CWCki - User contributions [en]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2025-05-09T14:57:53Z

Har0 Har0: very autistic edit of specifying which lego set Chris got Barb, the box art 95% similar to the set described in the edit

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a 13-minute video filmed by [[Chris]] on [[Christmas|25]] [[December 2004]]. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] and the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and the holiday decorations at [[14 Branchland Court]], while the second part features Chris (then age 22) opening some presents with [[Bob]] (77) and [[Barb]] (63). One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris, which is all about the [[Love Quest]] and not the holiday. Also noteworthy is Bob and Barb's demeanor – they sound outright ''depressed'' here, almost as if it dawned on them that this is how their adult son is behaving, and will continue to behave for the rest of his life. Even sadder is that this is also one of the only documented times that Bob, Barb, and Chris have had a recording of themselves in the same frame.

Chris's choice of gifts is particularly unusual – Chris takes great pride in presenting his mother with the iconic snowglobe of fail ([[Chris and his ego|which has a picture of him inside it]]) and a Hamtaro toy (the toy is broken, as it was apparently the last one in the store). For his father, Chris offers a "choice" between ''Fraggle Rock'' on VHS, or ''Fraggle Rock'' on DVD. Why Chris believes that a 77-year-old world music collector would be particularly interested in a live-action puppet show aimed at children is not made clear. Note that Bob's "choice" here means very little – Bob decides on the DVD, but ultimately accepts the VHS after some pressure from Chris, suggesting that Chris intends to keep the DVD version for himself.

This video, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], is actually from the Director's Cut version of the "[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]" DVD. It is also one of the rare glimpses we've seen of the Chandler living room in its less cluttered state.

__TOC__

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| ytid = ktQ9uBu2n2g
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|[[C-Mas]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 ''(A TV in the background can be heard playing [[Wikipedia:A Christmas Story|A Christmas Story]].)
 '''Chris:''' 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the [[List of toys|junk]] in [[Chris's room]])''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have [[Tour of Chris's House|plenty of stuff around the house]]. On this day of... [[Speech impediment|Hwey-zeus's]] birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the rest of the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a SpongeBob SquarePants action figure)''
 SpongeBob SquarePants! ''(Chris poorly imitates SpongeBob's laugh)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 3")''
 And [[Vidya|a Game Boy Advance title]].
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. The doghouse is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 '''Chris:''' And we wander upon our wondrous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a [[rainbow]]-colored paper cutout, with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 '''Chris:''' And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 '''Bob:''' ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Makin' my Christmas movie!
 '''Bob:''' I say you're wasting your chip.
 '''Chris:''' But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 '''Bob:''' I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 '''Chris:''' A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 '''Bob:''' ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 '''Chris:''' Yup! You're having a great start.
 '''Bob:''' ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 '''Chris:''' As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 '''Chris:''' Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 '''Barb:''' Merry Christmas.
 '''Chris:''' Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 '''Bob:''' What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 '''Chris:''' ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 '''Bob:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' Givin' you a little kiss.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2
| ytid = ct_Gem8qvnE
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 '''Bob:''' ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 '''Chris:''' OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 '''Bob:''' ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 '''Barb:''' Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 '''Chris:''' I'll wait... I'll wait.
 '''Barb:''' You-
 '''Chris:''' It's OK, I'll wait.
 '''Barb:''' It'll take a long time.
 '''Chris:''' Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 '''Bob:''' Am I supposed to read it?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, read it.
 '''Bob:''' Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 '''Bob:''' ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic, uh...love quest." Phooey. "And...if Santa doesn't bring me... one..." No Chris, no comment(??). [''pause, exasperated sigh''] "...like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]..." [''laughs''] [[Affair with Mother|It'll come, Christian]], "hope you all... like my... presents."
 '''Barb:''' OK.
 '''Bob:''' ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 '''Chris:''' Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 '''Bob:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 '''Bob:''' No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 '''Chris:''' Really?
 '''Bob:''' DV- I mean VHS.
 '''Chris:''' So you want the VHS?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 '''Bob:''' I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 '''Barb:''' Why do you have it on both? (?)
 '''Chris:''' I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ...It's ''Fraggle Rock'', Father, that's what's on there.
 '''Bob:''' I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 '''Chris:''' Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 '''Bob:''' VHS works better in my system.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 '''Bob:''' I cain't get it open.
 '''Barb:''' That's alright. ... We're fine.
 '''Chris:''' ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''(sigh)'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 '''Bob:''' You used up all the tape.
 '''Chris:''' Not ''all'' the tape, Father.
 '''Bob:''' 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set, number 3585 Snowboard Super Pipe from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 '''Chris:''' Snowboarding stuff!
 '''Barb:''' Let's put it on the floor.
 '''Chris:''' Yup.
 '''Bob:''' ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 '''Barb:''' You can open another one.
 '''Chris:''' I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 '''Bob:''' I like the Fraggles.
 '''Chris:''' Maybe I'll do this one.
 '''Bob:''' Fraggles are cute.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' ''(in a revolting baby-talk voice)'' Have you- I got you ''Hamtaro''.
 '''Barb:''' Oh... that's cute.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Barb:''' Thank you.
 '''Bob:''' Who is he?
 '''Chris:''' ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 '''Bob:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 '''Bob:''' ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 '''Barb:''' (???)
 '''Chris:''' Oh, that's my present for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah]]. I, 'cause, you know, she- she might come over.
 '''Bob:''' Don't know if she will or not.
 '''Chris:''' Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away – presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 '''Bob:''' ''(reading label)'' "''Fraggle Rock''".
 '''Chris:''' ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 '''Bob:''' Good old Fraggle people.
 '''Chris:''' ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 '''Bob:''' ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 '''Chris:''' Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 '''Bob:''' You can keep ''Fraggle Rock''... in your DVD player.
 '''Chris:''' ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 '''Barb:''' You're welcome.
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 '''Barb:''' Don't hurt my head.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 '''Bob:''' I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 '''Chris:''' You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry.
 '''Bob:''' I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 '''Chris:''' Snow globe! [[Chris and his Ego|With me in it!]]
 '''Barb:''' Merry Christmas, Robert.
 '''Chris:''' It's also got- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on one side, Sonichu on the other.
 '''Barb:''' That's true.
 '''Chris:''' I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 '''Bob:''' How about that.
 '''Barb:''' And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 '''Bob:''' No, no.
 '''Chris:''' Yup.
 '''Bob:''' ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got- the pho, photos are in a- are behind a plastic. I mean- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 '''Barb:''' Don't open it, don't open it.
 '''Chris:''' You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 '''Bob:''' Well... we know that.
 '''Chris:''' See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 '''Bob:''' Oh. So they're waterproof.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they're fine.
 '''Bob:''' That's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got that o- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 '''Bob:''' An Autobot?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Bob:''' Didn't know they were that fancy.
 '''Chris:''' Well these guys are.
 '''Barb:''' The Transformer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 '''Chris:''' Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 '''Bob:''' Hooray.
 '''Barb:''' Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 '''Chris:''' Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 '''Bob:''' Careful with that cord.
 '''Chris:''' ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 '''Barb:''' Yeah. I think it's broken.
 '''Chris:''' Um, it-it c- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 '''Barb:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' It's not like it's gonna leak.
 '''Barb:''' Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 '''Chris:''' Yup, Merry Christmas!
 '''Barb:''' Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs where it's warm.
 '''Bob:''' Have a snappy New Year.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, snappy New Year, huh? ''(heads over to camera)''
 '''Bob:''' Not on the couch/count(??).
 '''Chris:''' Yep! ''(turns camera off)''

{{articleofthenow}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:2004]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-25]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2004-12-25]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2024-05-02T18:28:07Z

Har0 Har0:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth and final [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|call between Alec and Chris]], which took place 25 [[February 2010]].

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in [[Issue 10]], given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and [[Sonichu Revolution]] comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything fine. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "[[Sandy]]", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

[[Christian Love Day]] is also brought up. Chris denies [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND saying that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right". When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a pathetic cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question.

Chris also admits that he has no objections being kissed up to, which has been [[Ego|fairly obvious]] for quite a long time. He then goes on to prove he knows little to nothing of Christianity, his professed belief ([[Chris and religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits to believing Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not okay to [[parody]] a parody (it's as nonsensical as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]], for no reason whatsoever.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of Alec; this ironically serves as a perfect metaphor towards the relationship between the two.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|iu02fNtlmdQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:''' But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like...

'''Alec:''' [''shouting over Chris''] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' Not your character! Not-- no, Simonla was not your character! She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is, uh, [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like, Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which, by corollary, makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes my mind's a little slow.

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. So it should be an equally important holiday in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, y'know like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, y'know "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a 100-- It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's... uh, history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16th I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Mexicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

'''Alec:'''Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about [[Chris and his ego|your ego]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote ego.

'''Alec:''' What, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' You brutally killed me.

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a dildo and a sports bra as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah P-A-L-I-N, actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you cursed me with the death threats?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you claim to be a Christian, this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's...

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''frustrated sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla. Admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, no, they actually happened.

'''Alec:''' [''loud clap; probably Alec facepalming''] Yes, they ''happened'', Chris, but your ''responses'' were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to be all, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''Robot Chicken''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, I don't mind gore, up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was meant to be a funny parody. See, I don't take myself completely, I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10 I will be making less appearances in the book...

'''Chris:'''-in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Well, I overestimated myself!

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' Sonichu is your ''job'', Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he is your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:'''I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-[''hangs up'']

'''Alec:''' "Mis-"?

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBNTkyWTduZ0JXOXc The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu02fNtlmdQ YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2024-05-02T18:15:55Z

Har0 Har0: edited the "not your character" part of the transcript to be more in line with the subtitles of the call from Comprehensive History part 26

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth and final [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|call between Alec and Chris]], which took place 25 [[February 2010]].

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in [[Issue 10]], given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and [[Sonichu Revolution]] comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything fine. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "[[Sandy]]", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[Chris and his ego|ego]].

[[Christian Love Day]] is also brought up. Chris denies [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND saying that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right". When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a pathetic cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question.

Chris also admits that he has no objections being kissed up to, which has been [[Ego|fairly obvious]] for quite a long time. He then goes on to prove he knows little to nothing of Christianity, his professed belief ([[Chris and religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits to believing Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not okay to [[parody]] a parody (it's as nonsensical as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[List of Chris's lies|blatant lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]], for no reason whatsoever.

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of Alec; this ironically serves as a perfect metaphor towards the relationship between the two.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|iu02fNtlmdQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:''' But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like...

'''Alec:''' [''shouting over Chris''] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' Not your character! Not-- no, Simonla was not your character! She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is, uh, [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like, Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which, by corollary, makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes my mind's a little slow.

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. They should be equally important holidays in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16 I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Messicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

'''Alec:'''Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about [[Chris and his ego|your ego]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote ego.

'''Alec:''' What, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' You brutally killed me.

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a dildo and a sports bra as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah P-A-L-I-N, actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you cursed me with the death threats?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you claim to be a Christian, this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's...

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''frustrated sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla. Admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, no, they actually happened.

'''Alec:''' [''loud clap; probably Alec facepalming''] Yes, they ''happened'', Chris, but your ''responses'' were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to be all, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''Robot Chicken''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, I don't mind gore, up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was meant to be a funny parody. See, I don't take myself completely, I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10 I will be making less appearances in the book...

'''Chris:'''-in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Well, I overestimated myself!

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' Sonichu is your ''job'', Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he is your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:'''I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-[''hangs up'']

'''Alec:''' "Mis-"?

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBNTkyWTduZ0JXOXc The original audio]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu02fNtlmdQ YouTube version]

{{AsperchuSaga}}
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Jackie

2024-04-03T07:30:11Z

Har0 Har0:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Troll|She was primarily played by [[Alec Benson Leary]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/question-about-jacky.994/post-65366</ref>}}
{{Wise|Jackie was from the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] universe and that she was real.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>}}
{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Jacklyn Romy
|image = Jackiethumb.png|imagesize=250px
|year = 1987
|gender = Female
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|occupation = Magazine editor
}}

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free <s>girl</s>]] [[troll]] whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]. She became his [[sweetheart]] from [[April 2010|April]]-[[October 2010]], and Chris made her many videos. According to one of Chris' leaked Facebook statuses in [[February 2012]], he had resumed contact with her, before blocking her that [[April 2012|April]] after several private videos Chris made for her were leaked onto the Internet. However, in May, he re-friended her on Facebook.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==
{{collapsible|Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile|

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build]], [[Fangs|straight teeth]], and a [[Chris_and_health#Dental_health|good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonald's |go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend at my family's cabin, travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a family]] with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, [[Hanky panky|Sex]], Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], [[Fashion Square Mall|Shopping]], Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random-access humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming?'''
[[Bionic the Hedgehog|Wilt Chamberlain]], [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homos|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[bigotry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[Chris and art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickle|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''}}

==First contact==

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail. She would also revive the [[GAMe PLACe]] [[Saga]] by getting him to [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|revisit the store]] in an attempt to get unbanned.

At the end of the month, Jackie sent a slew of e-mails criticizing him for his laziness and his [[Vanessa_AIM_Chat_2|lack of loyalty]], which was prompted by her discovering the [[CWCki]]. Chris denied all of her accusations, ending with her ceasing communication with him for 2 months. The relationship rekindled when Jackie would discover [[For Women ONLY|one of]] Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] animations, where he gave a shout-out to her. While Jackie would initially start emailing him out of confusion and frustration, their conversations turned casual and they would start talking regularly.

By September 2010, Chris and Jackie had settled down into a friendly long-distance correspondence, as evidenced by their chats, which covered a range of topics featuring open and [[Honest Content|honest content]]. In September 2010, Jackie repeatedly asked Chris to draw very specific pictures of the two of them having sex. As Jackie had a gangbang fetish, she requested that Chris draw multiple men masturbating to the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to cop out of the deal by either drawing women or somehow concealing the [[pickle|male genitalia]] on their onlookers (at one point claiming that a puddle of [[semen]] counted as one man who had finished masturbating and left the scene). On May 6 2012, a fourth picture was released, this time showing the pair having sex in a pool as two pairs of feet look on. Jackie has an odd resemblance to [[Family Guy|Lois Griffin]].

==Lars==
[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|An artist's depiction of Lars.]]

'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]] (which he eventually stopped buying upon realizing that it was an unhealthy addiction). He also made Jackie have an abortion against her will, and later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref> Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

[[Image:Lars Paradise.jpg|thumb|left|Lars Paradise by [https://javajake.newgrounds.com/ Java Jake]]]

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris, who shockingly got along well with Lars after a while. Lars was portrayed by [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] mimicking an exaggerated Ebonics dialect, which Chris eventually started to emulate.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/abl-q-a.805/#post-54378</ref>

==[[Jackie's Halloween Contest|The Halloween Contest]]==

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|The Cosplays]]

On [[September 2010|September]] Jackie would make Chris [[Song for Jackie.MOV|cosplay as Mr Popo]] for her, which he would agree to do. This seemly gave Jackie an idea, as on the same day she gave Chris a challenge, to make a cosplay video for every day of [[October 2010|October]]. He would initially refuse it, which made Jackie cry, but after some rule verifications Chris would be completely on board. Most of Chris's cosplays are bizarre depictions of the characters that most would not recognize if not told who it's supposed to be.

Chris would make a video daily for most of the month, but in the last few days he would fail to produce the videos Jackie wanted. This would cause her to break up with him in [[November 2010|November]], sending him a series of incredibly long-winded emails, chastising him for every single one of his flaws. She would then go back to dating Lars.

==Tomgirl Saga==

For months, Jackie and Chris wouldn't communicate much, with maybe an email or two every month. This all changed on [[March 2011]], when Chris would tell Jackie about his awakening as a [[Tomgirl]], also sending her a bunch of photos of him in feminine attire. Jackie would respond during [[April 2011|April]], supposedly turned on by the images and said that 'I liked the appetizer, but I'd really love a main course!'. She explained in a subsequent e-mail that Lars had gone on a bender, and while she still wanted him as a friend they were not in a relationship anymore. This opened the gate for Chris and Jackie's relationship to continue.

Jackie used Chris's much more disturbing appearance to get him to create much more disturbing content, such as the now infamous [[Cakefarts]], along with many other videos of Chris doing degrading acts. These videos all supposedly turned Jackie on, despite them all being nothing but horrifying. Jackie would offer Chris [[China|sex]] in return for these videos, but for [[Troll|obvious reasons]] this would never happen

This saga was abruptly cut short when [[Bob]] died. Chris would send an email to Jackie grieving over his loss, and getting mad at the grim reaper for making him die so early. According to [[Marvin]], Chris had a phone call with Jackie where he cried and sobbed over Bob's death, though it was never released out of respect. This is the last known interaction between Jackie and Chris, likely due to Jackie finding it immoral to troll Chris while he's grieving.

==In the comic==
[[File:Jackie and Vulva.jpg|thumb]]

When Chris resumed ''Sonichu'' in 2017, he decided to include events that had happened during the years-long hiatus which began in [[2009]]. Jackie and a character she created in 2011 named Vulva Pie<ref>[[July 2017 Patreon posts#Alt-Cover]]</ref> are featured in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. In the story, Vulva has a fling with [[Robbie Sonichu]] in summer 2011, which is cut short when Jackie, her mother, dumps Chris and leaks the content she got from him, compelling them both to go "on the lam".

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] explained Vulva's name:

{{quoteboxred|We came up with the name "Vulva Pie" during Jackie and we didn't explain to Chris what it meant.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-17-sonichu-12-pages-15-26.32353/page-3#post-2434229</ref>

He's too autistic to change it now. Her name is Vulva in his head, and while he's annoyed that trolls got him to name her that, it's too late now as far as he's concerned.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-17-sonichu-12-pages-15-26.32353/page-4#post-2434568</ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Template:JackieSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

March 2024

2024-03-18T16:57:26Z

Har0 Har0:

{{Ongoing}}

'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2024]]'''.

== Notable events ==
* '''2 March''' - Chris streams [[March 2024 livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching|Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching]].
*'''5 March''' - Chris gets himself featured in the daily community soapbox of ''[[Equestria Daily]]'' as a joke, before having his content scrubbed.
*'''17 March''' - The 85th part of ''[[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' is released, marking the end of the documentary's first season
* '''27 March''' - The first anniversary of Chris's release from jail.
==Activity==
===Posts===
*[[Equestria Daily]]
*[[March 2024 social media posts]]
===Videos===
*[[Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching]]
{{timeline}}

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2024-02-19T18:28:54Z

Har0 Har0:

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] that are dated between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.

Throughout this time period, Megan is generally friendly to Chris (even if a majority of their conversations are her requesting him to buy stuff for her on [[eBay]]). However, if her e-mails are anything to go by, Chris is already acting creepy towards her, with Megan repeatedly telling him off for touching her, telling her he wants to be her boyfriend, and acting rude towards other men who already have girlfriends. She'd be civil towards him in this period, but this wouldn't last forever.

==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' tape===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called [[Meg Griffin|Meg]], it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant ''[sic]''. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 22 April 2006 
Subject: please forgive me...:(

''[Part of the mail is missing]''

third which is probably the worst case yet- 
I have kept this secret until John's birthday. I have been saving money to buy both John and I a [[Nintendo DS]] and a couple games. So I have a DS now. But PLEASE DON"T BE MAD...especially since I was fooling around with John's gamecube and saw some of the note...I didn't read all of it. Something like make sure I don't get a DS with Nintendogs? Were you planning to give one to me? I feel terrible. I [[Biological_clock|didn't get any sleep last night]] due to worrying about it.

I had a feeling you would have already spent your [[money]] on one for me. If so please, you may return it. I don't want to seem ungrateful but they are expensive and I just can't accept such a pricey gift from you. But if you can't return it or get any cash or credit from trade-in, well what can I say? I just don't know what to say. I feel rotten but I hope I'm not to blame. I didn't know. We BOTH didn't know. I hope you understand and I hope you are not [[angry]]. 
I am flattered and amazed you would go through such trouble, thank you friend! :)

Is there any way I can make it up? I'm [[Remorse|VERY DEEPLY SORRY]] Christian. PLEASE understand it. I hope I'm not at fault. I should have told you I got one a few days ago. I hope it isn't too late. But I thought it was right of me to tell the truth. I hate not being [[honest]]. I'm like a military dog- loyal to the end.

Well my DS is blue. I have Chihuahua game and Yoshi Touch n' Go 
For my brother he will get a silver DS with Lab game and Mario Kart, but my mom and aunt have helped me aquire ''[sic]'' them. 
Yoshi game is lovely and relaxing. A good bedtime game! ;) 
I like your yoshi game too. 
Hey I was wondering since we get ripped off at gamestores why not trade games with each other? 
I may have a few games I lost interest too. A couple from the Crash Bandicoot series and maybe some gameboy games. John has a couple [[Star Wars]] games for the gamecube he doesn't want. 
Do you have anything you don't play anymore? And hey maybe after a while we could always trade back if we miss our old games. I'm glad you liked my spoiled Shadow2 chao! He's a good boy!

Well I better send this email I hope you get it in time. And once again I'm very sorry. I don't feel like I'm a good friend but I'm being honest. I hope our friendship remains.

Thank you}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan tells Chris to think of her as Knuckles===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 22 May 2006 
Subject: Hey

Hey! Ok, maybe I should get this off my chest first-

Well I like us being [[Gal_pal|friends]] but please understand that I wish for no [[Sweetheart|deeper relationship]]. I just don't care or have that desire for a boyfriend no matter who he is ok? 
And to be honest I felt awkward on how you all of sudden said you wanted to come to my house. Lemme just say this- You should think of me as [[Knuckles]]! I'm the kind of person who although is a loyal friend- I can only take so much friendly meetings. You know how Knuckles will hang around a bit but then take off once again. I'm like that. Hanging out on fridays is really the most I can do. I know that probably doesn't seem fair to you but you are a different person with your own [[autism|different needs]]. I'm my own person with my own different needs- or should I say unwanted needs! ;) So please could we put off park meetings for a while? Pretty please with a Yoshi Berry on top! :D And also please give me a little more space at the [[The_GAMe_PLACe|store]]. I don't always like having a second shadow while looking at stuff. DO NOT take this as an insult- you have no idea how many times I have to bark at John sometimes!! 
So from now on I'd like a little time alone looking at models that will never come in and then I'll come to the middle and [[Card_games|play]]! I love playing now since I made a new refreshing deck! Speaking of decks, Print out that email you sent me about your [[Yugioh]] deck cause John has more knowledge about it then ''[sic]'' me. John helped me with all my yugioh stuff!

Ok, moving from that "depressing" subject! I think I see the [[music]] problem! When you download, are all the bands separated by genre? If so then Stryper and Holy Soldier are more then ''[sic]'' likely located in the Christian section. (no pun intended-as I rudely burst out laughing! forgive me!) 
Yes Stryper is a "[[Chris_and_religion|religious]]" band but I don't think they are extreme. You know how they say people change depending on the music they hear. Sure that's probably true for all the hoods that listen to that [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|stupid loud violent rap]]. But I've had Stryper for several years and it hadn't turned me into a nun! 
As for Holy Soldier, they were probably put there just because of their name. I don't think their music is as Christ-ly as Stryper. Holy Soldier is however positive and anti-negative. For example one song explains "[[6_June_2010|drink and drive is suicide]]." 
Either way I think you'll like them. Which of the songs I reccomended ''[sic]'' did you like the most or least?

I love your mario [[Video_games|game]]- so does John! But I love playing the mini games better then ''[sic]'' the real game! Not to brag but I've beaten some of your high scores!! My favorite games are: 
The game where you find either Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi's face. 
Matching the Wiggler pattern! I love Wigglers!!! They are soooo oogy-woogy! Plus that baby music they play emphasizes that!

''[Part of the mail is missing]''}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo ''[sic]'' with [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arms]]?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a molester===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent [[Stress|a lot of unnesessary energy and time]] thinking about this person and [[Love Quest|trying to spend time with this person]]. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, [[Heart Level|I was bluntly refused]]. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. [[20 December 2009|I absolutely HATE how people treat them]] and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
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Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
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Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Christmas

2023-12-29T19:18:45Z

Har0 Har0: fixed dates and wording in Christmas 2004 segment

{{Quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore. 
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore. 
She should be 18-22. 
And she ought to be [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]] too.|Chris, 2004 ("[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]")}}

[[Image:MerryCWCmas.jpg|right|thumb|Merry C-Mas to all the [[troll]]s, [[JERKS]], [[homos]], [[niggos]] and [[jerkop]]s out there!]]
[[File:HollyOCChristmas.jpg|right|thumb|Every Christmas is an [[OC]] Christmas.]]

'''Christmas''' or, as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] once [[CWC-isms|called it]], '''C-Mas''',<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref> is one of our hero's favorite holidays. He [[Jail Saga|almost always]] celebrates it at [[14 Branchland Court|home]] with his family, and often mentions it in his comics and videos.

==Christmas in the Chandler family==
[[Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|right|thumb|Bob and li'l Chris remembering Jesus.]]
{{quote|We celebrate like normal; a decorated tree, get-together, remembering [[Jesus]] and all.|ChrisChanSonichu, [[Mailbag 2#Holidays with the Chandlers|Mailbag #2]].}}

Barbara's extended family holds (or at least used to hold) Christmas gatherings, probably in Red Oak or the Richmond area. The Chandlers used to attend these, but they stopped doing so at some point, possibly after the death of [[Aunt Corrina]] in 2009. [[Cole Smithey]] used to attend these gatherings as well but apparently stopped sometime after 2004. As of 2007, he would spend the holidays with his wife's family in California.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

As such, Chris normally spends Christmas with just [[Barbara]] and (before his passing) [[Bob]].

As evidenced by videos like [[100 2281]] and [[Tour of Chris's House]], the Chandlers keep a Christmas tree and decorations in their [[kitchen]] year-round because they are too lazy to take it down.

[[File:CWCmasStockings.jpg|right|thumb|The stockings were hung from the chimney with care.]]

{{Incomplete}}

==Santa Clause==
[[Image:ChrisSanta.jpg|right|thumb|Chris wishes he were as much of a man as Mr. "Clause" is.]]
[[File:Pickle tree.jpg|thumb|A must for the discerning troll.]]

{{quote|[2008-12-15 07::03:20] EXKeine: Christmas is coming up, so... do you believe in Santa Claus? [2008-12-15 07::03:40] ChrisChanSonichu: yep.|Chris on Santa Clause [sic], [[IRC (15 December 2008)]].}}
{{quote|It’s been over a week since my [[PVCC|SUSPENSION]]; I am [[Stress|DEPRESSED]], [[Love Quest|LONELY]], SAD and BORED! I have [[Attraction Location|nowhere to go]] to attract a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free woman]]. I’ll be writing to Santa Clause [sic] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(|[[CWC's Diary]] for September 26, 2004, Chris acting like the 22-year-old grown-up man he is.}}
{{quote|Or for— since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister— yo' Misses Claus. I have a...good ole heat, 'cuz I took...a bit o'...[[Chris and sex|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, ho-OH!|Chris RPing as The Man, [[iPods Down and Listen Up]].}}
{{quote|I did not say that I was taking Viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that.|Chris, [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag #20]], on Kris Kringle's erectile dysfunction.}}

"Santa Clause" [[Chris and English|[sic]]] (not to be confused with [[wikipedia:The Santa Clause|the Tim Allen movie that uses this spelling]]) is a legendary character associated with Christmas, whom many Western children believe in.
According to surveys, most of these same children stop believing in Santa around the age of eight, often when they find out it was actually [[Borb|their parents]] playing the role of Jolly St. Nick. However, Chris claims that [[Chris and reality|he still believes]] in "Santa Clause" [sic], despite being over 40. He even put Santa's name on his [[JERKS#The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate]], which may imply that he: a) believes "Santa Clause" [sic] is real, b) believes Santa is a manly male man capable of landing himself a girlfriend (see also the [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag quote]] above). Also worth of note is the fact that Chris chose to put Santa's name on the list before [[God]] and [[Jesus]]...because, come on, these two [[JERKS]] never brought him even the tiniest presents!

Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean that Chris actually ''does'' believe in Santa. Chris probably maintains this line because he ''wants'' to believe it and maintain memories of the happy Christmases of his childhood. For Chris, who still plays with da [[Lego]]s, professing a belief in Santa is "cute" and shows that he is "young at heart", one of his favorite traits.

In a 2010 [[Jackie e-mails Part 1|e-mail exchange]] with a woman, Chris stated that he [[Honor roll|learned]] Santa wasn't real around age fifteen or sixteen, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

However, in a September 2018 tweet, Chris indicated that he maintained a belief in Santa<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180906181412/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1036680791802167297</ref>. Chris was 36 years old when he made the comment.

{{quotebox|Santa Clause has always been real; you just need to always keep an open mind and an open heart. Never close yourself off, because anything is possible.}}

Chris almost certainly maintains this belief as he has slid further and further into his delusions about [[Dimensional Merge|alternate]] [[dimensions]] and that all [[OC|fictional characters]] are real.

==Presents Chris gives, wishes for, and receives==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '95]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '96]]
{{quote|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is [[Obesity|a good suggestion]].|[[Mailbag 6#For the man who has everything|Mailbag #6]], on what he planned to give his parents for Christmas, 2009.}}

==Christmas-related songs and merch==
Chris also got the name of his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]] from singing a 1950's Christmas song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, which actually [[Autism|says a lot about him]].

He also seems to have an affinity for the song "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]", as he raged like an idiot because the word [[homos|gay]] should only be used in context of "happy", as in the song.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

==Other confessions==
Being the totally sensitive and tolerant person he is, Chris in his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Christmas special (the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|text]] and [[Sonichu 11|comic]] versions) mentions the ways [[CWCville]] citizens of different faiths (that is, "Jewish folk", Buddhists, possibly [[Niggos|black people]], and "a few humbuggers") celebrate their own wacky versions of Christmas. In 2019, he referred to the holiday season as ''ChristmaHannuaKwanzaka''.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

===Hanukkah/Chanukkah===
{{quote|Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera.|''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]'', Act I}}

"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Haunaka]]"/"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Chaunaka]]"/"[[Holiday Greetings|Konica]]"/"[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|Chanukkah]]"/whatever, is a holiday [[CWCville]] "Jewish folk" celebrate while most other citizens celebrate Christmas. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" [sic] Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah, called a "Hanukkiah", has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. This is another small example of Chris's naivety as a cookie of any shape would have likely been appreciated. That Cerah couldn't choose a more obvious Hanukkah symbol (such as a Menorah or a dreidel) over a ''generic candle'' shows that Cerah has extremely poor knowledge of even the most basic of Jewish traditions known in the Gentile world.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating ''fried'' foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you - he just wanted to make sure that the cookie was hypoallergenic.

In [[IRC (22 December 2008)]] Chris listed "Haunaka" and "Chaunaka" as two different holidays, probably belonging to different religions. In his [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]], he does nearly the same thing, saying "happy Hanukkah, Chanukkah, all the other holidays to everybody of other religions".

===Jolly Buddah [sic]===
{{quote|Christmas Trees are abound most everywhere: in the homes of the townfolk, [[CWCville Mall|in the stores]], [[CWCville Mayoral Office|in the offices]], and the biggest one in the center of [[McIntire Park|CWC-Central Park]]. Some have Menorah Candles, or even a Jolly Buddah [sic].|[[Sonichu 11|A Sonichu Christmas]] (the comic version)}}
{{quote|All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]] (the text version)}}

From what we know, Buddhism is one of the religions Chris tolerates, and so he sometimes mentions it as a display of his "religious sensitivity". However, he probably doesn't know jack shit about Buddhism, and assumes that since Buddhists are all "good-hearted believers", they undoubtedly should celebrate Christmas in some way! So, in [[CWCville]], Buddhists celebrate their Buddhist Christmas by going to their Buddhist churches on starting December 12, and having a "Jolly Buddah" instead of a Christmas Tree.

By coincidence, Christmas is actually a popular holiday in some primarily Buddhist countries (such as [[anime|Japan]]). However, it's rare for celebrators to give the time special religious significance specific to their religion. Similar to how Halloween is celebrated in America based solely on the customs with practically no emphasis on the religious practices that started the holiday, so too do many Buddhists enjoy Christmas just as an excuse to put up lights, give each other gifts and participate in the same customs other people enjoy.

===Kwanzaa/Kawanza [sic]===
[[File:Son11p21.jpg|thumb|300px|Suffice to say, Blake is not a fan of Kwanzaa. Or black people, for that matter.]]

Little is known of what Chris thinks about [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|"Kawanza"]] [sic] and the related rituals, except that he [[IRC (22 December 2008)|once]] congratulated his [[trolls]] with this holiday (among others), misspelling its name in the process.

In ''[[Sonichu #11]]'', [[Inos]] passes [[Blake]] on the street and wishes him a happy Kwanzaa (spelled correctly this time), causing Blake to go into a [[Chris and race|vaguely racist rant]] over being mistaken for [[Niggos|black]].

===Other faiths===

Chris doesn't say (or care, probably), what Muslims, Orthodox Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Baha'is or Atheists do in CWCville on Christmas Day. Probably they're the "few humbuggers" whom Chris derides for not celebrating C-mas/Haunaka/Kawanza/whatever those wacky Buddhists celebrate.

==Notable Christmases in Chris's life==
===1992===
[[Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|GodBear, directing his Chorus of AngelBears]]

While visiting Richmond during the Christmas season of 1992 (Chris believes it was [[1989]]), Chris got probably the most dumbfounding present of his whole life, and from [[Christopher's name change|GodBear]] himself, no less. Strolling with his father through the Regency Square Mall, Christopher, as he was called at the time, encountered a band of bears playing some Christmas songs. Chris talked to the conductor, and being half-deaf from the cacophonous music they played, the man operating the bear mistakenly named him "Christian".

From that point on, Chris insisted his name was Christian, not Christopher, and a few months later [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|got his name legally changed to "Christian"]].

===2003===
A comment made by Chris in a [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 2|video he shot on Christmas Day of 2004]] indicate that he met [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] on the Christmas Day of last year.

===[[2004]]===
{{quote|[[Stress sigh|[Chris sighs] ]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler — by the way, you can [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|call my Chris]] in public—and... thank you.|Emo Chris, [[So Need a Cute Girl]].}}
{{quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh. I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.|Chris, the poetic [[geinus]].}}

[[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|This Christmas]], Chris expected to get: a) a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] from "Santa Clause" [sic], and b) an [[Chris and remorse|apology]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Not surprisingly, he didn't get either, and became [[Chris and stress|depressed]]. He recorded [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|a whiny video]] about [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]].

Chris filmed himself making his father choose between a DVD or VHS copy of ''Fraggle Rock'', and giving his mother a snowglobe ([[Chris and his ego|with a picture of him in it]]) and a ''Hamtaro'' toy.

Earlier in December, he dedicated two different songs to the first of these two wishes: [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] (written on December 4th) and [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] (recorded on December 20th). In the same video, Chris also sang a live rendition of the famous [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which was dedicated to the same thing.

If "Santa Clause" [sic] really exists, this proves that he's a major [[JERKS|JERK]], or that he doesn't tie up girls and leave them under trees as gifts for horny manchildren.

Barb's extended family held a Christmas party this year which Chris and his parents attended. This was the last time any of them saw [[Cole Smithey]] in person.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 27]]</ref><ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref>

===[[2005]]===
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas 2k5]]
{{quote|Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.|[[Megan]] on 20 December 2005, trying to be diplomatic with Chris.}}

Chris was probably [[stress]]ed as hell, because just a few days before his [[gal-pal]] and attempted [[sweetheart]] [[Megan Schroeder]] told him she doesn't like him [[Rape|trying to kiss her]], and that she [[Homo|doesn't want to have a boyfriend at all]]. Just to add insult to injury, "Santa Clause" [sic] brought him a shitty pirate ripoff instead of a genuine Lego set that year. No boyfriend-free girl under the tree this year either.

<center><gallery>
Image:077-StarOnTree.jpg
Image:078-StarFront.jpg
Image:079-StarBack.jpg
</gallery></center>

===[[2007]]===
[[Image:Fakeout-makeout2.jpg|right|thumb|Chris and Kimmi.]]

On December 26, Chris bought himself a [[sex doll]] called [[Kimmi]], who would become a rival to his long-time artificial heartsweet [[Officer Nasty]], on [[Adamandeve.com]]. Probably because "Santa Clause" [sic] didn't bring him one this year, either.

To compliment the sex doll, Chris also bought a "Vintage XXX Cartoons DVD/CD", and received "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and "Playboy Magazine Digital Edition DVD/CD" for free. The fact that Chris specifically sought something as bizarre as vintage porn cartoons to [[mass debating|fap]] his crooked [[duck]] to, for some reason, sits fine with all the other weird aspects of his twisted personality.

However, being unsatisfied with fantasizing about naked women drawn in the 1960s, Chris went to Adamandeve.com again soon after New Year's Day, and purchased some more XXX-rated holiday gifts for himself. These include: a "2008 Adam & Eve Calendar", a "[[Card games|Romance Roulette Card Game]]" (which Chris probably plays as [[Virgin with Rage|solitaire]]), and, the strangest one of the bunch, a "Carmen Boob Mousepad", whatever that is. He also got some free items as well, namely a "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and, most notably, the infamous "Anal Love Beads", which would become a popular theme for [[trolling]] Chris in the ensuing year.

===[[2008]]===
Chris got "a couple of [[DVD]]s, ''Bee Movie'' on Blu-Ray, [[Obesity|assorted chocolates]] and [[Bob Walks In|a calming family moment]]" ([[IRC (28 December 2008)]]); in Chris's words, it was "simple, nothing extravagant". Bob outdid himself with a gift to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] overshadowing Sonichu in over-the-top symbolism. "He gave her an arranged box of ornaments, with tags attached to them; each one representing her blessings; three angels, me, dad and my half-bro, Cole. Ones for [[Ruckersville]], Red Oak, [[Chandler Cats|our cats]], and one for her." (Chris, on [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]).

===[[2009]]===
Chris took the time to send [[Kill De Jack|warm wishes]] to a [[Jack Thaddeus|dear friend]]. He also received chocolate and [[video games]] from [[Mailbag 24|his family]].

===[[2010]]===
Not much is known of how Chris spent Christmas this year. All that we know for sure is that for this Christmas he asked for all websites he sees as defamatory against him, such as the CWCki and [[ED]], to disappear.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He bought a ton of games in [[January 2011]], so he probably got PSN vouchers.

===[[2011]]===
Due to [[28 October 2011|Chris' decision to trespass at The Game Place and Barb's decision to assault an officer]], Chris's Christmas in 2011 was spent amid court appearances and the fear of potentially going to jail. It was also Chris's first Christmas sans-Bob.

===[[2012]]===
It's not known what Chris did, but he uploaded Bob's jazz marathon a few days beforehand.

{{Quote|I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.
http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip
Merry Christmas.|[[Facebook]], 20 [[December 2012]]}}

On the 21st, he watched [[Wikipedia:2012 (film)|''2012'']] and thanked God and Jesus that the [[Wikipedia:2012 phenomenon|world didn't end]], which must have brightened up his Christmas.

A few days after Chris seemed miserable, saying ''"I am back to the same old feelings; lonely, depressed, etc. makes me almost wish the world had ended, so I wouldn't have to continue feeling the pain. I desperately require my true (future) Sweetheart-to-be AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN..."''<ref>[[2013 Imgur Leak]]</ref> Apparently again Santa didn't bring him a pretty girlfriend.

===[[2013]]===
Nothing but a few PS3 games. No Life Upgrade Upgrade, and still no sweetheart from the ground-up.

===[[2014]]===
Chris requested much-needed [[Lego]] sets, and even suggested "prank gifts" for [[trolls]] to send him. The day after Christmas, he went to a local [[GameStop]] to give an [[Yellow-Shirted Foe|employee]] a [[26 December 2014|special present]].

===[[2015]]===
In the build-up, Chris [[Seasons Greetings|suggested several gifts]], and sang "[[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]]".

===[[2016]]===
Chris hoped that [[Bob]] would enjoy Christmas in his [[Chris and death|new life]]. He also uploaded an enormous wishlist of toys and [[Transformers]] junk for fans to buy for him. He uploaded [[Sorbet likes to play with his little robot|a video]] of [[Sorbet]] playing with a robot on Christmas day.

===[[2017]]===
[[File:Sonichu 16 page-37.jpeg|thumb|right|200px|Christmas Day 2017, as portrayed in ''Sonichu'' #13.]]
Chris [[December 2017 tweets|tweeted]] ''"Just a simple Merry Christmas to Every Good Person. May your Wishes Be Answered Fully."'' According to page 33 of [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]], Chris kept busy on Christmas Day by reading the novel ''[[Nazis|The Man in the High Castle]]'' to appease the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' character Blanc (clearly one of the [[Idea Guys]] roleplaying as the CPU). Furthermore, Chris goes on to note that his communication with the CPU Vert was interrupted by ''Wolfenstein'' antagonist,
Wilhelm Strasse.

===[[2018]]===
On C-Mas 2018, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] was revealed to be behind the [[Dimensional Merge]], and they announced its delay until 2038 in our dimension. Chris still believes in it, and announced that he was "''opening presents with [[Magi-Chan]], [[Cryzel]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], [[Patti]] and our [[Raichu]], Fate. It was very lovely. 😊 The Dimension Merge is still in progress, within its final steps before the apex. The [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and soulful links and events I have been having are becoming more frequent, so I do know. And all of the other deities have been working very hard together, with me as part of the group, to make this happen.''"

===[[2019]]===
Chris posted on [[Twitter]] that his sinus infection was gone, and he posted a new drawing of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris gears up for BABSCon with TSSSF cards]]</ref>

===[[2020]]===
On December 10, Chris, [[possessed]] by [[Sonichu]], stated that he didn't want presents, just money via PayPal, adding ''"Yes, I Know what you haters are gonna say, “OOH! Christine’s asking for money again. Don’t give her any money; she’ll just spend it on Legos and vidya games. Bladdy, bladdy blah.” No, we could use some money to keep the bank accounts better afloat this time around. Okay?"'' He also described an audio recording of a conversation between him and Magi-Chan as "an impromptu Christmas gift for all of you."<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts#Chris begs for money]]</ref>

On Christmas day itself, he wished everyone a Merry Christmas [[Chris and language|in multiple languages]]<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts#Merry Christmas]]</ref> and claimed that an eighth [[Sonichu Ball]] had manifested itself at his house.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts#Seven Crystal Balls]]</ref>

This would become Chris's last Christmas celebrated at his former home in [[14 Branchland Court]].

===[[2021]]===
[[File:JailLetter13Dec2021Drawing.png|thumb|Chris's God complex on full show]]

Chris spent Christmas in his cell at [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]], awaiting trial for [[Affair with Mother|incest]] with his mother. On Christmas Eve, he [[Jail Call - 24 December 2021|spoke with Cory Allison]] on the phone.

===[[2022]]===
Chris presumably spent Christmas in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail|jail]] again, although this isn't certain due to his court case being [[:File:HeilbergStatement.png|sealed]].

===[[2023]]===
[[File:X - Christmas tree 22Dec2023.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A Christmas tree set up at Chris's home.]]
2023 marks the first Christmas Chris has celebrated outside of jail.
{{clear}}

==Fan video==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Santa's Love Quest: A Chris Chan Musical Adventure !
| ytid = 3uTYy9iLoaw
| stardate = 23 [[December 2021]]
| maker = SheWIND
| subject = Christmas, [[Love Quest]]
| type =
| info =
}}
==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*"[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
*"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]"
*[[Holiday Greetings]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]"
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]
*[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|A Very ''Asperchu'' Christmas]]
*[[Halloween]]
*[[Angelica Rosechu's Christmas Play]]
==References==
<references />

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

Praetor

2023-11-22T08:12:53Z

Har0 Har0: fixed some gramatical errors and added in paragraph regarding the recent information about Chris living with Caden

{{Unreliable|type=cred|The members are all infamous attention seekers, and merely got in touch with Chris with the sole intent of piggybacking off his notoriety on the internet.|The members will occasionally say edgy and disgusting things purely for shock value.<ref>[[:File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg]]</ref>}}

[[File:PraetorLogo.jpg|400px|thumb|Praetor's logo]]
[[File:Cadenimagehighquality.png|300px|thumb|Caden Peck, leader of Praetor]]

'''Praetor LLC''' (sometimes referred to as "'''The Praetors'''") is a group of edgy college-aged businesspeople led by '''Caden Peck''' (born September 27, 2002), also known as '''tinyhorse01'''. They have claimed to exist for 3 years before coming in contact with Chris, working with creative types, supposedly including working in order to officiate the {{w|Republic of Molossia}} as an official nation. However, the truth of this is unknown, and the business is known to be incredibly unprofessional.

They came in contact with Chris to produce and sell ''Sonichu'' and CWC themed products on their [[Etsy]] store [[OfficialCWCmart]], with Chris's permission, giving him a cut of the profits in exchange. In mid-December 2020, Praetor began offering Sonichu medallions for sale, which were produced by the group and approved of by Chris. As of [[2023]], they have made around $150,000 out of OfficialCWCmart.

During the [[Jail Saga]], Chris continued communicating with them, mailing them art from jail, which they added to [[OfficialCWCmart]]. They began coming up with plans to help Chris, one of which included brainstorming a $150,000 fundraiser to buy out [[Barb]] from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Praetor has since expanded to other products, some produced by the group, and others by Chris. Chris's income split for products made by him is unknown. Upon Chris getting released from jail, they have become even more involved, as seen in the highly edited new videos and new photos of Chris added to [[OfficialCWCmart]].

==Members==
[[File:Praetor_Instagram_tags_copy-min.png|300px|thumb|From left to right, Annie Ikenberry, most likely Cabell, Caden Peck, and Christine Chandler. Not pictured are Owen Sundstrom and [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]]]
{{Quote|In the group, Annie is very much psychically able. Owen is like the magician of the group; among his skill set, he can also make a variety of special teas and such that can be like potions and elixirs. Cabell is also psychically inclined, but she's the artist. Caden is very open-minded, and the brains and business.|Chris<ref name=naughtdms>[[Naught DMs#Praetor]]</ref>}}

Whilst Caden leads the group, and presumably does most of the heavy lifting, there are numerous other members in the group.

===Annibelle Ikenberry===
'''Annibelle "Annie" Ikenberry''' ('''annirenee''') is an erocosplayer and OnlyFans camgirl. According to Chris, she is "psychically able". In a 17 [[February 2021]] discussion with the [[Watchmen]], Chris confessed that he had considered her for a possible relationship.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref>

===Owen Sundstrom===
'''Owen Scott Sundstrom''' ('''owen_sundstrom''') is a co-founder of Praetor, according to [[Larry Vaughn]]. He was present at the [[Goochland Library Sermon]], where he was photographed posing with Chris. He also appears to be the photographer who took the picture of Chris and Praetor at the Chinese restaurant. According to Chris, Owen is "like the magician of the group; among his skill set, he can also make a variety of special teas and such that can be like potions and elixirs". Owen, along with Caden, suggested a link between the Mayan calendar and Chris's [[The Place chats - Lore Mashup|dream about a golden disc]].<ref name=naughtdms></ref>

===Cabell===
'''Cabell''', according to Chris is 'psychically inclined, but she's the artist'. Unlike the other members of Praetor, the least is known about her. There has been speculation that Cabell was a nickname for [[Bella]], however at the time of Chris mentioning Cabell he had not met Bella. Cabell is most likely the blonde woman featured in the picture of Praetor at a Chinese restaurant. Initially, Praetor mistagged the blonde woman on [[Instagram]], linking a completely separate account to her.

Given that Chris has referred to Cabell as the artist, it can be assumed that she creates the medallions, as Chris has mentioned that the artist of the group was the one to create them.

===Isabella Loretta Janke===
{{main|Isabella Loretta Janke}}

'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke''', a troll most infamous for her horrid actions and [[Incest Call|revealing Chris's incestuous affair with his mother]], had relations with Praetor. They commissioned her to animate [[Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation]], an animation of Chris and the Sonichu characters, which Chris uploaded to his YouTube channel.

==The Beginning==
[[File:OGGoldenMedallion.jpg|300px|thumb|The golden medallion Praetor gave to Chris]]
[[File:Praetor3.jpg|300px|thumb|Chris in a meeting with Caden]]
{{quote|I've always known about Christine. She always struck me as unique in the sense that she is probably one of the most famous people ever who has profited the least from her fame.
When I heard that she had tried to launch a store before, but been overwhelmed, I knew that there was a chance at profit. I run almost everything I do privately, so I reached out to Christine myself.|Caden<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The_Place_Chats#Praetor_Arrives,_Chris_Writes_his_Sermon,_More_Bible Discussion|Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref>}}

On 21 [[September 2020]], a "trio of fans" came to Chris's door with a golden [[Medallion|Sonichu medallion,]] crafted by "the young lady of the group, with paint that had a mixture of 24K gold in it". The "tall boys" had a business proposition for Chris, that with their mold press, they could mass produce and sell Sonichu medallions.<ref name=placeassociates>[[User:Anaxis/The_Place_Chats#The "New Associates" (and Helena Hate)|The "New Associates" (and Helena Hate)]]</ref> Chris accepted, deeming them as trustworthy, and noted that he had a vision earlier where an artist crafted medallions for him.

{{quote|They have their business based in Goochland.

And I could tell by soul-reading them that their intentions were legit, honest and true.|Chris<ref name=placeassociates></ref>}}

On 22 [[September 2020]], Chris made a post on [[The Place]] [[Discord]] server, where he mentioned that he was meeting with some "new associates".<ref name=placeassociates></ref> He mentions that they were going to talk about "the molding to mass produce the medallions, and possibly the figures, with optional Amiibo functions, in a little while." After being asked who these associates were, Chris refused to give their identities but gave details about their first interaction.

On the 25th, Chris mentioned them to the [[Watchmen]] again, revealing their name as Praetor LLC.

{{quote|Our new peeps are good and genuine; they’re setting up the new Etsy shop as well, and making the first wave of medallions molded from the one they made for me that was 24K gold-mix painted.
Although, Confidentially, while they do have their business connections, they do not yet have a website; I did a Google search for their name of “Praetor LLC”. But everything remains valid, and they do check in with me and talk, plus soul-sense from the lot of them.|Chris<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The_Place_Chats#Patreon_Troubles,_Chris's_Online_Social_Life,_%22The_Boys,%22_Praetor_LLC_Revealed|Patreon Troubles, Chris's Online Social Life, The Boys, Praetor LLC Revealed]]</ref>}}

On 3 October, Chris mentioned to them that Praetor was helping him create a "lore bible".<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The_Place_Chats#Lore_Bible_Discussion|Lore Bible Discussion]]</ref>

On the 15th, Praetor's [[Discord]] account, run by Caden Peck, joined the [[The Place]] Discord server, and answered the Watchmen's questions.<ref>[[User:Anaxis/The_Place_Chats#Praetor_Arrives,_Chris_Writes_his_Sermon,_More_Bible Discussion|Praetor Arrives, Chris Writes his Sermon, More Bible Discussion]]</ref>

{{collapsible|Chat Excerpts|{{quoteboxnavy|We'll initially be only selling Medallions. These act as a trial run, testing market interest. Along the way, we will add more products. These will include but not be limited to comics, cards, and possibly amino figurines.}}
{{quoteboxnavy|It costs about 3 dollars per medallion. We sell them for 25 apiece, as to match our competitors. Etsy brand imposters are selling Medallions for 25-30. To uproot them, we must match or go below their prices.

If business is good, we'll increase sales by discounting them, selling them for 15-20}}
{{quoteboxnavy|In order to emulate Sonichu's original medallion, they are stamped in a mold we made and baked. Then, painted. We mail them from our own company pocket for a while, as it is cheaper then registration with a mailing company. When we get big enough, we can afford to register and get discounted shipping services}}
{{quoteboxnavy|We've not shipped any yet, so we only have estimates. It won't be more then a few dollars.
The medallions are not large not heavy.}}
{{quoteboxnavy|We signed a confidentiality agreement with Sonichu, as we are a company. If Sonichu gives her consent, I can disclose profit splits and profit estimates.}}
{{quoteboxnavy| We've worked with creative types for about 3 years now. You may recognize a few of my more eccentric clients!
Have any of you ever heard of Molossia?}}

After being asked if they sold merch for Molossia:

{{quoteboxnavy|We don't only do merch. We helped him find someone to write a dissertation on the micronation's sovereignty.

He's using that to try and officiate his territory as a nation.

More power to him, I suppose.

What do y'all do? I'm excited to be working with this team.}}
{{quoteboxnavy|I used to have a website, but due to domain costs I took it down. When it comes to clients, I find that it's easier to find eccentric people then to have them find you. If you're interested in partnership or a meeting, I've been transitioning us to social media. We have a new twitter and an Instagram.
Our email is llcpraetor@gmail.com.}}
{{quoteboxnavy|@praetor_llc and the Twitter is @praetor
With social media, I can find my own clientele. Considering that I'm here, seems like things are working out!}}

On another brand named 'Praetor LLC':

{{quoteboxnavy|Oh no, we know about Praetor LLC. They're actually not trademarked, we've talked to them. Their site is a homedone project. The only internationally trademarked Praetor brand is Praetor Technologies.}}
}}

On 16 October, they arranged for Chris to give [[Goochland Library Sermon|a sermon at Goochland library]], where he spewed his [[Dimensional Merge]] delusions. This spiel was done in front of a large screen displaying the Praetor logo. When it was eventually released on YouTube, it started with a loud dramatic opening, commissioned from an unknown source. They also added sarcastic captions, mocking Chris. The Praetor members took photos with Chris after the sermon.

<center><gallery>
File:Tinyhorse02.png|With Caden.
File:Praetor4.jpg|With Owen.
File:Praetor5.jpg|Arguably one of the most iconic images of Chris out there, appearing on news articles and on his Wikitubia page</gallery></center>

On 19 October, Praetor's presence was made known to the public, when they released multiple photos of Chris and the members of Praetor at a Chinese restaurant. One of these images included the members' Instagram handles, making it very easy for them to get doxxed.

<center><gallery>
File:PraetorLLC.jpg|
File:Praetor Instagram tags copy-min.png|With [[Instagram]] handles
</gallery></center>

On 13 [[November 2020]], Chris uploaded [[Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation]], an animation that Praetor had commissioned from [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. After this, Bella began regularly chatting with Chris, [[Incest Call|eventually becoming rather infamous for unrelated reasons]].

==Etsy Shop==
{{see also|OfficialCWCmart}}
{{quote|(Editor's Note: All descriptions, titles, and product designs come directly from Chris Chan. These are hand done, and will therefore reflect the "Chris Chan Style." Expect defects, burns, and a general lapse in quality.)|Praetor's Etsy account, confirming that the products being shipped will be dogshit, even by Chris's standards}}
[[File:Sonichu medallion etsy dec 2020.jpg|300px|thumb|Praetor somehow manages to make the medallion look ''worse'']]

Praetor created an Etsy shop for Chris, [[OfficialCWCmart]], where they sell Sonichu medallions and other merchandise. As of 2023, it has accumulated more than 3000 sales. The medallions sold by them manage to look much worse than any medallions made by Chris, and are completely inconsistent in how they look.

In mid-December 2020, Praetor began offering Sonichu medallions for sale, which were produced by the group and approved of by Chris. A month later, they had made $5,900 worth of sales on their medallion product,<ref>[[The Place chats (January 2021)#The Watchmen Think Chris Should Get All of Praetor's Sales Money]]</ref> though information such as their operating costs is unknown, as is how much profit the group members had after expenses. In mid-January 2021, Chris confirmed having received nearly $400 in small cash amounts for his share.<ref>[[The Place chats (January 2021)#Cash from Praetor]]</ref>

[[File:RedRobe.jpg|300px|thumb|Golden Church of Sonichu Cult Robe, sold an year after the server died out]]

Praetor also created a [[Discord]] server, [[Golden Church of Sonichu]], which was created for anyone who bought their Golden Medallions on their Etsy shop. The server served as another outlet for Chris to rant about his delusions. Caden often posted in there too, giving insight into Praetor's bizarre plans.

{{quote|-Christine has fully greenlit [REDACTED]'s video game. Please message Chris directly as soon as possible, as Christine would like to provide some direction with the game's storyline.

-The Praetor Flamethrower will be stress-tested this upcoming week at a local firing range sponsoring us. Please standby for future details.

-Christine has approved the future sale of Potions blessed by her. These are to be sold for less than $17 apiece, but a fixed price has not yet been decided. We need help finding cheaply shipped glassware in bulk. As cheap as possible is best, as we are going to be selling 3-4 kinds of potions stocked at at least 12 each. Bottles must be at very least 4oz, at most 16oz.

-Christine's Golden Medallions have already sold out. Expect more members soon.

-Test footage for [REDACTED] has been filmed in order to see if she can cgi a Sonichu next to Chris, allowing us to feature a Sonichu in the upcoming Chris Chan Movie. Please complete this as soon as possible, and we will kiss you on the mouth.|Caden<ref>[[Golden Church of Sonichu]]</ref>}}

Upon hacking into [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]'s account, [[Chris Kisses Rosechu|a short clip]] showing the behind-the-scenes process of the Chris Chan Movie was leaked. It shows Chris posing as a Praetor member commentates, telling him specific poses to do, while he's supposedly standing next to [[Rosechu]], who would be added in post as a CGI character.

==Taser Controversy==
{{see also|Taser}}
[[File:PraetorSignedTaser.png|300px|thumb|The Taser]]

{{quote|we had a whole discussion about why it's a bad idea.|Caden, one of Praetor's members, trying to talk Chris out of tazing himself.<ref name=tasercall>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref>}}

On 15 [[November 2020]], Praetor posted a screenshot of an online shopping service's shopping cart - in the cart was a Pikachu mask and a VIPERTEK VTS-989 560 BV stun gun. Praetor stated:

{{quote|As Praetor, we always work hard to produce the best videos we can. Good works are in progress!|Praetor on an Instagram post featuring a Pikachu mask and stun gun.<ref>https://www.instagram.com/p/CHms9kGlhc3/ (archive: https://archive.ph/K6ojQ)</ref>}}

[[File:praetor cart.jpg|thumb|left|250px|The image featured in the instagram post]]

Praetor later claimed this was for promotion of sales of autographed tasers.

In [[February 2021]], Chris stated that he wanted to borrow one of Praetor's tasers to stun his [[Gate Crystal]] and [[Celestial Key]] [[quartz crystals]] in an attempt to activate the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref name=thinking>[[Thinking with Portals#Praetor and the Taser‎]]</ref>

The Watchmen confronted Caden Peck about this, saying that it was dangerous for Praetor to be allowing Chris to use it and that Chris could hurt himself. In response, Caden insisted that Chris would be safe and that the group would act with safety in mind, that he would not permanently possess one of their tasers, and that the version Chris would use is a lower-powered one than the items Praetor would be selling.<ref name=thinking></ref> Eventually, both parties began insulting each other on Discord. They eventually agreed to have [[Taser Discussion|a call]] about the issue, in which the Watchmen berate Caden about the issue.

Near the end of the call, [[Watchmen]] member [[Val]] jokingly asked if Praetor could get Chris to tase himself on video, to which Chris responded saying that he'd be willing too. Everyone is shocked by this, and Caden attempts to dissuade Chris from tazing himself.

[[Watchmen]] member [[Naught]] then released that portion of the audio clip, but twisted the context to make it seem like Praetor wanted Chris to tase himself. This rumor was perpetuated by other Watchmen members, and eventually reached [[GiBi]], who made a video claiming it was fact.

Naught then doxxed Caden on the forum, which led to [[Larry Vaughn]] making multiple posts sharing his experiences with Praetor. While many were skeptical of Vaughn's claims, due to him arguably being an unreliable narrator, his [[Larry Vaughn DMs|DMs with Chris]] reveal that he did in fact have a phone call with Caden, meaning his post is most likely true<ref>[[Larry Vaughn DMs#Coded Message for Twitter Users]]</ref>.

{{collapsible|Larry Vaughn's Posts|
{{quote|Still hard to believe that [Caden Peck] legit thought that I was the representative of a group of rich folks that would buy shitty medallions so we could roleplay with Chris in a private Discord server.|Larry Vaughn<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Larry Vaughn)#Info Dump]]</ref>}}
{{quote|So my initial contact with them was when Christine sent me Caden's phone number and asked me to call him. I initially thought that he was going to tell me to fuck off, but he at the time at least entertained the idea of bringing 'us' (LAnon) on board. He pitched the idea of 'golden sonichu medallions' to me, which were basically regular Sonichu medallions with a code or something on them that would grant people access to a discord group to talk with Chris directly. He said that Christine "was a very busy woman with everything going on, and that Praetor basically served to screen out trolls from legitimate business dealings so she could have time to focus on her tasks." I said that I would entertain their offer, and I would just need to take a headcount of who would be interested in one.

[...]

-Praetor was the brainchild of Caden, and was initially just like the Teen Troon Squad before they had the idea to make a cult around Christine, and eventually even this devolved into them basically becoming a slightly less shitty version of the idea guys 2.0

-They work in a nasty basement painting Sonichu medallions to sell. Now people seem to think that they just give Chris the money. They don't, they basically hold it from him unless he does what they want

-The amount of money they make is apparently enough that Christine could have hired a private investigator to come after me, and this person contacted me after Chris threatened to call the cops on me

-My 'big plan' (Sending Chris to Florida) was apparently liked by Caden, to the point that he would pay for a ticket for Chris

-Chris claimed that Null was on Praetor's side, and was working with them to hunt me down (whether this is real or a delusion of Chris' is yet to be determined)|Larry Vaughn<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Larry Vaughn)#Info Dump]]</ref>}}
{{quote|To be honest Praetor just wants to further enable Chris at this point because doing so makes them money. Like they thought that I put mushrooms in the wine to poison Chris, they thought that they could get money from me, and they also thought that I was like 30 people.|Larry Vaughn<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Larry Vaughn)#Praetor]]</ref>}}
}}

[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|300px|A message left for a customer who bought a taser]]

In [[2022]], Praetor began selling tasers previously autographed by Chris on their Etsy shop, supposedly for the purpose of simulating "zapping to the extreme" for buyers. Etsy quickly removed this listing. Eventually, Praetor created a listing titled 'The Secret Listing', a listing that had no information on what it was. It was later revealed through [[March 2023 Praetor Interview|emails]] that The Secret Listing was a taser, with the fact hidden in order to bypass Etsy guidelines.

One of the people who bought the taser would mail it to the channel SuperMega, where they would unbox it on video<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW5OaHIfMdY&ab_channel=SuperMega</ref>.

==Jail Saga==
{{see also|Praetor Jail Art|OfficialCWCmart#Jail Saga Items}}

Caden had plans to assemble a posse to protect Chris from [[Jacob Sockness]] at [[Everfree Northwest]]<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sockness alert]]</ref>, and to buy Chris a PC so he could do more streams<ref>[[The_Knights_of_CWC_chats_(July_2021)#The_"Older_Lady_Friend"_Call_(Second_Layer_commentary)|Older Lady Friend Call]]</ref>, however both of these plans were cut short by Chris's [[Incest Arrest|arrest]] after he [[Affair With Mother|fucked his mother]]. After Chris got kicked out of his house for this, he contacted Caden to try and get his assistance in finding a hotel, though it is unknown how Caden responded to this<ref>[[WCT DMs#Asking about Incest Call leak]]</ref>.

While most cut ties with Chris after this, Praetor continued to talk to Chris. At one point, Chris mentioned that Caden was working on publishing the "Goddess Log", his jail diary<ref>[[Jail Call - 1 November 2021]]</ref>.

In [[May 2022]], Praetor began selling [[Praetor Jail Art|art that Chris made in jail]], making their contact with Chris much more obvious. They also added [[Jail Medallion Promotions|audio clips]] of Chris promoting their medallions from jail to their Etsy. Aside from these, the products sold on [[OfficialCWCmart]] became increasingly strange, including arrowheads, cult robes, and signed g-fuel.

In [[June 2022]], Chris started mentioning Caden in his letters, expressing his desire to have [[Helena Fiorenza]] collaborate with him<ref>[[Jail Letter - 25 June 2022]]</ref>, though Caden did not respond when Helena attempted to do so<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022]]</ref>. Chris also generally praised him, stating:

{{quote|Caden (Praetor) is genuinely one who is able to speak on my behalf when appropriate, and is in friendship and business association with I in mutual agreements; Include Him on the Fan Project Website, period, please.|Chris<ref>[[Jail Letter - 14 July 2022]]</ref>}}
{{quote|He's not flawless, but he is more Perfect of himself and at what and how he does as a legit Friend and in working on my behalf; He actually works well with his flaws and limits|Chris<ref>[[Jail Letter - 22 July 2022 (1)|Jail Letter - 22 July 2022]]</ref>}}
In [[July 2022]], Chris began writing in letters about his newfound hatred of [[Barb]]. He told Caden to check if Barb was still at [[14 Branchland Court]], which he did. Caden told Chris that she was still there and refused to leave, after which Chris instructed Caden to call the police on her.

{{quote|By Caden’s confirmation, Barbara was still at the Sonichu Temple; Redneck and Stubborn. So, giving him the list of her charable crimes, including pet negigance/mistreatment, suicide threats, emotional manipulation and abuse upon I, and ADA’s law of using someone else’s SSI, I have instructed Caden alone, to call the police on her.|Chris<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 July 2022]]</ref>.}}

The two decided on starting a $150,000 fundraiser to pay off Chris's mortgages and debts, and to put Barb in an Elderly Care Home, with the help of [[Kenneth Engelhardt]] and [[Helena Fiorenza]]<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022]]</ref><ref>[[Jail Letter - 22 July 2022 (1)]]</ref>. This fundraiser predictably failed, and ended with [[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt]], [[Helena Fiorenza]] and [[Eels and the Egg-man]] cutting ties with Chris<ref>[[Excommunication letter]]</ref>.

===Interview===
{{main|March 2023 Praetor Interview}}
In [[March 2023]], Praetor had [[March 2023 Praetor Interview|an interview]] with a [[Kiwi Farms]] user. In this interview, they claim that Chris calls them twice about the Etsy store. They also claim that the store has earned Chris a lot of money, despite him still being in jail.

{{quote|Chris calls twice a week to deal with the store, as no listings are made with out his express oversight. As for the cease and desists, we'd just advise that folk stay out of any trouble. Chris's cash has been accumulating, as the money he gets from both the store and monthly disability hasn't been touched while incarcerated.}}

They claim that the reason Chris hasn't sent any letters or had any visitors is because [[David Heilberg]], Chris's lawyer, advised them to not let any "ill-meaning folk" near Chris.

{{quote|Both the lack of recent letters and having no visitors is intentional, as Heilberg advised us to close any way for ill-meaning folk to get close.}}

They offer more insider knowledge on Chris, such as the fact that he has grown a beard in prison, and that he has plans to return, with strange aspirations as well. None of these claims have been confirmed true, so it's ideal to take them with a grain of salt, however, Chris did [[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned|in fact return]], as foretold by Praetor.

==The Second Coming==
{{see also|OfficialCWCmart#Post-Jail Saga Items}}
[[File:Cwc-oct2023praetor2.jpg|350px|thumb|A post-jail image of Chris on [[OfficialCWCmart]], showcasing him with a Praetor medallion]]
After plenty of sightings online and [[Post-jail sightings|offline]], Chris finally made his grand return in [[October 2023]]. Along with Chris's return, [[OfficialCWCmart]] returned as well, stocked with a plethora of new items. This included new [[Medallions|Sonichu medallions]], with brand new pictures of Chris in front of a green screen, new promotions of [[Neo Spiritual Christianity]], and [[2021 Lost Commissions|dozens upon dozens of lost commissions]] that Chris drew for the [[Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser in [[2021]]

Chris's new videos from this point forward were incredibly high quality (for Chris's standards), best seen in [[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]], in which Chris not only sings in front of a green screen, but numerous green screened versions of him dance in front of the screen as well. The trend of high-quality videos continued after this, with all of them containing Chris in front of a green screen.

It is very likely that Praetor is behind these videos, as they have previous experience with high-quality editing and Chris uses the same green screen which is used in the Etsy store. Chris also consistently promotes [[OfficialCWCmart]] in the description of these videos. These suspicions are once again validated in [[The Return of Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime]], in which Chris turns off the stream in order to respond to a phone call from Caden Peck.

In late November 2023, users on Kiwi Farms managed to gather enough evidence that hinted towards the fact that Chris is currently living with Caden. It is highly likely that he has been sheltering Chris ever since his charges were cleared but nothing is confirmed yet.

==External links==
*[https://www.instagram.com/praetor_llc Praetor's Instagram (deleted)]
*[https://twitter.com/_Praetor_ Praetor's Twitter]
*[https://www.etsy.com/shop/OfficialCWCmart Praetor's Etsy]

{{References}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{PraetorSaga}}
{{PrisonSaga}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{BusinessList}}

Lost Media

2023-03-17T19:55:17Z

Har0 Har0: edited out some repitition in the early parts of the page

{{Honest}}

'''Lost media''' refers to media that once existed but has been lost or destroyed or media that has never been released publicly.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_media</ref> This article aims to document the following kinds of lost media:

* Media made by or featuring Chris which was once publicly available on the internet but has since disappeared.
* Media made by or featuring Chris which is known to exist but which has never been released to the public.
* Media made by trolls that Chris has responded to or acknowledged.
* [[Relics of Fail]] whose current whereabouts are unknown or were destroyed (excluding those which Chris is known to have sold to fans).

Because of the broad scope of the article, it is unlikely to ever be complete. Of course, some lost media is of greater interest to Christorians than other lost media.

==Pre-trolling Lost Media==
===Autism papers===
{{See also|Autism papers}}

The [[Autism papers]] were a series of papers detailing the mental state of [[Chris]] and to what extent he has [[autism]]. Most of these papers appeared to have been destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]] as none of them have appeared since. Even if not destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], the hoard that is [[14 Branchland Court]] makes finding these papers next to impossible, making these papers almost certainly lost. However, one paper from [[2004]] survives as it was e-mailed to [[Kacey]] by [[Chris]] who passed it on to [[Liquid Chris]] who then distributed the paper online in [[November 2009]].

===Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) (Master Copy)===
{{See also|Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)}}

An extended edition of Chris's 2007 homemade DVD allegedly featuring over six hours of original content. Chris offered to share it with [[Regina e-mails|Regina]] in their emails. It is unknown if it survived the 2014 [[fire]].

===CWC's Pokésite 1===
{{See also|CWC's Pokésite 1}}

[[CWC's Pokésite 1]], originally known as CWC's Pokésite, was Chris's first website launched between the 25th of April and the 3rd of July 1999. Chris appears to have abandoned the site in late July as on the 22nd of July [[CWC's Pokésite 2]] was launched. The content of [[CWC's Pokésite 1]] is lost as the site is no longer up and the archive of the site only has three pages with the rest not working.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20000606031644/http://homes.acmecity.com/games/demo/190/GameShark.html</ref><ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20000606110946/http://homes.acmecity.com:80/games/demo/190/GameShark2.html</ref><ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20000606132641/http://homes.acmecity.com:80/games/demo/190/junglecards.html</ref> Also, the site guestbook is still available.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20001021022214/neptune.guestworld.lycos.com/wgb/wgbview.dbm?owner=Starytime</ref> A Spanish version of the site also existed however the site is down and it was never archived making this lost as well.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20010801000000*/http://games.acmecity.com/demo/190/Espanol.html</ref>

===Report cards===
{{See also|Honor roll}}

The report cards are a series of papers from Chris's education detailing his grades and academic progress. There has been no mention of these documents since the [[2014 house fire]], likely being destroyed and thereby lost. Even if not destroyed [[Chris]], claimed before the house fire in [[2009]] within [[Mailbag 19]] that he could not access the documents.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_19#We_cannot_see_Chris.27s_report_cards</ref> Considering how cluttered [[14 Branchland Court]] is and [[Chris]] not having access to the documents, to begin with, it is unlikely that the documents can be found, making them lost if they have not been destroyed. However, Chris's grades can be seen in the assignments that have survived in the [[Manchester High Leaks]], so Chris's grades are not entirely lost.

===Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes (items)===
{{See also|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

The [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] was a contest held in 1993 in which the person who wrote down every "Sonic Says" and sent it in would get the chance to win certain prizes with the biggest prize being a $1,000 shopping spree at {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}}.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMyI6ZnLj3o</ref> Chris won this contest in 1994 and got the $1,000 shopping spree however only five items are known to have been purchased being:

Batman Returns ($49.99).

Sonic CD (unknown price).

Sonic Spinball ($49.99).

"Star Trek" (probably Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echoes from the Past) (unknown price).

"Power Rangers Megazord" (unknwon price. Estimate $29.99).

It is unknown what other items Chris bought with the remaining $857.04 (not including the prices of Sonic CD and "Star Trek") and are thereby lost. Furthermore out of the five items listed, only one was still in Chris's possession being Sonic CD with the rest being destroyed or sold as revealed in a 21 June 2021 message on [[The Place]] Discord server.<ref>[[The Place chats (June 2021)#Warhol Book Stress and Hoarding]]</ref>

==Troll-related Lost Media==
===10242009 (Gregg Mays' video)===
{{See also|10242009}}

[[10242009]] was a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 24 [[October 2009]] in which he responds to [[Clyde Cash#Gregg_Mays|Gregg Mays]]. While this video is available, a video made by Gregg related to 10242009 was set to private. Gregg's video has not been found since and is considered to be lost.

===Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke (Mao's response)===
{{See also|Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke}}

[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]] was a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 17 [[January 2010]] in which he reads and reviews [[Asperchu]]. While this video is available, [[Mao]]'s response video released on the same day was made private. The video has not been found since then; Mao's response is currently considered to be lost.

===BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7 (full recording)===
{{See also|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7}}

A recorded PSN chat between Chris, [[Bob]], and "[[Julie]]" lasting approximately twenty minutes. The first nine minutes and eighteen seconds of the chat were preserved, but the recording abruptly ends while Bob is discussing his music collection. The lost portion of the call includes Bob talking about his health problems and [[Cherokee]] heritage, followed by goodbyes and then the trolls talking among themselves.

===CatKnight Interview 5===
{{See also|CatKnight Interview 5}}

On 28 March 2016, Sir [[Arthur Spatchcock]], also known as '''CatKnight''' and '''Master Disaster''', conducted an interview with Chris on lets-plays. The footage and audio of this interview have been lost though; the transcript is intact.

===Chris Chan calls Time-Life===
{{See also|Prank calls}}

This was a set of prank call videos from the now-defunct channel DavidMurdock4, using a soundboard of Chris-Chan to prank call a Time-Life call center, made in 2018-2019. The channel was closed in 2019 and none of its videos were archived.

===Chris Chan VS. The Internet===
{{See also|Chris Chan VS. The Internet}}

[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]] was a documentary made by Joseph Draft first announced on Kickstarter on 4 [[April 2019]]. The documentary includes interviews with Chris, [[Barbara]], and [[Megan Schroeder]] as well as candid footage of Chris going about his life. However, due to various factors,<ref>https://archive.ph/doV4x</ref> the documentary has not surfaced and allegedly the hard drive containing the documentary has been destroyed, making this documentary lost. However, the trailer and the opening are available.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGekFLTbeos</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6uEMpBxFu0</ref>

===Chris Sex Logs (Audio)===
{{See also|Chris Sex Logs}}

On 27 [[September 2008]] [[PandaHalo]] released a series of Skype chats in which Chris discussed with her a variety of subjects related to [[sex]]. While the transcript of the chats is available, the audio that accompanied the chats has been lost except for a 5:30-minute snippet.<ref>https://archive.org/details/cwcsexlogs1</ref>

===eBay Purchases and Listings (2001-2008)===
Chris has been using eBay since all the way back in [[2001]]. While this wiki has archived most of Chris's eBay listings (and purchases) from 2008 onward, the same can't be said for his previous ones prior to that year. There have been a few records of his purchases from that era, but not a whole lot, and especially nothing of his potential listings. Chris's bans and suspensions from eBay, as well as potentially using sockpuppets, also make archiving these difficult, so it's possible these bits of info are lost.

===Jackie's Father Call===
{{See also|Jackie}}

In an email sent from [[Jackie]] to [[Chris]] at 1:36 PM on 16 [[July 2011]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_30</ref>, [[Jackie]] revealed that the day before Jackie's father who was drunk at the time got into a call with [[Chris]]. It is unknown if the call was recorded, and even if it was, no audio nor transcript of the call has been released, making this call lost.

===Julie Reveals Herself (Video)===
{{See also|Julie Reveals Herself}}

[[Julie Reveals Herself]] is a [[Mumble]] chat between [[Bluespike]] and [[Chris]] on 3 [[March 2009]] which involves shoving the [[Sonichu Medallion]] up his rectum and [[Julie]] revealing herself to be a boy. While the audio of the chat exists, the video that accompanied it, which includes footage of Chris shoving the [[Sonichu Medallion]] up his rectum, is lost.

===My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey (Kacey's Part)===
{{See also|My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey}}

On 31 [[October 2009]] Chris made a video singing the male part of the lyrics to the song "A Whole New World", in response to [[Kacey]] uploading a video singing the female part of the same song. While Chris's video is available<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gv3znHKues</ref>, Kacey's video has been taken down by YouTube and is currently lost.

===No More Jokes (Clyde's response)===
{{See also|No More Jokes}}

[[No More Jokes]] was a video by [[Chris]] released on 5 [[November 2009]] in which he reveals the real identity of [[Clyde Cash]]. While both the SFW and NSFW versions of the video exist, Clyde's response to the video is currently lost.

===Power (Document)===
{{See also|Power}}

[[Power]] was a zip file containing three videos of [[Chris]] performing acts of strength to impress [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which was leaked by [[The Miscreants]] on 27 [[April 2009]]. Along with the three videos contained an edited audio file of "[[I Got a Fish]]" and a "special thanks" document. While the videos and audio files are available, the "special thanks" document has been lost.

===Red Forest (other audio files)===
{{See also|Red Forest}}

[[Red Forest]] is one of several audio files created by [[Joshua Wise]] created in the autumn of [[2017]] used to manipulate Chris's beliefs on reality. There are other files aside from [[Red Forest]] to have existed with the only known one being revealed by Wise in the [[Idea Guy Q&A]] in which Wise used Chris's audio in an altered form to manipulate him.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Idea_Guy_Q%26A#Manipulating_Chris</ref> This audio has never been realised and it is unknown how many other audio clips existed as none aside from [[Red Forest]] have been leaked making them lost.

===Sonichu Fan Promo (videos)===
{{See also|Sonichu Fan Promo}}

The [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] were three 3D animated shorts on [[Sonichu]] made by [[Timmys1984]], released between 11-14 [[October 2008]]. While the transcripts of all three videos exist, only the third video remains.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpNoO0ZRDBE</ref> However, [[Chris]] incorporated these animations into [[Sonichu]] Issue 9, pages 72, 78, and 79 with 72 being the first short, 78 is the second short, and 79 is the third short.

===Sonichu Home Club (Videos)===
{{See also|Sonichu Home Club}}

The [[Sonichu Home Club]] was an online event hosted on Chris's [[PS3]] through online network. The purpose of these events was to gather [[TRUE and HONEST]] fans of [[Sonichu]], however, it appears these events were done by [[Chris]] in the hope of receiving praise. Two of these events occurred, and while the transcripts remain the videos are lost.

===Sonichu's Live PS4 Broadcast===
{{See also|Twitch}}

On 16 [[March 2018]] Chris streamed the game '''Burnout Paradise Remastered''' on the [[PS4]]. While certain parts of the stream are available<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXt6H5t1MoY</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUwx7Y0A6_o</ref>, the stream footage in its entirety has been lost.

===The "Black Tape"===
{{See also|Chris and death}}
The "Black Tape" is a call between [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] on 7 [[September 2011]] in which [[Chris]] breaks down in the wake of his father's death the previous day. The contents of the call were considered so harrowing<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/</ref> that the call has never been released out of respect for [[Chris]] and due to its lack of entertainment value.

===The Sonichu Chronicles (Slides)===
{{See also|The Sonichu Chronicles}}

[[The Sonichu Chronicles]] was a PowerPoint presentation made by [[Chris]] in [[January 2009]] and was presented to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] as to give ideas on a [[Sonichu]] game. The transcript of the texts of the PowerPoint slides is available. However, the PowerPoint file is missing, making the slides currently lost. However, an image of the intro slide is available.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SonichuChronicles.jpg</ref>

===Unrecorded Voicemail Greetings===
{{See also|Voicemail greeting}}
Chris has changed his cell phone voicemail greeting message many times over the years. Many of these greetings have a transcription but no available recording, either because they were never recorded or because the recording has become lost.

===Unreleased Jackie E-mails===
{{See also|Category:Jackie E-mails}}

Between 5 [[April 2010]] to 7 [[September 2011]], [[Jackie]] and [[Chris]] interacted with each other over emails of which have been compiled into 31 sets. However, the emails present are the ones [[Alec Benson Leary]] compiled and it is confirmed that [[Jackie]] and [[Chris]] had email conversations that [[Alec Benson Leary]] omitted due to them being irrelevant.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/are-you-losing-interest-in-chris.3255/page-5#post-190559</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/ZznwI</ref> Considering how long ago these events happened, it is likely that these unreleased emails will never surface, making them lost.

===Unreleased Miscreant Interactions===
{{See also|Miscreants}}

The [[Miscreants]] were a group of [[trolls]] consisting of many of the most notable, including [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]]. While many of their interactions with [[Chris]] are known, [[Marvin]] has confirmed that a significant amount of chats and calls the [[Miscreants]] and [[Chris]] had have not been released.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-5-chris-and-chrissy.10627/page-6#post-822127</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/Om30l</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/official-decision-regarding-gender-and-chris-gender-discussion-megathread.6283/page-31#post-5067791</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/5HTxq</ref> Considering how long ago these interactions happened and the fact it is unknown if anyone has these unreleased chats and calls, these interactions are likely lost.

==Lost Relics==
===Asperchu Medallion===
{{See also|Asperchu}}

The '''Asperchu Medallion''' was a variant of the [[Sonichu]] medallion featuring [[Asperchu]] instead of [[Sonichu]] sent to [[Chris]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]]. It is unknown when [[Alec Benson Leary]] sent the medallion to [[Chris]] however the medallion was first seen in Chris's [[Magical Man Potion]] video uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]]. [[Chris]] revealed in a [[Facebook]] post made on 2 [[August 2014]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Fan_items_lost_in_the_fire</ref> that the '''Asperchu Medallion''' was destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], making it lost.

===Attraction Sign===
{{See also|Attraction Sign}}

The [[Attraction Sign]]s were a series of signs detailing his desire for a [[boyfriend-free girl]] that [[Chris]] used from [[2004]] to [[2014]]. All the signs made before the [[2014 house fire]] have not appeared since likely being destroyed in the event, thereby making them lost. One sign has been made since the [[2014 house fire]] on [[July 2014]] on Chris's [[OkCupid]] account<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Okcupid_8_jul_2014_4.jpg</ref>, however, it has also not appeared since likely making it lost.

===Heart Torch of Fail===
{{See also|Heart Torch of Fail}}

The [[Heart Torch of Fail]] was a torch made of [[Pixelblocks]] that has an unknown significance to the [[Love Quest]]. The torch was made sometime before or during [[2005]] as it appears in [[Sonichu 4]], which was produced in the year [[2005]]. Since its appearance in [[2005]], it has never been seen since likely, being destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], thereby making it lost.

===Medallions===
{{See also|Medallions}}

The [[Medallions]] refers to the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallions]] made by [[Chris]] over the course of his life. The prototype medallion which [[Chris]] wore in [[2004]] as it is mentioned in the [[Autism papers]] disappeared after this year and is believed to be lost in the literal sense. The 4th iteration of the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallions]], which was made after [[April 2017]], was last seen with Chris's arrest on 1 [[August 2021]]. It is unknown what happened to this medallion as [[Chris]] has made no mention of it since and has not been seen with it in his mugshots. Therefore it is possible that this medallion was destroyed or discarded by the authorities, making it lost.

===Red String of Fate===
{{See also|Red String of Fate}}

The [[Red String of Fate]] was a string with a paper heart attached on the end designed to attract a [[boyfriend-free girl]] that [[Chris]] created on 1 [[August 2004]]. In [[anime]] like [[Excel Saga]], of which Chris likely got the idea from as he watched [[Excel Saga]] before creating the [[Red String of Fate]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20160827014324/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchusNews3.htm</ref> the [[red string]] is used as a metaphor to in courting love. However, [[Chris]] did not see the metaphor and would throw the [[red string]] at women in the hopes of "reeling" them in. On 5 [[August 2004]] a [[Jerkop|mall security guard]] confiscated it and it has never resurfaced, likely being destroyed and thereby lost.

===The Wall of Originals===
{{See also|The Wall of Originals}}

[[The Wall of Originals]] was a wall covered in Chris's customized [[Pokémon]] cards. Most of the cards from the wall were destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], although some survived as revealed in a [[July 2017]] tweet and [[Chris]] listing the surviving cards on [[eBay]] in [[June 2018]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/July_2017_tweets#Holographic_cards</ref>

==Lost and Found Media==
===CWC is Angry===
{{See also|CWC is Angry}}

[[CWC is Angry]] is a video released in [[August 2007]] in which Chris shoots at a picture of [[Adam Stackhouse]] with the [[Megatron pistol]] and is notable for being Chris's last video before he got trolled. Sometime after, the video was lost as [[Adam Stackhouse]] in a comment made on or before 8 April 2009 mentions the video being lost,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20130408113141/http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=lA84b9eCyZA From YouTube comments, user 1693productions]</ref> later in [[April 2009]] the video was found.

===IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court===
{{See also|IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court}}

The [[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]] as the title suggests was a tour of Chris's home that occurred on 31 [[August 2014]] with [[Chris]] giving the tour to [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]]. The audio and slideshow of the tour was posted to [[Cousin Al]]'s YouTube channel on 5 [[March 2015]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/irl-tour-of-14-bc-audio.8231/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/JqIx8</ref> Sometime in or before [[July 2020]] [[Cousin Al]]'s YouTube channel was terminated leading to the video of the audio and slideshow becoming lost as reported in [[Geno Samuel]]'s documentary [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]] on 31 [[July 2020]].<ref>https://youtu.be/55EsycjHeJs?t=77</ref> However, as of 6 [[August 2022]], the video containing the audio and the slideshow of the tour have been found.

===Manchester High Leaks===
{{See also|Manchester High Leaks}}

The [[Manchester High Leaks]] are a series of high school assignments from Chris's junior year between [[1998]] and [[1999]].<ref>https://archive.ph/4xcbm</ref> It was thought that these documents were permanently lost in the [[2014 house fire]] as before the fire these documents had not surfaced leading to them being considered lost even before the fire. However, [[Cousin Al]] on [[June 2014]] after digging through Chris's trash, found these documents though they were damaged from the [[2014 house fire]].

===Rental House Tour===
{{See also|Rental House Tour}}

The [[Rental House Tour]] was a tour of Chris' temporary house in the aftermath of the [[2014 house fire]] recorded by [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]] on 31 [[August 2014]]. Sometime before or on 6 [[March 2019]] the video had been lost.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lost-cwcki-links.54097/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/uuKkf</ref> However, on 14 and 19 [[April 2019]] the 1st and 2nd halves of the recording were found.

===Scrapbook of Fail===
{{See also|Scrapbook of Fail}}

The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] are two binders containing every comic [[Chris]] has ever drawn including [[Sonichu]]. After the [[2014 house fire]] the scrapbook stopped being mentioned leading to the belief that it had been lost as reported by [[Sachumo]]<ref>https://youtu.be/bXjnakAlF-s?t=3420</ref> however, in [[November 2015]] [[Chris]] revealed the scrapbook had been found and survived the fire.

===ShecameforCWC.JPG===
{{See also|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}

[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] is a pornographic drawing consisting of [[Chris]] vaginally stimulating [[Megan Schroeder]] uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on 11 [[November 2007]]. On 4 [[November 2013]], [[Chris]] announced that he would destroy [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2013_Facebook_Posts#That_Dang_Drawing</ref>, leading to the belief that the original drawing had been lost, which was confirmed by a tweet [[Chris]] made on [[January 2018]], confirming he had destroyed [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/January_2018_tweets</ref> However, on [[April 2018]], [[Chris]] listed [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] for sale on his [[eBay]], which was bought by the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. It turned out that [[Chris]] had not destroyed the drawing but cut it up into squares, making it easy to reassemble, making it lost but not destroyed. It is unknown what the [[Teen Troon Squad]] have done with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] but it can be presumed they still own it, though they have not shown it off.

===The Classic===
{{See also|The Classic}}

[[The Classic]] refers to Chris's red and blue rugby shirt that he wore in many of his videos. It was thought that this shirt was destroyed and thereby lost in the [[2014 house fire]]. However, in [[April 2017]] [[Chris]] found [[The Classic]]. However, on 10 [[August 2018]] [[Barb]] threw away [[The Classic]] as revealed in a text to the [[Teen Troon Squad]] from [[Chris]], thereby making [[The Classic]] lost again.<ref>https://8ch.net/cow/res/651071.html#q687492</ref>

==Unknown Lost Media==
While this article has listed lost media associated with [[Chris]], this is the only lost media known to have existed and is now lost. It is almost certain that there are hundreds if not thousands of pieces of lost media around [[Chris]] that were never known or never released publicly or were never archived and have been lost. One can only speculate what has not been released or what has been lost over the course of Chris's life. Moreover, one can only speculate on what is waiting to be found.

{{References}}
{{Newbie}}
[[Category:Lost Media]]

2011

2023-02-27T20:13:03Z

Har0 Har0:

[[File:2011cwc.PNG|250px|thumb|In 2011, Chris became a girlfriend-free tomgirl.]]
[[Image:S2011.JPG|thumb|250px|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (blue) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (red). '''2011''' is marked in [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Mellow Yellow]].]]

'''2011''' was the third and arguably one of the darkest years since the discovery of the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s favorite lolcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris turned 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]. In spite of this, Chris took refuge on the [[PlayStation Network]], which has allowed the occasional bit of new material to surface, like the revelation that [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris really does enjoy wearing women's clothing]].

Two major events punctuated the later half of the year. The first was the [[Chris and death|death]] of Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] in early September. The second event occurred a month later, when Chris and Barb were both [[Chris and the Law|arrested]] [[28 October 2011|for multiple offenses, including trespassing, assault and failure to stop]] at [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] were bailed out two days later. Barbara appeared in court on the 31st of October, Chris on the 7th of November. They went back in front of the judge in April 2012. As a result of these events, many of Chris's observers decided to let Chris be, leaving 2011 to be the third and final year of organized [[trolls|trolling]].

==January==
{{main|January 2011}}

Not much happened this month. Just as it was expected of him, Chris bought ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'', and spent most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's [[Disguises|pseudonym]] [[JenkinsJinkies]] was outed, and his exploits on the [[Trollin Train]] forums from July-August 2010 were made public.

==February==
{{main|February 2011}}

This month saw the release of several of Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' levels, including [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and the [[Autism Tutorial]]s.

==March==
{{main|March 2011}}
[[File:ZyK7a.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in March, becoming a [[Tomgirl]]]]
An old pile of [[phone calls]] way back from the [[Liquid Chris|Liquis]]/[[Kacey]] saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Chris began experimenting with crossdressing, beginning the largest metasaga since Chris's discovery.

==April==
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in April 2011]]
{{main|April 2011}}

Trolls use the PSN security breach as a cover to leak [[Tomgirl Pictures|revealing pictures]] of Chris showing off his "[[Homos|Tomgirl]]" side.

==May==
{{main|May 2011}}

The PSN came back online, and Chris immediately deleted the "I am Tomgirl." quote. However, he later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where all TRUE and HONEST Tomgirls and Tomboys hang out.

==June==
{{main|June 2011}}

Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I No Socialize Online", published [[3DS Flipnote|a Flipnote]] and changed his [[voicemail message]] a few times. He also continued posting on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, revealing some of the most disturbing stuff to date.

==July==
[[File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in July 2011]]
{{main|July 2011}}

After months of minimal activity, Chris's internet presence increased markedly during July. His participation in the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum was discovered, after which Chris publicly announced his true identity to the other members. Chris also created a new [[Facebook]] account, contradicting his prior claim regarding online socialization, and logged back into his long-dormant [[YouTube]] account. Chris made several videos for [[Jackie]] ([[Chris and Jackie's Date]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]] and [[Cakefarts]]) which weren't leaked until [[February 2012]].

==August==
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris in August 2011]]
{{main|August 2011}}

August began with Chris and his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|tom-pals]] planning vengeance against the CWCki. Soon thereafter, Chris broke his lengthy [[Chris and the Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|internet hiatus]] by returning to YouTube and uploading [[Calling Out|a series of videos]] throughout [[August_2011|August]] in which he claims to have information on the true identities of a number of trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]]. These videos called for each troll to first upload a video of their own apologizing for their crimes against Chris, and then leave the internet forever. An earthquake and major hurricane hit Virginia during this month, but unfortunately, this did not stop Chris from uploading videos.

==September==
{{main|September 2011}}
[[File:Chris 09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in September, at [[Mal-Wart]]]]
September began with Chris on a high, having unmasked [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Alec Benson Leary]] and [[Thorg]], and forcing [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] to leave the Internet. Sadly, on 6 September, Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] died, and his funeral took place on 11 September. After that, nothing was heard from Chris.

==October==
{{main|October 2011}}

On 18 October, Chris tried to sell an old TV (presumably Bob's) on [[Craigslist]] for [[Chris and reality|more than $250]], suggesting that the Chandlers' financial situation has only gotten worse since Bob's death. [[28 October 2011|An incident]] occurred at the GAMe PLACe on 28 October, leading to the arrest of Chris and Barbara.

==November==
{{main|November 2011}}

Chris uploaded pics of [[Michael Snyder]] onto the [[CWCki]], and appeared in court to be charged with trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an incident.

==December==
{{main|December 2011}}

Chris and Barb were tried on 15 December 2011. It was a blue [[Christmas|C-Mas]] indeed. However, he ''still'' didn't get a [[All I Want For Christmas Is A Pretty Girlfriend|pretty girlfriend]] for Christmas.

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2010

2023-02-02T19:36:55Z

Har0 Har0: some gramatical fixes and inclusion of Chris's C-Mas wish for 2010

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in 2010.]]
[[Image:S2010.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (blue) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (red). '''2010''' is marked in [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Mellow Yellow]].]]

'''2010''' marked the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Fed up with his [[trolls]], Chris spent several months offline, attempting to hide from his infamous reputation. As such, the year was punctuated by dry spells. And yet, Chris still found new ways to embarrass himself.

A box of condoms Chris had bought for his first sexual encounter had expired.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims to stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On 25 February, Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in a series of phone calls from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On 9 March, Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertently reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

Chris let slip a screenname of [[The Wallflower]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover her identity, and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris after being led to the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the lulz. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On 5 April, Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], discovering that Chris had restarted his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On May 26, Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On 30 June, Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris travelled to The GAMe PLACe with a plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his [[Love Quest]] offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On 9 July, Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's working on the comic pages. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On 29 August, the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, a phone call to Bob Chandler was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one concerning his upcoming high school reunion, and the other where Chris concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3, claiming he did himself in. Two days later, Chris would destroy his PS3, and there was much rejoicing.

==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On 16 September, Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On 4 October, Chris [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplays]] as [[McDonald's|the Grimace]].]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September, if not crazier. He made another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[Chris and cosplaying|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made two scary and confusing videos in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad, and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[Chris's room|room]] or even the [[14 Branchland Court|house]] altogether, featuring Chris driving his mom's car and even going for a "hike". The conflict with Lars also continued, however on a seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable for the sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris (albeit the quality of them varied) including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month. In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On 6 November, a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. Chris had a call with Lars and a video of him failing to do pull-ups was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he quit the Internet for the 6th time on 22 November and deleted most of his other [[YouTube]] videos in the progress.

==December==
{{main|December 2010}}

December began under the shadow of Chris's sixth attempt to leave the Internet in favour of playing [[vidya]] all the time. The final batch of e-mails between Chris and Jackie was released. As usual, Chris did not get [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend| a girlfriend for Christmas]], for the sixth time since [[2004]] though this year, he wished for both the CWCki and Encyclopedia Dramatica to completely disappear off the internet. {{clear}}

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2022

2022-12-31T19:59:45Z

Har0 Har0: changed present tense to past and added description

{{ongoing}}

'''2022''' was the fifteenth year since [[Chris]]'s discovery. Chris's activity during this year was rather scarce, due to his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] and upcoming court proceedings on [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charges, and the eventual sealing of his case due to relentless pestering from the [[Unholy Tetrad]]. Chris spent the entirety of 2022 in jail, marking a full year of him being incarcerated.

Chris spent his [[February 2022|40th birthday]] in jail and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in [[April 2022|April]]. In July, Chris's case was to be sent to a Grand Jury as the charges were upgraded to a felony.

==January==
[[File:JailLetter19Jan2022Env.jpg|thumb|Letter sent in 19 January 2022]]
{{main|January 2022}}
Chris sent a few letters to [[Kengle]] and other fans. He also made some phone calls, including warning the world about global warming and asking for money to be given to [[Barb]].

==February==
{{main|February 2022}}
Chris's hearing was scheduled for 3 February,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-2021-court-case-continued-into-the-new-year.105669/</ref> but was pushed back by a third continuance, again, for unknown reasons.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11084359}}</ref> The month ended with Chris being transferred to [[Western State Hospital]] - the implications of this in regard to his sentence and release have yet to be seen.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11292959}}</ref>

==March==
{{main|March 2022}}
[[File:Western State Hospital.jpg|thumb|[[Western State Hospital]]: Chris' residence from 28 February to 3 May, 2022.]]
March 2022 was one of the quietest months of Christory in over a decade. For the entire month, absolutely nothing was heard from Chris, due to his transfer. The closest thing to actual news was a returned letter from Spamton,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=113756|post=11410481}}</ref> which revealed that no future letters sent to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail|jail]] would be forwarded to Chris. However, some [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Spamton|holdover]] [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Bazaar|letters]] from January did arrive near the beginning of the month, and The Gamer From Mars' documentary [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]] premiered its first two episodes.

==April==
{{main|April 2022}}
BABSCon finally took place after a two-year-long delay from the ongoing pandemic. Unfortunately, Chris could not attend, as he was incommunicado in a [[Saga#Nuthouse_Saga_.2828_February_2022_-_3_May_2022.29|happy home]].

==May==
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2022]]
{{main|May 2022}}
Chris was sent back to [[CVRJ]] on 3 May with a new mugshot taken upon his return, where he's seen looking somewhat shaken by his experience during the transfer.

==June==
[[File:JailArt18.jpg|thumb|left|Art from June 2022, depicting "Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu as the Sun of Righteousness"]]
{{main|June 2022}}
Chris drew [[Praetor Jail Art|several drawings]] and sent some letters.

==July==
[[File:July 22, 2022 CWC Envelope.jpg|thumb|Letter sent in July 2022]]
{{main|July 2022}}
On 28 July, a hearing on the incest charge took place, and it was decided to present the case to a Grand Jury, implying the charge is being prosecuted as a felony. This occurred only one day away from the first year anniversary of the [[Incest Call]] leak and four days from [[Jail Saga#Arrest|his arrest]].

==August==
{{main|August 2022}}
Chris's case was scheduled to be heard by a Grand Jury on 8 August for a potential felony incest charge. A continuance occurred for a motion hearing on 9 August regarding an autism disorder deferred disposition. Further, court records were sealed. Chris would remain in jail throughout the month, releasing more jail art toward the end of August but otherwise being strangely silent. Also, an incident involving trans streamer {{w|Keffals}} leads to Kiwi Farms being taken down from the internet, and the CWCki goes down as well due to sharing the same host at the time.

==September==
{{main|September 2022}}
Nothing happened this month, as Chris suddenly stopped sending letters and the CWCki was down throughout. Many wondered whether or not Chris was even still in jail.

==October==
{{main|October 2022}}
New pictures and footage of [[14 Branchland Court]] emerge. This month also saw the return of the [[CWCki]] after a while of downtime, now on a new host.

==November==
{{main|November 2022}}
3 November was the 15-year anniversary of Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.

== References ==
<references/>

{{timeline}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

2022

2022-12-22T16:55:30Z

Har0 Har0:

{{ongoing}}

'''2022''' is the fifteenth year since [[Chris]]'s discovery. Chris's activity during this year was rather scarce, due to his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] and upcoming court proceedings on [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charges, and the eventual sealing of his case due to relentless pestering from the [[Unholy Quintet]]. Chris will spend the entirety of 2022 in jail.

Chris spent his [[February 2022|40th birthday]] in jail and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in [[April 2022|April]]. In July, Chris's case was to be sent to a Grand Jury.

==January==
[[File:JailLetter19Jan2022Env.jpg|thumb|Letter sent in 19 January 2022]]
{{main|January 2022}}
Chris sent a few letters to [[Kengle]] and other fans. He also made some phone calls, including warning the world about global warming and asking for money to be given to [[Barb]].

==February==
{{main|February 2022}}
Chris's hearing was scheduled for 3 February,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-2021-court-case-continued-into-the-new-year.105669/</ref> but was pushed back by a third continuance, again, for unknown reasons.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11084359}}</ref> The month ended with Chris being transferred to [[Western State Hospital]] - the implications of this in regard to his sentence and release have yet to be seen.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11292959}}</ref>

==March==
{{main|March 2022}}
[[File:Western State Hospital.jpg|thumb|[[Western State Hospital]]: Chris' residence from 28 February to 3 May, 2022.]]
March 2022 was one of the quietest months of Christory in over a decade. For the entire month, absolutely nothing was heard from Chris, due to his transfer. The closest thing to actual news was a returned letter from Spamton,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=113756|post=11410481}}</ref> which revealed that no future letters sent to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail|jail]] would be forwarded to Chris. However, some [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Spamton|holdover]] [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Bazaar|letters]] from January did arrive near the beginning of the month, and The Gamer From Mars' documentary [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]] premiered its first two episodes.

==April==
{{main|April 2022}}
BABSCon finally took place after a two-year-long delay from the ongoing pandemic. Unfortunately, Chris could not attend, as he was incommunicado in a [[Saga#Nuthouse_Saga_.2828_February_2022_-_3_May_2022.29|happy home]].

==May==
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2022]]
{{main|May 2022}}
Chris was sent back to [[CVRJ]] on 3 May with a new mugshot taken upon his return, where he's seen looking somewhat shaken by his experience during the transfer.

==June==
[[File:JailArt18.jpg|thumb|left|Art from June 2022, depicting "Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu as the Sun of Righteousness"]]
{{main|June 2022}}
Chris drew [[Praetor Jail Art|several drawings]] and sent some letters.

==July==
[[File:July 22, 2022 CWC Envelope.jpg|thumb|Letter sent in July 2022]]
{{main|July 2022}}
On 28 July, a hearing on the incest charge took place, and it was decided to present the case to a Grand Jury, implying the charge is being prosecuted as a felony. This occurred only one day away from the first year anniversary of the [[Incest Call]] leak and four days from [[Jail Saga#Arrest|his arrest]].

==August==
{{main|August 2022}}
Chris's case was scheduled to be heard by a Grand Jury on 8 August for a potential felony incest charge. A continuance occurred for a motion hearing on 9 August regarding an autism disorder deferred disposition. Further, court records were sealed. Chris would remain in jail throughout the month, releasing more jail art toward the end of August but otherwise being strangely silent. Also, an incident involving trans streamer {{w|Keffals}} leads to Kiwi Farms being taken down from the internet, and the CWCki goes down as well due to sharing the same host at the time.

==September==
{{main|September 2022}}
Nothing happened this month, as Chris suddenly stopped sending letters and the CWCki was down throughout. Many wondered whether or not Chris was even still in jail.

==October==
{{main|October 2022}}
New pictures and footage of [[14 Branchland Court]] emerge. This month also saw the return of the [[CWCki]] after a while of downtime, now on a new host.

==November==
{{main|November 2022}}
3 November was the 15-year anniversary of Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.

== References ==
<references/>

{{timeline}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

Forgot the Glitter

2022-11-22T20:04:23Z

Har0 Har0: changed to Chris attempting to sing the Walmart song rather than actually sing it

{{Honest}}

[[File:Cutie mark.jpg|thumb|The cutie mark.]]

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video made on 14 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed [[Chris]] performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated. The "song" Chris attempts to sing is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37-GbX3iKbU Walmart]" by Mr. Ghetto, which became infamous for its video featuring women twerking all over the rapper's local Walmart store.

[[Chris]], dressed in his jean skirt appears trying on a brand new red tank top with a price tag still attached to it. The tank top looks way too small for him, suggesting that even if [[Chris]] were to [[Fashion|buy new clothes]] they would still look as if he had had them since he was twelve years old. After a short disclaimer he starts wobbling his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal a [[tomgirl]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek, which he calls his "[[cutie mark]]". It appears to be drawn on with Crayola markers. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris's continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience [[Chris]] finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "[[Jackie|J.PIE]]", because nothing says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle on your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request, a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a [[Autism|sane individual]], has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. However, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| ytid = Av3G1vuda8Q
| stardate = 14 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Hooker incident|Striptease]]}}, {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Who's Your Brony?]]
| next = [[Cakefarts]]
}}

{{quote|Oh! The things I do for love.}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Chris bends over to the camera in his tomgirl attire while confound in a Walmart changing room. His voice is at a whisper, and is obscured by other voices in the background''] I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded than I thought...what the hell is going on with that light? Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the two minutes in the dressing room here.

[''Chris begins to shake his body, then begins to poorly imitate rapping to "Walmart"''] Walla walla Walmart, walla walla Walmart, walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla...''[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]'' Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart.

Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart.

Walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart.

[''Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.'']

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart.

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla.

Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Walmart.

[''Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.'']

Oh! The things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

[''[[Stress Sigh|sigh]]''] Jackie, I'll progress. Check my progress.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Who's Your Brony?]]|nextlink=[[Cakefarts]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Sonichu 5

2022-11-18T17:05:15Z

Har0 Har0: text fix

{{quote|EebeeFleebie05|Chris's title for his file of the comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties5.png]]</ref>}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #5
| cover = Sonichu - Issue 5, Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 29 April 2006
| finishedcomic = 20 June 2006
| pagecount = 53
| episodes = 12-13
| previous = [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]
| next = [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #5''' is the sixth issue of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series.

By this point in his life [[Chris]] was obsessed with [[Megan]], and it's painfully obvious in this issue. For one thing, he's suddenly using ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards all the damn time. Chris brushes premises like his [[Love Quest]] and the Chris/[[Wes]]/[[Sarah Hammer]] triangle under the rug so that he can introduce [[Sailor Megtune]] and the storyline that she is clearly meant to be Chris's sweetheart but is mysteriously uncomfortable with his affections. Reading Megan's dialogue in this issue suggests he has no earthly idea why she would refuse his advances, and Chris doesn't even invent a fictional explanation for the sake of drama.

Episode 13 introduces the first major multi-issue story arc, in which [[Mary Lee Walsh]] finally sets her sights higher than assaulting a single moron and instead invades his entire town, [[CWCville]], as well imprisoning [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister]] in a dark mirror. The elements introduced here would continue to play out until Walsh's final defeat in [[Episode 21]].

This issue also abandons any pretense of featuring [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in any meaningful role. In commentary on the ''[[Sonichu 5 Official Videobook|Sonichu 5 Videobook]]'', Chris explains that his [[Barbara|mom]] has forbidden him from writing any more [[Sub-Episodes]] about his real life, so he does the only logical thing: he makes his life the ''main'' Episode. Whereas issues [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] and [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] set Sonichu aside to introduce new characters, and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] was a special focusing on Chris, ''Sonichu'' #5 is simply a blatant and unjustified spotlight on Chris, with the titular character of the franchise taking a back seat to him, Megan, and even a [[Patti-Chan|dead dog]].

==Episode 12: Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512065755554575.1073741831.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 12''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_1 ''Episode 12''
| videobook =Sonichu_5_Official_Videobook#Episode_12{{!}}''Episode 12''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic6P1.htm ''Episode 12''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP-BhY2-rPw&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=15 ''Episode 12''
}}
[[Image:Getahintchris.JPG|thumb|Even in his own fantasy world, Chris is unable to take obvious hints. Also - Christ, he wears the medallion to formal occasions.]]
[[Image:120-CWCSpells.jpg|thumb|CWC-Spells!]]
The first half of the comic stars Chris as he saves [[Sarah Hammer]]'s wedding from the evil [[Wes Iseli]]. The story is a sort of coda to the [[Sub-Episodes]] of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], with Chris introducing [[Megan Schroeder]] as his new love interest. The entire wedding plot seems to be simply a means of writing Sarah Hammer out of the story so Megan can take her place, necessitating a hasty euthanization of the [[Anchuent Powers]] storyline since Sarah is no longer a suitable romantic interest.

Much of the comic seems to have been made the way it was for the sake of wooing weeaboo and one-time potential sweetheart Megan, including altering the artwork to a more [[Anime|manga]]-esque style. The terminology of the dialogue also reflects this; the term "Sailor Soldier", a more accurate translation of the lead team in ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', is used instead of the traditional term "Sailor Scout", a piece of trivia Megan presumably gave him as Chris uses Sailor Moon as little more than a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|totem of heterosexuality]]. Having turned Megan into a glamorous hero, Chris then sees fit to unambiguously profess his romantic attraction to her, which probably did little to improve their real-life friendship.

While past issues of ''Sonichu'' have featured embellished versions of Chris's real-life exploits, it was generally obvious what had actually taken place, whereas the truth behind this story is less clear. The fact that Chris attends the wedding "in spirit" in the comic suggests that he was never actually there at all in real life. In the videobook version of the episode, Chris even states that the reason why he is initially invisible while attending Sarah's wedding is that he wasn't invited to it; it can be reasonably assumed that this statement applies to both comics and real life.

It's not as though Sarah would have had any desire or obligation to invite a sex-obsessed former neighbor anyway. Other reasons for believing that Chris was not present at Sarah's wedding include his ignorance of wedding traditions (the bride isn't supposed to throw the bouquet to any specific person, and catching the bouquet only means you are more likely to be married if you are a woman), and the lack of detail in the depiction of the wedding itself. The guests are literally white circles above chairs, which could also be attributed to Chris's work ethic, but Spicer is "played" by a fictional character, suggesting Chris has never seen the man, and the chapel looks suspiciously similar to one seen in the final scene of the ''[[Excel Saga]]'' anime.

Chris catches the bouquet at the end and implies that it heralds his incipient romance with Megan.

===Synopsis===

Chris opens the story by announcing that "Jack's Knight", a character from a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card, will be playing the part of [[William Spicer]].

In a nondescript chapel, [[Sarah Hammer]] is marrying Spicer before a gathering of white, humanoid blobs sitting in the pews (with one possible colored person, but Chris may have colored over them on accident). Also present is Chris, floating invisibly above the proceedings. For some reason, they left the door open to the church, and [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] observes from the open doorway. Still bitter over Sarah rejecting him in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], he plans to take revenge.

From his vantage, Chris ponders the new life awaiting his childhood friend. For some reason, he's using the powers of his [[medallion]] to attend the ceremony invisibly, and he regrets being unable to stay long enough to catch the bouquet, even though that's a tradition for the women of the wedding, and they probably wouldn't want some overweight, smelly man there to grab the bouquet and throw a fit when he doesn't/hit on the lucky catcher.

When the first version of this comic was published, it was not explained why Chris attends the wedding in secret or why was he planning to stay for only a part of it. However, in the videobook version of this episode, Chris states that he attends the wedding invisible due to not being invited to it. Which is weird Chris would not write himself as part of the wedding, or even as her "Maid of Honor", given that Sarah/Nicole constantly refers to him as 'best friend', and is supposed to be his reincarnated wife. Also, the fact Sarah/Nicole is later seen as Chris's "best man" in [[Wedding_Comic| Sonichu Special 2]], but that's another story.

More important to Chris is his recent friendship with a [[Sailor Megtune|"real super girl"]] whom he compares his feelings to her to "A strong, pure love sweeter than a passionate strawberry, or the sweetest piece of chocolate". His reverie is cut short, however, when his sixth sense alerts him to Wes-Li's attack on William Spicer and his abduction of Sarah.

Determined to prevent this, Chris uses his Duel Disk Launcher to "play a 'reasoning'" (read: reason with Wes). Telepathically, he tries to talk Wes out of his plan, pointing out that there are other girls behind the "light magical curtain" (advice Chris falls to listen to himself). But, since Wes has no "conseince," he attacks Spicer anyway, forcing Chris to reveal himself and transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

Still fantasizing about [[Megan]], Chris tries to convince Wes to stand down. Wes brutally beats him into a mess instead and races out of the chapel with Sarah over his shoulder. Foolishly not wearing her Cherokian bracelets, Sarah is unable to summon the powers of [[Saramah Rosechu]] to defend herself. Or due to the fact she is a girl and needs a man to save her, being reduced to a typical 'Sonichu' female.

The guests, apparently nonplussed to see Chris appear in the middle of the chapel and turn into a magic hedgehog, implore him to rescue Sarah. Chris responds by spouting even more collectible card game rhetoric, which somehow rejuvenates him. Chris catches up to Wes, and continues to define their battle in terms of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' dueling, even though Wes has no cards, isn't interested in playing, and refuses to "take turns".

Chris eventually uses an extremely convenient and specific card that teleports Sarah out of Wes's dire clutches and into his own, and he speeds back to the church. Wes attempts to stop them, but his attack backfires thanks to the timely interference of [[Sailor Megtune]] and her bulldyke familiar [[Megagi La Skunk]]. Megtune somehow uses a guitar to repel Wes-Li's attacks and defeat him (no word as to whether or not the real Megan plays guitar). Chris goes wild with lust at the sight of her assaulting Wes-Li, raising his health points. Megagi forcefully reminds Chris to finish Wes off and to stop "oogling her maternal creator", although Megtune's attacks have left him lying facefirst in the ground. As a "coup de grace", Chris uses a lightning bolt as a golf club and putts Wes-Li into a black hole, and declares their "duel" to be over, apparently qualifying a 3-on-1 gang stomping as a duel, which is one on one, sometimes two on two.

Afterward, Chris has returned to his human form, apparently loitering at the church and wondering why Megan refuses to even talk to him except by e-mail. Sarah throws him the bridal bouquet as a token of her appreciation of their long friendship.

Chris closes by noting that "catching a bride's bouquet is a sign meaning a strong chance of marriage for you within a few years", failing to realize that this tradition applies to ''women'', whereas the men are supposed to catch the bridal garter thrown by the groom.

===Analysis===
And with that, the main plot that was set up in issue 2 is gone, despite all its build-up, just so Chris can create a new love interest. Wes-Li turning evil is never explained, the artwork is as lazy as ever, and Chris probably never went to the actual wedding.

===Advertisement 1===
[[Virginia is for Virgins]]!

==Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"==
{{Resources
| title =Smashed Hearts & Entrapment
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512065755554575.1073741831.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 13''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_24 ''Episode 13''
| videobook =Sonichu_5_Official_Videobook#Episode_13{{!}}''Episode 13''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic6P13.htm ''Episode 13''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gm1b8gMT20&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=16 ''Ep. 13 (1 of 2)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8h5XLKXEKA&index=17&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Ep. 13 (2 of 2)''
}}
[[Image:Whatsgoingon.JPG|right|thumb|What, indeed?]]
[[Image:Lolwutdisclaimer.jpg|thumb|TV-Y7]]
The rest of the issue sees Chris battle a full-scale invasion of [[CWCville]]. Crystal becomes trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], a plot twist Chris seems to have devised purely to make himself more sympathetic to Megan in the comic, except that it was an imaginary Megan taking imaginary pity on Chris for the loss of his imaginary twin sister. In spite of the story's notional separation from reality, Chris altered the part where Megan hugs him, probably because of objections by the real Megan.

Episode 13 also features some hilariously ill-conceived retroactive continuity to tone down Chris's none-too-subtle sexualization of Meg-chan. On the original Page 50, Megtune comforts and embraces Chris, expressing her relief that Chris is safe, and apologizing that she couldn't help his sister. Ever the class act, Chris throws in some upskirt fanservice.

There seems to have been some conflict of interests over page 50, and so Chris retconned a disclaimer into page 51 of this version, with Rosechu needlessly assuring the reader that the depicted hug didn't occur in reality:
{{quote|Hey-Ay! My papa asked me to set the record straight ... hey, sweet hug on the last page, but I'm afraid it didn't happen for real; you know with his wishful thinkin', but seriously, they are super-cool with each-other, and Papa C. really loves Megan. Okay, cool? Raight! Be sure to check out the ending in the next issue! C-ya!|Rosechu, even less coherent than usual}}

This seems to imply Chris believes people who read ''Sonichu'' believe it depicts real-life events. No one needs a disclaimer to explain that Megan doesn't wear a {{w|Sailor Soldier}} outfit and fight crime with Sonic recolors all day. Ultimately, Chris scrapped the original page 50 altogether and replaced it with a more passive-aggressive version of Megan's reaction.

Most likely, the revisions occurred shortly after the comic was completed. Chris dates the final page "June 20, 2006". On [[2006#June|June 25]], Megan told Chris to back off, and this probably marked the beginning of Chris's attempts to modify his portrayal of Megan in the comic to appease her. [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] would mark Megtune's final appearance in the series, replaced by a plainclothes version of Megan, and as of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] she simply is never seen or referred to again. Megagi, however, is kept around at least until the [[Sonichu 9|tenth]] issue, although once Megan is gone Megagi becomes a brainless sex doll as per Chris's ideas about [[Chris and gender|women]]. The once tomboy sailor scout who actually fought crime became reduced to Bionic's cheerleader, cheer outfit, pom-poms and all.

===Synopsis===
In [[CWCville]] Park, a man in a brown uniform attacks a couple before they can have their first kiss. At a coffee shop, a man in a red uniform tasers one of the customers before he can confess his feelings to his true love. Elsewhere in town, a white-uniformed man beats a couple for holding hands, citing the law of [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

As the crisis deepens within the city, its mayor and 'greatest hero' (next to Chris) are goofing off at the [[CWCville Mall|mall]] talking about Chris's love for [[Megan]]. While Chris had complained in Episode 12 that Megan had been standoffish towards him, he seems totally optimistic about his prospects when discussing things with Sonichu. Chris even admits that he stopped using his [[Attraction Sign]] since meeting Megan, a sign of his complete confidence in their relationship. He speaks disparagingly of the Sign, but he would be making use of it again before long.

Finally, [[DJ Jamsta]] (whose job it apparently is) announces over the radio that [[Jerkops]] have invaded [[CWCville]], and pleads for Chris and Sonichu to get off their asses and do something about it. Chris is amazed that his arch-enemy has recovered so quickly from her defeat in [[Sonichu 4|the last issue]], and recalls how he educated the populace to know the difference between CWCville's (absent until this episode) police force and the Jerkops. Surprisingly, Chris has a positive opinion about CWCVille police- possibly because REAL cops would stop him for preying on women at local shops and being a public nuisance, where his version of cops turn a blind eye.

Meanwhile, Mary Lee Walsh has assembled her Jerkop army in a standoff with the CWCville police. Together, she and [[Count Graduon]] wait for Chris to arrive. Their plan is simple: during the battle, Chris will be lured into a certain part of the road, where they have hidden the [[Dark Mirror Hole]]. Once trapped inside the magic mirror, Chris will not only be unable to prevent PVCC's conquest of CWCville, but the immersion of his Medallion in the Dark Mirror will awaken the dormant evil within [[Naitsirhc Giovanni]], although it's unclear whether or not Mary knows this.

In what can only be described as a tactical blunder, Chris orders his police force to evacuate the area and clear out, leaving him and his squad to repel the invaders. Chris summons the [[Chaotic Combo]], [[Rosechu]], and his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], while he transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. *note: before the summon, Rosechu is shopping, Bubble and Angelica were having a tea party, and Crystal was having fun perfume sampling*

Standing united, the nine Electric Hedgehog Pokémon demand that Mary withdraw. Walsh unsurprisingly does not oblige them and summons the giant [[CADD Chef]], Keneru Meneth, to destroy Chris. Chris orders Crystal to help him battle the CADD Chef and sends the rest of his forces to battle the Jerkop Army. Chris's failure to reckon with the power of Walsh and Graduon proves disastrous, as they attack Chris and Crystal, frustrating their efforts to battle the giant robot.

Fortunately, [[Sailor Megtune]] and her butch underling [[Megagi]] arrive to bail their asses out yet again. Megtune defeats the CADD Chef with one blow, yet once again asks Chris to finish it off anyway. Chris and Crystal use their ultimate attack, the [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] to destroy the CADD Chef completely. As Sonichu's forces have made short work of the Jerkops, Chris turns to deal with the remaining threat of Walsh and Graduon.[[File:Page_50_redraw.jpg|thumb|A redraw of the revised version of page 50. Created by Kip on the Discord server.]] But before he can fire the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], Graduon springs the trap, and Chris sinks into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]]. Only the timely assistance of Crystal and Megtune prevents him from falling all the way in, as they grab his hands to keep him from descending further into the lightless dimension.

As the [[Medallion]] enters the Dark Mirror, [[Naitsirhc Giovanni]] senses Chris's thoughts, and a Black Sonichu [[Medallion]] appears over his chest. Overcome with pain, he undergoes a strange transformation. When [[Black Sonichu]] walks by his room, he mistakes Naitsirhc for Chris and is horrified to see what his master has become.

In CWCville, Mary and Graduon attempt to flip the mirror, causing Megtune and Crystal to trade places with Chris and become trapped in the mirror themselves. Sensing this at the last second, Crystal hurls Megtune clear, so that only she is trapped (possibly the only true act of heroism in the comic that wasn't selfish). Mary quickly collects the Dark Mirror, holding Crystal hostage as Chris and the others look on, powerless to save her. The story continues in Episode 14, featured in [[Sonichu 6]].

===CWC's Art Gallery!===
[[Sailor Moon]], by guest artist [[Megan Schroeder]].

===Back Cover===
As with [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], early editions feature the personal army request page, while the version uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] features an ad for ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.

==Comic pages==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 5
|<gallery mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Issue 5, Cover.jpg|Cover
File:Sonichu - Issue 5, Correction.jpg|Correction<ref>According to the [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic6.htm archived version] of Sonichu 5.</ref>
File:Sonichu - Jargon Page, Megan version.jpg|Disclaimer
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 12: My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 1.jpg |Page 1
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 2.jpg |Page 2
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 3.jpg |Page 3
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 4.jpg |Page 4
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 5.jpg |Page 5
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 6.jpg |Page 6
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 7.jpg |Page 7
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 8.jpg |Page 8
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 9.jpg |Page 9
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 10.jpg|Page 10
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 11.jpg|Page 11
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 12.jpg|Page 12
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 13.jpg|Page 13
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 14.jpg|Page 14
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 15.jpg|Page 15
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 16.jpg|Page 16
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 17.jpg|Page 17
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 18.jpg|Page 18
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 19.jpg|Page 19
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 20.jpg|Page 20
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 21.jpg|Page 21
File:Sonichu - Episode 12, Page 22.jpg|Page 22
File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Virginia is for Virgins.jpg|Page 23 (advertisement)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 13: Smashed Hearts & Entrapment" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 1.jpg|Page 24
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 2.jpg|Page 25
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 3.jpg|Page 26
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 4.jpg|Page 27
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 5.jpg|Page 28
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 6.jpg|Page 29
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 7.jpg|Page 30
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 8.jpg|Page 31
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 9.jpg|Page 32
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 10.jpg|Page 33
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 11.jpg|Page 34
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 12.jpg|Page 35
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 13.jpg|Page 36
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 14.jpg|Page 37
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 15.jpg|Page 38
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 16.jpg|Page 39
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 17.jpg|Page 40
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 18.jpg|Page 41
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 19.jpg|Page 42
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 20.jpg|Page 43
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 21.jpg|Page 44
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 22.jpg|Page 45
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 23.jpg|Page 46
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 24.jpg|Page 47
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 25.jpg|Page 48
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 26.jpg|Page 49
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27.jpg|Page 50
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 28.jpg|Page 51
File:Sonichu - Art Gallery, Sailor Moon by Megan Schroeder.jpg|Page 52
File:Sonichu - Back Cover.jpg|Original Back Cover
</gallery><gallery caption="Revised pages" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27, Revision 1.jpg|Revised version of page 50
File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 28, Revision 1.jpg|Revised version of page 51
File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Revised Back Cover
</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Megan Schroeder]]
*[[CADD Chef]]
*[[Virginia is for Virgins]]

{{References}}

==External links==
[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JFYIVXVGC4aQFfqzsB38tGQ0lHfBL5Ib/view?usp=sharing/ Download the CBR to read the comic the way godbear intended]
[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1C7lNndre6b8qH9gAgRawOpnxwiqyAoCb/view?usp=sharing ZIP download]
{{Sonichu}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]

2022

2022-07-21T17:52:49Z

Har0 Har0:

{{ongoing}}

'''2022''' is the fifteenth year since [[Chris]]'s discovery. Chris's activity during this year is currently uncertain, due to his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] and upcoming trial on [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charges. We can nevertheless assume that much like the rest of [[2021]] following [[August 2021|August]], he will remain incarcerated for at least a good portion of the year.

Chris spent his [[February 2022|40th birthday]] in jail and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in [[April 2022|April]]. Chris's trial is expected to continue on [[July 2022|28 July]].
==January==
[[File:JailLetter19Jan2022Env.jpg|thumb|Letter sent in 19 January 2022]]
{{main|January 2022}}
Chris sent a few letters to [[Kengle]] and other fans. He also made some phone calls, including warning the world about global warming and asking for money to be given to [[Barb]].

==February==
{{main|February 2022}}
Chris' trial was scheduled to resume on 3 February,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-2021-court-case-continued-into-the-new-year.105669/</ref> but was pushed back by a third continuance, again, for Unknown Reasons.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11084359}}</ref> The month ended with Chris being transferred to [[Western State Hospital]] - the implications of this in regard to his sentence and release have yet to be seen.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11292959}}</ref>

==March==
{{main|March 2022}}
[[File:Western State Hospital.jpg|thumb|[[Western State Hospital]]: Chris' residence from 28 February to 3 May, 2022.]]
March 2022 was one of the quietest months of Christory in over a decade. For the entire month, absolutely nothing was heard from Chris, due to his transfer. The closest thing to actual news was a returned letter from Spamton,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=113756|post=11410481}}</ref> which revealed that no future letters sent to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail|jail]] would be forwarded to Chris. However, some [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Spamton|holdover]] [[Jail Letter - Prayer to Bazaar|letters]] from January did arrive near the beginning of the month, and The Gamer From Mars' documentary [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]] premiered its first two episodes.

==April==
{{main|April 2022}}
BABSCon finally took place after a two-year-long delay from the ongoing pandemic. Unfortunately, Chris could not attend, as he was incommunicado in a [[Saga#Nuthouse_Saga_.2828_February_2022_-_3_May_2022.29|happy home]].

==May==
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2022]]
{{main|May 2022}}
Chris was sent back to [[CVRJ]] on 3 May with a new mugshot taken upon his return, where he's seen looking somewhat shaken by his experience during the transfer.

==June==
[[File:JailArt18.jpg|thumb|left|Art from June 2022, depicting "Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu as the Sun of Righteousness"]]
{{main|June 2022}}
Chris drew [[Praetor Jail Art|several drawings]] and sent some letters.

==July==
{{main|July 2022}}
Chris' trial is expected to resume on July 28,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}</ref> only one day away from the first year anniversary of the [[Incest Call]] leak and four days from [[Jail Saga#Arrest|his arrest]].

==November==
{{main|November 2022}}
3 November will be the 15-year anniversary of Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.

== References ==
<references/>

{{timeline}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

2008

2022-07-13T17:31:38Z

Har0 Har0: fixed spelling error of Blanca's name in the September paragraph

[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2008'''.]]
[[Image:S2008.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (blue) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (red). 2008 is marked in Mellow Yellow.]]
{{Quote|Chris, you've got a way to fall.|[[Vivian Gee]], 9 October 2008. How right she was.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref>}}
'''2008''' is the year that [[Christian Weston Chandler]] turned 26 years old. This year showed the completion of two phases that would, because of a strange coincidence, put Chris in the unique and unreal situation that he would be in the first months of the next year.

The first phase was one of alienation, in which Chris's illogical behavior frightened away his only friend, [[Megan]], and got him thrown out of his old church, leaving him desperate and lonely.

The second was a phase of [[troll]]ing in which a semi-organized group of obsessed, amused and anonymous individuals, via a vast understanding of the new media, started to take the places of Chris's acquaintances, either by posing as online girlfriends, or as members of an online fanbase. This second phase was rough and bumpy, but eventually established the parameters of Chris's life in [[2009]], and for the rest of his life afterwards.

==January==
{{main|January 2008}}

January was a slow month, with few notable incidents save Chris trying to hack ED numerous times and complaining about being lonely even more.

==February==
{{Main|February 2008}}

February was even more uneventful. Chris continued updating his Facebook status, obviously feeling lonely. Other than playing video games and doing this it's likely he did little else this month.

==March==
[[Image:WesleyChurchPhoto.jpg|thumb|On '''17 March 2008''', Chris is forced to start attending the [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]].]]
{{Main|March 2008}}

March was the jumping-off point for what would be the rollercoaster of 2008. Megan finds out about Chris's drawings of her, and she is not happy. In an attempt to save their relationship, Chris wages war on ED in an attempt to remove all references of Megan and to clear his name. Chris reveals Megan is the woman in the infamous fingering picture, and the month ends with Megan cutting off most of her ties with Chris. He also gets banned from his old church.

==April==
{{Main|April 2008}}

In April, the excitement of March faded away. Chris landed himself with a ban from The Game Place, but luckily for him it was only for 2-weeks. It is in April where Megan formally stops speaking with Chris.
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|On '''4 April 2008''', Chris gets a one month ban from the [[Game Place]].]]

==May==
{{Main|May 2008}}

Other than Chris's baptism at his new Church, nothing of note happened this month.

==June==
{{Main|June 2008}}

Chris gets himself permanently banned from The Game Place, but that doesn't mean we will see the end of Chris's adventures there. Chris also tries to give Megan a birthday present 6 weeks early.

==July==
{{Main|July 2008}}

Chris apologizes to Michael to no avail. Megan's birthday passes with no incident.

==August==
[[Image:RobertSimmonsCommic.jpg|thumb|On '''12 August 2008''', Chris announces an interview with [[Robert Simmons V]].]]
{{Main|August 2008}}

August can be seen as the month where it all began.

Chris makes his second public video, where he declares war against ED again. When the site is down, he celebrates victory, only for it to be relinquished when it goes back up. For the rest of the month he continues his search for a girlfriend and makes a few more videos. He starts chatting with Blanca and falls in love, getting her phone number in the process. He also catches up with Vivian Gee and draws more Sonichu episodes. Things were looking up for Chris.

==September==
{{Main|September 2008}}

September was another active month. Vivian tries to contact him, but Chris is busy with Blanca, and he's having a blast... right until Chris's first nudes were leaked, sent to a troll posing as Blanca. The nudes cause Chris to feel a lot of stress, but doesn't stop him from drawing more this month, and gets in contact with Shigeru Miyamoto over a new Sonichu game. Chris loses contact with someone close to him again, this time his half-brother Cole. The month ends with a video of Chris fapping being leaked, and Chris feeling a lot of love for Blanca.

==October==
[[Image:EDSign.jpg|thumb|Chris's lawn was trespassed on '''31 October 2008'''. The sign that was left would make a [[Sign Destruction Video|second appearance]] in [[September 2009]].]]
{{Main|October 2008}}

October was a calmer, more bittersweet month for Chris. Many more important details of his life were leaked, including his parents, more nudes, and a home DVD he created. Towards the final third of the month, Chris is struck with devastating news: Blanca was leaving him. He was heartbroken, but not for long as he makes regular videos only a few days afterwards. #sonichu also comes out.

==November==
{{Main|November 2008}}

November is where Chris's activity slowed down, a month similar to the first half of the year. Chris stays in good contact with PandaHalo, a formal website documenting Chris's life pops up, and Chris plays a fuck-ton of LBP.

==December==
{{Main|December 2008}}

In December, Chris talks a lot with his fans in several Q & A sessions on IRC, we learn about his fecal leakage, and he wins the Guitar Hero contest. Whatever trolling Chris went through this year was nothing compared to what he would have to face in [[2009]]
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|In '''December 2008''', Chris thanks us for helping him win.]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

Love Quest

2021-09-24T20:12:02Z

Har0 Har0: /* The End of the Love Quest */ title changed to The Final End

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]].<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref>}}
{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}
[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[File:Tumblr lg8dq2DmiR1qbc13do1 500.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression of Chris on his Love Quest. [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=144895676 Yes, the skin is downloadable.]]]
The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> was the longest real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. His goal was to obtain a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]]. The stated purpose of the Love Quest was to meet the woman who would be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. The Love Quest represented a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfilment, except of course improving himself.

While Chris maintained a belief in waiting for marriage to have sex due to [[Chris and religion|his religious principles]] (or at least waiting until fully committing to a romantic relationship [[Third date|after at least three dates]]), Chris started moving away from the idea of being faithful as he interacted with a number of fake sweethearts, down to wanting sex from [[Jackie]] first and foremost when he first starting communicating with her, and later being open to being in an open relationship where he could sleep with other people rather than a monogamous one. Because of this, Chris's antics are derisively referred to as the '''Fuck Quest'''.

For over a decade from [[2003]] to 2018, the Love Quest was ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. The nearest he had come was losing his virginity to [[Mia Hamm|a prostitute]], which happened out of Chris's fear that he could go to jail thanks to [[28 October 2011|the Michael Snyder incident]] (which ultimately did not happen). During early [[2018]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by [[Idea Guys|devious trolls]] into ending his Love Quest - he was told that he was [[Polyamorous_marriage|happily married]] to several of his fictional OCs.

==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]] (on whom he had a crush) during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and his enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman of any significance to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]"; Chris was surprised to learn that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli (who he didn't even know) and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his longing and envy by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] – this acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation (see the [[Love Quest#Megan Schroeder|"Megan" section below]]).

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest proper was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], which of course bears no resemblance to reality: when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he deigns to mention that it may have had something to do with belligerently slandering classmates and making racist remarks<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). At any rate, while waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, resenting that there was nobody to comfort him like there was at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]],<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women (at least, all the women he likes) have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be inferred that his initial approach was to walk up to women out of nowhere, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], which is unnecessary outside of some kind of [[Polyamorous marriage|polygamous arrangement]].

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' [[business card]].]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea [he] could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue about seeking true love, and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, whatever Chris may have to say about it.

Undaunted by Walsh, Chris simply made a new sign, but a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy; leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning the distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> Owing to repeated violation of campus policy, Walsh took Chris to her office to discuss the problem with him. In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, but Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend (according to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>).

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in his pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, he ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!". He apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall (again). Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and (probably in reaction to belligerent behavior) called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges for sexual solicitation, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He did not interpret this to mean he was banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June, after the first incident, Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. The Manajerk apparently attempted to discuss the situation with Chris:

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to [[JERKS|any Man other than myself]], because they all have [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none]].” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], unsurprisingly having been banned from Wal-Mart, Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering. Chris refused to leave at first, but when store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation. His account is so blatantly fantastic and biased that it's difficult to draw any conclusions about what actually happened; for five police officers to have subdued him he must presumably have been egregiously stubborn in dealing with them.

Indeed, in the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and this time [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded remotely by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him. In Chris's mind these key factors meant that Megan was already destined to be his [[sweetheart]], and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]; all of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and most damagingly Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it helped prevent him from doing "something really dumb and stupid"]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Chris' obsession with [[Encyclopaedia Dramatica]] was what led to the end of the friendship, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly was and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and ludicrously that Megan didn't understand what was going on in it. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008 until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this (although he thinks it's because they all already have boyfriends). At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing – a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up (or was simply banned from the CFS) and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==2014–2017==
Chris made numerous [[OKCupid]] profiles, and has successfully attracted a sweetheart though it – [[Catherine]]. Once her gig was up, Chris began to plumb the depths of derangement with [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|videos]] advertising himself to women of "any orientation", since as a [[Transgender|transwoman]], [[Chris and reality|Chris believes he now physically appeals to straight, bisexual, and lesbian women all at once]].

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris revealed images of his imaginary future wife, [[Lovely Weather]]. In September 2017, he [[September 2017 Facebook posts#Jessica Quinn = Lovely Weather|remarked]] that he had fulfilled his comic's prediction, following his entering into a relationship with his newest sweetheart, [[Jessica Quinn]]. However, this was not meant to be, as she broke up with him early in October 2017. He posted on Facebook a few weeks later saying that he did not need a significant other to define himself, hinting that he may have given up on his Love Quest, but only time will tell.

In January 2018, prompted by the ''CWCSonichu Prequel'' fancomic, Chris gave his thoughts on the Love Quest:<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Thoughts on the CWC Prequel comic]]</ref>

{{quote|I really worked too hard on something I should not have pushed too much on, the “Love Quest”... I Really should have focused more on Sonichu, his life and all of that. Instead, I did too much with myself.

I was more selfish back then. I really regret that I was. It has done a lot of damage to everyone around me.}}

==The Idea Guys and the end of Chris's Love Quest==
{{main|Idea Guys}}

During the Idea Guys saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspectives of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving the Love Quest include:

*Chris being brainwashed into thinking of himself as bisexual.
*Chris believing he's in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his imaginary friends.

Beginning in [[March 2018]], Chris's already weak grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] having been eroded further under the [[Idea Guys]]'s influence, he believed himself to be in a polyamorous marriage with [[Mewtwo]] and three of his own fictional characters.

By [[April 2018]], the Idea Guys had manipulated Chris into believing that he was bisexual. In April, Chris recorded [[Dick Licker; that is I]], a video of him giving his imaginary husband Magi-Chan a blowjob. Two weeks later, Chris flirted with [[Bryanfrogboy]] over the internet. He also began to kiss men on the cheek in public – fan [[Copitz]] in May and several attendees at the [[TooManyGames]] convention in June (leading him to be kicked out).

[[File:Wizkerzz.png|thumb|150px|Wizkerzz describes how Chris immediately declared he wasn't interested in dating her.]]

Chris belief in the polyamorous marriage was so strong that he told Wizkerzz – a female fan cosplaying as him – that he wasn't interested in dating her, and in [[July 2018]], he also rebuffed a [[ween|professed]] potential sweetheart: [[Miss Cherry]]. Showing no further interest in finding real-world [[china]] for himself, the Love Quest has come, if not to an underwhelming yet bizarre conclusion, at least to a long interlude not quite like anything before it in Christory. It seems that, in a sense, the real Love Quest was the friends that Chris made along the way – [[Imaginary friends|quite literally]].

That being said, even in this state, Chris occasionally indicated his disappointment in not finding a romantic partner that actually exists. [[February 2021 social media posts#Message to the faker and hater trolls|In one such post]], he once again blames the trolls for his inability to find a woman instead of making an effort to reach out to someone offline that doesn't involve waving a sign around or loitering on private property. With that post, Chris projected that he had a good Valentine's Day and that all the trolls were miserable when in actuality he spent it holed up in his house with his mother and pets, probably still depressed about his lot in life.

Additionally, while speaking with [[KwaiiSandbag calls|KwaiiSandbag]], Chris indicated that he was still lonely, and had considered one of the members of [[Praetor]] for a potential relationship, but put it off under the belief that Magi-chan would soon cross into [[Dimensions#1218|1218]]. It remains to be seen whether Chris will consider revamping his Love Quest again, or if he will continue to hold out for Magi-chan.

==The Final End of the Love Quest==
The true end of this saga was made clear near the end of June, the boyfriend-free girl he had searched for all these years [[Barb|had been hiding under his nose, and a pile of garbage this whole time]]. Though this end is not what Chris pictured, as the falling actions of this story likely involve him reliving the hour of [[Julie Reveals Herself]] day after day in prison.

==Promotional images==
Throughout the Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Any success they may have had is not evident.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LOVEQUEST
| ytid = MC-4GDBDa8A
| stardate = 20 [[May 2012]]
| maker = Spelling Bee
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LOVEQUEST 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NWA8iH_emEk}}
| stardate = 18 [[August 2015]]
| maker = Spelling Bee
| type = }}

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]