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Chris and religion

2018-01-25T04:43:10Z

Galax:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of forgiveness immediately prior to Rosechu raping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in vengeance.]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he long espoused his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Program from Chris's baptism.]]

The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) or expressions in one Essence.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref> His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], then [[PandaHalo]] and finally [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if He exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]], an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they[sic] have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

In recent years, Chris appears to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], God has nevertheless imparted upon him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[Jerkop]]:

{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a [[May 2013]] letter to [[Kim]]:

{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)}}

Soon thereafter, inspired by [[Wikipedia:Futurama|Futurama]], he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

{{quote|The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.|Chris on Facebook, August 2014.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

===Goddess Emanuelle===
In [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Goddess Emanuelle|August 2016]], Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a Goddess. It seems to be another result of his gender issues, in which he considers women to be good and men to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making Tomgirl Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle.

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is not an uncommon one, most Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into Heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based (as opposed to Catholicism, where one's fate in the afterlife is additionally determined by deeds, self-denial, sacraments and repentence).

Absurdly, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to Heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

=== Reincarnation ===

Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept,<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor]]</ref> but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from [[anime|somewhere else]].

Chris has suggested that he is himself a reincarnation of various people. In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], Chris's [[Comic Chris|fictional counterpart]] is the reincarnation of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], though he does not appear to believe this about himself in real life. However, during the epilogue of [[Sonichu_12#Episode_26:_Prideful|''Sonichu'' Episode 26]], Chris mentions a real-world dream in which he discovered he had been a (true and honest) [[Homos|lesbian]] hippie who attended [[Wikipedia:Woodstock|Woodstock]] in a recent past life. He credits this dream with his realization that he is a "female soul" and decision to identify as a transsexual as opposed to a [[Tomgirl|cross-dresser]], further calling the psychological validity of his gender identity into question. Besides his own reincarnation, Chris's explanation of [[Liquid_Chris#In_the_comic|what happened to Liquid Chris]] in the ''Sonichu'' canon mentions Liquid's soul being cleared of all memory of previous incarnations before being reincarnated, as what Chris considers an ironic punishment for someone who dared impersonate him.

==Concept of sin==

{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}
{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}
{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Take note, Chris.]]

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits [[death threats|wrath]], [[Liquid Chris|envy]], [[obesity| gluttony]], [[monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and money|greed]], [[virgin with rage|lust]] and [[Chris and his Ego|pride]] constantly.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|threatening to set fire to his business]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

However, Chris has on occasion shown some capacity to genuinely forgive and move on, as shown at [[MAGfest]] where he was seen making up with [[Adam Stackhouse]] (albeit after 11 years).
==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}
{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the Universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. The idea of this spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
[[File:EmperorChris.png|thumb|left|All hail Christian Weston Chandler, God-<s>Emperor</s> Mayor of [[CWCville]].]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_61 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her [[Rosechu (species)|species]]. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns - he refers to Catholic priests as [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu|"pastors"] and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, although he probably has no idea what its relationship to Protestantism is.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, deference to a cleric on ethical matters is far more typical for Catholics than Protestants). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and the relationship between Protestantism and other kinds of Christianity. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
''See also: [[Chris and race#Jews|Chris and race]]''

"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and [[Sonichu 11]]" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he hints at a hatred of Islam. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever publically commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This illustrate that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and religion

2018-01-25T04:40:28Z

Galax: /* Chris and forgiveness */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of forgiveness immediately prior to Rosechu raping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in vengeance.]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he long espoused his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Program from Chris's baptism.]]

The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) or expressions in one Essence.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref> His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], then [[PandaHalo]] and finally [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if He exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]], an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they[sic] have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

In recent years, Chris appears to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], God has nevertheless imparted upon him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[Jerkop]]:

{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a [[May 2013]] letter to [[Kim]]:

{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)}}

Soon thereafter, inspired by [[Wikipedia:Futurama|Futurama]], he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

{{quote|The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.|Chris on Facebook, August 2014.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

===Goddess Emanuelle===
In [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Goddess Emanuelle|August 2016]], Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a Goddess. It seems to be another result of his gender issues, in which he considers women to be good and men to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making Tomgirl Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle.

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is not an uncommon one, most Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into Heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based (as opposed to Catholicism, where one's fate in the afterlife is additionally determined by deeds, self-denial, sacraments and repentence).

Absurdly, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to Heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

=== Reincarnation ===

Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept,<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor]]</ref> but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from [[anime|somewhere else]].

Chris has suggested that he is himself a reincarnation of various people. In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], Chris's [[Comic Chris|fictional counterpart]] is the reincarnation of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], though he does not appear to believe this about himself in real life. However, during the epilogue of [[Sonichu_12#Episode_26:_Prideful|''Sonichu'' Episode 26]], Chris mentions a real-world dream in which he discovered he had been a (true and honest) [[Homos|lesbian]] hippie who attended [[Wikipedia:Woodstock|Woodstock]] in a recent past life. He credits this dream with his realization that he is a "female soul" and decision to identify as a transsexual as opposed to a [[Tomgirl|cross-dresser]], further calling the psychological validity of his gender identity into question. Besides his own reincarnation, Chris's explanation of [[Liquid_Chris#In_the_comic|what happened to Liquid Chris]] in the ''Sonichu'' canon mentions Liquid's soul being cleared of all memory of previous incarnations before being reincarnated, as what Chris considers an ironic punishment for someone who dared impersonate him.

==Concept of sin==

{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}
{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}
{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Take note, Chris.]]

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits [[death threats|wrath]], [[Liquid Chris|envy]], [[obesity| gluttony]], [[monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and money|greed]], [[virgin with rage|lust]] and [[Chris and his Ego|pride]] constantly.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|threatening to set fire to his business]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

However, Chris has on occasion shown some capacity to genuinely forgive and move on, as shown at the [[MAGfest]] panel where he was seen making up with [[Adam Stackhouse]] (albeit after 11 years).

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}
{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the Universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. The idea of this spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
[[File:EmperorChris.png|thumb|left|All hail Christian Weston Chandler, God-<s>Emperor</s> Mayor of [[CWCville]].]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_61 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her [[Rosechu (species)|species]]. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns - he refers to Catholic priests as [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu|"pastors"] and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, although he probably has no idea what its relationship to Protestantism is.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, deference to a cleric on ethical matters is far more typical for Catholics than Protestants). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and the relationship between Protestantism and other kinds of Christianity. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
''See also: [[Chris and race#Jews|Chris and race]]''

"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and [[Sonichu 11]]" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he hints at a hatred of Islam. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever publically commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This illustrate that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and religion

2018-01-25T04:38:44Z

Galax:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of forgiveness immediately prior to Rosechu raping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in vengeance.]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he long espoused his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Irrespective of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Program from Chris's baptism.]]

The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) or expressions in one Essence.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref> His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], then [[PandaHalo]] and finally [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if He exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]], an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they[sic] have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

In recent years, Chris appears to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], God has nevertheless imparted upon him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[Jerkop]]:

{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a [[May 2013]] letter to [[Kim]]:

{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)}}

Soon thereafter, inspired by [[Wikipedia:Futurama|Futurama]], he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

{{quote|The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.|Chris on Facebook, August 2014.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

===Goddess Emanuelle===
In [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Goddess Emanuelle|August 2016]], Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a Goddess. It seems to be another result of his gender issues, in which he considers women to be good and men to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making Tomgirl Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle.

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is not an uncommon one, most Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into Heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based (as opposed to Catholicism, where one's fate in the afterlife is additionally determined by deeds, self-denial, sacraments and repentence).

Absurdly, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to Heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

=== Reincarnation ===

Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept,<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor]]</ref> but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from [[anime|somewhere else]].

Chris has suggested that he is himself a reincarnation of various people. In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], Chris's [[Comic Chris|fictional counterpart]] is the reincarnation of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], though he does not appear to believe this about himself in real life. However, during the epilogue of [[Sonichu_12#Episode_26:_Prideful|''Sonichu'' Episode 26]], Chris mentions a real-world dream in which he discovered he had been a (true and honest) [[Homos|lesbian]] hippie who attended [[Wikipedia:Woodstock|Woodstock]] in a recent past life. He credits this dream with his realization that he is a "female soul" and decision to identify as a transsexual as opposed to a [[Tomgirl|cross-dresser]], further calling the psychological validity of his gender identity into question. Besides his own reincarnation, Chris's explanation of [[Liquid_Chris#In_the_comic|what happened to Liquid Chris]] in the ''Sonichu'' canon mentions Liquid's soul being cleared of all memory of previous incarnations before being reincarnated, as what Chris considers an ironic punishment for someone who dared impersonate him.

==Concept of sin==

{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}
{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}
{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Take note, Chris.]]

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits [[death threats|wrath]], [[Liquid Chris|envy]], [[obesity| gluttony]], [[monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and money|greed]], [[virgin with rage|lust]] and [[Chris and his Ego|pride]] constantly.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|threatening to set fire to his business]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

However, Chris has on occasion shown some capacity to forgive and move on, as shown at the [[MAGfest]] panel where he was seen making up with [[Adam Stackhouse]].
==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}
{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the Universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. The idea of this spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
[[File:EmperorChris.png|thumb|left|All hail Christian Weston Chandler, God-<s>Emperor</s> Mayor of [[CWCville]].]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_61 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her [[Rosechu (species)|species]]. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns - he refers to Catholic priests as [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu|"pastors"] and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, although he probably has no idea what its relationship to Protestantism is.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, deference to a cleric on ethical matters is far more typical for Catholics than Protestants). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and the relationship between Protestantism and other kinds of Christianity. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
''See also: [[Chris and race#Jews|Chris and race]]''

"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and [[Sonichu 11]]" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he hints at a hatred of Islam. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever publically commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This illustrate that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Talk:CWCville Shopping Center

2017-07-12T00:10:17Z

Galax:

== New To do==
Someone with AutoCAD experience to decipher the files. I know the PDFs aren't the complete pictures... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:33, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

==To do==
Let's add all the mall stores for the sake of reference. Also, the mall stores should stick to the actual mall stores Chris has indicated. Adding unfunny shit like "House of Pickles" and "Fanta 'N Cum" ruins insight into Chris's head. '''Next person who adds a store that isn't from Chris's mall plans gets BANNED.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:30, 22 September 2009 (CEST)
*I'm surprised he didn't make up more of the stores. Lots are more obscure, but only a few seem to come from his imagination (Christopher's Pizza, etc). I've added a subsection for the things that don't technically count as stores and I haven't counted all the restrooms yet but there's definitely more than a mall needs. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 20:54, 22 September 2009 (CEST)
*:According to Wikipedia this place is 1/5th the size of Mall of America. I don't make a habit out of counting the stores at my local mall, but isn't that an absurdly large store for a city in Virginia? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:58, 22 September 2009 (CEST)
::*When it's the sole notable thing in your city, maybe not. More interestingly is that I recall someone on PVCC noting that the size of the mayoral office is roughly the size of an (American) football field which is pretty fucking huge for an office. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:14, 26 September 2009 (CEST)
**:The mall itself is also hugely out of proportion - look at how much empty space there is in the middle of the mall compared to the size of the stores. It's absolutely massive! Besides, are you even supposed to plan out what stores are in a mall when you're building it? Doesn't that sort of thing happen after? I mean, stores do move around after all. And another thing, why put the Mayoral Office in a shopping mall? Does the mayor just want to be close to stores so he can waste the taxpayers' money? It makes no sense! [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 23:23, 22 September 2009 (CEST)

*This only needs a list of stores, not commentary on the stores. This is so people don't have to download the entire damn blueprints. I'll be working on fixing this but if someone beats me to the punch, please do. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:21, 25 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Nevermind. In any case, we really don't need commentary on the stores.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:24, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

==Stores==

Hmm, looking at the list, I'm wondering if we should make mention of what stores are/should be shut down. I know for a fact that the Circuit City Express, Sam Goody's and Suncoast (of those three, Sam Goody's and Suncoast were owned by the same company) would have shut down (Goody's and Suncoast went under 2007/2008 and Circuit City this past March). Just a suggestion. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:13, 26 September 2009 (CEST)
*Probably not a bad addition. I'm not even sure how many of them are Chris's imagination or if they're all real stores (Christopher's Pizza, April's Sports), that'd be another thing to check. There's a few like the Anna Joy's (bridalwear?) that I've found legitish sites for, I'm just wondering if it's worth adding links for all of them or if it'll clutter up the page too much. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 06:16, 26 September 2009 (CEST)
:*Thirded. It'd be interesting to note which stores are indeed defunct. I'm guessing most of these are legitimate places, just obscure regional stores or independently owned places. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:14, 26 September 2009 (CEST)

== THE ORIGINAL PROJECT FILES WHY HAVEN'T I UPLOADED THIS YET ==

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk

someone deconstruct this for me KTHX [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:51, 12 November 2009 (CET)

SERIOUSLY SOMEONE DECONSTRUCT THIS FOR ME [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:13, 8 February 2010 (UTC)

*My Lord, does this still need doing? If so, drop a message on my talk and I'll get right to it. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:33, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

*Damn, I completely forgot about these. One of these days I'll look into importing this stuff into 3D apps or something. DWG file format may pose a small problem... --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:20, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

SERIOUSLY SOMEONE DECONSTRUCT THIS FOR ME [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:26, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

== Tenants ==

*Dollar Tree has plenty of mall-based stores, even in A-list malls.
*I know of several malls that have more than one sit-down restaurant. This is most common in the former Mills properties (e.g. Gurnee Mills) since they're freaking huge, but it's not unheard of for a mall to have more than one sit-down eatery. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 23:28, 12 February 2010 (UTC)

== Tom Goes To Mayor ==
The mayors office in the mall idea is obviously stolen from tom goes 2 mayor given CWC's adult swim fandom. plz insert that into the article--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 03:37, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
*No, it wasn't. Chris has never alluded to Tom Goes to the Mayor. Also the mayor's office in TGttM is located in a strip mall, not a proper shopping mall. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:38, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

== as of the current revision, this is the problem with the cwcki (one of them) ==

Chris has said that the City of CWCville owns the mall,[1] ...

Locating a mall in a downtown isn't entirely unfeasible, either. ...

these paragraphs are unnecessary. normally i'd just edit them myself but i'm not a cwcki editor, i'm an admin (for now). i'm just pointing out flaws because champ isn't here to do it more tactfully. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:26, 14 August 2010 (PDT)
*It's considered unfeasible, or more appropriately inefficient, because malls generate a lot of traffic. A mall is better situated in an outlying location near suburbs. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:32, 14 August 2010 (PDT)
:*shut up crass :( [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:32, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
*Paragraphs gone. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 14:50, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:*Not sure why I left them there. I think i kept referring to it as a show of uselessness on the cwcki. oh well. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:23, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== Mayor's office in mall==
Funny thing is, the local mall here has a "mini city hall" in it lol -[[User:Galax|Galax]] ([[User talk:Galax|talk]]) 00:10, 12 July 2017 (UTC)

September 2016 Paid Video Requests

2017-06-10T14:56:31Z

Galax: Show, don't tell

{{transcript}}

This page lists the [[Paid Video Requests|video requests]] that Chris was paid to do in September 2016.

==Happy Birthday, Alex==

Despite having an enormously absurd amount of free time, Chris was apparently inclined to fulfill this paid request at an inconvenient moment.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Alex
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hLEzZ45BIWs}}
| stardate = 6 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Ty, here's a song|Happy Birthday, Ty, here's a song]]
| next = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls|Paid Message to the Trolls]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, Alex! This is Christine Chandler coming live to 'ya from home. Pretty much an inconvenient moment... anyway, wish you a happy birthday! I hope you had a good one today anyway.

Bir...

...late in the day then, the day after. Anyway, happy birthday to you, true and honest love fan. Zap to the extreme. Take care, stay safe.

==Paid Message to the Trolls==

Chris answers a paid-request addressed to Kiwi Farms. Chris was inclined to [[Chris and English#Chris and profanity|censor]] the message, albeit allowing the term "vag"—probably because it feeds into his delusion of self-femininity. Throughout reading the message, Chris trails off into elongated, high-pitched muddles—especially when uttering "Criteen". Chris appears unmoved by the contents of this request. Since it's unlikely he recognized the satirical nature of it, Chris probably saw the message as championing him and disparaging the trolls. Yet he responds emotionlessly, "Personal opinion? Eh, whatever."

Chris's TV appears to be on, flickering during the duration of this video.

Unrelated to the request, Chris picks up his toys and performs a skit mocking 2016 presidential candidate, [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]. Representing Trump as an orange block of legos, Chris uses a blue-hair [[Medallions#Christine Doll|effigy of himself]] to kick the block. He pauses for a few moments before mildly exclaiming "Goal!" It's more likely than not, Chris is spoon-fed political views from CollegeHumor<ref>[[$50 for a video holiday greeting!]]</ref> and Lizzy the Lezzy<ref>[[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest]]</ref>.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Paid Message to the Trolls
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EHLD5ABgsfQ}}
| stardate = 7 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Politics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue and White Striped Dress|text}}
| previous = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Alex|Happy Birthday, Alex]]
| next = [[CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
Hello this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from home with a, paid message, to the internet trolls. But specifically, the KiwiFarms. Alright, quote, and I'm censoring the language:

"Hey there everybody. It's your old pal, your old friend, Lord Armstrong! And I'm here to tell all of you *high-pitched beep*, at KiwiFarms, how much I hate all of yous.

First off, what I want (high pitched mocking voice starts) you to do, is leave Christine alone. I love Criteen and *mumbles*. I would do anything for Criteen, anything. I'm the only one fit to see her vaaag. The only one who gets to see Criteen Ch-chandler... Criteen Weston Chandler's vag.

Ook, God, Fuh-you no, fuh-you Hellblazer, fuh-you Flowers for So-Ni-Chuuu, fuh-you Trickie and (high pitched mocking voice ends) Blank for your rip off...comics, that sully Christine's True and Honest work, and most of all, fuh-you LoveYouLongTime for spreading Christine's personal emails about... A-about the lady he was with a few years ago, or she was with years ago. She was the first person of true and honest, to Criteen and loved her forsh-for who she was. Go to heck all of you, sincerely yours, your buddy, your pal, Lord Armstrong."

That's what he said. *sigh* Personal opinion? Eh, whatever. And now for a special bonus. Here is what I say to, orange face. Orange face Donald Trump, and his anti-feministic ways. Trump, you can take a dump! Goal! Thank you, have a good day.

==We Like Pearl==
[[File:Chris_Chan_Gemsona.png|thumb|"I like Pearl's outfit... it's like a little dressy outfit I could wear"]]
In reference to himself and a [[Medallions#Christine Doll|toy]], Chris entitled the video as "We" instead of "I".

Chris's fandom of Steven Universe and his subsequent eagerness to fulfill this request should come as a surprise to no one, as Steven Universe is a cartoon known for its LGBT themes and host of LGBT characters.

Chris goes on a rant describing how he relates to Pearl, his favorite character from the show. Chris identifies with her ability to [[Love Quest|learn from her mistakes]], her [[Honor roll|vast knowledge]], her [[Chris and his ego|understanding of her limitations]], and her [[Chris and English|articulate way of speaking]]. In a more bizarre turn, Chris confesses to coveting the outfit of this cartoon character—who by far has the slenderest figure in the show. How Chris could even imagine himself fitting into such a dress is ludicrous. This harkens back to how he represented himself in the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comics]]; as slim and athletic. It's apparent then that Chris is still in denial over his obesity.

{{Infobox/video
| name = We Like Pearl
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oNeFGKjzLtM}}
| stardate = 27 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}} {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW]]
| next = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Oh, Wait. I've got one more...|Oh, Wait. I've got one more...]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===

Hello! This is Christine Chandler coming to ya live from home, and by special request I'm gonna explain why I like Pearl from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Universe| Steven Universe] amongst the gems. I feel like, uh, she's quite a relatable character she is, she ha- she learns some her mistakes, (sic) I think she knows everything, but then she realizes she's not perfect, she doesn't know everything, and... nobody's supposed to know everything. [pause] And...plus she's a good motivational speaker and teacher, and...she still (unintelligible) and she still (unintelligible) with, uh, (unintelligible) you know, Steven's mom. [Pause] So you could tell she picked up some of the greatness, um, uh, shoot.

[Chris is deep in thought.] I'm trying to think of Steven's mother's name. [Pause] Uh, Rose... Yeah, Rose Quartz, that's it. Anyway, yeah. So anyway, uh... Blue is my favorite color and.... and I like Pearl's outfit. I say, it's like, uh, like [[Chris and Fashion|a little dressy outfit I could wear.]] [Points to the Christine Equestria Girls figure] She could wear. We could wear. [Dog whining in the background]

Anyway, um... Uh... (unintelligible) So anyways, [In a singsong] Pearl, da da da da da... Hm. [[Chris and English|I'm flyin' off the seat of my brain.]] Pearl flies the seat- Pearl flies off the seat of her brain. And when she's baffled, she really flies off the seat of her brain, don't we all. [Does a hair flip] Don't we all. Hm. I know, I should come mo-mo-mo-more prepared, maybe had- Well I don't have a Pearl figure, so whoop dee wow (???)

Hm. Anyway, I like Pearl. Guards of (unintelligible)! Yenno, being part Ruby and Sapphire, that's a nice [[Homos|lovely little lesbian relationship]] right there. Yep. I mean, Amethyst, that's my birth stone. [Chris flashes [[Amnyfest Ring|class ring]]] I'd say that's- But she's likeable too. Anyway, yeah, I like the gems but- mostly can feel related- I can feel related to Pearl. Um, yeah. I binge-watched only like, uh, Season One and some of Season Two through Hulu. And.... -stress sigh- [[Biological clock|Mildly sleepy]]. Oh well. Anyway.... anyway, first new pay for this video request (sic), that I like Pearl too. So there. Mkay. Thank you, and have a good day. [Turns camera off.]

==Oh, Wait. I've got one more...==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Oh, Wait. I've got one more...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|a8uXC-QonL8}}
| stardate = 27 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{Politics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#We Like Pearl|We Like Pearl]]
| next = [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===

==Hello==

Chris's overdue greeting to a Faris and a Pepper.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Hello
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Fi4x_uYF8mE}}
| stardate = 29 [[September 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue and White Striped Dress|text}}
| previous = [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]
| next = [[October 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing Ascension Millenium|Singing Ascension Millenium]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===

Hello Faris and Pepper! I'm sorry for the delay on the greeting y'all and missing that (unintelligible) the original video, but here it is: [Chris waves] Hey Faris! Hi Pepper! Have a good day.

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[August 2016 Paid Video Requests]]|nextlink=[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]}}

{{PoliticalVideos}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:Business]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Death threats

2017-06-09T19:48:56Z

Galax:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

Despite his belief that he is a compassionate, [[GodJesus]]-fearing person, [[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. While it's clear that Chris is no legitimate threat to anyone's lives, the murderous revenge fantasies he has are frequently disturbing in their nature, especially for the often juvenile motivation for such threats. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, shouting into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is. Lately, however, his preferred method of delivery seems to be [[Facebook]], and he has even gone a step beyond what he usually does by trying to post pictures and the personal information of his targets, almost as if he expects the trolls to suddenly take his side and go after them instead of him. ''('''Spoiler:''' They won't.)''

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily accumulated over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While it was once a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats targeted Adam Stackhouse, the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with [[Anna McLerran]]) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst from a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place contestants) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare display of conscience, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologized]] for this death threat...about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and [[Clyde]] murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy--[[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[ED]] page that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being brutally slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped'' by [[Rosechu]]. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris subtly expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[GodJesus]] in his murder plot. [[Chris and religion|They have yet to respond]].

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by someone Chris thought was him?

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL...DIE HIS LIGHTS OUT! IF I EVER MEET THAT BASTARD...IN PERSON.'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive in its own right. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or kept his demands for their deaths relatively infrequent. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

Chris posted [[Don't Mess With Me| another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, intended as an ominous warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he, dressed as [[You Think You're a Man|Divine]], [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===
[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against [[Liquid Chris|the real Chris]], but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Ian manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Ian reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Ian depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Ian produces a handgun ([[Megatron pistol|possibly Decepticon leader Megatron in disguise]]), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Ian missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Ian also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===Vivian Gee===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris opted to use a visual aid. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter from Chris.]]

Vivian revealed in a now-deleted YouTube video that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have the Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later apologized for the threatening message. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same MediaWiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog [[Patti]] maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the Law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the Internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the Internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Scotland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The CWCipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claimed that he would [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in ''LBP2''. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that [[The GAMe PLACe]] would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

The infamous [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur leak] would also reveal multiple wishes made by Chris that Michael should die, including one where he wished Snyder was murdered by gunshot.

===Mimms' Girlfriend===
{{quote|I still want to make Mimms' life the emotional hell he has turned my life into. Somebody, please, kill his girlfriend.|A leaked [[Twitter]] post from 12 [[May 2012]].}}

An archive of his hidden Facebook posts on Imgur revealed an enraged Chris demanding that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend, claiming that he wanted to take away the "[[Women's rights|possession]]" that made Mimms feel happy the most.

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===

Yes, you read that correctly. A [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png leaked Facebook post] revealed that Chris was so bitter about his rejection by Megan, that he wanted to 'exact his fullest revenge' upon her, right before saying that she should be [[Sonichu_10#Trial_of_the_Asperpedia_Four|jailed and beaten]]. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|he follows up this very mean-spirited post by calling ''her'' "vile" and "wicked".]]

===[[CWCki Forums]]===

On 28 April 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.

===[[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] [[CWC-isms|"Lady Manajerk"]]===

After getting his ass [[Mal-Wart#Banished_from_the_region|(rightfully) tossed from Wal-Mart]] by the [[manajerks|manajerk]], Chris threw a tantrum on Facebook, saying that he'll have revenge, and that she would be "FIRED FROM LIFE!"

===Every Single Employee of Sega===
{{Main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

Even the creators of Chris's childhood hero are not safe from death threats. You might think this was because of one (or more) of their horribly underwhelming Sonic games of recent years, but no- Chris made this threat because the 2014 game ''Sonic Boom'' (and the accompanying TV series) changed the color of Sonic's arms from tan to blue.

{{Quote|You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the new Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously '''Watch You All At SEGA DIE''' from this most Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!|Chris, in a typical demonstration of where his priorities are.}}

Oh, and in case you're wondering whose arms Chris was threatening to possibly rip off, the [[Facebook]] post which contained this death threat was accompanied by a shot of an angry Chris holding a soft toy Sonic based off of the ''Sonic Boom'' design. Needless to say, many of his Facebook friends, including [[William Elliott Waterman]], immediately called him out for this absurd overreaction, to no avail. The following month, Chris escalated matters by posting the following to the "[[Keep Sonic Original]]" Facebook group:

{{Quote|WE NEED TO KILL SEGA INTO RECALLING EVERYTHING NOW!!! EVEN IF WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE PUT KNIVES AND BOMBS TO THEIR TROATS!!!|What happens when Chris doesn't get his way.}}

Not surprisingly, Chris was ejected from the group almost immediately. Undeterred, he set up [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|his own group]], where he began making cryptic remarks about putting his "fingernails to Sega's throat." When others questioned him on what exactly he was talking about, he confirmed that yes, this was indeed ''another'' death threat:

{{Quote|But, now I am looking to '''slit their throats''' with my long fingernails to force the Total Recall of Everything Sonic Boom to Fix the Mistake to happen SOONER!|Chris, revealing his unusual choice of assassination weapons.}}

Thus far, Sega have not reacted to Chris's demands, not that this has stopped him from continuing his ''Sonic Boom'' protests, and even [[26 December 2014|escalating them]] to previously unseen levels.

On 9 [[June 2015]], Chris threatened Sega producer [[Omar Woodley]] with physical violence after it was revealed that ''Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice'' will be a thing.

===Donald Trump===
Chris has an intense hatred of President [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], to the point that he made two videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toys<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref>, while saying phrases such as, "And now, we'll stomp Donald Trump's head."

Within hours of Trump's victory in the 2016 Presidential Election, Chris posted an [[November_2016_Facebook_posts#Chris_wants_Trump_assassinated|assassination request]] on Facebook. He also uploaded a [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|video]] of himself attacking one of his toys to show his anger.

It should be noted that calling death on the President of the United States is actually a major offense that can lead to you [http://mashable.com/2016/03/08/secret-service-trump-threats-twitter/#3Y_MJojwhPqB getting a visit from the Secret Service].

===Mike Pence===
On 10 November 2016, Chris also wished death to Vice President-elect [[Wikipedia:Mike Pence|Mike Pence]], likely because he discovered his views can be arguably considered more malicious than Trump's, along with the President-elect Trump on [[Twitter#10 November 2016.3|a Twitter post]]. He wished for Trump and Pence's deaths by January 2017.

===Himself===
Yes, you read that correctly. [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again|After getting in a fender bender on 7 September 2013]], Chris actually [[Chris and anger|snapped]] and prayed ''himself'' dead at the hands of God, similar to his past threat against [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Other===
====[[Harry Potter]]====
Chris's extreme, irrational hatred of the series combined with [[Chris and reality#Fictional Characters and Media|his belief that fictional characters exist on a separate plane of reality]] eventually led him to [[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|threaten to kill Harry Potter]] through a Pokemon card.

Given his desire to kill Harry and his [[Chris and race|beliefs on race]], it could be inferred that Chris is a [[wikipedia:Death Eater|Death Eater]].

==Chris as a recipient==
Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to [[pedofork|photograph his daughter]], this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats==
As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a [[Autism|mentally ill man]] who has endured endless harassment from the [[trolls]] would one day [[Chris and anger|snap]] and [[Strangle_that_Clyde_Cash|attempt to kill somebody]], consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|run at the slightest hint of conflict]], possibly shitting himself in terror in the process ''(If you think that's an exaggeration, see the last paragraph under 'Chris as a recipient' above.)'' Secondly, Chris's poor [[Chris and Health|health]], clear [[Pull-up|lack of exercise]] and [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|slow reaction time]] would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in far worse health than him. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|simply stand there and let him carry out murder]], almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come [[14 Branchland Court|directly to him]], as going out of his [[Chris%27s_room|comfort zone]] is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he [[Miyamoto_Saga#11_January_2009_to_15_January_2009:_Chris_Can.27t_Afford_to_Fly_to_Redmond|wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams]], so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even ''if'' he [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|knew where they all lived]]?

Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old-fashioned round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Chris and anger]]

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Death threats

2017-06-09T19:40:44Z

Galax:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

Despite his belief that he is a compassionate, [[GodJesus]]-fearing person, [[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. While it's clear that Chris is no legitimate threat to anyone's lives, the murderous revenge fantasies he has are frequently disturbing in their nature, especially for the often juvenile motivation for such threats. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, shouting into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is. Lately, however, his preferred method of delivery seems to be [[Facebook]], and he has even gone a step beyond what he usually does by trying to post pictures and the personal information of his targets, almost as if he expects the trolls to suddenly take his side and go after them instead of him. ''('''Spoiler:''' They won't.)''

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily accumulated over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While it was once a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats targeted Adam Stackhouse, the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with [[Anna McLerran]]) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst from a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place contestants) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare display of conscience, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologized]] for this death threat...about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and [[Clyde]] murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy--[[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[ED]] page that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being brutally slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped'' by [[Rosechu]]. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris subtly expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[GodJesus]] in his murder plot. [[Chris and religion|They have yet to respond]].

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by someone Chris thought was him?

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL...DIE HIS LIGHTS OUT! IF I EVER MEET THAT BASTARD...IN PERSON.'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive in its own right. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or kept his demands for their deaths relatively infrequent. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

Chris posted [[Don't Mess With Me| another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, intended as an ominous warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he, dressed as [[You Think You're a Man|Divine]], [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===
[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against [[Liquid Chris|the real Chris]], but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Ian manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Ian reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Ian depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Ian produces a handgun ([[Megatron pistol|possibly Decepticon leader Megatron in disguise]]), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Ian missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Ian also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===Vivian Gee===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris opted to use a visual aid. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter from Chris.]]

Vivian revealed in a now-deleted YouTube video that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have the Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later apologized for the threatening message. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same MediaWiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog [[Patti]] maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the Law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the Internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the Internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Scotland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The CWCipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claimed that he would [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in ''LBP2''. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that [[The GAMe PLACe]] would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

The infamous [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur leak] would also reveal multiple wishes made by Chris that Michael should die, including one where he wished Snyder was murdered by gunshot.

===Mimms' Girlfriend===
{{quote|I still want to make Mimms' life the emotional hell he has turned my life into. Somebody, please, kill his girlfriend.|A leaked [[Twitter]] post from 12 [[May 2012]].}}

An archive of his hidden Facebook posts on Imgur revealed an enraged Chris demanding that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend, claiming that he wanted to take away the "[[Women's rights|possession]]" that made Mimms feel happy the most.

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===

Yes, you read that correctly. A [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png leaked Facebook post] revealed that Chris was so bitter about his rejection by Megan, that he wanted to 'exact his fullest revenge' upon her, right before saying that she should be [[Sonichu_10#Trial_of_the_Asperpedia_Four|jailed and beaten]]. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|he follows up this very mean-spirited post by calling ''her'' "vile" and "wicked".]]

===[[CWCki Forums]]===

On 28 April 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.

===[[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] [[CWC-isms|"Lady Manajerk"]]===

After getting his ass [[Mal-Wart#Banished_from_the_region|(rightfully) tossed from Wal-Mart]] by the [[manajerks|manajerk]], Chris threw a tantrum on Facebook, saying that he'll have revenge, and that she would be "FIRED FROM LIFE!"

===Every Single Employee of Sega===
{{Main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

Even the creators of Chris's childhood hero are not safe from death threats. You might think this was because of one (or more) of their horribly underwhelming Sonic games of recent years, but no- Chris made this threat because the 2014 game ''Sonic Boom'' (and the accompanying TV series) changed the color of Sonic's arms from tan to blue.

{{Quote|You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the new Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously '''Watch You All At SEGA DIE''' from this most Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!|Chris, in a typical demonstration of where his priorities are.}}

Oh, and in case you're wondering whose arms Chris was threatening to possibly rip off, the [[Facebook]] post which contained this death threat was accompanied by a shot of an angry Chris holding a soft toy Sonic based off of the ''Sonic Boom'' design. Needless to say, many of his Facebook friends, including [[William Elliott Waterman]], immediately called him out for this absurd overreaction, to no avail. The following month, Chris escalated matters by posting the following to the "[[Keep Sonic Original]]" Facebook group:

{{Quote|WE NEED TO KILL SEGA INTO RECALLING EVERYTHING NOW!!! EVEN IF WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE PUT KNIVES AND BOMBS TO THEIR TROATS!!!|What happens when Chris doesn't get his way.}}

Not surprisingly, Chris was ejected from the group almost immediately. Undeterred, he set up [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|his own group]], where he began making cryptic remarks about putting his "fingernails to Sega's throat." When others questioned him on what exactly he was talking about, he confirmed that yes, this was indeed ''another'' death threat:

{{Quote|But, now I am looking to '''slit their throats''' with my long fingernails to force the Total Recall of Everything Sonic Boom to Fix the Mistake to happen SOONER!|Chris, revealing his unusual choice of assassination weapons.}}

Thus far, Sega have not reacted to Chris's demands, not that this has stopped him from continuing his ''Sonic Boom'' protests, and even [[26 December 2014|escalating them]] to previously unseen levels.

On 9 [[June 2015]], Chris threatened Sega producer [[Omar Woodley]] with physical violence after it was revealed that ''Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice'' will be a thing.

===Donald Trump===
Chris has an intense hatred of President [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], to the point that he made two videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toys<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref>, while saying phrases such as, "And now, we'll stomp Donald Trump's head."

Within hours of Trump's victory in the 2016 Presidential Election, Chris posted an [[November_2016_Facebook_posts#Chris_wants_Trump_assassinated|assassination request]] on Facebook. He also uploaded a [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|video]] of himself attacking one of his toys to show his anger.

It should be noted that calling death on the President of the United States is actually a major offense that can lead to you [http://mashable.com/2016/03/08/secret-service-trump-threats-twitter/#3Y_MJojwhPqB getting a visit from the Secret Service].

===Mike Pence===
On 10 November 2016, Chris also wished death to Vice President-elect [[Wikipedia:Mike Pence|Mike Pence]], likely because he discovered his views can be arguably considered more malicious than Trump's, along with the President-elect Trump on [[Twitter#10 November 2016.3|a Twitter post]]. He wished for Trump and Pence's deaths by January 2017.

===Himself===
Yes, you read that correctly. [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again|After getting in a fender bender on 7 September 2013]], Chris actually [[Chris and anger|snapped]] and prayed ''himself'' dead at the hands of God, similar to his past threat against [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Other===
==[[Harry Potter]==
Chris's extreme, irrational hatred of the series combined with [[Chris and reality#Fictional Characters and Media|his belief that fictional characters exist on a separate plane of reality]] eventually led him to [[File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|threaten to kill Harry Potter] through a Pokemon card.

Given his desire to kill Harry and his [[Chris and race|beliefs on race]], it could be inferred that Chris is a [[wikipedia:Death Eater|Death Eater]].

==Chris as a recipient==
Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to [[pedofork|photograph his daughter]], this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats==
As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a [[Autism|mentally ill man]] who has endured endless harassment from the [[trolls]] would one day [[Chris and anger|snap]] and [[Strangle_that_Clyde_Cash|attempt to kill somebody]], consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|run at the slightest hint of conflict]], possibly shitting himself in terror in the process ''(If you think that's an exaggeration, see the last paragraph under 'Chris as a recipient' above.)'' Secondly, Chris's poor [[Chris and Health|health]], clear [[Pull-up|lack of exercise]] and [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|slow reaction time]] would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in far worse health than him. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|simply stand there and let him carry out murder]], almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come [[14 Branchland Court|directly to him]], as going out of his [[Chris%27s_room|comfort zone]] is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he [[Miyamoto_Saga#11_January_2009_to_15_January_2009:_Chris_Can.27t_Afford_to_Fly_to_Redmond|wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams]], so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even ''if'' he [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|knew where they all lived]]?

Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old-fashioned round of [[America's favorite game|Kick the Autistic]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Chris and anger]]

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

List of cards from The Wall of Originals

2017-06-09T18:29:39Z

Galax: /* Custom Pokémon Cards */

Because Chris's [[Chris and writing|handwriting]] is hard to decipher, the following is a '''transcription of each card on [[The Wall of Originals]]''', to make them easier to read.

== Custom [[Pokémon]] Cards ==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Pokemon
|-
! Card
! Name
! Evolution
! Type
! HP
! Pokemon Power
! Attack1
! Attack2
! Weakness
! Resistance
! Retreat Cost
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:Luigi2.gif|150px]]
| Luigi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wrench''' 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Wave''' Discard 1 [[Image:Water-attack.png]] attached to Luigi to use it; flip a coin, if heads, opponent is PAR. 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| [''largely illegible, something like "Produces pipes and drains"''] LV. 30
| April 25, [[1999]]
|-
| [[Image:Espan.gif|150px]]
| Españolic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] '''Español Confusion''' Flip a coin. If heads, the opponent is confused. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in [[Spanish]] Countries. It confuses its enemies with its language. LV.10
| [[Chris's birthday|February 24]], 1999
|-
| [[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|150px]]
| Españolic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] '''Español Confusion''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in Spanish Countries. It confuses its enemies with its language. LV.10
| February 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Vega.gif|150px]]
| Vegaton
| Stage 1: Evolves from Españolic
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' Discard 1 [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] attached to Vegaton. 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spanish Fly''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is asleep. 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| More colorful than Españolic. Vegaton can create rainbows. LV.33
| March 13, 1999
|-
| [[Image:333-Vegaton.jpg|150px]]
| Vegaton
| Stage 1: Evolves from Españolic
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spanish Fly''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is asleep. 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| More colorful than Españolic. Vegaton can create rainbows. LV.32
| March 13, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Blue.gif|150px]]
| Blue
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fairy Powder''' Flip a coin, if tails, opponent is asleep. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused as a real fairy, it can put its enemies to sleep with powder. LV.26
| April 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Baniru.gif|150px]]
| Baniru
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is PAR. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Togepi.gif|150px]]
| Togepi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Egg Bomb''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The first thing it sees, it pictures it as its mother. LV.10, #153
| April 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Dhct.gif|150px]]
| (illegible, supposed to be 'Mixed Up Farfetch'd)
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Broken Stick''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| [''illegible''] its master, it attacks with [''illegible'']
| April 23, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Missin.gif|150px]]
| Missingno.
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sky Attack''' 30
| ?
| ?
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| ??? LV. 30 #00
| April 23, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Bush.gif|150px]]
| Bushwacked
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Stun Spore''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in rain forests, it can hide behind trees. LV.34
| May 5, 1999
|-
| [[Image:334-Bushwacked.jpg|150px]]
| Bushwacked
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Stun Spore''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in rain forests, it can hide behind trees. LV.34
| May 5, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Koffin.gif|150px]]
| Koffingroo
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Dizzy Punch''' 30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Poison Breath''' Defending Pokemon is poisoned and confused.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known for its bad breath, the spikes on its gloves inject poison. LV.30
| July 6, 1999
|-
| [[Image:335-Koffingroo.jpg|150px]]
| Koffingroo
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Dizzy Punch''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Poison Breath''' The Defending Pokemon is now poisoned and confused.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known for its bad breath, the spikes on its gloves inject poison. LV.30
| July 6, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Drum.gif|150px]]
| Drummor
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sonicboom''' Does 10 damage to each Pokemon on opponent's bench. 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Known an a noisy Pokemon, it can K.O. its enemies with soundwaves. LV.22
| April 10, 1999
|-
| [[Image:336-Drummor.jpg|150px]]
| Drummor
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sonicboom''' Do not apply weakness and resistance for this attack. 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Known an a noisy Pokemon, it can K.O. its enemies with soundwaves. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Cym.gif|150px]]
| Cymbolic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Drummor
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Cymbal Clash''' If Cymbolic is hit during last turn, opponent takes 10 damage (don't apply weakness and resistance).
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Hard Clash''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| With a cymbal on its head, its booms are thunderous. And it can do a comical rif on its legs. LV.30
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:337-Cymbolic.jpg|150px]]
| Cymbolic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Drummor
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Cymbal Clash''' If the Defending Pokemon's attack did damage to Cymbolic, the Defending Pokemon get 10 damage (do not apply weakness and resistance). This power does not work if Cymbolic is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Hard Clash''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| With a cymbal on its head, its booms are thunderous. And it can do a comical rif on its legs. LV.30
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Flashb.gif|150px]]
| Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''String Shot''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is paralyzed. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| None
| Confused for a PokeFlute, it can light even the darkest forest. LV.7
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''String Shot''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| None
| Confused for a PokeFlute, it can light even the darkest forests. LV.7
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Coon.gif|150px]]
| Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin, if heads, prevents damage done during opponent's next turn.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Electric Jolt''' 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the brightest Pokemon. It is brighter than the sun. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:339-Coonbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin. If heads, all damage to Coonbulb done during your next turn are prevented. Any other effects still occur.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Electric Jolt''' 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the brightest Pokemon. It is brighter than the sun. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Bugz.gif|150px]]
| Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Reflect''' If opponent's attack did damage, half damage is taken to that Pokemon. Doesn't work if Bugzapp is asleep, PAR, etc.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Shine Shock''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found near street lamps at night, its wings reflect light.
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:340-Bugzapp.jpg|150px]]
| Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Reflect''' If your opponent's attack did damage to Bugzapp, (illegible). This power doesn't work if Bugzapp is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Shine Shock''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Found near street lamps at night, its wings reflect light. It can also fly up to 1,000 miles high. LV.32
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:341-CWCsFlashbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Leech Life''' Remove a number of damage counters from Christian's Flashbulb equal to the damage done to the Defending Pokemon (after applying weakness and resistance). If Christian's Flashbulb has fewer damage counters than that, remove all of them. 10
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| None
| LV.10
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:342-CWCsCoonbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, all damage is prevented (any other effects still occur).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 25
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:343-CWCsBugzapp.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wing Attack''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunderbolt''' Discard all energy cards attached to Christian's Bugzapp in order to use this attack. 80
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 36
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:Weeler.gif|150px]]
| Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to leave a trail behind it, originally a Voltorb got stuck in a tire. LV. 23
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:344-Weeler.jpg|150px]]
| Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to leave a trail behind it, originally a Voltorb got stuck in a tire. LV. 23
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Hotfin.gif|150px]]
| Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Weeler
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin, if heads, all effects of attack and damage done to Hotfinish. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fin Slap''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Faster than a Rapidash, it can light its path at night. LV. 34
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:345-Hotfinish.jpg|150px]]
| Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Weeler
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fin Slap''' 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack during your opponent's next turn. 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Faster than a Rapidash, it can light its path at night. LV. 34
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Strgtre.gif|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Damage''' Once during your turn, flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon gets 20 damage. Won't work if Strongtire is asleep, paralyzed, or confused.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tire Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Evolves from fast Pokemon, it has the strength of two Machamp. LV. 50
| August 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:346-Strongtire1.jpg|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Damage''' Once, during your turn, you may flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon gets 10 damage (Don't apply weakness and resistance). This Power does not work if Strongtire is asleep, confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tire Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Evolves from fast Pokemon, it has the strength of two Machamp. LV. 50
| August 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:347-Strongtire2.jpg|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' This attack does 70 damage minus 10 damage for each damage counter on Strongtire. 70-
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Seismic Toss''' 60
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Strong and powerful it can lift or jump over a (illegible) story building. LV. 46
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:348-CWCsWeeler.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 18
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:349-CWCsHotfinish.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Weeleer
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Stop Light''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Run Over''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 32
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:350-CWCsStrongtire.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 100
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Strongtire are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 50
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 48
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:Comfrg.gif|150px]]
| Compufrog
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Conversion1''' If defending Pokemon has a weakness, you may change it to any color other than colorless.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Confuse Ray''' Flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Made from computer programming, it is found near lakes and swamps. LV. 23
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:351-Compufrog.jpg|150px]]
| Compufrog
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Conversion1''' If the defending Pokemon has a weakness, change it to a color of your choice, other than colorless.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Confuse Ray''' Flip a coin. If heads, the defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Made from computer programming, it is often found near lakes and swamps. LV. 12
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Snuble.gif|150px]]
| Snubble
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Doubleslap''' Flip 2 coins, does 10 damage times # of heads. 10x
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused as a real fairy, it can put its enemies to sleep with powder.
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Marril.gif|150px]]
| Marril
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' Does 10 damage +10 damage for each [[Image:Water-attack.png]] energy card attached to Marril, not used to pay attack cost. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused for Pikachu, it has exceptional electric attacks. LV. 24 #154
| August 27, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Yoshi.gif|150px]]
| Yoshi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tongue Wrap''' Flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Kick''' 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to have a long tongue, and is hungry, it mostly is found with Luigi. LV. 26
| August 30, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Plautistic.gif|150px]]
| Plautistic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Psyshock''' Flip a coin. If heads, opponent is PAR. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The only Pokemon that has autism, it can disable its own attacks. LV. 30
| November 22, 1999
|-
| [[Image:352-Plautistic.jpg|150px]]
| Plautistic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Psyshock''' Flip a coin. If heads the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The only Pokemon in the world with Autism. It can disable its own attacks. LV. 30
| November 22, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Donphan.gif|150px]]
| Donphan
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]'''RAM''' Donphan does 10 damage to itself. If opponent has any benched Pokemon, switch with active (damage before switch). 50
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known to charge at random, its armor can withstand explosions. LV. 26
| November 25, 1999
|-
| [[Image:SonchuC.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spin Dash''' After doing damage, if your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them and switch it with his/her Active Pokemon. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the 7 Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu evolved into a Sonichu. LV. 36
| March 17, 2000
|-
| [[Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]](illegible)
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]](illegible)
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:CwcsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Chaos Power''' If your Active Pokemon's attack does damage to the Defending Pokemon (after applying weakness and resistance), that attack does 10 more damage. This power does not work if Sonichu is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 25
| April 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:DrksonC.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Lightning Speed''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 20+20 damage, and the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, it does 20 damage. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Whenever Sonichu is full of anger, it runs it off while leaving a firey trail behind it. LV. 26
| May 11, 2000
|-
| [[Image:SrfsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Surfing Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, the attack does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Surf''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Loves to surf the waves and run laps on beach shores, it can also run on water. LV. 35.
| June 1, 2000
|-
| [[Image:SnwsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Snowboarding Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 10+20 damage. If tails, does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Snowboard Kick''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 20+20 damage, and the defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, does 20 damage. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Always going to the extreme, it can do cool tricks going down a snowy hill. LV. 37
| June 2, 2000
|-
| [[Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Sonichu are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 28
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| '''Card Roulette''' Once during your turn, before your attack, you may flip a coin. If heads, you may draw 2 cards. If tails, you may draw 1 card. This Power does not work if Sonichu is asleep, confused or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lucky Spin Dash''' Flip a coin. If heads, your opponent must discard the top 5 cards from his/her deck. If tails, your opponent may draw 1 card. 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the 7 Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu transformed into a Sonichu. LV. 28
| February 3, 2001
|-
| [[Image:175-SchuBday.jpg|150px]]
| _________'s Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Birthday Wish''' If it is not your Birthday, the attack does 30 damage. If it is your Birthday, flip a coin. If heads, choose whether the Defending Pokemon is now Asleep, Confused or Paralyzed. 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Your Birthdate:_________. LV. 20
| February 21, 2001
|-
| [[Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Defense Curl''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all damage done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn (any other effects of attack still happen).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Sonichu are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the fastest Pokemon alive, it can beat a Dodrio in a foot-race around the world. LV. 34
| February 22, 2001
|-
| [[Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Racing Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vroom-a-Zoom-Zoom''' 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Stop Light''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The Sonichu car can go up to 200 mph. Sonichu enjoys showing off his car and riding through the countryside. LV. 25
| March 1, 2001
|-
| [[Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Shining Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Supersonic Quick Dash''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 40+20 damage. If tails, this attack does 40 damage. Either way, if your opponent has any benched Pokemon on his or her bench, flip another coin. If heads, do 20 damage to each Pokemon on your opponent's bench (do not apply weakness and resistance on benched Pokemon). 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| At certain speeds while running, it collects energy from the air, and it can not be seen by the naked eye. LV. 37
| February 20, 2002
|-
| [[Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu & Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 160
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Super Team Attack''' Flip a number of coins for each Sonichu and Rosechu in play (yours and your opponent's). This attack does 60 damage +10 damage for each heads. If you get more than 4 heads, shuffle Sonichu & Rosechu and all cards attached to it into your deck. 60+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Sonichu and Rosechu love each other so much, that neither one ever forgets the other's Birthday. LV. 40
| March 16, 2002
|-
| [[Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spin Dash''' After doing damage, if your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them and switch it with his/her active Pokemon. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the seven Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu transformed into a Sonichu. LV. 36
| July 16, 2002
|-
| [[Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Speed Scan''' Draw the top 5 cards of your deck, rearrange them as you like, then put them back on top of your deck.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Speed Scan''' Draw the top 5 cards of your deck, rearrange them as you like, then put them back on top of your deck.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu ex
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 120
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Plasma''' If there are any Basic Energy Cards in your Discard Pile, flip a coin. If heads, attach one to Sonichu ex. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Extremespeed''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 40 + 30 damage. If tails, the attack does 40 damage. 40+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunderbolt''' Discard all Lightning Energy Cards attached to Sonichu ex in order to use this attack. 100
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:250-BlachuCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]'''Black Rings''' Flip 2 coins. For each heads, do 20 damage to each of all Pokemon in play, except [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] types and Pokemon with Dark in their names (Don't apply weakness and resistance for this attack).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Surprise Thunder''' Flip a coin. If heads, flip another coin. If the second coin is heads, do 20 damage to each of your opponent's benched Pokemon. If the second coin is tails, do 10 damage to each of your opponent's benched Pokemon (Don't apply weakness and resistance for benched Pokemon). 30
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Created in Giovanni's lab, this is Sonichu's evil twin. The only differences are their color, shoes, and one is evil. LV. 21
| July 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:251-GiosBchu.jpg|150px]]
| Giovanni's Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rage''' This attack does 10 damage +10 damage for each damage counter on Giovanni's Black Sonichu. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunderpunch''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 30+10 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage, and Giovanni's Black Sonichu does 10 damage to itself. 30+
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 20
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:252-BlachuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Evil Dash''' 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, if any, and do 10 damage to it (do not apply weakness and resistance to Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:259-WildCard.jpg|150px]]
| Wild Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' 30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 40
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]] -30
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Punchy Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunderpunch''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 40 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage to the Defending Pokemon, and 10 damage to Punchy. 30+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sky Uppercut''' This attack's damage is not affected by resistance. 50
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:279-MagiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Psychic''' This attack does 10 + 10 damage for each Energy Card attached to the Defending Pokemon. 10+
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| February 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:209-Metonic1.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 100
| '''Power of Knight''' When you play Metonic from your hand, you may flip a coin. If heads, take up to 2 Energy Cards from your discard pile and put them into your hand.
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Iron Tail''' Flip a coin. If heads, all damage done to Metonic during your opponent's next turn is reduced by 20 (after applying weakness and resistance). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Metonic's armor adds weight, so he can not do a Spin Dash. But his speed stays the same, and his spikes are diamond-sharp. LV. 52
| February 20, 2001
|-
| [[Image:210-Metonic2.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' If your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them, and this attack does 10 damage to that Pokemon (don't apply weakness and resistance to Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Metonic's armor adds weight, so he can't do a Spin Dash. But his speed stays the same, and his spikes are diamond-sharp. LV. 55
| April 13, 2000
|-
| [[Image:216-UltSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 140
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Extreme Speed''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 30 + 20 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage. 30+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Gigashock''' Choose up to 3 of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, and this attack does 10 damage to each of them (don't apply weakness and resistance for Benched Pokemon). 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Knockout Thunder''' Flip 2 coins. If both coins are heads, this attack does 50 + 50 damage. If one or both coins are tails, this attack does 50 damage. 50+
| None
| None
| None
| (small drawing of the Seven Chaos Emeralds) Lv. 55
| March 28, 2002
|-
| [[Image:217-UltSchuEX.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu ex
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu ex
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 200
| '''Sonichu Heroes''' For each other Pokemon with Sonichu or Rosechu in its name that are in play, Team Blast's base damage increases by 10.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Team Blast''' 50
| None
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Sonee
| Baby: Evolves into Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+10 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| None
| Known to have a lot of spunk and speed, this cute Pokemon packs a lot of action. LV. 10
| December 21, 2000
|-
| [[Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Rose Zap''' Flip a coin. If heads, The Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Shock''' Does 20 damage +10 damage for each Sonichu in play. Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Many Sonichu from around the world fall in love by Rosechu's beauty and passion. Rosechu's favorite flower is the rose Zapbud. LV. 30
| December 22, 2000
|-
| [[Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Girl Power''' This attack does 10 damage + 10 damage for each Pokemon with Rosechu in their names in play. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Swift''' This attack is not affected by weakness, resistance, pokemon powers, or any other effects of attack. 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Many Sonichu from around the world fall in love by Rosechu's beauty and passion. Rosechu's favorite flower is the rose Zapbud. LV. 20
| December 22, 2000
|-
| [[Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Slap''' Flip 3 coins. The attack does 10 damage for each heads. 10x
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:264-BubblesCard.jpg|150px]]
| Bubbles Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, if any, and do 10 damage to it (don't apply weakness and resistance for Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Surf''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:269-AngelicaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Angelica Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wing Attack''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| None
| December 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:245-VamprosaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Vamprosa
| Stage 1: Evolves from Rosechu
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]]'''Mean Look''' The Defending Pokemon can't retreat as long as Vamprosa remains your Active Pokemon (Benching or evolving either Pokemon ends this effect).
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Its bite can suck the life out of its enemies. Its cape gives it the ability to fly. LV. 43
| March 14, 2001
|-
| [[Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Rosey
| Baby: Evolves into Rosechu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Cute Wink''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon can not attack during your opponent's next turn (Benching or Evolving either Pokemon ends the effect).
| None
| None
| None
| None
| Its cuteness always get the awe of its enemies. When it falls, its skirt acts as a parachute. LV. 6
| February 22, 2001
|-
| [[Image:353-Kelbie.jpg|150px]]
| Kelbie
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Sleep Powder''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is asleep. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Sister Call''' Search your deck for a Basic Pokemon named Kelbie and add it to your Bench (If your Bench is full, the attack does not work). Shuffle your deck afterwords.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Under its shell back is Kelbie's growing hair. It stays calm and peaceful in tough situations. LV. 10
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:354-Annchop.jpg|150px]]
| Annchop
| Stage 1: Evolves from Kelbie
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' Does 40 damage minus 10 times the number of damage counters on Annchop. 40-
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 50
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Annchop's blonde hair reflects the amount of strength she has. Annchop fights with power. LV. 26
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:355-Kixfairy.jpg|150px]]
| Kixfairy
| Stage 2: Evolves from Annchop
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lure''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon and switch it with his/her Active Pokemon.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Magic Wand''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 30
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| As being the spunky pixie, Kixfairy can fly high, spreading joy with its wand. LV. 42
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:356-CWCsKelbie.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Kelbie
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lullibye''' The Defending Pokemon is now asleep.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| LV. 12
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:357-CWCsAnnchop.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Annchop
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Kelbie
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Leer''' Flip a coin. If heads, your opponent can not attack during his/her next turn (Benching or Evolving either Pokemon ends the effect).
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' The attack does 50 damage -10 for each damage counter on Christian's Annchop.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 28
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:358-CWCsKixfairy.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Kixfairy
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Annchop
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Pixie Dust''' During your turn (before your attack), you may flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, your Active Pokemon is paralyzed. This power does not work if Christian's Kixfairy is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Kixfairy are prevented. 30
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 38
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Christian
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Help''' While Christian is in play, you may have up to 6 Pokemon on your bench. This power works, even if Christian is Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| May 9, 2000
|-
| [[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Christian
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 70
| '''Potter Rage''' When you play Dark Christian from your hand, ask your opponent if he or she loves Harry Potter more than Pokemon. If he/she says, or hints towards, YES, his or her Active Pokemon becomes knocked out.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Pokemon Revive''' If you have space on your Bench, put a Basic Pokemon from your discard pile onto your Bench (this attack's effect will not work if your Bench is full, but either way, this attack still does its damage). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Christian says, "Kill Harry Potter, Revive Pokemon!" LV. 20
| March 25, 2002
|-
| [[Image:098-CWCCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Christian Chandler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 100
| '''Heart Fix''' Once during your turn, you may remove up to 3 damage counters from Christian. This PokePower does not work if Christian is affected by a Special Condition.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lonesome Punch''' If Christian has more than 50 damage on him, the attack does 30 damage. 60-
| None
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| February 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:359-Chicachu.jpg|150px]]
| Chicachu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tail Ring''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Chicachu.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Boyfriends''' Does 10 damage + 10 more for each Pikachu in play. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| Known as the Female Pikachu. Its tail ring protects it from defensive attacks. LV. 11
| September 7, 2000
|-
| [[Image:360-Maychu.jpg|150px]]
| Maychu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Chicachu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Lure''' If your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose one of them and switch it with the Defending Pokemon.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Lightning''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 30+20 damage, and the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 30+
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Quick with grace and passion. It can lure a crowd of Raichu with a [[Creepy stare|come hither stare.]] LV. 38
| September 7, 2000
|-
| [[Image:CwcchiC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Chicachu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+ 10 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| None
| LV. 13
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:CwcmayC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Maychu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Chicachu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Kick''' 40
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 40
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:363-Evails1.jpg|150px]]
| Evails
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tail Whirl''' Flip 2 coins. This attack does 30 damage times the number of heads. 30x
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Cute, but packs a wallop. Watch out for its 2-Tail attack. LV. 12
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:364-Evails2.jpg|150px]]
| Evails
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Gust''' 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fly''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Evails. If tails, this attack does nothing (not even damage). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Cute, but packs a wallop, watch out for its 2-tail attack. LV. 13
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:365-Supreon.jpg|150px]]
| Supreon
| Stage 1: Evolves from Evails
| (non-existent energy symbol with red, yellow, and blue colors)
| 90
| '''Rainbow Force''' When you attach a Rainbow Energy card from your hand to one of your Pokemon while Supreon is in play, don't do the Rainbow Energy's damage. This power works even if Supreon is Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Tri Attack''' Flip 3 coins. If only 1 is heads, the Defending Pokemon is Asleep. If exactly 2 are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Confused. If all 3 are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 40
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Shines like a rainbow, stings like a bee. This Pokemon flies faster than you can see. LV. 40
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:366-Armat1.jpg|150px]]
| Armat
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Scratch''' 10
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Ember''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]] Energy in order to use this attack. 30
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Small in stature, it conceals its sharp claws and it leaves a nasty burn. LV. 12
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:367-Armat2.jpg|150px]]
| Armat
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Feline Call''' Search your deck for a Basic Pokemon named Armat, and put it on your Bench. Shuffle your deck afterwords (this attack does not work if your bench is full).
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Iron Tail''' Flip a coin. If heads, reduce all damage done to Armat by 20 during your opponent's next turn (after applying weakness and resistance). 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Small in stature, it conceals its sharp claws and it leaves a nasty burn. LV. 13
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:368-Steeline.jpg|150px]]
| Steeline
| Stage 1: Evolves from Armat
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 90
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Flamethrower''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]] Energy card in order to use this attack. 50
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Metal Claw''' Flip a coin. If heads, Steeline's next attack will increase by 20 (no matter which attack). 40
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Sleek and quick. Its armor is hollow, which allows free movement. LV. 47
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:369-DSteeline.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Steeline
| Stage 1: Evolves from Armat
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]
| 70
| '''Dark Wave''' (illegible)
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]][[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]]'''Fire Blast''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png|25px]] Energy card in order to use this attack. 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| If you intimidate Steeline in any way, it will scratch you terribly. LV. 37
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:370-Techti.jpg|150px]]
| Techti
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Computerize''' If you use Zap Cannon during your next turn, treat all tails as if they were heads. And flip a coin. If heads, draw a card.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Zap Cannon''' Flip 2 coins. If both coins are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. If one or both coins are tails, this attack does nothing (not even damage). 40
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Lives in [[computers]]; it loves to mess up your hard drive. LV. 20
| April 5, 2002
|-
| [[Image:371-Cytiger.jpg|150px]]
| Cytiger
| Stage 1: Evolves from Techti
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 100
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Technokick''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Shock Virus''' Flip 3 coins. For each heads, this attack does 20 damage, and if the Defending Pokemon has any Energy cards attached to it, choose one and discard it. 20x
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Roaming through cyberspace, it is dangerous only to computers, Porygon and Porygon2. LV. 60
| April 5, 2002
|-
| [[Image:372-Booloon.jpg|150px]]
| Booloon
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]][[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Night Shade''' Don't apply weakness, resistance, Pokemon Powers. If your opponent has used, or attached, any Trainers, or used an attack that would change the damage, all those effects do not work. 30
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Transparent with Air, the only thing that will scare a Booloon is a pin. LV. 20
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:373-Squirskun.jpg|150px]]
| Squirskun
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Stink-Up''' All of your opponent's Pokemon Powers stop working until the end of his/her next turn.
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Smokescreen''' If the Defending Pokemon tries to attack during your opponent's next turn, he/she flips a coin. If tails, that attack does nothing. 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Mostly found in Paris, France, these Pokemon swim to other countries to find cultural love. LV. 21
| (illegible)
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Trainers
|-
! Card
! Name
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:256-EvilEnergy.jpg|150px]]
| Evil Energy Special Energy Card
| If the Pokemon Evil Energy is attached to does damage to the Defending Pokemon, choose whether the Defending Pokemon is Confused or Poisoned. Put 1 damage counter on the Pokemon Evil Energy is attached to, unless it's [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] or has Dark in its name. Evil Energy provides [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] Energy. (Doesn't count as a basic energy card).
| March 21, 2002
|-
| [[Image:SonTrn.gif|150px]]
| Sonic the Hedgehog
| Discard 2 cards from your hand, and remove up to 2 damage counters from all Pokemon, Benched and Atctive.
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:376-STHTrainer.jpg|150px]]
| Sonic the Hedgehog
| Discard 2 cards from your hand in order to use this Trainer. Remove 2 Damage Counters from all your Pokemon with Damage Counters.
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:CWCtrn.jpg|150px]]
| Christian W. Chandler
| You and your opponent each must switch his/her Active Pokemon for one from their bench. The player who showed this card must switch first, then your opponent must switch his/her Pokemon.
| September 26, 1999
|-
| [[Image:101-ChristianC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian C.
| You and your opponent each must switch his/her Active Pokemon for one from their bench. The Player who played this card must switch first, then your opponent must switch his/her Ppkemon.
| September 26, 1999
|-
| [[Image:158-Cwc City Gym.jpg|150px]]
| Cwick City Gym Stadium Card
| This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium card comes into play. During each player's turn, that player may attach 1 Energy card to a Pokemon with Christian in its name (this does not use up the 1 Energy attachment for that player's turn).
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:150-MTS.jpg|150px]]
| Mystery-to-Solve
| Remove 2 Damage Counters from all Pokemon in play (yours and your opponent's), draw 2 cards, do 30 Damage to the Defending Pokemon (don't apply weakness and resistance), and your turn ends without an attack.
| November 17, 2001
|-
| [[Image:377-TurboRainbow.jpg|150px]]
| Turbo Rainbow
| All energy cards attaced to any of your Pokemon in play will now count as Rainbow Energy cards (no damage will be made in this process) for the rest of your turn.
| February 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:378-Whammy.jpg|150px]]
| Whammy!!!...
| Flip a coin. If heads, Draw 2 cards. If tails, discard 2 cards from the top of your deck, and discard 2 cards from your hand.
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:225-SchuBall1.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu Ball
| Flip a coin. If heads, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves to, from or has Sonichu, or Rosechu, in its name. Show it to your opponent, and put it into your hand. Shuffle your deck afterwards.
| April 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:374-ChaosEmerald.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Emerald Pokemon Tool
| Attach Chaos Emerald to one of your Pokemon that doesn't already have a Pokemon Tool attached to it. Whenever the Pokemon Chaos Emerald is attached to has 20 HP or less, you may flip a coin. If heads, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves from this Pokemon, and attach it to the Pokemon (this counts as evolving said Pokemon). After you fliped, discard the Chaos Emerald.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:379-Bulk.jpg|150px]]
| Bulk and Skull Power Ranger card
| Flip a coin. If heads, do 60 damage to the Defending Pokemon, then, if your opponent has any Pokemon on his/her bench, choose one, and do 20 damage to it (don't apply weakness and resistance to either Pokemon). If tails, shuffle your opponent's deck, and discard the top 5 cards (If there are less than 5 cards, discard all of them). Either way, your turn ends without an attack.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:224-SchuZord.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu Zord Power Ranger Zord
| Attach this card to your Active Pokemon. Discard this card only when that Pokemon is Knocked Out. Whenever that Pokemon attacks, the attack does 20 more damage (after applying weakness and resistance). And when the Defending Pokemon attacks, reduce the damage by 20 (before applying weakness and resistance) If your Active Pokemon gets switched with one from your Bench, attach this card to that Pokemon.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:380-ShineyStadium.jpg|150px]]
| Shiney Stadium Stadium Card
| This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium card comes into play. Damage done to all Pokemon with Shining in their names is reduced by 20 (before applying weakness and resistance).
| May 15, 2002
|-
| [[Image:102-HookedOnSonichu1.jpg|150px]]
| Hooked on Sonichu
| Take all Energy cards attached to a Pokemon with Sonichu in its name, and attach them to another one of your Pokemon with Sonichu in its name.
| November 29, 2001
|-
| [[Image:103-CWCsMaint.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Maintenance Supporter
| You can play only one Supporter card each turn. When you play this card, put it next to your Active Pokemon. When your turn ends, discard this card. You can't play this card if you have more than seven cards in your hand, including this one. Shuffle 2 cards from your hand into your deck, then draw a number of cards until you have seven cards in your hand.
| September 7, 2002
|-
| [[Image:186-edgehogsInLove.jpg|150px]]
| Hedgehogs in Love
| For each Pokemon that evolves to or has Sonichu ro Rosechu in its name, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves from that card and place it on that card (this counts as evolving) shuffle your deck afterwards. Then remove up to 3 damage counters on each Pokemon that evolved in this way.
| April 1, 2003
|-
| [[Image:Cwcdex.gif|150px]]
| Pokedex
| I'm Dexter, a Pokedex programmed by Prof. Oak for Pokemon Trainer, Christian W. Chandler of Ruckersville & Richmond, VA
Pokemon Trainer: Christian W. Chandler
| August 25, 1999
|}

==See also==
*[[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]] [[Category:Lists]] [[Category: Relics of Fail]]

Harry Potter

2017-06-09T17:14:03Z

Galax:

[[File:Harrypottertroll.jpg|thumb|If only Chris had bothered to read it, he would have known how to deal with [[trolls]].]]

'''Harry Potter''' is the protagonist of the popular eponymous fantasy book series written by [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] from [[1997]] to [[2007]], about a boy with [[Chris the Shaman|magical powers]] who attends a secret academy that teaches witchcraft. Despite (or perhaps because of) being a massive phenomenon that rivaled even ''[[Pokémon]]'' and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Chris never got into the series. As a result, it is one of the few mainstream works that never got bastardized in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]. It is also notable that Chris hates the series with an illogical passion.

== Chris and the series ==
As with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] and ''[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]]'', Chris's hatred of ''Harry Potter'' is highly irrational and based primarily on a warped version of [[Chris and brand loyalty|brand loyalty]]. Chris's hatred of ''Harry Potter'' grew out of the incorrect assumption that the books had destroyed the ''Pokémon'' fad.<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 2#Chris Hates Harry|Mumble #2]]</ref> This is highly bizarre, as anyone who was a kid in the late [[1990s]] knows that the mortal enemy of ''Pokémon'' was [[Wikipedia:Digimon|''Digimon'']] (which Chris didn't mind).<ref>[[IRC (26 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref> One can safely assume that Chris, being highly ignorant of the literary world beyond ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'', did not even become aware of the series' existence until the first movie ''The Philosopher's Stone'' (''The Sorcerer's Stone'' in the United States) was released in [[2001]].

Another possible explanation for Chris's hatred of the series could be [[Chris and religion|religious doctrine]]; many Christians have opposed the series since its release for encouraging an interest in witchcraft and the occult. However, given Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|signature move]], this is highly unlikely.

As per his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], he has personally referred to Harry as a "[[Slow-in-the-minds|total Spaz]]",<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref> at one point even ''[[Death threats|threatening to kill]]'' him.<ref>[[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|"Dark Christian" card]] from the [[Wall of Originals]]</ref>

== Mentions by Chris ==
* Most notable is the "Dark Christian" card from [[The Wall of Originals]], which has a special ability that allows it to instantly win if the opponent likes ''Harry Potter'', or if the opponent ''seems'' to like ''Harry Potter''.
* Chris placed a [[Wikipedia:Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (video game)|''Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'']] (''Philosopher's Stone'' outside of America) PlayStation game for sale on [[eBay]] on 2 [[April 2008]], but [[Kickstarter|failed to sell it]].
* While attempting to promote his owly collaboration with [[The Wallflower]], Chris put aside his dislike of the franchise to compare the talking owls in his planned story to the non-talking owls in ''Harry Potter'' and the non-existent owls in [[Wikipedia:The Lord of the Rings|''The Lord of the Rings'']].<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails #2]]</ref>
* Chris and [[Jackie]] also discussed ''Harry Potter''; Chris claimed his dislike of the series was "water under the bridge now" and "stupid." He also seemed interested in the ''[[Lego|Lego Harry Potter]]'' game.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>
* Jackie also got Chris to make the video "[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]" (she requested the title "i put on my robe and wizard hat"): Chris dresses up as a wizard and states that he is from [[Wikipedia:Hogwarts|Hogwarts]]. He also threatens to use a "spell or two" on [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|those who have cursed his name]].
* In [[October 2015]] Chris reaffirmed on [[Facebook]], "I hardly cared much for the Potter. I never read the books or seen the movies."
* On 12 [[February 2016]], Chris mentions it in his [[Apologies_for_offending_people|apology video]], saying, "Harry Potter is okay, too. He's okay. I got- don't really have much against him except that he was in competition with Pokemon so many years ago."

== References ==
<references/>

[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Homos

2017-06-09T16:33:35Z

Galax: /* Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; [[China|Vaginas]] and [[Plush breasts|Boobies]] Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.|Chris evolves.<ref>[[January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He has also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" makes him uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects. Chris's ire for male homosexuals is confusing, since they, of all people, pose the least threat to his [[Love Quest]], and seems to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

At various times, most recently following his coming out as a "[[Tomgirl|transgender]] [[Gaybian|lesbian]]" in [[2014]], Chris has seemingly recanted previous homophobic statements, claiming to have become fully supportive of equality and human rights. In nearly every case, this has been at the request of a gal-pal or sweetheart, and like most of his [[Chris and remorse|apologies]] has been insincere. He apparently remains repulsed and unnerved by homosexual men on a personal level.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause him to be "leered off the straight path." His terror has been such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He seems to struggle with intrusive homosexual thoughts; he has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle]] without being "freaked out."<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s pro-gay advertisements. Nothing will get Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris's homophobia seems to have emerged sometime in 2006, as his very earliest expression of anxiety is his classic "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]," released in February 2007. At no time before this, either in his comics or his [[diary]] or his private correspondence, does he make any reference to homosexuality. It apparently grew out of the complex stew of his [[noviophobia]], his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for [[My Little Pony|girly toys]], his own [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]], his loathing of [[muscle bra|male bodies]], and [[autism]].
[[File:Taking it in the briefs.JPG|thumb|right|You're making this painfully obvious, Chris.]]

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on [[vibrator]]s and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris uses many strange and totemic objects, from a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|poster of Sailor Moon]] to his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge Simpson's ''Playboy'' edition]] was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris has also encouraged women to not [[Alcohol|drink]], [[Tobacky|smoke]], or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. <ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education</ref> hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get [[dating education]] classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris is not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hates all gay men. This animosity seems to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] must be gay. It also reveals a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris uses "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only [[Vivian Gee|demonstrably false]], but in fact [[Chris and reality|completely delusional]], since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male [[JERKS]] and inversely-proportional adoration of [[Gal-pals|women]].

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain [[wikipedia:Heinrich Himmler|Herr Himmler]] had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(02_January_2009)</ref>}}

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

The universe of [[CWCville]] has also seen an anti-gay jihad. On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck</ref> When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia:Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon [[pickle]]. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would ''not'' win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly [[Bob]] had an influence, as the [[Matthew Noble call]] showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male [[JERKS]]. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with ''one'' woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

Chris knows that his homophobia is unpopular with his fans, and he has often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrays his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|18 February 2009]], for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|a mere month later]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], Chris posted a "[[music]]" [[video]] called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''. Later on that same day, he published an [[I'm Sorry, Dude|apology]] for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

More recently, not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

{{quote|I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).|Chris, surprisingly redeemable.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homo''phobes'', illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and [[Chris and his Ego|has personal flaws]].

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, [[Reldnahc]], his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.<ref>Commissions</ref>

On 26 [[June 2015]], the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

{{Quotebox|Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and [[List of Chris's lies|identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime]]. I never could appreciate the [[JERK|male's]] Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of [[Women's Rights|fashions, makeup, shopping]], [[Chris and remorse|empathy]], identifying feelings and [[Death threats|looking to resolve problems]] [[Sub-episodes|reasonably]].

Plus, I have a great deal of [[Chris and Anger|self control]], and I can bring good and pleasant [[semen|tidings]] to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬}}

In [[October 2015]], Chris released a [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|video]] in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Sonichu 10]] and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre [[Nombie-zazis|Nazi zombie]] premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE the homos!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''[[List of Chris's lies|I. Am. STRAIGHT!]]'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

===“Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler’s Address to the Homosexuals===
On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, [[Chris and anger|hate-fuelled]] rant on the [[CWCipedia]] which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full:

{{quotebox|
Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and '''Stress''' FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND '''OVER Infinite Number Of Times''', ''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT.'' '''[[Tomgirl Saga|No Question or]] [[Gaybian|Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.]]'''

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; '''NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW.''' Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, ''I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up.'' I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

''The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being '''Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.'''''

I am aware of the way I [[Speech impediment|stutter]], space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, ''I am Sometimes Retarded.''

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because '''the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY'''; kept down with the ''Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend''. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, '''I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING''' (''Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory)''. [[Honor roll|It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old]], during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my '''Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages'''; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, '''The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever!''' I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that '''PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT''', No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

'''I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.'''

I have also heard of My Sonichu being ''written in College Essays that promote homosexuality.'' And even worse, ''promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades.'' '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' ''[[Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc|ALL Sonichus Are Straight!]] [[Silvana Rosechu|ALL Rosechus Are Straight!]] I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS.'' I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

'''So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT!''' ''NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!''

<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, '''The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.
'''

''I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight. Period.
''

Thank you.}}

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated [[JERKS]] in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

===Chris the lesbian===
[[File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.]]
On 14 [[August 2014]], Chris posted on his [[Facebook]] page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref> He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 [[October 2014]], Chris spent that [[Halloween]] at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref> further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was [[Chris and hypocrisy|THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life]].

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a lesbian male isn't actually a real thing. The idea of a "lesbian in man's body" is just something a guy might google after [[mass debating]], and Chris's citation of '''Yahoo! Answers''' to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Whether or not Chris has had a turn of heart, and realized the error of his ways when it comes to homosexuality, we'll just have to wait and see. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Chris's identification as a lesbian is closely tied to the next subject...

== Chris and transsexuality ==
{{quote|Tranny Pride, Worldwide!|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014<ref>[[Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]][[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender."]]

Given that Chris lacks basic [[English]] skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl''. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.

That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

{{quote|I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref>}}

Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when [[Wikipedia:Bailey Jay|Bailey Jay]] introduced herself to Chris in a [[Mailbag]] letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons."<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!]] and [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.

After becoming a [[tomgirl]] in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref> He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Does Chris Want the Operation?===
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his [[duck]]. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref> He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:

{{quote|Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.|Chris, apropos of nothing<ref>[[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community]]</ref>}}

He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."<ref>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref>

For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for [[JERKS]] and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,

{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be [[Jack Thaddeus]]) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref>

In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend [[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee]] to serve as the vessel for Crystal.<ref>[[Semen#Donation]]</ref> So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.

The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an [[Attraction Sign]]. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

===In CWCville===
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community. After Chris modified his gender identity, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Robee Sonichu]] also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian. In May 2015 he confirmed that [[Comic Chris]] was a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to ''impregnate himself'' with a turkey baster and give birth to twins.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.

==Evidence against Chris's heterosexuality==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|[[Niggos|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the [[Autistic dick|harder]] Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the less so he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Chris has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood, and began this collecting way before ''Friendship is Magic'' premiered.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his "friends" were female and he never slept with any of them (despite his best efforts to do so).
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat with Julie]], Chris revealed that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Max]] told Chris to suck his pickle, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "no", although this could simply be his autistic mind trying to cope with hyperbole. Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his duck when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a pussy. While you might be thinking that it's just a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his duck.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put a large dildo up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a male character, on his duck.
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs|sex logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* His absolute revulsion to seeing other men's pickles. If Chris was truly straight, he would not be uncomfortable seeing other men's penises because he would have no interest in them sexually.
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]], Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a [[gaybian]]. He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When Julie finally revealed herself as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by [[Nudes|close-up pictures of his buttcheeks and anus]], not that anybody of any orientation would find it erotic.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]] is pink.
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]], which are essentially hair clips, which are essentially women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* Chris wears a [[bra]]. In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" at the CWCipedia, you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he owns a copy of the first ''[[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' movie when he showcased his then-current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a duck.
* In the above same Trollin Train post, he mentioned achieving comeuppance before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [[:File:Punchylaylalove.jpg|wearing panties and a bra]].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks suspiciously like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He voluntarily dressed up as a woman, went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When Bob learned of Chris's antics, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On 29 April 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It's not that cold]] shows Chris infamously saying, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind, all in an attempt to re-enact ''The Silence of the Lambs''.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
* The fact that he thinks that ''staring at a poster'' will keep himself straight implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of Sailor Moon, a gay icon, will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd "riddle" on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the Sphinx. It's worth noting that [http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay, lemon cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals], Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage], hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken], and the sphinx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act slang for oral sex], which may refer to his duck.
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common, albeit dated, code for homosexuality--"Left ear buccaneer, right ear queer."
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germain, the voice actress of Rarity from ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' (among many others), to gay icon Judy Garland.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[YouTube]].<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref>
* In his August 2014 Facebook posts, Chris identified himself as a 'tranny' and a 'Ho Mo' ''(for the ladies, [[Chris_and_English|according to him]])'', placed a marriage equality support symbol on his page's banner, and spoke about women being "supportive" of his choices. He's blissfully unaware (or ''outright doesn't care'') that all of this makes him look like he's come out of the closet. Not to mention, he calls himself a derogatory term for transsexuals.
* He [[October_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_hits_up_a_gay_bar_.28seriously.29|went to a gay bar on Halloween 2014]].
* He is a member of the local [https://www.facebook.com/groups/eventsatimpuslegsc gay club] on facebook.
* He once glitterbombed Sega. Glitterbombing was started by the gay community as a way to protest opponents of gay marriage.
* His [[26 December 2014|can of mace]] is colored pink.
* He posted a story on [[Facebook]] about him as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] having sex with [[Magi-chan]] and getting pregnant.
* The tote bag he used at [[OmegaCon]] had a marriage equality logo and the words "TOTES GAY" written in bold capitals on it.
* In his [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]] video, his song mentions how his true love had given him "drag kings, and the transmales that have "not" have the operation change yet".
* Chris once stated that [[It's not that cold|he would fuck himself.]]

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Tomgirl]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

It's not that cold

2017-06-09T16:31:36Z

Galax: /* Transcript */

'''It's not that cold''', also known as '''101 2464''', is a bizarre, ''[[Random-access humor|surreal]]'' video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[August 2011]]. In it, Chris is directly outside of his house, dressed in a red [[muscle bra]] and an [[Chris and fashion|ill-fitting miniskirt]]. Chris "digs up" [[Patti]], wears her fur as a coat, and poorly hums the song "[[wikipedia:Goodbye Horses|Goodbye Horses]]" by Q Lazzarus while making references to ''[[wikipedia:The Silence of the Lambs (film)|The Silence of the Lambs]]'' (fitting, considering the extent to which Tomgirl Chris resembles Jame Gumb). However, it's far more likely that he's simply imitating a scene that parodies it from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Stew-Roids", where Chris Griffin is exposed on film doing the exact same thing.
[[File:ChrisBill.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Thankfully Chris isn't nearly intelligent enough to get away with murder.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = It's not that cold
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FTS2n3A7Gzc}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
| next = [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Would you mount and do me.jpg|thumb|right|Reality was much more horrifying.]]
''[Chris walks into frame and crosses his arms over his chest. He shakes his head]''

Ooh...brrr...ooh, sure is cold out here...ooohh. Could really use, uh, somethin' to...k-keep me warm right now...or something.

[''Chris begins to mime digging a hole. As he starts humming, he then puts on the Safety Parka and wraps fur around his neck, holding it in place'']

There we are! All nice and snuggley warm...and cozy. Thank you [[Patti Chandler|Patti]]! Now we are [[speech impediment|togedder]], forever.

[''continues humming, and shows his ass to the camera, pulling up his skirt'']

Would you fuck me, [[/cwc/|789chan]]? [[Chris and his ego|I'd fuck me.]]

[''Chris pats his ass, continues humming and begins to dance around like [[Wikipedia:Buffalo Bill (character)|Buffalo Bill]] before sauntering over to the camera'']

I'd--[''The video cuts off before Chris continues'']

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Silence Of The Chris-Trans
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JIZkf_hKGmA}}
| maker = KeithTheL00N
| stardate = 10 August 2011
| type = Fake Movie Trailer
}}

{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = He's Baaaaaaaaaack!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UlihS-rSnV4}}
| maker = DrNurse
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| type = Welcome Home Tribute
}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]|nextlink=[[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-09 i]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

Facebook

2017-06-02T20:01:31Z

Galax: Piping

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Needs Updating}}
{{Dated}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Beel|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' has been [[Chris]]'s other means of communication, aside from [[MySpace]], on his [[Love Quest]]. It is currently his primary interface with the outside world.

Chris probably established his first Facebook account in January 2008. It was reportedly hacked on 17 September of that year. On 31 May 2009, it was hacked again, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard. While often overlooked, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]]. Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris, but two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account. Since then, it has become a multipurpose communication tool. It is his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]], but he has also left occasional open notes for trolls; talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]], [[Kim]], and [[William]]; and whored his [[EBay]] merchandise. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Chris's first Facebook account profile==
This is presumably what his profile looked like at the time it was hacked in May 2009. While some text is missing, it appears to be similar to his [[MySpace]] account at that time. Trolls also discovered a series of [[Facebook messages|messages]] and [[Facebook statuses|statuses]] associated with this account.

===Basic Information===
[[File:Facebook profile pic.jpeg|left]]
{{-}}
Networks - [[Charlottesville]], VA

Sex - Male

Birthday - February 24, 1982

Hometown - [[Ruckersville]], VA

Relationship Status - Single

Interested in - Women

Looking for - Friendship, Dating, A Relationship, Random play

Political Views - Moderate

[[Chris and religion|Religious Views]] - Christian

===Personal Information===
====Activities====
I enjoy drawing, listening to [[music]], playing [[video games]] and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yu-Gi-Oh]] card games. I also like anime, creating with [[LEGO|Lego]] pieces, [[My Little Pony]], [[Transformers]], and I love my parents. And sometimes, I work on my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu Site]], http:sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm. As for my video game systems, I have a Commodore 64 computer, NES, Game Boy, GB Color, GBA, GBA SP, SNES, Genesis/Sega CD/32-X, Game Gear, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, PS2, PSP, Nintendo Gamecube, and a Nintendo DS.

I go to the [[Game Place|Comic Game & Hobby Place]], next to the Staples, across from the Omni Hotel (for Pokemon League) on Fridays 5:00 - 7:00 PM.

And I am hangin' around at the University of Virginia's [text omitted]

====Favorite Quotations====
Not a quote, but an astrological fact. I was born under the Sign of PISCES, the sign of the PROVIDER.

I am [[Financhu Crisis|fully capable of providing the necessities]], and then some, for the [[ego|Lucky Woman]] who loves me for me, and becomes my True Sweetheart.

<3 :)

====About Me====
I am young at heart, because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Legos, My Little Pony, and drawing cartoonishly. I am also creator of my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. I have been drawing and writing comic books, and I've drawn/written quite a few issues so far. I have graduated from [[Manchester High School]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[PVCC]] with two [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] Degrees, May 2006. I am shy, but I would really enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes some of the things I do, with a few opposite traits (excluding [[tobacky|smokers]] and [[alcohol|drunks]]). I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't like to be alone. I would prefer Person-to-person encounters/chats instead of over the internet, but please feel free to send me a message or comments.

Not to brag, but I took two separate HTML classes, and then learned more around the net. I highly reccomend learning HTML. Although HTML word processors and Generators spells out the details of a page in a nutshell, it really helps to know the language so you can jazz it up more your way later (in the Notepad or in the Profile/Group Editor). Learning to Know is Past Cool!

I SO Need a Cute Girl to make into a Sweetheart-Soulmate from the ground-up, because I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE AND SAD in the Long-Run.

Also, did you know that male/female couples live longer than a single person; I heard it on the [[John Tesh]] Radio Show.

And I HAVE A DREAM... I dream that I will become a Good Father for my future, daughter, who I will lovingly name *[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]*, alongside my Future Sweetheart/Soulmate (my future wife/her mother). :)

I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is [text omitted]. I have not had the best of luck with my search for a Sweetheart-Soulmate in my past. There was a lot of [[Hanna|lying and backstabbing]] done to me, and I'm looking for someone who is [[List of Chris's lies|honest]], caring and will love me for who I am.

===Contact Information===
'''Email:'''

itsamecwc@aol.com

katiebaybug@gmail.com

'''AIM:''' CWCSonichu

'''Website:'''

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|http://www.sonichu.net]]

[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|http://sonichu-roschu.blogspot.com]]

[[MySpace|http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc]]

===Education and Work===
'''Colleges:'''

[[PVCC|Piedmont Virginia Community College]] '06

[[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design (CADD)]]

[[University of Virginia|University of Virgina]]

[[Sweetheart Search]]

'''High School:'''

[[Manchester High School]] '00

===Groups===
Member of: One Body of Christ Experiment (all Christians on Facebook), Adult Swim We Love/Hate, [[I Love Lucy]]...the daughter of the devil, Before I liked girls, I liked the Pink Power Ranger!, Amy Jo Johnson Fan Club, Sonic The Hedgehog, Fans of Monica Rial

==Chris's current Facebook account profile==
Chris's suffering at the hands of the trolls has, over the past several years, taught him to be more cautious about sharing personal information. In particular, he no longer sees much point in using Facebook as an attraction sign, and he is more circumspect about selling himself to strangers. Hence, his current profile (as of 2015) is pared down compared to the original.

===Details About Christian===

I am an all-around, [[Death threats|good natured]], high-functioning autistic, Female Lesbian Soul, and Transwoman, [[Chris and art|artist]], gamer and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] type.

I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, and the city of Cwcville, VA.

(IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) [This line was eventually deleted.]

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. :)

===Other Names===

Other: Christine Weston Chandler

Nickname: [[Spanish|Ricardo]]

Birth Name: Christopher Weston Chandler

===Relationship===

Single

===Contact and Basic Info===
Birthday: February 24, 1982

Gender: Male

Interested In: Women

Languages: English · Spanish

Religious Views: Baptized Methodist

[Apparently in April 2015, Chris added: "Some serious; delightful to know and talk about."]

Political Views: [[Death_threats#Donald_Trump|Moderate]]

On 20 April 2015, Chris changed his gender to "Lesbian TransWoman: Female, Lesbian Soul in Male Body," and also clarified that the preferred pronoun was "She."

On 22 August 2015, Chris again revised the gender entry to read: "Lipstick Lesbian Transwoman: Wild, Exotic, Femme Female Soul in male bod."

===Life Events===
1982 - Born on February 24, [[1982]]

<gallery>
File:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg
</gallery>

1996 - Started School at [[Manchester High School]]

<gallery>
File:Manchester 2000.jpg
</gallery>

2000 - Graduated from Manchester High School

<gallery>
File:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg
</gallery>

2000 - Started School at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

[On 3 September 2013, Chris added:]

I was banned from an English Class, because I overreacted and misunderstood an assignment, and the Male Professor [[Kick the Autistic|had a beef against Autistic People]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], "Dean of Student Services", overreacted and interfered with my early [[Sweetheart Search]] days. [[Chris and reality|She made it obvious that True Love was Illegal]] in the state of [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia]], or at least [[Charlottesville]], VA. She banned me from PVCC to seek psychiatry and anger management before resuming to get my [[CADD]] Degree. Years later, after I apologized for making her out to be a witch, Mary Lee Walsh Permanently banned me from Piedmont Virginia Community College What a crazy bitch.

2006 - Graduated from Piedmont Virginia Community College

<gallery>
File:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg
</gallery>

2014 - [[Catherine|In a Relationship]]

Chris provides no information about his favorite movies, TV shows, music, or games. Over time he has reviewed a few institutions as the mood strikes him. He is a member of four public groups: [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], the Manchester High Sports Page, "[[October 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar...Seriously|Events at Impulse Gay Social Club]]," and "Children's [[Autism]] Hope Project."

==Photos Commented on by Chris==
Photos commented on by Chris not uploaded by himself. Found through Facebook's graph search feature.
{{gallery
|Photos commented on by Chris
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris.jpeg|Chris accuses his friend of trying to look like him.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris2.jpeg|Chris wishes Brian Smart, formerly Sarah Bevel's boyfriend, a happy life with his new wife.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris3.jpeg|Chris talks about the removal of his baby teeth.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris4.jpeg|Chris finds his friend's drawing of Anna cute.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris5.jpeg|Chris likes LEGOs.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris6.jpeg|Chris likes sandwiches.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris7.jpeg|Aww.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris8.jpeg|Chris is attracted to Linnea Hiltzheimer.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris9.jpeg|Unfortunately, Linnea is not a Boyfriend-Free Girl.

</gallery>}}

==Facebook Shares and Likes==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|Mother-Son Couple Arrested For Incest Attempt to Change How We Look at Romance
|http://www.warpedspeed.com/incest-in-new-mexico-and-the-myth-of-love-equality/?utm_content=inf_17_1166_2&tse_id=INF_315063905f1611e6b7dc69ca5c618d1d
|10 August 2016
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
[[File:Facebookpic.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Chris's profile pic during his brief 2011 Facebook presence.]]
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuels this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26 May 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==The End?==
On 2 [[July 2015]], Chris's Facebook account was set to private. While the reasons for the disruption are unknown, it can likely be chalked up to Chris bending the rules of the website [[Chris and the Internet|as per]] [[Wikipedia|usual]]. His infractions have included sexually explicit artwork, screenshots of sexting, death threats to Sega employees, and linking to a Wikipedia article about tribadism with a sexual image as a thumbnail.

Later on the next day, Chris's account was put back online.

==Gallery==
{{gallery
|Gallery of interesting Facebook-related material
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens...
File:Facebook2.jpg|...and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
File:KTLi61d.png|
File:MegagiHatesYou.jpg|
File:CWCFacebook4October.png|
File:GamePlaceRevelations.png|
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]

==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 Current Facebook profile (CwcvilleGuardian)]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album]
{{Facebook}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Facebook]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Facebook

2017-06-02T19:51:00Z

Galax: /* Favorite Quotations */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Needs Updating}}
{{Dated}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Beel|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' has been [[Chris]]'s other means of communication, aside from [[MySpace]], on his [[Love Quest]]. It is currently his primary interface with the outside world.

Chris probably established his first Facebook account in January 2008. It was reportedly hacked on 17 September of that year. On 31 May 2009, it was hacked again, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard. While often overlooked, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]]. Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris, but two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account. Since then, it has become a multipurpose communication tool. It is his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]], but he has also left occasional open notes for trolls; talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]], [[Kim]], and [[William]]; and whored his [[EBay]] merchandise. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Chris's first Facebook account profile==
This is presumably what his profile looked like at the time it was hacked in May 2009. While some text is missing, it appears to be similar to his [[MySpace]] account at that time. Trolls also discovered a series of [[Facebook messages|messages]] and [[Facebook statuses|statuses]] associated with this account.

===Basic Information===
[[File:Facebook profile pic.jpeg|left]]
{{-}}
Networks - [[Charlottesville]], VA

Sex - Male

Birthday - February 24, 1982

Hometown - [[Ruckersville]], VA

Relationship Status - Single

Interested in - Women

Looking for - Friendship, Dating, A Relationship, Random play

Political Views - Moderate

[[Chris and religion|Religious Views]] - Christian

===Personal Information===
====Activities====
I enjoy drawing, listening to [[music]], playing [[video games]] and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yu-Gi-Oh]] card games. I also like anime, creating with [[LEGO|Lego]] pieces, [[My Little Pony]], [[Transformers]], and I love my parents. And sometimes, I work on my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu Site]], http:sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm. As for my video game systems, I have a Commodore 64 computer, NES, Game Boy, GB Color, GBA, GBA SP, SNES, Genesis/Sega CD/32-X, Game Gear, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, PS2, PSP, Nintendo Gamecube, and a Nintendo DS.

I go to the [[Game Place|Comic Game & Hobby Place]], next to the Staples, across from the Omni Hotel (for Pokemon League) on Fridays 5:00 - 7:00 PM.

And I am hangin' around at the University of Virginia's [text omitted]

====Favorite Quotations====
Not a quote, but an astrological fact. I was born under the Sign of PISCES, the sign of the PROVIDER.

I am [[Financhu Crisis|fully capable of providing the necessities]], and then some, for the [[ego|Lucky Woman]] who loves me for me, and becomes my True Sweetheart.

<3 :)

====About Me====
I am young at heart, because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Legos, My Little Pony, and drawing cartoonishly. I am also creator of my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. I have been drawing and writing comic books, and I've drawn/written quite a few issues so far. I have graduated from [[Manchester High School]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[PVCC]] with two [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] Degrees, May 2006. I am shy, but I would really enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes some of the things I do, with a few opposite traits (excluding [[tobacky|smokers]] and [[alcohol|drunks]]). I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't like to be alone. I would prefer Person-to-person encounters/chats instead of over the internet, but please feel free to send me a message or comments.

Not to brag, but I took two separate HTML classes, and then learned more around the net. I highly reccomend learning HTML. Although HTML word processors and Generators spells out the details of a page in a nutshell, it really helps to know the language so you can jazz it up more your way later (in the Notepad or in the Profile/Group Editor). Learning to Know is Past Cool!

I SO Need a Cute Girl to make into a Sweetheart-Soulmate from the ground-up, because I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE AND SAD in the Long-Run.

Also, did you know that male/female couples live longer than a single person; I heard it on the [[John Tesh]] Radio Show.

And I HAVE A DREAM... I dream that I will become a Good Father for my future, daughter, who I will lovingly name *[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]*, alongside my Future Sweetheart/Soulmate (my future wife/her mother). :)

I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is [text omitted]. I have not had the best of luck with my search for a Sweetheart-Soulmate in my past. There was a lot of [[Hanna|lying and backstabbing]] done to me, and I'm looking for someone who is honest, caring and will love me for who I am.

===Contact Information===
'''Email:'''

itsamecwc@aol.com

katiebaybug@gmail.com

'''AIM:''' CWCSonichu

'''Website:'''

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|http://www.sonichu.net]]

[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|http://sonichu-roschu.blogspot.com]]

[[MySpace|http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc]]

===Education and Work===
'''Colleges:'''

[[PVCC|Piedmont Virginia Community College]] '06

[[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design (CADD)]]

[[University of Virginia|University of Virgina]]

[[Sweetheart Search]]

'''High School:'''

[[Manchester High School]] '00

===Groups===
Member of: One Body of Christ Experiment (all Christians on Facebook), Adult Swim We Love/Hate, [[I Love Lucy]]...the daughter of the devil, Before I liked girls, I liked the Pink Power Ranger!, Amy Jo Johnson Fan Club, Sonic The Hedgehog, Fans of Monica Rial

==Chris's current Facebook account profile==
Chris's suffering at the hands of the trolls has, over the past several years, taught him to be more cautious about sharing personal information. In particular, he no longer sees much point in using Facebook as an attraction sign, and he is more circumspect about selling himself to strangers. Hence, his current profile (as of 2015) is pared down compared to the original.

===Details About Christian===

I am an all-around, [[Death threats|good natured]], high-functioning autistic, Female Lesbian Soul, and Transwoman, [[Chris and art|artist]], gamer and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] type.

I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, and the city of Cwcville, VA.

(IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) [This line was eventually deleted.]

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. :)

===Other Names===

Other: Christine Weston Chandler

Nickname: [[Spanish|Ricardo]]

Birth Name: Christopher Weston Chandler

===Relationship===

Single

===Contact and Basic Info===
Birthday: February 24, 1982

Gender: Male

Interested In: Women

Languages: English · Spanish

Religious Views: Baptized Methodist

[Apparently in April 2015, Chris added: "Some serious; delightful to know and talk about."]

Political Views: [[Death_threats#Donald_Trump|Moderate]]

On 20 April 2015, Chris changed his gender to "Lesbian TransWoman: Female, Lesbian Soul in Male Body," and also clarified that the preferred pronoun was "She."

On 22 August 2015, Chris again revised the gender entry to read: "Lipstick Lesbian Transwoman: Wild, Exotic, Femme Female Soul in male bod."

===Life Events===
1982 - Born on February 24, [[1982]]

<gallery>
File:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg
</gallery>

1996 - Started School at [[Manchester High School]]

<gallery>
File:Manchester 2000.jpg
</gallery>

2000 - Graduated from Manchester High School

<gallery>
File:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg
</gallery>

2000 - Started School at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

[On 3 September 2013, Chris added:]

I was banned from an English Class, because I overreacted and misunderstood an assignment, and the Male Professor had a beef against Autistic People. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], "Dean of Student Services", overreacted and interfered with my early [[Sweetheart Search]] days. [[Chris and reality|She made it obvious that True Love was Illegal]] in the state of [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia]], or at least [[Charlottesville]], VA. She banned me from PVCC to seek psychiatry and anger management before resuming to get my [[CADD]] Degree. Years later, after I apologized for making her out to be a witch, Mary Lee Walsh Permanently banned me from Piedmont Virginia Community College What a crazy bitch.

2006 - Graduated from Piedmont Virginia Community College

<gallery>
File:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg
</gallery>

2014 - [[Catherine|In a Relationship]]

Chris provides no information about his favorite movies, TV shows, music, or games. Over time he has reviewed a few institutions as the mood strikes him. He is a member of four public groups: [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], the Manchester High Sports Page, "[[October 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris Hits Up a Gay Bar...Seriously|Events at Impulse Gay Social Club]]," and "Children's [[Autism]] Hope Project."

==Photos Commented on by Chris==
Photos commented on by Chris not uploaded by himself. Found through Facebook's graph search feature.
{{gallery
|Photos commented on by Chris
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris.jpeg|Chris accuses his friend of trying to look like him.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris2.jpeg|Chris wishes Brian Smart, formerly Sarah Bevel's boyfriend, a happy life with his new wife.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris3.jpeg|Chris talks about the removal of his baby teeth.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris4.jpeg|Chris finds his friend's drawing of Anna cute.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris5.jpeg|Chris likes LEGOs.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris6.jpeg|Chris likes sandwiches.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris7.jpeg|Aww.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris8.jpeg|Chris is attracted to Linnea Hiltzheimer.
Image:PhotoCommentedOnByChris9.jpeg|Unfortunately, Linnea is not a Boyfriend-Free Girl.

</gallery>}}

==Facebook Shares and Likes==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|Mother-Son Couple Arrested For Incest Attempt to Change How We Look at Romance
|http://www.warpedspeed.com/incest-in-new-mexico-and-the-myth-of-love-equality/?utm_content=inf_17_1166_2&tse_id=INF_315063905f1611e6b7dc69ca5c618d1d
|10 August 2016
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
[[File:Facebookpic.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Chris's profile pic during his brief 2011 Facebook presence.]]
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuels this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26 May 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==The End?==
On 2 [[July 2015]], Chris's Facebook account was set to private. While the reasons for the disruption are unknown, it can likely be chalked up to Chris bending the rules of the website [[Chris and the Internet|as per]] [[Wikipedia|usual]]. His infractions have included sexually explicit artwork, screenshots of sexting, death threats to Sega employees, and linking to a Wikipedia article about tribadism with a sexual image as a thumbnail.

Later on the next day, Chris's account was put back online.

==Gallery==
{{gallery
|Gallery of interesting Facebook-related material
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens...
File:Facebook2.jpg|...and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
File:KTLi61d.png|
File:MegagiHatesYou.jpg|
File:CWCFacebook4October.png|
File:GamePlaceRevelations.png|
</gallery>}}

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]

==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 Current Facebook profile (CwcvilleGuardian)]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album]
{{Facebook}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Facebook]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

CWCki talk:Donations

2017-05-31T23:49:07Z

Galax: Created page with "I know user donations are essential to wikis like this since ads aren't allowed, but does anyone find it kind of funny in an ironic sort of way that the donation button is nea..."

I know user donations are essential to wikis like this since ads aren't allowed, but does anyone find it kind of funny in an ironic sort of way that the donation button is nearly right next to a counter dedicated to tracking Chris's begs for donations on the main page? - [[User:Galax|Galax]] 4:52, 31 May 2017 (PST)

List of Chris's lies

2017-05-03T16:19:28Z

Galax: /* Chris's lies */

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.|A classic lie from [[Mailbag 52]].}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bald-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|true and honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie told out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining true and honest.

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence, and will contradict his lies with even more lies. The end result is that Chris is more or less a compulsive liar.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on his bullshit, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document as many of Chris's blatant falsehoods as possible. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a riding lawnmower to do it (though, in Chris's defense, it's entirely possible that mowing a lawn even with the aid of a riding lawnmower could have been genuinely physically demanding for hom [[Chris and health|given what we know about his health]]).
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite consenting to the photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds (~27 kilograms).
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.
* Chris has stated that he has D-cup breasts. Kiwi Farms users have determined that they are actually A-cups.
* Chris did a promotion where if someone sent him a PS4 for his birthday, they would get a $500 coupon for his custom made Sonichu Amiibos. Obviously nobody sent him a PS4, but that didn't stop him from saying someone did. He claims someone named Kagney Lynn bought him the PS4, but closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself.
* In [[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]], Chris lied about his Etsy shop being on vacation, when it had been forcibly closed by Etsy staff, due to repeated complaints that he was not delivering orders. He also lied about working to set up a Zazzle shop; he decided to [[beg]] for handouts over the next several months instead.
* Chris lied about seeing a doctor about the [[Un-clit 2.0]] and later about the picture being an elaborate troll.
* Chris continually lied about his "creative groove" being "killed" because [[Lulu]] banned him. In reality, he had stopped work on the comic long before that happened, and he had even solved the publisher problem within a month, by sneaking back onto Lulu under an alternate name.
* Chris repeatedly lied about his reason for selling [[EBay|his father's stamp collection]], claiming he needed money for bills but immediately spending it all on toys<ref>[[Financhu Crisis]] - see March 2017</ref>.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2017-05-03T16:17:09Z

Galax: /* Chris's lies */

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.|A classic lie from [[Mailbag 52]].}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bald-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|true and honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie told out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining true and honest.

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence, and will contradict his lies with even more lies. The end result is that Chris is more or less a compulsive liar.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on his bullshit, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document as many of Chris's blatant falsehoods as possible. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a riding lawnmower to do it (though, in Chris's defense, it's entirely possible that mowing the lawn even with the aid of a riding lawnmower could have been genuinely physically demanding given [[Chris and health|given what we know about his health]]).
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite consenting to the photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds (~27 kilograms).
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.
* Chris has stated that he has D-cup breasts. Kiwi Farms users have determined that they are actually A-cups.
* Chris did a promotion where if someone sent him a PS4 for his birthday, they would get a $500 coupon for his custom made Sonichu Amiibos. Obviously nobody sent him a PS4, but that didn't stop him from saying someone did. He claims someone named Kagney Lynn bought him the PS4, but closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself.
* In [[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]], Chris lied about his Etsy shop being on vacation, when it had been forcibly closed by Etsy staff, due to repeated complaints that he was not delivering orders. He also lied about working to set up a Zazzle shop; he decided to [[beg]] for handouts over the next several months instead.
* Chris lied about seeing a doctor about the [[Un-clit 2.0]] and later about the picture being an elaborate troll.
* Chris continually lied about his "creative groove" being "killed" because [[Lulu]] banned him. In reality, he had stopped work on the comic long before that happened, and he had even solved the publisher problem within a month, by sneaking back onto Lulu under an alternate name.
* Chris repeatedly lied about his reason for selling [[EBay|his father's stamp collection]], claiming he needed money for bills but immediately spending it all on toys<ref>[[Financhu Crisis]] - see March 2017</ref>.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]