CWCki - User contributions [en]

Template:Da update

2012-05-16T01:14:16Z

Galford: Added references for easier access.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*13 [[May 2012|May]] - Eight old photographs of Chris are released, five from 11 November 2010 and three from 1 March 2011. Notable features include the last known wearing of the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallion]], Chris's nasty [[hair]] and a proto-[[Tomgirl]] look.
*12 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris posts a new note on [[Facebook]] about [[Mimms]], attempting to get people to annoy him. He then deletes the note minutes later.
*9 May - A [[Kacey Call 1.5|call]] between [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] that was "misplaced" by [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] is released.
*6 May - A previously unseen [[Jackie#Sex pics|drawing]] of Chris and Jackie in a pool having sex is released.
*5 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!|note]] on Facebook calling on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and clarifying that he does not see [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in her. In addition, an old drawing of the Wallflower from 2010 is released.
*1 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris makes another post on Facebook titled "Hey, Trollies", where he continues to gloat over his alleged "victory" over the trolls (despite the fact that he's caused them no damage or humility whatsoever).
*30 [[April 2012|April]] - Chris posts on Facebook saying that the [[JenkinsJinkies]] gay camp experience story wasn't real, comments about his enjoyment over the news that one of his trolls has been caught by the [[Jerkops|FBI]], and makes a gloating [[voicemail greeting]].
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

HippoOnYourHead

2012-04-29T23:37:12Z

Galford: Added possible origin of hippo joke.

[[File:You've got a hippo on your head.jpg|thumb|It stops making sense after this point.]]

'''[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user HippoOnYourHead]''' is Chris's third [[Flipnote Hatena]] animation, uploaded to his profile on 24 [[June 2010]]. This flipnote is Chris's first attempt in the program that features an actual narrative, as opposed to just being an [[UltimateNightmare|animation test]] or [[Don'tGetTrolled!|blatant theft]]. It also sets the basic tone that future flipnotes would conform to: stick figures joylessly acting out "funny" scenes. Chris assuming that he's such a master of [[random access humor|comedy]], decided to put "some" effort into his videos. Many of his sock puppet accounts gave him positive reviews of his flip note video, so it's completely unclear how many [[gal pal|people]] actually watched this video.

This is not the first time Chris has brought up hippos on heads as something he believes is funny. He first brought up this [[random-access humor]] when he edited the [[ED]] page. In the [[Regina e-mails#Random access humor demonstration|Regina e-mails]] it was all but pointed out to him how terribly unfunny it truly was. A leaked post by [[Chris]]<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG|"EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus"]]</ref> sheds some light into what he might consider funny about this joke: the hippo is a reference to the brain's [[Wikipedia: Hippocampus|hippocampus]].

Chris also mentions a "Buck Williams"; it is unclear whether this refers to the [[Bionic|basketball player]] or the character in [[Chris and religion|post-Rapture]] novel series ''[[Wikipedia: Left Behind|Left Behind]]''.

The Flipnote ends with Chris begging for stars, which are essentially Flipnote Hatena's e-penis measurement system, which proves that even "off the [[Internet]]", Chris still wants his [[fanbase]] to do him favors.
{{-}}

==Description==

{{quotebox|Yep, if a Hippo IS on your had, you will likely become flat as paper. LOL. A Silly, [[Random-access humor|Random]] piece from C.W.C. with no meaning whatsoever. }}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = HippoOnYourHead
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0oME_VeGVZo}}
| stardate = 24 [[June 2010]]
| previous = [[Don'tGetTrolled]]
| next = [[RandomHumor1Part1]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Praiseme.png|thumb|If you don't, I'll be forced to give myself stars!]]

[''A [[Chris and art|poorly-drawn]] boy and girl stand facing each other, when a hippo spontaneously falls on the boy's head'']

'''Girl:''' Ah! You have a hippo on your head.

'''Boy:''' Yeah.

'''Hippo:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|Dauhhh!]] [''Walks offscreen'']

'''Boy:''' Well, don't just stand there, write a letter on me!

[''The girl walks over to the flattened boy, picks him up, and starts to write'']

'''Girl:''' Dear Sir, Hello! Signed, [[Wikipedia:Cameron "Buck" Williams|Buck Williams]].

'''Writing:''' If you like decent random humor, please add one green star or a bunch of yellow. CWC. Have a good and safe day. :)

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena| 2010-06-24]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-24]]

Talk:You're Always Pretty

2012-02-29T03:32:22Z

Galford: /* Three wise monkeys */

== Transcribing ==

Unless anyone beats me to it, I'll have it done soon. [[User:Cleftpalete|Cleftpalete]] 18:38, 25 February 2012 (PST)

== Date video took place ==

When was this video originally recorded? --[[User:Riley_Martin|Uhh… '''this is Riley Martin.''']] 07:11, 26 February 2012 (PST)

===Song Name===

The song's name is "Head over Heels" not "Don't Break My Heart". I changed it. I was a big Tears For Fears fan in the early 90s (I was in grade school). Okay.... fine. It is a guilty pleasure song of mine. [[User:Joepinko|Joepinko]] 07:30, 28 February 2012 (PST)

== Three wise monkeys ==

The first part of Barb's quote: "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" is a reference to the [http://www.three-monkeys.info three wise monkeys]. The last bit of the quote most probably is [http://www.three-monkeys.info/1/ORIGIN/FAQENG.htm#A09 "have no fun"] then. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 19:01, 28 February 2012 (PST)
:*I don't want to start sperging here, just add a plausible context for the conversation between Barb and Chris at this point. It's possible that Barb's quote is a reference to the shirt that Chris got from goodwill. It may have been a shirt [http://funnyshirtz.info/see-hear-speak-no-evil-t-shirt-235269772844291542.html similar to this one]. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 19:32, 28 February 2012 (PST)

You're Always Pretty

2012-02-29T03:03:12Z

Galford: Changed "have your fun" for "have no fun". See talk page as to why.

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the first video [[Barbara|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating junk food. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments, and it is implied that they have been fighting and not speaking to each other, although there is no clear reason as to why. It is the first of its kind, the most candid look at Chris's mother, who has not yet appeared in his [[YouTube]] videos. The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aUG3rVfilH4}}
| stardate =
| subject = Food
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. For some reason, Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge. Tears for Fears' "Head Over Heels" plays in the background.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there, uh ...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh.. Just you, 'cause I love you.

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah... Yeah... So, you having fun tonight? Are we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Okay. Y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you... See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, have no fun!

'''Chris''': What? Yeah. The shirt I picked out from the Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and Music|I'm free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''turns off camera'']

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:You're Always Pretty

2012-02-29T03:01:28Z

Galford: /* Three wise monkeys */ new section

You're Always Pretty

2012-02-29T02:38:46Z

Galford: I'm hearing "tonight" instead of "today". Please double check this edit.

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the first video [[Barbara|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating junk food. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments, and it is implied that they have been fighting and not speaking to each other, although there is no clear reason as to why. It is the first of its kind, the most candid look at Chris's mother, who has not yet appeared in his [[YouTube]] videos. The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aUG3rVfilH4}}
| stardate =
| subject = Food
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. For some reason, Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge. Tears for Fears' "Head Over Heels" plays in the background.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there, uh ...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh.. Just you, 'cause I love you.

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah... Yeah... So, you having fun tonight? Are we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Okay. Y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you... See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, have your fun!

'''Chris''': What? Yeah. The shirt I picked out from the Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and Music|I'm free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''turns off camera'']

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:Abusive babysitter

2012-02-28T11:06:44Z

Galford: /* What The Fuck Is Going On?! */

I got your message Champ, I guess I need to find a better excuse to RRAAAARLL. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 12:06, 10 May 2009 (CEST)

== De-stubification ==

I might try and edit this into a full article. Wish me luck, gentlemen. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 17:11, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

:Good luck. I'll take a bash at it as well, once you're through --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 17:15, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

::Okay, I tried my best (with the few sources there are). Basically I just elaborated on select parts. Unless the big guy reveals anything more about his babysitter, this article will forever remain a stub. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 17:24, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

::*Well it's a small article, which isn't necessarily bad. I think we should try to remind ourselves that just because it's small doesn't mean it doesn't warrant an article. Stubs should more or less be articles that are only a sentence long and there to get the ball holding.
:::Hasn't Chris mentioned the babysitter more than once? We need to list every instance Chris has mentioned her in any media that's available.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:18, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

== Possible rename? ==
Would it be more appropriate to rename this page "Roach" or something similar? It seems odd to me to refer to her as the Abusive babysitter when we know at least part of her actual name. --[[User:Obligatory|Obligatory]] 11:04, 6 May 2011 (PDT)

:I'd say no, because the page isn't really about her, but Chris's distorted perception of what happened. (Who remembers anything from when they were 1 1/2 anyway?) Her name is just a part of the story, not the story itself. Perhaps a redirect? [[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 13:44, 6 May 2011 (PDT)

== What The Fuck Is Going On?! ==

An abusive babysitter surnamed Roach, and my surname is Roach. Not to mention he shares my mother's maiden name of Chandler. This is all too fucking weird. I hope to god I'm not related in any way to Chris.
:*Talk pages are [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|not a forum]]. Please follow the previous link to see appropriate places where to post your story. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 03:06, 28 February 2012 (PST)

Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-27T17:12:25Z

Galford: Added new red tank top comment.

{{Honest}}

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.

[[Chris]], dressed in his jean skirt appears trying on a brand new red tank top with a price tag attached to it, presumably to gain access to the changing rooms at the store. The tank top looks way too small for him, suggesting that even if [[Chris]] were to [[Fashion|buy new clothes]] they would still look as if he had had them since he was twelve years old. After a short disclaimer he starts wobbling his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the [[tomgirl|Transgender]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek (which he calls his "[[cutie mark]]"). This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris' continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. Although the symbol appears to be rendered in Crayola marker and not tattoo ink, it wouldn't be entirely past Chris to have himself forever branded like the gender-confused cow he strives to be. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience [[Chris]] finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "[[Jackie|J.PIE]]", because nothings says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle on your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request; a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. Still though, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wRD1EBmaRx4}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex}}
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[We see Chris in his tomgirl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Wal-Mart.]''

I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded then I thought...

What the hell is going on with that light?

Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the 2 minutes in the dressing room here.

''[Chris begins to shake his body]''

Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Wal-Mart, Walla walla walla walla walla Wal-Mart walla walla

''[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]''

Walla walla Wal-Mart walla walla walla walla Wal-Mart

Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Wal-Mart

walla walla Walmart walla walla Wal-Mart shake that, walla walla Wal-Mart

''[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.]''

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Wal-Mart

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla

Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Wal-Mart

''[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.]''

Oh! the things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

([[Stress Sigh|sigh]]) Jackie I'll progress. Check my progress.
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Cakefarts

2012-02-27T03:09:25Z

Galford: Corrected wrong way around letter (S, not E).

{{Honest}}

'''Cakefarts''' (leaked as ''fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris sits his naked ass on a [[Chris and money|$9]] [[Obesity|chocolate cake]] for [[Jackie]]'s amusement. The full uncensored version can be found [http://imageshack.us/clip/my-videos/36/rsv.mp4/ here]. It is inspired by the Cakefarts shock site.<ref>[www.cakefarts.com/ www.cakefarts.com]</ref>

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cakefarts
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1heDIzvEPl0}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

{{quote|What the hell am I doing?}}

=== Transcript ===

Heeey Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.

''[Chris proceeds to finger the cake, followed by licking his digit]''

Mmm. Let's get this done.

''Chris has the words [[Random-access humor|"AWESOME SAUCE"]] written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the S's is the wrong way around, and there is [[Fail|scribbled out attempt]] at writing the word awesome.''

''[Unintelligible]''... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. A dance! Is dance! Doin' a dance. Doo wop doo. [[Random-access humor|Drink a monkey monkey]] and ''[unintelligible]''

''[Chris flails about like a retard in order to make his deformed [[duck|dick]] jiggle]''

Let's do this.

''[Performs the act for which the video is named, in turn getting an erection]''

What the hell am I doing here? ''[Finishes smearing ass with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate cake]]]'' What the hell am I doing? I paid nine American dollar for this cake. That's a lotta yen. Kawaii! Bye, Japan.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature]]

Template:Da update

2012-02-27T02:23:25Z

Galford: Added The Red-Maned Deer video reference to the current update.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: [[The Red-Maned Deer]], [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]].
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]; Chris plans to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*13 [[January 2012|January]]: A [[Sega]] [[Chris_in_the_media#Sega_Acknowledges_Sonichu|"Free Stuff Friday" video]] references [[Sonichu]].
*5 [[January 2012|January]]: Chris and Barbara appear at [[28 October 2011|another hearing]] in connection to their attack on [[the GAMe PLACe]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Talk:Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-27T01:48:00Z

Galford: /* Buying a new red tanktop? */ new section

Symbol/Cutie mark? - Anyone know what the meaning of the symbol could be? It appears to be the classic hermaphrodite/both sexes with an extra male arrow opposite the usual one - Desire for MMF threesome? Saying he's 1/3 female 2/3 male? Silent scream reveaing latent homosexuality? Also, in the brony video, Chris mentions his "cutie mark" - Could this 'tattoo' be what he was referring to? --[[User:IThrewTheFrisbee|IThrewTheFrisbee]] 09:27, 26 February 2012 (PST)
:Sign posts please... But yes, this mark is what Chris would consider his "Cutie Mark" (reference to My Little Pony) Chris has used this mark before as a symbol for Tom Girls and Tom Boys as it is a mix of a boy and a girls "symbols" one on top of the other...Don't know why there is two male symbols mirroring each other...--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:51, 25 February 2012 (PST)
::[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBTQ_symbols#Gender_symbols This is where it's from.] Apparently, it's not a real tattoo, in case anyone was worried. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 20:09, 25 February 2012 (PST)

== Buying a new red tanktop? ==

Chris's red tanktop seems to have a price tag attached to it. Could he be buying new clothes at the store?

Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-27T01:33:28Z

Galford: Added "J.PIE" witten in Chris's skirt comment.

{{Honest}}

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.

[[Chris]], dressed in his gut-wrapping red tank top and jean skirt, wobbles his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the [[tomgirl|Transgender]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris' continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. Although the symbol appears to be rendered in Crayola marker and not tattoo ink, it wouldn't be entirely past Chris to have himself forever branded like the gender-confused cow he strives to be. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience [[Chris]] finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "[[Jackie|J.PIE]]", because nothings says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle in your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request; a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. Still though, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wRD1EBmaRx4}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex}}
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[We see Chris in his tom girl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Walmart]''

I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded then I thought(?)

What the hell is going on with that light(?)

Anyway mmmm. Enjoy the 2 minutes in the dressing room here.

[Chris begins to shake his body]

Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Walmart, Walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla

[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera]

Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart.

deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart

walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart

[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing]

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla

shake your butt shake your butt, walla walla walmart.

[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up]

oh! the things i do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

(sigh) Jackie i'll progress. Check my progress.

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T22:29:29Z

Galford: Added partial missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called Meg, it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 22 April 2006 
Subject: please forgive me...:(

''[Part of the mail is missing]''

third which is probably the worst case yet- 
I have kept this secret until John's birthday. I have been saving money to buy both John and I a [[Nintendo DS]] and a couple games. So I have a DS now. But PLEASE DON"T BE MAD...especially since I was fooling around with John's gamecube and saw some of the note...I didn't read all of it. Something like make sure I don't get a DS with Nintendogs? Were you planning to give one to me? I feel terrible. I [[Biological_clock|didn't get any sleep last night]] due to worrying about it.

I had a feeling you would have already spent your [[money]] on one for me. If so please, you may return it. I don't want to seem ungrateful but they are expensive and I just can't accept such a pricey gift from you. But if you can't return it or get any cash or credit from trade-in, well what can I say? I just don't know what to say. I feel rotten but I hope I'm not to blame. I didn't know. We BOTH didn't know. I hope you understand and I hope you are not [[angry]]. 
I am flattered and amazed you would go through such trouble, thank you friend! :)

Is there any way I can make it up? I'm [[Remorse|VERY DEEPLY SORRY]] Christian. PLEASE understand it. I hope I'm not at fault. I should have told you I got one a few days ago. I hope it isn't too late. But I thought it was right of me to tell the truth. I hate not being [[honest]]. I'm like a military dog- loyal to the end.

Well my DS is blue. I have Chihuahua game and Yoshi Touch n' Go 
For my brother he will get a silver DS with Lab game and Mario Kart, but my mom and aunt have helped me aquire ''[sic]'' them. 
Yoshi game is lovely and relaxing. A good bedtime game! ;) 
I like your yoshi game too. 
Hey I was wondering since we get ripped off at gamestores why not trade games with each other? 
I may have a few games I lost interest too. A couple from the Crash Bandicoot series and maybe some gameboy games. John has a couple [[Star Wars]] games for the gamecube he doesn't want. 
Do you have anything you don't play anymore? And hey maybe after a while we could always trade back if we miss our old games. I'm glad you liked my spoiled Shadow2 chao! He's a good boy!

Well I better send this email I hope you get it in time. And once again I'm very sorry. I don't feel like I'm a good friend but I'm being honest. I hope our friendship remains.

Thank you}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan tells Chris to [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_March_27th,_2009|BACK THE FUCK OFF!]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 22 May 2006 
Subject: Hey

Hey! Ok, maybe I should get this off my chest first-

Well I like us being [[Gal_pal|friends]] but please understand that I wish for no [[Sweetheart|deeper relationship]]. I just don't care or have that desire for a boyfriend no matter who he is ok? 
And to be honest I felt awkward on how you all of sudden said you wanted to come to my house. Lemme just say this- You should think of me as [[Knuckles]]! I'm the kind of person who although is a loyal friend- I can only take so much friendly meetings. You know how Knuckles will hang around a bit but then take off once again. I'm like that. Hanging out on fridays is really the most I can do. I know that probably doesn't seem fair to you but you are a different person with your own [[autism|different needs]]. I'm my own person with my own different needs- or should I say unwanted needs! ;) So please could we put off park meetings for a while? Pretty please with a Yoshi Berry on top! :D And also please give me a little more space at the [[The_GAMe_PLACe|store]]. I don't always like having a second shadow while looking at stuff. DO NOT take this as an insult- you have no idea how many times I have to bark at John sometimes!! 
So from now on I'd like a little time alone looking at models that will never come in and then I'll come to the middle and [[Card_games|play]]! I love playing now since I made a new refreshing deck! Speaking of decks, Print out that email you sent me about your [[Yugioh]] deck cause John has more knowledge about it then ''[sic]'' me. John helped me with all my yugioh stuff!

Ok, moving from that "depressing" subject! I think I see the [[music]] problem! When you download, are all the bands separated by genre? If so then Stryper and Holy Soldier are more then ''[sic]'' likely located in the Christian section. (no pun intended-as I rudely burst out laughing! forgive me!) 
Yes Stryper is a "[[Chris_and_religion|religious]]" band but I don't think they are extreme. You know how they say people change depending on the music they hear. Sure that's probably true for all the hoods that listen to that [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|stupid loud violent rap]]. But I've had Stryper for several years and it hadn't turned me into a nun! 
As for Holy Soldier, they were probably put there just because of their name. I don't think their music is as Christ-ly as Stryper. Holy Soldier is however positive and anti-negative. For example one song explains "[[6_June_2010|drink and drive is suicide]]." 
Either way I think you'll like them. Which of the songs I reccomended ''[sic]'' did you like the most or least?

I love your mario [[Video_games|game]]- so does John! But I love playing the mini games better then ''[sic]'' the real game! Not to brag but I've beaten some of your high scores!! My favorite games are: 
The game where you find either Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi's face. 
Matching the Wiggler pattern! I love Wigglers!!! They are soooo oogy-woogy! Plus that baby music they play emphasizes that!

''[Part of the mail is missing]''}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a [[rape|molester]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T20:59:50Z

Galford: Added partial missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called Meg, it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 22 April 2006 
Subject: please forgive me...:(

''[Part of the mail is missing]''

third which is probably the worst case yet- 
I have kept this secret until John's birthday. I have been saving money to buy both John and I a [[Nintendo DS]] and a couple games. So I have a DS now. But PLEASE DON"T BE MAD...especially since I was fooling around with John's gamecube and saw some of the note...I didn't read all of it. Something like make sure I don't get a DS with Nintendogs? Were you planning to give one to me? I feel terrible. I [[Biological_clock|didn't get any sleep last night]] due to worrying about it.

I had a feeling you would have already spent your [[money]] on one for me. If so please, you may return it. I don't want to seem ungrateful but they are expensive and I just can't accept such a pricey gift from you. But if you can't return it or get any cash or credit from trade-in, well what can I say? I just don't know what to say. I feel rotten but I hope I'm not to blame. I didn't know. We BOTH didn't know. I hope you understand and I hope you are not [[angry]]. 
I am flattered and amazed you would go through such trouble, thank you friend! :)

Is there any way I can make it up? I'm [[Remorse|VERY DEEPLY SORRY]] Christian. PLEASE understand it. I hope I'm not at fault. I should have told you I got one a few days ago. I hope it isn't too late. But I thought it was right of me to tell the truth. I hate not being [[honest]]. I'm like a military dog- loyal to the end.

Well my DS is blue. I have Chihuahua game and Yoshi Touch n' Go 
For my brother he will get a silver DS with Lab game and Mario Kart, but my mom and aunt have helped me aquire ''[sic]'' them. 
Yoshi game is lovely and relaxing. A good bedtime game! ;) 
I like your yoshi game too. 
Hey I was wondering since we get ripped off at gamestores why not trade games with each other? 
I may have a few games I lost interest too. A couple from the Crash Bandicoot series and maybe some gameboy games. John has a couple [[Star Wars]] games for the gamecube he doesn't want. 
Do you have anything you don't play anymore? And hey maybe after a while we could always trade back if we miss our old games. I'm glad you liked my spoiled Shadow2 chao! He's a good boy!

Well I better send this email I hope you get it in time. And once again I'm very sorry. I don't feel like I'm a good friend but I'm being honest. I hope our friendship remains.

Thank you}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a [[rape|molester]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T16:30:40Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called Meg, it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===
{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a [[rape|molester]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T05:28:18Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called Meg, it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===
{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T04:34:59Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===
{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T03:43:25Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2012-01-22T02:37:33Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

Megan emails, Jan-July 2007

2012-01-22T01:32:39Z

Galford: Added missing mail from Megan.

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and Chris from January through [[July 2007]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Chris apologizes for being a douche===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 5 Mar 2007 9:01:29 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Re: Alright

Hey, Megan. To start... the manga, the ponies and the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] CD; that works for me. Cool; [[Wikipedia:Pink Panther|Pink Panther]] it is then. I'm certain that you all will enjoy the jugs/washboards/kazoos and boogie-woogie that my papa shared back in [[1990]] on [[Wikipedia:WTJU|WTJU]].

And... I am sorry that I hurt your feelings; I didn't mean to, and I was not being contradicting. Also, I did not "dismiss" the story, I just gave it consideration, and I offered my honest and open opinion about it. I did picture your Skitty in your Metune outfit, and I can honestly say that it is a cute idea. :) I just feel that the permament (or the world-switch) transformation rubs me the wrong way... How about this, let's say your future daughter is transformed into the skitty of Team Courage, and she and her team time-travel back to aide you and me in our battles and steps towards the future (kind of a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Chibi-Usa]] situation). And this would happen after we get the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Crystal Sonichu Balls]] together, get [[Sister|my imiginary sister]] out of the mirror, awaken [[Darkbind|Darkbind's]] [[Princess Zelina]] and put an end to [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] terror. You can provide the new set of villians that [[Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc]] will recruit (after having left the hospital). Also, Houndour and Absol... let's put Hound-Howl and Apocolypse in those shoes (with the random evolution to Pending Doom and Devolution Spray that Skitty will have). And I'm not so sure about [[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charmander]] on the team... could you go with a [[Wikipedia:Vaporeon|Vaporeon]], and draw him/her like Hound-Howl or Apocolypse (making a better balanced type-match for the team... Normal, Water, Fire and Dark vs. Normal, Fire X2 and Dark (they would be more weak against ground or water attacks). Does that work better for you? I support your cute and fun ideas as much as possible, and I feel a little sad from having hurt your feelings... I'd like to put a smile on my favorite friend's face. :)

Also, how do you feel of the idea of [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic]] dating behind the comic?

And I am flattered that you said that I am a [[Chris and writing|good storyteller]]; thank you so much. :)

Still caringly fond of you; 
Chris Chan.

P.S.

Did you read the part in the latest episode where [[Black Sonichu]] tells [[Sonichu]] about [[Reldnahc]] having put whipped cream in his rocket boosters? In the original drawing, he said "[[semen|some creamy stuff]]", in reference to Reldnach being the TOTALLY opposite of me.}}

===Megan gives Chris a lesson in canine anatomy===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 6 Mar 2007 
Subject: Great

Ok, then it's settled. I have one request about making a femine Houndour design. Whether or not you've noticed NONE of my original female characters have....breasts. And the reason is because they are more animalish, they have what [[Pattie]] had, six nursing tools. I just don't believe in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|giving animals that kind of human quality]]. Although my girls and boys wear clothes, I give them no undergarments. When you think about it- when pets get dressed up, they don't have [[Dirty, crapped briefs|underwear]] either. 
With that said, to me it gives my animal characters a more purist appeal. 
And despite walking upright, talking, and wearing clothes, they still have animal instincts--[[Chris Sex Videos|hissing and growling]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|grooming with their tongues]], you get the idea.

SO, I will give the hound version of myself eyelashes, maybe jewelry and a ribbon. I wish to have no visible [[Manboobs|you-know-whats]], please. I just wanted to share with you where I stand when I create characters.

Tonight I'll be creating and giving you the drafts on Friday. 
I CAN'T WAAAAIIT for the Klonoa cd's!!! I hope they come soon! 
See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Another email from the "Seriously Stop Fucking Touching Me" collection===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 30 April 2007 
Subject: hey

Yes. of course I knew there was an Act 0! Remember that dvd set auction I told you about? One of the reasons I wanted it was because it also included a dvd with Act 0 and Special Act. 
NO i'm NOT a money-hungry type. Like I said my account is used for art supplies and such, I can't spent it all on ebay. Which is why I ask you since I can give you cash and or uneeded goodies. ;) I ask if you're [[Monthly tugboat|financially stable]] cause I don't want to be like I'M the reason you're "broke", you know? But you did by a [[PS3]]... I hope I'm not a money burden...thank you for the PS2 and dvd's! John loves his stuff and especially the Gundam plush!

Anyway, yeah 2 months is a bit of time but you're lucky then, Should John have chosen the school in Florida it would have been 2 years! 
I understand your feelings, but please consider mine, I'm miserably unhappy here. I need to broaded my horizons. I have no life here. But I doubt we're moving anyway.

One more thing, PLEASE minimize your touchy-ness. You KNOW WELL I dislike it, and I keep reminding you. Understand I'm not angry, but annoyed and a bit disapointed. I remember you said you'd NEVER do it again and yet... I know you're just being friendly and all but I really hate being touched....by [[Chris|anyone]]!

Also, the moon cd's are wonderful thank you so much! Looking forward to the karaoke cd's!!

Thank you for the time and effort! 
Talk to you later! 
~Megan ;)}}

===Chris on ''Soul Calibur'', and a shitty poem===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 7 May 2007 12:41:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: wheee!

Well, I just heard that the person of RareRomance will have just sent the cards, so maybe by this coming or the next Friday you will have your cards. :)

Another issue, I've just recorded a Battle Theatere from [[Soul Calibur]] 3 featuring you Vs. [[Wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yosimitsu]], as well as me Vs. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and a couple of others. I will have the [[Speech Impediment|Battle Thetere]] shows in MP4 format soon, and all you to watch them this coming Friday on my [[PSP]]. I've unlocked all the Custom Character Jobs, so everyone is at the highest role. I started your character as a Ninja, which later unlocked Assassan, which later unlocked Samurai; you are now Samurai Class. I started as a Saint ([[Chris and ego|because that sounded like basically who I am]]), then I've got upgraded to Sage (no more beyond that). Also available were Thief >>> Pirate, Barbarian >>> Gladiator >>> Knight, Dancer, Monk, and the topper, Swordsmaster.

Each Job has a specific number of compatable weapons. Like for you, as Ninja: Kunai, Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and weapons of Taki & Setsuka. Then as Assassin: Wave Sword, Iron Sword, Chinese Sword, and weapons of Lizardman and Tira. And NOW as Samurai: Katana (only), Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and Weapons of Mitsurugi and Yoshimitsu. :D

I, as Saint, welded: Staff (Personal Weapon of Choice), Dagger, Steel Fan, and Weapons of Zasalamel and Talim. Now as Sage I get: Chinese Blade, Sword & Shield, Staff, and Weapons of Sophita and Casandra.

The list of weapons for each job were listed from lowest level earned to highest (Lv1, Lv10, Lv20 and Lv30). And my source of information: GameInformer.com.

BTW, [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] was started as Barbarian, and now is Knight. Also, there was not enough room for "Schroder" in the name spaces, so for both of you, it was shortened to "Schroe"; nothing personal.

Well, enough Soul 3 talk. Let me ask you something, and John may input his opinion for this question as well, Have either of you played [[Wikipedia:Gauntlet II|Gauntlet 2]] or [[Wikipedia:Rampart (arcade game)|Rampart]]? I am asking, because the two games are avilable in the [[PSN]]etwork Store, downloable to [[PS3]]. And I wanted your feedback if either or both of you played either one.

Oh, I did download the new Super Rub-a-Dub game; it is so cute and fun. With the [[Wikipedia:Sixaxis|Sixaxis]], I rotate and shake a tub with the hero Rubber Duckie, and guide it to collect the trapped smaller ducks and lead them to the Drain Exit. And I have to stay away from the wind-up toy Sharks, unless I'm playing the bonus level as the shark and I would have to eat the ducks.

Well, if you find a website where the [[Sailor Moon|PGSM]] episode are downloable with the appropriate format, let me know and I'll get to work on that. Otherwise, I'm killin' time on PS3 or PSP or DS, or with family. Here's a cute rhyme-scheme I've made up recently (inspired by a Wii Comercial):

"On your (GBA) SP, 
create your Mii, 
and play it on Wii, 
with your PSP, 
hooked to the PS3, 
because it's fun see?"

Okay, I'll check in again later, and I await your next E-Mail. You all take care.

I'm thinkin' of you fondly, sweetie; 
Chris Chan. 
OXOXOX}}

===Megan talks about her infatuation with a game character===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3@velocitus.net 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 4 June 2007 
Subject: Re: Cool.

Great. I'll be on the look out for the [[Transformers]].

Now it doesn't surprise me that the Japanese title was [[Soulcalibur|Soul Edge]]. In Tekken 3, one of the battlegrounds is a backstreet type place with graffiti. And an Especially large spraypainted logo "SoulEdge" adorns the fence behind you.

I'm sure you wonder....and even I wonder...why is this weirdly dressed alien such my most favorite fighter?

It probably started back when I had Tekken2, I was 10 or 11. Back then you had more tolerance for all the characters and I played as anybody and everybody. But there was something about [[Wikipedia: Yoshimitsu_(Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]'s costume that "spoke" to me. I liked his threatning [sic] expressed mask, and his Japanese hat. I just liked the way he looked all-around. And he has a good personality. He's like a Robin Hood. He helps the poor and travels a path of righteousness. But at the same time he is obsessed with [[Video_games|arcades]] and [[internet]]! Moving back to helping the poor. He will lend a hand to anyone in need. But I like how he's not liberal. If he helps someone and they turn on him....he will come after them and kill them if needed.

So anyway, eventually as I grew older and developed more tastes I narrowed down my choice of fighters to Yoshimitsu. I feel like I have this "bond" when I choose him. Like Yugi and his Dark Magician. I hope this doesn't sound silly but I feel "close" to Yoshimitsu and he is very dear and special to me. 
I believe Tekken6 comes out this Nov. on [[PS3]]. If you consider getting it for yourself, I only ask for you not to play Yoshimitsu, ONLY to unlock his movie. I feel like I can't share him with anyone else. Do I sound crazy?

Well so that's it I guess. I'll probably see you Wed. then 
~Megan 
PS is the Jacob's Ladder plant in [[Animal_Crossing|AnimalCrossing]] ([[DS]]) considered a weed? Cause it wilts like other flowers.}}

===Chris talks about Megan while she's away===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 27 Jun 2007 5:57:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey Megan,

I hope you are having a safe trip to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]] at this time.

As for me, it's not bad here. I'm finishing up copying the G1 [[Transformers]] episodes to DVD-Rs. I've learned I could download games/demos from the JAPANESE Playstation Store (I had to create a Japanese account, with a made-up street address). It's cool, I've downloaded free demos of [[Wikipedia:Folklore (video game)|Folklore]], [[Wikipedia:Everybody's Golf 5|Everyone's Golf 5]] and the Playstation1 Demo of XI Sai (a dice game (it can be copied for play on PSP)). And this game I'm learning about that is internet based (similar to the upcoming Home), from the Dokidemo title (the import Cat game on PSP). I'm going to see if I can learn more on GameFaqs.com.

Also, I've learned from the US Playstation website about a NEW [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|Gundam]] title coming soon for PS3 (hopefully rated better than Crossfire) titled "[[Wikipedia:Dynasty Warriors: Gundam|Dynasty Warriors: Gundam]]". Apparently its gameplay will be based on the previous Dynasty Warriors games, but the Gundams will be the main playable mechs. FYI, I've purchased the [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire|Crossfire]] game during Gamestop's Game Days sale for practically a steal at $29.99.

I have de-weeded [[CWCville|Cwcville]], and I'm working on getting it back in shape. I look forward to our first Wi-Fi visit; please let me know the date and time YOU or I should have your/my gate open. By the way, my DS's touch screen in the middle is out of order; I won't be able to touch the "g" key, so I will have to type the letters with my control pad and A button (it may be slower).

I will await your E-Mail, or I may check in again later. You all take care.

Thinkin' of you fondly and sweetly; 
Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris is sad about Patti===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Thu, 28 Jun 2007 9:22:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I lost a bit of sleep last night, because I remembered that yesterday (June 27), one year ago, [[Patti]] passed away. I cried for a while, with [[barb|my mom]], being reminded of the Burdens hardest to bear; I'm fine now. Funny side-stories, I didn't remember till just after I hit the sack, but earlier I was playing [[Guitar Hero]] to complete the Hard Mode. One song to go, "[[Wikipedia:Bark at the Moon|Bark At The Moon]]"; I said to myself that this one was for Patti. And before that, my mother suggested we go to [[Wikipedia:American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals|the SPCA]], in addition to finding about the upcoming Rummage Sale, we'd look at the puppies. Subconsiously, we were, without realizing it, being reminded of this one-year anniversary. At least now, Patti's resting in peace, and she's looking down and protecting us and our cats. Did I tell you that Patti and our elder [[Chandler Cats|kitty]] were really close; they would chat on and on, share food and sleep together.

On the bright side, I took up Gamestop's current offer of trading in 2 PS3 games to get one FREE; I got the new [[Transformers]] Game after trading in [[Wikipedia:Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom|Untold Legends Dark Kingdom]] and [[Wikipedia:Armored Core 4|Armored Core 4]]. I plan to getting replacement copies of those two in the near future. AC4 is among the Game Days Sale offer at 25% off.

I hope you all are safe and doing well. Take Care.

Thinkin' Fondly of you (alongside Patti; bless her soul); Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris talks about the Pokemon League and Megan memories===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Tue, 3 Jul 2007 2:16 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan

I hope that you are able to get my messages over in Kentucky. BTW, which time zone are you in, [[Wikipedia:Central Time Zone (Americas)|Central]] or [[Wikipedia:Eastern Time Zone|Eastern]]? That will matter to when you'd like me to visit you/open my gate.

As for the [[Wikipedia:Dynasty Warriors: Gundam|Dynasty Warriors - Gundam]] demo, I have enjoyed it. It has better graphics than Crossfire, I get a bird's eye view of the scene, the sword and shield is used more than gunfire, and the control is easier and mech movement is faster.

Last Friday at the League was not bad. A new kid entered who started his membership from a tournament, so he already had a [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Organized Play|POP]] ID number upon his first arrival to the Game Place. I won a few games; lost a couple. I didn't buy any Soul Calibur packs then, but I plan to this coming Friday. On that issue, I will enclose scanned images of the cards I get in the e-mail I send you just after getting a pack or so. Brianna and her family are doing good as well.

I miss you a lot, but I'm okay; I still get a sweet, happy feeling each time I think of your fun wit, your charms, your pretty face and the fun you and I have shared so far. :) I hope you and your family are safe and doing well.

I hope to hear from you soon, and I will send another message later on. XOXOXO

Your Faithful Friend who thinks fondly of you;

Chris Chan. <3}}

===Chris lists ''Soul Calibur'' cards and talks about the ''Transformers'' movie===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Fri, 6 Jul 2007 8:52:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I'm guessing you all have been busy, getting settled and enrolling John and whatnot, but I would appreciate a reply soon.

Anyhoo, I got the last 4 [[Soul Calibur]] (First Expansion) packs that were at [[the Game Place]] tonight, so I got to keep the box. Quite a lot of cards to scan, so I'll just list them. And you may look them up on [[eBay]]. The picked up cards are as follows:

* Shishi-Oh - Asset 
* Inhuman Fortitude - Asset 
* Reverse Spiral - Atk 
* Thrust Throw - Atk 
Despair - Atk **Voldo** 
Destined Greatness - Atk 
The Power of the Gale - Found 
Twin Splitters - Atk (X2) 
Shadow Split - Atk 
Hem Stitck - Atk (X2) 
Cross Style Mastery - Found 
Helm Divider - Atk (X2) 
Belligerent Aggression - Found 
Holy Purification - Atk 
Sublime Contmplation - Found 
Dark Destroyer - Atk 
Swift Edge - Atk (X2) 
Disembowel - Atk 
Ax Grave - Atk 
Annihilation - Atk 
Tornado Shot - Atk 
Persistence - Found 
Thrust - Atk 
Earth Scroll - Atk (X2) 
Bamboo Cutter - Atk 
Lost Memories - Found 
Rising Ripper - Atk 
Evil Eye - Atk 
Material Advantage - Found 
Tenpu-Kosai-Ryu-Kai - Found 
Made not Born - Found 
Sword Buster - Atk 
Circle of Steel - Found 
Destruction - Atk 
Hades Break - Atk

That's it for this time.

Briana is still doing good, so is Tony and Ty. We had three new members come in this time; I put together 3 decks for them. Two them were brothers, Mason and Brandon, and Brandon, I've learned from their mother, is [[Autism|High-Functioning Autistic]]. He also was born with weak legs, so he gets around on crutches. Anyway, they all should know the [[Card games#Pokémon|Pokemon TCG]] rules well now.

I will not be attending the League next Friday; my mother and I will be attending the [[Wikipedia:American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals|SPCA]] Rummage Sale Opening that day, so no new cards then.

On [[Wikipedia:Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day]], [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I went to see the [[Wikipedia:Transformers (film)|new Transformers movie]]; it was awesome. It was very dramatic, had chunks of [[Wikipedia:Motion Picture Association of America film rating system|PG-13]] humor and a dash of romance. One humorous moment I remember was something I didn't get to see everyday, [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]] leaked lubricant onto a bad man of secret organization "Sector Seven" like he was doing number 1. There was of course plenty of Military Land and Air action and drama. One soldier was looking forward to coming home to hold his newborn daughter for the first time. A few of the other soldiers were speaking [[spanish]] in front of the Americans. And there were confrences at the Pentagon. You don't have to be a total Autobot fan to enjoy the bunches of Men In Action that I know you would. :)

Well, I have things to do, but I hope you all are doing well in Kentucky. And I miss you, sweetie. <3 Please reply soon.

Faithfully yours with fondful thoughts; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan still away, Chris continues talking about video games===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 6:01:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Just checkin' in again. :)

I've completed my [[Transformers]] game with all missions and sub-missions completed and all icons and energon cubes collected. I've unlocked all the bonus movie/toy/comic images, all seven movies and the ability to play as Generation 1 Optimus Prime and Megatron. I've enjoyed the fantastic detailed graphics, a bit of "Deceptive" Destruction, flying around with [[PS3|Sixaxis Tilt control]], Saving the day, crusin' the streets, and of course the transformations.

Currently, I'm playing [[Wikipedia:Genji: Days of the Blade|Genji: Days of the Blade]] (free rental due Sunday); It's great ninja-style action, and the story is good too.

I hope you've been able to have fun with your [[PS2]] and the [[PSEye|Eyetoy]] or the [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]]. :) There is still nothing new in video games on [[Sailor Moon]]. And upon investigation, I can download ALL the PGSM episodes from Veoh and get them burned to DVD (regardless of the subtitle situation; you can still watch it fully on PC or zoom out on your DVD Player), so I will start work on that soon.

And I have some dough set aside for the Rummage Sale this Friday; I could make out great with finding working systems and games for trade-in and profit.

Aside from all that, I think fondly of you lots, and I count down the days until you and your family return, as well as an E-Mail from you. I miss you so much, and I hope you all are well and safe.

I got to go; [[the Simpsons]] are about to come on. [[Love Quest|Hey...I like you]]. <3<3<3

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris continues to be boring, Megan continues to be away===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 14 Jul 2007 11:18 am 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I just rested after getting home from the rummage sale. My mother and I left at about 1:00, we went to [[Wikipedia:Chick-fil-A|Chik-fil-a]] for Cow Appreciation Day (Free Combo for looking like a cow; I made cow masks for us). After lunch, we went straight to the sale, where we were the 4th and 5th in line, and we waited about 2 1/2 hours. I kept myself entertained with [[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|the original Transformers Movie]] on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] for the most part. The NBC news crew was there, and it islikely that I got my face on television (I'll find out on "Film at 11"). And we were interviewed by a paper reporter. As much to my excitement of hopeful finds of Gamecube, PS2 and such for profitable trade-in, after getting a shopping cart, I rushed (without running over anybody) to the electronics. And to my dismay, all they had were a Sega Genesis, a Playstation 1, and the only PS2 they had was priced at $125 (whereas in previous years, it was priced at only $25), so I didn't buy anything. Although my mother made out in her big bunch of fabrics and stuff. On the way home, we picked up a couple more free combo meals, and I decided since I still had the dough, I went ahead and picked up at [[Wal-Mart]] a [[PS3]] Intercooler set and a (Autobot) Bumblebee PS2 Slim Skin (for my [[PS3]]). The day wasn't as swift as expected, but it wasn't a total loss.

I wish I could hear from you. I hope you all are doing well. I will send another e-mail soon.

Faithfully yours,

Chris Chan. <3<3<3<3<3}}

===Chris talks about a soap opera, has "gunky ear", and is still thinking of Megan===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sun, 15 Jul 2007 9:59:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

From the [[Wikipedia:Rubí|"Rubi"]] ([[Spanish]] soap opera with english subtitles) DVD set I spent a few of my saved points on [[My Coke Rewards]], which I've received Friday, I just watched the first episode; it was good, I've enjoyed the drama, as well as the scenery of Mexico.

I'd tell you more, but it's moderately hard to think with the return of the gunky ear; it just happened earlier today but in the left ear. I've used some of my previously perscribed ear medicine, but I will attempt to wash it out in the shower later. It's quite the bother like last time.

Aside from that, I'm still thinking of you sweetly and fondly; it is good. :) I long to see you again at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]] and welcome you back with open arms. I sometimes feel lonely, but it is so worth the wait just to be close to you again. <3 I hope you are safe and well. :)

I'll send you another message soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Chris enters PaRappa the Rapper contest===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 6:03:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan, (Parappa the Rapper)

About June 29th, I created, edited and submitted an video entry for Playstation.com's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. I submitted it through e-mail, as well as uploading it to [[YouTube]] and [[Wikipedia:Veoh|Veoh]]. I just got an E-Mail from the Playstation people, and Good News...

"Congratulations! Your [[PaRappa the Rapper]] video contest entry has made it into the voting phase of the contest. We will post your video on us.playstation.com and invite the PlayStation Underground to vote on their favorite. Before the fun begins, please print and sign the attached SCEA video release form and fax to my attention at 310.482.4201. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck! Nathan PlayStation Community Support"

So I've printed the form, signed it, rushed to [[Wikipedia:FedEx Office|Kinkos]] and faxed it. It would be so awesome if I won the Grand Prize... a trip for two to Seattle, WA for the [[Wikipedia:Penny Arcade Expo|Penny Arcade Expo]]. And I couldn't think of anyone better to be there with me than you. :) But given your currently being in Kentucky, and if you all come back home that soon... it could be iffy.

I wanted to let you about that. If you are able to, you may check out the video on Youtube or Veoh; I even mentioned you in it. :)

Seriously, I really wish I could hear from you real soon. I'd like to know how you all are doing, what's been good in Kentucky; all that good jazz. I miss you. <3<3<3

I'll send another E-Mail soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 8:46:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy 21st Birthday, Sweetest [[Megan]]! Happy Birtday to you! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :)

I hope you are having a great Birthday over there in Kentucky. This is what I am able to do for this time, but I did give you your presents earlier. And since you have me in your locket, it's as if I was actually there for your 21st turn. :)

And while I'm thinkin' about it, last friday was okay; nothing special. I got one pack of [[Soul Calibur|SC]] Blades of Fury, and the cards included were as followed:

<nowiki>**</nowiki>[[Wikipedia:List_of_characters_in_the_Soul_series#Mitsurugi|Mitsurugi]] (Character Card) Sole Survivor (Foundation~Yoshimitsu) Spinning Sword (Attack~Yoshimitsu) Mezentius Head Butt (Attack) Killing Bite (Attack) Raise the Shield (Foundation) Tornado Swell (Attack) Jolly Roger Hoist (Attack) Phantasm Fleet (Attack) Dread Charge (Foundation)

I am spreading the word throughout [[MySpace]], my Sonichu, [[CWC's Pokésite 2|Pokesite 2]] (english and spanish), [[Hot Wheels]], and [[Lego|Bionicle]] websites, through the Playstation Network (with help from playing online with Motorstorm to get names), and Locally at the Game Place and such about voting for my [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper]] Video. I'd really like to win that trip and those [[PSP of Fail|PSPs]], so I can share the expierence with you, my closest, sweetest friend. <3 Who knows, maybe I can wing it for good results. :)

At least I can keep you up-to-date, even though it may still be a while before you can read these E-Mails.

I'll send you another one soon. Have the Happiest of 21st Birthdays, because you've got a nice family to share it with and me.

Faithfully Yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris talks about trading cards, tells Megan he wants to go to Seattle with her===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 28 Jul 2007 12:18 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

It was rainy about 3-5 this afternoon, but fortunately a bunch of players showed up today at [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]]. I didn't get a Soul Calibur Pack this week, but I noticed that they have in stock a two-deck pack for [[Card_games#UFS_.28Ultimate_Fighting_System|Street Figher UFS]]; [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] Vs. "Ayku" (wasn't sure of that name) and new [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] (GX) Starter Decks featuring [[Wikipedia:Jaden Yuki|Jaden]] (the Holo card is Elemental Hero Necroshade) and... the boy who plays with the machanic toon vehicles (I forgot his name). Tony warned me last week that he wouldn't make it today, so I worked pretty hard.

I had to sign up two new members; Bridget and Perry. Bridget's deck was perfectly Psychic, so I didn't have to work on hers, but Perry's was a bit of chaos; one [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]], one [[Wikipedia:Wartortle|Wartortle]], one [[Wikipedia:Blastoise|Blastoise]] EX, one [[Wikipedia:Turtwig|Turtwig]], one (stage 1 for turtwig), one matching stage 2, and the same column scheme applied to [[Wikipedia:Piplup|Plipup]] to [[Wikipedia:Empoleon|Empoleon]], [[Wikipedia:Chimchar|Chimchar]] to [[Wikipedia:Infernape|Infernape]] and [[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charmander]] to [[Wikipedia:Charizard|Charizard]]. And he had a bunch of non-evoling basics that made it a real messed-up haymaker, and the rest was about 2 Boost Energies, one Cyclone Energy, one Multi Energy, one Rainbow Energy, one Psychic, some of the other basics (excluding Metal and Dark) totaling to 28 Energy Cards. And he had no Trainer cards. And what he had in his book was somewhat out of order. But I perservered with a mostly colorless deck for him. :) I got a few small headaches and head-quits (that's where my brain would just zone out for about a few seconds).

Aside from today, last week at the Playstation Store, after like a couple of months, they finally added a NEW PS1 title for download and play on [[PS3]] and [[PSP of Fail|PSP]]: [[Wikipedia:Castlevania: Symphony of the Night|Castlevania - Symphony of the Night]]. It set me back about 9.99, but I downloaded it. I have made it about half-way to fully through; I'm now playing in the inverted castle (it's upside-down...freaky).

Also, I have been working hard on spreading the word around locally, on [[MySpace]] and on the [[PlayStation Network|PSNetwork]] about voting for my video on the Playstation website. I've played Motorstorm online to get a bunch of names for new acquaintances; I've rarely been able to make it at First place. But one time I did manage to make 3rd. Quite the stress-work, but it will be worth it if I win the trip to Seattle. I fantasy you and me taking the trip, having fun at the Penny Arcade Expo, maybe take a tour of the Nintendo of America company, playing [[Guitar Hero]] with you on my [[PS3]] in our hotel room, and basically just being with you, period. :) And I would give you and John the two [[PSP]]s (but I would keep one of the two [[PaRappa the Rapper]] games). But I digress...

I hope you and your family are doing well and good in Kentucky. I'd wish for you to come back sooner, but I can't control how soon John will be able to finish his mechanic course. I'll be happier when you are standing in front of me again, safe and sound. :)

That's enough from my [[Heart level|heart]] (blush) for a while, my sweet friend. I'll e-mail you again soon.

Faithfully yours;

Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Megan 07-03-06.PNG
Image:Megan 07-04-30.PNG
Image:Megan 07-06-04.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

2013

2012-01-20T21:35:34Z

Galford: Added scheduled event.

'''2013''' is the year after [[2012]].

==Scheduled events==
*January 2013 - the chocolate condom [[Chris]] bought for [[PandaHalo]] expires.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]] at 23:39</ref>
*24 February 2013 - Chris turn 31 (if he's lucky)
*May 2013 - publication of [[Wikipedia:DSM-5|DSM-5]].<ref>[http://www.dsm5.org/pages/default.aspx]
</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Love Quest

2012-01-16T23:20:54Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|You know what? Fuck it.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[Image:Christever Alone.png|thumb|Accurate depiction of Chris.]]

The '''Love Quest''', or '''Sweetheart Search''', is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the person who will be his true love, solve all his problems and give birth to his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 [[February 2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few hedgehogs short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at [[Target]]. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the [[Attraction Sign]] made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her. Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a [[Chris|"lonesome fella"]] can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous [[Attraction Sign|tactics]] and even [[fail|asking his answerer to be his sweetheart]].

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear - in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage - that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) [[fail|still on the internet]]. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:Galford

2012-01-15T23:19:51Z

Galford: Adding a quote to my userpage.

{{quote|Luxury is vulgarity, she said —and she conquered me—. From that honey ants don't feed.|Patricio Rey y sus Redonditos de Ricota<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlgtGX5BVzw La Mosca y la Sopa - Un Poco de Amor Francés]</ref>}}

==References==
<references/>

Kathleen

2012-01-15T02:25:29Z

Galford: Added citation.

'''Kathleen Nicole Wallace''' is the name of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s now ex-girlfriend, whom he dated for a while when he was twenty years old. Kathleen has never met or even interacted online with [[Chris]] before, but due to her association with one of his arch-enemies, Chris still managed to give enough of a shit about her to write letters to her and include her as a villain in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

== Background and discovery ==
Upon finding out that Jason was the creator of the Chris-Chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Chris soon convinced himself that he was also the mastermind behind all his recent troubles on the [[Internet]] and the head of all [[trolls]]. Becoming obsessed with his new enemy, Chris began an exhaustive investigation in an attempt to find some kind of dirt to use against Jason, a tactic he would later also try with [[Clyde Cash]], resulting in the [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|infamous]] [[ClydeGoingOnGregg1|blackmail]] [[To Clyde Gregg|videos]].

This eventually lead to Chris discovering Kathleen, and he concluded that when Jason was 20 years old, she was his girlfriend whilst she was still only 17 years old. Chris began announcing this wherever he could,<ref>[[Blanca_E-mails#Chris_describes_Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|Blanca E-mails]], 31 [[August 2008]] 12:56 AM</ref> essentially accusing Howell of committing statutory [[rape]]. Chris's charge, of course, assumes that Jason and Kathleen had sexual intercourse during this period, and assumes that they both lived in a state where the age of consent is 18, since in [[America]] the age laws differ greatly between states. Of course, Chris is barely even aware that there actually ''exists'' a world outside [[Virginia]], having only ever even left the state once or twice in his life, so it is unlikely he knows about this.

And of course, there's the matter that if, indeed, they were having sex and Kathleen was legally underage, the difference is small enough that most people would find no problem with it. But given Chris's [[naive|narrow minded]] nature and [[Autism|rigid and literal interpretation]] of the world around him, he was far more concerned with whether or not it was a legal issue, rather than how socially acceptable it was. His attitude towards their relationship also seems to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|contradict]] his other opinions on "[[Women's rights]]."

== Almost involvement ==
Eventually, Chris's infamous [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|counterattack]] on ED backfired on him spectacularly and caused [[Megan Schroeder]] to cut off all contact with him over [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|an image]] Chris drew of her which he uploaded to the site. Nonetheless, Chris's inability to admit fault led to him deluding himself into believing that it was the trolls who broke up the closest thing to a relationship he ever had, and he decided to take his revenge on Jason by sabotaging his relationship with Kathleen, just as he believed Jason had done to him and Megan. This never actually came to fruition, because Kathleen and Jason had already been apart for quite a while by the time Chris began conspiring to break them up.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref> That didn't stop him from trying however, and he sent Kathleen a long email to inform her of his grudge against Jason, despite having never met her, talked to her, and her probably not even knowing of his existence.

The email is as follows:

{{quotebox|Hello, Kat, I am Christian Chandler

[[Chris and his ego|You may or may not know me]] (depending on how often you're on the internet, and if you've found me by reference or search), but I have something to tell you about your "cuddle-butt", Jason. He has been playing a Major Cog in the Slander Factory known as [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and among all the innocent victims that the website has vandalized beyond the worst embarrassment known to mankind within their grasp, your [[Troll|bully]] of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the [[lulz|"LULZ"]], "Laughs Under Lucricities". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE.

Against me, that page has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]], who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found [[Rule 34|that page]] and she broke up with me. [[Heart level|It broke my heart]].

Also, the chaos from the page broke up the buddy friendship between me and my buddy, [[Joshua Martinez]], who attended [[James Madison University|Special Ed]] classes with me during our childhood.

And after the first time I found that page myself, I went into a spiral of [[Virgin with rage|rage]] against that machine, that with the break-ups and chaos, I became depressed and went into a forced-by-personal-emotions hiatus.

There are numerous other chaotic happenings that raged from the ED page, but I can't remember them all.

Anyway, the point is, if it wasn't for your "Bully Next Door", I would not have to have had to endure the [[stress]], [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|emotional pains]], [[Blanca|break-ups]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|self-torments]], etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!!!

Who knows what he may have in mind against you in relation. While he may have started with me, or possibly any one or more of the victims on Encyclopedia Dramatica, who knows when he will do something similarly [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|evil or worse]] against you.

Oh, BTW, in other states, it IS [[Chris and the Law|illegal]] for his 20-year old self to be Dating 17-year old you.

My apologies for informing you and possibly causing emotional stress and rage, but I felt it was my duty to inform you before it was too late.

Peae,

Christian Weston Chandler."}}

In essence, what Chris has done here is email a random woman who doesn't know who he even is and tell her that her boyfriend is an asshole, seemingly blames her for what he has supposedly done, says that her relationship with him was illegal, and speculates that he may physically or emotionally abuse her in the future. Most women would probably react less than kindly to a message like this even if talking about an ex, if not to defend their ex's character then most certainly because of Chris's condescending tone, but according to Jason himself, Kathleen never really did read or respond to this email, and so continued to remain unaware of this random internet retard who for some reason knew all about her.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref>

== In ''Sonichu'' ==
[[File:KNW.PNG|thumb|250px|Still better than being [[Allison Amber]].]]
As part of his continued smear campaign against Jason, Chris included both him and Kathleen in the Sonichu comics, beginning with a brief cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and later getting a proper introduction in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Like all of the characters Chris bases off real-life people and events, his embellishments say more about himself than the target of his "satire". For example, he refuses to believe that a minor would willingly engage in an "illegal" relationship with a "bully", so Chris depicts her as a slave, apparently forced to endure Jason's odious presence. Kathleen was initially dubbed "Jason's Woman Slave", and drawn with a strange BDSM costume sometimes seen crying tears of blood.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_37</ref> She never actually said or did anything in either issues, both times just standing by and watching the fights between Jason, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] with general disinterest.

Rightfully so as well, because despite Jason outright confessing that she was his sex slave, neither of the heroes make any attempt to save her, only concerned with [[Chris and his ego|their own personal vendetta]] against Jason. In fact, even when Jason is actually defeated at the end, they still leave her chained up with him, as if forgetting she was ever there at all. Rosechu even later went on to strip for [[women's rights]], but not inspired by Kathleen's plight or anything. She never even comes up. The entire demonstration is all about how Rosechu was falsely portrayed as a hermaphrodite, because apparently that is worse than slavery.

Later, advised by [[Jay Z]] during the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris made some [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|edits]] to his comics and retconned all instances of real life people included in the comics being called by their real names. Chris never actually changed their names like he did with [[Mary Lee Walsh|other characters]], but he did vow to only ever refer to them by first names from thereon.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/</ref> During the changes, Chris also retconned away the unfortunate subtext about sexual slavery, changing Kathleen's title to imply her being a willing accomplice to Jason rather than a slave, although the bondage gear remained intact. This makes Rosechu seem like less of a bitch, but it also unintentionally retcons an innocent woman into a villain, despite her never having done anything to Chris IRL, or even knowing who he is.

This may have been unintentional however. Even after her being changed to an accomplice rather than a slave, Kathleen still never did anything villainous. She remained by Jason's side, saying and doing nothing as always in her next appearance, as Jason takes the both of them away from the action in an escape pod when Chris attempts to destroy [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building with them still inside during [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Before leaving the other trolls to all die, Jason announces his retirement from trolling, his apparent conversion to Christianity, and his intentions to go out and marry Kathleen and live a quiet life in the suburbs with her.

It could be interpreted from this that Kathleen may not have been a criminal accomplice, but instead a kind of companion for Jason in the retconned comics, so maybe Chris never really did intend to retcon her into a villain. After all, the real life Kathleen never did anything bad to Chris at all, and in fact shared no interactions with him whatsoever. Why would Chris need to demonize her too? For these reasons, it seems Chris decided to let go of his need for revenge on Jason for once, and actually give one of his villains a happy ending, letting him retire in peace and letting Kathleen have a normal life with him.

Then Chris was forced by [[Jackie]] to rewrite the ending to ''Sonichu'' #10 to make it less needlessly violent concerning the [[Asperpedia]] Four and give them a happy ending, so when Chris made the [[Book10Replacement]] in which the four survive their unfair trial and are sentenced to living life in the [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community instead, Chris had to find a way to fit in that little extra bit of pointless cruelty, so the retcons also show [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in prison following her defeat by [[Colossal Chan]], and she is then joined by Kathleen, who is revealed to be her new inmate. We learn from her that she had been cheating on Jason with a 4-cent secretary for a while, and after the two fled from the collapsing building, Jason found out and they had a fight, leading to them breaking up, Jason dying by crashing into a mountain somehow, and Kathleen going home to get high on marijuana. She was subsequently caught by the police and for some reason placed in the same cell as a dangerous terrorist. She also reveals that she had tried to smuggle weed into the prison by stuffing it between her breasts and [[Sonichu Medallion|up her asshole]], but that the police had still somehow found it.

Why Chris ever felt the need to add this part is unclear. As has been said numerous times in this article, Kathleen wasn't even someone who had made an enemy of Chris in real life like the [[Jerkops]] or Mary did. Kathleen was never even aware of Chris. Yet somehow Chris saw fit to depict her as a sex slave, a depraved druggie, and an adulteress, and ends the series by putting her in prison. Your guess is as good as ours here.

== Kathleen's reaction ==
So what was Kathleen's reaction to all this you may ask? Quite simply: Nothing. As far as can be told, she has to this day still not ever read the Sonichu comics or Chris's email, and remains completely unaware of the entire Chris-Chan phenomenon. When Jason joined [[Vivian]] by providing his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]], he also made several episodes of commentary over the [[Official Videobooks]] that Chris made, where he confirmed that he and Kathleen had already broken up by the time Chris started including them in the comics, and Jason had never bothered to tell her about anything Chris had done involving her.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY&feature=relmfu</ref>

All that can be said, is that if you one day [http://www.google.co.uk/#sclient=psy&hl=en&safe=off&biw=1440&bih=785&source=hp&q=Kathleen+Nicole+Wallace&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=bb02b3c38c9f631 googled yourself] and discovered that some fat autistic man who you've never met or even heard of before had written a story about you being a sex slave to your ex, hiding marijuana up your ass and being thrown into prison with an old lady with devil horns, imagine what your reaction would be. It's a safe bet that Kathleen's wouldn't be much better.

==References==
<references></references>

==See also==
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Pedofork]]
*[[Facebook messages|Chris's Facebook messages]], which show Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|pursuing a 17 year old girl himself]]

{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

CWCville Shopping Center

2012-01-15T00:21:49Z

Galford: Added citation.

[[Image:ChrisCWCMall.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Chris raping the fourth wall in front of the mall (seen here to be called "CWCville Mall" despite other indications of it being called the "CWCville Shopping Center"]]
[[File:Mall.PNG|thumb|Aerial view]]
'''CWCville Shopping Center''', sometimes called the '''CWCville Mall''', located at the center of downtown [[CWCville]], is the location of Chris's [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayoral Office]] and a temple to consumerism in CWCville. Also, Chris's version of his beloved [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where he is not banned but rather is welcomed and works there.

Chris designed the mall as a [[CADD]] project in [[PVCC|college]], and since [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|no good school project goes unrecycled and unpublished]], is now using the design in the comics. The plans were in [[Scrapbook of Fail]],<ref>[[Blanca_E-mails#Chris_does_not_waste_any_time_in_hinting_at_a_relationship|Blanca E-mails]], 20 [[August 2008]] 5:27 AM</ref> and Chris's original AutoCAD files were leaked.

Chris has said that the city of CWCville owns the mall,<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref> which in real life doesn't usually happen unless a mall is closed off and condemned. Most existing malls, even ones that are close to dead, are owned by real estate investment trusts. Furthermore, Chris has included several stores that either don't exist in real life, or used to exist but no longer do; the store placement, selection and other fine details are all over the place, but only retail-obsessed fags would truly whine about someone making a fictional mall that has so much insanity.

Locating a mall in a downtown isn't entirely unfeasible; there is, however, no excuse for putting the fucking ''[[Mayor's office]]'' in the mall, except as a reference to the [[Adult Swim]] show [[Wikipedia:Tom Goes To The Mayor|''Tom Goes To The Mayor'']], which Chris may have watched.
[[Image:CWCMallSpaz.jpg|thumb|The Mall, as accurately depicted by Spazkid28 in ''Sonichu The Animated Series''.]]
[[File:0869-Cwcville18.JPG|thumb|Lego version of the Shopping center.]]
==Mall Stores==
* [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]]
* Arcade World (Video Games) [Yes, he's written 'Video Games' beside it, as if arcades didn't have them usually.]
* [[Wikipedia:American Eagle Outfitters|American Eagle Outfitters]]
* [http://www.annajoys.com/ Anna Joy's] (local bridal shop)
* April's Sports (local sporting goods)
* [[Wikipedia:Aéropostale (clothing)|Aeropastale [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Bath & Body Works|Bath & Body Works]]
* [[Wikipedia:Big Lots|Big Lots]]
* [http://www.brmsstore.com/ Blue Ridge Sports]
* [[Chris's resume|Books-a-Million]]
* [[Burger King]]
* [http://www.cache.com/cache/control/main Cache] [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Carlton Cards|Carlton Cards]] [One on each floor for some reason.]
* [[Wikipedia:Cellular One|Cellular One]]
* [[Wikipedia:Champs_(brand)|Champ's [sic]]] Sports
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Wikipedia:Christopher & Banks|Christopher & Banks]]
* [[Chris and ego|Christopher's Pizza]]
* [http://www.cinnamonster.com Cinnamonster]
* [[Wikipedia:Circuit City|Circuit City]] Express
* [[Wikipedia:Claire's|Claire's Boutique]]
* [[Wikipedia:Coffee Beanery|Coffee Beanery]]
* [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic, Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[Li'l Chris|Create-A-Critter]]
* [[Cutco]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:CVS/pharmacy|CVS]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dairy Queen|Dairy Queen]]
* [[Wikipedia:Disney Store|Disney Store]]
* [[Wikipedia:Dollar Tree|Dollar Tree]]
* [[Wikipedia:Finish Line, Inc.|Finish Line]]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Footaction USA]]
* [[Wikipedia:Trans_World_Entertainment#f.y.e.|F.Y.E.]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Wikipedia:Gap (clothing retailer)|Gap]]
* GCN [? - second floor, he may have meant [[Wikipedia:General Nutrition Centers|GNC]].]
* [http://www.glamourshots.com Glamour Shots]
* [[Wikipedia:NexCen Brands|Great American Cookie]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hat World|Hat World]]
* [[Wikipedia:Hallmark|Hallmark]]
* [[Megan|Hot Topic]]
* [[Wikipedia:J. C. Penney|JCPenny [sic]]]
* [[Wikipedia:Genesco|Journeys]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sterling_Jewelers#Kay_Jewelers|Kay Jewlers]] [sic]
* [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|KB Toys]]
* [http://www.kohrbros.com/ Kohr Bros. Frozen Yougurt] [sic]
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Lady Foot Locker]]
* [[Lego]] Outlet
* [[Wikipedia:LensCrafters|LensCrafters]] [Listed twice beside each other.]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited]]
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited Too]]
* [http://www.mastercuts.com/ MasterCuts]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Wikipedia:Destination Maternity|Motherhood Maternity]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mrs. Fields|Mrs. Field's [sic] Cookies]]
* [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Pacific Sunwear]]
* Paint & Play (exists, but no website for Virginia chain)
* [[Wikipedia:Payless ShoeSource|Payless Shoe Source]]
* [[Wikipedia:Pearle Vision|Pearl [sic] Vision Express]]
* [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]]
* [[Wikipedia:Red Robin|Red Robin]]
* [[Wikipedia:Ritz Camera|Ritz Camera]]
* [http://www.rockstarbodyjewelry.com/ Rock Star Body Jewelry]
* [[Wikipedia:Sam Goody|Sam Goody]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Sbarro]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sears|Sears]]
* [[Wikipedia:Spencer Gifts|Spencer Gifts]]
* [[Hannah|Starbucks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Stride Rite Corporation|Stride Rite]]
* [[Wikipedia:Suncoast Motion Picture Company|Suncoast]]
* [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|Taco Bell]]
* T&C Nails (no website, likely [[Punchy Sonichu|Chris's view]] [[Chris and race#Asians|of an average nail salon]])
* [http://www.shopbriarpatch.com/ The Briar Patch]
* [http://www.thehappycook.com/ The Happy Cook]
* The [[Pokémon]] Center
* [[The GAMe PLACe|The Toy Place]]
* [http://www.thingsremembered.com/ Things Remembered]
* Tokyo Shogun (Virginia-based Japanese mall cuisine; no website)
* [http://www.tradesecret.com/ Trade Secret]
* [[Wikipedia:Verizon|Verizon]]
* [http://www.victoriasgallery.com/ Victoria's Art Gallery]
* [[Wikipedia:Victoria's Secret|victoria's [sic] Secret]]
* [[Wikipedia:Waldenbooks|Waldenbooks]]
* [[Wikipedia:Warner Bros. Studio Store|Warner Bros. Store]]
* [[Wendy's]]
* [http://www.western-sizzlin.com/sitemap.html Western Sizzlin']
* [[Wikipedia:YesAsia|YesAsia.com]] Outlet Store
* [[Wikipedia:Zale Corporation|Zales Jewelry]]
* [[Wikipedia:Zany Brainy|Zany-Brainy]]

==Non-Store Facilities==
* [[Wikipedia:Bank of America|Bank of America]] ATM
* [[Wikipedia:BB&T|BB&T]] ATM
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]
* [[Jerkop|Mall Security]]/Customer Service
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Restrooms]] [Multiple]
* [[Wikipedia:Wachovia|Wachovia]] ATM

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] - The IRL version of the CWCville mall.

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original project files]

{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Fictional places]]

Scrapbook of Fail

2012-01-14T20:09:27Z

Galford: Orthographic correction.

[[Image:I Am The TRUE, Original.jpg|thumb|Chris shows off the Scrapbook of Fail in [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]]]

The '''Scrapbook of Fail''' is the book with every comic [[Chris]] has drawn, his hand drawn ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine, and plans of the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

On 24 [[March 2009]], [[PandaHalo]] released an entire scan of the scrapbook she received from Chris.

==Contents==
A staggering amount of new art is revealed, including many pieces that have appeared in other places in different contexts, indicating that Chris is in fact so unoriginal that he often [[Recycling|recycles]] his own pictures.

While reusing pictures as "stock" for various promotional materials is acceptable in the case of a multi-billion dollar, multi-national company such as the [[Mary Poppins|Disney Company]], Chris hardly qualifies, given that he is barely able to put out one comic a year, and the Disney Co. is able to run multiple international theme parks simultaneously, on top of production of many different film projects at once.

==Appearances in the comic==
* Shown to [[Hanna]] in [[Sub-Episode 2]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:385-HedgehogUnity1.jpg
Image:386-HedgehogUnity2.jpg
Image:387-HedgehogUnity3.jpg
Image:388-HedgehogUnity4.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Links==
* [[:Category:Scrapbook images|All 518 images]]
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=LMZN7FC1 Download link]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]][[Category:Media produced by Chris-chan]]

Autism

2012-01-14T19:21:58Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris is basically non-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never had a real girlfriend, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]], yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|left|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not Ian Brandon Anderson and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[naive|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor Roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random access humor|"humor"]]

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games, him trying to remain a child, or fear of failure. More than likely though this more to the fact that Chris is lazy, fat, selfish, naive, incompetent, refuses to grow up, and refuses to accept responsibility.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered on Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed urban myth alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a higher (in his eyes, superior) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is [[List of Chris's lies|the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.]]

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

2002

2012-01-14T13:42:00Z

Galford: Added citation.

[[Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|thumb|Chris, turning 20 in '''2002'''.]]
The year '''2002''' is the year that [[Christian Weston Chandler]] turned 20 years old. What Chris did in this year is mostly a mystery, but it might include playing the [[vidya]].

==Events of 2002==
===February===
* 20 February - The Shining [[Sonichu]] card is created.
* 24 February - Chris's [[love quest]] allegedly begins.<ref>''"And I would like to point out right now, at this--at, uh--during my--ever since I--ev--during the whole--my whole Sweetheart Search has started, when I turned twenty-one, on February 24, 2002."'', [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] </ref> He also creates the Turbo [[Rainbow]] card to put on The [[Wall of Originals]].
===March===
* 11 March - Armat, Steeline and Dark Steeline are created by Chris.
* 16 March - Chris offers a [[naïve]] definition of love when he creates the Sonichu & [[Rosechu]] card. "Sonichu and Rosechu love each other so much, that neither one ever forgets the other's birthday."
* 21 March - Chris creates the Evil Energy card.
* 24 March - Evails, the famous Eevee-Tails hybrid, is born, as well as its evolution, Supreon. Also, Chris creates the Whammy!!!... card, featuring a character ripped off from the 80's game show "Press Your Luck."
* 25 March - Chris makes a Dark Christian card, and threatens to kill Harry Potter on it.
* 28 March - [[Ultra Sonichu]] is created by Chris.
===April===
* 5 April - Techti and Cytiger, technological Pokemon, are born.
* 11 April - Chris creates the [[Sonichu Ball]] card.
* 13 April - Chris creates the Chaos Emerald card, and makes two Power Rangers themed cards called "Bulk and Skull" and "Sonichu Zord".
===May===
* 15 May - Chris creates the Shiney Stadium card.
* 31 May - Chris buys his Gamecube.<ref>''"I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two."'', [[Animal Crossing Documentary#Transcription|Animal Crossing Documentary]] </ref>
===June===
* June - Chris stops working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[Toys "R" Us]].
* June - Chris starts working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[The Game Place]].
===July===
* 24 July - Black Sonichu, or [[Blake]], is born.
===September===
* 4 September - Chris signs his own guestbook on his website as [[Ricardo]], and says that [[Harry Potter]] is a "spaz".
* 7 September - The Christian's Maintenance card is created for the Wall of Originals.
===November===
*21 November - Release of ''[[Pokémon]] Ruby'' and ''Sapphire'': First appearance of [[Pokémon#Boulder-Dropping Whale|Wailord]], [[Pokémon#Mudkip|Mudkip]].
===December===
*10 December - [[Barb]] is pulled over and is charged with the following offense: "DEFECTIVE RIGHT SIDE BRAKE LT"<ref>[[:File:Barbchan2.PNG]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

File:Barbchan2.PNG

2012-01-14T13:36:42Z

Galford: A little more info on Barb's traffic ticket.

A little more info on Barb's traffic ticket.

The MovingFoward videos

2012-01-13T15:35:08Z

Galford: Added quote.

[[Image:ARCH.jpg|center|300px]]
{{quote|If a [[troll]] actually comes up with such "footage" and gives it to someone like [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde would NOT give out any [[money]]. So, with that considered, I would never make such a gay video, or PS3-wrecking video, for even a Billion Dollars.|Chris, two days before doing the video. For free.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 10]]</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcps3.jpg|thumb|One lucky console]]

The '''MovingFoward videos''' are a compilation of three leaked videos ('''MovingFoward''', '''MovingFurtherFoward''', '''100_2209.MOV''') where [[Chris]] physically destroys his [[PS3]]. Having first followed [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|good hard drive disposal practice]], Chris says a few choice words before destroying the console with a brick, [[Son-Chu|his car]], and some scissors. Some photographs of the console in various states of destruction were also leaked.

Chris says that after smashing his console and driving over it with his car, he plugged it in again, apparently to prove that it would no longer function. He seems to have been unaware of the [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|danger of fire]] or [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric]] shock involved (or perhaps, in his despondent state, he simply didn't care).

Many [[trolls]] had come up with theories as to why Chris smashed his beloved Life Upgrade. Eventually, it was revealed in a [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|communication between Chris and some high-profile trolls]] that Chris wanted to claim a very large monetary reward for its destruction. To no one's surprise, not only was there supposedly a reward waiting for such an act like this, but it has been completely in vain on Chris's part.

Interesting to note here is that, like the snake he tried to run over, the cardboard box and the [[clown doll]], it takes Chris three tries AND [[ItIsFinished.MOV|a coup de grace the next day]] just to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|BREAK DEAD]] his PS3.

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward & 100_2209.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2rVhTdCIJc8}}
| stardate = 29 August 2010
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}, Sleeveless Pokéshirt
| previous = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
| next = [[ItIsFinished.MOV]]

}}

{{quote|Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you... fond... faredieu.}}

== Transcript ==

===Part one (MovingForward)===

[''An opening title card appears, which reads "MovingForward." We cut to Chris, who is standing around outside and shakily filming himself with a handheld camera.'']

Saturday, August 28, 2010.

[''Chris removes his [[glasses]].'']

I make this video... as a tribute... to [[Gal-pal|what I have lost]]. But also from which I have lost, I have [[Hair|lost something that was of important value]], but I am able to let go. It is the [[Song of Christian|spirit of myself... of which was very lonely]]. But now move on, to a [[Video games|much brighter future]]. And now for the... feature presentation. On this video. What you are about to see is [[April 16 Fetish Vids|uncensored and unedited]].

[''He moves the camera to show his PS3, which has a case cover plastered in artwork of himself and [[Sonichu]].'']

My PlayStation 3, here in the backyard.

[''He opens the access port to show the hard drive.'']

The hard drive still in there. [''pause''] Formatted as it was. And for a memento... I'm keeping the cover.

[''He removes the case cover, complete with the original [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] drawing, and puts it to one side. Then he focuses the camera on himself again.'']

Again, it's very- this- this is [[CWCFlyingElephants|very graphic]], so if you are weak in the stomach, especially as a gamer, look away, and I mean no [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|disrespect to Sony Computer Entertainment America]]. Maker of the fine product.

[''Chris mumbles something unintelligible amid the noise of moving the camera. He then sets the camera down so it is focused on his PS3. H then puts on a pair of work gloves and picks up a piece of landscaping brick while an airplane flies overhead.'']

Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. [[Chris and English|I bid you... fond... faredieu.]] Adieu. Fond farewell~...

[''Chris uses the brick to bash his PS3 for the better part of a minute, never raising the brick over his head and only cracking the outer case. [[Chris and health|He pauses a few times to catch his breath]]. After a time, he moves back over to the camera.'']

[[Chris and reality|Crushed. Unplayable.]] The deed is done.

===Part two (MovingFurtherForward)===

[''Cut to a second title card, "MovingFurtherForward." It is nighttime - barely anything is visible. The camera is looking at Chris's driveway, in front of his (running) car. The headlights allow us to see Chris place the PS3 in front of the left front wheel of Son-Chu. He gets in the car, backs up, and pulls forward, running over the PS3. After a long pause, during which a loud thumping sound is heard and a dog starts to bark, he backs up over it and pulls forward over it again. Chris moves over to the camera again and points it at something, presumably the PS3.'']

Well, you get the idea, anyway. It's useless! Broken!

===Part three (REALLYMovingForward)===

[''Cut to a third title card, "'100_2209.MOV' (A.K.A. 'REALLYMovingForward')." We are in Chris's bedroom. The camera shows us the wreckage of his PS3, very much the worse for wear. In addition to beating the hell out of it, he appears to have cracked the case and broken it down to its component parts, which he shows us by panning the camera around. Chris's speech appears to be [[Alcohol|slurred slightly]].'']

[''sighs''] Well, I [[6 June 2010|run it over with a car]] and smashed it with a brick. Ugh. I thought I hit it on the metal part and the heavy plastic, but still, when I look at- still, when I plugged it in, it did not turn on. Actually, it went into standby mode, but that's all- as far as it went. That's all it went. So right now I'm gonna finish the job. Finish the job.

[''Chris sets down the camera to show himself and the PS3 parts. He then picks up a pair of scissors, which he uses to stab repeatedly at bits of his former console. Partway through the stab-fest, he unfolds the scissors and goes at it two-fisted. Wearing out after about 45 seconds, he folds up his scissors and sifts through the debris.'']

[[Duck|Look at that bend.]] [[Chris and anger|Broke a whole buncha stuff.]] Now you tell me... it's still good! It ain't now!

[''Chris stands up and the video cuts off.'']

== Destruction gallery ==

In addition to the poor quality video footage of the PS3's destruction, numerous photographs of the before and after have been leaked:

<center><gallery>
File:PreCar1.JPG|Pre-Car
File:PreCar2.JPG|Car
File:PostCar.JPG|Post-Car
</gallery></center>
<center><gallery>
File:100 2208.JPG
File:100 2210.JPG
File:100 2211.JPG
File:100 2212.JPG
File:100 2213.JPG
File:100 2214.JPG
File:100 2215.JPG
File:Cameragroup002.jpg
File:Cameragroup003.jpg
File:Cameragroup004.jpg
</gallery></center>
== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = R.I.P. CWC's PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|iPKvmCzuDC0}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2010
| Maker = tehcosmicexplorer08
| Video Type = Tribute
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute To Chris-Chan's PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lFIVUtNszoE}}
| Stardate = 1 September 2010
| Maker = MountieFromHell
| Video Type = Music video
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = R.I.P. PLAYSTATION ;(
| video = {{#ev:youtube|C6ZyvxUcAMk}}
| Stardate = 13 January 2011
| Maker = shadupp
| Video Type = Music Video
}}

==References==
<references/>

== See also ==
*[[PS3]]
*[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]
*[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]
*[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]|nextlink=[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2010| 2010-08-29]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-08-29]]

Talk:Virgin with rage

2012-01-13T02:32:05Z

Galford: Added signature.

==To do==
*add references to the phrase "virgin with rage" in Chris's works
*note how he associates violence with sex (he's a "virgin with rage", sex is described in "gory" details, etc.)
*Also how he masturbates or how he drew that picture of Megan to quell violent urges so he doesn't "fly off the handle." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:12, 8 June 2009 (CEST)
*Another thing Chris stole, that line about hormones slam banging is from the first episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Good job Chris, you can't even be a horny creep without stealing something. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 20:37, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

==Views on virginity==
In my opinion, the section could be expanded with statements Chris made about virginity in general and the properties he connects with losing one's virginity.
*He stated several times that just about everyone else loses their virginity in their teens, seemingly unaware of reality and statitics regarding this, for example that 4% of Americans will die a virgin or that 10% of males leaving higher education are still virgins, not to mention about 1 in 3 18-year olds of both sex. He might be simply unaware of this, ignore statistics in his self-centered view or because of the implication that he most likely will be one of the 4%(unless he goes to a prostitute).
*This page could also be linked to the one where he describes his fantasy-scenario of losing it to PandaHalo.
*He also implies that experiencing the "Power of Sex" will instantly transform his character, as he justifies his poor social skills regarding chatting up woman with "How should I know, I'm a Virgin" in the VivitheG-chat. There are probably more references of this kind out there.
*He probably also thinks that it would prove him being hetero. Some people on the autism spectrum experience difficulties identyfying their gender preferences unless they had some kind of physical evidence (I just read of a case of a sexually deviant autist who was sexually assaulted by an older man he regarded as a father figure and therefore concluded he had to be bisexual).
Actually, that would also explain his staunt view on male homosexuality to some extent, because he can not be entirely sure of his sexual identity unless there is something to "prove" it, also evidenced by his "I'm heterosexual" video.
I just want to know your opinions before including and referency stuff.[[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:17, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== On Chris touching Megan ==

There are a couple of needed citations about which specific parts of Megan's anatomy Chris inappropriately touched. It is entirely possible that Chris touched both Megan's hair and Megan's shoulder without her consent.

What supports the notion of Chris touching Megan's hair is [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|this mail]] by Megan. There she states: "''The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so''". It could be assumed from this that Chris, at some point, tried to mimic Nina by patting Megan on the head.

What supports the notion of Chris touching Megan's shoulders is [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Pinned_against_the_wall|this mail]] by Megan. There she states: "''So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall''". What comes to mind when thinking about someone pinning someone else against a wall is for the first person to put his hands in the other person's shoulder area. However, given Chris's weight and clumsiness, it can be argued that he pinned her without the need of using his hands.

The notion of touching her shoulders can also be supported by Lucas' [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan|response]]: "''He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of bros''". Given the relative height between Megan and Chris it is possible that he put his arm around her and rested his hand on her shoulder. Once again, given Chris's peculiar body language and general clumsiness this can't be taken as fact.

So, even thought it is quite probable that Chris touched Megan in those specific spots, it can't be demonstrated as fact given the sources available. I would recommend to rephrase the sentence to a more general description of his inappropriate touching and add Chris's [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_kiss_me.2C_bro|attempt to kiss Megan]]. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 18:32, 12 January 2012 (PST)

Talk:Virgin with rage

2012-01-13T02:31:00Z

Galford: /* On Chris touching Megan */ new section

2007

2012-01-13T00:07:16Z

Galford: Added citation.

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris in '''2007'''.]]
[[Image:S2007.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (blue) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (red). 2007 is marked in [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Mellow Yellow]].]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|In protest to 2007's creation of the [[ED]] page, he draws himself fingerfucking his best friend.]]
[[Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|thumb|On '''11 February 2007''', Chris made this.]]
[[Image:SoulCalibur3box.jpg|thumb| On '''8 May 2007''', [[MLW]] gets it in [[Soul Calibur|SCIII]].]]
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|'''July 2007''']]
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|On '''26 October 2007''', this picture is taken at [[The GAMe PLACe]].]]
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|One of the images Chris drew on '''11 November 2007'''.]]

'''The year we made contact.'''

The second half of the year '''2007''' shows some important developments within [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s life.

Firstly, Chris enters and loses the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], leaving him disillusioned and enraged.

Secondly, he discovers a satirical page written about him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. These two injustices lead Chris into a bitter, long and frustrated [[rage]], eventually giving spark to certain deep, complex and mysterious aspects of madness within his person, that, when revealed, would prove to be a decisive factor leading to obsessive [[troll]]ing in [[2008]].

==Events of 2007==

===February===
* February 11 - Christian makes the cover for his [[Chris's DVD|"I'm on TV" DVD]].
* February 19 - Christian starts making the slideshow for his DVD.
* February 22 - Christian finishes the slideshow.
* February 24 - Christian's 25th birthday.
* February 24 - Chris releases his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"future message"]].

===March===
* March 5 - Chris draws (the cover of) ''[[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]''.
* March 6 - In response to an email from Chris about the DVD, [[Cole Smithey]] expresses his disdain for [[Barbara]] and [[Bob]].
* March 6 - Chris cashes in his first [[My Coke Rewards]] points, beginning a campaign that will see him consume more than 2500 bottles worth of Coke.
* March 17 - Chris realizes that he is able to afford a 60GB Playstation 3, so he goes out and invests in one.

===May===
* May 8 - Christian creates his first [[YouTube]] account.
* May 8 - Christian uploads a video of him beating up [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''.

===June===
* June 6 - [[Megan]] leaves for Kentucky.
* June ?? - Chris stops working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[The Game Place]].
* June 27 - Christian states that he is saddened, as Megan has left for Kentucky. He misses her.
* June 27 - Christian cries with his mother whilst thinking of [[Patti]] the dog.
* June 29 - Christian makes his ''PaRappa the Rapper'' video and enters [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]].

===July===
* July 7 - Christian buys a Velvet Touch masturbator.
* July 14 - Chris is featured in the [[:File:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|Daily Progress]] section of his local newspaper.
* July 16 - Chris buys himself an [[Officer Nasty]] love doll.
* July 18 - Chris hears his Parappa video has made it to the final rounds. He is overjoyed.
* July 23 - Megan's 21st birthday. She is still in Kentucky, and Chris misses her.

===August===
* August 3 - [[Adam Stackhouse]] wins the PaRappa the Rapper Contest.
* August 3 - Christian immediately sends an enraged e-mail to [[Sony]]. He is furious because he didn't get the opportunity to impress Megan.
* August 3 - In an e-mail to Megan, Christian admits to cheating to win the PaRappa the Rapper Contest.
* August 4 - Christian writes another angry letter to Sony, explaining why the other contestants should be disqualified. He also curses Adam Stackhouse in his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]], which results in an admin timing him out.
* August 8 - Megan sends Christian an angry letter, complaining about him touching her. She says she is happy he lost the contest. According to Chris: "It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover."
* August 8 - Christian apologizes to Megan for "touching" her.
* August 10 - Sony responds to Christian's e-mail. They don't take him seriously.
* August 13 - Christian writes to Megan about having confessed his love to her.
* August 20 - Chris buys himself another Officer Nasty love doll, possibly because his other one suffered an internal injury.
* August ?? - Chris uploads [[CWC is Angry]].

===September===
* September 4 - [[Bob]]'s birthday. Chris makes him a cake.[http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6]

===October===
* October 3 - Christian buys a LAI MI Asian sex doll.
* October 8 - Christian apologizes to Megan for being too pushy.
* October 19 - Christian shows hostile behavior towards a friend of Megan.
* October 20 - Christian apologizes to Megan for his hostile behavior. He blames it on his homophobia.
* October 26 - The day that the trolling of Chris began. He is photographed at the Game Place playing ''[[Pokémon]]''. The same day he gets [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2636398&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8#post335082042 mentioned] in a SomethingAwful thread (Requires ''Archives'' account to view) by one of his former classmates at PVCC.
* October 27 - Due to the Ulillillia thread getting derailed, a [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671 thread on SomethingAwful] is created about Chris. (Requires ''Archives'' account to view.)
* October 31 - The SomethingAwful Sycophant Squad (SASS) creates a thread on Chris titled ''Sonichuuuuuuuu...''
* October 31 - [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page is created (according to Christian - according to the history, it was created a bit later).

===November===
* November 2 - Christian discovers the ED page and becomes furious. Again according to himself, this is also contradicted by the time for the page's creation.
* November 3 - The Chris-Chan article on ED is created at 5:45 PM (Ruckersville time) by [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].
* November 3 - [http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7631380&x=sonichu 4chan Fan-Art thread]. [[Evan]] e-mails some of the images to Chris.
* November 4 - [http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response Chris is angered] by the sexual imagery of Sonichu and himself. He demands a picture of Rosechu "masturbating and squirtin'".
* November 5 - Barbara finds out about him being photographed at the [[Game Place]], and goes mad.
* November 5 - In an E-Mail to Anna, Chris discloses that he has been chatting with [[Lori Lopez]].
* November 7 - Christian shoots a [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|video]] asking to have the ED article edited to "better reflect his personality".
* November 9 - Barbara goes to the Game Place and questions manager [[Michael (Game Place)|Michael]] about the picture that was taken. She asks to be offered a seat, but as there is no seat, she has to sit on the floor.
* November 10 - [[Michael (Game Place)|Michael]] tells Chris that if he brings up ED once again, he will be banned from the Game Place.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref>
* November 10 - A picture of Goatse is added to the ED page, and Christian finally breaks down and creates the Reldnahc account to remove it. He then begins [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica#November_2007|rewriting the article]] in a more favorable light towards him.
* November 11 - In response to she-male and homoerotic Sonichu fan art on the ED page, Chris draws five [[Rule 34]] drawings and adds them to the article in protest. Most feature his Sonichu characters; one in particular depicts himself fingering a woman who is later identified as Megan.
* November 12 - Chris adds entries from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], details about how he lost Megan, and information about his sex doll [[Officer Nasty]] to the ED page. By now Chris has willingly provided 90% of the information that will be used to mock him henceforth.
* November 15 - Christian tries to hack ED using HTML. It doesn't work.
* November 23 - Chris buys a 160 GB SATA hard drive for his PS3, greatly increasing its storage space.

===December===
* December 23 - Chris apparently abandons [[CWC's Cool Profile]].
* December 26 - Chris buys [[Kimmi]], the anime love doll, on Adamandeve.com, probably because his parents didn't buy it for him as a Christmas gift.
* December 28 - Once again, Chris returns to [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica#December_2007|editing]] the text of his ED article into a more positive one.
* December 30 - With a new ED account, "Chris-Chan", Chris starts vandalizing ED.
* December 30 - Christian writes the poem "[[For My True Love, I Would…]]".<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

McDonald's

2012-01-12T21:14:21Z

Galford: Added citations.

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'''Troll:''' How often do you eat at McDonald's? Uh, when do you go there? '''Chris:''' Uh, not very often, I'd say like, uh... You know, two or three times a week.|[[Mumble 8]]}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Some Shitty Recolour]] enjoys a typical visit to a McDonald's in [[CWCville]].]]

'''[[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]]''' is [[CWC|Chris's]] [[restaurant]] of choice. Chris's ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here. His favorite items are [[Wikipedia:Chicken McNuggets|Chicken McNuggets]]<ref>[[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_2_2]]</ref><ref>[[CWC%27s_Diary#March_2]]</ref> and the $1 sweet tea.<ref>[[Mailbag 28]]</ref>

Additionally, Chris's preference for McDonald's was symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who preferred [[Burger King]].<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut]]</ref> Chris also met the real life [[B-Manajerk]] in a [[Wal-Mart]] McDonald's.

==Possible cause for health problems==
[[Image:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald McDonald reading ''[[Sonichu]]''.]]
Chris's [[Chris and health|inactive lifestyle and constant consumption of McDonald's]] may contribute to his growing [[obesity]], as well as his [[Wikipedia:Hypercholesterolemia|hypercholesterolemia]]. The number of times Chris claims to eat food from McDonald's, two or three times a week, is equivalent to going about 130 times a year. At this rate of consumption, Chris will likely develop [[Chris and health|serious medical problems]]. It's possible that he might develop [[Wikipedia:heart disease|heart disease]] or [[Wikipedia:Diabetes mellitus type 2|diabetes mellitus type 2]] in the near future if he continues to live the way he does. The likelihood of him passing away before the age of fifty due to heart attack or [[Wikipedia:Stroke|stroke]] increases each month.

It also doesn't help that [[Chris and reality|he doesn't seem to realize]] just how bad fast food is. He mentioned once that ordering a chicken salad is healthier, which is a common misconception.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> Salads at most restaurants, especially fast food chains, come with high-calorie dressing and fried chicken or taco filling, which makes the salad worse than a hamburger. Let's not forget to mention that he drinks the sweet tea, which likely also contains high-fructose corn syrup, and he probably eats french fries with his meals.

==Conflict with Kacey==
During Chris's abortive attempt to win over [[Kacey]] as his [[sweetheart]], at her behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. One of Kacey's particular demands was that Chris quit eating fast food, an expectation he almost entirely failed to live up to. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was unquestionably a lie.

Since Kacey's marriage to [[Liquid Chris]] in mid-[[November 2009]], the McNuggets have almost certainly resumed their steady march down Chris's bottomless gullet.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Punchyfeedslayla.jpg|thumb|right|300px|"Have some fistfull fries!"]]
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|#4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|#5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Quicky Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where it seems to be a popular place to go on a date. [[Punchy]] took [[Layla]] there on their first date.

==McDonald's Monopoly 2009==
Chris began stuffing his face full of this shit since the [[Wikipedia:Monopoly (board game)|''Monopoly'']] [[2009]] promotion started. He claimed to not care about it in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video]], only to [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Results|create more accounts later and enter 65 codes from purchased goods]].

===Account I (October 6 - October 20)===
52 codes (43 of them from purchased things)

*52. St. Charles Place
*51. Oriental Avenue
*50. Baltic Avenue
*49. Park Place
*48. Marvin Gardens

===Account II (October 21)===
11 codes (10 of them from purchased things)

*11. Park Place
*10. North Carolina Avenue
*9. Illinois Avenue
*8. Community Chest (2)
*7. Oriental Avenue

===Account III (October 22 - October 23)===
7 codes (6 of them from purchased things)

*7. Park Place
*6. Community Chest (3)
*5. Illinois Avenue
*4. New York Avenue
*3. Electric Company

===Account IV (October 23 - October 28)===
8 codes (6 from purchased things)

*8. Reading Railroad
*7. Luxury Tax
*6. North Carolina Avenue
*5. [[Wikipedia:Baltimore and Ohio Railroad|B. & O. Railroad]]
*4. [[Wikipedia:Pennsylvania Railroad|Pennsylvania Railroad]]

==McCosplay==
[[File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|thumb|Chris as the Hamburglar, [[Chris and cosplaying|apparently.]]]]
[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|At least it hides his tits.]]
In the beginning of [[October 2010]], Chris apparently remembered [[Jackie]] telling him that she liked his [[cosplay]] videos. Following a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|controversial cosplay video]] over two weeks before, Chris decided to continue his act with McDonald's characters.

His first McDonaldland act was [[100 2265|the Hamburglar]], where he [[CWCFlyingElephants|ran around his room acting batshit crazy]], wearing a BDSM costume that looked nothing like the Hamburglar whatsoever.

The next day, Chris attempted to cosplay [[100 2266|Grimace]]. [[Chris and art|Needless to say]], the Grimace costume he made was beyond recognition. Whilst wearing the costume, he delivered a speech about [[autism]] and bullying before breaking out into song. It is likely that Chris got this idea from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' in which [[Wikipedia:Lois Griffin|Lois]] dresses up as [[Wikipedia:The Grimace|The Grimace]] - Peter responds with a comment that Grimace is autistic himself.

{{Lists}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]

Trollin Train

2012-01-12T16:57:02Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{Articleofthenow}}
'''Trollin Train''' was a fake [[troll]] forum, established on 27 [[July 2010]], which Chris frequented under the trollsona "[[JenkinsJinkies]]." He eventually gave up on posting, afraid that when [[jerkops]] "busted" the forum they would mistake him for a troll.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_22|Jackie E-mails]], 14 [[November 2010]]</ref>

Trollin Train is an excellent example of both Chris's [[Naive|naïveté]] and his [[ego]]. His JenkinsJinkies persona was instantly recognized by the trolls due to his narrow grasp of [[Chris and English|the English language]], and taken advantage of from the start. Furthermore, his arrogance led him to believe that all of the trolls had immediately fallen for his ruse and that a fourteen-year-old sodomist who had moved in ''directly'' across the street from Chris would fit in perfectly with the secret trolling circle (because in [[Chris and Reality|Chris's mind]], all trolls are really angsty gay children and not regular people with jobs and girlfriends who troll Chris in their spare time for fun). Needless to say, the JenkinsJinkies [[Manboobs|teat]] was milked for all it was worth and Chris went along without ever realizing it.

==Chris's Posts==
===Hey, Everyone! J.J. has arrived. (Thu 29 July 2010 12:19 AM)===
A new thread in which Chris introduces himself:
{{quoteboxred|First, let me say I am most humbled to be welcomed among my fellow Troll Kind. [[File:Smiley smug.gif]]

Well, let me tell a bit more about myself for starters. My real name is [[Junior Jenkins]] (Scooby-Doo was the inspiration behind the "Jinkies"). LOL. I had a [[birthday]] recently on the 16th of July, so now I'm 15. I couldn't celebrate it with my friends like I would have wanted to, because I was hitchhiking my way to [[Ruckersville]] from Boston. I'm crashing at a house where I have some relatives there (They're the fucking Black Sheep of the family, and they're not close within the same house. It is cool, because they won't rat me out to my parents and siblings. Like I need another damn minute with those assholes who overlook me). And a better part, their house is across the street from [[14 Branchland Court|Chrissy's house]]. Sadly, though, the blinds to [[Chris's room|his bedroom]] are always closed, but I still get some sights of him and the family out of their house.

I've arrived at my new home a few days ago on the 20th. I'll be spending my Sophmore year and so on in Greene County's High School. I promised I'd write to my gal back in Boston, but what happens here she doesn't have to know. [[File:Emot-dong.gif]] I'll have to make some new friends come September, but I'll be cool; I'm a stud!

I'll also miss my favorite duo of dudes, Jerry and Dino. They taught me the ropes of high school life; they both were 16. I looked up to them (like I would have for [[Carol Chandler|my older sister]] if she wasn't such a fuckin' cunt). They were a [[Homos|gay]] couple, and they respected me as a friend only. I made it my Final Realization I was not gay with the help of Jerry and my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]], Lisa. Sweet little whore took me in with gratitude on my 14th birthday. She had a few exes from [[Middle School]], and her mom was a Bondage Queen.

Before then, I had a gay experience in Summer Camp when I was 7. My bunkmates were experimenting, and made me their mo-fo unwilling guinea pig. I was blindfolded during the whole thing, feeling an 8-year old's [[pickle|dick]] up my ass. I was not thrilled from the ordeal. But [[January 2010|last January]], I became curious from the recalling of the feeling, so I asked Jerry to show me a night. At first it was neutral, then he made out with me; his breath was minty with a hint of garlic from something he ate; it was cool with me. Then he told me to suck his dick, and I did; the taste and sight did not thrill me. And he sucked [[Duck|mine]]. He got a rise out of me, but then I started to feel uneasy. It was minor at first, and I promised myself I'd see this through. Finally, he was in me doggy style. As he humped me, I was feeling it both in my penis, and in my gut; worsening as he went on. And eventually, I embarrassed myself grossly. I came AND fucking threw up simultaneously. Jerry had not come yet himself, and out of respect, he withdrew himself and asked me if I was okay. He cleaned me, and my mess on his floor up. I felt soo damn ashamed, but Jerry was kind and understanding to me. And it was then I confirmed it for myself that I was not gay, and Jerry and Dino agreed with me. So with that, I was able to move forward feeling more confident in my orientation. [[File:Emot-spergin.png]]

Anyway, after moving here, I have studied the times of exits and entries from the Chandler Chateau, looking for a pattern. There was definitely one with [[Bob|Robert]], morning for breakfast at [[Burger King|B.K.]] and afternoon outings to I.D.K. where. [[Barbara]] appears to come out mostly either in the afternoon or night; sometimes in the mornings. And Chris has no set pattern as far as I can tell yet.

But I'll post new stuff as I learn them, some with (hopefully embarrassing) photographs of Chris as I learn and take.

Smell ya later,
Junior Jenkins "Jinkies".|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=579&highlight=#579]</ref>}}

===Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)===
Another new thread. Parts of this message were very clearly dictated to Chris by [[Bob]]. In it, Chris makes the absurd assumption that the trolls are animal abusers, and was snapped at by the trolls in response.
{{quoteboxred|I've been keeping watch over Christian's house for any consistent patterns or LULZy details. I had seen none, even when I went over there while no one was at home. Although, I did mess up the [[cats]] a bit by stepping on their paws; the scratches and bites were worth it. All of the doors were locked (big surprise). Their garden was a big jungle (only half my height, though; about 2 feet high max). I found no incriminating evidence in their garbage.

But recently, I made a call to their house and pretended to be a fan of [[Sonichu]]. Bob was bored I guess, and he talked to me. After mentioning the Trolls, Bob said to me, "Sissies that hide behind screen names and the [[internet]] are the biggest bunch of cowards and the scum of the earth. They are afraid to come out one-on-one, face-to-face. [[Hooker incident|They would hide behind their mothers' skirts.]]" Then he directed to one of our own he found out somehow, "Females are the worst; such as Miranda "Enjoy The Big [[Pickle]]" Cosgrove." That surprised me greatly, but in defensefor you, Miranda, Bob would be of no match against you.

Then Bobby said, "Meet me in person at [[Burger King]] in [[Ruckersville]] Any Day between 9:30 & 10:30 AM, and I will talk to you and your friends and answer your questions. Christian and I are not afraid and have nothing to hide. We are [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] and above bored." We chatted some more and then he hung up.

I'd say let's troll Bobby further to get to Chrissy. I went there this morning; he was civil and gave me some info on Chris, such as that he has a complete collection of [[Wikipedia:50 State quarters|the United State Quarters]] on a Map (What a dumb way to save [[money]]). He also calls Chris a good boy (I agree with him; he ain't grown up). And, ooh, this is a good one; Chris tried to roller skate, and fell multiple times, even though he did a lot better on Ice Skates at the Ice Park (a class he took at [[PVCCitizens]]).

I'm sure the more of us that go to Bobby and talk to him, the more information we can get out of him about Chrissy for our schemes.

I'll continue to keep watch and let y'all know when something new and lulzy comes up.

Junior Jenkins.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=953&highlight=#953]</ref>}}

=== Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 AM)===
In response to a thread announcing that Chris had discovered Trollin Train:
{{quoteboxred|Chris found this Forum?!!! I agree with you, Miranda, what if Chris doesn't download our virus at all; he's reading our plans, he may just boycott downloading ANYTHING new from [[ModNation Racers|ModNation]] or [[LittleBigPlanet|LittleFuckPlanet]]. And even IF [[Sony]] doesn't read what he wrote, they are aware of our shit as well. I tell ya, he ain't hiding, he's snitchin' on us for the fuckin' "good" of every lazy fuck on the PSN. Anti-Viruses can be put into any next Update now.

Plus, Chris may come out of hiding and make a video to put the close on our fuckin' repeated death rumor. And I have noticed something else, with my Laptop, I managed to use a bit of his Wi-Fi (it goes all around his yard). It Disappears Nightly, and sometimes Daily. He's Unplugging his Internet, keeping us out.

[[File:Emot-frogsiren.gif]]

I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1011&highlight=#1011]</ref>}}

The "virus" he mentions was in reference to a thread in which trolls claimed to be putting viruses into ''LBP'' and ''ModNation'' DLC that Chris would be likely to download. Note that [[wikipedia:Bellows (photography)|cameras with bellows]] have not been used by trolls since 1912; Chris ''may'' have been listening to tales from [[Bob]], but this seems unlikely.

===That plan is NO GOOD (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:48 AM)===
In response to a thread about digging up Patti:
{{quoteboxred|I personally took a closer look at [[Patti]]'s grave; it is Harder to break in than [[Wikipedia:United States Bullion Depository|fort fuckin' knox]]. the body is buried deep underground with Cement Blocks covering the site, and her [[Father Call|HEAVY Dog House]] is on top of those Cement Blocks. I wouldn't be surprised if they Cemented her grave as well. Also, the site is Heavily Surrounded by Trees and Heavy Branches; it's like Deepest in the Mine Shaft with Cave-Ins happening all the time.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1012&highlight=#1012]</ref>}}

=== Nah, dude (Thu 26 Aug 2010 4:55 AM)===
In response to a thread about getting [[The Bear]] to call Chris "Mr. Poopy Head" so that Chris would have to rename himself to "Mr. Poopy Head Weston Chandler". The post was likely made in the wrong thread, as it appears to be a response to [http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=83 Christian Weston Chandler: 1982 - 2010]
{{quoteboxred|Do you really think he's that retarded? To perform a Repeated Act is fucktarded. Like we ALL know he is alive; I am watching him, his family and his house daily; it is POINTLESS and Redickulous to remake the Rumor of his death. We should Not Repeat performances, because he will be Expecting them and Knowing very well to ignore the Trite Fucktardedness.|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1062&highlight=#1062]</ref>}}

=== Hey, the Equipment and the Digging (Thu 26 Aug 2010 5:12 AM)===
In response to the same thread about digging up Patti:
{{quoteboxred|It's all no good; the neighborhood is Very Often Quiet. The noise will be heard by someone, if not the Damndler family; someone would call the [[Jerkops|Police]] on us for sure. Besides which, I was Haunted by the spirit of the dog AND the child Monday Night.

I went over to Chris's house with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' shittin' my pants here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and my mind. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[Abusive babysitter|abusive babysitter called "Roache"]] locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School]] holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence.

Next thing I knows, I am knocked back onto the cement block trail of the garden aisle, by the weight of a big dog, yet there was no dog. Wrists, Ankles and Neck still being hand-held, the child ghost leaves my mind, and then I hear a deep womanly voice, Growling at me as I smelled the stench of a dog's breath surrounding my nostrils. The voice says, "Do not mess with my master, my family or me, you infidel!" Next, I feel the sting of [[Patti|the dog]] biting into both of my ankles, one after the other. At that moment, I struggle back, leaving behind the lit flashlight I dropped earlier when my arms were being stretched out. And I limp as fast as I can back to my house, closing and locking the door behind me, gasping for breath and dripping with sweat. I limp to the bathroom with the shower and look in the mirror; what a gross mess I looked like. And I see a Big, Red Rash on the right side of my neck, and rashes on both of my wrists, from the hands that held them in place. And my pant legs were ripped, and he saw on both of my ankles rashes, and Teeth Marks of a Dog. I tried to scream again, but it was another silent scream. And I was unable to speak at all for Four Hours.

I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave. It is NOT worth it to have to suffer the Nightmare that can render you as damned silent as the [[Autistic]] child. And Patti is definitely not friendly to our dark kind.

[[List of Chris's lies|I tell you only the truth, my friends.]]|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

=== Dudes, you are not gonna believe this. (Sun 29 Aug 2010 1:22 PM)===
Another new thread, posted as a part of Chris's half-baked plot to get over nine thousand dollars for destroying his PS3:
{{quoteboxred|Even I could not believe it, but I was an Eye-Witness to Chris Smashing his own [[PSTriple]]. I had just gotten home from an outing with my family, when at about 4:00 on the afternoon of this Saturday the 28th, I saw Chris walk outside of his house with his Camera in one hand, a pair of workers gloves in his back pocket, and his PS3 in the other hand. I was curious, so I followed him to his backyard, where I watched from behind the gazebo. Thank God I was not seen by him. Yet Fuck Me for forgetting MY Camera.

Anyway, he had taken a busted Air Conditioner from his Junk Pile, placed his console onto it, placed the tripod to one side and detached the camera from it to get a close up of his fat face. I don't remember his shitty speech fully, but it was some stuff of finding peace within himself and was about to destroy the "vessel?" which held his "lonely, anguished self" from the past three years. Then he reattached the camera to the tripod, relocated it for a closer view, walked in front of it, put on the gloves, picked up the nearby brick and started WAILING on it. I was just all Shocked, I could barely move and believe my eyes. He was smashing the thing like asteroids at fucking Armageddon. He looked like he was not going to stop. But after a minute, he put down the brick, took off his gloves and turned the camera off. Also, he had removed the Removable cover with his decals on it; said he was keeping it as a momento or something. And he walked back to the house, carrying his camera and the pieces of his own Smashed PSTriple.

I would have posted sooner, but I was paralyzed with shock for hours; it was Horrifying to me. And later at about near 10:45 that night, I watched from the window of my room as he laid the smashed PS3 on his gravel driveway, and recorded Driving Over it with both of his Left Tires, about 4 or 5 times! My Shock continued more.

I finally recovered about a couple of hours ago, ate a Hungry Man Dinner; I could not eat at all since the first smashing. Then I remembered that I should really be posting this, so here I am.

OMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMG...|Chris<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1186&highlight=#1186]</ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/ Trollin Train]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Sonichu Fan Promo

2012-01-11T23:48:24Z

Galford: Reworded and added citation.

[[File:T1984.PNG|thumb|the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my 9th Book."]]

{{quote|[[Niggos|No darkies]], [[jerkop]]!|[[Sonichu]] as Chris can only ever dream of}}

The '''Sonichu Fan Promos''' are a series of three short fan-made 3D animations about [[Sonichu]], made by '''timmys1984''' (frequently [[CWC-isms|mislabelled]] as "timmy1984"). The videos were published on 11-14 [[October 2008]]. They are notable as one of the few [[True and Loyal fanbase|fan]] works [[Chris]] has praised, though as he explains in the [[Videobooks]]:

{{quote|In the featured in the uhh... in the episode 20 will be redone version of timmy1984's Sonichu fan promos, which I thought were pretty good but rewording could have been... used greatly. Cause he used the wrong words.|Chris, [[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]}}

In an earlier IRC chat<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]] at 20:24</ref> Chris's primary complaint was Sonichu's use of --among other lines-- "No [[Darkies]], [[Jerkop]]!", which he argued is something Sonichu would not say. The [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] cover, which was published long before the pages started to appear, proudly advertised that it features "...corrected version of timmys1984's 'Sonichu Fan Promos', presented on [[YouTube]]". It took Chris over a year to actually advance the plot far enough to reference to these promos. Unsurprisingly, what eventually resulted sucked.

With the exception of the corrected version of the third clip, the videos are no longer available, making Chris's drawn adaptations the only evidence that they existed at all.
==First video==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|_cErvFFYWdw}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:I9pg72.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 72.]]
[''Camera zooms in on a robed figure. The figure slowly turns to face the camera, revealing himself to be Sonichu'']

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Cuse-ye-ha-me-'''HAAAA''']]!!

[''On the final syllable, Sonichu casts off the robe, leaps into the air, and is supercharged with lightning from the sky. Once completed, he lands in a kneeling position and grins at the camera.'']

No [[Niggos|darkies]], [[jerkop]]!

[''Dashes off-camera. Fades to black, the words "[[Sonichu.net]]" appear in the center of the screen.'']

===Chris's version===

On 27 [[October 2009]], Chris finally got around to "correcting" the excellent and well-made fan promos by converting them into concentrated [[fail]]. Aside from the change from fluid CG animation to horribly drawn, barely sequential art, Chris replaced all of Sonichu's lines from the first fan Promo. The omission of "no darkies, jerkop!" was expected, as Chris had expressed displeasure with the line earlier. The curse-ye-ha-me-ha was removed also, presumably because only [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] uses the attack in canon. Chris also adds a few lame lines about Sonichu saving Rosechu, largely just to shoehorn his other ripoff into the story of the comic.

==Second video==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DUm5fVyDSkc}}</center>
{{quote|I'm a '''HEDGEHOG''', you [[pedofork|Pedo'''FORK''']]|Sonichu, attempting to stay clear of [[Nintendo]] copyright claims}}
===Transcription===
[[Image:I9pg78.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 78]]
[''The video begins with Sonichu racing down a dark city street, his body crackling with electricity. The camera overtakes him, and focuses on a giant robot, that stomps into the main road from a sidestreet. The sinister machine speaks mechanically.'']

'''Robot:''' Must destroy yellow mouse.

[''The robot then launches two missiles. The camera centers once again on Sonichu, who bravely rushes onward towards his massive mechanical opponent.'']

'''Sonichu:''' I'm a hedgehog, you [[pedofork]]!

[''Sonichu then effortlessly dodges the two missiles, and continues towards his wicked enemy. The screen fades to black, and the words "Sonichu.net" appear once again.'']

===Chris's version===
Almost a full month went by before Chris finally posted his version of the second promo on 15 [[November 2009]]. Compared to his earlier effort, this issue changed much less from the original video, making it more of a complete ripoff then an actual adaptation. Sonichu's mechanical foe was turned into one of Chris's [[Transformers|Decepticon]] knockoffs, and the robot apparently shot a bunch of bullets instead of the two missiles. Chris also changed "pedofork" to "bag of bolts".

==Third video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|mm41vzCySqE}}</center>
{{quote|Help me Sonichu! Help!|The [[Rosechu]] that sadly, never was}}

Note that there are actually two versions of this video; the original version is identical to this one, except that Sonichu's tail is missing. This was quickly corrected the same day to prevent an epic [[heart level]] shatter.
===Transcription===
[[Image:I9pg79.JPG|thumb|right|Issue 9 Page 79]]
[''Sonichu reaches the villainous automaton from the prior video, and quickly races up his steel body, stopping on its shoulders.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Oh! So you wanna play [[Kick the Autistic]], eh?

[''Sonichu focuses his incredible electrical powers into his hands, giving him the strength he needs to rip the machine's head out of its socket.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Ahhhh!

[''Satisfied with a job well done, Sonichu leaps skyward. The robot remains standing for a moment, before a massive explosion erupts from its damaged neck. Defeated, the robot's headless body crashes to the ground. Its head lands nearby a moment later.'']

'''Robot:''' [[Ghostbusters|OOOWWWWWW!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!]].

[''Sonichu, smiling gleefully at his victory, walks onscreen from the left'']

'''Sonichu:''' Heh heh! [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|That one's for you, Seth McFarland]]!

[''Suddenly Rosechu's voice is heard from far away. It sounds equal amounts desperate and helpless.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Help me Sonichu! Help!

[''The camera zooms in on Sonichu's face, which is now filled with concern, bordering on panic. He glances desperately back and forth, trying to determine where the sound came from. The screen fades to black for the final time. The words "Sonichu.Net" appear once again, only this time a note appears underneath the familiar address, saying "NOT [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu.110mb.com]]" A second note in the bottom right warns us further with "do NOT go here".'']

===Chris's version===
Aside from the obvious drop in quality, the actions Sonichu takes in this comic are largely unchanged from the ones he made in the video. Chris changes the line "kick the autistic" to "kick the quick", possibly his way of indicating that Sonichu is not [[autistic]]. "That one's for you, Seth McFarland!" is changed to Sonichu wondering if Seth McFarlane really did use Chris's joke in the beginning of the ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]". Instead of Sonichu being helpless and confused after hearing Rosechu at the end, he somehow magically knows exactly where she is and runs off after her, reinforcing his status as a Mary Sue and [[Chris and writing|draining the segment of any tension or drama]].

Chris then asks timmys1984 to change the lines in his videos to match the ones in the comic, under the impression that his incredibly bad writing would somehow improve the videos. He is, of course, wrong.
==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

Sonichu (character)

2012-01-11T18:44:23Z

Galford: Added citation.

::''This page is about the character. For the comic, see [[Sonichu (comic)]]. For other uses, see [[Sonichu (disambiguation)]]''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new [[pokemon]]. And my name is… Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}

{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 17 March [[Sonichu chronology#1988|1988]] (in universe)
17 March [[2000]] (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] or [[Pikachu]]
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]
|-
|}
'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March 1988<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is an uncreative combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], and is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and ''"zaps to the extreme!"''

Sonichu's species, [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], evolves from a [[Sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu mutated from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more pointless and convoluted.)

==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon [[cards]]<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class with Ms. Chalifoux. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being ridiculously simple, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] during Basketball Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program. 

After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D|Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokemon cards and other various and sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The comic was completed and released in [[2005]], five years after Sonichu's conception (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out...).

Sonichu's character design has slightly changed since Chris scrawled the first poorly drawn Sonichu. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), ''Sonichu'' took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for over a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the [[Chris and art|drawing skills of a six-year-old]].

==Fictional character biography==

{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2}}

What would later become known as "Sonichu" hatched as a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] on 17 March 1988,<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /> which interestingly enough is also the exact birth date of Chris's cherished dog [[Patti]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti Eulogy for Patti] on the CWCipedia</ref> It would eventually evolve into a [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]] on 26 February 1994.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a [[Jiggliami|Jigglypuff]] once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]

One day the city of [[Station Square]] was under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]], and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] attempted to battle the creature. While using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of [[Pokémon]]: Sonichu.

After his transformation, he ran back to his parents' nest, where he found that they had been caught by Pokémon trainers. Showing the same [[Chris and death|callousness]] his creator shows after a loss, Sonichu does not seem to have attempted to find them, never mentioned them again, and even refers to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as his father.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu</ref>

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]] and thus stalked Rosechu back to her and Kel's cabin, whereupon he introduced himself to them. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. [[CWCville]]'s Mayor, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].

One day, while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which reveals that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretells of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], which transformed him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokemon created by the same effect that created himself and Rosechu. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

One day, Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall when Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]] into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.

One day, after having hours of sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent_garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis -- pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent_garbage.com building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing.

When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from [[Chris and anger|raging]] at [[homos]] and [[Women's rights|objectifying his wife]] in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger).

After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as [[Ultra Sonichu]] with some godlike powers of his own. After [[Collosal Chan]]'s crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"[sic]/witness in the mock trial of the [[Asperpedia]] Four, and after the predetermined verdict, took part in Evan's brutal execution.

Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing and chillin'. He enjoys outdoors activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a ''Sonichu'' cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>[[Mumble 6#Chris is Stressed.2C Moving On|Mumble 6]]</ref>
He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at [[14 Branchland Court|14 Brunchville Lane]], CWCville, [[Chris's_homes|Virginia]], [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]]. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Christ almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]

Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]], or the not-so-retarded [[Bob|hero]] of the Chandler household), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked him between loyalty to [[Reldnahc]] and make him into the Mayor of CWCville, or let Rosechu to live, obviously, he chose Christian instead of Rosechu without hesitation.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg</ref> Like father, like son.

==Sexual prowess==
When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches (18 cm) long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P2.jpg</ref> Chris has also given very intense details to Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology</ref>
 

Sonichu's luck with the ladies apparently predates his transformation into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, as his [[CWCipedia]] biography notes that when he was still a Pikachu he made out with a Jigglypuff.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /> This raises some very disturbing implications, as the CWCipedia article also gives 1988 as the year of his birth and 1998 as the year in which he became Sonichu, meaning he could have not been [[Pedofork|older than 10 years]] at the time of said liaison.

==Powers and abilities==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed and body-spinning powers transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. Some of his special attacks include:

* '''Sky Uppercut''': Jumping punch to the head from below, presumably similar in fashion to the [[Wikipedia:Shoryuken|''Shoryuken'']] from the ''Street Fighter'' games.
* '''Mega Kick''': A martial arts-style kick, sometimes done in midair.
* '''Double Team''': The attacker quickly creates an illusion that there are multiple attackers, disguising the real one temporarily and allowing them an opportunity to attack whilst the target is confused.
* '''Spin Dash''': Attacker curls into a ball and spins on the spot, before releasing and hurtling directly into the victim in a high-speed rolling attack. In the original games where this move came from, it was capable of breaking barriers, but this has yet to be seen in the comics.
* '''Zap Cannonball''': Attacker creates a ball of pure electrical energy in their hands, before thrusting their palms forward to fire it at the victim, in a similar fashion to the [[Wikipedia:Hadouken|''Hadouken'']] from the ''Street Fighter'' games, or the [http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Thunder_Bolt|''Thunder Strike''] from ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man 7|Mega Man 7]]''.
* '''Iron Tail''': Attacker swings his tail at the victim to hit them in a slapping attack.
* '''Mud Slap''': Attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes to lower their accuracy.
* '''Thunderbolt''': Attacker charges up electrical power in body, before releasing it at the victim in the form of a long-ranged bolt of electricity.
* '''Thunder''': Attacker charges up electrical power, and uses it to summon lighting bolts down to the victim whilst simultaneously firing off electricity for a powerful lightning attack.

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 km/h (124 mph), much slower than Sonic, who can apparently hit Mach 1 (1,225 km/h / 761 mph) unassisted (so far, the best Sega has been able to show in-game is around 300 mph (483 km/h) in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|''Sonic Unleashed'']]). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 rpm, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze. (However, in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2 Chris claimed that Sonichu can go faster than the speed of sound.)

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|Sonichu is as straight as Chris.]]

One of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris, aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, is that Sonichu is a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is fast, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Sonic VS Sonichu- the battle nobody wanted to see explodes onto your computer screens!
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|In [[Flipnote Hatena]]
</gallery>
</center>
==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambiguation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]
== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Simonla Rosechu

2012-01-11T17:44:41Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quote|About on or before August 26, [[2008]], I had received an e-mail from [[Evan George]], who went by evang7@gmail.com as well as themaskedavenger@gmail.com, submitting his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Fan Art]] to me. The then later submitted his idea for "Simonchu"; it did not strike me as good at first. But for a few months, I had wanted to create a Ground-Type [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] Character; I felt that I had ENOUGH Sonichu Characters, so '''from "Simonchu"''', I created Simonla Rosechu (playing off of the name of Simone).|Chris, 9 [[September 2009]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu&oldid=5231]</ref>}}

{{Quote|I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time. Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever. Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.|Chris, 2 [[February 2010]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu]</ref>}}

[[Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's "original" design of Simonla.]]
[[Image:Simonlaweed.jpg|thumb|This picture is what sums up Simonla's character; [[Rosechu|Empty, soul-less and craving for a shit-load of Pickles.]]]]

Once upon a time, '''Simonla Rosechu''' (pronounced [sɪˈmoːnlə]) was an orange [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] with the intelligence of a "cinder-block"<ref>per the words of [[Sandy|her clone]]</ref> who could turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also had a drill at the end of her tail. Then her guts were shredded by a tragic toilet explosion.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by [[Evan]] named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to. Her bizarre name is probably meant to suggest "Simon the Rosechu", ''la'' being the [[Spanish]] word for "the"; cf. [[Megagi La Skunk]].

==Background==
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by [[Wikipedia:Beedrill|Beedrill]], though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from [[Wikipedia:Simon (Gurren Lagann)|Simon]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Gurren Lagann]]''. Interestingly, in his [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as ''Sie-Mon-Chu'' and not ''See-moan-chu'', meaning that:

*Chris has never seen ''Gurren Lagann'' before, much to the relief of many fans and
*Simonla's pronunciation would be ''Sie-mon-la''.

This is reinforced by other inconsistencies with the character, including mistaking Simonchu's cape for a shell on Simonla and that the Core Drill was a shark's tooth necklace.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. She only mentions being raised by Sandshrews in response to Evan's explanation of her origin.

[[Evan]] eventually presents his own version of events in it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately, [[Mitch Sonichu|just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]]. One should disregard Chris's claim that she was raised by a pair of [[Wikipedia:Sandslash|Sandslash]], as this violates the same "brother/sister agreement" Chris desired so much due to Simonchu's Beedrill parentage.

==Simonla the [[pedofork]]==
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside CWCville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage.

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a [[Pikachu]], raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when [[Perfect Chaos]] attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...
...

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].</div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, claiming that he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!" He also added red "secondary infrared eyelids" (commonly mistaken for eye infection) due to a similar mix-up with Simonchu's goggles.

Chris claimed on Simonla's [[CWCipedia]] page that in Episode 20 he will introduce [[Simonchu]] as a Ground- (and only Ground-) type. This never happened. Only in the next episode was Simonchu given a minor cameo (and then never fully identified) as Simonla's assassin.

[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

===Forced romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with [[Wild]] as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]] at 02:21</ref>, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

Chris elaborated on their forced romance to [[Julie]] in [[Mumble 3#00:14:12 Bob and Snorlax|Mumble 3]], saying that he thought their romance seemed unlikely because they were so different. While it would be reasonable to assume he was referring to different cultural backgrounds or beliefs, he went on to clarify that he was talking about the fact that Simonla was a Ground-type and Wild was a Grass-type, two things he apparently believed had nothing in common.

===Evan's response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.

Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that asking him to kill a fictional character devoid of any personality was monstrous.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. While Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persisted with his refusal, maintaining that killing Wild's girlfriend was evil.

The back-and-forth continued in [[Mailbag 43]], where Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomaniacal statements yet. He stated that Simonla "didn't want" to leave [[CWCville]], and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris's Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have theoretically come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

In [[Mailbag 52]], Evan shot back that ''"The Simonchu in your Haiti image was a caught-in-the-wild one anyway, I don't get why you even bothered including it. He can't even speak Human."'' The concept of two intrusive Great Directors making contradictory canon statements in a single universe was too baffling for Chris to comprehend.
===Chris denies reality===
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|Evan's response.]]
After all this back-and-forth in the [[Mailbag]] over what to do with Simonla, on 2 February 2010<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref> Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the [[CWCipedia]]:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.</div>

This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.

Using those advertisements as a wedge, the Asperpedia creators hoped to eventually force Chris to do away with Simonla. As chronicled in [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|Alec Benson Leary's phone calls with Chris]], this proved to be an uphill battle, largely because Chris still holds to a child-like belief that Simonla is, in some sense, [[Chris and Reality|real]], and that killing her in the comic has actual consequences. Over the course of late January and into early February 2010, Chris continued to insist that Simonla had to remain a part of his comic.

Chris relented somewhat as the ads on the CWCipedia grew more and more offensive. On [[I am Alive|6 February 2010]], he posted a video where he conceded defeat of a kind, promising to kill Simonla and remove her entry in the CWCipedia at some time in the indefinite future. This wasn't good enough for Evan, who exerted legal pressure to have the CWCipedia locked to edits.

On 8 February 2010, in his [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|final phone conversation with Alec]], Chris claimed that he had given in, drawn the pages of Simonla's death, and had them ready for uploading. However, either he never bothered to follow through on that promise or he simply never got the chance. Early on 9 February 2010, all the CWCipedia's content was deleted from its server space.

==Death==
[[Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg|thumb|How it happened.]]
On 9 February 2010, responding to the deletion of the CWCipedia, Chris admitted that his promise to get rid of Simonla was made under duress:

{{Quote|And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan...|Chris, [[9_February_2010|9 February 2010]]}}

Belatedly, however, he made good. On 13 February 2010, Evan released two pages he received from Chris, where Chris makes a rote apology (dwelling for some strange reason on the topic of hamster rape) and Simonla dies. In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed ''by a toilet bomb in the ladies' bathroom'' during a date at the movies with Wild. After being treated by [[Bill the Scientist]], who has apparently quit working for Team Rocket in favor of emergency medicine, Simonla passes on. Wild mourns for exactly ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan deus-ex-machinas where her killers are and he takes off on a mission of revenge. Simonla is injured offscreen and dies offscreen, exactly the opposite of what [[Alec]] [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|requested]].

In what may or may not be a coincidence, Simonla succumbs to "her internal injury," the same fate that felled a number of Chris's [[Officer Nasty]] dolls.

Some days later, Chris released a revised version of Simonla's death, in which the drama takes place over several pages and the previously vague identities of the "murderer and his crew", was, through a couple of edits, established as being Alec and the Asperpedia crew. Furthermore; Simonla is revealed to have shat out an egg, which is in the care of [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] when Simonla goes asplodey. A time jump occurs and the egg hatches into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] culminates in the father-daughter team of Wild and Sandy cooperating to execute [[Evan]] in spectacular and gory fashion, thereby going against Chris's long-held assertion that [[Chris and Hypocrisy|he would never stoop to Alec's level and include gratuitous gore in his comic]].<ref>[[Twitter]]</ref>

It's highly noted that the explosive toilet was ripped from the 1989 film, ''[[Wikipedia:Lethal Weapon 2|Lethal Weapon 2]]'', where Mel Gibson's character pulled Danny Glover's character from a toilet that had a bomb attached, just like in the comic. Only instead of killing anyone, the toilet exploded and hits a car. It seems a bit uncharacteristic for Chris to steal from an "R" rated action film, but it should be noted that Chris has a [[Captain's Log|strange habit]] of ripping off stuff he hasn't watched before, so he probably just knows of the infamous scene itself and not the source material.

==Fan videos==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|k29RYayednI}}</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic9P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:Email from chris.png|Chris gives Evan his page(s)...
Image:SchuComic11P80.jpg|and starts with a wall of [[Lies|text]]
Image:SchuComic11P81.jpg|Chris kills off Simonla by having a toilet bomb blow up her [[china]].
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg|Alec Benson Leary offers his own take on Simonla's demise.
Image:WildCADbortion1.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion3.jpg
File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|Even while seeking "Help for Haiti", Chris can't help claiming that Simonla is not Simonchu and that both characters are his.<ref>[[:File:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg]]</ref>
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>
==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Evan]]
==External links==
*[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/ The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Adventures of Simonchu and Niachu]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]][[Category:Dead]][[Category:Rosechus]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Rejected Mailbag

2012-01-11T16:29:23Z

Galford: Added citation.

The '''Rejected [[Mailbag]]''' is where emails to the [[CWCipedia]] [[Chris]] considers offensive went to [[Death threats|die]]. It is unclear why Chris keeps them—it is assumed he would just take every slanderous email and blast it to [[The Moon]]—but given that everything Chris does in public is centered around his need for constant pity and sympathy, it is possible he keeps them around to show his [[fanbase]] what he has to put up with in his inbox every day.

For a long time, Chris was surprisingly diligent about making sure all the emails he did not like were appropriately recorded. That all changed on 13 [[December 2009]], in which Chris began attempting to delete emails from the record entirely.

==Rise of the Sub-Mailbags==

One place to dump mail that offended Chris wasn't nearly enough; he needed more.

=== Autism Mailbag ===
A new, cuddlier spin-off of the Rejected Mailbag was launched on 2 [[December 2009]], to dismiss [[autism]]-related e-mails "because the topic is not in canon with the [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] topics." <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Autism_Mailbag Autism Mailbag]</ref>, it is where Chris will respond to the informed messages of myriad doctors, psychologists and the like who contact him to enlighten him regarding his opinions on "slapdash so-called counterpart [[Aspergers]]."

Chris's completely irrational hatred of Asperger's Syndrome and his explosive responses to letters on the topic entertained the trolls a great deal. It is now unusual for a Mailbag to have fewer than 4 letters about the disorders in question.

===Let Me Get Back To You On That===

'''L'''et me '''G'''et '''B'''ack to you on '''T'''hat, or "[[homos|LGBT]]" for short, was the next dumping grounds for rejected letters. It was created on 9 December 2009, and appears to be a place for letters that cause Chris too much [[stress]], but have such undeniably good points that even Chris can't ignore them. The title implies that he intends to get to give them full answers when he's not crashing into slumber. Eventually, Chris's Sysop disposed of the section, moving all the letters into [[Mailbag 29]]. The answers Chris gave to this section were minimal. Chris ignored every e-mail that didn't slather praise on him, and responded to those with any sense of negativity harshly or not at all (i.e. "Whatever").

===Parodies===
Originally a page set up by Chris's Sysop to list all the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] [[Parody|parodies]], Chris started moving mail about parodies of Sonichu here on 13 December 2009. Then, on 15 December, he proved he wasn't above [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|revisionist history]], and moved a letter from over a week ago to the parody mailbag.<ref>The letter in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_10&oldid=4005 Mailbag 10 as seen on 5 December 2009] is later [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_10&diff=4014&oldid=4013 cut] and [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Parodies&diff=4179&oldid=4178 pasted] to {{CWCipedia link|Parodies}} on 15 [[December 2009]]</ref>

== Begging and pleading ==

{{Quote|Please No Longer Include any messages addressing '''Autisim'''''[sic]'' '''or Aspergers''', or any that has even an inkling of '''homosexuality''' in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really [[Family Guy|Grind My Gears]].|Chris, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)|begging his sysop to make it stop]].}}

In correspondence with his Sysop in early December 2009, Chris made it very clear that all the letters about homosexuality and autism were causing too much stress, and that he would like to begin pretending that the only people who write him are the ones that draw him little pictures and kiss his ass. Chris's sysop did not respond to his begging, and continued to let e-mails Chris would obviously deem offensive flow into every new mailbag.

== Gone forever ==

The first instance of Chris rejecting e-mails without recording them anywhere was in [[Mailbag 2]], which had two letters removed. Neither of them were terribly offensive, and it's likely Chris merely forgot to reply. [[Mailbag 17]] was the first instance of Chris intentionally refusing to record a letter, in this case an automatic e-mail, informing him that he had signed up for a [[Homos|homo]] newsletter. The idea that Chris merely forgot to move this letter is out of the question, as he also moved three other letters to the Rejected Mailbag in the same evening. Still, the letter was merely a form letter from something a [[troll]] signed him up for, so arguably it's not a very big deal.

[[Mailbag 34]] on the other hand should be granted no such lenience. Chris intentionally deleted two letters from this mailbag, one from the creator of [[Asperchu]], who wished to inform Chris that his new website, the [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], was up and running, and one from a group of concerned mothers, who wished to boycott ''Sonichu''. What makes his actions here particularly reprehensible is the fact that both of the deleted e-mails contained links to the relevant sites, implying that Chris deleted these letters simply to keep his TRUE and HONEST [[fanbase]] from seeing those webpages.

Regardless, it wouldn't matter if Chris didn't keep copies of any rejected e-mails. The [[Wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] software his site ran on saved every change made to page history, meaning that every foolish or selfish move he made was recorded for all eternity.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris E-Mails]]
*[[Mailbag#Censorship|Censorship]]

{{Mailbag}}

Obesity

2012-01-11T14:23:09Z

Galford: Reworded and added citation.

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|Look at his "slender" figure.]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on [[October 2011|October 2nd]], Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on [http://www.manboobs.co.uk/submissions/manboob_of_the_month manboobs.co.uk].

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
[[File:Futurechan.PNG|240px|left]]
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." But in [[February 2010]], he admitted that he once weighed even more than 220 pounds.<ref>[[Mailbag 54]]</ref>

In [[WeighIn|WeighIn video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref> In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],<ref>[[Masturbating_and_squirtin%27#Transcript of Chrisreply1evan.jpg|1st email to Evan]]</ref> during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|''Sonichu'' #7]] - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"</ref>

==I mean, just ''look'' at him.==
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|left]]
In [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], Chris is seen wearing a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. [[Bunny Hop|When he moves up and down]] the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. [[I AM STRONG|When he flexes—''if'' he flexes—there's no way to tell.]]
{{-}}

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[Muscle bra|Manboobs]]

===Restaurants===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Talk:Sex toys

2012-01-10T21:32:54Z

Galford: /* Vibrator and dildo one and the same? */ new section

==To do==
*Catalog Chris's sex toys we know he has
*His comments on sex toys with his chats with Panda
*Controversy over his vibrator and him stomping it
*add comments he's made to Julie about his sex toys including how his anal beads were "covered in poo." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:49, 19 February 2009 (CET)

== Wishlist ==

*Flavored lube? A dildo harness? Spicy Dice? Some of these items obviously represent wishful thinking. Like, maybe if he buys them he'll actually find someone to use them with. What about those sex toy making kits....was he going to offer to exchange "clones" with an internet girlfriend or something? [[User:Walter|Walter]] 11:44, 7 June 2009 (CEST)
:*Yeah, wishful thinking. I'm guessing the theory is that he wants to be stocked up should he ever get lucky. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 9 July 2009 (CEST)
*A totally unrelated sidenote, but I don't think chris ever bought the cleaning kit/fluid/whatever for his sex dolls/toys, or (at least) it's never listed on any of the email invoices, if I remember correctly. Is anybody able to confirm/deny this for me? --[[User:Staypuft|Staypuft]] 01:47, 9 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Sex toys usually can be washed with just regular soap and water. They usually throw in some corn starch used to keep its "realistic feel." I think they do sell "cleaning kits" but I'd imagine that's more of a cash grab. Not that I personally know or anything... --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 9 July 2009 (CEST)

==Fake boobs==
Someone on PVCC suggested that these are in fact a sort of novelty pillow and not exactly a sex toy (my guess is that he got them at Spencers as they tend to sell that sort of shit). Do you all think they should still be mentioned in this article? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:56, 19 October 2009 (CEST)
* I'm on the fence as to what exactly they are, but I'd say pillow if pressed; they're probably something like those Japanse boob-handrest mouspads. (Oh Japan, where would we get our wackiness without you?) - [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 05:58, 22 October 2009 (CEST)
** [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]] I think the boobs appear in the lower left hand corner, covered by black cloth or a bra. -- [[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:59, 4 November 2009 (CET)
*** <s>The fake boobs are definitely just plush, I saw them at Spencer's and grabbed them to check (yes, I did get strange looks from all around; walking in CWC's shoes?). Technically not a sex toy, but you know he's used them... --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 06:59, 30 May 2010 (UTC)</s>
*** Just noticed it's cleared up on the main article, disregard, cocks, etc.

== The List ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?mdymmjmttny
from pvcc courtesy [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:24, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

== Vibrator and dildo one and the same? ==

In Chris's [[Sex_toys#List_of_known_sex_toys|list of known sex toys]] there are both a vibrator and a dildo. We know the vibrator exists (or at least existed) because there is footage of it in [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|video]]. The citation for the existence of the dildo, however, is taken from [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|this chatlog]]. In it Chris claims: "''I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole''".

I don't think that this dildo really exists, but merely that Chris calls his vibrator a dildo. This becomes evident in [[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength|this chatlog]]. In it Chris claims: "''I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... dildo in half''" in reference to the destruction of his '''vibrator'''. In the same chatlog Chris claims to have no other phallic sex toy: "''I only had that one. And there you go, I ri- there you go, I broke it apart''", which may be a lie, but is consistent with my theory.

I would recommend to add a concrete reference for the existence of the dildo (which I may have missed, I'm sorry) or to take the dildo out of the listing if its existence is based only on Chris's chatlogs. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 13:32, 10 January 2012 (PST)

List of things Chris has shoved up his ass

2012-01-10T18:43:59Z

Galford: Added citations.

{{Honest}}

{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}

'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, even STRAIGHT adults, have done this, and it isn't necessarily a weird thing, but in Chris's case it's particularly funny because he happens to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage]]. For a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.

Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>, later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>)
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work)<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a [[Julie Reveals Herself|13 year-old told him to]])
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told Vanessa that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose." ) <ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>

==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her.")<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo (as long as it's NOT dick-shaped because that would be gay)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/>

==Sources==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Heart level

2012-01-10T17:03:33Z

Galford: Added citation.

[[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|thumb|right|This happens all the time.]]

{{quote|100% Change the number to change your heart level and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.|[[CWCipedia]] template, describing how Chris felt in [[August 2009]].}}

{{quote|Actually, it is Moderate and Stable at the moment.|Chris, 17 [[May 2010]]}}

'''Heart level''' is Chris's measure of his emotional state. Because Chris has spent his life playing [[video games]] instead of socializing with actual people, he is only able to express his emotions in video game-inspired terms. It first appeared in [[Sonichu 1|Sub-Episode #2: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]] (where it hit its lowest recorded level, 15%) but he uses the term in general conversation as well.

Chris uses the word "shattered" [[Chris and English#Repetition|exclusively]] to describe his perpetually wounded heart level. He has never even used the more common expression, "broken heart".

Heart level was also helpfully displayed on [[CWCipedia]] front page, as a diabolical variation of [[wikipedia:Template_talk:Wstress3d|Wikipedia's stress meters]]. Well...it ''would'' have been a diabolical variation, but apparently Chris was too lazy to change it, making it merely slightly lame. Despite leaving an obvious default placeholder message on the front page, he still felt comfortable showing this fantastic website to potential investors/employers.<ref>[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]</ref>

==References by Chris==
[[Image:heartlevel0.png|thumb|left|Artist's depiction of a critically low heart level.]]
*In [[August 2004]], Chris drew his shattered heart as a trap card for his home made ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, as seen above. It would later reside with the others on the [[Wall of Originals]].
*[[CWC's Diary]] includes similar remarks on the Walsh encounter: "I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me!"
*[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]], finished in April [[2005]], features the illustrated heart level as part of Chris's tale of his ill-fated date with [[Hanna]].
*''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' includes a couple of complaints about heart-shattering in relation to the Walsh and Hanna incidents.
*The August [[2006]] updates to Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]] talk about the fluctuating level of Chris's shattered heart in the section covering the Hanna date. The same document also has a memorable remark on Mary Lee Walsh's destruction of the [[Attraction Sign]]: "IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL!"
*A 2007 [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|e-mail to Megan]] surely didn't creep her out in the slightest: "If I lost you...it would TOTALLY SHATTER my heart, my soul, my being."
*In a [[Facebook messages|Facebook message]] from January [[2008]], Chris bills himself as "Christian W. Chandler, a lonely Autistic, heart-shattered sap."
*Another Facebook message of January 2008 says "My heart is recovering very slowly; it's at like 15% [...] The lonliness hurts the remaining 85% of my heart sadly."
*On his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]], in its account of his feud with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris complains that "MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment."
*[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]], a curious video from the midst of the [[Liquid Chris]] fiasco, includes an apology to Mary Lee Walsh. Among other things, Chris says, "I forgive you for your misdeed of Heart-Shattering."
*Despite this, in his 2010 posts on the [[Sonichu_Forum#Chris_is_literally_a_filthy_liar|Sonichu Forum]], Chris was hung up on Walsh's shattering of his heart.
*After the CWCipedia was vandalized by [[trolls]] in [[May 2010]], Chris added the above quote to the heart level template on the front page while reverting troll vandalism.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Heartzero.jpg|0%
Image:Heart15.jpg|15%
Image:Heart20.jpg|20%
Image:Heart100.jpg|100%
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Scale of Respect]]
*[[Third date]]
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Hanna]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Heart level

2012-01-10T17:00:50Z

Galford: Corrected date of quote.

[[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|thumb|right|This happens all the time.]]

{{quote|100% Change the number to change your heart level and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.|[[CWCipedia]] template, describing how Chris felt in [[August 2009]].}}

{{quote|Actually, it is Moderate and Stable at the moment.|Chris, 17 [[May 2010]]}}

'''Heart level''' is Chris's measure of his emotional state. Because Chris has spent his life playing [[video games]] instead of socializing with actual people, he is only able to express his emotions in video game-inspired terms. It first appeared in [[Sonichu 1|Sub-Episode #2: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]] (where it hit its lowest recorded level, 15%) but he uses the term in general conversation as well.

Chris uses the word "shattered" [[Chris and English#Repetition|exclusively]] to describe his perpetually wounded heart level. He has never even used the more common expression, "broken heart".

Heart level was also helpfully displayed on [[CWCipedia]] front page, as a diabolical variation of [[wikipedia:Template_talk:Wstress3d|Wikipedia's stress meters]]. Well...it ''would'' have been a diabolical variation, but apparently Chris was too lazy to change it, making it merely slightly lame. Despite leaving an obvious default placeholder message on the front page, he still felt comfortable showing this fantastic website to potential investors/employers.{{cite}}

==References by Chris==
[[Image:heartlevel0.png|thumb|left|Artist's depiction of a critically low heart level.]]
*In [[August 2004]], Chris drew his shattered heart as a trap card for his home made ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, as seen above. It would later reside with the others on the [[Wall of Originals]].
*[[CWC's Diary]] includes similar remarks on the Walsh encounter: "I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me!"
*[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]], finished in April [[2005]], features the illustrated heart level as part of Chris's tale of his ill-fated date with [[Hanna]].
*''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' includes a couple of complaints about heart-shattering in relation to the Walsh and Hanna incidents.
*The August [[2006]] updates to Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]] talk about the fluctuating level of Chris's shattered heart in the section covering the Hanna date. The same document also has a memorable remark on Mary Lee Walsh's destruction of the [[Attraction Sign]]: "IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL!"
*A 2007 [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|e-mail to Megan]] surely didn't creep her out in the slightest: "If I lost you...it would TOTALLY SHATTER my heart, my soul, my being."
*In a [[Facebook messages|Facebook message]] from January [[2008]], Chris bills himself as "Christian W. Chandler, a lonely Autistic, heart-shattered sap."
*Another Facebook message of January 2008 says "My heart is recovering very slowly; it's at like 15% [...] The lonliness hurts the remaining 85% of my heart sadly."
*On his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]], in its account of his feud with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris complains that "MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment."
*[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]], a curious video from the midst of the [[Liquid Chris]] fiasco, includes an apology to Mary Lee Walsh. Among other things, Chris says, "I forgive you for your misdeed of Heart-Shattering."
*Despite this, in his 2010 posts on the [[Sonichu_Forum#Chris_is_literally_a_filthy_liar|Sonichu Forum]], Chris was hung up on Walsh's shattering of his heart.
*After the CWCipedia was vandalized by [[trolls]] in [[May 2010]], Chris added the above quote to the heart level template on the front page while reverting troll vandalism.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Heartzero.jpg|0%
Image:Heart15.jpg|15%
Image:Heart20.jpg|20%
Image:Heart100.jpg|100%
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Scale of Respect]]
*[[Third date]]
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Hanna]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Wild Sonichu

2012-01-10T06:27:37Z

Galford: Corrected lenght and added citation.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Wild.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Wild Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| ??? (in universe)
21 February 2006 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Wild_Sonichu|Wild Sonichu on CWCipedia}}.</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Scyther and Venusaur
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Grass
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Leaf Stone)
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Wild.jpg|thumb|Wild in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Wild Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] and supposed leader of the [[Chaotic Combo]] (though this position is usually assumed by Chris in any of his [[Sonichu (character)|Mary]] [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Sue]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|incarnations]]) that formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. Like most of Chris's creations, he has absolutely no personality.

He is a Grass/Electric type, and a combination of several characters:
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Wikipedia:Treecko|Treecko]] (tail)
*[[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] (swings from vines that retract from his arms and sticks to walls)
*[[Wikipedia:Espio the Chameleon|Espio the Chameleon]] (turns invisible, sticks to walls; both are on teams whose names are derivative of the word "chaos")

==Major Comic Appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===
After being hatched, Wild is adopted by a [[Scyther]] and a [[Venusaur]]. Growing up in his [[Sonee]] form, he learns to use Vine Whip and Razor Leaf attacks like other Grass-type [[Pokémon]]. Somehow, his adopted father manages to teach him valuable skills by repeating the same thing over and over. He eventually evolves into a green likeness of [[Sonichu]] with a "leafy tail" that looks like a beaver tail. Said tail is claimed to be usable as a propeller, but this has yet to be used. Probably the least enigmatic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], which is quite a feat.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

While swinging from vines, he is hit by [[Blake]] who is trying to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] on a hover board. He then teams up with the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] for the first time and they team up to defeat Blake.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Wild and the other Chaotic Combo are teleported to help fight [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. They are unable to save [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from being trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]]. Luckily, they all have serious [[Autism|ADHD]] and forget about that, along with [[Chris|everyone else]]. This frees up time for more relationship drama and horrible sex.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

Wild acts like a jealous faggot when [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] talk about how cool [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is. He says he would get all the girls if he wasn’t kicked off the team for illegal vinal defense. This implies Wild is both a cheating liar and too retarded to understand basketball.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|Rage Against the Garbage]]===

Wild, [[Sonichu]], and [[Rosechu]] are teleported to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building to find a [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]] and confront the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Before entering the building, Wild cries about how his "father" [[Scyther]] was captured by poachers, acting emo for sympathy. Interestingly enough, Wild never bothered to look for his "father" after he saw the "passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes". Wild proceeds to immediately switch topics, turn invisible and [[Metal Gear Solid|sneak]] into the world's least secure building. He eventually recovers one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], despite Rosechu and Sonichu failing in the most batshit way possible.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_Prologue|Episode 18 Prologue]]===

Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthday on 2 February 2008. This is a lame-ass attempt to make [[Chris]] look like less of a [[pedofork]]. Almost nothing goes on, making this episode a very poor facade.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Wild informs [[Punchy]] that his taste in women, namely [[Angelica]], sucks balls. Somehow Punchy is not offended, merely puzzled, and proceeds to plan out his [[Chris and sex|rape]]. Other than setting up a very flimsy premise for [[Sonichu 9]], Wild has no purpose in this comic, retarding him further as a character.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]===

In the Dating Ed episode thus far, Wild attends the class alongside Punchy, making it apparent that nearly every main character is a desperate loser. Wild, after the first class is paired with [[Simonla]] by their teacher.

Of course, mere moments after meeting face to face, the two are hopelessly in love - Chris rips off Spider-Man by having Wild swing through the city with Simonla in his arms, in an attempt to simulate an actual romantic moment. After this one outing, Wild takes her home to his "vibrating bed" (srsly) then Simonla shows the blueprints of her own place. Why you'd show anyone the blueprints of your house is a mystery.

The fact that Wild seems to find Simonla attractive is proof enough that he is [[gay]], as Simonla has got to be the least effeminate character in the entire comic, surpassing even [[Megagi]]'s dykeness. However, Chris will never admit that his characters are as gay as he is.

===[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities]]===

[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|Wild Sonichu: Father of the Year.]]

After helping free Chris from the [[Time Void]], Wild mostly takes a low-key role in the issue's lone episode until the waning pages of episode 21. Shortly after it is revealed that Wild and Simonla have congealed an egg together, Simonla is killed by a Voltorb planted in the ladies' room by [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]]. Shortly after the announcement of Simonla's death, the egg hatches. Wild names his new daughter Sandy and raises her as a single father, ''Kramer vs. Kramer''-style (Simonla will be portrayed in the film version by Meryl Streep). The comic ends with a jury consisting of the now-grown Sandy and Wild sentencing Simonla's murderers to death. The father and daughter then personally cooperate to execute [[Evan]] in the bloodiest manner possible.

==Trivia==

*In a [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|video]] uploaded 13 [[September 2009]], Chris reveals that Wild Sonichu's adoptive Scyther father was in fact kidnapped "a long time ago". Chris goes on to reveal that Wild has to go and find him during the events of ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.
*Fans like to reimagine Wild as [[Metal Gear Solid|Sonic Snake]], likely due to the events of Episode 17. This version of Wild is the only one that doesn't suck.
*Chris told [[Jackie]] a proposed backstory for Wild: ''"Wild Sonichu's story is of after he loses his father to some [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] poachers (possibly of [[Team Rocket]] and [[Giovanni]]), and years later, he hears the call of his father from afar, and he sets forward to find and rescue him. The ending being he finds his Scyther father evolved to a [[Wikipedia:List_of_Pokémon_(202–251)#Scizor|Scizor]], and it draws into a plot similar to that in [[Star Wars]] between [[Chris|Luke]] and [[Bob|Vader]]."''<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails]]</ref>

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:257-ACWild.jpg
Image:258-ACWildBck.jpg
Image:259-WildCard.jpg
Image:260-YuWild.jpg
Image:261-Wild.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

{{CWCipedia|chris=Wild Sonichu}}

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Punchy Sonichu

2012-01-10T06:14:57Z

Galford: Added citation.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Punchy.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Punchy Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| ??? (in universe)
21 February 2006 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Master Nabe (adoptive father)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Ground
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Hard Stone)
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]
'''Punchy Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|sonichu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] knockoff, right down to the crescent-shaped birthmark on his chest and the spikes on his fists, which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of 4 characters:

*[[Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonchan]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the almost complete lack of originality (more or less simply a headswap of Knuckles) and blatant [[racism]] of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]], more specifically 'Nabe's Dojo-Shin', where Master [[Excel-Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky, and presumably to the [[The Moon|Moon]]. However, Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref>

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Totarry not Asian.]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card, reverse
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|[[Pokémon]] card
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg|[[Prower]], Punchy's [[Transformer]]
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Jerkop

2012-01-10T03:01:11Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}

[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
A '''Jerkop''' is either a '''mall security guard''' or an "evil" '''police officer'''. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21]</ref>

In the [[comic|Sonichu comics]], Jerkops serve as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]

==Appearance==
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Standard Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|some shitty recolor]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]

Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. Chris goes into greater detail in his "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu #4]]:

{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the[sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil[sic], yet ugly legs; viens[sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove[sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of[sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}}

Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.

Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzen such as Bagget.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Police?==
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 28}}

[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]

While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu ''#5]] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.

That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]].

While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|#9]] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|#10]], Chris introduces Constables Lou Perez and Gerald Grant, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.{{clear}}

==Equipment==

{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4]] cover}}

[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol cleverly disguised as a [[penis|duck]].]]

Jerkops, in order to cockblock everyone, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56]</ref>. What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] as to fall for such a shoddy disguise.

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick, pulled from nowhere. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a metal slingshot and sometimes wears a metal suit. Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume seems to protect him from the electric attacks of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The Jerkops also employ several [[Transformers|transforming robots]] for transportation and battle. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.'s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]].
{{clear}}

==Weaknesses==
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.

==Creation of a Jerkop==

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.

As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.

==Appearances in comic==
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]
*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]
*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]
*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]
*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]
*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]

==Notable Jerkops==
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Punislav]]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Villains]]

Honor roll

2012-01-10T01:45:43Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{protip|It has so far unknown whether or not Chris really did make the honor roll. [[China]] or [[pickles]] and a place in the Trolling Hall of Fame awaits anyone who can conclusively prove or disprove Chris's honor roll status.}}

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the [[The creepy stare|slack-jawed stare]] says so much more.]]

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos [sic] de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|Ricardo Weston Chandler <ref>Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points [should be "puntas"] of HONOR ROLL. Good!</ref>}}

{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}

Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in [[high school]] is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt on this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status wherever possible, due to it being the closest thing in his life to an actual accomplishment.

==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*In [[Sub-Episode 2]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just deliberately [[troll]]ed your [[heart level]] down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto emails|e-mails]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia autobiography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his [[autism]], and how he is apparently better than those with [[Aspergers]].
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from [[February 2009]] announces that he made the honor roll.
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.<ref>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref>
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.

==Chris made the honor roll?==
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. Depending on his school's standards for who winds up on the honor roll, it may not represent that impressive an achievement, especially if Chris was able to rack up the required grade point average with remedial course work instead of normal classes. In some schools, the only requirement is a minimum GPA, so anyone with a GPA of, say, 3.5, is on the honor roll, even if every single course was a remedial course. For what it's worth, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in [[2004]] noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. It's also noted that often times with honor roll, it's not hard to get honor roll if you have done all your homework and class work and did adequate on tests, even in a normal class setting. So, A in homework, and C in tests, MIGHT average to the B area, at least enough to be considered in the honor roll.

On the other hand, it's not completely out of the question to consider that Chris might have been able to get decent grades in school. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also rages ''I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.

Chris's basic cognitive functions work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his laziness, [[naïve|naïveté]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]] and [[Chris and sex|raging hormones]] have obviously led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain... but then if he weren't so blinded by his ego, he would never have believed that [[Nintendo]] was interested in his [[Sonichu|shitty knockoff character]] in the first place.

So, is Chris too stupid to have made the honor roll? Maybe. Is Chris too gullible, arrogant, and led about by his [[duck]] to function in real life? Definitely.

One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the piles of shit that litter his house, he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others, or he's just too lazy to get up and find them), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them. On the other hand, he's probably had them all along, and would never reveal them because they prove that he's the dumbfuck we know him to be.

Contradictorily, Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note; transcripts are not too difficult to obtain.

It is noteworthy that [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] stated in a Prank Call that Chris did not, in fact, make the Honor Roll.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npFYbb2sccs</ref> It is possible that Bob was either mistaken, lying or progressing into senility.

==Notes and references==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Manchester High School]]
*[[Slow-in-the-minds]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Clyde Cash

2012-01-09T23:57:05Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]
For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]
Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| maker = Psycatalyst
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
== Sources ==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]
{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

Butt garments

2012-01-09T23:39:40Z

Galford: Added citation.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

'''Butt garments''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for diapers, which are used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] (or [[Wikipedia:encopresis|endocrepsis]], where one unintentionally shits themselves). He most likely calls them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them. Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before [[Barb]] caught on and hid them away in her room.<ref>[[Ivy_Q%26A#Cheating|Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

==Discovery==
On 16 [[April 2009]], images of Chris in diapers leaked, with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the butt garments were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to [[Ivy]]'s ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them.

After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
*[[Chris and health]]

==References==
<references/>

{{stub}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]