CWCki - User contributions [en]

China

2012-04-18T11:06:59Z

Gustofwind: /* Uses */

{{quote|I love dykes! DYKES! CHINA!|CWC<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''China''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for "vagina".

==Uses==

Uncomfortable saying the word "vagina," Christian resorts to the childish tactic of using similar sounding or slightly altered versions of the offending term.

In his opening post on the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum, he expresses his love for female genitalia, saying that each one is "truly a masterful work of [[God]]'s art that is simply beautiful in their own way."<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Introduction|Introduction post, Sonichu Girls]]</ref> He then justifies his reverence for China by stating that he cares more about the [[women's rights|feelings and opinions of women]] than about their bodies.

Obviously confused when it comes to both euphemisms and basic units of measure, Chris has stated that he is sure to get "at least one ounce of vagina" within his lifetime.<ref>[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]</ref> There is currently mystery surrounding whether or [[Virgin with rage|not]] he has obtained any china as of 18/04/12.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008]]</ref>

Other uses:
* In [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]], Chris memorably states "I love dykes! DYKES! CHINA!"
*In [[Hello, Juffalo]], Chris gives a shoutout to all the "chinas" who keep him "started."
*As [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used "china" on the [[Coffee Place]] page, and on his talk page.

==Tom-tom==
[[Wikipedia:Tom-tom|Tom-tom]] is an alternative CWC-ism for "vagina", which appeared first in [[March 2008]] when Chris [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica#March_2008|edited ED]] by replacing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] with an image entitled "[[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|TomTomCloseup.jpg]]" which featured a closeup of [[Megan]]'s genitalia from ShecameforCWC. It later appeared in [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009]] in an annotation.

Chris got this name from "Pound My Tom-Tom"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1DVoH0Njow]</ref>, a short music video that debuted during the credits of the [[Adult Swim]] show ''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil]]'' Humorously, the gag in the episode was that this is a particularly ''bad'' euphemism for vagina, and one of the characters embarrassed themselves by using it in public.

==Vaginatables==
Another CWC-ism for vaginas, used in Chris's e-mail address "ILuvVaginatables@aol.com" from his [http://www.networksolutions.com/whois-search/sonichuandrosechu.com whois info] for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].
{{clear}}

==Gallery of China==
<center>{{collapsible
|China
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Pray_for_China.jpg|This is what Chris actually does. Also notice the comment from [[Jesus]] below.
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|Chris putting his fingers in China.
Image:China.JPG|If only it were that easy.
Image:tomtom.jpg|Tom-Tom. Note the [[Chris_and_health#Sexual_health|bend]] in the route.
Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|Artist's impression of Chris experiencing China.
</gallery>}}</center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickles]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Virgin with rage

2012-04-13T03:29:29Z

Gustofwind: /* Virgin No More? */

==To do==
*add references to the phrase "virgin with rage" in Chris's works
*note how he associates violence with sex (he's a "virgin with rage", sex is described in "gory" details, etc.)
*Also how he masturbates or how he drew that picture of Megan to quell violent urges so he doesn't "fly off the handle." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:12, 8 June 2009 (CEST)
*Another thing Chris stole, that line about hormones slam banging is from the first episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Good job Chris, you can't even be a horny creep without stealing something. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 20:37, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

==Views on virginity==
In my opinion, the section could be expanded with statements Chris made about virginity in general and the properties he connects with losing one's virginity.
*He stated several times that just about everyone else loses their virginity in their teens, seemingly unaware of reality and statitics regarding this, for example that 4% of Americans will die a virgin or that 10% of males leaving higher education are still virgins, not to mention about 1 in 3 18-year olds of both sex. He might be simply unaware of this, ignore statistics in his self-centered view or because of the implication that he most likely will be one of the 4%(unless he goes to a prostitute).
*This page could also be linked to the one where he describes his fantasy-scenario of losing it to PandaHalo.
*He also implies that experiencing the "Power of Sex" will instantly transform his character, as he justifies his poor social skills regarding chatting up woman with "How should I know, I'm a Virgin" in the VivitheG-chat. There are probably more references of this kind out there.
*He probably also thinks that it would prove him being hetero. Some people on the autism spectrum experience difficulties identyfying their gender preferences unless they had some kind of physical evidence (I just read of a case of a sexually deviant autist who was sexually assaulted by an older man he regarded as a father figure and therefore concluded he had to be bisexual).
Actually, that would also explain his staunt view on male homosexuality to some extent, because he can not be entirely sure of his sexual identity unless there is something to "prove" it, also evidenced by his "I'm heterosexual" video.
I just want to know your opinions before including and referency stuff.[[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:17, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== On Chris touching Megan ==

There are a couple of needed citations about which specific parts of Megan's anatomy Chris inappropriately touched. It is entirely possible that Chris touched both Megan's hair and Megan's shoulder without her consent.

What supports the notion of Chris touching Megan's hair is [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|this mail]] by Megan. There she states: "''The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so''". It could be assumed from this that Chris, at some point, tried to mimic Nina by patting Megan on the head.

What supports the notion of Chris touching Megan's shoulders is [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Pinned_against_the_wall|this mail]] by Megan. There she states: "''So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall''". What comes to mind when thinking about someone pinning someone else against a wall is for the first person to put his hands in the other person's shoulder area. However, given Chris's weight and clumsiness, it can be argued that he pinned her without the need of using his hands.

The notion of touching her shoulders can also be supported by Lucas' [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan|response]]: "''He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of bros''". Given the relative height between Megan and Chris it is possible that he put his arm around her and rested his hand on her shoulder. Once again, given Chris's peculiar body language and general clumsiness this can't be taken as fact.

So, even thought it is quite probable that Chris touched Megan in those specific spots, it can't be demonstrated as fact given the sources available. I would recommend to rephrase the sentence to a more general description of his inappropriate touching and add Chris's [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_kiss_me.2C_bro|attempt to kiss Megan]]. --[[User:Galford|Galford]] 18:32, 12 January 2012 (PST)

* O.o --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 15:59, 13 January 2012 (PST)

==Virgin No More?==

Is there any way we can confirm this? I mean, on the one hand, ''holy shit''. On the other, it's something so farfetched and shocking that it just doesn't seem possible! I mean, yes, we got a Facebook page, but that could easily be faked. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 10:13, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if this was just another one of Chris' plans to stop the trolls, hoping that we'll stop picking on him once he's a true and honest non virgin. I mean really
what are the chances of Chris getting laid and by a Cherokee at that; the thing he's been sperging over since god knows when? --[[User:Gustofwind|Gustofwind]] 20:29, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Talk:Virgin with rage

2012-04-13T03:29:07Z

Gustofwind: /* Virgin No More? */

Clyde Cash

2011-05-28T08:04:42Z

Gustofwind: /* Currently */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Internet troll<br>Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]], who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow [[Wikipedia:Megatron|Megatron]] behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

==Origins==
For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]
Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.{{cite}}

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Loves Clyde Cash
| video = {{#ev:youtube|73jIxs5yQLg}}
| Stardate = 17 [[April 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCvillelulz CWCvillelulz]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = It's a love/hate relationship.
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| Stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| Stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| Stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
==Sauces==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]
{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga]]

File:Cash1.png

2011-05-28T07:57:28Z

Gustofwind: No one can be trusted when it comes to... CASH!

No one can be trusted when it comes to...

CASH!

Talk:Sonic the Hedgehog

2011-05-08T04:03:40Z

Gustofwind: /* Contradictions */

==To do==
*compare official Sonic image with Chris's shitty version
*appearances by Sonic in the comic
*his role in becoming Sonichu
*his role in the CWC universe

whoa, nod flenders effect. all i can see is wrong, miscolored sonichu. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 07:23, 3 July 2009 (CEST)

==the full summary of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php?title=Sonic_The_Hedgehog&diff=34262&oldid=34257 my edit]==
Just for anyone who's wondering.

''I'm quite certain the "teachings" from Sonic were from AOSTH (the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon Chris watched); at the end of each episode a segment before the credits called "Sonic Says" (or "Sonic Sez" if you're a horrible speller like Tails) would appear, with Sonic teaching kids moral lessons somewhat related or not related at all to the episode the kids watched. It's possible, [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|as Chrissy entered a contest related to the "Sonic Says" segments and randomly won (which triggered all the shit that happening now to him).]]''

so yeah --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 10:40, 18 October 2009 (CEST)

== SEGA redirects here ==

Does it warrant it's own article? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:46, 26 October 2009 (CET)

== Added Nostalgia Critic link ==

* I think it's a pretty good crash course in the shows for people who never gave a shit about Sonic as a kid and still don't today. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 21:10, 25 November 2009 (CET)

==More interested in furry aspects==

It has always come off to me that, while he likes the old-school Sonic games, he more enjoyed the cartoons in the 90s and the later games because they're filled to the brim with furry crap. That's just been my observation. [[User:IMB706|IMB706]] 13:35, 8 December 2009 (CET)

== The Archie Comics ==

Chris has mentioned the Archie Sonic comics a few times in mailbags and other places, and I've noticed there are elements in his stories and comic structure reminiscent of the Archie comics. Think there's enough info to warrant a section or even a page on the Archie Sonic comics? [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 23:40, 1 February 2010 (UTC)
*Agreed. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]
*I started it off, but I leave it to people with more time to flesh it out. i'll provide whatever information I can think of. Firstly I think Mary Lee Walsh's design may have been inspired by the Iron Queen.[[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 02:20, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**Here's another one: In StH #50 Julian (SatAM) Robotnik was killed by his own weapon, the Ultimate Annihilator. He was later replaced by another version of himself from an alternate timeline. This version would then go on to become the main antagonist for the book, Dr. Eggman. Could Chris have possibly used this "alternate doppelganger" plot device to fuel his "Two Marys" theory? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]
***I doubt the Iron Queen theory floats. Remember, the Iron Queen was just a one-shot villain that appeared after the original Robotnik was killed off in the comics (I think it was issue 60). She didn't get her chance to shine until just recently when writer Ian Flynn resurrected the character and made her an actual threat. I could, though, buy the two Marys deal. The character Naistirch, though, may be analog to Evil Sonic/Scourge the Hedgehog--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:24, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
****Ah, yeah you're right. It's most likely just coincidence. IQ showed up in 1998, which was a few years before the MLW saga. Though its possible that Chris might have had a strange attachment to the character. Until he tells us otherwise, then it is very unlikely. I've been trying to mailbag him about the comic, but the sysop doesn't seem interested in those emails. Maybe we can send more emails to him?[[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 12:32, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

== Sonic the Pickle ==

[http://www.destructoid.com/sonic-the-polish-pickle-164889.phtml]

I'm sure we can use this to some extent?[[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 02:31, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
* It would be funny, but seeing no one has replied yet... yeah. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 15:47, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sonic Contest ==

http://www.sonicthehedgehog4.com/contest/

Do you think Chris will enter?

== Hey ==

Does anyone think that we should do a section on what the sonic fanbase thinks of Chris? [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 6:36 3 July 2010
* You mean like the one on the [[Autism]] page? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 15:47, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, well the Sonic fanbase is already a laughing stock, there has to be a few butthurt sonic fanboys due to Chris's presence [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 5:32, 4 July 2010

== Contradictions ==

Just thought I'd point out that Chris claims Sonic was his hero since 1990, but then a user suggests that Chris probably learnt about Sonic from the cartoon which wasn't aired until 1993; why would Chris lie about when he heard about Sonic?

--[[User:Gustofwind|Gustofwind]] 21:03, 7 May 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Sonic the Hedgehog

2011-05-08T04:00:31Z

Gustofwind:

Talk:Tomgirl Pictures

2011-04-29T04:31:14Z

Gustofwind:

In case anyone's wondering, the images are called "TG#" because TomGirl. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:09, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
* '''MY EYES!''' CAN NOT UNSEE! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:13, 28 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

Is there ANY backstory to this?!? What I don't understand is that he 1) went into PUBLIC wearing this stuff (there's a picture of him at his mall) and 2) It looks like he shaved his underarms in one or two pictures...WHY?! Dear God why?! --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:26, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
* Pretty sure he always shaved his underarms. I don't know why I know that. --[[User:Kwippleton|Kwippleton]] 19:38, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:The article could use some clarification as to what the hell is going on here. There's gotta be some sort of story behind this. What's the deal? This is some of Chris's weirdest antics yet. Just when you think the lulcow ran dry... [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 19:42, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

Note that both ears are pierced, not just the gay ear (see: cucumbers on eyes pic). Also, that's his real hair and the images aren't censored; he's wearing a g-string. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:54, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: Are they really pierced or are they those clip on/magnet ones?? Is there anyway we can tell?? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:04, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:: They're real. Trust me. If they were clip ons, there would be more of an indent. I'm also pretty sure that clip ons are bigger. The ones I had as a kid certainly were, and I was pretty into those things. [[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 20:08, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
::: That would make sense...I bet the ring/hoop ones are fake though, there's no hole for them in other pictures (unless he got them later). And why are they so oddly placed?? They aren't on the lobe like they should be...unless they've changed where they put them now (I got mine when I was 7). Or...could he have done them himself??? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:13, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:::: They are real. Also, I'm not aware of any way to have a stud clip-on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 20:35, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
*At this point, he's gotta be fucking with us. He wants to gross us out, so we don't bother him. --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 20:05, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: You think he pierced his ears to get us to leave him alone? [[User:PeachyKeen|PeachyKeen]] 20:20, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

He's using a real camara to take his picture in some of these, that's unusual. I wonder what the poor guy who had to develop them was thinking. O_o [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 20:31, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

This is probably a long shot, however I really think he did this for a girl. Most likely a girl who liked to dress up as a guy and wanted Chris to do the same. Or it's a really, really good troll. Either way, whoever made him do this is really good at what they do, because these pictures are FUCKING DISGUSTING. [[User:Mikau|Mikau]] 20:54, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

The saddest thing about all this is that this didn't even suprise me in the slightest, I wasn't even mildly shocked to see Chris in drag, or even with a sock on his flacid manhood. --[[User:Gustofwind|Gustofwind]] 21:31, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

December 2010

2011-01-02T01:14:13Z

Gustofwind:

'''December 2010''' took place in the shadow of Chris's resignation from the [[Internet]] on 22 November. However it appears Chris' definition of leaving the internet is entirely different to... well pretty much anyone elses, as he still regularly logs into his youtube account and plays games over PSN (which is technically using the internet). He hasn't so much left the internet as he has simply stopped posting videos. It appears Chris' autistic cunning has failed to fool anyone.
==Events==
*2 December - The [[Jackie_E-mails_21|final]] [[Jackie_E-mails_22|batch]] of [[Jackie_E-mails_23|e-mails]] between Chris and [[Jackie]] was leaked.
*21 December - Trolls track down Chris on ''PlayStation Home'' and chase him around.
*25 December - He [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still didn't get a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].
{{Timeline}}

December 2010

2011-01-02T01:13:37Z

Gustofwind:

'''December 2010''' took place in the shadow of Chris's resignation from the [[Internet]] on 22 November. However it appears Chris' definition of leaving the internet is entirely different to... well pretty much anyone elses, as he still regularly logs into his youtube account and plays games over PSN (which is technically using the internet). He hasn't so much left the internet as he has simply stopped posting videos. It appears Chris' autistic cunning has failed to fool pretty much anyone.
==Events==
*2 December - The [[Jackie_E-mails_21|final]] [[Jackie_E-mails_22|batch]] of [[Jackie_E-mails_23|e-mails]] between Chris and [[Jackie]] was leaked.
*21 December - Trolls track down Chris on ''PlayStation Home'' and chase him around.
*25 December - He [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still didn't get a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].
{{Timeline}}

WeighIn

2010-11-25T11:30:51Z

Gustofwind:

'''WeighIn''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. The scale gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). This weight marks him as [[obesity|obese]] for a man of his height (5'10" / 175 cm).<ref>[http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi_scripts/bmi_udaim.pl?htf=5&hti=10&wt=216&scale=english&submit_e=Submit]</ref>

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing blue Crayola Model Magic around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The reason behind this is unknown, although it is likely that he broke them during his daily tard rage and this was simply the best solution his feable mind could produce.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| video = {{#ev:youtube|e9eT2CLp5pc}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|One explanation why Chris weighs less than 300 lbs]]

Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

== References ==
<references/>

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWC Fighter

2010-11-25T11:24:11Z

Gustofwind:

[[File:Tinychunli.jpg|thumb|150px|This Chun-Li can beat the living crap out of Chris.]]
"'''CWC Fighter'''" is a video from 18 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris Chan]] shows us his "martial arts" moves. This is one of the key examples that highlight Chris' dellusional state of mind, in which he believes his fighting "skill" is comparable to the veteran Street Fighter character "Chun-Li", refusing to aknowledge that in fact it more accurately represents that of an injured seal flailing its limbs.

==Video==

{{quote|Watch It, I have a little [[Wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]] within me.|Official description}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Fighter
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IXMP1XmD-cg}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Light_His_Mind's_Darkest_Hour| Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]
| next = [[One_Blessing,_and_One_Curse| One Blessing, and One Curse]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''A camera is pointed at the back of Chris's [[Son-chu|blue stationwagon]] parked in the [[14 Branchland Court|yard]]. A riding [[Father Call|lawnmower]] is visible. Chris walks into the frame, [[Chris and fashion|dressed]] in a bright red T-shirt with an undersized denim vest and blue jeans. He also wears his [[Medallion of fail|Sonichu medallion]]. He stands, legs apart, hands clasped in front of him, eyes closed as if in prayer. He is possibly [[Chris and religion|invoking]] some kind of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|ungodly power]]. He brings his hands to his sides, and with a crazed look he swings his right arm backwards. Aiming to either side of his body, he makes an upwards, poking motion with his left hand, then his right. His fingers are fully extended. He does the same thing, except straight ahead. He punches the air and twirls around, his back to the camera. He makes an awkward spinning kick and recovers ungracefully. He kicks air with his other leg with his arms akimbo and his head cocked to one side. He takes a step back and does two pitiful punching motions aimed at nowhere in particular. He attempts an uppercut and fails horribly at it, vaguely resembling a [[Chris Loses It|wounded animal]]. Chris punches some more air in random directions, but with much, much less force than when he started 20 seconds ago. Chris crouches down and does a very, very slow spinning kick where that looks particularly ineffectual. Chris returns to the camera, flashes a victory sign, and states:'']

I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = FALCCCCCCCCCONNNNNNN CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GS_z-kM64rM}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/puppetchaos puppetchaos]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = (VGM) Remix
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YKXtDWOuL4U}}
| Stardate = 21 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ohhhmyaxels OhhhMyAxels]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = ?????
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SUPER CWC FIGHTER 2 ALPHA: THE THIRD STRIKE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Uy2z-fi9yec}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PhallusKnifeFight PhallusKnifeFight]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan can swim.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vSkP9E_6bMw}}
| Stardate = 25 May 2010
| Maker = TheMammothWasHere
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| Subject = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CCR: Chris Chan Revolution
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bVkzCzTh-7o}}
| Stardate = 5 October 2010
| Maker = GoldPlatedDildo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = DDR Remix
}}

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Wikipedia article on Chris Chan Lee]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]|nextlink=[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

CWC Fighter

2010-11-25T11:23:20Z

Gustofwind:

[[File:Tinychunli.jpg|thumb|150px|This Chun-Li can beat the living crap out of Chris.]]
"'''CWC Fighter'''" is a video from 18 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris Chan]] shows us his "martial arts" moves. This is one of the key examples that highlight Chris' dellusional state of mind, in which he believes his fighting "skill" is comparable to the veteran Street Fighter character "Chun-Li", refusing to aknowledge that in fact it more accurately represents that of an injured seal.

==Video==

{{quote|Watch It, I have a little [[Wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]] within me.|Official description}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Fighter
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IXMP1XmD-cg}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Light_His_Mind's_Darkest_Hour| Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]
| next = [[One_Blessing,_and_One_Curse| One Blessing, and One Curse]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''A camera is pointed at the back of Chris's [[Son-chu|blue stationwagon]] parked in the [[14 Branchland Court|yard]]. A riding [[Father Call|lawnmower]] is visible. Chris walks into the frame, [[Chris and fashion|dressed]] in a bright red T-shirt with an undersized denim vest and blue jeans. He also wears his [[Medallion of fail|Sonichu medallion]]. He stands, legs apart, hands clasped in front of him, eyes closed as if in prayer. He is possibly [[Chris and religion|invoking]] some kind of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|ungodly power]]. He brings his hands to his sides, and with a crazed look he swings his right arm backwards. Aiming to either side of his body, he makes an upwards, poking motion with his left hand, then his right. His fingers are fully extended. He does the same thing, except straight ahead. He punches the air and twirls around, his back to the camera. He makes an awkward spinning kick and recovers ungracefully. He kicks air with his other leg with his arms akimbo and his head cocked to one side. He takes a step back and does two pitiful punching motions aimed at nowhere in particular. He attempts an uppercut and fails horribly at it, vaguely resembling a [[Chris Loses It|wounded animal]]. Chris punches some more air in random directions, but with much, much less force than when he started 20 seconds ago. Chris crouches down and does a very, very slow spinning kick where that looks particularly ineffectual. Chris returns to the camera, flashes a victory sign, and states:'']

I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = FALCCCCCCCCCONNNNNNN CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GS_z-kM64rM}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/puppetchaos puppetchaos]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = (VGM) Remix
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YKXtDWOuL4U}}
| Stardate = 21 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ohhhmyaxels OhhhMyAxels]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = ?????
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SUPER CWC FIGHTER 2 ALPHA: THE THIRD STRIKE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Uy2z-fi9yec}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PhallusKnifeFight PhallusKnifeFight]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan can swim.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vSkP9E_6bMw}}
| Stardate = 25 May 2010
| Maker = TheMammothWasHere
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| Subject = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CCR: Chris Chan Revolution
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bVkzCzTh-7o}}
| Stardate = 5 October 2010
| Maker = GoldPlatedDildo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = DDR Remix
}}

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Wikipedia article on Chris Chan Lee]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]|nextlink=[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

CWC Fighter

2010-11-25T11:18:31Z

Gustofwind:

[[File:Tinychunli.jpg|thumb|150px|This Chun-Li can beat the living crap out of Chris.]]
"'''CWC Fighter'''" is a video from 18 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris Chan]] shows us his "martial arts" moves, or what can more accurately be described as flailing his limbs about like an injured seal.

==Video==

{{quote|Watch It, I have a little [[Wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]] within me.|Official description}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Fighter
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IXMP1XmD-cg}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Light_His_Mind's_Darkest_Hour| Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]
| next = [[One_Blessing,_and_One_Curse| One Blessing, and One Curse]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''A camera is pointed at the back of Chris's [[Son-chu|blue stationwagon]] parked in the [[14 Branchland Court|yard]]. A riding [[Father Call|lawnmower]] is visible. Chris walks into the frame, [[Chris and fashion|dressed]] in a bright red T-shirt with an undersized denim vest and blue jeans. He also wears his [[Medallion of fail|Sonichu medallion]]. He stands, legs apart, hands clasped in front of him, eyes closed as if in prayer. He is possibly [[Chris and religion|invoking]] some kind of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|ungodly power]]. He brings his hands to his sides, and with a crazed look he swings his right arm backwards. Aiming to either side of his body, he makes an upwards, poking motion with his left hand, then his right. His fingers are fully extended. He does the same thing, except straight ahead. He punches the air and twirls around, his back to the camera. He makes an awkward spinning kick and recovers ungracefully. He kicks air with his other leg with his arms akimbo and his head cocked to one side. He takes a step back and does two pitiful punching motions aimed at nowhere in particular. He attempts an uppercut and fails horribly at it, vaguely resembling a [[Chris Loses It|wounded animal]]. Chris punches some more air in random directions, but with much, much less force than when he started 20 seconds ago. Chris crouches down and does a very, very slow spinning kick where that looks particularly ineffectual. Chris returns to the camera, flashes a victory sign, and states:'']

I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = FALCCCCCCCCCONNNNNNN CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GS_z-kM64rM}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/puppetchaos puppetchaos]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = (VGM) Remix
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YKXtDWOuL4U}}
| Stardate = 21 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ohhhmyaxels OhhhMyAxels]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = ?????
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SUPER CWC FIGHTER 2 ALPHA: THE THIRD STRIKE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Uy2z-fi9yec}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PhallusKnifeFight PhallusKnifeFight]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan can swim.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vSkP9E_6bMw}}
| Stardate = 25 May 2010
| Maker = TheMammothWasHere
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| Subject = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CCR: Chris Chan Revolution
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bVkzCzTh-7o}}
| Stardate = 5 October 2010
| Maker = GoldPlatedDildo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = DDR Remix
}}

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Wikipedia article on Chris Chan Lee]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]|nextlink=[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

Obesity

2010-11-25T11:08:54Z

Gustofwind:

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|A fine example of severe obesity.]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], [[Bob]] and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Futhermore, in his numerous dating profiles to discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But that's a whole other problem.

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
[[File:Futurechan.PNG|240px|left]]
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." One possible explanation is that Chris doesn't know his actual weight. It's anyone's guess as to when he last stepped on a scale. And considering how much fast food he consumes, it is safe to assume he gains a significant amount of weight each year. One might guess he may not have weighed himself since high school (this is a complete guess, based on nothing), in which case, assuming he has bulked up a good amount since then, he would believe he weighs approximately 200 lbs, either being too mentally crippled by autism or being too mentally crippled by his [[ego]] to notice how much fatter he has gotten. The only other explanation is that Chris has little to no muscle mass, with a body that is mostly fat (which, considering his lifestyle, is not unlikely). Considering muscle is denser than fat, it would be possible for Chris to weigh as little as 200 lbs. Even if he did weigh 200 lbs, though, his BMI would be 28.7, which is overweight.

Taking Chris's height into consideration (5'10"; 1.78 m), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 lbs (136 kg) thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for someone Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 (73kg) to 175 lbs (79 kg), but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.

Chris has probably asked his [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] about being fat. Being the coddling cow that she is, she more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).

In a [[WeighIn| recent video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to [[fail|fool people into believing he's not extremely fat.]]

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]]{{cite}}, during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us see is a fat autistic manchild.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Furthermore, [[Blanca]] was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.

==I mean, just ''look'' at him.==

In [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], Chris is seen wearing a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. [[Bunny Hop|When he moves up and down]] the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. [[I AM STRONG|When he flexes—''if'' he flexes—there's no way to tell.]]

Chris is so fat, when he fell no one was laughing... but the ground was cracking up.

==Places where Chris likes to eat==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
* [[51 50]]
* [[Muscle bra]]
* [[Sonichu's Edge]]
*[[A Workout]]
*[[A Hike]]
==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

100 2357.MOV

2010-11-23T18:14:19Z

Gustofwind:

{{recent}}
'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly. Later that day Chris decided to go the extra mile (not literally of course, we all know how much Chris hates physical activity) and deleted his Youtube account. Expect a new account to surface in roughly about 2 weeks.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

Attention: Read my lips.

Online socialization is a [[Muscle_bra|bust]]. [[Chris_and_English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: NO MORE VIDEOS!

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]].

[''[[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal, shaking head]]'']

I'm out.

''[Camera turns off]''

==See also==
Chris's five previous claims that he was leaving the Internet forever:
*[[YouTube Finale]] (30 March 2009)
*[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV]] (21 March 2010)
*[[100 2188]] (27 May 2010}
*[[100 2189]] (31 May 2010)
*[[6 June 2010]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100_2278]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2278

2010-11-23T18:10:57Z

Gustofwind:

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris struggles even to hold on to the bar.]]
'''100 2278''' is a video [[Chris]] created on 12 [[October 2010]], leaked on 6 [[November 2010]]. Chris attempts to do pull-ups, but shortly after beginning, gives up and admits defeat due to his [[obesity|weight]]. This event marks an historic day in CWC history, as it is the first time we have witnessed Chris aknowledge that he is not in fact, super human.

__TOC__
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2278
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XWTsHUjAwl8}}
| stardate = 6 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ToJackie]]
| next = [[100 2357.MOV]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see Chris's hands and knees on top on a jungle gym.'']

[''Chris hangs from a bar, not far off the ground for a few seconds before losing his grip and dropping to the ground.'']

[''Chris grunts, tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Ugh...

[''Looks to the camera.'']

Chris: Alright fine, I can't do a pull up. At least I tried.

[''Jumps up and tries to grab the bar again.'']

Chris: Still tryin'.

[''Grunting sounds.''] Well, can't do it.

[''Tries to do a pull-up again with visibly shaking arms, grunts and sighs.'']

Chris: Uh... Too sensitive for my... [''sound of slapping belly''] weight.

[''Chris walks off camera.'']

==Images==
Accompanying the leaked video were a selection of images, presumed to be ones Chris took for [[Jackie]].
<center><gallery>
File:100_2242.JPG
File:100_2243.JPG
File:100_2244.JPG|The [[McIntire Park]] sign
File:100_2245.JPG
File:100_2246.JPG
File:100_2247.JPG
File:100_2248.JPG
File:100_2249.JPG
File:100_2250.JPG
File:100_2251.JPG
File:100_2252.JPG
File:100_2253.JPG
File:100_2296.JPG|Now with extra [[Plush Breasts of Fail|boobage]]
File:100_2299.JPG|'''TITTY MONSTER'''
File:BeatSketcher20101012.png|Has Chris been improving his art during the dry spell? '''[[Chris and art|SPOILER: NO]]'''
File:ccsonichu.jpg|Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|fursona]], from [[ECV 00002]]
</gallery></center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Private Chris Chan, U.S.M.C. Maggot
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F39Q8GS0z8M}}
| Stardate = 7 November 2010
| Maker = MiHiVidz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chan's Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rwGzjMECCAw}}
| Stardate = 8 November 2010
| Maker = raoulduke138
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

== External links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?8ca48v808ae5m0p Download archive]
* [http://goo.gl/AeGkP Mirror]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ToJackie]]|nextlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

100 2266

2010-11-23T18:08:02Z

Gustofwind:

[[File:pedoforkgrimace.jpg|thumb|Grimace and some [[Pedofork|gal-pals]]]]

'''100 2266''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2010]]. Continuing with the [[McDonald's]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]], who apparently is [[autistic]], a concept lifted from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears|Prick Up Your Ears]]." He then removes his costume and plays the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing [[Wikipedia:Mark Wills|Mark Wills]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Don't Laugh at Me|Don't Laugh at Me]]". Chris finishes up the video by dispelling some rumors, confirming that [[Jackie]] is indeed real, that he [[Chris humps his PS3|doesn't hump his PS3]], nor any [[Chandler Cats|animals]].

Interestingly enough, the Grimace was originally a villain that was constantly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1DlNbXviQQ being trolled by Ronald]. Chris's ability to impersonate the fat, amorphous, greedy, amoral, sugar-addicted, obsessive, naïve, self-delusional, egotistical, cave-dwelling, hoarding, anthropomorphic blob of lard's original design is uncanny, even down to his bitch-tits as stand-ins for the Grimace's lower arms.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this entire event, is the fact that it didn't come as even a slight suprise to anyone; we've actually come to expect this level of autistic expression.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gHZwB75dN44}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = [[100 2267]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:creep.jpg|thumb|A rather disturbing interpretation]]

[''Chris is dressed in three pieces of purple construction paper on his face, chest, and stomach assembled to vaguely resemble the McDonalds character Grimace'']

[''Singing in a deep [[retarded]] voice'']
:Hello, I'm the Grimace, I'm not dead.
:I've been down; I'm feelin' sad.
:All this time in my childhood, everybody thought I was different

Seriously folks, I was treated differently because I was [[autistic]] too. I am..-was autistic and very... very shy. Uhhh [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School#Chris's side of the story|the teachers they took me, they picked on me, they beat up on me, they recorded my screams.]] What a sad life for me as a Grimace. [[Chris and his ego|I hate being treated differently]], I don't like being treated differently. No one likes being treated differently! People should be [[Death threats|friendly towards each other]]. People please, be friendly towards each other. Do not laugh, because laughing is sad. Laughing at other peoples expenses makes them sad. It makes me sad, and don't make the Grimace sad.
[''Chris pulls off the construction paper on his face'']

['''Normal' voice''] Don't make the Grimace sad, cause you could make me glad. [''Chris removes the second two pieces of construction paper taped to him.''] By not...being an instigator and gettin' laughs at other peoples expenses.

[''Pulls out his [[Guitar Hero]] guitar from a pile of shit'']

Here, let me sing a little song, it might clear things up a bit.

[''Strums [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(song)"Bingo"] on the strum bar for about 10 seconds'']

:Oh my little boy with [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The one they call the geek.
:[[Megan|A little girl who never smiles.]] Cause I've got braces on my teeth.
:And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.
:I'm that kid, on every playground who's always chosen last.
:A single teenage mother tryin' to overcome my past.
:You don't have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask?

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Aspergers syndrome|call me names]], [[Twin Falling Towers|don't get your pleasure from my pain]].
:In [[GodJesus|God]]'s eyes we're all the same. Some day we'll all have [[Anime Wings|perfect wings]]. Don't laugh at me.

:I'm the cripple on the corner, you pass me on the street.
:I wouldn't be out here [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging]], [[Obesity|if I had enough to eat.]]
:And don't think I don't notice, that our eyes never meet.
:I lost my wife and [[Reginald Chandler|little boy]] when someone cross the yellow line.
:The day we laid them on the ground, is the day I lost my mind.
:And right now I'm down to holdin', [[Attraction Sign|this little cardboard sign]] so...

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Naive|call me names]], don't get your pleasures from my pain.
:In God's eyes, we're all just the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:Don't laugh at me.

:[[Obesity|I'm fat]], I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, [''Chris turns his head and puts on a stupid voice, defeating the purpose of the song''.] I'm DEAF, I'm blind. Hey, aren't we all? [''Holds out hand towards camera in an attempt to look poignant'']

:Don't laugh at me, don't [[Homos|call me names]], don't get your pleasure from my pain.
:In God's eyes we're all the same, some day we'll all have perfect wings.
:[''Chris does a [[Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|dramatic glasses removal]] and says in a much more serious tone''] Don't laugh at me.

[''Reads off a paper he's been holding''] Original song sung by Mark Willis. Look it up on iTunes and wherever. Seriously, [[Secret Weapon|don't laugh at me, and I won't laugh at you either.]] Nobody is perfect. So quit trying to pick on us for our pain. And also for your information, there is a woman named Jackie. It is not some name I've given to my console. And I do not hump my console at all. I only did it [[Chris humps his PS3|that one time]] cause I was blackmailed. And I would never do that to any animals. [[Chris_and_Sex#Bestiality|Bestiality is WRONG]]. And don't believe any rumors you hear about me, especially an obvious one like [''Retarded voice''] detaching a [[vagina]] from a [[Kimmi|sex doll]] and putting it on a [[PlayStation 3]]... or an [[Xbox]]! [''Regular voice''] Too incredible to believe. It is false, no matter how you imagine it. [''pause'']

So there. Have a good day.

==See also==
*[[100 2265]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2265]]|nextlink=[[100 2267]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]