CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and writing

2015-01-23T06:13:05Z

Grammatical Christorian: Added missing word & removed superfluous comma.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Like many elementary school kids, Chris frequently pauses from the action to [[Autism|describe exactly what a character is wearing]] and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. This is counterbalanced by frequently [[Evan|glossing over things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Sometimes Chris would interrupt an action scene to introduce something that is completely irrelevant to its context.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> Its overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. As well, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is seen by many people as just plain lazy.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks. (The worst offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters as they are written are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in some sort of cartoon universe, giving them flaws would amount tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His main response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective. Including the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities- all of the males are shallow bastards who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are shallow whores who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully revelling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating in exposition something akin to "it just happened." With [[Blake]], who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he "flips." His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] and an equally sudden mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. No reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A preview for a next issue tersely concludes the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to dismantling tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in his own comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unspeakably boring.'''

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very quickly and often with no real logic or progression just because they caught his fancy. There's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]] except he was interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris becomes uninterested in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed off-panel so that Chris can proceed to his newest internet girlf... ahem, plotline of interest. Other narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] or [[Jiggliami]]) can be forgotten and abandoned entirely with, if the reader is lucky, a sentence or two tying up the loose end.

The comic's narrative is further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next book with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on his dating advice to his favorite son.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself for ''almost'' two issues, and when it ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]

Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his comics clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with odd terms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes, these reaches don't even rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris's fail. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact. Here it would seem that Chris is unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience disapproval of peers that concerned him as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which presumed that his person and daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on. The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format. Instead, Chris stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout.

He has also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results are only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, you're publishing your opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]].

Another arguably more important fault is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Most bloggers realize that if you have to spew about your pathetic life, you'd better make it interesting. While Chris does release the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris shows that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert." With this sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were naturally shallow. (In part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long.) His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion. His teacher deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical. The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is no indication that Chris ever learned the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a frowny-face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[Cwcipedia|Cwcipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a month prior, which is almost certainly because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Emily

2015-01-12T00:24:55Z

Grammatical Christorian: /* Hindsight */

{{DeadLinks}}
[[Image:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|70px|The only known image of Emily, shot from behind.]]

'''Emily Julia Schifflet'''<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Chris fails at flirting (0:32:12–0:36:48)]]</ref> is [[Chris]]'s onetime [[sweetheart]] with whom he went on a date. The date memorably ended in disaster when he was trolled IRL by a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man dressed like a pickle.]].

Emily's identity is zealously guarded by her friends, but needless to say, we can tell you she's female and has great legs. Some argue she's Asian, but those people are probably [[slow-in-the-minds]].

==Chris's first date==
In [[2009#March|March 2009]], shortly after [[Julie]] turned out to be a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris vowed that he would return to his real-life exploits of [[Attraction Sign|stalking women in public places]] in order to gain his [[sweetheart]]. Emily, a journalism student and head of the [[Sonichu Girls]] chapter at [[Wikipedia:West Virginia University|West Virginia University]] (and totally not a [[troll]]), decided to take Chris up on his offer and asked if he'd liked to go out to lunch sometime.

Chris actually stood up Emily the first time, on 16 [[March 2009]], because he was so [[stress|stressed]] from his parents arguing over whether she was real or not. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed that Emily was sincere and truly wanted to meet Chris, while [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was more suspicious. Chris's small mind could not handle two simultaneous arguments and so he didn't go.<ref>[[Apology to Emily]]</ref> Emily was pissed off about this and demanded that Chris reschedule. Chris agreed and a new date was set.

When Chris finally did meet up for the date (on 19 March 2009 at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]), he brought his 81-year-old father, [[Bob Chandler]] along. Yes, he brought his dad on his first date. [[prom|At least it wasn't his mother.]]

Chris would later confide to Ivy that he was very proud that he did not soil himself when the Pickle Man appeared.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

===Kiss fail===
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|For reference, this is Chris in his kissing stance.]]

{{quote|Well, when I was going to ditch him for [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the man in the picklesuit]], Chris had his arm extended like he wanted a hug. So I was like, "sure, whatever" and was just going to give him a half assed hug. Lord, what a dumb move. I'm a small girl, so I have narrow shoulders. His [[Mass debating|large fucking arm]] basically weighed down around my neck over my shoulder and tightening, and what I could see in the corner of my eye was Chris puckering his lips and his face moving closer to mine. I did a [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|duck and turn]] to avoid it. If I seriously turned my head to get a better look, he may have well have gotten my lips. I wonder if that was what Chris was going for; the surprise kiss on the lips when the girl turns her head. Too bad that only works in [[anime]] and [[Netflix|movies]]. [[Liquid Chris|Or really suave guys]].|Emily}}

===Video===

This short clip contains the only footage known to exist.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|cl2LUzQYQMM}}</center>

==Date conversation transcript==

''See [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]].''

==Post-date conversation transcript==

'''Clyde:''' Sorry.
 '''Chris:''' What's up?
 '''Emily:''' I think we need to talk.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Emily:''' Becau— It's not me, Chris. It's you. And, you know, I was just thinking about yesterday. I really didn't appreciate you, like, [[Megan|touching]] me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Emily:''' I di— I didn't appreciate you, like, constantly touching me, okay? You'd, like, just met me, and you were touching me constantly.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I'm sorry.
 '''Emily:''' [''interrupting''] I mean, you should never do that to a woman on, like, you know, one that you just met. And especially when you try, like... You tried to kiss me, okay? That's not right at all.
 '''Chris:''' I'm so sorry, I was a little nervous. I was nervous, a little bit.
 '''Emily:''' Why would you try to kiss somebody when— If you're nervous? I mean, I thought, like, people would be nervous and ''not'' try to kiss somebody.
 '''Chris:''' I don't—
 '''Emily:''' But anyways. Let me tell you about—
 '''Chris:''' Anyway.
 '''Emily:''' You'll probably ne— You'll probably never hear from me again, Chris, because The Pickle Man was just— He was a perfect gentleman, okay? He, like, took me out on a date and paid for my movie, and, like, since he kept his hands off of me, he got, like, a little extra ''extra'' from me, and that could have been you, Chris. Okay? So— And then he took me to meet Clyde, and Clyde's, like, a perfect gentleman as well. So, I'm going to be living in his mansion from now on.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Anyway, did you get back to West Virginia okay?
 '''Emily:''' Yeah. Well, I didn't exactly go back to West Virginia; I'm going to be living with Clyde now, with, uh, with [[Julie]], and [[Blanca]], and [[Sarah]], and everyone else, Chris. Do you understand?
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Emily:''' Like, like, since... You don't understand, like, all the women that you've mistreated in the past, they're living with Clyde because he is rehabilitating them.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... I see... [''pause''] Well, I don't know what to say.
 '''Emily:''' So, do you have anything else to say?
 '''Chris:''' Umm... Well, this is the, uh... Well, uh, all I can say is, uh, I’m sorry about if you feel— If you feel— If I— That if I mistreated you, and, uh, somewhat, if you— If you felt like I, uh, did wrong.
 '''Emily:''' Because I don't know why— Why you have, like against, like, these men in the...pickle suits or whatever. Because he was just a guy in a pickle suit. I don’t understand, like, what was so, like, threatening about him. And apparently, you, like, called the cops on him? I mean, what did he do wrong? How you gotta report him? Saying that, like, a guy in a pickle suit's, like, stole your date.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I think in the past, uh, there, uh, yeah, Guy in The Pickle Suit posed as, uh, Blanca.
 '''Emily:''' But, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' And, uh...
 '''Emily:''' You, like, didn’t know this guy, and you’re already passing judgment on him, and you’re already, like… You passed judgment on thi— On Clyde, okay? Clyde’s like, the nicest guy ever, okay? He is, like… He is gonna be, like, taking care of me for the rest of the li— Rest of my life. ‘Cause he is loaded with cash.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Emily:''' Hence why his last name is "Cash".
 '''Chris:''' I see. Well, anyway, uh, if that’s what you want, uh, I can’t, uh, force you or anyth— Or anything else. So, uh—
 '''Emily:''' But, Chris, you should be careful [''Chris overlapping, indistinct'']. But you should be careful, Chris, on, like, all the women that you encounter, you better make sure that you treat them properly, do not touch them on the first date; [[Women's rights|don’t try to fucking kiss them]], and, you know, you’ll have no problems, but if you do, you know, the pickle men will come and take them away, and take them to Clyde, and he is gonna take care of them for the rest of their lives as well.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Alright. Okay. Alright, well, you— You take care of yourself.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, why don't you take care of yourself, too, Chris, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.

''For the second part of this audio, which is unrelated to Emily, see [[Hooker_incident|The Hooker Incident]].''

==Hindsight==
On 17 [[April 2009]], a [[white knight]]/counter-troll named Harbal revealed to Chris by email that Emily was a troll and that she wore a wire during her date with Chris. In said email, Chris was also directed to audios of his conversations with Emily on the website of [[The Miscreants]].<ref>[[White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2009]], Chris mentioned learning from the The Miscreants's website that Emily wore a wire during their date,<ref>[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref> suggesting that he did not ignore Harbal's email.

An individual named Emily is referred to in several chats from the [[Vanessa Saga]]. During [[Vanessa AIM Chat 6]], [[Vanessa AIM Chat 8]] and [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9]] (conducted on 21, 27 and 30 [[April 2009]] respectively) Chris was simultaneously instant messaging this Emily and chatting with [[Joshua Martinez]] (posing as [[Vanessa Hudgens]]). In Vanessa AIM Chat 8, Chris mentions having met this Emily and also says that she has a bodyguard (the reason for this is not specified). It is unknown whether or not this Emily is the same person as the Emily who met Chris in Charlottesville Fashion Square.

All the references to the Emily from the Vanessa saga came after Harbal's email. Therefore, if we assume that two Emilys are indeed the same, an explanation is needed as to why Chris continued being in contact with her despite Harbal's warning. It may that be it took a while for Chris to come to terms with the information that was sent to him. Harbal also told Chris that Ivy was a troll, and yet Chris continued being in contact with her afterwards.<ref>[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]</ref>

Emily may have been referenced by Chris In [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|episode 19]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. The [[dating education]] class on which the story focuses has a student named Emily Ryan and a student named Fred Shiflet, whose last name is the same as that of Emily. In the final exam of Date Ed Fred gets a 91 and Emily gets an 82.<ref>''[[Sonichu 9]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_5 5], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_29 29]/</ref> Emily and Fred receiving good grades might suggest that Chris's view of Emily was not completely negative when he made episode 19.

On the other hand, in the [[CWCipedia]] article [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], which Chris wrote on 19-20 [[April 2010]],<ref>See the articles's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Gal-Pals_and_Past_Sweethearts&action=history revision history].</ref> Emily's name is mentioned nowhere. The discrepancy might be explained by the fact that episode 19 was finished on 12 [[April 2009]],<ref>[[CWC Update 12 April 2009]]</ref> prior to Harbal's email, while Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts was written long afterwards.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?gng0nnylr15nd3a Post-date Conversations]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Chris and the industry

2014-08-15T01:42:26Z

Grammatical Christorian: "Be" changed to "been".

{{incomplete}}
{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous '''aspirations to work in creative industries'''. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

== Publishing ==

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in case of "original" creations. In the case of an original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action_Comics#Action_Comics_Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''Countdown'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival that of infamous artist [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

== Fan fiction and ideas from the public ==
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give equal amount of thought on the bazillion ideas fans send them. While the game companies ''do'' listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was because the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games takes a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Theoretically, it would be possible, though highly unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough the make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

== Other publication channels ==

Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels. The idea has only recently been addressed, with [[Clyde Cash]] posting Chris's comics on [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|Lulu.com]]. Chris so far has only responded by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2]], Chris has been fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task.

The thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. People have been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' — the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera, and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content'')

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional webcartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[autistic]] mind.

== Freelance Artwork ==
As of 2014, Chris has started to try and sell [[commissions|individual pieces of artwork on a made-to-order basis]]. In the creative arts (particularly in the modern, web-enabled world) selling commissions is a common practice and can be beneficial to an artist not just financially but also in terms of exposure. For Chris, this was actually a fairly smart move: trolls had been wanting him to produce more art for years and he was offering a way of doing so that benefited himself. Freelance artists, however, also have to occasionally set their personal interests aside in the name of making a sale. So far Chris has sold a work depicting him making peace with [[Clyde Cash]]'s comic persona Cly and another depicting him defeated at the hands of [[Liquid Chris]]. If producing either caused Chris his legendary [[stress]], he has yet to divulge so. Either way it's a huge step compared to how he's acted in the past when [[Simonla Rosechu|drawing something he doesn't want to]].

So far there have only been a handful of takers on his offer, likely because Chris set a rather exorbitant baseline for commissions: $50.00 for black-and-white artwork, an additional $50.00 for color and another $100.00 ''to frame it'' for the client. Setting commission prices is one of the first challenges a turned-professional artist has to face: the artist has to gauge the demand for the product they produce, compare similarly skilled artists and their asking prices and generally weigh the value of the time put into producing against the profit made. Since Chris considers his art [[Chris and His Ego|professional quality]] and has functionally [[Monthly Tugboat|nothing else to do with his time]], asking $200.00 for a framed picture of everyone's favorite electric hedgehogs is really a good idea in his mind only.

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

{{Chris and}}

The GAMe PLACe

2014-08-14T18:03:15Z

Grammatical Christorian:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (also known as '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') was a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of increasingly disruptive behavior, and repeated warnings from staff, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. After his permanent ban, Chris attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension meant that he was permanently banned from the store by law after the judgement.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his blatant racism with his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[Homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[homos|gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery, insults, and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his [[Autism|literal mind]] took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|résumé]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management and customers in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and from that point onward every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: "And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!"

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was removed from YouTube.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it was clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe were almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] without the use of commercial services.

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

After the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps reviews===

A scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]" was discovered by trolls. What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similiar to "[[Chris|Robert's]]" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] [[cards]], which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was [[Mike]] and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or toy collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] revealed many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler held and continue to hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Acceptance?==

On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security.

The [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]], who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, it seems that given [[28 October 2011|the consequences of his actions]] and his [[Autism|utter refusal to let go of childish things]], it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the Game PLace. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

==Nope, He Still Wants it to Burn to the Ground==

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on October 4th 2013, Chris posted a very angry [[Facebook]] post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "[[homos|homosexual]] [[JERKS|jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan [[Chris and hypocrisy|until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done]].

==The End of the Saga==
[[File:Retail Space For Rent.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Poster indicating the former location of the Game Place is now up for rent.]]
In June of 2014, information was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] that seemed to indicate that the Game Place had shut down for good. The historical location of the store was empty, and a poster on the store's glass front indicated that the location was up for rent. Whether the place was apparently shut down because of financial problems, Chris's curses, or other factors remains unknown.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Chris and religion

2014-08-14T16:46:59Z

Grammatical Christorian: Fixed additional, odd sentence structure(s) and grammatical quirks.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

==Chris and Forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and Blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In an e-mail from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as saying that he sometimes feels "[T]emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, this e-mail reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding a quasi-pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by a [[gal-pal]], and we can as yet speculate what it would be).

On 7 September 2013, Chris once again cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[jerkop]] while he was pitching a fit about how God has been trolling him over the course of the past several days. He goes on to state how he wishes that God would kill him, which is not very Christian-like, considering the consequences for that are very stiff (depending on the religion you believe in).
{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

Case in point, Chris may as well label God as a [[trolls|"DAMN, DIRTY TROLL"]], just as he's labeled everyone else. It's only a matter of time before God decides to get even with Chris, [[Chris_and_the_Law|either very soon]], or [[Chris_and_death|sometime in the near future]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much does Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]], he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a straw man fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Nintendo

2014-08-14T15:43:50Z

Grammatical Christorian: "chiefs competitors" changed to "chief competitors".

[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|Chris at the Nintendo shoppa]]

'''Nintendo Co., Ltd.''' (Japanese: 任天堂株式会社 ''Nintendō Kabushiki gaisha'') is a multinational company from [[Wikipedia:Kyoto|Kyoto]], Japan, which was founded in 1889 and started off with producing [[Card games|playing cards]]. During the latter half of the 20th century it started getting more and more involved in the [[video games|video game]] industry. In [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], five years before the birth of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], Nintendo brought out its first gaming console.<ref>[http://www.nindb.net/system/color-tv-game.html Color TV Game | NinDB]</ref> It is now one of three chief competitors on this market, along with [[HEXBox|Microsoft]] and [[Sony]].

==Nintendo and Chris==
[[File:Customwiimote.jpg|thumb|Chris chillin' with his Wii]]

Chris currently owns several Nintendo consoles, as well as [[List of Chris's games|a shitload of games for them]]. For a time being (before the [[PS3]] came along), ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' was the biggest game in his life and he made the hour-long [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]] in which he would tell Nintendo about his many personal problems and how much he hated the [[Sony]] [[PlayStation]]; it still remains his longest video to date.

Along with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], ''[[Pokémon]]'' was his "[[plagiarism|inspiration]]" for creating [[Sonichu]] and the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]; this was actually positively covered by ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''.

During the early epic [[Miyamoto Saga]] in [[2008]]-[[2009]], Chris was [[troll]]ed by [[Clyde Cash]] impersonating various Nintendo officials, including [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Takashi Tezuka]], [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] and the Nintendo lawyer [[Jay Z]].

In [[2010]], Nintendo's [[Flipnote Hatena]] service became a major part in Chris's ongoing [[Love Quest]]. In 2011, Chris felt betrayed by his favorite company for [[3DS Flipnote| not porting the Flipnote software quick enough]].

[[File:MiiversePost2.png|thumb|Has Chris bought a Wii U?]]

In [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|several]] [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|videos]] released in 2011, a Giant Mii AR Card [http://club.nintendo.com/rewards-details/a/21002.do] is visible on Chris's wall. This particular item is only available to Club Nintendo members, for the price of 300 coins.

On [[December 2013]], a user on [[4chan|/v/]] (a video game image board on 4chan) discovered Chris's possible Miiverse account and posted pictures of some of his posts. If this account is genuine, then Chris has spent [[tugboat|your money]] on a Wii U.

==In the comic==
[[File:NDS.PNG|thumb|300px|Seems an awfully convenient plot device - it's almost as if [[Chris and writing|Chris isn't a very talented writer.]]]]
In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], Chris uses a DS to connect to Wi-Fi, to search [[CWCville]] for villains.

==See also==
[[File:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|[[SEGA]] Nintendo!]]

*[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|Appeal to Nintendo in Redmond]]
*[[Club Nintendo]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays e-mails]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|Nintendo e-mails]]
*[[An Official Sonichu Update|Nintendo of America]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Wii Incident]]
*[[Wii Remote of Fail]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Nintendo|Nintendo]] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Clyde Cash

2014-08-14T15:34:01Z

Grammatical Christorian: Changed quotation to accurately reflect the text on the mentioned page. (Episode 10, page 32)

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Children'''
| Penny Cash
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Christian|Chris]]'s [[trolls]], often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite him in the ass, such as his [[Chris%27s_resume|unwillingness to work]], [[Chris and money|spending habits]], his [[Women's rights|poor treatment of women]] and even [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|predicted]] Chris' innate desire to [[Tomgirl Saga|dress like a woman.]]

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually within the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal pal|gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[I am STRAIGHT|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[trolls|troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected foul play.
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]

After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]

{{Clyde Saga}}

{{Trolls}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

IRC (22 December 2008)

2014-08-14T15:11:19Z

Grammatical Christorian: "Relayed" changed to "related".

An IRC chat with Chris took place on 22 [[December 2008]]. After some small talk, the chat settled into a Q&A format, with Chris answering questions posed to him by famed trolls [[Cogsdev]] and [[Vivian Gee]]. The majority of the questions were relatively innocent, especially compared to the perverse secrets that [[PandaHalo]] and [[Julie]] tended to extract from him. Were it not for the fact that Chris is Chris and his "fans" hate him, it would be much like any other celebrity interview.

Chris reveals that he'd like to visit Japan, England and France, claims that he's related to Anne Boleyn, and that he'd like to finish fifty full ''Sonichu'' issues in his lifetime. He claims he'd like to work for Archie comics, probably just because they publish the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] comic. He also reaffirms the fact that he's woefully unaware of world events, simply because he doesn't like bad news very much. He also thinks that he's handsome, and claims that his figure is so "good" because he plays ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. The chat ends with a solemn mention of the family of [[Ryan Cash]], foreshadowing the hell that his unstoppable brother [[Clyde]] would rain down upon Chris.

==Transcript==
00:25 -!- Guest [~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:25 -!- Guest is now known as Guest1
 00:26 < '''canine'''> OH
 00:26 -!- Guest1 is now known as '''ChrisChanSonichu'''
 00:26 < '''BlueSpike'''> Hi Chris!
 00:26 < '''canine'''> oh damn
 00:26 < '''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Hey.
 00:26 < '''canine'''> hey, chris
 00:26 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> hey chris
 00:26 < '''ChrisChanSonichu'''> okay, so time for a few Qs to A
 00:26 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> aye
 00:26 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> let me go get them
 00:26 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> brb
 00:26 < '''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ok
 00:26 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 14 nicks [1 ops, 0 halfops, 0 voices, 13 normal]
 00:27 < '''ChrisChanSonichu'''> is someone going to "+o" me?
 00:27 < '''BlueSpike'''> The one Op is currently away, sorry. D:
 00:27 < '''canine'''> yeah
 00:27 -!- '''cogsdev''' [~obey@Rizon-89714B66.brnt.adsl.virgin.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:27 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o '''cogsdev'''] by ChanServ
 00:27 < '''canine'''> oh, cool
 00:27 < '''BlueSpike'''> But there we go!
 00:27 < '''BlueSpike'''> Chris is here, Cogs.
 00:27 < '''canine'''> cogs!
 00:27 < '''canine'''> guess who is here
 00:27 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> cogs, guess whos here
 00:27 < '''canine'''> heh
 00:27 < '''Cameron_Van_Dierten'''> please op CWC yo
 00:27 < '''canine'''> and set #sonichu to moderated
 00:27 < '''canine'''> bitte
 00:28 < '''XanatosVanBadas'''> Hey, Chris!
 00:28 < '''ChrisChanSonichu'''> hey
 00:28 < '''XanatosVanBadas'''> How's it going?
 00:28 < '''XanatosVanBadas'''> :)
 00:28 -!- mode/#sonichu [+m] by '''cogsdev'''
 00:28 <@'''cogsdev'''> Hi Chris, just let me get the questions
 00:29 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o '''ChrisChanSonichu'''] by '''cogsdev'''
 00:29 < '''canine'''> yeah
 00:29 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> The first Official Meeting on the PSN's Home in the Sonichu Home Clubhouse will be on Janurary 2, 2009 at 9:00 PM, EST. Still a few slots left open, so first-come, first-serve.
 00:29 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> actually, like about 20 slots or so. :)
 00:29 <@'''cogsdev'''> OK, are you ready to answer some questions?
 00:30 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> the topic will be a Pre-Upload reading of Episode 18.
 00:30 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yep.
 00:30 <@'''cogsdev'''> okay
 00:30 <@'''cogsdev'''> Would you get a tattoo? If so, what would it be of?
 00:30 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> No, I would not get a tattoo.
 00:30 <@'''cogsdev'''> What are your views on todays economic crisis?
 00:31 -!- '''vivitheg''' [~clydethel@Rizon-8189FBA3.hsd1.ca.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:31 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o '''vivitheg'''] by ChanServ
 00:31 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I do not pay attention to bad news details.
 00:31 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> so, no opinion.
 00:31 <@'''cogsdev'''> What are three things you wish to accomplish before you die?
 00:31 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> although, I am aware of them.
 00:31 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> hmm...
 00:32 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu''' Marry my Female Sweetheart and have our daughter for one; that's a given.
 00:32 -!- Jerkhief [~chatzilla@Rizon-7599AD8.phil.east.verizon.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:32 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> finish my comic series with numerous comics at least.
 00:32 -!- Jerkhief [~chatzilla@Rizon-7599AD8.phil.east.verizon.net] has left #sonichu []
 00:32 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> by numerous, I mean at least 50 books
 00:32 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> uh...
 00:33 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and live my life like I normally do.
 00:34 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and better.
 00:34 <@'''cogsdev'''> a fan writes: "Last time you said you won the Parappa the Rapper contest, but I looked it up and it said someone named Adam Stackhouse had won! Was there a mistake made?"
 00:34 -!- asdf1XX0 [~chatzilla@Rizon-7599AD8.phil.east.verizon.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:35 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I was in the Top Ten to win the one grand prize, and the remaining 9 to win a copy of the PSP game, PSP-1000 skins, charm and hat.
 00:35 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I WON one of the 9 PSP games.
 00:35 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and all that.
 00:35 <@'''cogsdev'''> okay
 00:35 <@'''cogsdev'''> What countries in the world you would like to visit and why?
 00:36 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Japan; Anime and Videogames and culture.
 00:36 -!- Guest [~Guest@Rizon-BFC8F9D4.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:36 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> England.
 00:36 -!- Guest is now known as Guest34111
 00:36 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> France
 00:37 <@'''cogsdev'''> any others?
 00:37 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> those two, because I'm part British, French and Cherokee; I'm a decendant from Anne Bolyn's Family; in relation to her being an aunt.
 00:37 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> *mother of Queen Elizabeth I
 00:37 <@'''cogsdev'''> ah
 00:38 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> no others come up at the moment.
 00:38 <@'''cogsdev'''> okay
 00:38 <@'''cogsdev'''> What is your favorite brand of underwear?
 00:38 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Maybe Australia.
 00:38 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> FOTL
 00:38 <@'''cogsdev'''> Who would you rather have publish the Sonichu comic? DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, or some other publishing company?
 00:39 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Archie Comics
 00:39 <@'''cogsdev'''> a concerned fan writes: "You mentioned there being a Sonichu Clubhouse on Playstation Home. I went to check it out and found nothing there! What happened?"
 00:40 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> a bug with Home Beta; removes all furniture behind my back, and I have to boot up my Namco Museum Beta to even bring up my Arcade Machines and Namco Chairs.
 00:40 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> *all furniture in the Clubhouse.
 00:40 -!- asdf1XX0 [~chatzilla@Rizon-7599AD8.phil.east.verizon.net] has left #sonichu []
 00:40 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I still have majority of the furniture in my apartment/summer house
 00:40 -!- Sonichu_Fan [~chatzilla@Rizon-7599AD8.phil.east.verizon.net] has joined #sonichu
 00:41 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> still need to regain my echochrome and Ice Breaker unlocks.
 00:41 <@'''cogsdev'''> From CutieBolt54: "Do you like going to the doctor/dentist? Needles and drills and stuff scare me!"
 00:41 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> AFTER Sony fixes that bug.
 00:41 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I have no fears with docs or dentists.
 00:41 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Eh, What's Up, Doc?
 00:42 <@'''cogsdev'''> What ever happened to Bill the Scientist?
 00:42 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> How should I know what happens to Bill? That's NOA's thing.
 00:42 <@'''cogsdev'''> oh, i thought he was your creation
 00:42 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> assumed wrong.
 00:43 <@'''cogsdev'''> ah okay
 00:43 <@'''cogsdev'''> We all know Britney Spears is the one for you musically. However, would you consider checking out and reviewing music from bands such as Front 242, Ministry, The Sisters of Mercy, Fields of the Nephilim, Killing Joke, Skinny Puppy, etc.?
 00:43 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I am open-minded to all artists.
 00:43 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> so yes
 00:44 <@'''cogsdev'''> here's another: What did you think of Episode One of Star Wars?
 00:44 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu>''' I've enjoyed 5/6 Episodes, and Clone Wars; didn't see EP3 yet.
 00:45 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> although I am aware of 3's story.
 00:45 <@'''cogsdev'''> We know now that the PS3 is your best life upgrade ever. What could top that?
 00:45 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> my Female Sweetheart.
 00:45 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> 'cha
 00:46 <@'''cogsdev'''> Chris, what do you think is your most desirable trait?
 00:47 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that depends on the woman's P.O.V.; my handsomness, gentleman charms, sharp, smart wit, etc.
 00:47 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> possibly good in bed, but that's to be determined.
 00:47 <@'''cogsdev'''> a fan writes: A friend said that he did not like Sonichu, so I gave him a kick the in teeth! Was that right to do?
 00:49 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> well, he/she is entitled to his/her opinion, and violence over a petty detail of disintrest is discouraged. BUT if he/she/them put up a hate site, send threat letters or act violent physically or deep in emotions, then they deserve a good kick in the head.
 00:50 <@'''cogsdev'''> in a similar vein: If a troll were to confront you in real life with violent intentions, what would you do?
 00:50 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it depends...
 00:51 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu>''' if the troll was easy to recognize, then I would confront, give a good talk-to, then if he/she strikes me after that, then I'd strike back.
 00:51 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> if NOT easy to recognize...
 00:52 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> unless that person makes it obvious IRL, like a upfront self-introduction and strikes, then I'd just be on my peaceful way.
 00:53 <@'''cogsdev'''> Have you played any MMORPGs? (massively multiplayer online role playing games)
 00:53 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Warhawk.
 00:54 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> oh, you mean like warhammer; no.
 00:54 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> warcraft?
 00:54 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> not played either, btw
 00:55 <@'''cogsdev'''> okay
 00:55 <@'''cogsdev'''> If you could have any girl in the world, fictionalor non fictional, who would it be?
 00:55 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> is Warhawk considered a MMORPG?
 00:55 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ...
 00:55 <@'''cogsdev'''> i didn't know it was an RPG
 00:55 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> INS either, but I'm just asking.
 00:56 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ...
 00:56 <@'''cogsdev'''> well, from what i saw of it, it was a shooter, but i haven't played so i'm not sure
 00:56 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ok
 00:56 <@'''cogsdev'''> but moving on to the next question: If you could have any girl in the world, fictional or non fictional, who would it be?
 00:57 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Britney Spears.
 00:57 <@'''cogsdev'''> What do you like about Japanese culture, and what would you do in Japan?
 00:58 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> their technology, kung-fu, ninja, peaceful ways of life outside of violence. SHOP for Playable Games on my Game Boy, GBA, DS or PSP at least.
 00:59 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> as well as explore.
 00:59 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Region-Free Code.
 00:59 <@'''cogsdev'''> Why do you think so many people give you hate?
 00:59 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> UMD Movies have a Region Code, so that's a no-go.
 01:00 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> they're probably jealous, but they have nothing to be jealous of; I'm only a simple human being, with life's ups and downs; outcast-like, so much that can be learned about me, like most others, etc.
 01:01 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> *and to be understood.
 01:01 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'll take one more question for now.
 01:01 <@'''cogsdev'''> okay
 01:02 <@'''cogsdev'''> oh i lost the question list hold on a second please
 01:02 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ok
 01:03 <@'''vivitheg'''> I got it cogs.
 01:03 <@'''vivitheg'''> How much exercise do you get a day to keep up such a good figure?
 01:05 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Plenty; I play Guitar Hero, Rock Revolution or Rock Band (FINALLY RELEASED THE PATCH for Rock Band; I can play it NOW with my PS3 Les Paul!)
 01:05 <@'''vivitheg'''> just some final comments before you leave
 01:05 <@'''vivitheg'''> A gay fan just wants to say: I just want you to know that despite your hatred for my kind, I want you to know that you are really handsome.
 01:06 -!- Guest [~Guest@Rizon-E56A4103.hsd1.ga.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
 01:06 -!- Guest [~Guest@Rizon-E56A4103.hsd1.ga.comcast.net] has quit []
 01:07 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> thank you, yet I feel wierded; no offense.
 01:07 <@'''vivitheg'''> And Ryan Cash's family (the boy who commited suicide over Sonichu) wants to let you know that they hope his departure from his mortal coil has not affected you that much.
 01:07 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it is a sad loss, and I offer my condolences to the family.
 01:08 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I've had an emotional moment, but I'm okay now.
 01:08 <@'''vivitheg'''> Do you have a message for the family?
 01:08 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Try to move on and live life as peacefully as possible; I'm sure Ryan would have wanted his family to be happy as much as possible.
 01:09 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I know that God and Jesus would have told them the same thing from the bible.
 01:11 <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I gtg; I'll answer more questions after the Holiday season. Peace and Merry Christmas, Happy Haunaka, Happy Chaunaka, Happy Kawanza, and all the rest of the holidays as well. :)
 01:11 -!- '''ChrisChanSonichu''' [~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net] has quit [Quit: '''ChrisChanSonichu''']
 01:11 -!- mode/#sonichu [-m] by '''cogsdev'''
 01:11 -!- Sonichu_Fan is now known as Jerkhief
 01:11 -!- '''cogsdev''' changed the topic of #sonichu to: Chris-chan Hate Chat Please Change Nick By Typing /nick yourname REMEMBER TO STAY STRAIGHT!!! ALL TROLLS WILL GET A GREAT BIG HUG

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:IRC]]

BlueSpike PSN Chat 1

2014-08-14T15:07:26Z

Grammatical Christorian: Minor alterations to more accurately transcribe the letter.

'''BlueSpike PSN Chat 1''' was the first [[PlayStation Network]] chat between "[[Julie]]" ([[BlueSpike]]) and [[Chris]], held on 16 February 2009.

While this is the first of their PSN chats, they had been in communication for more than six weeks at this point, and chatted many times via Mumble and other methods.

==Summary==

This chat takes place just before the death of Chris's [[Aunt Corrina]], and his odd grasp of empathy is very much on display. He easily transitions from the death of his aunt to talking about the possibility of a three-way with Julie, but later talks about crying with his mother over her sister's illness. He says it sometimes takes some time for bad news to sink in before he reacts. (Corrina died 15 days after this chat took place, on 21 February.) In regards the threesome, Julie points out the [[hypocrisy]] of Chris's refusal to bring another man into the relationship, since he'd be happy to bring in another woman. When pressed, Chris says he'd be fine with sharing Julie with another man, although whether he actually meant it is an open question.

Other aspects of Chris and Julie's conversation cover more mundane topics. We get a glimpse of an ordinary day in Chris's life - breakfast from [[Burger King]], dinner from IHOP, feeding the family [[cats]], a meeting with his counselor [[Rocky Shoemaker]], coloring comic pages, and playing video games in between. He is, as usual, slacking off on the comics he has promised to produce.

At one point, BlueSpike tries to get Chris's mother [[Barbara]] online, and while Chris is away he goes into a gleeful fit about "waking the Snorlax." However, it turns out that Barbara is too tired (and overweight and immobile) to come up and talk.

Towards the end of the chat, Chris talks a bit about his employment prospects. His [[Bob Chandler|father]], apparently, has informed him that his autism would make it hard to hold down a regular job. Chris claims that he plans to look for volunteer work instead, but he seems confused as to the basic definition of "volunteer" - he thinks he can do volunteer work and still get paid. When Julie points this out, he suddenly becomes afraid that Julie might leave him, and presses her on her plans to come visit him soon. She puts him off by promising more details in her upcoming letter, and the trolls mock Chris as he returns to work on his comics.

==Julie's Letter==

[[Image:LetterfromJulie(1of2).jpg|thumb|The letter that Julie sent Chris.]]

{{quotebox|2009 Feb. 15

Dear Chris-Chan Sonichu aka 
Christian Weston Chandler,

I'm writing you a letter like you wanted me to though the "snail mail". It's a lot harder to write a letter then it is to tyPe one. :P But I love you enough that I'll do your request but e-mail is SO much easier so don't expect me to do this again any time soon. I also have an important message. As it turns out I will sadly not be able to make the trip to Virginia. I just don't have the money to get transportation to go there. So I will not be able to meet you in person unless you can possibly come here instead. :S Maybe now that you have this letter you can finally prove to your parents I'm real and we can meet in person and much MUCH more if you know what I mean. MEOW~ :3 I need some REAL LIFE milk from my "milk MAN". Also I'm thinking of attending a little church since you seem to love it so much and I want more things in comon between us. I hoPe you have a good supply of "rain-coats" and I'm SURE we're going to run out. Tell me when you get this letter. Also I hope you enjoy the pics included a friend took them with their camera and Printed them out.

With tons of Love, 
Julie Milvana XOXOXO

[drawing of Sonic's head]

PS: As soon you recieve this letter, please read this letter out loud on a YouTube video, proving to those slanderous trolls that you have a true and honest loving heartsweet. I can't wait to use your face as a chair. ;)}}

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' How ya doing?
 '''Julie:''' Chris, you don't s-you don't seem too broken up about the fact that your aunt died.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, like I said, I'm still recovering. I mean, I'm hurtin' inside.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah, all right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so, uh, ya got, so, so ya got the answer to my question that I asked you?
 '''Julie:''' What question?
 '''Chris:''' In the message I sent ya earlier.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, that. Could you tell me it again? I forget.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah, I basically asked, uh, how you feel about a threesome.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, well, uh...
 '''Chris:''' After we’ve done, like our-
 '''Julie:''' Well that is something I want to talk about. Chris, you said you don’t want it with two men, 'cause it would be gay, but if I do it with two women, then it's the same thing with me. It's kinda hypocritical.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hmm, uh, let me put it—let me put it to you this way...
 '''Julie:''' [''interrupts''] What? I'm sorry but I'm really offended you would, uh, say that. I-I-I'm sorry but I'm somewhat offended.
 '''Chris:''' I'm so—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
 '''Julie:''' Uh—That-that is okay, but, but, but that is just kind of offending. I-I just thought I would let you know that it’s quite offending to me. Because you-you know how when I say—
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting, indistinct'']
 '''Julie:''' ‘Cause, Chris-
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Julie:''' -if you're willing to do that, then I would like a threesome with two men.
 '''Chris:''' Ehh... You know what? Uh... That's fine, that's fine.
 '''Julie:''' Really?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' You know, after we do it a few times, uh... Yeah, you know, if you want, if you really want to do it with two guys, I’ll let’ch—I’ll—I’ll—I will respect you for that.
 '''Julie:''' Thank you. I appreciate that.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. That's cool.
 '''Julie:''' So is there anything else you want to talk about?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. Hmm... Yeah, like I—like I, yeah, I was sa—I was sad that Au—that my Aunt Corina died.
 '''Julie:''' I thought you said she was dying.
 '''Chris:''' [''overlapping''] Yeah. Yeah, still dying, yeah. I’m sorry, I’m—I’m, I go—I said the wrong word; that was my mistake.
 '''Julie:''' That's okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but she i—she is dying. She, uh, she smoked.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, cancer? Chris? Chriiis?
 '''Chris:''' Sorry about that.
 '''Julie:''' [''interrupting, indistinct'']
 '''Chris:''' I pressed a, pressed the button on my headset.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, can I ask you a quick question?
 '''Chris:''' Sure.
 '''Julie:''' Since you can use your computer now, uh, when are you going to upload the fighting video and, um, what else? The video of our date.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, the video of our date. Yeah, there's a whole line [unintelligible] My voice didn't get recorded on that while your voice did.
 '''Julie:''' Huh, that's weird.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm just gonna ha—so I’m—so I’m—I’m gonna… So soon enough I will figure out how I can add my voice to it and I will, uh, pretty much wing it in adding my voice around your voice.
 '''Julie:''' All right. And what about the, uh, fighting video?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I wi-I will do that soon.
 '''Julie:''' All right. All right, and another thing—
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Julie—
 '''Julie:''' -that I'd like to tell you about—You should really, I'm serious- you should really, really, really, fix your biological clock. Please.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I tell ya-I tell ya what, I fell asleep last night about 6:30 and I woke up this morning about 6.
 '''Julie:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' So I'll probably be falling asleep earlier tonight.
 '''Julie:''' Because I really want you to be able to answer me as soon as you get there.
 '''Chris:''' I understand... Uh, as soon as she—as soon as—as soon as I get there?
 '''Julie:''' No, no, I mean, I-I want you to be answering as soon as I send a message.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, I'm try—I’m sorry; say that again?
 '''Julie:''' I want you to be able to reply like, five minutes after I send a message.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I understand. It's just that, you know, I'm not on my PS3 or my PC all the time, and-
 '''Julie:''' [''interrupting''] Neither am I. But I’m still able to make time.
 '''Chris:''' -go out. Yeah. Okay. That's cool; I understand. But yes, anyway, let me get back to what I was talking about. Yeah, uh, when I—yeah, my mom pi-I uh, talked, my mom picked me at the, uh, mall while I was out earlier today, and my father dropped me off there while I was at IHOP, so my father could get, like, a senior discount on the food there and then he could bring, uh, my sh-, bring me my sandwich home. Yeah, but anyway, the poi—anyway, the point is, my mom—when my mom got there, she picked me up. She-she broke the news to me there, and we—we basically cried on each other's shoulders.
 '''Julie:''' Aww.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, when I hear bad news the first time, sometimes, I mean, like, you know, sometimes, the hearing hits me, but, you know, but then, like, eh, it takes like a few minutes for me, for it to, uh, get in there and hit me worse, y’know? So it took like—it took like a few minutes before I start crying and I did cry.
 '''Julie:''' Aw, I'm sorry for your loss.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I appreciate that. So anyway, I think I was there for my mother to help comfort and, uh, she comforted me back.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Anyways, she's gonna le—gonna let me go to the funeral.
 '''Julie:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' My mom.
 '''Julie:''' Oh!
 '''Chris:''' I mean, she wouldn't let me go with her this weekend to visit. [''Chris gets phone call''] Excuse me. [''Hello!''] I’m okay; how are you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Oh, God! [''laughing, even more high-pitched''] Oh, my God!
 '''Chris:''' [''still on the phone''] Yeah.
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''to Mumble, laughing, unintelligible sounds''] Let me turn my headset off, but WHAT THE FUCK?
 '''Chris:''' [''on phone''] All right, Mom—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Mom? [''indistinct incredulous sounds'']
 '''Chris:''' I'll come down soon and get my, uh, sandwich.
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''stifling a laugh'']
 '''Chris:''' All right, love you too. Bye-bye, Mommy. [to Julie] Yeah, just, that was my mom telling me to, uh, come down, to come downstairs to get the sandwich my dad brought home for me.
 '''Julie:''' What was that? I didn’t hear you.
 '''Chris:''' W-What was that?
 '''Julie:''' I didn't hear you. Can you repeat that?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, certainly. I said that my-that my mother would call me, tell me to go downstairs and, uh, get the sandwich my dad brought home for me from IHOP.
 '''Julie:''' [''stifled chuckle''] Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Excuse me.
 '''Julie:''' What was that?
 '''Chris:''' Eh, just a small, just a small burp.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, all right.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Um, yeah, well, you know, thing... Oh, what wa—what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, my, uh, mom was to go visit Aunt Corina this weekend but she didn’t—she did not invite me along because somebody-she figured somebody had, because my, I needed to stay home, help, uh, you know, be there for my father in case something happens to him and I got, and I had to take care of the cats.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah. Hey, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' Someday I actually want to talk to your mother. Do you think I could have her phone number?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, uh, I, let's see. I believe you have my cell phone number.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' All right, look, all right, well, it's a confidential thing here, so, uh, uh, I'll give you the home phone number. My father will answer it... Uh, I'm afraid I haven't told him about you, yet—
 '''Julie:''' Aw.
 '''Chris:''' But you know I did tell my mom about it.
 '''Julie:''' Huh.
 '''Chris:''' So most likely he will answer it or possibly she will answer. But-
 '''Julie:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' -Y’know, just, uh, y’know… You could tell him that, uh, you just want to talk to "Barbara." That's her name, "Barbara."
 '''Julie:''' All right. So what's the number?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean... All right, so it's area 434.
 '''Julie:''' So 434.
 '''Chris:''' 990.
 '''Julie:''' 990.
 '''Chris:''' 0198.
 '''Julie:''' 0...
 '''Chris:''' 198.
 '''Julie:''' 01...0198?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' All right. 'Cause, just—
 '''Chris:''' That’s okay.
 '''Julie:''' -I want to talk to your mother.
 '''Chris:''' I understand.
 '''Julie:''' ‘Cause I think I should get to know her better.
 '''Chris:''' I hear you.
 '''Julie:''' What about your father? Does he have a phone?
 '''Chris:''' Well, we—we—we’re all-we all live in the same house.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah, but just in case he's out. [Chris overlapping, indistinct] Because I want to be able to talk to your father about me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, like I said, he’ll pro—he’ll—he’ll be more likely pick up the, uh, home phone than my mother will.
 '''Julie:''' Yes, Chris but I'll feel better if I got his, like, cell phone in case it’s an emergency and you're not...able to pick up.
 '''Chris:''' Um, hmm, wait. Uh, uh, wait. Could you repeat that?
 '''Julie:''' All right. Like, if it's, an emergency and you're not there or something. Like if you're not able to pick up, I'd really feel it would be better if I had your father's number so I could be able contact anyone in your family.
 '''Chris:''' Well, the phone number I just gave you is also my father's phone number.
 '''Julie:''' Like, do you—is that his, like-that's his cell phone?
 '''Chris:''' No, that's the home phone.
 '''Julie:''' No, I mean like... Does-he doesn’t have a cell phone?
 '''Chris:''' He does not have a cell phone.
 '''Julie:''' Oh. What about your mother? Is that... hers... or is that the home phone, too?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no. That’s the ho-I gave you the home phone number.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, all right. What about your mother; does she have a cell phone?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... No, she does not have a cell phone.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, all right.
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're thinking about getting her one.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah. If so, I really need the number, just in case.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'd letcha talk to my mother and maybe, uh, she'll give it to you.
 '''Julie:''' All right. Oh, can I talk to your mother right now? You think?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I don't know, I mean, I got you in my ear piece.
 '''Julie:''' Do you think I can talk to your mother? ‘Cause that’d be great; I could get to know her really quickly.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you could try calling the home phone now, and, uh, she could get ‘er.
 '''Julie:''' But I would feel better... I would feel better if I could just talk to her on the PSN, ‘cause I would like to see her.
 '''Chris:''' Mm. All right, well, I don’t know if I could get her up here, but, uh, hang on.
 '''Julie:''' [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' I’ll see. Be right back.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Ohh… We just summoned the Snorlax! [''giggling'']

[''long pause, Family Guy heard in the background'']

'''BlueSpike:''' Oh, my God, guys, we woke the Snorlax! Oh sh-! We woke the Snorlax! Help! It’s gonna sit on me! Help! You’re right. You’re right. Oh, God. [hyperventilating sounds] All right. Let’s do this. [claps hands] Come on! [another pause] I wish Chris would stop listening to Family Guy. Come on, Snorlax. Come on, Snorlax! [laughs, starts singing] Let’s go, Ghostbusters! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Let’s go, Ghostbusters, let’s go... [dissolves in giggles] I’m waiting ‘til he gets here. You’ll see! [pause] I don’t think Barbara has g-is coming up the stairs.
 '''Chris:''' Gonna wait ‘til my mom, gets, uh... She’s feeling exhausted. ‘Cause, like I told ya, she just got home from her trip to, uh, to Richmond, uh, you know. Meanwhile, she and Uncle Tom've been going down to see Aunt Corina in the hospital she’s been.
 '''Julie:''' Oh... Okay. You think I could talk to her tomorrow?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, probably, if you call on the home phone.
 '''Julie:''' No, I mean on the PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Well, it depends on if I can get her up here at the time we have our chat on the w—on the PSN here.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah, ‘cause I’m not able to get a phone, remember?
 '''Chris:''' Wha—Wait. [''says something that is interrupted by BlueSpike'']
 '''Julie:''' That’s why I didn’t get—that’s—that-that’s why I didn’t get-that’s why I didn’t give you a phone number before, because I don’t have a phone.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Julie:''' Bu—I-It’s gonna have to be on the PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait a minute. You don’t ha—you don’t have a phone.
 '''Julie:''' No, I don’t.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. So... If you wanted to call my home phone number, what would you be calling on?
 '''Julie:''' I don’t know. A friend’s cell phone?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I see. All right. Well, next time, uh, we have a PSN chat, I will, uh, see if my mom will be able to come upstairs.
 '''Julie:''' All right. Thank you.
 '''Chris:''' So, how was your day, then?
 '''Julie:''' Oh, it was good.
 '''Chris:''' That’s good. Anything of, uh, importance? Or anything exciting?
 '''Julie:''' No, nothing.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, still making you’re g-okay and all.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, you know, I talked to [sounds like Rye] about, uh [???] work, and also, uh, my father gave talk to me about the occupation today, uh... Yeah, he revealed to me that, uh, because of my autism that if some—the, uh, workers are-would be afra—probably would likely be afraid to hire me. So it’s not like I’m not trying but I am trying.
 '''Julie:''' Chris, didn’t you say a while ago that you weren’t autistic?
 '''Chris:''' No, I said I was high-functioning autistic. It’s-it’s [???] that, uh, [BlueSpike overlapping], that-that revealed that information to me that it was listed on Wikipedia that said that is not classified as a disability.
 '''Julie:''' Yeah, so—
 '''Chris:''' Or, like a—or like a handicap. Somethin’ like that. But—y-but y—but I am classif—but that is, I am classified as disabled under my Social Security.
 '''Julie:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' But I am looking for the volunteer work.
 '''Julie:''' Chris, I don’t think you can get volunteer n-work that is—I think, uh, uh, it won’t. I don’t think it’s going to work anymore with you working at that pace. I-I-It’s-It’s not—
 '''Chris:''' Julie—
 '''Julie:''' -gonna work. It ju—it just won’t.
 '''Chris:''' Julie, please. Please, Julie, I—I’m—I am gonna find volunteer work that pays.
 '''Julie:''' I-I-I doubt it. I’m sorry, Chris; I love you, but I doubt it.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Julie, you’re not breaking up with me now, are you?
 '''Julie:''' No. I am not. I am not breaking up with you.
 '''Chris:''' All right, just, like, you know, if you cou-I’d appreciate if you’d at least just give me the chance.
 '''Julie:''' I-I, I’m giving you—I’m giving you a great chance. I-I-I am. And, uh, but Chris. The-the word "volunteer"... I-i-it wou-means you’re doing it without pay. Volunteer work that pays... That’s contradicting volunteer work. I’m not breaking up with you; I’m tr—
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but—
 '''Julie:''' —I’m trying—I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to help you and me. I’m trying to help our relationship... I’m trying to help our relationship soar, okay, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I-I appreciate your help. And I’m attempting your help. Oh, some AT failed B-b—uh, but trust me. It’ll work out in the end.
 '''Julie:''' [exasperated sigh] I doubt that, Chris. I’m not breaking up with you, but, I-I-I do have my doubts.
 '''Chris:''' Mm. Your doubts are reasonable.
 '''Julie:''' Thank you.
 '''Chris:''' And I—and I wi—and I—and I—and I am shooting for your, uh, for your ability to think and such.
 '''Julie:''' Thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, but you still—you still—you still coming to, uh, vi—visit here, visit with me, right?
 '''Julie:''' I discussed that in my letter. I discussed that in my letter. I, uh, I’d rather not talk about it, ‘cause, uh, I discussed it in my letter.
 '''Chris:''' That’s fine. I understand. I’ll wait for your letter.
 '''Julie:''' All right.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, before, uh, before I go—before I got the news about my aunt, uh, my day’s been okay.
 '''Julie:''' That’s nice. What did you do?
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Julie:''' Did you go outside today?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I went out. I went to go meet with Rocky today.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, that. Anything else?
 '''Chris:''' Well, let’s see... Because I woke up at 6:00, uh, I went to feed my cat, and then I, uh, then I did some, then I did some work on the, pl—on the pl—well, I played some—I played some Sonic for a little while, then I went out with my father to Burger King, went out to breakfast.
 '''Julie:''' Oh. Oh cool.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh, I came back home, and, I, uh, did some more colorful work.
 '''Julie:''' Oh. Oh! Did you work on any comic pages today, ‘cause, ‘cause, you know... What’s today? Yeah, today’s Monday, remember?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, [''unintelligible'']
 '''Julie:''' What you said?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah?
 '''Julie:''' You would upload comics by the week’s end, and I believe this is the week’s end. Where are the comic pages?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Actually, I’ll, uh, I’ll, uh ge-I’ll get ‘em uploaded after we-after we finish up here.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, all right.
 '''Chris:''' But I ha-the thing is, but they won’t be colored in.
 '''Julie:''' Oh, all right.
 '''Chris:''' But I’ll get ‘em uploaded and I... You’ll-and you’ll see at least the first three pages tonight.
 '''Julie:''' ‘Cause you could always color ‘em later, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' All right, tha-that’s nice. Sorry, I hiccupped.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I didn’t hear it. [''laughs'']
 '''Julie:''' Huh.
 '''Chris:''' I love you, Julie.
 '''Julie:''' I love you, too Chris.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I-I’ll go, I’ll go get ready to upload the comics.
 '''Julie:''' Can we talk after?
 '''Chris:''' ...Pages. Uh, yeah, sure, if you stay on your PSN account, and, uh, I’ll come back and open up a new chat window.
 '''Julie:''' All right, and just send me the invite.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to you later.
 '''Julie:''' All right.
 '''Chris:''' All right. Bye-bye.
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''coughs''] Thank. Fucking. God! [''unintelligible'']
 [''laughter'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''unintelligible''] Buh-bye. So, yeah, I’m gonna, yeah. Don’t worry.
 [''more laughter'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think I’m actually—I’m making some kind of progress with Chris at least.
 '''Clyde:''' No, you’re not. You’re [''unintelligible, interrupted by more voices'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''unintelligible'']
 [''voices overlapping'']
 '''Troll:''' Jesus Christ!
 '''Clyde:''' Volunteer work! With pay!
 [''silence'']
 '''Troll:''' Whatever.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, good.
 '''Troll:''' Who cares? That wasn—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Guys-

{{succession|label=[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]|prevlink=[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1|First]]|nextlink=[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2|BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]|}}

==Links==

* [http://www.mediafire.com/?m3enwzztwmq Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:BlueSpike PSN Chats]]

Chris and the industry

2014-08-14T14:38:46Z

Grammatical Christorian: Odd sentence structure.

{{incomplete}}
{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous '''aspirations to work in creative industries'''. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

== Publishing ==

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in case of "original" creations. In the case of an original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action_Comics#Action_Comics_Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''Countdown'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival that of infamous artist [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

== Fan fiction and ideas from the public ==
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give equal amount of thought on the bazillion ideas fans send them. While the game companies ''do'' listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was because the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games takes a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Theoretically, it would be possible, though highly unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough the make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

== Other publication channels ==

Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels. The idea has only recently been addressed, with [[Clyde Cash]] posting Chris's comics on [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|Lulu.com]]. Chris so far has only responded by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2]], Chris has been fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task.

The thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. People have been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' — the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera, and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content'')

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional webcartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[autistic]] mind.

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and religion

2014-08-14T14:23:11Z

Grammatical Christorian: Missing letter in quoted phrase.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

==Chris and Forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and Blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In email from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as telling that he sometimes feels "[T]emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, email reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding kinda pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by a [[gal-pal]] and we can as yet speculate what is it).

On 7 September 2013, Chris once again cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[jerkop]] while he was pitching a fit about how God has been trolling him over the course of the past several days. He goes on to state he wishes God would kill him, which is not very Christian-like, considering the consequences for that are very stiff (depending on the religion you believe in).
{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

Case in point, Chris may as well label God as a [[trolls|"DAMN, DIRTY TROLL"]], just as he's labeled everyone else. It's only a matter of time before God decides to get even with Chris, [[Chris_and_the_Law|either very soon]], or [[Chris_and_death|sometime in the near future]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much does Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]], he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a straw man fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}