CWCki - User contributions [en]

PS3

2010-06-22T01:35:06Z

Grammarbot: /* PlayStation Network */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

Chris's [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2006]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>) is his "life upgrade." He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> He eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards.

==PlayStation Network==
[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation emails, a testament to Chris' financial responsibility.]]

[[Chris]], being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's online capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN it has contributed into most of the $2000 of his credit card debt (although this was during the [[Julie]] Saga). As of now that number is higher, at a little over a third of Chris's [[Monthly tugboat|annual income]].

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

As of the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010, Chris's PSN purchases are growing: in several months during this time frame, Chris spent more than $200 each month on the PSN.

As of February 2010, Chris has currently spent: '''$3405.22'''

=== Trophies ===

According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 17 June 2010, Chris has 1040 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

The games where he has over 50% progress so far include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''inFamous''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the God of War Collection.
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s Ultimate Genesis Collection''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the Sonic ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| Apparently, a demoscene production. ''Not'' remarkable. Most people already had 1000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''Flower''
| 14
| 100%
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Wheel of Fortune''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Gunstar Heroes''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have got 100% in Gunstar Heroes, but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''Frogger Returns''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''Burnout Paradise''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>[[Brutal Legend Plus]]</ref>
|-
| ''Braid''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be a [[Christian Weston Chandler|stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that Braid is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under 5 hours.
|-
| ''Sonic Unleashed''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D Sonic title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Noby Noby Boy''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Heavy Rain''
| 43
| 65%
| Chris's trophies for this game are largely the ones achieved through rote button-pressing, not the ones that require actual exploration or puzzle-solving skill.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen]]''
| 8
| 57%
|
|-
| ''UNO''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously?
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there's a bunch of them that he hasn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he has touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over ''a couple of hours''. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'')

=== Hacking ===

As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account has been hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart Julie, was able to convince Chris to "share" his password in [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3|February 2009]], and later used it as a wedge to control and torment Chris. Later, in the summer of 2009, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 February 2010, thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain <s>nigger</s> Hawaiian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So… good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And… LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is]]}}
{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call... My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles}}

[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]
Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical stress.

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It remains to be seen if doing so will void any long-term warranty the PS3 might have had or impede his quest to gather more trophies and download stuff from the PlayStation Network.

==Other oddities==

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in [[Brutal Legend]].</ref> He even does so in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
*[[List of Chris's games]] - detailing his entire game collection.
*[[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
*[[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
*[[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempt to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
*[[PS3 History Level]]
*[[PSEye]]
*[[PSP]]
*[[PSN Blogs]] - an archive of Chris's posts.
*[[Sonichu Home Club]] - because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
*[[Sony]]
*[[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - the Kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Jerkop

2010-06-11T01:48:00Z

Grammarbot: /* Creation of a Jerkop */

[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
A '''Jerkop''' is either a '''mall security guard''' or an "evil" '''police officer'''. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|Jerk]]" and "Cop".

In the comics, Jerkops are agents of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. They are not seen much outside of the [[Sub-Episodes]].

==Appearance==
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Jerkops in a [[2004]] short]]

Jerkops are depicted as even more simplified than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies, and appear to be robotic, possibly being mass-produced.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], there are three types of jerkops. The basic ones are the usual white-shirted ones, mostly seen in the comics. A higher-up level version are ones donning red uniforms. The final level are the brown-uniformed ones, who are either [[Jerkhief]]s or a Jerkop Daitenzen, such as [[Bagget]].
{{clear}}

==Police?==
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred for the Vice Squad, ''[[Sonichu 5]]'', page 28}}

[[Image:ECP_00025.jpg|thumb|Fuck da police!]]

While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck the Police", he clarifies in ''[[Sonichu 5]]'' that [[Niggos|brown]] is wrong, and the standard blue and black are [[Fail|TRUE AND HONEST]]. Ergo, while he loathes mall security for preventing him from [[Attraction Sign|soliciting]], the cops that have real guns and beat black people on the side of the road are A-OK. Just like with [[homosexuality]], Chris decided to vilify those that dare see differently from him.

You'd think that Chris would recall that ''before'', he said that all cops were good as long as they were wearing blue and black. However, because [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]], a real police officer, arrested Chris (for completely legitimate reasons), he is suddenly not a TRUE and HONEST police officer. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay if they wear blue and black and don't try to arrest him for breaking the law. So let's guess that he doesn't take kindly to state troopers, county sheriffs and park rangers, who usually are associated wearing brown but have equal police power to those who wear blue and black. Also, British, Australian and Canadian police uniforms usually consist of a kevlar vest and a white shirt much like that of the mallcops who beat Chris. So, if you're a cop wearing white, don't fight, shoot Chris on sight!

Of note, police in [[CWCville]] are probably extremely inept. Not once have they appeared in the fight against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] or the Jerkops, with the exception of ''Sonichu 5'' (where Chris orders them away almost instantly). More than likely, the TRUE police probably don't give a shit about CWC's vendetta, and are hanging with [[Yawning Squirtle]] somewhere.

==Equipment==

{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], on his appetizer at [[Country Cookin]]}}

[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol cleverly disguised as a [[penis|duck]].]]

Jerkops, in order to cockblock everyone, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, [[Semen|glitter glue]], and treebark. What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] to fall for such a shoddy disguise.

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry an out-of-date breadstick, aka "a nightstick," pulled from nowhere, and one was carrying handcuffs in ''[[Sonichu 4]]''. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a [[Fail|metallic slingshot]], aka "a handgun," and sometimes wears a metal suit. The most heavily armed Jerkop is the [[W-M-Manajerk]], utilizing a [[Anime|giant shell of robotic armor]] along with a golden axe.
{{clear}}

==Weaknesses==
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who get in the way of you violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region". The lowest levels of Jerkops require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because the fat absorbs the impact.

==Creation of a Jerkop==

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Yram]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College", unknowingly. Upon entering the school for the first day, they are infected with "brainwashing powder" that affects them unconsciously. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing to send them out to help cockblock Chris.

In [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], Chris made clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until ''[[Sonichu 9]]'' where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10]], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|Nigh Omnipotence]] to supposedly cure all jerkops everywhere forever.

==Appearances in comic==
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: Off-Target]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: Off-Target part 2]]

==Notable Jerkops==
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Punislav]]
*[[Officer Keino]]
*[[Officer Nasty]]

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Villains]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-06-11T01:32:08Z

Grammarbot:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining Honest.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC (21 January 2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, the truth of the game was not revealed until 4 February 2010 where it was revealed to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''. The idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut,"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris. More so, when the alleged "director's cut" was shown on video, the DVD itself clearly had "Director's Cut" scribbled in with a Sharpie, suggesting that Chris altered it in an attempt to back up his lie.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*In an email,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website."

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.<ref>[http://www.pilgrimhall.org/mayfpass.htm A list of all passengers on the Mayflower from a guy who was actually there]</ref>

*He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]]</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an [[Robotnik|IQ of over 300]].<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref> For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later on, he claimed to have an IQ of 150.<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of Christian Weston Chandler, [[Megan|that]] [[Clyde Cash|may]] [[CADD Chef|seem]] [[Kellie Andes|similar]] [[Hanna|to]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|anyone]] [[Bagget|in]] [[Sarah Hammer|real]] [[Wes Iseli|life]], are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics.}}

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.

*Chris claims he can lift [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|"well over 100 pounds"]].

*In order to substantiate his claim that [[Asperchu]] is a [[parody]] of himself, Chris would logically be forced to admit their many similarities. However, most of that would involve admitting that Chris is a delusional, self-centered prick. Chris instead opts to note the similarities in their physical appearance. To wit: Asperchu's [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]], and [[Chris and Fashion|striped shirts]]. However, when it comes to Asperchu's rotund figure and obvious man-boobs, Chris admits that he ''used to'' have "manboobs" and a "buddha belly". Obviously, those things should not be described in the [[obesity|past tense]].

*Chris began receiving emails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. As Chris is a 300-IQ-having detail-oriented Pokémon expert, and he drew this Raichu with a pointed tail several times, fans concluded that he must have intended this, and let Chris know they now understand Rosechu started out male, and may still be a trap or hermaphroditic. Panicked that he'd been cornered, but unable to just issue a simple [[retcon]] due to his [[Chris and his ego|crippling ego]], Chris instead made a 22 January post on his [[CWCipedia]] including a doctored picture of the Raichu with the tail now blunted and lied to his readers that it had always been drawn that way since the very beginning. Not only was it obviously photoshopped, but he's such a tremendous idiot that he didn't change the actual comic page showing the pointed tail in his own site's archives. (It should be noted that Chris devised Rosechu's back story before Pokémon introduced the concept of gender specific features; all Raichu were depicted with a pointed tail before 2006. While Chris could have simply made this point, he opted to instead lie to his TRUE and HONEST fans.)

*In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] claiming that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.

*When [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|talking to Alec]], Chris claimed that the [[Basement Rosechus]] were not meant to imply that Alec raped them, only that he allegedly treated them like hamsters. If this were so, why is one of them wearing a bridal gown, and why is one clad in only her undergarments if he was just keeping them as non-sexual pets?

*On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.

*During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|the eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Nintendo simply giving away rights to use one of the most popular characters from one of their biggest cash cows is absolutely ridiculous. Also during the call, Chris made it a point to state very confidently that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns as a valid reason to not sell off any of his games to make some money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly. Even if he played games for 10 hours a day, 30 minutes at a time for each game, he'd only be able to play each game once a month.

*Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10]].

*When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure about making money with Sonichu, if that were true, he would never try to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|videogame]] about Sonichu, nor try to sell it to businesspeople.

*Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and in fact complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].

*Promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].

*While trying to get himself back into the GAMe PLACe, he says to Michael Snyder he's a better person. This is after all the shit he's done in the last year and a half, while secretly recording Michael, and ends the meeting calling Michael a Jew like it's an insult despite previously claiming he had nothing against Jews.

*Chris's [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)|CWCipedia article about the Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fantasy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths and flat out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and the Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris' "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails_Part_2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favourite for this).

*In [[Mailbag 49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy, allowing for open homosexuals to serve in the US military, Chris, in an extremely homophobic reply, said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[Homos|homos]] can go die in explosions." In [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag_53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], when called out on this, rather than simply apologise for the remark, he either denied having made it in the first place, or he claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an email in [[Mailbag 51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original email. As of writing, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49]] remains unchanged and unretracted.

{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Sauces==
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[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]