CWCki - User contributions [en]

September 2026 social media posts

2026-09-12T15:24:06Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[September 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X|𝕏]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==[[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP|A Tribute to Peter Cullen]] (Chris)==
5 September 
9:20 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|A bit late, but I wanted to honor [[Peter Cullen]]. I started recording on [[August 2026|August 27, 2026]].

Til All Are One! 
Be strong enough to be gentle. 
[[⚡️💙⚡️]]

<nowiki>#</nowiki>[[hasbro]] #petercullen

[''Posts link to [[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP]].'']}}

==I've been busy (Chris)==
5 September 
10:16 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

Mrs. CPU Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Chan, may you divulge the reason behind this sudden lull in posting?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I've been busy.}}

==Cullen will return with the merge (Chris)==
6 September 
10:24 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Danny|[''Replying to the previous post'']

Will he come back with the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]]?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|👍🏻}}

==RIP Tim Curry too (Chris)==
6 September 
10:29 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

Notice that this literal mother fucker said nothing about the GLORIOUS {{w|Tim Curry}}. 
[[A-Logging|I hope you are devoured by squirrels you detestable wretch!]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Tim Curry's a good man as well. I was focused on Peter. I know Tim voiced Princess Sally's father.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|You are not a good man. You sexually assaulted your own mother, you manipulated those around you to feel pity for you rather than her. Your case actually sets up precedent in the Commonwealth to not believe victims of assault. You have single-handedly set women back decades.}}

==Undecided on Sonic OCs (Chris)==
6 September 
10:30 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

What are your thoughts on lord x and 2011x 
[''Posts image of two Sonics.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Not a fan nor a hater; I don't like this image, and I am neutral about it, because I don't know anything about it.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|wdym you don't like this image huhhh. 
wait. you're THE CHRIS CHAN??}}

==Agreeing with Paymo banning spammer (Chris & Paymo)==
6 September 
9:50 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

It would appear your mod has banned me from commenting [[December 2024 social media posts#No Morrowind|for asking about the morrowind]] could you ask him not to ban me for asking about the morrowind}}

Philip Paymo then created a Bluesky account.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|I banned you because you were spamming.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|No I wasn't you dick I ask about the chris chan morrowind stream every video spamming is when you post rapidly in short succession something like some ween rapidly spelling out the n word in chat over and over again is spam what I'm doing isn't spam}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Actually, I agree with Philip. It is spamming, because you did it on repeat. I am not a fan of those who repeat something like it is the "freshest meme on the block". Plus, I am busy with life and my projects, so unless I actually feel like it, it's a "no" to your question.}}
{{quotebox|Plus, I'm even less interested, because of the repetitive mentioning and requesting.

You can take a lesson from #[[Lightning Bliss|LightningBliss]] in her Blissy Idea, Loppy Idea series.

<nowiki>youtu.be/jeX4MV0EmbI?is=eifoVyu37-ljlvOz</nowiki>}}

Chris followed Paymo's account.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|If you really want me to stop being repetitive then actually engage with your audience outside of superchats there is a great reason it's primarily made up of weens and observers and not actual fans and it's because you actively disregard them and take advantage of them for money}}
{{quoteboxgreen|but oh my oh me if I were to reply to non paying comments they'd stop giving me money for legos and transformers toys. Vro most streamers reply to comments vert frequently and still receive donations probably more than you because they actually work to build up and maintain an audience}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|Maybe the reason she doesn't often respond to regular comments is because 80% of the comment section is people insulting her or trying to take advantage of her. That's the reason I signed up to moderate, to try and fix that issue so eventually the comment section is worth something again.}}
{{quoteboxorange|There are obviously normal people with good intentions in the comments, and we appreciate all of them, but when there's such a flood of people who aren't engaging in good faith, it can be very difficult to sift through it. Until we do so consistently enough where we can reasonably trust them,}}
{{quoteboxorange|there has to be [[Money|some way to verify that you're engaging in good faith]], or at least that it's more likely than not. I apologize if you really were engaging in good faith and we weren't able to trust it. To be honest, though, from the way you're engaging now, I think it's very unlikely that you are.}}
{{quoteboxorange|I hope someday this isn't an issue and there can be a strong and trusting community around her work at large, but sadly, the way things have panned out, there's some work we have to do to get there. I appreciate the trust she and most of the community have placed in me, and I hope to live up to it.}}

Chris liked the above four posts by Paymo.

==JCWCSP Cameo Q&A (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September 
2:36 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|@[[Philip Paymo|philippaymo.bsky.social]] compiled this short Q&A for me. Thank you. 
⚡️💙⚡️

[''Posts link to [[JCWCSP Cameo Q&A]].'']}}

On Twitter, the word "short" is removed and Paymo's handle is replaced with "Philip Paymo".

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=3:43 PM|Thank you for the credit! It was a pleasure to work on this!}}

Chris liked the above post.

==Paymo warns Chris against another orbiter (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September

Posted on Bluesky. [[Philip Paymo]] replies to Chris's previous post but gets no public reply from him.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:54 PM|Do you mind if I ask for your input on whether @ajlsonichu.bsky.social is trustworthy? She messaged me earlier today saying she's talked with you before and she seems fine from my talking to her, but I just want to make sure there's no bad history there before I continue talking with her to be safe.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=6:28 PM|We talked further and she tried to share what was clearly meant to be a private e-mail with me that you sent her, so I guess that answers the question. I blocked her, and I suggest you keep an eye on her in the future.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:36 PM|You have no expectation of privacy when you're violating someone else's behind their back.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:46 PM|If you don't want me to "expose" you, don't do something that needs to be exposed in the first place.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:49 PM|I would've been more than happy to trust you if you acted like someone worth trusting. I wish you were, and I genuinely don't understand what made you think it was okay to send something like that unprompted.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:55 PM|I have no intentions of "getting close with her" because I want to learn about private information. To any extent I'm "close" with Christine, it's because I'm happy to help her with her work and I like occasionally shooting the breeze with her as a friend. The fact that you see her like someone to}}
{{quoteboxorange|"win over" like that is frankly disturbing to me, and tells me a lot more about your intentions than anything else ever could. I can absolutely impose too much at times or get too parasocial, but I recognize that as my own flaw to work on, it's not my goal like it apparently is for you.}}
{{quoteboxorange|The fact that you're still demonizing her for things she hasn't done in years at this point also says a lot.}}

==Paymo admits to being CwcvilleGuardian2009 (Paymo)==
8 September

Posted on Bluesky. In leaked DMs with the fake [[Geno Samuel]] Bluesky account, [[Philip Paymo]] claims to have been behind the "CwcvilleGuardian2009" YouTube channel which Chris wanted taken down after he had been exposed to it on a livestream. Paymo denies being behind the Auli call however.

The CWCki editor Master has not claimed or accused Paymo was behind the call and was describing the matter as speculative on the CWCki.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Geno Samuel (genosamuel.bsky.social)|time=1:54 PM|Usually y'all know I prefer not to interfere with Chris Chan's personal affairs (unless there's money involved), but it simply felt wrong to turn a blind eye to this. Philip Paymo (@philippaymo.bsky.social) is unfortunately a bad actor to Chris behind the scenes. He keeps getting caught in his lies. 
[[File:genosamuel-philippaymo DMs.png|200px]]
}}
{{quoteboxgreen|If you see an amateur AI video involving @cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social on YouTube, it is likely the work of this troublemaking troll.

(From [[CWCki]])

Be the better man, Philip, and admit to your lies before you bury yourself deeper. We can only hope Philip would be forgiven by Goddess Christine. 
[''Posts screencap of the CWCki.'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:15 PM|Dude, is it true that you're lying my guy?? See the post above me @philippaymo.bsky.social, but Geno Samuel on Bluesky said that Philip Paymo is actually a troll to Chris Chan and not actually a good faith fan?? Please prove this wrong}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:20 PM|The account above is a [[Geno Samuel]] impersonator.

As I explained in the included message, I've never done anything with the intent to harass, troll, or willfully impersonate anyone in this community, and I take issue with anyone who uses my content, past or present, to do so.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:23 PM|But he posted that the CWCki says it is you. Because one of the editors is accusing you of using several alt accounts which you partially admit to there? Also, i swear that i remember seeing that chris was following geno on here, so are you sure?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:28 PM|I have no interest in what the CWCki says about me.

Here's Christine's latest word on the above account: [''Posts link to [[March 2026 social media posts#Calling out ween impersonating Geno Samuel|an earlier post by Chris]]'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:32 PM|Oh shit. Well, bad intentions or not, they do seem worth addressing? The coincidental account deletions, also both of those things being donated to chris before, you have donated to chris before too..? and someone said are u faking being trans, voice in this video..? <nowiki>www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC7VjvKulxs</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:36 PM|What specifically are you expecting me to say? If you don't want to believe that I haven't been behind any harassment, I don't know what else to tell you.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:39 PM|Well did you put fillers on your voice or something because someone said it sounds biologically male (their words, not mine) while you are saying to be FtM, I dont mean to offend..}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:40 PM|lol okay}}

At 3:30 PM, Paymo blocked kaelynnism.bsky.social.

==Deltarune Reference (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|time=5:33 PM|Mr. Paymo, what does "Make them Ring" mean? Are they bells? Do you wish to be so famous and revered that bells ring every time you are seen outside?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|It's a Deltarune reference.}}

==Rule of thumb (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky. Paymo complains about the [[CWCki]].

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|time=8:27 PM|As a rule of thumb: any website that presents everything you do in the worst manner possible is not worth its salt.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:29 PM|I won't be responding to any further drama or questions about my past relationship with my clients.}}

==Paymo surrenders (Paymo)==
11 September

Paymo makes a rant about being harassed by Kiwi Farms. [[Touching the Poop|If you can't take the heat, don't stand next to the fire.]]

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|time=4:57 PM|I'm sorry about the recent drama. I've found myself in the center of a massive harassment campaign trying to accuse me of things I didn't do, and I've spent most of the past few days doomscrolling through threads talking about me. To those who've seen posts accusing me of wrongdoing,}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|I want you to know that very little of what you've read is true. I've been an edgelord in the past, but that's the extent of what I've done. I believe the truth will come out eventually, and I'm going to try not to engage in the future, but the cracks made by this will take a long time to repair.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|That said, I apologize for not fully disclosing my past, as upon reflection, it was clearly important to this community, even if I didn't mean any harm at the time and believed my videos to be clearly ironic. I admit that I was thoughtless with some of the videos I released on Cwcvilleguardian2009.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|I want to be clear that my support for this community, and for Christine, is wholehearted and unironic. Thank you for the people who've supported me through this. I'm going to lay low for the next few days and then do my best to get back to my duties. I can't answer any more questions at this time.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:00 PM|As a final note, to those who've sent me death threats or threatened to dox me, I hope you better yourselves.}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 09]]

September 2026 social media posts

2026-09-12T15:22:27Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[September 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X|𝕏]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==[[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP|A Tribute to Peter Cullen]] (Chris)==
5 September 
9:20 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|A bit late, but I wanted to honor [[Peter Cullen]]. I started recording on [[August 2026|August 27, 2026]].

Til All Are One! 
Be strong enough to be gentle. 
[[⚡️💙⚡️]]

<nowiki>#</nowiki>[[hasbro]] #petercullen

[''Posts link to [[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP]].'']}}

==I've been busy (Chris)==
5 September 
10:16 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

Mrs. CPU Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Chan, may you divulge the reason behind this sudden lull in posting?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I've been busy.}}

==Cullen will return with the merge (Chris)==
6 September 
10:24 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Danny|[''Replying to the previous post'']

Will he come back with the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]]?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|👍🏻}}

==RIP Tim Curry too (Chris)==
6 September 
10:29 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

Notice that this literal mother fucker said nothing about the GLORIOUS {{w|Tim Curry}}. 
[[A-Logging|I hope you are devoured by squirrels you detestable wretch!]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Tim Curry's a good man as well. I was focused on Peter. I know Tim voiced Princess Sally's father.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|You are not a good man. You sexually assaulted your own mother, you manipulated those around you to feel pity for you rather than her. Your case actually sets up precedent in the Commonwealth to not believe victims of assault. You have single-handedly set women back decades.}}

==Undecided on Sonic OCs (Chris)==
6 September 
10:30 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

What are your thoughts on lord x and 2011x 
[''Posts image of two Sonics.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Not a fan nor a hater; I don't like this image, and I am neutral about it, because I don't know anything about it.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|wdym you don't like this image huhhh. 
wait. you're THE CHRIS CHAN??}}

==Agreeing with Paymo banning spammer (Chris & Paymo)==
6 September 
9:50 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

It would appear your mod has banned me from commenting [[December 2024 social media posts#No Morrowind|for asking about the morrowind]] could you ask him not to ban me for asking about the morrowind}}

Philip Paymo then created a Bluesky account.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|I banned you because you were spamming.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|No I wasn't you dick I ask about the chris chan morrowind stream every video spamming is when you post rapidly in short succession something like some ween rapidly spelling out the n word in chat over and over again is spam what I'm doing isn't spam}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Actually, I agree with Philip. It is spamming, because you did it on repeat. I am not a fan of those who repeat something like it is the "freshest meme on the block". Plus, I am busy with life and my projects, so unless I actually feel like it, it's a "no" to your question.}}
{{quotebox|Plus, I'm even less interested, because of the repetitive mentioning and requesting.

You can take a lesson from #[[Lightning Bliss|LightningBliss]] in her Blissy Idea, Loppy Idea series.

<nowiki>youtu.be/jeX4MV0EmbI?is=eifoVyu37-ljlvOz</nowiki>}}

Chris followed Paymo's account.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|If you really want me to stop being repetitive then actually engage with your audience outside of superchats there is a great reason it's primarily made up of weens and observers and not actual fans and it's because you actively disregard them and take advantage of them for money}}
{{quoteboxgreen|but oh my oh me if I were to reply to non paying comments they'd stop giving me money for legos and transformers toys. Vro most streamers reply to comments vert frequently and still receive donations probably more than you because they actually work to build up and maintain an audience}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|Maybe the reason she doesn't often respond to regular comments is because 80% of the comment section is people insulting her or trying to take advantage of her. That's the reason I signed up to moderate, to try and fix that issue so eventually the comment section is worth something again.}}
{{quoteboxorange|There are obviously normal people with good intentions in the comments, and we appreciate all of them, but when there's such a flood of people who aren't engaging in good faith, it can be very difficult to sift through it. Until we do so consistently enough where we can reasonably trust them,}}
{{quoteboxorange|there has to be [[Money|some way to verify that you're engaging in good faith]], or at least that it's more likely than not. I apologize if you really were engaging in good faith and we weren't able to trust it. To be honest, though, from the way you're engaging now, I think it's very unlikely that you are.}}
{{quoteboxorange|I hope someday this isn't an issue and there can be a strong and trusting community around her work at large, but sadly, the way things have panned out, there's some work we have to do to get there. I appreciate the trust she and most of the community have placed in me, and I hope to live up to it.}}

Chris liked the above four posts by Paymo.

==JCWCSP Cameo Q&A (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September 
2:36 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|@[[Philip Paymo|philippaymo.bsky.social]] compiled this short Q&A for me. Thank you. 
⚡️💙⚡️

[''Posts link to [[JCWCSP Cameo Q&A]].'']}}

On Twitter, the word "short" is removed and Paymo's handle is replaced with "Philip Paymo".

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=3:43 PM|Thank you for the credit! It was a pleasure to work on this!}}

Chris liked the above post.

==Paymo warns Chris against another orbiter (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September

Posted on Bluesky. [[Philip Paymo]] replies to Chris's previous post but gets no public reply from him.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:54 PM|Do you mind if I ask for your input on whether @ajlsonichu.bsky.social is trustworthy? She messaged me earlier today saying she's talked with you before and she seems fine from my talking to her, but I just want to make sure there's no bad history there before I continue talking with her to be safe.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=6:28 PM|We talked further and she tried to share what was clearly meant to be a private e-mail with me that you sent her, so I guess that answers the question. I blocked her, and I suggest you keep an eye on her in the future.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:36 PM|You have no expectation of privacy when you're violating someone else's behind their back.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:46 PM|If you don't want me to "expose" you, don't do something that needs to be exposed in the first place.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:49 PM|I would've been more than happy to trust you if you acted like someone worth trusting. I wish you were, and I genuinely don't understand what made you think it was okay to send something like that unprompted.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:55 PM|I have no intentions of "getting close with her" because I want to learn about private information. To any extent I'm "close" with Christine, it's because I'm happy to help her with her work and I like occasionally shooting the breeze with her as a friend. The fact that you see her like someone to}}
{{quoteboxorange|"win over" like that is frankly disturbing to me, and tells me a lot more about your intentions than anything else ever could. I can absolutely impose too much at times or get too parasocial, but I recognize that as my own flaw to work on, it's not my goal like it apparently is for you.}}
{{quoteboxorange|The fact that you're still demonizing her for things she hasn't done in years at this point also says a lot.}}

==Paymo admits to being CwcvilleGuardian2009 (Paymo)==
8 September

Posted on Bluesky. In leaked DMs with the fake [[Geno Samuel]] Bluesky account, [[Philip Paymo]] claims to have been behind the "CwcvilleGuardian2009" YouTube channel which Chris wanted taken down after he had been exposed to it on a livestream. Paymo denies being behind the Auli call however.

The CWCki editor Master has not claimed or accused Paymo was behind the call and was describing the matter as speculative on the CWCki.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Geno Samuel (genosamuel.bsky.social)|time=1:54 PM|Usually y'all know I prefer not to interfere with Chris Chan's personal affairs (unless there's money involved), but it simply felt wrong to turn a blind eye to this. Philip Paymo (@philippaymo.bsky.social) is unfortunately a bad actor to Chris behind the scenes. He keeps getting caught in his lies. 
[[File:genosamuel-philippaymo DMs.png|200px]]
}}
{{quoteboxgreen|If you see an amateur AI video involving @cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social on YouTube, it is likely the work of this troublemaking troll.

(From [[CWCki]])

Be the better man, Philip, and admit to your lies before you bury yourself deeper. We can only hope Philip would be forgiven by Goddess Christine. 
[''Posts screencap of the CWCki.'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:15 PM|Dude, is it true that you're lying my guy?? See the post above me @philippaymo.bsky.social, but Geno Samuel on Bluesky said that Philip Paymo is actually a troll to Chris Chan and not actually a good faith fan?? Please prove this wrong}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:20 PM|The account above is a [[Geno Samuel]] impersonator.

As I explained in the included message, I've never done anything with the intent to harass, troll, or willfully impersonate anyone in this community, and I take issue with anyone who uses my content, past or present, to do so.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:23 PM|But he posted that the CWCki says it is you. Because one of the editors is accusing you of using several alt accounts which you partially admit to there? Also, i swear that i remember seeing that chris was following geno on here, so are you sure?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:28 PM|I have no interest in what the CWCki says about me.

Here's Christine's latest word on the above account: [''Posts link to [[March 2026 social media posts#Calling out ween impersonating Geno Samuel|an earlier post by Chris]]'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:32 PM|Oh shit. Well, bad intentions or not, they do seem worth addressing? The coincidental account deletions, also both of those things being donated to chris before, you have donated to chris before too..? and someone said are u faking being trans, voice in this video..? <nowiki>www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC7VjvKulxs</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:36 PM|What specifically are you expecting me to say? If you don't want to believe that I haven't been behind any harassment, I don't know what else to tell you.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:39 PM|Well did you put fillers on your voice or something because someone said it sounds biologically male (their words, not mine) while you are saying to be FtM, I dont mean to offend..}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:40 PM|lol okay}}

At 3:30 PM, Paymo blocked kaelynnism.bsky.social.

==Deltarune Reference (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|time=5:33 PM|Mr. Paymo, what does "Make them Ring" mean? Are they bells? Do you wish to be so famous and revered that bells ring every time you are seen outside?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|It's a Deltarune reference.}}

==Rule of thumb (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky. Paymo complains about the [[CWCki]].

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|time=8:27 PM|As a rule of thumb: any website that presents everything you do in the worst manner possible is not worth its salt.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:29 PM|I won't be responding to any further drama or questions about my past relationship with my clients.}}

==Paymo surrenders (Paymo)==
11 September

Paymo makes a rant about being harassed by Kiwi Farms. [[Touching the poop|If you can't take the heat, don't stand next to the fire.]]

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|time=4:57 PM|I'm sorry about the recent drama. I've found myself in the center of a massive harassment campaign trying to accuse me of things I didn't do, and I've spent most of the past few days doomscrolling through threads talking about me. To those who've seen posts accusing me of wrongdoing,}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|I want you to know that very little of what you've read is true. I've been an edgelord in the past, but that's the extent of what I've done. I believe the truth will come out eventually, and I'm going to try not to engage in the future, but the cracks made by this will take a long time to repair.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|That said, I apologize for not fully disclosing my past, as upon reflection, it was clearly important to this community, even if I didn't mean any harm at the time and believed my videos to be clearly ironic. I admit that I was thoughtless with some of the videos I released on Cwcvilleguardian2009.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=4:57 PM|I want to be clear that my support for this community, and for Christine, is wholehearted and unironic. Thank you for the people who've supported me through this. I'm going to lay low for the next few days and then do my best to get back to my duties. I can't answer any more questions at this time.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:00 PM|As a final note, to those who've sent me death threats or threatened to dox me, I hope you better yourselves.}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 09]]

Daniel Weston

2026-09-11T02:02:41Z

FullNameUnknown: /* The reality */

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *[[Stress sigh|sighs]]* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|[[Captain's Log]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Stardate November 7th, 2007]]}}

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623. Note the [[Creepy stare|blank stare]]... Doesn't it remind you of a [[Christian Weston Chandler|certain someone]]?]]

'''Daniel Weston''' is one of the people Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]],<ref name="publicannouncement" /> [[List of Chris's lies|whose only daughter died childless]]. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}}, who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's Heritage]]</ref>

In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the ''{{w|Mayflower}}'', the ship that carried the {{w|Pilgrims (Plymouth Colony)|Pilgrim Fathers}} to [[United States of America|America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]];<ref name="publicannouncement">[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> however, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard.<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the ''Mayflower'', although "he made his voyage later on".<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref> This was essentially the story he related to [[Catherine]] in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from Anne Boleyn, who has no living descendants whatsoever.

These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. Judging by her comments in the [[Rental House Tour]], she seems to believe that the English nobility and the royal family are identical. She also believes that whenever a title is created in the English nobility, ''everybody'' who bears that surname becomes a noble (or "royal").
{{clear}}

==Candidates for the historical Daniel Weston==
===Thomas Weston===
One theory holds that Chris actually meant to say {{w|Thomas Weston (merchant adventurer)|Thomas Weston}} (1584–c. 1647), an English merchant who funded the ''Mayflower''. This is dubious, as Thomas's only child, Elizabeth, married Roger Conant and adopted his surname. Her children, Samuel and John, bore the "Conant" surname.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Weston-7598</ref> Although either Samuel or John ''could'' be an ancestor of Barbara, they would not be the origin of the "Weston" surname.

===Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland===
Daniel Weston may have been a descendent of {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}} (1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/1635), who was Chancellor of the Exchequer and later Lord Treasurer of England under {{w|James I of England|James I}} and {{w|Charles I of England|Charles I}}. He was created 1st Baron Weston in 1628 and 1st Earl of Portland in 1633. He is most likely the Richard Weston mentioned in the [[Rental House Tour]] and [[Date with Catherine]]. Chris claims that Richard "preceeded" Daniel but is not sure what their exact relationship was.

===Sir Richard Weston (canal builder)===
A less likely possibility is that Daniel Weston was a descendent of {{w|Richard Weston (canal builder)|Sir Richard Weston}} (1591–1652), an English canal builder and agricultural improver. Richard broadly lived around the time of the ''Mayflower'', and he was a descendant of {{w|Sir Francis Weston}}, who was (dubiously) accused of adultery with [[Anne Boleyn]]. Although he was not a member of the nobility, he was knighted in 1622. Barb may have confused this Richard Weston with the more illustrious one mentioned above.

==The reality==
Christorians have traced Barb's paternal ancestry back to the English-born immigrant [[Francis Weston]] (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838), who arrived in America well after the Revolution and settled in [[Ohio]]. It is still possible that Francis was a descendent of some earlier illustrious ancestor named Daniel, but there is no evidence to suggest this.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

Chris ''does'', however, indeed have some connection to royals and early settlers, albeit on his father's side - his ancestor John Chandler, a pre-''Mayflower'' settler of Virginia whose descendents later ended up in Alabama, was married to Elizabeth Bassano, a relative of the court musicians of King Henry VIII.<ref>https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH</ref> Recently, it has also been discovered that [[Chandler Family Tree#Royalchus|King John of England]] is Chris's direct ancestor, proving his claims to be descended from English royalty to be true (although probably a bit farther up the tree than he hoped).

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Anne Boleyn]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Barbara Chandler]]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Daniel Weston

2026-09-11T02:02:13Z

FullNameUnknown: /* The reality */

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *[[Stress sigh|sighs]]* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|[[Captain's Log]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Stardate November 7th, 2007]]}}

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623. Note the [[Creepy stare|blank stare]]... Doesn't it remind you of a [[Christian Weston Chandler|certain someone]]?]]

'''Daniel Weston''' is one of the people Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]],<ref name="publicannouncement" /> [[List of Chris's lies|whose only daughter died childless]]. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}}, who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's Heritage]]</ref>

In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the ''{{w|Mayflower}}'', the ship that carried the {{w|Pilgrims (Plymouth Colony)|Pilgrim Fathers}} to [[United States of America|America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]];<ref name="publicannouncement">[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> however, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard.<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the ''Mayflower'', although "he made his voyage later on".<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref> This was essentially the story he related to [[Catherine]] in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from Anne Boleyn, who has no living descendants whatsoever.

These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. Judging by her comments in the [[Rental House Tour]], she seems to believe that the English nobility and the royal family are identical. She also believes that whenever a title is created in the English nobility, ''everybody'' who bears that surname becomes a noble (or "royal").
{{clear}}

==Candidates for the historical Daniel Weston==
===Thomas Weston===
One theory holds that Chris actually meant to say {{w|Thomas Weston (merchant adventurer)|Thomas Weston}} (1584–c. 1647), an English merchant who funded the ''Mayflower''. This is dubious, as Thomas's only child, Elizabeth, married Roger Conant and adopted his surname. Her children, Samuel and John, bore the "Conant" surname.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Weston-7598</ref> Although either Samuel or John ''could'' be an ancestor of Barbara, they would not be the origin of the "Weston" surname.

===Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland===
Daniel Weston may have been a descendent of {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}} (1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/1635), who was Chancellor of the Exchequer and later Lord Treasurer of England under {{w|James I of England|James I}} and {{w|Charles I of England|Charles I}}. He was created 1st Baron Weston in 1628 and 1st Earl of Portland in 1633. He is most likely the Richard Weston mentioned in the [[Rental House Tour]] and [[Date with Catherine]]. Chris claims that Richard "preceeded" Daniel but is not sure what their exact relationship was.

===Sir Richard Weston (canal builder)===
A less likely possibility is that Daniel Weston was a descendent of {{w|Richard Weston (canal builder)|Sir Richard Weston}} (1591–1652), an English canal builder and agricultural improver. Richard broadly lived around the time of the ''Mayflower'', and he was a descendant of {{w|Sir Francis Weston}}, who was (dubiously) accused of adultery with [[Anne Boleyn]]. Although he was not a member of the nobility, he was knighted in 1622. Barb may have confused this Richard Weston with the more illustrious one mentioned above.

==The reality==
Christorians have traced Barb's paternal ancestry back to the English-born immigrant [[Francis Weston]] (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838), who arrived in America well after the Revolution and settled in [[Ohio]]. It is still possible that Francis was a descendent of some earlier illustrious ancestor named Daniel, but there is no evidence to suggest this.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

Chris ''does'', however, indeed have some connection to royals and early settlers, albeit on his father's side - his ancestor John Chandler, a pre-''Mayflower'' settler of Virginia whose descendents later ended up in Alabama, was married to Elizabeth Bassano, a relative of the court musicians of King Henry VIII.<ref>https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH</ref> Recently, it has also been discovered that [[Chandler Family tree#Royalchus|King John of England]] is Chris's direct ancestor, proving his claims to be descended from English royalty to be true (although probably a bit farther up the tree than he hoped).

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Anne Boleyn]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Barbara Chandler]]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Anne Boleyn

2026-09-11T01:56:27Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{quote|And I do think I Am Entitled in a True, Valid Relationship with a woman very much like you, because I Need The Love, and not only that, but I Am Of Royalty in the [[Daniel Weston|Weston]] Bloodline.|Chris to [[Catherine]], 14 December 2014<ref>[[Catherine E-mails]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Anne boleyn.jpg|thumb|Chris's alleged progenitrix. Perhaps her bloodline resulting in [[Sonichu]] was why she was called [[Mary Lee Walsh|a witch]].]]

'''{{w|Anne Boleyn}}''' (written as '''Anne Bolyn''' by Chris,<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008"></ref> [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|c.1501/1507–19 May 1536]]) was Queen of [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|England and Ireland]] as the second wife of {{w|Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII}}. [[Chris]] claims to be a descendant of her from his [[Barbara|mother]]'s side of the family, via a certain [[Daniel Weston]] who was purportedly on the ''{{w|Mayflower}}''.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> Chris [[Chris and English|cannot even spell "Boleyn"]].<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008">[[IRC (22 December 2008)]], [[Mailbag 47#Begone]], [[MySpace messages#Jalena]]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Chris and Barb plan to produce evidence of their ancestry and topple the current royal {{w|House of Windsor}}.
[[File:KingChris.png|thumb|What Chris and Barb probably want to do with their royal heritage.]]

History buffs may notice a problem with this; aside from the fact that Daniel Weston never even existed, Anne Boleyn had only one daughter: {{w|Elizabeth I of England|Queen Elizabeth I}}. It is impossible for Chris to be descended from her, or indeed for anybody to be; Elizabeth I was childless and was in fact famously known as the [[virgin with rage|Virgin Queen]]; indeed, Chris's home state of [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia]] is named in her honor. The only conceivable way would have been through an illegitimate child, who by definition could not be royalty.

While Chris is not descended from Anne Boleyn, he still has an extremely small claim to royalty, since he is a direct descendant of [[Chandler Family Tree#Royalchus|King John of England]].

A possible basis for this claim might derive from the alleged adultery between Anne Boleyn and {{w|Francis Weston}} (who shares Barbara's surname). (We need to look more into this).

Current evidence suggests that Barb gave Chris this idea, which seems likely as he's been rambling about his ancestry for years, even before his discovery by the Internet. In August [[2005]], he tried to impress a girl on [[MySpace]] with this "fact" because she was interested in royalty.<ref>[[MySpace messages#Jalena]]</ref> This may have been this ridiculous notion's first outing, but it was not to be the last - as recently as 2014, in the [[Rental House Tour]], Barb and Chris bored [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]] to tears with a completely fictitious account of how the Westons are considered royalty to this day, and that she and Chris were "blood kin" to Queen Elizabeth I.

In late [[2008]], Chris deduced (or more likely decided) that he is descended from {{w|Mary Boleyn}} (Anne's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]]),<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008"/> and from {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}} (born 1577),<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009]]</ref> and later {{w|Earl of Portland|Earls of Portland}}.<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris had looked up Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn on [[Wikipedia]] to find a link between them<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> which fortifies the view that Chris and Barb [[List of Chris's lies|made the whole thing up]]. There is admittedly a possibility that his family tree loops back on itself, but it's [[Virginia|probably a good deal more recent than the Tudor period]].

In [[May 2009]], Chris also cited his ancestry as one of the reasons for [[Wikipedia]] to have an article on him.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], [[Zapina]] is said to be studying at "Bolyn High",<ref>''[[Sonichu 9]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_2 p. 2].</ref> probably named in reference to Anne Boleyn.

In [[March 2022]], a [[Reddit]]or used Wikitree to establish that, although Chris is most likely not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, they do share common ancestors: [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf]] (c. 1258 - 1323) gave birth to Thomas Bardolf (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, and Nicola Bardolf (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) in c. 1294. This means Anne Boleyn is Chris' 8th cousin, 11 times removed. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Daniel Weston]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Boleyn, Anne}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Chandler Family Tree

2026-09-11T01:50:24Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Royalchus */

[[File:Chrisfamilytree.png|thumb|Chris' family tree up to his great-great-grandparents|600x600px]]
Chris's ideas about his ancestry and lineage unsurprisingly differ greatly from what is known to be true.

Family members who live(d) after Chris was born can be found at [[Minor Family Members]].

==What Chris Actually Believes==
This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] ''imagines'' to be related to him:

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston,}}
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|1st Earl of Portland}}
??? │
│ ???
│ │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
Robert Jean ???
Franklin-----------Hollomon │
Chandler Sr. │ Chandler ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
Patricia [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
Chandler---------[[Bob Chandler|Franklin]]------------[[Barbara Chandler|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob Chandler|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara Chandler|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[Chandler Cats|cats]] [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Weston]] [[Cole Smithey|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti Chandler|Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]] [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti Chandler|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │ [[Reginald Chandler|Chandler]]
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris naturally drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the extremely [[Daniel Weston|dubious]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 in [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 11.28.62 in Roanoke / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriett Ashby]] / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* Carrie Edna Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* Joseph Otto Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* Jean Holloman Chandler / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* Robert F. Chandler Sr. / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* Victoria Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* Robert Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* Frances Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* J Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Basic ancestry of Chris is depicted in this tree.

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

A full-sized family tree going back many generations [https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH can be viewed here]<ref>[https://www.geni.com/people/Robert-Chandler-Jr/6000000004391419048 Bob's Ancestors]</ref><ref>[https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Chandler-5468 Bob's Immediate Family]</ref><ref>[http://www.ellerfamilyassociation.com/getperson.php?personID=I141&tree=christian2 Chris's Maternal Grandmother]</ref><ref>[https://www.richmond.com/news/local/hanover/mechanicsville-local/obituaries/william-gryder/article_d1f3f188-3241-11e6-8986-bf6ec13073c1.html One of Chris's Maternal Uncles by Marriage]</ref>.

== Notable ancestors ==
This section lists Chris' ancestors in chronological order from most to least recent death. Ancestors who fought for the Confederate States of America are listed separately, in the "Dixiechus" section.

=== Robert Wynn ===
Barbara's maternal grandfather '''Robert Pettus Wynn''' (17 Nov 1882 - 20 Jan 1954) was allegedly a two-timing [[Alcohol|drunk]] and moonshiner who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/genealogy/roots/individual.html#118</ref> In his death certificate, his profession is given as [[tobacco]] farmer.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

=== John James Hollomon ===
[[File:John James Hollomon.jpg|thumb|right|150px|John James Hollomon in 1910]]
Bob's maternal grandfather '''John James Hollomon''' (3 May 1868 - 16 Mar 1950) <ref>[https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/10638068/john-james-hollomon]</ref> was born in {{w|Meigs County, Tennessee}} but lived most of his later life in {{w|Wylie, Texas}}, a city and suburb in {{w|Collin County, Texas|Collin County}} and {{w|Dallas}} respectively. He was a well-known local pharmacist in the Collin county for over 50 years. He married twice in his life, first to Mary Francis Hollomon (née Teer 10th March 1872 - 3 Jul 1914), the daughter of a doctor specializing in osteopathic, whom he had 4 children including Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother. In 1915 he married Helen E. Hollomon (née Nelms 10 Apr 1893 - 29 Oct 1972) with whom he had 3 more children including Bob's half uncle Dr. John James "JJ" Hollomon Jr (1917-1992). Bob reminisces that Hollomon gave him a straight razor "by means of [Hollomon's] last will and testament," and Bob instead broke it while using it as a screwdriver, which he later held onto this regret for decades well into his 60s because he believed Hollomon wanted him to have it as a personal item and value.

Notable enough, his father was an Esquire John Richmond Hollomon (1831 - 1899), a lawyer and attorney in the Meigs County area.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70362078/susanna-brady#:~:text=of%20her%20son%2C-,J.R.%20Hollomon%20Esq.,-of%20this%20county</ref> More notable enough, his grandfather Pleasant Hollomon (1803 - 1865), served in the {{w|Tennessee House of Representatives}} in the Meigs and {{w|Rhea County, Tennessee|Rhea}} counties from 1849 to 1851. A democrat, he was a constable of the 5th Civil district of Meigs county in 1836-1839, was a deputy sheriff of Meigs in early 1840s and a deputy and tax collector in 1845.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70361465/pleasant-hollomon</ref>

===Rev. Sidney Smith Chandler===
'''The Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler''' (1805 - September 1866) was a Baptist minister and clergyman in Alabama. He is Chris's great-great-great grandfather along his paternal line. Born in Georgia, his father died in 1816 when he was 11. He moved to Alabama in 1829 and became a Primitive Baptist Clergyman and Minster in Autauga County. He also was a slaveowner, owning one [[Kathleen|female slave]] in the 1850 slave census.

He later married Mary Lucinda Walker and later fathered 12 children, including Joseph and his brother Edmund. He died in September of 1866 just shortly after the end of the American Civil War. Two of his sons, James (1830-1862) and Edmund (1835-1865) would die fighting in the Civil War.

===Francis Weston===
'''Francis Weston Sr.''' (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838) was an English-born immigrant to the United States and a frontiersmen. He is Barbara's great-great-grandfather along her paternal line, making him Chris's maternal great-great-great-grandfather.

Born in {{w|Derbyshire}}, he had immigrated to [[Ohio]] by 1820 and married at {{w|Wheeling, West Virginia}} a year later to Grace Moore, an English-born American, whose parents were also an immigrants from Derbyshire. They had six out of seven children survived, the second oldest being Mary Ann Weston in 1825 and the youngest Joseph Edward "John" Weston in July 1836,<ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HY-6Q23-PTF?i=2&cc=1401638&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMXSB-9Q8 Joseph (listed as Edward Weston) with his three older siblings and mother Gracy in 1850 census)]</ref><ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9BS6-DF?i=8&cc=1473181&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMCPH-V55 Gracy Weston (Joseph's mother) in 1860 census with her son Francis]</ref> all in {{w|Augusta Township, Carroll County, Ohio|Augusta Township}}. Through Joseph, Francis's surname would be carried on to [[Barbara]], which, in turn, would serve as the basis for [[Chris|our hero]]'s middle name.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

According to newspapers, After immigrating to Augusta Township, Francis, a frontiersmen, built a homestead house of his and his family in a wilderness place with 2 other families surrounded by wild animals and forest. The homestead house was a shanty with puncheon floor and chimney made with sticks and clay. They mentioned about the one occasion Francis was chased by wolves in a forest when coming home from buying fresh meats. Francis would pass away at age 45 in March 1838, 2 years after his youngest son Joseph was born.

In a later pseudo-historical account of events by Barbara and Chris, Francis is replaced by a certain [[Daniel Weston]]. Unlike the historical Francis Weston, ''Daniel'' Weston travelled to North America in 1620 (a whole 2 centuries earlier than Francis), and has the honor of being of a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]] (whose {{w|Elizabeth I|only daughter}} died childless).

Francis' son, Francis Weston Jr, according to newspapers, was a "popular" and successful businessman and general merchant, owning iron and furnace company, and many other successful companies at Ohio, West Virginia and Missouri with a college education to his name. Through his daughter Jane, Francis Sr is the grandfather of {{w|Pierce County, Washington}}'s Superior Court judge & attorney William Oscar Chapman, who at the time of admitting to {{w|Ohio State Bar Association|Ohio bar}}, was in the same group of applicants with a later president of the United States {{w|William Howard Taft}}.

=== Captain Joseph Looney ===
Joseph Lewellyn Looney (abt.1740-1816) fought in the {{w|American Revolutionary War}} on the Patriot side. He fought in the {{w|Battle of Guilford Court House}} under major general [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene]].<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Looney-149</ref>

=== Polly Bowman ===
{{main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}
Chris has at least one [[Cherokee]] ancestor, about whom he absolutely knows nothing. The ancestor was introduced in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'', which was completed on 3 May 2005. The ancestor was long assumed to be nonexistent, but on 16 January 2025 - 19 years and 8 months later - the ancestor was discovered to be real by CWCki editor [[User:Cilria2|Cilria2]]. '''Polly Bowman "Cherokee Mother" Cherokee''' (abt 1703 to 1790) is Chris's 7th great-grandmother.

=== John Chandler and Elizabeth Lupo ===
Although there is no evidence that his mother's ancestors were on board the ''Mayflower'', Chris's paternal ancestors were among the first settlers of his home state of Virginia. Chris's direct male ancestor '''John Chandler''' (c. 1600-1657), a native of London, was an early settler of {{w|Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown}}, [[Virginia]], arriving in 1610 with a boat ''Hercules'', ten years before the ''Mayflower''.<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/John-Chandler-l/6000000008639070482</ref> John married the widow '''Elizabeth Lupo''' (née '''Bassano'''), a member of the illustrious {{w|Jeronimo Bassano|Bassano family}} of [[Chris and music|musicians]] who had been recruited from Venice by {{w|King Henry VIII}} to serve in his court (some have claimed that the Bassanos were of [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]] origin, but the jury is out). The Chandler family migrated southwest over the generations, passing through North Carolina and Georgia before settling in Alabama, Bob's home state.

John Chandler is the fifth great-grandfather of the Dixiechu Joseph Chandler, and the ninth great-grandfather of Chris.

===Christian Binkley===

It seems GodBear had some inspiration when he was dubbing the world's favorite autist. He fought all 7 years in the Revolutionary War in the Pennsylvania militia.

===Richard Baker===
{{w|Richard Baker (chronicler)|Richard Baker}} (c. 1568 – 18 February 1645) was a politician, historian and religious writer. He was the English author of the ''Chronicle of the Kings of England'' and other works.

He is the 12th great-grandfather of Chris on Bob's mother side.

===Edward, Thomas Palmer & Thomas Overbury===
Thanks to John Chandler's grandson's wife Elizabeth Palmer, Chris's 7th great-grandmother, some Christorians did research about her ancestors. Chris has three known ancestors, two of which are Chris descendent of, and other is distantly related.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-2791</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-533</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Chris is a descendant of his 10th great-grandfather '''{{w|Edward Palmer (d.1624)|Edward Palmer}}''' (c. 1555–1624) from {{w|Gloucestershire}}, England, a gentleman with antiquarian interests who was known for his [[Stamps|extensive collections]] such as Roman coins and is best remembered for purchasing the then unnamed {{w|Garrett Island}} in colony of Virginia (now Maryland) for his plan of establishing university at the island.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-544</ref>

Edward had a son whom Chris is also descendant from. '''{{w|Thomas Palmer (burgess)|Thomas Palmer}}''' settled at Jamestown, Virginia on a boat ''Tyger'' with his wife Joan Jordan and 11 years old daughter Priscilla in November 1621. Shortly after their arrival at Jamestown, the Palmers were nearly killed by the [[Cherokian Clan|Powhatans]] during the {{w|Indian massacre of 1622}}, but survived by living in {{w|Jordan Point, Virginia#Jordan's Journey: Beggars Bush|Jordan's Journey}} shelter residence. Thomas was a captain in command of a company of militia from {{w|Eppes Island|Shirley Hundred Island}} and was a member of {{w|House of Burgesses}} at Jamestown on October 16, 1629.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Perhaps notably, Thomas was a first cousin of [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_a_poet_and_lyricist|poet]] and [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_an_essayist|essayist]] '''{{w|Thomas Overbury}}''' through his father's sister Mary Palmer and her husband {{w|Nicholas Overbury}}. Overbury was known for his poem, ''A Wife'', and a victim of murder by poisoning which led to a scandalous trial.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Overbury-10</ref>

=== Sir James Croft ===
Sir {{w|James Croft}} (1518- 4 September 1590) was English politician, who was Lord Deputy of Ireland, and MP for Herefordshire in the Parliament of England, He is Chris 12th great-grandfather on his paternal side.

=== Hugh and Isabel Bardolf ===
[[Image:Chris Anne Boleyn.png|thumb|How Chris is related to Anne Boleyn.]]
'''Hugh Bardolf''' (c. 29 September 1259 - c. 20 September 1304) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bardolf-9</ref> and '''Isabel Bardolf''' (born '''Isabel Aguillon'''; c. 25 March 1258 - c. 28 May 1323) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>, Chris' 19th great-grandparents, were a medieval English couple who married in 1281. According to a Redditor's Wikitree research in 2022, they are Chris' most recent shared ancestors with [[Anne Boleyn]] (albeit on his father's side, not his mother's): they gave birth to Thomas (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, Margery around 1283, William in 1284, and Nicola (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) around 1294. This means that, although Chris is not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, he is indeed a distant relative. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>

In addition to being the source of Chris's distant connection with Anne Boleyn, Hugh Bardolf was the first nobleman of {{w|Baron Bardolf}}, a noble title in the {{w|Peerage of England}}. His wife Isabel was a member of the {{w|Aguillon family}} (of French origin), who were feudal landowners in England. Isabel's father, Sir Robert Aguillon (c. 1226 - 15 February 1286)<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-4</ref>, was a Sheriff of Surrey & Sussex County and a keeper of two castles in both counties.

Hugh Bardolf's descendants unite with those of John Chandler (b. 1600) in 1700, when Robert Chandler (John's grandson, 1659 - c. 1720) and his wife Elizabeth Palmer (Hugh's 10th great-granddaughter, b. 1664) give birth to Joseph Chandler (11 Aug 1700 - 11 Oct 1764), Chris' 6th great-grandparent, in {{w|New Kent, Virginia}}.

A stark contrast can be observed in the fact that Hugh's first child is the ancestor of prestigious nobility (namely Anne Boleyn and her daughter Elizabeth I, an actual queen of England), while Hugh's fourth and last child is the ancestor of our infamous protagonist.

== Dixiechus ==
"'''Dixiechus'''" is a nickname used by Christorians to describe ancestors of Chris who fought for the {{w|Confederate States of America}} during the {{w|American Civil War}}. It is a portmanteau of ''{{w|Dixie}}'' and ''[[Sonichu]]''. The first Dixiechu to be identified was Joseph Chandler, discovered by Kiwifarms user Meat Pickle on 20 December 2021. The term "Dixiechu" was proposed on the [[Official CWCki Server]] on 24 April 2024, by which point four Dixiechus had been identified.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris was asked if he may have had ancestors who fought for the Confederacy, at a time when Joseph Chandler (on his father's side) was the only known Dixiechu. In [[Jail Letter - 25 May 2022]], he denied that his father's ancestors had fought for the Confederacy, but conceded that his mother's ancestors may have done so. In 2024, Christorians discovered William Drury Thompson - a Dixiechu on the maternal side of Chris' ancestry - partially vindicating Chris' statement.

As of 2026, Christorians have identified 6 Dixiechus. Half are known to have sustained combat injuries. 2 hailed from Alabama, 2 from North Carolina, 1 from South Carolina, and 1 from Mississippi. Though [[Virginia]] was both the Confederacy's most populous state and stands as Chris' place or origin, it is not known to have spawned any Dixiechus.

A total of 1,082,119 people served the {{w|Confederate States Army}} during the civil war.<ref>https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/civil-war-facts</ref> Anecdotal evidence suggests that half of modern-day southerners have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy.<ref>There is no large-scale study of Confederate ancestry to the knowledge of this wiki, but genealogists familiar with this area tend to estimate a ballpark of 40-55%.[https://pastexplore.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/okay-so-you-have-civil-war-ancestors/][https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-todays-southern-US-population-actually-have-ancestors-who-fought-for-the-confederacy]</ref> In this light, Chris' Confederate heritage should be seen as reflecting the norm rather than his own eccentricity.

In chronological order from most to least recent death, the Dixiechus include:

=== Joseph Chandler ===
[[File:Joseph chandler.png|thumb|right|150px|Joseph Chandler in 1911]]
'''Joseph Chandler''' (14 April 1832 - January 1925) of {{w|Autauga County, Alabama}} is Chris's great-great-grandfather along his paternal line. Joseph Chandler enlisted in the Confederate Army as a private in May 1862. Serving in the unit {{w|38th Alabama Infantry Regiment}} at {{w|Fort Gaines, Alabama|Fort Gaines}}, he fought in the {{w|Battle of Mobile Bay}} before being paroled in April 1865 after the conclusion of the war and was later discharged in August of that year due to broken shoulder.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1487#post-10736839 A Kiwi Farms post with a record of Joseph Chandler]</ref><ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=0AA5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's professions after the war were farmer, shoe maker and largely a herb doctor.<ref>http://alagenealogy.com/Patriarchs/Chandler,%20Sidney%20Smith.htm#JOSEPH%20H.2%20CHANDLER</ref>

Joseph also had a younger brother Edmund (1835 - 1865, Chris's great-great-granduncle), who also fought for the Confederacy at [https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Camp_of_Instruction,_Talladega,_Alabama#:~:text=Talladega%20was%20one%20of%20two,would%20be%20obliged%20to%20enroll.| Camp of Instruction, Talladega, Alabama], died as a result during the war in 1865.<ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=C3A5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's two younger sons John (1876 - 1932) and Rufus (1880 - 1932), both were killed on March 21, 1932 in {{w|Chilton County, Alabama|Chilton County area}}, from the {{w|1932 Deep South tornado outbreak}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/106731994/john-tyler_morgan-chandler</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/26986157/rufus-sidney-chandler</ref>

=== Caleb Nelson Headley ===
[[File:CalebHeadley.png|thumb|right|150px|Caleb Headley]]

'''Caleb Nelson Headley''' (1847-1921) was born on the 8th of March 1845 (1846 or 1847 depending on which source) in Darlington County, South Carolina as the only son of Wills Headley and Rebecca Bell, Caleb's father Wills died when he was just 7 years old in 1854, and he was soon taken into the custody of James Huckabee (who would later become his stepfather), who taught the boy farming until he was 21 years old.

In 1863 when he was just 18 years old, he enlisted in the Confederate Army as part of the 63rd Alabama Regiment, Company H (They were also known as Second Alabama Reserve), he took part in fighting in Spanish Fort (he was wounded) and was discharged at his home (he was on furlough at the time) in May of 1865.

Shortly after the end of the war, he settled in Coosa County Alabama, in 1874 he married Caroline Louisa Estes when he was 28 and she was 24 at her father's house in Talladega, Alabama, He would have 8 children from 1874 to 1892 including Martha Headley (Bob's paternal grandmother), Caleb was a farmer for most of his life, in 1898 he attempted to run for a political seat in Alabama State Assembly as a Representative for Chilton County as independent but withdraw and then backed the Populist ticket for that seat.

Caleb would see his health worsen in his later years, he became nearly blind by his late 60s and by 1920 was living with his son Robert E. L Headley. He died on August 21st, 1921 in Shelby County, Alabama at age of 76.

=== William Teer ===
[[File:Willam Teer.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Image of William Teer. (Very likely to be authentic) <ref>This image was uploaded to findagrave in 2016; William Teer was not known to Christorians to be Chris' ancestor in 2016. Family trees from both 2017[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris%27s_family_tree_up_to_his_great_great_grandparents.png] and 2019[https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH] omit the ancestry of Bob's maternal grandmother. Furthermore, his biography on rootsweb uses a similar image.[https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~dougmay/genealogy/Wmteer.htm]</ref>]]
Bob's matrilineal great-grandfather, '''Dr. William Teer''' (March 29, 1837 - October 19, 1919), was born in {{w|Neshoba County, Mississippi}}, and grew up in {{w|Angelina County, Texas}} since he was 10 years old with his seven siblings. The family later relocated to {{w|Hopkins County, Texas|Hopkins County}} outside {{w|Cumby, Texas|Cumby}} in 1860, where he worked as a farmer before enlisting in the army for the Civil War.

In October 1861, aged 24, William and his two brothers James (1830 - 1863) and Wiley (1839 - 1862), enlisted in the Confederate Army in San Antonio. Serving in the 4th Texas Cavalry Regiment, William participated in the {{w|New Mexico campaign}} under {{w|Henry Hopkins Sibley|General Sibley}}. Both of his brothers died during the war; James died at a Union prison camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, in 1863. William and Wiley fought in the battles of {{w|Battle of Valverde|Valverde}} and later to {{w|Battle of Glorietta Pass|Glorietta Pass}}, where in April 1862, Wiley was reportedly "lost or killed" and William suffered serious injuries, including a shattered right arm, a damaged spleen, and later contracting hepatitis (It might be worth reflecting how close Teer was to dying at this point - a slightly different outcome could have prevented all of Christory a century before it began). After the capture of Texas Army's supply wagons by the US Army, they retreated, leaving William and other recovering soldiers at the {{w|Santa Fe, New Mexico|Santa Fe}} hospital before shortly being captured. He was later paroled in May 1862, returning to San Antonio. Due to his injuries and disability, he was honorably discharged from his unit by General {{w|Thomas Green (general)|Thomas Green}} in September 1863 and returned to his home in Cumby, working as a farmer despite his shattered right arm.

William was married four times throughout his life. In December 1862, he married Mary Frances Carraway of Alabama, who passed away in 1867. He then remarried Louisa Frances Spears of Tennesse, in 1868, but that marriage also ended early. In January 1871, he married Nancy Jane Coburn of {{w|Ashley County, Arkansas}}. From this marriage, he had seven children, including Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother and the wife of John James Hollomon. After Nancy's death in 1894, William remarried to Bettie King of {{w|Mount Pleasant, Texas|Mount Pleasant}} in March 1907 at age 70, and this marriage lasted until his death in 1919.

In November 1903, inspired by the nerve damage in his shattered right arm, William established himself as an {{w|osteopath}} doctor in {{w|Tyler, Texas}}, specializing in "Exophthalmic Goitre, Biliary Calculi (Gall Stones) Paralysis, and all Nervous Diseases." He became the president of the State Association of Drugless Doctors of Texas and advocated massaging and other holistic approaches to wellness. As a doctor in Tyler, he was described as a highly respected figure, endorsed by many prominent members of the city's society. After retiring, he resided at the Texas Confederate Home in Austin before moving back to Cumby in 1918, where he later passed away in October 1919 at his youngest daughter's {{w|Miller Grove, Texas|Miller Grove}} home caused by a second paralyzing stroke.

William was mentioned in a book titled "[https://archive.org/details/texanswhoworegra00john| Texans who Wore the Gray (1907)]", written by a Confederate officer, journalist, and author Sidney Smith Johnson (1840-1910). Johnson described William as "a brave Confederate soldier, a man of fine education, and a Christian gentleman."

=== Garnder E. Shearin ===
'''Garnder E. Shearin'''' (1836/1837 - 28 January 1901)<ref>https://digital.ncdcr.gov/Documents/Detail/shearin-gardner-e.-warren-county/1671784</ref><ref>https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-warren-record-gardner-early-shearin/521312/</ref> was a Confederate veteran from North Carolina. He married Martha in 1859. In May 1861, he enlisted in the Confederate army in Warren County, North Carolina, fighting in company B of North Carolina's 30th infantry regiment remaining in service until the end of the war in 1865.

An obituary to him reads: "I was not with him in the army but learned from others, that he was a faithful soldier. My association with him since the war enables me to say I never knew a kinder hearted or monre congenial natured man. Always ready to serve a friend."

He is ancestor of Chris via Barb's side of his ancestry.

=== Rufus Walker ===

'''Rufus Walker''' (1820-1895) was a Confederate soldier who served in Company H and came from Milton, Alabama, located in Autauga County. He became a prisoner of war after being surrendered by Lieutenant General Richard Taylor to Major E.R.S. Canby on May 4, 1865. Rufus was later paroled in Selma in June 1865.<ref>https://38thalabama.com/ndashv-to-zndash.html</ref>

According to the 1850 Census's Slave Report, Rufus Walker owned as many as '''twenty-one''' slaves before manumission in 1865. What benevolent people Chris is descended from!

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather, with the lineage as follows: Rufus Walker (1820-1895) > Mary Elizabeth Walker (1840-1887) > Joseph Chandler (1871-1947) > Robert F. Chandler Sr. (1906-1977) > Robert ("[[Bob]]") F. Chandler Jr. (1927-2011) > Chris

=== William Drury Thompson ===
'''William Drury Thompson''' (1814 - 17 May 1862) was a civil war enlistee from North Carolina, although it's unknown which side of the military force, (although there's a record suggesting he's a Confederate enlistee for North Carolina's Infantry 12th Regiment), died during his basic training in Richmond, Virginia due to illnesses, 2 months after enlisting.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/262604729/william-drury-thompson</ref>

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather. More specifically, he is the paternal grandfather of the maternal grandmother of Barbara.

== Royalchus ==

=== King John ===

{{w|John, King of England|King John}} (1166/7 - 1219) was King of England from 1199 to 1219. Among many things, he is known for being the central antagonist of most Robin Hood stories and becoming the primary signatory to the Magna Carta.

To us Christorians, King John is special, as he is currently the latest King of England that is confirmed to be in Chris's family tree. The lineage, though extremely long, is as follows: King John > Joan, Lady of Wales > Marared Llywelyn > William de Braose Sr. > William de Braose Jr. > Aline de Braose > John de Mowbray Sr. > John de Mowbray Jr. > Thomas Mowbray > Isabel de Mowbray > Maurice Berkeley > Jamese Berkeley > Mary Anne de Berkeley > Catrin Verch Johnes > Cecil Vaughan > William John Bassett > Elizabeth Bassett > Mary Mercy Thomaston > Rachel Potts > Deborah Burson > Mary Lewellyn > Jane Looney > Mary Polly Baker > John Hollomon > Jean Hollomon > Robert Franklin Chandler > Chris.

While this does confirm Chris's claims to royalty, it does not confirm Chris's claim that he is directly descended from [[Anne Boleyn]]. He was discovered to be in Chris's family tree on 10 September 2026 by CWCki editor [[User:FullNameUnknown|FullNameUnknown]].

==Ancestry.com content==
In [[January 2017]], a distant relative of Chris posted images to Kiwi Farms, on various documents relating to the Chandler family, acquired from Ancestry.com<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/</ref>

{{quotebox|Bob is apparently an only child, however Barbara has five deceased siblings and several more living ones.}}
{{quotebox|Most of Chris's ancestors were [[RandomSong1|farmers]], doing tasks that Chris would find back breaking.}}
{{quotebox|Chris, from what I gathered, is not 1/16 Cherokian. He is however 1/16 British and 1/8 French Canadian.}}
{{quotebox|His great great grandparent's from Northern Ireland.}}
The "Northern Irish" ancestor was Chris's great-great-grandmother Mary Weston (née McClintic, 31 Oct 1834 - 25 Dec 1910). Mary was born in the town of {{w|Omagh}} (whose name means "the [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]] plain" in Gaelic) in County Tyrone, in what is today {{w|Northern Ireland}}. She came to the United States between 1840 and 1850, likely as a result of the {{w|Irish Potato Famine}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/22502739/joseph-mcclintock</ref> She settled in Augusta, Ohio, where she married Joseph "John" Edward Weston, Chris's great-great-grandfather, in 1858, who was also from Augusta. Both later settled in {{w|Clarksville, Virginia}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/24279732/mary-weston</ref>

The "French Canadian" ancestor was Chris's great-grandmother Sarah Ann Weston (née {{w|Clan Hamilton|Hamilton}}, Apr 1867 - 25 Jan 1938), who was born in [[wikipedia:Huntingdon, Quebec|Huntingdon]], {{w|Quebec}} and came to Virginia with her family during the 1870s, settling near Red Oak.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/35318370/sarah-jane-weston</ref><ref>https://www.ancestry.com/discoveryui-content/view/6823228286:62476</ref> Although the majority of Quebeckers speak French, her surname and the fact that she was born in a predominantly English-speaking part of Quebec suggest that she belonged to the province's English-speaking minority. Moreover, her paternal and maternal grandparents were all born in [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scotland]], making her of entirely Scottish descent.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249266361/jane-hamilton</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249027191/daniel-hamilton</ref> Sarah is Chris's most recent immigrant ancestor.

<center><gallery>
File:RobertPettusWynnWW1Draft.jpg|Robert Wynn WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:JosephWW1.png|Joe Weston WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:RobertChandlerSrDraft.png|Bob's father's WW2 military draftee (1940).
File:RobertSr1940DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's father's military card on a physical detail (1940).
File:Bob&Parents.png|Bob and his parents, Jean Hollomon & Robert F. Chandler Sr., (early 1940s).
File:RobertPettusWynnOldManWW2DraftCard.jpg|Robert Wynn WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:RobertWynn1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Robert Wynn military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:JoeOttoWestonOldMan1942WW2DraftCard.jpg|Joe Weston WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:JoeWeston1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Joe Weston military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's military card draftee (1946) (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png| Bob's WW2 military card on a physical detail (1946) (written in 1945).
File:JohnJamesHollomonObituary1950.jpeg|John James Hollomon's newspaper obituary (1950).
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.
File:Robert Chandler Sr.png| Bob's father with his four youngest kids (1969)
File:Chandler family reunion 1975.png | Chandler Family Reunion (1975)
File:Robert f obit.jpeg| Bob's father obituary (1977)
File:JerryAndBarbDivorce.png|1980 1 7 - Barbara, Jerry divorce.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in Jacksonville State University dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barbara and her parents and siblings - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Cole Smithey's family tree.png|Cole Smithey's family tree.
File:David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.png|David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.
File:Savannah Chandler's family tree.png|Savannah Chandler's family tree.
File:2023ChrisDNATest.png|Chris's ancestry, showing him to be 100% pure cracker. [[Transgender|Also note the got-dang Y chromosome.]].
</gallery></center>

== See also ==

*[[Imaginary family]]
*[[Minor Family Members]]
*[[Weston Haiku]]

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Lists]]
{{Fantasies}}

Chandler Family Tree

2026-09-11T01:49:34Z

FullNameUnknown: King John added

[[File:Chrisfamilytree.png|thumb|Chris' family tree up to his great-great-grandparents|600x600px]]
Chris's ideas about his ancestry and lineage unsurprisingly differ greatly from what is known to be true.

Family members who live(d) after Chris was born can be found at [[Minor Family Members]].

==What Chris Actually Believes==
This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] ''imagines'' to be related to him:

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston,}}
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|1st Earl of Portland}}
??? │
│ ???
│ │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
Robert Jean ???
Franklin-----------Hollomon │
Chandler Sr. │ Chandler ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
Patricia [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
Chandler---------[[Bob Chandler|Franklin]]------------[[Barbara Chandler|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob Chandler|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara Chandler|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[Chandler Cats|cats]] [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Weston]] [[Cole Smithey|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti Chandler|Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]] [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti Chandler|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │ [[Reginald Chandler|Chandler]]
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris naturally drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the extremely [[Daniel Weston|dubious]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 in [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 11.28.62 in Roanoke / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriett Ashby]] / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* Carrie Edna Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* Joseph Otto Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* Jean Holloman Chandler / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* Robert F. Chandler Sr. / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* Victoria Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* Robert Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* Frances Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* J Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Basic ancestry of Chris is depicted in this tree.

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

A full-sized family tree going back many generations [https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH can be viewed here]<ref>[https://www.geni.com/people/Robert-Chandler-Jr/6000000004391419048 Bob's Ancestors]</ref><ref>[https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Chandler-5468 Bob's Immediate Family]</ref><ref>[http://www.ellerfamilyassociation.com/getperson.php?personID=I141&tree=christian2 Chris's Maternal Grandmother]</ref><ref>[https://www.richmond.com/news/local/hanover/mechanicsville-local/obituaries/william-gryder/article_d1f3f188-3241-11e6-8986-bf6ec13073c1.html One of Chris's Maternal Uncles by Marriage]</ref>.

== Notable ancestors ==
This section lists Chris' ancestors in chronological order from most to least recent death. Ancestors who fought for the Confederate States of America are listed separately, in the "Dixiechus" section.

=== Robert Wynn ===
Barbara's maternal grandfather '''Robert Pettus Wynn''' (17 Nov 1882 - 20 Jan 1954) was allegedly a two-timing [[Alcohol|drunk]] and moonshiner who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/genealogy/roots/individual.html#118</ref> In his death certificate, his profession is given as [[tobacco]] farmer.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

=== John James Hollomon ===
[[File:John James Hollomon.jpg|thumb|right|150px|John James Hollomon in 1910]]
Bob's maternal grandfather '''John James Hollomon''' (3 May 1868 - 16 Mar 1950) <ref>[https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/10638068/john-james-hollomon]</ref> was born in {{w|Meigs County, Tennessee}} but lived most of his later life in {{w|Wylie, Texas}}, a city and suburb in {{w|Collin County, Texas|Collin County}} and {{w|Dallas}} respectively. He was a well-known local pharmacist in the Collin county for over 50 years. He married twice in his life, first to Mary Francis Hollomon (née Teer 10th March 1872 - 3 Jul 1914), the daughter of a doctor specializing in osteopathic, whom he had 4 children including Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother. In 1915 he married Helen E. Hollomon (née Nelms 10 Apr 1893 - 29 Oct 1972) with whom he had 3 more children including Bob's half uncle Dr. John James "JJ" Hollomon Jr (1917-1992). Bob reminisces that Hollomon gave him a straight razor "by means of [Hollomon's] last will and testament," and Bob instead broke it while using it as a screwdriver, which he later held onto this regret for decades well into his 60s because he believed Hollomon wanted him to have it as a personal item and value.

Notable enough, his father was an Esquire John Richmond Hollomon (1831 - 1899), a lawyer and attorney in the Meigs County area.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70362078/susanna-brady#:~:text=of%20her%20son%2C-,J.R.%20Hollomon%20Esq.,-of%20this%20county</ref> More notable enough, his grandfather Pleasant Hollomon (1803 - 1865), served in the {{w|Tennessee House of Representatives}} in the Meigs and {{w|Rhea County, Tennessee|Rhea}} counties from 1849 to 1851. A democrat, he was a constable of the 5th Civil district of Meigs county in 1836-1839, was a deputy sheriff of Meigs in early 1840s and a deputy and tax collector in 1845.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70361465/pleasant-hollomon</ref>

===Rev. Sidney Smith Chandler===
'''The Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler''' (1805 - September 1866) was a Baptist minister and clergyman in Alabama. He is Chris's great-great-great grandfather along his paternal line. Born in Georgia, his father died in 1816 when he was 11. He moved to Alabama in 1829 and became a Primitive Baptist Clergyman and Minster in Autauga County. He also was a slaveowner, owning one [[Kathleen|female slave]] in the 1850 slave census.

He later married Mary Lucinda Walker and later fathered 12 children, including Joseph and his brother Edmund. He died in September of 1866 just shortly after the end of the American Civil War. Two of his sons, James (1830-1862) and Edmund (1835-1865) would die fighting in the Civil War.

===Francis Weston===
'''Francis Weston Sr.''' (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838) was an English-born immigrant to the United States and a frontiersmen. He is Barbara's great-great-grandfather along her paternal line, making him Chris's maternal great-great-great-grandfather.

Born in {{w|Derbyshire}}, he had immigrated to [[Ohio]] by 1820 and married at {{w|Wheeling, West Virginia}} a year later to Grace Moore, an English-born American, whose parents were also an immigrants from Derbyshire. They had six out of seven children survived, the second oldest being Mary Ann Weston in 1825 and the youngest Joseph Edward "John" Weston in July 1836,<ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HY-6Q23-PTF?i=2&cc=1401638&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMXSB-9Q8 Joseph (listed as Edward Weston) with his three older siblings and mother Gracy in 1850 census)]</ref><ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9BS6-DF?i=8&cc=1473181&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMCPH-V55 Gracy Weston (Joseph's mother) in 1860 census with her son Francis]</ref> all in {{w|Augusta Township, Carroll County, Ohio|Augusta Township}}. Through Joseph, Francis's surname would be carried on to [[Barbara]], which, in turn, would serve as the basis for [[Chris|our hero]]'s middle name.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

According to newspapers, After immigrating to Augusta Township, Francis, a frontiersmen, built a homestead house of his and his family in a wilderness place with 2 other families surrounded by wild animals and forest. The homestead house was a shanty with puncheon floor and chimney made with sticks and clay. They mentioned about the one occasion Francis was chased by wolves in a forest when coming home from buying fresh meats. Francis would pass away at age 45 in March 1838, 2 years after his youngest son Joseph was born.

In a later pseudo-historical account of events by Barbara and Chris, Francis is replaced by a certain [[Daniel Weston]]. Unlike the historical Francis Weston, ''Daniel'' Weston travelled to North America in 1620 (a whole 2 centuries earlier than Francis), and has the honor of being of a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]] (whose {{w|Elizabeth I|only daughter}} died childless).

Francis' son, Francis Weston Jr, according to newspapers, was a "popular" and successful businessman and general merchant, owning iron and furnace company, and many other successful companies at Ohio, West Virginia and Missouri with a college education to his name. Through his daughter Jane, Francis Sr is the grandfather of {{w|Pierce County, Washington}}'s Superior Court judge & attorney William Oscar Chapman, who at the time of admitting to {{w|Ohio State Bar Association|Ohio bar}}, was in the same group of applicants with a later president of the United States {{w|William Howard Taft}}.

=== Captain Joseph Looney ===
Joseph Lewellyn Looney (abt.1740-1816) fought in the {{w|American Revolutionary War}} on the Patriot side. He fought in the {{w|Battle of Guilford Court House}} under major general [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene]].<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Looney-149</ref>

=== Polly Bowman ===
{{main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}
Chris has at least one [[Cherokee]] ancestor, about whom he absolutely knows nothing. The ancestor was introduced in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'', which was completed on 3 May 2005. The ancestor was long assumed to be nonexistent, but on 16 January 2025 - 19 years and 8 months later - the ancestor was discovered to be real by CWCki editor [[User:Cilria2|Cilria2]]. '''Polly Bowman "Cherokee Mother" Cherokee''' (abt 1703 to 1790) is Chris's 7th great-grandmother.

=== John Chandler and Elizabeth Lupo ===
Although there is no evidence that his mother's ancestors were on board the ''Mayflower'', Chris's paternal ancestors were among the first settlers of his home state of Virginia. Chris's direct male ancestor '''John Chandler''' (c. 1600-1657), a native of London, was an early settler of {{w|Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown}}, [[Virginia]], arriving in 1610 with a boat ''Hercules'', ten years before the ''Mayflower''.<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/John-Chandler-l/6000000008639070482</ref> John married the widow '''Elizabeth Lupo''' (née '''Bassano'''), a member of the illustrious {{w|Jeronimo Bassano|Bassano family}} of [[Chris and music|musicians]] who had been recruited from Venice by {{w|King Henry VIII}} to serve in his court (some have claimed that the Bassanos were of [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]] origin, but the jury is out). The Chandler family migrated southwest over the generations, passing through North Carolina and Georgia before settling in Alabama, Bob's home state.

John Chandler is the fifth great-grandfather of the Dixiechu Joseph Chandler, and the ninth great-grandfather of Chris.

===Christian Binkley===

It seems GodBear had some inspiration when he was dubbing the world's favorite autist. He fought all 7 years in the Revolutionary War in the Pennsylvania militia.

===Richard Baker===
{{w|Richard Baker (chronicler)|Richard Baker}} (c. 1568 – 18 February 1645) was a politician, historian and religious writer. He was the English author of the ''Chronicle of the Kings of England'' and other works.

He is the 12th great-grandfather of Chris on Bob's mother side.

===Edward, Thomas Palmer & Thomas Overbury===
Thanks to John Chandler's grandson's wife Elizabeth Palmer, Chris's 7th great-grandmother, some Christorians did research about her ancestors. Chris has three known ancestors, two of which are Chris descendent of, and other is distantly related.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-2791</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-533</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Chris is a descendant of his 10th great-grandfather '''{{w|Edward Palmer (d.1624)|Edward Palmer}}''' (c. 1555–1624) from {{w|Gloucestershire}}, England, a gentleman with antiquarian interests who was known for his [[Stamps|extensive collections]] such as Roman coins and is best remembered for purchasing the then unnamed {{w|Garrett Island}} in colony of Virginia (now Maryland) for his plan of establishing university at the island.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-544</ref>

Edward had a son whom Chris is also descendant from. '''{{w|Thomas Palmer (burgess)|Thomas Palmer}}''' settled at Jamestown, Virginia on a boat ''Tyger'' with his wife Joan Jordan and 11 years old daughter Priscilla in November 1621. Shortly after their arrival at Jamestown, the Palmers were nearly killed by the [[Cherokian Clan|Powhatans]] during the {{w|Indian massacre of 1622}}, but survived by living in {{w|Jordan Point, Virginia#Jordan's Journey: Beggars Bush|Jordan's Journey}} shelter residence. Thomas was a captain in command of a company of militia from {{w|Eppes Island|Shirley Hundred Island}} and was a member of {{w|House of Burgesses}} at Jamestown on October 16, 1629.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Perhaps notably, Thomas was a first cousin of [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_a_poet_and_lyricist|poet]] and [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_an_essayist|essayist]] '''{{w|Thomas Overbury}}''' through his father's sister Mary Palmer and her husband {{w|Nicholas Overbury}}. Overbury was known for his poem, ''A Wife'', and a victim of murder by poisoning which led to a scandalous trial.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Overbury-10</ref>

=== Sir James Croft ===
Sir {{w|James Croft}} (1518- 4 September 1590) was English politician, who was Lord Deputy of Ireland, and MP for Herefordshire in the Parliament of England, He is Chris 12th great-grandfather on his paternal side.

=== Hugh and Isabel Bardolf ===
[[Image:Chris Anne Boleyn.png|thumb|How Chris is related to Anne Boleyn.]]
'''Hugh Bardolf''' (c. 29 September 1259 - c. 20 September 1304) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bardolf-9</ref> and '''Isabel Bardolf''' (born '''Isabel Aguillon'''; c. 25 March 1258 - c. 28 May 1323) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>, Chris' 19th great-grandparents, were a medieval English couple who married in 1281. According to a Redditor's Wikitree research in 2022, they are Chris' most recent shared ancestors with [[Anne Boleyn]] (albeit on his father's side, not his mother's): they gave birth to Thomas (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, Margery around 1283, William in 1284, and Nicola (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) around 1294. This means that, although Chris is not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, he is indeed a distant relative. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>

In addition to being the source of Chris's distant connection with Anne Boleyn, Hugh Bardolf was the first nobleman of {{w|Baron Bardolf}}, a noble title in the {{w|Peerage of England}}. His wife Isabel was a member of the {{w|Aguillon family}} (of French origin), who were feudal landowners in England. Isabel's father, Sir Robert Aguillon (c. 1226 - 15 February 1286)<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-4</ref>, was a Sheriff of Surrey & Sussex County and a keeper of two castles in both counties.

Hugh Bardolf's descendants unite with those of John Chandler (b. 1600) in 1700, when Robert Chandler (John's grandson, 1659 - c. 1720) and his wife Elizabeth Palmer (Hugh's 10th great-granddaughter, b. 1664) give birth to Joseph Chandler (11 Aug 1700 - 11 Oct 1764), Chris' 6th great-grandparent, in {{w|New Kent, Virginia}}.

A stark contrast can be observed in the fact that Hugh's first child is the ancestor of prestigious nobility (namely Anne Boleyn and her daughter Elizabeth I, an actual queen of England), while Hugh's fourth and last child is the ancestor of our infamous protagonist.

== Dixiechus ==
"'''Dixiechus'''" is a nickname used by Christorians to describe ancestors of Chris who fought for the {{w|Confederate States of America}} during the {{w|American Civil War}}. It is a portmanteau of ''{{w|Dixie}}'' and ''[[Sonichu]]''. The first Dixiechu to be identified was Joseph Chandler, discovered by Kiwifarms user Meat Pickle on 20 December 2021. The term "Dixiechu" was proposed on the [[Official CWCki Server]] on 24 April 2024, by which point four Dixiechus had been identified.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris was asked if he may have had ancestors who fought for the Confederacy, at a time when Joseph Chandler (on his father's side) was the only known Dixiechu. In [[Jail Letter - 25 May 2022]], he denied that his father's ancestors had fought for the Confederacy, but conceded that his mother's ancestors may have done so. In 2024, Christorians discovered William Drury Thompson - a Dixiechu on the maternal side of Chris' ancestry - partially vindicating Chris' statement.

As of 2026, Christorians have identified 6 Dixiechus. Half are known to have sustained combat injuries. 2 hailed from Alabama, 2 from North Carolina, 1 from South Carolina, and 1 from Mississippi. Though [[Virginia]] was both the Confederacy's most populous state and stands as Chris' place or origin, it is not known to have spawned any Dixiechus.

A total of 1,082,119 people served the {{w|Confederate States Army}} during the civil war.<ref>https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/civil-war-facts</ref> Anecdotal evidence suggests that half of modern-day southerners have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy.<ref>There is no large-scale study of Confederate ancestry to the knowledge of this wiki, but genealogists familiar with this area tend to estimate a ballpark of 40-55%.[https://pastexplore.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/okay-so-you-have-civil-war-ancestors/][https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-todays-southern-US-population-actually-have-ancestors-who-fought-for-the-confederacy]</ref> In this light, Chris' Confederate heritage should be seen as reflecting the norm rather than his own eccentricity.

In chronological order from most to least recent death, the Dixiechus include:

=== Joseph Chandler ===
[[File:Joseph chandler.png|thumb|right|150px|Joseph Chandler in 1911]]
'''Joseph Chandler''' (14 April 1832 - January 1925) of {{w|Autauga County, Alabama}} is Chris's great-great-grandfather along his paternal line. Joseph Chandler enlisted in the Confederate Army as a private in May 1862. Serving in the unit {{w|38th Alabama Infantry Regiment}} at {{w|Fort Gaines, Alabama|Fort Gaines}}, he fought in the {{w|Battle of Mobile Bay}} before being paroled in April 1865 after the conclusion of the war and was later discharged in August of that year due to broken shoulder.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1487#post-10736839 A Kiwi Farms post with a record of Joseph Chandler]</ref><ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=0AA5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's professions after the war were farmer, shoe maker and largely a herb doctor.<ref>http://alagenealogy.com/Patriarchs/Chandler,%20Sidney%20Smith.htm#JOSEPH%20H.2%20CHANDLER</ref>

Joseph also had a younger brother Edmund (1835 - 1865, Chris's great-great-granduncle), who also fought for the Confederacy at [https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Camp_of_Instruction,_Talladega,_Alabama#:~:text=Talladega%20was%20one%20of%20two,would%20be%20obliged%20to%20enroll.| Camp of Instruction, Talladega, Alabama], died as a result during the war in 1865.<ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=C3A5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's two younger sons John (1876 - 1932) and Rufus (1880 - 1932), both were killed on March 21, 1932 in {{w|Chilton County, Alabama|Chilton County area}}, from the {{w|1932 Deep South tornado outbreak}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/106731994/john-tyler_morgan-chandler</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/26986157/rufus-sidney-chandler</ref>

=== Caleb Nelson Headley ===
[[File:CalebHeadley.png|thumb|right|150px|Caleb Headley]]

'''Caleb Nelson Headley''' (1847-1921) was born on the 8th of March 1845 (1846 or 1847 depending on which source) in Darlington County, South Carolina as the only son of Wills Headley and Rebecca Bell, Caleb's father Wills died when he was just 7 years old in 1854, and he was soon taken into the custody of James Huckabee (who would later become his stepfather), who taught the boy farming until he was 21 years old.

In 1863 when he was just 18 years old, he enlisted in the Confederate Army as part of the 63rd Alabama Regiment, Company H (They were also known as Second Alabama Reserve), he took part in fighting in Spanish Fort (he was wounded) and was discharged at his home (he was on furlough at the time) in May of 1865.

Shortly after the end of the war, he settled in Coosa County Alabama, in 1874 he married Caroline Louisa Estes when he was 28 and she was 24 at her father's house in Talladega, Alabama, He would have 8 children from 1874 to 1892 including Martha Headley (Bob's paternal grandmother), Caleb was a farmer for most of his life, in 1898 he attempted to run for a political seat in Alabama State Assembly as a Representative for Chilton County as independent but withdraw and then backed the Populist ticket for that seat.

Caleb would see his health worsen in his later years, he became nearly blind by his late 60s and by 1920 was living with his son Robert E. L Headley. He died on August 21st, 1921 in Shelby County, Alabama at age of 76.

=== William Teer ===
[[File:Willam Teer.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Image of William Teer. (Very likely to be authentic) <ref>This image was uploaded to findagrave in 2016; William Teer was not known to Christorians to be Chris' ancestor in 2016. Family trees from both 2017[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris%27s_family_tree_up_to_his_great_great_grandparents.png] and 2019[https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH] omit the ancestry of Bob's maternal grandmother. Furthermore, his biography on rootsweb uses a similar image.[https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~dougmay/genealogy/Wmteer.htm]</ref>]]
Bob's matrilineal great-grandfather, '''Dr. William Teer''' (March 29, 1837 - October 19, 1919), was born in {{w|Neshoba County, Mississippi}}, and grew up in {{w|Angelina County, Texas}} since he was 10 years old with his seven siblings. The family later relocated to {{w|Hopkins County, Texas|Hopkins County}} outside {{w|Cumby, Texas|Cumby}} in 1860, where he worked as a farmer before enlisting in the army for the Civil War.

In October 1861, aged 24, William and his two brothers James (1830 - 1863) and Wiley (1839 - 1862), enlisted in the Confederate Army in San Antonio. Serving in the 4th Texas Cavalry Regiment, William participated in the {{w|New Mexico campaign}} under {{w|Henry Hopkins Sibley|General Sibley}}. Both of his brothers died during the war; James died at a Union prison camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, in 1863. William and Wiley fought in the battles of {{w|Battle of Valverde|Valverde}} and later to {{w|Battle of Glorietta Pass|Glorietta Pass}}, where in April 1862, Wiley was reportedly "lost or killed" and William suffered serious injuries, including a shattered right arm, a damaged spleen, and later contracting hepatitis (It might be worth reflecting how close Teer was to dying at this point - a slightly different outcome could have prevented all of Christory a century before it began). After the capture of Texas Army's supply wagons by the US Army, they retreated, leaving William and other recovering soldiers at the {{w|Santa Fe, New Mexico|Santa Fe}} hospital before shortly being captured. He was later paroled in May 1862, returning to San Antonio. Due to his injuries and disability, he was honorably discharged from his unit by General {{w|Thomas Green (general)|Thomas Green}} in September 1863 and returned to his home in Cumby, working as a farmer despite his shattered right arm.

William was married four times throughout his life. In December 1862, he married Mary Frances Carraway of Alabama, who passed away in 1867. He then remarried Louisa Frances Spears of Tennesse, in 1868, but that marriage also ended early. In January 1871, he married Nancy Jane Coburn of {{w|Ashley County, Arkansas}}. From this marriage, he had seven children, including Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother and the wife of John James Hollomon. After Nancy's death in 1894, William remarried to Bettie King of {{w|Mount Pleasant, Texas|Mount Pleasant}} in March 1907 at age 70, and this marriage lasted until his death in 1919.

In November 1903, inspired by the nerve damage in his shattered right arm, William established himself as an {{w|osteopath}} doctor in {{w|Tyler, Texas}}, specializing in "Exophthalmic Goitre, Biliary Calculi (Gall Stones) Paralysis, and all Nervous Diseases." He became the president of the State Association of Drugless Doctors of Texas and advocated massaging and other holistic approaches to wellness. As a doctor in Tyler, he was described as a highly respected figure, endorsed by many prominent members of the city's society. After retiring, he resided at the Texas Confederate Home in Austin before moving back to Cumby in 1918, where he later passed away in October 1919 at his youngest daughter's {{w|Miller Grove, Texas|Miller Grove}} home caused by a second paralyzing stroke.

William was mentioned in a book titled "[https://archive.org/details/texanswhoworegra00john| Texans who Wore the Gray (1907)]", written by a Confederate officer, journalist, and author Sidney Smith Johnson (1840-1910). Johnson described William as "a brave Confederate soldier, a man of fine education, and a Christian gentleman."

=== Garnder E. Shearin ===
'''Garnder E. Shearin'''' (1836/1837 - 28 January 1901)<ref>https://digital.ncdcr.gov/Documents/Detail/shearin-gardner-e.-warren-county/1671784</ref><ref>https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-warren-record-gardner-early-shearin/521312/</ref> was a Confederate veteran from North Carolina. He married Martha in 1859. In May 1861, he enlisted in the Confederate army in Warren County, North Carolina, fighting in company B of North Carolina's 30th infantry regiment remaining in service until the end of the war in 1865.

An obituary to him reads: "I was not with him in the army but learned from others, that he was a faithful soldier. My association with him since the war enables me to say I never knew a kinder hearted or monre congenial natured man. Always ready to serve a friend."

He is ancestor of Chris via Barb's side of his ancestry.

=== Rufus Walker ===

'''Rufus Walker''' (1820-1895) was a Confederate soldier who served in Company H and came from Milton, Alabama, located in Autauga County. He became a prisoner of war after being surrendered by Lieutenant General Richard Taylor to Major E.R.S. Canby on May 4, 1865. Rufus was later paroled in Selma in June 1865.<ref>https://38thalabama.com/ndashv-to-zndash.html</ref>

According to the 1850 Census's Slave Report, Rufus Walker owned as many as '''twenty-one''' slaves before manumission in 1865. What benevolent people Chris is descended from!

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather, with the lineage as follows: Rufus Walker (1820-1895) > Mary Elizabeth Walker (1840-1887) > Joseph Chandler (1871-1947) > Robert F. Chandler Sr. (1906-1977) > Robert ("[[Bob]]") F. Chandler Jr. (1927-2011) > Chris

=== William Drury Thompson ===
'''William Drury Thompson''' (1814 - 17 May 1862) was a civil war enlistee from North Carolina, although it's unknown which side of the military force, (although there's a record suggesting he's a Confederate enlistee for North Carolina's Infantry 12th Regiment), died during his basic training in Richmond, Virginia due to illnesses, 2 months after enlisting.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/262604729/william-drury-thompson</ref>

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather. More specifically, he is the paternal grandfather of the maternal grandmother of Barbara.

== Royalchus ==

=== King John ===

{{w|John, King of England|King John}} (1166/7 - 1219) was King of England from 1199 to 1219. Among many things, he is known for being the central antagonist of most Robin Hood stories and becoming the primary signatory to the Magna Carta, a document most famous for establishing a guarantee of human rights to all Englishmen (mainly the right to a trial by jury) that would later inspire the U.S. Constitution and the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights. His reign is recognized by historians as one of the worst in English history, mainly attributed to his loss of England claims in mainland Europe to the Kingdom of France, allowing the Capetian dynasty to grow into what would become England's main rival for the next six centuries.

To us Christorians, King John is special, as he is currently the latest King of England that is confirmed to be in Chris's family tree. The lineage, though extremely long, is as follows: King John > Joan, Lady of Wales > Marared Llywelyn > William de Braose Sr. > William de Braose Jr. > Aline de Braose > John de Mowbray Sr. > John de Mowbray Jr. > Thomas Mowbray > Isabel de Mowbray > Maurice Berkeley > Jamese Berkeley > Mary Anne de Berkeley > Catrin Verch Johnes > Cecil Vaughan > William John Bassett > Elizabeth Bassett > Mary Mercy Thomaston > Rachel Potts > Deborah Burson > Mary Lewellyn > Jane Looney > Mary Polly Baker > John Hollomon > Jean Hollomon > Robert Franklin Chandler > Chris.

While this does confirm Chris's claims to royalty, it does not confirm Chris's claim that he is directly descended from [[Anne Boleyn]]. Discovered on 10 September 2026 by CWCki editor [[User:FullNameUnknown|FullNameUnknown]]

==Ancestry.com content==
In [[January 2017]], a distant relative of Chris posted images to Kiwi Farms, on various documents relating to the Chandler family, acquired from Ancestry.com<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/</ref>

{{quotebox|Bob is apparently an only child, however Barbara has five deceased siblings and several more living ones.}}
{{quotebox|Most of Chris's ancestors were [[RandomSong1|farmers]], doing tasks that Chris would find back breaking.}}
{{quotebox|Chris, from what I gathered, is not 1/16 Cherokian. He is however 1/16 British and 1/8 French Canadian.}}
{{quotebox|His great great grandparent's from Northern Ireland.}}
The "Northern Irish" ancestor was Chris's great-great-grandmother Mary Weston (née McClintic, 31 Oct 1834 - 25 Dec 1910). Mary was born in the town of {{w|Omagh}} (whose name means "the [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]] plain" in Gaelic) in County Tyrone, in what is today {{w|Northern Ireland}}. She came to the United States between 1840 and 1850, likely as a result of the {{w|Irish Potato Famine}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/22502739/joseph-mcclintock</ref> She settled in Augusta, Ohio, where she married Joseph "John" Edward Weston, Chris's great-great-grandfather, in 1858, who was also from Augusta. Both later settled in {{w|Clarksville, Virginia}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/24279732/mary-weston</ref>

The "French Canadian" ancestor was Chris's great-grandmother Sarah Ann Weston (née {{w|Clan Hamilton|Hamilton}}, Apr 1867 - 25 Jan 1938), who was born in [[wikipedia:Huntingdon, Quebec|Huntingdon]], {{w|Quebec}} and came to Virginia with her family during the 1870s, settling near Red Oak.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/35318370/sarah-jane-weston</ref><ref>https://www.ancestry.com/discoveryui-content/view/6823228286:62476</ref> Although the majority of Quebeckers speak French, her surname and the fact that she was born in a predominantly English-speaking part of Quebec suggest that she belonged to the province's English-speaking minority. Moreover, her paternal and maternal grandparents were all born in [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scotland]], making her of entirely Scottish descent.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249266361/jane-hamilton</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249027191/daniel-hamilton</ref> Sarah is Chris's most recent immigrant ancestor.

<center><gallery>
File:RobertPettusWynnWW1Draft.jpg|Robert Wynn WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:JosephWW1.png|Joe Weston WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:RobertChandlerSrDraft.png|Bob's father's WW2 military draftee (1940).
File:RobertSr1940DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's father's military card on a physical detail (1940).
File:Bob&Parents.png|Bob and his parents, Jean Hollomon & Robert F. Chandler Sr., (early 1940s).
File:RobertPettusWynnOldManWW2DraftCard.jpg|Robert Wynn WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:RobertWynn1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Robert Wynn military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:JoeOttoWestonOldMan1942WW2DraftCard.jpg|Joe Weston WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:JoeWeston1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Joe Weston military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's military card draftee (1946) (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png| Bob's WW2 military card on a physical detail (1946) (written in 1945).
File:JohnJamesHollomonObituary1950.jpeg|John James Hollomon's newspaper obituary (1950).
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.
File:Robert Chandler Sr.png| Bob's father with his four youngest kids (1969)
File:Chandler family reunion 1975.png | Chandler Family Reunion (1975)
File:Robert f obit.jpeg| Bob's father obituary (1977)
File:JerryAndBarbDivorce.png|1980 1 7 - Barbara, Jerry divorce.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in Jacksonville State University dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barbara and her parents and siblings - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Cole Smithey's family tree.png|Cole Smithey's family tree.
File:David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.png|David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.
File:Savannah Chandler's family tree.png|Savannah Chandler's family tree.
File:2023ChrisDNATest.png|Chris's ancestry, showing him to be 100% pure cracker. [[Transgender|Also note the got-dang Y chromosome.]].
</gallery></center>

== See also ==

*[[Imaginary family]]
*[[Minor Family Members]]
*[[Weston Haiku]]

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Lists]]
{{Fantasies}}

September 2026 social media posts

2026-09-10T01:42:08Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[September 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X|𝕏]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==[[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP|A Tribute to Peter Cullen]] (Chris)==
5 September 
9:20 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|A bit late, but I wanted to honor [[Peter Cullen]]. I started recording on [[August 2026|August 27, 2026]].

Til All Are One! 
Be strong enough to be gentle. 
[[⚡️💙⚡️]]

<nowiki>#</nowiki>[[hasbro]] #petercullen

[''Posts link to [[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP]].'']}}

==I've been busy (Chris)==
5 September 
10:16 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

Mrs. CPU Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Chan, may you divulge the reason behind this sudden lull in posting?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I've been busy.}}

==Cullen will return with the merge (Chris)==
6 September 
10:24 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Danny|[''Replying to the previous post'']

Will he come back with the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]]?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|👍🏻}}

==RIP Tim Curry too (Chris)==
6 September 
10:29 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

Notice that this literal mother fucker said nothing about the GLORIOUS {{w|Tim Curry}}. 
[[A-Logging|I hope you are devoured by squirrels you detestable wretch!]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Tim Curry's a good man as well. I was focused on Peter. I know Tim voiced Princess Sally's father.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|You are not a good man. You sexually assaulted your own mother, you manipulated those around you to feel pity for you rather than her. Your case actually sets up precedent in the Commonwealth to not believe victims of assault. You have single-handedly set women back decades.}}

==Undecided on Sonic OCs (Chris)==
6 September 
10:30 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

What are your thoughts on lord x and 2011x 
[''Posts image of two Sonics.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Not a fan nor a hater; I don't like this image, and I am neutral about it, because I don't know anything about it.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|wdym you don't like this image huhhh. 
wait. you're THE CHRIS CHAN??}}

==Agreeing with Paymo banning spammer (Chris & Paymo)==
6 September 
9:50 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

It would appear your mod has banned me from commenting [[December 2024 social media posts#No Morrowind|for asking about the morrowind]] could you ask him not to ban me for asking about the morrowind}}

Philip Paymo then created a Bluesky account.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|I banned you because you were spamming.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|No I wasn't you dick I ask about the chris chan morrowind stream every video spamming is when you post rapidly in short succession something like some ween rapidly spelling out the n word in chat over and over again is spam what I'm doing isn't spam}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Actually, I agree with Philip. It is spamming, because you did it on repeat. I am not a fan of those who repeat something like it is the "freshest meme on the block". Plus, I am busy with life and my projects, so unless I actually feel like it, it's a "no" to your question.}}
{{quotebox|Plus, I'm even less interested, because of the repetitive mentioning and requesting.

You can take a lesson from #[[Lightning Bliss|LightningBliss]] in her Blissy Idea, Loppy Idea series.

<nowiki>youtu.be/jeX4MV0EmbI?is=eifoVyu37-ljlvOz</nowiki>}}

Chris followed Paymo's account.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|If you really want me to stop being repetitive then actually engage with your audience outside of superchats there is a great reason it's primarily made up of weens and observers and not actual fans and it's because you actively disregard them and take advantage of them for money}}
{{quoteboxgreen|but oh my oh me if I were to reply to non paying comments they'd stop giving me money for legos and transformers toys. Vro most streamers reply to comments vert frequently and still receive donations probably more than you because they actually work to build up and maintain an audience}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|Maybe the reason she doesn't often respond to regular comments is because 80% of the comment section is people insulting her or trying to take advantage of her. That's the reason I signed up to moderate, to try and fix that issue so eventually the comment section is worth something again.}}
{{quoteboxorange|There are obviously normal people with good intentions in the comments, and we appreciate all of them, but when there's such a flood of people who aren't engaging in good faith, it can be very difficult to sift through it. Until we do so consistently enough where we can reasonably trust them,}}
{{quoteboxorange|there has to be [[Money|some way to verify that you're engaging in good faith]], or at least that it's more likely than not. I apologize if you really were engaging in good faith and we weren't able to trust it. To be honest, though, from the way you're engaging now, I think it's very unlikely that you are.}}
{{quoteboxorange|I hope someday this isn't an issue and there can be a strong and trusting community around her work at large, but sadly, the way things have panned out, there's some work we have to do to get there. I appreciate the trust she and most of the community have placed in me, and I hope to live up to it.}}

Chris liked the above four posts by Paymo.

==JCWCSP Cameo Q&A (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September 
2:36 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|@[[Philip Paymo|philippaymo.bsky.social]] compiled this short Q&A for me. Thank you. 
⚡️💙⚡️

[''Posts link to [[JCWCSP Cameo Q&A]].'']}}

On Twitter, the word "short" is removed and Paymo's handle is replaced with "Philip Paymo".

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=3:43 PM|Thank you for the credit! It was a pleasure to work on this!}}

Chris liked the above post.

==Paymo warns Chris against another orbiter (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September

Posted on Bluesky. [[Philip Paymo]] replies to Chris's previous post but gets no public reply from him.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:54 PM|Do you mind if I ask for your input on whether @ajlsonichu.bsky.social is trustworthy? She messaged me earlier today saying she's talked with you before and she seems fine from my talking to her, but I just want to make sure there's no bad history there before I continue talking with her to be safe.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=6:28 PM|We talked further and she tried to share what was clearly meant to be a private e-mail with me that you sent her, so I guess that answers the question. I blocked her, and I suggest you keep an eye on her in the future.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:36 PM|You have no expectation of privacy when you're violating someone else's behind their back.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:46 PM|If you don't want me to "expose" you, don't do something that needs to be exposed in the first place.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:49 PM|I would've been more than happy to trust you if you acted like someone worth trusting. I wish you were, and I genuinely don't understand what made you think it was okay to send something like that unprompted.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:55 PM|I have no intentions of "getting close with her" because I want to learn about private information. To any extent I'm "close" with Christine, it's because I'm happy to help her with her work and I like occasionally shooting the breeze with her as a friend. The fact that you see her like someone to}}
{{quoteboxorange|"win over" like that is frankly disturbing to me, and tells me a lot more about your intentions than anything else ever could. I can absolutely impose too much at times or get too parasocial, but I recognize that as my own flaw to work on, it's not my goal like it apparently is for you.}}
{{quoteboxorange|The fact that you're still demonizing her for things she hasn't done in years at this point also says a lot.}}

==Paymo admits to being CwcvilleGuardian2009 (Paymo)==
8 September

Posted on Bluesky. In leaked DMs with the fake [[Geno Samuel]] Bluesky account, [[Philip Paymo]] claims to have been behind the "CwcvilleGuardian2009" YouTube channel which Chris wanted taken down after he had been exposed to it on a livestream. Paymo denies being behind the Auli call however.

The CWCki editor Master has not claimed or accused Paymo was behind the call and was describing the matter as speculative on the CWCki.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Geno Samuel (genosamuel.bsky.social)|time=1:54 PM|Usually y'all know I prefer not to interfere with Chris Chan's personal affairs (unless there's money involved), but it simply felt wrong to turn a blind eye to this. Philip Paymo (@philippaymo.bsky.social) is unfortunately a bad actor to Chris behind the scenes. He keeps getting caught in his lies. 
[[File:genosamuel-philippaymo DMs.png|200px]]
}}
{{quoteboxgreen|If you see an amateur AI video involving @cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social on YouTube, it is likely the work of this troublemaking troll.

(From [[CWCki]])

Be the better man, Philip, and admit to your lies before you bury yourself deeper. We can only hope Philip would be forgiven by Goddess Christine. 
[''Posts screencap of the CWCki.'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:15 PM|Dude, is it true that you're lying my guy?? See the post above me @philippaymo.bsky.social, but Geno Samuel on Bluesky said that Philip Paymo is actually a troll to Chris Chan and not actually a good faith fan?? Please prove this wrong}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:20 PM|The account above is a [[Geno Samuel]] impersonator.

As I explained in the included message, I've never done anything with the intent to harass, troll, or willfully impersonate anyone in this community, and I take issue with anyone who uses my content, past or present, to do so.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:23 PM|But he posted that the CWCki says it is you. Because one of the editors is accusing you of using several alt accounts which you partially admit to there? Also, i swear that i remember seeing that chris was following geno on here, so are you sure?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:28 PM|I have no interest in what the CWCki says about me.

Here's Christine's latest word on the above account: [''Posts link to [[March 2026 social media posts#Calling out ween impersonating Geno Samuel|an earlier post by Chris]]'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:32 PM|Oh shit. Well, bad intentions or not, they do seem worth addressing? The coincidental account deletions, also both of those things being donated to chris before, you have donated to chris before too..? and someone said are u faking being trans, voice in this video..? <nowiki>www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC7VjvKulxs</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:36 PM|What specifically are you expecting me to say? If you don't want to believe that I haven't been behind any harassment, I don't know what else to tell you.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:39 PM|Well did you put fillers on your voice or something because someone said it sounds biologically male (their words, not mine) while you are saying to be FtM, I dont mean to offend..}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:40 PM|lol okay}}

At 3:30 PM, Paymo blocked kaelynnism.bsky.social.

==Deltarune Reference (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|time=5:33 PM|Mr. Paymo, what does "Make them Ring" mean? Are they bells? Do you wish to be so famous and revered that bells ring every time you are seen outside?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|It's a Deltarune reference.}}

==Rule of thumb (Paymo)==
9 September

Paymo assumedly calls out [[Kiwi Farms]] and the CWCki. Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|As a rule of thumb: any website that presents everything you do in the worst manner possible is not worth its salt.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:29 PM|I won't be responding to any further drama or questions about my past relationship with my clients.}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 09]]

September 2026 social media posts

2026-09-10T01:41:35Z

FullNameUnknown: I assume we're going to get more from this Paymo fellow in the coming weeks. New saga incoming?

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[September 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X|𝕏]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==[[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP|A Tribute to Peter Cullen]] (Chris)==
5 September 
9:20 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|A bit late, but I wanted to honor [[Peter Cullen]]. I started recording on [[August 2026|August 27, 2026]].

Til All Are One! 
Be strong enough to be gentle. 
[[⚡️💙⚡️]]

<nowiki>#</nowiki>[[hasbro]] #petercullen

[''Posts link to [[A Tribute to Peter Cullen from JCWCSP]].'']}}

==I've been busy (Chris)==
5 September 
10:16 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

Mrs. CPU Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Chan, may you divulge the reason behind this sudden lull in posting?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I've been busy.}}

==Cullen will return with the merge (Chris)==
6 September 
10:24 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Danny|[''Replying to the previous post'']

Will he come back with the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]]?}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|👍🏻}}

==RIP Tim Curry too (Chris)==
6 September 
10:29 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

Notice that this literal mother fucker said nothing about the GLORIOUS {{w|Tim Curry}}. 
[[A-Logging|I hope you are devoured by squirrels you detestable wretch!]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Tim Curry's a good man as well. I was focused on Peter. I know Tim voiced Princess Sally's father.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=pug lord|You are not a good man. You sexually assaulted your own mother, you manipulated those around you to feel pity for you rather than her. Your case actually sets up precedent in the Commonwealth to not believe victims of assault. You have single-handedly set women back decades.}}

==Undecided on Sonic OCs (Chris)==
6 September 
10:30 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|[''Replying to [[September 2026 social media posts#A Tribute to Peter Cullen|an earlier post]]'']

What are your thoughts on lord x and 2011x 
[''Posts image of two Sonics.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Not a fan nor a hater; I don't like this image, and I am neutral about it, because I don't know anything about it.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Funkin in New York City!|wdym you don't like this image huhhh. 
wait. you're THE CHRIS CHAN??}}

==Agreeing with Paymo banning spammer (Chris & Paymo)==
6 September 
9:50 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|[''Replying to [[August 2026 social media posts#Changeable Scouts Part 4 (Transformers of Cwcville Short) - Subtitled|an earlier post]]'']

It would appear your mod has banned me from commenting [[December 2024 social media posts#No Morrowind|for asking about the morrowind]] could you ask him not to ban me for asking about the morrowind}}

Philip Paymo then created a Bluesky account.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=[[Philip Paymo]]|I banned you because you were spamming.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|No I wasn't you dick I ask about the chris chan morrowind stream every video spamming is when you post rapidly in short succession something like some ween rapidly spelling out the n word in chat over and over again is spam what I'm doing isn't spam}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Actually, I agree with Philip. It is spamming, because you did it on repeat. I am not a fan of those who repeat something like it is the "freshest meme on the block". Plus, I am busy with life and my projects, so unless I actually feel like it, it's a "no" to your question.}}
{{quotebox|Plus, I'm even less interested, because of the repetitive mentioning and requesting.

You can take a lesson from #[[Lightning Bliss|LightningBliss]] in her Blissy Idea, Loppy Idea series.

<nowiki>youtu.be/jeX4MV0EmbI?is=eifoVyu37-ljlvOz</nowiki>}}

Chris followed Paymo's account.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Lucifur|If you really want me to stop being repetitive then actually engage with your audience outside of superchats there is a great reason it's primarily made up of weens and observers and not actual fans and it's because you actively disregard them and take advantage of them for money}}
{{quoteboxgreen|but oh my oh me if I were to reply to non paying comments they'd stop giving me money for legos and transformers toys. Vro most streamers reply to comments vert frequently and still receive donations probably more than you because they actually work to build up and maintain an audience}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|Maybe the reason she doesn't often respond to regular comments is because 80% of the comment section is people insulting her or trying to take advantage of her. That's the reason I signed up to moderate, to try and fix that issue so eventually the comment section is worth something again.}}
{{quoteboxorange|There are obviously normal people with good intentions in the comments, and we appreciate all of them, but when there's such a flood of people who aren't engaging in good faith, it can be very difficult to sift through it. Until we do so consistently enough where we can reasonably trust them,}}
{{quoteboxorange|there has to be [[Money|some way to verify that you're engaging in good faith]], or at least that it's more likely than not. I apologize if you really were engaging in good faith and we weren't able to trust it. To be honest, though, from the way you're engaging now, I think it's very unlikely that you are.}}
{{quoteboxorange|I hope someday this isn't an issue and there can be a strong and trusting community around her work at large, but sadly, the way things have panned out, there's some work we have to do to get there. I appreciate the trust she and most of the community have placed in me, and I hope to live up to it.}}

Chris liked the above four posts by Paymo.

==JCWCSP Cameo Q&A (Chris & Paymo)==
7 September 
2:36 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|@[[Philip Paymo|philippaymo.bsky.social]] compiled this short Q&A for me. Thank you. 
⚡️💙⚡️

[''Posts link to [[JCWCSP Cameo Q&A]].'']}}

On Twitter, the word "short" is removed and Paymo's handle is replaced with "Philip Paymo".

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=3:43 PM|Thank you for the credit! It was a pleasure to work on this!}}

Chris liked the above post.

==Paymo warns Chris against another orbiter==
7 September

Posted on Bluesky. [[Philip Paymo]] replies to Chris's previous post but gets no public reply from him.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=5:54 PM|Do you mind if I ask for your input on whether @ajlsonichu.bsky.social is trustworthy? She messaged me earlier today saying she's talked with you before and she seems fine from my talking to her, but I just want to make sure there's no bad history there before I continue talking with her to be safe.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=6:28 PM|We talked further and she tried to share what was clearly meant to be a private e-mail with me that you sent her, so I guess that answers the question. I blocked her, and I suggest you keep an eye on her in the future.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:36 PM|You have no expectation of privacy when you're violating someone else's behind their back.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:46 PM|If you don't want me to "expose" you, don't do something that needs to be exposed in the first place.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:49 PM|I would've been more than happy to trust you if you acted like someone worth trusting. I wish you were, and I genuinely don't understand what made you think it was okay to send something like that unprompted.}}

{{quoteboxred|speaker=N/A|[''Post not found'']}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=7:55 PM|I have no intentions of "getting close with her" because I want to learn about private information. To any extent I'm "close" with Christine, it's because I'm happy to help her with her work and I like occasionally shooting the breeze with her as a friend. The fact that you see her like someone to}}
{{quoteboxorange|"win over" like that is frankly disturbing to me, and tells me a lot more about your intentions than anything else ever could. I can absolutely impose too much at times or get too parasocial, but I recognize that as my own flaw to work on, it's not my goal like it apparently is for you.}}
{{quoteboxorange|The fact that you're still demonizing her for things she hasn't done in years at this point also says a lot.}}

==Paymo admits to being CwcvilleGuardian2009 (Paymo)==
8 September

Posted on Bluesky. In leaked DMs with the fake [[Geno Samuel]] Bluesky account, [[Philip Paymo]] claims to have been behind the "CwcvilleGuardian2009" YouTube channel which Chris wanted taken down after he had been exposed to it on a livestream. Paymo denies being behind the Auli call however.

The CWCki editor Master has not claimed or accused Paymo was behind the call and was describing the matter as speculative on the CWCki.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Geno Samuel (genosamuel.bsky.social)|time=1:54 PM|Usually y'all know I prefer not to interfere with Chris Chan's personal affairs (unless there's money involved), but it simply felt wrong to turn a blind eye to this. Philip Paymo (@philippaymo.bsky.social) is unfortunately a bad actor to Chris behind the scenes. He keeps getting caught in his lies. 
[[File:genosamuel-philippaymo DMs.png|200px]]
}}
{{quoteboxgreen|If you see an amateur AI video involving @cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social on YouTube, it is likely the work of this troublemaking troll.

(From [[CWCki]])

Be the better man, Philip, and admit to your lies before you bury yourself deeper. We can only hope Philip would be forgiven by Goddess Christine. 
[''Posts screencap of the CWCki.'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:15 PM|Dude, is it true that you're lying my guy?? See the post above me @philippaymo.bsky.social, but Geno Samuel on Bluesky said that Philip Paymo is actually a troll to Chris Chan and not actually a good faith fan?? Please prove this wrong}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:20 PM|The account above is a [[Geno Samuel]] impersonator.

As I explained in the included message, I've never done anything with the intent to harass, troll, or willfully impersonate anyone in this community, and I take issue with anyone who uses my content, past or present, to do so.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:23 PM|But he posted that the CWCki says it is you. Because one of the editors is accusing you of using several alt accounts which you partially admit to there? Also, i swear that i remember seeing that chris was following geno on here, so are you sure?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:28 PM|I have no interest in what the CWCki says about me.

Here's Christine's latest word on the above account: [''Posts link to [[March 2026 social media posts#Calling out ween impersonating Geno Samuel|an earlier post by Chris]]'']}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:32 PM|Oh shit. Well, bad intentions or not, they do seem worth addressing? The coincidental account deletions, also both of those things being donated to chris before, you have donated to chris before too..? and someone said are u faking being trans, voice in this video..? <nowiki>www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC7VjvKulxs</nowiki>}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:36 PM|What specifically are you expecting me to say? If you don't want to believe that I haven't been behind any harassment, I don't know what else to tell you.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|speaker=kaelynnism.bsky.social|time=2:39 PM|Well did you put fillers on your voice or something because someone said it sounds biologically male (their words, not mine) while you are saying to be FtM, I dont mean to offend..}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=2:40 PM|lol okay}}

At 3:30 PM, Paymo blocked kaelynnism.bsky.social.

==Deltarune Reference (Paymo)==
9 September

Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=hepburnian.bsky.social|time=5:33 PM|Mr. Paymo, what does "Make them Ring" mean? Are they bells? Do you wish to be so famous and revered that bells ring every time you are seen outside?}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|It's a Deltarune reference.}}

==Rule of thumb (Paymo)==
9 September

Paymo assumedly calls out [[Kiwi Farms]] and the CWCki. Posted to Paymo's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:27 PM|As a rule of thumb: any website that presents everything you do in the worst manner possible is not worth its salt.}}

{{quoteboxorange|speaker=Philip Paymo|time=8:29 PM|I won't be responding to any further drama or questions about my past relationship with my clients.}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 09]]

Chris and health

2026-09-08T02:34:54Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Hygiene */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life, illustrated prior to his identifying as [[transgender]].]]

[[Image:Chrissy's Tombstone.png|thumb|A more realistic outlook on the near future.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health''' – physically or mentally. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], and [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], he has a high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

Compounding matters is Chris's habit of applying [[magical thinking]] to matters of health concerns, believing that someone's seizures and hallucinations are a sign of developing psychic powers<ref>[[The Place chats (October 2020)#Chaotic Rainbow Clues and Genderbent Dimension]]</ref> and that he could recover from a high heart rate simply by mental command.<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref>

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Chris and nutrition}}

Put simply, Chris is a fatty. Unfortunately, he continues to deny this fact, and often lies that he cooks for himself often. Chris's diet actually consists largely of fast food from [[McDonald's]], which is admittedly not unlike the diet of many Americans. He claims to usually only eat fast food salads, but the caloric content of the salads often exceeds that of fast food burgers after adding the sauce that comes with them. His diet contributes in large part to many of his health issues, as well as his [[Financhu Crisis|financial problems]].

After spending three months in [[Western State Hospital]], his mugshot upon returning to jail on 3 [[May 2022]] revealed him to have lost a significant amount of weight. This is likely due to Chris being completely unable to beg for money to spend on junk food. However, since his release from jail in 2023, he has quickly ballooned back to his former obesity.

==Hydration and water consumption==
{{main|Chris and nutrition#Hydration and water consumption}}

Up until 2020, Chris's water consumption was incredibly low, and his primary fluid consumption consisted mainly of carbonated drinks, as revealed by [[Chris]] having 8,000 [[My Coke Rewards]] points. For reference, buying and redeeming a 36-can pack of Coke is only equivalent to 25 points. This data point gives Christorians a metric in determining the amount of soda that Chris had actually consumed. In fact, it is estimated that between the 6th of [[March 2007]] and the 4th of [[September 2009]], Chris drank around 2,500 bottles of Coca-Cola.

Chris's heavy consumption of carbonated beverages is also illustrated in a video in [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|2009]], wherein Chris creates his infamous 'Semen Flavored Fanta' at the request of [[Ivy]]. Chris believed that in consuming his own reproductive fluids, he could 'recycle' his semen and protect his fertility, as he likely thought men were subject to the female factoid of being "born with all of their eggs they'll ever have". The belief in this concept alone gives Christorians great insight into Chris's incorrect view of not only biology, but of how consumption of food and beverages works in the human body.

Contrary to his previous practices, it seems that after 2020, Chris's water consumption has increased as he has often been seen with a ''Glaceau'' water bottle. However, as early as [[January 2018]], [[Chris]] expressed a favoring of water<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Water]]</ref> Inside said bottle is an [[Magic stones|amethyst crystal]] which Chris believes heals him and 'recharges' his powers, as he believes the powers from the crystal are transferred into the water. This may be derived from the ancient Greeks, who believed that amethyst could protect its owner from drunkenness and that drinking vessels made from it would prevent intoxication.

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts with the dark background of his room while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. Chris never seemed to show interest in actual exergaming titles, such as ''Dance Dance Revolution'' or ''Wii Fit''. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, he is capable of dancing in place for over seven minutes in [[WelcometoBollywood]]. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of ''Minute Maid'' lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it have come to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely [[Kick the Autistic|have his ass handed to him]].

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point, he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and has to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's downright pathetic musculature may at least partially stem from [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]] (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Bicycling===
Chris has owned several bicycles over the course of his life, but it is unknown if he ever rode any of them regularly. The most recent one was lost in the hoard sometime before [[2010]]. Chris has made the occasional reference to biking over the years:

* In [[Kacey Call 18]], he claims to have a scar above his left breast from a bicycle accident he had when he was about five to seven years old.
* Chris received a bike as a [[Christmas]] present in [[1990s|1995]].
* In his [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]], Chris claims that he always wears a helmet when he rides a bike.
* In [[Jackie Chat 6]], [[Jackie]] asks Chris to make a video of himself riding his bike. Chris claims that his bike is buried among junk and that he can no longer access it.

{{Wise|he would need to begin exercising regularly in spring [[2018]] for him to be in shape while in [[CWCville]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Gym]]</ref>}}

===Anytime Fitness===
{{main|Anytime Fitness}}
At the manipulation of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris began exercising and going to the gym. He was [[ban]]ned from an Anytime Fitness branch, due to a combination of complaints from fellow gym-goers about Chris being gassy, and [[weens]] harassing the gym. Chris later claimed he was still going to another branch. Chris has given no further updates on his gym membership.

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Nature walk]]</ref>}}
[[File:Dead fitbit.jpeg|thumb|Chris's [[Fitbit]]]]

The exercise habit from the Idea Guys stuck with Chris temporarily, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and his mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his [[Region 10]] support group.<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts#Magic stones]]</ref> In [[December 2018]], he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

In 2018, Chris tried to sell a [[Fitbit]] activity tracker. However, no one bought it, and he kept using it.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> He did 23,000 steps on a [[Walking to the post office|walk to the post office and back]]. In January 2019, he released his Fitbit info to the [[Brony Babes]] group. Eventually, though, Chris gave up on walking, mostly using the Fitbit to [[biological clock|monitor his sleep]].<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

In [[March 2021]] in a conversation on [[The Place]],<ref>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Ivy Creek]]</ref> Chris stated he had visited the Ivy Creek Natural Area, a 219 acre nature reserve,<ref>https://ivycreekfoundation.org/</ref> and did a lap of its walking track, as well as meditating on a rock. Ivy Creek has several trails ranging from 2.5 kilometers (1.6 miles) in length to just 200 meters (0.1 mile). It is unclear which trail Chris took.

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

===Exercise in Jail===

According to [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Eels and the Eggman)|a few]] [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|jail letters]], Chris's primary means of exercise in jail is playing basketball in the recreation room. However, a letter from a Twitter fan known as "Eels and the Egg-man" also shows that he was restricted from the recreation room, though Chris has not disclosed the reason for this. Any other potential means of exercise for Chris in jail are yet to be revealed.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]]. Note the pale orange-red staining on the [[ShowerClean|improperly cleaned]] tiles, suggesting a case of a ''[[wikipedia:Serratia marcescens|Serratia marcescens]]'' bacterial colony, a type of bacteria capable of causing everything from urinary tract infections to meningitis, along with some yummy black mold in between the tiles.]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [https://web.archive.org/web/20140702004100/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of Sonichu's Axe usage, she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them, Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and, as such, doesn't get them dirty, allowing him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cameras|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already was.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents), and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

A 2020 tweet suggested that Chris wears the [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] in the shower.<ref>[[June_2020_social_media_posts#medallions]]</ref> [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]] are both porous when hardened, and as such, the medallion will absorb grime such as soap scum and skin cells when Chris showers with it. The medallion has also grown more and more filthy and discolored due to contact with hot water.

Chris stated in a [[November 2021]] that he was highly encouraged to shower daily with Bob Barker or Irish Spring soap, a towel, and shampoo, while in jail, bringing hope that Chris's hygiene improved drastically at the time. Chris claimed that he was "VERY clean".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized [[Respectable frames|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's Log, Stardate February_10th, 2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

Chris may also suffer from [[facial blindness]]. This may exacerbate some of his current health issues, because there are indications that he legitimately cannot see the way his unhealthy lifestyle has affected his appearance, thus removing an incentive to change.

One of Chris's half-brothers, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|abuse of a black-market drug]] for the latter.

==Hearing and speech==
''Main article: [[Speech impediment]]''

Little is known about the current state of Chris's hearing, but the [[Autism papers]] said he suffered from high-frequency hearing loss in early childhood. Chris has also exhibited signs of tone-deafness; his [[music]]al performances show little semblance of melody at all.

Chris is known for his [[Speech impediment|unusual way of talking]], which goes beyond just having a Southern accent. He mixes up, clutters, and substitutes sounds regularly. He also often talks quickly and slurs his words, and when he doesn't, his voice takes on a staccato rhythm. His voice itself is a very severe deformity, ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year-old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[autism]] is a lack of variation in speech, such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far-from-normal voice: autists often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone.

In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than in his later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact that he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery sometime later in his life.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]] and poor dental hygiene.

In a [[June 2021]] chat, Chris mentioned that he had an appointment for a root canal and for prep work to install a crown on one of his back teeth.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Dental appointment]]</ref>

In a [[November 2024]] tweet, Chris wrote that he had two missing teeth, which had been broken and then extracted. He mentioned needing $11,000 for "transplants" (apparently confusing the term with implants).<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Dental and financial situation]]</ref>

On 29 [[March 2025]], Chris did a livestream and said that he wanted at least $50 in donations because of his dental situation.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough]]</ref> He also claimed that he brushes his teeth twice daily with an electric toothbrush.

On 17 [[May 2025]], Chris did a livestream and revealed that he finally got the implants for his broken teeth.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough Part 3]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]], had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher risk of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured had begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he had hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris's prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regimen, although he has been drinking more water recently, due to his belief that putting a crystal in his water bottle will give him magical powers.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris's blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#High cholesterol]]</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim]]</ref>. However, it turned out to have been a case of heartburn - [[Doctor McGovern]] referred to it as a gastro issue and advised taking Tums.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic11.jpg]]</ref>

In [[September 2019]] during a chat in [[The Place]], Chris revealed his blood pressure monitor read at "Level One Hypertension".<ref>[[The Place chats - Ben Saint]]</ref> If this is correct that would mean Chris' cardiovascular health had declined rather rapidly in only a few months since the [[January 2019]] blood pressure screening<ref>[[https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/high-blood-pressure/understanding-blood-pressure-readings]]</ref>. To remedy this Chris performed [[Meditation|meditation]] as well as purchasing potassium supplements and [[Chris and nutrition|one salad]]. It is unknown whether Chris made any long-term changes to his diet.

In [[September 2020]], during a conversation in The Place, Chris complained of "blood pressure spikes". Due to Chris being generally [[autism|incompetent]], it is unclear whether these were heart palpitations or genuine blood pressure spikes. Either explanation is a reasonable possibility given the medical information he previously provided. Chris also revealed he was on [[Chris and drugs|4 prescription medicines]], any of which may cause symptoms that Chris could mistake for a blood pressure spike.

Thirteen days after his complaints of blood pressure spikes, Chris messaged The Place complaining of dimensional disturbances, "jarring heart rate to high numbers". At the request of [[Kyle]], Chris states that the heart rate spikes have caused "brief disable and paralysis". It's revealed by Chris that his heart rate read higher than 93bpm at one point during this episode<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Blood Pressure Spikes]]</ref>. A few days later, Chris complained of a high heart rate. At [[Hurtful Truth Level|hedgehog]]'s suggestion, Chris saw Doctor McGovern about this ailment,<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref> receiving an EKG scan and a standard checkup. He stated that his doctor "expressed some perplexed emotions and feelings" but "essentially played it off as foreseen"... [[CWC-isms|whatever that means]].<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Doctor Visit]]</ref>

==Excretory health==
{{main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Piss}}

Chris has had a long history of fecal incontinence. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

Chris also has a history of urinary tract infections, despite the condition being uncommon in men.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris revealed that he put soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|Quite a stirring coincidence.]]

[[Chris and mental healthcare|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because [[autism]] isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various [[trolls]] pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation, and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into [[debt]] to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered, and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an inability to recognize people's faces, a medical condition formally known as [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia]] and informally known as [[facial blindness]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca, and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140825091156/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Chris and his ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>[[Chris's letter to Cathy Weseluck]]</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stressed from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}
[[File:Jailart8-28-3.jpg|thumb|A piece of [[OfficialCWCmart Jail Art|Jail Art]] in which Chris spergs about prophecies.]]
An employee at Earthbound Trading Co. had stated that when Chris was at their store, he was mumbling and talking about things in the store <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/comment/jm4r5br/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3</ref>, so judging by that, he's not doing so well.

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 35° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref name=houseclean></ref> Oestrogel has several health risks such as but not limited to; fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref name=houseclean>[[August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning]]</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill but failed to connect the dots and see that taking overdoses of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of [[Solaray Female Hormone Blend SP-7C]] in [[August 2016]], which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (MasterDisaster)#Fenugreek Seeds]]</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that, considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing, which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more of a hassle than it was worth and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://archive.md/KbKpe</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In [[January 2017]], Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Sickness==
[[Image:Sick CWC.png|thumb|Chris, under the weather.]]

On 4 [[March 2009]], Chris revealed in a video that he has been suffering from a bug.<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Video]]</ref> Chris's voice is noticeably different. He later told everyone to give [[BlueSpike]] a cold virus if ever encountered in public,<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Epilogue]]</ref> though he retracted it hours later.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> Later in the day, Chris would say in a [[Mumble]] chat that he has been having a "sinus infection, and possibly also a cold," and that he's been having plenty of [[Fanta|orange juice]] and chicken noodle soup.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> In another Mumble chat the following day, Chris claimed he had last checked his temperature earlier in the day, reading 96.8° (presumably Fahrenheit).<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref> Chris claims that he will [[Love Quest#Returning to real life|go outside to meet women locally]] as soon as he gets over the virus. Chris would later be spotted out of the house for [[Chris and religion|church service]] on 15 March.<ref>[[Church Visit]]</ref>

Chris got sick again a few months later in early [[July 2009]], having a "virus in [his] throat." He appears and sounds ill during the [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Larry Bundy Jr. interview]], having a few moments of coughing and a noticeable bug bite on his forehead. Chris mentions "taking it easy," and that he had been consuming ice cream, lemonade, tea, and orange juice. He also drinks {{w|root beer}} during the interview, a carbonated beverage which likely only worsened his inflammation.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

On 15 [[January 2011]], in an email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris admitted to lying about being sick to avoid fulfilling supposed promises he had made.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref> However, Chris did claim to have suffered from [[stress]]-induced stomachaches and a runny nose from crying due to a [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest|family conflict]]. In mid-[[2014]], Chris answered on [[OkCupid]] that he often or would ''never'' call in sick to [[work]] or [[school]] when he is not actually ill.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#LevelUpKing profile]]</ref>

On 6 [[February 2011]], in another email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris retold his week, talking about getting antibiotics for a bladder infection:
{{quotebox|<nowiki>The past week has been fair, but half-weak at the end. The past few days, I have been enduring the pains of a bladder/urinary infection. I saw my doctor, and he prescribed some antibotics for me. It was Thursday night when it started; I felt burning pains at my pee-hole; I only got about less than four hours of sleep at first. The pains kept me awake. Then I awoke at 3AM, and after one set of short excretions (#1) sitting on the john, I found a bit of blood in the water.</nowiki>

I called for the doctor appointment at about 9:00AM. I have been forced to remain at home on the sound experience from my mother, who has had similar experiences and similar antibiotic prescription, that I would feel weighed down and stuck at home for a number of days.

Friday, it was obvious that I felt soo tired, but I mustered the energy to see the doctor, and pick up my prescription after an hourly wait at my local CVS. I arrived back home at about near 2:45 PM; I took my first antibiotic pill, and [[crash into slumber|crashed on the couch for an appreciated number of hours of less pain-interrupting sleep]]; I awoke later at about 10:20 PM.

Mom has been most helpful and caring to me during the time. After awaking, I felt some mild headaches (I had worse headaches during Friday afternoon as well), and I felt afraid that if I raised myself up, it would get worse for me.

<nowiki>Thankfully my mother came in for a visit and talked to me; I eventually mustered the energy to get up with minimal pain. Then I went to the bathroom for #1; less burning, but I felt pain during excretion and had to make more effort to push it out. Then after flushing and washing my hands, I returned to my couch and my mother. She brought me a carton of orange juice and a carton of chocolate soy milk. The vitamins from both have been helpful.</nowiki><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|As for my ailment, today I have felt better, surprisingly the antibiotics didn't weigh me down, or so I thought. I had overslept and missed [[church]], but this afternoon I went out, got some tea with lemonade (an "Arnold Palmer", LOL) and something to eat. After eating, I felt the blood going to my gut worse than I had felt it before (probably the side-effect of the Antibiotics); I marched forward to take a walk around [[Wal-Mart]] for a while. A later Aftershock gut pain shortened the walk, so I drove myself back home to my couch with my full big cup of tea. And now I type you this message.

Depending on how I feel in due time, I plan on going to the Valentine's Dance at the Key Center on the 12th (this coming Saturday), but that's still a wait-and-see.

I feel need to back off for now, but I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe, Dearest

Love,

Christian.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}

On 6 [[December 2011]], Chris claims that he is sick in a voicemail message,<ref>[[Voicemail greeting#6 December 2011]]</ref> possibly due to the bug infestation at [[14 Branchland Court]] around that time.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> On 17 December, Chris mentioned he is still recovering from "sickness and emotions."<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Lost Inspiration for Sonichu]]</ref>

On 17 [[October 2016]], Chris would make a post on [[Facebook]] saying he has a cold in his "throats":
{{quotebox|Well, I have a cold in my throats at its worst yesterday and today. Chicken Noodle Soup, fluids and rest for me today.

Have a good and safe day.<ref>[[October 2016 Facebook posts#Chris has a cold]]</ref>}}
The following day, Chris would upload a [[I'm sick; we need money donations; no video requests for a while|video begging for money and saying he is sick]]. Chris mumbles that he cannot raise his voice above a whisper and claims he hasn't been able to for three days. He also says he has been enjoying chicken noodle soup, but he is running low on both soup and money. Chris presumably took a break from paid video requests due to the cold in his throat.

On 21 [[December 2016]], Chris would make a post claiming that he is feeling a burning in his sinus, and provided some wisdom:
{{quotebox|Nugget of wisdom: You work and stress often, you leave yourself vulnerable to a virus. A stressful life is not a healthy one, and I feel for you if your life is a constantly stressful one beyond your own control. Ugh.<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#A nugget of wisdom]]</ref>}}

On 15 [[February 2017]], Chris posted to [[Facebook]] that he was feeling sick:
{{quotebox|I feel like a cold virus is hitting me down. Scratchy throat and coughs with mild chest pain. Not to mention the dizzy feeling from a leveled-up vertigo spell. I have soup and Tussim DM; I'll recover soon. Thank you.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Feeling sick]]</ref>}} The following day, Chris would upload a video of himself [[A browsing around an ol' playground|taking a walk around a playground in Harrisonburg, Virginia]], including a short video intro message from a sick Chris. On 18 February, Chris would mention in a post about how the cold is still bothering him:
{{quotebox|Six Days to until I hit the big 3, 5. And this cold is a pain itself to me right now. Not to mention the [[stress|stresses]] I have to face in my life.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>}}
On 21 February, he would post that he is "feeling some better."<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>

On 7 [[December 2019]], Chris would post about pain and a "possible virus" he is experiencing, claiming it is "very serious":
{{quotebox|Night last troubling still me. Up shook I not am only still. Virus possible. Rest need I. Bed in I am.

Else to everyone, want laugh you all; this serious is very.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|Night last you I told last while long will stress this.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
When asked if he was okay or if something had happened, Chris replied:
{{quotebox|...Feel Well I Not. Rest Need I. Hurts Head. ...... UTI up acting. P waiting to. Know feeling not I well am. Yes, recover I be will. Super Stressed Ears Pachirisu Round Face to got me. E-mail received [[Dimensions#R-687|#ProjectSNT]] vent with. Expected Courtney did than better that I. Napkin. ⚡️💙⚡️<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
Chris would give out updates on the virus/cold on the following couple of days.
9 December update:
{{quotebox|Cold Virus update: my voice is shot. That grinds my gears and pisses me off. Continuing on with simple rest, meditation, positivity maintenance, and taking medicine, vitamins, enjoying chicken noodle soup, and drinking lots of water.

Making a kettle of tea with fresh lemon juice. I’ll enjoy it hot from the ol’ mug of my father’s.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
10 December update:
{{quotebox|Good morning. I am still recovering, the virus is being stupid, but I’m psychically pushing it away, yet it decided to attack my throat again. At least my voice is not shot again.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
12 December update:
{{quotebox|Hey, y’all. Update on this cold: it’s giving me nasal problems now, and it still lingers in the throat. It does not feel as bad as earlier.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris explains his triggering]]</ref>}}
13 December update:
{{Quotebox|Cold update: my throat is no longer feeling soar and my nose is feeling less leaky; feeling pretty good right now. 😊<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Cold update]]</ref>}}
On 19 December, Chris mentioned his sickness again on [[Discord]] at [[The Place]] when discussing [[ProjectSNT]]:
{{quotebox|Hey, @everyone. I’ve been mostly offline for the while now. Waring Down a sinus infection now. What is the current status on y’all’s part? Also, has Courtney responded to any of you all?<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#More Seething Towards SNT]]</ref>}}
On 24 December, Chris would post that his sinus infection is gone.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris is cured]]</ref>

On 12 [[February 2020]], Chris posted about being sick and experiencing nasal blockage:
{{quotebox|Happy Birthday, #TaraStrong!

Your day is better than mine right now; enjoy your day.

(This cold virus hit me a bit more, but at least it’s not as much in my throat now. ¡Hola!, nasal blockage).

[[File:EQlc94RXUAAQb8A.jpeg|300px]]

But, yes, even Deities can get sick.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Fresh Live Stream 2]]</ref>}}

Despite taking the [[COVID-19]] vaccine twice,<ref>[[COVID-19#Vaccination]]</ref> Chris still caught the virus (five times according to Chris)<ref>[[February_2024_livestreams#Round_2_-_Media_Share_Suggestion_Live_Stream]]</ref>. On 5 [[February 2022]], while in jail, Chris tested positive for COVID-19. Chris journaled updates spanning several days about his current condition in his [[Goddess Logs]]. In [[November 2025]], Chris suspected that he had gotten the virus again and posted about his "experience" "identifying" it.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Covid repeat]]</ref>

Chris's [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]] reveal that he prefers having company when sick rather than being left alone, and he only likes being read to aloud when he is sick.

==Body Tremors==
In [[November 2020]] in a chat on [[The Place chats (November 2020)|The Place]] Chris posted the following message:

{{quoteboxyellow|speaker = Chris (as Sonichu)|time = 04:23 PM|@everyone, this is a Red Alert. I am sensing a major problem arising. This body is shaking quite a bit right now, and I am doing my best to keep it stable.}}

Obviously, this is not a sign of the [[Dimensional Merge]] as Chris believes, but rather is likely due to his [[McDonald's|high-sodium diet]] and poor [[Biological clock|sleep schedule]]. Chris goes on to explain he had only gotten 2 hours of sleep that night, and [[Kyle]] attempts to figure out whether Chris just had a stroke or a seizure, all while Chris, uninterested, talks about the Dimensional Merge.

During this episode, Chris' shakes lasted from 4:23 PM at the time of the first message to 5:06 PM when he advised The Place they had stopped.

Chris also admitted in a [[March 2021]] conversation on [[The Place chats (March 2021)|The Place]] that he had suffered from [[CWC-isms|"body quakes"]]. In his infinite wisdom, Chris blamed this on the [[Dimensional Merge]] and "feeling massively strong energies" rather than his incredibly poor diet, lack of exercise, and being 40-odd years old. When [[The WCT|the WCT]] asked Chris if the "body quakes" were painful, he responded that they were "only mildly, more of an annoyance". Chris, of course, did not see a doctor about this.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

{{References}}

{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and health

2026-09-08T02:27:45Z

FullNameUnknown: Added Chris's tombstone. No he's not dead yet. Soon maybe though.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life, illustrated prior to his identifying as [[transgender]].]]

[[Image:Chrissy's Tombstone.png|thumb|A more realistic outlook on the near future.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health''' – physically or mentally. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], and [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], he has a high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

Compounding matters is Chris's habit of applying [[magical thinking]] to matters of health concerns, believing that someone's seizures and hallucinations are a sign of developing psychic powers<ref>[[The Place chats (October 2020)#Chaotic Rainbow Clues and Genderbent Dimension]]</ref> and that he could recover from a high heart rate simply by mental command.<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref>

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Chris and nutrition}}

Put simply, Chris is a fatty. Unfortunately, he continues to deny this fact, and often lies that he cooks for himself often. Chris's diet actually consists largely of fast food from [[McDonald's]], which is admittedly not unlike the diet of many Americans. He claims to usually only eat fast food salads, but the caloric content of the salads often exceeds that of fast food burgers after adding the sauce that comes with them. His diet contributes in large part to many of his health issues, as well as his [[Financhu Crisis|financial problems]].

After spending three months in [[Western State Hospital]], his mugshot upon returning to jail on 3 [[May 2022]] revealed him to have lost a significant amount of weight. This is likely due to Chris being completely unable to beg for money to spend on junk food. However, since his release from jail in 2023, he has quickly ballooned back to his former obesity.

==Hydration and water consumption==
{{main|Chris and nutrition#Hydration and water consumption}}

Up until 2020, Chris's water consumption was incredibly low, and his primary fluid consumption consisted mainly of carbonated drinks, as revealed by [[Chris]] having 8,000 [[My Coke Rewards]] points. For reference, buying and redeeming a 36-can pack of Coke is only equivalent to 25 points. This data point gives Christorians a metric in determining the amount of soda that Chris had actually consumed. In fact, it is estimated that between the 6th of [[March 2007]] and the 4th of [[September 2009]], Chris drank around 2,500 bottles of Coca-Cola.

Chris's heavy consumption of carbonated beverages is also illustrated in a video in [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|2009]], wherein Chris creates his infamous 'Semen Flavored Fanta' at the request of [[Ivy]]. Chris believed that in consuming his own reproductive fluids, he could 'recycle' his semen and protect his fertility, as he likely thought men were subject to the female factoid of being "born with all of their eggs they'll ever have". The belief in this concept alone gives Christorians great insight into Chris's incorrect view of not only biology, but of how consumption of food and beverages works in the human body.

Contrary to his previous practices, it seems that after 2020, Chris's water consumption has increased as he has often been seen with a ''Glaceau'' water bottle. However, as early as [[January 2018]], [[Chris]] expressed a favoring of water<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Water]]</ref> Inside said bottle is an [[Magic stones|amethyst crystal]] which Chris believes heals him and 'recharges' his powers, as he believes the powers from the crystal are transferred into the water. This may be derived from the ancient Greeks, who believed that amethyst could protect its owner from drunkenness and that drinking vessels made from it would prevent intoxication.

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts with the dark background of his room while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. Chris never seemed to show interest in actual exergaming titles, such as ''Dance Dance Revolution'' or ''Wii Fit''. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, he is capable of dancing in place for over seven minutes in [[WelcometoBollywood]]. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of ''Minute Maid'' lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it have come to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely [[Kick the Autistic|have his ass handed to him]].

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point, he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and has to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's downright pathetic musculature may at least partially stem from [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]] (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Bicycling===
Chris has owned several bicycles over the course of his life, but it is unknown if he ever rode any of them regularly. The most recent one was lost in the hoard sometime before [[2010]]. Chris has made the occasional reference to biking over the years:

* In [[Kacey Call 18]], he claims to have a scar above his left breast from a bicycle accident he had when he was about five to seven years old.
* Chris received a bike as a [[Christmas]] present in [[1990s|1995]].
* In his [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]], Chris claims that he always wears a helmet when he rides a bike.
* In [[Jackie Chat 6]], [[Jackie]] asks Chris to make a video of himself riding his bike. Chris claims that his bike is buried among junk and that he can no longer access it.

{{Wise|he would need to begin exercising regularly in spring [[2018]] for him to be in shape while in [[CWCville]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Gym]]</ref>}}

===Anytime Fitness===
{{main|Anytime Fitness}}
At the manipulation of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris began exercising and going to the gym. He was [[ban]]ned from an Anytime Fitness branch, due to a combination of complaints from fellow gym-goers about Chris being gassy, and [[weens]] harassing the gym. Chris later claimed he was still going to another branch. Chris has given no further updates on his gym membership.

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Nature walk]]</ref>}}
[[File:Dead fitbit.jpeg|thumb|Chris's [[Fitbit]]]]

The exercise habit from the Idea Guys stuck with Chris temporarily, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and his mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his [[Region 10]] support group.<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts#Magic stones]]</ref> In [[December 2018]], he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

In 2018, Chris tried to sell a [[Fitbit]] activity tracker. However, no one bought it, and he kept using it.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> He did 23,000 steps on a [[Walking to the post office|walk to the post office and back]]. In January 2019, he released his Fitbit info to the [[Brony Babes]] group. Eventually, though, Chris gave up on walking, mostly using the Fitbit to [[biological clock|monitor his sleep]].<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

In [[March 2021]] in a conversation on [[The Place]],<ref>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Ivy Creek]]</ref> Chris stated he had visited the Ivy Creek Natural Area, a 219 acre nature reserve,<ref>https://ivycreekfoundation.org/</ref> and did a lap of its walking track, as well as meditating on a rock. Ivy Creek has several trails ranging from 2.5 kilometers (1.6 miles) in length to just 200 meters (0.1 mile). It is unclear which trail Chris took.

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

===Exercise in Jail===

According to [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Eels and the Eggman)|a few]] [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|jail letters]], Chris's primary means of exercise in jail is playing basketball in the recreation room. However, a letter from a Twitter fan known as "Eels and the Egg-man" also shows that he was restricted from the recreation room, though Chris has not disclosed the reason for this. Any other potential means of exercise for Chris in jail are yet to be revealed.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]]. Note the pale orange-red staining on the [[ShowerClean|improperly cleaned]] tiles, suggesting a case of a ''[[wikipedia:Serratia marcescens|Serratia marcescens]]'' bacterial colony, a type of bacteria capable of causing everything from urinary tract infections to meningitis.]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [https://web.archive.org/web/20140702004100/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of Sonichu's Axe usage, she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them, Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and, as such, doesn't get them dirty, allowing him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cameras|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already was.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents), and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

A 2020 tweet suggested that Chris wears the [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] in the shower.<ref>[[June_2020_social_media_posts#medallions]]</ref> [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]] are both porous when hardened, and as such, the medallion will absorb grime such as soap scum and skin cells when Chris showers with it. The medallion has also grown more and more filthy and discolored due to contact with hot water.

Chris stated in a [[November 2021]] that he was highly encouraged to shower daily with Bob Barker or Irish Spring soap, a towel, and shampoo, while in jail, bringing hope that Chris's hygiene improved drastically at the time. Chris claimed that he was "VERY clean".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized [[Respectable frames|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's Log, Stardate February_10th, 2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

Chris may also suffer from [[facial blindness]]. This may exacerbate some of his current health issues, because there are indications that he legitimately cannot see the way his unhealthy lifestyle has affected his appearance, thus removing an incentive to change.

One of Chris's half-brothers, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|abuse of a black-market drug]] for the latter.

==Hearing and speech==
''Main article: [[Speech impediment]]''

Little is known about the current state of Chris's hearing, but the [[Autism papers]] said he suffered from high-frequency hearing loss in early childhood. Chris has also exhibited signs of tone-deafness; his [[music]]al performances show little semblance of melody at all.

Chris is known for his [[Speech impediment|unusual way of talking]], which goes beyond just having a Southern accent. He mixes up, clutters, and substitutes sounds regularly. He also often talks quickly and slurs his words, and when he doesn't, his voice takes on a staccato rhythm. His voice itself is a very severe deformity, ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year-old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[autism]] is a lack of variation in speech, such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far-from-normal voice: autists often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone.

In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than in his later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact that he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery sometime later in his life.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]] and poor dental hygiene.

In a [[June 2021]] chat, Chris mentioned that he had an appointment for a root canal and for prep work to install a crown on one of his back teeth.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Dental appointment]]</ref>

In a [[November 2024]] tweet, Chris wrote that he had two missing teeth, which had been broken and then extracted. He mentioned needing $11,000 for "transplants" (apparently confusing the term with implants).<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Dental and financial situation]]</ref>

On 29 [[March 2025]], Chris did a livestream and said that he wanted at least $50 in donations because of his dental situation.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough]]</ref> He also claimed that he brushes his teeth twice daily with an electric toothbrush.

On 17 [[May 2025]], Chris did a livestream and revealed that he finally got the implants for his broken teeth.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough Part 3]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]], had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher risk of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured had begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he had hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris's prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regimen, although he has been drinking more water recently, due to his belief that putting a crystal in his water bottle will give him magical powers.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris's blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#High cholesterol]]</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim]]</ref>. However, it turned out to have been a case of heartburn - [[Doctor McGovern]] referred to it as a gastro issue and advised taking Tums.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic11.jpg]]</ref>

In [[September 2019]] during a chat in [[The Place]], Chris revealed his blood pressure monitor read at "Level One Hypertension".<ref>[[The Place chats - Ben Saint]]</ref> If this is correct that would mean Chris' cardiovascular health had declined rather rapidly in only a few months since the [[January 2019]] blood pressure screening<ref>[[https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/high-blood-pressure/understanding-blood-pressure-readings]]</ref>. To remedy this Chris performed [[Meditation|meditation]] as well as purchasing potassium supplements and [[Chris and nutrition|one salad]]. It is unknown whether Chris made any long-term changes to his diet.

In [[September 2020]], during a conversation in The Place, Chris complained of "blood pressure spikes". Due to Chris being generally [[autism|incompetent]], it is unclear whether these were heart palpitations or genuine blood pressure spikes. Either explanation is a reasonable possibility given the medical information he previously provided. Chris also revealed he was on [[Chris and drugs|4 prescription medicines]], any of which may cause symptoms that Chris could mistake for a blood pressure spike.

Thirteen days after his complaints of blood pressure spikes, Chris messaged The Place complaining of dimensional disturbances, "jarring heart rate to high numbers". At the request of [[Kyle]], Chris states that the heart rate spikes have caused "brief disable and paralysis". It's revealed by Chris that his heart rate read higher than 93bpm at one point during this episode<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Blood Pressure Spikes]]</ref>. A few days later, Chris complained of a high heart rate. At [[Hurtful Truth Level|hedgehog]]'s suggestion, Chris saw Doctor McGovern about this ailment,<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref> receiving an EKG scan and a standard checkup. He stated that his doctor "expressed some perplexed emotions and feelings" but "essentially played it off as foreseen"... [[CWC-isms|whatever that means]].<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Doctor Visit]]</ref>

==Excretory health==
{{main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Piss}}

Chris has had a long history of fecal incontinence. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

Chris also has a history of urinary tract infections, despite the condition being uncommon in men.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris revealed that he put soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|Quite a stirring coincidence.]]

[[Chris and mental healthcare|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because [[autism]] isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various [[trolls]] pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation, and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into [[debt]] to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered, and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an inability to recognize people's faces, a medical condition formally known as [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia]] and informally known as [[facial blindness]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca, and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140825091156/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Chris and his ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>[[Chris's letter to Cathy Weseluck]]</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stressed from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}
[[File:Jailart8-28-3.jpg|thumb|A piece of [[OfficialCWCmart Jail Art|Jail Art]] in which Chris spergs about prophecies.]]
An employee at Earthbound Trading Co. had stated that when Chris was at their store, he was mumbling and talking about things in the store <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/comment/jm4r5br/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3</ref>, so judging by that, he's not doing so well.

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 35° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref name=houseclean></ref> Oestrogel has several health risks such as but not limited to; fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref name=houseclean>[[August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning]]</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill but failed to connect the dots and see that taking overdoses of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of [[Solaray Female Hormone Blend SP-7C]] in [[August 2016]], which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (MasterDisaster)#Fenugreek Seeds]]</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that, considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing, which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more of a hassle than it was worth and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://archive.md/KbKpe</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In [[January 2017]], Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Sickness==
[[Image:Sick CWC.png|thumb|Chris, under the weather.]]

On 4 [[March 2009]], Chris revealed in a video that he has been suffering from a bug.<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Video]]</ref> Chris's voice is noticeably different. He later told everyone to give [[BlueSpike]] a cold virus if ever encountered in public,<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Epilogue]]</ref> though he retracted it hours later.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> Later in the day, Chris would say in a [[Mumble]] chat that he has been having a "sinus infection, and possibly also a cold," and that he's been having plenty of [[Fanta|orange juice]] and chicken noodle soup.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> In another Mumble chat the following day, Chris claimed he had last checked his temperature earlier in the day, reading 96.8° (presumably Fahrenheit).<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref> Chris claims that he will [[Love Quest#Returning to real life|go outside to meet women locally]] as soon as he gets over the virus. Chris would later be spotted out of the house for [[Chris and religion|church service]] on 15 March.<ref>[[Church Visit]]</ref>

Chris got sick again a few months later in early [[July 2009]], having a "virus in [his] throat." He appears and sounds ill during the [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Larry Bundy Jr. interview]], having a few moments of coughing and a noticeable bug bite on his forehead. Chris mentions "taking it easy," and that he had been consuming ice cream, lemonade, tea, and orange juice. He also drinks {{w|root beer}} during the interview, a carbonated beverage which likely only worsened his inflammation.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

On 15 [[January 2011]], in an email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris admitted to lying about being sick to avoid fulfilling supposed promises he had made.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref> However, Chris did claim to have suffered from [[stress]]-induced stomachaches and a runny nose from crying due to a [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest|family conflict]]. In mid-[[2014]], Chris answered on [[OkCupid]] that he often or would ''never'' call in sick to [[work]] or [[school]] when he is not actually ill.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#LevelUpKing profile]]</ref>

On 6 [[February 2011]], in another email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris retold his week, talking about getting antibiotics for a bladder infection:
{{quotebox|<nowiki>The past week has been fair, but half-weak at the end. The past few days, I have been enduring the pains of a bladder/urinary infection. I saw my doctor, and he prescribed some antibotics for me. It was Thursday night when it started; I felt burning pains at my pee-hole; I only got about less than four hours of sleep at first. The pains kept me awake. Then I awoke at 3AM, and after one set of short excretions (#1) sitting on the john, I found a bit of blood in the water.</nowiki>

I called for the doctor appointment at about 9:00AM. I have been forced to remain at home on the sound experience from my mother, who has had similar experiences and similar antibiotic prescription, that I would feel weighed down and stuck at home for a number of days.

Friday, it was obvious that I felt soo tired, but I mustered the energy to see the doctor, and pick up my prescription after an hourly wait at my local CVS. I arrived back home at about near 2:45 PM; I took my first antibiotic pill, and [[crash into slumber|crashed on the couch for an appreciated number of hours of less pain-interrupting sleep]]; I awoke later at about 10:20 PM.

Mom has been most helpful and caring to me during the time. After awaking, I felt some mild headaches (I had worse headaches during Friday afternoon as well), and I felt afraid that if I raised myself up, it would get worse for me.

<nowiki>Thankfully my mother came in for a visit and talked to me; I eventually mustered the energy to get up with minimal pain. Then I went to the bathroom for #1; less burning, but I felt pain during excretion and had to make more effort to push it out. Then after flushing and washing my hands, I returned to my couch and my mother. She brought me a carton of orange juice and a carton of chocolate soy milk. The vitamins from both have been helpful.</nowiki><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|As for my ailment, today I have felt better, surprisingly the antibiotics didn't weigh me down, or so I thought. I had overslept and missed [[church]], but this afternoon I went out, got some tea with lemonade (an "Arnold Palmer", LOL) and something to eat. After eating, I felt the blood going to my gut worse than I had felt it before (probably the side-effect of the Antibiotics); I marched forward to take a walk around [[Wal-Mart]] for a while. A later Aftershock gut pain shortened the walk, so I drove myself back home to my couch with my full big cup of tea. And now I type you this message.

Depending on how I feel in due time, I plan on going to the Valentine's Dance at the Key Center on the 12th (this coming Saturday), but that's still a wait-and-see.

I feel need to back off for now, but I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe, Dearest

Love,

Christian.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}

On 6 [[December 2011]], Chris claims that he is sick in a voicemail message,<ref>[[Voicemail greeting#6 December 2011]]</ref> possibly due to the bug infestation at [[14 Branchland Court]] around that time.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> On 17 December, Chris mentioned he is still recovering from "sickness and emotions."<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Lost Inspiration for Sonichu]]</ref>

On 17 [[October 2016]], Chris would make a post on [[Facebook]] saying he has a cold in his "throats":
{{quotebox|Well, I have a cold in my throats at its worst yesterday and today. Chicken Noodle Soup, fluids and rest for me today.

Have a good and safe day.<ref>[[October 2016 Facebook posts#Chris has a cold]]</ref>}}
The following day, Chris would upload a [[I'm sick; we need money donations; no video requests for a while|video begging for money and saying he is sick]]. Chris mumbles that he cannot raise his voice above a whisper and claims he hasn't been able to for three days. He also says he has been enjoying chicken noodle soup, but he is running low on both soup and money. Chris presumably took a break from paid video requests due to the cold in his throat.

On 21 [[December 2016]], Chris would make a post claiming that he is feeling a burning in his sinus, and provided some wisdom:
{{quotebox|Nugget of wisdom: You work and stress often, you leave yourself vulnerable to a virus. A stressful life is not a healthy one, and I feel for you if your life is a constantly stressful one beyond your own control. Ugh.<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#A nugget of wisdom]]</ref>}}

On 15 [[February 2017]], Chris posted to [[Facebook]] that he was feeling sick:
{{quotebox|I feel like a cold virus is hitting me down. Scratchy throat and coughs with mild chest pain. Not to mention the dizzy feeling from a leveled-up vertigo spell. I have soup and Tussim DM; I'll recover soon. Thank you.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Feeling sick]]</ref>}} The following day, Chris would upload a video of himself [[A browsing around an ol' playground|taking a walk around a playground in Harrisonburg, Virginia]], including a short video intro message from a sick Chris. On 18 February, Chris would mention in a post about how the cold is still bothering him:
{{quotebox|Six Days to until I hit the big 3, 5. And this cold is a pain itself to me right now. Not to mention the [[stress|stresses]] I have to face in my life.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>}}
On 21 February, he would post that he is "feeling some better."<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>

On 7 [[December 2019]], Chris would post about pain and a "possible virus" he is experiencing, claiming it is "very serious":
{{quotebox|Night last troubling still me. Up shook I not am only still. Virus possible. Rest need I. Bed in I am.

Else to everyone, want laugh you all; this serious is very.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|Night last you I told last while long will stress this.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
When asked if he was okay or if something had happened, Chris replied:
{{quotebox|...Feel Well I Not. Rest Need I. Hurts Head. ...... UTI up acting. P waiting to. Know feeling not I well am. Yes, recover I be will. Super Stressed Ears Pachirisu Round Face to got me. E-mail received [[Dimensions#R-687|#ProjectSNT]] vent with. Expected Courtney did than better that I. Napkin. ⚡️💙⚡️<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
Chris would give out updates on the virus/cold on the following couple of days.
9 December update:
{{quotebox|Cold Virus update: my voice is shot. That grinds my gears and pisses me off. Continuing on with simple rest, meditation, positivity maintenance, and taking medicine, vitamins, enjoying chicken noodle soup, and drinking lots of water.

Making a kettle of tea with fresh lemon juice. I’ll enjoy it hot from the ol’ mug of my father’s.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
10 December update:
{{quotebox|Good morning. I am still recovering, the virus is being stupid, but I’m psychically pushing it away, yet it decided to attack my throat again. At least my voice is not shot again.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
12 December update:
{{quotebox|Hey, y’all. Update on this cold: it’s giving me nasal problems now, and it still lingers in the throat. It does not feel as bad as earlier.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris explains his triggering]]</ref>}}
13 December update:
{{Quotebox|Cold update: my throat is no longer feeling soar and my nose is feeling less leaky; feeling pretty good right now. 😊<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Cold update]]</ref>}}
On 19 December, Chris mentioned his sickness again on [[Discord]] at [[The Place]] when discussing [[ProjectSNT]]:
{{quotebox|Hey, @everyone. I’ve been mostly offline for the while now. Waring Down a sinus infection now. What is the current status on y’all’s part? Also, has Courtney responded to any of you all?<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#More Seething Towards SNT]]</ref>}}
On 24 December, Chris would post that his sinus infection is gone.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris is cured]]</ref>

On 12 [[February 2020]], Chris posted about being sick and experiencing nasal blockage:
{{quotebox|Happy Birthday, #TaraStrong!

Your day is better than mine right now; enjoy your day.

(This cold virus hit me a bit more, but at least it’s not as much in my throat now. ¡Hola!, nasal blockage).

[[File:EQlc94RXUAAQb8A.jpeg|300px]]

But, yes, even Deities can get sick.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Fresh Live Stream 2]]</ref>}}

Despite taking the [[COVID-19]] vaccine twice,<ref>[[COVID-19#Vaccination]]</ref> Chris still caught the virus (five times according to Chris)<ref>[[February_2024_livestreams#Round_2_-_Media_Share_Suggestion_Live_Stream]]</ref>. On 5 [[February 2022]], while in jail, Chris tested positive for COVID-19. Chris journaled updates spanning several days about his current condition in his [[Goddess Logs]]. In [[November 2025]], Chris suspected that he had gotten the virus again and posted about his "experience" "identifying" it.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Covid repeat]]</ref>

Chris's [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]] reveal that he prefers having company when sick rather than being left alone, and he only likes being read to aloud when he is sick.

==Body Tremors==
In [[November 2020]] in a chat on [[The Place chats (November 2020)|The Place]] Chris posted the following message:

{{quoteboxyellow|speaker = Chris (as Sonichu)|time = 04:23 PM|@everyone, this is a Red Alert. I am sensing a major problem arising. This body is shaking quite a bit right now, and I am doing my best to keep it stable.}}

Obviously, this is not a sign of the [[Dimensional Merge]] as Chris believes, but rather is likely due to his [[McDonald's|high-sodium diet]] and poor [[Biological clock|sleep schedule]]. Chris goes on to explain he had only gotten 2 hours of sleep that night, and [[Kyle]] attempts to figure out whether Chris just had a stroke or a seizure, all while Chris, uninterested, talks about the Dimensional Merge.

During this episode, Chris' shakes lasted from 4:23 PM at the time of the first message to 5:06 PM when he advised The Place they had stopped.

Chris also admitted in a [[March 2021]] conversation on [[The Place chats (March 2021)|The Place]] that he had suffered from [[CWC-isms|"body quakes"]]. In his infinite wisdom, Chris blamed this on the [[Dimensional Merge]] and "feeling massively strong energies" rather than his incredibly poor diet, lack of exercise, and being 40-odd years old. When [[The WCT|the WCT]] asked Chris if the "body quakes" were painful, he responded that they were "only mildly, more of an annoyance". Chris, of course, did not see a doctor about this.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

{{References}}

{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

File:Chrissy's Tombstone.png

2026-09-08T02:26:25Z

FullNameUnknown:

Manchester High Leaks

2026-09-05T18:27:24Z

FullNameUnknown: Added some extra context to desc.

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91 (also known as [[Cousin Al]]), began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's junior year (1998-99) of [[Manchester High School|high school]]'''.<ref>[https://archive.md/4xcbm]</ref> Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[2014 house fire|the January 2014 fire]] and subsequent events at [[14 Branchland Court]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high grades which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra credit would have contributed to his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Chris and Spanish|the wrong language]] and still got good or even ''perfect'' scores. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions and/or incompetence, but even though they may have made Chris, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving apathetic answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations". This idiosyncratic expression has been interpreted as referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children. It is likely to be just an obscure, antiquated idiomatic formation not to be taken literally, referring to the various [[Christopher's name change|wacky happenings]] stemmed from raising one single [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|very special boy]].
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other]] [[Vidya|methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly, earning him an F.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20, a C-.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods – chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name three benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Monthly tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Chris and stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended slavery, it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia, South Carolina]], and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president (this may have something to do with South Carolina not adopting a popular vote for president until 1868, making it by far the last state to do so, although this is probably giving Chris too much credit). In actuality, the 24th amendment abolishes poll taxes, while Chris makes it seem like it suddenly requires them. Additionally, the 26th amendment doesn't apply exclusively to men; it gives suffrage to all Americans 18 and older, regardless of sex.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].

Chris glosses over most of the Bill of Rights amendments (including the First Amendment that allows him to behave the way he does over the Internet), claiming the whole thing simply means "innocent until proven guilty."
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "AFRICA".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble (oddly from a white person): "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]
::[Note: In reality, the Senate was always two people from each state, and the 17th Amendment made them directly elected rather than appointed by State legislatures.]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME [[DUCK]] [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
::[Note: Clinton's second presidential term did not expire until 20 January 2001.]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled [[Pokemon|"S.S. ANNE."]], carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
::[Note: In reality, it was the exact opposite; the 24th Amendment ''prohibited'' federal and governments from requiring voters to pay poll taxes in order to vote.]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against '''the''' evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low – Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher should not have been hired.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Khomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured ''[sic]'' in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby ([[Michael Snyder|Rubinstein]]). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on [[wikipedia:The Nun's Priest's Tale|The Nun's Priest's Tale]] from [[wikipedia:Geoffrey Chaucer|Geoffrey Chaucer]]'s [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as [[CWC-isms|making up words]]. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft, which his teacher didn't even notice was the conclusion}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the US's conflict during World War Two, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War ''One''. In addition, he claims that the war was ended via ''peace treaty'', and not the total incineration of two Japanese cities. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently [[Chris and race|racist]]. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at, though it was most likely abysmally low.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he [[Plagiarism|quoted]] begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as [[Chris and writing|Chris's writing in general]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. He does not attempt to defend his opinions anywhere in the essay and implies that being "Catholic", "wealthy", and "a hero in World War II" are undesirable qualities for a President. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed, meaning that he got a total grade of ''106%'', or 53/50. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity", and yet she still got hired as a teacher.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin, the tense is actually correct in this case] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like [[Chris and fashion|your clothes]] 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
[[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Nice watch]] 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive [sic] that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}

===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
{{main|13 Lucky Writing Tips}}

This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched the Spanish dub of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random-access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricardo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad" – at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Brushfire Video|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of") instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler

7/12/98

Español, '''4'''

En mi cuarto, <s>yo llavo</s>hay una mochilla [''sic''], una cama, unos videos, <s>una video</s>, unos pósters, un televisón [''sic''], <s>un juego de</s>, unos juegos de videos, un pasador, unos estántes, unos libros, ∧y unos almohadas.

En mi cuarto <s>yo</s> no <s>llavo</s>hay una alfombra, unos discos, un estéreo, un radio despertádor, unas plantas, una cámara, unas cintas, un máquina de escribir, una silla, y una grabadora.
}}}}

Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
{{Incomplete|article=false}}

A hypothetical résumé Chris created for a chemistry-related job, plus a score sheet for a mock job interview for such a role. Despite being marked as meeting all of the objectives to an acceptable standard (and some even to a high standard), Chris's employment record turned out to be [[Chris and work|less than stellar]].

<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|
{{quotebox|
<center>
Christian W. Chandler. 
6008 Partingdale CR. 
Richmond, VA 23224. 
Phone #: (804)-674-9474. 
</center>

Objective: I would like to work as an Air Quality Control Chemist in the area of analyzing data and constructing models.

Qualifications: I feel that I am qualified for the position of Air Quality Control Chemist, because of my analytical and inquisitive nature. I question and challenge all aspects of every issue. My education and work experience in the area of chemical science give me the background I need to do an efficient and effective job.

My outstanding talents in drafting designs and building three-dimensional objects gives me a basis on which to build ideas for developing new products and processes. With my mathematical skills, I can calculate the necessary and possible outcome of my ideas.

Work History: 

2005-2010:
<center>
Sales Representative. 
Virginia Power. 
Charlottesville, Virginia.
</center>

2010-2013:
<center>
Computer Engineer. 
R.O.W. Sciences/FDC. 
Hampton, Virginia.
</center>

2013-2017:
<center>
Medicine Researcher. 
Bell & Associates. 
Richmond, Virginia.
</center>

Education:
<center>
Manchester High School, Richmond, Virginia 
Graduated June, 2000 

University of Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia 
B.S., M.S., and PhD. in Chemistry and Mathematics 
Graduated June, 2004
</center>

Interests and Activities: I build models, play video games, create instruction booklets for lego models, and speak Spanish. I am a member of the International Lego Creations Organization, The Pokemon Traders Society, and the Math & Chemistry Club.

Availability: I am available to start work immediately and work overtime during the week.

----

[On the back of his mock resume, Chris wrote "I had help from yahoo.com and my mother." The marker wrote "50/60, 33.1, 83.1/100".]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
3/15/99 
Chemistry, 2 

Questions for Panel:

1. Why are you applying for this job? 
I feel that I have the experience, education, talent, and skills to perform this job.

2. What do you have to offer this company as a chemist? 
My great mathematical skills and knowledge of chemistry.

3. How would you handle a situation where you saw someone stealing from the company? 
I would report the incident to my supervisor.

4. How would you handle an irate co-worker? 
I would ask if I could help, and try to console him/her by talking about other things.

5. If I give you an assignment, out of town, would you accept it? 
It's nice of you to offer, but I would rather have local assignments.

6. Are you available to work weekends? 
I would be glad to work when necessary.

7. How do you feel about working with customers? 
I enjoy working with people.

8. Tell me about your favorite hobby. 
My hobby is building structures with Lego pieces.

9. How does work and hobby and family life work for you? 
I enjoy all elements.

10. Tell me about your family. 
I have a wife and two children, and we enjoy each other's company.

----

}}
}}

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[2014 house fire|cause his house to burst into flames]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[2009-2016 tweets#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Education}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

File:Ottomanchu.jpg

2026-07-27T01:22:07Z

FullNameUnknown: Listed 24 July 2026 on Chris's Etsy. The Turkish joke translates to "They might be Giants"

== Summary ==
Listed 24 July 2026 on Chris's Etsy. The Turkish joke translates to "They might be Giants"

Template:Did you know

2026-07-26T04:04:37Z

FullNameUnknown: I am at least 10% sure this is supposed to be 22 instead of 19

{{#switch: {{{1|{{#expr:{{#time:s}} mod 22}}}}}
|0=
*... that [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|Chris had unintentionally rickrolled the internet with his song for]] [[PandaHalo]]?
*... that [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|this webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL]]?
*... that Chris got [[Polyamorous marriage|married]]... [[Magi-Chan|to]] [[Cryzel Rosechu|five]] [[Mewtwo|of]] [[Sylvana|his]] [[imaginary friends]] [[Helena Fiorenza#Pickchu|and an enabler-made OC]]?
*... that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*... that a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*... that [[Misc E-mails#Uri Geller Emails|Uri Geller]], a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training?
*... that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself]]?
*... that Chris once attended a [[Chris and mental healthcare#Relationship Management Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] wanted Chris to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
**... and that Chris was working on it!?
*... that Chris did not discover [[Mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
|1=
*... that Chris has performed [[Dick Licker; that is I|oral sex on Magi-Chan]]?
*... that [[BlueSpike]] was the [[weens|ween]] in the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4mkAw9Be-k JULAAAAAAAY call]?
*... that [[JenkinsJinkies]] is definitely '''NOT''' Chris?
*... that Chris was no longer [[So Need a Cute Girl|stuck as a]] [[virgin with rage]] after [[Mia Hamm|hiring a prostitute]]?
*... that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*... that Chris has committed [[28 October 2011|assault and battery]] against [[Michael Snyder]] and [[26 December 2014|illegally pepper sprayed]] the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]?
*... that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
*... that Chris attempted to fix [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]], and somehow made it make less sense?
*... that <s>[[Chris]]</s> <s>[[BILLY MAYS]]</s> <s>[[Allison Amber]]</s> <s>[[Brendan Fraser]]</s> <s>[[Mary Lee Walsh]]</s> [[January_2026_social_media_posts#Mayor_of_CWCville|Robbie Van Drawson]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*... that the [[Idea Guys]] [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] Chris into believing that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|his imaginary daughter Crystal]] would be brought into the world by [[:File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|Chris anally raping Sonichu]]?
**... and that Chris has once fisted Sonichu as a punishment?
*... that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#Edit details|blood, tears and semenal descent?]]
|2=
*... that Chris was accused by [[trolls]] of killing [[BILLY MAYS]] because he took Chris' spot as Mayor of CWCville?
*... that the [[Dimensional Merge]] will bring fictional characters and [[imaginary friends]] into reality?
**... and that the new [[dimension]] will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197?
*... that Chris is [[JenkinsJinkies|as wild as a serial raper]]?
**... and that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story?
**... and that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll?
*... that the [[trolls]] may have [[2012 Poster campaign|hired a skywriter]]?
*... that Chris believes that [[CWCville]] is real?
*... that Chris, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|in his own words]], buys "[[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*... that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon 2018#Nowacking rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
|3=
*... that Chris can put his [[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|energy into crystals]] and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
*... that Chris believes that ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}'' is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|an accurate depiction]] of [[Chris and reality|reality]]?
**... and that in the days before [[Meditation#Astral projection|Astral projection]], a dance mat in his room was [[CWCville#Geography and location|one way]] to reach CWCville?
*... that Chris’s [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|dance partner]] in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend?
*... that Chris’s investment strategy is to [[Chris and money#Lottery|stake $8 on the lottery]] every week?
*... that despite initially despising it, ''[[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]]'' is ranked #2 in Chris's [[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Top Movies List|Top Movies List on Facebook]]?
*... that Chris once had a strong disdain for the ''[[Harry Potter]]'' franchise [[Chris and brand loyalty|due to a perceived rivalry with]] the ''[[Pokémon]]'' franchise?
*... that Chris believes that [[The Simpsons|Lisa Simpson]] will be the President of the United States after the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
**... and that [[November 2020 social media posts#.23LisaSimpson2020|Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election]], despite endorsing [[Joe Biden]] to take over the Presidency after [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]?
*... that [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]], even though Chris now identifies as [[transgender]] and isn't actively growing facial hair?
|4=
*... that Chris spent a lot of time in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], in spite of a traumatic experience with [[Abusive babysitter|a babysitter locking him in there]]?
*... that YouTuber [[Geno Samuel]] has [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|a documentary series on Chris]] that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
**... and that Chris [[Geno Samuel DMs|has DMed him]] after seeing the series?
*... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to [[My Little Pony Protests|cancel a ''My Little Pony'' reboot]] because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
*... that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*... that Chris recycled his own [[semen]] by drinking it?
**... and that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
**... and that Chris [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|mixed semen with Fanta]]?
*... that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*... that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris called his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]] a bunch of pack rats?
*... that Chris has said [[Niggos]] only once, but has used [[Chris and race|the actual N-word]] multiple times?
**... That Chris was under the influence of [[trolls]] when he said those words?
* ... that Chris’s father's idea of kids games is [[Prank calls#Epic Crazy Lady calls Bob|Playing With Gutter Rats]] In the Sewer?
|5=
*... that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*... that Chris [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|stuck anal beads up his asshole]] but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit?
*... that you should [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|believe in the OCs]]?
*... that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Bundychu]]?
**... and that [[Bundychu]] is friends with [[Bob Chandler]]?
*... that despite being the [[Chris and his ego|so-called]] [[CPU]] of the Commodore systems, Chris [[naive|doesn't know]] how to turn a [[Commodore 64]] on?
*... that Chris stuck his [[duck]] in some [[Cwcsicle|snow]]?
*... that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]?
*... that [[Alec Benson Leary]] imprisoned four [[Rosechu]]s in his [[Asperchu parodies#Basement Rosechus|basement]]?
*... that Chris drove [[Clyde Cash#Ryan|Ryan Cash]] to [[Chris and death#Suicide|suicide]] when he temporarily cancelled ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''?
*... that Chris has been to [[Finland]] on at least seven separate occasions?
**... and that Chris [[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25|denies ever going to the country, despite photographic evidence]]?
|6=
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]?
*... that [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]?
*... that [[A-Logging|A-Log]] is Chris-Chan 2.0?
**... and that [[Michael J. Hirtes]] is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)?
*... that Chris went to [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a gay bar]] on a few occasions?
*... that the [[United States of America|American]] government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit around the house doing little to nothing?
*... that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|MLPG5 doesn't exist]] and G4 needs 5 more seasons?
*... that Chris [[Autism Awareness E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
*... that Chris [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|reinterpreted]] one of [[Lovely Weather|his characters]] when he believed that she had taken the form of [[Jessica Quinn|his newest sweetheart]]?
*... that Chris believed he cured his [[autism]] by listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]] [[Kacey Call 11|has a nine inch]] [[Pickle|penis]]?
*... that Chris [[March 2024 social media posts#Bitches and Barbussy|needs no bitches]]?
|7=
*... that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*... that Chris believes he has [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|over a billion people]] in his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]?
*... that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*... that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*... that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*... that Chris is a [[Chris and stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the Law|imprisoned]] in lulz?
*... that Chris told [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] about his [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|masturbation]], but [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was not as open minded on the subject?
*... that Chris [[Self-inflicted taint wound|slashed his taint]] open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt?
*... that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*... that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the pickle man]] [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|tricked Chris again]]?
*... that {{w|Andrew and James Dall Houses|the house in Cleveland}} that [[Ohio trip|Chris was tricked into visiting]] is listed on the National Register of Historic Places?
*... that #RussiaIsMLPG5; the fact that you acknowledge it puts a notch in the [[Russia|Soviet's belt]], which is not good?
|8=
*... that Chris considers the "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*... that Chris describes World War II as [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"]]?
*... that Chris's [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe DNA results]] indicate that he has no [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, but is 1.3% [[Super Mario Bros.|Italian]]?
*... that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do a single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*... that Chris [[Power|once knew a man from Nantucket]]?
*... that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*... that Chris is the [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris the Card Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*... that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
**... and that Chris [[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind|believed it too]]?
*... that Chris no longer lives at [[14 Branchland Court]] and instead lives in [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA#Big Island|the house]] owned by [[Caden Peck]]?
|9=
*... that Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|voided himself in terror in his sleep]] when he thought that [[Clyde Cash]] [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|was trying to kill him]]?
*... that [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes]]?
*... that Chris thinks you're "[[10 September 2009|trolling stupid]]"?
*... that Chris once [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|visited an abandoned sanatorium]] to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a [[Weening|ween]] mere hours later?
*... that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
**... and that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Stephanie Bustcakes|female prostitute]]?
*... that Chris thinks that those with [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true [[Autism|autistic]] people?
*... that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*... that Chris [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|once said that ''Pain'' is a fun game]], despite having no trophies for it on PSN?
*... that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*... that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call#Transcript|Vivian's gonna rape Jack with the strapon because she's crazy?]]
|10=
*... that Chris hates the word "[[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
**... and that Chris has no idea what [[Naïve]] actually means?
*... that [[Bryan Bash]] sent [[Hooker incident|a handful of hookers to Chris' house]]?
*... that [[Jerkhief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*... that Chris loves [[McDonald's]], while his [[dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*... that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", [[Christopher's name change|until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"]]?
**... and that his [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]] name is Ricardo?
**... and that his legal name is now [[Transgender|Christine]]?
*... that the [[Chris's Big Night Out#Grip 'n' Sip|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[Krapple|/cow/]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] was real?
*... that [[Flutter]]'s name [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|shall not be revealed]]?
|11=
*... that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
**... and that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*... that [[Brushfire Video|a male idiot tried to put out a fire]] while Chris just stood there and watched?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]]'s real name is [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]?
**... and that Solid Chris's name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]?
*... that [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"?
*... that the ''[[Saw]]'' movies are some of [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's favorite movies]]?
*... that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of [[Chris's birthday|age]], [[race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Chris and money|socio-economic]] [[Financhu Crisis|situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler]] helped host the [[WTJU Marathon]] back in [[1990s#1990|1990]]?
*... that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent]]?
*... that [[OfficialCWCmart|Chris]] sells [[14 Branchland Court|driveway gravel]] for $15 a bag?
**... and that [[Ween|people]] actually buy it?
|12=
*... that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*... that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his [[Bob Chandler|father]] was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu the Animated Series|animated series]]?
*... that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*... that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''[[Seinfeld]]''?
*... that Chris originally was a [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#College Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at random) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
**... and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
*... that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the Witch]] isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
*... that Chris actually [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] Sonichu?
*... that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
**... and that he's overdue for it [[Son-Chu#Chevrolet Aveo|even in his newest car]]?
|13=
*... that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[Tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
**... and that [[Weed|weed]] is an instant life sentence in maximum security prison?
*... that Chris [[Imaginary friends|had a conversation with]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] while in a meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?
**... and that Chris fired a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at Walsh [[Jackie Chat 5|in the same meeting]]?
**... and that this incident is what got him suspended from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]?
*... that Chris insulted a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|mentally disabled]] fan?
*... that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
**... and that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*... that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eat pancakes instead of attending his [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral the same day?
*... that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
**... and that Chris also believes [[Daniel Weston|one of his ancestors]] sailed aboard the ''Mayflower''?
*... that [[Keffals]] is an enabler of Chris at least since the [[Second Coming]]?

|14=
*... that Chris and [[Jacob Sockness]] aren't dating... yet?
*... that Chris believes that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC (27 December 2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*... that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|real]]?
*... that Chris attempted to [[dox]] multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*... that Chris has dreamed about [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having sex with his mom]]?
**... and that Chris [[Affair with Mother|has been charged with having sex with his mom]]?
**... and Chris got those charges dismissed?
*... that Chris believes if ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, [[Akan]] will [[My Little Pony Protests|invade Equestria]] and eventually [[1218|our own universe]]?
**... and that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|G5]] has caused World War III?
*... that [[Barb]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*... that Chris [[McIntire Park|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*... that Chris is practically blacklisted from being mentioned on [[Wikipedia]]?
|15=
*... that even now, Chris does not think he is [[Obesity|fat]]?
*... that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*... that Chris loves to give [[CWC Blog#29 November 2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|a real date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
**... and that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dreams]]?
*... that Chris [[Chris lost Crystal|recorded himself screaming at a toilet]]?
*... that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*... that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*... that [[June 2015|Sega knows]] about [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's attempts]] to [[Keep Sonic Original|change Sonic's]] [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|arms back]]?
*... that Chris rates jail [[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)| a 2/5]]?
|16=
*... that [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]]?
**... and that [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]] serves as the spiritual successor to that band?
**... and that [[July 2021 social media posts#Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps concert|Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps]] is another spiritual successor to that band?
*... that Chris [[Homos|used to be a massive Homophobe]]?
**... and that Chris is now a proud member of the [[SLGBTQ]] community?
*... that Chris is a fan of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCO1ITICo8MLHGAXR1uzFwjA OneyPlays], and [[OneyPlays Twitter Voice Clip|was amused by their impersonation of him]]?
*... that Chris spent nearly an entire year of his life [[Spirit possession|pretending to be possessed]] by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] got Chris to watch ''[[Anime#The End of Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]''?
*... that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Gal pal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*... that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[Boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*... that [[BABSCon]] staff framed and displayed Chris's futile attempts for them to allow Chris to attend the event?
|17=
*... that Chris got tricked into [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|making a shout-out video]] dedicated to {{w|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|the Columbine shooters}}?
*... that ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' rocks?
*... that Chris was featured on {{w|Fox News}}?
*... that Chris completed a commission tied to the [[:File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|Sneed's Feed and Seed]] joke from [[The Simpsons]]?
*... that [[CWCville]] is pronounced as "quick-ville"?
*... that Chris believes that lolcow and spree killer [[Randy Stair]] (AKA [[November 2020 social media posts#Dimensional merge stuff|Andrew]] [[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Has Randy Stair gotten more popular since his death?|Blaze]]) was aware of the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] made a cameo in a {{w|Dodie (singer)|dodie}} music video?
*... that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music]]?
*... that Chris reenacted [[CopperCab]]'s [[Re-enactment - Gingers Have Souls|Gingers have Souls]] video?
*... that Chris [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|punched multiple holes in his wall]] to try to break through the [[Iron Curtain]]?
|18=
*... that the [[trolls]] behind the [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Kacey]] personas actually got married to each other in real life?
*... that Chris thinks that obscure box office flop ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'' is one of the greatest animated movies ever made?
*... that the [[My Little Pony|brony convention]] [[Everfree Northwest]] banned Chris after learning that [[Affair with Mother|he banged]] [[Barbara Chandler|his own mom]]?
**...and that [[BABSCon]] did the same thing in [[2024]] after Chris attempted to purchase tickets for the event?
*... that Chris has no idea what [[Autism]] really is?
*... that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck]], but never once in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]?
*... that when a Sonichu or Rosechu drives, they drive a [[Sonichu 11|Hybrid]]?
*... that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*... that Chris used a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] for the first time in nearly a decade [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|after breaking up with]] [[Jessica Quinn]]?
*... that someone hacked into Chris's [[YouTube]] account and uploaded excerpts of [[A-Logging|Anthony LoGatto's]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] video [[Jail Saga|while he was in jail]]?
*... that infamous lolcow [[Ethan Ralph]] [[Jail Saga#Arrest|caught Chris's arrest on a livestream]] just to spite his former friend [[Null]]?
*... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in [[Chris in the media#Smiling Friends|Smiling Friends]]?
|19=
*... that Chris [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|foresaw your letter long ago]]?
*... that Chris sends [[Holy Labels]] to people who send him letters to help them purify their drinks?
*... that Chris had an actual [[Fiona Cooper|True and Honest Sweetheart]] that got him arrested?
*... that Chris believes himself to be an incarnation of [[Chris and religion|Jesus of Nazareth]]?
*... that a group of trolls tried to [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|convert Chris to Islam]] in jail?
*... that Chris continues [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|his begging]] for hand-outs to [[debt|sustain the financial situation of 14BC]] even from behind bars?
**... and [[Barb]] hasn't gotten [[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021| a cent]]?
*... that the [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|Bible is ''The Simpsons'' and the Qur'an is ''Family Guy'']]?
*... that [[Son-Chu]] got totalled from Barb not giving right-of-way?
*... that Chris updated the Ten Commandments?
*... that Chris [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|implied the trolling was worse]] than being [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down by 5 teachers]] and [[Kick the autistic|having his screams recorded for their amusement]]?
|20=
*... that Chris [[November 2023 social media posts#Criticizing Kiwi Farms, "I am not a Lolcow"|denies being a lolcow]]?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] [[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022|is a reincarnation of Merlin the magician]]?
*... that Chris can [[Masturbation discussions|feel how sad and horny he is]] in his heart and solar plexus chakra?
*... that Chris [[Gruppenfuhrer Fegelein chat|admits]] [[Women's Rights]] didn't exist in [[CWCville]] until [[2017]]?
**... and that he blames it on the past Chris?
*... that Chris spent $6,267.09 on [[toys]] during the [[Financhu Crisis]], which [[Chris and money|could have paid off half the amount his creditors were suing him for]]?
*... that Chris's full name and description is [[Jail Letter - 4 January 2022|"Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and the nations of Old Comma and Cwcville, Guardian of the Sonichu & Rosechu Species, and Immortal avatar, Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all"]]?
*... that the [[COVID-19]] pandemic [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|was engineered]] by [[Jacob Sockness]]?
*... that [[Count Graduon]] is the embodiment of Chris's disappointment towards his high school graduation?
|21=
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob Chandler's]] ''alma mater'' is a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering from Auburn University? (roll tide)
*... that Chris once compared [[Father Call|carrying your dead friend on your back to safety to the struggle of moving furniture?]]
*... that [[Trolls|trolls]] once presented a script of a video [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking 9/11 in order to threaten Clyde Cash]] to Chris, and then Chris ''created and released it for them?''
*... that Chris's [[Chandler Family Tree|family tree]] includes six people that fought for the Confederate States of America during the American Civil War, and that among those six, one owned ''twenty-one slaves?''
*... that [[BILLY MAYS]] is absolutely [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS#IRC Transcript|PERPLEXED THAT YOU WOULD OFFER THAT INFORMATION?]]
*... [[Monthly tugboat|that the government lended Chris at least $1,300 each month from 2010 until (presumably) 2023?]]
*... that Chris sold at least 2,000 items from July 2025 to July 2026 on his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy shop]]?
*... that [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|the US and Japan really wanted to get it on]]?
*... that [[Praetor]] [[OfficialCWCmart#Handmade Sonichu Medallion, WITH MEGASTONE|is selling Sonichu Medallions for $110]]?
}}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided into blocks that get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try to ensure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time, pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*... that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.

|#default={{color|red|Error: block {{#expr:{{#time:s}} mod 19}} not defined.}}}}

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Here is the whole thing in action:
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[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

User:FullNameUnknown

2026-07-21T02:59:04Z

FullNameUnknown:

https://youtu.be/PXI-lvIg0TI

[[User:FullNameUnknown/The Demon Theory of Christory]]

Post-jail sightings (2023)

2026-07-21T01:27:46Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Richmond International Airport */

[[File:Chris sightings in May 2023.png|thumb|A map of all Chris sightings in [[May 2023]]. (''Note: this map has the wrong Walmart labeled. The Walmart where Chris was spotted is further south, just off of US Route 360.'')]]

{{quote|I'm not Bigfoot|[[Toys for Tots#Part One|Chris on sightings]] in [[December 2023]]}}

On 27 [[March 2023]], [[Chris]] was [[Jail Saga#Bonded out or Released by court order|released from jail]], with the only explanation being ''"released by court order"''. Beginning on 1 [[May 2023]], '''sightings of Chris''' were reported in various places around {{w|Chesterfield County, Virginia}}. From [[June 2023|June]] onwards, Chris has been spotted in a number of locations around the state of Virginia, including {{w|Williamsburg, Virginia|Williamsburg}}, {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia|Lynchburg}}, {{w|Bedford, Virginia|Bedford}} and [[Ruckersville]].

Most of the sightings are initially posted to the [[r/ChrisChanSonichu|r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit]] or to [[Twitter]]. Most sightings to date have involved Chris either shopping or playing [[card games|trading card games]] at game stores. As of [[August 2023|August]], it has been confirmed that Chris once again has his [[Son-Chu|own car]]. On several occasions, Chris was seen accompanied by [[Flutter]], which has led to speculation that she might be his newest [[sweetheart]].

==May==
===Walmart===

On 1 [[May 2023]], Chris was spotted shopping at a [[Walmart]] in {{w|Midlothian, VA|Midlothian}}, Virginia, a western suburb of Richmond in Chesterfield County.

On the same day, a Reddit user called DarylMcGoofyGuy posted a thread with a photo of Chris, claiming that a friend had sent the picture.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350b35/chris_sighting_at_a_walmart_a_friend_sent_me_this/ ([https://archive.ph/orKH9 archive])</ref> On Twitter, more photos were posted by an account named Speedymctweet, again claiming a friend had sent them.<ref>https://twitter.com/Speedymctweet/status/1653131783897063425 ([https://archive.is/IaZMd archive])</ref> In the photos, Chris's [[hair]] has returned to its natural brown color, and he also appears thinner, congruent with his last mugshot. He also has a temporary [[medallion|Sonichu medallion]].

<center><gallery>
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 1.png|Photo uploaded by both DarylMcGoofyGuy and Speedymctweet, of Chris putting something in or taking something out of his cart.
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 2.png|2nd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris shopping.
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 3.jpg|3rd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris looking at what could be a shopping list.
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 4.jpg|4th photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris in the Entertainment section.
</gallery></center>

Another Reddit user, Alternative_Roof1940, subsequently posted photos of Chris from the security cameras at the Walmart.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350yv5/chris_chan_at_my_local_walmart_not_a_drill/ ([https://archive.ph/Zb6eA archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
Image:Midlothian_CCTV.png|Chris on CCTV
Image:Chris_Near_Checkout.jpg|Shot of Chris near the checkout
</gallery></center>

====Video====

Alternative_Roof1940 also uploaded a brief video clip of Chris walking away outside of the store.

{{Infobox/video
| name = May 1, 2023
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvvdJrpYbu8}}
| stardate = 1 [[May 2023]]
| saga = [[Image:TheChaseicon.png]] [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|Post-Jail]]
| saga = [[Incest Arrest#Video|The Arrest]]
| saga =
| previous = [[Incest Arrest]]
| next = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (August)|The Otaku King's CWC sighting]]
}}

He also claimed:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/user/Alternative_Roof1940/comments/ ([https://archive.fo/oVp8W archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Chris approached the electronic department asking for a flash drive and also ended up buying a [[Nintendo Switch|switch]] (yes......again). The second photo is from the electronics when he was asking}}

{{quoteboxgreen|There was a large black van chris got into about 8 stores down driven by a large black woman. I didn't take any photos of the vehicle for the sake of the woman driving}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No, there was no group. Chris was alone the entire time up until chris got into the car with 1 single person parked 8 stores away}}

The address of the Walmart was not revealed by any of the observers, but the exterior view shown in Alternative_Roof1940's video indicates that it is located at 14501 Hancock Village Street. This location happens to be 10 miles (16 km) by road from the main campus of [[Gateway Homes]], lending support to the hypothesis that Chris is residing there. One of the rules of Gateway Homes states “No registered sex offenders or individuals who have committed a sexual offense will be considered,”<ref>https://gatewayhomes.org/admissions-eligibility/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/dYQf1 archive])</ref> although Chris is not a registered offender and has not been formally convicted of [[incest]], making it unclear if his charge poses an issue for admission. Without confirmation, we cannot say for sure where Chris is residing. Coincidentally, the Walmart is only 4 miles (6 km) from [[Manchester High School]], which Chris attended from 1996 to 2000.

===Battlegrounds===
[[File:Gamestore2023.jpg|thumb|200px|[[:File:Chrischannov2007.jpg|Nothing has changed]].]]

On 2 [[May 2023]], Chris was spotted playing cards at the game store Battlegrounds, also in Midlothian, around 11 miles north of Walmart he was shopping on May 1st and a half hour drive from his speculated Gateway Homes. The photo was posted by Euclid_Class_Object to Reddit on the same day presumably. <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1366xdf/chris_spotted_in_a_local_game_shop/# ([https://archive.ph/wip/G2SLO archive])</ref>

Euclid Class Object sourced the photo from a member of the "Zodiac Duelist" Yu-Gi-Oh Facebook group.


On the 5th, Battlegrounds set their Facebook store page to private, most likely due to [[Weening|ween]] activity.

Chris was wearing the same [[Medallions#Temporary post-jail substitute|temporary medallion]] he was wearing in the Walmart photos.

===Chesterfield Towne Center===
[[File:Chrischan-seen-in-public-v0-f7l8pasp6qxa1.png|thumb|left|200px|CWCfoot]]

On 3 [[May 2023]], for the third time in a row, Chris was spotted outside a [[wikipedia:Donatos Pizza|Donatos Pizza]] at [[wikipedia:Chesterfield Towne Center|Chesterfield Towne Center]] in Chesterfield County, about 16 miles (25 km) north of the speculated Gateway Homes and over 2 miles (4 km) east of Battlegrounds. The photo was posted to Reddit by Pure_Lingonberry_677, who also claims his friend took the photo <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13703h9/chrischan_seen_in_public/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/Uag2Q archive])</ref>

This was the first sighting where Chris was aware that he was being photographed. Chris appeared to be put off and even nervous, something uncharacteristic of him before the Jail Saga, though Chris could just be caught off-guard.

Also, the Sonichu medallion itself somehow turned its face towards the camera; whether this was due to Chris [[Sonichu's Edge|moving fast enough for the medallion]] [[Obesity|to bounce naturally off of Chris]], or that [[Magical thinking|the medallion itself is possessed by the same forces]] set to bring about the [[Dimensional Merge]] is uncertain.

===Earthbound Trading Company===
[[File:CWC sighting 5-27-23.png|thumb|right|200px|Chris, [[Chris and fashion|fitting in]].]]

On 3 [[May 2023]] a reddit user called sagehazes who works as a cashier mentioned in a comment on the Chesterfield Towne Center sighting thread that they had rung Chris up at the store where they work:

{{quoteboxgreen|came into my store and signed the receipt "sonichu"}}

At the time sagehazes did not elaborate or provide evidence.

On 27 [[May 2023]] sagehazes rang Chris up again, and on 29 May they rang him up a third time. That same day, sagehazes posted a picture of Chris in line at the register and a picture of his [[signature]] on a receipt. While the pictures on Reddit are from the 27 May sighting, sagehazes claims that they also took pictures during the 29 May sighting. It remains to be seen if those will be uploaded as well.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/sighting_signature/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/0IYbm archive])</ref>

In the thread, sagehazes did not name the store but described it as "a hippie/new age type store."<ref name=sagehazes>https://www.reddit.com/user/sagehazes/comments/ ([https://archive.fo/2tfaW archive])</ref> One Reddit user identified the store as Earthbound Trading Company, a clothing and new-age chain which has a location in Chesterfield Towne Center. Photographs of the mall store on Google Maps show that the store's ceiling matches the ceiling visible in sagehazes' photo.

According to sagehazes, Chris had been to the shop at least twice, once near the end of [[April 2023|April]] and again on 27 May. Sagehazes described his purchases as "usually jewelry and crystals" and described Chris as looking relatively normal (by his standards) but emitting an unhealthy odor:<ref name=sagehazes></ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|it was definitely funky with a hint of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]}}
{{quoteboxgreen|pure shit I had to breathe through my mouth very shallowly}}

Sagehazes also claimed that Chris was talking to himself while in the store.<ref name=sagehazes></ref>

The woman standing in line behind Chris would also make a statement on twitter regarding her experience.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14p4qr9/not_sure_how_many_people_saw_this_but_the_girl_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 ([https://archive.ph/wip/5cliu archive])</ref><ref>https://x.com/t1ffy_sprinkles/status/1666978091879522306?s=20 ([https://archive.ph/wip/L7H1E archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Hi so um apparently I was in the background of a Chris chan picture??? Some YouTuber named SmokeyMcC posted it and I was at the mall with some of my friends and we saw him there!! I had no idea it was him and apparently people on reddit are talking about it....}}
{{quoteboxgreen|He was taking AGES in line though he was trying to find loose change all in his bag. I couldn't really smell him so ig I wasn't close enough or all the essential oils in that store were clogging my nose. Also I have a constant resting bitch face so I might have seemed mad but I really wasn't I was just with my friends at the time so I wasn't paying attention like at all}}

One notable change from early May is that Chris's [[hair]] has been dyed a bright teal color. Also conspicuous is the absence of the Sonichu medallion, presumably to avoid recognition by weens. On closer inspection, however, the back of a necklace can be seen on his neck, as well as what looks to be a bump in the shape of the medallion under his clothes, so it is likely he has simply hidden it under his shirt.

The signature reads "J. Christ Chan Sonichu," showing that Chris's [[Messiah_complex#Jesus_Reborn|Jesus delusions]] remain strong after being released from jail.

[[File:CWC signature 5-27-23.png|thumb|center|200px|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

===Modern Table Top Gaming===
[[File:May 30 2023 sighting.jpg|thumb|left|200px|[[Affair with Mother|You are what you eat]].]]
On 30 [[May 2023]], a now-deleted Reddit user Literally-poop spotted Chris playing {{w|Magic: The Gathering}} in an unspecified location and posted a photo of him to r/ChrisChanSonichu the same day.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13w21ko/sighted_today_playing_mtg// ([https://archive.ph/wip/Ze6iG archive])</ref> The Sonichu Medallion is once again presumably hidden under Chris's shirt.

User SaleneDreams identified the store as Modern Table Top Gaming in [[wikipedia:Chester, Virginia|Chester]], a community in eastern Chesterfield County.<ref> https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13w21ko/sighted_today_playing_mtg/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/OOubK archive])</ref> Photos of Modern Table Top Gaming on Google Maps confirm that the chairs and table in the store match those in the photo and that the framed picture behind Chris had been blacked out because it prominently displayed the store's name. The store is 15 miles (24 km) east of Gateway Homes.

==June==
===Williamsburg Premium Outlets===

[[File:CWC-Premium Outlets sighting-June 2023.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris with two [[Gal pal|women]].]]
On 7 [[June 2023]], Chris was spotted buying [[Restaurants|Ben and Jerry's]] at {{w|Williamsburg Premium Outlets}} in {{w|Williamsburg, Virginia}} with two women, one of whom was in a wheelchair. On the same day, user CardboardJoJo claimed on r/ChrisChanSonichu that Chris had complimented their dog, initially without any photos and refusing to state where this had happened.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/143jnzv/chris_just_told_me_my_dog_was_very_cute/ ([https://archive.ph/DbOJK archive])</ref>

CardboardJoJo wrote:

{{quoteboxgreen|Won’t say where, but similar to where they’ve been sighted in May. Was walking my dog and a person in leggings and a jeans skirt said “That is just the cutest dog!” and I immediately recognized their voice. I was shook and just told them “thank you!” but I feel so blessed.}}

A few hours later, CardboardJoJo posted a photo of Chris and the women and disclosed the location.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/143osoa/photo_of_chris_from_today_after_the_dog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 ([https://archive.ph/wip/azTCG archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|This was in Williamsburg at the Premium Outlets for those interested in documenting that level of specifics. Didn’t want to post this info at the time in case someone would attempt to go there and make contact. They were on the way to get Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.}}

This is the first post-jail sighting of Chris outside of Chesterfield County. The Ben and Jerry's location is about 66 miles (102 km) east of Gateway Homes by road, a drive of more than an hour without traffic.

==July==
===Walmart (July)===
On 3 [[July 2023]], the person seen behind Chris in the photo of the previous Earthbound Trading Company sighting posted on the [[Official CWCki Server]] that a friend had seen Chris at Walmart in Chesterfield County and had taken a photo of Chris looking at a display of G-Fuel drinks. Chris is seen with newly dyed dark blue hair and the photographer noted he (Chris) had his [[medallion]] on.<ref>[[Official CWCki Server chats#Walmart sighting]]</ref>

Later that day, the photographer posted to [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]], adding that the Walmart was at Hancock Village St<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14pxmud/comment/jql80m7/?context=3 ([https://archive.fo/eyCZy archive])</ref> and also posted a similar photo.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14q3k6v/alternative_photo/ ([https://archive.fo/eyCZy archive])</ref>

In the high-resolution photo, it can be seen that Chris has a drawing of the [[Neo Spiritual Christianity]] cross clipped to his backpack, seemingly a memento from his jail days as it is done entirely in black and blue pen.

<center><gallery>
File:Walmart 3 July 2023 sighting details1.jpg|Photographer's details of the sighting, posted to the Official CWCki Server
File:Walmart 3 July 2023 sighting details2.jpg|Photographer's details of the sighting, part 2
File:Walmart 3 Jul 2023 sighting.jpg|First sighting photo
File:Walmart 3 Jul 2023 sighting2 (cropped).jpg|Second sighting photo, posted to Reddit (cropped due to file size limits on CWCki)
</gallery></center>

{{clear}}

===Dragon Fire Games===
On 20 [[July 2023]], a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] user posted a thread on /b/, uploading a photo of Chris taken from behind. The user commented:
{{quoteboxyellow|I play Magic The Gathering in central VA. Chris Chan showed up for the first time here. Should I get her number?}}
When asked "How bad does he stink?" the user answered:
{{quoteboxyellow|Nothing noticeable. For reference, this was at Dragon Fire Games in Lynchburg, Virginia."<ref>https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/902962124/#q902962124 ([https://archive.ph/2u4he archive])</ref>}}

A photo taken from another angle, showing Chris's face, was briefly posted in a thread on [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]]. The photo was apparently sourced from an unknown Discord server, but the Reddit thread was quickly deleted by the poster,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/155ay7v/ripped_from_discord/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/xnX4j archive])</ref> although the photo itself was saved.

This is the second known sighting of Chris outside of Chesterfield County, and the farthest from the Chesterfield Gateway Homes campus that he has traveled since his apparent transfer - Lynchburg is approximately 108 miles west of the facility by road, a drive of nearly two hours without traffic.

<center><gallery>
File:CWC sighting 20Jul2023 1.jpg ‎
File:CWC sighting 20Jul2023 2.jpg ‎
</gallery></center>

==August==
===Walmart (August)===
On 4 [[August 2023]], Twitter user The Otaku King posted a video of Chris at what appears to be a Walmart in Lynchburg, writing:
{{quoteboxpurple|Found chris chan (60% sure?) . Cool dude. Talked to him about sonic and shit. Don't seem that bad."<ref>https://twitter.com/TheOtakuKing_/status/1687541346955935744 ([https://archive.ph/Wk3Rz archive])</ref>}}

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = The Otaku King's CWC sighting
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F6SRKgsbKN4}}
| stardate = 4 [[August 2023]]
| saga = Third Exile
| previous = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart|Return of the living Chrischan]]
| next = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Greene County courthouse|EDP445 is helping me uncover a scandal - Explanation.]]
}}

====Messages====

This was quickly added to this page, and Twitter users inquired about the conversation, as it was the first confirmed conversation with Chris since his release from jail. Otaku responded to these posts; notable messages are archived below.

{{quoteboxpurple|I didn't know if it was him or not. But I did seen sonic stuff on him.

Didn't ask him that. I Pretend I didn't even know him. Didn't want to walk up and be like hey. Chris where you live at! Lol}}

{{quoteboxpurple|Chris is just some Confused kid. Thought about being like woody and hanging out with him. He just need a friend. He don't seems that bad.}}

{{quoteboxpurple|Nothing [about alternate dimensions]. We was chilling and talking about sonic cd etc. Wanted to ask him about anime but I had to go.}}

After a user mentioned Chris's criminal history, Otaku replied:

{{quoteboxpurple|Damn. He a Criminal. Well I got to do some research again. Been while}}

On 20 August, Otaku King also recorded a YouTube video describing meeting Chris.

{{Infobox/video
| name = my talk with chris chan that day
| video = {{#ev:youtube|h_lhbB8gDDk}}
}}

===Greene County courthouse===
On 8 [[August 2023]], Chris showed up to court for his final review hearing over his incest charge.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 8 August 2023.png]]</ref>

YouTube user Prism42 filmed a brief 4-second clip of Chris entering the courthouse. He later claimed to have spoken to Chris and introduced himself, but that [[David Heilberg|Chris's lawyer]] then intervened.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO1yBZ0smKY&t=240s</ref><ref>[https://archive.fo/J4ZsB Archive of tweets]</ref>

The clip of Chris can be seen at 4:37 below.

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = EDP445 is helping me uncover a scandal - Explanation.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BO1yBZ0smKY}}
| stardate = 8 [[August 2023]]
| saga = Third Exile
| previous = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (August)|The Otaku King's CWC sighting]]
| next = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Food Lion|local chris chan sighting in ruckersville virginia! with a woman?]]
}}

===Walmart Part II===
On 24 [[August 2023]], Chris was spotted at Walmart for the fourth time by DoctorWinchester87, who was initially reluctant to post the photo they took of Chris,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/160fctz/ran_into_chris_today_and_it_was_a_surreal/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/Q33tR archive])</ref> though later posted it a few hours later.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/160jrwp/follow_up_to_my_ran_into_chris_post_heres_the_pic/ ([https://archive.ph/ZObkl archive])</ref>
<center><gallery>
File:E0qdelsi25kb1.jpg|Chris lookin' for [[Chris and nutrition|grub]].
</gallery></center>

{{quoteboxgreen|Just wanted to clarify for those who didn't see the original post I made - this occurred in Walmart in Lynchburg, VA this afternoon. I was just walking along and saw him coming down the aisle. I got this picture (which is slightly zoomed in from the original) and a preliminary picture which was really far away and blurry.

I did not interact with Chris/Christine other than just walking past and making brief eye contact. I did hear him talking to himself briefly.}}

===On the road===
On 25 [[August 2023]], [[Kiwi Farms]] user Right Butt Cheek posted a photo of [[Son-Chu|Chris's car]] from Lynchburg in reply to a post by user Stupidface about the information currently tied to the "SONCIHU" plate. The user also claimed that their friend sent it to them.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Soncihu License Plate]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:IMG 8573.jpg
</gallery></center>

The plate information this was in reply to was the following:
{{quoteboxgreen|VIN: KL1TD56646B569111
2006 Chevrolet Aveo
Last sold on May 19 2023 for $3,500.}}
{{Clear}}

==September==
===14 Branchland Court===
[[File:Home.png|thumb|200px|Oh. Oh, no.]]
On 4 [[September 2023]], Reddit user nemo1316 posted a photo of the same car from the Chevrolet Aveo sighting parked at [[14 Branchland Court]], indicating that Chris was visiting.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/169yv4r/chris_chans_car_sighted_at_sonichu_temple/ ([https://archive.ph/p78r1 archive])</ref> [[Barb]] was [[Fan_visits#FaithlessnessSad5791_(AKA_Barb_sighting)|sighted]] at the house on the 25th of August, though it is unknown if she was there at the time of Chris's arrival. The house was [[Fan_visits#Aggravating_Art_%282023%29|reportedly empty]] on the 8th.

<center><gallery>
File:Bxn1aghz1amb1.png|Well, ''nuts''.
</gallery></center>

===Food Lion===
On the same day as the 14 Branchland sighting, Twitter user bndjnky sighted Chris at the {{w|Food Lion}} [[Ruckersville]] location talking with [[Flutter]] at a {{w|Coinstar}} machine.<ref>https://twitter.com/bndjnky/status/1698801255978545375 ([https://archive.ph/hUhep archive])</ref>

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = local chris chan sighting in ruckersville virginia! with a woman?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-nBkkwb5I1c}}
| stardate = 4 [[September 2023]]
| saga = {{Flutter|text}}
| previous = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Greene County courthouse|EDP445 is helping me uncover a scandal - Explanation.]]
| next = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Sheetz(September)/On the road Part II|DooDoo fard2874 Chris Chan Stalking Video]]
}}

This was the first time Chris was recorded speaking since his release.

===Sheetz(September)/On the road Part II===
On 9 [[September 2023]], Discord user DooDoo fard2874 posted on the [[Official CWCki Server]] that he had found Chris on the road from Lynchburg and followed him all the way to a [[Sheetz]] convenience store in [[Charlottesville]]. He apparently ran after Chris, though Chris (thankfully) pulled out of the parking lot and drove off before he could reach him, driving away from Charlottesville with the same woman from the Food Lion sighting, [[Flutter]]. He provided four photos and a video with no audio, along with the following account:<ref>[[:File:Image (17).png|1]] [[:File:Image_(22).png|2]] [[:File:Image (18).png|3]] [[:File:Image (19).png|4]] [[:File:Image_(20).png|5]] [[:File:Image (21).png|6]] ''(note: DooDoo fard2874 deleted some of his messages before they could be screenshotted)''</ref>

{{quotebox|I saw him, we followed him. at an intersection I ran up to him and yelled their name. We followed him to a Sheetz and he pulled into the parking lot. I ran after him and he pulled out of the lot and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|I yelled]] "CHRIS CHAN WE LOVE YOU" then he went out on the highway and we lost him.}}

<center><gallery>
File:IMG 4711.png
File:IMG 4712.png
File:IMG 4710.png
File:IMG 4706.png
</gallery></center>

DooDoo fard2874 also reportedly took a photo ''of'' Chris, though it appears to have been lost.

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = DooDoo fard2874 Chris Chan Stalking Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wFdp5hFXL7E}}
| stardate = 9 [[September 2023]]
| saga =
| previous = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Food Lion|local chris chan sighting in ruckersville virginia! with a woman?]]
| next = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (September)|Chris leaving Walmart]]
}}

DooDoo fard2874 is most definitely a [[ween]], and not a keen one either. DooDoo fard2874 was [[banned]] from the server shortly after he posted about his <s>sighting</s> chase, and fellow CWCki server members found that his [[Facebook]] account was linked to his [[Discord]] account. DooDoo fard2874 promptly deleted his Discord account and privated his Facebook.

===Walmart (September)===
On the 16th, Chris was again spotted with [[Flutter]], who was first seen with Chris at Food Lion, at a Walmart in {{w|Bedford, VA}} a town not far away from Lynchburg. A poster on [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]] posted that a friend had photographed Chris and taken a video.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16kdgij/my_friend_met_chris_chan_at_a_walmart_holy_shit/ ([https://archive.ph/nWCWk archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:CWC-Walmart-2023-09-16 (cropped).jpg|{{w|Austin Powers (character)|''Groovy, baby!''}}
</gallery></center>

Chris's cart contains two yoga mats and LED strips. It also has food such as tomatoes, peanuts, peanut butter, and whipped topping. He is wearing a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' shirt and seems to have the [[medallion]] on underneath his shirt.

{{clear}}

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris leaving Walmart
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FTVkoT8KWhY}}
| stardate = 16 [[September 2023]]
| saga = {{Flutter|text}}
| previous = [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Sheetz(September)/On the road Part II|DooDoo fard2874 Chris Chan Stalking Video]]
| next = [[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]]
}}

===Undisclosed parking lot===
On the 19th, Chris was sighted with his Chevrolet Aveo in a currently undisclosed parking lot near Bedford by Reddit user battychaosgoblin and boyfriend.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/chrischan_spotted_and_spoke_to_us/k1chtse/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/wip/VgsZJ archive])</ref> Chris briefly remarked on an [[South Park|Eric Cartman]] plush they had with them.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/chrischan_spotted_and_spoke_to_us/ ([https://archive.ph/XFB7T archive])</ref> battychaosgoblin described Chris as being "very quick and fleeting" and "skiddish,"<ref>reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/comment/k1cfj5u/?context=8&depth=9</ref><ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/comment/k1cdvsv/?context=8&depth=9 ([https://archive.ph/wip/qIyBg archive])</ref> and described the interaction as the following:
{{quoteboxgreen|He even spoke to us, a half witted Eric Cartman joke regarding our little Cartman plush we fought to get out of a claw machine.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Couldn’t even snap a picture before he scampered off into the wilderness so we scoped out his car for photo evidence 💀}}

<center><gallery>
File:Soncihu 19-Sept-23 (reduced size).jpg|Front view of the Chevrolet Aveo.
</gallery></center>

The joke was apparently a poor impersonation of the ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKJprZqU_oU Respect My Authority!]'' scene from [[South Park]].<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/comment/k1c5nf0/?context=8&depth=9 ([https://archive.ph/wip/T5kbp archive])</ref>

When asked if Chris was with "his new gf" (referring to the woman from the Food Lion and Sheetz sightings, [[Flutter]]), battychaosgoblin provided the following response:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16n3enm/comment/k1c5kw7/ ([https://archive.ph/wip/BjpYV archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|No, however I think he went into this undisclosed video game store with her and another individual as stated by someone we know who works there}}

===CVS===
On the 17th, CVS employee and Reddit user justcuriousox claimed to have seen Chris at the CVS in Lynchburg and alleged the following (in reference to Chris and the woman companion (now known to be [[Flutter]]) who was first seen with him at Food Lion):<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16l24r8/comment/k1hpwh6/?context=8&depth=9 ([https://archive.ph/wip/m0STz archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|she was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time.}}

When asked for photo proof, justcuriousox posted a thread on the 20th, uploading two photos of Chris and the woman together, clarifying in a comment that the photos were of "Chris hugging the mystery girl close. Then him kissing mystery girl."

<center><gallery>
File:CWC CVS 17-Sept-2023 1.jpg|Oh...
File:CWC CVS 17-Sept-2023 2.jpg|'''''man...'''''
</gallery></center>

Justcuriousox claimed other details, such as that "[[Megan_Schroeder#Megan_Saga|she seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly]],"<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16o044p/totally_not_a_nurse_case_worker/k1hrr7n/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/wip/oXI7k archive])</ref> that Chris "seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was between my Co-Worker and the girl,"<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16o044p/totally_not_a_nurse_case_worker/k1i2hxu/?context=3</ref> and that the woman paid.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16o044p/totally_not_a_nurse_case_worker/k1i3k13/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/lEUZa archive]) ([https://archive.ph/wip/eHmg7 archive])</ref>

At least we have some potential confirmation he isn't fucking [[Barb|his mother]].

==October==
===River Ridge Mall===
On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was sighted by Reddit user merrymarigold at River Ridge Mall<ref>https://www.lynchburgvirginia.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Food-Hall-2021-WEB-102-1024x1004.jpg) ([https://archive.ph/wip/5URjA article])</ref> in Lynchburg, accompanied by [[Flutter]]. This sighting, shared 6 days later, provided us with our first clear photo of Flutter's face.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/172c59y/chris_and_girlfriend_in_lynchburg_va_oct_1st/ ([https://archive.ph/lxvP6 archive])</ref>

When asked how old the woman looks in real life, merrymarigold replied:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/172c59y/comment/k462buc/ ([https://archive.ph/2WvqI archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|My guess is probably in her 20's or maybe early 30s. I think her round face, hairstyle, and even the clothes make her seem younger.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc-oct2023.png
</gallery></center>

===Game Junkies===
On 3 [[October 2023]], Chris was sighted at the Game Junkies store in Roanoke. According to chemicalreligion, the redditor who posted the sighting, he purchased a ''[[Guitar Hero]] III'' controller.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16z5xox/chrischan_sighting_in_roanoke_va/ ([https://archive.ph/5rHF7 archive])</ref> Chemicalreligion also claimed to have engaged in conversation with Chris, that Chris did not have body odor,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16z5xox/chrischan_sighting_in_roanoke_va/k3crnc9/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/wip/Jg18G archive])</ref> and that [[Flutter]] was waiting in the car.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/16z5xox/chrischan_sighting_in_roanoke_va/k3dduoi/?context=3 ([https://archive.ph/wip/VdhBo archive])</ref>
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Roanoke 3Oct2023.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Walmart (October)===
On 24 [[October 2023]] Chris was spotted by u/Swizguard<ref>https://www.reddit.com/u/Swizguard/s/sts2t4Upyi ([https://archive.ph/wip/UDAVM archive])</ref>in a Walmart in Lynchburg<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/s/GHdWqcMW9t ([https://archive.ph/wip/03OgF archive])</ref>. Chris's cart contains a large box of Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets, four frozen Salisbury Steak meals from Banquet, four frozen Sweet and Sour Chicken meals from Banquet, a bag of frozen ravioli, what appears to be a bag of frozen french fries, and what appears to be a box of Eggo waffles. Chris himself is carrying what seems to be a sandwich wrap. He is also seen alone for the first time in a while.

<center><gallery>
File:WalmartOctober24.jpeg
</gallery></center>

==November==
===14 Branchland Court (November)===
On 7 [[November 2023]] Chris was allegedly spotted by u/Taxistheft98 at [[14 Branchland Court]], moving boxes into [[Son-chu|his car]]. u/Taxistheft98 also saw [[Barbara]] at the door, and may have heard [[Clover]]. The redditor also claimed to have had a chat with Chris, who talked about residing in [[Lynchburg, VA]] and having taken Barbara shopping earlier that day.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/17q65wn/believe_it_or_not/ ([https://archive.fo/9YtAG archive])</ref>

{{quotebox|I met Christine today. I was working around 15 minutes away from Branchland, so I stopped by to reminisce. Lo and behold, the new Soncihu car was there. I shit my pants in disbelief when Christine stepped out of the house with boxes to bring to the car. I got out, introduced myself, and made assurances that I would not take pictures. We had a 10 minute or so kind of awkward, but pleasant conversation. It was confirmed that Lynchburg is the new place of residence, but no other specifics were offered. Barb is still around and doing ok. It turns out that Christine was just grabbing some belongings, and took Barb shopping earlier in the day. I did see Barb at the door, and heard the bark/howl of an old beagle that I’ve heard so many times before. There were no mentions of sonichu/rosechu, but we did briefly talk about the new Sonic Lego sets. Manifesting was brought up, and I was blessed, and we shook hands before I left. Overall Christine seemed a little nervous, but maybe happy to have a normal/friendly conversation. I took no pictures as I knew if I did, the conversation would be over, so you just have my word here. I am still in disbelief over it all.

Oh, and the [[medallion]] was being worn!}}

In a later livestream, Chris responded to a superchat who talked about having met him; Chris reciprocated that it had been nice to meet too.<ref>[[Simple Existential Q&A]] at 9:49</ref> u/Taxistheft98 claimed to be the one behind the superchat.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/17sjaz6/chris_seemingly_took_barb_shopping_recently/ ([https://archive.fo/ZVjiy archive])</ref>

===Walmart (November)===
On 24 [[November 2023]] Chris was spotted by u/Taxistheft98 at a [[Walmart]] in [[Lynchburg, VA]]. In a photo, taken through the Redditor's windshield, Chris is seen putting his shopping bags away into his car.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1830k69/christine_at_a_walmart_in_lynchburg_va/ ([https://archive.fo/lOpfP archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:CWC-Walmart-24Nov2023.jpg ‎
</gallery></center>

==December==
===Boonsboro Shopping Center===
On 3 [[December 2023]] Chris's [[Chevrolet Aveo]] was spotted at the shopping center in [[Lynchburg, VA]].<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18a5bze/sighting_in_lynchburg_va_12323/ ([https://archive.fo/eL16g archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Lynchburg, VA, Boonsboro Shopping Center - 3Dec23.jpg ‎
</gallery></center>

===Greene County Sheriff's Office===
On 5 [[December 2023]] Chris was spotted and photographed while at the Greene County Sheriff's Office by /u/Overall_Air_5547, who said, "as far as my understanding, he was trying to reclaim items of his that the sheriffs office has in their possession."<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18cbk4b/chris_spotted_yesterday_in_greene_county_va/ ([https://archive.fo/owWGC archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:CWC Greene County Sheriff's Office 5 December 2023 1.jpg
File:CWC Greene County Sheriff's Office 5 December 2023 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

===UPS Store===
On 16 [[December 2023]] Chris was spotted at a UPS Store. u/Illustrious_Orb, a UPS Store employee,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/user/Illustrious_Orb/ ([https://archive.fo/bOp9D archive])</ref> used the store's security system to take still images of Chris and uploaded those to Reddit.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18kb58i/spotted_at_my_store_today/ ([https://archive.fo/uKzCQ archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:CWC UPS Store December 16, 2023 2.png
File:CWC UPSStore December 16, 2023 1.png
File:CWC UPSStore December 16, 2023 3.png
File:CWC UPSStore December 16, 2023 4.png
</gallery></center>

===Richmond International Airport===
On 20 [[December 2023]] at approximately 7:30 pm local time, user Agreeable_Caramel455 recorded a short video of Chris and presumably Flutter heading towards the baggage claim area at Richmond International Airport. The video was shared the next day on r/ChrisChanSonichuSFW.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichuSFW/comments/18ntv2e/at_airport_with_girl/ ([https://archive.fo/FUr16 archive])</ref>

The Reddit user later wrote, in response to a question about the woman in the video:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18nunq2/at_airport_with_girl/ked3zty/ ([https://archive.fo/vNYUL archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}

Agreeable_Caramel455 later realized that his phone, which records calls, had picked up Chris shouting Flutter's name. He posted the recording to Vocaroo.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichuSFW/comments/18p2wwj/flutter_update/ ([https://archive.ph/vAWBd archive])</ref><ref>https://vocaroo.com/1e6utSFknjOZ ([https://archive.ph/QwskD archive])</ref> The name which Chris shouts in the recording has been interpreted variously as "Allen", "Alice", "Allie", "Alex" and other ways (or perhaps a mispronunciation of Flutter's rumored name Auli):

[[File:Chris allegedly shouting Flutter's name 20 December 2023.mp3]]

On 5 [[January 2024]], Agreeable_Caramel455 provided some additional details about the flight in messages to [[Kiwi Farms]] user Zeus Blue Thunder, along with a screenshot of his digital boarding pass for proof:<ref>https://kiwifarms.hk/threads/more-post-jail-sightings-megathread.165054/page-219#post-17459732 ([https://archive.ph/wip/VT19o archive])</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|The girl seemed very shy, she was also in the wrong seat and had to be asked to move

Almost like she wasn't used to flying or something

I was late to the gate so I never saw her until boarding, she wore a mask the whole time, and never spoke}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Her seat that she originally took was 32 d (or f?) But they moved her to 33 d or f, it was an aisle seat, im not exactly sure what was going on there tbh}}

Agreeable_Caramel455 also stated that their flight departed from {{w|Charlotte Douglas International Airport}}, a major airline hub serving many locations throughout the United States and abroad. Flutter's original point of departure is unknown.

====Video====
A video clip was recorded and originally uploaded to Streamable.<ref>https://streamable.com/h1iez5 ([https://archive.fo/bLY2w archive])</ref>

{{Infobox/video
| name =
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4hwlEWS1SjU}}
| stardate =
| style =
| saga = {{Flutter|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Transformers - Past Ideas Reemerging#Part 1|Transformers - Past Ideas Reemerging]]
| next = [[December 2023 livestreams#Over the shoulder colouring stream|Over the shoulder colouring stream]]
}}

====Transcript====
''[Chris is having a conversation with Flutter; the conversation is unintelligible until 0:33.]''

'''Chris:''' ...so good.

'''Agreeable_Caramel455:''' Hey, excuse me. I'm sorry to be rude, I know that you probably get noticed all the time. I'm not...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, no pictures, please.

'''Agreeable Caramel:''' No pictures? I'm just saying I really love ''Sonichu'', man.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Thank you very much.

'''Agreeable Caramel:''' It's nice to meet you, Christine.

===Sheetz===
On 20 [[December 2023]] Chris was spotted and photographed at a [[Sheetz]] in Henrico County, Virginia by Reddit user mattt1123.

A woman, later confirmed [[Flutter]], appears to be in the car with him. Most likely, this picture was taken after Chris picked her up from the Richmond International Airport. <ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18ncqzu/spotted_in_the_car_next_to_me_at_a_gas_station/ ([https://archive.fo/XWhA8 archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:CWC - Sheetz-20Dec2023 1.jpg
File:CWC - Sheetz-20Dec2023 2.jpg
File:CWC - Sheetz-20Dec2023 3.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant===
On 21 [[December 2023]] Chris and [[Flutter]] were spotted and photographed by [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]] user JacksonStarship while eating dinner at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in [[Lynchburg, VA]].<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/spotted_chris_at_isabellas_italian_restaurant/ ([https://archive.fo/XSdpU archive])</ref> JacksonStarship claimed that Flutter paid for the dinner and that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler."<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kflraz4/ ([https://archive.fo/nntOQ archive])</ref> The two also apparently shared cake and dessert, with Chris allegedly hand-feeding Flutter.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kflsoji/ ([https://archive.fo/2qXbG archive])</ref> Chris was notably wearing a near replica of [[The Classic#Replica|The Classic]].

JacksonStarship also claimed that Flutter was not noticeably mentally handicapped, did not appear to be [[Pedofork|underage]], did not speak with an accent,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kfm16ta/ ([https://archive.ph/4rkYL archive])</ref> and was keeping Chris in check. He alleged that Chris was being a nuisance to staff and Flutter prevented him from doing so further, and that she also pulled him away from talking to random people,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/spotted_chris_at_isabellas_italian_restaurant/kflxmgc/ ([https://archive.fo/NwCpL archive])</ref><ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/spotted_chris_at_isabellas_italian_restaurant/kflzl4j/ ([https://archive.fo/xmbX5 archive])</ref> describing a latter incident as Chris supposedly saying, “a family night, that’s nice,” to a passing family and Flutter pulling Chris through the door.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kfly0xj/ ([https://archive.fo/tJs7P archive])</ref>

Finally, JacksonStarship followed Chris and Flutter<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kfm2ewr/ ([https://archive.fo/A7El6 archive])</ref> to the parking lot, asking Chris to take a photo with him, which Chris politely declined. JacksonStarship then claimed to be a huge fan and asked to shake his hand, which Chris obliged. JacksonStarship asked again if he could take Chris's photo, to which both Chris and Flutter started to get angry. According to JacksonStarship, Chris started yelling and made "a bit of a scene" while Flutter grumbled and pulled him away and the two of them walked away together.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18upgdp/comment/kflz00h/ ([https://archive.fo/0RG5Z archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
Chris&FlutterItalianRestaurantDecember2023 1.png
Chris&FlutterItalianRestaurantDecember2023 2.png
Chris&FlutterParkingLotDecember2023.png
</gallery></center>

==Post-jail online sightings==
*[[Helena_Fiorenza#Post-jail]]
*[[HEXBox#He likes it for real now]]
*[[PlayStation_consoles#PS5]]
*[[DeviantART#Post-jail]]
*[[Twitter#Post-jail_activity]]
*[[PlayStation Network#Post-jail activity]]
*[[Pokémon GO#Post-jail]]
*[[Nintendo#Nintendo Switch]]

==Fan art==
{{collapsible
|Fan art
|
<center><gallery>
Image:CWC 2023.jpeg|Artist's depiction of Chris on the run
Image:Return of CWC.jpeg|''{{w|Without Me (Eminem song)|Guess who's back...}}''
Image:82ic0u6ubrxa1.png|Caught!
Image:TxyeB1ql.png|The rise of Ween-Mart
Image:Ydow809ej5ya1.png|Artist's depiction of the CWCfoot sighting
Image:CWC-EdBoySenpai (photoshopped).png|😱
Image:R2srik08dcya1.jpg|CWCptid hunting
Image:84n46ojaqlya1.png|What some expect to happen upon getting a photo of Chris
Image:S5dnd9h3lfza1.png|The meeting of the century
Image:U8l5no8vjv0b1.png|The Adversary
Image:L5p2e32akw2b1.png|Among the living
Image:54wbwuxy383b1.png|The duality of '''WO'''man
Image:D9hrx3bqyn4b1.jpg|The hat origin story
</gallery></center>
}}

==See also==

===Files on Chris's incest charge===
*[[Jail Saga#Court proceedings (J&DR Court)]]
*[[Jail Saga#Court proceedings (Circuit Court)]]
===Post-release 14 Branchland Court fan visits===
*[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]
*[[Fan visits#Anonymous Facebook Member]]
*[[Fan visits#FaithlessnessSad5791 (AKA Barb sighting)]]
*[[Fan visits#Aggravating Art (2023)]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{References}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{Sightings}}
{{The Internet}}

[[Category:2023]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2023]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category: Lost Media]]

July 2026 Cameo videos

2026-07-20T19:12:15Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Video Archive */

{{Transcript}}

This page lists [[Cameo]] videos that Chris was paid to do, released [[July 2026]].

==Congratulations Gabe Smith==
Tagged as "Other for Gabe Smith"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a491c0fbd2702838e552bc6</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Congratulations Gabe Smith
| video = {{#ev:youtube|50AQXVvMLKg}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Gwenmi Mikoto - Extended Final]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Corbin's Birthday|Corbin's Birthday]]
}}

==Corbin's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Corbin"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a492494c6a95cc4e1a83ae4</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Corbin's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|U1piQga6M_4}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Congratulations Gabe Smith|Congratulations Gabe Smith]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Pep Talk for Gavin|Pep Talk for Gavin]]
}}

==Pep Talk for Gavin==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Gavin"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a49558a381054fe8f1a4d7e</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pep Talk for Gavin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aBUv3ubCthE}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Corbin's Birthday|Corbin's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Julie Harper's Birthday|Julie Harper's Birthday]]
}}

==Julie Harper's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Julie Harper"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a49ea6db274bdb830407403</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Julie Harper's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yDSebbMryGA}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Pep Talk for Gavin|Pep Talk for Gavin]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#The Merge is here|The Merge is here]]
}}

==[[Dimensional Merge|The Merge]] is here==
Tagged as "Other for Robert"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4a6508b274bdb830612ff9</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = The Merge is here
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cl_bBbbybbE}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Julie Harper's Birthday|Julie Harper's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Nectali Got A Job|Nectali Got A Job]]
}}

==Nectali Got A Job==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Nectali"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4b273941c1e2fdf092d2f1</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Nectali Got A Job
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Rkfi2CG9lDM}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#The Merge is here|The Merge is here]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Luke's Birthday|Luke's Birthday]]
}}

==Luke's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Luke"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4be58b199404e4b8defeec</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Luke's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XjQ_SEYATv4}}
| stardate = 6 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Nectali Got A Job|Nectali Got A Job]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary|Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary]]
}}

==Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary==
Tagged as "Other for Cole"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4c82d4371527075d7ae9b2</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 7 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Luke's Birthday|Luke's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Get That Car Working|Get That Car Working]]
}}

==Get That Car Working==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Alik Justin Juan"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4d738524e85e8f0077d40a</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Get That Car Working
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 7 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary|Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Mateo's Birthday|Mateo's Birthday]]
}}

==Mateo's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Mateo"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4f06c43a473f09a8116580</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Mateo's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 8 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Get That Car Working|Get That Car Working]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Chew On Your Microphones|Don't Chew On Your Microphones]]
}}

==Don't Chew On Your Microphones==
Most likely Tagged as "Pep Talk for The Habibis"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a51b76a7a0bc13520b09ffe</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Chew On Your Microphones
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 10 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Mateo's Birthday|Mateo's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Be Greedy Gordon|Don't Be Greedy Gordon]]
}}

==Don't Be Greedy Gordon==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for Gordon my boss"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a51cbed1b5ba68d38f1ec97</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Be Greedy Gordon
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Chew On Your Microphones|Don't Chew On Your Microphones]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#JD and Rae Anniversary|JD and Rae Anniversary]]
}}

==JD and Rae Anniversary==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for JD"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a52aa486c17762660b714d9</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = JD and Rae Anniversary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Be Greedy Gordon|Don't Be Greedy Gordon]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Willys Fanland's Birthday|Willys Fanland's Birthday]]
}}

===Response===
The commissioner left a review:
{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Rae|Misgendered me when i added the pronouns 😅😅😅}}

==Willys Fanland's Birthday==
Posted to Mark Grayson's TikTok on 11 July 2026.<ref>https://www.tiktok.com/@mr.invincible2008/video/7661484515474394382</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Willys Fanland's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0jrcsWsFBOM}}
| stardate = most likely 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#JD and Rae Anniversary|JD and Rae Anniversary]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Jerry's Fifth Roast|Jerry's Fifth Roast]]
}}

==Jerry's Fifth Roast==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for Jerry"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a532b0c60e34bc69414ef79</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Jerry's Fifth Roast
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style =
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Willys Fanland's Birthday|Willys Fanland's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Sterling McRobbie's Birthday|Sterling McRobbie's Birthday]]
}}

===Response===
The commissioner left a review:
{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Never Pass Your Torch|Chris did not read it out loud at all. I said thank you for helping us spread the marriage advice but he’s like nope! Not gonna happen! I’m not reading it! Chris does not like the marriage advice at all!}}

==Sterling McRobbie's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Sterling McRobbie"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a54ee3d558da63cd6435f2f</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sterling McRobbie's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 13 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Jerry's Fifth Roast|Jerry's Fifth Roast]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Saul's Birthday|Saul's Birthday]]
}}

==Saul's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for saul salas"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a57d13d9e9d7db8d5c5a6af</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Saul's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 15 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Sterling McRobbie's Birthday|Sterling McRobbie's Birthday]]
| next = [[JCWCSP's old Nintendo Switch 1 For Sale on Cwclight]]
}}

=Video Archive=
These cameo videos have been backed up on Proton Drive. All videos uploaded as of 20 July. Ping @fullnameunknown in the CWCki Discord if a video is missing from the archive.

View them here: [https://drive.proton.me/urls/3JG2ER8244#IDpct0xSpdvR]

{{References}}
{{Paid Videos}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2026]]

July 2026 Cameo videos

2026-07-20T19:11:08Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{Transcript}}

This page lists [[Cameo]] videos that Chris was paid to do, released [[July 2026]].

==Congratulations Gabe Smith==
Tagged as "Other for Gabe Smith"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a491c0fbd2702838e552bc6</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Congratulations Gabe Smith
| video = {{#ev:youtube|50AQXVvMLKg}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Gwenmi Mikoto - Extended Final]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Corbin's Birthday|Corbin's Birthday]]
}}

==Corbin's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Corbin"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a492494c6a95cc4e1a83ae4</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Corbin's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|U1piQga6M_4}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Congratulations Gabe Smith|Congratulations Gabe Smith]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Pep Talk for Gavin|Pep Talk for Gavin]]
}}

==Pep Talk for Gavin==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Gavin"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a49558a381054fe8f1a4d7e</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pep Talk for Gavin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aBUv3ubCthE}}
| stardate = 4 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Corbin's Birthday|Corbin's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Julie Harper's Birthday|Julie Harper's Birthday]]
}}

==Julie Harper's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Julie Harper"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a49ea6db274bdb830407403</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Julie Harper's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yDSebbMryGA}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Pep Talk for Gavin|Pep Talk for Gavin]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#The Merge is here|The Merge is here]]
}}

==[[Dimensional Merge|The Merge]] is here==
Tagged as "Other for Robert"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4a6508b274bdb830612ff9</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = The Merge is here
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cl_bBbbybbE}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Julie Harper's Birthday|Julie Harper's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Nectali Got A Job|Nectali Got A Job]]
}}

==Nectali Got A Job==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Nectali"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4b273941c1e2fdf092d2f1</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Nectali Got A Job
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Rkfi2CG9lDM}}
| stardate = 5 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#The Merge is here|The Merge is here]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Luke's Birthday|Luke's Birthday]]
}}

==Luke's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Luke"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4be58b199404e4b8defeec</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Luke's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XjQ_SEYATv4}}
| stardate = 6 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Nectali Got A Job|Nectali Got A Job]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary|Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary]]
}}

==Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary==
Tagged as "Other for Cole"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4c82d4371527075d7ae9b2</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 7 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Luke's Birthday|Luke's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Get That Car Working|Get That Car Working]]
}}

==Get That Car Working==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Alik Justin Juan"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4d738524e85e8f0077d40a</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Get That Car Working
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 7 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary|Carson and Cole 8-Month Anniversary]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Mateo's Birthday|Mateo's Birthday]]
}}

==Mateo's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Mateo"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a4f06c43a473f09a8116580</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Mateo's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 8 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Get That Car Working|Get That Car Working]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Chew On Your Microphones|Don't Chew On Your Microphones]]
}}

==Don't Chew On Your Microphones==
Most likely Tagged as "Pep Talk for The Habibis"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a51b76a7a0bc13520b09ffe</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Chew On Your Microphones
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 10 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Mateo's Birthday|Mateo's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Be Greedy Gordon|Don't Be Greedy Gordon]]
}}

==Don't Be Greedy Gordon==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for Gordon my boss"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a51cbed1b5ba68d38f1ec97</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Be Greedy Gordon
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Chew On Your Microphones|Don't Chew On Your Microphones]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#JD and Rae Anniversary|JD and Rae Anniversary]]
}}

==JD and Rae Anniversary==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for JD"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a52aa486c17762660b714d9</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = JD and Rae Anniversary
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Don't Be Greedy Gordon|Don't Be Greedy Gordon]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Willys Fanland's Birthday|Willys Fanland's Birthday]]
}}

===Response===
The commissioner left a review:
{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Rae|Misgendered me when i added the pronouns 😅😅😅}}

==Willys Fanland's Birthday==
Posted to Mark Grayson's TikTok on 11 July 2026.<ref>https://www.tiktok.com/@mr.invincible2008/video/7661484515474394382</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Willys Fanland's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0jrcsWsFBOM}}
| stardate = most likely 11 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#JD and Rae Anniversary|JD and Rae Anniversary]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Jerry's Fifth Roast|Jerry's Fifth Roast]]
}}

==Jerry's Fifth Roast==
Most likely Tagged as "Other for Jerry"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a532b0c60e34bc69414ef79</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Jerry's Fifth Roast
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style =
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Willys Fanland's Birthday|Willys Fanland's Birthday]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Sterling McRobbie's Birthday|Sterling McRobbie's Birthday]]
}}

===Response===
The commissioner left a review:
{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Never Pass Your Torch|Chris did not read it out loud at all. I said thank you for helping us spread the marriage advice but he’s like nope! Not gonna happen! I’m not reading it! Chris does not like the marriage advice at all!}}

==Sterling McRobbie's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for Sterling McRobbie"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a54ee3d558da63cd6435f2f</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sterling McRobbie's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 13 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Jerry's Fifth Roast|Jerry's Fifth Roast]]
| next = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Saul's Birthday|Saul's Birthday]]
}}

==Saul's Birthday==
Most likely Tagged as "Birthday for saul salas"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/6a57d13d9e9d7db8d5c5a6af</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Saul's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 15 [[July 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[July 2026 Cameo videos#Sterling McRobbie's Birthday|Sterling McRobbie's Birthday]]
| next = [[JCWCSP's old Nintendo Switch 1 For Sale on Cwclight]]
}}

=Video Archive=
These cameo videos have been backed up on Proton Drive [[https://drive.proton.me/urls/3JG2ER8244#IDpct0xSpdvR|here]]. All videos uploaded as of 20 July. Ping @fullnameunknown in the CWCki Discord if a video is missing from the archive.

{{References}}
{{Paid Videos}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2026]]

Finland

2026-07-20T04:10:01Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Trips to Finland */

[[File:Chris Finland.jpeg|thumb|200px|Chris in Helsinki, Finland shopping at Normal]]
{{quote|I have not been to Finland.|Chris<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I Lied when I was asked about not being in certain places where I was bigfoot photographed. I am not at liberty to talk about those experiences or individuals online. So, Of Course I Lied with that. And I have LOTS to talk about, eventually, if not never about all of that.|Chris, almost admitting it<ref>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref>}}

'''Finland''' (Finnish: ''Suomi'') is a northern European country which borders [[Russia]], {{w|Norway}} and [[PewDiePie|Sweden]]. [[Chris]] has traveled to the country on at least eight occasions since [[2024]], making it the only place outside the [[United States]] which he is known to have visited (not counting [[Dimensions|interdimensional]] [[CWCville|excursions]]). On the first four trips, he was spotted with [[Flutter]] at shopping centers in the capital city of '''{{w|Helsinki}}'''. On the fifth trip, he was spotted shopping with Flutter at a market in '''{{w|Rauma, Finland|Rauma}}'''.

==Background==
Chris's first encounter with Finland was in [[Mailbag 13]], where a fan wrote in under the name "Erik Pikkuvikainen" (a parody of Finnish school shooter [[Wikipedia:Jokela school shooting|Pekka-Eric Auvinen]].)

In [[October 2023]], Chris joined the language-learning app [[Duolingo]], where he focused heavily on learning Finnish.

Many observers have theorized that Flutter may be Finnish or Finnish-American; she and Chris were first seen in public together in [[September 2023]], a month before Chris began studying Finnish on Duolingo. Additionally, Flutter was observed in [[December 2023]] flying from {{w|Charlotte Douglas International Airport}} to {{w|Richmond International Airport}}, where she was picked up by Chris. Charlotte Douglas is a major airline hub with service to Helsinki, which lends credence to the hypothesis that she lives in Finland when not visiting Chris.

In [[July 2025]], a Reddit user spotted Chris with Flutter shopping at a market in Rauma, Finland, and reported that he was "talking to a cashier at the booth, clumsily trying to speak finnish but then asked for english."<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland]]</ref> Rauma is located approximately 255 kilometers (or 160 miles) from Helsinki, a major population center, and is also not a very notable town, having only about 30,000 residents. This makes Chris's presence there a mystery.

===Secrecy and denial===
For obvious reasons, Chris tries his best to maintain a semblance of a private life and protect people he believes to be his [[friends]]. Seemingly motivated by not [[dox]]ing his [[gal pal]] (and possibly [[sweetheart]]) Flutter, Chris has not once ''ever'' publicly mentioned or admitted to going to Finland.

Chris is seemingly eager to mention his using [[Duolingo]],<ref>[[December 2023 social media posts#Duolingo]]</ref><ref>[[January 2024 social media posts#Duolingo 100-day streak]]</ref><ref>[[AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan]]</ref> but does not like to specify which language he is learning.<ref>[[January 2024 social media posts#Evading question]]</ref> On 11 [[November 2023]], Chris posted to Twitter to "comment that I have been enjoying Duolingo in freshening up my other language," and give feedback about their coverage of conjugations.<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Duolingo]]</ref> In a [[YouTube]] livestream on 20 November 2023, Chris recommended using Duolingo to "expand your mental abilities" by studying "an alternative second language," though recommended looking elsewhere for studying conjugations.<ref>[[First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️]]</ref> In a YouTube livestream on 17 [[February 2024]], when asked if he was learning Finnish currently and why, Chris replied with "I don't know what you're talking about. What're you talking about, guy?"<ref>[[February 2024 livestreams#Part 2]]</ref>
[[File:Cwc-may2024.jpg|thumb|right|This is definitely [[Disguises|not]] Chris, it must be a look-alike that also sounds exactly like him. [[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25|"I was not in Dallas airport at that time."]]]]
In [[May 2025]], when confronted about Flutter and Finland in a supposedly private call with a donor, Chris outright denied both traveling to Finland and studying the language on Duolingo, despite the photographic evidence.<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25#Transcript]]</ref> Chris tried to claim that he hadn't been using Duolingo, and had only used it mainly for learning [[math]], although his publicly viewable statistics on his profile immediately shuts down this lie. He also denied being previously seen at the [[Texas|Dallas]] airport, but did however admit to residing in [[Big Island, Virginia]] after some pressure.

Ever since his first trip, Chris's social media activity regularly slows down a bit while he is away in the country (see [[April 2024 social media posts|April 2024]] and [[June 2026 social media posts]] for obvious examples), and a prepared backlog of prerecorded videos usually release on a schedule. Chris also avoids recording videos entirely while in Finland, and does this in an attempt to cover up his absence and make nothing seem out of the ordinary. In [[April 2026]], after a commenter pointed this out, Chris angrily dismissed the notion, though unconvincingly, basically arguing that he isn't ''always'' in Finland when he releases a prerecorded video, and that [[Emgo316]] also releases content on a schedule (a rather irrelevant point).<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Reply to evanbrott827]]</ref>

In [[February 2026]], Chris confessed to various sins in hopes of redeeming himself, one of which being that he had "Lied when I was asked about not being in certain places where I was bigfoot photographed," which he then rationalized by writing "I am not at liberty to talk about those experiences or individuals online."<ref>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref> Still, Chris refuses to talk about Finland or traveling at all, although he has now seemingly alluded to opening up about it being an uncertain possibility.

===Superdry===
'''Superdry Limited''' (formerly stylised as '''SUPERDRY®︎冒険魂''') is a British [[Chris and fashion|clothing company]], and owner of the '''Superdry & Co''' label. Since 2024, Chris sometimes wears a blue shirt or hoodie which reads "Superdry" on the front, regularly in videos or out in public. Likely unbeknownst to Chris, it serves as more circumstantial evidence that he has been to Finland, as there are actually 0 Superdry locations in Virginia. There was, however, a Superdry location at the Mall of Tripla until their lease expired in [[September 2025]]. Superdry is also widely more known and successful in Europe than in the United States. Flutter herself has also been seen wearing a very similar Superdry shirt.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Walmart (August)]]</ref>

==Trips to Finland==

===First Trip (Spring 2024)===
[[File:Chris and Flutter holding hands April 2024.gif|thumb|right|Chris and Flutter caught holding hands. ''B-but it's not like I like her or anything, b-baka!'']]
In [[April 2024]], Chris and [[Flutter]] were spotted and briefly filmed shopping at Kauppakeskus Arabia (AKA Arabia Shopping Centre) in Helsinki, although this sighting was not made public until [[October 2024]] as the individual who spotted them was not certain that it was them. The individual stated that Chris was speaking English in the store rather than Finnish.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

A photo taken in [[April 2024]] of Chris and Flutter at the '''Mall of Tripla''' in Helsinki would be made public in [[November 2024]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

On 30 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were unwittingly recorded attending the opening day of '''{{w|Linnanmäki}}''' (the oldest and most popular amusement park in Finland, located in Helsinki) in the background of a random YouTube user's video.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> Over a year later in [[June 2025]], Chris accidentally partially revealed a picture of himself at the amusement park,<ref>[[June 2025 social media posts#Everybody loves my Transformers reviews]]</ref> which lead to the previously mentioned footage being found by a [[CWCki]] editor.

Chris was subsequently spotted at {{w|Dallas Fort Worth International Airport}} on 24 [[May 2024]],<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Dallas Airport]]</ref> wearing the same coat. Dallas Fort Worth is another major airline hub with direct flights to Helsinki, so it is likely that Chris had a layover there on his way back to Virginia.

===Second Trip (Fall 2024)===
On 27 [[September 2024]], Chris was seen in Helsinki by a store employee who leaked a cropped still from the security camera to a co-worker who then posted it to the Internet.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Normal, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> Locals believe the sighting was at the {{w|Mall of Tripla}}, in a store called [[Irony|Normal]].<ref>https://ylilauta.org/satunnainen/27nxqc ([https://archive.fo/sOdD5 archive])</ref> The following day, Chris and Flutter were spotted walking at the Mall of Tripla, by an observer who took a brief video clip.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland (September)]]</ref> In both sightings, Chris is wearing a bright blue Superdry sweatshirt with the hood up.

A user on the Finnish imageboard ylilauta alleged having seen Chris at the Linnanmaki amusement park at some point in the summer.<ref>https://ylilauta.org/satunnainen/27nxqc#post-258979838</ref>

Chris was seen back in the United States on 1 [[November 2024]] when he was spotted at a [[Wendy's]] in [[Lynchburg]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Wendy's]]</ref>

===Third Trip (Winter 2024)===
On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at {{w|Redi (shopping centre)|Redi}} in {{w|Kalasatama}}, {{w|Helsinki}}, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Redi, Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

Chris was not seen again after this (in any country) until 14 [[February 2025]], when he was spotted at a pet shop in Lynchburg.

===Fourth Trip (Spring 2025)===
[[File:April 2025 Finland (cropped).png|thumb|right|Chris and Flutter eating out. Definitely not a [[Dating|date]].]]
On the night of 29 [[March 2025]], Chris would be confirmed in the US for the last time as he had livestreamed from his home.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough]]</ref> On 4 [[April 2025]], a user on Kiwi Farms posted a photograph and details about spotting Chris on Wednesday, 2 April.<ref>[[Finland#Pasila, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> He was seen at the Mall of Tripla. On 17 April, Chris and Flutter were photographed eating at coffee shop Arnold's.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Arnold's, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> On 10 May, Chris would be confirmed to be back in the US as he had attended the Festival of Light in [[Lynchburg]], Virginia.<ref>[[List of conventions attended by Chris#Conventions Chris has successfully attended]]</ref>

===Fifth Trip (Summer 2025)===
On 23 [[July 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Rauma, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland]]</ref> This is notable for marking the first time Chris had been known to attempt to speak Finnish in public, and the first time he had been known to go outside of Helsinki.

Chris would be confirmed back in America on 13 [[August 2025]], as him and Flutter were spotted and recorded at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Walmart (August)]]</ref> However, they were also allegedly spotted by a Twitter user at a Walmart in Lynchburg almost two weeks prior on 1 August.<ref>https://archive.fo/2puwF</ref><ref>https://archive.fo/XkFgP</ref><ref>https://archive.fo/qURv2</ref>

===Sixth Trip (Fall 2025)===
On an unknown date in [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Finland by TikTok user kkaltsuu. The photo was not publicly shared until 29 [[December 2025]], in the comments section of another user's [[Sightings (2025)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland|post]].<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Finland (September)]]</ref>

Chris would not be spotted back in the US until 22 [[November 2025]], when he was spotted at [[Target]] in Lynchburg.<ref>Sightings (2025)#Target</ref>

===Seventh Trip (Winter 2025)===
A screenshot from Chris's phone on 5 [[December 2025]] shows the time as 18:33(6:33 PM) in it. At that moment, the local time in Virginia was 11:33 AM, which aligns with Finland's time zone rather than Virginia's. Also it shows the Finnish telecommunications company Elisa rather than Chris's usual carrier, T-Mobile. This suggests Chris was in Finland around this time.<ref>[[December 2025 social media posts#A Green Mile]]</ref> Another screenshot from 12 [[December 2025]] again showed Elisa as the carrier, this time showing 01:16(1:16 AM) in it instead of Virginia's time of 6:16 PM.<ref>[[December 2025 social media posts#Now, we rise]]</ref> A screenshot from 19 [[December 2025]] displays T-Mobile as the carrier, however, the time zone shown still aligns with Finland rather than Virginia.<ref>[[December 2025 social media posts#Pizza Bagels]]</ref>

On 29 [[December 2025]], [[TikTok]] user jugglieutenant posted a recording of Chris and Flutter on an escalator in the Forum Shopping Centre in Helsinki, Finland. This confirms Chris went to Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> Chris would be confirmed back in the United States by 5 [[January 2026]] so he could livestream himself attending the live premiere of his [[Transformers Legacy United Merged Full Compilation Movie Plus, aka Cwclight Review Movies|TLUM movie]] on YouTube.<ref>[[January 2026 livestreams]]</ref>

===Eighth Trip (Spring 2026)===
[[File:5 June 2026 TADC Last Act Movie 1.jpg|thumb|right|Totally not a movie date.]]
On 2 [[May 2026]], Chris announced on Cameo that he would be unavailable on the service until [[August 2026]] (though he would return about a month earlier than he had posted). On 22 May 2026, Reddit user Master_Bookkeeper_46 posted a picture of Chris and Flutter, yet again at the Forum Shopping Centre in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

Chris's [[Instagram]] would actually be hijacked during this trip (because of a viral exploit at the time), which wouldn't be resolved until hours later since Chris was already asleep due to the 7 hour time zone difference.<ref>[[May 2026 social media posts#Addressing the $SONICHU token]]</ref> On 5 [[June 2026]], Chris and Flutter went to the cinema in the Mall of Tripla together to watch ''{{w|The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act}}''; two photographs of them would be shared by Reddit user M3gisjonn3 the following day.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

Chris would be seen back in the United States at the Walmart in Madison Heights, Virginia on 1 [[July 2026]] by Reddit user CookMedical2932, who posted two pictures five days later.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> On 4 July, Chris returned to making Cameo videos.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Chris and Flutter in Finland, April 2024.mp400001.png|Chris and [[Flutter]] in Finland at the Arabia Shopping Centre during [[April 2024]]
File:Chris and Flutter in Finland April 2024 Zenzei sighting (cropped).jpg|Chris and Flutter after shopping at Normal, [[April 2024]]
File:Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki 30 April 2024 (cropped screencap).jpg|Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland, [[April 2024]]
File:Chris Finland.jpeg|Chris shopping at Normal in Helsinki, Finland, [[September 2024]]
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|Chris and Flutter at the Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, [[September 2024]]
File:Chris and Flutter in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland 17 December 2024.jpg|Chris and Flutter at Redi, Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland, [[December 2024]]
File:Chris in Finland sighting 2 April 2025.jpeg|Chris at a K-Market in Pasila, Helsinki, Finland, [[April 2025]]
File:April 2025 Finland (compressed).jpg|Chris and Flutter seen eating out in Helsinki, Finland, [[April 2025]]
File:Chris in Helsinki, Finland at Linnanmäki (7 June 2025 crop).jpg|Chris at {{w|Linnanmäki}} in Helsinki, Finland (The amusement park is open between end of April and October.)
File:Chris flutter rauma 1.jpg|Chris and Flutter seen browsing a market in Rauma, Finland, [[July 2025]]
File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg
File:Chris and Flutter September 2025.jpeg|Chris and Flutter, [[September 2025]]
File:Chris in Helsinki December 2025 (cropped screencap).png|Chris and Flutter (out of frame in front of Chris), [[December 2025]]
File:May22 2026 Helsinki cropped.jpeg|Chris and Flutter, [[May 2026]]
File:5 June 2026 TADC Last Act Movie 1.jpg|Chris and Flutter seen attending a movie, [[June 2026]]
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Flutter]]
*[[Duolingo]]
*[[Sightings (2024)]]
*[[Sightings (2025)]]
*[[Molvanîa]]

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Chandler Family Tree

2026-07-20T03:43:05Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Notable ancestors */

[[File:Chrisfamilytree.png|thumb|Chris' family tree up to his great-great-grandparents|600x600px]]
Chris's ideas about his ancestry and lineage unsurprisingly differ greatly from what is known to be true.

Family members who live(d) after Chris was born can be found at [[Minor Family Members]].

==What Chris Actually Believes==
This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] ''imagines'' to be related to him:

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston,}}
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|1st Earl of Portland}}
??? │
│ ???
│ │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
Robert Jean ???
Franklin-----------Hollomon │
Chandler Sr. │ Chandler ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
Patricia [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
Chandler---------[[Bob Chandler|Franklin]]------------[[Barbara Chandler|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob Chandler|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara Chandler|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[Chandler Cats|cats]] [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Weston]] [[Cole Smithey|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti Chandler|Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]] [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti Chandler|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │ [[Reginald Chandler|Chandler]]
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris naturally drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the extremely [[Daniel Weston|dubious]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 in [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 11.28.62 in Roanoke / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriett Ashby]] / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* Carrie Edna Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* Joseph Otto Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* Jean Holloman Chandler / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* Robert F. Chandler Sr. / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* Victoria Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* Robert Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* Frances Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* J Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Basic ancestry of Chris is depicted in this tree.

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

A full-sized family tree going back many generations [https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH can be viewed here]<ref>[https://www.geni.com/people/Robert-Chandler-Jr/6000000004391419048 Bob's Ancestors]</ref><ref>[https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Chandler-5468 Bob's Immediate Family]</ref><ref>[http://www.ellerfamilyassociation.com/getperson.php?personID=I141&tree=christian2 Chris's Maternal Grandmother]</ref><ref>[https://www.richmond.com/news/local/hanover/mechanicsville-local/obituaries/william-gryder/article_d1f3f188-3241-11e6-8986-bf6ec13073c1.html One of Chris's Maternal Uncles by Marriage]</ref>.

== Notable ancestors ==
This section lists Chris' ancestors in chronological order from most to least recent death. Ancestors who fought for the Confederate States of America are listed separately, in the "Dixiechus" section.

=== Robert Wynn ===
Barbara's maternal grandfather '''Robert Pettus Wynn''' (17 Nov 1882 - 20 Jan 1954) was allegedly a two-timing [[Alcohol|drunk]] and moonshiner who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/genealogy/roots/individual.html#118</ref> In his death certificate, his profession is given as [[tobacco]] farmer.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

=== John James Hollomon ===
[[File:John James Hollomon.jpg|thumb|right|150px|John James Hollomon in 1910]]
Bob's maternal grandfather '''John James Hollomon''' (3 May 1868 - 16 Mar 1950) <ref>[https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/10638068/john-james-hollomon]</ref> was born in {{w|Meigs County, Tennessee}} but lived most of his later life in {{w|Wylie, Texas}}, a city and suburb in {{w|Collin County, Texas|Collin County}} and {{w|Dallas}} respectively. He was a well-known local pharmacist in the Collin county for over 50 years. He married twice in his life, first to Mary Francis Hollomon (née Teer 10th March 1872 - 3 Jul 1914), the daughter of a doctor specializing in osteopathic, whom he had 4 children including Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother. In 1915 he married Helen E. Hollomon (née Nelms 10 Apr 1893 - 29 Oct 1972) with whom he had 3 more children including Bob's half uncle Dr. John James "JJ" Hollomon Jr (1917-1992). Bob reminisces that Hollomon gave him a straight razor "by means of [Hollomon's] last will and testament," and Bob instead broke it while using it as a screwdriver, which he later held onto this regret for decades well into his 60s because he believed Hollomon wanted him to have it as a personal item and value.

Notable enough, his father was an Esquire John Richmond Hollomon (1831 - 1899), a lawyer and attorney in the Meigs County area.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70362078/susanna-brady#:~:text=of%20her%20son%2C-,J.R.%20Hollomon%20Esq.,-of%20this%20county</ref> More notable enough, his grandfather Pleasant Hollomon (1803 - 1865), served in the {{w|Tennessee House of Representatives}} in the Meigs and {{w|Rhea County, Tennessee|Rhea}} counties from 1849 to 1851. A democrat, he was a constable of the 5th Civil district of Meigs county in 1836-1839, was a deputy sheriff of Meigs in early 1840s and a deputy and tax collector in 1845.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70361465/pleasant-hollomon</ref>

===Rev. Sidney Smith Chandler===
'''The Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler''' (1805 - September 1866) was a Baptist minister and clergyman in Alabama. He is Chris's great-great-great grandfather along his paternal line. Born in Georgia, his father died in 1816 when he was 11. He moved to Alabama in 1829 and became a Primitive Baptist Clergyman and Minster in Autauga County. He also was a slaveowner, owning one [[Kathleen|female slave]] in the 1850 slave census.

He later married Mary Lucinda Walker and later fathered 12 children, including Joseph and his brother Edmund. He died in September of 1866 just shortly after the end of the American Civil War. Two of his sons, James (1830-1862) and Edmund (1835-1865) would die fighting in the Civil War.

===Francis Weston===
'''Francis Weston Sr.''' (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838) was an English-born immigrant to the United States and a frontiersmen. He is Barbara's great-great-grandfather along her paternal line, making him Chris's maternal great-great-great-grandfather.

Born in {{w|Derbyshire}}, he had immigrated to [[Ohio]] by 1820 and married at {{w|Wheeling, West Virginia}} a year later to Grace Moore, an English-born American, whose parents were also an immigrants from Derbyshire. They had six out of seven children survived, the second oldest being Mary Ann Weston in 1825 and the youngest Joseph Edward "John" Weston in July 1836,<ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HY-6Q23-PTF?i=2&cc=1401638&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMXSB-9Q8 Joseph (listed as Edward Weston) with his three older siblings and mother Gracy in 1850 census)]</ref><ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9BS6-DF?i=8&cc=1473181&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMCPH-V55 Gracy Weston (Joseph's mother) in 1860 census with her son Francis]</ref> all in {{w|Augusta Township, Carroll County, Ohio|Augusta Township}}. Through Joseph, Francis's surname would be carried on to [[Barbara]], which, in turn, would serve as the basis for [[Chris|our hero]]'s middle name.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

According to newspapers, After immigrating to Augusta Township, Francis, a frontiersmen, built a homestead house of his and his family in a wilderness place with 2 other families surrounded by wild animals and forest. The homestead house was a shanty with puncheon floor and chimney made with sticks and clay. They mentioned about the one occasion Francis was chased by wolves in a forest when coming home from buying fresh meats. Francis would pass away at age 45 in March 1838, 2 years after his youngest son Joseph was born.

In a later pseudo-historical account of events by Barbara and Chris, Francis is replaced by a certain [[Daniel Weston]]. Unlike the historical Francis Weston, ''Daniel'' Weston travelled to North America in 1620 (a whole 2 centuries earlier than Francis), and has the honor of being of a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]] (whose {{w|Elizabeth I|only daughter}} died childless).

Francis' son, Francis Weston Jr, according to newspapers, was a "popular" and successful businessman and general merchant, owning iron and furnace company, and many other successful companies at Ohio, West Virginia and Missouri with a college education to his name. Through his daughter Jane, Francis Sr is the grandfather of {{w|Pierce County, Washington}}'s Superior Court judge & attorney William Oscar Chapman, who at the time of admitting to {{w|Ohio State Bar Association|Ohio bar}}, was in the same group of applicants with a later president of the United States {{w|William Howard Taft}}.

=== Captain Joseph Looney ===
Joseph Lewellyn Looney (abt.1740-1816) fought in the {{w|American Revolutionary War}} on the Patriot side. He fought in the {{w|Battle of Guilford Court House}} under major general [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene]].<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Looney-149</ref>

=== Polly Bowman ===
{{main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}
Chris has at least one [[Cherokee]] ancestor, about whom he absolutely knows nothing. The ancestor was introduced in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'', which was completed on 3 May 2005. The ancestor was long assumed to be nonexistent, but on 16 January 2025 - 19 years and 8 months later - the ancestor was discovered to be real by CWCki editor [[User:Cilria2|Cilria2]]. '''Polly Bowman "Cherokee Mother" Cherokee''' (abt 1703 to 1790) is Chris's 7th great-grandmother.

=== John Chandler and Elizabeth Lupo ===
Although there is no evidence that his mother's ancestors were on board the ''Mayflower'', Chris's paternal ancestors were among the first settlers of his home state of Virginia. Chris's direct male ancestor '''John Chandler''' (c. 1600-1657), a native of London, was an early settler of {{w|Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown}}, [[Virginia]], arriving in 1610 with a boat ''Hercules'', ten years before the ''Mayflower''.<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/John-Chandler-l/6000000008639070482</ref> John married the widow '''Elizabeth Lupo''' (née '''Bassano'''), a member of the illustrious {{w|Jeronimo Bassano|Bassano family}} of [[Chris and music|musicians]] who had been recruited from Venice by {{w|King Henry VIII}} to serve in his court (some have claimed that the Bassanos were of [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]] origin, but the jury is out). The Chandler family migrated southwest over the generations, passing through North Carolina and Georgia before settling in Alabama, Bob's home state.

John Chandler is the fifth great-grandfather of the Dixiechu Joseph Chandler, and the ninth great-grandfather of Chris.

===Christian Binkley===

It seems GodBear had some inspiration when he was dubbing the world's favorite autist. He fought all 7 years in the Revolutionary War in the Pennsylvania militia.

===Richard Baker===
{{w|Richard Baker (chronicler)|Richard Baker}} (c. 1568 – 18 February 1645) was a politician, historian and religious writer. He was the English author of the ''Chronicle of the Kings of England'' and other works.

He is the 12th great-grandfather of Chris on Bob's mother side.

===Edward, Thomas Palmer & Thomas Overbury===
Thanks to John Chandler's grandson's wife Elizabeth Palmer, Chris's 7th great-grandmother, some Christorians did research about her ancestors. Chris has three known ancestors, two of which are Chris descendent of, and other is distantly related.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-2791</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-533</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Chris is a descendant of his 10th great-grandfather '''{{w|Edward Palmer (d.1624)|Edward Palmer}}''' (c. 1555–1624) from {{w|Gloucestershire}}, England, a gentleman with antiquarian interests who was known for his [[Stamps|extensive collections]] such as Roman coins and is best remembered for purchasing the then unnamed {{w|Garrett Island}} in colony of Virginia (now Maryland) for his plan of establishing university at the island.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-544</ref>

Edward had a son whom Chris is also descendant from. '''{{w|Thomas Palmer (burgess)|Thomas Palmer}}''' settled at Jamestown, Virginia on a boat ''Tyger'' with his wife Joan Jordan and 11 years old daughter Priscilla in November 1621. Shortly after their arrival at Jamestown, the Palmers were nearly killed by the [[Cherokian Clan|Powhatans]] during the {{w|Indian massacre of 1622}}, but survived by living in {{w|Jordan Point, Virginia#Jordan's Journey: Beggars Bush|Jordan's Journey}} shelter residence. Thomas was a captain in command of a company of militia from {{w|Eppes Island|Shirley Hundred Island}} and was a member of {{w|House of Burgesses}} at Jamestown on October 16, 1629.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Perhaps notably, Thomas was a first cousin of [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_a_poet_and_lyricist|poet]] and [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_an_essayist|essayist]] '''{{w|Thomas Overbury}}''' through his father's sister Mary Palmer and her husband {{w|Nicholas Overbury}}. Overbury was known for his poem, ''A Wife'', and a victim of murder by poisoning which led to a scandalous trial.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Overbury-10</ref>

=== Sir James Croft ===
Sir {{w|James Croft}} (1518- 4 September 1590) was English politician, who was Lord Deputy of Ireland, and MP for Herefordshire in the Parliament of England, He is Chris 12th great-grandfather on his paternal side.

=== Hugh and Isabel Bardolf ===
[[Image:Chris Anne Boleyn.png|thumb|How Chris is related to Anne Boleyn.]]
'''Hugh Bardolf''' (c. 29 September 1259 - c. 20 September 1304) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bardolf-9</ref> and '''Isabel Bardolf''' (born '''Isabel Aguillon'''; c. 25 March 1258 - c. 28 May 1323) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>, Chris' 19th great-grandparents, were a medieval English couple who married in 1281. According to a Redditor's Wikitree research in 2022, they are Chris' most recent shared ancestors with [[Anne Boleyn]] (albeit on his father's side, not his mother's): they gave birth to Thomas (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, Margery around 1283, William in 1284, and Nicola (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) around 1294. This means that, although Chris is not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, he is indeed a distant relative. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>

In addition to being the source of Chris's distant connection with Anne Boleyn, Hugh Bardolf was the first nobleman of {{w|Baron Bardolf}}, a noble title in the {{w|Peerage of England}}. His wife Isabel was a member of the {{w|Aguillon family}} (of French origin), who were feudal landowners in England. Isabel's father, Sir Robert Aguillon (c. 1226 - 15 February 1286)<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-4</ref>, was a Sheriff of Surrey & Sussex County and a keeper of two castles in both counties.

Hugh Bardolf's descendants unite with those of John Chandler (b. 1600) in 1700, when Robert Chandler (John's grandson, 1659 - c. 1720) and his wife Elizabeth Palmer (Hugh's 10th great-granddaughter, b. 1664) give birth to Joseph Chandler (11 Aug 1700 - 11 Oct 1764), Chris' 6th great-grandparent, in {{w|New Kent, Virginia}}.

A stark contrast can be observed in the fact that Hugh's first child is the ancestor of prestigious nobility (namely Anne Boleyn and her daughter Elizabeth I, an actual queen of England), while Hugh's fourth and last child is the ancestor of our infamous protagonist.

== Dixiechus ==
"'''Dixiechus'''" is a nickname used by Christorians to describe ancestors of Chris who fought for the {{w|Confederate States of America}} during the {{w|American Civil War}}. It is a portmanteau of ''{{w|Dixie}}'' and ''[[Sonichu]]''. The first Dixiechu to be identified was Joseph Chandler, discovered by Kiwifarms user Meat Pickle on 20 December 2021. The term "Dixiechu" was proposed on the [[Official CWCki Server]] on 24 April 2024, by which point four Dixiechus had been identified.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris was asked if he may have had ancestors who fought for the Confederacy, at a time when Joseph Chandler (on his father's side) was the only known Dixiechu. In [[Jail Letter - 25 May 2022]], he denied that his father's ancestors had fought for the Confederacy, but conceded that his mother's ancestors may have done so. In 2024, Christorians discovered William Drury Thompson - a Dixiechu on the maternal side of Chris' ancestry - partially vindicating Chris' statement.

As of 2026, Christorians have identified 6 Dixiechus. Half are known to have sustained combat injuries. 2 hailed from Alabama, 2 from North Carolina, 1 from South Carolina, and 1 from Mississippi. Though [[Virginia]] was both the Confederacy's most populous state and stands as Chris' place or origin, it is not known to have spawned any Dixiechus.

A total of 1,082,119 people served the {{w|Confederate States Army}} during the civil war.<ref>https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/civil-war-facts</ref> Anecdotal evidence suggests that half of modern-day southerners have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy.<ref>There is no large-scale study of Confederate ancestry to the knowledge of this wiki, but genealogists familiar with this area tend to estimate a ballpark of 40-55%.[https://pastexplore.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/okay-so-you-have-civil-war-ancestors/][https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-todays-southern-US-population-actually-have-ancestors-who-fought-for-the-confederacy]</ref> In this light, Chris' Confederate heritage should be seen as reflecting the norm rather than his own eccentricity.

In chronological order from most to least recent death, the Dixiechus include:

=== Joseph Chandler ===
[[File:Joseph chandler.png|thumb|right|150px|Joseph Chandler in 1911]]
'''Joseph Chandler''' (14 April 1832 - January 1925) of {{w|Autauga County, Alabama}} is Chris's great-great-grandfather along his paternal line. Joseph Chandler enlisted in the Confederate Army as a private in May 1862. Serving in the unit {{w|38th Alabama Infantry Regiment}} at {{w|Fort Gaines, Alabama|Fort Gaines}}, he fought in the {{w|Battle of Mobile Bay}} before being paroled in April 1865 after the conclusion of the war and was later discharged in August of that year due to broken shoulder.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1487#post-10736839 A Kiwi Farms post with a record of Joseph Chandler]</ref><ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=0AA5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's professions after the war were farmer, shoe maker and largely a herb doctor.<ref>http://alagenealogy.com/Patriarchs/Chandler,%20Sidney%20Smith.htm#JOSEPH%20H.2%20CHANDLER</ref>

Joseph also had a younger brother Edmund (1835 - 1865, Chris's great-great-granduncle), who also fought for the Confederacy at [https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Camp_of_Instruction,_Talladega,_Alabama#:~:text=Talladega%20was%20one%20of%20two,would%20be%20obliged%20to%20enroll.| Camp of Instruction, Talladega, Alabama], died as a result during the war in 1865.<ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=C3A5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's two younger sons John (1876 - 1932) and Rufus (1880 - 1932), both were killed on March 21, 1932 in {{w|Chilton County, Alabama|Chilton County area}}, from the {{w|1932 Deep South tornado outbreak}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/106731994/john-tyler_morgan-chandler</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/26986157/rufus-sidney-chandler</ref>

=== Caleb Nelson Headley ===
[[File:CalebHeadley.png|thumb|right|150px|Caleb Headley]]

'''Caleb Nelson Headley''' (1847-1921) was born on the 8th of March 1845 (1846 or 1847 depending on which source) in Darlington County, South Carolina as the only son of Wills Headley and Rebecca Bell, Caleb's father Wills died when he was just 7 years old in 1854, and he was soon taken into the custody of James Huckabee (who would later become his stepfather), who taught the boy farming until he was 21 years old.

In 1863 when he was just 18 years old, he enlisted in the Confederate Army as part of the 63rd Alabama Regiment, Company H (They were also known as Second Alabama Reserve), he took part in fighting in Spanish Fort (he was wounded) and was discharged at his home (he was on furlough at the time) in May of 1865.

Shortly after the end of the war, he settled in Coosa County Alabama, in 1874 he married Caroline Louisa Estes when he was 28 and she was 24 at her father's house in Talladega, Alabama, He would have 8 children from 1874 to 1892 including Martha Headley (Bob's paternal grandmother), Caleb was a farmer for most of his life, in 1898 he attempted to run for a political seat in Alabama State Assembly as a Representative for Chilton County as independent but withdraw and then backed the Populist ticket for that seat.

Caleb would see his health worsen in his later years, he became nearly blind by his late 60s and by 1920 was living with his son Robert E. L Headley. He died on August 21st, 1921 in Shelby County, Alabama at age of 76.

=== William Teer ===
[[File:Willam Teer.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Image of William Teer. (Very likely to be authentic) <ref>This image was uploaded to findagrave in 2016; William Teer was not known to Christorians to be Chris' ancestor in 2016. Family trees from both 2017[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris%27s_family_tree_up_to_his_great_great_grandparents.png] and 2019[https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH] omit the ancestry of Bob's maternal grandmother. Furthermore, his biography on rootsweb uses a similar image.[https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~dougmay/genealogy/Wmteer.htm]</ref>]]
Bob's matrilineal great-grandfather, '''Dr. William Teer''' (March 29, 1837 - October 19, 1919), was born in {{w|Neshoba County, Mississippi}}, and grew up in {{w|Angelina County, Texas}} since he was 10 years old with his seven siblings. The family later relocated to {{w|Hopkins County, Texas|Hopkins County}} outside {{w|Cumby, Texas|Cumby}} in 1860, where he worked as a farmer before enlisting in the army for the Civil War.

In October 1861, aged 24, William and his two brothers James (1830 - 1863) and Wiley (1839 - 1862), enlisted in the Confederate Army in San Antonio. Serving in the 4th Texas Cavalry Regiment, William participated in the {{w|New Mexico campaign}} under {{w|Henry Hopkins Sibley|General Sibley}}. Both of his brothers died during the war; James died at a Union prison camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, in 1863. William and Wiley fought in the battles of {{w|Battle of Valverde|Valverde}} and later to {{w|Battle of Glorietta Pass|Glorietta Pass}}, where in April 1862, Wiley was reportedly "lost or killed" and William suffered serious injuries, including a shattered right arm, a damaged spleen, and later contracting hepatitis (It might be worth reflecting how close Teer was to dying at this point - a slightly different outcome could have prevented all of Christory a century before it began). After the capture of Texas Army's supply wagons by the US Army, they retreated, leaving William and other recovering soldiers at the {{w|Santa Fe, New Mexico|Santa Fe}} hospital before shortly being captured. He was later paroled in May 1862, returning to San Antonio. Due to his injuries and disability, he was honorably discharged from his unit by General {{w|Thomas Green (general)|Thomas Green}} in September 1863 and returned to his home in Cumby, working as a farmer despite his shattered right arm.

William was married four times throughout his life. In December 1862, he married Mary Frances Carraway of Alabama, who passed away in 1867. He then remarried Louisa Frances Spears of Tennesse, in 1868, but that marriage also ended early. In January 1871, he married Nancy Jane Coburn of {{w|Ashley County, Arkansas}}. From this marriage, he had seven children, including Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother and the wife of John James Hollomon. After Nancy's death in 1894, William remarried to Bettie King of {{w|Mount Pleasant, Texas|Mount Pleasant}} in March 1907 at age 70, and this marriage lasted until his death in 1919.

In November 1903, inspired by the nerve damage in his shattered right arm, William established himself as an {{w|osteopath}} doctor in {{w|Tyler, Texas}}, specializing in "Exophthalmic Goitre, Biliary Calculi (Gall Stones) Paralysis, and all Nervous Diseases." He became the president of the State Association of Drugless Doctors of Texas and advocated massaging and other holistic approaches to wellness. As a doctor in Tyler, he was described as a highly respected figure, endorsed by many prominent members of the city's society. After retiring, he resided at the Texas Confederate Home in Austin before moving back to Cumby in 1918, where he later passed away in October 1919 at his youngest daughter's {{w|Miller Grove, Texas|Miller Grove}} home caused by a second paralyzing stroke.

William was mentioned in a book titled "[https://archive.org/details/texanswhoworegra00john| Texans who Wore the Gray (1907)]", written by a Confederate officer, journalist, and author Sidney Smith Johnson (1840-1910). Johnson described William as "a brave Confederate soldier, a man of fine education, and a Christian gentleman."

=== Garnder E. Shearin ===
'''Garnder E. Shearin'''' (1836/1837 - 28 January 1901)<ref>https://digital.ncdcr.gov/Documents/Detail/shearin-gardner-e.-warren-county/1671784</ref><ref>https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-warren-record-gardner-early-shearin/521312/</ref> was a Confederate veteran from North Carolina. He married Martha in 1859. In May 1861, he enlisted in the Confederate army in Warren County, North Carolina, fighting in company B of North Carolina's 30th infantry regiment remaining in service until the end of the war in 1865.

An obituary to him reads: "I was not with him in the army but learned from others, that he was a faithful soldier. My association with him since the war enables me to say I never knew a kinder hearted or monre congenial natured man. Always ready to serve a friend."

He is ancestor of Chris via Barb's side of his ancestry.

=== Rufus Walker ===

'''Rufus Walker''' (1820-1895) was a Confederate soldier who served in Company H and came from Milton, Alabama, located in Autauga County. He became a prisoner of war after being surrendered by Lieutenant General Richard Taylor to Major E.R.S. Canby on May 4, 1865. Rufus was later paroled in Selma in June 1865.<ref>https://38thalabama.com/ndashv-to-zndash.html</ref>

According to the 1850 Census's Slave Report, Rufus Walker owned as many as '''twenty-one''' slaves before manumission in 1865. What benevolent people Chris is descended from!

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather, with the lineage as follows: Rufus Walker (1820-1895) > Mary Elizabeth Walker (1840-1887) > Joseph Chandler (1871-1947) > Robert F. Chandler Sr. (1906-1977) > Robert ("[[Bob]]") F. Chandler Jr. (1927-2011) > Chris

=== William Drury Thompson ===
'''William Drury Thompson''' (1814 - 17 May 1862) was a civil war enlistee from North Carolina, although it's unknown which side of the military force, (although there's a record suggesting he's a Confederate enlistee for North Carolina's Infantry 12th Regiment), died during his basic training in Richmond, Virginia due to illnesses, 2 months after enlisting.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/262604729/william-drury-thompson</ref>

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather. More specifically, he is the paternal grandfather of the maternal grandmother of Barbara.

==Ancestry.com content==
In [[January 2017]], a distant relative of Chris posted images to Kiwi Farms, on various documents relating to the Chandler family, acquired from Ancestry.com<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/</ref>

{{quotebox|Bob is apparently an only child, however Barbara has five deceased siblings and several more living ones.}}
{{quotebox|Most of Chris's ancestors were [[RandomSong1|farmers]], doing tasks that Chris would find back breaking.}}
{{quotebox|Chris, from what I gathered, is not 1/16 Cherokian. He is however 1/16 British and 1/8 French Canadian.}}
{{quotebox|His great great grandparent's from Northern Ireland.}}
The "Northern Irish" ancestor was Chris's great-great-grandmother Mary Weston (née McClintic, 31 Oct 1834 - 25 Dec 1910). Mary was born in the town of {{w|Omagh}} (whose name means "the [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]] plain" in Gaelic) in County Tyrone, in what is today {{w|Northern Ireland}}. She came to the United States between 1840 and 1850, likely as a result of the {{w|Irish Potato Famine}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/22502739/joseph-mcclintock</ref> She settled in Augusta, Ohio, where she married Joseph "John" Edward Weston, Chris's great-great-grandfather, in 1858, who was also from Augusta. Both later settled in {{w|Clarksville, Virginia}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/24279732/mary-weston</ref>

The "French Canadian" ancestor was Chris's great-grandmother Sarah Ann Weston (née {{w|Clan Hamilton|Hamilton}}, Apr 1867 - 25 Jan 1938), who was born in [[wikipedia:Huntingdon, Quebec|Huntingdon]], {{w|Quebec}} and came to Virginia with her family during the 1870s, settling near Red Oak.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/35318370/sarah-jane-weston</ref><ref>https://www.ancestry.com/discoveryui-content/view/6823228286:62476</ref> Although the majority of Quebeckers speak French, her surname and the fact that she was born in a predominantly English-speaking part of Quebec suggest that she belonged to the province's English-speaking minority. Moreover, her paternal and maternal grandparents were all born in [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scotland]], making her of entirely Scottish descent.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249266361/jane-hamilton</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249027191/daniel-hamilton</ref> Sarah is Chris's most recent immigrant ancestor.

<center><gallery>
File:RobertPettusWynnWW1Draft.jpg|Robert Wynn WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:JosephWW1.png|Joe Weston WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:RobertChandlerSrDraft.png|Bob's father's WW2 military draftee (1940).
File:RobertSr1940DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's father's military card on a physical detail (1940).
File:Bob&Parents.png|Bob and his parents, Jean Hollomon & Robert F. Chandler Sr., (early 1940s).
File:RobertPettusWynnOldManWW2DraftCard.jpg|Robert Wynn WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:RobertWynn1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Robert Wynn military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:JoeOttoWestonOldMan1942WW2DraftCard.jpg|Joe Weston WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:JoeWeston1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Joe Weston military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's military card draftee (1946) (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png| Bob's WW2 military card on a physical detail (1946) (written in 1945).
File:JohnJamesHollomonObituary1950.jpeg|John James Hollomon's newspaper obituary (1950).
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.
File:Robert Chandler Sr.png| Bob's father with his four youngest kids (1969)
File:Chandler family reunion 1975.png | Chandler Family Reunion (1975)
File:Robert f obit.jpeg| Bob's father obituary (1977)
File:JerryAndBarbDivorce.png|1980 1 7 - Barbara, Jerry divorce.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in Jacksonville State University dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barbara and her parents and siblings - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Cole Smithey's family tree.png|Cole Smithey's family tree.
File:David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.png|David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.
File:Savannah Chandler's family tree.png|Savannah Chandler's family tree.
File:2023ChrisDNATest.png|Chris's ancestry, showing him to be 100% pure cracker. [[Transgender|Also note the got-dang Y chromosome.]].
</gallery></center>

== See also ==

*[[Imaginary family]]
*[[Minor Family Members]]
*[[Weston Haiku]]

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Lists]]
{{Fantasies}}

Financhu Crisis

2026-07-20T03:06:16Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{quote|I do not feel I would be mentally suited for an application-required, long waits to be contacted or not contacted, "am I hired yet", under "The Man", Freaking job!!! Stop Telling me to "Get a Job". Gawd!!!|Chris, April 2017,<ref name=getajob>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job]]</ref> after his friends on Facebook refused to entertain his nonsense excuses for not having a job}}

{{quote|truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>}}

[[File:Please, Donate (720p).mp400001.png ‎|thumb|400px|Chris, begging for money, while standing in front of more than a thousand dollars' worth of Lego sets and toys.]]

The '''Financhu Crisis''' is a term coined by users from [[Kiwi Farms]] to describe the steep decline in the Chandler family's [[Chris and money|financial management]] beginning in early [[2016]]. Signs of the Chandlers' worsening finances were made apparent by the increasing amounts of begging videos and donation requests on [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]].

In June 2017, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] began to take his [[Patreon]] account more seriously and recommenced drawing Sonichu comic pages. He has gotten several hundred dollars per month for his efforts, and payments continued until 2 August 2021, when his Patreon account was shut down. As a result, begging had temporarily subsided.

In mid-2018, however, begging resumed, due to an alleged extortion plot by the [[Idea Guys]] which involved threatening to destroy Chris's imaginary land [[CWCville]] if he did not pay them. It is claimed by the [[Guard Dogs]] group that Chris paid the Idea Guys around $6,000 in the form of gift cards and video game accessories.<ref>[[The Chris-Chan Extortionists]]</ref> Chris and Barb were left on the brink of foreclosure and Chris repeatedly claimed to need assistance with buying enough food for his family.

By 2019, Chris [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|stopped caring]] about the Financhu Crisis, because of the [[Dimensional Merge]] and the generous backing from [[Aly Hirschberg]] and other [[financial enablers]]. Chris continued to beg, but only for [[conventions]], toys, and video games.

As a [[coping]] mechanism, Chris developed a belief that he has vast wealth in <s>[[CWCville]]</s> [[C-197|Dimension C-197]] to pay off the creditors, but creditors do not buy into fictional worlds and have attempted to [[Debt#Court cases|sue him]] for at least $11,606.15 (as of 23 February 2022).

In the fall of 2020, Chris partnered with [[Praetor]], whose members launched the [[OfficialCWCmart]] shop, helped to finance a home in [[Big Island, VA]] for Chris to rent, and set up livestreams for Chris to run. From July 2025 to July 2026, the [[OfficialCWCmart]] shop made at least $151,372 in sales alone,<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref> netting Chris a sizeable income beyond his tugboat along with whatever money Chris can eke out from Cameo and [[Cwclight]]. This steady supply of money from Chris's ''adoring fanbase'' has dramatically decreased his begging, although it definitely hasn't been eliminated completely. As most would expect, Chris has not yet learned how to spend his money responsibly, and instead keeps blowing thousands of dollars on toys, video games, and now, his [[Flutter|little Nordic sweetheart]]. Although the Financhu Crisis is certainly behind him, the foundations remain in place. It remains entirely possible that Chris may be one bad fiscal year away from being back to begging and pleading online for money.

==Background==
[[File:Financhu Wordle.png ‎|thumb|400px|A wordcloud of the videos and Facebook posts Chris made during the Financhu Crisis. Note how big "money" and "donations" are...]]

The Chandlers' financial woes were caused by their own irresponsible behaviors. Chris, [[Chris and money|learning absolutely nothing over the years]], had squandered any available money on [[Lego|children's toys]], [[PS4|video games]], [[McDonald's|fast food]] and [[sex toys]]. Barb, on the other hand, was simply ignoring long-term debts and letting them pile up to alarming amounts, armed only with vain hopes that her manbaby would raise money for her bills.

'''Chris''' made some efforts to generate income for the household over the previous few years (bar that of [[Chris and stress|actually finding a job]]), which included opening an [[Etsy|Etsy shop]] in [[2015]]. However, any profits gained would immediately go straight to toy purchases, an irresponsible move that would turn out to be a recurring problem that kept the Chandlers in the red. The shop would eventually shut down from Chris lazily not fulfilling Etsy orders, but he would still find some revenue from the occasional [[eBay]] sales of select merch from the [[14 Branchland Court|hoard]]. To further compound the issue, Chris has been instilled with a very real belief that [[fans]] are willing to drop large sums of money into his bank account [[Chris and his ego|for nothing]], an expectation that has since been strengthened by the $1,000 donation by [[DStecks]] in [[September 2015]]. This belief would take on the form of the many begging videos that highlight the saga.

'''Barb''' seems to have outstanding debts that dwarf Chris's financial handiwork. On [[September 2016]], she faced lawsuits from Discover and Capital One for failing to pay the large amounts of her credit card debt, according to Virginia District Court records. It is worth noting that it takes a lot of ignored [[Trolls|debt collector]] calls over a long period of time to get a simple credit card debt escalated to a lawsuit, suggesting that Barb may have been outright ignoring making any payments to her credit cards. Only time will tell if more creditor companies begin to sue Barb for her neglect. In [[August 2016]], Chris revealed that the household is still under a [[14 Branchland Court#Mortgage|mortgage of $115,000]].

Both Chris and Barb continued to barely stay afloat with their lives thanks to their own [[tugboat]]s. Despite it all, '''Chris did not once attempt to find a job'''. In April 2017, with the household finances near the breaking point, one of Chris's IRL friends informed him of [https://www.dars.virginia.gov/ DARS], a service designed to help people with disabilities enter the workforce. [[Chris and his ego|Chris reacted ''with a temper tantrum, posting a multi-paragraph rant on not wanting to work'']].

Chris has access to Barbara's online bank account and knows how to transfer her money into his own account – during the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] saga fallout, he admitted to taking $750 from Barb's account to fund a room at [[Regency Inn Richmond]] for himself.<ref name=theft>[[Null DMs#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref>

==Outstanding debts==
{{main|Debt}}

==Chris's frivolous spending during the crisis==
[[File:Had-to-pay-3fyhaf (credit to Gunslinger).png|thumb|300px|A recurring theme throughout the Crisis.]]

Like any terminally irresponsible adult, Chris likes to keep his [[bedroom]] filled with toys, while [[Chris and money|keeping his wallet empty]]. Below is a list of the known expenses Chris has made during the Financhu Crisis, collected from online postings and eBay purchase history. Some amounts are estimated, but all amounts are debilitating.

During [[2016]], Chris was known to waste over $2,500 on toys.

In late 2017, Chris spent a considerable amount of money to attend [[Bronycon]]. 3-day pass tickets were around $60, but money spent on travel, food, souvenirs, and lodging is rounded to $2,000-3,000 by other attendees.

Below is a list of ''known'' frivolous purchases made during the Crisis. There are doubtless many more that are not known about, including cash purchases.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!class="unsortable"|Item
!data-sort-type="currency" |Amount ($)
|-
|New PS4 console<ref>[[March 2016 Facebook Posts#PS4 Thanks]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;" |540.00
|-
|About 30 game purchases for the PS4<ref>http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu&completion=all&order=played&pf=ps4#content</ref>
!style="text-align:right;" |600.00
|-
|[https://shop.lego.com/en-US/Firehouse-Headquarters-75827 $350 Ghostbusters lego set], bought on eBay<ref name=l>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-spent-over-425-on-ebay-last-month.19451/ (archive: https://archive.ph/UAcJm)</ref> for ''higher''
!style="text-align:right;" |425.88
|-
|Transformers action figures<ref name=tftr>[[List of toys#Transformers: Titans Return]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|587.00
|-
|[[Naru]], a dakimakura (or ''hug pillow'')
!style="text-align:right;"|90.00
|-
|Skylanders toys<ref>[[List of toys#Skylanders]]</ref><ref>[[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|195.00
|-
|Pokemon merchandise<ref>[[List of toys#Pokemon]]</ref><ref name=ebay>[[List of toys#Bought in 2017 from eBay]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|181.79
|-
|Amiibo (Smash series "Pit")<ref>[[List of toys#Nintendo Amiibos]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|12.99
|-
|"I'm Done Adulting" T-Shirt<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-10-03-14-31-36-png.141291/</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|23.99
|-
|Lego Dimensions (assorted sets)<ref>[[List of toys#Lego Dimensions]]</ref><ref name=ebay/>
!style="text-align:right;"|238.00
|-
|My Little Pony-themed card sleeves<ref name=ebay/>
!style="text-align:right;"|13.54
|-
|14K yellow gold Cleopatra bar 16" necklace<ref>http://archive.is/tPnTI</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|399.99
|-
|Tokyo Treat Box (minimum $31.50 per month for 31+ months)<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|976.50
|-
|[[Skylanders avatar]] products, for use as raffle prizes<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|750.00
|-
|[[DoopieDoOver]] artwork
!style="text-align:right;"|80.00
|-
|HexBox One
!style="text-align:right;"|400.00
|-
|HexBox Live Gold
!style="text-align:right;"|59.99
|-
|HexBox Games
!style="text-align:right;"|89.94
|-
|Sonic Forces
!style="text-align:right;"|39.99
|-
|DNA ancestry reports on Chris, Barb, and Bob
!style="text-align:right;"|500.00
|-
|God of War (PS4)
!style="text-align:right;"|59.99
|- class="sortbottom"
!style="background-color:#E9E9E9; text-align:right;", colspan="1"|Total
!style="font-weight:bold;color:#FF0000"|$6,267.09
|}

==Why Chris refuses to work==
{{main|Chris and work}}
{{quote|“You Want Money, GET A JOB”?

Our Response is that WE ARE ALREADY EMPLOYED BY YOUR BOSS’S BOSS’S BOSS due to our better and special powerful abilities. ⚡️💙⚡️

Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever.|Chris, clinging to his fantasies about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to justify why he's unemployed in the real world.<ref name=mergejob>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris Claims To Be Employed Overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref>}}

Despite actively begging for money since 2016, and [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE|a near-miss]] with foreclosure and homelessness in May 2018, Chris has not attempted to get a job (then again, the [[Cutco|last job he's had]] dates all the way back to [[2003]]). One of his real-life friends, a woman from his Pokémon club named Alexa, became concerned after seeing Chris repeatedly beg on Facebook. She suggested, in November 2016 and again in April 2017,<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb pawns jewelry, Chris decides to join Patreon]]</ref><ref name=getajob/> that he contact one of her family members who works at the Virginia {{abbr|DARS|Department for Aging and Rehabilitative Services}}, a government service that helps disabled individuals find work. At the first suggestion, Chris didn't follow through, and at the second, he fired off a rant against getting a job, forcing Alexa to back down.

In his rant, Chris gave the following flimsy excuses:

* He was busy helping Barb and the pets (despite having no trouble in going on [[BronyCon|a three-day trip to another state]] without bringing them along in August 2017).
* [[Chris and his Ego|Trolls ruined his "background check"/reputation]]. While it is true that a Google search on Chris reveals unsavory details, they are only records of facts, and there are agencies that find work for [[slow-in-the-mind]] adults that would not care about minor crimes or indiscretions.
* Finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his [[tomgirl]] gender.
* [[Chris and stress|Stress]].
* He fears being incompetent.

Later, Chris added more excuses for not wanting to work:

* In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was [[Chris and reality|too busy]] with [[CWCville]] and his [[imaginary friends]], in addition to helping Barb and the pets.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LegendaryChristorian)#Good Day, People! Pin This To The Top]]</ref>
* In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref name= mergejob/>

Most of his claimed reasons hold no weight. A "background check", as explained by [[Jackie]] and [[Kim Wilson]] many times, only applies [[Chris and the Law|to legal records]], and Chris's misdemeanors [[Honor roll|would not prevent him]] from getting a job. Fellow lolcows like [[William Elliott Waterman]] and [[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt|Kenneth Engelhardt]] also have their names linked to their internet shenanigans, yet they have gained employment. Furthermore, discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of {{w|Bostock v. Clayton County|a Supreme Court ruling}} on 15 June 2020.

In reality, getting a job would probably reduce his stress over needing to beg in order to afford more toys: his excuses for being fearful of making mistakes, and his obsession over his imaginary friends, are blocks set down by his own mind – revealing that, rather than growing up and assuming responsibility for his future, he would rather [[Chris and psychology|remain a manchild]] forever.

Chris's only plausible claim was in May 2018, when he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban]]ning him.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

==Why you shouldn't donate to Chris==
Buying things from Chris and/or donating to him is not at all recommended, mainly because:

* Chris has habitually neglected his customers. He has repeatedly failed to ship orders to his buyers on time and will ignore messages from customers asking about their purchases, or give a myriad of excuses as to why they haven't shipped. If he does get around to shipping them, his [[naive]] methods of "packaging" often cause items to arrive damaged. Other times, he simply won't ship items at all (as seen perfectly with his [[Patreon]]).
* If Chris is angry enough, he can use your information against you. This was infamously seen when [[Mr. Smith]] attempted to purchase a medallion from Chris and, after Chris failed to make and ship one, filed a claim against him on [[eBay]], causing Chris's PayPal to be locked. Chris responded by furiously ''doxing'' Mr. Smith and another buyer on [[Facebook]], both of whom eventually received [[prank calls]] from [[weens]]. The information that PayPal releases to eBay sellers includes your full name, home address, e-mail address, eBay username, and (possibly) phone number. In other words, "the exact kind of information you wouldn't want a screeching manchild to post in a public place when it's followed by hundreds of cannibalistic Internet trolls."<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/important-dont-buy-from-chris.5048/]</ref>
* Chris will piss away your money. As stated above, Chris and Barb have had a long history of irresponsible spending habits, which is the biggest reason why they've fallen into debt. Even if he does manage to ship something to you without any sort of hassle, or [[December 2020 social media posts#Chris begs for money|claim he won't spend your cash on toys]], chances are still extremely high that Chris will immediately blow your money on Legos, action figures, video games, and/or other stuff, and then immediately go back to begging.

==Timeline==
{{incomplete}}

===2016===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2016)}}

===2017===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2017)}}

===2018===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2018)}}

===2019===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2019)}}

===2020===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2020)}}

===2021===
{{main|Timeline of the Financhu Crisis (2021)}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and money]] - A more general overview of Chris's finances.
*[[Chris and business]] - Chris's attempts to make money outside of begging.
*[[DStecks]] - Some argue that his donation inspired Chris's shameless begging.

==References==
<references/>

{{Money}}
{{Dimensions}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Sagas]]
[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]

User talk:FullNameUnknown

2026-07-20T02:32:56Z

FullNameUnknown: /* A */ new section

== A ==

Test

CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2

2026-07-19T22:35:08Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Site Archive */

==Site Archive==
Thanks to [[Clyde Cash]], here's a [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=03ZFPPM2 site archive] for Chris's sites. There's newish stuff (or rather, stuff that went unnoticed or retrieved from archives). Let's try and get stuff from his [[Hot Wheels]] page into the article, see if there's any of his Bioncle shit for the [[Lego]] article, find new stuff and make articles for it (like [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]]) and pretty much just incorporate stuff. To get started, here's a zip with [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K07O5DNN new-ish stuff]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:52, 27 October 2009 (CET)

==Gold Star Bounty==
Someone do me a favor and turn our beloved CWCki intro logo ([[:Image:CWCiki Introduction.jpg|this]]) and the one in the corner (note to self - find exact image) to make it look like Liquid. First person to do so gets a Gold Star Bounty Award for their page. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:29, 22 October 2009 (CEST)

I've got about CWC-level skills when it comes to image manipulation, but here goes nothing. [http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5085/liquidintro.jpg]. Blech, I don't even want to try the image in the corner. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:12, 27 October 2009 (CET)

*Behold my <s>magnificence</s> [[:Image:Liquidball.png|attempt]]. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 21:49, 31 October 2009 (CET)

==Memo on adding shit==
People, don't fuck with [[:Category:Historical Documents|historical documents]]. I thought it was a bit out of character for Chris to use the word "cripple" as mentioned in a recent edit in the context of the [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]. I looked at the linked ED edit (another good reason to cite your sources) and low and behold, turns out Chris never said he got his ass handed to him "handed by a cripple" or beat up "by someone old enough to be [his] mom." Don't add shit to historical documents, '''leave historical documents exactly as Chris had them''' (exception is adding wiki links for clarifying things).

Seriously, people who feel compelled to insert non-Chris stuff into historical documents '''will get fucking banned.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:11, 5 October 2009 (CEST)
* As a historian in training I agree with this shit. I think the guy who did this was one of these faggots from ED who think that "everything should have lulz added". This is Chris we're talking about, it's lulzy enough. If Chris becomes even more lulzy, I'm going to need a holiday. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 03:30, 10 October 2009 (CEST)
* I'm just kind of surprised anyone was stupid enough to fuck with that shit in the first place. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:12, 27 October 2009 (CET)

==What to do with the left column (IMPORTANT TYPE POLL==
Okay, cogs thinks that the CWCipedia Tracker should be on the right hand column and I'm inclined to agree. Problem is, there's still a huge gap beneath the DYK and we can't display like, more DYK because otherwise we'd have everything from DYK on there. Instead, we're soliticting suggestions on what to put there.

So far, I've suggested a "This Day in Christory," outlining a historical Chris moment from the day in question, though this won't work for every day and it'd be tricky to automate the process.

So let's brainstorm some ideas and the best one will get implemented onto the front page. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:57, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

*I only suggested sticking the CWCkipedia Tracker over to the left in the interest of balancing out the columns, but thinking about it it would probably be best suited under Da Update as they're similar enough things. A featured PVCC thread could be cool, but I haven't joined the PVCC so I don't know the quality of threads there. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 00:07, 30 September 2009 (CEST)

*Man, you guys sure are good at brainstorming --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 21:11, 8 October 2009 (CEST)

*i'll have a go at coming up with a way to automate a "This Day in Christory" feature. i don't really know what else we could put on there --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 03:47, 10 October 2009 (CEST)

*also, we should maybe remove some of the old entries from da update and cwcipedia tracker. they're getting a bit long --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 11:30, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

==Mary Sue vs Gary Stu==
Since this is a trans-page thing, I'll bring it here. I strongly lean towards the use of Mary Sue when referring to a thinly veiled fictional characterization of the author (such as Sonichu for Chris). "Gary Stu" is one of those stupid words like "Fireperson" or "Firewoman." I tend to view Mary Sue to be a gender neutral term, like how "mankind" does include women and not just men (and I'll be damned if I start spelling women as "womyn") and it also goes along with Chris's gender identity issues. That's my two cents at least. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:10, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

*I could only find one useage of "Gary Stu", on [[Pickle]], and I've changed it. So if they're essentially all Mary Sue anyway we may as well stick with it. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 00:11, 30 September 2009 (CEST)

==Vandalism==
Currently undoing vandalism by [[It sure is nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic GAY LUIGI?!?]], banhammer required. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 18:09, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*Perhaps we should do something about registration to prevent the daily troll we get to this wiki? Or do we not mind having to clean up after some dipshit every day? Possibly even the same dipshit, given the similarity in all the troll attempts? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:54, 24 September 2009 (CEST)
*it's only one person, cleaning it up isn't really any trouble. but if enough of you want me to, i'll restrict registration to deal with it. here would be a good place to discuss how it should be handled --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 23:00, 24 September 2009 (CEST)
*Restricting access will stop a lot of trolls and probably would get rid of most of the problems. Champthom brought up a good point though: it is supposed to be a public wiki open for everyone, and restricting access goes against the whole idea of an open wiki. There's no nice solution for the vandalism. :( [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 00:19, 25 September 2009 (CEST)
:*Not really a big fan of restricting access. We're not really in a position of rejecting people who want to contribute to the wiki, especially when we could use people who actually know how to edit wikis and not just people who know about Chris (not that the latter is bad, but it'd be cool if there were more guys who knew how to do stuff with MediaWiki). I really don't like the vandalism but I'd rather have it dealt with some extension (if possible) or a bot, and maybe get some sysadmin(s) who can patrol recent changes regularly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:34, 25 September 2009 (CEST)
*I don't know, with that last vandal that Clyde just got rid of, it wouldn't hurt to at least disable account creation for a few days. Also, we might want to lock the Main Page and the user spaces of the three admins; those seem to be the most popular targets for the troll(s). --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 06:52, 25 September 2009 (CEST)
*right now the best solution is just to give anti-vandalism powers to more people. i'll sort this out with champthom later. right now what's bothering me more than the vandalism is that the front page needs another box below "did you know"... --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 09:22, 25 September 2009 (CEST)

*Why don't we move over the CWCkipedia Tracker? I don't really like it being above Da Update, Da Update is pretty high priority. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 22:13, 25 September 2009 (CEST)

*I agree with Cogsdev. The vandalism yesterday was manageable with the default editing options and the user contributions page, but anti-vandalism powers being given to more users would probably be the best solution to counter vandals using scripts or multiple vandal raids. Restricting access to CWCki would do more harm than good unless it was very minor restrictions. Also, I agree with Sonicow regarding the matter of reordering Da Update above the CWCkipedia Tracker, as it was before the tracker was added. Especially given the fact Chris doesn't appear to be updating it majorly.--[[User:Ror|Ror]] 23:03, 25 September 2009 (CEST)

*sorry about the mess on recent changes, i forgot to apply ?bot=1 --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 20:28, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

==Moves==
Cogs has apparently disabled moving on ALL pages for non-sysop users. Personally I find it annoying since sometimes moves are valid but moving pages is the most popular form of vandalism and it's a pain to reverse, so stopping moving at all works. If you think a page should be moved, comment on the talk page and it'll be moved as soon as possible. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:04, 22 September 2009 (CEST)

==FUCK YES==
Welcome back CWCki, I've missed you so. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 17:21, 18 September 2009 (CEST)
*Indeed. For those curious, this was because 110mb sucks ass, not due to counter trolls or something stupid like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:58, 19 September 2009 (CEST)

==Memo on videos==

1) Please, whenever possible, use [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|TheCWCvilleLibrary]] links whenever possible. They devote themselves to authoritative copies of Chris's videos and they're not namefags trying to get traffic to their other shitty videos so they can get e-fame like some Chris mirrors do. 
2) We should try to document what Chris originally calls his videos (even if it's something that is useless like ECV 00095) just so we have record of when Chris is too lazy to rename his videos. Fortunately, the lesser mirror channels use the original titles, lol.

--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:40, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

:*Just FYI, I have about 90% of the original names. Lately he's been getting really fucking lazy though. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 01:53, 10 October 2009 (CEST)

::*If we know the original titles of videos, we can then re-name the article pages for those videos whatever makes the most sense, simply adding a note within the opening line of each article page that says "...originally titled 'blah blah blah'". Article page titles could start to make a lot more sense that way, since we could disregard Chris's official titles without neglecting to mention what they originally were. I'd be all for that kind of change! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 02:45, 10 October 2009 (CEST)

:::*I forget where I said this but we really should be saying "officially..." not "originally..." "Originally" makes it sound like videos like [[War Paint Video]] is the official name and that it was changed at some point. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:33, 24 October 2009 (CEST)

::::*My bad. I'll change it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:49, 24 October 2009 (CEST)

==WE'RE BACK==
In the event we go down again, someone do us a huge favor and back shit up. Srsly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:27, 24 August 2009 (CEST)
* CWCki [http://www.archiveteam.org Archive Team]? There are a [http://www.organicdesign.co.nz/Backup.pl few] [http://www.wplug.org/wiki/Simple_MediaWiki_Backup existing] scripts out there... Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to customize/optimize anything to actually be useful in this task. Also, restoration could be another issue altogether. [[User:LBearington|LBearington]] 05:20, 25 August 2009 (CEST)
:*We have a backup project [http://sonichu.isgreat.org/index.php/Main_Page here] to have as a backup CWCki in case 110mb decides to fag up on us. It's a tedious and ghetto way of backing shit up (copying and pasting everything from the CWCki onto there) but it gets the job done. Between myself, Bystander and a few other people, we've gotten about <strike>1/3</strike> 1/2 of all the CWCki articles onto there. The admin still needs to activate uploading images in addition to activating basic scripts to allow for logic (to use templates like Quote) and then we'll really be in business. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:01, 25 August 2009 (CEST)
:** Copypasting???? In Year of GodJesus's Grace 2009? =) Would you kindly take a look at [[Special:Allpages]], [[Special:Export]] and [[Special:Import]]. Export can be done by any user, but Import requires sysop privileges in the backup wiki. I'm also fairly certain I've seen some scripts that can export the wiki fully. I'm also not sure what sort of tools 110mb lets you use to access the command line, but in case it doesn't give you much control, there's [http://phpshell.sourceforge.net/ PHP Shell] which probably lets you run the scripts ''maintenance/dumpBackup.php'' and ''maintenance/importDump.php''. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 08:29, 3 September 2009 (CEST)

==PRO TIP==

Use <nowiki>[[Wikipedia:ArticleNameHere|Your Text]]</nowiki> to link directly to Wikipedia. For instance, enter <nowiki>[[Wikipedia:Pickle|Pickle]]</nowiki> and you'll get [[Wikipedia:Pickle|Pickle]].

Neat, eh? Now to do this for the external links to Wikipedia we have. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:58, 13 August 2009 (CEST)

==CWCipedia Tracker?==
Something I just thought of is that we could have a sort of a version of Da Update strictly for [[CWCipedia]] related updates, keeping track of new articles created on the CWCipedia so people can see what lulzy new things Chris is saying.

Any objections? Thoughts? Inputs? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

Sounds like a good idea to keep everyone on the level. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:17, 17 August 2009 (CEST)

==Operation Incorporation==
Chris has been adding a shit ton of information on [[CWCipedia]]. While not major breaking stuff, mostly things to the Sonichu canon like where [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] got married (the articles on them still do not reference the fact they are married), stuff about PVCC, etc.

The idea (or at least part of the idea) about CWCipedia is so we have a publicly available source of information from Chris himself so we can improve information here on the [[CWCki]].

I do understand that we've been occupied by Liquid Chris saga but nonetheless, some of the stuff on CWCipedia is gold and really should be more incorporated into articles. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:40, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

Yeah, updating is needed. Stupid Chris decided rewrite most of the canonical details, making everything PC. Not to mention every now and then he lets something hilarious/disturbing slip: "The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced."
--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:21, 17 August 2009 (CEST)

==IBAChandler vs lBAChandler==
If you're going to cite Chris commenting on YouTube, please be sure it's not from lBAChandler (which is from the troll formerly known as [[BILLY MAYS]]). That account has videos like "Peggy Hill taught me Spanish" while the real Chris's account, well, doesn't. I've seen at least two different people fall for this and I'd rather not have repeated some of the rumor mongering that was once prevalent on ED (such as Chris spreading peanut butter on his [[duck]]). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:01, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==Fan works Namespace==
so i've been thinking, there's a load of "fan"-made CWC stuff on PVCC(1 and 2) that will probably be lost in the sea of new threads over time and eventually forgotten. so i propose a new fan works namespace on the CWCki in which all of these productions can be archived, categorized and saved for future generations to enjoy. it also provides new ways to contribute; if you don't want to edit articles, you can write stories or draw things instead. we need a good name for the namespace, though, as well as details on how exactly it will work. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 01:28, 28 July 2009 (CEST)
*I was trying to add notable PVCC works to the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)]] page, but beyond CWC.wad and a few significant "essays" I couldn't think of anything to add. As for a good name, we could stick with the one we already have "Troll Productions".--[[User:Megaman|''Super Fighting Robot Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 01:38, 28 July 2009 (CEST)
*regards finding an appropriate name, it should be one short word. like the existing namespaces; "Image:", "CWCki:", "Talk:", etc. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 05:31, 28 July 2009 (CEST)
::*You read my mind :3. Seriously, a Fan: namespace would be ideal for this. I myself had reservations about promoting fan works here (as in being like "FEEL FREE TO UPLOAD YOUR SHIT HERE") but I figure that ED pretty much does that and it seems to work alright for them. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:39, 28 July 2009 (CEST)
*well, once we have a nice index page made, it'll be time to copy stuff over. please decide on a nice way to organize fan works. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 03:07, 29 July 2009 (CEST)

==Megan Emails==
What happened to all of the Megan emails, and why aren't they on here? There are the Blanca emails, why not Megans? There are quite a few and more than enough to fill up an article. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 03:57, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
*They're there, they're just in chronological order with the other e-mails he's received. You're more than welcome to filter out the Megan e-mails into their own article. And there's actually quite a few Blanca e-mails, IIRC, that still need to be transcribed. The problem with the Blanca e-mails is that at best you can copy and paste from PDF versions, which is a real bitch. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:13, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
*All filtered out into [[Megan E-mails]], Ms. Jelly. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 06:08, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

==File Cleanup==

I've been removing some old revisions of files that [[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] has compressed, hopefully that'll give the CWCki some extra space for other stuff. Sorry if the list of recent changes suddenly looks spammy. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 05:27, 26 September 2009 (CEST)

==Who is the Lock Your Door guy? Is he Chris-chan?==
Now spring 2009, Wikipedia found all these sock puppets they thought were Chris-chan that did all this "Lock Your Door" posts vandalism. I always thought it was a poser but... Well about 24 hours ago somebody called "Lock Your Door Well Tonight" vandalized here including some trolling on my talk page that was reverted. 24 hours ago was also when Chris-chan blocked me from YouTube in response to a private message. So I think maybe this "Lock Your Door" persona really is Chris-chan after all. --[[User:Ritegroic|Ritegroic]] 20:52, 5 October 2009 (CEST)
*I doubt it. I think it's [[User:PhinnyCupcakes|PhinnyCupcakes]] who's still butthurt about the [[Sonichu_the_Animated_Series|Sonichu:The Animated Series]] article and for being banned by cogs. Also, I highly doubt Chris would be familiar with the "Yo dawg, I heard you..." meme (which this vandal was using) in addition to the Troll Face macro he was using to spam with. A bit too sophisticated for Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:18, 5 October 2009 (CEST)
** Uh, I think the Wikipedia LYD incident predates whatever the hell the folks are doing over at the STAS article, so I don't think it's anyone related to STAS. To me, this looks like moderately sophisticated vandal who just happens to pick on Chris and trolls. But then again, this is just me and my useless spider-sense. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:05, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

==[[Template:CWC-isms|CWC-isms]]==
Chris has tons of lulzy quotes, but it's so much funnier to hear them than to just read them. A couple of people have tried making soundboards, but they never get very far. What if we could use the soundboard to enhance the articles on cwcki? Here's what I'm thinking: make a [[:Category:Soundboard]] for all the files to be listed in.
In order to keep size down we should limit clips to no more 10 seconds. Both mp3 and ogg formats are supported by Mediawiki, so we can use either of those formats.
What do you guys think? --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 03:15, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
*hmm, that could definitely be interesting. we'd probably need to install an extension for that, though, so please recommend something off the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/User:Alterego/ExtensionMatrix mediawiki extension matrix] --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 09:24, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
:*There's [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler this] for ogg support, I can't find one for mp3 and ED doesn't seem to be showing all their extensions? ogg is fine, (actually, better from a size standpoint) but it requires re-encoding, which is a little more difficult to explain in a how-to. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 15:58, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
:Are we going to do this? --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 21:05, 17 October 2009 (CEST)
*i think [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:Player this] is a bit more suitable, as OggHandler relies on software i can't install. i'll try it out later --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 23:53, 17 October 2009 (CEST)
:*Alright, hit my talk page up if you get it working, and I'll start getting the files ready. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 21:08, 25 October 2009 (CET)

==LIQUID IS BACK!!!==
HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK!

GET THIS SHIT DOWN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn7WNTxCDck&feature=player_embedded [[User:LStaley416|LStaley416]] 05:22, 16 October 2009 (CEST)

==[http://www.mediafire.com/CWC/ Resources]==
Here's a repository of everything Chris-related that's been distributed through mediafire: http://www.mediafire.com/CWC/ '''<= the endslash is important!''' (the other one appears to be a placeholder with no files) feel free to utilize it however you wish. I'll keep adding new things as they come out as well (if they're on mediafire, I'm not going to re-up off MU & RS). --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 21:05, 17 October 2009 (CEST)

User:FullNameUnknown/The Demon Theory of Christory

2026-07-19T18:39:25Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{essay}}
{{IncompleteEssay}}

Good day everyone, and welcome to my TED Talk. It is obvious to every Christorian, from the veterans to the novices, that there is a deeper corruption within Chris-Chan beyond simple autism or narcissism. Clearly, Chris Chan is now in some sort of advanced form of schizophrenia, going from a relatively harmless (if not horrendously annoying) man-child when Sonichu was created in 2000 to a hulking, walking embarrassment who has lost any resemblance of thought grounded in the real world. As time went on, the meager amount of mental faculty that Chris Chan possessed slowly degraded into dust, replaced by vivid hallucinations of grandeur and deity-like power — until there was simply nothing left. But even from his attendance at community college, to the present-day sagas, even through the days of the Second Exile, there has been one persistent facet of his personality that refuses to die: his attention-seeking.

Chris-Chan’s inability to stay out of the spotlight has forever defined his life, extreme autism notwithstanding (although certainly a contributor to it). Chris-Chan's entire online presence seems to be a recursive cycle of attention, feeding into his ego; Chris inputs something out into the world or reacts to something, and the world reacts to Chris's input or reaction, thereby giving him more attention and more motive to give input or reaction. The documentation of this cycle (being this wiki) is also a form of giving him attention, since no other man or woman of such little repute can also claim to have this much of their life documented.

Many have taken note of this cycle, and some have even gone so far to claim that this cycle has been intentionally built to support some master-level psy-op to intentionally troll us all. While this is not true, it is extremely hard to deny that Chris Chan hasn’t been doing much of this for attention, at least subconsciously. There have been times where Chris was able to control his histrionic tendencies online: mainly in 2012 and 2013, suggesting that he is or was partly able to subdue them at times. However, it always circles back into attention-whoring, with him not being able to run away from the trolls that were so easily escapable and so horrifyingly corruptive.

However, I am here to propose a different explanation. This is no product of mere autism or homosexuality, as the trolls would suggest. No, the force that drives Chris is much more insidious and dark, more archaic and demonic. How do we know this?

For the sake of arugment, let me posit an issue. There are many questions in Christory that the [[Autism|A-word]] fails to explain. For example:
*. What compelled Chris to upload [[Megan Schroeder]] squirtin' during a [[Chris and sex|romp in the hay]] with himself to ED?
*. Why the ''fuck'' would Chris admit to having [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] without ''any prompting?''

Chris and business

2026-07-19T05:55:05Z

FullNameUnknown: Realized that this doesn't have the reference

{{Dated|Chris's business ventures following his release from [[Jail Saga|jail]]}}
{{Needs Updating|[[OfficialCWCmart]]|[[Cwclight]]|[[Cameo]]}}
{{quote|That is not my fault the frame got broke in transaction, the envelope was clearly marked “Fragile” and “Handle With Care”, and it was shipped well in a bubble envelope. Either you, being Trollish, or the Postal Carriers are to blame for the frame’s arriving condition.|An example of Chris's customer service skills<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220516025146/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1017880748009967618</ref>}}

[[File:Update 1 17 2016 (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris pictured at his "[[Work Room]]" in [[January 2016]]]]

Chris launched an online '''business''' in [[June 2014]], selling custom arts and crafts through [[eBay]]. A year later, he moved shop to [[Etsy]], under a brand titled "Cwcville Shopping". He also began selling printed copies of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on [[Lulu]]. He held a steady stream of customers, despite issues with production and sending orders on time. For a while, he had achieved his dream of selling his own Sonichu merchandise, and was making plenty of [[Chris and money|money]].

However, exactly two years and one week after the start of his business, on 8 [[June 2016]], Chris's [[Chris and work|infamous laziness]] caught up to him, and he was banned from Etsy for ignoring orders over a span of months beginning from when he bought a [[PS4]]. He did not take responsibility for the self-inflicted failure of his business. Instead, he lied to save face and cast blame on Lulu.com's staff for having stressed him out by labeling Sonichu as fan fiction and banning his account half a year beforehand in [[December 2016]] (even though he had actually ban-evaded by opening a private account and was back to offering books through Lulu's services only weeks later).

After the Etsy ban, Chris fell back on [[Financhu Crisis|begging]] and Paid Video Requests to cover [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s credit card bills and his expensive [[toy]] purchases. In [[May 2017]], he felt like returning to work on the Sonichu comic and, throughout the next several months, began to rebuild his business, using [[Patreon]], Lulu and [[Redbubble]], and accepting interviews for money. In [[November 2019]], Chris created a website called [[CWCville Shopping]] to sell cards and comics, though it only lasted a few months as Chris couldn't afford to pay the monthly fee to keep the site up.

In [[September 2020]], a [[fan]] named [[Caden Peck]] and Co went to Chris's house to propose a business partnership with their group [[Praetor]]. This allowed Chris to return to Etsy yet again with the opening of [[OfficialCWCmart]] in [[December 2020]]. Caden has expressed his interest in Chris's level of popularity in contrast to how little he capitalizes on it, and has taken note of Chris being [[Chris and stress|overwhelmed]] at his own attempts to do so, both of which being reasons why he decided to reach out to him himself.<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The Place Chats#Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref> Caden has claimed that no one else previously has been "smart enough" to be as successful as Praetor is with Chris.<ref>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref> In [[September 2024]], Chris created a website called [[Cwclight]] to sell various junk. After many years, Chris returned to making personalized video messages, joining the [[Cameo]] website in [[February 2026]].

Chris & Praetor seem to have been very successful together, with their Etsy shop raking in an at least an estimated $151,371 after Etsy fees.<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref> It seems to be a steady source of income for Chris and is presumably how he is able to keep making frivolous purchases, along with how he is able to keep spoiling his little [[Flutter|Finnish hearthrob]]. With this help, he now saves money to pay off the [[mortgage]] of his old house and slowly but surely crawl out of [[debt]]. (Or buy even more toys, [[Debt|creditors be damned]].) It should be noted that the Etsy shop is ''not'' his only source of income, and that Chris is almost certainly making away with thousands more dollars through other ventures like his Cameo and Cwclight shop.

==List of ventures by type==
===Storefronts===
{{main|eBay|Etsy}}
On 1 [[June 2014]], Chris began cashing in on his Internet infamy, by offering custom artwork for sale. He later expanded his sales to include autographed photos, medallions, custom Amiibos, and personal items related to Christory. This would be his most profitable and otherwise his most important commercial endeavour. Over the years, he would earn thousands of dollars by selling off Sonichu-themed memorabilia and sundries;<ref>Sales listings ([[2014-2015 Sales Listings|to 2015]], [[2016 Sales Listings|2016]], [[2017 Sales Listings|2017]], [[2018 Sales Listings|2018]], [[2019 Sales Listings|2019]])</ref> the largest financial contributions were often made by aspiring [[weens]] to establish contact with Chris and put themselves in a friendly position.<ref>[[Aly Hirschberg]]</ref><ref>[[Teen Troon Squad]]</ref><ref>[[Jacob Sockness]]</ref> He would not always fulfil his orders, however, and after receiving an abysmal 85% satisfaction rating through customer reviews, his merchant account was [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|suspended]] on 16 [[June 2019]]. Proposals to circumvent the ban through a partnership with [[Jacob Sockness]] were never implemented.

On 2 [[September 2015]], Chris expanded his online business to Etsy. He continued the same offerings from eBay and added a donation listing for the continuation of the Sonichu series. Days later, on 5 September, a YouTuber named [[DStecks]] donated $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. Instead, Chris completed 16 pages before dropping the project. This move remains controversial with Christorians, as while some believe that he honestly wanted [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] to continue, others argue that this [[ween|weenish]] move validated begging in Chris's eyes, as seen with the influx of begging videos in the [[Financhu Crisis]]. In addition to DStecks, dozens of fans had also donated. Chris simply claimed that he was too stressed to continue ''Sonichu'' #11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

However, Chris still had a passion for making custom [[Amiibo]]s for several months afterwards; he took it seriously enough that he was willing to [[Ohio trip|drive hundreds of miles]] through Virginia just to buy parts for Amiibos to sell on Etsy.<ref>[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]</ref> He wasted hundreds of dollars buying up Amiibos on eBay, thinking that the market for his custom figures would sustain itself indefinitely. This was not the case. and Chris eventually grew apathetic and bored with earning his own money. To complicate things further, Chris purchased a [[PS4]] in [[March 2016]]. The new life upgrade proved too distracting, and he ignored Etsy orders, often for months. Ultimately, Etsy took notice and banned his store from doing business.

===Self-publishing===
{{main|Lulu|Redbubble}}

Chris took over a decade to try any self-publishing channels. [[Clyde Cash]] beat him to the punch by posting Chris's comics on Lulu.com. Chris simply retorted by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails from 2010]], Chris claimed that he was working on fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task, and he eventually dropped the project. Undaunted, Chris began selling printed copies of the Sonichu comic on Lulu.com in [[September 2015]],<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Now Chris is on Lulu]]</ref> as well as offering autographed versions through Etsy (by ordering the comics from Lulu, signing them, then shipping to the buyers).

In [[December 2015]], Chris was banned from Lulu for selling [[Sonichu (comic)|fan fiction]].<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Account Suspended]]</ref> In true Chris fashion, he responded by threatening Lulu's executives with physical violence,<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Threatening Lulu's Executives]]</ref> despite the fact that he was on probation for [[26 December 2014|an act of violence]] against a GameStop employee. Chris was able to continue selling comics in [[January 2016]],<ref>https://archive.md/p0WVk</ref> probably rejoining Lulu under an alternate account. He was discovered within a few months, and again his account was shut down.

Deprived of other reliable avenues, Chris has torpidly sought other ways to sell his own works. He opened a shop on Redbubble, an online shopping company where users can sell custom-printed items based on images of the seller's choice, on 3 [[October 2017]], selling pictures of himself pre-[[Tomgirl]] and drawings of himself on framed pictures, pillows, and miniskirts, among others. Much later, on 23 [[November 2019]], the spiritual successor to Chris's Etsy opened as a new Web site of the same name: [[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]. Here, Chris would offer his [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|handmade trading cards]] for a ''[[My Little Pony]]''-themed game at extreme prices.

===Commissioning===
{{main|Paid Video Requests|Patreon|Cameo|OfficialCWCmart commissions}}
In December 2015, [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|'''the singularity''']] happened. On Etsy, Chris offered to create a personalized video message for anyone who paid $50. Many of his fans took him up on the offer, thinking they could become [[Weening|a part of Christory]] by simply handing their money over to him. He received four sales within the first three days,<ref>[[:File:Etsy unlisted videos.jpg]]</ref> although those customers opted for their videos to be unlisted. A few people also chose public videos for their birthday shoutouts.<ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Jonathan]]</ref> After losing his Etsy shop, Chris continued offering video requests through text messages.<ref>[[Update 20160718]]</ref>

The videos Chris delivers are characterized by:

*Laziness. He has often been late on delivering, missing deadlines for birthday greetings, despite having an abundance of free time.<ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref>

*Sloppiness. Chris chooses not to edit his takes or look presentable. He has delivered a video featuring an upskirt shot of his maxipad.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]</ref>

*Explicitly stating that the content is boring. In many videos, Chris has mentioned his low opinion of his customers, saying things like "Eh, whatever" and "Wow, that's crazy, that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. Whatever", while rolling his eyes.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter]]</ref><ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]</ref>

*Filling up paid content time with drivel or off-topic rambling,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref> despite the fact that his videos are advertised as "around a minute in length, on average, but can be longer in time length".<ref>[[Etsy#Custom, Birthday, Holiday, or General, Greeting Video featuring Christine Weston Chandler]]</ref>

In spite of these issues, he has a continuing stream of customers. A Kiwi Farms user named Vanillacone, summed up the mindset of the lot with his review of [[Happy Birthday, Jonathan|the $50 paid video he ordered from Chris]] (which consisted of him being late, babbling to fill up time, failing to spell the recipient's name correctly and delivering a video 39 seconds long out of the minimum one minute):

{{quotebox|To be honest, I got what I expected out of the video, and money well spent in my opinion.}}

Chris joined Patreon on 30 [[November 2016]] as a response to pressure from the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He initially set it up to beg for money, claiming that he would produce more Sonichu comics if his fans paid off his mortgage and bills – he was met with low support levels, generally below $40 per month. This suddenly changed around [[June 2017]]. Picking up momentum from resuming the Sonichu comic of his own volition in May, he revamped his Patreon to offer more reasonable support tiers for fans. He has enjoyed a significant uptick in support due to his continued work on the comic, earning around $500-600 per month. As his interest in his own comic has abated, and new pages more rarely released, patron support has shrivelled to about a third of its peak. Reforming his backer awards by distinguishing different ''[[Chris and English|teirs]]'' for every dollar level given have not improved his steady decline in support.

===Miscellaneous affairs===
{{main|Sonichu Entertainment of America}}
In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate Chris's belief that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value. Three years later, in [[April 2019]], ''Sonichu Entertainment of America'' was noted by Google Maps, prompting Chris to laud his company as legitimate in a video, though it would see no further activity.

On 24 [[November 2016]], Chris asked his audience to watch a clip of him playing ''[[Skylanders]]'', by uploading [[CWC vs Koas]], in order to promote the idea of selling his [[Chris and his Ego#Fixation on self-image|in-game figure]] to them using the game's [https://www.skylanders.com/creator Skylanders Creation app]. He would charge "$20 extra" for his autograph. He also said "I am not sharing my creation app chirp", since this would allow people to order directly from Skylanders and cut off Chris's goal of [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Chris Chan Amiibo Complete Three Piece Set (from Original Creator)|profiting from his self-image]].<ref>https://archive.md/fhBJ2</ref> On 12 January 2017, Chris uploaded [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]] as a half-hour advertisement video, showing off multiple ''Skylanders'' products he had ordered, a $15 card, a $30 T-shirt and a $50 3D-doll, all emblazoned with his avatar image, [[Financhu Crisis|totaling at least $90]].

[[File:Skylanders swag.png|thumb|The ''Skylanders'' raffle prizes, featuring images of Chris's custom game avatar.]]
Chris's largest business failure to date followed soon after. Various ''Skylanders'' avatar products and a Son-Chu figure were announced as prizes for a raffle Chris conceived<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Raffle for new merch]]</ref> to push sales of his [[stamps]], slated to run from 27 March through [[Honor roll|31 April]] 2017. The cost of entry was buying one of Bob's stamps or Chris's stamp album on eBay, with a limit of one entry per buyer. Initially, Chris announced that the winner would receive a [[Son-Chu]] figure and a ''Skylanders'' figure, and 15 runners-up would each receive a ''Skylanders'' card. A week later, he added ''more'' prizes to the mix: ''Skylanders'' T-shirts.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Another gimmick for stamp sales]]</ref>

[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|250px|thumb|left]]
Chris seemed to be banking on the $1,000 album selling, as it was the only scenario in which he could have shown a profit from the raffle – he promised an automatic win of a set of all three prizes. His expenditure for the raffle prizes totalled '''$840'''.<ref>He confirmed ordering $750 of Skylanders cards/T-shirts in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]. After the raffle, Chris mentioned [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017|in a video]] that he still needed to order the Skylanders figure and parts to make Son-Chu (estimated at $40).</ref> No one bought the album, and less than 15 people participated in the raffle (although a mass buyer had purchased 18 stamps). He was left with a '''negative profit of $674.24'''.<ref>[[Stamps#Raffle]]</ref>

In [[December 2020]], Chris teamed up with [[Praetor]] to produce more Sonichu [[medallions]]. The medallions are not created by Chris, but he (supposedly) oversees the design and production of the medallions. The medallions are of noticeably worse quality than those created by Chris, but that hasn't stopped the team from selling over 130 medallions as of 14 December 2020. The jointly-owned [[Etsy]] page can be found [https://www.etsy.com/shop/OfficialCWCmart here].

By [[May 2022]], the partnership with Praetor extended to [[Praetor Jail Art|selling monochrome artwork Chris had drawn whilst jailed]]. Naturally, given the [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|newer delusions Chris had begun to machinate shortly after ending up behind bars]], these drawings primarily center around his pseudo-religion.

{{clear}}

===Abortive ventures===
In [[November 2015]], Chris announced that he would be setting up a shop on '''Zazzle.com'''.<ref>[[Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology.]]</ref> He mentioned it again half a year later, in June 2016.<ref>[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]]</ref> No progress was made, and to this day, Chris has never opened a Zazzle shop. Why he dragged his feet so much is unknown: Zazzle takes care of manufacturing and shipping, and there are no startup costs. All he would have to do is take some Sonichu drawings and upload them.

In [[October 2017]], amid being the subject of '''interviews''' by [[Merryweathery]], [[Documentary|Sachumo]] and [[CopperCab]], Chris announced that he was open to being a guest on more interviews for payment<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_tweets#Accepting_paid_interviews</ref>. Although he didn't specify his going rate, Merryweathery mentioned that Chris had asked him for $200<ref>https://archive.md/r6gWI</ref>. He has since given interviews for free,<ref>[[Pappy Van Poodle Interview]]</ref> taking the bend out of this potential scheme (although it seems that he was paid for [[The Create Unknown]] interview in [[October 2020]]).

==Customers and their reasons for buying==
{{see also|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

{{quote|a piece of valuable Internet culture|A potential buyer on Chris's comics.}}

[[File:Potential customers.png|thumb|200px|Potential customers mull over buying Chris's comics on [[Patreon]].]]

While many who follow Chris refuse to give him money and shun those who do, buyers seem to regard Chris memorabilia as pieces of internet culture that might become valuable over time. A February 2019 video in which a customer unboxed a [[Sonichu 0]] comic printed from [[Lulu]] attracted over 100,000 views, and many commentators expressed a desire to buy for themselves.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5G5U-eLzEg</ref> Ironically, the resulting bump in Chris's Patreon gave him so many orders to fulfill that he crashed into slumber and simply ignored the backlog of orders.

==Ad revenue==

When he was uploading his ''Sonichu'' comic pages to the [[CWCipedia]] in 2009, the thought of monetizing his web comic didn't cross his mind. People had been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' – the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

In [[2016]], Chris monetized his YouTube channel<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube monetization]]</ref> and added a Support button<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube Support button]]</ref> (ostensibly to accept donations for Sonichu projects, even though he didn't want to work on that, and for a year, YouTube simply became another place from which he could beg for money).

It took a while for Chris to try drawing on-camera in [[Live Drawing Streams]], and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often and has done an extremely poor job of it. He simply sits in front of his [[PS4]] camera, which is hard-coded to only record in flipped mirror mode, and is positioned so that viewers see an upside-down video set at a dizzying angle.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content''.)

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional web cartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[Autism|autistic]] mind.

The same mindset also pervades every other aspect of his business, namely that Chris will procrastinate on shipping orders. A key example is how he almost fucked up the [[Sonic Totem]] sale - he received $1,500 for it, immediately wasted much of his profit on [[$400 gold necklace|bling]] and failed to ship it to the buyer on time, saying that he had run out of money to pay for mailing it, and only got around to having his mother scrounge up the cash to do so after the buyer filed a Paypal dispute. He also lost his Etsy shop as a direct result of his poor work ethic.

==Pipe dreams==

{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous aspirations to work in creative industries. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

=== Official publication ===

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[Chris and art|art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in the case of "original" creations. In the case of original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with the right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common, though infrequent. ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics#Action Comics Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', an anthology which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title and monthly format. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]'', ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]'' and more recently ''[[wikipedia:The New 52: Future's End|The New 52: Future's End]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] and [[Wikipedia:Valve Time|Valve]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

On 14 [[August 2017]], Chris uploaded a [[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content|video]] where he updated the True and Loyal Fanbase on his progress on ''Sonichu'' #13, which he has re-numbered as ''Sonichu'' #12-9. He states that he decided to change the focus of the comic. Instead of being a crossover between the Sonichu gang and the [[Planet Dolan]] crew, it would instead be a fanfiction devoted to his pony avatar, [[Night Star]]. Throughout the video, he mentions how he not only wants the comic to be a piece of fanfiction, [[Chris and reality|but how he also wants it to be canon to ''My Little Pony'', where he himself would voice Night Star]]. Of course, Chris doesn't seem to realize that the creators of the show can't just simply pick up his idea because, as stated earlier, it may lead to an accusation of idea theft.

Yet another reason why the publishing industry wouldn't accept Sonichu in its current state is because of how [[Chris and writing|sloppily written]] and [[Chris and his ego|egocentric it is in tone]]. If a publisher somehow ''did'' agree to make Sonichu comics, they would more likely task other writers (not to mention artists) with actual talents to shape up the premise into something at least passable. Predictably enough, Chris would balk at lacking control over his life's work (and of course, anyone doing better than him).

===Games and merchandise===
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give an equal amount of thought on the countless ideas fans send them. While game companies may listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was that the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games take a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Surprisingly, in the [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]], then high schooler-aged Chris offered a (slightly) better description of how the three fictional Sonic game releases he hoped for would play out than his proposals for Sonichu games later on and even then, they're highly basic and unoriginal ideas (e.g. ''Super Mario 64'' with Sonic the Hedgehog as its playable character and ''Super Mario All-Stars'' with the four classic ''Sonic'' games originally for Sega Genesis).

Theoretically, it would be possible, though extraordinarily unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough to make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

To the surprise of no one, Chris has held onto dreams of Sonichu getting turned into a video game character well into [[November 2023]], when he posted a request to "personally" work with [[Nintendo]], offering them his OCs to be integrated into Pokémon canon<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Offering to work with Nintendo]]</ref>. Equally unsurprising is that Chris seems to be unaware (willfully or otherwise) that Nintendo has nothing to gain by granting fans' (ludicrous) desires for all the reasons mentioned here.

===In general===
An issue Chris would face in the industries he aspired to contribute towards is that mainstream publishers will not allow ''any'' pornographic material ([[Sonichu 8|which Chris had nonchalantly drawn into his supposedly kid-friendly comic]]), thus Chris would be forced to comply with a set of rules to make his magnum opus acceptable for the masses, and we all know how ''that'' would turn out.

By a similar token, both Nintendo and Sega would probably not allow [[Sonichu 10|the extreme violent]] [[Sonichu 8|and sexual imagery]] the comic didn't shy away from, especially since he considers Sonichu appropriate for kids (although he did imagine his [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles| Adult Chronicles]] to be rated M for [[Honest Content]]). And that's if they didn't reject it outright ''because of'' said imagery, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|not to mention Chris had drawn smut of his magnum opus himself in the past]] which could make a bad first impression on any reputable company approached to work with him.

Not to mention that Chris, being the egotist we know and love, would have to essentially hand over the rights for Sonichu to whichever company agrees to own his IP, meaning he would have no little to no say in how it plays out according to his whims.

If Chris actually ''were'' in a position of creative control, consider this; during the majority of time the [[CWCipedia]] was online, Chris acted as if he had free reign to dictate a site ''others made and hosted for him'', so letting him be head honcho of a comic or game production would be a colossal mistake. Needless to say, the [[Chris and stress|stress]] of working under him would lead some unfortunate writers/developers to quit and/or the higher-ups to [[Wendy's|eventually fire him]].

==The future of Chris and his business attempts==
After [[Affair With Mother|the life-changing incest scandal in the mid-summer of 2021]],[[Praetor]] successfully continued business with Chris, selling drawings he had made during incarceration and, since his release from jail, a further run of [[Medallions]] and other assorted junk, as well as setting up livestreams. As mentioned in the intro, these business ventures seem to be providing a steady stream of income for Chris, so much so that he was able to sink his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]] and finally become "employed" again.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris and work]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[DStecks]], a person who gave Chris $1,000 for more Sonichu pages.
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}
{{BusinessList}}

Chris and business

2026-07-19T05:47:52Z

FullNameUnknown: I don't know why I keep using the word 'assumedly'.

{{Dated|Chris's business ventures following his release from [[Jail Saga|jail]]}}
{{Needs Updating|[[OfficialCWCmart]]|[[Cwclight]]|[[Cameo]]}}
{{quote|That is not my fault the frame got broke in transaction, the envelope was clearly marked “Fragile” and “Handle With Care”, and it was shipped well in a bubble envelope. Either you, being Trollish, or the Postal Carriers are to blame for the frame’s arriving condition.|An example of Chris's customer service skills<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220516025146/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1017880748009967618</ref>}}

[[File:Update 1 17 2016 (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris pictured at his "[[Work Room]]" in [[January 2016]]]]

Chris launched an online '''business''' in [[June 2014]], selling custom arts and crafts through [[eBay]]. A year later, he moved shop to [[Etsy]], under a brand titled "Cwcville Shopping". He also began selling printed copies of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on [[Lulu]]. He held a steady stream of customers, despite issues with production and sending orders on time. For a while, he had achieved his dream of selling his own Sonichu merchandise, and was making plenty of [[Chris and money|money]].

However, exactly two years and one week after the start of his business, on 8 [[June 2016]], Chris's [[Chris and work|infamous laziness]] caught up to him, and he was banned from Etsy for ignoring orders over a span of months beginning from when he bought a [[PS4]]. He did not take responsibility for the self-inflicted failure of his business. Instead, he lied to save face and cast blame on Lulu.com's staff for having stressed him out by labeling Sonichu as fan fiction and banning his account half a year beforehand in [[December 2016]] (even though he had actually ban-evaded by opening a private account and was back to offering books through Lulu's services only weeks later).

After the Etsy ban, Chris fell back on [[Financhu Crisis|begging]] and Paid Video Requests to cover [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s credit card bills and his expensive [[toy]] purchases. In [[May 2017]], he felt like returning to work on the Sonichu comic and, throughout the next several months, began to rebuild his business, using [[Patreon]], Lulu and [[Redbubble]], and accepting interviews for money. In [[November 2019]], Chris created a website called [[CWCville Shopping]] to sell cards and comics, though it only lasted a few months as Chris couldn't afford to pay the monthly fee to keep the site up.

In [[September 2020]], a [[fan]] named [[Caden Peck]] and Co went to Chris's house to propose a business partnership with their group [[Praetor]]. This allowed Chris to return to Etsy yet again with the opening of [[OfficialCWCmart]] in [[December 2020]]. Caden has expressed his interest in Chris's level of popularity in contrast to how little he capitalizes on it, and has taken note of Chris being [[Chris and stress|overwhelmed]] at his own attempts to do so, both of which being reasons why he decided to reach out to him himself.<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The Place Chats#Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref> Caden has claimed that no one else previously has been "smart enough" to be as successful as Praetor is with Chris.<ref>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref> In [[September 2024]], Chris created a website called [[Cwclight]] to sell various junk. After many years, Chris returned to making personalized video messages, joining the [[Cameo]] website in [[February 2026]].

Chris & Praetor seem to have been very successful together, with their Etsy shop raking in an estimated $151,371 after Etsy fees. It seems to be a steady source of income for Chris and is presumably how he is able to keep making frivolous purchases, along with how he is able to keep spoiling his little [[Flutter|Finnish hearthrob]]. With this help, he now saves money to pay off the [[mortgage]] of his old house and slowly but surely crawl out of [[debt]]. (Or buy even more toys, [[Debt|creditors be damned]].) It should be noted that the Etsy shop is ''not'' his only source of income, and that Chris is almost certainly making away with thousands more dollars through other ventures like his Cameo and Cwclight shop.

==List of ventures by type==
===Storefronts===
{{main|eBay|Etsy}}
On 1 [[June 2014]], Chris began cashing in on his Internet infamy, by offering custom artwork for sale. He later expanded his sales to include autographed photos, medallions, custom Amiibos, and personal items related to Christory. This would be his most profitable and otherwise his most important commercial endeavour. Over the years, he would earn thousands of dollars by selling off Sonichu-themed memorabilia and sundries;<ref>Sales listings ([[2014-2015 Sales Listings|to 2015]], [[2016 Sales Listings|2016]], [[2017 Sales Listings|2017]], [[2018 Sales Listings|2018]], [[2019 Sales Listings|2019]])</ref> the largest financial contributions were often made by aspiring [[weens]] to establish contact with Chris and put themselves in a friendly position.<ref>[[Aly Hirschberg]]</ref><ref>[[Teen Troon Squad]]</ref><ref>[[Jacob Sockness]]</ref> He would not always fulfil his orders, however, and after receiving an abysmal 85% satisfaction rating through customer reviews, his merchant account was [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|suspended]] on 16 [[June 2019]]. Proposals to circumvent the ban through a partnership with [[Jacob Sockness]] were never implemented.

On 2 [[September 2015]], Chris expanded his online business to Etsy. He continued the same offerings from eBay and added a donation listing for the continuation of the Sonichu series. Days later, on 5 September, a YouTuber named [[DStecks]] donated $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. Instead, Chris completed 16 pages before dropping the project. This move remains controversial with Christorians, as while some believe that he honestly wanted [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] to continue, others argue that this [[ween|weenish]] move validated begging in Chris's eyes, as seen with the influx of begging videos in the [[Financhu Crisis]]. In addition to DStecks, dozens of fans had also donated. Chris simply claimed that he was too stressed to continue ''Sonichu'' #11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

However, Chris still had a passion for making custom [[Amiibo]]s for several months afterwards; he took it seriously enough that he was willing to [[Ohio trip|drive hundreds of miles]] through Virginia just to buy parts for Amiibos to sell on Etsy.<ref>[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]</ref> He wasted hundreds of dollars buying up Amiibos on eBay, thinking that the market for his custom figures would sustain itself indefinitely. This was not the case. and Chris eventually grew apathetic and bored with earning his own money. To complicate things further, Chris purchased a [[PS4]] in [[March 2016]]. The new life upgrade proved too distracting, and he ignored Etsy orders, often for months. Ultimately, Etsy took notice and banned his store from doing business.

===Self-publishing===
{{main|Lulu|Redbubble}}

Chris took over a decade to try any self-publishing channels. [[Clyde Cash]] beat him to the punch by posting Chris's comics on Lulu.com. Chris simply retorted by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails from 2010]], Chris claimed that he was working on fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task, and he eventually dropped the project. Undaunted, Chris began selling printed copies of the Sonichu comic on Lulu.com in [[September 2015]],<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Now Chris is on Lulu]]</ref> as well as offering autographed versions through Etsy (by ordering the comics from Lulu, signing them, then shipping to the buyers).

In [[December 2015]], Chris was banned from Lulu for selling [[Sonichu (comic)|fan fiction]].<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Account Suspended]]</ref> In true Chris fashion, he responded by threatening Lulu's executives with physical violence,<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Threatening Lulu's Executives]]</ref> despite the fact that he was on probation for [[26 December 2014|an act of violence]] against a GameStop employee. Chris was able to continue selling comics in [[January 2016]],<ref>https://archive.md/p0WVk</ref> probably rejoining Lulu under an alternate account. He was discovered within a few months, and again his account was shut down.

Deprived of other reliable avenues, Chris has torpidly sought other ways to sell his own works. He opened a shop on Redbubble, an online shopping company where users can sell custom-printed items based on images of the seller's choice, on 3 [[October 2017]], selling pictures of himself pre-[[Tomgirl]] and drawings of himself on framed pictures, pillows, and miniskirts, among others. Much later, on 23 [[November 2019]], the spiritual successor to Chris's Etsy opened as a new Web site of the same name: [[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]. Here, Chris would offer his [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|handmade trading cards]] for a ''[[My Little Pony]]''-themed game at extreme prices.

===Commissioning===
{{main|Paid Video Requests|Patreon|Cameo|OfficialCWCmart commissions}}
In December 2015, [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|'''the singularity''']] happened. On Etsy, Chris offered to create a personalized video message for anyone who paid $50. Many of his fans took him up on the offer, thinking they could become [[Weening|a part of Christory]] by simply handing their money over to him. He received four sales within the first three days,<ref>[[:File:Etsy unlisted videos.jpg]]</ref> although those customers opted for their videos to be unlisted. A few people also chose public videos for their birthday shoutouts.<ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Jonathan]]</ref> After losing his Etsy shop, Chris continued offering video requests through text messages.<ref>[[Update 20160718]]</ref>

The videos Chris delivers are characterized by:

*Laziness. He has often been late on delivering, missing deadlines for birthday greetings, despite having an abundance of free time.<ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref>

*Sloppiness. Chris chooses not to edit his takes or look presentable. He has delivered a video featuring an upskirt shot of his maxipad.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]</ref>

*Explicitly stating that the content is boring. In many videos, Chris has mentioned his low opinion of his customers, saying things like "Eh, whatever" and "Wow, that's crazy, that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. Whatever", while rolling his eyes.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter]]</ref><ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]</ref>

*Filling up paid content time with drivel or off-topic rambling,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref> despite the fact that his videos are advertised as "around a minute in length, on average, but can be longer in time length".<ref>[[Etsy#Custom, Birthday, Holiday, or General, Greeting Video featuring Christine Weston Chandler]]</ref>

In spite of these issues, he has a continuing stream of customers. A Kiwi Farms user named Vanillacone, summed up the mindset of the lot with his review of [[Happy Birthday, Jonathan|the $50 paid video he ordered from Chris]] (which consisted of him being late, babbling to fill up time, failing to spell the recipient's name correctly and delivering a video 39 seconds long out of the minimum one minute):

{{quotebox|To be honest, I got what I expected out of the video, and money well spent in my opinion.}}

Chris joined Patreon on 30 [[November 2016]] as a response to pressure from the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He initially set it up to beg for money, claiming that he would produce more Sonichu comics if his fans paid off his mortgage and bills – he was met with low support levels, generally below $40 per month. This suddenly changed around [[June 2017]]. Picking up momentum from resuming the Sonichu comic of his own volition in May, he revamped his Patreon to offer more reasonable support tiers for fans. He has enjoyed a significant uptick in support due to his continued work on the comic, earning around $500-600 per month. As his interest in his own comic has abated, and new pages more rarely released, patron support has shrivelled to about a third of its peak. Reforming his backer awards by distinguishing different ''[[Chris and English|teirs]]'' for every dollar level given have not improved his steady decline in support.

===Miscellaneous affairs===
{{main|Sonichu Entertainment of America}}
In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate Chris's belief that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value. Three years later, in [[April 2019]], ''Sonichu Entertainment of America'' was noted by Google Maps, prompting Chris to laud his company as legitimate in a video, though it would see no further activity.

On 24 [[November 2016]], Chris asked his audience to watch a clip of him playing ''[[Skylanders]]'', by uploading [[CWC vs Koas]], in order to promote the idea of selling his [[Chris and his Ego#Fixation on self-image|in-game figure]] to them using the game's [https://www.skylanders.com/creator Skylanders Creation app]. He would charge "$20 extra" for his autograph. He also said "I am not sharing my creation app chirp", since this would allow people to order directly from Skylanders and cut off Chris's goal of [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Chris Chan Amiibo Complete Three Piece Set (from Original Creator)|profiting from his self-image]].<ref>https://archive.md/fhBJ2</ref> On 12 January 2017, Chris uploaded [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]] as a half-hour advertisement video, showing off multiple ''Skylanders'' products he had ordered, a $15 card, a $30 T-shirt and a $50 3D-doll, all emblazoned with his avatar image, [[Financhu Crisis|totaling at least $90]].

[[File:Skylanders swag.png|thumb|The ''Skylanders'' raffle prizes, featuring images of Chris's custom game avatar.]]
Chris's largest business failure to date followed soon after. Various ''Skylanders'' avatar products and a Son-Chu figure were announced as prizes for a raffle Chris conceived<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Raffle for new merch]]</ref> to push sales of his [[stamps]], slated to run from 27 March through [[Honor roll|31 April]] 2017. The cost of entry was buying one of Bob's stamps or Chris's stamp album on eBay, with a limit of one entry per buyer. Initially, Chris announced that the winner would receive a [[Son-Chu]] figure and a ''Skylanders'' figure, and 15 runners-up would each receive a ''Skylanders'' card. A week later, he added ''more'' prizes to the mix: ''Skylanders'' T-shirts.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Another gimmick for stamp sales]]</ref>

[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|250px|thumb|left]]
Chris seemed to be banking on the $1,000 album selling, as it was the only scenario in which he could have shown a profit from the raffle – he promised an automatic win of a set of all three prizes. His expenditure for the raffle prizes totalled '''$840'''.<ref>He confirmed ordering $750 of Skylanders cards/T-shirts in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]. After the raffle, Chris mentioned [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017|in a video]] that he still needed to order the Skylanders figure and parts to make Son-Chu (estimated at $40).</ref> No one bought the album, and less than 15 people participated in the raffle (although a mass buyer had purchased 18 stamps). He was left with a '''negative profit of $674.24'''.<ref>[[Stamps#Raffle]]</ref>

In [[December 2020]], Chris teamed up with [[Praetor]] to produce more Sonichu [[medallions]]. The medallions are not created by Chris, but he (supposedly) oversees the design and production of the medallions. The medallions are of noticeably worse quality than those created by Chris, but that hasn't stopped the team from selling over 130 medallions as of 14 December 2020. The jointly-owned [[Etsy]] page can be found [https://www.etsy.com/shop/OfficialCWCmart here].

By [[May 2022]], the partnership with Praetor extended to [[Praetor Jail Art|selling monochrome artwork Chris had drawn whilst jailed]]. Naturally, given the [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|newer delusions Chris had begun to machinate shortly after ending up behind bars]], these drawings primarily center around his pseudo-religion.

{{clear}}

===Abortive ventures===
In [[November 2015]], Chris announced that he would be setting up a shop on '''Zazzle.com'''.<ref>[[Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology.]]</ref> He mentioned it again half a year later, in June 2016.<ref>[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]]</ref> No progress was made, and to this day, Chris has never opened a Zazzle shop. Why he dragged his feet so much is unknown: Zazzle takes care of manufacturing and shipping, and there are no startup costs. All he would have to do is take some Sonichu drawings and upload them.

In [[October 2017]], amid being the subject of '''interviews''' by [[Merryweathery]], [[Documentary|Sachumo]] and [[CopperCab]], Chris announced that he was open to being a guest on more interviews for payment<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_tweets#Accepting_paid_interviews</ref>. Although he didn't specify his going rate, Merryweathery mentioned that Chris had asked him for $200<ref>https://archive.md/r6gWI</ref>. He has since given interviews for free,<ref>[[Pappy Van Poodle Interview]]</ref> taking the bend out of this potential scheme (although it seems that he was paid for [[The Create Unknown]] interview in [[October 2020]]).

==Customers and their reasons for buying==
{{see also|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

{{quote|a piece of valuable Internet culture|A potential buyer on Chris's comics.}}

[[File:Potential customers.png|thumb|200px|Potential customers mull over buying Chris's comics on [[Patreon]].]]

While many who follow Chris refuse to give him money and shun those who do, buyers seem to regard Chris memorabilia as pieces of internet culture that might become valuable over time. A February 2019 video in which a customer unboxed a [[Sonichu 0]] comic printed from [[Lulu]] attracted over 100,000 views, and many commentators expressed a desire to buy for themselves.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5G5U-eLzEg</ref> Ironically, the resulting bump in Chris's Patreon gave him so many orders to fulfill that he crashed into slumber and simply ignored the backlog of orders.

==Ad revenue==

When he was uploading his ''Sonichu'' comic pages to the [[CWCipedia]] in 2009, the thought of monetizing his web comic didn't cross his mind. People had been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' – the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

In [[2016]], Chris monetized his YouTube channel<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube monetization]]</ref> and added a Support button<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube Support button]]</ref> (ostensibly to accept donations for Sonichu projects, even though he didn't want to work on that, and for a year, YouTube simply became another place from which he could beg for money).

It took a while for Chris to try drawing on-camera in [[Live Drawing Streams]], and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often and has done an extremely poor job of it. He simply sits in front of his [[PS4]] camera, which is hard-coded to only record in flipped mirror mode, and is positioned so that viewers see an upside-down video set at a dizzying angle.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content''.)

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional web cartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[Autism|autistic]] mind.

The same mindset also pervades every other aspect of his business, namely that Chris will procrastinate on shipping orders. A key example is how he almost fucked up the [[Sonic Totem]] sale - he received $1,500 for it, immediately wasted much of his profit on [[$400 gold necklace|bling]] and failed to ship it to the buyer on time, saying that he had run out of money to pay for mailing it, and only got around to having his mother scrounge up the cash to do so after the buyer filed a Paypal dispute. He also lost his Etsy shop as a direct result of his poor work ethic.

==Pipe dreams==

{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous aspirations to work in creative industries. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

=== Official publication ===

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[Chris and art|art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in the case of "original" creations. In the case of original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with the right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common, though infrequent. ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics#Action Comics Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', an anthology which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title and monthly format. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]'', ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]'' and more recently ''[[wikipedia:The New 52: Future's End|The New 52: Future's End]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] and [[Wikipedia:Valve Time|Valve]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

On 14 [[August 2017]], Chris uploaded a [[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content|video]] where he updated the True and Loyal Fanbase on his progress on ''Sonichu'' #13, which he has re-numbered as ''Sonichu'' #12-9. He states that he decided to change the focus of the comic. Instead of being a crossover between the Sonichu gang and the [[Planet Dolan]] crew, it would instead be a fanfiction devoted to his pony avatar, [[Night Star]]. Throughout the video, he mentions how he not only wants the comic to be a piece of fanfiction, [[Chris and reality|but how he also wants it to be canon to ''My Little Pony'', where he himself would voice Night Star]]. Of course, Chris doesn't seem to realize that the creators of the show can't just simply pick up his idea because, as stated earlier, it may lead to an accusation of idea theft.

Yet another reason why the publishing industry wouldn't accept Sonichu in its current state is because of how [[Chris and writing|sloppily written]] and [[Chris and his ego|egocentric it is in tone]]. If a publisher somehow ''did'' agree to make Sonichu comics, they would more likely task other writers (not to mention artists) with actual talents to shape up the premise into something at least passable. Predictably enough, Chris would balk at lacking control over his life's work (and of course, anyone doing better than him).

===Games and merchandise===
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give an equal amount of thought on the countless ideas fans send them. While game companies may listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was that the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games take a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Surprisingly, in the [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]], then high schooler-aged Chris offered a (slightly) better description of how the three fictional Sonic game releases he hoped for would play out than his proposals for Sonichu games later on and even then, they're highly basic and unoriginal ideas (e.g. ''Super Mario 64'' with Sonic the Hedgehog as its playable character and ''Super Mario All-Stars'' with the four classic ''Sonic'' games originally for Sega Genesis).

Theoretically, it would be possible, though extraordinarily unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough to make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

To the surprise of no one, Chris has held onto dreams of Sonichu getting turned into a video game character well into [[November 2023]], when he posted a request to "personally" work with [[Nintendo]], offering them his OCs to be integrated into Pokémon canon<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Offering to work with Nintendo]]</ref>. Equally unsurprising is that Chris seems to be unaware (willfully or otherwise) that Nintendo has nothing to gain by granting fans' (ludicrous) desires for all the reasons mentioned here.

===In general===
An issue Chris would face in the industries he aspired to contribute towards is that mainstream publishers will not allow ''any'' pornographic material ([[Sonichu 8|which Chris had nonchalantly drawn into his supposedly kid-friendly comic]]), thus Chris would be forced to comply with a set of rules to make his magnum opus acceptable for the masses, and we all know how ''that'' would turn out.

By a similar token, both Nintendo and Sega would probably not allow [[Sonichu 10|the extreme violent]] [[Sonichu 8|and sexual imagery]] the comic didn't shy away from, especially since he considers Sonichu appropriate for kids (although he did imagine his [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles| Adult Chronicles]] to be rated M for [[Honest Content]]). And that's if they didn't reject it outright ''because of'' said imagery, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|not to mention Chris had drawn smut of his magnum opus himself in the past]] which could make a bad first impression on any reputable company approached to work with him.

Not to mention that Chris, being the egotist we know and love, would have to essentially hand over the rights for Sonichu to whichever company agrees to own his IP, meaning he would have no little to no say in how it plays out according to his whims.

If Chris actually ''were'' in a position of creative control, consider this; during the majority of time the [[CWCipedia]] was online, Chris acted as if he had free reign to dictate a site ''others made and hosted for him'', so letting him be head honcho of a comic or game production would be a colossal mistake. Needless to say, the [[Chris and stress|stress]] of working under him would lead some unfortunate writers/developers to quit and/or the higher-ups to [[Wendy's|eventually fire him]].

==The future of Chris and his business attempts==
After [[Affair With Mother|the life-changing incest scandal in the mid-summer of 2021]],[[Praetor]] successfully continued business with Chris, selling drawings he had made during incarceration and, since his release from jail, a further run of [[Medallions]] and other assorted junk, as well as setting up livestreams. As mentioned in the intro, these business ventures seem to be providing a steady stream of income for Chris, so much so that he was able to sink his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]] and finally become "employed" again.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris and work]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[DStecks]], a person who gave Chris $1,000 for more Sonichu pages.
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}
{{BusinessList}}

User:FullNameUnknown/The Demon Theory of Christory

2026-07-18T19:49:56Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{essay}}
{{IncompleteEssay}}

Good day everyone, and welcome to my TED Talk. It is obvious to every Christorian, from the veterans to the novices, that there is a deeper corruption within Chris-Chan beyond simple autism or narcissism. Clearly, Chris Chan is now in some sort of advanced form of schizophrenia, going from a relatively harmless (if not horrendously annoying) man-child when Sonichu was created in 2000 to a hulking, walking embarrassment who has lost any resemblance of thought grounded in the real world. As time went on, the meager amount of mental faculty that Chris Chan possessed slowly degraded into dust, replaced by vivid hallucinations of grandeur and deity-like power — until there was simply nothing left. But even from his attendance at community college, to the present-day sagas, even through the days of the Second Exile, there has been one persistent facet of his personality that refuses to die: his attention-seeking.

Chris-Chan’s inability to stay out of the spotlight has forever defined his life, extreme autism notwithstanding (although certainly a contributor to it). Chris-Chan's entire online presence seems to be a recursive cycle of attention, feeding into his ego; Chris inputs something out into the world or reacts to something, and the world reacts to Chris's input or reaction, thereby giving him more attention and more motive to give input or reaction. The documentation of this cycle (being this wiki) is also a form of giving him attention, since no other man or woman of such little repute can also claim to have this much of their life documented.

Many have taken note of this cycle, and some have even gone so far to claim that this cycle has been intentionally built to support some master-level psy-op to intentionally troll us all. While this is not true, it is extremely hard to deny that Chris Chan hasn’t been doing much of this for attention, at least subconsciously. There have been times where Chris was able to control his histrionic tendencies online: mainly in 2012 and 2013, suggesting that he is or was partly able to subdue them at times. However, it always circles back into attention-whoring, with him not being able to run away from the trolls that were so easily escapable and so horrifyingly corruptive.

However, I am here to propose a different explanation. This is no product of mere retardation or faggery, as the trolls would suggest. No, the force that drives

User:FullNameUnknown/The Demon Theory of Christory

2026-07-18T19:49:16Z

FullNameUnknown: Created page with "{{essay}} {{IncompleteEssay}} Good day everyone, and welcome to my TED Talk. It is obvious to every Christorian, from the veterans to the novices, that there is a deeper corruption within Chris-Chan beyond simple autism or narcissism. Clearly, Chris Chan is now in some sort of advanced form of schizophrenia, going from a relatively harmless (if not horrendously annoying) man-child when Sonichu was created in 2000 to a hulking, walking embarrassment who has lost any rese..."

{{essay}}
{{IncompleteEssay}}

Good day everyone, and welcome to my TED Talk. It is obvious to every Christorian, from the veterans to the novices, that there is a deeper corruption within Chris-Chan beyond simple autism or narcissism. Clearly, Chris Chan is now in some sort of advanced form of schizophrenia, going from a relatively harmless (if not horrendously annoying) man-child when Sonichu was created in 2000 to a hulking, walking embarrassment who has lost any resemblance of thought grounded in the real world. As time went on, the meager amount of mental faculty that Chris Chan possessed slowly degraded into dust, replaced by vivid hallucinations of grandeur and deity-like power — until there was simply nothing left. But even from his attendance at community college, to the present-day sagas, even through the days of the Second Exile, there has been one persistent facet of his personality that refuses to die: his attention-seeking.

Chris-Chan’s inability to stay out of the spotlight has forever defined his life, extreme autism notwithstanding as a factor (although certainly a contributor). Chris-Chan's entire online presence seems to be a recursive cycle of attention, feeding into his ego; Chris inputs something out into the world or reacts to something, and the world reacts to Chris's input or reaction, thereby giving him more attention and more motive to give input or reaction. The documentation of this cycle (being this wiki) is also a form of giving him attention, since no other man or woman of such little repute can also claim to have this much of their life documented.

Many have taken note of this cycle, and some have even gone so far to claim that this cycle has been intentionally built to support some master-level psy-op to intentionally troll us all. While this is not true, it is extremely hard to deny that Chris Chan hasn’t been doing much of this for attention, at least subconsciously. There have been times where Chris was able to control his histrionic tendencies online: mainly in 2012 and 2013, suggesting that he is or was partly able to subdue them at times. However, it always circles back into attention-whoring, with him not being able to run away from the trolls that were so easily escapable and so horrifyingly corruptive.

However, I am here to propose a different explanation. This is no product of mere retardation or faggery, as the trolls would suggest. No, the force that drives

User:FullNameUnknown

2026-07-18T19:47:29Z

FullNameUnknown:

balls lmao

[[User:FullNameUnknown/The Demon Theory of Christory]]

User:FullNameUnknown

2026-07-18T19:46:49Z

FullNameUnknown: Created page with "balls lmao"

balls lmao

CWC's Second Message

2026-07-18T17:04:15Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}
{{Quote|Citizens of the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.|And so it begins...}}

'''CWC's Second Message''' (a.k.a. '''Madman Rising''') is the [[video]] that introduced [[the internet]] to the world of [[Chris]]. It was posted to [[YouTube]] on 3 [[August 2008]].

After months of trying to either ignore or edit his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Chris [[Chris and anger|explodes with fury]]. He blames ED for causing his fallout with [[Megan Schroeder]], although anyone with a brain could tell that it was his fault for drawing [[She Came for CWC|pornography involving her]] and sharing it to the world. Ironically, in trying to blame ED for the demise of his friendship with her, Chris unwittingly subjects Megan to further public humiliation by revealing that she is the subject of the pornographic drawing in question, rather than Chris's fictional sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], who most trolls had until this point believed to be the woman in the drawing. Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, [[trolls]] were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands.

This is a beloved classic in the CWChronology, and it was in this video that Chris unintentionally coined the term "[[pedofork]]". It is also one of the most prominent examples of Chris's use of the CWC-isms 'Dykes' and 'China' to refer to his alleged heterosexuality.

Throughout the video there are several noticeable skips and jump cuts; it's unclear whether these are a result of technical issues, or whether Chris edited down the video from something longer.

==Video==
{{Tardrage|1=border:4px solid #FF1493|2=[[Homos|flamboyant]]}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| ytid = kPQlpGFWNgE
| stardate = 3 [[August 2008]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{ED|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

===Transcript===
''Citizens of the Internet'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because...I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate...show me a lot of hate...and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just...hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. [[Twin Falling Towers|You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture]], because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You. ''You!'' Every last one of you, who has shispressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that... Of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''... ''You're'' the pedophiles. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homos|homo]] and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm '''''straight!''''' ''You’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could--I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically, again''] It m--it helps me see better...see more detail...and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together...out of your own ego that you so richly...[''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But...on a more serious note: learning recently of the false--or real--literature, with downloaded...''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So...it ''is'' a fake...and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life...that you are torturing and--worse off--tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out--the innocent--still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress...that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own...hands...''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw! To color! Because the loneliness...I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that Encyclopedia Dramatica webpage...and every other forum, internet document, lewdly-drawn pictures with...''dicks''. I love ''dykes! DYKES!'' '''''[[China|CHINA]]!''''' [''jump cut''] I'm ''straight!'' If I ever--if I see a dick, [[Dick Licker; that is I|I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out!]] [''makes arm gesture for “safe!” in baseball'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|left|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to "Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?", "Will the 7 [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?", "Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?" ''And'' am I--am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item--" which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti--so much long ago because...the contributors to that ED page...you broke the emotional stre--strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''...you broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''5'' pictures]]! Those 5 drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for--and just for--for...taking it up,and--twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing--no more official Sonichu...art or work may...or may not...ever emerge...depending...on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''SHIT''...in the first place, back on that [[Halloween]] of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose--such ''lucrid'' mockeries...is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...as I am telling you this, right into my [[PlayStation Eye]]!

[[Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|thumb|Mmmm, China!]]

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will...give her such care, such tenderness, such love...we get around to the [[hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good...we get married. I will have my God--create--my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of...lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''...if I ever hear another--any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''...emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a [[pedofork]], you '''DORKS!'''

[''sighs''] I tell ya...so much anger, so much stress...it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "[[wikipedia:Sixteen Tons|Sixteen tons]], whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in "debt"'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can--but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that--because [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|I am]] [[26 December 2014|more]] [[28 October 2011|kind]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|than]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|ya]] [[Death threats|think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey, or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down for''ev''er. It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide...from sound mind and ''heart''...it will weigh heavily on you.

[[Obesity|It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.]] {{clear}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC - "Dykes Dykes China" (Adapted Music Video)
| ytid = IdV5BUk9-vo
| stardate = 13 July 2009
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXfiwjz5uR0LzSt0Ww3rehA theimperiousdorkblog]
| type = Music video [[parody]] of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby"
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008| 03]]
[[Category:ED Saga videos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:PSEye videos|2008-08-08]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

6-10 April 2026 Cameo videos

2026-07-18T15:43:21Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Chris Has A Mental Breakdown */

{{Transcript}}

This page lists [[Cameo]] videos that Chris was paid to do, released 6 to the 10 [[April 2026]].

==Chris Has A Mental Breakdown==
Tagged as "Other for Josh Smith"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/69d33a30ea0eec5845c79159</ref>
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Has A Mental Breakdown
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 6 [[April 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Reality|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}, {{Incest|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[First Wedding Anniversary]]
| next = [[6 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ave's Birthday|Ave's Birthday]]
}}

===Transcript===

====Recording 1====

(Transscriber's Note: Chris's speech impediments really come out in full force here. She needs to fucking learn how to enunicate.)

Oh hey Josh, just um, thank you for your kindness and support here, y'know, just everything...

Hmmm... ''[struggles to read what's on the request]'' ok-ey, well just reading whatchu, uh, wrote here. Um, oof- hm...

Well, present moment, I am watching a bunch of, uh, ''[YouTuber's name I probably don't recognize. Sounded like LightningBus]''' 's story-time videos where she speaks through and [[Chris and english|tell]] her stories, just- ''[switches to ear-piercingly high voice]'' Well, I need to get this off my chest, but well- she has had better social-socializing success and, like, y'know congratulations to her and everything, and I can now feel free to tell her [[Speech impediment|dis]] and all, but... ''[Kicks voice up another semitone] I'm jealous!''

''[Gives a tard stare for a few seconds. Really looks into your soul.]''

''[Begins pounding desk]'' About of all the '''''damn [[Chris and censorship|F-CKING]] TROLLS BEHIND ME, and everything!''''' [[Speech impediment|About like, how they can claim- and everything-]] and how they can claim that they can scare me into like, [[Incest Saga|''LYING TO THE WORLD, essentially,'' back in 2021]], lyin' to EVERYBODY! ''[Arm flopps onto body.]''

Anyways, just... Congratulations to her. ''[Stutters for a moment]'' [[Speech impediment|Zxhe]] has had better success for her online socializing than I ever had.

''[Breathes in, then switches back to ear-piercingly high voice ]''

'''I mean, I'm just ''scared'' of socializing! I mean, I'm just ''scared!''''' I'm scared [[Transgender|straight]], it's [[Speech impediment|impersoner]], (unintelligible)?<ref>Chris is so fucking hard to understand here, I have no idea if what I'm typing is actually correct. I am not fluent with the language of slow-in-the-mind, it seems.</ref>

So... if you wanna spread this around , just go ahead. [[Chris and hypocrisy|I don't care.]] It's my [[Tard rage|emotional vent]]. Whatever! ''[Puts fingers together, closes eyes, then starts mumbling]'' [[Pokemon|I call my meditation "Focus Mind"]].

''[Breathes in and out for about 15 seconds]''

Alright well, just, calm mind and clear sense and focusing some light power towards you.

Josh, follow that is light-powered and good. Be safe and well, and take care. Thank you for your kindness and support. ''[Puts palm to camera and makes a weird, angelic sound.]''

==Ave's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Ave"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/69d405ad6eb69279d2edd2a4</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Ave's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 6 [[April 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Television|text}}, {{Autism|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[6 April 2026 Cameo videos#Chris Has A Mental Breakdown|Chris Has A Mental Breakdown]]
| next = [[7 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and FNaF is Real|Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and FNaF is Real]]
}}

==Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and [[List of Chris's video games#Steam|FNaF]] is Real==
Tagged as "Pep Talk for Daniel"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/69d5966ba58e48cfea28a896</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and FNaF is Real
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 7 [[April 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[6 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ave's Birthday|Ave's Birthday]]
| next = [[8 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ali's Birthday|Ali's Birthday]]
}}

==Ali's Birthday==
Tagged as "Birthday for Ali"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/69d6991e370b6ced29afcc6c</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Ali's Birthday
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 8 [[April 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[7 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and FNaF is Real|Ignore Short Feisty Cigar Man and FNaF is Real]]
| next = [[6-10 April 2026 Cameo videos#Jerry's Third Roast|Jerry's Third Roast]]
}}

==Jerry's Third Roast==
Tagged as "Roast for Jerry"<ref>https://www.cameo.com/jchristchansp/feed/69d9afb421f1c63bdee66e9c</ref>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Jerry's Third Roast
| video = {{#ev:youtube|}}
| stardate = 10 [[April 2026]]
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt =
| other =
| previous = [[6-10 April 2026 Cameo videos#Ali's Birthday|Ali's Birthday]]
| next = [[11-15 April 2026 Cameo videos]]
}}

===Response===
The commissioner left a review:
{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=Never Pass Your Torch|I am not married to Jerry. His wife does not like my marriage advice.}}

{{References}}
{{Paid Videos}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2026]]

Incest Texts

2026-07-18T14:24:53Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{Protip|Shockingly, these texts include detailed first-hand descriptions of incest. If you don't wanna hear about it, don't read.}}

The '''Incest Texts''' refer to text messages sent by Chris in which he discussed his [[Affair with Mother|incestuous affair with his mother]].

Screenshots of the texts are undated. Clues indicate a possible date of the night of 28 July 2021.{{refn|group="note"|By Fiona's timezone, the texts were leaked on the night of 29 July 2021, a Thursday. The texts are dated as Wednesday and the final text is stamped "Yesterday".}} If true this would place the texts as occurring a day after the [[Incest Call]].

The recipient of the texts is similarly unclear; clues indicate Chris sent the messages to [[Bella]].{{refn|group="note"|Chris told Null he had told only Bella of the incest,<ref>[[Null DMs#Incest leak questioning]]</ref> screenshots of the texts show the top notification bar as being similar to the bar in the [[Bella chats#Preparing for Video Call|chats with Bella]] from 27 July 2021 onwards.}}

This conversation took place over the encrypted text/video call app Signal,{{refn|group="note"|Notification bar for the texts match the bar in other messages sent via Signal.<ref>[[Bella chats#Preparing for Video Call]]</ref>}} which Chris recommended out of concern the government may hack the conversation (having learned about the app by using it to communicate with Null).<ref>[[Bella chats#Chris Wants to Spill the Beans]]</ref>

The texts were leaked on the early morning hours of 30 [[July 2021]], at 1:32 AM EST, by [[Fiona]].<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ouel67/more_barb_x_chris_leaks_from_the_trolls/ [https://archive.fo/19Xfj (Archive)]</ref> Following the leak, [[Null]] asked Chris if the screenshots were real, and Chris confirmed it.<ref>[[Null DMs#Incest questioning]]</ref>

The Texts, along with the Incest Call, led to Chris being jailed on an incest charge for nearly two years, until the [[autism disorder deferred disposition]] caused the court to dismiss the charge in exchange for Chris completing the program's terms.

== The texts ==

Chris's messages are quoted below.

{{quotebox|Just going ahead and sharing this with you, fresh experience.

On the Strictly Confidential just between you and I.

So, yes, [[Barb]] and I just had another romp in the hay and an extensive cuddle.

Tonight, I started looking into a more consistent pattern to my massaging. And I took the input and focused on getting blood flow into the groin area.

Before tonight, I did not really have a set pattern in the massage, aside from feet and legs, followed by hands and arms, the face, front torso, and then a roll-over for her back.

I have found a more consistent method that works between the legs and arms, but I was inconsistent in the hands and feet.
Anyway

Also made another attempt at rubbing her vagina, externally at first, then slipping in between the lips and rubbing the inner labia. Then she told me to stop. She's getting more used to being played with down there by hand.

Would you Believe she has literally Never Ever masturbated in her entire life?

And, obviously those out of the eight guys, counting [[Robertchu]], before me were not hitting her G-Spot as much with their cocks. I had attempted the first night to rub her in there; I found her spot, but it hurt her. But, alternatively, I did find that at cunnilingus, I was good at it with my tongue.

And I did also stimulate her clit; that does not seem to hurt her as much, but she still has a limit with that spot as well.

Anyway, we're making progress.

And when we cuddle, and this actually impresses me More, I literally feel our souls bonding and coming together as one during that time. Damn, it feels soo good when that happens.

And we talk a good while as well before she heads back upstairs.

I have been sending her meditation tracks to stimulate her brain and bring back some of her youth, and the results do show, most splendidly.
I am soo proud of her.

And from her stories she told me tonight, she Even remembered a fun story that Involved her daddy from when she was two years old.

Two Years Old.

That in itself at her age is Massively Good!

She has had memory problems at time beforehand, yes, but she is being better stimulated in her mind and soul, and it Really Shows! Her mental processing speed is even going back up.

She FEELS This and has told me so, herself.

And I am soo happy and content that I am able to help her out like this.

And It helps me as well, because of the experience, and the education and learning}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Incest Texts1.png
File:Incest Texts2.png
File:Incest Texts3.png
File:Incest Texts4.png
File:Incest Texts5.png
</gallery></center>

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

{{IncestSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

CWCki:Gossip

2026-07-18T14:20:59Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Flutter */

{{quote|Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it|''Jonathan Swift''<ref>https://scholar.google.com/scholar_lookup?title=A%20Modest%20Proposal%20and%20Other%20Prose&author=J%20Swift&publication_year=2004&</ref>}}
This article will act as a namespace for the misinformation variant of the [[Template:Unreliable|"Unreliable"]] template and the [[Template:Misinfo|"Misinfo"]] template, explaining what kind of misinformation, misconceptions, or unproven claims are commonly believed about the article's subject.
<center>{{GossipTOC}}</center>
__NOTOC__
==[[Affair with Mother]]==

*Many have come to believe that Chris had sexually assaulted his own mother when the news came out that he has had an incestuous affair with her following the leak of the infamous [[Incest Call]]. This notion would be perpetuated by several YouTubers and news panels, sometimes indirectly by claiming that Barb has dementia. Despite this, Chris has only ever been charged with "INCEST W/ OWN CHILD OR GRANDCHILD"<ref group = note>This charge appears to be used for all instances of parent-child and grandparent-grandchild incest at the jail Chris was sent to, probably due to character limits in the charge descriptions, as well as the fact that the text was likely generated from the numeric code for the offense.</ref> after this affair, and was never officially charged for rape or sexual assault.

Along with that, claims that Barbara had dementia had primarily came from begging videos where she could be playing up her frailty to elicit pity for money. (See: [[CWCki:Gossip#Barbara Chandler|Barbara Chandler]]). Therefore, whether or not this affair was entirely consensual is inconclusive.

==[[Anaxis]]==
*It is sometimes stated that Anaxis is female as a result of being referred to by she/her pronouns. However, this was only when he role-played as the character [[Lainchu]], who is female.


==[[Autism]]==
*It is common for observers to attempt to diagnose Chris as having "more than just autism", speculating what other types of disabilities or disorders he may have.
**It is also common to suggest that Chris couldn't possibly be autistic because of his sex drive, or conversely that the Love Quest is his way of overcompensating for the lack thereof. While asexuality (a lack of attraction to other people sexually, which isn't necessarily the same as a low sex drive, since asexuals can masturbate to pure sensation) is more common among autistic people, it is far from universal.
**Chris's lack of singing ability has been occasionally attributed to his autism. While a lack of control of inflections, or standard presentation thereof, is a common trait of autistic ''speech'', autistic people are actually more likely to excel in analyzing, hearing, imagining ("audiation"), and producing exact pitches, and are more likely to have perfect pitch.
**Some people claim that Chris was self-diagnosed. His [[Autism papers]] differ.
**Many also view mild autism as being synonymous with mild intellectual disability. However, autistics are often of normal or high intelligence. Chris's IQ is unknown.
**Chris has occasionally been accused of having a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia. Such a condition has neither been confirmed or denied. While Chris has occasionally hinted at believing cartoon characters to be real, he does clearly separate that "reality" from the actual reality by acknowledging them as existing in a separate dimension. While him seeing the characters might sound like Chris hallucinating, further analysis reveals that Chris is simply imagining them.
***While Chris post-jail has exhibited what some have identified as side-effects of ''anti''psychotics (such as mild sedation, rapid weight gain after losing most of it in prison, twitches that can't be explained as stims, etc.), those drugs are often prescribed as mere tranquilizers to people for a variety of reasons, including as an elective treatment for autistic irritability, and Chris never confirmed or denied taking them anyway.

==[[Autism disorder deferred disposition]]==
*Though Chris was dismissed from the case regarding his affair with Barb accounting for his autism, it should be noted he wasn't found innocent either. The records regarding the full scope of the case are sealed.

==[[Bailey Jay]]==
*It is often rumored that Chris was actually not disgusted by Bailey at all, and in fact was hitting on her. This appears to come from the fact that Chris still called her "pretty", even after discovering she was a "[[hermaphrodite]]", and the rather vague way he responded to her apologizing for accidentally sending him more nude photos after his initial shock. Though this isn't entirely impossible, it also hasn't been fully proven that this was the case.

==[[Barbara Chandler]]==
*Gossipers often speculate on whether Barbara has dementia, mainly based on occasional begging videos directed by Chris from the mid-2010s where she appears to have delayed speech or lapses in memory. However, such videos offer an incomplete and warped perspective of Barbara, as background context - such as how coherent Chris was in explaining what he wanted filmed - is unknown. In contrast, videos where Barbara either [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|walked in on a livestream]] or was [[Chris Chan VS. The Internet|interviewed without Chris's involvement]] show her as more cognizant. In August 2019, Chris claimed Barbara did not have dementia.<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#Barb ain't dead yet + Magi-Chan's likes]]</ref> Other glimpses at Barbara's life from that point on show her handling her own [[debt]] better than Chris,<ref>Despite owing more than Chris, she has avoided garnishment filings unlike Chris</ref> managing her own doctor appointments,<ref>[[The Place chats (November 2020)#Chris's Body Shakes]]</ref> and even reminding Chris of his own debt hearing,<ref>[[Other chats leaked by Naught (September 2020)#Debt hearing, toys, Merge]]</ref> all of which points against the dementia theory. When interacting with a prank caller in [[December 2023]] and with a fan in [[February 2025]], Barbara demonstrated awareness of Chris, suggesting the former read [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]<ref>[[Sonichussy Call]]</ref> and commenting to the latter that it was [[Chris's birthday]] that day.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Barb]]</ref>

==[[Bob Chandler]]==
*Bob's rather complicated relationship with Chris is often times simplified into either being entirely good or entirely bad.
**It is sometimes stated that Bob had stopped caring about Chris at some point in his life, and only showed concern for his involvement with trolls for his own purposes. Such instances of this include supposedly paying Chris's high school gal-pals for their time with Chris, as well as his [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|intervention with Chris]] when trolls leaked their address online. These are based on speculation, however.
*One rumor is that Bob did Chris's college work for him, but isn't proven, and Chris's poor grades indicate otherwise.
*Bob is sometimes stated to be a Korean War veteran. This is incorrect. He served in the US Army Signal Corps during [[wikipedia:Operation Blacklist Forty|Operation Blacklist Forty]] — the American occupation of the southern half of Korea after World War II — and was discharged in 1948, never seeing combat.

==[[Caden Peck]]==
*It was believed for some time that Caden Peck had approved of Larry Vaughn's plan to send Chris to Florida, though this came from Vaughn reiterating what [[Bella]], who has been known to betray her associates (in this case Praetor) told him.
*It is often stated that Caden had staged some of the [[Sightings|Post-Jail sightings]] in order to promote sales towards Praetor, usually attributing accounts that post their photos to him posting them through the use of throwaway and sock puppet accounts on websites such as [[Reddit]] and [[Kiwi Farms]]. However, such claims come down to conjecture, and there are so far no confirmed cases of this.

==[[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]]==
*It is often said that the ''Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History'' documentary series by [[Geno Samuel]] had a lot of influence on Christory. However, the only major confirmed instance of its influence on Christory was inspiring [[KwaiiSandbag]] to troll Chris in 2021, which lead to snapping Chris out of the idea he was [[Spirit possession|body swapped]] with Sonichu.

==[[Clyde Cash]]==
*It is believed by some that the Clyde Cash persona was played by multiple people taken on by one identity. While several people would go under the name "Clyde Cash", mostly for completely unrelated plans, the original persona most associated with Christory was played by a single troll. This same troll would play as other characters in Christory, including [[Vivian Gee]], Gregg Mays, and [[Mao Ling]].



==[[Emergency Protective Order]]==

*Though the document lists Barb as a "victim", and ordered Chris to be taken away from Barb, who was deemed an "alleged abused person", Chris was still only charged for incest under Virginia Law, which doesn't specify a victim.

==[[Fiona Cooper]]==
Fiona Cooper, also known as Snoo or "The Suitress", was invited by Chris to join him and Bella to the [[Brony]] convention [[Everfree Northwest]]. Bella then invited Fiona into one of her Discord servers after she and Fiona were invited into The WCT's [[Knights of CWC]] server. After Bella had a call with Chris regarding his affair with his mother, she gave a clip of it to Fiona, who then shared it to a group of people in another server, causing it to get leaked.

*Much like with Chris, Fiona being autistic led to a flurry of misconceptions, with many sources putting great emphasis on this facet of her.
**It is sometimes stated that Fiona was mentally handicapped as a result of her being autistic. In actuality, autism is a spectrum, and affects those who have it differently, excelling in some areas over others; intellectual or otherwise. The belief that Fiona is mentally impaired appears to stem from the fact that [[Spooky Bones]] made a post on Kiwi Farms discouraging others from doxing Fiona, while calling her an "extremely autistic young woman". Despite such claims, nothing about Fiona indicates she's intellectually or otherwise mentally impaired.
**It is sometimes speculated that Chris supposedly didn't pursue Fiona because of her autism, citing his attraction sign, which explicitly stated that he didn't want an autistic girlfriend. This is ignoring the fact that said attraction sign was created 20 years before he met Fiona, and that Chris's tastes have drastically evolved over time.
**Fiona being autistic, combined with being framed by Bella, also led to the assumption of Fiona being a Chris-like figure, with some even going as far to claim she's more of a "vulnerable adult" than Chris is. This had led to the belief she was meant to serve as a "fall girl" and many of the other rumors mentioned in this section, with beliefs in her being mentally impaired leading to the assumption that she didn't have accountability in her involvement in Christory.
*It is a common belief that Fiona asked to be censored on the CWCki and elsewhere, with some accounts stating she changed her mind afterwards. In actuality, Fiona never made such requests in the first place, and even actively went against people's attempts at censoring her. The obfuscation of Fiona primarily arose from stigma surrounding her getting doxed followed by Bella framing her. Additionally, the Suitress policy on the CWCki was an entirely unilateral decision made by a single CWCki jerkop, [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] in response to this stigma. He also did not ask for the input of other users on the CWCki, nor did he ask Fiona personally if she wanted to be censored. Upon returning on a throwaway account on Reddit, Fiona both announced she was the "Everfree Suitress" and posted a picture of herself promoting her throwaway. The belief that she wanted censorship appears to stem from the fact that Psycho's inspiration for the policy was the Wallflower policy, where that actually did happen.
*It is a commonly held belief that Fiona wanted to be Chris's sweetheart. While she had admitted to having an actual crush on him, she had never actually stated to have a desire to be a sweetheart of his, or to be in a long-term relationship with him. She would claim in texts, however, that she was "fine with the friends with benefits thing" and that Chris considers her his "first real sweetheart".<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Discussion of Incest]]</ref>
*Along with the first point, it is often speculated by observers why Chris supposedly didn't pursue a relationship with Fiona, and chose Barbara over her. In reality, Chris seemed to have held a rather conflicting standpoint towards her attraction towards him, claiming in chats and calls that he didn't see the relationship lasting long, forseeing that she'd meet a long-term sweetheart in college. However, Chris would also promise to her in a recording regarding Everfree Northwest not to be enraged at the G5 merchandise that may show up, and state that he "loved" her. He would also claim in a text that having sex with her would be the right step for her to take both for her "emotional and mental development". Fiona would also claim in a conversation with Bella that Chris was "embarressed and nervous" at the thought of his first real sweetheart. Chris would also refer to her by a pet name, "Fifi", that he had given to her in a [[Jail Letter - 4 July 2022|jail letter]]. Along with all of that, Chris had been having his affair with his mother since late June, roughly a month before he ever met Fiona.
*It is often claimed that Bella wanted to film Chris having sex with Fiona for blackmail purposes, usually following that she'd do this to frame him as a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. This appears to be a rumor loosely based on two excerpts from the [[Incest Call]] and excerpts from leaked messages involving Bella. With regards to the Call, the first excerpt was where Bella discusses her friend [[Fiona]] (who held a crush on Chris) and tries to encourage Chris to pursue a relationship with her. In the second, Bella said she would create a slideshow of romantic stuff between Chris and Fiona during the [[Everfree Northwest]] convention festivities. Bella does not seem to actually state wanting to put any sexual content into the presentation. Adding onto that, Chris already discussed with Bella about the planned sexual intercourse he'd have with Fiona before she made the call. With regards to the leaked messages, Bella tried to create a cover story to protect Fiona when questioned by the Knights, claiming she was a minor. This was after the calls got leaked, and after plans for the convention were arranged, so it is unlikely that Bella intended to frame Chris of being a pedophile.
*It is sometimes stated that Fiona was a victim of sexual abuse, explaining certain factors such as her crush towards Chris. Though this isn't entirely out of the realm of possibilities, this hasn't been fully confirmed. Additionally, since her account was deleted prior, some of the evidence for this came from Kiwi Farms users trying to attribute her to posts from deleted accounts on the CWCki's Discord server being referred to as "Snoo", her screenname on said server. This search for her posts also didn't account for the fact that she used a second account, which used an entirely different name, "ScootalooSister", after being banned from the server the first time.<ref group = note>[[User:Anaxis/The Lainchu Manifesto#The Suitress and Associates|Anaxis]] claims that Fiona wasn't aware she got banned prior to making the second account, though she also stated that people on there naturally "missed her".</ref>
**In addition to this, Bella is often cited to want to "steal" Fiona from Chris, often to represent it as her wanting to sexually assault her. Such claims, however, are based on out-of-context chats involving Bella stating that she became "besties" with Fiona, and swore to protect her from Chris.<ref>[[Chess club#More Bella Thirst]]</ref> This also ignores the fact that Fiona herself engaged in flirtatious behaviors with Bella, sending her a picture of both her face and legs, and telling Bella she "had sex with men", meaning that whatever feelings Bella had towards Fiona were entirely consensual.<ref>[[Chess club#Bella Thirst]]</ref> Bella had also stated that she only wanted to go to the convention to dance with Fiona at the Grand Galloping Gala event at the convention but otherwise hadn't expressed anything beyond that.<ref>[[Chess club#Everfree Dance]]</ref>
*It is often stated that Fiona was brought to a "mental hospital" or was "institutionalized" after her encounters with Chris, with the story usually stating it was a result of GiBi leaking her phone number or as a result of Bella framing her. Chris also repeated this rumor in an interview he had with Keffals. In actuality, this is an exaggeration made regarding events surrounding Fiona being told to the Mean Girls by her friend Grant. One of the Mean Girls had stated that Grant told them that Fiona had her internet privileges revoked, and "may have" been brought into inpatient psychiatric care.<ref>{{cite farms|thread = 96787|post = 9663622|writer = Basalas}}</ref> Grant seemed to have chosen not to give the exact details surrounding this, but this essentially means that Fiona was temporarily brought to therapy for a short period, likely overnight. This is not the same thing as being put in a "mental hospital".

==[[Flutter]]==
After Chris was released from Jail, he was spotted many times with an unnamed gal-pal, usually referred to as "Flutter". Often deemed as being one of the most mysterious aspects of Christory, several rumors surrounding her and her relations to Chris had naturally arisen afterwards.

*Some believe that Flutter was a recruit from [[Praetor]], though actual proof of this has yet to surface.
*It is often supposed that Flutter is Finnish (or perhaps Finnish-American) since Chris began studying Finnish in [[Duolingo]] for no particular reason around the time he met her and subsequently went to Finland multiple times with her. However, these factors cannot be classified as hard proof. Additionally, one observer stated that she had no noticeable foreign accent and other claimed that she spoke with an affected "anime girl" voice.
*It is sometimes stated that Flutter might be mentally handicapped. While this isn't entirely out of the realm of possibilities, most of this comes down to conjecture than anything substantiated. This appears to be based on Chris's encounters with [[Fiona]], which had occurred under similar circumstances. One of the people who spotted Flutter with Chris claimed that she wasn't "noticeably" handicapped.
*It is claimed that Flutter frequented several Finnish image boards, though the identity of this poster hasn't been disclosed.
*It was once written on Flutter's page by the ween [[Xela]] that when she wore a facemask and sunglasses both to the airport and at a convention, she did this as a means to avoid attention from weens. Several other similar rumors about Flutter's face being obscured in photos would soon follow, with some even accusing those who took photos of her and Chris of being in cahoots with people like [[Caden Peck]].<ref group=note>There are a few photos of Flutter that do show her face, such as the image used in her infobox, so this is demonstrably false.</ref> Once again, while it is not entirely impossible that Flutter is trying to conceal her identity, almost all signs of this are circumstantial at best.
*Also on Flutter's page, it was written that there was a possibility that Flutter showed reciprocity for Chris when he allegedly "hugged" her at a CVS, stating that her body language "didn't indicate" reciprocity,<ref group = note>Specifically wording it like this not only assumes that it is known for a fact that Chris did advance on her, but also implies that because it hasn't been disproven, one could assume she expressed feelings back towards him.</ref> though this was based on a very blurry photo of them where not all of the details can be made out. This means it would be impossible to make out either of their body languages. While the person who took the photos had claimed that Flutter was uncomfortable with Chris's supposed advances, their claims have yet to be fully verified.
*Xela also knowingly spread a rumor that Chris and Flutter were going to have a baby some time in the summer of 2025 for the sole purpose of stirring up drama. He based this rumor on a misheard clip of a livestream. This rumor got promoted by several sources, including Null himself, so much so that it even made it onto tabloid media such as the ''Daily Mail''. In actuality, Chris had never discussed any such plans of having a child with Flutter, and was in fact speaking hypothetically of such a scenario.
*Flutter's first name is rumored to be "Auli" (an uncommon, old-fashioned Finnish woman's name) on the basis of a alleged call<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92TwU2gNZVA</ref> between a financial [[enabler]] and Chris posted to YouTube on 12 June 2025. In the call, the enabler tries to get Chris's guard down by asking him questions about [[Transformers|Autobots]] and [[Count Graduon]] before abruptly asking "Does Eileen know about this?", causing Chris to respond "Her name is Auli". Some have argued that the call was created using AI voice simulation tools or is otherwise inauthentic. Even if the call is authentic, it hasn't been confirmed that "Auli" is the correct spelling of the name.
*It has been speculated that there is a possibility that Flutter has Turner Syndrome. Her unusually short height, her round-shaped chin, and (if the account is true) high pitched anime-esque voice are all common symptoms of Turner Syndrome. However, it has not been confirmed, and is only verifiable through professional diagnosis. (If she does have Turner syndrome, she is unable to get pregnant, so Chris's dreams of siring a daughter named Crystal are shattered.)

==[[Gal pal]]==
*It is often asserted that Chris's high school "[[gal pal]]s" were paid by [[Bob]] to hang out with him during school hours and look out for him. Conversations between trolls and the former "friends" indicate that they had some kind of informal arrangement with Bob and the school principal, but there is no indication that they were ever paid for their services. When Chris was in middle school, however, Bob did pay a girl named Natasha to walk with him to and from the bus stop, with Chris handing her the money himself.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Natasha]]</ref>
*Chris himself now believes that his supposed friends were paid to hang out with him, causing him to disparage them as "hired help". This is based on a conversation he had with a troll who was posing as one of the friends in question. After he was told they had been paid, he asked [[Barbara]] if that was true and she told him it was. However, it is likely that Barb was never familiar with the details of the arrangement and may have had them confused with Natasha.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Thetan)#Gal Pals]]</ref>
*People sometimes cite fake quotes from the troll [[Thetan]], who impersonated Chris' High School gal-pals, as evidence for them supposedly loathing Chris or regretting their friendships with him. It is also entirely unlikely that these gal-pals would have expressed any feelings about Chris' online presence, as they have long since moved on with their lives and have families.

==[[GiBi]]==
[[File:GiBi discusses Bella and the Suitress screenshot.png|thumb|200px|GiBi neglected to redact one of the phone numbers when showing screenshots (under red censor bar; screenshot was uncensored in his video). The number allegedly belonged to Fiona. This was the basis for much speculation.]]

GiBi, a semi-popular Christuber made a daily series regarding the [[Affair with Mother|Incest Saga]] of Christory. He consulted several conflicting sources for information regarding the act, one of which was Bella. Bella tried to convince him that she wasn't "Kelly Osborn", which GiBi argued for.

Bella also took screenshots of her DMs with Fiona and Chris and gave them to GiBi to leak. The screenshots included header information on names and phone numbers for both. When making a video on the screenshots, GiBi attempted to crop out the header information - while he succeeded at most, he neglected to crop two instances, leaving Fiona's phone number briefly visible. When told of this by Kiwi Farms users, GiBi promptly deleted the video and redid it to censor one instance, but failed to catch the other. When informed again, he again deleted the video. GiBi later posted the screenshots onto Kiwi Farms where he applied censorship to Fiona's phone number (and not Chris's).

*Before the uploading of the infamous video by him where he leaks Fiona's phone number, GiBi would mention on the Kiwi Farms about getting information on the leaks from a "friend" of his, alongside Bella. The "friend" that GiBi was talking to was presumed to be [[The WCT]]. In actuality, the friend was a CCCC user that went under the username "LavenderBonez" on that server, who seemed to be supportive of Fiona leaking a chunk of the incest call, even going as far as calling her a "hero".<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#CCCC Incest Call Leak]]</ref>
*In its earliest form, [[GiBi]] had a section of the [[Orbiter Wave]] page, which initially covered people that were prominent during the [[Affair with Mother|Incest Saga]]. In it, his leaking of Fiona's number was characterized as intentional from being prompted by Bella's disinformation. The section originally stated that ''Immediately accepting Bella's story that the entire scandal was the fault of Fiona, he then leaked Fiona's phone number in one of his videos for thousands to see.'' It appears to be speculation that there was a link between the phone number leak and Bella's story. The section was also revised to clarify that the leak was in the form of screenshots of text messages between Bella and Fiona in which a phone number was not redacted.


==[[Honor Roll]]==
*Whether Chris made the Honor Roll, or exactly what such a feat entailed around the time of his graduation, is unknown.

==[[Incest Call]]==
A key aspect regarding the drama that followed from Chris's affair had primarily come from how clips of this call had been leaked. So far, only four clips of varying lengths of this call had ever been leaked, all with various amounts of context. Because of this, many unproven claims regarding the people involved in the [[Incest]], [[Watchmen]], and [[Lainchu]] sagas have been heavily propagated.

*The date of the Call is unclear, which in turn has lead to gossip on what [[Bella]] wanted to do with the call. Evidence points to either 27 July 2021 or 28 July 2021 as the call date, however much of the evidence was from Bella's screenshots, and she has a history of creating [[Fabricated BDSM texts|fabricated texts at least once.]]

==[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]==
Isabella Loretta Janke is most known for a call which Chris initiated with her to describe incestuous acts he had performed with his mother. Before this, Bella had been in touch with Chris for almost a year, acting nice around him, while behind his back showing many instances of A-logging or wishing harm towards him in Discord chats, sometimes outright claiming to want to make him harm himself. She would also roleplay as prior [[gal pal]]s like Kellie Andes and an employee for the Curiosity Stream, and has been known to encourage the verbal harassment and bullying of other students at her university. This behavior would lead to many instances of misinformation or unproven claims resulting from the chaos around the [[Incest Call]], gossip on [[Kiwi Farms]], much of which was perpetuated by user [[Spooky Bones]], being taken at face value, and Bella's alleged plots towards Chris.
*It is often stated that Bella had convinced Chris to commit incest on his mother. In actuality, Chris had decided on his own to commit incest a month prior to telling Bella about it, and he later picked Bella to brag to about it.
*It was initially written that Bella had a suicide plot towards Chris dating back to 25 April 2020. This was based on a Discord user, ZorgothTDK, who alleged that DMs between him and Bella, in which a Deleted User states "That's what we're trying to do with Chris [...] Get him be suicidal [...] Bc he's retarded", were Bella discussing Chris Chan. However, Bella knew of two other people named Chris - her cousin and another Discord user - making it unclear if she was referring to Chris Chan. Though ZorgothTDK claims that Bella was referring to Chris Chan, the full log of his conversation with the Deleted User makes no indication that Chris Chan was being discussed.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/bella-janke-allegedly-planning-cwc-suicide-since-april-2020.97773/</ref> In addition, communication between Bella and Chris Chan has not been established for the time frame of April 2020 - [[:File:Bella Twitter redrawn art.jpeg|the earliest known message from Bella to Chris Chan occurred in July 2020]].
*It was initially written that Bella had other plans to kill Chris. This was based on edgy A-logging comments she had made. In some, she said she wanted Praetor members to convince him to cut off his penis, and also hoping that he would die from a gender reassignment surgery accident.<ref name=animation>{{cite farms|thread=79414|post=8539683|title=YT 11/13/20 - Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation}}</ref> However, no proof has been found that Bella had been serious with her remarks. In another set of comments, Bella's friend Allen joked about there being a plan to suicide Chris and Bella played along.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Suicide Plan Claims]]</ref> No evidence has been found that either had been serious with their remarks. Allen also claimed that he and Bella had been joking.
*It was initially written that Bella had a blackmail plot involving the [[Incest Call]], in conjunction with another rumor that Bella wanted to record Chris having sex with Fiona. Both rumors are false and were created by gossipers misreading chatlogs.
*It was initially written that Bella self-assigned her bodyguard role for [[Everfree Northwest]], however Chris had assigned her the role.<ref>[[Bella chats#The Selected Few]]</ref>
*It is believed by some that Bella had an incest fetish. However, whether or not Bella was actually into incest is unclear. This in part seems to come from an incest fanfiction that she had allegedly created under the account '''narutoisgay77897''', which involves a father-son relationship between Naruto characters. However, the link between this account and Bella is unclear, and the account itself has "Im into engineering and electromagnetism and shit but u wont find any of that shit here, only gay hentai bitches." as its description, suggesting that it could be a troll account, if created by her. The account therefore cannot be used to prove this, as its legitimacy is questionable.
*It was once written on the [[Discord]] page that Bella was a member of the [[Discord#Official CWCki Server|Official CWCki Server]] before the call. This was loosely based off a former policy on the server where mentioning or talking about her was prohibited. Moderators had temporarily enacted it due to receiving a report on harassment from Discord and thought the report had been filed by Bella.

==[[Jail Saga]]==
* Chris went to jail, not prison, for the [[incest]] charge. While many people casually use the terms interchangeably, American English distinguishes them. A jail generally serves a county or region of a state, and it houses people awaiting their sentences, misdemeanants, and some non-violent felons. A prison is generally either operated by the state or a contractor, and it houses people with longer or more severe sentences.
** These institutions also have different cultures: inmates in jail have the opportunity to work in the kitchen, laundry room, or other maintenance roles, typically rewarded to only the best behaved inmates, and often something that they want to do to pass the time and earn a little money (or enjoy " trusty" status). In prisons in many states, however, work is an expectation, and the prison may be attached to a factory, farm, or call center.
* 2021's [[Affair with Mother]] was far from the first time Chris has ever been arrested or spent time in custody.
* Chris has never attempted to escape from prison.
* Chris's case was dismissed, but not for confirmed innocence; Chris was given [[Autism disorder deferred disposition]].
* Chris was not charged with rape.
* Chris appears to have had a felony charge for the duration of legal proceedings until the deferred disposition led to it being dropped. It was speculated that Chris's case was a misdemeanor at one point but there is no proof of this, and in fact, court procedures and reporting from ''Daily Progress'' are consistent with a felony charge throughout.

==[[Jeff Ouzuo]]==
*Jeff/Francine did not create the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' fangame. It was the CWCki Forums user Maple. Because of Chris declaring this, several people came to believe that Jeff/Francine was Maple.



==[[Lainchu]]==
*The Lainchu character wasn't a troll persona. The character itself was created by Chris as a coping mechanism for the purpose of explaining certain events in his life. Chris entrusted the Watchmen to control Lainchu so that he could be "chronicled" properly. The Watchmen later used the persona with the intention of documenting select chats with his permission, and later for observers to ask him questions by proxy when he got banned from the CWCki Discord server.
*It was once written on [[The WCT]]'s page that he was the primary Lainchu, though this was incorrect. He had attempted to steal the role from [[Anaxis]] but Chris rejected the attempt.

==[[Liquid Chris]]==

*It is often stated that Liquid Chris was a single person. In actuality, Liquid was played by a set of twins, Christopher and Jon Duckworth. While Christopher played as Chris in Youtube videos and PVCC chats, Jon played Liquid during the Sing-Star Challenge.
*While [[The Miscreants]] (group of trolls including the one behind Clyde Cash) would claim Liquid Chris, the brothers and girlfriend behind Liquid Chris and Kacey alike appear to have started their trolling independently, after Christopher Duckworth began comically impersonating Chris Chan.
*Liquid Chris started impersonating Chris a month before the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, and was barely influenced by this video.

==[[Megan Schroeder]]==
*It is often stated that Chris ruined his friendship with her by posting [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]] on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In reality, their friendship had already been long deteriorating at that point; [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|email correspondences]] from that period show that Megan was already getting sick of Chris's creepy behavior and [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] have stated that Megan was already avoiding Chris before the photo was posted online. SheCameForCWC.jpg was just the point where things came to such a head that Megan was forced to cut off all contact with Chris.
*It later surfaced that Chris did not shred the physical copy of SheCameForCWC.jpg before placing it in the [[Crumple-Lope]], but neatly cut it into squares.
*It is often stated that Megan was the only legitimate female friend that Chris had that wasn't a troll. While Megan is the most well-known one, this is ignoring people in Chris's life like [[Anna McLerran]], [[The Wallflower]], [[Fiona Cooper]], the [[Pokémon League friends]], [[Tings Tingz]], [[MKRNightVee]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], [[Midnight Moonflower]], and [[Flutter]].

==[[Monthly Tugboat]]==
*It was previously written on the page that Chris would earn more money overall if he got an actual job and didn't rely solely on the tugboat. This however was built off of a number of assumptions and speculative information.
*Bob did not actually believe that Chris would make more money off of the Tugboat, and actually was hoping that Chris would find actual employment, expressing being impressed at Chris's computer literacy and him obtaining two CADD degrees.<ref>[[Bob Call 6]]</ref>

==[[Niggos]]==
*Chris had never said the word "nigger" outside of troll interference. He also never said the phrase "no darkies". This came from a piece of fan art parodying his [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

==[[Null]]==
*Null is often attributed for being the one to stop the [[Idea Guys]], thus ending their saga. However, this was actually achieved by [[The Captain]].

==[[OfficialCWCmart]]==
*It is often said that Chris only makes 7% off of the sales from OfficialCWCMart. However, this estimate conflates his royalty from the Praetor-made medallions with the stuff that he makes himself. It is currently unknown how much of the content sold on the Etsy was from Chris collaborating with Praetor.

==[[Pedofork]]==
*Although not impossible, all evidence of Chris being a pedophile so far comes from untrustworthy sources or instances where trolls pressured him into saying such things, so it is unwise to assume so.

==[[Praetor]]==
*[[Larry Vaughn]]'s claims about Praetor were once written on their article. However, he based these claims off of things that were said verbatim by [[Bella]], a known habitual liar who has on several occasions lied about her own associates. A few such claims include:
**Praetor were a group of trolls akin to the [[Idea Guys]] or the [[Teen Troon Squad]]
**They produced a lot of their merchandise in a "nasty basement".
**Larry's plan to send Chris to Florida was approved by Caden.
**Chris roleplayed as Sonichu at all times.
**Chris was still going after his high school gal-pals to the point of people needing to change their profiles.
**Chris was tazing himself out of fear that the Dimensional Merge wasn't going to happen.
*It is often stated that [[Bella]] was a member of Praetor due to the fact that she was commissioned by them to create an animation, and the fact that Larry Vaughn cited her as such. Despite this, Bella was never involved in any of their other projects.

==[[Rocky Shoemaker]]==
*It was once written on Rocky's article that she had used BlueSky, and that Chris had blocked her account. In actuality this was an imposter account that was created with the intent on trolling Chris.

==[[Sylvana Rosechu]]==
*It is often mistakenly believed that Sylvana always had a penis. In reality, she started out as a female Rosechu, but Chris introduced the lore of being made intersex in [[Sonichu 8]], where she had the ability to give herself a penis or a vagina at will, as a component of her ability to shapeshift. This was a condition from Count Graduon that she lose her ability to give birth. Similar to Rosechu, however, Silvana was often portrayed with a penis by trolls to exploit Chris's distaste for [[Hermaphrodite|hermaphrodites]].
*It is sometimes stated that Sylvana Rosechu was created to represent all of the instances that Chris was catfished by trolls, with a scene in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris is "trolled" by being seduced by her disguised as [[Meg Griffin]], often being brought up as evidence for this. However, Chris has also stated that his intention for that scene was that Sylvana was "all female" when she seduced him. Some of Chris's interactions with trolls also seem to indicate that Sylvana's ability was a result of troll influence. Chris has stated that he prefers to have fans draw her with a vagina instead of a penis, and the infamous drawing of her masturbating was a commission from [[Sarah May]], who bribed Chris to make the drawing and similar drawings to get his website back.

==[[Taser]]==
*It is believed by some that Praetor wanted to get Chris to tase himself. In actuality, Chris had discussed plans with Watchmen members [[Naught]] and [[Kyle]] about plans to shock his [[Gate Crystal]] and [[Celestial Key]] quartz crystals in order to open up a portal to another dimension, citing a Gaia article about ancient civilizations using piezoelectricity to open up portals. Chris wanted to borrow a taser from Praetor to tase the crystals. Praetor was initially willing to allow him to use it under their supervision. The rumor that they wanted to get him to tase himself was first started by the Watchmen leader [[Naught]], who had posted out-of-context clips of Watchmen members talking to the founder and leader of Praetor, [[Caden Peck]], and alleging that "Caden and cwc as Sonichu prime discuss the tazer and who will be tazed". Naught had also left out a clip where the Watchman Val Valentino brought up the subject, and is asking if Chris would tase himself, and Caden Peck discussing how he felt it would be a bad idea. Interestingly, [[Isabella Janke]], a minor member of Praetor, had also spread a rumor that she had tried convincing Praetor members to get Chris to harm himself by getting him to cut his penis off, while claiming she was only "recruited".

==[[The Wallflower]]==
*The Wallflower policy appears sometimes to get conflated with the Suitress policy, where it is often stated that Fiona asked for people to censor her. In actuality, Fiona never made such requests to anyone.
*The Wallflower policy wasn't set up out of "respect" for the Wallflower, as the CWCki has no obligation to protect people arbitrarily; it was done as a personal request from her to CWCki admins after editors shared information about her that wasn't relevant to Chris; in addition to Chris persistently stating he was in a relationship with her; due to her unintentionally being associated with him. Additionally, the policy is primarily enforced solely on the CWCki and its Discord server.
*Contrary to popular belief, the Wallflower policy did allow users to utilize the Wallflower's identity to some degree, particularly if omitting such information might affect the clarity of information surrounding Chris. Many transcripts that didn't reference Chris being in a "relationship" with her were transcribed faithfully, utilizing her first name, and several pages on this wiki also still use art and images that utilize her face. The page [[CWCki:The Wallflower|meant to explain the Wallflower policy]] also admits that attempting to censor the Wallflower in full is not only impossible, but even detrimental to documenting Chris.
*Chris never referred to the Wallflower as "Lovely Weather". This misconception was a result of people assuming the [[Lovely Weather|character of the same name]] from the comics was based on the Wallflower. However, Chris has denied any connection between them.

==[[The WCT]]==

One of the primary members of the [[Watchmen]].

*It was initially written that The WCT wanted Chris to kill himself. This originated from a rumor spread by [[MKRNightVee]], his former associate in the Watchmen Discord server [[The Place]]. In June 2021, the [[Watchmen]] clique was infighting over [[Naught]] posting The WCT's dox onto Kiwi Farms. WCT responded by informing Chris, who left The Place. Angry over this development, MKR took to Twitter to spread a rumor that WCT "probably wants Chris to kill himself".<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410103600932548609 (archive: https://archive.md/UKGom)</ref> A month later, the rumor was further spurred by Kiwi Farms forum posters, who assumed from both MKR's rumor and WCT's interactions with Bella (who had claimed on at least two occasions to want to get Chris to harm himself or commit suicide) that WCT was in on Bella's supposed plots. Despite this, no evidence has surfaced that WCT knew of Bella's claimed plots.
*It was initially written in a few articles that Chris had directly contributed to the mass doxing of Fiona by sharing one of her pictures with the WCT. Chris, although posting her photograph to him, would also refer to her by her pen name, "Fifi Vixenhart". The WCT wouldn't have become aware of her real name, or actually dox her, until later, when Bella had told him in the [[Regarding Chris]] chats that Fiona was the sole provider of fabricated texts where Chris states he's done BDSM on Barb while she was doxing her on multiple websites. The WCT would post one of Fiona's videos and use her first name, partially revealing her identity and bringing attention from trolls onto her.
*It was initially written that The WCT had been recruited into Bella's [[Chess Club]] Discord server. He had actually been invited into a separate server, [[Chess Group 15|chess group #15]]. This error was based on mislabeled folders of Discord server chatlogs which were passed around on Kiwi Farms - the folders were labelled "Chess Club" and "Chess Club ft Fiona and CWC", however the actual content was [[Chess Club]] and [[Chess Group 15|chess group #15]] chatlogs.
*The WCT is often misquoted as proclaiming himself as being "the final protagonist of Christory", which was often used as evidence for knowing that Chris was going to commit suicide. In actuality, in his boasting, he proclaimed himself as "'''one of the final''' protagonists", proclaiming that his work will be held in high regard in Geno's documentary, and be compared to figures such as [[Null]]. Additionally, he said this in reference to the Watchmen's belief that Barb's death would be the end of Christory, a belief that WCT had held strongly.
**Likewise, it was also believed that when he titled his pre-jail interview with Chris as the "Final Pre-Jail interview", he also meant this as knowing Chris was going to commit suicide, ignoring the fact that this was indeed the last interview he had with Chris before he went to jail.

==[[Transgender]]==

Chris' shift in gender identity and subsequent identification as a lesbian/bisexual transwoman has been a subject of intense debate and scrutiny within and outside of LGBT+ circles, with some believing that it is yet another act designed to enable him to shack up with lesbian women, and still others claiming that Chris openly admitted that this was the case. While the possibility of the former cannot be entirely discounted, no known admission of this nature has ever been made by Chris personally, and none of the assorted chat logs and correspondences leaked since Chris began his transition suggest this either.
*It is often stated that Chris admitted to adopting a [[transgender]] identity solely so that he could hook up with lesbians. This appears to be a confusion for an answer that Chris had posted to a question on [[OkCupid]], where he states that if he were to raise a "[[hermaphrodite]]", a term which he has used to refer to trans women, he'd raise them as a male so that they can pick up women (including lesbians).<ref group = note>The exact thing that Chris said, when answering whether or not intersex children should get surgery , was: "If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine)."</ref>
*Many suggest that "Christine" is a fake name. It is in fact his legal first name as of 2016. The CWCki, however, still uses "Chris" and (to a lesser extent) "Christian" for consistency.
*While Chris has shown early signs of dysphoria, going far back to his times at [[Manchester High]], these shouldn't be taken as a singular cause for it.

==[[Trolls]]==
*Some of Chris's trolls, particularly most of the Miscreants, are often represented as figures that tried to "help" Chris. It should be noted that any mention they make of this is mostly tongue-in-cheek, as their primary goal was that of any other [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] troll, to get a rise out of Chris.

==[[Watchmen]]==

*The Watchmen are often misleadingly referred to as an organization of enablers. In reality, the "Watchmen" were a clique of Chris's most prominent enablers and white knights, who had used several different Discord servers. The name "Watchmen" was created directly after some its members were discovered, and connected to previous groups such as [[Son of the Miscreants]] and [[Arbitarch CWC Alliance]], as a sort of allusion to [[the Miscreants]]. The WCT, with the intent of cutting ties with the others in the "Watchmen", also dropped the name entirely when he established the Knights of CWC, which had a similar set-up, but a fundamentally different philosophy when handling Chris orbiters.

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

{{Newbie}}
{{Jump}}

Template:Did you know

2026-07-17T21:01:27Z

FullNameUnknown: Added Group 21 for no real reason. I'm not actually an Alabama fan.

{{#switch: {{{1|{{#expr:{{#time:s}} mod 19}}}}}
|0=
*... that [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|Chris had unintentionally rickrolled the internet with his song for]] [[PandaHalo]]?
*... that [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|this webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL]]?
*... that Chris got [[Polyamorous marriage|married]]... [[Magi-Chan|to]] [[Cryzel Rosechu|five]] [[Mewtwo|of]] [[Sylvana|his]] [[imaginary friends]] [[Helena Fiorenza#Pickchu|and an enabler-made OC]]?
*... that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*... that a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*... that [[Misc E-mails#Uri Geller Emails|Uri Geller]], a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training?
*... that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself]]?
*... that Chris once attended a [[Chris and mental healthcare#Relationship Management Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] wanted Chris to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
**... and that Chris was working on it!?
*... that Chris did not discover [[Mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
|1=
*... that Chris has performed [[Dick Licker; that is I|oral sex on Magi-Chan]]?
*... that [[BlueSpike]] was the [[weens|ween]] in the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4mkAw9Be-k JULAAAAAAAY call]?
*... that [[JenkinsJinkies]] is definitely '''NOT''' Chris?
*... that Chris was no longer [[So Need a Cute Girl|stuck as a]] [[virgin with rage]] after [[Mia Hamm|hiring a prostitute]]?
*... that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*... that Chris has committed [[28 October 2011|assault and battery]] against [[Michael Snyder]] and [[26 December 2014|illegally pepper sprayed]] the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]?
*... that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
*... that Chris attempted to fix [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]], and somehow made it make less sense?
*... that <s>[[Chris]]</s> <s>[[BILLY MAYS]]</s> <s>[[Allison Amber]]</s> <s>[[Brendan Fraser]]</s> <s>[[Mary Lee Walsh]]</s> [[January_2026_social_media_posts#Mayor_of_CWCville|Robbie Van Drawson]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*... that the [[Idea Guys]] [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] Chris into believing that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|his imaginary daughter Crystal]] would be brought into the world by [[:File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|Chris anally raping Sonichu]]?
**... and that Chris has once fisted Sonichu as a punishment?
*... that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#Edit details|blood, tears and semenal descent?]]
|2=
*... that Chris was accused by [[trolls]] of killing [[BILLY MAYS]] because he took Chris' spot as Mayor of CWCville?
*... that the [[Dimensional Merge]] will bring fictional characters and [[imaginary friends]] into reality?
**... and that the new [[dimension]] will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197?
*... that Chris is [[JenkinsJinkies|as wild as a serial raper]]?
**... and that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story?
**... and that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll?
*... that the [[trolls]] may have [[2012 Poster campaign|hired a skywriter]]?
*... that Chris believes that [[CWCville]] is real?
*... that Chris, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|in his own words]], buys "[[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*... that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon 2018#Nowacking rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
|3=
*... that Chris can put his [[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|energy into crystals]] and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
*... that Chris believes that ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}'' is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|an accurate depiction]] of [[Chris and reality|reality]]?
**... and that in the days before [[Meditation#Astral projection|Astral projection]], a dance mat in his room was [[CWCville#Geography and location|one way]] to reach CWCville?
*... that Chris’s [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|dance partner]] in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend?
*... that Chris’s investment strategy is to [[Chris and money#Lottery|stake $8 on the lottery]] every week?
*... that despite initially despising it, ''[[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]]'' is ranked #2 in Chris's [[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Top Movies List|Top Movies List on Facebook]]?
*... that Chris once had a strong disdain for the ''[[Harry Potter]]'' franchise [[Chris and brand loyalty|due to a perceived rivalry with]] the ''[[Pokémon]]'' franchise?
*... that Chris believes that [[The Simpsons|Lisa Simpson]] will be the President of the United States after the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
**... and that [[November 2020 social media posts#.23LisaSimpson2020|Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election]], despite endorsing [[Joe Biden]] to take over the Presidency after [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]?
*... that [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]], even though Chris now identifies as [[transgender]] and isn't actively growing facial hair?
|4=
*... that Chris spent a lot of time in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], in spite of a traumatic experience with [[Abusive babysitter|a babysitter locking him in there]]?
*... that YouTuber [[Geno Samuel]] has [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|a documentary series on Chris]] that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
**... and that Chris [[Geno Samuel DMs|has DMed him]] after seeing the series?
*... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to [[My Little Pony Protests|cancel a ''My Little Pony'' reboot]] because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
*... that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*... that Chris recycled his own [[semen]] by drinking it?
**... and that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
**... and that Chris [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|mixed semen with Fanta]]?
*... that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*... that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris called his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]] a bunch of pack rats?
*... that Chris has said [[Niggos]] only once, but has used [[Chris and race|the actual N-word]] multiple times?
**... That Chris was under the influence of [[trolls]] when he said those words?
* ... that Chris’s father's idea of kids games is [[Prank calls#Epic Crazy Lady calls Bob|Playing With Gutter Rats]] In the Sewer?
|5=
*... that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*... that Chris [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|stuck anal beads up his asshole]] but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit?
*... that you should [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|believe in the OCs]]?
*... that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Bundychu]]?
**... and that [[Bundychu]] is friends with [[Bob Chandler]]?
*... that despite being the [[Chris and his ego|so-called]] [[CPU]] of the Commodore systems, Chris [[naive|doesn't know]] how to turn a [[Commodore 64]] on?
*... that Chris stuck his [[duck]] in some [[Cwcsicle|snow]]?
*... that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]?
*... that [[Alec Benson Leary]] imprisoned four [[Rosechu]]s in his [[Asperchu parodies#Basement Rosechus|basement]]?
*... that Chris drove [[Clyde Cash#Ryan|Ryan Cash]] to [[Chris and death#Suicide|suicide]] when he temporarily cancelled ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''?
*... that Chris has been to [[Finland]] on at least seven separate occasions?
**... and that Chris [[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25|denies ever going to the country, despite photographic evidence]]?
|6=
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]?
*... that [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]?
*... that [[A-Logging|A-Log]] is Chris-Chan 2.0?
**... and that [[Michael J. Hirtes]] is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)?
*... that Chris went to [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a gay bar]] on a few occasions?
*... that the [[United States of America|American]] government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit around the house doing little to nothing?
*... that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|MLPG5 doesn't exist]] and G4 needs 5 more seasons?
*... that Chris [[Autism Awareness E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
*... that Chris [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|reinterpreted]] one of [[Lovely Weather|his characters]] when he believed that she had taken the form of [[Jessica Quinn|his newest sweetheart]]?
*... that Chris believed he cured his [[autism]] by listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]] [[Kacey Call 11|has a nine inch]] [[Pickle|penis]]?
*... that Chris [[March 2024 social media posts#Bitches and Barbussy|needs no bitches]]?
|7=
*... that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*... that Chris believes he has [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|over a billion people]] in his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]?
*... that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*... that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*... that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*... that Chris is a [[Chris and stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the Law|imprisoned]] in lulz?
*... that Chris told [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] about his [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|masturbation]], but [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was not as open minded on the subject?
*... that Chris [[Self-inflicted taint wound|slashed his taint]] open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt?
*... that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*... that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the pickle man]] [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|tricked Chris again]]?
*... that {{w|Andrew and James Dall Houses|the house in Cleveland}} that [[Ohio trip|Chris was tricked into visiting]] is listed on the National Register of Historic Places?
*... that #RussiaIsMLPG5; the fact that you acknowledge it puts a notch in the [[Russia|Soviet's belt]], which is not good?
|8=
*... that Chris considers the "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*... that Chris describes World War II as [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"]]?
*... that Chris's [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe DNA results]] indicate that he has no [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, but is 1.3% [[Super Mario Bros.|Italian]]?
*... that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do a single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*... that Chris [[Power|once knew a man from Nantucket]]?
*... that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*... that Chris is the [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris the Card Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*... that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
**... and that Chris [[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind|believed it too]]?
*... that Chris no longer lives at [[14 Branchland Court]] and instead lives in [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA#Big Island|the house]] owned by [[Caden Peck]]?
|9=
*... that Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|voided himself in terror in his sleep]] when he thought that [[Clyde Cash]] [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|was trying to kill him]]?
*... that [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes]]?
*... that Chris thinks you're "[[10 September 2009|trolling stupid]]"?
*... that Chris once [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|visited an abandoned sanatorium]] to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a [[Weening|ween]] mere hours later?
*... that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
**... and that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Stephanie Bustcakes|female prostitute]]?
*... that Chris thinks that those with [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true [[Autism|autistic]] people?
*... that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*... that Chris [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|once said that ''Pain'' is a fun game]], despite having no trophies for it on PSN?
*... that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*... that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call#Transcript|Vivian's gonna rape Jack with the strapon because she's crazy?]]
|10=
*... that Chris hates the word "[[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
**... and that Chris has no idea what [[Naïve]] actually means?
*... that [[Bryan Bash]] sent [[Hooker incident|a handful of hookers to Chris' house]]?
*... that [[Jerkhief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*... that Chris loves [[McDonald's]], while his [[dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*... that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", [[Christopher's name change|until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"]]?
**... and that his [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]] name is Ricardo?
**... and that his legal name is now [[Transgender|Christine]]?
*... that the [[Chris's Big Night Out#Grip 'n' Sip|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[Krapple|/cow/]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] was real?
*... that [[Flutter]]'s name [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|shall not be revealed]]?
|11=
*... that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
**... and that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*... that [[Brushfire Video|a male idiot tried to put out a fire]] while Chris just stood there and watched?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]]'s real name is [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]?
**... and that Solid Chris's name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]?
*... that [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"?
*... that the ''[[Saw]]'' movies are some of [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's favorite movies]]?
*... that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of [[Chris's birthday|age]], [[race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Chris and money|socio-economic]] [[Financhu Crisis|situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler]] helped host the [[WTJU Marathon]] back in [[1990s#1990|1990]]?
*... that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent]]?
*... that [[OfficialCWCmart|Chris]] sells [[14 Branchland Court|driveway gravel]] for $15 a bag?
**... and that [[Ween|people]] actually buy it?
|12=
*... that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*... that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his [[Bob Chandler|father]] was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu the Animated Series|animated series]]?
*... that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*... that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''[[Seinfeld]]''?
*... that Chris originally was a [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#College Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at random) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
**... and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
*... that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the Witch]] isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
*... that Chris actually [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] Sonichu?
*... that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
**... and that he's overdue for it [[Son-Chu#Chevrolet Aveo|even in his newest car]]?
|13=
*... that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[Tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
**... and that [[Weed|weed]] is an instant life sentence in maximum security prison?
*... that Chris [[Imaginary friends|had a conversation with]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] while in a meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?
**... and that Chris fired a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at Walsh [[Jackie Chat 5|in the same meeting]]?
**... and that this incident is what got him suspended from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]?
*... that Chris insulted a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|mentally disabled]] fan?
*... that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
**... and that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*... that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eat pancakes instead of attending his [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral the same day?
*... that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
**... and that Chris also believes [[Daniel Weston|one of his ancestors]] sailed aboard the ''Mayflower''?
*... that [[Keffals]] is an enabler of Chris at least since the [[Second Coming]]?

|14=
*... that Chris and [[Jacob Sockness]] aren't dating... yet?
*... that Chris believes that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC (27 December 2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*... that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|real]]?
*... that Chris attempted to [[dox]] multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*... that Chris has dreamed about [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having sex with his mom]]?
**... and that Chris [[Affair with Mother|has been charged with having sex with his mom]]?
**... and Chris got those charges dismissed?
*... that Chris believes if ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, [[Akan]] will [[My Little Pony Protests|invade Equestria]] and eventually [[1218|our own universe]]?
**... and that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|G5]] has caused World War III?
*... that [[Barb]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*... that Chris [[McIntire Park|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*... that Chris is practically blacklisted from being mentioned on [[Wikipedia]]?
|15=
*... that even now, Chris does not think he is [[Obesity|fat]]?
*... that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*... that Chris loves to give [[CWC Blog#29 November 2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|a real date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
**... and that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dreams]]?
*... that Chris [[Chris lost Crystal|recorded himself screaming at a toilet]]?
*... that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*... that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*... that [[June 2015|Sega knows]] about [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's attempts]] to [[Keep Sonic Original|change Sonic's]] [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|arms back]]?
*... that Chris rates jail [[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)| a 2/5]]?
|16=
*... that [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]]?
**... and that [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]] serves as the spiritual successor to that band?
**... and that [[July 2021 social media posts#Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps concert|Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps]] is another spiritual successor to that band?
*... that Chris [[Homos|used to be a massive Homophobe]]?
**... and that Chris is now a proud member of the [[SLGBTQ]] community?
*... that Chris is a fan of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCO1ITICo8MLHGAXR1uzFwjA OneyPlays], and [[OneyPlays Twitter Voice Clip|was amused by their impersonation of him]]?
*... that Chris spent nearly an entire year of his life [[Spirit possession|pretending to be possessed]] by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] got Chris to watch ''[[Anime#The End of Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]''?
*... that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Gal pal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*... that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[Boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*... that [[BABSCon]] staff framed and displayed Chris's futile attempts for them to allow Chris to attend the event?
|17=
*... that Chris got tricked into [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|making a shout-out video]] dedicated to {{w|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|the Columbine shooters}}?
*... that ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' rocks?
*... that Chris was featured on {{w|Fox News}}?
*... that Chris completed a commission tied to the [[:File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|Sneed's Feed and Seed]] joke from [[The Simpsons]]?
*... that [[CWCville]] is pronounced as "quick-ville"?
*... that Chris believes that lolcow and spree killer [[Randy Stair]] (AKA [[November 2020 social media posts#Dimensional merge stuff|Andrew]] [[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Has Randy Stair gotten more popular since his death?|Blaze]]) was aware of the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] made a cameo in a {{w|Dodie (singer)|dodie}} music video?
*... that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music]]?
*... that Chris reenacted [[CopperCab]]'s [[Re-enactment - Gingers Have Souls|Gingers have Souls]] video?
*... that Chris [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|punched multiple holes in his wall]] to try to break through the [[Iron Curtain]]?
|18=
*... that the [[trolls]] behind the [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Kacey]] personas actually got married to each other in real life?
*... that Chris thinks that obscure box office flop ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'' is one of the greatest animated movies ever made?
*... that the [[My Little Pony|brony convention]] [[Everfree Northwest]] banned Chris after learning that [[Affair with Mother|he banged]] [[Barbara Chandler|his own mom]]?
**...and that [[BABSCon]] did the same thing in [[2024]] after Chris attempted to purchase tickets for the event?
*... that Chris has no idea what [[Autism]] really is?
*... that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck]], but never once in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]?
*... that when a Sonichu or Rosechu drives, they drive a [[Sonichu 11|Hybrid]]?
*... that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*... that Chris used a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] for the first time in nearly a decade [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|after breaking up with]] [[Jessica Quinn]]?
*... that someone hacked into Chris's [[YouTube]] account and uploaded excerpts of [[A-Logging|Anthony LoGatto's]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] video [[Jail Saga|while he was in jail]]?
*... that infamous lolcow [[Ethan Ralph]] [[Jail Saga#Arrest|caught Chris's arrest on a livestream]] just to spite his former friend [[Null]]?
*... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in [[Chris in the media#Smiling Friends|Smiling Friends]]?
|19=
*... that Chris [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|foresaw your letter long ago]]?
*... that Chris sends [[Holy Labels]] to people who send him letters to help them purify their drinks?
*... that Chris had an actual [[Fiona Cooper|True and Honest Sweetheart]] that got him arrested?
*... that Chris believes himself to be an incarnation of [[Chris and religion|Jesus of Nazareth]]?
*... that a group of trolls tried to [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|convert Chris to Islam]] in jail?
*... that Chris continues [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|his begging]] for hand-outs to [[debt|sustain the financial situation of 14BC]] even from behind bars?
**... and [[Barb]] hasn't gotten [[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021| a cent]]?
*... that the [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|Bible is ''The Simpsons'' and the Qur'an is ''Family Guy'']]?
*... that [[Son-Chu]] got totalled from Barb not giving right-of-way?
*... that Chris updated the Ten Commandments?
*... that Chris [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|implied the trolling was worse]] than being [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down by 5 teachers]] and [[Kick the autistic|having his screams recorded for their amusement]]?
|20=
*... that Chris [[November 2023 social media posts#Criticizing Kiwi Farms, "I am not a Lolcow"|denies being a lolcow]]?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] [[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022|is a reincarnation of Merlin the magician]]?
*... that Chris can [[Masturbation discussions|feel how sad and horny he is]] in his heart and solar plexus chakra?
*... that Chris [[Gruppenfuhrer Fegelein chat|admits]] [[Women's Rights]] didn't exist in [[CWCville]] until [[2017]]?
**... and that he blames it on the past Chris?
*... that Chris spent $6,267.09 on [[toys]] during the [[Financhu Crisis]], which [[Chris and money|could have paid off half the amount his creditors were suing him for]]?
*... that Chris's full name and description is [[Jail Letter - 4 January 2022|"Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and the nations of Old Comma and Cwcville, Guardian of the Sonichu & Rosechu Species, and Immortal avatar, Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all"]]?
*... that the [[COVID-19]] pandemic [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|was engineered]] by [[Jacob Sockness]]?
*... that [[Count Graduon]] is the embodiment of Chris's disappointment towards his high school graduation?
|21=
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob Chandler's]] ''alma mater'' is a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering from Auburn University? (roll tide)
*... that Chris once compared [[Father Call|carrying your dead friend on your back to safety to the struggle of moving furniture?]]
*... that [[Trolls|trolls]] once presented a script of a video [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking 9/11 in order to threaten Clyde Cash]] to Chris, and then Chris ''created and released it for them?''
*... that Chris's [[Chandler Family Tree|family tree]] includes six people that fought for the Confederate States of America during the American Civil War, and that among those six, one owned ''twenty-one slaves?''
*... that [[BILLY MAYS]] is absolutely [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS#IRC Transcript|PERPLEXED THAT YOU WOULD OFFER THAT INFORMATION?]]
*... [[Monthly tugboat|that the government lended Chris at least $1,300 each month from 2010 until (presumably) 2023?]]
*... that Chris sold at least 2,000 items from July 2025 to July 2026 on his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy shop]]?
*... that [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|the US and Japan really wanted to get it on]]?
*... that [[Praetor]] [[OfficialCWCmart#Handmade Sonichu Medallion, WITH MEGASTONE|is selling Sonichu Medallions for $110]]?
}}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided into blocks that get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try to ensure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time, pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*... that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.

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[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

Chandler Family Tree

2026-07-17T20:16:39Z

FullNameUnknown: /* Rufus Walker */

[[File:Chrisfamilytree.png|thumb|Chris' family tree up to his great-great-grandparents|600x600px]]
Chris's ideas about his ancestry and lineage unsurprisingly differ greatly from what is known to be true.

Family members who live(d) after Chris was born can be found at [[Minor Family Members]].

==What Chris Actually Believes==
This '''Chandler Family Tree''' includes pets and people [[Chris]] ''imagines'' to be related to him:

[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Ancient leader]] [[Anne Boleyn]],
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|of the]] [[Anne Boleyn|Queen of England]]──────Mary Boleyn
[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee Clan]] │
│ ???
│ │
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston,}}
│ {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|1st Earl of Portland}}
??? │
│ ???
│ │
│ [[Daniel Weston]]
│ │
Robert Jean ???
Franklin-----------Hollomon │
Chandler Sr. │ Chandler ├────────────────────────────────────┬─────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ │ │ │ │
Patricia [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] Jack Ran [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]] Harriett Tom [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Raymond]]
Chandler---------[[Bob Chandler|Franklin]]------------[[Barbara Chandler|Anne]]-----------Dale or Coleman [[Aunt Corrina|Weston]] Ashby-----Ashby [[Minor_Family_Members#Uncle_Raymond|Weston]]
│ [[Bob Chandler|Chandler Jr.]] │ [[Barbara Chandler|Weston]] │ Smithey Yeatts │
┌───────────┤ ┌─────┴─────┐ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[David Alan Chandler|David]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol]] [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] [[Chandler Cats|cats]] [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Jonathan]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Alan]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Suzanne]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Weston]] [[Cole Smithey|Smithey]] [[Minor_Family_Members#Jonathan_Carey|Carey]]
[[David Alan Chandler|Chandler]] [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Chandler]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chandler]]
│ │
│ ┌─────┴─────┬───────────┬───────────┬───────────┐
│ │ │ │ │ │
[[Savannah]] [[Patti Chandler|Patti]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]-----[[Rosechu]] [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]
[[Savannah|Chandler]] [[Patti Chandler|Chandler]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Weston]] │ [[Reginald Chandler|Chandler]]
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chandler]] │
┌─────┴─────┬───────────┐
│ │ │
[[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Cerah]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Christine]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robbie]]

==Poké Family Tree==

[[Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]
[[Image:456-FamilyTreeAndCar.JPG|thumb|Poké Family Tree]]

Chris naturally drew his family tree in the form of [[Pokémon]]. He gives pilgrim hats to those on the Weston side and feathered headdresses to those on the Chandler side, both in reference to the extremely [[Daniel Weston|dubious]] [[Cherokian Clan|tales]] of Chris's heritage.

Below is a transcription with the format ''Name / Date of Birth / Description / Culture and Pokemon''.

; Top row

* [[Cole Smithey]] / born 7.24.1969 / Likes to play drums. Movie reviewer for New York Newspaper / English Pilgrim Electabuzz
* [[Chris|Christian W. Chandler]] / born 2.24.82 / Likes [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic]], and [Mario?]. 12th Grade student at [[Manchester High]] / Pikachu with Both Pilgrim and [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] garb.
* [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|Carol Chandler]] / born 7.7.64 in [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] / Math wiz at college. / Native American Wigglytuff
* [[David Alan Chandler|Allen Chandler]] [sic] / born 11.28.62 in Roanoke / ophthalmologist / Native American Alakazam

; Row 2

* [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriett Ashby]] / born ?.?.? / Administrative Assistant. Married to Tom Ashby / English Pilgrim Clefable
* [[Barbara|Barbara W. Chandler]] / born ?.?.? / ??? / English Pilgrim [[Pokémon#Snorlax|Nidoqueen]]
* [[Bob|Robert F. Chandler]] / born 2.9.1928 / Retired Engineer. Likes old music. / Native American Nidoking

; Row 3

* Carrie Edna Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Clefairy
* Joseph Otto Weston / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Haunter
* Jean Holloman Chandler / ? / ? / Native American Vulpix
* Robert F. Chandler Sr. / ? / ? / Native American Farfetch’d

; Row 4

* Victoria Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Victreebell
* Robert Wynn / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Fearow
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / English Pilgrim Dugtrio
* Frances Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Jynx
* J Holloman / ? / ? / Native American Porygon
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Jigglypuff
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Sandslash

; Row 5

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Exeggutor
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Kadabra

; Bottom row

* ? / ? / ? / Native American Missingno
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Hitmonlee
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Nidorina
* ? / ? / ? / Native American Persian

== Actual family tree ==
Basic ancestry of Chris is depicted in this tree.

Imaginary people removed:

[[File:Harvey Powers updated family tree.gif]]

A full-sized family tree going back many generations [https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH can be viewed here]<ref>[https://www.geni.com/people/Robert-Chandler-Jr/6000000004391419048 Bob's Ancestors]</ref><ref>[https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Chandler-5468 Bob's Immediate Family]</ref><ref>[http://www.ellerfamilyassociation.com/getperson.php?personID=I141&tree=christian2 Chris's Maternal Grandmother]</ref><ref>[https://www.richmond.com/news/local/hanover/mechanicsville-local/obituaries/william-gryder/article_d1f3f188-3241-11e6-8986-bf6ec13073c1.html One of Chris's Maternal Uncles by Marriage]</ref>.

== Notable ancestors ==
This section lists Chris' ancestors in chronological order from most to least recent death. Ancestors who fought for the Confederate States of America are listed separately, in the "Dixiechus" section.

=== Robert Wynn ===
Barbara's maternal grandfather '''Robert Pettus Wynn''' (17 Nov 1882 - 20 Jan 1954) was allegedly a two-timing [[Alcohol|drunk]] and moonshiner who "failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children".<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/genealogy/roots/individual.html#118</ref> In his death certificate, his profession is given as [[tobacco]] farmer.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

=== John James Hollomon ===
[[File:John James Hollomon.jpg|thumb|right|150px|John James Hollomon in 1910]]
Bob's maternal grandfather '''John James Hollomon''' (3 May 1868 - 16 Mar 1950) <ref>[https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/10638068/john-james-hollomon]</ref> was born in {{w|Meigs County, Tennessee}} but lived most of his later life in {{w|Wylie, Texas}}, a city and suburb in {{w|Collin County, Texas|Collin County}} and {{w|Dallas}} respectively. He was a well-known local pharmacist in the Collin county for over 50 years. He married twice in his life, first to Mary Francis Hollomon (née Teer 10th March 1872 - 3 Jul 1914), the daughter of a doctor specializing in osteopathic, whom he had 4 children including Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother. In 1915 he married Helen E. Hollomon (née Nelms 10 Apr 1893 - 29 Oct 1972) with whom he had 3 more children including Bob's half uncle Dr. John James "JJ" Hollomon Jr (1917-1992). Bob reminisces that Hollomon gave him a straight razor "by means of [Hollomon's] last will and testament," and Bob instead broke it while using it as a screwdriver, which he later held onto this regret for decades well into his 60s because he believed Hollomon wanted him to have it as a personal item and value.

Notable enough, his father was an Esquire John Richmond Hollomon (1831 - 1899), a lawyer and attorney in the Meigs County area.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70362078/susanna-brady#:~:text=of%20her%20son%2C-,J.R.%20Hollomon%20Esq.,-of%20this%20county</ref> More notable enough, his grandfather Pleasant Hollomon (1803 - 1865), served in the {{w|Tennessee House of Representatives}} in the Meigs and {{w|Rhea County, Tennessee|Rhea}} counties from 1849 to 1851. A democrat, he was a constable of the 5th Civil district of Meigs county in 1836-1839, was a deputy sheriff of Meigs in early 1840s and a deputy and tax collector in 1845.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/70361465/pleasant-hollomon</ref>

===Rev. Sidney Smith Chandler===
'''The Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler''' (1805 - September 1866) was a Baptist minister and clergyman in Alabama. He is Chris's great-great-great grandfather along his paternal line. Born in Georgia, his father died in 1816 when he was 11. He moved to Alabama in 1829 and became a Primitive Baptist Clergyman and Minster in Autauga County. He also was a slaveowner, owning one [[Kathleen|female slave]] in the 1850 slave census.

He later married Mary Lucinda Walker and later fathered 12 children, including Joseph and his brother Edmund. He died in September of 1866 just shortly after the end of the American Civil War. Two of his sons, James (1830-1862) and Edmund (1835-1865) would die fighting in the Civil War.

===Francis Weston===
'''Francis Weston Sr.''' (Feb 1793 - 19 March 1838) was an English-born immigrant to the United States and a frontiersmen. He is Barbara's great-great-grandfather along her paternal line, making him Chris's maternal great-great-great-grandfather.

Born in {{w|Derbyshire}}, he had immigrated to [[Ohio]] by 1820 and married at {{w|Wheeling, West Virginia}} a year later to Grace Moore, an English-born American, whose parents were also an immigrants from Derbyshire. They had six out of seven children survived, the second oldest being Mary Ann Weston in 1825 and the youngest Joseph Edward "John" Weston in July 1836,<ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HY-6Q23-PTF?i=2&cc=1401638&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMXSB-9Q8 Joseph (listed as Edward Weston) with his three older siblings and mother Gracy in 1850 census)]</ref><ref>[https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33S7-9BS6-DF?i=8&cc=1473181&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AMCPH-V55 Gracy Weston (Joseph's mother) in 1860 census with her son Francis]</ref> all in {{w|Augusta Township, Carroll County, Ohio|Augusta Township}}. Through Joseph, Francis's surname would be carried on to [[Barbara]], which, in turn, would serve as the basis for [[Chris|our hero]]'s middle name.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/118642485/francis-weston</ref>

According to newspapers, After immigrating to Augusta Township, Francis, a frontiersmen, built a homestead house of his and his family in a wilderness place with 2 other families surrounded by wild animals and forest. The homestead house was a shanty with puncheon floor and chimney made with sticks and clay. They mentioned about the one occasion Francis was chased by wolves in a forest when coming home from buying fresh meats. Francis would pass away at age 45 in March 1838, 2 years after his youngest son Joseph was born.

In a later pseudo-historical account of events by Barbara and Chris, Francis is replaced by a certain [[Daniel Weston]]. Unlike the historical Francis Weston, ''Daniel'' Weston travelled to North America in 1620 (a whole 2 centuries earlier than Francis), and has the honor of being of a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]] (whose {{w|Elizabeth I|only daughter}} died childless).

Francis' son, Francis Weston Jr, according to newspapers, was a "popular" and successful businessman and general merchant, owning iron and furnace company, and many other successful companies at Ohio, West Virginia and Missouri with a college education to his name. Through his daughter Jane, Francis Sr is the grandfather of {{w|Pierce County, Washington}}'s Superior Court judge & attorney William Oscar Chapman, who at the time of admitting to {{w|Ohio State Bar Association|Ohio bar}}, was in the same group of applicants with a later president of the United States {{w|William Howard Taft}}.

=== Captain Joseph Looney ===
Joseph Lewellyn Looney (abt.1740-1816) fought in the {{w|American Revolutionary War}} on the Patriot side. He fought in the {{w|Battle of Guilford Court House}} under major general [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene]].<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Looney-149</ref>

=== Polly Bowman ===
{{main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}
Chris has at least one [[Cherokee]] ancestor, about whom he absolutely knows nothing. The ancestor was introduced in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'', which was completed on 3 May 2005. The ancestor was long assumed to be nonexistent, but on 16 January 2025 - 19 years and 8 months later - the ancestor was discovered to be real by CWCki editor [[User:Cilria2|Cilria2]]. '''Polly Bowman "Cherokee Mother" Cherokee''' (abt 1703 to 1790) is Chris's 7th great-grandmother.

=== John Chandler and Elizabeth Lupo ===
Although there is no evidence that his mother's ancestors were on board the ''Mayflower'', Chris's paternal ancestors were among the first settlers of his home state of Virginia. Chris's direct male ancestor '''John Chandler''' (c. 1600-1657), a native of London, was an early settler of {{w|Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown}}, [[Virginia]], arriving in 1610 with a boat ''Hercules'', ten years before the ''Mayflower''.<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/John-Chandler-l/6000000008639070482</ref> John married the widow '''Elizabeth Lupo''' (née '''Bassano'''), a member of the illustrious {{w|Jeronimo Bassano|Bassano family}} of [[Chris and music|musicians]] who had been recruited from Venice by {{w|King Henry VIII}} to serve in his court (some have claimed that the Bassanos were of [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]] origin, but the jury is out). The Chandler family migrated southwest over the generations, passing through North Carolina and Georgia before settling in Alabama, Bob's home state.

John Chandler is the fifth great-grandfather of the Dixiechu Joseph Chandler, and the ninth great-grandfather of Chris.

===Richard Baker===
{{w|Richard Baker (chronicler)|Richard Baker}} (c. 1568 – 18 February 1645) was a politician, historian and religious writer. He was the English author of the ''Chronicle of the Kings of England'' and other works.

He is the 12th great-grandfather of Chris on Bob's mother side.

===Edward, Thomas Palmer & Thomas Overbury===
Thanks to John Chandler's grandson's wife Elizabeth Palmer, Chris's 7th great-grandmother, some Christorians did research about her ancestors. Chris has three known ancestors, two of which are Chris descendent of, and other is distantly related.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-2791</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-533</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Chris is a descendant of his 10th great-grandfather '''{{w|Edward Palmer (d.1624)|Edward Palmer}}''' (c. 1555–1624) from {{w|Gloucestershire}}, England, a gentleman with antiquarian interests who was known for his [[Stamps|extensive collections]] such as Roman coins and is best remembered for purchasing the then unnamed {{w|Garrett Island}} in colony of Virginia (now Maryland) for his plan of establishing university at the island.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-544</ref>

Edward had a son whom Chris is also descendant from. '''{{w|Thomas Palmer (burgess)|Thomas Palmer}}''' settled at Jamestown, Virginia on a boat ''Tyger'' with his wife Joan Jordan and 11 years old daughter Priscilla in November 1621. Shortly after their arrival at Jamestown, the Palmers were nearly killed by the [[Cherokian Clan|Powhatans]] during the {{w|Indian massacre of 1622}}, but survived by living in {{w|Jordan Point, Virginia#Jordan's Journey: Beggars Bush|Jordan's Journey}} shelter residence. Thomas was a captain in command of a company of militia from {{w|Eppes Island|Shirley Hundred Island}} and was a member of {{w|House of Burgesses}} at Jamestown on October 16, 1629.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Palmer-229</ref>

Perhaps notably, Thomas was a first cousin of [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_a_poet_and_lyricist|poet]] and [[Chris_and_writing#Chris_as_an_essayist|essayist]] '''{{w|Thomas Overbury}}''' through his father's sister Mary Palmer and her husband {{w|Nicholas Overbury}}. Overbury was known for his poem, ''A Wife'', and a victim of murder by poisoning which led to a scandalous trial.<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Overbury-10</ref>

=== Sir James Croft ===
Sir {{w|James Croft}} (1518- 4 September 1590) was English politician, who was Lord Deputy of Ireland, and MP for Herefordshire in the Parliament of England, He is Chris 12th great-grandfather on his paternal side.

=== Hugh and Isabel Bardolf ===
[[Image:Chris Anne Boleyn.png|thumb|How Chris is related to Anne Boleyn.]]
'''Hugh Bardolf''' (c. 29 September 1259 - c. 20 September 1304) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bardolf-9</ref> and '''Isabel Bardolf''' (born '''Isabel Aguillon'''; c. 25 March 1258 - c. 28 May 1323) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>, Chris' 19th great-grandparents, were a medieval English couple who married in 1281. According to a Redditor's Wikitree research in 2022, they are Chris' most recent shared ancestors with [[Anne Boleyn]] (albeit on his father's side, not his mother's): they gave birth to Thomas (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, Margery around 1283, William in 1284, and Nicola (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) around 1294. This means that, although Chris is not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, he is indeed a distant relative. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>

In addition to being the source of Chris's distant connection with Anne Boleyn, Hugh Bardolf was the first nobleman of {{w|Baron Bardolf}}, a noble title in the {{w|Peerage of England}}. His wife Isabel was a member of the {{w|Aguillon family}} (of French origin), who were feudal landowners in England. Isabel's father, Sir Robert Aguillon (c. 1226 - 15 February 1286)<ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-4</ref>, was a Sheriff of Surrey & Sussex County and a keeper of two castles in both counties.

Hugh Bardolf's descendants unite with those of John Chandler (b. 1600) in 1700, when Robert Chandler (John's grandson, 1659 - c. 1720) and his wife Elizabeth Palmer (Hugh's 10th great-granddaughter, b. 1664) give birth to Joseph Chandler (11 Aug 1700 - 11 Oct 1764), Chris' 6th great-grandparent, in {{w|New Kent, Virginia}}.

A stark contrast can be observed in the fact that Hugh's first child is the ancestor of prestigious nobility (namely Anne Boleyn and her daughter Elizabeth I, an actual queen of England), while Hugh's fourth and last child is the ancestor of our infamous protagonist.

== Dixiechus ==
"'''Dixiechus'''" is a nickname used by Christorians to describe ancestors of Chris who fought for the {{w|Confederate States of America}} during the {{w|American Civil War}}. It is a portmanteau of ''{{w|Dixie}}'' and ''[[Sonichu]]''. The first Dixiechu to be identified was Joseph Chandler, discovered by Kiwifarms user Meat Pickle on 20 December 2021. The term "Dixiechu" was proposed on the [[Official CWCki Server]] on 24 April 2024, by which point four Dixiechus had been identified.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris was asked if he may have had ancestors who fought for the Confederacy, at a time when Joseph Chandler (on his father's side) was the only known Dixiechu. In [[Jail Letter - 25 May 2022]], he denied that his father's ancestors had fought for the Confederacy, but conceded that his mother's ancestors may have done so. In 2024, Christorians discovered William Drury Thompson - a Dixiechu on the maternal side of Chris' ancestry - partially vindicating Chris' statement.

As of 2026, Christorians have identified 6 Dixiechus. Half are known to have sustained combat injuries. 2 hailed from Alabama, 2 from North Carolina, 1 from South Carolina, and 1 from Mississippi. Though [[Virginia]] was both the Confederacy's most populous state and stands as Chris' place or origin, it is not known to have spawned any Dixiechus.

A total of 1,082,119 people served the {{w|Confederate States Army}} during the civil war.<ref>https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/civil-war-facts</ref> Anecdotal evidence suggests that half of modern-day southerners have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy.<ref>There is no large-scale study of Confederate ancestry to the knowledge of this wiki, but genealogists familiar with this area tend to estimate a ballpark of 40-55%.[https://pastexplore.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/okay-so-you-have-civil-war-ancestors/][https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-todays-southern-US-population-actually-have-ancestors-who-fought-for-the-confederacy]</ref> In this light, Chris' Confederate heritage should be seen as reflecting the norm rather than his own eccentricity.

In chronological order from most to least recent death, the Dixiechus include:

=== Joseph Chandler ===
[[File:Joseph chandler.png|thumb|right|150px|Joseph Chandler in 1911]]
'''Joseph Chandler''' (14 April 1832 - January 1925) of {{w|Autauga County, Alabama}} is Chris's great-great-grandfather along his paternal line. Joseph Chandler enlisted in the Confederate Army as a private in May 1862. Serving in the unit {{w|38th Alabama Infantry Regiment}} at {{w|Fort Gaines, Alabama|Fort Gaines}}, he fought in the {{w|Battle of Mobile Bay}} before being paroled in April 1865 after the conclusion of the war and was later discharged in August of that year due to broken shoulder.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1487#post-10736839 A Kiwi Farms post with a record of Joseph Chandler]</ref><ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=0AA5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's professions after the war were farmer, shoe maker and largely a herb doctor.<ref>http://alagenealogy.com/Patriarchs/Chandler,%20Sidney%20Smith.htm#JOSEPH%20H.2%20CHANDLER</ref>

Joseph also had a younger brother Edmund (1835 - 1865, Chris's great-great-granduncle), who also fought for the Confederacy at [https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Camp_of_Instruction,_Talladega,_Alabama#:~:text=Talladega%20was%20one%20of%20two,would%20be%20obliged%20to%20enroll.| Camp of Instruction, Talladega, Alabama], died as a result during the war in 1865.<ref>https://www.nps.gov/civilwar/search-soldiers-detail.htm?soldierId=C3A5818C-DC7A-DF11-BF36-B8AC6F5D926A</ref> Joseph's two younger sons John (1876 - 1932) and Rufus (1880 - 1932), both were killed on March 21, 1932 in {{w|Chilton County, Alabama|Chilton County area}}, from the {{w|1932 Deep South tornado outbreak}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/106731994/john-tyler_morgan-chandler</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/26986157/rufus-sidney-chandler</ref>

=== Caleb Nelson Headley ===
[[File:CalebHeadley.png|thumb|right|150px|Caleb Headley]]

'''Caleb Nelson Headley''' (1847-1921) was born on the 8th of March 1845 (1846 or 1847 depending on which source) in Darlington County, South Carolina as the only son of Wills Headley and Rebecca Bell, Caleb's father Wills died when he was just 7 years old in 1854, and he was soon taken into the custody of James Huckabee (who would later become his stepfather), who taught the boy farming until he was 21 years old.

In 1863 when he was just 18 years old, he enlisted in the Confederate Army as part of the 63rd Alabama Regiment, Company H (They were also known as Second Alabama Reserve), he took part in fighting in Spanish Fort (he was wounded) and was discharged at his home (he was on furlough at the time) in May of 1865.

Shortly after the end of the war, he settled in Coosa County Alabama, in 1874 he married Caroline Louisa Estes when he was 28 and she was 24 at her father's house in Talladega, Alabama, He would have 8 children from 1874 to 1892 including Martha Headley (Bob's paternal grandmother), Caleb was a farmer for most of his life, in 1898 he attempted to run for a political seat in Alabama State Assembly as a Representative for Chilton County as independent but withdraw and then backed the Populist ticket for that seat.

Caleb would see his health worsen in his later years, he became nearly blind by his late 60s and by 1920 was living with his son Robert E. L Headley. He died on August 21st, 1921 in Shelby County, Alabama at age of 76.

=== William Teer ===
[[File:Willam Teer.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Image of William Teer. (Very likely to be authentic) <ref>This image was uploaded to findagrave in 2016; William Teer was not known to Christorians to be Chris' ancestor in 2016. Family trees from both 2017[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris%27s_family_tree_up_to_his_great_great_grandparents.png] and 2019[https://imgur.com/gallery/0BgQLyH] omit the ancestry of Bob's maternal grandmother. Furthermore, his biography on rootsweb uses a similar image.[https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~dougmay/genealogy/Wmteer.htm]</ref>]]
Bob's matrilineal great-grandfather, '''Dr. William Teer''' (March 29, 1837 - October 19, 1919), was born in {{w|Neshoba County, Mississippi}}, and grew up in {{w|Angelina County, Texas}} since he was 10 years old with his seven siblings. The family later relocated to {{w|Hopkins County, Texas|Hopkins County}} outside {{w|Cumby, Texas|Cumby}} in 1860, where he worked as a farmer before enlisting in the army for the Civil War.

In October 1861, aged 24, William and his two brothers James (1830 - 1863) and Wiley (1839 - 1862), enlisted in the Confederate Army in San Antonio. Serving in the 4th Texas Cavalry Regiment, William participated in the {{w|New Mexico campaign}} under {{w|Henry Hopkins Sibley|General Sibley}}. Both of his brothers died during the war; James died at a Union prison camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, in 1863. William and Wiley fought in the battles of {{w|Battle of Valverde|Valverde}} and later to {{w|Battle of Glorietta Pass|Glorietta Pass}}, where in April 1862, Wiley was reportedly "lost or killed" and William suffered serious injuries, including a shattered right arm, a damaged spleen, and later contracting hepatitis (It might be worth reflecting how close Teer was to dying at this point - a slightly different outcome could have prevented all of Christory a century before it began). After the capture of Texas Army's supply wagons by the US Army, they retreated, leaving William and other recovering soldiers at the {{w|Santa Fe, New Mexico|Santa Fe}} hospital before shortly being captured. He was later paroled in May 1862, returning to San Antonio. Due to his injuries and disability, he was honorably discharged from his unit by General {{w|Thomas Green (general)|Thomas Green}} in September 1863 and returned to his home in Cumby, working as a farmer despite his shattered right arm.

William was married four times throughout his life. In December 1862, he married Mary Frances Carraway of Alabama, who passed away in 1867. He then remarried Louisa Frances Spears of Tennesse, in 1868, but that marriage also ended early. In January 1871, he married Nancy Jane Coburn of {{w|Ashley County, Arkansas}}. From this marriage, he had seven children, including Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother and the wife of John James Hollomon. After Nancy's death in 1894, William remarried to Bettie King of {{w|Mount Pleasant, Texas|Mount Pleasant}} in March 1907 at age 70, and this marriage lasted until his death in 1919.

In November 1903, inspired by the nerve damage in his shattered right arm, William established himself as an {{w|osteopath}} doctor in {{w|Tyler, Texas}}, specializing in "Exophthalmic Goitre, Biliary Calculi (Gall Stones) Paralysis, and all Nervous Diseases." He became the president of the State Association of Drugless Doctors of Texas and advocated massaging and other holistic approaches to wellness. As a doctor in Tyler, he was described as a highly respected figure, endorsed by many prominent members of the city's society. After retiring, he resided at the Texas Confederate Home in Austin before moving back to Cumby in 1918, where he later passed away in October 1919 at his youngest daughter's {{w|Miller Grove, Texas|Miller Grove}} home caused by a second paralyzing stroke.

William was mentioned in a book titled "[https://archive.org/details/texanswhoworegra00john| Texans who Wore the Gray (1907)]", written by a Confederate officer, journalist, and author Sidney Smith Johnson (1840-1910). Johnson described William as "a brave Confederate soldier, a man of fine education, and a Christian gentleman."

=== Garnder E. Shearin ===
'''Garnder E. Shearin'''' (1836/1837 - 28 January 1901)<ref>https://digital.ncdcr.gov/Documents/Detail/shearin-gardner-e.-warren-county/1671784</ref><ref>https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-warren-record-gardner-early-shearin/521312/</ref> was a Confederate veteran from North Carolina. He married Martha in 1859. In May 1861, he enlisted in the Confederate army in Warren County, North Carolina, fighting in company B of North Carolina's 30th infantry regiment remaining in service until the end of the war in 1865.

An obituary to him reads: "I was not with him in the army but learned from others, that he was a faithful soldier. My association with him since the war enables me to say I never knew a kinder hearted or monre congenial natured man. Always ready to serve a friend."

He is ancestor of Chris via Barb's side of his ancestry.

=== Rufus Walker ===

'''Rufus Walker''' (1820-1895) was a Confederate soldier who served in Company H and came from Milton, Alabama, located in Autauga County. He became a prisoner of war after being surrendered by Lieutenant General Richard Taylor to Major E.R.S. Canby on May 4, 1865. Rufus was later paroled in Selma in June 1865.<ref>https://38thalabama.com/ndashv-to-zndash.html</ref>

According to the 1850 Census's Slave Report, Rufus Walker owned as many as '''twenty-one''' slaves before manumission in 1865. What benevolent people Chris is descended from!

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather, with the lineage as follows: Rufus Walker (1820-1895) > Mary Elizabeth Walker (1840-1887) > Joseph Chandler (1871-1947) > Robert F. Chandler Sr. (1906-1977) > Robert ("[[Bob]]") F. Chandler Jr. (1927-2011) > Chris

=== William Drury Thompson ===
'''William Drury Thompson''' (1814 - 17 May 1862) was a civil war enlistee from North Carolina, although it's unknown which side of the military force, (although there's a record suggesting he's a Confederate enlistee for North Carolina's Infantry 12th Regiment), died during his basic training in Richmond, Virginia due to illnesses, 2 months after enlisting.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/262604729/william-drury-thompson</ref>

He is Chris' great-great-great-grandfather. More specifically, he is the paternal grandfather of the maternal grandmother of Barbara.

==Ancestry.com content==
In [[January 2017]], a distant relative of Chris posted images to Kiwi Farms, on various documents relating to the Chandler family, acquired from Ancestry.com<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/</ref>

{{quotebox|Bob is apparently an only child, however Barbara has five deceased siblings and several more living ones.}}
{{quotebox|Most of Chris's ancestors were [[RandomSong1|farmers]], doing tasks that Chris would find back breaking.}}
{{quotebox|Chris, from what I gathered, is not 1/16 Cherokian. He is however 1/16 British and 1/8 French Canadian.}}
{{quotebox|His great great grandparent's from Northern Ireland.}}
The "Northern Irish" ancestor was Chris's great-great-grandmother Mary Weston (née McClintic, 31 Oct 1834 - 25 Dec 1910). Mary was born in the town of {{w|Omagh}} (whose name means "the [[Virgin with Rage|virgin]] plain" in Gaelic) in County Tyrone, in what is today {{w|Northern Ireland}}. She came to the United States between 1840 and 1850, likely as a result of the {{w|Irish Potato Famine}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/22502739/joseph-mcclintock</ref> She settled in Augusta, Ohio, where she married Joseph "John" Edward Weston, Chris's great-great-grandfather, in 1858, who was also from Augusta. Both later settled in {{w|Clarksville, Virginia}}.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/24279732/mary-weston</ref>

The "French Canadian" ancestor was Chris's great-grandmother Sarah Ann Weston (née {{w|Clan Hamilton|Hamilton}}, Apr 1867 - 25 Jan 1938), who was born in [[wikipedia:Huntingdon, Quebec|Huntingdon]], {{w|Quebec}} and came to Virginia with her family during the 1870s, settling near Red Oak.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/35318370/sarah-jane-weston</ref><ref>https://www.ancestry.com/discoveryui-content/view/6823228286:62476</ref> Although the majority of Quebeckers speak French, her surname and the fact that she was born in a predominantly English-speaking part of Quebec suggest that she belonged to the province's English-speaking minority. Moreover, her paternal and maternal grandparents were all born in [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scotland]], making her of entirely Scottish descent.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249266361/jane-hamilton</ref><ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/249027191/daniel-hamilton</ref> Sarah is Chris's most recent immigrant ancestor.

<center><gallery>
File:RobertPettusWynnWW1Draft.jpg|Robert Wynn WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:JosephWW1.png|Joe Weston WW1 military draftee (1918).
File:RobertChandlerSrDraft.png|Bob's father's WW2 military draftee (1940).
File:RobertSr1940DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's father's military card on a physical detail (1940).
File:Bob&Parents.png|Bob and his parents, Jean Hollomon & Robert F. Chandler Sr., (early 1940s).
File:RobertPettusWynnOldManWW2DraftCard.jpg|Robert Wynn WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:RobertWynn1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Robert Wynn military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:JoeOttoWestonOldMan1942WW2DraftCard.jpg|Joe Weston WW2 military draft card (1942).
File:JoeWeston1942DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Joe Weston military card on a physical detail (1942).
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's military card draftee (1946) (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png| Bob's WW2 military card on a physical detail (1946) (written in 1945).
File:JohnJamesHollomonObituary1950.jpeg|John James Hollomon's newspaper obituary (1950).
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.
File:Robert Chandler Sr.png| Bob's father with his four youngest kids (1969)
File:Chandler family reunion 1975.png | Chandler Family Reunion (1975)
File:Robert f obit.jpeg| Bob's father obituary (1977)
File:JerryAndBarbDivorce.png|1980 1 7 - Barbara, Jerry divorce.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in Jacksonville State University dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Barbarafamilycensus1950.png|Barbara and her parents and siblings - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Cole Smithey's family tree.png|Cole Smithey's family tree.
File:David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.png|David Alan Chandler and Kimberly Fay Howard's marriage certificate.
File:Savannah Chandler's family tree.png|Savannah Chandler's family tree.
File:2023ChrisDNATest.png|Chris's ancestry, showing him to be 100% pure cracker. [[Transgender|Also note the got-dang Y chromosome.]].
</gallery></center>

== See also ==

*[[Imaginary family]]
*[[Minor Family Members]]
*[[Weston Haiku]]

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Lists]]
{{Fantasies}}

CWCFlyingElephants

2026-07-17T18:18:19Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|frame|This video, quite clearly indeed, shows Chris's horrendous manchild-ass.]]

"'''CWCFlyingElephants'''" is a seven-minute video made by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], and published by [[The Miscreants]] on 27 [[April 2009]]. Chris made this "crazy nudie audition," as he dubbed it, for [[gal-pal]] [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. It shows Chris in his room, (mostly) naked, displaying a show of what he calls [[random-access humor]]. Chris runs, twirls, acts crazy and does handstands while [[nudes|completely in the nude]]. In addition, he [[parody|imitates]] lines from ''[[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd n Eddy|Ed, Edd, n Eddy]]'' and ''[[South Park]]'', quotes ''[[Monty Python]]'', plays with [[list of toys|toys]], and throws around [[Li'l Chris]].

==Videos==
===Audio-Only Video===

{{quote|And now for something completely different.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCFlyingElephants (Audio-Only)
| ytid = x1C32vxJxOY
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Vanessa|text}}
| shirt = [[Image:Creepyrobe.PNG]] Creepy Robe
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Power]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
}}

===Censored Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCFlyingElephants (Censored)
| ytid = eKrl7SA0Myo
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = [[Image:Creepyrobe.PNG]] Creepy Robe
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Power]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
}}

===Uncensored Video===

{{Protip|This video contains uncensored images of an autistic man's dick, balls, and ass uncensored for all of the world to see. If you're not into that, ''don't watch.''}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCFlyingElephants (Uncensored NSFW)
| video = {{#ev:archiveorg|CWCFlyingElephants}}
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = [[Image:Creepyrobe.PNG]] Creepy Robe
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Power]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris is standing in front of the camera wearing a bath robe. He briefly raises his eyebrows.'']

And now for [[Somecummpentydifferent|something completely different]]. [''removes his robe, revealing he is not wearing a [[The Classic|shirt]]''] BUUUUNG! And now, [''in a deep voice''] it's...[''normal voice''] ''[[Monty Python]]'s Flying Elephants''! [''poorly imitates the series' theme song, "The Liberty Bell"'']

[''spoken frequently fast and high-pitched''] [[Johan]], why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away? Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Johan! Greeg! Johan! Johan! Why is people running away? I don't know, buddy Greeg. Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg. Johan, Johan, why is people running away? [''slaps himself on the side of the head''] SHUT UP! He's acting crazy!

[''begins to let out muffled screams as he runs towards the door of his room, shaking the door knob as if it were locked. This also reveals the fact he is '''completely nude.''' He then pauses as he suddenly looks at something on the shelf.''] Hm! [''removes a magazine from the shelf''] [[Star Wars|It's a trap!]] [''throws the magazine on the table before he starts [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|constipatedly]] screaming again. He runs towards the door again, but seems to injure himself against something on the wall, crouching down to the floor in pain immediately after.'']

[''Jump cut to Chris standing in front of the camera, still nude.''] And now for something [[Speech impediment|cuppity different]], a man impersonating [[South Park|Towelie the Towel]]. [''begins imitating''] Oh my goodness, [[Un-clit|My]] [[China|pussy]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|is wet]]! Don't forget to bring a towel! What? When [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|your pussy is wet]], and you don't want to lose a bet, you want to dry yourself up right away! [''mimics flossing a towel between his legs''] That's why Towelie says: [''raises a finger in the air''] don't forget to bring a towel! [[Yawning Squirtle|Wanna get high?]] NOOOOO! NOOO!

[''In his impersonation of the Gumbys''] I would like to meet someone of [[Autism|superior intelligence]]. I would like to hear the sound of two bricks being smashed together. I would like to see...ten million stupid monkeeeeys. I would like to see [[Chris and religion|John the Baptist]] impersonation of [[Wikipedia:Graham Hill|Graham Hill]]. Yes, it's historic impersonations!

[''Jump cut to Chris, still in the same situation.''] Full-frontal nudity? Yes, I'd do it. If it was valid. If the money was valid. I haven't had enough of the permissive society! [[Virgin with rage|I've heard of unisex, but I've never had it]]. [''slaps himself on the side of the head''] Shut up, you're driving me crazy! AAAAAAAAAGH! [''ducks below the camera's view'']

[''Jump cut to Chris kneeling on his bed, face against the blanket. He hits his face against it several times.''] I'm a woodpecker! [''resumes''] 'Cept with dirt!<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from the ''[[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd n Eddy|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' episode "[http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/stop-look-ed/episode/123292/summary.html Stop, Look and Ed]"</ref> [''Resumes hitting his face against the bed several more times before rolling off to the side.'']

[''Jump cut to Chris doing a headstand on his sofa, completely nude, giving a full view of his anus and [[pickle]]. After he gets back to his feet, the camera jumps to Chris facing the door of his room. He rises up.'']

Get out of my head! [''yells while spinning in circles''] HLOO! [''falls to the ground. The camera slightly shakes.'']

[''Jump cut to Chris holding a Bumblebee toy.''] And now for something completely different. Bebelapdapbambalamba. Bebelabadapbambajamba-[[Transformers|Bumblebeeee]]! [''holds out the toy''] Buzzing around. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Really, [[Transformers|Prowl]]. [''holds up a Prowl toy in his other hand''] And how necessary is that side-car? Just so you can wear the helmet of your past mastaaaaaar?! [''Jump cut to Chris holding two different toys.''] Come here, [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]]. Lend me [[Wikipedia:Laserbeak|Laserbeak]]! [''pulls a piece of the toy off that looks like a guitar, and begins strumming it like it were a miniature instrument''] DIIII DIIII DIIII DIIII [[CWC More Than A Feeling|MORE THAN A FEELI-]]

[''jump cut to Chris without the toys'']

I like a [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|nice dance]], you're forced to! Otherwise...who said that? [''Starts twisting his head around.''] Who said that? Said that? Anywaaay. Who said that? There will now be a short intermission, during which small ice creams and large boxes will be served in the commissary. Another way to drive people away from the theater is to show a turfs-dispenser. Fzzzs. [''drops to the ground.''] Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. [[White knight|Pearls before swine]] presents!

[''Jump cut to Chris standing with his arms spread.''] The like, do you like this model, or how about this model? I'll give you a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|karate-kick]] for your money. Hyaah! [''kicks at the camera''] I'll give you a [[Punchy Sonichu|punch]], and a whiz-bang, and a boom! [''punches at the air several times''] All you got to do is come down here.

[''Jump cut to Chris doing his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]''] Oh my gosh, look at me! I'm naked! I forgot my [[Sailor Moon|sailor suit]], and my hat, and [[Duck|apparatus]]. I don't know, but I guess. [''reaches off screen and shows his clothing on camera''] Here's what I have to do. Here's my clothes. Bwaa. I went out of the cartoon.

[''Jump cut to Chris with a [[JenkinsJinkies|T-shirt wrapped around his face]]. He imitates [[South Park|Kenny]].''] Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Excuse me, what did you say? Hmmph, rmmph.

[''Jump cut to Chris no longer wearing it.''] Hey [[South Park|Kenny]], you get out here, you take off that stupid little orange or blue jacket, or whatever the hell color it is you wear, and talk to people like you every real life, don't just [[mumble]] your words.

[''Cue another jump cut.''] Hey dude, that's not cool.

[''holding a can of [[My Coke Rewards|Pepsi]].''] Yep. Yep. Yep. Mm-hm. [''Imitating Hank Hill; jump cut to Chris taking a sip of Pepsi, then gasping. Jump cut to Chris without the Pepsi''] Product placement, eh--product placement in this program is hereby endorsed and provided by the studio, which is provided from the companies of which those products became, originated from, thereof. Another way we can drive people away from the studio is to act. Like. A. Loony!

[''Cue another jump cut.''] I once knew a man from Nantucket, he has on his head, a silly bucket. And now I have [[HippoOnYourHead|on my head]], [''grabs a teddy bear''] a [[Li'l Chris|silly little bear]], I'm wearing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|clean underwear]]. Wearing clean underwear like I just don't care. [''squeezes the bear's paw and it starts to speak'']

Wow, he just said what I said. I'm undecided! [''throws the bear and begins screaming and running around his room again. He lifts a chair, looks at the camera, then lowers it''] HNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! PFOOP! [''falls to the ground, shaking the camera. Jump cut to Chris' foot in the air, with a sock on.''] Hm, I guess he's done left the studio for now. Well, that's all folks. Du du du du du du du du. Du du du du du du du du. [[Pedofork|Pedi]] pedi di di. Plong. ['' other foot joins in''] LILILILILILILILI! Plonk.

[''Jump cut to Chris, standing up.''] Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Moola moola moola. He must be asking for a [[Monthly tugboat|handout]]. Indeed. And now it's the indeed show, starring [[Gilligan's Island|Mr. Thurston Howell III]]. Indeed. Indeed. [''The video used in this article ends with a cut to black, then a zoom-in on Chris's face while he makes a noise.'']

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Random-access humor]]
*[[Monty Python]]
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Nudes]]
*[[CWC 3D Voice Check]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/file/yo8nvtsjjpwlfqm/CWCFlyingElephants.mp4/file Uncensored version - Mediafire - Download Required] (NSFW, of course)

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Power]]|nextlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]|}}
{{VanessaSaga}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]
[[Category:Videos containing nudity| 2009-04-27]]
[[Category:Vanessa Saga videos| 2009-04-27]]

Chris's room (14 Branchland Court)

2026-07-17T18:02:54Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{quote|I get ants in my bed a bunch of times (annoying, just the same); I spray some Raid on the walls, and I’m safe.|Chris, replying to a Twitter comment on bedbugs<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#Ants]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Panorama.jpg|A panoramic view of the dragon's lair.|thumb|center|1000px]]
[[Image:OhFuckNo.png|Only God and The Bear are able to help you now.|thumb|300px]]

'''[[Chris]]'s room at [[14 Branchland Court]]''' was where he formerly spent a majority of his adult life. It is where he kept many of his [[toys]], [[video games]], posters, art, and other assorted paraphernalia. As of [[July 2021]], he no longer resides at 14 Branchland Court.

==Pre-fire room==
[[Image:Chrischansroom15xt7.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A rough map of Chris's room pre-[[2014 house fire|house fire]].]]

Chris's bedroom was on the second floor of [[14 Branchland Court|his parents' house]], with 2 windows on the northwest wall. Based on Chris's [[Tour of Chris's House|video tour]] of the house, his cluttered room was actually the ''cleanest'' room in the house, which may explain why so much of his time was spent there.

Chris's room, like most bedrooms, also summed up many of his awful habits and traits:
* His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the massive amounts of clutter.
* His incredible laziness, as evidenced by how much of said clutter was scattered haphazardly on the floor, bed and couch.
* In contrast, the careful and orderly arrangement of his [[video games]], [[DVD]]s, [[trading cards]], posters, and [[toys]] shows how they rank on his list of priorities against things like [[Wendy's|work]], [[education]], [[gal-pals|human]] [[Sweetheart|relationships]], or [[Autism|personal development]].
* The [[Megan Shrine]], the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him, whom he drove away all on his own.
* Next to the shrine is a large walk-in closet; rather than being used to store clothing, this appears to have instead been used to loosely store everything else spilling over from the main area of the room; in later photographs of the area, taken after the dismantling of the shrine, it appeared to be effectively inaccessible, filled to the brim with shelves, boxes, assorted video games, folders and other miscellany.
* The prevalence of [[Pokémon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], and other franchises aimed at children — people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris.
* The majority of his possessions are toys or video games — objects which perform predictably [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Materialism|within his absolute control]].
* He also shows extreme hoarding behavior that is commonly found in [[Barbara Chandler|the elderly]], [[Abusive babysitter|formerly abused children]] and the [[autism|autistic]].
* The stench, not visible on video or photograph, can still be inferred from the many accounts of [[11042009 51 50|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|feces]], and [[SpaghettiRoutine|rotten food]] left around. Let's put it this way: he once told [[Ivy]] that one [[Giant Penis Comic|Glade air freshener]] ''wasn't enough.''<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>
* Finally, Chris retreated to his room whenever he felt the slightest bit of [[stress]], refused to discard his detritus, and saw it as the gateway to his fantasy world of [[CWCville]]; it is safe to assume the toys which he claims to play with for 2-3 hours a day<ref>[[Mailbag_25#In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day|Mailbag #25]]</ref> are like a physical extension of his own imaginary world that provide a sense of safety and comfort.

In [[February 2009]], [[Clyde Cash]] forced Chris to [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|clean up his room a bit]].

Besides Chris, only two other people have been seen venturing into the cesspool he calls his room: [[Bob Chandler]], as exposed in a [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|leaked video]], and the [[Magical Man]], as seen in [[Magical Man Potion]]. One animal, [[Kitty Chandler]], was shown in Chris's room in [[20 December 2009|another video]].

After the blazing fires of [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]] and the brief residence-taking of the [[Rental House]], Chris and [[Barb]] moved back into 14 Branchland Court in [[2015]]. He moved into another room and left the old one to be used for storage.

===Images===
These images are arranged beginning at the northeastern wall of the room, going counter-clockwise. Not included here are photographs of the southeastern wall and east corner.

The [[Tomgirl Pictures]], released on 29 [[April 2011]], seemed to indicate that the Wall of Originals was either removed or gone.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 1.jpg|[[April 2000]], as Chris was moving back in from [[Richmond]].
Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|Northeastern wall, near the north corner. [[The Wall of Originals|A sheet of his homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] is here. It was previously believed that this covered a window, but the new [[Tomgirl Pictures]] have shown that this is not the case.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|North corner
Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Northwestern wall near the north corner. The air conditioner on the left here can be seen in the upper left corner of the front of his house.
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|Northwestern wall near the west corner.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|West corner. The bookshelf on the right is the [[Megan shrine]].
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|Southwestern wall. The closet doors are behind the shelves of vidya. It's not clear how Chris can access the contents of the closet, assuming he ever does.
Image:0827-EP12-5P6-6.jpg|South corner. The door leads out of the room into the hallway. The [[Attraction Sign]] can be seen hanging on the back of the door. In [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], the portal leading to CWCville appears where the ''Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix'' mat is hanging. Take note of the ''Bubsy'' game on the shelf.
Image:ECP 00090.jpg|Great view of the Wall of Originals.
Image:ECP 00084.jpg|Three bookshelves full of games.
Image:100 0836.JPG|Close-ups of the Desk of Fail.
Image:100 0834.JPG
Image:100 0833.JPG
Image:100 0832.JPG
Image:100 0831.JPG
File:100_2242.JPG
File:100_2243.JPG
File:100_2245.JPG
File:100_2246.JPG
File:100_2247.JPG
File:100_2248.JPG
File:100_2249.JPG
File:100_2250.JPG
File:100_2251.JPG
File:100_2252.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

===Post-fire===
[[File:Boxes1.jpg|thumb|Chris's old room, pictured in 2016|250px]]

As of 2016, the room is used for storage.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning]]</ref> He also mentioned the room in a Facebook post from [[December 2016]], in which he described Sorbet getting stuck in his "old bedroom" for the better part of the night.
{{clear}}

==Post-fire room==
[[File:IMG 3207 hd720.mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, pictured in his new bedroom circa 2016.]]

Footage of the room, post-[[2014 house fire]], after the house renovations, first appeared in [[HelloLadyFans]]. It is located on the first floor, near the stairs that lead to the upstairs kitchen<ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref>.

In his room, Chris had a bed - which he had bought with [[DStecks]]'s $1,000 donation; during 2018, at the age of 36, he purchased [[My Little Pony]]-themed bedding for it. The bedding apparently did not remain an untouched shrine to cartoon horses for long. In [[August 2019 social media posts#Ants|August 2019]], while replying to a Twitter comment about bedbugs, Chris volunteered that he had dealt with ants in his bed "a bunch of times," treating the problem by spraying Raid on the walls.<ref name=ants>[[August 2019 social media posts#Ants]]</ref> While this does not prove a bedbug infestation, it is one of Chris's more direct admissions that pests had reached the place where he slept. It also fits the broader post-fire decline of [[14 Branchland Court]], which had already begun sliding back into hoarding and poor sanitation after the renovations, with dirty carpet, pet newspaper spots, and the infamous [[Pokémon GO]] image of the stained work-room carpet all appearing during the same general period.<ref>[[14 Branchland Court#Return of the hoard]]</ref>

As pest-control advice, Chris's solution was about as careful as one would expect from the same man who used the room to [[Shoe Colouring|spray-paint his shoes]]. Raid's own usage guidance tells users to follow label instructions, ventilate treated areas, and keep people and pets away until spray has dried; the EPA similarly warns that indoor pesticides should be used only as directed and in recommended quantities.<ref>[https://raid.com/en-us/education/bug-basics/how-to-apply-pest-control-spray How To Apply Pest-control Spray], ''Raid''.</ref><ref>[https://www.epa.gov/indoor-air-quality-iaq/pesticides-impact-indoor-air-quality Pesticides' Impact on Indoor Air Quality], ''United States Environmental Protection Agency''.</ref> Chris, naturally, presented spraying the walls as if it were a perfectly normal bedtime maintenance routine.

As if this wasn't enough fail, he also kept a drawing of his [[Polyamorous marriage|wife and husband]] taped to the ceiling.

The [[Sonic Totem]] was stationed in this room until he sold it. In a move reminiscent of the Christmas tree that was abandoned in the [[Kitchen]] pre-fire, Chris kept a tree in his room months after Christmas, as shown in [[IMG 3207]], until [[Idea Guy]] tricked him into destroying it on camera in [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis!]]. In [[Tour of Chris's House III]], we can see his new room is already cluttered with clothes and junk--and yet, it's still the least-hoarded area in the house. Some of what "decorated" the original room for over a decade (posters, drawings, plush toys, figures, electronic devices, etc.) was lost or put elsewhere in the house. The rest was scattered onto tables in his "work room."

The Idea Guys directed Chris to record himself pissing and shitting on a towel on the floor in this room<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-8-13-hasbro-mlp-g4-must-continue-no-mlp-g5.46554/post-3660270</ref> - one leaked example is in the [[All Star]] video. Chris [[Shoe Colouring|spray-painted his shoes]] in this room, staining the carpet in the process.

It is unknown whether the room has been altered following Chris's arrest for [[incest]] or if it has been left untouched.

<center><gallery>
File:CWC Discord1.jpg|''Ladies...''
File:A little song and dance (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|200px|left|Note the box of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|feminine hygiene pads]].
File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg|His [[mother]] posing on his bed.
File:I need some local C64 Tech Help, Please00001.png|Chris with his spouses, pictured in 2018.
File:Sylvia with Chris in bed 8 Nov 2018.jpeg|Chris getting some pussy.
</gallery></center>

===Images===
In August 2020, additional pictures emerged of Chris's current room. Surprising no one, it's still cluttered with his various accumulated junk and toys.
<center><gallery>
File:12_07_20_house_tour.jpg
File:12_07_20_roomtour.jpg
File:12.07.20_room.jpg
File:12.07.20_room2.jpg
File:12.07.20_room3.jpg
File:12.07.20_room4.jpg
File:ChrisAugust2020.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{clear}}

==Work room==
[[File:Please, Donate (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, begging for money in the same room he keeps his thousands of dollars worth of toys that he could sell.]]

During the mid-[[2010s]] to early [[2020s]], Chris kept most of his vast collection of toys in this room. It is presumably the once-inaccessible living room seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House|house tour]].

He mentioned it by name in [[IMG 3207]], where he said that he was in his bedroom, which is separate from his "work room." By "work," he meant making products such as Amiibos and drawings for his [[Etsy]] shop. About a week after calling it the work room, Chris was banned from selling on Etsy for failing to fulfill orders.

Ironically, this is the room where he recorded himself begging for money the most during the [[Financhu Crisis]]. While begging, he kept his toys in full view behind him, demonstrating that he has no sense of self-awareness.

Most of his videos from 2015 onward were recorded in this room.

[[File:Chris's flatscreen TV 2017.png|thumb|left|Chris's TV. Note the photo of [[Bob]] in the center. And, yes, Chris kept this TV even while he begged for food money.]]

He also has a large flatscreen TV, with his Nintendo, Sony, Sega and [[HEXBox]] consoles hooked up to it. His PSN shows that he keeps both the PS3 and PS4 connected<ref>https://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu</ref>, and [[Arthur Spatchcock]] has confirmed that he keeps the PS4 running constantly,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-reads-unicorns-rainbows-and-a-bluebird-of-happiness.21663/page-8#post-1534000</ref> and that not even being late on his electric bills was enough to get him to reduce his electric consumption.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-chris-angrily-tweets-at-cole-smithey-to-help-barb.21918/page-7#post-1554457</ref> Chris has also been observed keeping his Wii U console powered on constantly without the benefit of the power-saving Standby Mode feature.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-158#post-2253357</ref>

In January of 2016, Chris revealed in [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]] that he had acquired a new addition to the [[Relics of Fail]]. He bought a schooldesk from Goodwill for $30. Chris might have bought the desk as a fond reminder of his days at [[Manchester High]], when he was free of adult responsibilities. Depressingly, he has filmed many videos of himself sitting at the desk and bashing action figures into each other like a child.

{{clear}}

<center><gallery>
File:Update 1 17 2016 (720p).mp400001.png|Making custom Amiibos for [[Etsy]] in January 2016. Later in the year, he was barred from selling due to failing to send orders.
File:Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, a.mp400001.png|Chris, age 34, playing with his toys.
File:Happy Birthday, McKenna.mp400001.png|In the room, facing the TV.
File:$50 for a video holiday greeting!.mp400001.png|The other side of the room.
File:Living room August 2018.jpg|The room in August 2018, packed with toys.
File:Filthy carpet in Work Room - July 2019.jpg|Stained carpet, in July 2019, shared from [[Pokemon Go]] with the comment, "Party Time."
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[14 Branchland Court]]
* [[Megan Shrine]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]

==References==
<references />

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Places}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]

File:OhFuckNo.png

2026-07-17T17:59:28Z

FullNameUnknown: Made by yours truly, @fullnameunknown Produced by special request in the CWCki

== Summary ==
Made by yours truly, @fullnameunknown

Produced by special request in the CWCki

Chris and business

2026-07-17T04:54:24Z

FullNameUnknown: It was inevitable I would make a mistake during editing.

{{Dated|Chris's business ventures following his release from [[Jail Saga|jail]]}}
{{Needs Updating|[[OfficialCWCmart]]|[[Cwclight]]|[[Cameo]]}}
{{quote|That is not my fault the frame got broke in transaction, the envelope was clearly marked “Fragile” and “Handle With Care”, and it was shipped well in a bubble envelope. Either you, being Trollish, or the Postal Carriers are to blame for the frame’s arriving condition.|An example of Chris's customer service skills<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220516025146/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1017880748009967618</ref>}}

[[File:Update 1 17 2016 (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris pictured at his "[[Work Room]]" in [[January 2016]]]]

Chris launched an online '''business''' in [[June 2014]], selling custom arts and crafts through [[eBay]]. A year later, he moved shop to [[Etsy]], under a brand titled "Cwcville Shopping". He also began selling printed copies of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on [[Lulu]]. He held a steady stream of customers, despite issues with production and sending orders on time. For a while, he had achieved his dream of selling his own Sonichu merchandise, and was making plenty of [[Chris and money|money]].

However, exactly two years and one week after the start of his business, on 8 [[June 2016]], Chris's [[Chris and work|infamous laziness]] caught up to him, and he was banned from Etsy for ignoring orders over a span of months beginning from when he bought a [[PS4]]. He did not take responsibility for the self-inflicted failure of his business. Instead, he lied to save face and cast blame on Lulu.com's staff for having stressed him out by labeling Sonichu as fan fiction and banning his account half a year beforehand in [[December 2016]] (even though he had actually ban-evaded by opening a private account and was back to offering books through Lulu's services only weeks later).

After the Etsy ban, Chris fell back on [[Financhu Crisis|begging]] and Paid Video Requests to cover [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s credit card bills and his expensive [[toy]] purchases. In [[May 2017]], he felt like returning to work on the Sonichu comic and, throughout the next several months, began to rebuild his business, using [[Patreon]], Lulu and [[Redbubble]], and accepting interviews for money. In [[November 2019]], Chris created a website called [[CWCville Shopping]] to sell cards and comics, though it only lasted a few months as Chris couldn't afford to pay the monthly fee to keep the site up.

In [[September 2020]], a [[fan]] named [[Caden Peck]] and Co went to Chris's house to propose a business partnership with their group [[Praetor]]. This allowed Chris to return to Etsy yet again with the opening of [[OfficialCWCmart]] in [[December 2020]]. Caden has expressed his interest in Chris's level of popularity in contrast to how little he capitalizes on it, and has taken note of Chris being [[Chris and stress|overwhelmed]] at his own attempts to do so, both of which being reasons why he decided to reach out to him himself.<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The Place Chats#Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref> Caden has claimed that no one else previously has been "smart enough" to be as successful as Praetor is with Chris.<ref>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref> In [[September 2024]], Chris created a website called [[Cwclight]] to sell various junk. After many years, Chris returned to making personalized video messages, joining the [[Cameo]] website in [[February 2026]].

Chris & Praetor seem to have been very successful with Chris, with his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy shop]] raking in an estimated $151,371 after Etsy fees. While it is almost guaranteed that most of the money is funneled back to Praetor and Caden, this seems to be a steady source of income for Chris and is assumedly how he is able to keep making frivolous purchases, along with how he is able to keep spoiling his little [[Flutter|Finnish hearthrob]].
==List of ventures by type==
===Storefronts===
{{main|eBay|Etsy}}
On 1 [[June 2014]], Chris began cashing in on his Internet infamy, by offering custom artwork for sale. He later expanded his sales to include autographed photos, medallions, custom Amiibos, and personal items related to Christory. This would be his most profitable and otherwise his most important commercial endeavour. Over the years, he would earn thousands of dollars by selling off Sonichu-themed memorabilia and sundries;<ref>Sales listings ([[2014-2015 Sales Listings|to 2015]], [[2016 Sales Listings|2016]], [[2017 Sales Listings|2017]], [[2018 Sales Listings|2018]], [[2019 Sales Listings|2019]])</ref> the largest financial contributions were often made by aspiring [[weens]] to establish contact with Chris and put themselves in a friendly position.<ref>[[Aly Hirschberg]]</ref><ref>[[Teen Troon Squad]]</ref><ref>[[Jacob Sockness]]</ref> He would not always fulfil his orders, however, and after receiving an abysmal 85% satisfaction rating through customer reviews, his merchant account was [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|suspended]] on 16 [[June 2019]]. Proposals to circumvent the ban through a partnership with [[Jacob Sockness]] were never implemented.

On 2 [[September 2015]], Chris expanded his online business to Etsy. He continued the same offerings from eBay and added a donation listing for the continuation of the Sonichu series. Days later, on 5 September, a YouTuber named [[DStecks]] donated $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. Instead, Chris completed 16 pages before dropping the project. This move remains controversial with Christorians, as while some believe that he honestly wanted [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] to continue, others argue that this [[ween|weenish]] move validated begging in Chris's eyes, as seen with the influx of begging videos in the [[Financhu Crisis]]. In addition to DStecks, dozens of fans had also donated. Chris simply claimed that he was too stressed to continue ''Sonichu'' #11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

However, Chris still had a passion for making custom [[Amiibo]]s for several months afterwards; he took it seriously enough that he was willing to [[Ohio trip|drive hundreds of miles]] through Virginia just to buy parts for Amiibos to sell on Etsy.<ref>[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]</ref> He wasted hundreds of dollars buying up Amiibos on eBay, thinking that the market for his custom figures would sustain itself indefinitely. This was not the case. and Chris eventually grew apathetic and bored with earning his own money. To complicate things further, Chris purchased a [[PS4]] in [[March 2016]]. The new life upgrade proved too distracting, and he ignored Etsy orders, often for months. Ultimately, Etsy took notice and banned his store from doing business.

===Self-publishing===
{{main|Lulu|Redbubble}}

Chris took over a decade to try any self-publishing channels. [[Clyde Cash]] beat him to the punch by posting Chris's comics on Lulu.com. Chris simply retorted by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails from 2010]], Chris claimed that he was working on fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task, and he eventually dropped the project. Undaunted, Chris began selling printed copies of the Sonichu comic on Lulu.com in [[September 2015]],<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Now Chris is on Lulu]]</ref> as well as offering autographed versions through Etsy (by ordering the comics from Lulu, signing them, then shipping to the buyers).

In [[December 2015]], Chris was banned from Lulu for selling [[Sonichu (comic)|fan fiction]].<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Account Suspended]]</ref> In true Chris fashion, he responded by threatening Lulu's executives with physical violence,<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Threatening Lulu's Executives]]</ref> despite the fact that he was on probation for [[26 December 2014|an act of violence]] against a GameStop employee. Chris was able to continue selling comics in [[January 2016]],<ref>https://archive.md/p0WVk</ref> probably rejoining Lulu under an alternate account. He was discovered within a few months, and again his account was shut down.

Deprived of other reliable avenues, Chris has torpidly sought other ways to sell his own works. He opened a shop on Redbubble, an online shopping company where users can sell custom-printed items based on images of the seller's choice, on 3 [[October 2017]], selling pictures of himself pre-[[Tomgirl]] and drawings of himself on framed pictures, pillows, and miniskirts, among others. Much later, on 23 [[November 2019]], the spiritual successor to Chris's Etsy opened as a new Web site of the same name: [[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]. Here, Chris would offer his [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|handmade trading cards]] for a ''[[My Little Pony]]''-themed game at extreme prices.

===Commissioning===
{{main|Paid Video Requests|Patreon|Cameo|OfficialCWCmart commissions}}
In December 2015, [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|'''the singularity''']] happened. On Etsy, Chris offered to create a personalized video message for anyone who paid $50. Many of his fans took him up on the offer, thinking they could become [[Weening|a part of Christory]] by simply handing their money over to him. He received four sales within the first three days,<ref>[[:File:Etsy unlisted videos.jpg]]</ref> although those customers opted for their videos to be unlisted. A few people also chose public videos for their birthday shoutouts.<ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Jonathan]]</ref> After losing his Etsy shop, Chris continued offering video requests through text messages.<ref>[[Update 20160718]]</ref>

The videos Chris delivers are characterized by:

*Laziness. He has often been late on delivering, missing deadlines for birthday greetings, despite having an abundance of free time.<ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref>

*Sloppiness. Chris chooses not to edit his takes or look presentable. He has delivered a video featuring an upskirt shot of his maxipad.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]</ref>

*Explicitly stating that the content is boring. In many videos, Chris has mentioned his low opinion of his customers, saying things like "Eh, whatever" and "Wow, that's crazy, that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. Whatever", while rolling his eyes.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter]]</ref><ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]</ref>

*Filling up paid content time with drivel or off-topic rambling,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref> despite the fact that his videos are advertised as "around a minute in length, on average, but can be longer in time length".<ref>[[Etsy#Custom, Birthday, Holiday, or General, Greeting Video featuring Christine Weston Chandler]]</ref>

In spite of these issues, he has a continuing stream of customers. A Kiwi Farms user named Vanillacone, summed up the mindset of the lot with his review of [[Happy Birthday, Jonathan|the $50 paid video he ordered from Chris]] (which consisted of him being late, babbling to fill up time, failing to spell the recipient's name correctly and delivering a video 39 seconds long out of the minimum one minute):

{{quotebox|To be honest, I got what I expected out of the video, and money well spent in my opinion.}}

Chris joined Patreon on 30 [[November 2016]] as a response to pressure from the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He initially set it up to beg for money, claiming that he would produce more Sonichu comics if his fans paid off his mortgage and bills – he was met with low support levels, generally below $40 per month. This suddenly changed around [[June 2017]]. Picking up momentum from resuming the Sonichu comic of his own volition in May, he revamped his Patreon to offer more reasonable support tiers for fans. He has enjoyed a significant uptick in support due to his continued work on the comic, earning around $500-600 per month. As his interest in his own comic has abated, and new pages more rarely released, patron support has shrivelled to about a third of its peak. Reforming his backer awards by distinguishing different ''[[Chris and English|teirs]]'' for every dollar level given have not improved his steady decline in support.

===Miscellaneous affairs===
{{main|Sonichu Entertainment of America}}
In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate Chris's belief that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value. Three years later, in [[April 2019]], ''Sonichu Entertainment of America'' was noted by Google Maps, prompting Chris to laud his company as legitimate in a video, though it would see no further activity.

On 24 [[November 2016]], Chris asked his audience to watch a clip of him playing ''[[Skylanders]]'', by uploading [[CWC vs Koas]], in order to promote the idea of selling his [[Chris and his Ego#Fixation on self-image|in-game figure]] to them using the game's [https://www.skylanders.com/creator Skylanders Creation app]. He would charge "$20 extra" for his autograph. He also said "I am not sharing my creation app chirp", since this would allow people to order directly from Skylanders and cut off Chris's goal of [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Chris Chan Amiibo Complete Three Piece Set (from Original Creator)|profiting from his self-image]].<ref>https://archive.md/fhBJ2</ref> On 12 January 2017, Chris uploaded [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]] as a half-hour advertisement video, showing off multiple ''Skylanders'' products he had ordered, a $15 card, a $30 T-shirt and a $50 3D-doll, all emblazoned with his avatar image, [[Financhu Crisis|totaling at least $90]].

[[File:Skylanders swag.png|thumb|The ''Skylanders'' raffle prizes, featuring images of Chris's custom game avatar.]]
Chris's largest business failure to date followed soon after. Various ''Skylanders'' avatar products and a Son-Chu figure were announced as prizes for a raffle Chris conceived<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Raffle for new merch]]</ref> to push sales of his [[stamps]], slated to run from 27 March through [[Honor roll|31 April]] 2017. The cost of entry was buying one of Bob's stamps or Chris's stamp album on eBay, with a limit of one entry per buyer. Initially, Chris announced that the winner would receive a [[Son-Chu]] figure and a ''Skylanders'' figure, and 15 runners-up would each receive a ''Skylanders'' card. A week later, he added ''more'' prizes to the mix: ''Skylanders'' T-shirts.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Another gimmick for stamp sales]]</ref>

[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|250px|thumb|left]]
Chris seemed to be banking on the $1,000 album selling, as it was the only scenario in which he could have shown a profit from the raffle – he promised an automatic win of a set of all three prizes. His expenditure for the raffle prizes totalled '''$840'''.<ref>He confirmed ordering $750 of Skylanders cards/T-shirts in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]. After the raffle, Chris mentioned [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017|in a video]] that he still needed to order the Skylanders figure and parts to make Son-Chu (estimated at $40).</ref> No one bought the album, and less than 15 people participated in the raffle (although a mass buyer had purchased 18 stamps). He was left with a '''negative profit of $674.24'''.<ref>[[Stamps#Raffle]]</ref>

In [[December 2020]], Chris teamed up with [[Praetor]] to produce more Sonichu [[medallions]]. The medallions are not created by Chris, but he (supposedly) oversees the design and production of the medallions. The medallions are of noticeably worse quality than those created by Chris, but that hasn't stopped the team from selling over 130 medallions as of 14 December 2020. The jointly-owned [[Etsy]] page can be found [https://www.etsy.com/shop/OfficialCWCmart here].

By [[May 2022]], the partnership with Praetor extended to [[Praetor Jail Art|selling monochrome artwork Chris had drawn whilst jailed]]. Naturally, given the [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|newer delusions Chris had begun to machinate shortly after ending up behind bars]], these drawings primarily center around his pseudo-religion.

{{clear}}

===Abortive ventures===
In [[November 2015]], Chris announced that he would be setting up a shop on '''Zazzle.com'''.<ref>[[Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology.]]</ref> He mentioned it again half a year later, in June 2016.<ref>[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]]</ref> No progress was made, and to this day, Chris has never opened a Zazzle shop. Why he dragged his feet so much is unknown: Zazzle takes care of manufacturing and shipping, and there are no startup costs. All he would have to do is take some Sonichu drawings and upload them.

In [[October 2017]], amid being the subject of '''interviews''' by [[Merryweathery]], [[Documentary|Sachumo]] and [[CopperCab]], Chris announced that he was open to being a guest on more interviews for payment<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_tweets#Accepting_paid_interviews</ref>. Although he didn't specify his going rate, Merryweathery mentioned that Chris had asked him for $200<ref>https://archive.md/r6gWI</ref>. He has since given interviews for free,<ref>[[Pappy Van Poodle Interview]]</ref> taking the bend out of this potential scheme (although it seems that he was paid for [[The Create Unknown]] interview in [[October 2020]]).

==Customers and their reasons for buying==
{{see also|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

{{quote|a piece of valuable Internet culture|A potential buyer on Chris's comics.}}

[[File:Potential customers.png|thumb|200px|Potential customers mull over buying Chris's comics on [[Patreon]].]]

While many who follow Chris refuse to give him money and shun those who do, buyers seem to regard Chris memorabilia as pieces of internet culture that might become valuable over time. A February 2019 video in which a customer unboxed a [[Sonichu 0]] comic printed from [[Lulu]] attracted over 100,000 views, and many commentators expressed a desire to buy for themselves.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5G5U-eLzEg</ref> Ironically, the resulting bump in Chris's Patreon gave him so many orders to fulfill that he crashed into slumber and simply ignored the backlog of orders.

==Ad revenue==

When he was uploading his ''Sonichu'' comic pages to the [[CWCipedia]] in 2009, the thought of monetizing his web comic didn't cross his mind. People had been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' – the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

In [[2016]], Chris monetized his YouTube channel<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube monetization]]</ref> and added a Support button<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube Support button]]</ref> (ostensibly to accept donations for Sonichu projects, even though he didn't want to work on that, and for a year, YouTube simply became another place from which he could beg for money).

It took a while for Chris to try drawing on-camera in [[Live Drawing Streams]], and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often and has done an extremely poor job of it. He simply sits in front of his [[PS4]] camera, which is hard-coded to only record in flipped mirror mode, and is positioned so that viewers see an upside-down video set at a dizzying angle.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content''.)

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional web cartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[Autism|autistic]] mind.

The same mindset also pervades every other aspect of his business, namely that Chris will procrastinate on shipping orders. A key example is how he almost fucked up the [[Sonic Totem]] sale - he received $1,500 for it, immediately wasted much of his profit on [[$400 gold necklace|bling]] and failed to ship it to the buyer on time, saying that he had run out of money to pay for mailing it, and only got around to having his mother scrounge up the cash to do so after the buyer filed a Paypal dispute. He also lost his Etsy shop as a direct result of his poor work ethic.

==Pipe dreams==

{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous aspirations to work in creative industries. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

=== Official publication ===

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[Chris and art|art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in the case of "original" creations. In the case of original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with the right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common, though infrequent. ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics#Action Comics Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', an anthology which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title and monthly format. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]'', ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]'' and more recently ''[[wikipedia:The New 52: Future's End|The New 52: Future's End]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] and [[Wikipedia:Valve Time|Valve]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

On 14 [[August 2017]], Chris uploaded a [[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content|video]] where he updated the True and Loyal Fanbase on his progress on ''Sonichu'' #13, which he has re-numbered as ''Sonichu'' #12-9. He states that he decided to change the focus of the comic. Instead of being a crossover between the Sonichu gang and the [[Planet Dolan]] crew, it would instead be a fanfiction devoted to his pony avatar, [[Night Star]]. Throughout the video, he mentions how he not only wants the comic to be a piece of fanfiction, [[Chris and reality|but how he also wants it to be canon to ''My Little Pony'', where he himself would voice Night Star]]. Of course, Chris doesn't seem to realize that the creators of the show can't just simply pick up his idea because, as stated earlier, it may lead to an accusation of idea theft.

Yet another reason why the publishing industry wouldn't accept Sonichu in its current state is because of how [[Chris and writing|sloppily written]] and [[Chris and his ego|egocentric it is in tone]]. If a publisher somehow ''did'' agree to make Sonichu comics, they would more likely task other writers (not to mention artists) with actual talents to shape up the premise into something at least passable. Predictably enough, Chris would balk at lacking control over his life's work (and of course, anyone doing better than him).

===Games and merchandise===
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give an equal amount of thought on the countless ideas fans send them. While game companies may listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was that the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games take a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Surprisingly, in the [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]], then high schooler-aged Chris offered a (slightly) better description of how the three fictional Sonic game releases he hoped for would play out than his proposals for Sonichu games later on and even then, they're highly basic and unoriginal ideas (e.g. ''Super Mario 64'' with Sonic the Hedgehog as its playable character and ''Super Mario All-Stars'' with the four classic ''Sonic'' games originally for Sega Genesis).

Theoretically, it would be possible, though extraordinarily unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough to make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

To the surprise of no one, Chris has held onto dreams of Sonichu getting turned into a video game character well into [[November 2023]], when he posted a request to "personally" work with [[Nintendo]], offering them his OCs to be integrated into Pokémon canon<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Offering to work with Nintendo]]</ref>. Equally unsurprising is that Chris seems to be unaware (willfully or otherwise) that Nintendo has nothing to gain by granting fans' (ludicrous) desires for all the reasons mentioned here.

===In general===
An issue Chris would face in the industries he aspired to contribute towards is that mainstream publishers will not allow ''any'' pornographic material ([[Sonichu 8|which Chris had nonchalantly drawn into his supposedly kid-friendly comic]]), thus Chris would be forced to comply with a set of rules to make his magnum opus acceptable for the masses, and we all know how ''that'' would turn out.

By a similar token, both Nintendo and Sega would probably not allow [[Sonichu 10|the extreme violent]] [[Sonichu 8|and sexual imagery]] the comic didn't shy away from, especially since he considers Sonichu appropriate for kids (although he did imagine his [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles| Adult Chronicles]] to be rated M for [[Honest Content]]). And that's if they didn't reject it outright ''because of'' said imagery, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|not to mention Chris had drawn smut of his magnum opus himself in the past]] which could make a bad first impression on any reputable company approached to work with him.

Not to mention that Chris, being the egotist we know and love, would have to essentially hand over the rights for Sonichu to whichever company agrees to own his IP, meaning he would have no little to no say in how it plays out according to his whims.

If Chris actually ''were'' in a position of creative control, consider this; during the majority of time the [[CWCipedia]] was online, Chris acted as if he had free reign to dictate a site ''others made and hosted for him'', so letting him be head honcho of a comic or game production would be a colossal mistake. Needless to say, the [[Chris and stress|stress]] of working under him would lead some unfortunate writers/developers to quit and/or the higher-ups to [[Wendy's|eventually fire him]].

==The future of Chris and his business attempts==
After [[Affair With Mother|the life-changing incest scandal in the mid-summer of 2021]],[[Praetor]] successfully continued business with Chris, selling drawings he had made during incarceration and, since his release from jail, a further run of [[Medallions]] and other assorted junk, as well as setting up livestreams. As mentioned in the intro, these business ventures seem to be providing a steady stream of income for Chris, so much so that he was able to sink his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]] and finally become "employed" again.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris and work]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[DStecks]], a person who gave Chris $1,000 for more Sonichu pages.
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}
{{BusinessList}}

Chris and business

2026-07-17T04:51:20Z

FullNameUnknown: LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT HE IS RICH

{{Dated|Chris's business ventures following his release from [[Jail Saga|jail]]}}
{{Needs Updating|[[OfficialCWCmart]]|[[Cwclight]]|[[Cameo]]}}
{{quote|That is not my fault the frame got broke in transaction, the envelope was clearly marked “Fragile” and “Handle With Care”, and it was shipped well in a bubble envelope. Either you, being Trollish, or the Postal Carriers are to blame for the frame’s arriving condition.|An example of Chris's customer service skills<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220516025146/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1017880748009967618</ref>}}

[[File:Update 1 17 2016 (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris pictured at his "[[Work Room]]" in [[January 2016]]]]

Chris launched an online '''business''' in [[June 2014]], selling custom arts and crafts through [[eBay]]. A year later, he moved shop to [[Etsy]], under a brand titled "Cwcville Shopping". He also began selling printed copies of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on [[Lulu]]. He held a steady stream of customers, despite issues with production and sending orders on time. For a while, he had achieved his dream of selling his own Sonichu merchandise, and was making plenty of [[Chris and money|money]].

However, exactly two years and one week after the start of his business, on 8 [[June 2016]], Chris's [[Chris and work|infamous laziness]] caught up to him, and he was banned from Etsy for ignoring orders over a span of months beginning from when he bought a [[PS4]]. He did not take responsibility for the self-inflicted failure of his business. Instead, he lied to save face and cast blame on Lulu.com's staff for having stressed him out by labeling Sonichu as fan fiction and banning his account half a year beforehand in [[December 2016]] (even though he had actually ban-evaded by opening a private account and was back to offering books through Lulu's services only weeks later).

After the Etsy ban, Chris fell back on [[Financhu Crisis|begging]] and Paid Video Requests to cover [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s credit card bills and his expensive [[toy]] purchases. In [[May 2017]], he felt like returning to work on the Sonichu comic and, throughout the next several months, began to rebuild his business, using [[Patreon]], Lulu and [[Redbubble]], and accepting interviews for money. In [[November 2019]], Chris created a website called [[CWCville Shopping]] to sell cards and comics, though it only lasted a few months as Chris couldn't afford to pay the monthly fee to keep the site up.

In [[September 2020]], a [[fan]] named [[Caden Peck]] and Co went to Chris's house to propose a business partnership with their group [[Praetor]]. This allowed Chris to return to Etsy yet again with the opening of [[OfficialCWCmart]] in [[December 2020]]. Caden has expressed his interest in Chris's level of popularity in contrast to how little he capitalizes on it, and has taken note of Chris being [[Chris and stress|overwhelmed]] at his own attempts to do so, both of which being reasons why he decided to reach out to him himself.<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The Place Chats#Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref> Caden has claimed that no one else previously has been "smart enough" to be as successful as Praetor is with Chris.<ref>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref> In [[September 2024]], Chris created a website called [[Cwclight]] to sell various junk. After many years, Chris returned to making personalized video messages, joining the [[Cameo]] website in [[February 2026]].

Chris & Praetor seem to have been very successful with Chris, with his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy shop]] raking in an estimated $151,371 after Etsy fees. While it is almost guaranteed that most of the money is funneled back to Praetor and Caden, this seems to be a steady source of income for Chris and is assumedly how he is able to keep making frivolous purchases, along with how he is able to keep spoiling his little [[Finnish hearthrob|Flutter]].
==List of ventures by type==
===Storefronts===
{{main|eBay|Etsy}}
On 1 [[June 2014]], Chris began cashing in on his Internet infamy, by offering custom artwork for sale. He later expanded his sales to include autographed photos, medallions, custom Amiibos, and personal items related to Christory. This would be his most profitable and otherwise his most important commercial endeavour. Over the years, he would earn thousands of dollars by selling off Sonichu-themed memorabilia and sundries;<ref>Sales listings ([[2014-2015 Sales Listings|to 2015]], [[2016 Sales Listings|2016]], [[2017 Sales Listings|2017]], [[2018 Sales Listings|2018]], [[2019 Sales Listings|2019]])</ref> the largest financial contributions were often made by aspiring [[weens]] to establish contact with Chris and put themselves in a friendly position.<ref>[[Aly Hirschberg]]</ref><ref>[[Teen Troon Squad]]</ref><ref>[[Jacob Sockness]]</ref> He would not always fulfil his orders, however, and after receiving an abysmal 85% satisfaction rating through customer reviews, his merchant account was [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|suspended]] on 16 [[June 2019]]. Proposals to circumvent the ban through a partnership with [[Jacob Sockness]] were never implemented.

On 2 [[September 2015]], Chris expanded his online business to Etsy. He continued the same offerings from eBay and added a donation listing for the continuation of the Sonichu series. Days later, on 5 September, a YouTuber named [[DStecks]] donated $1,000, thinking that Chris would deliver 100 pages of Sonichu. Instead, Chris completed 16 pages before dropping the project. This move remains controversial with Christorians, as while some believe that he honestly wanted [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] to continue, others argue that this [[ween|weenish]] move validated begging in Chris's eyes, as seen with the influx of begging videos in the [[Financhu Crisis]]. In addition to DStecks, dozens of fans had also donated. Chris simply claimed that he was too stressed to continue ''Sonichu'' #11<ref>[[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Bleeding Autism]]</ref>.

However, Chris still had a passion for making custom [[Amiibo]]s for several months afterwards; he took it seriously enough that he was willing to [[Ohio trip|drive hundreds of miles]] through Virginia just to buy parts for Amiibos to sell on Etsy.<ref>[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]</ref> He wasted hundreds of dollars buying up Amiibos on eBay, thinking that the market for his custom figures would sustain itself indefinitely. This was not the case. and Chris eventually grew apathetic and bored with earning his own money. To complicate things further, Chris purchased a [[PS4]] in [[March 2016]]. The new life upgrade proved too distracting, and he ignored Etsy orders, often for months. Ultimately, Etsy took notice and banned his store from doing business.

===Self-publishing===
{{main|Lulu|Redbubble}}

Chris took over a decade to try any self-publishing channels. [[Clyde Cash]] beat him to the punch by posting Chris's comics on Lulu.com. Chris simply retorted by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails from 2010]], Chris claimed that he was working on fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task, and he eventually dropped the project. Undaunted, Chris began selling printed copies of the Sonichu comic on Lulu.com in [[September 2015]],<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Now Chris is on Lulu]]</ref> as well as offering autographed versions through Etsy (by ordering the comics from Lulu, signing them, then shipping to the buyers).

In [[December 2015]], Chris was banned from Lulu for selling [[Sonichu (comic)|fan fiction]].<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Account Suspended]]</ref> In true Chris fashion, he responded by threatening Lulu's executives with physical violence,<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Threatening Lulu's Executives]]</ref> despite the fact that he was on probation for [[26 December 2014|an act of violence]] against a GameStop employee. Chris was able to continue selling comics in [[January 2016]],<ref>https://archive.md/p0WVk</ref> probably rejoining Lulu under an alternate account. He was discovered within a few months, and again his account was shut down.

Deprived of other reliable avenues, Chris has torpidly sought other ways to sell his own works. He opened a shop on Redbubble, an online shopping company where users can sell custom-printed items based on images of the seller's choice, on 3 [[October 2017]], selling pictures of himself pre-[[Tomgirl]] and drawings of himself on framed pictures, pillows, and miniskirts, among others. Much later, on 23 [[November 2019]], the spiritual successor to Chris's Etsy opened as a new Web site of the same name: [[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]. Here, Chris would offer his [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|handmade trading cards]] for a ''[[My Little Pony]]''-themed game at extreme prices.

===Commissioning===
{{main|Paid Video Requests|Patreon|Cameo|OfficialCWCmart commissions}}
In December 2015, [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|'''the singularity''']] happened. On Etsy, Chris offered to create a personalized video message for anyone who paid $50. Many of his fans took him up on the offer, thinking they could become [[Weening|a part of Christory]] by simply handing their money over to him. He received four sales within the first three days,<ref>[[:File:Etsy unlisted videos.jpg]]</ref> although those customers opted for their videos to be unlisted. A few people also chose public videos for their birthday shoutouts.<ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday, Jonathan]]</ref> After losing his Etsy shop, Chris continued offering video requests through text messages.<ref>[[Update 20160718]]</ref>

The videos Chris delivers are characterized by:

*Laziness. He has often been late on delivering, missing deadlines for birthday greetings, despite having an abundance of free time.<ref>[[Happy Birthday, Martin.]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref>

*Sloppiness. Chris chooses not to edit his takes or look presentable. He has delivered a video featuring an upskirt shot of his maxipad.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]</ref>

*Explicitly stating that the content is boring. In many videos, Chris has mentioned his low opinion of his customers, saying things like "Eh, whatever" and "Wow, that's crazy, that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. Whatever", while rolling his eyes.<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter]]</ref><ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]</ref>

*Filling up paid content time with drivel or off-topic rambling,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Happy Birthday Tom]]</ref> despite the fact that his videos are advertised as "around a minute in length, on average, but can be longer in time length".<ref>[[Etsy#Custom, Birthday, Holiday, or General, Greeting Video featuring Christine Weston Chandler]]</ref>

In spite of these issues, he has a continuing stream of customers. A Kiwi Farms user named Vanillacone, summed up the mindset of the lot with his review of [[Happy Birthday, Jonathan|the $50 paid video he ordered from Chris]] (which consisted of him being late, babbling to fill up time, failing to spell the recipient's name correctly and delivering a video 39 seconds long out of the minimum one minute):

{{quotebox|To be honest, I got what I expected out of the video, and money well spent in my opinion.}}

Chris joined Patreon on 30 [[November 2016]] as a response to pressure from the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He initially set it up to beg for money, claiming that he would produce more Sonichu comics if his fans paid off his mortgage and bills – he was met with low support levels, generally below $40 per month. This suddenly changed around [[June 2017]]. Picking up momentum from resuming the Sonichu comic of his own volition in May, he revamped his Patreon to offer more reasonable support tiers for fans. He has enjoyed a significant uptick in support due to his continued work on the comic, earning around $500-600 per month. As his interest in his own comic has abated, and new pages more rarely released, patron support has shrivelled to about a third of its peak. Reforming his backer awards by distinguishing different ''[[Chris and English|teirs]]'' for every dollar level given have not improved his steady decline in support.

===Miscellaneous affairs===
{{main|Sonichu Entertainment of America}}
In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate Chris's belief that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value. Three years later, in [[April 2019]], ''Sonichu Entertainment of America'' was noted by Google Maps, prompting Chris to laud his company as legitimate in a video, though it would see no further activity.

On 24 [[November 2016]], Chris asked his audience to watch a clip of him playing ''[[Skylanders]]'', by uploading [[CWC vs Koas]], in order to promote the idea of selling his [[Chris and his Ego#Fixation on self-image|in-game figure]] to them using the game's [https://www.skylanders.com/creator Skylanders Creation app]. He would charge "$20 extra" for his autograph. He also said "I am not sharing my creation app chirp", since this would allow people to order directly from Skylanders and cut off Chris's goal of [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Chris Chan Amiibo Complete Three Piece Set (from Original Creator)|profiting from his self-image]].<ref>https://archive.md/fhBJ2</ref> On 12 January 2017, Chris uploaded [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]] as a half-hour advertisement video, showing off multiple ''Skylanders'' products he had ordered, a $15 card, a $30 T-shirt and a $50 3D-doll, all emblazoned with his avatar image, [[Financhu Crisis|totaling at least $90]].

[[File:Skylanders swag.png|thumb|The ''Skylanders'' raffle prizes, featuring images of Chris's custom game avatar.]]
Chris's largest business failure to date followed soon after. Various ''Skylanders'' avatar products and a Son-Chu figure were announced as prizes for a raffle Chris conceived<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Raffle for new merch]]</ref> to push sales of his [[stamps]], slated to run from 27 March through [[Honor roll|31 April]] 2017. The cost of entry was buying one of Bob's stamps or Chris's stamp album on eBay, with a limit of one entry per buyer. Initially, Chris announced that the winner would receive a [[Son-Chu]] figure and a ''Skylanders'' figure, and 15 runners-up would each receive a ''Skylanders'' card. A week later, he added ''more'' prizes to the mix: ''Skylanders'' T-shirts.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Another gimmick for stamp sales]]</ref>

[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|250px|thumb|left]]
Chris seemed to be banking on the $1,000 album selling, as it was the only scenario in which he could have shown a profit from the raffle – he promised an automatic win of a set of all three prizes. His expenditure for the raffle prizes totalled '''$840'''.<ref>He confirmed ordering $750 of Skylanders cards/T-shirts in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]. After the raffle, Chris mentioned [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017|in a video]] that he still needed to order the Skylanders figure and parts to make Son-Chu (estimated at $40).</ref> No one bought the album, and less than 15 people participated in the raffle (although a mass buyer had purchased 18 stamps). He was left with a '''negative profit of $674.24'''.<ref>[[Stamps#Raffle]]</ref>

In [[December 2020]], Chris teamed up with [[Praetor]] to produce more Sonichu [[medallions]]. The medallions are not created by Chris, but he (supposedly) oversees the design and production of the medallions. The medallions are of noticeably worse quality than those created by Chris, but that hasn't stopped the team from selling over 130 medallions as of 14 December 2020. The jointly-owned [[Etsy]] page can be found [https://www.etsy.com/shop/OfficialCWCmart here].

By [[May 2022]], the partnership with Praetor extended to [[Praetor Jail Art|selling monochrome artwork Chris had drawn whilst jailed]]. Naturally, given the [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|newer delusions Chris had begun to machinate shortly after ending up behind bars]], these drawings primarily center around his pseudo-religion.

{{clear}}

===Abortive ventures===
In [[November 2015]], Chris announced that he would be setting up a shop on '''Zazzle.com'''.<ref>[[Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology.]]</ref> He mentioned it again half a year later, in June 2016.<ref>[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]]</ref> No progress was made, and to this day, Chris has never opened a Zazzle shop. Why he dragged his feet so much is unknown: Zazzle takes care of manufacturing and shipping, and there are no startup costs. All he would have to do is take some Sonichu drawings and upload them.

In [[October 2017]], amid being the subject of '''interviews''' by [[Merryweathery]], [[Documentary|Sachumo]] and [[CopperCab]], Chris announced that he was open to being a guest on more interviews for payment<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_tweets#Accepting_paid_interviews</ref>. Although he didn't specify his going rate, Merryweathery mentioned that Chris had asked him for $200<ref>https://archive.md/r6gWI</ref>. He has since given interviews for free,<ref>[[Pappy Van Poodle Interview]]</ref> taking the bend out of this potential scheme (although it seems that he was paid for [[The Create Unknown]] interview in [[October 2020]]).

==Customers and their reasons for buying==
{{see also|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

{{quote|a piece of valuable Internet culture|A potential buyer on Chris's comics.}}

[[File:Potential customers.png|thumb|200px|Potential customers mull over buying Chris's comics on [[Patreon]].]]

While many who follow Chris refuse to give him money and shun those who do, buyers seem to regard Chris memorabilia as pieces of internet culture that might become valuable over time. A February 2019 video in which a customer unboxed a [[Sonichu 0]] comic printed from [[Lulu]] attracted over 100,000 views, and many commentators expressed a desire to buy for themselves.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5G5U-eLzEg</ref> Ironically, the resulting bump in Chris's Patreon gave him so many orders to fulfill that he crashed into slumber and simply ignored the backlog of orders.

==Ad revenue==

When he was uploading his ''Sonichu'' comic pages to the [[CWCipedia]] in 2009, the thought of monetizing his web comic didn't cross his mind. People had been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' – the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

In [[2016]], Chris monetized his YouTube channel<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube monetization]]</ref> and added a Support button<ref>[[Chris and money#YouTube Support button]]</ref> (ostensibly to accept donations for Sonichu projects, even though he didn't want to work on that, and for a year, YouTube simply became another place from which he could beg for money).

It took a while for Chris to try drawing on-camera in [[Live Drawing Streams]], and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often and has done an extremely poor job of it. He simply sits in front of his [[PS4]] camera, which is hard-coded to only record in flipped mirror mode, and is positioned so that viewers see an upside-down video set at a dizzying angle.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content''.)

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional web cartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[Autism|autistic]] mind.

The same mindset also pervades every other aspect of his business, namely that Chris will procrastinate on shipping orders. A key example is how he almost fucked up the [[Sonic Totem]] sale - he received $1,500 for it, immediately wasted much of his profit on [[$400 gold necklace|bling]] and failed to ship it to the buyer on time, saying that he had run out of money to pay for mailing it, and only got around to having his mother scrounge up the cash to do so after the buyer filed a Paypal dispute. He also lost his Etsy shop as a direct result of his poor work ethic.

==Pipe dreams==

{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous aspirations to work in creative industries. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

=== Official publication ===

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[Chris and art|art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in the case of "original" creations. In the case of original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with the right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common, though infrequent. ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics#Action Comics Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', an anthology which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title and monthly format. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]'', ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]'' and more recently ''[[wikipedia:The New 52: Future's End|The New 52: Future's End]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] and [[Wikipedia:Valve Time|Valve]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

On 14 [[August 2017]], Chris uploaded a [[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content|video]] where he updated the True and Loyal Fanbase on his progress on ''Sonichu'' #13, which he has re-numbered as ''Sonichu'' #12-9. He states that he decided to change the focus of the comic. Instead of being a crossover between the Sonichu gang and the [[Planet Dolan]] crew, it would instead be a fanfiction devoted to his pony avatar, [[Night Star]]. Throughout the video, he mentions how he not only wants the comic to be a piece of fanfiction, [[Chris and reality|but how he also wants it to be canon to ''My Little Pony'', where he himself would voice Night Star]]. Of course, Chris doesn't seem to realize that the creators of the show can't just simply pick up his idea because, as stated earlier, it may lead to an accusation of idea theft.

Yet another reason why the publishing industry wouldn't accept Sonichu in its current state is because of how [[Chris and writing|sloppily written]] and [[Chris and his ego|egocentric it is in tone]]. If a publisher somehow ''did'' agree to make Sonichu comics, they would more likely task other writers (not to mention artists) with actual talents to shape up the premise into something at least passable. Predictably enough, Chris would balk at lacking control over his life's work (and of course, anyone doing better than him).

===Games and merchandise===
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give an equal amount of thought on the countless ideas fans send them. While game companies may listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was that the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games take a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Surprisingly, in the [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]], then high schooler-aged Chris offered a (slightly) better description of how the three fictional Sonic game releases he hoped for would play out than his proposals for Sonichu games later on and even then, they're highly basic and unoriginal ideas (e.g. ''Super Mario 64'' with Sonic the Hedgehog as its playable character and ''Super Mario All-Stars'' with the four classic ''Sonic'' games originally for Sega Genesis).

Theoretically, it would be possible, though extraordinarily unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough to make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

To the surprise of no one, Chris has held onto dreams of Sonichu getting turned into a video game character well into [[November 2023]], when he posted a request to "personally" work with [[Nintendo]], offering them his OCs to be integrated into Pokémon canon<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Offering to work with Nintendo]]</ref>. Equally unsurprising is that Chris seems to be unaware (willfully or otherwise) that Nintendo has nothing to gain by granting fans' (ludicrous) desires for all the reasons mentioned here.

===In general===
An issue Chris would face in the industries he aspired to contribute towards is that mainstream publishers will not allow ''any'' pornographic material ([[Sonichu 8|which Chris had nonchalantly drawn into his supposedly kid-friendly comic]]), thus Chris would be forced to comply with a set of rules to make his magnum opus acceptable for the masses, and we all know how ''that'' would turn out.

By a similar token, both Nintendo and Sega would probably not allow [[Sonichu 10|the extreme violent]] [[Sonichu 8|and sexual imagery]] the comic didn't shy away from, especially since he considers Sonichu appropriate for kids (although he did imagine his [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles| Adult Chronicles]] to be rated M for [[Honest Content]]). And that's if they didn't reject it outright ''because of'' said imagery, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|not to mention Chris had drawn smut of his magnum opus himself in the past]] which could make a bad first impression on any reputable company approached to work with him.

Not to mention that Chris, being the egotist we know and love, would have to essentially hand over the rights for Sonichu to whichever company agrees to own his IP, meaning he would have no little to no say in how it plays out according to his whims.

If Chris actually ''were'' in a position of creative control, consider this; during the majority of time the [[CWCipedia]] was online, Chris acted as if he had free reign to dictate a site ''others made and hosted for him'', so letting him be head honcho of a comic or game production would be a colossal mistake. Needless to say, the [[Chris and stress|stress]] of working under him would lead some unfortunate writers/developers to quit and/or the higher-ups to [[Wendy's|eventually fire him]].

==The future of Chris and his business attempts==
After [[Affair With Mother|the life-changing incest scandal in the mid-summer of 2021]],[[Praetor]] successfully continued business with Chris, selling drawings he had made during incarceration and, since his release from jail, a further run of [[Medallions]] and other assorted junk, as well as setting up livestreams. As mentioned in the intro, these business ventures seem to be providing a steady stream of income for Chris, so much so that he was able to sink his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]] and finally become "employed" again.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris and work]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[DStecks]], a person who gave Chris $1,000 for more Sonichu pages.
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}
{{BusinessList}}

Chris and money

2026-07-17T04:30:01Z

FullNameUnknown: /* But wait, Chris isn't employed! */

{{Dated}}
{{Needs Updating|[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|I'd call a tow truck, but now I have less than $20 between the bank accounts and PayPal.|Chris, after his car broke down on the way home from BronyCon.<ref>[[Waiting for the tow truck]]</ref>}}

{{quote|He's [[Mathematics|not good at math]] when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others<ref>[[:File:Piss_and_burn_fb.PNG]]</ref> to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

As of [[November 2016]], Chris lists the dumbest thing he's ever spent money on as the $11 cake he ruined in [[Cakefarts]].<ref>[[Reddit#Dumbest thing ever spent money on (15 November 2016)]]</ref>

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
:''Further reading: [[Chris and work]]''
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "[[tugboat]]" that he received from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, the payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. After Bob's death, Chris was given a survivor's benefit – increasing the amount to $1,300 per month and making his annual income $15,600. Barb's income, from Social Security and a pension, is around $1,200 per month or $14,400 per year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref> As of 2023, it is very likely that he has ''stopped'' recieving his tugboat, as his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy venture]] (along with all of his other joint ventures with Praetor) is making much more than the monthly income limit set by the SSA.<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref>

Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> The rest of the tugboat generally went towards [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[McDonald's|junk food]], or [[sex toys|other frivolous purchases]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) was (and is) nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for electronic entertainment, pornography, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had fewer than $3 left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red. How much he got to keep later on isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on frivolous things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]] and weekly lottery tickets.<ref name=J12>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age – not in Chris's case, apparently.

In [[September 2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By", making it clear that the family income dipped after Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1,000 in game purchases on ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out''.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>

Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about the family's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, you would think most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris. Unfortunately, many more still purchase from Chris on a daily basis.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale (at exorbitant prices), Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate. He also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both.

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions in the last 4.5 years,<ref>https://archive.md/zibG2</ref> a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st-party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

In [[July 2016]], a field agent provided the following account of Chris, in a painfully awkward situation where he did not have enough cash to pay for his junk food at a gas station:<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Short on Cash]]</ref>

{{quotebox|My friend walks into a gas station/convenience store on the northern edge of Charlottesville.
Chris is trying to buy $7 or so of junk food type stuff, but he only has $5 in cash.
The cashier tries to make understand he owes $2 more. Chris seems to understand, but is slow to process what to do about it.
My friend who is second in line, picks out two ones, says "here you go" and puts them on the counter.
Chris, it seems more out of stupidity and confusion than malice, picks up the $2 and his purchases and makes to leave.
My friend and the cashier, both object and yell that he has to leave the $2 with the cashier.
Chris doesn't seem to react.
A dude who was behind both of them in line is between Chris and the door. As Chris passes him, he taps him to get his attention, and says something like "Hey buddy ..."
Chris makes a get-away-from-me hand wavy gesture without looking at any of the three of them, and fairly loudly says "It's Miss!" and hurries out the door.
Chris continues to his car in a half run, half walk, as all three of the people in the store watch confused and amused.
Chris pulls out of the parking spot, but for some reason heads towards the back of the lot, where there is no exit.
As Chris gets to the back of the lot, he stops, backs up a few feet, tries to turn the car around, doesn't make it, backs up again, and finally gets around. Essentially making a 5 point turn in a fairly large empty parking lot.
Chris drives past the store again not looking inside, and finally drives off.}}

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

===Chris's parental enabling===
If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that [[Chris and remorse|Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else)]] by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Get-Tar Region|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[Autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Fan funding===
{{main|List of Chris's financial enablers}}

===Chris's beliefs===
[[File:Chris's economic theories.jpeg|thumb|right|A meme explaining why Chris doesn't get capitalism or government.]]
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic conviction]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. While Chris mocked [[Lars]]’s habit of buying and collecting [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|model boats and addons for them]] after learning about it from [[Jackie]], he failed to realise that Lars’s supposed habit was directly parodying his obsessive purchasing and hoarding of video games and DLC, even for games that he didn’t own. His mother has served as a bad influence regarding Chris’s beliefs in material goods, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

On 16 [[May 2019]], Chris tweeted a screenshot of an NBC story about how "Ex-EPA chief Scott Pruitt spent nearly $124,000 on 'excessive airfare'." Chris then showed off his complex views on the U.S. economy by saying... {{quotebox|Hey, Everyone. Here’s a Think Piece: firstly, if people didn’t overspend so much, then there would be more money to give to charities around the world. And then that brought to mind that if things had not gone up in price (I Know About Inflation and that More Money has been officially printed and distributed over the decades), there would be more to freely give to those unfortunate. “Why, Back in the day, we used to pay a Nickel for a Hershey Bar. A Nickle [sic]! Now, it’s a dollar, dollar-fiddy; we could be using that $1.45 to feed the hungry everywhere. But, Everyone got greedy for the green and don’t appreciate it as much. A Nickel.” Yep, Grandpa, people have done goofed with inflation and crap. 😔}}<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts#Chris has complex economic views]]</ref>

===After the house fire===
On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burned down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Some of his fans pooled their funds to send him a care package, with a money order for $500.<ref>[[Destruction Of Chris's House#Aftermath and reaction]]</ref>

Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of having a rainy day fund. Unfortunately, not even ''that'' has broken Chris's thick skull; throughout 2014, he wasted '''$5,000''' on ''Lego sets''.<ref>[[Lego#Addiction and Financial Ruin]]</ref><ref>[[May 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

==Barb's toxic influence==
According to a troll with insider info, Chris was able to manage his own finances to a rudimentary degree, even after Bob passed away,<ref>https://archive.md/jt1fU</ref> although he still has an issue with not saving money for [[2014 house fire|potential emergencies]].

The troll also asserted that Chris's financial hardships are caused, in most part, by [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] helping herself to Chris's monetary accounts in order to attempt paying her out-of-control debts.<ref>https://archive.md/jt1fU</ref>

{{quotebox|Barb is the one who has serious debt. She fucks up Chris' budgeting by erratically taking money from Chris' account when she needs it, generally without warning.

There are two types of Chris begging videos. One is when Chris wants a bit extra for some legos. You can identify those videos by how vague Chris' requests are, and how relaxed Chris is in the video. Chris isn't in meltdown mode in those videos.

Now, the other type of video is when Barb tried to snatch some money from Chris and Chris doesn't have anything for her. You can identify those videos by how freaked out Chris looks. He's visibly distressed and he's citing specific bills he's got to pay, usually things that seem un-Chris-like. That's when Barb is freaking out at him for not having enough money to pay her debts.

The thing is, the perception is that Chris is bad with money. He's not bad with money (as far as monthly budgeting goes). Despite how foggy Chris' head is, he's got enough memory to recognize patterns in bills over the course of a few months. He knows he's gotta pay electricity bills and rent and things like that. And he does do the math each month about what bills he's got to pay, and how much that leaves him for Legos and food. You can't trust his begging. He begs because he wants more money, not because he's in any financial straits (that is, not including Barb).

He lives cheaply as shit. He saves money by buying dollar store shit. He's the type of person to buy single ply toilet paper at the dollar store. But sometimes he'll splurge and treat himself to things, like alcohol. He does this all while meeting his obligations, like his minimum payments and his bills.}}

Information from Cousin Al<ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> revealed that Chris and Barb '''had''' an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars". However, Barb spent all of it on hiring Rob Bell to defend herself (...and Chris) from legal charges incurred after [[28 October 2011|the two of them hit Michael Snyder with a car]]. It should be noted that a state-provided attorney would have been free and yielded the same result (pleading guilty), for the case was so cut-and-dry that even a lawyer of Bell's caliber had no chance of winning it.

In November 2014, Chris revealed to Renee that Barb was borrowing money from his life insurance.<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Barb is borrowing from Chris's life insurance]]</ref>

Although [[Null_DMs#Chris_takes_money_from_Barb|in a Kiwi Farms post]], in the wake of the bombshell that [[Affair with Mother|Chris had been in a sexual relationship with Barb]], [[Null]] revealed that Chris nonchalantly stated in their final conversation with each other that ''he'' had control of her bank account by then (which allowed him to swipe $750). That said, it's unknown whether or not Barb actually used to exploit his finances before the roles eventually switched at some point (not to mention, if so, ''when'').

===Bank lawsuits against Barb===
In 2016, two banks, Discovery and Capital One, sued Barb for not paying '''over $20,000 total''' in debts, leaving the Chandlers ''even further'' in financial turmoil.

Barb herself appeared in multiple videos in 2016-17, trying to [[Chris and manipulation|scam people]] into donating to her.

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]
*[[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE]]

In the first two videos, Barb claimed not to have enough money for asthma medication, and in the third, she claimed to need money for dental work.

If Barb actually needed money for an emergency, she could simply have instructed Chris to sell some of their possessions. In the videos, Chris's toys and Barb's hoard are clearly visible behind them.

==Debt==
{{main|Debt}}
==Subscription services==
Chris has been subscribed to various services over the years. These include Clip Studio,<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Chris gets an iPad]]</ref> Crystal Council,<ref>[[April 2021 social media posts#Crystal Council]]</ref> Disney+,<ref>[[The Place chats (December 2019)#Priorities]]</ref><ref>[[The Place chats (December 2020)#The Avatar State]]</ref> HBO Max,<ref>[[The Place chats (February 2021)#Vaughn, HBO Max, and Sockness]]</ref> [[Patreon]], and Tokyo Treat.<ref>[[October 2017 tweets#Tokyo Treat]]</ref><ref>[[May 2019 social media posts#Chris Spends More Money]]</ref><ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Tentacle grape]]</ref>

==Money-Making Schemes==
===Wheeling and Dealing===
Also known as {{w|return fraud}}. In 2010, Chris described buying video games from one store for a lower cost, then exchanging them for a higher amount of store credit at another store.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref>

===Lottery===
Chris considers the lottery to be ''an investment'', and not a form of gambling in reality. In September 2010, he told Jackie the following:<ref name=J12/>

{{quotebox|I invest $4 weekly between Win For Life and Mega Millions; two plays each.}}

Cash4Life and Mega Millions currently costs $2 per play (as of 29 March 2021),<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210329061252/https://www.valottery.com/data/draw-games/megamillions Mega Millions] and [https://web.archive.org/web/20210329061444/https://www.valottery.com/data/draw-games/cash4life Win For Life] descriptions on the official site of Virginia Lottery, accessed 29 March 2021.</ref> meaning that if Chris stopped playing the lottery, he would save around $416 per year.

===Craigslist===
[[File:Chris chan bmw.jpg|thumb|right|The Craigslist ad.]]
{{main|Craigslist}}
In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year-old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW z3 for sale. The 1999 BMW z3 is currently listed on the Roanoke Craigslist for $10,000 OBO. Kelley Blue Book estimates the car with 70,000 miles and in a fair condition is worth $4,318. Chris describes the car as "Mint condition Z3 model. Like a go-cart with rocket power. Seriously fun to drive 5 speed and pure joy with the top down. Color is jet black."

===Pawn shops===
{{main|List of Chris's video games#Chris (barely) lets go}}

Chris occasionally visits pawn shops or similar businesses, among them Snooky's Pawn Shop, [[GameStop]] and Plan 9 Music, to sell his old toys and video games so that he can afford new ones.

===eBay===
{{main|eBay}}
Chris has long used eBay to sell bits of his toy hoard. He doesn’t put much effort into researching prices, and often lists items at vastly inflated prices. In August 2016, he listed a used VHS of ''Aladdin'' with a 'Buy it Now' price of '''$3,000'''. There were no (legitimate) takers, probably because one can buy the same edition on Amazon for ''one penny'' (plus shipping, but still).

In June 2019, Chris’s account [[EBay#Suspension_of_Chris's_eBay|was restricted]], and all of the active listings were removed. Two reasons for the restriction against Chris are possible: either his seller approval rating was abysmal (84.7% on 21 June 2019),<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20190621113537/https://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=pristinechristine1982&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true&rt=nc Wayback Machine’s snapshot] of pristinechristine1982’s eBay feedback, archived and accessed 21 June 2019.</ref> or that his PayPal account was in the red.

===CWCville Shopping===
{{main|Chris and business}}
From 2014-2016, Chris sold custom arts and crafts, finally monetizing Sonichu, through [[eBay]], [[Etsy]] and [[Lulu]], before losing his business due to [[PS4|stress]].

===Kickstarter===
{{main|Kickstarter}}
On 23 September 2014, Chris opened a Kickstarter project, asking for $5,000 to build the CWCville shopping mall out of LEGO. At the end of the campaign, Chris raised just $150 from 27 backers, causing the campaign to fail and Chris never seeing the money.

===YouTube monetization===
Chris has monetized most of the videos which appear on his YouTube channel, as another way of [[Etsy|profiting]] from his internet infamy. As further proof of Chris's entitlement issues, [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] discovered that at one point around [[March 2016]], Chris received $80 and was "pissed" that he hadn't gotten more.<ref>https://archive.md/pJZj4</ref>

{{quotebox|This is going to become a pattern. Chris is going to do one of his 'Let's Plays' followed by an e-begging video and then polish it off by purchasing some dumb thing he doesn't need in excess of fifty bucks. He knows how this system works and it's the greatest amount of payoff with the least amount of work; the first time when Chris played Destiny he made 80$ from Youtube(And was surprisingly pissed it was that small, fuck that, I want eighty bucks from Youtube). Then he makes a video whining about how he needs more money and lo and behold, he gets even more~! If anything people are contributing to his float and that convinces him he can get away with being frivolous that much more. }}

Social Blade estimates that as of 12 December 2019, Chris could earn between $245 and $3,900 per year,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20191212192942/https://socialblade.com/youtube/user/cwcvilleguardian Social Blade]</ref> but there are many factors, such as Content ID claims, that make it very difficult to estimate the true value of any YouTube channel.

===Let’s Plays===
In [[March 2016]], [[CatKnight Interview|Arthur Spatchcock]] introduced Chris to the idea of doing Let's Plays to boost his online activity and help him gain some money through YouTube's monetization program<ref>https://archive.md/e0D8M</ref><ref>https://archive.md/pJZj4</ref>. The plan fell apart after Let's Plays of ''[[CWC's Destiny start|Destiny]]'' and ''[[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|Uncharted]]'', since by that point, Chris was [[Chris and Health|too lazy]] to play video games for money, and he simply wanted to [[Financhu Crisis|beg from his audience]] instead.

===YouTube Support button===
On 23 May 2016, Chris [[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|announced]] the debut of a Support button on his YouTube channel to replace the Etsy donation listing (which was forcibly removed due to it violating Etsy's TOS). He apparently got this idea from [[William Elliott Waterman]].<ref>[[https://archive.md/2ksJJ]]</ref>

===Paypal.me===
Announced on 11 [[May 2017]].

{{quotebox|Cwcville Shopping I am the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, with more than eleven comic books worth of content under my helm. Please donate to help me quell my financial problems that quell my creativity. Ruckersville, VA}}

===Prostitution===
On 19 June 2016, aka Father’s Day, Chris decided to become [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|a prostitute]].

He has yet to receive any takers.

===Begging===
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}
[[File:Please, Donate (720p).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, proving he has zero self-awareness]]
One of the earliest instances of Chris e-begging for money was in [[9 December 2009|December of 2009]]. Chris exhorted his alleged European [[Trolls|fanbase]] to donate €1,000 in order to remove troll ads from the CWCipedia.

In 2014, after his house [[Destruction Of Chris's House|caught fire]], Chris again resorted to e-begging for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest.

In 2016, Chris's e-begging drastically increased, as a result of the Chandlers' stubborn refusal to live within their means. That year saw Chris spend over $1,000 on toys, while both Chris and Barb had court cases resolved which penalized them with steep costs. In addition, Barb joined in to the begging, appearing in three videos so far.<ref>[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]</ref><ref>[[Donations Requested, Please]]</ref><ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref>

He asked for donations, or at least mentioned them, in many of the posts and videos he made in 2015 through 2016. At first, this was supposedly to fund his production of Sonichu merchandise, but he later shifted to saying that he and Barb needed help with paying the bills and buying groceries. While it's entirely possible that Chris was simply lying to get more money for [[Lego|useless]] [[Video games|crap]], this indicates that the financial hardships, which [[White knights|many]] [[Trolls|people]] have warned him about, have finally arrived. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude and inaction, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.

=== Theft ===
[[File:BoA alert 1 Aug 2021.png|thumb|Null leaks a screenshot of Chris's bank notifying him he has $1.03 left in his account.]]

Chris has a history of indulging in five-finger discounts that he attempts to keep secret from prying eyes. As far back as 2009, if not before, Chris would steal increasingly larger sums of money from his mother's purse for personal use, and use both of his parents' credit cards to finance his gaming addiction as revealed by the [[Ivy Q&A]]. Despite Chris insisting that this behaviour was 'in the past', he would engage in it with apparent reckless abandon regardless, stopping only when forced to after Barb discovered just how much he had purloined. Years later, Chris would rob his mother again - [[Affair with Mother|in much darker and far more damning circumstances]].

On 30 [[July 2021]], after Chris was served an [[Emergency Protective Order]] temporarily forbidding him from his home, he stole $750 from Barb's bank account. Some of this money was spent immediately - Chris' bank account was 200 dollars in debt. Much of what remained was spent on lodging in [[Regency Inn Richmond]], and the leftover money was swiftly spent on what can be assumed to be assorted frivolities and food. ''Two days'' after this money was withdrawn, [[Null]] - who at that point could still view the emails from Chris's bank - posted an image of a low balance notice from Chris's Bank of America account on the [[Kiwi Farms]], confirming that Chris had $1.03 remaining in his account.

In a letter he relayed to Null a couple of months later, he claims to have sent his $150 Patreon payout back to Barb, as compensation for stealing the money.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>

This is predictably a [[lie]] since not only did Chris's Patreon get shut down very quickly after the leaks were made, but even if it wasn't, Chris would be forced to wait until the next Monday due to their pay-out waiting period of 1-3 business days (something that Chris himself acknowledges in the same letter).

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]

{{quote| What the? What the fuck is a C-quarter? What the fuck is a W-quarter? [[Chris and writing|Nobody explained any of this to me!]]|Brendaniel upon discovering CWCville's weird currency <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqdrsvDobY&list=PLpNAl5zLZSMUI3klvTpy2Xdqa7B9bim3h&index=36</ref>}}

In [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]], it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

While legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of {{w|community service}} to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' {{w|North Korea}}.

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. However, it has been somewhat common for companies, communities and local governments to issue localized currency known as 'scrip', a depression era practice still seen from time to time. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class likely is wholly unaware of this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American {{w|Social Security (United States)|Social Security}} system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea.}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==
[[File:Kiwi Farms silver coin photo.jpg|thumb|200px|In 2021, Chris was placed ''on'' money, in the form of [[Kiwi Farms silver coin|a non-legal tender commemorative silver coin]] minted for the [[Kiwi Farms]], and featuring Chris's likeness for a 2021 merch run. These coins received additional attention following Chris's [[Affair with Mother|legal troubles]] that same year.]]
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of {{w|24 (TV Series)|''24''}}. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. He said the prostitute then hung up on him.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

==Post-Jail==
On 27 [[March 2023]], Chris would be released from jail by "[[Jail Saga#Bonded out or Released by court order|court order]]". In the months that followed, he would be [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|spotted]] numerous times in [[Mal-Wart|Wal-mart]] and various other stores purchasing frivolous items. Money obviously had to come from somewhere if he was able to purchase [[Chris and nutrition|junk food]], crystals, a [[Nintendo|Nintendo Switch]], and even another car.

There was speculation as to how Chris had the money to begin with.
*The group home Chris resided at may have given him an allowance for necessities.
*Money could have come from [[Praetor]]'s sales.
*If the tugboat was suspended, Chris may have reactivated it upon release, albeit with some help on account of his laziness.
*If the tugboat was not suspended, it may have accumulated during Chris's stay in jail, which could explain how he could afford expensive purchases such as gaming consoles and a car.

Either way, it seems Chris has not changed and continues his poor money management as he did before the arrest. It will only be a matter of time before he spends all his money and will resort to begging again.

==Conclusion==
Given Chris's longtime, carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. A past conversation with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household,<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref> and his plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] would have [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|never worked to begin with]].

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and work]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Financhu Crisis]]
*[[Lego]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Money}}

Monthly tugboat

2026-07-17T04:12:37Z

FullNameUnknown: Making some slight changes to make the article more consistent

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|it's a [[Asperchu|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink]]. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary [sic] Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|thumb|Tugboat, exciting and new! 
Come aboard, we're expecting you.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is (or was) deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm</ref> SSDI is a U.S. program to support financially those whose physical or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental disability]] prevents them from holding a job. It is a form of insurance funded by payroll taxes. Workers who have paid into the system for a numbers of years can qualify to receive benefits if they, or their children, become disabled.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10026.pdf Benefits for Children with Disabilities], Page 7.</ref>

Since [[Bob Chandler]] paid into the program during his years at General Electric, Chris is entitled to receive benefits. As long as Chris earns less than $1670 a month of "Substantial Gainful Activity",<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html Substantial Gainful Activity]</ref> and stays unmarried (to [[Polyamorous marriage|someone real]], at least) and [[Chris and the law|out of jail]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.

Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]], and until [[2023]], when he finally got a substantial income to be dropped by the SSA. In the [[Father Call]], Chris claimed that his disability check was "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on [[List of toys|frivolous junk]] rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Matt what he thought he wanted to hear.

Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not a form of welfare and is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone.

Chris is fortunate that the SSDI system allows him to receive benefits based on his father's history. Without it, he would have had to work a decade to qualify.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/planners/disability/dqualify10.html Social Security Benefits Planner: How You Qualify]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]).

In [[2010]], Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> After [[Death of Bob Chandler|his father's death]] in [[September 2011]], Chris's tugboat increased. As of [[2014]], Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in insurance money, of which [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] used $900 [[Financhu Crisis|to pay for her second mortage]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Correction to Reverse Mortgage Claim]]</ref>

While there is no concrete indication that Chris's tugboat has finally sailed away, it is most likely that Chris was pulled off of disability benefits when he was released from jail. The Social Security Administration bars people from recieving payment if they make more than $1,690 per month or have been working for more than 36 months.<ref>https://www.ssa.gov/disability/work</ref> In 2026, the revenue from his Etsy shop, [[OfficialCWCmart]], was estimated to be $151,371 after Etsy fees.<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref> While this number is a rough estimate, it is not his only source and income, so it is probably safe to conclude that Chris is no longer eligible for SSDI since at least 2023.

==Rationale==
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|250px|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]
===Chris's economic logic===
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting taxpayer funds, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax, which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is irrefutably false; sales taxes go towards state and local governments, but SSDI is funded by ''federal'' '''''payroll''''' tax (FICA), which Chris has never contributed to for all but a few months of his life.

====The argument against Chris supporting the economy====

One can take into consideration that not all of Chris's benefits will stay in the U.S. economy. Chris spends quite a bit of his tugboat on imported products. For example, [[Nintendo]] and [[Sony]] are Japanese corporations, and Chris's beloved [[Lego]] is a product of Denmark. These companies do have U.S. bases, and a small amount of R&D occurs stateside (this is mostly true of Sony, which may as well be an honorary American business). But at the end of the day, most of it occurs overseas. Let's not forget that the majority of Chris's [[toys]], electronics, and other products were most likely made in some sweatshop in [[China]], though to be fair, much of the revenue from American-designed Chinese electronics is overhead for the engineers and company in general.

In short, a good chunk of the tugboat ends up overseas, so if anything, he's supporting the world economy and furthering globalization. He's far from being alone at that, seeing the complexity of supply chains and international media popularity, but a good chunk of what Chris doesn't spend on food is spent on foreign electronics and toys.

Ironically, if Chris bought a [[HEXBox]] earlier (instead of boycotting it until 2017), the majority of money spent on it and on many of its games would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, Washington, which only receives a sliver of what Chris has spent on Nintendo games.

Chris arguably also did his part in funding industries that cost people in the long run, such as fast food.

==References by Chris==
[[File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's bank statement, showing a payment from SSDI on the 3rd of the month.]]
Chris does not even understand ''which program he is on''. In many emails<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref><ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012]]</ref> and posts<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref><ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref> he mistakenly says that he receives {{w|Supplemental Security Income|SSI}}, which is a welfare program for the poor that has far tighter restrictions and a typically lower payout. A screenshot of his bank activity from December 2009<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> indicates that he received a Social Security payment on the 3rd (SSI pays out on the 1st).<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20091208062418/https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm</ref>

* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat". He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
*In [[Jackie Chat 7]], he wrote about the reason he deserves SSDI:

{{quotebox|
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
}}

{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}



==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Money}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Monthly tugboat

2026-07-17T03:57:27Z

FullNameUnknown: CHRIS IS OFF THE TUGBOAT!

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|it's a [[Asperchu|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink]]. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary [sic] Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|thumb|Tugboat, exciting and new! 
Come aboard, we're expecting you.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm</ref> SSDI is a U.S. program to support financially those whose physical or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental disability]] prevents them from holding a job. It is a form of insurance funded by payroll taxes. Workers who have paid into the system for a numbers of years can qualify to receive benefits if they, or their children, become disabled.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10026.pdf Benefits for Children with Disabilities], Page 7.</ref>

Since [[Bob Chandler]] paid into the program during his years at General Electric, Chris is entitled to receive benefits. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month of "Substantial Gainful Activity",<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html Substantial Gainful Activity]</ref> and stays unmarried (to [[Polyamorous marriage|someone real]], at least) and [[Chris and the law|out of jail]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.

Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]. In the [[Father Call]], Chris claimed that his disability check was "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on [[List of toys|frivolous junk]] rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Matt what he thought he wanted to hear.

Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not a form of welfare and is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone.

Chris is fortunate that the SSDI system allows him to receive benefits based on his father's history. Without it, he would have had to work a decade to qualify.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/planners/disability/dqualify10.html Social Security Benefits Planner: How You Qualify]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]).

In [[2010]], Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> After [[Death of Bob Chandler|his father's death]] in [[September 2011]], Chris's tugboat increased. As of [[2014]], Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in insurance money, of which [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] used $900 [[Financhu Crisis|to pay for her second mortage]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Correction to Reverse Mortgage Claim]]</ref>

While there is no concrete indication that Chris's tugboat has finally sailed away, it is most likely that Chris was pulled off of disability benefits when he was released from jail. The Social Security Administration bars people from recieving payment if they make more than $1,690 per month or have been working for more than 36 months.<ref>https://www.ssa.gov/disability/work</ref> In 2026, the revenue from his Etsy shop, [[OfficialCWCmart]], was estimated to be $151,371 after Etsy fees.<ref>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oWEK9Boyzt70RIvhwv3R1jLgK5hl2VCsH6uH2RADfVI/edit?gid=0#gid=0</ref> While this number is a rough estimate, it is probably safe to conclude that Chris is no longer eligible for SSDI since at least 2023.

==Rationale==
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|250px|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]
===Chris's economic logic===
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting taxpayer funds, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax, which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is irrefutably false; sales taxes go towards state and local governments, but SSDI is funded by ''federal'' '''''payroll''''' tax (FICA), which Chris has never contributed to for all but a few months of his life.

====The argument against Chris supporting the economy====

One can take into consideration that not all of Chris's benefits will stay in the U.S. economy. Chris spends quite a bit of his tugboat on imported products. For example, [[Nintendo]] and [[Sony]] are Japanese corporations, and Chris's beloved [[Lego]] is a product of Denmark. These companies do have U.S. bases, and a small amount of R&D occurs stateside (this is mostly true of Sony, which may as well be an honorary American business). But at the end of the day, most of it occurs overseas. Let's not forget that the majority of Chris's [[toys]], electronics, and other products were most likely made in some sweatshop in [[China]], though to be fair, much of the revenue from American-designed Chinese electronics is overhead for the engineers and company in general.

In short, a good chunk of the tugboat ends up overseas, so if anything, he's supporting the world economy and furthering globalization. He's far from being alone at that, seeing the complexity of supply chains and international media popularity, but a good chunk of what Chris doesn't spend on food is spent on foreign electronics and toys.

Ironically, if Chris bought a [[HEXBox]] earlier (instead of boycotting it until 2017), the majority of money spent on it and on many of its games would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, Washington, which only receives a sliver of what Chris has spent on Nintendo games.

Chris arguably also did his part in funding industries that cost people in the long run, such as fast food.

==References by Chris==
[[File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's bank statement, showing a payment from SSDI on the 3rd of the month.]]
Chris does not even understand ''which program he is on''. In many emails<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref><ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012]]</ref> and posts<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref><ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref> he mistakenly says that he receives {{w|Supplemental Security Income|SSI}}, which is a welfare program for the poor that has far tighter restrictions and a typically lower payout. A screenshot of his bank activity from December 2009<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> indicates that he received a Social Security payment on the 3rd (SSI pays out on the 1st).<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20091208062418/https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm</ref>

* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat". He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
*In [[Jackie Chat 7]], he wrote about the reason he deserves SSDI:

{{quotebox|
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
}}

{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}



==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Money}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

July 2026 social media posts

2026-07-17T02:17:00Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[July 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==#SupportPhysicalMedia==
2 July 
8:47 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=@Nintendeal|Share a photo of your physical video game collection to scare a [[PlayStation]] executive 👇 
[''Posts picture of [[Nintendo Switch]] game cartridges.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I will be more than glad to make an exception to my post on [[Twitter]] rule to support this. 
<nowiki>#</nowiki>DigitalOnlyPlayStationSucks 
<nowiki>#</nowiki>SupportPhysicalMedia 
@NintendoAmerica @PlayStation 
[[File:X - Physical Nintendo Switch games 2 July 2026.jpeg|400px]]}}

==Crackder Number 64127's Party (EXTENDED)==
3 July 
9:56 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|C 64127's Party has been Extended and Updated with the lost clips and scenes that were recorded on the same date, but misplaced. Found them today. Enjoy the back talk of Crasher and the Jumping Jacks. 
⚡️💙⚡️

Subtitled: 
<nowiki>youtu.be/4LhmJqgnM9Q?...</nowiki>

Without Subtitles: 
<nowiki>youtu.be/eEenMWYenrg?...</nowiki>}}
{{quotebox|The Review Video has also been updated with the misplaced clips. ⚡️💙⚡️

<nowiki>youtu.be/u9UafQY6VAQ?...</nowiki>}}

On Twitter, the last sentence is altered to "Enjoy the back talks and the Jumping Jacks."

==Schedule update & ignoring Transformers rant==
{{Incomplete|The ten images}}
3 July 
10:37 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, replying to the previous post.

{{quotebox|Also, Changeable Scouts Part 4 will come out later this month. Plus I have plenty more planned with the #[[Transformers]]Of[[Cwcville]], as well as finding more stable times for the #[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Books]]. 
⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|BUT, there is one thing that I feel some of you are missing with the Cwcville Autobots...

You all wanted more Cwcville, Sonichu and Rosechu "Lore", well within the shorts and episodes, I have been giving you all a lot more.

Anyone remember that the Autobots work with the Sonichus and Rosechus? 
[''Posts ten images, one including T-Mobile at the top with the time being 22:12.'']}}
{{quotebox|HOW MANY Individuals have been over-blinded by Hatred for the sake of Hatred?! Also, what a Baffling Dumb Reason to hate.

I mean, back in [[2006]] or so, people online Hated on Me! It's baffled me. Hatred for the sake of Hatred, LOLing me due to me being [[Autism|Autistic]], not to mention Mockery and...}}
{{quotebox|...the "Art" of me and my Sonichus and Rosechus mislabeling and portraying us in wrong lights. WHY?! Because it was a LOL moment for some of you and the perverted mindsets within.

I never could understand the logic and lack of reasoning. That aspect of internet culture is f***ing dumb.}}
{{quotebox|Stop Being Dumb like and start being kind with others. The judgmentalities blind from that which is better.}}
{{quotebox|And apparently those individuals are not looking into the Cwcville Autobots content that resonates along with Cybertronian History and the collaboration with Earth and all.}}
{{quotebox|I can't find it online, but there was one "art" from well over a decade and a half ago that depicted Son-Chu being bored and smoking a cigarette and acting like he lacked a purpose or meaning.

Well, He AND His Autobot Team have personalities, souls and Purpose, as do Sonichu and Rosey Rosechu.}}
{{quotebox|They are not boring, and they are dynamic in personality and substance.

If only some of you had not mocked and hated on it.

But I do appreciate those like [[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]] and [[Trickie]] who offered fan works with substance, heart and soul.}}
{{quotebox|I realized that I was blinded by my hormones and shit, once upon a time, but my head has become a lot more clear in the past decade and progressing.}}
{{quotebox|Also, I have always been serious about the [[Dimensional Merge|Dimension Merge]]. I possess personal experiences and premonitions like a lot of [[Pisces]] born individuals do. And the Sonichus, Rosechus and everything, everywhere and everyone else of the [[C-197]] Half of this Earth are Real and Flesh like you all and I.}}
{{quotebox|I will never ever be told otherwise, because I know; it is not just simple belief. I wish all of you, [[GiBi|Gibi]] as well, would open your minds, hearts and eyes and see for yourselves.

And I really do not care if you all over hate and misread my words on the [[Reddit]] and [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]] or whatever.}}
{{quotebox|I am all of me, and I have been doing everything with everyone.

Peace and Love. 
⚡️💙⚡️}}

==TLUM Movie commentary video update==
3 July 
10:39 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=chrisismyidol.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[July 2026 social media posts#Crackder Number 64127's Party (EXTENDED)|a previous post]].'']

Is the [[Transformers Legacy United Merged Full Compilation Movie Plus, aka Cwclight Review Movies|TLUM movie]] premiere commentary video still coming out in the near future? I'm still very excited for it since you announced it [[January 2026 social media posts#Pre-movie livestream|back in January]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Yes. It has been delayed due to [[Finland|life events and adventures]], but that commentary video will be published before [[September 2026|September of 2026]].}}

==Back on Cameo==
4 July 
9:32 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky and Twitter simultaneously.

{{quotebox|I am back on Cameo and will accept requests once again. The money earned goes into my Savings, which has been progressing well. I thank you all for your kindness and support. ⚡️💙⚡️

[''links to [[Cameo]]'']}}

==Change Blue Heart's name==
4 July 
11:19 AM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=ネプテューヌ公式 @NepCompileHeart|Translated from Japanese

Hyperdimension Game Neptune∞

✨Follow & Repost Campaign✨

📢Until June 23rd

Autographed colored paper from #Momoka Terasawa (@momoka_terasawa), who plays Ciel & Blue Heart, will be given away to 3 winners🎯

Check the thread for entry rules‼

🔽#NepuUnlimited Official Site
https://compileheart.com/neptune/unlimited}}
{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Change Her Goddess Name to Cyan Heart! ⚡️💙⚡️}}

==Question for Chris McFeely==
8 July 
9:26 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=[[Chris McFeely]]|[[Transformers|TRANSFORMERS]]: THE BASICS on BRAWL is now live! As the Combaticons return to store shelves in Age of the Primes, we're looking at the loudmouthed bruiser who, thaks to the Bayversre, is a rare example of a combiner team member to also enjoy solo adventures outside the group!

<nowiki>youtu.be/sSlauDYQQJY</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I have a question, which can also be talked about in Nexus' Basics video. Nexus Prime is neither an Autobot or Decepticon, and he is compatible with every bot and con in combining. What happens when he has both Autobots and Decepticons attached to him? 
⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|I have a reasonable theory, given the bots combined become mind-synched: I see into the combined bot's mind. I see the five of them in a working environment, either a work table or the cockpit of the Power Rangers' (dinozord) Megazord.}}
{{quotebox|What if they are having discussions in there, and in this instance, Nexus acts as a neutral with great influence and charisma and gets the Autobot(s) and Decepticon(s) to work out their differences and find common ground that they take with them after detaching from the combined Nexus Prime. ⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|So, in short, Nexus Prime can act as a relationship, therapy or political debate room of five. I also think of a court room with the two plantings, two attorneys and one Judge Nexus in a court room. LOL. 
[''Posts GIF of people dancing in a courtroom from ''{{w|A Black Lady Sketch Show}}''.'']}}

McFeely did not respond.

==Responding to weird account==
8 July 
6:26 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Cain|time=6:05 PM|[''Replying to [[July 2026 social media posts#Back on Cameo|an earlier post]]'']

I am Cain i live in your little town i have a idea to make the marge happen}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Yeah. I'd believe you if you had more followers, did not curse as much, as well as if you were not a trolling young whippersnapper. Rethink your life choices and morals. Also, count your blessings.}}

Chris's points imply that he had looked through some of the account, which was [https://archive.is/thUil mostly unrelated nonsensical posts].

The following day, on 9 July, the user replied:
{{quoteboxred|speaker=Cain|time=9:24:16 PM|I dont Care i am Cain bow to me mortal HA HA HA HA HA}}
Chris then blocked the account at 9:25:38 PM.

==Talking more about physical media==
9 July 
10:15 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky first, then Twitter one minute later, despite this post mainly replying to [https://x.com/mrpyo1/status/2074913111220302195 a Twitter post].

{{quotebox|I am making a rare exception about my [[Twitter]] and talk about this on both here and @[[bluesky]].

Physical Media: I am very much in favour of it. Digital media was okay for the option. But to have it as an Only way to [[Chris and video games|play (modern) console games]], I feel like it is simply wrong. 
[''Posts GIF of FanClubPlayStation PS5 Pro.'']}}
{{quotebox|Picture this with me:

You still walk into a @[[Walmart]], @[[Best Buy|BestBuy]] and you have the habit of checking out the DVDs, Blu-Ray, Video Games and physical Media section. It always feels like an interesting and updating museum experience, and you have the option to buy the exhibit.}}
{{quotebox|Except the physical game is more than the art on the box, you put it into the matching console, and you're in for many hours of adventure and fun. And when not playing, you have this growing art exhibit in your home on the walls and shelves. [[Autism|Very satisfying]].}}
{{quotebox|And, yes, it is even more satisfying to put the cartridge or disc into the console and even remove it, out it back into its case, and put it back into your collection. The exhibit and adventure you physically contact with and appreciate. No Downloading Required (mostly). 
[''Posts GIF of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkyP7dYSeraOrv79reorniA 1980sGamer] inserting various [[Super Mario Bros.|Dr. Mario]] cartridges into a SNES.'']}}
{{quotebox|Now, the digital gaming. Sure, it's already on the console (IF you have internet and downloaded it already). But it lacks the charm and care of the physical media insertion. And what if you maxed out the storage space, and you lost access to the internet to either download...}}
{{quotebox|...more or even redownload that which you had acquired earlier, but had to delete it for space, and you can't redownload it for that simple no internet reason?

Not Good.

PS6 without physical Media? Without internet, it's more like a PSBrick.}}
{{quotebox|Also, Digital Only Consoles? More like simplified, glorified PC computers. You may as well be on [[Steam]] for that.

"Hey, Ouya, how have you been?" "Meh. I'm just a sad block these days. Got nothing in my storage, either."}}
{{quotebox|Also, picture this: say you're in an age where you can physically manifest an action figure collection after buying it online (talking about making matter for digital; not [[3D printing]]). You "download" the figure into your home and place it on your shelf in your collection.}}
{{quotebox|You'll enjoy that for years now! Well, with @[[PlayStation]]'s present s*** on PSPlus, the "license" is pulled, and your action figure collection? [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|*POOF*]]! Disappeared into thin air or dust. How does that make you feel? Distraught is the answer there.}}
{{quotebox|Now, I am going to tell you all what to do on this matter to reencourage physical Media production:

Buy Physical Disc and Cartridge games instead of Digital when possible on consoles presently and retroactively available. Maybe not purchase digital games anymore.}}
{{quotebox|Send the message to @Sony and @Microsoft that NOT EVERYONE HAS INTERNET!

Present tense, my WiFi has been out, so I have had to resort to my phone's hotspot for streaming, at least. So, there will not be a video on my @[[YouTube]] channel this week. I'll be restored next week. 
[''Posts GIF of Nintendo Switch 2 cartridge.'']}}
{{quotebox|And there are still people using Cable Television and landline phones these days.

I feel like @[[DingDongVG|dingdongvg.bsky.social]] would agree with me that gaming is better off of physical Media. Full Game's on the cartridge or disc. What? Are you blind to this, you young whippersnappers?}}
{{quotebox|Really wake @Sony and @Microsoft up. It would be bad for them if @NintendoAmerica was the Physical Game Media Monopoly and made clear of better successes on that. It has been made clear recently with the rise of Switch 2 sales and trade-ins of PS5s for them.

Think on that.⚡️💙⚡️}}

==My WiFi has been out==
9 July 
10:47 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter two minutes later, replying to the previous post [''Send the message to @Sony and @Microsoft that...''].

{{quotebox|[[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out1.jpeg|300px]] [[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out2.jpeg|300px]] [[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out3.jpeg|300px]]}}

==No new videos==
16 July 
9:43 PM

Chris notified his doting fans about his hiatus from posting until next week.

{{quotebox|Just an update, we're still having difficulty restoring the better WiFi around here, so there will not be a video this week. Rest assured, there will be a new video next week. I thank all of you for your patience.
⚡️💙⚡️}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 07]]

July 2026 social media posts

2026-07-17T02:13:49Z

FullNameUnknown: Added CWC tweet Bluesky

{{ongoing}}
This page is an archive of Chris's social media posts during [[July 2026]]. Unless otherwise indicated, the posts are on [[X]] from the account @CPU_CWCSonichu and on [[Bluesky]] from the account ‪@cpujcwcsprime.bsky.social‬ and all time stamps are Eastern Time Zone (ET).

==#SupportPhysicalMedia==
2 July 
8:47 PM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=@Nintendeal|Share a photo of your physical video game collection to scare a [[PlayStation]] executive 👇 
[''Posts picture of [[Nintendo Switch]] game cartridges.'']}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I will be more than glad to make an exception to my post on [[Twitter]] rule to support this. 
<nowiki>#</nowiki>DigitalOnlyPlayStationSucks 
<nowiki>#</nowiki>SupportPhysicalMedia 
@NintendoAmerica @PlayStation 
[[File:X - Physical Nintendo Switch games 2 July 2026.jpeg|400px]]}}

==Crackder Number 64127's Party (EXTENDED)==
3 July 
9:56 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter one minute later.

{{quotebox|C 64127's Party has been Extended and Updated with the lost clips and scenes that were recorded on the same date, but misplaced. Found them today. Enjoy the back talk of Crasher and the Jumping Jacks. 
⚡️💙⚡️

Subtitled: 
<nowiki>youtu.be/4LhmJqgnM9Q?...</nowiki>

Without Subtitles: 
<nowiki>youtu.be/eEenMWYenrg?...</nowiki>}}
{{quotebox|The Review Video has also been updated with the misplaced clips. ⚡️💙⚡️

<nowiki>youtu.be/u9UafQY6VAQ?...</nowiki>}}

On Twitter, the last sentence is altered to "Enjoy the back talks and the Jumping Jacks."

==Schedule update & ignoring Transformers rant==
{{Incomplete|The ten images}}
3 July 
10:37 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, replying to the previous post.

{{quotebox|Also, Changeable Scouts Part 4 will come out later this month. Plus I have plenty more planned with the #[[Transformers]]Of[[Cwcville]], as well as finding more stable times for the #[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Books]]. 
⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|BUT, there is one thing that I feel some of you are missing with the Cwcville Autobots...

You all wanted more Cwcville, Sonichu and Rosechu "Lore", well within the shorts and episodes, I have been giving you all a lot more.

Anyone remember that the Autobots work with the Sonichus and Rosechus? 
[''Posts ten images, one including T-Mobile at the top with the time being 22:12.'']}}
{{quotebox|HOW MANY Individuals have been over-blinded by Hatred for the sake of Hatred?! Also, what a Baffling Dumb Reason to hate.

I mean, back in [[2006]] or so, people online Hated on Me! It's baffled me. Hatred for the sake of Hatred, LOLing me due to me being [[Autism|Autistic]], not to mention Mockery and...}}
{{quotebox|...the "Art" of me and my Sonichus and Rosechus mislabeling and portraying us in wrong lights. WHY?! Because it was a LOL moment for some of you and the perverted mindsets within.

I never could understand the logic and lack of reasoning. That aspect of internet culture is f***ing dumb.}}
{{quotebox|Stop Being Dumb like and start being kind with others. The judgmentalities blind from that which is better.}}
{{quotebox|And apparently those individuals are not looking into the Cwcville Autobots content that resonates along with Cybertronian History and the collaboration with Earth and all.}}
{{quotebox|I can't find it online, but there was one "art" from well over a decade and a half ago that depicted Son-Chu being bored and smoking a cigarette and acting like he lacked a purpose or meaning.

Well, He AND His Autobot Team have personalities, souls and Purpose, as do Sonichu and Rosey Rosechu.}}
{{quotebox|They are not boring, and they are dynamic in personality and substance.

If only some of you had not mocked and hated on it.

But I do appreciate those like [[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]] and [[Trickie]] who offered fan works with substance, heart and soul.}}
{{quotebox|I realized that I was blinded by my hormones and shit, once upon a time, but my head has become a lot more clear in the past decade and progressing.}}
{{quotebox|Also, I have always been serious about the [[Dimensional Merge|Dimension Merge]]. I possess personal experiences and premonitions like a lot of [[Pisces]] born individuals do. And the Sonichus, Rosechus and everything, everywhere and everyone else of the [[C-197]] Half of this Earth are Real and Flesh like you all and I.}}
{{quotebox|I will never ever be told otherwise, because I know; it is not just simple belief. I wish all of you, [[GiBi|Gibi]] as well, would open your minds, hearts and eyes and see for yourselves.

And I really do not care if you all over hate and misread my words on the [[Reddit]] and [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]] or whatever.}}
{{quotebox|I am all of me, and I have been doing everything with everyone.

Peace and Love. 
⚡️💙⚡️}}

==TLUM Movie commentary video update==
3 July 
10:39 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=chrisismyidol.bsky.social|[''Replying to [[July 2026 social media posts#Crackder Number 64127's Party (EXTENDED)|a previous post]].'']

Is the [[Transformers Legacy United Merged Full Compilation Movie Plus, aka Cwclight Review Movies|TLUM movie]] premiere commentary video still coming out in the near future? I'm still very excited for it since you announced it [[January 2026 social media posts#Pre-movie livestream|back in January]]}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Yes. It has been delayed due to [[Finland|life events and adventures]], but that commentary video will be published before [[September 2026|September of 2026]].}}

==Back on Cameo==
4 July 
9:32 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky and Twitter simultaneously.

{{quotebox|I am back on Cameo and will accept requests once again. The money earned goes into my Savings, which has been progressing well. I thank you all for your kindness and support. ⚡️💙⚡️

[''links to [[Cameo]]'']}}

==Change Blue Heart's name==
4 July 
11:19 AM

Posted to Chris's Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=ネプテューヌ公式 @NepCompileHeart|Translated from Japanese

Hyperdimension Game Neptune∞

✨Follow & Repost Campaign✨

📢Until June 23rd

Autographed colored paper from #Momoka Terasawa (@momoka_terasawa), who plays Ciel & Blue Heart, will be given away to 3 winners🎯

Check the thread for entry rules‼

🔽#NepuUnlimited Official Site
https://compileheart.com/neptune/unlimited}}
{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Change Her Goddess Name to Cyan Heart! ⚡️💙⚡️}}

==Question for Chris McFeely==
8 July 
9:26 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=[[Chris McFeely]]|[[Transformers|TRANSFORMERS]]: THE BASICS on BRAWL is now live! As the Combaticons return to store shelves in Age of the Primes, we're looking at the loudmouthed bruiser who, thaks to the Bayversre, is a rare example of a combiner team member to also enjoy solo adventures outside the group!

<nowiki>youtu.be/sSlauDYQQJY</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|I have a question, which can also be talked about in Nexus' Basics video. Nexus Prime is neither an Autobot or Decepticon, and he is compatible with every bot and con in combining. What happens when he has both Autobots and Decepticons attached to him? 
⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|I have a reasonable theory, given the bots combined become mind-synched: I see into the combined bot's mind. I see the five of them in a working environment, either a work table or the cockpit of the Power Rangers' (dinozord) Megazord.}}
{{quotebox|What if they are having discussions in there, and in this instance, Nexus acts as a neutral with great influence and charisma and gets the Autobot(s) and Decepticon(s) to work out their differences and find common ground that they take with them after detaching from the combined Nexus Prime. ⚡️💙⚡️}}
{{quotebox|So, in short, Nexus Prime can act as a relationship, therapy or political debate room of five. I also think of a court room with the two plantings, two attorneys and one Judge Nexus in a court room. LOL. 
[''Posts GIF of people dancing in a courtroom from ''{{w|A Black Lady Sketch Show}}''.'']}}

McFeely did not respond.

==Responding to weird account==
8 July 
6:26 PM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky.

{{quoteboxred|speaker=Cain|time=6:05 PM|[''Replying to [[July 2026 social media posts#Back on Cameo|an earlier post]]'']

I am Cain i live in your little town i have a idea to make the marge happen}}

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Yeah. I'd believe you if you had more followers, did not curse as much, as well as if you were not a trolling young whippersnapper. Rethink your life choices and morals. Also, count your blessings.}}

Chris's points imply that he had looked through some of the account, which was [https://archive.is/thUil mostly unrelated nonsensical posts].

The following day, on 9 July, the user replied:
{{quoteboxred|speaker=Cain|time=9:24:16 PM|I dont Care i am Cain bow to me mortal HA HA HA HA HA}}
Chris then blocked the account at 9:25:38 PM.

==Talking more about physical media==
9 July 
10:15 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky first, then Twitter one minute later, despite this post mainly replying to [https://x.com/mrpyo1/status/2074913111220302195 a Twitter post].

{{quotebox|I am making a rare exception about my [[Twitter]] and talk about this on both here and @[[bluesky]].

Physical Media: I am very much in favour of it. Digital media was okay for the option. But to have it as an Only way to [[Chris and video games|play (modern) console games]], I feel like it is simply wrong. 
[''Posts GIF of FanClubPlayStation PS5 Pro.'']}}
{{quotebox|Picture this with me:

You still walk into a @[[Walmart]], @[[Best Buy|BestBuy]] and you have the habit of checking out the DVDs, Blu-Ray, Video Games and physical Media section. It always feels like an interesting and updating museum experience, and you have the option to buy the exhibit.}}
{{quotebox|Except the physical game is more than the art on the box, you put it into the matching console, and you're in for many hours of adventure and fun. And when not playing, you have this growing art exhibit in your home on the walls and shelves. [[Autism|Very satisfying]].}}
{{quotebox|And, yes, it is even more satisfying to put the cartridge or disc into the console and even remove it, out it back into its case, and put it back into your collection. The exhibit and adventure you physically contact with and appreciate. No Downloading Required (mostly). 
[''Posts GIF of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkyP7dYSeraOrv79reorniA 1980sGamer] inserting various [[Super Mario Bros.|Dr. Mario]] cartridges into a SNES.'']}}
{{quotebox|Now, the digital gaming. Sure, it's already on the console (IF you have internet and downloaded it already). But it lacks the charm and care of the physical media insertion. And what if you maxed out the storage space, and you lost access to the internet to either download...}}
{{quotebox|...more or even redownload that which you had acquired earlier, but had to delete it for space, and you can't redownload it for that simple no internet reason?

Not Good.

PS6 without physical Media? Without internet, it's more like a PSBrick.}}
{{quotebox|Also, Digital Only Consoles? More like simplified, glorified PC computers. You may as well be on [[Steam]] for that.

"Hey, Ouya, how have you been?" "Meh. I'm just a sad block these days. Got nothing in my storage, either."}}
{{quotebox|Also, picture this: say you're in an age where you can physically manifest an action figure collection after buying it online (talking about making matter for digital; not [[3D printing]]). You "download" the figure into your home and place it on your shelf in your collection.}}
{{quotebox|You'll enjoy that for years now! Well, with @[[PlayStation]]'s present s*** on PSPlus, the "license" is pulled, and your action figure collection? [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|*POOF*]]! Disappeared into thin air or dust. How does that make you feel? Distraught is the answer there.}}
{{quotebox|Now, I am going to tell you all what to do on this matter to reencourage physical Media production:

Buy Physical Disc and Cartridge games instead of Digital when possible on consoles presently and retroactively available. Maybe not purchase digital games anymore.}}
{{quotebox|Send the message to @Sony and @Microsoft that NOT EVERYONE HAS INTERNET!

Present tense, my WiFi has been out, so I have had to resort to my phone's hotspot for streaming, at least. So, there will not be a video on my @[[YouTube]] channel this week. I'll be restored next week. 
[''Posts GIF of Nintendo Switch 2 cartridge.'']}}
{{quotebox|And there are still people using Cable Television and landline phones these days.

I feel like @[[DingDongVG|dingdongvg.bsky.social]] would agree with me that gaming is better off of physical Media. Full Game's on the cartridge or disc. What? Are you blind to this, you young whippersnappers?}}
{{quotebox|Really wake @Sony and @Microsoft up. It would be bad for them if @NintendoAmerica was the Physical Game Media Monopoly and made clear of better successes on that. It has been made clear recently with the rise of Switch 2 sales and trade-ins of PS5s for them.

Think on that.⚡️💙⚡️}}

==My WiFi has been out==
9 July 
10:47 AM

Posted to Chris's Bluesky, then Twitter two minutes later, replying to the previous post [''Send the message to @Sony and @Microsoft that...''].

{{quotebox|[[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out1.jpeg|300px]] [[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out2.jpeg|300px]] [[File:Bluesky - my WiFi has been out3.jpeg|300px]]}}

==No new videos==

On 16 July 2026, Chris notified his doting fans about his hiatus from posting until next week.

{{quotebox|Just an update, we're still having difficulty restoring the better WiFi around here, so there will not be a video this week. Rest assured, there will be a new video next week. I thank all of you for your patience.
⚡️💙⚡️}}

{{Social media}}

[[Category:Chris-chan social media posts, 2026| 07]]

Flutter

2026-07-17T01:11:31Z

FullNameUnknown: omg bruh

{{Imposter}}
{{ongoing}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400002.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid Little My
|ft=4
|in=9
|heightsrc=<ref name=flutterheightestimation>[[:File:ChrisAndFlutterHeightApproximation.png]]</ref>
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. Given Chris's long-running [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], some observers have also speculated that Flutter may be Chris's latest potential [[Sweetheart]], though this remains unconfirmed and is contradicted by Chris's own description of her as merely a friend.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1mtpsli/where_is_the_cwcdom_headed/ "Where Is The CWC-Dom Headed"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref><ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1c27s9m/any_updates_on_chris_love_quest/ "Any updates on Chris' love quest?"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref> In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by sightings of Chris and Flutter in [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. She appears to have gone to great lengths to maintain her anonymity, and Chris has been [[Honest Content|uncharacteristically]] steadfast in refusing to discuss the matter. The lack of any solid information regarding Flutter has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors. Theories ranged from things such as Flutter being underage due to her youthful and diminutive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]] meant to keep Chris in check, being an obscure Finnish lolcow unknown to Chris's primarily North American follower base, to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris.<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Pregnancy rumor confirmed false]]</ref> Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings#Post-Jail}}
Flutter is best known for having been spotted together with Chris in public many times following his release from jail, first in the United States and then (beginning in April 2024) in Finland as well. This is particularly notable given Chris's substantially decreased online prescence.

===2023===
[[File:CWC CVS 17-Sept-2023 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at CVS]]

*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

===2024===
[[File:Chris-flutter-v0-hbfqn513rqac1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at [[Animate! Raleigh]]]]

*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 30 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were unwittingly recorded in the background of a YouTube video, holding hands while walking together at {{w|Linnanmäki|Linnanmäki}} in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

===2025===
[[File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter in [[Rauma]], [[Finland]]]]

*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

*On 17 [[April 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted eating at Arnold's in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Arnold's,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 23 [[July 2025]], Chris and Flutter were seen shopping at Rauma International Market in {{w|Rauma}}, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Rauma_International_Market,_Rauma,_Finland]]</ref> This is their first sighting in Finland outside of Helsinki—more than 250 km (155 mi.) away, in fact, leading some to hypothesize that Flutter lives in the area or has family there.

*On 13 [[August 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted shopping at a Walmart in Lynchburg. This sighting provided the highest-quality image of Flutter's face thus far.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Walmart_(August)]]</ref>

*On 31 [[August 2025]], Chris and presumably Flutter are spotted eating at the Red Lobster in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Red_Lobster]]</ref>

*On 7 [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter are spotted at a Barnes and Noble in Roanoke, VA.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Valley_View_Mall]]</ref>

*On an unknown date in [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Finland (September)]]</ref>

*On 29 [[December 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland riding an escalator.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

===2026===
*On 22 [[May 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland again.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Forum, Helsinki Finland]]</ref>
*On 5 [[June 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in the Mall of Tripla going to see ''The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act'' at the cinema there.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Chris's Silence==
{{quote|That remains absolutely with no comment!|Chris, after being asked about Flutter and his Finland visits<ref>[[Waltah White Calls#Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25]]</ref>}}

When he first spoke about her [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|shortly after returning to the Internet]], Chris only shared her nickname and the fact that she had reached out to him while he was [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]], and that they had met up in [[Lynchburg]] following his release.

In a [[May 2025]] [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|call with a ween]], Chris was asked directly about Flutter and proceeded to [[List of Chris's lies|lie]] about everything possibly related to her, including denying that he ever went to [[Finland]] with her or was learning Finnish on [[Duolingo]]. Instead he claimed Flutter lives in Philadelphia and is going to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] there, but was both unwilling and unable to provide any details when pressed further. He refused to give up her real name or even the first letter, even after being offered bribes of $50, $150 and purchases from his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy store]], stating simply, "Her name shall not be revealed."<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25#Transcript]]</ref>

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki 30 April 2024 (cropped screencap).jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland|At Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland|Wearing matching outfits with Chris in Rauma, Finland]].
File:CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400001.png|Walmart, [[August 2025]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Walmart Sighting, August 2025]]</ref>
File:May22 2026 Helsinki cropped.jpeg|In Forum Shopping Centre, Finland, [[May 2026]]
</ref>
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wallflower]] - A prior gal-pal that Chris attempted to keep under wraps.

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2026-07-17T01:04:09Z

FullNameUnknown: Fixing a tagging error

{{Imposter}}
{{ongoing}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400002.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid Little My
|ft=4
|in=9
|heightsrc=<ref name=flutterheightestimation>[[File:ChrisAndFlutterHeightApproximation.png]]</ref>
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. Given Chris's long-running [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], some observers have also speculated that Flutter may be Chris's latest potential [[Sweetheart]], though this remains unconfirmed and is contradicted by Chris's own description of her as merely a friend.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1mtpsli/where_is_the_cwcdom_headed/ "Where Is The CWC-Dom Headed"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref><ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1c27s9m/any_updates_on_chris_love_quest/ "Any updates on Chris' love quest?"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref> In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by sightings of Chris and Flutter in [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. She appears to have gone to great lengths to maintain her anonymity, and Chris has been [[Honest Content|uncharacteristically]] steadfast in refusing to discuss the matter. The lack of any solid information regarding Flutter has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors. Theories ranged from things such as Flutter being underage due to her youthful and diminutive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]] meant to keep Chris in check, being an obscure Finnish lolcow unknown to Chris's primarily North American follower base, to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris.<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Pregnancy rumor confirmed false]]</ref> Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings#Post-Jail}}
Flutter is best known for having been spotted together with Chris in public many times following his release from jail, first in the United States and then (beginning in April 2024) in Finland as well. This is particularly notable given Chris's substantially decreased online prescence.

===2023===
[[File:CWC CVS 17-Sept-2023 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at CVS]]

*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

===2024===
[[File:Chris-flutter-v0-hbfqn513rqac1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at [[Animate! Raleigh]]]]

*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 30 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were unwittingly recorded in the background of a YouTube video, holding hands while walking together at {{w|Linnanmäki|Linnanmäki}} in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

===2025===
[[File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter in [[Rauma]], [[Finland]]]]

*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

*On 17 [[April 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted eating at Arnold's in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Arnold's,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 23 [[July 2025]], Chris and Flutter were seen shopping at Rauma International Market in {{w|Rauma}}, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Rauma_International_Market,_Rauma,_Finland]]</ref> This is their first sighting in Finland outside of Helsinki—more than 250 km (155 mi.) away, in fact, leading some to hypothesize that Flutter lives in the area or has family there.

*On 13 [[August 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted shopping at a Walmart in Lynchburg. This sighting provided the highest-quality image of Flutter's face thus far.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Walmart_(August)]]</ref>

*On 31 [[August 2025]], Chris and presumably Flutter are spotted eating at the Red Lobster in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Red_Lobster]]</ref>

*On 7 [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter are spotted at a Barnes and Noble in Roanoke, VA.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Valley_View_Mall]]</ref>

*On an unknown date in [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Finland (September)]]</ref>

*On 29 [[December 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland riding an escalator.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

===2026===
*On 22 [[May 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland again.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Forum, Helsinki Finland]]</ref>
*On 5 [[June 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in the Mall of Tripla going to see ''The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act'' at the cinema there.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Chris's Silence==
{{quote|That remains absolutely with no comment!|Chris, after being asked about Flutter and his Finland visits<ref>[[Waltah White Calls#Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25]]</ref>}}

When he first spoke about her [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|shortly after returning to the Internet]], Chris only shared her nickname and the fact that she had reached out to him while he was [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]], and that they had met up in [[Lynchburg]] following his release.

In a [[May 2025]] [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|call with a ween]], Chris was asked directly about Flutter and proceeded to [[List of Chris's lies|lie]] about everything possibly related to her, including denying that he ever went to [[Finland]] with her or was learning Finnish on [[Duolingo]]. Instead he claimed Flutter lives in Philadelphia and is going to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] there, but was both unwilling and unable to provide any details when pressed further. He refused to give up her real name or even the first letter, even after being offered bribes of $50, $150 and purchases from his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy store]], stating simply, "Her name shall not be revealed."<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25#Transcript]]</ref>

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki 30 April 2024 (cropped screencap).jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland|At Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland|Wearing matching outfits with Chris in Rauma, Finland]].
File:CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400001.png|Walmart, [[August 2025]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Walmart Sighting, August 2025]]</ref>
File:May22 2026 Helsinki cropped.jpeg|In Forum Shopping Centre, Finland, [[May 2026]]
</ref>
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wallflower]] - A prior gal-pal that Chris attempted to keep under wraps.

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2026-07-17T01:01:03Z

FullNameUnknown:

{{Imposter}}
{{ongoing}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400002.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid Little My
|ft=4
|in=9
|heightsrc=<ref name=flutterheightestimation>[[ChrisAndFlutterHeightApproximation.png]]</ref>
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. Given Chris's long-running [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], some observers have also speculated that Flutter may be Chris's latest potential [[Sweetheart]], though this remains unconfirmed and is contradicted by Chris's own description of her as merely a friend.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1mtpsli/where_is_the_cwcdom_headed/ "Where Is The CWC-Dom Headed"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref><ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1c27s9m/any_updates_on_chris_love_quest/ "Any updates on Chris' love quest?"], ''Reddit'', accessed 26 April 2026.</ref> In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by sightings of Chris and Flutter in [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. She appears to have gone to great lengths to maintain her anonymity, and Chris has been [[Honest Content|uncharacteristically]] steadfast in refusing to discuss the matter. The lack of any solid information regarding Flutter has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors. Theories ranged from things such as Flutter being underage due to her youthful and diminutive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]] meant to keep Chris in check, being an obscure Finnish lolcow unknown to Chris's primarily North American follower base, to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris.<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Pregnancy rumor confirmed false]]</ref> Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings#Post-Jail}}
Flutter is best known for having been spotted together with Chris in public many times following his release from jail, first in the United States and then (beginning in April 2024) in Finland as well. This is particularly notable given Chris's substantially decreased online prescence.

===2023===
[[File:CWC CVS 17-Sept-2023 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at CVS]]

*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

===2024===
[[File:Chris-flutter-v0-hbfqn513rqac1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter at [[Animate! Raleigh]]]]

*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 30 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were unwittingly recorded in the background of a YouTube video, holding hands while walking together at {{w|Linnanmäki|Linnanmäki}} in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

===2025===
[[File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Chris and Flutter in [[Rauma]], [[Finland]]]]

*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

*On 17 [[April 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted eating at Arnold's in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Arnold's,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 23 [[July 2025]], Chris and Flutter were seen shopping at Rauma International Market in {{w|Rauma}}, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Rauma_International_Market,_Rauma,_Finland]]</ref> This is their first sighting in Finland outside of Helsinki—more than 250 km (155 mi.) away, in fact, leading some to hypothesize that Flutter lives in the area or has family there.

*On 13 [[August 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted shopping at a Walmart in Lynchburg. This sighting provided the highest-quality image of Flutter's face thus far.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Walmart_(August)]]</ref>

*On 31 [[August 2025]], Chris and presumably Flutter are spotted eating at the Red Lobster in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Red_Lobster]]</ref>

*On 7 [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter are spotted at a Barnes and Noble in Roanoke, VA.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Valley_View_Mall]]</ref>

*On an unknown date in [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Finland (September)]]</ref>

*On 29 [[December 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland riding an escalator.<ref>[[Sightings (2025)#Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

===2026===
*On 22 [[May 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in Forum Shopping Centre in Finland again.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Forum, Helsinki Finland]]</ref>
*On 5 [[June 2026]], Chris and Flutter were spotted in the Mall of Tripla going to see ''The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act'' at the cinema there.<ref>[[Sightings (2026)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Chris's Silence==
{{quote|That remains absolutely with no comment!|Chris, after being asked about Flutter and his Finland visits<ref>[[Waltah White Calls#Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25]]</ref>}}

When he first spoke about her [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|shortly after returning to the Internet]], Chris only shared her nickname and the fact that she had reached out to him while he was [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]], and that they had met up in [[Lynchburg]] following his release.

In a [[May 2025]] [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|call with a ween]], Chris was asked directly about Flutter and proceeded to [[List of Chris's lies|lie]] about everything possibly related to her, including denying that he ever went to [[Finland]] with her or was learning Finnish on [[Duolingo]]. Instead he claimed Flutter lives in Philadelphia and is going to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] there, but was both unwilling and unable to provide any details when pressed further. He refused to give up her real name or even the first letter, even after being offered bribes of $50, $150 and purchases from his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy store]], stating simply, "Her name shall not be revealed."<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25#Transcript]]</ref>

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki 30 April 2024 (cropped screencap).jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland|At Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland|Wearing matching outfits with Chris in Rauma, Finland]].
File:CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400001.png|Walmart, [[August 2025]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Walmart Sighting, August 2025]]</ref>
File:May22 2026 Helsinki cropped.jpeg|In Forum Shopping Centre, Finland, [[May 2026]]
</ref>
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wallflower]] - A prior gal-pal that Chris attempted to keep under wraps.

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]