CWCki - User contributions [en]

File talk:100 2299.JPG

2010-11-17T02:22:41Z

GotAFish:

==A possible theory, not completely sure==
Did he use the plush breasts for this picture? It is a possibility. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:52, 16 November 2010 (PST)
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>facepalms* Of course he did. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 18:22, 16 November 2010 (PST)

File talk:100 2299.JPG

2010-11-17T02:22:17Z

GotAFish:

==A possible theory, not completely sure==
Did he use the plush breasts for this picture? It is a possibility. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:52, 16 November 2010 (PST)
:*facepalms* Of course he did. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 18:22, 16 November 2010 (PST)

Son-Chu

2010-11-09T08:02:19Z

GotAFish: How the fuck could you mess that up?

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris' parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], Escortin' Car."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris' dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading "UN4EVER" (apparently a support for the U.N.) and "IB MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris' family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris' car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu Window Static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris' car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old Tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both Sonic and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''Sonichu'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris' ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears CD's]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "Autism. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place, however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a Jesus fish, a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil_Change_due_4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris' absurdly overdue oil change.]]
Given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]] it's unlikely they take any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at the performance was with the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car was set to idle at a traffic stop or while parked the engine would rattle loudly, more then likely this is caused by bent U-joints (meaning Chris/Barbara probably hit a curb) connecting the drive shaft to the engine and transmission, and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]] the U-joints are much too expensive for him to repair. A Pennzoil sticker on the windshield indicated the next recommended oil change was to take place on the fifth of April 2009, over a year before the video was recorded. We also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it. At this point it can only be speculated which will go first: the car or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]?
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Barack Obama

2010-11-05T03:50:22Z

GotAFish: Off by a year

[[Image:Obama.jpg|thumb|right|Obama's favorite Rolling Stones song? "Paint It, Black."]]

{{quote|I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].|Chris on Obama, [[Rollin' and Trollin']]}}

'''Barack Hussein Obama''' (born 1961) is the current President of the [[United States of America]]. Because he is [[African Americans|black]] (half black, anyway), [[Chris]], being the ''somewhat'' [[racist]], [[autistic]] manchild that he is, previously found him very detestable.

He appears briefly in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] in episode 17, painting the White House black. There was a popular joke where he did so after winning the presidential office. Chris obviously took this joke way too seriously, even [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|believing it]] as an actual rumor about Obama.

Chris, while initially disliking Obama, felt he and Obama were much a lot alike, in that they were both discriminated against, essentially equating [[Kick the Autistic]] with actual racial discrimination. Chris admitted that after watching the [[Wikipedia:A&E Network|A&E]] documentary on Obama and [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]], he decided to vote for Obama because he felt he had more in common with him. In other words, Chris had no interest in or understanding of any of the campaign issues or the candidates' opinions on them.

Chris did a prearranged interview in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']] where he spoke about how he liked Obama and made no mention of painting the White House black.

On New Year's Eve 2009, Chris claimed to have "snail-mailed" Barack Obama asking to make [[homo]] ads on the [[CWCipedia]] illegal, [[Chris and the Law|with involvement from the FBI and jail sentences]].<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu#THAT_DOES_NOT_MATTER</ref>

{{clear}}

==White House gag==
[[Image:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's brilliant political satire in action. See, it's funny, because Bush is known to poke his political rivals with a broom.]]

While still a U.S. Senator, Obama made a cameo appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], featured in one of the multitude of bizarre elevator gags seen as [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ascend to the top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. Inexplicably, the entire White House is contained on the 51st floor, where Obama is painting the exterior black. Below, Senator [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]] (R-AZ), who ran against Obama in the 2008 Presidential race, chides Obama for presuming to redecorate the White House before actually securing the election. Senator [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary Clinton]] (D-NY), who would later become Obama's Secretary of State, and McCain's running mate, then-Alaska Governor [[Wikipedia:Sarah Palin|Sarah Palin]], also look on with annoyance. This page was removed from CWC's site along with the comic pages featuring pornography; the pornographic pages were restored in the Luv Shack, but the Obama page remained removed.

[[Image:barack_OBANA.png|thumb|left|Pretty much how Chris views politics.]]

Curiously, Obama is wearing a [[Wikipedia:kufi|kufi]], which is a traditionally African hat. It is unknown whether Chris included it to emphasize Obama's [[Niggo|African American]] heritage, or if he believes that Obama is secretly a Muslim, in which case he would be wearing a [[Wikipedia:taqiyah (cap)|taqiyah]]. Either way, the fact that Chris included this bit of information betrays his obviously stereotypical view of the then-Senator Obama.

From inside the White House, then-President [[George W. Bush]] (looking a lot like [[Giovanni]]) notices Obama's audacious paintjob, and takes matters into his own hands. Using a broom, he tips over Obama's ladder. The implied extent of Obama's injuries from the fall is left up to the imagination of the reader (and hopefully the Secret Service).

In a rare instance of giving credit for other people's ideas, Chris acknowledges that his father, [[Bob Chandler]], inspired the gag. Whether this is Chris's feeble attempt to integrate his father into his comic, or a weak effort to shift the blame if anyone takes offense, is unclear.

==See also==
*[[George W. Bush]]
*[[Niggos]]

==References==
<references />

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Obama, Barack}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:Dramatic glasses removal

2010-10-28T15:43:18Z

GotAFish: Created page with "Did we really need a new page for this? I thought the section on the Pedo-Glasses page was more than enough. --~~~~"

Did we really need a new page for this? I thought the section on the [[Pedo-Glasses]] page was more than enough. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 08:43, 28 October 2010 (PDT)

Respectable Frames

2010-10-25T23:04:34Z

GotAFish: /* Dramatic glasses removal */

<center>{{#ev:youtube|1Sed9mjXEko}}</center>

{{Quote|My frames are good; [[Chris and Fashion|they look good to me]], and they are the best fit for my lenses anyway.|Chris, [[Mailbag 14#The pedoglasses stay|on his choice in eyewear]].}}

[[Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu on his pedo-glasses - "I think I've picked the wrong frames." Yes, yes you have.]]
[[Image:RapistGlasses.jpg|thumb|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcyNANK5cY It's the Rapist Glasses!]]]

The '''[[Pedo]]-Glasses''', also known as the '''[[Rapist]] Glasses''', are the colloquial names for [[Chris]]'s spectacles, the appearance of which have been described variously as recalling some form of [[sex]]ual deviant, usually along the lines of a [[BlueSpike|child]]-[[Megan|molesting]] [[Savannah Chandler|uncle]]. He began wearing them on 2 February 1998 as said in his [[CWC's Diary|diary]].

==Glasses==
They are double-bridged (to reduce tard breakage) and somewhat oversized, their roundness emphasizing Chris's pudgy face and generally rotund form. The earpieces are connected by a string attachment that nobody under the age of sixty would use. Regardless, Chris has defended his choice of eyewear with the truism that "it helps me see better", although they have remained conspicuously absent from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] for some time.

Often these type of frames and lenses are among the few pairs available by default to a patient at little to no cost if they want to utilize their [[monthly tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] on vision benefits. Of course, many tend to spend some extra cash on a much better pair of frames, but Chris has better things [[Chris and money|to buy]].
{{clear}}

==Dramatic glasses removal==

Chris has been known to emphatically remove his glasses from his face for dramatic effect in his videos, often putting them on just so he can tear them off again, like the manchild version of David Caruso. (For a useful example in context, see his video from [[100 2188|27 May 2010]], where he removes his glasses, puts them back on, and removes them again within the space of less than 30 seconds.)

In various videos Chris also appears to take his glasses off and throw them to the floor. This was particularly common during his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], when the dispute over his identity had him especially wound up — see [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|here]] and [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|here]] for examples. In a [[WeighIn|couple of]] [[FullHouse|videos]] posted in October 2010, it appears Chris has wrapped tape over the bridge of his glasses, showing that all those dramatic removals have finally taken their toll on Chris's frames.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|p9nkN1AHKD0}}</center>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Things Chris has ripped off

2010-10-11T01:17:32Z

GotAFish: Now with slightly less fail

'''''Attention! This page is under construction! What you see now is a preview of the things to come. You are free to add anything you think is relevant, it will be taken into consideration when the revamping will be finished. For discussion, critique and more info, please see the [[Talk:Things Chris has ripped off|talk page]]. Thank you.'''''

{{Quote|I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie.|Chris, [[Mailbag 4#Admission of plagiarism|blatantly admitting to plagiarism]].}}

[[Image:090-CWComicalHug.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL!]]
[[Image:191-sealSchu.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST Seal of Originality]]

As every [[Chris-chan]] [[troll|fan]] is probably aware of, our autistic hero has quite the imagination. But some argue that due to [[stress]] and the mental block that is [[autism]], his powerful and mighty artistic ordeals cannot come to fruition. So he just does what every good TV/book/movie writer does: he goes and steals an enormous amount of shit from other places.

To his credit, plagiarizing isn't easy. After all, how does you grab something that comes from another person's mind, adapt it to your own storyline and make it so that it fits in, without having whatever it is that you stole stand out like an obese retard with a red and blue striped shirt in the middle of a crowd? Being the [[Fail|geinus]] comic book creator that he is, he feels that he doesn't need to bother with details such as a good plot, readability, or even consistency. Just stick in a few [[random-access humor|random-access-humor]] jokes and you got yourselves a new installment in the "[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' Comic Book Series]]." Not resembling ''[[Family Guy]]'' at all, right?

According to Chris, stealing [[copyright]]ed material is fine, as long as you indicate that whatever it is you’re doing is a "[[parody]]" of the original material. In accordance to U.S. copyright law, this is technically true, so this probably means that, unless he decides to make money out of his "artwork," he isn't going to have the law knocking on his door. Besides, we all know he's never going to sell any type of merchandise ever, or even [[Monthly tugboat|make a hard earned buck]] for that matter.

Onward with the list of shit he's stolen:

==Main influences==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===

*His pride and glory "[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]," which, as we all know, is a recolor of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] with [[Pikachu]]'s tail and ears. In his comic book debut he is created when the "[[Perfect Chaos Monster]]" attacks [[CWCville]], which, by the way, is a direct ripoff of the end of ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''.
*His other pride and glory “[[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]” is just [[Amy Rose]] with a Raichu tail.
*Of course, Sonichu’s evil twin brother [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu, Blachu) also comes from the same line of original creativity Chris has got us accustomed to. This [[niggos|darkie]] version of Sonichu is a complete ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow the Hedgehog]].
*The "[[Chaotic Combo]]" is a mesh of ''Sonic'' characters recolored with retarded deformities, and thier name is a copy of the [[Wikipedia:List of Sonic the Hedgehog video game characters#Chaotix|Chaotix]]. Like [[Angelica]] being a white hedgehog that has wings, or [[Punchy Sonichu]] being an Oriental version of [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]].
''For more info, see the [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Pokémon===

*Like the previously mentioned Sonichu and Rosechu characters ripping off Sonic the Hedgehog, they also rip off various [[Pokémon]], mostly Pikachu and Raichu, combined with other Pokémon.
*The character [[Jiggliami]] is a humanoid variation of a Jigglypuff.
*The so-called [[Sonichu Balls]] are designed like various Poké Balls, though they also function like other items.
*[[Sonees]] are also slightly edited Pichu, with a bit of [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Chao]] mixed in.
*Moves. As if ripping off their looks wasn't enough chris also rips off their attacks such as "thunder bolt" or "sky uppercut".
*Many of the cards on Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|Wall of Originals]] are obviously based on character concepts or illustrations from the Pokémon games. (Christian's Maychu, to use one example, imitates the official illustration of the Pokémon Hitmonlee.)

''For more info, see the [[Pokémon#Plagiarism in Sonichu|main article]].''

==Anime==

===''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]''===

{{incomplete}}

*[[Silvana|Silvana's]] origin is very similar to [[Wikipedia:Gatomon|Gatomon]]'s, as both were long separated from their kind and raised by evil villains who made them into their minions. The only difference being that Silvana was given a [[Pickle|penis]].
*[[Ultra Sonichu]]'s Chaotic Remedy is a blatant copy of [[Wikipedia:Patamon#MagnaAngemon|MagnaAngemon's Magna Antidote]] attack.

===[[Wikipedia:Dragon Ball#Anime_series|Dragonball/Z/GT]]===
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s famed attack, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] (later Shin-ye-ha-me-ha), is based on the famed Kamehameha attack.
*The [[Sonichu Balls]], though resembling Poké Balls, seem to function more like the titular Dragonballs, as they are able to grant a wish when all are brought together.
*Ultra Sonichu shares an amazing resemblance to Super Saiyan warriors by flying sky high and kicking ass and all.
*[[Collosal Chan]] is obviously Super Saiyan 4 from ''Dragonball GT''.
*[[Mypoe]] ripped off [[Punchy]]'s tail because it was a "weak spot."

===''[[Excel Saga]]''===

*A veritable hellstorm of shameless rips from this series appears in the ''Sonichu'' comics, in a way nearly as pervasive as Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog, yet comparatively subtler because he steals one-liners and monologues more than characters or storylines.
*...although he does indeed steal characters (like Mypoe and Nabeshin and [[Bagget|the Jerkop Daitenzen]]) from time to time.
*It is also possible that Chris stole the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] from the parody "Nabehameha" from ''Excel Saga'' (which was essentially a Kamehameha attack, except shaped like an afro).

''For more info, see the [[Excel Saga#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|''Gurren Lagann'']]===

*The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a ripoff of a "fanmade" Sonichu named [[Simonchu]] who, in turn, is ripped off from the main character of the series, Simon the Digger.
*It should be noted that Chris has probably never seen ''Gurren Lagann'', and as such misinterpreted several aspects of Simonchu's design that were intended to be referential to Simon: his cape became Simonla's shell, and his Core Drill pendant became a shark's tooth necklace.
*When Chris was forced to kill off Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he promptly created [[Sandy Rosechu]], Simonla's daughter. She is essentially exactly the same design-wise, except she is yellow and has a different hairstyle.

===[[Wikipedia:InuYasha|''InuYasha'']]===
*In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], [[Saramah Rosechu]] pins [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] to a tree, Wes making the statement "Where did this non-sacred tree come from?" This is a "hilarious gag" referring to InuYasha's origin story, wherein he was pinned by an arrow to a cursed tree by priestess/crack shot/vengeful ex-girlfriend [[Wikipedia:List of InuYasha characters#Kikyo|Kikyo]]. Also, with some imagination and enough [[alcohol]], one can see that a cloud in the background in one of the panels is shaped vaguely like InuYasha's head.
*Chris also has a [[Marvey Blaziken|Blaziken]] in his Pokémon team named "Inu Yasha", which was only revealed on the [[CWCipedia]]. It's likely that this is the same Blaziken seen training with Simonla in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], though he is not identified by name in that comic.

===[[Wikipedia:Pretty Cure|''Pretty Cure'']]===

{{quote|"This is so "Pretty Cure"! I'M BACK!"|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]}}

*''Pretty Cure'', unlike [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], is a true [[parody]] that purposefully spoofs the ridiculous costumes, magical schoolgirls, and attack names of other anime series. The [[Chrs-Chan_Pure_Pulse-Jolt_Lance|Chrs-Chan [sic] Pure Pulse Jolt Lance]] (the attack that [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] are able to perform with their combined Hedgehog powers) is stolen from this series, and even though its original counterpart was given a ridiculous name, Chris felt the need to make it sound like some idiot had just mashed some random words into an attack name for his own version. ''Oh wait...''

*Also noteworthy is that Chris copied (and butchered) the pre-attack catch phases and attack poses. Most of these rip-offs occur in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] and [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]].

===''[[Sailor Moon]]''===
*[[Sailor Megtune]], Chris's hideously inappropriate SI Mary Sue for [[Megan]], is based off the various heroines from the series, though the name is based on [[Wikipedia:Sailor Neptune|Sailor Neptune]].
*The [[Dark Mirror Hole]] may be a reference to a number of related ''Sailor Moon'' places/items, including the Black Dream Hole of [[Wikipedia:Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie|''Sailor Moon Super S: The Movie'']], and a mirror-like item from a few episodes of ''Sailor Moon Super Stars'' and the majority of ''Sailor Moon Super S''.
''For more info, see the [[Sailor Moon#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Samurai Pizza Cats===

*In the aforementioned [[random-access humor]] [[ED]] edit, Chris quoted a joke from the US-dubbed version of SPC: "Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED".
*He created the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], which is a ripoff of both Samurai Pizza Cats and Transformers. They make several appearances in the comic to help Sonichu battle the [[Jerkops]].

===Yu-Gi-Oh!===

*[[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband-to-be is depicted as Jack's Knight, a Yu-Gi-Oh! monster, because Chris had no idea what the groom looked like and didn't bother to check. Way to go!
*Chris tends to use various Yu-Gi-Oh terms during his battles ("Trap cards"? Seriously?) and is even depicted using a Duel Disk when dealing with [[Wes Iseli]].
''For more info, see the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Yuu Yuu Hakusho===

*In [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]], Chris mentions the use of a "Curse Shot", fired in the same way main character Yuusuke Urameshi would fire his main attack, the Rei Gun.

===Macross Frontier===

*Chris's infamous drawing of [[Jiggliami]] was copied from a picture by [[Blanca]], who copied the pose from a popular picture of Ranka Lee, one of the major characters of the series.

==Western Animation==

===The Adventures of The American Rabbit===

*Chris ripped many concepts for his [[Love Quest]] and lines from that movie are used in the comics ("I will, thank you father" from the cover of [[Sonichu 0]] is a line uttered by Robert Rabbit).
''For more info, see the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===American Dad===
*Chris has refered to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] as "the Dork of Ages", a phrase taken from the episode "Dungeons and Wagons".

===Aqua Teen Hunger Force===

*The ATHF characters appear in one panel in [[Sonichu 0]], along with Meatwad's old catchprase, "The bun is in your mind".
*Chris (badly) painted one of his Guitar Hero guitars to look like Meatwad's toy guitar.
''For more info, see the [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Beavis and Butt-head===
*Beavis and Butt-head appear in the Time Travel episode in a gag directly stolen from the original cartoon series (although Chris [[Chris and copyright|said "Sorry"]] to Mike Judge).
''For more info, see the [[Beavis and Butt-head#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Darkwing Duck===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of this series' main character – Darkwing Duck.
*The font Chris uses to write "Darkbind" is traced from the show's logo.
*Upon arriving, Darkbind recites a completely bastardized version of Darkwing Duck's trademark entrance speeches. The main change is that the original speeches were filled with tongue-in-cheek irony, while Chris's version is completely serious and unnecessarily pompous.
*Chris calls Darkbind "D.B.", reminiscent of how Darkwing Duck's sidekick Launchpad McQuack calls him "D.W."
*[[Princess Zelina Rosechu]] may be a partial ripoff of Darkwing Duck's girlfriend Morgana McCawber (though this theory is debatable).

===Ed, Edd and Eddy===

*In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris added a huge wall of [[Random-access humor]], including a joke from the episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]: "Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?", originally said by Ed.
*In the video [[CWCFlyingElephants|"CWC's Flying Elephants"]], Chris bashes his head on his bed like a [[retard]], and quotes another line from Ed: "I'm a woodpecker! Except with dirt!"

===Family Guy===

*In [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], Chris meets [[Sammy]], who resembles Peter Griffin, who goes through a series of incidents involving a sequence from Filmation's [[Ghostbusters]].
*In [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]], Chris directly lifts a gag in which a news anchor delivers a serious professional story, then immediately jumps to excited coverage of Spring Break.
*The title of his bizarre rap video, "[[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|iPods Down and Listen Up]]," was lifted from the "Prick Up Your Ears" episode, in which the reverend teaching the high school about abstinence starts his performance by telling the kids, "Put your Walkmans down and listen up."
*At the end of [[Sonichu 10]], Marvey Blaziken tells the reader that "inspiration does not have a schedule." On Family Guy, this exact phrase was spoken by New Brian during the episode "The Man with Two Brians" before he proceeds to sing about farting. Naturally, the phrase referred to New Brian fitting in writing a song (about farting) into his already-busy schedule of helping out the family.
*In Issue 11, one of the baby Rosechus is playing the Virgin Mary in a school play, she says "I'm the Virgin Mary, that's my story and I'm sticking to it." This is said by Joe's wife in one of the Christmas episodes, where she is doing the exact same thing.
''For more info, see the [[Family Guy#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Futurama===

*The time travel plot of episode 16 of [[Sonichu 7]] ("Time Hogs") was stolen from the direct-to-DVD Futurama movie "Bender's Big Score", and this is shamelessly lampshaded by the recolors in the beginning of the episode.

===Ghostbusters (Filmation)===

*Chris's ''Family Guy''-style gag rips off ''The Non-Real Ghostbusters'' created by [[Wikipedia:Filmation|Filmation]].
''For more info, see the [[Ghostbusters#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===He-Man===

*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.5 (preview)]]: [[Beel]] exclaims: "I have the power!" after stealing Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]].

===Home Movies===

*[[Officer Keino]]'s appearance is ripped straight from Coach McGuirk.
*The end of the [[Giant Penis Comic]] special contains gags from the show.

===Inspector Gadget===

*[[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s nemesis, [[Clawdorf]], is (possibly) based on Inspector Gadget's nemesis Dr. Claw, who was also most of the time seen as a dark silhouette. If it's true, it is especially strange, as [[Darkbind]] is based on Darkwing Duck and the Legend of Zelda, not Inspector Gadget.

===Peanuts===

:''Main Article: [[Peanuts]]

===Powerpuff Girls===
*The other half of Blake's origin was stolen from The Powerpuff Girls, as an accidental dose of a foreign chemical gives him his evilness and his blackness. This is lampshaded poorly on the cover to Black Sonichu's introductory issue.

===Ren and Stimpy===

*Sub-episode 6 rips off the Ren & Stimpy Episode "Lair of the Lummox," which Chris even acknowledges (with Ren & Stimpy thinly veiled as "[[Chris_and_copyright|Ben & Stumpy]].")
*At the end of episode 17, there is an advert for "Knothole", boasted as being from the creators of "Log".

===Sealab 2021===

*In the same [[ED]] edit, Chris included a joke from the Sealab 2021 episode "Legend of Baggy Pants": "What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist."

===Smurfs===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] seems to be "inspired" by the character of [http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Wild_Smurf Wild Smurf]. Both live in treehouses. Both swing from vines (although Wild Sonichu's vines swinging comes from ripping off Spider-Man). Both were raised by wild animals. Honestly, the only difference between the two is that Wild Sonichu can actually talk (Wild Smurf communicated in chipmunk sounds more than anything else).

===South Park===

*[[CADD Chef]] is an obvious ripoff of the character Chef.
*Beel has a strong resemblance to South Park's Satan.
''For more info, see the [[South Park#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Space Ghost Coast to Coast===

*The chant uttered by the guardian of the cave in [[Sonichu 3]] ("Anoz aelc amulp oerc ikabmol ah ah!") is one of Zorak's chants ("Lombaki Creo Plomo Pleo Zoma Ah Ah!") spelled backwards and mangled. Chris's original attempts to do spells or chants have [[fail]]ed spectacularly [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic9P93.jpg], so the stolen chant is one of his better ones.

===The Brak Show===

*In the oft-mentioned [[Random-access_humor#Random_ramblings|ED edit]], Chris included 3 lines from [[Adult_Swim|The Brak Show]], all of them from the same episode ("The New Brak"). The episode centers on [[Liquid_Chris|Brak]] dealing with an [[Christian_Weston_Chandler|annoying impostor]] who shamelessly copies everything Brak does - [[Liquid_Chris#Liquid_Saga|sound familiar]]?

===Transformers===

*[[Optimus Prime]] mercilessly killing Decepticon spy [[Sarah Jackson]].
*Various Transformer-types are set to appear in [[Sonichu 9]] Episode 20.
''For more info, see the [[Transformers#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===[[Adult Swim|Tom Goes To The Mayor]]===

*Placing the [[Mayor's Office]] inside the mall is either a reference to this or Chris having terrible priorities.

==Movies and TV shows==

===Gilligan's Island===

*Thurston Howell III and his wife make an appearance in [[Sonichu 8]], hinting at the name of the head of [[4-Cent Garbage]].
{{incomplete}}

===Monty Python===

{{incomplete}}

*When Darkbind Sonichu is fighting the B-Manajerk, a blow for blow copy of the 'Black Knight' sketch from The Holy Grail.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Need I say more?
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: An impromptu "comedic" sequence making "fun" of [[Jimmy Hill]] starts with "And now for something completely different...", contains a collage of photos and drawings reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's artistic experiments, and features a porcupine shouting: "Dinsdale!".

''For more info, see the [[Monty Python#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Spaceballs===

*In the [[Episode 8]] fight between [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris-Chan Sonichu gets his tail singed by a fire blast then exclaims, "You burned my tail! Now it's personal!" before going on the offensive. This is very similar to the scene in the movie [[wikipedia:Spaceballs|"Spaceballs"]] where gun-hating Princess Vespa gets her hair singed by a laser in a firefight and exclaims, "You shot my hair! You son of a bitch!" then proceeds to singlehandedly mow down the attacking Spaceballs with a laser rifle.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYgQXWxJfZE#t=7m44s (''Relevant portion from 7:44 to 8:01'')</ref> While the words aren't identical, he reads the lines with the same cadence and inflection as Vespa's in his [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8|Official Videobook]] clip.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EOCbTSJOI#t=8m06s (''Relevant portion from 8:06 to 8:12'')</ref>

===Carrie===

*Chris's [[The High School Story]] is an amalgamation of Stephen King's Carrie, and Chris' own high school experience. Its main character, Terrah, is bullied and under appreciated, so she kills everyone with her psychic powers. It is safe to assume that Chris saw the movie adaptation of Carrie, and not the book, as it is unimaginable that Chris would ever spend his time on a book without illustrations.

===Power Rangers===

*In [[Sonichu 9]], the CWC-Power Rangers are introduced, but never seen with the sole exception of Kart Megazord.
*[[Silvana]]'s basic existence, back story, and partial appearance are the copied directly from a villain ([[wikipedia:Villains_in_Power_Rangers_in_Space#Astronema|Astronema]]), from ''[[wikipedia:Power_Rangers_in_Space|Power Rangers in Space]]''
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris introduces a new song entitled ''[[Revive Zordon]]'', which displays his wish for the return of the "original" Power Rangers team.

===Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III===

*In page 28 of [[Sonichu 1]], Sonic is quoted saying "Eh... you were expecting maybe, Bugs Bunny?" a direct 'reference' to a line said by one of the non-yawning Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the third movie. The original line was 'Eh... you were expecting maybe, The Addams Family?" It is ironic in this case that of all the lines Chris-Chan could have possibly chosen from the movie, he went ahead to choose one of the most awful, face-palming, gut-wrenchingly bad lines (only second to the even worse line "Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!"), and proceeded to MAKE IT WORSE. Congratulations.

===Saw series===

*Louis Perez, appearing in Sonichu 10 to apprehend [[Inos]] could be named after the character from the Saw franchise (possibly a relative, as Lindsey Perez from the movies is female). Chris has previously stated, that the Saw series is one of his favorite movie franchises in one of the Mailbags. Both characters are black policemen, making the "inspiration" much more likely.
*The execution of the [[Asperpedia]] crew in [[Sonichu 10]] is performed through what equates to elaborate death traps, similar to what is seen in the Saw series. They certainly have more in common with those movies than with anything resembling actual state-sponsored executions.

===Independence Day===

*In the [[Christian Love Day video]], he recited a modified version of the speech that the President makes before making a last stand against the aliens, which shows just how ridiculously corny he can get.

===The Root of All Evil===

*This Comedy Central show featuring Lewis Black as a judge was ripped off in [[Sonichu 10]], where the judge at the trial, named "Slack Lewis," greatly resembles Black.

===The Simpsons===

*The parts of [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s design that were not already cannibalized from Simonla were copied from Lisa Simpson.

===Lethal Weapon 2===

*The exploding toilet death of [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] was ripped off from the 1989 sequel to the 1987 film, ''Lethal Weapon'' and its infamous exploding toilet scene.

===Star Wars===

*While he hasn't ripped it off directly (yet), he once told [[Jackie]] in their e-mail exchanges that he essentially planned to make the backstory of [[Wild Sonichu]] a rip-off of the relationship between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader (Darth Vader being Luke's father turned evil, for the few of you living in caves).

===This is Spinal Tap===

*During the [[Revive Zordon]] performance, the speaker blurts out that the volume is "Cranked up to Eleven." We can only hope Chris ripped this joke off directly rather than referencing something else referencing Spinal Tap.

===Terminator 2===
*Chris's [[Sonichu Special 4|threat on the life of]] [[Liquid Chris]] contains a number of elements from the film:
**The top speed of 65 MPH during the escape scene
**The Terminator shooting an enemy in the legs, saying "He'll live"

==Video Games==

===Banjo Kazooie===

*[[Flame]] the Sunbird is just a very poor drawing of Kazooie, who seems to want pants [[Pok%C3%A9mon#Plagiarism_in_Sonichu|for reasons one can only guess]]. Anyone who enjoyed this game can only thank [[Godjesus]] that Chris doesn't seem to realize that Kazooie is a [[China|girl]].

*In [[Sonichu 9]], [[Sonichu]]'s battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is ripped directly from the final boss fight with Gruntilda. The only differences are that the fireballs are replaced with dark energy and Mary does not fall to her death.

===Legend Of Zelda===

{{incomplete}}

*The characters [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Zelina Rosechu]] are rip-offs of Link and Zelda, the two main characters from the series, alongside being rip-offs of elements from the cartoon series Darkwing Duck, strangely enough.
*The entire subplot about Darkbind and Zelina (involving Zelina being put under a sleeping spell by an [[Clawdorf|evil wizard]]) is taken nearly verbatim from the story of ''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]'' (where the Link from the first game must awaken the original Zelda from a sleeping spell put on her by - you guessed it, an evil wizard).
*The name "[[RuleCWC]]" is a ripoff of Hyrule.
*In the [[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails]], Chris claims that [[Darkbind Sonichu]] was trained in [[RuleCWC]] forest by a "rogue master swordsman" and an owl named King Alistair. These are obvious ripoffs of [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] and [[Wikipedia:Characters_in_The_Legend_of_Zelda_series#Kaepora_Gaebora|Kaepora Gaebora]].
*It's not clear if he's a fan of the series, since while he's compared one of his favorite games ([[Brutal Legend]]) to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, it's likely he simply saw the game was the highest ranking game on GameRankings and other game scoring websites.

===Mobile Suit Gundam===

*During the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew box art for [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]], one of Chris's many fake box arts for his imaginary games. What's unique about this one is that it involves Megan Schroeder and her brother, John. Despite being about Megan, it is not a rape simulator, but instead believed to be a ripoff of Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo.

===Street Fighter===

*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s attack "Hyper Beam" looks a lot like Ryu and Ken's special attack "Hadouken". It appears in [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.7]].
*In [[Sonichu 9]], Sonichu performs a Flash Kick on Slaweel.
*In [[Sonichu Special 4]], [[Kacey]]'s father resembles Guile.

===Super Mario Bros===

{{incomplete}}

Super Mario is a video game series conceived by [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], and has been the mascot of Nintendo for over 20 years. While Sonic has fallen into a self-induced pit of horrifying shit, probably never to escape, Mario has stayed consistently good for all this time. Despite this, Chris very much favors Sonic, as he only has a passing interest in Mario. Perhaps it's the lack of furry material to [[mass debate]] to, the complex level design and puzzles or just the fact that at one time, Mario was the rival of Sonic, probably leaving Chris with some grudge against the series. However, he has enough interest to rip it off from time to time.

*The wing cap ability from Super Mario 64 is ripped off in Sub-Episode 4, where Chris flies around with wings on his head. They are later discarded, and Chris is strangely shown flying without them.
*His concept for Sonic The Hedgehog 64, as expressed in his [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine]], is nothing more than Mario 64 with Sonic and Tails. Literally.

===[[Brutal Legend]]===

*In [[Sonichu 9]], during the introduction of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], [[Armoraxe]] uses a move that looks and acts exactly like the Solo "[[nudes|Face Melter]]" from the game. The only difference is that the move is called "Metal Melter."
*The devil [[trolls]] that appear to carry [[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]] away after he is defeated by [[Sonichu]] seem to be a rip-off of the fans that appear to carry you off when you are defeated during a stage battle in Brutal Legend. This is confirmed by the [[chris|retarded]] phrase written next to the same panel in the comic, "Hmm, What 'Legend' brought these [[fanbase|fans]]?"
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris using the power of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|music]] and [[son-chu|stage]] to destroy the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building may have been inspired by Brutal Legend's Stage Battles. Son-Chu ''does'' turns into a giant stage which resembles Ironheade's megastage, but rather than offer a fair fight Chris just Guitar Heroes his opponents into oblivion instantly.
*[[Simonla]] gives [[Wild Sonichu]] her lucky shark's tooth necklace, similar to when Eddie Riggs gives Ophelia his mother's shark tooth-like necklace in Brutal Legend.

===God of War===

*Page 75, [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]]. [[Collosal Chan]] pulls out lightning bolt versions of Kratos's Blades to fight [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel]].

===PaRappa the Rapper===

*In preparation for the [[Revive Zordon]] performance, Sonichu puts on PaRappa's hat and becomes as flat and two-dimensional as PaRappa (not to mention his own character), then says PaRappa's catchphrase "I gotta believe!"

==Web Original==
===Jessi Slaughter===
*In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris says "The consequences will never be the same," mimicking the famous line "Consequences will never be the same!" from a [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jessi_Slaughter Jessi Slaughter] video. This shows that Chris has at least some awareness of memes, although how many he knows he has spawned is unknown.

==Western Comics==

===Spider-Man===

*[[Wild Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of Spider-Man, a superhero who can shoot long web strings from his hands. He uses these web ropes to swing across the city and entangle his enemies. Also, the scene in the end of Episode 19 ([[Sonichu 9]]) is highly reminiscent of the Spider-Man movie. Similarly, Wild can also climb walls with relative ease, though it's not clear whether he's just a good climber or if he literally clings to walls, as Spider-Man does.

===The Incredible Hulk===

*[[Rosechu]]'s bat shit insane rapist form, now known as the Incredible Lioness, is based off of the Incredible Hulk. While Rosechu didn't turn green (and seeing as she's an [[wikipedia:Abomination_(comics)|abomination]] already, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that she's already bathed in gamma radiation), she gets pissed off when Jason Kendrick Howell launches a pickle at her and she tears him a new one.

==Songs==

{{incomplete}}

*Everything from the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums are sung over another song; this may be Chris's biggest showing of plagiarism yet, aside from [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]].
*[[Jiggliami]]'s song, "War of Love," is a ripoff of "Love Is War," a Supercell song using [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Miku Hatsune]] for vocals. While Blanca wrote the ripoff, Chris was more than willing to use it in [[Sonichu 8]].

===Tommy Tutone===

*The product number for [[John's Custom Gundam]] is [[Wikipedia:867-5309/Jenny|8675309]].

==List of fiction Chris has referenced and otherwise bastardized==

While Chris's [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] is chock full of shameless ripoffs and copyright infringements, there are some references to works of fiction which can't be actually considered "ripping off", but manage to ruin the franchise in question nevertheless, for the sole fact of being referenced in [[Sonichu]]. These are mostly instances of Chris either including a minor reference to a work of fiction, or just mentioning it, in his comics. While it's not considered a crime ''de jure'', it still may be called a crime against humanity, whose culture Chris has thus bastardized.

''Note that when such minor references concern works or franchises already listed in the main ripoff list above, they're added there, not here. It was done so that it would be easier to see how much has Chris managed to bastardize each franchise.''

*'''[[Wikipedia:Batman|Batman]]:''' [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|S8 Ep17 p.35]]: Batman's portrait is hanging on the wall of the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]] for some completely mysterious reason.

*'''[[Bugs Bunny]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Episode 6|S1 Ep6 p.28]]: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] says to the startled [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik]]: "Eh... You were expecting, maybe Bugs Bunny?"
:*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: Bugs himself appears in the Monty Python-esque collage, lecturing the toothless photograph of [[Jimmy Hill]] (who was implied to have sold counterfeit Warner Bros. merchandise in the past) on the evils of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]].

*'''[[Wikipedia:Dig Dug|Dig Dug]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.12]]: [[Simonla]]'s screen name is "DigDugette416".
:*Later, on [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.17]], [[Layla]] jokes that Simonla only needs a pump to "fully dig the dug", whatever that means.

*'''[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]] and [[Wikipedia:Chuck Palahniuk|Chuck Palahniuk]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-4]]: [[Hanna]] tells Chris that she likes reading books by "Chuck Pala[[duck]]" (sic), who is also (according to Chris's footnote) "[[Fail|the director]] of the movie "Fight Club" (well, maybe he believes that [[Wikipedia:David Fincher|David Fincher]] is just Chuck's alternate personality?)... Yes, "Chuck Pala'''[[duck]]'''".
:*If Chris has actually seen the movie, it may be the influence behind [[30 August 2009|"Christopher"]].

*'''[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto|Grand Theft Auto]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] orders: "[[Beel]]! Prepare for Grand Theft [[Medallion of Fail|Medal]]!"

*'''[[Guitar Hero]]:'''
{{incomplete}}

*'''[[LittleBigPlanet]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: For no reason at all, Sackboy appears at the bottom of the page and recites an anti-pirate advertisement for "LittleBigPlanet" and Chris's [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|Level of Fail]].

*'''[[R.L.Stine]]:'''
{{incomplete}}

*'''[[Sprung]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-5]]: Chris is shown playing "Sprung" on his Nintendo DS for dating tips before going on a date with [[Hanna]]. He reads the infamous "So, do angels have names?" compliment and notes that it "sounds right".

*'''[[wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde:]]''' [[Magical Man Potion]]: Chris drinks a [[Semen|magical concoction]] and transforms into an entirely different [[troll|being]], before reverting to his own self. Due to the fact that the transformation is "from [[Chris|bumbling]] to [[Liquid Chris|suave]]" rather than "from [[Chris and religion|moral]] to [[Death threats|cruel]]", as well as the extreme unlikelihood of him knowing classical Scottish literature, he probably stole the concept from [[wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|The Nutty Professor]], a derivative work of Jekyll and Hyde.

*'''[[Wikipedia:B-Daman|B-Daman]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Episode6|S1 Ep6 p.32]]: Sonic curls up into a ball and enters a pocket of whatever in Sonichu's stomach, upon which Sonichu fires him out at Metal Sonichu which also is the form of a ball. At first, this looks like a reference to balls, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a ripoff of the Japanese Anime and Toy series B-Daman, which involves small cute robot-like characters firing balls out of their stomachs at other balls.

*'''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]:''' Both within the comics and in his real life presentations, he uses the phrase "Captains Log" a reference to the opening of most Star Trek episodes and movies. He's never seen anything of the franchise, not even the new movie most likely, but he felt the need to rip it off anyway. That's Chris for you.

==The tl;dr Version==

At this point, it's almost easier to list the beloved franchises Chris ''hasn't'' ruined.

==References==
<references />

==See also:==

*[[Chris and copyright]]
*[[List of phrases Chris copied from media]]

[[Category:Articles needing improvement]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Attraction Sign

2010-09-18T10:03:49Z

GotAFish: /* Rebuild of Attraction Sign 1.0: You can (not) get laid */

{{quote|The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he [Chris] could ever fucking think of|Chris, on his own [[ED]] page, 10 November 2007 edit<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465</ref>}}
[[Image:Comicbook-Sign.png|thumb|left|An artist's rendition of the sign.]]
[[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]]

[[Chris]] used an '''attraction sign''' during his [[love quest]] to get the attention of women. Chris thought it was a bullet-proof technique of attracting a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]. Surprisingly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly]] manchild soliciting with something called an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on [[boyfriend-free girls|the ladies]].

==Attraction Sign, Mark 1==
The original attraction sign, created when Chris first started his love quest at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and lulzy of them all.
----
[[Image:511-JumboLoveQuestSign.JPG|thumb|The original Attraction Sign]]
:''21 and Single White Male...''
:''-Shy -[[Honor roll|Smart]] -[[Autism|Young at Heart]] -[[CADD|Computer skilled]]''
:''-[[Random access_humor|Humorous]] -A great [[Things Chris has ripped off|thinker]] and [[Monthly tugboat|go-getter]] -[[Cutco|"Natural salesperson"]] -Enjoys [[China|good parts of life]]''
:''-[[Death threats|Diplomatic]] -[[White_knight#Chris_made_himself_an_outcast|Friendly]] -Loves [[Cole Smithey|his family]] -[[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] -[[Chris and Copyright|Very creative]] -_[[Virgin with rage|He's lonely]]_''
----
:''...Seeking a CUTE ♀18-21 [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION]]''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>18-21 years of age <nowiki>*</nowiki>does _not_ already have a boyfriend <nowiki>*</nowiki>Single''
:''-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -[[Chris and race|White]] -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>Does NOT [[Tobacky|Smoke]] or Drink [[Alcohol]] -Happy, Positive Personality''
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle''
[image of Sonichu's face]© ➨
----
:''If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...''
:''[[Homos|MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!]]''
:''(And to all [[Jerks| MEN with girlfriends]], except marrieds and [[Niggos|blacks]], go jump off a cliff)''
:''Have a nice day ☺''

==The Attraction Sign, throughout the ages==

One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating a [[MySpace]] and Facebook, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
Image:137-NDSAttractop.jpg|Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a Nintendo DS.
Image:135-LoveSearchBookCover.jpg|Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls.
Image:133-Sign.jpg|Sign from age 23.
Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign.
Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card.
</gallery></center>

It is also known that, after the loss of his sign at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], he resorted to Post-It Notes stuck to his glasses and walking uncomfortably close to girls. This did not last long either.

==Good night, sweet prince==

Sadly, the Attraction Sign of Fail is no more.

{{quote|During all this, I learned from my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] that the sign made me look [[slow in the mind|retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|Wikipedia autobiography]]}}

==Rebuild of Attraction Sign 1.0: You can (not) get laid ==

By [[Fridays After Five|June 2010]], Chris devolved to wearing a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing his [[Muscle bra|bra]] saying "Want Woman!" over his flabby gut, thus showing that he's not even trying anymore. While less pleasant and more direct than the attraction signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to women what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.

A few weeks later, on July 4th, Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several trolls to assume Chris was beginning to turn into a caveman.

Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] once more. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that he shouldn't show children his sports bra. Hilarity can be expected to ensue if this behavior continues.

On July 16th, Chris again terrorized the poor women of Charlottesville at the [[Fridays After Five]] gathering, with a new sign that read "[[Homos|Friendly and Flirty Man Zone]]". He also employed a portable mini fan and a hula hoop, in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. '''Spoiler Alert:''' [[fail|It didn't work]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Attraction Location]]
* [[Red String of Fate]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-07T20:46:07Z

GotAFish: It is most definitely a new one

[[File:Haters.jpg|thumb|right|120px|Indeed!]]
'''Haters Gonna Hate''' is a video released on 6 [[September 2010]]. In it, a smug [[Chris]] dismisses the various rumors about his death, and announces that he's going to distance himself from the [[trolls]] and the [[Internet]] ([[Chris_and_the_internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|again]]).

This video marks the return of the [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]] after being missing for half the year, and Chris prominently displays his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]] in classic fashion at the opening of the video. Also, following the [[PS3]] destruction videos, there's a new PS3 on the top shelf, next to the [[television]].
{{clear}}
== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Haters gonna hate.mov
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N3KX-1o2WRU}}
| stardate = 6 September 2010
| style = {{smug|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| shirt = {{PlainOrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ItIsFinished.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

[[image:PS3Alive.png|thumb|''I feel fantastic, and I'm still alive.'']]

''*[[sigh]]*'' September... ''[counting under his breath]'' 4..5...[[Speech impediment|''sits'']]! Two thousand ten.

I am ''not'' [[dead]]. ''[dramatic [[glasses]] removal]'' I am very much alive, [[Chris and health|healthy and well]]! And I aims to keep it that way, so don't believe any god damn rumors from the dang trolls, 'cause you know they alls gonna be falsified. ''[pause]'' And I'll tell ya'll something else - [[Patti Chandler|Patti]] ain't dug up! She's still underground! All them trolls are doing between their forum and what they lie- what they spread about and their dang rumors, is just blowin a bunch of [[Tobacky|''smoke'']]. ''[pause]'' So, what do you ''[mumbles]'' so do you- should you believe a whole bunch of smoke? No. Because all there is with the smoke is just a bunch of ''[mumbles]'' it's just a fire of web [[lies]].

''[Long pause]''

So there. ''[Pause]'' And also, I am going to ignore the trolls and they are not going to bother me anymore. I am regaining control of my life. They have played with me tur-lo- for long enough and they're not gonna play with me anymore; I'm not going to let them. And also I will say another thing. ''[Starts digging into his pocket, fishing out some sort of string]'' Haters. ''[Twirls string]'' Are gonna. Hate. Pew! ''[Throws it, turns off camera]'' {{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Captain's Log}}

Talk:ItIsFinished.MOV

2010-08-31T01:25:19Z

GotAFish:

I'll transcribe this. BITCH? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 11:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

I noticed a white box on the end of the line up of PS3 bits. Was that Chris's Wii as well?[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 12:15, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

I think its just a part of the PS3 --[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 12:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

No, it appears to be too large to be a Wii.--[[User:Black Lotus|Black Lotus]] 12:22, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Tune in tomorrow folks as our hero Chris-Chan, goes to Gamestop and buys another PS3 [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
: I wonder if the "heckler" thing has anything to do with Seinfeld. --[[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko]] 12:29, 30 August 2010 (PDT)DonnieDarko

== What about his games? ==

One thing to mention here is that he didn't destroy his collection of PS3 games along with his PS3, so it's very well possible he purchased a new PS3 (He also saved the cover to his old PS3 which could also be a big hint). [[User:Victor Charlie|Victor Charlie]] 16:02, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

==3 hard drives==
He fucked up the memory for 3 hard drives? [[User:DrewPickles|DrewPickles]] 18:17, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:No, one was his original drive and the other two were ones he bought as upgrades. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 18:25, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

2009

2010-08-28T19:07:05Z

GotAFish: /* January */

[[Image:2009.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (red) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (blue). '''2009''' is marked in Mellow Yellow.]]
[[Image:How-to-talk-to-girls-cover.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[How to Talk to Girls|literary pick of the year]].]]

Throughout '''2009''', the life of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] became unreal and semi-controlled, facilitated by the apparent lack of know-how and interest in his life from his parents. The first, unsmooth, wave of [[trolls|trolling]] from [[2008]] was replaced by a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|more organized]], [[CWCki|more obsessive]] and more complex second wave, leading to far-reaching insight into Chris's life, and [[sex tape|things]] we can never unsee.

==January==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[January 2009]]''', Chris [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|crushed his vibrator]] to show that he is straight]]

{{main|January 2009}}
Chris spent most of his time in January under the assumption that [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] of [[Nintendo]] were in regular contact with him, arranging a partnership to create a series of [[video games]] based on [[Sonichu]] and asking Chris about his background. During this month, Chris's [[Sonichu.net]] website would be hacked, causing him to abandon it and launch [[Sonichu.info]], which was then also immediately hacked. Chris also completed the long-awaited Spring Break feature of ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', after being prompted by the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]]. Ryan's brother [[Clyde Cash]] would emerge later this month, blaming Chris for Ryan's death and threatening to seek revenge. In time, both the Miyamoto saga and the website hacking would be attributed to the master plan of Clyde and his [[The Miscreants|secret organization bent on ruining Chris's life]], giving Chris an archenemy to rail against.

==February==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|In '''[[February 2009]]''', footage was leaked of Chris and [[Kimmi]] having an intimate moment.]]
{{main|February 2009}}

February saw several transitions for our hero. His online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], who supposedly lived in South Australia, ended when he decided she was killed by brushfires. However, Chris would quickly bounce back, winning the heart of [[Julie]] in a relationship that would elicit [[For Julie's Eyes Only|far more disturbing revelations]]. That the trolls posing as Nintendo officials very nearly tricked him into traveling to Redmond taught him nothing, though. By the end of February Chris really did travel all the way to Cleveland, Ohio in a futile effort to visit Julie.

==March==
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[March 2009]]''', Chris gave us a tour of his [[house]].]]
{{main|March 2009}}

March began with the conclusion of the Julie saga, when Julie revealed to Chris that she was actually a 13-year-old boy known as [[BlueSpike]]. Chris didn't let this put him down, though, and shortly after this fiasco got in touch with [[Emily]]. His short relationship with her climaxed during a date at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where Chris was accompanied by his [[Bob|father]], however the date ended abruptly when Emily was taken away by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. March ended with Chris finding himself yet another sweetheart, [[Ivy]], and during the month's last week he produced several videos that he dedicated to her. Leading up to the last days of March, Chris also started showing more and more [[rage]] towards Clyde Cash, and in the end even announced that he would leave [[YouTube]] forever.

==April==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|In '''[[April 2009]]''' footage is leaked of Chris wearing [[butt garments]].]]
{{main|April 2009}}

Throughout April, Chris was strongly in love with his [[sweetheart]] Ivy. Although previously stating that he would quit YouTube forever, Chris returned to making videos within 10 days of his departure. He uploaded several videos for Ivy, and also drew her a few comics; the new material showed more and more of Chris's [[sex]]ually deviant side. As April continued, Chris was suddenly caught up in yet another scandal, as audio emerged of him having cyber-sex with a troll posing as movie star [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Chris showed great remorse towards Ivy for his behavior, and attempted to turn the tables by [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|proposing marriage]]. April ended with Chris in a severely disturbed relationship, doing all he could to cling to his latest sweetheart.

==May==
[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[May 2009]]''', Chris is [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for an hero]].]]
{{main|May 2009}}

As May began, Chris still held a strong belief in his relationship with Ivy, and during the first two weeks uploaded even more videos dedicated to her. As a result, a number of mainstream media, including a TV series and talk-radio show, featured Chris, revealing his bizarre behavior to a massive new audience. Soon things took another bad turn for Chris, when he found out that Ivy (surprise, surprise) was actually a troll. Thanks to this disappointment, during the last weeks of May, Chris decided to return to his earlier methods of pursuing a romantic relationship and started going out in public again.

==June==
[[Image:CWCipedia_Introduction.jpg|thumb|In '''[[June 2009]]''', Chris starts working on his own [[CWCipedia|wiki]].]]
{{main|June 2009}}

In June, despite his 15 minutes of fame in May, Chris returned to relatively minor presence on the [[Internet]]. A few [[trolls|field agents]] befriended Chris, however, and started taking him out to bars. Several videos were leaked showing Chris enjoying the night-life with the trolls, and some footage even revealed that Chris had taken up drinking [[alcohol]], a habit that he claimed to detest before actually giving it a try. In June Chris also began using [[CWCipedia]], a sub-site of the [[CWCki]], as his own site. Slowly Chris began writing original articles, thus adding tons of information about his life and philosophy that was unavailable beforehand.

== Julay ==
[[File:Chris1.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[July 2009]]''', Chris is [[Two's company snapshots|spotted with a female]].]]
{{main|July 2009}}

In July Chris apparently continues his newfound, somewhat wilder, lifestyle, and more footage is leaked of Chris's activities in real life. Several photographs appear of him going to a bar with a heavy girl, and later on a video is shown of Chris hanging around in [[Charlottesville]]. As the month goes on, Chris suddenly takes interest in the saving of [[Charlottesville]]'s [[McIntire Park]]; Chris manages to get himself on TV two times by behaving retardedly, but nobody really cares. Halfway through the month, the man known only as [[Liquid Chris]] appears on YouTube, claiming that he is the [[copyright]] holder of Sonichu, and that he is the real Christian Chandler. Chris doesn't take lightly to this threat, and as July draws to a close, the situation becomes grimmer and grimmer. On the last days of July, Chris initiates the [[SingStar Challenge]], a singing competition that should determine who is the real Chris-Chan.

==August==
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|In '''[[August 2009]]''', [[Liquid Chris]] responds to Chris's [[SingStar Challenge]].]]
{{main|August 2009}}

The first half of August is mainly filled with a large war between Chris and Liquid Chris about who is the real Christian Weston Chandler, but it is also slowly becoming apparent that Chris has his eyes on Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. Eventually Liquid backs off, and Chris has time to work on his comics again. As August draws to an end, however, [[Bob]] starts to complain to Chris about [[Tour of Chris's House|video footage]] of the messy Chandler [[house]]hold being on the Internet, fearing that the city housing association could put them out of their house. Chris tries his best to take these videos down, but the more he pleads, the more the videos are actually spread; eventually, Bob shouts at Chris for his incompetence - online. August ends with a short-lived attempt of Chris to get the trolls to believe that he has a split personality.

==September==
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[September 2009]]''', Chris puts two of his [[gitar]]s on [[eBay]].]]
{{main|September 2009}}
September started with a small feud between Chris and the troll [[Vivian Gee]], who created the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Audiobooks]] and used to be his friend; the argument would end within a week with Chris throwing a fit, and Vivian mock-deleting her videos. Halfway through the month, however, Chris decided to upload a long series of ''Sonichu'' [[Videobooks]], in which he read the comics on film. This effort would take up pretty much all of Chris's time until it was finished near the 20th. The last weeks of September would be filled with Chris raging at the trolls, most notably Clyde Cash and [[Gregg Mays]].

==October==
[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|In '''[[October 2009]]''', Chris buys his first "[[muscle bra]]".]]
{{main|October 2009}}

The first two weeks of October were mainly filled with Chris raging at trolls and trying to dispel rumors that he was [[gay]]. Halfway the month, however, Liquid Chris re-emerged, and Chris shifted some of his attention back to his old enemy. The last half of the month was filled with Chris raging at Liquid, and him trying to take away Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey, by showing his strength. However, Chris also took his time to unfold a complex and mysterious attempt at blackmailing Clyde Cash.

==November==
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|left|In '''November 2009''' Chris notices ads like this on his website.]]
{{main|November 2009}}

Chris opened the month of November with a bang, uploading a staggeringly tone-deaf parody of the September 11 [[terrorist]] attacks to YouTube as part of his abortive campaign to blackmail Clyde Cash. This outrage was soon overshadowed by the total collapse of his relationship with Kacey, as chronicled in a pair of leaked phone calls that showed Chris at his desperate, dishonest, sniveling worst. However, he recovered from these setbacks with aplomb - after acquiring what he believes is an official government seal of approval for Sonichu's copyright, Chris once again embarked on his quest to turn the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] into a multimedia empire. Towards the end of the month, Chris began to update the comic on an almost daily basis and answering the [[Mailbag]] on CWCipedia.

==December==
[[Image:RapeRap.JPG|thumb|In '''[[December 2009]]''' Chris spits a rape rap.]]
{{main|December 2009}}

Chris started the month answering the Mailbag, but with shorter, less-enthusiastic answers. He also created additional "rejected" mail to handle questions that made him feel uncomfortable - namely, those dealing with homosexuality and [[autism]]. He would also publish a vitriolic screed against people with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] and upload several disturbing YouTube videos. Unflattering photos of him appeared on a Times Square Billboard, mostly real pictures of him drinking his [[semen]], and he was also further infuriated by increasingly explicit pro-gay banner ads which appeared on CWCipedia, prompting him to write a letter to President [[Barack Obama]] requesting that the gay ads be made illegal. After more than one year in making, ''[[Sonichu 9]]'' was finally completed.

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

User:Cogsdev/Cwc.wad

2010-08-06T21:22:58Z

GotAFish: Fixed quotes to reflect the latest version

'''cwc.wad''' is a PWAD for id software's classic shooter ''DOOM''. It replaces all the enemy sound effects with [[Chris-chan]] quotes. Features coming soon include [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|CUSTOM MSPAINTED]] sprites, multiple [[troll]]-themed player classes and other [[Chris]]-related goodies. Planning and discussion of planning takes place '''[[fan:cwc.wad/Planning|here]]'''.

== Story ==
=== Invasion ===
Doctor Andes paced back and forth in the laboratory. He was alone. Everyone else had left the labs. They would work on the artefact tomorrow. But Dr. Andes was determined to unlock its secrets. It was a square tablet, about an inch and a half thick, with four arrows on one side, all pointing away from the circle in the middle and towards the tablet's edges. Dr. Gowen was convinced it was some sort of device, and Dr. Hammer believed it originated from Earth. Dr. Andes didn't know what to think. The other artefacts they'd recovered were simple objects with no special properties. This could have been the same way and would have already been archived away were it not for the curious fact that all scans on it failed. Nothing could get any information from it. Dr. Andes thought that it could be some sort of capsule that crashed into Phobos, and so was desperate to open it. Finally, frustrated by his lack of progress, he said "Open sesame!" Unfortunately, he was ill. His voice wasn't as steady as it should have been. If he hadn't accidentally uttered "Open says-a-me", our galaxy might have been spared the coming storm. But the artefact reacted. It threw Dr. Andes to the floor, and light burst forth from it. The very fabric of reality was torn asunder as a great swirling vortex erupted from the centre of the tablet.

And so it begins...
=== Reaction ===
The silencing of the Mars colonies did not go unnoticed. The United Aerospace Corporation had huge sums of money invested in their labs on Mars and its two moons. They quickly used the last data files sent from Phobos to identify their foes and form a team to combat them. Ancient secrets from before the New Dark Ages, the mysterious secret societies of the Datalinks, the illegal practices of various underground scientists. All were brought together to create a top-secret spaceship, codenamed "'''CRACKDER'''". The spaceship was a heavily armoured carrier ship, outfitted with experimental teleporter prototypes and the latest in cloning technology. The ship was loaded with a crew of specialists and a cargo of cloning samples and equipment fabricators. It was designed to land on a planet or moon while resisting heavy fire, clone a group of warriors, outfit them with appropriate gear and then teleport them to their target. But who would the ship clone? Who could possibly combat this mysterious menace? The answers lie below...

== Characters ==
todo: get artwork of characters, learn to do wiki formatting to make it pretty, write character descriptions.
=== Bob Chandler ===
slower, more health. minimum health needed to run is very high due to his age.
=== Cole Smithey ===
faster, less health. can run regardless of current health.
=== The Man in the Pickle Suit ===
need ideas. currently, is just like the marine, but starts with a chaingun and more bullets.
=== Clyde Cash ===
has a slander ray that turns monsters into gay men(immobile, do not attack) for 10 seconds and players into hard gay(can only attack with pelvic thrusts) for 30 seconds. not sure what kind of ammo the slander ray should use, cells?
=== Mary Lee Walsh ===
has her sceptre, which fires fast purple projectiles(like the starting wand from heretic) at no ammo cost. considering lowering her health and giving her a variety of wands, maybe a running speed increase but not a sidestep or walking speed increase.
=== Roach ===
has a mute button weapon, that can silence enemies for a set period of time, preventing them from firing(and maybe making any sounds, if i can figure out how to do that). will have to find a way to prevent an enemy being chain-silenced, or this will be stupidly overpowered.

==Enemy quotes==
===Zombies===
*"You're going DOWN!" (sighting 1)
*"IT'S TIME TO FACE FACTS, MISTER" (sighting 2)
*"I am not a pedofork, you dork!" (sighting 3)
*"IN DA EAAAGH" (death 1)
*"Don't you ever do that again, you bastard!" (death 2)
*"I was tricked, I was betrayed..." (death 3)

===Imp===
*"YOU ARE DEAAAAAAD" (sighting 1)
*"MY NAME IS NOT IAN... BRANDON... SOMETHING!" (sighting 2)
*"R-E-S-T-E-D-C" (wandering)
*<nowiki>*</nowiki>grunts<nowiki>*</nowiki> (death 1)
*"I can feel the cosmos!" (death 2)

===Demon/spectre===
*"Let's go Ghostbusters, let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" (sighting)
*"Oh my axles, I lost my axles!" (death)

===Lost soul===
*"SHOW MY FANGS!" (attack)

===Revenant===
*"BACK THE FUCK OFF!" (sighting)
*"I will come down AT you" (wandering)
*"I'm gay, I'm gay." (death)

===Cacodemon===
*"You are such a cowardly naive bastard!" (sighting)
*"And don't you forget it!" (death)

===Pain elemental===
*"Hi Ivy!" (sighting)
*"Oh is that all you got?" (pain)
*"She is real!" (death)

===Arachnotron===
*"DIIIIIIEEEE YOUUUU" (sighting)
*"I've got a goddamn motherfucking six-inch cock with four-inch di-a-me-ter bawllls!" (wandering)
*"Bring the Sonichu idea to fruition!" (death)

===Hell knight===
*"I am a warrior for true love and honesty!" (sighting)
*"You've lost my respect!" (death)

===Mancubus===
*"Mass murder makes me happy! Dead bodies make me happy!" (sighting)
*"NO, NO!" (pain)
*"JIMMUH HIWW" (attack)
*"Dunn dunn dunnnnn" (death)

===Archvile===
*"And you know what else else?" (sighting)
*"I understand the ladies." (wandering)
*"''You're'' the shithead!" (pain)
*"FRIVOUS, LUCRID ADULTERY!" (death)

===Baron of Hell===
*"STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH" (sighting)
*"Those damn slanderous trolls!" (death)

===Spider Mastermind===
*"Julie!" (sighting)
*"JUUUUUULAAAAAAAYYYYYYY" (death)

===Cyberdemon===
*"I AM GOING TO SHOVE YOUR ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!" (sighting)
*<nowiki>*</nowiki>Chris orgasms<nowiki>*</nowiki> (death)

===Wolfenstein SS===
*"I ''hate'' the homos. (sighting)
*"I am straight-eh." (death)

===Commander Keen===
*"Boobies, vaginas." (pain)
*"Mmmmm... gorgeous." (death)

== Download & Installation ==
todo: write up how to install and where to get. probably have to wait until the thing's done. for those interested, check out the thread in pvcc troll productions, and zdoom.org

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Fan]]

CWCipedia

2010-07-16T00:17:31Z

GotAFish: Past tense and other misc. edits

{{Honest}}

{{quote|Abandon hope all ye who enter here.|From Dante's Divine Comedy, eerily summing up CWCipedia}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]]]]

'''CWCipedia''' (4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010) (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris had more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of the use of MediaWiki software and software usability, in that it strove to create a platform that even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. Of course, Chris, being a retarded fuckface, still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris had a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article, he ended up going off on a rant explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This led into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he had in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow led to a fantastically retarded idea for a Pokémon game system that was basically just the holographic projectors from [[Yu-Gi-Oh]], except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery, he got back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Several months after Chris began using the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of CWCville, and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it gets on a daily basis and the profusion of large files held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its TRUE and LOYAL [[fans]], the Sysop that maintains the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris makes '''NO''' money from the advertisement revenue. All of it goes to keeping CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1000, qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the homoerotic ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy exists in CWCipedia either). Even though it may have been tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seemed limited. You can buy a [[PS3]] for you ''and'' your friend with €1000. Or buy three [[Hex Bawx|Hex-Boxes]]. Or four Wiis. Who ''would'' pass up such an opportunity?

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, which was previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for the his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, scolded Chris, telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. In the message he said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. To put this in perspective, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], [[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]] and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He took his self-bestowed title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]] to an absolute extreme, posting the following message to CWCipedia:
{{quote| I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] will receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris has no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 01 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" (in text, later converted to a jpeg) and featuring a picture of a man releasing his [[navy]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, even though he has a [[Homos|giant homophobic ass]].

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia advertisement gallery. ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the Facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the facinating world of Mexico]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No Joke]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies"]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Could.]] [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice]].
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] Approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|Comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"Life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]]
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK DON'T TELL]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]]
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High Functioning Autistics
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the middle east]]
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]]
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a Pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz]
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]]
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, 'gay and Christian'? It's not possible... or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.

</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}

On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later Chris would create a special page for the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Twitter Twitter] feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his fans with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Sysop later put to the feed to the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10]]

During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, serious consequences could happen.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having learned a little first-hand regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he was completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his website of fail.

Within a few days the site was returned to normal.

===CWCipedia closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a DMCA request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5_February_2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of "[[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]." The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. "Sonichu Revolution" continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from [[Fan: Moon-Pals|Sean]] imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. The next day, CWCipedia vanished for a couple of minutes for unknown reasons. Likely due to Wild and Simonla's [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]]. When it returned, for a few days visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10]].

===CWCipedia closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into March 2010, Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[the Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new Sonichu comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for 100 dollars. Since Chris was the captain, he decided to sail the U.S.S. CWCipedia into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===[[CWCipedia vandalism|CWCipedia opened for everybody]]===
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]

A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu." Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

===CWCipedia closed to outside edits again===
Early on 22 March, the Sysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However, much of the pictoral vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to the Sysop skipping them over or not caring.

===Broken dead===

During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|true and honest]] version created by [[Mao]] is still up and running.

===Resurrection===

Whether it was through coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the Easter weekend just so an autistic manchild can carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he feels like it for his [[Trolls|fans]].

===Traitorous mutiny===

On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as true and honest as they first appeared, as it involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], Sandy getting hit by a car, Wild committing suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survived, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovered the vandalization and replaced all of the images with a disclaimer that work on Sonichu 11 was ongoing. He then called out on the Sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her. He then ranted about how he would find peace off the internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the internet]]... [[Lie|again]]. (SPOILER ALERT: He didn't.)

===A new face===

{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes. What he means by this is currently unknown.}}

On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===

On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and ''[[Sonichu 11]]'' had the not TRUE and not HONEST comic pages back up.

==CWCipedia abandoned and revived==

Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a message in a recent video]], declared the CWCipedia abandoned:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.]]

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the internet.

[[List of Chris's lies|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia became perfect breeding grounds for [[duck|dicks]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|PINGAS]]. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Hamsty the Hamster]], the CWCipedia was revived and [[Sonichu Season 2|a new season of ''Sonichu'']] began.

==Return of the Captain?==

On 4 June 2010, over a week after he abandoned the CWCipedia, Chris seemingly returned to the CWCipedia, writing in his Captain's Log that he's taking back the CWCipedia from those "D*** trolls". However, if you had read his TRUE and HONEST FAQ, you would've noticed that it was just another trolling attempt.

==The end==

On 26 June 2010, the CWCipedia (or Sonichu Fans Wiki, as it had been called by its [[Asperpedia|new owners]]) was finally terminated. Fortunately, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page a copy of the site as it was before the vandalism and takeover] was kept so future generations can witness the monster of [[fail]] that was the CWCipedia.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]</s> '''DELETED'''
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (pre-vandalism)]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

File talk:BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.jpg

2010-07-04T03:36:01Z

GotAFish: Created page with 'Why the hell does Chris have muscles? Shouldn't his arms be flabby and featureless? --~~~~'

Why the hell does Chris have muscles? Shouldn't his arms be flabby and featureless? --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 03:36, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and electronics

2010-06-16T06:11:17Z

GotAFish:

I dunno if this needs deletion, but it definitely needs to either get bigger or get zapped. The part about Chris's shit computer is really the only useful bit, the rest is just rehashed from other pages. Lemme at least add one thing that I was thinking about lately... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:07, 25 March 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I didn't get to explain why. We need a citation of what his computer is, and frankly do we need a thing on 'netiquette"? And getting rid of that, do we need an article article on how Chris uses his computer? This could just go in the FAQ, really. The rest is just fluff. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

I'd like to know just how much of his internet usage is on that actual computer, and how much is off the PS3 (or even PSP)--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 19:03, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

==Piracy?==
This section provides phantom sources in support of nothing in particular. There is no information here regarding what Chris has torrented or how frequently he does it, and simply asserts that he knows how. It's single specific example, Photoshop, is based on extremely shaking reasoning: Chris is too cheap to pay for Photoshop, therefore he stole it? Please. First of all, it could be a gift. Secondly, he absolutely would pay for it, because he gets free money, has only one inflexible expense ("rent"), is not a saver, and because producing Sonichu (with Photoshop) is one of the few activities he bothers to perform. In other words, this section needs to go even if someone thinks the article can be saved. --[[User:Homeless prophet|Homeless prophet]] 06:01, 16 June 2010 (UTC)
:I don't know about you guys, but I think Chris uses MS Paint, not Photoshop. I was looking at the videos he made under the "ClydeGreggCashMays" account and it looks more like he's using MS Paint. What does everyone else think? --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 06:11, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Homos

2010-05-31T08:54:28Z

GotAFish: /* TARD LOGIC */

==To do==
*All of Chris's quotes asserting his heterosexuality
*Picture of Chris in his mom's underwear
*His comments against homos

==Expand to include Lesbians?==
This could be the topic of a separate article, but how would you people feel about including lesbians into this one? It's an interesting evolution of Chris's ideas. Originally, Chris was perfectly fine with lesbians, as he'd only have male homosexuals jailed and programmed whiled lesbians would be safe. Obviously, the reason why Chris likes lesbians is because they don't make him question his sexuality. I forget what exactly prompted it but I think maybe it was all the comments from trolls about how he's a hypocrite that he decided to start hating lesbians as well, as first seen in the "Boyfriend" music video.

I think this would be a good topic that should be discussed somewhere here on the CWCki, but should we include it into the homos article or should we delve into it in a separate article? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:45, 26 November 2009 (CET)

==Sex Toys thing==

Good so far, but I edited the thing about the anal beads. I've actually ordered from AdamAndEve.com before and they generally give you a choice of a toy or a DVD. Furthermore, the toy is usually based on what you order - order a fake pussy or something like that, and you'll get something like a fake cocksucker. Order something phallic and you'll get something phallic as a free gift (i.e. order a dildo, you'll get anal beads). It's been a while since I last ordered form them (pro tip: Amazon is actually cheaper) but I do believe you can opt out. I do believe that one of Chris's dildo (not his vibrator) he actually BOUGHT because (and I'm paraphrasing his own word) it was only like $1.99 or something like that. The moar you know. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:36, 14 March 2009 (CET)

: Whoa whoa whoa, back up. Chris has a dildo AND a vibrtator? --[[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] 19:39, 15 March 2009 (CET)

==Asexuality==

Me and a friend (who both enjoy this wiki very much) were talking about CWC recently, and we personally think he's asexual, but trying to put up a heterosexual facade because Grown Ups Have Sex; so I added a little bit about that possibility. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:21, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

* The asexuality section is great. I really believe Chris is obsessed with getting laid not out of any perversion or actual sexual desire, but because it's what he believes adulthood is about. And to be honest, sexuality is a big part of being an adult, unfortunately Chris is ignoring things like interpersonal relationships, financial responsibility, work, every single other thing. tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.

* Alright, it seems that this article is the wrong page for the asexuality bit and that the Chris and Sex page would be a better fit for it, so I'm going to put it over there, then. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 08:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

*"''tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.''" Haha, what? Because drawing furfag porn,drinking his [[navy]],the infamous"''I don't know child, what with the dumb laws.''"quote regarding the fact an apparently [[Zapina|14 year old character]] couldn't be in a pornographic film, the also infamous "''I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least. you know, like Lassie.''"quote and other things aren't signs of serious perversion at all? tl;dr being a furfag,drinking his semen,showing signs of pedophilia, and possibly accepting bestiality remove any weight the "''he's just retarded''" argument has. Even if the semen drinking, and bestiality answer could be passed off as doing things to get [[china]], it would remain that Chris became a furfag and [[pedofork]] on his own will. Oh,and I'd like to see any proof he really isn't a homophobe seeing as he fits the dictionary definition to a T.--[[User:Ror|Ror]] 05:58, 27 September 2009 (CEST)

*I consider several things, now that's it brought up. From the Chris and Sex page "then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form". Also the fact that he seems to have little care for actual humans, but feel care for his hedgehogs and his dead dog. and the bestiality bits. I think Chris is Asexual to humans, or things he sees as human. He isn't a furfag, because he isn't a furry, and he ain't a furry because he's said "screw that" to anthropomorphized animals, and seems to just like (and "like") non-human animals (because like his dog, his sonichus and such like him for how he is, and don't have stupid human ideas like bathing)[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:21, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

== Revelation? ==

I happened to glance at CWCikipedia's article on[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education Dating Education], and I noticed something.

"It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo"

Apparently not getting Hanky Panky during teenaged years leads to temptations of being a homo. CWC Science Proven Fact! Anyway, would this be notable enough to put in either this article or Chris and sex, or just forget about it?--[[User:WEsKar|WEsKar]] 20:27, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

: I slipped it into the "Fear of..." section already, but it bears further expansion. This is quite the psycho-sexual revelation on Chris's part. [[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 20:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

== "Christopher" (I guess?) faved [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1251873110513.jpg this] ==

Christopher also does [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1252025256932.jpg a lot] of other shit like that right now. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 18:32, 4 September 2009 (CEST)

==Mother's Underwear==
Does anyone know when and why he posted that picture?[[User:Skwrr|Skwrr]] 21:52, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

The picture of Chris in his mom's underwear is an older picture from '07-'08. Why he put it on and uploaded it? 1. You'll have to see the [[sports bra]] article. 2. What can we expect from someone who bows like a girl, penetrates like a girl, and collects my little ponies? 3. A troll made him do it.

--[[User:Scarletdragon|Scarletdragon]] 04:07, 15 October 2009

*It's from September 2008. Lordsillynipples posed as Blanca and "Blanca" told Chris he would leave him if he didn't wear his mother's underwear, hence why he's not wearing a shit eating grin. I swore there was an article on just those pictures but I forget what it was called. I swore that this was something Chris did before on his own (try on his mother's underwear) but apparently, I was mistaken. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:39, 15 October 2009 (CEST)

==Home Gene==
I was reading mailbag on the CWCipedia, and one 'fan' posed a question that Chris gave a rather interesting answer to. They asked how Chris was going to rehabilitate the homos after the Dating ED episode in the comic, and Chris explained how he ends up out of the time void a year after the present where scientists have isolated the genes for homo and heterosexuality. He offers his straight blood in order to create a vaccine for gayness, and will take it back to his time period. --[[User:Rye|Rye]] 6:18, 19 November 2009

=="Chris on his alleged homosexuality" needs updating==
I am 99% positive Chris has said something denying he's a homosexual since the most recent quote on the list. We need to update it with other ones (make sure they're some variant of the existing ones, that is Chris denying he's gay and that he's STRAIGHT). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:18, 30 November 2009 (CET)

==Heather Iglesias==
"Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu (that is, the fictional actors who portray them, and not the doubly-fictional characters themselves, if you want to add another layer of crazy to the parfait of suck that is the Sonichu series) are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]]..."

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean; I don't remember Chris ever saying that Sonichu and Rosechu are actors. If I'm wrong, feel free to add back with a source. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 03:41, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris hates lesbians now ==

Chris dislikes the lesbians just like the homos. He said this answering a question in a recent Mailbag. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 12:02, 21 December 2009 (CET)

Srsly guys. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:15, 26 December 2009 (CET)

Also is there any "update needed" tag on CWCki? --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:16, 26 December 2009 (CET)

...also I guess I'm starting to take all this too seriously. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:17, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*I'm gonna make a separate article about lesbians sometime soon, titled [[Dykes Dykes China|Dykes]], since lesbians and male homosexuals don't mean exactly the same to Chris. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:33, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*An update needed tag would be handy, good thinking Sonijew. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:10, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris needs to realize this. ==

Lets just say Chris finally learns to accept himself for who he is (Gay, bisexual at LEAST), ALOT of trolls would stop, because most, if not all of the trolls arent homophobic. Chris really brought this upon himself, its a classic example of a "Victim Complex". ITs kinda like how CHRIS is the one who posted the picture of sonichu on 4chan, yet he blames the site.
-[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 12:08 AM
:I have never seen proof that Chris himself posted the picture of Sonichu on 4chan. [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 03:49, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:A better comparison would be how he uploaded [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] to [[ED]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 04:21, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

== TARD LOGIC ==

Doesn't Chris realize that turning all the homos straight would decrease his risk of finding a boyfriend-free girl?
I mean if he truly wanted to have a BFG he would want all jerks to be homos--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:20, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think that's been pointed out to him before in the Mailbag and he essentially blew that person off. Chris might be aware of this but he just doesn't seem to care (like so many other things). --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 08:54, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

==Phobia==
I'd just like to point out that phobia isn't a fear of X, it's an irrational fear of X. So is it okay to change the line "he is literally afraid of homosexuality..." into "he is literally , and irrationally, afraid of homosexuality..." or would this just be too silly/too much?[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:10, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris and health

2010-05-19T01:56:30Z

GotAFish: Removed shitty ass image which doesn't contribute to the article

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some [[Guitar Hero]] on [[Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in 5 years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|right|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or Burger King (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring caloric intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that Barbara does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_incontinence#Constipation</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no veggies or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atorvastatin Lipitor] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.
 
===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in Sonic-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[Image:Skateboarding1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris has never heard of this.]]
[[Image:Basketball-dunking-on-someone.jpg|thumb|Chris has never heard of this as well.]]

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing video games, his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position).

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has done on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the Father Call and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

==Hygiene==
{{quote|And [Sonichu] showers afterwards with shampoo and soap. [[Lie|He showers DAILY, and I shower Daily.]]|Chris<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe.

Because of the lack of showers and the decrepit state of his home, the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. Curiously, he endorses Axe Shower Gel. Considering that he refuses to take showers and is a sucker for Axe products, one wonders what he even bothers using it for.

Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes. Close perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as many as three or four days at a stretch. Fortunately, for his wardrobe at least, Chris sleeps in the nude, except for socks.{{cite}} There's something to think about.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

It should be noted that in the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], neither of them recall Chris emitting any particular stench, implying that this is a problem that started after Chris stopped regularly going outside.
{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of carbonated drinks, poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==
[[Image:THAT ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.gif|right]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a 10-year-old with some ''Playboy'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and rainbows. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always tell him how "handsome" he was. Clearly she needs to seek professional help too. Or she was just telling him that because, well, that's what mothers do.

* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the Blanca incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[Billy Mays]] would have looked the same if Billy shaved off his beard. In high school, he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg Sonichu 7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==
In [[Jackie e-mails|recent correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at an irregular angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost otherworldly horror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a 3-year old girl on helium all the way to Gilbert Gottfried. So far, there has been not even a guess as to why his voice sounds so weird, or why it's even gotten worse — in his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls Conker of ''Conker's Bad Fur Day''.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Health problems}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File talk:Cwcpergers.jpg

2010-05-16T22:21:36Z

GotAFish:

But seriously what the fuck is this shit.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:09, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
:Goddamn this pic sucks. --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 22:21, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Twin Falling Towers

2010-04-30T18:47:16Z

GotAFish: Joe Welch wasn't actually a senator

{{Quote|Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?|Army Special Counsel Joseph Nye Welch, talking about the Manchild}}

'''Twin Falling Towers''' is a video uploaded on 1 [[November 2009]]. In this video, Chris proves once and for all he's an insensitive bastard by mocking ''the 9/11 terror attacks on the World Trade Center'' in his plan to blackmail [[Clyde]]. [[April 16 Fetish Vids | Sick]], [[CWCFlyingElephants | bizarre]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|tasteless]] and completely [[For Julie's Eyes Only | unexpected]] - in other words, classic Chris-chan.

This incident proves to us not only that Clyde Cash remains unfazed by Chris's previous intimidation attempts, but also that Chris himself is a morally bankrupt lunatic who would go so far as to mock a national tragedy in order to advance a personal vendetta, and it has been speculated that this video might even lead to him becoming the star player in a real-life game of [[Kick the Autistic]], featuring an all-star opposition drawn from the ranks of the "Semper Fi" Brotherhood. Many believed that Chris must have been motivated by a [[Troll|trusted friend]] into creating such a video for the express purpose of causing Chris to embarrass himself for our amusement, but there has been no evidence to support this theory. Chris just managed to do something so horrible that it was difficult to believe, even for him.

Chris has since removed the video from his account; thankfully quite a few of [[YouTube|youtubers]] saved the video at [[Sonic|sonic-running speed]]!

==Video==
This video was put in the [[Random-access humor|Comedy]] category. Good job, Chris.

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Twin Falling Towers
| image = {{#ev:youtube|JRvoNe8_584}}
| Stardate = November 1st, 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Saga = {{Clyde}} [[Clyde]] Saga
| Other = {{Audio}} Audio
| previous = [[I AM STRONG]]
| next = [[It will never end]]
}}
</center>

===Transcript===
[''Close up on an image of the World Trade Center before its destruction. Fragments of the photo of "Clyde", that Chris has been using this whole time, are visible through the silhouette of the towers. Laid over the image is a pointing cursor -- we are looking at a picture displayed on a computer screen.'']

Well now, [[Clyde Cash|Mister Clyde]]...your toime and rutches...your fame and fortune shall fall just like these twin towers! They go crumbling down, with an airplane!

[''Chris moves the cursor towards the "towers."'']

Nyerrrrrrr! Pffff!

[''Chris wiggles the cursor around the "towers" to give the impression that they have exploded. He then does a horrible imitation of Strong Bad from Homestar Runner.'']

You are weeeeeeeak! [[I AM STRONG|I'm the strong wunnnnnn]]! You are going down Mister Clyde Cash! Gnrrrrrr!

==Liquid Chris responds==
[[Liquid Chris|Our Hero]] spotted the video not long after it was posted and offered a brief response reflecting the feelings of many observers.

{{Quote|HOW could You MOCK the ALMOST THREE THOUSAND PEOPLE who DIED in the Nine-Eleven Plane Attacks!? I WILL SHOW THIS TO KACEY, AND SHE WILL KICK YOUR ASS AND I WILL HELP.

Please Die,

CWC|YouTube comment from [[Liquid Chris]]}}

He made another comment a few minutes later.

{{Quote|And Another Thing, KACEY is from a MILITARY FAMILY. Now you are Doomed.

CWC|Liquid Chris, on how [[IBA]] further ruined any chances of getting to [[Kacey]]'s [[china]]}}

It's safe to assume that we can expect a bunch of Marines to be waiting outside of [[14 Branchland Court]] any day now...

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Super-Autistic-Man : Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LjpmWbHkerc}}
| Stardate = 2 November 2009
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia
| Subject = [[Chris]]
| Video Type = lol wut
}}

==See also==
*[[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Random-access humor]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I AM STRONG]]|nextlink=[[It will never end|It Will Never End]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Father Call

2010-04-08T08:55:44Z

GotAFish: LOL fail troll

[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yup!]]

Early in November 2009, [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with Matthew Devoria, father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before going on to [[lie]] his ass off about any topic you care to mention.

He's even playing ''Portal'' during the phone conversation, if you go to 01:22:21, you'll hear a turret saying "target lost", seconds after Chris is told by Matthew that Kacey hasn't heard a word Chris has said. [[Fail|''The irony is undeniable''.]]

[[Image:Matthew_Devoria.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Matthew Devoria.]]

Their conversation is...illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog|inability]] [[pokemon|to]] [[video games|grow]] [[sonichu|up]], [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[fat|rotund figure]], and for generally being a [[fail|failure]] at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being confronted with the truth that he uses the [[trolls]] and his [[autism]] as a crutch, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris's attitude and immaturity greatly offended [[Kacey]] and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which didn't go so well...

==Transcript==
===Mathew makes the scene===
'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right, actually I'm working on a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, 50 pound weights... not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? Cause, reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm so 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny cause I have to lift like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

 '''Dad:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s-good evening sir, how are you?

 '''Dad:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

 '''Dad:''' Good, good... So, uh... I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an-with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, first and foremost, let's see...you got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]], I have been filling applications left and right.

 '''Dad:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w-yeah, I'm like a - I'm applying for like uh - retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]...I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months...first off I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

 '''Dad:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff...did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

 '''Dad:''' And you're working at...''Target''...I mean, I know the economy's bad but I mean... surely you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

 '''Dad:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You WANNA work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me but I mean like, you know...but I mean, if I-if I did know then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

 '''Dad:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh...I graduated in 2006.

 '''Dad:''' 2006, so you've had it for 3 years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?
===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had-I did-I have done volunteer work... uh...

 '''Dad:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

 '''Dad:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the-I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading Card Game league a few years back...

 '''Dad:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

 '''Dad:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

 '''Dad:''' How long ago was this? That Pokemon thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]]? I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

 '''Dad:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And-um-that's still going strong. Maybe I-

 '''Dad:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 till about 2008. So about 10 years I've been doing that.

 '''Dad:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for 10 years.

'''Chris:''' ... Yeah but also like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

 '''Dad:''' Babysitting...but doesn't babysitting usually you know, you know, pay? And I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, I have-I have been-I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

 '''Dad:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, [[fail|not so good at showing up]], so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but you know we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of..heavy lifting.

 '''Dad:''' Right, right...Well anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, Pok-e-man now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|2-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

 '''Dad:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] Almost 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but its like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the uh, for a while.

 '''Dad:''' And uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

 '''Dad:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

 '''Dad:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask though...I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:'''Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my-of the house.

 '''Dad:''' ...with her help?

'''Chris:''' ...and get a place of my own...

 '''Dad:''' You need her help to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like you know..um..some details I'm not understand...I talk to my parents sometimes about that but it's like, uh, you know..uh...I..it's like a....whole bunch of details..you know...yeah.

 '''Dad:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need external influence, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

 '''Dad:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, just go to any college board.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

 '''Dad:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know.

 '''Dad:''' So, really, if you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.
===Financial situation and Crystal the tard-baby===
 '''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

 '''Dad:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself.

'''Chris:'''I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your
daughter as well.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, then why aren't you? Where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:'''Yeah, I do have, I do have a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]].

 '''Dad:''' Do you now.

'''Chris:'''I get, yeah, I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

 '''Dad:''' So why do you get welfare? Might I ask? Or whatever you call it.

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of me moving out and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel that I could, I would be able to take care of Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

 '''Dad:''' Are you now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

 '''Dad:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

 '''Dad:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

 '''Dad:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

 '''Dad:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar...I can promise you that.

 '''Dad:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

 '''Dad:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance. Anything else, dad?

 '''Dad:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go...what were you doing again?

 '''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes, I'll be right back, dad.

 '''Dad:''' I think there's some cake down there, too, go help yourself or something.

 '''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, dad.

 '''Dad:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see...if you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

 '''Dad:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

 '''Dad:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Dad:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

 '''Dad:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

 '''Dad:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

 '''Dad:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
 '''Dad:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

 '''Dad:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

 '''Dad:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

 '''Dad:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

 '''Dad:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

 '''Dad:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

 '''Dad:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go - don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

 '''Dad:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]....

 '''Dad:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

 '''Dad:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to draw and color. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I sculpt. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even technologically smart. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

 '''Dad:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

 '''Dad:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

 '''Dad:''' But..you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. I mean, that's not good, son. When I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm....yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

 '''Dad:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

 '''Dad:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.
===Kacey's boobs and internet fame===
 '''Dad:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

 '''Dad:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

 '''Dad:''' ''[laughs]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''he laughs''] she could be a little bit sm-[[Ego|she could be smarter than me on some things]].

 '''Dad:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

 '''Dad:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently [[Kacey Phone Call|when you first talked to her, you actually were pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, [[Liquid Chris|that other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

 '''Dad:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend Kim, she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

 '''Dad:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

 '''Dad:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the electric hedgehog Pokemon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

 '''Dad:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the technology with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

 '''Dad:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

 '''Dad:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

 '''Dad:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together… making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, internet, and I became internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah…

 '''Dad:''' Don’t you… don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about… I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish… yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the internet bullies and trolls… and, uh… and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh…

 '''Dad:''' This… okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this internet, I mean you just, all this internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just… this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.
===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
 '''Dad:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay… you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam… that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

 '''Dad:''' But… and then what- and then YOU, you made this… Son-ni-chu thing. I mean… it’s like… ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing… that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um… you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah… 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean… that kinda hits… that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have… I put that…

 '''Dad:'''You’re lucky I don’t… you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my… I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother… y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um… I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser internet troll, who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], who’s alias is Gregg Mays, and…

 '''Dad:''' You made a video…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had…

 '''Dad:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some… GUY… on the internet… that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm… yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the internet, trying to… you know… y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name… And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off…

 '''Dad:''' Okay, let me ask you… let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I… [trails off with a faint groaning] Yeah, but anyway,

 '''Dad:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

 '''Dad:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [Pause] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

 '''Dad:''' …Uh-huh. Really. That’s…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Dad:''' …That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That… are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

 '''Dad:''' Are you making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

 '''Dad:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

 '''Dad:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

 '''Dad:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

 '''Dad:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' Also sounds a little gay. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background.''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

 '''Dad:''' Why do you sigh so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

 '''Dad:''' [''Matt has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while.''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.
===Maturity, and chores===
 '''Dad:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''Chris rapidly loses coherence.''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

 '''Dad:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up sir! I have moved, I have moved on from Pokemon years ago! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

 '''Dad:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokemon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers.''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

 '''Dad:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

 '''Dad:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

 '''Dad:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

 '''Dad:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

 '''Dad:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

 '''Dad:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

 '''Dad:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

 '''Dad:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of my tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokemon for years, sir!

 '''Dad:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

 '''Dad:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some Guitar Hero.

 '''Dad:''' [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Dad:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play guitar.

 '''Dad:''' You have to stand up to play guitar! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

 '''Dad:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

 '''Dad:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

 '''Dad:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups you did]], whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

 '''Dad:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

 '''Dad:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.
===Death and fake internet women===
 '''Dad:''' [''Matt is about to break down laughing.''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

 '''Dad:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

 '''Dad:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

 '''Dad:''' [''stress sigh of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the twin towers. And you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

 '''Dad:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

 '''Dad:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood and plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

 '''Dad:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' And that's just, that's just...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at straws at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

 '''Dad:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

 '''Dad:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those two women died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

 '''Dad:''' You don't even know these people!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

 '''Dad:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''He is in a state of great consternation.''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

 '''Dad:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this one time where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

 '''Dad:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I...[''angry, incoherent stammering'']

 '''Dad:''' I am looking at Kacey right now.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

 '''Dad:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

 '''Dad:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''He's snapping.''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!
===The maggot Manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
 '''Dad:''' "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

 '''Dad:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. I am a STRONG MAN. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

 '''Dad:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

 '''Dad:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts.''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

 '''Dad:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

 '''Dad:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

 '''Dad:''' Yes-they-are! Everyone works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

 '''Dad:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw a video of your house. It's a fucking mess! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

 '''Dad:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

 '''Dad:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears.''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

 '''Dad:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

 '''Dad:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

 '''Dad:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

 '''Dad:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

 '''Dad:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

 '''Dad:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...
===Kacey returns===
 '''Dad:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

 '''Dad:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

 '''Dad:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

 '''Dad:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

 '''Dad:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

 '''Dad:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''He's still combative.''] I have a lot to offer her!

 '''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

 '''Dad:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

 '''Dad:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

 '''Dad:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

 '''Dad:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
 '''Dad:''' And if the internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

 '''Dad:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' The last book I read...was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''.

 '''Dad:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

 '''Dad:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

 '''Dad:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

 '''Dad:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I...have...learned...that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

 '''Dad:''' That's ''Of Mice and Men''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

 '''Dad:''' Yeeeaaaaah...did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

 '''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is...just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

 '''Dad:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who Atticus Finch was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus...hm...Atticus...hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

 '''Dad:''' Yesss...man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I...I've read it, about a month ago.

 '''Dad:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Dad:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed.''] Stuff...candy...don't...I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

 '''Dad:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

 '''Dad:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

 '''Dad:''' Kacey says you eat McDonald's. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

 '''Dad:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, Chris is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

 '''Dad:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

 '''Dad:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

'''Chris:''' Yep!

 '''Dad:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after...that was 30 seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

 '''Dad:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

 '''Dad:''' I'm a Marine. Not after...a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but...how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe...maybe after, I don't know, 10 miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about 15 minutes on a daily basis.

 '''Dad:''' 15 minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

 '''Dad:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't...you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to videorecord five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' You "can"?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

 '''Dad:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

 '''Dad:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

 '''Dad:''' Don't...[''sputters'']...don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

 '''Dad:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

 '''Dad:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well...yeah, well, I can't...

 '''Dad:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like...half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, so a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

 '''Dad:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

 '''Dad:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? The strong man outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...
===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
 '''Dad:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have...you would be like Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than Chris.

 '''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

 '''Dad:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than Chris, you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

 '''Dad:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

 '''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

 '''Dad:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry Chris. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on YouTube where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

 '''Dad:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

 '''Dad:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

 '''Dad:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''Chris shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath.''] EVER.

 '''Dad:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

 '''Dad:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

 '''Dad:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about eight dollars an hour.

 '''Dad:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

 '''Dad:''' If you want to do lifting you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''He takes a contemptuous tone.''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

 '''Dad:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

 '''Dad:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

 '''Dad:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

 '''Dad:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

 '''Dad:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, daddy?

 '''Dad:''' What's this he's talking about...minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

 '''Dad:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

 '''Dad:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

 '''Dad:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, daddy?

 '''Dad:''' He's always been...he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

 '''Dad:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

 '''Dad:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the honest truth, from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, Chris charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uhm, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to God.

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

 '''Dad:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

 '''Dad:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

 '''Dad:''' Stop sighing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

 '''Dad:''' Didn't you just hear, she...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

 '''Dad:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

 '''Dad:''' This is...this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

 '''Dad:''' But this is...she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W...well, I'm sorry she's upset.

 '''Dad:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you...you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

 '''Dad:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send...I promise you. I have not been lying.

 '''Dad:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.
===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
 '''Dad:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play video games again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

 '''Dad:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your Pokeymans, watch TV. Sleep. Eat McDonald's. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

 '''Dad:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

 '''Dad:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

 '''Dad:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

 '''Dad:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

 '''Dad:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

 '''Dad:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

 '''Dad:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

 '''Dad:''' O...kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

 '''Dad:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

 '''Dad:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. FAT. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

 '''Dad:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for 15 minutes. That's...that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to 30 minutes.

 '''Dad:''' 30 minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

 '''Dad:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

 '''Dad:''' A day. That...I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

 '''Dad:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

 '''Dad:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on Lipitor?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Dad:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

 '''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long...do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

 '''Dad:''' And play...okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

 '''Dad:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

 '''Dad:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little Buddha belly and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

 '''Dad:''' And you just told me 15 minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, 15 minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, so you don't even run 15 minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's 15, they're, 15 minutes, they're 15-minute intervals, like I do 15 minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another 15 minutes of jogging.

 '''Dad:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

 '''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

 '''Dad:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

 '''Dad:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

 '''Dad:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About 72 beats per minute.

 '''Dad:''' 72 beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about 100 beats per minute.

 '''Dad:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately 84 right now.

 '''Dad:''' 84 from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like arrhythmia or tachycardia. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of stress from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to McDonald's, and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response.''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're 30.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic.''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't...less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive.''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go McDonald's anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

 '''Dad:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']
===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
 '''Dad:''' She was pretty, ah...let's say you just blew it, man. She was, she was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

 '''Dad:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

 '''Dad:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues.'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

 '''Dad:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about, yes you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

 '''Dad:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response, that's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel, I just feel very sad for her.

 '''Dad:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about, you should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

 '''Dad:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, REALLY turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, 50 pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, MAYBE.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

 '''Dad:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

 '''Dad:''' And I think she should be with her real fiancé right now. [''Long silence.''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...

 '''Dad:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

 '''Dad:''' I do know. Because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well...points of view.

 '''Dad:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. Belieeeeeeeeve me.

 '''Dad:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

 '''Dad:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an American! I am proud to be an American and I am STRONG. I am an individual...

 '''Dad:''' Don't tell, don't tell me you're an American.

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

 '''Dad:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic...if you were patriotic you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that 9/11 video. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't... do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I, at least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am, I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video, and making the apology.

 '''Dad:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.
===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

 '''Dad:''' And you still made it. You...you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

 '''Dad:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

 '''Dad:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't...that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because...I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

 '''Dad:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

 '''Dad:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...you'd probably cry, for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the internet.

'''Chris:''' No!

 '''Dad:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

 '''Dad:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

 '''Dad:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is turquoise.

 '''Dad:''' Turquoise? That's...that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

 '''Dad:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

 '''Dad:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

 '''Dad:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

 '''Dad:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

 '''Dad:''' No...[''exasperated sigh'']...no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

 '''Dad:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.
===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

 '''Dad:''' A preschooler. God. This is...man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so...[[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

 '''Dad:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just...you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

 '''Dad:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

 '''Dad:''' "Nothing at the moment"?

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

 '''Dad:''' Are you...wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I...no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

 '''Dad:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

 '''Dad:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

 '''Dad:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you...I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

 '''Dad:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

 '''Dad:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

 '''Dad:''' Making...mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

 '''Dad:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

 '''Dad:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't [[naïve]]? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

 '''Dad:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel...anger.

 '''Dad:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

 '''Dad:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

 '''Dad:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli...what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

 '''Dad:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with...I'm sure your "autism" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not totally retarded.

 '''Dad:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.
===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

 '''Dad:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had 27 years of experience.

 '''Dad:''' With what? Eating McDonald's and watching TV? Son, Chris is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had 52 years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school...prinstapull...and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

 '''Dad:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

 '''Dad:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

 '''Dad:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

 '''Dad:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy...this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental...if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

 '''Dad:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''Angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage.'']

 '''Dad:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has don nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

 '''Dad:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

 '''Dad:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

 '''Dad:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet 27 years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

 '''Dad:''' And you...and you haven't, she wasn't alive 27 years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole 27 years.

 '''Dad:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

 '''Dad:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

 '''Dad:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

 '''Dad:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!
===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
 '''Dad:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

 '''Dad:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

 '''Dad:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

 '''Dad:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

 '''Dad:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

 '''Dad:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

 '''Dad:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

 '''Dad:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff her to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about...on her.

 '''Dad:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

 '''Dad:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

 '''Dad:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

 '''Dad:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' Or even tried to.

 '''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Truly.

 '''Dad:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? Only one.

 '''Dad:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

 '''Dad:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

 '''Dad:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

 '''Dad:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

 '''Dad:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

 '''Dad:''' You can't think of...I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean...I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to Applebee's, and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

 '''Dad:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about ten dollars.

 '''Dad:''' Ten dollars.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' That's...ten dollars for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

 '''Dad:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

 '''Dad:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

 '''Dad:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15 or 20 percent.

 '''Dad:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid 10 dollars?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

 '''Dad:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

 '''Dad:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15 percent of 10 is a dollar fifty.

 '''Dad:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, 80 dollars for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm...let's see...that would be about 12 dollars.

 '''Dad:''' So you would pay just 12 dollars, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

 '''Dad:''' You could at least...they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well...good for them.

 '''Dad:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

 '''Dad:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

 '''Dad:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

 '''Dad:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

 '''Dad:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

 '''Dad:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

 '''Dad:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

 '''Dad:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

 '''Dad:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.
===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence.''] Well...I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

 '''Dad:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

 '''Dad:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's...that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for 15 to 30 minutes.

 '''Dad:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

 '''Dad:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|You know that song, that "Whole New World," from that Disney movie]]? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

 '''Dad:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

 '''Dad:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

 '''Dad:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

 '''Dad:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

 '''Dad:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the Aladdin movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than 10 times. In my lifetime. At this point.

 '''Dad:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

 '''Dad:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence.''] I see.

 '''Dad:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in.''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?! You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh.'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid LittleBigPlanet thing. Where the hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean...yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then...and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid LittleBigPlanet thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the STRESS. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again.''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

 '''Dad:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

 '''Dad:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

 '''Dad:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns.''] I would like to say...good evening.

 '''Dad:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Phone Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Y1N7JXQ3 mp3 of phonecall]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Talk:Mumble 6

2010-04-08T08:52:39Z

GotAFish: And fuck your life too

I'll take a crack at transcribing this one. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:41, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

* I'm firing my transcribing lasers! [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:41, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
** Fuck my life! I've been at it an hour and I'm like... 1/32nd of the way through it. Holy balls. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:41, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Megan Schroeder

2010-04-08T08:51:56Z

GotAFish: Formatting issues my ass

{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}

[[Image:Megan Schroeder.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Megan Schroeder]]

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a friend, and maybe even what could be considered a true friend, of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, who appeared in the scene in [[2005]] and cut off contact with Chris around [[2008]].

==Prologue==
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|right|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian, [[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]}}
{{clear}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for [[My Little Pony]], [[Sailor Moon]], and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on eBay herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of 2005 at the GAMe PLACe over a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they're both [[Wikipedia:NEET|NEET]]s, idling their twenties away playing games marketed to [[card games|pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of emails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of [[Ebay]].

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan Emails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into 2006, Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, and kiss her, and other creepy actions. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to use reverse psychology on Chris, deciding to say that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

{{quotebox|
From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and John and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal Sailormoon came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with Chibiusa.

I love the first season of the anime. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. But of course the american version re-did all the music...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a [[Christmas#2005|Merry Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_Kiss_Me.2C_Bro|Megan Emails]]</ref> 
ps no one in my family is autistic. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!
}}

And that was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan Emails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in ''[[Sonichu 5]]'' along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu 5'', most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their email conversations; Chris critiques some of her story ideas, and runs plotline for ''Sonichu 6'' by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''[[Sonichu 5]]'' managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to Kentucky, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he STILL believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win the PSP and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. tl;dr, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 12:42 am 
Subject: .....

Christian-

I haven't been checking my email until recently, and I just want to say that your [[Chris and psychology|behavior has irritated me]] for the last time. First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be. When I say "don't touch me" that means DON'T TOUCH ME! What may seem friendly to you is [[Fuck Quest|sexual harrassment]] to me. You whine that you're just being friendly but you obviously have no consideration for my feelings. The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so. Remember, I have the right to decide who can come near me.

Also I can't say I like how you used my photo in your video and on the cover of your comic book. I want them removed from the internet immediately. Since I'm not a myspace member I can't view what you post. If there are any photos of me on your blog I want them removed.

And I don't like your [[Megan Shrine|"Megan Obsession"]] I don't like being [[Sailor Megtune|a character]] in your [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. I don't like how you made me a character in [[Soul Calibur|Soulcalibur]] and [[Animal Crossing]]. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.

With all that said, we're down to two options: A: We remain friends and ONLY friends period. As in no more touching me, following me, asking me personal questions, and giving me things. We can still battle and trade cards and talk. -or- B: Never see me again

I'm sorry it's come down to this but I've told you repeatedly in a nice way to stop, but you've never listened.

I hope you will finally take what I just said into serious consideration, and know now that if try your advances again I won't be very nice about it.

Please listen to me next time ~Megan<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|Megan Emails]]</ref>
}}

===Rule 34===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]
In November, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>.

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to rape her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was NOTHING compared to the misery of the trolling he was enduring. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken by her experiences and traumatized by his actions.<ref>[[Chris-chan#Megan Saga]]</ref><ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008]]</ref>
{{clear}}

===The End of Megan===

[[Image:MeganZuneBack.jpg|thumb|A Zune cover for Megan <3]]
{{quotebox|
From: Megan Schroeder 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am 
Subject: well... 

I just don't know what to say now.... I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me. And I can't decide what's worse, the image in general, or the fact you intentionally drew it AND gave it to the webmaster for that site that you hate so much. Not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that,(adding obscenity to the already horrific site) but you have also embarrassed and humuliated me, and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not. I mean I'm not that kind of girl, and you know that. So why? And you also lied to me about it. Between that and my recent heartbreak how am I to trust another man again? Simply put: I can no longer trust anyone now. You have very much hurt me on an emotional level. And when I get hurt emotionally it'll take a physical toll. As in no appetite, feeling tired and sick, no sleep. So I am unsure what to do about this. I can't say I really think of you the same anymore, I'm sorry to say. I will continue to give the remaining items for the zune and that will be all the contact you have with me unless I decide otherwise. I hope you understand. So we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation. Until then please d on't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now. I know how it feels to be alone but, I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied, you know what I mean? There has to be an "enough is enough" at some point. And I cannot continue to disgrace myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place. That's all I can think to say right now I'm sorry, we'll just see ~Megan}}

==Epilogue==

{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, ''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC''}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian, ''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC''}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the ''[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]'' video, and then in the subsequent update, ''[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]''.

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos.

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, ''[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]''}}

==Gallery==

===Art By Megan===
<gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]]
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs"; Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg
</gallery>

===Art Of Megan===
<gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. [[Fail|:)]]
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Scchroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Sonichu (comic)

2010-04-05T16:07:17Z

GotAFish: /* Introduction */

[[Image:SonichuLogo.png|center|Man's ultimate Rorschach test]]
{{quote|My art speaks for me|Christian [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|introducing his oeuvre]]}}

'''''Sonichu''''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s official poorly drawn comic book adventures of him and his (imaginary) friends.
==Introduction==
[[Image:SonicVsSonichu.jpg|right|thumb|230px|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(comics) THE WORLD'S MOST WAY PAST COOL COMIC!]]]
The inadvertent shattering of his heart from [[Sarah Hammer]], along with the expulsion from English class ''and'' the confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] provided the impetus for Christian to kick start the comic series in full [[Fail|force]]. It initially served as a complement to his [[Love Quest]] as a feeble attempt to link an accomplishment, or boast his own self-worth to unsuspecting prey... after all Sonichu ''is'' "Zappin' to the Extreme"! He is Christian Weston Chandler's ''only'' son, and the first ''way past cooler'' Electric Hedgehog Pokémon!

If you haven't closed this page yet:
* It's because despite reading, and re-reading the words... it still doesn't make it any sense
* You're in a state of shock (ANOTHER VICTIM OF SONICHU'S LIGHTNING, JERKOP!)
* You are an aspiring autistic artist looking for some inspiration
* You're laughing so hard you can't wait for what comes next!

The comics series has been hosted on the various incarnations of Christian's [[Sonichu site|homepage]] (currently down for the count after multiple trolling campaigns), and was originally promoted from his now defunct Sonichu business cards. Each new addition to the series would proudly sport the now-infamous ''to be continued'' disclaimer page. In fact, the comics are not updated with any regular frequency: In five years Chris has yet to complete ''eleven'' issues. This, of course, from a man who is [[Wikipedia:NEET|not in employment, education or training]]. With a page-rate such as this you know you can count on the [[fail|quality]]!

==Reader's guide to ''Sonichu''==

===How-to and overview===
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|230px|The ever infamous JARGON page]]
The Sonichu series begins with #0 instead of #1, and each issue contains multiple separately-numbered "episodes," so [[trolls|readers]] often lose track of which story happened in which issue. For example, [[Black Sonichu]] is introduced in Episode 4, which is the fifth story in the overall series and the first story in Sonichu #1, which is in turn the second comic. Further confounding matters are the [[Sub-Episodes]] about Christian's [[Love Quest]], which appear sporadically throughout issues #0-4 and are numbered separately from the main stories. The original filenames are also ''misnumbered'' as #0 is referenced as #1, and this continues through the following issues.

Issues #0-1 feature [[Sonichu]] as the unchallenged star of the series, with Christian as a supporting character also appearing in the backup strips. By issue #2, the comic has seamlessly transitioned to Christian encountering people from his real life in shitty anime battles. Token attempts to tell Sonichu stories and introduce Sonichu spin-off characters are made in #3, but all pretense is dropped in #4-7, as the series becomes a vehicle for Christian Chandler as the leader of a heroic band of muppets battling old women and ineffectual security guards.

The comic series is presented as if it were a cartoon or [[anime]] (which might explain why comics mimic visual effects that work well in audiovisual context but [[fail]] on paper), and is encapsulated into ''seasons'' with various episodes (or ''series'', for some of our Eurofag friends). Issue 10 is intended to wrap up the ''first season'' of Sonichu, however, it appears that Christian will fall slightly short of the standard 26 episode 'full season' run. This opens a can of worms as to the current vision of the comics: Is ''Sonichu'' intended to be the hit action/adventure soap-opera TV show that is broadcast in [[CWCville]], or is it the ''historical'' documentation of Christian's and Sonichu's life and times? Perhaps it is destined to be the Gospel from the Stay-at-Home Autistic Virgin Male, ''hallowed be His name''. Either way it remains unanswered whether Christian continues on with the series because he has a vain, misguided belief that some TRUE and HONEST soul will consider these as 'storyboards' for proper licensing and production.

===Art imitating life===
[[Image:ComicTBCont.jpg|right|thumb|230px|TO BE CONTINUED (c) 2001-????]]
Sensing some criticism for the self-centeredness of his work, Christian wrote himself out of the series toward the end of Sonichu #7, trapping the Christian character in the [[Time Void]] so that the storyline could focus on other characters. Despite this, Sonichu still served as a strong Mary Sue character, as seen in Sonichu fighting [[4-cent_garbage.com]] in Sonichu #8. This self-imposed exile lasted about five minutes, as Christian managed to make a cameo on page 18 of Sonichu #8.

He returned from the Time Void at the end of issue #9, giving all non-Christian characters approximately 1 issue to have the spotlight to themselves, during which they mostly talked about how much they loved Christian and hoped he would return safely. On the final page of the issue, Chris claimed that he would write himself out of the series permanently, giving his characters the opportunity to shine on their own. He went back on this promise almost the moment he made it — the opening scenes of issue #10 are some of the most Christian-centric of the entire series.

Following the theft of his [[Medallions of Fail]] by [[Blanca]], Christian immediately released a new comic adapting the theft into his fictional canon and explaining that the TRUE source of his power lay in his [[High School Ring of Fail]]. Since this story was necessarily set after Christian escapes the time void, it was deemed a special preview of Sonichu #10, despite the fact that Chris had at that point not finished Sonichu #8 or even begun Sonichu #9.

The entire Sonichu series has been faithfully adapted into [[audiobooks]] on YouTube.

==List of issues==
[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|230px|Debut episode of the Sonichu comic series]]
'''GOTTA READ'EM ALL'''

* [[Sonichu 0]]
:* Episode 1: "Sonichu's Orgin"
:* Episode 2: "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
:* Episode 3: "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc"
:* Classic Sonichu Strips
:* Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"

* [[Sonichu 1]]
:* Episode 4: Black Sonichu in "Darkness, Speed, & Lightning! (with an accidental dose of cherry cola)"
:* Episode 5: "Informal Meeting"
:* Episode 6: "Black Metal Combat"
:* Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"

* [[Sonichu 2]]
:* Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"
:* Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"
:* Episode 9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"
:* Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"

* [[Sonichu 3]]
:* Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"
:* Episode 11: The Chaotic Combo in "When Hedgehogs Meet"
:* Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"

* [[Sonichu 4]] (A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest Saga)
:* Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie" (re-presented from issue #0)
:* Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart" (re-presented from issue #1)
:* Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront" (re-presented from issue #2)
:* Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack" (re-presented from issue #3)
:* Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack part 2"
:* Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"
:* Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"
:* Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target part 2"

* [[Sonichu 5]]
:* Episode 12: Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"
:* Episode 13: "Shattered Hearts & Entrapment"

* [[Sonichu 6]]
:* Episode 12.5: "One Lucky Dog"
:* Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"

* [[Sonichu 7]]
:* Episode 15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan and Christian in "Time for a Ball"
:* Episode 16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in "Time Hogs"
:* "Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!"

* [[Sonichu 8]] (Rosechu/Spring Break special)
:* Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"
:* Episode 18: "Spring Break, [[2008]]"

* [[Sonichu 9]]
:* Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)
:* Episode 20: CWC-Defense

* [[Sonichu 10]]
:* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities

==Unfinished and Unreleased issues==
These comics are not yet completed by Chris, and most of them were briefly seen in videos during the [[Ivy]] saga. Most of the unreleased comics were obtained by trolls and publicly released.

===Unfinished===
* [[Sonichu 11]]
:* Chris began work on a special [[Christmas]] episode in mid-December 2009, but aside from that, only a cover exists. The release date was announced for 17 [[March 2010]]. Since Chris is a lazy fatass, and also due to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and [[The Wallflower]], the pages were never released. Due to the current state of the [[CWCipedia]], the release date is currently unknown.
* [[Sonichu 12]]
:* So far only a cover exists.

===Unreleased===
* [[Sonichu Special 1]]
:* Chris rescues Ivy from the clutches of [[Clyde Cash]]. Six known pages are available. The rest are unverified, but speculated to be those displayed in the video.
* [[Wedding Comic|Sonichu Special 2]]
:* The fail-tastic union of Chris and Ivy. The pages are not yet numbered, and text remains hand-lettered. A cover page is absent for this comic.
* [[Giant Penis Comic|Sonichu Special 3]]
:* The even more fail-tastic honeymoon of Chris and Ivy. This is technically still an unreleased issue as it was provided by The Miscreants (as jesuschrist.zip). It is in a similar state to Special 02: Pages have no numbers, text is still hand-written, and also missing a cover.
* [[Sonichu Special 4]]
:*Chris rescues [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] (though it's unclear why Kacey needs to be rescued if she's in a consensual relationship with Liquid), shoots Liquid in the shins, and then makes out with Kacey. This is a five-page short with no cover, but it does have page numbers and computer lettering.

Chris has claimed that in total he [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|plans to complete 50 to 100 issues in his life time]].

==Adaptations and related work==
*[[Sonichu Remake|Sonichu #0 REMAKE]]
*[[Sonichu Finale|Sonichu FINALE]]
*[[Audiobooks|Sonichu the Audiobook Saga(tm)]]
*[[Sonichu: The Animated Series]]
*[[Fan:Sonichu the TRUE and HONEST Comic Series|Sonichu: The TRUE and HONEST Comic Series]]

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection CWCipedia comic archive (Episode 20 updates included)]
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu TV Tropes article detailing everything wrong with Sonichu]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Comic]]

My Coke Rewards

2010-03-27T03:05:30Z

GotAFish: I don't think this is needed anymore

[[Image:rubi_110309.jpg|thumb|Chris, the closet telenovela fan. Who'd have thought?]]

'''My Coke Rewards''' is a loyalty program that rewards frequent Coca-Cola drinkers with various products.

Chris has 8000 points, equivalent to 2666 bottles of Coke, or just shy of [[Chris and health#Nutrition|three bottles drunk every day]] since he started cashing in his points. That's enough to buy the most valuable prizes available through the program four times over.

[[30 Push-Ups|Needless to say]], [[Chris and health|the effects are staggering.]]

==Chris's Coke Habits==

[[Image:ChrisAfterCoke.png|thumb|Chris in the future, walking down a pier with his son [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]. The resemblance to [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] is uncanny.]]

3 Points: Any Bottle (including water, up to 2L)

18 Points: 6 Pack of 14 Ounces

10 Points: 12 Pack of Cans (Or 12 water bottles)

20 Points: 24 Pack of Cans (Or 24 water bottles)

25 Points: 36 Pack of Cans

{| class="wikitable"
!Date
!Point per Soda
!Amount of Soda
!Bottles of Soda
!Cans of Soda
!Total Points
!Bonus?
|-
|3/6/07
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|3/8/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|3/10/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|3/13/07
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|3/14/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|3/15/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|3/18/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|3/24/07
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|3/26/07
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|3/27/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/1/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/3/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|4/7/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|4/8/07
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|4/10/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/12/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/14/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|4/17/07
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|4/19/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|4/21/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/22/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/25/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/28/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/29/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|5/2/07
|3
|18
|18
|0
|54
|No
|-
|5/2/07
|0
|0
|0
|0
|10
|Yes
|-
|5/3/07
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|5/5/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/7/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|5/9/07
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|5/12/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/13/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/14/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|5/16/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/17/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/21/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|5/22/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|5/23/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|5/26/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|5/27/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|5/31/07
|3
|19
|19
|0
|57
|No
|-
|6/2/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6/5/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6/6/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|6/7/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6/9/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6/10/07
|3
|18
|18
|0
|54
|No
|-
|6/12/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|6/14/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|6/17/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|6/18/07
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|6/21/07
|3
|16
|16
|0
|48
|No
|-
|6/25/07
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|7/3/07
|3
|20
|20
|0
|60
|No
|-
|7/7/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7/9/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|7/11/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7/14/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7/17/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7/17/07
|3
|0
|0
|0
|27
|Yes
|-
|7/24/07
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|7/24/07
|3
|0
|0
|0
|6
|Yes
|-
|7/28/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|7/28/07
|3
|0
|0
|0
|30
|Yes
|-
|8/4/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8/6/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|8/7/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|8/9/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8/11/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8/15/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8/18/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|8/20/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|8/20/07
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|8/24/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|8/24/07
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|8/29/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|8/29/07
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/1/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9/8/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|9/8/07
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|9/9/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9/12/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9/13/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|9/13/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/18/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|9/24/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|9/24/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/25/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|9/27/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|9/27/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/30/07
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|10/9/07
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|10/9/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|10/18/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|10/19/07
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|10/24/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|10/25/07
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|10/29/07
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|10/29/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11/3/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|11/3/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11/10/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|11/10/07
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|11/18/07
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|11/18/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11/29/07
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|11/29/07
|20
|3
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|12/11/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|12/11/07
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|12/11/07
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|12/17/07
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|12/17/07
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|1/4/08
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|1/4/08
|20
|4
|0
|96
|80
|No
|-
|1/4/08
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|1/19/08
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|1/27/08
|10
|9
|0
|108
|90
|No
|-
|1/27/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|2/16/08
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|2/16/08
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|3/1/08
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|3/1/08
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|3/1/08
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|3/14/08
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|3/14/08
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|3/14/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|3/20/08
|3
|9
|9
|0
|27
|No
|-
|3/20/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|4/9/08
|10
|10
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|4/23/08
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/26/08
|3
|10
|10
|0
|30
|No
|-
|4/27/08
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|4/27/08
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|4/27/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|5/8/08
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|5/8/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|5/8/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|5/12/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|5/12/08
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|5/21/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|5/21/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|5/30/08
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|5/30/08
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|6/10/08
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|6/12/08
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|6/25/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|6/25/08
|10
|0
|0
|0
|40
|Yes
|-
|6/25/08
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|7/1/08
|20
|2
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|7/13/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|7/15/08
|3
|3
|3
|0
|9
|No
|-
|7/24/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|8/7/08
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|8/7/08
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/4/08
|3
|4
|4
|0
|12
|No
|-
|9/4/08
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|9/13/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|9/14/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|9/20/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|10/14/08
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|10/15/08
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|10/15/08
|3
|8
|8
|0
|24
|No
|-
|10/18/08
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|10/21/08
|25
|1
|0
|36
|25
|No
|-
|10/21/08
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|10/23/08
|25
|2
|0
|72
|50
|No
|-
|10/28/08
|25
|3
|0
|108
|75
|No
|-
|11/21/08
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11/21/08
|10
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|11/21/08
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|12/7/08
|10
|3
|0
|36
|30
|No
|-
|12/19/08
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|12/19/08
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|1/7/09
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|1/7/09
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|2/18/09
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|2/18/09
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|3/24/09
|3
|5
|5
|0
|15
|No
|-
|3/24/09
|10
|10
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|4/17/09
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|4/17/09
|10
|5
|0
|60
|50
|No
|-
|5/11/09
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|5/11/09
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|5/19/09
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|5/27/09
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|5/27/09
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|6/4/09
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|6/4/09
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|6/15/09
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|6/15/09
|20
|2
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|6/30/09
|3
|7
|7
|0
|21
|No
|-
|6/30/09
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|6/30/09
|10
|6
|0
|72
|60
|No
|-
|7/8/09
|3
|2
|2
|0
|6
|No
|-
|7/8/09
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|7/8/09
|10
|4
|0
|48
|40
|No
|-
|8/15/09
|20
|5
|0
|120
|100
|No
|-
|8/15/09
|3
|6
|6
|0
|18
|No
|-
|8/19/09
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|8/22/09
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|8/24/09
|10
|1
|0
|12
|10
|No
|-
|8/24/09
|3
|1
|1
|0
|3
|No
|-
|9/4/09
|10
|7
|0
|84
|70
|No
|-
|9/4/09
|20
|1
|0
|24
|20
|No
|-
|Total:
|n/a
|n/a
|905 Bottles
|3624 Cans
|5503 Points
|n/a
|}

==Chris's rewards==

In return for his prodigious consumption of caramel coloring and high fructose corn syrup, Chris has picked up a wide variety of prizes through the My Coke Rewards program. His choices include $50 in gift certificates for Simon Malls (Simon is the real estate company that owns and operates [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]), five free game and movie rentals from Blockbuster Video and 40 free song downloads and one free album download from [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody.com]]. This possibly goes some way to explaining why he downloads all his music legally, instead treating copyright with his usual contempt.

He also acquired a "30+ Minute Downloadable Motivational Workout Music Mix," which he will never use in his life. Period.

{|class="wikitable"
!Prize
!Points
!Date
|-
|$25 SonyStyle Gift Card
|500
|4/29/07
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|5/7/07
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|6/12/07
|-
|DVD set of Rubi Novela
|345
|7/6/07
|-
|One 20 ounce Coca-Cola Product
|0
|7/6/07
|-
|One Movie Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|45
|8/25/07
|-
|$25.00 Simon Giftaccount (SM)
|625
|8/20/07
|-
|$25.00 Simon Giftaccount (SM)
|625
|11/3/07
|-
|$5 Off Season 6 of "24" on DVD
|0
|11/3/07
|-
|One Game Rental at BLOCKBUSTER
|80
|3/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Full Album Download from Rhapsody.com
|225
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/21/08
|-
|Universal Grad Bash 2008 Battle of the Bands
|0
|5/21/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/30/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|5/31/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|6/12/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|6/25/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|6/25/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|6/25/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|7/1/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|7/15/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|7/15/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|33
|7/24/08
|-
|Single-Song Download from Rhapsody.com
|43
|8/7/08
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|11/21/08
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|11/21/08
|-
|$10 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|440
|1/7/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|2/19/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|3/24/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|3/24/09
|-
|$1 @ Rhapsody MP3 Store
|6
|4/17/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|4/17/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|5/11/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|5/19/09
|-
|Don't Quit Music (30+ minute Downloadable Motivational Workout Music Mix)
|10
|6/4/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|6/15/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|6/30/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|7/24/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|7/24/09
|-
|Rhapsody Music Every Minute
|1
|8/15/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|8/24/09
|-
|$1 Rhapsody MP3 Store Credit
|43
|8/24/09
|}

==See Also==
*[[CWC Cola]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mycokerewards.com The official My Coke Rewards website]
* http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?n2bjtmemyyj
* http://www.mediafire.com/?m21jzkmmkvt

[[Category:Websites]]

User:GotAFish

2010-03-24T07:40:47Z

GotAFish:

{{Americunt}}{{OperationMailbag}}{{AssBurger}}

Previously known as APBoy. Yeah.

Speech impediment

2010-03-23T23:59:29Z

GotAFish: Oh the irony

[[Chris]] has an unusual manner of speaking, thanks in part to his Southern US accent and dialect, and in part to a genuine '''speech impediment'''. It appears to have worsened over time — he spoke clearly and normally in his older videos, while he frequently stutters in more recent ones. This could possibly be attributed to the "[[stress]]" he's endured through dealing with the trolls, or the fact that he doesn't speak with other people as regularly he did when he was in college and high school.

Chris's problems in verbal communication potentially stem from either the extended period of "muteness" he went through during his childhood (purportedly lasting from the age of one and a half years old to seven) or his [[autism]], a disorder which often results in speech difficulties. One should note that what he types on the internet generally tends to be significantly more coherent and grammatically correct than how he speaks. This may indicate that while writing, he has more time and freedom to determine what he says. Given the many and varied glaring errors in the [[Sonichu]] comics, one can guess just how coherent his speech is.

==Classes==

===Non-Impediment Words===
Many of Chris-chan's abbreviations are common in Southern accents and speech in general. "Y'all," "'em," "gee-tar," "givin'," and so on are uttered by many lucky people who aren't Chris. These may sound strange to listeners who aren't familiar with the dialect, but if Chris's only verbal problem were dropping the occasional g or l, there wouldn't be a "speech impediment" article.

He also grossly mispronounces names, e.g. "Fills-eye-mez" and "Mayamoto", but this is easily explained as Chris being sub-literate, not knowing how to pronounce non-English names and being a stupid American in general.

===Likely Impediments===
Chris's diction is very staggered. He fills up dead space with "Um"s and "uh"s, or, when attempting to be sweet/romantic, "hmmmm"s, and likes to pause and take deep breaths to break up sentences. Deep breaths and pauses are a training method for people with speech impediments, so it is obvious that he has some difficulty there, especially considering all the other crap that makes him so hard to understand. The worst of it is his occasional tendency to forget what he's talking about in the space of one of his pauses, and to continue rambling on a completely different subject, or occasionally the same subject with some key piece of information omitted. This is a pronounced problem in the [[Official Videobooks]], where he'll lose his place and skip lines of dialogue, only to continue like nothing happened.

Chris can't seem to pronounce the letter "X" and related sounds very well, pronouncing it more like the German "Esszett," or double-S (ß, also known as "long s"). Thus we have Chris complaining about how homosetssuals are wearing Atsse body spray, or slurring "actually" into something like "azhally". Besides that, he tends to mash phrases into lumpy, assorted-candies-melted-together blobs that sound sort of like English while also sounding like his tongue is just flopping around in his mouth without actually communicating anything. Could one easily figure out that "BUHbyenose" is meant to be "but if anybody knows"? Another fan favorite is "[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Ensykapeia Dramakka paysh]]". Even worse are when he mispronounces words in ways that veer way out of the "Southern accent" excuse zone. Southerners cut off a lot of g's, but they're not precisely known for mixing up r's and w's as with "rell-wested" (well-rested) and "rishes" (wishes).

At some point, trying to find a pattern in how Chris mispronounces words, adding consonants to some words and taking them away from others, becomes futile. It's safe to say these are full-blown impediment issues. Combine all this with a constant stammer and you have the reason why there are so many videos without transcripts.

During the conversation with [[Kacey]]'s dad, Chris claimed to pause before speaking in order to "spellcheck" what he is saying. This implies that Chris needs to consciously plan what he is going to say or else he is unable to say it; this suggests that Chris's difficulty with speech stems from poor contact between the speech centers of his brain and his cerebellum, a common characteristic of [[autism]]. It is also interesting in light of the fact that Chris clearly [[Chris and Writing| doesn't spellcheck his ''written'' work.]]

==See Also==
[[Chris and English]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

February 2010

2010-03-20T04:16:16Z

GotAFish: Copy edit

At the start of the month, [[Chris]] was beginning to surrender to the forces of the [[Asperpedia]]. He entirely gave up on the hissy fits, and only made desperate, but halfhearted, apologies. After a few failed attempts to weasel his way around them, he would eventually completely submit to the demands of Alec Benson Leary and [[Evan]], and he promised to kill off [[Simonla]] and at least show a bit higher tolerance towards the Asperchu ads on the [[CWCipedia]].

While he delivered on the first promise, the second quickly started to cause him [[stress]], since Alec started to use the ad space for his new comic, [[Sonichu Revolution]], which harshly criticizes Chris's [[hypocrisy]], [[Women's rights|sexism]], [[Copyright|intellectual property theft]] and the other kinds of [[Chris and reality|stupid]] [[Death threats|behavior]] and [[Chris and religion|beliefs]] he exhibits on a regularly basis. In a typical Chris-like fashion, this criticism went completely over his head, and his reasons for not liking Sonichu Revolution are the violence and its similarity to Sonichu.

The official Sonichu comic has been moving very slowly forward throughout the month since all the stress from following the demands from Alec caused Chris to crash into slumber again. This also led to an almost complete neglect of the mailbag, and when Chris finally came back to answer the letters, [[Mailbag 52|his responses were far from adequate]]. By the end of the month, Chris would complete [[Sonichu 10]], ending it off in the most violent of fashions, killing off [[Simonla Rosechu]]... then turning around and killing Alec, Evan, Mao, and Sean for making him do so! For his troubles, [[Jack Thaddeus]] resumed his ads.

Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, which he started off with a [[Christian Love Day (video)|shameless display of self-praising]]. He had also begun to write character bios on CWCipedia, in which he acknowledged some details trolls have known for ages, such as [[Blake|Sonichu's evilness]].

Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of another human male entering Chris's room and [[Magical Man Potion|actually putting up with Chris's shit]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==Events of February 2010==

[[Image:Irony.png|thumb|right|Oh, the irony.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|On '''18 February 2010''', Chris uploads a bunch of Rosechu art that he drew in [[2008]].]]

* 1 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 52]], Chris answers [[Mailbag 51]].
* 1 February - Chris uploads a [[CWC_address_to_Royal_Board|new video]] addressing the "Royal Board of Certification" in London then uploads [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|another video]] Curse-ye-ha-me-haing Mao for his Asperchu ads and then then [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologizes to Alec and Evan]], but not Mao or Sean.
* 2 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 53]]. Chris uses his [[CWC Blog|blog]] to tell his nonexistent personal army to email Mao about the new ads.
* 3 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 54]].
* 4 February - The Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 55]], in which Chris gets a conditional date offer from a deceased porn star.
* 5 February - Chris changes his featured quote to reflect his current status of not being dead.
* 5 February - Chris uploads a [[5 February 2010|pair of videos]] in which he assures YouTube that he is alive, offers to kill off [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]], and talks about rape and hamsters.
* 6 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=edit The CWCipedia is locked to edits] due to a cease and desist regarding [[Simonla Rosechu]].
* 8 February - The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is wiped out, replaced by a link to [[Asperpedia]]. However, due to a bug, it redirects to an MMO game ''Dogs of the Seas''.
* 9 February - Chris makes a video about how Alec, Evan, Mao and Sean have [[9 February 2010|destroyed the undestroyable.]]
* 9 February - Mao leaks [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|seven phone conversations]] between Alec and Chris.
* 11 February - Chris once again makes a scene in Family Guy when [[Meg Griffin]] is a hot chick the featured video on his [[YouTube]] page, but is taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim from Twentieth Century Fox.
* 13 February - Evan releases [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler the Simonla death pages].
* 14 February - CWCipedia is back to normal, but with ads to Sonichu Revolution up.
* 14 February - A third page of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Sonichu Revolution] is added. Chris updates his [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Captain's_Log blog].
* 14 February - Chris promotes Sonichu using the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Featured_CWC-Supported_Advertisment "Got milk?" campaign], but as usual does not have permission to use the phrase from the party behind the copyrighted quote.
* 14 February - Chris ''barely'' answers [[Mailbag 52]], and [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_51&curid=2090&diff=3840&oldid=3819 amends] his comment on gay soldiers.
* 14 February - Chris posts a new Captains Log blog post, in which he claims to have found a "girl friend".
* 16 February - Chris adds a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Character_Bios Character Bio page] which still includes Simonla and BILLY MAYS. A fourth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 17 February - Chris answers [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_53 Mailbag 53]; the Sysop uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_57 Mailbag 57]. A fifth page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_75 Page 75], and a terribly formatted page for [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Rosechu Rosechu]. A sixth and seventh page of Sonichu Revolution is added.
* 18 February - An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] phone conversation between Alec and Chris is leaked.
* 23 February - Chris post the video [[Christian Love Day (video)|Christian Love Day]] only to prove how [[Chris and his Ego|megalomaniacal]] he really is.
* 24 February - Chris turns 28 years old. His parents drag him to some restaurant.
* 24 February - Chris posts a new video where he transforms from his obese, ugly self into a skinny, handsome stranger.
* 25 February - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_79/ pages 78 to 98 of Sonichu 10], killing off [[Simonla Rosechu]] and Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao in his bloodiest comic yet.
* 26 February - A [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|ninth phone call]] between Chris and Alec is released, where they discuss Sonichu 10 and Christian Love Day.

{{timeline}}

User:GotAFish

2010-01-25T05:02:21Z

GotAFish:

{{Americunt}}{{OperationMailbag}}

Previously known as APBoy. Yeah.

Chris and music

2010-01-22T03:40:32Z

GotAFish: /* Recording tech */

When it comes to '''music''', [[Chris]]'s tastes range from generic pop to generic rock. More recently, however, Chris [[SHE IS MINE NOW|has been seen]] listening to shit he's heard from ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. While some undoubtedly great songs have made their way into the franchise, whether Chris actually listens to them for enjoyment, instead of simply posturing, is debatable.

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|right| This is obviously what music is all about]]

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his two horrible albums was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and that he's totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her musical talent.

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'' game. This adds yet more [[Fat|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3| video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are [[Ghostbusters|either]] [[American Rabbit|unaware]] of or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Thurston Howell III|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced Billy Joel's 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated, upbeat mid-80's pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from killing themselves. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "[[List of Chris's Lies|a lot to live for]]" and told the fan to go listen to the song.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his Youtube videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling."

==Singing==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|left|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
You know you had to learn,
The execution of your mind,
You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how terrible of a singer Chris is. It's also impossible to overstate how deluded Chris is about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront [[Liquid]] via artistic competition, he created the [[SingStar Challenge]], and lost spectacularly.

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an odd, emotionless monotone. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song. This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing [[Sonichu's Zip]], a song that uses "Sonic Drive," the ''Japanese'' theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X'', where the entire song devolves into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech Impediment|voice goes up and down]] with little regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with timing. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often falls behind or rushes ahead of the music he's chosen. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what we can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 27 year old man (who looks 45) showing us his Sonic/Pokémon crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. Most recently he performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]].

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequently source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[Youtube]] is not unheard of. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa Contest]]. While his motivations and the drama they caused are covered extensively in their own article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result sounds sort of like a Muppet slurring his words together and randomly shouting.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a PSP and she don't/So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper/So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!|Chris, [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Master Onion A-La Mode|almost rhyming]].}}

This was nothing compared to his [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|most recent foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy!/And you still chicken you's a dang coward!/You wanna come fight me/Come fight me in person/Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse side project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper with inappropriate affect. During a portion of the video he mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who will forcibly rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs. Yeah...

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|right| Click click click. It's like I'm playing real guitar!]]

{{quote|I would play my ax [sic] on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit. | [[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in [[Brutal Legend Plus|several]] [[Holding Out For a Hero|of]] [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|his]] [[LOOK at the truth!|videos]], Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright [[Autistic|foolish]], even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu|"creations"]] are copies of other things, yet are still [[Chris and Copyright|somehow completely original.]] So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his [[autistic]] mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song. Go ahead and try to wrap your head around this doublethink.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated [[Liquid]]'s actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{tinyquote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.| Chris, inspiring the hatred of <s>audiophiles</s> people who like music everywhere}}

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his PSP and the most expensive speakers his boat could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with his PSEye/camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone, just like his art.

* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover. (For example, [[wikipedia:Ed Starink|Ed Starink]] made a crapton of decent-to-awesome synthetiser covers of pop songs. ''Yes, even "Never Gonna Give You Up." I'm not kidding, he really did.'')

* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect…who are we kidding.

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed there's plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free. Many come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWC Blog

2010-01-08T04:50:02Z

GotAFish: /* 7 January 2009 */

{{Honest}}

The '''CWC Blog''' or '''Captain's Log''' (no relation to [[Captain's Log|the video logs]]) section of [[CWCipedia]] is where Chris tells the world about his goings-on when he's too lazy to fire up his [[PSEye]] and do a proper [[YouTube]] video. And given how much time his fat ass is plopped in front of his [[PS3]], that's extraordinarily lazy.

Chris hardly used this section of the CWCipedia in its early days. The only message in this section for months was a post about some HONEST TRUTHS regarding trolls, merchandising, and his [[homos|straightness]]. But usage of this section started heating up after [[Kacey]] left him and his copyright was challenged. He began to post some updates about his copyright situation, about trying to work with [[Vivian]] to get a cut of the money she earned through her [[Audiobooks]], and to give excuses for why he once again hasn't gotten around to scribbling out his [[Sonichu (comic)|shit comic]]. Likely he's using this section in an attempt to show the world that he does such [[Father Call|HARD WORK]] on the comic in order to win the [[China|respect]] of Kacey or possibly other future [[sweethearts]].

The headings of the following entries are dated in Chris's time zone, though the times and dates that appear at the end of each blog post are inserted by the wiki and are in Central European Time, so they may reflect a date different from Chris's viewpoint.

==24 August 2009==

I wish to make a few points of Honest Truth here.

1. THERE ARE NO OFFICIAL [[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]] or [[Rosechu|ROSECHU]] MERCHANDISE YET. I WAS NEVER AT THE OTAKON. [[CChanSonichuCWC|The guy in the Brown Stripes]] claiming to be me is [[Ian Brandon Anderson|An Impostor]] and A Poser. DO NOT BUY ANYTHING UNTIL I GIVE THE WORD ON THE "CAPTAIN'S LOG" Personally that it would be Official and Legitimate.

2. Ignore ALL [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"Videos" portraying me in a Wrong Sense]], ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT on MY TRUE YouTube Account, '''ChristianWChandler'''.

3. I have called myself a [[trolls|Troll]], because I am Trolling my Trolls Back, so in a Sense, I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], am a Troll, but I am NOT A TROLL to any and all [[True_and_Loyal_Fanbase|Honest, True People]].

4. "It Is Okay To Be [[naive|STUPID]] Sometimes"; It Is Not Okay To Be [[homos|Homosexual]] and Boast About it as well. BUT [[lies|I will personally Not Judge one or Separate any individual People as such; I am cool with being Friends with the homosexuals]]. BUT LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY QUESTIONS AFTER I HAVE MADE IT CLEAR SOO MANY TIMES,

5. '''I, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|AM STRAIGHT]].'''

6. I can work faster with '''Good, Honest [[Show_RESPECT_to_me%2C_"C"CWC|R-E-S-P-E-C-T]]'''. "Find out what it means to me."

Have good faith in me, and the True, Good and Loyal amongst you all shall be rewarded.

I am Working [[duck|Hard]] on getting officially Paper-Published, with Official Sonichu, Rosechu and C.W.C. Merchandise that I will personally sign-off on to follow.

Have a good, safe day. Peace, --[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 21:27, 24 August 2009 (CEST)

==19 November 2009==
[[Image:CaptiansLogNov19.JPG|thumb|I'M WORKIN' ONNIT!]]

I apologize, [[fail|but I came up blank on today's page]]; I am working on it until I have the right idea in my head before I start drawing. But I wanted to make sure I do not leave the Cwcipedia unattended, so I am going to make the "Captian's Log" my Blog Spot (a Quote should only be a quote and not a blog entry).

When I have an update, I will post them here, with an archive; link listed below. If [[Slow-in-the-minds|I come up blank]] one day, I will make an update such as this, or start a new Cwcipedia page for a character or topic, in lieu of a comic page that day; [[lies|this is a promise]].

Other issues on my mind in Cwcville are a video introducing Sonichu to the companies (it may be a two-part video), with advising guidelines provided generously by Vivian, which I deeply appreciate and will use for the script of the video. Thank you, Vivian.

Trolls have been a pain to me in the past, but I will have them all know that their attacks, be they via hurtful phone calls, e-mail or snail-mail, in no way affect me emotionally or mentally. So they can take that and go Get A Life.

I have brought up the new [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag Mailbag] page to the Portal, because these inputs have been brought to my attention, so I will offer personal individual replies to each new set of messages once a week, although I would prefer e-mails to my personal e-mail address, or you may direct your questions to cwcipedia@virginia.usa.com so they would be added to the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag Mailbag] alternatively.

Thank you all for your good and honest patience, faith and patronage.

Have a good and safe day

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 01:29, 20 November 2009 (CET)

===Audiobooks and Videobooks===
*''This message was left at the bottom of the Captian's log space on 19 November and remained there until 25 November, at which point it was given its own page.''

Attention, for all those who have purchased the [[Audiobooks|"Sonichu Audiobook DVD"]], please Direct ALL questions, comments and complaints to the owner of this youtube account, http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#grid/user/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1, Vivian Gee at her e-mail address, starroadgeno@hotmail.com.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, in the past disproved her [[parody|parodic]] and flawed audiobooks and her DVD creations and sales. But due to the [[Chris and Anger|Peace of Mind]] I have finally found, I am in talks with her to make her DVDs an Official Sonichu Merchandise Item with my Approval and a few tweaks, of course.

While I can honestly relate to the content of her Audiobooks, I am not personally responsible for their original creation. To view [[Videobooks|MY Audiobook Readings]], visit the Videobooks section of this website, CWC's Sonichu Site, A.K.A, Cwcipedia.

Thank you all for your continued patronage and support. And please encourage Vivian to come in agreement with me not only for better, and Personally Approved, Audiobook DVDs, but for a better chance for Official Sonichu Merchandise to come sooner.

Again, Vivian's e-mail is starroadgeno@hotmail.com.

==20 November 2009==

Page 81 is drawn, colored, edited and up. For the page, let me offer my personal commentary. [[autism|I hit the block]] yesterday, because I realized that [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|"Chris"]] was originally planned for [[Giovanni]]'s blackmail deal; "Proclaim obedience and control of the city to "Chris", or Rosechu will die." I later remembered [[Reldnahc]], so I put him in that situation instead.

Upon reflection, I feel this is a better story plot, because [[Naitsirhc]] is of more close connection to Giovanni than "Chris" was, plus it gave me the chance to start the link between him and the Devils at "[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]".

Also, let me elaborate, without a plan, it takes me longer to think of what I want to draw and how to draw the scenarios and characters onto the page. But when I have the idea, the roll starts, and the page is drawn. Drawing a page at its best takes an hour at the most, then the coloring takes about half an hour, unless I have a new character on the page and have to choose the color-scheme for that character.

With this page-a-day flow, don't be surprised if more than one page shows up on the Cwcipedia in the same day. ;) But I take my time in thinking, drawing, coloring and all that.

Have a good and safe day,

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 02:33, 21 November 2009 (CET)

==23 November 2009==
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|right|The offending ads in question.]]
I have been busy looking up numbers to get in touch with the people of the videogame, toy, video, and comic industries to make the merchandise come to fruition. Today, I have created and am uploading 4 Videos introducing Sonichu to those people. Firstly, a Personal Presentation, followed by the Powerpoint Presentation. After each fully uploaded video, I will be adding them to the Sonichu Presentations page. Expect all the videos uploaded before midnight tonight and a new page or two tomorrow.

Stay Safe,

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:23, 24 November 2009 (CET)

P.S.

The following ads that have been displayed on this website, the Mexico Contest and the (UGH!!!!) gay-rights ads, will be edited (Mexico Contest) or Removed (gay-rights). I have Not approved EITHER ad before their arrival, and I have informed the sysop of this misdeed. GOD!!!

==25 November 2009==
I will be reading and answering the current set of fanmail in the Mailbag shortly after I upload today's page 86.

Considering tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I will make effort to draw 3 or 4 pages and upload them either then or Friday, depending on the time it comes to be upon completion of the goal number.

Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if Godzilla or Clover came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such.

I have spoken, and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 02:17, 26 November 2009 (CET)

==29 November 2009==

Here's the page for today. I had already explained that I was setting my mind on the mailbox reply yesterday, so that was yesterday's update.

Anyway, a couple of things. Firstly, this morning, I was asked to light the First of the four [[Wikipedia:Advent wreath|Advent Candles]] at my [[Wesley Methodist Church|Church]]. I felt delighted and honored, and I gave my best on reading the bible verse with the lighting. [[Lie|Everyone there praised me]] for my [[Autism|good reading]] and [[Speech impediment|speech quality]]; I felt good.

Second, a piece of sound advice I had thought of after I drew page 91 of the [[Sonichu 9|9th book]]. Back when I was in [[Manchester High School|high school]] during my Freshman year, during the time I was a Manager of the Varsity Basketball Team, I had a crush on [[Laura Dorazio|one of the cheerleaders]]. Among the whole group though, they all enjoyed my company and [[Random-access humor|good humor]]. Anyway, the cheerleader I had the crush on, she asked me if I had a crush on anyone; I answered [[honesty|honestly]]. Then she asked who. Blushing, I told her that I was [[fail|crushing on her]]. She took some [[Time Void|time]] to think about it, and she told me later that while she liked me as a friend, she did not see me as boyfriend material at the time. I later learned that she was Two Grades ahead of me. Live and Learn; at least I tried.

And with that, I encourage EVERYONE to date someone to hopefully make into a [[Sweetheart]] (with [[third date|eventual benefits]]). It is harder when you are a Freshman, so I'd wait until the Sophomore year before setting my sights on nearly every [[boyfriend-free girl|girl]] I [[pedo-glasses|saw]]. But as a Freshman, if you have your sights set on someone, and YOU KNOW that opposite-gender person is a Freshman too, I suggest looking up a role-model. A cool [[Joseph Herring|Junior]] or Seinor-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out (but with your own [[Sonichu medallion|personal flair and charm]]; do not totally copy your role-model).

And IF you know [[Chris|someone]] who is WITHOUT a Sweetheart in High School, Ladies and Gentlemen, HOOK THEM UP. And [[Hanna|DO NOT MAKE IT A JOKE]]; that is just Plain Mean and Cruel, and being Mean and Cruel is NOT Cool. And if it helps, think of it as [[Pokemon League|Volunteer Work]]. Most people enjoy volunteering and helping, Even for an Assignment or Extra Credit. Such kindness and concern reflects you as a Better Person; not some random Shallow Loser, because it show that You Truly Care about others AND yourself.

I offer my blessings to every lucky sweetheart couple in High Schools everywhere. IT IS TRUE, you WOULD NEVER find anyone better than the significant other that you are with right now.

Stay Safe, and Stay In School.

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 04:39, 30 November 2009 (CET)

==6 December 2009==

Just a note, I have just drawn the Two Final Pages for Book #9, but I am short on time to color them both in before the night is over, but I will have Both Pages uploaded tomorrow. And to offer a foretaste, the Featured Picture for today is a preview of Page 100, mostly uncolored with my signature on it. And for tonight, I will answer the current set of letters in the Mailbag.

Also, I am certain that y'all have noticed the most UNwelcomed and UNapproved ads on, ugh!, homosexual stuff. As Everyone knows, I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not take kindly to such wrongful ads on this website. The one who hath done such a horrid crime was the one who hazes my comics and work, known as Jack Thaddius. Apparently, he is of European Citizenship, and donated some Euros and from such, took control over the adspace. He knows of my complaints and disapproval of these ads. To voice your complaints and opinions on this wrongdoing, you may e-mail him at '''jackthethadius@yahoo.com'''. As [[Lies|I work hard for my work]], I also work towards the undoing of this crime on this, the One Official Sonichu and Rosechu Site, the Cwcipedia.

My advice to cope with this, is to hit F5 or Refresh until the adspace, on your screen, displays another ad that is not of that orientation.

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:23, 7 December 2009 (CET)

==7 December 2009==
[[Image:VaSinglesHomoAd.jpg|thumb|One of the many GOD DAMN F**IN' homo ads that has Chris begging EU citizens for free money.]]
''The text of this blog was posted underneath the update from 6 December, instead of replacing it.''

Continuing from yesterday, I have just uploaded the final two pages of the 9th Book. I will remain on schedule and draw the True First Page of Book #10, which (spoiler) is the start to full extent of the dialogue which was left out, due to page and time constraint, on Page 99 of Book #9. Followed a few pages later after this by skipping forward to my to-dos me and the others have to do in and around Cwcville. Then a few more pages later, it will sync-up with the preview 8 pages.

Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' Homo Ads MUST BE GONE! A good start to this process is to contact the current "AdMaster", Jack Thaddius, at '''jackthethadius@yahoo.com'''. And for the time being, hit F5 or Refresh to avoid seeing those ads.

And the Biggest and Best Step to remove the ads, I must humbly ask my Good, Kind and Loyal European Fans of.

Firstly, like Optimus Prime, as a noble leader, I would not ask one to do anything that I am fully capable of doing myself. The main webmaster of the Cwcipdedia, the SysOp, resides in the European Area, and requires donations to keep the webhost space reserved for this one website. I am a citizen of the United States of America alone at this time, and legally, due to international banking laws, he can only accept donations from citizens of the European Union at this time. That S.O.B., Jack, apparently is a citizen of BOTH the U.S. and Europe. I, personally, have inquired upon donating from my funds, but unfortunately, as the SysOp told me, it is not possible with the law.

So, my European Fans, I ask you, to [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWCipedia:Donations Donate], not only to help keep up this, the Original Official Sonichu Site up, but to remove the horrid homo ads Jack has grossly placed. As my personal thanks to each of you who donate in the European Area, ONLY along with the Valid Donation(s) to the SysOp, if you include your legal name and address, that information will be relayed to me via e-mail from the SysOp, and I will personally snail-mail a hand-written thank you letter and an autographed drawing.

Thank You, and God Bless You, True, Loyal and Kind-Hearted People,

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 01:56, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==13 December 2009==
I apologize for the lack of pages today, but I had a number of chores to do for my family today, so to make up for it, I will be typing up a '''New Sonichu and Rosechu Story''', their Christmas Special which I promise to draw up alongside the current pages starting on tomorrow, the 14th. So, I will be typing it up right after I answer today's Mailbag, and I will add the link to it under this C-Log, as well as in the Portal.

Thank you for your Loaylty and Patience.

[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 04:06, 14 December 2009 (CET)

==16 December 2009==
Just a couple of things today, I have to go on a road trip to visit my relatives, so no new pages will be uploaded today only, but instead, I will be creating the page that sorts out Fact from Fiction from that God D*** [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has plagued me since November of 2007.

Aside from that, I apologize from lack of other things, aside from the two new pages from the update just before I started typing in this C-Log entry, but my computer picked up a virus from a pop-up ad while I was updating. It made me had to restart my PC, and it had trouble restarting, so I had to restore it. Thank God it maintained most of the programs and All my files it had.

Thank you again for your Loyalty and Patience.

Have a Safe and Good Day,

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 09:01, 16 December 2009 (CET)

==17 December 2009==
I have enjoyed the trip to visit my Aunt and Uncle with my family; it was nice and pleasant. Unfortunately, I felt drowzy shortly after returning home, so I turned early. I apologize for that. I got up this morning, had coffee with my dad, did some cleaning around the house, then pop needed me to run a few errands with him; important documents, personal verification of such and all. I went straight to the Cwcipedia to type up the Revised ED Page Text of which I went through during my trip yesterday. I do not have enough time to upload a page today, but I will return shortly later to answer more fanmail.

Again, my apologies.

Stay Safe,

===ModNation Addendum===

''(The following was added an hour and a half after the original post)''

Also, This Just In, I have FINALLY been able to redeem my Voucher code for the '''ModNation Racers Beta''' that I got with the G.O.T.Y. LittleBiGPlanet disc, and it is being downloaded now. This weekend, during my off-time aside from the drawing and Cwcipedia time, I will be learning about its ins-and-outs and eventually (hopefully by the end of the weekend) '''create the Cwcville City Racetrack.'''

Also, I will be receiving a second voucher code for the same Beta, and I am feeling generous. The First PS3 Owner with a Trophy Level of 8 or more to send me a message with "Cwcville City Track" in the Subject Line before Friday, December 18 at 6:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time, will receive the code after I get it in my e-mail. My PSN ID IS '''Sonichu''', and the code will be sent over the Playstation Network in reply to the message received. Good Luck!

And Good Luck on beating me on the Online Tracks in the City of Cwcville, VA!

Stay Safe,

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:26, 18 December 2009 (CET)

==19 December 2009==
Now, I'm back in the swing of drawing pages; I have just uploaded the two pages for today.

Also, I have the Voucher Code for the ModNation Racers Beta (for being a Qore Subscriber), but unfortunately I had not received any messages on the PSN from anyone, so I will revise the details. AGAIN, '''send me a message with ''"Cwcville City Track"'' in the Subject Line before Monday, December 21 at 6:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time,''' but '''it is now OPEN TO ALL WITH A PLAYSTATION 3 and a PSN Account; NO Trophy Level required.''' I will send the code to the '''10th message received''' on my PSN, and that individual will receive the code in a reply to their message '''over the Playstation Network'''. My PSN ID IS '''Sonichu'''. Good Luck!

And Good Luck on beating me on the Online Tracks in the City of Cwcville, VA!

Also, check out the [[Art|Original CCWC Art]] page for the first 7 of a number of In-Game Photos from ModNation Racers of my Character(s) and My Car(s) and the Track(s), including the Cwcville Track I am working on. I have the map drawn on paper; all I have to do now is to familiarize myself with all the track creation options and details so I can make this track at its currently available best (Beta-Wise).

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:07, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==20 December 2009==
Firstly, I apologize for not uploading any new pages yesterday or today; I have just been hit with TWO FEET of Snow. While I was drawing a page, I had a 2-second blackout; my PC was on before the blackout. Later, when I went to my PC to turn it back on, it screwed up on me, like the recent event with the found virus software of which I had explained in an earlier C-Log. Anyway, it took me longer to get my PC back up, but now I am back up, and I will upload Six Pages tomorrow.

[[Image:Clyde_billboard_04.jpg|thumb|I am straight! Everybody hangs out in a gay bar sometimes! It's perfectly normal!]]
Onto another issue that has come to my attention, as I have also stated in my new [[YouTube]] video along with what I have just explained, The Troll, [[Clyde Cash]], apparently has [[20_December_2009|uploaded one of his Photoshopped images with my image]] cropped into some strange situation, where he is trying to smear my good name again, onto this website where the image is being displayed on a billboard in New York City. '''DO NOT BELIEVE THE BILLBOARD IMAGE; I AM STRAIGHT; THAT IS JUST CLYDE CASH TRYING TO FRAME ME AGAIN.'''

In any case, tonight, I will be answering Two Mailbag Sets, and responding to ALL current messages regarding the billboard thing (D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash) as well.

Also, The ModNation Cwcville City Track is still under construction; it will be uploaded before Christmas Day.

Thank you for your support and kindness.

Have a Merry and Safe Christmas and Holidays.

--ChrisChanSonichu 05:36, 21 December 2009 (CET)

==28 December 2009==
Well, at least I accomplished ONE improvement on the Cwcipedia; no offensive Ads. And To Jack Thaddius, who is still being an annoying son of a b****, '''I have got out of my Closet of Autism LONG AGO, and I Stayed Straight. YOU Get Out Of YOUR Closet and Go Into F***ing Scientology.''' I say that in response to the ad he somehow placed next to the Introduction Icon; NO AD BELONGS THERE, and '''That Ad is of NO association with me, the Cwcipedia website, and all things Sonichu and Rosechu.'''

**Update: I have found the tweak and fixed the problem; '''Coca Cola is a Product that I enjoy, and I am Proud to be Associated With their products with the Ad I replaced Jack's Misdeed with.''' '''V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! FOR C-W-C!!!'''

Moving on, since apparently there was a Twitter Feed placed on the Mailbox Zero page, which I have removed and moved to the [[Twitter]] page, I have later decided to go into the Twitter Fad and add a small Feed under the C-Log Box. My Username is '''CWCSonichu'''; Do Not Give Attention to ALL Other Usernames in the '''Sonichu''' Twitter Feed who claim or pretend to be me, and GIVE NO ATTENTION WHATSOEVER to '''ClydeCash''' or '''Jack Thaddius''', who both have their own Twitter accounts (Make Both Jack and Clyde BANNED from Twitter, please).

And let me make it clear again, '''I''', Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, USA, '''Do Not support the Gay Lifestyle'''; what they do behind closed doors is their own business alone, and I have no care about it, and they have their own rights as the next person with due respect(s). '''I am Striaght, PERIOD!''' And with the Facts that Both of them not Only are Annoying DumbAsses to me, but They Both give their own Gay Men a Worse Name than they already have, '''Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddius BOTH Should commit Suicide, Die and Rot In Hell.''' As I have already stated loudly in my recent Y.T. video.

I have spoken for now. Shorter updates from me as '''CWCSonichu''' will come in on the Sonichu [[Twitter]] Feed.

Thank You for your loyalty to my Sonichu and Rosechu stories and franchise and Positive Encouragement to Ignore the Ill-Mislabeling Trolls.

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:19, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==1 January 2010==
[[Image:CWCsTRUEandHONESTads.jpg|thumb|The "ads" Chris put up in retaliation to [[Jack Thaddeus]].]]
Captain's Log, Stardate: January 1, 2010
I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another Mailbag or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so as Captain of this website vessel.

'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''

Thank you for your full support; have a good and safe day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:06, 2 January 2010 (CET)

See below as these are some functions I fully support and will be placing around the site...

==7 January 2010==
Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.

And that is my thought not only for today, but my thought for Years.

Stay Safe,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:09, 8 January 2010 (CET)

{{CWCipedia}}

==See also==
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[Mailbag]]
*[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page External link to the main page of the CWCipedia, where the latest blog post is featured]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Blog The CWC Blog archive]

[[Category:CWCipedia]]

110mb

2010-01-08T03:25:05Z

GotAFish: Updated!

[[Image:Untitled.JPG|center]]

<center> '''FUCK!''' </center>

'''110mb''' (aka. '''100webspace.com''') was the shitty hosting service that [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this [[CWCki|wiki]] were on until January 2010, when they were moved to a new domain, cogsdev.org. The [[CWCipedia]] is hosted on 110mb and was not part of the move.

==Major periods of downtime==

* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center.
* [[August 2009]]: someone complained to 110mb and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again.
* [[September 2009]]: Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 September.

[[Category:Websites]]

Mailbag 34

2010-01-06T08:55:05Z

GotAFish:

'''Mailbag 34''' was uploaded on [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 6 [[January 2010]].

== Awaiting Answers ==
{{Email|From: John Thatcher <unclejohn@aol.com>
Dear Chris,
I'm a big fan and I'm excited that I can finally write to you. I was a little confused about your statement about when you lose your virginity. You say you're for women's rights and supportive of women having a choice. If she says that she doesn't want to be filmed, then you should respect her wishes. Hidden cameras would be an even greater violation of her privacy and her rights as a human being. She could also sue you.
For someone who says that he's for women's rights, you sure don't respect them very much.}}

{{Email|From: Jouko Mies <joukomies@luukku.com>
Hi Chris!

Do you really think that you would be able to raise a child? Don't you think
that you should be castrated, so that you wouldn't be able to spread your filthy
autistic genes? Also, did you know that high-functioning autistics are 19 times
more likely to be child molesters?}}

{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com
Hey CWC,

It's me again! i was just writing this E-mail to say how much i like the comic, but i feel that it could be improved tenfold if you included Bill the Scientist, the Boulder-Dropping Whale, and Yawning Squirtle in more comics
My 5-year-old son loves your Sonichu comics, but he loves Bill the Scientist, the boulder-dropping whale, and Yawning Squirtle the most of all, and he is very depressed that they are but minor characters, and he cries his little heart out most days.
Please help me make my son be happy again,
sincerely
Sarah Lutt

PS: Why did you say 'No Comment' to that one e-mail by a fan asking the same question as i did? Isn't that what the rejected Mailbag is for?}}

{{Email|From: MaryAnneSpier@BSC.com
Dear Christian,

Having recently moved from Stoneybrook Conneticut, I joined the Virginian Family Association of Virginia, a non-profit organisation that supports straight rights and the heterosexual lifestyle. I a writing to inform you that as of 1/1/2010 we have been engaging in a nationwide boycott of Sonichu comics because they explicitly support the wicked homosexual lifestyle.

Please visit our site here: http://sites.google.com/site/boycottsonichu/

Currently over 400,000 Virginians have signed to get Sonichu banned, permanently.

Burn in Hell, homo.

Love,
Mary-Anne.
xx}}

{{Email|From: Chet Wallace <mississippimudboghellnite@aol.com>
Like you, I am SO SICK OF MISLABELING. Instead of people calling me gay people call me a racist. I'm not, though. I don't hate black people, I just hate the things they do. And sure, I have a Confederate flag hanging over my desk and make a few jokes about Obama, but WHO DOESN'T? I don't have anything against black people, I just want them to keep their black people doings behind closed doors and out of my face!

I got so tired of it that I filmed myself having sex with a black woman and sent the video to all my friends, co-workers and relatives. I used a hidden camera and blurred out her face, but everybody I know was pretty much appalled. I don't get it! What's more not-racist than fucking a black chick and sending links to the grainy amateur video you recorded of it to everyone you know at Christmas?

My point is, you just can't please some people. Having sex with a girl on a hidden camera wouldn't convince anyone you're straight, they'd just think you're a pervert.

Chet}}

{{Email|From: Jeff T. Ford <jtf@mail.com>
Hey Chris,

If you visit this site (http://tinyurl.com/yem8j3t) you'll see that it is prefectly legal to marry one's cousin in Virginia. As CWCville is in Virginia, and therefore falls under Virginian law, it is legal to marry your cousin there too.

You see, state law overrules local council laws so even if you as mayor decreed it was illegal, the state would overrule you.

I for one am happily married to my cousin. She is very pretty and I get regular sex.

Jeff.}}

{{Email|From: Miguel Sanchez <hawaiian_robot@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris,

You keep mentioning that you have a 'degree' in Computer Aided Drafting and Design, however, this is only an Associate's Degree, which is only equivalent to half a Bachelor's Degree, as it only takes half as many credit points to earn. When you pass off an Associate's Degree as a Bachelor's, it outrages someone such as myself, who worked very hard to earn his Bachelor's with Honours. Could you please differentiate between the two in the future.

Thanks!}}

{{Email|From: poundoflesh@aol.com
Dear Christian,

As a long time lover of your work I was wondering if you could answer a question my friends often harass me about when it comes to you. They often mock you by saying you are wasting their tax dollars with your "monthly tugboat" otherwise known as a welfare check. My question is why do you think I as a taxpayer should pay for you when you seem to be capable of holding a job? I know its because you're a fellow artist, but I want to give them an answer in your words not mine. Also you brought up Bush's tax-cuts for a reason of your liking him, was your family included in that?

Sincerely,
Ezra Pound}}

{{Email|From: doyouunderstand2@aol.com
Why do some Sonichus and Rosechus live in houses, while others (like Chloe and Blazebob) live in Pokeballs?}}

{{Email|From: Craig Curly <curlman921@yahoo.com>
On what date exactly did you consciously choose to be heterosexual, and what brought you to this decision?}}

{{Email|From: marmitist@gmail.com
I've been reading Sonichu for a few months now, and I wanted to tell you how much I like it. Keep up the good work! Anyway, I just watched Rain Man for the first time. Have you ever seen it? It's really good. It's about an Autistic man who has amazing abilities with counting and all sorts of math. I was wondering if you, as a High-Functioning Autistic Adult had any special or extraordinary abilities like Rain Man did, either with numbers or other things.

If you do, what kind of special abilities do you have? I've read that nearly all Autistics have some kind of amazing talents, and I'd really like to know what yours are.

Take Care,

Kim Peek}}

{{Email|From: Brandon Louthan <brandonl1701@yahoo.com>
I'm sorry, but I read in your one mailbag that gay sex is illegal in CWCville and Magi-Chan has the ability to tell when it happens...that seems like an invasion of privacy to me. Sound something like a dictator would do.}}

== Questions ==
You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?

What exactly happened when you were called into Mary Lee Walsh's office?

Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?

When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?

{{Mailbag}}

Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC

2010-01-06T06:27:52Z

GotAFish:

' '''Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC''' ' is a video where [[Chris]] sings [[Niggos|Arethra Franklin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]", demanding that people—not only respect him, but, also—praise him. Chris notably [[fail|fails]] at spelling "respect", which is clearly spelled out in the song.

'''Official description:''' Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC Thank you, Miss Franklin for that Cwcspirational Track. :)

And Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT.

And to all you nay-sayers and trollin' stupids, [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]]!!! And show me RESPECT.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|TJsEtuKsIVQ}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 22 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:music.png]] [[Music]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshort.png]] The Classic Shortsleeve
| previous = [[CWC_Update_20_August_2009| CWC Update 20 August 2009]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
}} </center>

{{quote|R-E-S-T-E-D-C!}}

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: August 22nd, 2009.

Th' name is '''Christian Weston Chandler''', birth name Christopher, Spanish nickname [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]], [''shakes head''] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|NO OTHER NAME]].

[''Begins drawing on a piece of paper, using the [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] as an impromptu writing surface with some difficulty'']

I am so sick of hearing that '''stupid name''' that somebody made up back when I had that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] account, and '''I be a Chandler'''. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my '''last name'''.

I tell you, I'm so sick of getting all this disrespect. You dis—you continue dissing me, you're dissing [[Charlottesville]], and everybody—and all the indi—and all the individual citizens, and als—you also diss [[Ruckersville]]. I'm so sick of the [[Speech_Impediment|disrespest]]. We do not need disrespect in this world, all it does is just... makes me feel bad. And do you want me to feel bad? Do you want me to stop drawing the [[comic]]s? [''shakes head''] And I am not going to stop drawing the comics, not as long as I [''begins singing, with his usual level of talent''] [[CWC_Dare|DARE!]] TO! [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_1:_.2310|SURVIIIIIVE!]] It's calling me on to victory! [''stops, to the relief of millions'']

Anyway, all I'm—anyway, I am definitely getting all th—into the works. It's all in the papers... everything is in the papers.

[''Chris begins to speak in the rhythm of the song he's about to sing (or tries to, anyway)'']

So, all I'm askin', ya dern dummy 
Cause guess what? I give ya all my workin'. 
I'm castin', my pearls before swine. 
But yet do I complain? Not really. 
All I'm askin', in return dudes and dudettes 
'sa lil' bit of respet. 

'Cause ya you know me. I'm the artist. 
I'm the original, there's no substitute. 
If you don't like it, well y'all can go sommere else 
like to Hell. 

Eh, but the rest of you, give me my praises 
I tell you what, you'll get my blessin's. 
and I tell you what, trolls, you're so trollin' stupid 
don't give a dare. 

[''finishes drawing, then holds up the artistic abortion he has created'']

Fresh sample; match it to any book. 'Cause you know, all I'm asking for...

[''jump cut to Chris cueing Aretha Franklin performing and Chris preparing to [[Oversized_Drinking_Straw_of_Fail|rape it with his mouth]]'']

What you want, man I got it. 
What you need, you know I got it. 
All I'm askin'--PEOPLE!--is for a li'l respect. 

Der be lel beh, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a little bit, 
Just a little bit. 

I ain't gonna do you wrong, where you goin', WOMAN? 
[''Mumbles incoherently through this entire line''] 
But all I'm askin', is for a little respect. 

Der be lel beh, [''dramatic glasses removal''] baby, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a litle bit, 
Just a little bit. 

Uz give you all my workin'. 
And all I'm askin' returndudesanddudettes, 
Is to PRAISE me, und duh pluz smer git ho! [''sic''] 

AY, SHOUT IT LOUD I'M TRUE! 
PRAISE ME! 
HAVE FAITH! Show me respect! 
I'm so sick of that hazing and mislabelings! 
You keep it up you're gonna continue to be cursed! 
Otherwise withthetrue andthefaithful, y'all continue to get my blessin's! 
Oooh, YA PRAISES! 
Sweeter'n honey. 
But guess what? 
Salt is my money. 
Oh, what you do for me ip—dip—is praise me when you get home! 
Bleah, baby! 
PRAISE ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LADIES! [[Chris_and_sex#Chris_and_Rape|give it to me]]! 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! 
R-E-S-T-E-D-C, [[Semen|drink it]], TCB! 
Suckittome, suckittome, suckittome, suckit—GIVE ME RESPECT!

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-08-22]]

Template:Video icon key

2010-01-06T06:25:45Z

GotAFish: Added icon

{|class="wikitable"
!colspan="5"| Key <div style="clear:right; float:right;">([[Template:Video_icon_key|edit]])</div>
|-
! Subject Matter
! Performance Style
! Saga
! [[Chris and fashion|Shirt]]
! Other
|-
|
{{Comics}} [[Comic]]s 
{{Fanart}} [[:Category:Fan art|Fanart]] 
{{Galpals}} [[Gal pals]] 
{{Homos}} [[Homos]] 
{{Music}} Music 
{{Rumors}} Rumours 
{{Sex}} [[Sex]] 
{{Television}} Television 
{{Video games}} [[Video games]] 
{{Website}} Website 
|
{{Comedy}} [[Random-access humor|Comedy]] 
{{Tragedy}} Tragedy 
{{Rage}} [[Rage]] 
{{Reason}} Reason 
{{Crazy}} Crazy 
|
{{Stackhouse}} [[Adam Stackhouse|Stackhouse]] Saga 
{{ED}} [[ED]] Saga 
{{Blanca}} [[Blanca]] Saga 
{{Hill}} [[Jimmy Hill|Hill]] Saga 
{{Panda}} [[Panda]] Saga 
{{Clyde}} [[Clyde]] Saga 
{{Miyamoto}} [[Miyamoto]] Saga 
{{Julie}} [[Julie]] Saga 
{{Ivy}} [[Ivy]] Saga 
{{Liquid}} [[Liquid]] Saga 
|
{{ClassicShirt}} Classic 
{{BlueRugbyShirt}} Blue Rugby 
{{DogShirt}} Advice Dog 
{{ClassicShortSleeve}} Classic Shortsleeve 
{{GreenStripeShirt}} Green Striped 
{{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Vert. Blue Gray 
{{VertRedShirt}} Vert. Red 
{{JerkopShirt}} Jerkop 
{{OrangeShirt}} Orange 
{{PokeShirt}} PokeShirt 
{{RedBlueShirt}} Red Blue 
{{RedShirt}} Red 
{{RedStripeShirt}} Red Stripe 
{{YellowRedStripeShirt}} Yellow & Red Stripe Rugby 
{{RedYellowStripeShirt}} Red/Yellow Stripe 
{{SouthAfricaFlagShirt}} South Africa Flag 
|
{{Leaked}} Leaked 
{{Live}} Live 
{{Direct Feed}} Machinima 
|}

Template:ClassicShortSleeve

2010-01-06T06:24:53Z

GotAFish: Created page with 'Classic ShortsleeveImage:Classicshort.png<noinclude>Category:Icon Templates</noinclude>'

Classic Shortsleeve[[Image:Classicshort.png]]<noinclude>[[Category:Icon Templates]]</noinclude>

File:Classicshort.png

2010-01-06T06:23:01Z

GotAFish: Originally made by Joson

Originally made by Joson

User:GotAFish

2010-01-06T02:00:42Z

GotAFish: Created page with 'Previously known as APBoy. Yeah.'

Previously known as APBoy. Yeah.