CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris's room (14 Branchland Court)

2015-02-13T22:58:23Z

Honeyrabbit:

[[Image:Panorama.jpg|A panoramic view of Chris's room.|thumb|center|666px]]
[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|There is no escape, YOUNG LADY.|thumb|200px]]

The dragon's lair. Before his house burned down, [[Chris]] spent most of his adult life in '''his room'''. Since being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], and the [[The Game Place|''Pokémon'' League]], he left his room regularly only for [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]], [[McDonald's]], [[Chris and money|shopping]] and, more recently, [[Fridays After Five]], with the [[Chris's Big Night Out|odd]] [[6 June 2010|notable]] [[28 October 2011|exception]].

==Overview==
[[Image:Chrischansroom15xt7.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A rough map of Chris's room.]]
[[File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Chris's room during high school]]
Chris's bedroom was on the second floor of [[14 Branchland Court|his house]], with two windows on the northwest wall and a smaller window (covered by [[The Wall of Originals]]) on the northeast wall. Based on Chris's [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]] of his house, his cluttered room was the cleanest room in the house, which may explain why so much of his time was spent there.

Chris's room — like most bedrooms — also summed up many of his awful habits and traits:
* His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the massive amounts of clutter.
* His incredible laziness, as evidenced by how much of said clutter was scattered haphazardly on the floor, bed and couch.
* In contrast, the careful and orderly arrangement of his [[electronic children's toys]], [[DVD]]s, [[trading cards]], posters, and [[toys]] shows how they rank on his list of priorities against things like [[Wendy's|work]], [[education]], [[gal-pals|human]] [[Sweetheart|relationships]], or [[Autism|personal development]].
* The [[Megan Shrine]], the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him, whom he cruelly drove away.
* The prevalence of [[Pokémon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], and other franchises aimed at kids — people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris.
* The majority of his possessions are toys or electronic children's toys — objects which [[Autism|perform predictably]] [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Materialism|within his absolute control]].
* He also shows extreme hoarding behavior that is commonly found in [[barb|the elderly]], [[Abusive babysitter|formerly abused children]] and the [[autistic]].
* The stench, not visible on video or photograph, can still be inferred from the many accounts of sweat, feces and rotten food left around. Not to mention his revealing statement to [[Ivy]] that one Glade air freshener was not enough for his room.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>
* Finally, Chris retreated to his room whenever he felt the slightest bit of [[stress]], refused to discard his detritus, and saw it as the gateway to his fantasy world of [[CWCville]]; it is safe to assume the toys which he claims to play with for two to three hours a day,<ref>[[Mailbag_25#In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day|Mailbag #25]]</ref> are like a physical extension of his own imaginary world that provide a sense of safety and comfort.

In [[February 2009]], [[Clyde Cash]] forced Chris to [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|clean up his room a bit]].

Besides Chris, only two other people have been seen venturing into the cesspool he calls his room: [[Bob Chandler]], as exposed in a [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|leaked video]]; and an [[Magical Man|unnamed individual]] appearing in the [[Magical Man Potion]] video. One animal, [[Kitty Chandler]], was shown in Chris's room in [[20 December 2009|another video]].

In 2015, Chris and [[Barb]] moved back into [[14 Branchland Court]], resuming his residence in what is presumably his old room. Whether or not Chris will transform this incarnation into a walk-in fire hazard remains to be seen, but given his [[Lego]] habit, it's safe to assume that he will.

==Images from the Pits of Hell==
These images are arranged beginning at the northeastern wall of the room, going counter-clockwise. Not included here are photographs of the southeastern wall and east corner.

==Recent Changes==
* The [[Tomgirl Pictures]], released on 29 [[April 2011]], seemed to indicate that the Wall of Originals was either removed or gone.
<center>
<gallery>
Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 1.jpg|[[April 2000]], as Chris was moving back in from [[Richmond]].
Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|Northeastern wall, near the north corner. [[The Wall of Originals|A sheet of his homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] is here. It was previously believed that this covered a window, but the new [[Tomgirl Pictures]] have shown that this is not the case.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|North corner
Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Northwestern wall near the north corner. The air conditioner on the left here can be seen in the upper left corner of the front of his house.
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|Northwestern wall near the west corner.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|West corner. The bookshelf on the right is the [[Megan shrine]].
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|Southwestern wall. The closet doors are behind the shelves of electronic children's toys. It's not clear how Chris can access the contents of the closet, assuming he ever does.
Image:0827-EP12-5P6-6.jpg|South corner. The door leads out of the room into the hallway. The [[Attraction Sign]] can be seen hanging on the back of the door. In [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], the portal leading to CWCville appears where the ''Dance Dance Revolution'' mat is hanging. To add the finishing touch of fail, there is a ''Bubsy'' game on the shelf.
Image:ECP 00090.jpg|Great view of the Wall of Originals.
Image:ECP 00084.jpg|Three bookshelves full of games.
Image:100 0836.JPG|Close-ups of the Desk of Fail.
Image:100 0834.JPG
Image:100 0833.JPG
Image:100 0832.JPG
Image:100 0831.JPG
File:100_2242.JPG
File:100_2243.JPG
File:100_2245.JPG
File:100_2246.JPG
File:100_2247.JPG
File:100_2248.JPG
File:100_2249.JPG
File:100_2250.JPG
File:100_2251.JPG
File:100_2252.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[14 Branchland Court]]
* [[Megan Shrine]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
==References==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Chris's house]]

Chris and music

2015-02-09T18:55:35Z

Honeyrabbit: /* Musical tastes */

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|This is obviously what music is all about.]]
[[File:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|thumb|[[Chris's Big Night Out|Sonichu's still rockin' in my head!]]]]

[[Chris]]'s taste in '''music''' is eclectic, confusing, and awe-inspiring. His favorite acts range from generic, early-2000's bubblegum pop, to '80s arena rock. Pretty much everything Chris says he's a fan of comes from ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', ''[[Rock Band]]'', his parents' record collection, or stuff he's heard from television and film. Even then, Chris can't remember [[Rebel Girl|lyrics]], [[Lovin' You|melodies]], or even [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the instruments used]] in his favorite songs.

==Musical tastes==
[[File:LeeclipsenueNegative.jpg|thumb|right|Chris is into noise music now?]]

Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|three]] [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|horrible]] [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|albums]] was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and is totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

Chris's favorite radio station is [[Wikipedia:WQMZ|WQMZ]] from [[Charlottesville]], which plays incredibly bland and inoffensive pop music (i.e. what you hear in a doctor's office or a department store too cheap to afford Muzak). The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for [[Tomgirl|women]]."<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on 95.1, and once won a set of tickets to a [[Greene County Conspiracy|sporting event]] through a call-in contest.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her (alleged) musical talent. In his date with [[Emily]], he claims to like Louis Armstrong in an effort to look like a [[Bob Chandler|sophisticated jazz-listener]].

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'', ''Rock Band'', or ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' game. This adds yet more [[Obesity|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3|electronic children's toys]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are unaware of (such as the non-Columbia ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' series or ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'') or would not enjoy (such as [[Red Skelton]], ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' or ''[[Gilligan's Island]]''), Chris has twice referenced [[Wikipedia:Billy Joel|Billy Joel]]'s upbeat 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated reggae-pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from [[Ryan Cash|killing themselves]]. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "a lot to live for" and told said fan to go listen to the song.

Chris has also expressed a fondness for the [[Wikipedia:Insane Clown Posse|Insane Clown Posse]], releasing [[Hello, Juffalo|two]] [[JuggaloShoutOut|videos]] in which he paints his face and talks about being a [[Wikipedia:Juggalo|Juggalo]]. Since fans of ICP are usually [[slow-in-the-minds|idiotic]], [[Chris and health|out-of-shape]], [[Ruckersville|white-trash]] dumbasses who believe themselves to be outcasts of society, it is easy to understand why becoming a Juggalo would appeal to Chris.

On 2 [[February 2015]], Chris revealed that he drew the artwork to the album ''Negative'' by L'eclipse Nue. L'eclipse Nue is an obscure harsh noise act, whose music largely consists of ear-piercing screeches and low rumbling sounds - not exactly in line with the tastes of our autistic hero. Given his [[26 December 2014|more]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|recent]] [[28 October 2011|activities]], one could assume that Chris has taken to a rebellious lifestyle that includes subjecting himself to what most people would consider [[Christian & The Hedgehog Boys|audio torture]]. However, the far more likely explanation is that Chris was contacted by the artist, who wanted to <s>piggyback off Chris's online infamy</s> give Chris a chance to shine during this low point in his life. Chris gave a brief review of the album, claiming that it reminded him of "Pinkie Pie playing a theramin [sic]", and stating that he could "sense the emotions and depressions expressed behind the music". Chris has almost certainly not listened to the album - he claims that the mere site of blue arms causes him to recede into crippling bouts of autistic sensory overload, but also claims that he could "sense the emotions" in this literal assault on the ears.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "[[Wikipedia:Can't Fight This Feeling|Can't Fight This Feeling]]". The [[100 2189|third time]] he announced his [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leaving from the internet]], he chose, of all songs, Colbie Caillat's "[[Wikipedia:Fallin' for You (Colbie Caillat song)|Fallin' for You]]" as background music--although this most likely was just him leaving blaring the radio in the background, as per usual.

In [[I Love You, Catherine|more]] [[To Mr. Smith|recent]] [[Brushfire Video|videos]], Chris has taken to playing sappy 1950s orchestral music in the background. This appears to be an attempt to garner sympathy given his recent difficulties in life, or it could just be yet another acquired taste from [[Borb|his parents]].

==Singing==

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how much of a terrible singer Chris is. It is similarly impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront Liquid via artistic competition, he himself nominated the [[SingStar Challenge]] (and, of course, lost spectacularly).

Despite claiming to have a "deep bass voice", Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, as well as the only album from [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]],.= he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song (as he never bothers to look up karaoke/instrumental-only versions of anything he sings). This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing "[[Sonichu Zip]]", a song that uses "Sonic Drive", the Japanese theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X''. The fast tempo and lyrics of "Sonic Drive" result in Chris rapidly dissolving into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech impediment|voice]] fluctuates in pitch with little to no regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. He barely manages to carry a tune on [[I Got A Fish]], though. If Chris could sing at all, his voice type would be at best a [[wikipedia:Tenor#Tenor_buffo_or_Spieltenor|spieltenor]] (used for comical roles) pushing towards [[wikipedia:countertenor|countertenor]], a pitch range octaves above the bass range he claims to have, and a tessitura (note range) too high for many ''[[Gal-Pals|women]]''.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with tempo and entries. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often pushes ahead or pulls back from the tempo of the song. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do. Because of this attitude towards practicing, he's also terrible at remembering the actual words to the song he's singing. The only part he tends to know is the chorus of the song, likely because the repetition makes it the only part of the song he pays attention to. This doesn't stop him from attempting to make up his own lyrics, although this almost invariably consists of mumbled incoherent nonsense until the chorus occurs again.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what one can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 28-year-old man (who looks like he's 45) showing us his ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" by Europe while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]], and an equally-as-awful version of Q Lazzarus's "Goodbye Horses" while [[It's not that cold|pretending to dig up his dead dog and wear it as a coat]]. And let's not forget "[[Lovin' You]]", where he attempts to do a capella, but thanks to a sheer lack of practice, simply ends up massacring a Minnie Riperton classic by singing it completely out of tune.

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video, which Chris vehemently claimed was a violation of the rules regarding backing tracks. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[Liquid Chris|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa Contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result can best be described as sounding like a drunk Muppet being startled every 30 seconds; Chris slurring his words together constantly and periodically yelling lyrics for no reason.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't So give me the PSP, Unwrap the wrapper So I can give one to her, And then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This, however, was nothing compared to a [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy! And you still chicken, you's a dang coward! You wanna come fight me? Come fight me in person Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse's side-project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper to unconvincing effect. During a portion of the video he simply mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related glam rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who would rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs.

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|**clickclickclick**. It's like I'm playing real guitar, y'all!]]

[[Image:295.jpg|thumb|The [only] other musical instrument Chris is good at.]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit.|[[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in several videos, Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|"creations"]] are [[Things Chris has ripped off|copies of other things]], yet are still [[Chris and copyright|somehow completely original]]. So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his autistic mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song, which necessitates a legitimate instrument on which to play it.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{quote|I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old Wooden Nickel; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.|Chris, [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|blowing the minds of guitarists of all talent levels]]}}

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.|Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

It is also telling that not only does Chris lack any sense of pitch in singing, but with melodies in general. This is evidenced in the [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_1|Wedding Anniversary Special]], where he claims to be playing the original theme to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], but ends up with some wildly unrecognizable tune that only vaguely resembles the Sonic theme rhythmically. This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chris is actually tone-deaf, instead of simply lacking in vocal skills. This may be a symptom of autism, as subtleties in tone and intonation indicating emotional and social cues are beyond his grasp, which in turn would affect recognition of pitch changes in music.

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV, and the most expensive speakers his [[tugboat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that [[Chris and his ego|everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone]], just like his art.
* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover.
* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect...[[The Simpsons|d'oh]], who are we kidding?

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free, many of which come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Music]]

Chris's birthday

2015-01-28T14:19:14Z

Honeyrabbit: /* 33rd */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|[[Homos|Chris blows.]]]]

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30.}}
[[File:175-SchuBday.jpg|thumb|Best wishes from Sonichu.]]
'''[[Chris]]'s birthday''', 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for [[Chris and his Ego|obvious reasons]]. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]

===17th===
Chris received a Pro 200<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF1n1AxK1Dg]</ref> handheld game console, and was photographed looking visibly disappointed while holding it. He also drew "[[:File:086-BionicFlag.jpg|Bionic Over Autism]]", which would later be included in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and created [[Espanolic]], which would later be seen on his [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover project]] for school.

===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a [[Video games|Sega Dreamcast]]. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children—composed of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some [[Friend zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]] as guests. No strip clubs, no booze, no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "[[My big 18th party]]".

Years later, when asked by [[Kacey]] what did he do with his high school friends, Chris could not recall meeting them outside of school at any instance other than his 18th birthday.<ref>[[Kacey Call 20]]</ref> Likewise, a former Manchester High alumni who attended this birthday cannot recall any other instance in which she and the rest of Chris's high school friends ever hung out with him outside of school.<ref name>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking]]</ref>

===[[Alcohol|21st]]===
[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|And now the worst...]]
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this was probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[Chris and English|English]] class by his professor. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]]—Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]].

===23rd===
Chris documented this birthday in an issue of [[News_Dash#Chris.27s_23rd_Birthday|''Sonichu's News Dash'']]. It took place at the mall and was attended by his parents, as well as "a couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her religion." He was treated like a child and loved every second of it.

The gal-pal who is "undatable, due to her religion" is most likely [[Anna]]. Chris has met her prior to his 23rd birthday<ref>As can be inferred from the fact that [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]] was published on 5 [[2005#February |February 2005]], prior to Chris's birthday.</ref> and he likewise describes Mormons like Anna as undatable.<ref>[[MySpace messages#Jalena]]</ref>

===25th===
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris's 25th birthday and [[DVD]] launch party.]]
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|IMPORTANT MESSAGE]], inspiring girls, boys, and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.

===26th===
It's unknown what Chris did for his birthday on February 24 [[2008]], although a week later [[Megan]] wrote to him saying ''"Yeah that [[internet]] thing is getting very much out of hand and would like to ask if you could please take down or remove anything that has to do with me from any of your websites. I don't want to appear on those sites as well."'' A while later she discovered that [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] was meant to be a picture of her.

===27th===
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]] instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|Mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]].

===28th===
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|called in and congratulated him]], being the all-around nice guy that he is. Chris [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Hey.2C_Vivian_.E2.80.94_11_February|had been saving $100]] to pay for a prostitute as a birthday present for himself, but he ultimately abandoned that idea after [[The Wallflower]] became his friend and he assumed he would be allowed to have sex with her for free.

===29th===
The events were unknown due to his hiatus from [[the Internet]], but somewhere around this time is when Chris began to [[Tomgirl Pictures|embrace his feminine side]].

* '''''Sonichu'' Canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

===30th===
[[Image:30_year_old_virgin.png|thumb|A must-see!]]
Chris entered his fourth decade in [[2012]]. The [[28 October 2011]] crimes still cast a shadow. Being the affluent [[Sony]] fanboy that he is, Chris bought himself a [[PS Vita]] and a copy of Asphalt Injection (a critically panned racing title).

Leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that Chris was not looking forward to this birthday. On 30 January he expressed his frustrations about soon becoming a 30 year old virgin, and a little more than a week later Chris announced on 11 February that he had no plans for his birthday.

===31st===
[[Trolling]] was on Chris's mind on this birthday: he watched the slasher film about trolls ''[[Wikipedia:Smiley (2012 film)|Smiley]]'' two days before, and the day after his birthday he called out [[My Little Pony|Tara Strong]] for "promoting [[troll]]ing".

===32nd===
Chris and his mother were staying in their [[Rental House|temporary house]] while [[14 Branchland Court|his home]] was undergoing repairs after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fiery destruction]]. Chris was recovering from bronchitis. It was a quiet birthday. He worked on his [[LEGO]] [[high school]], watched the Back to the Future movies, and got some free ice cream at IHOP.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Birthday]]</ref>

===33rd===
It's very possible Chris will be spending his birthday in jail this year, due to the events of [[December 2014]]. Chris took to [[Facebook]], asking for a "very much required" $300 Lego set, along with ''two'' $70 Bikini Bottom sets - because he wants to make use of one piece from each set. His given motive is that he "may reconsider [his] feelings upon the lot of you" (note that the condition is that he ''may'' reconsider his feelings - it's not guaranteed, but you'll have to send him $400 in Lego blocks to find out). Experts believe with relative certainty that Chris will not receive the gifts he asked for.

==Birthday Gallery: Witness the Evolution==
<center><gallery>
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|Age 5: Cute kid, right?
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Age 14.
Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|Age 17.
Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|Age 18.
Image:0583-CWC19-2.jpg|Age 19.
Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|Age 20.
Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|Age 21.
Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|Age 22.
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|Age 23.
Image:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg|Age 24.
Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|Age 25.
Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|Age 26: Cute kid, right?
File:Chris27a.PNG|Age 27.<ref>[[Ode to Julie]]</ref>
File:Chris27.PNG|Age 28.<ref>[[Christian Love Day (video)]]</ref>
File:TG9.jpg|Age 29.
File:1328397527051.jpg|Age 30.
File:Chris march2013.jpg|Age 31.
File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|Age 32.
</gallery></center>

=="Christian Love Day"==
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally TRUE and HONEST, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all).]]
Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Chris and his Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by [[Homos|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he "feels like" it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Chris and reality|he wills it]] and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond [[Christian Love Day|one lone video]].

In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he [[Chris and reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==References==
<references/>
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

CWC's Sonichu Site!

2015-01-01T01:14:03Z

Honeyrabbit: this part was factually inaccurate and said that chris himself set up spergweb - rewrote it a bit

[[File:Scom.PNG|thumb|250px|Bright gaudy background colors seem to be mandatory on vanity pages.]]

'''CWC's Sonichu Site!''' (full title: '''The Official & The Originial '''''[sic]'' '''From Christian Weston Chandler the Sonichu and Rosechu Site!''') was Chris's homepage for the [[Sonichu]] franchise. It existed in various incarnations from [[2000]] to [[August 2009]], and was a regular target of hacking by trolls following Chris's discovery in 2007. Half a decade later, Chris's Facebook friends helped him make a new site, which was pretty much nonfunctional and error-ridden during its astonishing 10-day life.

== Design and content ==

Chris liked to harp on how he took two HTML classes and likes to construct his page on [[Wikipedia:Netscape Composer|Netscape Composer]], a mercifully discontinued software product. It is fairly obvious that either the HTML classes didn't teach good web design principles, or Chris slept through those sections.

The main hub of the Sonichu site was the front page. Chris dumped everything on the front page, all of the content centered. Chris also added things to the page in random places with little thought as to where they would go, and didn't really have the time and energy to update the page. In its later incarnations, the page had mentions of ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' material, Chris's changes to the comic, and had "[[Copyright]] CWC and [[Nintendo]]", long after the end of the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

Chris's site also boasted that it was a member of the "Super [[Sonic]] Webring"; closer inspection reveals that Chris's site is not listed as a member of the webring, and Chris failed to insert the correct codes (i.e., he failed to put in his member ID, leaving "_SITE_ID_HERE_" in the links) — this simple failure to follow very simple setup instructions may have been why he was not approved as a member, as Webring owners usually checked this. His Fastcounter link is also broken. In its earliest incarnations Chris had a MIDI playing in the background, just to get that old Web 1.0 feel.

=== Sonichu-Fans (2008) ===

'''Sonichu-Fans''' was a small sub-site of Sonichu.net, created by [[PandaHalo]], and meant for use by Chris's [[fans]]. Most of the site's features were never really created. Its most notable feature was "Sonichu fan chat", a Java [[IRC]] applet that connected to [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|Rizon's #sonichu channel]]. In the days following its introduction, Chris appeared in the fan chat in person a few times.
=== Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack (early 2009 - May 2009) ===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack}}

After the nuclear winter following the release of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris made a solemn promise not to release any more naughty imagery. Naturally, he had to break this vow when he found out about the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum and wanted to impress the members.

== Hosting history ==
=== Primordial origins (August 2000 - 2007) ===
The original incarnation of the Sonichu Site was hosted on the near-legendary free host for crappy personal web pages, [[Wikipedia:Tripod.com|Tripod]], at <nowiki>http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm</nowiki> (http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm). As the site was launched back when it was not yet a crime to violate aesthetics and common sense in web design, Chris's page blended right in. Before this, [[CWC's Pokésite 1]] and [[CWC's Pokésite 2]] were hosted on AcmeCity (go.com), another popular host for ineptly cobbled-together personal pages.

Chris even reminisces about his "Sonichu Site Filing Facility Hosted by Tripod" in [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]] — not that it makes any frigging sense. It is probably just some sort of a comic-page manifestation of a psychotic break. He even calls this "burning the Tripod bridge". The fact that trolls hacked the site must have been particularly traumatizing to Chris.

In the comic, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] defeats some devil [[trolls]], moves his files away from Tripod and bombs the crap out of the site, then says "Tripod was weak, in security, and it lacked the support for Flash media, anyway". In truth, Chris's site was hacked entirely due to his weak passwords and sloppy security practices (for example, in security questions, he has put in answers that could be looked up from the web; everyone knows his [[Mary Poppins|favorite film]]). And fascinatingly enough, [[CWCipedia]] doesn't support [[Wikipedia:Flash animation|Flash]] either — otherwise, we'd be thrilled to see what kind of craziness his two HTML classes could inspire him to create in Flash.

=== [http://sonichu.net sonichu.net] (2007 - January 2009) ===

Established in [[2007]] sometime after trolls registered [[sonichu.com]] (in Christian's words, "nothing but net."). Was hacked at least twice (read: Chris gave out his passwords). Sonichu.net was hacked in [[January 2009]] by [[Gregg Mays]], prompting Chris to show his [[fangs]]. The domain was sold on [[eBay]] and is currently used to host a [[parody]] CWCville homepage. In February 2010, it became a redirect to Meatspin.

=== [http://www.sonichu.info sonichu.info] (January 2009) ===

Quickly established in [[January 2009]] to replace sonichu.net, and just as quickly hacked. The site now redirects to [http://www.sonichu.110mb.com sonichu.110mb.com]. When the man takes you away, do not resist.

=== [http://www.sonichuandrosechu.com sonichuandrosechu.com] (Early 2009 - August 2009) ===

After a hiatus Chris finally relaunched his site here. It lasted a little longer until he gave his password to [[Julie]] with predictable results. This incarnation is most notable for seeing the debut of Chris's official Rule 34 section, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]. As of [[October 2014|October]], the site is now a redirect to other websites.

=== [http://www.cwcville.com cwcville.com] (April 2009 - May 2009) ===

After another hiatus, Chris relaunched his site at this new domain on 9 [[April 2009]]. Since Chris doesn't know how to manage the mess of links he has created, some remain broken such as the one to [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], so you'd have to change the domain name to visit it. Da major update he made to this site was to paste his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|autobiography]] after it got deleted from [[Wikipedia]].

On 15 [[May 2009]] it was hacked yet again, and featured [[Homos|gay pride]] imagery and a message that demanded the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. This was later replaced with images of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Vanessa Hudgens]], some of the pictures suggesting that they have some sort of a [[sweethearts|relationship]].

== The Ill-Fated Return ==
=== [http://www.spergweb.com/SonichuOnline/ spergweb.com/SonichuOnline] (November 2014) ===
On 20 [[November 2014]], Chris's Facebook friend and white knight extraordinaire Kenneth Englehart (colloquially known among Christorians as Kengle) created a website on which Chris might dump his ramblings about [[Sonic Boom|blue arms]]. While this motive may at first seem in line with those of Chris's trolls - motivating Chris to produce new content remains a unanimous goal among them - Kengle's reasoning for setting up the site is rather more unusual. As a '''56-year-old man living with his parents''', Kengle's primary goal in life is/was to befriend Chris by giving him a safe-space to rage about blue arms while routinely kissing his bulbous ass. At the time of its creation, the site was barely functional, and drenched in the amateurish 90s HTML stylings that only an unemployed 56-year-old autist worshipping an uneployed 32-year-old autist could achieve. At least one page was created (http://www.spergweb.com/SonichuOnline/Profiles%20and%20Biography.html) which was Chris's partial biography page directly copied from his [[Chris's_Wikipedia_profile|Wikipedia profile]]. Links suggested that the site would contain Sonichu character profiles, the comics themselves and other classic Chris content. Note that although the site was meant to be about the lore of [[Sonichu]], Ken only ever bothered to make the vanity page about Chris himself.

The site also contained a forum with very strict moderation - some users from the [[CWCki Forums]] made accounts with which to dick around and post inanities, but many users found that the site had ceased to exist before they had their accounts verified. Presumably, Ken intended to coerce [[Chris|the big mangirlpig himself]] into posting, but of course it never happened.

The page received DDoS attacks from [[ween]]s almost immediately after creation, and it later began providing the user with a 404 error. Kenneth had inexplicably hosted the site on the domain "[[Asperger's syndrome|sperg]]web.com". It is not clear why Ken chose this domain to host a site for Chris, the [[Autism Tutorial|notorious Aspergers hater]], or even why he would own it at all. Chris expressed a general distrust of the site, in part due to the domain name. One of Chris's faux-friends at the ass-patting festival that is/was the Keep Sonic Original Facebook group stated that it was being "redesigned".

As of 29 November, the website now redirects to a generic "This domain is available for sale" screen, indicating the website has now been shut down permanently. Kengle confirmed this on his Facebook, claiming that he has "other things going on in life", what with his stamp collecting and all. It's more likely that Kengle saw Chris's complaint about the site as some kind of threat to their potential friendship and immediately nuked the site, so as not to offend Great Director Chandler. This makes Spergweb the most short-lived website Chris (not counting his Facebook friends) has ever technically owned, lasting a mere 10 days on the web. If anything, it's probably the most short-lived website in the history of computing.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|Banner
Image:193-soniclgo.jpg
Image:194-SchuSteLgoIdea2.jpg
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg
Image:196-Schulgo.jpg
Image:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg
Image:198-cwctop50.jpg
</gallery>

== See also ==
* [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]
* [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
* [[CWCki|Sonichu.com]]
* [[Chris and the Internet]]
== External links ==
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/ An archived of version of the original Sonichu site in all of its homely autistic glory]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

GameSpot Assault

2014-12-28T03:01:08Z

Honeyrabbit:

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short clip captured by a Tumblr user in which Chris, sporting full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any pity points he may have earned among [[white knights]] by breaking three seperate laws in one visit to his local GameStop. Captured on December 27th, 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkops|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris pepper-sprays an innocent employee, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognised him as the Chris-chan they know and previously refused to tolerate.

[[File:Chris chan dec 2014.png|thumb|Demonstrating his calm and collected demeanor in the face of adversity, Chris blows a raspberry at the camera.]] True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris is dressed like a rainbow of fail - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favourite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Spray and Aftermath==
According to a troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing potentially a financially destabilizing year in 2015.

==Transcript==

 '''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]
 ''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers.''
 ''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace.''
 '''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! ''mouths "what the fuck"''

==References==
<references />

File:Chris chan dec 2014.png

2014-12-28T02:57:55Z

Honeyrabbit: Chris as he appears in the GameStop assault clip.

Chris as he appears in the GameStop assault clip.

GameSpot Assault

2014-12-28T02:55:47Z

Honeyrabbit:

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short clip captured by a Tumblr user in which Chris, sporting full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any pity points he may have earned among [[white knights]] by breaking three seperate laws in one visit to his local GameStop. Captured on December 27th, 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkops|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris pepper-sprays an innocent employee, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognised him as the Chris-chan they know and previously refused to tolerate.

True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris is dressed like a rainbow of fail - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favourite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Spray and Aftermath==
According to a troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing potentially a financially destabilizing year in 2015.

==Transcript==

*'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]
*''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers.''
*''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace''
*'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! ''mouths "what the fuck"''

==References==
<references />

GameSpot Assault

2014-12-28T02:54:34Z

Honeyrabbit: more detailed rewrite

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short clip captured by a Tumblr user in which Chris, sporting full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any pity points he may have earned among [[white knights]] by breaking three seperate laws in one visit to his local GameStop. Captured on December 27th, 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkops|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris pepper-sprays an innocent employee, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognised him as the Chris-chan they know and previously refused to tolerate.

True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris is dressed like a rainbow of fail - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favourite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Spray and Aftermath==
According to a troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing potentially a financially destabilizing year in 2015.

==Transcript==

*'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody]]
*''Chris sashays out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers''
*''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee''
*'''Employee''':Whoa. Hey!

==References==
<references />

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-28T02:19:36Z

Honeyrabbit:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14 Branchland Court]] while the second part features Chris (then age 22) opening some presents with [[Bob]] (77) and [[Barb]] (63). One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love Quest]] and not the holiday. Also noteworthy is Bob and Barb's demeanor - they sound outright ''depressed'' here, almost as if it dawned on them that this is how their adult son is behaving, and will continue to behave for the rest of his life.

Chris's choice of gifts is particularly unusual - Chris takes great pride in presenting his mother with the iconic snowglobe of fail and a Hamtaro toy (the toy is broken, as it was apparently the last one in the store). For his father, Chris offers a "choice" between ''Fraggle Rock'' on VHS, or ''Fraggle Rock'' on DVD. Why Chris believes that a 77-year-old world music collector would be particularly interested in a live-action puppet show aimed at children is not made clear. Note that Bob's "choice" here means very little - Bob decides on the DVD, but ultimately accepts the VHS after some pressure from Chris, suggesting that Chris intends to keep the DVD version for himself.

This video is also one of the rare glimpses we've seen of the Chandler's living room in its less cluttered state.

These videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 ''(A TV in the background can be heard playing [[Wikipedia:A Christmas Story|A Christmas Story]].)
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the rest of the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a SpongeBob SquarePants action figure)''
 SpongeBob SquarePants! ''(Chris poorly imitates SpongeBob's laugh)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Game Boy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wondrous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' it'll come, Christian, "hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-28T02:15:36Z

Honeyrabbit:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14 Branchland Court]] while the second part features Chris (then age 22) opening some presents with [[Bob]] (77) and [[Barb]] (63). One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love Quest]] and not the holiday. Also noteworthy is Bob and Barb's demeanor - they sound outright ''depressed'' here, almost as if it dawned on them that this is how their adult son is behaving, and will continue to behave for the rest of his life.

Chris's choice of gifts is particularly unusual; for his mother, the iconic snowglobe of fail and a Hamtaro toy, and for his father a "choice" between ''Fraggle Rock'' on either VHS or DVD (note that Bob's "choice" here means very little - Bob decides on the DVD, but ultimately accepts the VHS after some pressure from Chris, suggesting that Chris intends to keep the DVD version for himself).

This video is also one of the rare glimpses we've seen of the Chandler's living room in its less cluttered state.

These videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 ''(A TV in the background can be heard playing [[Wikipedia:A Christmas Story|A Christmas Story]].)
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the rest of the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a SpongeBob SquarePants action figure)''
 SpongeBob SquarePants! ''(Chris poorly imitates SpongeBob's laugh)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Game Boy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wondrous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' it'll come, Christian, "hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Template:Da update

2014-12-28T02:11:27Z

Honeyrabbit:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 28 December - Chris is recorded as he disregards one of his many [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris|bans]] in order to deface the Sonic Boom display at the [[Fashion Square]] [[Gamestop]], assaulting an innocent [[JERK|employee]] with pepper spray as he leaves.
* 25 [[December 2014|December]] - [[Christmas]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|A second video from Christmas 2004]] is leaked.
* 22 December - Chris awards his Facebook friends for helping him get through the year (supposedly) by giving them a picture of [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]]ified Lego [[Wild Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu]] himself.
* 21 December - Chris announces 14 Branchland Court will not be ready to move back into by [[C-Mas]]. He posts links to give him presents, gift cards, or PayPal money--and '''even gives suggestions for joke presents.''' He also ''begs'' his Facebook friends to buy the car from [[Craigslist]].
* 20 December - Chris reposts a message from flash animator HotDiggedyDemon (despite, prior to favoriting it, him criticizing his parodies of ''Sonic'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'') on Facebook--said message is some really good advice Chris could use himself.
* 18 December - Chris [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Meme_Run|posts a long opinion piece on why he hates trolls and the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'']]. Meanwhile, it was leaked on the CWCki Forums that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had [[Catherine_E-mails#The_Gal_Pals_Weren.27t_the_First_Time_Bob_Hired_Friends_for_Chris|hired gal-pals for Chris]]. It was also leaked that [[Anna McLerran]] [[Anna_McLerran#Anti-troll_plea_to_Catie|was trying to dislodge Catherine and she would appeal for Catherine's humanity.]]
* 17 December - [[Apology Letters‎|Three apology letters]] that Chris wrote to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] in August are leaked. Also leaked is a never-before-seen [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Christmas video]] filmed in 2004.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2014-12-28T02:08:46Z

Honeyrabbit:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 28 December - Chris is recorded as he disregards one of his many [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris|bans]] in order to deface the Sonic Boom display at the [[Fashion Square]] [[Gamestop]], committing assault on an [[JERK|employee]] as he leaves.
* 25 [[December 2014|December]] - [[Christmas]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|A second video from Christmas 2004]] is leaked.
* 22 December - Chris awards his Facebook friends for helping him get through the year (supposedly) by giving them a picture of [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]]ified Lego [[Wild Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu]] himself.
* 21 December - Chris announces 14 Branchland Court will not be ready to move back into by [[C-Mas]]. He posts links to give him presents, gift cards, or PayPal money--and '''even gives suggestions for joke presents.''' He also ''begs'' his Facebook friends to buy the car from [[Craigslist]].
* 20 December - Chris reposts a message from flash animator HotDiggedyDemon (despite, prior to favoriting it, him criticizing his parodies of ''Sonic'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'') on Facebook--said message is some really good advice Chris could use himself.
* 18 December - Chris [[December_2014_Facebook_Posts#Meme_Run|posts a long opinion piece on why he hates trolls and the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'']]. Meanwhile, it was leaked on the CWCki Forums that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had [[Catherine_E-mails#The_Gal_Pals_Weren.27t_the_First_Time_Bob_Hired_Friends_for_Chris|hired gal-pals for Chris]]. It was also leaked that [[Anna McLerran]] [[Anna_McLerran#Anti-troll_plea_to_Catie|was trying to dislodge Catherine and she would appeal for Catherine's humanity.]]
* 17 December - [[Apology Letters‎|Three apology letters]] that Chris wrote to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] in August are leaked. Also leaked is a never-before-seen [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Christmas video]] filmed in 2004.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>