CWCki - User contributions [en]

I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC

2010-04-06T22:30:50Z

Ganymede: /* A history (1:44 to 4:11) */

"'''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC'''" (officially "'''I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts'''") is a video uploaded on 26 [[2009#July|July 2009]] by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], in which he redefines the word [[Homos|gay]], showcases his artwork to demonstrate his authenticity and finishes with a vicious attack on the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].

==Summary==
[[Image:I Am The TRUE, Original.jpg|thumb|240px|Ian shows off his [[Scrapbook of Fail]].]]

The video opens with Ian standing in his room, wearing his [[Chris and fashion#Wardrobe|red shirt with blue and gray stripes]], [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Medallions of Fail#Mark 3|Sonichu medallion]] and his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Ian announces he is "here to dispel a big, fat thing". He then explains that the [[It's UGH!|two videos]] of him singing along to "Ok2bgay" by Tomboy were the result of blackmail, and that he felt quite nauseous about the whole thing. Ian tells us he was (mis)informed that "Ok2bgay" was "a mockery", and so his performance was in a similar vein—in fact, it was comparable to comedy legends ''[[Monty Python]]''.

From this, he somehow reasons that, since he was mocking being gay as stupid, his true message was it's okay to be stupid. He then feels obliged to assert his own heterosexuality by screaming "I AM STRAIGHT!", although the rhetorical question of whether Ian looks gay is met with hesitation before a shake of the head. Confusing the word "accusation" with another similar word, he also demands the cessation of "acquisition messages". We are also reminded that any dissing of Ian [[Do Not Dis C Ville|is also a diss of CWCville and Charlottesville]]. This is all achieved with multiple jump cuts, dramatic removal of and discarding of his glasses, wild gesticulation and [[YouTube]] video annotations.

Ian then defends himself from accusations of being an impostor by going through the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and displaying (allegedly) original art from the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]] while providing commentary.
{{clear}}
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|XxWDwHvksOM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage at the start then mellowing out when he talks about sonichu
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalredshirt.png]] Horizontal red shirt
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"]]
| next = [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

====Dispelling a big, fat thing (0:00 to 1:43)====

Hi! [''points and waves finger''] Christian Weston Chandler here! And I am here to dispel a [[Chris and Health|big, fat thing]].

[''jump cut'']

[[It's UGH!|The... urkay to be gay sign, nnhg...]].

[''jump cut'']

When I first read the lyrics I was being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed]] into doing this.

[''jump cut'']

I felt queasy [''dramatically removes glasses''] from the first time I looked at the very first line [''dramatically discards glasses''] of that damn, dirty song. But then, later, a friend made me realize—uh, a friend told me that ''it was originally done as a mockery''! ''A mockery'' by the damn Tomboy. ''A mockery''! So I went with that... and did my own spin-off of [''arms outstretched''] ''Monty Python's Flying Circus''! {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Random Access Humor|Really Stupid Flying Donkey]]}} So therefore when I was saying ''it's okay to be gaaay'' I was saying it's okay to be STUPID! Stupid! That's one reason why I put that message in front of the video. {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Honor roll|Webster's Dictionary: -Gay (Adj.) 1) STUPID!!!]]<ref>Webster's primary [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay definition] of gay is "happily excited[;]merry"</ref>}} Y'know, the word is stupid! The word is STUPID!

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:ChrisAnnotations.jpg|thumb|This is why [[YouTube]] made annotations: so Ian can communicate the need for "liberated vag".]]

The whole premise was stupid and that's what I went with. Stupid! I am straight! [''annotations: ''I AM [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!!!!!!!!!, I LOVE [[Ivy|NATURAL WOMAN BREASTS]]!!!!!, GIVE ME LIBERATED [[China|VAG]]!!!!! and MY [[Duck|DUCK]] HUNGERS FOR [[China|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!] Would I even be doing this if I—

[''jump cut'']

And look at me. Do I look like [''shakes head in disagreement'']—'''no more of those stupid acquisition messages!'''

[''jump cut'']

Get it through your '''fucking'''... '''individual'''... '''damn'''... '''dirty'''... '''''SKULLS'''''! '''I'''... '''am'''... '''STRAIGHT!'''

[''jump cut'']

[[Do Not Dis C Ville|Do not diss me any more!]] Or you will further diss [[CWCville]] and the city of [[Charlottesville]]!

====A history (1:44 to 4:11)====

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|right|60px]]
But anyway, to prove another point that I am indeed the real Christian Weston Chandler. And that I am not that damn fucking [[CChanSonichuCWC|imposter in brown]]! I am going to show you a history, [''produces a black folder with the cover picture from [[Sonichu 0]] on the cover, shakes his head like a smug, retarded tortoise, and raises the pitch of his voice considerably''] of close-ups. A close-up history. Let's have a look in here, shall we?

[''jump cut to a close up of the Sonichu 0 cover'']

Ah yes, the infamous [''totally misunderstanding the meaning of the prefix -in''] classic hand-drawn cover of the [[Sonichu 0|''Number 0'']] book. You can never, ever copy the hand-drawn styles. No matter how hard you try.

[''jump cut to Ian's face poking out of the right side of the frame'']

My art [[Autism|speaks for me]]. Now let's look at some more.

[''jump cut'']

Here's a one page I'm sure you remember.

[[Image:SchuComicPage6.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu defeating the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]'']

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqYkCJaBAyA Bad, bad Leeroy Brown.]

[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] kissing under some fireworks'']

Mine and the first romantic attempt,[regurgitating something his mother must have told him] and I did an awesome fuckin' job.

[[Image:Sonichu_Adventure_for_Gamecube.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of the cover of ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]]

Here's another one.

[''jump cut'']

And that corner tag came from an original "only for GameCube" title that was originally... a GameCube title but then later it expanded to other consoles. [''pulls picture down and pokes his head in from right''] Damn [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]].

[[Image:issueone.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''Sonichu 1]

"Chemical X?"
"No, cherry cola."

[[Image:SchuComic2Page21.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to an ad for some retarded Pokémon cards'']

A favorite classic ad.

[[Image:SchuComic2Page23.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a page from ''Sonichu 1]

Oh yeah, here comes a laugh:

"I'm Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du, Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du-duuuu~"

[''laughing like a deranged lunatic at a joke not humorous to anyone but him''] "Hahahahaha!"

[[Image:SchuComic2Page35.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from another page from ''Sonichu 1]

What's the difference between [[Amy Rose|Amy]] and Rosechu? Long tail. Rosechu has spikes. Amy has a red headband, Rosey has white. Her default outfit has stripes. Amy's does not. Blue and fire-engine red are their favorite colors. She prefers a different shade of red, Amy does. Now while they are going getting about, we'd like to save time and money with Get-co.

[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the [[Axe]] ad'']

Only for the [[Homos|straight]] man. Axe. He use the Orizon—Orion scent.

"May I orbit your belt, sweetheart?"

"Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt... as long as you want until midnight! Hahaha, yeah! Jackpot!" [''OH HO! Funny, Chris. Ba-zing!'']

====A history (4:11 to 6:01)====

[[Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|a scene]] from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] arc of ''[[Sonichu 2]]]

Anuh—And now something completely different. An ''Inuyasha'' parody... very good.

[[Image:Issue3.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a closeup of the [[Chaotic Combo]] on the cover of [[Sonichu 3]]'']

[''sings''] Hey, hey. The gang's all here. What the heck do we care? What the heck do we care?

[[Image:SchuComic4Pages5%2B7.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to two overlapping pages of ''Sonichu 3'': the introductions of [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]]'']

Here you are, two famous ladies.

[[Image:SchuComic4Page8.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]'']

[''sings'']I'm Nabeshin. My afro suits me; it's so easy to clean just wash it wash, Poemy was not the girl who ripped his tail, it was [[Mypoe]] you dang, old dorks.

[[Image:SchuSubE4P11.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|"McAttack"]] featuring a replica of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] made of [[pixelblocks|Lego bricks and Pixelblocks]'']]

[''high-pitched, squeaky voice'']Oh, look! I made it from Legos and Pixelblocks. And, believe it or not, [[Pixelated PS3|I play "Thunderhorse"]]! ''[[Guitar Hero]]''!

[[Image:issue4.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''[[Sonichu 4]]]

I went. I fought. I eventually conquered with courage.

[''jump cut'']

[[Cwc dare|Heaven only knows what you might find. DARE. Dare to keep all your dreams alive!]]

[[Image:Crystal.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from ''[[Sub-Episode 7]]]

The twin sister I wish I had in real-life.

[[Image:SchuSubE7P10.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another scene from ''Sub-Episode 7]

Holy Vector Sigma, [[Optimus Prime]]!

[''jump cut'']

Where's Bumblebee when I need him?

[[Image:Chris_blood.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from ''[[Sub-Episode 8]]]

Damn you, Bagget.

[[Image:Jack's_Knight_as_William_Spicer.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Jack's Knight from the first page of ''[[Sonichu 5]]]

Special summoned guest star: Jack's Knight. Where is the queen and king? Matter of fact, was there an ace in the hole?

[''jump cut'']

[''gay voice''] The hole of the ''queeeeen''?

[[Image:Sonichu05-P14.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Chris-chan Sonichu plays ''Yu-Gi-Oh!]

CWCspells, activate! Pshoo!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P15.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the page opposite'']

''Annnnnnnnd'' CREATURE SWAP!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Megan|Sailor Megtune]] and her Megagi La Skunk'']

In the name of all hearts in the universe—

[''jump cut'']

—we shall punish you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P20.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Megagi La Skunk punches Chris-chan Sonichu in the head'']

[''makes a punch noise'']

[''jump cut'']

That hurt.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P30.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Mary Lee Walsh'']

Damn you, dirty witch. Damn you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P37.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the first page of ''Episode 13'': a group picture containing Chris-chan, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo'']

Welcome to CWCville. Let's get this party started.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P38.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the following page'']

Evil witch, I will avenge all hearts you have shattered (including myself), which you have done in October [[2003]].

[[Image:Sonichu05-P41.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another page with Megan and Megagi'']

[''sings''] Uuuhduhnuhnuhnuhnuhduhduhnuhnuhnuhduhnuh ala Tuxedo Kamen! Duhduhduhnuhnuh

====A history (6:02 to 9:34)====
[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 6]

[[Patti]], I miss you. [[Chris and Death|Come home]]. We'll go play catch. And dear [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] misses you, too... very much so. I love you.

[''jump cut to image of Allison Amber from ''Sonichu 6]

Miss [[Allison Amber]] has been appointed vice-mayor upon her hiring. And she took the position of mayor during my absence within the [[time void|alternate dimension]]. Billy Mays was never the mayor; he was my bodyguard and [[obesity|body-double]]. Shave off his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|beard]], we look alike. Although, I constantly mistake him for Richard Karn. [''sings''] ''Home Improvement''! ''Home Improvement''! Starring Tim Allen. [Note: Home Improvement had an instrumental theme song, and even then it sounded nothing like Chris's howling]

[''jump cut to previously unseen drawing of Billy Mays'']

[[Chris and Death|Come on back]], [[Billy Mays]], and enjoy our dogwood festivals in Charlottesville!

[''jump cut to image of [[Bionic]] from ''Sonichu 6]

[[Bionic|Sonic had a twin brother? And he's a basketball all-star?]] [''sings'']

[[Chris and music|You're a shooting star,
No matter where you are,
As far as the eye can see,
No matter who you be.]]

Only so many witnesses in Manchester high school have actually witnessed the creation and birth and Sonichu and Rosechu. [[Chris and his ego|Nobody else could ever had the experience those individuals have]].

[''jump cut to image of [[Megan]] and Chris from [[Sonichu 7]]'']

Wow, he recovered quick... kind of a Goku get'em attitude. [[fail|Too bad I was never just that too all into him. Megan... WHY?!]]

[''jump cut to Chris'']

...And for that matter, [[The Game Place|Michael Synder]], WHY?! [''annotation: ''Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.]

[''jump cut to Ghostbusters "skitch" from ''Sonichu 7]
[''Peter Griffin laugh''] Before time travel back, I got to visit the Ghostbusters' house. [''more Peter Griffin laugh'']

[''jump cut to image of [[Kellie Andes]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Kellie, [[lie|I hope you are happy in your married life.]]

[''jump cut to image of [[Joseph Herring]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Hey, Joe, whaddya know? Haven't heard from ya in a long time. How've you been? Hope you found yourself your female sweetheart. Too bad what's-her-name didn't fit the bill so well. She was a damn, dirty bitch. A picky one, too, whatever her name was.

[''jump cut to ''Beavis and Butt-head'' ripoff from ''Sonichu 7]

[''Beavis voice''] Check it out, Butt-head. Somebody left their locker open.

[''terrible Butt-head impression''] Let's close it for them. BAAAM! Who wants to make love today? [''high-pitched girl voice''] Oh, we do! We do teacher! Alright. April, Lorry, Susan... ''Simoooooone''....

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu embracing from ''Sonichu 7]

I love you, Rosey. I love you, too, Soney. Oh, by the way, you didn't think Sonichu and I were just living together the whole time? We got [''annotation: ''March 17, 2006. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!] married March 17th, 2006 at [[Angelica]]'s church. We kept our marriage outside of the comic pages, as well as our children, which we have three of. Two [[Rosee|Rosees]] and a [[Sonee]]. As to just not parently—permanen—prematurally miss the family-life during the early days of being online. We are staying offline for a while, bitches!

[''jump cut to drawing of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'']

[''[[Chris and music|sings]]''] Everybody's trying to break my spirit, keeping me down... but the fire in my heart keeps growing! Growing!

[''jump cut to cover of [[Sonichu 8]]'' ]

Alright, spring break! Next summer, we get [[Chris's Big Night Out|drunk]]. Woo!

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of an American flag from ''Sonichu 8]

We, the electric hedgehogs and everybody in the city of CWCville as a [[C-ville]] within the state of Virginia, stand firm and strong as proud citizens of these United States that everybody have [[Twin Falling Towers|fought so hard for the freedom of.]]

[''jump cut to image of Rosechu from ''Sonichu 8]

WE HAVE [[China|VAGINAS]], DUMBASSES!

[''jump cut to "Knothole" ad from ''Sonichu 8]

[[Parody|KNOTHOLE FROM BLAMMO! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNDUN-DUNDUN!]]

[''jump cut to image of [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles]] from ''Sonichu 8]

Oh, yeah, they got married recently on July 4th, 2009 [''annotation: ''July 4, 2009! A bit of Black Bubblie Goodness TONIGHT! :D]. Happy Independence Day, you lovebirds! [''cackles''] [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|TONIGHT]]!

[''jump cut to "Greta Squall" joke from ''Sonichu 8]

...leaving hundreds injured. For [[Excel Saga|ricto FQX]], I'm Greta Squall Magironi. Keep it real and rockin' hard at SPRING BREAK! WOO!

[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 9]
Workin' on it! [''annotation: ''Workin' On It]

====One final tidbit (9:34 - 9:55)====
And now for one final tidbit a spit of retribution against Howard the fiend {{YoutubeAnnotation|What The Hells Were You Thinkin' With That Damn, Dirty Pickle Suit, Brine-Headed Nerd?}} from the cult of [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited fiends]]. Divine retribution for that day you stole [[Emily]], [''gives the finger''] you damn watchman.

[''jump cut to picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Howard and a hedgehog'']

[''sings''] What the hells were you thinking with that damn pickle suit?

==Sauces and notes==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|nextlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]|}}
{{Template:The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC

2010-04-06T22:29:52Z

Ganymede: /* A history (1:44 to 4:11) */

"'''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC'''" (officially "'''I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts'''") is a video uploaded on 26 [[2009#July|July 2009]] by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], in which he redefines the word [[Homos|gay]], showcases his artwork to demonstrate his authenticity and finishes with a vicious attack on the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].

==Summary==
[[Image:I Am The TRUE, Original.jpg|thumb|240px|Ian shows off his [[Scrapbook of Fail]].]]

The video opens with Ian standing in his room, wearing his [[Chris and fashion#Wardrobe|red shirt with blue and gray stripes]], [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Medallions of Fail#Mark 3|Sonichu medallion]] and his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Ian announces he is "here to dispel a big, fat thing". He then explains that the [[It's UGH!|two videos]] of him singing along to "Ok2bgay" by Tomboy were the result of blackmail, and that he felt quite nauseous about the whole thing. Ian tells us he was (mis)informed that "Ok2bgay" was "a mockery", and so his performance was in a similar vein—in fact, it was comparable to comedy legends ''[[Monty Python]]''.

From this, he somehow reasons that, since he was mocking being gay as stupid, his true message was it's okay to be stupid. He then feels obliged to assert his own heterosexuality by screaming "I AM STRAIGHT!", although the rhetorical question of whether Ian looks gay is met with hesitation before a shake of the head. Confusing the word "accusation" with another similar word, he also demands the cessation of "acquisition messages". We are also reminded that any dissing of Ian [[Do Not Dis C Ville|is also a diss of CWCville and Charlottesville]]. This is all achieved with multiple jump cuts, dramatic removal of and discarding of his glasses, wild gesticulation and [[YouTube]] video annotations.

Ian then defends himself from accusations of being an impostor by going through the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and displaying (allegedly) original art from the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]] while providing commentary.
{{clear}}
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|XxWDwHvksOM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage at the start then mellowing out when he talks about sonichu
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalredshirt.png]] Horizontal red shirt
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"]]
| next = [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

====Dispelling a big, fat thing (0:00 to 1:43)====

Hi! [''points and waves finger''] Christian Weston Chandler here! And I am here to dispel a [[Chris and Health|big, fat thing]].

[''jump cut'']

[[It's UGH!|The... urkay to be gay sign, nnhg...]].

[''jump cut'']

When I first read the lyrics I was being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed]] into doing this.

[''jump cut'']

I felt queasy [''dramatically removes glasses''] from the first time I looked at the very first line [''dramatically discards glasses''] of that damn, dirty song. But then, later, a friend made me realize—uh, a friend told me that ''it was originally done as a mockery''! ''A mockery'' by the damn Tomboy. ''A mockery''! So I went with that... and did my own spin-off of [''arms outstretched''] ''Monty Python's Flying Circus''! {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Random Access Humor|Really Stupid Flying Donkey]]}} So therefore when I was saying ''it's okay to be gaaay'' I was saying it's okay to be STUPID! Stupid! That's one reason why I put that message in front of the video. {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Honor roll|Webster's Dictionary: -Gay (Adj.) 1) STUPID!!!]]<ref>Webster's primary [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay definition] of gay is "happily excited[;]merry"</ref>}} Y'know, the word is stupid! The word is STUPID!

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:ChrisAnnotations.jpg|thumb|This is why [[YouTube]] made annotations: so Ian can communicate the need for "liberated vag".]]

The whole premise was stupid and that's what I went with. Stupid! I am straight! [''annotations: ''I AM [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!!!!!!!!!, I LOVE [[Ivy|NATURAL WOMAN BREASTS]]!!!!!, GIVE ME LIBERATED [[China|VAG]]!!!!! and MY [[Duck|DUCK]] HUNGERS FOR [[China|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!] Would I even be doing this if I—

[''jump cut'']

And look at me. Do I look like [''shakes head in disagreement'']—'''no more of those stupid acquisition messages!'''

[''jump cut'']

Get it through your '''fucking'''... '''individual'''... '''damn'''... '''dirty'''... '''''SKULLS'''''! '''I'''... '''am'''... '''STRAIGHT!'''

[''jump cut'']

[[Do Not Dis C Ville|Do not diss me any more!]] Or you will further diss [[CWCville]] and the city of [[Charlottesville]]!

====A history (1:44 to 4:11)====

[''jump cut'']

[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|right|60px]]
But anyway, to prove another point that I am indeed the real Christian Weston Chandler. And that I am not that damn fucking [[CChanSonichuCWC|imposter in brown]]! I am going to show you a history, [''produces a black folder with the cover picture from [[Sonichu 0]] on the cover, shakes his head like a smug, retarded tortoise, and raises the pitch of his voice considerably''] of close-ups. A close-up history. Let's have a look in here, shall we?

[''jump cut to a close up of the Sonichu 0 cover'']

Ah yes, the infamous [''"totally misunderstanding the meaning of the prefix -in"''] classic hand-drawn cover of the [[Sonichu 0|''Number 0'']] book. You can never, ever copy the hand-drawn styles. No matter how hard you try.

[''jump cut to Ian's face poking out of the right side of the frame'']

My art [[Autism|speaks for me]]. Now let's look at some more.

[''jump cut'']

Here's a one page I'm sure you remember.

[[Image:SchuComicPage6.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu defeating the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]'']

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqYkCJaBAyA Bad, bad Leeroy Brown.]

[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] kissing under some fireworks'']

Mine and the first romantic attempt,[regurgitating something his mother must have told him] and I did an awesome fuckin' job.

[[Image:Sonichu_Adventure_for_Gamecube.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of the cover of ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]]

Here's another one.

[''jump cut'']

And that corner tag came from an original "only for GameCube" title that was originally... a GameCube title but then later it expanded to other consoles. [''pulls picture down and pokes his head in from right''] Damn [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]].

[[Image:issueone.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''Sonichu 1]

"Chemical X?"
"No, cherry cola."

[[Image:SchuComic2Page21.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to an ad for some retarded Pokémon cards'']

A favorite classic ad.

[[Image:SchuComic2Page23.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a page from ''Sonichu 1]

Oh yeah, here comes a laugh:

"I'm Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du, Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du-duuuu~"

[''"laughing like a deranged lunatic at a joke not humorous to anyone but him"''] "Hahahahaha!"

[[Image:SchuComic2Page35.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from another page from ''Sonichu 1]

What's the difference between [[Amy Rose|Amy]] and Rosechu? Long tail. Rosechu has spikes. Amy has a red headband, Rosey has white. Her default outfit has stripes. Amy's does not. Blue and fire-engine red are their favorite colors. She prefers a different shade of red, Amy does. Now while they are going getting about, we'd like to save time and money with Get-co.

[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the [[Axe]] ad'']

Only for the [[Homos|straight]] man. Axe. He use the Orizon—Orion scent.

"May I orbit your belt, sweetheart?"

"Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt... as long as you want until midnight! Hahaha, yeah! Jackpot!" [''"OH HO! Funny, Chris. Ba-zing!"'']

====A history (4:11 to 6:01)====

[[Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|a scene]] from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] arc of ''[[Sonichu 2]]]

Anuh—And now something completely different. An ''Inuyasha'' parody... very good.

[[Image:Issue3.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a closeup of the [[Chaotic Combo]] on the cover of [[Sonichu 3]]'']

[''sings''] Hey, hey. The gang's all here. What the heck do we care? What the heck do we care?

[[Image:SchuComic4Pages5%2B7.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to two overlapping pages of ''Sonichu 3'': the introductions of [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]]'']

Here you are, two famous ladies.

[[Image:SchuComic4Page8.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a close-up of [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]'']

[''sings'']I'm Nabeshin. My afro suits me; it's so easy to clean just wash it wash, Poemy was not the girl who ripped his tail, it was [[Mypoe]] you dang, old dorks.

[[Image:SchuSubE4P11.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|"McAttack"]] featuring a replica of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] made of [[pixelblocks|Lego bricks and Pixelblocks]'']]

[''high-pitched, squeaky voice'']Oh, look! I made it from Legos and Pixelblocks. And, believe it or not, [[Pixelated PS3|I play "Thunderhorse"]]! ''[[Guitar Hero]]''!

[[Image:issue4.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the cover of ''[[Sonichu 4]]]

I went. I fought. I eventually conquered with courage.

[''jump cut'']

[[Cwc dare|Heaven only knows what you might find. DARE. Dare to keep all your dreams alive!]]

[[Image:Crystal.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from ''[[Sub-Episode 7]]]

The twin sister I wish I had in real-life.

[[Image:SchuSubE7P10.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another scene from ''Sub-Episode 7]

Holy Vector Sigma, [[Optimus Prime]]!

[''jump cut'']

Where's Bumblebee when I need him?

[[Image:Chris_blood.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene from ''[[Sub-Episode 8]]]

Damn you, Bagget.

[[Image:Jack's_Knight_as_William_Spicer.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Jack's Knight from the first page of ''[[Sonichu 5]]]

Special summoned guest star: Jack's Knight. Where is the queen and king? Matter of fact, was there an ace in the hole?

[''jump cut'']

[''gay voice''] The hole of the ''queeeeen''?

[[Image:Sonichu05-P14.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Chris-chan Sonichu plays ''Yu-Gi-Oh!]

CWCspells, activate! Pshoo!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P15.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the page opposite'']

''Annnnnnnnd'' CREATURE SWAP!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Megan|Sailor Megtune]] and her Megagi La Skunk'']

In the name of all hearts in the universe—

[''jump cut'']

—we shall punish you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P20.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a scene where Megagi La Skunk punches Chris-chan Sonichu in the head'']

[''makes a punch noise'']

[''jump cut'']

That hurt.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P30.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to a picture of Mary Lee Walsh'']

Damn you, dirty witch. Damn you!

[[Image:Sonichu05-P37.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the first page of ''Episode 13'': a group picture containing Chris-chan, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo'']

Welcome to CWCville. Let's get this party started.

[[Image:Sonichu05-P38.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to the following page'']

Evil witch, I will avenge all hearts you have shattered (including myself), which you have done in October [[2003]].

[[Image:Sonichu05-P41.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]
[''jump cut to another page with Megan and Megagi'']

[''sings''] Uuuhduhnuhnuhnuhnuhduhduhnuhnuhnuhduhnuh ala Tuxedo Kamen! Duhduhduhnuhnuh

====A history (6:02 to 9:34)====
[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 6]

[[Patti]], I miss you. [[Chris and Death|Come home]]. We'll go play catch. And dear [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] misses you, too... very much so. I love you.

[''jump cut to image of Allison Amber from ''Sonichu 6]

Miss [[Allison Amber]] has been appointed vice-mayor upon her hiring. And she took the position of mayor during my absence within the [[time void|alternate dimension]]. Billy Mays was never the mayor; he was my bodyguard and [[obesity|body-double]]. Shave off his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|beard]], we look alike. Although, I constantly mistake him for Richard Karn. [''sings''] ''Home Improvement''! ''Home Improvement''! Starring Tim Allen. [Note: Home Improvement had an instrumental theme song, and even then it sounded nothing like Chris's howling]

[''jump cut to previously unseen drawing of Billy Mays'']

[[Chris and Death|Come on back]], [[Billy Mays]], and enjoy our dogwood festivals in Charlottesville!

[''jump cut to image of [[Bionic]] from ''Sonichu 6]

[[Bionic|Sonic had a twin brother? And he's a basketball all-star?]] [''sings'']

[[Chris and music|You're a shooting star,
No matter where you are,
As far as the eye can see,
No matter who you be.]]

Only so many witnesses in Manchester high school have actually witnessed the creation and birth and Sonichu and Rosechu. [[Chris and his ego|Nobody else could ever had the experience those individuals have]].

[''jump cut to image of [[Megan]] and Chris from [[Sonichu 7]]'']

Wow, he recovered quick... kind of a Goku get'em attitude. [[fail|Too bad I was never just that too all into him. Megan... WHY?!]]

[''jump cut to Chris'']

...And for that matter, [[The Game Place|Michael Synder]], WHY?! [''annotation: ''Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.]

[''jump cut to Ghostbusters "skitch" from ''Sonichu 7]
[''Peter Griffin laugh''] Before time travel back, I got to visit the Ghostbusters' house. [''more Peter Griffin laugh'']

[''jump cut to image of [[Kellie Andes]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Kellie, [[lie|I hope you are happy in your married life.]]

[''jump cut to image of [[Joseph Herring]] from ''Sonichu 7]

Hey, Joe, whaddya know? Haven't heard from ya in a long time. How've you been? Hope you found yourself your female sweetheart. Too bad what's-her-name didn't fit the bill so well. She was a damn, dirty bitch. A picky one, too, whatever her name was.

[''jump cut to ''Beavis and Butt-head'' ripoff from ''Sonichu 7]

[''Beavis voice''] Check it out, Butt-head. Somebody left their locker open.

[''terrible Butt-head impression''] Let's close it for them. BAAAM! Who wants to make love today? [''high-pitched girl voice''] Oh, we do! We do teacher! Alright. April, Lorry, Susan... ''Simoooooone''....

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu embracing from ''Sonichu 7]

I love you, Rosey. I love you, too, Soney. Oh, by the way, you didn't think Sonichu and I were just living together the whole time? We got [''annotation: ''March 17, 2006. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!] married March 17th, 2006 at [[Angelica]]'s church. We kept our marriage outside of the comic pages, as well as our children, which we have three of. Two [[Rosee|Rosees]] and a [[Sonee]]. As to just not parently—permanen—prematurally miss the family-life during the early days of being online. We are staying offline for a while, bitches!

[''jump cut to drawing of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'']

[''[[Chris and music|sings]]''] Everybody's trying to break my spirit, keeping me down... but the fire in my heart keeps growing! Growing!

[''jump cut to cover of [[Sonichu 8]]'' ]

Alright, spring break! Next summer, we get [[Chris's Big Night Out|drunk]]. Woo!

[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of an American flag from ''Sonichu 8]

We, the electric hedgehogs and everybody in the city of CWCville as a [[C-ville]] within the state of Virginia, stand firm and strong as proud citizens of these United States that everybody have [[Twin Falling Towers|fought so hard for the freedom of.]]

[''jump cut to image of Rosechu from ''Sonichu 8]

WE HAVE [[China|VAGINAS]], DUMBASSES!

[''jump cut to "Knothole" ad from ''Sonichu 8]

[[Parody|KNOTHOLE FROM BLAMMO! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNDUN-DUNDUN!]]

[''jump cut to image of [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles]] from ''Sonichu 8]

Oh, yeah, they got married recently on July 4th, 2009 [''annotation: ''July 4, 2009! A bit of Black Bubblie Goodness TONIGHT! :D]. Happy Independence Day, you lovebirds! [''cackles''] [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|TONIGHT]]!

[''jump cut to "Greta Squall" joke from ''Sonichu 8]

...leaving hundreds injured. For [[Excel Saga|ricto FQX]], I'm Greta Squall Magironi. Keep it real and rockin' hard at SPRING BREAK! WOO!

[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 9]
Workin' on it! [''annotation: ''Workin' On It]

====One final tidbit (9:34 - 9:55)====
And now for one final tidbit a spit of retribution against Howard the fiend {{YoutubeAnnotation|What The Hells Were You Thinkin' With That Damn, Dirty Pickle Suit, Brine-Headed Nerd?}} from the cult of [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited fiends]]. Divine retribution for that day you stole [[Emily]], [''gives the finger''] you damn watchman.

[''jump cut to picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Howard and a hedgehog'']

[''sings''] What the hells were you thinking with that damn pickle suit?

==Sauces and notes==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|nextlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]|}}
{{Template:The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]