CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads

2012-08-19T05:39:42Z

FrostedWarlock:

Among the many prizes Chris purchased with his [[My Coke Rewards]] points were numerous free song downloads from '''Rhapsody.com'''. Intrepid [[trolls]] duly hacked a record of his downloads, which is summarized below.

Most of Chris's choices are entirely predictable. The vast majority are songs from the ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' video games. Besides those, there are several [[Britney Spears]] singles, [[Wikipedia:No Doubt|No Doubt]]'s greatest hits, a couple of pop [[Christmas]] songs, soundtrack selections from ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]'', songs from the [[SingStar Challenge]], and a few classic showtunes.

==Songs==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Artist
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Why did Chris buy it?
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Accept|Accept]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Balls to the Wall|Balls to the Wall]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]]
|"Bright Light Fright"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Aerosmith
|"[[Wikipedia:Dream On (Aerosmith song)|Dream On]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Aerosmith
|"[[Wikipedia:Let the Music Do the Talking (song)|Let the Music Do the Talking]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Aerosmith
|"[[Wikipedia:Nobody's Fault|Nobody's Fault]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Aerosmith
|"[[Wikipedia:Rats in the Cellar|Rats in the Cellar]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:AFI (band)|AFI]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Carcinogen Crush|Carcinogen Crush]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Anthrax (band)|Anthrax]]
|"Caught in a Mosh"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Rick Astley|Rick Astley]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Never Gonna Give You Up|Never Gonna Give You Up]]"
|Chris likely heard this on an episode of Family Guy as sung by Brian Griffin. It does not seem to be associated with the [[Wikipedia:Rickrolling|Rickrolling]] phenomenon (begun in May [[2007]]). It appeared in [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Bang Camaro|Bang Camaro]]
|"Push Push (Lady Lightning)"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Beastie Boys|Beastie Boys]]
|"[[Wikipedia:No Sleep till Brooklyn|No Sleep till Brooklyn]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Pat Benatar|Pat Benatar]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Hit Me with Your Best Shot|Hit Me with Your Best Shot]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Bon Jovi|Bon Jovi]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Livin' on a Prayer|Livin' on a Prayer]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Boston (band)|Boston]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Peace of Mind (Boston song)|Peace of Mind]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Alicia Bridges|Alicia Bridges]]
|"[[Wikipedia:I Love the Nightlife|I Love the Nightlife]]"
|Unknown. Sang on [[Chris's Big Night Out]]
|-
|rowspan="4"|[[Britney Spears]]
|"[[Wikipedia:I Love Rock 'n' Roll|I Love Rock 'n' Roll]]"
|Chris loves Britney
|-
|"[[Wikipedia:I'm a Slave 4 U|I'm a Slave 4 U]]"
|Chris loves Britney
|-
|"[[Wikipedia:My Only Wish (This Year)|My Only Wish (This Year)]]"
|Chris loves Britney
|-
|"What It's Like To Be Me"
|Chris loves Britney
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Kate Bush|Kate Bush]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights]]"
|Unknown. [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] turned this into "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]".
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]] and Barrage
|"[[Cwc dare|Dare]]"
|Song was in ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dead Kennedys|Dead Kennedys]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Holiday in Cambodia|Holiday in Cambodia]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Dead Kennedys
|"[[Wikipedia:Police Truck|Police Truck]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:The Donnas|The Donnas]]
|"Take It Off"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:DragonForce|DragonForce]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Through the Fire and Flames|Through the Fire and Flames]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Eagles (band)|Eagles]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Hotel California (song)|Hotel California]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Eagles
|"[[Wikipedia:Life in the Fast Lane|Life in the Fast Lane]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Eagles
|"[[Wikipedia:One of These Nights (song)|One of These Nights]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Fleetwood Mac|Fleetwood Mac]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Go Your Own Way|Go Your Own Way]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:A Flock of Seagulls|A Flock of Seagulls]]
|"[[Wikipedia:I Ran (So Far Away)|I Ran (So Far Away)]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Freezepop|Freezepop]]
|"Get Ready 2 Rokk"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Freezepop
|"Less Talk More Rokk"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Frou-Frou|Frou-Frou]]
|"[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out for a Hero]]"
|A song Chris sang for [[Ivy]].
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Gorillaz|Gorillaz]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Dare (song)|Dare]]"
|Band featured in ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. Chris may also have confused it with "Dare" from the ''[[Transformers]]'' movie.
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Sammy Hagar|Sammy Hagar]]
|"Heavy Metal"
|Features in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Indigo Girls|Indigo Girls]]
|"Closer To Fine"
|Unknown.
|-
|[[Wikipedia:List of songs in Guitar Hero II#Brian Kahanek|Brian Kahanek]]
|"Gemini"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Beat It|Beat It]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Judas Priest|Judas Priest]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Electric Eye (song)|Electric Eye]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Kaiser Chiefs|Kaiser Chiefs]]
|"[[Wikipedia:I Predict a Riot|I Predict a Riot]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Kasabian|Kasabian]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Shoot the Runner|Shoot the Runner]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Kiss (band)|KISS]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Rock and Roll All Nite|Rock and Roll All Nite]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Lion (band)|Lion]]
|"The Transformers"
|Theme tune from ''The [[Transformers]]: The Movie''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Johnny Mercer|Johnny Mercer]]
|"Bless Yore Beautiful Hide"
|Probably a song [[Bob]] would like
|-
|Johnny Mercer
|"Goin' Courtin'"
|Probably a song Bob would like
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Willie Nelson|Willie Nelson]]
|"[[Wikipedia:On the Road Again (Willie Nelson song)|On the Road Again]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Nirvana (band)|Nirvana]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Heart-Shaped Box|Heart-Shaped Box]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:No Doubt|No Doubt]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Bathwater|Bathwater]]"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Don't Speak|Don't Speak]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Ex-Girlfriend (song)|Ex-Girlfriend]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Excuse Me Mr.|Excuse Me Mr.]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"Hella Good"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Hey Baby (No Doubt song)|Hey Baby]]"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:It's My Life (Talk Talk song)|It's My Life]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Just a Girl|Just a Girl]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:New (song)|New]]"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Running (No Doubt song)|Running]]"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Simple Kind Of Life|Simple Kind Of Life]]"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"[[Wikipedia:Spiderwebs|Spiderwebs]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"Sunday Morning"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|No Doubt
|"Underneath It All"
|Many other No Doubt songs were in ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Ozzy Osbourne|Ozzy Osbourne]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Bark at the Moon|Bark at the Moon]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Ray Parker, Jr.|Ray Parker, Jr.]]
|"[[Ghostbusters]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Poison (band)|Poison]]
|"Talk Dirty to Me"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:The Police|The Police]]
|"Synchronicity II"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Riskay
|"[[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Dick]]"
|[[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] asked that [[IBAChandler]] sing this song for the final round of the [[SingStar Challenge]]
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Sex Pistols|Sex Pistols]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Anarchy in the U.K.|Anarchy in the U.K.]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Sex Pistols
|"[[Wikipedia:Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols|Problems]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Allan Sherman|Allan Sherman]]
|"The Twelve Gifts of [[Christmas]]"
|Probably a song Bob would like
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Skid Row (American band)|Skid Row]]
|"[[Wikipedia:18 and Life|18 and Life]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Slipknot (band)|Slipknot]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Before I Forget (song)|Before I Forget]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Spinal Tap|Spinal Tap]]
|"[[Wikipedia:This Is Spinal Tap (album)|Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:The Sword|The Sword]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Freya (song)|Freya]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:The Trashmen|The Trashmen]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Surfin' Bird|Surfin' Bird]]"
|Featured in the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:I Dream of Jesus|I Dream of Jesus]]"
|-
|[[Wikipedia:John Travolta|John Travolta]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Summer Nights|Summer Nights]]"
|Unknown.
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Stevie Ray Vaughan|Stevie Ray Vaughan]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Pride and Joy (Stevie Ray Vaughan song)|Pride and Joy]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|Stevie Ray Vaughan
|"[[Wikipedia:Texas Flood (song)|Texas Flood]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Warrant (American band)|Warrant]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Cherry Pie (Warrant song)|Cherry Pie]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Barry White|Barry White]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe|Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe]]"
|From ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Whacking Day|Whacking Day]]"
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Winger (band)|Winger]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Seventeen (Winger song)|Seventeen]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Wolfmother|Wolfmother]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Woman (Wolfmother song)|Woman]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Dare to Be Stupid|Dare To Be Stupid]]"
|Song was in ''[[Transformers|The Transformers: The Movie]]''
|-
|[[Wikipedia:ZZ Top|ZZ Top]]
|"[[Wikipedia:Sharp Dressed Man|Sharp Dressed Man]]"
|From ''Guitar Hero''
|}

==Download==
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn MediaFire]</s> (Dead link)

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and music]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[SingStar Challenge]]
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Lists]]

Chris and contests

2012-08-19T04:49:41Z

FrostedWarlock: Minor grammar fix.

Since winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], Chris has entered a number of '''contests'''.

==Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes==
:''Main article: [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]''
The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 [[wikipedia:KB_Toys|Kay-Bee Toys]] shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]].

This is one of the defining moments of young Chris's life, being the first of many contests Chris has entered over the years.

==Harvey Birdman Commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]''
{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l_b7S4i99JI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}; Contest
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl]]
| next = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
}}

In February 2005, Cartoon Network held a contest inviting viewers to make a commercial for the Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law Vol. 1 DVD set. Chris did not win the contest, or even place in the top five. This inspired him to post a complaint on the [[Adult Swim]] forums.

=="What would you do for a PS3?" contest==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pixelated PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_PYyrmtbLTw}}
| stardate = 28 [[November 2006]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
| next = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's <br> FUTURE MESSAGE]]}}

In November 2006, Chris entered [[Adult Swim]]'s "What would you do for a PS3?" contest. In his entry video, Chris says he'd throw away the cure for [[autism]], if he had it, would trade in his PS2, and would make a PS3 out of [[Pixelblocks]], and shows off his [[Pixelated PS3]]. Needless to say, Chris did not win the PS3.

==PaRappa the Rapper contest==
:''Main article: [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered the PaRappa the Rapper Contest, which required contestants to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo. Chris hoped that he would win, so that he could bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to give in to her obvious passion for him.

Chris's video made it into the top 10, from which the winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in July 2007. Despite a campaign on the part of Chris, the competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke the rules<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)."

==Radio station contests==
Chris created [[Li'l Chris]] at the "Create-A-Critter Workshop" after winning a gift certificate from a radio station sometime in his early 20s.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

In May 2010, Chris won four tickets to an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show from a radio call-in contest. As he could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple". This event prompted the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.

==GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]
Chris entered the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] in October 2008. The competition required entrants to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose", for the chance to win a $400 GameStop gift certificate.

Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and, mistakenly believing that the person with the most votes would star in the ''Guitar Hero'' game, encouraged people to vote for Chris. Due to this Chris went on to win the competition.

==Jackass 3D Contest==
:''Main article: [[Cwcsicle]]''
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Frozen Stalagtite RECUT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mskavdOJJTs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2011]]
| Maker = shadupp
| Video Type = Parody
}}
In February 2010, Chris entered a contest for the movie Jackass 3D, in which the person who submitted the best prank would get to appear in ''Jackass 3D''. Needless to say, Chris did not win, as he violated the rules by sticking his [[duck|penis]] in the snow for fifteen minutes, when ''Jackass''-style pranks were forbidden, and contests were supposed to send in plans or sketches.<ref>http://jackass-3d-contest.wonderhowto.com/blog/jackass-3d-prank-contest-0118504/</ref>

==Dog Days of Summer Photo Contest==
[[Image:Mikmmp.jpg|thumb|[[Patti]] has been betrayed]]
On August 1, 2012, trolls discovered the existence of [[Clover and Snoopy]]. Chris decided to take pictures of them and post his photos on the internet in an attempt to gain votes for a contest. In the description he writes, "Snoopy has a [[Random-access humor|hat on his tush]], and Clover is looking at the camera." So far, the beagles have been given possitive comments and one person even asked for the dog breeder so [[Comeuppance|they could have one]].<ref>http://charlottesvilleradiogroup.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=64810&s=22437342&i=1&sort=DESCENDING#SD</ref> However, Chris did not win the contest. It is unknown if this fact was met with any [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]].

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Kick the Autistic

2012-08-15T22:10:14Z

FrostedWarlock: It just felt like that bit lacked all the tact that makes the CWCki so hilarious to read.

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, all years.]]

'''Kick the [[Autism|Autistic]]''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|And on [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and Sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban]] him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]]. Eventually, Chris and his mom may [[28 October 2011|visit your establishment again]], cause over $1000 in damage, and try to run off, getting charged with felonies in the process.

===Literally===

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of. No broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. There is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]],) he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death Threats|any]][[Chris and Race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. However, with his latest skirmish on the [[28 October 2011]], it remains to be seen if things will remain this way if he is sentenced to jail, where prisoners don't take too kindly to self-entitled manchildren who throw [[Chris and Anger|temper tantrums.]]

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on 21 January 2008, Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"''
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and the law

2012-08-15T01:24:29Z

FrostedWarlock: Minor grammar fix.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by [[Jerkops|law enforcement]] and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of [[2008]], and nothing has sunken into that [[Hello, Juffalo|clown head]] of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=6odVsyr3I40]</ref>}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]

Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best, and dangerously naïve at worst . He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll [[Ivy Q&A|threatening violence]] against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the Internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page,<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> and has attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads. Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] should be enforced ''in real life.''<ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!]]</ref>

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "NOOOOOOO!" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.<ref>[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]]</ref>

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the speed limit...while on his way to confront [[Liquid Chris]] and commit assault with a [[Megatron Pistol|deadly weapon]] upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In a [[May 2010]] video, Chris states that he believes a man who brutally beat his girlfriend to death with his bare hands deserved twenty years in prison for his crimes, which is just twice the penalty he wants for [[Tobacky|smoking]].<ref>[[05142010]]</ref>

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and [[lie]] to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e. anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The correspondence with Jackie revealed that in the trial on the [[Target]] incident, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place]]</ref> In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting," whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

==Legal troubles==

===2004===
On 11 September [[2004]], Chris was detained at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

===2005===
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct">[[:File:20050720-GC05009339-00.png|Disorderly conduct charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> and trespassing<ref name="2005 Trespassing">[[:File:20050720-GC05009340-00.png|Trespassing charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> at Target, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]]. After two hearings,<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct" /><ref name="2005 Trespassing" /> prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005.<ref name="2005 Following Too Close">[[:File:20050728-GT05011195-00.png|Following too close, 28 July 2005]]</ref> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

===2010===
Chris's various run-ins at [[The GAMe PLACe]] have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he trespassed on the property, though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for [[Mass Debating|disturbing reasons]], Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike [[Death threats|for use as a dartboard]]. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his [[6 June 2010]] video in response to these events.

===2011===
In a [[May 2011]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] post, Chris said that he has begun to use the ladies' restroom at his local mall while dressed in drag; he recounts an incident in which ''"a woman complains and tattles on me, and a [[JERK|stereotypical Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me."'' This supposed brute male may or may not have been with [[Jerkop|mall security]].

In his [[Calling Out|three new videos]] posted after 8-month-long hiatus from YouTube he tries to do something which some viewers of ''The Chandler Show'' believe to be blackmail. Chris admitted it by typing word ''blackmail'' in tags for last of them; however trolls hoping for a lawsuit [[saga]] shouldn't get their hopes up, because it's unlikely any of the [[trolls]] threatened by it would want to report him, given that they've all been trying to get him back onto the internet for months and wouldn't want to drive him off again. Not to mention Chris probably doesn't have anything on them at all. Note that under Virginia law, his demands are more likely to be considered extortion (still a class five felony) rather than blackmail.

In the same video, Chris also point blank accused [[Michael Snyder]] of molesting his own daughter, all while admitting that he doesn't have any concrete proof of his allegation. Given how prone he is to accusing others of slandering him (aka pointing out his bad qualities that are extremely evident to everyone but Chris), Chris's accusations are very hypocritical. If Michael Snyder did want to sue Chris in civil court, he would indeed have a case against him as Chris's allegations are textbook defamation. However, it's questionable what Snyder would win in litigation, aside from a [[PS3]], numerous children's [[toys]] and the five or so dollars in Chris's bank account.

On [[28 October 2011]], Chris ended up in the worst possible scenario, netting a felony charge and two misdemeanors in what appears to be a ''third'' attempt to enter the GAMe PLACe. It appears that the Virginia justice system had finally run out of patience.

As a direct result of his October 28 run in with Michael Snyder, Chris had found both himself and his [[barb|mother]] on the receiving end of a civil suit. Having been sentenced to community service and put under a probation, and being charged with paying Snyder's medical bills, this may very well have been the first time that he has felt ramifications for his accusations and threats. However, it is much more likely that he simply [[Chris and his ego|doesn't care]], or still feels as if he were the [[Kick the autistic|real victim]] in all of this.

===2012===

[[File:Card.PNG|thumb]]

On 4 [[February 2012]], it was revealed on his [[Facebook]] that Chris no longer has respect for ''any'' sort of law enforcement after the events of [[28 October 2011]], officially deeming everyone who upholds the law a [[Jerkop]]. At the same time, he revealed another encounter with the boys in blue that day. As he attempted to pass out fliers while at the mall, encouraging others to stay away from the Game Place, two Jerkops (or as Chris puts it, "a Jerkop and an accomplice") approach him. Despite the officers simply wanting to talk to him and letting him know he wasn't in any trouble, Chris's paranoia kicked in and he ran. While the story Chris gives seem to hint that the officers just wanted to tell him to knock off the distribution of fliers, Chris believed otherwise, citing that one of them called out his name and making him think they wanted to post another encounter with him on the Internet. He escaped by diving into a Mitsubishi, most likely replacing the dying piece of scrap that is [[Son-Chu]], and driving off.

On the 12th April, Chris [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|announced the loss of his virginity]], giving off strong hints that he had slept with a hired prostitute. He all but [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|confirmed this]] on the 1st May, when he said that he 'found her on the backpage', a website that solicits prostitutes. In the state of Virginia, this constitutes a Class 1 Misdeameanor and is therefore illegal. It is unknown whether or not Chris is aware of this, but it's very likely that if he is, [[Fuck Quest|he simply doesn't care.]]

On 28 [[April 2012]], Chris revealed another incident in the mall. Prior to his Facebook note on 30 [[March 2012]], Chris got into a shouting match with a troll on his cell phone at the mall. The shouting did not go unnoticed, and Chris ran for it once security was called in. On 25 April, Chris received a ban from the mall,<ref>[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref> though it is unknown if it was for that incident or an incident that happened between those two dates.

On 10 [[July 2012]], Chris was arraigned in court for the [[28 October 2011]] incident. After calling Snyder a "thieving liar" in the courtroom, Chris was sentenced to community service and is under a one-year probation. If he does not comply, he will go to jail. As well, he was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills.

==Chris's parents and law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the [[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Cub Scouts]] after an [[autism|unknown incident]], his parents attempted to sue the [[Wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts of America]] for [[Kick the autistic|discrimination]].<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref>
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.<ref>[http://208.210.219.132/stars/mainmenu.jsp;jsessionid=0000XHMY2MEVFIV0HN4N1CX0EQA:ulnfn1uq], case 0438-94-2</ref>
* When [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
* When [[Snorlax]] thought she had indigestion (actually [[Wikipedia:colitis|colitis]]), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>
* When [[Asperchu|Alec]] called the Chandler household posing as [[GAMe PLACe]] employee Matthew Noble, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "Not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.<ref name="Matthew Noble call">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>
* During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.<ref name="Matthew Noble call"/>
* On [[28 October 2011]], Barb was arrested for not only fleeing the scene of an accident, but also felony assault on a police officer, a crime that a remotely sensible person would never commit due to the serious consequences attached to it (mandatory minimum of six months' imprisonment on conviction); however, the recent death of her husband, her age, ill-health and dependent son probably helped earn her clemency.
*On 10 [[July 2012]], Barb was arraigned in court for her participation in the 28 October 2011 incident. She was sentenced to community service and is under a two year probation.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in the first and only of his supposed series of Q&A videos.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]]</ref>

On 31 [[December 2009]], Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already [[CWC-ism|Snail-Mailed]] President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't like illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make law. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], she interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received a well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, out of the blue decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a [[:File:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorstep.<ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]]</ref> Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure [[autistic]] logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, he's not liable.<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for [[Jerks|men]] to ever show their [[Reldnahc|bare chest]] (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, disregarding [[women]], [[Homos|gay men]] and boxing enthusiasts), and two he wants to [[Women's rights|force all women]] in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris began to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]], [[Don'tGetTrolled!]]. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the [[Wikipedia:Bill of Rights|Bill of Rights]], specifically [[Wikipedia:Freedom of Speech|Freedom of Speech]].

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the comic==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In [[CWCville]], Chris has banned a number of things in his city. [[Smoking]] or drinking [[alcohol]] would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as [[CWCville]] uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars).<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008">[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> Indeed, importing tobacco or alcohol is the most serious crime in the city, apparently receiving a greater punishment than murder or rape.<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008"/> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in [[June 2009]].

The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "[[Dating Education]]" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatsoever, giving the impression that Chris and his [[Pokémon]] abominations are the only thing standing between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[jerkops]]), as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law?|[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In conversation with [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of an insane, tyrannical dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any [[homosexual]] activity to the authorities. The participants are then "tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service."<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck]]</ref> Apparently in CWCville, the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution]] does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice, and neither does the [[wikipedia:Lawrence v. Texas|U.S. Supreme Court ruling]] finding sodomy laws to be unconstitutional.

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] has shown no less than four grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property. There was no evidence to suggest that this act of mass murder was even investigated by the authorities, and the comic portrays this act of [[terrorism]] as Chris heroically defeating a gang of criminals.

Following the death of [[Simonla]], the culprits ([[Alec]], [[Mao]], [[Sean]] and [[Evan]]) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the [[Wikipedia:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth Amendment]]) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being [[Tobacky|high as a kite]]. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged'' (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the [[Wikipedia:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth Amendment]] forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a [[Marvey Blaziken|state attorney]], as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [sic]. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the U.S.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerk]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

{{Chris and}}