CWCki - User contributions [en]

SingStar Challenge Round 5

2014-06-09T02:24:06Z

Giantgroundsloth: needless hate

'''The fifth and final round''' of the [[SingStar Challenge]] saw the two competitors each sing a song at the other's request. [[IBAChandler]] sang two versions of "Can I Smell Yo Dick?" by Riskay. [[CChanSonichuCWC]] likewise performed two versions of "Lift your Eyes" by [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]].

==IBAChandler's Initial Entry==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Smell Yo Duck"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sEyos6YB2_o}}
| stardate = 05 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{PokeShirt|text}} {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[For Kacey from CWC|For Kacey]]
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Revised Entry|Smell Yo Duck Too]]
}}
{{quote|Can I smell yo d'''u'''ck?}}
Ian sings the final song, requested by CChanSonichuCWC, "Can I Smell Your Dick?", but changes the word "dick" to "[[duck]]" in each instance, therefore disqualifying him. However, in the information section of the video, Ian claims to be sorry for all that he has done to the real Chris and [[Kacey]], and says that they are both his close friends. In both of the "Can I Smell Your Dick?" videos, Ian manages to pronounce roughly 10% of the lyrics, with the other 90% being incoherent babbling, implying that Ian made virtually no effort to learn the song before singing it.

=== Transcript ===
Hello, Chris. Well, I have been uh, mistaken, I have been in error, and I humbly apologize from the bottom of my heart. I did you wrong, I did Kacey wrong. But still, she had to know. That why I communicated in the first place. But she still cares about you, man. At least 'n that's you, you real lucky guy to er, get that. Even after lying to her like that for all of the time. But still, dude. My humblest apologies. Let's just hope we can put this behind us and please dude, please. Stop pretending to be me. It ain't worth it! It's not fun! You're gonna get yourself in jail, man! Identity theft is a serious crime! 'Specially after what you, the hefty bill you put up. Counterfeited my driver's license, with your picture on it. Counterfeited my high school diploma. Counterfeited my Piedmont degree. You've really got yourself up a big bill man. I hate to see uhh-d, I um, I mean, I will personally seen it, but I was talkin' to Kacey, she cares about you very much man. I just hate to break up the relationship between you and her. Especially one so HONEST, so TRUE. She loves you, man. I wuhh... things to make me feel bad. If you have to, if you end up going to jail after all this. So please dude, come clean. Yes, your name is Chris Chandler. That's it. No "-tian", No "Christopher", No "Ricardo". No "Weston". That's you man. So please man. Take off that paper medallion. Stop sellin' the fake merchandise, come clean, please. Come clean and I'll be right. Between you, between me, between Kacey. The whole world. Anyway I'll leave that up to you, as you sing "Lift Up Your Eyes" as I sing this track. Alright.

[''Chris dons a brown longsleeve shirt, and his orange Parappa the Rappa beanie. He wears a pair of sunglasses directly above his regular glasses.'']

Alright. Let's do this thing. Smell yo duck. From Riskay.

[''Smell Yo Dick from Riskay begins playing. Chris remains silent during the into, then sings along, badly. He replaces the word "dick" with "duck", violating the rules he thought up for his own contest.'']

[''Chris takes off his prescription glasses, and the eyeglasses fall in front of his eyes. He pushes them back up, and again they fall down. He repeats the process two other times before they stay.'']

The cards are on the table. You hold your hand. It's your move. Whatcha gonna do? Stop the charade, live freely, happily, or continue on and might end up in jail. Whatever you do, think about it while you sing "Lift Up Your Eyes" man. *[[sigh]]* Chris, you ok. You got your guitar playin'. You got more languages than I took. But still man, you need to quit pretendin'. With somebody you're not. [sings, awkwardly] God loves you by, your own name. Don't go makin' it look like someone else's. Especially with ID. Fake duhplomer and all that. Whatchyou gonna do, she gonna smell yo DUCK. Go ahead. Sing.

==Caught Cheating==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "Ian, (IMPOSTOR CWC) You Have 4 Hours or DISQUALIFICATION"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y__-AXpzV7s}}
| stardate = 5 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 4#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|C.W.C. SingStar #4: Think Twice, Eve 6 **ALSO SONG #5 CHOICE**]]
| next = [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|THE Christian Weston Chandler's FINAL SingStar #5 Song. Lift Up Your Eyes, The Planetshakers]]
}}
After being caught by [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] replacing every instance of the word "dick" with "duck", Chris is given four hours to sing the song TRUTHfully or face disqualification. Chris obliges, takes down the original and replaces it with a new version, then uploads the original just so the other can see his original message

===IBAChandler's Revised Entry===
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Smell Yo Dick Too"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TKJgdG3NGEA}}
| stardate = 5 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt}} Brown Shirt with Logo
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Initial Entry|Smell Yo Duck]]
| next = [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CHRIS CHANDLER]]
}}
{{quote|I ''said'' the word. Now lay off!}}

=== Transcript ===
Alright, Chris, we'll do this another time. But remember the nice words that I had said to you earlier, and I meant it from my heart. Remember...those words...I said to you. Can't say I didn't warn ya, Can't say I wasn't nice. But, I'm warnin' ya, dude, be goo- try- do the right thing. Okay, DJ Quest, do it!

[''holds the phone to his hear in silence through the intro'']

[''sings "Can I Smell Your Dick" (very badly)'']

[''throughout the song, Impostor gets more and more uncomfortable each time he has to say "dick"'']

[''at 3:32 he seems to gag or lose his breath'']

[''at 3:47 he makes another gagging noise'']

That's what you GET! I did the word. I SAID the word. Now lay off! Remember my words, I'll re-upload that video, so you can hear those words again, and again, and again...aside from the song. Fort-unfortunately I deleted it from my "EyeCreate" program, so I can't edit it. Now sing "Eye- now sing "Lift Up Your Eyes", and THINK about it. Go ahead, Chris.

==CChanSonichuCWC's Entry==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "Lift Up Your Eyes"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yYJhW88dH-c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Revised Entry|Ian, (IMPOSTOR CWC) You Have 4 Hours or DISQUALIFICATION]]
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#CChanSonichuCWC's Revised Entry|RE-DONE Christian Weston Chandler (CWC) Final SingStar Challenge Song! You're WELCOME, Ian.]]
}}
{{quote|Well, here it is Ian, last song of the competition...}}

=== Transcript ===

Well, here it is Ian, last song of the competition. I'm almost sad is over. Then I remember how much of my identity you stole from me. Mmm. And I'll never get it back. Alright-well I already have it back. But, uh...you'll never take it.

[''CChan sings ''Lift Up Your Eyes'' by The Planetshakers, in a very [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]-like way'']

[At 2:08 he comments mid-song, "Tryin' to steal my girlfriend?" which is likely part of the reason Ian wants to disqualify it.]

==CChanSonichuCWC's Revised Entry==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "RE-DONE Lift Up Your Eyes"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Kc_eyy_ENU}}
| stardate = 7 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|THE Christian Weston Chandler's FINAL SingStar #5 Song. Lift Up Your Eyes, The Planetshakers]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_August-November_2009#Ian.2C_Talking_Time_is_Over._The_REAL_Christian_Weston_Chandler_is_SICK_of_Your_Lies._Come_CLEAN.|Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.]]
}}
This version was made after [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|allegations]] made by Ian Brandon Anderson about differences between the video and song lengths in the previous video. The Real Chris obliged, sang the complete song and noted the length of it.

=== Transcript ===
Hello Ian, [''sighs''] I said I'll sing-I'll sing your whole song but it's just the same thing over and over and over again you know? I mean, I don't see what's the point. You got some kind of secrets plan to troll me again? You know you troll me so much.

[''Chris sings, again in a very monotonous sound. Occasionally, after singing "And the Lord God almighty" he adds "and Jesus and the Mall Conductor Bear".'']

[''At the end, he yells "[[wikipedia:Sanctus|Holy, Holy, Holy]]" in a manner similar to the infamous [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY cries]]'']

Mmm, yeah that was a pretty long song. Mmm, I agree.

[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]

{{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-05]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-05]]

SingStar Challenge Round 4

2014-06-09T02:21:05Z

Giantgroundsloth: removed needless hate

The '''fourth round''' of the [[SingStar Challenge]] involved [[IBAChandler]] singing "[[Wikipedia:The Touch (Stan Bush song)|The Touch]]" by [[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]] alongside [[CChanSonichuCWC]] covering "[[Wikipedia:Think Twice (song)|Think Twice]]" by [[Wikipedia:Eve 6|EVƎ 6]].

__TOC__

==IBAChandler's Entry==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "The Touch"
| image = {{#ev:youtube|rxeVfjTfoFQ}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 4 [[August 2009]]
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] [[Music]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] The Classic
| previous = [[CWC_-_Hand_Drawn_Original| Hand Drawn Original]]
| next = [[For_Kacey_from_CWC| For Kacey]]
}}
IBAChandler did a fourth video for the challenge. This song was "The Touch" by Stan Bush, from the ''[[Transformers|Transformers: The Movie]]'' soundtrack. Ian makes no comments before or after the song, however, he occasionally closes his eyes, touches his heart, or raises his hand, for dramatic effect. With moist cheeks and sniffles, at several points in the video, Ian seems close to tears and being choked up- reportedly, this video took place just after an angry, berating call from [[Kacey]].

==CChanSonichuCWC's Entry==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "Think Twice"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NvJveHpEjaY}}
| Stardate = 4 [[August 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Bonus Video| Challenge Video BONUS: #3. C.W.C. IMPOSTOR is Revealed, And TRUE and ORIGINAL Parents Discussed. ]]
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Revised Entry|Ian, (IMPOSTOR CWC) You Have 4 Hours or DISQUALIFICATION]]
}}
CChanSonichuCWC responds to the challenge and also gives Chris the song he should sing next: "Smell your Dick" by Riskay.

===Transcript===
[''Inhales''] Hello Ian, this one's for you. [''CChanSonichuCWC sings "Think Twice" by EVƎ 6''] You better watch your back.

[''Video jumps'']

And the final song to you to sing will be entitled "Smell your Dick", by huh, by Riskay. And you-and you have to sing the whole thing. You have-you can't change 'cause that's cheating and that's adlibbing, you have to sing the real thing. Mmm, yeah sing it like a man if you-if you want to win the competition. Peace. [''makes a peace sign with right hand'']

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009]]|nextlink=[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]|}}
{{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-04]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-04]]

Talk:Facebook

2013-03-04T05:24:01Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Chris is updating his Facebook */

==To Do==
*archive the messages on a separate page ([[Facebook messages]] works)
*maybe make a separate page to mirror Chris's Facebook account (to clarify, his Facebook page as it appeared before it was hacked - --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 2 June 2009 (CEST))
*include his notes (maybe a separate page for that too, actually)

As for this page, maybe just outline the extent Chris used Facebook, highlight some of the stuff with it, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:09, 1 June 2009 (CEST)

To put it bluntly; this page needs more words. Some of the messages are very funny when juxtaposed. He would rather go out with a jailbait 17 year old "party girl" (read:slut) than a empathetic single mom. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:44, 1 June 2009 (CEST)
* A general commentary for the current themes that pop up in Chris's [[Facebook messages]] and in his Facebook page and notes are more warranted than commentary for each and every individual e-mail.

I know that the Miyamoto Saga e-mails have a commentary of it but most of it is from Clyde (RIP) who provides a commentary on what he was saying as he lost the original sent e-mails from when he was Miyamoto.

But really, I think just a general commentary is needed and that Chris's messages are far more amusing and should speak for themselves. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:55, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Whatever you say, hoss. Mind was a little skewed due to rage.

What to do STILL - Go through his statuses. How lonesome is this fuck going to be? evenmore.zip [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

==Collapsible gallery==

Oh, and can we make the gallery collapsible? I know standard wiki formatting has the gallery at the bottom, but, like you said, they speak for themselves, so a general commentary would be more aesthetically pleasing below it. Gives the reader space to grasp the fucktardedness before adding our POV. Just a suggestion.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

*A collapsible gallery would be great, but can you make one? God help us that none of us can't edit unless it's basic shit like making templates (read: copy and pasting stuff from Wikipedia templates, lol), editing pages, etc. Seriously, we could use collapsible galleries in a lot of pages but no one has gotten around to it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:50, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

* Oh, damn, I assumed you were a senior wikifag. I'll see what I can do, it can't be too difficult, right? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:17, 4 June 2009 (CEST)

* I am a wikifag. See [[Template:Collapsible]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 03:31, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==Has Chris regained use of this profile, or is it still under troll control?==
I was under the impression he got it back, but it seems not long ago he posted a status that was pretty clearly a troll. I'm mostly an idiot so there's a good chance this was obvious somewhere long ago, but the article doesn't really address what happened to the profile after trolls hijacked it. Is that something that could be included? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:28, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== He's still using Facebook ==

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Weston-Chandler/167832525915

Might wanna update that link.

*LOOKS LEGI- Oh wait. NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:53, 27 January 2011 (PST)
Gotta go with Freecell on this one...There is no way in hell this is Chris's facebook...though the going to the bar and bring his DS is something Chris has done before... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:46, 27 January 2011 (PST)

*What about [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000426003596 this one?] --[[User:Morbid Duck|Morbid Duck]] 18:43, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
# "This is my real facebook. I had to make a new one due to all these trolls HARASSING ME AND HACKING MY ACCOUNT"
# Uses an old picture everyone has
# "Proud too say I'm still a virgin :)" group
# Talking about Skyrim without a computer
Not Chris. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:17, 23 April 2011 (PDT)

*This just appeared on my "you might know this person" sidebar on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 [[User:frozenblwf|Frozenblwf]]

*That one seems pretty legit, Frozenblwf. A pic no one has seen before and the profile is private (so obviously not trying to grab everyone's attention). Good find! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 16:48, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

*Also, note he is wearing ear rings in both ears. Which means they are recent due to him getting his ears pierced. My money is on this being legit. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:07, 6 July 2011 (PDT)CFA

*Looks like the page has been deleted. [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 03:53, 7 July 2011 (PDT)

*One of the Bobs on facebook is friends with this account, but I'm pretty sure it's not him because the photo is too old. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1801600742 [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 03:15, 13 July 2011 (PDT)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 will take you to Chris's facebook profile that uses his typical "chrischansonichu@aol.com" email address. This is a profile picture we've never seen (or at least I don't think we have)*NOTE: It says it was added THIS monday, the 23 of January 2012, so yes, he's still using facebook. It will need a screen cap added. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:42, 25 January 2012 (PST)
*There's also a note he's published about what he wants in a girl...it's pretty hilariously chris:
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT
-Caring, Sweet, Honest
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better
-NOT A Smoker
-Social Drinker or non-alcoholic
-Upfront
-No STDs
-Carefree/Light-Hearted
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)
-Takative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches
-Brunette or Blonde hair
-B-Cup size minimum
-Clean
-Casual
-Not Crazy or Abusive
-Make-Up Optional
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:46, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Doesn't look like Tineye or Google Reverse Image Search are turning up anything, either. Guess it is a new picture. I used to know how to pull someone's full profile picture, but I don't remember anymore. I'll see if I can find it. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 08:47, 25 January 2012 (PST)
::I was so intent on dicking around that I didn't realise that his full profile picture is readily available. Never mind. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 09:04, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Oh my atheist god, he just doesn't get it. While the picture is arguably an improvement over the old ones, this list is... just... just... it has the Chris-essence condensed and distilled in it. It creeps me out. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 09:05, 25 January 2012 (PST)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian_Weston_Chandler/579729310
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-20 22:38:31, 404 Not Found
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-28 08:04:22, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Closed/Privatized ==

I can no longer find his account under chrischansonichu@aol.com; he has either closed it or listed it to private. He had a 'facebook friend' named Kim Wilson who is still listed though. Should it be mentioned in the article that as of Valentines day Chris no longer had a visible facebook page? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:26, 15 February 2012 (PST)

==Recent leaks==

As stated previously by the February 2012 page, some screencaps of Chris Facebook wall have been leaked, can we put it on the article or is it too early (a risk of Chris seeing them and leave the internet)--
ADDENDUM : The file name are Chfb1.png to Chfb4.png (uploaded by a user named Westbound)
[[User:René Duprée|René Duprée]] 13:02, 17 February 2012 (PST)

I doubt anyone would mind you adding them as long as they don't make it on the update right away. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 08:53, 23 February 2012 (PST)

== Something Fishy ==

All of the recent posts on FB seem odd
The writing seems forced and the content seems to perfect.

Im wondering if this is the act of trolls. Especially the "going back to fashion square with my sign" posts. it just seems like the work of a troll or Chris trying to be a troll. In light of the severity of the court cases and the fact that christian was on a FB hiatus that was possibly due to his lawyers direction, i am in severe doubt as to the genuineness of the recent posts. I understand that came from the TRUE and HONEST CWC account but it just seems... fishy... [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 10:26, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
*Canine has confirmed it. Cogs has confirmed it. Anna is friends with the account, and we all know that Anna and the inner circle don't agree with each other. There is no reason to doubt that this account belongs to Chris. Also, Chris's writing has always seemed forced and anything new about him is always unbelievable at first.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 11:34, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
** I don't think slimz was doubting that the account was Chris's, I think slimz was insinuating that these accounts are "100%" Chris. (Either by hack or by assistance) --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:05, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
* Chris is probably trying to goad da trollz into a mall confrontation, complete with curse-ye-ha-me-has. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 11:44, 27 April 2012 (PDT)
**I'll admit I think it's all a bit odd but then who knows what is going through Chris's mind at this stage. He seems to be viewing himself as a master troll given the screencaps of the forums and what not. Who knows what he wants. --[[User:Gytrash|Gytrash]] 07:22, 29 April 2012 (PDT)

== "Hynamin"? ==

I believe Chris may be referring to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Hyneman MythBuster Jamie Hyneman] in his most recent note. I have done a quick search of tour information and could not yield anything recent in Virgina. If someone higher on the totem pole could check into this, I think it'd be worth their while. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 20:21, 1 May 2012 (PDT)

*That or he fails at spelling "hymen." [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 20:47, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
** I bet this is it http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html an excerpt
"""The USA Science & Engineering Festival will also feature leading science celebrities like Bill Nye of "Bill Nye the Science Guy." Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage of the "MythBusters" will appear live during the finale expo. Also scheduled to appear are Jeff Lieberman from Discovery Channel’s series "Time Warp" and Apollo Robbins, who is known as the "gentleman thief," from National Geographic’s "Brain Games.""""
[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 09:03, 3 May 2012 (PDT)

Ah. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 22:26, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Backpage ==
Backpage is a site like Craigslist that still allows escort advertising. We could probably browse the backpage site for his area and find someone that was/looked half Cherokee (olive skin, dark hair etc) and call them to get the story (if its at all true) virginia.backpage.com i cant do it from work but maybe later today ill look into it [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:01, 2 May 2012 (PDT)
* Umm... I see where you're going with this, but I'm pretty sure that there's nary a hooker alive that would name-drop their johns to a stranger. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 16:08, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

== Regarding the recent posts ==
Chris-chan seems mighty proud of the fact that he mislead us over a small piece of information, and he stated outright that there are more events that he may or may not be outright lying about. Does this mean we should take all his recent Facebook posts with a grain of salt? Including his claims that he got laid? [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 12:09, 3 May 2012 (PDT)
:That's exactly the reason I was arguing that it shouldn't be written in as fact on Da Update. I personally believe that he's telling the truth about it, but stating that anything is fact just because "Chris said so" would be a great way to ruin the integrity of our articles. After the last edit war over this, I'm not going to start another (since I'm busy with exams and don't have time for it), but if you change it, I won't stop you. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 01:47, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
:*AGREED ! ! ! this could be an attempt by chris to change the facts about him online, to troll the trolls or to just create a fantasy world where he is no longer a virgin. It sounds legit but considdering there is a "friend" who "Brought them together" this could be a manipulation tactic by someone else. (a troll using chris to troll the trolls... thats priceless) [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 04:41, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

== Iphone ==

According to the "recent activity" on Chris's facebook...he now can access facebook through his Iphone...which means of course, he has an Iphone. Now does this information need to be posted anywhere in particular? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 00:08, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
:It could also mean he's using an iPod touch or iPad. That just means he's using the app --[[User:Cthuluology|Cthuluology]] 13:37, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
doubt it but i changed it to reflect that. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 17:32, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

== Cole's Response to Chris ==

I noticed that CWC's half brother Cole finally got fed up with his shit and decided to throw his two cents in. Here are the caps below.

<center><gallery>
Image:FBCole1.PNG
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[[User:CHN|CHN]] 16:17, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

*Looks like a fake Facebook account to me. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 16:27, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:* I looked on his wall and I saw one of his past posts that reads this.

:"I'm tired of getting harassed by people who want to know about my brother. Let me make this perfectly clear to you people: This Facebook is for friends and family only. No business, no film reviews, this is purely personal, so please respect my personal space and my brother's personal space.

:I don't even know how or why I was found, and if the harassment persists, I'm involving the police.

:Thank you."

:It might be him since if that was a fake account it would most likely be used to "troll" Chris and not ask people to leave him alone. I understand why Cole is asking for personal space to be left alone by trolls wanting to know more about Chris because he doesn't want to be known for having a brother who acts like a total retard. I also feel sorry for him who might have seen the "cakefarts" video too. Cole is about what in his 50s and he's already doing something in his life by doing film reviews and of course he has his own family and he seems to rather want to spend more time in his job and family than talking to trolls about Chris. So in my opinion that account is Cole since imposters after Chris want to decimate more information about Chris for the world to share. Cole himself doesn't want to be bothered by Internet strangers about his brother and seeing that he has a career and family I can see why. [[User:CHN|CHN]] 16:48, 23 June 2012 (PDT)

::Seems fake to me. "Cole" tells us that this facebook is for friends and family only... When he only has one friend in his account. Furthermore, if he was really not interested in being harassed by Christards he would have simply made his entire facebook private rather than have his posts visible to all. You could argue that Cole only says that he doesn't want to associated with Chris when in actuality he's trying to use him for attention, but I don't think this fits the pattern of behavior Cole has displayed in the past. From what I know he's trying to avoid being known as Chris's brother rather than using his sibling's infamy.

::If you ask me the main motivation of "Cole" is to fool Chris rather than anyone else. This troll hopes that by posing as Chris's half brother he might get a response from him. I predict he'll fail although Chris's gullibility never fails to surprise me. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 12:30, 24 June 2012 (PDT)

::Real or fake, he threatened to drag the cops into this if we kept bugging him, so let's assume real and spare ourselves the trouble. This one's a dead end anyway. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 23:16, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

::It's fake. His real account is just Cole Smithey. It's the one with the profile picture of him playing the guitar. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 01:13, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== 20120623 Facebook Post ==
Does anyone have the text from the June 23rd post, or the means to access it? It's mentioned in the news, a portion of it was quoted on the main page, but it never got posted on this page. [[User:The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here|The Mad Butcher Of Insert Country Here]] 23:16, 25 June 2012 (PDT#
:[[:image:Train wreck.JPG|Here you go]], and here's a screencap of [[:image:Chris whines about ponies.JPG|Chris whining about some MLP shit]]. I'm not quite sure where we should put these two... I don't think these are notes since they aren't listed on Chris's facebook profile as such but what are they? Statuses? I don't really know how to properly label all this facebook stuff because I don't have an account #I had to borrow a friend's account in order to take those screencaps#... - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 05:46, 26 June 2012 #PDT)
:What about [[:image:June_26_Facebook_Message.png|this one]] from June 26? Yes, a bunch of my freiends' avatars were included in the screencap, and no, they didn't go away even when I edited it, so don't bring it up. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 01:35, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== iPhone ==

Hey I thought id bring this up again because there was a screen shot with a strange carrier (http://www.ntelos.com/)and i wanted to know, are they a official carrier? is this relevant to any page here? and if you have to have a jailbrake/unlock could this lead to further info gathering? [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 22:31, 1 August 2012 (PDT)
* I looked up NTelos' Wikipedia page and yes, they are an official carrier, though a minor one as it functions primarily in the Virginias and yes, they officially carry the iPhone, doing so at a ''reduced price''. Which means Chris' cheapness shines through again!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:42, 1 August 2012 (PDT)

== Facebook leak ==

Looks like there's a new Facebook leak someone got [http://789chan.org/bt/res/174.html here].

There's a lot there so get to it.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:15, 8 October 2012 (PDT)

==Chris is updating his Facebook==

Why isn't the FB page being updated? Chris is whining about the trolls again on his Facebook page and nobody is recording it. [[User:ElRodrigo|ElRodrigo]] 14:15, 22 February 2013 (PST)

* Why don't you do it? Love, [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 21:24, 3 March 2013 (PST)

== Recent topics ==

His recent response to Tara Strong's Twilightlicious. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:57, 1 March 2013 (PST)

<blockquote>
Christian Weston Chandler 
February 25 via mobile 
near Charlottesville, VA 
 
I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste. 
 
While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was. 
 
So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling? 
 
If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you. 
 
Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to. 
 
Sincerely, 
Christian W.Chandler 
Ruckersville, VA, USA. 
</blockquote>

User talk:Champthom

2012-11-13T04:46:09Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 5|5]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 6|6]]

== Champ, I mean it now ==
When I come on here and see that people like [[User talk:Steve Landcleamer|this mouthbreather]] have been fucking with pages while being told not to and spamming pictures of furry porn that we for some reason allow on here, and yet I have the power to neither delete the image or ban the sperg, it cuts me deep. I'm on here often enough and I've already contributed a lot to the wiki. Can you throw some Jerkop powers my way so I can sort this shit out in future? We don't have nearly enough active mods and this place seems to have this kind of shit all the time. I mean this seriously Champ, I think the CWCki could benefit a lot from more Jerkops. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:09, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
:Before you answer him, Champ, keep in mind that I've also been here a long time and am also actively contributing; so if you decided to give Old meme jerkop rights, I sure would appreciate receiving them as well. Just saying. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:24, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

*You both make good points. Could you point out the furry image though, the only image I've seen by him is that picture of Chris ejaculating on Anna's face, which I've incidentally deleted because I don't think it really improves the Anna article. Anyways, about quality in general - I've discussed this issue with Anonymax, and this goes for the both of you, that as regular users you have all the tools needed to improve the quality of the CWCki. If there's an incidence such as an edit war going on, you're welcome to ask any of the admins to step in to resolve the issue. For these reasons, I don't think it's needed to add more jerkops or admins for these reasons. However, if it ever got out of control, then I would consider making someone a quality control jerkop to enforce quality standards. However, I think for the most part you all have the tools you need, just keep making good edits and reverting shit like you have been doing and I think that should be sufficient.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:11, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
**He's probably talking about [[:Image:Sonichu.jpg|this picture]], which was spammed on [[CWCki:Privacy policy]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:46, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

== Deletion of Fail; Effects ==

Would it be necessary to organize a project of some kind to remove red "fail" pipes from pages across the CWCki? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 11:27, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
*[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special:WhatLinksHere/Fail&limit=500 Here they all are]. Clean them at your leisure. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 11:57, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
:[[User:Anonybot|Anonybot]] is working on it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:41, 23 April 2012 (PDT)

Fail article deleted, stupid page names corrected, Champ finally got around to deleting the furry porn. It's been a good week. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:39, 24 April 2012 (PDT)
*At least SOMEONE is happy.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 25 April 2012 (PDT)

==Why did you delete the article on Kim?==
She is as notable as any of the gal pals, and all the info IS public, coming from the Kacey calls.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:03, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know the Kim from the Kacey calls is the same Kim Wilson? Kim is a fairly common name. You're also assuming a lot of things, like Kim is ScarletSanctum when you have no proof of that, and you're including a lot of things that are rumors like how some apology video was because Kim was upset. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:04, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

*1. Chris states her name is Kim Wilson in one of the Kacey calls.
*2. ScarletSanctum is Kim's youtube handle, as stated in [[SingStar Challenge]].
*3. Chris addresses in that video that he upset Kim and Kacey with the previous video.

And if the name was an issue why not just redirect the page to "Kim"?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:17, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know that ScarletSanctum is Kim? Does Chris explicitly mention it? Also does Chris specifically say Kim in that video in that it upset her? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:23, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

Chris does explicitly mention it. Look at this dialouge in [[Kacey Call 1]]:
*Chris: Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...
*Kacey: Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.
*Chris: Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.
*Kacey: Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?
*Chris: No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

As far as making the video in response to offending Kim, he also implicitly states this:

"Uh, I dedicate this video to uh, Logan. Boyfriend of my gal-pal, Kim. Yeah, anyway uh, I've--I just wanted to uh, apologize for uh...offending you in anyway"

He could also be referring to offending Logan, but either way why through the baby out with the bathwater?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:35, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*Let me think about it. In the meantime, I've made a [[User:Steve Landcleamer/Kim|subpage]] for you in the meantime.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:39, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

So is there any hold up or is the page good to go? I've answered all your questions and it seems to meet all the requirements.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:32, 5 May 2012 (PDT)
*Don't you think it might be a little bit imprudent to make a page about Kim?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Why would it be imprudent? All the information is public and sourced. All the other gal pals have pages, so what would the problem be?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:37, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Well?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)
*Good God, first learn some patience, this isn't a life and death issue. Second of all, let me put it this way - in your own words, the supposed Kim calls are unreleased. Why do you think that is?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:18, 8 May 2012 (PDT)

Because "she"'s obviously still trying to troll Chris. Regardless, that's beside the point, while the calls haven't been released, all the information in the article has. You initially deleted it under the guise that is was "Not notable, not based on public information", but we both know that that's clearly not the cause. My page seemed to meet all the guidelines, so based on Cwicki guidelines, what is objectionable about it?

I'm sorry if I seem impatient, I just find this quelling of already public information to be pretty ridiculous and counter productive to the CWCki.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 14:43, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
*Based on my discussions with Canine and Anonymax, I have decided to restore the article. Remember, the CWCki is form Chris's POV so Kim isn't a troll, she has not publicly declared herself to be a troll to Chris. I'd also avoid posting on /cwc/ and CWCki Forums when you make an article on a delicate topic like this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:09, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

===If I may step in and say a piece===
I know I may not be towing the party line by saying this Champ, but Land has a point here. This is all information that was technically on the wiki anyway, just in out of the way places. Personally, I have no problem with covering things up for trolling purposes, because I understand the need to do so and I'm not one to whine about dang dirty stonecutters, but we have information on Kim here already. I don't care which side of the fence you're on Champ, I'll just go with what you say, but you've got to at least be consistent. Either allow the article outright, or if you object to some of the content in the article being made public, censor it and then allow the censored version to be posted. Your decision is final and no-one would be able to stop you, so I don't know what you're worried about. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:22, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
*True, I realize this, but the issue is that there's a good reason that Kim doesn't already have an article, mostly for [[A_Quick_Guide_to_CWCki#Privacy|privacy reasons]] which is indeed already covered. I'm trying to convey that subtly. Remember, Chris reads the CWCki, and loose lips sink ships. I don't think "we" released the Kacey calls, Canine tells me it was all dropped by Liquid's twin brother so it's not like we were able to filter through everything to see if anything was objectionable.

:This is a difficult decision and I need to discuss it with Canine a bit more, unfortunately we have conflicting schedules so I'll try and catch him tonight.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:31, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

==Chris's POV==
*Thank you for restoring the Kim article. I am wondering something concerning what you said about the cwicki supposed to be from Chris's point of view. Why do articles like [[Obesity]] state that Chris is fat? He's said multiple times that he does not think he is. There are lots of other examples like this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:07, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

[[Chris and reality]] would be the best example of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:13, 11 May 2012 (PDT)
::We go by what Chris thinks/says unless we have decent evidence to the contrary. With his obesity, we have more than enough evidence to support this. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 12 May 2012 (PDT)

==Permanently Banned from Message Board==
I really don't understand this at all. Please respond to the email I sent you.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:21, 6 May 2012 (PDT)

Never mind one of the other mods took care of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

I have a similar problem and would like to be unbanned. [[User:Negi Springfield|Negi Springfield]] 23:23, 9 July 2012 (PDT)
*I'm guessing you got banned for being a sperglord, but what's your username?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
I was banned due to 789chan having a thread on me during one of their CWC dry spells. I went by Negi Springfield, so not much different from what I'm using right now. [[User:Negi Springfield|Negi Springfield]] 17:01, 10 July 2012 (PDT)

I would also like to be unbanned from the message board. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 00:29, 7 August 2012 (PDT)
*You've had two threads about you on /cwc/ plus you've sperged about your "comic." No, you're not getting unbanned.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 7 August 2012 (PDT)

There was never a single warning I had received from any board moderator regarding personal attacks or violating message board policy. If my posts were so terrible, it only stands to reason that your moderators would have jumped in. Aren’t they the watchdogs of the message board?

What exactly is your justification for permanently banning people who have been mentioned on 789Chan? [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 07:22, 8 August 2012 (PDT)
*There is a clear rule about over sperging and if there's a /cwc/ thread about you, odds are you've sperged too much. My moderators are often too lax when it comes to this sort of thing, which is why I step in. I don't need to warn you, you should know better, if you have autism that you choose not to treat that is not my fault. And my rationale? If you've got a thread about you on /cwc/, me banning you is the least of your concerns. In fact, I am doing a favor by preventing you from digging yourself deeper in a hole. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:42, 8 August 2012 (PDT)

Champ this is right from the CWCki about “Sperging”
“The CWCki forums highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies”

As far as sperging about my comic that was in reference to critiquing Chris’ art style

I mentioned there were open source graphics programs such as GIMP that were completely free to download. I brought up the fact that he could spend a little bit of his tugboat on reference works with royalty free manga stock images and copyright would not be an issue.

As for a few of the other topics that I started that probably sperged?
Are we being unfair to Chris in judging him?
Would you hire Chris if he was genuinely seeking employment?
Do you think that Chris and Barbara were intimate with each other?
If Chris decided to charge $250 for a for two day visit at his house and a no holds barred interview, would you take him up on it?

The board moderator(s) that I observed that wanted to put in their two cents worth joined right in on the debates: They had no issues with this. You mentioned the board moderators were too lax. I disagree. They were doing their job.

Let me share something with you: When that thread started about me around the beginning of January on 789chan and I was permanently banned: I monitored that thread every day. They went back and looked at my posts. Do you want to know what their reaction was?

They were baffled on why I was being banned. They didn’t bust my chops because of what I posted in the forum. What got the thread off the ground was a personal attack on 789Chan over a Beiber troll on my YouTube channel that came back and bit me in the ass. Was it a moment of stupidity that I regretted? Yup.

Have I been brought up twice on 789Chan? No. I’d say 5 to 10 times is more of a realistic estimate. It wasn’t sperging that brought me up on 789Chan. It was curiosity about my YouTube channel (which has been around for years) and more recently my website. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 20:31, 8 August 2012 (PDT)
*Why do you want to go back on the forum so bad? It's kinda sad that you're going to all this trouble. Seriously, move on dude, talk about Chris on /cwc/, see how that goes. Hell, go to [[User:Slimz|Slimz's]] forum. Or start your own. Why do you want to go back on the forum so much? The point is that you give us unwanted attention and I have enough trouble maintaining the forum's reputation as it is.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:15, 9 August 2012 (PDT)
'''NOTE''' slimz forum is no longer active, never really was. Slimz would like to be reinstated in the forums as well :) i have bene here editing for a while ban was like a year ago. [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 13:14, 9 August 2012 (PDT)
*Most of your edits are shit, plus what you do here has no bearing on the forums. You are the reason why everyone on /cwc/ thinks we're all A-Logs, there is no fucking way you're going back on the forum. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:35, 9 August 2012 (PDT)

I just took off my last reply. I'm not going to worry about this anymore. Do whatever you want. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 22:46, 10 August 2012 (PDT)
*What was the username you had on the forum? I've thought about it and I think I might just let you back on.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:14, 11 August 2012 (PDT)

My username was Kengel1021 [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 16:04, 18 August 2012 (PDT)

Thank you Champ. I am not sure what the policy for reentry is upon a ban lift under these circumstances so I have registered a new account(YippoBlippo)for the forums.--[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 16:23, 9 September 2012 (PDT)

== Comms ==

I'm on IRC a lot and today is my day off work so if you're around so am I! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:19, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

== can I help? ==
Hey I have a capture card that does 720p,1800p,ect and wanted to know if I could use it to help (lbp videos,screen shots) does anything need to be rerecorded? also I'm moving soon so if you could say something in the next week or so (before I have to pack my computer up) that would be great. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)
* Sorry it took a day to get back to you, just had to think as I do appreciate your gumption. To be honest though, I can't think of anything in particular, BUT that's just to the best of my knowledge. Head over to [[CWCki:General|the community portal]] and ask there, there might be some people to have some ideas. Just do me one teensy favor - be sure to sign your posts (that's four ~ in a row) so we know who you are when you post. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:29, 30 May 2012 (PDT)
* thanks! [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)

==Bruce Johnson==
The Bruce Johnson thing is real. I don't even care about the PVCC anymore. I just want you to know I'm not making up what I added to the cwicki. Would you like a wider screenshot of the facebook convo?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 19:26, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know it's the real Bruce Johnson? Or rather, why should we trust you? I could easily have made a Bruce Johnson account to fool you. Even if it is real, do we really need it? All it boils down to is Johnson saying he's not a pedophile contrary to what Chris said. Is this really a startling revelation, that Chris said something negative about someone and it's not true? Do we really need to confirm this, in light of Chris's history? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*'Sup bitches, guess who's back? Champy, thought I'd drop in to tell you that under the "no shit is too minor" policy, (which you should really get rid of if it enrages you so), we do indeed need to confirm everything if possible. That said this is still probably bullshit, and confirming this still isn't your job. If you want my two cents, give Landcleamer a chance to convince you of its authenticity at least. I'm sure you have high standards for what you'd accept as convincing proof, so either someone else will go out of their way to contribute something valid, or he can fail to do so and you can say no again. Worst case scenario, Steve Landcleamer turns out to be the weenest of ween trolls and goes through a lot of work to convince you of something fairly inconsequential that can be removed if it later turns out to be fake anyway. The way I see it, this isn't a real problem for you either way. Let the monkey dance. Also, your insulting summaries were hilarious. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 02:12, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
:*I forgot to add in the summary that our friend Steve here wanted to be let into PVCC on the basis of this "startling" revelation. As I've said before, "no shit is too minor" should mean that we don't overlook things, not that we need to get third party confirmation on everything. Anyone who's familiar with Chris knows that his memory isn't totally accurate and he's been known to bullshit. Given that Chris has called Michael Synder a Jew, does this mean we have to contact Michael Synder and confirm whether or not he is a Jew? Do we need to contact Mary Lee Walsh to make sure she's not in fact secretly a witch planning on banning true love from Virginia? It should be pretty obvious that Johnson probably isn't a pedophile, and what does his admission of not being a pedophile say? He could be lying for all we know, I'm not saying he's a pedophile, he probably isn't, but his admission of not being a pedophile shouldn't be startling. I mean, did you expect him to say "Chris got me, I'm a kiddy piddler, I love little boys and molesting them as they sit on my lap and I do horrible profane things to them." Of course the answer is "no," why do we need to have confirmation of this?
::As I've said before, I don't like people bothering Chris tangentially related to Chris about stuff. I think having known Chris is punishment enough, it doesn't help to have epic ween trolls like Steve here think they're gonna get into PVCC on the basis of harassing these people and asking them for information about Chris. I think it's pretty damn weird and spergy to do this, that is to contact people with tangential relations to Chris and ask them details about Chris. Someone on the CWCki Forums is like "No, it's not weird, it's just like liking any celebrity like the Kardashians." Here's the thing - I don't think celebrity magazines are hunting down the lady who served one of those Kardashian people coffee and doing a full length interview. It's bizarre, I would be weirded out if some person went up to and wanted me to tell them everything I know about some person I vaguely remember from years ago.
::This isn't exactly someone who served Chris coffee, it's a major figure in Christory.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::Burden of proof is on Steve and he's on shakey ground. I don't trust him one bit. I don't like having things that could very easily be false on the CWCki because it hurts our reputation and people already distrust the CWCki as it is, I don't need to give them more reason to distrust it. I don't want to give people an incentive to make up fake bullshit and post it on the CWCki with the thought they'll be declared an epic ween troll for getting "new" "content" and that they'll get into PVCC and that mommy and daddy will finally love them because they'll no longer be wastes of human flesh.
::You have to REALLY convince me here, Steve. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:18, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Hey, no objections from me. Steve wants to dig up trivial information to try and get into PVCC, that's his business. It's not like it would at all harm the CWCki to put up a single quote from the man if it does turn out to be true. Though really, you need to do something about the abundance of ween trolls trying to get into PVCC, or even just normal idiots desperately begging for it, like 16BitAlex. Maybe the guys in the forum itself or on IRC get a good laugh out of them, but I personally just get depressed when I see people like Stevey-boy cluttering the CWCki recent changes, desperately pursuing some unattainable goal by making bullshit edits and whining as hard as possible on talk pages. It wastes your time, it wastes mine, it's rather sad, and it's not even entertaining enough for the guys on /cwc/ to get more than a single thread from it. All in all, a pathetic affair for all involved. I would suggest temp-banning Pipecleaner if he continues to make a nuisance of himself after this, under your "Drama whoring" clause. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:13, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Champ, you have my email. This might be a dumb idea on my part, but I'm willing to give you the facebook login information so you can see the message for yourself. I'm willing to trust you to not fuck with the account, just to go into the private messages and verify the authenticity. After that can I be allowed back to the cwicki forum, under the understanding that I'll never ask to join the PVCC again?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 07:50, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I think /cwc/ has made a good point, a point I have, is that - what did you expect him to say? Of course he's going to say he didn't molest Chris, even if he did molest Chris he's not going to admit it to some stranger. So having him say that he didn't do it isn't saying much, because either way he'll deny it and that really doesn't add anything to the discussion. And like I said, given Chris's background, we know he exaggerates things, and that his recollection of events aren't always the most reliable, do we need to actually get confirmation of this?
:::Ignoring the issue you wanted to get into PVCC, I don't see what it really adds to the discussion. I also don't want to encourage people to hassle people connected to Chris to get information.
:::If people feel like it absolutely, positively must remain in the article, I'd say something like "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..." or something like that so people can interpret it however they please. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:38, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Alright, can we keep it in under that wording?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:34, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::* How do we even know it was from Bruce anyway? I'm not doubting Steve Landcleamer has a message on his facebook, I'm 100% sure that if anyone where to get onto his facebook they would find said message...I'm doubting that it's Bruce. People have been faking to be people Chris knows for quite a while (like Megan), this wouldn't be a first.--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:10, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Why would someone make an entire fake facebook account full of pictures and friends, on the random change that years after its creation someone recognizes them as Chris Chan's old principal, just so they can dish out false information? If that was the case surely they wouldn't have just said that Chris is a liar and insane.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 10:43, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*May I ask a question? Even if you did successfully contact Chris's old principal, why was the only thing you could ask "R u pedo lol?". The big questions about Chris's time at NGE are "Why was he sent to the principal?", "Why exactly did they record his screams, was it because he was a repeat offender?", "Why was he transferred there from Greene County Primary?", and "Were the principal's lap incident and scream recording incident the same incident?". Any of those would be worth adding to the CWCki, and it would have cleared away most of the fog surrounding the event. Instead you asked for information that everyone already knew. It's like you stumbled into a garden containing hundreds of delicious alien fruits and came back with a half-eaten ordinary banana.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:00, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::Firstly, if you read the screenshot, you'll see I did ask him what really went down with Chris being sent to his office and having his screams recorded. All Johnson says is Chris is liar. Secondly I figured asking private information out of the blue about a former student would get no answer, by connecting it to the fact that Chris is getting sued by Snyder (who he also claimed was a pedophile), the message comes across as a concerned citizen looking out for Mr. Johnson, rather than some creep obsessed with Chris, and thus got a reply.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 13:56, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I would also add that just because the Facebook profile is full of pictures and friends doesn't mean it isn't fake. It could just be a -really- good fake. The kind of fake that leaves no obvious evidence that makes it easy to discern as a fake. As to why someone would have done it, stranger and less tactically sound things have happened, enough that I can conceive of and not be surprised by someone doing it for exactly the reasons you mentioned, regardless of the lack of point in doing so. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 15:17, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I will be happy to provide you a link to the facebook page, along with it's postings dating years back, and you still tell me this is can all be chalked up to an elaborate troll scheme.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*You don't need to. I checked the page in its entirety (at least as much as I had access to) before I posted here, and did again before posting this. I think this is more of a difference of opinion than anything: the factors that convince you that it is real (profile in existence since 2008, existence of friends and wall posts, etc), don't automatically convince me. Like 4Macie said, if this is a fake, it is hardly the first time someone has done it. I'll also reiterate my opinion that a -really- good fake will not have any obvious signs that it is a fake. I'm not saying that the profile is fake, just that there isn't any compelling evidence that it isn't. My official position is that it exists, and people more savvy and/or more connected than I can verify the truth of it all if they choose to. Whether it is or it isn't, I'm inclined to agree with Champthom in that Bruce Johnson not being a pedophile is hardly an earth-shattering surprise. At best, it's just (allegedly) confirming something everybody but Chris already believed to be true. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 17:51, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Does anyone object to keeping this info under the wording Champ suggested, "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..."? --[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*I don't think we should put it on here at all until Champthom is convinced it's real. Also; epic ween, brah.. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:33, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

===My thoughts===
I think the wrong focus here is whether it's indeed real or not. Supposedly this Facebook profile has been around a while, has plenty of photos, etc. What motive is there for someone to go into such detail and for what purposes? It's pretty easy why someone would want to impersonate someone like Megan or someone Chris knew from high school - so Chris will see these people, decide to talk to them, and they'd then be able to troll Chris. What purpose is there for someone faking Bruce Johnson? Why would Chris decide to contact Bruce Johnson? I can only really imagine Chris deciding 1) to look up Johnson and 2) taking the effort to contact him mostly to say something like "You molested me you pedofork!" and mind you, Chris is pretty lazy so he wouldn't go to that much hassle. So we have to possibilities - 1) someone has planned since 2008 to troll Chris and has created a believable Facebook profile, all for the motive of trolling Chris or 2) it's actually Bruce Johnson. Occam's razor would suggest the latter.

I think the real issue here is - how can we be sure it's real or not? There's no way of knowing whether this is real or not. Are we supposed to take Steve's word for it? What's to stop other people from making similar claims? People love making shit up about Chris and using that as a way to get attention for themselves or in Steve's case, to try and get into PVCC. The CWCki was designed purposely to separate truth and fact and that's why I take this sort of thing seriously, namely that I don't like things of dubious origins to be cited as facts on here.

But also, let's consider - why the hell is this so damn important? I mean, it's just Steve saying "Chris says you're a pedophile" and Johnson says "No I'm not." Is that really startling? Will this totally change the way we look at Chris's claim? You know what? Even if he was a pedophile, do you really expect him to admit to a strange he molested children? So his confession says nothing really. I think that a reader of the CWCki should be familiar with Chris's track record with memory in that he tends to remember things in his favor (like that he was a Pokemon gym leader vs. Lucas and Mimms's claim that he only did it one time when all the regular people were out), plus that [[Wikipedia:Repressed_memory|repressed memories]] in general can be dubious and that it's very easy to construct pseudo-memories. Let's be VERY generous and let's say that Chris was indeed molested by Bruce Johnson. Does this really excuse his homophobia? I'd say no. True, it'd be a more valid reason than thinking that you can "turn" gay but I think that really only justifies not liking one particular gay person. Let's say a black person robs me - does this justify me being racist to all black people? No, that'd be silly, just because one particular black person harmed me doesn't mean I should hate blacks as a groups. Same thing applies to Chris and gays.

Side note - Steve, don't break up one of my posts, because it looks like you wrote that whole bit when I in fact did.

In regards to your comment, you're right, this isn't like someone serving coffee - it's much weirder. It's more like if a complete stranger approached you on the street and asked you about the guy who sat two seats in back of you in English class and demanding you tell them every single detail about them. No, Chris isn't a celebrity, he's our bizarre obsession and we need to be honest with ourselves, it's sorta weird. If it wasn't for trolling, Chris would be an ordinary, dull person, albeit with some eccentricities but just an ordinary person who you might look at a few extra seconds if you were to pass him by but not a celebrity by normal standards. If you think it's normal to contact people who vaguely know people from ages ago and ask them for every single detail about said person, they'd probably think you're some sort of stalker or there's something mental with you.

So should we have this tidbit on the article? Like I said, I don't think it really adds anything. If it's generating this much furious debate, I don't think it'd be wise to include it. This isn't about me not being convinced, it's about not convincing the CWCki community as a whole. Like I said, I don't think we're losing out on anything major here.

Those are my thoughts at least. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:20, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

Why not include it? Isn't there an inherent interest to here Johnson's response even though it is what we'd assume it would be? It can only make an article stronger. Take for example a New York Times article about an alleged criminal, it will always make a note that they contacted the accused, even if the person simply replies with a refusal to comment.

Including Johnson's comments in the article helps verify what people suspect about Chris (he made this incident up). Isn't further information/confirmation better than none?

As far as proving the facebook message was not some photoshop, I'm still offering Champ access to the acount so that I can prove I am not doctoring things (and if I was wouldn't you expect the details to be a lot juicier?)--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:41, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
::: Seriously, why are you trying so hard for this? I'm pretty sure anyone who reads what Chris thinks about Bruce would naturally assume that Bruce didn't actually touch Chris inappropriately and that Chris's screams were not recorded for Bruce's amusement... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:15, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I've already explained myself. What is the harm in including it?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:46, 26 June 2012 (PDT)

So would you like the account info? I'd like to definitively prove that this is real and move on.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:26, 27 June 2012 (PDT)

* I don't think anyone doubts that you received the message, the uncertainty lies in whether the account you received it from is genuine which cannot be proved by someone logging into your FB account. And also whether it's important enough to go on the CWCki anyway. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 02:07, 28 June 2012 (PDT)

The what's wrong with the wording Champ suggested, "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..."? We've already established that there's an incredibly slim chance that it's a fake account, and this would reflect that small margin of error.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:41, 28 June 2012 (PDT)

* Ehhhh ... I'm still inclined to basically agree with Champ in the respect that this isn't really all that important and we're not losing out on anything major by not including it. I too also wonder why you're so insistent on this. Is this really so important that it's been worth the eight days of discussion thus far? That it's worth giving your Facebook info to someone to prove the authenticity of a point that is almost unanimously considered too minor to really be worth the effort? Which to me, I might add, seems an awful lot like something -Chris- would do, or would have done in the past. Honestly, the more you insist on having this put in the CWCki, the more skeptical I am and the more I feel that, for you, this is less about documenting things related to Chris and more about trying to boost your cred and adding more contributions to your credit. Or, like Champ already pointed out, trying to get into PVCC. Near as I can figure, the only one who is determined to see this in the CWCki is you. --[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 12:52, 28 June 2012 (PDT)
**This. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 05:39, 29 June 2012 (PDT)

*Alright fine, you don't want it, I'll stop pushing it. Champ can you let me back on the message board? I didn't violate any rules and it's been two weeks already.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:05, 29 June 2012 (PDT)
:*You broke the rule about being a sperg. If you wanna go talk about Chris, why not try /cwc/? I'm sure they'll love you there.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:45, 29 June 2012 (PDT)
:*That's okay I'm content without being a member of either and just editing the cwicki.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 19:08, 30 June 2012 (PDT)

====Help me out.====

I want to put this up as the video of the now but I'm not sure how. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r868reAYD4&feature=g-u-u[[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]]

== Ban [[User:Ireece1|this fag]] ==
You won't make me a mod, so get on it. Reason is vandalism. Check his user contributions. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:23, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
*Not seeing it, all he did was say that 789chan was down (it's not anymore). Not sure what you're talking about.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:35, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
*He implied a permanent closure when there was none. So my mistake, not vandalism. Inserting false information into pages. Still ban him. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 12:05, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
:*/cwc/ was down for a while and had a domain parking site in its place, it'd be easy to assume it's closed. A hasty assumption, but not inserting false information. Just revert since it's not the case and move on.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
::* *stress sigh* Fine. I'll let it go this time. But I still believe you're not nearly harsh enough. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:53, 2 September 2012 (PDT)

== banned ==

My IP is permabanned on the CWCki forum...this was the reason: "Multiple Ban Evasions - Keep Your Cool :) " I was told to come here and grovel before you.

== Missed a pic ==

[[http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Hello.jpg]]

The vandal from earlier uploaded Goatse here as well. [[User:Cleaner|Cleaner]] 07:49, 17 September 2012 (PDT)

^ Ditto. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 00:05, 22 September 2012 (PDT)

== New Article ==

What do you think? Ready for prime time? [[User:Lumber/Chris and brand loyalty]]. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 11:30, 1 October 2012 (PDT)

== New Article ==

What do you think? Ready for prime time? [[User:Lumber/Brand Loyalty]]. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 11:32, 1 October 2012 (PDT)
*I was going to say, I'm usually reluctant to add another "Chris and..." article as I think they tend to be too speculatory at times. But I think this is a decent topic, as I've seen Chris's brand loyalty brought up from time to time on forums, though usually it's some component of it (like "Why is Chris so dedicated to Sonic?") and it's been a while since we've had an article of this caliber written. It's not perfect, but then again I don't think any article on the site is perfect. It looks like you did your homework, as did the other people who contributed to the article. So why the hell not? Go for it, dude. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:21, 2 October 2012 (PDT)

== Ban Evasion ==

Ban Evasion for What???? I had over 100 posts and had been here for more than a month. I posted in the Cwcki forum inquiring about posting on the General Forum and Smoked Daddy sent me a link to the General Forum to make a formal request. Smoked Daddy approved my request and I was initially able to post in the General Forum. I sent a message to Smoked Daddy saying the problem was resolved.

Because Smoked Daddy was new and somewhat unfamiliar with the technical side of this of the CWCki, the General Forum denied me access after replying to one thread and was no longer able to post. I sent another message to Smoked Daddy informing him that I still had a problem posting in the General Forum. I tried to log in to the forums this morning and saw I was permanently banned. -[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 06:52, 22 October 2012 (PDT)
*You've been banned before, you know why I banned you before, you don't ban evade on my forum (i.e. sign up for a new account). Take it like a man instead of ban evading like a pussy. I don't care if Smokedaddy was okay with it, you've been banned before and you're still banned, don't think you're that clever. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:55, 22 October 2012 (PDT)

Clever about what Champ? Are you implying there was some sort of subterfuge when I registered a new account? I registered a new account '''after''' you lifted the ban (from the 789chan controversy) to avoid any more controversy with my old name on the forum.

I openly stated this right on your userpage under the topic "Permanent Ban". It's still there and was there ever since registered the new account. You must have known I was the same person I registered with the same name, same address, same birthdate and the same hyperlink to my webpage.
This was right on my profile. Surely you check your userpage on regular basis.

On second thought: If it makes you feel better thinking I conspired against you, go ahead and enjoy your forum -[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 10:55, 23 October 2012 (PDT)

== ban evasion? ==

I'm confused as to why I'm banned from the forum. I never tried to register another name or anything. I wasn't a trouble maker and never had to be warned.

== Forums are offline ==

It looks like something bad might have happened to them.[[User:CompyRex|CompyRex]] 18:11, 6 November 2012 (PST)

Hey, Champ. I have webspace, and I'm willing to take up hosting responsibilities for the forum. Let me know what you think. [[User:SushiHazard|SushiHazard]] 12:57, 7 November 2012 (PST)

== This shit ==

Hey, I know you're probably busy with the forums and all, but [[User:Reldnahc_C|this guy]] is uploading some [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg10.jpg|pretty]] [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg2.jpg|stupid]] [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg3.jpg|shit]]. Considering this isn't ED and all, just thought you should know about it. [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 20:46, 12 November 2012 (PST)

User:Silvana'sBottomBitch

2012-11-09T23:47:07Z

Giantgroundsloth: lol lern 2 english :/

Greetings, Slow-in-the-minds!

Somehow I was able to remain completely ignorant of Chris's retarded antics until November 2011 when the organised trolling had been in progress for the best part of three years. After a few hours browsing the CWCki I was shocked at just how much information has been collected on Chris. I mean is there anything this guy won't share?! At one point I found myself wondering if this site may have crossed the line. But then I realised that like most retards, Chris is without empathy and is very deserving of all the stress he's put through.

Looks like Chris has managed to dodge jail. I guess we'll have to wait 'til the next time he fucks up.

I can't belive a dog kennel allowed an obese pensioner and an autistic manchild to adopt two puppies. Animal adoption laws in the state of Virgina must be pretty lax.

If Chris mentions anything about being scolded for posting abusive comments on a blog, it was me who set him up. Don't worry, I didn't say anything too mean - or untrue - just a little something to get the owner wound up a little. I just prey the fat fuck still checks his email. XD

Yes I've read the article on A-Logging. I didn't realise this site was run by moralfags. What I did was not A-Logging. I don't hate Chris with an insane passion and want to see him punished, I just want to troll him a little. Neither am I a [[HippoOnYourHead|hippocrite]] who polutes the 'net with shitty fanfiction. Besides, Chris is paranoid and dosn't check his email anymore so nothing will probably come of this anyway. :P

Template:Video of the now

2012-11-06T18:50:17Z

Giantgroundsloth: Considering it's election day & all

<div style="text-align: center;">{{#ev:youtube|vOCHFe3PdiU}}
</div>
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Gun Comic

2012-11-06T00:07:35Z

Giantgroundsloth:

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f2pFBs9U0DE}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]
==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Gun Comic

2012-11-06T00:05:46Z

Giantgroundsloth:

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f2pFBs9U0DE}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]
==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Stress

2012-11-05T23:59:41Z

Giantgroundsloth: Funky pipe. This one makes more sense.

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[troll]]ed. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress".

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickles]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Father Call|Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homo|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos|homosexual]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having his identity [[CChanSonichuCWC|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Chan_Update_21_October_2008</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly racist<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Sports bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Template:DYK

2012-10-31T04:56:58Z

Giantgroundsloth: because of red link

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|0=
*...that Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
|1=
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wanted you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
|2=
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/210989/detail/ children's game]?
|3=
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lover's dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
|4=
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|5=
*...that [[Jerkief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|6=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
|7=
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
|8=
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
|9=
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
|10=
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's fail is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] kept four [[Rosechu]]s imprisoned in his basement?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
|11=
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|over one billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10_September_2009|trolling stupid]]"?
}}

<noinclude>
{{clear}}

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}

[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

Axe

2012-10-31T04:48:56Z

Giantgroundsloth: Is this really necessary? Chris isn't British and it's big and ugly and kill it.

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:AXE body spray.jpg|thumb|left|A can of AXE yesterday.]]
[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|thumb|Chris's self made ad from [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Proof that free advertising isn't always the best advertising.]]
{{quote|"For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to
attract...other dudes."|Chris, "Proud Straight Male AXE User"}}
{{quote|ALL AXE Body Hygene Products were advertised for Straight Men, therefore it was ALWAYS INTENDED for the Straight Man.|Chris, master of logic<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

'''Axe''' (also known as "'''Lynx'''" to our [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Britfag]] Christorians, pronounced "[[Speech Impediment|Ats]]" by Chris) is a body spray/deodorant that [[Chris]] douses himself in, as he fully believes that it will attract scores of beautiful women to him, as frequently advertised by Axe. The fact that the promised "Axe Effect" has failed to deliver him a TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]] after years of use has not dented his firm belief that the product, along with its various offshoot lines such as body wash, scrubber, and shampoo, will one day force women to over-ride their common sense and make passionate love to him eleven at a time with the help of a mass produced fragrance.

His comics also seem to suggest that he's under the impression that using the body spray is a suitable substitute for bathing.

==Axe and the [[Homos]]==

In the beginning of [[May 2009]], Chris was informed that Axe was very popular among men of a [[homos|certain demographic]]. The alarming news that, instead of attracting "[[Boyfriend-free girl|the ladies]]", wearing Axe may lead to being rogered roughly from behind in a dark alleyway lead Chris to record [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|two videos]] demanding that Unilever state clearly on the packaging that Axe is for "straight people only", and that the homos heed his call of "Stay Off Our AXE, you Homos!"

==Does it work?==

No. In reality, AXE does not attract women towards the user. Therefore, girls will never be attracted to Chris. (Not that they would be anyway.)

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:BILLYAXE.JPG|[[BILLY MAYS]] (RIP) really could sell ANYTHING.
Image:Chrisandaxe.jpg|Chris promotes his gay products
Image:Axe en español.jpg|Translated into [[Spanish]] for the convenience of [[homos|maricas]] everywhere.
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Chris and brand loyalty]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Axe (grooming product)|Wikipedia article on Axe]]

[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Chris and race

2012-10-27T04:30:38Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Native Americans */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|"Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned."]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos."

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin."<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he also said that meeting her was like having a [[Sailor Moon|''Pretty Girl Sailor Moon'']] character leap out of his television; a real Asian woman probably wouldn't be pleased to be imagined as animu wank fodder.

Chris also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang (sp?) of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris presents us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith, Jr|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable fail because true Cherokee wore vests and used only bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

In a Facebook post, Chris announced that the prostitute whom he hired to be his virgin-taker was part Cherokee, a fact from which he seemed to derive a disproportional amount of pleasure. <ref>http://www.sonichu.com/w/images/6/60/Virginbreaker.png</ref>

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although "Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have friends in the Ku Klux Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that some of his prejudices passed on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In [[2008]], Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob implied that he was a Ku Klux Klan member, and said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he may have just made these claims to intimidate [[troll]]s.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote", but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito a "nigger" in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue eyed but also blonde)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (Asian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "Sistas and brothas."

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Chris and race

2012-10-27T04:30:04Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Native Americans */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|"Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned."]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos."

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin."<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he also said that meeting her was like having a [[Sailor Moon|''Pretty Girl Sailor Moon'']] character leap out of his television; a real Asian woman probably wouldn't be pleased to be imagined as animu wank fodder.

Chris also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang (sp?) of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris presents us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith, Jr|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable fail because true Cherokee wore vests and used only bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

In a Facebook post, Chris announced that the prostitute whom he hired to be his virgin-taker was, in fact, part Cherokee, a fact from which he seemed to derive a disproportional amount of pleasure. <ref>http://www.sonichu.com/w/images/6/60/Virginbreaker.png</ref>

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although "Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have friends in the Ku Klux Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that some of his prejudices passed on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In [[2008]], Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob implied that he was a Ku Klux Klan member, and said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he may have just made these claims to intimidate [[troll]]s.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote", but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito a "nigger" in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue eyed but also blonde)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (Asian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "Sistas and brothas."

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

User:Giantgroundsloth

2012-10-27T04:09:52Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Did you know that you can start playing Filigree and Shadow by This Mortal Coil from any point and it will sync up with the Chris-Chan Sex Tape? I just tried it. Several times. Hilarity ensued.
*Truly this is a modern day Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon

Also, I'ma transcribe some shit, 'cause I'm awesome.

{{Collapsible|FUCK YEAH USERBOXES!|
{{JERK}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Observer}}
{{Scampers}}
{{JackThaddeus}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{Evan}}
{{Transcriber}}
}}

28 October 2011

2012-04-11T20:43:25Z

Giantgroundsloth:

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]
On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]].

On that fateful Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m.<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos</ref>, [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its [[manajerks|manager]], [[Michael Snyder]]. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]] in November. A bit of a delay, but it turns out, he and Barb had been [[jerkop|arrested]] and jailed for various offenses (trespassing, assault, and hit & run). Now both have been charged with a Class 5 Felony, which implies "a '''term of imprisonment of not less than one year''' nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref>

Both Chris and Barb were bonded out on 29 October<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref>, with Chris's initial hearing being a week later than Barb's - possibly owing to the extra charge against him. It may also allow for additional information to be gathered about on his record of dealings with Michael Snyder and the GAMe PLACe, and also to consider any [[autism|medical grounds]] that may affect the outcome of any court proceedings against Chris. The Chandlers will be represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.

This is the first major event that has come to light since the death of [[Bob Chandler]] on 6 [[September 2011]].

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information]. At present we do not have a full account of what happened during the incident and under what circumstances the charges were brought against the pair. However, based on at least one previous incident in [[June 2010]], we can assume a rough outline of events.

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - To be presented to the grand jury on both felony charges.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - To be presented to the grand jury on felony charge.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident.
The reason for the lawsuit and what damages are being sought is currently unknown besides that it is related to the 28 October event. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On April 5th, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Card.PNG|thumb|Chris's only chance.]]

* On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the CWCki, plastering them on the front page as well as Michael's own article, with Chris presumably doing it as a response to the events at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the respective image descriptions, Chris claimed that Snyder molests children and taunted him for his [[obesity]].
{{-}}

In the February Facebook leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colours other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the Game Place a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]], in which Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from the manbaby himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU

Particularly telling is Chris stating that Michael Snyder wanted to lure him in with an announcement of a "Pokemon tournament on the 22nd", despite Michael himself saying [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azjF90Q7JFA in this video] ''(that Chris himself used as proof)'' that he ''really'' hoped that Chris didn't show up.

== Photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan Art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Talk:Chris and religion

2012-01-29T05:02:20Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Is it necessary? */

==Do something about Romans==
It's a nice quote but it's too big. I tried incorporating it into the article but it didn't look very good, something should be done with it to make the quotes section a bit smaller. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 18:11, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

==To do==
*Chris's warped version of Christianity (homosexuality = bad, lesbianism = good, sex before marriage = okay).
*his twisted double standard of morality (anyone else lies = "vicious lies and slander", Chris outright lies = "half-truths"; also how Adam Stackhouse cheating = bad, Chris cheating = okay).
*God's influence on his dreams
*how Chris is guilty of all seven deadly sins

==God is a Troll==

If we assume God exists and it was God who talked to Chris could it be argued that God is trolling chris as well?

==Split==
I'll entertain the motion of splitting off GodJesus into its own page, since Chris has invoked God specifically in much of his work, which can be considered a separate thing to how Chris views religion, in addition to GodJesus being in the comic and a popular meme amongst trolls. We can document all the times Chris has invoked GodJesus in various media.

Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:07, 2 September 2009 (CEST)

I guess go on. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 11:11, 3 September 2009 (CEST)

That could actually be really funny, thinking about it. Go for it! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:36, 30 October 2009 (CET)

Sounds like a good plan. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 23:55, 3 December 2009 (CET)

I don't know why no-one ever followed through on this idea. I'd just like to say I support this if the topic is still open. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:41, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

==The Seven Deadly Sins==
The seven deadly sins aren't really 7 specific sins so much as seven categories that cover all sins. In other words, every wrongdoing is motivated, in one way or another By Greed, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Wrath, Gluttony, or Envy. So whether it's lying to save face (pride) raging against guys with girlfriends (Wrath, Lust, Envy) or basically anything else Chris does at all, it all goes back to one of the deadly sins.

That said, I doubt there's any need to actually include that in the article. Making this whole paragraph moot, I guess. whatever.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:38, 15 October 2009 (CEST)

:Apparently someone doesn't like the Seven Deadly sins portion of this page much at all. Does the article really need it? I mean, all it does it repeat the point that Chris wallows in wrongdoing. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:20, 19 November 2009 (CET)

::Eh, I vote we leave it in. They're a fundamental part of certain sects of Christianity, and it's an interesting analysis. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:01, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

===10 Commandments===
Now that's better. I'm half-tempted to delete the 7 deadly sins part completely now that we have this. To whoever wrote it, you're awesome. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:28, 11 December 2009 (CET)

Thanks. :^D [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 06:04, 11 December 2009 (CET)

In the "Honor thy father and thy mother": part of the 10 Commandments it says that Chris called his father a bastard once and links to "Bob Walks In Aftermath". Having read it though it sounds to me like he could have been calling the troll a bastard and not his father. Any thoughts? [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:32, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

===Levitical Laws===
Also, Saint Paul making a new Covenant; tehcnically, he doesn't have that authority, plus the mythology has Jesus saying in Mattew 5:17-19 http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/mt/5.html#17 that all Old Testament laws still apply.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:06, 21 November 2010 (PST)

==Possession?==

christfag here i believe chris might be possessed or demonically oppressed having cast demons out of people before he acts very similar to them [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 17:31, 20 November 2009 (CET)

of course if this is true and if some one at his church has half a brain and recognizes this expect the saga to be over very quickly
(this is just a theory after all) [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 17:36, 20 November 2009 (CET)

:I'm also a Christian, but I really don't think there's much evidence here for demonic possession. Chris strikes me as just a terrible person on the whole, not a terrible person the devil is controlling.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:56, 20 November 2009 (CET)

::The devil is wasting his time if he's controlling Chris. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:54, 20 November 2009 (CET)

but if he is truly born again then he can't be possessed only oppressed [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 15:32, 21 November 2009 (CET)

the only reason i started thinking about this was when in one of the many chats he mentions how he hears things like "chris is gay" [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 04:16, 22 November 2009 (CET)

:I think that's more a case of self-denial or possible schizophrenia. No need to insert something silly like "demonic possession". Of course, maybe I'm a little biased against the idea, being atheist, but the symptoms are also right in line with the possibilities I mentioned, and my suggestions are things we actually know to exist, rather than a (fairly archaic) religious mere. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:05, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

==Other Religions?==

Should we document Chris's opinions on religions other than his own? Unfortunately, there's not much to go by, save a few Mumble chats and recent mailbag responses, but he seems tolerant of other people's beliefs (although this could be attributed to his willing ignorance of everything outside Virginia). --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 00:00, 4 December 2009 (CET)

Thanks, Dkaien. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 21:35, 4 December 2009 (CET)
:*That's definitely going to be hard since Chris is unfamiliar with any non-Christian religion. Hell, he doesn't really know the difference between Catholics and Protestants. {{unsigned|AntonImausMk2}}

Chris said in [[Mailbag 21#In which Chris receives a letter from the son of God|the mailbag]] that he agrees with all of Fred Nile's views, and Fred Nile is apparently quite anti-Muslim. Make of that what you will. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 07:51, 21 December 2009 (CET)

== Source? ==

Has Chris ever actually been asked why he believes that there is pain and suffering if there is a loving God? The page suggests he has, but I can't find any source for it. --[[User:Mekka|Mekka]] 03:22, 15 December 2009 (CET)

== Reincarnation ==

[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from the doctor|Right here]].

Chris's religion is now basically just a mishmash of every faith he's ever heard of, with a good helping of shit he just plain made up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:20, 21 December 2009 (CET)

== Afterlife ==

So I wrote a little bit about Chris's stance on the hereafter, and how it really doesn't have anything in common with Christianity. I just kinda tacked it onto the end of GodJesus, because I couldn't really think of anywhere else it would fit properly.

Pretty much the entire idea of Christianity is that Jesus saves, and that it's impossible to save ourselves no matter how many good deeds we do. It's weird, considering he bases so much of his identity on it, but Chris really isn't a Christian at all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:26, 3 January 2010 (CET)

I think it's possible that he actually doesn't give a damn about Christianity; and that he follows it for his own personal gain. If he ignores most of what Christians believe, and how he's selfish as fuck when it comes to referencing GODJEBUS (Like that time he mentioned how God would send the trolls to hell if they didn't listen to him, for example) then I would assume that Chris really doesn't care much

Here's a thought: What if Christianity turned out to be right, and after he dies, Chris went to hell? Can you imagine his reaction? Oh the hilarity. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:41, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

I promise you he would say God is trolling him and then bore Satan with his comics. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 01:09, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

== Issue 10 page 48 ==

So, we have a hedgehog kneeling in prayer before some sort of altar, a stone rolling away from a tomb by itself, and hyper Sonichu, in a church window, assuming the pose Christ had when he died on the cross. Chris just made Jesus Christ an orange Homophobic hedgehog. I'll try and add this to the main article when I'm done raging, because honestly, this is blasphemy on levels I didn't think Chris was capable of.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
*I just saw this and... like they say: you think you've seen Chris hit the lowest, then he ends up outdoing himself.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:11, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
** The worst part is that that page is stained with something-or-other. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:08, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
** I added a bit about Sonichu's apparent new Messianic role, feel free to add/edit/delete if you think it sucks, as up to this point my edits have been mostly minor typo corrections [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 12:02, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
***You done good Magic8Ball. You done good.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:08, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

== Satanism Comparison? ==

Or would Chris the Shaman cover most of the satanic-like things he's done, especially that fucked up attempt to brainwash us into hating Asperchu instead of Sonichu? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 00:51, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Please remember that we are talking about Chris here. He's pulling tons of stuff out without a hint of afterthought. At worst, he will ask pardon to GosJesus and everything will be well since he's forgiven. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:19, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:::I think Chris the shaman covers it well enough. Also, the whole Backmasking thing was really more of a failed attempt at a subliminal message than a cry to Satan.
:::Of course, we should still call it a satanic message because that's funnier.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:15, 23 January 2010 (UTC)
::::Editing the Jackie e-mails right now, groups 16-17, Jackie makes multiple good points on how Chris is, in fact, exactly how a Satanist would act.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:02, 21 November 2010 (PST)

==Works or Faith==

To be accurate, the Bible is pretty contradictory on faith saving you alone or the works saving you, and many Christians believe the concept of faith alone to be Satanic. So maybe the Christians Chris is around believe that. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 22:35, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
:This is correct. "Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith" is nothing like true and only people like Jack Chick are crazy enough to take it to its logical conclusion (that it's fine and just for Eyebrows McRapington to confess and accept Jesus one second before he dies and go to heaven, while a man who spends his entire life being a perfect human being but doesn't accept Jesus gets tossed into a fiery pit). James 2 is all about how "faith without works is dead" and Rev 20:13 says that in the end the dead will be "judged every man according to their works." The apologists will say these are works ''of faith'', but that still means you have to actually do shit rather than just believe. Fact is, Paul (whose letters form a good chunk of the New Testament) believed salvation was by faith alone, James believed it was by faith and good works and John the Divine seems to have thought it was works alone.

:Granted, Chris' "works not faith" attitude doesn't apply to certain brands of Christianity, but there's plenty who share that belief; for example, because it deals with the thorny problem of almost everyone who has ever lived going to hell no matter how good they were as people. [[User:Ted Van Gruder|Ted Van Gruder]] 07:18, 22 January 2012 (PST)

==The phrase "GodJesus"==

Is [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|this]] the only time Chris has used it? Was it a one-off like [[niggo]] or [[pedofork]]?{{unsigned|Liquid!}}
*1) please sign your comments (it's four ~ in a row), 2) lots of things Chris says are one off, but they stick to trolls because they find them amusing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:32, 8 February 2010 (UTC)

== [[The Simpsons]] ==
An odd little coincidence here; I was watching a Simpsons haloween special recently. They're called Treehouse of Horror episodes. They do these non canonical horror stories. Theres one in particular that sees homer killing celebrities for money from advertisement firms. It makes more sense in context. Well it ends with the celebrities coming down from heaven and trying to kill Homer, and before they kill himm he asks what the one true faith is, to which Krusty the Klown replies 'Its a combination of [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|Voodoo]] and Methodist.' Worth mentioning or not? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:45, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:* I think it's pure coincidence. I have yet heard Chris call himself a Methodism or any relation with Voodoo. If he mention it in the future, the comment would be added. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:19, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
::*His current church is Methodist. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:44, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:::* Good, we are half-way there. At the second he mention Voodoo, the info will fit in the article. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:50, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*[[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|"Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled; and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals."]] --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 20:06, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::* Nice link but as long as Chris don't use the term "VooDoo" or make a direct allusion to the said scene, there's no ground to add it on the article. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:12, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

== Trinity vs. GodJesus ==

Trinitarianism refers to three personas in one being. The Father (Jehovah) is not the same as the Son (Jesus), but both are personas of God. Nor is the holy spirit the same as the Father or Son, but it too is a persona of God. In the past, when explaining the Trinity concept, I've drawn an analogy to one person with three user accounts on a computer. Chris's "GodJesus" could be thought of as not unlike the Trinity, except that the holy spirit isn't regarded as a persona. Am I right? --[[User:Tepples|Tepples]] 17:41, 19 June 2011 (PDT)

== Different approach? ==

Seems pretty pointless trying to interpret Chris's beliefs in terms of Christianity, or pointing out that his beliefs contradict Christianity, since we all know anyway that he just believes whatever he finds convenient or appealing at the time.

It makes more sense imo to just have this page as a reference on all his prejudices and beliefs concerning the various religions, as well as his interactions with their various institutions. Then we can treat his own religious beliefs as a separate beast, either at another page or a section in this page.

I'd be happy to do the work if this idea gets the thumbs up. --[[User:Corezzio|Corezzio]] 20:55, 20 June 2011 (PDT)
*The thing is, Chris claims to be a devout Christian and frequently invokes Christianity for various reasons. This is more "Chris and ''his'' religion" than Chris and religion in general. I think with any "Chris and" article, it needs to be considered a possible subsection of the [[Christian Weston Chandler]] page - that is, this could easily be one, very large section of that article, but obviously we have a separate page so we can go more in-depth. But if it was part of that page, then we'd be focusing on Chris and his religion, would we not? Someone who would be reading that article would try to get an understanding of Chris's religion, which I think is rightly the focus of this article. In other words, people reading the article will want to know "What are Chris's religious beliefs?" rather than "How has Chris interacted with organized religions?" The former gives us some worldview behind Chris's thought process, the later is more sperg fodder (and I avoid using the term - not to say that one is a sperg if they want to know how Chris has interacted with other religions, merely that one is more likely interested in someone's beliefs that are religious rather than opinions on religious institutions).

:Yes, Chris's beliefs are self serving in many ways but he identifies with Christianity and I think it makes sense to use that as a lens for the page. Furthermore, we have more documentation of him interacting with Christianity than other religions, so that's another reason why Christianity is so predominant.

:Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you had in mind but these are my thoughts based on what I think you're getting at.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:11, 21 June 2011 (PDT)

==Is it necessary?==
I was considering adding Dante Alighieri's circles of hell. But a huge part of the article is listing Chris' sins. Would it be beating a dead horse to do it? Especially since seven of the circles are essentially the seven deadly sins.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 08:48, 10 July 2011 (PDT)
:Sounds unnecessary to me. You'd just be repeating the seven deadly sins part and Inferno was just Bible fanfiction anyway. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:52, 10 July 2011 (PDT)
:It has potential. However, I don't really think that he's guilty of treachery (9th Circle) [[User:Hater665511|Hater665511]] 12:39, 19 January 2012 (PST)
:*he has been guilty of treachery with several of his sweethearts. promising his virginity to more than one at a time is one example
:*Yes, but almost all the treachery in the inferno lead to someone getting killed. Chris, to my knowledge, hasn't done that. [[User:Hater665511|Hater665511]] 14:24, 19 January 2012 (PST)
::*I have to agree with Old Meme, this is probably not necessary to the article. Though I would like to point out that Chris's "treachery" lead to the death of Ivy; just saying. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:29, 24 January 2012 (PST)
:This page has enough irrelevant sperging about Chris's sins as it is. I personally think that anything beyond the ten commandments section was pushing it, and they were actually IN the bible. I don't see any need to pointlessly extend this page further. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:55, 24 January 2012 (PST)
*Not to be a dick, but the Seven Deadly Sins aren't technically in the bible. It's a Catholic thing, and Chris is Protestant, so I don't think that that nor the part about the Seven Heavenly Virtues is necessary. One man's opinion. Love, [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 21:02, 28 January 2012 (PST)

Take that Page DOWN NOW!

2012-01-29T04:54:26Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Transcript */

'''Take that Page DOWN NOW!''' is a [[YouTube]] video posted by [[Chris]] on 30 [[March 2009]], in which he demands that his [[ED]] page be taken down. Later, Chris takes the video down, and updates a longer version, with added footage of him growling at the camera and making threats to [[Clyde Cash]].
==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Take that Page DOWN NOW!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|X02mQycxqSw}}
| stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora#Watch|Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]
| next = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Director.27s_Cut|Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Just a major up—just a small update. Well, I just wanted to, uh, ask a small favor. You know what would ''really'' inspire me to continue doing the comics? I tell you what--[''removes glasses, grows more stern'']--you take down that ED page forever. Take it down. It and al—everything about it, including the, the discussion pages. Everything. Delete it.

[''sighs''] Because you don't--because that thing has been bothering me for so ma—for that long time. And you know how the expression "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" Well, call it—this was "too many ''crooks''." Too many ''crooks''! Too many ''crooks''! And that ED page is one of those crooks. [[Chris and English|Every page--every word on the discussion page is a crook.]]

Mmmm! It just makes me really [''tries to flex nonexistent muscles''] ''angry''! Nnngh, nngh! Nnnngh! You know how it makes me angry?

[''reaches off camera; after jump cut, picks up the [[Clown Doll]] with picture taped to it'']

This is Clyde.

[''jump cut to Chris holding doll in left hand and making fist with right'']

And ''this'' is how angry I am for every waking moment that that ED page is up. [''repeatedly punches the doll'']

[''reaches down to retrieve picture, rips it in half''] NNNGH!

[''looks into camera, sneering''] You want me to calm down? [[Chris and anger|YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?]] You want me to draw the comics? YOU TAKE DOWN THAT ED PAGE! [''picks up piece of picture, puts it back on doll''] Or Clyde is—BAM! [''resumes punching his clown'']

==Director's Cut==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KYATxB7NXAY}}
| stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Video|Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
| next = [[Secret Weapon#Video|Secret Weapon]]
}}

{{quote|I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT...AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!}}

=== Transcript ===

[''jump cut, apparently later in the day; Chris is tensing is arms and either hulking up or trying to fart''] Ngh...EEENNNNRRRRGGHHHH!!!

[''picks up doll again, tries to tear its head off, fails''] EENNGH—GGH!

[''begins beating it more savagely''] NGH! NGH! [''throws it to ground, reaches down to <s>rape</s> pound on it''] NGH! NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH!

[''pops back up to give a primal growl''] ERRRNNNRGGGHH! URRRGH! RRRGH-HAAAGHH! EERGHHAAGHH!

[''gives [[Claw of Fail]] as he stares off into space, talking like the Ultimate Warrior''] '''CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME? [[Death threats|YOU ARE ''DEAAAD''!]] YOU ARE ''DEAD''!''' [''hiccups''] '''YOU ARE DEAD! AND SO IS THAT PAGE! RRARRGGH--'''[''hic'']'''--RRRGGHH!!''' [''snorts''] '''EEEEENNRRRHHH!''' [''begins smacking his fist into his palm'']

[''jump cut; Christian is speaking normally again'']

Mmm! You despi—you are so despicable, Clyde! I am going to BEAT your lights out! [''performs Claw of Fail again'']I am going to DRAG you right in front of EVERYONE if we ever meet in public! [[South Park|I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT--[''Ultimate Warrior voice'']--'''AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!]] NNNGHHGGGHH!'''

[''throws something into his camera, obscuring it'']

{{RageQuote|'''''NNNAGGHHHH!!!'''''}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Ultimate Attack
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cwe-1Ejl5FU}}
| stardate = 31 [[March 2009]]
| maker = Trowelhands
| subject =
| type = }}

==See also==
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmTvwy7Emgs Reversed]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]|nextlink=[[Secret Weapon]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-30]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-30]]

Kacey Call 18

2012-01-29T03:56:56Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Part 1 */

==Highlights==

*[[Kacey]] prepared a list of questions for [[Chris]] for an essay she's writing.
*Chris states basic things like where he lives, his age, birthday, relatives, height etc.
*Chris struggles to remember the most basic facts about his family members including hair color, height and age.
*Above Chris's "left breast", he has a scar from a bike accident.
*Kacey tells Chris to go to the doctor.
*Chris thinks that [[Gregg Mays]] is [[Clyde Cash]], who died and came back from the dead under a new name. But really Gregg Mays killed Clyde and is pretending to by Clyde.
*Chris doesn't believe that [[Ryan Cash]] killed himself.
*Chris says the real reason that Clyde Cash [[trolls]] him is because Clyde is a [[homosexual]].
*Clyde tried to make Chris make a video of [[Sonic]] and Tails toys going on a homosexual date.
*The idea that Clyde is straight makes Chris [[stress sigh]].
*Chris claims that his passwords are complicated so Clyde must be a good hacker.
*Chris says that his last password was: "J04nE1de4R08i2on", which is an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Elder_Robison author's name] (incidentally, one with [[Asperger syndrome|aspergers]]). Kacey says this is leet speak, and Chris says that he's never heard that term before.
*Chris talked to Clyde earlier in the day. Clyde claimed that he tampered with Chris's [[PS3]].
*Chris turns his PS3 off and unplugs it when he is not using it, so Clyde can't hack into it to get his password.
*Kacey says that Chris should just break his PS3 so Clyde will stop bothering him. Chris claims that he can't break his PS3 because he has a PSP and that would break his [[PSP]] too.
*Chris says that video games are not the most important thing in his life, as finding a sweetheart in real life is.
*Chris has an interview next week at [[Target]].
*Chris says that he has tricked Clyde into not hacking him anymore by telling him that he doesn't care about his PS3 anymore; Kacey suggests making a video of pretending to give away his PS3 or throwing it in the trash. This idea makes Chris stress sigh.
*"When I say I am going to think about it, it means I am going to do it" -Chris, regarding stress sighing and saying he's working on it.
*Clyde told Chris to unscrew the system and to take out a battery so he can't be hacked anymore.
*Kim's boyfriend Logan told Chris that this is a safe thing to do.
*Kacey eventually gets Chris to say he will open his PS3 and remove the battery.
*Chris made an appointment with the doctor to talk about heart pains.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 18 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|zqe4tA2JEec}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 17]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>
[Recording Begins]
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey it's Kacey, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just, you know, a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a little tired from the day
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [laughs] we both said yeah at the same time.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway I got you survey printed out. I can answer your questions for you now if you want me to. Or would you rather I send that back to you in text over the emails.
 '''Kacey:''' You can do both, it doesn't matter. If you want to do that I can get them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus you can write down the answers as I tell them to you right now, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah go ahead
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright well I'm 27 years old
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [sound of typing]
 '''Chris:''' I was born on February 21st, 1992
 '''Kacey:''' You said 1992, you mean 82 right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, 1982
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] okay
 '''Chris:''' Alright, and I live in the United States and my state area prefecture of birth would be Charlottesville, Virginia
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, [typing] so you've been there all your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I've been in Virginia all my life. Ah so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah that's all I need, that's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay I have two half brothers and one half-sister.
 '''Kacey:''' [typing] Their ages?
 '''Chris:''' Last time I checked, I think my half-brother is Allan is like 42
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' I think Cole- I think my half-brother Cole is like, uh, I don't know, 38 or 40, and I think Carol is like 37 I'm just guessing off the top of my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay that's fine [computer tone]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and uh let's see, you know, my father's 82 so take away 27 from his age, um, 62… He was like 55 and my mother will be 58 this year so, let's see, take away 20… um… Yeah take away 20… 48, and she was 41, so 55 and 41 respectively for my father and mother.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and I'm currently 5'10”.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm, I'm not sure if I'm the shortest or the tallest. I think Cole and Allan are a little bit taller than me the last time I was, you know, last time I was with them I was a little bit shorter than them. Mmm, and Carol might be shorter than me I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I'll put middle then.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mm'kay. And you know my eye color, one green and one blue, though they were originally blue, both of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay then, I'm going to put blue because it has to be genetic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I'm not sure about siblings sharing the same eye color.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Ah, yeah I'm right handed, and I'm pretty sure my siblings are right handed too.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I'm brown haired so are Cole and Allan, and I believe Carol was a blonde.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [typing]
 '''Chris:''' Alright and the fine markings [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Also before you get into that, were your half-brothers and your half sisters on your mom's side or your dad's side because that's important.
 '''Chris:''' Okay Allan and Carol were on my father's side. Joseph Cole Smithy was on my Mother's side.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, and no defining markings? Okay then that's all I need.
 '''Chris:''' No wait a minute, I do have a defining marking.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [breathing sound]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, on my chest above my left breast [laughs] above my left breast. There's this oval shaped, badge-like scar that I got from a bicycle accident when I was like five to seven years old.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that's not genetic so I don't need that, but thank you [coughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean you said, you know if it's scarring or marking related to include that-
 '''Kacey:''' But it has to be genetically related, a bicycle accident isn't genetic, but thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that pretty much covers it then.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay thank you [laughs] I appreciate it. I need to get a lot more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean that was all the questions you had in the email so far.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I need to get a lot more people to do it, I need like forty people per time zone.
 '''Chris:''' Forty people per time zone?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Wow, there are a lot of time zones.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah for America, everything else you have to do by country. But, if you had an accident doing a bike before maybe you should ride bikes instead of jogging that would help a lot and get your heart rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, okay
 '''Kacey:''' By the way, did you get those emails about heart rate?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got your email about heart rate, I haven't listened to that yet but I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I was kind of busy between today and yesterday, because this fella who calls himself Gregg Mays, but I'm pretty sure it's also Clyde Cash because he called me-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought he was dead.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I thought so too, but he decided to come back by a different name of Gregg Mays, I also recognized him as such-
 '''Kacey:''' How could someone come back from the dead Chris, what is he like a zombie or something?
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know. This guy was assuming a different- This guy was [pause] Okay it's like this, aside from his original name, whatever it was, he was going by a different name.
 '''Kacey:''' But he was dead, so he's a zombie.
 '''Chris:''' No, I mean this guy was pretending to be Clyde Cash, it's like he could kill the pretend person and still be alive himself. Like say-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, so you thinking this guy killed the guy and is pretended to be him, who would be a zombie?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me give you an example. Let's say I was going around pretending to be Christopher, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' You mean my Chris? You couldn't do that, no way (laughs).
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. Anyway I'm just doing this by a name basis only. But anyway, let's say I was going around the internet picking on this guy who- and I keep telling them my name is Christopher.
 '''Kacey:''' But you do tell everyone that your name is Christopher.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me change- let me start over then. Okay, let's pretend that I was going around the internet calling myself Dick, alright? Dick. And I was bugging on this guy, bullying him, and then he decides to stand up against me and take down my source of anger against him, and then it's like, “Oh my God okay, I'm going to go kill myself.” So Dick kills himself, and is dead. But that doesn't mean that I, Christian am dead, it's just the character of Dick is dead.
 '''Kacey:''' So the guy kills himself, and he's dead, and he comes back as a zombie. Okay I got it, he must have like, the T-Virus or something.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no he did not really kill himself, he just killed the character.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how did he kill the character? That's just crazy! So it's a character-zombie, okay!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] It's a- Okay, you know characters are made it. It's not necessarily the person that did it-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, how could the character be dead if it's made up?
 '''Chris:''' Okay you know the guy that plays House on House? His name is not really-
 '''Kacey:''' That's an actor
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know that's an actor yeah. That's what I've been talking about, this guy was an actor.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would an actor be doing this, that doesn't make sense. Was he getting paid or something?
 '''Chris:''' No, he's not a real actor. He was just acting in his self-proclaimed role as Clyde Cash. And then, it's like in the show he kills- it's like the character Clyde Cash is dead, but the actor for real is still alive.
 '''Kacey:''' But why would an actor be messing with you? So you think this Clyde Cash person is not Clyde Cash. But he made Clyde Cash dead, and now Clyde Cash is back, therefore the character-zombie. And now he works on House, I got it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] No, no, no. The guy who was Clyde Cash, is now pretending to be Gregg Mays. I also recognized the email address. The very same email address that Clyde Cash used those months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well if it's still the same email address then he's pretending to be the same person right? Therefore [sound break] a zombie! [laughs] I mean, just tell him he's a zombie. Be like, “no you're not a zombie.”
 '''Chris:''' Uh no he's-
 '''Kacey:''' People don't come back from the dead, they just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- [stress sigh] Jeez. I mean, come on, in reality this guy is by a whole different name. We're not sure what his real identity is. And he's been fooling around chasing me- and he was chasing me around the internet claiming to be going by the name Clyde Cash. And then, he claims that he's going to kill- he claims that Clyde Cash is going to kill himself. So the character dies, but the actor is still alive, and now the actor returns and goes by a different character of Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh so he's like Carmen Sandiego he goes everywhere and he has disguises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah aliases, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, why would you think he would come back if he killed himself, or the character-zombie off. That doesn't make sense, why would he come back. And why would you think he's a character anyway. Maybe this guy is real…and undead.
 '''Chris:''' I know the person, the guy is real. But he was pretending to be-
 '''Kacey:''' But maybe he really is this Clyde Cash though, that's what I don't get. People don't just do that, they don't pretend to be different people. Why is he after you anyway? What did you do to him?
 '''Chris:''' I have done nothing to him. I did not know him, until a whole big number of months- like a number of months ago, and then he hacked into my web-hosting site starting with my original Tripod site and then-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there has to be a reason. What happened? He's got to be a reason for this vendetta.
 '''Chris:''' I have no idea. I never knew the guy personally.
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing happened to him that would make him angry at you? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I don't-
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't sound right. Did you ever hurt his feelings, or maybe it was through somebody else that knows him that you know?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] He's-
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way a random person would just pretend this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, I know. Okay, yeah. Supposedly Clyde Cash's story for him trolling me was that supposedly he quote-unquote brother, Ryan Cash, committed suicide, after the one-time threat, after I found the ED Page, and I was like, “That's it, I'm not drawing anymore comics.” Then supposedly Ryan killed himself, suicide, because of my little hint there. But then, I did continue on into the comics.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but then you have to own up to those consequences of your actions. This guy is probably real then. I know I'd be really upset if one of my siblings killed themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah [stress sigh] I did apologize, and I felt sorry for-
 '''Kacey:''' Was it a very heartfelt apology?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But he still trolls me-
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe it wasn't enough if he's still after you. I don't think this is an act, or something--

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 18 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|DnRp6jwsKCo}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 19]]
}} </Center>
 '''Kacey:''' It's not a game, there's no zombies.
 '''Chris:''' The only other instinct that he might have against me is because he's an obvious homosexual.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, what does that have to do with anything?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not particularly fond of homosexual dudes. I think we've been over that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but how do you think he's gay? How is it obvious? Has he hit on you? Have you seen him having gay sex?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] No I don't have visual proof, but he just sounds-
 '''Kacey:''' Then he's probably not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, unless he's come on to you, or you've seen him, he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually I can tell you this. In his recent threat, after he stole my Playstation Network account the first time, day before yesterday, he wanted me to make a video of my Sonic and Tails plush dolls going on a homosexual date and having homosexual sex.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he would just be doing that to bother you because he knows how much you hate gay people. I don't think a gay person would do that, in fact that sounds like something a straight guy would do because they think it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' A gay person wouldn't think that's funny because it's too close to them. That's really proof he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' Gay people don't act like that
 '''Chris:''' Well, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' He's probably 100% straight-
 '''Chris:''' (Sigh) well
 '''Kacey:''' -and a T-Virus zombie.
 '''Chris:''' Look forget the word zombie right now okay?
 '''Kacey:''' [Laughs] But, that's what it sounds like right now, I mean, it's a joke.
 '''Chris:''' That's what it may sound like but that is not the case, I mean, yeah Kim can tell you a lot more about Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays when y'all talk next time. Mmm but anyway, yeah, I did not follow up on his- like, as if I'm going to do that. Anyway, then I called Sony and got my account back, 5:30 pm. Thursday? Wednesday? It's Friday now, yeah, Wednesday. I got it back 5:30 Wednesday. I changed the password and the email address. But then, somehow, and I had not even told anybody my new email address and the password [voice gets high-pitched] and at 11:30 he get's into my main Playstation account again!
 '''Kacey:''' Well if he's done it before, he's probably really good at it. He probably doesn't need anything to go on, he's probably just some super-hacker. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] Anyway, yesterday afternoon I called Sony and told them about this guy hacking into my account again and they're like, “Okay well, since you backed up will changed you Sonichu ID back and get you a temporary password and put your account on hold, on suspension, and our crack team will investigate this guy further, and see how he was able to get into your account.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you make it an easy password and login?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Kacey:''' Do you make it easy for someone to figure out? Some people say never make your passwords birthdates or the word “God” or something. Is it easy? Do you use the same password over and over?
 '''Chris:''' Actually no, my password is very complicated. Okay, well I'll tell it to you since it's already used up at this point. The last password I used was capital J, zero, four, lower case N, capital E, one, lower case D, E, four, capital R, zero-eight, lower case I, two, lower case O, N. [J04nE1de4R08i2on]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, um. So that's just a random string of words, how do you remember that?
 '''Chris:''' Actually in this case, this was an author's name. I take his name and change some of his letters to numbers. You know, three can look like M, or N's, E or W.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, well. Maybe he's cracked that code. If you use that a lot he knows what it is. I hate leet speak, it's so stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak?
 '''Kacey:''' Leet speak, that's what it's called when you change letters into numbers like that.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak? I've never heard of that before. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. I often like to spell words backwards, and say them backwards like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should look it up. But still, maybe he's just cracked your code. He's probably really good at what he does.
 '''Chris:''' Actually I talked- Actually while I was waiting for Kim, I picked up on him calling me twice tonight. I also talked to him the night before a little bit. He said that he supposedly tampered with my PS3. I mean other than- I mean, I'm not sure how he could do that.
 '''Kacey:''' He could! I mean, there's tons of ways for people to do stuff like that. You should probably listen to him. If he's done it before he's going to do it again.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Especially with all the times you download stuff to your PSN, yeah he could probably do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, well anyway I currently have my Playstation 3 turned off and unplugged so he cannot get to the new passwords and email addresses from my other accounts aside from the named one. Anyway, aside from that-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he'll break it or something, but then this would all be over and then it wouldn't matter right?
 '''Chris:''' Maybe he'll break it?
 '''Kacey:''' Why not if he can mess with it further? Maybe you should just give up on it. Obviously this guy is going to be after you, is it really worth it?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well I'm not going to give up on my PSN on that note you know, someone will help me-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just videogames.
 '''Chris:''' -my main account back. Yeah, but still so much I could be able to do only when I have access to my account. Like, you cannot be logged off your Playstation Network Account and copy your PS1 classic or PSP games to the PSP, or even the videos you download through the Playstation Network you have to be logged into the Playstation Network in order to copy the videos and those games to the-
 '''Kacey:''' But still, videogames. I mean, it's not going to be a huge loss.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm
 '''Kacey:''' If you make them so important, of course he's going to go for those. He's probably going after the most important thing in your life right now, which would be videogames.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, uh yeah, as if that's the most important thing in my life- I mean most important thing in my life right now is going out in real life and trying to find myself a woman to be sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... That's not a goal that should be your priority. That's- especially if you hadn't spent most of your time playing videogames you might have been successful by now. But still, your priority should be getting a job and getting out of the house and I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately-
 '''Kacey:''' -Keeping your promises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately I am on the verge of getting a job you know, I got my interview next Tuesday at Target.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well good luck on that. But, I don't know, maybe you should just let it go.
 '''Chris:''' You're still talking about the videogames aren't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah especially if you have all this going for you now, you probably should just be like, make him think you don't care.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I pretty much given him that impression at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' Plus it probably would make you a lot more appealing if you really want a girlfriend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I should know, I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. But anyway, maybe he'll back off a little bit now on that note. Especially since-
 '''Kacey:''' Well he's not going to if you make it such a big deal, and you keep going after it. You're seriously just going to have to be like, “You know what? Fine, I don't need it anymore.” It's how those psychos think.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm…
 '''Kacey:''' He's going to know you want it back if you keep trying. You're going to have to trick him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I am tricking him right now, I mean a little bit. When he called-
 '''Kacey:''' No you're not you're worrying over it. You want to get it back. You're going to have to be serious and say, “I don't care anymore.”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I did tell him that, yeah. I did tell him that.
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video of you throwing it away or something- giving it away. Just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Obviously he's watching you and following you.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' You've got to give him a direct message. You've got to outsmart him. You're smart, you can do it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah I mean, I don't want to have to give it away for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then he's just going to keep doing this, and you're basically asking him to do it. That's the point of the video though, to just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Maybe he'll take it at face value. It's worth a shot.
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, I'll think about it. I will think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should do it. Because when you say, “I'll think about it,” It means you're not going to do it.
 '''Chris:''' No, when I say, “I'll think about it,” It means I'll think about it, and then I am likely to do it. I mean, I told you I thought about the exercise and sorry, it's just- I thought about calling the doctor and I called the-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you need to shake this guy, because obviously he's mentally imbalanced. I would do anything I can to get rid of him. Especially if he has anything to do with your PS3 being bugged or something. I'd be like, “Screw this, I don't need this anymore.” I mean he's probably already heard it by now.”
 '''Chris:''' He's probably already heard it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if he's done something to it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well anyway, he also told me something else, I should take it apart and remove the battery that's by the Blu-ray Drive, and then that will do something to the mod chip and then put the battery back it. It's not like I'm going to listen to him like that, I'd only do it if Sony suggested I do it. Or like, I need a professional like Kim's boyfriend Logan. She confirms to me that he knows pretty much about that so you know, I told her to ask him that for me about what will happen if I remove the battery from the Blu-Ray drive area there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe you should do it. If he's really got something in your PS3 he's not just doing it for fun. You probably should listen to him. It couldn't hurt to just look.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I'm not sure, I mean- If I remove the battery it might wipe out my user list on my PS3.
 '''Kacey:''' No it won't it's just the battery! Batteries don't hold memory or information, what?
 '''Chris:''' It's like if you remove the battery from a clock radio, a digital clock radio okay? That's like an internal battery and then the power goes out-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not a computer, that's different. I can remove my hard drive from my computer and none of my stuff is going to be erased.
 '''Chris:''' Alright
 '''Kacey:''' It's made to hold that memory. It's not going to hurt it. It's not a clock radio, I think it's a little more advanced than that. I mean, I thought you were good at electronics.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am fairly good at electronics, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should know something so basic.
 '''Chris:''' Well I just didn't know for sure about what he's saying here.
 '''Kacey:''' No it should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' Haven't you replaced any hard drives before in anything?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing gets erased.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, I have replaced the hard drive in my PS3 drive twice, from the original-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Alright I'll do it, I'll take it apart and look for the battery, and remove it and then put it back in. I mean, after we finish up this conversation here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Mm'kay
 '''Kacey:''' Alright I might be late tomorrow because I close, but I'll talk to you later.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well also I'll just let you know I called up the doctor's (?) office earlier today and I made an appointment to see him this morning at 10:45 or 10:30 I forget which one. Anyway talking about my chest- talking about my heart pains.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, heart pain?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, didn't you and Kim talk about this? She told you had talked about this.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah okay I remember.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna go see him about that this morning. Mm'kay. Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow, you take care okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well if you're having heart pains over this, that's a good reason to get rid of this shit. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, just feel better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, bye
 '''Chris:''' bye-bye

[recording ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?c29bsshpf7ccuiy mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 23

2012-01-29T03:55:16Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Just a brief overview until transcriptions are complete.

File Name: kc92909.mp3

*Chris has given up on his job at Target - he never received a phone call back.
*[[Chris]] is simply ignoring e-mails based on their subjects.
*Chris got the [[copyright]] for [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey pushes Chris to stop ignoring Clyde "just in case he tries something."
*Chris says that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Gregg Mays]] are the same person and they don't exist because he won't "show his face or identity or anything."
*Chris says that Clyde Cash is '''AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT!'''. He admits several times that he thinks it's possible a '''"six to eleven year old"''' is smarter than him.
*Kacey calls Chris "[[slow in the mind]]," Chris tells her she's "pushin' buttons."
*Chris says that Clyde's voice is high pitched and whiny. Oh boy.
*Chris spends like 3 minutes trying to do an impression of Clyde and it ends up just sounding exactly like Chris's normal voice except a bit deeper. He tries several times - each attempt sounds the exact same.
*Chris explains how [[Panda]] was raped by Clyde, and he just ignored it. Kacey mentions that rape is serious and shouldn't be ignored - Chris completely ignores this, and goes on to talk about how she died in a brush fire.
*Kacey tells Chris to recruit trolls to help take down Clyde. Chris says he is going to go to ED and dox Clyde, entirely expecting Clyde to have just openly posted all his personal info on the ED forums for all to see.
*Chris attempts a Donald Duck impression. It sounds like complete shit and nothing like Donald Duck.
*Chris says he actually thinks his regular voice sounds like Frank Sinatra.

==Transcript==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 23 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|bKXpa8PzpZI}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 22]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. Just busy. You know, work's keeping me late.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand, and you know- 'cause, you know, you can call us and I saw in the store(?) you were busy.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I've got a lot of projects and I'm kinda behind in school and I want to NOT be behind, you know. Um. So how have things been for you?
 '''Chris:''' I've been doing fair... I mean, you know, things could be better if I didn't have to worry about the trolls, but... You know...
 '''Kacey:''' What are they doing?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, just trying to get on my nerves... but lately I've been, uh, handling the situation much better. I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's good! That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, let's see, aside from that, um... Yeah, I've been- I've been- been... I've been pushing myself a little further, jogging a little bit longer.
 '''Kacey:''' [''coughs''] That's good.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... And I still haven't heard back from Target, so that's probably a no-go, but the other thing is a new CVS in Ruckersville and I'll probably apply to that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh you should! I mean, I wouldn't give up on it, though. So, um, how is your copyright coming?
 '''Chris:''' Oh... Yeah, I have, I've called the copyright office and I, uh, I got back access to my account and, ah, it's all good. The copyright is mine.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Well that... that's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I read somethin' on the internet about this, ah, about this image that, uh, Greg May, uh, Greg Mays slash Clyde Cash, you know, that like, he, uh, it's about like, this, uh, this image about like, supposedly about him having the copyright, but that document is false. I think-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting, talking right over Chris the whole time which he doesn't even seem to notice''] Well, yeah, because obviously you have the papers now, right?
 '''Chris:''' I don't have the papers yet, I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then how do you know it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Beca- because I called the copyright office and t-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, it's not going to help until you actually have the papers. You need proof. It's like saying you have a diploma but you ''don't'' have a diploma with you. I mean, you're gonna have to get those papers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I know, I won't get the, uh, document for... for a few more weeks.
 '''Kacey:''' They should send them right away. You should ask them to rush it. I mean, I know they'll do it... if it's really yours.
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Especially since it's...
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Y-yeah, yeah, yeah, y-yeah, I, yeah, I, I asked them if they could rush it but, uh, they said 'no, they couldn't,' they have to do it at their own timely pace. So, I was like, you know, I didn't ar-argue. I didn't want to argue with them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, this troll could do a lot of damage, you need to rush it. I mean, I've seen these things take months, really, but... I mean, if you say so.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's - don't worry about that. It's a- it's all good. I'm still working on the comic pages.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know there's one thing you aren't working on, because I saw your video. Your room looks like it got ''messier.'' I thought you said you were going to work on taking things down and doing that for me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, that's only the, uh, one side of the room, and... you saw that side of the room in the last picture, a-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, you haven't given me any more pictures like you promised me or anything, and I mean it looks... bad.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, well, I'll-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you... you said that you were going to get this done like weeks ago. And... it's not even half way done.
 '''Chris:''' It is mostly done, believe me. I'll send you some pictures tomorrow, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I hope that they're promising.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sounding annoyed''] They are, okay? They are. Yeah, well, aside from that, anything going on with you, lately?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... no, I've just been going to class and everything. I've been trying to hang out with my friends more, get a little more social because I just fell, you know, totally overwhelmed. Um, I'm pretty much doing what you're doing and ignoring all the trolls an... you know, just not really caring. They're not worth my time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear that. I hear that. Anyway. My plans for tomorrow are go to class... I've got another yoga class tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure I pronounced that right.
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] But I mean, like... you really don't read the e-mails at all? I mean, sometimes I do just, you know, for a good laugh. And I mean, sometimes, you know, I am paranoid that... you know, because these people, they mean business. I am kind of worried that sometimes I'll miss something, and they'll actually do something. I mean, I don't wanna ignore problems, either.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know, can pretty much judge what they're gonna say in the e-mail, but, by reading subjects. [''pause''] And like, you know, if the subject just is like, you know, don't really... don't really care about that stuff. Yeah, so I just assum- leave that closed.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know, but, Cameron and I talked about how you need to take your problems head on. Like, I told you, you don't need to ''really'' let them get to you, but you can't ignore them outright totally, either.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I-I that's what I do mostly. After they realize they can call Greg Mays or Clyde Cash out, you know, because he's sent one identity of Clyde Cash, and assumed the identity of Greg Mays, and you know, neither of them were- neither of them were- neither of them really existed, really.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I know it's the same person. Assuming different identities, and both of them are obviously fake, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then, what's his real name?
 '''Chris:''' Wha- he's never actually showed hims- he's never actually showed... his face or his identity or anything-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well... most people don't do that, but I mean, if you had his real name you could force him to apologize. I mean, turn the tables on him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I... that's why... the one thing I don't have is real name. So I can't really do that, now can I? But still, I call him out, I- I- I challenged him...
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, do some research. I mean, you can at least try.
 '''Chris:''' I did try, I... I searched the names Greg Mays and Clyde Cash and I didn't get much.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I don't know how much research you are going to do because, uh, Kim and I were... talking about this, you know, and, she was saying how, um... you haven't read the entirety of the ED page, yet you say it's all lies and slanders... and then you turn around and say that there is truth to it. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, I talked to Kim about that and I'm planning on... and I'm reading on... through the, uh, texts, on-only the texts on the ED page. And I'm... I'm gonna print them out and I'm gonna add them, and then- so I can, so I can sort out the, uh, ''facts'' from the fiction.
 '''Kacey:''' Right. Well, maybe you should look more closely at these e-mails. Especially, I mean, if this guy has been bothering you so much that he seems to be able to get to you, and he has connections, you should probably, um, make sure. I mean, maybe he made a mistake. Maybe... he... left a clue to his identity. If he's hacked you before maybe you should totally like, at least listen to him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried that, I m-
 '''Kacey:'''[''interrupting''] Well, I mean if you just ignore him, what if he does something way bigger?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean... yeah, you know, I don't know if I've told you, but, you know, when he- when he, first time he hacked into my Playstation Network account, a couple of d- a few weeks ago, a couple weeks ago... I got an address, but it turned out to be an elementary school in, I think it was... Kentucky.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe he works there!
 '''Chris:''' ...or maybe he's a student there.
 '''Kacey:''' ...an elementary school. You're telling me you were fooled by an elementary school student over and over again?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... it's a possibility.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he's a teacher! You really think that an elementary schooler has gotten the best of you? Over and over?
 '''Chris:''' [''short pause''] ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he's probably a teacher. [''laughs''] Because if not, you're telling me that some six year old... to... eleven year old has outsmarted you when you're twenty-seven several times. Think... think about that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I have considered that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how does that make you feel? This... little... kid that hasn't even hit puberty can outsmart you so many times.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'll admit that... [''sigh'']
 '''Kacey:''' Talk about slow in the mind, right?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay. Okay. Kacey, please stop, you're pressin' a few- you're pressin' a few buttons, here.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Chris! This is ludicrous. You're trying to tell me that you think some young kid is doing this. [''coughs''] I mean have.. have you... you said in the video that you heard him. What does he sound like?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, he sounds like... I think he sounds- I thinks he sounds more like... more like an adult. He's got kind of a high pitched tone but he sounds strong. Kinda whiny.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, can you imitate him for me? Since you're good with voices?
 '''Chris:''' ...Let me think a moment... um... [''pause''] Ahh... [''starts talking very drawn out and deeper''] I'm trying... to... see if I can... find the voice [''voice goes deeper''] by deepening my voice to the appropriate levels... no... [''mumbling and humming for about 20 seconds''] I thiiiink I'm getting there but I'm not really... [''voice spikes''] suuuure... If I knew a man from Nantucket who... [''voice returns to normal''] I'm just saying words here until I find the right tone.
 '''Kacey:''' Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice goes deeper again''] If I knew a man from Nantucket [''voice returns to normal''] I would know what his voice 'cause I would have heard it a few times before and I'm not really sure until I find the right pitch. And when that happens I would tell it to you right away. Ahh... Ahh... I think I'm nearly there. Aaa-ahhh... Kinda sounds like... I think I'm just about hitting it. Um... yeah. [''voice doesn't change at all, identical to his regular voice a little deeper''] I think he sounds kinda like this, I'm not really sure. I think this sounds real right, I'm not... I'd have to hear it again. This is pretty close, I think.
 '''Kacey:''' Say something one more time.
 '''Chris:''' I think I hit the note. Abouuut...
 '''Kacey:''' Because... all I really heard was you. You made him sound like you, but lower pitched. That... doesn't sound higher pitched.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think he sounds kinda like, uh... [''trying to impersonate Clyde - again, sounds identical to himself but a little deeper, speaking very, very rapidly''] Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Chris, what are you doin', man, I...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, you have a really high pitched voice too, and you're making him ''lower'' pitched, so...
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to find it...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Okay. I'll be patient.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm trying to find it... um... [''attempting to alter his voice, yet again''] If I knew the sound of the voice, I would get there. But I've heard it a number of times before. Ummmmhhhhhaaaaaa... yeah, I think I've just about got it... duuuhhhaaahhhh... Hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris. Heeeeyyyyy Chris, hey Chris, h-hey... I thi- I think I got it. I think... yeah, I think I got it, this is what he sounds like right here. [''Chris's voice has not changed at all, sounds exactly like himself.''] Listen to me right here, this is what he sounds like. Hey Chris, he-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts, talks over Chris''] So he sounds like you with a cold. Got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. That sounds about right. ...Good guess. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:'''[''pause''] ...Oookay.
 '''Chris:''' Like me with a cold... Heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' I like that. That's a fun comparison. [''laughs, clearly forcing it''] Huh huh huh. Huh huh huh. Ahh... that's fun. [''pause''] I mean, if he... Heh, you know, that's... I never thought of that before.

==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 23 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|tzOZoo34ugc}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 24]]
}} </center>
 '''Kacey:''' [''giggles''] Well, you know, he seems like he means business, so, you know, I'd at least keep my eye on him. I mean, what else has he done? I mean, I'm sure he's done more.
 '''Chris:''' Well, let's see, I think I told you about the time he flew... about the time he said he flew to Australia and raped my Australian gal-pal and impregnated her...
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Oh. He... he did?
 '''Chris:''' Supposedly, yeah, but I'm not the latest in that, because you know... so many multiple identities. Like...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just 'cause he's assuming multiple identities doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean, that would be horrible for you to ignore someone being raped like that, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. It was hard for me to ignore.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you shouldn't have ignored it. Rape isn't something that should be ignored. I mean, she got raped, right?
 '''Chris:''' It happened... yeah, it did happen about last December or January.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway... but anyway, so, last time I heard it that poor girl got burned to death... got burned, got burned to death and died in that brush fire, so... In Australia that January.
 '''Kacey:''' That's horrible. So she got raped and then died?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I... I know, I was broken up by it too, I mean, I miss her.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh. I mean, okay. This guy really seems like he means business.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, well. It may or may not... it may, uh, it may just be... I mean, he may actually just ''sound'' like he means business, but... he may not actually have the business. I mean, you know, he may not actually have the skills to pay the bills, with that expression.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, he has hacked your stuff before, I mean, how can you say that? I mean, apparently he's got some skills.
 '''Chris:''' I, yeah... I mean, aside from trying to find a multiple identity and not finding much, I don't know that much about him.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if he could hide himself that well, he could probably take himself off stuff like that. I mean, especially if it's just google.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. ...He could take himself off?
 '''Kacey:''' It's really easy to get yourself off... taken away from, you know, like, web searches and all that.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, maybe you should ask your fans to help find him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' You know, maybe you can reform some trolls. Maybe they'll betray him. Maybe he's such a jerk, they don't like him either.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Bring in the trolls to try helping take down ''this'' troll?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they are trolls. They do do that. I mean, you've gotta use everything in your power, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. Alright, well, fortunately, I do have... I do know about the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] forums page, I do know that... I have it bookmarked. I could look in there, see if I could find some information about, ah... about the guy.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a good start. Maybe.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But, you know, Kim's helping me as well. She's doing searches on her own, her part.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, how do you know Clyde even goes there?
 '''Chris:''' What, to the elementary school in Kentucky?
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no, to the ED forums.
 '''Chris:''' Wh- ...It's a possibility. They do talk about him on there. Among all the other- among all the other things, and around... around, and involving me.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sigh''] I feel all worn out after tryin' to find that... find that pic- find that pitch where he sounds like...
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckles''] Well it happens...
 '''Chris:''' -like me with a cold, heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, exactly. You with a cold...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, heh... That was almost as hard as trying to find the, uh... find the... imitate Donald Duck for the first time.
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckle'']
 '''Chris:''' Took me a while, but I eventually got it. [''attempts imitating Donald Duck, sounds NOTHING like it''] Whoob, whoob, whoob! Whacka, wahh wahh! Donald Duck! [''quacking'']
 '''Kacey:''' ...Yep.
 '''Chris:''' Did you get that?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. I got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. It does take practice.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It ''does'' take practice. At least by default, I almost sound like Frank Sinatra.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' I do, seriously, I mean... you've heard Frank Sinatra, haven't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course I have.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you know he's got, like... the singing voice on the side, on the uh... with the high pitched... somewhere along with his deep tones. At least he has the... at least he has the power and the practice to balance between it and make good sounding tones for when he's playing his tracks.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Makes me think a little further, though. How I could sing a little better. Huh. [''sighs''] Anyw- anyway... pfew, I'm a little tired right now. If it's okay, I'm gonna go ahead and let you go, and I'll talk to you tomorrow night.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I shouldn't be at work ''too'' late tomorrow, so I should... I'll call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You take care and be safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you too. Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye. Bye-bye.
[''Call ends'']

==External links==

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bi6u4u7rxzg4alu mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 24

2012-01-29T03:54:34Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Just a brief overview until transcriptions are complete.

File Name: kc10509.mp3

*[[Chris]] says that his [[mom]] had food poisoning, so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways. Chris says his mom has to be on a diet now. [[Kacey]] suggests that Chris joins her on the diet to support her. Chris starts talking about how he's unsure of the diet and tries to get out of it. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!
*Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
*Kacey asks about Chris's [[room]] getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but Kim suggested that Chris take his [[Lego]] city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
*Kacey failed a class and lost her [[job]].
*Chris is still trying to get a job at [[Target]], but has applied to two other stores.
*Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up. Chris got an email stating that [[Gregg Mays]] showed up and sold her guitars instead for half price.
*Chris talks about the [[Emily]] date, and claims that the ''man in the pickle suit'''s name is Harold.
*Chris talks about the [[PVCC]] trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the [[lulz|L-U-L-Z]] (spells it out).
*Chris gets stressed out when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
*Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a complement, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
*Chris doesn't even open emails anymore.
*'''Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!'''
*Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
*Kacey: "I have [[gay]] friends, and they're always grabbing my boobs! It's okay because they're gay!"
*Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
*Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.
*Kacey says that she has to go.

==Transcript ==
==Part 1==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|kMQNl8r1VfA}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 23]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good, just a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got to agree.
 '''Kacey:''' So how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email, did you read my reply I sent back to you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, I did.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, that sucks about your mom, I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... How did they know that she had food poisoning?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that my- That was my father and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then- and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as Colitis.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean well-
 '''Kacey:''' You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... She was having gut pains, and... Yeah, she was like "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened," She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know... Mom was... All up- All up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, if she has Colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that, you said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the Colitis yet. So...
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong, like did she get put on a diet?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, salty or sugary foods, or drinks, now.
 '''Kacey:''' No, definitely not, is she sticking to it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she's- Yeah, she just got started on it.
 '''Kacey:''' So then what type of things is she eating?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... Fruits and vegetables... Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' Hm, alright well, I'm not sure- I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know. I can- I can like, you know... Um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-
 '''Kacey:''' You should, I mean it's good, you know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; Number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.
 '''Chris:''' Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer- Families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's a show of soli- You know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into Chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Kacey:''' It's pretty inspirational.
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... Alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my more about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' You totally should.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I- Yeah. But right now she's- Right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely, I think that would be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' How is your room coming along?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh... I, uh... Kim and I agreed that, uh... Yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city- My Lego city apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into... into buckets.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that- I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Yeah it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent- Plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the- being in the hospital.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' So...
 '''Kacey:''' But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah- I, yeah- I'm going to work on that this week. On that-
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. ''[Pause]'' Oh by the way I still have- By the way, apparently, uh... It's like, you know, I have- um... Yeah I have not heard back from Target, and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... The weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in Ruckersville.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet. But I- But I, like you know, I'm planning on- I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Cuz I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. ''(Pause)'' Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon- Yeah, let me go- Let me go off-topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, [[Regina]], the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Whose father I sold two guitars to on eBay. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along... great, you know I've been mostly telling her about the pos- About my positive characteristics. Not one- Not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like [[Gregg Mays]] and whatever. And then, uh... And then... You know like we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... But, today at two o'clock at the, uh, McDonald's on Barracks Road... But then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the- Oh, I got the... Oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two- And he had two guitars, with no paint- With all paint and stickers removed. And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll- I got trolled again. And like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it sounds like she got trolled too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or like you- Yeah or like you know, like she's one of the- She's one them, just like, uh... The past time at the mall, I think her name was [[Emily]]. And then we were- And then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that Guy in the Pickle Suit. Uh... And I think, uh, I think, you know Kim could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know she had a wire on?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed Sigh)'' Because, the- I found the audio file later, on the, uh... [[Miscreants]] webpage that was originally created by Clyde Cash-slash-Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim- Then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and what-not. So...
 '''Kacey:''' It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. No... I don't think think ''the whole world'' is against me, just some- It's just some of the people- It's just the whole buncha people out of a whole- Out of a big vast majority.
 '''Kacey:''' You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting more stressed & whiny)'' I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I- As far as I know, I-
 '''Kacey:''' But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why! I don't know why they started... ''[Sigh]'' I don't even know why that- Why the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z.
 '''Kacey:''' The what?
 '''Chris:''' L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you telling the truth?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean are you should you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.
 '''Chris:''' I am telling- I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to [[God]]. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you reall that important?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Offended sigh]'' Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as- I'm as important or more important than [[Britney Spears]]! ''[Pause]'' Jeez... ''[Sigh]'' What a mess that- What a mess the whole trolling thing is. ''[Sigh]'' But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block- and I'm continuing to uh, block any nay-sayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my- On my- On my AOL address.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?
 '''Chris:''' Well like you know, people... I- For one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a [[homosexual]], or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me- or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stunned)'' What, come on, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Disgusted Sigh)'' But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- ''(stammering incoherently)''
 '''Kacey:''' THEY don't.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting angrier)'' Ugh, I've been telling them- I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the YouTube videos that I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they think you're just being shy.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I-I mean, I even- I even reflected so much about my, uh- About my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, ''(Chris sighs)'' then it usually is true.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, JESUS CHRIST!
 '''Kacey:''' They just think you're in the closet, I mean, you...
 '''Chris:''' I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...
 '''Chris:''' Wait- Wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?
 '''Kacey:''' No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Jesus... ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you should just ignore it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris sighs and tries to change the subject)'' Ah, whatever, but anyway like I- Like I said, I add the- I add those names- I add those people- Those are... The subject of those people that send me such e-mails, I add to my block list, that's uh... one thing, another thing is like you know... Like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you", or "You're a [[fail]]ure", or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh-
==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|t2rBqEl1MSI}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Father Call]]
}} </center>
You know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your [[copyright]] being stolen", that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob- It say- They just say it in the subject line. ''[Pause]'' Yeah. Anyway, yeah those- Those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway, I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.
 '''Chris:''' Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!
 '''Kacey:''' But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, Jesus...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean Chris, this is just common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... You know, let me- let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I- You know, yeah, there is a- There is [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a video of me]]... Uh... Having sex with a blow-up woman- With a blow-up doll, that's like a wom- A blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that- I mean, I- The blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up- I'd be blowing up a... Dude doll.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.
 '''Chris:''' But I-
 '''Kacey:''' I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noises)'' Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is- is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the [[Manboobs|boobs]], and the long hair and the-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't- And it wouldn't know, but still-
 '''Kacey:''' So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Double Stress Sigh)'' Well yeah, well... ''(Stress Breathing)'' Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going- I'm just going- I just been goinh overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would- Most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Oh, jeez...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at penises! I love looking at vaginas!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK... I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Quiet, frustrated sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.
 '''Chris:''' I find wom- I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean- I- Yeah we talked about this before, we... We talked about this before.
 '''Kacey:''' I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's okay because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again)'' Whatev- Whatever. I- Yeah, uhh, whatever. Let's not- Let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' You should stop sighing so much, Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... Little upset toddler behavior.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Tries not to sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' You could be polite and be like, "I disagree".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or, "Let's change the subject".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.
 '''Chris:''' Okay yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. ''(Waits for response)'' She's been correcting me on-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not that hard, so... Come on. Heh.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, wait... I- Uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' I said it's not that hard. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, not hard.
 '''Kacey:''' It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I mean- Yeah, well I mean, I did try to... Stop- To not say whatev- That word. But, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.
 '''Chris:''' Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it- I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam- around my family. And- And it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... And then I- It just started coming back- It just started coming out again. That's- That's one thing that I'm- That I think there, about that. ''(Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything)'' Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is- What else can I- What else is on my mind I can talk about... Um... I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can tutor you in statistics... Actually, I did take statistics, uh... At, uh, one or two of those classes... Uh, when I started at Piedmont, as part of the- As part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was- I- First, I started to work on... But then I- But then I switched over to Computer Aided Drafting and Design. But yeah I did do- I did do statistics, so... Like- So like, you know... If you... Show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob- I could probably remember... what to do there.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can- I'll see what I can remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to- And it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice- It's nice to know that- To have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know... Just- You know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughs politely)'' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You take care, be safe, bye-bye.


==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?h6fo6e4505emggu mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]|nextlink=[[Father Call]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 24

2012-01-29T03:53:14Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Just a brief overview until transcriptions are complete.

File Name: kc10509.mp3

*[[Chris]] says that his [[mom]] had food poisoning, so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways. Chris says his mom has to be on a diet now. [[Kacey]] suggests that Chris joins her on the diet to support her. Chris starts talking about how he's unsure of the diet and tries to get out of it. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!
*Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
*Kacey asks about Chris's [[room]] getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but Kim suggested that Chris take his [[Lego]] city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
*Kacey failed a class and lost her [[job]].
*Chris is still trying to get a job at [[Target]], but has applied to two other stores.
*Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up. Chris got an email stating that [[Gregg Mays]] showed up and sold her guitars instead for half price.
*Chris talks about the [[Emily]] date, and claims that the ''man in the pickle suit'''s name is Harold.
*Chris talks about the [[PVCC]] trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the [[lulz|L-U-L-Z]] (spells it out).
*Chris gets stressed out when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
*Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a complement, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
*Chris doesn't even open emails anymore.
*'''Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!'''
*Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
*Kacey: "I have [[gay]] friends, and they're always grabbing my boobs! It's okay because they're gay!"
*Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
*Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.
*Kacey says that she has to go.

==Transcript ==
==Part 1==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|kMQNl8r1VfA}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 23]]
| next = [[Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good, just a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got to agree.
 '''Kacey:''' So how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email, did you read my reply I sent back to you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, I did.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, that sucks about your mom, I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... How did they know that she had food poisoning?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that my- That was my father and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then- and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as Colitis.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean well-
 '''Kacey:''' You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... She was having gut pains, and... Yeah, she was like "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened," She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know... Mom was... All up- All up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, if she has Colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that, you said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the Colitis yet. So...
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong, like did she get put on a diet?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, salty or sugary foods, or drinks, now.
 '''Kacey:''' No, definitely not, is she sticking to it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she's- Yeah, she just got started on it.
 '''Kacey:''' So then what type of things is she eating?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... Fruits and vegetables... Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' Hm, alright well, I'm not sure- I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know. I can- I can like, you know... Um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-
 '''Kacey:''' You should, I mean it's good, you know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; Number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.
 '''Chris:''' Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer- Families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's a show of soli- You know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into Chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Kacey:''' It's pretty inspirational.
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... Alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my more about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' You totally should.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I- Yeah. But right now she's- Right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely, I think that would be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' How is your room coming along?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh... I, uh... Kim and I agreed that, uh... Yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city- My Lego city apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into... into buckets.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that- I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Yeah it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent- Plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the- being in the hospital.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' So...
 '''Kacey:''' But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah- I, yeah- I'm going to work on that this week. On that-
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. ''[Pause]'' Oh by the way I still have- By the way, apparently, uh... It's like, you know, I have- um... Yeah I have not heard back from Target, and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... The weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in Ruckersville.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet. But I- But I, like you know, I'm planning on- I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Cuz I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. ''(Pause)'' Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon- Yeah, let me go- Let me go off-topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, [[Regina]], the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Whose father I sold two guitars to on eBay. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along... great, you know I've been mostly telling her about the pos- About my positive characteristics. Not one- Not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like [[Gregg Mays]] and whatever. And then, uh... And then... You know like we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... But, today at two o'clock at the, uh, McDonald's on Barracks Road... But then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the- Oh, I got the... Oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two- And he had two guitars, with no paint- With all paint and stickers removed. And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll- I got trolled again. And like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it sounds like she got trolled too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or like you- Yeah or like you know, like she's one of the- She's one them, just like, uh... The past time at the mall, I think her name was [[Emily]]. And then we were- And then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that Guy in the Pickle Suit. Uh... And I think, uh, I think, you know Kim could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know she had a wire on?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed Sigh)'' Because, the- I found the audio file later, on the, uh... [[Miscreants]] webpage that was originally created by Clyde Cash-slash-Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim- Then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and what-not. So...
 '''Kacey:''' It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. No... I don't think think ''the whole world'' is against me, just some- It's just some of the people- It's just the whole buncha people out of a whole- Out of a big vast majority.
 '''Kacey:''' You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting more stressed & whiny)'' I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I- As far as I know, I-
 '''Kacey:''' But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why! I don't know why they started... ''[Sigh]'' I don't even know why that- Why the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z.
 '''Kacey:''' The what?
 '''Chris:''' L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you telling the truth?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean are you should you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.
 '''Chris:''' I am telling- I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to [[God]]. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you reall that important?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Offended sigh]'' Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as- I'm as important or more important than [[Britney Spears]]! ''[Pause]'' Jeez... ''[Sigh]'' What a mess that- What a mess the whole trolling thing is. ''[Sigh]'' But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block- and I'm continuing to uh, block any nay-sayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my- On my- On my AOL address.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?
 '''Chris:''' Well like you know, people... I- For one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a [[homosexual]], or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me- or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stunned)'' What, come on, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Disgusted Sigh)'' But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- ''(stammering incoherently)''
 '''Kacey:''' THEY don't.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting angrier)'' Ugh, I've been telling them- I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the YouTube videos that I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they think you're just being shy.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I-I mean, I even- I even reflected so much about my, uh- About my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, ''(Chris sighs)'' then it usually is true.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, JESUS CHRIST!
 '''Kacey:''' They just think you're in the closet, I mean, you...
 '''Chris:''' I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...
 '''Chris:''' Wait- Wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?
 '''Kacey:''' No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Jesus... ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you should just ignore it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris sighs and tries to change the subject)'' Ah, whatever, but anyway like I- Like I said, I add the- I add those names- I add those people- Those are... The subject of those people that send me such e-mails, I add to my block list, that's uh... one thing, another thing is like you know... Like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you", or "You're a [[fail]]ure", or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh-
==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|t2rBqEl1MSI}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Father Call]]
}} </center>
You know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your [[copyright]] being stolen", that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob- It say- They just say it in the subject line. ''[Pause]'' Yeah. Anyway, yeah those- Those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway, I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.
 '''Chris:''' Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!
 '''Kacey:''' But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, Jesus...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean Chris, this is just common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... You know, let me- let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I- You know, yeah, there is a- There is [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a video of me]]... Uh... Having sex with a blow-up woman- With a blow-up doll, that's like a wom- A blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that- I mean, I- The blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up- I'd be blowing up a... Dude doll.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.
 '''Chris:''' But I-
 '''Kacey:''' I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noises)'' Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is- is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the [[Manboobs|boobs]], and the long hair and the-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't- And it wouldn't know, but still-
 '''Kacey:''' So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Double Stress Sigh)'' Well yeah, well... ''(Stress Breathing)'' Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going- I'm just going- I just been goinh overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would- Most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Oh, jeez...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at penises! I love looking at vaginas!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK... I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Quiet, frustrated sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.
 '''Chris:''' I find wom- I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean- I- Yeah we talked about this before, we... We talked about this before.
 '''Kacey:''' I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's okay because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again)'' Whatev- Whatever. I- Yeah, uhh, whatever. Let's not- Let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' You should stop sighing so much, Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... Little upset toddler behavior.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Tries not to sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' You could be polite and be like, "I disagree".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or, "Let's change the subject".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.
 '''Chris:''' Okay yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. ''(Waits for response)'' She's been correcting me on-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not that hard, so... Come on. Heh.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, wait... I- Uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' I said it's not that hard. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, not hard.
 '''Kacey:''' It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I mean- Yeah, well I mean, I did try to... Stop- To not say whatev- That word. But, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.
 '''Chris:''' Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it- I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam- around my family. And- And it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... And then I- It just started coming back- It just started coming out again. That's- That's one thing that I'm- That I think there, about that. ''(Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything)'' Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is- What else can I- What else is on my mind I can talk about... Um... I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can tutor you in statistics... Actually, I did take statistics, uh... At, uh, one or two of those classes... Uh, when I started at Piedmont, as part of the- As part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was- I- First, I started to work on... But then I- But then I switched over to Computer Aided Drafting and Design. But yeah I did do- I did do statistics, so... Like- So like, you know... If you... Show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob- I could probably remember... what to do there.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can- I'll see what I can remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to- And it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice- It's nice to know that- To have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know... Just- You know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughs politely)'' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You take care, be safe, bye-bye.


==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?h6fo6e4505emggu mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]|nextlink=[[Father Call]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 24

2012-01-29T03:52:27Z

Giantgroundsloth: Done as a doornail!

Just a brief overview until transcriptions are complete.

File Name: kc10509.mp3

*[[Chris]] says that his [[mom]] had food poisoning, so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways. Chris says his mom has to be on a diet now. [[Kacey]] suggests that Chris joins her on the diet to support her. Chris starts talking about how he's unsure of the diet and tries to get out of it. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!
*Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
*Kacey asks about Chris's [[room]] getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but Kim suggested that Chris take his [[Lego]] city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
*Kacey failed a class and lost her [[job]].
*Chris is still trying to get a job at [[Target]], but has applied to two other stores.
*Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up. Chris got an email stating that [[Gregg Mays]] showed up and sold her guitars instead for half price.
*Chris talks about the [[Emily]] date, and claims that the ''man in the pickle suit'''s name is Harold.
*Chris talks about the [[PVCC]] trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the [[lulz|L-U-L-Z]] (spells it out).
*Chris gets stressed out when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
*Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a complement, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
*Chris doesn't even open emails anymore.
*'''Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!'''
*Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
*Kacey: "I have [[gay]] friends, and they're always grabbing my boobs! It's okay because they're gay!"
*Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
*Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.
*Kacey says that she has to go.

==Transcript ==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|kMQNl8r1VfA}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 23]]
| next = [[Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good, just a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got to agree.
 '''Kacey:''' So how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email, did you read my reply I sent back to you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, I did.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, that sucks about your mom, I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... How did they know that she had food poisoning?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that my- That was my father and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then- and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as Colitis.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean well-
 '''Kacey:''' You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... She was having gut pains, and... Yeah, she was like "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened," She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know... Mom was... All up- All up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, if she has Colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that, you said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the Colitis yet. So...
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong, like did she get put on a diet?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, salty or sugary foods, or drinks, now.
 '''Kacey:''' No, definitely not, is she sticking to it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she's- Yeah, she just got started on it.
 '''Kacey:''' So then what type of things is she eating?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... Fruits and vegetables... Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' Hm, alright well, I'm not sure- I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know. I can- I can like, you know... Um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-
 '''Kacey:''' You should, I mean it's good, you know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; Number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.
 '''Chris:''' Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer- Families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's a show of soli- You know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into Chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Kacey:''' It's pretty inspirational.
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... Alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my more about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' You totally should.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I- Yeah. But right now she's- Right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely, I think that would be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' How is your room coming along?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh... I, uh... Kim and I agreed that, uh... Yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city- My Lego city apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into... into buckets.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that- I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Yeah it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent- Plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the- being in the hospital.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' So...
 '''Kacey:''' But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah- I, yeah- I'm going to work on that this week. On that-
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. ''[Pause]'' Oh by the way I still have- By the way, apparently, uh... It's like, you know, I have- um... Yeah I have not heard back from Target, and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... The weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in Ruckersville.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet. But I- But I, like you know, I'm planning on- I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Cuz I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. ''(Pause)'' Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon- Yeah, let me go- Let me go off-topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, [[Regina]], the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Whose father I sold two guitars to on eBay. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along... great, you know I've been mostly telling her about the pos- About my positive characteristics. Not one- Not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like [[Gregg Mays]] and whatever. And then, uh... And then... You know like we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... But, today at two o'clock at the, uh, McDonald's on Barracks Road... But then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the- Oh, I got the... Oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two- And he had two guitars, with no paint- With all paint and stickers removed. And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll- I got trolled again. And like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it sounds like she got trolled too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or like you- Yeah or like you know, like she's one of the- She's one them, just like, uh... The past time at the mall, I think her name was [[Emily]]. And then we were- And then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that Guy in the Pickle Suit. Uh... And I think, uh, I think, you know Kim could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know she had a wire on?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed Sigh)'' Because, the- I found the audio file later, on the, uh... [[Miscreants]] webpage that was originally created by Clyde Cash-slash-Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim- Then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and what-not. So...
 '''Kacey:''' It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. No... I don't think think ''the whole world'' is against me, just some- It's just some of the people- It's just the whole buncha people out of a whole- Out of a big vast majority.
 '''Kacey:''' You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting more stressed & whiny)'' I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I- As far as I know, I-
 '''Kacey:''' But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why! I don't know why they started... ''[Sigh]'' I don't even know why that- Why the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z.
 '''Kacey:''' The what?
 '''Chris:''' L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you telling the truth?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean are you should you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.
 '''Chris:''' I am telling- I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to [[God]]. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you reall that important?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Offended sigh]'' Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as- I'm as important or more important than [[Britney Spears]]! ''[Pause]'' Jeez... ''[Sigh]'' What a mess that- What a mess the whole trolling thing is. ''[Sigh]'' But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block- and I'm continuing to uh, block any nay-sayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my- On my- On my AOL address.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?
 '''Chris:''' Well like you know, people... I- For one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a [[homosexual]], or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me- or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stunned)'' What, come on, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Disgusted Sigh)'' But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- ''(stammering incoherently)''
 '''Kacey:''' THEY don't.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting angrier)'' Ugh, I've been telling them- I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the YouTube videos that I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they think you're just being shy.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I-I mean, I even- I even reflected so much about my, uh- About my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, ''(Chris sighs)'' then it usually is true.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, JESUS CHRIST!
 '''Kacey:''' They just think you're in the closet, I mean, you...
 '''Chris:''' I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...
 '''Chris:''' Wait- Wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?
 '''Kacey:''' No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Jesus... ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you should just ignore it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris sighs and tries to change the subject)'' Ah, whatever, but anyway like I- Like I said, I add the- I add those names- I add those people- Those are... The subject of those people that send me such e-mails, I add to my block list, that's uh... one thing, another thing is like you know... Like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you", or "You're a [[fail]]ure", or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh-
==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 24 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|t2rBqEl1MSI}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Father Call]]
}} </center>
You know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your [[copyright]] being stolen", that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob- It say- They just say it in the subject line. ''[Pause]'' Yeah. Anyway, yeah those- Those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway, I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.
 '''Chris:''' Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!
 '''Kacey:''' But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, Jesus...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean Chris, this is just common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... You know, let me- let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I- You know, yeah, there is a- There is [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a video of me]]... Uh... Having sex with a blow-up woman- With a blow-up doll, that's like a wom- A blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that- I mean, I- The blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up- I'd be blowing up a... Dude doll.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.
 '''Chris:''' But I-
 '''Kacey:''' I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noises)'' Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is- is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the [[Manboobs|boobs]], and the long hair and the-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't- And it wouldn't know, but still-
 '''Kacey:''' So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Double Stress Sigh)'' Well yeah, well... ''(Stress Breathing)'' Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going- I'm just going- I just been goinh overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would- Most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Oh, jeez...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at penises! I love looking at vaginas!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK... I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Quiet, frustrated sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.
 '''Chris:''' I find wom- I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean- I- Yeah we talked about this before, we... We talked about this before.
 '''Kacey:''' I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's okay because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again)'' Whatev- Whatever. I- Yeah, uhh, whatever. Let's not- Let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' You should stop sighing so much, Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... Little upset toddler behavior.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Tries not to sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' You could be polite and be like, "I disagree".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or, "Let's change the subject".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.
 '''Chris:''' Okay yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. ''(Waits for response)'' She's been correcting me on-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not that hard, so... Come on. Heh.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, wait... I- Uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' I said it's not that hard. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, not hard.
 '''Kacey:''' It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I mean- Yeah, well I mean, I did try to... Stop- To not say whatev- That word. But, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.
 '''Chris:''' Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it- I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam- around my family. And- And it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... And then I- It just started coming back- It just started coming out again. That's- That's one thing that I'm- That I think there, about that. ''(Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything)'' Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is- What else can I- What else is on my mind I can talk about... Um... I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can tutor you in statistics... Actually, I did take statistics, uh... At, uh, one or two of those classes... Uh, when I started at Piedmont, as part of the- As part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was- I- First, I started to work on... But then I- But then I switched over to Computer Aided Drafting and Design. But yeah I did do- I did do statistics, so... Like- So like, you know... If you... Show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob- I could probably remember... what to do there.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can- I'll see what I can remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to- And it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice- It's nice to know that- To have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know... Just- You know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughs politely)'' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You take care, be safe, bye-bye.


==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?h6fo6e4505emggu mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]|nextlink=[[Father Call]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 23

2012-01-29T03:39:32Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Just a brief overview until transcriptions are complete.

File Name: kc92909.mp3

*Chris has given up on his job at Target - he never received a phone call back.
*[[Chris]] is simply ignoring e-mails based on their subjects.
*Chris got the [[copyright]] for [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey pushes Chris to stop ignoring Clyde "just in case he tries something."
*Chris says that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Gregg Mays]] are the same person and they don't exist because he won't "show his face or identity or anything."
*Chris says that Clyde Cash is '''AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT!'''. He admits several times that he thinks it's possible a '''"six to eleven year old"''' is smarter than him.
*Kacey calls Chris "[[slow in the mind]]," Chris tells her she's "pushin' buttons."
*Chris says that Clyde's voice is high pitched and whiny. Oh boy.
*Chris spends like 3 minutes trying to do an impression of Clyde and it ends up just sounding exactly like Chris's normal voice except a bit deeper. He tries several times - each attempt sounds the exact same.
*Chris explains how [[Panda]] was raped by Clyde, and he just ignored it. Kacey mentions that rape is serious and shouldn't be ignored - Chris completely ignores this, and goes on to talk about how she died in a brush fire.
*Kacey tells Chris to recruit trolls to help take down Clyde. Chris says he is going to go to ED and dox Clyde, entirely expecting Clyde to have just openly posted all his personal info on the ED forums for all to see.
*Chris attempts a Donald Duck impression. It sounds like complete shit and nothing like Donald Duck.
*Chris says he actually thinks his regular voice sounds like Frank Sinatra.

==Transcript==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 23 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|bKXpa8PzpZI}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 22]]
| next = [[Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. Just busy. You know, work's keeping me late.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand, and you know- 'cause, you know, you can call us and I saw in the store(?) you were busy.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I've got a lot of projects and I'm kinda behind in school and I want to NOT be behind, you know. Um. So how have things been for you?
 '''Chris:''' I've been doing fair... I mean, you know, things could be better if I didn't have to worry about the trolls, but... You know...
 '''Kacey:''' What are they doing?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, just trying to get on my nerves... but lately I've been, uh, handling the situation much better. I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's good! That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, let's see, aside from that, um... Yeah, I've been- I've been- been... I've been pushing myself a little further, jogging a little bit longer.
 '''Kacey:''' [''coughs''] That's good.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... And I still haven't heard back from Target, so that's probably a no-go, but the other thing is a new CVS in Ruckersville and I'll probably apply to that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh you should! I mean, I wouldn't give up on it, though. So, um, how is your copyright coming?
 '''Chris:''' Oh... Yeah, I have, I've called the copyright office and I, uh, I got back access to my account and, ah, it's all good. The copyright is mine.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Well that... that's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I read somethin' on the internet about this, ah, about this image that, uh, Greg May, uh, Greg Mays slash Clyde Cash, you know, that like, he, uh, it's about like, this, uh, this image about like, supposedly about him having the copyright, but that document is false. I think-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting, talking right over Chris the whole time which he doesn't even seem to notice''] Well, yeah, because obviously you have the papers now, right?
 '''Chris:''' I don't have the papers yet, I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then how do you know it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Beca- because I called the copyright office and t-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, it's not going to help until you actually have the papers. You need proof. It's like saying you have a diploma but you ''don't'' have a diploma with you. I mean, you're gonna have to get those papers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I know, I won't get the, uh, document for... for a few more weeks.
 '''Kacey:''' They should send them right away. You should ask them to rush it. I mean, I know they'll do it... if it's really yours.
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Especially since it's...
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Y-yeah, yeah, yeah, y-yeah, I, yeah, I, I asked them if they could rush it but, uh, they said 'no, they couldn't,' they have to do it at their own timely pace. So, I was like, you know, I didn't ar-argue. I didn't want to argue with them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, this troll could do a lot of damage, you need to rush it. I mean, I've seen these things take months, really, but... I mean, if you say so.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's - don't worry about that. It's a- it's all good. I'm still working on the comic pages.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know there's one thing you aren't working on, because I saw your video. Your room looks like it got ''messier.'' I thought you said you were going to work on taking things down and doing that for me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, that's only the, uh, one side of the room, and... you saw that side of the room in the last picture, a-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, you haven't given me any more pictures like you promised me or anything, and I mean it looks... bad.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, well, I'll-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you... you said that you were going to get this done like weeks ago. And... it's not even half way done.
 '''Chris:''' It is mostly done, believe me. I'll send you some pictures tomorrow, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I hope that they're promising.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sounding annoyed''] They are, okay? They are. Yeah, well, aside from that, anything going on with you, lately?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... no, I've just been going to class and everything. I've been trying to hang out with my friends more, get a little more social because I just fell, you know, totally overwhelmed. Um, I'm pretty much doing what you're doing and ignoring all the trolls an... you know, just not really caring. They're not worth my time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear that. I hear that. Anyway. My plans for tomorrow are go to class... I've got another yoga class tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure I pronounced that right.
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] But I mean, like... you really don't read the e-mails at all? I mean, sometimes I do just, you know, for a good laugh. And I mean, sometimes, you know, I am paranoid that... you know, because these people, they mean business. I am kind of worried that sometimes I'll miss something, and they'll actually do something. I mean, I don't wanna ignore problems, either.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know, can pretty much judge what they're gonna say in the e-mail, but, by reading subjects. [''pause''] And like, you know, if the subject just is like, you know, don't really... don't really care about that stuff. Yeah, so I just assum- leave that closed.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know, but, Cameron and I talked about how you need to take your problems head on. Like, I told you, you don't need to ''really'' let them get to you, but you can't ignore them outright totally, either.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I-I that's what I do mostly. After they realize they can call Greg Mays or Clyde Cash out, you know, because he's sent one identity of Clyde Cash, and assumed the identity of Greg Mays, and you know, neither of them were- neither of them were- neither of them really existed, really.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I know it's the same person. Assuming different identities, and both of them are obviously fake, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then, what's his real name?
 '''Chris:''' Wha- he's never actually showed hims- he's never actually showed... his face or his identity or anything-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well... most people don't do that, but I mean, if you had his real name you could force him to apologize. I mean, turn the tables on him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I... that's why... the one thing I don't have is real name. So I can't really do that, now can I? But still, I call him out, I- I- I challenged him...
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, do some research. I mean, you can at least try.
 '''Chris:''' I did try, I... I searched the names Greg Mays and Clyde Cash and I didn't get much.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I don't know how much research you are going to do because, uh, Kim and I were... talking about this, you know, and, she was saying how, um... you haven't read the entirety of the ED page, yet you say it's all lies and slanders... and then you turn around and say that there is truth to it. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, I talked to Kim about that and I'm planning on... and I'm reading on... through the, uh, texts, on-only the texts on the ED page. And I'm... I'm gonna print them out and I'm gonna add them, and then- so I can, so I can sort out the, uh, ''facts'' from the fiction.
 '''Kacey:''' Right. Well, maybe you should look more closely at these e-mails. Especially, I mean, if this guy has been bothering you so much that he seems to be able to get to you, and he has connections, you should probably, um, make sure. I mean, maybe he made a mistake. Maybe... he... left a clue to his identity. If he's hacked you before maybe you should totally like, at least listen to him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried that, I m-
 '''Kacey:'''[''interrupting''] Well, I mean if you just ignore him, what if he does something way bigger?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean... yeah, you know, I don't know if I've told you, but, you know, when he- when he, first time he hacked into my Playstation Network account, a couple of d- a few weeks ago, a couple weeks ago... I got an address, but it turned out to be an elementary school in, I think it was... Kentucky.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe he works there!
 '''Chris:''' ...or maybe he's a student there.
 '''Kacey:''' ...an elementary school. You're telling me you were fooled by an elementary school student over and over again?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... it's a possibility.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he's a teacher! You really think that an elementary schooler has gotten the best of you? Over and over?
 '''Chris:''' [''short pause''] ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he's probably a teacher. [''laughs''] Because if not, you're telling me that some six year old... to... eleven year old has outsmarted you when you're twenty-seven several times. Think... think about that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I have considered that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how does that make you feel? This... little... kid that hasn't even hit puberty can outsmart you so many times.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'll admit that... [''sigh'']
 '''Kacey:''' Talk about slow in the mind, right?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay. Okay. Kacey, please stop, you're pressin' a few- you're pressin' a few buttons, here.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Chris! This is ludicrous. You're trying to tell me that you think some young kid is doing this. [''coughs''] I mean have.. have you... you said in the video that you heard him. What does he sound like?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, he sounds like... I think he sounds- I thinks he sounds more like... more like an adult. He's got kind of a high pitched tone but he sounds strong. Kinda whiny.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, can you imitate him for me? Since you're good with voices?
 '''Chris:''' ...Let me think a moment... um... [''pause''] Ahh... [''starts talking very drawn out and deeper''] I'm trying... to... see if I can... find the voice [''voice goes deeper''] by deepening my voice to the appropriate levels... no... [''mumbling and humming for about 20 seconds''] I thiiiink I'm getting there but I'm not really... [''voice spikes''] suuuure... If I knew a man from Nantucket who... [''voice returns to normal''] I'm just saying words here until I find the right tone.
 '''Kacey:''' Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice goes deeper again''] If I knew a man from Nantucket [''voice returns to normal''] I would know what his voice 'cause I would have heard it a few times before and I'm not really sure until I find the right pitch. And when that happens I would tell it to you right away. Ahh... Ahh... I think I'm nearly there. Aaa-ahhh... Kinda sounds like... I think I'm just about hitting it. Um... yeah. [''voice doesn't change at all, identical to his regular voice a little deeper''] I think he sounds kinda like this, I'm not really sure. I think this sounds real right, I'm not... I'd have to hear it again. This is pretty close, I think.
 '''Kacey:''' Say something one more time.
 '''Chris:''' I think I hit the note. Abouuut...
 '''Kacey:''' Because... all I really heard was you. You made him sound like you, but lower pitched. That... doesn't sound higher pitched.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think he sounds kinda like, uh... [''trying to impersonate Clyde - again, sounds identical to himself but a little deeper, speaking very, very rapidly''] Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Chris, what are you doin', man, I...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, you have a really high pitched voice too, and you're making him ''lower'' pitched, so...
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to find it...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Okay. I'll be patient.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm trying to find it... um... [''attempting to alter his voice, yet again''] If I knew the sound of the voice, I would get there. But I've heard it a number of times before. Ummmmhhhhhaaaaaa... yeah, I think I've just about got it... duuuhhhaaahhhh... Hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris. Heeeeyyyyy Chris, hey Chris, h-hey... I thi- I think I got it. I think... yeah, I think I got it, this is what he sounds like right here. [''Chris's voice has not changed at all, sounds exactly like himself.''] Listen to me right here, this is what he sounds like. Hey Chris, he-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts, talks over Chris''] So he sounds like you with a cold. Got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. That sounds about right. ...Good guess. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:'''[''pause''] ...Oookay.
 '''Chris:''' Like me with a cold... Heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' I like that. That's a fun comparison. [''laughs, clearly forcing it''] Huh huh huh. Huh huh huh. Ahh... that's fun. [''pause''] I mean, if he... Heh, you know, that's... I never thought of that before.

==Part 2==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 23 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|tzOZoo34ugc}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 24]]
}} </center>
 '''Kacey:''' [''giggles''] Well, you know, he seems like he means business, so, you know, I'd at least keep my eye on him. I mean, what else has he done? I mean, I'm sure he's done more.
 '''Chris:''' Well, let's see, I think I told you about the time he flew... about the time he said he flew to Australia and raped my Australian gal-pal and impregnated her...
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Oh. He... he did?
 '''Chris:''' Supposedly, yeah, but I'm not the latest in that, because you know... so many multiple identities. Like...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just 'cause he's assuming multiple identities doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean, that would be horrible for you to ignore someone being raped like that, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. It was hard for me to ignore.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you shouldn't have ignored it. Rape isn't something that should be ignored. I mean, she got raped, right?
 '''Chris:''' It happened... yeah, it did happen about last December or January.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway... but anyway, so, last time I heard it that poor girl got burned to death... got burned, got burned to death and died in that brush fire, so... In Australia that January.
 '''Kacey:''' That's horrible. So she got raped and then died?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I... I know, I was broken up by it too, I mean, I miss her.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh. I mean, okay. This guy really seems like he means business.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, well. It may or may not... it may, uh, it may just be... I mean, he may actually just ''sound'' like he means business, but... he may not actually have the business. I mean, you know, he may not actually have the skills to pay the bills, with that expression.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, he has hacked your stuff before, I mean, how can you say that? I mean, apparently he's got some skills.
 '''Chris:''' I, yeah... I mean, aside from trying to find a multiple identity and not finding much, I don't know that much about him.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if he could hide himself that well, he could probably take himself off stuff like that. I mean, especially if it's just google.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. ...He could take himself off?
 '''Kacey:''' It's really easy to get yourself off... taken away from, you know, like, web searches and all that.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, maybe you should ask your fans to help find him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' You know, maybe you can reform some trolls. Maybe they'll betray him. Maybe he's such a jerk, they don't like him either.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Bring in the trolls to try helping take down ''this'' troll?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they are trolls. They do do that. I mean, you've gotta use everything in your power, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. Alright, well, fortunately, I do have... I do know about the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] forums page, I do know that... I have it bookmarked. I could look in there, see if I could find some information about, ah... about the guy.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a good start. Maybe.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But, you know, Kim's helping me as well. She's doing searches on her own, her part.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, how do you know Clyde even goes there?
 '''Chris:''' What, to the elementary school in Kentucky?
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no, to the ED forums.
 '''Chris:''' Wh- ...It's a possibility. They do talk about him on there. Among all the other- among all the other things, and around... around, and involving me.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sigh''] I feel all worn out after tryin' to find that... find that pic- find that pitch where he sounds like...
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckles''] Well it happens...
 '''Chris:''' -like me with a cold, heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, exactly. You with a cold...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, heh... That was almost as hard as trying to find the, uh... find the... imitate Donald Duck for the first time.
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckle'']
 '''Chris:''' Took me a while, but I eventually got it. [''attempts imitating Donald Duck, sounds NOTHING like it''] Whoob, whoob, whoob! Whacka, wahh wahh! Donald Duck! [''quacking'']
 '''Kacey:''' ...Yep.
 '''Chris:''' Did you get that?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. I got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. It does take practice.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It ''does'' take practice. At least by default, I almost sound like Frank Sinatra.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' I do, seriously, I mean... you've heard Frank Sinatra, haven't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course I have.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you know he's got, like... the singing voice on the side, on the uh... with the high pitched... somewhere along with his deep tones. At least he has the... at least he has the power and the practice to balance between it and make good sounding tones for when he's playing his tracks.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Makes me think a little further, though. How I could sing a little better. Huh. [''sighs''] Anyw- anyway... pfew, I'm a little tired right now. If it's okay, I'm gonna go ahead and let you go, and I'll talk to you tomorrow night.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I shouldn't be at work ''too'' late tomorrow, so I should... I'll call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You take care and be safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you too. Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye. Bye-bye.
[''Call ends'']

==External links==

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bi6u4u7rxzg4alu mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 22

2012-01-29T03:30:13Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc92709.mp3

*[[Chris]] went to a couple's relationship class alone. He talked about the [[trolls]].
*Kim told Chris to make a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay|costume]], [[Kacey]] agreed. Chris doesn't want to because ignoring phone calls and drawing Sonichu is too much work already. Yes, that's his actual reasoning.
*Chris got an e-mail from Target telling him they will not be hiring him. He says he has been calling Target and asking to speak to the woman who interviewed him anyway. She has not returned the calls.
*Chris sells [[Guitar Hero]] and [[Rock Band]] guitars on eBay. He thinks Guitar Hero is better because that guitar sold for more.
*Chris thinks child molesters should get only five years in jail.
*Chris says he is okay with being molested as a child if it's a woman touching him, but if it was a man he would "kick his ass."
*Chris says that he is "loose on rape" because he "has never personally been raped."
*Chris talks for a few minutes about how he finds Meg hot and how he "would tap that." Kacey points out that Meg is fat - Chris says he considers her "average." Immediately after Kacey calls Meg fat, Chris says that he imagines Meg being 30 pounds lighter than Kacey. He doesn't seem to notice that this is insulting and directly implies that Kacey is overweight until she points it out.
*Chris says he ignores any [[homosexual]] part of ''Family Guy'' because "other aspects are enjoyable". He gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how ''Family Guy'' is pro-homo.
*Chris knows far too much about ''Family Guy'', going off and listing episodes where people act straight by individual season. Funny, considering he has no idea what a parody is and reveals earlier in the conversation he has no concept of the show's humor.
*Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people, but watches Family Guy despite its pro-homosexual creator. Kacey tells him this is a double standard - he ignores her.
*Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris. She then asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the [[Internet]] it's happened. Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
*Chris says that he has good [[fashion]] sense.
*Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
*Kacey says it's ok for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris lets out many stress sighs.
*Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
*Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|p6_IiU4bDr8}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 21]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, I'm ok. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. So whats uh- up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Uhmm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked?
 '''Kacey:''' A couple of days ago.
 '''Chris:''' A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well ok well I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... yeah yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Do we - I signed up for that class - I am saying I took the first one yesterday- I took the first one yesterday at- I guesstimate or- or- say the day before yesterday- No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh- it- it was good. Uhhh- learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about your self so... So uh mu- So it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh- and another student woman named Elizabeth about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered- I mean- I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well-But I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?
 '''Chris:''' Umh- Uh, They gave us some material even before the relationship, like, you know, how to talk- How to uh... how to so- How to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and what not. It's sorta like [[Dating Education]].
 '''Kacey:''' Mkay. So what have you learned?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I learned- Yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... yeah, It seems like s-although it was like- Although- You know like- I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way- in a few ways. We did a few- we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh- ourselves, our teachers did workshe-did our- did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh- but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the work sheets?
 '''Chris:''' Uhm... Yea-You know, like, uh... you know, like a one or- a few- a yes few little- few questions like, you know, like- like, you know- You could- rate how good you feel about your self or uh... or how are seen or like you see or you know how people see us a good friend or if you a little bit of confidence- err- if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you -do you know- do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt your self. But anyway, but like- In a possible 30 so- and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz- The teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah Wandea and Elizabeth they each- they both- they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean- it's just a couple of things like sometimes like- I did have lonely nights um...and, like, you know, I have a few concerns about how other people see me you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me some don't like me so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yo- You didn't talk about the trolls, did you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah- wasn't them- eh- this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh- I talked enough and we also, like, you know, anyways, like, you know, when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... You know- a know- an- on- Among the other two worksheets we talked about, like, you know, uh- summin- like, you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a-our likes and uh- dislikes and uh... about like- and like uh... what we would like- what we would like to be or what we are l- what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then- and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... How to better communicate with uh- other people... and uh- and the like... and associating, co-
 '''Kacey:''' What do you think this class is going to do for you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think it'll- I think it'll help me uh... maybe- I think it'll help- I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh- give me more- give me more things to- give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh- women- when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, but ye- yeah, before uh- 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure- I mean- but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet- quite a bit of low self-esteem.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a- I think after- I think after these classes I'll uh- feel- I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh- ma- and possibly better socialize in my adult life and... feel better about appoint- approaching women and talking to th- an' talking to them...
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Okay, well, anything else about the relationship class?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Only that, like, you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co- will-will-will-we'll-we'll be seeing them next class.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' That- and that uh- the next class will be on the uh- twenty-fourth of October... Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know- you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh- Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes- in Charlottesville... Uh- yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh- Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be- so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-
 '''Kacey:''' What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I said that the last class will be on October twenty-fourth, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim's- I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier, uh- she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-
 '''Kacey:''' I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You can stretch your creative muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh- wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, but... Yeah, anyway, I just- it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan... If I decide to make the costume, I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean w- you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv- or obviously Sonichu is not that important.
 '''Chris:''' Well, Sonichu ''is'' important... to me. Just I got so many fat- factors in life I, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but this is gonna be great PR!
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, I got- I'm going to try s- trying to socialize in real life, for one thing and trying- and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh- CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got- and also the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm still working on my room.
 '''Kacey:''' You should send me some pictures of progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh- called up uh- Target earlier today uh- try- tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me uh- She wasn't in, so I a- so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh- today or tomorrow. Depends on-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, good luck with that.
 '''Chris:''' Depends on when she comes in, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh- I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh- I felt the sense of a... and uh- feeling, like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly type person... but... and as for- but, you know- but I had somebody else ahead of me in the interview-wise uh- Any- Uh, so... I'm hoping I- I hope- I'm hoping I got the job, but uh... I'm just uh- having doubts, especially since, like, you know, uh- last Friday an email- rece- I received another email from Target saying, like, you know, "Yeah, we don't have any positions open for you yet." I think I- I'm not sure I- er a- if I told you or Kim about that email. But anyway uh- but anyway, I call Target today and I'll find out uh- from Melissa Mon- today or tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Oh! Somethin' else goin' on. You know I put my- I put my uh- Fender- my Meatwad Shredwad- sfender Stratocaster and my second PS3 Gibson guitar on eBay and I sold them both to the same person in the uh- Czech Republic uh- Yeah, I mean uh- you know, the uh- Stratocaster sold for the askin- for the starting bid of $29.99, but I mean- but for the Gibson guitar- I mean I started at $19.99... Anyway, all the way up to $69.99...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Well, that's ju- I guess that just shows you that Guitar Hero is definitely more popular than Rock Band. Heh heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Hn. But anyway, uh- Yeah, uh- so- Yeah, I talked to uh- the g- I talked to the uh- dude at- his name was Walter-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' -in the email. Yeah, he said that, like, you know, he's got a dot- he's got a daughter who's going to a university in Virginia, so he'll wire the mon- he'll wire the uh- money to her and then uh- you know, in person exchange of uh- the m- of the guitars for cash... And-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Oh! That's good. You don't have to pay shipping. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway uh- So anyway I talked to her- anyway I talked to her a little bit. Her name is Regina...
 '''Kacey:''' Uhah.
 '''Chris:''' And apparently she goes- she's going to uh- the University of Virginia, um- majoring in philosophy...
 '''Kacey:''' ...Oh, I guess that's great...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway- Yeah- Umm- I sent her another email, you know, telling her a little about myself and gave- gave her my uh- headshot... let her know what m- what I look like in the face.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yes, so she can identify you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh- I still have a- I mean I checked my email earlier today uh- she hadn't replied yet, but, you know. Uh- she just started over at UVA and, so she's been- so she's been busy with uh- with homework and whatnot.

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|yj51FbkbgI8}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </Center>
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. You know how college is.
 '''Chris:''' Yep... Oh, and I w- Oh, you know, a couple of other things on my mind uh- I watched the uh- watched the- I watched the wahoo(?) local Fox News earlier. You know we have a cute bear- you know we have cute bear? We have, like, three bears running around- shrunning around Charlottesville area? Uheh. Heh heh heh! It was like momma bear and her two cubs. Anyway, last Friday, they went up a tree across the street from this uh- Barville Firewood Middle School, and then uh- and then aft- they went down- after they got down from the tree that Friday night, they went across the street to the parking lot at that school and they hung around that school for the weekend and then they just left tonight and the funny thing is the b- that the school's mascot is a bear. AND THEY WERE VISITED BY THREE BEARS!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Haheh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah. Anyway- Anyway, no major damage. The bears- The bears were just visiting. Now they're over in uh- over somewhere in uh- Lore- Loreville, something like that around here. Um- Yeah. Anyway, gargle- Anyway, so the bears are another place now. Hm. Oh, and uh- another piece of news I heard about uh- cute- Oh, yeah. Roman Polanski. You know that- You know him?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' He directed the [[Duck|Piiiiaaaanist]]? Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Apparently, he was convic-ted years ago of drugging and having sex with a thirteen year-old girl and he finally got arrested for that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh!
 '''Chris:''' -He was hiding out in h- He was hiding out in Europe to get away from that. They finally caught him and arrested him...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I felt like he- I felt like he deserved that after what he did, I mean drugged and did that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah, I think child molesters should be burned alive!
 '''Chris:''' I agree... Wait a minute. Well, not burned alive, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no! I mean look what they're doing, I mean they're touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. They're invading their personal space, and not only that it's a child who can't defend themselves. I mean it's not good at any age, but it's even worse when they're children. I mean, like, why would you do that to someone, especially if you didn't know they wanted it? That's horrible!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is horrible. Hm. But, yeah, you said "burning," I mean that- I mean... Too many-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry. Those people have no souls, and I don't care what happens to them as long as it's painful, because what they did to that child will never go away and, so they need as much pain as possible.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean- Yes, it is appropriate to punish them, but uh- you know, I wouldn't exactly say "kill them."
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, you'd do it slowly. You know, maybe, maybe let them recover, and then do it again, because I mean... come on. What happens if you have Crystal, and someone does it to her? Don't you think you're going to want to kill them? Don't you think that you're going to want them to suffer?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I would feel the need to make them- I would feel the need to make that person suffer.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I don't want to think you're defending a child molester.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not- I'm not personally defending the child molest- I'm not defending the molester. I- I'm just saying that, like, you know, no need to kill him. Hu-ur-hu-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what do you think we should do?
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, yeah, he should definitely go to jail and serve his time, and maybe, like, and, like-
 '''Kacey:''' Why, so he can get out in five years for quote-unquote good behavior, so he can do it again?
 '''Chris:''' No- Not- No, I mean, like, sentence him for, like, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Like, pedophilia doesn't have a cure.
 '''Chris:''' I would say twenty- I would say sentence him for twenty years.
 '''Kacey:''' Twenty years is worth- NO! All the pain that person's going to go through, you think raping someone, especially a child, is only worth ''twenty years''!? The m- pain they're going to have to go through is only ''twenty years''!? Shouldn't it be life!? They took away that person's life, altered it for the rest of their life. Shouldn't they be in jail?
 '''Chris:''' Ur- Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Twenty years to life in jail. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' No! Not twenty years to life! They- They're useless to society. I mean how would you feel if someone touched you?
 '''Chris:''' If it was a woman, I would accept it, but if it was a dude, I'd slap it- I'd- I'd ki- I'd- I'd kick his ass.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No one should touch you if you don't want it period, dot, the end, especially not when you're a child. Whether a man or woman, doesn't make it right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. I hear you on- I hear you what- I hear what- I hear you. I was just uh- saying, since you brought up the question... Eh- I was just- I was just making sures- specifying the uh- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I-It doesn't matter, I mean [exasperated sigh]. It sounds like you wouldn't care at all, I mean that- I can't believe that. Just because it's a woman? Okay, when you're little, that doesn't matter. 'Cause rape is rape. We're n- We're not talking about consensual sex, we're talking about rape-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I- Yeah- Yeah, I understand we're talking about rape. Yeah. I mean- Yeah, I mean I'm just- I'm just a little bit loose about it right now, because, you know, I have never personally been raped, and uh- [talking over Kacey] and uh- If it is- I mean it does not happening right now-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I mean if you haven't been molested, that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to other people.
 '''Chris:''' -but- but- I'm j- na- a- bu- ye- I'm just saying- but, yeah. It's like- It's like- Yeah, I would definitely uh- be offended, and I would uh- want to make sure that person got life or uh- or something more appropriate-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said, I know you've never been molested or raped or anything, but you've got to try to see it from their point of view.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yep! Their point of view... Yeah, I w- Yeah... I would definitely be of- I would definitely be offended and not- and hurt. I would want that person... to be sentenced to life and imprisonment and jail and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! 'Cause I know it's never happened to you, and I know no one's molested or raped you, but if it happened to you when you were little, wouldn't you want them to be locked away? I mean wouldn't you feel fear if you knew that person was still out there?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I would be scared if I- if I knew that person was still out there.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should be thankful that you've never been molested or raped when you were a child.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thankful fo- I am thankful for that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean- Or even now. It doesn't matter how old you are.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... Hmm... Hmm... Mmkay, well, aside from that uh- Aheh. Heduh- hah- I went back to thinking about the bears. Heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter] Yeah! Going from that to bears, I guess. I don't see a logical way, but okay! [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' I-I was thinking about the comic for a little relief. Heh ha. Ah, a little comic relief. It's fun... Hm... Anyway, I'll wa- Alwee- Also- Anyway, earlier tonight, I watched the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But why don't you care? I mean you're just going back to bears. I mean this actually bothers me because these are things that, as a nurse, I'm going to have to deal with.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean this stuff happens every day. I mean go to a darkness to light website, look at it... I mean people-
 '''Chris:''' Lotta bad stuff.
 '''Kacey:''' -people a- children are molested by people that they trust whether it's family members or um- people in power, like, in schools, or doctors, or just random people-
 '''Chris:''' I hear you. I hear you... Yeah, I hear you, but I mean uh- I was just trying to uh- lighten things up after we've been talking dark for the past couple of minutes- for the past few minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' But that- But it's life, Chris! You can't just block out life!
 '''Chris:''' I'm- I'm not blocking it out.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you are. You don't want to talk about bad things. I get it. That's not very mature.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay, well, I mean- Yeah, I me- Yeah, I mean it is necessarily- necessary sometimes to uh- talk about dark things. It's not like we have to talk about them ''all the time''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're not talking about them all the time. It just came up. You're the one who brought it up.
 '''Chris:''' I mean j- I mean I was just bringing up, like, you know, that the Roman Polanski finally got arrested for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, then talk about something else.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uhnkay... Hn. Earlier tonight, I watched the- I uh- watched the uh- the season premieres to the uh- t-the uh- series premiere- the uh- first episode of The Cleveland Show, the new Family Guy, and American Dad.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! How did you like them?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh- Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh- It was just like uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Well, I don't really watch them anymore. What did you like the best? So, um, yeah, tell me any highlights.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I w- I'll- From The Cleveland Show, I mean, like, you know, yeah. Cleveland got his spin-off show now and uh- heh... And you know he's- I just thought it was good, yeah. You know, he uh- moved to his home town in Virginia aft-after his house in Quahog was taken by Loretta after the divorce was finally finalized. And uh- Cleveland Junior is fourteen years old now. I mean, if you watch the uh- classic Family Guy episodes, it'll show Cleveland Junior being little rascal. Heh-heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but anyway he's- anyway, he's fourteen and [[fat]]. C- uhh- Cleveland Junior is...
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm-
 '''Chris:''' They moved to- They mo- They uh- moved to Virginia... uh- even though their original plans were-they-were-gonna-go-California to uh- realize the dream of managing a- of uh- scou- of uh- being a s- on scout for a baseball team from California. And they turn around as they- and they end up moving- end the episode uh- to turn around and go back to Virgina, because Cleveland found his high school [[sweetheart]], and uh- and she ha- and she- yeah- with this uh- other dude that h- that pretty much stole her from him uh- from him, but uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, um, tell me about Family Guy, at least. I mean, Cleveland Show: whatever; I liked Quagmire better. I thought he'd be uh- you know, a better show.
 '''Chris:''' A'ight, but-
 '''Kacey:''' An-
 '''Chris:''' Aya mean Cleveland- Cleveland-
 '''Kacey:''' I- I at least know something about Family Guy, so tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, well, I mean Cleveland was from Family Guy and this is a spin-off from Family Guy for Cleveland.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know, but I don't really care. [scoffs]
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' So, go ahead and tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, they did another- they did another "Road to" mo- episode for Family Guy for the sixth released season premiere. They call it "Road to-
 '''Kacey:''' [sarcastic] Oh, how original! [laughs quietly]
 '''Chris:''' Uh- Not really- Not- I mean, you know, they done "Road to... E-" "Road to Rhode Island," "Rhode to Europe-"
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was sarcasm, but go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' And then- And then they did "Road to Germany" as well. Now they did uh- "Road to Multi-di... to Multi-dimension." They went to different dimensions, Setu- Stewie and Brian did.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' An' then- Yeah- They been- Dertrollafintfro dimensions, like, you know, they went- their first destination was, like, as if Christianity never existed, so the dark ages was skipped and everybody is- was advanced a thousand years... And uh- Apparently, like, you know, they had developed a pill that actually gets rid of aids. Like that. And Meg- And Meg is-
 '''Kacey:''' Well... But that doesn't even seem plausible, because there are plenty of places in this world that weren't touched by Christianity. But still...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway. Oh, they a- And they also... ga- also gave Meg a shiny moment. They made her... ''hot''. Heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Agh... Meg will never be hot, not even in that one episode where she was blonde. It's Meg.
 '''Chris:''' Uh- No- I- I mean she was, like, even hotter this episode.
 '''Kacey:''' Wow! Did they totally remake her character?
 '''Chris:''' Pretty much recreated her body style, yeah, only thinner, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I'm talking about her face. Her face, you know...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, her face does stay- stay a little bit of the same, but her body was different-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! So she was a butterface!
 '''Chris:''' A butterface?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Everything is nice, but her face?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Oh, her- I mean, it's, like, you know, her face is a little- I mean- Yeah, her face stayed the sa- face stayed the same. I mean, that's Meg... And she-
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly!
 '''Chris:''' -but I mean- Her body. Her body was different this time. Made her a little bit taller, gave her a 36D cup boobs. Heh! Put her in that- Put her in a pink tube top and denim sh-miniskirt, gave her tall boots, ma- and made her hair grow long-
 '''Kacey:''' So basically they made her an ugly whore...
==Part 3==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|WR9WX0Rluoo}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </Center>

 '''Kacey:''' Because her face stayed the same. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' No. No-no-no.
 '''Kacey:''' That's what it sounds like! All they did was change her from the chin down, so she just became a butterface whore. Good for her. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh- in that dimension she's still the ugly one by comparison and uh- Stewie made the joke, saying, like, you know, if uh- Brian would still look at Lois, he would have to uh- he would have to put his dick in a wheelbarrow. He carries it off in a wheelbarrow... I know- I mean I d- I didn't really- I mean, it's, like, you know- I naw- I wa- Dawshna- I not sure if I got that myself um... But, you know, I thawaspozu- that was a joke there.
 '''Kacey:''' [fake laugh]
 '''Chris:''' You find- I'm sure you can find the clip on YouTube now.
 '''Kacey:''' I'll- I'll- I'll um... I'll look, but I mean uh- it's just a cartoon, you know. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, other- Anyway, among the- among dimensions aside from that one... Yeah. They a- They did- They went to another dimension- They we- Among the uh- dimensions- Another one- Another one I liked. They uh- went to another dimension where is like everything was drawn by Disney. And they put- And they put Lois in Snow White's outfit.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' And uh- is was like- It was just- It was jus- iwasjus- iwasjus- hawasjuz- It was just fun to look at that Disney rendition. Hehe-heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' It just- it just, like, just made the, you know, made the characters a little and more near... more realistic in the facial expressions and all that. 'Cept for, like, except for the Disney version Meg, of Meg, they made her like Ursla from the Little Mermaid.
 '''Kacey:''' Hahaha! That so fits her!
 '''Chris:''' Um... I mean, I felt that that was downright... I mean downright bad, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' No, she fits the jealous sea hag.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. ...Hm. ...Whatever, anyway, she's still Meg, but they made her... fatter but they gave her- they gave her Ursla's tentacles.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I would think so, but I mean don't whatever me, because I mean, come on, it's true, Meg is the character that is always dumped on. I mean, of course she's going to be like that. They make her such a wimpy little... whiny emo kid anyway.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Okay, well, I will not argue with you on that. In general, though, she's still a likable person and I just... feel sorry for her for being picked on like that like, you know, why? I think she looks good.
 '''Kacey:''' W-wait, why do you like her so much?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know. I think it's like, one thing, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, is Meg like your ideal girl? ...I mean, even though she's a cartoon.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, at least she's like, a human character.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's not what I'm asking you. Is she like your ideal girl?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, add a year to her because last time t-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, I'm not talking about her age. I'm talking about how she looks.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I d- I would, I mean, I mean just kind of the looks... buuut, if I didn't think about the age too much... yeah, I would tap her. I would do that to her.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay! Because I mean, you know... you're pretty, um... into people's weight, and she's kind of fat.
 '''Chris:''' I- I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean I'm into, uh... I am into thin women as well but I mean like, you know, you have to figure out today's society... I mean, I'll take a, uh, a woman who's uh, slim to average, body type.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Meg is... extremely not average. She is, um-
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt] Well, no, no, not that-
 '''Kacey:''' -beyond average. Yes she is!
 '''Chris:''' She's average.
 '''Kacey:''' No, she's not average!
 '''Chris:''' I think she's average.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughing] No, she's not average, Chris. That's the whole point of her.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, look, compare her body, her original body, to Peter. Now ''he's'' fat. And then compare her to Lois-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! It's a joke about Megan's character! She's supposed to be the fat little dumpy geek chick.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, I'm just- I'm just letting you know. I do not think she's fat. I think that her body type is average.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. If she were a real person, how much do you think she'd weigh?
 '''Chris:''' I would say she would probably weigh about... somewhere between... 145 and 160.
 '''Kacey:''' So you think I would weigh more than Meg.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I did not say that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. You say that... you think that I weigh 190 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I did not say that you weigh 190 pounds. I said-
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. Oh, yes you did.
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, okay, maybe I did, when we were talking in the past conversation. Mm... but I, but... I did not mean to insult you. I mean, we were just talking about Meg.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah, but her character is made to be bigger than mine. She has no curves, she's blocky... I mean, come on, Chris. That's just kind of insulting. I guess you just can't get that kind of humor as well. I guess you just don't get the show.
 '''Chris:''' I do get the show. I just, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm surprised you watch it. Because ''I'' heard that Stewie is openly gay now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm saying- I'm taking it... I'm ignoring that fact. I mean, I don't care, it's still a good show.
 '''Kacey:''' It's part of the show. I mean, that's just part of the show, Meg's just part of the show too, but... heh, anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I do, I just, I mean... I just basically ignore those parts. I ignore those homosexual parts.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, there's some, I mean, there's so many other aspects in the show that are still enjoyable.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if it's just a joke, why wouldn't it be enjoyable?
 '''Chris:''' Well, there's still- there's still a lot of good, adult humor in there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, if Stewie went from evil genius to gay. So... I mean, obviously the creator of Family Guy is okay with a homosexual life style. I mean, he's supporting it.
 '''Chris:''' N-not necessarily. He's definitely putting in straight points as well. He's definitely emphasizing the straight. I mean... [long pause] I mean, Quagmire bangin' a bunch of women, Cleveland had Loretta, Joe has Bonnie, and of course Peter has Lois. And he made Chris go out in se-season seven with... oh shoot, that blonde that high school that bullied Meg... Connie. He m- he let Chris go out with Connie DeMico. And also made hi- also let him have a crush on Barbara, in that early episode. That was season three.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but, anyway, and also, like- and also that... and also that same episode, that southern Dixie girl. Dixie: D-I-X-I-E. Just wanted to make sure that I... I understood that, that's what I said. And then there's the episode where they moved down south for a while.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh. Oh, the one that looked like a boy?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Right?
 '''Chris:''' I... I like... I mean yeah. At first, gave the appearance of being a boy, but in reality was a girl. [pause] And then there was, there was the episode where... where mine was... Yeah, it was the, yeah, uh, the episode where, uh, Adam West was trying to distract everyone from the Diggum(?) statue scam by, uh, banning homosexual marriage in Quohog.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was a joke. That he totally supports homosexual lifestyle. That was a joke.
 '''Chris:''' [stuttering wildly, trying desperately to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' That was a ''parody.'' A ''real'' parody.
 '''Chris:''' W-w-anyway, going back to the... going back to Chris, uh... g-go out with that girl, he was trying to impress in that episode. So... and also, you know, that Meg was tr- was try- w-was flirting with th- with the boys. And actually Meg went out with a few boys in a few episodes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it just seems like the show has gone downhill, but you should really look up the creator's political views. Because he... definitely, definitely is very liberal and he definitely supports a homosexual relationship.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm not judging Seth McFarlane's opinion on that. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' You judge everyone else's. You... told me yourself that you weren't drinking- I don't remember which soda it was, because of that, so why would you watch ''Family Guy''?
 '''Chris:''' I liked ''Family Guy'' since the beginning!
 '''Kacey:''' And you liked the soda too! And Family Guy is doing more to push a homosexual lifestyle than that soda was. He is furthering his pro-homosexual agenda through the show.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I tol-I toldja I turned the channel when they show those homosexual scenes.
 '''Kacey:''' Buuut... Okay, you, you're being shown homosexual scenes, but you won't drink a ''sooooda'' over something that you can't see.
 '''Chris:''' [''long'' pause, sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you can't have double standards.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... I think I've established this before, but... Yeah, I do not... I do not care about the homosexual lifestyle... and I am, I am willing to associate... I mean in like, uh, in a like, uh, be friends with homosexuals. But-
 '''Kacey:''' But then why would you stop drinking a soda over it then?
 '''Chris:''' I would not want them to get too close to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Trust me, they would not get too close to you. Number one, you're not a gay guy's type. They like people who... dress a lot better... um, and, you just wouldn't be the type. Um... let's see here. Second off, they know who's straight and who isn't, and trust me, they're not interested in straight boys.
 '''Chris:''' Um, yeah, that's honest-
 '''Kacey:''' They're very into... a very polished, handsome look.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't care, I, um, well I mean, okay, well, you don't have to tell, you don't have to tell me about from their point of view, I mean, uh, I don't care about from their point of view, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just telling you they wouldn't hit on you, they wouldn't want you. So you have nothing to worry about.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh, okay, well... Okay, well, I guess I-
 '''Kacey:''' According to gay people, you wouldn't be good enough for them. They are out of y-your league.
 '''Chris:''' Good, I would not, I would never want to be, I would never want to be that way with any of them anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! So it's fine, because you'd be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, I'd be a what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to them, you would be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' A step ''down''?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure, I, I feel, I feel like, uh, that's, uh, I feel like that's some sort of an insult right there.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just saying you aren't gay people's types.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, still, I-I mean I understand that, but I'm just saying, a step down? It just sounds like an insult to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's the thing. It's like, gay people wouldn't hit on you. Don't be insulted unless you want them to hit on you. I mean, have they ever hit on you before?
 '''Chris:''' Over the internet, I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's just over the internet. But the thing is, trust me, they're not going to hit on you in real life. I mean, saying you won't get close to them is insulting to them. But I'm just trying to reassure you that it's not going to happen.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I mean, I-I understand that, and I appreciate that, but I'm just letting you know that a step down sounds like an insult to me. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, don't worry about it unless you want them to hit on you.
 '''Chris:''' [tries constantly to interrupt] I mean, I mean, I mean, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' You should be happy they feel that way.
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay, I'm talking about, you know...
<Center>
==Part 4==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|k8Zd7TlU1qI}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 23]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' if a homosexual thinks, if a homosexual thinks that I'm a step down, how does that make me feel about how women would see me in that sense? Women.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, you see, maybe... maybe you should think about that, 'cause like, women like polished guys, too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, if you're saying that homosexuals think I'm a step down, that sounds like, to me, that sounds like, you know, women might think I'm a step down.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but ju- We're talking about homosexuals, not women. Two different things. I mean, you're acting like you want gay people to hit on you. I mean, women and gay people aren't the same.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay well, I did-I did not mean to imply either of those. I'm, I'm just saying. [''pause, followed by a sigh''] I mean, still, I mean like... I-It would be, it would be insulting to me if women said I was a step down to them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're talking about homosexuals, not women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I'm changing the subject over, I'm just chang-I'm just chang- I'm just saying how I feel if women called me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but it has nothing to do with that and I didn't say that. I mean, do you think women think that you're a step down? Is that what this is about?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, for a while, I have been getting that impression.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe you should change that. What do you think that you could change about yourself to make you not a step down? I mean, have any women hit on you in real life?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah. For a- yeah, a few- a few- a few times back in, like, high and middle, about middle and high school. And, uh, but ever since I left high school and, uh... [pause] Yeah. Like, every woman's already taken. And that's why, that's why I feel-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they're just saying that. I mean it is a nice, polite way to let someone down. I mean, if you think that you're a step down for women, what do you think you could do to change yourself? What do you think is so, um, bad that they don't want to be with you?
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, I mean, one thing definite- one thing I'm sure of, and at least I'm working on it to improve it. You know, my... my buddha belly. At least I'm exercising more often to put, to take that down. Trim down there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what about your personality? I mean, a lot of women do go for personality.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Kacey:''' You think there's anything in that you can change?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Like, I could be more confident.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe it's also the way that you approach women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, by that, and by that, I also mean less shy.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Because, because like, for a long time in my sweetheart search, I have been shy. Hmm. Ah, let's see, what else... I mean, I mean, I dress, I dress okay. I wear solid colors.
 '''Kacey:''' Solid colors doesn't mean anything. It's all about the cut of your clothes. But, um, anyway, like, I guess, do you get nervous with women? Like, maybe that makes you mess up.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, 'cause sometimes I, uh, just feel like, I mean like, you know. I mean... yeah. Obviously, I did- I did- I have not gone out with women that much, so, it's like... You know. And I'm wanting to go out with women. [''stutters horribly''] ...Having the mindset of like, you know, being friends first. And, uh, I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' Most of the time when you're friends first with a girl, you're in the friendzone, and you're screwed.
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses, then sighs''] Yeah, I know-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, women usually know within... five minutes whether they're going to date somebody or not.
 '''Chris:''' They know within five minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, they know they're going to be attracted to that person or not. Like, if you immediately get in the friendzone, you probably don't have a prayer. Maybe you should go do some more things, like, the relationship classes are a great start, but...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, but, I mean, in general- in general, I do consider myself a friendly person. Since like, you know, sometimes I feel like, uh, when I'm stressed, I can be defensive. And, uh, yeah, when I, there's the nervousness there, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' And other things. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, uh... Yeah, I try not to, I try to keep my voice in a calm tone, not raise it. Um-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it's gotta be something else. Do you get, maybe, um, I don't know. I mean, girls like a manly man. Do you think you're manly enough? I mean, are you manly or more effeminate? Because sometimes soft voices can be more effeminate.
 '''Chris:''' I-I'm sorry. I didn't understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' It- You mean, you have a soft, quiet voice? Girls could see that as effeminate and that you don't have any real power. I mean, 'cause girls want a nice guy, too, but they also want a guy. Like, an actual ''guy'' guy.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I do feel like- I am a man. And I am sometimes manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, a girl wants a guy that's manly all the time. They want somebody that's gonna be able to protect them, that they're going to feel safe and secure with.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] And I, and that characteristic, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you seem to need a woman more than they need you. Like, you tell them you want to be a house husband, they're gonna laugh at you, they're gonna be like, "Oh my god, you're not a guy!" They're going to assume you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, that's stupid.
 '''Kacey:''' It's not stupid, I wouldn't want a house husband. I would want a man, I would want a ''husband''. I mean, I would like him to help out with housework and everything, but I would like to be on equal footing. I would want somebody who would protect me.
 '''Chris:''' I would protect you. Um, I mean, I would protect you or any woman that I know. I... I would, I seriously would!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I mean, but if you say you're going to be a house husband, that doesn't really give that idea. Plus, you know, you would have to be fit and menacing, you know? It-it's just, you know... Girls are going to, uh, you know, they're just going to judge that, because I mean, most house husbands are mostly married to another husband.
 '''Chris:''''' Ugh''... Okay, well, I guess I should, uh, find a new term meaning to like, you know, I would, instead, not house husband, but I mean... like you know, well...
 '''Kacey:''' Like, a girl's going to want you to get a job and be the man. I mean, come on, even you should know this just from Christian principles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I have- I have that general understanding.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you don't sound like you do.
 '''Chris:''' I do.
 '''Kacey:''' And, I mean, these days couples have both people working. They're on equal footing. It's wonderful.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, there are- there are couples where the woman goes to work and, uh, the husband stays home and takes care of the things at home.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, how many do you think there really are? I mean, 'cause that's not very big. I'm going to tell you that right now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I-I mean, yeah, I agree, I will not argue with you on that. I, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' And most of those men have more effeminate personalities. Or they get divorced really quickly. I mean, they could, most of them, probably bisexuals at least.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs''] I guess one thing I would definitely need to improve on is to become- to become more manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I wouldn't even know where to begin on that. I mean, I have- I have watched horror films and, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Horror films aren't going to do anything. Everyone dies in those. Like, go watch football, go try to hang out with other guys, I mean, be more aggressive with the trolls. And if you can't even deal with them, you can't deal with anything else. I mean, get rid of anything girly you have, 'cause that's not going to help you. I mean, 'cause wives cheat on girly men because eventually they're going to want a real man. They're not going to want someone who has My Little Ponies in his room.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' So that's another thing. I think that you should go take pictures of your room, I wanna make sure you're actually making progress. Because this is what you need to be doing. Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Hmm. Uh, let me ask you though, do you think it would be a good idea, I thought about this before... male hormone replacement pills?
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you think you need them?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, I mean, I just figured it's a possibility. You know, I might need to, I might- I might need more male hormones in me, I might- I might not have- I might just, I mean like, I co- I'm probably on equal footing between male, between my x and y chromosomes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it has nothing to do with your chromosomes, it has to do with your hormones, estrogen, and testosterone. But either way, go to the doctor, because you might need to get tested. I actually know someone who has to take more testosterone, and it'll take care of some things. So, you need to go do that because that might be a great idea.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, I'm sorry, I did not understand. Uh, what was that? Get tested for what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to see if you have low testosterone? Because that may be, that may actually be a problem and that would be a good thing. I think you should do it. I think you should go talk to your doctor about it.
 '''Chris:''' Testosterone test... Alright. I'll talk to my doctor about that.
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] But yeah, I think that's a great idea. I mean, 'cause then you could get strong and do you think trolls go after strong people?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do not- I do not think trolls would not- I do not think trolls would not go out after strong people because strong people would be a l- they wo- they trolls would feel intimidated.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, they go for the weak and helpless, you need to stop being weak and helpless. You need to be stronger and manlier, so I think you should talk to your doctor about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' Anyway, you should probably go Google it, so I'm gonna let you do that, go take some pictures of your room, do what you need to do. I've got to get up for school in the morning, so I'm gonna go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright, well, also I wanted to let you know, you know, if you have any troubles of your own on your half, you know, I have- I will- I will always have an ear open for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, thank you! I'll be sure to, uh, to um, keep that in mind.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you just keep that in mind. Alright, I wanted to remind you of that. I- I- I was reminded of that earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, thank you so much, and um, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye!
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
 [Call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ixzcy3c9z2ovpk5 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 22

2012-01-29T03:28:44Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc92709.mp3

*[[Chris]] went to a couple's relationship class alone. He talked about the [[trolls]].
*Kim told Chris to make a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay|costume]], [[Kacey]] agreed. Chris doesn't want to because ignoring phone calls and drawing Sonichu is too much work already. Yes, that's his actual reasoning.
*Chris got an e-mail from Target telling him they will not be hiring him. He says he has been calling Target and asking to speak to the woman who interviewed him anyway. She has not returned the calls.
*Chris sells [[Guitar Hero]] and [[Rock Band]] guitars on eBay. He thinks Guitar Hero is better because that guitar sold for more.
*Chris thinks child molesters should get only five years in jail.
*Chris says he is okay with being molested as a child if it's a woman touching him, but if it was a man he would "kick his ass."
*Chris says that he is "loose on rape" because he "has never personally been raped."
*Chris talks for a few minutes about how he finds Meg hot and how he "would tap that." Kacey points out that Meg is fat - Chris says he considers her "average." Immediately after Kacey calls Meg fat, Chris says that he imagines Meg being 30 pounds lighter than Kacey. He doesn't seem to notice that this is insulting and directly implies that Kacey is overweight until she points it out.
*Chris says he ignores any [[homosexual]] part of ''Family Guy'' because "other aspects are enjoyable". He gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how ''Family Guy'' is pro-homo.
*Chris knows far too much about ''Family Guy'', going off and listing episodes where people act straight by individual season. Funny, considering he has no idea what a parody is and reveals earlier in the conversation he has no concept of the show's humor.
*Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people, but watches Family Guy despite its pro-homosexual creator. Kacey tells him this is a double standard - he ignores her.
*Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris. She then asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the [[Internet]] it's happened. Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
*Chris says that he has good [[fashion]] sense.
*Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
*Kacey says it's ok for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris lets out many stress sighs.
*Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
*Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|#p6_IiU4bDr8}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 21]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, I'm ok. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. So whats uh- up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Uhmm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked?
 '''Kacey:''' A couple of days ago.
 '''Chris:''' A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well ok well I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... yeah yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Do we - I signed up for that class - I am saying I took the first one yesterday- I took the first one yesterday at- I guesstimate or- or- say the day before yesterday- No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh- it- it was good. Uhhh- learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about your self so... So uh mu- So it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh- and another student woman named Elizabeth about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered- I mean- I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well-But I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?
 '''Chris:''' Umh- Uh, They gave us some material even before the relationship, like, you know, how to talk- How to uh... how to so- How to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and what not. It's sorta like [[Dating Education]].
 '''Kacey:''' Mkay. So what have you learned?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I learned- Yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... yeah, It seems like s-although it was like- Although- You know like- I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way- in a few ways. We did a few- we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh- ourselves, our teachers did workshe-did our- did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh- but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the work sheets?
 '''Chris:''' Uhm... Yea-You know, like, uh... you know, like a one or- a few- a yes few little- few questions like, you know, like- like, you know- You could- rate how good you feel about your self or uh... or how are seen or like you see or you know how people see us a good friend or if you a little bit of confidence- err- if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you -do you know- do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt your self. But anyway, but like- In a possible 30 so- and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz- The teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah Wandea and Elizabeth they each- they both- they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean- it's just a couple of things like sometimes like- I did have lonely nights um...and, like, you know, I have a few concerns about how other people see me you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me some don't like me so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yo- You didn't talk about the trolls, did you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah- wasn't them- eh- this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh- I talked enough and we also, like, you know, anyways, like, you know, when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... You know- a know- an- on- Among the other two worksheets we talked about, like, you know, uh- summin- like, you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a-our likes and uh- dislikes and uh... about like- and like uh... what we would like- what we would like to be or what we are l- what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then- and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... How to better communicate with uh- other people... and uh- and the like... and associating, co-
 '''Kacey:''' What do you think this class is going to do for you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think it'll- I think it'll help me uh... maybe- I think it'll help- I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh- give me more- give me more things to- give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh- women- when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, but ye- yeah, before uh- 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure- I mean- but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet- quite a bit of low self-esteem.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a- I think after- I think after these classes I'll uh- feel- I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh- ma- and possibly better socialize in my adult life and... feel better about appoint- approaching women and talking to th- an' talking to them...
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Okay, well, anything else about the relationship class?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Only that, like, you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co- will-will-will-we'll-we'll be seeing them next class.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' That- and that uh- the next class will be on the uh- twenty-fourth of October... Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know- you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh- Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes- in Charlottesville... Uh- yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh- Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be- so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-
 '''Kacey:''' What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I said that the last class will be on October twenty-fourth, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim's- I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier, uh- she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-
 '''Kacey:''' I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You can stretch your creative muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh- wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, but... Yeah, anyway, I just- it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan... If I decide to make the costume, I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean w- you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv- or obviously Sonichu is not that important.
 '''Chris:''' Well, Sonichu ''is'' important... to me. Just I got so many fat- factors in life I, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but this is gonna be great PR!
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, I got- I'm going to try s- trying to socialize in real life, for one thing and trying- and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh- CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got- and also the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm still working on my room.
 '''Kacey:''' You should send me some pictures of progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh- called up uh- Target earlier today uh- try- tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me uh- She wasn't in, so I a- so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh- today or tomorrow. Depends on-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, good luck with that.
 '''Chris:''' Depends on when she comes in, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh- I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh- I felt the sense of a... and uh- feeling, like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly type person... but... and as for- but, you know- but I had somebody else ahead of me in the interview-wise uh- Any- Uh, so... I'm hoping I- I hope- I'm hoping I got the job, but uh... I'm just uh- having doubts, especially since, like, you know, uh- last Friday an email- rece- I received another email from Target saying, like, you know, "Yeah, we don't have any positions open for you yet." I think I- I'm not sure I- er a- if I told you or Kim about that email. But anyway uh- but anyway, I call Target today and I'll find out uh- from Melissa Mon- today or tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Oh! Somethin' else goin' on. You know I put my- I put my uh- Fender- my Meatwad Shredwad- sfender Stratocaster and my second PS3 Gibson guitar on eBay and I sold them both to the same person in the uh- Czech Republic uh- Yeah, I mean uh- you know, the uh- Stratocaster sold for the askin- for the starting bid of $29.99, but I mean- but for the Gibson guitar- I mean I started at $19.99... Anyway, all the way up to $69.99...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Well, that's ju- I guess that just shows you that Guitar Hero is definitely more popular than Rock Band. Heh heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Hn. But anyway, uh- Yeah, uh- so- Yeah, I talked to uh- the g- I talked to the uh- dude at- his name was Walter-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' -in the email. Yeah, he said that, like, you know, he's got a dot- he's got a daughter who's going to a university in Virginia, so he'll wire the mon- he'll wire the uh- money to her and then uh- you know, in person exchange of uh- the m- of the guitars for cash... And-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Oh! That's good. You don't have to pay shipping. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway uh- So anyway I talked to her- anyway I talked to her a little bit. Her name is Regina...
 '''Kacey:''' Uhah.
 '''Chris:''' And apparently she goes- she's going to uh- the University of Virginia, um- majoring in philosophy...
 '''Kacey:''' ...Oh, I guess that's great...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway- Yeah- Umm- I sent her another email, you know, telling her a little about myself and gave- gave her my uh- headshot... let her know what m- what I look like in the face.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yes, so she can identify you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh- I still have a- I mean I checked my email earlier today uh- she hadn't replied yet, but, you know. Uh- she just started over at UVA and, so she's been- so she's been busy with uh- with homework and whatnot.

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|#yj51FbkbgI8}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </Center>
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. You know how college is.
 '''Chris:''' Yep... Oh, and I w- Oh, you know, a couple of other things on my mind uh- I watched the uh- watched the- I watched the wahoo(?) local Fox News earlier. You know we have a cute bear- you know we have cute bear? We have, like, three bears running around- shrunning around Charlottesville area? Uheh. Heh heh heh! It was like momma bear and her two cubs. Anyway, last Friday, they went up a tree across the street from this uh- Barville Firewood Middle School, and then uh- and then aft- they went down- after they got down from the tree that Friday night, they went across the street to the parking lot at that school and they hung around that school for the weekend and then they just left tonight and the funny thing is the b- that the school's mascot is a bear. AND THEY WERE VISITED BY THREE BEARS!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Haheh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah. Anyway- Anyway, no major damage. The bears- The bears were just visiting. Now they're over in uh- over somewhere in uh- Lore- Loreville, something like that around here. Um- Yeah. Anyway, gargle- Anyway, so the bears are another place now. Hm. Oh, and uh- another piece of news I heard about uh- cute- Oh, yeah. Roman Polanski. You know that- You know him?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' He directed the [[Duck|Piiiiaaaanist]]? Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Apparently, he was convic-ted years ago of drugging and having sex with a thirteen year-old girl and he finally got arrested for that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh!
 '''Chris:''' -He was hiding out in h- He was hiding out in Europe to get away from that. They finally caught him and arrested him...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I felt like he- I felt like he deserved that after what he did, I mean drugged and did that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah, I think child molesters should be burned alive!
 '''Chris:''' I agree... Wait a minute. Well, not burned alive, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no! I mean look what they're doing, I mean they're touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. They're invading their personal space, and not only that it's a child who can't defend themselves. I mean it's not good at any age, but it's even worse when they're children. I mean, like, why would you do that to someone, especially if you didn't know they wanted it? That's horrible!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is horrible. Hm. But, yeah, you said "burning," I mean that- I mean... Too many-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry. Those people have no souls, and I don't care what happens to them as long as it's painful, because what they did to that child will never go away and, so they need as much pain as possible.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean- Yes, it is appropriate to punish them, but uh- you know, I wouldn't exactly say "kill them."
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, you'd do it slowly. You know, maybe, maybe let them recover, and then do it again, because I mean... come on. What happens if you have Crystal, and someone does it to her? Don't you think you're going to want to kill them? Don't you think that you're going to want them to suffer?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I would feel the need to make them- I would feel the need to make that person suffer.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I don't want to think you're defending a child molester.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not- I'm not personally defending the child molest- I'm not defending the molester. I- I'm just saying that, like, you know, no need to kill him. Hu-ur-hu-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what do you think we should do?
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, yeah, he should definitely go to jail and serve his time, and maybe, like, and, like-
 '''Kacey:''' Why, so he can get out in five years for quote-unquote good behavior, so he can do it again?
 '''Chris:''' No- Not- No, I mean, like, sentence him for, like, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Like, pedophilia doesn't have a cure.
 '''Chris:''' I would say twenty- I would say sentence him for twenty years.
 '''Kacey:''' Twenty years is worth- NO! All the pain that person's going to go through, you think raping someone, especially a child, is only worth ''twenty years''!? The m- pain they're going to have to go through is only ''twenty years''!? Shouldn't it be life!? They took away that person's life, altered it for the rest of their life. Shouldn't they be in jail?
 '''Chris:''' Ur- Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Twenty years to life in jail. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' No! Not twenty years to life! They- They're useless to society. I mean how would you feel if someone touched you?
 '''Chris:''' If it was a woman, I would accept it, but if it was a dude, I'd slap it- I'd- I'd ki- I'd- I'd kick his ass.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No one should touch you if you don't want it period, dot, the end, especially not when you're a child. Whether a man or woman, doesn't make it right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. I hear you on- I hear you what- I hear what- I hear you. I was just uh- saying, since you brought up the question... Eh- I was just- I was just making sures- specifying the uh- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I-It doesn't matter, I mean [exasperated sigh]. It sounds like you wouldn't care at all, I mean that- I can't believe that. Just because it's a woman? Okay, when you're little, that doesn't matter. 'Cause rape is rape. We're n- We're not talking about consensual sex, we're talking about rape-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I- Yeah- Yeah, I understand we're talking about rape. Yeah. I mean- Yeah, I mean I'm just- I'm just a little bit loose about it right now, because, you know, I have never personally been raped, and uh- [talking over Kacey] and uh- If it is- I mean it does not happening right now-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I mean if you haven't been molested, that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to other people.
 '''Chris:''' -but- but- I'm j- na- a- bu- ye- I'm just saying- but, yeah. It's like- It's like- Yeah, I would definitely uh- be offended, and I would uh- want to make sure that person got life or uh- or something more appropriate-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said, I know you've never been molested or raped or anything, but you've got to try to see it from their point of view.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yep! Their point of view... Yeah, I w- Yeah... I would definitely be of- I would definitely be offended and not- and hurt. I would want that person... to be sentenced to life and imprisonment and jail and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! 'Cause I know it's never happened to you, and I know no one's molested or raped you, but if it happened to you when you were little, wouldn't you want them to be locked away? I mean wouldn't you feel fear if you knew that person was still out there?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I would be scared if I- if I knew that person was still out there.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should be thankful that you've never been molested or raped when you were a child.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thankful fo- I am thankful for that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean- Or even now. It doesn't matter how old you are.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... Hmm... Hmm... Mmkay, well, aside from that uh- Aheh. Heduh- hah- I went back to thinking about the bears. Heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter] Yeah! Going from that to bears, I guess. I don't see a logical way, but okay! [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' I-I was thinking about the comic for a little relief. Heh ha. Ah, a little comic relief. It's fun... Hm... Anyway, I'll wa- Alwee- Also- Anyway, earlier tonight, I watched the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But why don't you care? I mean you're just going back to bears. I mean this actually bothers me because these are things that, as a nurse, I'm going to have to deal with.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean this stuff happens every day. I mean go to a darkness to light website, look at it... I mean people-
 '''Chris:''' Lotta bad stuff.
 '''Kacey:''' -people a- children are molested by people that they trust whether it's family members or um- people in power, like, in schools, or doctors, or just random people-
 '''Chris:''' I hear you. I hear you... Yeah, I hear you, but I mean uh- I was just trying to uh- lighten things up after we've been talking dark for the past couple of minutes- for the past few minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' But that- But it's life, Chris! You can't just block out life!
 '''Chris:''' I'm- I'm not blocking it out.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you are. You don't want to talk about bad things. I get it. That's not very mature.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay, well, I mean- Yeah, I me- Yeah, I mean it is necessarily- necessary sometimes to uh- talk about dark things. It's not like we have to talk about them ''all the time''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're not talking about them all the time. It just came up. You're the one who brought it up.
 '''Chris:''' I mean j- I mean I was just bringing up, like, you know, that the Roman Polanski finally got arrested for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, then talk about something else.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uhnkay... Hn. Earlier tonight, I watched the- I uh- watched the uh- the season premieres to the uh- t-the uh- series premiere- the uh- first episode of The Cleveland Show, the new Family Guy, and American Dad.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! How did you like them?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh- Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh- It was just like uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Well, I don't really watch them anymore. What did you like the best? So, um, yeah, tell me any highlights.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I w- I'll- From The Cleveland Show, I mean, like, you know, yeah. Cleveland got his spin-off show now and uh- heh... And you know he's- I just thought it was good, yeah. You know, he uh- moved to his home town in Virginia aft-after his house in Quahog was taken by Loretta after the divorce was finally finalized. And uh- Cleveland Junior is fourteen years old now. I mean, if you watch the uh- classic Family Guy episodes, it'll show Cleveland Junior being little rascal. Heh-heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but anyway he's- anyway, he's fourteen and [[fat]]. C- uhh- Cleveland Junior is...
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm-
 '''Chris:''' They moved to- They mo- They uh- moved to Virginia... uh- even though their original plans were-they-were-gonna-go-California to uh- realize the dream of managing a- of uh- scou- of uh- being a s- on scout for a baseball team from California. And they turn around as they- and they end up moving- end the episode uh- to turn around and go back to Virgina, because Cleveland found his high school [[sweetheart]], and uh- and she ha- and she- yeah- with this uh- other dude that h- that pretty much stole her from him uh- from him, but uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, um, tell me about Family Guy, at least. I mean, Cleveland Show: whatever; I liked Quagmire better. I thought he'd be uh- you know, a better show.
 '''Chris:''' A'ight, but-
 '''Kacey:''' An-
 '''Chris:''' Aya mean Cleveland- Cleveland-
 '''Kacey:''' I- I at least know something about Family Guy, so tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, well, I mean Cleveland was from Family Guy and this is a spin-off from Family Guy for Cleveland.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know, but I don't really care. [scoffs]
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' So, go ahead and tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, they did another- they did another "Road to" mo- episode for Family Guy for the sixth released season premiere. They call it "Road to-
 '''Kacey:''' [sarcastic] Oh, how original! [laughs quietly]
 '''Chris:''' Uh- Not really- Not- I mean, you know, they done "Road to... E-" "Road to Rhode Island," "Rhode to Europe-"
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was sarcasm, but go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' And then- And then they did "Road to Germany" as well. Now they did uh- "Road to Multi-di... to Multi-dimension." They went to different dimensions, Setu- Stewie and Brian did.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' An' then- Yeah- They been- Dertrollafintfro dimensions, like, you know, they went- their first destination was, like, as if Christianity never existed, so the dark ages was skipped and everybody is- was advanced a thousand years... And uh- Apparently, like, you know, they had developed a pill that actually gets rid of aids. Like that. And Meg- And Meg is-
 '''Kacey:''' Well... But that doesn't even seem plausible, because there are plenty of places in this world that weren't touched by Christianity. But still...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway. Oh, they a- And they also... ga- also gave Meg a shiny moment. They made her... ''hot''. Heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Agh... Meg will never be hot, not even in that one episode where she was blonde. It's Meg.
 '''Chris:''' Uh- No- I- I mean she was, like, even hotter this episode.
 '''Kacey:''' Wow! Did they totally remake her character?
 '''Chris:''' Pretty much recreated her body style, yeah, only thinner, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I'm talking about her face. Her face, you know...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, her face does stay- stay a little bit of the same, but her body was different-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! So she was a butterface!
 '''Chris:''' A butterface?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Everything is nice, but her face?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Oh, her- I mean, it's, like, you know, her face is a little- I mean- Yeah, her face stayed the sa- face stayed the same. I mean, that's Meg... And she-
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly!
 '''Chris:''' -but I mean- Her body. Her body was different this time. Made her a little bit taller, gave her a 36D cup boobs. Heh! Put her in that- Put her in a pink tube top and denim sh-miniskirt, gave her tall boots, ma- and made her hair grow long-
 '''Kacey:''' So basically they made her an ugly whore...
==Part 3==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|#WR9WX0Rluoo}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </Center>

 '''Kacey:''' Because her face stayed the same. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' No. No-no-no.
 '''Kacey:''' That's what it sounds like! All they did was change her from the chin down, so she just became a butterface whore. Good for her. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh- in that dimension she's still the ugly one by comparison and uh- Stewie made the joke, saying, like, you know, if uh- Brian would still look at Lois, he would have to uh- he would have to put his dick in a wheelbarrow. He carries it off in a wheelbarrow... I know- I mean I d- I didn't really- I mean, it's, like, you know- I naw- I wa- Dawshna- I not sure if I got that myself um... But, you know, I thawaspozu- that was a joke there.
 '''Kacey:''' [fake laugh]
 '''Chris:''' You find- I'm sure you can find the clip on YouTube now.
 '''Kacey:''' I'll- I'll- I'll um... I'll look, but I mean uh- it's just a cartoon, you know. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, other- Anyway, among the- among dimensions aside from that one... Yeah. They a- They did- They went to another dimension- They we- Among the uh- dimensions- Another one- Another one I liked. They uh- went to another dimension where is like everything was drawn by Disney. And they put- And they put Lois in Snow White's outfit.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' And uh- is was like- It was just- It was jus- iwasjus- iwasjus- hawasjuz- It was just fun to look at that Disney rendition. Hehe-heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' It just- it just, like, just made the, you know, made the characters a little and more near... more realistic in the facial expressions and all that. 'Cept for, like, except for the Disney version Meg, of Meg, they made her like Ursla from the Little Mermaid.
 '''Kacey:''' Hahaha! That so fits her!
 '''Chris:''' Um... I mean, I felt that that was downright... I mean downright bad, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' No, she fits the jealous sea hag.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. ...Hm. ...Whatever, anyway, she's still Meg, but they made her... fatter but they gave her- they gave her Ursla's tentacles.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I would think so, but I mean don't whatever me, because I mean, come on, it's true, Meg is the character that is always dumped on. I mean, of course she's going to be like that. They make her such a wimpy little... whiny emo kid anyway.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Okay, well, I will not argue with you on that. In general, though, she's still a likable person and I just... feel sorry for her for being picked on like that like, you know, why? I think she looks good.
 '''Kacey:''' W-wait, why do you like her so much?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know. I think it's like, one thing, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, is Meg like your ideal girl? ...I mean, even though she's a cartoon.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, at least she's like, a human character.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's not what I'm asking you. Is she like your ideal girl?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, add a year to her because last time t-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, I'm not talking about her age. I'm talking about how she looks.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I d- I would, I mean, I mean just kind of the looks... buuut, if I didn't think about the age too much... yeah, I would tap her. I would do that to her.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay! Because I mean, you know... you're pretty, um... into people's weight, and she's kind of fat.
 '''Chris:''' I- I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean I'm into, uh... I am into thin women as well but I mean like, you know, you have to figure out today's society... I mean, I'll take a, uh, a woman who's uh, slim to average, body type.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Meg is... extremely not average. She is, um-
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt] Well, no, no, not that-
 '''Kacey:''' -beyond average. Yes she is!
 '''Chris:''' She's average.
 '''Kacey:''' No, she's not average!
 '''Chris:''' I think she's average.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughing] No, she's not average, Chris. That's the whole point of her.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, look, compare her body, her original body, to Peter. Now ''he's'' fat. And then compare her to Lois-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! It's a joke about Megan's character! She's supposed to be the fat little dumpy geek chick.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, I'm just- I'm just letting you know. I do not think she's fat. I think that her body type is average.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. If she were a real person, how much do you think she'd weigh?
 '''Chris:''' I would say she would probably weigh about... somewhere between... 145 and 160.
 '''Kacey:''' So you think I would weigh more than Meg.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I did not say that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. You say that... you think that I weigh 190 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I did not say that you weigh 190 pounds. I said-
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. Oh, yes you did.
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, okay, maybe I did, when we were talking in the past conversation. Mm... but I, but... I did not mean to insult you. I mean, we were just talking about Meg.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah, but her character is made to be bigger than mine. She has no curves, she's blocky... I mean, come on, Chris. That's just kind of insulting. I guess you just can't get that kind of humor as well. I guess you just don't get the show.
 '''Chris:''' I do get the show. I just, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm surprised you watch it. Because ''I'' heard that Stewie is openly gay now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm saying- I'm taking it... I'm ignoring that fact. I mean, I don't care, it's still a good show.
 '''Kacey:''' It's part of the show. I mean, that's just part of the show, Meg's just part of the show too, but... heh, anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I do, I just, I mean... I just basically ignore those parts. I ignore those homosexual parts.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, there's some, I mean, there's so many other aspects in the show that are still enjoyable.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if it's just a joke, why wouldn't it be enjoyable?
 '''Chris:''' Well, there's still- there's still a lot of good, adult humor in there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, if Stewie went from evil genius to gay. So... I mean, obviously the creator of Family Guy is okay with a homosexual life style. I mean, he's supporting it.
 '''Chris:''' N-not necessarily. He's definitely putting in straight points as well. He's definitely emphasizing the straight. I mean... [long pause] I mean, Quagmire bangin' a bunch of women, Cleveland had Loretta, Joe has Bonnie, and of course Peter has Lois. And he made Chris go out in se-season seven with... oh shoot, that blonde that high school that bullied Meg... Connie. He m- he let Chris go out with Connie DeMico. And also made hi- also let him have a crush on Barbara, in that early episode. That was season three.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but, anyway, and also, like- and also that... and also that same episode, that southern Dixie girl. Dixie: D-I-X-I-E. Just wanted to make sure that I... I understood that, that's what I said. And then there's the episode where they moved down south for a while.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh. Oh, the one that looked like a boy?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Right?
 '''Chris:''' I... I like... I mean yeah. At first, gave the appearance of being a boy, but in reality was a girl. [pause] And then there was, there was the episode where... where mine was... Yeah, it was the, yeah, uh, the episode where, uh, Adam West was trying to distract everyone from the Diggum(?) statue scam by, uh, banning homosexual marriage in Quohog.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was a joke. That he totally supports homosexual lifestyle. That was a joke.
 '''Chris:''' [stuttering wildly, trying desperately to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' That was a ''parody.'' A ''real'' parody.
 '''Chris:''' W-w-anyway, going back to the... going back to Chris, uh... g-go out with that girl, he was trying to impress in that episode. So... and also, you know, that Meg was tr- was try- w-was flirting with th- with the boys. And actually Meg went out with a few boys in a few episodes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it just seems like the show has gone downhill, but you should really look up the creator's political views. Because he... definitely, definitely is very liberal and he definitely supports a homosexual relationship.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm not judging Seth McFarlane's opinion on that. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' You judge everyone else's. You... told me yourself that you weren't drinking- I don't remember which soda it was, because of that, so why would you watch ''Family Guy''?
 '''Chris:''' I liked ''Family Guy'' since the beginning!
 '''Kacey:''' And you liked the soda too! And Family Guy is doing more to push a homosexual lifestyle than that soda was. He is furthering his pro-homosexual agenda through the show.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I tol-I toldja I turned the channel when they show those homosexual scenes.
 '''Kacey:''' Buuut... Okay, you, you're being shown homosexual scenes, but you won't drink a ''sooooda'' over something that you can't see.
 '''Chris:''' [''long'' pause, sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you can't have double standards.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... I think I've established this before, but... Yeah, I do not... I do not care about the homosexual lifestyle... and I am, I am willing to associate... I mean in like, uh, in a like, uh, be friends with homosexuals. But-
 '''Kacey:''' But then why would you stop drinking a soda over it then?
 '''Chris:''' I would not want them to get too close to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Trust me, they would not get too close to you. Number one, you're not a gay guy's type. They like people who... dress a lot better... um, and, you just wouldn't be the type. Um... let's see here. Second off, they know who's straight and who isn't, and trust me, they're not interested in straight boys.
 '''Chris:''' Um, yeah, that's honest-
 '''Kacey:''' They're very into... a very polished, handsome look.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't care, I, um, well I mean, okay, well, you don't have to tell, you don't have to tell me about from their point of view, I mean, uh, I don't care about from their point of view, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just telling you they wouldn't hit on you, they wouldn't want you. So you have nothing to worry about.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh, okay, well... Okay, well, I guess I-
 '''Kacey:''' According to gay people, you wouldn't be good enough for them. They are out of y-your league.
 '''Chris:''' Good, I would not, I would never want to be, I would never want to be that way with any of them anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! So it's fine, because you'd be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, I'd be a what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to them, you would be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' A step ''down''?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure, I, I feel, I feel like, uh, that's, uh, I feel like that's some sort of an insult right there.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just saying you aren't gay people's types.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, still, I-I mean I understand that, but I'm just saying, a step down? It just sounds like an insult to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's the thing. It's like, gay people wouldn't hit on you. Don't be insulted unless you want them to hit on you. I mean, have they ever hit on you before?
 '''Chris:''' Over the internet, I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's just over the internet. But the thing is, trust me, they're not going to hit on you in real life. I mean, saying you won't get close to them is insulting to them. But I'm just trying to reassure you that it's not going to happen.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I mean, I-I understand that, and I appreciate that, but I'm just letting you know that a step down sounds like an insult to me. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, don't worry about it unless you want them to hit on you.
 '''Chris:''' [tries constantly to interrupt] I mean, I mean, I mean, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' You should be happy they feel that way.
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay, I'm talking about, you know...
<Center>
==Part 4==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|#k8Zd7TlU1qI}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 23]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' if a homosexual thinks, if a homosexual thinks that I'm a step down, how does that make me feel about how women would see me in that sense? Women.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, you see, maybe... maybe you should think about that, 'cause like, women like polished guys, too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, if you're saying that homosexuals think I'm a step down, that sounds like, to me, that sounds like, you know, women might think I'm a step down.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but ju- We're talking about homosexuals, not women. Two different things. I mean, you're acting like you want gay people to hit on you. I mean, women and gay people aren't the same.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay well, I did-I did not mean to imply either of those. I'm, I'm just saying. [''pause, followed by a sigh''] I mean, still, I mean like... I-It would be, it would be insulting to me if women said I was a step down to them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're talking about homosexuals, not women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I'm changing the subject over, I'm just chang-I'm just chang- I'm just saying how I feel if women called me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but it has nothing to do with that and I didn't say that. I mean, do you think women think that you're a step down? Is that what this is about?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, for a while, I have been getting that impression.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe you should change that. What do you think that you could change about yourself to make you not a step down? I mean, have any women hit on you in real life?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah. For a- yeah, a few- a few- a few times back in, like, high and middle, about middle and high school. And, uh, but ever since I left high school and, uh... [pause] Yeah. Like, every woman's already taken. And that's why, that's why I feel-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they're just saying that. I mean it is a nice, polite way to let someone down. I mean, if you think that you're a step down for women, what do you think you could do to change yourself? What do you think is so, um, bad that they don't want to be with you?
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, I mean, one thing definite- one thing I'm sure of, and at least I'm working on it to improve it. You know, my... my buddha belly. At least I'm exercising more often to put, to take that down. Trim down there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what about your personality? I mean, a lot of women do go for personality.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Kacey:''' You think there's anything in that you can change?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Like, I could be more confident.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe it's also the way that you approach women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, by that, and by that, I also mean less shy.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Because, because like, for a long time in my sweetheart search, I have been shy. Hmm. Ah, let's see, what else... I mean, I mean, I dress, I dress okay. I wear solid colors.
 '''Kacey:''' Solid colors doesn't mean anything. It's all about the cut of your clothes. But, um, anyway, like, I guess, do you get nervous with women? Like, maybe that makes you mess up.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, 'cause sometimes I, uh, just feel like, I mean like, you know. I mean... yeah. Obviously, I did- I did- I have not gone out with women that much, so, it's like... You know. And I'm wanting to go out with women. [''stutters horribly''] ...Having the mindset of like, you know, being friends first. And, uh, I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' Most of the time when you're friends first with a girl, you're in the friendzone, and you're screwed.
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses, then sighs''] Yeah, I know-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, women usually know within... five minutes whether they're going to date somebody or not.
 '''Chris:''' They know within five minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, they know they're going to be attracted to that person or not. Like, if you immediately get in the friendzone, you probably don't have a prayer. Maybe you should go do some more things, like, the relationship classes are a great start, but...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, but, I mean, in general- in general, I do consider myself a friendly person. Since like, you know, sometimes I feel like, uh, when I'm stressed, I can be defensive. And, uh, yeah, when I, there's the nervousness there, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' And other things. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, uh... Yeah, I try not to, I try to keep my voice in a calm tone, not raise it. Um-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it's gotta be something else. Do you get, maybe, um, I don't know. I mean, girls like a manly man. Do you think you're manly enough? I mean, are you manly or more effeminate? Because sometimes soft voices can be more effeminate.
 '''Chris:''' I-I'm sorry. I didn't understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' It- You mean, you have a soft, quiet voice? Girls could see that as effeminate and that you don't have any real power. I mean, 'cause girls want a nice guy, too, but they also want a guy. Like, an actual ''guy'' guy.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I do feel like- I am a man. And I am sometimes manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, a girl wants a guy that's manly all the time. They want somebody that's gonna be able to protect them, that they're going to feel safe and secure with.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] And I, and that characteristic, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you seem to need a woman more than they need you. Like, you tell them you want to be a house husband, they're gonna laugh at you, they're gonna be like, "Oh my god, you're not a guy!" They're going to assume you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, that's stupid.
 '''Kacey:''' It's not stupid, I wouldn't want a house husband. I would want a man, I would want a ''husband''. I mean, I would like him to help out with housework and everything, but I would like to be on equal footing. I would want somebody who would protect me.
 '''Chris:''' I would protect you. Um, I mean, I would protect you or any woman that I know. I... I would, I seriously would!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I mean, but if you say you're going to be a house husband, that doesn't really give that idea. Plus, you know, you would have to be fit and menacing, you know? It-it's just, you know... Girls are going to, uh, you know, they're just going to judge that, because I mean, most house husbands are mostly married to another husband.
 '''Chris:''''' Ugh''... Okay, well, I guess I should, uh, find a new term meaning to like, you know, I would, instead, not house husband, but I mean... like you know, well...
 '''Kacey:''' Like, a girl's going to want you to get a job and be the man. I mean, come on, even you should know this just from Christian principles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I have- I have that general understanding.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you don't sound like you do.
 '''Chris:''' I do.
 '''Kacey:''' And, I mean, these days couples have both people working. They're on equal footing. It's wonderful.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, there are- there are couples where the woman goes to work and, uh, the husband stays home and takes care of the things at home.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, how many do you think there really are? I mean, 'cause that's not very big. I'm going to tell you that right now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I-I mean, yeah, I agree, I will not argue with you on that. I, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' And most of those men have more effeminate personalities. Or they get divorced really quickly. I mean, they could, most of them, probably bisexuals at least.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs''] I guess one thing I would definitely need to improve on is to become- to become more manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I wouldn't even know where to begin on that. I mean, I have- I have watched horror films and, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Horror films aren't going to do anything. Everyone dies in those. Like, go watch football, go try to hang out with other guys, I mean, be more aggressive with the trolls. And if you can't even deal with them, you can't deal with anything else. I mean, get rid of anything girly you have, 'cause that's not going to help you. I mean, 'cause wives cheat on girly men because eventually they're going to want a real man. They're not going to want someone who has My Little Ponies in his room.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' So that's another thing. I think that you should go take pictures of your room, I wanna make sure you're actually making progress. Because this is what you need to be doing. Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Hmm. Uh, let me ask you though, do you think it would be a good idea, I thought about this before... male hormone replacement pills?
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you think you need them?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, I mean, I just figured it's a possibility. You know, I might need to, I might- I might need more male hormones in me, I might- I might not have- I might just, I mean like, I co- I'm probably on equal footing between male, between my x and y chromosomes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it has nothing to do with your chromosomes, it has to do with your hormones, estrogen, and testosterone. But either way, go to the doctor, because you might need to get tested. I actually know someone who has to take more testosterone, and it'll take care of some things. So, you need to go do that because that might be a great idea.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, I'm sorry, I did not understand. Uh, what was that? Get tested for what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to see if you have low testosterone? Because that may be, that may actually be a problem and that would be a good thing. I think you should do it. I think you should go talk to your doctor about it.
 '''Chris:''' Testosterone test... Alright. I'll talk to my doctor about that.
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] But yeah, I think that's a great idea. I mean, 'cause then you could get strong and do you think trolls go after strong people?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do not- I do not think trolls would not- I do not think trolls would not go out after strong people because strong people would be a l- they wo- they trolls would feel intimidated.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, they go for the weak and helpless, you need to stop being weak and helpless. You need to be stronger and manlier, so I think you should talk to your doctor about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' Anyway, you should probably go Google it, so I'm gonna let you do that, go take some pictures of your room, do what you need to do. I've got to get up for school in the morning, so I'm gonna go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright, well, also I wanted to let you know, you know, if you have any troubles of your own on your half, you know, I have- I will- I will always have an ear open for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, thank you! I'll be sure to, uh, to um, keep that in mind.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you just keep that in mind. Alright, I wanted to remind you of that. I- I- I was reminded of that earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, thank you so much, and um, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye!
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
 [Call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ixzcy3c9z2ovpk5 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

User talk:Cleftpalete

2012-01-29T03:03:23Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Keep it up and don't listen to Slimz */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 19:04, 26 January 2012 (PST)

== Dont remove CONTENT ==

ok im fine with your removal of unfunny BS but do not remove CONTENT like fan videos. The wiki is designed to be funny sarcastic and informative, this is not ED but its not wikipedia either... [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 05:08, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*Listen, I like some fan videos too. But some are shitty. And the "Homos" page is probably one of the most relevant pages on the wiki, when there's this big ugly video on a nice page like that I can't not remove it. Also I'm not trying to make it like ED or Wikipedia, I can just read certain pages and tell that spergs wrote them and I want to erase that ugliness. [[User:Cleftpalete|Cleftpalete]] 12:37, 27 January 2012 (PST)

==Keep it up and don't listen to Slimz==
You're doing the Lord's work here Cleftpalete. I have a feeling that you and I are going to get along just fine. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:35, 27 January 2012 (PST)
* i agree with almost all of his edits, just dont want content to get lost, we all know how important content is, hidden content is not good content.... content.. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 06:37, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*Fan vids aren't content, they're growths on the article's backside. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:39, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*Thanks, I'll get these articles looking good. [[User:Cleftpalete|Cleftpalete]] 12:37, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*You do that. Call me if anyone else tries to revert your work. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 12:54, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*You're a good man. That's all. I which I had your cajones. If you're female, you're still a good man, and I still wish I had your cojones. Love, [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 19:03, 28 January 2012 (PST)

Talk:Homos

2012-01-29T01:44:13Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Fan video */

==To do==
*All of Chris's quotes asserting his heterosexuality
*Picture of Chris in his mom's underwear
*His comments against homos

==Expand to include Lesbians?==
This could be the topic of a separate article, but how would you people feel about including lesbians into this one? It's an interesting evolution of Chris's ideas. Originally, Chris was perfectly fine with lesbians, as he'd only have male homosexuals jailed and programmed whiled lesbians would be safe. Obviously, the reason why Chris likes lesbians is because they don't make him question his sexuality. I forget what exactly prompted it but I think maybe it was all the comments from trolls about how he's a hypocrite that he decided to start hating lesbians as well, as first seen in the "Boyfriend" music video.

I think this would be a good topic that should be discussed somewhere here on the CWCki, but should we include it into the homos article or should we delve into it in a separate article? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:45, 26 November 2009 (CET)
* Its more believable that he was rejected by a woman claiming truthfully or not that she was a lesbian and he suddenly realized that lesbian does not equal bisexual lesbian equal lesbian. [[User:Communist|Communist]]
** Anna McLerran made a blog post (I'm trying to dig up the link) about the difficulties of being a Mormon lesbian. So she wasn't kidding when she blew Chris off by telling him she only liked girls -- not that she or any other woman would let CWC touch her anyway. [[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 14:54, 10 May 2011 (PDT)

==Sex Toys thing==

Good so far, but I edited the thing about the anal beads. I've actually ordered from AdamAndEve.com before and they generally give you a choice of a toy or a DVD. Furthermore, the toy is usually based on what you order - order a fake pussy or something like that, and you'll get something like a fake cocksucker. Order something phallic and you'll get something phallic as a free gift (i.e. order a dildo, you'll get anal beads). It's been a while since I last ordered form them (pro tip: Amazon is actually cheaper) but I do believe you can opt out. I do believe that one of Chris's dildo (not his vibrator) he actually BOUGHT because (and I'm paraphrasing his own word) it was only like $1.99 or something like that. The moar you know. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:36, 14 March 2009 (CET)

: Whoa whoa whoa, back up. Chris has a dildo AND a vibrtator? --[[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] 19:39, 15 March 2009 (CET)
: Hes the kind of retard to not realize they do the same thing when ones turned off. [[User:Communist|Communist]]

==Asexuality==

Me and a friend (who both enjoy this wiki very much) were talking about CWC recently, and we personally think he's asexual, but trying to put up a heterosexual facade because Grown Ups Have Sex; so I added a little bit about that possibility. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:21, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

* The asexuality section is great. I really believe Chris is obsessed with getting laid not out of any perversion or actual sexual desire, but because it's what he believes adulthood is about. And to be honest, sexuality is a big part of being an adult, unfortunately Chris is ignoring things like interpersonal relationships, financial responsibility, work, every single other thing. tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.

* Alright, it seems that this article is the wrong page for the asexuality bit and that the Chris and Sex page would be a better fit for it, so I'm going to put it over there, then. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 08:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

*"''tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.''" Haha, what? Because drawing furfag porn,drinking his [[navy]],the infamous"''I don't know child, what with the dumb laws.''"quote regarding the fact an apparently [[Zapina|14 year old character]] couldn't be in a pornographic film, the also infamous "''I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least. you know, like Lassie.''"quote and other things aren't signs of serious perversion at all? tl;dr being a furfag,drinking his semen,showing signs of pedophilia, and possibly accepting bestiality remove any weight the "''he's just retarded''" argument has. Even if the semen drinking, and bestiality answer could be passed off as doing things to get [[china]], it would remain that Chris became a furfag and [[pedofork]] on his own will. Oh,and I'd like to see any proof he really isn't a homophobe seeing as he fits the dictionary definition to a T.--[[User:Ror|Ror]] 05:58, 27 September 2009 (CEST)

*I consider several things, now that's it brought up. From the Chris and Sex page "then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form". Also the fact that he seems to have little care for actual humans, but feel care for his hedgehogs and his dead dog. and the bestiality bits. I think Chris is Asexual to humans, or things he sees as human. He isn't a furfag, because he isn't a furry, and he ain't a furry because he's said "screw that" to anthropomorphized animals, and seems to just like (and "like") non-human animals (because like his dog, his sonichus and such like him for how he is, and don't have stupid human ideas like bathing)[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:21, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

== Revelation? ==

I happened to glance at CWCikipedia's article on[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education Dating Education], and I noticed something.

"It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo"

Apparently not getting Hanky Panky during teenaged years leads to temptations of being a homo. CWC Science Proven Fact! Anyway, would this be notable enough to put in either this article or Chris and sex, or just forget about it?--[[User:WEsKar|WEsKar]] 20:27, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

: I slipped it into the "Fear of..." section already, but it bears further expansion. This is quite the psycho-sexual revelation on Chris's part. [[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 20:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

== "Christopher" (I guess?) faved [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1251873110513.jpg this] ==

Christopher also does [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1252025256932.jpg a lot] of other shit like that right now. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 18:32, 4 September 2009 (CEST)

==Mother's Underwear==
Does anyone know when and why he posted that picture?[[User:Skwrr|Skwrr]] 21:52, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

The picture of Chris in his mom's underwear is an older picture from '07-'08. Why he put it on and uploaded it? 1. You'll have to see the [[sports bra]] article. 2. What can we expect from someone who bows like a girl, penetrates like a girl, and collects my little ponies? 3. A troll made him do it.

--[[User:Scarletdragon|Scarletdragon]] 04:07, 15 October 2009

*It's from September 2008. Lordsillynipples posed as Blanca and "Blanca" told Chris he would leave him if he didn't wear his mother's underwear, hence why he's not wearing a shit eating grin. I swore there was an article on just those pictures but I forget what it was called. I swore that this was something Chris did before on his own (try on his mother's underwear) but apparently, I was mistaken. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:39, 15 October 2009 (CEST)

==Home Gene==
I was reading mailbag on the CWCipedia, and one 'fan' posed a question that Chris gave a rather interesting answer to. They asked how Chris was going to rehabilitate the homos after the Dating ED episode in the comic, and Chris explained how he ends up out of the time void a year after the present where scientists have isolated the genes for homo and heterosexuality. He offers his straight blood in order to create a vaccine for gayness, and will take it back to his time period. --[[User:Rye|Rye]] 6:18, 19 November 2009
** If he knew anything about how vaccines are made he would realize that you cant cure genes. that and we know what the gay gene is its the same gene that causes extreme fertility among women.

=="Chris on his alleged homosexuality" needs updating==
I am 99% positive Chris has said something denying he's a homosexual since the most recent quote on the list. We need to update it with other ones (make sure they're some variant of the existing ones, that is Chris denying he's gay and that he's STRAIGHT). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:18, 30 November 2009 (CET)

==Heather Iglesias==
"Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu (that is, the fictional actors who portray them, and not the doubly-fictional characters themselves, if you want to add another layer of crazy to the parfait of suck that is the Sonichu series) are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]]..."

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean; I don't remember Chris ever saying that Sonichu and Rosechu are actors. If I'm wrong, feel free to add back with a source. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 03:41, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris hates lesbians now ==

Chris dislikes the lesbians just like the homos. He said this answering a question in a recent Mailbag. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 12:02, 21 December 2009 (CET)

Srsly guys. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:15, 26 December 2009 (CET)

Also is there any "update needed" tag on CWCki? --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:16, 26 December 2009 (CET)

...also I guess I'm starting to take all this too seriously. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:17, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*I'm gonna make a separate article about lesbians sometime soon, titled [[Dykes Dykes China|Dykes]], since lesbians and male homosexuals don't mean exactly the same to Chris. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:33, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*An update needed tag would be handy, good thinking Sonijew. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:10, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris needs to realize this. ==

Lets just say Chris finally learns to accept himself for who he is (Gay, bisexual at LEAST), ALOT of trolls would stop, because most, if not all of the trolls arent homophobic. Chris really brought this upon himself, its a classic example of a "Victim Complex". ITs kinda like how CHRIS is the one who posted the picture of sonichu on 4chan, yet he blames the site.
-[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 12:08 AM
:I have never seen proof that Chris himself posted the picture of Sonichu on 4chan. [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 03:49, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:A better comparison would be how he uploaded [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] to [[ED]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 04:21, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

== TARD LOGIC ==

Doesn't Chris realize that turning all the homos straight would decrease his risk of finding a boyfriend-free girl?
I mean if he truly wanted to have a BFG he would want all jerks to be homos--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:20, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think that's been pointed out to him before in the Mailbag and he essentially blew that person off. Chris might be aware of this but he just doesn't seem to care (like so many other things). --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 08:54, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

==Phobia==
I'd just like to point out that phobia isn't a fear of X, it's an irrational fear of X. So is it okay to change the line "he is literally afraid of homosexuality..." into "he is literally , and irrationally, afraid of homosexuality..." or would this just be too silly/too much?[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:10, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

== Five possibilities ==

Who the fuck's bright idea was that? God damn, I let people do their own thing and I find people add shit like that. Why the hell is this there, someone tell me? You've enumerated the possibilities for ANYONE - it's pointless to point out that someone is either A or not A, if someone's A, of course he's not going to be not A. God damn.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:49, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
*In other words, this section either needs to be eliminated or possibilities narrowed down to possibilities grounded on evidence and not just every possible sexuality Chris could be in actuality.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:50, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
:INVISIBLE HAND, CHAMPTHOM! INVISIBLE HAND! [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 12:36, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

==Another inconsistency==

Not that this article needs further evidence of Chris's irrational prejudice and idiocy, but, as observed [[Mailbag 5|elsewhere]], when giving advice for a pregnant woman, he said, "...NEVER EVER let your wife drink, smoke or be physically abused or hurt while she is pregnant. IF ANYTHING, such actions CAN PROVOKE homosexuality in the child," acknowledging that homosexuality is not a matter of choice.--[[User:Henry Bemis|Henry Bemis]] 13:29, 10 May 2011 (PDT)

==Chris and Pegging==
Would it be appropriate to include Chris's opinion on pegging (From the Dec 27 2008 IRC Chat) anywhere in the article or would it be too superfluous?--[[User:Cthuluology|Cthuluology]] 14:33, 25 June 2011 (PDT)
* i think that would go in the sex or sex toys sections, pegging is not actually a gay act, 'gay' is who you have sex with not how you have sex.

== Fan video ==

is it staying or going, someone make a final decision.--[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 12:28, 27 January 2012 (PST)

*I will make the final decision, and I say kill it and bury it in a shallow grave in Virginia, because no-one will miss it. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 12:26, 27 January 2012 (PST)
**On that note: "there is nothing to discuss about removing stupid images and videos that serve no purpose other than to mock and insult Chris." Yeah, there is nothing to discuss. Mocking and insulting Chris is the purpose of this wiki, idiot. [[User:Ted Van Gruder|Ted Van Gruder]] 01:32, 28 January 2012 (PST)
***No it's not you stupid inbred cunt. It's to ''document'' Chris. There are even rules in the policy saying not to outright insult Chris, because it is pointless and Chris's actions speak for themselves. You know nothing about the workings of this wiki, you're preserving cancer, you're a sperg, and your mother was a whore who didn't use protection, and now you're the world's greatest argument for bringing back eugenics. Hey, you started with the personal insults buddy. I'm just responding in turn. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 01:56, 28 January 2012 (PST)
****Ah, I remember being thirteen too. You're so cute. :) [[User:Ted Van Gruder|Ted Van Gruder]] 09:22, 28 January 2012 (PST)
*****Nice comeback bro. Now either contribute something valid to the wiki instead of reverting attempts de-fag it or starting baseless arguments, or GTFO. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:37, 28 January 2012 (PST)
*****Old meme's right. The CWCki is here so that Chris cannot selectively ignore his history; it's not here to outright bash Chris for a schadenfreude hard-on. I'm paraphrasing here. Somebody more important than myself said something like that first. Regardless, NOT A FORUM [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 17:44, 28 January 2012 (PST)

Kacey Call 21

2012-01-26T06:26:42Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc92209.mp3

*[[Chris]] had a [[job]] interview at [[Target]] today. He claims to not remember most of it, despite it happening just hours ago.
*Chris uses his time spent playing at the Pokemon League as job experience in his interview.
*[[Kacey]] asks about his "photographic and audio memory," and Chris claims that doesn't work when he tries to remember things "spur of the moment," as if he didn't expect to be asked about the interview that happened ''that day.''
*Chris claims to have not worn his medallion to the job interview. He also admits that he complimented the female interviewers on their appearance. Kacey points out that you aren't supposed to hit on your interviewer - Chris disregards this and says it's fine because the compliment was "informal."
*Despite claiming his memory doesn't work "spur of the moment," he is able to immediately remember word for word what he said to troll phone calls. He was called gay by trolls.
*Kacey suggests simply ignoring troll phone calls - this goes completely over his head, and he immediately changes the subject.
*Kacey asks if he thinks he got the job. Chris says yes because "they smiled at me."
*Chris's logic kicks in full force. After failing to remember what his password was several times, he is locked out of his copyright management account for "multiple failed login attempts." Rather than figuring that ''his own failed log in attempts'' caused this, he believes it is the work of a troll.
*Chris believes that not only is it possible to steal the Sonichu copyright, but that all you need to do is have the copyright mailed to you and it's legally yours, disregarding the legal name on it. This further proves that Chris has ''no idea'' what the copyright actually is.
*Kacey asks Chris to film himself jogging so she can make sure he is doing it right. He says he "will consider it."
*Chris says that he will get to work on putting essays on CWCipedia.

==Transcript==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 21
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Mbh2tEDPA6Q}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 20]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 22]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' ''[high pitched, worried sounding]'' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey! What's up?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good! So... how did the interview go today? I want to hear everything about it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I'll say as much as I can remember, anyway. It was- it went good, I had, uh... two supervising fema- two supervisor women interview me over there. And, uh... and they, you know, I kept my voice at a pleasant tone and I, uh, I ca- I was, ah, I kept good on the friendly smile and uh, and I maintained eye contact and, uh... answered the questions honestly and uh...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' What kind of questions did they ask you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, like, uh... questions about my, about my past job yeah, we took kind of length(?) to talk about my, it's, they talked about my past job at Wendy's, and also about brought in, like, you know, uh, also like, find some- find some I, uh, experience at the, over a- when I volunteered for the Pokemon League. ''[pause]'' Yeah, um... and they also gave me a lot of hard to tackle(?) situations so I can't remember those, can't remember that right of the ba- remember that right off the top of my head right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, but it just happened today, how could you not remember? I mean, was it like, angry customers or was iiiit... like were you having a problem with another employee? ''[pause]'' I mean, I thought you had this photographic and audio memory.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh, pause]'' I guess I, uh... I guess I-I, I guess it's something I c- yeah. I wo- I mean, yeah, I used to-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Are you sure you're okay? You sound distressed.
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause, sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' What happened? What's wrong?
 '''Chris:''' I... when I have to remember something and then I, the person I'm trying to remember, as much detail, it's just - I get frustrated when I can't remember- can't remem- can't recall it. I mean, you can't just like... spur of the moment.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... it sounded like you were stressed when you picked up, so are you sure there's not something that happened today?
 '''Chris:''' I, yeah, well, I did, I mean, while I was waiting for you I did pick up, uh, did pick up a few, uh, calls from some trolls, and... ''[pause, sigh]'' There's another rumor going around and... I got calls with claims from people, um call me, like, you know, saying like, yeah, ''[mockingly]'' 'Oooh, yeah, I'm glad you finally came out of the closet and you're such a homo' and then like I told them, like, told them, 'I'm straight'. I told them I'm straight and then hung up on them. ''[sigh]'' I just had to deal with- had to deal with a bunch of those.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' That's awful! I'm so sorry that my class ran late, but it sounds like somebody needs to grow up.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a LOT of somebodies.
 '''Kacey:''' Haha, yeah. I mean, don't they have anything BETTER to do?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, I guess it could be worse. I mean, it's just a phone call. You could just ignore them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, like I was explaining, anyways, still, I think I left a, ah, good impression at like, and I did dress nice I work like, I wor- I wore a nice, uh, blue dress shirt that, a like, nice blue striped dress shirt that I had and uh, black slacks and uh, blazer, and I did ''not'' wear my medallion. And I sat appropriately with my hands in my lap and my shoulders straight and sitting up posture and-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' That's good!
 '''Chris:''' I... yeah. And I, you know, I even them a good handshakes and uh a compliment on how they looked and uh, I think they like so I'll hear b- I'll hear- I'll find out for sure in a couple of days.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I hope you weren't too forward with the complimenting them. Normally you don't do that on an interview.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, no, no, it was like, informal it was like, you know, while were waiting for the uh, for the, the, conference room to be free 'cause there was another interview goin' on and I complimented one of the two- one, one of the two women on how they looked. They looked good. And uh, also had uh, a jeweled hair piece and had pony tails. But it was like, you know, the jewel covered up the rubber band. And I, uh, complimented on that, you know, it looked good. It looked good on that person.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. So did they have you fill out any kind of paper work or say if they would be setting up a second interview, or... um, basically, what did they say?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... well, I did have to uh, did have to sign a form where they talked about my you know, uh... my schedule, availability of which I filled out when I applied on the online application. Talked to me about that. Verifying that. Uh... other than that, it was a Q-and-A, uh... and they pretty much wrote that down themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did they tell you that they would be calling you, or anything else?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said that they would call me back.
 '''Kacey:''' Did they give you a time frame?
 '''Chris:''' ''[annoyed]'' Yeah, in a couple of days. ''[pause]'' Or if you're talking a time frame in hours, no they did not give me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, no-no-no, just... a time frame.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, in a couple of days.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... do you think you got the job?
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[pause]'' I'm hoping I did. I'm praying I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, did they say anything that would make you... ''think'' that?
 '''Chris:''' They smiled back at me.
 '''Kacey:''' That's their job, they're supposed to smile back.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, ah...
 '''Kacey:''' Did they say anything about paperwork, orientation... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... they, ahhh... they never said anything about orientations yet.
 ''[pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' Mmkay. Well, did anything else happen today?
 '''Chris:''' Well... I didn't have much else planned, so after I got home, after I got back home, I, uh... had something to eat, then I took my tai-walk... jog. And then after I got home I spent some time playing Final Fantasy 7.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. That's an old game! So, uh... how about your copyright papers? How's that coming along?
 '''Chris:''' I think I already told you that, uh... that I re-registered...
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, have you checked on it online to make sure it went through?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I... Yeah, I tried checking it online, but unfortunately, uh... yeah, I hadn't changed my password and I forgot... I'm not sure what the password is. I think it's... it's suppo- supposed to be... it's supposed to have the word 'nutmeg' in it.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[typing heard in the background]''
 '''Chris:''' Or, and, it's like... 'gemtun' or something... which is a palindrome of nutmeg.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Spelled back... spelled backward. That's what palindrome means.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, w-... yeah. I think I told you that I like to do that. You know, spell words backwards and then say them like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Right!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uh... I also have that. I think it was like, either '02241982' but it... apparently, those weren't right. And uh, I guess... I mean, like, it also said like, I tried logging in and it gave me like... it said, like, you know, account has been deactivated because of multiple failed login attempts.
 '''Kacey:''' Oooh.
 '''Chris:''' So, I don't know, maybe one of the tro-... Clyde or... Gregg. Clyde, that guy, tried to log in. And tried to... psh, mess everything up there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... who knows?
 '''Chris:''' ''[trying to interrupt]'' B-b-but y-yeah, but yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Because if he did, I mean, what would you do? I mean, if he did that, then HE would have the copyright, wouldn't he?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' Well, yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. Mm. It would depend on if he actually has an address for them to send the, uh, for them to send that, uh, piece of paper to or not.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[talking over Chris]'' Well... you should work on it and find out.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' 'Cause, I mean, if you think he did, he probably did, because that sounds like him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I, well, yeah, I'm trying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you should try harder, because I mean isn't that... important to you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is important.
 '''Kacey:''' So, you should... probably get on it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have been on that. I was on that, I was on it earlier when I was checkin' my e-mail as well. Also, yeah, I checked my e-mail also before, uh, after I got back from my walk... and before I went to Final Fantasy 7 I checked my e-mail.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how long did you walk?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' The usual... usual 'bout... actually, nowadays, with the way I'm walking... I'm walking, jogging a little faster. I get home in 15 to 30 minutes now.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Okay, so you... so you jogged for 15 minutes, or you walked for 15 minutes?
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause]'' Yeah, I jogged for like... five minutes out of the total time.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[long pause]'' Okay. Well. ''[sucks teeth]'' Do you ever think that... maybe you should-
 '''Chris:''' ''[tries to interrupt]''
 '''Kacey:''' -try to film yourself jogging so that maybe I could see your form and give you a few pointers?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, I don't know if it would be that easy for me to... well, I mean, it's not like I can actually... hold the camera while I'm jogging. It's like a habit of mine, swinging my arms while I jog. If I had it in my hands while I was filming, I mean... It'd be like, constant motion.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're not supposed to let your arms swing down when you're jogging. You're supposed to keep them right by you. You know, like, you can either have your elbows bent a little bit, or keep them by your side.
 '''Chris:''' ''[tries to interrupt]'' Yeah... I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just to- just set it stationary and jog in front of it for a little bit.
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause]'' Okay, well, I'll think about... okay, I'll consider it. I'll think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[typing]'' Okay, but don't just be saying that to blow me off.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying that to blow you off. I will seriously consider... doing that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, I just wanted to make sure that you know you're working on stuff. Um... so, um, also, I mean, you know, you haven't done a lot of things that you said you would. Like, there's no old essays on the CWCipedia, anything like that, or, um... a song. ...anything. I mean, maybe you should just do a little bit at a time. Because, I'm ''really'' trying to help you out here, but you've got to help too for you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yep. Okay. ...yeah. Yep. Yeah, just, I'm still... yes. So many things and... so many things. Yep. But yeah. I'll get... I'll get some old essays up on the CWCipedia.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, that's good, um...
 '''Chris:''' I...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, let me let you go ahead and get to that and I will try to talk to you tomorrow. And definitely check up on that copyright, you don't want someone to steal it right from under your nose.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ...yeah. I... I... yeah. I'll get right on that. I am right on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' I'll talk to you later. Stay safe. I- ''[cuts off]''
 '''Kacey:'''

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nrp7294pnf711db mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 20]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2012-01-26T06:22:10Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 20 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|_vSKKYhx2xc}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 19]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' …Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization--

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 20 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|ZlZOliyGH08}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 21]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' --skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um… Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say ''on screen''? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris's voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"''] Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated''] I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a ''little'' different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' …Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 19

2012-01-26T06:10:08Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc91809.mp3

Brief overview:
*[[Chris]] went to a heart doctor, the doctor said his heart problem can be solved by not stressing so much.
*Chris weighed 216 last time he went to a doctor, now he weighs 205.
*Chris bragged he jogged for three minutes, and this was a new record. [[Kacey]] gets mad and says that he previously claimed he jogged for 45 minutes. Chris says she misheard and he said he walked for 45 minutes.
*Chris registered [[Sonichu 0]] at the Library of Congress.
*Chris is working more on his [[Audiobooks]].
*Kim tells Chris that [[CWCipedia]] is back online, so Chris talks about thinking about updating it. He stress sighs.
*Talking about his interview at [[Target]], him and Kim did a mock interview showing Chris how to lie about being fired from [[Wendy's]].
*Kacey tells Chris to not talk about [[Sonichu]], [[trolls]], or his [[medallion]]. He's interrupted by [[Barb]] coming into the room.
*Chris talks about what he saw on the news.
*Chris says that girls that get raped should have the right to get an abortion. They should also be able to have an abortion if the baby was a mistake. Kacey tells Chris that he's wrong and that abortion isn't birth control.
*Chris says his mind is blank, so they hang up.

==Transcript==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 19
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|-42jA7RuWTQ}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 18]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 20]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris''': Hello? 
'''Kacey''': Hey Chris, it's Kacey. What's up? 
'''Chris''': Hi Kacey. I'm okay, how are you? 
'''Kacey''': I'm good. 
'''Chris''': That's good. Hey I went-I went to uh my appointment with uh Dr. McGovern today ('''Kacey''': Uhhuh) and uh... Yeah turns out like you know. Yeah. Yeah about m-about my uh heart-my heart pains really you know. Uhm, anyways it's just basically all I need to do is just eh try not to stress out so much, and uh just... and uh continue taking on paroxitine I should be okay. 
'''Kacey''': MmmHmm. 
'''Chris''': Uh other than that uh... Guess what? Apparently uh last time when they weighed me I weighed 216. [pause] 216 pounds. 
'''Kacey''': Uh huh. 
'''Chris''': And uh they weighed me today, guess how much I was? Or how much I am? 
'''Kacey''': Uh... 
'''Chris''': [interrupting] 20-205. 
'''Kacey''': Oh nice. 
'''Chris''': I lost 11 pounds! 
'''Kacey''': Oh that's cool. I-I thought you said last time you weighed, you were like 220 something, I mean maybe I ('''Chris''': Uh) heard you wrong. 
'''Chris''': Yeah-or maybe I misremembered. 
'''Kacey''': Maybe. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Anyway I lost 11 pounds. [mumbles incoherently] Here's a funny part-here's a funny bit, I told my father 'Hey pop, I last-I lost 11 pounds!' and he said 'Okay. Well did you ever find it again?' 
'''Kacey''': [Laughs] 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah. I got that, I was like "Ha!". Yep. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, pretty funny. 
'''Chris''': Yeah anyway uh, got back home, did my-I did my walking and jogging and uh... then my father wanted to go out and run some errands so I went with him, then we came back and- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] How much did you Jog? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Oh I jogged about 3 minutes. 
'''Kacey''': 3 minutes? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Why would you even bother? That's-That's, what? 3 minutes? [Long pause] I mean you're going to have to push yourself, 3 minutes is nothing, that's like... I don't know could you even jog for only 3 minutes? That's, I don't know. 
'''Chris''': [pause][frustrated] Oh give me a break! At least I'm working up to uh... longer than that. 
'''Kacey''': [upset] Well YOU were telling me the other day you did 45 minutes! So, how do you go from 45 minutes to 3 minutes and then say that you are working to go above that? I mean did you lie to me? 
'''Chris''': Oh no wait you might've mis... understood. I said that... uh... it [unintelligible]- it takes like 45 minutes to a hour, for me to uh... walk a power walk... arou- Around the uh, neighborhood. 
'''Kacey''': Y-You told me that's how long you took: 45 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah to walk a power walk around neighborhood. Jogging would probably be... to be-Jogging around a whole...creation... like would be uh, [pause] probably take- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] Chris, you told ('''Chris''': b-b-but) me 45 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [pause] No, no. I did not say that. 
'''Kacey''': Y-Yes, yes you did. [Very long pause] ('''Chris''': Yeah-) I mean I-I have pretty good audio memory, so... 
'''Chris''': Hmm. [pause] Or... Maybe I-or maybe I mis... spoke I don't know. 
'''Kacey''': Maybe. 
'''Chris''': Well anyway... anyway I did that, and then my power walk to go uh... run some errands downtown, so I went with him and then we came back a long time later. And then I went on- then went to- then I went to the Library of Congress. And uh, took-and uh just went ahead and registered Sonichu for myself uh, and send them the uh, fil-send them the uh image files for book number 0 plus also some new scans of the-of... the uh, rough drawings- rough drawings I did, you know on notebook paper during accounting-I did during accounting class. And uh, a couple others, also the orig- the most original uh, Sonich-Sonichu Pokemon card... which uh, originally when I created it we only had a black and white printers, so we printed black and w- so I printed it in black and white, and then I colored it in with uh marker and crayon. 
'''Kacey''': [pause] Okay. 
'''Chris''': And anyway I scanned that and also send in the... the uh, images for my CD cover. And uh, I she wasn't-Oh yeah I scanned my medallion...as well. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, okay well just remember to check on everything you know, see the status. You want to make sure that you uh, keep up on that. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah well that's no problem. I mean I had the library of congress book ma-bookmarked on my... Firefox. [pause] 
'''Kacey''': Yep. 
'''Chris''': Mmm. Yeah, anyway I was-anyway after that... uh yeah, did the video books for uh book number...7, and...probably still uploading now like give me... a little while. 
'''Kacey''': Okay I'll be sure to check ('''Chris''': [unintelligible]) those out. 
'''Chris''': I just got-I just got a little life starting on that, but anyways also, Kim also, I talked to Kim, and uh... she told me that my... CWCipedia was back up, so... [unintelligible]-so then I went to update CWCipedia with the videos I had uploaded currently uh, before book number 7 ('''Kacey''': Uhhuh) and then book number-After the uh 7th book, video the uh, book 7 videos are uploaded, I'll update the CWCipedia with those as well. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. Well, uhm did you, ever add uh, those essays that you promised me that you would add from High school? 
'''Chris''': [pause, sigh] I have been-yeah I mean I uh yeah not yet-but I mean I haven't been able to because of CWCipedia was down for the uh, server updates. But I'll-I'll get thos-I'll get those, I promise you I will get those uh, essays... found, and on-and on to the uh, CWCipedia. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, you should totally do that I mean while you have a chance. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [pause] Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': I mean ('''Chris''': [unintelligible]) it's not like you have a lot more to do, you got that interview coming up, but that's about it. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I got that interview com-coming up. Yep. Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': Are-are you prepared for that? You know what you're going to say? And what you're not going to say? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I-yeah I feel-I feel pretty prepared. Uh, Kim and I did... did a mock interview the other night. And she gave me a little suggestion, like you know instead of saying "I got fired from Wendy's" "I got laid off for personal differences". 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, that's good! Just remember, stay as professional, and polite as you can. 
'''Chris''': Yeah that's no problem I mean I planning on wearing my uh, Blazer, and put on a nice uh, shirt and pants. 
'''Kacey''': Okay, and uh, just remember don't talk about Sonichu cause that's something totally different. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I'm not gonna-yeah I will not talk about that. 
'''Kacey''': And-and no medallion. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, no medallion. 
'''Kacey''': And uh, don't talk about trolls, they don't want to know, they don't need your life story, they just want to know whether you're going to work hard. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. That's no problem I-I plan-I... I intend to work hard. 
'''Kacey''': Well that's good, you need to let them know that. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I will let them know that as well. Oh, excuse me. [Barb walks into Chris's Room]. Hello! 
'''Barbara''': [inaudible throughout] 
'''Chris''': Hi mom, yeah sure I was just talking to Kacey. Okay. Hmm. So-so I'm sorry, what we're we talking about? 
'''Kacey''': Oh were talking about your job interview, and uhm, how you're gonna ace it. 
'''Chris''': Oh yeah, well that's no problem, I feel like I'm doing okay- I feel like I'm-I feel like do-I'm okay I mean uh... see most of the mock interview uh, Kim told me that I'd be okay. Uh, ('''Kacey''': That's good) uh and the only exception was the uh, you know, just having to correct me on- Instead of sayi- Instead of saying I got- instead of saying fired, just say laid off, due to personal differences. 
'''Kacey''': Yep. Euphemisms are always good. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Euphemisms... I never really understood what that word meant, I heard that word before. 
'''Kacey''': Mmm should probably just in a dictionary, it's an easy word. 
'''Chris''': Okay. [Silence] Yeah. Hmm. Okay so you had-Okay so how was you do today, very tough day, or did you have a easier one today? 
'''Kacey''': Well, I had, earlier school and I had a lab. Uhm, I was actually pretty easy, I just had a couple quizzes, and then I went home, and then I went to work, so I mean it was just normal. 
'''Chris''': Okay well that's good. Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': So how was your day? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah well I told you about it already, but yeah it- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] So that's all you did? I mean there's nothing else? ('''Chris''': Hmm) Anything on your mind? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah uhm... I mean we- Yeah I mean I did watch some news as well uh... learned about- Learned a bit more about, uh, Creigh- Creigh Deeds and uh, Bob McDonnell being the upcoming Governor. [Pause] Uh, apparently I misunderstood about uh, McDonnell a little bit, it was Creigh Deeds that wants us- is The one that wants to do the tax raising. 
'''Kacey''': How do you feel about that? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Uh yeah, I-I-I am against it, I-I am against it t-the ra- the raising of the taxes. So, yeah apparently McDonnell is uh, against abortion. Alright, so then he would take- And uh If he were elected governor he would probably take that part away from, like you know even if- if even from unexpected, rape or incest, everything like that, or even- Or even prohibited from... Married people. So it's like uh, uh I'm not sure, I might go tax over- I'm gonna go tax over abortion on that note. 
'''Kacey''': Ar-Ar-Are you- Are you- Do you agree with that, or do you disagree with that? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I disagree with the abortion thing. 
'''Kacey''': No, no, no, but do you agree with what he's doing like he wants to make sure that no one, even incest, or rape can get abortions, or do you think that they should? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I feel like they have the right to. [Pause] I mean, it happened unexpectedly. [long pause] You know? 
'''Kacey''': MmmHmm. 
'''Chris''': And... It... It would just uh, it would not... seem right I mean it's nic- It's nice to know that- It's nice for those women to know that they have the option, and it's better to have the option than not have it. [Silence] 
'''Kacey''': I guess, but I mean I-I-I think you know like most bans are on, uhm, the late trimester ones, which yeah I mean by then you whether you want to have a kid or not, so you shouldn't wait till that long. [Silence] I mean, but still that's surprising cause abortion's extremely against the Christian religion I mean, so I'm surprised you go for that. 
'''Chris''': [Long Pause] Well. [Long Pause] I mean a... [pause] Yeah I'm just- I'm just... [long pause] [sigh] look I don't know what to say, but still, you know, I feel it's wrong to take away that choice for the women. [Pause] I mean especially if they, if it was a [unintelligible], if it was like uh, from a case of rape or a mis- Or a mistake, er you know? Something like that? 
'''Kacey''': Well the thing is, is, uhm, okay I can understand rape and incest, but abortion isn't birth control. If you are having sex you should fully know that your- you could have a kid. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. But I mean it's- I mean it's not like the woman is gonna know that she's gonna be raped right before it happens- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] That's what I said, not including that. I'm not including that, Chris. 
'''Chris''': Okay. [Pause] Hmm. [Very Long pause]. Hmm, okay well my mind's blank abou- My mind's blank right now. [Pause] 
'''Kacey''': Mmmkay you should probably get that checked out, remember that that could be a problem, but uhm, I'll talk to you tomorrow then. 
'''Chris''': Alright, well you take care, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Alright. Bye. 
'''Chris''': Buh bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?344ie3zcudag85a mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 20]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 19

2012-01-26T06:07:46Z

Giantgroundsloth:

File Name: kc91809.mp3

Brief overview:
*[[Chris]] went to a heart doctor, the doctor said his heart problem can be solved by not stressing so much.
*Chris weighed 216 last time he went to a doctor, now he weighs 205.
*Chris bragged he jogged for three minutes, and this was a new record. [[Kacey]] gets mad and says that he previously claimed he jogged for 45 minutes. Chris says she misheard and he said he walked for 45 minutes.
*Chris registered [[Sonichu 0]] at the Library of Congress.
*Chris is working more on his [[Audiobooks]].
*Kim tells Chris that [[CWCipedia]] is back online, so Chris talks about thinking about updating it. He stress sighs.
*Talking about his interview at [[Target]], him and Kim did a mock interview showing Chris how to lie about being fired from [[Wendy's]].
*Kacey tells Chris to not talk about [[Sonichu]], [[trolls]], or his [[medallion]]. He's interrupted by [[Barb]] coming into the room.
*Chris talks about what he saw on the news.
*Chris says that girls that get raped should have the right to get an abortion. They should also be able to have an abortion if the baby was a mistake. Kacey tells Chris that he's wrong and that abortion isn't birth control.
*Chris says his mind is blank, so they hang up.

==Transcript==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 19
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|42jA7RuWTQ}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 18]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 20]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris''': Hello? 
'''Kacey''': Hey Chris, it's Kacey. What's up? 
'''Chris''': Hi Kacey. I'm okay, how are you? 
'''Kacey''': I'm good. 
'''Chris''': That's good. Hey I went-I went to uh my appointment with uh Dr. McGovern today ('''Kacey''': Uhhuh) and uh... Yeah turns out like you know. Yeah. Yeah about m-about my uh heart-my heart pains really you know. Uhm, anyways it's just basically all I need to do is just eh try not to stress out so much, and uh just... and uh continue taking on paroxitine I should be okay. 
'''Kacey''': MmmHmm. 
'''Chris''': Uh other than that uh... Guess what? Apparently uh last time when they weighed me I weighed 216. [pause] 216 pounds. 
'''Kacey''': Uh huh. 
'''Chris''': And uh they weighed me today, guess how much I was? Or how much I am? 
'''Kacey''': Uh... 
'''Chris''': [interrupting] 20-205. 
'''Kacey''': Oh nice. 
'''Chris''': I lost 11 pounds! 
'''Kacey''': Oh that's cool. I-I thought you said last time you weighed, you were like 220 something, I mean maybe I ('''Chris''': Uh) heard you wrong. 
'''Chris''': Yeah-or maybe I misremembered. 
'''Kacey''': Maybe. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Anyway I lost 11 pounds. [mumbles incoherently] Here's a funny part-here's a funny bit, I told my father 'Hey pop, I last-I lost 11 pounds!' and he said 'Okay. Well did you ever find it again?' 
'''Kacey''': [Laughs] 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah. I got that, I was like "Ha!". Yep. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, pretty funny. 
'''Chris''': Yeah anyway uh, got back home, did my-I did my walking and jogging and uh... then my father wanted to go out and run some errands so I went with him, then we came back and- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] How much did you Jog? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Oh I jogged about 3 minutes. 
'''Kacey''': 3 minutes? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Why would you even bother? That's-That's, what? 3 minutes? [Long pause] I mean you're going to have to push yourself, 3 minutes is nothing, that's like... I don't know could you even jog for only 3 minutes? That's, I don't know. 
'''Chris''': [pause][frustrated] Oh give me a break! At least I'm working up to uh... longer than that. 
'''Kacey''': [upset] Well YOU were telling me the other day you did 45 minutes! So, how do you go from 45 minutes to 3 minutes and then say that you are working to go above that? I mean did you lie to me? 
'''Chris''': Oh no wait you might've mis... understood. I said that... uh... it [unintelligible]- it takes like 45 minutes to a hour, for me to uh... walk a power walk... arou- Around the uh, neighborhood. 
'''Kacey''': Y-You told me that's how long you took: 45 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah to walk a power walk around neighborhood. Jogging would probably be... to be-Jogging around a whole...creation... like would be uh, [pause] probably take- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] Chris, you told ('''Chris''': b-b-but) me 45 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [pause] No, no. I did not say that. 
'''Kacey''': Y-Yes, yes you did. [Very long pause] ('''Chris''': Yeah-) I mean I-I have pretty good audio memory, so... 
'''Chris''': Hmm. [pause] Or... Maybe I-or maybe I mis... spoke I don't know. 
'''Kacey''': Maybe. 
'''Chris''': Well anyway... anyway I did that, and then my power walk to go uh... run some errands downtown, so I went with him and then we came back a long time later. And then I went on- then went to- then I went to the Library of Congress. And uh, took-and uh just went ahead and registered Sonichu for myself uh, and send them the uh, fil-send them the uh image files for book number 0 plus also some new scans of the-of... the uh, rough drawings- rough drawings I did, you know on notebook paper during accounting-I did during accounting class. And uh, a couple others, also the orig- the most original uh, Sonich-Sonichu Pokemon card... which uh, originally when I created it we only had a black and white printers, so we printed black and w- so I printed it in black and white, and then I colored it in with uh marker and crayon. 
'''Kacey''': [pause] Okay. 
'''Chris''': And anyway I scanned that and also send in the... the uh, images for my CD cover. And uh, I she wasn't-Oh yeah I scanned my medallion...as well. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, okay well just remember to check on everything you know, see the status. You want to make sure that you uh, keep up on that. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah well that's no problem. I mean I had the library of congress book ma-bookmarked on my... Firefox. [pause] 
'''Kacey''': Yep. 
'''Chris''': Mmm. Yeah, anyway I was-anyway after that... uh yeah, did the video books for uh book number...7, and...probably still uploading now like give me... a little while. 
'''Kacey''': Okay I'll be sure to check ('''Chris''': [unintelligible]) those out. 
'''Chris''': I just got-I just got a little life starting on that, but anyways also, Kim also, I talked to Kim, and uh... she told me that my... CWCipedia was back up, so... [unintelligible]-so then I went to update CWCipedia with the videos I had uploaded currently uh, before book number 7 ('''Kacey''': Uhhuh) and then book number-After the uh 7th book, video the uh, book 7 videos are uploaded, I'll update the CWCipedia with those as well. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. Well, uhm did you, ever add uh, those essays that you promised me that you would add from High school? 
'''Chris''': [pause, sigh] I have been-yeah I mean I uh yeah not yet-but I mean I haven't been able to because of CWCipedia was down for the uh, server updates. But I'll-I'll get thos-I'll get those, I promise you I will get those uh, essays... found, and on-and on to the uh, CWCipedia. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, you should totally do that I mean while you have a chance. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [pause] Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': I mean ('''Chris''': [unintelligible]) it's not like you have a lot more to do, you got that interview coming up, but that's about it. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I got that interview com-coming up. Yep. Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': Are-are you prepared for that? You know what you're going to say? And what you're not going to say? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I-yeah I feel-I feel pretty prepared. Uh, Kim and I did... did a mock interview the other night. And she gave me a little suggestion, like you know instead of saying "I got fired from Wendy's" "I got laid off for personal differences". 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, that's good! Just remember, stay as professional, and polite as you can. 
'''Chris''': Yeah that's no problem I mean I planning on wearing my uh, Blazer, and put on a nice uh, shirt and pants. 
'''Kacey''': Okay, and uh, just remember don't talk about Sonichu cause that's something totally different. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I'm not gonna-yeah I will not talk about that. 
'''Kacey''': And-and no medallion. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, no medallion. 
'''Kacey''': And uh, don't talk about trolls, they don't want to know, they don't need your life story, they just want to know whether you're going to work hard. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. That's no problem I-I plan-I... I intend to work hard. 
'''Kacey''': Well that's good, you need to let them know that. 
'''Chris''': Yeah I will let them know that as well. Oh, excuse me. [Barb walks into Chris's Room]. Hello! 
'''Barbara''': [inaudible throughout] 
'''Chris''': Hi mom, yeah sure I was just talking to Kacey. Okay. Hmm. So-so I'm sorry, what we're we talking about? 
'''Kacey''': Oh were talking about your job interview, and uhm, how you're gonna ace it. 
'''Chris''': Oh yeah, well that's no problem, I feel like I'm doing okay- I feel like I'm-I feel like do-I'm okay I mean uh... see most of the mock interview uh, Kim told me that I'd be okay. Uh, ('''Kacey''': That's good) uh and the only exception was the uh, you know, just having to correct me on- Instead of sayi- Instead of saying I got- instead of saying fired, just say laid off, due to personal differences. 
'''Kacey''': Yep. Euphemisms are always good. 
'''Chris''': [pause] Euphemisms... I never really understood what that word meant, I heard that word before. 
'''Kacey''': Mmm should probably just in a dictionary, it's an easy word. 
'''Chris''': Okay. [Silence] Yeah. Hmm. Okay so you had-Okay so how was you do today, very tough day, or did you have a easier one today? 
'''Kacey''': Well, I had, earlier school and I had a lab. Uhm, I was actually pretty easy, I just had a couple quizzes, and then I went home, and then I went to work, so I mean it was just normal. 
'''Chris''': Okay well that's good. Hmm. 
'''Kacey''': So how was your day? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah well I told you about it already, but yeah it- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] So that's all you did? I mean there's nothing else? ('''Chris''': Hmm) Anything on your mind? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Yeah uhm... I mean we- Yeah I mean I did watch some news as well uh... learned about- Learned a bit more about, uh, Creigh- Creigh Deeds and uh, Bob McDonnell being the upcoming Governor. [Pause] Uh, apparently I misunderstood about uh, McDonnell a little bit, it was Creigh Deeds that wants us- is The one that wants to do the tax raising. 
'''Kacey''': How do you feel about that? 
'''Chris''': [pause] Uh yeah, I-I-I am against it, I-I am against it t-the ra- the raising of the taxes. So, yeah apparently McDonnell is uh, against abortion. Alright, so then he would take- And uh If he were elected governor he would probably take that part away from, like you know even if- if even from unexpected, rape or incest, everything like that, or even- Or even prohibited from... Married people. So it's like uh, uh I'm not sure, I might go tax over- I'm gonna go tax over abortion on that note. 
'''Kacey''': Ar-Ar-Are you- Are you- Do you agree with that, or do you disagree with that? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I disagree with the abortion thing. 
'''Kacey''': No, no, no, but do you agree with what he's doing like he wants to make sure that no one, even incest, or rape can get abortions, or do you think that they should? 
'''Chris''': Yeah I feel like they have the right to. [Pause] I mean, it happened unexpectedly. [long pause] You know? 
'''Kacey''': MmmHmm. 
'''Chris''': And... It... It would just uh, it would not... seem right I mean it's nic- It's nice to know that- It's nice for those women to know that they have the option, and it's better to have the option than not have it. [Silence] 
'''Kacey''': I guess, but I mean I-I-I think you know like most bans are on, uhm, the late trimester ones, which yeah I mean by then you whether you want to have a kid or not, so you shouldn't wait till that long. [Silence] I mean, but still that's surprising cause abortion's extremely against the Christian religion I mean, so I'm surprised you go for that. 
'''Chris''': [Long Pause] Well. [Long Pause] I mean a... [pause] Yeah I'm just- I'm just... [long pause] [sigh] look I don't know what to say, but still, you know, I feel it's wrong to take away that choice for the women. [Pause] I mean especially if they, if it was a [unintelligible], if it was like uh, from a case of rape or a mis- Or a mistake, er you know? Something like that? 
'''Kacey''': Well the thing is, is, uhm, okay I can understand rape and incest, but abortion isn't birth control. If you are having sex you should fully know that your- you could have a kid. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. But I mean it's- I mean it's not like the woman is gonna know that she's gonna be raped right before it happens- 
'''Kacey''': [interrupting] That's what I said, not including that. I'm not including that, Chris. 
'''Chris''': Okay. [Pause] Hmm. [Very Long pause]. Hmm, okay well my mind's blank abou- My mind's blank right now. [Pause] 
'''Kacey''': Mmmkay you should probably get that checked out, remember that that could be a problem, but uhm, I'll talk to you tomorrow then. 
'''Chris''': Alright, well you take care, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Alright. Bye. 
'''Chris''': Buh bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?344ie3zcudag85a mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 20]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 18

2012-01-26T06:06:15Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Transcript */

==Highlights==

*[[Kacey]] prepared a list of questions for [[Chris]] for an essay she's writing.
*Chris states basic things like where he lives, his age, birthday, relatives, height etc.
*Chris struggles to remember the most basic facts about his family members including hair color, height and age.
*Above Chris's "left breast", he has a scar from a bike accident.
*Kacey tells Chris to go to the doctor.
*Chris thinks that [[Gregg Mays]] is [[Clyde Cash]], who died and came back from the dead under a new name. But really Gregg Mays killed Clyde and is pretending to by Clyde.
*Chris doesn't believe that [[Ryan Cash]] killed himself.
*Chris says the real reason that Clyde Cash [[trolls]] him is because Clyde is a [[homosexual]].
*Clyde tried to make Chris make a video of [[Sonic]] and Tails toys going on a homosexual date.
*The idea that Clyde is straight makes Chris [[stress sigh]].
*Chris claims that his passwords are complicated so Clyde must be a good hacker.
*Chris says that his last password was: "J04nE1de4R08i2on", which is an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Elder_Robison author's name] (incidentally, one with [[Asperger syndrome|aspergers]]). Kacey says this is leet speak, and Chris says that he's never heard that term before.
*Chris talked to Clyde earlier in the day. Clyde claimed that he tampered with Chris's [[PS3]].
*Chris turns his PS3 off and unplugs it when he is not using it, so Clyde can't hack into it to get his password.
*Kacey says that Chris should just break his PS3 so Clyde will stop bothering him. Chris claims that he can't break his PS3 because he has a PSP and that would break his [[PSP]] too.
*Chris says that video games are not the most important thing in his life, as finding a sweetheart in real life is.
*Chris has an interview next week at [[Target]].
*Chris says that he has tricked Clyde into not hacking him anymore by telling him that he doesn't care about his PS3 anymore; Kacey suggests making a video of pretending to give away his PS3 or throwing it in the trash. This idea makes Chris stress sigh.
*"When I say I am going to think about it, it means I am going to do it" -Chris, regarding stress sighing and saying he's working on it.
*Clyde told Chris to unscrew the system and to take out a battery so he can't be hacked anymore.
*Kim's boyfriend Logan told Chris that this is a safe thing to do.
*Kacey eventually gets Chris to say he will open his PS3 and remove the battery.
*Chris made an appointment with the doctor to talk about heart pains.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 18 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|zqe4tA2JEec}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 17]]
| next = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
}} </Center>
[Recording Begins]
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey it's Kacey, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just, you know, a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a little tired from the day
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [laughs] we both said yeah at the same time.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway I got you survey printed out. I can answer your questions for you now if you want me to. Or would you rather I send that back to you in text over the emails.
 '''Kacey:''' You can do both, it doesn't matter. If you want to do that I can get them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus you can write down the answers as I tell them to you right now, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah go ahead
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright well I'm 27 years old
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [sound of typing]
 '''Chris:''' I was born on February 21st, 1992
 '''Kacey:''' You said 1992, you mean 82 right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, 1982
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] okay
 '''Chris:''' Alright, and I live in the United States and my state area prefecture of birth would be Charlottesville, Virginia
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, [typing] so you've been there all your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I've been in Virginia all my life. Ah so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah that's all I need, that's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay I have two half brothers and one half-sister.
 '''Kacey:''' [typing] Their ages?
 '''Chris:''' Last time I checked, I think my half-brother is Allan is like 42
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' I think Cole- I think my half-brother Cole is like, uh, I don't know, 38 or 40, and I think Carol is like 37 I'm just guessing off the top of my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay that's fine [computer tone]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and uh let's see, you know, my father's 82 so take away 27 from his age, um, 62… He was like 55 and my mother will be 58 this year so, let's see, take away 20… um… Yeah take away 20… 48, and she was 41, so 55 and 41 respectively for my father and mother.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and I'm currently 5'10”.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm, I'm not sure if I'm the shortest or the tallest. I think Cole and Allan are a little bit taller than me the last time I was, you know, last time I was with them I was a little bit shorter than them. Mmm, and Carol might be shorter than me I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I'll put middle then.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mm'kay. And you know my eye color, one green and one blue, though they were originally blue, both of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay then, I'm going to put blue because it has to be genetic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I'm not sure about siblings sharing the same eye color.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Ah, yeah I'm right handed, and I'm pretty sure my siblings are right handed too.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I'm brown haired so are Cole and Allan, and I believe Carol was a blonde.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [typing]
 '''Chris:''' Alright and the fine markings [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Also before you get into that, were your half-brothers and your half sisters on your mom's side or your dad's side because that's important.
 '''Chris:''' Okay Allan and Carol were on my father's side. Joseph Cole Smithy was on my Mother's side.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, and no defining markings? Okay then that's all I need.
 '''Chris:''' No wait a minute, I do have a defining marking.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [breathing sound]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, on my chest above my left breast [laughs] above my left breast. There's this oval shaped, badge-like scar that I got from a bicycle accident when I was like five to seven years old.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that's not genetic so I don't need that, but thank you [coughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean you said, you know if it's scarring or marking related to include that-
 '''Kacey:''' But it has to be genetically related, a bicycle accident isn't genetic, but thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that pretty much covers it then.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay thank you [laughs] I appreciate it. I need to get a lot more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean that was all the questions you had in the email so far.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I need to get a lot more people to do it, I need like forty people per time zone.
 '''Chris:''' Forty people per time zone?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Wow, there are a lot of time zones.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah for America, everything else you have to do by country. But, if you had an accident doing a bike before maybe you should ride bikes instead of jogging that would help a lot and get your heart rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, okay
 '''Kacey:''' By the way, did you get those emails about heart rate?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got your email about heart rate, I haven't listened to that yet but I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I was kind of busy between today and yesterday, because this fella who calls himself Gregg Mays, but I'm pretty sure it's also Clyde Cash because he called me-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought he was dead.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I thought so too, but he decided to come back by a different name of Gregg Mays, I also recognized him as such-
 '''Kacey:''' How could someone come back from the dead Chris, what is he like a zombie or something?
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know. This guy was assuming a different- This guy was [pause] Okay it's like this, aside from his original name, whatever it was, he was going by a different name.
 '''Kacey:''' But he was dead, so he's a zombie.
 '''Chris:''' No, I mean this guy was pretending to be Clyde Cash, it's like he could kill the pretend person and still be alive himself. Like say-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, so you thinking this guy killed the guy and is pretended to be him, who would be a zombie?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me give you an example. Let's say I was going around pretending to be Christopher, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' You mean my Chris? You couldn't do that, no way (laughs).
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. Anyway I'm just doing this by a name basis only. But anyway, let's say I was going around the internet picking on this guy who- and I keep telling them my name is Christopher.
 '''Kacey:''' But you do tell everyone that your name is Christopher.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me change- let me start over then. Okay, let's pretend that I was going around the internet calling myself Dick, alright? Dick. And I was bugging on this guy, bullying him, and then he decides to stand up against me and take down my source of anger against him, and then it's like, “Oh my God okay, I'm going to go kill myself.” So Dick kills himself, and is dead. But that doesn't mean that I, Christian am dead, it's just the character of Dick is dead.
 '''Kacey:''' So the guy kills himself, and he's dead, and he comes back as a zombie. Okay I got it, he must have like, the T-Virus or something.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no he did not really kill himself, he just killed the character.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how did he kill the character? That's just crazy! So it's a character-zombie, okay!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] It's a- Okay, you know characters are made it. It's not necessarily the person that did it-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, how could the character be dead if it's made up?
 '''Chris:''' Okay you know the guy that plays House on House? His name is not really-
 '''Kacey:''' That's an actor
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know that's an actor yeah. That's what I've been talking about, this guy was an actor.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would an actor be doing this, that doesn't make sense. Was he getting paid or something?
 '''Chris:''' No, he's not a real actor. He was just acting in his self-proclaimed role as Clyde Cash. And then, it's like in the show he kills- it's like the character Clyde Cash is dead, but the actor for real is still alive.
 '''Kacey:''' But why would an actor be messing with you? So you think this Clyde Cash person is not Clyde Cash. But he made Clyde Cash dead, and now Clyde Cash is back, therefore the character-zombie. And now he works on House, I got it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] No, no, no. The guy who was Clyde Cash, is now pretending to be Gregg Mays. I also recognized the email address. The very same email address that Clyde Cash used those months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well if it's still the same email address then he's pretending to be the same person right? Therefore [sound break] a zombie! [laughs] I mean, just tell him he's a zombie. Be like, “no you're not a zombie.”
 '''Chris:''' Uh no he's-
 '''Kacey:''' People don't come back from the dead, they just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- [stress sigh] Jeez. I mean, come on, in reality this guy is by a whole different name. We're not sure what his real identity is. And he's been fooling around chasing me- and he was chasing me around the internet claiming to be going by the name Clyde Cash. And then, he claims that he's going to kill- he claims that Clyde Cash is going to kill himself. So the character dies, but the actor is still alive, and now the actor returns and goes by a different character of Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh so he's like Carmen Sandiego he goes everywhere and he has disguises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah aliases, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, why would you think he would come back if he killed himself, or the character-zombie off. That doesn't make sense, why would he come back. And why would you think he's a character anyway. Maybe this guy is real…and undead.
 '''Chris:''' I know the person, the guy is real. But he was pretending to be-
 '''Kacey:''' But maybe he really is this Clyde Cash though, that's what I don't get. People don't just do that, they don't pretend to be different people. Why is he after you anyway? What did you do to him?
 '''Chris:''' I have done nothing to him. I did not know him, until a whole big number of months- like a number of months ago, and then he hacked into my web-hosting site starting with my original Tripod site and then-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there has to be a reason. What happened? He's got to be a reason for this vendetta.
 '''Chris:''' I have no idea. I never knew the guy personally.
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing happened to him that would make him angry at you? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I don't-
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't sound right. Did you ever hurt his feelings, or maybe it was through somebody else that knows him that you know?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] He's-
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way a random person would just pretend this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, I know. Okay, yeah. Supposedly Clyde Cash's story for him trolling me was that supposedly he quote-unquote brother, Ryan Cash, committed suicide, after the one-time threat, after I found the ED Page, and I was like, “That's it, I'm not drawing anymore comics.” Then supposedly Ryan killed himself, suicide, because of my little hint there. But then, I did continue on into the comics.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but then you have to own up to those consequences of your actions. This guy is probably real then. I know I'd be really upset if one of my siblings killed themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah [stress sigh] I did apologize, and I felt sorry for-
 '''Kacey:''' Was it a very heartfelt apology?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But he still trolls me-
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe it wasn't enough if he's still after you. I don't think this is an act, or something--

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 18 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|DnRp6jwsKCo}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 19]]
}} </Center>
 '''Kacey:''' It's not a game, there's no zombies.
 '''Chris:''' The only other instinct that he might have against me is because he's an obvious homosexual.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, what does that have to do with anything?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not particularly fond of homosexual dudes. I think we've been over that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but how do you think he's gay? How is it obvious? Has he hit on you? Have you seen him having gay sex?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] No I don't have visual proof, but he just sounds-
 '''Kacey:''' Then he's probably not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, unless he's come on to you, or you've seen him, he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually I can tell you this. In his recent threat, after he stole my Playstation Network account the first time, day before yesterday, he wanted me to make a video of my Sonic and Tails plush dolls going on a homosexual date and having homosexual sex.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he would just be doing that to bother you because he knows how much you hate gay people. I don't think a gay person would do that, in fact that sounds like something a straight guy would do because they think it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' A gay person wouldn't think that's funny because it's too close to them. That's really proof he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' Gay people don't act like that
 '''Chris:''' Well, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' He's probably 100% straight-
 '''Chris:''' (Sigh) well
 '''Kacey:''' -and a T-Virus zombie.
 '''Chris:''' Look forget the word zombie right now okay?
 '''Kacey:''' [Laughs] But, that's what it sounds like right now, I mean, it's a joke.
 '''Chris:''' That's what it may sound like but that is not the case, I mean, yeah Kim can tell you a lot more about Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays when y'all talk next time. Mmm but anyway, yeah, I did not follow up on his- like, as if I'm going to do that. Anyway, then I called Sony and got my account back, 5:30 pm. Thursday? Wednesday? It's Friday now, yeah, Wednesday. I got it back 5:30 Wednesday. I changed the password and the email address. But then, somehow, and I had not even told anybody my new email address and the password [voice gets high-pitched] and at 11:30 he get's into my main Playstation account again!
 '''Kacey:''' Well if he's done it before, he's probably really good at it. He probably doesn't need anything to go on, he's probably just some super-hacker. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] Anyway, yesterday afternoon I called Sony and told them about this guy hacking into my account again and they're like, “Okay well, since you backed up will changed you Sonichu ID back and get you a temporary password and put your account on hold, on suspension, and our crack team will investigate this guy further, and see how he was able to get into your account.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you make it an easy password and login?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Kacey:''' Do you make it easy for someone to figure out? Some people say never make your passwords birthdates or the word “God” or something. Is it easy? Do you use the same password over and over?
 '''Chris:''' Actually no, my password is very complicated. Okay, well I'll tell it to you since it's already used up at this point. The last password I used was capital J, zero, four, lower case N, capital E, one, lower case D, E, four, capital R, zero-eight, lower case I, two, lower case O, N. [J04nE1de4R08i2on]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, um. So that's just a random string of words, how do you remember that?
 '''Chris:''' Actually in this case, this was an author's name. I take his name and change some of his letters to numbers. You know, three can look like M, or N's, E or W.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, well. Maybe he's cracked that code. If you use that a lot he knows what it is. I hate leet speak, it's so stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak?
 '''Kacey:''' Leet speak, that's what it's called when you change letters into numbers like that.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak? I've never heard of that before. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. I often like to spell words backwards, and say them backwards like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should look it up. But still, maybe he's just cracked your code. He's probably really good at what he does.
 '''Chris:''' Actually I talked- Actually while I was waiting for Kim, I picked up on him calling me twice tonight. I also talked to him the night before a little bit. He said that he supposedly tampered with my PS3. I mean other than- I mean, I'm not sure how he could do that.
 '''Kacey:''' He could! I mean, there's tons of ways for people to do stuff like that. You should probably listen to him. If he's done it before he's going to do it again.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Especially with all the times you download stuff to your PSN, yeah he could probably do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, well anyway I currently have my Playstation 3 turned off and unplugged so he cannot get to the new passwords and email addresses from my other accounts aside from the named one. Anyway, aside from that-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he'll break it or something, but then this would all be over and then it wouldn't matter right?
 '''Chris:''' Maybe he'll break it?
 '''Kacey:''' Why not if he can mess with it further? Maybe you should just give up on it. Obviously this guy is going to be after you, is it really worth it?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well I'm not going to give up on my PSN on that note you know, someone will help me-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just videogames.
 '''Chris:''' -my main account back. Yeah, but still so much I could be able to do only when I have access to my account. Like, you cannot be logged off your Playstation Network Account and copy your PS1 classic or PSP games to the PSP, or even the videos you download through the Playstation Network you have to be logged into the Playstation Network in order to copy the videos and those games to the-
 '''Kacey:''' But still, videogames. I mean, it's not going to be a huge loss.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm
 '''Kacey:''' If you make them so important, of course he's going to go for those. He's probably going after the most important thing in your life right now, which would be videogames.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, uh yeah, as if that's the most important thing in my life- I mean most important thing in my life right now is going out in real life and trying to find myself a woman to be sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... That's not a goal that should be your priority. That's- especially if you hadn't spent most of your time playing videogames you might have been successful by now. But still, your priority should be getting a job and getting out of the house and I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately-
 '''Kacey:''' -Keeping your promises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately I am on the verge of getting a job you know, I got my interview next Tuesday at Target.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well good luck on that. But, I don't know, maybe you should just let it go.
 '''Chris:''' You're still talking about the videogames aren't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah especially if you have all this going for you now, you probably should just be like, make him think you don't care.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I pretty much given him that impression at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' Plus it probably would make you a lot more appealing if you really want a girlfriend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I should know, I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. But anyway, maybe he'll back off a little bit now on that note. Especially since-
 '''Kacey:''' Well he's not going to if you make it such a big deal, and you keep going after it. You're seriously just going to have to be like, “You know what? Fine, I don't need it anymore.” It's how those psychos think.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm…
 '''Kacey:''' He's going to know you want it back if you keep trying. You're going to have to trick him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I am tricking him right now, I mean a little bit. When he called-
 '''Kacey:''' No you're not you're worrying over it. You want to get it back. You're going to have to be serious and say, “I don't care anymore.”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I did tell him that, yeah. I did tell him that.
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video of you throwing it away or something- giving it away. Just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Obviously he's watching you and following you.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' You've got to give him a direct message. You've got to outsmart him. You're smart, you can do it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah I mean, I don't want to have to give it away for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then he's just going to keep doing this, and you're basically asking him to do it. That's the point of the video though, to just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Maybe he'll take it at face value. It's worth a shot.
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, I'll think about it. I will think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should do it. Because when you say, “I'll think about it,” It means you're not going to do it.
 '''Chris:''' No, when I say, “I'll think about it,” It means I'll think about it, and then I am likely to do it. I mean, I told you I thought about the exercise and sorry, it's just- I thought about calling the doctor and I called the-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you need to shake this guy, because obviously he's mentally imbalanced. I would do anything I can to get rid of him. Especially if he has anything to do with your PS3 being bugged or something. I'd be like, “Screw this, I don't need this anymore.” I mean he's probably already heard it by now.”
 '''Chris:''' He's probably already heard it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if he's done something to it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well anyway, he also told me something else, I should take it apart and remove the battery that's by the Blu-ray Drive, and then that will do something to the mod chip and then put the battery back it. It's not like I'm going to listen to him like that, I'd only do it if Sony suggested I do it. Or like, I need a professional like Kim's boyfriend Logan. She confirms to me that he knows pretty much about that so you know, I told her to ask him that for me about what will happen if I remove the battery from the Blu-Ray drive area there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe you should do it. If he's really got something in your PS3 he's not just doing it for fun. You probably should listen to him. It couldn't hurt to just look.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I'm not sure, I mean- If I remove the battery it might wipe out my user list on my PS3.
 '''Kacey:''' No it won't it's just the battery! Batteries don't hold memory or information, what?
 '''Chris:''' It's like if you remove the battery from a clock radio, a digital clock radio okay? That's like an internal battery and then the power goes out-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not a computer, that's different. I can remove my hard drive from my computer and none of my stuff is going to be erased.
 '''Chris:''' Alright
 '''Kacey:''' It's made to hold that memory. It's not going to hurt it. It's not a clock radio, I think it's a little more advanced than that. I mean, I thought you were good at electronics.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am fairly good at electronics, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should know something so basic.
 '''Chris:''' Well I just didn't know for sure about what he's saying here.
 '''Kacey:''' No it should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' Haven't you replaced any hard drives before in anything?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing gets erased.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, I have replaced the hard drive in my PS3 drive twice, from the original-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Alright I'll do it, I'll take it apart and look for the battery, and remove it and then put it back in. I mean, after we finish up this conversation here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Mm'kay
 '''Kacey:''' Alright I might be late tomorrow because I close, but I'll talk to you later.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well also I'll just let you know I called up the doctor's (?) office earlier today and I made an appointment to see him this morning at 10:45 or 10:30 I forget which one. Anyway talking about my chest- talking about my heart pains.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, heart pain?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, didn't you and Kim talk about this? She told you had talked about this.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah okay I remember.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna go see him about that this morning. Mm'kay. Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow, you take care okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well if you're having heart pains over this, that's a good reason to get rid of this shit. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, just feel better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, bye
 '''Chris:''' bye-bye

[recording ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?c29bsshpf7ccuiy mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 17

2012-01-26T06:00:58Z

Giantgroundsloth:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|What Chris thinks Kacey would look like as a [[Pokemon]].|thumb]]

In this short call, [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] talk about which [[Pokemon]] Kacey would be. She's offended because Chris called her a Miltank in conversations with Kim. Chris also talks about a [[troll]] trying to copyright [[Sonichu]] - apparently Chris sent a handwritten letter to the Library of Congress asking for an FBI investigation to find out who is the original creator of the electric abomination. After just 8 minutes, Chris leaves because of a headache and having to use the bathroom.

==Transcript==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 17
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9rlJe5lr6xA}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 16]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 18]]
}} </Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from Kim, and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- I just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh]
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... [short pause] anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definite proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last September. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you received something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever receive a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... I mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, I mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8gfn84h4wfvearc mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 16

2012-01-26T05:51:15Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Transcript */

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc91309.mp3

*[[Chris]] went to a potluck but didn't bring any food for anyone else.
*[[Kacey]] tells Chris off for eating the yolk of an egg. Chris lies and says that there was no yellow in the egg.
*Chris jogged for two minutes and got worn out.
*Chris claims that he has a 36 inch waist. Kacey says that he's lying.
*Chris's bust size is 43. "It fits like a glove!" "It feels so good!"
*Kacey says Chris should go to Victoria's Secret to get measured again. Chris says this is a good idea, and he will get measured for his bust, waist, and hips. Kacey almost starts giggling.
*They talk more about Chris sending all his receipts and [[PSN]] shit to Kacey.
*Chris says he's going to try to save 200 dollars over three months to go to Nekucon. He also says he's going to spend 60 dollars a month to go to a gym. Kacey says that Chris wouldn't actually use it.
*Chris thinks he can bench 50-100 pounds. He also thinks that leg muscles (quads) are called that because most animals have four legs.
*Chris asks Kacey if she's working on making a survey for her class. She pulls a "IAHM WORKIN ON IT!" and immediately switches the topic to Chris cleaning his [[room]].
*Chris says he's working on a drawing of him and Kacey having a foursome.
*Kacey said she saw a spoiler list for [[Sonichu]]'s last issue. Chris gets really confused and says it's not real. He then tells what REALLY happens later in Sonichu, talks about the cure for being [[gay]]. "Make a vaccine to make the world right and straight!" Stabs [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] in the throat with his gay cure.
*Kacey says he needs to make comics faster, and to make drawing for her faster because he has nothing else to do. Chris bullshits around saying he'll work on it.
*Kacey disconnects and Chris is just saying "KACEY? KACEY? HELLO? HM. WHERE'D YOU GO? HELLO? I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW, BYE-BYE". We can hear Skype sounds in the background.

==Transcript==
==Part 1==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 16 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|kHqpx_4_o1U}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 15]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris''': Hello? 
'''Kacey''': Hey Chris, it's Kacey! How are you? 
'''Chris''': Hi Kace. I'm good, how are you? 
'''Kacey''': I'm okay. Uh, how are you? Y- oh, I already asked that, never mind. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [Laughs] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Um, so, how was your day? 
'''Chris''': Well it's- it was good, uh, it was good. I had a pleasant time- I had a pleasant time at church today uh, we had a little... picnic outside, there was a Potluck Picnic, so people brought food, uh, uh... someone brought some chicken so I had- so I had a wing of that, and uh, some- and uh, vegetables and broccoli, and carrots... uh, also I had some rice. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, that's cool. I don't like broccoli though. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': I think broccoli's kinda gross. Did you bring any food, since it seems that everyone brought something? 
'''Chris''': Uh, no I- no, I didn't even r-realize it so, no. [Pause] Oh well, never mind. Maybe next- maybe next time. Anyway uh, after that I went home. Uh... yeah, sorta- [unintelligible] I, uh, was just telling you and- and uh, I asked mom if I could go out with my- go out with her to my bar- to uh, Country Cookin', so we- so, yeah, went out with them, and uh, yeah. Uh, the plan is we usually uh, if we were still- or- what we used to do, we would order the uh, entree, and take the entree home and eat from the salad bar, 'cause the salad bar comes with the entree. Um, I ordered uh, a grilled chicken with a baked potato to bring home and, I just had uh, I just had a good healthy side with uh, romaine let- with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, cheese and eggs. 
'''Kacey''': Well, cheese really doesn't belong in a salad, you know that right? And uh, eggs, you really gotta watch out for those too, I mean did you eat the yellow part? 'Cause you shouldn't. 
'''Chris''': Uh... okay, uh- uh- no, no, they were all- they were whites. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. Normally in salads they put both in there, but okay. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm- I'm- I'm- I made- I uh, made sure got whites, and all they had were whites in there, so yeah. [Pause] Hmm, anyway after we got home, I uh... I went out and I jogged for a couple of minutes, and then I, and- I jogged for two minutes and then, uh, got a little worn out after that, so I did- so I- walked to the- I walked... slow walked some of it and I- [unintelligible] power walked the rest of the way home. 
'''Kacey''': Uh, how long did you power walk for? Even though you really should be jogging, but still. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I would say I power walked... about two thirds of the trek. 
'''Kacey''': Well ho- well, how long is that? Like, in, hours? Like, a half hour? 
'''Chris''': Hmm... yeah, usually it takes me a whole- a whole hour to walk the almost two mile trek around the neighborhood. So I would say roughly about 40- I would say roughly about 40 minutes. 30 to 40 minutes. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] So you- so you walked for 40 minutes? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Well, I mean, are you weighing yourself to make sure you're making any progress? Or, you know, checking inches? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm checking inches. [Pause] And I'm definitely- 
'''Kacey''': Do you have your measurements then? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] I don't have them written down, but I know I'm lo- I know- I know that there- I have taken a measurements uh, the other day... um... shoot, what was it? I think it was like, uh... 4- I think was like, uh, 38, 40 waist. And then I measured myself today, uh... yeah well- lost about, uh, half an inch, so it's like 37.5 to 39.5, yeah- or wait no, yeah it was 37.5. 
'''Kacey''': Well, Chris, I've seen you before, you don't look like you have a 37 inch waist, uh, where did you... where- 
'''Chris''': Uh I-I, well... well, maybe not the- 
'''Kacey''': Where did you measure? 
'''Chris''': Um, uh, I measured my gut. 
'''Kacey''': You- well, you do know where to properly measure, right? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. Around. 
'''Kacey''': I- I- I know, but there is certain places you need to. Um, how 'bout your hip size? 
'''Chris''': Hmm, my hip size, we're talkin' 'bout my waist size, right? Or my pants- 
'''Kacey''': No, no, no, no, it- it- it's bust, waist, and hips. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Okay, I'm not really sure about my hips, um, I think my hips are like, uh- 
'''Kacey''': I thought you said you knew how to do this! 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Well I'm not sure what my hip size is, I mean I know my bust size is 43. [Pause] And I just told you that my- my c- my belly was like thirty- was like thirty-seven. Point five. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well, maybe you should get properly measured. Um, 'cause you know, the Walmart lady could have done it wrong too, you know. They don't normally measure people. 
'''Chris''': Uh... but, yeah, well I mean I... just asked for my bust s- I just asked for my bust size. When I asked the Walmart lady. [Pause] Hm. Anyway, uh, okay well. But I think uh, you know the w- the lady accurately measured my bust 'cause you know uh, I'm wearing a 42- a size 42 sports bra and it fits me like a glove! And it fits good. 
'''Kacey''': You mean it fits well. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Fits well and good. Feels very comfortable. I guess that's what I mean when I say comfortable that it fits- I mean that's what I mean when I say it fits good that's... very comfortable and not too tight. [Pause] And plus the fabric, uh plus the uh, quality of the- and the plus the material it does feel good against my skin. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Okay well, as- as long as it's not too tight. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': But, you know, still. Umm, but yeah, you should get properly measured. I mean, 'cause- 
'''Chris''': Yeah, okay well- okay- 
'''Kacey''': -normally in a guy, their waist and their hip size is bigger than their bust size normally, you know. I don't know. It's- it- you know, normally the girls are the ones that have the hourglass figures. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. I have seen- I have seen that, yeah. 
'''Kacey''': You could- you could go to Victoria's Secret, they'll do it. [Pause] And they know how to properly do it, they're trained. 
'''Chris''': Alright, well, next time I go to the mall, I'm gonna head out to- I'm gonna head out tomorrow. I've got a scheduled meeting with Rocky tomorrow, so I'll wander over to Victoria's Secret and uh, ask them to possibly measure me for my, uhh bust, waist and hips. 
'''Kacey''': They would be happy to do that. 
'''Chris''': Oh, wait, I think I just remembered what my pants size is. It's size 36 or 37. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well, do you get a- 
'''Chris''': My pants size- 
'''Kacey''': Do they- do they fit well? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, my pants fit well. [Pause] I mean- I mean I'm just saying that uh, you know- I remembered looking at the uh, tag before. And yeah, I believe it was a 36-37. I'd have to... either take these pants off or look- or uh, go look at another pair to tell you for sure. 
'''Kacey''': Uh, I don't know, that just- just seems off to me. 
'''Chris''': 36 or 37... pants size? I think that's hip size, right there, isn't it? 
'''Kacey''': Uh, no, no... uh, no. It's supposed to be waist size and then there's like inseam and stuff but I don't really wanna go into it. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, they're not stretched or anything, is th- are they? 
'''Chris''': Uh, no they're not stretched. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. [Pause] That just, you know. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right. Definitely, definitely, get um... get that measured. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'll do that tomorrow. I will do that tomorrow. Mmm. Ye- oh, by the way, did you recei- did you uh, get the uh, receipt- the receipt .JPEGs I sent you? I put that up- 
'''Kacey''': Oh, yes, yes I did. Um- 
'''Chris''': It turns out- it turns out I forgot to attach in the first one. I checked it out and I- 
'''Kacey''': I saw. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, and I had saved the email. Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah. Well, I got them and, um, I'll definitely be... figuring some out but yeah, like I mean, I think you should try to not buy anything video game related for like a month. Especially from the PSN. 'Cause I mean, I know you- I mean, downloadable content is when they- where they get you the most. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, okay. Alright, well anyway, aside from that, like you know, yeah I am definitely planning on taking advantage of that 60 days for 60 dollar plan that my doctor was able to inform me about. I plan on taking advantage of that next month. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, put- I think you should try to put everything into your savings. As much as you can. Try not to spend anything extra. Try to eat at home, you know, try to entertain yourself. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah. I understand. But... you know, I think I uh, clarified with you that I was gonna save 200 dollars between October and November for NekoCon. 
'''Kacey''': Well, you should be able to do 200 dollars a month! 
'''Chris''': Yeah- I mean no- I mean, yeah I would get 200 dollars a month, but I'm thinking of like, you know, allowing for like, you know, for a little something on the side for myself. You know. 
'''Kacey''': Like what? 
'''Chris''': Oh, like for example, like you know, I'm planning on spending 60 dollars next month, on my- on the, uh... on the gym- on the uh, gym plan. For the ACAC Fitness Center. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Yeah, but are you actually gonna use it? 
'''Chris''': Yes! I mean the plan is, like, yeah, it's like two half hour sessions a week, but then I can also use the facilities at any time outside of those two half hour sessions, as well. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. [Pause] But still, y-you should save some money. Especially if it's really important. I mean, you could go out jogging on your own, and I mean, if you can't do five miles, you're not going to be able to do a gym yet. You're gonna have to work yourself up to it. 
'''Chris''': I c- I can- I can work a gym. I have worked a gym before. I think I've told you about me working at the YMCA? 
'''Kacey''': You probably didn't know what you were doing, though. 
'''Chris''': I'd- I had- I had a good understanding of what I was doing. I mean, I took physical education classes throughout... pretty much my whole s- my whole school life. 
'''Kacey''': They don't teach you anything. I- it's just PE. 
'''Chris''': I mean I learned- I mean I learned about weight lifting among other things and, uh- see, in my PE class they- 
'''Kacey''': Okay, how much can you bench? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] I cannot say for sure how much I- 
'''Kacey''': Well you should know this if you know about weight lifting, I mean that's pretty simple. 
'''Chris''': I can prob- I mean, uh... yeah, I can probably bench 50 to 100. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. Um, what pound weights do you use? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] What pound weight do I use? I think I use- 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, like when you do, like- no, like when you do just normal like, bicep curls, and you work your quads. Do you even know what quads are? 
'''Chris''': Oh yeah. Quads are, uh... muscles in the legs. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah, anyway, uh- 
'''Kacey''': You know why they call them quads? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Hm. Probably named after the fact that most the uh, animals are four-legged. Uh, yeah they walk on four legs. Even though we- even though we humans walk on two. It's leg strength, so... yeah- 
'''Kacey''': No, actually it's because it's a series of four muscles. And it has, um, four different insertion points, but that was a good guess. 
'''Chris''': [Laughing] Yeah, okay! Yeah, okay, four different insertion points, okay. Uh, but anyway, uh, much I can do for like- when- it- and when it comes to dumbbells, and doing the uh, simpler exercises like uh, you just mentioned, I can do like 15 or 25 pound dumbbells. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Kacey''': But, still, like if you can't even... walk... or, I mean, you're just walking and power walking now. If you can't even jog or run, you might wanna hold off on the gym for a bit. 
'''Chris''': I ''can'' jog. I ''have'' jogged. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, that's right, for uh, 40 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [Sighs, pauses] Well a lack of- (?) 
'''Kacey''': Well I mean, doing it for 40 minutes is kind of impressive. 
'''Chris''': Alright. I mean, it's just like, you know, when it comes- when it comes to the neighborhood, it's like mostly up and- it's like mostly up and down inclines, and the uphills do- uh

==Part 2==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 16 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|QISl3QrI9Ic}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 17]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris''': take a... quite a bit out of me, especially the steep one when going clockwise around that loop. Going counter-clockwise, it's not as steep. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. Yeah, inclines are always good. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, they do have- I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, you have not come by my house yet, so you wouldn't really know the slope of, uh... the layout of the uh, neighborhood. Um, that I would be talking about, all the inclines and whatnot. 
'''Kacey''': But I can- I still know what inclines are. I'm not stupid. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, I know you're not stupid, hehe... I mean, especially like, you know, if you are from my house (?), and then- and then you go clockwise, you don't know how steep the incline upward is. In fact, it is a pretty steep incline. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. 
'''Chris''': I mean, compared to the other up inclines. [Pause] It is a steep incline. [Pause] Hm. Anyway, um... let's see. Yes, so you had- so you had yourself a uh, good day today? 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, I mostly did review. I have some tests this week coming up, so you know, I wanna be prepared. 
'''Chris''': Okay, well that's good. Ye- oh, by the way, uh... how 'bout that survey I was gonna- I'm gonna do for ya? 
'''Kacey''': Um, I am still in the process of making it. It's actually really simple, but I'll have it out later this week. Um, I work, um, every day this week mostly, so, um I'll probably- I'm gon- I'm trying to shoot for uh, Tuesday, Thursday. Oh, umm... how's your room coming? 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, I'm taking some- I'm taking a few- I've taken uh, some of the posters down, I'm gonna- I'm gonna do more on it tonight and tomorrow. And I'll show you the- I'll- I'll send you the pictures tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Okay, yeah, 'cause remember, um, it has to be done by tomorrow. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [Pause] That's- yeah, I get it, uh, y'know, deadline being like- yeah, let's put that at like midnight tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': 'Bout that? Alright. Yeah, I mean like you know, may as well be, you know, if it's gotta be done by Mon- by Monday, I mean it can't be done by Tuesday, so there you are. But yeah, I have been- 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, you might wanna start workin' on it tonight, huh? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I mean, I have started work. I'm going to do some- and I'm going to do some more- I'm going to, uh... finish it and make it, uh... not so crowded on the walls. And the ceiling. 
'''Kacey''': Mm-hm. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. You'll see. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well that's good, I look forward to it. 
'''Chris''': Okay. Yeah and also I can uh, clean up the room, it's uh, pretty much just as- asiding (?) me from uh... uh, from the inspiration to continue the uh, sex drawings but uh, yeah I st- I still have the uh, one test drawing of the uh, four- of the foursome between us done, between me and my girls done. 
'''Kacey''': Oh yeah, well, I- I- I definitely wanna see that but in speaking of drawings, um, I saw a spoiler list for Sonichu detailing the end of every character for Sonichu! Uh, some of them were extremely interesting, especially um, Kel marrying, uh, N- Naitsirhc? [Chris tries to interrupt, unintelligible] Ruh- er- n- no? 
'''Chris''': 'Kay, stop. Every charac- uh, at the end of every character? 
'''Kacey''': Detailing the end for every character, you know like, the end of their story like, who they get married to, what they're doing? Like, you know, Kel marries, uh, Reldnahc? Naitsirhc? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Like... uh... 
'''Kacey''': Uh, Darkbind r- rescues, uh, Zelina? 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah. Well, I- I can tell you right now that those all- those- those spoilers are definitely not official. All the uh, details- 
'''Kacey''': But they sound like everything that you would like! I mean, you've even put stuff like this in the CWC- um, in the CWCipedia, and I mean like it even has you having a daughter named Crystal. It doesn't say who the sweetheart is, though. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, but I mean- 
'''Kacey''': But I mean, does this mean that Darkbind won't rescue Zelina? And Kel won't get married? And Wild won't save his father and you're not gonna have a s- sweetheart? Heh. 
'''Chris''': Oh, wait, wait. No- okay, well I'm not necessarily saying that all those spoilers are false, I'm not necessarily saying that. Uh, I mean, I cannot say that I have seen these- I have not seen these spoilers, so I would not know for sure. I mean, but still, I mean like, you know. For what they could be saying about Mary Lee Walsh and, uh, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. And there's a difference between Reldnahc and Naitsirhc. I mean, original Naitsirhc, he's just Naitsirhc. But then after- but then after that incident back in book #5, he became Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, g- uh- he added two additional names. Otherwise, he's just Naitsirhc whatever Giovanni's last name is. 
'''Kacey''': Well, he turns good according to these spoilers. So does he turn good? 
'''Chris''': Uh, yeah. Alright, well here's a spoiler for you about Reldnahc. Yeah, b- [Audio cuts?] 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Uh-huh? 
'''Chris''': Sorry there. Okay, while I am in the different dimension I have actually uh, gone into the bits of the future, before I had to go back in a different dimension. In fact... one of my destinations were- one of my destinations was this laboratory. Where uh, the scientists have already separated and isolated the uh, gay gene. Sorta like a play (?) from that Family Guy episode a little bit but still, they isolated the gay gene and it's like, now they wanna isolate the straight gene, so they can uh, actually- so they can actually make the vaccine that can- that can make the whole- that can make the world wide, um, straight. So- so like, you know, yeah I'm- I get in there just as they were talking about that and it's like, "Sure, I'll volunteer, I'm straight. Take some of my blood." And then they- and then they consensually str- they, they s- suh- they successfully isolate the straight gene from my blood. I even take a- I even take a couple of vials of it with me... and- a couple of vials and needles, and uh- and- with me, and I- I store them away in my pockets. So if there- y'know, they're, y'know, wrapped in casing so, no, they're not gonna- so they wouldn't break or... or hit me or- or penetrate or anything. Well anyway, when I go back into the different dimension, the after- the after I do get back out of the different dimension, I'm rescued by uh, Wild and Magi-Chan Sonichu. Uh, so like teamwork there, coming in- coming into there. Um, anyway. Uh... in book #10, yeah I would be in- I would be approached by Reldnahc. And then, uh- and then we go into a little bit of a battle, then I'll have him in a neck hold, and I'll pull out one of my needles and my blood. And then with my straight gene isolated, in that- in my straight gene, I'll be like, "Hey Reldnahc! Suck my blood!" And then I puncture him with the uh, needle. And then the- and then all- everything oppos- and then everything about Reldnahc that is definitely the opposite of me including being homosexual just leaves. And it's like Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is totally destroyed, and he goes back to just being Naitsirhc. 
'''Kacey''': Oh! Nice! When are you gonna finish this? I mean, I wanna get to this, so you gotta, uh, definitely speed up the comics. I mean, you know, this one's being really slow. 
'''Chris''': Ugh. Yeah. I ''know''. [Pause] I'm dr- and I'm work- and I'm working on, y- you know... trying to keep a- trying to make a schedule so that I can do that. But then the other things keep coming up, like I'm doing the audio books- um, the video books, and the sex drawings. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, but I mean it's like, y'know, most things have things that come out at least quarterly. Or, you know, things that come out every month, like little smaller episodes. Like I mean, you could ser- you can seriously crank these out a lot quicker. 
'''Chris''': Ugh. Yeah, but at least y'know, I am- at least I am putting them up on the uh, CWCipedia a few pages at a time as I go along. Even though I could not access the CWCipedia today, I'm sure it's just a server- server thing. I'll probably be able to access it tomorrow so I can update with the uh, videos I've got uploaded. At least I was able to get on there for one moment earlier this afternoon, and verify that like uh, yeah, uh, all the uh, quote-unquote merchandise is fake, do not buy it, there's no video game in process, and the Project Needlemouse is just a Sonic the Hedgehog game, nothing else. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Yeah, well I- I still think you need to make the comics a lot faster. Like come on, you promised me those drawings like, couple days ago and I still haven't even seen them! 
'''Chris''': Hm. 
'''Kacey''': Like, you don't have anything else to do. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, well, uh- hmm... okay, I tell you what, I'll, uh... get my- get the uh, three individual girl drawings and the one sex drawing I have uh, scanned in and I'll send them- and I'll send them to you later. But of course, you know I'm trusting them to you and that you promise not to share them with anybody yet. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, I'm not gonna share them, I just wanna see them. 
'''Chris''': Okay. Alright well I'll send them out to you later. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, you just needed d- okay, yeah, 'cause you need to speed things up here. Quick like the bunny. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Heh, poof! [Chuckles] Okay. [Pause] Uh, I guess with that and nothing else on my mind right now, um, I'll get- I'll scan those in and send those to you right now so, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow. [Kacey hangs up] Kacey? Kacey? Hello? [Pause] Kacey? Where'd you go? [Pause] Hm. Kacey? Okay, well, alright. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow and I'll have those sent out to you tonight. Okay, talk to you later, bye-bye. 
[Call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8fnzryzp5bvchdo mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 15]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Talk:2013

2012-01-23T00:35:55Z

Giantgroundsloth:

==why am important??==
Who cares that the DSM-V is coming out, unless the APA is reclassifying high-function autism as something else? If that is the case, we should make a note of it. [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 19:27, 20 January 2012 (PST)
*I really don't see why this is relevant to Chris, it's interesting, and I understand that they're redefining Asperger syndrome but unless Chris mentions it, it really doesn't belong here. It comes off as filler. Seriously, we've got a year, we don't need an entire page to 2013 yet. Hell, Chris might die this year or go to prison or something, we might not even need a 2013 page. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:48, 21 January 2012 (PST)
** Seriously though, this page is really unnecessary. The only two events listed are birthdays. Why should we not then create a page for 2014 (Chris turns 31, Barb turns 73) and for 2015 and for 2016 and so on ad infinitum? Why not just delete it? [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 16:35, 22 January 2012 (PST)

28 October 2011

2012-01-21T03:49:08Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Civil suit */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction.]]
On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]].

On that fateful Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m.<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos</ref>, [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its [[manajerks|manager]], [[Michael Snyder]]. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]] in November. A bit of a delay, but it turns out, he and Barb had been [[jerkop|arrested]] and jailed for various offenses (trespassing, assault, and hit & run). Now both have been charged with a Class 5 Felony, which implies "a '''term of imprisonment of not less than one year''' nor more than 10 years, and ... a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref>

Both Chris and Barb were bonded out on 29 October<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref>, with Chris's initial hearing being a week later than Barb's - possibly owing to the extra charge against him. It may also allow for additional information to be gathered about on his record of dealings with Michael Snyder and the GAMe PLACe, and also to consider any [[autism|medical grounds]] that may affect the outcome of any court proceedings against Chris. The Chandlers will be represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.

This is the first major event that has come to light since the death of [[Bob Chandler]] on 6 [[September 2011]].

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System]. At present we do not have a full account of what happened during the incident and under what circumstances the charges were brought against the pair. However, based on at least one previous incident in [[June 2010]], we can assume a rough outline of events.

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing
== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident.
The reason for the lawsuit and what damages are being sought is currently unknown besides that it is related to the 28 October event. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Card.PNG|thumb|Chris's only chance.]]

* On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the CWCki, plastering them on the front page as well as Michael's own article, with Chris presumably doing it as a response to the events at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the respective image descriptions, Chris claimed that Snyder molests children and taunted him for his [[obesity]].
{{-}}
== Photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
</gallery>

==Fan Art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:Guilty.png|A theoretical reaction to the judgment.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Talk:2013

2012-01-21T03:27:46Z

Giantgroundsloth: Created page with "==why am important??== Who cares that the DSM-V is coming out, unless the APA is reclassifying high-function autism as something else? If that is the case, we should make a note ..."

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker call

2011-12-14T17:37:32Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Proposed page 'infestation' */

== Proposed speedy deletion ==
To be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with this being here, but not for the reasons you think. While technically Virginia allows for recording calls with the consent of one party (i.e. the party that's recording), I think Rocky might be bothered by a private call being here. Unlike Chris, she most likely has an IQ greater than that of a brick and would be bothered by the invasion of her privacy and that sort of thing. Secondly, why do we have to have the entire conversation here? That's what irks me sometimes, people think we need to mirror and host everything connected with Chris. I don't think so, I think we should just cite the audio file and that's sufficient as opposed to having an entire article about the call with a full transcript. Thirdly, I think this would set a dangerous precedent, as I'd rather not see people harass people connected to Chris for content. These people, unlike Chris, probably do mind if a stranger calls them, talks about their acquaintance with Chris, however nebulous, and then posts their private call for the entire Internet to see.

I realize that this provides valuable information but I'd rather see this information obtained through other means, such as public records or that sort of thing.

If we are to keep it, I'd recommend wikifying the transcript and categorizing the call.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:40, 11 December 2011 (PST)

:Champ is good people and I agree with him. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:59, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Thirded, really. God damn. --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 07:13, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Nah fuck Rocky. She isn't some innocent person who got caught up in this Chris business like the Wallflower, she's been interfering with our work since day 1 and manipulating the Chandlers since time immemorial. IMO she deserves to be fucked with a lil' bit. --[[User:Thorg|Thorg]] 13:33, 12 December 2011 (PST)

** I felt the same way Champ, until I listened to the call and realized that Rocky isn't as "innocent" in this as she seems. I mean really. She tells this caller that she needs some ID or some consent from the lawyer before she talks...and then instead of hanging up like a good person would, she continues to <s>gab</s>talk about Chris anyway. I agree that this information would have been better collected another way...and that everyone who has dealings with Chris don't necessarily need to be trolled too to get information about Chris. I guess what I'm saying is this: This doesn't need it's own page, but I believe it should be noted in the Rocky Shoemaker article that there is audio of a call between a troll pretending to be a doctor and her and that she gave some information about the Chandler's living condition. And then a link to the audio file could be given. This whole transcript isn't necessary; is it really all that shocking that the Chandler house is a filthy, invested, mess? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:30, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*** The infestation had everything to do with the topic of meeting at Christian's house and wasn't "gabbing". -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 08:45, 11 December 2011 (PST)
**I agree with Champ. When push come to shove, Rocky got more resources and smarts than Chris. Having the contents of that call here might irks her. I agree with adding some snippets of the calls in a form of "Rocky said..."and let the whole audio as a reference out of the CWCki. Yes, no shit is too small but we need to think about any liability that can come from this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 09:16, 11 December 2011 (PST)

***No liability would come from it, we're documenting something that was obtained from someone else, so CWCKI can't get in trouble for hosting it, same as FOX news can't get in trouble for reporting on something, even if they obtained the information from someone that stole it, unless they told the person to steal it. But I feel that this should only be reference to in the Rocky article with a link to the call, people involved with Chris don't need to be troubled by trolls.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 12:21, 11 December 2011 (PST)

I honestly think that since, as [[Champthom]] pointed out in his post, that since Virginia is a one-party state, there are no legal repercussions to posting the full (or contents of) the transcript of the conversation online. As to the issue of whether or not the full transcript should be posted, I'm in favor of moving the transcript to a different article and setting aside this article for posting and bolding the relevant parts of the conversation and posting information about the consequences of this new information.--[[User:Osideguy92|Osideguy92]] 12:27, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Having the transcript here is important to have, but shouldn't be used as much. This definitely needs to have relevant information listed here, and wikifyed. As for Rocky realizing it's all on here, it's her own fault for gabbing with a troll. I don't think this can really be deleted, it does present some important info, I just think it needs to be cleaned up, and most of it's information posted where it needs to go. Basically, if you get rid of this article, where are you going to link the new info to? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 12:54, 11 December 2011 (PST)

**Having said that, I'm not sure what the qualifier for "Not supposed to be here yet" Means. I mean, if this was part of someone's trolling plan, then they should have had the sense not to make it publicly available. If someone ruined their own trolling plan because they leaked this stuff, again, that's their own fault, and I don't think the CwCki should have to delete an article to preserve trolling plans. Of course, if an admin or whoever feels it is important enough to delete, I'm sure that it will happen anyways. [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 12:57, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*** Not that it's relevant (as this guy already finished with what he was doing), but while the CWCki doesn't *have* to do anything, us being bitchy and saying "you fucked up so now we're going to ruin your trolling plans" would be counterproductive. Chronicling the information *right now* is less important than producing content.
:: "where are you going to link the new info to?" If this is asking what I think it's asking, not having content here for a while longer just means those analyses and links have to wait a few days. It's not really problematic. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 13:06, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*I mostly agree, except that while I as a person wouldn't bother trying to harass people that Know Chris for information, I don't see anyway to really prevent trolls from doing that. I suppose by removing this it gives a point that we wouldn't post information obtained from harassing people that know Chris. This would of course, require deleting all the prank calls that involve Barb and Bob. In the end, this is a conversation that does involve Chris and the Chandler Household, and thus it should be back. Now if this was different and say, a Troll trying and failing to talk to Rocky, then yes I would support deleting this. But in the end, the call did produce info about Chris, and it should be around on here. Perhaps Rocky will learn to not gab especially after she already told the Doctor she needed dox. [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 13:06, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:I've still not seen a compelling reason not to take this down for now - ya'll got a couple of hours or I'm taking it down. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:37, 11 December 2011 (PST)
::If Chris hasn't yet seen it, and learns of this because of it being on the CWCki, it might lead him to respond to deny/deflect the statements made about the house, Bob, etc. [[User:tugboatz|tugboatz]] 13:29, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:: I think it's important to keep this information available. Perhaps we don't need an entire page for it (especially because bringing Rocky's wrath upon us isn't wise, regardless of her actual abilities) but for those who don't visit the forums or /cwc/ this is still interesting Chris-related info. Maybe put a synopsis under a new header on Rocky's page, sans transcript and audio file? Then, if anybody desperately NEEDS To hear it, they can go dig it up elsewhere. Thoughts? -- [[User:AK27|AK27]] 14:31, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*I'm not agreeing with the whole "gabbing" defense as a means to keep this up. Fooling a little old church lady (who has likely been struggling with the same Chandler issues as many White Knights before her...promotion of hygiene, socialization, more hygiene) into thinking she's chatting with a legitimate doctor, (Easily done to an American when you add an English accent by the way. Just ask anyone who likes Hugh Grant movies.) and winding up finding out that a house full of garbage and old food has bugs in it may be noteworthy. That doesn't mean she's a gossip, nor does it necessarily need dedicated page. Just one Lurkers opinion. <3 --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 14:32, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Don't take this down. I listened to the call and I found it to have some interesting info. There's no liability, as far as I can tell. And having the transcript up somewhere easily accessible is useful. I have no life, so I have plenty of time to listen to calls. But some people don't always feel like sitting through calls and want to read transcripts. Also being able to search for snippets is useful. I'm taking off the deletion template. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:52, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Not to lawyer up, but one party consent gets really sticky when the second party is out of state or the conversation could be deemed "private" like Champ first mentioned. I gasped and cackled like any other heartless freak mind you, but this could very well be slightly mildly illegal sort of kind of. A little. --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 15:09, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:Published on the public domain. Whattheygonnado? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:20, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:Thing is, we have a lot of calls like this. We have lots of calls with the Chandlers and all sorts of people. Like prank calls and shit. They very well might be illegal. They're either all illegal or none of them are illegal. I'm not a lawyer. I kinda don't care right now because I don't think anyone is going to complain about people publishing prank calls on the internet. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 16:35, 11 December 2011 (PST)

* ''CWC Wiki, where no shit is too minor''...except when there's more than a manchild involved. Seriously, if we're supposed to document everything that happens in Christian's life, why shouldn't we keep the call? We've already got plenty of calls like this, and it's been clearly stated that there can't be any legal trouble. Of course, Rocky's privacy will be a little diminished, but not more than it already has been thanks to the forums and PVCC. As you can see in the call, she's already getting calls from trolls who are just trying too hard. I think the call should stay, if we take it down, why wouldn't we do the same with all other calls, and Rocky-related content? Also, I don't get why people get so much troll's remorse because of Rocky. Does nobody remember that she's the one who told Chris that he doesn't need therapy? Way to go. --[[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 03:21, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:You're not the first to drag up our slogan in to discussions recently. But here's the thing - it's actually a very good thing that we have discussions about new material like this. It's part of what makes a wiki good - people having different views, ideas and opinions which help to shape the content of the wiki. I made my post about wanting to bring forward the deletion in order to hasten the arguments of others so we didn't ponder for too long on the issue of deletion - at that point it seems some very good arguments had been made for deletion and not many against, and that means if it warranted deletion, it warranted a far quicker close to the discussion.
:Yes we have prank calls on the CWCki already, but that's more of a maintenance of status quo rather than a concerted effort to keep them here. Similar to the [[fail]] article, people can't make up their mind one way or another. I didn't want this article to be the same and the debate to stagnate. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:14, 12 December 2011 (PST)
::So, to make a brief resume: we got some new, important content about Christian in the form of a phone call like many others (other calls that the CWC Wiki still hosts or mirrors), but it'll be deleted because some people feel uneasy about having it here. I can't see the logic behind all this. I think that some people are just scared about this call bringing legal trouble to the CWC Wiki (it's still a perfectly legal and valid call), and fearing that Rocky's privacy will be violated (I still don't know how, since the call doesn't reveal any personal information about Rocky). By the way, I'd like to know which are those "very good arguments". Cheers. --[[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:19, 12 December 2011 (PST)
::Well it won't be deleted as we resolved not to delete it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:07, 12 December 2011 (PST)

== Sectioning off the call ==

Perhaps we should split up the transcript, i.e. like the father call, where some sections highlight what is going on in the call?

Thoughts anyone? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 15:16, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:That call is broken up because it's over 2 hours long. This one isn't even 20 minutes. This is something people can listen to easily in one sitting, so I don't think adding sections would be helpful. On the other hand, the only effect I can see it having is breaking the concentration of people who are reading while listening. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 15:26, 12 December 2011 (PST)

*Well I meant obviously it wouldn't have as many sections, I just meant the possibility of splitting some of it up. Is there some sort of guideline to when it's a good idea vs when it isn't? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 02:55, 13 December 2011 (PST)
::Sections in transcripts are more of a sometimes-necessary evil than anything else. If people aren't having trouble navigating the call as-is, there's no real advantage to breaking it apart. As far as I'm aware, nobody's complained about this call being hard to follow. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 04:13, 13 December 2011 (PST)

:::I had no problem following the call while reading over my gf's shoulder as she read through too. And usually that's harder to do than reading at your own pace. Also it didn't take long at all. I'd say it doesn't need sections. [[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 11:33, 13 December 2011 (PST)

::::What an amazing and incredibly valuable fact for the CWCki. The call won't be split up, I guess that's the end of it. --[[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 14:28, 13 December 2011 (PST)

==Proposed page 'infestation'==
Seems that an infestation is an important fact that may (if more details arise) warrant its own page. WOuld love to get some information on who is doing the fumigation and mayby cantact them afterwards to see if any more info could be had [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 09:32, 14 December 2011 (PST)
*there isn't really enough information for a whole page, I doubt, and the only other time I think that the subject of insects in Chris's house was addressed is [[Kacey Call 15]]. Not much to write about... [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 09:37, 14 December 2011 (PST)

Voicemail greeting

2011-12-14T17:17:28Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* 2 August 2009 */

[[Chris]]'s '''voicemail greeting''' is something which many [[trolls]] have experienced when attempting to call Chris. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of almost 3 years.

== Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting ==
=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Jay Z|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation-and at stake-at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, [[Troll]] trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naive|trollin' stupid]], you're [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY4q2yk3pgk| Listen here!]

=== [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] ===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.

===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!]

=== c. [[May 2011]] ===
'''Chris:''' [[Autism|Hello. Leave message. Goodbye]].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!]

=== 13 May 2011===
'''Chris:''' Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!]

=== [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, [[Chris and Reality|I screen my calls]], so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!]

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ko58be75hfxos53 Download here!]

=== [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!]

=== 15 July 2011===
'''Chris:''' Hello, you have reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

=== [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, [[Chris and health|I'm sick]]. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!]

=== 9 December 2011 ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!]

{{stub}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Father Call

2011-12-14T17:01:03Z

Giantgroundsloth:

[[Image:Matthew_Devoria.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Matthew Devoria.]]

On the fourth of [[November 2009|November, 2009]], [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''Matthew Devoria''' (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before going on to [[lie]] his ass off about any topic you care to mention.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[Obesity|rotund figure]], and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being confronted with the truth that he uses the [[trolls]] and his [[autism]] as a crutch, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris's attitude and immaturity greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.

==Summary==
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious sounding claims about his weight-lifting prowess. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on these claims, and instead hand the phone over to her father, Matthew.
* Matthew is fairly civil toward Chris to begin with, though it's immediately obvious that Matthew doesn't have much respect for him. Matthew begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a Pokemon gym master seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matthew asks if any hypothetical children of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic (or "'tard babies" to use Matthew's phrasing), and while Chris denies that they would be, Matthew checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris [[lie]]s during the call, and while Matthew goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous when Chris does it again.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named Crystal. Not only does Matthew consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and thinks it's more appropriate for a stripper.
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, Chris is questioned on why [[Liquid Chris]] (who Matthew will sing the praises of many times during the call) was impersonating him. Solid Chris's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with Sonichu. Needless to say, Matthew is not impressed by this at all.
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matthew brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers|Chris's little 9/11 video]], and says that he found it especially offensive, since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center that day. Chris's only response is to say the video was really [[Clyde Cash]]'s fault, because he was being mean to Chris.
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matthew tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, including having to pull up weeds, mow the lawn, move furniture, and bury his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matthew is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.
* Chris doesn't let the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working discourage him, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pity whining severely annoy Matthew, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing his road trip to Ohio in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey.
* Matthew accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions his tour of [[14 Branchland Court]] as proof that Chris is lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him, causing Matthew to sarcastically comment on his lack of maturity, only for Chris to miss the sarcasm and think Matthew is actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris tries to compare the effort of tidying his house with the effort Matthew spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matthew is ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matthew to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''... and then starts describing the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a vaguely correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.
* Matthew says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat, and Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Needless to say, Matthew calls him out on this obviously false claim, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his monthly tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matthew points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matthew off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be eighty-four per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by this, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American born and bred. Matthew points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.
* Matthew decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11. Matthew tells Chris that he must be [[naive]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the word "naive" and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his Elementary School principal and teachers. This is probably an attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matthew brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriately "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" to be a cast-iron rule, rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.

==Transcript==
===Matthew makes the scene===
[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh... I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading [[Card games|Card Game]] league a few years back...

'''Matthew:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Matthew:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting... but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.

'''Matthew:''' ...With her help?

'''Chris:''' ...And get a place of my own...

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Matthew:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know...I keep between myself...

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, if you can't s-s- If you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh...

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um...

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' ''[laughs]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend Kim, she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Matthew:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Matthew:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Matthew:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and [[chores]]===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake Internet women===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Matthew:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. I am a STRONG MAN. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

'''Matthew:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Matthew:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Matthew:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I... I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yep!]]

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...

===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. [[Fail|She didn't hear anything you just said.]]

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Matthew:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O... kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Matthew:''' And play... okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' [[Fail|She's gone again.]]

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah...let's say you just blew it, man. She was, she was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about, yes you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response, that's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel, I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about, you should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, REALLY turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, 50 pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, MAYBE.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like... a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly... as a friend... a true friend, a good friend...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I do know. Because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well... points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I... am an [[United_States_of_America|American]]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am STRONG]]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic...if you were patriotic you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't... do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I, at least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am, I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video, and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...[[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Matthew:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment?"

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making... mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Hambeast|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well... good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Matthew:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?! You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Matthew:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Y1N7JXQ3 mp3 of phonecall]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Mailbag 23

2011-12-14T16:49:29Z

Giantgroundsloth:

'''Mailbag 23''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 23 [[December 2009]]. Despite [[Chris]]'s recent habit of updating almost daily, he waited up to 28 [[December 2009]] to answer this [[mailbag]].

This mailbag marks the return of Chris's willingness to actually change what other people have written to suit his personal preferences, and what is perhaps the strongest comeback of it yet. Chris heavily altered [[Mailbag 23#In which Chris goes nuts|one letter]] to the point where it was virtually unrecognizable (not to mention unreadable). He kept a copy of the original letter in the rejected mailbag. Chris also lists several magic spells that he wishes he could perform, including "Hono" (a homo eradicator) and "Come to me, my Women" (a virginity eradicator).

==Answered==
==="All of my ear" is not inherently funny===
{{Email|From: Aldof Meyer (AMeyer1950@APA.org)

Hello, Christian. I enjoy [[Sonichu]] on my days off from work. However, as a professional psychologist, I have to say your attacks on [[Asperger's Syndrome]] are rather odd. Especially the Most Terrible Cut of Meat" argument. Dr. Hans Asperger's name was Austrian, and Dr. Asperger himself was a very kind and earnest man. If his name were, say, Eselbrötchen, then I could see your offense, but, the name is arbitrary. It could have been anyone's last name, even mine! It bothers me that if the syndrome were called, say, Jackson's Syndrome it would bother you less. If you won't change your views on the disease, then, please, leave the late Dr. Asperger out of it.

With respect, Aldor Meyer, Ph.D}}
{{EmailReply|And to prove the point of misinterpretation in your direction, "Aldof Meyer" sounds like "All Of My Ear"; it writes its own punchlines.}}

===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===
[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg|thumb|Scourge of the seas]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Monkey Island (series)|Guybrush Threepwood]] (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)

Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?

1. Did you ever fantasize about being a pirate?

2. What would you do if you were a pirate? What would your ship be called?

3. Imagine: you're in a vicious sword fight, and your deadly opponent shouts a painful insult: "You fight like a dairy farmer!" You obviously need to come up with a counter-insult to his insult! What would your counter-insult be?

4. You said you like to drink at parties, now and then. Would ye like to drink GROG, like a real pirate???

Fair winds to ye, matey, and make those blaggard [[trolls]] walk the plank!

Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate.}}
{{EmailReply|I fantasized being a pirate a bit, recently in the latest [[LittleBiGPlanet]] Content based on "Pirates of the Caribbean". My ship would be called "The [[CWC]] Route". I would say, "[[The Simpsons|Don't have a cow, man.]]" Probably. Thank you for your support.}}

===Chris the hero===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Fountainhead|Howard Roark]] (fountainhead3000@hotmail.com)

Hi Chris, I had a quick question about something you said in an earlier mailbag:

"As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already?"

Can you tell us more about your heroism or some crimes you've solved? The reason I'm asking is because I don't remember any times you've talked about being a hero or crime-fighting. It's nice that you're modest about that, but I'm sure your fans would love to hear about your adventures!

Sincerely,

Howard Roark}}
{{EmailReply|I would have to rethink of those stories and write them up for typing later. When I said that, I was referring originally to the adventures within the [[Comic]] Pages.}}

===PETA sucks===
{{Email|From: Sarah Mclovin <hedgeh0gluvin@live.com>
Dear CWC,

I am a big fan of your work and have been following you and your brave struggle with [[autism]] and trolls for awhile. 
Being such a big inspiration to the autistic community I wanted to know if you had heard the news that scientists have found the cause of autism.

http://www.peta.org/feat_autism.asp

As that article clearly states a direct link has been found between dairy milk and autism. It has also been shown that removal of milk from the diet of autistic children improved symptoms. I was wondering what you think of this new discovery? I for one am excited because now that we have isolated the cause of autism we can begin working on a cure.}}
{{EmailReply|The link is only a theory, and they state that they have NO Concrete Evidence to prove it fact. I feel that it is a bunch of Bologna.}}

===Family Guy Comic===
{{Email|From: [[Pokémon|garyoak]]591@gmail.com
Hey Chris! I am a fan of your Sonichu comics! They really make my day when I fell my heart-level is down. Anyways, I read the post you wrote about a [[Family Guy]] episode featuring you, Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]. It would be awesome if they did make it real and I hope they will! But I was wondering if you could make that episode into a comic so I, as well as your entire fanbase, can see how it would look like. Could you please do that? That would be awesome!
I wish you the best!
Your fan,
Toomiss Sasa}}
{{EmailReply|I have thought about that, and it will be done soon enough.}}

===High functioning murderers===
[[Image:DylanAndErick.JPG|thumb|Dudes of all teenages.]]
{{Email|From: redboomer05@gmail.com
Hello, Christian.

My name is Maria and I am a teacher at the Cantrona County High School in New Mexico. I'm writing you because two of our students are in the hospital after a terrible car accident. They love your comic book and are always talking about Sonichu. When you put up a new page, they print it out and bring it to class for everyone to share. Their names are [[Wikipedia:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Dylan and Erick]], they're both high-functioning autistic children. I'm writing this in hopes that you'll put a little "shout-out" to them in your next comic. Maybe a little sketch with a drawing of them and Sonichu giving his support? I would love to bring that page to them.

I enclosed a picture of them in case you want to help with this. I know you're a family-man and you understand how much this could mean to them. Imagine if one of the sonic artists drew you a picture when you were a kid, that would be much how they feel!

Thank you in advance,
Maria Redboomer}}
{{EmailReply|I have recently gave a shout-out to them both in a [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|video]] on my [[YouTube]]. I hope they are doing better. Thank you for letting me know so I can show my support for their benefit. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Sonichu and Rosechu watch Family Guy for their children's benefit===
{{Email|From: hurdygurdy@doglover.com
Dear Chris,

As a mother I am appalled that Sonichu lets his children watch Family Guy. Family Guy regularly contains swearing, references to drugs, frequent violence and smutty humour. It is not suitable for any child under the age of 15. How can Sonichu justify letting children under the age of 5 watch this show?

The fact that one of the children repeats a rude, insulting joke about the Virgin Mary having sex shows that it's a bad influence on them. Children should not be saying those sorts of things, especially when they are too young to understand them.

It doesn't matter that Sonichu and Rosechu watch the show with them. When a crass joke is made, is it Sonichu or Rosechu who explain what [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|incest]], [[Pedofork|pedophilia]] or [[Mass Debating|masturbation]] are

Sonichu and Rosechu are bad parents and their children must be taken into care immeadiately.}}
{{EmailReply|You are taking this out of proportion. Letting children watch the show WITH Parental Supervision; the PARENTS are responsible to point out the differences between comedy, parody, fact, fiction, and how they feel about each topic as well as what is currently happening with that. Sonichu and Rosechu HAVE BEEN DOING ALL of that, and it is for the children's benefit.}}

===Chris on fornication===
{{Email|From: Daniel Silva <svenporks@yahoo.com>
G'day Chris, Dan here.

My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex. She is a Catholic and I am a [[Methodist]]. However, she quotes numerous passage in the bible that specifically forbid ANY sort of sexual activity before marriage (including oral, anal). Some she quotes are 1 Corinthians 7:2, 10:8, Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, and many more. Even 2 Corinthians 12:21 states "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged." As a devout Christian, she has convinced me that ANY sexual activity before marriage is against God's will. However, I still want her, so I need a second opinion. Is it okay to have sex before marriage? And if it is, what does God think about it?}}
{{EmailReply|[[God and Jesus]] wants us to live our lives where we each feel comfortable, happy and at peace as we individually see fit without regret. I feel sex before marriage is good; it establishes that link in the relationship which establishes that this mate makes me feel most comfortable, happy and satisfied in sexual intercourse.

And, NOT to promote such, but most people would have done it with multiple partners beforehand anyway, and those people have it good, because they have the benefit of understanding and appreciating good sexual intercourse from the bad.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===[[Attraction location]]s===
{{Email|From: cjnorthlondon@yahoo.co.uk
Hi Chris

I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.

I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. [[Wikipedia:How Soon is Now?|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does]]. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. [[Wikipedia:This Charming Man|Will nature make a man of me yet?]]

As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?

[[Wikipedia:Morrissey|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]}}
{{EmailReply|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris honestly thinks he's in contact with Seth MacFarlane===
{{Email|From: Michael Boharsik <mboharsik@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

My name is Michael and I have been following your video blogs for some months now and I must say that I am impressed by your artistic abilities. Have you tried contacting Seth MacFarlane (which is how you spell his named) directly about cooperating on an animation project? I'd love to see some CWC and Sonichu action in a/many Family Guy episode(s). Please keep us updated on any developments in this matter.

God bless you and have mercy}}
{{EmailReply|Communications have been started, and developments will be posted on the [[Cwcipedia]] as they come up.}}

===Basic language===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Mega Man (original series)|Thomas Light]] <robotmaster18@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

I have enjoyed your comics since the very beginning, Mr. Chandler, and I have to say that I've received endless entertainment from them and from everything related to Sonichu and its creator. I have been reading, and quite enjoying, your Christmas Special that is [[issue 11]], but I have a question though. How come Sonichu and Rosechu's Sonee and Rosey children speak in nearly fluent english, when the [[Chaotic Combo]] only could speak their names, like normal [[pokemon]]. Why is that? I mean the Chaotic Combo hatched from eggs, just like [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie, Cera, and Christine]]?}}
{{EmailReply|Robbie, Cera and Christine got to learn to speak fluently from their Parents who Speak it well too. After hatching, those three Started out only saying "[[Sonee]]" and "[[Rosey]]"; relatively, most of the Chaotic Combo members did not have English-Speaking guardians, so they could ONLY learn to speak English AFTER growing up to be Sonichus and Rosechus. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris goes nuts===
''Chris altered this letter a great deal, then placed an unaltered copy in the rejected mailbag. His additions have been marked with italics.''

{{Email|From: thespekkio@hotmail.com

Dear Mr. Chandler,

I'm not really a fan, but recently I've become very familiar with your work. You see, I am a [[homos]]sexual.
For months I have been trying to come out of the closet, but my father is really conservative, and not wanting to disappoint him rendered me depressed.
Talking to my therapist, she said you too strugled with your sexuality for a long time, '''''AND SHE IS IN ERROR''''' in
'''''[[Ruckersville]]''''' [[Virginia]]. If you could answer me this questions, it would mean a lot to me:

1-''Why are'' you ''Straight''? '''''BECAUSE IT IS NATURAL TO ME AS A STRAIGHT PERSON.''''' 
2-How did it feel? '''''IT FEELS RIGHT AND TERRIFIC BEING STRAIGHT.''''' 
3-Did your father ''appreciate'' you ''being straight''? '''''YES, AND SO DOES MY MOTHER AND ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.''''' 
4-And how about your mother? '''''SEE THE LAST QUESTION'S ANSWER.'''''

Thank you Mr. Chandler.
Ray Garrity

P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole ''straight'' subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way
you portray the ''True-Love-Filled marriage'' is pure genius. I hope in the end he ''never gets divorced''.

P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for ''killing the cause''. Soon we are going to be able to ''become Striaght, Find Our Women, get married, and NOT go to Hell''!}}
{{EmailReply|'''I AM STRAIGHT.''' I was NEVER a Homosexual; THOSE ARE ALL FALSE RUMORS FROM THE GOD DAMN TROLLS AND SUCH DAMN MISLABELING PEOPLE. The ONLY closet I came out was the '''Autistic Closet'''. SHUT THE F*** UP!!! ALL OF MY SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS ARE STRAIGHT!!! I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR COMMENTS OF MISLABELINGS!!!

AND the Ads that tell you otherwise that have been plauging the Cwcipedia lately ARE NOT CANNON TO ME OR MY WORKS WHATSOEVER.

And TELL YOUR THERAPIST that SHE IS IN ERROR ABOUT ME; SHE IS SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)

The uncorrected version of his letter is in the '''Rejected Mailbag'''.}}

===It is likely Chris has forgotten that Mr. Bobson wants him to upload his report cards===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, the longer you sit on this, the more ground the trolls gain.

This is the kind of problem that gets worse if you ignore it.

Do you want Sonichu to be forever known as "that comic made by that egotistical [[retard]]", as some of the trolls are saying?

I don't see why, as the way to stop it is as simple as uploading scans of a few papers. That way all of them will be discredited. Don't you want the trolling to be permanently weakened?

Some fans are already being mocked in real life because of the trolls. You've got to stop this issue now or else the fans will begin to think the trolls are right about you as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not ignoring it; I am doing what I can against the Trolls.}}

===More falsehood===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>
Out of curiosity, when do you plan to answer the letters in "Let Me Get Back To You On That"?

I mean, you reply to the letters in the Rejected Mailbag, so why not?}}
{{EmailReply|Those letters will be replied to soon.}}

===Chris and the dark arts===
[[Image:ComeToMeSpell.jpg|thumb|right|Even if he was magical he still wouldn't be able to get any [[China|china]].]]
{{Email|From: nasugrave@mail.com
Dear Mr. Chandler,

As a long time reader of Sonichu, I have a question I would like to ask. If you had the ability to use magic, what would your top 5 spells be and what would be their names? When you answer it, I would love it if you did it in this format 1), 2), 3), etc. with 1 being the weakest. Also, what spell would you use to counter other spells? Thank you for reading this!

Your friend
- [[Wikipedia: Puyo Puyo|Nasu Grave]]!}}
{{EmailReply|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on bisexuals===
{{Email|From: metricinchworm69@aim.com
Firstly, I'd like to wish you a merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler. Secondly, I'd like some advice. I am a guy, and I hang out with my best friend, who is also a guy and very religious, pretty frequently. A few days ago, we got into an argument over gay rights. I believed that people should have the freedom to pick who they want to be with and shouldn't have anyone else tell them otherwise, he said that homosexuality is a sin, and that it's satan's way of tempting people. At that point, I told him that he shouldn't be condemning something he doesn't understand. I was wrong. He confessed to me that he was attracted to guys AND girls. He kept it a huge secret, and he believes that it's just the devil tempting him. That's why he hates gays so much, because he's one, too, and he's not comfortable with it. What should I do? Should I hang out with him less? Should I tell him that God made him that way and that he should embrace it? He's never been very successful with girls, so I just don't know what to do... }}
{{EmailReply|You, sir, should ACCEPT HIM for his choices and decisions. I agree with him TO THE FULLEST. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TOWARDS the damn homosexual lifestyle anymore. You may continue being his friend, BUT NOTHING FURTHER.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris endorses concentration camps===
{{Email|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>
Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.
I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[Wikipedia:Arbeit macht frei|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.

Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}
{{EmailReply|Straight Camps to reprogram their minds are encouraged; BUT forcing them into slave labor is not only Wrong, but Illegal.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris goes nuts UNCUT===
{{Email|From: thespekkio@hotmail.com
Dear Mr. Chandler,

I'm not really a fan, but recently I've become very familiar with your work. You see, I am a homossexual.
For months I have been trying to come out of the closet, but my father is really conservative, and not wanting to disappoint him rendered me depressed. 
Talking to my therapist, she said you too strugled with your sexuality for a long time, but you managed to come out of your closet (even being Autistic!) in
Redneck Virginia. If you could answer me this questions, it would mean a lot to me:

1-When did you realised you were a homosexual? 
2-How did it feel? 
3-Did your father took it well when you came out of the closet? 
4-And how about your mother?

Thank you Mr. Chandler.
Ray Garrity

P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way
=you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up
with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects. 
P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}
{{EmailReply|'''I AM STRAIGHT.''' I was NEVER a Homosexual; THOSE ARE ALL FALSE RUMORS FROM THE GOD DAMN TROLLS AND SUCH DAMN MISLABELING PEOPLE. The ONLY closet I came out was the '''Autistic Closet'''. SHUT THE F*** UP!!! ALL OF MY SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS ARE STRAIGHT!!! I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR COMMENTS OF MISLABELINGS!!!

AND the Ads that tell you otherwise that have been plauging the Cwcipedia lately ARE NOT CANNON TO ME OR MY WORKS WHATSOEVER.

And TELL YOUR THERAPIST that SHE IS IN ERROR ABOUT ME; SHE IS SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:30, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the sociopath===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

How are you dealing with the recent heavy snowfall? Since you have many symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder (which you can read all about on [[Wikipedia]]) like lack of empathy and remorse, lack of any realistic future goals, criminal behavior (like stealing your parents credit cards to buy [[video games]]), an inability to keep jobs, an inability to keep friends and maintain relationships, Narcissism, your persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social rules, obligations, and norms, and cruelty to animals (remember that snake you intentionally ran over this summer?) I hope you don't chop up your family in a fit of rage or anything.

You shouldn't hold your cat [[20 December 2009|like that]] either, she doesn't sound like she wants to be picked up.

Oh, and why are you advising people to date women that remind them of their moms? That's pretty sick.

Happy Holidays,

Sean August Watley}}

{{Mailbag}}

User:Giantgroundsloth

2011-12-13T15:18:33Z

Giantgroundsloth: lol drunk-ass

Did you know that you can start playing Filigree and Shadow by This Mortal Coil from any point and it will sync up with the Chris-Chan Sex Tape? I just tried it. Several times. Hilarity ensued.
*Truly this is a modern day Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon

Also, I'ma transcribe some shit, 'cause I'm awesome.

{{Collapsible|FUCK YEAH USERBOXES!|
{{JERK}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Observer}}
{{Scampers}}
{{JackThaddeus}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{Transcriber}}
}}

User:Giantgroundsloth

2011-12-13T04:47:59Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Did you know that you can start playing Filigree and Shadow by This Mortal Coil from any point and it will sync up with the Chris-Chan Sex Tape? I just tried it. Several times. Hilarity ensued.
*Truly this is a modern day Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon

Apparently, it'll also sync up with Stridulum II by Zola Jesus in the same manner. Incidentally, is it disturbing that I think that the worst part of that video is the fact that Chris fucks with socks on? I would imagine that it is.

Also, I'ma transcribe some shit, 'cause I'm awesome.

{{Collapsible|FUCK YEAH USERBOXES!|
{{JERK}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Observer}}
{{Scampers}}
{{JackThaddeus}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{Transcriber}}
}}

White knight

2011-12-08T15:06:18Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* White Knights on YouTube */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealty obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

User talk:Giantgroundsloth

2011-12-08T14:54:21Z

Giantgroundsloth:

White knight

2011-12-07T03:10:07Z

Giantgroundsloth: Figured I'd go ahead and moved some of the Svenka information here. Hope I'm not out of line.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Bob and Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's parents have been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that his parents should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so his parents can enjoy the last few years of their lives in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, hottiee96, she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealty obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Template:Video of the now

2011-12-06T04:30:14Z

Giantgroundsloth: Michael Snyder was apparently colluding with the Greene County School Board and several vampires

<center>{{#ev:youtube|brgA5p1RD3U}}</center>
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Sonichu 10

2011-11-24T01:01:05Z

Giantgroundsloth: /* Christian Lies, Simonla Dies */

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = Issue 10 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time ''Sonichu'' #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ77AMiIG7Q&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=58 ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so he took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, '''and then fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will turn Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms (in a scene [[Chris and art#Traced images from the Sonichu Comic|heavily traced]] from a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' comic) until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven year old episode of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would [[Chris and Remorse|justify]] the [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|needless murder]] of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planting a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until at last [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his [[Pickle|crotch]]), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why, even noting that ''"his amends have been made"'' for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursng him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechu's captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then [[TrollBusters|Calvin and Dee^2]] would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 21 - Director's Amenities
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</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bxbbbf1b042nwrb Download .rar of Sonichu #10]
 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Template:DYK

2011-11-22T08:49:56Z

Giantgroundsloth:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
|11=
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wanted you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
|12=
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [[Wikipedia:Apple_core|children's game]]?
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
|13=
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
|14=
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
*...that [[Jerkief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
|15=
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|16=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
|17=
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris is stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
|18=
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
|19=
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
|21=
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's [[fail]] is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
|21=
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] kept four [[Rosechu]]s imprisoned in his basement?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|over one billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10_September_2009|trolling stupid]]"?
}}

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Kacey Call 14

2011-11-17T03:06:40Z

Giantgroundsloth:

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc9eleven.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts rambling about stress and phone calls and doctors. Hard to make out anything he's saying.
*Kim had to explain what a metabolism was to Chris. [[Kacey]] is snarky about Chris not knowing what it meant, and said that he's not ready for the information because it's too high level for him.
*Kacey is explaining what different words mean, like sodium and calcium. Chris seems generally interested in learning more about this.
*Chris claims that because he is on cholesterol medication, that means that he has good cholesterol.
*Kacey says that she needs to start a diet, so Chris does too.
*Chris drove around his neighborhood to see how big it was, due to this he claims that he walked almost two miles. Chris doesn't know what jogging is.
*Kacey talks to Chris for a long time about oatmeal and how it's not healthy due to sugar.
*Chris: "We only have a total of four cars."
*Chris's [[mom]] refuses to sell her car, despite the fact that she doesn't even drive it anymore, and they only use Chris's [[car]] or his [[dad]]'s car. He adds that she's been hoarding since she quit her job.
*Kacey asks Chris if he's ever thought about giving up soda. "I can't go cold turkey on it" -Chris
*Chris is talking about Red Skelton.
*Chris was looking to buy some work out DVDs or a treadmill so he too can join the thousands of rednecks who don't use the treadmill in their house.
*Chris is thinking about buying Carmen Electra's workout striptease DVD.
*Chris is thinking about buying a guitar but he said he'd have to save money for it. Kim suggested it.
*Chris mentioned that he's working on his own [[audiobooks]].
*Kacey nags Chris to scan in his recent [[video game]] receipts and pictures of his [[PSN]] account to prove he's not buying any more [[games]].

==Part 1==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 14 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9N-o61EZSto}}
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 13]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, it's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' [''voice instantly becomes much higher pitched''] Hi, Kace! You got out- You got out- You got home early?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I did. Actually I did we were really slow, so I got to get out early.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's good. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, just a little tired I kinda rushed through my ending (?) work.
 '''Chris:''' Aw. Okay. Well I'm okay, I had- I had a better days, you know. Little bit- little bit more peaceful, uh, I uh, skimmed through my email, but it's not like I really checked my email, um…
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhm?
 '''Chris:''' [''talking really quickly and stuttering''] I mean- I mean, you know I kinda asked you and Kim- if you know- concerned about like, you know- concerned about- concerned about, you know… Uh, like you know I blanked out and was really distant, you know- like you know- It was- It was just normal stress. But, you know I- I replied and uh, told her to know that my appreciation for her concern but it, you know, was just normal stress and it stress just me to blank out and all that. Yeah, I'm going to talk my doc- I'm going to talk to my doctor about uh… You know my stress and uh, all that you know, all that she between you, me, she, we three talked about it.
 '''Kacey:''' [''probably understood very little''] Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, actually I also uh just remember uh… Kim told me a little bit about- th- about the metabolism and uh, what that was. And, uh, you know, she just I talked you know maybe you could inform me more about it?
 '''Kacey:''' You- You didn't know what a metabolism was?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, not really until I said but then she described it in a nutshell as like uh, the uh, speed o- the speed of digestion.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, I mean I guess that's good for layman's tremens, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmkay. What else do you know about it?
 '''Kacey:''' [''slightly over Chris's question''] It's an extremely complicated process that goes down to the cellular level and I'm not sure you're ready for that.
 '''Chris:''' It's okay. So… Tell me more about it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay, just what you need to know is metabolism is basically just what she told you. It's how fast your body takes in things, like glucose and fats and all sorts of chemicals and uses them up or stores them. If you have a fast metabolism you're going to use it al- a lot closer- or a lot sooner, sorry.
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I bet you don't even know what glucose is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, glucose is a type of fat.
 '''Kacey:''' No, uh glucose is what sugar breaks down into.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose tissue is fat.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, what kind of tissue is fat?
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose.
 '''Chris:''' Adipose?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Adipose. It- It means fat.
 '''Chris:''' Huh… [''Kacey talks over him''] Adipose is fat.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you know like, break down, like, sodium. Uh, do you know what sodium is?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, sodium's like salt.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, at least you know what that is.
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, cause things like calcium and potassium and sodium are extremely important to how your cells work.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Cap- Calcium and potassium and sodium. Yeah, I've heard that uh, yeah, one needs to have a good little bit of potassium and fortunately there is potassium in bananas and peanuts.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you don't want too much of neither sodium or, um potassium, because then your homeostasis will be put off. Do you know what homeostasis is?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah that's a new one on me. [''pronouncing it incorrectly''] Homeostasius.
 '''Kacey:''' Homeostasis. It means the balance your body is in for th- to be working at optimal levels.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. The balance for my body to be working at optimal levels. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said it's huge 'cause then you have to get into positive feedback and negative feedback, you have to get into sol- uh, cellular levels and it's just… It- it- it's a lot.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It does sound like a lot. [''long pause''] So please continue.
 '''Kacey:''' Uhh, well what do you want to know about? Ask some questions, cause I don't know what wa- wo- would be too deep. I mean what do you want to know about metabolism?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... okay well yeah, I understand that th- sleep slows metabolism and that uh, it's a bad idea to eat before you go to asleep. Because uh, then it just, th- then the sweetness sw- the uh, digestion get slows down and then that's uh, one way the body and one wa- and one wa- one way that fat builds up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well technically um, you actually burn a lot of calories when you're sleeping. But yeah if you eat just before then umm, basically it depends on when you're eating. um, Because that's going to get your metabolism, no you probably shouldn't when you're not active. But the thing is that's also for people who usually eat only three times a day, if you eat five to six little meals and two snacks today you're pretty much ok. Because then your body's constantly eating- like if you only eat once a day which is really bad, your body goes into starvation mode even though your not starving yourself and it holds onto everything it can, especially fat.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, mmkay. yeah, well fortunately I like uhh, I eat- som- yeah, I like eat two or three meals in a day. [''pause''] Or uhh, like you know maybe, or like, you know maybe two uhh, or maybe two and uh, a small one or yeah like maybe a- maybe one [[McDonald's|big meal]] and two little ones, something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it also depends on the portions you eat, like if you were eating multiple portions and a meal, you're not helping yourself at all, you're actually hurting your metabolism.
 '''Chris:''' yeah, I mostly eat- I mostly eat a single portion.
 '''Kacey:''' well, I think we already discussed that you don't really know what portion sizes are. Like okay,okay like, umm, a, [thinks] what do you usually get when you go to McDonalds? or BurgerKing? anywhere, what sandwich do you usually get?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well lately I've been ahh, lately I've been eating ahh, the ahh, "size sar" [''salad?''] when I been going to McDonalds or BurgerKing.
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] Okay, woah woah okay, you use to get grilled chicken sandwiches right?
 '''Chris:''' Um, yeah I did get a grilled chicken sandwich ['''Kacey:''' okay.] or sometimes, or some- or sometimes I'll have like a double cheese burger.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well lets go though the double cheese burger, how many servings of bread and meat do you think that is?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... [thinks] yeah, it would be stupid of me to say, one of each right? [chuckles]
 '''Kacey:''' [humorous tone] It would be ''amazingly'' stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I dunno maybe probably like, I dunno like, two or three?
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah, it's like two and a half for bread and if you have, let's say each patty is... we'll go ahead and say nine ounces each that is, ['''chris:''' is that how much?] that's almost six servings of meat right there.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, six servings are nine ounces?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, cuase it's anywhere from three to four ounces. So think about that, you're eating all the meat you should eat, in one burger.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' And it's not even lean.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I know it's scary right?
 '''Chris:''' No! No, it n- it's not scary, just surprising.
 '''Kacey:''' [''typing''] Well I mean, you can go to your doctor and get tests for your metabolism to see where it is.
 '''Chris:''' [''stutters as he lies''] Yeah I, yeah I'll, yeah, I think it's okay but yeah I'll check with my doctor next time, sure they can- I'm sure that's, that's, that's in the woodwork [''pronounced "budwork"'']. [''long pause''] Well at least my cholesterol is ok.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs''] well how do I know that? your on cholesterol um, medicine! I mean that's not good! That's not good at all! that means it not ok! [''chuckles''] cause even if it is helping out with your Homeostasis, that means you can't do it on your own.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah well, yeah, like I said before-
 '''Kacey:''' I- I mean it's my opinion that your metabolism is probably pretty bad right now, I mean mine is too! So I mean you should probably get it looked into.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay. Yeah, after talking about it right now yeah, I'll definitely get my metabolism checked out. [''long pause''] yeah I'll, yeah I'll talk to my doctor after I see him in November.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should probably get that done now, I mean this is important you shouldn't wait till November.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' Like me, in about a week, I'm getting all these test done you know, so I can see what I can improve my metabolism right, and I'm going on a diet plan and everything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well you see the thing is you know, um, my family has imformed me like you know, if I schedule an appointment with my doctor it has to be like you know, ahh, I dunno, like an aliment or something because you know, our insur- our insurance.
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly interrupts''] Chris this is an aliment! this is extremely an aliment! obesity is counted as a disease! I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, or I don't like fat people or anything, but this is important! Don't you care about your health? and plus you're on Medicaid!
 '''Chris:''' Um yeah, yeah okay, well, yeah, well I'll check with my family about that, and uhh, I'll see if I can't get an appointment to get my metabolism checked out.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, do you really need your family to tell you if it's okay for you to care about your body?
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly angry tone''] Uhh, no I do not need my family to tell me if it's ok to worry about my body or not. But I uhh, I just have to make sure that like, you know, insurance would cover an metabolism check up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well your family's not going to know that, you're going to have to call the insurance company or your going to have to call the doctor, and even if you don't get your metabolism checked, it's a good idea to go to your doctor and have an appointment and say "look, I really think I'm unhealthy, I want to get healthy again" and you should do that first. Because he's going to tell you whether he wants to check your metabolism or not, you may not even have to,['''Chris:''' Hmm.] your doctor would probably be thrilled.
 '''Chris:''' [''almost humoring tone''] M'kay yeah, [''pause''] yeah sounds good [''pause''] yeah well I get- yeah, I get uhh, I wanna get healthy yeah, uhmm hmm, what do you mean whe-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] Well you need to be serious about this and vigilant.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean how healthy do you think you are right now?
 '''Chris:''' How well do I think I am right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, how healthy do you think you are right now?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, how ''healthy'' do I think I am right now? umm, yeah I can't really say for certain, but I mean I feel okay. Uhh, but at least I'm exercising more and uh, I think my, I think my belly went in a little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it's not going to happen that quickly um, unless you're killing yourself, but anyway, or taking steroids, but umm, so did you exercise today? how long did you jog?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah I power walked-
 '''Kacey:''' cause you said you were going to jog more right?
 '''Chris:''' yeah I'm getting into the, I'm getting to the jogging I just haven't gotten to the uhh, I walked, I walked, I uhh, I walked my almost two miles, around the neighborhood I'm not sure, it's almost, it's about two miles, the route I take you know, around my neighborhood. Including my heartbeat-
 '''Kacey:''' Well how do you know it's two miles? ['''chris:''' Yeah I previously-][''interrupts''] did you have a- uhm?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I previously measured it with my car.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know how you would measure with your car. Maybe you should get uh, one of those step monitors, that would help, most phones actually have them on there, umm or they have speed watches.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah, my phone is a Motorola W315 so I'm pretty, and plus, aside- and plus, I don't see it on there, so I'm pretty sure its not on there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it'll be an application or something, a lot of phones do. But either way you gotta start jogging, walking's not going to help you, I told you, you know, it's NOT going to help you at all, and if you can't even jog, then you're seriously out of shape.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm, yeah, well I mean I could jog if I knew the running speed that jogging- if I knew the appropriate speed that ''is'', I mean I know it's somewhere between walking and running.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's, you have to get your heart rate up, you have to go online. The are calculators that you can use that will check what your heart rate needs to be for your weight and your height, and then what-

==Part 2==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 14 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|4W3Mxf9VhA0}}
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 15]]
}} </Center>

 '''Kacey:''' -do is you, you take your two fingers err, your umm, your pointer finger and your, the two ones by your thumb and you put them on your pulse in your neck and you count the beats per-minute and that's your heart rate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, I've learned that before yeah, the uhh measuring heart rate, before you called.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you definitely, definitely, need to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Okay. [''longer pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' So anything else on your mind? you know like both metabolism or any science stuff?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, I think it's pretty much, I think it's pretty much it for me there, on that. Arrum, okay let me tell you about my day a little bit umm, yeah I had my oat, I had my oatmeal as usual at first, and then I, and then I went out with my father you know just to keep him company. uhh, he c-
 '''Kacey:''' Um, real quick what type of oatmeal do you have?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah currently it's the food-loin brand oatmeal.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean is it flavored? or is it instant? or is it the actual oats?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, I would say it's uhh, flavored instant.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know how much sugar's in there right? I mean if you're gonna eat oatmeal you may as well eat real oatmeal or like some sort of granola. Cause that stuff can be just as bad, especially in the mornings.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm okay well, if that's the case then, okay well how much sugar should be in the uhh, oatmeal that I shouldn't eat, over eat on or if ca-
 '''Kacey:''' The shouldn't be any sugar in it, it's oatmeal! I mean if you want to add a little bit of brown sugar cinnamon, that would be good, but that's better than white sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah okay, the brown sugar is better then white sugar, hang on, I'm going to go check the oatmeal to see if there's any sugar in it.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah definitely!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah hang on a second here, [''music in the background''] hmm let's see errm... oh, okay yeah the, okay yeah, the is, does seem to be sugar in this oatmeal.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I bet it's way over eight grams isn't it? and I bet you eat more than one serving.
 '''Chris:''' err no, I eat like one packet umm, let me have a check here umm... yeah I'm looking at the nutrition facts oh, here we are, it's not like uhh, about an of average eleven grams, between the four flavors.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you want to get down to at minimum about four grams, and even that's pushing it. Just you shou- what you should do is if you have those nutritional labels you should add up the percentages every day umm, to see umm, if you're going over a hundred percent of course. Plus if you want to lose wight your going to have to gradually decrease your calorie intake.
 '''Chris:''' [''door can be heard''] Yeah, I think I'm working on that you know, uhh, I'm ma, I'm making more healthy choices, you know, I'm eating, I'm eating more fruits and vegetables.
 '''Kacey:''' Well like I said remember, some fruits and vegetables can be bad for you. Depending on how your metabolism and how you have to lose weight, like with my diet, for the first month I can't have fruits vegetables or anything with carbs. Because these to many carbs in fruits and vegetables, like apples, you wouldn't think it, there in there.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, there's carbs in apples?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah in the skin, it's got fiber.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, and they always say a doctor a day, a apple a day is good for you and keeps the doctor away.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, I mean it's good in moderation, but when you're starting off, you really need to shock your body so it starts using other fuels and in that way at least you can catch up and go to normal [''pause''] it's not good to stay on it for ever mind you, but ['''chris:''' hmm-hmm] you should really talk to your doctor about this. But umm, go ahead and tell me about your day.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah okay, so anyway I went out with my father with uhh, he went, he went out car battery shopping. Cause we need to get our cars inspected in uhh, next month. Including the uhh, incl, inc, you know we have twelve, four cars and uhh, one of them is a BMW it's pretty much suffering the same fate as the Jaguar we use to have, that was surposed to be my [[Barb|mother's]] car but [[obesity|she's not finding herself driving as much these days]]. So, yeah so, it's like you know, it was pretty much, pretty much, when I was shopping for an inexpensive battery for that car, for that BMW, and then I-
 '''Kacey:''' So basically she just not using it so the battery keeps dying?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah that sucks, you have to use cars. I mean if you're not using it why don't you guys sell it? if she obviously doesn't needs [''sounds like "eat"''] it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah Yeah, my father's been [''complaining?''] that as well, Its' like my mom, my mom does not want to do that. I mean it's her car and I-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I mean it's sucking up, it's sucking up insurance and it's a BMW, if she's not going to use it I mean, shit or get off the pot.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, w- wait what was, what was that expression you just used?
 '''Kacey:''' Shit or get off the pot, it's pretty vulgar but it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' Shit or get off the pot?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, never heard that expression before.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah it's an old one.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean besides she might want to sell it now before it gets to, to old. I mean cause then you going to get like what? three hundred dollars for it? and I mean, you know, it's not like it's a Camaro or a trans am or anything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well it is a stick shift model.
 '''Kacey:''' See a lot of people don't want stick shifts unless there collectors and there going to want them now. Because you know, people are just lazy about stick shifts nowadays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, my father knows that you know, it can be sold for like ten thousand dollars, and he would like to sell it. But you know, the cars under my moms name, under my moms name its sorta like you know, we cant do anything without her consent on that thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, if she's not going to use it, she's not going to use it. I mean that's, I mean can she even drive? does she drive?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yes sometimes but when she drives it's mostly you know, either my car or Dad's car or the [[obesity|van]].
 '''Kacey:''' She doesn't even want to use her car, why doesn't she sell it? That, that's not good.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know wha, what goes in her head. I mean it's like, it's like she, it's she's been that way ever since, ever since she retired a few years ago.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, also, she's not running it, it could be rusting. I mean it could be worth nothing soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, anyway, my father says, you know, it would be, it would be in condition, it's just the, it's just the battery that, that's having trouble, you know? Just the battery thing.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but it starts there and then it goes to other things like the alternator and that's never good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah. Anyway, getting back to my day, uh, so yeah, I went out with my father who... I kept him company while he battery shopped, uh. Yeah, I also hang, I also hung out with him at, for lunch over at Chick-fil-a. I had a coupon to get a free large fry with a purchase of a drink, but instead of fries I got a small fruit cup.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' And I, and I had sprite. Anyway, and uh, anyway, and uh, eventually...
 '''Kacey:''' Have you ever thought of cutting out sodas?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thinking about that. I'm thinking on, like you know, about putting myself on one, but it's a slow process, you know? I mean I can't just go cold turkey on soda.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah you can, it's easy.
 '''Chris:''' Not when you're, not when you're, not when one is a soda jerk. Or, to but it in a negative term, addicted to it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, do you get like caffeine headaches if you don't get soda?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I wouldn't, I wouldn't know that. It's like, at this point I haven't even gone a day at least, at least, without at least one serving of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah, that does seem like a problem. You should probably switch to diet sodas and then to juice and then to water. Cuss you really need, I mean just getting rid of it would be so much better.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, well fortunately I got like three, unfortunately I had just gotten to the uh, [''coughs''] Excuse me. [''coughs again''] I have some, I have mucus in my throat. Well I could say I have a frog in throat, and he's using my tonsils for a lily pad.
 '''Kacey:''' [''forced laugh'']
 '''Chris:''' I got that joke from Red Skelton.
 '''Kacey:''' Nice.
 '''Chris:''' Remember Red Skelton? He was a funny man.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he uh, died a couple of years ago, right?
 '''Chris:''' No, he died like more than that. Uh, I think he like died during the, uh, ear... during the mid 1990's. I think it was like a heart problem or something. You could look it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to the trip out, uh. We ended up also going over to Sears to check that, check out the prices there, but, you know, while he, while my father went to look at the prices, I went to look at the uh, look at the fitness workout DVDs and uh getting, and uh getting, getting the prices, finding the price matches(?) on there, so I can plan on getting, getting a workout DVD. Just like, you know, if I can't go walking, power walking or jogging, like, you know if it's raining or something. Uh, anyway, in the Sears I went looking there for the DVDs, couldn't find much in there but I did find, I searched where they had all the bunches of treadmills. I also found there, uh, there are bunches of, there are bunches of, there, uh, things for weight and the pedometers.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' I looked into those a little bit, so I took, I took some notes there. And uh, then, I had my father wanted to go to Best-Buy so, yeah, we went by Best-Buy. I found some DVDs there. And I considered all of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' I, uh, I even found a DVD set from Carmen Electra's strip tease workout, something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, I mean it's a maybe, but I'm, but I'm not gonna, but it's not right off the bat. I mean it just kinda struck, it just, you know? Little bit funny, it's just the same... anyway. Anyway, right after I took the, after I got the, after I looked at the DVDs, I also took another look at the, uh, title's of some more appropriately choice DVDs out of the bunches I saw there. Uh, I also found, I also found, this, there's a display of real guitars there, not, so I, you know I just strummed on the, uh, on the six strings of the uh real one a few times and uh, you know just to listen to it?
 '''Kacey:''' What did it sound like?
 '''Chris:''' You know, just the old, uh, twang, you know just [''imitating guitar''] TWANG, twang, twang, twang, twang.
 '''Kacey:''' So I guess it didn't so very good, huh?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, it sounded good. I mean, it's just like, you know, my imitating it's just not as accurate as the real deal. Anyway, Kim and I have been talking about, you know, a little bit of me picking up real guitar and taking, and taking lessons. I'm talking, I might, I, I'll, I'll consider doing that after I get, after I get some more money in, you know? Save it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to work on those and you can't, like, not practice because you're stressed or something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a huge commitment.
 '''Chris:''' Yup. I hear that. Anyway, aside from that, we came home and I did the, uh, audio of the video books for uh book number one and then it got to night, starting uploading those. Hmm. Oh yeah, and I started, uh, work on the, uh first sex drawing last night. I decided to go ahead and do the, uh, foursome drawing first. But it's like, you know, almost done drawing wise, so it's like, so it's like after I finish it up, I'll color it in. I didn't know how the, uh, other three, the other three drawings will do. You know, me with each of the girls.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's cool...

==Part 3==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|fAox_UvZayw}}</Center>

 '''Kacey:''' ...I look forward to them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway uh, that night also, I, uh, just, just after I started to blow up those video books I also created a section on the CWCipedia to put those video books on. It's like, basically, I figured, you know, it would be too much to put all the video books on the one page, so I created the one page with like, the first episode on it and then the, and then the list of the uh, each, of each book and then, you know, there's respective sets of videos under each book. So it's like, you know, for books you're gonna have the four videos for that, and then I'm gonna have the four videos for book one, on the book, on the book one video page, and then so, and then so on and so forth for each of the rest, each of the remaining books.
 '''Kacey:''' That's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, also I, also I played a little bit of Guitar Hero, and then, and then I talked to Kim and now I'm talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope you work on those drawings. Those will be interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am and I will finish them.
 '''Kacey:''' Good, cuss you said you'd finish them a couple nights ago.
 '''Chris:''' [''laughs''] Uhh, yeah, but then the emails happened and what not. I promise you they will be, they will be done within the next few, within the next few days. Or few nights.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well um, are you sending me, um, also, that, uh that stuff. You said you were sending me that stuff for uh, the PSN right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, the photocopies of my receipts and the, uh, sho, and the shots of the, uh, transactions from the PlayStation network. Yeah, I'm, yeah I'm gonna do those. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'll, I'll send those out to you tomorrow, I promise.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well it's been two days. I want to know you're serious about this.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah I am very serious about it. I am very serious about having you help me as a couch on, on that thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cuss that's good, um... just make sure you do it okay?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, so anything new happen to, uh, to you today?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, no, not really. I took a couple tests and then I went to work, really boring stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, um, anything else on your mind tonight?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, no, I mean I'm just a little tired, so I think I might just go to bed.
 '''Chris:''' Ahhh. Okay, well I mean, it's, it's the weeken- it's still Friday, so you know, you have tomorrow, Saturday, and then Sunday, it's the weekend. You know-
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' Then you can go back to studying after you get home from church I guess.
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' On Sunday.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that's just the plan.
 '''Chris:''' [''laughs''] Yeah. Okay, cool. All right, well, you know I just want to let you know, I wanted to remind you that I appreciate you being my friend.
 '''Kacey:''' Ohh, no problem.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it makes me feel good. You know, to have you as my friend.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, I will talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow as well. You take care, stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you too, bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye bye.

 [[''Call ends'']]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ick4la17xde9m59 mp3 of phonecall]

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