CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Encyclopedia Dramatica

2011-04-27T15:55:05Z

Goatselover: /* ED has been sold */

==To do==
*find some more quotes from Chris on ED, and if someone could find the sauce of the quote I just posted. kthnx. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:15, 10 February 2009 (CET)

* Add some mention of the new People page, and the new places page (added April 5th.) --[[User:Tregnier2795|Tregnier2795]] 02:16, 7 April 2009 (CEST)

==Trolls trolling trolls==
Just to clarify, no, I am not butthurt by ED. However, the faggots there were all like "Chris isn't funny anymore, let's delete this article" (and this was before the fake Vote for Deletion) which really wasn't resolved until people saw the sex tape and were like "Holy crap, I didn't realize he could go that low." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:34, 20 March 2009 (CET)

== Blocked ==

*Can anyone access the ED page? I can't, somehow, AT&T or Open DNS blocked ED from my server...--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 07:38, 4 September 2010 (PDT)
** ED is having problems today, as it routinely does. Not a forum etc shh. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 08:01, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

== ED has been sold ==

*Looks like Chris got what he wanted. The page is down and the website has been sold to some unfunny "Know-Your-Meme" type company. Should the page make mention of this or not? [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 19:46, 14 April 2011 (PDT)
:*Herp. My face when it already has been changed. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 19:49, 14 April 2011 (PDT)
::*ED hasn't been sold.
::ED went away because its userbase used it strictly for attack articles and blatant, unfunny racism in its later days. In fact, if you read any of the articles from mid-2010 and beyond, they were fucking tryhard, holding no information nor any satire and were nothing but LOLWUTANIGGERFUKINJEW. There's no one to blame for the loss of ED other than its userbase for not putting in the effort to actually make it what it was meant to be. [[User:Shiny|Shiny]] 21:08, 14 April 2011 (PDT)
:::ED was sold without warning because Girlvinyl (or should I say, Sherrod DeGrippo) is a attention whore and a sellout. Now we do have [http://www.lurkmoarpedia.com Lurkmoarpedia] as a backup and revival, but they're in the process of searching Google's caches (Chris's article is currently text only). [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 15:46, 16 April 2011 (PDT)
::::Bullshit Shiny, and considering you're one of the greedy fucking Jews responsible for ED's death anyone who takes what you say seriously is a brain dead moron. The users didn't kill ED they made it interesting to read. You and your fat bitch boss DeGrippo killed ED because she wanted more fucking money. Don't you even dare try to blame the contributers you cunts. By the way, saw OhInternet's article on Know Your Meme "Internet Meme Database known for selling out internet culture for money." Ha ha ha, the utter hypocrisy in this statement.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 08:55, 27 April 2011 (PDT)

== Trying To Save What's Left of the ED Articles ==
*Thankfully Google still has the cache which saved the text on a number of articles. http://www.google.com/search?btnG=1&pws=0&q=site%3Aencyclopediadramatica.com+chris+chan and click "Cached" (it's next to the URL). I don't know how long Google will keep these and I don't know what would be the best way to save this information. I'm going to save the HTML and post it here. It was really lousy of the ED admins to close without notice. [[User:Crow|Crow]] 07:57, 16 April 2011 (PDT)
:*I'm pretty sure I got most of it. Couldn't find some of the Talk pages but I don't think it really matters that much. http://www.mediafire.com/?6m7hk01609e4e7k [[User:Crow|Crow]] 09:01, 16 April 2011 (PDT)

==EncyclopediaDramatica.ch==
With the inside job on the death of the old ED, I added the relevant information to the article without going too in-depth on the issue. Before it almost looked as if the article was tacitly directing users to "the new ED at OhInternet which would be a terrible lie.
Needless to say, the new ED is on track with well over a million page views and with all the articles but still needing more images of the old ED.
Any work re-adding images to the CWC article would be appreciated since DeGrippo the Hutt and her gang have bleached all the old article images in their goal for a sanitized net. Seeing as most of the images are mirrored on here in some form, it shouldn't be too hard.--[[User:Ror|Ror]] 23:17, 21 April 2011 (PDT)
:I looked over the article to see what images were missing with respect to Chris-stuff a few hours ago. The only ones not there are the ones which have different filenames here, but I'm sure there are still a couple missing images I can replace. I'll look through things in a few hours. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 03:31, 22 April 2011 (PDT)

==About the ad revenue thing==
The article says that Ohinternet was created to increase ad revenues, but seeing as 1) that backfired incredibly (as can be seen by the drop in traffic and 100% decrease in URL value) and 2) the people at ED probably aren't that stupid, seeing as they have plenty of experience and a team of supposedly savvy individuals, I have to wonder if that was their intention. Should the ad revenue thing stay in or is that considered unnecessary POV? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 03:41, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
*Personally I don't see how this is relevant, as the article should be focusing on ED and how it relates to Chris. But from what Shiny has told me, it's hard to get advertisers when your content is "nigger nigger nigger" though it's possible they've alienated their userbase in the process. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:57, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
**Well I knew my "un NPOV" version of events wouldn't last long, ha. At least the current article isn't as overtly pro "Oh Internet!" anymore. That was pretty much the point, aside from information on the successor site that carried on in the actual spirit of the former ED. I'm sure most users can tell which of the two sites chooses not to dilute any information on the subject. Honestly, I really don't see the point of OhI! aside from the temporary inadvertent visits via redirects from the old url and the fact Google is still showing ED results from the cache. But as a revenue sore it seems pretty poorly thought out. And everyone knows one KnowYourMeme is one too many. So, it is a mystery. --[[User:Ror|Ror]] 05:24, 22 April 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Main Page

2010-12-30T02:06:26Z

Goatselover: /* CWCki is pretty dead */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

Talk:Main Page

2010-12-30T02:05:40Z

Goatselover: /* CWCki is pretty dead */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

Chris and race

2010-09-24T16:24:38Z

Goatselover: /* Parental influence */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[Image:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|Chris's view of other races.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung-fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian. Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung-fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|recently leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown and Chris simply does not seem to know there is a difference between China and Japan, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they have different written languages or even different currency.

In his real life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he never includes black hair when he lists suitable hair colors for potential [[sweethearts]], which would exclude most Asian women. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of Chesterfield County's Korean congregation in the [[church audio]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Cheng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"Navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable [[fail]] because true Cherokee wore vests, and used only bows and arrows (something Chris is too stupid to use). The first tribes to use firearms were the Apaches of Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas, who used rifles, not pistols. This whole video proves nothing but Chris being an aspie. He's probably ''not even Native American''.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder! JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a Hanukkiah, has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although, Snyder is a very common German last name), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|the]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Spanish]] [[CWC's Pokésite 2|language]], Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized sombrero (even though most Mexicans prefer a 10 gallon hat), and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "Spanish Fly", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that often times, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for peoples from continental Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has friends in the Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that he passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In 2008 Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." On 21 September during a [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|prank call]], Bob admitted to having ties with the Ku Klux Klan.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods. I bet he doesn't want to be Native American anymore. Or does he?

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]] he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included Jack Thaddeus removing his ads from CWCipedia and Mao taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in Sonichu==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (unclear, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST policemen)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and race

2010-09-24T16:20:20Z

Goatselover: /* Parental influence */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[Image:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|Chris's view of other races.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung-fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian. Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung-fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|recently leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown and Chris simply does not seem to know there is a difference between China and Japan, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they have different written languages or even different currency.

In his real life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he never includes black hair when he lists suitable hair colors for potential [[sweethearts]], which would exclude most Asian women. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of Chesterfield County's Korean congregation in the [[church audio]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Cheng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"Navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable [[fail]] because true Cherokee wore vests, and used only bows and arrows (something Chris is too stupid to use). The first tribes to use firearms were the Apaches of Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas, who used rifles, not pistols. This whole video proves nothing but Chris being an aspie. He's probably ''not even Native American''.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder! JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a Hanukkiah, has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although, Snyder is a very common German last name), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|the]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Spanish]] [[CWC's Pokésite 2|language]], Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized sombrero (even though most Mexicans prefer a 10 gallon hat), and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "Spanish Fly", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that often times, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for peoples from continental Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has friends in the Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that he passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In 2008 Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." On 21 September 2010 during a [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|prank call]], Bob admitted to having ties with the Ku Klux Klan.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods. I bet he doesn't want to be Native American anymore. Or does he?

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]] he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included Jack Thaddeus removing his ads from CWCipedia and Mao taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in Sonichu==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (unclear, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST policemen)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and race

2010-09-24T16:18:32Z

Goatselover: /* Parental influence */ LYNCH TO THE EXTREME

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[Image:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|Chris's view of other races.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung-fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian. Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung-fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|recently leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown and Chris simply does not seem to know there is a difference between China and Japan, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they have different written languages or even different currency.

In his real life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he never includes black hair when he lists suitable hair colors for potential [[sweethearts]], which would exclude most Asian women. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of Chesterfield County's Korean congregation in the [[church audio]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Cheng Zhong'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"Navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. This video was inevitable [[fail]] because true Cherokee wore vests, and used only bows and arrows (something Chris is too stupid to use). The first tribes to use firearms were the Apaches of Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas, who used rifles, not pistols. This whole video proves nothing but Chris being an aspie. He's probably ''not even Native American''.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder! JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL, called a Hanukkiah, has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on a Menorah) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are Melvins with many allergies, you see.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating specially ''fried'' foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although, Snyder is a very common German last name), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|the]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Spanish]] [[CWC's Pokésite 2|language]], Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized sombrero (even though most Mexicans prefer a 10 gallon hat), and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "Spanish Fly", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that often times, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for peoples from continental Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#ThePCassassins_-_Call_Bobby_Chandler|has friends in the Klan and may be a member himself]], it's safe to assume that he passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. In 2008 Bob said that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black." On 21 September 2010 during a [[prank phone call|Prank Calls]], Bob admitted to having ties with the Ku Klux Klan.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to please the gods. I bet he doesn't want to be Native American anymore. Or does he?

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]] he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included Jack Thaddeus removing his ads from CWCipedia and Mao taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in Sonichu==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good, never seen)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (unclear, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST policemen)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, never seen)
*In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Sonichu and Rosechu's children

2010-09-13T18:45:47Z

Goatselover:

[[Image:Sr_kids.JPG|thumb|388px|right|From left to right: '''Cerah''', '''Christine''', '''Robbie.''']]
'''Cerah''' (sometimes spelled '''Cera'''), '''Christine''' and '''Robbie''' are the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|inbred]] children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Cerah is the oldest, followed by Christine, and finally Robbie.<ref name=married>[[Sonichu#Married Life and Children]]</ref>

It is probable that Cerah is named after [[Sarah Hammer|Chris's childhood best friend]] and Robbie is named after either [[Bob|Chris's father]] or [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|his childhood hero]]. Christine's name may come from the feminine variant of Christian's name (due to his [[Chris and ego|narcissism]]) or his obsession with the name "[[Crystal]]". It should be noted that while Chris was uploading images to use as thumbnails for his character bio pages, he attempted to display a nonexistent image file entitled "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg" where a drawing of Christine should have gone.

They are identified by their whiny, high-pitched voices and irritating [[speech impediment]]s. It is notable that to date Sonichu or Rosechu have not been seen spending time with a child of the opposite gender. Rosechu spends large amounts of time with Cera and Christine [[Women's rights|in the kitchen]], while Sonichu and Robbie do manly activities such as gazing into each others' eyes and talking about their Wii.

The little shits end almost every statement with "Yay!" It should be noted that this is [[PS3 History Level|how Chris talks]], not how ''children'' talk. They are also known for their [[The Creepy Stare|creepy, blank expressions and soul-less eyes]].

The children are widely hated by '''everybody''', even more so than the other characters. They make ''[[wikipedia:The Brood|The Brood]]'' look adorable and charming.

==Appearances==

[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu: The comic that's not afraid to tackle child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|right|The only insectivore that will ever wuv Chris.]]

The kids' most prominent appearance to date is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for [[McIntire Park]]. They've also been seen in two pages of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' Issue 9]], as well as begetting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their Spanish [[lesbian]] nanny, [[Heather Iglesias]], while their neglectful parents waste time trying to assist their hideous father in his quest for [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].

The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's [[China|loins]] have also appeared in [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and in [[Sonichu 11]]. Sonichu 11 is where Chris started making comics of said Christmas Story. Here we learn that Christine is no longer a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]], and Robbie replaces his R's with W's while speaking in an effort to be as saccharine and grating as possible. However, this could be interpreted as a way of Chris trying to pass of the extremely complex dialogue Robbie has as something a child would say, you know, because he's making malapropisms like those [[wikipedia:Family Circus|melon-headed kids in the funnies]]. Cera (formerly Cerah) breaks the fourth wall to say "I wuv you!" to Chris.

Robbie makes a brief appearance in [[Sonichu 10]], describing an incident which involved him pissing on a lizard. Needless to say, [[Patti-Chan|cruelty to animals]] is one of the early signs of a [[Death threats|potential psychopath]].

The children also appear in Chris's [[:File:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|disingenuous plea]] for helping Haiti.

==Evolution==

If we take what Chris said in his [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|"business presentation"]] as canon, happiness/[[Gal-pal|friendship]] is a major factor in the development of sonees and roseys. This, of course, raises the question of ''why'' these little fuckers haven't evolved and joined the legion of one dimensional sideshow attractions in [[Sonichu]]. The logical conclusion is that they are both [[Chandler Cats|mistreated]] and [[Chris|friendless]]. Given that [[Sandy]] evolved in a week after the [[Sonichu 10| toilet-related death of the mother she never knew]], the level of abuse would have to be [[Sonichu_10#Forgiveness....3F| extreme violence]] or [[Rape|sexual assault]]. Still, since Chris has been known to rip off [[Pokemon]] mechanics on a whim, he could claim that the children are under the effects of an Everstone, which would prevent them from evolving. That, of course, raises the question:

''[[Pedofork|Why are Sonichu and Rosechu keeping their children in an everlasting childhood?]]''

==Shiny==

Christine is a "Shining Rosey" according to Chris.<ref name=married /> Unsurprisingly, Chris has, yet again, ripped off an element of ''[[Pokémon]]'' canon (in the games, a Pokémon that has a different coloration from what is usual for its species is considered to be "shiny"), because Chris lives, breathes, eats, and shits Pokémon. Chris also seems to believe that [[trolls|his readers]] are also Pokéfags like him, because he assumes that everyone understands what the term "shiny" means, and thus neglects to elaborate any further.

It is believed that Sonichu and Rosechu claim Christine is a shiny to hide the fact her real father is either [[Magi-chan]], [[Jamsta]] or [[Darkbind]], which would explain her distinct purple coloring. Darkbind is often considered to be a more likely candidate, with Magi-Chan's obvious [[Homos|homosexuality]]. However given the [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|possibility]] that Rosechu may indeed be a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]], and with Magi-Chan's well-known [[Virgin with rage|sexual frustrations]] in mind, it is not entirely inconceivable that she and the lavender wonder got drunk one night at a [[Chris's Big Night Out|bar]] and accidentally got knocked up with this little bundle of joy. Hell, maybe Rosechu is both the mother ''and'' the father.

It's also possible that Christine is in fact the daughter of [[Chris and Sex#Bestiality|Chris and Rosechu]]. Chris's hedgehog form is blue, and pink is a kind of red. Combine the two and you get purple. Chris is also an apathetic psychic, so it's not impossible for him to have wiped or altered Rosechu's memory of the event. Most damning of all is the fact that when uploading images to the CWCipedia for the character bios, he mistyped "ChristineRosey.jpg" as "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg", suggesting that he at the very least sees her as a daughter and at the most another sue for Crystal. This would not be surprising considering Christine shares his strong [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]] to the degree that she is seldom seen without a mirror (often confused for a rattle due to Chris's shit [[art]]).

In [[A Sonichu Day|Chris's live-action production of a day in the life of Sonichu]], Rosechu extolled the virtues of Christine's shiny nature, implying, if not outright stating a bad case of parental favoritism. It's unknown if Rosechu loves Christine more than her other children because she's more valuable, or if it's because Christine is the only reminder she has of her forbidden affair with Christine's real father. At any rate, Rosechu seems perfectly happy to pander to Christine's bare-faced arrogance like the disgusting sycophant she is.

==Fan art==
[[Image:Robbieisadick.jpg|thumb|right|The ugly truth.]][[Image:Robbiesonee.png|thumb|left|Isn't he cute?]]
[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction vandal.jpg|thumb|Family bonding with the kids.]]

The children of Sonichu and Rosechu are also a [[:Category:Guro|popular subject]] for fan art. In August, 2009, a large volume of art depicting Sonichu and Rosechu's [[Sex#Pedophilia|frolicking]] children was emailed to Chris. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|He did not appreciate it,]] for some odd reason. Ironically, in a later comic, he all but confirmed this art as canon with the strong implication that Christine is not a virgin, most likely deflowered by Sonichu himself.

[[File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|Evidence that even Robbie is (yet another) Mary Sue]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[Sonee & Rosey]]
*[[Sonichu]]
*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[A Sonichu Day]] The first time the little abominations ever spoke
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
* Wikipedia article on ''[[wikipedia:The Lurking Fear|The Lurking Fear]]''

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Talk:Obesity

2010-05-16T15:31:23Z

Goatselover: /* Merge */

==To do==
Add Chris's comments about weight ("about 200 pounds"), his exercise (Guitar Hero, standing up), Chris being defensive about his weight (in IRC, he got really defense and in an e-mail with Evan [I think] he's like "I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!!") and so forth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 31 May 2009 (CEST)
*I added a lot of stuff, but I suck with editing wiki format so a lot of things don't have links. I fsomeone wants to help out, go for it.--[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 17:01, 19 July 2009 (CEST)
*Now that the Chris and Health article is up, I propose that we merge this and that article together, seing as this falls under health.
:*I'm tempted to do that, though I'm leaning towards calling this "Chris and his weight" since that's a pretty indepth topic himself that comes up a lot (that is, "Chris is fat lol"). Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:35, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
::*It's definitely an important topic, seeing as how it has not only been brought up so many times, but how adamantly Chris has reacted to it. It's beyond just not bathing regularly, this is a real part of his mindset and I think it warrants it's own page. Why don't we just move the two sections from [[Chris and Health|Health]] and add them to this page, then include a link? We already are talking about exercise, I don't think nutrition would be that much of a leap. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 16:48, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
:::*When I made this article I made it because there seems to be a lot of fat people in Chris' life, including himself. But then again this is quite common in the US. So I support it being moved to "Chris and Obesity" or "Chris and His Weight", but not merged with the Health article.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 23:20, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
:: merge this bitch--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 18:39, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

==Rename==
I'm thinking about renaming this "Chris's weight." Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:17, 28 October 2009 (CET)
*If we're going for a more objective title, that would be better. Obesity should still re-direct to it, though; if for no other reason than that this particular page is linked to extensively and trying to find them all would be a bitch. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 01:24, 28 October 2009 (CET)
**How about renaming it "Buddha Belly" considering that's his CWC-ism for his obesity. --[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 00:36, 15 November 2009 (CET)
***Honestly, I think pretty much all of this could be added to [[Chris and Health]]. Maybe we could label that section Buddha belly, or at least mention that on the page or something?--[[User:That Man|That Man]] 19:37, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Merge ==

There's a lot of good stuff here, but it overlaps with [[Chris and Health]]. Could it be condensed into a subsection of his weight and diet?--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 08:19, 5 December 2009 (CET)
*I agree with this. The "Chris and..." series is a much better place for this and some other overlapping articles. I vote we merge.--[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 23:47, 7 December 2009 (CET)
*I also agree with the merge. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:03, 13 December 2009 (CET)
*Same. [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Shiny]] 20:04, 13 December 2009 (CET)
*I agree! It'd make a lot more sense IMHO. --[[User:Morganna|Morganna]] 17:24, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Yeah I agree, but we have to becareful not to Fuck up the Health article. But there IS a large ammount of good info on here.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:14, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*I don't know. His obesity has been playing a lot into his life lately, from Kacey's father calling him fat to which he's embarrassed to admit it and uses a euphemism to try and not outright refer to himself as fat, to denying it and claiming he used to be fat (i.e. Sammy and addressing Asperchu).--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 23:54, 29 January 2010 (UTC)
*To me it seems that a lot of the actual health related aspects could be added to Chris and Health in a merge, but I also agree with the above comment in the rename section regarding the CWCism 'Buddha belly' I say we do a bit of both of those. We'll have a section for his obesity in Chris and Health and another seperate page for the CWCism Buddha belly. Kind of like how there are articles for 'Chris and Race' alongside the page for the CWCism 'Niggos' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:01, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
*I say let this stand, but maybe trim some of the fat (heh heh) from Chris and health — anything on that page should just be a summary of the concepts that are covered in more detail here. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 23:21, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
* I say we merge this bitch--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:42, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
* I vote for placing an overview of his obesity, particularly the health ramifications, on the Health page, with a link to Obesity. So I second (or rather third) Apostrophe and Edward--[[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:33, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
* I agree wholly to merge this sucker, that way, everything about Obesity can be covered in Chris and Health, and his excuses not to exercise as well. --[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 03:54, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* I like having this separate. Chris and health is massive as it is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* I'm also going agree with everyone on having them separate. If his [[hair]] gets it's own article despite not being as major of a subject as his obesity then I don't see why this should be merged.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 15:31, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

==Way to determine his weight==

Why not ask him his waist size? I mean he's probably too stupid to realize that its meant to get his actual weight. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*Because he might not know, or might measure inaccurately? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 16:57, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
** He'll most likely lie and say that he's a size 4 or something. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:58, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
*** You really think we can't lead him on?[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
***We could tell him that a number in a certain range (one likely to be close to his size) is the sign of a strong, healthy man. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:16, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Brilliant. We could tell him that the sign of a healthy man is a waistline between 40 and 50. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:21, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Adult Swim

2010-04-18T12:05:48Z

Goatselover: Moral Orel isn't on hiatus, it's long ended

'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] primarily catering to adults age 18-24.

Due to [[Chris's]] [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost $120 worth, as of the fall of 2009.

Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at pointing out the inherent fallacies and ignorance of fundamentalist Protestantism, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of. Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". Most likely, all of the jokes and truths go right over his head.

It is also unknown If he watches Metalocalypse, although he prolly haets it because of the [[pickles|the Drummer's name]].
==Shows that Chris watches==
*''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*Assorted [[anime]] shows.

{{stub}}

Futurama

2010-03-30T21:08:56Z

Goatselover:

'''''Futurama''''' was one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] favorite shows from the Adult Swim lineup (now airing on [[South Park|Comedy Central]]), so he occasionally peppers his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] with material from it. While ''Futurama'' is a brilliant sci-fi satire which can be enjoyed on multiple levels, Chris probably only watches it for the [[random-access humor]] and so he can [[Semen|mass debate]] to cartoon chicks.

==Stuff Chris stole from this show==
* A common gag in ''Futurama'' is the appearance of 20th and 21st century celebrities and other historical figures as cloned disembodied heads sustained in jars of murky fluid. This allows the writers to use guest stars who would otherwise be long-dead in the 31st Century, when the show is set. In ''[[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]'', Chris battles the evil [[W-M-Manajerk]], who is basically the head of a nondescript man in one of these jars. His jar is mounted atop a powerful robot body, which looks suspiciously similar to one used by Richard Nixon's head in an episode of ''Futurama'' where he ran for President of Earth.

* ''[[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]'' involves time-travel, and so [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] creates a "time-sphere" which looks very much like the one employed in the direct-to-DVD film "Bender's Big Score". In fact, Chris and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] spend their trip backward through time discussing the movie as though it were a scientific treatise on real-life temporal mechanics. The pair also discuss the episode "Roswell That Ends Well," and agree that the two fictional cartoons prove that one cannot alter the past to influence the future. Chris also references the binary code used in the movie to activate the time sphere, although this doesn't appear to be dialogue, or even connected to the plot of the issue.

* As if that weren't bad enough, Chris throws in Bender himself, one of the main characters of ''Futurama'', plunging through the time stream as Chris and the others pass by going the other way.

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Futurama|Wikipedia article on ''Futurama'']]

{{stub}}

[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

Talk:HEXBox

2010-03-26T14:16:42Z

Goatselover: /* Why Chris hates the HEX-BOX */

==To do==
*<strike>photoshop Xbox logo to read "Hex Bawx"</strike>
*references to Hex Bawx in video and comics
:Added the appearance from Sonichu 8. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
*the lack of logic behind Chris's hatred of it
**Find Chris's PS3 transactions thing that shows he's spent like, a grand on PS3 related stuff. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:57, 17 March 2009 (CET)
***Somebody please save, and add/annotate these to the CWCiki. They are currently linked on the PVCC from CLYDE (with LUV). [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)

'Spergin Side Note: Christian actually used the correct spelling case for the '''Wii''' in his ALL CAPS Trophy message. Does ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' on Xbox 360 make Chris shit himself? Hell, he probably shits himself seeing Sonic in Nintendo games. HIS HOME-MADE NINTENDO POWER DREAM COME TRUE~. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
*This is probably why he puts so much credence in his dreams, notably his Love Quest. It's possible if there was never a Sonic game on Nintendo, he might be less psychotic about his love quest. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:33, 14 May 2009 (CEST)

I distinctly remember that he had his original Xbox visible among his clutter in one of the videos, perhaps even many of them. I can't find it. Which was it? --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:15, 8 November 2009 (CET)

==Did he own an Xbox?==
Whether or not his Saturn has been mistaken for an Xbox, he did almost certainly own one at some point. If you check out his list of [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he sold or tried to sell several Xbox games. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:02, 26 November 2009 (CET)
:Ah, didn't see that. I'll add that to the article. --[[User:APBoy|APBoy]] 22:04, 26 November 2009 (CET)

=="Makes you do a 360° and walk away"==

That isn't CWC failing at "basic geometry" but rather a reference to a nonsensical meme, which was later reiterated through an animated gif of Sega Genesis Michael Jackson approaching an Xbox 360, turning a full circle, and moonwalking away. If Chris got it from this, I think it's an example of one of the few times he has actually understood internet culture beyond his own creations.
:He wasn't failing at basic geometry when he made the joke, but when he failed at finding half of 360 degrees, which is 180 degrees. He said 130 and 120 degrees before giving up. That was him failing at basic geometry. Also, both "jokes" were ideas he stole from an IRC chat so he fails at even the most common and fundamental of internet memes. [[User:Sakanz|sakanz]] 09:13, 24 December 2009 (CET)

==PS3==

If the reason why he hates the 360 is indeed cause you have to pay for online, then we should see some interesting development now that Sony made plans to add a subscription fee to PSN akin to the gold and silver accounts in a 360. I don't think this should be mentioned just yet, atleast until Sony formally announces it, but yeah, just throwing this out there. [[User:Dave|Dave]]

==Teh Vidya==
What was the video game Chris pirates in page 53 of issue 10? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 23:11, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
* Most people think it's "Don't Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls" [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:14, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

==Why Chris hates the HEX-BOX==
"Chris hates [the XBox] for no real reason other than not wanting to pay for online gaming."
Seriously? I mean, ''seriously''? Is this really the only reason Chris hates it? Has Chris ever said anything about this?

He whines about it in mailbag 5. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:56, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

Well he is a hateful, hateful man.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 14:16, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

Man in the Pickle Suit

2010-03-22T01:22:06Z

Goatselover: /* Selected videos */ correcting the year

{{quote|The man in the pickle suit tricked me again!|Christian Weston Chandler}}
{{quote|HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH!|Chris on the Cucumber People}}

[[Image:CucumberMan.jpg|thumb|right|WHO IS THE CUCUMBER MAN?]]

The '''Man in the Pickle Suit''' (also known as the '''MPS''') is the arch-Nemesis of [[Chris]] whom he blames whenever he is tricked or conned.

Chris actually believes this is a real person. Since he also believes said [[niggos|negro]] is after him and behind all the recent trollings, basically everyone can become the [[Pickle]] Suit Man. As such, The Man in the Pickle Suit has now become the figure as whom most [[trolls]] anonymize.

Oddly, even though Chris turns basically everyone that [[Kick the Autistic|annoys him]] into a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villain]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|shitty comic]], the Man in the Pickle Suit has been spared. The closest it got was when [[Clyde Cash|"Cly"]] fought Chris using a goddamn ''Pickle Gun''. A gun. Shaped like a pickle. That ''shot'' pickles. He never manages to actually hit Chris with it, so there's no way to tell how much damage a fucking pickle would actually do.

== Origin ==

[[Lordsillynipples]] is the one true creator of the pickle negro. After posing as [[Blanca|Blanca Weiss]] to troll CWC in early August 2008, using a fake MySpace page, silly made Chris believe that Blanca was indeed a black transvestite in a pickle costume by suddenly revealing a new version of the Myspace. Ever since then, Chris fears the picklepeople.

{{quote|I don’t know who that guy is and I don’t think I really would care to know.|[[Chris]] on the Man in the Pickle Suit - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

== The Jew in the Pickle Suit ==

This Pickle Man, at great personal risk, rescued [[Emily]] from the horrific date with Chris IRL. He also accompanied [[Robert Simmons V]] to his [[Church audio|visit]] to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Christian's Church]] disguised as an average civilian.

==The Pickleman Today==

Rumor says that the man in the pickle suit now leads a calm and relaxing life in the nude beaches of Molvania where he and the Molvanian people exchange ways to troll Chris.

==Selected videos==
*11 September 2008: [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008]], where Chris is first trolled by the Pickle Man.
*21 October 2008: [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where Chris crashes into slumber after the Pickle Man breaks up his relationship with [[Blanca]].
*17 March 2010: [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]], where Chris accuses [[Surfshack Tito]] of being a "pickle-suited nigger."

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Pickleslol.jpg|One artist's depiction of the Man in the Pickle Suit.
Image:Black_man_in_pickle_suit.jpg|The man in the pickle suit looking awesome.
Image:MPSGotReal.jpg|That's no suit, Chris.
Image:FC07.jpg|He is real. Very real.
Image:Read This One.jpg|Despite including this warning, in which he suspected the user of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, he sent this user pictures of him in his mother's underwear and bra. IN THE SAME EMAIL.
Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|The Man in the Pickle Suit is an ancient title passed on from one troll to another. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Geoffrey Weston the Feeble Minded (a possible early ancestor to [[Daniel Weston]]) is tricked by "The Man Donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit."
Image:FightPickleman.jpg|The weaboo version of the Man in the Pickle Suit.

</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.myspace.com/kawaiikitsune123 TMITPS' Myspace page.]
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Man-in-the-Pickle-Suit/178569036183 The Man In The Pickle Suit On Facebook.]
{{Trolls}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]

The Simpsons

2010-03-15T19:45:48Z

Goatselover: /* The Show and Chris */

[[Image:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''The Simpsons''' is a cartoon about an extremely dysfunctional family, their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. At first the show was considered a classic, but over the years the quality has degenerated, with ridiculous storylines and token celebrity appearances now the order of the day. Of course, like all mediocre cartoons, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] loves it, although not as much as he loves the sub-par rip-off, [[Family Guy]].
==The Show and Chris==
Unlike other bad shows, Chris seems to distance himself from it. However, he still seems to be a huge fan of the show, going so far as to video himself [[What%27s_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] that featured in a recent ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special. When Chris finally [[Long_Island_Iced_Tea#Grip_.27n.27_Sip|decided to drink alcohol]], his drink of choice was the Long Island Iced Tea, influenced by an episode where Marge Simpson drank one. It also seems from the [[Secret Weapon]] video that at times Chris laughs like Nelson, a character of the series known for his signature "Ha-ha!" laugh. It recently seems that a poster of Marge's Playboy magazine cover has become one of his many defenses against becoming a [[homo|homo.]] Chris also seems to have lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Christian_Love_Day#Christian_Love_Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "Trash of the Titans." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one borne out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."

Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu|Sandy Rosechu's]] similarities to Lisa Simpson, as both have spikey hair and are said to be super intelligent child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg and has a personality.

{{stub}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls

2010-03-06T15:59:23Z

Goatselover: /* Analysis */

[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|Cover page of the original assignment. Note the English class.]]
{{Illustrations}}

{{quote|Others say that they originated from the depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story..|''How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls'', Tablet 1, Fragment 1; author unknown, but typically attributed to "High Shaman Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded"}}

'''"How the Pokémon came into Our PokéBalls"''' is a short story by [[Christian]] done in his ''senior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].'' In it, he attempts to establish some form of creation-myth for the Pokémon universe. Coincidentally, there is an [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Sinnoh_myths official one] now.

How it got a good grade is a mystery lost to time.

==Introduction==
[[Image:How_the_pokemon_came_into_our_pokeballs.png|thumb|Something like this...]]
How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls.
10/30/[[1999|99]]
(Intro.)

For my English class in late September of this year, I had to write my own
myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came
to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did my [[Barbara|mom]] and [[lies|a
few other people]]. Since it was so [[fail|good]], I thought I'd feature it on this
website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)

==Page 1==
9/22/99
Page 1.
[[Image:Mewchew.jpg|thumb|right|Mewchu, the creator-god of the Pokémon, according to Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded.]] Some people say that the Pokemon came from the sky in a giant
rock known as the Moon Stone. Others say that they originated from the
depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story.

A long, long time ago in the heavens above, there were such
powerful gods as Zeus, Maheo,<ref>[http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/native_american-mythology.php?deity=MAHEO Maheo is a Native American creation deity]</ref> and [[GodJesus|many more]]. But, it all started with
a rookie god, known as...Mewchu<ref>Spoilers for Sonichu #12: Sonichu and a Mew fuse to create the god Mewchu who travels back in time to create the Pokémon.</ref> He had thepower to help provide for the
animals, plants, minerals, and to keep track of the seven natural powers of
the universe: Fire, Grass, Lightning, Water, Fighting, Psychic, and the
power of the Colorless Star.

Mewchu made sure that the animals and plants were fed from [[McDonald's|natures
good foods]]. He made sure that nature's minerals, such as rocks, dirt from
the ground, and the mucky messes were used for their purpose.

One day, Mewchu said to himself, "[[Monthly Tugboat|There must be a way to allow the
animals, small and big, to do these tough chores, so that I may be able to
be a little clean.]]" Then, he thought, "Why not give some of the natural
powers to a new type of creature." So, he went down to earth with the
power to absorb the natural powers of earth, and share it. So, he
stood... in the middle of the Pacific, surrounded by islands of seven
and water.

He decided to start with making a powerful animal to assist him
in his great task. Then, he found a weird creature on an island. It was
mostly white, blue eyes, short arms, big feet, and a long tail with a pink
tip. Mewchu has never seen such an animal, so he absorbed the power of
Psychic from the stars, gave the creature a gentle rub on its back, and
picked it up. And Mewchu said to the creature, "You, rare creature, have
received the supernatural power of the Psychics from the stars above us.
But you would need a name for you will be my assistant to make a new type
of elemental creatures. I shall call you...Mew." And the Mew jumped for
joy, then set him down with some wise words. "Mew," Mewchu said, "I want
you to pick some animals that are here now, and share with them the Psychic
power. For I would not be able to, because I may only share each elemental
power only one time for one creature or more. I trust that you can share
this power, while I handle the other six elemental powers." Then he set the
Mew down, on its island and it went on its way.

==Page 2==
9/22/99
Page 2.

Mewchu decided to start with the power of grass, so he rubbed the
grass of another island's ground, and he waved his hand over the trees.
A triceratops began to lose its horns, and it turned into a creature
called [[Wikipedia:Bulbasaur|Bulbasaur]]. A caterpillar lost its fuzz; it grew a little bigger; it
turned green, and it got the name of [[Wikipedia:Caterpie|Caterpie]]. Another caterpillar's fur
only shortened; it grew a small horn; it grew a little, like the Caterpie
did; it turned orange, and it became a [[Wikipedia:Weedle|Weedle]]. A rattlesnake turned
purple, and grew a single yellow stripe; it became an [[Wikipedia:Ekans|Ekans]]. A rat grew
small horns, turned blue, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♀|Nidoran (female)]]. And, another rat
grew bigger horns, turned pink, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♂|Nidoran (male)]]. A bat's legs
turned to two tails as thin as a blade of grass, its ears grew bigger, and
it became a [[Wikipedia:Zubat|Zubat]]. A tiny bush sprouted out of the ground, grew eyes,
and became an [[Wikipedia:Oddish|Oddish]]. A fuzzy bush grew two teeth like a vampire; it
became a [[Wikipedia:Venonat|Venonat]]. A bell-shaped palm shrunk; it became a [[Wikipedia:Bellsprout|Bellsprout]].
A mud puddle grew into a [[Wikipedia:Grimer|Grimer]]. Six eggs bounced and said, "[[Wikipedia:Exeggcute|Exeggcute]]."
A puff of smoke became solid, and mentioned, "[[Wikipedia:Koffing|Koffing]]." A bunch of vines
gathered around another Oddish, it was [[Wikipedia:Tangela|Tangela]]. A dragonfly grew, and said,
"[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]." The rocks got a body of armor, and said, "[[Wikipedia:Pinser|Pinser]]."

Then Mewchu dipped his hand into the firey volcano of another
island, pulled it out, and waved his hand over the volcano. Many animals
were below. A baby tyrannosaurus got fire on its tail, and yelled,
"[[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charrrrmander]]!" A fox's tail split into six. Maybe, it's now a [[Wikipedia:Vulpix|Vulpix]].
A dog turned orange, and growled, "[[Wikipedia:Growlithe|Growwwllithe]]!" A [[Wikipedia:Ponyta|pony]] got burned, and
neighed. A chunk of ash was revived and turned into a [[Wikipedia:Magmar|Magmar]]. And, a big
bird flew out the volcano, it was a [[Wikipedia:Moltres|Moltres]].

Mewchu then dipped his hand in the ocean's waters, and gave another
wave over another island with a big lake in the middle. A baby turtle and
a squirrel on an island joined together to make a [[Wikipedia:Squirtle|Squirtle]]. A fat duck
turned yellow with a headache; it became a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]]. A tadpole got bigger
with a swirl on its belly, a [[Wikipedia:Poliwag|Poliwag]] came to be. A jellyfish's arms shrunk
into two. It was then a [[Wikipedia:Tentacool|Tentacool]]. A [[Wikipedia:Slowpoke|Slowpoke]] was formed when a baby
hippopotamus grew a tail. A seal turned white, and grew a horn on its
head; it was [[Wikipedia:Seel|Seel]]. A shell opened up, and stuck out a tongue, hello
[[Wikipedia:Shellder|Shellder]]. A [[Wikipedia:Krabby|Krabby]] came when a crab got crowned. A seahorse started to
spit oil, a fish grew a horn on its head, and starfish grew a jewel.
Here were a [[Wikipedia:Horsea|Horsea]], a [[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]], and a [[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]. A crown from a treasure grew
onto a hard-shell fish; here was a [[Wikipedia:Magikarp|Magikarp]]. A rare lochness monster grew
a spiked shell on its back; it became a [[Wikipedia:Lapras|Lapras]]. A fossil was revived; it
was an Omanyte. Out of an arctic ice berg, an Articuno broke out.

==Page 3==
9/22/99
Page 3.

Meanwhile, Mew shared its Psychic power with a Psyduck, and a
Slowpoke. When Mew shared it with a rat, it fell asleep, and grew into
an Abra. When Mew came across the body of a dead lizard, it summoned its
spirit, and shared some "Gastly" secrets with it. Later, Mew met an
anteater; Mew put it to sleep, and the anteater became a Drowzee. Mew found
two monkeys, with an evolution. One turned into a Mr. Mime, and the other
became a Jynx. Later in the night, Mew gave birth, and the baby Mew looked
different. The new Mew gave its mother a psychic attack, and thrown it up
a tree. Suddenly, the new Mew grew to the size that
of a man with many years, It was a Mewtwo.

Meanwhile, Mewchu found a barren island with sand and rocks. He
punched it, and out of the ground came the fighting and ground type
creatures: Sandshrew, Diglett, Mankey, Machop, Geodude, Onix, Cubone,
Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Rhyhorn, and a Kabuto.

Then Mewchu summoned a thunderstorm, and lightning struck another
island. The lightning hit a little mouse, and the mouse grew into a
Pikachu. Metallic minerals rose out of the ground of a small area of the
island, and it formed to make a Magnemite. A coconut was struck with a
piece of the metallic material carrying some of the electric power; the
coconut turned metallic; it became a Voltorb. A wild cat was struck, and
it became an Electabuzz. And out of the thunderous clouds came a Zapdos.

And finally, Mewchu planted a transparent star in the middle of the
other island. And from the star came the Colorless creatures: Pidgey,
Rattata, Spearow, Clefairy, Jigglypuff, Meowth, Farfetch'd, Doduo,
Lickitung, Chansey, Tauros, Eevee, Porygon, and Dratini.

Before Mewchu bid farewell, he waved his hand over all seven
islands, and most of the creatures evolved into more powerful creatures.
And, then He shouted out, "May these creatures be helpful to the earth,
and may they use their abilities wisely." Then, he said with a tear of
joy, "Farewell,... Pokemon." And Mewchu flew back into the heavens.

The End.

==Analysis==

At first you'd be tempted to say that it's just Chris attempting to combine Genesis with Pokémon; but in actuality it has more in common with the myths of polytheistic cultures.

An obvious similarity is that there are many gods, and Mewchu is just a "rookie god." Mewchu, charged with the nourishment of the plants and animals, is essentially a harvest/fertility deity, in the vein of the Greek goddess Demeter<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeter</ref> His motivation for creating the Pokemon, so he'd have less work to do, is freakishly similar to the motivation behind the creation of man in the Enuma Elish. <ref>[http://www.sacred-texts.com/ane/enuma.htm Text of the Enuma Elish. Warning: tl;dr unless you like mythology a lot]</ref> Basically, Mewchu wanted to have shorter work days so he could get home in time for the game. It's a little mindboggling that Chris may or may not have been referencing something rather erudite like that; most likely he wasn't... but still... ''huh''.

Additional similarities to polytheistic creation myths include the god drawing upon the power/material of the nature for the purpose of altering the existing world, as opposed to the ''logos''<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity]</ref> of Genesis.

From a Pokémon point of view, the story still makes no sense. Regardless of the official Pokémon creation myths that were revealed in 2006 with the release of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Generation_IV the fourth generation] of games, certain Pokémon already had their origins outlined even in the first. Porygon and Mewtwo, for instance, are specifically stated to be artificially created. It can be assumed that Voltorb would have developed after the invention of the Poké Ball. He also gets many of the Pokémon's real life interpretations wrong. An example being Pinsir, which he refers to as anthropomorphic "rocks that got a body of armor" when it is actually an anthropomorphic [[Wikipedia:Stag beetle|stag beetle]].

Another interesting point is that, although Chris seems to avert the "show, don't tell" rule by making stories composed almost exclusively of exposition, that method is actually a good fit here; most myths are told in such an expository style. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

In the end, he still just ripped off Pokémon for a school assignment, but this wasn't the [[Sonichu|only time]] ... and far from the last.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Poetry]]

Chris and death

2010-03-02T20:36:40Z

Goatselover: /* Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|right|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he is really poor when it comes to understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other peoples' family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <strike>car crash</strike> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marvelling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrove_Tuesday</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but casted a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays' death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[Cwcville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Tranformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|Mike's obituary.]]
Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It's entirely possible he didn't even view the obituary page he was allowed access to. Overall, this is perhaps one of the most terrifyingly amoral acts Chris has ever undertaken.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to a flat, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for anyone other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
Coming soon... Both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many heath issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]]. As of March 01, 2010, Bob is in the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris has stated that he believes his father will survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. The inevitable might happen soon...

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Talk:Obesity

2010-01-29T23:54:21Z

Goatselover: /* Merge */

Ricardo Weston Chandler

2010-01-24T21:19:14Z

Goatselover: lol

[[Image:458-ElPokeSiteDeRWC.JPG|thumb|Oh Ricardo]]

[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]] is [[Chris's]] Spanish alter-ego. Presumably named in honor of Ricky Ricardo, star of ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', one of Chris's favorite TV shows.

Presumably a "Spanish name" he chose for Spanish class (a general practice in language classes where students will take a name in the language they're learning in order to "get into" the culture and language). Of course, while most people forget about this when they've left the course (or in some cases, even the teachers abandon the practice shortly into the course), Chris has adopted "Ricardo" as his actual Spanish name and uses it for his Spanish related endeavors. Of note is that Chris has apparently learned the European dialect of Spanish as is common in the Northwest Coast, unlike the Cuban that is taught in Florida or the Mexican that is taught in the southmost states, as noted by his use of European terms like "ascensor" for an elevator instead of "elevador", as well as him pronouncing the W as "doble V" instead of "doble U".

He is oblivious to the fact that in most European languages, people do not change their name when using a different language, but instead use the language's native form of the name, or transliterate it to fit the language's orthography. While Christian is actually a rather common name in Hispanic countries, if it were translated, his full name would be "Cristóbal Cristian Weston Velero". Of course it must be noted that Ricardo's linguistic skills have brought us gems such as [[noviophobia]]. It should also be noted that Ricardo is the Spanish and Portuguese version of the name "Richard", which is sometimes shortened to [[duck|"Dick"]].

Chris notably demonstrates his faculties with the Spanish language, or otherwise lack thereof, in [[Captain's_Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009#Addendum|this video]].

<gallery>
Image:396-PokePizzaria.jpg
Image:397-RicardoBadge.jpg
</gallery>

==El PokéSite==
{{main|CWC's Pokésite 2}}

==Hotel Ricky Ricardo==
{{main|Hotel Ricky Ricardo}}

==See also==
*[[Christopher's name change]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Pickle

2010-01-15T21:50:03Z

Goatselover: /* References to pickles */ Flapjack

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]
{{quote|If I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out!|[[Chris]], on dicks.}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|right|125px|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy.]]

'''Pickle''' is [[Chris]]'s euphemism for "penis," typically in the context of a penis other than his own. (His own penis is usually referred to as his [[duck]].) He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a Mary Sue) both hate penises due to Chris's intense [[homos|sexual insecurity]], to the point that they hate literal pickled cucumbers as well.

He is easily provoked by fan art suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a pickle, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable.

Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is the "[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]" who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his pickle.

Possibly due to troll usage of the term, Chris has seemed to use the term less often in [[2009]] though occasionally referring to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]].
 

==Pickled cucumbers==
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|100px|right|When you see it you'll shit bricks.]]
{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}
Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well documented that Christian has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from his trip to Ohio in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even images of pickles bother him — the picklish ad banners placed on [[CWCipedia]] in November 2009 provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell, remains to be seen. Considering his diet, pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle.

==References to pickles==
[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|right|125px|Rosechu rapes this villain afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|left|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]
Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the 4chan artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and YouTube videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

* In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy the Man in the Pickle Suit.
* He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|October 21 2008]].
* Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu IRC channel was home to his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase, the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
* The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
* Chris's nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at Rosechu. Her response is unwarranted to say the least.
* Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration.
{{clear}}
{{incomplete}}

 

Chris isn't the only one to be afflicted by this fear:
<center>{{#ev:youtube|Gd2uDOIYKN0}}</center>
<center>{{#ev:youtube|QzpUVSzpLR4}}</center>

==See also==
* [[China]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Duck]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Mass Debate]]
* [[Masturbating and squirtin']]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]