CWCki - User contributions [en]

Destruction Of Chris' House

2014-01-11T10:37:03Z

Grandma Nazi: Can we not put speculation on here?

{{Quote| FIRE! 2:00 AM. 911 arrived ten minutes later. Did everything they could; started downstairs; bathroom; electrical; made it to the roof. Considering EVERYTHING, but my mom, both dogs, me, and Lucy and my iPhone, shoes, clothes, whatnot on our backs made it out... Considered physically lost.|Chris, January 10 2014}}

On January 10, 2014, Chris claimed via Facebook that his house was destroyed by a fire.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

==Nature of the Blaze==
The cause of the fire is still being investigated.

According to Chris, the fire started in the downstairs bathroom, and was of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|electrical]] nature; most likely due to faulty wiring or from the short-circuiting of some electrical device. Chris, soon after making the initial posts, left a comment on the Facebook page of Keurig Coffee and Brewers, blaming the coffee brewer's faulty wiring for having "sparked my power socket" and starting the blaze.

Why Chris was brewing coffee at 2am in his bathroom is not yet known, but it is likely due to his "biological clock" and the piles of junk cluttering his kitchen.

==Victims and Survivors==
Chris reports that he, his mother, his pet dogs and Lucy the Cat escaped the blaze unharmed. It is unknown as of yet what has happened to the remaining Chandler pets; whether they were deceased prior to the blaze, or whether they were tragically lost in the fire. Many of the cats spend much of their time outdoors and could be presumed to have survived if they were alive at the time of the fire.

==Destruction of Property==
From what Chris has written so far, it can be assumed that the Chandler's escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to save his wallet, medication for his mother, as well as some clothes and shoes, as well as his iPhone.

Until more information is released, we can assume that anything else in 14 Branchland Court is potentially lost to either the fire or to the water used to put it out.

==What This Means For Chris==
In an email, Chris claimed he and his mother are staying in a hotel until the house is repaired.

User talk:Silvana'sBottomBitch

2012-11-09T20:44:33Z

Grandma Nazi: You might find this article interesting.

== You might find this article interesting. ==

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/A-Logging [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 12:44, 9 November 2012 (PST)

CWCki talk:Community Portal

2012-11-09T01:53:04Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Forum link */

are there any other pages that need adding? --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 22:30, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*Maybe either a general user decision area or a general talk area? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 04:56, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
* I agree with Eniggy, there should be a general discussion area for users to discuss general topics on Chrissy boy and his latest exploits. Please Coggy, make this a reality! --[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 23:47, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

this thing was a failure, i suggest merging everything back EXCEPT for speculation. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:03, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:Also I demand a new admin besides champ because he's not here a lot now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:03, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
::Just someone who's on here a lot or someone with web editing experience? You could see if someone like Anonymax would do it, he does tons of editing on here everyday. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:33, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::i don't think web editing is going to help in this position. i'd nominate anonymax too [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:34, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::: I vote merge too. And if you guys need help I'll provide some assistance.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 20:54, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I also vote for merge. Speculation overflowed while the other sections barely had anything on them.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:12, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::: I agree merge,also Clyde should be admin.--[[User:EpicBeta|EpicBeta]] 21:49, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

== Serious discussion overhauling this portal ==
Policy/Suggestions/General and that's it. (Policy would have both editing policy and community policy) -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 08:53, 2 November 2010 (PDT)

== Sightings ==

*question, where should sightings be put under? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:55, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Need new URL to Offshore CWCki ==

The link is dead. Can someone fix that?
[[User:Masterspark|Masterspark]] 17:49, 14 January 2011 (PST)

The Offshore CWCki has been dead, was there a reason? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 21:41, 11 February 2011 (PST)
*[[User:Clydec|Yes.]] [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:24, 12 February 2011 (PST)

== Speculation page ==

To prevent what happened [[Talk:Tomgirl_Pictures|here]], can we have the speculation page back? Offshore cwcki failed, and I know a lot of higher-ups dislike speculation, but at least if we had that page back it would be contained to one area. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:06, 2 May 2011 (PDT)

== New forum location ==

forum link should be
http://cwcki.forumer.com/

tru dat. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 03:10, 5 January 2012 (PST)

== TIME TO CHANGE THE FORUM LINK ==

TIME TO CHANGE THE FORUM LINK. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Slimz|Slimz]] ([[User talk:Slimz|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Slimz|contribs]]) 
:Time for you to stop typing in caps and to [[Template:Sign|sign your shit]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 07:54, 9 January 2012 (PST)

== Quality portal? ==

Crazy idea I'm just throwing out here, how about a portal to discuss article quality issues? People bitch about the quality of articles, why not give them a place to bring their concerns so we can address them? Like I said, just a crazy idea I have and I'd like some feedback first.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:15, 10 January 2012 (PST)
: well we have the forums and the discussion pages for each article, we could create a wiki for discussion .. yo dawg i heard you like to wiki so i made a wiki about your wiki so you can discuss what you discuss. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Slimz|Slimz]] ([[User talk:Slimz|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Slimz|contribs]]) 
: Crazy idea - why doesn't Slimz stop removing signature messages from his talk page and ACTUALLY START TO FUCKING USE THEM. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:43, 10 January 2012 (PST)
:Seconding. Both Champ's idea and Anonymax's. Not you though Slimes. You just need a doctor. Seriously though, this wiki does need a serious quality overhaul, and this would be a valuable tool in achieving those ends. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 13:03, 10 January 2012 (PST)

== Forum link ==

Is the forum dead? --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] 04:11, 8 November 2012 (PST)
:It certainly looks that way. It appears to have been taken down either by an admin or due to a terms of service violation. The latter is certainly possible; maybe someone reported the forum to Forumer? This is merely speculation on my part; what actually happened remains to be seen. [[User:CWCThinker|CWCThinker]] 07:54, 8 November 2012 (PST)

<s>
::Champ wrote on another page that the forum was TOSed. No word that I'm aware of of what's going to happen next. [[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 13:00, 8 November 2012 (PST)</s>

:::I wonder if Chris reported it? I think new forum should be made, however the new forum provider's TOS should be evaluated to make sure that a Cwcki forum isn't breaking any of thate provider's rules. That way this won't happen again. [[User:Taurine|Taurine]] 13:43, 8 November 2012 (PST)

::::Nevermind...I looked at his comment again and he didn't say that. Must have got it mixed up with something else. I have no idea why the forum is down. My apologies. [[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 14:08, 8 November 2012 (PST)
::If it was TOS'd, it was probably someone who was recently banned. If you look at their TOS, the forum wasn't actually in breach of them, so it will have been a misunderstanding. It'll likely be possible that we can recover the forum. If not, I don't think it's a big loss. Forumer really isn't handling this very professionally, so something like this was inevitable. It might just be smarter to change to another provider, even if the forum CAN be recovered. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 16:41, 8 November 2012 (PST)

:::::I agree. At this point I wouldn't risk going with forumer again. At least the most important information that came from the forums was put onto the CWCki. So like you said, no big loss. [[User:Taurine|Taurine]] 16:55, 8 November 2012 (PST)

::::::On /cwc/, someone said someone else was butthurt about being banned and reported it to Forumer, if that helps. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 17:53, 8 November 2012 (PST)

User talk:Lumber

2012-11-09T01:42:43Z

Grandma Nazi:

==Contact me==
In case you haven't noticed, the forums have been taken down. I'm trying to get the staff back together via e-mail, so contact me @ CWCkiForums@gmail.com. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:17, 7 November 2012 (PST)
:I email you. What's going on? --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 07:24, 7 November 2012 (PST)
::I emailed you as well. [[User:CompyRex|CompyRex]] 07:52, 7 November 2012 (PST)
:I'm not a staff member, but I noticed that the site went down and I'm willing to help if it's needed.--[[User:Spelling Bee|Spelling Bee]] 08:09, 7 November 2012 (PST)
:Also not a staff member here (it's Lucrid). Someone should update the Main Page or anywhere else that has links to the former CWCki forum and indicate that it's defunct. Does anyone know how the forums got taken down, anyway? Did a forum admin do it or did someone on Forumer decide that the forum was violating the ToS? -- [[User:MummiTroll|Lucrid]] 02:00, 8 November 2012 (PST)
::I don't have a clue what's going on. Haven't heard back from Champ, we should sit tight until we know what's going on. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 14:40, 8 November 2012 (PST)
:::He didn't seem to get my email, either. Drop me an email at freecell@mail.com and I'll get you in touch with the rest of staff. If there are any other staff members who happen to read this and who are having similar problems, same thing works. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 16:36, 8 November 2012 (PST)
::::On /cwc/, someone said someone else was butthurt about being banned and reported it to Forumer, if that helps. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 17:42, 8 November 2012 (PST)

Death threats

2012-11-01T08:03:48Z

Grandma Nazi:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

[[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' became increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily grown over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats, the primary target of which was [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with [[Anna McLerran]]) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst by a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place guys) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare act, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologised]] for this death threat... about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy — [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and [[Clyde Cash]] on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO [[GodJesus|GOD AND JESUS]] TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|I PRAY YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], [[Clyde Cash]] has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

[[Don't Mess With Me|Chris posted another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Chris also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog [[Patti]] maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Ireland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The Cwcipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claimed that he would [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in LBP2. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that the [[GAMe PLACe]] would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

===[[CWCki Forums]]===

On 28th April, 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.

==Chris as a recipient==

Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4th [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats==

As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a [[Autism|mentally ill man]] who has endured endless harassment from the [[trolls]] would one day [[Chris and Anger|snap]] and [[Strangle_that_Clyde_Cash|attempt to kill somebody]], consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|run at the slightest hint of conflict]], possibly shitting himself in terror in the process ''(If you think that's an exaggeration, see the last paragraph under 'Chris as a recipient' above.)'' Secondly, Chris's poor [[Chris and Health|health]], clear [[Pull-up|lack of exercise]] and [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|slow reaction time]] would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in far worse health than him. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|simply stand there and let him carry out murder]], almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come [[14 Branchland Court|directly to him]], as going out of his [[Chris%27s_room|comfort zone]] is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he [[Miyamoto_Saga#11_January_2009_to_15_January_2009:_Chris_Can.27t_Afford_to_Fly_to_Redmond|wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams]], so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even ''if'' he [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|knew where they all lived]]?

Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old fashioned game of [[Kick the Autistic]].

==See also==
*[[death|Chris and Death]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Template:Timeline

2012-11-01T08:02:53Z

Grandma Nazi: Fucked up a space.

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[CWChronology]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
<center>
'''By year:''' 
'''[[Pre-1980]]''' · '''[[1980s]]''' · '''[[1990s]]'''

'''[[2000s]]''' —
[[2000]] ·
[[2001]] ·
[[2002]] ·
[[2003]] ·
[[2004]] ·
[[2005]] ·
[[2006]] ·
[[2007]] ·
[[2008]] ·
[[2009]]

'''[[2010s]] — '''
[[2010]] ·
[[2011]] ·
[[2012]] ·
''[[2013]]''
 
 
'''By month:''' 
'''[[2009]] — '''
[[January 2009|Jan]] ·
[[February 2009|Feb]] ·
[[March 2009|Mar]] ·
[[April 2009|Apr]] ·
[[May 2009|May]] ·
[[June 2009|June]] ·
[[July 2009|July]] ·
[[August 2009|Aug]] ·
[[September 2009|Sept]] ·
[[October 2009|Oct]] ·
[[November 2009|Nov]] ·
[[December 2009|Dec]]

'''[[2010]] — ''' [[January 2010|Jan]] · [[February 2010|Feb]] · [[March 2010|Mar]] · [[April 2010|Apr]] · [[May 2010|May]] · [[June 2010|June]] · [[July 2010|July]] · [[August 2010|Aug]] · [[September 2010|Sept]] · [[October 2010|Oct]] · [[November 2010|Nov]] · [[December 2010|Dec]]

'''[[2011]] — ''' [[January 2011|Jan]] · [[February 2011|Feb]] · [[March 2011|Mar]] · [[April 2011|Apr]] · [[May 2011|May]] · [[June 2011|June]] · [[July 2011|July]] · [[August 2011|Aug]] · [[September 2011|Sept]] · [[October 2011|Oct]] · [[November 2011|Nov]] · [[December 2011|Dec]]

'''[[2012]] — ''' [[January 2012|Jan]] · [[February 2012|Feb]] · [[March 2012|Mar]] · [[April 2012|Apr]] · [[May 2012|May]] · [[June 2012|June]] · [[July 2012|July]] · [[August 2012|Aug]] · [[September 2012|Sept]] · [[October 2012|Oct]] · [[November 2012|Nov]] · ''[[December 2012|Dec]]''

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[CWChronology]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

<includeonly>
{{#ifeq: {{lc:{{{nocat|false}}}}} | false | {{ Namespace detect | main = [[Category:Chronology]] | other = [[Category:Chronology]] }} }}
</includeonly>

Template:Timeline

2012-11-01T08:01:23Z

Grandma Nazi:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[CWChronology]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
<center>
'''By year:''' 
'''[[Pre-1980]]''' · '''[[1980s]]''' · '''[[1990s]]'''

'''[[2000s]]''' —
[[2000]] ·
[[2001]] ·
[[2002]] ·
[[2003]] ·
[[2004]] ·
[[2005]] ·
[[2006]] ·
[[2007]] ·
[[2008]] ·
[[2009]]

'''[[2010s]] — '''
[[2010]] ·
[[2011]] ·
[[2012]] ·
''[[2013]]''
 
 
'''By month:''' 
'''[[2009]] — '''
[[January 2009|Jan]] ·
[[February 2009|Feb]] ·
[[March 2009|Mar]] ·
[[April 2009|Apr]] ·
[[May 2009|May]] ·
[[June 2009|June]] ·
[[July 2009|July]] ·
[[August 2009|Aug]] ·
[[September 2009|Sept]] ·
[[October 2009|Oct]] ·
[[November 2009|Nov]] ·
[[December 2009|Dec]]

'''[[2010]] — ''' [[January 2010|Jan]] · [[February 2010|Feb]] · [[March 2010|Mar]] · [[April 2010|Apr]] · [[May 2010|May]] · [[June 2010|June]] · [[July 2010|July]] · [[August 2010|Aug]] · [[September 2010|Sept]] · [[October 2010|Oct]] · [[November 2010|Nov]] · [[December 2010|Dec]]

'''[[2011]] — ''' [[January 2011|Jan]] · [[February 2011|Feb]] · [[March 2011|Mar]] · [[April 2011|Apr]] · [[May 2011|May]] · [[June 2011|June]] · [[July 2011|July]] · [[August 2011|Aug]] · [[September 2011|Sept]] · [[October 2011|Oct]] · [[November 2011|Nov]] · [[December 2011|Dec]]

'''[[2012]] — ''' [[January 2012|Jan]] · [[February 2012|Feb]] · [[March 2012|Mar]] · [[April 2012|Apr]] · [[May 2012|May]] · [[June 2012|June]] · [[July 2012|July]] · [[August 2012|Aug]] · [[September 2012|Sept]] · [[October 2012|Oct]]· [[November 2012|Nov]] · ''[[December 2012|Dec]]''

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[CWChronology]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

<includeonly>
{{#ifeq: {{lc:{{{nocat|false}}}}} | false | {{ Namespace detect | main = [[Category:Chronology]] | other = [[Category:Chronology]] }} }}
</includeonly>

CWCki Forums

2012-10-29T01:06:29Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Gallery of screencaps Chris took of the CWCki forum and posted on Facebook */

{{Stub}}

[[Image:CWCki_Forums_as_Guest.png|thumb|A view of the forum as a Guest. In order to view forum content, you must register for an account.]]
The '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/index.php CWCki Forums]''' is a message board loosely affiliated with the [[CWCki]]. It's primary purpose is to allow users to discuss and speculate about [[Chris]], without needing to do so in the [[CWCki:NAF|CWCki proper]].

It's assumed that Chris is lurks on the boards regularly, and screenshots of the forum have appeared on his [[Facebook]] account.

==Boards==
All boards on the CWCki Forums are about discussing Chris or the forum itself.

* '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/chris-f82610.html Chris]''' - General discussion and speculation about Chris, his activities, and the world of [[Christory]].
** '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/what-if-f82616.html What If?]''' - Speculation that is more eccentric or off-topic, such as: "''What if Chris preferred [[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Purple Fanta]]?''"
* '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/sonichu-f82612.html Sonichu]''' - Discussion of the [[Continuity_in_the_Sonichu_comics|Sonichu canon]].
* '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/cwcki-forum-f82614.html CWCki Forum]''' - A board for discussing changes to the forum itself.

There is also the '''General''' board, which became restricted in [[January_2012|January]] due to low quality of posts by less insightful posters, and '''[http://cwcki.forumer.com/spergatory-f112315.html Spergatory]''', a public trash bin for [[Asperger_syndrome|less insightful posters' posts]].

==Gallery of screencaps Chris took of the CWCki forum and posted on [[Facebook]]==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks board regular "Lucrid" and assures us the [[JenkinsJinkies]] sodomy story was made up.
File:Koreans.PNG|Chris denigrates Korean cuisine due to a misunderstanding.
</gallery>
</center>
[[Category: Websites]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2012-10-18T15:29:56Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Chris and the Fashion Square */ Removed speculation.

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall.]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and he has twice been forcibly removed from the premises, once for loitering and once for creating a loud disturbance, by April 2012 he had been banned from entering the mall.<ref name="facebook ban">[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook - 28 April 2012]]</ref>

The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act.

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was there that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had there, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "Hi" to the manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit!

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

On 31 March, he managed to get himself in trouble for a second time this year, this time by yelling on his phone towards his trolls. Security guards came to confront Chris, but he ended up fleeing the mall once more.

On 28 April, Chris released a Facebook message stating that, on the 25th of April, he had received the ban-hammer for getting angry in the mall when he answered some calls from the trolls.<ref name="facebook ban"/>

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] revealed that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1fvIvbUQ9_0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = 0ArchieBunker0
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Nintendo Power Magazine

2012-10-16T17:30:47Z

Grandma Nazi:

'''''Nintendo Power''''' is a video game-oriented magazine that has given [[Sonichu]] and [[Chris]] a substantial amount of press coverage.

No. Seriously.

==The magazine==
''Nintendo Power'' is a magazine devoted to promoting [[Nintendo]]'s video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products. Chris, being in part a Nintendo fanboy, has had a subscription since the dawn of time.

Even though dozens of fans are featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remember who he is from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.

==The hand-drawn magazine==
{{main|Homemade Nintendo Power magazine}}

Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a [[Sonic]] game for the Game Boy. Chris then [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power]]. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at [[Sonichu (comic)|slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand]], as well as the first appearance of [[Bionic]] the Hedgehog.

==The ''Sprung'' letter==
Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how ''[[Sprung]]'', a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''DS Equals Dating Service'''

I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed.

Christian C.

Via the Internet}}

==The Animal Crossing documentary==

Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping [[Animal Crossing Documentary|video about his daily life in ''Animal Crossing'']]. ''Nintendo Power'' heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions:)''

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

It seems incredible, but someone was actually paid to watch Chris's video for an hour and then write about it. Note that many of the of the unique achievements mentioned are actually basic functions of the game any six year old can discover.

==Gallery==

<gallery>
Image:390-NPVol179.jpg|A scrapbook image.
Image:394-NPVol190.jpg|Another scrapbook image
Image:393-CWCSprung.jpg|Now if only the women weren't afraid of him...
Image:389-CWCSchuCross.jpg|Yay!
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*''[[Sprung]]''

[[Category:Video Games]]

Nintendo Power

2012-10-16T17:29:38Z

Grandma Nazi: Someone hates Nintendo.

{{Disambiguation}}

'''Nintendo Power''' may refer to:

*'''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''', a magazine covering Nintendo products
*'''[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]]''', Christian's attempt at recreating this magazine

File talk:Fbp10.png

2012-10-09T23:06:04Z

Grandma Nazi: Created page with "Should we really have Megan's address up, here? ~~~~"

Should we really have Megan's address up, here? [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 16:06, 9 October 2012 (PDT)

PS3

2012-09-28T14:56:53Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Spending history */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade.

Chris's replacement '''PS3''' is his second life upgrade. Despite ceremoniously [[The MovingFoward videos|"MovingFoward"]] only a few days before, Chris could not live without his life upgrade, and so reportedly wasted yet more of [[America]]ns' tax dollars replacing it. He was earning new trophies with it by the second week of September 2010. May the frivolous [[PSN]] spending and hacking drama continue.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$3,767.54''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 15 [[June 2012]], Chris has 2,622 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|69
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
|Furries galore.
|-
|''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
|15
|100%
|Grating dialogue on par with the Sonichu comics.
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
|15
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
|14
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
|14
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
|''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
|12
|100%
|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|12
|100%
|Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
|[[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
|13
|100%
|A Vita tutorial.
|-
|''Sly Minigames''
|8
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!!!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
| A pretentious wagglefest that only Chris could take seriously. Several scenes of nudity: male and female.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
|5
|80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
|35
|77%
|Guitar Hero for the preteen girl demographic.
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
|43
|72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|''NUMBLAST'' is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
|7
|71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
|27
|71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
|36
|62%
|Sonic Kart couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to Modnation.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
|31
|58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously? Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|360]] version (lots of naked women). Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive, but it's more likely that Chris [[Autism|wasn't even listening]] to the things the representative was saying, being more concerned with being able to use his life upgrade again as soon as possible. This dubious series of events was disputed by CWC experts, who suspect that Chris may not have been his [[List of Chris's lies|TRUE and HONEST self]]. However, his PSN account activity suggested he had indeed deleted fucking everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the MovingFoward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "compact" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

User talk:Aschlafly

2012-09-27T11:51:38Z

Grandma Nazi:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 12:04, 2 April 2012 (PDT)

Your username makes me lol... because Liberals. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:40, 4 April 2012 (PDT)

== Greetings ==

I love Conservapedia Professor Schlafly. I'm glad you have decided to join us here improving the CWCki, you should invite Ken to come help too, his SEO knowledge would be invaluable. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 16:09, 26 September 2012 (PDT)

Oh god, Andrew Schlafly. I wonder what a Conservapedia article on Chris would look like. "Christian Weston Chandler is a 30 year old liberal who lives off of a Social Security disability fund for the questionably existant mental illness of autism..." [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 04:51, 27 September 2012 (PDT)

User talk:Aschlafly

2012-09-27T11:51:32Z

Grandma Nazi:

Talk:Daniel Mimms

2012-09-27T11:47:45Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Why was this deleted? */

The funny thing about the picture is that even if Mimms didn't take the picture, he still owns the camera and would thus have been the only one who could have uploaded it assuming Lucas didn't borrow his camera, which would be kind of strange. I guess Chris and his family are too stupid to realize this.

== Chris has a picture of Mimms in one of his slideshows ==

Should that be uploaded? I'm asking this because Mimms is a pretty cool guy, and I'm not sure if he would want a picture of himself uploaded on a troll wiki. [[User:Flame|Flame]] 02:18, 27 May 2009 (CEST)

DO IT FAGGOT --[[User:Mr Mittens|Mr Mittens]]

*On the one hand, I am concerned about Mimms's privacy. On the other hand, he has Chris to blame for that picture. But yeah, use the slideshow one. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:54, 27 May 2009 (CEST)
Alright, I got it. I touched it up a bit (and it still is pretty crappy quality because of Chris' horrible filming technique), since it was from a blurry slide show. Its Mimms, due to the green fro.
[[Image:mimms_copy.jpg]]
[[User:Flame|Flame]] 02:32, 27 May 2009 (CEST)
:* I believe mimms has allready lost that fro, so he should look completely different from that image now. :3 But he visits the CWCki, so if he objects here we could take it down or whatever. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 03:18, 27 May 2009 (CEST)
wait, the fro is real? I thought it was like a wig or something. ffff [[User:Flame|Flame]] 03:42, 27 May 2009 (CEST)
:The fro alone justifies having this picture here. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:34, 30 May 2009 (CEST)
:*Chris uploaded a cleaner pic of Mimms. We're at the level of gutter-press anyway, so I took the liberty to upload it. :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 00:39, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

*That's a pretty fucking sweet afro [[User:CommanderBoreal|CommanderBoreal]] 11:56, 6 November 2011 (PST)
==Why was this deleted?==
::So why was this deleted?

The given reason was copyright infringement. In other words, Mimms most likely wanted it taken down. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 04:47, 27 September 2012 (PDT)

Talk:HEXBox

2012-09-27T11:44:20Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Buying games from thrift stores and selling them for a profit */ new section

==To do==
*<strike>photoshop Xbox logo to read "Hex Bawx"</strike>
*references to Hex Bawx in video and comics
:Added the appearance from Sonichu 8. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
*the lack of logic behind Chris's hatred of it
**Find Chris's PS3 transactions thing that shows he's spent like, a grand on PS3 related stuff. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:57, 17 March 2009 (CET)
***Somebody please save, and add/annotate these to the CWCiki. They are currently linked on the PVCC from CLYDE (with LUV). [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)

'Spergin Side Note: Christian actually used the correct spelling case for the '''Wii''' in his ALL CAPS Trophy message. Does ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' on Xbox 360 make Chris shit himself? Hell, he probably shits himself seeing Sonic in Nintendo games. HIS HOME-MADE NINTENDO POWER DREAM COME TRUE~. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 07:51, 14 May 2009 (CEST)
*This is probably why he puts so much credence in his dreams, notably his Love Quest. It's possible if there was never a Sonic game on Nintendo, he might be less psychotic about his love quest. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:33, 14 May 2009 (CEST)

I distinctly remember that he had his original Xbox visible among his clutter in one of the videos, perhaps even many of them. I can't find it. Which was it? --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:15, 8 November 2009 (CET)

==Kck the hexbox story?==
This poorly written story screams fake, whoever claimed this needs better lying skills.

==Did he own an Xbox?==
Whether or not his Saturn has been mistaken for an Xbox, he did almost certainly own one at some point. If you check out his list of [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he sold or tried to sell several Xbox games. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:02, 26 November 2009 (CET)
:Ah, didn't see that. I'll add that to the article. --[[User:APBoy|APBoy]] 22:04, 26 November 2009 (CET)(
:: Wait, check out the panorama view of Chris's room (http://cogsdev.org/w/images/8/89/Panorama.jpg) ... right next to the the TV, before his speakers, I believe that the black item ontop of what appears to be a VCR is indeed an original X-box. I can't make it out for certain because the pictures kind of grainy, but I'm 90% sure that is indeed an Xbox. Anyone have a higher resolution photo? --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 18:24, 31 May 2010 (EST)

::Virtually certain that if you move your cursor about an inch to the left from the top right corner of his big, stupid head in [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:0777-CWConbed.JPG this picture], it'll be over an original Xbox.

::If so, it would be totally his MO to hate the Xbox ''forever'' because of the minor inconvenience it caused him once when he was surprised that he had to pay like 1/35 of his free money to get on Xbox Live. I think it's likely that his hatred isn't exactly hypocritical—it's that this is how he deals with difficulties a normal person would overcome quickly and easily. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:22, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

:::I can verify those are, indeed, just shots of his Sega Saturn or alarm clock. There are only two controller ports, the entire front is flat and not curved outward with an indentation that has the Xbox's eject and power buttons, and their is no line for where the front-loading drive is at. We've been tricked by bad camera quality again. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:33, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

=="Makes you do a 360° and walk away"==

That isn't CWC failing at "basic geometry" but rather a reference to a nonsensical meme, which was later reiterated through an animated gif of Sega Genesis Michael Jackson approaching an Xbox 360, turning a full circle, and moonwalking away. If Chris got it from this, I think it's an example of one of the few times he has actually understood internet culture beyond his own creations.
:He wasn't failing at basic geometry when he made the joke, but when he failed at finding half of 360 degrees, which is 180 degrees. He said 130 and 120 degrees before giving up. That was him failing at basic geometry. Also, both "jokes" were ideas he stole from an IRC chat so he fails at even the most common and fundamental of internet memes. [[User:Sakanz|sakanz]] 09:13, 24 December 2009 (CET)

==PS3==

If the reason why he hates the 360 is indeed cause you have to pay for online, then we should see some interesting development now that Sony made plans to add a subscription fee to PSN akin to the gold and silver accounts in a 360. I don't think this should be mentioned just yet, atleast until Sony formally announces it, but yeah, just throwing this out there. [[User:Dave|Dave]]

==Teh Vidya==
What was the video game Chris pirates in page 53 of issue 10? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 23:11, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
* Most people think it's "Don't Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls" [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:14, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

==Why Chris hates the HEX-BOX==
"Chris hates [the XBox] for no real reason other than not wanting to pay for online gaming."
Seriously? I mean, ''seriously''? Is this really the only reason Chris hates it? Has Chris ever said anything about this?

He whines about it in mailbag 5. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:56, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

Well he is a hateful, hateful man.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 14:16, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

I think he also hates it because it took his beloved Sega's spot on the market, but if that's true, then why doesn't he hate Nintendo for killing Sega?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:14, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
:I don't think Chris was ever sad about the loss of Sega. Remember his Nintendo Power Magazine where he fantasized about Sonic leaving Sega for Nintendo? The death of the Dreamcast allowed his dream to come true. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 21:19, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Here's how Chris views the market--everyone is trying to get his attention and his attention alone. Nintendo was competing with Sega for his attention, and they stopped competing when Chris bought both. He "made up" with Sony when he bought a PS2/3. He hates Harry Potter and the Xbox because they are, in his eyes, constantly nagging him for his attention and he just isn't interested.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:28, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== A minor thing, but... ==

[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|KILL THE BEAST! CUT HIS THROAT! SPILL HIS BLOOD!]] Props to whoever made that reference to The Lord of the Flies. [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 01:09, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

== Irony ==
I find it a bit ironic that he hates the X-Box despite the fact that the original X-box controllers were slightly modified Dreamcast controllers. Also, He's a hypocrite for not hating Nintendo, because they killed his hedgehog-god's console.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:11, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== Minor Error ==

In Sonichu 10, when Hobo-Chan approaches Alec's computer, he notes that it is of Microsoft, so indeed Chris has referred to Microsoft directly.

== Did he EVER wrote it "Hex Bawx"? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:09, 12 September 2010 (PDT)
:No, it's just how we render his retarded way of saying it. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 10:22, 12 September 2010 (PDT)

Think that article should be renamed "HEXBox" or "HEX-Box" as they're the only ways he has spelled it (he never used "Hex Box") [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 18:47, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

== gamertag ==

[http://live.xbox.com/en-US/profile/profile.aspx?GamerTag=Sonichu Yes, it's Sonichu, the exact same as his PSN account name.] Not one achievement to be seen. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 21:21, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
: And lo, there was a damn good reason for that: [http://profile.mygamercard.net/SONICHU "This GamerTag is not associated with an Xbox 360."] And the guy is in Japan. I remember looking this gamertag up year or two ago, and it was the same deal. This is not Chris. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 15:13, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

==Rename==

This page needs to be either HEX-Box or HEXBox, as someone said above, because he never says "Hex Box". [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 07:14, 25 January 2011 (PST)
:It is done. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:20, 26 November 2011 (PST)

== This is too minor ==

Just wanted to point out that Chris uses ''Skadoosh'' in the 2 Jan 2010 about the Xbox 360. Later (10 Feb 2010) in Mumble #6 Chris mentions seeing Kung Fu Panda recently. He would have had to have seen the movie BEFORE 2 Jan 2010 because that's where he got ''Skadoosh'' from http://www.feistees.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/skdsh.jpg This obviously is way to minor to care about but i just wanted it documented somewhere (even if it is a talk page)[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 09:49, 17 February 2012 (PST)

== Playstation Plus ==

I believe Chris was spotted using Playstation Plus in April 2011 as a response to the Sony outage where Sony gave free Playstation Plus accounts to all users for about a month.

== "Skadoosh" ==

Is it worth mentioning in the article that The phrase "Skadoosh" is from the animated movie "kung fu panda" and this is likely where Chris learned this phrase?
(a staple example of his maturity)
It's piped to random-access humor, which doesn't make sense, as Chris probably didn't think of this himself.
--[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 14:27, 16 September 2012 (PDT)

== Buying games from thrift stores and selling them for a profit ==

Do we have any proof Chris ever actually did this? It sounds like too much of a decent idea for Chris to come up with. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 04:44, 27 September 2012 (PDT)

User:Lumber/Brand Loyalty

2012-09-27T11:41:43Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Nintendo */ Considering what a piece of shit the Virtual Boy was, infamous is better than notorious.

'''Chris and Brand Loyalty'''

'''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to continually purchasing a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies go to great lengths, generally through advertising, loyalty programs and contest, to establish a brand which consumers will recognize, consider valuable and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his difficulty separating [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] Chris tends to take advertisements to be [[AXE|literal documentation of a products effectiveness]] rather than intrinsically biased attempts to lure consumers. This, in combination with his [[Autism|ridged thinking and attraction to routine]], has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally considered "brands" such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.

==Overview==
[[Image:Rubi 110309.jpg|thumb|right|Chris considered this a reward for drinking thousands of cans of Coke.]]
Chris is drawn to virtually every attempt at generating brand loyalty. Compulsively entering any contest he encounters and fastidiously collecting various loyalty points including [[My Coke Rewards]] and [[Wikipedia:McDonald's Monopoly|''McDonald's Monopoly'']].

In general, once Chris has committed to a particular "brand" he will stand by it regardless of the facts and considers anyone who abandons a brand to be a "hypocrite," although he has been known to soften his stance over many years.

Chris is highly susceptible to marketing and branding; he feels strong loyalty to brands even and perhaps more so if they are essentially identical to their rivals.

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==
[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris becomes friends with a brand.]]
Sonic is the quintessential example of Chris's intense brand loyalty. Chris is in many ways the product of Sega's attempt to allow people to feel a personal connection with the electronic appliances. Sonic was designed to appeal to young children and act as a mascot for Sega, following Mario's success for Nintendo; he was concocted by combining elements from other popular cultural elements of the early 1990s including: Mario, Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Santa Claus. Part of Sega's strategy was to employ a multi-pronged marketing technique, including video games, television shows and contests. Chris followed all of these closely and in a fateful moment became the winner of the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes]] which cemented Sonic's place of honor with Chris's mind, becoming Chris's "lifelong hero", ironically replacing his previous "life long hero" [[The American Rabbit]]. While Sonic was certainly a popular franchise, particularly in the 1990s, Chris became obsessed with the hedgehog to a level likely unanticipated by Sega. During the 1990s Sonic occupied nearly all of his thinking, serving as an fantasy world in which he could escape from the realities of daily life. Chris would generally combine Sonic with whatever he was doing, whether it was replacing the characters in Goosebumps books with Sonic Characters or combining [[Bionic|Sonic with Basketball]]. Over the past two decades Chris has purchased nearly every Sonic branded game, toy and dildo and seems to view Sonic as something like an old personal friend.

Instead of growing up and moving on when the Sonic brand began to grow stale at the end of the 1990s, Chris merged Sonic with his other beloved franchise at the time: [[Pokemon]] to create [[Sonichu]] who seems to have replaced Sonic as the primary character in his internal fantasy world although Sonic still makes occasional cameo appearances.

Despite Sonic's sidekick Tails' major presence in Sonic media Chris rarely refers to him and conspicuously left him, or an uncreative recolor, absent in Sonichu. Some have speculated that this may be due to popular school yard rumors that conjectured that Sonic and Tails where in a homosexual relationship. Chris's notorious [[homophobia]] may have caused him to have an aversion to a character that he imagined to have tempted Sonic from "the straight path."

Although Mario and Nintendo were vicious rivals of Sonic and Sega, Chris seems to have been largely oblivious of this tension and never subjected them to the kind of hatred he would aim at rivals of his favored products later in his life.

==[[Playstation 3]] vs. [[HEXbox]]==
Perhaps Chris's best known case of brand loyalty is his sycophantic love of the [[PS3|Sony PlayStation 3]] and abject hatred for for the [[Xbox|Microsoft XBox 360]]. While fanboyism for these video game consoles is certainly well known and the rivalry between these products was referred to as a "console war", Chris, as he frequently does, took it to a new level, irrationally hating the Xbox 360 and heaping love and money on Sony. Chris was obsessed with the PS3 long before he was able to purchase one, stating that he would throw out the cure for autism for the $600 hunks of black plastic <ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref>. When he finally bought a PS3, after failing to [[Pixelated PS3|win it in a contest]], he considered it to be the "ultimate life upgrade". The PS3 and its online component the [[PSN]], where he has spent thousands of dollars, became an extremely important part of every day for Chris. He would use his limited budget to purchase numerous Sony branded accessories including a flat screen TV, a [[PSeye]], PSmove, PSmove sharpshooter and multiple [[Guitar Hero]] controllers. Chris seems to consider the PS3 and its games and accessories to be a genuine life improvements akin to investments rather than a glorified hug box, how these electronic gizmos do anything but distract him remains unclear. On the other hand Chris went to great lengths to express his distaste for the PS3 primary rival: the Xbox 360 or "HEXbox" as he liked to call it. When Chris would propose a videogame such as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]], he would make sure to state that it would be for all consoles... HEXbox excepted. Chris went at as far as defacing in store advertisements for the Xbox while yelling "kick that hex-bawx" <ref>August 2010</ref> and frequently lashing out at those who appeared to like or be affiliated with the Xbox. Chris's reasons for hating the Xbox 360 was never clearly defined. When pressed for answers, Chris would generally cite Xbox Live's (Xbox's online component) cost or the infamous "[[Wikipedia:Red_ring_of_death#.22General_Hardware_Failure.22_errors|red ring of death]]" <ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> He would later admit that his anger stemmed from jealousy over being unable to afford an original Xbox and that the aforementioned reasons were merely excuses<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>. Though he later softened his stance against the Xbox under the influence of [[Jackie]], the rivalry between the consoles and Chris's loyalty towards Sony was at its peak during the height of Chris trolling. This caused his hatred to become well known and the Xbox 360 to become a bit of a mascot for trolls. Chris also associated the Xbox with trolls, depicting [[Alec Benson Leary]] as an Xbox user.

Ironically Chris once felt similar hatred towards the Sony PSone and 2 which were at that time rivals to his beloved Nintendo N64 and GameCube respectively. His hatred for Sony and its gaming products evaporated when he purchased a PS2 at a garage sale for a "bargain." He intended to sell it for profit, but instead played it and found it to be enjoyable. Instead of learning from this, discovering that rival consoles can be equally enjoyable, Chris simply became a Sony fanboy and began hating Microsoft.

==[[Autism]] vs. [[Asperger's]]==
Chris extends his loyalty to brands far outside the normal realms of products and services and into the world of mental abnormality. He is extremely loyal to his diagnosis of autism, swearing by "my autism" multiple times and considering it to be an integral part of his identity, despite having serious difficulty grasping how the condition affects his ability to function. Just as with the PS3 and Xbox 360, Chris has identified a rival to autism in asperger's syndrom. Despite the fact that Chris's "high-functioning" autism and asperger's are essentially an identical diagnosis, Chris feels that people with asperger's are trying to "steal his limelight." Just like with Coke and Pepsi, Chris has taken two identical things and chosen one to identify with and the other to hate.

==[[Harry Potter]] vs. [[Pokemon]]==

[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Not broken at all.]]
Although not seen as a traditional rivalry, Chris has a strong dislike of the boy wizard Harry Potter because of a perceived rivalry with the Pokemon franchise, calling him a "total spaz"<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref> and at one point even [[Death threats|''threatening to kill'']] the fictional character.<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/e/ea/100-DarkCWC.jpg "Dark Christian" card from [[Wall of Originals]].]</ref> His hatred appears to stem from Chris perception that something was once again "stealing the limelight" from something he identified with, in this case Pokemon. When Harry Potter and Pokemon were released at roughly the same time while Chris was in high school. While Pokemon was aimed at younger children, Harry Potter targeted a slightly older more literate demographic. To Chris the choice was obvious.

==[[Nintendo]]==
Chris has been a lifelong fan of Nintendo products and although his love of Sonic prevented him from ever becoming obsessed with Mario, Chris has owned nearly every Nintendo console and handheld since the NES (there have been no signs of the infamous Virtual Boy). His relationship with Nintendo and his interactions with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who he believed was interested in producing a Sonichu games, displays Chris's odd understanding of consumer/corporate relations. It appears that Chris believes that his loyalty to various corporate interests would be recognized and returned in a reciprocal fashion as he list his multitude of Nintendo purchases in an attempt to convince the game developer to work with him<ref>Miyamoto emails</ref>.

==Coke and Pepsi==
Surprisingly Chris does not appear to have a specific long term loyalty in this classic example of a nonexistent choice. He has been known to drink both, but claims that Sonichu drinks only [[CWC Cola]], a variant of Pepsi with a [[Semen|special ingredient]]. At one point he supported a boycott of Pepsi due to its alleged "gay friendliness."
==References==
<references/>

Talk:September 2012

2012-09-05T02:22:16Z

Grandma Nazi:

Would the first anniversary of Bob's death be considered important enough to add here as an event? [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 10:43, 4 September 2012 (PDT)

I'd say it would be, as his death was a very big event in Chris's life. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 19:21, 4 September 2012 (PDT)

Talk:September 2012

2012-09-05T02:21:00Z

Grandma Nazi:

Would the first anniversary of Bob's death be considered important enough to add here as an event? [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 10:43, 4 September 2012 (PDT)
I'd say it would be, as his death was a very big event in Chris's life. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 19:21, 4 September 2012 (PDT)

Stress

2012-08-31T20:09:38Z

Grandma Nazi: Removed speculation. Could someone put up a citation for this medication?

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating "stress" with [[Father Call|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[troll]]ed. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress".

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickles]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Father Call|Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homo|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos]]exual
* [[Gay4Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone]]d
* Having his identity [[CChanSonichuCWC|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Chan_Update_21_October_2008</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly racist<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Sports bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and fashion

2012-08-30T12:07:41Z

Grandma Nazi: /* The "IBA" outfit */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. The majority of shirts he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which are decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) of his shirts was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts.
== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|<s>will never have</s>]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|apparently ''has'' had]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and fashion

2012-08-29T18:05:50Z

Grandma Nazi:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. The majority of shirts he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which are decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) of his shirts was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts.
== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|<s>will never have</s>]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|apparently ''has'' had]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and fashion

2012-08-28T11:11:15Z

Grandma Nazi: What. Chris only had China once, and it's extremely dubious. His consumption of sugarwater, however, is not.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. The majority of shirts he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which are decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|<s>will never have</s>]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|apparently ''has'' had]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

A message to the Trolls

2012-08-23T23:35:06Z

Grandma Nazi: Edited for relative neutrality.

'''A message to the Trolls''' (video name: '''A message to the Trolls.MOV''') is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 10 [[March 2010]], a while after learning that [[The Wallflower]] had discovered the [[CWCki]]. In it, he mostly whines to the trolls for interfering with his life, but doesn't go into specifics- mentioning only that trolls have been messing with his [[Gal-Pals|friends]]. Then he [[Chris and Anger|punches]] [[PSEye|his camera]].

Note the lack of [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] and [[Amnyfest Ring|class ring]].

==Video==

{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = A message to the Trolls.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w2wd1cTdtqg}}
| stardate = 10 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]
| next = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
}}

{{quote|You are nothing but god damn greedy, impatient, unloved, and corrupted fools.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A visibly upset Chris begans to speak in a barely-audiable, whining tone'']
This message is for every last god damn troll that has been pestering me for the past number of years, even the recent ones. I have been in a number of moments finding [[china|peace]] and losing it later. Because YOU [[Bob Walks In|WON'T LET ME BE]]!

You are su- You are a bunch of damn [[Chris and hypocrisy|immature DUMBASSES]] who have [[Chris and reality|no lives of your own]].

You don't want me to have a [[pedofork|little life of my own]], you don't want me to find long-lasting peace and happiness for myself, you don't want me to find the whole true love for myself because you are so [[Chris and Ego|sub-absorbed]] in yourselves, you don't wan- you only want me to give you more got-dang stories and [[Chris and art|art]] then I can give because of my... [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] comes in and out... it mostly comes in when I'm happy and have peace.

You are nothing but god damn [[Chris and money|greedy]], [[Mailbag|impatient]], [[Chris and remorse|unloved]], and [''shows the [[Claw of Fail|claw]]''] [[Chris|corrupted]] fools. Heartbreaks and heartaches, they really hurt. I've let you all done so much whatever you want emotionally than me... but... it is GOD DAMN ANOTHER STORY WITH YOU TRYTA [[Megan|HURT MY FRIENDS AND GET THEM INVOLVED]] LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING [''Chris punches the camera'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC: the student film
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6VuCcHN9L58}}
| stardate = 11 [[March 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidFailkips DavidFailkips]
| subject =
| info =
}}

==See also==
*[[Don't Mess With Me]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]|nextlink=[[Don't Mess With Me]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-10]]
[[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-10]]

PS3

2012-08-16T19:03:42Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Molestations and other PS3 damage */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade.

Chris's replacement '''PS3''' is his second life upgrade. Despite ceremoniously [[The MovingFoward videos|"MovingFoward"]] only a few days before, Chris could not live without his life upgrade, and so reportedly wasted yet more of [[America]]ns' tax dollars replacing it. He was earning new trophies with it by the second week of September 2010. May the frivolous [[PSN]] spending and hacking drama continue.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$3,767.54''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's perhaps not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]
=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 15 [[June 2012]], Chris has 2,622 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|69
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
|Furries galore.
|-
|''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
|15
|100%
|Grating dialogue on par with the Sonichu comics.
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
|15
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
|14
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
|14
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
|''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
|12
|100%
|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|12
|100%
|Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
|[[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
|13
|100%
|A Vita tutorial.
|-
|''Sly Minigames''
|8
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!!!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
| A pretentious wagglefest that only Chris could take seriously. Several scenes of nudity: male and female.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
|5
|80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
|35
|77%
|Guitar Hero for the preteen girl demographic.
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
|43
|72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|''NUMBLAST'' is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
|7
|71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
|27
|71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
|36
|62%
|Sonic Kart couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to Modnation.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
|31
|58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously? Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|360]] version (lots of naked women). Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive, but it's more likely that Chris [[Autism|wasn't even listening]] to the things the representative was saying, being more concerned with being able to use his life upgrade again as soon as possible. This dubious series of events was disputed by CWC experts, who suspect that Chris may not have been his [[List of Chris's lies|TRUE and HONEST self]]. However, his PSN account activity suggested he had indeed deleted fucking everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the MovingFoward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "compact" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2012-08-16T06:37:04Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Aftermath */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

[[Image:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest]]

In [[June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated. Failure to win the contest was not an option.

==Master Onion A-La Mode==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cEmM4JKZK8I}}
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC_is_Angry#Video|CWC is Angry]]
}}

To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3o3kQZWm8 Chop Chop Master Onion Rap]. Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well, considering that he reads its lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared? Oddly, he peppers the video with various video effects that seem to come from what is likely the default video editing program of EyeToy/PSEye, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during one point. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice', only for it to turn into laughing material. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

=== Transcript ===

<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and [[Homo|go with him now.]]
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]

Chris's video made it into the top 10, probably because a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Chris wasn't interested in Cole's plight, and so Cole never voted for him.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], Hot Wheels, and Bionicle.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

The irony is Chris actually violated [http://images.innovyx.net/dp/scea/PSP/adhoc/062507/rules.html?ILC-Boards&LINK=CHOPCHOP062607 da rules] by making up bits and pieces of his own lyrics, as seen above. Just about the only logical reason Chris got as far as he did is that the judges had ''never quite seen anything like this before.''

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (No, we have no idea why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

In the email, he whines that he should have recieved the prize because it represented his only opportunity at losing his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his Ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|[[Chris and His Ego|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP]] SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent ''[sic]'' destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against [[Adam Stackhouse]] and the other winners, using his favorite "[[Kick the Autistic]]" crutch. When people advised him to relax, he told them to shut up, resulting in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

Chris continued his rampage against Adam Stackhouse two days later, during which he created a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. He went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later scaled up his tirade against Adam Stackhouse with a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris shoots a picture of Stackhose and his sister with a pellet gun repeatedly for two straight minutes. Originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the video's mood was ruined by an episode of the comedy series [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] blaring in the background, together with the fact that Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron Pistol|toy]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip if he had won. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[dirty crapped briefs|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from making his halfassed contest entry.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. Either this version is the original version ''before'' Megan broke up with Chris, and Chris had to remove her picture to make amends, or the video with the picture was made ''much'' later, due to Chris's pangs of agony over long-lost love.

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest. [[Rape|Parappatherapingdog]]. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NadyUs_DWK8}}
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix
}}

==Sources==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FFI3HKPS Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]][[Category:Events]][[Category:Contests]][[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]

Talk:Pocket knife

2012-08-14T18:38:31Z

Grandma Nazi:

Is it possible he got the knife for his birthday, since it's only appeared just recently? --[[User:Iroquois|Iroquois]] 21:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* He may have ordered it off of [[ebay]] for a birthday gift to himself, and so that he can attack any trolls he meets in real life wth it. --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 21:40, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Of course, considering how improperly he uses it, anyone could kick his ass before he even had the chance to pull it out. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:55, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah it's obvious that he thinks he can dominate people with it, and also I believe the first appearence of the nife wasn't even in a video but in Sonichu Special 4 in which Liquid uses a knife, so maybe he's had it for a while, and just started using it now? --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 6:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*Lucky there are no gun control laws over there reallly-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:50, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! ==

Look carefully, he doesn't end up using the blade, he's using one of the smaller functions (that have their turning point in the middle of the knife, not at the end). It's either the hole-drill, or the cork-screw (and probably the latter, as that's the easiest to pull out). [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 18:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*Does this mean it's a swiss army knife? If so then this should be put in the article. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:04, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yep, you're right. Good looking out there. (You can see just as he puts the knife away, he's holding it with whichever blade/tool that is sticking out between his fingers.) [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:09, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*It's not as if the knife blade on those things is difficult to pull out. Maybe a page on "Chris and Motor Skills" might be warranted?--[[User:Draygoon|Draygoon]] 05:15, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== Okay, so who owns the Katana ==

Somebody on the CWCki's got mad samurai skills and desperately wants us all to know about it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:28, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
*I attack random people with spoons ninja style if that counts. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:39, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
*I wasn't the one that was referring to, but I do have a katana and I practice iaijutsu. Also fencing (using a Spanish sabre), but that's not as cool. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 03:46, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== He's dumber than I could ever imagine. ==

He's in VIRGINIA. Why the hell does he have a Swiss army knife, he could go to Walmart and get a real weapon. Ignoring the fact that they sell guns, he could buy anything from a hunting knife to a fucking machete, even more if it's a Supercenter. A pocket knife isn't even good for digging out splinters, it can't even cut PAPER. Sorry about that, /kniferant --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 01:59, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
* I know this is diving into forum territory, but I wanna point this out: remember his [[tugboat]]? Yeah, he has better things to buy with his tugboat than a better knife. Oh, I'm sure he can, but he'd rather buy God of War 3, ModNation Racers and the like than buy something he really could threaten someone with.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
** Ugh, forgot about that, that brings a different kind of rage to the table. Well, it's not like he could actually threaten anyone with it, it's very unlikely that he would leave his house to attack a troll. Even he understands the kind of trouble that could cause. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:18, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*** Believe it or not, even states like Virgina do have some restrictions on gun ownership. One of the easiest ways to get banned from owning a firearm (Other than a prior criminal record) is having a mental defect. Chris easily falls into this category... and even if he did manage to find a a gun dealer that didn't other to do a background check, they would at least have to look at his face and appearance and deny him for his autism (though it's more likely they would just assume he has down syndrome). Take some peace in knowing that Chris can't legally buy firearms --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 00:25, 29 June 2010 (EST)

== People acting like pocket knives aren't dangerous. ==

Wut.

People have killed cougars with pocket knives.

A household PENCIL can be lethal if sharpened enough.

In Chris's hands, it certainly isn't dangerous, but this is speculation and doesn't really belong here. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 11:38, 14 August 2012 (PDT)

Emails

2012-08-13T04:12:14Z

Grandma Nazi:

{{Incomplete}}This page covers miscellaneous '''emails''' exchanged between [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Trolls|others]].
==Chris==
=== 2004-2006 ===
{{main|Chris E-mails 2004-2006}}
'''February 2004'''

An email is sent to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], which does a magnificent job of showcasing Chris's humongous [[ego]]. Chris tells Mary that in exchange for killing any meeting between the two and the continued distribuftion of [[Sonichu News Dash]], he will stop [[Attraction Sign|note-hanging]] and find more [[Scale of Respect|respect]] for both Mary and another administrator, Susan Hannifan. Mary ignores his requests, stressing the importance of a meeting. The meeting occurred on 9 February.

'''October 2005'''

[[Nintendo]] sends a form letter to Chris after he asks them to employ him so he can get [[Monthly Tugboat|paid]] to <s>play</s> test [[video games]] from [[14 Branchland Court|home]].
{{Quote|If you haven't already done so, you can sign-up for a My Nintendo membership...}}
'''September 2006'''

Chris sends [[Anna]] an email containing a eulogy to [[Patti]]. Strangely, picking up her litter, giving her a [[Homos|Bally Scratch]], and [[Obesity|feeding]] her are lovely memories.

=== 2007 ===
{{main|Chris E-mails 2007}}

'''February'''

An email addressed to one of his old teachers, Mrs. Sanford. It talks about the people in the class, the [[PVCC]] incident, his first meeting with [[Megan]], a DVD, and [[Sonichu]]. Thus begins the [[Emails#Megan|Megan Saga]]...

'''March'''

Chris touches base with his brother and [[Cole]] sheds some light on his relationship (or lack thereof) with [[Barb]] and his stepfather, [[Bob]].

{{quote|I really don't give a fuck about her or about her fucking lies..|}}

'''July'''

Chris asks someone named Susan Hannifan to vote for his [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] entry. [[lie|She says she will]].

In another e-mail, Chris calls in a favor from Cole, requesting that he vote for his [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] entry. Cole asks him to first convince Barb to tell him the identity of his biological father. This chore is begrudgingly carried through, with minimal effort of course. Cole is never given the true identity of his biological father, and Chris never receives his vote.

'''August'''

Chris [[Chris and Anger|rages]] at [[Sony]] about him losing the contest, and reveals that the only reason he wanted to win was because he wanted to have [[sex]] with Megan. She would have said no either way. He also lists all the reasons the other videos cheated. He, of course, does not mention that [[Chris and Hypocrisy|he voted for himself many, many, many times]]. He then says that he was just [[Stress|depressed]], not to make up for the raging, but so he could still collect the prizes. Sony sends him a form letter.

'''November'''

The shit hits the fan. Chris is informed that somebody is pretending to be a [[Blanca|girl]] to get some [[nudes]] of him. He doesn't listen. Chris emails Anna, telling her about the terrible things [[ED]] has done. She tells him to sue them. Chris tells her that it's just some guy with some time on his hands (Which is the first time he has actually seen a [[troll]] as just a guy) and then tells her about [[Joshua Martinez]] and how Megan broke up with him (when they were not in a relationship.) and says he's met someone named [[Lori Lopez]]. Matthew Kelly tells Chris he can't use Sonichu, because it's Matt's character. Chris doesn't respond.

=== 2008 ===

{{main|Chris E-mails 2008}}

'''January'''

Chris tells Anna about ED, and asks her if the [[Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] was really written by her.

'''March'''

Chris tells Anna how to edit ED. He also emails WikiMedia, asking them how to Edit Lock the ED page. They tell him that they are not in control of it.

'''June'''

Chris asks a man named Tyler Wayne to give Megan a present that he was unable to give due to [[Michael Snyder]]. Tyler tells him to arrange a meeting with her elsewhere, and give it to her then. A white knight tries in vain to get through to Chris on many matters: Blaming [[Autism]] on everything; the [[love quest]]; the [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and Fashion|his wardrobe]]; the [[Medallion of Fail]]; and [[MySpace]].

'''July'''

Apparently the only thing that keeps Chris sane is [[video games]]. [[Little Big Planet|This is not surprising]].

[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|Chris's deepest desire?]]

'''August'''

Chris thinks Fox News will actually care enough about him that they'll attempt to take down the ED page. He also believes that Reporters = FBI agents. He asks his Reverend to help him verify the identity of the women he meets online. He sends another email to [[Robert Simmons V]]. He talks about how ED is losing its power (apparently) and about how Meg from [[Family Guy]] is, in his eyes, pretty. Meg is meant to be an ugly character, but Chris can't catch on to this. He sends yet another Email. this time to Kathleen Nicole Wallace, who he believes, using his amazing Autism logic, had sex with [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], and since she's seventeen, this means that Jason is a [[pedofork]]. It should be noted that in certain states of [[America]], the age of consent is 16, and that the only reason he thinks they had sex was because they were in a relationship.

'''September'''

Chris claims to his Reverend that he has repented after being trolled by Blanca; in response, she sets him up with [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. Somebody has stolen Chris's [[YouTube]] account, and a troll seems to forget how YouTube messaging works and ends up revealing to Chris this fact.

==Megan==
=== 2005-2006 ===

{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}

'''November 2005'''

Megan sends an email to Chris about getting her a Tintin video. This is the first documented Megan email.

[[Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|thumb|"When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first?"]]

'''December 2005'''

Chris tells Megan he'd like to go out with her to [[McDonald's]] before thanking her for pictures she sent him. Megan responds with an email asking him to stop trying to kiss her.

'''May 2006'''

Chris asks Megan for her number after telling her he's going to send her pictures of his stuff.

'''June 2006'''

Megan sends Chris two emails: one regarding the photos he sent her, and another telling him once again that she would like him to stop trying to make [[rape|unwanted advances]] to her.

'''July 2006'''

Megan sends Chris more mixed signals in an email, saying she believes he [[tracing|copies her art]] and her [[My Little Pony|interests]].

'''August 2006'''

Megan sends the controversial email containing the ever-famous quote:
{{quote|If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?|}}

=== 2007 ===

{{main|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}

'''March'''

Chris sends Megan an apology about his recent behavior via email. Megan completely ignores the apology, starting on a different subject matter: how he portrays her characters. She then requests he stop drawing them with [[Plush Breasts|human-like characteristics]].

'''April'''

Megan adds one more email to the "Stop Fucking Touching Me" collection, filled with complaints of his lack of personal space and her lack for needing money.

'''May'''

Chris introduces the legendary [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|Soul Calibur video]], along with some shitty poem about game consoles.

'''June'''

Chris emails Megan while she's in Kentucky about [[video games]]. A day later, he mourns the 1 year anniversary of [[Patti]]'s [[Chris_and_death|death]].

'''July'''

Chris sends Megan, who is still on vacation, a series of emails about various subject matter, including [[The GAMe PLACe|Pokemon League]], [[Transformers]], [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|his gunky ear]] and a long list of shit nobody cares about.

{{main|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

'''August'''

Megan finally responds to his earlier emails, going on a well-reasoned rant:
{{quote|With all that said, we're down to two options:
A: We remain friends and ONLY friends period. As in no more touching me, following me, asking me personal questions, and giving me things. We can still battle and trade cards and talk.
-or-
B: Never see me again|}}
After this, Megan goes on a month-long hiatus from checking her email, creating one more stack of useless emails from Chris. In them, he begs for her not to leave him and how he's not jealous of [[Adam Stackhouse]] any longer.

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|100px|left|The fanart in question.]]

'''October'''

Megan comes back. She offers Chris things she no longer wants that she has found in her room, much like Chris's wardrobe. The two of them converse about cards, Crocs, an incident in the library, and Megan's then-boyfriend.

'''November'''

Chris brings up [[Evan]]'s fanart and [[Lori]]. Megan is curious about Lori, asking for further explanation. Chris is quick to dismiss the question, talking about Pokemon once more. Megan tries to bring up Lori again while asking Chris to download music for her.

'''December'''

Chris replies to Megan about something completely different, disregarding her last email. This is the last Megan email of 2007.

=== 2008 ===

{{main|Megan Emails, 2008}}

'''January'''

Only one email was sent in January, in which Chris makes plans of him and Megan living together.

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|You'd think this is the image that scared her shitless.]]

'''March'''

Megan asks Chris to remove any and all information of her on the internet, including pictures. Things seemed to be going alright, until it took the turn for the worst: Megan finds out about Chris's [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|hand-drawn Rule 34]] that he has drawn of the both of them.

{{quote|I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me.|}}

She asks him to leave her alone for a while, and he mistakes her being scarred as a lack of sex knowledge. Chris manages to remove the image from ED, but only for a while. Megan gets fed up but Chris continues to pester her, claiming drawing the picture helped him from [[Rape|raping her]]. She repeatedly asks Chris to leave her alone.

'''April'''

The last of the Megan emails. Megan responds to an email Chris sent about his feelings, saying she can't trust him anymore. This brings the Megan Saga to a close.

==Vivian==
=== 2007 ===
'''November'''

[[Vivian Gee]] sends Chris an email, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu, in an attempt to troll him. She also sends an email telling him to "get rid of that damn medallion" so girls will like him more.

=== 2008 ===
'''August'''

Vivian contacts Chris after nine long months, sending him an email about [[Liquid]]. Chris responds with more regard to Sonichu than the matter at hand.

'''September'''

Vivian emails Chris about his [[Sonichu 8|recent comic]]. No reply. She then sends an email about how Jason is not to blame for most of the content on the ED page. Still no reply. After warning him about Blanca, SonichuFan1985 and Panda, Chris finally listens...only to talk about his beloved electric hedgehog Pokemon. Vivi sends two more emails concerning the fate of Sonichu that are never replied to.

'''October'''

Vivi sends three last emails to Chris about Blanca, his medallion, and to seek some psychiatric help. These also came with no reply.

=== 2009 ===
'''February'''

Vivian sends our favorite manchild an interesting idea: A daily webshow with various segments on Chris and Sonichu. Chris "considers it", but it was never brought into action. A few days later, Chris tells Vivi to tell Clyde to stop picking on him. Vivi says she has no power over that, but does suggest he start cleaning up his act by getting a [[job]] and pay off his debts.

[[Image:Cheers06.jpg|thumb|left|[[The_Miscreants|Hail, hail, the gang's all here!]]]]

'''May'''

Chris informs Vivi that Clyde has hacked into his PSN account, costing him $15.98 of his $20 PSN card. He then asks Vivi to send him a check for the lost money, thinking Vivian is "taking the reigns ''[sic]''" for Clyde. Vivian, like most would, does not send him the money.

'''August'''

Chris thanks the trolls for making him grow up to be a [[Chris_and_anger|stronger person]].

{{quote|You still haven't learned anything have you?|Vivian's response, telling it like it is.}}

He then finds out that Vivian is getting paid for selling copies of his [[DVD]]. Enraged, Chris claims Vivi to be in violation "[[Chris and the Law|of the Counterfeit Laws]]". He asks her to scan her driver's license for proof of her identity, unaware that she does not drive a car. Realizing his false accusation, he asks her to upload her passport.

'''September'''

After no reply, Chris sends her [[death threats]] before blocking Vivian's email for two months.

'''November'''

Chris contacts Vivian for the first time since blocking her. He apologizes for his previous outbursts and asks for 25% of all the money she has, "and will have, made from all that you have put together and sold, as well as two copies of each CD/DVD of the [[Audiobooks]], and two of each other additional merchandise aside from the Audiobooks." Immediately, Vivian tells him to go fuck himself. Chris then asks Vivian to be his manager of business relations. Vivian says he'd be better off making a promotional video of his pitch for Sonichu.

The next few emails Chris sends are not as frequent, leaving Vivian to believe he's being a lazy shit as always. Chris is indeed being undoubtedly [[Chris_and_negotiation#Chris.'s_Tactics|lazy]], not working on Sonichu pages much of the Thanksgiving weekend.

== Blanca Emails ==

{{main|Blanca Emails, August 2008}}

'''August 2008'''

<gallery>
Image:BlancaFake01.jpg|"Blanca"
Image:BlancaFake02.jpg|"Bonsai!"
Image:Jiggy.jpg|"Jiggliami"

</gallery>

Blanca sends Chris an email with an attachment of her [[Jiggliami]] character. Chris immediately requests that she wear high heels, thus taking his first step into making this character just another lifeless husk along with the rest of the females in his comic. Blanca agrees, because 'she's a diva and all.' Chris then creates an image of Jiggliami, and suggests that he mail her a physical copy for decorative purposes, under the assumption that his [[art]] is high quality. Blanca says she would love a copy. Without fail, he begins to hand her his neckbeard resume of interests, to which she responds to with a picture of a young "her" holding an electric guitar on a trampoline. Chris flirts with her here and there while discussing Jiggliami's future role in the comics.

{{Quote|And I do not mean to sound like a panther, ready to sieze[sic] the moment... although the thought obviously passed my mind... *blush*}}
{{Quote|I'm only trying to find a method of being able to see you from on your side of the computer, so I can feel more confident and trusting of you to grow our friendship better. And I feel it's a good idea to look into chatting over IM, maybe with an attached webcam, or you could make and upload a video of yourself doing something neat or whatever. You know that I Like You; I'd like to be able to have more confidence in my "Like" for you that can make it grow into honest, well-trusted "Love". I think you can understand. }}

They continue a string of emails in which they bond over [[Biological Clock|biological clocks]], [[Sexism|shopping]], and [[nudes]].

Being the master of flirtation both verbal and written, Chris decides an appropriate topic of discussion to ease the young girls mind would be a talk about how the DING DANG DIRTY TROLLS have ruined his [[Rosechu|true and honest female protagonist]]'s image after he recieves no response to a creepy message that really implied a relationship very horribly. Of course, he tries to add a bit of [[Random-access_humor|banter and cameraderie]] to the conversation with an overt Family Guy idiom.

{{Quote|The MAJOR thing about the page that REALLY Grinds My Gears is all the lewd, slanderous, parodied images of my Rosechu with a dick; SHE IS ALL WOMAN!!! She was born with, and STILL HAS HER GOD-GIVEN VAGINA and both OVARIES. I would Seriously Really Wish and Like VERY MUCH see ALL the [[pickle|dicked-up images]] Removed from the page and replaced with MORE ACCURATE Fanart of [[rosechu|Rosechu]] with VAGINA. }}

Desperate and worried that the trolls had frightened her off, Chris sent another email with an apology for the actions of the DING DANG DIRTY TROLLS, and their jealousy of his [[Chris and reality|Far superior class and financial position]]

{{Quote|It has been brought to my attention that some of my haters are putting the pain in your YouTube Profile Comments. I felt it was my duty to warn you myself; I hope you do not let those nasty comments get to you. They're just blowing off steam from their jealousy or whatever. }}

After a bit of flirting and advice about [[Dox|internet safety]] Chris pops the question below as a measure to ensure his[Love Quest|agenda's]] success.

{{Quote|I understand how you feel. Are you and I still growing friends?}}
To which she responds with an attached picture of "herself" holding a small Bonsai tree.

Chris then decides that outright lies and understatements are all fair in the world of email love, and offers his mother and father's home phone as a medium of contact, considering she seemed [[True and Honest|to be buying into his autistic "game".]]

As usual, Chris decides the best way to get revenge on the aforementioned trolls would be to draw the events of the previous few months in a comic.
It takes only sentences, and Chris is FULL-ON raging about [[4-cent garbage|the ED trolls]], offering Blanca something not many (lol oops) will see out of Sonichu: DELETED SCENES.

{{Quote|And, DELETED SCENE, Jason tells Rosechu, "That's right go. Go, and play with your Pickle." Then he chucks a Real Vegetable Pickle, and it hits Rosie on the head, as she carries Sonichu. She pauses, Sonichu stands still next to her on his own, she picks up the pickle on the floor, quivers a moment, then becomes enrage with fires of fury. She turns around, takes a few steps towards Jason, pauses, bends down to unzip her boots, looks back to Sonichu and tells him to get ready (for her quick striptease). She jumps high out of her boots, goes into an aerial spin jump, undoes her skirt, tosses that to Sonichu, he catches it. Then her shirt. Then she lands five feet in front of her boots, in nothing but her C-Cup Bra and panties. She shouts to Jason, "I've got three shocking bits for you, Jerk!" She undoes her bra from the front, reveals her left breast, then her right and tosses the bra back to Sonichu. She jumps, ninja warrior stance in mid-air, drops her panties to the floor under her... pounces onto Jason's face, her vagina opening landing on his nose, her legs wrapped tight around his head. She squeezes his head with her legs, rubbing her pussy in his face with fury. After half-a-minute, jumps off him, lands between her panties and her boots on floor, her naked butt and back, facing Jason, who is alive, but fainted, his hood is down, revealing his face, with dizzy spiral in his eye. She turns her head and looks at him, like a bull after taking down its opponent. Then she collects her panties and boots; walks victoriously with Sonichu holding the rest of her clothes back to the elevator. She would clothe herself on the way down with her Sweet Bolt in awe of her, and turned on. }}

{{Emails}}
[[Category:E-mails]] [[Category:Historical Documents]]

July 2012

2012-08-12T02:28:35Z

Grandma Nazi: Removed speculation.

[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|Being an [[This is how the Trial went|adult autistic child]], Chris avoided the Jailbird Saga.]]
'''July [[2012]]'''. For many, it heralded the coming of [[United States of America|Independence Day]], fireworks and freedom. For [[Chris]], it heralded the day on which his freedom was taken away, as the fallout from [[28 October 2011]] came to a head with his indictment that took place on the 10th. Though he avoided time in prison, he, along with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]], was sentenced to community service and psychiatric evaluation, with the threat of jail hanging over his head if he [[Chris and the Law|misbehaves again]].

Despite this, however, July was a surprisingly quiet month, with only one [[Facebook]]-based public display on Chris' behalf following the trial.

==Events==
* 10 July - At 2:00 p.m. [[Wikipedia:Eastern Standard Time|EST]], Chris and Barb were arraigned on their [[28 October 2011|felony charges]]. They were sentenced with community service and probation time each, and Chris must attend [[chris and reality|psychiatric treatment and evaluation.]] Community service was suggested by his lawyer to help "reintegrate Chris into society," and will likely be the [[11042009 51 50|hardest thing]] Chris has done in his life yet.
* 11 July - Chris updates on [[Facebook]] to confirm that the [[This is how the Trial went|account of his trial]] given by Cyan and Indigo was true, and issues an empty threat about bringing them in.
*12 July - The ''[[Chris in the media#Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' publishes [http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php an article] in which Chris is referenced.

{{Timeline}}

Chris and contests

2012-08-11T05:42:32Z

Grandma Nazi: Took out some condemnation of Chris.

Since winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], Chris has entered a number of '''contests'''.

==Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes==
:''Main article: [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]''
The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 [[wikipedia:KB_Toys|Kay-Bee Toys]] shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]].

This is one of the defining moments of young Chris's life, being the first of many contests Chris has entered over the years.

==Harvey Birdman Commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]''
{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l_b7S4i99JI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}; Contest
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl]]
| next = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
}}

In February 2005, Cartoon Network held a contest inviting viewers to make a commercial for the Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law Vol. 1 DVD set. Chris did not win the contest, or even place in the top five. This inspired him to post a complaint on the [[Adult Swim]] forums.

=="What would you do for a PS3?" contest==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pixelated PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_PYyrmtbLTw}}
| stardate = 28 [[November 2006]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
| next = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]}}

In November 2006, Chris entered [[Adult Swim]]'s "What would you do for a PS3?" contest. In his entry video, Chris says he'd throw away the cure for [[autism]], if he had it, would trade in his PS2, and would make a PS3 out of [[Pixelblocks]], and shows off his [[Pixelated PS3]]. Needless to say, Chris did not win the PS3.

==PaRappa the Rapper contest==
:''Main article: [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered the PaRappa the Rapper Contest, which required contestants to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo. Chris hoped that he would win, so that he could bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to give in to her obvious passion for him.

Chris's video made it into the top 10, from which the winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in July 2007. Despite a campaign on the part of Chris, the competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke the rules<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)."

==Radio station contests==
Chris created [[Li'l Chris]] at the "Create-A-Critter Workshop" after winning a gift certificate from a radio station sometime in his early 20s.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

In May 2010, Chris won four tickets to an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show from a radio call-in contest. As he could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple". This event prompted the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.

==GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]
Chris entered the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] in October 2008. The competition required entrants to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose", for the chance to win a $400 GameStop gift certificate.

Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and, mistakenly believing that the person with the most votes would star in the ''Guitar Hero'' game, and encouraged people to vote for Chris. Due to this Chris went on to win the competition.

==Jackass 3D Contest==
:''Main article: [[Cwcsicle]]''
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Frozen Stalagtite RECUT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mskavdOJJTs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2011]]
| Maker = shadupp
| Video Type = Parody
}}
In February 2010, Chris entered a contest for the movie Jackass 3D, in which the person who submitted the best prank would get to appear in ''Jackass 3D''. Needless to say, Chris did not win, as he violated the rules by sticking his [[duck|penis]] in the snow for fifteen minutes, when ''Jackass''-style pranks were forbidden, and contests were supposed to send in plans or sketches.<ref>http://jackass-3d-contest.wonderhowto.com/blog/jackass-3d-prank-contest-0118504/</ref>

==Dog Days of Summer Photo Contest==
[[Image:Mikmmp.jpg|thumb]]
On August 1, 2012, trolls discovered the existence of [[Clover and Snoopy]]. Chris decided to take pictures of them and post his photos on the internet in an attempt to gain votes for a contest.. In the description he writes, "Snoopy has a hat on his tush, and Clover is looking at the camera."

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

User talk:Kwyjibo

2012-08-08T00:08:59Z

Grandma Nazi: Created page with "Kwyjibo, aah, from back when the Simpsons was good... ~~~~"

Kwyjibo, aah, from back when the Simpsons was good... [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 17:08, 7 August 2012 (PDT)

August 2012

2012-08-05T01:24:38Z

Grandma Nazi:

'''August [[2012]]''' began with the revelation that Chris has [[Clover and Snoopy|two new dogs]].

==Events==
* 1 August - The existence of Clover and Snoopy is revealed on the CWCki forums.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/chris-has-new-dogs-t2276972.html Chris has new dogs] (requires registration in order to view)</ref>
* 6 August - The beginning of the voting phase of the ''Dog Days of Summer Photo Contest'', in which Clover and Snoopy are participants.<ref name="contestrules">[http://charlottesvilleradiogroup.upickem.net/engine/Rules.aspx?contestid=64810]</ref>
* 12 August - The end of the voting phase of the ''Dog Days of Summer Photo Contest''.<ref name="contestrules" />

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

Template talk:People

2012-08-05T01:15:47Z

Grandma Nazi: Created page with "Do Chris's animals count as people? ~~~~"

Do Chris's animals count as people? [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 18:15, 4 August 2012 (PDT)

A Girl Who Brought Down the World

2012-08-04T10:36:54Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Chapter 22: Revenge */

"'''A Girl Who Brought Down the World'''" is a [[Wikipedia:Novelette|novelette]] written by [[vivitheg]] for [[wikipedia:National Novel Writing Month|NaNoWriMo]] 2008. It imagines a scenario that [[trolls]] have imagined for some time - what if [[Chris]] ruled the world?

The novelette also serves as an allegorical moral tale for Chris, with hopes Chris would see some parallel to his own life and do something to correct it.

== Chris's response ==

A copy was sent to Chris. His response was "I like the cover"<ref>[[Mumble 2]]</ref> and expressed concerns that he was being charged for it.

{{Quotebox|I just received a copy of your book, "A Girl who Brought Down the World", from createspace.com in the mail. I'm writing this e-mail to inquire of who's paying for the book? Because the Billing Address had MY address in it in the enclosed receipt. Look, I appreciate the gesture, but I wish for the issue to be straightened out from the author who most likely did the dirty work of sending it and the bill my way.

Again, who is paying for this book? Please reply.

Merry Christmas,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

NaNoWriMo participants get one free copy of their novels from CreateSpace, so vivitheg likely told them to send it to Chris.

Chris never read the book. Instead, he lied about reading it and gave it to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his pastor]] as a Christmas gift. Soon after, Chris reported that she hated the book and he hates it too.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref> A few days later he admitted to Vivian that he never read it, but [[Lies|promised]] to "make time" to read it soon.<ref>[[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Are_you_doing_anything.3F_.E2.80.94_21_January]]</ref>

== Plot summary==
===Chapter 1: Neighbors===

A young girl named Kid has just moved to a new city with her parents, Miles and Mimi, and her older sister, [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]]. Vivian quickly gets bored of sitting around the house and brings Kid with her to meet their new next-door neighbor: a large, smelly man named [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christopher Winnfield Vega]].

Christopher, who goes by “Chris”, goes into great detail explaining to Vivian and Kid how he once lost his [[gal-pal]], [[Megan|Melanie]]. Getting creeped out by Chris's story of a duel won and a beloved lost, Vivian tells Kid that Chris is “[[Santa Claus]]’s evil brother”, and the two of them flee his house.

After hearing about how rudely Vivian treated Chris, Mimi invites him over for dinner the next evening as a way of patching things up. Chris finds Mimi attractive but shudders when he learns that her racial identity is [[Niggos|part-African]]. He nevertheless graciously accepts her dinner invitation.

===Chapter 2: Memories===

Vivian is desperate to learn more about Chris, so she brings Kid with her to Waynesworth Enterprises to find and question Melanie, who works there. Soon after arriving at Waynesworth, Vivian admits to Kid that Chris isn’t really “Santa Claus's evil brother”… just a terrible person.

Once Vivian and Kid locate Melanie, who goes by “Mel”, they’re told all about how she has a restraining order against Chris because of his constant sexual harassment in the past. Mel insists on telling the girls’ parents about Chris, and she heads home with the two of them.

As the girls return, Chris notices from his bedroom window that Mel is with them, and he assumes that Vivian and Kid are trying to help him reunite with her. He labors to make himself look presentable and heads next door only to be told by Mimi that their dinner plans are off.

===Chapter 3: Cops===

Kid emerges from her room to find the house in ruins. Turning on the news, she learns that her family, Mel, Chris, and [[Jerkop|the police]] are all involved in one big high-speed chase. Chris can't be stopped because a new law states that harming him in any way may result in life imprisonment.

As the family’s car runs out of gas, Miles is forced to pull over into a gas station. Chris pulls over in turn and heads after Mel on foot. Soon, Chris has lowered his pants around his ankles only to trip over them, and the police have rescued Mel and Kid's family for the time being.

While everyone is waiting around at the police station, Chris’s half-brother, [[Cole Smithey|Jones Brimley]], shows up and offers to let them all stay at his place, where they should be safe from Chris. Meanwhile, back at the gas station, Chris finally picks himself up and resumes his [[love quest]] for Mel.

===Chapter 4: Asylum===

At his mansion, Jones explains to Mel and Kid's family that living with his failure of a half-brother had inspired him to move out in search of success. That night, Chris scales the mansion's electric fence and is stopped only by the sight of Jones's female bodyguard stripping naked.

Soon afterward, [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|the Republican Party]] announces that Chris will be their next presidential candidate. One year later, Chris is elected [[A Public Announcement for Congress|President]] in a landslide victory, just as feared. He immediately announces that he will put an end to terrorism, [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (United States)|the Democratic Party]], and [[Homos|gay rights]].

Chris adds that [[Sonichu (character)|Rabbichoso]], an "original" fictional character of his creation, will be serving as his VP. His first official act as President is to offer cash rewards for Mel’s capture and the murder of Kid’s family. Vivian declares that her family must somehow kill Chris before he can kill them.

===Chapter 5: Staff===

Chris goes on air to name his Cabinet. [[Punchy|Fighting Rabbichoso]] will be his [[Wikipedia:United States Secretary of State|Secretary of State]], [[Wild|Grass Rabbichoso]] his [[Wikipedia:United States Secretary of Agriculture|Secretary of Agriculture]], [[Angelica|Holy Bunnichoso]] his [[Wikipedia:United States Secretary of the Interior|Secretary of the Interior]], and [[Bubbles|Water Bunnichoso]] his [[Wikipedia:United States Secretary of Health and Human Services|Secretary of Health]]. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic Rabbichoso]] will be his Secretary of Dating.

Chris next announces that he's still seeking an 18-27 year-old female to marry. A young woman who goes by “[[Cogsdev|cogs]]” fills out Chris’s online application as a joke. An hour later, two [[Wikipedia:Secret Service|Secret Service]] agents appear at her doorstep, knock her out, and drag her back to Chris’s quarters.

Chris isn't immediately sure that cogs is his [[sweetheart]], but after measuring her weight and breasts, testing her driving ability, and smelling her [[hair]], he weds her. When it comes time to consummate the marriage, cogs reveals that she cannot bear children, and Chris has her executed.

===Chapter 6: Patriots===

Mel, apparently long pregnant with Jones's baby, is about to go into labor. Everyone rides along to the hospital together before splitting up: Mel and Jones into the hospital, Mimi and Kid to a grocery store, and Miles to a nearby sporting goods store. Vivian opts to stays with the car.

While checking out, Mimi is attacked by her cashier, who warns the whole store that the “terrorists” have been found. Meanwhile, Miles is being chased by a mob after stealing some golf clubs. A former friend of Chris’s named [[Anna McLerran|Shana]] appears and rescues everyone just in time.

Back at the White House, Chris is busy consulting with the members of his Cabinet. Before long, Rabbichoso is having loud “sex” with his wife, [[Rosechu|Bunnichoso]]. When Secret Service agents begin to voice their concern, Chris fires them and barricades himself in the basement with a janitor.

===Chapter 7: Faults===

At the hospital, Mel tells Jones that she’s afraid that Chris is going to capture her and her unborn child. Jones sets out alone in desperation only to be captured himself. After explaining her awkward history with Chris to Kid’s family, Shana rescues Mel and her newborn son, Matt.

Soon afterward, Jones awakens on a plane and has a video confrontation with Chris. Meanwhile, Rabbichoso goes on air to dismiss Congress, declaring a “time of crisis”. As [[America]]’s supreme dictator, Chris demands that every city show its love for Rabbichoso or face annihilation.

Police then surround Shana's home, but Shana pleads with one of the officers, and he agrees to let everyone escape. Fearing assassination, Chris nukes the White House with himself still inside. [[DJ Jamsta|Black Rabbichoso]], Secretary of Music, then spreads disinformation about this “attack”.

===Chapter 8: Education===

A twelve-year-old boy named Cameron enters his first [[dating education]] class. His teacher, a loud man named [[Billy Mays|Mr. MAYS]], plays a video tape in which Psychic Rabbichoso tells children how to stay straight and get dates. Cameron zones out, imagining Chris ranting about minorities.

Once the video ends, Cameron takes a test on dating dos and don'ts. When he admits to having had one or two gay thoughts, Secret Service agents show up to knock him out and drag him away. Meanwhile, his town puts on its state-mandated Rabbichoso parade, floats and all.

Cameron wakes up in a holding cell with some other boys and girls his age. Psychic Rabbichoso informs the children that they are about to be “un-gayed”. Sent to separate, slowly-flooding chambers in boy-girl pairs to have sex, each couple will drown unless each boy [[semen|cums]] into a [[fapcup|cup]].

===Chapter 9: Magic===

Chris goes on air to remind America that most of the “terrorists” are still at large. [[Wes Iseli|A magician]] returns to his home and is confronted by a police officer who accuses him of aiding these fugitives. The magician escapes by teleporting himself to the home of his former love, [[Sarah Hammer|Sally]].

Despite her hurt feelings, Sally agrees to shelter the magician. That night, she turns on her TV to find Chris, who happens to be a former friend of hers, meeting with his Cabinet about women’s role in society. She remembers how grateful she was when [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain witch]] rid her of him.

The next morning, Sally finds that Chris is still broadcasting from his "office", and that the magician has just teleported himself there to battle him. In his own mind, Chris gains the advantage with the help of his Cabinet and prepares to finish the magician off with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hex-me-ha-me-ha]].

===Chapter 10: Crossroads===

The magician begins ridiculing Chris for imagining himself to be so much more powerful than he is. Abruptly, the janitor withdraws a pistol and shoots the magician. Chris moves to televise this victory, but before he can, the magician teleports himself to Sally’s house as he lies dying.

Meanwhile, Shana, Melanie, and Kid’s family are driving to D.C. An unfamiliar woman starts following them, and when they stop the car to get gas, she pulls into the gas station. Kid’s family fears the worst until the woman identifies herself as Sally and explains that she wants to help.

Sally presents the group with some credit cards from her work and a map of the White House basement that the magician had given to her just before he died. She then leaves, declining to join the group on their journey. Later, she travels alone into a forest to visit the magician’s grave.

===Chapter 11: Outside===

Chris goes on air to explain to men across America how to be better fathers. Fighting Rabbichoso then informs Chris that he should spend some time improving foreign relations. When the Chinese president tells Chris that Taiwan pirates video games, he nukes that whole country.

Soon afterward, Chris nukes both South Korea for sympathizing with Taiwan and Poland for stealing jobs from the UK. Upset that no one has yet commended him, he calls the Iraqi president to learn what he can do to assist ''his'' country. As requested, he bombs 1/5 of the entire world.

All surviving countries are terrified, aware that America is the only nation to still possess nuclear weapons. When the President of Brazil tells Chris not to contact his country, Chris fires another nuke. However, [[Bill The Scientist|he spills some soda]] onto the missile console, and the nuke hits Canada.

===Chapter 12: Brimley===

Chris goes into the basement to check on his half-brother, Jones. They have a heated conversation about relationships, and Jones points out how inept Chris is at understanding them. Chris, being the selfish person he is, believes that everything should be handed to him on a silver platter.

Chris then goes on a rant about how the [[Homos|homos]] keep tempting him to join their side. This leaves Chris [[Stress|stressed]] and he returns to the main room to sleep. He gets woken up by the janitor, who reminds him he must do his daily broadcast, even though it's 2 a.m. He announces the addition of Black Rabbichoso (AKA [[Blake|Thomas]]) to his Cabinet, as the new Secretary of Defense.

Shana and Vivian talk in the car about their plot to kill Chris, while looking over the details about how to enter the underground basement.

===Chapter 13: Crushed===

Kid notices that they need gas, so they pull into the next gas station. The owner recognizes Melanie and gets his shotgun. Vivian throws a pocket knife into his arm but he manages to shoot her in the leg. Being in no condition to travel, she tells the rest to leave her behind. She is taken to the hospital but requires a wheelchair.

The Secret Service is there to pick her up. They fly Vivian to Chris's basement, where he greets her after taking a shower. Vivian talks to Jones in the basement while Chris announces the capture of one of the Terrorist Four. Chris declares Vivian as his back-up girlfriend and wheels her off into another part of the basement. He coats her in white paint as God intended him to have a [[Niggos|white girlfriend]], and goes back upstairs.

Chris later comes down for their date, and Vivian hides a knife to kill him with when the time is right. They dine on burgers from Burger Palace. After the janitor leaves the room, she wheels over to Chris and takes out the knife. Chris declares he can cut his own burger and raises his arms in surprise. The stench overpowers Vivian and she's knocked out.

===Chapter 14: Hero===

Chris phones his old school friend, [[Joshua Martinez|Phillip Gonzalo]], for advice with the ladies. After the conversation is over, Phillip falls into an uneasy dream. The [[dream]] is about the time he first met Chris, and they play video games. The dream changes to Chris seeing him kissing his [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend]], then to an [[E-mail]] he sent Chris informing him of a date he set up. This wakes him up suddenly and he wonders why [[Chris]] is still alive.

Vivian wakes up in a bed, nude, with her clothes neatly folded on a cabinet. Chris, who had been watching her, notices that she's conscious and walks in with his shirt off. He tries to kiss her and she slaps him. He phones Phillip again for advice, and he begs Chris to stop after he finds out she's under age.

Chris forces himself upon Vivian, who fights against him. In the struggle, she pulls one of his eyes clean out. Chris runs shrieking out the room. Rabbichoso then goes on air announcing Chris is on a short vacation. He then fires Psychic Rabbichoso for failing to keep everyone straight, and offers the role of President to whomever can deliver the rest of the three remaining terrorists along with Melanie and Shana.

===Chapter 15: Alamo===

Kid, upset by the capture of Vivian, is left bent upon revenge against Chris. The engine dies just as several cars begin following them. They gather weapons and jump out the car. A fight breaks out between them and a gang after the reward. After all but the leader, Bon, have been killed, she calls for backup. Several people come with swords, led by Clyde.

After another fight, Bon and Miles have a one-on-one duel for Mimi, who is taken hostage. Bon pulls a gun, but trips and Miles picks the gun up. He shoots her in the face. Melanie kills Clyde with a throwing knife to the heart. They realize that Kid and Matt are missing, taken hostage by the two remaining gang members.

The gang offers a trade -- Kid and Matt for Miles and Mimi, as their bounty is higher. They agree, but as they're being tied up, Miles attacks and takes one down. Mimi runs to safety but Miles is killed in the process. The remaining member is brutally killed by Shana. Chris informs Vivian her father is dead, saying that he should be more careful next time.

===Chapter 16: Witch===

Chris makes an announcement of the death of Miles, then parades his two captives on TV. An old woman watches this broadcast. In the car, they realize they're running low on supplies and the nearest town is 800 miles (1,288 km) away. They spot an old hut nearby and investigate. Inside they find a witch named [[Mary Lee Walsh|Eva G. Warren]] who gave the unnamed magician his powers.

She reveals that before she gained her powers, used to be a principal of the school Chris attended and stopped him [[Love Quest|soliciting sex]] from other students. Suddenly she vanishes, and her voice informs them she has passed on. Kid finds some gum in the pocket of her clothes, which had fallen to the ground, and chews it.

Chris looks in the mirror and [[Honest Content|is disgusted by what he sees]]. After a brief talk to Jones, he decided that the cops that took her away must die.

===Chapter 17: Reflection===

Chris makes an announcement that every [[jerkop|cop]] must die. An ex-officer named Jim, who let Shana go when police surrounded her house, receives a call from an officer asking for assistance. He goes to the station to help out. While moving his car to find civilians to evacuate, he sees several houses on fire. He returns to find the station ablaze too.

Jim, a fellow officer, and a hundred civilians take shelter in a Gym. A few nights later, they see a dozen thugs armed with chainsaws advancing. Mr. Mays finds his classroom empty. The principal and Mays set off to find the children, and discover they've been taken to a factory. Mays cuts through a fence and tasers several Secret Service agents blocking their way. More agents spot them, and Mays shoots them with his EZGun. They rescue the children.

Sally goes to the grave of Eva, who apparently committed suicide aged thirty-four. She obtains a key from the grave. Back in the Gym, the thugs are breaking in, after their supplies and killing the other officer. Jim shoots several dead but the remaining manage to encircle him. The civilians then start attacking the thugs, killing them with their chainsaws. On the radio, Chris announces his plans to dominate the globe.

===Chapter 18: Doctrine===

Chris decides to spread his view of [[Religion|Christianity]], despite Rabbichoso and Holy Rabbichoso's protests. As he spreads his view, Jones, Melanie, Vivian and her family discuss how wrong Chris's views are, in utter disbelief that people still accept this. They also provide commentary towards his views on [[homosexuality]] and the [[Chris and religion|seven deadly sins]], with Jones telling more about Chris's past.

As Mimi shuts off the radio, Kid mentions that she's glad she had great parents and knows that there needs to be good people in the world and knows the bad ones can change... except Chris.

===Chapter 19: Escape===

Vivian and Jones still remain inside Chris's basement, unable to escape, thinking that the others are unable to come and rescue them. Vivian gets an idea on how to escape (which she admittedly hates), attempting to seduce Chris by deciding to have him have a threesome with herself and Jones. Chris is disgusted by this, but when Vivian decides to go back to [[Homos|lesbianism]], Chris changes his mind.

When Vivian's bad leg gives out, Jones goes to get a wheelchair to get Vivian out, leaving her alone with Chris. Chris attempts to get it on with Vivian alone, but she wants another man. Chris attempts to get the janitor in on this, but he declines. The mentioning of Melanie gives Vivian hope that her family's still alive. She asks why Chris wants to lose his [[virgin]]ity, and he tells her that it would make him a man. Vivian, in disgust, says that losing his virginity is more than that, but Chris doesn't listen.

When Jones returns, Chris attempts to initiate the threesome, only to have the two attempt to escape. The janitor returns and attempts to kill Vivian, only for Jones to take the bullet. He attempts to fire again, only to learn he's out. Vivian makes her escape and discovers that, outside, its a wasteland and that her father's body has been defiled. Weakened by the pollution and horror, Vivian passes out.

The janitor checks on Chris and attempts to see about his wounds, but Chris blows him off, taking some pills to cure his headache and goes off to make a message. In the bedroom, Jones dies of his wounds.

===Chapter 20: Edge===

Chris [[crash into slumber|crashes into slumber]] after failing to lose his virginity, but comes to the next day. Chris continues to demand that they find Melanie and brushes off Mimi and Kid as terrorists, thinking that they're too busy shopping.

Meanwhile, Kid has a nightmare about Chris and Rabbichoso and wakes up crying. When the group attempt to drive through a dust storm, it destroys their car's engine. The five split up into the dust storm, Mimi, Matt and Melanie going one way and Kid and Shana going another. Mimi, Matt and Melanie discover a child in a school, who accept them. The quickly rally behind the three when they mention that they were going to end Chris's reign, but they are forced to leave them to protect them

Shana and Kid find themselves lost, only to end up in an abandoned house. Kid wants to stay and wait, but Shana wants to keep going, only to be affected by the dust storm, which kills her.

===Chapter 21: Genes===

Kid uses a compass to leave into the storm, reuniting with the others. After paying their respects to Shana, the four continue on. Melanie thinks it's hopeless to continue on, but Kid wants to keep pushing on, for everyone's sake.

They find a hut, with a person, Chris's half-sister Karen Vega, inside. There, she tells them that she designed the suits allowing others to enter the area, then tells her story of how she was hated by Chris for being geeky, but, when he became president, she was forced to design suits for radiation protection. She reveals that three special suits were designed, but they took two - a child-sized suit was left behind. She gives it to Kid, but dismisses the notion of her wanting to kill Chris.

When Kid marches out alone into the void, Karen goes to stop her, only to be struck down by the dust. With one last goodbye, Kid walks back into the void to kill Chris.

===Chapter 22: Revenge===

Kid continues her trek, seeing the devastation left behind by Chris's actions. As she does, she ends up discovering the building holding Chris's basement... then discovers Vivian and Miles's bodies. She hallucinates seeing Vivian and Miles, both of them trying to deter her from her mission. She ends up passing out and waking up sometime later.

Inside, Chris asks if he's a good president. Rabbichoso says he is, but Thomas tells him that humanity must be purged. Chris tells Thomas that there's a woman out there for him, but Thomas continues to tell him that he will be killed and that if humanity isn't purged, he will die. The janitor finds Chris talking to pieces of paper. The janitor wants to send Chris to a psychiatrist, but Chris turns him down and decides to take a nap.

In a hallway, Kid ends up discovering a few drawings he did including [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Chris finger-banging Melanie]] and [[Saddest Heart in the World|a poem]] before continuing on.

===Chapter 23: Everything===

Kid finally makes it to Chris's room and prepares to kill him, only to be stopped by the janitor. The janitor reveals himself to be [[troll|Hendrix]], who used Chris to control the [[U.S.]] He reveals that he used Chris to run America to the ground, then revealed that he worked for China.

He goes on to explain that he was part of a group that helped [[Bush]] win the 2008 elections and that they were the ones who got [[Obama]] into office. With America weak, they chose Chris to be the next President, using the promise of getting Melanie to get him to join. Kid is stunned by these revelations, Hendrix goes to kill her, only to be saved by Chris.

Chris, in his hallucinated state, is told by Rabbichoso that he has no future, that there's no hope for him and goes to leave. Chris panics and tries to run after him, only to hit a self-destruct device. Kid tries to kill Chris, but decides to let the explosion kill him. She escapes and reunites with everyone.

===Chapter 24: Reset===

Kid writes in her diary, as everyone attempts to try to live in a world after Chris. Meanwhile, a group of Chinese attempt to destroy America only to have themselves wiped out...

...and [[God]], in stitches over the massive chain reaction the creation of Chris (an idea he got whilst being drunk) have caused, decides to reset the world.

In Nevada, [[cogs]] takes a breath of fresh air, then goes back inside to play video games.

In Shana's house, Jim proposes to Shana, who accepts.

In Washington D.C., Karen becomes the first female President, hoping to end the line of deception her family was known for.

At the grave of Eva G. Warren, Sally and the magician mourn her passing.

Mr. MAYS hits it big and quits teaching.

Cameron tells a girl how he feels about her and she invites him to her house. There Mr. MAYS is on television. His odd commercial makes the two want to smoke.

Melanie attempts to hire Jones, but declines, only to invite her inside his house for coffee.

Kid admits that Vivian's probably the only person she can trust, but Vivian gets her to try to enjoy the rest of life and takes her on a tour of the city...

===Chapter 25: Christopher===

And we see Chris's new life.

Chris is born, and his parents think he's destined for great things.

At a park, years later, Chris and Jones are playing on the swings. Jones wants Chris to push him for a change, but Chris complains that he might get hurt if he does, so he makes Jones do it.

Years later, Chris is attempting to pick up a girlfriend at the mall while Jones is trying to get them some clothes. He's disgusted by Chris's actions.

At Chris's graduation, Karen watches as Chris hesitates in getting his diploma.

Years later, Chris meets Shana in a grocery store. Shana tells Chris to leave, but Chris takes it as someone talking to him.

Outside Waynesworth Enterprises, Chris meets Melanie and befriends her. Sometime later, he tries to enter the Game Wars store, only to be stopped by police.

Years later, Chris sends a letter to Jones about their parents' passing, ranting about other stuff along the way.

Soon, he meets Vivian and Kid's family, acting the same way he did in the beginning. After that day, they never see each other again.

Years later, Vivian has married [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] and calls Kid, only for her to tell her to watch [[TV]]. On there, Chris has held an employee hostage inside a mall as the cops attempt to free his hostage and take him down.

Years later, he's locked up in an mental institution, incompetent to stand trial. After having a dream he thinks is from God, he leaps through a window to his death.

No one comes to his funeral.

== Characters ==

'''Christopher Winnifred Vega''' - Analogue to Christian Weston Chandler and main antagonist of the story. He becomes president through the machinations of a group of [[trolls|Chinese]] seeking to bring down the US. In the original timeline, Chris is killed in the destruction of his bunker. In the reverted timeframe, he throws himself out of a window thanks to a dream.

'''Kid''' - The main protagonist of the story. Her life is changed throughout the story as she's put on the run by Chris. In the end, she attempts to kill Chris, but allows him to die by his own stupidity. She is presumed killed in the nuclear fallout in the original time frame. In the reverted time frame, she lives a pretty normal life.

'''Vivian''' - Analogue to Vivian Gee and Kid's older sister. Goes on the run, then attempts to kill Chris. She is killed by the radiation fallout around Washington. In the reverted time frame, she ends up marrying a gang member named Clyde.

'''Miles and Mimi''' - Vivian and Kid's parents. When they go to protect Melanie from Chris's wrath, they are considered terrorists and are hunted down. Miles is killed protecting his family and Mimi is killed in the nuclear assault. In the reverted time line, their meeting with Chris goes sour and they never see him again.

'''Melanie''' - Analogue to Megan Schroeder. She is the reason Chris ends up becoming president. She has a child with Jones named Matt. She is presumed killed in the final nuclear attack in the original time frame. In the reverted time line, she is able to get away from Chris and ends up befriending Jones.

'''Jones Brimley''' - Analogue to Cole Smithy and Chris's half-brother. He goes to great lengths to protect Kid's family and Melanie from Chris's attacks. He is killed trying to protect Vivian from Chris. In the reverted time line, he's a popular writer and ends up befriending Melanie.

'''Karen Vega''' - Chris's half-sister. A genius who was forced to work for Chris after his election. She ends up giving Kid a suit that allowed her to enter Washington. She is killed by the radiation dust around the city. In the reverted time frame, she becomes President.

'''Shana''' - Analogue to Ann McLerran. She joins Kid's family after rescuing Melanie and Matt. She is killed by the radioactive dust. In the reverted time frame, she is proposed by Jim

'''Jim''' - A police officer and possible analogue to [[Bagget]]. He attempts to arrest Shana, only to let her go. He joins in the rescue of a number of children. In the reverted time line, he proposes to Shana.

'''Clyde''' - Analogue to [[Clyde Cash]] and a gang leader. He takes Kid and Matt hostage and attempts to get Mimi and Miles instead. He is killed in the ensuing scuffle. In the reverted time frame, he marries Vivian.

'''Mr. Mays''' - Analogue to [[BILLY MAYS]]. He was one of the teachers for Chris's mandated dating education. He ends up leading the charge to save the children. In the reverted universe, he ditches teaching and becomes a spokesman.

'''Cameron''' - a student in one of Chris's date ed classes. He is taken away for reprogramming for thinking gay thoughts. In the reverted time frame, he admits his feelings to a girl, then ends up deciding to smoke, thanks to one of Mr. Mays's commercials.

'''"cogs"''' - Analogue to cogsdev. Ends up filling out a form for kicks, only to be dragged in to be another one of Chris's wives-to-be. When she reveals she can't bear children, she's killed. In the reverted time frame, she lives a pretty normal life.

'''Rabbichosos''' - Analogue to Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo. Comprised of [[Sonichu|Rabbichoso]], [[Rosechu|Bunnichoso]], [[Wild|Grass Rabbichoso]], [[Angelica|Holy Bunnichoso]], [[Bubbles|Water Bunnichoso]], [[Punchy|Fighting Rabbichoso]], [[Magi-chan|Psychic Rabbichoso]] and [[Blake|Thomas]], they make up Chris's Cabinet.

'''Matt''' - Jones and Melanie's baby son. Named by Kid. Does not exist in the reverted timeline.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==The original text==

* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-CH1-5-102863247 Chapters 1 - 5]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-CH6-10-103157555 Chapters 6 - 10]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-11-14-103719474 Chapters 11 - 14]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-15-19-104009914 Chapters 15 - 19]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-20-24-104743076 Chapters 20 - 24]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-25-END-104952905 Chapter 25 (Final)]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AGirlWhoBroughtDownTheWorld TV Tropes]

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Girl Who Brought Down the World}}
[[Category:Trolling]]

File talk:Mikmmp.jpg

2012-08-04T08:31:57Z

Grandma Nazi:

What's the source of this picture? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 14:16, 3 August 2012 (PDT)
*Seems to be some kind of Photo Gallery/upload site, but I don't recognize the page layout... --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 23:45, 3 August 2012 (PDT)
Instagram, maybe? [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 01:31, 4 August 2012 (PDT)

Jackie E-mails 2

2012-08-04T01:12:33Z

Grandma Nazi:

{{main|Jackie E-mails}}

====More questionnaire, Game Place is brewing====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 11, 2010 - 4:00pm 
I had a nice time at my church today; it was a good service, and my pastor gave a delightful sermon.

I stopped by [[the Game Place]] afterwards, my past associate, Nathan was there; he greeted me, recognized me, and gave me the expected crap. I was all, "I can not believe this, it has been TWO YEARS and I am not forgiven? And I can not believe that man is STILL working here." And he was "Well, it doesn't matter, he is the manager" (more like [[Manajerk|ManaJerk]]) "if he has not given you permission to come back, and you don't leave right now, I will have to call the [[police]]." So I asked if he was there; [[Michael Snyder]] was not there, but he will be there tomorrow. I have just written/drawn up the game plan, with the goal in mind being getting the [[ban]] lifted off of me (relieving me of one less Major Worry). I plan on handling this as peacefully as possible; I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself. And with the recorded evidence I'll have from his own words, if it is good enough, and he does not forgive me or allow me back in, I may call the police on him.

I'm right now still recovering from the [[Stress|angst]] from the setback, but I'll survive, and I will win.

<nowiki>*deep breaths*</nowiki>

On a more pleasant note, during her sermon, my pastor, Elizabeth, had informed us of a fun 90+-year old dude who was silent, yet comedic. :)

He died recently, but she shared printed copies of a questionnaire he filled out for the Young Adult Group (of which Elizabeth gave her support on his honorary membership); his answers were very good, honest and fun to read.

I took a copy for myself; the questions are good, and I thought it would be fun for you and me to answer these as well.

1) If you could build your house anywhere, where would it be?
 -I would likely build my house here in [[Ruckersville]], [[Charlottesville]], or move back to Chesterfield County; all good places to live, plus my life is revolved around the three areas mostly.
 2) What's your [[Chris and fashion|favorite article of clothing]]?
 -I like my Jeans.
 3) What's your favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?
 -I like the face, because most of the time I look at the face, and I can see some of the personality behind it. Like behind your face, Jackie, I see a [[sweetheart|sweet and fun-loving woman]]. And from what I have heard from you so far, an honest and compassionate one, and I feel it is a woman like you I would want to be with for a long time. <3
 4) What's the last CD (and/or MP3) that you bought?
 -The last CD I bought was Celtic Woman, "Songs From the [Heart]", and the last MP3 I purchased was A Taste of Honey's "Boogie Oogie Oogie".
 5) Where's your favorite place to be?
 -[[Chris's room|My bedroom]].
 6) Where's your least favorite place to be?
 -Any place that is filled to the brim with [[Tobacky|smokers]].
 7) What's your favorite place to be massaged?
 -My shoulders.
 **Check out George's answer, "Depends on the definition of "place." One place is Healthsouth, 6910 Richmond Hwy. Ask for Michelle."
 8) What's most important, strong in mind or strong in body?
 -I like to think a strong mind is important, because not only does it store our personalities and intelligence, but also stores our will to be strong in body too.
 9) What time do you wake in the morning?
 -When I wake in the morning, it's usually [[Biological clock|between 8 and 9 AM]].
 10) What's your favorite [[TV]] show?
 (I already asked this last e-mail; see that for my answer as well)
 11) What's your favorite kitchen appliance?
 -Microwave.
 **George said "Chair".
 12) What's your favorite childhood memory?
 -Building with [[Lego]] bricks and pieces.
 13) What makes you laugh?
 -I'm going to agree with George on this one, [[Random-access humor|"Mostly things unexpected."]]
 14) What makes you really [[angry]]?
 -Again, with George, "[[Trolls|Mostly things expected, but better forgotten.]]"
 15) If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
 -I would say [[Gitar of fail|Guitar]], although my father showed me his Trumpet. I did try the Trumpet for a while, but it didn't work out for me.
 16) What's your favorite restaurant?
 -Country Cookin'.
 17) What was the scariest moment of your life?
 -When there is a chance I'm losing a really close friend or relative.
 18) If there was a movie about you, what current/former Hollywood Star would play you?
 -Peter Cullin (He was the voice of the original, and new movies, [[Optimus Prime]]); I feel he is capable of maintaining a noble type of personality that I feel I have, as well as the emotional ups and downs like I have felt, and still maintain the determination to move forward.
 19) Do you believe in afterlife?
 -Yes, and I also feel reincarnation is a possibility too.
 20) What was your favorite children's book?
 -"The Berenstain Bears and the Bad Habit".
 21) What is your favorite season?
 -Spring; it's getting warmer, but it's not too hot yet, and the plants are in bloom with life.
 22) What is your least favorite household chore?
 -Garbage duty; it ain't clean, but someone's got to do it.
 23) If you could have one super power, what would it be?
 -Psychic: Telekinesis, Teleportation, Seeing into the Future.
 24) If you have a tattoo, what is it?
 -I do not have any tattoos.
 25) Who was your first [[love]] and at what age?
 -(I said it before) Tiffany Robinson; 9 years old.
 26) What's the song you wish you had written?
 -Have Written It; a song about [[Autism]], it's called "[[A-U-T-I-S-M|A-U-T-ISM]]"; it's on my "[[Christian & the Hedgehog Boys]]" CD Album (currently solely in my posession). I may redo that song to better elaborate what Autism is. LOL.
 27) Do you prefer cats or dogs?
 -I like them both; they're fun, mostly cute, and they love you anyway.
 28) What's in the trunk of your [[car]]?
 -A car jack, a few blankets, and sometimes stuff that either has to be brought into the house or donated to a Goodwill.
 29) Who are some people likely to respond to this questionnaire?
 -They're asking for a name or two, but I say anyone who is willing to spare the time.
 30) Least likely?
 -People who are [[Chris|too engorged in their own selves]].
 31) What is your favorite day of the week?
 -Friday.
 32) Using only one word, describe yourself.
 -[[Chris and his ego|Noble]].

Wow, 31 more questions to answer in addition to the last e-mail I sent you; we're really getting to know each other here, Jackie-Heart. LOL

I await your reply; please be sure to read all of the e-mails before you reply, so you won't have to send multiple e-mails. Printing them out beforehand helps too.

Oh, let me go ahead and give you my cell phone number, (434)-760-0848. And please inform me of your number (including area code) so I can recognize it being you on my cell's caller ID.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Hugs and Kisses, 
Christian.}}

====The Game Place aftermath: Chris's version====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 12, 2010 - 6:02pm

I've just got back home. I returned to the Game & Hobby Place, to try to resolve peace and get myself unbanned from the store through [[Michael Snyder|MIchael]]. That [[jerk]] is soo Cold-Hearted; he looked at me, and he constantly said "No". At the end, he picked up his phone and started calling the police (I did [[Chris and English|not want no trouble]] with the Police), so I left, leaving him with a stern remark. I had my digital camera hidden in my vest pocket the whole time; I have the whole conversation very clearly recorded. Considering after what had transpired, I decided to upload the audio-only [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|video]] onto my [[YouTube]]. I tried to be nice and peaceful. Now HE will have to deal with my [[Trolls]] for his discrimination against me.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

At least I had my plan written out, and I was able to say most of my pre-thought lines. And I tried with a spice of attitude.

-How's your project that you told me about going for you? Knowing your spunky can-do attitude, I'll bet it is going very well.
 -I would like to invite you to come visit my church one sunday with me; the people are very nice, and the service is good.
 -How do you like the plan for our date on Friday? Do you want to meet at F.S. or at the Downtown Mall?
 -Did you take some more pics of yourself yet?
 -I am curious on your voice; may I get a sample of how you sound, please?
 -With that, do you consider yourself one with a fair singing voice?
 -How do you like my voice from my videos (if you have had the chance to see them)?

I'm gonna go get some dinner now; I'm having a [[McDonalds|salad with grilled chicken strips tonight]].

I'm still thinking sweetly and fondly of you. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Stay Safe, 
Christian.}}

====Jackie's Questionnaire #2====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 12, 2010 - 6:50pm 
Wow, let me get some of these questions down:

Favorite TV show: I don't watch much TV, don't really have time, but Oz was probably my favorite show ever.
 What is a word you just really hate hearing/being called? I think "stress" is a word I hear way too often. People all around me at school always complain about stress they're having, but it turns out to be an excuse not to do the hard work they need to be doing.
 If you could build your house anywhere, where would it be? Probably in Montenegro or the Peleponnese... such beautiful places.
 Where's your favorite place to be? A football field.
 Where's your least favorite place to be? Probably cooped up in my room.
 If you could play any instrument, what would it be? I already play one, the piano. I love it.
 Do you believe in the afterlife? I don't know, I'm more concerned with being a better person in this life, I'm not going to concern myself with trying to get to the next one.
 Using only one word, describe yourself: Selective.

You should learn to play the guitar, since you have plenty of time! I'd really love to hear you sing for me, Chris, but I'd love even more [[Liquid Chris|if you could play your guitar for me too]]. (Although it takes a long time and hard work to learn an instrument, so I can wait on that. But why would you want Peter Cullen to play you? I looked him up but he's really old, like 60. I think [[Obesity|Chris Farley]] kind of looks like you actually, he was hilarious.

Sorry if I seemed nagging about your [[sonichu]], I just want to know how much of your effort you put into it. How many hours a day do you spend working on it? What exactly do you do with it each day? This is kind of an important subject to me, Chris, I want to be with a man who is working for a living. I mean, how much [[money]] are you making off of sonichu? Or if you haven't really gotten it off the ground financially yet, where do you get your income from?

I'll talk more later, can't wait to hear about the Game Place!

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Jackie calls out Chris about The Game Place====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 12, 2010 - 7:20pm 
Um, hey, Chris.

So, I just watched the video... and honestly, I'm a little bothered by how you conducted yourself. Firstly, you called this Michael Snyder person a jew at the beginning? Why did you do that? You said you his name mean he was "possibly a jew" as [[Chris and race|if that was a bad thing]], what does that mean? And then on your way out you shouted "JEW" at him, what the hell was that about? And it sure didn't sound like he was being mean or anything like you said he would, he was just standing his ground. Can you explain to me your history with the Game Place a bit better? It feels like you might not be telling me everything.

And I encouraged you to stand your ground and settle your business peacefully and maturely. Instead, you shouted "JEW" and ran away after two minutes. Is that supposed to impress me? I'm going to let you know right now, this makes me mad. Do you have some kind of problem with jews? Maybe Snyder IS discriminating against you because you're autistic - but you just left after a few minutes? I thought you were going to be patient, do a sit-in, get the truth out of him. But at the first sign of resistance, you fled. You said "noble" was the one word you would use to describe yourself, but running away after two minutes isn't noble, it's childish. So now you don't KNOW that he hates you for being autistic. You also don't KNOW that he's a jew, either. Because you left in such a hurry, you don't know anything, you found out nothing. I think you need to go back and do this right.

I'll be waiting to hear from you,

Jackie}}

====Chris lies about The Game Place====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 13, 2010 - 2:44am 
That is very cool that you play the piano; are you pro with it, or do you play for fun? A football field for where you like to be, that's eat and interesting; is it because someone in your family is/was a football player, or maybe you were, or wanted to be, a cheerleader?

My [[mom]] was a cheerleader in her High School days; she kept her baton from then. Also, one game she was tackled by a football player; I forget if she ended up with a broken leg or something from that. I do remember that at her prom later on, she twisted her ankle doing the twist.

I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more heavyweight than me, and he was more wild than me. Still, it is your opinion, and I respect you and your rights.

{{anchor|ban}}
Actually, I have nothing against any jewish people, or their faith, and I agree I could have done better then. I did not want to deal with the police, and Michael WAS calling them up. I was abused by such people in my past. One time, at F.S. years ago, they handcuffed me and dragged me to their office. This was just after the real-life incident with that girl who was working at the Starbucks Kiosk then (as told in [[Sub-Episode 2]] of my [[comic]]s). They dragged me in for overreacting to the situation and causing a disturbance with my shout of "NOOOOOOooooooo!" And later on, at the Target in Forest Lakes; S-E 7+8, Handcuffed, Dogpiled, Hog-Tied, Head-Rubbed Hard on the carpet leaving a the injury on the left side of my forehead and ended up with a record. The charge was "Soliciting". A trial was held, and thanks to my volunteer work at the [[Pok'emon]] [[TCG]] League I was doing back then, I was found innocent and released of the charge.

As for The Place History, I was going there for about 5 or 6 years for Pok'emon League, [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] Tournaments and Universal Fighting System TCG. I was a volunteer "Gym Leader" (with Second-In-Command in that title), because the main leader was Tony Wayne, Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School. I worked hard keeping the younsters under control, constructing decks from their scattered collections now and then, and being Gym Leader and distributing all stamps and prizes appropriately (more so when Tony could not make it some Fridays). Also happened then throughout, my thing with [[Megan Schroeder]]; farthest I got from her was an "I Love You" before she did an 180 and was scared of me for being too close; she and I were very close friends, and I was very sad to see the friendship fade away. [[Daniel Mimms]] and his accomplice, [[Lucas]], were good dudes, but then I later learned that they STARTED up that page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] against me; Lucas took that vintage photo of me in my green/purple stripe shirt while I was playing a round of TCG with a lad. That same Saturday, and at that moment, I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. That Should Have Been Me. After seeing them like that, I was nearly paralyzed with shock, and for a while, I was static in motion and speech like a robot.

I do not, and probably will never, understand why Michael hated me, but he had that attitude against me for quite some time before that Wii incident just before June, [[2008]]. The only things I can recall way back in the years that may contribute to his angst against me...

 -As Gym Leader, I was always early, and I set up the tables/chairs, and I go into the back area to get the Big Tub of League Stuff. Michael may have had issues with me going into the back, even for the simple retrieval of the League Stuff for the weekly setup.
 -One Friday, there was chaos going on; some of the players were not playing fair, some were roughhousing, some were just being too loud; I tried to calm things down and get things back in order, but it was just too much, and I exploded with a very loud, short yell. Such uproar may have frightened Mike as well.
 -Shortly after finding the [[ED|E.D.]] page in late October, [[2007]]; I was seeking help in taking that site down, and even finding the perps who took that picture of me that was on that page from that Friday (the one of me in the green/purple stripes). My family and I went to and sat down with Mimms and Lucas, because we had known from the detective work that it was between those two that picture was taken then uploaded onto E.D. I think Mike may have had a fright from that event; it was like the police questioning the suspect while he/she was in a single chair under a single lamp. He may have had his own scandals that would have lead him into that situation eventually or previously.

Another thing I should mention about him, the Friday in June, '08 I was banned from the store, my mother was with me; she was 66 then, but we three met together in the back. During the whole thing, HE did NOT offer my mother a chair to sit in, and there was only ONE in the back, while there were others that were set up for the League that was starting up that week. My mom made that clear and raised her own fit about that to Mike, and when talking to the later-arrived police officer.

That's all I have in my memory about that. I would not be surprised if Mike DID have such criminal charges or sins against him, and that only HE knows and lives with that. Still, he did NOT have to be such a cold-hearted S.O.B.

Sit-In or not, I did not want more trouble with the police than the two times I've had already. And I would never want to end up in Jail either; it would be just as terrible, or worse, as if I had ended up in that Winchester Mental Institution... Restricted from bettering myself in life, being alone for the rest of my life, and such other tortures.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Also, I work on Sonichu about 2 or 3 hours a day; I have not gotten it off of the ground yet. I have said before that I am currently on S.S.I. for my income, and I am looking to be employed at the new [[Wal-Mart]] here.

I'll TTYL, Sweetie. Stay Safe.

Love, 
Christian.}}

====Chris is still bitter about Megan, Jackie calls him out====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 13, 2010 - 7:04pm 
Hi, Chris!

I actually never was a cheerleader, I love playing football, though. I was never on a school team but I was a better player than half my school team in high school.

So, if you have no problem with jews, why were you talking about them? You screamed "JEW" at him like an insult, you didn't address that even though I asked you why you did it in my last email. You can't just say "I have no problem with jews" when your actions show you obviously do, Chris. Don't lie to me. It's not manly to lie to a woman you're trying to court, Chris. You made a lot of talk about acting like a big man and standing up for your rights here, but once you face a little bit of resistence, you run away. So now you're not even going to try again? What did you think was going to happen, you'd win with absolutely no effort? What do you think a "sit-in" is? And you're in the right anyway, why would the police arrest you? I'm disappointed Chris, I think you need to go back and man up to your problem.

And what does it matter anyway if this Michael Snyder has criminal records or whatever like you speculate? What would that have to do with him keeping you out of the store? You shouldn't try to deflect the matter by smearing him, Chris. All you know about this guy is that he doesn't want you in the store, by your own admission you don't even know why. You don't know that he's a criminal. Instead of ask, you just assume again.

So why do you get social security? How much do you get each month? I thought you were getting sonichu published, but you only work on it a couple hours each day? What else do you do with your time? If you're getting paid by the government, you really should be trying to get on your feet, Chris. I heard about that new Wal-Mart, and it's good that you want to get a job, but why are you so set on applying there? It won't even be open for a few months, at least. There are plenty of stores and places that have jobs available now, why wait for Wal-Mart? I want a man who can take care of himself, Chris.

And Chris, why are you talking about some girl that you "should have been making out with" when you're writing to ME? That doesn't really make me feel too special. Are you still hung up on some other girl? Wasn't this YEARS ago? I really wish you would make up your mind, sweetie. I'm trying to make this work with you, but honestly you're making me worry about this racism and other stuff. Please quell my fears, Chris, because I really like you and want this to work.

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

====Chris lies furiously, hates the homos, fails at getting a job====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 13, 2010 - 11:17pm 
And I am sorry about that statement on [[Megan]]. That was years ago, and I have move on from her. I did not mean to sound hung up. Sometimes when I am recollecting on a hard time in my life, I am likely to feel again the emotions I felt back then, but those temporary relived emotions do not last long, and they mostly are not coherent with today. In this case, it was Definitely not coherent.

As for that "Jew" shout, I was feeling frustrated that I was not getting through with that man, and on the way out, I just shouted the first word that I had linked to him on my mind. It was a bad impulse, that is all. I assure you, [[Chris and race#Not a racist?|I am not a racist]] or anything like that.

The only hang-up I have, which is not a major one these days, is that I don't get along well with other [[JERKS|MEN]] in general. All of my life, I have been getting along better with women. That hang-up is why I don't have many dude-pals. Most of it comes from my homophobia, and the rest comes from my past detest of men due to them being A) Mostly Mean, Cruel and Vicious, and B) [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|Having taken all of the pretty women]] leaving me with none to choose from in my [[Sweetheart Search]]. I have tried making a few dude-pals in my church congregation, but that mental hang-up, mixed with my autism, prevents me from talking to them more.

Currently, I am getting 800 a month from S.S.I. And I AM working on self-publishing my books with Lulu; I have found on the site in the start of the project creation that it will cost me a bit to get it started. I will get it started. I am also working on resizing the pages to the appropriate page size. I have applied to a number of places in C-Ville; they never call me back for even an interview. I've applied to the [[C-Ville]] Wal-Mart, [[Target]], [[McDonalds]], Burger King, Barnes & Nobel and others. I am also applying to the new Goodwill in Ruckersville for a chance there. It is like I am being forced to wait.

I Really Like you too, Jacklyn. I can't stop thinking of you, and I do not want it to stop. I want you by my side, true love between you and I; I really want this romance to work very much too. You brighten up my life; you are a wind that renews me emotionally; you turn me on soo much, my wind-up key broke off. I want no fears between you and I; I want us to be a match made in heaven; I want you so much, Jackie. I Love You.

Stay Safe. XOXOXOXO

Christian.

P.S.

Just to check, are we going to meet at [[Fashion Square]] or the Downtown Mall Friday at 4?}}

====Jackie further calls out Chris's laziness====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 14, 2010 - 6:24pm 
Well, thank you for clearing that up, sweetie. I want to be the only girl in my guy's life. :)

But Chris, like I said, I have several friends that have published things on Lulu and other places, it's not that hard and it certainly doesn't take much time. You could spend an evening doing it and be done with it. I don't understand why you haven't been able to get this comic published, I mean, you've been writing it for years, and the farthest you've gotten with that is your website. And you quit updating on your site too, even though that's the one thing you've been using to build your comic, so that doesn't show that you have a whole lot of work ethic. Chris, I need to be with someone who has a stable career and goals. It's good that you're applying for jobs, but I really am having a hard time understanding why you don't use your CADD degree in getting a job. I mean, there are a lot of places out there that have use for graphic designers and that sort of thing.

XOXO,

Jackie}}

====Chris is meeting her====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 14, 2010 - 10:15pm 
Don't worry, Sweetie, I promise you that I will have the First Book published before this month is over, and I am capable of maintaining a strong work ethnic.

What is important right now is you and me. We are in sweet agreement with each other. I want to be your one and only too. I will meet you at Fashion Square by the Starbucks Kiosk Friday at 4:00; I will show you a pleasant and good time. :)

I will see you then; please don't be late.

XOXOXOXO, 
Stay Safe, 
Christian.}}

====Jackie asks for a video====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 15, 2010 - 7:39pm 
Hey, Chris!

We're still on for Friday, can't wait to see you!

Yeah, you say you have a strong work ethic, but... you haven't done much. Chris, 2 or 3 hours of day of drawing is not enough, Chris. Most people have to work 8 or more hours a day, but you're getting free money from the government to draw comics. That's pretty good deal, Chris. You should be working to earn that. Why exactly do you get that social security pay anyway?

But I don't want to rail on that... There's something else I want you to do for me. Remember when you told me about how confident you were in your [[sex]]ual abilities? Well, I'm curious how you would treat a lady, you know... orally. What sort of techniques would you use? Would you get right down in me? Show me, I need to see. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I was wondering if you could make a video showing me a little preview. I have a date with the bubble bath tonight and I'd really love to settle down and enjoy a movie trailer of our first time together.

I hope I have your video before bedtime tonight,

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Chris fails at sexytalk====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 16, 2010 - 8:32am 
Ooh, I'm sorry I didn't get the request sooner; I was busy, and I hit the hay around midnight. But orally, I would come right down on you. I would lick your pussy like it was an ice cream cone; I would give you some finger-play too. With that, I'll let it be a pleasant surprise that we can place at the apex of our date tonight. ;)

I'll see you at the mall's Starbucks Kiosk this afternoon. The sweet things come to patient ladies.

Call me on my cell if you have any concerns (434)-760-0848

Love You, Jackie. 
Christian.}}

====Chris stood Jackie up====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 16, 2010 - 6:02pm 
Chris, where were you? I waited for an hour but you never showed up!

And, you know, just because I'm a little kinky in our emails doesn't mean that we were going to sleep together on our first date. What kind of girl do you think I am?

Where were you? I was all alone...

Jackie}}

====Chris denies it====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 16, 2010 - 6:20pm 
I should be asking you where you were; I arrived at Fashion Square at 3:30 PM, parked in one of the two Belk parking lots, and waited at a table at the Starbucks Kiosk in the Middle of the Mall. I waited an hour for you. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding in communication. I gave you my cell phone number; I was also hoping you'd call me to at least let me know where you were.

I think of you as a very sweet, honest and playful woman.

Please call me on my cell, so we can better establish communication and reset the date. I am sorry you felt lonely; I felt lonely too.

My heart still yearns for you, Sweetie.
XOXOXOXO
Christian}}

====Whine, whine, whine, date is rescheduled====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 17, 2010 - 4:25am 
I was praying that I'd hear back from you last night; I feel a bit crestfallen from not getting a call from you. I gave you my cell phone number three times now (434-760-0848). I still would like that date with you; perhaps this afternoon we can have another swing at bat on this.

Let's make sure we're clear this time: Today, the 17th; Fashion Square Shopping Center; at the Starbucks Kiosk in the middle at a table in front of the kiosk; 4:00 PM.

If I do not hear back from you on my phone before 2:00 PM, we will reschedule the date for another week.

I'll TTYL. 
XOXOXO 
Christian.}}

====Jackie continues to rail on Chris====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 17, 2010 - 8:00pm 
Hey, Chris.

Sorry, I haven't been able to call you. I have a pay-as-you-go phone and can only use it for emergencies (my parents would kill me if I used it). I have some family stuff to do today as well as homework, I wouldn't have been able to meet today anyway. Don't worry, we can set it up for next weekend or something. But before I see you, I'd love to see that video I requested... tonight, if you get this soon enough. :)

Although I'll admit, I was disappointed when you didn't make it for me. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but Chris, you don't really seem to work on your comic, or anything else, either... I'm starting to see a scary pattern here. I need you to show me some evidence that you actually WANT me, Chris. Because so far you don't seem to want much of anything. I want a man with ambition, Chris. You know just where to start showing me :')

Waiting to hear from you,

~ ~ Jackie}}

====Chris won't make the video, points Jackie to the CWCki. The beginning of the end====

{{quotebox|Chris
April 18, 2010 - 2:32am
I am most capable of coming to you. So I'm thinking you can fill me in on where in [censored] I can find you: the address there, and I'll come to you this week. Or I will also accept the address of your C-Ville home, and I'll come to you there next weekend.

Also, as much as I'd like to make a sexy video for your viewing pleasure, I can't, because it would put YOUR Safety from my Trolls at risk. I have made similar videos in the past for a few of my ex-online-girlfriends. I had uploaded them onto a Mega Upload site, thinking it would be safe, and only She would see them. Alas, I was WRONG. My trolls Found them; my PC has been bugged sometime in the past, so it is likely my PC's online-linked actions, such as uploading, are being watched. I care about you too much to risk your safety.

With that, I can refer you to ONE Troll Site, dedicated to me, where tose mistakes were recorded, and sme to all of those vids may be displayed. I still regret embarassing myself like I did, originally for One; fated to Most... Google "[[CWCki]]", and find the past girlfriends. I warn you, the language is obscene, and they warp the truth and add exaggerated lies, yet there lies within some truth I would confide admittance and clearification to you, Sweetest Jackie.

I do not want to lose you, and I really and Truly Want and Love You, Jacklyn [censored].

Love, 
Christian.}}

====Jackie learns the truth====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 18, 2010 - 5:48pm
Hey, chris.

Besides, my weekdays are extremely hectic, I just wouldn't have the time to see you during the week.

So, I am reading up about these past girlfriends of yours on that cwcki site. What exactly is it that you wanted me to see? Because I'm reading a lot of things I don't like. Like, you had this Australian girlfriend named "[[PandaHalo]]", the site says that she was [[rape]]d by someone, and you promised that you would always love her regardless, but like two days later you heard there were fires in Australia, and you just assumed this girl was dead? And you didn't even check to see if she was or not, you just jumped immediately to [[Julie|some other girl]]. What would happen if I got hurt? Would you just jump to the next girl you saw, without caring about me at all? And then there was another girl named [[Ivy]], who you cheated on??

And that Panda girl, the article says something else that worries me: it says that she promised to come to you if you were willing to prove that you could make your comic a success, but you refused to do it, and just let her go. Are these all lies like you say, Chris? Because I'VE been trying to get you to show me that you actually WORK on something or have some kind of drive, but you don't show me anything, either. So which part of that website is lies and which is true? How am I to know?

Chris, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I ask you to send me a video - not upload one to youtube, just send it to me - and you won't do it. I ask you to prove to me that you actually spend your day working on something, and you won't do it. I like talking to you, Chris, and I would still like to meet you, but right now I'm starting to doubt the attraction. Maybe we should start off as friends and see where it goes. What do you think about that?

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Chris lies out his arse====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 18, 2010 - 6:20pm

Firstly, what you're describing from what you've read from the CWCki are among the false portions; their lies. PandaHalo was [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]], the raped woman I have told you about earlier. After learning of the bushfires, I had assumed the worst. I tried contacting her by e-mail, but she had not responded in weeks. I did not "immediately jump to another woman"; I had wept and cried over the loss of Sarah for weeks before I could move forward. I would be totally depressed if you died, Jackie, I WOULD CRY AND CRY AND CRY, and it would take me loong over a month to feel I could move on with my life again.

As for Ivy, I did not cheat on her. She and I did have our own romance for a while, but later on, my father and I met with a Charlottesville Detective. He found NO records on Ivy OR her family, and her father was supposedly a Police Officer. Then I started suspecting she was a troll, and I stopped communication for like three months. Then she calls me back to try to restart the relationship; I hesitated and felt unsure. I later learned she committed suicide by hanging herself. I cried for her too. I never have cheated on Ivy; that is a lie they made up.

I am starting work on clarifying and sorting out the truths and lies from those pages and posting the True stories in my own honest words.

I can not send you a video for A) the troll risk, and B) There is a Size Limit on my E-Mail account, and a video would be way too big. And I assure you, I am very ambitious and serious about our relationship. I do not want there to be ANY Doubts between us. Please believe me. I get a ton of mental stress worrying about your safety, trying to keep our relationship strong, and making sure I don't lose you. For you, I am most capable of coping with these and a lot more. I Love You, Jacklyn, and I do not want to lose you.

XOXOXOXO 
Christian.}}

====Jackie knows Chris cheated====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 18, 2010 - 7:37pm 
Chris, they're not lies. You're lying to me right now! Why do you not think I'd discover the truth? You DID cheat on Ivy. Don't you ever try and lie to me about anything on that site. I know you're lying about the Ivy thing because I'm sitting here watching a video where you apologize for it. Who was Vanessa? The cwcki says you had cyber-sex with her or something while you were professing your "love" for Ivy. There are tons of videos of yours on that site. Don't you dare lie to me about anything on that site. A lot of things they say come right from stuff you yourself say and do in videos YOU make. They can't fake that. And they say that you went to a girl named Julie after only a day or something after Panda died, all around [[January 2009]]. I mean, you say how much you love Panda in a video in late January and you start promising your heart to Julie in the beginning of February, that's hardly "loong over a month". Did you really care about any of these girls at all?

And another thing, I asked you to give me a reason why you are on social security (a strong 28-year-old man in the prime of his life should be able to work) and you just avoid the question. You say that it's hard for you to find a job, even when you apply lots of places - and that's understandable, it's difficult for a lot of people to get jobs these days. But come on, you live at home with your parents. Being unemployed doesn't explain being on welfare. How long have you been on welfare? Why does a strong, smart, capable man need welfare?

As for the video, those are all excuses. You could upload a video to a secure site like mediafire and just send me the link, no one would know about it. You keep bugging me to call you but when I ask you to do something you just make excuses. Don't make excuses to me, Chris. If you actually want this to work, then PROVE it. Stop telling me why you can't do things and DO something.

Jackie}}

====Chris "forgot" he cheated on Ivy====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 19, 2010 - 10:37pm 
I apologize for bringing up excuses, and I was wrong about that cheating thing with Ivy; I had forgotten that portion. I was IMing
with a "[[Vanessa Hudgens]]" for a new while (I had talked with "her" before). "She" was trying to rile me up with heavy flirting and sexual lines. I held my ground for a long time, for Ivy's sake. I caved in one time. And I later made that video admitting that wrong and apologizing to Ivy for it.

Another sad fact, "Vanessa" turned out to be really [[Joshua Martinez]], an ex-friend of mine. I am still angry at him for deceiving me like that pretending to be the famous singer/actress.

It was a shot in my own foot leading you to the CWCki; I really do not want there to be any doubt or such between you and me. I felt I had to show you what had happened to me before when I shared such sexual vids upon request from each of my exes. I had not heard of Mediafire, so I have just recorded a video; half with the apology I just described, and half of a brief description on how I would pleasure you orally. ;)

<nowiki>http://www.mediafire.com/?yz1jk3omwj5</nowiki> 
<nowiki>http://www.mediafire.com/file/yz1jk3omwj5/</nowiki> [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]

Please let me know when you have successfully downloaded the file to your computer, then I will remove it from the Mediafire server for safety reasons. I pray that I do not hear of this video being on any Troll Site.

And with all this, I would very much like to start over on our lovey emotions and all. I Love You, Jacklyn [censored]. :-*

XOXOXOXO 
Stay Safe, 
Christian.}}

====Chris called Jackie Ivy, Jackie responds====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 20, 2010 - 2:30 pm 
Wow, Chris, I don't really know what to say.

So, your explanation for why you cheated on Ivy was because another girl was hitting on you? You loved Ivy, but another girl came onto you, and that's all it took? What if we're together and another girl comes onto you one day? Are you just going to cheat on me, too? You say you "resisted as long as you could", but you didn't resist at all, really. If you had resisted you could have told her to leave you alone or blocked her or something. Why was the temptation so great, anyway? Every time I have had a boyfriend, I've been hit on by cute guys. But I never had the urge to cheat on my boyfriend, because our relationship was way more important than just fucking some random hot guy. Did you not care about your relationship with her, or what?

And Chris, in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], you call ME Ivy. Right about three and a half minutes in, you say "seriously, IVY, I really do want you." What the fuck is that? Why the fuck did you call me Ivy?

And don't bother telling me that it's because you were thinking about Ivy since the subject came up, and you just got the names confused. Because while that may be true, all it shows is that you don't really see much difference between me and Ivy. You know, I'm glad that I haven't met you in person yet, that we haven't gotten that close yet. Because if we were in an actual relationship then what you did would be FUCKING DEVASTATING to me. So please stop telling me that you "love" me, because obviously you don't. Love takes time to build, Chris. Maybe you would know that if you didn't just tell me you love me because you think it's what I want to hear. You confused me with your ex-fucking-girlfriend, for christ's sake. Are girls just all the same to you, or something?

I'm glad that you made a video for me, finally. But maybe in your next one you can think of a way to explain to me why I should believe you even care about me at all. Or, if you don't really care about me, you can just admit it, but maybe at least get my name right.

Oh, and you still haven't answered my question about why a strong-willed, able-bodied man in his late 20's lives with his parents and collects free money from the government. You're getting really good at dodging that one, makes me think you don't have a good explanation. There's this article on the cwcki: [[Chris and money]]. It says a lot of bad things about your idea of income. But if you want to prove you care about me, I'd like you to give me an answer, finally.

Jackie}}

====Chris attempts to justify himself====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 20, 2010 - 2:05am 
To answer your questions, I am [[Don't Mess With Me|more stable]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|now a]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|days]], and I assure you that I would not fall for such flirtatious methods as that one time. I did mean to say Jackie in that [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]], and I apologize for the error. And for the question of why or how I can still live in the lifestyle I am living, I can't really say. The only thing that I feel is likely holding me back is, among other things, the "Ritualistic" trait of [[Autism]]. It just has set me off and on with routines, and with that, my house I am living in, with my seinor citizen parents, is like the home base of my routines. It is a MAJOR adjustment for me to make such heavy changes cold-turkey. That's just the way I am at this point in my life.

I answer your questions with care, and I also say the following out of care and due respect...

Obviously this relationship is not working out, and it is MY fault that it has been going downhill. I should not have mentioned anything about the CWCki, or my [[internet]] business. Referring to the CWCki, a Troll Site, to back up my point of how they wrongfully found and downloaded videos from sites like MegaUpload. BTW, I checked, 25 other people downloaded the video I sent to you; the file is deleted now, but now I fear the trolls now have another piece of wood for their fire.

With all that, I feel it's probably for the best you and I went back to our separate ways. I want you to know that I deeply appreciated your genuine kindness, compassion and sweetness; it made me feel better. And you are a very beautiful woman; I guess I wasn't good enough for you. Also, just to advise you, facial jewelry (from piercings) are okay, but I feel you would look better without them.

Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future, but until then, I bid you a blessing for good health and safety.

Peace, 
Christian W. Chandler.}}

====Jackie fires a final salvo====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 21, 2010 - 9:59 am

Hi, Chris.

Well, as for your [[Monthly tugboat|welfare money]], that (poorly) explains why you're still in it, I guess, but it still doesn't explain why you needed it in the first place. Not that it matters now, because apparently you value continuing to be someone who relies on welfare and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|who does nothing all day]] more than you value changing yourself to be the kind of man I would want. You won't put out any effort for me at all. I guess that shows how much you "love" me, eh? You throw around the word "love" like it's just a meaningless phrase. Which apparently, it is to you, because none of the stuff that usually comes with real love is evident here. For future reference, no girl is going to want to be with you if you are so averse to work and effort. Although from what I read on the cwcki, apparently I'm not the first girl to tell you that, so I don't expect you to listen this time, either.

And another thing. Do you pay attention at all to anything I say? I'm not mad because I saw the cwcki. I'm mad because you don't work, you don't change yourself, and because you tell me you "love" me all the while you won't show any effort when I ask you to, you repeatedly dodge my questions about your life because you know I won't like the honest answers, and YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME. That's all YOU, Chris. Don't blame that cwcki site for me not liking you. Don't blame others for your problems. Because I'm pretty sure that even if you had never shown it to me and I had no idea about your internet life, I still would have realized what a snaky little shyster you are being. So don't just assume that that dumb website caused the problem here, because it really annoys me that you are going to walk away from this thinking I'm so stupid that I would have fallen in love with you if not for the "lies" that some website told me. I'm capable of discerning fact from fiction, Chris. I can judge the truth for myself.

I was looking forward to a relationship with you, but you showed that you apparently aren't ready. Maybe if you showed me some effort I'd feel differently. maybe you shouldn't just give up on a girl you "love" the first time she gets mad at you. So you know what, Chris? Let me make this clear to you: I am still open-minded here. If you show me that you can behave like a man, then maybe we can have something.

Jackie

P.S. Don't worry so much about the other people that downloaded the video. It was just some of my girlfriends, I had to show them the guy who claims to love me and can't even remember my name. We have better things to do than put some stupid video up on the internet.}}

====Chris ends it all====

{{quotebox|Chris 
April 21, 2010 - 8:38 pm 
I really did like you, Jackie, and I would have felt happy to awake next to you any day. But I wasn't in Love with you; I realize that, and I admit it.

Peace.}}

====It's not over yet!!====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 22, 2010 - 10:11 pm 
Wow, congratulations, you can tell the truth for once. How about you admit that you just wanted sex, and nothing else?

And actually, while you're at it, how about you admit that you don't really even want sex, because I was initially kind of into you, but when I ask you to do a little work to prove you actually care about something, instead you would rather just sit and play [[video games]] while collecting government money. And lie to me, because you wanted to fuck me without any effort. So video games are more important than a girl you love.

Oh, by the way, I changed my mind and uploaded your video to the cwcki. I did it to spread the word about you to other women to warn them, but then I realized that even if a girl is all over you, you still will ignore her so you can play video games. You probably don't even like girls.

Jackie}}

====Misrepresentation?!====
{{quotebox|Chris 
April 22, 2010 - 10:30 pm 
Who the F*** Are You to criticize me and even slap an "Asexual" Label on me so quickly? I do not condone such misrepresentation. Good Day.}}

====Jackie is disgusted by Chris, because he's disgusting====
{{quoteboxred|Jackie 
April 22, 2010 - 11:15 pm 
You do not condone it? What are you going to do to stop me, play some more video games? That'll sure show me. You like video games better than girls. I bet if I had been a playstation asking you to work on your comic, you'd be all over it.

Jackie}}

====YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, WOMAN.====
{{quotebox|Chris 
April 23, 2010 - 2:35 pm 
You Do NOT KNOW ME, WOMAN. I Love Women OVER Video Games; I can not help my Social Problems from my Autism, or that I am one who misinterprets Social Cues, am sometimes unable to predict or understand the outcoming emotions or reactions to my actions. I can't help my own mental problems that sometimes misguide me.

<nowiki>*Ugh*</nowiki> Send your complaints to your "[[mailbag|Letters to the Editor]]" section.}}

==See also==
*[[Jackie E-mails]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
*[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
*[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie E-mails]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails|Jackie E-mails 1]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 3]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 02]]

Clover and Snoopy

2012-08-04T01:00:09Z

Grandma Nazi:

[[Image:Mikmmp.jpg|thumb|"Snoopy has a hat on his tush, and Clover is looking at the camera."]]
'''Clover and Snoopy''' are [[Chris]]'s new dogs. Like [[Patti]], they are beagles. Their adoption [[14_Branchland_Court|condemned them to live in filth]] with Chris. arguably a fate worse than being put down.
[[Category:Pets]]

My Little Pony

2012-08-04T00:54:47Z

Grandma Nazi: Someone's trying to pull a No True Scotsman and claim Chris isn't a "real" brony.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the "[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]" cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on the 31st March, 2012, he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was 'Gabby Gums'.

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the MLP:FiM character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes] fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being killed, which is featured in both videos, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the [[Lie|"Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block]], before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general.
{{-}}

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and Art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Jackie E-mails 23

2012-08-03T09:33:51Z

Grandma Nazi: I think a link to Family Guy is better than a link to Wikipedia on Peter Griffin. Feel free to revert this if you disagree.

This page lists emails exchanged by [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] from 22 to 26 [[November 2010]]. Chris has not responded to her emails since.

In response to his apathy, Jackie sends Chris a tirade of angry emails. She explains that regular women don't want to have "friends with benefits", because those kind of relationships are not really about the friendship at all and too much about the benefits. She also says Chris is ill-equipped for a purely sex-based relationship, due to his unattractiveness, before pointing out how little Rocky has done for him.

Chris retaliates with surprising claims that his [[duck]] grew/is no longer bent and that he's no longer fat. In spite of Jackie's insightful critique, Chris fails to respond to the bulk of it, instead taking a chunk of it completely out of context to compare himself to distressed women who want shallow relationships. In response, Jackie lists the reasons why he is so widely disliked, immediately blowing some of Chris's claims out of water, and sardonically wishes Chris a happy Thanksgiving.

Chris ignores Jackie's words of wisdom on the grounds that she hurt his feelings and accuses the world of being "[[autistic]]-like" and "unsympathetic", which Jackie again points out is just his way of preserving his ego and ensuring he never has to change. Chris once again condemns social networking and the [[Internet]], to which Jackie reacts with suspicion - Chris claims to reject her advice for the sole reason that she gave it over the Internet, ignoring the fact that [[Barb|nobody's]] [[Rocky|helping]] him offline.

Chris resigns by point-blank telling Jackie that all she has said previously is just meaningless hate. Jackie offers a final summary that doesn't paint a too good picture.

{{Email|November 22, 2010 - 5:13pm

Hey Chris, I haven't heard back from you recently. I thought maybe you were confused about something I said. Let me reiterate some of my points for you so that you can better understand (reread this several times if you need to, I had a lot of ground to cover and it got pretty long by the time I was done writing it):

A self-respecting girl would not want a friends-with-benefits arrangement with a guy. No girl who knows her own value has any reason to want that sort of repugnant relationship. A self-respecting girl wants a real relationship with a guy. But that alone isn't what made your words to me insulting. What made what you said to me insulting was that we had spent months trying to build the basis of a relationship, but you just stomped all over it the whole time and acted like you didn't even want to be part of it. But you lied to me for months and told me you did want to be part of it. You eventually owned up and admitted your desire to be with me was a lie, but then you thought I would have some compelling reason to actually want to sleep with you after all that you had done to me. You basically told me "hey [[Jackie]], I don't really feel like putting out the effort to make you happy anymore, but I still want you to come give me free [[sex]]." Not a good way to make a girl feel special, Chris.

All that notwithstanding, I'm not holding a grudge against you. I want to be your friend, so I'm going to be helpful and lay out the facts for you so you know what you're working with. there are some girls who are perfectly willing to have a casual sex-based relationship with no strings attached. However, these girls always possess the same two qualities:

1) They usually have some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering. But you probably wouldn't care about any of that, since all you want to do is fuck them and then ignore them.

2) The thing that I bet you WILL care about is that those women only care about the shallowest aspects of men. By that I mean that they want guys who are [[Liquid Chris|good-looking]], [[Clyde Cash|muscular]], [[Surfshack Tito|manly]], and have big [[pickle|dicks]]. You do not fit any of those criteria, Chris. You are significantly [[Obesity|overweight]] and flabby, you have virtually no muscle, your skin is pasty and your forehead is covered in acne scarring that is the most readily visible thing about you even in a low-light, low-resolution picture or video. Your [[hair]] is thinning and looks stringy and greasy all the time because you don't take care of it, your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs to maintain it, and you probably don't wash it all that much. [[ECV 00002|When you dressed up as]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your distended gut was hanging so low it completely covered your belt buckle and much of the front of your pants, it reminded me of when [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]] is naked and they don't have to blur his genitals because his giant gut covers them completely. All of those are things that you could take care of if you actually tried, but you just stuff yourself with fast food, soft drinks, and [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man dinners]] all day and night and make no effort to exercise or keep in shape, which is why you can't do a single pull-up and your body is falling apart before you've even turned 30.

Also, your [[Duck|penis]] is rather small and bent at an awkward angle, girls who want an FWB arrangement just want the biggest, straightest dicks they can find. And trust me, they don't have trouble finding them. For every one of a guy like you, there are five or ten guys who actually take care of themselves physically that these girls can choose from instead. Oh, the other thing is that those girls will often forgive a less-than-attractive physique if the guy in question has a lot of money to spend on them. But having never tried to pursue an actual career (or earn [[money]] with your comics, which you have claimed many times you always wanted to do) means you have no money, either. So basically, you have nothing that an FWB-type of girl would want.

Now, if you want a girl who would look past all of the superficial stuff, you'd need to find a girl who wanted an honest relationship - a girl like me ;) Now, as I'm sure is obvious, I looked past your physical appearance, lack of money, and so on because I wanted to see what your personality is like. A lot of good girls will go for a guy who has a great personality, because that's probably the most important quality a person can possess. Now, consider that I gave you a lot of chances to show me what kind of personality you have.

In all our time communicating with each other, you showed that you are incredibly petty and vindictive. You showed that you care nothing for other peoples' property or livelihood, as evidenced by the ridiculous grudge you still possess against [[Michael Snyder]]. You went into [[The GAMe PLACe|the store]] he was in charge of running, you hogged his TV to play your own games, even though he never owed you that, and then when he tried to assert his dominance over the business HE runs, you scrawled vile graffiti slandering him in his own store, and you refuse to play by the rules and force him to ban you. And YEARS go by and you STILL hold this childish grudge to the point of repeatedly trespassing on the store's property and taking pictures of his children in a threatening manner. You are hateful and judgmental toward entire groups of people you know nothing about. You hate [[Homos|gays]] for absolutely no reason, you are afraid of [[Niggos|black people]], you think calling someone a "[[jew]]" is an insult, and yet you still get super self-righteous and act all offended whenever you think someone is disrespecting you because they don't like your autism. You are a hypocrite of immense proportions, always holding other people to standards of behavior that you believe you yourself have no obligation to follow. You criticize other people for social networking, saying "the internet is turning them autistic", even though you sit at home playing your [[Playstation 3]] ALL DAY LONG. [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|You throw words from the Bible]] at people when they do something that offends you even though you [[lie]], cheat, steal, want premarital sex, [[Death threats|threaten bodily harm/murder]] on others, and a whole host of other activities that God doesn't like. And whenever you are cornered and can't explain away your rampant egotism and hypocrisy, you will just claim that "the trolls" are responsible for all your problems, great and small, and act as though your bad internet experience excuses you from having to take responsibility for anything.

And what's more, you expect others to do everything for you and offer nothing in return. You treat Samantha like she's your personal secretary and like she should do all the hard work to make your life better, and for a while now you've treated me the same way. Whenever either of us offer you an idea of how to deal with some problem of yours, you come up with some rationalization why you are too lazy to do it and beg us to do it for you instead. You'll complain about the same problems over and over but you refuse to consider any solution that is offered to you. You have talked down to me, insulted me, lied to me repeatedly (I know you have lied to Samantha countless times), refused to do something I asked you to do many, many times, yet you still expect me to be some perfect girlfriend who makes you happy all the time. You complained about our IM conversations being stressful and said they "could be construed as arguments", just because I had a different opinion than you on things and wanted you to back up your belief instead of just believing things for no reason. You place your prized video games above all other concerns in your life, you drop the majority of what little money you have every month on video games and then whine about how you don't have the money you would need to accomplish actual goals. You complain about other people being addicted You make excuses that "once we're together, then you will improve yourself", suggesting that you expect me to be a babysitter and give your life direction because you are too lazy to give it direction yourself. If you had been a good person, things might have turned out different between us. But you proved your inside was even uglier than your outside.

The most succinct way to put why you are not currently ready to be with a girl is that you want to be taken seriously as an adult man even though you are a person who sits in [[Chris's room|your room]] playing video games all day, [[Monthly tugboat|leeching money off the government]] that could be going to people who are homeless and starving and at the same time convincing yourself that God WANTS you to have free money, has no goals, no aspirations, and no direction, who avoids any and all work like the plague, whines about [[Bob|his father]] telling him to do chores to real adults who have to work 60 hours a week and take care of themselves, all the while growing fatter, balder, greasier, and closer to death off your diet of fast food and Hungry Mans and a total lack of exercise or activity. You need to change all of these things about yourself before a relationship (fwb or not) with any girl is practical.

Well, that was pretty long, I admit, but it's ground that needed to be covered. I feel kind of better now that we're just going to be friends instead of pursuing a relationship - I feel like I can be brutally honest about things that I always felt strongly about, but had to kind of sugercoat because our relationship was something different. Friends can sometimes be honest in ways that romantic partners have difficulty with. (You might be wondering, after I just got done explaining why you are such a bad friend, why I would want to be your friend - and that's a valid point. Well, I want to be your friend because I think it is possible for you to change, become good, and get the things you want, and it's not hurting me to help you to try.)

One more thing: I have to ask you, again, what Rocky has really done for you. Has Rocky helped you get a girlfriend and/or sex partner? No, you're still alone and a [[virgin]]. Has she helped you get healthy or develop a means of interacting with adults? No, you still live like a slob and play with toys all day. You are severely depressed because you don't have a social life, but she hasn't helped you with that. All she tells you is that nothing is your fault and that your problems will be solved when the trolls are all gone. Well, when the trolls are all punished, you'll still be a lonely, depressed virgin with no real social life, no job, no hobbies, and nothing significant in his life. Why don't you ask Rocky to help you with your actual personal problems, instead of just blaming the trolls for everything? I'M trying to help you by pointing out things you need to change about yourself. Doesn't Rocky? Or does she just tell you that it's okay to sit on your ass playing video games and doing nothing with your life? I've got news for you, if that's what she's telling you, it's because she believes you're too retarded and stupid to accomplish anything and she's just humoring you.

Anyway, I know this probably sounds all pretty brutal and shocking to you. That's why I want you to save this email and reread it, over and over. Read it again each day, so the shock can fade but my message can sink in. Because you really need this message to sink in, Chris. You need to do something different with your life. If you don't, then the life you have now is all you'll ever have.

Write me back,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 23, 2010 - 6:34pm

Well, I have not replied lately, because I have been emotionally suffering and lost iin thoughts of my own with my own confusions and lost paths.

Second, in response to your last message, when you described "such a woman", you essentially spelled out how I've been eeling for a long time. I have felt like I was one of them who have "some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering." Congratulations, you put my situation in life in better words than I could have ever.

And I do not appreciate the hurtful insults I have read after hat directed towards me. [[Duck|My dick]] is bigger than previously photographed, and it is no longer bent. And I am not overweight. Two wrongs do not make a right, so at this point, I'll leave you to think about how much more hurt you've made me.}}

{{Email|November 23, 2010 - 7:33pm
Hi Chris.

I have been thinking about the stuff I said to you, and will continue to do so. But I do not feel guilty in the least about it. Everything I told you was the complete and utter truth. And as I explicitly told you, I set out with only that purpose - to make you face the truth. I didn't set out to hurt you. I certainly did not set out to wrong you just because you wronged me out of believing that "two wrongs make a right". And what you call being "hurt", I call being knocked off your high horse and forced to accept some humility, which is something you desperately needed. You have believed for far too long that you deserve to have all your desires handed to you on a silver platter and that you shouldn't have to work to earn any of it. I set out to end that. So if you're expecting me to feel guilty or remorseful over trying to set you right, you're in for a yet another rude awakening, buddy-boy.

You would have a chance at a relationship if you just took care of yourself. You need to start eating healthy, take care of your appearance, build some muscle, and lose a lot of weight. You also need to stop treating girls like they are just living [[Kimmi|sex toys]] who exist to validate your manliness. You can't have a relationship the way you are now because you treat everyone around you as tools for your own selfish advancement and you never give a shit about what other people want. And yes, you are overweight. YOU ARE [[Obesity|OVERWEIGHT]]. at 5'10" and 216 lbs, your Body Mass Index is about 31, which classifies you as obese. And even that is probably a pretty low estimate - you weight moderately less than a person as fat as you would normally weigh, because muscle is denser than fat, and you have NO muscle. Look at yourself in the picture I included, really look at it. A nearly 29-year-old man should not have that giant gut hanging over his pants.

Do you know why most people don't like you? Do you know why women don't approach you, and why people don't praise you, and why people on the internet mock you? It's because you are a horrible, selfish, [[ego]]tistical person. You have NO respect and NO consideration for other people. THAT is why you are alone and unloved. People will give you no compassion because you believe you don't have to show any to other people. It's not because people are "jealous" of you - they know your life sucks, they wouldn't want to be in your shoes. It's not because they're playing "[[kick the autistic]]". No one GIVES A SHIT that you are [[autistic]], they NEVER DID. People don't like you because you use your autism as a fucking excuse to refuse to do anything and demand that other people fix your problems for you. People don't like you because you want them to treat you like a fucking king at the same time as you treat them like shit. People don't like you because you act as if you are doing everything right and all your problems are someone ELSE'S fault when the truth is that your problems are all YOUR fault.

As I said, not a single thing in my last email was an insult. Not one bit. It was all true. IT IS ALL TRUE. Swallow your fucking pride and accept that I'm not insulting you just because I'm refusing to kiss your ass and make you face the uncomfortable truth about yourself. You know exactly what you have to do to fix your life, Chris. I know you do because [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha]] and I (and other people) have told you COUNTLESS TIMES what you need to do to improve your situation. No one else will do it for you. If you don't fix it, no one else ever will.

The way I see it, you have two choices:
1) Put your pride aside, admit you are not special and that you have to follow the same life rules as everyone else, and do the same exact hard work that everyone else needs to do to be happy.
2) Sit on your ass, continue whining that people like me who try to help you are "hurting your feelings", continue to believe that you are a special little snowflake who has endured far worse hardship than anyone else, and spend the rest of your life as a lonely virgin.

I can kind of see now why you love going to Rocky for counseling, and I also understand better what exactly Rocky does to "counsel" you. The answer to both is that she blows smoke up your ass, tells you that none of your problems are your fault, and that you don't have to take responsibility for yourself. And you love that, because you want everyone around you to just kiss your ass. Well, the flip side of that is that Rocky thinks your a retard who will never improve or have sex. I'M the one who believes you stand a chance, Chris. I'M the one who is telling you the truth while she lies to you because she thinks you're hopeless. But by all means, if you'd rather never get sex or love or happiness just so that you can continue to pretend that someone else is obligated to fix your life for you, then don't listen to me. Go ahead and close your mind to the truth when someone who actually WANTS to see you be HAPPY tries to tell it to you like it is. I hope you respond to this and keep an open mind, but I can't make you, and if you want to keep living in your own self-imposed hell I won't lose sleep over it.

Jackie}}
{{Email|November 25, 2010 - 4:58pm
Hey Chris! Just wanted to wish you happy turkey day. Are you and your family doing anything special today?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 4:25pm
Thanks for the Thanksgiving Greeting. It was pleasant.

I am not an egotisital, selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are. Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?

I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other.

I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me.

Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please.

Take Care and Stay Safe,

One Misunderstood, Lonely, Caring Idiot,

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 7:36pm
And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.}}

{{Email|November 26, 2010 - 8:24pm
Hey Chris! I'm glad your Thanksgiving went well. Anyway, I have some responses to each of your points, which I will put after each section of your writing.

''"I am not an egotisital, selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are."''

You are egotistical, because not only do you believe yourself to be an ideal partner for any woman in your present state without requiring change, but you also believe it is plausible and practical to remain in your comfort zone for your entire life, to the point that avoiding any kind of discomfort or displeasure is one of your primary life goals. You are most definitely selfish, as evidenced by your unwillingness to budge even the slightest bit when I asked you to step out of said comfort zone and give me something I wanted. You always tried to twist and warp my requests into something else entirely, then you egotistically told me "it's good enough like that", even though I am the one who would determine that, not you. The truths I told you were things you absolutely needed to hear, because you so strongly believed yourself to be a paragon of manhood and you were in such a strong denial that nothing else COULD get through to you. Throwing that bucket of water in your face was on the same principle on which interventions are conducted. I have been nice to you time and again, but you just refuse to listen when advice is given "nicely". Using harsh words was entirely necessary.

''"Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?"''

I have two responses to this: First of all, sympathy has nothing to do with this. I have spent months sympathizing with you on every subject that bothers you, but it has gotten you nowhere. You still sit alone in your room, depressed and resentful toward the rest of the world. You don't listen when people sympathize with you. I chose my words very carefully because I KNEW they would shock you. I KNEW that shocking you was the only thing that might stand a chance of making you realize that you don't have the luxury of just sitting and waiting for the world to make itself perfect for you.

Secondly, you complain about not receiving sympathy, but when have you ever offered it? When people sympathize with you, all you end up doing is demanding that they fix your problems for you. You don't sympathize at all with people like me or Samantha when we get frustrated at how you routinely ignore our advice and would rather piss your life away playing video games. Friendship seems to be one-sided affair with you; you expect "sympathy" - which I think you misinterpret to mean "[[White knight|coddling]]" - but don't return the favor.

Thirdly, stop saying the internet is "making people autistic". That is grade A BULLSHIT. You bitch all the time about how everyone else has friends and relationships and can socialize, and how you are the only person who has your problems socializing; who then are these supposed people who are turning autistic? As I said, my words were deliberately chosen, I didn't "forget" how to "sympathize" with you just because my words came in an email instead of in person. I would have said the same exact thing to you in person. How about you stop playing the fucking PS Triple for 10 hours a day? Because I don't think you have a right to say others are addicted to the internet when you drop nearly every dollar you have buying stupid games on the internet.

''"I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other."''

Fair enough, it's nice to have friends in real life. So how's that working for you? How many people have you met out in the real world? You can't be talking about ME when you mention socializing in real life - we met online, so talking to me in real life would defeat your silly idea that internet socialization is worthless. Who else do you have? Or are you still expecting people to come up to you and do all the work for you? That's another perfect example of your egotism: You expect others to do all the work of creating a relationship with you, but you can't be bothered to put any effort into it yourself. You just say "I don't know what to do or where to go" as an excuse, despite the fact Samantha has given you many, many detailed ideas of how to start.

''"I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me."''

I hope you're aware that "Bust" means "virgin forever". You've spent the past decade of your adult life putting absolutely no effort into anything, including making friends, so I don't see why you would start now. I've been doing nothing but trying to help you, but if you arrogantly think you can afford to just toss me away because I won't bend over backwards for a guy who never put effort into making me happy, then I guess I can't stop you. Hope your pride keeps you warm at night when you don't have any relationships.

''"Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please."''

Wow, thanks. Glad to see how worthless you consider all of your interactions with me. Is that the sort of "sympathy" you were complaining about not receiving?
As I said, you do nothing in real life, you just expect others to take care of you for your entire life. So I don't see how the internet is such an awful thing by comparison.

''"And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me."''

You've just written a large email telling me that you basically want to forget about me because email is inconvenient and because I don't kiss your ass enough. Once again, sterling display of reciprocity you show there, Chris. Everyone is supposed to be nice and sympathetic to you but you don't care what others think or feel or need.

So anyway, if you want to go your whole life without having to face the truth about yourself, that's fine. Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 23]]

Jackie E-mails 23

2012-08-03T09:28:54Z

Grandma Nazi:

This page lists emails exchanged by [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] from 22 to 26 [[November 2010]]. Chris has not responded to her emails since.

In response to his apathy, Jackie sends Chris a tirade of angry emails. She explains that regular women don't want to have "friends with benefits", because those kind of relationships are not really about the friendship at all and too much about the benefits. She also says Chris is ill-equipped for a purely sex-based relationship, due to his unattractiveness, before pointing out how little Rocky has done for him.

Chris retaliates with surprising claims that his [[duck]] grew/is no longer bent and that he's no longer fat. In spite of Jackie's insightful critique, Chris fails to respond to the bulk of it, instead taking a chunk of it completely out of context to compare himself to distressed women who want shallow relationships. In response, Jackie lists the reasons why he is so widely disliked, immediately blowing some of Chris's claims out of water, and sardonically wishes Chris a happy Thanksgiving.

Chris ignores Jackie's words of wisdom on the grounds that she hurt his feelings and accuses the world of being "[[autistic]]-like" and "unsympathetic", which Jackie again points out is just his way of preserving his ego and ensuring he never has to change. Chris once again condemns social networking and the [[Internet]], to which Jackie reacts with suspicion - Chris claims to reject her advice for the sole reason that she gave it over the Internet, ignoring the fact that [[Barb|nobody's]] [[Rocky|helping]] him offline.

Chris resigns by point-blank telling Jackie that all she has said previously is just meaningless hate. Jackie offers a final summary that doesn't paint a too good picture.

{{Email|November 22, 2010 - 5:13pm

Hey Chris, I haven't heard back from you recently. I thought maybe you were confused about something I said. Let me reiterate some of my points for you so that you can better understand (reread this several times if you need to, I had a lot of ground to cover and it got pretty long by the time I was done writing it):

A self-respecting girl would not want a friends-with-benefits arrangement with a guy. No girl who knows her own value has any reason to want that sort of repugnant relationship. A self-respecting girl wants a real relationship with a guy. But that alone isn't what made your words to me insulting. What made what you said to me insulting was that we had spent months trying to build the basis of a relationship, but you just stomped all over it the whole time and acted like you didn't even want to be part of it. But you lied to me for months and told me you did want to be part of it. You eventually owned up and admitted your desire to be with me was a lie, but then you thought I would have some compelling reason to actually want to sleep with you after all that you had done to me. You basically told me "hey [[Jackie]], I don't really feel like putting out the effort to make you happy anymore, but I still want you to come give me free [[sex]]." Not a good way to make a girl feel special, Chris.

All that notwithstanding, I'm not holding a grudge against you. I want to be your friend, so I'm going to be helpful and lay out the facts for you so you know what you're working with. there are some girls who are perfectly willing to have a casual sex-based relationship with no strings attached. However, these girls always possess the same two qualities:

1) They usually have some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering. But you probably wouldn't care about any of that, since all you want to do is fuck them and then ignore them.

2) The thing that I bet you WILL care about is that those women only care about the shallowest aspects of men. By that I mean that they want guys who are [[Liquid Chris|good-looking]], [[Clyde Cash|muscular]], [[Surfshack Tito|manly]], and have big [[pickle|dicks]]. You do not fit any of those criteria, Chris. You are significantly [[Obesity|overweight]] and flabby, you have virtually no muscle, your skin is pasty and your forehead is covered in acne scarring that is the most readily visible thing about you even in a low-light, low-resolution picture or video. Your [[hair]] is thinning and looks stringy and greasy all the time because you don't take care of it, your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs to maintain it, and you probably don't wash it all that much. [[ECV 00002|When you dressed up as]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your distended gut was hanging so low it completely covered your belt buckle and much of the front of your pants, it reminded me of when [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]] is naked and they don't have to blur his genitals because his giant gut covers them completely. All of those are things that you could take care of if you actually tried, but you just stuff yourself with fast food, soft drinks, and [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man dinners]] all day and night and make no effort to exercise or keep in shape, which is why you can't do a single pull-up and your body is falling apart before you've even turned 30.

Also, your [[Duck|penis]] is rather small and bent at an awkward angle, girls who want an FWB arrangement just want the biggest, straightest dicks they can find. And trust me, they don't have trouble finding them. For every one of a guy like you, there are five or ten guys who actually take care of themselves physically that these girls can choose from instead. Oh, the other thing is that those girls will often forgive a less-than-attractive physique if the guy in question has a lot of money to spend on them. But having never tried to pursue an actual career (or earn [[money]] with your comics, which you have claimed many times you always wanted to do) means you have no money, either. So basically, you have nothing that an FWB-type of girl would want.

Now, if you want a girl who would look past all of the superficial stuff, you'd need to find a girl who wanted an honest relationship - a girl like me ;) Now, as I'm sure is obvious, I looked past your physical appearance, lack of money, and so on because I wanted to see what your personality is like. A lot of good girls will go for a guy who has a great personality, because that's probably the most important quality a person can possess. Now, consider that I gave you a lot of chances to show me what kind of personality you have.

In all our time communicating with each other, you showed that you are incredibly petty and vindictive. You showed that you care nothing for other peoples' property or livelihood, as evidenced by the ridiculous grudge you still possess against [[Michael Snyder]]. You went into [[The GAMe PLACe|the store]] he was in charge of running, you hogged his TV to play your own games, even though he never owed you that, and then when he tried to assert his dominance over the business HE runs, you scrawled vile graffiti slandering him in his own store, and you refuse to play by the rules and force him to ban you. And YEARS go by and you STILL hold this childish grudge to the point of repeatedly trespassing on the store's property and taking pictures of his children in a threatening manner. You are hateful and judgmental toward entire groups of people you know nothing about. You hate [[Homos|gays]] for absolutely no reason, you are afraid of [[Niggos|black people]], you think calling someone a "[[jew]]" is an insult, and yet you still get super self-righteous and act all offended whenever you think someone is disrespecting you because they don't like your autism. You are a hypocrite of immense proportions, always holding other people to standards of behavior that you believe you yourself have no obligation to follow. You criticize other people for social networking, saying "the internet is turning them autistic", even though you sit at home playing your [[Playstation 3]] ALL DAY LONG. [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|You throw words from the Bible]] at people when they do something that offends you even though you [[lie]], cheat, steal, want premarital sex, [[Death threats|threaten bodily harm/murder]] on others, and a whole host of other activities that God doesn't like. And whenever you are cornered and can't explain away your rampant egotism and hypocrisy, you will just claim that "the trolls" are responsible for all your problems, great and small, and act as though your bad internet experience excuses you from having to take responsibility for anything.

And what's more, you expect others to do everything for you and offer nothing in return. You treat Samantha like she's your personal secretary and like she should do all the hard work to make your life better, and for a while now you've treated me the same way. Whenever either of us offer you an idea of how to deal with some problem of yours, you come up with some rationalization why you are too lazy to do it and beg us to do it for you instead. You'll complain about the same problems over and over but you refuse to consider any solution that is offered to you. You have talked down to me, insulted me, lied to me repeatedly (I know you have lied to Samantha countless times), refused to do something I asked you to do many, many times, yet you still expect me to be some perfect girlfriend who makes you happy all the time. You complained about our IM conversations being stressful and said they "could be construed as arguments", just because I had a different opinion than you on things and wanted you to back up your belief instead of just believing things for no reason. You place your prized video games above all other concerns in your life, you drop the majority of what little money you have every month on video games and then whine about how you don't have the money you would need to accomplish actual goals. You complain about other people being addicted You make excuses that "once we're together, then you will improve yourself", suggesting that you expect me to be a babysitter and give your life direction because you are too lazy to give it direction yourself. If you had been a good person, things might have turned out different between us. But you proved your inside was even uglier than your outside.

The most succinct way to put why you are not currently ready to be with a girl is that you want to be taken seriously as an adult man even though you are a person who sits in [[Chris's room|your room]] playing video games all day, [[Monthly tugboat|leeching money off the government]] that could be going to people who are homeless and starving and at the same time convincing yourself that God WANTS you to have free money, has no goals, no aspirations, and no direction, who avoids any and all work like the plague, whines about [[Bob|his father]] telling him to do chores to real adults who have to work 60 hours a week and take care of themselves, all the while growing fatter, balder, greasier, and closer to death off your diet of fast food and Hungry Mans and a total lack of exercise or activity. You need to change all of these things about yourself before a relationship (fwb or not) with any girl is practical.

Well, that was pretty long, I admit, but it's ground that needed to be covered. I feel kind of better now that we're just going to be friends instead of pursuing a relationship - I feel like I can be brutally honest about things that I always felt strongly about, but had to kind of sugercoat because our relationship was something different. Friends can sometimes be honest in ways that romantic partners have difficulty with. (You might be wondering, after I just got done explaining why you are such a bad friend, why I would want to be your friend - and that's a valid point. Well, I want to be your friend because I think it is possible for you to change, become good, and get the things you want, and it's not hurting me to help you to try.)

One more thing: I have to ask you, again, what Rocky has really done for you. Has Rocky helped you get a girlfriend and/or sex partner? No, you're still alone and a [[virgin]]. Has she helped you get healthy or develop a means of interacting with adults? No, you still live like a slob and play with toys all day. You are severely depressed because you don't have a social life, but she hasn't helped you with that. All she tells you is that nothing is your fault and that your problems will be solved when the trolls are all gone. Well, when the trolls are all punished, you'll still be a lonely, depressed virgin with no real social life, no job, no hobbies, and nothing significant in his life. Why don't you ask Rocky to help you with your actual personal problems, instead of just blaming the trolls for everything? I'M trying to help you by pointing out things you need to change about yourself. Doesn't Rocky? Or does she just tell you that it's okay to sit on your ass playing video games and doing nothing with your life? I've got news for you, if that's what she's telling you, it's because she believes you're too retarded and stupid to accomplish anything and she's just humoring you.

Anyway, I know this probably sounds all pretty brutal and shocking to you. That's why I want you to save this email and reread it, over and over. Read it again each day, so the shock can fade but my message can sink in. Because you really need this message to sink in, Chris. You need to do something different with your life. If you don't, then the life you have now is all you'll ever have.

Write me back,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 23, 2010 - 6:34pm

Well, I have not replied lately, because I have been emotionally suffering and lost iin thoughts of my own with my own confusions and lost paths.

Second, in response to your last message, when you described "such a woman", you essentially spelled out how I've been eeling for a long time. I have felt like I was one of them who have "some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering." Congratulations, you put my situation in life in better words than I could have ever.

And I do not appreciate the hurtful insults I have read after hat directed towards me. [[Duck|My dick]] is bigger than previously photographed, and it is no longer bent. And I am not overweight. Two wrongs do not make a right, so at this point, I'll leave you to think about how much more hurt you've made me.}}

{{Email|November 23, 2010 - 7:33pm
Hi Chris.

I have been thinking about the stuff I said to you, and will continue to do so. But I do not feel guilty in the least about it. Everything I told you was the complete and utter truth. And as I explicitly told you, I set out with only that purpose - to make you face the truth. I didn't set out to hurt you. I certainly did not set out to wrong you just because you wronged me out of believing that "two wrongs make a right". And what you call being "hurt", I call being knocked off your high horse and forced to accept some humility, which is something you desperately needed. You have believed for far too long that you deserve to have all your desires handed to you on a silver platter and that you shouldn't have to work to earn any of it. I set out to end that. So if you're expecting me to feel guilty or remorseful over trying to set you right, you're in for a yet another rude awakening, buddy-boy.

You would have a chance at a relationship if you just took care of yourself. You need to start eating healthy, take care of your appearance, build some muscle, and lose a lot of weight. You also need to stop treating girls like they are just living [[Kimmi|sex toys]] who exist to validate your manliness. You can't have a relationship the way you are now because you treat everyone around you as tools for your own selfish advancement and you never give a shit about what other people want. And yes, you are overweight. YOU ARE [[Obesity|OVERWEIGHT]]. at 5'10" and 216 lbs, your Body Mass Index is about 31, which classifies you as obese. And even that is probably a pretty low estimate - you weight moderately less than a person as fat as you would normally weigh, because muscle is denser than fat, and you have NO muscle. Look at yourself in the picture I included, really look at it. A nearly 29-year-old man should not have that giant gut hanging over his pants.

Do you know why most people don't like you? Do you know why women don't approach you, and why people don't praise you, and why people on the internet mock you? It's because you are a horrible, selfish, [[ego]]tistical person. You have NO respect and NO consideration for other people. THAT is why you are alone and unloved. People will give you no compassion because you believe you don't have to show any to other people. It's not because people are "jealous" of you - they know your life sucks, they wouldn't want to be in your shoes. It's not because they're playing "[[kick the autistic]]". No one GIVES A SHIT that you are [[autistic]], they NEVER DID. People don't like you because you use your autism as a fucking excuse to refuse to do anything and demand that other people fix your problems for you. People don't like you because you want them to treat you like a fucking king at the same time as you treat them like shit. People don't like you because you act as if you are doing everything right and all your problems are someone ELSE'S fault when the truth is that your problems are all YOUR fault.

As I said, not a single thing in my last email was an insult. Not one bit. It was all true. IT IS ALL TRUE. Swallow your fucking pride and accept that I'm not insulting you just because I'm refusing to kiss your ass and make you face the uncomfortable truth about yourself. You know exactly what you have to do to fix your life, Chris. I know you do because [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha]] and I (and other people) have told you COUNTLESS TIMES what you need to do to improve your situation. No one else will do it for you. If you don't fix it, no one else ever will.

The way I see it, you have two choices:
1) Put your pride aside, admit you are not special and that you have to follow the same life rules as everyone else, and do the same exact hard work that everyone else needs to do to be happy.
2) Sit on your ass, continue whining that people like me who try to help you are "hurting your feelings", continue to believe that you are a special little snowflake who has endured far worse hardship than anyone else, and spend the rest of your life as a lonely virgin.

I can kind of see now why you love going to Rocky for counseling, and I also understand better what exactly Rocky does to "counsel" you. The answer to both is that she blows smoke up your ass, tells you that none of your problems are your fault, and that you don't have to take responsibility for yourself. And you love that, because you want everyone around you to just kiss your ass. Well, the flip side of that is that Rocky thinks your a retard who will never improve or have sex. I'M the one who believes you stand a chance, Chris. I'M the one who is telling you the truth while she lies to you because she thinks you're hopeless. But by all means, if you'd rather never get sex or love or happiness just so that you can continue to pretend that someone else is obligated to fix your life for you, then don't listen to me. Go ahead and close your mind to the truth when someone who actually WANTS to see you be HAPPY tries to tell it to you like it is. I hope you respond to this and keep an open mind, but I can't make you, and if you want to keep living in your own self-imposed hell I won't lose sleep over it.

Jackie}}
{{Email|November 25, 2010 - 4:58pm
Hey Chris! Just wanted to wish you happy turkey day. Are you and your family doing anything special today?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 4:25pm
Thanks for the Thanksgiving Greeting. It was pleasant.

I am not an egotisital, selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are. Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?

I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other.

I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me.

Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please.

Take Care and Stay Safe,

One Misunderstood, Lonely, Caring Idiot,

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 7:36pm
And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.}}

{{Email|November 26, 2010 - 8:24pm
Hey Chris! I'm glad your Thanksgiving went well. Anyway, I have some responses to each of your points, which I will put after each section of your writing.

''"I am not an egotisital, selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are."''

You are egotistical, because not only do you believe yourself to be an ideal partner for any woman in your present state without requiring change, but you also believe it is plausible and practical to remain in your comfort zone for your entire life, to the point that avoiding any kind of discomfort or displeasure is one of your primary life goals. You are most definitely selfish, as evidenced by your unwillingness to budge even the slightest bit when I asked you to step out of said comfort zone and give me something I wanted. You always tried to twist and warp my requests into something else entirely, then you egotistically told me "it's good enough like that", even though I am the one who would determine that, not you. The truths I told you were things you absolutely needed to hear, because you so strongly believed yourself to be a paragon of manhood and you were in such a strong denial that nothing else COULD get through to you. Throwing that bucket of water in your face was on the same principle on which interventions are conducted. I have been nice to you time and again, but you just refuse to listen when advice is given "nicely". Using harsh words was entirely necessary.

''"Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?"''

I have two responses to this: First of all, sympathy has nothing to do with this. I have spent months sympathizing with you on every subject that bothers you, but it has gotten you nowhere. You still sit alone in your room, depressed and resentful toward the rest of the world. You don't listen when people sympathize with you. I chose my words very carefully because I KNEW they would shock you. I KNEW that shocking you was the only thing that might stand a chance of making you realize that you don't have the luxury of just sitting and waiting for the world to make itself perfect for you.

Secondly, you complain about not receiving sympathy, but when have you ever offered it? When people sympathize with you, all you end up doing is demanding that they fix your problems for you. You don't sympathize at all with people like me or Samantha when we get frustrated at how you routinely ignore our advice and would rather piss your life away playing video games. Friendship seems to be one-sided affair with you; you expect "sympathy" - which I think you misinterpret to mean "[[White knight|coddling]]" - but don't return the favor.

Thirdly, stop saying the internet is "making people autistic". That is grade A BULLSHIT. You bitch all the time about how everyone else has friends and relationships and can socialize, and how you are the only person who has your problems socializing; who then are these supposed people who are turning autistic? As I said, my words were deliberately chosen, I didn't "forget" how to "sympathize" with you just because my words came in an email instead of in person. I would have said the same exact thing to you in person. How about you stop playing the fucking PS Triple for 10 hours a day? Because I don't think you have a right to say others are addicted to the internet when you drop nearly every dollar you have buying stupid games on the internet.

''"I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other."''

Fair enough, it's nice to have friends in real life. So how's that working for you? How many people have you met out in the real world? You can't be talking about ME when you mention socializing in real life - we met online, so talking to me in real life would defeat your silly idea that internet socialization is worthless. Who else do you have? Or are you still expecting people to come up to you and do all the work for you? That's another perfect example of your egotism: You expect others to do all the work of creating a relationship with you, but you can't be bothered to put any effort into it yourself. You just say "I don't know what to do or where to go" as an excuse, despite the fact Samantha has given you many, many detailed ideas of how to start.

''"I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me."''

I hope you're aware that "Bust" means "virgin forever". You've spent the past decade of your adult life putting absolutely no effort into anything, including making friends, so I don't see why you would start now. I've been doing nothing but trying to help you, but if you arrogantly think you can afford to just toss me away because I won't bend over backwards for a guy who never put effort into making me happy, then I guess I can't stop you. Hope your pride keeps you warm at night when you don't have any relationships.

''"Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please."''

Wow, thanks. Glad to see how worthless you consider all of your interactions with me. Is that the sort of "sympathy" you were complaining about not receiving?
As I said, you do nothing in real life, you just expect others to take care of you for your entire life. So I don't see how the internet is such an awful thing by comparison.

''"And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me."''

You've just written a large email telling me that you basically want to forget about me because email is inconvenient and because I don't kiss your ass enough. Once again, sterling display of reciprocity you show there, Chris. Everyone is supposed to be nice and sympathetic to you but you don't care what others think or feel or need.

So anyway, if you want to go your whole life without having to face the truth about yourself, that's fine. Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 23]]

User:Grandma Nazi

2012-08-03T09:12:24Z

Grandma Nazi:

Look at me, I have a user page!

A-Logs

2012-08-03T08:57:15Z

Grandma Nazi: Corrected minor typos and updated info.

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from trolls and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a YouTube commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justification for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just an idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], is it generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. Except, of course, within the world of [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]], which hardly counts.

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.

====Chris's racism and homophobia====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms, in that you don't announce to the world you're discomforted by African-Americans, rather than of the ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. The closest he has come to that was picking on the black kids that frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]] and acting like they wanted to steal from him, and using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. His only real grievance, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. He is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington. Once again, Chris is just an idiot who plays PS3 all day.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs content that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money.
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was the him who convinced Chris he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would more likely than not take someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

While you are probably going to go to hell for laughing at someone who's practically a retard, relax - everyone has their vice, for some it's smoking, others it's consorting with loose women, for us it's generating lulz at everybody's favorite lulzcow. You do not need to justify it by arguing that Chris is a bad person who deserves to be trolled. One need only to see the fate of the original A-Log to see the potential consequences of that course of action.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get BLANGRY at every traitorous troll under lucricrities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris can not.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, YouTube comment on A-Log video}}

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]

Car Pranks

2012-08-02T06:22:55Z

Grandma Nazi: Chris has changed his answering machine message many, many times since 2009.

On 2 [[August 2009]], a hero posted Chris's [[Son-Chu|'94 Ford Escort]] for sale on [[Craigslist]] as part of a '''prank'''.

Seven months later, a trio of [[The Miscreants|BEST FRIENDS FOREVER]] contacted Chris, expressing interest in purchasing his car and offering their [[Hex Box]]es to sweeten the deal. Apparently, autistics don't know a good deal when they are given one, and Chris rejected all offers, no matter how innocent, with either [[Chris and anger|rage]] or his [[Chris and his ego|super-egotism]].

The voicemail greeting on Chris's cellphone also appears in the recording. In it he states that he will not take part in any interviews or documentaries under the advice of his "patholosist and [[Chris and the Law|lawyers]]". He also tosses a warning at any [[trolls]] who might be calling. It is not known when Chris recorded this greeting.

== Nick Dunbar (0:00 - 0:44)==
'''Chris:''' [''Clipped from start.''] -o? 
'''Nick:''' Hello, is, uh, is this Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, this is, uh, Christian Chandler, how may I help you? 
'''Nick:''' Hi, um, I'm calling in regards of your Craigslist ad, it says here that you're selling a '94 uh Escort for 400 dollars? 
'''Chris:''' That's, uh, that, that is a fake ad, somebody else put that up there without my consent as a prank. 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure? 
'''Chris:''' I will- 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I am pos- I am 100 percent positive. It's a fraud. Somebody else put it up there. I've already sent a complaint to Craigslist. So, go somewhere else for a car. 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure I can't convince you otherwise, sir? I mean I have a- 
'''Chris:''' [''Chris raises his voice.''] I AM SURE. 
'''Nick:''' You're sure. I have a perfectly good Xbox 360 right here, right next to me- 
'''Chris:''' SHUT UP! 
'''Nick:''' Oka- Excuse me, sir? 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.'']

== Voicemail Greeting (0:45 - 1:17)==
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my publicist and my lawyers to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation and at stake(?) at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much trollin'(?) stupid? I'm not trollin' stupid, you're trollin' stupid. Have a good day. [''BEEP'']

== [[BlueSpike]] (1:19 - 2:12)==
'''BlueSpike:''' Hey there, is this Mr. Chandler? 
'''Chris:''' Uh... Yes it is. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Good evening, sir. I'm calling regards to the Craigl-Craigslist about the '94 Escort? 
'''Chris:''' Ah. That, that thing has was put up there, it was a fake. I have not put that up there myself. Somebody's using my name my address and it's just- it's just a prank, it's not real. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Alright, no- no reason to get all, upset about it, sir. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, I'm sorry. 
'''BlueSpike:''' I have, uh, a pretty good condition Xbox. 
'''Chris:''' I-I-I am serious. It is not for sale. It never will- [''phone breaks up''] for [''break'']. And would you think I would give up my car for a blatantly stupid [[Hex Box]]? Hex, H-E-X. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, I can spell, sir. Do you prefer the [[PlayStation 3]]? 
'''Chris:''' I'm not selling my car. Good night. 
'''BlueSpike:''' But it was my brother's and now he's dead. 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.''] 

== [[Jack Thaddeus]] (2:13 - 2:43)==
'''Jack:''' Hehe, hi there! I'm sorry to bug you at this- this evening, buddy, but is this Mr. Chandler? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes it is. May I help you? 
'''Jack:''' I heard you have my bike. A '94 Ford bike? I'll trade you an Xbox for my bike. 
'''Chris:''' Ah... The car is not for sale, that ad was a fake- 
'''Jack:''' I said bike! 
'''Chris:''' -for sale, put up as a joke- 
'''Jack:''' I said bike! I need to have that back. 
'''Chris:''' -it has my address and my name on it. It was a joke. My car is not for sale, goodbye. 
'''Jack:''' This isn't a joke, buddy! My bike! 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.''] 

== External Links ==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBbXZ0NUQ2WWRvbkk Audio download]
* [http://db.tt/eOSKl7Wp Mirror of audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHJ1gev6x7o Listen to them on YouTube!]

{{FanChats}}
[[category:Phone calls]]

Talk:Chris in the media

2012-07-28T21:57:57Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Chris was mentioned in Trollsnews */

==To do==
You know how some of you folks wanted articles just about the radio appearance by Chris? Well congratulations, you have this page.

Ideally, this page serves to document all the appearances made by Chris in the media, ideally focusing on traditional media (TV, newspapers, radio, etc.). We could throw in the high profile sites like Fark, The Atlantic, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:04, 17 October 2009 (CEST)

Seriously, put media appearances here. I don't want to see articles like "Chris on the Radio" because then we'd need "Chris on TV," "Chris on the Blogosphere," "Chris in newspapers," "Chris in the middle of the street screaming," which defeats the purpose of this article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:53, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

== Internets section ==

I swear to GodBearJesus, I will personally find whoever adds troll-related material to the Internets section and cut off their [[duck]] or sew up their [[china]]. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 23:06, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

-I'm probably just being biased, but is the Atop the Fourth Wall reference really needed? I don't really know if that's high profile enough to merit a mentioning. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 21:16, 27 October 2010 (PDT)
:Hey! Linkara is even more internet famous than Chris. Also, HE IS A MAN! *punch* --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:20, 27 October 2010 (PDT)

==Notability blogs==
This is my wikifag in me coming out, but can someone establish the notability of some of the sites mentioned in the Internet media section? Obviously Fark is high profile, Harry Partridge definitely, but how about this Linkara fellow? Or Heavy.com? Or SpliceToday? I ask because I don't want people getting the idea that any time some YouTube ranter mentions Chris, it deserves a mention. Are these sources notable in any substantive way? Maybe someone who's familiar with these sites could chime in.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:11, 26 September 2011 (PDT)
*Linkara is the creator of Atop The Fourth Wall, a web show reviewing bad comic books. It's one of the most popular series on That Guy With the Glasses.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 20:34, 26 September 2011 (PDT)
*While I don't know much about this Linkara guy, the wikipedia article on That Guy with the Glasses has a [[wikipedia:That Guy with the Glasses#Atop the Fourth Wall|section]] about Atop The Fourth Wall. As well as that an entry on Linkara also exists on wikipedia but not as an article of it's own but as a redirect to That Guy with the Glasses. I think that makes him notable enough to have his comments about Sonichu incorporated in this article. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 12:38, 27 September 2011 (PDT)

== Sonichu ==

Heh, would Sonichu be notable enough for its own Wikipedia article? [[User:Barry|Barry]] 15:52, 27 September 2011 (PDT)

== Chris and the Media ==

Is that a possibility for helping to flesh this page out?

Just my own suggestion.[[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 23:25, 27 September 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145
** In [[Chris in the media]] on 2011-09-20 22:30:50, 404 Not Found
** In [[Chris in the media]] on 2011-09-28 08:02:13, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:01, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== I am better than your kids. ==

I saw one of Chris's drawings on a website. Should it go under this or the drawing itself?
:A) Learn to sign your posts. You just need to put four Tildas (~) at the end of it. B) If I'm not mistaken the ''I Am Better than Your Kids'' website is written by Maddox, same guy who does ''The Best Page in the Universe''. Since he's important enough to have a [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|wikipedia article]] I'm guessing that him discussing Chris on one of his website is significant enough to warrant a mention of it in this article. [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 10:05, 19 May 2012 (PDT)

== Chris was mentioned in Trollsnews ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHxiQVwMboI&feature=g-all-u The latest episode of Trollsnews] reported on Chris's trial. Is this notable enough for inclusion? [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 14:57, 28 July 2012 (PDT)

Talk:Chris in the media

2012-07-28T21:56:10Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Chris was mentioned in Trollsnews */ new section

Saga

2012-07-16T06:24:27Z

Grandma Nazi: /* The GAMe PLACe Saga (pre-2005 - present) */

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

The exact origin of the term "saga" being used to refer to these events in Chris's life is, as of yet, unknown. However, some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook|audiobook]] project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - 18 March 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June 2007 - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga (''August 2008 - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - present)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January 2009 - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February 2009 - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga (''March 2009 - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's suicide.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''June 21, 2009 - 27 July 2011'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July, 2011.

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 30 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and is identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and Health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''pre-2005 - present'')===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain. Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the longest saga to date, it's little wonder why [[Barb]] believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga (''April 5, 2010 - November 26, 2010'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.

===[[Tomgirl Saga]] (''28 April 2011 - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, when Chris found out he was discovered on the forums, he decided to fight back by [[Calling Out]] various [[trolls]], demanding that they apologize and leave the Internet or they would have their information revealed and be trolled in return. He managed to drive away Surfshack Tito, before the saga was utterly derailed by the death of his father, [[Bob]].

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Saga

2012-07-16T06:22:38Z

Grandma Nazi:

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

The exact origin of the term "saga" being used to refer to these events in Chris's life is, as of yet, unknown. However, some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook|audiobook]] project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - 18 March 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June 2007 - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga (''August 2008 - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - present)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January 2009 - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February 2009 - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga (''March 2009 - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's suicide.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''June 21, 2009 - 27 July 2011'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July, 2011.

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 30 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and is identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and Health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''pre-2005 - present'')===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain. Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were broughBarbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the longest saga to date, it's little wonder why [[Barb]] believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga (''April 5, 2010 - November 26, 2010'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.

===[[Tomgirl Saga]] (''28 April 2011 - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, when Chris found out he was discovered on the forums, he decided to fight back by [[Calling Out]] various [[trolls]], demanding that they apologize and leave the Internet or they would have their information revealed and be trolled in return. He managed to drive away Surfshack Tito, before the saga was utterly derailed by the death of his father, [[Bob]].

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Talk:This is how the Trial went

2012-07-13T05:24:40Z

Grandma Nazi: Created page with "It would be pretty awesome if someone was willing to pay the fee to obtain a transcript of the event and type it up. ~~~~"

It would be pretty awesome if someone was willing to pay the fee to obtain a transcript of the event and type it up. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 22:24, 12 July 2012 (PDT)

Talk:Voicemail greeting

2012-07-08T18:03:40Z

Grandma Nazi: /* Can we put his phone number up here? */ new section

If we can, I'd like to document all of Chris's voicemail messages from past and present. There should be recordings of it given all the people who try to prank Chris on YouTube. I encourage anyone who has recording of Chris's voice mail message to leave them here and post them on YouTube. Hell, I'll see if Abuelita can host them. In any case, i think people have a point that this should be document, so let's make it so.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:44, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Rap remix ==

Video of the now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW8FwqlDFzU

:Why would it be, and why are you putting this here? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 16:38, 13 March 2011 (PDT)
:That wasn't "me", but it's pretty much what I would have said anyway. For reference, "This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]]." [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 17:20, 13 March 2011 (PDT)

== New message ==

Looks like Chris has got a new message, let's get it documented.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 18 April 2011 (PDT)

:Here it is and it's pretty lackluster.
:http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 -- [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 15:06, 19 April 2011 (PDT)
*Thank you, I realize it's lackluster but it still needs to be documented. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:11, 19 April 2011 (PDT)
*Does the way he says "Helloooo" sound gay? Also, is it going to be posted on Youtube as well? I want to hear it, but I can't download the file. -- [[User:Requiempeace|Requiempeace]] 19:38, 6 May 2011 (PDT)

Another new one up, need to get it.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:57, 14 June 2011 (PDT)

==Damn!==

Someone already beat me to writing his newest message. Oh well.--[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 10:27, 5 May 2011 (PDT)
:There's a new one as of July 2nd, 2011 (I think Chris comes up with a new one every month... This one is happier by the way, no mention of trolls. I can't get the audio of it though, so someone else will have to help me with that. PLEASE and Thank You! --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 12:40, 2 July 2011 (PDT)
:: AND now there's another new one within july...he posted it between july 15-17th cuz it was the same one on the 14th. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:03, 17 July 2011 (PDT)

== Why are we doing this? ==

This seems really pointless. The only point to calling Chris is to check on his voicemail message, and he'll only keep changing it because people are constantly calling to hear it. It's totally useless and all it's going to do is further annoy Chris with no payoff. This page is just going to encourage people to call him multiple times a day. --[[User:Elias|Elias]] 13:25, 31 July 2011 (PDT)
: Sign your damn posts! ( Elias ) This is important because it is Chris related and "NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR" when it comes to information about Chris's day and life. The fact that he changes it so often is a phenomenon in itself. There are studies that show that the "average" person only changes their voicemail 1-5 times a YEAR... Chris changes his every month with sometimes changing it more than that. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 13:20, 31 July 2011 (PDT)
:: Sorry! I'm dumb and always forget to sign. My point is that Chris only changes it because trolls keep calling him to hear it, so he records a new one telling them not to. I'm going to disagree and say that this shit really is too minor; there's nothing funny about his new messages because they're all variations on the same thing. Stuff like the tomgirl forum is funny because it gets an actual result, whereas this just lets some dumbass feel important because he was the first to post the hot new info that Chris doesn't like being called randomly throughout the day by people he doesn't know. --[[User:Elias|Elias]] 13:25, 31 July 2011 (PDT)
::*We're [[CWCki:NOTED|not doing it to be funny]]. We document Chris because we can and we must. Being funny is inconsequential. Chris's voicemail could lead to new insight on Chris, I mean if we consider his choice of words, when and why he changes it, etc. I'd recommend you to lurk moar so you can see what the CWCki is about. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:35, 1 August 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ
** In [[Voicemail message]] on 2011-09-20 22:40:37, 404 Not Found
** In [[Voicemail message]] on 2011-10-31 02:34:13, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:33, 30 October 2011 (PDT)

== An operator? ==

The latest update says that an operator says something, did Chris finally get a new phone number, or disconnect the old one?? Can anyone test this out? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:12, 4 December 2011 (PST)
: Nevermind, I did it. Whoever put the operator didn't call the right number. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:58, 4 December 2011 (PST)

== Ambiguous page title. ==

This page should be titled "Voicemail Greeting" not ''message''. All major VM providers reffer to this as the greeting. a voicemail MESSAGE is what is left by the person calling after they hear the greeting. you hear a greeting, you leave a message.
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 09:23, 7 December 2011 (PST)
:Should be titled "Voicemail greeting" (caps). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:56, 8 December 2011 (PST)
::sweet, i guess there are people that actually give a rats ass about the details.. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 06:35, 13 December 2011 (PST)

== Can we put his phone number up here? ==

I'm having trouble finding it to check for messages myself. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 11:03, 8 July 2012 (PDT)