the straw that broke the camel's back, and Chris thought it would be a smart idea to deface the college afterward in his comics.</blockquote>

;prowldent
<blockquote>1. ''(???)'' Unknown.

<blockquote>There's no quote to cite this from, just a logo in which Chris gives the name "Prowldent Virginia Community College" to [[PVCC]].<ref>[[:File:ProwldentVCC.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely combining connotations of "prowl" and "dent" (either to leave an indentation or [[fangs|teeth]]).
</blockquote>

;Pu Tuhs!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Shut Up!

<blockquote>''SHE; my Ariel Starter was Female from the start, so '''Pu Tuhs!'''''<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Favorite Pokemon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Shut up" backwards. Because it is backwards, Chris thinks it is more debasing than the normal version of the phrase.
</blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Q ==
|-
|

;q-sand
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Short for quarter sandwich (i.e. a quarter of a sandwich).

<blockquote>
''So, mom ignored her and ate the '''q-sand''' in front of her.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Appeared in an [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail]] sent to [[Jackie]] dated August 5, 2011. Most likely unnecessarily used as a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]] abbreviation.
</blockquote>

;quarters
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An office space; headquarters.

<blockquote>''Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her '''quarters''' and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whenever Chris says that he's being brought to someone's office, he always refers to it as their "quarters", as if he was being brought to some kind of evil hideout. This could be to add unnecessary dramatic effect to his stories.

2. ''(noun, pl.)'' coins, no matter their origin or worth.

<blockquote>''Uhh. I want a soda, but it takes only C '''quarters''' and I only have W quarters. Do you have any change?''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The first time this word was used like this was in [[Sonichu 9]], where it is revealed that [[CWCville]] issues its currency in the form of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to this issue, 10 C-quarters, make up a single W-quarter, which ultimately defeats the whole concept of the "quarter" coin. Despite being a part of the United States, CWC-ville still issues this strange form of currency, along with US dollars. Because of this, Chris likely decided to refer to his currency as "quarters" so that it could technically count as US currency.</blockquote>

;quite
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' A fancy replacement of the word "right" or "correct".

<blockquote>''Arthur: Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Chris: '''Quite''', he is the psychic type, after all.''<ref name=CatKnight>[[CatKnight Interview]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adverb)'' to the utmost or most absolute extent or degree; absolutely; completely.

<blockquote> ''Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see '''quite''' a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.'' <ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

<blockquote>''For a hundred dollars? Th-that's, that's '''quite''', that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...''<ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

Origin: Chris infamously used this word, along with "indeed" ad nauseam in his interview with [[Arthur Spatchcock]], believing that doing so is essentially the same as speaking his language, British if you will.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== R ==
|-
|

;raincoat
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a condom.

<blockquote>''You ARE the woman...we gotta stop by [[Mal-Wart|Wall-Mall-Wart]] on the way for a "'''raincoat'''".''<ref>[[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "raincoat" is actually an archaic slang term for the word "condom".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/raincoat</ref> Given that Chris has been raised by two geezers his whole life, and that part of his childhood has consisted of [[Gilligan's Island|old TV shows]], Chris thought that people would understand what he meant when he states that his Mary Sues are having protected sex with a raincoat.</blockquote>

;[[random-access humor]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' non-sequitur.

<blockquote>''Punchy grew up in a dojo, where he perfected his punches. He is also full of '''random-access humor'''. He lost his tail in a brutal fight.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP5.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his brain is completely random, and it always spews out incoherent garbage. In his mind, this works in the same way a computer processes random-access memory.<ref name=FatherCall/>

</blockquote>

;rapier
[[File:ReldnahcTheRapier .jpg|thumb|Reldnahc the Rapier]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun, attributive)'' rapist, sexual assailant.

<blockquote>
''Now! My '''rapier''' friend, I would very much like you to get off me, please.''<ref>[[Sonichu 12]], [[:File:SchuComic12-1P60.jpg|page 60]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris-Chan Sonichu calls [[Reldnahc_Notsew_Naitsirhc#Fictional_biography|Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] his "rapier friend" in [[Sonichu 12|Sonichu #12]] after Reldnahc tackles him to the ground in a suggestive pose and touches his chest, thus (in Chris's hyperbolic mind) "raping" him. As a double double entendre, he could also be using the externally attested definition, as an adjective meaning "witty",<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rapier#Adjective</ref> and metaphorically referring to a kind of thin, sharp-pointed sword. This is incredibly unlikely due to Chris's basic understanding of the English language, and he most likely didn't know "rapist" is the term for one who rapes, not raper or rapier.
</blockquote>

;reality cartoon

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The universe.

<blockquote>
''Life is a cartoon; we are all the characters of the larger; the cartoons we make are part of our own universe; we're all a '''reality cartoon'''.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#"Life is a cartoon"]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris's life revolves mainly around [[Vidya]] and cartoons, it would make sense to him that the most believable explanation for the universe and everything in it is that it's all a cartoon. Likely related to Chris's known belief that [[Chris and reality#Fictional characters and media|all fiction actually exists in alternate universes]]. Chris's interactions with the [[Idea Guys]] made this idea seem even more plausible to him.
</blockquote>

;[[recycling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' the act of one ingesting their own semen to preserve their sperm count.

<blockquote> I '''recycle''' my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having [[Chris and science|very little knowledge]] of how the male reproductive system works, thinks that men can run out of sperm from masturbating or orgasming too much. Fearing the loss of "potential children", Chris actually thinks that by ingesting the sperm back into his body, his sperm count will stay in balance, thus, he is "recycling" it.

</blockquote>

;[[Redemption Arc]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's alleged period of redemption.

<blockquote> I am in my '''Redemption Arc'''. Please be kind to me, I have repented. All of you should be Soul Searching.<ref>[[:File:HarmonyCon Redemption Arc card.jpg]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Named after the common trope found in fiction, where a villainous character atones for past actions.

</blockquote>

;reeb
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|Glug! Glug! Glug!]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' beer or any other alcoholic beverage of the like.

<blockquote>''Then he glugs his '''reeb''', heh-heh, and then he conks out.''<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, thinking he's so [[Slow-in-the-minds|clever]], decided to censor any mention of the word "beer" in his comics, by spelling the word backward.</blockquote>

;Resident-Evil refrigerator

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The refrigerator in the previous Chandler Household.

<blockquote>''Kitchen very much blocked off all over... with the '''Resident Evil refrigerator''' right there.''<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to the fridge as the "Resident Evil" kind, because in Japan, the game ''{{w|Resident Evil}}'' is known as ''Biohazard''. Considering the quality of the household, that name may very well fit the description of the fridge in the state it was in before filming the [[Tour of Chris's House II|Second House Tour]].</blockquote>

;[[Respectable Frames]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's aviator glasses.

<blockquote>''Grandmother Glasses? These are Respectable Frames I have picked out from Wal-Mart.''<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris defends the pedo-glasses]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in [[Mailbag 20]] in protest of a troll disrespectfully calling his glasses "grandmother glasses".</blockquote>

;romps in the hay

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' sexual intercourse

<blockquote>''This page, by the way, was drawn before last March, so stuff Has Happened since then, it is all good. Go ahead and Muck It Up in your heads, Trolls; I Am BiSexual, and I Laugh at your Jokes. (Awesome Romps in the hay with him, as well as Cryzel)''<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has used this term since at least 2018.
</blockquote>

;[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The female counterpart of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]].</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Rosechu of CWCville, [[Rosechu]]. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the last name of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' character, Amy Rose, and "Raichu", the evolved form of a Pikachu.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== S ==
|-
|

;[[saga]]
<blockquote>1 ''(noun)'' An ongoing event within Chris's life.

<blockquote>''A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest '''Saga'''''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris was actually the first to use the term "saga" as Christorians know it today, using it as such when describing his Love Quest on the cover of [[Sonichu 4]]. It wasn't until the Miyamota Saga when the term was used by Christorians to describe ongoing events in Chris's life as we know it.</blockquote>

;salty
<blockquote>1 ''(adjective)'' showing more maturity or coarseness than is expected, especially knowledge of [[honest]] topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]].

<blockquote>''Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much '''saltier'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon a line from "Bowling Girls", ninth episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'': "But I'm not the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" "Salty" in this context derives from naval lingo, since the most experienced sailors would have greater exposure to both the saltwater seas and worldly experiences.
</blockquote>

;[[Scale of Respect|scale of respect]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his respect for other people.

<blockquote>''I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my '''Scale of Respect''' each by 2 points''<ref>[[Scale of Respect]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, like most other autistics, tends to view the world based on numerical values due to their lack of understanding of certain abstract concepts such as respect. Because of this, Chris made his very own numerical scale to decide on who should be respected, compared to who shouldn't.</blockquote>

;Scooby-Doo Detective
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Mocking term for amateur or faulty investigative reasoning based on misguided, simplistic or weak evidence.

<blockquote>''Of course, ONLY as far as all of you know, since the less than '''Scooby-Doo detective''' skills and lack of psychic power practice makes the majority, I am capable of thinking and processing faster.''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#What got Chris into Sonic?]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based on the Scooby-Doo animated series where the main characters, who are amateur teenaged detectives, often solved simple and predictable mysteries. </blockquote>

;seinor
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of senior.

<blockquote>''A cool Junior or '''Seinor'''-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An example of how the “i before e rule” escapes Chris.

</blockquote>

;self-epic
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' describing a situation which is epic, and at the same time related to Chris and his various clones.

<blockquote>''And I will square-off in the TRULY '''SELF-EPIC''' Battle between me, and my Dark Half.''<ref>[[An Important Update]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Chris and his Ego|Self-explanatory]].</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-masturbation
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Mass debating|masturbation]].

<blockquote>'''''Self-masturbation''' is really arduous and annoying.''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris decided to add the prefix "self-" to make it clear that he was stroking his own [[duck]], apparently unaware that use of said prefix is redundant (the term masturbation typically implies self-pleasure unless one specifies otherwise).</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-sexually active
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' in the habit of [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

<blockquote>''And Another Thing, yes, I will admit I was '''self-sexually active'''; WAS. You all turned me off of Sex LONG Before I even thought of coming out as Trans in ‘14.''<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A modification of "sexually active".</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;ship
[[File:Chillaxingcard.jpg|200px|thumb|An example of a "shipping".]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of two or more OCs interacting with or performing any given action towards one another, regardless of any romantic feelings.

<blockquote>''You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this '''Ship'''. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this '''Ship''' is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.''<ref>[[:File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An abbreviation of the word "relationship". Chris learned the term from the card game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]'', a My Little Pony fan game satirizing the popular internet trend of shipping. He used the game as another creative medium to sell items to fans, trolls, weens, and enablers.</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;shitful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' hurtful; defamitory.

<blockquote>''And this is the last time I will ever say anything in response to your '''shitful''' and hurtful comments and hatred for Hate's Sake!''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Shitful is a vulgar slang word, synonymous with words like "boat-load" or "truck-load". Chris may have seen the "shit" part of this word and assumed that it was a more profane version of "hateful". Disregarding its actual meaning, the word to Chris is used for situations that seem "shitty" to him.</blockquote>

;[[SLGBTQ]]

<blockquote>1. ''(acronym)'' an extended acronym for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) which includes "straights" and "questioning people".

<blockquote>''Considering your logo there, Texas will be feeling more love from the '''SLGBTQ''' community; give us props and Love, Lone Star State.''<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Hurricane Harvey and SLGBT]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first used this acronym, he didn't explain what groups the "S" or "Q" were supposed to represent, making plenty of people confused. Eventually, Chris revealed that the "S" represents '''s'''traight and cis-gender people, while "Q" represents "'''q'''ueers" or "'''q'''uestioning people". Chris believes that if he included straight people into LGBT, then those particular people would feel more invited to join into the community. Considering the fact that gay people are minorities, adding the "S" to LGBT only defeats the entire purpose of identifying people as LGBT in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a mentally handicapped person

<blockquote>''And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "'''slow-in-the-minds'''" on it.''<ref name=AWeekWith>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: While the exact origin of the term is unknown, slow-in-the-minds was first used by Chris in a high school assignment.<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Help This Unborn Child]]</ref> "Slow-in-the-minds" works as a stand in for the less-socially-acceptable "retard", so it's possible that Chris created this CWC-ism in order to self-censor.

</blockquote>

;slow-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' mentally retarded

<blockquote>''As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look '''slow-minded'''; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#February]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''OK, I can definitely name you a few reasons, like there was this one [stutters] …there was this one '''slow-minded''' individual named Tony. He was like as big as-he was as big and strong as an ox. He just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot, and he sometimes even-even-a couple of times he even spat on me, and he even bopped me on the back of the head once or twice during the whole-during the whole time I knew him there.''<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' stupid, but not quite retarded

<blockquote> ''I'll admit I have had some '''slow-minded''' moments. But I am certainly not totally retarded.''<ref>[[Father Call#Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:36)]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!
[[Image:SNERGEN FLERGEN!.PNG|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A phrase one may shout out when asked for attendance.

<blockquote>'''''SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!'''''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic9P6.jpg]]</ref>
''-What?''

''Uh...here!''
</blockquote>

Origin: An obvious example of Chris's [[CWC-isms#R|random-access humor]]. This weird phrase appeared in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], when the cast was asked for their attendance during a [[CWC-isms#D|Dating Education]] class. When [[Wild Sonichu]] was asked for his attendance, he blurted out this phrase as Chris's many attempts to be funny in his comics. Given Chris's childish sense of humor, it would make a whole lot of sense for him to include a character randomly blurt out a nonsensical phrase out of nowhere.</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>1. a long period of slumber

<blockquote> ''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.''<ref name=AWeekWith/></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', in the Super Sonic's Story cutscenes, after Sonic gets woken up by Tails: "I was on a snooze cruise, I guess!"

</blockquote>

;somecummpentydifferent
<blockquote>1. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce a change in subject.

<blockquote>''Anyway and now for somecummpentydifferent stay tuned for '''somecummpentydifferent''' — a bunch of good pushups!''<ref>[[Getting Foam Ed]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce use of [[random-access humor]].

<blockquote>''And now for '''somecummpentydifferent'''. BUUUUNG! And now it's Monty Python's flying elephants. Du tu du tu du tu du. Du tu du tu du tu du. Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away.''<ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Note this is the very first thing he says, so there's nothing to be completely different ''from''.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is trying to say "And now for something completely different" like John Cleese does on [[Monty Python]]. Suffice to say Cleese's ability to say three multisyllabic words in rapid succession exceeds that of Chris.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|somkey]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' The quality of having smoked recreationally, be it tobacco, marijuana, or some other substance.

<blockquote>''Thank our mayor, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler that CWCville is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or '''somkey'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A simple corruption of the word 'Smokey', used by [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] during their report on [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|Spring Break, 2008!]].
</blockquote>

;[[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]
<blockquote>1. (noun) The male counterpart of the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Sonichu of CWCville, Sonichu. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the name of the titular character of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'', Sonic, and "Pikachu".</blockquote>

;soo
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Very, Very much.

<blockquote>''Dear Blanca, I am '''soo''' happy that you were revealed as my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be''<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In writing, Chris often adds extra o's to the word "so" to prolong the "o" sound and show added emphasis. This has the (unintentional?) effect of mimicking the speech patterns of a Valley Girl or an effeminate homosexual. However, where most people would add two or more o's, (e.g., "I love you sooo much!"), Chris frequently only adds one, resulting in "soo," which makes the word look like it's supposed to be pronounced "sue".

This may originate from pamphlets published by [http://www.channing-bete.com/ Channing Bete], [[Autism|short and uninformative]] self-help pamphlets often handed out at churches, the last page of which often feature a summary headlined by "Soo…" Given his distrust of help from anyone other than [[Rocky]], it is not entirely impossible that Chris has read Channing Bete pamphlets occasionally.

This is one of many recurring jokes in the [[Sonichu Audiobooks]] in which the narrator pronounces words like "soo" as they are literally spelled, instead of how Chris intended them to be read.
</blockquote>

;soul-bonding
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Sexual intercourse as a means of purifying someone.

<blockquote>What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara's health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Coddling, Talking, and Supportive '''Soul Bonding''' to mainly Extend her Life, personally by Divine Intervention.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has somehow come under the delusion that having sex with his mother would "purify" her, and extend her lifetime, all through the act of bonding each other's souls.

</blockquote>

;soup beds
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Homeless shelter with beds

<blockquote>'' I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have '''soup beds'''. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS!''<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris tries to distill his "soup hotel" idea into its two components, but he mangles one of them by retaining the "soup" prefix.
</blockquote>

;sourdough region
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The crotch area

<blockquote>''Its weak point is still the '''sourdough region''', but it would take FIVE KICKS to get to it''<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In his Sonichu comics, Chris has decided to make the main weakness of the jerkops their crotch. The weakest of the jerkops take only one kick to be taken down, while higher-ranking jerkops like [[Jerkhief]], take five. The reason why Chris refers to this spot as the "sourdough region" is unknown, but most of his other CWC-isms already tend to sound so nonsensical to begin with, it barely even matters.</blockquote>

;spike on one's shoulder
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' refers to the act of holding grievances towards someone.

<blockquote>''There was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he had a '''spike on his shoulder''' against me.''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A confusion with the phrase "chip on one's shoulder".</blockquote>

;spot
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' A small amount.

<blockquote>''the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a ''spot'' of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris likes to retardedly incorporate British English into his sentences when he has the chance, possibly to sound more classy than he actually is. The phrase "A spot of X" is a British English idiom referring to a small amount of something.</blockquote>

;sticky dream
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A wet dream

<blockquote>''After falling back asleep Chris had a "'''sticky dream'''."''<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris claims that a "wet dream" actually refers to wetting one's bed as opposed to nocturnal emission.
</blockquote>

;straight path
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The quality of being heterosexual and cisgender

<blockquote>''And, besides, if you stray away from the '''straight path''', it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had an intense fear of "falling off the straight path". When he states this, he is essentially referring to being on the path to straightness, in the same way a normal person would refer to someone being on the path to success. Chris also had this unrealistic idea that being in contact with gay men would suddenly make him gay too, making him fall off the path. Possibly also an allusion to the phrase "straight and narrow" and/or the Biblical passage Matthew 7:14: "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;[[Sub-Episodes|sub-episode]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The side stories in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: A result of Chris's use of [[Chris and English#Television jargon|television jargon]] in his comics.</blockquote>

;sumbah
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Minced oath for "son of a bitch."

<blockquote>''Yo, Christian, thanks for saving my sister from that crazy '''sumbah'''''<ref>[[Sonichu Special 4]], page K-4</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Probably based upon "sumbitch."
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetbolt|sweetbolt]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pet name used by [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Ahh..that salad was great! What's wrong '''sweetbolt'''?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A sweetheart.

<blockquote>''I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your '''SweetBolt'''. :)?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first worked on his Sonichu comics, he tried to incorporate as many references to electricity as he can to match with the Pikachu part of the titular character. A portmanteau of the CWC-ism "sweetheart" and "bolt".
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart|sweetheart]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover.

<blockquote>''Oh, gee, I'm sorry Bionic, but back then I was na- I was naive on dating and all that, so I just didn't think of it at the time. But if you a '''sweetheart''', Meg has created quite a few foxy characters. If she's cool with it, you could go out with one of them.''<ref>[[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another cutesy pet name given to candidates of his Love Quest.</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An ideal sweetheart beyond the friend zone.

<blockquote>''For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a '''Sweetheart from the Ground-Up''', so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named Crystal.''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: As stated, Chris intended to use this weird phrase to indicate that he wants an ideal gal-pal well beyond the friend zone. Chris thought this phrase sounded so clever that he used it constantly.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== T ==
|-
|

;teenages

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The 13-19 age group; teenage years.

<blockquote>''Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all '''teenages''', as well as the, uh, gals.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's [[Future Message]], he attempts to talk down to just about every age group. In order to do this, he starts his video off with the quote above. Chris clearly couldn't think of a way to refer to teenagers, so he decided to refer to such people by "teenages". A butchering of "people of all ages".</blockquote>

;teir
[[File:Teir.png|thumb|200|Chris spelling tier wrong.]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of tier.

<blockquote>''$1 '''Teir'''''<ref>[[Patreon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another example of how Chris is unaware of “i before e”. In a June 2019 update, he managed to spell tier wrong throughout multiple descriptions, despite the correctly-spelled word being visible right on the page.</blockquote>

;telekinesis

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Telepathy, i.e. communication through long distances, usually via psychic or supernatural means.

<blockquote>''I’ve been communicating with her through '''telekinesis''', and she sounded very lonesome.''<ref>[[Silvana]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas tele'''kine'''sis means ''moving'' objects from a distance with psychic powers (c.f. ''[[wikipedia:kinetic energy|kinetic]]''), Chris has never used the term properly. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic]] [[Silvana|characters]] in the [[comic]] have both powers of telekinesis and telepathy, but Chris has only used the former to refer to both.
</blockquote>

;Temple

<blockquote>1. [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]].
<blockquote>''Food for Barbara is also appreciated, and Visitors who personally offer genuine Kindness and Good Intentions are all encouraged to visit the '''Temple'''.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In [[2019]] Chris designated his house as the "Temple of CWC Sonichu" due to his growing [[Messiah complex]].
</blockquote>

;That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' That was the final straw.

<blockquote>''And on top of that, literally doxing someone on [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]], because someone has a hold over [[Bismuth|Naught]] to the point of him having to feel very insecure about himself. And the topper, in my eyes, one of y'all sent threats to [[Praetor|Anni]]. Fortunately, she completely missed and overlooked that memo in her inbox. '''That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner'''.''<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the phrase in listing his grievances against some members of the [[Watchmen]].
</blockquote>

;theoretical ex

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' One of the trolls who posed as a potential love interest for Chris during the classic period of trolling, between 2008 and 2011; a catfish, generally-speaking.

<blockquote>''Yeah, it’s like, you know, even when I try to make a new relationship, uh, especially among the '''theoretical rex-, exes''' I had, I still could not tell which was which…''<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's history with the trolls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris started calling the trolls who pretended to be his girlfriends during the classic era "theoretical exes" around the time of his date with [[Catherine|Catie]]. When pressed by Cousin Al as to what he meant, he cited that people may not always be who they say they are on the Internet.
</blockquote>

;This Viral Event

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The worldwide Coronavirus ([[COVID-19]], SARS-CoV-2) outbreak in early [[2020]], which began in [[China]] on New Year's Eve [[2019]] and has since become the most severe pandemic since the Spanish flu of 1918. Regarded by Chris as a trivial excuse to cancel a perfectly good ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention.

<blockquote>''The Bottom Line is that '''This Viral Event''' is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong of mental and soulful intervals, and nothing else.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's [[Chris and religion|theodicy]] assigns any misfortune in the world to the Dimensional Merge. As the disease's spread has caused many governments to forbid large gatherings as a sanitary measure, it has become a [[Chris and His Ego|personal inconvenience to Chris]]. He believes that the pandemic will soon be stopped by [[OC|fictional characters]]' efforts,<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of dimensional merge]]</ref> making it nothing but a transient event.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|tobacky]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' tobacco or tobacco products

<blockquote>''If I could, I would take every last ounce of '''tobacky''', put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the Moon.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: American English slang, used by Chandlers since 1856,<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tobacky#English</ref> and for [[random access humor]] since 1928.<ref>[http://www.uwosh.edu/home_pages/faculty_staff/earns/song.html Back in Nagasaki Where the Fellers Chew Tobaccy]</ref> Chris hates the act of smoking cigarettes so much that even uttering the word "tobacco" makes him feel uncomfortable, so Chris uses this as a retarded {{w|minced oath}}.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

;tom-tom
[[File:Duck Pounding Some Tom-Tom.jpeg|thumb|A duck pounding some tom-tom real hard]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia.

<blockquote>''MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR '''TOM-TOM''' TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from the short Adult Swim music video, ''Pound my Tom-Tom'', which served as the intro to the cartoon, ''Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1DVoH0Njow</ref> Considering Chris barely understands anything adult, the fact that this was meant to be a bad euphemism, which the character, Lucy, used to avoid directly mentioning her vagina, flew over his head.</blockquote>

;[[Tomgirl Pictures|tomgirl]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A femboy, which is a person who identifies as male though still cross dresses.

<blockquote>''I am '''Tomgirl'''.''<ref>[[:File:I_am_tomgirl.jpg|PSN comment as of 6 April 2011]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: analogous to "tomboy", i.e. a girl who likes boy-stuff.

</blockquote>

;too many crooks

<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of dissatisfaction with an overabundance of evildoers.

<blockquote>''Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." '''Too many crooks!''' Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon the idiom, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Although that idiom means something, this is just an incomplete sentence.
</blockquote>

;took my idea for a fall

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Refers to ruining Chris's [[Love Quest]] plans.

<blockquote>''I am very mad and upset, because that JERK took my idea for a fall, just like that XXXXX at PVCC did!''<ref>[[CWC%27s Diary#2004]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this in his poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]] as well as a 2004 diary entry. Appears to be a mangling of "took me for a fool."</blockquote>

;[[Toxic Trio]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A combined name for the Watchmen [[Naught]], [[Kyle]], and [[MKRNightVee]]

<blockquote>''Hey, @everyone. For starters, in light of the recent events @Neko has been through, and the light shedding on the toxic trio, an announcement with care for now:
To all of you in my flock, I highly encourage each of you to begin and continue your own individual self-work in enlightenment. For amongst you all, as the Dimension Merge/Collective Shift draws closer upon the main event with the removal of the veil between our universe halves, each of you has your own inner potential and strength. We have no need for war or quarrel at all with the OCs and individuals of C-197, as I state to all of those individuals in regard to us of 1218.''<ref>[[:File:TheKnights1stLayer-26Jun21 - Chris intro.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used by Chris when he joined The WCT's [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server after WCT convinced him to distance himself from the "trio".</blockquote>

;triage

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' ménage à trois; a romantic relationship between three people.

<blockquote>''Magi-Chan Sonichu, Silvana Rosechu & Mewtwo / A Loving '''Triage'''''<ref>[[January 2018 Facebook posts‎‎#Mewtwo and Magi-Chan married]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A corruption or misspelling of "triad", possibly influenced by the ending of "ménage". "[[wikipedia:Triage|Triage]]" is a real word with a completely different meaning and unrelated etymology.
</blockquote>

;trollin' stupid

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Very stupid, in a manner pertaining to trolling.

<blockquote>''Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping... '''trollin' stupid''' pickle suited... nigger!''<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to have coined this phrase for his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]] lyrics with "trollin'" serving as an intensifier along the lines of "fucking."
</blockquote>

;true and honest

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' something [[Honest content|honest]].

<blockquote>''I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are '''true and honest''' feelings. SO THERE.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first used the adjective with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and the adjective was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== U ==
|-
|

;ugly growth

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to refer to his own penis negatively.

<blockquote>''"Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, I can literally even shove the head of the '''Ugly Growth''' Up Mine!"''<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Un-clit|un-clit]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A piercing Chris got on his perrinium as an immitation clitoris.

<blockquote>''It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my '''un-clit'''.''<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: During his Tomgirl years, Chris was, and still is, very desperate to gain female body traits such as bigger breasts, wider hips, a fully functioning vagina, etc. In order to get a part of the work done, Chris got a piercing on his taint as a sort of pseudo-clitoris, showing more of Chris's limited knowledge of female anatomy. </blockquote>

;uncouth
[[File:Uncouth Twat.png|thumb|Most uncouth!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' unlikeable, lacking good manners.

<blockquote>''And, by the way, among which, You give the Males a Most Terrible and Horrible Name in your behavior. Most '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Trump is most Immature, '''Uncouth''', and Not Valid to be president.''<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.''<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''You, sir, are '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#Trump, you mocked the mentally-challenged]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''All of you are nothing but immature, borish, '''uncouth''', and damned Neanderthals.''<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests#Chris Rages On]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Not Sexual Fantasy; Friendships, You '''Uncouth''' Cad. Hmpf!''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Unleashing his inner Brit]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And as it Had been My fault on that #NationalGirlfriendTweet that started the whole mess, that was Why I chose whole-heartedly to Harass Me instead of Doopie or Anyone Else who was being harassed with the mis-content from Years Ago from me taken Out Of Context, Mind you, because Harassing Anyone at Anyone else’s Expense is Just Plain Wrong, Bullying, and '''Uncouth'''!''<ref>[[October 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''And it was ignored by you that Talulah Bankhead coined the term for Tabitha, you '''Uncouth''' Twat.''<ref>[[August_2017_tweets#Tabitha addresses CWC flame war]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I agree it is shameful of these people to have accounts just to haze at me and all others, Soo '''uncouth'''.''<ref>[[NightStar2891 tweets#Twitter spam for Tabitha]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I miss Jessica. You Trolls Scared Her Off by either Hacking or Reporting her Facebook. You '''Uncouth''' Cads!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Still missing Quinn]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As demonstrated, Chris uses this word way more than any 21st-century [[American]] would. It is often speculated that Chris picked up this word from an ''MLP'' episode, where Applebloom and Applejack are talking about what the word "uncouth" means.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-SrQ-Oz1k4</ref> Seeing how this conversation alone is somehow a staple in the Brony subculture, and how Chris is one of those Bronies who sees more [[Night_Star#Chris_spills_the_beans|meaning]] in the show than it actually possesses, Chris likely picked up this term due to how foreign and smart it sounded to him.

Chris is also notorious for his use of British English whenever he tries to make it seem he knows what he's talking about. It is also fairly likely Chris may have adapted this word solely because he thinks British English words will make him sound smarter.
</blockquote>

;[[UNGA-WUNGA]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A sexual chant from the [[Cherokian Clan]].
<blockquote>''There is no quote to directly cite the use of this CWC-ism. This CWC-ism was used in one of Chris's art pieces appropriately named "UNGA-WUNGA"''</blockquote>
Origin: Comes from a horrifying art piece Chris drew of himself banging [[Jackie]] against a tree while a group of Cherokians masturbate to their orgy.<ref>[[:File:Unga_Wunga_Time.jpg]] (NSFW)</ref> As for the questionably racist phrase itself, Chris simply stated that it was "just a random phrase I randomly picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref></blockquote>

;unto
<blockquote>1. ''(preposition)'' Archaic or poetic form of the word "to".

<blockquote>''Now that it has been made fully clear to me, I am now able to devote myself fully '''unto''' you, Julie.''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 7]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX]] caused '''unto''' me!''</blockquote>

Origin: Another one of Chris's autistic ways of sounding smart, possibly in imitation of the Bible. (c.f. ''[[Chris and hypocrisy|Do unto others...]]''). Chris uses this form more frequently than most English speakers of the 21st century should, even when it sounds unwieldy.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== V ==
|-
|
;vaginatables

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia

<blockquote>''There is no quote to cite the use of this CWC-ism. Chris used this CWC-ism in an e-mail address "ILuvVaginatables@aol.com".''</blockquote>

Origin: A strange hybrid of the words "vagina" and "vegetables", purely for Random-Access Humor.</blockquote>

;vege-marmite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Vegemite

<blockquote>''Certainly not a '''vege-marmite''' sanwich. Lol''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-372</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A retarded pun made by Chris to state his distaste for veggie marmite. Coincidentally, vegemite is essentially marmite, yeast extract from brewing beer turned into a pungent, salty paste, with vegetables and spices added in.<ref>{{w|Vegemite}}</ref></blockquote>

;vestite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A transvestite person.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and '''Vestites'''; ID as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites/></blockquote>

Origin: In the above post, Chris intended to write the words "transgender" and "transvestite" in the same sentence without duplicating the trans suffix. He did so by adding a space between the prefix and the respective endings. It is worth mentioning that "Vestite" is a word in Latin, and simply refers to being clothed, without any connotations regarding cross-dressing.</blockquote>

;[[Virgin with Rage|virgin with rage]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An individual who is sexually frustrated

<blockquote>''Tell me why
I'm stuck as a '''virgin with rage'''!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"''<ref>[[So Need a Cute Girl]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The idea of being a virgin and not having a sweetheart was something that greatly upsetted Chris. He would throw tantrums after losing a potential sweetheart, and thus missing out on an opportunity to lose his virginity.</blockquote>

;[[Virginia is for virgins]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase that pushes the idea that the citizens of Virginia won't allow Chris to get a girlfriend solely due to his autism.

<blockquote>"'''VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS''', NOT LOVERS!"<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: An intentional butchering of the phrase "Virginia is for Lovers". His belief that the state of Virginia is behind some kind of conspiracy to prevent him from finding true love has started since attending [[PVCC]]. While there, Chris has gotten himself putting up Attraction Signs, loitering with said signs on campus, and even creating a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter series]] in order to attract potential sweethearts. Seeing how all of this violated the school's rules and policies, he was sent directly to the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]] in order for her to straighten him out.<ref>[[Virginia is for Virgins#Origins]]</ref> Of course, Chris took this to be another instance of him being discriminated, solely for being autistic. This, coupled with the fact that he's already failed on several occasions to actually get to date any of his his female friends in high school, reinforced this belief. </blockquote>

;VOTES FOR WOMEN!
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase shouted in protest of pictures depicting women with penises.

<blockquote>'''''VOTES FOR WOMEN''', STEP IN TIME! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME! NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME, VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P52.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a sash Mrs. Banks, a character from [[Mary Poppins]], had worn. Chris clearly took this banner to simply refer to any kind of mistreatment towards women, rather than the fairly obvious implication that she's actually fighting for the right to vote.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''See Also'': [[CWC-isms#W|Women's Rights]]
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== W ==
|-
|

;Walter Grisby
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A man's name often employed in acts of random-access humor.

<blockquote>''"Is this '''Walter Grisby'''? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what? DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"''<ref>[[Random-access humor]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The retconned name of the character formerly known as [[Wes Iseli]].

Origin: Unknown; thought by some to be a reference to the Cartoon Network show ''Ed, Edd n Eddy''. A character in the PC game ''The Sims 3'' goes by the name of Walter Grisby, but the game's release post-dates Chris's first uses of the term by some years.
</blockquote>

; Warroir of Love
[[Image:WarriorOfLove.jpg|thumb|300px|History's greatest warroirs.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an advocate for spreading love and peace.

<blockquote>''"People! You do not understand! By Not blocking the Trolls, you are Promoting Hatred; They don't always side with Love. I Am '''Warroir of Love'''."''<ref>[[BlockTheTrolls#Campaign]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misspelling of the word "warrior". Chris considers himself a "warrior of love" because he believes that he is the [[Chris and kindness|voice of kindness]]. Most likely derived from the derogatory term "Social Justice Warrior", a term used for individuals who advocate for social justice and equality.
</blockquote>

; water on the rocks
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|thumb|200px|Literally a drink on the rocks.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' water poured over Chris's [[magic stones]] for drinking.

<blockquote>''#DrinkWater; Filtered or Bottled, preferred; Quartz, Rose Quartz, or Amethyst optional to enjoy it '''on the rocks''' (held in place with aluminum wire).''<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''staying hydrated with more than 101.4 ounces of filtered '''water on the rocks''' within a #Glacce bottle''<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#GFuel and meditation]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In accordance with his [[Magical thinking|New Age]] beliefs, Chris purchased a Glacce water bottle for $80+, which features a crystal display set inside. He later placed one of his [[magic stones]] into it, crudely held in by aluminum wire, and refers to drinking from the bottle as "water on the rocks."
</blockquote>

;well-breasted
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Having large breasts.

<blockquote>''And her image dawned upon me in my imagination, starting out as the '''well-breasted''' pink electric-hedgehog (Pok'emon) with the long Raichu-like tail, I drew her outfit onto her in red and Battery-Charged Blue.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Rosechu|CWCipedia article on Rosechu}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusion between "well-endowed" and "large-breasted".

</blockquote>

;witching hours
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' The time between midnight and 4 AM that Chris cannot fall asleep during.

<blockquote>'' I know that I'm gonna be more effective with the '''witching hours''' during the night once again, whether I'm asleep or not, okay.<ref>[[Animated Everfree Message]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: May have been picked up from Chris's increasing interest in the [[Magical thinking|occult]]. Generally, the phrase refers to the midnight hours, with the term being inspired by the ancient belief that supernatural events, like witches, demons, and ghosts, are at their most powerful at midnight. Chris adopted the phrase in reference to his [[Biological clock|unusual sleep schedule]].

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#B|biological clock]]
</blockquote>

;Woahly
<blockquote> 1. ''(interjection)'' Expression indicating surprise.
<blockquote>'' Who is it Rosey? The Stew's almost ready and I... '''Woahly'''..!''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu15-2019draft-p11.png]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Portmanteau of "woah" and "holy... (as in the beginning of saying holy shit)," found in [[Sonichu 15]].
</blockquote>

;woman up
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' The female equivalent of manning up.

<blockquote>''Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and '''woman up''' [Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"] respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!''</blockquote>

Origin: Used in the second part of Chris’s Autism Tutorial, where he insultingly attempts to rally up all autistic people (regardless of their functionality) to form proper friendships, all while missing the point of “manning up”.
</blockquote>

;[[Women's rights]] (or Women's Lib)
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Any kind of behavior towards women that does not involve abusing them physically or mentally.

<blockquote>''Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the '''Women's Rights''', For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.''<ref>[[Other documents]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The right for women to not be depicted with a [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]].

<blockquote>''FOR OUR '''RIGHTS AS WOMEN''' AMONG ALL PEOPLE, I WILL OVERPOWER THOSE SLANDEROUS JERKS!!!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P58.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' The act of women protesting by stripping down naked.

<blockquote>''Well, once we get our centerfolds shot and uploaded, hopefully those bastards will see and admire our beautiful lights.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Yeah, and if nothing else, we can still have a lot of fun trying.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''With our lord's support in our peaceful protest, we can win this fight.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Victory for '''Women's Lib'''''.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P51.jpg]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of sexism is botched up beyond belief. His zeal towards the rights of women is believed to have originated from watching the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins. He was particularly influenced by Mrs. Banks, who has expressed distaste for unequal treatment for women in 1910 London. As to be expected, Chris missed the point of this part of her character, and instead used this in order to justify his treatment towards the women he meets. Chris also believed that the term "sexism" only applies to forms of violence against women, and not necessarily representing in a condescending manner.

</blockquote>

;wooden nickel
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Acoustic guitar.

<blockquote>''I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old '''Wooden Nickel'''; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In real life, a wooden nickel is a now defunct form of currency used during the Great Depression. His use probably refers to the phrase "don't take any wooden nickels" - that is, he is calling the acoustic guitar a semi-worthless imitation of his Guitar Hero controller.
</blockquote>

;worse
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Severely; extremely, in an adverse manner

<blockquote>''IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are '''WORSE''' Overprotective.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;worst mud, muck and bodily fluids

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Mud, among [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other disgusting things]].

<blockquote>''The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids.''<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: First used by Chris in a June 2012 Facebook post ranting about that damn [[Michael Snyder]]. Refers to having his good name or reputation dragged through the mud, with "bodily fluids" added in an attempt to garner sympathy.
</blockquote>

|-
|
;wrath
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Great [[Chris and anger|anger]] or rage. Considered one of the [[Chris and religion|Seven Deadly Sins]].

<blockquote>''Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards Vivian has gone unheard or otherwise SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY '''WRATH'''''<ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Strength sufficient to lift an office chair.

<blockquote>''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR!!! FEEL MY '''WRATH'''!!''<ref>[[Power]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==X==
|-
|
;X2-checking
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Double Checking
<blockquote>''Just '''X2-checking''' if you got the drawing I left you.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-11-2017-chris-spotted-at-bronycon.33187/page-35#post-2511049]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Comes from x2 meaning times two, which means double to Chris.</blockquote>

;XXX-tended
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sexually explicit
<blockquote>''ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE TRUTH BOMBS AND ROSEY ROSECHU's POST-INTERSEX-TO-FEMALE TRANSITION AND OPERATION NUDES IN THE '''XXX-TENDED''' CONTROVERSIAL VERSION OF MY BOOK NUMBER EIGHT IN 2008!''<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>
;XXXXX
<blockquote>1. ''(noun, censorship)'' censorship of the word "bitch"
<blockquote>''Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT '''XXXXX'''!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Chris's only instance of this peculiar censorship is in his [[diary]]. In it, Chris repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX", clearly as a censorship of the word "bitch". Why Chris chose to replace all of the letters in the word with the capital letter "X", instead of using asterisks remains a mystery.</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Y ==

</blockquote>
|-
|
;y'all should know me by now
|-
|<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction to complete strangers.

<blockquote>'''''Y'all should know me by now''', but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000.''<ref name=csm/></blockquote>
Origin: His second message on YouTube, addressed to the ED trolls. He would use it several more times after this, possibly making this into his tagline. The introduction is made under the assumption that Chris is [[Chris and his Ego|already well-known]]. May have been partially derived from ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', where a character similarly begins a speech by saying, "You all know me."
</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;yea and merrily
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used to open videos where Chris is feeling [[Messiah complex|messianic]].

<blockquote>'''''Yea and merrily''' to everyone. Welcome to this.''<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Hey everybody! '''Yea and merrily'''.''<ref>[[Simple Existential Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stupid play on "yea, verily", an antiquated phrase meaning "yes, truly", often assumed to have been said by Jesus in the {{w|King James Version}} of the Bible. Although the word "verily" is often used by Jesus in the King James Version, the phrase "yea, verily" never actually appears anywhere in the King James Bible. It does, however, appear in the {{w|Book of Mormon}}.
</blockquote>

;You don't rape a hamster!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase condeming the raping of women kept as sex slaves, but apologizing for acussing someone of doing so.

<blockquote> ''It was just like you know...he had to—he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham—giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. '''You don't rape a hamster!'''''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the video [[I am Alive]], where Chris dispels "rumors" that were being propogated by trolls who were vandalizing the CWCipedia. In the video, he apologizes to [[Alec Benson Leary]] for misunderstandings about [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|acussing him of keeping women in his basement]], comparing them to hamsters.</blockquote>

;young at heart

<blockquote>1. ''(noun, attributive)'' An individual with childlike characteristics; a childish person.

<blockquote>''Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [sic] 21 years old and I play because I am '''young at heart'''. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in Animal Crossing.''<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I am '''Young at Heart'''; a concept I have kept within myself since childhood.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''We, the '''Young at heart''' stand alongside our Liked and Cared others.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris more often than not advertises his childish nature as being "young at heart". As if this was a more positive quality of himself, he even goes as far as using this as a reason for girls to fall in love with him in his [[attraction signs]]. This is because Chris can't tell the difference between being a child at heart and being childish. In his mind, people who are considered "childish" actually lead a happier and more exciting life, since he believes that childlike people are more willing to show off their [[kindness]] and are generally more eccentric. In reality, adults who are "young at heart" generally have a somewhat innocent outlook of life and are generally interested in things considered suitable for children, yet understand their responsibilities as adults, something which Chris has failed to do since graduating [[High School]].
</blockquote>
|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Z ==
|-
|

;zap to the extreme
[[Image:ZapToTheExtreme.png|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Go out and be brave.

<blockquote>''Go! Sonichu! Go out and '''zap to the extreme'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''Now everyone stay green and go out and '''zap to the extr-r-r-r-r-eme'''. Have a lovely day.''<ref>[[A New, Fun Trick]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase is first used on the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where Chris's self-insert tells Sonichu to "zap to the extreme" as if Chris and Sonichu were in a bona fide [[Pokémon]] tournament. Chris would then end up using this phrase time and again, usually completely out of context of its original meaning.
</blockquote>

;zapbud
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A fictitious flower found in the ''Sonichu'' canon; Rosechu's favorite flower.

<blockquote>''Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose, though a '''Zapbud''' is the flower that heals your woes.''<ref name=OdeToRosechu/></blockquote>

Origin: Essentially the result of Chris attempting to create a mythology around his ''Sonichu'' comics, he created some of his own flora as well. Because "zapping" was a very common theme in the earlier issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris thought about naming his flora after this one theme. The term has ironically become popular with trolls and enablers, where they name made-up characters and places after it.</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Yes, my blossoming '''zapbud'''. That's why we are here.''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In this context, the term is used the same way a female lover may be compared to a flower. This was clearly an attempt to make the flora have a greater significance by making it sound like something beautiful.
</blockquote>

;zombie-like

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' To be riddled with dementia.

<blockquote>''Also, Barb is literally a Zombie-Like Living Body with little remaining of Barbara (her Soul) within her anymore; that living body is Running on Fumes at this point. She CAN NOT Drive anymore, regardless of Van loss; she has the fridgid mental activity and physical ability like a scared deer in headlights nearly ALL the time since even before June, 2021.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|Jail Letter]] where Chris seems to imply that during his affair with his mother, she might have been declining mentally.
</blockquote>

|}

==References==

<references/>

==Navigation==

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2

2026-08-28T00:29:24Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2''' is the second of the calls between Chris and [[Alec Benson Leary]], which took place on 28 [[January 2010]].

==Summary==
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

Alec lets Chris ramble on about the ads on the [[CWCipedia]] again before the topic changes to subjects that make Chris feel uncomfortable in his [[Mailbag]]. On the subject of [[Rosechu]]'s gender and pointed tail, Chris attempts to get Alec to believe he meant for the original Raichu's tail to be dull all along and becomes angry when Alec points out that he is lying.

Chris goes on to discuss how he feels that [[Asperchu]] is a [[Chris and reality|living, breathing creature in another universe with thoughts and feelings who wouldn't want to be named "Asperchu."]] Alec claims that Asperchu is unable to have a desire to be named something else because Asperchu doesn't exist, and Chris responds by repeatedly calling him "[[naïve]]" for not believing in a cartoon world similar to that seen in ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}''.

They both agree to disagree, then move on to the lack of updates in [[Sonichu]]. Chris blames his [[biological clock]] for his inability to upload new pages and explains how the [[Chris and writing|creative process]] of his work requires a pain-staking thirty minutes of typing dialogue. Chris admits to using Photoshop, but says that since his comics are [[Chris and art|hand-drawn and hand-colored]], in his [[TRUE and HONEST]] opinion (and that of [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]], apparently) ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is the superior comic. Alec points out that he draws his comics by hand, even if it's with a {{w|graphics tablet}}, and that his art doesn't have any less "personality" than Chris's work.

Chris returns to complaining about the [[CWCipedia]] adspace, hinting that the only real reason he's negotiating with Alec at all is to get the Asperpedia ads removed. Alec brings up [[Simonchu]], and Chris falsely<ref>[[:File:Fkinglie.png]]</ref> denies [[Simonla]] was ever inspired by Simonchu. When that Alec explains that Evan wants Simonchu and Simonla written out of the comic, and that Evan may consider taking [[Chris and the law|legal action]], Chris replies with "I'll think about it". Unsurprisingly, Evan did take [[CWCipedia#Closed (again) due to theft|legal action]].
{{Clear}}

==Alec Calls Chris==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:archiveorg|chrisalex-2}}
| Stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Reality|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Website|text}}
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
}} </center>

[[Image:comparison.jpg|thumb|He might have a point here]]
=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hi, is this, uh, is this Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, this is Christian Chandler, may I help you?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, this is Alec Benson Leary again, how are you?

'''Chris:''' Oh! I would have expected you to call at 9:30, uh, but anyway...

'''Alec:''' Oh! I actually did try to call at 9:30, didn't get an answer so I thought I'd try again, you-you're quite a difficult man to get a hold of, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmm... Yeah, I can talk for a few minutes, so let's try not to belabor this conversation.

'''Alec:''' Not at all, I don't... I don't wanna drag anything out. Um, well first I'll ask you if you have anything, uh, specific that you want to bring up, cause I know that you had to go kinda abruptly last time, and I thought maybe that there was a point you didn't get to or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay... Wanna go ahead with that?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well first off, you know...you know I have, um...I have gone to the CWCipedia recently, its the Ads are still super-sized, but, they are more of a mockery towards me now, and I do not appreciate that.

'''Alec:''' Yeeeaaah, I'm sorry about that, [[Mao]] is kinda, he got a little bit of a temper, you know, h-he-he is kinda mad about this whole... the [[mailbag]] situation, emails getting deleted and all that sort of thing. You know, I-I-I um, I saw in, uh, [[Mailbag_45#Chris_NEVER_deletes_letters|one of your mailbags]], that you said that I delete, or uh, modify a lot of my e-mails. I don't know where you got that impression, actually, I don't do that. You know, I try to answer every e-mail I get thoughtfully, and fully.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's probably easy for you... probably easier for you because, yours are not as... mean and cruel and condescending as the ones I have been getting.

'''Alec:''' Have you been getting a lot of, uh, mean ones that don't go into the mailbag? Cause, the ones I see, uh, a lot of them, I mean, they do get kind of, uh, critical at points, but I... I dunno, it seems like they been, they just kinda wanna, you know, have some questions answered.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, But I wish they wouldn't have'ta go so critical.

'''Alec:''' Like, uh, what do you mean, like uh, what are some of the things that you found just kinda crossed the line?

'''Chris:''' Like-Like they talk about... Like they talk about [[copyright]] issues and crap...

'''Alec:''' [''Trying to talk''] Well that is...that is kinda of an important issue, I mean...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] I HAVE-but I have my own [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|copyright registration]], that slip of paper I got from the [[Virginia]] Library of Congress...

'''Alec:''' Yeah, uh, I noticed one of the copyright related e-mails was um, someone asked if they could see, just some letter, or some evidence [[Sega]] or [[Nintendo]] gave you, uh, permission to go with [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]], and that kinda stuff for [[Sonichu]]'s origin story. Um, you know, if you provided those, that would silence those kind of e-mails right away.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' I mean, you do have copyright of Sonichu, but you would still need to show Nintendo's permission to publish it, you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...

'''Alec:''' 'Cause it has Pikachu in the origin story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah, I think that would be a good idea to show everyone in the mailbag, you know, that would shut up that line of questioning right away.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but there's... also... the homosexuals, and uh, other topics, ugh, I can't remember them off the top of my head. Yeah, there's quite a few.

'''Alec:''' Like the accusations that [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|Rosechu is a boy]]? I think, that was kind of a big thing-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Alec:''' People were going after-

 '''Chris:''' But I, I mean, yeah, that's only before the [[rainbow]] strike, I mean, the point where that Raichu- female Raichu is within the rainbow, that would be after the rainbow strikes that Raichu.

'''Alec:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' And with the power of the- with the power of the [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]].

'''Alec:''' Well you know-

'''Chris:''' I-it was with a point, it was as point to the end of that tail, in the two panels that preceded it, the tail was definitely dull at the end.

'''Alec:''' Uhh, well, you know, the- as far as I know, the original comic does have a point tail, like a male has, and that's- that's still on [[CWCipedia|your website]], isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I-

'''Alec:''' You know, one thing I thought about was the gender differences in the Pokémon, that didn't, Nintendo didn't do that until a while after you created it, Sonichu, right? So, I mean, I just don't get why you didn't go with that. That would've been a good explanation, but instead you kinda [[lie]]d to your [[fans]].

'''Chris:''' What do you mean, lied? I did not lie, I mean, you look at the two pictures before the rainbow hit, the tail is dull on the tip.

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, I see that in your picture that's on the front of the CWCipedia, but on the original comic he had a pointy tail, or she, I mean.

'''Chris:''' The original-

'''Alec:''' I've seen the original.

'''Chris:''' That's because- look, outside, [[Chris and art|that's just a line that is going outside of the square]], [[Chris and reality|whatever goes outside, does not necessarily count.]]

'''Alec:''' Uh, it doesn't look like it goes, like, outside the panel here, but... I mean, y'know... I don't really know. I know that you don't... you probably should have corrected that mistake, but you left it in. I mean, I'm just trying to- I mean, I just kinda wish that thing had gotten nipped in the bud. It kinda sucks, but this is like, a huge point of contention right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Al-also, you know, another thing, I've actually found, I've actually found a [[Sonichu Forum|forum of my loyal fans]], and I have just read some posts about the ads that have been placed in the CWCipedia, and they really don't like 'em either.

'''Alec:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' So, I'm not alone in that.

'''Alec:''' Well, alright. Well... you know, uh... if they wanted to buy the ad-space that's, I'm sure they could too. I mean, again, y'know, the ads, I'm gonna keep trying to talk to Mao but it's really his area. Mao's kind of the boss of the ads, I'm just kind of the artistic genius. Mao does the business work.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that definitely do not appreciate that- that drawing of me, in a [[Butt garments|diaper]], and then just copying and pasting my signature to that.<ref>[[:File:Cwcbaby.jpg]]</ref> That's just wrong.

'''Alec:''' Well, you know, um, I noticed that even after our last talk you continued referring Asperchu as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. I thought we had that cleared away. I thought you knew he was Asperchu, I mean Asperchu is my original creation.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe so, but still-

'''Alec:''' And I think you still have the impression that Asperchu is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], and you know that's not true, right? Asperchu is not a Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, okay, but still think about this, y-y-y-you picked- you gave him the condition of [[Aspergers]].

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct. Oh! That's another thing. I think you, I think you thought that I gave everyone that appeared on my comic Aspergers, but only Asperchu has it. Just Asperchu.

'''Chris:''' [Sighs] Well-

'''Alec:''' Okay, you were gonna say something?

'''Chris:''' A-anyway, still, I think you could understand, since you have Aspergers and conservely, with my Autism, that we would pref- we don't really don't wanna be treated as sep- as treated as quote-unquote, "[[Slow-in-the-minds|special]]" because of our mental conditions, we want to be treated as equal individuals.

'''Alec:''' [over Chris] Well, that's certainly true, but how do you think I've been portraying Asperchu as being treated, y'know, different?

'''Chris:''' Try putting yourself in the shoes of your- of your Asperchu. If- if you, I mean, not only would you want to be treated as an individual equal, but-

'''Alec:''' That's how I portray him, he does everything normal people do.

'''Chris:''' But you would not want a name that empathizes the mental condition, you want a name that is more manly-

'''Alec:''' Well y'know, Chris, [[Christopher's name change|we don't choose our names. Our names are given to us.]] Asperchu never chose his name. I mean, think of it this way, the name "Asperchu," if you think of that as a detriment- I don't, but if you interpret the comic that way- think of it as a personal, sort of, character flaw, if you will, that he has to work to overcome. [[Chris and writing|All good characters have character flaws.]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean-

'''Alec:''' And, and, it's fiction. Sometimes characters don't always live the happiest lives in fiction, but that's part of what makes good fiction.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmm, yeah, but still, think about it, what if your-

'''Chris:''' -parents had named you "Asper?"

'''Alec:''' Uhh...

'''Chris:''' Just to foretell that you had Aspergers, that you would have Aspergers.

'''Alec:''' Well...

'''Chris:''' You would not want that [''[[Speech impediment|stammers]]''] you were being treated- wanting to be treated as an equal in society, you would not want to be called "Asper" because-

'''Alec:''' But Chris-

'''Chris:''' Because that emphasizes the mental condition you have.

'''Alec:''' Okay Chris, that's part of the, again, character flaw, Asperchu has things weighing him down, he has curses and... y'know, not [[Chris the Shaman|literal curses]], but he has detriments to his life that [[Stress|weigh him down]] as a character, and he has to work to overcome those. That's part of what makes a good character. You wouldn't make a character that's just [[Chris-chan Sonichu|all powerful and perfect in every way and has no real problems ever]], would you? That'd be kinda boring. Complex characters have problems that they overcome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it takes, it takes time, too, to overcome a serious problem, I mean, you just renamed him "Mitch," and that wouldn't do it, y'know you can't just go and snap your fingers and just wave the problem away and- 1. That's not realistic, and 2. That doesn't make for good fiction, I mean, all the drama you're building up, y'know, your readers really wouldn't really like that if you just kinda hand-waved it away, don't you think?

'''Chris:''' Alright, yeah, okay, but still-

'''Alec:''' Think about it like this: {{w|Superman}} is named "Superman" because he's super, right? And y'know, Superman is one of the most- [''is cut off'']

'''Chris:''' I mean- as- as-as an individual, within his own world, outside of your control, Asperchu would not want that name, he would be in agreement with me, and would probably want to change his name to something like "Mitch."

'''Alec:''' Ah, but the thing there is, Asperchu is not outside of my control because it's a comic, and I am the creator and, y'know, manager of his comic universe. So, I- as his creator I decide what Asperchu wants and what he doesn't want, and what his personality is like.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, don't you think?

'''Chris:''' Fairly. I mean, have you ever watched the movie ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}''?

'''Alec:''' Yes I have, it was a good movie.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, you got the whole {{w|Toontown|toon world}} there, and within that, it coincides with the comic as well, and [[Dimensions|every individual comic, published or unpublished, drawn altogether. And within the world, actually, would reside your Asperchu]], but he would be with his individual thoughts since you gave him an adult attitude within his, within his individual thoughts, he would- he would hate having the name of Asperchu 'cause it emphasizes his mental problem.

'''Alec:''' Umm...

'''Chris:''' His special condition. And he's like, his process of wanting to move from that, and become more acceptable in society, that he would not want a name that would make him feel...

'''Alec:''' Okay...

'''Chris:''' Like as if he's still living it, even after he's fully recovered from it.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but Chris, um, ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'', that was still a movie, and everything in it was predetermined by the movie writers and director, and there is no alternate cartoon world in reality, I mean, cartoon characters don't actually think and feel things. Okay, here's a question-

'''Chris:''' Well, you obviously are naïve about that, cause you're not fully underst-, you're [[Chris and reality|not understanding that possibility of that universe actually existing]].

'''Alec:''' So you do believe that, um, when an artist creates a cartoon character, that character becomes real? That what you're saying to me?

'''Chris:''' Within that universe, yes.

[''[[Trolls|Raucous laughter]] can be heard in the background'']

'''Alec:''' But the universe is fake. I mean, the ''Asperchu'' universe exists on paper and in my computer. It's just, it's whatever I write it to be. Oh, here's a question for you. Okay, so if you think a character would want, you know, an appropriate name, a good name, not a name that calls them out on something, or sets them back, um... "Sonichu" is the name of a species, correct? I mean, there's Sonichus and Rosechus, those are a species, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, he was the first one, the first original Sonichu, and she was the original Rosechu-

'''Alec:''' So, wouldn't they want their own-

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] And-and they each came up with their name, on their own, [''contradicting [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where [[Kel]] gives [[Rosechu]] her name''] and they did not need a nickname to go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but Chris, if you're a human being would you be comfortable just being named "Human"? Or "Man"? I mean, you wouldn't- would you be comfortable if the name "Christian Weston Chandler" didn't exist, and you were just called, "Man," or "Person," or something?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, y'know ''Homo sapiens''-

'''Chris:''' Yeah but I would [''Chris and Alec talk over each other'']

'''Alec:''' ...''Homo sapiens''.

'''Chris:''' Yes, but still-

'''Alec:''' [[Homos|Homo, homo]].

'''Chris:''' I was not the first human being, and I actually had parents who gave me that name. Sonichu came in, he had to come up with his own name-

'''Alec:''' Well, Sonichu had you who gave him that name didn't he? I mean, within [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]], you, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], are Sonichu's father, right? I mean, why wouldn't, why wouldn't your cartoon self give him a name?

'''Chris:''' Uh, that's the cartoon me, versus the real me.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but isn't the cartoon you... Okay, like you said, cartoons are basically real, I mean, so shouldn't the cartoon version of you be just like you? Wouldn't you want to give your child a name? I mean you-

'''Chris:''' I did give him a name, he's the original Sonichu, so therefore, it's as such.

'''Alec:''' But all the other Sonichus also have nicknames, or secondary names, so, so the first Sonichu, I gotta think is feeling kinda left out.

'''Chris:''' Well, he doesn't feel left out. He accepts that, and he's happy with it, just as Rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, I don't think Asperchu feels left out because, y'know, he's just my cartoon character. He's my property, y'know, he's my intellectual property, that's what he is. You can't have a person as property, so you know, he's my property, he's not a person, he doesn't feel things, he doesn't think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well still, what if you could actually could see- what if you could actually could see the child with your girlfriend or wife? Then, would you feel that you own that child even after you have raised him from being a baby, to, let's say, late teenage years where that child would feel more like an individual and independent being?

'''Alec:''' [''clearly frustrated with Chris's nonsense''] Chris, you do understand, that a child, a human being is substantially more than a comic character, right? They're not the same thing, they're not even close. Of course I would name a child, children are real, and children are not our property, I mean if I had a child, I would give it all the love and support it needed, but it is it's own person, he or she, I should say. Where as a comic character is just, it's whatever you draw on paper or in Photoshop. I mean, I draw Asperchu on paper, that's the only place he exists. And then I upload him onto my computer and that's where he exists, and he exists on the web. So I have a character, he grows, but he's never a person.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well anyway, this is confusing to think about. Okay- well- yeah...

'''Alec:''' We can agree to disagree.

'''Chris:''' Okay, what if as- what if the shoe was on the other foot, what if Asperchu created you?

'''Alec:''' Well then, I'd be a comic character, myself, and I wouldn't have any thoughts and feelings, so that's a moot point.

'''Chris:''' You think that comic character [sic] wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?

'''Alec:''' NO!

'''Chris:''' You ''are'' [[naïve]].

'''Alec:''' Chris, you have told me that you think a comic character is fundamentally as, you know, much of a person as a real human being, '''that''' is the naïve thought.

'''Chris:''' No, you are-

'''Alec:''' I'm the writer, I'm... I'm like the [[god]] of the ''Asperchu'' world. I decide what goes on in Asperchu's world, I decide, who and what Asperchu is and what he thinks and feels, if anything, which he doesn't, because he's still just a character on paper, y'know, when I put the pen down, Asperchu stops being there. Nothing exists in Asperchu's world that I haven't drawn.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Boy, you are-

'''Alec:''' And it's naïve to think that there's anything more.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm, uh- I think we should agree to disagree on this point.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Um, because we both have our own thoughts on that. Um, I kinda wanna ask you about- I'm actually getting some letters about ''Sonichu'', uh, about why you're not updating daily, and I was kinda curious about that.

'''Chris:''' I- for your information, I am updating daily. I draw two pages- I draw and color my two pages a day. I can't help if I don't have access to my computer or if I can't get to it right away, besides which, my [[biological clock]] has been fickle on me and it's making me go- making fall asleep earlier.

'''Alec:''' Well, I understand-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Alec''] And it's difficult to rearrange my schedule, and get back in- in a sync-synchronized routine like I would be.

'''Alec:''' Maybe you could get an alarm clock. You know, I- I'm just kinda curious, like, I know it takes, what, like an hour to do each page, about what you spend, I would kinda guess. Um, I'm just kinda confused why you'd spend an hour to draw a page, but not take that extra sixty seconds to upload it. I think consistency is important thing-

'''Chris:''' But, wait, it could take- it takes more than sixty seconds to scan it in Photoshop, then upload it. It would probably take like half an hour for all that work.

'''Alec:''' I didn't know you did Photoshop work with your pages. What do you, what do you use Photoshop for, if I may ask? I'm just kinda curious. I thought you just-

'''Chris:''' T-t-to change it from more hand-written text, to more legible typed text.

'''Alec:''' Y'know, If I remember right, I think kinda one of the criticisms you had about ''Asperchu'' was that it was not completely hand-drawn original. Because I do use Photoshop in part of my creative process, but it sounds like you do kind of the same thing. Which is, you know, that's fine. Digital, digital media is where our world is going, but I thought- see I thought you drew it all on paper and uploaded it.

'''Chris:''' I did draw it all on paper. The only part I edit in Photoshop is the text; what you ''read.''

'''Alec:''' 'Kay, I thought so. Well, it just seems a little hypocritical, but you do use Photoshop in the creative process, but you criticized me for it. Don't you think?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the hand-drawing and you draw everything on your Photoshop with your computer mouse.

'''Alec:''' Well I don't- here's what I do. I do sometimes draw the pages on paper, um, I'm kinda trying to shy away from that because, our society wastes so much paper, so I'm trying to be a little more socially responsible. But what I do, I use a {{w|Graphics tablet|tablet}}, and I draw on that, and that's basically the same thing as pen and paper, it's, uh, what I draw goes directly on the computer screen. So I don't use a mouse.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, it's the same thing-

'''Chris:''' Okay, but still, it looks crappy compared to mine. Even [[Barb|my mother]] agrees.

'''Alec:''' Oh, hey, hey, hey, c'mon that's a little insulting Chris, what do you mean, "crappy"? I mean, my mother says my comic is the most beautiful comic she's ever seen too but, I kind of think that's because she's a supportive mother. You know, mothers are supposed to support their children in their endeavors. And I have, y'know, got 20,000 fans now that love it too. None of them are my mother. My mother doesn't actually use a computer, I just show her the print-outs. [''silence''] Y'know, I get complimented on my art all the time.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it's okay to disagree. I just, I'm curious why you think it's crappy?

'''Chris:''' Because it's computer-drawn. It's not originally hand-drawn.

'''Alec:''' I just told you, it ''is'' hand-drawn. It's hand-drawn on a tablet. What do you mean, it's not an "original hand-drawn?"

'''Chris:''' It don't have the old-fashioned original pencil or pen markings, that's what I have.

'''Alec:''' So, because I don't have, like, smudge-marks on my paper, is that what you mean? That was another reason I went with the tablet, because I got a lot of smudge-marks on my paper when I was doing math and I had to spend extra time erasing it. Y'know is- okay, by comparison, could I say that, um, are [[Son-Chu|cars]] not, y'know, true original transportation because, y'know, people should be using old-fashioned horses? You use Photoshop for lettering and effects, we're-, we're one in the same here, Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And-and again, even if... I just don't see why, y'know, the exact... y'know, method I use to draw determines the skill of my art. Weren't you, um, I remember recently, didn't you put, like, a live picture of yourself in your comic for some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' theme? I mean, you didn't draw that part in, did you?<ref>A reference to "[[Revive Zordon]]" from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]</ref>

'''Chris:''' I-I-It at least allows me, to put myself in my work. See, a bigger difference between drawing with a tablet or mouse versus hand-drawn is that you see more personality with the orig- with the pen-marking, and color—and marker coloring versus what's... what's digitally entered-

'''Alec:''' Well, if you feel that way. If you feel that way, I respect your opinion, but, I mean, y'know, 20,000 fans can't be wrong, and not a single one of them have ever said anything.

'''Chris:''' Okay well-okay well, l-let me give you a better example on that. Okay, say you got, uh, two letters, two exact same letters from a person, from the same person. One hand-written, and one computer typed and printed, which one would you think would have more personality, or would appeal to you better?

'''Alec:''' I honestly don't remember the last time anyone wrote me a hand-written letter. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a hand-written letter, I type everything, every kind of- I mean, typing looks more professional.

'''Chris:''' Professional, yes, but-

'''Alec:''' I mean, hand-written wouldn't get you a job, or anything.

[[Image:MoarCharacter.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
'''Chris:''' At least I have had all the practice of hand-writing, and that- there's more character, more personality put into it, in hand-writing versus what you would just see, everyday in a mono-synchronic sense.

'''Alec:''' Well, you know why you see it everyday, everywhere, Chris? You see it everywhere, because it works. Because that's what people prefer.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think we're getting kinda off-topic, I mean I just- I kinda wanna go back to, um, I understand it can be difficult to get to your computer and upload things, you know in a timely fashion, sometimes, you're not at your computer, things like that, but, I mean, Sonichu's your franchise, a lot of fans I know are getting kind of, y'know, fed up that you don't have pages uploaded everyday. I mean, Sonichu is your, that's your franchise, right? I just, I dunno, I mean, I got a lot of stuff going on in my day too, but I make sure to get at least one or two pages uploaded everyday. Which has been more difficult since my school term started, 'cause I'm in full time school, and, y'know, I work still, I'm still working at the station but... that's just a recommendation, but... again, I know it's difficult, but I recommend that you try. That's all I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I am drawing- I have been drawing the pages, and like I said, I cannot help it if I can't upload on some days, but at least I do upload them in the bulk on when I can upload.

'''Alec:''' You know, for a while, for a couple months, you were uploading most everyday, weren't you? I mean, has something, has something, has your schedule gotten busier recently?

'''Chris:''' I've been [[Biological clock|falling asleep earlier]]. And with that, it's hard- and with that it's harder for me to readjust my schedule.

'''Alec:''' You know Chris, if I fell asleep on my job, I'd probably lose my job. I mean, you know, Sonichu is supposed to be your big franchise, right? I mean... if I fell asleep while drawing Asperchu and I started missing days, I would buy myself an alarm clock. Or I would upload them earlier, before I knew I was gonna get tired, or whatever.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it's just-

'''Chris:''' Anyway, anyway I haven't been able to get my schedule around and I just haven't been able to get it in sync yet.

'''Alec:''' What's uh... if I may ask, what's... has something been going on that's, uh, kinda throwing your schedule for a loop? I mean, you-you haven't made videos in the past couple of days but you know prior to that, you were making videos fairly frequently, mostly attacking me.

'''Chris:''' Originally did- originally when I did the videos it was not necessarily on a daily basis, that's not like, journal, a video is not like a journal to me.

'''Alec:''' Well but, you know, if you spend five, ten, fifteen minutes making a video, that's time you could be uploading a comic. But instead you make videos attacking me.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Pl-plus, the battery power on my digital camera is fickle.

'''Alec:''' What does your digital camera have to do with uploading pages? I'm saying you shouldn't be using the camera, you shouldn't be making videos.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You know why I haven't made any videos, Chris? It's 'cause I don't have time, I'm uploading pages. That and- that and I don't wanna make [[death threats]] to people on the [[Internet]], that's not a...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I mean, you know- you know, you really hurt my feelings when you started doing those Chris, because, like I said you started as my inspiration and a couple months later you became my [[troll]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I know you have trolls, you know, it sucks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It really sucks to have people attacking you like that, but you became my troll.

'''Chris:''' [''exhausted''] Alright well... you know, how 'bout you just tell Mao that I... if he just... I'll leave y'all alone, let y'all do your thang... y'all take your ads off my website.

'''Alec:''' That's just not a... that's not a sound business move for me, Chris. Those ads are bringing in a lot of viewers.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] So, put 'em on another website.

'''Alec:''' Well, what if that website tells me that, y'know, they don't want them there, then should I move to another website, and then another, and then another... Mao's job is to bring in fans for me, that's what he's doing and he's doing it well, and that's why I keep him-

'''Chris:''' Well, Mao- Mao never asked me ''before'' he could- before he put anything up there or before he paid off [[Jack Thaddeus]]!

'''Alec:''' Well, he doesn't have to, that's the way ads work. You buy adspace that's publicly available. Advertising is not under your control.

'''Chris:''' Ye-yeah- But I was- but I was never there to witness that monetary transaction, I was never there for that quote-unquote "agreement." And by the way-eh, by the way...

'''Alec:''' You don't own [[CWCipedia|the site]], Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You don't own that site. Right? I mean, the money from the ads go to keep the site up, that's my understanding.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Actually, you're ''wrong'', you see, Mao ga-put- gave that €2,000 directly to Jack Thaddeus. And Jack Thaddeus actually put that €2,000 ''into'' the CWCipedia funds, so therefore, Mao never saw his money in his money in the CWCipedia funds, they just went straight to Jack.

'''Alec:''' Um, I'm not really sure. I've never spoken to Jack, I don't know anything about what he and Mao talked about, y'know I'd kinda like to help you out, honestly I would, but I'm still a little... I'm a little miffed that um... even after we had a pretty good talk last time, but you still kept going with this whole "[[Mitch]]" business. I mean, you took my character, and altered him. You say, you say that I didn't get permission to use Sonichu, but you didn't get permission to use Asperchu either.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Alec:''' Or [[Simonchu]]! I-I-I almost forgot to mention that, Evan wanted me to talk to you about that, about using Simonchu. Y'know, Simonchu was his creation and you used that without permission. And he asked you several times, not- to get rid of Simonchu and [[Simonla]], or whatever her female form is. But-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, Simonla was never very inspired by Simonchu... I took an original [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], I changed her to a ground color, gave her the complexion, added an armadillo shell, and then a few drills in appropriate faces- places.

'''Alec:''' So kind of how I took a [[Sonic]], and make him yellow, and gave him a [[That Goatee Will Grow Back|goatee]] and [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], and a [[Buddha belly]], and thus was born Asperchu. And, it was- you thought it was a parody, but it just happened to be... that kinda what you're going with, for there? I mean, why didn't you just say that to Evan in the first place, 'cause he has been e-mailing you for a ''long'' time.

'''Chris:''' I-I told him- I responded- I told him that in response- in response to why those messages in the mailbag, but apparently, he had not read that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uhm... let's see, I'm looking at the Simonla page on your CWCipedia here, um, you say that... I'll just read what it says here: About on or before August 26, [[2008]], I received an e-mail from Evan George, uhh... submitting his Sonichu Fan Art to me, then later submitted his idea for Simonchu, it did not strike as good at first but for a few months, I wanted to create a ground type, um... so from Simonchu, I created Simonla Rosechu.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu]</ref> That's on the Simonla article for your CWCipedia. I mean that's, smoking gun, Chris, that's proof, that you used Simonchu as a base.

'''Chris:''' [''groans'']

'''Alec:''' I'm... y'know I'm not trying to attack you with this but I really think this is evidence, that you should get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, write 'em out. 'Cause the facts are right there Chris.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually it was not like that, I typed it in because Evan was badgering me as such, and it just stuck in my head, and pretty much stuck... when I typed it in originally.

'''Alec:''' Why would that just stick in your head, why would that happen? Why would it stick in your head, unless it's true?

'''Chris:''' [''trying to think of an excuse''] I put it in there to make a [[parody|mockery]] out of him!

'''Alec:''' Well, then you kind of... kind of lied about it to people, didn't you? I mean, 'cause everyone else thinks that's the [[Honest Content|honest truth]].

'''Chris:''' Well, I can stick- well I can change that and fix it.

'''Alec:''' Doesn't matter, you already established it. I mean, when it comes to, like, [[copyright]], and that sort of thing, Chris, I mean, the one thing that matters more that anything else is documentation, and history. And all of your documentation shows that you used Simonchu as inspiration. You acknowledge legal liability here. Whether it was a joke or not, you wrote it like it was real. And Evan's been pester-

'''Chris:''' [''big sigh'']

'''Alec:''' ...ing me to talk to you, 'cause apparently you're ignoring his e-mails... although you ignore my e-mails too. I mean, like I said, it was a pain just to get a hold of you. I mean, for a guy who has so much to say to me, you are hard to get a hold of.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, you, you, I'm just I wanna let you know, that you do need to comply with Evan's demands, 'cause he's talking about litigation, and that if he wants to go get a lawyer over this. He said that he'd, that he'd back off if you acknowledge, in the comic and write Simonchu and Simonla out, and y'know, say that they will be done and gone forever. He has the copyright for Simonchu. I mean, would you be willing to do that? Write 'em out?

'''Chris:''' I'll con- I'll think about it.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well don't think too long. I mean, this is a serious issue.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I'm just- I'm just trying to give you advice, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Alec:''' I don't wanna see litigation come out of this.

'''Chris:''' Hmm... anyway I'm feeling tired right now.

'''Alec:''' Okay well, maybe I'll let you go, um... you have a good night, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Alright, goodnight.

'''Alec:''' Goodnight.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|Chris and Alec Call 1]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|}}

=Sources=
<references/>

=External Links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?57fb2b3pkmd8xmw Audio download]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXvUS4XA-2s The Call on Youtube, part 1] Working link as of the 25th January 2022
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4uaGUvLnmg The Call on Youtube, part 2] Working link as of the 25th January 2022
{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2026-08-28T00:29:14Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and the second to last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==
Alec calls Chris, at the latter's request, to discuss the inclusion of [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] in the [[CWCipedia]] ad space. Chris, naturally, wants the pages taken down, but Alec explains the many ways in which Chris reneged on their earlier agreement concerning the removal of Asperpedia's ads. From there, the conversation spirals out into a lengthy discussion of Chris's laziness, hypocrisy, bigotry, and dishonesty, until [[stress]] finally overwhelms him and he refuses to continue.

Some of Chris's strangest psychological issues find prominent display here. For instance, his difficulty accepting the fact that his fictional characters are exactly that - fictional - leads to a bizarre passage where Alec is able to swamp him with guilt regarding the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It takes several minutes for Chris to come up with a partial admission that his characters don't actually have a life of their own. Chris's repetition of the idiom "killing people left and right" suggests a very minor [[CWC-ism]] (Chris likes idioms).

On more everyday topics, Chris claims to be spending some time lately cleaning up his family's [[14 Branchland Court|disaster area of a house]], [[Lies|although there has never been any corroborating evidence to confirm this]]. Of course, he describes simple household maintenance tasks in tones most people usually reserve for the torments of the damned. He also claims to have some 30 pages of his comic in the works for publication on his birthday, February 24, but can't come up with a decent explanation for why he wouldn't upload at least some of those pages sooner and maintain a more regular update schedule. (In the end, he managed to upload only 20 of the promised pages, and they arrived a day late.) When Alec tells Chris that he has seen the video tour of his house, Chris panics and mashes buttons on his phone in a desperate attempt to disconnect from the call. (How Chris [[Honor roll|managed to believe that would disconnect the call and not simply pressing the "End" button]] is a mystery.)

Chris's fear of [[homos]]exuals seems to remain in effect, despite his recent claims of a change of heart on the subject. While at one point Chris says he now "sees them in a more positive light," he apparently still wants to see all the homos vaccinated and turned into decent, honest straight people. Chris claims that this will save them from going to hell, but he's unable to cite any scriptural or other basis for this belief. Alec points out that Chris is unfairly stereotyping homosexuals in the same way other people might stereotype autistics, a point that was likely lost on Chris two or three minutes after Alec made it.

Eventually, just as in their [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|previous phone call]], Alec's comments become ever-so-slightly pointed, which is enough to drive Chris into a full-speed retreat. He manages to muster a polite goodbye instead of simply hanging up, but he is clearly in no mood to face any more harsh reality.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|nKZogX_Q0BY}}
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Hi Alec.

'''Alec:''' So uh, [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec, but Alec wins''] I got your e-mail, uh, looks like you want to talk. What's, uh, what's up?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, uh, just to let you know that I'm uh, that I'm in the middle of dinner right now so we'll have to make this short. But, ahh, yeah, I am a bit, uh, concerned that you have continued with the, ahh, oversized ads on the [[CWCipedia]]... I mean those- the smaller banner ads- that was that was okay. I would have accepted that- I would have accepted that on a daily basis. But, no, you had to add- you had to go and... [''Alec begins to talk over Chris'']

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' add-

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' a whole-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' page-

'''Alec:''' ''CHRIS!''

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Alec:''' You asked me to call you... ''right'' at 9:30 and when I do, you're [[obesity|eating dinner?]]

[''Alec sounds understandably annoyed.'']

'''Chris:''' Well, I wasn't sure, because I'm...

'''Alec:''' What are you eating?

'''Chris:''' I'm having some chicken.

'''Alec:''' I- ugh. Chris, [[Chris and his ego|if you're going to ask someone to go out of their way for you for something you should probably... actually allow them to do so and not act like you are inconvenienced when they do.]] That's just a suggestion. But I-

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' But I- well... I-I-I think [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec for this whole sentence''] maybe, if you actually want to have a serious discussion- that's why I called... but... maybe let the chicken wait until we're done with our call, how about that? Cuz' I don't like calling you only to hear that you have something else to do even though this is the exact time you told me to call.

'''Chris:''' Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' So. So. So, why don't we have our talk, and maybe the chicken will get cold, but you can microwave it when we're done.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So we had the understanding that we were not going to go back to the oversize ads again.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Okay, well, I can explain that. Do you remember how I told you that if you met my requirements exactly, I would remove the ads, but if you failed to meet my requirements, the ads would get worse? Do you remember when I said that to you?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes...I...that...

'''Alec:''' So you failed to meet my requirements. You did meet Evan's requirements, apparently. Evan is happy with you, and I'm proud of you for doing that, because Evan is, he's satisfied that you killed Simonla. However, I am not Evan, and I had different requirements than Evan.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, why are you not satisfied?

'''Alec:''' Mm. Well, there's a few reasons. First and foremost, you did not state all of the things that I told you to in your apology video. Like how Sonichu cannot make money in its current form and is a doomed franchise and you will need to start over with something original. You made no mention of that. Alrighty, next, your [[I am Alive|last apology video]] was... well, "insincere" is kind of too lenient, if I called it that. It was just, it was just insulting. I mean, you obviously felt absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Even though you swore up and down to me when I talked to you that you did. But I'm pretty sure you just wanted to finish the phone call, and you thought that you could just read things off a list and that would please me. Oh, and then you hung up on me, I think like five or six times.

'''Chris:''' And I did, the last one I did apologize for that in the e-mail I sent you.

'''Alec:''' Um, but you hung up on me multiple times. Chris, I think that you believe, I think you believe that if you do something wrong and then you offer a superficial apology, you believe that gives you license to just do it all over again. You know, that's not what apology is about, right?

'''Chris:''' That is not what apologies are about.

'''Alec:''' Okay. And the reason you hung up on me is because you were trying to avoid me. You were trying to just brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I will admit that, the last one, and I apologize for that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. So, if you want that apology to mean anything, then in the future, including this call, and if we talk again, you are actually going to have to stick to that word and not ever again attempt to brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' That make sense? Now. Let's talk about those ads for a bit. If you notice, they really aren't ads for Asperpedia anymore. What I started, I started a new comic, called [[Sonichu Revolution]]. And that's actually what I'm using the adspace for. And what Sonichu Revolution is, it's actually, it's like a reboot of Sonichu, see, since you aren't uploading pages I thought I would do a nice thing for your fans and use my ad space to keep your fans happy.

'''Chris:''' [''has been trying to interrupt''] Well, no, I am, I am doing the pages now. Listen, your comic pages, they should, they should stay on your website, your website alone. I do not want your pages on my website that only shows my pages.

'''Alec:''' Oh, it's kinda too bad that I bought ad space on your website, when I gave you multiple opportunities to get out of me having web space, er, ad space on your website. You didn't take them. I can do what I want with my ad space.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' How many times did I, was I gracious enough to give you an extremely easy way out of all of this?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, not sure. Define, define "easy."

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, by "easy" I mean, how many times did I lay out a very clear, very specific set of requirements that I had of you, and where I promised that if you followed those requirements, exactly, then I would remove all my ads and I would do my best to stop Evan from, you know, attempting to sue you. Evan's, you know, in the past, he's happy now, but my ads are still an issue. And you know, I asked you to be sincere about the apology, which you never were.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, just to let you know, okay, well, I understand for, yes, uh, you did offer me with, you did tell me very descriptively, very detailed-ly, what you wanted, a number of times. I'm gonna est-, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna estimate like about five to 10 times at this point. Because we have not talked over the phone that much. For maybe 20, or 20 max, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, we've talked... Well, it's not quite that high. I think three or four times I specifically laid everything out for you.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, well, okay, at this point, yeah. An overbid is a good estimate.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Alright, I'll give you that one. So yeah, multiple times I gave you opportunities to, you know, to handle the situation and to come out scot-free. And, if I remember correctly, I did talk about how you are the luckiest person in the world, to have competition like me, who would be so generous and go out of his way to help his competition. I mean, a lot of other companies would have just blown you out of the water and not thought twice about it. But, you know, I like Sonichu, or I used to like it, back when you actually updated it, and I know that it does have some fans still and I wanted to see it continue. Because I don't want to just take over everything. I don't want to be the only artist out there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That's not fun. You kind of want to be the only artist in existence, I don't know why you want that. Why do you want that, anyway? Why do you not want other artists to exist?

'''Chris:''' Um, I never said, I never said that I did not want other artists to...

'''Alec:''' Well, you said it with your actions, if not with words directly.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, maybe...

'''Alec:''' I think we talked about that one time. Actions are louder than words, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, perhaps my actions were misunderstood in this case...

'''Alec:''' Ooh, not misunderstood in the least! Oh, no, your actions are very clear. You slandered and smeared me as much as you possibly could. You put all of your effort into trashing me rather than building up your own comic. There's... If you can convince me there's some way to misunderstand that, then you know, by all means try, but as far as I could see that was a pretty clear message. It's hard to misunderstand that, it's hard to misunderstand, you know, you repeatedly hanging up on me.

'''Barbara:''' [''Distant background''] Who are you on the phone with? [''She continues to occasionally make background noise'']

'''Chris:''' I know, I...

'''Alec:''' You've been out of commission for like three weeks, you haven't done shit for your fans. When are you going to come back with your comic?

'''Chris:''' I, I am, I, I still, I am, I have been working on my comic, for your information. I am up to pages in book number 11 where I have drawn that far, and I'm about halfway colored through all those pages which I drew up.

'''Alec:''' How many pages is that?

'''Chris:''' That's over 30 now.

'''Alec:''' Over 30. Really. How many days since you started that particular 30 pages? Has it been, like, what, two weeks? 15 days, around there?

'''Chris:''' Around there.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uh... I'm not really sure if asking this is going to be useful, but why would you partially complete 30 pages instead of, say, completing and uploading 20 pages? Or 25?

'''Chris:''' That would hap-, that would happen to make up for lost time on on my birthday, which is this coming, which is the next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what about your birthday? What are you going to do with it?

'''Chris:''' I'm going to upload all those, all those, all those pages, all the main pages in a bundle, in a bunch, on my birthday, which is next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, until then I think I'll just keep uploading ''Sonichu Revolution'', because I want to please your fans, even if you don't. Chris, why, why would you...

'''Chris:''' I gave my new, I put up a new page yesterday as well. The last page I had...

'''Alec:''' So that... That, yep, I saw that, actually, that one page, plus I think you had two pages where you killed Simonla, so that's three pages total in like three weeks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, anyways...

'''Alec:''' I do two pages a day. That means I've uploaded, in the past 15 days I've uploaded 30 pages of my own. And it's... When's your birthday, like eight days from now? So I'll have another 16 pages up, so that's 46 pages...

'''Chris:''' Well, you are, you are mistaken, we're not talking about, we're not talking about eight days, my birthday is on the 24th. Of February.

'''Alec:''' Oh. My mistake. So six days. Well, I'll have 12 new pages by then. In addition to the 30 I've already uploaded.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, I didn't know when your birthday was.

'''Chris:''' Well, it's specifically stated on the, on my bio page on the CWCipedia, and in a couple other places. The 24th of February, 1982.

'''Alec:''' Hey, Chris. Chris. When is my birthday?

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I do not study your bio, I did not study your bio page...

'''Alec:''' Well, Chris, Chris, it's on my bio page on the Asperpedia. Why wouldn't you know it?

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|Well, I did not make an effort to study you, because...]]

'''Alec:''' I mean, if I'm supposed to know your page, don't you know mine? Chris, I'm kinda hurt.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I apologize for that, and after we're done here I'll go to your bio page and learn, and learn with my mind when your birthday is.

'''Alec:''' Nah, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it. I'd rather you work on pages than go look up info about me. Because, you know, I actually don't know your birthday because I've been working on my pages rather than, you know, looking up your bio. Um, yeah, so, I do really have to recommend that you, um, begin uploading those 30 pages immediately. Like as soon as we're done with the call or whatever. It, just, get to work on it. Stay up all night if you have to. Get those pages up. Because, here's the thing about the way fans work. If you leave your fans in the dark for a week or two weeks or a month or however long, it really doesn't matter if you're partially completing something. Because if you don't put out any product, then your fans have nothing to work with. Have you ever heard of the game ''{{w|Duke Nukem Forever}}''?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, you said ''Duke Nukem Forever''?

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Well, you know the ''Duke Nukem'' video games? You ever played any of those?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I have seen, I have seen samples of that game.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Well, the company that made those, they were working on a game called Duke Nukem Forever. That was going to be their next great title. And they were working on that for actually about 15 years. And they kept promising, "Oh, you know, we've got the engine built, we've got the characters designed, we've got all this built, all that's left is for us to release it." And they never released it because they kept retooling and tinkering with it. And finally the company actually went out of business. So now there won't ever be any other Duke Nukems. And if you keep doing the same thing, Sonichu is going to go out of business. Well, not permanently, because I have Sonichu Revolution, so it'll live on in some form.

'''Chris:''' Well, yes, well, your, yes, well, still, your Rev-, your Revolutions are not the original, are not the original Sonichu pages, of which only I can draw up and tell.

'''Alec:''' But what they are is existent. And the fans appreciate that. Your pages are nonexistent.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And if you stop Sonichu, then, you know, the fans are going to want something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I get, well, don't worry, you will see, you will see, all those pages, and the completion of the 10th book.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, does this mean...

'''Chris:''' In fact, it's a...

'''Alec:''' I'm a little, I'm a little confused, how, what, do you remember when I told you... Well, of course you remember, I brought it up plenty of times, about how you really need to either do some sort of major reboot of Sonichu, or else just come up with a completely different comic? Because of all of the elements that you stole from other franchises? Are you still thinking about that? Because if you're going to finish book 10, then...

'''Chris:''' I have been thinking about that, actually.

'''Alec:''' What do you think about it?

'''Chris:''' Some of those, some of those changes will be talked about in the clip show that's gonna be in book 11.

'''Alec:''' Um... So, is book 11 gonna be like a transition from the current Sonichu to another one?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, yes, a transitions.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Oo-kay. Um, well, that's not really what a reboot is about. See, what you're doing, like a transition, suggests that the Sonichu that exists now is going to be, like, part of the same universe or world as whatever new Sonichu. What a reboot is, is a hard stop. You reset completely. You start over from scratch. Everything that came before is just, means nothing, it's null and void. Like, for example, the Spider-Man movies, they aren't in the same world as the comic, they were sort of a reboot. Because they told everything over from the beginning.

'''Chris:''' Hm. I see.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I mean, I know it's... I can sympathize with you on this. I mean, you've been working on Sonichu for 10 years now, and the thought that you have to abandon it completely and start over with something new, I understand that that's kind of a scary thought. But it is true.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Have you, have you, uh... What do you think of Sonichu Revolution, by the way? Have you been reading it? I'm only like seven pages in right now, so...

'''Chris:''' I have taken a look at it, and I did not like the way you were killing characters left and right! That's no good, it's just terrible! Don't go killing, don't go killing, don't go killing characters, that just does not, that just, that just does not, that just does not work. It's like...

'''Alec:''' Chris...

'''Chris:''' It's like doing Zombie X-Men, [[Wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]].

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I remember that. That was actually a pretty popular comic, wasn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's actually on the [[PlayStation Network]] digital comic download, only on the [[PSP]] right now.

'''Alec:''' Well, I've seen it in stores, though. Well, it was pretty popular, was my point.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, that's, anyway, that's the point. That's still, like, you know, killing, you're just like killing everybody left and right. It's not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, how many, how many comic books and TV shows and movies and, you know, whatever other media have you seen where characters die? Do you think they're all bad?

'''Chris:''' Yes, well, well, yeah, they are bad, because that's just totally sad. And plus, to do it in such a gory way is just terrifying. It's like any, it's like any of the ''[[Saw]]'' movies. It's especially like, especially like the first trap in ''{{w|Saw VI}}''.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies?

'''Chris:''' That was horrifying.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies, Chris? The ''Saw'' movies?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I liked them, I mean I enjoyed the falling, the telling...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] You liked them? But there's death in it! How could you like a movie that has death in it, Chris?! Death is bad. You said death is bad.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm not talking about...

'''Alec:''' Death is bad.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I mean, yeah, I'm not talking about the death part, I did not say I liked the death parts, I liked the building of the character of John Kramer. In the movies.

'''Alec:''' But the point is, you still liked the movies overall, right? I mean, you went to see them, you'd probably see them again?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were hor-, yeah, I mean, I will admit they are horrifying, and they do frighten me, but think about, but think about, think about...

'''Alec:''' Hence the genre, horror, if it's horrifying it's doing its job, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, but I mean, still, that's Hollywood magic, you know, that's, you know, the people, the actors in those movies are still, are still alive and well, they just...

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, right, I forgot, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|because comic characters are real people]] and apparently I'm guilty of, of multiple homicide now? Chris, you, remember when you killed [[Simonla]] because we strong-armed you into it, because you refused to do it willingly? Are you guilty of homicide now? Because you killed Simonla?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, that would, actually, you could blame the Voltorb that was placed by the toilet, placed by the toilet that exploded. Because the Voltorb exploded, it blew up the...

'''Alec:''' Chris, you drew the Voltorb. You drew the Voltorb! Chris, you knew Simonla was going to die! You knew there was going to be a Voltorb there and you did nothing to stop it! You are an accessory to murder! Who cares if someone else placed it? You knew, of course you knew she was going to die because I've been telling you for weeks to kill her.

'''Chris:''' You're, you're, well, read, yeah, well, read the pages after I put 'em, after I put 'em all up and you will see that there is, that there was, that it wasn't preventable. That there was a way that, it could not have been prevented. You will find out.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um... Did you see my page where [[Son-Chu]] killed himself? Did you see how depressed he was? I couldn't have prevented that. Sometimes people are so depressed that you just can't reach them. And it's tragic but, you know, sometimes people commit suicide because they believe there's just no way out for them.

'''Chris:''' I have a question for you.

'''Alec:''' Oh?

'''Chris:''' You said you like Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Why did you make him, why did you draw him killing himself?

'''Alec:''' Soni-

'''Chris:''' If you liked him you would not have done that!

'''Alec:''' I didn't draw Sonichu killing himself. I said Son-Chu, your car, your... I don't want to say "Autobot" 'cause that's trademarked, but...

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, excuse me, well, I misunderstood. Well, yeah, that was, that was wrong. I mean, that was like you're killing my vehicle, it's like you're making me have to pay, like...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting off Chris''] No, Chris, I didn't kill your, I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. He was depressed because he had a name that he hated, and all the other Autobots made fun of him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, the Autobot, the Autobots do not make fun of each other for their names.

'''Alec:''' No, they make fun of Son-Chu. Chris! Look at what he says in that page! He says that he hates his name because it's not a strong, manly Autobot name. Why would he lie?

'''Chris:''' Well, it's only because you're, you're putting...

'''Alec:''' He had nothing to lie about, he had nothing to lose. He was gonna kill himself.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I did not, I'm not the one that drew, that drew my car, my Autobot, to say that. I did not.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but I did.

'''Chris:''' You did that, pretending to be me, in a sense.

'''Alec:''' I wasn't pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' You were pretending to be...

'''Alec:''' Chris, look up at the page. Do you see on the comic page where it says "Copyright 2010 Alec Benson Leary"? I'm pretty sure that shows that I was not pretending to be you. I was actually trying to... [''Chris talks over him'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, you have no right, you have no right in killing a character that was originally mine, and that I have never said, have never said personally, had died. When a character dies, I will let every, I will let everybody know myself. Anybody else who, who makes up, who says outside of my jurisdiction, it's just a whole bunch of bogus baloney.

'''Alec:''' Well, maybe I can say it's a parody, and that'll make it okay, right? If Sonichu Revolution is a parody? Would that be okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It would?

'''Chris:''' I would accept that, yeah. And plus, don't make them so big. Maybe like three quarters of the current size, three quarters.

'''Alec:''' No. Nah. Then no one can read the text. I'm not gonna make it smaller, it's kinda hard to read the text already.

'''Chris:''' You should have those pages on your Asperpedia! People could just go over there and read them for themselves.

'''Alec:''' Um, but the whole point of Sonichu Revolution is to make up for your lack of updates. Why would I put it on my Asperpedia? That defeats the purpose. I, I'm...

'''Chris:''' But, but you're just...

'''Alec:''' I'm keeping the fans there for you, Chris!

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing...

'''Alec:''' You could thank me once.

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing those pages, not me.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, that's right, I'm drawing the pages. You're not drawing anything. Or you say you are, but we have no proof.

'''Chris:''' I am, I, you're wrong, I have been drawing the pages, and I have been coloring them.

'''Alec:''' But you're not uploading them.

'''Chris:''' Because I have, because I'm too busy working on the, working on coloring after I have drawn them all up! And plus, I have real life things, like I have to go hang, like I have to hang out with my family. I have errands to run...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting him off''] Chris! Take a guess, right, I want you to guess...

'''Chris:''' And plus...

'''Alec:''' Between, Chris, no, Chris! I want you to guess, between one and 10, how many hours did I spend in school yesterday? Take a guess, right now.

'''Chris:''' How many hours you spent in school yesterday...

'''Alec:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' The average of 10.

'''Alec:''' That's right. I spent 10 hours in school yesterday. I also uploaded a page of Sonichu Revolution yesterday.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, what about your job? You have your job as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. What about my job? I upload pages while I have a job and school. So what about my job?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you got all your, you're spending your time there as well.

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I admit, [[Autism|I'm not sure really what the point I was trying to make there]], I lost my train of thought.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, yeah. It's true that, yes, I spend a lot of time in school, and a lot of time at my job. And I, you know, and I have errands too. Not really for my family, I don't live with my family, but I do errands on my own.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright. Well, okay, well...

'''Alec:''' How much time... You've mentioned that several times, that you have to run errands for your family. Like, what do you have to do for them? What did you do yesterday? What... How... Like, are they having you break rocks with sledgehammers or something all day? Because you say it's like some huge, serious thing.
p
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, they're old. I have to do [[Chris and work#Chores|chores]] for them. I have to do chores for them around the house. Like I had to even, I even shoveled snow to get the, to get the, to make a path for them and get the cars out. And my, and my car, it was stuck in, two front tires were stuck in their own dug grooves, and we finally, and finally got the car out of those two grooves today.

'''Alec:''' So you've, like, been working on that solid, non-stop, just digging your car out? [''pause''] I mean... I live in Minnesota, you know, we get some bad snowstorms sometimes, and my car will just get completely buried in snow. And it...it might take me, like...in the worst-case scenario of storms, it might take me half an hour to dig enough snow out for my car to move. We usually don't get that much snow, though.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Wha-are-you said some chores around your house, too, like besides shoveling. What else do you have to do?

'''Chris:''' I clean the kit-, I clean the big kitchen, I do the, I vacuum, I move stuff around, I...clean the bathroom as well, I do a lot of things around the house.

'''Alec:''' You kind of sound like you're talking to someone who has not seen that video [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of your house]] right now. And I want to let you know that I actually ''have'' seen it, so I'm pretty sure...that house is..... [''Alec is interrupted by a rapid series of DTMF tones. Decoded so far: 3125632589632145896321258624231561523635832147413663574147236464''] Chris, can you hear me? Hello? Chris, are you pressing buttons? [''tones end'']

[''Note: Even though these calls are in one file, according to [[Clyde Cash]], Chris actually hung up on Alec at the end of the dial tones. Alec promptly called him back.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, Alec?

'''Alec:''' Hey, hey Chris, did we get disconnected there?

'''Chris:''' [[List of Chris's lies|Yeah, 'fraid we did.]] It happens to me, between me and my, uh, gal-pal as well, in our conversations sometimes. Reception goes bad during this time of night.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Well, uh, glad I got you back. Okay, well, we were talking about, uh, the chores you need to do, I think, in your house. So you're saying you clean your house up?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Uh, okay, um... Have you cleaned your, cleaned your room at all?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do clean my room.

'''Alec:''' Mmm, how much do you clean it?

'''Chris:''' I clean my room like once a week.

'''Alec:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' O-kay. So, how long does it take when you do that? Because if you do that once a week, that's just, like, maintenance, shouldn't take too long.

'''Chris:''' It takes like two hours.

'''Alec:''' Two hours. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Alec:''' Um... How long does it take you to clean the rest of the house?

'''Chris:''' It takes me, it pretty much takes me one to two hours per room.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Okay. Like, what do you do when you clean? What specific stuff do you do?

'''Chris:''' I move this, I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I take, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work, back-breaking!

'''Alec:''' Back-breaking.

'''Chris:''' Yes. My back hurts.

'''Alec:''' I hope you don't mean... Your back hurts from cleaning?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, after extensive long time, I mean, sure.

'''Alec:''' I thought you, I thought you were strong, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[I AM STRONG|I am strong]].

'''Alec:''' Why would your back just... How strong are you? Like... Because it seems the videos...

'''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm very strong. Believe me, I'm very strong.

'''Alec:''' Really. Like... Uh...

'''Chris:''' Anybody, anybody, anybody will tell you that, like, yeah, they, they just feel like they break their backbones after, after a very extensive time scrubbing the floors, getting up and down, as well.

'''Alec:''' You should get a Swiffer. Swiffer Wet-Jet, because then you can stand while you're scrubbing the floor. I use it, it's really useful.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' It's quick, too.

'''Chris:''' Well, we don't have it, we don't have that here.

'''Alec:''' Huh. Maybe you could sell some of those video games like I was talking about. Then you could afford one. Have you thought at all about selling any more of your, your games, Chris? Because...

'''Chris:''' No, I have no plans, I have no plans of that at the moment.

'''Alec:''' Why would you want to hold on to video games that you don't play anymore?

'''Chris:''' I do play them, when I feel nostalgic...

'''Alec:''' ALL of them? Chris, you've got... How many [[List of Chris's games|hundreds of games]] do you have? And you play all of them regularly? Is that what you're telling me?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Regularly, like... Yeah. Every, like, uh, I'd say, yeah, on a regular basis I do.

'''Alec:''' Every single one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah!

'''Alec:''' That must take, that must take a lot of time.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Is video-game-playing back-breaking too? Just out of curiosity? I wouldn't think it would be.

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, but it's one way for me to relax after I, after I have done the work of cleaning the room. Or shoveling the snow in the yard.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but you only clean once a week, and shoveling, that doesn't happen all the time. I know Virginia got a snowstorm recently, right, but that was kinda like a one-time thing.

'''Chris:''' That's, well, okay, well, just to correct you, I was not talking about cleaning period once a week, we're talking about cleaning my room once a week. And, and then, we have other, then, it's like, on another day I'll clean up the kitchen, and on another day I'll clean up the living room, on another day I'll clean up the, I'll clean up my parents' bedroom...

'''Alec:''' Chris, I've seen the video tour of your house.

'''Chris:''' That's like, that was, that was like, that was like over, that was like over a year ago.

'''Alec:''' Over a year ago. You really... You should film a new tour, then, actually, because people still think that your house is, you know, a mess like that.

'''Chris:''' I'll think, well, I'll consider that.

'''Alec:''' You really should, you know. It would be a good idea. Chris, here's, okay, here's what I don't get about you. There are so many things, like, you know, if your house is clean, you could just make a video and show people that. And if you've really been working on the pages, you could just upload them. And if, you know, if you wanted to prove to people that you have [[Nintendo]]'s permission to use [[Pikachu]], shit like that, you could just show them the letter that Nintendo sent you, that gives you permission. Why do you, why do you take the hard way through everything? Why do you want to keep receiving, you know, demands and questions about this and that subject when one little action on your part could just stop all of it?

'''Chris:''' Because for me it's not all that easy.

'''Alec:''' What's not easy about it? Like, okay, the Nintendo...

'''Chris:''' Because, I'll, I'll just, also [[Bob|my father]]'s [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|still very angry at me]] for doing the video touring the house over a year ago. And he's making me all mad, he's very angry...

'''Alec:''' Why, why, why was he angry about it? Just refresh my memory.

'''Chris:''' It's like an invasion of privacy?

'''Alec:''' How is it an invasion? You live there, I mean, it's your house, if you choose to upload a video, that's not an invasion of privacy. If you [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|try to videotape people without their consent]], that would be an invasion of privacy. But I don't think your parents were in that video.

'''Chris:''' You don't, you don't, you don't understand, I, and I forget all of the details my father said, but he's still very angry at me for doing, for having done that.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, I guess if you say he's angry then okay, that's that, but... Um, what about, um... Well, like the Nintendo thing. Couldn't you... Did Nintendo, like, write you a letter saying, you know, yes, go ahead and use Pikachu? Couldn't you just scan that and show that to people? 'Cause everybody...

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter.

'''Alec:''' You mis-, you misplaced it?

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That seems like a really important thing, how could you misplace that? And if you clean your house so regularly, I mean, it seems like you would find things that you had lost regularly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It takes, yeah, moving, moving stuff, if I had, I had, I regularly look at stuff, and that, and it got misplaced that way.

'''Alec:''' I'm sure you could just actually call up Nintendo, because... I mean, that would be... You know, the legal department of a company keeps records of everything they do. They would be happy to just fax you or send you another copy of the letter.

'''Chris:''' I'll keep that in mind.

'''Alec:''' Businesses lose papers sometimes, and you know, that's why there's redundancy, that's why. And not only your fans, you know, but if you showed that letter publicly, then I couldn't demand that you admit Sonichu's a doomed franchise, now, could I? You wouldn't, you wouldn't even have to do the reboot? I mean, think about it. If either you, you know, reboot your entire comic that you've been working on for 10 years, that's one choice, or your other choice is, you just call up Nintendo and ask them to send another letter, and show it to everyone.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Destroy 10 years of personal hard labor, or show a letter.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well, I will think, I will, I will look, I will look into that later.

'''Alec:''' Um, okay. Um, this is reminding me of... In your recent, where you started updating the Mailbags again, um... Let me take a look at a Mailbag, because I don't remember the exact phrase, but... You responded with kind of a stock phrase to a lot of letters. Let's see here. Um, where is it. Ah! "Your letter has been read fully and your thoughts have been in-pyoo-ted..." I guess inputted. "And accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." Chris, you spend even less time responding to these e-mails than you do normally. What's up with that?

'''Chris:''' Okay, for your information I actually read, I actually read and re-read each letter before I make a final response.

'''Alec:''' But your final response is, is not thought out at all. See, this is kind of an interesting parallel to your comic work, because you say, you say that you...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, well, there are points where, there are points, there are points where I don't...

'''Alec:''' [''trying to interrupt''] Chris, Chris, Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS! Let me talk, and don't interrupt, alright? I will let you speak after I finish this sentence. This is how it goes. One person speaks, the other person responds, the first person is... Okay. Um, you say that you spend a lot of time "reading and re-reading" and really considering the letters, but when it comes time for the final step, which is, you know, the response, you don't really put any effort into that. And that's an interesting parallel to your comics, because you say you spend a lot of time drawing and coloring and, you know, preparing your pages, but that final step, uploading them, you don't put any effort into that. So it seems... It kind of sounds like you go 90 percent of the way, but you don't actually finish that crucial last 10 percent. And just to let you know, people are mad about this stock response that you made.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to the Mailbag, it's just that, you know, even after re-reading it, I still cannot, I still could not come up with an appropriate response. So I had to go with a neutral response.

'''Alec:''' Why... What do you mean, you can't come up with a... There's a lot of different subjects to these letters, and you give the same neutral response to every one. Are you telling me that all of these subjects, you really can think of absolutely nothing?

'''Chris:''' There are a few subjects on which I come up blank! Yes. I'll admit that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um... Like... [''makes a "ch-ch-ch" sound''] Um, someone wrote you a letter about your comments about homosexuals being bigoted and offensive, and you gave the stock response to that. Um, that seems like a huge kind of Achilles' heel with you, is if people mention the word "homosexual," it's, your mind goes blank.

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, of course, I could not think of an appropriate response to that letter.

'''Alec:''' "Your comments..." I'm reading the letter right now. "Your comments on homosexuals are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions. You want a vaccine for them, just because they tick you off..." Um, the last two parts, those are actually very clear questions, as far as I can see. Like, if someone asked me those questions... If someone asked me, "Do you want homosexuals to die in explosions?" I would tell them, "No." If someone asked me, "Do you want a vaccine for them just because they tick you off?" I would explain, "No, homosexuals don't actually tick me off, and I would never want to vaccinate them." I just came up with that right now. That would be my response if such a question was asked of me. And that's not even that long of a response. You don't need a page worth of response.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus, plus I perceived that, because I perceived those statements as insults, and...

'''Alec:''' Oh, so we're back to everything is an attack on you, this... Remember when you thought that my ads were an attack on you? So now someone... So, so you thought my ads were an attack on you, now this homosexual thing, um, you've made plenty of offensive comments about homosexuals, which they could, and plenty have interpreted as attacks by you. And so when someone asks you about them, how is that an attack on you?

'''Chris:''' They said when I, it was an e-mail, and that's in that where you just read about it, they called me bigoted.

'''Alec:''' That's because you ''are'' bigoted. You want...

'''Chris:''' I am not bigoted.

'''Alec:''' You hate homosexuals. How many, how many times...

'''Chris:''' I actually said that, actually I have, actually, thanks to [[Jack Thaddeus]] I recently, I have, I actually see them in a more positive light! It was, I think it was...

'''Alec:''' Is that the same Jack Thaddeus that is an evil villain, that does underhanded deals for ad space?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Well, you kinda flip-flop a lot. No, forget what I said. Um...

'''Chris:''' Uh, well, well, for your information, though, specifically, Jack Thaddeus has told me about, uh, homosetts-, about homosexuals from his point of view and how that they would never, they would never make any actions towards me because I'm not even try-, I'm not even that attractive to him.

'''Alec:''' You know, Chris...

'''Chris:''' Attract him. 'Cause he's a homosettsual.

'''Alec:''' Uhh-huh. You know, um, I've actually been hit on, I've been hit on by homosexuals, once in a while. It happens to me in my life.

'''Chris:''' Oo-kay.

'''Alec:''' It's, I never got ticked off by it, I never saw it as offensive. I mean, I'm, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't really be interested, but if, if someone, man or woman, thinks I'm attractive, then, you know, well, it's flattering. Even if I'm not interested. Why would you think it's an attack if a gay person finds you attractive? I take it as a compliment that people think I'm attractive.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, it's, yeah, well, still, I mean, if I was, well, okay, well, if a homosexual came up to me and flirted with me like that, I wouldn't, uh, no, no, I would let them know that, no...

'''Alec:''' That you're not interested?

'''Chris:''' And, yeah, I cannot accept your, I cannot accept that because I'm not interested, I am straight, nnn...

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, that's...

'''Chris:''' And then leave it at that.

'''Alec:''' That sounds, yeah, that sounds like a good...

'''Chris:''' And then, then, if the, and then if the guy continued to, continue on like that after the warning, then I would get really mad.

'''Alec:''' Well, that's understandable. And you know what? That happens, not just with gay people. I mean, straight people, plenty of straight people have trouble getting a hint. I mean, you know, guys, all the time, there are guys who, you know, hit on a girl, and she says, "No, thank you, I'm not interested", and they just keep pressing the point. [[Megan|Overstepping their boundaries]]. [[Kacey|Trying to hold their hands, things like that]]. That is... You know, in a situation like that, it's perfectly acceptable to get offended if they don't respect, er, if they don't respect your, um, your decline. Your negative response. You see? Um, but I... When, when did you talk to Jack about this, this homosexual thing? When did you have that conversation?

'''Chris:''' It was about, it was like over a, it was like over a week ago.

'''Alec:''' When did you answer Mailbag 52? Pretty sure it was less than a week ago, wasn't it? Because if your issues with homosexuals are resolved now, then why couldn't you offer a simple response to that? Okay, here's what you could have said. Um... Well, just to be clear, do you still want a vaccine for homosexuals?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Uh, I'm sorry, I did not understand, I do not understand that. Could you repeat that please?

'''Alec:''' [''slowly this time''] Do you want to create a vaccine to eliminate homosexuality?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm...

'''Alec:''' Do you understand that?

'''Chris:''' Honestly... Yeah, okay, yeah, I understood that. So yeah, you're asking me that right now. Or are you, or are you just, I mean, uh, okay.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I am asking you right now.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''pause''] In an attempt to make a better world, a better world, I would support it. I would support that.

'''Alec:''' Oooo-kay, so, when you said that you don't have problems with gays anymore, that wasn't actually true. Chris, well, like I said, I'm not gay, but I have a number of gay friends, um, a few family members that are gay, and it's part of who they are. That's part of their identity. Why would you want to take that away from them? What, what about removing homosexuality would make the world a better place?[''exasperated sigh''] It shouldn't be that hard, Chris, because you already, um, established a predicate that "no gays equals the world is a better place." So, having said that, that must mean that you do have an idea of how the two things are connected.

'''Chris:''' Uh... Well, what two things?

'''Alec:''' Chris, do you... Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Chris, you said, you said "no gays equals the world is a better place." That, "no gays" is point one. That connects to "world is better," point two. How do those connect? What is... Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, yeah, okay, now I get it, I mean, it's just that, you know, uh, [[Lies|I'm getting an incoming call right now]], and, uh, taking it will interrupt this conversation...

'''Alec:''' Well, you should probably ignore it. Yeah. Um, so please...

'''Chris:''' It's like, hard to, though, it cancels, it cancels your, it cancels your vocal input out at that point when the...

'''Alec:''' Well, did you... Yeah. Did you hear my point, though? Please explain how no gays equals world's better.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] You know, okay, well, I'm not necessarily saying... I'm not saying that as in reference to them as people. I'm saying that in reference, and like...

'''Alec:''' Well, removing, removing homosexuality equals a world better. Explain that.

'''Chris:''' Because there will be less risk of those people going... to... hell.

'''Alec:''' Hell?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. When they die.

'''Alec:''' What do you... Oh, you mean instead of heaven?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing?

'''Chris:''' It's implied within parts of the Bible.

'''Alec:''' Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I have read the Bible, but...

'''Alec:''' You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] So?

'''Alec:''' How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now.

'''Alec:''' So you're going to hell, right?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, I'm making, I'm making atones for that.

'''Alec:''' Uhhhh...are you? Really?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Well, you... I asked you to give Mao a Forgiveness Blessing, that was the most lackluster one I've ever seen you do. Do you believe that black magic, uh, works, Chris?

'''Chris:''' There's a po-, there's a chance that it can, but...

'''Alec:''' Um, not if you're Christian. Because the Christian God says that all magic and supernatural stuff that doesn't come from God is false.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I, I have no comment to that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, um... Let's go back to the gay thing, because, you know, we've established that you don't really know a whole lot about the religion you claim to believe in.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So I would, I would, um, when you're in the absence of important information like that, I would think, just go with what you know. Go with what you see. And by that I mean, you know, you've never been attacked by a homosexual, they've never done anything evil to you.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Actually, yes, I was abused by one!]] A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.

'''Alec:''' What did he say to you?

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member, I don't remember what he said to me, but they were offensive.

'''Alec:''' Um, so... Okay, well, there are bad gay people, just like there are bad straight people. Um... So, one gay person did something bad to you that you don't really remember, therefore all gay people are going to hell? Is that the logic you're doing there?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, more or less.

'''Alec:''' How many... Okay, so, I should condemn all straight people because you've been horrible to me. You've said a lot of bad things to me, you've threatened me. Maybe, or, not just straight, maybe I should condemn autistic people, because you identify with autism a lot and you've been a very bad person in most of our dealings.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Are all autistic people, um, really selfish and demanding and...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Not all of them are.

'''Alec:''' But all homosexuals are bad? Because you had one bad experience? That's a double standard.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay, well, okay, well, they're all not. [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Well. You know, I'll wait to see if you really stick to that belief or not, I guess. I mean, I guess it's good that you're saying it now, but... Why do you sigh so much?

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm a little tired right now. I had to, I actually cleaned more, I cleaned the kitchen again today.

'''Alec:''' [[Biological clock|Don't you usually stay up to like 4:00 A.M. or something]], you said? This is kinda like the middle of the day for you, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' No, this is not the middle of the day for me, this is the middle of the night for me.

'''Alec:''' But... Okay, you said you sleep until like noon, right? And then you stay up 'til like three or four at night. That's kind of a, that's a really weird schedule, by the way.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, late-, actually I am, I'm mostly going to bed before midnight and I get up at like 9:00 A.M.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Well. I actually go to bed, like, around 11, so I'm closer to my bedtime than you are to yours, but I feel fine. We all get tired, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Anyway...

'''Alec:''' Um, what do you think of... Let's see here...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' [''long pause''] Um, oh, here's another good question. When someone asked you about the Mailbag that you fabricated, and you gave them that stock response again. I just, I really want to see you actually... My, my main goal right now is I want to see you put real effort into your Mailbags.

'''Chris:''' I will... I put as much effort as I could, but it's, you know, sometimes I do come up blank, and that cannot be helped.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you're... I know you've said plenty of times, you're a pretty smart guy, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but sometimes I'm quick, sometimes I'm [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow]].

'''Alec:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' It just happens! I don't know why. It's my head. I'm not a psychiatrist. A psychologist.

'''Alec:''' You don't have to be a... You... You remember that [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|Mike Jackson memorial e-mail]] you got here? You used the copy-and-paste response on that too.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Yeah, well, I didn't know who that was, I didn't realize that that was the, uh, that was a guy that, that went out, and that moved out when their, the prostitute did. Lose him. And I apologize...

'''Alec:''' I thought that you, I thought that you said that you spent a lot of time reading and carefully re-reading these e-mails. How do you not know the basics of what it's about?

'''Chris:''' Well, I miss a detail or two sometimes, it happens to a lot!

'''Alec:''' You missed all the detail, Chris! You missed all the detail.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I thought they were talking about Michael Jackson, the pop star.

'''Alec:''' Maybe if you'd read the e-mail you would've, you know, seen that that wasn't the case? Did you even look at that memorial? Chris, do you...

'''Chris:''' I can say I have not looked... I did not...

'''Alec:''' ''Chris'', why do you not put effort into ''anything''?

'''Chris:''' [''sudden anger''] '''I DO PUT EFFORT in every-, in everything!'''

'''Alec:''' Everything?! No! I told you that your website was going to get taken down because of a lawsuit over a stolen character, and you did nothing. Y'know, I tell you you gotta upload pages and you do nothing. I tell you you gotta respond...

'''Chris:''' '''I am, I am working on the pages...!'''

'''Alec:''' But you don't upload them!

'''Chris:''' '''Yes I will, yes I do, and I will!'''

'''Alec:''' No, "will" is different from "do." "Will" is the future tense, and it hasn't happened yet.

'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] I'm getting tired, I'm getting tired of this. You're raising your voice at me, I'm not, and I'm not, I don't appreciate it.

'''Alec:''' Well, I... I think I kind of, I'm just trying to enunciate a point, I'm trying to get you to respond.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... A person raising their voice, that really is enough to just, you know, completely discombobulate you? Besides, you yelled at me first.

'''Chris:''' No, you raised your voice at me first.

'''Alec:''' No. No. I asked you, "Chris, why do you not care about anything? And you screamed, "I DO CARE!"

'''Chris:''' You're being, you're being, you're being ridiculing to me.

'''Alec:''' Uh, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Chris, I want to, I want to understand why it is okay for you to do so many things to other people that make you mad when they do them back to you. Please, I'm asking you a simple question. Please explain this to me. Why is it that any level, any tiny level of stress or inconvenience, and you immediately will fall back on, you know, you're being attacked, or you're being, you know, your world is...

'''Chris:''' It just happens, espec-, it just happens, especially when I'm tired.

'''Alec:''' No. That's not an excuse. That is not an excuse. That's an excuse that a child uses. Children complain that they have to do a little bit of hard, you know, work, or deal with unpleasant situations. Honestly? I have been very polite with you, Chris. I don't swear at you, except, you know, on a few occasions where you really piss me off, but for the most part I don't. I don't yell at you, I raise my voice in response to you raising your voice. I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to talk to you like an adult.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm just tired right now.

'''Alec:''' [''snorts'']

'''Chris:''' And you know, considering your bed at 11:00, uh, you probably want to finish this up, want to wrap this up as well. So I...

'''Alec:''' No, I'm doing good.

'''Chris:''' Let's just that, let's just agree that, uh, I will be uploading the pages, and uh, what you got, perhaps, perhaps after book 10 is completed, uh, we could, uh, actually, you know what...

'''Alec:''' Well, you know what? If you want to...

'''Chris:''' Don't worry about the ads, don't worry about that, uh, ad space at this point. I'll just agree to that, but, uh, but, yeah, but you know...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Please, Stop, Running, Away from me, Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.]]

'''Alec:''' [''snort''] I know you're not literally running away, but you're trying to end the conversation because I'm making you feel bad.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And it's not even because I'm attacking or insulting you, I'm just presenting, you know, a few things that are very minorly unpleasant.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Okay, well, with that, uh, sometimes, there are things that, yeah, we don't, we generally, we would not prefer, we would prefer the opposite of unpleasant.

'''Alec:''' You seem to prefer the opposite of unpleasant literally all the time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Any little bit of stress and you run for the hills. You avoid anything unpleasant, even, even in cases where dealing with a small problem now will avert a very big problem later. You always choose the hard way, you choose to deal with the big problem that you could have avoided. Bad news is gonna happen, Chris, life is not all fun and games.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure, well, I'm sure that that's happened to you and you actually had to do that as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but then I turned 10 and I started learning to get over it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Man the fuck up, Chris. Pardon my language, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get, I get, and I said that.

'''Alec:''' You're gonna have to show that with your actions, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And I will.

'''Alec:''' Do you believe that we, um, could ever be friends, Chris?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Maybe.

'''Alec:''' Maybe?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, you gotta start listening to people that are trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' I am open to, I am open to opinions and thoughts when they are presented in a non-condescending, uh, appro-, acceptable tone, or, or whatever.

'''Alec:''' That's what you always say, but you never act on them. I'm showing you things you haven't done, and you still don't do them. Because I've done this with you several times.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I will, listen, I gotta go, I'm really, seriously, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, have a good night. Maybe I'll talk to you later.

'''Chris:''' Alright. Take care. Bye-bye.

[''Call ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Chris and Alec Call 9]]|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBY2M3SW5ybWg0Q2s The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKZogX_Q0BY YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2026-08-28T00:18:20Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth and final [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|call between Alec and Chris]], which took place on 25 [[February 2010]].

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in [[Issue 10]], given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and [[Sonichu Revolution]] comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything fine. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "[[Sandy]]", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

[[Christian Love Day]] is also brought up. Chris denies [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND saying that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right". When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a pathetic cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question.

Chris also admits that he has no objections being kissed up to, which has been [[Ego|fairly obvious]] for quite a long time. He then goes on to prove he knows little to nothing of Christianity, his professed belief ([[Chris and religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits to believing Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not okay to [[parody]] a parody (it's as nonsensical as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]], for no reason whatsoever.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of Alec; this ironically serves as a perfect metaphor towards the relationship between the two.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|iu02fNtlmdQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that [[Sonichu 10#Trial of the Asperpedia Four|trial]], Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' You could've made that more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:''' But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you ''seriously'' believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, whi-whi... whi-while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching [[South Park]] in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me.

'''Alec:''' Oh, really? [''Chris keeps talking, Alec has to shout over him''] Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Those are like... especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris? Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But yet, what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' Not your character! Not-- no, Simonla was not your character! She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is, uh, [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like, Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which, by corollary, makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' We, that's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind's a little slow]].

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. So it should be an equally important holiday in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, y'know like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, y'know "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a 100-- It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's... uh, history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16th, I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Mexicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a {{w|Hallmark holiday}}, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate... something.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that, that you just want... you, you really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. [''pause''] Admit it. It's about [[Chris and his ego|your ego]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote-unquote "ego".

'''Alec:''' What... well, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to.... create a holiday--Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it. I mean--

'''Chris:''' [''interrupts Alec''] Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "oh, because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|You brutally killed me.]]

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a [[dildo]] and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah ''Palin'', actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you [[Down with Asperchu|cursed me]] [[12 January 2010|with the]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|death threats]]?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you [[Chris and religion|claim to be a Christian]], this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] .....I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' ''No'', no, you're not! You don't practice... no, baptism doesn't mean ''shit.'' You don't even ''try'' to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lot to memorize, and it's, and... and it's--

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But ''you'' worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works, alright? God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''frustrated sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla; admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, [[Autism|no, they actually happened.]]

'''Alec:''' [''loud clap; probably Alec facepalming''] Yes, they ''happened'', Chris, but your ''responses'' were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me, uh, get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to go off-topic, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, ['''Alec:''' Sure.] what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''[[Adult Swim|Robot Chicken]]''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, [[Saw|I don't mind gore]], up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was, y'know, meant to be a funny parody of me. See, I don't take myself complete... [''Chris tries to interrupt''] I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10, I will be making less appearances in the book, and--in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] [[Chris and negligence#Art|Well, I overestimated myself!]]

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to, y'know, be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' ''Sonichu'' is your ''job'', Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make him your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he ''is'' your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:''' I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-[''hangs up'']

'''Alec:''' "Mis-"?

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBNTkyWTduZ0JXOXc The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu02fNtlmdQ YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Alec Benson Leary calls]]

Chris and money

2026-08-27T23:56:06Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Dated}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|I'd call a tow truck, but now I have less than $20 between the bank accounts and PayPal.|Chris, after his car broke down on the way home from BronyCon.<ref>[[Waiting for the tow truck]]</ref>}}

{{quote|He's [[Chris and science#Mathematics|not good at math]] when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Date with Emily]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others<ref>[[:File:Piss_and_burn_fb.PNG]]</ref> to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

As of [[November 2016]], Chris lists the dumbest thing he's ever spent money on as the $11 cake he ruined [[Cakefarts|by farting on it]].<ref>[[Reddit#Dumbest thing ever spent money on (15 November 2016)]]</ref>

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
:''Further reading: [[Chris and work]]''
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "[[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]]" that he received from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, the payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. After [[Death of Bob Chandler|Bob's death]], Chris was given a survivor's benefit – increasing the amount to $1,300 per month and making his annual income $15,600. Barb's income, from Social Security and a pension, is around $1,200 per month or $14,400 per year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref> As of 2023, it is very likely that he has ''stopped'' recieving his tugboat, as his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy venture]] (along with all of his other joint ventures with Praetor) is making much more than the monthly income limit set by the SSA.<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref>

Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card [[debt]].<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> The rest of the tugboat generally went towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[McDonald's|junk food]], or [[sex toys|other frivolous purchases]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) was (and is) nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for electronic entertainment, pornography, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had fewer than $3 left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red. How much he got to keep later on isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and his ego|completely deluded and taking pride]] in [[Chris and negligence|being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on frivolous things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]] and weekly lottery tickets.<ref name=J12>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account has shown that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he still went out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he didn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age – not in Chris's case, apparently.

In [[September 2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By", making it clear that the family income dipped after Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to cut down on unnecessary expenses, as evidenced by him racking up over $1,000 in game purchases on ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out''.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>

Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about the family's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and [[Chris and negligence|negligence]].

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, you would think most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris. Unfortunately, to this day, many more still purchase from Chris on a daily basis.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale (at exorbitant prices), Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate. He also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both.

In January 2015, it was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions in the last 4.5 years,<ref>[[Nintendo employee reveals details of Chris's Nintendo transactions]]</ref> a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st-party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

In [[July 2016]], a field agent provided the following account of Chris, in a painfully awkward situation where he did not have enough cash to pay for his junk food at a gas station:<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Short on Cash]]</ref>

{{quotebox|My friend walks into a gas station/convenience store on the northern edge of Charlottesville.
Chris is trying to buy $7 or so of junk food type stuff, but he only has $5 in cash.
The cashier tries to make understand he owes $2 more. Chris seems to understand, but is slow to process what to do about it.
My friend who is second in line, picks out two ones, says "here you go" and puts them on the counter.
Chris, it seems more out of stupidity and confusion than malice, picks up the $2 and his purchases and makes to leave.
My friend and the cashier, both object and yell that he has to leave the $2 with the cashier.
Chris doesn't seem to react.
A dude who was behind both of them in line is between Chris and the door. As Chris passes him, he taps him to get his attention, and says something like "Hey buddy ..."
Chris makes a get-away-from-me hand wavy gesture without looking at any of the three of them, and fairly loudly says "It's Miss!" and hurries out the door.
Chris continues to his car in a half run, half walk, as all three of the people in the store watch confused and amused.
Chris pulls out of the parking spot, but for some reason heads towards the back of the lot, where there is no exit.
As Chris gets to the back of the lot, he stops, backs up a few feet, tries to turn the car around, doesn't make it, backs up again, and finally gets around. Essentially making a 5 point turn in a fairly large empty parking lot.
Chris drives past the store again not looking inside, and finally drives off.}}

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

===Chris's parental enabling===
If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that [[Chris and remorse|Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else)]] by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Get-Tar Region|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[Autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Fan funding===
{{main|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

===Chris's beliefs===
[[File:Chris's economic theories.jpeg|thumb|right|A meme explaining why Chris doesn't get capitalism or government.]]

Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic conviction]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. While Chris mocked [[Lars]]’s habit of buying and collecting [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|model boats and addons for them]] after learning about it from [[Jackie]], he [[slow-in-the-minds|failed to realize]] that Lars’s supposed habit was directly parodying his obsessive purchasing and hoarding of video games and DLC, even for games that he didn’t own. Speaking of Jackie, his relationship with her was heavily fraught because he continued to spend tons of money and time on buying and playing video games, even though Jackie wanted him to move away from doing so; when he was asked by Lars during [[Lars Call|a call]] which of the two he wanted more, Chris flatly stated, "I want Jackie and I want to be able to keep my video games." His mother has served as a bad influence regarding Chris’s beliefs in material goods, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn [[14 Branchland Court|their house]] into a [[2014 house fire|fire hazard]].

On 16 [[May 2019]], Chris tweeted a screenshot of an NBC story about how "Ex-EPA chief Scott Pruitt spent nearly $124,000 on 'excessive airfare'." Chris then showed off his complex views on the U.S. economy by saying... {{quotebox|Hey, Everyone. Here’s a Think Piece: firstly, if people didn’t overspend so much, then there would be more money to give to charities around the world. And then that brought to mind that if things had not gone up in price (I Know About Inflation and that More Money has been officially printed and distributed over the decades), there would be more to freely give to those unfortunate. “Why, Back in the day, we used to pay a Nickel for a Hershey Bar. A Nickle [sic]! Now, it’s a dollar, dollar-fiddy; we could be using that $1.45 to feed the hungry everywhere. But, Everyone got greedy for the green and don’t appreciate it as much. A Nickel.” Yep, Grandpa, people have done goofed with inflation and crap. 😔}}<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts#Chris has complex economic views]]</ref>

===After the house fire===
On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burned down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Some of his fans pooled their funds to send him a care package, with a money order for $500.<ref>[[Destruction Of Chris's House#Aftermath and reaction]]</ref>

Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of having a rainy day fund. Unfortunately, not even ''that'' has broken Chris's thick skull; throughout 2014, he wasted '''$5,000''' on ''Lego sets''.<ref>[[Lego#Addiction and Financial Ruin]]</ref><ref>[[May 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

==Barb's toxic influence==
According to a troll with insider info, Chris was able to manage his own finances to a rudimentary degree, even after Bob passed away,<ref>https://archive.md/jt1fU</ref> although he still has an issue with not saving money for [[2014 house fire|potential emergencies]].

The troll also asserted that Chris's financial hardships are caused, in most part, by [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] helping herself to Chris's monetary accounts in order to attempt paying her out-of-control debts.<ref>https://archive.md/jt1fU</ref>

{{quotebox|Barb is the one who has serious debt. She fucks up Chris' budgeting by erratically taking money from Chris' account when she needs it, generally without warning.

There are two types of Chris begging videos. One is when Chris wants a bit extra for some legos. You can identify those videos by how vague Chris' requests are, and how relaxed Chris is in the video. Chris isn't in meltdown mode in those videos.

Now, the other type of video is when Barb tried to snatch some money from Chris and Chris doesn't have anything for her. You can identify those videos by how freaked out Chris looks. He's visibly distressed and he's citing specific bills he's got to pay, usually things that seem un-Chris-like. That's when Barb is freaking out at him for not having enough money to pay her debts.

The thing is, the perception is that Chris is bad with money. He's not bad with money (as far as monthly budgeting goes). Despite how foggy Chris' head is, he's got enough memory to recognize patterns in bills over the course of a few months. He knows he's gotta pay electricity bills and rent and things like that. And he does do the math each month about what bills he's got to pay, and how much that leaves him for Legos and food. You can't trust his begging. He begs because he wants more money, not because he's in any financial straits (that is, not including Barb).

He lives cheaply as shit. He saves money by buying dollar store shit. He's the type of person to buy single ply toilet paper at the dollar store. But sometimes he'll splurge and treat himself to things, like alcohol. He does this all while meeting his obligations, like his minimum payments and his bills.}}

Information from Cousin Al<ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> revealed that Chris and Barb '''had''' an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars". However, Barb spent all of it on hiring Rob Bell to defend herself (...and Chris) from legal charges incurred after [[28 October 2011|the two of them hit Michael Snyder with a car]]. It should be noted that a state-provided attorney would have been free and yielded the same result (pleading guilty), for the case was so cut-and-dry that even a lawyer of Bell's caliber had no chance of winning it.

In November 2014, Chris revealed to Renee that Barb was borrowing money from his life insurance.<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Barb is borrowing from Chris's life insurance]]</ref>

Although [[Null_DMs#Chris_takes_money_from_Barb|in a Kiwi Farms post]], in the wake of the bombshell that [[Affair with Mother|Chris had been in a sexual relationship with Barb]], [[Null]] revealed that Chris nonchalantly stated in their final conversation with each other that ''he'' had control of her bank account by then (which allowed him to swipe $750). That said, it's unknown whether or not Barb actually used to exploit his finances before the roles eventually switched at some point (not to mention, if so, ''when'').

===Bank lawsuits against Barb===
In 2016, two banks, Discovery and Capital One, sued Barb for not paying '''over $20,000 total''' in debts, leaving the Chandlers ''even further'' in financial turmoil.

Barb herself appeared in multiple videos in 2016-17, trying to [[Chris and manipulation|scam people]] into donating to her.

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]
*[[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE]]

In the first two videos, Barb claimed not to have enough money for asthma medication, and in the third, she claimed to need money for dental work.

If Barb actually needed money for an emergency, she could simply have instructed Chris to sell some of their possessions. In the videos, Chris's toys and Barb's hoard are clearly visible behind them.

==Debt==
{{main|Debt}}

As one could imagine from his poor spending habits and laziness, Chris, along with his mother, is heavily in debt to several creditors. They have been taken to court numerous times over failing to pay their debt, with Chris in particular being sued no less than ''eleven times''. As of the late 2010s, Chris has taken to simply ignoring his debt payments instead of worrying about them, which has led to multiple collection agencies filing suit against him.

==Subscription services==
Chris has been subscribed to various services over the years. These include [[Netflix]] (both their DVD-by-mail and streaming services), Hulu,<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris's Poorly-Done Family Guy Screenshot]]</ref> Clip Studio,<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Chris gets an iPad]]</ref> Crystal Council,<ref>[[April 2021 social media posts#Crystal Council]]</ref> Disney+ (which he has seemingly bundled with Hulu and ESPN),<ref>[[The Place chats (December 2019)#Priorities]]</ref><ref>[[The Place chats (December 2020)#The Avatar State]]</ref><ref>[[Arbitarch CWC Alliance chats (December 2019)#6 December]]</ref> HBO Max,<ref>[[The Place chats (February 2021)#Vaughn, HBO Max, and Sockness]]</ref> [[Patreon]], and Tokyo Treat.<ref>[[October 2017 tweets#Tokyo Treat]]</ref><ref>[[May 2019 social media posts#Chris Spends More Money]]</ref><ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Tentacle grape]]</ref>

==Money-Making Schemes==
===Wheeling and Dealing===
Also known as {{w|return fraud}}. In 2010, Chris described buying video games from one store for a lower cost, then exchanging them for a higher amount of store credit at another store.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref>

===Lottery===
Chris considers the lottery to be ''an investment'', and not a form of gambling in reality. In September 2010, he told Jackie the following:<ref name=J12/>

{{quotebox|I invest $4 weekly between Win For Life and Mega Millions; two plays each.}}

Cash4Life and Mega Millions currently costs $2 per play (as of 29 March 2021),<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210329061252/https://www.valottery.com/data/draw-games/megamillions Mega Millions] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20210329061444/https://www.valottery.com/data/draw-games/cash4life Win For Life] descriptions on the official site of Virginia Lottery, accessed 29 March 2021.</ref> meaning that if Chris stopped playing the lottery, he would save around $416 per year.

===Craigslist===
[[File:Chris chan bmw.jpg|thumb|right|The Craigslist ad.]]
{{main|Craigslist}}
In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year-old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW z3 for sale. The 1999 BMW z3 is currently listed on the Roanoke Craigslist for $10,000 OBO. Kelley Blue Book estimates the car with 70,000 miles and in a fair condition is worth $4,318. Chris describes the car as "Mint condition Z3 model. Like a go-cart with rocket power. Seriously fun to drive 5 speed and pure joy with the top down. Color is jet black."

===Pawn shops===
{{main|List of Chris's video games#Chris (barely) lets go}}

Chris occasionally visits pawn shops or similar businesses, among them Snooky's Pawn Shop, [[GameStop]] and Plan 9 Music, to sell his old toys and video games so that he can afford new ones.

===eBay===
{{main|eBay}}
Chris has long used eBay to sell bits of his toy hoard. He doesn’t put much effort into researching prices, and often lists items at vastly inflated prices. In August 2016, he listed a used VHS of ''Aladdin'' with a 'Buy it Now' price of '''$3,000'''. There were no (legitimate) takers, probably because one can buy the same edition on Amazon for ''one penny'' (plus shipping, but still).

In June 2019, Chris’s account [[EBay#Suspension_of_Chris's_eBay|was restricted]], and all of the active listings were removed. Two reasons for the restriction against Chris are possible: either his seller approval rating was abysmal (84.7% on 21 June 2019),<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20190621113537/https://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=pristinechristine1982&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true&rt=nc Wayback Machine’s snapshot] of pristinechristine1982’s eBay feedback, archived and accessed 21 June 2019.</ref> or that his PayPal account was in the red.

===CWCville Shopping===
{{main|Chris and business}}
From 2014-2016, Chris sold custom arts and crafts, finally monetizing Sonichu, through [[eBay]], [[Etsy]] and [[Lulu]], before losing his business due to [[PS4|stress]].

===Kickstarter===
{{main|Kickstarter}}

On 23 September 2014, Chris opened a Kickstarter project, asking for $5,000 to build the CWCville shopping mall out of LEGO. At the end of the campaign, Chris raised just $150 from 27 backers, causing the campaign to fail and Chris never seeing the money.

In [[July 2022]], Chris mentioned, in letters sent while he was [[Jail Saga|in jail for incest]], that he wanted to start a Kickstarter campaign to essentially bribe his mother into leaving the house and letting him live there again.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref> However, no such project has been found, if it was ever created to begin with.

===YouTube monetization===
Chris has monetized most of the videos which appear on his YouTube channel, as another way of [[Etsy|profiting]] from his internet infamy. As further proof of Chris's entitlement issues, [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] discovered that at one point around [[March 2016]], Chris received $80 and was "pissed" that he hadn't gotten more.<ref>https://archive.md/pJZj4</ref>

{{quotebox|This is going to become a pattern. Chris is going to do one of his 'Let's Plays' followed by an e-begging video and then polish it off by purchasing some dumb thing he doesn't need in excess of fifty bucks. He knows how this system works and it's the greatest amount of payoff with the least amount of work; the first time when Chris played Destiny he made 80$ from Youtube(And was surprisingly pissed it was that small, fuck that, I want eighty bucks from Youtube). Then he makes a video whining about how he needs more money and lo and behold, he gets even more~! If anything people are contributing to his float and that convinces him he can get away with being frivolous that much more. }}

Social Blade estimates that as of 12 December 2019, Chris could earn between $245 and $3,900 per year,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20191212192942/https://socialblade.com/youtube/user/cwcvilleguardian Social Blade]</ref> but there are many factors, such as Content ID claims, that make it very difficult to estimate the true value of any YouTube channel.

===Let’s Plays===
In [[March 2016]], [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] introduced Chris to the idea of doing Let's Plays to boost his online activity and help him gain some money through YouTube's monetization program<ref>https://archive.md/e0D8M</ref><ref>https://archive.md/pJZj4</ref>. The plan fell apart after Let's Plays of ''[[CWC's Destiny start|Destiny]]'' and ''[[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|Uncharted]]'', since by that point, Chris was [[Chris and Health|too lazy]] to play video games for money, and he simply wanted to [[Financhu Crisis|beg from his audience]] instead.

===YouTube Support button===
On 23 May 2016, Chris [[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|announced]] the debut of a Support button on his YouTube channel to replace the Etsy donation listing (which was forcibly removed due to it violating Etsy's TOS). He apparently got this idea from [[William Elliott Waterman]].<ref>[[https://archive.md/2ksJJ]]</ref>

===Paypal.me===
Announced on 11 [[May 2017]].

{{quotebox|Cwcville Shopping I am the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, with more than eleven comic books worth of content under my helm. Please donate to help me quell my financial problems that quell my creativity. Ruckersville, VA}}

===Prostitution===
On 19 June 2016, aka Father’s Day, Chris decided to become [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|a prostitute]].

He has yet to receive any takers.

===Begging===
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}
[[File:Please, Donate (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, proving he has zero self-awareness]]

One of the earliest instances of Chris e-begging for money was in [[9 December 2009|December of 2009]]. Chris exhorted his alleged European [[Trolls|fanbase]] to donate €1,000 in order to remove troll ads from the CWCipedia.

In 2014, after his house [[2014 house fire|caught fire]], Chris again resorted to e-begging for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest.

In 2016, Chris's e-begging drastically increased, as a result of the Chandlers' stubborn refusal to live within their means. That year saw Chris spend over $1,000 on toys, while both Chris and Barb had court cases resolved which penalized them with steep costs. In addition, Barb joined in to the begging, appearing in three videos so far.<ref>[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]</ref><ref>[[Donations Requested, Please]]</ref><ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref>

He asked for donations, or at least mentioned them, in many of the posts and videos he made in 2015 through 2016. At first, this was supposedly to fund his production of Sonichu merchandise, but he later shifted to saying that he and Barb needed help with paying the bills and buying groceries. While it's entirely possible that Chris was simply lying to get more money for [[Lego|useless]] [[Chris and video games|crap]], this indicates that the financial hardships, which [[White-Knights|many]] [[Trolls|people]] have warned him about, have finally arrived. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude and inaction, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.

=== Theft ===
[[File:BoA alert 1 Aug 2021.png|thumb|Null leaks a screenshot of Chris's bank notifying him he has $1.03 left in his account.]]

Chris has an extended history of indulging in five-finger discounts that he attempts to keep secret from prying eyes.

At one point when he was a child, Chris went to a Radio Shack store and walked out with an LCD dinosaur game without paying for it. He seemingly fessed up to his parents about the theft, and was made to go back the next day to properly pay for the game.<ref>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref>

As far back as 2009, if not before, Chris would steal increasingly larger sums of money from his mother's purse for personal use, and use both of his parents' credit cards to finance his gaming addiction as revealed by the [[Ivy Q&A]]. Despite Chris insisting that this behavior was 'in the past', he would engage in it with apparent reckless abandon regardless, stopping only when forced to after Barb discovered just how much he had purloined. Years later, Chris would rob his mother again - [[Affair with Mother|in much darker and far more damning circumstances]].

On 30 [[July 2021]], after Chris was served an [[Emergency Protective Order]] temporarily forbidding him from his home, he stole $750 from Barb's bank account. Some of this money was spent immediately - Chris' bank account was 200 dollars in debt. Much of what remained was spent on lodging in [[Regency Inn Richmond]], and the leftover money was swiftly spent on what can be assumed to be assorted frivolities and food. ''Two days'' after this money was withdrawn, [[Null]] - who at that point could still view the emails from Chris's bank - posted an image of a low balance notice from Chris's Bank of America account on the [[Kiwi Farms]], confirming that Chris had $1.03 remaining in his account.

In a letter he relayed to Null a couple of months later, he claims to have sent his $150 Patreon payout back to Barb, as compensation for stealing the money.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>

This is predictably a [[List of Chris's lies|lie]] since not only did Chris's Patreon get shut down very quickly after the leaks were made, but even if it wasn't, Chris would be forced to wait until the next Monday due to their pay-out waiting period of 1-3 business days (something that Chris himself acknowledges in the same letter).

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]

{{quote| What the? What the fuck is a C-quarter? What the fuck is a W-quarter? [[Chris and writing|Nobody explained any of this to me!]]|Brendaniel upon discovering CWCville's weird currency <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqdrsvDobY&list=PLpNAl5zLZSMUI3klvTpy2Xdqa7B9bim3h&index=36</ref>}}

In [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]], it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

While legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of {{w|community service}} to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' {{w|North Korea}}.

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States of America|United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. However, it has been somewhat common for companies, communities and local governments to issue localized currency known as 'scrip', a depression era practice still seen from time to time. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, is probably wholly unaware of this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea.}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==
[[File:Kiwi Farms silver coin photo.jpg|thumb|200px|In 2021, Chris was placed ''on'' money, in the form of [[Kiwi Farms silver coin|a non-legal tender commemorative silver coin]] minted for the [[Kiwi Farms]], and featuring Chris's likeness for a 2021 merch run. These coins received additional attention following Chris's [[Affair with Mother|legal troubles]] that same year.]]

In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of {{w|24 (TV Series)|''24''}}. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. He said the prostitute then hung up on him.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

==Post-Jail==
On 27 [[March 2023]], Chris would be released from jail by "[[Jail Saga#Bonded out or Released by court order|court order]]". In the months that followed, he would be [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|spotted]] numerous times in [[Mal-Wart|Wal-mart]] and various other stores purchasing frivolous items. Money obviously had to come from somewhere if he was able to purchase [[Chris and nutrition|junk food]], crystals, a [[Nintendo|Nintendo Switch]], and even another car.

There was speculation as to how Chris had the money to begin with.
*The group home Chris resided at may have given him an allowance for necessities.
*Money could have come from [[Praetor]]'s sales.
*If the tugboat was suspended, Chris may have reactivated it upon release, albeit with some help on account of his laziness.
*If the tugboat was not suspended, it may have accumulated during Chris's stay in jail, which could explain how he could afford expensive purchases such as gaming consoles and a car.

Either way, it seems Chris has not changed and continues his poor money management as he did before the arrest. It will only be a matter of time before he spends all his money and will resort to begging again.

==Conclusion==
Given Chris's longtime, carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. A past conversation with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household,<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref> and his plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] would have [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|never worked to begin with]].

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and work]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Financhu Crisis]]
*[[Lego]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}

List of restaurants

2026-08-27T23:01:43Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:396-PokePizzaria.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's dream restaurant. At least he's honest about how fat that crap will make you.]]

[[Chris]] isn't much of a cook, nor were any of the [[Barbara Chandler|current]] or [[Bob Chandler|former]] residents of his previous house, [[14 Branchland Court]]. When Chris isn't eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local '''restaurants'''. Keeping with the theme of [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercial consumerism]], all of Chris's favorite restaurants are chains.

Many of these restaurants do not offer many, or any, meals that provide good [[Chris and nutrition|nutrition]].

==Applebee's==

'''[[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]]''' is a popular chain of sit-down restaurants. Chris has occasionally eaten here, but it's generally too dear for his budget. His most notable visit was [[CDate with Catherine|his date]] with [[Catherine]] and her [[Cousin Al|cousin Al]] on 31 [[October 2014]], where he horrified staff and patrons alike. During the [[father call]], he mentions taking Kacey there and leaving a 15% tip on a bill of (somehow) ten dollars – a whole $1.50. Chris would also have a date with [[Faeryn]] at an Applebee's location.

==Arby's==

'''{{w|Arby's}}''' is a large quick-service sandwich chain known for having the meats. In one [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris considered Arby's as one of the possible restaurants to which he will take his first date.

==Arnold's==
'''Arnold's''' is a chain of coffee shops in [[Finland]]. Chris and [[Flutter]] were seen eating in one in [[April 2025]].<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Arnold's, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

==Baja Bean==

'''Baja Bean''' was a small chain serving Mexican food. A look at their website suggests they now have only one restaurant.<ref>[https://www.bajabean.com/ Baja Bean's website]</ref> Interestingly, their location in Richmond was located only blocks from where Barb raised Cole Smithey near campus of Virginia Commonwealth University. Their current Staunton location is also located about 4 miles away from [[Western State Hospital]]. They also had a location in Charlottesville that Chris is known to have visited<ref>[[DayOut]]</ref>, but this has since closed down.

Chris tried to set up a meeting with [[Regina e-mails|Regina]] at Baja Bean.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

==Burger King==
{{main|Burger King}}
Chris favors McDonald's, whereas [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] preferred its rival, Burger King. Thus, Chris usually only ate here when he was out with his father.

==Chick-fil-A==
[[Image:ChickFilA.jpg|thumb|right|Admittedly, the store might've been a [[Chris and writing|literary influence]].]]

'''Chick-fil-A''' is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American South that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and lemonade and for always being closed on Sundays (due to their founder's Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Chick-fil-A is generally considered to be one of the healthier fast food options in the United States.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20080808162349/http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/11230/americas-bestand-worstrestaurants/</ref> However, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its [[Chris and health|artery-clogging]] big brother, [[McDonald's]]. The reason for this is unknown; possibilities include [[Chris and brand loyalty|its lack of marketing campaigns]] aimed at [[Chris|children]] or [[Chris and contests|an absence of foolish sweepstakes]] or [[My Coke Rewards|"reward programs"]]. As such, Chris has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|epic showdown]] battling [[jerkop|jerkops]]. Even when the company came under fire for its founder's anti-[[homosexuality]] views and its involvements in "family values" movements, both of which would have likely endeared it to Chris, it did not seem to curry any favor with him.

* Chris met up with [[Emily]] in front of the Chick-fil-A at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. [[Apology to Emily|Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed)]].
* The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]'s agents during the drama over destroying Chris's [[PS3]].
* Chris and [[Flutter]] ate at Chick-fil-A in River Ridge Mall in [[June 2024]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref>
* The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a lone Chick-fil-A on the second floor.

==Collegeville Italian Bakery==
'''Collegeville Italian Bakery Pizzeria Napoletana''' is an Italian restaurant in the [[wikipedia:Philadelphia|Philadelphia]] suburb of [[wikipedia:Collegeville, Pennsylvania|Collegeville]]. Chris visited on 23 [[June 2018]] after he was booted from the [[TooManyGames]] convention for inappropriate behavior. He plugged the restaurant on [[Twitter]] and suggested a new pizza called "The Sonichu Zap!" made with yellow peppers.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191215143742/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1010629975366668288</ref>

==Country Cookin==
[[File:Son11p25.jpg|thumb|Simonla calls for Country Cookin.]]

'''Country Cookin''' was [[Chris]]'s not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It was a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to [[Golden Corral]], ''Roadhouse Grill'' or ''Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse'' in the US, and ''Harvester'', ''Beefeater'' or ''Brewer's Fayre'' in the [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|United Kingdom]].

Chris had mentioned it on several occasions and even had taken his troll friend [[Joshua Martinez]] there.

The company closed all of its locations in [[October 2020]] as a result of the [[COVID-19]] pandemic.

* In an e-mail conversation with [[Anna McLerran]] from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
* In [[Mumble 2]], Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
* A Country Cookin branch is located in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], a newly-resurrected [[Simonla]] recommends going for some Country Cookin food.
* In a [[2011]] email to [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris said he had tried an "Autistic Treatment" ("Silent, Deaf and No Eye-Contact") during a family dinner with his parents at Country Cookin and that doing so had "wrecked" the dinner. He had done so in a vain attempt to manipulate them into allowing him to proceed with his plan to go to [[MAGfest]] despite not having budgeted [[money]] for it.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>

==Crozet Pizza==
A pizzeria located in [[wikipedia:Crozet, Virginia|Crozet, Virginia]], a town 12 miles (19 km) west of Charlottesville. [[Anna McLerran]] had her 20th birthday party here in August [[2005]], which Chris attended and allegedly helped to plan.

==El Agave==
A Mexican restaurant chain with a location in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] where Chris and his parents have eaten.

* In [[Jackie Chat 8]], Chris mentions going to El Agave with his parents using his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] money.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris scraped a woman's car while backing up in the El Agave parking lot.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#God Trolls Chris Yet Again]]</ref><ref>[[MHS classmate E-mails]]</ref>
* The [[$500 gift card]] shows that Chris made four separate visits to El Agave between 19 September and 30 [[September 2015]], spending a total of $39.88.<ref name=rainboom>[[Sonic Rainboom (Kiwi Farms user)]]</ref>

==Golden Corral==
'''Golden Corral''' is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American South and Midwest as ''the'' place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. During Chris's [[date with Emily]], [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] mentions that he had a heart attack there while paying for the family's meal, but was caught by [[Barb]] before he fell to the floor.<ref>[[Date with Emily#Bob's health problems revisited (0:29:59–0:32:11)]]</ref> Despite this, it was one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he could [[obesity|stuff his face]] with fatty, low-quality food at a [[Chris and money|low price]]. However, the Charlottesville branch went out of business in 2010<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/article_65967a91-e979-5f58-9c05-093af6241996.html</ref> and became a [[China|Chinese]] buffet.<ref>http://www.yelp.com/biz/hibachi-grill-supreme-buffet-charlottesville</ref>

* [[Caitlin]], a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
* In [[Mumble 2]], he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
* Describing his ideal date spots in an [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
* Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a [[MySpace]] conversation from 4 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
* Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by [[stress]], during his final [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13|Skype conversation with BlueSpike]] Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
* Chris listed it as his favorite restaurant in his profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Cafe]].
* In a [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|May 2014 Facebook]] post, responding to news that a fire had destroyed the Chinese restaurant where the Golden Corral once stood, he angrily demanded that his favorite restaurant be rebuilt on the site.

==IHOP==
A restaurant chain best known for its pancakes and other breakfast foods. Chris's parents would go there for dinner every week during the classic Chris era to take advantage of the senior discount.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Chris was usually not brought along (ostensibly because it would disqualify them from the discount), but his parents would get takeout with their meal and bring it home to him afterwards. Chris was fond of their grilled chicken sandwiches.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

* Chris discusses IHOP with [[Julie]] in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1]].
* Chris discusses IHOP with [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey Call 6]]. Kacey takes issue with the fact that Chris's parents go to a pancake house for sandwiches.
* Chris mentions IHOP in [[Kacey Call 11]].
* Chris mentions IHOP in [[DayOut]].
* In [[Common Questions]] Chris mentions IHOP as one of the restaurants he goes to besides McDonald's or Burger King.
* In [[Jackie Chat 8]] Chris claims that he treated his parents to dinner at IHOP twice in one month using his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] money. Since Chris has previously said that his parents routinely go there without him and that it is cheaper for them to pay for the food using their senior discount, this claim is dubious.
* In the [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]] Chris mentions going to IHOP on his 32nd birthday for the free ice cream dinner.

==Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant==
An Italian restaurant in [[Lynchburg, VA]]. Chris and [[Flutter]] were spotted and photographed eating dinner there in December 2023 by Redditor JacksonStarship, who posted about it to [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]]. JacksonStarship claimed that Chris [[SpaghettiRoutine|ate spaghetti like a toddler]] and that Flutter paid for the meal and kept Chris's behavior in check.<ref>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref>

==Matt's Pub & Comedy Club==
A pub in the Shockoe Slip district of Richmond, formerly Matt's British Pub and nicknamed "Matty's Pub", "Maddy's Pub" and "[[Speech impediment|Manny's]] Pub" by Chris. Bob worked there as a sing-along leader in the late 1970s,<ref>[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref> and it is here where he would later meet and fall in love with Barbara.<ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 2]]</ref> The pub closed in [[2004]].<ref>https://sheckymagazine.com/2004/10/matts-village-pub-richmond-va-sold/</ref>

==McDonald's==
{{main|McDonald's}}

Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there... more than twice a week or so.

==Mission BBQ==
An American barbeque restaurant chain based outside of Baltimore, with stores in 16 states, including the Richmond area.

Chris mentioned in a February 2024 stream that he went to Mission BBQ a few times during his stay at Gateway Homes in Chesterfield County.

==O'Toole's==
An Irish pub Chris briefly referenced in his [[KCWC broadcast]] from [[1998]], with two locations in Midlothian and [[Richmond]].

==Papa John's Pizza==
A pizza chain with a location in Ruckersville. It was reported in August 2019 that Chris was banned from receiving deliveries from a location in Charlottesville, with trolls having regularly contacted the location to make bogus orders under Chris's name.<ref>[[August_2019_social_media_posts#Chris_caused_a_fender-bender_and_kicked_a_cop_car;_discovers_he's_blacklisted_from_Papa_Johns]]</ref>

* The [[$500 gift card]] to Chris shows that he made a $12.46 purchase from Papa John's on 24 [[September 2015]].<ref name=rainboom></ref>

==Red Lobster==
A seafood restaurant chain with a location in Lynchburg, VA. Chris and a woman, presumably [[Flutter]], were spotted dining there in [[August 2025]] by the mother of Twitter user lunarpatriot.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Red_Lobster]]</ref>

==Rylie's Diner==
'''Rylie's Diner''' (misspelled as "Riley's Diner" by Chris) is a diner in Ruckersville where Bob and Barb once ate. Barb got in an argument with the "bitchy" owner for bringing a [[q-sand]] from McDonald's into the restaurant and continuing to eat it even when told by the owner to stop. Barb was told to leave, at which point she walked out to her car with her cup of tea from the restaurant in hand and filled up her own personal cup with it. Unsurprisingly, Chris took his mother's side in the quarrel.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

==Sheetz==
[[File:CWC-EdBoySenpai-min.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris at Sheetz, posing with a fan, Reddit user EdBoySenpai, in August 2020.]]

{{w|Sheetz}} is a hybrid gas station/mini-mart chain based in Pennsylvania, with stores in five other states (including Virginia) in the United States. Among the chain's selling points is an array of fast food options.

*Chris ended [[Mumble 5]] by saying he needed to [[duck]] out to Sheetz to get his mother a sandwich.
*In the e-mail revealing the [[muscle bra]], Chris mentioned that he'd sought a job application at Sheetz.
*Chris bought gas at a Sheetz in Streetsboro, Ohio on his [[Ohio trip|trip to Cleveland]] in [[February 2009]].
*Attempting to defend his dietary choices in one of the [[Kacey Call 8|Kacey phone calls]], Chris claimed that he enjoyed fruit smoothies from Sheetz (which can easily crack 600 calories apiece).[[File:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|right|Note he ordered no [[pickles]]]]
*On 4 [[June 2011]], Chris told [[Jackie]] that recently he was at Sheetz with his mother, where a man approached Chris and asked him if he were a homosexual. Chris replied that he was a [[Tomgirl]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref>
*On 2 [[September 2013]], Chris wrote on [[Facebook]] that a couple of weeks earlier (presumably at August) he met [[Michael Snyder]] in [[Ruckersville]] at Sheetz and at [[McDonald's]] in the same morning. During the Sheetz encounter Snyder gave Chris the finger, while at the McDonald's encounter Snyder told Chris that he won't hurt him.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>
*On 15 [[June 2014]], Chris gave Sheetz a [[:File:CWCreviewsSheetz.png|five-star review]] on [[June 2014 Facebook Posts|Facebook]].
*On 29 [[July 2018]], Chris, driving his mother's Dodge Caravan back home from [[BronyCon]], found that the car had broken down while at a Sheetz gas station in Bealeton, VA. He recorded [[Waiting for the tow truck]].
*On 22 [[August 2020]], Reddit user EdBoySenpai met Chris at Sheetz and snapped a photo with him, posting it to Reddit two years later.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/wusxoi/today_marks_the_time_i_ran_into_chris_chan_at/ilc8qac/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/0NAkp archive])</ref>
*On 9 [[September 2023]], Discord user DooDoo fard2874 harassed Chris, following him by car and shouting at him. Both pulled into a Sheetz parking lot during the fiasco, then Chris drove away.<ref>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Sheetz/On the road Part II]]</ref>
*On 11 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted shopping at a Sheetz in Lynchburg, VA.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Sheetz (March)]]</ref>
*On 25 [[September 2025]], Chris was spotted shopping at a Sheetz. He politely declined taking a photo with the Reddit user who saw him, and instead gave the Redditor a fist bump.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Sheetz]]</ref>

== Sonic ==
[[wikipedia:Sonic Drive-In|Sonic Drive-In]] is a fast food drive-in chain which coincidentally has the same name as our autistic hero's [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite video game franchise]]. It has no locations in Chris's area, so he is not a regular patron. During his [[Ohio trip]], however, Chris visited a Sonic location in [[wikipedia:Streetsboro, Ohio|Streetsboro, Ohio]], perhaps intrigued by the restaurant's name. He ordered a hamburger with mayonnaise and no [[pickles]] and a lemonberry slushie "made from real fruit."<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

==Starbucks==
[[File:Starbucks.jpeg|thumb|200px]]

'''Starbucks''' is a very popular Seattle-based coffee chain which Chris has used as a place for dates and meetings with strangers as well as to satisfy his craving for sugary drinks. There is a Starbucks café near [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], and there used to be a Starbucks kiosk inside the mall as well. Chris has patronized both locations.

* The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a Starbucks on the first floor.
* [[Hanna]] worked at the Starbucks kiosk at Charlottesville Fashion Square. Her "date" with Chris involved getting drinks from the kiosk.
* Chris went to the Starbucks kiosk with [[Kacey]] and [[Kim]] sometime in 2009.<ref>[[Kacey#Kacey Date Log]]</ref>
* In the [[Jackie E-mails]] Chris repeatedly tries to set up a date with [[Jackie]] at the Starbucks café throughout summer 2010.
* Chris arranged to meet [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] and [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s agent at the Starbucks kiosk on 31 August 2010 to receive his reward for destroying his PS3. He waited around there for over an hour but nobody turned up.<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>
* In two [[April 2017 Facebook posts|Facebook posts]] from [[April 2017]] Chris praises Starbucks's [[wikipedia:Unicorn Frappuccino|Unicorn Frappuccino]].
* [[Toffee Rosechu|Toffee]] and [[Punchy]]'s first date takes place at the CWCville Shopping Center Starbucks.<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Toffee and Punchy]]</ref>.

== Subway ==
[[wikipedia:Subway (restaurant)|Subway]] is the world's largest fast-food chain, selling cheap and mediocre submarine sandwiches. There are several Subway locations in the Charlottesville area, including one in Ruckersville.

* In the [[Sarah May Skype Logs]], Chris mentions a Subway located in a [[Walmart]] in Streetsboro, [[Ohio trip|Ohio]].
* Chris mentions the Forest Lakes Subway in [[DayOut|DayOut5]].
* "Foglechu", named for former Subway mascot and convicted [[pedofork]] [[Wikipedia:Jared Fogle|Jared Fogle]], was one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]].
* Chris says that he likes Subway in [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021]].

==Taco Bell==
A "Mexican-inspired" fast-food chain with a location in Ruckersville.

* The [[$500 gift card]] to Chris shows that he purchased $5.47 worth of food from Taco Bell on 26 [[September 2015]].<ref name=rainboom></ref>
* While coming home from the post office, Chris stops at Taco Bell for "a little edibles, a little filling, a little good stuff".<ref>[[Walking_to_the_post_office#Chris_is_back_home]]</ref>

== TGI Fridays ==
[[wikipedia:TGI Fridays|TGI Fridays]] is a casual dining chain where Chris used to hang out with his friend [[Joshua Martinez]]. Chris usually paid for both of their meals. On one occasion Chris had no money for food, so Josh paid for his own meal and ate while Chris looked on in envy.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Stalking]]</ref>

As of [[2013]] Chris would still go to TGI Fridays on occasion, even though he and Josh had long ceased to be friends. He claimed in an email to [[Kim]] that it was the only [[Alcohol|bar-like]] establishment which he still patronized at the time, although he did not make it clear whether he came there to drink or merely to eat.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Madicon]]</ref>

The chain's [[Charlottesville]] location, probably the one which Chris frequented, has since closed.

== Tropical Smoothie Cafe ==
{{w|Tropical Smoothie Cafe}} is a restaurant franchise in the entire United States. Chris has mentioned it on at least two occasions, talking about its wraps, smoothies, and flatbread sandwiches with chips, etc. Chris said his friend [[Joshua Martinez]] introduced him to Tropical Cafe.<ref>[[Kacey_Call_8]]</ref><ref>[[Regina_e-mails#Chris_rambles_like_a_motherfucker]]</ref>

The franchise has at least two locations in Charlottesville.

== Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar ==
A restaurant specializing in tea and vegetarian meals, located in the [[Charlottesville, VA]] downtown mall.

[[LoveYouLongTime]], whose friend wanted to meet with Chris, set up a group meeting here circa [[2018]]. She told the story of the meeting on [[Kiwi Farms]] two years later, mentioning Chris's bizarre [[fashion]], him introducing [[Polyamorous marriage|Magi-Chan and Mewtwo as his spouses]] while indicating at empty chairs, attempting to show off his electric powers, and dumping his bag of [[magic stones]] on the table to ramble about each of them for over half an hour.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Introducing Chris to Friend]]</ref>

==Wood Grill Buffet==
A buffet chain with a location in Charlottesville. Despite being a buffet restaurant, Chris seems to think of the place as a high-quality eatery.

* In an email to one of [[LoveYouLongTime]]'s personas from [[November 2009]], Chris mentions that his parents stopped at Wood Grill Buffet to buy dressing.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009#Rambling]]</ref>
* In a Facebook post from [[January 2014]], Chris asks for gift cards for restaurants such as Wood Grill Buffet, iHop, McDonald's and Burger King. He then disparages the latter two restaurants, claiming that they are "last choices" and that he prefers "good food".<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts#Donations]]</ref>
* In an [[October 2019]] chat in [[The Place]] Discord server, Chris mentions he and Barb went to Wood Grill Buffet for lunch on her birthday.<ref>[[The Place chats (October 2019)#Birthdays]]</ref>

{{References}}

{{Health}}
{{Places}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

CWC's Diary

2026-08-23T22:38:02Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|My life sucks.|Entry for 2 March [[2004]]}}

[[File:127539439799.jpg|thumb|"[[Bob Chandler|My Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well."]]

[[Chris]] has stated that he keeps (or has kept) a '''diary''', although little is known about its format. Chris may be referring to his various blogs on sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]], or he may be referring to a ''physical'' book that he actually writes in.

Entries from this diary that he has put on the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] have provided the greatest insight into Chris's world from [[2004]]-[[2007]], particularly events involving his [[Love Quest]] that would inspire the [[Sub-Episodes]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]]. However, by mid-[[2008]] Chris had deleted his MySpace and virtually all references to these diary entries...except the ones he put on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], which never forgets.

==Entries==
===2004===
Well, here it is, [[2004|Y2K4 (2004)]]! My one resolution is to get myself a matching [[girlfriend]]. Rather it will happen is something else. I plan to try again at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]].

'''6 January:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist, and big half-brother, Dr. [[David Alan Chandler]], for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Respectable Frames|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, [[Savannah]]. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that. :D<ref>In November 2007, Chris accompanies this entry with a picture of him wearing glasses, with the caption ""Yes, ''I WEAR GLASSES''; I have been since Groundhog Day, [[1998]], because I am Nearsighted"</ref>

'''31 January:''' Well, it’s the end of another month, and I still don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe my latest idea, the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter, will make the ladies take notice of me. Next stop: my Birthmonth, February (I’ll be 22 on the 24th this year)..

'''9 February:''' [[Mary Lee Walsh]] made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT [[Chris and censorship|XXXXX]]! In response, [[Chris and reality|I plan to incite the masses]], and hope they DEMAND the return of the News Dash so my chances on getting a girlfriend can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!

'''2 March:''' That XXXXX, Mary Lee Walsh, got on my, and my parents’, nerves! She played SOCIAL DIRECTOR, and tried to frame me, just to give her an excuse to boot me out of PVCC! All I’d been doing was trying to get a girlfriend… IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me! My life sucks.

'''29 April:''' Sonichu and I were featured in the PVCC newsletter, the FORUM, but still nothing. Oh, to become popular and to get a girlfriend is very hard. My [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] MAY help me next month… GOOD LUCK.

I did get to rub my [[Nintendo Power]] FAME in the [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX’s]] face! Heh-heh!<ref>In November 2007 Chris added: "Enough OLD angst against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME..."</ref>

'''1 August:''' Well, it’s another month; still no girlfriend. But I have a NEW idea that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL [[Anime|RED STRING]].

'''5 August:''' I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a [[Red String of Fate]], when from out of the blue, a [[MALE|JERK]] [[Jerkop|COP]] shattered my [[heart level|Heart]] and ripped up the Red String! I am very mad and upset, because that [[MALE|JERK]] [[Chris and English|took my idea for a fall]], just like that XXXXX at PVCC did! >(

'''4 September:''' While I was at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], for the 8th week today, I realized something: since I have been using a [[sign]] to state my being single & lonesome towards an 18-22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl|BOYFRIEND-FREE woman]], I, in the event, was trying to [[Wikipedia:Prostitution|sell myself like a new car]]. I may be able to [[Carlos Chantor|put that idea to good use]].

'''6 September:''' At the mall on this Labor Day, I was taking another go on my [[Love Quest]]. I told that JERK COP off when I pulled some of my Fun Cards and told my [[virgin with rage|Lonesome Virgin]] story, intimidated him and shouted “NO” into his face. In short, today was my Independence Day, but I am still alone.

'''11 September:''' I was not bothering anyone at the mall today while I was trying to “sell myself,” when I got ARRESTED for trying; I fortunately did not go to Jail. But I have been stripped of my right to go to the Mall by myself; I would be required to bring my Mom or [[Dad]] with me. My independence, and my SOUL, were practically MURDERED. (8(

'''16 September:''' I got SUSPENDED FROM [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|I am SUPER ANGRY! >8(]] My Dad is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, [[George W. Bush|George W. Bush Jr.]], and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Death threats|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, Mary Lee Walsh! >8(

'''26 September:''' It’s been over a week since my SUSPENSION; I am DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD and BORED! I have nowhere to go to attract a Boyfriend-Free woman. I’ll be writing to [[Santa Clause]] this year, hoping that he will bring me one. (8(

===2005===
'''29 March:''' Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became Majorly Shattered again. I went to the mall, like normal, I picked up some chicken nuggets and a drink, then I went to my spot. I pulled up a chair to sit and eat my food on. Then, from out of the blue, this cute girl approached me, and she asked me if I was looking for a Girlfriend (Her name was [[Hanna]], and she was 18-Years Old). I said yes, and we small-talked for a bit. Then she invited me over to Starbucks for coffee. After she left, I became very excited and “Oh My God” all over! After calling Mom, and eatingmy nuggets, [[English|I lefted]] the chair with such cheer and grace, and spun around with it like a dancer. Then I put it back where itwas. I felt that my [[Love Quest]] had finally come to an end, and I so elated that my Shattered Heart had a full, fast recovery. I went to Starbucks, and we talked about basic things. I showed her my [[Sonichu Scrapbook]]; she was very impressed. I gaver my E-Mail, and both my Phone Numbers, on a “Sonichu Site” card, and she gave me her E-Mail address. I was very attentive as I took notes about her, and maintained eye-contact. As I left her, I gave a “Double-Take” flirt. That was the rise; now here comes the fall. As I was sitting at my spot, thinking about future steps for later dates, [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and Dana told me that when they talked to Hanna, she told them that she was setting me up in a prank. I could not believe it, so I found and asked Hanna. Sadly, it was true. Then in major shock, my heart [[Heart level|Shattered again by 85%]], and I let out a big “NOOOOOOOO!”

So, my Love Quest has restarted, and as for that date of ours, I’ll always remember it, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesnot count as my First Date. I was not as happy, as I was today, in a long time. I am once again Heart-Shattered and sad, but I will not give up on my Love Quest, because there has to be One True Boyfriend-Free, Datable, Non-Pranking Girl out there somewhere!<ref>Chris adds in November 2007: "After that shout, I got kicked out AGAIN, and I'm still without the Fashion Square Shopping Centere that I've grown accustomed to after my whole life."</ref>

'''22 June:''' Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the McDonald’s at Wal-Mart, and apparently complaints were made. The two [[manajerks]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[B-Manajerk|Black, Fat Jerk]] (he looked a lot like the leader of the Jerkops at the Mall, whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl, like I have been doing for the past over one-year and ten-months. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the [[Jerkops]] came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the [[B-Manajerk]] was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [sic] to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my [[car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. I needed someone to talk to, so I went to the mall and talked to [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]. She was a positively great help. She listened attentively, and she gave me a terriffic [sic] suggestion, tell my One-Year and Ten-Month Old Story to the Daily Progress. It was such a great idea, because I could bad-mouth those Jerks, as well as the Jerkops, [[ScotPalazzo|Scott Manajer]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Also, with my story, I may actually attract an 18-23-Year Old Boyfriend-Free, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl.

So I dashed home and printed a second copy of my diary, and dashed to the office; the Female Reporters were in a meeting, so I left a message on an answering machine, thanks to the secretary who helped me. I’ll go back there tomorrow afternoon and try again, unless she calls me before then. Now, I feel sad, because I have nowhere else to go to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl, and I feel very furious with those Manajerks and all Men other than myself and my father. Also, the top reason for me detesting those JERKS was that they all have taken all the pretty girls, leaving me with none. That reason is now the numbertwo reason. The new number one reason is they ALL are AGAINST me in finding a Girlfriend of my own. But I will not give up on my long and teidous [sic] Love Quest; I’ll find a new Attraction Spot, somewhere in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. There has to be at least one 18-23-Year Old Boyfriend-Free, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic, white girl out there somewhere.

'''20 July:''' … I was at the new [[Target]] store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. [[Homos|A thousand pounds of sausages]] on [[Obesity#Denial|my 180 pound body]] was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my family. But now I have to go to court on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall. So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But my mother and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called [[Bagget]] (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how [[Random-access humor|funny]] it was).

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:2000s]]
[[Category:Journals]]

1990s

2026-08-23T22:29:20Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* 1998 */

[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg|thumb|right|Chris petting some llamas.]]
{{Quote|Raise with Tender Loving Care, let your child make friends, and Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run.|Chris gives advice on how to raise an [[autistic]] child, unaware that it was exactly this obsession with "MAINSTREAM" that caused his arrested development in the 1990s.<ref>[[Mailbag 12]]</ref>}}

The '''1990s''' was where [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] spent an abundance of his childhood. It notably saw the beginning of his obsession with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon]], which would eventually lead to the abomination we know as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Chris was aged between 7 and 17.

==1990==
'''1990''' saw Chris graduate from [[Greene County Primary School]]. It was also the year in which Chris also met his [[gal-pal]] [[Tiffany Robinson]].

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris meets [[Sonic]].]]
[[Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1991'''.]]
[[Image:0067-Christian%26Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and Barbie. That little Sonic plushie would be featured again, decades later, in [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Christian's sex vid]].]]
[[File:Cwc stamp album2.jpeg|thumb|Chris's stamp album, '''1992'''.]]
[[Image:0224-ChristianOnABus.jpg|thumb|right|Chris wants to see the schoolbus.]]

===Events of 1990===
* '''1990''' - [[Bob Chandler]] DJs the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* '''24 February''' - Christopher's 8th birthday.
* '''July''' - Christopher Morton Duckworth, later known as [[Liquid Chris]], is born.
* '''August/September''' - Chris enters 3rd grade at Greene County Primary School.
* '''4 September''' - Bob's 63rd birthday.
* '''1 October''' - Barb's 49th birthday.

==1991==
'''1991''' would be the start of a troublesome year for Christopher. He began fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] and had a conflict with the principal. Certain teachers also supposedly abused Chris, and the school's administration wanted Chris put in intensive special education or an "institution". It is not clear if Chris completed the entire school year at Nathanael Greene or if he was withdrawn earlier.

This year also saw [[Gal_pal#Tiffany_Robinson|Tiffany Robinson]] ending her friendship with Chris.

===Events of 1991===
* '''17 January to 28 February''' - {{w|Operation Desert Storm}} takes place, with [[Matthew Devoria]] fighting on the frontlines.
* '''24 February''' - Christopher's 9th birthday.
* '''April''' - A picture of Chris is taken on some monkey bars.
* '''23 June''' - The first ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' game is released.
* '''June/July''' - Christopher is first introduced to Sonic the Hedgehog.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>
* '''August/September''' - Chris enters 4th grade at Nathanael Greene. He soon develops a dislike towards the allegedly [[Homos|homosexual]] principal of the school.
* '''September''' - A picture of Chris is taken at a local playground.
* '''4 September''' - Bob's 64th birthday.
* '''1 October''' - Barb's 50th birthday.
* '''1991/1992''' - Chris is supposedly abused by the teachers and principal at Nathanael Greene.<ref name=November07>Based upon statements made by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* '''1991/1992''' - Bob takes the "abusive" faculty to court but fails.<ref name=November07/>

==1992==
In '''1992''', Chris was homeschooled by his father. Despite the presumable stress of the situation Chris was in, this year would see him have a magical encounter that'd lead him to [[Christopher's name change|changing his first name]].

===Events of 1992===
* '''1992 or 1993''' - [[Flutter]] is born.
* '''Sometime in 1992''' - Bob receives the last of two triple bypass operations.
* '''24 February''' - Christopher's 10th birthday.
* '''17 March''' - [[Ivy O'Neil]] is born
* ''' 21 April''' - Birth of [[Winfield Winfield]].
* '''7 May''' - The 27th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified.
* '''1 July''' - Chris begins his [[:File:Cwc stamp album2.jpeg|stamp collection]].
* '''August/September''' - Chris enters fifth grade at home.
* '''4 September''' - Bob's 65th birthday.
* '''1 October''' - Barb's 51st birthday.
* '''December''' - An encounter with [[Leonard Bearstein|The Bear]] inspires Christopher to start calling himself Christian.
* '''December 9''' - [[Joshua Conner Moon]], later known by his username 'Null', is born.

==1993==
In '''1993''', Chris moved to Richmond and started attending [[Providence Middle School]]. He grew more and more obsessed with ''Sonic the Hedgehog'', even entering a [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|certain Sonic contest]].

[[File:1993family.png|thumb|Chris and parents pictured in the ''{{w|Richmond Times-Dispatch}}'', '''1993'''.]]

===Events of 1993===
* '''1993''' - Chris's [[Son-Chu|noble steed]] is manufactured.
* '''5 February''' - [[Stephen Boyd]] is born.
* '''24 February''' - Christopher's 11th birthday.
* '''10 April''' - [[ProjectSNT]] is born.
* '''September''' - Chris and Bob move to Richmond, where Chris begins attending Providence, entering the sixth grade.<ref name=November07/><ref name=bear>[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]].</ref>
* '''4 September''' - Bob turns 66.
* '''6 September''' - The cartoon ''Adventures of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' premieres in syndication. To promote it, the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] is launched not long after the premiere, which Chris soon enters.<ref>As stated in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] video.</ref>
* '''Autumn''' - Chris meets [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
* '''1 October''' - Barb turns 52.
* '''19 November''' - Amy Rose and Metal Sonic's first American appearance, in ''{{w|Sonic CD}}''. Little did they know the horror of the future [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and [[Metal Sonichu]].
* '''20 November''' - Chris attends the grand opening of {{w|Service Merchandise}} in Midlothian, VA. He gets Spider-Man's autograph and meets Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Barbie, Santa Claus and a dog.
* '''29 December''' - [[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves|An article]] in the ''{{w|Richmond Times-Dispatch}}'' discusses Chris, his name change and the Sonic contest.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20091113231947/http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT&type=current&date=Dec+29,+1993&author=Barbara+Green&pub=Richmond+Times+-+Dispatch&desc=IT+TOOK+A+TALKING+BEAR+TO+GIVE+THE+NAME+A+YOUNG+BOY+LOVES&pqatl=google Partial article archive with publication date intact], Barbara Green - Richmond Times</ref>

==1994==
In '''1994''', Chris legally changed his name. He also won the Sonic contest, bringing in over $1,000 worth of [[Sega]] games and consoles.

===Events of 1994===
* '''early 1994''' - Chris's name is legally changed from Christopher to Christian.
* '''1 February''' - [[Helena Fiorenza]] is born
* '''24 February''' - Christian's 12th birthday.
* '''26 February''' - Christian wins the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].<ref name=DVD_Date>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* '''2 March''' - Butthurt that they lost their original case, the Chandlers file their appeal with the Virginia Court of Appeals. They are represented by James B. Dick.
* '''9 May''' - The record of the case of Bob Chandler vs. Greene County School Board is received by the Virginia Court of Appeals.
* '''27 May''' - [[DoopieDoOver]] is born.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-07-19-17-doopie-commission.32399/post-2438411</ref>
* '''28 June''' - The Virginia Court of Appeals writes a written decision that dismisses the case of of Bob Chandler vs. Greene County School Board.
* '''9 July''' - [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] sends [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] a [[:File:ColePostcardA.jpg|postcard]] from San Francisco about his band.
* '''16 July''' - [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] performs at Troubadour with special guest Brian Vouglas.
* '''August/September''' - Christian enters the seventh grade at Providence Middle School.
* '''22 August''' - [[Joshua Wise]], ringleader of the [[Idea Guys]], is born.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/idea-guy-joshua-wise-manipulating-the-intellecutally-disabled-for-fun-megathread.37132/page-65 Joshua's thread on Kiwi Farms]</ref>
* '''4 September''' - Bob turns 67.
* '''1 October''' - Barb turns 53.

==1995==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1995'''.]]

In '''1995''', Chris entered eighth grade at Providence Middle School.

===Events of 1995===
* '''24 February''' - Christian's 13th birthday.
* '''March''' - first appearance of {{w|List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_video_game_characters#Chaotix|Chaotix}} in [[Sonic|''Knuckles' Chaotix'']]. If they had known about the horror of the [[Chaotic Combo]], they wouldn't have bothered.
* '''March 25''' - [[Keffals|Clara "Keffals" Sorrenti]] is born as Lucas Roberts.
* '''26 April''' - Tedrall, a friend of Cole's, posts on a listserv inquiring about Jack Dale Smithey, as Cole still believes that he, rather than his true and honest biological father Ran Coleman Yeatts, is his biological father.
* '''Summer''' - The Chandler family moves out of Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments and into the [[Surrywood Subdivision]].<ref name=CWCNote2>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* '''10 June''' - [[Bryanfrogboy]] is born.
* '''16 July''' - [[JenkinsJinkies]] is born.
* '''August/September''' - Christian enters the eighth grade at Providence Middle School.
* '''7 August''' - Birth of [[Savannah Chandler]].
* '''4 September''' - Bob turns 68.
* '''1 October''' - Barb turns 54.
* '''25 December''' - Chris receives a 'Two-Faced Sports Fan' remote caddy, a Power Rangers Shogun Megazord, and a new bicycle for Christmas.

==1996==
[[Image:0105-MomRetire13.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1996'''.]]

'''1996''' was a rather [[stress]]ful year for Chris's parents. The neighbors around their new house in [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]] started spreading rumors about the Chandler family. This was rather hard for Bob and Barbara to bear. Christian himself didn't seem to mind the trouble too much; this year, he began attending [[Manchester High School]], where he apparently spent the happiest years of his life.

===Events of 1996===
* '''7 February''' - The [[Bob Chandler#Career|Western Electric Company]] becomes defunct.
* '''23 February''' - Barb and Bob arrive in Chris's special ed class for a birthday celebration.
* '''24 February''' - Christian's 14th birthday. He receives a Spyrius Robo-Guardian Lego set.
* '''27 February''' - ''Pokémon Red'' and ''Green'' are released in Japan: the first appearance of [[Pikachu]].
* '''Early Spring''' - Barbara retires from Secretarial Services at [[Virginia (state)|Virginia]] Power.<ref name=CWCNote2/> Chris attends her retirement party.
* '''Late Spring''' - Christian graduates from Providence on honor roll.<ref name=November07/>
* '''June/July''' - The Chandler family moves out of the [[Surrywood Subdivision]], and starts living in the [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]]. According to Chris, some of the neighbors spread rumors about his family.<ref name=CWCNote2/>
* '''1 September''' - Christian begins his freshman year at Manchester High School.<ref name=November07/>
* '''4 September''' - Bob turns 69.
* '''11 September''' - [[Ryan Cash]] is born.
* '''Autumn''' - Chris becomes a water boy for the varsity [[basketball]] team.
* '''1 October''' - Barb turns 55.
* '''12 October''' - [[BlueSpike]] is born.
* '''2 November''' - Barb is given a ticket for "Curse and Abuse".
* '''13 November''' - During basketball practice, Chris thinks up [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].
* '''24 or 25 December''' - Chris presumably receives a Nintendo 64 for Christmas.

==1997==
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|thumb|right|Christmas '''1996'''.]]
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1997'''.]]

In '''1997''', Chris is still studying happily at Manchester High School. He now also manages the school basketball team.

===Events of 1997===
* '''1997''' - Chris is rejected by [[Laura Dorazio]].
* '''1997''' - Cole Smithey begins reviewing films.
* '''Winter/spring''' - Chris has an altercation with a [[Chris and race#Black people|black]] boy on the school bus and breaks his glasses. He is demoted to the [[Manchester High School#The Bus|short bus]].
* '''28 January''' - Barb is given a ticket for going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone.
* '''14 February''' - Valentine's Day. At a dating match-up at school, Chris is paired up with cheerleader [[Molly Quarles]].
* '''24 February''' - Christian's 15th birthday.
* '''1 April''' - The first episode of the ''Pokémon'' [[anime]] is broadcast in Japan; Pikachu becomes a cultural icon there.
* '''June''' - Christian allegedly had a prophetic [[dream]] about Sonic the Hedgehog appearing on [[Game Boy]].<ref>Claimed by Chris in [[Sonichu Powerpoint|his PowerPoint.]]</ref>
* '''26 July''' - An mini-article is published in the Richmond Times Dispatch about how Bob corrected various news outlets about Old Ironsides and when the ship had last sailed under its own power.
* '''5 August''' - Another Richmond Times-Dispatch article discusses Bob's correcting various news outlets about Old Ironsides and when the ship had last sailed under its own power.
* '''August/September''' - Christian begins his sophomore year at Manchester High School.
* '''4 September''' - Bob's 70th birthday.
* '''17 September''' - The death of [[Red Skelton]].
* '''1 October''' - [[Barbara]]'s 56th birthday. Chris and Bob are photographed laughing like idiots.
* '''10 November''' - Barb is given a ticket for having an expired license plate.
* '''25 December''' - Chris receives a Cortland video camera, a Lego playset, a [[Peanuts|Snoopy doll]], a ''Cartooning with Charles Schulz'' kit, {{w|''Wave Race 64''}}, {{w|''Mischief Makers''}} and an extra Nintendo 64 controller for [[Christmas]]. He also gives Bob a {{w|Yoshi}} plushie.

==1998==
[[File:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's '''1998''' gift to [[Cole Smithey]].]]

In '''1998''', Chris received an F in English class. This would hurt him severely, inspiring him to create the "[[Song of Christian]]" in retribution. Nevertheless, this year wasn't too unhappy for him; ''Pokémon'' debuted in America this year, eventually giving him another massive obsession that'd sow the seeds further for [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]].

===Events of 1998===
* '''1998 or 1999''' - Chris unlocks the parental lock on his television and finds an adult movie. His raging hormones result in him discovering masturbation for the very first time.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>
* '''1 January''' - Chris gives Cole a Lego sculpture of a rock band as a New Year's present.
* '''2 February''' - Chris begins to wear his [[Respectable Frames]] according to his [[CWC's Diary|Diary]]. Note, however, that he was already wearing glasses during the [[Manchester High School#The Bus|bus]] incident which he claims happened in 1997.
* '''24 February''' - Christian's 16th birthday.
* '''14 May''' - Chris writes the [[Song of Christian]].
* '''15 May''' - Chris records himself reading [[Song of Christian]] and explaining it line by line for his English class.<ref name=DVD_Date/>
* '''4 June''' - Christian makes his [[Chris's DVD#Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera|Lego Raceway Animation]].<ref name=DVD_Date/>
* '''August/September''' - Christian begins his junior year at Manchester High School.
* '''4 September''' - Chris records a [[KCWC]] "[[KCWC broadcast|broadcast]]" on tape. Barbara "calls in" saying that she wants to request a song for Bob's 71st birthday, humoring him like he's six years old, when in reality, he was sixteen.
* '''4 September''' - Bob turns 71.
* '''8 September'''
** The ''Pokémon'' [[anime]] makes its American debut through syndication. Chris becomes an avid fan.
** Chris's chemistry class participates in a bingo game where students have to learn about each other in order to win.
* '''17 September''' - Chris creates a map in his U.S. Government class about America's role in the Korean War.
* '''30 September''' - ''Pokémon Red'' and ''Blue'' are released in America. Things would never be the same in the Chandler household.
* '''1 October''' - [[Barb]] turns 57.
* '''13 October''' - Chris draws a diagram of Dealey Plaza and the Kennedy assassination for his U.S. Government class.
* '''15 October''' - Chris takes notes about the Women's Movement for his U.S. Government class. Also, Chris takes more notes about JFK's assassination.
* '''19 October''' - Chris creates a map concerning America's role in the War in Southeast Asia.
* '''29 October''' - Chris completes a worksheet about how to be safe within the home, and takes notes on the subject.
* '''10 November''' - Chris completes an assignment for Spanish class about jobs.
* '''17 November''' - Barbara is pulled over and given a ticket for disregarding a red light.
* '''22 November''' - Chris completes a Review Sheet about Reagan and the Evil Empire. He receives a perfect score.
* '''27 November''' - The Japanese release of Sega's final console, the Dreamcast.
* '''December''' - The Pokémon [[Card Games|TCG]] is first introduced in North America.
* '''4 December''' - Chris writes his rough draft of his ''Canterbury Tales'' essay.
* '''7 December''' - Chris writes about his bedroom in Spanish and draws a picture of it. The depiction of his room is littered with video games.
* '''10 December''' - Chris writes a final draft for his ''Canterbury Tales'' essay. He receives a 69, or a D+.
* '''11 December''' - Chris writes the FCAs for his ''Canterbury Tales'' essay.
* '''21 December''' - Chris completes a questionnaire concerning where he is on the political spectrum for his U.S. Government class. Chris concludes that he is a liberal.

==1999==
{{Main|1999}}
[[Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in 1999.]]

'''1999''' saw the ''Pokémon'' franchise breaking big in America. During this time, Chris started making Pokémon-themed websites, and even got into the [[Chris's DVD#Chris Chan in the Pok'eNews|PokéNews]]. According to [[Lucas]], Chris started showing up at [[The GAMe PLACe]] around this time.<ref>Based on an estimate by [[Lucas]] in [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]].</ref> Chris also created many of his "original" Pokémon cards this year for his [[Wall of Originals]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:1990s| ]]
[[Category:Chronology]]

Red String of Fate

2026-08-21T21:50:04Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!|[[CWC's Diary]]}}

[[Image:Redstringoffate.jpg|thumb|The Artifact of Fail itself.]]
[[Image:Chrisfish.png|thumb|[[I Got A Fish|Would you like to make a wish?]]]]
[[Image:Red-string.jpg|thumb|The red string, as shown in ''Excel Saga''. Notice the Chris look-a-like next to the man with the string, and the lack of any references to "fishing".]]

The '''Red String of Fate''' was a plot [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] came up with in [[2004]] to attract a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. He probably got it from ''[[Excel Saga]]'' or some other [[anime]], as the {{w|Red thread of fate|red string}} is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting rituals, similar to the concept of having a soulmate (emphasis on metaphor). Chris's subtle expression of courtship failed to be appreciated as he took too many [[autism|artistic]] liberties with the concept.

According to [[Lucas]] and [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, then pull the string like he was "reeling" them in. The small red heart had text around the outside reading "PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO MY OWNER", an ingenious strategy to reel in da ladies.

In his [[CWC's Diary|diary]] entry for 1 [[August 2004]] he writes, I have a NEW idea "that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING." Four days later, a [[Jerkop|mall security guard]] took Chris's red string off him. Chris never picked the idea back up.

In 2010, Chris [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting|reportedly tried another tactic]] similar to the Red String of Fate, this time using a message attached to a ''rock'' in place of the paper heart. This ploy also failed.

There is a certain irony, given how much Chris whines about [[Trolls|them]], that this method of fishing is known as {{w|Trolling (fishing)|trolling}}.

{{Love quest}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:2004]]
[[Category:Attraction Signs]]

Chris and brand loyalty

2026-08-21T21:25:41Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|You gotta have merchandise because it's like a wedding ring for the product. And it makes it- and then the fans will- will continue to support you as long as you have the merchandise a- it's like a wedding ring. |[[Download For Play Only|Chris, making his thoughts on branding as clear as he can.]]}}

[[Image:Chris Love Micky D's.png|thumb|I'm LOVIN' it.]]

'''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to repeatedly purchase a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies often use advertising, loyalty programs, product placement and contests to establish a brand in which consumers will recognize, value, and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his [[Autism|difficulty separating]] [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]], Chris tends to think advertisement is [[Axe|literal documentation of a product's effectiveness]] rather than an intrinsically biased attempt to lure consumers. As a result of his sense of entitlement, he views [[Chris and contests|winning games of chance]] as a validation of his self-worth. These qualities, in combination with his [[Autism|rigid thinking, fear of change and attraction to routine]], has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally be considered "brands", such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.

==Overview==
{{Quote|{{w|Olay|Oil of Olay}} brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good... I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously]]! I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And Axe body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!|[[Anti Troll Movement Video1|Chris, promoting hygiene products without irony.]]}}

[[Image:Rubi 110309.jpg|thumb|right|Chris considered {{w|Rubí (2004 TV series)|this}} an appropriate reward for drinking thousands of cans of Coke.]]

Chris considers his choice of brands to be a major component of his identity in much the same way as [[Autism|other]] [[Love Quest|things.]] In general, once Chris has committed to a particular "brand", he will stand by it regardless of its quality. He considers those who abandon a brand in favor of a competitor, such as [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] fans who became fans of [[Asperchu]], to be "hypocrites". Chris seems to consider being a consumer of a particular brand as something like a relationship — at one point clumsily attempting to use a mangled quote from the video game ''{{w|Brütal Legend}}'' to explain this strange belief, saying that merchandise was like a wedding ring and that as long as there was branded merchandise available, fans should stay loyal.<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>

As Chris's allegiance to brands plays such an important role in defining Chris's personal understanding of his identity, he feels highly threatened when either his favorite brands or his loyalty to them are called into question. Many of Chris's most notorious outbursts are a direct result of this insecurity. While this was the basis for much of Chris's internet trolling, it apparently dates back into Chris's early life when school bullies, in a form of proto-trolling, would tell him that Sonic the Hedgehog was dead in order to get a rise out of him.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>

Chris is highly susceptible to marketing and branding; he feels strong loyalty to brands even, and perhaps especially if they are essentially identical to their rivals. He is drawn to virtually every attempt at generating brand loyalty, compulsively entering any contest he encounters and fastidiously collecting various loyalty points, including [[My Coke Rewards]] and ''[[McDonald's#McDonald's Monopoly|McDonald's Monopoly]]''.

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|left|[[Chris and copyright|Free advertising]].]]

Chris seems to struggle to understand the economics of advertisements, instead of seeing them as positive features in the media he enjoys. He happily included his own versions of advertisements and product placement for real brands in his [[homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] and nearly every issue of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''; he seemed genuinely surprised that Coke, for example, wouldn't want one of his fake Coke ads — "hand-drawn charm" notwithstanding — on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also frequently states that his videos are sponsored or "brought to you by" various companies with which he has no business relationship and uses his own variation of marketing speak to plug their products.<ref>[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]</ref> Likewise he often attempts to promote his favorite brands by parroting their advertising language, a habit he has had since at least high school.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

He is a vigorous defender of his favored brands in unusual ways, warning his readers not to purchase pirated versions of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' (a PS3-exclusive title) for Xbox 360, despite the fact that this is impossible.

{{clear}}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==
{{quote|HERO OF MY LIFE|Chris, describing Sonic<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu</ref>}}
[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|A match made in heaven?]]

Sonic is the quintessential example of Chris's intense brand loyalty. Chris is, in many ways, the product of Sega's attempt to allow people to feel a personal connection with electronic appliances. Following [[Super Mario Bros.|Mario]]'s success for Nintendo, Sonic was designed to appeal to young children all over the world and act as a mascot for Sega. He was concocted by combining elements from other popular cultural elements of the early 1990s, including Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Santa Claus. Part of Sega's strategy was to employ a multi-pronged marketing technique, including video games, television shows, toys and contests. Chris followed all of these closely, and in a fateful moment became the winner of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], which cemented Sonic's place of honor in Chris's mind. Sonic became Chris's "lifelong hero," replacing his previous "lifelong hero" [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|The American Rabbit]] (despite Sonic's much greater grip on his life, Chris has often felt compelled to mention the American Rabbit, as if out of some obligation). While Sonic is certainly a popular franchise, Chris became obsessed with the hedgehog to a level likely unanticipated by Sega. During the 1990s, Sonic occupied nearly all of his thinking, serving as a fantasy world in which he could escape from the realities of daily life. Chris would generally combine Sonic with whatever he was doing, whether it was replacing the characters in ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'' books with Sonic characters, or combining Sonic with basketball to form the recolor "[[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]]." Over the past two decades, Chris has purchased nearly every Sonic-branded game, toy, and bit of merchandise, and seems to view Sonic as something resembling an old personal friend.

Instead of growing up and moving on when the Sonic brand began to grow stale at the end of the 1990s, Chris merged Sonic with his other beloved franchise at the time, [[Pokémon]], to create [[Sonichu]], who has largely replaced Sonic as the primary character in his internal fantasy world - although Sonic still makes occasional cameo appearances.

Despite Sonic's sidekick Tails' major presence in the Sonic canon, Chris rarely refers to him and conspicuously left him, or any recolor of him or two-tailed anything, absent from ''Sonichu''. Some have speculated that this may be due to popular schoolyard rumors that conjectured that Sonic and Tails were in a homosexual relationship. Chris's notorious [[homos|homophobia]] may have caused him to have an aversion to a character that he imagined might have tempted Sonic from "the straight path."

Although Mario and Nintendo were vicious rivals of Sonic and Sega, Chris seems to have been largely oblivious to this tension ([[Chris and hypocrisy|or simply did not care because he liked both brands]]) and never subjected them to the kind of hatred he would aim at rivals of his favored products later in his life.

Chris appears to worship Sonic ''the character'' more than Sonic ''the brand'', as he would be easily teased at school when other students said that Sonic was dead<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>, and believed that [[YouTube]] animator Max Gilardi (a.k.a. Hotdiggedydemon) had murderous intent against the [[Chris and reality|fictional character]] in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF9CS3L_ezw Sonic: Too Fast?] and insisted [[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Sonic: Too Fast?|that Sonic was alive]]. Chris's almost religious dedication to Sonic reached a surprising apex when he [[26 December 2014|vandalized products and assaulted retail workers]] over a superficial change to Sonic, [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of his arms]].

==[[PS3|PlayStation 3]] vs. [[HEXBox]]==
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|Violence is never the answer.]]
[[Image:cwcps3_by_nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|right]]
{{quote|Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call My Digital Home. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|[[PS3 History Level|Chris expressing TRUE and HONEST love.]]}}

Perhaps Chris's best known case of brand loyalty is his sycophantic love of the [[Sony]] [[PlayStation 3]] and abject hatred for the [[HEXBox|Microsoft Xbox 360]]. While fanboyism for these video game consoles is certainly well-known and the rivalry between these products is referred to as a "console war", Chris, as he frequently does, took it to a new level, irrationally hating the Xbox 360 and heaping love and money on Sony. Chris was obsessed with the PlayStation 3 long before he was able to purchase one, stating that he would throw out the cure for autism for the $600 hunk of black plastic.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> When he finally bought a PS3, after failing to [[Pixelated PS3|win it in a contest]], he considered it to be the "ultimate life upgrade". The PS3 and its online component the [[PSN]], where he has spent thousands of dollars, became an extremely important part of every day for Chris. He would also use his limited budget to purchase numerous Sony-branded accessories, including a flat-screen TV, a [[PSEye]], PSmove, PSmove Sharpshooter and multiple ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controllers. Chris seemed to find more pleasure in the purchasing of PS3 content than in its actual use. He frequently bought downloadable content for games he didn't own. Chris seemed to consider the PS3 and its games and accessories to be a genuine life improvement or something akin to investments rather than a glorified hugbox; how these electronic gizmos do anything but distract him from reality remains unclear. Chris went to great lengths to express his distaste for the PS3's primary rival: the Xbox 360, or "HEXbox" as he liked to call it. When Chris would propose a video game such as ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', he would make sure to state that it would be for all consoles... HEXbox excepted. Chris went as far as defacing in-store advertisements for the Xbox while yelling "kick that hex-bawx"<ref>[[August 2010]]</ref> and frequently lashing out at those who appeared to like or be affiliated with the Xbox.

Chris's reasons for hating the Xbox 360 have never been clearly defined. When pressed for answers, Chris would generally cite Xbox Live's (Xbox's online component) cost or the infamous "{{w|Xbox 360 technical problems|red ring of death}}".<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> He would later admit that his anger stemmed from jealousy over being unable to afford an original Xbox and that the aforementioned reasons were merely excuses<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>. Though he later softened his stance against the Xbox under the influence of [[Jackie]], the rivalry between the consoles and Chris's loyalty towards Sony was at its peak during the height of Chris trolling. This caused his hatred to become well known and the Xbox 360 to become a bit of a mascot for trolls. Chris also associated the Xbox with trolls, depicting [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] as an Xbox user. Even though he has recanted much of his hatred towards the Xbox 360, he's never made the choice to purchase one, despite spending the vast majority of his money on video games. He would, however, later acquire the 360's successor, the Xbox One.

Chris once felt similar hatred towards the PlayStation 1 and 2, which were at that time rivals to his beloved Nintendo 64 and GameCube respectively.<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]] - "Xbox and PlayStation 2, my opinion is the same as yours, they both stink. Yeah, I do not even own them, I do not even want them, and that goes double for the PS1 as well."</ref> His hatred for Sony and its gaming products, described by Chris as equal to his contemporary hatred of Microsoft, evaporated when he purchased a PlayStation 1 at a local SPCA rummage sale for a "bargain." He intended to sell it for profit, but instead played it and found it to be enjoyable. Instead of learning from this, discovering that rival consoles can be equally enjoyable, Chris simply became a [[Sony]] fanboy (in addition to a [[Nintendo]] fanboy) and began hating Microsoft.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==[[Autism]] vs. [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]]==
{{quote|Competing Retards|[[Mailbag 19|The first words that come to Chris's mind when he thinks of Asperger's syndrome]]}}

Chris extends his loyalty to brands far outside the normal realms of products and services and into the world of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental abnormality.]] He is extremely loyal to his diagnosis of autism, swearing by "my autism" multiple times and considering it to be an integral part of his identity, despite having serious difficulty grasping how the condition affects his ability to function. Just as with the PS3 and Xbox 360, Chris has identified a rival to autism in Asperger's syndrome. This is a classic case of Chris's propensity to choose one "brand" over another despite the fact that they are identical; Chris's "high-functioning" autism and Asperger's are essentially the same diagnoses. Chris feels that people with Asperger's are trying to "steal his limelight" and in fact stated that the name of the disorder, beyond merely sounding like "a bad cut of meat," brought to mind "competing retards." He seems to believe that people with Asperger's syndrome are somehow faking their symptoms.

Chris's loyalty to autism and insistence on believing it to be different from Asperger's syndrome forces him to ignore any kind of reason. Initially, his unusual feelings on the matter were unknown and he was able to blissfully hold onto his ignorance unopposed, but when they were discovered and the outside world pushed him on the issue he displayed a stunning slide towards the grossly irrational. Initially, when confronted by "fans" in the [[mailbag]], Chris claimed, while pointing to the Wikipedia articles on the topic, that the two were differentiated by the age of onset (which is complete nonsense), but quickly decided that his "mind was closed" to the matter and refused to answer any more questions on the topic. When pushed further by [[Vivian Gee]], Chris went as far as to say that he was willing to "[[Chris and reality|live this lie than believe that truth]]."

==[[Harry Potter]] vs. [[Pokémon]]==
[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Chris expressing his hatred for "that spaz" the only way he knows how... in Pokémon form.]]
{{quote|He dared compete against Pok'emon, PLUS he is a total Spaz, and I just do not care for him at all.|[[Mailbag 7|Chris]]}}

Although this is not seen as a traditional rivalry by the rest of the world, Chris had a strong dislike of the boy wizard [[Harry Potter]], because he perceived him to be a threat to the ''Pokémon franchise''. Chris has called him a "[[Christian Weston Chandler|total spaz]]"<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> and at one point even [[Death threats|''threatened to kill'']] [[Chris and reality|the fictional character]].<ref>[[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|"Dark Christian" card]] from [[Wall of Originals]].</ref> His hatred appeared to stem from Chris's perception that a brand was once again "stealing the limelight" from something he identified with; in this case, ''Pokémon''. While ''Pokémon'' was aimed at younger children, ''Harry Potter'' targeted a slightly older, more literate demographic. To Chris, the choice was obvious.

In later years, Chris softened his stance on Harry Potter, admitting his initial antipathy towards the franchise was "stupid".<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> At the request of [[Jackie]], he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dressed up as a wizard and made reference to Harry Potter]].

==My Little Pony==
Chris initially became a fan of the [[My Little Pony]] franchise after seeing his friend [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] had an interest in it. He was notably one of the rare few [[brony|adult male fans]] of the franchise to exist prior to the debut of the cartoon series ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'', which gained major popularity among older adults. Chris loved the show so much that, when it ended its nine-year run in [[2019]], he was distraught and outright refused to accept it was concluding. He claimed to be convinced from his [[imaginary friends]] that the series would continue, and would frequently take to video and [[Twitter]] to try and convince Hasbro to listen to him and cancel their plans to reboot ''My Little Pony''. The eventual release of ''My Little Pony: A New Generation'' would [[My Little Pony Protests|outrage him]], as best shown in his video, "[[Hasbro! MLP G4 Must Continue; NO MLP G5!]]" This is due to Chris's belief that if the show ends, his imaginary friends will not achieve their true potential. This series of protests shows that even when it comes to the same brand, Chris feels the need to pick a side and stick with it till the end.

==[[Nintendo]]==
{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have [[Chris and money|invested]] THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in Nintendo Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA.|[[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris's Inspiration|Chris, expecting his loyalty to Nintendo to be repaid.]]}}

Chris has been a lifelong fan of Nintendo products, and although his love of Sonic prevented him from becoming obsessed to the same extent with Mario, Chris has owned nearly every Nintendo console and handheld since the NES (though there have been no signs of the infamous Virtual Boy). His relationship with Nintendo and his interactions with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who he believed was interested in producing a Sonichu game, displays Chris's odd understanding of consumer/corporate relations. It appears that Chris believed that his loyalty to various corporate interests would be recognized and returned in a reciprocal fashion, as he listed his multitude of Nintendo purchases in an attempt to convince the game developer to work with him.<ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref>

==Apple/iOS==
Chris is an avid user of iOS products. In 2013, he built a [[Idea Book Case|double phone case]] to contain his iPhone 5 and 5th-generation iPod Touch. Chris used the 8GB iPhone for everything requiring cell service, and he used the 32GB iPod for entertainment - and it wasn't even his only iPod Touch at the time. He had another one of equal capacity, loaded with different content. He designed the case to make it easy to switch between products, and even considers it to be [[ego|one of his greatest inventions]].<ref>[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]</ref> Why he didn't just buy a 64GB iPhone is beyond mere mortals.

He still had the case as of 2018, but he now used it for holding not one, but [[2 Phones|two functioning iPhones]]. He bought an iPad Pro in [[May 2020]], rounding out the trilogy of iOS devices.

Despite this, Chris is on the PC side of the Mac or PC divide.

Much earlier in his life, Chris unsurprisingly preferred the [[Commodore 64]] over the Apple II (which was a common OS of choice for American schools in the [[1980s]]) whilst stating he enjoyed playing games on the latter during his primary school days.<ref>[[Warhol Tweets#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref>

==Sexuality==
{{quote|I am straight; do not label me otherwise. I would rather suffer a painful [[Tomgirl|gender-change operation]] than ever be a [[homo]].|[[Sonichu #9|Chris demonstrating proper use of a semicolon.]]}}
{{quote|Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, [[Virgin#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|THE FIRST TIME]], and maybe the second time as well, [[Mia Hamm|I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN]], I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.|[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|Chris discussing his plans for his first time with his webmaster.]]}}

Chris's former allegiance to heterosexuality and hatred for homosexuality could be seen as a form of warped brand loyalty. To Chris (prior to his [[transgender|coming out]]), heterosexual love is the purest joyous expression of emotion that can be experienced, the search for which is the noblest of quests. Its opposite — homosexual love — on the other hand, is a warped dangerous temptation and those who practice it are worthy of scorn. Chris had even forgone platonic same-sex friendships in an effort to avoid any possibility that he might associate with and be tempted by a homosexual. Just as with his hatred for the Xbox, Chris was completely closed-minded when it comes to evaluating homosexuality; to him, it was the enemy and the mere thought of it made him blind with rage. Despite his efforts at finding heterosexual love, Chris seemed more concerned with ensuring that he was properly labeled as a STRAIGHT man. His efforts to prove to the world that he was in fact not a homo included going as far as planning to record and publicize his first heterosexual experience against the wishes of his hypothetical partner. Whether Chris's former hatred for homosexuality stems from jealousy, as it did with his hatred for the XBox, is unknown.

The origin of this loyalty can be traced back to his childhood: [[Bob Chandler]], being a not-so-nice Southern gentleman, not only disliked homosexuals in the traditional bigoted manner, but suffered from frequent paranoid delusions regarding their role in his life. When Chris ran into trouble at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Bob blamed the problems not only on the principal (who he was certain was a homosexual), but on the school board which, for reasons left unclear, he believed to be stacked with homosexuals who despised his family. Even the incredibly [[naïve]] Christian was capable of seeing that this was, at the very least, an exaggeration, if not a paranoid persecution fantasy<ref>Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.</ref>. Nevertheless, this kind of hatred and paranoia sunk into Chris's mind and was compounded by Bob's unfounded and bizarre belief that Chris's trolling originated with several homosexuals who he believed frequented [[the GAMe PLACe]].

Chris's feelings on lesbianism were more nuanced. While he still felt the Biblical injunction against same-sex coupling applies, scissoring was just too hot for him to condemn.

Everything changed in [[2014]] when Chris came out as a trans lesbian. He loosened his stance on sexuality, and he now considers himself to be part of the [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] community. In 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] convinced him that he was [[bisexual]], giving his loyalty to the LGBTQ+ community completely.

==[[Axe]]==
{{quote|I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN"|[[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|Chris]]}}

Chris's loyalty to this multinational deodorant brand (called Lynx in the UK and [[PandaHalo|Australia]]) is a classic example of Chris taking advertising literally. Many commercials for the deodorant depicted women throwing themselves at men in a manner reminiscent of Chris's desire for women to approach him in public. Rather than seeing this as hyperbole, Chris [[Chris and reality|seems to believe that the product may have this effect in reality]]. Obviously, Axe has never worked as advertised for Chris, but he has maintained his status as a loyal customer for many years.

Axe is also an example of how Chris considers the products he buys an integral component of his identity. As a loyal Axe customer, he was deeply disturbed when he was told that Axe was popular in the gay community, and he felt the need to use [[YouTube]] to [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|request that the Unilever Corporation]] use labels to specifically forbid homosexuals from using their products. Chris clearly took the marketing towards heterosexual men literally.

==[[McDonald's]] vs. [[Burger King]]==
{{quote|Tea for a dollar, in a Large Cup, at McDonalds; go Dollar-Menuaires!|[[IRC (24 October 2008)|Chris, plugging his favorite restaurant to the trolls.]]}}
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris and cinematography|An example of Chris's brilliant camerawork]].]]

Chris is a lifelong acolyte of [[McDonald's]] and thus dislikes its main competitor, [[Burger King]]. McDonald's is a major component of Chris's life. He eats a significant percentage of his meals at the popular fast-food restaurant, considers it the perfect location for a first date, and features it as a location in several issues of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. One of his most cherished and sickening fantasies involves having sex with his sweetheart in the handicapped bathroom of the local McDonald's. Chris has little love for Burger King, although he certainly never mentioned refusing to eat the food when dragged there by his father, who preferred it to McDonald's. Bob and Chris apparently did have some dispute about coupons with the manager of their local Burger King, resulting in Chris's bizarre attempt to get his trolls to troll the manager by creating [[Coffee Place|an article on the CWCki]]. Chris has never mentioned having any strong positive or negative feelings toward [[Wendy's]] before his brief stint as an employee, and seems not to hold animosity toward the chain as a whole despite being fired from his local store after about a month.

Some time in 2012 Chris seemed to have turned on McDonald's, urging people to avoid the Forest Lakes location as he believes he has been discriminated against due to his autism and foul mouth. But in [[2013]], he plugged it on [[Facebook]]: ''Eat Healthy with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.'' (Note that McWraps contain up to 620 calories, and the tea 220. And even the apple slices have been found to be [http://jezebel.com/5934390/mcdonaldss-apple-slices-recalled-because-theyre-crawling-with-disease crawling with ''Listeria''].)

==Coke and Pepsi==
Surprisingly, Chris does not appear to have specific long-term loyalty in this classic example of a nonexistent choice. He has been known to drink both, but claims that Sonichu drinks only [[CWC Cola]], a variant of Pepsi with a [[Semen|special ingredient]]. At one point he supported a boycott of Pepsi due to its alleged "gay-friendliness." He was a frequent user of the [[My Coke Rewards]] program and was known to hoard points on there, drinking ''tons'' of sugary soda to redeem points for prizes like free Blockbuster rentals, DVD sets of Spanish soap operas, and [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|free legal MP3 downloads]]. In the [[Ivy Q&A]], Ivy describes Chris becoming miffed at having to use his points to buy a different version of a song he already owned to fulfill her request for a video. One might think that a few points are a trifling thing when sweet, sweet [[china]] is the potential reward, but then one probably isn't Chris.

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and cameras

2026-08-20T05:43:35Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{quote|Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge? A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.|[[Common Questions|Chris, believing it's all in the equipment]]}}
{{quote|Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.|[[Talk:Coffee Place#Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.|Chris]], trying to troll us as [[JenkinsJinkies]]. Like we wouldn't know what tinted windows actually do to your photographs.}}

[[Image:camerawork2.png|thumb|For as much as he sucks at positioning photos, at least Chris is real good at hiding his failures.]]

'''Cameras''' are one of the most ubiquitous and defining inventions of the 1800s through today, allowing folks around the world to document their lives and create [[Chris and art|art]] without ever touching a brush. One of those folks is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], who has been on both sides of the camera from an early age.

Chris's approach to camerawork is all kinds of abysmal, whether we're talking about still photography or video work. Despite years and years of constant and obviously enthusiastic photography and home video making, Chris hasn't learned anything beyond the basics of this craft. In fact, the way he still routinely fucks up things proves that he is handling cameras far ''worse'' than your average Joe with an iPhone...and as we've seen from [[12 October 2009|what Chris has done]] to his camera, "bad camera handling" can be interpreted in more than one way.

Chris's video production efforts have been hindered by the fact that, despite [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|years of practice]], he doesn't know anything about cinematography. He's oblivious to several bits of common sense, like "if you want to see anything at all, light the scene properly." Chris goes as far as to [[Brutal Legend|never even check his videos]] before uploading them, nor does he [[Live Drawing Streams|check his recording equipment]] before filming.

Note that not every failure in Chris's cinematography can be attributed solely to Chris; it's obvious that in some cases where he's in front of the camera he has gotten help that goes beyond merely using a camera timer or doing heavy-handed editing. Yet, he still fancies that he's in creative control, which proves that he just doesn't see any mistakes in his pet projects, no matter how obvious. If you end up as [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Great Director Chandler]]'s cameraman, he won't complain about your lack of talent (nor compliment you if you outdo him), unless you fail to draw Rosechu's tail correctly.

==Chris's cameras==
[[File:Chris holding PSEye.png|thumb|right|A glimpse of the [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]] in [[SingStar Challenge#SingStar Challenge Announcement|a video]].]]
Chris's camera equipment has been fairly mediocre over the years, even by home video standards.

One of Chris's first photo cameras was a cheap one from Remco, who created cameras in the early 1990s based on licensed properties. These cameras had the option to imprint a small image of a character or person from said property on pictures taken, hence why some of Chris's childhood photos have Raphael from ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' in the bottom-right corner.

His first known camera for videos was a Cortland video camera, a cheap budget device not unlike the later [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixgsYAfZ8eo Tyco VideoCam]. It filmed black-and-white VHS footage, and it was not a camcorder – you needed to plug it into a VCR. Chris used this camera for [[Song of Christian]], his earliest known self-recorded video. The low-quality footage (even for its time) shows as half of Chris's face is black throughout the clip.

Chris's primary camera from the classic era was his ''[[PSEye]]''. That camera had seen enough abuse to start randomly stuttering and losing connection mid-video. Chris took better care of its successor, the [[PS4]] camera, though he didn't know how to turn off the default background music while recording for some time.

Chris's other classic era camera was a Kodak EasyShare CX7330, which he got during its launch year of [[2004]], and used from that year up to [[2012]]. It too saw its own share of physical abuse, but that wasn't enough to damage it the same way it did with the PSEye. The camera was primarily made for pictures, but was also capable of recording videos; however, as an early digital camcorder, it was only capable of videos up to a 240p resolution and ran on a much lower frame rate.

Chris has been an early adopter of mobile device cameras: he has owned a Game Boy Camera and a Nintendo DSi, the latter of which was used to shoot photos of [[Michael Snyder]] in the [[GAMe PLACe]]. Chris owns two iPhones and regularly uses them for pictures and videos – these are perhaps his highest-quality cameras, offering 12-megapixel resolution.

Chris borrowed a proper film SLR for [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], proving that poor equipment is far from his only photographic failure.

==Framing the shots==
[[Image:Gibson.jpg|thumb|250px|This is an excellently centered image, with a delightful backdrop.]]
[[Image:Son-Chu Toys "R" Us1.jpeg|thumb|250px|Chris attempting to use forced perspective.]]

Chris assumes that if he can see the lens, then everything can be seen by the lens. He has no idea what it means to be in the focus of a shot, and is constantly standing way out of center, or putting stuff so close to the camera you can't even tell what you're looking at. A shining example is [[ToJackie|a video to Jackie]] in which he "swore on the Bible," yet the poor framing makes it impossible to tell whether the object he holds is actually a book, let alone a Bible. When handling the camerawork directly, Chris often attempts to experiment with the camera's positioning without properly considering what his audience will see, and as such we are on the receiving end of [[Videobooks|many]] [[Sonichu's Edge|masterpieces]]. Additionally, his lack of proper equipment or controlled co-ordination tends to [[Obesity|weigh down]] such endeavors with constant shaking, or disorienting angles, especially in [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|videos]] [[Don't Mess With Me|where]] [[Bunny Hop|he]] [[100 2278|moves]] [[CWC Fighter|around]].

In some of his more recent videos, such as [[Doxing Jeff/Francine]] from [[November 2015]], Chris has taken to using the image stabilization feature on his iPhone to help steady his shaky-handed recordings. The result is a wobbly image against a mostly black background when the videos are put up on YouTube, which doesn't make things any much better.

==Focus==
Chris relies extensively on autofocus. Autofocus usually works with a slight delay and it usually can't focus on subjects that are too close to the camera. Many cameras have a specific autofocus mode or require manual focus for [[wikipedia:macro photography|macro photography]]...and judging by some rather blurry shots in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]] (probably shot with a 35mm SLR camera from the school), he can't even get the latter right. While professional photographers do use autofocus, it is less common for serious video work, and unheard of in professional filmmaking (focus pullers are still hired for a reason).

==Lighting==
Light is the essence of vision – "photography" comes from the Greek for "writing with light". Most photographers, even casual iPhone users, know that lighting can make or break an image. This basic fact escapes Chris.

===Classic era videos===
[[File:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|thumb|right|Chris's clueless flash photography is one reason why we know so little about his room and so much about his wardrobe and skin conditions.]]

Most of Chris's [[YouTube]] videos have been lit completely wrong. Plainly put, if you're making videos indoors, ''you've got to turn the room lights on!'' Human brains can automatically adjust to different color temperatures, but film and video cameras either lack the automata to handle this, or are constantly struggling in bad lighting conditions to figure out what's going on. Cameras also have to amplify the weaker image of a dark scene, resulting in a grainy, staticky image.

Chris assumes that if there's enough natural light coming in for him to see anything at all, then the video is lit properly. As a result, many of Chris's indoor video shots have a distinct, disgusting yellow tint that make it look like it was shot in a jar filled with pee (indeed, many have compared Chris's videos to that of [[wikipedia:Piss Christ|Piss Christ]]). Of course, it also doesn't help that he has never heard of [[wikipedia:Color balance|white balance]]. This is somewhat subverted with his videos shot on his [[iDea Book Case|iPhone]] and his PlayStation Camera, but other factors hamper down whatever merit he gets out of it.

===Backlighting===
Many of Chris's photographs, as in the Scrapbook and A Week With Christian Chandler, have been shot against light (i.e., camera facing the light source). This usually leaves the subjects in shadow and obscures the details. Backlighting isn't always a bad thing – when done outdoors, it will highlight the subject's hair and create a beautiful halo effect (especially during a sunset), and it can flatter subjects who would squint if facing the sun. However, the technique isn't nearly as flattering when attempted indoors, and it generally requires proper exposure, editing, and/or HDR to get right. Since nearly all of Chris's work is shot indoors, you can guess how it turns out.

===Flash photography===
Chris also commits a common novice mistake in thinking that camera flash completely negates the need for proper lighting (a [[naïve]] view of "if it's day, everything is OK, but if it's night or you're indoors, then just use the flash"). In fact, flash will highlight the front of the scene, but it can also overexpose the shot if the subject is too close to the camera. Other results of using flash without other light include heavy contrast, unlit backgrounds, and stark shadows, all thanks to the [[wikipedia:inverse square law|inverse square law]]. Again, some photographers use this as an artistic effect (especially for dramatic shots), but Chris's sloppy approach doesn't add anything to the image.

===Today===
As of [[October 2015]], Chris has begun lighting his room before filming it, as evidenced in videos like [[Thank You from Christine Chandler]] and [[HelloLadyFans]], which lack a green tint. So far, this shift has stuck, as all of Chris's videos from that point are lit sufficiently.

However, "sufficiently" is the bare minimum. Many dedicated YouTubers use specialized video lighting or put some care into light placement, making sure the subject receives the right amount of brightness from the right angles. Chris, on the other hand, uses nothing but the overhead lights in his room, which spread a bit of light throughout the room from straight down. The resulting image is mediocre, flat, and unflattering, much like a DMV photo.

==Post-production==
[[File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|right|thumb|A shining example of Chris's amazing screenshot work.]]

As inept as he is at video production, he's equally bad at post-production as well. A good example of this is whenever he needs to put text on the screen during his videos. Even the simplest video editing software like Windows Movie Maker or iMovie will allow you to easily put text on the screen and make it so that anyone watching the video can read it, whether it's changing the color of the font or adding a drop shadow. Chris doesn't do this, opting instead to write the text on a piece of paper and film it with his camera. Probably the best example of this is seen in [[The July 10th Messages]] where, at the start of each of the videos, he films a piece of paper with a YouTube username while informing us that the video we're about to see is addressed to the user shown. In one of the videos, he has a message below the username that, because he never bothers to focus the camera, is completely unreadable. This wouldn't be a problem if he could just use software to add text to the video.

He did once use video editing software, albeit a really basic one that's built into the PSEye software, to add text and effects, in his [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|entry in the ''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest]] that the no-good [[Adam Stackhouse]] ended up winning. The result is the video makes even less sense than it did without the use of editing software. The effects added to the video are all stock effects, most of which make no sense in the context of the video. For example, in one part, Chris put up a graphic that reads "Birthday Boy" on the screen, even though the video had nothing to do with his birthday. One can argue, though, that this was his attempt at [[random-access humor]] and that it's not supposed to make sense.

This is not to say he can't edit, because there are a couple of music videos that show that he can, indeed, put shots together in a way that the video conveys a message that it's supposed to. This is present in his music videos for "[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out for a Hero]]" and "[[CWC "Boyfriend"|Boyfriend]]". Of course, they both suck, but the fact that he can at least put shots together proves that, if he could just learn how to use editing software for more than just putting shots together, he could be a filmmaker. Then again, he never learns.

When the video is uploaded to YouTube, most of the time Chris doesn't bother to name it. And when he does, he leaves the .MOV extension in the video title, suggesting that his videos are uploaded in the QuickTime format. Obviously, he wouldn't bother using any of his [[monthly tugboat]] purchasing a Mac when there are better things to [[Chris and money|spend your tax dollars]] on. Whether the computer in the kitchen has software that exports to QuickTime or his camera uses SD cards or other flash memory in a way that he can simply upload the video from the memory is a mystery.

In [[Some Favored Comedians]], Chris, in an attempt to insert clips for comparison, records the TV screen. Recording things off the TV screen without extra preparation often results in a completely unwatchable picture, and this is no exception, as if the camera is focused on the TV, everything else in the room is darkened and a series of black lines appear on the screen. In this case, because the camera isn't focused, the TV shows nothing but bright, unfocused colors. Most people would think that ''actually editing the clips in'' might be a far more sensible strategy--Chris shows clips from ''The Cleveland Show'' and ''Family Guy'', shows that are readily available online and on Amazon Instant Video, iTunes and DVD. However, knowing YouTube's notoriously broken copyright system, which would allow [[wikipedia:Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox]] to take it down, it's possible Chris did this intentionally to avoid getting a copyright strike.

In [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]], Chris uses very obvious and clumsy jump cuts to disguise the fact that he missed the camera when he first tried to throw a tape dispenser at it.

Chris can't even take screenshots, a novice action, properly without screwing it up, as one can see in the ''[[Family Guy]]'' picture shown at the right. Not only does it display that Chris is unaware of software that can capture images on computer screens ([[wikipedia:Snipping Tool|one of which]] is ''bundled with Windows computers''), the shot he took of his computer screen is blocked by glare from the background lights, as well as the watermark that appears when a Hulu video is paused.

===DaVinchi Resolve===
'''DaVinci Resolve''' or as Chris misspells it '''DaVinchi Resolve''', is an Australian video editing and post-production software Chris began using in late 2023 to edit most of his YouTube videos. Chris is shown to be using the software in some behind the scenes videos he recorded.<ref>[[Editing CC-82 Review Video]]</ref><ref>[[Transformers Legacy United Merged General Electric Defense - Behind The Scenes]]</ref>

==Animation==
{{see also|Flipnote Hatena}}
Chris used to make stop-motion [[Lego]] animations, which were shot with the [[wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera]] and transferred to videotape (and eventually the DVD) using a combination of the [[wikipedia:Super Game Boy|Super Game Boy]] and a VCR. The main problem with these animations was the grainy picture quality, breakneck pace and lack of post-processing editing (there are very visible breaks in the animation). As such, it's very difficult to make sense of what's going on in these animations.

Later on, Chris started doing Lego "animations" with a regular video camera. [[A Sonichu Day]] and [[PlayingHouse]] are good examples of this. These efforts are all wrecked by being out of focus, and Chris's hands blocking the view most of the time when anything worthwhile happens. Nowadays, creating stop-motion animations is relatively simple with just about any digital camera and video editing software, but this is probably way out of Chris's technical competence and lack of patience.

Chris showed significant improvement in animation with the release of [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]]. Not only did he improve his filming techniques, he even occasionally uses scene transitions, demonstrating a limited knowledge in special effects and editing.

==Green screen==
[[File:Greenscreen hair.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's hair blending into the green screen]]
In Chris's [[2023]] return to social media, he began posting videos recording with a green screen as the backdrop. This enabled alternating backgrounds to be displayed, such as a Colosseum in [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]] and fanart of Sonichu and Rosechu in [[The Return of Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime]].

Occasionally there were technical mishaps with the green screen feature. In [[Angelica Rosechu's Christmas Play]], Chris's blue-colored [[hair]] is blended into the woods-themed backdrop. In [[First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream]], Chris holds up his green-colored [[pickle]] stress toy but it blends into the red-colored backdrop.

==Other photography failures==
[[A Week With Christian Chandler]] includes a bunch of black-and-white photographs that were apparently done as part of a photography course. The photographs themselves are probably shot on 35mm SLRs, with manual iris and focus, and considering how many problems Chris nowadays has with digital cameras with ''automatic'' exposure control and focus, the results are not entirely unexpected.

Unlike color photography, black-and-white film and prints are easy to develop without complicated processes and overly expensive chemicals, so letting kids develop their own photos in school makes sense. However, failure is never too far away; Chris's report is almost a complete collection of common black-and-white photo development newbie mistakes. Most prints are over or underexposed, resulting in an overly dark or overly light print. Some have edges or corners underexposed, and one even has an underexposed band going through the image, which means that someone in the darkroom didn't quite grasp the idea of "not putting anything between the enlarger's head and the paper while the print is exposed". Some have smudges and fingerprints in resulting prints, owing to handling photographic paper with wet or dirty hands before putting it in an enlarger. One has visible dust, for the same reason.

The photos in the report, as well as some older photos, particularly the ones in the [[KCWC broadcast|slideshow]], have visible striping on them. This is likely due to the images being rescans of inkjet-printed photos, combined with DVD compression artifacts.

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log]]
*[[List of videos]]
*[[PSEye]]
*[[YouTube]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Hobbies]]

The GAMe PLACe

2026-08-19T23:17:33Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris, being oddly prophetic in [[2014 house fire|two ways]]<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe when in business at 243B Ridge McIntire Rd, Charlottesville, VA.]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' (Also known as simply '''The Place''', and later known as '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''' from [[August 2011]] until closure) was a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]], [[video game]], [[Card games|card]], [[Toys|toy]] and [[Tomgirl|hobby]] shop in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]] that originally opened in 1995. It is located about 12 miles away from [[14 Branchland Court]].

From at least [[2002]]<ref group = "note">In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' [[TCGs]]. The shop hosted the {{w|Play! Pokémon|''Pokémon TCG'' League}}, where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of increasingly disruptive behavior, and repeated warnings from staff, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 6 June 2008. After his permanent ban, Chris attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris was forced to keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension meant that he was permanently banned from the store by law after the judgement, up until its closure, which was reported on in [[June 2014]] (to date the second-longest ban-to-closure period, getting beaten out by [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] shutting its doors in late [[January 2025]]).

The former owner of the GAMe PLACe, Robert Lightburn, is a registered sex offender who was convicted for trying to arrange a liaison with a [[pedofork|policeman posing as a fourteen-year-old girl]].<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150911025700/http://www.readthehook.com/92338/cover-sidebar-risky-business-porn-loving-merchant-does-his-time The Hook article on Robert Lightburn's arrest.]</ref><ref>[[:File:Lightburn.jpg]]</ref> Chris would repeatedly invoke this fact in his tirades against the shop and even made the baseless accusation that ''Snyder'' was a pedophile as well and was perhaps [[Chris and sex#Incest|molesting his own daughter]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref>

As of [[2015]], the premises formerly occupied by the PLACe are now host to Gearharts, an artisan chocolate shop.

==People of Note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2004]],<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris-Chan explains it all]]</ref> where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of 2008, although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

Michael Snyder was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he actually purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life enemies when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|Mimms}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual [[Chris and fashion|clown shirts]] and [[medallions|Sonichu medallions]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his blatant [[Chris and race|racism]] with his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery, insults, and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for [[Obesity|obvious reasons]], Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that [[Michael Snyder]] and the former owner's son Tito were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks – his [[Autism|literal mind]] took that as proof that they were an actual couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the Card Gamer==
{{Main|Card games}}
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}

Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and [[Chris and his ego|proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"]]<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|résumé]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing [[Gal pal|female characters]] such as [[Soul Calibur|Cassandra]] and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe Photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because Mimms was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/> Shortly afterward, Michael Snyder said he would call the [[Jerkops|cops]] if Chris ever brought his parents in again.

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|the porn he drew of her]]), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris Gets the Boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management and customers in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flatscreen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

Chris received his first ban from the store on April 4, 2008 (lasting two weeks) after he went into the store's back room without permission to grab a box of assorted items for Pokémon card game sessions. According to Mimms, Mike used this as a pretext when in fact, he was losing customers because Chris was constantly making an uncomfortable environment with his spoiled and obnoxious behavior.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow-up]]</ref> Unfortunately, Chris did nothing to change his ways and things would only get worse for him later on.

The straw that broke the camel's back was an incident in the summer of [[2008]], where Chris got into a shouting match with a young [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] kid. That particular incident triggered Chris's permanent ban from the store, though Mimms stated "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point."<ref name=mimms1/> While Mimms' recollection was that the permanent ban took place in August, Chris's correspondence indicates that it must have occurred on the first Saturday of June.<ref group = "note">This is arrived at by a comparison of Chris's emails to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his GAMe PLACe friends during this summer.</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and from that point onward every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own version of events. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Mike's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [https://web.archive.org/web/20160712220237/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his banning would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, destruction of her dignity, anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wanted Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris mentioned in [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]] that he still feels bitter over his banning.

==Unbanning Attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial 1-month ban. According to Lucas, this apology letter was met with peals of laughter from himself and others at the store.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place (not to mention he brought up that the store was the only local place where he could buy cards for [[The Eye of Judgment|a TCG he was interested in]]). A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran [[Sonichu's Edge|as far away as he could]].

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban ([[TheRcholic]], a YouTube account purporting to be Michael's, later claimed that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20130408132328/http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off, called him a '''''JEW''''', and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually physically abused.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's not hard to see why it was wiped off the website.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[Chris and stress|stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Unsurprisingly, Mike wasn't moved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it was clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe were almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] (without the use of [[Mia Hamm|commercial services]]).

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder so he could print it out and use it as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything, and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime Story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}

On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as photographs uploaded to [[CWCki|this very wiki]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

In an email account of the incident, Chris justified his attempted intrusion by noticing the store was under new management and assumed this would allow him an opportunity to get his ban repealed, only to find out that Michael was still working there, thus conflict ensued.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email]]</ref>

After the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learned absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps Spamming===
A scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by one "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]" was discovered by trolls. What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that "Robert" was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also that the words "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia and North Carolina (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similar to "Robert's" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards, which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was Mike and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or toy collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews "Herny Bradston's" Review]</ref>}}

==Borb and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] revealed many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler held and continue to hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they show a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he'll never play, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

During [[Bob Call 6|a phone conversation with]] [[ThePCAssassins]], Bob claimed that "people started hating" Chris because he was "so good at" the Pokémon TCG when in fact (as noted), Chris constantly lost card game matches to ''kids'' because of how poorly he played. It also goes without saying that "people started hating" Chris because of his ill-mannered behavior and not simply due to jealousy of skills he didn't actually have.

==Chris Accepts the GAMe PLACe?==
On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It never fell through, but it could've been a ''geinus'' plan to lull Mike into a false sense of security.

==Nope, He Still Wants It Scalded==
Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly Megan and Mike, who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also wished for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.<ref>[[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind]]</ref>

Either way, given the consequences of his actions and his utter refusal to let go of childish things, it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the GAMe PLACe. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on 4 October 2013, Chris posted a very angry [[Facebook]] post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual [[JERKS|jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan [[Chris and hypocrisy|until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done]].

==The Saga Ends==
[[File:Retail Space For Rent.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Poster indicating the former location of the GAMe PLACe is now up for rent.]]
[[File:GamePlace2015A.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The interior of the vacant store in April 2015.]]

In June 2014, information was leaked on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that seemed to indicate that the GAMe PLACe had shut down for good. The historical location of the store was empty, and a poster on the store's glass front indicated that the location was up for rent. It is unknown what time frame exactly when the PLACe closed, but judging from the store's website going offline in-between December 2013 and January 2014, it could have been from around that time. According to Rail Tales, a railroad-focused hobby shop that used to share space with the PLACe before splitting and moving to its own standalone venue, the reason for its closure was due to financial issues. Even after the shut down of the store, Chris continues to hold a grudge against Mike. It is also unknown if the business simply moved away and changed its name to avoid being detected by both Chris and [[weens]] alike.

===Today===
In November 2015, Gearharts, a local fine chocolate business, moved to and opened in the former GAMe PLACe site, where it has remained operational to date. Chris mentioned the new store on the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], saying that he does not feel it is as good as the PLACe and is not interested in entering; assuming, of course, that the new tenants allow him back in.

Also in 2015, Chris began frequenting a similar card and hobby store in Charlottesville, [[The End Games]]. However, proving he can't learn from his mistakes, Chris ended up being banned from that store too, for similar reasons to his GAMe PLACe ban no less.

In September 2019, two years shy of a decade after Chris's ban, rumors began circulating online that a new PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington D.C., once again led by Snyder. Chris has yet to comment on this potential revival of his old haunt, but one of his orbiters, the malicious [[Jacob Sockness]], chose to harass Snyder in response to this, tracking down a guestbook for the funeral to the latter's recently-deceased father to torment him over banning Chris. Needless to say, nobody was impressed with this new low of [[Weening|weenery]].

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

==See also==
*[[GameStop]] - another game store Chris was banned from
*[[The End Games]] - another card and hobby store Chris was banned from

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Defunct businesses]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Yu-Gi-Oh!

2026-08-19T23:17:29Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

[[File:Chris-Chan's Yu-Gi-Oh Card.jpg|thumb|A TRUE and HONEST CWC-themed Monster Card.]]
[[Image:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|right|"I am STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT! Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls! ...and here's a drawing of me dressed as Dark Magician Girl :3"]]

'''''Yu-Gi-Oh!''''' is a Japanese manga about a boy named Yugi who, after solving an ancient artifact called the Millennium Puzzle, inherits a spirit named Yami in his body, and goes around playing a trading card game called Duel Monsters. The manga has spun off into an entire multimedia franchise, including several anime series co-produced by NAS and Studio Gallop, and an actual version of the TCG featured in the stories (produced by Konami, who sponsored the anime), which emphasize trusting in "the heart of the cards" as a key skill.

[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is a fan of the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' TCG, and has incorporated the use of its "spell cards" into ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Much like his custom [[Pokémon]] cards, Chris has created dozens of homemade Yu-Gi-Oh! cards about himself and his characters.

Though his interest in the franchise has subsided in recent years, ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' will always be noteworthy in the story of Chris's life due to him meeting [[Megan Schroeder]] during a TCG match at [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[2004]].<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris-Chan explains it all]]</ref>

==In ''Sonichu''==
Chris employs ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' references early on in the ''Sonichu'' series, usually when portraying himself himself battling [[Wes Iseli]]. His ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' influence peaks in [[Episode 12]], where Chris uses his deck of cards to prevent Wes from ruining the wedding of [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]] and [[William Spicer]]. Spicer himself is depicted as [http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20061104040054/yugioh/images/7/78/Jack'sKnightEEN-EN-R.jpg Jack's Knight], one of the characters in the cards, either because Chris couldn't draw him or didn't know what he looked like.

A side plot in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] involves Chris beaming about his new friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]], who probably sparked his unusual fixation on the game. Though the ability to turn trading cards into real effects seemed to be effective at taking down Chris's foes, he evidently lost interest in the franchise not long after, and [[Metal Sonichu|the cards vanished from that point onward without explanation]].

Chris has also drawn himself as [http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090709225705/yugioh/images/8/8c/DarkMagicianGirlDPYG-EN-SR-1E.jpg Dark Magician Girl], a female ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' character complete with hairy legs and Sonichu medallion. Whether this is an example of [[random-access humor]] or an allusion to Chris's [[Trans|eventual gender issues]] remains unknown.

==Custom ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Cards==
Chris created many custom ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards from August to September 2004, and a single one in May 2006. Some of his custom cards have effects relying on monsters being [[JERKS|male]] or [[Sweetheart|female]], such as "[[Virgin with rage|Virgin With Rage]]", "A Jerk" and "[[Attraction Sign|Girlfriend Attraction]]". This comes despite gender having no effect in official cards, rarely even being specified.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Monsters
|-
! Card
! Name
! Level
! Code
! Description
! Attack
! Defence
! Date
|-
| [[File:189-YuSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]
| 4
|
| [Beast]
A speedy [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]. He transformed from a Pikachu after exposure to the seven Chaos Emeralds.
| 1600
| 1400
|
|-
| [[File:253-YuBchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-009
| [Beast]
Blachu was cloned from Sonichu's DNA with a dose of Cherry Cola.
| 1600
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:211-YuMetonic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]
| 6
| CWC-005
| [Beast/Warrior]
His armor adds [[Obesity|weight]], so he can't perform a spin dash. His spikes are diamond-sharp.
| 2300
| 2500
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Rosechu]]
| 4
| CWC-004
| [Beast/Effect]
If Sonichu is face-up on your side of the field, increase attack of Sonichu and Rosechu by 500 points.
| 1500
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:218-YuUltSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Ultra Sonichu]]
| 10
| CWC-006
| [Beast/Effect]
Ultra Sonichu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 life points when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. Then you can Special Summon this card from your hand or your deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[File:270-YuAngelica.jpg|150px]]
| [[Angelica]] Rosechu
| 3
| CWC-016
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Prevent all effects of any of your opponent's spell cards to any of your face-up monsters.
| 1400
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:265-YuBubbles.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble Rosechu]]
| 3
| CWC-015
| [Aqua]
She was raised by a mother [[Pokémon|Swampert]] who taught her how to create tidal waves.
| 1200
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:126-YuCChan.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
| 5
| CWC-019
| [Beast]
His origin is unknown, but quandry [''[[Chris and English#Spelling|sic]]''] is brought up over the Sonichu-head mark on his chest.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:280-YuMagi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu
| 4
| CWC-018
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Each time your opponent activates a spell card, you may draw a card.
| 1400
| 1300
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:275-YuPunchy.jpg|150px]]
| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-017
| [Beast-Warrior]
He was raised in a dojo in Japan, where he lost his tail in a tough battle.
| 2000
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:302-YuSahramah.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]
| 7
| CWC-021
| [Fairy/Effect]
For each Light monster in the graveyard, increase Sarhamah's attack by 300 points.
| 2700
| 2500
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:246-YuVamprosa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]
| 5
| CWC-013
| [Beast]
Vamprosa's bite can suck the life out of her enemies. Her cape enables her to fly.
| 2000
| 1800
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:294-YuWesLi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wes-Li]] Sonichu
| 5
| CWC-020
| [Fiend/Effect]
If [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is face-up on the field, increase Chris-chan Sonichu's attack by 500 points.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:260-YuWild.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wild Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-014
| [Beast]
With his sharp razor leaf, speed and ninja skills, and he can he can escape into the wild.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin With Rage]]
| 2
| CWC-024
| [Warrior/Effect]
For each [[JERKS|male monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's attack by 500 points. For each [[Sweetheart|female monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's defense by 500 points.
| 500
| 500
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|150px]]
| A [[Jerk]]
| 4
| CWC-38
| [Fiend/Effect]
If your opponent attacks with a female monster, she can only attack this jerk.
| 2000
| 1500
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg|150px]]
| [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal The Female Twin]]
| 3
| CWC-37
| [Warrior]
Beautiful and strong with courage and confidence. She will help her male counterpart, Christian Weston Chandler.
| 1300
| 1800
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend?]]
| 3
| CWC-28
| [Fiend]
Could she be the love of my life? Probably not...; I'm sure she is already paired up with some jerk.
| 1000
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]]
| 4
| CWC-29
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Flip. Special summon 1 DARK monster from your hand onto your side of the field.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerk]]'s Loitering Lot
| 4
| CWC-39
| [Fiend/Effect]
Each time you or your opponent normal, set or Special Summons a male monster on the field, place a counter on this card (max 3). You can remove all 3 counters from this card to destroy 1 male monster on the field.
| 0
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:223-SonichuZord2.jpg|150px]]
| [[Power Rangers|Sonichu Zord]]
| 8
| CWC-25
| [Machine]
Created by [[Dr. Eggman]] for [[Giovanni]]'s Rocket Rangers, it serves to stomp the [[Chaotic Combo]].
| 3500
| 3000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[File:288-YuBionic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
| 4
| CWC-46
| [Beast]
Bionic is the world's greatest basketball player, and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s long-lost brother.
| 1800
| 1300
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:285-YuFlame.jpg|150px]]
| [[Flame the Sunbird]]
| 4
| CWC-48
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Flip. Return a monster to your side of the field to your hand in order to draw 1 card from your deck.
| 2000
| 1500
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerkop]]
| 3
| CWC-44
| [Fiend]
This "copper" fiend wants to shatter the virgin's heart by destroying his tools for attracting a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free woman]], just like how [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]] did.
| 800
| 1000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:222-YuMSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[List of Sonichu characters#Metal Sonichu|Metal Sonichu]]
| 8
| CWC-45
| [Machine]
This robot's sole purpose is to become stronger and faster to destroy [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].
| 2500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:255-YuSilvBchu.jpg|150px]]
| Silver [[Blachu]]
| 10
| CWC-49
| [Beast/Effect]
Silver Blachu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 Life Points when [[Black Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. You can then special summon this card from your hand or deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Spells
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|150px]]
| Girlfriend Attraction
|
| Special Summon 1 female monster from your hand or deck onto your side of the field.
| August 8, 2004
|-
| [[Image:212-MetonicsSword.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]'s Sword
| CWC-008
| Only [[Metonic]] can be equiped with this card. The monster equiped with this card increases its attack by 1000 points.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Apology]] Letter
| CWC-011
| If your opponent has less life than you, he/she may draw 2 cards.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:157-CityOfCwcville.jpg|150px]]
| City of [[CWCville]]
| CWC-022
| Increase the attack of all monsters on the field with Sonichu, or Rosechu, in their names by 500 points.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:105-LonesomeSelf.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin with rage|Lonesome Self]]
| CWC-012
| If you only have one monster on your side of the field, you can Special Summon 1 monster from your hand.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:226-SchuBall2.jpg|150px]]
| [[S-Chu Ball]]
| CWC-023
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. As long as the card is face-up on the field, the select monster remains in defense position. When the selected monster is destroyed, this card is also destroyed
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend]]'s Gift
| CWC-33
| If your opponent has more Lifepoints, or monster on his/her side of the field, select 1 monster from either player's graveyard. Special summon that monster onto your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:107-HookedOnSonichu2.jpg|150px]]
| Hooked on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]
| CWC-34
| This card is used to Ritual Summon any monster with Sonichu or Rosechu in its name. You must also offer monsters from the field or your hand whose total level stars equal the level stars of the ritual monster you are attempting to Ritual Summon.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:213-MetalBoots.jpg|150px]]
| Metal Boots
| CWC-27
| The monster equiped with this card increases its defense by 500 points. The monster remains in defense position, and it can't shift into attack position.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:247-VamprosasCape.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]'s Cape
| CWC-26
| Only Vamprosa can be equipped with this card. The monster equipped with this card increases its defense by 1000 points.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|150px]]
| [[Fangs|Wisdom Teeth]]
|CWC-31
| Increase your Life Points by 500 points for each Spell Card in your Graveyard and on your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|150px]]
| Plan for [[Attraction Location|Attraction]]
| CWC-40
| Pick up (not draw) cards from the top of your deck until a female monster is picked up. Special Summon that card onto your side of the field. Shuffle all other picked up cards back into your deck.
| August 20, 2004
|-
| [[File:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|150px]]
| Fireshock Pendant
| CWC-42
| Increase the monster's attack by 500 points. And when this monster attacks during the damage step, decrease the attack of the monster you are attacking by 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|150px]]
| Lightning Bracelets
| CWC-43
| This card can only be equipped to [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]. Increase the equipped monster's attack and defense by 700 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|150px]]
| [[Medallions|Sonichu Medallion]]
| CWC-41
| Increase the equipped monster's attack by 500 points. If the monster has [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] in its name, increase its attack by another 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:109-CWCSpellsCard.jpg|150px]]
| "C.W.C" Spells Quick Spells!
| CWC-51
| Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Add 2 Spell Cards from your Deck to your hand, shuffle your Deck afterwards.
When activating this card, announce that you will "Activate your QuickSpells with your C.W.C. Spells!"
| May 21, 2006
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Traps
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha!]]
|
| Choose one of your opponent's [[JERKS|male monsters]] and destroy it. If you select a set monster, flip it over. If it is a female, she is not destroyed.
| August 9, 2004
|-
| [[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|150px]]
| [[The Creepy Stare|CWC's Evil Glare]]
| CWC-007
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. Decrease that monster's attack and defense by 700 points. When the selected monster is destroyed or removed from the field, this card is also destroyed.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|150px]]
| [[Heart level|Shattered Heart]]
| CWC-010
| You can activate this card when your opponent attacks with one of this/her monsters. Take control of that monster, and attack another of his/her monsters, or Life Points, then the controlled monster is destroyed.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:127-LevelBattle.jpg|150px]]
| Level Battle
| CWC-32
| You can activate this trap when your opponent attacks with his or her monster against one of your monsters. Compare each monster's number of level stars. The lower level monster is destroyed. If both stars are equal, neither monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:147-LightKnife.jpg|150px]]
| Light [[Knife]]
| CWC-30
| Select 1 DARK monster on the field. That monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:155-MindSwap.jpg|150px]]
| Mind Swap
| CWC-36
| Select one of your opponent's monsters, then he/she selects one of your monsters. Until the end of the turn this card was activated, each selected monster is controlled by the respected player.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:149-RandomTrick.jpg|150px]]
| [[Random-access humor|Random Trick]]
| CWC-35
| Roll a die.
*If you roll a 1 or 2, reduce opponent's attack to 0.
*If you roll a 3 or 4, switch the position of one of your monsters.
*If you roll a 5 or 6, destroy one of your opponent's monsters.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:375-ChaosEmeralds.jpg|150px]]
| 7 Chaos Emeralds
| CWC-50
| If you have [[Sonichu]] or [[Black Sonichu]] on your side of the field or in your hand, you may remove Sonichu from play to Special Summon Ultra Sonichu from your hand or deck onto your side of the field, or remove Black Sonichu from play to Special Summon Silver Blachu from the hand or your deck onto your side of the field. When this card is destroyed, [[Ultra Sonichu]] and/or Silver Blachu are destroyed and removed from play.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:148-TrapOfFear.jpg|150px]]
| Trap of Fear
| CWC-46
| You can activate this card during your opponent's Standby Phase. Your opponent mush skip to his/her End Phase for the turn this card is activated.
| September 5, 2004
|}

==Let's Play==
In [[March 2016]], [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] challenged Chris to a game of Yu-Gi-Oh! over the PS4. Spatchcock wanted to introduce Chris to the idea of doing Let's Plays to boost his online activity and help him gain some money through YouTube's monetization program.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-16#post-1317924</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/updated-6-1-2016-chris-spent-100-on-transformers-five-days-after-begging-for-money.21201/page-6#post-1496271</ref> The plan fell apart after Let's Plays of ''[[CWC's Destiny start|Destiny]]'' and ''[[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|Uncharted]]'', since by that point, Chris was [[Chris and health|too lazy]] to play video games for money, and he simply wanted to [[Financhu Crisis|beg from his audience]] instead.

Chris did not comment during the video, because he was "not in the mood", even though his mic was on and his TV audible in the background. Spatchcock tried to converse with him, but Chris ignored him.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-17#post-1318077</ref>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Yugichris
| ytid = Buh5pXTEZf0
| stardate = 12 [[March 2016]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| other = {{Direct Feed|text}}
| previous = [[Happy Women's Day]]
| next = [[CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary]]
}}

Spatchcock was not impressed with Chris's game strategy.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chrischan-interview-part-4-5-3-28-16.16934/page-18#post-1319296</ref>

{{quotebox|Chris was using a pre-built deck by the looks of it; it uses some weird ass summoning system where you can pretty much just keep summoning and fusing monsters over and over. Chris was doing it just to do it. No strategy, no planning, just randomly doing shit because the game prompted him to do so. Out of the found rounds we played I trounced him the first two easily...I had to dial back and let him win once I heard the stress sighing. The third round was pretty much given to him but the fourth round he actually seemed to finally have it down on how to use his cards.

This is mentioned in the fourth call but I can share it here without Chris feeling 'betrayed' but I actually bought Chris the game because I set up a wager with him. We're going to play a 2 out of 3 match; if I win Chris is supposed to draw new sonichu pages and if he wins I get him a new PS4 game. He was bragging about how he still has his old cards including Dark Magician Girl. I assume before out big match he's going to build his own deck and I can't wait to see what he comes up with. }}

==Deck==
In the [[February 2024]] livestream [[Christ Chan Live Stream: Legos, Games and Media]], Chris showed off his old deck. Below are the cards listed in order of appearance:

Dark Paladin (1st Ed) [MFC]

Dark Paladin [DMG]

Dark Paladin (Reprint) [MFC]

Sanwitch [DR3]

Sanwitch [DR3]

Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon [DB2]

Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon [DB2]

Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon [MRD]

Dark Magician Girl [CT2]

Silent Magician LV8 [NTR]

Brain Control [DR3]

Magician's Circle [NTR]

Old Vindictive Magician [CP06]

Return from the Different Dimension [EP1]

Sorcerer of Dark Magic [MOV]

Magic Cylinder [IOC]

Gemini Elf [IOC]

Ring of Destruction [IOC]

Barrel Behind the Door [RP02]

Dark Magician of Chaos [IOC]

Skilled Dark Magician [DR1]

Return from the Different Dimension [EP1]

Magician's Valkyria [SJMP]

Goddess with the Third Eye [TP5]

Magician's Valkyria [SJMP]

Premature Burial [RP02]

Sangan [DB2]

Dedication through Light and Darkness [DPRP]

Level Up! [DR3]

Mage Power [RP02]

Silent Magician LV4 [NTR]

Fusion Gate [DB2]

United We Stand [DB1]

Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer [DB2]

Mystical Space Typhoon [RP01]

Goddess with the Third Eye [TP5]

Magical Dimension [CP02]

Thunder Dragon [DB2]

Brain Control [DPYG]

Magician's Circle [NTR]

Heavy Storm [RP01]

Magical Mallet [DP2]

Future Fusion [POTD]

Thunder Dragon [DB2]

Swords of Revealing Light [DPYG]

Old Vindictive Magician [MFC]

Dark Magician Japanese [P4]

Sage's Stone [ROD]

Call of the Haunted [RP02]

Sage's Stone [ROD]

Skilled Dark Magician [DR1]

Dark Magician [SD6]

Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer [DB2]

Fusion Gate [DB2]

Old Vindictive Magician [MFC]

Many of these cards are severely outdated and largely irrelevant, with some being outright banned, such as Premature Burial. Like with the other card games, Chris seems to have either grown out of card collecting, is too lazy to do so or doesn't want to spend money on them anymore.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|Megan as the Dark Magician. Oddly, she seems to be dressed as Arkana's red Dark Magician from Episode 60 of the show, even though she says that she's been summoned by Yami.
Image:120-CWCSpells.jpg|[[Sonichu 5|CWC-Spells!]]
Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|Jack's Knight, some character from ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Card_games#Yu-Gi-Oh.21_TCG|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' TCG]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Yu-Gi-Oh!|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)

2026-07-20T20:49:09Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

This page is an archive of [[Marvin]]'s key posts about [[Chris]] on the online forum [[CWCki Forums]]. Posts are sorted by date.

==Kacey's Dad Wasn't Liquid==
20 [[March 2013]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140726043704/http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-the-father-call.530/</ref>

In response to a user's comment, "A friend of mine told me that [[Kacey]]'s [[Father Call|father]] was actually [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] speaking in his normal voice. Is that true?"

{{quoteboxgreen|No.}}

==Vivian Was Clyde==
31 [[May 2013]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/clyde-cash.1094/#post-71718 ([https://archive.ph/tVdpA archive])</ref>

In response to a user's comment, "I don't know who else "[[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]" played, but I think he corresponded with Chris as [[Vivian Gee]] in her later, post-white knight e-mails.":

{{quoteboxgreen|All of vivian was Clyde.}}

==Jackie Was Alec==
21 May 2013<ref>https://sneed.today/threads/question-about-jacky.994/#post-65366</ref>

In response to a user's comment 'If Marvin is allowed to tell us, was [[Jackie]] played by a girl? Was "she" played by more than one person, perhaps by Marvin himself ever?

I know she was trying to meet him, so I wonder what would have happened if it actually went down.'

{{quoteboxgreen|Uhh, by played, I assume you mean emails. And as far as Jackie emails go, no, that wasn't a girl, usually. Usually one person wrote the emails, but other people might contribute ideas or write up snippets if they have a funny idea.

And I don't think there was any genuine intent on our side to actually set up a meetup. That was just a lure. We could pull off meetups if we really wanted to, but I don't know if there'd be much we could get out of that. I don't know how funny it would be. Well, maybe a little. Maybe if we really put together a really complicated plan, like to put Chris in amusing situations or something.

Double post because it was [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]] who was primarily Jackie.}}

==Leaking Chris's Facebook==
24 May 2013<ref name=fbleak>https://web.archive.org/web/20140725120729/cwckiforums.com/threads/facebook-leak-for-the-ages-june-6-2013-our-spy-is-back.1024/</ref>

[''posts thread titled "FACEBOOK LEAK FOR THE AGES"'']

{{quoteboxgreen|Ok, so, someone recently said something in here about "when someone gets into Chris' facebook friends list and leaks everything" or something. I can't find the post and I'm too excited to wait, so whatever.

About a week or so ago, we got a SECRET AGENT ]:(P into Chris' friends list. They managed to get screencaps of all the private posts from 2012 and 2013. They censored their face on the comment box, so we still might have a week or so of more content until Chris just flips out and defriends all the jerks or something. If Chris posts more stuff and has failed to defriend our secret agent, they'll continue to upload stuff to this imgur album, so you can use the same link. If they forgot to censor something, like "unlike post" or anything that might indicate who the secret agent is, please PM me so I can fix it.

Oh, and in any situation when Chris posted some pictures and commented on them, they took a screencap of the original post, but they also uploaded the full size versions of the pictures at the bottom of the album.

The screencaps are in chronological order, from the most recent posts at the top, to the oldest at the bottom. Also, unfortunately, sometimes Chris posted a story over the course of a few posts, so you might need to read up to understand what he's sperging about.

Anyway, enjoy: http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ}}

==Leaking Chris's Facebook, Chris's Reaction==
25 May 2013<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140729124825/cwckiforums.com/threads/facebook-leak-for-the-ages-june-6-2013-our-spy-is-back.1024/page-23</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Hey kids, Chris made a new facebook post. Our in on his friend's list is still there, so I'm guessing he wants us to see this post.

Anyway:

[[File:Chris's FB leak reaction 25May2013.png|200px]]}}

==Leaking Chris's Facebook, June Update==
5 June 2013<ref name=fbleak></ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|And... Chris re-added our collaborator. :stupid:

Not much that's new. A few whiny posts. Also Chris joined some psvita social network. Although that's public, because some of the posts about that were public and I accidentally screencapped them. But there are two of the social network posts that weren't, so whichever.

http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Same URL, enjoy.}}

==The Black Tape==
10 [[June 2013]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140726104035/http://cwckiforums.com/threads/undropped-jackie-email-september-7-2011.1185/page-5</ref>
{{Main|The Black Tape}}

During a thread in which Marvin released the 7 September email from [[Jackie E-mails 31]], and in response to a user's comment, "As for the rest of the Jackie mails... I hope they illustrate how Chris felt about [[Bob]]'s death a little bit more. Marvin has said numerous times that Bob's death really fucked up Chris, but it's been hard to see. Even this e-mail could be seen as Chris being angry at the Reaper for BEAKING HIS PROMISE, rather than him being devastated by his father's death.":

{{quoteboxgreen|He kinda got worse past this point. Hell, he might've been worse before it too and just calmed down a bit to bitch about the broken promise. I don't remember the details. He was sobbing at times though. I do remember that.}}

The topic was then split to a separate thread by forum administration in which users discussed the unreleased call.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140725191255/cwckiforums.com/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/</ref>

In response to a user's comment, "You heard him?":

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes.}}

The other user replied, "The implications! Can we get to know more?".

Another user commented, "I would guess some evil trolls hacked Jackie's skype and listened in. I also doubt any of that would ever be released as there's no humour and I think even OPL gets to have some privacy when he grieves."

Marvin replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|This. That stuff's not getting out.}}

==Clyde History==
29 [[August 2013]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/did-chris-think-surfshack-tito-was-real.1758/page-2#post-109338 ([https://archive.ph/kIVvj archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|I've known Clyde for a long time, both as Clyde and his former entity, Vivian. He wrote [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|the girl who brought down the world]], for example. He was first Vivian, probably because he thought it would improve his chances of getting Chris to listen to him. I think after a while of being Vivian, he wanted to get more involved as himself, so he created Clyde Cash. It enabled him to be able to talk to Chris as a character he better identified with.}}

==Snowfucking==
13 July 2014<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/what-if.662/post-281887 ([https://archive.ph/NVtZl archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Heh, well, what I mean is that, sure, we've told Chris to do lots of dumb stuff. For example, Chris [[Cwcsicle|sticking his dick in the snow]], because we told him to, doesn't mean he's into snowfucking.}}

==See also==
*[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)]]

{{References}}

[[Category:CWCki Forums posts|Marvin]]

List of Chris's Blu-ray discs

2026-07-12T05:18:27Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{taxpayermoney}}

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''Blu-ray movie collection''', based primarily on a newer version of the spreadsheet listing his [[List of Chris's games|video game collection]]; this version, leaked late in [[March 2010]], also includes an accounting of his Blu-ray movies. The list is replicated below, leaving out some of the extra details from the spreadsheet (Chris also made note of each movie's MPAA rating, studio of origin, the number of discs in each package, and whether a disc included BD-Live features), and also includes titles that weren't in the list at the time.

Most of the items on the list are fairly predictable, including titles like Disney and DreamWorks movies as well as comedies and video game movies. Richard Linklater's ''A Scanner Darkly'' pops up again here, though, which comes as a bit of a surprise. Postmodern science fiction wouldn't seem to be his thing, but apparently Chris liked it enough that he had to have both the Blu-ray version and the digital version he downloaded through the [[PlayStation Network]]. (This might be due to it being an animated movie, albeit one using CGI rotoscoping.) Some other oddities include some action movies that have fallen into obscurity, and a National Geographic documentary about lions hunting prey (which may be where the concept for [[The Incredible Lioness]] came from).

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Distributor
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''21''
|Sony/Columbia
|Unsuccessfully listed for sale on [[eBay]]
|-
|''88 Minutes''
|Sony/TriStar
|Unsuccessfully listed for sale on [[eBay]]
|-
|''A Scanner Darkly''
|Warner
|
|-
|''Bee Movie''
|DreamWorks Animation/Paramount
|A [[C-Mas]] present from his parents
|-
|''Bolt''
|Disney
|
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Cars]]''
|Buena Vista/Disney
|
|-
|''Corpse Bride''
|Warner
|
|-
|''Eagle Eye''
|DreamWorks/Paramount
|
|-
|''Experience Blu Volume 2.1''
|Blu-ray Disc Association
|
|-
|''Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close''
|Warner
|
|-
|''Happy Feet''
|Warner
|
|-
|''The Haunted World of El Superbeasto''
|Anchor Bay
|
|-
|''Into the Blue''
|Sony/Columbia/MGM
|
|-
|''Kung Fu Panda''
|DreamWorks Animation
|
|-
|''The Last Sentinel''
|Echo Bridge
|
|-
|''[[Jerkops|Men in Black]]''
|Sony/Columbia
|Unsuccessfully listed for sale on [[eBay]]
|-
|''[[14 Branchland Court|Monster House]]''
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''[[My Little Pony]]: [[Equestria Girls]]''
|Shout! Factory/[[Hasbro]]
|
|-
|''National Geographic: Relentless Enemies''
|Warner
|Sold on [[eBay]] in 2008
|-
|''Pixar Short Films Volume 1''
|Disney
|
|-
|''Prom Night'' (2008)
|Sony/Screen Gems
|Unsuccessfully listed for sale on [[eBay]]
|-
|''[[Saw]] 3D''
|Lionsgate
|
|-
|''Saw V'': 2-Disc [[Honest Content|Unrated]] Director's Cut
|Lionsgate
|
|-
|''Saw VI''
|Lionsgate
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy|Seth MacFarlane's]] Cavalcade of Cartoon [[Random-access humor|Comedy]]''
|Fox
|
|-
|''[[Homos|Sex and the City]]'': Extended Cut
|Warner
|
|-
|''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man 3]]''
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''[[CWC Fighter|Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li]]''
|Fox
|
|-
|''Street Fighter IV: The Ties That Bind''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Homos|Tinker Bell]]''
|Disney
|
|-
|''[[Transformers]]'' (2007)
|DreamWorks/Paramount
|Chris also owned the DVD version.
|-
|''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen''
|Paramount/DreamWorks
|
|-
|''Vantage Point''
|Sony/Columbia
|Unsuccessfully listed for sale on [[eBay]]
|-
|''Viva Las Vegas''
|Warner
|
|-
|''Walk Hard: The Dewey [[Duck|Cox]] Story''
|Sony/Columbia
|
|-
|''Wall-E''
|Disney
|
|-
|''Watchmen'': Director's Cut
|Warner
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
*[[Netflix]]

[[Category:Lists]]

Faeryn

2026-07-10T03:04:47Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Quote|I only go up to a certain limit, like I would very rarely date a woman who weighed more than 250 lbs.|Chris, lying.<ref>[[Mailbag 55]]</ref>}}
{{quote|She was pretty|Chris<ref name="a">[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref>}}
[[File:Chris1.jpg|thumb|Faeryn shows her true feelings]]
'''Faeryn''' is an obese young woman, nicknamed "'''Hambeast'''" by prominent trolls, and once called '''"Fae"''' by Chris. Not much is known about her, other than the fact that she worked at a bookstore.<ref name="a" />

In [[July 2009]], [[LoveYouLongTime]] and her friends began taking Chris out to [[Chris's Big Night Out|various]] [[Chris's Big Night Out II|places]]. Through unknown means, one of these trolls found Faeryn, who was genuinely interested in dating Chris. This prompted them to set up a date with Faeryn and Chris, in order to see how Chris would react to a willing, yet conventionally unattractive [[boyfriend-free girl]].

Unexpectedly, Chris reciprocated her feelings, calling her "pretty" and "a wild, fun one".<ref name="a" /> The two of them went for a date at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]],<ref name="a" /> making Faeryn Chris's first ever actual date. They became drunk together, and Chris touched her "a few times".<ref name="a" /> The date ended abruptly when Faeryn said "I was not at all that into you", which was said "out of nowhere",<ref name="a" /> according to Chris. While this did not initially affect Chris, once he sobered up, he felt saddened about how things turned out between them.<ref name="a" />

These images were then posted onto [[4chan]]'s /v/ board, as the '''"Two's Company Snapshots"'''. Due to Faeryn's name not being known at the time, trolls started calling her "Hambeast".

In 26 [[July 2009]], Chris sent an email to [[Katie Bay]], where he vents about [[Megan Schroeder]], and also mentions Faeryn.

{{quote|[Megan] was rarely all that into me either, fairly much like how Faeryn was Not into me either, but at least FAE Told Me Quicklu, instead of trying to be subtle over a LOOONG Time.|Chris<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>}}

In a [[CWC Blog|blog]] entry from 14 [[March 2010]], Chris asked for [[CWCki]] moderators to keep Faeryn anonymous, while [[Honor roll|also revealing her first name]].<ref>[[CWC Blog#14 March 2010]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris2.jpg
File:Z100 0787.jpeg
Image:100_0575.jpg
Image:1247626135478.jpg
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

{{EmilySaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{people}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hambeast}}
[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Images]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]

The Simpsons

2026-07-05T05:37:48Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Vocal impressions */

{{Honest}}
[[File:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''''The Simpsons''''' is an animated sitcom debuting in 1989, about an [[Bob Chandler|extremely]] [[Barbara Chandler|dysfunctional]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|family]], their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. Of course, Chris loves it; he's also a fan of similar animated series like ''[[Family Guy]]'' and as of later, ''F is For Family''. It goes without saying that the cutting [[parody|satire]] which has characterized the show goes over Chris's head.

==Appearances==
[[File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|They would later have their own [[Bob Walks In|family bonding]]...]]
[[File:Homer Simpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, drawn for the [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser.]]
[[File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|thumb|Formerly Chuck's.]]

Chris has ripped off or referenced ''The Simpsons'' many times in his life. Specifically:

*In the [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|gallery of failure]] Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article in March 2008, Chris tried to show some humility by having himself rip off Homer's catchphrase, seen at the top-right.
*Chris video taped himself [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] featured in ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special.
*Chris has a Homer Simpson figurine on the dashboard of [[Son-Chu|his car]].
*Chris laughs like {{w|Nelson Muntz}}, a character of the series renowned for his signature "Ha, ha!" laugh, in the [[Secret Weapon]] video.
*Chris seems to have also lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "{{w|Trash of the Titans}}." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one born out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."
*Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s similarities to {{w|Lisa Simpson}}, as both have spiky hair and are said to be child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg, and she has a personality.
*In the [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|Common Questions]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris was called out on blatantly stealing jokes from many other shows. Chris justified himself by saying, "''Like [[Family Guy]], Simpsons, [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "{{w|Simpsons Already Did It|Simpsons}} [[South Park|Did It]]."''"
*[[Rule 34]] of Marge Simpson can be seen on the 63rd floor in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*In [[Mumble 4]], Chris compared his life to Homer Simpson while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] (and does an impersonation of Homer).
*Chris downloaded ''{{w|The Simpsons Game}}'' on the [[List of Chris's games|PS3]].
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris "created" [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Constable Lou]], who may be connected to [[Wikipedia:List of recurring The Simpsons characters#Lou|Lou]].
*In the [[Chris dispels videogame rumors#cite_ref-0s|Chris dispels videogame rumors]] video, Chris attempted to reference, but ultimately ended up mangling, a joke from {{w|Sideshow Bob}} from the "{{w|Cape Feare}}" episode.
*In the [[Jackie]] saga, Chris decided to [[100 2277|cosplay Homer Simpson wearing Fred Flintstone's shirt]].
*Chris's affinity for [[muscle bra]]s could be attributed to a bit in the episode "{{w|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses}}" in which Homer finds one in a dumpster and comments "All I know is that, finally, I am getting the support I need."
*Chris bought the iPhone game ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out'' and spent an estimated $1,000 on DLC for it by September 2013.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>
*In 2019, Chris criticized Matt Groening for not allowing his characters to age: ''"They keep watering down the Chronicled Media for the sake of recognition, and THE MONEY. It is a real shame and a crime for them to mischronicle their OCs like that all of this time. I admit, I was no different as well, but I am reconciling, making amends, and taking firmer responsibility over my bunch of OCs and citizens as best as I can with my family, loves, allies and everyone there."''<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts]]</ref>
*In 2020, Chris (while being [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|"possessed" by Sonichu]]) mentioned in a [[Discord Q&A]] that Lisa Simpson was set to be the next [[president]] of the [[United States]] after the [[Dimensional Merge]] has been completed. This likely takes influence from the episode "{{w|Bart to the Future}}", which showcases a future in which President Lisa Simpson's administration succeeds [[Pmurt|Donald Trump's]]. However, the events of "Bart to the Future" are not predictive, despite numerous viral videos promoting such misconception: Donald Trump considered running for the job in 1999, one year before the episode aired, and the first of the six bankruptcies to affect his businesses (which the national debt joke referenced) occurred in 1991.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/simpsons-predict-trump</ref>
*In 2021, Chris drew a [[commission]] of Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's), a sign gag from the episode "{{w|E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)}}" which became a popular meme on [[4chan]]. The run-down depiction of the store is either an interpretation of how it would appear in the modern day or an alternate [[dimension]] version of the location.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> According to [[Null]], Chris privately told him in relation to this drawing that Sneed was dead and that Sneed and Chuck had been [[homo|gay]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous]] lovers.<ref>https://madattheinternet.com/2021/12/03/loicense-to-sneed/</ref>
*Chris also draw Homer Simpson for a commission request.<ref>[[:File:Homer Simpson.jpg]]</ref>
*In multiple [[jail letters]], Chris describes the Qur'an as being to the Bible what ''Family Guy'' is to ''the Simpsons'' (i.e. an inferior derivative work).

==Marge poster==
[[Image:MargePoster.jpg|thumb|right|Before you ask – yes, this is official art.]]

The centerfold poster of [http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playboy-photos-revealed/ Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine] became one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a [[homos#Defenses against becoming homo|homo]].

Interestingly enough, there were two potential choices for him to pin on his wall; the first was a more coy picture of Marge undressing (breasts visible but nipples concealed), the shadow of an eager Homer projected onto the rear wall, with Marge making eye contact with her husband.

The second was of Marge wearing a see-through dress, looking directly at the camera and offering donuts to the viewer. Chris, ever classy, picked the one with the [[Plush Breasts|boobs]] more seeable and rejected the one that even had the shadow of a [[JERKS|man]] on it (especially since Marge was looking at Homer, and not [[Chris|the camera]]).

The poster was presumably destroyed in the [[2014 house fire|2014 fire]].

==Lisa Simpson Presidency==
In [[November 2020]], Chris apparently voted for Lisa Simpson in that year's election despite voicing his support for [[Joe Biden]]; [[Chris and reality|he actually believed]] she would become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] takes place.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 5#Operation of CWCville's Government]]</ref> This belief presumably takes its influence from ''The Simpsons'' episode "Bart to the Future," which is set years in the future after Lisa succeeds [[Donald Trump]]'s (then-fictional) administration.

==Vocal impressions==
In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|BlueSpike's PSN Chat v3.5]], Chris attempts (very poorly) some impressions of various Simpsons characters (specifically Mr. Burns, Homer, Marge and Maggie). He would do the same in [[Mumble 7]], impersonating Homer and fellow Matt Groening character [[Futurama|Bender]]; in an eerie bit of foreshadowing, Chris's Homer and Bender voices [[BlueSpike|sound exactly the same]], but he doesn't notice.

During his trip to the Downtown Mall with TheGamerFromMars and [[Copitz]], as seen in "[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy#Episode 3: The Golden Age of Chris Chan|The Golden Age of Chris-Chan]]", Chris [[Random-access humor|spontaneously]] launched into an impression of the character Apu, specifically [[Chris and race|copying his stereotypical Indian accent]]... while ''inside an Indian restaurant.'' He was quickly shushed by his embarrassed hosts, though he still wedged in a "Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart!" afterwards.

{{clear}}
{{References}}

==External links==
*''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' at [[Wikipedia]]

{{TV}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

List of Chris's PSN game downloads

2026-07-04T01:54:37Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Dated|Chris's game downloads from 2013 onwards, if available}}
[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|right|American taxpayer money spent on Social Security Disability helps disabled people like Chris buy essential goods like…video games.]]
[[Chris]] doesn't understand the value of [[Chris and money|money]]. This is well-known, but nowhere is it better illustrated than in the log of his '''[[PlayStation Network]] game downloads'''.

Acquired by [[Clyde Cash]] and other trolls, the data show that Chris has spent in the vicinity of $3,700 (as of early March 2012) on videos, game content, and other purchases through the PSN. His [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|video downloads]] are catalogued elsewhere. This list attempts to catalog the games and game "upgrades" Chris has bought so far.

Many of his spending decisions boggle the mind. He has, for instance, spent around $35 on nothing but furniture and character clothing for ''[[Sonichu Home Club|PlayStation Home]]'', [[Sony]]'s ''Second Life'' knockoff. Nearly $30 has gone towards new characters and ball designs for ''High Velocity Bowling'', even though his trophy showcase indicates that he hasn't bothered to play the game. On the ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur IV]]'' front, he bought weapon packs, content he could have unlocked on his own had he bothered to play the game at all. The most ridiculous part of his ''SCIV'' purchases is that he bought the Yoda character; one can easily see why [[Hex Bawx|Hex-Box]] owners are eager to purchase Darth Vader, but purchasing Yoda for PS3 is pure unadulterated fraternization with [[Hex Bawx|The Enemy]]. Finally, the bill for his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' downloads, of course, hardly bears thinking about.

Chris's rate of spending varies from month to month. In January 2009, he deposited a modest $90 in his PSN wallet, but that came after two months of heavy binging — he spent around $235 in December 2009 and almost as much in November.

Averaged out, Chris's PSN habit is enough to make short work of his [[monthly tugboat]] and then some. Since his downloads are paid for with a credit card, of course, they are responsible for the lion's share of his deepening debt. Chris's understanding of money has always been horrible, but only when he is freed from the constraints of a fixed income do we see just how little he understands the value of money. This is a man who has been wearing the same [[Chris and fashion|hideous salvation army clothes]] for years, only retiring a costume when he gets too [[obesity|fat]] to wear it, yet he spends thousands of dollars on games he's likely never played. As Chris only receives around $800 a month, this is the rough equivalent of a normal person spending 3 1/2 months of their entire paycheck on just downloadables.

This list is based on an accounting of Chris's purchases through the American PlayStation Network, and as such may not be complete. It's likely that Chris has also spent even more money on downloads from the Japanese and other PSN stores, such as the game ''Mainichi Issho'', which he apparently played to completion, according to his trophy case. According to his communications with [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]], Chris also set up accounts for use with the Spanish, French, German, Japanese, and Hong Kong PSN stores.

==The Downloads==

<center>
{{Template:PSNTracker}}
</center>

===''[[Wikipedia:Bioshock|BioShock]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|PS3 Challenge Rooms
|$9.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Blast_Factor|Blast Factor]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Multiplayer Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Advanced Research
|$4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$7.98'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Brain_Challenge|Brain Challenge]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Expansion Pack
|$2.99
|}

===''[[Brutal Legend]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Hammer of Infinite Fate
|$4.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Burnout Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Big Surf Island
| $12.99
|-
|Boost Specials Collection
| $7.99
|-
|Cops and Robbers
|$9.99
|-
|Party
| $9.99
|-
|Legendary Cars Collection
| $7.99
|-
|Time Savers Pack
| $4.99
|-
|Toy Car Collection
| $12.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$66.93'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Buzz!:_Quiz_TV|BUZZ! Quiz TV]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Videogames Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Quiz of the Year 2008 Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Junior: Jungle Party
| $4.99
|-
|Comedy Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Rock Legends
| $7.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$30.95'''
|}

===''Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Variety Map Pack (Purchased by trolls when first hacked)
|$9.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Disgaea_3:_Absence_of_Justice|Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|All Star Theme
| $0.99
|-
|Character: Curtis
| $1.99
|-
|Character: Hanako
| $1.99
|-
|Character: Prinny Curtis
| $1.99
|-
|Character: Taro
| $1.99
|-
|Class World Command Attack Mode
| $3.99
|-
|Defender of Earth Character Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Demon & Detective Set
| $3.99
|-
|Disgaea 2 Character Pack
| $4.99
|-
|Disgaea 2 Sacrebleu Character Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Fake Heroes Set
| $3.99
|-
|Item World Command Attack Mode
| $3.99
|-
|Item World Survival Attack Mode
| $3.99
|-
|Makai Kingdom Main Character Pack
| $3.99
|-
|Raspberyl Chapters 1-4
| $11.99
|-
|Soul Nomad Set
| $3.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$66.33'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Echochrome|echochrome]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|PSP Level Pack Add-On
|$4.99
|}

===''[[Eye of Judgment]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Expansion Bundle - Sets 2 & 3
|$19.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:FlOw|flOw]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Expansion Pack
|$2.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Folklore (video game)|Folklore]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Add-on Bundle 1
|$5.99
|-
|Add-on Bundle 2
|$5.99
|-
|Add-on Bundle 3
|$5.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$17.97'''
|}

===''Go! Puzzle''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Swizzle Blocks
|$2.99
|}

===''Go! Sudoku''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Easy Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Mild Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Difficult Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Fiendish Pack
|$2.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$11.96'''
|}

===''[[Guitar Hero]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|30 Seconds to Mars Track Pack
|$5.49
|-
|Acoustic Track Pack
|$5.49
|-
|AFI Track Pack
|$5.49
|-
|"Ain't Got Nothin'" by Oasis
|$1.99
|-
|All Hallows Eve Track Pack
|$5.49
|-
|"Antisocial"
|$2.49
|-
|Aussie Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Ben Harper and Relentless7 Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Billy Squier Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Bob Seger Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Breaking Benjamin Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|"Camel's Night Out" by Eric Johnson
| $1.99
|-
|Bob Seger Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Celebrity New Year's Track Pack (Guitar Hero World Tour)
|$5.49
|-
|Classic Rock Track Pack (Guitar Hero III)
| $6.25
|-
|Classic Rock Track Pack (Guitar Hero World Tour)
| $5.49
|-
|Classic Rock 2 Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Coldplay Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Country Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Creedence Clearwater Revival Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Def Leppard Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Dragonforce Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|"Dueling Banjos" by Steve Ouimette
| $1.99
|-
|The Eagles Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Eagles of Death Metal Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Epitaph Punk-O-Rama Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|"Ernten Was Wir Säen"
|$2.49
|-
|European Track Pack 01
| $5.49
|-
|European Track Pack 02
| $5.49
|-
|European Track Pack 03
| $5.49
|-
|European Track Pack 04
| $5.49
|-
|European Track Pack 05
| $5.49
|-
|European Track Pack 06
| $5.49
|-
|"Falling Down" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|The Fall of Troy Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Foo Fighters Pack
| $6.25
|-
|"Get Off Your High Horse Lady" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|Guitar Hero World Tour Disc Import
| $3.49
|-
|Guitar Virtuoso Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Hard Rock Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|"Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar
| $1.99
|-
|Hendrix Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Hendrix Track Pack 02
| $5.49
|-
|"I'm Outta Time" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|Indie Rock Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Interscope Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Isle of Wight Festival Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|"The James Bond Theme"
| $1.99
|-
|The Killers Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|KISS Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Knuckle Sandwich Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Lenny Kravitz Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Metal Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Metallica ''Death Magnetic'' Album
| $17.99
|-
|Modern Metal Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Motorhead Track Pack (Guitar Hero III)
| $6.25
|-
|Motörhead Track Pack (Guitar Hero World Tour)
| $5.49
|-
|Muse Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|"The Nature of Reality" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|New Blues Masters Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Nirvana Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|No Doubt Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|"No Rain" by Blind Melon
| $1.99
|-
|Oasis Track Pack 01
| $5.49
|-
|OneRepublic Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Phish Live Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|The Pixies Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Pop Rock Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Queen Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Queens of the Stone Age Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|The Raconteurs Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|REM Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Rise Against Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|The Rolling Stones Live Track Pack
| $8.99
|-
|Silversun Pickups Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|The Smashing Pumpkins Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|"So Payaso" - Single Track
| $2.49
|-
|"Soldier On" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|Southern Rock Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Steely Dan Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Street Sweeper Social Club Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|"To Be Where There's Life" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|"The Turning" by Oasis
| $1.99
|-
|Travis Barker Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Vagrant Records Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Vampire Weekend Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Velvet Revolver Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Victory Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Warner/Reprise Track Pack
| $6.25
|-
|Wings Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Wolfmother Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Yeah Yeah Yeahs/The Faint/Editors Track Pack
| $5.49
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$483.46'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:High_Velocity_Bowling|High Velocity Bowling]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|4th of July Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|60's Surf Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|All Hallow's Eve Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Animal Patterns Eve Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Amber
|$0.99
|-
|Back 2 School Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Bruce
|$0.99
|-
|Candy
|$0.99
|-
|Carlos
|$0.99
|-
|Carmen
|$0.99
|-
|Chastity Falls
|$0.99
|-
|Darryl
|$0.99
|-
|Doug Graves
|$0.99
|-
|Dwayne
|$0.99
|-
|Foxy Powers
|$0.99
|-
|Gage
|$0.99
|-
|Gearhead Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Ginger
|$0.99
|-
|Graphic Patterns Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Halloween Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Heather
|$0.99
|-
|Jarvis
|$0.99
|-
|Mike
|$0.99
|-
|Milan
|$0.99
|-
|Planets Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Psychedelic '60s Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Route 66 Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Techno Modern Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Tiki Polynesian Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|Winter Holiday Ball Pack
|$0.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$28.71'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Steel & Titanium Pack (Purchased by trolls when first hacked)
|$5.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:The_Last_Guy|The Last Guy]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Add-on
|$1.99
|}

===''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|2000AD Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Animal Costumes
| $2.99
|-
|Animals PSN Avatar Bundle
| $1.25
|-
|Ape Escape Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Assassin's Creed II Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Artists Sticker Pack - Jon Burgerman
| $1.99
|-
|Artists Sticker Pack - Vera Bee
| $1.99
|-
|BUZZ! Costume with Stickers
| $1.99
|-
|Characters 1 PSN Avatar Bundle
| $1.25
|-
|Chimera SackBoy Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Egyptian Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Festive Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Festive PSN Avatars Bundle
| $0.99
|-
|Ghostbusters Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Heavenly Sword Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|History Costumes Pack
| $2.99
|-
|History Pack
| $3.99
|-
|ICO Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|inFAMOUS Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Killzone Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|LocoRoco Costumes
| $2.99
|-
|Metal Gear Solid - Costume Kit
| $5.99
|-
|Mm Music Pack
| $3.99
|-
|Monsters Kit
| $3.99
|-
|Monsters Costume Pack
| $2.99
|-
|MotorStorm Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Norse Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|PATAPON Costume Pack
| $1.99
|-
|Pirates of the Caribbean Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Pirates of the Caribbean Level Kit
| $5.99
|-
|Planets PSN Avatar Bundle
| $0.99
|-
|PSP Gardens Level Pack
| $2.99
|-
|PSP Lurve Level Pack
| $2.99
|-
|PSP The Sack That Time Forgot Level Pack
| $2.99
|-
|PSP Savannah Level Pack
| $2.99
|-
|PSP Weddings Theme Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Rag Doll Kung Fu Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|RARE "SuperStar" SHIRT
| $4.99
|-
|"Sackboy on the Run" Dynamic Theme
| $2.99
|-
|Street Fighter II Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|Toro Costume
| $1.99
|-
|Valentine's Day Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Watchmen Costume Pack
| $5.99
|-
|WipEout Mini-Pack
| $2.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$146.08'''
|}

===''Mesmerize''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Distort
|$1.99
|-
|Trace
|$1.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$3.98'''
|}

===Miscellaneous items===
{| class="wikitable"
|Angels and Demons Fan Pack
| $1.99
|-
|The Cryptics PSP Digital Video Comic
| $2.99
|-
|Donald Duck and Daisy Duck in "Donald and Duckolde" #1
| $0.99
|-
|EA Sports Fantasy Football Live Score Tracker
| $0.99
|-
|Elven X PSP Theme 5
| $0.99
|-
|Elven X Theme 3
| $1.49
|-
|Family Guy Theme
| $1.99
|-
|South Park Dynamic Theme
| $2.99
|-
|South Park PSP Theme
| $1.49
|-
|Tori-Emaki
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: All Hail Megatron #2
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: All Hail Megatron #3
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: All Hail Megatron #4
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: All Hail Megatron #5
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: All Hail Megatron #6
| $1.99
|-
|Transformers: Animated - The Arrival #1
| $0.99
|-
|Transformers: Classics #1
| $0.99
|-
|Transformers: Spotlight - Optimus Prime
| $1.99
|-
|University of Virginia Theme
| $1.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$33.66'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:MotorStorm|MotorStorm]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Castro Capitano
|$0.99
|-
|Devil’s Weekend
|$5.99
|-
|Double Track Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Falfer Domino
|$0.99
|-
|Revenge Weekend
|$5.99
|-
|Vehicles & Skins 1
|$1.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$18.94'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:MotorStorm: RC|MotorStorm: RC]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Carnival Expansion
|$3.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$3.99'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Pain_(video_game)|PAIN]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|3 Character Bundle
| $1.99
|-
|Amusement Park
| $5.99
|-
|Andy Dick Character
| $1.99
|-
|Ao No Kutsu Character
| $0.99
|-
|Brock Lee Character
|$0.99
|-
|Cookie Character
| $0.99
|-
|Ded Baron Character
| $0.99
|-
|El Chile Grande Character
| $0.99
|-
|Elvira Character
| $1.99
|-
|Flavor Flav Character
| $1.99
|-
|George Takei Character
| $1.99
|-
|Ginger Character
| $0.99
|-
|Hilde Günnagröpe Character
| $1.99
|-
|The Hoff Character
| $1.99
|-
|Hung Lo Character
| $0.99
|-
|Kenneth Character
| $0.99
|-
|Knockin' Bloks Mode
| $1.99
|-
|Mae Ryder Character
| $1.99
|-
|Movie Studio
| $5.99
|-
|Muffy Character
| $0.99
|-
|Museum Environment
| $5.99
|-
|Nigel Character
| $0.99
|-
|PAINball Mode
| $1.99
|-
|Red Jimmy Character
| $0.99
|-
|Santa Character
| $0.99
|-
|Scurv Dogg Character
| $0.99
|-
|Smack Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Sore Spots
| $5.99
|-
|Speed Oocher Mode
| $1.99
|-
|Tati Character
| $0.99
|-
|Yeony Character
|$0.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$63.69'''
|}

===''Pinball Heroes''===
{| class="wikitable"
|High Velocity Bowling
|$3.99
|-
|Hot Shots Golf
|$3.99
|-
|PAIN Downtown
|$3.99
|-
|UNCHARTED
|$3.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$15.96'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:PixelJunk|PixelJunk]]'' series===
{| class="wikitable"
|''PixelJunk Eden'' Encore
|$5.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden'' Soundtrack
|$2.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters'' Album
|$2.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters'' Encore
|$5.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$17.96'''
|}

===PlayStation games for PS3/PSP===
{| class="wikitable"
|''2Xtreme''
|$5.99
|-
|''Backstreet Billiards''
|$5.99
|-
|''Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain''
|$5.99
|-
|''Bloody Roar''
|$5.99
|-
|''Bomberman Party Edition''
|$5.99
|-
|''Bowling''
|$5.99
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles''
|$5.99
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night''
|$9.99
|-
|''Championship Bass''
|$5.99
|-
|''Command & Conquer''
|$5.99
|-
|''Command & Conquer Red Alert''
|$5.99
|-
|''Command & Conquer Red Alert Retaliation''
|$5.99
|-
|''CoolBoarders''
|$5.99
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3''
|$5.99
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot''
|$5.99
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot: Warped''
|$5.99
|-
|''Dead in the Water''
|$5.99
|-
|''Destruction Derby''
|$5.99
|-
|''Dino Crisis''
|$5.99
|-
|''Extreme Pinball''
|$5.99
|-
|''Final Fantasy Tactics''
|$9.99
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII''
|$9.99
|-
|''Final Fantasy VIII''
|$9.99
|-
|''Fighting Force''
|$5.99
|-
|''Ford Racing''
|$5.99
|-
|''Gex''
|$5.99
|-
|''Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko''
|$5.99
|-
|''Hi-Octane: The Track Fights Back''
|$5.99
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''International Track and Field''
|$5.99
|-
|''Jet Moto''
|$5.99
|-
|''Jet Moto 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Jet Moto 3''
|$5.99
|-
|''Jumping Flash!''
|$5.99
|-
|''Jumping Flash! 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''The King of Fighters '99''
|$5.99
|-
|''Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver''
|$5.99
|-
|''Medal of Honor''
|$5.99
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground''
|$5.99
|-
|''MediEvil''
|$5.99
|-
|''Metal Gear Solid''
|$9.99
|-
|''Mobile Light Force''
|$5.99
|-
|''Nuclear Strike''
|$5.99
|-
|''Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee''
|$9.99
|-
|''Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus''
|$9.99
|-
|''Pandemonium!''
|$5.99
|-
|''R-Type Delta''
|$5.99
|-
|''R-Types''
|$5.99
|-
|''Rally Cross''
|$5.99
|-
|''Rayman''
|$5.99
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape''
|$5.99
|-
|''Reel Fishing 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Resident Evil Director's Cut''
|$9.99
|-
|''Resident Evil 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Silent Hill''
|$5.99
|-
|''SimCity 2000''
|$5.99
|-
|''Sno-Cross Championship Racing''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage!''
|$5.99
|-
|''Spyro Year of the Dragon''
|$5.99
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha''
|$5.99
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Suikoden''
|$5.99
|-
|''Syphon Filter''
|$5.99
|-
|''Syphon Filter 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3''
|$5.99
|-
|''Tekken 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley''
|$5.99
|-
|''Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six''
|$5.99
|-
|''Tomb Raider''
|$9.99
|-
|''Tomb Raider 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Tomb Raider III''
|$5.99
|-
|''Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation''
|$5.99
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy''
|$5.99
|-
|''Warhawk''
|$5.99
|-
|''Wild Arms''
|$5.99
|-
|''Wild Arms 2''
|$5.99
|-
|''Wing Commander IV: The Price of Freedom''
|$5.99
|-
|''WipEout''
|$5.99
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer''
|$5.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$523.18'''
|}

===PlayStation 3 and PSP games===
{| class="wikitable"
|''.detuned''
|$2.99
|-
|''Age of Booty''
|$9.99
|-
|''Alien Havoc''
|$4.99
|-
|''Ape Quest'' Bundle
|$19.99
|-
|''Aquatopia''
|$1.99
|-
|''Astro Tripper''
|$4.99
|-
|''Beats''
|$4.99
|-
|''Beta Bloc''
|$4.99
|-
|''Bionic Commando: Rearmed''
|$9.99
|-
|''Blast Factor''
|$9.99
|-
|''Blast Off''
|$2.99
|-
|''Bomberman ULTRA''
|$4.99
|-
|''Braid''
|$7.49
|-
|''Brain Challenge'' PS3
|$9.99
|-
|''Brain Challenge'' PSP
|$9.99
|-
|''Brainpipe''
|$4.99
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn''
|$4.99
|-
|''Burnout Paradise''
|$19.99
|-
|''BUZZ Junior: Monster Rally''
|$4.99
|-
|''BUZZ Junior: RoboJam''
|$4.99
|-
|''Calling All Cars''
|$9.99
|-
|''Cash Guns Chaos''
|$4.99
|-
|''Championship Sprint''
|$4.99
|-
|''Creature Defense''
|$3.99
|-
|''Critter Crunch''
|$3.49
|-
|''Diner Dash''
|$9.99
|-
|''Droplitz''
|$4.99
|-
|''echochrome'' PS3
|$9.99
|-
|''echochrome'' PSP
|$9.99
|-
|''Echoes''
|$2.99
|-
|''Elefunk''
|$4.99
|-
|''Fate/Unlimited Codes''
|$14.99
|-
|''Fieldrunners''
|$6.99
|-
|''flOw'' PS3
|$7.99
|-
|''flOw'' PSP
| $4.99
|-
|''Flower''
|$4.99
|-
|''Fret Nice''
|$14.99
|-
|''Frogger Returns''
|$4.99
|-
|''Funky Punch''
|$4.99
|-
|''Gauntlet II''
|$4.99
|-
|''Go! Puzzle''
|$5.99
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski''
|$2.99
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving''
|$4.99
|-
|''Gravity Crash''
|$4.99
|-
|''GripShift'' v2.0
|$9.99
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes''
|$4.99
|-
|''Hero of Sparta''
|$6.99
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition''
|$4.99
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling''
|$4.99
|-
|''Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman! What Did I Do to Deserve This''
|$9.99
|-
|''JEOPARDY!''
|$14.99
|-
|''Joust''
|$4.99
|-
|''Kurulin Fusion''
|$4.99
|-
|''The Last Guy''
|$4.99
|-
|''Lemmings''
|$5.99
|-
|''Linger in Shadows''
|$2.99
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!''
|$6.99
|-
|''Manhunt 2''
|$19.99
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2''
|$7.49
|-
|''Mega Man 9''
|$9.99
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II''
|$4.99
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials''
|$9.99
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy''
|$4.99
|-
|''NOVASTRIKE''
|$4.99
|-
|''Nucleus''
|$9.99
|-
|''Numblast''
|$9.99
|-
|''Numblast PSP''
|$4.99
|-
|''Operation Creature Feature''
|$4.99
|-
|''PAIN''
|$4.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden''
|$4.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters''
|$7.99
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers''
|$6.99
|-
|''Piyotama''
|$2.99
|-
|''Q*bert v2.0''
|$4.99
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu''
|$9.99
|-
|''Rampage''
|$4.99
|-
|''Rampart''
|$4.99
|-
|''Snakeball''
|$9.99
|-
|''Sudoku''
|$4.99
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix''
|$9.99
|-
|''Super Rub a Dub''
|$6.99
|-
|''Super Stardust HD''
|$9.99
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix''
|$14.99
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars''
|$4.99
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops''
|$9.99
|-
|''Toy Home''
|$9.99
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection''
|$19.99
|-
|''TETRIS''
|$9.99
|-
|''THEXDER NEO PSP''
|$4.99
|-
|''Trash Panic''
|$4.99
|-
|''Trials of Topoq''
|$4.99
|-
|''Unbound Saga''
|$4.99
|-
|''UNO''
|$9.99
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune''
|$14.99
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3''
|$4.99
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D''
|$4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$708.54'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:PlayStation_Home|PlayStation Home]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Anna Williams
| $0.49
|-
|Blue Robot
| $0.49
|-
|BSAACostume Earphone
| $0.49
|-
|Character Doll Chun-Li
| $1.99
|-
|Club
| $4.99
|-
|Cowboy Hat
| $0.49
|-
|Drainpipe Jeans
| $0.49
|-
|Festive Tree
| $0.99
|-
|Harbour Studio Picture Frame
| $2.99
|-
|Jeans with Turnups M
| $0.49
|-
|Large Leaf Plant
| $0.49
|-
|Model Plane
| $0.49
|-
|Modern Cabinet
| $0.99
|-
|Nina Williams Statue
| $0.49
|-
|Red and White Striped Pants
| $0.15
|-
|Rubber [[Duck]]
| $0.49
|-
|Ryu Gloves
| $0.99
|-
|Santa Claus Boots
| $0.49
|-
|Santa Claus Glasses
| $0.49
|-
|Santa Claus Gloves
| $0.49
|-
|Santa Claus Hat - Male
| $0.49
|-
|Santa Claus Jacket - Male
| $0.49
|-
|Santa Claus Trousers
| $0.49
|-
|Small Teddy Bear
| $0.49
|-
|Seasyl Shirt M
| $1.99
|-
|Snow Man
| $0.99
|-
|Snow Man Mask
| $0.99
|-
|Summer House
| $4.99
|-
|Summer House Light
| $0.99
|-
|Summer House Ornament
| $0.99
|-
|Summer House Sofa
| $0.99
|-
|Summer House Table
| $0.99
|-
|Tail-ored U.S. suit
| $0.15
|-
|Thin Framed Glasses
| $0.49
|-
|Uncle Sam Hat
| $0.15
|-
|Vase with Flowers
| $0.49
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$35.62'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Qore_(PlayStation_Network)|Qore]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Episode 01: June 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 02: July 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 03: August 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 04: September 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 05: October 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 06: November 2008
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 08: January 2009
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 09: February 2009
| $2.99
|-
|Episode 10: March 2009
| $2.99
|-
|Annual Subscription - April 2009
| $24.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$51.89'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Rag Doll Kung Fu|Rag Doll Kung Fu]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Time Saver Pack
|$1.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Ratchet_%26_Clank_Future:_Tools_of_Destruction|Ratchet & Clank Future]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Quest for Booty
|$14.99
|}

===''Resistance: Fall of Man''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Map Pack Bundle
|$7.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Rock_Band_(video_game)|Rock Band]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|"A Clean Shot"
|$0.99
|-
|"A Day Like This"
| $0.99
|-
|"All the [[Duck|Small Things]]"
| $0.99
|-
|"Another Way to Die"
| $1.99
|-
|"The Best Day Ever"
| $0.99
|-
|"Blue Christmas"
| $0.99
|-
|Boston Pack 1
|$9.99
|-
|"[[Megatron pistol|Bullets & Guns]]"
| $0.99
|-
|"Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You"
| $0.99
|-
|"Crushcrushcrush"
| $0.99
|-
|"Dirty Little Secret"
| $0.99
|-
|"Down at the Whisky"
| $0.99
|-
|"Dr. Feelgood"
| $1.99
|-
|"Get Ready to Rokk"
| $0.99
|-
|"Gimme Three Steps"
| $0.99
|-
|"Hanukkah Blessings"
| $0.99
|-
|"[[Creepy stare|I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You]]"
| $0.99
|-
|"Last Train to Clarksville"
| $1.99
|-
|[[LEGO]] Rock Band Export Pack <ref>[[Ghostbusters (video)]]</ref>
| $9.99
|-
|"Moving to Seattle"
| $0.99
|-
|Rock Band Song Export Key
| $4.99
|-
|"Rock Rebellion"
|$0.99
|-
|''[[Homos|Screaming For Vengeance]]'' Album
| $14.99
|-
|"Shake"
|$0.99
|-
|"She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"
| $1.99
|-
|"She's Fetching"
| $0.99
|-
|"Shockwave"
| $0.99
|-
|"Sugar Magnolia"
| $0.99
|-
|"Time Is Running Out"
| $0.99
|-
|"Sprode"
|$0.99
|-
|"We Care a Lot"
| $0.99
|-
|"Where's Gary?"
| $0.99
|-
|"Who's Going Home with You Tonight?"
| $0.99
|-
|"Yomp"
| $0.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$73.37'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Rock_Revolution|Rock Revolution]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Bemani Pack
| $5.49
|-
|Pantera Pack
| $5.50
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$10.99'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Rocketmen:_Axis_of_Evil|Rocketmen]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Axis of Evil
| $4.99
|-
|[[sex toys|It Came From Uranus]]
| $4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$9.98'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Siren:_Blood_Curse|Siren: Blood Curse]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Episodes 1-12
|$29.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Snakeball|Snakeball]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Team Mode
|$1.99
|}

===''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] 2006''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Very Hard Sonic Missions
|$2.49
|-
|Very Hard Shadow Missions
|$2.49
|-
|Very Hard Silver Missions
|$2.49
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$7.47'''
|}

===''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Unleashed''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Apatos & Shamar Adventure Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Chun-nan Adventure Pack
|$2.99
|-
|Empire City & Adabat Adventure Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Holoska Adventure Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Mazuri Adventure Pack
| $2.99
|-
|Spagonia Adventure Pack
| $2.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$17.94'''
|}

===''[[Soul Calibur]] IV''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Customization Equipment 1
| $1.49
|-
|Customization Equipment 2
| $1.99
|-
|Weapon Set main weapons
| $3.99
|-
|Weapon Set bonus weapons
| $3.99
|-
|Additional Character Yoda
| $4.99
|-
|Customization Equipment 3
| $1.99
|-
|Downloadable Music full set
|$14.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$31.43'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Stranglehold_(video_game)|Stranglehold]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|CE Map Pack
| $14.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Street_Fighter_IV|Street Fighter IV]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Brawler Costume Pack
|$3.99
|-
|Femme Fatale Pack
|$3.99
|-
|Shoryuken Pack
|$3.99
|-
|Shadaloo Pack
|$3.99
|-
|Classic Pack
|$3.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$19.95'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Super_Stardust_HD|Super Stardust HD]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Portable Add-on Pack
|$4.99
|-
|Portable Solo Pack Add-on
|$4.99
|-
|Solo Add-on Pack
|$4.99
|-
|Team Add-on Pack
|$4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$19.96'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Tekken_5|Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Online Expansion
|$9.99
|}

===''[[Transformers]]: Revenge of the Fallen''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Maps and Characters DLC
|$9.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Toy_Home|Toy Home]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Expansion Pack
|$6.99
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted 2: Among Thieves|Uncharted 2: Among Thieves]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Eye of Indra 2
|$0.99
|-
|Eye of Indra 3
|$0.99
|-
|Eye of Indra 4
|$0.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$2.97'''
|}

===''[[Wikipedia:Warhawk_(2007_video_game)|Warhawk]]''===
{| class="wikitable"
|Booster Combo
|$11.99
|-
|Fallen Star Pack
|$7.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$19.98'''
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|'''Total Spent (Chris's Downloads) '''
|'''$2693.65'''
|-
|'''Total Spent (Chris & Troll Downloads)'''
|'''$2711.63'''
|}

==See also==
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Club Nintendo]] - with details on his Wii downloads.
*[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
*[[List of Chris's games]] - Chris's complete game collection.
*[[PS3]] - Chris's beloved money-flushing machine.

==References==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:PS3]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Sonichu (IRC chat)

2026-07-04T01:54:32Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Dated|whether or not the chatroom still works or is even active}}
{{protip|If you're in #sonichu and no one is there, don't be surprised as barely anyone uses it. But check if you're in the TRUE and HONEST #sonichu channel which is on irc.rizon.net, port 7000.}}

'''#sonichu''' was the IRC chatroom (irc.rizon.net:7000) where all TRUE and LOYAL [[Sonichu]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]] hung out.

In late 2008 and early 2009, [[CWC]] himself used to show up in the channel on occasion to answer questions from his "[[fans]]" and spar with trolls like [[Clyde Cash]]. Since the later days of the [[PandaHalo]] saga in [[January 2009]], however, Chris has retreated from interacting on IRC.

Rizon members can [irc://irc.rizon.net:7000/sonichu join #sonichu in an IRC client].

==List of known chats==

===[[IRC (16 October 2008)|16 October 2008]]===

===[[IRC (24 October 2008)|24 October 2008]]===

===[[IRC (26 October 2008)|26 October 2008]]===

===[[IRC (26 November 2008)|26 November 2008]]===

===[[IRC (13 December 2008)|13 December 2008]]===

==See Also==
*[[Discord]]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:IRC]]

War Paint Video

2026-07-02T01:27:01Z

FromtheWordsofBR:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]].]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[muscle bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

On 10 [[July 2015]], this video was shown on the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBC7EMkQzzI Drunken Peasants Podcast].

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| ytid = 7R66MxmxinU
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

{{quote|AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI!}}

=== Transcript ===
[''drops [[PS3]] controller; it thunks twice''] Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at-WE are at war! This is war! I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|t-take heed]] and mock and... [''Chris's [[PS3]] beeps''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] [[Gal-pals|my friends]] and [[Borb|my family]]. For [[Chris and reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage, I will-[[Death threats|I will hunt you down, you damn dirty trolls!]] This. Is. War. [''throws up [[Claw of Fail|two Claws of Fail]] as he loudly yells''] '''AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI'''-'''''[[Homos|YAAAAAOIIII!]]'''''

[''produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]] from behind his back, and brandishes it at the camera in his right hand''] [[Chris and English|Put down your wares, and... bring yourselves unto me]]. I will hun-or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! [''picks up the PS3 controller again in his left hand''] You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.

{{w|How (greeting)|How}}.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| ytid = hiiMeui27Qg
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]
*[[Cherokean Chant]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

PlayStation 3

2026-07-02T01:26:58Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Other oddities */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''', or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance<ref>[[Lars Call#The PS Triple Investment (34:25 - 48:15)]], [[Mumble_2#Chris Types Fast (And Hates Hex-Box)]]</ref> (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]), is a video game console released in 2006 as the third generation in Sony's PlayStation line of consoles. It introduced features such as the ability to play Blu-ray discs, further social and online features, and the PlayStation Network. However, the console had a rocky start due to a high price tag ($599 for a 60GB model, and $499 for a 20GB model, equivalent to $896.82 and $747.10 respectively considering inflation as of 2023), among other problems; still, during its 11-year lifespan, it sold 87.4 million units, which while nothing compared to the PlayStation 2's numbers (where it is still the highest-selling console of all time) is still quite respectable.

The PS3 is notable for being [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". He desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to the point where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and a slim PS2, and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade...only to purchase another shortly after.

The PS3 was supplanted by the [[PlayStation 4]] in 2013, and discontinued in [[2016]].

==PlayStation Network==
{{main|PlayStation Network}}

The PlayStation Network is the [[PS3]]'s main online service, allowing users to buy games, movies, TV shows, and other stuff, while also featuring elements like social media features, and music and movie streaming. Upon discovering the PSN on his PS3, Chris went into [[Chris and money|overdrive]], spending boatloads of money on things like DLC for games he didn't even own, and plenty of harem anime. From [[2007]] to [[2010]], Chris spent at least '''$6,127.64''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]], spending so much on the PSN that it contributed to most of his credit card debt at the time (roughly $3,500 circa early 2010).

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris [[Chris and brand loyalty|popped giant boners]] for PS3, so much that the [[Spanish|Hispanic]] [[Chris_and_race#Hispanics|community]] would call him a "Sonyer". He made trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to [[PandaHalo]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive; perhaps he didn't realize or know what formatting was. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
{{Main|The MovingFoward videos}}

On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

==The rebirth==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]

By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still had the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement was a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

==The PS Move of Fail==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]

It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PlayStation Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo]]'s [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one. After buying it, he painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two known video appearances, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

==PlayStation Plus==
On 29 [[June 2010]], Sony started PlayStation Plus, a [[HEXBox|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play "free" rentals of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' and ''Sonic the Hedgehog 2'', games that he has already bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris often had his PS3 turned on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. His console could be heard beeping occasionally in the background on some videos. He had a tendency to stay logged into the PSN even when he wasn't actually around or using his console, something Julie complained about in their Skype logs.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-ray cases instead of keeping them in their original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

He held his PS3 controller in many of his videos to turn his PSEye on and off, such as in [[I Got A Fish]].

When Chris's house [[2014 house fire|burned down]] in [[2014]], it appeared that his PS3 may have survived, as he was observed being online on the PlayStation Network, and managed to salvage his PSEye for a [[I Love You, Catherine|handful of]] [[To Mr. Smith|videos]]. Despite purchasing a PS4 later on, he would continue to play games on his PS3 every now and then. It is unknown what happened to said PS3 following Chris's [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for [[Affair With Mother|incest]], but he may have gotten it back after his release, as his PSN profile has been observed playing some PS3 titles as late as 2025.

==See also==
* [[PlayStation 4]] - The life upgrade... upgraded.
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External Links ==
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
{{PS3Saga}}
{{Template:Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

BlueSpike

2026-06-29T00:42:36Z

FromtheWordsofBR: /* Prank Calls */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Imposter}}
{{Troll|BlueSpike was the troll behind Julie and Max}}
{{quote|I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.|Chris on Julie.<ref name = Mumble10>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}
{{infobox Person
| title = BlueSpike
| image = Bluespikeohexploitable.png
| imagesize = 250px
| name = "David Harlow"<ref>[[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]</ref>
| aliases = BlueSpike LeonSpike Julie Milvana Max Milvana JULAAAY
| day = 12
| month = 10
| year = 1996
| birthsrc = <ref name="kiwi">[https://kiwifarms.net/members/bluespike.24172/ Bluespike's Kiwi Farms account]</ref>
|gender = [[MALE]]
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|occupation = {{TrollOccupation}}
|saga = {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|ps3|cn}}, {{saga|callingout|cn}}
}}

'''BlueSpike''' (AKA '''LeonSpike''', "a 13 year old brat" with [[Asperger syndrome]] according to Chris<ref>[[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]</ref>) was a young troll who contacted Chris through two feigned identities: a [[sweetheart]] named '''Julie''' and her evil brother '''Max'''. However, more of the trolling had involved BlueSpike going under the Julie persona.

Playing as Julie, BlueSpike had phone sex with Chris for hours each night, listening to Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]].<ref>[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref><ref>[[Bob walks in]]</ref> As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy, fabricated (on Blue's end) phone sex and listening to Chris jacking off very loudly. (Draw your own conclusion about his sexuality.)

BlueSpike's trolling caused Chris to admit to Julie that he had tried using [[sex toys|a dildo and anal beads]], convinced Chris to [[Ohio trip|take a long drive to Ohio]] in what he saw as an effort to rescue his girlfriend, produced the infamous [[For Julie's Eyes Only|sex tape]] where he fucks [[Kimmi]], made him describe a future scene from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] alluding to his [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]], and was the impetus for the legendary incident where [[Bob Walks In|his father walked in]] to him with his pants down. He was also responsible for other sick shit, including coercing Chris into shoving shards of his [[Medallions|Sonichu Medallion]] up his ass while he watched and mocked him. After that, and subsequently being kicked out of [[Trolls#The Miscreants|the Miscreants]], he was involved in relatively minor trolling incidents before fading into irrelevance.

BlueSpike's treatment of Chris is considered to be sadistic: his behavior departed from standard trolling and amounted to [[Julie Reveals Herself|emotional and even sexual abuse]]. His harsh treatment of Chris was unparalleled by any of Chris's past [[trolls]], and was not matched until the likes of the [[Idea Guys]] appeared nearly a decade later. Of the classic trolls, Chris has noted that he hates BlueSpike the most for the traumatic experience he caused during that Mumble call, along with tricking him into taking [[Ohio trip|a long road trip]] that scared his parents half to death.<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Discussing trolls and other stuff]]</ref> BlueSpike effectively provided the model that all controversial trolls following him would use – though, unlike most that followed, he was actually successful in his goals. Also unlike many subsequent controversial trolls, BlueSpike eventually expressed regret for his actions years later.


==Prologue==
{{Incomplete|Information on the creation of the Mumble Chats|BlueSpike's early interactions with Chris and Clyde}}

BlueSpike was one of a set of false gal-pals created specifically to troll Chris with.

==Personas==
===Julie===
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!!!!|Chris [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professes his undying love while screwing]] [[Kimmi|a doll]].}}

[[File:ChrisandJulieLBP.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris and Julie, together in [[LittleBigPlanet]]. The salad days.]]
[[Image:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|thumb|left|100px|What Chris believed Julie looked like.]]

'''Julie Milvana'''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref> (born 13 July 1989<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]]</ref>) was a [[Molvanîa]]n Methodist<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' fan who became Chris's sweetheart after [[PandaHalo]]."Julie" first appeared in IRC in December [[2008]], suggesting the infamous [[Tour of Chris's House]] video.<ref>[[IRC (15 December 2008)]]</ref> She later posed a ton of ''Sonichu'' questions submitted by fans<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> and was invited to [[Sonichu Girls]].

As early as 3 [[January 2009]], she asked Chris what he would do if a [[JERK]] kidnapped his [[heartsweet]]--he said, ''"I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back."'' Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.<ref>[[IRC (04 January 2009)]]</ref> Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs]]</ref> Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref>

When Chris chose [[Sarah May]] over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly [[Autism|went back to talking about vidya]].<ref name="a">[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref> Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009 video]] admitting that he was gay.<ref name="a" /> Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a [[Letter from Julie|letter]] written by Julie, the first physical [[:File:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|proof]] of her "existence." In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris. That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded [[LittleBigPlanet|a ''LBP'' level]], and Chris and Julie brought their relationship to the next level with cybersex. [[Bob Chandler]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]], and the rest is history. [[Borb|Chris's parents]] didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.<ref>[[Bob Walks In Aftermath]]</ref>

In an [[For Julie's Eyes Only|infamous video]] on 20 [[February 2009]], Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's tender and passionate cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" proved one of the most striking and memorable of [[CWC-isms]]; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi ''is'' Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

A set of postcards showing the act were sent to [[14 Branchland Court]]. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] got a hold of these postcards, which prompted him to take Chris's [[PSEye]] away.

===Max===
[[Image:Gilded.jpg|thumb|left|200px|What Max is presumed to look like.]]
'''Max Milvana''' was the abusive brother of Julie. The Max persona was typically used for instances where Julie was in peril, or when BlueSpike wanted to engage in tormenting Chris directly.

[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no [[pickle]]s on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a [[Sonic]] Drive-In.]]
Max and [[Clyde Cash]] convinced Chris that he had kidnapped Julie at the Miscreant Headquarters in Cleveland, Ohio,<ref name = Mumble10/> and was planning to send her over to [[China]].<ref>[[Clyde E-mails]]</ref> In response, Chris valiantly [[Ohio trip|travelled all the way to Ohio]] in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral.)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run-down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly black woman.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13]]</ref>

Under the Max persona, BlueSpike hacked into Chris's Yahoo! and PSN accounts, threatening Chris that he would either take Julie away or sell both of the accounts on [[eBay]]. He goaded Chris into doing various embarassing things in order to get the accounts back, ranging from [[Chris and anger|raging]], to stating that he is a [[homos|homo]], to declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new mayor of CWCville.

As with the Julie persona, Chris also engaged in sexual acts involving the Max persona. In one instance Chris claimed that he would show Max [[duck|his penis]] per his request.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel]]</ref> However, Max also claimed that he had no interest in seeing Chris's penis. In the very next video, Max tried to goad Chris into showing his penis to him after telling him that he doesn't have one, only to then frantically reject this when Chris actually attempts it.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref> He also suggested in the same video that Chris ejaculate on the medallion if he ever wanted to see Julie again.

On that fateful day, Max, power-mad with control over Chris, caused a schism between the trolls who had followed Chris up to this point.

==Julie Reveals Herself==
[[Image:Advicespikemedallion.png|thumb|left|Kids say the darndest things.]]
{{Main|Julie Reveals Herself}}

{{quote|BlueSpike, stop this shit.|A troll's reaction to BlueSpike prompting Chris to shove pieces of his medallion up his ass.}}

On 3 [[March 2009]], Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session threatened to sell the PSN account and forbid Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed [[medallions|Sonichu medallion]] up his anal cavity, before he was able to talk to Julie, at which point Julie admitted that both she and Max were the figments of BlueSpike's imagination. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly 2 million hits on SlutLoad). BlueSpike's female voice was an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more surprising that it worked so well on Chris. This incident shattered both his [[heart level]] – [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|and his anus]] – to 0%.

{{-}}

===Reaction===

[[Image:Cheers09.jpg|thumb|right|BlueSpike was kicked out of [[The Miscreants]] following the incident.]]

On 5 [[March 2009]], an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to deceive Chris into further milking for lulz. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

{{quote|If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. [...] "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible [...] If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?|Wit, ED user<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100919165747/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Talk:Chris-chan/Archive14</ref>}}

Even as [[Julie Reveals Herself]] was being recorded, other trolls can be heard remarking that it was "horrible" and demanding BlueSpike to stop. Early on in [[Mumble 11]], which was recorded a day later, other trolls outright tell BlueSpike to shut up and that nobody likes him before he gets muted.

===Impact on Chris===
While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling initially appeared to have virtually '''no''' evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had moved onto thinking he'd found [[Ivy O'Neil|another sweetheart]] online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having virtual sex with [[Vanessa Hudgens|a famous Disney Channel celebrity]]. The main effect it had was that although Chris made a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 [[July 2009]].

However, years later, Chris stated that BlueSpike's psychological and sexual abuse of him was in [[June 2021 social media posts#Discussing trolls and other stuff|the top two most traumatic experiences in his life]], with the other contender being the alleged incident at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] where he was pinned down by faculty during an autistic meltdown. Since Chris hasn't provided details of how he felt after the humiliating experience, figuring out how this affected him is left up to speculation. He also sounded reluctant to talk about the incident during [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]], a video where he attempted to dox lolcow David Harlow as being BlueSpike (due to trolls feeding him misinformation), and during the [[BraveryJerk Interviews]], he is shocked when BraveryJerk brings up the incident.

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]], from an offhand comment by Cash in [[Mumble 12]]. On [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his version of the ED page]], Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the '[[Transformers|Starscream]]' Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later [[Car Pranks|revealed to be a complete and utter falsehood ]]. Nonetheless, even eight years after the events of 23 August 2011, Chris [[Chris and reality|still believes]] that BlueSpike is dead.<ref>[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg Chris creates a trading card mentioning 'the late BlueSpike', 22 September 2019]</ref>

==Prank Calls==
Even after tormenting Chris for several hours, and getting kicked out from his clique of trolls as a result, BlueSpike continued contact with Chris, acting as the original [[weening|ween]].

[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009#Ranking China|The first known call]] involved trolls posing as a group of girls having a sleepover, with BlueSpike voicing one of them named "Azul". There is no known recording of this call; however, Chris did consider the girls as potential sweetheart candidates, specifically singling out Azul as being "HOT".

[[Car Pranks|The second known call]] involved him trying to buy [[Son-Chu|Chris's car]], after a troll put it up on [[Craigslist]]. BlueSpike tried to trade the car for a [[HEXBox]], causing Chris to hang up.

[[Prank_calls#Failed_Prank_Call|The third known call]] involved BlueSpike and another troll calling up Chris's phone to obnoxiously yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]]," taunting him about the Julie saga. Unfortunately for them, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] answered the phone, chewing them out for the immaturity of the prank. They hung up shortly after.

=="Called out"==
On 23 [[August 2011]], [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris claimed]] to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name '''David''') and threatened to drop [[dox]] on him unless he made an apology video by 15 [[September 2011]]. In the video, BlueSpike was to tell people to stop calling Chris "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and yelling "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" in [[prank calls]]. Although BlueSpike did not respond to Chris' demands, the [[Death of Bob Chandler|death of Bob]] two weeks later caused Chris to leave the Internet before he could reveal BlueSpike's personal information, and he ultimately lost interest in exposing his tormentor.
<center><gallery>
File:JULAYYYYYYYY.PNG|The supposed image of BlueSpike.
File:Davidharlow.jpg|An unrelated image of David Harlow.
</gallery></center>

Even if Chris did make a video about who BlueSpike really was, it would have been for naught. The personal information Chris had actually belonged to David Harlow, a lolcow also known as [https://web.archive.org/web/20211208172212/https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Nesshelper Nesshelper]. This is evidenced by Nesshelper and BlueSpike apparently sharing the same first name, the "real" photo of BlueSpike being a closeup of [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Davidharlow.jpg this picture of Nesshelper], and Chris' claim of BlueSpike liking big rooms, which references a [https://archive.org/details/43947139 video rant] where Nesshelper complained about the size of a hotel room he was staying in. Aside from not being a troll and having no reason nor motivation to go after Chris, the fact that Nesshelper sounds nothing like BlueSpike in his videos makes it clear they are not the same person (and provides further evidence of Chris's [[facial blindness]] extending to voices). Furthermore, Nesshelper was born on 9 July 1985<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20150510010346/http://nintendodojo.com/profile.aspx?id=12501</ref> and therefore would have been 23 years old during the Julie saga.

Chris was presumably given false information to highlight his [[autism|gullibility]] and possibly set up a feud between him and Nesshelper, similar to how [[Ahuviya Rotem Harel]] and [[Christopher Paul Whitney]] made negative remarks about Chris after he accused them of being [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] respectively. Of course, the aforementioned death of Bob prevented a conflict between the two from occurring; regardless, it's likely Nesshelper wasn't even aware of Chris's misguided attempt to dox him.

==Today==
{{see also|Kiwi Farms posts (Bluespike)}}
[[File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg|thumb|Chris' "Epic Online Bully" card, based on Julie/Max]]
BlueSpike is easily one of the most polarizing trolls in Christory. Most observers tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, as they echo those of [[weens]], [[enablers]], and [[A-Logs]]. Nevertheless, some weens and A-Logs still yearn to return to the sadistic days of BlueSpike, in hopes of an age of trolling where physical pain is inflicted upon Chris. Since 2009, BlueSpike has come of age and matured; he now has a profile on [[Kiwi Farms]] which has been given the "Christorical Figure" verification by forum moderators.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/members/bluespike.24172/ ([https://archive.fo/l7YpW archive])</ref> When asked to reflect upon his time trolling Chris, he wrote:<ref>[[Kiwi_Farms_posts_(Bluespike)#Looking_back_on_trolling_Chris]]</ref>

{{quotebox|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, all of the stuff from 10 years ago was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.}}

On August 28, 2017, BlueSpike responded to a question on his Kiwi Farms<ref>[[Kiwi_Farms_posts_(Bluespike)#Liquid Chris]]</ref> account asking if given the opportunity he would "do it all again". He responded:

{{quotebox|Probably not, if I would I'd try to do something more similar to [[Liquid Chris]] (not trying to ruin his life and just have fun with him)}}

As of September 2020, BlueSpike remains Chris's least favorite troll.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 8#Least_Favorite_Troll]]</ref>

In [[January 2024]], Chris was asked in an interview about his regrets, replying that he had fallen for "theoretical exes", his term for [[trolls]] posing as [[sweethearts]]. In particular, Chris singled out BlueSpike and his actions, further showing that BlueSpike has been cemented in Chris's mind even nearly fifteen years later.<ref>[[The Chris Chan Interview]]</ref>
===False accusations===
With BlueSpike's identity still remaining a secret, it's natural people would try to find out who was behind the persona; this has nevertheless resulted in some people being improperly tagged as BlueSpike.

A handful of people have speculated that BlueSpike may be Waymuu, a YouTube Pooper and concert archivist who, as a kid in 2009 and 2010, made A-Loggy rants towards Chris. These claims are bullshit and based entirely on rumors from [[Reddit]] and old comments on his videos and on imageboards. Waymuu was 11 in 2009, thus making it impossible for him to be BlueSpike, something confirmed by both [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTfgGB0YeOI a video] he'd later make debunking the rumors, and by a ''Thomas the Tank Engine'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw8iX5lY2kY gag dub] he made in 2011 that stated his then-age (13) in the title. While the two did have similar voices around the time, prepubescent boys tend to have similar-sounding voices in general, and Waymuu has different speech patterns and inflections in his. Furthermore, Waymuu had no other sort of involvement in the trolling of Chris outside of making said rants and lurking his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] page.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
*[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]
*[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
*[[Idea Guys]]
*[[Julie Reveals Herself]]
*[[Molvanîa]]
*[[Mumble]] - BlueSpike would set up a Mumble chat to communicate with Sonichu "fans".
*[[Ohio trip]]

{{References}}
{{JulieSaga}}
{{PS3Saga}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Millennial Generation]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]