CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Giant Penis Comic

2010-06-16T09:36:18Z

Fuckwaldo: /* When you see it... */

==Home Movies Connection==
Just wanted to point out that the sequence at the end of the comic appears to be lifted from Home Movies. Sauce is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-GPMyX0vuY here], for your consideration.

The part he probably did rip off of Excel Saga is where takes his consenting sexual partner to a hotel, where he strips nude to reveal an enormous boner. This was from the special episode that never aired on Japanese television because it was crammed full of sex and violence. And even then, the animators had the decency to do the giant boner gag with a bed sheet covering the erection. I'll be editing the article to show you what I mean... first, I gotta go throw up a hundred times.[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 03:19, 29 April 2009 (CEST)

Not only that, he ripped off the end conversation from one of Brendon's movies (which are intentionally terrible). He also drew Ivy's father like coach John McGuirk, the drunk, irresponsible irish-american soccer coach from the same series. It's even more hilarious if you read out Ivy's father's speech in McGuirk's voice. [[User:Bjarki|Bjarki]] 18:13, 13 September 2009 (CEST)

Doesn't anyone else find it funny that Chris really believes two clumsy virgins will be so amazing in bed that they will make each other orgasm at 65 MPH during their first night of sex? Despite the fact that Chris will NEVER get laid, I just can't help but chuckle at the thought of him blowing his load five seconds into sex during his first time. Chuckle, and gag. [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]]
*He actually fantasizes that he will come prematurely. Yes, it's following the porn he watches, but still you'd think that a guy would at least be able to hold it in his day dreams. Chris, evidently, is a complete failure in addition to a sex God in his own head. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 03:52, 16 November 2009 (CET)
*Jesus . . . thats so funny its not even sad in the slightest. I think I might cry. [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]]
:*That's actually not even the half of it, or even a quarter of it. It gets a fuck of a lot funnier/sadder. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olWaj2vqNXU For your listening pleasure. I would link to the page, but the annotations make it so much easier for the worst parts. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 04:54, 16 November 2009 (CET)
:* Off topic, but being on "break" in that video is like Chris's "weekend." I'm not sure if it corresponds with the real weekend, but they're days when Chris does even less than he usually does. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 05:11, 16 November 2009 (CET)
::*Yeah, that's a good point. Did anyone ever ask exactly what he feels that he takes a break from? --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 05:32, 16 November 2009 (CET)

==When you see it...==
I have read on /cwc/ an interesting thread mentioning that Chris used his own genitals to trace the penis in the comic. The movement lines are there to hide the one single curved line that went across his scrotum. Truth or pure fluff? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:27, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:I don't recall Chris ever admitting that this comic actually exists in any form, so I think that's just conjecture. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:51, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::Not that it matters three months later, but I noticed that independently and added it in a few days before you asked. While I don't know if he traced it, the fact that he drew a giant scrot (actually proportional to his wang) is beyond dispute. He also started to draw pubes on it, and then used the highlight/speedlines to cover it up. It's telling that the central figure, the one he started with and would base the entire drawing around, was an immense image of a penis. [[User:Fuckwaldo|Fuckwaldo]] 09:36, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

Christian's Update 13 September 2008

2010-03-16T17:38:31Z

Fuckwaldo:

[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]] (officially '''Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008''').

Recovering from the [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|uploading of his nude photos on ED]], Chris insists that [[Blanca]] is real, and therefore was not responsible for tricking him. (He is, of course, half right. The [[troll]] who leaked the nudes wasn't Blanca, but Blanca was still, in fact, a troll.)

Chris goes on to inform his [[Trolls|fans]] of bootleg [[Sonichu]] merchandise sold by [[Jimmy Hill]], and calls for a boycott. He also gives an update on the progress of the Sonichu video game, as the project is currently on hold due to [[JK Productions]] being another group of trolls playing a prank on him. Chris reiterates his call for all Sonichu fans to pressure [[Miyamoto|Nintendo]] and Sega to work with Chris to make the Sonichu game.

==Watch==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008
| image = {{#ev:youtube|PLjkTzSN3lM}}
| Stardate = 13 [[September 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Galpals}}[[Gal pals]]; {{Rumors}}Rumours; {{Video games}}[[Video games]]
| Performance Style = {{Reason}}Reason
| Saga = {{Blanca}}[[Blanca]] Saga; {{Hill}}[[Jimmy Hill|Hill]] Saga
| Shirt = {{JerkopShirt}}Jerkop
| previous = [[Christian's_Update_11_September_2008#Watch|Christian's Update Sept. 11, 2008]]
| next = [[Chris_Chan_Update_24_September_2008#Video|Chris Chan Update September 24, 2008]]
}}</center>

{{quote|Blanca’s real. I talked to her.}}

===Transcript===

September 13, [[2008]]. Update.

Eh, y'know, I've gotten over the mess! It's all settled now.

[[Blanca]]’s real. ''I talked to her [his eyes widen to the proportions of a caricature of a psychotic]. Yeah - she called me.'' So, as for the, uh, person who-- as for the jerk who, uh, posed… with the a-- “KawaiiKitsune” name? If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. Buh bye bay nose. But if anybody knows the whereabouts of the… ''jerk''… and just happens to be nearby… or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.

Anyway, as for-- anyway, I'm happy now. I'm happy. So, uh, thank y'all for your emotional support, those of y'all who sent me e-mails and messages.

Alright. So, onto, uh, other pressing issues. Yeah.

The-- first off, the, uh, toys in the UK: they're definitely, uh, fake. I have never approved any merchandise or distribution of such [''pronounces this like “search”''] merchandise yet. So, therefore, the advertisements of such, uh, Sonichu merchandise in the UK? All fake. Uhhh… possibly, this guy named, uh… “[[Jimmy Hill|Jerry… ''Hill'']]” I think his name was? But… I mean, uh, that's, uh, from a suggestion from-- uh, from-- uh, that's a name I got from-- uh, one of-- from-- uh, one-- from one of my fans.

Yeah. So, uh, you know, his initials are “JH”. If y-- I'm sure y'all have heard about him, uh… the g-- the-- uh, the g-- the, uh, person who told me about, uh, this-- told me about, uh, “JH”… also, apparently, sold fake stuff for Warner Bros, and, uh, they sued him… and they ''arrested'' him, so, apparently… he ''could'' be the one that's, uh… trying to make a… f-f-fast buck off of… fake merchandise.

Alright. So, uh, anyway… boycott th-- buying such-- buying those-- buyin’ the merchandise from the UK… buying ''any'' merchandise from there. Boycott it! Don't do it.

As for the, uh, game-- uh, as for the, uh, video game… yeah, that's, uh, temporar-- that’s temporary on pause, because apparently, “JK Productions”… they were a fake company, as I received an e-mail from the, uh, prankster behind that-- behind that, uh… pull of the leg. Him ''confessing''. So, uh, anyway, it's temporary on pause, so… All my fans: talk to Nin-- t-tend-- talk to Nintendo. Talk to Sega! Tell 'em to come talk to me! I wanna get Sonich-- get the Sonichu game idea… up in the air with-- between Nintendo and Sega.

So… yeah. That basically covers the, uh, topics of, uh, interest for now. So, uh… [''cell phone starts ringing (with a [[Britney Spears]] “Crazy” MIDI ringtone)''] you know who I am. I'll talk to y-- I'll, uh, give another update when I feel like it.

Peace out.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-09-13]]

20 December 2009

2010-03-11T11:46:27Z

Fuckwaldo:

In "'''Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009'''" (officially "'''12202009.MOV'''"), [[Chris]] torments one of his many cats ([[Kitty Chandler]]) and discusses how he could not upload any [[Sonichu|comic pages]] due to his shitty computer not working after a [[Stress|blackout]]. He also tells his viewers not to look at any billboards in New York City that involve him, claiming that [[Clyde Cash]] had photoshopped the pictures.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 12202009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IlYBUzuW9KA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 20 December 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Rumours.png]] Rumors
| Shirt = [[Image:Greenwidestripeshirt.png]] Green Wide Stripes
| previous = [[Hello, Juffalo]]
| next = [[A Sonichu Day]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:0721-Kitty.JPG|thumb|Kitty, hating Chris as always]]
[[Image:KittyHatesChris.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

[''noise of a growling cat is prominently heard whilst Chris holds her'']

Mm, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate: December 20th, 2009,

[''loud growl'']

Oop.... [''Chris speaks in baby voice''] My little [[Chandler Cats#Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] here is getting a [[Chris and Anger|little fussy]].

[''to the cat in baby voice''] Y—it's okay, Kitty. It's okay. [[Megan Schroeder|Calm down—it's okay]]. Huai. Yeah. She's just my sweet little Kitty. Yeah. Okay I'll let you down, Kitty.

[''Chris puts cat down after it harshly hisses, and the cat stops growling'']

[''now acknowledging the viewers''] You know how [[Love Quest|kitties can be sometimes]]. Anyway, um, making this video as an update. I apologize for past couple of nights of me not being able to upload any pages, because, uh, yesterday I had a two-second blackout which pretty much, uh, took my computer out and, uh, what not, I'm trying to restart it, it messed it u—it wouldn't work for me, so I had to go through a whole restoring-the system restore thing, and it just took me a whole... great number... ti—great amount of time for me to fix that and reinstall al-most everything, but, yeah—but, a—as soon as—as soon as this bad time this video is uploaded, I'll be able to, uh, answer a few more letters in the mailbag, and I will. Kitty....

[''In a moment of classic autism, Chris fucking forgets what he was talking about mere seconds ago and goes looking for the cat off-screen'']

Kitty, come here, Kitty. Kit-kit.

[''Chris grabs the cat off-screen, and the furious cat-screeching is heard, followed by Chris speaking to the cat'']

Aww. Easy now, Kit-ty. Easy now.

[''Chris puts cat down for no apparent reason, then continues to speak to the cat'']

Now, now... there you go.

[''speaking to the viewers again''] Eh, anyway—uh, anyway—so anyway, I have—anyway, I have the pages up tomorrow, which should be a total six pages, so look forward to that, and, also, uhh, recent uh, piece has come to my attention, yeah. Currently, do not believe anything you see on the billboards, 'cause, apparently, uh, Clyde Cash has, uh, been dis—been trying to shank my reputation there with his.... [[Pickle|thing]] and, uh, yeah, anyway, but you can tell obviously that that pi—that that picture he currently has there is photoshopped. Any picture he has of me is Photoshopped; it's fake; you can tell it's fake. So, again, uhhh, basically he's pu—making, he's just putting things right up in New York, but, anyway, just do not pay attention to those.... okay? Anyway, with that, uh, I'll leave you all to that, and I'll answer some more [[mailbag]] laters tonight. [[Chris and religion|Merry Christmas]].

==One of these things is not like the others==

Here are the pictures Clyde Cash uploaded on the Times Square's interactive billboard. Note that only one is actually photoshopped.

<center><gallery>
Image:Clyde billboard 01.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 02.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 03.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 04.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 05.jpg
Image:Clyde billboard 06.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Cats]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTKcKdeTEXM ChrisChanCat]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Hello, Juffalo]]|nextlink=[[A Sonichu Day]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

File talk:Captain's Log.jpg

2010-03-08T10:41:02Z

Fuckwaldo:

How delightful! I love it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:39, 10 November 2009 (CET)

:* Oh my GodJesus. Amazing. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 22:53, 10 November 2009 (CET)

:* HECK, EETZ BREELJUNT [[User:Ayvuir|Ayvuir]] 07:39, 11 November 2009 (CET)

:* KHAAAASH! That is amazing! [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 07:52, 11 November 2009 (CET)

:* I'm frightened by how much Chris + Kirk = Myopic Russel Crowe. [[User:Fuckwaldo|Fuckwaldo]] 10:41, 8 March 2010 (UTC)

Chris's resume

2010-03-08T09:07:51Z

Fuckwaldo: those words mean two very different things.

On 09 [[September 2009]], '''Chris's resume''' finally surfaced onto the Internet, through the effort of a troll with a friend who worked in an HR department. The following is Chris's complete resume, as it is posted on the popular resume website Monster.com, with only minor edits for wiki styling.

==Contact Info==

"[[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]" [[Christian Weston Chandler]] 
[[14 Branchland Court|14 Branchland Ct.]], [[Ruckersville, VA]] 22968-9545 
Home: 434-990-0198 Cell: 434-760-0848 
[[CWCipedia|Cwcipedia]]/CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site! 
[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page]

==Objectives==

I wish to make my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] franchise Official, with getting me paper published at [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]] or [[Wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse Comics]], with continuing work as Comic Book Artist and Story Creator/Editor, good pay, eventual Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise that I, personally, can officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future. (See attached pages for more info).

==Experience==
''[Note: for some reason, Chris listed each experience with an "Experience" heading. It is unknown why Chris did this, but for the sake of clarity, all job experience is collated into one heading.]''

Date of Employment: March 17, [[2000]] – Current 
(Self) C.W.C. Comics 
Ruckersville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Drawing, writing, coloring and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself from life, creating from scratch and setting up the first original Sonichu Site, [[CWC’s Sonichu Site]], as well as its sibling sites.
* Functional Skills: [[Lie|Great hand-drawing skills]], story-telling and editing, building design from [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD)]], quick touch-typing skills, great Photoshop experiences, good HTML skills.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, [[2003]] – September, 2003 
[[Cutco]] Cutlery 
[[Charlottesville, VA]] 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Salesman of their fine cutlery with the patented double-d edges.
* Functional Skills: Good people/social skills, great memorization of the salesman routine (won my boss over greatly with that memorizing).
* Transferable Skills: Good people/social skills, memorizing and swift learning.

Date of Employment: August, [[2001]] – October, 2001 
[[Wendy's|Wendys]]''[sic]'' Restaurant 
Ruckersville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: March, [[1998]] ''[sic]''<ref>The Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year.</ref> – June, [[2000]] 
[[Wikipedia:Books-a-Million|Books-a-Million]] 
[[Wikipedia:Midlothian,_VA|Midlothian, VA]] 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2000 – June, [[2002]] 
Toys “R” Us 
Charlottesville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2002 – June, [[2007]] 
[[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] 
Charlottesville, VA 

Job Title

* Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pok’emon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pok’emon Trading Card Game.
* Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
* Transferable Skills: All of the above.

==School Experience==

===Professional Education===

Dates of Attendance: 9/1/1996 to 6/15/2000
[[Manchester High School]]
Chesterfield County, Virginia

* High School Diploma with Honor Roll Grades.
* Honor Roll Star Pin awarded at Graduation.
* Certificate for serving on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year.

===Academic Education===

Dates of Attendance: August, 2000 to 6/1/2006
[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
Charlottesville, Virginia

* Made the Dean’s List with Honor Roll Grades
* Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Associates Degree
* Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Career Studies Certificate

==References==

Susan Hannifan

* PVCC Guidance Counsoler
* 501 College Dr. Charlottesville, VA 22902
* 434-961-5281
* shannifan@pvcc.edu

Reverend Elizabeth Foss

* Pastor of [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]
* 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
* 434-296-6976
* elizabethfoss22@earthlink.net

[[Rocky|Rocky Shoemaker]]

* Pastoral Counsoler
* 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
* 434-966-9636
* revrocky48@gmail.com

Tony Wayne

* Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School/Volunteer Pok’emon TCG League Gym Leader
* 2275 Hydraulic Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22901
* 434-975-9300 Ext. 60265
* vastphysics@comcast.net

==Job Objective, Full Story==

I, Christian Weston Chandler, Birth name: Christopher, born on February 24, 1982 in Charlottesville, Virginia, am an artist with vast experiences in multiple art classes with multiple media throughout my whole lifetime from Green County Primary School to Piedmont Virginia Community Collge, with a diploma from Manchester High School and a degree and certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD) from PVCC.

Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pok’emon on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books. I also have had and passed two HTML classes, and created from notepad scratch, CWC’s Pok’eSite 2!, El Pok’eSite de R.W.C. (Ricardo Weston Chandler was my Spanish nickname given to me during my two years of Spanish in Manchester High), and most importantly, the First and Original website dedicated to Sonichu, Rosechu and their adventures, CWC’s Sonichu Site.

I was also noted twice later in the periodicals of Nintendo Power magazine and PVCC’s The Forum for being the original creator of Sonichu and all. (See Periodical References below)

With the Sonichu [[Chris and English#Spelling|Stie]] originally located at http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm, it stayed online from about 2000 until early 2009, whereas my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase has grown massively over the years; there were also internet bullies and trolls. And the trolls hacked into and compromised my original Tripod webhosting account. I’ve had to pull the plug on the Tripod account and move on to another webhosting site. The second webhosting account suffered the same fate as the first, and then I moved to GoDaddy. It got hacked too, and so I pulled the plug on all my websites late May, 2009. I stayed off for about two months, then a gal-pal of mine about that time set up for me a start of what is now the New Original CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site; the wikipedia-styled Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page. As I have done on the previous site, I have re-uploaded my Sonichu comic pages, and I am steadily expanding further with more stories and character bio pages.

I would like to be paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, complete with Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise I can personally sign-off on to follow for my Worldwide Fanbase.

Accept no imposturous substitutes who claim to be me or have any rights on my Sonichu and Rosechu stuff; I stand strong with my continued use of the Copyright © symbol on each of all my books and original singular art pieces and the date of creation of March 17, 2000. I have eye-witnesses at Manchester High of Sonichu’s conception and creation on that date. It also bothers me that the trolls are even selling bootleg copies of my Life DVD, Christian Weston Chandler. Yep…I’m On T.V., which was originally intent solely for family and close friend distribution. Trust one of the trolls to snag a copy and rip the vieos from the six-hour DVD-R.

I became famous without having to leave my house or go out-of-state or city.

After recent realization, on about July 17, 2009, of what I want to do, I wish to make it all official; get me paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, with continuing work as a comic book artist and story creator/editor, good pay, eventual official Sonichu and Rosechu merchandise that I can personally and officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future.

“Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler, August 11, 2009

© March 17, 2000 by “Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler.

==Periodical References==

* Nintendo Power – Volume 179, May, 2004, Page 89 – [[Nintendo Power Magazine#The Documentary|Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary]]
* Piedmont Virginia Community College’s The Forum – Volume 1, No. 13, April 26, 2004 – Meet Sonichu – Student Featured in Nintendo Power – By Kari Mitchell, The Forum Assistant Editor.

==Notes==
<references/>

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
{{Documents}}

A-U-T-I-S-M

2010-03-08T02:17:29Z

Fuckwaldo: /* Interpretations */

"'''A-U-T-I-S-M'''" is the third track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''

The song is most notable as a view into [[Chris]]'s personal definition of [[autism]]: a condition that makes him quiet and has rendered him so especially intelligent and different that he can't make friends. It is strange that he refers to fellow autists as "us," given the fact that he always tries to disassociate with "[[slow in the minds]]," hence the mention of the [[honor roll]].

==Interpretations==

Students of the English language have been especially puzzled by the phrase "I look at you all, and I see a [[rainbow]]." Various explanations of this include:

*Chris looks at us all and sees a motley crew of [[homo|homosexuals]].
*It was an oversimplified explanation of Autism, (probably something like that the world is like a rainbow, with everyone being different and special) given to him by a doctor when he was a child which he has latched onto because he thinks it makes him different and special (it doesn't).

But since Chris can't use figurative language (let alone [[Speech Impediment|plain]] [[Chris and English|English]] to save his autistic ass), a more simple and plausible explanation is that Chris is drawing from the rainbow puzzle logo used by some autism charities, and the line is being said by someone looking at Chris, with an abrupt, sudden point of view change. Other examples of his tenuous grasp of symbolism and syntactic constructs comes from the line "friends unseen", which to Chris apparently implies nobody ever sees him with friends (because he has none), but to anybody else implies that his friends are invisible or hallucinations.

==Listen==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|5D3cyyiLpKM}}</center>

===Lyrics===

<poem>
[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "Larger Than Life"'']

Are you ready to party?

[[Yawning Squirtle|I've been high]] and feelin' like an outcast, alright?
But let me tell you: I need some [[Gal-pals|friends]] now, alright?
(’Cause) all of this time I’m livin’ unknown! [?]

[[Autism|A-U-T-I-S-M]]: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
And that makes us seem special to you!

I'm lookin' at you all, and I see a [[rainbow]], come on!
You think I'm [[Naitsirhc|different in every way]], come on!
All of the times that I've earned [[honor roll]]!

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
(And) that makes us seem special to you!

Oooh, oooh! Oooh, oooh!

All of this time, and I’ve never been known! [?]

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
And that makes us seem special to you!

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
(And) that makes us seem special!
That makes us seem special!
That makes us seem special to you!
</poem>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-03-08T01:59:24Z

Fuckwaldo: a little more color never hurt

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very anti-thesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, attractive and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]
'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (also known as "Little Pig Blanket" as [[Chris]] mysteriously pronounces it as) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for the [[Sony]] consoles, [[PS3]] and PSP. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] platformer which allows players to craft custom levels. (As a game experience, it is reputed to be quite different from the famous first-person shooter for the [[Hex Bawx]], where people [[Sonichu 10|drop crates and boxes]] on each other in level editor mode and shout [[homos|vile allegations]] at people. Why, that wouldn't do ''at all''.)

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that show his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]].

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too is completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of the game. He participated in the beta, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week of a break'' between the beta expiration and the official release<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> and was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, it made Chris go off the Internet for about two months (November 2008 - December 2008). LittleBigPlanet's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris had 100% of trophies for ''LittleBigPlanet'', but as of December 2009, he once again has unlockable trophies due to a LBP update that added some new trophies.

The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. There just weren't any idiot-proof game development platforms; they require unreasonable things like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is a manifestation of [[Sony]] faggotry (often pulled out by fanboys to attack the [[Hex Bawx]]), which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much.

It is also worth noting the irony, that Chris's favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well known [[homo|homosexual]] author, actor, comedian, narrator (for classic literature and film), Atheist (and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]]) as well as an advocate for gay rights.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though: He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how much you can carry. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he's also hoping he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?)

Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, he also thinks that the pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for Wii and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out. (This is all obviously false, though we can pretty much expect a pirate NES Mario hack to surface in Hong Kong ''any day now.'')

==Chris vs. Sony vs. LBP Community==

Sony have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the LittleBigPlanet's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the creator.

Sony Europe also have pulled his Sonichu levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement" - some say he was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringements, others obviously argue the whole forum furor was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of this Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have them reinstated to no avail.

Several videos that Chris had posted were addressed to the LBP community at large. See most of his LBP videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also pleaded the LBP community to not modify copies of his level, even when the game allows it.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris' levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. Poorly thought-out, not checked before publishing, laziness showing everywhere, technical incompetence all around and mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to LBP as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris' follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of his levels have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===

Chris began <del>developing</del> mashing this level together in the era when LBP was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic.

The rest of the level is just a plain old wall-to-wall storm of empty, poorly made blocks of material and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed seven times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

The level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured in LittleBigPlanet website. Vastly improved compared to Sonichu level, which still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks | build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|the guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness.

Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": A few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS | extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video.

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives [[User:CJB8895|massive ego]]-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009. Hint: ''Kacey and Chris weren't together yet back then.''

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Giant Penis Comic

2010-03-07T16:15:05Z

Fuckwaldo:

The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''Sonichu Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[sex|wedding-night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[2009#April|April 29, 2009]].

==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|The Giant Penis in question.]]
Following the events of Chris and Ivy's wedding, Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like coach John McGuirk from adult swim's [http://intensities.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/coach-mcguirk2.jpg Home Movies]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]] and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "strong, capable hands," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?).

We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (confirming that we are indeed in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite. Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[dirty crapped briefs|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, and chocolate pudding.

Chris carries Ivy over the threshold and they are almost immediately naked. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[pickle]], which turns out to be ''gigantic'', as in an [[duck|HUEG]] third leg. This depiction of his penis looks to be life-size, as Chris studied and traced it and was told to give special attention to its crookedness. Anime speed lines seem to whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum, still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles).

The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform—Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into some as-yet-unnamed fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the doggy-style position, and make love into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.

The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their ten-dollar chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpjHayAQHqc Home Movies].
{{clear}}
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic kid?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|Air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Jaunty banter, after-sex banter.
</gallery></center>

==Links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Comic]]

11042009 51 50

2010-03-07T15:26:40Z

Fuckwaldo: he pretty clearly says that, which is even funnier than the I'm straight comment.

"'''11042009 51 50'''" is a 5 [[November 2009]] video in Chris claims to do 51 curls of two 50 pound [[honor roll|(by his estimate)]] boxes of soda while wearing a ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]'' shirt. A 12-pack of soda weighs [http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_does_a_12-pack_of_canned_soda_weigh 10 1/2 lbs.], which means Chris was highballing his weight estimate just a tad.

Chris uses improvised dumbells to display [[I AM STRONG|his strength]] once more. Any intelligent person could buy a decent set of weights for $20 or less (which might not be such a good idea for Chris, since he'd probably injure himself actually trying to lift fifty pounds), but Chris isn't about to waste his [[monthly tugboat]] on something that could actually improve his life in any real way. It should be noted that his technique is horrible and lacking a full range of muscle movement, taking away most of the strain from the arms and [[Fail|rendering the exercise useless]]. Yet, around halfway into the video, the [[Obesity|profuse sweating]] still manages to make a return in a big way. Of course, in typical Chris fashion, one of his can packs breaks and the contents spill onto his lap, followed by the cans falling out the pack onto the floor.

Incidentally, "5150" usually refers to an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5150_(Involuntary_psychiatric_hold) involuntary psychiatric hold] in the State of California.

== Video ==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 11042009 51 50
| image = {{#ev:youtube|hladtYan5x0}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 5 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Parappashirtmini.png]] '''[[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]]'''
| previous = [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]
| next = [[No More Jokes]]
}}</center>

=== Transcript ===

[''Video seems to start in mid-sentence, Chris is holding a 12-pack of Minute Maid lemonade cans on his knee'']...12-pack. [''knocks on carton''] All the cans are in there. [''Turns the carton so he can read the content information''] 4.26 litres total. Estimated weight [''hefts box with his right hand, needing his left hand to support it as he does so''] unngh, I'd say [[Fail|over 50 pounds]] a thing.

[''Fumbles with the carton as he switches it to his left hand and holds it to his side, then uses his right hand to grab a second 12-pack of lemonade''] So now, watch this, aight?

[''Begins doing curls with the two 12-packs, counting reps for each arm aloud.'']

'''''Reps 1 through 3:''' Chris's posture is slouched forward as he lifts the cartons to shoulder height. He sways a bit from side to side with each rep.''

'''''Reps 4 through 6:''' Chris is already having difficulty lifting the cartons. He starts straining his eyes and his head rocks from side to side more.''

'''''Reps 7 and 8:''' Chris suddenly winces and arches backward as he lifts rep 7, his terrible posture giving him obvious pain. He grimaces through these reps.''

'''''Reps 9 through 11:''' He relaxes here, but he starts rocking his torso back and forth with the reps, as his arms alone are not able to pull the weight unassisted.''

'''''Reps 12 and 13:''' His swaying torso is no longer enough for these massive weights, so he starts kicking his legs a bit to help out.''

'''''Reps 14 through 17:''' Chris stops kicking his legs, but continues to rock back and forth.''

'''''Rep 18:''' Miscounts number 18 for his right arm as 19, but catches his mistake by counting his left arm as 19 twice.''

'''''Reps 20 through 31:''' Still rocking side to side and back and forth as he lifts, occasionally using his legs for assistance.''

'''''Reps 31 through 35:''' Chris's torso movement is now much more pronounced, flopping in all directions. Though his voice remains steady, his contorted face says he really hopes this will end soon.''

'''''Rep 36:''' He twists the carton in his right hand as he brings it up instead of keeping it straight, compromising the carton's structural integrity.''

'''''Rep 37:''' The inevitable happens. Chris twists the right side carton again as he lifts it and this time the carton rips and falls to his lap. He turns the box around and grips it by the other side of the hole he had been gripping it by.''

'''''Reps 38 through 44:''' Rep 38 goes smoother as he had a chance to rest while fumbling with the broken carton, but starting with rep 39, Chris is absolutely straining to bring the right side carton up to his shoulder. He twists his neck to his left each time he does so and scrunches his face tightly.''

''On 40, two cans fall out of the damaged box. He puts them back in and then starts on 41 for his right arm forgetting to do rep 40 for his left.''

'''''Reps 45 through 49:''' On 45, Chris twists his entire body to the left to bring the right-side carton up. This flies in the face of pretty much anyone's estimate of [[mass debating|which of his arms would be stronger]]. His following reps are a bit more relaxed, but he's still struggling mightily, especially with the right-side carton.''

'''''Rep 49:''' Another can falls out of the damaged box. Chris catches it on his lap and puts it back in the box.''

And that's not me. I am unstoppable.

'''''Rep 50:''' Chris resumes where he left off, reaching 50, which he pronounces to be "The Big Five-Oh".''

And to get around in the business sense, [''Lifts his right box high over his head''] fifty-one! [''Repeats action with his left''] And fifty...'''ONE!''' [''Sticks tongue out obscenely.''] Whaaaa! [''Places boxes on the ground''] What a workout!

[''Chris's face is completely drenched with sweat, he flashes a double thumbs-up, then flexes.''] I'm Strong '''NNNNGH'''! [''Approaches camera''] So ther- [''Video ends mid-word.'']

==Remix==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 11042009 51 50 - GAY
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dKSJ0V0Oj3Y }}
| Stardate = 5 November 2009
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia
| Subject = [[11042009 51 50]]
| Video Type = Remix
}}

==See also==
*[[30 Push-Ups]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]|nextlink=[[No More Jokes]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]