[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to....and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris' trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls''

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School Pedofile Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "Transformers Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "Daria", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris criticizing ''Equestria Girls''.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

2013

2013-05-26T10:50:20Z

Hasharin:

Chris and religion

2013-05-09T13:27:46Z

Hasharin: u

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11,<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref> on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris not understanding how professional help works<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Bob Chandler|hillbilly]] idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was; under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should0 work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Breaking all Ten Commandments===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either, despite [[Mumble 8|calling them all out by name before an audience of trolls.]]

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses. Also, it bears mentioning that he once erected a [[Megan Shrine|shrine for Megan.]]
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment. Furthermore, his borderline obsessive habit of [[Pok%C3%A9walker_of_Fail|altering]] [[PSP of Fail|everything]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|he]] [[Attraction Sign|owns]] [[Son-chu#Vanity_plate|with]] the likeness of himself and/or his character [[Sonichu]] may also be a violation, since he apparently reveres his own fictional character over his love of God.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath. Also, it's pretty unlikely that God would like Chris choosing a Sunday to engage in adulterous, pre-marital sex, which directly breaks one of His other Commandments (see "Thou shalt not commit adultery" below.)
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] [[Bob walks in|that]] [[Tomgirl|upset]] his parents. Recently, however, he clearly dishonored his ailing mother by getting her in [[28 October 2011|severe legal troubles]] over a matter that was his own fault, and due to the circumstances, she fared worse off than him (she faced two felony charges whereas Chris only faced one.)
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series. He came ''dangerously'' close in his in famous [[28 October 2011|run in with Michael Snyder]], where it was [[This is how the Trial went|revealed]] that he hit Snyder not once, but ''twice'' with his vehicle and attempted to flee afterwards instead of stopping.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': For a while, it seemed that Chris would have been following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]]. With the recent revelation that he may have lost his virginity in an apparent one night stand, though, it's pretty safe to say that this commandment has now been literally broken. Even if one is generous and says that this commandment only applies to infidelity, Chris still violated it because he attempted to cheat on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], and also tried to get [[Kacey]] to cheat on [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] with him.
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga. Some interpret this commandment as not being against falsehood in general, but against lies that hurt other people. However, even by this generous interpretation, Chris is a sinner because he has accused [[Michael Snyder]] of [[pedofork|child molestation]], something which could easily ruin his life if anybody believed him.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

==Chris and Forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and Blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In email from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as telling that he sometimes feels "emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, email reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding kinda pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by [[gal-pal]] and we can as yet speculate what is it).

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian churches===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a straw man fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

2013

2013-05-09T12:58:41Z

Hasharin:

2013

2013-05-09T12:50:20Z

Hasharin:

2011-11-09T19:22:31Z

Hasharin:

Should it be noted there are very enthusiastic copyright marks on this image? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 19:18, 7 November 2011 (PST)
:This is a developing event - it would be nice if we just sat back and observed the actions of the original uploader for a few hours before we start to revert/document things. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:25, 7 November 2011 (PST)

What's with the [http://sonichu.com/w/images/archive/d/d9/20111108022511%21HNI_0022.JPG furry drawing] uploaded by [[User:Christianchandler|Chris]] as a replacement? Is he trying to get rid of the... daresay... evidence? -[[User:Nobody|Nobody]] 23:05, 8 November 2011 (PST)

* I've been looking at these pictures Chris took and have to ask; would it be safe to assume he's taking these from inside his car? The drops of rain wouldn't be there unless they were ON something, and they wouldn't be in such a large quantity if they were on the 3DS (in fact, one would completely blur the picture). So; he's behind a glass surface at a lower than Mr.Snyder position; this leads me to the conclusion that he took it from the safety of his car. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 06:47, 9 November 2011 (PST)
** Well, I assume that Mike was following Chris and Barb when they were running away and tried to stop them for awhile before cops arrive , so, why the fuck he looks so calm in these pictures? Only in that photo taken inside GAMe PLACe he seems to be somewhat angered (?). But in these from the outdoors... It's just like he was posing for them. Strange. [[User:Hasharin|Hasharin]] 11:22, 9 November 2011 (PST)

User:Christianchandler

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'''[[Jackie]]:''' that doesnt make sense. why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
'''Chris:''' he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. I don't know. 
'''Jackie:''' thats not my understanding of how God works|From [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]].}}

{{quote|Notice how the lilies grow. They don’t wear themselves out with work, and they don’t spin cloth. But I say to you that even Solomon in all his splendor wasn’t dressed like one of these. If God dresses grass in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s thrown into the furnace, how much more will God do for you, you people of weak faith!| Bible (Luke 12:27-29) on Chris and his tugboat}}

[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his parents instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.

Currently, Chris receives $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of his social security on video games. The problem is his game systems; [[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]], are Japan based companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.

[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]

On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.

With the recent US economic downturn and debates over the debt limit, President Obama has [http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/178777/20110712/debt-deal-debt-ceiling-obama-social-security-republicans-democrats.htm directly threatened Social Security checks]. Chris is blissfully unaware of the looming threat to his way of life.

==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]] shine a light on the origin of the term:
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink.]] and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] [[Autism|thinking]]. :)|Chris, demonstrating mastery of metaphor, naval engineering, and analogy.}}

In one of the [[Jackie_Chat_7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

100 2357.MOV

2011-08-07T22:29:28Z

Hasharin:

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. Unsurprisingly, he has instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]] and making [[Little Big Planet]] mods. Chris would return to the Internet in full, complete with videos, roughly 8 months later.

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
}}

===Transcript===

Attention! [[George W. Bush|Read my lips!]]

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle_bra|bust]]. [[Chris_and_English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: [[Calling Out|NO MORE VIDEOS!]]

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

[[Gay|I'm out.]] ''[turns off the camera]''

==Fan videos====
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler leaves the real world
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VprlzHU8MvI&feature=related}}
}}
What he was really trying to say.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100_2278]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]