CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and gender

2015-07-20T08:16:16Z

Gunter:

{{Incomplete}}
[[Chris]] is nowadays struggling to figure out his true '''gender'''. He is physically a [[male]] but [[Tomgirl Saga|currently]] identifies as [[Girls|female]]. Chris's views of both physical genders are extremely warped due to his personal experiences and lack of knowledge from sources besides the stereotypes he is presented with in [[Chris and television|television]] and [[Netflix|other media]].

== Blatant Sexism ==
Due to Chris's ignorance, he has gathered his entire knowledge of gender through media such as [[television]] and [[music]]. Chris views females as [[Sex tape|hyper-sexual]], [[Mall|preoccupied with shopping]], [[Animal Crossing Documentary|given to conversing with others for hours]], and fixated on [[PlayingHouse|getting married and having children]]. This is highly evident in his female characters in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', most prominently in [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], whose "personality" consists solely of the traits listed above. He also rarely shows [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] fighting, but instead as being passive sex objects for the [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Chris's vision of an ideal relationship is also sexist. On several occasions, Chris eagerly suggested having a MFF threesome, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a MMF threesome.<ref>[[Ivy_Q&A#Love and marriage]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> Chris also deemed it acceptable for him to go to a strip club when stressed, but considered it immoral for women to do the same. When approached about his sexism, Chris [[Stress|becomes offended]]. His usual defence is that that he has never harmed a woman (despite numerous [[death threats]]). This suggests Chris believes that misogyny consists solely of physical abuse of women.

In recent years, Chris's attitude towards women has slowly become yet more demanding and aggressive. In the [[Catherine E-mails]] leaked in 2014, Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (surprise, surprise), insults her and claims he is '''entitled''' to the relationship. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was abusing her friends and telling her what she could and couldn't do.

In early 2015, a female troll concerned by Chris's unrepentant stance on his [[26 December 2014|aggression at GameStop]] contacted Chris under the name Renee, and attempted to persuade him to seek psychological help. Instead, Chris tried to beg her to date him (even though she had already clearly stated she had a boyfriend) and, when he figured out she was leaking their correspondence, he wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a [[Destruction of Chris's House|house fire]]...then tried to beg her to date him again a few days later.<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Renee E-mails]]</ref> The ultimate message here is that Chris doesn't care who you are, what you have to say or what your intentions are. He only cares what kind of sexual organs you have, and if he has a shot at claiming them.

== Males ==
Chris has harbored a deep hatred for [[JERKS|men]] ever since his teenage years, not due to any traumatic experience as such, but as far as anyone knows, purely because [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|seeing other guys scoring]] when he was failing miserably at it pissed him off. This gradually blossomed into a general distaste for masculine traits such as body [[hair]]; indeed, in his [[nudes]] it is apparent that he is surprisingly meticulous in shaving his body hair, certainly compared to [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|other aspects of grooming]]. He also has stated, as shown in this [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]], a disgust for "topless men" and [[Brassieres For Males|encourages men]] to wear [[muscle bra]]s so he doesn't have to see their nipples. He even made a (now somewhat outdated) short list of the men he doesn't consider "jerks", which included himself, his [[Bob Chandler|father]] and [[Santa Clause]] ''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and English|sic]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>''.

== [[Tomgirl Saga]] ==
In April 2011, [[Tomgirl Pictures|photos]] were leaked by [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] showing Chris dressed in women's clothes. Soon after Chris announced he was a "Tomgirl". Chris being a tomgirl has resulted in him wearing [[Chris and fashion#Chris's Tomgirl Fashion Sense|feminine clothes]], a brief attempt at [[Un-clit|piercing his taint]], and growing long hair. Despite this, Chris still rigidly maintains he is attracted solely to women.

There is still speculation to why he has done this. Chris may have believed that joining the female community would aid his Love Quest, which naturally it hasn't, and indeed, sensible person can see that identifying as a lesbian actually shrinks his pool of successful sweethearts, given that lesbians are a minority group. Chris also may have done this in hopes that trolls would stop suggesting he likes "[[Homos|the wrong gender]]". Some just believe Chris has been [[TRUE and HONEST]] and has always felt this way, despite little evidence. Regardless of the reason, the Tomgirl Saga has continued to this day. Despite being self-described as a "lesbian in a male body", and even showing off pictures of him slapping Human Rights Campaign stickers all over his [[Son-Chu|car]], Chris still seems to be rendered very uncomfortable by gay men, although he has slowly backed down from his bigotry towards them, possibly recognizing that his disdain for them is irrational even by his standards.

== See also ==
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Muscle bra]]

== References ==
<references/>

[[Category:Chris and...]]

April 16 Fetish Vids

2015-06-26T19:45:24Z

Gunter: /* Fanta: Semen Flavor */ pipe

{{Honest}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|right|The April 16 Fetish Vids also include a set of photos, showing [[Chris]] wearing [[butt garments|diapers]].]]

The '''April 16 Fetish Vids''' is a set of three videos and a handful of photos, showing Chris engaged in different explicit and shocking practices. Chris made all of them for [[Ivy]] except the shower dance, which was another audition tape for [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. This content was released by [[The Miscreants]] on 16 [[April 2009]].

==Fanta: Semen Flavor==
In their conversations about love and life, Chris told [[Ivy]] that he [[recycling|recycled]] his semen to protect his fertility. He also claimed that his semen would taste ''exactly'' like what he had recently eaten. To test this hypothesis, Ivy requested a video. Naturally, Chris screws it up, drinking the Fanta only after the fact.

===Transcript===

''[Chris appears in his room, dressed in a green bathrobe. His hair is disheveled.''

This is for my sweetest [[Ivy]]'s eyes only.

''[Chris holds up a small disposable cup made of clear plastic. A thick, white liquid rests in a thin layer along the bottom.]''

Here's some of my, uh, [[comeuppance|cum]] I just [[mass debating|masturborted]] out.

''[He points at his own semen in the cup and brings it even closer to the camera.]''

'Bout to that much, that's usually a lot.

''[Chris holds a can of Fanta orange soda near the camera. He wears his [[Amnyfest Ring]] on his hand.]]

Couldn't find any chocolate syrup, but I have some orange soda.

''[Chris cracks open the can of Fanta. He fills the bottom third of the [[Fapcup]] with soda. He swishes the soda and semen around, with an extremely disquieting smirk on his face.]''

Well...bottoms up!

''[He tilts back his head and drinks the cup of semen and Fanta.]''

There you go, Ivy, orange-flavored cum. Hope you enjoyed that!

===Screencaps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Cumguzzlingchris1.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris2.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris3.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris4.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris5.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris6.jpg
</gallery></center>

* [http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischan-cum-fanta/wMlgfbs9XSDP/ Can be viewed here]

==Spank Dat Ass==
{{Deletedvideo}}
Chris is depicted spanking himself while kneeling on his filthy, [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|yellow]]ed mattress. Ivy requested this video as punishment for his cheating on her with Ivy, but she had not asked that he be nude.

===Transcript===
''[Chris is dressed in a green bathrobe and nothing else. He looks at the camera, kneels on his mattress and begins spanking himself. He doesn't do a very good job.]''

Oh, I'm sorry for being...

''[spanks self]''

Uh!

''[spanks self]''

Oh!

''[spanks self]''

Yeah!

''[spanks self]''

A bit harder!

''[spanks self]''

Oh, I'm sorry!

''[spanks self]''

Oh [[Ivy]], that smarts!

''[rubs ass]''

Aah.

===Screencaps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Spanking1.jpg|SMACK
Image:Spanking2.jpg|DAT
Image:Spanking3.jpg|ASS!!!!
</gallery></center>

==How NOT to Take a Shower==
{{quote|C'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom!|Chris, ever classy}}

Chris dances with an imaginary woman in his [[ShowerClean|beyond unclean shower stall]]. This audition video was commissioned by Vanessa. She thought he had star quality.

===Transcript===

''[A disgusting shower stall is shown. The grout is black with mildew and there are large blotchy brown stains on the tile. Two rolls of toilet paper appear in the foreground. Suddenly, the giant fat ass of a white male enters the frame.]''

Hey Ivy! May I have this dance?

''[Christian extends his hand towards the shower, which is empty except for mold and fungus. He steps inside, and begins a naked slow dance in his shower. His body is only visible from the chest down and his body is completely shaved. His skin codsition is hard to describe due to the lighting but looks unhealthy. His hands are clenched tightly, as if he [[Pedofork|is holding the hands of a small child]]. About 25 seconds in he tries to twirl, but he has a hard time turning his body around. He stumbles off-balance and catches himself against the wall. He then holds one arm up like he's twirling his imaginary dance partner. At 50 seconds in he makes a hugging motion and leans forward as if kissing his [[Troll|pretend Internet girlfriend.]]]''

Oh yeah, c'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom. Let's go Ivy. I'll help you.

''[Chris steps out of the tub and walks towards the camera, bringing his tiny, hairless, shrunken genitalia extremely close to the camera. He fumbles at the camera for a second and it shuts off.]''

===Screencaps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg|DAT GROUT
Image:Assofterror.jpg|In the actual video it jiggles alarmingly.
Image:Goodbyehorses.jpg|Chris shows off his dance moves to the mold and mildew.
Image:Fallingoffbalance.jpg|Chris lightens the mood of an otherwise intensely disturbing moment by almost falling on his face.
Image:Doitinthebedroom.jpg|"Let's do it in the bedroom!"
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|HA HA HA HA HA!
</gallery></center>

*[http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischan-shower/sW8HU4nybtk6/ Can be viewed here]

==Unfit for Collection==
This set of pictures showing Chris wearing diapers ("nappies" in the British dialect), or, as Chris calls them, [[butt garments]], was demanded by Ivy and her roommate as further punishment for his cheating. In Ivy's words, "During the photo shoot Chris decided to lick his [[medallion]] and throw a wink our way, as he wanted to 'still look good for me'."

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg|You can actually see the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit stains]]...
Image:HelloSpas.jpg|A bout of [[random-access humor]].
Image:Ecp00065.jpg|Lick dat medallion!
Image:Ecp00066.jpg|Wink wink.
</gallery>
</center>

* Download: <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?ujy9stnezvm]</s> (dead link)

{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|nextlink=[[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-16]]
[[Category: Ivy Saga videos| 2009-04-16]]
[[Category: Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-04-16]]

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

2015-06-16T22:15:24Z

Gunter: o rly

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Kengle_Pop-up.gif|55px]]</div>
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Kengle
|-
| '''Religion'''
| [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]]
|-
| '''Age'''
| 56
|-
| '''Gender'''
| [[Male]]
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White
|-
| '''Education'''
| DeKalb Technical College ([[Wikipedia:Associate_degree#United_States|AAS]], accounting)
Kennesaw State University ([[Wikipedia:Bachelor of Business Administration|BBA]], accounting)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Bookkeeper
|-
|}

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''', unaffectionately known among [[trolls]] by the portmanteau '''Kengle''', is one of [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]] [[white knights]]. As an overweight, inept, autistic, middle-aged, part-time bookkeeper and accountant with a penchant for creating bizarre artwork, Kengle naturally feels as though he shares a lot in common with him.

Kengle is also notable for being one of two confirmed genuine fans of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] during the comic's run (another being [[The July 10th Messages|Sonichuizcool]]).

== Relationship with Chris ==
Kengle's intentions towards Chris seem entirely [[True and Honest]] - although he'll occasionally make what appears to be a subtle jab at him. Kenneth will often give praise to Chris when he feels there is justification in doing so. A notable example of this was praising on Christian on some of his artwork a [[medallion]], having an opinion on a [[video game]], and breathing in and out.

Kenneth is best known for his artwork: Sonichen and Rosechen [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/]. While he was initially rejected as a troll by Christian, this is no longer the case. Him and Christian have been Facebook friends for quite a while. Kenneth remains the only person on record to have made a Sonichu-Derivative website and friend Christian. Occasionally, he does post on Christian's Facebook statuses. While there is some debate on whether Kenneth is a member Christian's inner circle on Facebook, him and Christian do have a number of mutual friends in common, the most notable being William Waterman. Despite his lolcow status on the forums, by and large he is actually quite well-liked on Facebook.

There have been occasions on Kenneth hosting anti-bullying forums for a short-period on Sonichu.org and Spergweb.com. Technical issues (unfamiliarity with forum design) and trolling however have generally forced these off the internet. While there was initially interest in a fan-site started with Christian's approval, this did not follow through due to unfamiliarity with Dreamweaver.

Kengle has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris' [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]]. Kengle is considered an lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] fan comic ''Sonichen,'' which is somewhat reminiscent of low-budget Eldritch abominations. As far as can be deduced, Chris is only vaguely aware of this horrific homage, and disapproves. [[Parody|Ironically]], Kengle justifies his comic as a parody.

Although Kengle is classified as lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre artwork and websites, he is considered more of a borderline/low-grade cow compared to more infamous cows on the forum. It was recently noted that Kenneth's Sonichen and Rosechen website was dismantled and rebuilt as a general website to exhibit his artwork. Whether the comic will return remains to be seen.

==Relationship with Trolls==
Kengle was banned from the [[Kiwi Farms]] because he does not seem to comprehend that there are [[trolls|mean people on the Internet]], and instead believes that everyone is genuinely just interested in Chris as a cool famous Internet dude who everyone wants to befriend. Nonetheless, Kengle's thread on the forum has ballooned to 120+ pages and counting.

In many ways, Kengle is the [[Rosechu]] to Chris's [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]; a useless borderline-NPC character who shows up occasionally to be mildly annoying.

==External Links==
* [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/ Kengle's ''Sonichen'' website.] '''Note:''' Will cause nightmares.
* [http://www.kennethengelhardt.com Ken's official website]
* [http://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Kenneth_Erwin_Engelhardt Kengle on the LOLcow Wiki]

{{people}}
[[Category:People]]

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

2015-06-16T08:41:42Z

Gunter:

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Kengle_Pop-up.gif|55px]]</div>
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Kengle
|-
| '''Religion'''
| [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]]
|-
| '''Age'''
| 56
|-
| '''Gender'''
| [[Male]]
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White
|-
| '''Education'''
| DeKalb Technical College ([[Wikipedia:Associate_degree#United_States|AAS]], accounting)
Kennesaw State University ([[Wikipedia:Bachelor of Business Administration|BBA]], accounting)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Bookkeeper
|-
|}

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''', unaffectionately known among [[trolls]] by the portmanteau '''Kengle''', is one of [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]] [[white knights]]. As an overweight, inept, autistic, middle-aged, part-time bookkeeper and accountant with a penchant for creating horrifying, warped artwork, Kengle naturally feels as though he shares a lot in common with him.

Kengle is also notable for being one of two confirmed genuine fans of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] during the comic's run (the other being [[The July 10th Messages|Sonichuizcool]]).

== Relationship with Chris ==
Kengle's intentions towards Chris seem entirely [[True and Honest]] - although he'll occasionally make what appears to be a subtle jab at him. Kenneth will often give praise to Chris when he feels there is justification in doing so. A notable example of this was praising on Christian on some of his artwork a [[medallion]], having an opinion on a [[video game]], and breathing in and out.

Kenneth is best known for his artwork: Sonichen and Rosechen [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/]. While he was initially rejected as a troll by Christian, this is no longer the case. Him and Christian have been Facebook friends for quite a while. Kenneth remains the only person on record to have made a Sonichu-Derivative website and friend Christian. Occasionally, he does post on Christian's Facebook statuses. While there is some debate on whether Kenneth is a member Christian's inner circle on Facebook, him and Christian do have a number of mutual friends in common, the most notable being William Waterman. Despite his lolcow status on the forums, by and large he is actually quite well-liked on Facebook.

There have been occasions on Kenneth hosting anti-bullying forums for a short-period on Sonichu.org and Spergweb.com. Technical issues (unfamiliarity with forum design) and trolling however have generally forced these off the internet. While there was initially interest in a fan-site started with Christian's approval, this did not follow through due to unfamiliarity with Dreamweaver.

Kengle has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris' [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]]. Kengle is considered an lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] fan comic ''Sonichen,'' which is somewhat reminiscent of low-budget Eldritch abominations. As far as can be deduced, Chris is only vaguely aware of this horrific homage, and disapproves. [[Parody|Ironically]], Kengle justifies his comic as a parody.

Although Kengle is classified as lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre artwork and websites, he is considered more of a borderline/low-grade cow compared to more infamous cows on the forum. It was recently noted that Kenneth's Sonichen and Rosechen website was dismantled and rebuilt as a general website to exhibit his artwork. Whether the comic will return remains to be seen.

==Relationship with Trolls==
Kengle was banned from the [[Kiwi Farms]] because he does not seem to comprehend that there are [[trolls|mean people on the Internet]], and instead believes that everyone is genuinely just interested in Chris as a cool famous Internet dude who everyone wants to befriend. Nonetheless, Kengle's thread on the forum has ballooned to 120+ pages and counting.

In many ways, Kengle is the [[Rosechu]] to Chris's [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]; a useless borderline-NPC character who shows up occasionally to be mildly annoying.

==External Links==
* [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/ Kengle's ''Sonichen'' website.] '''Note:''' Will cause nightmares.
* [http://www.kennethengelhardt.com Ken's official website]
* [http://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Kenneth_Erwin_Engelhardt Kengle on the LOLcow Wiki]

{{people}}
[[Category:People]]

Chris and fashion

2015-03-19T19:39:07Z

Gunter:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]

{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. The majority of shirts he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which are decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) of his shirts was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts. However, with the advent of the [[Tomgirl Saga]], this clothing seems to have fallen from grace in favor of equally hideous (but more feminine) garb.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look particularly good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a [[Chris and brand loyalty|St. John's Bay®]] Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. It was destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house.<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref>
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a [[Truck Driver|gay trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, even if he's [[Destruction Of Chris's House|lost some of his favorite shirts]], going back to the medallion would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to have [[hanky-panky]] with, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five--a public, family-oriented concert, mind you. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class sweatshirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

In [[October 2014]], the Internet collectively got brown pants after Chris [[I Love You, Catherine|made his first video in a while]]. In that video, he was depicted with his Manchester High School sweatshirt, while in [[To Mr. Smith|the follow-up]], he was shown with an orange shirt and striped sleeves underneath.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more--the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011, a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]]</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of glasses

[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|left|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

===Later Tomgirl Fashion===
Chris's tomgirl antics have continued for several years, still happening in late [[2014]], but although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe seem remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color co-ordination and clothing size. Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices as of 2014 are:

[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris, later in the same year.]]

* Clashing violently opposed colors (particularly red with blue/green)
* Wearing clothing far too small for him (see the [[October 2014 Facebook Posts]] for examples)
* Wearing dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Bras
* Omission of glasses, possibly due to contact lenses
* Eye makeup, which is applied poorly and usually purple in color

Later on in the year, however, Chris's fashion sense would deteriorate completely, as seen in the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is seen wearing the following:

* Purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, used as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]" for his undercover [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]]
* A silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair]]line
* Manchester High sweatshirt
* Short jeans, matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]
* Boots (possibly Uggs)

Going on into 2015, it was confirmed that Chris went to the trial for the [[26 December 2014]] incident in his tomgirl attire. This suggests that even having to face a judge isn't enough to convince him to dress properly.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt, which later gained the aforementioned nicknames of the "clown shirt", or "The Classic". Given that he is autistic, observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Chris seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the Sonichu medallion and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his [[United States of America|patriotism]].

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

File:Patti-zombie.jpg

2015-03-19T19:26:52Z

Gunter:

Hey, don't you think it'd be cool if Patti's body decomposed like normal after she was revived?

I think that'd be cool.

[[Category:Patti-Chan]]

File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg

2015-03-19T19:26:40Z

Gunter:

Derived from [[:File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg]] and the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/gotta-go-fast "gotta go fast"] drawing.
[[Category:Sonichu fan art]]

Colin

2015-03-19T19:22:48Z

Gunter:

{{Merge|Catherine}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colin_China2013.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|Black]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Successful Businessman
|-
|}

'''Colin''' is the wealthy, handsome, and fit [[Niggos|black]] man who found himself forming the hypotenuse in the [[Chris]]tine-[[Catherine]]-Colin love triangle. Chris immediately developed a hatred of him wrought primarily of his financial success. Born into a wealthy family and a successful businessman of his own right, Colin was the easy choice for Catherine when she was dismayed with Chris's [[Monthly Tugboat|poor financial potential]]. This came to a forefront when it was [[Open Relationship E-mails|revealed]] inadvertently that Catherine had elected to go on a sailing trip with Colin in New York, making Chris extremely jealous. On several occasions ([[Chris and English|perhaps unintentionally]]) Chris misspelled Colin as "Colon".

His jealousy was extended by Colin's "offensive" male physique (i.e., having pecs instead of manboobs) that seemed to rile Chris's self-loathing and hatred for his homosexual inclinations up. Chris blocked Colin's e-mail the moment he suggested that his homophobia and disgust toward males (as seen in his [[Brassieres For Males]] Facebook page) were results of Chris's latent homosexuality.

[[Colin Chat 1|Chats]] [[Colin Chat 2|between]] the two of them show Chris to have a vast inferiority complex toward Colin.

{{People}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Catherine Saga]]

IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

2015-03-19T19:20:48Z

Gunter: /* Transcript */

{{Incomplete}}

The '''IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court''' followed the [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|Applebee's date]] between [[Catherine]] and Chris on 31 [[August 2014]]. As on the date itself, Catherine's cousin Al tagged along. As Catherine would later relate, "We were going to escape to the 'mechanic' where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us [[14 Branchland Court|14BC]], we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets." For about ten minutes the trio trudged through the weedy, garbage-strewn lawn outside of Chris's burned-out home. Catherine's description: "The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. [[Robert Chandler|Bob]]'s old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much."

==Summary==

==Transcript==
[''Garbled, Chris and Catie talking in the background'']

'''Catherine''': ...from what you had told me...[?]...it doesn't look all that bad, it just in need of a new roof but it looks like it's a lot more damage – you must be... that must have been devastating!

'''Chris''': Yeah, [[Destruction of Chris's House|it was devastating]]. At least we all got out safe.

'''Catie''' and '''Al''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So what's under this tarp?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's, uh, material for the renovation.

'''Catherine''': Ah so...[garbled by Chris speaking over Catie]...better not touch it.

'''Chris''': The other triangle ones over there on the other side dumpster, rafters.

'''Al''': So, how long's it been here? I see that there's the leaves and everything on it...

'''Chris''': Oh, It's been here for, like, uh, about a week or two.

'''Catherine''': Oh, just a week or two?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': How long ago was the fire again?

'''Chris''': It was last January, on the tenth.

'''Al''': So it's been what, like, seven, eight months?

'''Chris''': Yeah, it happened at like two a.m.

'''Catherine''': That must-

'''Chris''': [[Clover and Snoopy|Dogs]] woke me up, and I saw the fire, I- I was like, oh my God, fire!

'''Al''': So...shit, so you just ran out of the house, then?

'''Chris''': Well, didn't- I didn't think of that initially, but I called 911, they advised us to get out of the house. [[Barbara Chandler|My mom]] tried to py- tried to put out the fire with the esstinguisher...

'''Catherine''': Yeah?

'''Chris''': If she had a second one, she would have won that battle!

'''Catherine''': Think so? Oh, don't go in!

'''Chris''': [?]

'''Al''': Is that all locked up, then?

'''Chris''': Yeah, it's locked up. I don't even remember the combination anymore for that thing. I used to have it for when I was putting the box- collecting the boxes...

'''Al''': So after the fire, you got what was left out of the house, then?

'''Chris''': Yeah, we salvaged a lot! There were a lot of things that were still...very good shape.

'''Catherine''': What kind of things?

[garbled, as everyone speaks at the same time]

'''Chris''': Hundreds, and thousands...

'''Catherine''': Oh, there's broken glass, I'm not going to stand there!

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': You've got hundreds-

'''Catherine''': Come right here and not stand on the broken glass!

'''Al''': I got boots on, I'm fine.

'''Catherine''': Well, you've got boots on, I haven't.

'''Al''': Yeah, well...damn.

'''Chris''': Oh, it's the same shoes as you wore in the picture!

'''Catherine''': Yeah! They're my favorite shoes. I'm probably going to have to get rid of them soon, they're starting to get um...
[garbled]

'''Chris''': They've got a nice selection at [[Target]] or [[Walmart]]-

'''Catherine''': Mm-hmm, usually. I used to get my shoes at the [?]-

'''Chris''': Yes, they're the upper end, that.

'''Catherine''': ...discount- discount shoe warehouse.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it's a good place. If you- if you know how to shop, you get them pretty cheap.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, Chris, you said the fire was eight months ago, but they only delivered that stuff like, a week or two ago?

'''Chris''': Yeah, a whole lot paperwork had to be processed, everywhere.

'''Al''': Yeah!

'''Catherine''': What sort of paperwork?

'''Chris''': Oh, you know, the- whate- I don't know all- I don't know specifically, but-you-know, between state farm and Arcam Construction [sp?] and...[[Rainbow]] Cleaners...

'''Catherine''': Okay.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So...I suppose...[?]...I was born to speak all mirth and no matter, it's a quote from Shakespeare. This one's Shakespeare as well.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I like Shakespeare.

'''Chris''': I know you do, you told me.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it's a little strange, but...

'''Chris''': Yeah, and the li- and the Tudors, you like dressing up for Halloween.

'''Catherine''': Mm-hmm, I love dressing up for Halloween; Halloween is not too fa- too far out.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, you know...

[garbled]

'''Al''': So, what happened- what happened with all the windows and all?

'''Chris''': The firemen did that, they broke the windows so they could get in... yeah, 'cuz of all the clutter we had...in the house.

'''Catherine''': [unclear, perhaps: Yeah, you got- you've got to throw some of those things out?]

'''Al''': So what's the story with this? It looks like an old car.

'''Chris''': Uhhh, no, uh, actually it was a- it was- it's in newer condition than you think.

'''Al''': How long's it been sitting here?

'''Chris''': It has been sitting here since the fire, actually, uh, couldn't get it started to move it...da battery died, it needs a new battery.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that's an easy fix!

'''Chris''': Yeah it's an easy fix, but then it's got worse problems than that. We're gonna sell it.

'''Al''': Yeah. How much you trying to get for it?

'''Chris''': Mm, I don't know, My mom my- my mom...I don't know, that's her department, but...guessing, guessing maybe five, two to five grand.

'''Al''': Two to five grand? How long's it been since it's run?

'''Chris''': Ugh.

'''Al''': Since the fire, you said?

'''Chris''': Yeah, pretty much.

'''Al''': Well, Chris...how old's this car again?

'''Chris''': Ugh, I forget. Um...

'''Al''': Probably about fifteen years, or so?

'''Chris''': Uhh, a lot le- I'd say...less than that.

'''Al''': All right. Well, if it hasn't run in almost eight or nine months, a lot of the gasoline inside the motor can clog it up and damage the motor so the engine might be damaged. I don't know if you'd get two or five grand for it.

'''Chris''': Eh, well, you never know, we're gonna try sell it.

'''Al''': Yeah. I don't know, I hope- I hope...

'''Catherine''': I suppose you'd have to get what you could for it.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': I hope you get some cash for it, so, yeah...

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Well, maybe you could help me find somebody.

'''Catherine''': There's always [[Craigslist]]!

'''Al''': Yeah. But you get a bunch of weird people on Craigslist, too.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I suppose you do. I mean, I don't use Craigslist very much, but...

'''Al''': So what's this? Is this like, an old dog pen, or bed-

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, [[Patti]], my dog Patti, who, uh, died quite- quite a few years ago, she lived- she lived in the pen. I moved the doghouse with [[obesity|my muscles]] and how [[I AM STRONG|strong]] I was, moved it right over there to where we buried her.

'''Catherine''': Oh, right there!

'''Al''': She bur- what?

'''Chris''': We buried her underneath where that doghouse is.

'''Al''': Right- right over there where that doghouse is?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': But that's- I guess it's best not to tread on it.

'''Al''': Yeah, probably not good to walk-

'''Catherine''': Oh, you've got a little gazebo back here!

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Ah, ye- did you ever spend time here?

'''Chris''': Yeah, in- young- in my younger years we did spend time in the gazebo. And then my par- and then my parents got older than they did and couldn't [garbled] tend to the yard as well.

'''Catherine''': Well, you could've-

'''Al''': Maintenance- when you have a property, maintenance is a huge issue, so...

[garbled]

'''Catherine''': Did you step up and help them a bit [Chris speaks over Catie]

'''Chris''': I helped, I helped a bit, yeah.

'''Al''': So what did you do to help them around maintenance, around the house?

'''Chris''': Eh, I pull- [[Father Call|I pulled weeds]] and mowed some- I did mow a lo- I'd mow the lawn, I mowed the yard, yeah.

'''Al''': What's underneath here?

'''Chris''': Uh, just old furniture.

'''Al''': Furniture...

[garbled]

'''Chris''': Like I said, a lot of stuff. Eh, get rid of all this, I'm sure.

'''Al''': Yeah.

[Catie in background, indistinct]

'''Al''': Hey, uh, Chris, so what's this?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's the workshop.

'''Al''': Well, what's it say here out front?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's a memem- in memory of my father, here, that's his- it's a, it was me and Mis- me and my father's "dreaming studio"...[Al talks over Chris]

'''Al''': Hey, Catie! Come take a look at this!

'''Catherine''': What have we got here?

'''Al''': So that plaque, that little sign there on the door, who made that?

'''Chris''': He did, my father.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that's lovely!

'''Al''': So your father did?

'''Chris''': Yeah. He kep-

'''Al''': When did he make it?

'''Catherine''': Oh, it says [[1989]] [Chris chimes in: 1989] right there on the bottom.

'''Al''': Oh! So you would have been how old then?

'''Chris''': It would have been...uh, definitely seven.

'''Al''': Seven years old...so this was a workshop, you said?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So what did you and your father do here?

'''Chris''': Oh, we ended up building a few things in there.

'''Al''': What- what sort of things did you build? Do you remember?

'''Chris''': Oh, you know, wood- wood things, whatever.

'''Al''': Like carpenter stuff.

'''Chris''': Yeah, kind of.

'''Catherine''': Like cabinet- or cabinet making?

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, what, have you done anything in there since then?

'''Chris''': Ugh. Wha-Uh- um, uh, erm since uhh-fter we stopped using it we essentially been using it for storage...for...a number of our things.

'''Al''': Yeah. So how long's it been since you've used it as a workshop?

'''Chris''': Ugh, it's been like, uh...um, sometime after nine- sometime before ['92?] or after [[2000]], before we moved to Chesterfield and uh- that's his garden- his garden, though. He came back here in his la'er- in his later years within the past decade to, uh- y'know-

'''Catherine''': Ooh, more broken glass! I'm- gonna step carefully.

'''Chris''': [garbled]...yeah, they broke the glass out of the screen door, there.

'''Al''': So, wait a second, like, the glass here is falling outwards, like, did somebody break from the inside out? Or...

'''Chris''': Mm, yeah, I guess so.

'''Al''': 'Cuz like if they were outside and they broke the glass it would fall inside the building, so it-

'''Chris''': Yeah well, also, we moved things out, so we might [have] kicked some glass out here.

'''Al''': Ah.

'''Catherine''': Oh, there's [marbles?] everywhere!

'''Al''': So, when you left the house during the fire, what- where did you get out of? The front door?

'''Chris''': We went out- we went out through the front door.

'''Al''': Oh. It's good that you could get out that way, so...

'''Chris''': Yeah, he had his own little setup in there of all the, uh, little [people?] and [[Christmas]] things.

'''Al''': Ah, so your father set that up?

'''Chris''': Yeah!

'''Catherine''': Can we see?

'''Al''': Cool!

'''Chris''': He enjo- he enjoyed records.

'''Al''': Oh, jeez!

'''Catherine''': Oh, wow! That's quite- that's quite a collection!

'''Chris''': There's qui- there's quite a number of records.

'''Al''': Yeah, [such very beautiful-?]

'''Chris''': Like I say, [there's? He's too excited to hear] a real record case! Thousands of records.

'''Al''': Thousands of vinyl records.

'''Chris''': Yeah!

'''Al''': So those are all your father's?

'''Chris''': Yeah, all- they all were his.

'''Al''': So, have they just been sitting out there then, since he passed away?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Hey we got- there's- like, boxes of them more back at- between the storage unit and a few at the house we're renting.

'''Al''': So you've got a storage unit?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Does that help, to store some of your stuff?

'''Chris''': Yeah, a lot of it.

'''Al''': Yeah. Do you think you'd ever consider selling those records?

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, I belie- yeah, we're thinking about it, either donating them or selling them.

'''Catherine''': Ouch...ouch!

[Chris and Al ignore this]

'''Chris''': Selling them will be a lot better...

'''Al''': I actually- I actually collect vinyl records, Chris...

'''Chris''': Oh you do?!

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''' [noticeably thrilled]: You-ba-dee-you'll be a big help to us, Al!

'''Al''': Yeah. I-

'''Chris''': She's a lot more than heaven-sent since she brought you along, now! Haha!

'''Al''': Well, I might be willing to buy some [of] them, but it would have to be a fair price, and I- 'd be only the ones that I would want, but I might be able to help you out with some cash.

'''Chris''': I appreciate that. Thank you so much, Al!

'''Al''': Yeah, no- no problem, yeah.

'''Chris''': Hmm. Well, yeah, after we get moved back in, then we got all the boxes in- in the utility room area, which is close to that door you just passed...

'''Catherine''': Hello?

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': We'll be able to [flip them out?]

[Catie talking on the phone in the background]

'''Al''': Well, yeah, don't sell 'em to anybody else, make sure you keep 'em, let me know first before you get rid of them.

'''Chris''': Oh, I'll hafta- I'll hafta get your- get your phone number into my phone-

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': -and your address, [get yours] over there...

'''Catherine''': Al!

'''Chris''': We'll go on- we'll go over there now...

'''Al''': How m- how-

'''Catherine''': That was the mechanic, he says he's going to close up sooner- oof! Sooner than he thought he would, said he's got a family emergency. We've got to get going now, as I need my things.

'''Al''': All right, well I can just give you a ride- I can just give you a ride home, anyway if you want, so...

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Catherine Saga]]

Catie Date Conversation Transcript

2015-03-19T19:19:41Z

Gunter: /* External links */

{{Incomplete}}

The '''Catie Date Conversation Transcript''' is a recording of the one and only date which Chris and [[Catherine]] went on. It took place at [[Charlottesville]] Applebee's on 31 [[August 2014]]. Catherine's cousin Al tagged along because he needed to chauffeur Catherine, as her car was in the shop. For nearly three hours, the trio engaged in a pleasant chat which covered topics such as Chris's Cub Scouts experiences, high school bullying, his legal issues, and [[Barb]]'s teeth. Since the topic of marriage had previously been raised as a hypothetical, Chris was questioned about how, in a practical sense, he intended to juggle wife, children, mother, hoard and vidya as an ordinary family guy.
[[File:Applebees.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The setting for the fateful rendezvous.]]
==Summary==
* Chris fails to notice Catherine waving at him when he enters the restaurant, and gets seated separately.
* Chris gives Catie the "[[Three-Quarter Woman]]" CD and some artwork.
* Chris tells [[Christopher's name change|the story of why he changed his name]].
* Chris says that he got his "kilt" at Goodwill.
* Chris explains his gender to Al, stating that he's only "three-quarters woman" because he still has a [[duck]].
* Chris tells Al that he is interested in an "open relationship" with Catherine, and that they've been contemplating marriage.
* Chris says he's trying to overcome his hostility to [[homos|homosexual men]] in order to feel comfortable as a new member of the LGBT community.
* Chris struggles to explain his religious beliefs, saying that everyone believes in the same god, and that God is "neutral."
* Chris states that his [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] was caused by an extension cord looped over a door which had been abraded by the action of the door opening and closing.
* Chris also states that one of his two [[Chandler cats|cats]] died in the fire.
* Chris doesn't know if [[Bob Chandler|his father]] served in World War Two or the Korean War.
* Chris says that he was kicked out of the Cub Scouts for his failure to control his [[Chris and anger|anger]].
* He also discusses the early treatment he received for his [[autism]] while he was mute.
* Chris knows nothing about health insurance matters, or whether his wife would be covered by his plan.
* Chris demonstrates that he doesn't understand the basics of [[Spanish]] pronunciation.
* For Catherine's benefit, Chris plays up his British heritage, especially the links to royalty.
* Chris states that essentially the only time he has left his house during his entire life was [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|a weekend in 2004]].
* Chris explains how the [[trolls]] stopped him from drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. Catherine and Al try to persuade him to start it up again, but he is clearly uninterested.
* Chris brags about reading an entire [[Wikipedia]] article.
* We discover that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] is estranged from nearly her entire family.
* Chris still believes that [[Michael Snyder]] bribed the [[jerkops|police]] to have him and his mother arrested on [[28 October 2011]]. He believes he did nothing wrong, even though he has no idea what [[Rob Bell|his lawyer]]'s defense was.
* Chris is adamant that Catie move in with he and Barb after they get married. He thinks Barb can take care of any children. Her health is improving because ''he'' is happier.
* Chris voted for [[Barack Obama]] twice because he felt he could personally relate to him better than his opponents.
* He thinks the [[trolls|trolling]] started because they thought his [[Chris and art|artwork]] was "childish."
* Chris explains why he had to ride on the handicapped bus in [[Manchester High School|high school]].
* Chris believes he started playing video games on his father's Commodore 64 at six months of age.
* Chris also believes his high school [[gal-pals]] recently abandoned him because the trolls told them he was [[homos|gay]].
* Al tells Chris he'll have to shape up if he wants to marry Catie.

==Video==

==Transcript==

===It begins===

[Part 1 00:00]

'''Chris''': Catherine!

'''Catherine''': Hi! Hi sweetheart, we're sitting over here. [garbled]

'''Chris''': Oh, I'm sorry.

'''Catherine''': I’m sorry, we’re sitting back here. Sorry, I thought you saw me and ran off [garbled]. Why did you sit down over here?

'''Chris''': I’m sorry, well, um…

'''Catherine''': This is my cousin Al.

'''Al''': Yeah, Catie, uh, her car was in the garage so I gave her a ride, so, yeah.

'''Catherine''': Come sit down.

'''Chris''': You got here ear-, I thought you were going to get here, like, ten minutes…

'''Catherine''': We thought so too, but we ended up spending less time at the mechanic’s than we thought. We have to drop my car off, so he's my lift.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': It’s nice to finally meet you.

'''Chris''': You’re here!

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yup, I’m here.

'''Chris''': I’m so glad.

'''Catherine''': I’m glad to meet you as well. I like your earrings, they’re very pretty.

'''Chris''': Thank you. I like your earrings too.

'''Catherine''': Oh thank you. [garbled] How have you been?

'''Chris''': I’ve been doing very well, thank you.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, we got here a little earlier than I thought.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': You’re acting [garbled]

'''Al''': Oh yeah, I’m fine. Yeah, I haven’t eaten anything all day, so I’m just, yeah.
[[File:Chris Chan CD discovery.png|thumb|right|The mix CD.]]
'''Catherine''': Sorry, we didn’t get you anything to drink, because we didn't know what you would be drinking.

'''Chris''': This is for you.

'''Catherine''': Is this what…? Oh my goodness, this is amazing. He, He’s made me a [[Three-Quarter Woman|mix CD]].

'''Chris''': Yeah, and there’s a story that goes with it, plus the printout about the details of your birthday. And the two drawings I drew for you so far.

'''Catherine''': That’s so amazing. Nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before. I’ll put it in my purse, so it doesn’t get hurt on the table.

'''Chris''': Well I think this date’s going pretty good so far.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I should hope so.

'''Chris''': (to Al) Oh I’m sorry, what was your name again?

'''Al''': Oh, I’m Al.

'''Chris''': Al. It’s nice to meet you.

'''Al''': You can call me Big Al, but, yeah.

'''Chris''': OK. Well, I say for us you’re a lifesaver for bringing her here.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''' (to waitress): Yeah bring me a sweet tea, and do y’all have cream here?

Waitress: We have half and half, and one percent milk.

'''Chris''': Yeah, half and half. Yeah, and bring me some half and half cream please.

Waitress: With uh, I’m sorry, what did you want to drink?

'''Chris''': Just sweet tea.

'''Catherine''': Can we do two separate checks please?

[mumbling]

'''Chris''': Yeah OK, well that’s fine, I mean...

'''Catherine''': Sorry, we did, I thought we agreed…

'''Chris''': Yeah, we did agree, yeah.

'''Catherine''': OK.

'''Chris''': I just…

'''Catherine''': I’m just making sure, I don't want to upset you.

'''Chris''': Yeah, no upset, no upset.

===Introductions===

'''Al''': So, Chris, is your name Christian or is it Christopher…?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, my legal name now is Christian, but I was born Christopher. Yeah, I had, yeah, there’s a [[Christopher's name change|fun story behind that name change]]. There was a bear band over at, uh, Regency Square in [[Chesterfield County]]. Shopping center? Yeah, it was kind of about when I was ten or eleven. We went over there, my mom, my family and I did, and uh, the guy behind the bear was English, so when I told him my name was Christopher, his, he misunderstood and he called me Christian.

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Chris''': Yes it did.

'''Al''': Cool. So that was it? You just changed your name all like that?

'''Chris''': Well, yeah but, yeah, but yeah, we changed my name and then had legally changed after we moved to [[Richmond]], for prob, for probably middle school and education and all that. Yeah.

'''Al''': So have you ever lived anywhere outside of [[Virginia]] then, or…?

'''Chris''': No. Uh, no I did uh, go to, my mom and I, we went to California one time to see my half-brother [[Joseph Cole Smithey]]. And actually, you know what, without the glasses, you look remarkably like him. He has videos on line.

'''Al''': Really?

'''Chris''': Yeah, he’s a movie critic. He has a website, ColeSmithey.com.

'''Al''': Cool.

'''Catherine''': I nearly brought it up, I'd kind of forgotten about it. [garbled]

'''Al''': OK. You seem like you have pretty important family. It’s something you should be proud of.

'''Chris''': Yeah, well, [[Bob Chandler|my father]] was a retired engineer from General Electric. He designed the controls for quasi motor machines, steel mills and all that. So without him, you wouldn’t have these plastic glasses.

'''Catherine''': I think they’re glass.

'''Chris''': Oh. Well, I’m sorry…

'''Al''': Like Plexiglass, I don’t know, so…

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I’m not a glass expert.

'''Chris''': Well anyway, he helped in the progress of that. That’s pretty much all that matters there.

'''Al''': But you like, uh, of all the places you’ve been, you like Virginia the best then, or…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, pretty much, uh, I mean, yeah, I like Virginia very well. It’s my home state and everything but I’m very much looking to travel with Catherine.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I thought it would be…Yeah, if I had the money I’d be, I’d be really excited to travel like that. If my gig at the library fell through, I’m back to uh, I’m back to square one again, I guess.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Well, I’m sure, uh, you know, you hang out, stick with, stick with me, kid, we’ll get you a gig [pronounced “jig”] at a library yet.

'''Al''': Yep. So Chris, do you eat here a lot, or…?

'''Chris''': Um, not, [[List of restaurants|not very often, sometimes]].

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I mean, I’ve been to Applebee's before, but this is… I’ve been here ages ago with a friend of mine, that's how I knew it existed, that’s why I suggested it. I haven’t been here in a really long time.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Uh, I try to remember what it was I usually like to get, the one that comes with the spinach-mushroom cap.

[phone vibrates]

'''Al''': Eh. You know what, I’m on a diet, but I’m just thinking like, fuck it, you know, gonna eat what I want, so…

'''Catherine''': Mind your language.

'''Al''': Oh….

'''Chris''': It’s okay, it’s okay around me.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': We’re trying to get back down to uh, the original way, so…

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': “Trying” being the key word, I think.

'''Chris''': That’s reasonable.

'''Al''': I’m just pretty outspoken, Chris, I speak my mind, you know, so…

'''Chris''': That’s fine.

[The waitress comes. Phone vibrates again.]

'''Chris''': You have a straw for me there? Thank you. [To his date:] You know, lately when I’ve been drinking sweet tea from [[McDonald's|McDonald’s]], and gettin’ the half and half in there, I feel uh, my leg[?], uh, I feel the taste of it going down, you know, I think of, I wr, I sr, I think of you and...

'''Al''': If you want to order you can go ahead, I’m still looking for the moment, so...

'''Catherine''': Can I get the turkey bacon and avocado sandwich please?

Waitress: [?]
[[File:Classic Clubhouse Grille.jpg|thumb|right|The Clubhouse Grille. 1120 calories.]]
'''Catherine''': I feel weird ordering alone.

'''Chris''': That’s OK. Yeah I guess I’ll have the Clubhouse Grille.

'''Al''': You know what? Um…[Laughs] I think, um, do you have any appetizers or anything?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, look at the front of the menu, there’s appetizers. Oh, and anything with an apple beside it, that’s healthy good.

'''Al''': Let’s just get, let’s get the appetizer, uh, sampler. Sure.

'''Chris''': Sounds like a good idea.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': If you don’t know what you want, sampler’s always good.

'''Al''': Yup.

Waitress: And would you like your wings mild, barbeque, sweet and spicy, or hot?

'''Catherine''': [?]…so whatever you guys want is fine with me.

'''Al''': Um…What were the options again ma’am?

Waitress: Mild wings, barbequed, sweet and spicy, or hot.

'''Al''': Barbeque.

'''Catherine''': At least you get a little bit [?]

'''Al''': No, no, [mumbling between Al and Catherine]

'''Chris''': Anyway, yeah, my van’s good to go, so I can drive you anywhere as well.

'''Catherine''': Hopefully [?] because it was a long drive. [?] The check engine light came on; it could be anything.

'''Chris''': Yeah, it could be anything. I’ve had that happen before a number of times.

===Understanding the whole tomgirl thing===

'''Catherine''': I see you wore your, um, [[tomgirl]] best today.

'''Chris''': My best? Yes. Kilt.

'''Catherine''': Oh yeah. Yeah, you are wearing a kilt.

'''Chris''': Or at least kilt-patterned. It was the only thing I could find at the [[Chris and fashion|Goodwill]] there, that fit, that fit me. I think there was anudder one, but I think it was like, smaller.

'''Catherine''': Yeah. [garbled] limited sizes.

'''Al''': Chris, I’m not trying to be offensive or nothin’, but what’s, what’s this whole “tomgirl” thing? I just, I just don’t understand.

'''Chris''': Oh, it’s essentially where I’m uh, it’s like tomboy, where women are interested in boys’ things and high activity, I’m in, I’m into more feminine things.

'''Al''': So, you’re like a cross-dresser then, or…?

'''Chris''': Yes, I’m, yes, you can call me a tranny. I accepted that. [[Homos#Chris and transgender topics|Lesbian tomgirl transgender may-ul]]. So I’m three-quarters woman.

'''Al''': OK.

'''Chris''': The only difference is the, uh, is [[duck|the body]]. Heh. [Chuckles]

'''Al''': Yeah. You certainly have a unique fashion sense, I’ll say that. So.

'''Catherine''': It is fairly unique.

'''Chris''': Fairly unique, but I’m sure I could be shapened up a little more sophisticated or whatever.

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Chris''': Yeah, I think so.

'''Al''': I dunno, I’m not in transsexual, tomgirl, tomboy, I just, yeah, I’m not into any of that, so I just didn’t know, so…

'''Chris''': That’s OK.

'''Al''': I’m just curious. So.

'''Chris''': I’m guessing you, you have your own girlfriend then, huh?

'''Catherine''': He's between girlfriends.

'''Al''': Yeah, at the moment, yeah, I’m between girlfriends.

'''Chris''': Well, don’t, if you don’t break one’s heart, uh, you gotta make sure you pick the one that makes you feel more happy.

'''Al''': I, I prefer not to get tied down. I just go from girl to girl really, so…

'''Chris''': Eh. Oh boy, regular heartbreaker here. Heh heh.

'''Al''': Yeah, well, what can I say.

'''Chris''': Regular heartbreaker on the road, driving the [[Wikipedia:The Dukes of Hazzard|General Lee]]. Huh huh.

'''Al''': Shit. No, I try not to be too mean about it, you know, I just…

'''Chris''': Well, that’s OK, we’re all reas-, we’re all reasonable adults.

'''Al''': I just prefer, I just prefer not to get tied down, you know? It’s like, hey, if I’m with a girl, you know, somebody cuter comes along, not serious, you know what I mean? So…

'''Chris''': OK. Well, as long as you make it clear that it’s not serious.

'''Al''': Yeah, I do. I do.

'''Chris''': OK, well that’s good.

'''Catherine''': I’d hate to be treated like that. [?]

'''Al''': Golden Rule, you know? Treat other people like you like to be treated. So.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that as well. I like to be…

'''Catherine''': It’s the Golden Rule, do unto others.

'''Chris''': [[Chris and hypocrisy|Do unto others as you would have done unto you]].

'''Catherine''': You know it!

'''Chris''': Yes I do.

===The relationship and its future===

'''Al''': So Catie, how did, how did you and Chris meet?

'''Catherine''': Oh that’s right, I haven’t told you yet. Um, we met on a dating site.

'''Chris''': [[OKCupid]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah, OKCupid, we met. Actually it was while I was overseas.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': While I was at [?].

'''Al''': So you move, so you get around a lot, so the online dating thing, it usually works for you as far as…

'''Catherine''': Yeah, well, it sort of did after, well, after I moved to [?] I didn’t know anybody.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So. Well I knew the roommates, but that doesn’t really count. So. It was just sort of [?] and then you got in touch with me again when I was overseas.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Catherine''': You said you were scared of [responding?]

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, because of the internet [[trolls]] and cyber-bullies. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with them. Eh, I don’t want to get into that too much right now.

'''Al''': Fair enough.

'''Chris''': You know, I responded to her, and she responded very kindly, and we kind of got to know each other. Hooked [pronounced hook-ed] up very well, hooked up emotionally and everything, right?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, for the last few weeks, and we’re finally getting to meet.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': You seemed pretty excited about it; you said you were hopping all over your house.

'''Chris''': [Laughs] Not all over, I did jump, I did jump up and down.

'''Catherine''': Yeah? Were you really excited about it?

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Catherine''': Were you really concerned I wouldn’t be here?

'''Chris''': Yes, I was concerned at points, but I try to keep pos-, I try to be optimistic. I mean this thing has been so real so far.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': [[Love Quest|It all comes to fruition]].

'''Catherine''': I’m real, so…

'''Chris''': And I’m real too.

'''Catherine''': So it all works out.

'''Chris''': Yes it does.

'''Al''': Yep. So what, what are your goals, plans, whatever? You guys gonna get married or what?

'''Chris''': Well, we might.

'''Catherine''': We might do one day. It’s going pretty well so far, so...

'''Chris''': Yeah, I think, I’m thinking we would probably be together more often, I hope.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I mean, you were talking about wanting to get married too, so…

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Catherine''': You said you wanted to be in the next five years or so.

'''Chris''': Yeah, within the next five years. I mean, that, but that’s up to you, though, when you, when you feel ready to get married, I’ll be, I’ll be there by your side, at the chapel. Heh heh!

'''Catherine''': I should hope so.

'''Chris''': Me too.

'''Catherine''': Well you said, I want my marriage to be forever.

'''Chris''': Yes, me too, I want permanent thing as well. And you know I am, and I’m still full supportive of who you are as well. Remember?
[[File:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|right|Chris is interested in an open relationship.]]
'''Catherine''': Yeah, the um…

'''Chris''': Open relationship.

'''Al''': So you got open relationship?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, I, yeah, I fully support her, you know, you know, as a bi, I’m sure.

'''Al''': So, you’re OK with her being with other women?

'''Chris''': Yeah. If that… I have other ideas…

'''Al''': Does that include other men too?

'''Chris''': Um, well, optionally for her, uh, but, for me I would, I would definitely, I would, if I felt up to it it would be with anudder woman definitely. But, she’s expressed her interest in other women as well. I mean, I don’t want to go too much into that, it sounds a little bit embarrassing.

'''Al''': Chris, Chris, you love her, right?

'''Chris''': Yes I do, I care about her.

'''Al''': So, why would you be OK with her having sex with other men?

'''Chris''': Well…

'''Al''': I mean, that’s a fair question.

'''Chris''': It’s a fair question, yes. It’s more like, uh, if I can’t satisfy her, if she feels lack of satisfaction, I’m, I made it very clear for her that our relationship would be honest and loyal to each other, so, as long as she, as long as she lets me know that she f-, if she feels like she needs to see somebody else, then that’s fine. I’ll let her go and uh…

'''Al''': So sort of like an open marriage thing where each of you can see other people?

'''Chris''': Mm. Well, we’re not gonna marry other people…

'''Catherine''': Oh no…

'''Al''': So just like, see other people.

'''Chris''': Yeah, just like see other people. It’s like to take a break from each other as well. Because I’ve, I’ve learned a lot from a lot of [[Chris and television|television]] about how, where marriages end up bad, because one cheats on the other? Yeah, but this way it’s an open relationship, so we’re being honest with each other, and I just f-, I’ve come to terms with that being a part of a hap, of a, of a healthier relationship. I mean, you know, even modernly, sometimes the couples, the married couples will sleep in separate rooms if they felt need to.

'''Al''': Sleep in separate rooms? Like after a fight or something, maybe, or…?

[PART 2 00:15]

'''Chris''': It’s like, they don’t, one doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping right next to the other, so they end up with separate rooms, but they still love each other and care f’ each other. In fact, it broadens the relationship better that way. It’s healthier. It gives, it gives them more room to breathe.

'''Al''': So that, have you had relationships like that then where you’ve been…

'''Chris''': Um, no I haven’t, well, I haven’t had too many relationships, really. Um. But yeah, there was uh, one where sh-, where one, where one, there was [[Megan|one girl]] who definitely, definitely wanted me to keep my distance from her. She thought I was getting too close to her. [sigh] And that’s where I learned how to restrain, to keep my hands to myself for a while. That…

'''Catherine''': I suppose you feel very strongly about [[Women's rights|respecting a woman’s boundaries]].

'''Chris''': Oh yes, I do. I mean, I was kind of, I was just so excited, mm, to see you and everything…I was just, I just jumped up and hugged you like I did there.

'''Catherine''': I tried, I tried to wave to you in the entrance [?]

'''Chris''': Oh I’m sorry, I was, um, that’s part of my, where my eyes wander in other directions, that’s the [[autism]]. Autistic people typically tend to have trouble making eye contact. Eh, but or me, it’s kind of like, yeah, I have to, my eyes wander and then I have to regain my grounds in my head and, you know, just try to reestablish eye contact as quickly as possible.

===Autism, LGBT, and God===

'''Al''': Yeah. So you’re autistic then?

'''Chris''': High functioning autistic. Yeah.

'''Al''': So what’s, what’s that like, you have trouble making eye contact?

'''Chris''': Well that’s one thing. It’s also with uh, [[CWC-isms|communication skills]]. I did a whole [[LittleBigPlanet]] seven-part, well six-part plus bonus, [[Autism Tutorial|animation talk about autism]] and my perspective, so…

'''Al''': What? I don’t even know what that is.

'''Chris''': LittleBigPlanet, it’s a [[PlayStation 3]] game.

'''Al''': Oh.

'''Chris''': And then there’s LittleBigPlanet 2 which that’s, where it gets, it gets more into you’re able to animate. Yeah, you create your own custom levels and, within them, in LittleBigPlanet 2 and so on, you get to create your own mini-movies.

'''Al''': So it’s like a video game then.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': OK. Cool.

'''Chris''': And then, and then you upload them to the, uh, internet, from the PlayStation Network you can also pretty much videotape record them.

'''Catherine''': Sorry, my hair is…

'''Al''': Oh yeah, no problem.

'''Chris''': That’s OK.

'''Catherine''': I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…

'''Chris''': I w-, I wanted to tell ya, I wanted to tell you this in person but, I really love your, I really like your red hair, the way it is.

'''Catherine''': Thank you.

'''Chris''': It makes, it makes me think of strawberry jam. It makes me wanna jam.

'''Catherine''': I’ve never heard that one before. That’s an interesting descriptor. I’ve never actually considered that one before.

'''Al''': Yeah. Well you’re wearing a red shirt, so at least your shirt and hair match…

'''Chris''': Yeah, I like, I like wearing, [[Chris and fashion|I like wearing bold colors]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, that’s pretty much where I’m trying to reestablish, being more comfortable being LGBT—Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans. And wh, their pride parades and everything.

'''Al''': You said now that you’re more comfortable, so is that like a recent thing with you?

'''Chris''': Yeah, it came, yeah, I pr-, yeah I became, I became more comfortable with it recently being part of it, and let my, and let myself become part of it and supporting the equal rights, equal rights. I signed up with the [[Wikipedia:Human Rights Campaign|Human Rights Campaign]], and bought a few things off their store.

'''Catherine''': You said, oh I didn’t know you actually bought something.

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, pur-, yeah, purchased them, purchased them like, um, I think, sometime between last Thursday or Saturday. It takes about, it takes about up to ten days, uh…

'''Catherine''': OK.

'''Chris''': I feel like I’ll get back to them maybe early next week.

'''Catherine''': [?] when I was traveling then.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': I picked a lovely, yeah, I picked out a lovely shirt for you too. I showed you a picture?

'''Catherine''': You did. I hope it fits.

'''Chris''': I hope it fits too, you know, it’s XL versus two [F’s?]. That’s uh, one X. Heh. I saw the number and, I saw the two X and I thought and remembering it later one S [X?]. It turns out that’s XL. I hope it does fit.

'''Catherine''': It probably will.

'''Al''': So you said the LBGT, what is it, LGBT?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, LGBT.

'''Al''': LGB, whatever.

'''Catherine''': Lesbian, gay, trans…

'''Al''': Lesbian, gay, trans, yeah OK. So you said that’s just something you’ve became comfortable with? So were…?

'''Chris''': Become, become comfortable being part of. Yeah, I had, I pretty much had my mental backdrops with uh, the [[homos|homosexual males]], especially. Especially since the majority of the trolls and cyber-bullies were homosexual men.

'''Al''': So basically these gay guys were all bullying you, or…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, a lot of them were bullying me, pestering me, sending me these [[Masturbating and squirtin'|lewd…images]], imagery, and...

'''Catherine''': [?] getting a lot of that.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I mean you mentioned it, but you didn’t really talk with me about that.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I haven’t really gone to, into depth about all of that, but…

'''Catherine''': I figured there was somebody in Ohio talking about, the other day.

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, that was like, uh, essentially somebody in, that’s the [[Chris and religion|higher force]] about, uh, yeah everybody, everybody has names for god, Emanuel, Buddah, whatever. But essentially it’s the one same elemental force, probably that guy up in the stars that Matt Groening best describes as that star cluster in [[Futurama]] that Bender talks to.

'''Al''': What guy?

'''Chris''': Heh. Yeah. “Are you God?” “Possibly. I go by many names.”

'''Al''': So you’re saying something about Ohio? God lives in Ohio then?

'''Chris''': No no no, higher force.

'''Al''': Oh.

'''Chris''': [Ali Baba?] is like in the stars, so that’s why, that’s pretty much what I consider we call “neutrally” as. Like, like, like yeah, I guess it’s the one, you know, I guess God would definitely be more neutral and more accepting since everybody knows that word.

'''Al''': Well.

'''Chris''': I even made like a bit about that when I got, when I’m watching this, I let all the uh, bullies and trolls at one point. I talked about the higher force and messing with our heads and, I did bring up that he is, that that is God essentially, I would think. I mean, I, I mean, somebody who looks like, I mean, people portray God as like being human, pretty much. But then, there’s that joke in that episode of [[South Park]], the Millennium episode where the man looked like this cluster of animals. He had a [[HippoOnYourHead|hippopotamus head]]! But yeah I…

'''Al''': You watch South Park?

'''Catherine''': You watch a lot of television, though, don’t you?

'''Chris''': Yeah. [[Chris and television|“TV! We talk TV! Do you talk some TV?”]] Heh heh.

'''Catherine''': I don’t know what that’s from.

'''Chris''': Oh that’s from the [[Transformers]] movie. The original animated.

'''Catherine''': I haven’t seen it.

'''Al''': You sound like you’re a big film and cinema and TV fan.

'''Chris''': Oh yeah. My fam, my family raised me on [[Chris and music|music]] and [[Mary Poppins|musicals]] and television and whatnot, so, and then pretty much, uh, I was inside a lot and by myself, uh, I really wasn’t as sociable as I’ve grown up to be much more better at.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, so I pretty much had time for watching movies and television.

===The house fire===

'''Catherine''': Oh, I did mean to ask, how is your uh, I remember you were having some trouble with your landlord in the [[Rental House|rental house]].

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, my, Debbie our uh, Debbie our uh…

'''Catherine''': How’d that go for you? Did you manage to get all that figured out?

'''Chris''': Claims, yeah our claims agent made the call. Yeah we got our lease extended until the end of November.

'''Catherine''': Oh you got that in stone now then?

'''Chris''': Yes, we’re good.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that’s good.

'''Chris''': And also they’re gonna start working on the renovation of [[14 Branchland Court|our house]], uh…

'''Al''': Are you guys like remodeling then or something?

'''Chris''': Oh no, we had a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] last January.

'''Al''': That sucks, man, hey, I’m sorry to hear, dude.

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Al''': That sucks.

'''Chris''': Thank you, Al.

'''Al''': No problem, man. But what, what happened with the fire?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, we…

[the food arrives]

'''Al''': Oh boy! [laughs]

'''Chris''': Wow, now that’s a sampler!

'''Al''': That’s what I call a, you want anything, Chris, or…?

'''Chris''': Well, we’ll see how I feel after I have my sandwich.

'''Catherine''': Thank you very much.

'''Al''': Yeah, no problem. Wow.

Waitress: [?]

'''Chris''': I think we’ll be OK.

'''Catherine''': Alright, thank you very much.

'''Chris''': You want ketchup for your fries?

'''Catherine''': Um, yes please, I’ll [?] some later. I’ll be alright.

'''Chris''': I’ll just put it back here then. Uh, so anyway, the house fire, it was electrical. We had just, I had just plugged in a coffee brewer, Kruger, Keurig brand? Yeah. Yeah anyway, the extension, there was one plugged in extension cord that was going into the bathroom, the [paper?] was outside on the top of the, top of the dresser in the hallway. Pretty much the way the situation was, was it was in there, the door to the bathroom was j-, was kept open? So I, and uh, cord was shorter than I thought and I ended up having to loop it over the door, and that part just where, it’s hard to get up to where finally get there, it starts, and that’s pretty much how the fire started on the top.

'''Catherine''': You never told me why you had a coffee maker [?] in the bathroom

'''Chris''': Oh, yeah, No, no, it’s not in the bathroom, it’s out-, it was outside the bathroom.

'''Catherine''': Oh.

'''Chris''': Anyway, that’s how the fire started, and we all got out safe.

'''Catherine''': That seems like a really odd place for a coffee maker.

'''Al''': Yeah I always put the coffee maker in the kitchen or something.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Well, we do have a coffee, we do have another coffee maker now and that’s in the kitchen. [?] it as well.

'''Catherine''': I mean [?] aren’t designed to do that.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Well anyway, we all got out safe ‘cept for one of our two [[Chandler Cats|cats]], which that was a shame. We buried that cat in the backyard, uh, after the cleaners found it.

'''Al''': So you’re cat died then? Or one of them?

'''Chris''': Yeah, one cat. We have another, we have, the other cat was safe. She got out safe. Both of our dogs. We have beagles. Purebred beagles. Their names are [[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy and Clover]]. Yeah, you know…

'''Catherine''': Did you adopt them from the shelter?

'''Chris''': Oh no, we went way out of our way to another part of Virginia to pretty much go to this puppy farm. Yeah. [baby voice] There were like three little beagles and they were all so cute!

'''Catherine''': A puppy farm’s not good then.

'''Chris''': Uh well…

'''Catherine''': Don’t they just like breed them in boxes?

'''Chris''': Um, no, they were, they were let out a lot of…Yeah, they had them out-, they had the three remaining puppies outside in a small wire gate. They were just [] little puppies, but I’m sure, I’m sure it’s [?]

'''Catherine''': I always heard that puppy farms were bad [?] all the time and [?] I’ve heard, it’s possible that I’m wrong, but I’ve heard that …

'''Al''': You went to a puppy farm? Where it’s just that grow puppies to sell them or something?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, like that.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about it.

'''Chris''': Yeah well OK well, I know a little, a little about puppy farms, especially also [case?], that’s where Snoopy came from, the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm. Uh, not our Snoopy, Peanuts’ Snoopy.

'''Catherine''': My parents, they got a dog called Snoopy.

'''Chris''': Yeah, and then, I’ll tell you a story behind Clover. There was, in generation two, of [[My Little Pony]], of My Little Pony Tales, there was a pony named Clover. I pretty much liked her among the main cast during that, during that season. I felt like I could relate to her, so…plus also…

[clapping in the background]

'''Chris''': Yeah, somebody’s having a birthday.

'''Al''': Yeah, I’d say that.

[birthday noise continues]

'''Al''': So Chris, you’re saying that your house fire got started by some appliance, that Keurig…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, the Keurig coffee brewer was plugged into the extension cord plugged into the bathroom wall, and the fire happened at the arch where it was over the door frame, with the door.

'''Al''': Oh, I was gonna say, if it was the, the coffee maker, I would have sued the hell out of them, those bastards.

'''Chris''': Yeah, but, yeah but we thought for, for a while that’s what we’d sue the coffee brewer, but the… Unfortunately, it turned out to be the extension cord after the fire inspector confirmed that.

'''Al''': Oh.

'''Chris''': My uncle, my uncle [[Minor Family Members|Tom Ashby]], who married my, uh, aunt who was actually, uh, my blood aunt, uh, so you know, uncle through [?], but anyway, Tom Ashby is a retired fire inspector. And they live over in Chesterfield County now. They recently moved out of the house, moved into like a condominium.

'''Catherine''': But why was [?]? Your coffee maker was plugged into the extension cord [?]

'''Chris''': Uh, we didn’t have one that was closer.

'''Catherine''': Closer?

'''Al''': Well maybe how…

'''Catherine''': [?] house?

'''Al''': When was your house built? Do you know?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh] It was built before I was born, so, before my parents got married, so before 1980.

'''Al''': So I’m saying a lot of those older houses, there’s not enough exten-, like, outlets, so they gotta run extension cords to get to places. Was that it, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, pretty much. Of course also, the nearest [?] socket that we had was behind a really big, where the coffee maker was, the closest one there was behind a really big dresser. And the house was cluttered, it had lots of stuff. [[Bob Chandler|My father]], as old as he was, he died September of 2011, two midnights and a quarter hour later, after he turned 84.

'''Al''': Uh huh.

'''Chris''': He had heart problems.

'''Al''': That must have sucked.

'''Chris''': Yeah. And we still had all these narrow hallways, everything was cluttered. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] made uh, has impulsive issues, goes to Goodwill sometimes and didn’t tell [?] either, but you know, that is like, God is telling us, “Hey Barbara,” – that’s my mother’s name, Barbara—“Uh, hey Barbara, I’ll make it easier for ya. There you go –fire, get out of the house. You go save what you are able to and I’ll take care of…”

'''Al''': Wait, who said that?

'''Chris''': Uh, my mom, my mom came up with this, it’s like, God was telling her, “Hey Barbara, I’ll make it easy for ya.” Yeah, cause she was concerned about all the clutter as well and didn’t know where to put it.

'''Catherine''': Is that, is that how she’s coping?

'''Chris''': Uh, that’s one way she’s coping. She’s coping in a lot of ways in her head. She’s, I mean, she can tell you a lot, a lot of stories and interesting facts.

'''Al''': So your mother thinks that God was telling her to move out of the house? So he, God burnt it then? Is that what she believed, or…?

'''Chris''': That’s, that’s, that’s one idea she has. Another theory that my mother ha-, another belief my mother has about God is that uh, the energy inside us is God. So it’s like, you know, millions of gods around the world.

'''Al''': So you, you believe in some sort of higher being then. So your mother, so are you a pretty religious guy, or…?

'''Chris''': Well I, uh, I'm fairly religious. I just, uh, I just, I just take all the good about from, I learn at least a little bit about every aspect of religion.

[PART 3 00:30]

'''Chris''': And uh, just, and I took it, and then my father said, “Everyone believes in the same God.” So, I was thinking to live with that and I leave it with you know, the one higher force and just…

'''Catherine''': Your dad said that?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Everybody…

'''Catherine''': Other people believe in different gods.

'''Chris''': Yeah well it’s, yeah, but it’s essentially the one same god.

'''Al''': So you’re saying it’s like different versions of the same god, different incarnations of the same god?

'''Chris''': Yeah, pretty m-, yeah, let’s go with that, yeah.

'''Catherine''': Fair enough.

===Bob and Chris's early years===
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|right|The Nazis advance on Seoul, 1942.]]
'''Al''': [[Bob Chandler|Your father]] sounds like a very worldly man. Did he travel a lot?

'''Chris''': Mm. [Chris is eating.] That’s a tasty sandwich. Yes he, he has travelled the world some. He was stationed in [[honor roll|Seoul, Korea during World War…Two]], in the Signal Corps.

'''Al''': World War Two?

'''Chris''': Well, civil, [stumbles and slurs]

'''Al''': The Korean War happened after World War Two.

'''Chris''': OK, maybe the Korean War, I don’t know. Anyway, he was, but anyway, he was stationed in Seoul, Korea.

'''Al''': And what did he do in the army?

'''Chris''': He was, he was in the Signal Corps. He uh, helped maintain the satellite feeds and uh, all the mechanics over there.

'''Al''': Like the communications and stuff like that.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Al''': So how long was he in the army? When did he get out?

'''Chris''': Uh. [sigh] I’m not sure I remember. I have in a keepsake box he kept some of his, he kept his Boy Scout badges that he earned. I’m not sure from when he was, from when he was a boy, or… He was a Scout troop leader at one point in his life. His Scout, his Scout troop, his group, his Scout troop made a wallet for him. And he wanted to be sh-, he wanted to be, he wanted to be buried with that wallet but he wasn’t really buried. He’s in a mausoleum up on the uh, Monticello Memory Gardens, up on the hill on the way up to the Monticello.

'''Catherine''': Were you um, were you ever in the Boy Scouts? I know…

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, I was in the [[List of places that have banned Chris#The Cub Scouts|Wolf Cub Scouts]] uh, for a while in my life but they booted me out.

'''Catherine''': For what would they do that?

'''Chris''': I think it’s probably something from my autism, when I was being, I was being, like I was being, I was being [[Chris and anger|outbursting and loud for something]], or misbehave-, I don’t remember.

'''Catherine''': So they kicked you out because you’re autistic?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I think so.

'''Catherine''': Did you, did you ever get in touch with them? That’s illegal.

'''Chris''': No, uh, I don’t even remember who the Scout troop leader was.

'''Catherine''': I don’t suppose that matters, does it. You can actually sue…

'''Chris''': Yeah, it was, yeah, it was like, I was like five, six, seven.

'''Catherine''': Five, six, so that would be twenty-five years ago?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I suppose the statutes have passed with that.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': I'da said today that would be illegal. You could sue ‘em, get a lot of money.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Well.

'''Catherine''': For that sort of thing.

'''Chris''': Well, I might, I don’t know, if I remember it.

'''Catherine''': Well I don’t, I don’t expect you can any more. The statute of limitations would be…

'''Chris''': Yeah, I, too much, too much time has gone by. I wouldn’t even worry about it.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s sad. Was your, was your dad upset?

'''Chris''': Um…

'''Catherine''': I expect if he was a scoutmaster,that he would've been…

'''Chris''': I think my, I think both my parents were upset. Uh, they were quite upset when the, uh, disputes with [[Greene County Conspiracy|Greene County]] with the uh, yeah, the way they received my reactions in the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|fourth grade]] I was in, pinned me down on the floor and they wanted to record my screams. That was abuse right there. But anyway…

'''Catherine''': What happened?

'''Chris''': Eh, Teachers and counselors, they pinned me down quote-unquote, they wanted to audio record my screaming.

'''Catherine''': For what??

'''Chris''': [stress sigh] I don’t know. That was, eh…

'''Catherine''': Where was that?

'''Chris''': That was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]], in…

'''Catherine''': The fourth grade?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': You would have been, you would have been nine?

'''Chris''': Yeah, uh, I guess, I don’t know. I don’t remember, it was so long ago.

'''Catherine''': What made that happen?

'''Chris''': Uh, I don’t remember. I think they, the t-, yeah, from what they, my parents told me they, the tea-, they did not understand children with autism, way back then either.

'''Al''': Well that was a long time ago.

'''Chris''': Yeah, but anyway, they wanted to put me in a mental institution but between court settlements my family decided to move, that’s why they moved to Chesterfield County in ’92.

'''Catherine''': To get away from that?

'''Chris''': Yeah, plus...

'''Catherine''': Did they have a good autism program?

'''Chris''': Yeah, and a better education, between [[Chris's education#Providence Middle School|Providence Middle]] and [[Manchester High]].

'''Catherine''': So did that have... I don't think I ever asked. Did they have like, um, special education or an autism program?

'''Chris''': Uh, I was pretty much mainstreamed.

'''Catherine''': So you didn’t have any extra…classes?

'''Chris''': No, actually, I have uh, no, not, no, no extra classes, uh, well, unless you want to count coping skills.

'''Catherine''': I suppose.

'''Chris''': That’s kind of a [[Chris and psychology|special ed class]].

'''Catherine''': I suppose that’s really…

'''Al''': So did you have any like special counselors or anybody who could help you in high school?

'''Chris''': Um…

'''Al''': Anyone special that you saw?

'''Chris''': Uh…

'''Catherine''': Anyone specialised with kids or any-

'''Chris''': They um, I believe they offered them to me, but I don’t think I ever really sought counseling like that, that much. I mean I probably did, but…

'''Catherine''': Well if it was available to you, it was your right to use it whenever you liked.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

===Metabolism and long distance relationships===

[waitress shows up]

'''Catherine''': Sorry didn’t mean to stop you.

'''Al''': Yeah no problem. The food is great.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Your sandwich good?

'''Chris''': Yes, the taste of it, of this so far... It is good.

'''Catherine''': Just nibbling.

'''Chris''': Yeah, me too. Just nibbling.

'''Catherine''': Are you nervous?

'''Chris''': Uh, a little bit. I, I g-, I’m a bit of a soda jerk, I drink a lot of soda throughout my life, so I got a shaky leg also.

'''Catherine''': Oh.

'''Chris''': That’s one thing my mother complains about, when it shakes the house also.

'''Catherine''': Your shaky leg shakes the whole house?

'''Chris''': Well, when I’m standing, uh, not as much when I’m sitting down.

'''Catherine''': Is that like your old house or your rental house?

'''Chris''': Uh, well, everywhere. It’s just whenever, I mean, I’m shaking right now here.

'''Al''': So it’s, you’re just like, your leg fidgets a little bit, shakes like that?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': That’s actually, with people who fidget like that, they burn more calories. So that’s like, a forty percent less chance of them becoming obese as they get older.

'''Catherine''': Well I did not know that.

'''Chris''': Me neither.

'''Al''': This means you have a high metabolism. It’s good.

'''Chris''': That’s very good.

'''Al''': Yep.

'''Catherine''': Well now I feel weird because I don't [? - relating to not fidgeting]

'''Chris''': Mm. Well don’t worry about it.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Maybe live with me long enough, you’ll pick up on the habit. Huh! Just kidding.

'''Catherine''': I don’t know about living together.

'''Chris''': Well…

'''Catherine''': It’s like I said my dad’s very traditional.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Well that’s another thing, another obstacle to relations, sometimes if you travel a lot, so there’s long distance so you can’t see each other, that’s the challenge, so.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, that hurt. But I mean, I told you that I have long distance before and it did work.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': It takes effort.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': It takes a lot of effort.

'''Chris''': And I am willing to put in the effort.

'''Catherine''': Well I live at Culpeper, it’s not that far away.

'''Chris''': It’s not that far away. Plus you can always move in, when me and my mom felt, when you felt comfortable, and then, yeah, we’ll find you a library here that’ll hire ya.

'''Al''': Yep.

'''Chris''': I mean, ‘cause up in Culpeper it’s just the one library.

===Health concerns===

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it is the one, that’s why I was so happy to get the internship, but then it didn’t pan out. So how is your [[eBay|art business]] going?

'''Chris''': Uh, fair. I’ve got, yeah, fair, I currently have, like, [[Chris and money|over $120 in my PayPal account]].

'''Catherine''': That’s good, you can work on your mother’s teeth that way.

'''Chris''': Well a little bit, yeah.

'''Catherine''': Well does she need them?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, she needs them. But it’s like, she needs six of them and it feels like I’ve got to raise the whole six hundred, so that would take a while.

'''Al''': So is your mom, she needs new teeth, you’re saying?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, she needs like, uh, she’s got cavities in six of her teeth.

'''Al''': How old is your mother?

'''Chris''': She’s 72. She was, yeah, she was born in 1941.

'''Al''': That’s not young. Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So is her health good then? Is she OK?

'''Chris''': Um, I’d say her health is fair. She uh, doesn’t get as much energy in a day, so she, as she used to, so she ends up, uhhh, resting, resting more often.

'''Al''': Yeah. But you’re saying it’s six new teeth would be what, six hundred bucks?

'''Chris''': Yeah well…

'''Al''': That’s cheap.

'''Chris''': Well, well actually it’s, actually it’s for, ehh, it’s, it’s a lot more than six hundred. It’s like, in order for me to be able to help with that I gotta give her a hundred dollars per tooth. And as she takes care of her, as then she, she is able to take care of the remainder after that.

'''Al''': Yeah. Dental, dental work is very expensive. My father has bad teeth actually, and he got a couple of those worked on a few years back, and it was like five thousand dollars for just two of his teeth.

'''Chris''': Yeesh.

'''Al''': Yeah. Do you guys have health insurance then, or…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I guess we do have health in-, I guess, yeah [[tugboat|we have insurance]]. I’ve just never really understood it.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Ah, so you do have health insurance. That’s good. What sort of insurance do you have? Like where do you get it from? Do you buy it yourself?

'''Chris''': Well, well I know we have, uh, Medicaid and uh, and the Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

'''Catherine''': Medicare?

'''Al''': So if you get, so if you marry Catie would she be on your insurance plan, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, my mother would be able to, be able to answer that question better.

'''Al''': Alright.

'''Chris''': So I don’t know.

'''Catherine''': I guess you don’t…

'''Al''': So Chris…

'''Catherine''': I mean, I know, I know how that works for mine

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': But if I married someone they’d go on mine, so…I guess that’s just something I feel I have to learn.

'''Chris''': Yeah. At least, at least it’s beneficial mutually. I mean, especially if we end up on our health insurance that way.

===Chris the artist===

'''Al''': Yep. So Chris, you’re basically like a freelance artist then?

'''Chris''': Mm. [he’s eating]

'''Catherine''': I never did ask, how long you’ve been doing that. Like, how long have you been making your living from that?

'''Al''': Is that something you decided to do after [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], or…?

'''Chris''': Mm. Yeah, essentially after college. I mean, yeah I did, uh, I originally did drawing the comic pages [?] for fun and then the [[trolls]] got to me and I just had writer’s block from really devastating emotions for years.

'''Al''': Comic pages? Are you like, you had a comic book or something?

'''Chris''': Yeah. [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah, you didn’t tell me very much about that.

'''Al''': What’s Ssssonichu?

'''Chris''': Electric hedgehog [[Pokemon]].

'''Al''': Oh, so it’s like a Pokemon thing.

'''Chris''': Yeah. And then he looks like, and then it looks like [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]. Uh, his girlfriend, [[Rosechu]], it’s like, looks a lot like Amy.

[the waitress shows up]

'''Catherine''': I think we’re doing good.

'''Al''': Oh, we’re doing great!

'''Chris''': Yeah, we’re doing good, thank you.

'''Al''': But yeah, yeah, so they’re like, Pokemon things, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah. I mean…

'''Catherine''': Don’t you need permission to distribute that?

'''Chris''': Uh, no, since they’re [[parody]], since they’re parody-like characters, it’s OK, I mean I have not gotten any complaints from [[Nintendo]] or [[Sega]] or anybody.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I suppose they can’t…As long as you’re careful they can’t give a cease and desist to everybody.

'''Chris''': Yeah I mean, I mean I’ve been working on Sonichu since uh, [[2000]]. I’ve uploaded a few images onto my [[CWC's Pokésite 2|PokeSite]], and then I started working on my comic book, the first one, in [[2004]]. And then I made like, ten books total. Well ten and a half, I got part way through the eleventh one. That’s about when…

'''Catherine''': Would you ever pick it up again?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I probably would.

'''Catherine''': Because you mentioned wanting to draw, in the email you sent me about how coming across your evil twin or something.

'''Chris''': Sorry, coming across…?

'''Catherine''': Your evil twin.

'''Chris''': Oh. Um, well that was uh, that’s an idea I just had as a fresh idea.

'''Catherine''': Fresh idea?

'''Chris''': Yeah, well it’s essentially it’s where I meet up with, meet up with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]]. That’s his name. It’s essentially “Chandler” spelled backwards.

'''Al''': And he’s like what, your evil twin or something, or…?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just essentially everything opposite me, because he would be totally [[homos|gay]].

'''Al''': So what you’re saying: He is opposite, so he would be gay, but aren’t you a [[tomgirl]] now? So wouldn’t he be a…tomboy or…? I don’t know… How would that

'''Chris''': Yeah, I… [[Stress sigh|[stress sigh]]] I know it’s complicated we think. But yeah. Essentially just consider this: I have, I feel like I have a woman’s, a female soul in me. And the female soul is lesbian. And since I’m a, since I’m a male physically…

'''Al''': OK, so basically you’re a lesbian trapped in the body of a man.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Al''': OK. I can understand that. Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

===Chris fails at [[Spanish]]===

'''Al''': Hey Chris, you want any of this? I mean I’m not, I’m on a diet, but these barbeque wings are really good and then that’s a cheese stick, now that’s a quesaduhdah.

'''Chris''': Dilla. [pronounced “Deela.”]

'''Al''': Huh?

'''Chris''': Deela.

'''Catherine''': Dee-ah. OK.

'''Chris''': Quesadilla [Kay-sah-deela.]

'''Catherine''': Isn’t the double-l…?

'''Al''': Quesadilla [pronounced correctly].

'''Catherine''': The double-l, is that a y-sound?

'''Al''': Quesa-dillah, quesadeela, whatever.

'''Chris''': Yeah, it’s tomato, tomahto, potato, potahto. Let’s call the whole thing off!

===Chris's Heritage===

'''Al''': OK. Yeah but come on Chris, get... get, get some, get some grub, man. [trying to push food onto Chris]

'''Chris''': Yeah I mean, I’ve got grub right here.

'''Al''': Alright.

'''Chris''': I mean we’ve been talking.

'''Al''': Catie, you want anything?

'''Catherine''': I may actually pinch your cheese straw.

'''Al''': Cheese straw! [Chris laughs]

'''Catherine''': Stop it.

'''Al''': It’s a cheese stick!

'''Catherine''': Stop calling me foreigner. I don’t like that.

'''Al''': Friggin’ British people, Chris.

'''Catherine''': [mumbles] You call me all sorts of things.

'''Al''': (sneers) British.

'''Catherine''': You’re lucky I like you, alright!

'''Al''': That’s debatable, but we’ll stick with that for now.

'''Chris''': Mm. You’re fair that you’re one of the few [[JERKS|males]] that I’m, that I’m feeling comfortable around, especially with, especially with Catherine here.

'''Al''': Yeah. Well I…

'''Chris''': Yeah anyway, I take, I take a bit of offense to the British comment because [[Daniel Weston|I’m part-British]].

'''Catherine''': I think that you shouldn't pretend you've ever been to Britain.

'''Chris''': Yeah I haven’t been to Britain.

'''Catherine''': Because I’m not British at all.

Waitress: You want any dipping sauce for that?

'''Chris''': Yeah. You're not British. I’ll be good there.

'''Al''': Alright.

'''Chris''': You’re just like a born-in-British kind of thing, or sort, something like that.

'''Al''': I apologize Chris, I didn’t know. I didn’t know you were British, I didn’t mean to offend you.

'''Chris''': Oh, well that’s OK, I mean.

'''Al''': I take it back.

[PART 4 00:45]
[[File:Mayflower.jpg|thumb|right|Autism comes to America.]]
'''Chris''': I’m a lot of mixed breeds, between my family, French, [[honor roll|English, British]], some, I think some Ir-, I think some Irish, maybe a little bit of Italian. I’m not one hundred percent. That's, that would, my mother knows better. And for, she’s, cause her family came along the, came along shortly after the Mayflower because [[Daniel Weston]] borrowed for, bartered for the Mayflower but that uh, didn’t get aboard at the time.

'''Al''': Cool.

'''Catherine''': Have you ever done research, like gone back and look at the passenger roster? That sort of thing is available to the public.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Catherine''': You go to em, libraries and online databases that will find. Because in the old days you would have to sign a, uh, a passenger list, ['''Chris''': “Yeah.”] if you were traveling, so you know, there’s all the names of all the people that have ever come over.

'''Chris''': The [bay?] that boarded the Mayflower.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, there’s a hundred and twenty-odd people that boarded the Mayflower.

'''Chris''': Yeah, but my mother, but my mother, she did the research between library books and she feels, she is very positive that Daniel was not aboard the Mayflower. Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Back to square one. You'll have to find it eventually.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just like I’m still trying to find a link between Richard Will-, Richard, Richard Weston, which preceded Daniel Weston, first Earl of Portland, to [[Anne Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah, that would be um, related to the king.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Well, sister-in-law to the king. He did have an affair with Mary but it’s not... It’s all very convoluted.

'''Al''': Yeah. [to Catherine:] You gotta go to the bathroom, or…?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I need the ladies.

'''Al''': Alright.

'''Catherine''': And can I, can I trust you here with my handbag? Can you just mind it for a few minutes

'''Al''': I won’t touch it, no problem.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I know you won't touch it. Oh never mind, I thought I had [?].

===Just the boys===

'''Al''': Oh, okay. [to Chris:] So how long have you and Catie been talking?

'''Chris''': Essentially last mid-July.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Or, yeah, I think it was last mid-July. We had been talking a few weeks on end of July to mid-August. I kept track of the first twenty days of communication between [[OKCupid]] initially, and then we tacked, and then we talked through Skype. Via instant messenger, plus the one time, uh, two times, we, she was in to borrow a microphone for her friend. I believe Sarah was her name?

'''Al''': Ah, I don’t know, I don’t keep track of her friends.

'''Chris''': Well at least I paid attention to the two names that were mentioned. I’m having a hard time remembering the bride’s, the bride’s name now. That’s the other name she mentioned, the bride. I think it started with a B or an I.

'''Al''': [completely bored] Yeah. Eh, you seem like a pretty cool guy. Yeah. I just, if you’re gonna marry Catie, I mean, you’re marrying into the whole family, so it’s just, I figured I’d get it out of the way and meet you now, so. Catie called me up and she needed a ride, so I figured hey, so I gave her a ride here.

'''Chris''': I appreciate that.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': And yes, you can rest assured my family is pretty much wholesome.

'''Al''': OK.

'''Chris''': I mean, my fa-, um, my father was 52 upon my conception. I’m living with two senior citizens, well, one and a ha-, one and then one later became a senior citizen, my mother.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': For all my life, so…

'''Al''': So you never, you never moved out of home then?

'''Chris''': Yeah never really, yeah never really moved out of home. Um, one weekend I went to an anime convention and stayed at the hotel by myself. That was kind of fun.

'''Al''': Really, when was that?

'''Chris''': Oh, that was a few years ago. Ah, [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]].

'''Al''': Anime Mid-Atlantic?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So anime is like the Pokey-mon… and the comic characters.

'''Chris''': Uh, [[anime]] is Japan animation.

'''Al''': Ah, cool.

'''Chris''': Anything that was originally from Japan of animation. And of course that includes Pokemon. Also cool shows like [[Dragon Ball Z]]. And uh, let me see if I can remember a few more…um, Sonic X, um…

'''Al''': And you went to the convention all by yourself?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Alright. So what’d you do there? Did you like, meet other people in anime, or…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I sort of, I mingled a little bit, um, but I mostly kept to myself, really. Because I wasn’t, cause I wasn’t really as extroverted as I am now.

'''Al''': Yeah.

===How the trolls defeated Sonichu===

'''Catherine''': [returning] What were you boys talking about?

'''Al''': So where was the, where was the convention that…?

'''Chris''': Uh, it was over in Kroger Hotel in [[Richmond|Midlothian]].

'''Al''': Oh, outside Richmond.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So you spent the whole weekend there yourself?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': That must have been pretty cool.

'''Chris''': Yeah. It was fun. [to Catherine:] I was, I was telling him about how I went to the anime convention.

'''Al''': Yeah, he was saying he went to some anime convention a couple years back outside Richmond. He said, um, I was, he was like, “Hey did you ever,” he was like, he never left his parents’ house, moved out from his parents’, so like, and then he mentioned a convention he went to, so, that seems like it’d be pretty cool.

'''Chris''': Yeah, finally I’m trying to remember the name of the bride of the wedding you went to.

'''Catherine''': Nanette.

'''Chris''': Nanette.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': OK. Yeah. I thought so at the time. I’m sorry, I started, thought it started with an I or a B. That’s N Nanette.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it’s kind of an old name from my family.

'''Chris''': Yeah, and then I remembered Sarah you borrowed the microphone from.

'''Al''': [to waitress:] Can I get a refill on the diet Mountain Dew?

'''Catherine''': [to waitress:] Um, can I get herbal tea as well please? Thank you.

'''Chris''': And I’ve been talking a lot! Huh huh! S’why I haven’t been eatin’.

'''Al''': Ah, no problem Chris.

'''Catherine''': That’s alright, we’re trying to learn about each other.

'''Al''': Yeah. The whole point of this is so that we get to know each other. So.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

'''Al''': But yeah, uh, what were you saying?

'''Chris''': I lost the train of my thought. I was talking about the anime convention.

'''Al''': Um, OK, so what have you been doing since, you’ve been doing artistry, artwork, stuff like that?

'''Chris''': Uh, well, I recently decided to do art [[commissions]] for money so I made listings on [[eBay]]. Plus also, free drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu artwork that prolly sell as well. I had, I mean, the fan club started as early as [[2004]]. And then the trolls, [Catherine says something] Yes, it was an online club thing, so errybody around the world can become a member of the fan club. And then the trolls joined the fan club and really knocked me for a loop. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t tell the difference between troll/bad person or fan/good person, and so I just opted, so I just opted out.

'''Al''': So basically like, you had this cool fan club and you had this comic book, and then there were a bunch of assholes that basically ran the whole, basically were assholes.

'''Chris''': Yeah, they even hacked into my web, hacked into my web sites, and then put up all over the place the…lewd…male pictures.

'''Al''': Like what do you mean, lewd male pictures? Like, gay guys and stuff?

'''Chris''': Yeah, and uh, [[pickle|dick]] imagery as well.

'''Al''': Yeah, that…

'''Catherine''': Why would they do that?

'''Chris''': Well it was like he just said, they were assholes. And they uh, essentially for the sake of hatred as, that was anudder term I learned.

'''Al''': So they were gonna make fun of whatev…Sunny-chew? Sonichu, whatever.

'''Chris''': Sonichu.

'''Al''': Sonichu. Sonichu.

'''Chris''': And [[Christian Weston Chandler|the creator]]. They found, they considered me to be weak and I was, I was mentally more weak back then but I’ve gr-, I’ve grown more immune and tougher, so.

'''Catherine''': You're good at spotting them now.

'''Chris''': Well, more or less. I, uh, have uh, I’ve grown an immunity to their bad words now.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Sort of. It still hurts me a little bit. A little bit. But it’s like, I just brush it off.

'''Al''': Yeah. So where, where do these people come from? What are they like? All around the world?

'''Chris''': Yeah, but I think most of them are like, within the United States, like within California. And I…

'''Catherine''': Why California? How did you gain that information?

'''Al''': Yeah, why, why California?

'''Chris''': Well, they, they uh, have initiated, they have made it known to me at some points that some of them were from California. And then also there’s some over in uh, [sigh] I forget which part of Europe. Um, it’s like um, it’s something Great Britain? Uh, I think, uh, India as well, I’m not sure. Singapore…

'''Catherine''': How are you getting all that information?

'''Chris''': [sigh]

'''Al''': How’d you find out where they were at, yeah?

'''Chris''': Fan mail.

'''Catherine''': Fan mail?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So wait, they were sending you, they, they were sending you fan mail even though they didn’t like you?

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah that was, they definitely did not like me. They sent me lewd drawings.

'''Al''': So it was like fake fan mail then.

'''Chris''': Yeah, some of it was fake, and…actually of a lo-, actually a lot more of it was positive mail, fan mail. I kept ‘em, I kept ‘em in binders. The fan mail.

'''Catherine''': Is it at your house?

'''Chris''': Yeah. I have most of ‘em. Yeah.

'''Al''': So are you still doing Sonichu then?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Your comic book thing, your…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, more or less. I’m getting, trying to get back into the groove.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I think you should do it, honestly. It seems like it makes you happy.

'''Chris''': Yeah it did make me happy, but then I lost, with the trolls coming I lost track of the storyline and what I wanted to do, and then I ended up, as I drew furder I end up falling into writer’s block. And that’s, oh, and anudder thing about autistic people—we’re kind of ritualistic as in, as in we tend to fall into habits of what we normally do.

'''Catherine''': If you got into the habit of drawing the comic you’d probably be able to…

'''Chris''': Yeah it’s like, it’s like, it’s like riding a bicycle. Um, uh, yeah, one time I was able to. It mostly depends on my mood and how I’m feeling. Yeah one time I did manage to get one book drawn in a month. But most of the time it’s only more than one.

'''Catherine''': Do you get distracted or something?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah kinda, and anudder thing about autistic people, the attention deficit disorder is part of it, as well.

'''Catherine''': I thought they were two different things.

'''Chris''': What’s that?

'''Catherine''': I thought they were two different things.

'''Chris''': Uh, well there’s a l- , there’s a lot of things linked to autism, yeah, OCD, ADD…

'''Al''': I suppose one person could have two different disorders at the same time.

'''Catherine''': I suppose.

'''Al''': Or conditions, whatever you call them.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Chris, there are a lot of artists out there in the world, and even some of the greatest artists out there who have published, have millions of fans—they still get criticism. Because with every, all art, there’s gonna be someone who doesn’t like it. And you know what, those artists, they can just ignore the criticism…

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': …and they keep on publishing. Because even if some people don’t like it, there are gonna be people that do like it.

'''Chris''': Yeah, well, I mean I w-, I would have appreciated your input dere, like, five years ago.

'''Catherine''': Well the best thing you can do is just get back on your horse.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': And show them that it’s not gonna bother you, that they can’t keep you down.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': That would drive them crazy, and it would get you doing what you love.

'''Al''': Yeah, if there’s something that you can do, with these bullies or whatever can’t affect, and you keep doing it, that will drive them nuts, it will piss ‘em off.

'''Chris''': [meekly] Yeah. Well, I should, well, especially right now I feel like I’m getting the more positive help.

'''Al''': Well.

'''Chris''': Uh, inspiration.

'''Catherine''': Positive help is a good thing.

'''Chris''': Yeah. You’re my muse.

'''Catherine''': I’m your muse? I like that.

===Chris and learning===

'''Al''':Al: You should draw her into the comic.

'''Chris''': Ugh.

'''Catherine''': That would be cool.

'''Al''': Make her like a super-hero or something like a jet backpack and like a Batman suit or something.

'''Chris''': Ugh.

'''Catherine''': I would love that.

'''Chris''': Well…

'''Al''': This is like anime and Pokemon, right, like Batman or Superman aren’t really anime.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': You could do a parody of Batman or Superman.

'''Chris''': You know there was actually a, there was a DC Universe/Spiderman cross-over, I learned. Where Spiderman wanted to learn, he wanted to learnt to, come into the Justice League, but Batman would not hear of it.

'''Catherine''': I’d love to be a comic character.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I think that would be fun.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I’ve always wanted to be like a cartoon character or something, like, I don’t know, I don’t know why. But I love cartoons, and I’d love to be a cartoon character.

'''Al''': I don’t really read…I’ve read some of the original Marv-, Marvel comics when I was a kid, you know like Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, stuff like that. So. Not so much anymore.

'''Chris''': I got into, I got into DC and Marvel original TV cartoon shows.

'''Catherine''': Yeah. So do you, I guess you don’t read a lot then, do you?

'''Chris''': Oh I do, [[Chris and writing#Chris's reading habits|I do read]], I do read some like, I read that [[Wikipedia]] article, the whole thing: “History of Lesbianism in America.”

'''Al''': So you read Wikipedia a lot then?

'''Chris''': Uh, no, not, I haven’t read it often, but I mean, I felt in the mutual interest here. I felt compel-, I felt compelled to, and it definitely was very interesting. I shared what I learned from the page with everyone.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, you did learn from it.

'''Al''': Yeah. So you basically, when you become interested in something, you look up information about it and learn about it?

'''Chris''': Mm.

'''Catherine''': Learn about as much as you can?

'''Al''': So, would you say most of what you’ve learned through your life comes from yourself, do you educate yourself? Or would you say it comes from school and college?

[something about the restaurant is bothering Chris]

'''Al''': Something spicy? You sound like you’re really hot. So…oh, the light.

'''Catherine''': Oh, the light.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I guess I’m far enough down that it doesn’t matter.

'''Chris''': Yeah. [stress sigh]

'''Al''': But now you were saying, like, do you learn more from studying things yourself or do you learn more from school?

'''Chris''': I think I think I have learned from studying things myself. And taking the good from life from the bad from what I learned everywhere, and errywhere else.

'''Al''': Taking from the bathroom? What?

'''Chris''': No, taking the good from the bad.

'''Al''': Oh, I thought you said bathroom. I just, I didn’t understand you there.

'''Chris''': [sigh] That’s the perception right, right there. Individual perceptions.

'''Al''': OK. But you said taking the good from the bad? What were you going to say?

'''Chris''': You take the good from the bad and then you put it in your own common sense and ideals, and then you figure out what’s best from all, from all perspectives there.

===The eBay business===

'''Al''': Yeah. So. So do you, you said you get paid for these comic [[commissions]], right?

'''Chris''': Well, there’s, I’m doing drawings…

'''Al''': Art commissions, whatever.

'''Chris''': Yeah. I’m doing it on [[eBay]]. I’m charging like, twenty bucks for an [[autographed photos|autographed photo]] cause I’m so famous. And I do fifty dollars for a commission I draw fully, like with a background and foreground characters and everything.

'''Al''': Sweet.

'''Chris''': But I don’t color it. And then for a hundred I will color it in. And then for two hundred, I’ll give a certificate of authenticity hand pers-, personally hand draw-, hand written, and then I laminate the piece and frame it.

'''Al''': So have you been getting a lot of business, then?

'''Chris''': Um, I’ve done a good amount, a fair amount of business. [Chris is still bothered by heat] I feel like I wanna say dang that lamp! Huh huh!

'''Al''': It’s pretty hot? But…

'''Catherine''': Let’s see about the air conditioner.

[PART 5 01:00]

RESERVED

===Barb and her family===

[PART 6 01:15]

'''Chris''': -pretty much close minded to her nowadays.

'''Al''': Are they assholes?

'''Chris''': Yeah, essentially, I would say, I would say that, yea. They uh, yea she grew up in Red Oak. She was born in Red Oak, Virginia and uh, within the Weston family there they spread rumors about her. Sort of things like, she’s a slut. That sort of thing.

'''Catherine''': What would make them say that?

'''Al''': Yeah, why would they… talking bad about someone in your own family, that’s just like harming yourself.

'''Catherine''': That’s just bullying.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I would say either their assholes or they’re just stressed with their own lives. If they would do it when they were younger I would definitely say “assholes”.

'''Al''': Was it just misconceptions or rumors?

'''Chris''': Yea, I would say definitely misconceptions and rumors. Uh, even, even [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] who was born of my mother there uh…

'''Al''': Oh yea Cole, that guy you mentioned earlier.

'''Chris''': Yeah… uh anyway, he’s got a chip on his shoulder against my mother as well because uh, of things that he’s been told about her from things, from the relatives, and his [[Bob Chandler|father in law]], even his birth father.

'''Al''': Wait. Cole, your mother is his mother too, right?

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Al''': That’s mother and son.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': And he doesn’t want to take care of her when she’s sick?

'''Chris''': Yea, he’s like, he just doesn’t wanna do a thing with her.

'''Catherine''': Wow.

'''Al''': What’s he been told? What are these people telling him?

'''Chris''': [sigh] Yeah, well my mother, she could tell it better than I could.

'''Catherine''': I mean, did he tell you at all? It seems like something brothers would talk about.

'''Chris''': Well, uh, well actually all of my half-siblings are all distant, cuz I was child when they were all adults.

'''Al''': There’s an age gap there.

'''Chris''': Big age gap.

'''Al''': So that makes it harder to communicate with them then?

'''Chris''': Yeah, even more difficult when they don’t even give you the information themselves and you have to try to look it up on the interne- through whatever and then you, then you send em a letter or email multiple times and then they don’t respond.

'''Al''': So wait, you didn’t even have their contact info, you had to look it up online?

'''Chris''': I had to look up Cole’s information online, uh, from my father, he had two children Allen and Carol. Allen is a, a alloth- an optomologlist [meaning ophthalmologist] in Chestfield County. [[Minor Family Members#David Chandler|David Allen Chandler]], doctor. Anyway he lives over in ??ville. My father knew that, he did. umm… as for [[Minor Family Members#Carol Chandler|Carol]], he, we have no idea where the Hell she is and Allen would be able to know where she is definitely and Allen still doesn’t want to do a thing with me or his mother in law here.

'''Al''': So, how long has it been since you’ve been in touch with him?

'''Chris''': Well, my, well, my father and I before he died uhh, earlier summer two thousand ‘leven, we tried to find him at his house, where he’s living at but they were out. They might have gone on vacation uhh we had an idea, we had an idea ?without any notice? but we had uuuh had like a couple of gifts for Allen and his family cuz he got married, has a daughter named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]].

'''Catherine''': OK.

'''Chris''': Yeah, so anyway, uh so we left the presents with their next door neighbor.

'''Al''': So you drove to their house then or wherever they live?

'''Catherine''': Just drove there and they weren’t there?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': What did you get for them, what presents?

'''Chris''': My father had like this stained glass bird he wanted to give that too Sava- yea the gifts were for Savannah really. Yeah he wanted to give her the stained glass bird and for a little while I collected Squinkies.

'''Al''': Squinkies? What’s a Squinkie?

'''Chris''': They’re the cute little animal-type plastic squishy things. You can put ‘em on pencils or pencils and pegs and they’re like, they're like little various characters...

'''Al''': Oh like, those little erasers you put on the end of pencils sometimes.

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, but these are not erasers.

'''Al''': Oh, they’re like decorative.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I never even heard of that ????????

'''Chris''': Yeah they came out like within the past decade.

'''Al''': Cool.

'''Catherine''': I guess, yeah I would’ve been overseas then.

'''Al''': So there’s no… your father’s side of the family there’s no… on your mother’s side of the family there’s nobody either?

'''Chris''': Nobody on my father’s side of the family, they’re all old as well. And pretty much my father, he has siblings but they’re all half siblings as well and he never really got close to them either, they, they never really got close to him.

'''Catherine''': So you and your mom really don’t have much of a support network.

'''Chris''': Yeah, kind of up a creek with a wing and a prayer… (pause) I didn’t want to say without a paddle, because we did sort of have a paddle so that’s why “with a wing and a prayer.”

'''Al''': That… that sucks man.

'''Catherine''': Yeah. That’s terrible. I mean, we haven’t always been close but at least we have family.

===The Game Place incident===

'''Al''': So what are your long term plans, I mean, where do you see you and Catie five years from now?

'''Chris''': Well, hopefully uh, more organized and all that and uh… definitely would like to be married.

'''Al''': So are you gonna be living with Catie then or are three going to be living with your mom?

'''Chris''': Yeah I think, uh, I think uh, i think we’re uh, all going to be living together. Yeah cuz I don’t want to leave my mother behind. I’m sure all of us will be living together.

'''Al''': So do you plan on doing this Sonichu thing, comic book thing or continue with the art?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I’m thinking I am going to continue with the art.

'''Al''': So have you thought about getting a job at all though? I know the economy's bad right now.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I’m gonna apply… I’m apply for a part time job after uh, yeah after we move back in, uh but I guess part time, I guess I might be flexible. I might try beforehand but I'm still not certain about that when [[14 Branchland Court|the house]] will be completed.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': And we have to move everything back to the house - we’re renting a storage unit as well.

'''Al''': You don’t have like a, like with the applications for job checks or anything, one of the things that can make it harder is if you have a felony on your record. I mean, you don’t have any crimes on your record, do you?

'''Chris''': [sigh] No, not really, but the [[trolls]]...

'''Al''': You never got arrested or anything like that?

'''Chris''': Yeah, my mother and I [[28 October 2011|we have been arrested]]… upon a trap set by, set by [[Michael Snyder|the guy who pressed charges against us]].

'''Al''': So was he one of the trolls then, or one of these internet bullies?

'''Chris''': Yeah I say he was among the trolls I say everybody and the [[jerkops|police]] around here are amongst the trolls as well. I mean, it’s not confirmed but my mother and I we end up speculating there.

'''Al''': So was it these...

'''Catherine''': So you and your mom both think...

'''Chris''': It’s the impression we get from, from, when we were talks with the police while we were under their custody at the time, or when we were going to report something, like we reported the trawwwllls and their ? have been going on and nothing got done.

'''Catherine''': There’s not always a lot they can do about that. What made you think, like apart from that, what made you conclude that trolls were in the police?

'''Chris''': Uh...

'''Al''': Yeah, what made you think that the cops were trolls?

'''Catherine''': Yeah what had you...

'''Chris''': Essentially it was within the attitude and the signal- the body language and subtle signal.

'''Catherine''': The attitude and body language, like how so, what specific?

'''Al''': Were the police not very professional then?

'''Chris''': Yeah they were not, they were not very professional, they’re more brutish - more like shoot first, or arrest first, beat ‘em up, ask questions later.

'''Catherine''': You got beat up by the police?

'''Chris''': Yeah we both did that time.

'''Al''': So were you physically injured? You could’ve sued the police if they abused you.

'''Chris''': Yeah we were completely injured, my mother was too.

'''Catherine''': What happened? Did you break a bone, did you need stitches?

'''Chris''': Uh... no bones were broken, but they broke my [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]].

'''Al''': Well that’s still damage to property, it’s not physical injury, but, so did they pay for your glasses then?

'''Chris''': Uh [sigh] no, we, my mother and I we were already going through our own [[stress]] from the court dates and everything. Fortunately we got settled, we got stuck with a felony charge, mother and I, but that’ll be cleared up next June or July.

'''Catherine''': Next June, so do you have a court date?

'''Chris''': Uh, I don’t think there is a court date, I’m not sure.

'''Al''': When was this? What happened?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, when did this happen?

'''Chris''': Yeah this was October 2011. [pause] [[Michael Snyder]], [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Hobby place]] I had been [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from there cuz Michael hated my guts April 2008 and uh he was definitely a total asshole.

'''Catherine''': How was he an asshole to you?

'''Chris''': He was just very mean, uncaring, he wouldn’t even give service when I went in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|one time before that]], that just, uh ask him OK everything's past everything and he’s like “no” he’s like “no” and he was gonna call the police on evidence so I left.

'''Al''': So wait a second, you went into the store one time and you talked with him and what happened?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I tried to reason with him. Like I was like uh [sigh] I had it audio recorded and I uploaded it for the reason I had at the time...

'''Al''': Wait a second, why would you record it and then why would you upload it? Where did you upload it to?

'''Chris''': Well, because I, because I (pause) well it was because, you know, so I could prove Michael was as mean as he was. Had he had not been mean I wouldn’t have uploaded it at all, but I mean it was audio when I had a digital camera in my pocket and it recorded the audio.

'''Catherine''': OK?

'''Al''': And when was this?

'''Chris''': Uh this was like um, two thousand nine, or ten.

'''Catherine''': OK so it was a few years ago.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So he was just basically an asshole?

'''Chris''': Yeah he was just, it was like every time it was just like every time I got half way through sentence he was just like “nope.” rah blah blah blah “nope” blah blah blah “nope.” Just a minute, “nope, nope, nope.” bipbipbibpbip “nope” -

'''Al''': So Chris, that was in two-thousand and ten then?

'''Chris''': Nine or ten I don’t remember exactly.

'''Al''': And you said you got arrested in 2011.

'''Chris''': Yeah because it was a trap essentially. My mother and I, we were in that part of town and we saw a sign on a store window that said “under new management” so I figured Michael was gone, right, but no he was the new manager of the place now and he had the police on call, ready right there at the people, at the Staple’s store to, to be like witnesses and everything and mom and I we tried to make our escape but they, but nobody would let us and then like, Snyder paid the police, told “beat the crap outta ‘em and arrest ‘em!” something like that.

'''Catherine''': He bribed the police?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Why would he do that? Why would he hate you so much?

[pause for obnoxious birthday song in background]

'''Al''': Why would he do that? He sounds like a really cruel guy?

'''Chris''': Yeah, he was really cruel.

'''Catherine''': How’d you find out he bribed the cops, did somebody tell you?

'''Chris''': Yeah, well, pretty much my mom figured it out, essentially and you know it’s like com- it’s like common sense to put two and two together and he figured that he would profit from me and my mother, he thought we were rich but we were not so rich. We had- it was a lot of money we had, but Mr. C, my father had left us and it paid the court and lawyer fees.

'''Al''': So what were you charged with then? I mean, it sounds like you didn’t really do anything.

'''Chris''': Yeaaa we were charged with trespassing.

'''Al''': Well you mentioned a felony too. It doesn’t sound like trespassing would just be a felony.

'''Chris''': There was also uh… There were...

'''Al''': You said you tried to make an escape, did you run from the cops?

'''Chris''': Uh a bit… yeah.

'''Al''': Wow.

'''Chris''': Yeah, they were blocking, they were try to block our path out but we made it out but then they cornered us at the nearby court building in the back parking lot, behind the building.

'''Al''': Chris, I’ve had to deal with cops myself, and I’ve gotta say, you never look forward to dealing with the cops but they’re still the police. You gotta treat them with respect. Even if you don’t agree with them you still have to show respect.

'''Chris''': Yeah… that’s…

'''Al''': It’s just important to do.

'''Chris''': Yeah, that’s still the process I’m trying to get to. ? uh giving the good from the bad from and I’m still seeing bad in a lot of ‘em because with the bribery and everything they can be corrupted. Cuz you don’t know what’s going on in their heads.

'''Catherine''': You realize that if you find actual evidence, like if you could actually put a case together for that you can sue them and you can...

'''Al''': Yeah, if they slip up and you get evidence that they’ve been bribed or that they maltreated you...

'''Catherine''': You could get the charges dropped and it’ll be off your record completely and it’ll be like it never happened.

'''Chris''': Yeah but.. yeah…but that hardly… My mother thought that at one point but we we’re so stressed and everything we couldn’t really act on it.

'''Al''': It can be hard to find evidence of that, yeah.

'''Catherine''': It can be hard, but if this is all true, if this is really what happened then goodness knows what else has been happening.

'''Chris''': well... yeah, yeah.

'''Catherine''': So you could be able to help a lot of people if you did that.

'''Al''': Yeah if the police around here are acting like that you might not be the only victim. They could be doing that to other people.

[PART 7 1:30]

'''Al''': What happened then, did you get a felony on your record, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, ‘cause uh, there was a little bit of a…yeah, I mean we, there was a bit of a fight on the way out and…

'''Catherine''': A bit of a fight?

'''Chris''': Yes, yeah, something like, and uh, Snyder, he pretended to be like hit by our van, but he did not, but the van was stood still. He like hit the bumper and faked falls. Twice.

'''Al''': Wait, he what?

'''Chris''': He stood in front of our van. He did not want us to leave. And he pretended to be like, he got hit by the van. He kicked the bumper and faked his falls.

'''Al''': So he walked…so the van was not moving. It was, he walked up to the van and then like, fell back?
[[File:Stonewall Jackson.jpg|thumb|right|Michael Snyder]]
'''Chris''': Uh, well, he stood there like uh, shoot, what was that uh, the, the general who, Stonewall Jackson!

'''Al''': The Confederate general.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Like stood there like [stupid voice] Stonewall Jackson! Yeah. And then, like I said he…I’m not going to repeat myself, I’ve repeated enough times. He hit the bumper and fell.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Yeah. But yeah, so basically he filed a bunch of charges against you then?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': And the cops helped him out?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Did you have a lawyer?

'''Chris''': Yeah, we had [[Rob Bell]].

'''Catherine''': I don’t know him.

'''Al''': So how…

'''Chris''': Yeah he…

'''Al''': Who’s he?

'''Chris''': Uh yeah, he’s uh, he’s Rob Bell. And he’s an attorney. Uh, I forget what he specializes in. His office is in the downtown mall area. Uh, he ran, he ran for Congress. He’s a congressman among there. Um, but the way he handled our case, he was kind of like being, he was kind of like chicken about it. I mean, it’s like, yeah it was like…

'''Catherine''': How so?

'''Chris''': Like, he was, he, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t assert us very well in the way he presented everything. Uh…

'''Catherine''': Like what was his, what was his argument? What was his defense?

'''Chris''': Uh…I don’t remember all the details. Um, um, but mom, but yeah my mom’s had more observation of Rob Bell than I would, than I was able to.

'''Al''': It, it sounds like you were innocent, ['''Chris''': “Yeah.”] so were you found innocent then?

'''Chris''': Uh, well we, well, he advised us and we went along with it to plead guilty. Yeah and then, and then all the char-, and then, uh, pushed us to multiple trials. We uh, had the, uh, shoot…the… First you go, you check in with?

'''Catherine''': Parole officer?

'''Chris''': Uh yeah, but indirect. We did not have to have a parole officer all the time so we just checked in with the person who was helping us there, being the parole officer.

'''Catherine''': It’s usually a parole officer who [?].

'''Al''': Yeah. So how long did you spend in jail then before the trial?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, we spent overnight in jail from like, seven a.m. to like, three to six…I mean, seven, seven to nine, it felt like it was from seven p.m. to the following, uh, three to six…

'''Al''': But it was overnight. So it was like one day?

'''Catherine''': It was overnight, [?].

'''Chris''': It was like overnight, but I was really upset. I was, I mean, when you upset an autistic person it’s just really bad.

'''Al''': So were they not, did they not know you were autistic then, or did they not care, or…?

'''Chris''': They did not care. And, and I…

'''Catherine''': How did you know that?

'''Chris''': Uh. Uh, I couldn’t really think of it, I was just too darn upset. They were arrest-, they were arresting my mother and all I could do was just scream.

'''Catherine''': [?] your fault.

'''Chris''': Yeah, they, I didn’t, I ended up try-, I could not find peace while sitting in that jail cell, and not knowing where my, where my mother was and everything. Nobody would talk to me in there, and for hours, while I was stuck in there, so stuck in there, because there was no clock anywhere in sight. I actually thought it was like 7:27 pm on Friday, October 27th.

'''Catherine''': That sounds really terrible.

'''Al''': Did you sleep at all?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh] After we got back home late, after we got back home then, in the morning, yeah.

'''Al''': So you stayed up all night?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was just worried, worried, worried.

===Chris, Catherine, and Barb, united in holy matrimony===

'''Al''': So did you have anybody who helped you, or…? I mean you said you don’t keep in touch with your family, so who…?

'''Catherine''': Did you have anybody in your corner? Anybody helping you?

'''Chris''': Uh, well, yeah most, well there was one, yes, that’s my uh, [[Minor Family Members#Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]]. My mom talks to her weekly nowadays, at least every Saturday.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': And uh, that’s pretty much it, uh, they haven’t uh, they haven’t invited us over to their new condominium.

'''Al''': Oy, where do they live?

'''Chris''': Yeah, they’re living in [[Richmond]], in Chesterfield County there.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that’s not that too far away.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So maybe, maybe what, could your mother maybe she could move in with them…?

'''Chris''': Uh, we don’t…

'''Al''': And you and Catie could live together. Would that work, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, no, because uh, we do not know their address and they have not invited us over. All we have from Harriet and Tom now is their phone number.

'''Al''': Oh.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Haven’t you even been by for a visit? How long have they been living there? You say it’s new, so…

'''Chris''': I think it’s been like uh, one, two, three years, at best.

'''Catherine''': OK. So…

'''Chris''': Yeah, but anyway, but anyway…

'''Catherine''': I’m just not sure how I feel about…I understand you’re close to your mother, but I don’t know if I want to be married and also doing that. Does that make sense?

'''Chris''': I feel that makes sense but uh, I don’t think…

'''Catherine''': Because it’s not an usual arrangement.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Uh don’t, I don’t think you have to worry about that.

'''Catherine''': You don’t?

'''Chris''': Yeah I don’t think so.

'''Catherine''': You mean you don’t think it would be a problem?

'''Chris''': I don’t think it would be a problem.

'''Catherine''': So like, I mean like, what if we one day had [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]]? There would be children in the house.

'''Chris''': Well, we would be in the big, we would be back in the bigger house long before then.

'''Catherine''': Oh yeah yeah, no, I’m talking about after that, after you’re back in your, your real house. Like what if we have children, there’s children running about? Would your mother be able to handle them?

'''Chris''': Yeah, she would be able to handle them. She’s been able to handle the dog-, our little puppies, [[Clover and Snoopy|our dogs]].

'''Catherine''': Dogs aren’t children, though.

'''Al''': Yeah I mean, you said that she was having only a limited amount of energy every day. Are you sure that she could handle a couple new kids?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh] Yeah, I’m sure she could handle children.

'''Catherine''': Has she, have you talked about, is this something you’ve talked about?

'''Chris''': Yeah, we, yeah, we talked about it before.

'''Al''': So…

'''Catherine''': What did she say about that?

'''Chris''': Uh, she said, she shed she’ll be, she’ll be able to help out.

'''Catherine''': And…

'''Chris''': Yeah she’s just, I think uh, what really eased her, ease her to be able to stay awake longer is motiv-, is the motivation and the drive and she’s been feeling a lot better because I’ve been more happy lately, cause of you.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s good.

'''Al''': So she, she knows about Catie then?

'''Chris''': Oh yes.

'''Catherine''': What, what all does she know about me?

'''Chris''': Um, I showed her your photographs. Um, I told her you were part Scottish and Italian. Told her a bit, told her a bit about your father and stepfather. And uh, about your mom. I, uh, just went into that detail there and [?] and everything. I’m not, I’m not gonna go furder because I don’t want to upset you.

'''Catherine''': OK yeah, cause I’m not sure. I mean eventually she will find out that…

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I just don’t know how, it’s like, it’s like [?] about tomgirl/lesbian thing.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So it’s sort of…in due time, I think.

'''Chris''': Yes, in due time. Everything in due time, but I did tell her a lot of things that we shared, talked about.

'''Catherine''': That’s good. And she’s, she’s happy with that?

'''Chris''': Yeah she’s happy and she’s…

'''Catherine''': I know for a bit she was a little bit concerned because she’s, she’s afraid I was going to take you away.

'''Chris''': Uh, no no no, I don’t think so. Yeah I think, if anything, she would, well, hm. I don’t know yet, but I def-, I definitely would not leave her behind if we moved into a new house.
[[File:Psycho house.jpg|thumb|right|Definitely not 14 Branchland Court.]]
'''Catherine''': OK. You must be really attached to her.

'''Chris''': Yeah but, it’s not like, it’s not like Bates Motel or anything like that.

'''Catherine''': What’s Bates Motel? Oh, that…

'''Al''': What the hell is Bates Motel?!

'''Chris''': Well…

'''Catherine''': Psycho.

'''Al''': What?

'''Catherine''': Psycho.

'''Chris''': The movie Psycho.

'''Al''': Oh, like the Alfred Hitchcock.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah and they also made a TV series based off that, of before his mother died.

'''Catherine''': Oh, I haven’t seen the show.

'''Chris''': It’s on Netflix. Check it out sometime.

'''Catherine''': I’m scared of everything, so.

===Obama, Anna, and the trolls===

'''Al''': Yeah. Uh Chris, you said earlier that I was one of the males that you get along with well?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, it’s like I don’t get along with most [[JERKS|males]] around the world originally, and I have a little like a few male acquaintances, friends, that I get along friendly well with, and I have to respect the president. Uh, and I guess pretty much to say, my mind, my mind is fixed so far. I voted for [[Barack Obama|Obama]] both times.

'''Al''': So why’d you vote for Obama? What made you decide?

'''Chris''': I, well, it’s like you know initially the first time he ran against uh, sh-, I forget his name.

'''Catherine''': McCain.

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, McKinney. Yeah, I would have, and I would have definitely voted for Sarah Palin if she had stayed in the running. But anyway, uh, I felt, I’ve watched both a-, both A&E biographies of McCain and uh, Obama, and with the way he was uh, raised and everything, in uh, poor countries and at distant from his parents and whatnot, I f-, I kind of felt like um, with my mental stabil-, with my [[autism|mental problems]] and whatnot, I felt like I could similarly relate to him? I felt more related, felt more relatable to him in that sense than McCain was. As he was the, uh, prisoner in that other country he insisted, he did not want to be released early. He wanted to go out with the r-, with as s-, at the same time as errybody else. Uh I mean, that is, that is admirable [he pronounces this word all wrong].

'''Al''': So why’d you vote for him the second time then? Did your uh, did your reasons change, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh…

'''Catherine''': Or was it just the same thing?

'''Chris''': I’d say it was pretty much just the same.

'''Catherine''': You felt you related to him more.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So is that like, is that like a continuing thing for you, like you have to feel like you have to relate to an authority figure?

'''Chris''': Uh, not necessarily all the time, but I felt like uh, if I wanted, if I felt like I wanted to make sure that I had good reason to decide from the change and having a first [[niggos|black]] president. Aside from that, cause if I had done that, if I had done it on just that alone, that would have been [[Chris and race|racist]].

'''Catherine''': I suppose that makes sense.

'''Al''': Yeah. So Chr-, who else do you hang out with? I mean, aside from males, girls, do you have any friends?

'''Chris''': Uh, I don’t have too many friends. Uh, I have, I have gal-, I have two [[gal-pals]], uh, female friends, uh, yeah one of which lives in Utah. That’s [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]. And the other one lives around here with her boyfriend Philip, that’s [[Kim Wilson|Kim]]. Uh, but we don’t hang out much. Well we do talk like over instant mess-, over instant message for, and emails.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s good.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Plus I have uh, Anna’s phone number, so I call Anna [all] the time.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s good.

'''Al''': Well…

'''Catherine''': [?] talking to you as a friend, like?

'''Chris''': I feel like, I feel like it is important for me to have friends, but because of, because uh, uh, yes. I’m…yeah, but, yeah, for the past, since [[2007]] I’ve been, and definit-, kind of since two thou-, since after the trolls came in, it definitely has gone downhill for me. I became more paranoid of people now.

'''Catherine''': Yeah. And you were a little bit paranoid of me for a bit.

'''Chris''': Yeah. And I feel better.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, [?] real now.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': OK, good. I didn’t, I didn’t want to upset you.

'''Chris''': Yeah, you’re not upsetting me. Uh, in fact, in fact you’re doing the opposite. The only thing that’s upsetting me right now is recounting the uh, some of the past times.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I’m sorry.

'''Chris''': That’s OK. I mean, it’s, I mean as long as I can find a punch line to go out good with, that pops up random in my head.

'''Catherine''': Well if it pops up you let me know.

'''Al''': So…

'''Catherine''': [?] to me.

'''Al''': Yeah, so Chris, how did all these trolls or internet bull-, how did it all start?

'''Chris''': [sigh] Because I uploaded whatever I felt like onto the [[internet]], essentially Sonichu and Rosechu and I had a, before then I had a [[CWC's Pokésite 2|Pokemon website]] cause I was more interested in [[Pokemon]] at that time, plus also I was a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since Genesis. [dumb voice] SAY-GAH!

'''Al''': So they just saw all your artwork and then they were just like, hey, let’s fuck with this guy?

'''Chris''': Yeah. That’s, [[Chris and art|they saw my artwork as childish]] the way I drew. Anyway yeah, that’s a word association—you mentioned the fact of Genesis, I’ll say, SAYGAH!

'''Catherine''': Word association.

===Early video games===

'''Al''': Yeah. So you play a lot of video games?

'''Chris''': Uh yeah, I played a lot of [[video games]].

'''Al''': So do you have any favorite video games, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, some, uh, yeah, I definitely like the, uh, I definitely like uh, anything with [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] in it, but, but my favorite Sonic game would have to be Sonic CD.

'''Al''': Cool. So how long have you been playing video games?

'''Chris''': Uh, pretty much all my life. My father also raised me on video games also.

Waitress: Would you like more drinks?

'''Catherine''': No, I think we’re probably [?]

'''Chris''': Yeah, I think we’re good, thank you.

'''Catherine''': Sorry, I didn’t mean to [?].

'''Al''': Yeah. So he introduced you to video games?
[[File:Commodore 64.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's first crush.]]
'''Chris''': Yeah, he, yeah, shortly before I was born the Commodore 64 computer came out, and he bought it and got it for me. The monitor, the keyboard, the whole hard drive in that, and the floppy disk drive, even the printer.

'''Al''': So what’s your first video game that you remember playing?

'''Chris''': Uh, I can remember, I can remember a few from the, amongst the floppy disks I had, there was a Muppets video game, and uh, Ch-, and the Peanuts Charlie Brown video game with, about letters. And uh, and then among the floppy disks there was also Pitfall, Q-Bert, uh, Pist-, uh, Piston P For-, uh, Formula 1 Racing, um, and then there was a [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] video game that I lov-, that was kind of delightful.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So how old were you then when you started playing? About six, seven years old?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, musta been like, uh, I’m gonna have to say as long as I can remember. Um, maybe at least one or, maybe at least six months to a year or two.
Al: From when you started school, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, started playing video games, started on the Commodore 64.

'''Catherine''': At six months?

'''Chris''': Well, I don’t know. I don’t remember, it was soooo long…

'''Al''': Wait, a year old? Like, you can’t even walk at a year old, dude.

'''Chris''': Well, maybe, well, OK well, maybe, well, OK well…

'''Al''': Maybe like two or three years old?

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Chris''': OK.

'''Al''': It was a long time ago.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': [?] you started to say, [?]

'''Chris''': Yeah, that makes more sense, one or two. Two or two.

===How Chris conquered [[autism]]===

'''Al''': So you, when did you find out, when did you find out you were autistic?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, it was wr-, about within the first two years of my life. I said my first word, “monkey,” at about six weeks. I was trying to say “mommy.”

'''Al''': That’s very impressive.

[PART 8 01:45]

'''Chris''': Yeah, and then I, and then I came up with new words as I went and uh, then I just finally stopped talking at about a year and a half. And my mom was very, my mom and dad, especially my mom was very, uh, what’s the word I’m looking for?

'''Al''': Wait, you, you stopped talking for a year and a half?

'''Chris''': Nah, I stopped talking at one and a half years.

'''Al''': Ohhh.

'''Catherine''': So you [didn’t…?]

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Catherine''': Is that common with autistic people?

'''Chris''': Yeah that’s one thing that’s common among autistic people. Yeah they either, yeah they stop talking and they probably like never talk again, or like my mom had all her positive influence and whatnot, never stopped hugging me.

'''Catherine''': What sort of positive influence?

'''Chris''': Yeah, hugging. Love.

'''Chris''': And like, you know, floor time, playing with me.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, that would do it.

'''Chris''': And talking to me. Ah, I started talking again at seven.

'''Catherine''': Sounds very devoted.

'''Chris''': Yes. Very devoted, they both were.

'''Catherine''': That’s good.

'''Al''': So they, they knew you had autism, then?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, uh, what did they do, like what sort of treatment or special stuff did they do for you aside from just like, loving and caring for you?
Chris: Uh, uh, I don’t remember exactly.

'''Catherine''': Did you have any kind of therapy at any point?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah we went to, we went, we went and saw, we saw people; we went up to the Coogi [?] rehab center. Krugi? [Neither Chris nor I know the name of this place.]

'''Catherine''': I don’t know [?].

'''Al''': I don’t, I don’t know.

'''Catherine''': I haven’t been here that long.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, and I’ve been, I’ve uh, learned about robotics and computers there as well. [Catherine: “Hm.”] Yeah, that must have definitely been after two years old. Uh, I think I was three, four, or five when I went to, went to…Krugi.

'''Catherine''': OK.

'''Chris''': Yeah, and uh, went up to, and then also sessions over at [[James Madison University]].

'''Catherine''': OK, since that’s a different sort up there.

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, and a few times over at [[University of Virginia|UVA]] as well.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s good.

'''Al''': Well yeah, I mean, obviously you’ve learned how to talk, so that’s good.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

===High school years===

'''Al''': So do you still talk, you said school was pretty rough for you growing up. Do you still keep in touch with anybody from school?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, oh yeah, I tried to get in touch with my [[gal-pals]] in [[Manchester High School|high school]]. Uh, high school, the best years of my life there. My, my closest gal-pals were very nice to me, very good. But then I found out that they were hired to be my protectors because my, my [[Bob Chandler|father]] had set up with the prin-, uh the principal and uh, and uh, [sigh]. Lost my train of thought.

'''Al''': Hey, well your father had, your father had what with the principal?

'''Chris''': Worked, you know, talked with the principal. Set up…friends for me to hang, for me to hang out with.

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Al''': Aww.

'''Chris''': And, and like, you know, protect me from bullies.

'''Catherine''': Were you bullied really bad?

'''Chris''': Uh, I was bullied a few times, yeah, considerably, uh...

'''Catherine''': So it must have been really bad if your dad went to that length.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': If he thought that that was what he had to do. I mean, how bad was it? What happened?

'''Chris''': Uh, uh, well, it, comments made, there was kids who were teasing me, shouting, “Sonic’s dead.” As in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah. And uh, then there was this one time on the regular school bus in my freshman year…

'''Catherine''': Mm-hmm.

'''Chris''': Uh, I got beat up by, I got beat up real bad, kid punched my glasses off. He wanted to be the first off the bus.

'''Catherine''': Was that, he just, he just pushed you and [?] your glasses off?

'''Chris''': He, he like, like…

'''Catherine''': Punched you in the face? What happened to him? Did you tell on him?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, I did tell on him. I’m sure he got punished, I don’t know exactly, but anyway…

'''Catherine''': Well for something like that…

'''Al''': He just punched you in the face for no reason?

'''Chris''': [gets agitated] Well there was a reason: he wanted to be first off the bus!

'''Al''': Oh.

'''Catherine''': Well that’s, if something like that happened now, somebody would be, you know, get all kinds of detentions and stuff.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': But nobody did anything?

'''Chris''': I’m sure somebody did something. I, I feel certain he got punished. But any, but anyway, yeah, uh, broke, knocked, knocked a lens out [[Pedo-Glasses|my glasses]] then as well. Ugh. But anyway, the sad part for me is the remaining years of my, the remaining high school years, I had to go there on a [[Manchester High School#The Bus|handicapped bus]].

'''Al''': Why?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh]

'''Catherine''': Why would you do that?

'''Chris''': Because they feared, uh, they feared, uh, me getting bullied by somebody else on the bigger bus.

'''Catherine''': So they just… That seems like an extreme action.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Was that your parents’ idea or was that the school?

'''Chris''': Uh, my parents idea. I believe my father’s. Uh, but I, but I feel like it was the worse idea cause I ended up sitting, I ended up being randomly, ah well, I don’t know if I’m… Depending on how he felt, there was this [[slow-in-the-minds|very mentally challenged guy]] who was a little bit taller than me. He was like “bdeh, bdeh, bdeh, bdeh, bdeh.” [Chris blows three raspberries.] He had an older brother that helped him out. But, yeah, but he often one time just whapped me on the back of the head. A few times he did that.

'''Al''': So you rode on the bus with him?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah, I rode on the handicapped bus. So.

'''Catherine''': Did you have any classes with him [?]?

'''Chris''': I had no classes with any of, with anyb-, with anybody on that bus.

'''Al''': So he would hit you in the back of the head for no reason?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, for no reason.

'''Catherine''': That sounds awful.

'''Al''': That’s awful.

'''Chris''': I would, I would tend to think uh, it might be, from his perception, of maybe something like uh, [dumb voice] “Hey, high five! I said high five! This guy’s head is a bit like a fist so I’ll give him a high five!” Whap!

'''Al''': He just didn’t understand.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': He didn’t understand.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I guess that can’t be counted as bullying then , I don’t think, because he…

'''Al''': Yeah, he didn’t understand what he was doing.

'''Catherine''': He didn’t know better. Yeah, you can’t hold that against him.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I’m not, yeah, I w-, I’m not, I’m not gonna hold it against, I have not held it against him then except for the fact that it hurt.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': But his fath-, his brother told him that and made sure he understood and then, and then he stopped, but I still felt very uncomfortable sitting within that radius of him.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Yeah. So what made high sch-, you said you were bullied a lot; what made high school so good?

'''Chris''': Yeah, I got bullied a lot less in high school.

'''Catherine''': So then what made high school so [?]?

'''Chris''': And then, and then I had my cl-, and then I got to have my closest friends in high school, my, my gal-pals.

'''Al''': But who were they?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah I can name them: [[Kellie Andes]], [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Miranda Mitchell]], [[Gal pal#Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah Bevel]], [[Tiffany Gowen]]…uh, for God’s sake, I can’t, uh….Did I say Kellie or Miranda first?

'''Catherine''': Kellie.

'''Chris''': Uh, Miranda Mitchell. [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Quarles]].

'''Catherine''': OK. So that was your, like, group of friends.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': But didn’t you say that something happened and they all decided [?]?

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, it was like, yeah it was like, it was like sometime after [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Yeah, we got separated, uh, and then I found, and then I found most of them on [[Facebook]].

'''Catherine''': Yeah?

'''Chris''': And I tried communicating with them, but then they replied, it’s like, uh, they didn’t want to do a thing with me, and then this also ended up being a factor after the trolls came in and made a mess of my once good, made a mess of my good name.

'''Catherine''': So, what do you think the trolls had to do with that?

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, yeah, like uh, yeah they found out, they got to them first and told them everything, everything about, everything from their perception that was considered bad about me.

'''Catherine''': What did they tell them?

'''Chris''': Oh, I’m sure they told them like, [deep voice] “Christian’s gaaay.”

'''Catherine''': But if you’re a lesbian, then technically that would be…

'''Chris''': Well no, yeah maybe, they didn’t, it was, they, they were mislabeling me as a, as a male homosexual there. Or otherwise that I was just plain stupid. Well anyway, then uh, all the things that they blackmailed me, tricked me into doing, I went into some of that with…

===Chris's history with the trolls===

'''Catherine''': [[Chris humps his PS3|Blackmail]]?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Blackmail? Do you have…?

'''Chris''': Yeah, like, like I had my Playstation account on, in their grasp. Under the troll…

'''Catherine''': Did they hack it? Your Playstation?

'''Chris''': Yeah they hacked, yeah they hacked it.

'''Catherine''': So wait what, and then what happened? Like, what did they do with that?

'''Chris''': Uh, they uh, ended up giving it back to me sometime, but I never realized I got to call Sony and then uh, reset, uh, get them to reset everything and then I get back in my…

'''Al''': Reset the password?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Reset the account.

'''Chris''': Yeah. But they also, the, the trolls, they also changed the email address associated with the account, so that was a big, that was a bigger screw in the hole.

'''Catherine''': That’s quite a lot of effort they went to.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, why would they…they’re that, they wanted to fuck with you that bad?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': They’re that dedicated to messing with you?

'''Chris''': They’re OK with messing with me, messing with him, messing with her, everybody they see as weak, cause they’re all stuck, they’re all stereotypically stuck in the basements of their house with their mother, with their parents being all overweight or whatever, yelling, shouting at them and everything, when they got all their high-tech equipment set up, and they just wanna fuck with errybody.

'''Catherine''': So have you, like, met these people, and that’s how you know they’re like that?

'''Chris''': Uh…

'''Al''': Yeah, how’d you find out who they are?

'''Chris''': Well, I, they pretty much revealed themselves.

'''Catherine''': Oh did they?

'''Chris''': Yeah, and uh, I’ve actually met a few of them in person. Once, once or twice.

'''Catherine''': Really? How did you, how did that happen?

'''Chris''': Well one was had like a set-up, uh, where, with a f-, where I thought I was gonna make a, I thought I was gonna make a new girlf-, [[Emily|a girlfriend]] there. My father was with me that one time. But it turns out there was a camera recording, and hiding from somewhere else [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|recording everything that was going on in that conversation]].

'''Al''': Wow.

'''Catherine''': Really?

'''Chris''': Yeah. And then uh, then this other guy came in dressed in a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle costume]]!

'''Catherine''': A pickle costume? That’s funny!

'''Al''': A costume?! Why would he be dressed in a pickle costume?

'''Catherine''': I swear I was looking at you, that’s just so absurd.

'''Chris''': Yeah I know it is absurd.

'''Catherine''': Why a pickle costume?
[[File:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|right|The drawing in question.]]
'''Chris''': Uh, because early, early in the s-, early in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], uh, I drew [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] eating lunch with [[Rosechu]]. He uh, he was eating a sandwich, he was eating a sandwich and he had pickle, it had pickles on it. Uh, it was like, “I hate pickles!” Ungh!

'''Catherine''': And that was it?

'''Al''': So, this Sssonichu character hated pickles?

'''Chris''': Yeah, but I made it clear more recently that uh, he was allergic to pickles.

'''Catherine''': OK. And that, and that…

'''Al''': Like, some people are allergic to peanut butter? Your Sonichu character in the com-, your Sonic guy is allergic to…

'''Chris''': Pickles.

'''Al''': Why did you make him allergic to pickles?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh]

'''Catherine''': Why pickles?

'''Al''': Yeah?

'''Chris''': Yeah, because, because I don’t like [[pickles]] either.

'''Catherine''': Oh.

'''Al''': Oh, OK.

'''Chris''': Uh, I tasted them and I’m not really fond of the taste. I like cucumbers, though. I guess it’s more the pickle juice that…

'''Catherine''': I suppose it’s just the pickle [?] preserving process.

'''Al''': Yeah, what they do is they get cucumbers and they put vinegar in it to make…

'''Catherine''': Vinegar and other [?].

'''Al''': Yeah, yeah, other preservatives to make the pickles, yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So. But no, um, you were saying, uh, so why’d they break off your gal-pals? Why did they break off contact with you after high school?

'''Chris''': Uh, they did, they just want, they just did not, they just essentially did not want me being happy at all.

'''Al''':

'''Chris''': No, I had not done anything to them.

'''Catherine''': Really?

'''Chris''': Seriously.

'''Catherine''': So why did they, like what made them change their minds? Presumably they were fond of you in school, like they liked you or something.

'''Chris''': Um, well I’d say everything that the trolls told them. Um, but I think, I would say the trolls, they hated me initially, but then they wanted to find more stuff to hate me with, so they sent me emails and whatnot, uh, on the internet. Internet communications, since two thou-, since 2007. And uh, and [[Mailbag|I answered some of their questions publicly]] on the, I had a wiki-style website, Wikipedia-style. Not [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia]]. It was called…

'''Al''': Cool, so you had your own Wikipedia then?

'''Chris''': Yeah but I, it was just…

'''Catherine''': Like a famous person.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, it was called “[[CWCipedia]],” cause my initials C.W.C., Christian Weston Chandler. Saying the initials it sounds like the word “quick.” Zzzt!

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Like Sonic is quick, yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So you had your own, what happened to your website? Is it still up?

'''Chris''': No, they hacked it. And I just, I was like, they kept hacking it, and I was like, I was tired with it, I don’t want a website anymore.

'''Catherine''': So you just gave it up?

'''Chris''': Yeah and I, and I shut, I shut it down, pulled the plug.

'''Al''': So you just gave up and let them win?

'''Chris''': [stress sigh]

'''Catherine''': That’s sort of sad.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': You let them win, then that shows that they can bully you.

'''Chris''': [stress sigh] Well I was s-, I was, that was years ago. I think it was like, 2008 or 9 that I pulled the plug on all the websites I had.

'''Al''': That was a while back, yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So, you could probably do it again, though.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Just to show them, like to get up there and show them that you are proud and that you are strong ['''Chris''': “Yeah.”] and they can’t pull you down.

'''Chris''': Yeah, it’s like, you know, even when I try to make a new relationship, uh, especially among the theoretical rex-, exes I had, I still could not tell which was which…

'''Al''': Wait, what do you mean, “theoretical ex?”

'''Chris''': I was saying we never met in person. And then we communicated essentially online.

'''Al''': So theoretical ex is like, fake ex, or…?

'''Chris''': Uh, it could be fake. But it’s like, uh, it’s, it’s a theory: I’m online, I’m talking to a woman, and then, likely, probably, on the udder guy’s [?] of a woman it’s [[Julie|a dude…pretending]].

'''Al''': Yeah, that’s not cool.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah. That’s, well obviously I’m not a [?] woman, so…

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': I’m very happy about that.

'''Catherine''': Excuse me, I’m burping a bit.

===Al wants Chris to get a job===

'''Al''': Yeah. So what, looking to the future, um, so your plan is pretty much move back into your [[14 Branchland Court|old house]] and maybe Catie can move in, and…?

'''Chris''': Uh, yeah I think so.

'''Al''': So, how are you gonna take care of, uh, Catie then? And [[Barbara Chandler|your mom]]? How do you, what’s your plan for that?

'''Chris''': I think we, I think we’ll be able to pool our [[tugboat|resources]] and, and [[Chris and money|finances]], and do good. I know that doesn’t sound so swift, even I’m feeling that, but I mean, I just feel, I just feel like uh, we’re, we’ve been getting along very well and I don’t want to be alone forever.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': And, and you know, couples do work better together as a team, pool everything, you know?

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Well Chris… [lets Catherine speak] yeah.

'''Catherine''': I think Al is just concerned cause our family is so traditional.

'''Chris''': Yeah, that’s understandable.

'''Al''': It’s just, you know, you’re marrying not just her, but you’re marrying into our whole family.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Al''': And we have high standards.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Al''': And you need to take care of my cousin well.

'''Chris''': I’ll sh-, I’ll take care of her the best I am able.

'''Al''': OK. And if you, you just need to show her some respect and take care of her, and I’m not sure, I don’t know you too well yet. Right, so…

'''Chris''': I, I promise you I will show her a lot of [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and I will do my best to take care of her.

'''Al''': OK, well. We’ll see then. If you can prove that to me then you can prove that to me.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Al''': So.

Catherine: Don’t be such a hardass.

'''Al''': Oh, well, yeah.

'''Chris''': It’s alright, I mean, I understand. I’ve seen a lot of the si-, I’ve seen a lot of the type on the, uh, telly.

'''Al''': OK.

'''Catherine''': He’s just looking out for me.

'''Al''': Oh yeah, if you, if you can treat her with respect, and you can maybe get a job, bring in some money, or continue this art thing?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Cause, it’s just, I think, eh, Cate would be happier if she was with someone who was doing something productive.

'''Chris''': Yes, I…

'''Al''': Kind of like, getting into the art, maybe start up this comic thing again?

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Al''': Or maybe get a job and stuff like that?

'''Chris''': Yes. Yes I will.

'''Al''': Because when some people stay around the house too much, you know, it’s too much time to get, like you’ve got to get out and like, do you take walks?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Like sometimes, when I was living with my mother and my brother and stuff, I would go to work as a way to get away from them, you know?

'''Chris''': Right.

[PART 9 02:00]

'''Al''': Just have some stress-free time at work, so.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': But yeah.

'''Chris''': I understand.

===Attempt to escape===

'''Catherine''': [to Al] What time is it? We’d better go back to the mechanic’s before they close.

'''Chris''': It’s uh…

'''Al''': Yeah what time…?

'''Chris''': It’s ten after three.

'''Catherine''': Oh it’s ten after three, yeah they close at 4:30.

'''Al''': OK, well we’ll, we’ll wrap it up here in a few minutes, so…

'''Catherine''': Yeah. Because they’ve got, they’ve got my car, I gotta find out what’s wrong with it.

'''Al''': So Mr. Chand-…

'''Chris''': OK, OK yeah, so they got your car over there.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, that’s why Al had to drive me.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Oh that’s OK. I can, I can…

'''Catherine''': [?]

'''Chris''': Where, where, where, where was the mechan-, where, where is the garage then?

'''Catherine''': I’m not sure.

'''Al''': Uh, we don’t know the…you don’t know the street address? No, we don’t, you, we don’t have the street…

'''Catherine''': It’s, it’s in your GPS, I’m not sure…

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Well, OK, well I’ll, I’ll just, I’ll follow y’all.

'''Catherine''': Well I’ve gotta go, he’s got…

'''Al''': It’s a pretty long way to the mechanic’s. So.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it’s, it’s near my place. You’ve gotta drop me off and then I, he’s gotta go back home for work. I’m sorry.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Mm. I’m really sorry.

'''Chris''': Um.

'''Catherine''': If I had my own car…

'''Al''': And this is, and the date here has dragged on a little longer than we thought.

'''Chris''': Well that’s OK, I mean, I like, I like, I like talking. Conversing.

'''Al''': Alright.

'''Catherine''': OK. And I’ll see if I can make rye bread for you.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Two weeks?

'''Chris''': That’s on the thirteenth.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': That’s two weeks from now, I’ll try and see if I can make sure that [?] walking dogs and uh…

'''Al''': Well you can always talk with Catie over Skype, right?

'''Chris''': Yeah that’s, that’s another thing, I, yeah, did wanna get her, I did wanna help her out by getting her set up with a, um…

'''Al''': Yeah now do you have like a webcam or is it just a audio microphone, or what?

'''Chris''': Uh…[apparently whips it out] I have an iPhone.

'''Al''': Oh, well you use Skype on an iPhone. So.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, you can do that.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I’ve got it on my computer at home. But I’ve actually got a, a phone line. I’ve got unlimited text now. So.

'''Chris''': (surprised) Oh you did?

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I got, I got an upgrade, so I’ve got unlimited texts now.

'''Chris''': Oh. Hm.

'''Catherine''': I can give you my number if you want it.

'''Chris''': Oh yeah, give me your number.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/listen/5u4tdussdod4ky1/CWC_Catie_Date_Complete.mp3 Download complete mp3!]

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Catherine Saga]]

IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

2015-03-19T19:18:47Z

Gunter: /* Transcript */

{{Incomplete}}

The '''IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court''' followed the [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|Applebee's date]] between [[Catherine]] and Chris on 31 [[August 2014]]. As on the date itself, Catherine's cousin Al tagged along. As Catherine would later relate, "We were going to escape to the 'mechanic' where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us [[14 Branchland Court|14BC]], we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets." For about ten minutes the trio trudged through the weedy, garbage-strewn lawn outside of Chris's burned-out home. Catherine's description: "The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. [[Robert Chandler|Bob]]'s old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much."

==Summary==

==Transcript==
[Garbled, Chris and Catie talking in the background]

'''Catherine''': ...from what you had told me...[?]...it doesn't look all that bad, it just in need of a new roof but it looks like it's a lot more damage – you must be... that must have been devastating!

'''Chris''': Yeah, [[Destruction of Chris's House|it was devastating]]. At least we all got out safe.

Catie and Al: Yeah.

'''Al''': So what's under this tarp?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's, uh, material for the renovation.

'''Catherine''': Ah so...[garbled by Chris speaking over Catie]...better not touch it.

'''Chris''': The other triangle ones over there on the other side dumpster, rafters.

'''Al''': So, how long's it been here? I see that there's the leaves and everything on it...

'''Chris''': Oh, It's been here for, like, uh, about a week or two.

'''Catherine''': Oh, just a week or two?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': How long ago was the fire again?

'''Chris''': It was last January, on the tenth.

'''Al''': So it's been what, like, seven, eight months?

'''Chris''': Yeah, it happened at like two a.m.

'''Catherine''': That must-

'''Chris''': [[Clover and Snoopy|Dogs]] woke me up, and I saw the fire, I- I was like, oh my God, fire!

'''Al''': So...shit, so you just ran out of the house, then?

'''Chris''': Well, didn't- I didn't think of that initially, but I called 911, they advised us to get out of the house. [[Barbara Chandler|My mom]] tried to py- tried to put out the fire with the esstinguisher...

'''Catherine''': Yeah?

'''Chris''': If she had a second one, she would have won that battle!

'''Catherine''': Think so? Oh, don't go in!

'''Chris''': [?]

'''Al''': Is that all locked up, then?

'''Chris''': Yeah, it's locked up. I don't even remember the combination anymore for that thing. I used to have it for when I was putting the box- collecting the boxes...

'''Al''': So after the fire, you got what was left out of the house, then?

'''Chris''': Yeah, we salvaged a lot! There were a lot of things that were still...very good shape.

'''Catherine''': What kind of things?

[garbled, as everyone speaks at the same time]

'''Chris''': Hundreds, and thousands...

'''Catherine''': Oh, there's broken glass, I'm not going to stand there!

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': You've got hundreds-

'''Catherine''': Come right here and not stand on the broken glass!

'''Al''': I got boots on, I'm fine.

'''Catherine''': Well, you've got boots on, I haven't.

'''Al''': Yeah, well...damn.

'''Chris''': Oh, it's the same shoes as you wore in the picture!

'''Catherine''': Yeah! They're my favorite shoes. I'm probably going to have to get rid of them soon, they're starting to get um...
[garbled]

'''Chris''': They've got a nice selection at [[Target]] or [[Walmart]]-

'''Catherine''': Mm-hmm, usually. I used to get my shoes at the [?]-

'''Chris''': Yes, they're the upper end, that.

'''Catherine''': ...discount- discount shoe warehouse.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it's a good place. If you- if you know how to shop, you get them pretty cheap.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, Chris, you said the fire was eight months ago, but they only delivered that stuff like, a week or two ago?

'''Chris''': Yeah, a whole lot paperwork had to be processed, everywhere.

'''Al''': Yeah!

'''Catherine''': What sort of paperwork?

'''Chris''': Oh, you know, the- whate- I don't know all- I don't know specifically, but-you-know, between state farm and Arcam Construction [sp?] and...[[Rainbow]] Cleaners...

'''Catherine''': Okay.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': So...I suppose...[?]...I was born to speak all mirth and no matter, it's a quote from Shakespeare. This one's Shakespeare as well.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': I like Shakespeare.

'''Chris''': I know you do, you told me.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, it's a little strange, but...

'''Chris''': Yeah, and the li- and the Tudors, you like dressing up for Halloween.

'''Catherine''': Mm-hmm, I love dressing up for Halloween; Halloween is not too fa- too far out.

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Yeah, you know...

[garbled]

'''Al''': So, what happened- what happened with all the windows and all?

'''Chris''': The firemen did that, they broke the windows so they could get in... yeah, 'cuz of all the clutter we had...in the house.

'''Catherine''': [unclear, perhaps: Yeah, you got- you've got to throw some of those things out?]

'''Al''': So what's the story with this? It looks like an old car.

'''Chris''': Uhhh, no, uh, actually it was a- it was- it's in newer condition than you think.

'''Al''': How long's it been sitting here?

'''Chris''': It has been sitting here since the fire, actually, uh, couldn't get it started to move it...da battery died, it needs a new battery.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that's an easy fix!

'''Chris''': Yeah it's an easy fix, but then it's got worse problems than that. We're gonna sell it.

'''Al''': Yeah. How much you trying to get for it?

'''Chris''': Mm, I don't know, My mom my- my mom...I don't know, that's her department, but...guessing, guessing maybe five, two to five grand.

'''Al''': Two to five grand? How long's it been since it's run?

'''Chris''': Ugh.

'''Al''': Since the fire, you said?

'''Chris''': Yeah, pretty much.

'''Al''': Well, Chris...how old's this car again?

'''Chris''': Ugh, I forget. Um...

'''Al''': Probably about fifteen years, or so?

'''Chris''': Uhh, a lot le- I'd say...less than that.

'''Al''': All right. Well, if it hasn't run in almost eight or nine months, a lot of the gasoline inside the motor can clog it up and damage the motor so the engine might be damaged. I don't know if you'd get two or five grand for it.

'''Chris''': Eh, well, you never know, we're gonna try sell it.

'''Al''': Yeah. I don't know, I hope- I hope...

'''Catherine''': I suppose you'd have to get what you could for it.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': I hope you get some cash for it, so, yeah...

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': Well, maybe you could help me find somebody.

'''Catherine''': There's always [[Craigslist]]!

'''Al''': Yeah. But you get a bunch of weird people on Craigslist, too.

'''Catherine''': Yeah, I suppose you do. I mean, I don't use Craigslist very much, but...

'''Al''': So what's this? Is this like, an old dog pen, or bed-

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, [[Patti]], my dog Patti, who, uh, died quite- quite a few years ago, she lived- she lived in the pen. I moved the doghouse with [[obesity|my muscles]] and how [[I AM STRONG|strong]] I was, moved it right over there to where we buried her.

'''Catherine''': Oh, right there!

'''Al''': She bur- what?

'''Chris''': We buried her underneath where that doghouse is.

'''Al''': Right- right over there where that doghouse is?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': But that's- I guess it's best not to tread on it.

'''Al''': Yeah, probably not good to walk-

'''Catherine''': Oh, you've got a little gazebo back here!

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Ah, ye- did you ever spend time here?

'''Chris''': Yeah, in- young- in my younger years we did spend time in the gazebo. And then my par- and then my parents got older than they did and couldn't [garbled] tend to the yard as well.

'''Catherine''': Well, you could've-

'''Al''': Maintenance- when you have a property, maintenance is a huge issue, so...

[garbled]

'''Catherine''': Did you step up and help them a bit [Chris speaks over Catie]

'''Chris''': I helped, I helped a bit, yeah.

'''Al''': So what did you do to help them around maintenance, around the house?

'''Chris''': Eh, I pull- [[Father Call|I pulled weeds]] and mowed some- I did mow a lo- I'd mow the lawn, I mowed the yard, yeah.

'''Al''': What's underneath here?

'''Chris''': Uh, just old furniture.

'''Al''': Furniture...

[garbled]

'''Chris''': Like I said, a lot of stuff. Eh, get rid of all this, I'm sure.

'''Al''': Yeah.

[Catie in background, indistinct]

'''Al''': Hey, uh, Chris, so what's this?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's the workshop.

'''Al''': Well, what's it say here out front?

'''Chris''': Oh, that's a memem- in memory of my father, here, that's his- it's a, it was me and Mis- me and my father's "dreaming studio"...[Al talks over Chris]

'''Al''': Hey, Catie! Come take a look at this!

'''Catherine''': What have we got here?

'''Al''': So that plaque, that little sign there on the door, who made that?

'''Chris''': He did, my father.

'''Catherine''': Oh, that's lovely!

'''Al''': So your father did?

'''Chris''': Yeah. He kep-

'''Al''': When did he make it?

'''Catherine''': Oh, it says [[1989]] [Chris chimes in: 1989] right there on the bottom.

'''Al''': Oh! So you would have been how old then?

'''Chris''': It would have been...uh, definitely seven.

'''Al''': Seven years old...so this was a workshop, you said?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So what did you and your father do here?

'''Chris''': Oh, we ended up building a few things in there.

'''Al''': What- what sort of things did you build? Do you remember?

'''Chris''': Oh, you know, wood- wood things, whatever.

'''Al''': Like carpenter stuff.

'''Chris''': Yeah, kind of.

'''Catherine''': Like cabinet- or cabinet making?

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

'''Al''': So, what, have you done anything in there since then?

'''Chris''': Ugh. Wha-Uh- um, uh, erm since uhh-fter we stopped using it we essentially been using it for storage...for...a number of our things.

'''Al''': Yeah. So how long's it been since you've used it as a workshop?

'''Chris''': Ugh, it's been like, uh...um, sometime after nine- sometime before ['92?] or after [[2000]], before we moved to Chesterfield and uh- that's his garden- his garden, though. He came back here in his la'er- in his later years within the past decade to, uh- y'know-

'''Catherine''': Ooh, more broken glass! I'm- gonna step carefully.

'''Chris''': [garbled]...yeah, they broke the glass out of the screen door, there.

'''Al''': So, wait a second, like, the glass here is falling outwards, like, did somebody break from the inside out? Or...

'''Chris''': Mm, yeah, I guess so.

'''Al''': 'Cuz like if they were outside and they broke the glass it would fall inside the building, so it-

'''Chris''': Yeah well, also, we moved things out, so we might [have] kicked some glass out here.

'''Al''': Ah.

'''Catherine''': Oh, there's [marbles?] everywhere!

'''Al''': So, when you left the house during the fire, what- where did you get out of? The front door?

'''Chris''': We went out- we went out through the front door.

'''Al''': Oh. It's good that you could get out that way, so...

'''Chris''': Yeah, he had his own little setup in there of all the, uh, little [people?] and [[Christmas]] things.

'''Al''': Ah, so your father set that up?

'''Chris''': Yeah!

'''Catherine''': Can we see?

'''Al''': Cool!

'''Chris''': He enjo- he enjoyed records.

'''Al''': Oh, jeez!

'''Catherine''': Oh, wow! That's quite- that's quite a collection!

'''Chris''': There's qui- there's quite a number of records.

'''Al''': Yeah, [such very beautiful-?]

'''Chris''': Like I say, [there's? He's too excited to hear] a real record case! Thousands of records.

'''Al''': Thousands of vinyl records.

'''Chris''': Yeah!

'''Al''': So those are all your father's?

'''Chris''': Yeah, all- they all were his.

'''Al''': So, have they just been sitting out there then, since he passed away?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Hey we got- there's- like, boxes of them more back at- between the storage unit and a few at the house we're renting.

'''Al''': So you've got a storage unit?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Al''': Does that help, to store some of your stuff?

'''Chris''': Yeah, a lot of it.

'''Al''': Yeah. Do you think you'd ever consider selling those records?

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, I belie- yeah, we're thinking about it, either donating them or selling them.

'''Catherine''': Ouch...ouch!

[Chris and Al ignore this]

'''Chris''': Selling them will be a lot better...

'''Al''': I actually- I actually collect vinyl records, Chris...

'''Chris''': Oh you do?!

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''' [noticeably thrilled]: You-ba-dee-you'll be a big help to us, Al!

'''Al''': Yeah. I-

'''Chris''': She's a lot more than heaven-sent since she brought you along, now! Haha!

'''Al''': Well, I might be willing to buy some [of] them, but it would have to be a fair price, and I- 'd be only the ones that I would want, but I might be able to help you out with some cash.

'''Chris''': I appreciate that. Thank you so much, Al!

'''Al''': Yeah, no- no problem, yeah.

'''Chris''': Hmm. Well, yeah, after we get moved back in, then we got all the boxes in- in the utility room area, which is close to that door you just passed...

'''Catherine''': Hello?

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': We'll be able to [flip them out?]

[Catie talking on the phone in the background]

'''Al''': Well, yeah, don't sell 'em to anybody else, make sure you keep 'em, let me know first before you get rid of them.

'''Chris''': Oh, I'll hafta- I'll hafta get your- get your phone number into my phone-

'''Al''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': -and your address, [get yours] over there...

'''Catherine''': Al!

'''Chris''': We'll go on- we'll go over there now...

'''Al''': How m- how-

'''Catherine''': That was the mechanic, he says he's going to close up sooner- oof! Sooner than he thought he would, said he's got a family emergency. We've got to get going now, as I need my things.

'''Al''': All right, well I can just give you a ride- I can just give you a ride home, anyway if you want, so...

'''Catherine''': Yeah.

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Masturbating and squirtin'

2015-03-19T19:18:17Z

Gunter: /* External links */

{{quote|Every Person is Doing it!! Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)|Chris [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|during his editing sessions on ED.]]}}

'''Masturbating and squirtin'''' refers to [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] notorious response on 4 November [[2007]] to the fanart [[Evan]] culled from [[4chan]] and mailed to Chris. It highlighted his intense [[Homos|homophobia]], [[ego|arrogance]], and [[naive|naivete]]. Trolls also noted that he took no offense to the accusations of [[racism]]. Evan immediately posted Chris's reply to 4chan, which promptly lost its shit. Further correspondence only introduced the internet to other facets of his insanity. From here on out the trolling would never stop. This dialogue was among the earliest constituents to Chris's new [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. All images can be found in the gallery.

Evan sent Chris the following on 3 November 2007:

{{quoteboxred|

This is some fanart of Sonichu my friends and I have drawn. I hope you enjoy it!

[schu girlfriend auditions.jpg - An image of a happy, cartoonish Chris sitting at a table with two signs, one saying "GIRLFRIEND AUDITIONS" and the other saying "NO DARKIES".]

[sonichu rule 34.PNG - A comic in which Chris whines to Sonichu about not having a girlfriend. Sonichu feels sad for Chris, and gives Chris a peck on the cheek. Chris is shocked, but Sonichu hushes Chris and says, "We need this." In the last panel, Sonichu is fucking Chris in the ass, the latter excited beyond belief about finally losing his virginity and soon getting to brag about it on [[YouTube]].]

[sonichu rule 34 2.jpg - A picture of Sonichu masturbating while saying "NO DARKIES, JERKOP!". Credits are listed as 'Bui Anon, © Anon 2007']

[sonichu fanart.gif - Chris and another [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Blazesonic Sonic-Pikachu hybrid] waving their fists and glaring at each other.]}}

Chris responded:

{{quotebox|
CWCSonichu to [Evan]

Thank you for your fanart contributions. In constructive criticism, I like the one with me and the "Girlfriend Auditions," as well as my glaring in the eyes of the blue guy.

But I AM FEELING GREAT DETEST TOWARDS THE OTHER TWO; Sonichu and I are NOT of that nature at all!!!!! If you would like to make it up to me, though, please draw a strip of Rosechu stripping for Sonichu, and have him f*** her, and draw Rosechu '''masturbating and squirtin'''' [emphasis added].

[[Homo|I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT!!!!]] I WILL NOT BE VEERED IN ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!

Again, MOST Nasty Fanarts ARE NOT APPRECIATED AT ALL; please feel free to share that quote with the rest of the fans.

Sincerely;
Christian Weston Chandler.

[Chris included a picture in the email of himself and Sonichu looking angry. Sonichu appears to be waving his hand awkwardly.]

We're Keeping Track.}}

Evan bowed to Chris's request:

{{quoteboxred|
I'm very sorry I disappointed you, Chris-Chan. I drew what you wished.

[Evan included a comic featuring [[Rosechu]] with a giant squirtin' penis.]}}

Evan followed this up with more fanart:

{{quoteboxred|
Oh, and here's more art from more of my friends. I didn't draw any of this stuff, though, so if you don't like it, I have no guilt!

[Evan included four drawings, including depictions of more Rosechu penis and a naked [[Mary Lee Walsh]]].}}

{{quoteboxred|
Alright, I have one last batch of fanart! I'm sorry to send so many to you, but my friends are really eager to share it all. I hope you enjoy!

[Evan appended five more drawings, with more dickgirl Rosechu and a parody of [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]].}}

{{quotebox|
CWCSonichu to [Evan]

Thank You Very MUCH!!! You just saved me a lot of trouble on sorting out the pics from the hellish embelishment of my person that I am certain you are in on.

[Chris included a link to the "Chris-chan" page on ED]}}

{{quoteboxred|
[Evan] to CWCSonichu

What! What a horrible page. I'm sorry!

I must wonder how they got pictures of our e-mails! I hope no one's hacking my e-mail account...}}

Chris responded in fury:

{{quotebox|
"CWCSonichu@aol.com" to [Evan]

Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu; Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' [[Pickle|PICKLE]]!!!! IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN' PICKLE, AND YOU MAY SPREAD THIS QUOTE TO OTHER ADULT FAN ARTISTS, I WILL CREATE '''YOU''' IN [[Soul Calibur|SOUL CALIBUR]] III AND BEAT '''YOU''' UP LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!!!}}

Evan simply posted:

{{quoteboxred|
Uh oh.

[This came with a drawing of Rosechu holding a pickle and saying, "I wish pickles could masturbate and squirt." Cartoon Evan replies, "Fudge, you're going to beat me up in SC now, aren't you? I shouldn't have let our souls get fiercely entangled."]}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Chrisreply1evan.png|Evan's original email and Chris's reply.
File:Detailsonichurule34.png|A larger view of Evan's second comic.
File:SonchuRosechuzappinandsquirtin.png|Evan's response to Chris's request.
File:Chrischan reply 3.PNG|More fanart, unfortunately censored.
File:Chrischan reply 4 jpeg.jpg|The last batch of fanart, again with censorship.
Image:Chrisreplyevan2.PNG
Image:Chrisreply3.PNG
File:Chrischan reply 7.PNG|Evan's eventual response to the whole issue.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[4-cent_garbage.com]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[Evan]]
* [[Mass debating]]

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20071113023441/http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response| 4chan's response to the correspondence.]

{{Emails}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:E-mails]]

Catie Date Conversation Transcript

2015-03-19T19:17:58Z

Gunter:

Talk:IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

2015-03-19T19:14:05Z

Gunter:

== this boggles my mind ==

First of all, there is the fact that Catherine wasn't a real person, but at the same time this article contradicts that. I could understand it if it was like a voice call, but this is a real life tour, not a phone conversation. So is catherine real or not?--[[User:Zimkiller1|Zimkiller1]] ([[User talk:Zimkiller1|talk]]) 18:38, 19 March 2015 (UTC)
:She's an IRL troll --[[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 19:14, 19 March 2015 (UTC)

March 2015 Facebook posts

2015-03-09T17:58:16Z

Gunter: /* A hypothetical list of party guests */

The following covers Chris's activity on his personal [[Facebook]] page during March 2015.

==Summary==
* 1 March - Chris lists 23 more medals for sale on [[eBay]] and complains about getting poor feedback for his lackluster production quality on [[Facebook]].
* 1 March - Chris celebrates "Derpy Ditzy Bubbly Mare Doo Day".

==Chris's posts==
===More [[Medallions]] on [[eBay]]===
Chris reposts his medallion for sale on eBay, complaining about the [[trolls]] who gave him his "Below Standard" rating. However, he takes it down within a day. [http://www.ebay.com/itm/Recreated-Sonichu-Or-Rosechu-Medallions-Fresh-And-Direct-From-Original-Creator-/191526240892?fb_action_ids=813793852048429&fb_action_types=og.shares Link here.]
{{quotebox|1 March 2015
Here's 23 more medals. My complaint is that in the past, the odd less than five people complained of their medals arriving as "shoody"; that is why my Seller status is Below Standard. Each Medallion is Hand-Made with care and all of that, which you would could not get anywhere else, even from a plastic-printing 3D Printer. Nothing and Nobody is absolutely perfect. Complain to eBay, if you'd like me to be able to list more than 20+ medals ever again. Thank you for your patronage.}}

===Happy Derpy Ditzy Bubbly Mare Doo Day===
Chris celebrates the day honoring ''[[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'''s resident ditzy pegasus Derpy Hooves by sharing a fanart pic. Given the two's similar personalities, I say it's a perfect fit.
{{quotebox|1 March 2015
[[File:DerpyDay.png|right|thumb|200px]]
March 1st is Derpy Ditzy Bubbly Mare Doo Day.}}

The white knight [[William Elliott Waterman]] left perhaps his shortest and subtle note of praise yet:

{{quoteboxred|cool.}}

===A hypothetical list of party guests===

Chris posts a list of hypothetical guests he'd like to have at a party. He goes on to say that any responses from the listed individuals would first be considered to be trolls. The statement implies that he [[Chris and reality|thinks that there's still a chance these celebrities would actually contact him]].

{{quotebox|March 8 2015
"**The Following is hypothetical; it is essentially a list of celebrities I would find good in hanging around with or meeting and greeting. This is for my reference.**

I'm hosting a select party, and I am inviting: [[Britney Spears]], Pamela Anderson, [[2013_Facebook_Posts#Open_Letter_to_Tara_Strong|Tara Strong]], Amy Jo Johnson, Katy Perry, [[Chris and fashion|Lady Gaga]], Kelsey Grammar, Jane Leeves, [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]], Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Betty White, Patricia Routlege, [[My Little Pony|Ashleigh Ball]], [[My Little Pony|Andrea Libman]], [[My Little Pony|Tabitha St. Germain]], [[Monica Rial]], [[Family Guy|Seth]] [[Chris_and_English#Spelling|McFarland]], [[The Simpsons|Matt Groening]], [[Chris_and_English#Spelling|Craig McCracklin]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], [[Sonichu_7#Time_travel_crap|Christopher Lloyd]], Melissa Etheridge, Kelly Clarkson, Temple Grandin, [[Transformers|Peter Cullen]], Seth Rogan.

Any responses from the individuals listed above, to this post, will be initially considered to be from people or Internet Trolls and CyberBullies pretending to be the actual individuals, and will be disregarded and ignored.

Have a good day."}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Facebook}}
[[Category:Facebook]]

User:NotChrisChan

2015-02-20T07:29:47Z

Gunter:

Hey! I'm NotChrisChan. My real name is Isaiah; you can call me pretty much anything along the lines of that, but I prefer you call me Zay or Zaya.

I've been reading articles this wiki since 2012, and Chris' antics still haven't bored me yet.

Also, I chose my name in spite of Chris's failed attempts to be a CWCKI user, which I found pretty amusing.

I can be found on a bunch of other sites, too

Here are some templates that describe me, I guess

{{GrammarNazi}}
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #fff
|id-bg-col= #fff
|id-border-col= #fff
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:PS3 icon.png|50px|PS3]]
|info= '''[[PS3]]''' This user is in possession of a [[PS3|life upgrade]], and treats it with the respect it deserves - [[The MovingFoward videos|unlike Chris]].}}<includeonly>[[Category:CWCkipedians who own a life upgrade|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #552200
|id-bg-col= #552200
|id-border-col= #552200
|info-col= #955730
|info-bg-col= #552200
|info-border-col = #552200
|id= [[Image:Jerkief icon.png|50px|Niggo]]
|info= '''Black''' This user is [[niggos|black]] and doesn't appreciate Chris's [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|rampant racism]].}}
[[Category:CWCkipedians who are black|{{PAGENAME}}]]

User:NotChrisChan

2015-02-20T07:28:54Z

Gunter:

User:NotChrisChan

2015-02-20T07:28:21Z

Gunter:

Hey! I'm NotChrisChan. My real name is Isaiah; you can call me pretty much anything along the lines of that, but I prefer you call me Zay or Zaya.

I've been reading articles this wiki since 2012, and Chris' antics still haven't bored me yet.

Also, I chose my name in spite of Chris's failed attempts to be a CWCKI user, which I found pretty amusing.

I can be found on a bunch of other sites, too

Here are some templates that describe me, I guess

{{GrammarNazi}}
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #fff
|id-bg-col= #fff
|id-border-col= #fff
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:PS3 icon.png|50px|PS3]]
|info= '''[[PS3]]''' This user is in possession of a [[PS3|life upgrade]], and treats it with the respect it deserves - [[The MovingFoward videos|unlike Chris]].}}<includeonly>[[Category:CWCkipedians who own a life upgrade|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly><noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Hobby userboxes]]</noinclude>
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #552200
|id-bg-col= #552200
|id-border-col= #552200
|info-col= #955730
|info-bg-col= #552200
|info-border-col = #552200
|id= [[Image:Jerkief icon.png|50px|Niggo]]
|info= '''Black''' This user is [[niggos|black]] and doesn't appreciate Chris's [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|rampant racism]].}}

WTFIWWY Segment

2015-02-17T19:46:17Z

Gunter: /* Transcript */

On 29 December 2014, Nash, the star of podcast channel Radio Dead Air and a member of the Channel Awesome (formerly known as That Guy With the Glasses) team, covered the [[26 December 2014]] incident along with his co-star Tara, as part of his '''''What the Fuck is Wrong With You?''''' (WTFIWWY for short) segment.

During this segment, the two react to Chris's actions with the expected level of shock (especially Tara, who had never heard of Chris before that day), along with watching the video taken by monozettai. Tara also compares the situation around Sonic's blue arms (and [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's subsequent reaction]]) to the [[wikipedia:Annie (2014 film)|2014 ''Annie'' remake]], which changed the title character from a red-haired white girl to a brown-haired black girl, and to the best of anyone's knowledge has not resulted in anyone being pepper-sprayed.

The video was later posted to the Channel Awesome website under the title "[[Chris and Religion|The Passion]] of the Chris-Chan", and Nash's high-ranking status among the site's producers meant that for part of 3 January 2015 until the following afternoon, the site's top video was related to Chris.

Given that Chris has reacted towards almost any media publishing, mocking, or trying to knock sense into him, we have yet to see his reaction to this.

This is also the first time the [[CWCki]] was mentioned in the [[Chris in the media|media]].

==Transcript==

''[We begin 1:44 into the podcast; prior to this Chris is mentioned, but not by name, and with no specifics of the 26 December incident. Nash also notes that prior to this he never wanted to cover Chris]''

'''Nash:''' Tara...are you familiar...with [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]]?

'''Tara:''' [''hesitantly''] No...

'''Nash:''' Okay. This is a ''[[saga]]''. This is not just an--an internet story, this is a fucking...saga. Chris-Chan is an individual who...loves [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]. ''Loves it''.

'''Tara:''' The Hedgehog?

'''Nash:''' Yes.

'''Tara:''' Not, like, [[List of restaurants#Sonic|the fast food chain]]?

'''Nash:''' No, the hedgehog. Loves fucking Sonic to an ''insane'' degree. And, uh, he--e also does a webcomic--I loosely use that word--about a [[Chris and copyright|totally original]] character that he created, called Sonichu, which is a combination of Sonic and [[Pikachu]]. That is all his.

'''Tara:''' Oh.

'''Nash:''' Totally original. And if it were just this...it would be one thing. But over the course of the last few years, fuelled by [[4chan]] and [[trolls]] of various assortments, he has gone on a strange, bizarre, si-sliding rollercoaster of utter...madness. There is [[CWCki|a wiki]] devoted to this person. He does not author said wiki, it's done by other people, chronicling the madness. Now, [[26 December 2014|the incident we're talking about today]], the reason we're getting to it today, is that...he was arrested. I'd like to say "at long last," but apparently [[28 October 2011|this is the second time]], but no, today...well, not today, it was on the 26th, he was arrested, and the incident was caught on video. [''pause''] Now, the reason this happened, apparently, is there is a new ''Sonic'' game called ''Sonic Boom''. Most of us who played--

'''Tara:''' They just got to that now?

'''Nash:''' Yeah. Most of us--

'''Tara:''' How long's this been a character, and they just got to that pun now?

'''Nash:''' I...well, yeah. [''shrugs''] I guess. The game is called ''Sonic Boom''. Now, most of us recognise this is a bad game for many reasons. The camera's awful, the characters never shut up, the gameplay is horrific, it's just a bad game. But no, this is not Chris-Chan's problem with ''Sonic Boom''. Chris-Chan's problem with ''Sonic Boom''...is that they changed Sonic's '''arm color''' from white...to blue. This has caused...a [[Tard rage|rage]] among--in his mind. Flames, flames, ons--that kind of...yeah. To the point where he went to his local [[GameStop]]--according to reports--attempted to deface the ''Sonic Boom'' display. Now, he's ''already'' [[List of places that have banned Chris|been banned]]...from this GameStop...

'''Tara:''' Tell 'em, Steve-Dave!

'''Nash:''' Yes, exactly! He had been banned from the GameStop before, but then...[''to his computer''] come on, I mean--I have to show them the video. Then, ladies and gentlemen, we got video! This happened. And...a--a--a...let me see if I can give you the actual video link, Tara...or just quickly type in... go to Google, and google "Chris-Chan GameStop." It's slow as dogshit, I'm sorry, I--I put the link on there, but...here we go!

''[The now-infamous video appears in a box next to the video streams of Nash and Tara]''

'''Tara:''' "Chris Chan Maces a GameStop Employee?"

'''Nash:''' Yup.

'''Tara:''' Because they changed the color of...?

[''In the video, Chris blows a raspberry, yells "Don't call anybody!" and sprays pepper spray at a GameStop employee'']

'''Nash:''' And there he goes! Hits the guy in the yellow shirt with pepper spray. [''Tara is staring at her own computer screen in visible shock''] I'll play that one again for you, as it's brief, but it happens. What you hear him say is "Don't call anybody!" is what he tells... that's his instructions. Anyway, here we go.

[''The video is shown again'']
[[File:Ezimba14644786010700.jpg|thumb|Nash and Tara view the infamous bystander video.]]
'''Nash:''' There we go, and...sprays the guy with pepper spray. [''Tara silently gasps''] And, that--that--that's what happened. And shortly after this, the [[Jerkops|police]], who were, um, none too pleased about this... you see, while it may not--I don't understand, and, uh, other people ask me about this, it's not a big deal anymore because "Well, uh the cops'll hit you with the pepper spray and th--and the taser, so what's the big deal?" Well, even if you don't hurt somebody--and the guy at the GameStop was not really hurt--the act of spraying someone with pepper spray, is an--that's considered an assault.

'''Tara:''' Yeah, you can't just do that to people. Um, like...if you have, like, a really good reason then yeah, they'll let it slide. But yeah, you can't just do that. And, wha--I--I don't understand why... your version of events here. Like, he went in...to protest Sonic's arms being blue--

'''Nash:''' Yes.

'''Tara:''' You know, fight the power, young man.

'''Nash:''' Yeah.

'''Tara:''' How did that progress to macing an employee in the face? Clearly, like, that employee probably didn't have anything to do with the changing of Sonic's arms.

'''Nash:''' No. But he has been banned from this GameStop before this. For this kind of shit. They progressively told him, "Stop coming here. Don't do this kind of thing." And, he...now, he's out on bail right now. God knows how much that's costing. He was arrested, he was held until today, from, uh, over the weekend, he's out on bail, and his version of accounts...he likens that GameStop employee you just saw, the one who was pretty much just standing there...

'''Tara:''' Yeah?

'''Nash:''' To leaping out at him in a darkened alley, like a rapist.

[''Tara looks from side to side, clearly not sure how to react. There is a long pause.'']

'''Tara:''' Does he know that he's not a police officer? [''Nash shrugs; Tara laughs nervously''] You can't just...you don't get to say, "I feared for my life."

'''Nash:''' No! You do-ho-hon't!

'''Tara:''' Unless you're a cop who kills somebody.

'''Nash:''' It...it's just THIS...really, this is the hill you wanna die on?

'''Tara:''' I...I honestly don't, like...I'm not a video game person, my nephew got a bunch of new video games for Christmas that he keeps trying to talk me into playing. He got me to play ''Minecraft'', for...I think for, like, ten minutes before I drowned in lava?

'''Nash:''' Sounds about right, yes.

'''Tara:''' Today we played some fishing game, I didn't catch any fish. He keeps trying to get me to play ''Disney Infinity'', and I'm like, I can't dishonor Captain America that way, because he has the full Avengers set. Um, so, um, I'm not a video game person. I played ''Rock Band'' sometimes--

'''Nash:''' Alright, alright. What if Captain America, in the video game, was red? What would your reaction be?

'''Tara:''' Uh, well, that'd be...weirdly...Communist, for Captain 'Murica to be wearing.

'''Nash:''' Okay.

'''Tara:''' And kinda strange. I might, like, tweet about it a couple of times.

'''Nash:''' There you go. Yeah, yeah. Would you, in fact, pick up a chemical weapon and go to your nearest game store?

'''Tara:''' Probably not.

'''Nash:''' Probably not. No. That's not what you do in this situation.

'''Tara:''' That's not what we call a proportionate response. Nor is it an effective one. Like, I've worked retail for a long time, and I'm here to tell you, the people working in the store? Fuck all to do with the decisions that are pissing you off. We're not the people who decide on the price of the item, when the store closes, how many we get in stock, what color Sonic the Hedgehog's arms are...

'''Nash:''' Uh-uh. Nope.

'''Tara:''' And if we were the people making those decisions, we wouldn't be working on Christmas Eve, in a store. So, coming after the retail people? Getting you ''nowhere''.

'''Nash:''' Nnnno, 'cuz they really...[''stutters'']

'''Tara:''' We are the Morlocks, living underground on-- ''[Audio briefly cuts out]''

'''Nash:''' When I was younger, I would get so much into a fucking tizzy about shit. Inconsequential bullshit, pop culture, it would just piss me off to great lengths about, "That shouldn't be like that, that's stupid--"

'''Tara:''' Well, when you think that people are pissed off that Annie's black...

'''Nash:''' Well, that--

'''Tara:''' She's supposed to be a redhead, and I'm like, okay, I'm about the biggest redhead elitist you're likely to meet. And they were like "Annie's going to be black," and I was like, "Oh. Alright."

'''Nash:''' I was, apparently, as far as Annie goes, I was told that the worst offense was that Cameron Diaz should apologize to Carol Burnett.

'''Tara:''' I've heard she's the weakest link, yeah. I've heard--I heard they added a couple of songs that don't really fit with the whole thing. Those are the two biggest actual problems that I heard. But people are really pissed off that Annie's black, and I'm like....."Why?"

'''Nash:''' Yeah. And, you know...

'''Tara:''' Like, it's not actually a plot point in the movie that she's a redhead. It's not. Like, she happens to be, but it doesn't affect anything. Like, there's no reason why Annie can't be black. Or why Daddy Warbucks--or, I think his name is Will Stacks now--can't be black. There's no reason why Annie can't be white and Will Stacks... ''it doesn't matter''!

'''Nash:''' And I don't recall anyone going down to their local Carmike Cinema and macing the fucking guy with the popcorn.

'''Tara:''' Well...

'''Nash:''' They're not paid enough to deal with this shit!

'''Tara:''' Give it a week or two, the movie just opened.

'''Nash:''' It's, well, i's been out on the internet for a while. Thank you, Sony hackers. We've got more tonight, and oh, god...and--you know what, here's the thing. While Chris-Chan is such a popular internet topic--

'''Tara:''' Is that his real name, like, he changed it because of 4chan or something?

'''Nash:''' Christian...Christian Weston Chandler.

'''Tara:''' Okay. 'Cuz, you said "Chris-Chan," and I was like, is that the new 4chan, 8chan? Are they just naming them now? They ran out of numbers?

'''Nash:''' BobChan, CarlChan, DaveChan...

'''Tara:''' Yeah...Jackie Chan?

'''Nash:''' I'm gonna tell you, our last story tonight, when we get to it, will kind of make this one seem inconsequential. But you wanted me to report on it, internet, and I did! So...there, you go.

[''This transcript ends at 12:46 in.'']

==See also==
*[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]
*[[Toucher and Rich Segment]]

==External links==
* [http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ The full podcast on Channel Awesome]

[[Category: Media that has been published in real life]]

Colin

2015-02-17T19:43:54Z

Gunter:

SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE

2015-02-17T19:34:42Z

Gunter:

'''''SHOWDOWN''''' is a recording of a telephone exchange between [[Solid Chris]] ('''IBA''') and [[Liquid Chris]] ('''CWC'''), in which Solid threatens to arrest Liquid for identity theft, and involve [[Bob]] in this debacle.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = SHOWDOWN: With the Recording of The Feds, The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|rvT6OGDc3gs}}
| Stardate = 09 [[August 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Liquid Chris]]; [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| Subject = Liquid confronts Ian about the slander that Ian's been giving him.
| Saga = {{Liquid}}Liquid Saga
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Kacey Phone Call]]
}}

===Transcript===
'''IBA''': 'Lo?

'''CWC''': Hello, Ian. Yeah, I think you know who this is.

'''IBA''': [''sigh''] Look, Christian, stop this.

'''CWC''': Look, you are giving me a lot of stress right now and I am not going to handle it.

'''IBA''': [''sigh''] Look, Chris, [''CWC snorts, possibly from laughter.''] listen. I was kind enough to accept that you have said that you are actually a Christian W. Chandler, but you were born as a Chris—

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] Yes, my name— My name— My name is Christian Weston Chandler.

'''IBA''': Alright, fine, your name is Christian Weston Chandler, ['''CWC''': Yes.] but the fact is, you were born with that name; you are not the Christian Weston Chandler that was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, who’s the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu.

'''CWC''': No. No. No.

'''IBA''': [''interrupting''] Look, I fa— I've— I've— I-I’ve ask— I've asked you nicely ['''CWC''': No, my name—] to please stop pretending, ['''CWC''': No.] for the sake of [[Kacey]]. She really cares about you.

'''CWC''': I do not pretending anything. And you need to stop slandering me with your lies on the YouTube.

'''IBA''': [''scoff''] Look, I don’t know what the heck is [[Chris and Reality|wrong in your head]], but you know, ['''CWC''': No, I don't— I—] and I know, her parents knows, Kacey knows, the whole world knows that you are not the Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] Well— Well then, the whole world must be— You know the whole world must be slandering against me, because I don’t think that’s very true, because my fan base— If you took a look at my— You— If you take a look at my YouTube videos, you see that my fanbase has left me comments of support, and I take— And I take a look at your YouTube videos and you— And I see that they are all calling you out.

'''IBA''': [''sigh''] Look, just please, don't— Don’t do this. [[South Park|You’re breaking my balls here.]] Stop doing this. Stop playing this game. Quit pretending. Please, come clean.

'''CWC''': I am— I'm not pretending—

'''IBA''': [''interrupting''] Stop it.

'''CWC''': Mmmm... You are really ticking me off right now. Mmm...

'''IBA''': [''sigh''] Look... Look, we’re both ticking each other off, but let—

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] You ju-ju-ju— You just keep making up all these things up, I'm not, I mean whatever, you know, and right now, you’re ma- you're making that up- you're making them up right now.

'''IBA''': Making ''what'' up?

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] You're just making that up off the top of your head, because your name is not Christian Weston Chandler, it is [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], and you are [[Family Guy|grinding my gears]].

'''IBA''': [''interrupting''] No, look, listen I— Listen, I'll spell it out for you: I came up with I. B. A. Chandler as in ''I'', meaning myself, ''B'', as in specifying what I am, ''A'', as in singular, and ''Chandler'', being my last name. ['''CWC''': Mmm... Yeah, that's—] There is no such thing as Ian Brandon Erinson. ['''CWC''': I actually figured it out.] I am Christopher Weston Chandler.

'''CWC''': No, because I found it out, your Ian Brandon Anderson name, the reason you a— You added Chandler to that is because you were paying tribute to the serial killer ''[[Wikipedia:Oba Chandler|Oba Chandler]]''.

[''Ian talks to parents in background indistinctly.'']

'''IBA''': [''background, to Barbara''] Mom, if you keep that up, he's gonna hang up, we're gonna lose track of communication right now. So [''unintelligible''] the devil's number.

'''Barbara''': [''background''] I'm get a phone talk to him.

'''IBA''': Are you still there?

'''CWC''': Mmm... Yeah, I'm still here. What do you want to talk about?

[''Ian talks to parents in background indistinctly.'']

'''IBA''': [''background''] I'm not going to let this go, he's [''inaudible''] around with me in real life.

[''Bob talks indistinctly in background.'']

'''IBA''': [''background''] He— He's continuing to call me this ''Ian Brandon Anderson'' that somebody made up.

[''Bob and Barbara continue talking indistinctly in background. Something is mentioned about how Chris "needs to let these things go".'']

'''IBA''': Look, Chris, stop it. Stop this game, you know—

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] I am not playing a game. I am— I have not— I have been— I have been being true and honest this entire time, and you have been playing a dirty game.

'''IBA''': Look, stop. No, no, no, ['''CWC''': Yes.] I am not play— I am not playing a game, I am being the true— I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the— I am the true, honest one here. ['''CWC''': No.] I am the original true creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and the world of [[CWCville]]. You're just trying—

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] No. No. That's— That was me.

'''IBA''': You're just... No, no, no, no. ['''CWC''': Nobody-] You have never been to Manchester High School, ['''CWC''': Yes, I have. Yes—] you have never been to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], you are taking the same class as Kacey is, over at community college in Washington, D.C.

'''CWC''': Uh, no, I am not, I don't even live in the Washington, D.C.

'''IBA''': You ''are'' in D.C., I know it, ['''CWC''': Not—] she knows it, ['''CWC''': No.] we all know it. Now stop it, if you don't— ['''CWC''': Mmm... Yeah, I'd like to see—] If you don't— If you don't— ['''CWC''': I'd like to see you prove that, because, uh—] IF YOU DO NOT COME CLEAN RIGHT NOW, I AM GOING TO GET MY FATHER IN ON THIS FURTHER, AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET FUCKING ARRESTED, THROWN IN JAIL, AND YOU WILL NOT GET TO LIVE THE PEACEFUL, HAPPY LIFE THAT KACEY AND I WOULD LIKE [''voice cracks''] YOU TO LIVE, BECAUSE KACEY REALLY CARES FOR YOU, ''MAN''!

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] That's not true, I am ''[[honor roll]]''! I was honor roll, and you... You have just been... Mmm... And you know what? Ya— How would you— When would you even, you know— You keep making all these threats with the police and—

'''IBA''': [''interrupting''] I am not making up any threats, my s— ['''CWC''': Yes, you are.] —everything I tell you is ''true'', ''honest'', and ''legit'', you are the one being—

'''CWC''': [''interrupting''] No, you are being— You are not— You are not being true and you are ''not'' being honest.

'''IBA''': Okay, this is it. I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just busted my balls again, [[Chris and the Law|''you're going to jail'']]. I'm sorry, Kacey.

'''CWC''': Yeah.

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[SingStar Challenge]]|nextlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|}}

{{FanChats}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Colin

2015-02-17T19:32:46Z

Gunter:

{{Merge|Catherine}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colin_China2013.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|Black]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Successful Businessman
|-
|}

'''Colin''' is the wealthy, handsome, and fit [[Niggos|black]] man who found himself forming the hypotenuse in the [[Chris]]tine-[[Catherine]]-Colin love triangle. Chris immediately developed a hatred of him wrought primarily of his financial success. Born into a wealthy family and a successful businessman of his own right, Colin was the easy choice for Catherine when she was dismayed with Chris's [[Monthly Tugboat|poor financial potential]]. This came to a forefront when it was [[Open Relationship E-mails|revealed]] inadvertently that Catherine had elected to go on a sailing trip with Colin in New York, making Chris extremely jealous.

His jealousy was extended by Colin's "offensive" male physique (i.e., having pecs instead of manboobs) that seemed to rile Chris's self-loathing and hatred for his homosexual inclinations up. Chris blocked Colin's e-mail the moment he suggested that his homophobia and disgust toward males (as seen in his [[Brassieres for Males]] Facebook page) were results of Chris's latent homosexuality.

[[Colin Chat 1|Chats]] [[Colin Chat 2|between]] the two of them show Chris to have a vast inferiority complex toward Colin.

{{Trolls}}
[[Category:Trolls]]

Colin

2015-02-17T19:29:59Z

Gunter:

{{Merge|Catherine}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colin_China2013.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Colin
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|Black]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Successful Businessman
|-
|}

'''Colin''' is the wealthy, handsome, and fit [[Niggos|black]] man who found himself forming the hypotenuse in the Christine-Catherine-Colin love triangle. Chris immediately developed a hatred of him wrought primarily of his financial success. Born into a wealthy family and a successful businessman of his own right, Colin was the easy choice for Catherine when she was dismayed with Chris's poor financial potential. This came to a forefront when it was [[Open Relationship E-mails|revealed]] inadvertently that Catherine had elected to go on a sailing trip with Colin in New York, making Chris extremely jealous.

His jealousy was extended by Colin's "offensive" male physique (i.e., having pecs instead of manboobs) that seemed to rile Chris's self-loathing and hatred for his homosexual inclinations up. Chris blocked Colin's e-mail the moment he suggested that his homophobia and disgust toward males (as seen in his Brassieres for Males Facebook page) were results of Chris's latent homosexuality.

[[Colin Chat 1|Chats]] between the two of them show Chris to have a vast inferiority complex toward Colin.

{{Trolls}}
[[Category:Trolls]]

Talk:Colin

2015-02-17T19:23:29Z

Gunter:

== Merge? ==

Unless we're running low on space at the CWCki, I see no need to merge. It seems that there's more to the Catherine saga that is yet unleaked. --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] ([[User talk:DawnDusk|talk]]) 05:38, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
:IMHO, merging it with [[Catherine]] is like merging [[Clyde Cash]] with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Kacey]] with [[Liquid Chris]]. Don't mix everything together. Colin is a separate trollsona [[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 19:23, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Adult Swim

2015-02-12T07:28:54Z

Gunter:

[[File:Robot_chicken_sonic.jpg|thumb|Chris probably mourned his childhood hero on this Robot Chicken skit.]]
'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on the American television channel [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], catering primarily to adults age 18-34. Due to [[Chris]]'s [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost [[monthly tugboat|$120 worth]], as of fall [[2009]].

Owing to his love of Adult Swim, in [[2009]] Chris was discovered on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim message boards]]. He discussed things ranging from [[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]] to his custom [[My Little Pony|Ponies]], but later on, the account was hacked by the dirty [[trolls]].

Given that ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' airs on Cartoon Network in the daytime, it is very likely that Chris has stopped watching Cartoon Network for Adult Swim and if he has to fulfill his ''Family Guy'' obsession, then just uses Hulu Plus instead. However, he shared a video of ''The Amazing World of Gumball''--and called out trolls at the same time, natch--on [[Facebook]] in [[January 2015]], meaning that he most likely still watches the network despite their airing of the blue-armed bandit.

==Harvey Birdman commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman commercial]]''
Chris has always been a fan of [[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman]]. So in [[2005]], he entered in a contest, hosted by Cartoon Network. In it, the participant had to to make a commercial for first Harvey Birdman DVD. Needless to say, Chris's commercial was filled with off-topic references about his [[stress|life issues]], similar to his [[Autism Tutorial|his later videos]].

==Moral Orel==
[[File:Moral Orel prince albert.JPG|thumb|right|[[Un-clit|Foreshadowing]].]]
Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at deconstructing [[Chris and religion|fundamentalism]], and the merging of church and state, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of.

Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head, even obvious ones such as a character saying "I guess lots of things get misinterpreted and lost in translation" while scratching his head with a Bible. The subtlety and sarcasm is lost on the [[Autism|autistic]] mind. He probably didn't like the pilot episode which hinted at a [[homos|homosexual]] relationship between two characters.

==King of the Hill==
Chris has imitated the protagonist of the show, Hank Hill, on three occasions,<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref><ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]</ref> suggesting he has watched the show. Whether Chris actually understands the sarcasm behind the show, much like Moral Orel, has yet to be seen, albeit more likely that he takes it at face value.

==Other shows==
*''[[Harvey Birdman commercial|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Tom-tom|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Adult Swim posts#Chris complains about Robot Chicken (February 2005)|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Mailbag 44#Business proposal|12 oz. Mouse]]''
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Cakefarts|Shin-Chan]]''
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*''[[CWCville Mayoral Office|Tom Goes to the Mayor]]'' (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside [[CWCville Shopping Center|a shopping mall]])
*''[[Random-access humor#Random_Ramblings|The Brak Show]]'' (Posted three lines from an episode in his "[[Random-access humor#Random_ramblings|random ramblings]]")
*''[[Sonichu 3|Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]'' (Not only is one of Zorak's chants [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Sonichu 3|3]]'', an ad for the CD ''Space Ghost's Surf & Turf'' appears on the [[KCWC broadcast]])
*''Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!'' (unconfirmed, but very likely, as it is made by the same people who did ''Tom Goes to the Mayor'' and is full of random-access humor)
*Assorted [[anime]]

{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and television]]
*[[Netflix]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Television shows]]

Mailbag 27

2015-02-08T21:37:49Z

Gunter: /* Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay? */

'''Mailbag 27''' was uploaded by [[CWCipedia]]'s Sysop on 30 [[December 2009]] and it was answered by [[Chris]] on the same day.

Perhaps the most striking element of this mailbag is Chris's shockingly in-depth response to "Bailey Jay", a male-to-female trap. The effort he puts into his response goes way beyond that shown in any of his responses to his True and Honest [[fans]], leaving many [[trolls]] to speculate if Chris is actually attracted to her.

The rest of the responses are mostly just Chris being the nutcase we've come to expect. He gives some awful advice on things he has no experience with, such as [[love]], parenting, and moving out. He also takes a few moments to babble ignorant nonsense about genetics and [[Homos|gay people]]. In one letter, he claims that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] are gay, but it's currently unclear if he actually believes this or if it's just a retarded attempt at "slandering" them. Also, Chris seems to have lost his grasp on the [[Chris and English|English language]], as many of the responses make no sense whatsoever. Chris also got a message from Jack Harkness from ''Torchwood''.

This mailbag is also one of the few where Chris did not [[Rejected Mailbag|reject]] any letters.

==Answered==
===Love and loss===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|Edward Kennedy]] <itsamekennedy@aol.com>

Chris,

I was dating this really sweet girl named [[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] for about a month and [[God]] appeared to me in a dream on several non-consecutive occasions and told me that we were destined to be together and that we were soul mates. Well, a couple weeks ago there was a car accident where she drove off a bridge and drowned in the river below. I feel terrible enough already, but with God appearing to me in dreams all those times it really shakes my faith. Is God toying with me, or what?

I hope you can help me make sense of this!

Edward}}
{{EmailReply|Probably, or you may have misinterpreted your dreams; Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but [[Chris and death|you should move on]] and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the [[PandaHalo|same thing]] a [[Ivy|few times]] in the past too. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===We're lucky Chris will never have children because he would be a terrible father===
{{Email|From: hurdygurdy@doglover.com
Recently you told me that "it is for the children's benefit" that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] watch [[Family Guy]] with the kids. How is it for the children's benefit that confusing adult concepts such as pedophilia have been explained to them? As they are under 5, how can they possibly understand?

Why can't you just let them be children and watch the programming designed for them? I know Family Guy is your favourite show but that doesn't mean everyone should watch it. Seeing as most of the humour is based on parodies of pop culture they have missed I doubt they would even get any of the jokes.}}
{{EmailReply|Children are most likely to channel-surf and turn on an adult program at any time; it is up to the parents to prevent those misunderstandings with caring discussions and supervision.}}

===A family history of failure===
{{Email|From: Seka Akatuka <akatsukaseka@live.com>
Hi Chris!

My interest is in genealogy, and I was very interested to hear that you were descended from [[Anne Boleyn]]. I've personally traced my own ancestry back to a family of 15th century innkeepers in Kyoto who served fancy tea and were charming.

My research over the past months and days has shown the following:

Anne Boleyn only had one daughter, Queen Elizabeth I, who was called "the Virgin Queen." Needless to say, she did not have any children you could have descended from.

Also, your ancestor Daniel Weston was not listed on any passenger lists for the Mayflower. Your parents were probably sadly mistaken about this.

I did find this interesting bit about your great-grandfather:

"10. Robert Pettis WYNN was born on 17 Nov 1877 in Mecklenburg County, Virginia. (1) He died in Jan 1952 in South Hill, VA. Family members say Robert P. Wynn was an only Child. Nellie Coleman describes Robert Pettis WYNN as a scoundral. According to her, he drank heavily and had girlfriend (Lonnie Harris) during the time he was married. Family stories say he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children. And there are others who say he was a "moonshiner.""

Source: [http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141]

His daughter, Carrie Edna Wynn, was your grandmother, who gave birth to your mother.

Isn't genealogy fascinating?

- Seka}}
{{EmailReply|It was no mistake; Daniel Weston is my ancestor, and I am well aware that he was NOT a passenger on the Mayflower; he made his voyage later on. And I will hand it to you, you have successfully identified my grandmother (mother's mother), I applaud you for that. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris is a breast man===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Okay dog, picture this. You're stuck on an island with a mermaid girl.

You have a choice: Girl top half (breasts with bottom fish) or girl bottom half (vagina with top fish).

You can only pick one or the other.}}
{{EmailReply|Girl top half.}}

===Chris dispenses more advice he'll never follow===
{{Email|From: hentairoolz@gmail.com
Dear Chris,

I am a high functioning [[autistic]] who still lives with his parents, and I have failed to get a job in the last few years after graduating from community college (I am completely unable to make it past the interview stage). I have caught my parents discussing putting me in a group home, which is something I do not want at all. Have your parents ever discussed putting you in a home, and do you have any suggestions for how I should deal with this state of affairs?

Thanks,

Kermit Jacobs}}
{{EmailReply|My parents care about me too much, and they have never discussed such a topic, I assure you confidently. You are an Adult; you SHOULD move out, get a job and find a place to live; rent an apartment or house room or something good like that.}}

===More fun with theology===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Calvin|John Calvin]] <johncalvin@jesusisok.ch>
Chris,

I noticed you had a problem being tempted by seeing gay things, so I looked in my Bible and found this:

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." -- Matthew 5:29

It's from the Christian part of the Bible, not the Jew part. This sounds like a pretty good solution. I mean, if seeing gay stuff bothers you so much you can just poke out your eyes and you won't have to look at them anymore! This is a much better solution than creating some kind of antidote for homosexuality, which would never work in real life.

Think about it!

Yours in the Lord,

John Calvin}}
{{EmailReply|My church has previously acknowledged that verse, and they are against it.}}

===The report card saga continues===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
"I am not ignoring it; I am doing what I can against the Trolls."

Exactly what is "what you can"?

Simply going onto [[Twitter]] and claiming "I AM TRUE AND HONEST" isn't going to work. Remember, the trolls have convinced a large number of people that greatly outnumbers your fanbase that you are a pathological liar/gay/unpatriotic douchebag. They will not accept your word(even if you think it is true and honest), you need to provide proof.

Do you know why so many people are convinced that you're an idiot lying about [[honor roll]]? Many reasons, but one of the main ones is that you can't control [[CWCipedia|your own website]]. Trolls are everywhere, in the Twitter Feed, in the Mailbag, and they've even taken over 99% of the ads.

Let me put it into a comic-related comparison. Let's say that this website is the [[CWCville]] Mall. You only control the actual Mayoral Offices, while the trolls run all the stores and make up the majority of the patrons while constantly ignoring any decree you set forth and overpowering any crackdown you attempt.

If you post your report cards, it will hurt the trolls. Don't you want them to hurt, Chris? I mean, you do keep telling them to die and all. It'll make it look like you're actually doing something useful. If this gets out of hand they'll probably plant ads that spread viruses at some point in the future and you will be liable for all damages.

Only you can stop this.}}
{{EmailReply|I have told those trolls that they are the scum of the earth, and that they give their kind of people, specifically Clyde and Jack giving their Homosexual Male kind a worse name, in videos on YouTube and such. Plus I am very aware of their hackery and trickery, and I do my best to counter them appropriately.}}

===Vaccines don't work that way===
{{Email|From: Qebafhzn <qebafhzn@gmail.com>
Chris, I'll try to be as gentle as I can be with this:
Why do you believe that Homosexuality can be cured with a simple vaccine? As far as I know, vaccines do not work that way, and homosexuality is not a simple Mendelian gene, but rather a complex mental way of sexuality. 
I just want to know your input on this.

-Take care, Qebafhzn}}
{{EmailReply|I believe a vaccine is most capable to change their mental status; my prescription has Definitely lowered my stress levels. I should know, I recently went ONE MONTH without it, and the stress LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED ME; it HURT WORSE in comparison to being on it; I went back on it, and I still take it with appreciation for it's good work on keeping me more capable on emotionally coping with stress.}}

===A repeat===
{{Email|From: Jennifer Hartworth <jayharttart@yahoo.com>
Why haven't you just bought a prostitute yet?

~ Jenny}}
{{EmailReply|I have just answered that same question in the last mailbag; the next-to-last letter.}}

===Lesbians are okay, but NEVER gays===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia: Jack Harkness|Jonathon Harkness]] <j.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk>
Hi Chris,

I love reading your questions, I feel like I've learned a lot about the author of my favorite comic. But I'm confused by some of your answers!

1. You said that as a [[Methodist]], you can't condemn the homos, and you are ok with them as long as they don't bother you. But in replies after that you keep talking about reprogramming camps and cures for gayness. Don't you think that's contradictory?

2. You said you don't care what the homos do behind closed doors. Does that mean you would be mad if two men kissed in public? Would you be mad if a man kissed a woman in public? If not, why is it different?

3. I'm a STRAIGHT man, but I like looking at lesbians. Is this a sin?

4. How do you feel about gay people in the military? Do you think they can be as good of soldiers as straight people?

5. Have you ever considered having Sonichu join the Marines? He's so strong, he could probably teach the Marines something about fighting! HOO-RAH!

Keep being a hero for straight people everywhere, Chris! Zap to the extreme!

Cpt. Jack Harkness, USMC}}
{{EmailReply|1) Well I do have homosexual males who bother me; two of which being Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddius, and those two are not doing their kind any favors; on the contrary, they are WORSENING the gays' bad name in my point of view. 2) Yes, I would be most offened; I would not be mad, in fact it is a welcoming view to see man kissing woman; Two Dudes Kissing is JUST GROSS AND WRONG, and Man and Woman kissing is Just Natural and Right. 3) No, it is okay. 4) As individual males, they have equivalent capabilities if they can prove it on the field of battle. 5) Sonichu would never join the Army or Marines. My mother would never marry someone who was in the military, because she would miss him too much, and she does not want that. Likewise, Rosechu would never want Sonichu to join the Military, and if drafted, I can personally have him undrafted, or Rosechu would beat the crap out of the officers until they release him.}}

===Balljizm===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Randal Graves|Randal Graves]] <randalg37d@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris,

As a longtime fan of your comic, I have to say I'm a bit put off by how you're belittling people with [[Asperger's Syndrome]]. As I understand it from your mailbag and your manifesto about the subject (and correct me if I'm wrong) pretty much the *only* reason you say autism is nothing like Asperger's is because you can make fun of the name. And in a recent mailbag to prove a point, you made fun of the name of a fan who wrote in trying to understand you better.

Well, just so you know, plenty of people refer to autism as "bawwwtism," making fun of how those afflicted tend to cry more often. And I've even heard it referred to as "balljizm," something gay men crave.

I say this not to insult, but to make a point. It's just as easy to make fun of people with autism and the name of the condition as it is to make fun of people with Asperger's. Just because the name can be made fun of, doesn't mean it's not a legitimate affliction. Next time you're quick to judge, keep that in your thoughts.

Regards, 
Randal}}
{{EmailReply|On the contrary, the MAIN REASON I say Autism is NOTHING like Aspergers is because the Aspergers is TRYING to take the LimeLight AWAY from us TRUE Autistic People, who we have had to endure the trials and efforts to cure Our Own Ailment, or at least give Autisim the Best Good Name it can be. I will not stand by and let Aspergers take our efforts and trials and make them seem worthless in the Public Eyes.

It has NOTHING TO DO with name references, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR Insulting My People like you did. >:( --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris finally understands asexuality, but not genetics===
{{Email|From: Alex May <alex.may@gmail.com>
In your comic you created a vaccine against homosexuality using your blood. Vaccines work by making people immune to a disease by injecting them with a weakened version of the disease. If a vaccine against homosexuality was made using your blood, that would mean you have the "disease" of homosexuality, which the scientists extracted from your blood. Was this a subtle hint to let particularly studious readers know of your true nature, or simply ignorance on your part? Please get back to me!

Peace, and stay safe}}
{{EmailReply|You Are Seriously Mistaken, and Your Theory IS PROVEN FALSE. To truly KILL the Gay Gene, the weakened Gene had to be made, but THEN the gene would need to be Replaced; otherwise, the injected person would become Asexual. The Straight Gene is put in the Vaccine to Replace the Gay Gene AFTER elimination to PREVENT Asexuality. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Reunion anxiety===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:David Vanian|David Vanian]] <blackemperor918@hotmail.com>
Hey Chris,

First, I want to say that I really enjoy your comic and I wish you the best with it.

My first high school reunion is coming up in 2010 and I am a bit nervous. I am wondering, did you go to your five-year reunion? Also, are you planning to go to your ten-year high school reunion this coming summer?

So, what would you recommend that I do to be relaxed when seeing people that I haven't seen in years? I am especially eager for your advice on how to approach attractive female former classmates. I too am looking for a boyfriend free girl and I wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

Best, 
Dave}}
{{EmailReply|There's a Five-Year Reunion? No, As I have learned from my Seinor Prom, they Projected, and I Quote, "See you at the Reunion in Ten Years." So, I have not missed the beat, and I am looking forward to my Reunion in 2010, Next Year. Just remain calm, and be yourself, granted there may be a difference in the number of years, but Be Yourself just the same.}}

===Basic writing skills===
{{Email|From: Carmine Smith <carminesmith22@ymail.com>
Hello, Mr. Chandler, my name is Charlene. I've been reading your Sonichu comic, and I must ask, how come there is no interpersonal conflict between the protagonists? They all get together and date one another with any issues. There never seem to be any arguments amongst the couples, depsite the fact that arguing is a major part of having a relationship. Why did Sonichu and Rosechu decide to date so quickly? She never bothered to ask Sonichu about his personality or attributes nor did he ask her, they hooked up simply because they were the same species.Why can't the relationships in Sonichu be more realistic? Perhaps an argument, a romantic affair, a breakup, or even a divorce to make the comic more applicable to real life. Please take my ideas into perspective.

Sincerely,
Charlene Devereaux}}
{{EmailReply|They have had their arguments, but they always come to an agreement, or they remember what attracted them to each other in the first place, so It Is All Good in each Relationship.}}

===Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?===
{{Email|From "[[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>

Hey Chris.... :(

You really hurt my feelings with your [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|reply]]. I know, it's kind of shocking at first, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. All my life I've felt like I should have been a girl, and that I've been trapped inside a boy's body; I don't want any part of myself to be masculine in any way. In a sense, I have always been a woman mentally and emotionally my entire life, and I have had the courage to show this in my outward appearance as well. There are a lot of transgendered people out there who have died or have been caused great emotional or physical harm just because of how they feel inside...

I'm not gay; I'm straight, as I am a woman who has feelings for other straight men. I hope that doesn't make you think that I am disgusting or vile, because it's just who I am.

Anyways, I shared those pictures with you because I like you, Chris, and I think you're a very handsome and kind person. I thought maybe you wouldn't be intimidated like all the other boys who are afraid to approach me, because you know what it's like to be e-famous.

If you want, here's a couple more pictures that I took on recent photoshoots. Don't worry, this time I made sure they're safe-for-work.

bayimg.com/image/majhpaace.jpg 
bayimg.com/image/najhaaace.jpg 
bayimg.com/image/majhlaace.jpg 

Thank you for understanding,

your fan

Bailey Jay ~x0x00x0x00x0x00x0x00xx~}}
{{collapsible|The pics|
<center>
<gallery>
majhpaace.jpg
najhaaace.jpg
majhlaace.jpg
</gallery>
</center>}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize for my recent response, and I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons.

As for being e-famous, it IS stressful to me; updating the content daily or near-daily without going out-of-date, trying to tell the Honest Truth when there are people who will continue to Mislabel, ridicule, slander or worse, just to make your good fans turn against you in their views. I am Straight; I just wish they would get it through their god-damned thick skulls and quit Mislabeling me. But all in all, I deal it one day at a time and one moment at a time, with time away from it all and deep breaths.

And to answer your other question in your last message, It is likely, but I do not know, because if that is true, they are certainly NOT telling me for my information. I mean, I am a good and kind person naturally (granted that I can be cruel when angry or when feeling down); I wish that women WOULD approach me if they KNOW me from online and see me in public.

If I may ask, and you may answer in a reply directly to my e-mail address at ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, is modeling the only thing you are famous for online, or are there other things you have done and published? And have you ever considered having the male appendage removed (please forgive me if I'm crossing a line)?

And, to answer another question, if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man.

Anyway, I am sure you will find your mate who will accept you fully and truly, and I most certainly wish you [[God and Jesus]]' blessings and Good Luck in that.

Peace be with you,
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

File:Najhaaace.jpg

2015-02-08T21:36:53Z

Gunter:

File:Majhpaace.jpg

2015-02-08T21:36:40Z

Gunter:

File:Majhlaace.jpg

2015-02-08T21:35:32Z

Gunter:

Mailbag 25

2015-02-08T21:33:20Z

Gunter: /* It's a trap! */ added pics

'''Mailbag 25''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[December 2009]] by the CWCipedia's Sysop. It was answered the 29 December 2009.

Chris explains that when he calls himself "high-functioning", he really just means that he's high-functioning when compared to people who are [[slow-in-the-minds|severely mentally handicapped]]. Chris also reveals that he spends 2-3 hours every day just playing with toys. (So much for "high-functioning".) Perhaps more shocking is Chris's solution to infidelity, which involves having sex with members of your significant other's family. (Unsurprisingly, he most likely got this idea from [[Wikipedia:Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey|an episode]] of ''[[Family Guy]]''.) Other highlights include confirmation that Chris lies to his parents, his explosive reaction to a transsexual woman (who he incorrectly identifies as a hermaphrodite), and an as-of-yet unexplained disapproval of giving birth via Cesarean section.

==Answered==

===In which Chris copy-pastes stuff he does not understand===
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Yo, what up it's your best friend fo' lyfe! Just wonderin' if you can help me with Hamster HTML 101 cuz ur so great with that shit. It ain't cheating!

1. What is bandwidth? 
2. What is HTML?

Well that's all I need help with! CHILLIN'!}}
{{EmailReply|You could have look up the terms on [[Wikipedia]], and I quote, "In computer networking and computer science, digital bandwidth, network bandwidth or just bandwidth is a measure of available or consumed data communication resources expressed in bit/s or multiples of it (kbit/s, Mbit/s etc)." "HTML, which stands for HyperText Markup Language, is the predominant markup language for web pages. It provides a means to create structured documents by denoting structural semantics for text such as headings, paragraphs, lists etc as well as for links, quotes, and other items."}}

===This is perhaps the worst advice Chris has ever given===
{{Email|From: eddie V thunderpuncher@yahoo.com
Dear Chris, 
I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now, I've heard that you're supposed to stay with your first girlfriend because no one else will take her place, but I'm in a bit of a dilemma. What would you do, Christian, if your true and honest [[sweetheart]] ever went after another man behind your back?

Sincerely, eddie.}}
{{EmailReply|I would talk with her; tell her how you feel about her doing those things with this other dude, but DO NOT voice [[Death threats|threat]] or [[Chris and anger|anger]]; Maintain a [[Chris and hypocrisy|CALM Voice Tone]]. Then Listen and Comprehend fully on her side of the story without suspicion. Ask her not to do those things with that guy, or come to a compromise; she did that dude, so you could do one of her friends or family with her full knowledge and consent of the act; in that case, she would see from her point of view how you felt when she went out and did that dude.}}

===In which Chris admits he lied to Bob===
{{Email|From: [[Wiki:Jeffrey Archer|Jeffrey Archer]] <jeffreyarcher@politician.com>
Dear Chris,

As a loyal [[Sonichu]] fan I remember that not too long ago you commanded all copies of your [[house]] tour for [[Ivy]] be removed from the internet. Well, I took down the version I put up right away but when I did a search I was horrified that even more copies were put up.

Then I saw the video of [[Bob Chandler|your Dad]] yelling at you. How was this resolved? Did you lie to him and tell him that all copies were taken off the internet?

Your fan,
Jeffrey}}
{{EmailReply|I did tell him that it was removed from the internet, and he is still ticked off at me for ever putting it up in the first place.}}

===In which Chris tells someone to give random women sex toys===
{{Email|From: iluvlittlegirls@hotmail.com
Dear Chris,

I recently turned 18, and am interested in buying some pornography DVDs. However, I know very little about the genre. Which porn movies are your favorite? I am interested in both hard- and soft-core movies.

Sincerely,

[[Wikipedia:Peter Sotos|Peter Sotos]]}}
{{EmailReply|Soft-Core you can easily watch from Cinemax or HBO; for the Hard-Core, I recommend anything with one man/one woman videos; you can view the variety of DVDs on http://www.adameve.com for your choosing. Be aware of the "Free Gift(s)" they send you with a purchase of $17 or more; they may send you items such as [[dildo]]s and beads; if you receive such items suitable for women, I would leave the items UNOPENED and offer them to your consenting adult women friends, or any women they may know.}}

===High functioning babble===
{{Email|From: sentientmachine11@gmail.com
Hello there Chris

I have noticed that you claim to be a high-functioning [[autistic]] male. What exactly does "high functioning autistic" mean? You say it a lot but never really give a clear definition. I could look it up on Wikipedia but I would rather go right to the source which would be you. People on Wikipedia tend to vandalize articles with misinformation.

So yeah, please elaborate on that. I'm rather confused.

Have a nice day.

-John Matrix}}
{{EmailReply|Well, thank you kindly for asking for my input on the subject. Versus Low-Functioning individuals who generally are likely mentally retarded to a point where all they can say are moans and groans, have Limited physical motion (such as keeping their arms and hands in Praying Mantis position and resists reaching out, or keeping their mouths wide open very often), may be confined in wheelchairs, crutches or such, or may possibly be [[Duck|deformed physically]]. High-Functioning individuals, such as myself, have better mental capabilities and functions, have better physical motion, and likely are more similar to functioning normal people. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:50, 30 December 2009 (CET)}}

===It's a trap!===

{{Email|From: "[[wikipedia: Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>
Hey Chris!! Thank you for your [[Mailbag 8#It's a trap|reply]]! And thank you for calling me cute :3 you're a pretty handsome guy yourself, but you know that already ;)

I think my biggest problem with boys is that like you I am also e-famous, and people are afraid to approach me because they are intimidated by that! 
I have been online modelling for a while now, and so I think boys get nervous around me... lol :(

Do you have that problem too? Do you think that girls don't approach you because they are intimidated by how famous you are?

Anyways, if you're interested, here are some of my pics ;)

They range from cute...

i50.tinypic.com/2gtp2l4.jpg

to downright NAUGHTY :D

bayimg.com/image/najnjaacd.jpg

hope you enjoy!!

-XOXOoxOXOXOXOoxOXOxooXXO

BJ}}
{{Collapsible|The pics|
<center><gallery>
File:2gtp2l4.jpg|"cute"
File:Najnjaacd.jpg|"downright NAUGHTY"
</gallery></center>
}}
{{EmailReply|OH MY GOD!!! [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]] ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "[[Wikipedia:The Crying Game|The Crying Game]]", or the [[Wikipedia: A Brown Thanksgiving|Thanksgiving episode]] of "[[The Cleveland Show]]".}}

===Chris disapproves of c-sections for some reason===
{{Email|From: meshellbel@aol.com

Dear Chris--

Hello and good day! My name is Diana and I've read Sonichu over the past year and can honestly say it's the best comic I've EVER read. My husband and I read it together every night (Thank you SO much for your daily pages! The suspense kills me!) To be honest, your comic pages of [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu..."together" gave my husband and I "inspiration" for our own "together time"

Anyway, after two years of marriage my husband and I have finally conceived our first child and I'd like to thank you for your comic pages, I can't help but feel you helped this to come about. I'm due in March and I'll be finding out the gender of the baby soon.

Now to my questions. My husband and I are not close with our respectful families and I have no one to ask about bringing up a child, my friends don't have children yet. So I value your opinions on the following, to supplement my research:

1. Should I "spoil" my child? Is there anything wrong with getting them the things they want? It's not easy being a kid...

2. What should I feed my child? My husband and I run our own business, so we aren't home often. I'll require [[Abusive babysitter|a baby sitter]], so I don't want them burning up the kitchen

3. How much television should I allow my child to watch?

4. My husband and I don't make much money, we can barely support ourselves, so how can I save money on things the baby needs?

And well...this doesn't pertain to the baby's upbringing but...

5. Can I still have sex while I'm pregnant? What are possible consequences if I do?

6. Should I get a c-section or have a natural birth?

7. Should I breastfeed?

Any further input you can offer would be much appreciated. Thank you for your hardwork on the comic pages, keep on zappin' !

Love, Diana}}
{{EmailReply|1) It's okay to treat the child, but do not do it too much; [[Barbara|spoiling the child]] will likely lower the chance of the child learning the valuable lesson of self-reliance [[monthly tugboat|and independence]]. 2) Bottles of Milk are best for a while up till a certain age (look it up on the internet or your local library). 3) 1 or 2 hours a day, and turn on the Closed Captions for helping the child learn to read faster. 4) [[Chris and Money|LESS SPENDING and IMPULSE SHOPPING/BUYING]]; also hire an accountant to help you there. 5) I think it's okay, but google the topic to learn for sure. 6) NATURAL! 7) It is an option; you can look up the benefits and possible risks online too.}}

===Chris on the nature of sin===
{{Email|From: Team CWCket <TeamCWCket@gmail.com>
Hey Chris, it's the girls from Team CWCket again! Sorry about the new e-mail - it turns out that football hooligans from over here in the UK hacked yourcricketteam.co.uk and sabotaged most of the mailboxes. If you tried to send us anything, you should use the new address.

Bit of a serious note this one - we were watching your video about [[Jack]] and [[Clyde]] after practice today, and you mentioned having a [[gal-pal]] who is a [[lesbian]]. As you can imagine, on an all-girl sports team sometimes there's... tensions and issues surrounding that particular subject, so I was wondering whether you had any insight you could offer us about it.

- How did you find out your friend was [[gay]]? 
- How did you react? 
- You seem very accepting of her lifestyle, and it sounds like you're more comfortable around her than you would be around male homosexuals. Why is that? 
- Do you think women should avoid lesbians in the same way you tend to keep a distance from male homosexuals, or should they get to know each other? 
- Are lesbians morally "better" than male homos? I know you are much more angry about the sort of acts male homosexuals perform.

Sorry that this one was a bit heavy, but it's caused a bit of debate on the team, so I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Keep a happy thought!

All your gal-pals on Team CWCket.}}
{{EmailReply|1) She told me herself. 2) I was surprised, but I accepted it soon after. 3) I was always less comfortable with men; one of my character flaws you may say. But regardless, I still detest homosexual men, yet I do not discriminate against them as individual people. 4) As long as the woman KNOWS fully that she is Straight and will remain that way, it is okay to be friends with lesbians; do not go beyond just friends. 5) Morally, yes.}}

===Balding issues===
{{Email|From: Mark Green <everydoor42@yahoo.com>
I'm in my twenties and have started going bald. I noticed you are balding too, and much more rapidly than I am. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I know a lot of guys, when they start losing their [[hair]], shave it all off, but you've embraced your thining hairline. How did you do that? How did you come to accept your hair loss and the shame attached to it? I'll appreciate any help you can offer me as a man who is also suffering through baldness.}}
{{EmailReply|I generally do not think about balding issues; as long as I still have mine, it is good. Yet when it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge.}}

===In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day===
{{Email|From: Doug Bunny <since1915@yahoo.com>
How often do you play with toys (how many hours, per day, would you say you spend, on average, playing with toys)?}}
{{EmailReply|I don't know, about 2 or 3, I Estimate.}}

===Chris on mindless materialism===
{{Email|From: naturalelection@aol.com
What do you want for your 28th birthday? Do you know if your friends are planning to do anything special for you?}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know yet of what I want to do, and I will learn of any plans when they come up.}}

===Magi-Chan is gay===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Hey CWC!

Thanks for answering my previous questions, but i have some more.

1) Why is it [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Blake]] didn't attend Dating Education?

2) If all of the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] had a huge fight, who would win?

Please reply soon!
Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|1) Blake is in his relationship with [[Bubbles]]; he did not need to take the class. Magi-Chan keeps to himself mostly; he did not see fit to take the class. 2) I am not sure.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris's disgusting home===
{{Email|From: privatesnazz@aol.com

How can your kitchen be so filthy? I wouldn't eat anything that comes out of it, and you should be ashamed to put it up on the internet.}}

===Straight guys don't drink their own semen===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>

Chris, only one of the images in New York was photoshopped. There were like five total. Do the math.

New York still knows that you drink your own semen, and thus they all think that you're gay.

Also, there was an image of your mother put up. How's she reacting?}}
{{EmailReply|I am Straight, regardless of how much the [[Trolls]] may try to defile and slander my image.}}

{{Mailbag}}

File:Najnjaacd.jpg

2015-02-08T21:28:30Z

Gunter:

File:2gtp2l4.jpg

2015-02-08T21:27:37Z

Gunter:

South Park

2015-01-11T09:13:54Z

Gunter:

[[File:ChrisChanSP.png|800px|center]]
{{Quote|Hey, [[Vivian]]. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the [[Stress|less dramatic]], [[Random-access humor|more comical]] episodes. ROFL|Chris<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CADD_Chef.jpg|thumb|"Grade-F destruction"? Really?]]

'''''South Park''''' is a popular animated comedy program on Comedy Central. [[Chris]] is an avowed fan of the series. His collection of [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network video downloads]] and [[Netflix]] downloads include dozens of ''South Park'' episodes, and he's swiped both its content and style on more than one occasion in his comics.

==South Park in ''Sonichu''==

===Beel===

{{main|Beel}}

Beel is the receptionist at the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. His appearance seems to be somewhat based on the [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Satan|Satan]] character on ''South Park'', with the exception of his lack of facial hair and cloven hooves as featured on Satan. The Satan character on the show is a [[homos|homo]], and was engaged in love affairs with [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Saddam Hussein|Saddam Hussein]] and other male characters. In Sonichu 10, Beel uses the line "where I was going to go, Detroit?"<ref>''[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]'', [[:File:SchuComic10P32.jpg|p. 32]].</ref> As Chris himself has confirmed, this is a plagiarism from a [[Wikipedia:Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?|South Park episode]].<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>

===CADD Chef===
{{main|CADD Chef}}
CADD Chef is a minor villain. One can easily tell that this character (although based on Kene Meniru, one of Chris's teachers at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]) is a blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Isaac Hayes|Isaac Hayes]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Chef (South Park)|Chef]]" character from ''South Park'', not just in appearance but also in one of his quotes.

===[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]===

The title of Chris's gallery of hideous Rule 34 is copied from the title of the [[video game]] ''[[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|South Park: Chef's Luv Shack]]''.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===

[[Wikipedia:Stan Marsh|Stan]], [[Ruckersville, VA|Kenny]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Cartman]], [[Niggos|Token]] and [[Sweetheart|Wendy]] make cameo appearances in the "Dating Education" episode.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchuComic10P7.jpg Sonichu 9]</ref>

==Chris fails to grasp ''South Park''==

After the release of Chris's audio recording of his [[April 2010]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|confrontation with Michael Snyder]], [[Vivian Gee]] used that audio to compose a parody video, setting the recording to a ''South Park''-style animation that featured Chris in the role of a bigoted Cartman-esque character.

Chris commented on the video's [[YouTube]] page, having fundamentally missed the point: "I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY!"

It appears that Chris doesn't understand the show's presentation of characters like Cartman. While Cartman (and to a lesser extent his friends, when they're in their more sociopathic modes) is meant to come across as a selfish little snot devoid of any redeeming qualities, Chris apparently views him as some kind of role model or example of appropriately entertaining behavior, hence his obvious pleasure at the comparison Vivian's video created. Further evidence of Chris having a positive view of Cartman appears in [[Mailbag_35#In_which_Chris_tells_us_that_we_need_to_go_look_up_what_he_stole_from|Mailbag 35]], where Chris seems to see Cartman as a good Christian looking to save the souls of rest of the children on the show.<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be Liquid in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons." This comes from another episode of South Park called "Best Friends Forever", where, after a satire of the Terri Schiavo controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his PSP. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. It should be noted that although Chris undoubtedly believes South Park is anti gay, the show itself actually preached tolerance towards homosexuals in the episode "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride", which was only the fourth episode of the show's run and introduced the recurring character Big Gay Al, who has been portrayed positively in each of his appearances. In addition, the show openly supported gay marriage in the 2005 episode "Follow That Egg". Show creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are members of the Libertarian Party, which is known for their support of gay marriage, and would probably be none too pleased with Chris's interpretation of the show's stance on homosexuality.

==Other mentions==
*Chris left [[IRC (16 October 2008)]] because "[[Wikipedia:Breast Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]]" was coming on. He used a quote from this episode ("I am going to shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear!") in [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*During a chat, [[PandaHalo|Panda]] suggested to Chris to put a butt plug inside his ass in order to prevent himself from releasing flatulence. Chris declined, saying that "constriction of the gas-release can result in spontaneous combustion",<ref name=IRC27Dec2008 /> a belief he most likely picked from the South Park episode [[Wikipedia:Spontaneous Combustion (South Park)|''Spontaneous Combustion'']].
*Chris bought [[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|''South Park: Chef's Luv Shack'']]
*Chris bought the "When Technology Attacks!" [[PSP|UMD]].<ref>[[List of Chris's games]]</ref>
*Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Make Love, Not Warcraft|''World of Warcraft'']]<ref name=IRC27Dec2008>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> and [[Wikipedia:Guitar Queer-O|''Guitar Hero'']]<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> episodes.
*Chris imitated [[Wikipedia:List_of_other_South_Park_residents#Towelie|Towelie]] and criticised [[Wikipedia:Kenny McCormick|Kenny]] in [[CWCFlyingElephants]].
*Chris told [[Clyde]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]], "You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like Eric Cartman, and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul Dual LightSabre]]."<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>; Cartman's oinking is in reference to "[[Wikipedia:Scott Tenorman Must Die|Scott Tenorman Must Die]]".
*''Scott Tenorman Must Die'' was also referenced by Chris while talking to [[BlueSpike]]. BlueSpike (posing as Max) wanted to Chris to burn down his house. Chris did not want to that, so he began to sing "I'm a Little Piggy", hoping that this would satisfy BlueSpike.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself#Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)]]</ref> In the aforementioned South Park episode, Scott makes Cartman sing the the same song for his own amusement.
*Chris referred to Randy Marsh's "naggers" controversy ("[[Wikipedia:With Apologies to Jesse Jackson|With Apologies to Jesse Jackson]]").<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]]</ref>
*He created a ''[[Guitar Hero]] South Park'' [[Quizzes|quiz]].
*He used Cartman's catchphrase "You’re breaking my balls here" in [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]].
*He got Panda a musical card where Cartman/Jennifer Lopez sing the "Taco Flavored Kisses" song from "[[Wikipedia:Fat Butt and Pancake Head|Fat Butt and Pancake Head]]."<ref>[[Clyde E-mails]]</ref>
*On 30 [[October 2013]], Chris wrote that one of the reasons he doesn't commit suicide is because "premature death leaves one in Limbo".<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts# Reality Comes Knocking]]</ref> This belief does not cohere with the protestant theology of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Church]], according to which salvation is achieved by faith alone. However, it is in line with the South Park episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is revealed that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.
*In [[Chris Calls Clyde Out]], Chris mocks Clyde by impersonating him as [[Wikipedia:Tuong Lu Kim|Tuong Lu Kim]], a South Park character.

==See also==
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
*''[[Family Guy]]''
*[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[Getting Foam Ed‎]]
*[[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[Quizzes#Guitar_Hero_South_Park|''Guitar Hero South Park'' MyBUZZ! quiz]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

User talk:Asperhes

2015-01-05T00:15:10Z

Gunter: Created page with "==Spamming the recent changes== Hi, use the "Show preview" button, please. Your numerous minor edits make the recent changes hard to read. --~~~~"

==Spamming the recent changes==
Hi, use the "Show preview" button, please. Your numerous minor edits make the recent changes hard to read. --[[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 00:15, 5 January 2015 (UTC)

July 25, 2014 Leaks

2014-12-21T15:54:26Z

Gunter:

{{Incomplete}}

On 25 July 2014, a notable [[CWCki Forums]] member Marvin dropped content about a conversation between Chris and his friend.

==The Conversation==
===June 28-29===

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
What is this task?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright. [censored] has set up a new OKCupid account for me with some info in the Profile, which I updated some of which. She had chosen and contacted a few women on there, but her choices were, shall we say, visible mite over a guessing 200 per woman (I state that with no offense meant to any of them). I prefer the average to slender; Maybe some small amount of tummy over, you may understand. [censored] gave up on contacting women for me; she did try very well to help me the best she was able to. I got a spot of nerve to contact a few myself, but no one replied. I asked [censored]; entrusted her with the details; she must have been too busy with her own life.

Now, I am settling for the "rest", so to speak. I am STILL very shy, and I have been very busy and stressed lately. I am asking you to find and contact some women local to me (with at least 50% match, and acceptable body type; no black women (not a racist; I just really do not feel comfortable dating them, and I have hung out with a few black women in my time; I [message cuts off]

Also, to take you up on your previous offer, can you PayPal me $20 for Gasoline, or rush a Sheetz gift card of the amount? The tank in our van is running low.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I thought you had money now. how do you expect me to help contact women? i don't know anybody in virginia. i'm sorry [censored] didn't visit you.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Money has become tight again; went through the commission from Jennifer quick; a drawing piece with her drag race car. $200 went quick in my mother's shopping list and food, as well as the payment on my Toys R Store [sic] card.

Anyway...

You do not have to know anything about here to pretend to be me in a greeting. Do what you would normally do when flirting with a woman to get her response. I may even learn from you. All I'm asking is for you to find them and begin conversations with the first message. You won't have to send more than one message per woman.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I find it awkward and difficult for me to make the first conversation move in the message. I seem to come off awkward or something. They're not responding.

Just do what is normal: spot the best matches (high income with a job for her would be good), start the conversation with your version if [sic] "Hey there, Good-Lookin"" [sic] or whatever, and flirty openers.

OKCupid finds the women in Virginia. You don't have to know them personally. Check their Profile, Photos and Details. Oh, and Do Not answer any questions on OKC's Q&A set; I have already answered hundreds of them.

Fair enough?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Chris, you're asking me to commit fraud by false identity by pretending to be you. what kind of groceries does your mom need $200 for??!!}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright forget the money. It is not fraud. All I am asking is making Greetings, Not entire conversations. I am not a flirting artist, and I more often than naught [sic] Blank Mind Out and Freeze Up.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Look, here's the info; log in and see for yourself.

Username: 
LevelUpKing 
[censored]}}

[censored]: Look, i can give you advice on what you should say, but i'm not going to do it for you.

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright. I am listening.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Don't use pickup lines. just tell her you think she's cool and you want to chat.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
The way you put it looked stilted and unnatural, have you listened to how people actually talk?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I have listened to how people talk throughout my life. Stilt and Unnatural; NOW do you see why I require Someone else to do the greetings for me, or that SHE has to make the first move?!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
It was just so... Fake. you can't just be talking to them to get a girlfriend. you need to be genuinely interested in the person and stop being self conscious and she'll talk to you. asking for a beverage date in the first message is a bad idea. i meant just chat in messages. it looks like you only know how to talk about yourself. ask her what her favorite things are and why she likes them and she'll blab for ages.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am well aware to let her talk about herself and all that. I was not meaning to sound fake; it is called sincerity.

Yeah, in any case, it is Not that simple.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I'm sorry to tell you this, but i'm not a big ladies man myself. i only have gal pals.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
What?!! I thought this whole time you were the total opposite of what you are saying now.

Seriously?!....

UGH!!! You are really letting the oxygen out of my tank here!!!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Why did you think that? i told you those things when you first contacted me. in any case the stuff i'm telling you is not irrelevant. i used to be like you and had to learn how to socialize. tell me, do you really want to have a beverage with strangers you don't evem [sic] know yet from a dating site?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Call me Old, and Old-Fashioned, but I Super Seriously Feel that conversation over a light beverage in a public place shortly after first contact, IS FAR SUPERIOR. Why the hell (now after all of the deceptive theoretical exes I have had to suffer after each breakup before meeting; all of them never really got to know me In Person. The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter. [sic]

I will not be having extensive conversations with damn faking Anons (for all I would know) upon initial; SHE HAS to Meet Me In Person Near Immediately, and therefore I extend the invitation to a pleasant conversation and light beverage in the public setting. I am NOT going to wait WEEKS TO MONTHS to Hopefully meet up, only to be Broken Up before we even Really got started AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
UGH!!!!

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. [''sic (as in he really sent this three times)'']}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
That girl with the fake chris was kacey. they were both trolls. she never cared about you. i hate dating sites. don't they go against your beliefts of meeting people in person?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Do you think [censored] likes you?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Who?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
That girl defending your Facebook statuses, she looks legit. i think you should private message her and tell her thank you. she likes legos.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
??? 
I can't find her; does she have a username different from "[censored]?"}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am drawing Mazarea in a "Flight Over Cwcville" with Angelica now.

Shortly after this is done, Bananasaur plays Scrabble with [[Punchy]].}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Her username is [censored] (on your violin status)}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Those drawings sound awesome. can we pm on Facebook? it takes a long time for me to text.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Found her; she's okay looking in her photos. I'll ask you to communicate with her further to verify her identity, and let you get back to me.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Nah, I'm not changing my window, and besides I will need to get back to work.

BTW...}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Seriously, though, for your consideration, do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself, TWICE. Now I don't feel as bad, because I won't be dying an untouched virgin. And I have not obsessed about sex so much since then.

Plus, she was a nice woman (the one I did it with); caring mother of two; half Cherokee; she was really good. You pick yourself a winner from your local area, kid. Give yourself the life-changing event, and you won't have to worry about it anymore. Alright, I'll check ya later.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
You're talking about a prostitute! do you even know how horrible that is?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
[censored] told me she is not a troll.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Quote me now: [[F Abstinance|Abstinence]] is a Really Big, Bad Joke.

I will need more to go on than "I am not a troll"

Anyway, take my advice as you will and suit yourself. But I am serious: Abstinence is a Really Big, Horrible Joke.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
id you finish the drawings?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Yes}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
They will be shipped as late as this coming Tuesday.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
All four of them have their certificates and are in a yellow envelope with your name and address on it.}}

===June 30===

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
So they are all in the post office?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am afraid not yet, because I am still short funded. To make sure my family and I were fed after the last paid commission input, I required a more quick way to withdraw from PayPal than transferring to the bank(two or so DAYS). And I found out Target online accepts PayPal, so I purchased gift cards to buy us food more swiftly. Too much. We will be getting our SSI tomorrow, or I may finally get a check in the mail from a dude who intends to buy the violin. He mailed it like last Tuesday from CT. Not sure if it's US or Canada CT or whatever.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Text me when it all ships.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Will do}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I am sorry i overreacted. i was slow in the mind and had bad judgement.}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

==External Links==
*[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fun-chris-conversation-dropped-july-25-2014.4389/ Source and thread on the CWCki Forums]

July 25, 2014 Leaks

2014-12-21T15:53:35Z

Gunter: /* The Conversation */

{{Incomplete}}

On 25 July 2014, a notable [[CWCki Forums]] member Marvin dropped content about a conversation between Chris and his friend.

==The Conversation==
===June 28-29===

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
What is this task?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright. [censored] has set up a new OKCupid account for me with some info in the Profile, which I updated some of which. She had chosen and contacted a few women on there, but her choices were, shall we say, visible mite over a guessing 200 per woman (I state that with no offense meant to any of them). I prefer the average to slender; Maybe some small amount of tummy over, you may understand. [censored] gave up on contacting women for me; she did try very well to help me the best she was able to. I got a spot of nerve to contact a few myself, but no one replied. I asked [censored]; entrusted her with the details; she must have been too busy with her own life.

Now, I am settling for the "rest", so to speak. I am STILL very shy, and I have been very busy and stressed lately. I am asking you to find and contact some women local to me (with at least 50% match, and acceptable body type; no black women (not a racist; I just really do not feel comfortable dating them, and I have hung out with a few black women in my time; I [message cuts off]

Also, to take you up on your previous offer, can you PayPal me $20 for Gasoline, or rush a Sheetz gift card of the amount? The tank in our van is running low.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I thought you had money now. how do you expect me to help contact women? i don't know anybody in virginia. i'm sorry [censored] didn't visit you.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Money has become tight again; went through the commission from Jennifer quick; a drawing piece with her drag race car. $200 went quick in my mother's shopping list and food, as well as the payment on my Toys R Store [sic] card.

Anyway...

You do not have to know anything about here to pretend to be me in a greeting. Do what you would normally do when flirting with a woman to get her response. I may even learn from you. All I'm asking is for you to find them and begin conversations with the first message. You won't have to send more than one message per woman.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I find it awkward and difficult for me to make the first conversation move in the message. I seem to come off awkward or something. They're not responding.

Just do what is normal: spot the best matches (high income with a job for her would be good), start the conversation with your version if [sic] "Hey there, Good-Lookin"" [sic] or whatever, and flirty openers.

OKCupid finds the women in Virginia. You don't have to know them personally. Check their Profile, Photos and Details. Oh, and Do Not answer any questions on OKC's Q&A set; I have already answered hundreds of them.

Fair enough?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Chris, you're asking me to commit fraud by false identity by pretending to be you. what kind of groceries does your mom need $200 for??!!}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright forget the money. It is not fraud. All I am asking is making Greetings, Not entire conversations. I am not a flirting artist, and I more often than naught [sic] Blank Mind Out and Freeze Up.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Look, here's the info; log in and see for yourself.

Username: 
LevelUpKing 
[censored]}}

[censored]: Look, i can give you advice on what you should say, but i'm not going to do it for you.

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Alright. I am listening.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Don't use pickup lines. just tell her you think she's cool and you want to chat.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
The way you put it looked stilted and unnatural, have you listened to how people actually talk?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I have listened to how people talk throughout my life. Stilt and Unnatural; NOW do you see why I require Someone else to do the greetings for me, or that SHE has to make the first move?!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
It was just so... Fake. you can't just be talking to them to get a girlfriend. you need to be genuinely interested in the person and stop being self conscious and she'll talk to you. asking for a beverage date in the first message is a bad idea. i meant just chat in messages. it looks like you only know how to talk about yourself. ask her what her favorite things are and why she likes them and she'll blab for ages.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am well aware to let her talk about herself and all that. I was not meaning to sound fake; it is called sincerity.

Yeah, in any case, it is Not that simple.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I'm sorry to tell you this, but i'm not a big ladies man myself. i only have gal pals.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
What?!! I thought this whole time you were the total opposite of what you are saying now.

Seriously?!....

UGH!!! You are really letting the oxygen out of my tank here!!!}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Why did you think that? i told you those things when you first contacted me. in any case the stuff i'm telling you is not irrelevant. i used to be like you and had to learn how to socialize. tell me, do you really want to have a beverage with strangers you don't evem [sic] know yet from a dating site?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Call me Old, and Old-Fashioned, but I Super Seriously Feel that conversation over a light beverage in a public place shortly after first contact, IS FAR SUPERIOR. Why the hell (now after all of the deceptive theoretical exes I have had to suffer after each breakup before meeting; all of them never really got to know me In Person. The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter. [sic]

I will not be having extensive conversations with damn faking Anons (for all I would know) upon initial; SHE HAS to Meet Me In Person Near Immediately, and therefore I extend the invitation to a pleasant conversation and light beverage in the public setting. I am NOT going to wait WEEKS TO MONTHS to Hopefully meet up, only to be Broken Up before we even Really got started AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
UGH!!!!

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad.

Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. [''sic (as in he really sent this three times)'']}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
That girl with the fake chris was kacey. they were both trolls. she never cared about you. i hate dating sites. don't they go against your beliefts of meeting people in person?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Do you think [censored] likes you?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Who?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
That girl defending your Facebook statuses, she looks legit. i think you should private message her and tell her thank you. she likes legos.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
??? 
I can't find her; does she have a username different from "[censored]?"}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am drawing Mazarea in a "Flight Over Cwcville" with Angelica now.

Shortly after this is done, Bananasaur plays Scrabble with [[Punchy]].}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Her username is [censored] (on your violin status)}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Those drawings sound awesome. can we pm on Facebook? it takes a long time for me to text.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Found her; she's okay looking in her photos. I'll ask you to communicate with her further to verify her identity, and let you get back to me.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Nah, I'm not changing my window, and besides I will need to get back to work.

BTW...}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Seriously, though, for your consideration, do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself, TWICE. Now I don't feel as bad, because I won't be dying an untouched virgin. And I have not obsessed about sex so much since then.

Plus, she was a nice woman (the one I did it with); caring mother of two; half Cherokee; she was really good. You pick yourself a winner from your local area, kid. Give yourself the life-changing event, and you won't have to worry about it anymore. Alright, I'll check ya later.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
You're talking about a prostitute! do you even know how horrible that is?}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
[censored] told me she is not a troll.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Quote me now: [[F Abstinance|Abstinence]] is a Really Big, Bad Joke.

I will need more to go on than "I am not a troll"

Anyway, take my advice as you will and suit yourself. But I am serious: Abstinence is a Really Big, Horrible Joke.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
id you finish the drawings?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Yes}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
They will be shipped as late as this coming Tuesday.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
All four of them have their certificates and are in a yellow envelope with your name and address on it.}}

===June 30===

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
So they are all in the post office?}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
I am afraid not yet, because I am still short funded. To make sure my family and I were fed after the last paid commission input, I required a more quick way to withdraw from PayPal than transferring to the bank(two or so DAYS). And I found out Target online accepts PayPal, so I purchased gift cards to buy us food more swiftly. Too much. We will be getting our SSI tomorrow, or I may finally get a check in the mail from a dude who intends to buy the violin. He mailed it like last Tuesday from CT. Not sure if it's US or Canada CT or whatever.}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
Text me when it all ships.}}

{{Quotebox|cwc:
Will do}}

{{Quoteboxred|[censored]:
I am sorry i overreacted. i was slow in the mind and had bad judgement.}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

===External Links===
*[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fun-chris-conversation-dropped-july-25-2014.4389/ Source and thread on the CWCki Forums]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:41:03Z

Gunter: /* Colin E-mails */

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|'''Re: Just checking'''
From: Shaina Cohen 
To: Christian Chandler

28 Sep 2014 at 7:30 PM
----
Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014 at 6:18 PM
----
Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler 
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|'''Re: Just checking'''
28 Sep 2014 at 9:28 PM 
To: Shaina Cohen
----
I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014
----
You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen,
to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine

29 Sep 2014
----
I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|29 Sep 2014
----
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

29 Sep 2014
----
But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''Now I fear worse'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|30 Sep 2014
----
That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Trust me, just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm not sure'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina, has Colon ['''sic'''] emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.

Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|
30 Sep 2014
----
I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

{{collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
}}

==Colin E-mails==
{{Quotebox|'''Hello, Colin'''
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 10:46 PM, chrischansonichu wrote:
----
You may or may not have heard of me from Catherine, or you don’t know me. But Shaina and Rebeckah know me! I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, VA]]; artist, crafter, and creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, and my city of [[Cwcville]], VA, USA, with a comic book series, websites lost to [[Trolls|cyber-bullies]]; [[Chris and his Ego|I am Very Famous Worldwide for Good and Bad!]]

Anyway, Catherine and I have been getting on knowing each other, growing mutual deep emotions and fondness with mutual care and respect, for over a month now. Recent events have her feeling off, and I Really Wish for her and mine relationship to be Forever Lasting. Your Possible Flirtatious Actions and Wealthy Tricks with Deceptions are NOT helpful in the situation! As I have a lot of worry and care and respect for her Very Much! Not only That, but I fully support her for the Orientation she is, as well as The Sweetest, Kindest and most True and Pure Soul that she is! I can only imagine that your [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Cold]], [[Monthly Tugboat|Money-Filled]] [[Anne Boleyn|Blue Blood]] will not satisfy or fulfill her emotional needs. She and I are a great 95+% Match from the over one thousand questions we both have answered on our OKCupid Profiles! You can never top that!

If you have any shred of a heart or respect as a human being, I would deeply appreciate it if you would be repellant to Catherine, and encourage her to stay with the one who can Emotionally Support Her Fully and Utmost! 
Me!

Thank You, and I will wish you a good and safe day for now.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
On Sep 29, 2014, at 10:54 PM, Colin Bryce Boyle wrote:
----
LOL. Did someone put you up to this? This is a joke, right?}}

{{Quotebox|
From: <chrischansonichu
Date: Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 10:57 PM
Subject: Re: Hello, Colin.
To: Colin Bryce Boyle
----
No! I am Very Serious! Shaina has told me about you inviting her and Catherine for a sail on your boat, and possibly making it to La Cirque. Please, with due respect, tell me what has been going on with you and Catherine the while.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Colin Bryce Boyle to chrischansonicu

29 Sep 2014
----
First you insult me by saying how my 'cold, money filled blue blood....blah, blah, blah...then you make a veiled [[Death threats|threat]] (you wish me a good and safe day for now, wtf?).

I don’t appreciate your attitude, and I’m not telling you squat. None of this is any of your business anyway.}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
I apologize for sounding threatening, but she is my Sweetheart, as always First in My Heart. I have been worrying about her since Thursday. With due respect, this is Very Much My Business! That is MY Girlfriend, Sweetheart, Heartthrob and Truest Love of My Entire Life. I have every right to know what has been happening, and to confirm that she is safe and well, especially directly from her. For all I know about you, you could be some sort of women heartbreaking [[playboy]] with little to no regard or care for any of the women whose hearts have been broken!

Now, Please tell me, AND Shaina, what has been happening with Catherine, Immediately!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Colin Bryce Boyle
29 Sep 2014
----
If you want to talk to Catherine, you can call her yourself. If she doesn't want to talk to you, I'm not going to force her. I’m not your personal messenger.
}}

{{Collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
}}
 
{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:40:34Z

Gunter: /* Colin E-mails */

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|'''Re: Just checking'''
From: Shaina Cohen 
To: Christian Chandler

28 Sep 2014 at 7:30 PM
----
Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014 at 6:18 PM
----
Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler 
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|'''Re: Just checking'''
28 Sep 2014 at 9:28 PM 
To: Shaina Cohen
----
I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014
----
You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen,
to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine

29 Sep 2014
----
I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|29 Sep 2014
----
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

29 Sep 2014
----
But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''Now I fear worse'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|30 Sep 2014
----
That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Trust me, just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm not sure'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina, has Colon ['''sic'''] emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.

Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|
30 Sep 2014
----
I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

{{collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
}}

==Colin E-mails==
{{Quotebox|'''Hello, Colin'''
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 10:46 PM, chrischansonichu wrote:
----
You may or may not have heard of me from Catherine, or you don’t know me. But Shaina and Rebeckah know me! I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, VA]]; artist, crafter, and creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, and my city of [[Cwcville]], VA, USA, with a comic book series, websites lost to [[Trolls|cyber-bullies]]; [[Chris and his Ego|I am Very Famous Worldwide for Good and Bad!]]

Anyway, Catherine and I have been getting on knowing each other, growing mutual deep emotions and fondness with mutual care and respect, for over a month now. Recent events have her feeling off, and I Really Wish for her and mine relationship to be Forever Lasting. Your Possible Flirtatious Actions and Wealthy Tricks with Deceptions are NOT helpful in the situation! As I have a lot of worry and care and respect for her Very Much! Not only That, but I fully support her for the Orientation she is, as well as The Sweetest, Kindest and most True and Pure Soul that she is! I can only imagine that your [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Cold]], [[Monthly Tugboat|Money-Filled]] [[Anne Boleyn|Blue Blood]] will not satisfy or fulfill her emotional needs. She and I are a great 95+% Match from the over one thousand questions we both have answered on our OKCupid Profiles! You can never top that!

If you have any shred of a heart or respect as a human being, I would deeply appreciate it if you would be repellant to Catherine, and encourage her to stay with the one who can Emotionally Support Her Fully and Utmost! 
Me!

Thank You, and I will wish you a good and safe day for now.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
On Sep 29, 2014, at 10:54 PM, Colin Bryce Boyle wrote:
----
LOL. Did someone put you up to this? This is a joke, right?}}

{{Quotebox|
From: <chrischansonichu
Date: Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 10:57 PM
Subject: Re: Hello, Colin.
To: Colin Bryce Boyle
----
No! I am Very Serious! Shaina has told me about you inviting her and Catherine for a sail on your boat, and possibly making it to La Cirque. Please, with due respect, tell me what has been going on with you and Catherine the while.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Colin Bryce Boyle to chrischansonicu

29 Sep 2014
----
First you insult me by saying how my 'cold, money filled blue blood....blah, blah, blah...then you make a veiled [[Death threats|threat]] (you wish me a good and safe day for now, wtf?).

I don’t appreciate your attitude, and I’m not telling you squat. None of this is any of your business anyway.}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
I apologize for sounding threatening, but she is my Sweetheart, as always First in My Heart. I have been worrying about her since Thursday. With due respect, this is Very Much My Business! That is MY Girlfriend, Sweetheart, Heartthrob and Truest Love of My Entire Life. I have every right to know what has been happening, and to confirm that she is safe and well, especially directly from her. For all I know about you, you could be some sort of women heartbreaking [[playboy]] with little to no regard or care for any of the women whose hearts have been broken!

Now, Please tell me, AND Shaina, what has been happening with Catherine, Immediately!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|Colin Bryce Boyle
29 Sep 2014
----
If you want to talk to Catherine, you can call her yourself. If she doesn't want to talk to you, I'm not going to force her. I’m not your personal messenger.
}}

{{Collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
}}
 
{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:23:37Z

Gunter: /* Shaina E-mails */

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|'''Re: Just checking'''
From: Shaina Cohen 
To: Christian Chandler

28 Sep 2014 at 7:30 PM
----
Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014 at 6:18 PM
----
Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler 
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|'''Re: Just checking'''
28 Sep 2014 at 9:28 PM 
To: Shaina Cohen
----
I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014
----
You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen,
to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine

29 Sep 2014
----
I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|29 Sep 2014
----
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

29 Sep 2014
----
But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''Now I fear worse'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|30 Sep 2014
----
That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Trust me, just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm not sure'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina, has Colon ['''sic'''] emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.

Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|
30 Sep 2014
----
I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

{{collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
}}

==Colin E-mails==
{{incomplete}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:23:22Z

Gunter: /* Shaina E-mails */

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
{{incomplete}}
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|'''Re: Just checking'''
From: Shaina Cohen 
To: Christian Chandler

28 Sep 2014 at 7:30 PM
----
Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014 at 6:18 PM
----
Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler 
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|'''Re: Just checking'''
28 Sep 2014 at 9:28 PM 
To: Shaina Cohen
----
I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014
----
You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014
----
I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014
----
Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen,
to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine

29 Sep 2014
----
I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|29 Sep 2014
----
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

29 Sep 2014
----
But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''Now I fear worse'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|30 Sep 2014
----
That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014
----
Christian,

Trust me, just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm not sure'''

29 Sep 2014
----
I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina, has Colon ['''sic'''] emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014
----
Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.

Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|
30 Sep 2014
----
I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

{{collapsible|Gallery|
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
}}

==Colin E-mails==
{{incomplete}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:18:35Z

Gunter: /* Shaina E-mails */ cleaned up shit

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
{{incomplete}}
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|'''Re: Just checking'''
From: Shaina Cohen 
To: Christian Chandler

28 Sep 2014 at 7:30 PM

Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014 at 6:18 PM
Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler 
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|'''Re: Just checking'''
28 Sep 2014 at 9:28 PM 
To: Shaina Cohen

I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014

You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|28 Sep 2014
You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

28 Sep 2014

I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
29 Sep 2014

Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen,
to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine

29 Sep 2014

I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014

I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|29 Sep 2014
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

29 Sep 2014

But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''Now I fear worse'''

29 Sep 2014

I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014

Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|30 Sep 2014

That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

30 Sep 2014

Christian,

Trust me, just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm not sure'''

29 Sep 2014

I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina, has Colon ['''sic'''] emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone 
Stay Safe, 
Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|
Shaina Cohen to Christian

29 Sep 2014

Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.

Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|
30 Sep 2014

I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Colin E-mails==
{{incomplete}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T15:04:15Z

Gunter: /* Shaina E-mails */

{{Incomplete}}

==Renee E-mails==
The following contains e-mails between Chris and Renee, who is either a [[sweetheart]] or an identity created by [[trolls]].

===Repiercing The Taint===
On 4 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he repierced his [[Unclit|taint]] with gold jewelry.

{{quotebox|
Hey, Renee! 1:42 PM

I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today. 1:44 PM

Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either. 1:44 PM

I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and 1:45 PM

safe day. 1:45 PM}}
===No Longer Together With [[Catherine]]===
On 10 [[December 2014]], Chris confirmed that he and Catherine (a fake [[sweetheart]] created by [[trolls]]) were no longer together.

{{quotebox|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with 9:54 PM

me; essentially dumping me. She took this from when I reacted when she went out with Colinn in New York; I was still learning the understanding of being in an 9:55 PM

open relationship. I Have learned from the mistakes and improved, yet she said half to the relationship with me. 9:55 PM

I am hurting in my heart right now. I'll check in with you later. 9:55 PM }}

===End of the Un-clit===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris revealed that he gave up on the [[Un-clit|piercing]].

{{quotebox|

I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am 6:05 AM

giving up on that piercing now. 6:05 AM}}
===Trolls are hacking his text messages===
On 14 [[December 2014]], in his usual paranoia Chris thought that trolls were hacking into his text messages.
{{quotebox|

<nowiki><Subject: **Breaking the fourth wall**></nowiki> - Hey Trolls, I Know you all are hacking into my text messages and pinning my women friends as trolls themselves. Your tricks and cons will not work on me ever again. 12:29 AM

<Subject: Because, of you Trolls> - I do not care or give a crap. 12:30 AM

Renee, don't worry about the Trolls; they are always looking into hackery and crap. I don't care what they want to think or hate about me, regardless of what I 12:32 AM

say or feel. You shouldn't worry about them either. 12:32 AM }}

===Modelling Career===
On the same day, he asked Renee to help him in his modelling career.
{{quotebox|

Also, would you help me put together a modeling portfolio, and teach me to become more sex positive 4:53 PM

and all that like we talked about before? 4:54 PM}}

==Shaina E-mails==
{{incomplete}}
The following are the '''Open Relationship E-mails''' which are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 19 [[December 2014]].

{{Quoteboxred|
-Forwarded message-

From: Shaina Cohen

Date: Sun, Sep 28. 2014 at 7:30 PM

Subject: Re: Just checking

To: Christian Chandler

Hi Christian,

I actually haven't seen [[Catherine]] since about 3 this afternoon.

Nikki surprised Catherine by asking her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, and this afternoon we had a party to celebrate (more of a brunch really). After the party Colin (one of the groomsmen) asked Catherine and I to go sailing, followed by dinner afterwards. I told Colin and Catherine to go without me. because I was still feeling hung-over from the bachelorette party, and spending a few hours on the water with my queasy stomach [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|didn't sound very appealing]].

I tried calling Catherine a couple of times, but she's not answering her phone. Depending on what time she and Colin got back, they could still be having dinner (which would explain why her phone is turned off). I'm not sure which train she's catching to get home. I'll let you know when I hear from her.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|
On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 6:18 PM. Christian Chandler <ChrisChanSonichu wrote:

Please reply and let me know: how did Catherine look to feeling better upon leaving the bachelorette party ?

Stay Safe with Peace,

Christian W. Chandler
(sent from my iPod)
}}

{{Quotebox|
Date: Sun, Sep 28. 2014 at 9:28 PM
Subject: Re: Just checking
To: Shaina Cohen

I pray Colin is not trying [[Hanky-panky|anything funny]] on her, even though our relationship is open. I would continue to support her for [[China|who she is]] and everything. But I do not know [[JERK|who Colin is]], and I feel at unease with the risk of breaking up with me going on. I pray she doesn't fall for him or anything. **[[sigh]]** I am feeling worry over Catherine. Please Do keep me posted on her. And if you get in touch with her very soon, please tell her I am still sorry over what happened, I continue to pray for her safety and well-being, I worry about her. and I miss her a lot. Even though it has been like three days, it really feels like forever. You know what. I am going to text that to her right now!

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe.

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Sep 28
Shaina Cohen
to Christian

You don't have to worry about Colin. I've known him for a few years. He's a very nice guy from a very respectable (and wealthy) family. He's not the type of guy that would try anything inappropriate with Catherine. I still haven't heard from her, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong. She may have turned her phone off. and just forgotten to turn it on again. I've turned off my phone while at a movie, then forgotten to turn it on again afterwards.

I'm sure everything is fine.

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|You've just made me feel [[Stress|worse]]. Financial details were the subject of this dispute! Ugh!!!

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe.

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Shaina Cohen, Sep 28
to Christian

I'm sorry Christian, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just trying to reassure you that Colin was from a good family and was of good character. He's not the kind of person who would force himself on a woman. If he were the kind of person you're worried about. I would have said something to Catherine.

Shaina
}}

{{Quotebox|Sep 29

Well, there's not much else I can do. I've already texted her. I pray she responds soon. I understand her for being a strong and strong-willed woman, but I still worry and care about and for her.

When you called her phone; does it go straight to voicemail; that is how you know her phone is off or disabled? And have you tried calling Colin to check on her? Also, how soon from now is the wedding?}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''What's Going On With You?'''
Shaina Cohen, Sep 29

to colinbryceboyle, Christian, bcc: Catherine Q

I'm curious. What's going on with you and Catherine? I haven't heard from her since you and she left to go sailing. Did you end up taking her to Le Cirque?

Anyway, I've tried calling her and I texted her several times. She finally texted me a few hours ago. All she said was that she's going to be staying in the city for a few more days.

So dish.... what's going on? What have the two of you been up to?

Shaina}}

{{Quoteboxred|'''Please Ignore My Previous Email'''
Shaina Cohen, Sep 29

to Christian Q

I meant to cc Catherine and I cc'd you instead. Sorry,

Shaina}}

{{Quotebox|Sep 29
That's alright; I read it anyway. [[Lie|I promise not to contact Colin]].

And please forgive me if I am acting in a bit of. well, somewhat off or mal-content. but I am worrying about our relationship so much. And I am fearing that Colin may be turning Catherine on. Feel free to ignore the following request, but should Colin respond that he is attracting her well, I want you to tell him to be repellant to her. I feel certain he would not honor or respect her for the person and [[Homos|bisexual]] she is, nor would he offer her the open relationship with deepest care, fondness and loyalties to her that I have been. I wish I could afford to make a trip to New York myself to intervene with honor and stand up for our relationship, but too much responsibility here and lack of funds prevent me from much sorts of a rush and spontaneous trip.

UGH!!!

I appreciate you contacting him to find out more. Thank You.

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe.

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|'''I'm sorry'''

But my heart and my feelings are too powerful for me to keep that promise. I am going to contact Colin via email and tell him she has my heart and soul in her heart!

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quotebox|Now I fear worse
Sep 29 (3 days ago)
to me, Rebeckah Q
I told Colin I was Catherine was my Sweetheart; he'll likely tell Everyone on the Internet Now, and the Trolls and Bullies will spam Her email box! UGH! My intentions were good; I was really worried and concerned about her. But getting Trolled in the process, good intentions alone won't establish forgiveness. UGH!!! I Majorly Screwed Us Both Up!!! Got Dang It!!!

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe.

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Shaina Cohen .

to Christian Q

Christian,

Colin may be angry right now. but he's not a troll, and he's not going to give out Catherine's email address. He's not that kind of a person. Even if he is mad at you, I'm sure he wouldn't do that to her. He was abrupt with you because you kept pestering him and he got angry. Colin also has a very odd sense of humor, which can rub you the wrong way if you don't know him.

You've got nothing to worry about. I'm sure Catherine will be in touch with you.
}}

{{Quotebox|Sep 30 (2 days ago)
chrischansonichu * .. Sep 30 (2 days ago)

That's cool, I guess. I am going to apologize to Colon ['''sic'''] for jumping to conclus...}}

{{Quoteboxred|Shaina Cohen

to Christian @

Christian.
Sep 30 (2 days ago)
Trust me. just leave him alone for now.
}}

{{Quotebox|I'm not sure
Inbox x
□ f?

Sep 29 (3 days ago) 4s
chrischansonichu

to me, Rebeckah Q
I just called Catherine's phone; it rang a few times and then voicemail. I left her a message, letting her know Shaina and I contacted Colin, and that we've been worried about her: I Have Been Worried About Her!

Shaina. has Colon emailed you back?

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe.

Christian W. Chandler}}

{{Quoteboxred|Shaina Cohen

to Christian Q

Oh yeah, and he gave me shit about ccing you on that message.
n
Sep 29 (3 days ago)
Colin is a nice guy, but he can be a bit abrupt, especially if someone says something to piss him off. He says you keep bothering him. and that you've been insulting and made threats. If he thinks you're messing with him, he's not going to be very nice.

I really wish you had left this alone Christian. I tried to do you a favor by contacting Colin to try and find out what was going on. Now he's pissed at me and. as a result, he probably won't tell me anything.}}

{{Quotebox|chrischansonichu, Sep 30 (2 days ago) 4s
to me -

I am Royally Sorry! Ugh!!! Either my heart was in the right place, or I am Soo [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb and retarded]]!
}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_01.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_02.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_03.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_04.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_05.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_06.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_07.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_08.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_09.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_10.png
File:Shaina_28_Sept_2014_11.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Colin E-mails==
{{incomplete}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Collin part 01.png ‎
File:Collin part 02.png ‎
File:Collin part 03.png ‎
File:Collin part 04.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T14:59:31Z

Gunter: /* Shaina E-mails */

December 2014

2014-12-21T14:08:54Z

Gunter:

{{Ongoing}}
'''December''' is the twelfth and final month of 2014. Nothing much has happened in this month so far beyond Chris repiercing and later removing the un-clit, his announcement of moving back into 14 Branchland Court, and, of course, his intense hatred against blue-colored arms.

==Events==
* 1 December - Chris gushes over an online ''[[Family Guy|Animation Domination High Def]]'' parody called "HBO's ''Powerpuff Girls''", noting that ''"If they actually made a series of the PPGs in [[Chris and english|the]] [[She Came for CWC|adult situations]] and life, I would Totally watch every single one!"'' and not realizing it is just a parody not authorized by Cartoon Network themselves.
* 2 December - Chris uploads a video of himself playing ''Mario Kart 8'', once again.
* 3 December - Chris posted a [[medallion]] update in a shocking while. Chris later mentions on a [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Sonic.27s_Arms_Hatred:_The_Backstory|Facebook post]] that he has been in shock of the change in color to [[Sonic]]'s arms since February, and that he has been actively protesting against it since June/July of 2014, sending and commenting months "worth of time" and that they have yet to respond. He has called for more action to restore Sonic's arms to their original tan color, and announces he is [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#December_2014_Medallion_Update|"expecting to be moving back into [his] renovated house within the next couple of weeks"]].
* 4 December - Chris [[Un-clit#Repiercing_the_Taint|repierces his taint]] with [[Chris and money|gold piercing jewelry]].
* 5 December - Chris discovers [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#The_Second_Season|''Sonic Boom'' is getting a second season]], and...well, [[12 October 2009|just guess what happens]].
* 6 December - Chris [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#BOO.21.21.21|posts more idiotic hatred posts about ''Sonic Boom'']] and announces on Facebook that he is [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Move_Back_to_14BLC_has_officially_begun|moving back]] to a renovated [[14 Branchland Court]], and notes that any orders made between then and 1 January 2015 "will not be able to begin or fill them until close to or after that date."
* 9 December - A series of commissions drawn by Chris is uploaded to the forums. One of them is the receiver's OC scissoring [[Robbie]]. The thread later reveals that Chris IRL uses a homemade device to hold his [[duck]] in, which consists of a strap-on with the dildo removed.
* 10 December - Chris discovers a possible jab made to him in episode 7 of ''Sonic Boom''...and is actually [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Pickle_Joke|''neutral'' towards it]]. Later in the day, he sends a raging, mostly [[BILLY MAYS|ALL-CAPS]] letter to Sega, [[Sonic_Boom_Protests|begging them to change Sonic's arms again]]. On the same day, he [[Open Relationship E-mails#No_Longer_Together_With_Catherine|e-mailed to Renee]] that he and [[Catherine]] were no longer together.
* 12 December - Chris finally realizes piercing part of his taint isn't such a great idea after all, and as a result [[Un-clit#The_End_of_the_Un-clit|removes it completely]].
* 13 December - Chris once again [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#BMW_is_still_for_sale|placed his mom's BMW on sale]].
* 14 December - Chris thought that [[trolls]] were [[Open Relationship E-mails#Trolls_are_hacking_his_text_messages|hacking his text messages]]. Meanwhile, he asked Renee to [[Open Relationship E-mails#Modelling_Career|help him in his modelling career]].
* 15 December - [[Catherine E-mails|E-mails]] from Chris to [[Catherine]] are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]]. Then, Chris [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Don.27t_Ask.2C_Don.27t_Tell|posts on Facebook]] that he's "feeling crappy".
* 16 December - Pics of the [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|"Relationship Vow" card]] are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], showing Chris's vow to [[Catherine]] for their ''Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners''. Chris later [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Protesting_Sonic_Boom_on_Miiverse|continues his protest of Sonic Boom on Miiverse]].
* 17 December - [[Apology Letters‎|Three apology letters]] that Chris wrote to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Wal-Mart]] in August are leaked. Also leaked is a never-before-seen [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Christmas video]] filmed in 2004.
* 18 December - Chris [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Meme_Run|posts a long opinion piece on why he hates trolls and the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'']]. Meanwhile, it was leaked on the CWCki Forums that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had [[Catherine_E-mails#The_Gal_Pals_Weren.27t_the_First_Time_Bob_Hired_Friends_for_Chris|hired gal-pals for Chris]]. It was also leaked that [[Anna McLerran]] [[Anna_McLerran#Anti-troll_plea_to_Catie|was trying to dislodge Catherine and she would appeal for Catherine's humanity.]]
* 25 December - [[Christmas]].

==The Commissions Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
File:Set1pic1.jpg|[[eBay|Commissioner's]] OC, à la Chris.
File:Set1pic1back.png
File:Set1pic2.jpg|It's nice to know Chris's [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]] hasn't changed, over the years.
File:Set1pic3.jpg|Something about this scene looks a little [[Sub-Episode 2|familiar]]...
File:Set1pic4.jpg|Chris: still a staple of [[Women's rights|women's rights]].
File:Set2Pic1.jpg|Remember, kids, vandalism is [[List of places that have banned Chris|way past cool]]!
File:Set2Pic2.jpg|Annnnd [[Chris and english|walls of text]].
File:Set2Pic3.jpg
File:Set2Pic4.jpg|Is she scissoring his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|butthole]]?
</gallery>
</center>
{{clear}}
{{timeline}}

Catherine

2014-12-21T14:08:01Z

Gunter: /* See Also */

{{Ongoing}}

 
[[Image:Catielego.jpg|thumb|A depiction of Catie and her captor, circa 17 August 2014. Notice Chris's skirt and heels, and the padlock around Catie's neck.]]
== Background ==

'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was, [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], his latest sweetheart. Little is known about her personally, only that she isn't real and <s>admires</s> trolls lonely, crazy men. She is almost certainly white, and younger than Chris, as his [[Attraction Sign|preferences]] preclude anything else. The two are believed to have met on OKCupid when Christian discovered that "Catie" was a 97% match (which [[Autism|guarantees]] she's destined to bear his child) and pursued her.
Unlike [[Megan Schroeder|other]] [[The Wallflower|women]] in his life, Chris decided to keep the identity of Catherine anonymous during July 2014, safeguarding her discovery by anybody else.

It is worth noted that her real name is actually '''Catie''', but Chris called him '''"Catherine"''' most of the time.{{cite}}

== The Relationship ==

In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he had found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other_documents#Items_sent_by_Chris_to_a_CWCki_Forums_member]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 [[July 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Life events]]</ref>

On 2 [[September 2014]], Chris tried to strong-arm Catherine into committing to him by sending her his vows, showing that Chris wanted to be in a relationship with Catherine, how he's entitled to be in a valid relationship with a sweetheart and how depressed he was.

On 5 [[September 2014]] Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref>

On [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

During the start of October 2014 Chris sent [[Three-Quarter Woman|his master copy of the newest CD]] he'd made to his sweetheart Catherine, but little did he know a thief would acquire the CD, and post it on the [[CWCki Forums]] for the world to see. To the CD thief's surprise the CD had information pertaining to the anonymous sweetheart's name but tragically not her appearance.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a [[Three-Quarter Woman|CD]] for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] - [[Chris and his Ego|has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her]].

In November, however, it was later revealed on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Catherine really was (unsurprisingly) just a troll.

==The Date==

Catherine has survived to tell her harrowing tale of going on a date with the big CWC. <ref>http://kiwifar.ms/threads/2014-dec-19-caties-story.6598/</ref>

{{Email|I approached the first date with Chris like most people approach online dating, you just set up some lunch or coffee date or some shit and see if you can tolerate one another without the computer screen. Except that I knew I was going to have to hand-wave and tolerate an awful lot of crazy shit, most of the early Catie interactions online were a lot like any budding online friendship via a dating site.

When I started out, it was entirely on my own with no involvement from Christorical figures and trolls. I didn't expect to get anywhere. Most would-be trolls don't. So there was no plan for an irl meeting since I'm too chicken to go it alone. When I got advice/help from other Christorians, that's when we put the idea together for a date.

I think I did refer to it as a "lunch date" or something like that, but it was the same routine I've gone though from online dating before. I tried to keep the Catie interactions as normal as possible, as weird as that probably sounds. Chris wanted to spend an entire day together, go bra-shopping at Target with him, wanted me to spend the night and watch movies with him, even asked me what I like for breakfast so he could buy it. It would have been kind of nice behaviour if it weren't the first time he was going to meet this woman. I told him a few times that I wasn't going to spend the night with him, but he persisted in believing I would.

It took place the last weekend in August because it took a while to coordinate. By then, Chris had been chatting with "Catie" for about four weeks. My "Cousin Al" came with me so I wouldn't be alone with Chris at Applebee's. It was set for like 2pm or something but Chris told me he always likes to be half an hour early for dates (all two of the ones he's had in his life?), so WE had to be there early so we could get there first. This is a rundown of the date itself from right after:

12:45pm: Arrived in Charlottesville. We knew Chris would be early since he said he was "always early for dates" though he's had all of like three dates in his life including this one. Took a few mins to adjust before going in and getting a seat. Faced the door so wE could see him coming.

1.10pm: VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Al spotted him first in the car park, said, "It's either Chris or an ugly old woman." He looked right at us and I waved, and he sorta waved back, but got seated separately because autism. He was two booths down. I bit the bullet and went over. He wanted me to use some shitty-ass stupid pickup line, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" But I just asked if he was Christian. He all but leaped up and squawked, "CATHERINE! YOU'RE HERE!" Then he side hugged me before I could employ evasive tactics and I led him to our table. The look on the waitress's face was priceless. She may need serious therapy after this.

Chris was wearing a red T-shirt and grey undershirt, his "kilt" (really some old lady style plaid skirt to the calf) with turquoise tights, and grotty sneakers. I hoped he would wear high heels, since he said he likes wearing them. His hair looked like straw, probably from the bleach he used to use, and he had a silver hairband and green earrings. He had on blue eyeshadow and purple eyeliner and red lipstick that appear to have been applied by someone with advanced Parkinson's. He smelled very strongly of what we later found out was that Brittany Spears purfume. He shook Al's hand and used hand sanitizer. He seemed genuinely amazed I was even there.

1.30 - 3.30pm: The date went really well. Chris had some trouble with volume control when we talked about Jerkops and we asked a lot about his conspiracy theories. He thinks Snyder bribed the police to beat him up and ran into their car himself and there are still trolls making it impossible for him to get work. We pressed him for details on his corruption conspiracies because we wanted to see how depraved they were, under the pretense that he could sue for millions. But after he couldnt come up with good answers he stress sighed, and we changed the subject.

We asked after Barb's teeth. She has really bad cavities apparently.

The rental is secured through November, according to Chris.

Chris expects Catie to move into 14BC with him and Barb. He had previously expressed willingness to move to [another town in Virginia] with Catie, but he's either changed his mind or forgotten or both. Chris thinks Barb could handle little kids in the house too, when Al asked how he would have a family living with his mother. Chris thinks Barb would be a great babysitter and caretaker, so I guess there goes Chris's plans to be a House Husband.

He kept trying to hold my hand so I negotiated lunch like a t-Rex with strumpy little arms. Then he tried footsie under the table. And he stared at my tits a lot. I kept hoping Cousin Al would say something but he never did. In retrospect I should've called him out on it.

Barb's family apparently also think Barb is a useless drunken whore too. (Note: a few days after the meeting, Chris told me that when Barb was young, she aggressively went after her sister's husband or fiance. I think it might have been Cousin Harriet's husband, Tom. Anyway, the family concluded that Barb is a shitty person and pretty much wrote her off, except Aunt Corina for some reason. Tom and Harriet still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but won't let her visit or even tell her their address.)

Chris now tips 15%; I gave the waitress all my singles and wrote "I am so sorry you had to see that, you're a trooper!" on the check.

3.30pm: We were going to escape to the "mechanic" where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us 14BC, we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets.

Chris said, "This isn't how I imagined bringing a girl home!"

The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. Bob's old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much. There's an early 90s Cadillac in the yard covered in plant growth that hasn't been moved since the fire, they want to sell it and expect $2000 - $5000 for it.

Al expressed interest in buying some of Bob's records and chris was pretty happy about that. More Lego money!!

4pm: We go to the rental. It is literally stacked to the ceiling with stuff in places, no exaggeration. Chris occupies both upstairs rooms, one is full of Lego (including melted, warped fire damaged Lego, a lot of it), and the other has his same grotty bedding from the old house. He keeps a pic of Catie on his nightstand and practices kisses on it. I should have told him that was creepy as hell but at the time I was just way too stunned that he even had it there. He introduced me to Bob via an old picture. He kept putting his arm around me and getting creepy too close so I kept moving around and fake sneezing. I thought it was because he's creepy, Al thinks it's his autism, but it's likely both. Funnily enough he mentioned earlier that his experiences with Megan taught him NOT to do that touchy creepy thing. He was bragging about it.

We looked at his yearbooks. Physically handled them. He has two from his Seinor Year. They smell smoke damaged but aren't too bad. I never found out why he has two yearbooks, I think he said Barb gave him an order form and Bob also did. Nobody signed either, Chris seemed surprised at the suggestion that people sign yearbooks at all.

Barb was actually very pleasant. But I know abusive people: the mask of normalcy is their cover. She said I was very pretty and we chatted about family history and Cole nearly dying of a sinus infection when he was nineteen. Barb thinks the insurance agent hates her because she is "too smart" for them and too shrewd, rather than being a cantankerous old harpy.

The Chandler's pets pee and shit in the house on newspaper because they're too lazy to take them for walkies. The dogs are untrained, hate strangers, and are at least twenty pounds overweight. Their bellies all but drag on the floor. One nearly bit me when I offered to let it smell me.

When we made our escape, Chris said, "You asked what a girl like me was doing in a place like this?" (No Chris!!) "Well I'm waiting for the sweetest most honest woman in my life!" And put his arm around me to kiss me so I sneezed again to get him to back off. I waved at him when we got into the car and he still thinks I blew him a kiss.

He gave me a goodie bag of shit, mostly My Little Pony related. There were the two pictures he drew of me, and the CD. There was an MLP iPhone case because he also wanted to take me shopping for an iPhone to put on his plan so he could call me as much as he wanted. I turned him down but he said I could regift it. No clue what happened to it at this point.}}

Catie's suffering didn't stop there. She also treated herself to go bowling with Chris. She describes the occasion thus:
{{Email|Chris wanted to kiss me after the second outing (which I adamantly declared was not a date, several times, which Chris refused to accept), and I said no. That's weird, that's creepy, we aren't dating.... NO. He asked for a hug, instead, and I still said no because I said it felt uncomfortable since we weren't dating. So instead he "walked me to the car" and as I was getting in he just half climbed in after me and hugged me really awkwardly, bent in half since I was sitting down, face-down in my tits. His hair smells awful and his hairline is like half back on his head. It was one of many moments where I was so stunned I couldn't meaningfully react.}}

== How Chris screwed up so soon ==

{{main|I Love You, Catherine}}

On 28 [[September 2014|September]], Catherine and Chris had recently had a dispute over Chris's financial situation. To make matters worse for our hero, Catherine visited New York for her friend's bachelorette party, leaving Chris lonesome and frustrated. During this visit Catherine went on a sail boat ride with a [[JERKS|man]] named Colin. Catherine viewed her relationship with Chris as an open one but Chris didn't view it that way, and confessedly insulted Colin about going on that sail boat ride with her. Catherine then received word about Chris's outburst in front of Colin and chewed Chris out for it. Chris for the first time in a long time caught a heartache, because he acted like a sleazebag towards Colin. On 4 [[October 2014|October]] he proceeded to upload a video where he apologizes for how he acted. In the description he states he will "become a better [[Gaybian|Lesbian]] [[Tomgirl|Transgender]] Sweetheart and Partner".

{{Infobox/video
| name = I Love You, Catherine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvMWpKKw8k4}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2014]]
| subject = {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}},
| previous = [[Hello, my sweety baby]]
| next = [[To Mr. Smith]]
}}

==Leaked Information==
Catherine (and others) provided ample information from Christian during 2014.
{{quote|Yes, we could be Gal Pals, but you Have to also realize that I still have the Ugly Growth that if we were in bed, you could enjoy this [[Chris and reality|near seven incher]] damn [[Duck|cock]]!|This is literally what Chris e-mailed to Catherine.}}
Chris sent Catherine the following photos in an attempt to moisten her.
<center><gallery>
Image:Flirt1.jpeg
Image:CWCYellowDress.jpg|Lesbians everywhere, hold your orgasms!
Image:Flirt2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

Between 16 and 18 September, Christian assured Catherine he no longer has crushes on his gal pals.

{{EmailReply|Subject: Unknown
Date: 16 - 18 September 2014
From: Christian
To: Catherine

Rebeckah forwarded your concerns to me. I assure and promise to you, Catherine: I did not have a crush on Tiffany at all during High School. The only time that would be considered contrary was at the Seinor Prom. No one had asked me to dance, and I went there with my mom. Tiffany asked me to dance with her; it was good. But with the learning of the set up arrangement last year, and upon recollection and reflection, that was probably a set up arrangement as well.

My High School crush was Kellie Andes. But then I had heard a rumor near graduation about her going outwith some other dude. And I lost touch.

I was moreover not over the Friendships of ALL of my High School Gal Pals: Tiffany [x], Kellie [x], Sarah [x], Molly [x] (who is still a friend, and on my Facebook Friends List), and Miranda [x] (who I still have never found anywhere online, so she is undecided). Aside from Kellie, I did not have the deeper feelings for any of my gal pals, but I still was close with them, I cared about them as my friends, and I definitely felt comfortable around them. Seriously, I was totally Naive on the subject of Dating throughout High School, even though I had a sexual education class. Which led me to my later idea of encouraging Dating Education Classes alongside Sexual Education in High School.
Anyway, Kelly blocked me on Facebook a few years ago, and l have gotten over her well over a decade ago. And

last August to October, while I was totally on getting the Class of 2000 Reunion going on the 15th year, since the ten year reunion did not work out. I also built the original Lego High School building, before the fire last January, which melted the top portion and about the back walls of the building. I still am glad I rebuilt it with renewed dedication to Manchester High.

When I was contacting as many classmates as I could last year, I talked with Sarah Bevel, and eventually, She was the one in Mid-October who totally devastated my High School Memories by being the first to tell me that their friendships with me were a set up that occurred between my father and the principle. I became More VERY Upset and Sad!

''sigh''

And with the bullying from Sarah and Tiffany since then, I really wanted to know Why the hell they hate me for other than no reason. I was mostly over all of that before you found me on OKCupid. And then, just recently when I was messaged the link to Tiffany's Facebook.

Yeah. So anyway, while I am feeling more crestfallen about that, I am more into the relationship between you and me, Catherine. You continue to care about and love

me; as I still do for you too. That matters a lot more to me.

You do not have anything to worry about here, my TomBi!

Sent from my iPhone
Stay Safe,
Christian W. Chandler}}

Pictures of the "Relationship Vow" card by Chris were leaked, showing Chris's vow to Catherine for their ''Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners''.

<center><gallery>
File:RelationshipVows1.jpg|
File:RelationshipVows2.jpg|
File:RelationshipVows3.jpg|
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
from Christian Weston Chandler 9/2/2014
to Catherine

My Vows to Catherine for our Relationship
as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of sound
[[Autism|mind]] and [[Chris and Health|body]], to Catherine

With this [[Amnyfest Ring|(my Class) Ring]], I take
thee, Catherine, to be my Sweetheart,
Lover and Girlfriend, in our relationship
with mutual loyalty, devotion, trust and
companionship. And I solemnly Vow...

-to maintain respect for you as my partner.
-to remain a good, loyal, honest and
supportive partner to you.
-to keep any and all information about
you, sensitive and whatever else, secret
and Strictly Confidential between the
two of us alone, unless you specifically
specify such a detail to be shared with
another trusted person in our lives.

-to fully maintain [[honest content|honesty]] and [[Chris and English#Typos|loylty]] (sic) to
you at all times, now and forever.
Even when and if I should feel need for
a break, or to find fun with anyone else,
-I vow to inform you of such times
and with who, and all other details.
of such.
-to keep you topmost on my heart
and soul (alongside my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], who
remains of my utmost loyalties, honesty
and such that goes in the mother-child
relationship, respectfully), and all relate
priorities as well.

-to remain (inserted: emotionally and mentally) open to you forever!
-to be fully open for your emotions,
feelings, concerns, ideas, opinions
and most everything else therein.
-to be supportive to and for you as
best of my abilities as possible, as
well as offering my own constructive
thoughts, deeds and actions to honestly
and hopefully turn out for the better
for you.

-to add more Vows to this list as we
continue on with our relationship as
they come about and when they come
about.
}}
}}

On 17 December, more info were leaked: his [[Apology Letters|apology letters]] he wrote to [[Fashion Square Mall]], [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and a never before seen [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Christmas video in 2004]] which was from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==The End==
{{quote|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with me; essentially dumping me.|Chris confirmed in an e-mail that he and "Catherine" are no longer together.}}
On 5 November 2014, it was revealed on a [[CWCki Forums]] thread that Catherine, like sweethearts past, was created by trolls; the relationship was non-existent. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/x-post-closure-of-the-cwcki-forums-private-discussion-board.5783</ref>

5 days later, Chris confirmed in [[Open Relationship E-mails#No Longer Together With Catherine|an e-mail to Renee]] that they are no longer together. However, it remains unknown whether Chris knows that Catherine doesn't exist at all.

==Backlash==
{{main|Trolls#Today}}
When it was revealed in November that Catherine wasn't real, many on the CWCki Forums were disappointed. After all, having female trolls assume a persona and "date" Chris is hardly new. Not only this, but [[white knights|many]] felt that Chris no longer deserved to have his life controlled by trolls, and that [[Chris and money|he'd]] [[Bob Chandler|suffered]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|enough]].

==See Also==
* [[Catherine E-mails]]
* [[Open Relationship E-mails]]
* [[Three-Quarter Woman]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]] [[Category:Trolls]]

Catherine

2014-12-21T14:07:06Z

Gunter:

{{Ongoing}}

 
[[Image:Catielego.jpg|thumb|A depiction of Catie and her captor, circa 17 August 2014. Notice Chris's skirt and heels, and the padlock around Catie's neck.]]
== Background ==

'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was, [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], his latest sweetheart. Little is known about her personally, only that she isn't real and <s>admires</s> trolls lonely, crazy men. She is almost certainly white, and younger than Chris, as his [[Attraction Sign|preferences]] preclude anything else. The two are believed to have met on OKCupid when Christian discovered that "Catie" was a 97% match (which [[Autism|guarantees]] she's destined to bear his child) and pursued her.
Unlike [[Megan Schroeder|other]] [[The Wallflower|women]] in his life, Chris decided to keep the identity of Catherine anonymous during July 2014, safeguarding her discovery by anybody else.

It is worth noted that her real name is actually '''Catie''', but Chris called him '''"Catherine"''' most of the time.{{cite}}

== The Relationship ==

In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he had found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other_documents#Items_sent_by_Chris_to_a_CWCki_Forums_member]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 [[July 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Life events]]</ref>

On 2 [[September 2014]], Chris tried to strong-arm Catherine into committing to him by sending her his vows, showing that Chris wanted to be in a relationship with Catherine, how he's entitled to be in a valid relationship with a sweetheart and how depressed he was.

On 5 [[September 2014]] Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref>

On [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

During the start of October 2014 Chris sent [[Three-Quarter Woman|his master copy of the newest CD]] he'd made to his sweetheart Catherine, but little did he know a thief would acquire the CD, and post it on the [[CWCki Forums]] for the world to see. To the CD thief's surprise the CD had information pertaining to the anonymous sweetheart's name but tragically not her appearance.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a [[Three-Quarter Woman|CD]] for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] - [[Chris and his Ego|has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her]].

In November, however, it was later revealed on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Catherine really was (unsurprisingly) just a troll.

==The Date==

Catherine has survived to tell her harrowing tale of going on a date with the big CWC. <ref>http://kiwifar.ms/threads/2014-dec-19-caties-story.6598/</ref>

{{Email|I approached the first date with Chris like most people approach online dating, you just set up some lunch or coffee date or some shit and see if you can tolerate one another without the computer screen. Except that I knew I was going to have to hand-wave and tolerate an awful lot of crazy shit, most of the early Catie interactions online were a lot like any budding online friendship via a dating site.

When I started out, it was entirely on my own with no involvement from Christorical figures and trolls. I didn't expect to get anywhere. Most would-be trolls don't. So there was no plan for an irl meeting since I'm too chicken to go it alone. When I got advice/help from other Christorians, that's when we put the idea together for a date.

I think I did refer to it as a "lunch date" or something like that, but it was the same routine I've gone though from online dating before. I tried to keep the Catie interactions as normal as possible, as weird as that probably sounds. Chris wanted to spend an entire day together, go bra-shopping at Target with him, wanted me to spend the night and watch movies with him, even asked me what I like for breakfast so he could buy it. It would have been kind of nice behaviour if it weren't the first time he was going to meet this woman. I told him a few times that I wasn't going to spend the night with him, but he persisted in believing I would.

It took place the last weekend in August because it took a while to coordinate. By then, Chris had been chatting with "Catie" for about four weeks. My "Cousin Al" came with me so I wouldn't be alone with Chris at Applebee's. It was set for like 2pm or something but Chris told me he always likes to be half an hour early for dates (all two of the ones he's had in his life?), so WE had to be there early so we could get there first. This is a rundown of the date itself from right after:

12:45pm: Arrived in Charlottesville. We knew Chris would be early since he said he was "always early for dates" though he's had all of like three dates in his life including this one. Took a few mins to adjust before going in and getting a seat. Faced the door so wE could see him coming.

1.10pm: VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Al spotted him first in the car park, said, "It's either Chris or an ugly old woman." He looked right at us and I waved, and he sorta waved back, but got seated separately because autism. He was two booths down. I bit the bullet and went over. He wanted me to use some shitty-ass stupid pickup line, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" But I just asked if he was Christian. He all but leaped up and squawked, "CATHERINE! YOU'RE HERE!" Then he side hugged me before I could employ evasive tactics and I led him to our table. The look on the waitress's face was priceless. She may need serious therapy after this.

Chris was wearing a red T-shirt and grey undershirt, his "kilt" (really some old lady style plaid skirt to the calf) with turquoise tights, and grotty sneakers. I hoped he would wear high heels, since he said he likes wearing them. His hair looked like straw, probably from the bleach he used to use, and he had a silver hairband and green earrings. He had on blue eyeshadow and purple eyeliner and red lipstick that appear to have been applied by someone with advanced Parkinson's. He smelled very strongly of what we later found out was that Brittany Spears purfume. He shook Al's hand and used hand sanitizer. He seemed genuinely amazed I was even there.

1.30 - 3.30pm: The date went really well. Chris had some trouble with volume control when we talked about Jerkops and we asked a lot about his conspiracy theories. He thinks Snyder bribed the police to beat him up and ran into their car himself and there are still trolls making it impossible for him to get work. We pressed him for details on his corruption conspiracies because we wanted to see how depraved they were, under the pretense that he could sue for millions. But after he couldnt come up with good answers he stress sighed, and we changed the subject.

We asked after Barb's teeth. She has really bad cavities apparently.

The rental is secured through November, according to Chris.

Chris expects Catie to move into 14BC with him and Barb. He had previously expressed willingness to move to [another town in Virginia] with Catie, but he's either changed his mind or forgotten or both. Chris thinks Barb could handle little kids in the house too, when Al asked how he would have a family living with his mother. Chris thinks Barb would be a great babysitter and caretaker, so I guess there goes Chris's plans to be a House Husband.

He kept trying to hold my hand so I negotiated lunch like a t-Rex with strumpy little arms. Then he tried footsie under the table. And he stared at my tits a lot. I kept hoping Cousin Al would say something but he never did. In retrospect I should've called him out on it.

Barb's family apparently also think Barb is a useless drunken whore too. (Note: a few days after the meeting, Chris told me that when Barb was young, she aggressively went after her sister's husband or fiance. I think it might have been Cousin Harriet's husband, Tom. Anyway, the family concluded that Barb is a shitty person and pretty much wrote her off, except Aunt Corina for some reason. Tom and Harriet still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but won't let her visit or even tell her their address.)

Chris now tips 15%; I gave the waitress all my singles and wrote "I am so sorry you had to see that, you're a trooper!" on the check.

3.30pm: We were going to escape to the "mechanic" where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us 14BC, we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets.

Chris said, "This isn't how I imagined bringing a girl home!"

The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. Bob's old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much. There's an early 90s Cadillac in the yard covered in plant growth that hasn't been moved since the fire, they want to sell it and expect $2000 - $5000 for it.

Al expressed interest in buying some of Bob's records and chris was pretty happy about that. More Lego money!!

4pm: We go to the rental. It is literally stacked to the ceiling with stuff in places, no exaggeration. Chris occupies both upstairs rooms, one is full of Lego (including melted, warped fire damaged Lego, a lot of it), and the other has his same grotty bedding from the old house. He keeps a pic of Catie on his nightstand and practices kisses on it. I should have told him that was creepy as hell but at the time I was just way too stunned that he even had it there. He introduced me to Bob via an old picture. He kept putting his arm around me and getting creepy too close so I kept moving around and fake sneezing. I thought it was because he's creepy, Al thinks it's his autism, but it's likely both. Funnily enough he mentioned earlier that his experiences with Megan taught him NOT to do that touchy creepy thing. He was bragging about it.

We looked at his yearbooks. Physically handled them. He has two from his Seinor Year. They smell smoke damaged but aren't too bad. I never found out why he has two yearbooks, I think he said Barb gave him an order form and Bob also did. Nobody signed either, Chris seemed surprised at the suggestion that people sign yearbooks at all.

Barb was actually very pleasant. But I know abusive people: the mask of normalcy is their cover. She said I was very pretty and we chatted about family history and Cole nearly dying of a sinus infection when he was nineteen. Barb thinks the insurance agent hates her because she is "too smart" for them and too shrewd, rather than being a cantankerous old harpy.

The Chandler's pets pee and shit in the house on newspaper because they're too lazy to take them for walkies. The dogs are untrained, hate strangers, and are at least twenty pounds overweight. Their bellies all but drag on the floor. One nearly bit me when I offered to let it smell me.

When we made our escape, Chris said, "You asked what a girl like me was doing in a place like this?" (No Chris!!) "Well I'm waiting for the sweetest most honest woman in my life!" And put his arm around me to kiss me so I sneezed again to get him to back off. I waved at him when we got into the car and he still thinks I blew him a kiss.

He gave me a goodie bag of shit, mostly My Little Pony related. There were the two pictures he drew of me, and the CD. There was an MLP iPhone case because he also wanted to take me shopping for an iPhone to put on his plan so he could call me as much as he wanted. I turned him down but he said I could regift it. No clue what happened to it at this point.}}

Catie's suffering didn't stop there. She also treated herself to go bowling with Chris. She describes the occasion thus:
{{Email|Chris wanted to kiss me after the second outing (which I adamantly declared was not a date, several times, which Chris refused to accept), and I said no. That's weird, that's creepy, we aren't dating.... NO. He asked for a hug, instead, and I still said no because I said it felt uncomfortable since we weren't dating. So instead he "walked me to the car" and as I was getting in he just half climbed in after me and hugged me really awkwardly, bent in half since I was sitting down, face-down in my tits. His hair smells awful and his hairline is like half back on his head. It was one of many moments where I was so stunned I couldn't meaningfully react.}}

== How Chris screwed up so soon ==

{{main|I Love You, Catherine}}

On 28 [[September 2014|September]], Catherine and Chris had recently had a dispute over Chris's financial situation. To make matters worse for our hero, Catherine visited New York for her friend's bachelorette party, leaving Chris lonesome and frustrated. During this visit Catherine went on a sail boat ride with a [[JERKS|man]] named Colin. Catherine viewed her relationship with Chris as an open one but Chris didn't view it that way, and confessedly insulted Colin about going on that sail boat ride with her. Catherine then received word about Chris's outburst in front of Colin and chewed Chris out for it. Chris for the first time in a long time caught a heartache, because he acted like a sleazebag towards Colin. On 4 [[October 2014|October]] he proceeded to upload a video where he apologizes for how he acted. In the description he states he will "become a better [[Gaybian|Lesbian]] [[Tomgirl|Transgender]] Sweetheart and Partner".

{{Infobox/video
| name = I Love You, Catherine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvMWpKKw8k4}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2014]]
| subject = {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}},
| previous = [[Hello, my sweety baby]]
| next = [[To Mr. Smith]]
}}

==Leaked Information==
Catherine (and others) provided ample information from Christian during 2014.
{{quote|Yes, we could be Gal Pals, but you Have to also realize that I still have the Ugly Growth that if we were in bed, you could enjoy this [[Chris and reality|near seven incher]] damn [[Duck|cock]]!|This is literally what Chris e-mailed to Catherine.}}
Chris sent Catherine the following photos in an attempt to moisten her.
<center><gallery>
Image:Flirt1.jpeg
Image:CWCYellowDress.jpg|Lesbians everywhere, hold your orgasms!
Image:Flirt2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

Between 16 and 18 September, Christian assured Catherine he no longer has crushes on his gal pals.

{{EmailReply|Subject: Unknown
Date: 16 - 18 September 2014
From: Christian
To: Catherine

Rebeckah forwarded your concerns to me. I assure and promise to you, Catherine: I did not have a crush on Tiffany at all during High School. The only time that would be considered contrary was at the Seinor Prom. No one had asked me to dance, and I went there with my mom. Tiffany asked me to dance with her; it was good. But with the learning of the set up arrangement last year, and upon recollection and reflection, that was probably a set up arrangement as well.

My High School crush was Kellie Andes. But then I had heard a rumor near graduation about her going outwith some other dude. And I lost touch.

I was moreover not over the Friendships of ALL of my High School Gal Pals: Tiffany [x], Kellie [x], Sarah [x], Molly [x] (who is still a friend, and on my Facebook Friends List), and Miranda [x] (who I still have never found anywhere online, so she is undecided). Aside from Kellie, I did not have the deeper feelings for any of my gal pals, but I still was close with them, I cared about them as my friends, and I definitely felt comfortable around them. Seriously, I was totally Naive on the subject of Dating throughout High School, even though I had a sexual education class. Which led me to my later idea of encouraging Dating Education Classes alongside Sexual Education in High School.
Anyway, Kelly blocked me on Facebook a few years ago, and l have gotten over her well over a decade ago. And

last August to October, while I was totally on getting the Class of 2000 Reunion going on the 15th year, since the ten year reunion did not work out. I also built the original Lego High School building, before the fire last January, which melted the top portion and about the back walls of the building. I still am glad I rebuilt it with renewed dedication to Manchester High.

When I was contacting as many classmates as I could last year, I talked with Sarah Bevel, and eventually, She was the one in Mid-October who totally devastated my High School Memories by being the first to tell me that their friendships with me were a set up that occurred between my father and the principle. I became More VERY Upset and Sad!

''sigh''

And with the bullying from Sarah and Tiffany since then, I really wanted to know Why the hell they hate me for other than no reason. I was mostly over all of that before you found me on OKCupid. And then, just recently when I was messaged the link to Tiffany's Facebook.

Yeah. So anyway, while I am feeling more crestfallen about that, I am more into the relationship between you and me, Catherine. You continue to care about and love

me; as I still do for you too. That matters a lot more to me.

You do not have anything to worry about here, my TomBi!

Sent from my iPhone
Stay Safe,
Christian W. Chandler}}

Pictures of the "Relationship Vow" card by Chris were leaked, showing Chris's vow to Catherine for their ''Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners''.

<center><gallery>
File:RelationshipVows1.jpg|
File:RelationshipVows2.jpg|
File:RelationshipVows3.jpg|
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
from Christian Weston Chandler 9/2/2014
to Catherine

My Vows to Catherine for our Relationship
as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of sound
[[Autism|mind]] and [[Chris and Health|body]], to Catherine

With this [[Amnyfest Ring|(my Class) Ring]], I take
thee, Catherine, to be my Sweetheart,
Lover and Girlfriend, in our relationship
with mutual loyalty, devotion, trust and
companionship. And I solemnly Vow...

-to maintain respect for you as my partner.
-to remain a good, loyal, honest and
supportive partner to you.
-to keep any and all information about
you, sensitive and whatever else, secret
and Strictly Confidential between the
two of us alone, unless you specifically
specify such a detail to be shared with
another trusted person in our lives.

-to fully maintain [[honest content|honesty]] and [[Chris and English#Typos|loylty]] (sic) to
you at all times, now and forever.
Even when and if I should feel need for
a break, or to find fun with anyone else,
-I vow to inform you of such times
and with who, and all other details.
of such.
-to keep you topmost on my heart
and soul (alongside my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], who
remains of my utmost loyalties, honesty
and such that goes in the mother-child
relationship, respectfully), and all relate
priorities as well.

-to remain (inserted: emotionally and mentally) open to you forever!
-to be fully open for your emotions,
feelings, concerns, ideas, opinions
and most everything else therein.
-to be supportive to and for you as
best of my abilities as possible, as
well as offering my own constructive
thoughts, deeds and actions to honestly
and hopefully turn out for the better
for you.

-to add more Vows to this list as we
continue on with our relationship as
they come about and when they come
about.
}}
}}

On 17 December, more info were leaked: his [[Apology Letters|apology letters]] he wrote to [[Fashion Square Mall]], [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and a never before seen [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Christmas video in 2004]] which was from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==The End==
{{quote|I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with me; essentially dumping me.|Chris confirmed in an e-mail that he and "Catherine" are no longer together.}}
On 5 November 2014, it was revealed on a [[CWCki Forums]] thread that Catherine, like sweethearts past, was created by trolls; the relationship was non-existent. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/x-post-closure-of-the-cwcki-forums-private-discussion-board.5783</ref>

5 days later, Chris confirmed in [[Open Relationship E-mails#No Longer Together With Catherine|an e-mail to Renee]] that they are no longer together. However, it remains unknown whether Chris knows that Catherine doesn't exist at all.

==Backlash==
{{main|Trolls#Today}}
When it was revealed in November that Catherine wasn't real, many on the CWCki Forums were disappointed. After all, having female trolls assume a persona and "date" Chris is hardly new. Not only this, but [[white knights|many]] felt that Chris no longer deserved to have his life controlled by trolls, and that [[Chris and money|he'd]] [[Bob Chandler|suffered]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|enough]].

==See Also==
* [[Catherine E-mails]]
==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]] [[Category:Trolls]]

Misc E-mails

2014-12-21T14:05:08Z

Gunter: Moved to Open Relationship E-mails

This page covers miscellanous '''emails'''.

==House Fire Leaks==
{{main|Destruction Of Chris's House}}

During the infamous house fire, some e-mails which are sent by Chris to his high school classmates are leaked.

===We are Surviving===
The first e-mail covers Chris possibly suing the Keurig company (because according to Chris, they are the one responsible for the destruction because of the Keurig coffee brewer in his bathroom) and the insurance company State Farm is putting him and his mum up in a hotel.
{{quotebox|
From: chrischansonichu

Sent: Fri, Jan 10, 2014 1:08 pm

'''We are surviving'''

Our insurance is working for us; we may sue the company; still shocked to go further. We have no local family and few friends; a nice, kind neighbor couple let us bunk in their house. State Farm is putting us up in a hotel for the while during cleanup and reconstruction. Salvage of essentials from our [[14 Branchland Court|main house area]] was successful and fair. Please pray for us; you all and our class. The High School building I made melted some. 
I do not care at all what the [[Trolls|bad people]] are saying in jest to our misfortune. Let them make their God damn jokes at our expense; they wished for something like this to happen to me.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

===Donations===
The second e-mail details about the information for donations to Chris due to the house fire. Some info has been redacted.
{{quotebox|From: chrischansonichu

Sent: Sat, Jan 11, 2014 9:17 am

'''Re: We are surviving'''

I do not trust '''[REDACTED]''' either, but I sense a spot of truth in '''[REDACTED]''' words. If what '''[REDACTED]''' is stating, about the collections and whatnot, it will be determined. You may forward this message to '''[REDACTED]''' or copy/paste the following and send it to '''[REDACTED]''' as well as everyone else you may think of.

Anyone who wishes to help us in this dire moment, they may send all collected and acceptable item(s) to Kevin Mann's office in [[Charlottesville, VA]]; he will relay them to [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I. I do not have the address at the moment. His office phone number is 1 (434) 978-1197. Most Anything would be appreciated. Thank you. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W Chandler
}}

===Greedy Firefighter===
{{quote|Oh my god - what a fucking asshole! Those firemen risked their lives trying to save that burning trash heap of a home, and he has the balls to accuse them of stealing? According to the news report, one of them was injured. [[A-Logging|Once they had made certain that everyone inside had made it out, they should have let that fucking place burn to the ground!]] I was starting to feel sorry for Christian and I was even considering sending him something to help out - but not now. I'm glad that he, his mother, and [[Clover and Snoopy|their pets]] got out safely, other than that - FUCK HIM!|A classmate in response to this e-mail, showing his disgust about Chris mentioning about the so-called "greedy firefighter". (Fun fact: One of Chris's classmates is a firefighter too)}}

The infamous third e-mail is about Chris thinking that a so-called "greedy firefighter" is stealing some of his home's belongings, which include an expensive Dali painting.

{{quotebox|From: chrischansonichu

Sent: Thu, Jan 16, 2014 10:33 am

'''The Furniture'''

My mother wants to keep a few to some of the obviously salvageable furniture; we have an old pantry cabinet that belonged to her mother, plus her red chair, all remaining framed artworks and pictures. She continues to see the value of those things. Plus, she lost her replica Dali painting that was worth a LOT; she theorized and believes someone stole the Dali, as well as her purse that had her set of keys and cards in it. There is at least one greedy firefighter in the group. Plus, the doors were open for a short while before being boarded, not counting the front door which is still most lockable.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

===HOW DARE YOU BE SO HEARTLESS, SOULLESS, AND UNCOMPASSIONATE TO US?===
Less than 24 hours after the infamous "Greedy Firefighter" e-mail, Chris reveals the location of how the fire started.

{{quotebox|From: chrischansonichu

Sent: Fri, Jan 17, 2014 6:04 pm

'''Re: We are surviving'''

Fwd the following to '''[REDACTED]'''

For your information, '''[REDACTED]''' the brewer was outside the bathroom; it was plugged in there with a single-on-each-end, heavy-duty extension cord. The brewer was OFF; currents were still going back and forth with its weak wiring. We did have an extinguisher; we tried diligently to put it out, but there was not enough in the FULL extinguisher to completely put out the fire.

I may move back to Chesterfield County, but it would not be because of this set of unfortunate events. I take great pity on you now, because one should not be judged by their deeds, but for the content of their character and soul that can only be derived from actual IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE time with them. And to you and '''[REDACTED]''' and I feel need to ask: [[Chris and hypocrisy|HOW DARE YOU BE SO HEARTLESS, SOULLESS, AND UNCOMPASSIONATE TO US?]]

Good day.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==22 March 2014 Leaks==
On 22 [[March 2014]], several e-mails were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]]. Included are e-mails from a former classmate of Chris's (name withheld), giving some details that revealed that Chris was, in fact, picked on regularly in Manchester High, and did regularly require protection, contrary to what [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|Chris himself has said]]. Also included are several e-mails from Chris, complete with the usual rape of the [[Chris and English|English language]], threats of legal action, nonsensical phrasing, blatant materialism, and revealing that as of at least about the time of [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|Bob's death]], Chris still believes he can curse people into ill health.

===White Knighting with a small dose of Chris's Realistic [[Manchester High School]] Days===
The aforementioned e-mail about Chris's days in high school. The whole e-mail mostly included white knighting from his classmate. However, it also included that he was actually bullied there on a regular basis despite Chris claiming that his time there is among the happiest in his life:
{{quoteboxred|1=
'''Christian'''

Hey '''[REDACTED]''' My name is '''[REDACTED]''' I'm a friend of Christian's. I knew Christian in High School, and have gotten in touch with him here in the past few months. I know you dont know me from anywhere and have zero reason to listen to what I have to say; but I am going to give it a shot. I know that those pages out there are causing a massive problem for Christian. I want to know what its going to take to have them pulled down. Its really run its course, its bullshit, and absolutely not something that anyone should have up or be taking part in. You seem to know all the players involved in all the circles, and I think you seem like a pretty decent guy. I know that know one is perfect, not by any reach, but this shit needs to stop. [[White_knight#Chris_could_have_ended_the_trolling_whenever_he_wanted_to.2C_but_didn.27t|You said he needs to move on, and I agree, but getting that Wiki page down would be a massive first step. That page needs to go. Everyone needs to move on, and put the past were it is, in the past.]]

I noticed some updates on the page that included my name and '''[REDACTED]''' name, and I am sure you guys would term us what you call "White Knights". Were not. I have a soft spot for this guy cause I knew him in High School, I defended him there from assholes who picked on him and messed with him by taking things from him, just to get a reaction out of him. Funny thing about life is you never who has someones back, and although I have nothing to gain from inserting me presence in this issue, I am willing to. I'm not an internet tough guy. I am not a bullshit talker, and neither is '''[REDACTED]''' I think its madness that someone continues to update these pages and I have checked, much of the material on those pages are Slander, Illegal to release, and can result in criminal charges being filed. ( not a threat ). [[White_knight#The_trolling_will_not_cease|I am asking you to step up, end this , or help me end this. Its not worth the high cost of what that site is doing. I dont think anyone wants to see someone suffer and god forbid hurt themselves or someone else because of that page and others.]]

Like I said, you seem like a dude with influence , and a decent guy. I am just trying to help out an old friend, hes not asking me to do this, and not putting me up to it. I am taking this on for my own reasons, I got a lot of people behind me on this, and we all have our own reasons. Mainly, it could be our kid one day, or your kid. Were grown ups here, so lets act like it, end these sites. Help me out with this; and if you know who updates that Wiki page, tell them to keep '''[REDACTED]''' name and my name off them. Period. Not a threat buddy, just asking for the respect of that. [[White_knight#Chris.27_life_would_still_be_a_disaster_even_if_the_trolls_never_bothered_him|Please , let me now what you think, maybe we can end this once and for all and leave Christian to his own devices.]]

Thanks '''[REDACTED]''',

'''[REDACTED]'''}}

===[[White knight]] wiseup===
After the white knight e-mail above, the classmate no longer feels sorry for Chris after finding out about the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture and Chris vandalizing an Xbox One sign to read "[[HEXbox]] One" with a permanent marker in [[Mal-Wart]].

{{quoteboxred|1=
'''Re: You Don't Respond To My Emails'''

Hey '''[REDACTED]'''

I sincerely appreciate the emails, I have just been swamped last week with work, and partially tore a tendon in my forearm so I haven't been doing much typing expect for last night to '''[REDACTED]''' I am trying in a back room sort of way to get Christian to see that [[CWCki|a board]] is not the cause of all his problems, I am very very aware that his actions are his own and all the vandalism and [[Death threats|hate filled rants]] and shit are his own burden to wear. I know why the board exists, and I think he uses it as a scape goat for his behavior. My thought process was kind of around the lines of.....get it " shut down" and see how he does, he fucks up after that. ....well you can figure that part out. I think that picture he drew was a nuke to anybody feeling sorry for him, includes me. I No uncertain terms, if that was my wife he wouldn't have arms or fingers that worked well enough to type of draw again. That's me. I'm not a one sided cat, I see both sides clearly. I just think maybe if you guys understood where I am coming from, you would see the vision I am trying to project. The site is fucked up, even if the people are not. I dig what y'all say and how much in a way you guys look out for him. I think it's kind of a dysfunctional friendship he has WITH the site because it empowers him to GET attention and use the site to do things like Wal-Mart vandalism and go off on whoever and say ....look at me and what I have to go through. I personally got involved for my own reasons and I am not stepping out to do anything else for his battles. Website is my only concern. I would not let my sister date him, so I ain't gunna hook anyone up with or for him. His behavior is his own, Jesus he's lucky he didn't get hauled off to jail for Wal-Mart innocent. I think they don't go HARD ENOUGH on him to be honest. Actions have repercussions. I always say that. I am a man of my word....one fight pony here '''[REDACTED]''', I want to see web site down, will it happens. ...unlikely. but if you see the method to my madness you might follow the trail I am trying to layout. I have far to busy with running a construction company, being a husband, and enjoying my hobbies to be a baby sitter for Christian. I think the site could be.....relaunched in a different manor, less offensive to the UN- informed. You guys actually help him more than hes known , so I got respect for that.}}

===Bitter and Twisted Mess===
It's also revealed that the classmate also sent an e-mail to Chris......
{{quoteboxred|1=
'''You REALLY Need To Let Go'''
Christian,

You're always going to be a bitter and twisted mess as long as you continue to hold onto and obsess over the past. [[The GAMe PLACe|The Game Place]] was years ago. Besides, if you're that desperate for Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh stuff, there are other game stores or you could order online.

And stop demonizing [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]. That was a pretty shitty thing you did to her with that drawing.

So take my advice - or don't. If you keep on the way you're going, you'll end up with no friends and being banned from almost everywhere in and around the Ruckersville / Charlottesville area It looks like you've learned absolutely nothing from your past mistakes. Time to grow up. }}

===Re: Bitter and Twisted Mess===
......with Chris ignoring the advice as usual.
{{quotebox|1=
'''Re: You REALLY Need To Let Go'''

I have never forgotten that photograph [[Lucas|LUCAS]] took, and I certainly have fully read that damn Q&A transaction with the [[Trolls]], you damn Trolls!!! I will never let go; I will continue to curse that [[Megan Schroeder|bitch]], and the rest of you fiends until you all have paid me my restitution, including the removal of the [[CWCki|Cwcki]], its [[CWCki Forums|Forums]], and fullest disbanding of that [[The GAMe PLACe|damn Troll and Cyber-Bully Community]], you damn [[Homos|homosexual]] pinheads! You whole lot have DESTROYED My Soul, TORMENTED This Dead [[My Little Pony|Horse]] [[Chris and English|Continously]], MADE EVERYONE [[Twin Falling Towers|HATE]] [[Death threats|ME]] [[Sonichu Special 4|FOR]] [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|NO]] [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|GOOD]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|REASON]], and then some into Infinity, you [[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZy]] CREEPS!!!

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler }}

===Most Trusted Friends===
Chris tried to be intimidating in this e-mail, pointing out that his friends list in his Facebook page is only viewable to... well, his ''Most Trusted Friends''...
{{quotebox|1=
'''And By The Way...'''

My Friends List is ONLY viewable to my Most Trusted Friends on [[Facebook]]. Friends Sub-List; Privacy Settings! I have my [[Gal pal|gals]] and my homies on my side.
}}

===Financial Compensation===
...as well as thinking that "financial compensation" is warranted for "his years of suffering".
{{quotebox|1=
'''And BTW'''

I think [[Chris and money|financial compensation]] is an easy way out I am offering to you, compared to the getting everything against me off of the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for good (impossible task), and I have more than enough evidence against you to sue for the six years of chaos and [[Trolls|Trolling]] [[stress]] for more than the amount. My attorney is [[Rob Bell|Robert B. Bell]]; more powerful than your "Tom Sawyer, who lost his bio daughter named Sue to his brother, Sam". Plus, how much longer would you like my [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] make you dizzy? [[Obesity|Food for your thought.]]

Sent from my iPhone
Stay Safe,
Christian W. Chandler

}}

===DAMN CWCKI===
Though Chris as usual blamed the trolls and Megan, one thing notable that according to him, '''''[[Bob Chandler|his father]] would have been alive beyond 2015 if it's not for the trolls who cause him a lot of stress.'''''
[[File:825c7246312b6112383fec5-ABF.jpg|thumb|right|An artist's depiction of Chris's "goodwill" as he used to be.]]
{{quotebox|1=
'''Re: You Know - People Don't Really Care About the CWCki'''

Because of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], followed by the damn Cwcki and its Forum, the trollings started and haven't stopped. Those pinheads pretended to be women multiple times to deceive my [[Heart level|heart]] and emotions and goodwill, about as much as Megan had done to me, except the total cost did not go up into more than 500, and the most expensive troll was the infamous "JULAY" in Cleveland, Ohio, AKA [[BlueSpike]]. HE conned me out of sharing my PSN account console link with him, buying Burnout Paradise Digital Version (when I already had the disc), all of the Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice DLC, and of course the freaking trip to Cleveland, Ohio to the addressed run-down two-story house, occupied by an elderly black woman. I have lost a LOT of myself over the near six years to them; I am not as initially goodwill as I used to be; My heart is not so easy to win over; My friendship has to be earned, unless I personally feel otherwise, which is not often. And the stress of it all has left my mother going crazy with buggy theories and everyone being out against us. [[Chris_and_reality#Conspiracy_theories|AND the total stress KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.]] A lot of people close to me, and especially I, myself, continue to suffer from recurring heartaches, stress attacks, paranoid whispers in my brain, and nearly everything else in the like.

And you ask me if it is a good idea to remove every last piece of that Hate Campaign against me?! THEY Destroyed My Life; and as long as all of that shit remains online, I will never be able to find }}
''Note: The e-mail cuts off abruptly at the end for now and no info is given about the original e-mail, though it's most likely that Chris would mention about him never getting a sweetheart at the end.''

{{Emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Open Relationship E-mails

2014-12-21T14:04:43Z

Gunter:

Talk:Misc E-mails

2014-12-21T11:33:06Z

Gunter: /* Catherine-related emails */

Things to do:

* <strike>Rearrangement of the e-mails by date</strike> Decided for the chronological order of e-mails released. '''DONE'''
* <strike>Whether to rename this article just for the leak on 22 March 2014 because of the Fire on 14BC e-mails</strike> Decided to leave the article as it is, and adding the House Fire E-mails. '''DONE: Finished the House Fire e-mails'''
* <strike>Check whether the text is correct - I use a website to extract text from images leaked so it may not be correct</strike> '''DONE'''
* <strike>Piping, obviously</strike> '''DONE: But appreciated if more piping is added.'''
* Some images to fill in

[[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] ([[User talk:Alan Pardew|talk]]) 09:24, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

== hey ==

who the hell is renee?--[[User:Zimkiller1|Zimkiller1]] ([[User talk:Zimkiller1|talk]]) 23:35, 15 December 2014 (UTC)
:<s>It's a trollsona</s> I mean, a TRUE and HONEST Gal Pal. --[[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 07:13, 16 December 2014 (UTC)
::you already revealed it, so there is no point of striking through it. <s> also I might put some vore art here </s> disregard that phrase. --[[User:Zimkiller1|Zimkiller1]] ([[User talk:Zimkiller1|talk]]) 14:13, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
==Catherine-related emails==
There's a page called "Catherine E-mails" for all Catherine related leaked email content. [[User:WilhelmIIofPrussia|WilhelmIIofPrussia]] ([[User talk:WilhelmIIofPrussia|talk]]) 11:28, 21 December 2014 (UTC)
:I think it would be more suitable to place them on a separate page, like [[Open Relationship E-mails]]. But the abuse filter doesn't let me do it. --[[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 11:33, 21 December 2014 (UTC)

CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and gender

April 16 Fetish Vids

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

Chris and fashion

File:Patti-zombie.jpg

File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg

Colin

IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

Catie Date Conversation Transcript

IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

Masturbating and squirtin'

Catie Date Conversation Transcript

Talk:IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

March 2015 Facebook posts

User:NotChrisChan

User:NotChrisChan

User:NotChrisChan

WTFIWWY Segment

Colin

SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE

Colin

Colin

Talk:Colin

Adult Swim

Mailbag 27

File:Najhaaace.jpg

File:Majhpaace.jpg

File:Majhlaace.jpg

Mailbag 25

File:Najnjaacd.jpg

File:2gtp2l4.jpg

South Park

User talk:Asperhes

Other documents

July 25, 2014 Leaks

July 25, 2014 Leaks

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

December 2014

Catherine

Catherine

Misc E-mails

Open Relationship E-mails

Talk:Misc E-mails