CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and television

2025-12-22T21:37:01Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* Taste in TV */

{{Dated|television's general role in Chris's [[Dimensional Merge]] fantasies, and other TV shows Chris got into during the 2020s}}
{{Needs Updating|[[The Place chats (October 2020)#Tea Parties and Musicals]]}}
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Sonichu]], coming soon on ''[[Family Guy]]''.]]
{{Quote|I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!|Chris, being surprisingly [[TRUE and HONEST]].<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

'''Television''' is a widely-used telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images. It is a staple in almost all North American homes, as well as many other homes throughout the world. It's also one of the favorite pastimes of our [[Chris|mutual friend]]. Indeed, when not "[[Fridays After Five|social]][[Impulse Gay Social-Club|izing]]", [[recycling]], playing [[video games]] or ranting about [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arms]], it's a fairly safe bet Chris is sitting down and watching TV. [[Chris and health|Lots and lots of TV]].

Chris gets most of his information concerning the outside world through the television, among other entertainment media. This leads to blatantly ripping off concepts and characters from whatever he watches.

==Interpretation of media==

Chris is prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [https://web.archive.org/web/20111111064331/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "{{w|Goobacks}}", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, [[Autism|took everything at face value]] and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''{{w|Red Dawn}}''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights. Interestingly, Chris does not have this same misconception when it comes to live-action media. He's explicitly stated that ''Seinfeld'' characters aren't real and justified his like of the ''[[Saw]]'' series by saying that the violence is all made up.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons".<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "{{w|Best Friends Forever (South Park)|Best Friends Forever}}", where, after a satire of the {{w|Terri Schiavo}} controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

===Dimensional Merge===
{{Incomplete}}

== Taste in TV ==
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|A [[Ghostbusters|"classic" children's show]].]]
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|Chris enjoys [[Gilligan's Island|ancient sitcoms]] thanks to his parents.]]

Chris is a fan of ''South Park'' and almost all of Seth McFarlane's creations (''[[Family Guy]]'', [[Wikipedia:American Dad!|''American Dad!'']], ''[[The Cleveland Show]]''). He bought [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|tons of their episodes]] via the [[PlayStation Network]], for a sizable amount of [[money]]. [[Adult Swim]] is another big favorite of our autistic hero, and he even entered [[Harvey Birdman commercial|one of their contests]] and [[Adult Swim posts#Chris on his Harvey Birdman contest entry (April 2005)|raged when he didn't win]]. He later got into ''F is For Family'', a Netflix original created by Bill Burr.

[[Anime]] is another area where Chris's choices are very transparent. Among some of his favorites over the years include ''{{w|Shuffle!}}'' (essentially a tale of a somewhat unlikable guy [[Women's rights|suddenly being accosted by several obedient and attractive females]]), ''{{w|Gunslinger Girl}}'' (which is about [[Pedofork|little girls]] trained to [[Sandy Rosechu|become assassins]]), and ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (while generally regarded favorably, is chock-full of in-jokes and [[parody]], things that Chris can't understand but is eager to copy).

Certain bizarre choices do stick out, however. ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' has been [[CWCFlyingElephants|brought up]] or '[[Merried Seinor Comic|referenced]]' several times, along with [[Some Favored Comedians|comedian]] [[Red Skelton]], and ''[[I Love Lucy]]''. The former feature's absurdity probably piqued Chris's interest, while the final two are probably an offshoot of [[Borb|his decrepit parents]].

Chris is a fan of [[The Place chats (October 2020)#Tea Parties and Musicals|movie musicals]], and that his top 3 are ''On the Town'', ''Singin' in the Rain'', and ''Meet Me in St. Louis''. In the same conversation, he described ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', another movie musical, as his favorite film.

Chris seems to have also watched a fair bit of Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon in the late 1990s and early 2000s, making references to ''[[KCWC_broadcast|Cousin Skeeter]]'', ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Ed.2C_Edd_n_Eddy|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'', and ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#The_Powerpuff_Girls|The Powerpuff]] [[Tomgirl_Saga|Girls]]'', among others. Many of these shows have gained significant cult followings, but were made for kids much younger than Chris was at the time. [[Pokemon|Seeing]] [[Transformers|his]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|other]] [[Lego|interests]], though, it's not that surprising that he was watching shows designed for elementary schoolers when he was in high school and college.

Chris has also shown an occasional preference for some horror movies, including the film adaption of ''Silent Hill'', and the ''[[Saw]]'' series, which although rarely mentioned by Chris could be viewed as an inspiration for the events of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the [[Asperpedia Four]] were executed via elaborate death traps...well, elaborate by [[Autism|Chris's]] [[Chris and reality|standards]].

If [[:File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|this picture]] is clear, Chris likely uses Hulu to watch all the shows he can't on Netflix. Chris also uses Disney+.<ref>[[The Place chats (December 2019)#Priorities]]</ref><ref>[[The Place chats (December 2020)#The Avatar State]]</ref>

Mods Chris uploaded to ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' indicates he's a fan of ''{{w|Drawn Together}}'', for [[Mass debating|obvious reasons]].

He copied a scene from ''Beavis and Butthead'' in an issue of ''Sonichu''.
{{-}}

== Netflix ==
{{main|Netflix}}

Chris has used Netflix to satisfy his watching needs instantaneously, enabling him to reach a near-comatose state of mental saturation. Put in more practical terms, he spent more than ''6 hours'' watching ''{{w|Keeping Up Appearances}}'' and ''[[South Park]]'' in a single day. Twice. In terms of averages, Chris watches roughly 3 hours of television a day, at least for the week viewed.<ref>[[Netflix#Queues on 21 November 2009]]</ref>

The huge selection and 'Instant Watch' feature, combined with Chris's need to whack, has led to some interesting choices in film. To date, he has rented ''{{w|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy}}'', ''Story of O'', ''[[Virgin]]'', and many more titles with sexual names and/or posters. Considering Netflix doesn't deal in porn, he's wasting his time. Other than these porno hunts and impulse rentals, Chris is pretty much interested in only two types of three types of programs; adult cartoons, British sitcoms, and comedy, displaying a remarkably narrow range of interests. The only movie that really stands out in his selections is ''[[Vamprosa|Twilight]]''.

Netflix has also allowed him easier access to the cartoons of his childhood, ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' being the most prominent. The apparent binge of ''Transformers''-related television may have been the "[[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]]" behind [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

Beginning in the second half of the 2010's, Netflix also began investing in anime for original content. Of all these, Chris spent ''a single day'' in early [[July 2020]] binge-watching ''BNA: Brand New Animal'', merely stating on his social media it's "a very good anime"<ref>[[July_2020_social_media_posts#Animu]]</ref>. Given that it's a flashy action-packed anime consisting of [[Chris and sex#Is Chris a furry?|humanoid animals]], [[Sonichu (character)|overpowered protagonists]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|moralizing lectures]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|a villainous conspiracy]] and [[Sonichu 10#Curing Da Homos|the heroine's blood being used for a vaccine to cure the populace]] (many of which should sound familiar to anyone on this wiki), that Chris would find it enjoyable is unsurprising.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan the Sitcom
| ytid = ViA0Xv9OwUc
| Stardate = 27 [[April 2010]]
| Maker = MycalFelps
| Subject = {{Television|text}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Fandoms]]
*[[Netflix]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{TV}}

Dungeons and Dragons

2025-12-22T20:15:18Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{quote|I am making good progress on my D&D Sheet. Also, on average, a Sonichu or Rosechu can run about 765 mph, and I did the math to figure out how that translates into feet per Breath. We and Sonic can [[Sonichu's Edge|dash over 3,700 feet in a single breath]]. I did this on my own merit and skill.😊|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1223076163595186177</ref>}}

[[File:Chris Chan Sonicleric.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris Chan Sonicleric as a [[TSSSF]] card.]]

'''Dungeons and Dragons''' is a popular fantasy role-playing game, considered the father of modern RPGs. Chris picked up interest in the game during Winter of 2019 after [[ProjectSNT]] cited it as inspiration for her redesign of [[Wild Sonichu]].

He tried to convince local card game shop [[The End Games]] to unban him in order for him to learn to play (while insisting that their meetup group at a local restaurant was not good enough). Yet, the game shop maintained their stance.<ref>[[The End Games#Demands to be unbanned]]</ref>

Chris eventually learned to play from a local group of what he believes to be are friends.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#D&D]]</ref>

==Dimensional beliefs==
{{quote|[[Polyamorous marriage|We]], personally, are in of need of better help in [[1218|this restrictive Dimension]] that has been now getting in-flowing Magics and Powers now, and better so, Presently. I need the help that ONLY the staff and past/present patrons of [[The End Games|@TheEndGames]] can provide.|Chris claims learning how to play D&D will assist with the Dimensional Merge.}}

In order to rationalize his [[Chris and anger|triggering]] over ProjectSNT's redesigns, Chris dreamed up the [[CS-89]] dimension [[ProjectSNT#Rationalizations and attempts to get SNT to respond|in a meditation session]] on 11 [[December 2019]]. Dimension CS-89 is supposedly the Dungeons & Dragons-esque version of [[C-197]] that is home to Plutia and Peashy from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', the redesigns, and Chris's D&D character, Chris Chan Sonicleric.

In his tweets, Chris believed that his triggering was caused by a disturbance in the CS-89 dimension. What kind of "disturbance" was not disclosed, but he stated migrations of peoples and items from CS-89, alongside entire dungeons via heavy magic, came into C-197. Chris also came into the dimension as a Cleric to prevent "something really bad" from happening. Neither that nor how the migrations to C-197 worked have been disclosed.

Chris also claims that Dungeons and Dragons is one of the events that will lead to the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref name=merge>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1224601569393553409</ref>

==Character sheet==
Chris posted an in-progress character sheet to Twitter on 30 January 2020. As with his [[art]], the sheet is written in pen. A few entries are corrected with Wite-Out tape.

He considers work on the sheet to be [[meditation]].<ref name=merge></ref>

{| class="wikitable"
|+CLASS & LEVEL
|Cleric Ranger 23
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+BACKGROUND
|Mix
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+RACE
|Sonichu/Human
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ALIGNMENT
|[[Law|Neutral Good]]
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+INITIATIVE
|<nowiki>+3</nowiki>
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+SPEED
|3,736 Feet
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+HIT DICE
|1d8 + 1d10
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ATTACKS AND SPELLCASTING
|-
! NAME
! ATK BONUS
! DAMAGE/TYPE
|-
|[[Pocket knife|Longsword]]
|
|1d8 Slashing
|-
|Crossbow, Hand
|
|1d6 Piercing
|-
|Dual Shortsword
|
|2d6 Piercing
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+FEATURES AND TRAITS
|Shelter of the Faithful, By Popular Demand, Rustic Hospitality, Guild Membership, Discovery, Position of Privilege, Researcher

Transform Bonuses;

[[Pokémon|Mega Evolving]] with C.C. [[Sonichite]] adds +5 to ALL Bonuses (super).

7 [[Sonic|Chaos Emerald]] transform to Hyper [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] adds +10 to ALL Bonuses.

Going HDD To [[CPU Blue Heart]] adds +5 to ALL Bonuses.

* I can't be Mega Evolved and Hyper Form at the same time
* I can be Mega Evolved OR Hyper Form while in either Normal Sonichu Form or CPU Form. Bonuses get combined in this instance (of CPU and Mega or Hyper).

Single Transformation lasts for one action.

Giant Killer, Steel Will, Land's Stride, Dual Wielder. Athlete,
Elemental Adept, Observant, War Caster, Spellcasting (Cleric + Ranger), Divine Domain (Knowledge, Life, Light), Channel Divinity, Turn/Destroy Undead (3) Divine Intervention, Favored Enemy, Natural Mountain Explorer, Two-Weapon Fighting
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+EQUIPMENT
|Longsword, Shield, Chain Shirt, Two Short-swords, Hand Crossbow, 20 Crossbow Bolts, Travelers Clothes, [[Sonichu Medallion]], C.C. [[Sonichite]], [[Magic stones|Celestial key]], Magic Wand, Magic Amp, [[Fanta|Elixer Bottle]], Pen, [[Magic Stones]];

Backpack: Bedroll, Magnifying Glass, 50' Rope, 2 Spellbooks, 10 Potions, Painter Supplies, Blanket, DayRations (5), Mess Kit, Waterskin, Note Case, Signet Ring, Small Knife, Dice & Cards, Guild Letter
|}

<center><gallery>
File:D&D character sheet1.jpg
File:D&D character sheet2.jpg
File:D&D character sheet3.jpg
</gallery></center>


===Flaws===
Fans noted several flaws with Chris's character sheet.

*Broken character.
*Abilities which don't exist in D&D, such as Mega-evolving from ''[[Pokémon]]'', with no homebrew explanation.
*Nonsensical speed. A single round of D&D lasts six seconds in-game. An average player moves 30 feet (9 metres) in that time, while Chris's character moves 3,700 feet (1.1 km) in that time, twice that if he dashes. Additionally, walk speeds are always given in multiples of 10, while Chris's character instead gives the oddly specific speed of 3,736 feet per round. This was apparently calculated based on Sonichu's average running speed and the number of breaths he supposedly takes per second...for some reason.
*Starting at level 23, a level higher than god characters, quite fitting for his [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|delusions]].
** Level 20 is the highest a player character can attain in the game, making this particularly ridiculous.
** His tally marks specify he's taken 15 levels of cleric and 8 levels of ranger, which makes him miss out on the best cleric features and spells (levels 17-20).
*Only has 2 hit dice. A level 23 character would be expected to have a cumulative total of 23 hit dice (a number of d8s equal to his cleric levels, and a number of d10s matching his ranger levels).
*Prioritizing fluff about the character over skills, stats or feats.
*Attempt to homebrew a custom race (Sonichu).
*Overpowered transformation ability, also non-existent in normal D&D, giving himself a +5 or +10 bonus (cumulative with his other custom-made abilities), enough to make it so that he would never lose at dice rolls.
** A level 20 character usually has a +11 bonus to actions he's proficient in; Chris's special extra bonuses could bump that to +21 or more, making even "difficult" tasks, which usually require a roll of at least 20, impossible to fail.
*Insufficient equipment, weapons, or money. He's only listed starting equipment befitting a level 1 character; his 50 gold pieces are also a far cry from what can be expected from a level 20 character.
**He's used all of his 5 opportunities to increase his stats to take feats instead (Dual Wielder, Athlete, Elemental Adept, Observant, and War Caster), which means his core abilities (e.g. Dexterity, Constitution, and Wisdom, the latter especially important for clerics) are exactly the same as a level 1 character's.
**His "dual shortsword" is listed as doing 2d6 damage. A shortsword deals 1d6 damage, and dual-wielding two of them only allows you to make an additional attack, it doesn't give you an extra damage die. Additionally, you don't need to take the Dual Wielder feat to use two shortswords to begin with.
*Chris listed a "Magic Wand" without specifying what it is, which is pointless for one of two reasons:
** A wand can be used as a "focus" by sorcerers, warlocks, and wizards, but neither by rangers nor by clerics (rangers may not use foci or use a druidic focus; clerics use holy symbols, which a medallion could technically be, as harrowing as that thought is), making a wand useless for him.
** Alternatively, he might have meant a particular type of wand, which means he did so without understanding they are created with one particular spell in them. This suggests that he doesn't understand the difference between an arcane focus and a magical wand. This also shows that when he selected the item he did it without paying anything or even looking in a book, because wands are always listed with their spell and a price based on the power of that spell.
** In either case, he has a stick he can't use for anything. It's also worth noting that a "magic amp" is not a thing in D&D; in a similar manner, his two random spellbooks are nothing he can actually use, as only wizards rely on spellbooks.
*He has the "Shelter of the Faithful", "By Popular Demand", "Rustic Hospitality", "Guild Membership", "Discovery", "Position of Privilege" and "Sage" features, which implies he took SEVEN backgrounds ([[Religion|Acolyte]], [[Music|Entertainer]], [[Ego|Folk Hero]], [[Art|Guild Artisan]], [[Reality|Hermit]], [[Anne Boleyn|Noble]] and [[Chris_and_oratory|Sage]]) instead of the permitted ONE.
*Clerics are only permitted one Divine Domain. Chris has chosen three (Knowledge, Life and Light).
*Has written down the Favoured Enemy ranger feature, but hasn't actually chosen a favoured enemy (a type of monster to gain benefits against); conversely, he hasn't written down his ranger archetype (Hunter) at all.
*A completely new player that isn't [[slow in the minds]] can be briefly overwhelmed when first playing a level 1 character. Giving a greenhorn some ridiculous feature-laden "level 23" character guarantees he'll have no idea what's going on in the game, especially if he happens to be Chris.

==Other characters==
[[File:Blake Sonidemaru.jpg|200px|thumb|Blake Sonidemaru]]

In [[May 2022]], during the [[Jail Saga]], Chris drew Blake Sonidemaru, counterpart of [[Blake]] from [[dimension]] CS-89; he colored in the drawing in [[February 2024]] and posted it to Twitter.

{{clear}}

==Dungeons & Dragons Harrisonburg==
{{main|Dungeons & Dragons Harrisonburg}}
'''Dungeons & Dragons Harrisonburg''' is a [[Meetup]] group which Chris joined and participated in.
{{References}}
{{SNTSaga}}
[[Category:Hobbies]]

CWC's Pokésite 2

2025-12-22T19:56:25Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* Current status */

[[File:Pokesite2 banner.png|center]]

'''CWC's Pokésite 2''' was one of Chris's earliest websites about [[Pokémon]], launched on 22 July [[1999]]. It was created using the web-builder feature on Go.com, a largely unsuccessful web portal made by Disney. [[Chris]] made a poorly-translated Spanish version, which shows that his Spanish name is [[Spanish|Ricardo]] W. Chandler. According to the sign, Chris made [[Espanolic]] the mascot of the Spanish version.

The email listed on the page is itsameCWC@aol.com, probably a reference to the opening splash screen of ''Super [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario]] 64'', where Mario says his iconic phrase: "It's a-me, Mario!".

==History==
In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris proudly proclaims both the [[Spanish]] and [[Chris and English|English]] versions as having been created from "notepad scratch" thanks to his HTML classes. Given the quality of the sites, it is largely assumed that "notepad scratch" is a euphemism for "pulled out of his ass". The website was spawned out of his obsession with ''Pokémon'' and originally featured [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as the mascot.

The site's logo, shown below, was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], one of Chris's high-school [[gal pal|gal-pals]], as a school assignment.

In addition to the demonstrably poor aesthetics, the site also has a number of HTML errors.<ref>See for example [http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.archive.org%2Fweb%2F20010217092458%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fhomepages.go.com%2F~christianchandler%2Fpokste2.htm&charset=%28detect+automatically%29&doctype=Inline&group=0 here]. Errors before line 253 are in the Wayback Machine's toolbar and aren't Chris's fault.</ref> For example, the title image is aligned to the left of the screen, because Chris wrote <code>align=CENTER</code> when he meant <code>align="middle"</code>. This would have been obvious to Chris unless he'd been testing the site on a 640x480 monitor (already obsolete in 2001<ref>http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_display.asp</ref>), and it would tend to make his work look even less professional to a software engineer who was considering him for a Web-development job.

==Current status==
Since the website has been at times hosted on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Chris's other fail webspaces]], its current status is the same as theirs, inactive and archived. He doubtlessly has a copy hanging around somewhere, Due to Chris's compulsion to hoard his work.

==Content==
While the site's nominal purpose was to sperg about Pokémon, the content of the site suggests that Chris's ulterior purpose for the site was to sell himself as a cool person and make friends, just as his later [[Sonichu's News Dash]] was ''really'' about attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Chris hoped that there would be extensive community feedback--the art section was for "drawings from you and me," for example. There was also a "Cool Letters" section, which remained vacant. He practically begged people to sign his guestbook, and, of course, there was the prominent "About the Author" section, where Chris's already-enormous [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] was apparent.

This archived edition was last updated on 15 January 2009.

===Front page===
[[File:Cwcpktwo.GIF|center]]

New logo was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]] and Me. :)

Launched on July 22, 1999

Updated: 1/15/2009

Welcome...

To CWC's PokéSite 2!

To add frames to see my other cool sites, click here! 8)

Enjoy your visit! :)

Please visit again for many Updates, be sure to Bookmark us, and be sure to tell your friends about us, too. And, please sign the Guestbook.

* A Real Pokémon Trading Card Game Section.
* An Art section with drawings from you and me.
* A PokéCheats Section.
* A Downloads section.
* Updated News more often.
* Cool Letters section.
* A Pokémon Card section.
* A Section of cool Links.
* About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.
* Please, Sign my Guestbook.
<gallery>
File:Letr.gif
</gallery>
* And a whole lot more!!!

And, if you want to see the original CWC's PokéSite, here is the link.

===CWC's PokéArt Section===
<center><gallery>
File:Art.gif
</gallery></center>
Clicking this link to brought you to 24 of Chris's homemade Pokémon trading cards, some of the earliest entries in [[The Wall of Originals]].

===CWC's Downloads!===

This page included links to the American and Japanese Pokémon themes. There were also .mpg movies entitled "Pikachu Vs. Raichu", "Ash and Pikachu", and "Team Rocket's Motto". taken from a site called "Pikachu's Place." Finally, under "Programs/Games/Other," one could play five games provided by "Insomniac Pokemon's Top 100 Pokemon Sites."

===CWC's Pokenews===
<center><gallery>
File:Poknews.jpg
</gallery></center>
This was the meat of the website. It included a series of brief updates from the world of Pokémon. Very little of it is original; Chris just relayed information he had read in other publications and sites. There are a few insights into Chris's life during this period. Sometimes homework prevents him from making more frequent updates. He also takes a break during the move from [[Richmond|Midlothian]] to [[Ruckersville]], which he says caused him [[stress]] and a dip in inspiration, excuses which would soon become very familiar to his fans. We see that Chris was apparently very upbeat through 2000 and essentially pre-sexual, his mind focused almost exclusively on his Pokémon hobby. Only in a later update to the site, when he was 22, do we first see references to the [[Lovequest]]. He also assumes that his readers hang on his every word.

"'''The Archive Section!'''" included his earliest stuff, labeled "October, 1999-December, 1999." He introduced it with, "Finally, I am going to start on my own PokéNews section for my PokéSite. I'll start small, but this section will grow...with time."

{{quotebox|
Corrected: My first article: some information about Pokémon Gold/Silver (what Pokémon will you start with?). Information and pics. wereprovided by, Info Gamers' magizine.

'''What Pokémon will you start with in Pokémon Gold/Silver
'''

10/13/99

I was surfing on the internet one day, and I got an E-Mail talking about Info Gamers' magizine's website having the pictures of the three new Pokémon you start with in the new Gold/Silver version. It had an internet address attached to it, which goes to that article.

Anyway, here is the situation, in the Gold/Silver version, you do not get to choose between Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle. You get to choose between a firey hedgehog, Hino-arashi, a timid pear-shaped grass Pokémon, Chicory-ta, and a crocodile that attacks with its teeth and its tail, Wani-noco.

I'll have more information when I get some. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Save yourself a trip to Blockbuster Video! You can print yourself an entry form from Nintendo's Pokémon World!'''

10/14/99

You know that new Pokémon Snap contest where you can win a trip to [[PandaHalo|Austraullia]]? You can save yourself a trip to the store by downloading a copy of the official form from Pokémon World!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Info. on Snubble, Marril, and Donphan!!'''

10/22/99

I found some interesting information on the three Pokémon: Snubble, Marril, and Donphan.

Snubble: The name is a combo of snub-nosed and bulldog. Nintendo's Gail Tilden says that Snubble is very grumpy and has a short fuse.

Marril: This water mouse is already hugely popular in Japan, where the new Pokémon movie first opened, and soon will pop up on the TV show.

Donphan: Tilden says the name is derived from the Japanese word "don," meaning "heavy-footed," and "phan" from elephant. It does a rolling attack and is one of the larger Pokémon.

Source: USA Today.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Dig Into Fossil Deckbuilding Contest!'''

10/28/99

Wizard's of the Coast's Pokémon website is having a contest in which you could win 2 Fossil Booster Boxes, both Fossil Theme Decks, and the Starter Gift Box.

All you have to do is click on the big icon on their website, follow their instructions, enter, and possibly win! It's really a way for those who do not know how to construct their own deck to learn how.}}

{{quotebox|
[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls]].

10/30/99

(Intro.)

For my [[Chris and English|English]] class in late September of this year, I had to write my own myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and a few other people. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''[[Burger King]] Will Have 57 Pokémon!'''

10/13/99, but updated: 11/04/99

That's right! Starting November 8-December 15, Burger Kings of the United States will have 57 Pokémon! And they include my top 2 favorite Pokémon: *Mew*, and *Pikachu*!

The Pokémon Gold thing, is that of six 32k gold cards for $1.99 per card, starting Nov. 15. They feature Pikachu, Mewtwo, Jigglypuff, Poliwhirl, Charizard, and Togepi.

Here's a biggie, the 57 toys will be in a Poké Ball, 1 toy per Kids' Meal, inludes a special Trading Card for each, and catorized for their toy features. And Burger Kings will have a trading night every tuesday for the toys, starting Nov. 23.

The Toy list:

Pikachu. The only plush toy that will talk.

[Here Chris included the list of all 57 toys.]

Click Here to see the big poster.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Pokémon TCG cards from the new movie!'''

10/20/99

Check this out: "In the 'Pokemon The First Movie' promotion, moviegoers will receive, with the purchase of each movie ticket, a randomly selected game card from a collection of four new cards published by Wizards of the Coast. These special new game cards are only available by purchasing a ticket to the movie or by making a $10 purchase at the Warner Bros. Studio Stores, as long as supplies last.

"The new Pokemon cards feature Dragonite, a flying Pokemon messenger; Electabuzz, a wild Pokemon with a short temper; Mewtwo, the violent, genetically engineered creation who challenges Mew for dominance of all Pokemon; and Ash's furry pal Pikachu, the most charming and beloved Pokemon."

Also now a mention of when and how to get a Promo. Mew, from WOTC!!!

Click here to go to Wizard's articles.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!

11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the
information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm sorry; I have not been on the internet lately.'''

Notice!

11/18/99

I'm sorry I have not updated the website as fast as I usually do, but I had to do a lot of [[Manchester High Leaks|homework]]. I'll update the site at least on the weekends; being off the [[internet]] for a while sure makes you miss a lot of things...:)}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Timeline for Pokémon!'''

11/30/99

Here is a current Poké Timeline from the "Business" section of today's [[Richmond]] Times Dispatch.

[Here Chris included a timeline of important Pokemon events from 1996 to Summer 2000.]}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Brand New PokéDex! There is a new website with a PokéDex of the so-called "Pokégods!"'''

A List of the Next 100 Pokémon!

12/15/99

There is a new website with a PokéDex of the "Pokégods" from the new Gold/Silver Versions. Click Here to go to this new website!}}

After the archive, the next series of articles was labeled, "February, 2000-Audgust, 2000." "Here's a big update; the Old News are in the new Archive section! Click on the link on the bottom of the page."

{{quotebox|
Here is a [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentines Day hymn]] I have written for the special day of love. Enjoy! :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''There are Pokémon cards of other Languages! And I'm searching for some cards of a certain language.'''

The Foreign Pokémon Cards are Here!

1/21/2000

I have come across of Pokémon cards in other languages. I have found so far, German and French cards. But, since I take the [[Spanish]] language, I have figured that there may be some Spanish Pokémon cards. If you have any information on Spanish cards, or have any Spanish Booster Paks, Send me an E-Mail at: Itsame CWC@aol.com. Have a nice day. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''UpdatedNew Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards! (2+1 new cards)!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!
11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New! Team Rocket Card List.'''

4/3/2000

The Team Rocket expansion will be coming on April 24th, but the PokéSite has the list to help. The American Team Rocket card list is in the TCG section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Promo. Trainer Card is here! And we have the scoop on it!'''

New! Trainer: Computer Error Card!.

5/29/2000

There is now, for the first time in America, a new Promo Trainer card called: Computer Error. It is a Non-Holo card, and was probably originally a Team Rocket card; by the name, it says: "(Rocket's Secret Machine)."

Find out how to get it in my Promo. Card Section!

And I'm sorry that I have not updated the site lately; too much homework and less inspiration.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Another Promo. card/Where are those updates?
'''

A Coast-to-Coast Promo. card, Eevee!

6/19/2,000

There is a Promo. Card that has been flying around the country (which did not make it to some states), Promo. #11, Eevee! Information on it is in the Promo. Pokémon Section!

Where have those updates been?

I have not been keeping up with the PokéNews Section, because my family and I have been in the moving process from [[Richmond]], VA to [[Ruckersville]], VA. The [[stress]] was keeping me down. But, as soon as we are moved there, I will be updating the PokéSite much more often with PokéNews!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm Back...with updates!'''

I'm Back!

7/17/2000

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the long wait without updates, but my family and I are finally moved to Ruckersville. So the updates will come up more often, now! 8)

To start, there is an update in the Trading Card section: 1st, the new 2000 Movie Promos are listed, including Achient Mew!

I'll keep the updates coming; thanks for coping with me. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Ancitent Mew has been translated!'''

7/22/2000

During the first week of the new Pokémon 2000 Movie, the Anchient Mew Promo. cards will be given to those who go to see the movie.

I translated the A-Mew at the League today. So, for those who do not go to the League, the A-Mew "Details" go as followed:

Name of Attack: Psyche (Requires 2 Psychic Energies).
Hit Points: 30.
Attack Damage: 40.
Retreat Cost: **
Weakness: Psychic.
Resistance: None.

I hope this will help some of you in your TCG card games. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo. Checklist!'''

7/27/2000

Since there are so many Promo. Cards flying about, instead of just a list with details, I have made a simple, printable checklist.

To ease some possible confusion, the "?'s" means that the card of that # has not yet been learned about. And since Ancient Mew does not have a Promo. #, I gave it a #00.

I will update as often as new Promo. Cards come out. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''The League Cool Porygon Rumor is finally comfirmed!'''

New Promos. Coming to the Pokémon TCG League!

8/9/2000

I'm sure that you all have heard about the rumors of there being the *Cool Porygon Promo. card is going to be given out at the TCG League.

Well, I have just found out the truth to the rumor. My source was a small newsletter that was given out at my League at Toys "R" Us, the Pok*eacute;mon Press.

As for the *Cool Porygon, it states in the Newsletter:

"Beginning on September 16th, there will be a final season to round out the first year of the TCG League, Victory Road.

"Only those that earned all 8 Badges will receive a Victory Road booklet. When a Trainer gets 20 points in the Booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Psyduck #?* card. When he or she wins 5 games in a row in the booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Cool Porygon #15* card."

So, earn those badges to catch the $150 card, and a Psyduck. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Heroes Checklist and Deck Contents!'''

Gym Heroes Info!

8/10/2000

I got my Gym Heroes cards a little early, so I put together a new checklist with Level #'s and Deck Contents!

You know those Gym cards only found in the Japanese deck instead of the Booster Paks? I've found out that Wizards took some of those cards, and made them into
Non-Holo Rare cards.

You can find the list in the Pokemon TCG Section!

Oh, the PokéFire is rekindled! 8)}}

The final section of these brief articles covers 29 August - 22 December 2000.

{{quotebox|
'''Coming Soon... A Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2!'''

Coming Soon...

8/29/2000

A [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|new website]] will be coming this Winter. It's a Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2! It will be highlighting my Favorite Home Pokémon, and My Speedy Hero.

Coming This Winter, from CWC's PokéSite 2! is...
<gallery>
File:193-soniclgo.jpg
</gallery>
Sonichu's got a promotion! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
[[File:EarlyBionic.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

9/4/2000

As part of the new Sonichu Site!, there is another character mentioned,
besides Sonichu, he's the Hedgehog that I made up back in November, 1996.
He was also Sonic's Long-Lost, but found, [[Cole Smithey|big brother]]. He is...

Bionic the Hedgehog.

Click on him to read [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|his Story]].}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Badge Theory!'''

New Pokemon TCG League Badges Theory!

9/18/2000

I have a theory about the Pokémon TCG League. Since there are the 8 Badges from the Red-Yellow Versions so far, and Victory Road is coming up, what will come after Victory Road?

I believe that since the Gold/Silver Versions will have many new Badges, the Pokémon TCG League might get those new Badges some time after the Gold/Silver Versions come out.

But do not get your hopes up, yet; it's just a theory of mine. If it does occur, I will post it in the PokéNews! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Gym Card--#19--!'''

9/20/2000

I have just learned about the Promo. #19 card, Sabrina's Abra!

My resouce came from this article of Collecting Nations!, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Sample Sonic Review!'''

Review Sample.

9/28/2000

In the Sonichu Site, there will be Sonic the Hedgehog game Reviews and Previews. So, this month, you will get to see one of its Reviews --Sonic Adventure!

Coming Next Month: Sonichu's Story!}}

Here Chris linked to a boring review of "Sonic Adventure, 1999."

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Pikachu Cards<nowiki>--#'s 24=28--!</nowiki>'''

10/5/2000

I have just learned about the new Pikachu Promo. cards, #'s 24-28!

My resouce came from Wizards of the Coast Site, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. <nowiki>8)</nowiki>

But, for further info, please check the Promo Page!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Challenge!'''

10/7/2000

I have just got a new Checklist of the Gym Challenge cards! It has more of the last 4 Gym Leaders than the first 4. To see the Checklist, go to the Poké Card Section!

A cool thing about it is that it has a couple of the Vending Machine Cards:

*Master Ball

*Max Revive

Maybe Wizards will put the Vending Machine Cards in Future Booster Paks!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Happy Birthday Pikachu Contest!'''

Happy Birthday Pikachu!

12/5/2000

Wizards of the Coast is holding a contest in which you could win a Holo Promo. American Happy Birthday Pikachu card!

The contest deadline is December 10, 2000, and up to 30,000 cards will be awarded.

For more info, go to Wizards' Site! For Pikachu #'s, go to the Promo. list in the Poké Card Section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Get a Marril Pokémon card (Before Neo Comes)!'''

Marril, Marril, Marril!

12/5/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards will have many Pokémon card distribute Marril cards on the 16th. All you have to do is go to the store and ask for
one.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''More exclusive info. on the Marril Card!'''

Marril is a Promo. Card!

12/17/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards had many Pokémon card stores distribute Marril cards on the 16th (and later (while supplies last)). All you have to do is go to the store and ask for one.

This card is really worth the trouble; it's Promo. card #29! For the most current Promo. card checklist, go to my Pokémon Card Section!

There will be a Marill in the Neo set, but it is a lot different than the Promo. #29 card.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Set 1 Checklist!'''

New Neo Set 1 Checklist and Deck Lists!

12/22/2000

I finally got a Neo Deck, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The "Chared" condition is described!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Discovery Set 2 Checklist!
'''

12/22/2000

I Neo Discovery list, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The Unown Rule!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

===Pokemon Cards Section===
{{quotebox|
In this section, we will keep you up-to-date with the latest news in the world of Pokémon Trading Cards.

And if you are interested in trading over the internet...

You can visit the Trading Boards at Collecting Nations. There, you will find many trade offers from me and lots of other people who collect the cards, too! By the way, my name on C.N. is Starplayer.

Here, you will also find the lists of all the known cards in America, which cards ar in the theme decks of now, and the Translated Pokémon Cards from Japan. Information for the cards were brought to you by InQuest Gamer Magazine.

Have a View of the Most Current Rules of the Pokémon Trading Card Game.}}

Chris followed this with a long list of cards and their qualities.

===About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>

This is my current high school picture.

Check out my AOL Profile Page

Alias: Christopher.

'''D.O.B.:''' 2/24/1982.

'''Age:''' 18 years.

'''Occupation:''' Graduated from [[Manchester High School]]! And going to [[PVCC]].

'''Hobbies:'''

* Play video games...Sonic, Mario, and Pokémon mostly.
* Collecting Pokémon Trading Cards.
* I enjoy watching anime. My favorites are:

'''Sonic X
Pokémon
[[Transformers]]
[[Excel Saga]]
[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragonball Z]] or GT'''

* Building with [[LEGO|lego]] pieces to make structures, and vehicles. For example, I built 60 Karts like the ones in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario Kart 64]]. And I drew up my own instructions on how to build one:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* I like to draw and do art projects for my enjoyment. For example, my [[Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon Cards]] in the Art Section.
* I also enjoy all kinds of [[music]]. Except hard rock...:(
* I like to speak a lot of [[Spanish|Español]] when I can, and just to let you know, and to release the possible confusion, my Spanish name is Ricardo.

'''My dream:'''
I dream that [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA|Sega]] will join and make a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for Game Boy. To encourage it, I started making [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|my own Nintendo Power Magazine]], but it is not completed yet; I got as far as to the end of my "Classified Information" section. Here's my drawn cover:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>

'''A Story of Pokémon.'''

I also wrote my own story of How Pokémon came to be. You can read it by clicking here: [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokémon Came Into Our Poké Balls]].

Have a nice day. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

The above autobiographical sketch remained largely unchanged for four years. When Chris was 22, he added "'''Status:''' Single and lonely." Clicking on these words brought one to a new page which consisted of an early list of his girlfriend qualifications. It varies slightly from the one he included in [[Sonichu's News Dash]], produced around the same time. This reflects his shift in priorities: he had discovered [[dating]], and had begun his epic [[Sweetheart Search]].

{{quotebox|
'''The Girl for Christian.
'''

I'm lonely and want a cute female companion.

If you would like to hang with me, I am seeking a girl with the following qualities:

* 18-22 years of age.
* Does not already have a boyfriend.
* Single
* 5' to 5'9"
* Average/Slender weight and body type.
* Does not [[Tobacky|Smoke]] or drink [[Alcohol]]; MAJOR TURN OFF.
* Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area.
* White.
* Happy, positive personality.
* Young at heart.
* Average/High income.
* Drives a vehicle.
* A Caring girl.
* She has to be pretty.

If you wish to learn more about Christian C, look up his"SonichuCWC" profile on [[Match.com]].

If you want to meet me in person at the places I hang out at, I will be wearing a [[medallion]] that looks like Sonichu's head.
<gallery>
File:190-chumedal.jpg
</gallery>
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Actual face will vary.*

* Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.}}

==Now in [[Spanish]]==
[[File:480-ElPokeSiteDeRWC2.JPG|thumb|Note the Dutch/Luxembourgish flag, neither the Netherlands nor Luxembourg being associated with Spanish in any way]]
Chris went to the trouble of translating most of the site into Spanish. He didn't quite finish. Here are some samples:

===Introductory sign (see right)===
{{quotebox|
'''El pokesite de RWC 2'''

¡El Pokésite de R.W.C.!es el website con la información actualizacióna de las noticias del pokémon, el juego de tarjetas de pokemon y es un website bueno con las lenguas inglesa y españolas

Español Rocks!}}

Translation:

{{quotebox|
RWCs Pokesite 2:

RWCs Pokesite is the website with the latest news about Pokemon and the Pokemon TGC and is a good website with the spanish and english languages.

Spanish rocks!}}

===Front page===
[[File:Peridico.jpg|300px|right]]
{{quotebox|
Actualizacioné 15/1/2009

'''¡Bienvenido...'''

Al NUEVO y MEJOR PokéSite de RWC 2!

¿Que es alli a suponer en el nuevo PokéSite?

* Un Verdadero Sección Pokémon Juego de Video.
* Un Sección de Arte con los dibujos de tu' y yo.
* Un Sección de los Claves de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los Downloads.
* Actualizacions Noticias mas menudos.
* Kewl Sección de las Cartas.
* Un sección de las Tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los kewls enlaces.
* Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.
* Por favor, Escribes en mi Huesped Libro.
* ¡¡¡Y muchos mas!!!

Y, si quieres ver el original El PokéSite de RWC, aquí es el enlance.}}

Chris also translated the "About the Author" section. He did not update this translation after turning 18, and so did not identify himself as "Single and lonely" or include a link to girlfriend requirements, as he would in the English-language version.

===Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>
Es mí general foto de mí escuela secundaria.

Sobre del Autor,

Ricardo W. Chandler.

Día de Cumpleaños: 24/2/1982

Edad: Tengo 18 años.

Ocupación: Graduado desde la Escuela Secundaria Manchester.

Hobbys:

* Juego los juegos de videos...Sonic, Mario, y Pokémon muchos.
* Colecciono las tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Construo con las edificas piezas de lego a crear las estructuras, y los vehículos. O ejamplo, yo creé 24 "Karts" como los "karts" en el juego de video, Mario Kart 64. Y yo dibujé lo mío instruccion en comó creo uno:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* Me gusta dibujar y hacer los proyectos para mí goce. O ejamplo, mís fabricació tarjetas de Pokémon en el Sección de Arte.
* Me gusta todas las músicas. Pero, no me gusta la música furete rock...:(
* Normalmente, yo hablo en inglés, me llamo en inglés, Christian.

Mí sueño:
Yo soñé de cuándo Nintendo y Sega van a juntar y crear un juego de video del Sonic el Puerco Espíno para el "Game Boy." Yo animo el por crear lo mío Nintendo Power revista, pero no está completo ahora; yo estoy al fin de mí sección del "Classified Information". Aquí está mí portada de dibujar:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>
Un Cuento de Pokémon.
Yo escribí lo mío cuento de dondé son los Pokémons. El cuento es en inglés. Puedes leer el cuento de hacer clique aquí: Comó los Pokémons Venieron en Nuestros Poké Bolas .

Tienes un bueno día. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

==Guestbook==
Seventeen people signed the website's guestbook. Most of the details of the first seven entries appear to have been lost. Since [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] signed the guestbook of his [[CWC's Pokésite 1|first site]], we can assume that Chris pressured them to sign this one too. On 29 July 1999, seven days after launch, a friend signed and told Chris that she hoped he would continue learning HTML. On 30 September, one Mrs. Johnson signed and said that she knew of "others" who would like his website, and that she would let them know about it. The last ten guests are below. One of them was "Sonichu," who says it's a "terrific site." One was a fellow student. Two were companions from the Pokemon league. The last was from a "friend" from PVCC named Nicole. This is rare evidence of a college peer paying Chris any positive attention whatsoever.

8. '''Name:''' AmerZ-ChaN

'''Website:''' [ sonikku7 seisaku ]

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 1999-12-05 00:39:13

'''Comments:''' Weii!! Cute site ^__^;; keep up the good work, maybe I can see a little more of Jiggly Puff...?^^!! hehe, ish my favorite n_n;

---

9. '''Name:''' Mrs. A Raghu

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Richmond, VA

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 03:55:53

'''Comments:''' Nice Page Christian, Keep up the good work...Pokemon is sooo cute too!! -Mrs. Raghu

---

10. '''Name:''' Jaime

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' richmond

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 19:42:18

'''Comments:''' Hola Recardo! ¿Como estas? This is jaime... in your spanish 2 class... really cool site dude... keep up the good work...

---

11. '''Name:''' Scott

'''Website:''' The Pokemon Deck Doctor

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 2000-01-26 01:53:17

'''Comments:''' Good job on the site! I linked to you.

---

12. '''Name:''' Megan Mitchell

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-03-04 02:39:34

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian, This is [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]]'s sister. Ijust wanted to tell you, you are very good at drawing. Well see ya later. Megan Mitchell

---

13. '''Name:''' Mrs. Dunlap

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Manchester High School

'''Time:''' 2000-03-16 17:36:14

'''Comments:''' It is nice to see how your website looks after adding your new logos. Did you tell Maranda that you used her logos on your site? Nice Work. See you in class tommorrow.

---

14. '''Name:''' Jarrett Deane

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Chesterfield,Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-04-24 01:42:13

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian it's Jarrett from the Poke'mon League. I'll prove it our gym leader is Mark. We go to Books-a-Million. Our gym leader used to be Lynn. See you Saturday.

---

15. '''Name:''' Sonichu

'''Website:''' El PokeSite de RWC 2!

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Poke World

'''Time:''' 2000-07-26 20:06:53

'''Comments:''' Terrific site! 8)

---

16. '''Name:''' Jason

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Charlottesville

'''Time:''' 2000-08-16 03:22:22

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian!! Just checked out your page. Pretty cool!!! I liked the pokemon cards you drew up. Oh, do you know who I am. I met you at the Toys 'R Us league. I beat you with that Moltres stall deck, remember? Good luck at PVCC...and keep the site updated (if you've got time)!! Hasta Lavista, Jason

---

17. '''Name:''' Nicole

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Born in MI, live in VA

'''Time:''' 2000-08-31 04:54:56

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian! Good job! I would never be able to do that. Good luck in all that you do. Your friend from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]- Nicole

==See also==
*[[CWC's Pokésite 1]]
*[[Sonichu.net]]
*[[Spanish]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm Internet Archive mirror]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Defunct websites]]

CWC's Pokésite 2

2025-12-22T19:56:07Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* Current status */

[[File:Pokesite2 banner.png|center]]

'''CWC's Pokésite 2''' was one of Chris's earliest websites about [[Pokémon]], launched on 22 July [[1999]]. It was created using the web-builder feature on Go.com, a largely unsuccessful web portal made by Disney. [[Chris]] made a poorly-translated Spanish version, which shows that his Spanish name is [[Spanish|Ricardo]] W. Chandler. According to the sign, Chris made [[Espanolic]] the mascot of the Spanish version.

The email listed on the page is itsameCWC@aol.com, probably a reference to the opening splash screen of ''Super [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario]] 64'', where Mario says his iconic phrase: "It's a-me, Mario!".

==History==
In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris proudly proclaims both the [[Spanish]] and [[Chris and English|English]] versions as having been created from "notepad scratch" thanks to his HTML classes. Given the quality of the sites, it is largely assumed that "notepad scratch" is a euphemism for "pulled out of his ass". The website was spawned out of his obsession with ''Pokémon'' and originally featured [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as the mascot.

The site's logo, shown below, was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], one of Chris's high-school [[gal pal|gal-pals]], as a school assignment.

In addition to the demonstrably poor aesthetics, the site also has a number of HTML errors.<ref>See for example [http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.archive.org%2Fweb%2F20010217092458%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fhomepages.go.com%2F~christianchandler%2Fpokste2.htm&charset=%28detect+automatically%29&doctype=Inline&group=0 here]. Errors before line 253 are in the Wayback Machine's toolbar and aren't Chris's fault.</ref> For example, the title image is aligned to the left of the screen, because Chris wrote <code>align=CENTER</code> when he meant <code>align="middle"</code>. This would have been obvious to Chris unless he'd been testing the site on a 640x480 monitor (already obsolete in 2001<ref>http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_display.asp</ref>), and it would tend to make his work look even less professional to a software engineer who was considering him for a Web-development job.

==Current status==
Since the website has been at times hosted on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Chris's other fail webspaces]], its current status is the same as theirs, inactive and archived. He doubtlessly has a copy hanging around somewhere, Due to Chris's compulsion to hoard his ''work''.

==Content==
While the site's nominal purpose was to sperg about Pokémon, the content of the site suggests that Chris's ulterior purpose for the site was to sell himself as a cool person and make friends, just as his later [[Sonichu's News Dash]] was ''really'' about attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Chris hoped that there would be extensive community feedback--the art section was for "drawings from you and me," for example. There was also a "Cool Letters" section, which remained vacant. He practically begged people to sign his guestbook, and, of course, there was the prominent "About the Author" section, where Chris's already-enormous [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] was apparent.

This archived edition was last updated on 15 January 2009.

===Front page===
[[File:Cwcpktwo.GIF|center]]

New logo was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]] and Me. :)

Launched on July 22, 1999

Updated: 1/15/2009

Welcome...

To CWC's PokéSite 2!

To add frames to see my other cool sites, click here! 8)

Enjoy your visit! :)

Please visit again for many Updates, be sure to Bookmark us, and be sure to tell your friends about us, too. And, please sign the Guestbook.

* A Real Pokémon Trading Card Game Section.
* An Art section with drawings from you and me.
* A PokéCheats Section.
* A Downloads section.
* Updated News more often.
* Cool Letters section.
* A Pokémon Card section.
* A Section of cool Links.
* About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.
* Please, Sign my Guestbook.
<gallery>
File:Letr.gif
</gallery>
* And a whole lot more!!!

And, if you want to see the original CWC's PokéSite, here is the link.

===CWC's PokéArt Section===
<center><gallery>
File:Art.gif
</gallery></center>
Clicking this link to brought you to 24 of Chris's homemade Pokémon trading cards, some of the earliest entries in [[The Wall of Originals]].

===CWC's Downloads!===

This page included links to the American and Japanese Pokémon themes. There were also .mpg movies entitled "Pikachu Vs. Raichu", "Ash and Pikachu", and "Team Rocket's Motto". taken from a site called "Pikachu's Place." Finally, under "Programs/Games/Other," one could play five games provided by "Insomniac Pokemon's Top 100 Pokemon Sites."

===CWC's Pokenews===
<center><gallery>
File:Poknews.jpg
</gallery></center>
This was the meat of the website. It included a series of brief updates from the world of Pokémon. Very little of it is original; Chris just relayed information he had read in other publications and sites. There are a few insights into Chris's life during this period. Sometimes homework prevents him from making more frequent updates. He also takes a break during the move from [[Richmond|Midlothian]] to [[Ruckersville]], which he says caused him [[stress]] and a dip in inspiration, excuses which would soon become very familiar to his fans. We see that Chris was apparently very upbeat through 2000 and essentially pre-sexual, his mind focused almost exclusively on his Pokémon hobby. Only in a later update to the site, when he was 22, do we first see references to the [[Lovequest]]. He also assumes that his readers hang on his every word.

"'''The Archive Section!'''" included his earliest stuff, labeled "October, 1999-December, 1999." He introduced it with, "Finally, I am going to start on my own PokéNews section for my PokéSite. I'll start small, but this section will grow...with time."

{{quotebox|
Corrected: My first article: some information about Pokémon Gold/Silver (what Pokémon will you start with?). Information and pics. wereprovided by, Info Gamers' magizine.

'''What Pokémon will you start with in Pokémon Gold/Silver
'''

10/13/99

I was surfing on the internet one day, and I got an E-Mail talking about Info Gamers' magizine's website having the pictures of the three new Pokémon you start with in the new Gold/Silver version. It had an internet address attached to it, which goes to that article.

Anyway, here is the situation, in the Gold/Silver version, you do not get to choose between Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle. You get to choose between a firey hedgehog, Hino-arashi, a timid pear-shaped grass Pokémon, Chicory-ta, and a crocodile that attacks with its teeth and its tail, Wani-noco.

I'll have more information when I get some. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Save yourself a trip to Blockbuster Video! You can print yourself an entry form from Nintendo's Pokémon World!'''

10/14/99

You know that new Pokémon Snap contest where you can win a trip to [[PandaHalo|Austraullia]]? You can save yourself a trip to the store by downloading a copy of the official form from Pokémon World!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Info. on Snubble, Marril, and Donphan!!'''

10/22/99

I found some interesting information on the three Pokémon: Snubble, Marril, and Donphan.

Snubble: The name is a combo of snub-nosed and bulldog. Nintendo's Gail Tilden says that Snubble is very grumpy and has a short fuse.

Marril: This water mouse is already hugely popular in Japan, where the new Pokémon movie first opened, and soon will pop up on the TV show.

Donphan: Tilden says the name is derived from the Japanese word "don," meaning "heavy-footed," and "phan" from elephant. It does a rolling attack and is one of the larger Pokémon.

Source: USA Today.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Dig Into Fossil Deckbuilding Contest!'''

10/28/99

Wizard's of the Coast's Pokémon website is having a contest in which you could win 2 Fossil Booster Boxes, both Fossil Theme Decks, and the Starter Gift Box.

All you have to do is click on the big icon on their website, follow their instructions, enter, and possibly win! It's really a way for those who do not know how to construct their own deck to learn how.}}

{{quotebox|
[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls]].

10/30/99

(Intro.)

For my [[Chris and English|English]] class in late September of this year, I had to write my own myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and a few other people. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''[[Burger King]] Will Have 57 Pokémon!'''

10/13/99, but updated: 11/04/99

That's right! Starting November 8-December 15, Burger Kings of the United States will have 57 Pokémon! And they include my top 2 favorite Pokémon: *Mew*, and *Pikachu*!

The Pokémon Gold thing, is that of six 32k gold cards for $1.99 per card, starting Nov. 15. They feature Pikachu, Mewtwo, Jigglypuff, Poliwhirl, Charizard, and Togepi.

Here's a biggie, the 57 toys will be in a Poké Ball, 1 toy per Kids' Meal, inludes a special Trading Card for each, and catorized for their toy features. And Burger Kings will have a trading night every tuesday for the toys, starting Nov. 23.

The Toy list:

Pikachu. The only plush toy that will talk.

[Here Chris included the list of all 57 toys.]

Click Here to see the big poster.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Pokémon TCG cards from the new movie!'''

10/20/99

Check this out: "In the 'Pokemon The First Movie' promotion, moviegoers will receive, with the purchase of each movie ticket, a randomly selected game card from a collection of four new cards published by Wizards of the Coast. These special new game cards are only available by purchasing a ticket to the movie or by making a $10 purchase at the Warner Bros. Studio Stores, as long as supplies last.

"The new Pokemon cards feature Dragonite, a flying Pokemon messenger; Electabuzz, a wild Pokemon with a short temper; Mewtwo, the violent, genetically engineered creation who challenges Mew for dominance of all Pokemon; and Ash's furry pal Pikachu, the most charming and beloved Pokemon."

Also now a mention of when and how to get a Promo. Mew, from WOTC!!!

Click here to go to Wizard's articles.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!

11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the
information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm sorry; I have not been on the internet lately.'''

Notice!

11/18/99

I'm sorry I have not updated the website as fast as I usually do, but I had to do a lot of [[Manchester High Leaks|homework]]. I'll update the site at least on the weekends; being off the [[internet]] for a while sure makes you miss a lot of things...:)}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Timeline for Pokémon!'''

11/30/99

Here is a current Poké Timeline from the "Business" section of today's [[Richmond]] Times Dispatch.

[Here Chris included a timeline of important Pokemon events from 1996 to Summer 2000.]}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Brand New PokéDex! There is a new website with a PokéDex of the so-called "Pokégods!"'''

A List of the Next 100 Pokémon!

12/15/99

There is a new website with a PokéDex of the "Pokégods" from the new Gold/Silver Versions. Click Here to go to this new website!}}

After the archive, the next series of articles was labeled, "February, 2000-Audgust, 2000." "Here's a big update; the Old News are in the new Archive section! Click on the link on the bottom of the page."

{{quotebox|
Here is a [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentines Day hymn]] I have written for the special day of love. Enjoy! :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''There are Pokémon cards of other Languages! And I'm searching for some cards of a certain language.'''

The Foreign Pokémon Cards are Here!

1/21/2000

I have come across of Pokémon cards in other languages. I have found so far, German and French cards. But, since I take the [[Spanish]] language, I have figured that there may be some Spanish Pokémon cards. If you have any information on Spanish cards, or have any Spanish Booster Paks, Send me an E-Mail at: Itsame CWC@aol.com. Have a nice day. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''UpdatedNew Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards! (2+1 new cards)!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!
11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New! Team Rocket Card List.'''

4/3/2000

The Team Rocket expansion will be coming on April 24th, but the PokéSite has the list to help. The American Team Rocket card list is in the TCG section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Promo. Trainer Card is here! And we have the scoop on it!'''

New! Trainer: Computer Error Card!.

5/29/2000

There is now, for the first time in America, a new Promo Trainer card called: Computer Error. It is a Non-Holo card, and was probably originally a Team Rocket card; by the name, it says: "(Rocket's Secret Machine)."

Find out how to get it in my Promo. Card Section!

And I'm sorry that I have not updated the site lately; too much homework and less inspiration.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Another Promo. card/Where are those updates?
'''

A Coast-to-Coast Promo. card, Eevee!

6/19/2,000

There is a Promo. Card that has been flying around the country (which did not make it to some states), Promo. #11, Eevee! Information on it is in the Promo. Pokémon Section!

Where have those updates been?

I have not been keeping up with the PokéNews Section, because my family and I have been in the moving process from [[Richmond]], VA to [[Ruckersville]], VA. The [[stress]] was keeping me down. But, as soon as we are moved there, I will be updating the PokéSite much more often with PokéNews!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm Back...with updates!'''

I'm Back!

7/17/2000

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the long wait without updates, but my family and I are finally moved to Ruckersville. So the updates will come up more often, now! 8)

To start, there is an update in the Trading Card section: 1st, the new 2000 Movie Promos are listed, including Achient Mew!

I'll keep the updates coming; thanks for coping with me. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Ancitent Mew has been translated!'''

7/22/2000

During the first week of the new Pokémon 2000 Movie, the Anchient Mew Promo. cards will be given to those who go to see the movie.

I translated the A-Mew at the League today. So, for those who do not go to the League, the A-Mew "Details" go as followed:

Name of Attack: Psyche (Requires 2 Psychic Energies).
Hit Points: 30.
Attack Damage: 40.
Retreat Cost: **
Weakness: Psychic.
Resistance: None.

I hope this will help some of you in your TCG card games. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo. Checklist!'''

7/27/2000

Since there are so many Promo. Cards flying about, instead of just a list with details, I have made a simple, printable checklist.

To ease some possible confusion, the "?'s" means that the card of that # has not yet been learned about. And since Ancient Mew does not have a Promo. #, I gave it a #00.

I will update as often as new Promo. Cards come out. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''The League Cool Porygon Rumor is finally comfirmed!'''

New Promos. Coming to the Pokémon TCG League!

8/9/2000

I'm sure that you all have heard about the rumors of there being the *Cool Porygon Promo. card is going to be given out at the TCG League.

Well, I have just found out the truth to the rumor. My source was a small newsletter that was given out at my League at Toys "R" Us, the Pok*eacute;mon Press.

As for the *Cool Porygon, it states in the Newsletter:

"Beginning on September 16th, there will be a final season to round out the first year of the TCG League, Victory Road.

"Only those that earned all 8 Badges will receive a Victory Road booklet. When a Trainer gets 20 points in the Booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Psyduck #?* card. When he or she wins 5 games in a row in the booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Cool Porygon #15* card."

So, earn those badges to catch the $150 card, and a Psyduck. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Heroes Checklist and Deck Contents!'''

Gym Heroes Info!

8/10/2000

I got my Gym Heroes cards a little early, so I put together a new checklist with Level #'s and Deck Contents!

You know those Gym cards only found in the Japanese deck instead of the Booster Paks? I've found out that Wizards took some of those cards, and made them into
Non-Holo Rare cards.

You can find the list in the Pokemon TCG Section!

Oh, the PokéFire is rekindled! 8)}}

The final section of these brief articles covers 29 August - 22 December 2000.

{{quotebox|
'''Coming Soon... A Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2!'''

Coming Soon...

8/29/2000

A [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|new website]] will be coming this Winter. It's a Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2! It will be highlighting my Favorite Home Pokémon, and My Speedy Hero.

Coming This Winter, from CWC's PokéSite 2! is...
<gallery>
File:193-soniclgo.jpg
</gallery>
Sonichu's got a promotion! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
[[File:EarlyBionic.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

9/4/2000

As part of the new Sonichu Site!, there is another character mentioned,
besides Sonichu, he's the Hedgehog that I made up back in November, 1996.
He was also Sonic's Long-Lost, but found, [[Cole Smithey|big brother]]. He is...

Bionic the Hedgehog.

Click on him to read [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|his Story]].}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Badge Theory!'''

New Pokemon TCG League Badges Theory!

9/18/2000

I have a theory about the Pokémon TCG League. Since there are the 8 Badges from the Red-Yellow Versions so far, and Victory Road is coming up, what will come after Victory Road?

I believe that since the Gold/Silver Versions will have many new Badges, the Pokémon TCG League might get those new Badges some time after the Gold/Silver Versions come out.

But do not get your hopes up, yet; it's just a theory of mine. If it does occur, I will post it in the PokéNews! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Gym Card--#19--!'''

9/20/2000

I have just learned about the Promo. #19 card, Sabrina's Abra!

My resouce came from this article of Collecting Nations!, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Sample Sonic Review!'''

Review Sample.

9/28/2000

In the Sonichu Site, there will be Sonic the Hedgehog game Reviews and Previews. So, this month, you will get to see one of its Reviews --Sonic Adventure!

Coming Next Month: Sonichu's Story!}}

Here Chris linked to a boring review of "Sonic Adventure, 1999."

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Pikachu Cards<nowiki>--#'s 24=28--!</nowiki>'''

10/5/2000

I have just learned about the new Pikachu Promo. cards, #'s 24-28!

My resouce came from Wizards of the Coast Site, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. <nowiki>8)</nowiki>

But, for further info, please check the Promo Page!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Challenge!'''

10/7/2000

I have just got a new Checklist of the Gym Challenge cards! It has more of the last 4 Gym Leaders than the first 4. To see the Checklist, go to the Poké Card Section!

A cool thing about it is that it has a couple of the Vending Machine Cards:

*Master Ball

*Max Revive

Maybe Wizards will put the Vending Machine Cards in Future Booster Paks!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Happy Birthday Pikachu Contest!'''

Happy Birthday Pikachu!

12/5/2000

Wizards of the Coast is holding a contest in which you could win a Holo Promo. American Happy Birthday Pikachu card!

The contest deadline is December 10, 2000, and up to 30,000 cards will be awarded.

For more info, go to Wizards' Site! For Pikachu #'s, go to the Promo. list in the Poké Card Section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Get a Marril Pokémon card (Before Neo Comes)!'''

Marril, Marril, Marril!

12/5/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards will have many Pokémon card distribute Marril cards on the 16th. All you have to do is go to the store and ask for
one.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''More exclusive info. on the Marril Card!'''

Marril is a Promo. Card!

12/17/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards had many Pokémon card stores distribute Marril cards on the 16th (and later (while supplies last)). All you have to do is go to the store and ask for one.

This card is really worth the trouble; it's Promo. card #29! For the most current Promo. card checklist, go to my Pokémon Card Section!

There will be a Marill in the Neo set, but it is a lot different than the Promo. #29 card.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Set 1 Checklist!'''

New Neo Set 1 Checklist and Deck Lists!

12/22/2000

I finally got a Neo Deck, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The "Chared" condition is described!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Discovery Set 2 Checklist!
'''

12/22/2000

I Neo Discovery list, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The Unown Rule!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

===Pokemon Cards Section===
{{quotebox|
In this section, we will keep you up-to-date with the latest news in the world of Pokémon Trading Cards.

And if you are interested in trading over the internet...

You can visit the Trading Boards at Collecting Nations. There, you will find many trade offers from me and lots of other people who collect the cards, too! By the way, my name on C.N. is Starplayer.

Here, you will also find the lists of all the known cards in America, which cards ar in the theme decks of now, and the Translated Pokémon Cards from Japan. Information for the cards were brought to you by InQuest Gamer Magazine.

Have a View of the Most Current Rules of the Pokémon Trading Card Game.}}

Chris followed this with a long list of cards and their qualities.

===About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>

This is my current high school picture.

Check out my AOL Profile Page

Alias: Christopher.

'''D.O.B.:''' 2/24/1982.

'''Age:''' 18 years.

'''Occupation:''' Graduated from [[Manchester High School]]! And going to [[PVCC]].

'''Hobbies:'''

* Play video games...Sonic, Mario, and Pokémon mostly.
* Collecting Pokémon Trading Cards.
* I enjoy watching anime. My favorites are:

'''Sonic X
Pokémon
[[Transformers]]
[[Excel Saga]]
[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragonball Z]] or GT'''

* Building with [[LEGO|lego]] pieces to make structures, and vehicles. For example, I built 60 Karts like the ones in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario Kart 64]]. And I drew up my own instructions on how to build one:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* I like to draw and do art projects for my enjoyment. For example, my [[Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon Cards]] in the Art Section.
* I also enjoy all kinds of [[music]]. Except hard rock...:(
* I like to speak a lot of [[Spanish|Español]] when I can, and just to let you know, and to release the possible confusion, my Spanish name is Ricardo.

'''My dream:'''
I dream that [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA|Sega]] will join and make a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for Game Boy. To encourage it, I started making [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|my own Nintendo Power Magazine]], but it is not completed yet; I got as far as to the end of my "Classified Information" section. Here's my drawn cover:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>

'''A Story of Pokémon.'''

I also wrote my own story of How Pokémon came to be. You can read it by clicking here: [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokémon Came Into Our Poké Balls]].

Have a nice day. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

The above autobiographical sketch remained largely unchanged for four years. When Chris was 22, he added "'''Status:''' Single and lonely." Clicking on these words brought one to a new page which consisted of an early list of his girlfriend qualifications. It varies slightly from the one he included in [[Sonichu's News Dash]], produced around the same time. This reflects his shift in priorities: he had discovered [[dating]], and had begun his epic [[Sweetheart Search]].

{{quotebox|
'''The Girl for Christian.
'''

I'm lonely and want a cute female companion.

If you would like to hang with me, I am seeking a girl with the following qualities:

* 18-22 years of age.
* Does not already have a boyfriend.
* Single
* 5' to 5'9"
* Average/Slender weight and body type.
* Does not [[Tobacky|Smoke]] or drink [[Alcohol]]; MAJOR TURN OFF.
* Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area.
* White.
* Happy, positive personality.
* Young at heart.
* Average/High income.
* Drives a vehicle.
* A Caring girl.
* She has to be pretty.

If you wish to learn more about Christian C, look up his"SonichuCWC" profile on [[Match.com]].

If you want to meet me in person at the places I hang out at, I will be wearing a [[medallion]] that looks like Sonichu's head.
<gallery>
File:190-chumedal.jpg
</gallery>
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Actual face will vary.*

* Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.}}

==Now in [[Spanish]]==
[[File:480-ElPokeSiteDeRWC2.JPG|thumb|Note the Dutch/Luxembourgish flag, neither the Netherlands nor Luxembourg being associated with Spanish in any way]]
Chris went to the trouble of translating most of the site into Spanish. He didn't quite finish. Here are some samples:

===Introductory sign (see right)===
{{quotebox|
'''El pokesite de RWC 2'''

¡El Pokésite de R.W.C.!es el website con la información actualizacióna de las noticias del pokémon, el juego de tarjetas de pokemon y es un website bueno con las lenguas inglesa y españolas

Español Rocks!}}

Translation:

{{quotebox|
RWCs Pokesite 2:

RWCs Pokesite is the website with the latest news about Pokemon and the Pokemon TGC and is a good website with the spanish and english languages.

Spanish rocks!}}

===Front page===
[[File:Peridico.jpg|300px|right]]
{{quotebox|
Actualizacioné 15/1/2009

'''¡Bienvenido...'''

Al NUEVO y MEJOR PokéSite de RWC 2!

¿Que es alli a suponer en el nuevo PokéSite?

* Un Verdadero Sección Pokémon Juego de Video.
* Un Sección de Arte con los dibujos de tu' y yo.
* Un Sección de los Claves de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los Downloads.
* Actualizacions Noticias mas menudos.
* Kewl Sección de las Cartas.
* Un sección de las Tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los kewls enlaces.
* Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.
* Por favor, Escribes en mi Huesped Libro.
* ¡¡¡Y muchos mas!!!

Y, si quieres ver el original El PokéSite de RWC, aquí es el enlance.}}

Chris also translated the "About the Author" section. He did not update this translation after turning 18, and so did not identify himself as "Single and lonely" or include a link to girlfriend requirements, as he would in the English-language version.

===Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>
Es mí general foto de mí escuela secundaria.

Sobre del Autor,

Ricardo W. Chandler.

Día de Cumpleaños: 24/2/1982

Edad: Tengo 18 años.

Ocupación: Graduado desde la Escuela Secundaria Manchester.

Hobbys:

* Juego los juegos de videos...Sonic, Mario, y Pokémon muchos.
* Colecciono las tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Construo con las edificas piezas de lego a crear las estructuras, y los vehículos. O ejamplo, yo creé 24 "Karts" como los "karts" en el juego de video, Mario Kart 64. Y yo dibujé lo mío instruccion en comó creo uno:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* Me gusta dibujar y hacer los proyectos para mí goce. O ejamplo, mís fabricació tarjetas de Pokémon en el Sección de Arte.
* Me gusta todas las músicas. Pero, no me gusta la música furete rock...:(
* Normalmente, yo hablo en inglés, me llamo en inglés, Christian.

Mí sueño:
Yo soñé de cuándo Nintendo y Sega van a juntar y crear un juego de video del Sonic el Puerco Espíno para el "Game Boy." Yo animo el por crear lo mío Nintendo Power revista, pero no está completo ahora; yo estoy al fin de mí sección del "Classified Information". Aquí está mí portada de dibujar:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>
Un Cuento de Pokémon.
Yo escribí lo mío cuento de dondé son los Pokémons. El cuento es en inglés. Puedes leer el cuento de hacer clique aquí: Comó los Pokémons Venieron en Nuestros Poké Bolas .

Tienes un bueno día. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

==Guestbook==
Seventeen people signed the website's guestbook. Most of the details of the first seven entries appear to have been lost. Since [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] signed the guestbook of his [[CWC's Pokésite 1|first site]], we can assume that Chris pressured them to sign this one too. On 29 July 1999, seven days after launch, a friend signed and told Chris that she hoped he would continue learning HTML. On 30 September, one Mrs. Johnson signed and said that she knew of "others" who would like his website, and that she would let them know about it. The last ten guests are below. One of them was "Sonichu," who says it's a "terrific site." One was a fellow student. Two were companions from the Pokemon league. The last was from a "friend" from PVCC named Nicole. This is rare evidence of a college peer paying Chris any positive attention whatsoever.

8. '''Name:''' AmerZ-ChaN

'''Website:''' [ sonikku7 seisaku ]

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 1999-12-05 00:39:13

'''Comments:''' Weii!! Cute site ^__^;; keep up the good work, maybe I can see a little more of Jiggly Puff...?^^!! hehe, ish my favorite n_n;

---

9. '''Name:''' Mrs. A Raghu

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Richmond, VA

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 03:55:53

'''Comments:''' Nice Page Christian, Keep up the good work...Pokemon is sooo cute too!! -Mrs. Raghu

---

10. '''Name:''' Jaime

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' richmond

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 19:42:18

'''Comments:''' Hola Recardo! ¿Como estas? This is jaime... in your spanish 2 class... really cool site dude... keep up the good work...

---

11. '''Name:''' Scott

'''Website:''' The Pokemon Deck Doctor

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 2000-01-26 01:53:17

'''Comments:''' Good job on the site! I linked to you.

---

12. '''Name:''' Megan Mitchell

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-03-04 02:39:34

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian, This is [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]]'s sister. Ijust wanted to tell you, you are very good at drawing. Well see ya later. Megan Mitchell

---

13. '''Name:''' Mrs. Dunlap

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Manchester High School

'''Time:''' 2000-03-16 17:36:14

'''Comments:''' It is nice to see how your website looks after adding your new logos. Did you tell Maranda that you used her logos on your site? Nice Work. See you in class tommorrow.

---

14. '''Name:''' Jarrett Deane

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Chesterfield,Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-04-24 01:42:13

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian it's Jarrett from the Poke'mon League. I'll prove it our gym leader is Mark. We go to Books-a-Million. Our gym leader used to be Lynn. See you Saturday.

---

15. '''Name:''' Sonichu

'''Website:''' El PokeSite de RWC 2!

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Poke World

'''Time:''' 2000-07-26 20:06:53

'''Comments:''' Terrific site! 8)

---

16. '''Name:''' Jason

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Charlottesville

'''Time:''' 2000-08-16 03:22:22

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian!! Just checked out your page. Pretty cool!!! I liked the pokemon cards you drew up. Oh, do you know who I am. I met you at the Toys 'R Us league. I beat you with that Moltres stall deck, remember? Good luck at PVCC...and keep the site updated (if you've got time)!! Hasta Lavista, Jason

---

17. '''Name:''' Nicole

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Born in MI, live in VA

'''Time:''' 2000-08-31 04:54:56

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian! Good job! I would never be able to do that. Good luck in all that you do. Your friend from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]- Nicole

==See also==
*[[CWC's Pokésite 1]]
*[[Sonichu.net]]
*[[Spanish]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm Internet Archive mirror]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Defunct websites]]

CWC's Pokésite 2

2025-12-22T19:54:21Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* History */

[[File:Pokesite2 banner.png|center]]

'''CWC's Pokésite 2''' was one of Chris's earliest websites about [[Pokémon]], launched on 22 July [[1999]]. It was created using the web-builder feature on Go.com, a largely unsuccessful web portal made by Disney. [[Chris]] made a poorly-translated Spanish version, which shows that his Spanish name is [[Spanish|Ricardo]] W. Chandler. According to the sign, Chris made [[Espanolic]] the mascot of the Spanish version.

The email listed on the page is itsameCWC@aol.com, probably a reference to the opening splash screen of ''Super [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario]] 64'', where Mario says his iconic phrase: "It's a-me, Mario!".

==History==
In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris proudly proclaims both the [[Spanish]] and [[Chris and English|English]] versions as having been created from "notepad scratch" thanks to his HTML classes. Given the quality of the sites, it is largely assumed that "notepad scratch" is a euphemism for "pulled out of his ass". The website was spawned out of his obsession with ''Pokémon'' and originally featured [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as the mascot.

The site's logo, shown below, was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], one of Chris's high-school [[gal pal|gal-pals]], as a school assignment.

In addition to the demonstrably poor aesthetics, the site also has a number of HTML errors.<ref>See for example [http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.archive.org%2Fweb%2F20010217092458%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fhomepages.go.com%2F~christianchandler%2Fpokste2.htm&charset=%28detect+automatically%29&doctype=Inline&group=0 here]. Errors before line 253 are in the Wayback Machine's toolbar and aren't Chris's fault.</ref> For example, the title image is aligned to the left of the screen, because Chris wrote <code>align=CENTER</code> when he meant <code>align="middle"</code>. This would have been obvious to Chris unless he'd been testing the site on a 640x480 monitor (already obsolete in 2001<ref>http://www.w3schools.com/browsers/browsers_display.asp</ref>), and it would tend to make his work look even less professional to a software engineer who was considering him for a Web-development job.

==Current status==
Since the website has been at various times hosted on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Chris's other fail webspaces]], its current status is the same as theirs, which is to say, inactive and archived. He doubtlessly has a copy hanging around somewhere though, since Chris seems to feel that everything he produces is pure gold.

==Content==
While the site's nominal purpose was to sperg about Pokémon, the content of the site suggests that Chris's ulterior purpose for the site was to sell himself as a cool person and make friends, just as his later [[Sonichu's News Dash]] was ''really'' about attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Chris hoped that there would be extensive community feedback--the art section was for "drawings from you and me," for example. There was also a "Cool Letters" section, which remained vacant. He practically begged people to sign his guestbook, and, of course, there was the prominent "About the Author" section, where Chris's already-enormous [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] was apparent.

This archived edition was last updated on 15 January 2009.

===Front page===
[[File:Cwcpktwo.GIF|center]]

New logo was designed by [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]] and Me. :)

Launched on July 22, 1999

Updated: 1/15/2009

Welcome...

To CWC's PokéSite 2!

To add frames to see my other cool sites, click here! 8)

Enjoy your visit! :)

Please visit again for many Updates, be sure to Bookmark us, and be sure to tell your friends about us, too. And, please sign the Guestbook.

* A Real Pokémon Trading Card Game Section.
* An Art section with drawings from you and me.
* A PokéCheats Section.
* A Downloads section.
* Updated News more often.
* Cool Letters section.
* A Pokémon Card section.
* A Section of cool Links.
* About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.
* Please, Sign my Guestbook.
<gallery>
File:Letr.gif
</gallery>
* And a whole lot more!!!

And, if you want to see the original CWC's PokéSite, here is the link.

===CWC's PokéArt Section===
<center><gallery>
File:Art.gif
</gallery></center>
Clicking this link to brought you to 24 of Chris's homemade Pokémon trading cards, some of the earliest entries in [[The Wall of Originals]].

===CWC's Downloads!===

This page included links to the American and Japanese Pokémon themes. There were also .mpg movies entitled "Pikachu Vs. Raichu", "Ash and Pikachu", and "Team Rocket's Motto". taken from a site called "Pikachu's Place." Finally, under "Programs/Games/Other," one could play five games provided by "Insomniac Pokemon's Top 100 Pokemon Sites."

===CWC's Pokenews===
<center><gallery>
File:Poknews.jpg
</gallery></center>
This was the meat of the website. It included a series of brief updates from the world of Pokémon. Very little of it is original; Chris just relayed information he had read in other publications and sites. There are a few insights into Chris's life during this period. Sometimes homework prevents him from making more frequent updates. He also takes a break during the move from [[Richmond|Midlothian]] to [[Ruckersville]], which he says caused him [[stress]] and a dip in inspiration, excuses which would soon become very familiar to his fans. We see that Chris was apparently very upbeat through 2000 and essentially pre-sexual, his mind focused almost exclusively on his Pokémon hobby. Only in a later update to the site, when he was 22, do we first see references to the [[Lovequest]]. He also assumes that his readers hang on his every word.

"'''The Archive Section!'''" included his earliest stuff, labeled "October, 1999-December, 1999." He introduced it with, "Finally, I am going to start on my own PokéNews section for my PokéSite. I'll start small, but this section will grow...with time."

{{quotebox|
Corrected: My first article: some information about Pokémon Gold/Silver (what Pokémon will you start with?). Information and pics. wereprovided by, Info Gamers' magizine.

'''What Pokémon will you start with in Pokémon Gold/Silver
'''

10/13/99

I was surfing on the internet one day, and I got an E-Mail talking about Info Gamers' magizine's website having the pictures of the three new Pokémon you start with in the new Gold/Silver version. It had an internet address attached to it, which goes to that article.

Anyway, here is the situation, in the Gold/Silver version, you do not get to choose between Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle. You get to choose between a firey hedgehog, Hino-arashi, a timid pear-shaped grass Pokémon, Chicory-ta, and a crocodile that attacks with its teeth and its tail, Wani-noco.

I'll have more information when I get some. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Save yourself a trip to Blockbuster Video! You can print yourself an entry form from Nintendo's Pokémon World!'''

10/14/99

You know that new Pokémon Snap contest where you can win a trip to [[PandaHalo|Austraullia]]? You can save yourself a trip to the store by downloading a copy of the official form from Pokémon World!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Info. on Snubble, Marril, and Donphan!!'''

10/22/99

I found some interesting information on the three Pokémon: Snubble, Marril, and Donphan.

Snubble: The name is a combo of snub-nosed and bulldog. Nintendo's Gail Tilden says that Snubble is very grumpy and has a short fuse.

Marril: This water mouse is already hugely popular in Japan, where the new Pokémon movie first opened, and soon will pop up on the TV show.

Donphan: Tilden says the name is derived from the Japanese word "don," meaning "heavy-footed," and "phan" from elephant. It does a rolling attack and is one of the larger Pokémon.

Source: USA Today.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Dig Into Fossil Deckbuilding Contest!'''

10/28/99

Wizard's of the Coast's Pokémon website is having a contest in which you could win 2 Fossil Booster Boxes, both Fossil Theme Decks, and the Starter Gift Box.

All you have to do is click on the big icon on their website, follow their instructions, enter, and possibly win! It's really a way for those who do not know how to construct their own deck to learn how.}}

{{quotebox|
[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls]].

10/30/99

(Intro.)

For my [[Chris and English|English]] class in late September of this year, I had to write my own myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how Pokémon came to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and a few other people. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''[[Burger King]] Will Have 57 Pokémon!'''

10/13/99, but updated: 11/04/99

That's right! Starting November 8-December 15, Burger Kings of the United States will have 57 Pokémon! And they include my top 2 favorite Pokémon: *Mew*, and *Pikachu*!

The Pokémon Gold thing, is that of six 32k gold cards for $1.99 per card, starting Nov. 15. They feature Pikachu, Mewtwo, Jigglypuff, Poliwhirl, Charizard, and Togepi.

Here's a biggie, the 57 toys will be in a Poké Ball, 1 toy per Kids' Meal, inludes a special Trading Card for each, and catorized for their toy features. And Burger Kings will have a trading night every tuesday for the toys, starting Nov. 23.

The Toy list:

Pikachu. The only plush toy that will talk.

[Here Chris included the list of all 57 toys.]

Click Here to see the big poster.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Pokémon TCG cards from the new movie!'''

10/20/99

Check this out: "In the 'Pokemon The First Movie' promotion, moviegoers will receive, with the purchase of each movie ticket, a randomly selected game card from a collection of four new cards published by Wizards of the Coast. These special new game cards are only available by purchasing a ticket to the movie or by making a $10 purchase at the Warner Bros. Studio Stores, as long as supplies last.

"The new Pokemon cards feature Dragonite, a flying Pokemon messenger; Electabuzz, a wild Pokemon with a short temper; Mewtwo, the violent, genetically engineered creation who challenges Mew for dominance of all Pokemon; and Ash's furry pal Pikachu, the most charming and beloved Pokemon."

Also now a mention of when and how to get a Promo. Mew, from WOTC!!!

Click here to go to Wizard's articles.}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!

11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the
information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm sorry; I have not been on the internet lately.'''

Notice!

11/18/99

I'm sorry I have not updated the website as fast as I usually do, but I had to do a lot of [[Manchester High Leaks|homework]]. I'll update the site at least on the weekends; being off the [[internet]] for a while sure makes you miss a lot of things...:)}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Timeline for Pokémon!'''

11/30/99

Here is a current Poké Timeline from the "Business" section of today's [[Richmond]] Times Dispatch.

[Here Chris included a timeline of important Pokemon events from 1996 to Summer 2000.]}}

{{quotebox|
'''A Brand New PokéDex! There is a new website with a PokéDex of the so-called "Pokégods!"'''

A List of the Next 100 Pokémon!

12/15/99

There is a new website with a PokéDex of the "Pokégods" from the new Gold/Silver Versions. Click Here to go to this new website!}}

After the archive, the next series of articles was labeled, "February, 2000-Audgust, 2000." "Here's a big update; the Old News are in the new Archive section! Click on the link on the bottom of the page."

{{quotebox|
Here is a [[Valentines Day Hymn|Valentines Day hymn]] I have written for the special day of love. Enjoy! :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''There are Pokémon cards of other Languages! And I'm searching for some cards of a certain language.'''

The Foreign Pokémon Cards are Here!

1/21/2000

I have come across of Pokémon cards in other languages. I have found so far, German and French cards. But, since I take the [[Spanish]] language, I have figured that there may be some Spanish Pokémon cards. If you have any information on Spanish cards, or have any Spanish Booster Paks, Send me an E-Mail at: Itsame CWC@aol.com. Have a nice day. :)}}

{{quotebox|
'''UpdatedNew Promo Card list is in my section of Pokémon cards! (2+1 new cards)!'''

Starting on the list of Promos for America!
11/16/99...3/3/2000...3/13/2000...4/2/2000

That's right, in my Pokémon Trading Card section, is a list of the current Promo cards from Wizards, and how to get them. I'll keep you all up-to-date as the information comes in.

Now we know of a Holo Mew, a Holo Meowth, a new Venusaur, and a Holo Porygon!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New! Team Rocket Card List.'''

4/3/2000

The Team Rocket expansion will be coming on April 24th, but the PokéSite has the list to help. The American Team Rocket card list is in the TCG section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Promo. Trainer Card is here! And we have the scoop on it!'''

New! Trainer: Computer Error Card!.

5/29/2000

There is now, for the first time in America, a new Promo Trainer card called: Computer Error. It is a Non-Holo card, and was probably originally a Team Rocket card; by the name, it says: "(Rocket's Secret Machine)."

Find out how to get it in my Promo. Card Section!

And I'm sorry that I have not updated the site lately; too much homework and less inspiration.}}

{{quotebox|
'''Another Promo. card/Where are those updates?
'''

A Coast-to-Coast Promo. card, Eevee!

6/19/2,000

There is a Promo. Card that has been flying around the country (which did not make it to some states), Promo. #11, Eevee! Information on it is in the Promo. Pokémon Section!

Where have those updates been?

I have not been keeping up with the PokéNews Section, because my family and I have been in the moving process from [[Richmond]], VA to [[Ruckersville]], VA. The [[stress]] was keeping me down. But, as soon as we are moved there, I will be updating the PokéSite much more often with PokéNews!}}

{{quotebox|
'''I'm Back...with updates!'''

I'm Back!

7/17/2000

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the long wait without updates, but my family and I are finally moved to Ruckersville. So the updates will come up more often, now! 8)

To start, there is an update in the Trading Card section: 1st, the new 2000 Movie Promos are listed, including Achient Mew!

I'll keep the updates coming; thanks for coping with me. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Ancitent Mew has been translated!'''

7/22/2000

During the first week of the new Pokémon 2000 Movie, the Anchient Mew Promo. cards will be given to those who go to see the movie.

I translated the A-Mew at the League today. So, for those who do not go to the League, the A-Mew "Details" go as followed:

Name of Attack: Psyche (Requires 2 Psychic Energies).
Hit Points: 30.
Attack Damage: 40.
Retreat Cost: **
Weakness: Psychic.
Resistance: None.

I hope this will help some of you in your TCG card games. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo. Checklist!'''

7/27/2000

Since there are so many Promo. Cards flying about, instead of just a list with details, I have made a simple, printable checklist.

To ease some possible confusion, the "?'s" means that the card of that # has not yet been learned about. And since Ancient Mew does not have a Promo. #, I gave it a #00.

I will update as often as new Promo. Cards come out. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''The League Cool Porygon Rumor is finally comfirmed!'''

New Promos. Coming to the Pokémon TCG League!

8/9/2000

I'm sure that you all have heard about the rumors of there being the *Cool Porygon Promo. card is going to be given out at the TCG League.

Well, I have just found out the truth to the rumor. My source was a small newsletter that was given out at my League at Toys "R" Us, the Pok*eacute;mon Press.

As for the *Cool Porygon, it states in the Newsletter:

"Beginning on September 16th, there will be a final season to round out the first year of the TCG League, Victory Road.

"Only those that earned all 8 Badges will receive a Victory Road booklet. When a Trainer gets 20 points in the Booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Psyduck #?* card. When he or she wins 5 games in a row in the booklet, he or she will receive one *Promo. Cool Porygon #15* card."

So, earn those badges to catch the $150 card, and a Psyduck. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Heroes Checklist and Deck Contents!'''

Gym Heroes Info!

8/10/2000

I got my Gym Heroes cards a little early, so I put together a new checklist with Level #'s and Deck Contents!

You know those Gym cards only found in the Japanese deck instead of the Booster Paks? I've found out that Wizards took some of those cards, and made them into
Non-Holo Rare cards.

You can find the list in the Pokemon TCG Section!

Oh, the PokéFire is rekindled! 8)}}

The final section of these brief articles covers 29 August - 22 December 2000.

{{quotebox|
'''Coming Soon... A Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2!'''

Coming Soon...

8/29/2000

A [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|new website]] will be coming this Winter. It's a Spinoff from CWC's PokéSite 2! It will be highlighting my Favorite Home Pokémon, and My Speedy Hero.

Coming This Winter, from CWC's PokéSite 2! is...
<gallery>
File:193-soniclgo.jpg
</gallery>
Sonichu's got a promotion! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
[[File:EarlyBionic.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

9/4/2000

As part of the new Sonichu Site!, there is another character mentioned,
besides Sonichu, he's the Hedgehog that I made up back in November, 1996.
He was also Sonic's Long-Lost, but found, [[Cole Smithey|big brother]]. He is...

Bionic the Hedgehog.

Click on him to read [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|his Story]].}}

{{quotebox|
'''A New Badge Theory!'''

New Pokemon TCG League Badges Theory!

9/18/2000

I have a theory about the Pokémon TCG League. Since there are the 8 Badges from the Red-Yellow Versions so far, and Victory Road is coming up, what will come after Victory Road?

I believe that since the Gold/Silver Versions will have many new Badges, the Pokémon TCG League might get those new Badges some time after the Gold/Silver Versions come out.

But do not get your hopes up, yet; it's just a theory of mine. If it does occur, I will post it in the PokéNews! 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Gym Card--#19--!'''

9/20/2000

I have just learned about the Promo. #19 card, Sabrina's Abra!

My resouce came from this article of Collecting Nations!, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. 8)}}

{{quotebox|
'''Sample Sonic Review!'''

Review Sample.

9/28/2000

In the Sonichu Site, there will be Sonic the Hedgehog game Reviews and Previews. So, this month, you will get to see one of its Reviews --Sonic Adventure!

Coming Next Month: Sonichu's Story!}}

Here Chris linked to a boring review of "Sonic Adventure, 1999."

{{quotebox|
'''New Promo Pikachu Cards<nowiki>--#'s 24=28--!</nowiki>'''

10/5/2000

I have just learned about the new Pikachu Promo. cards, #'s 24-28!

My resouce came from Wizards of the Coast Site, and I have updated the Promo. Checklist. <nowiki>8)</nowiki>

But, for further info, please check the Promo Page!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Gym Challenge!'''

10/7/2000

I have just got a new Checklist of the Gym Challenge cards! It has more of the last 4 Gym Leaders than the first 4. To see the Checklist, go to the Poké Card Section!

A cool thing about it is that it has a couple of the Vending Machine Cards:

*Master Ball

*Max Revive

Maybe Wizards will put the Vending Machine Cards in Future Booster Paks!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Happy Birthday Pikachu Contest!'''

Happy Birthday Pikachu!

12/5/2000

Wizards of the Coast is holding a contest in which you could win a Holo Promo. American Happy Birthday Pikachu card!

The contest deadline is December 10, 2000, and up to 30,000 cards will be awarded.

For more info, go to Wizards' Site! For Pikachu #'s, go to the Promo. list in the Poké Card Section!}}

{{quotebox|
'''Get a Marril Pokémon card (Before Neo Comes)!'''

Marril, Marril, Marril!

12/5/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards will have many Pokémon card distribute Marril cards on the 16th. All you have to do is go to the store and ask for
one.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''More exclusive info. on the Marril Card!'''

Marril is a Promo. Card!

12/17/2000

In honer of the upcoming Neo Genesis set, Wizards had many Pokémon card stores distribute Marril cards on the 16th (and later (while supplies last)). All you have to do is go to the store and ask for one.

This card is really worth the trouble; it's Promo. card #29! For the most current Promo. card checklist, go to my Pokémon Card Section!

There will be a Marill in the Neo set, but it is a lot different than the Promo. #29 card.

For info. on where to get the Marril card, go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Set 1 Checklist!'''

New Neo Set 1 Checklist and Deck Lists!

12/22/2000

I finally got a Neo Deck, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The "Chared" condition is described!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

{{quotebox|
'''New Neo Discovery Set 2 Checklist!
'''

12/22/2000

I Neo Discovery list, so I put up the new check and Deck Lists. Check them out in my Pokémon Card Section.

See Also, the Updated Rules! The Unown Rule!

For more info., go to Wizard's Site!}}

===Pokemon Cards Section===
{{quotebox|
In this section, we will keep you up-to-date with the latest news in the world of Pokémon Trading Cards.

And if you are interested in trading over the internet...

You can visit the Trading Boards at Collecting Nations. There, you will find many trade offers from me and lots of other people who collect the cards, too! By the way, my name on C.N. is Starplayer.

Here, you will also find the lists of all the known cards in America, which cards ar in the theme decks of now, and the Translated Pokémon Cards from Japan. Information for the cards were brought to you by InQuest Gamer Magazine.

Have a View of the Most Current Rules of the Pokémon Trading Card Game.}}

Chris followed this with a long list of cards and their qualities.

===About the Author: Christian W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>

This is my current high school picture.

Check out my AOL Profile Page

Alias: Christopher.

'''D.O.B.:''' 2/24/1982.

'''Age:''' 18 years.

'''Occupation:''' Graduated from [[Manchester High School]]! And going to [[PVCC]].

'''Hobbies:'''

* Play video games...Sonic, Mario, and Pokémon mostly.
* Collecting Pokémon Trading Cards.
* I enjoy watching anime. My favorites are:

'''Sonic X
Pokémon
[[Transformers]]
[[Excel Saga]]
[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragonball Z]] or GT'''

* Building with [[LEGO|lego]] pieces to make structures, and vehicles. For example, I built 60 Karts like the ones in [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario Kart 64]]. And I drew up my own instructions on how to build one:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* I like to draw and do art projects for my enjoyment. For example, my [[Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon Cards]] in the Art Section.
* I also enjoy all kinds of [[music]]. Except hard rock...:(
* I like to speak a lot of [[Spanish|Español]] when I can, and just to let you know, and to release the possible confusion, my Spanish name is Ricardo.

'''My dream:'''
I dream that [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA|Sega]] will join and make a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for Game Boy. To encourage it, I started making [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|my own Nintendo Power Magazine]], but it is not completed yet; I got as far as to the end of my "Classified Information" section. Here's my drawn cover:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>

'''A Story of Pokémon.'''

I also wrote my own story of How Pokémon came to be. You can read it by clicking here: [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokémon Came Into Our Poké Balls]].

Have a nice day. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

The above autobiographical sketch remained largely unchanged for four years. When Chris was 22, he added "'''Status:''' Single and lonely." Clicking on these words brought one to a new page which consisted of an early list of his girlfriend qualifications. It varies slightly from the one he included in [[Sonichu's News Dash]], produced around the same time. This reflects his shift in priorities: he had discovered [[dating]], and had begun his epic [[Sweetheart Search]].

{{quotebox|
'''The Girl for Christian.
'''

I'm lonely and want a cute female companion.

If you would like to hang with me, I am seeking a girl with the following qualities:

* 18-22 years of age.
* Does not already have a boyfriend.
* Single
* 5' to 5'9"
* Average/Slender weight and body type.
* Does not [[Tobacky|Smoke]] or drink [[Alcohol]]; MAJOR TURN OFF.
* Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area.
* White.
* Happy, positive personality.
* Young at heart.
* Average/High income.
* Drives a vehicle.
* A Caring girl.
* She has to be pretty.

If you wish to learn more about Christian C, look up his"SonichuCWC" profile on [[Match.com]].

If you want to meet me in person at the places I hang out at, I will be wearing a [[medallion]] that looks like Sonichu's head.
<gallery>
File:190-chumedal.jpg
</gallery>
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Actual face will vary.*

* Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.}}

==Now in [[Spanish]]==
[[File:480-ElPokeSiteDeRWC2.JPG|thumb|Note the Dutch/Luxembourgish flag, neither the Netherlands nor Luxembourg being associated with Spanish in any way]]
Chris went to the trouble of translating most of the site into Spanish. He didn't quite finish. Here are some samples:

===Introductory sign (see right)===
{{quotebox|
'''El pokesite de RWC 2'''

¡El Pokésite de R.W.C.!es el website con la información actualizacióna de las noticias del pokémon, el juego de tarjetas de pokemon y es un website bueno con las lenguas inglesa y españolas

Español Rocks!}}

Translation:

{{quotebox|
RWCs Pokesite 2:

RWCs Pokesite is the website with the latest news about Pokemon and the Pokemon TGC and is a good website with the spanish and english languages.

Spanish rocks!}}

===Front page===
[[File:Peridico.jpg|300px|right]]
{{quotebox|
Actualizacioné 15/1/2009

'''¡Bienvenido...'''

Al NUEVO y MEJOR PokéSite de RWC 2!

¿Que es alli a suponer en el nuevo PokéSite?

* Un Verdadero Sección Pokémon Juego de Video.
* Un Sección de Arte con los dibujos de tu' y yo.
* Un Sección de los Claves de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los Downloads.
* Actualizacions Noticias mas menudos.
* Kewl Sección de las Cartas.
* Un sección de las Tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Un sección de los kewls enlaces.
* Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.
* Por favor, Escribes en mi Huesped Libro.
* ¡¡¡Y muchos mas!!!

Y, si quieres ver el original El PokéSite de RWC, aquí es el enlance.}}

Chris also translated the "About the Author" section. He did not update this translation after turning 18, and so did not identify himself as "Single and lonely" or include a link to girlfriend requirements, as he would in the English-language version.

===Sobre del Autor: Ricardo W. Chandler.===
{{quotebox|
<gallery>
File:CWC12.png
</gallery>
Es mí general foto de mí escuela secundaria.

Sobre del Autor,

Ricardo W. Chandler.

Día de Cumpleaños: 24/2/1982

Edad: Tengo 18 años.

Ocupación: Graduado desde la Escuela Secundaria Manchester.

Hobbys:

* Juego los juegos de videos...Sonic, Mario, y Pokémon muchos.
* Colecciono las tarjetas de Pokémon.
* Construo con las edificas piezas de lego a crear las estructuras, y los vehículos. O ejamplo, yo creé 24 "Karts" como los "karts" en el juego de video, Mario Kart 64. Y yo dibujé lo mío instruccion en comó creo uno:
<gallery>
File:400-LegKrt1.jpg
File:401-LegKrt2.jpg
</gallery>
* Me gusta dibujar y hacer los proyectos para mí goce. O ejamplo, mís fabricació tarjetas de Pokémon en el Sección de Arte.
* Me gusta todas las músicas. Pero, no me gusta la música furete rock...:(
* Normalmente, yo hablo en inglés, me llamo en inglés, Christian.

Mí sueño:
Yo soñé de cuándo Nintendo y Sega van a juntar y crear un juego de video del Sonic el Puerco Espíno para el "Game Boy." Yo animo el por crear lo mío Nintendo Power revista, pero no está completo ahora; yo estoy al fin de mí sección del "Classified Information". Aquí está mí portada de dibujar:
<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
</gallery>
Un Cuento de Pokémon.
Yo escribí lo mío cuento de dondé son los Pokémons. El cuento es en inglés. Puedes leer el cuento de hacer clique aquí: Comó los Pokémons Venieron en Nuestros Poké Bolas .

Tienes un bueno día. :)

I\_/I
(o'.'o) ..;;;
{; ;}.;;;''
" "'''}}

==Guestbook==
Seventeen people signed the website's guestbook. Most of the details of the first seven entries appear to have been lost. Since [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] signed the guestbook of his [[CWC's Pokésite 1|first site]], we can assume that Chris pressured them to sign this one too. On 29 July 1999, seven days after launch, a friend signed and told Chris that she hoped he would continue learning HTML. On 30 September, one Mrs. Johnson signed and said that she knew of "others" who would like his website, and that she would let them know about it. The last ten guests are below. One of them was "Sonichu," who says it's a "terrific site." One was a fellow student. Two were companions from the Pokemon league. The last was from a "friend" from PVCC named Nicole. This is rare evidence of a college peer paying Chris any positive attention whatsoever.

8. '''Name:''' AmerZ-ChaN

'''Website:''' [ sonikku7 seisaku ]

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 1999-12-05 00:39:13

'''Comments:''' Weii!! Cute site ^__^;; keep up the good work, maybe I can see a little more of Jiggly Puff...?^^!! hehe, ish my favorite n_n;

---

9. '''Name:''' Mrs. A Raghu

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Richmond, VA

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 03:55:53

'''Comments:''' Nice Page Christian, Keep up the good work...Pokemon is sooo cute too!! -Mrs. Raghu

---

10. '''Name:''' Jaime

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' richmond

'''Time:''' 2000-01-22 19:42:18

'''Comments:''' Hola Recardo! ¿Como estas? This is jaime... in your spanish 2 class... really cool site dude... keep up the good work...

---

11. '''Name:''' Scott

'''Website:''' The Pokemon Deck Doctor

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''Time:''' 2000-01-26 01:53:17

'''Comments:''' Good job on the site! I linked to you.

---

12. '''Name:''' Megan Mitchell

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-03-04 02:39:34

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian, This is [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Mitchell]]'s sister. Ijust wanted to tell you, you are very good at drawing. Well see ya later. Megan Mitchell

---

13. '''Name:''' Mrs. Dunlap

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Manchester High School

'''Time:''' 2000-03-16 17:36:14

'''Comments:''' It is nice to see how your website looks after adding your new logos. Did you tell Maranda that you used her logos on your site? Nice Work. See you in class tommorrow.

---

14. '''Name:''' Jarrett Deane

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Chesterfield,Virginia

'''Time:''' 2000-04-24 01:42:13

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian it's Jarrett from the Poke'mon League. I'll prove it our gym leader is Mark. We go to Books-a-Million. Our gym leader used to be Lynn. See you Saturday.

---

15. '''Name:''' Sonichu

'''Website:''' El PokeSite de RWC 2!

'''Referred by:''' Just Surfed On In

'''From:''' Poke World

'''Time:''' 2000-07-26 20:06:53

'''Comments:''' Terrific site! 8)

---

16. '''Name:''' Jason

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Charlottesville

'''Time:''' 2000-08-16 03:22:22

'''Comments:''' Hey Christian!! Just checked out your page. Pretty cool!!! I liked the pokemon cards you drew up. Oh, do you know who I am. I met you at the Toys 'R Us league. I beat you with that Moltres stall deck, remember? Good luck at PVCC...and keep the site updated (if you've got time)!! Hasta Lavista, Jason

---

17. '''Name:''' Nicole

'''Referred by:''' From a Friend

'''From:''' Born in MI, live in VA

'''Time:''' 2000-08-31 04:54:56

'''Comments:''' Hi Christian! Good job! I would never be able to do that. Good luck in all that you do. Your friend from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]- Nicole

==See also==
*[[CWC's Pokésite 1]]
*[[Sonichu.net]]
*[[Spanish]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm Internet Archive mirror]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Defunct websites]]

Sandy Rosechu

2025-12-22T19:30:11Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* During Hiatus */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sandy Samantha Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 9 August 2008 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Height'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Ground/Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Wild Sonichu]] and [[Simonla Rosechu]]
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] (Soft Sand)
|}
{{quote|Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|Sandy, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}

'''Sandy Samantha "[[Sammy]]" Rosechu''' is the bastard daughter of [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Wild Sonichu]], with many of the same design elements as the former and none of the latter, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. Thanks to her father's lust for vengeance overpowering any sort of paternal instincts, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age thanks to her training, and is later shown to not only be ludicrously hostile towards [[JERKS|males]] for seemingly no reason, but also eager to murder anybody that calls her by any form of her middle name. Despite being robbed of her childhood and trained in the art of killing, nobody in [[CWCville]] seems to object to her upbringing, and so the child soldier walks unattended, searching for her next target.

==Sonichu 10==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."|Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need}}

In [[February 2010]] Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers caring about [[Sonee & Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Being sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy" (it was actually [[Alec]])<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_79 79]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 84]</ref>

Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand. According to Chris's [[CWCipedia]] ramblings on [[Rosechu (species)#Rosechus and evolution|Rosechu evolution]], a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. This provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#Rosechu.27s_Evolution Rosechu's Evolution]; ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_85 p. 85].</ref> It is likely that her name is related to the role of sand in her evolution. The fact that this means Wild essentially stole his daughter's childhood and ''forced'' her to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in [[Sonichu 10]].

By the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. [[Chris and the Law|Naturally]], all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying psychopathic tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killing blow together.<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 86]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_92 92].</ref> If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the [[Chris and reality|CWCiverse]], Sandy's grandfather.

==During Hiatus==
{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}

Sandy was basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she was little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic ''THIRST! FOR! BLOOD!'' Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 page 86]</ref>.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], she is a good friend of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] and in the years prior, attended [[Barbara Chandler|Anneweston Elementary School]] with them.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref>

[[File:Lego Sandy.jpg|thumb|right|[[LEGO]] Sandy.]]
In the years the comic lied dormant after the conclusion of Sonichu 10, it was a mystery if Sandy would be a recurring or regular character, or if she'd get sent to [[the Moon]]. Readers speculated that if she became a recurrent character, she'd probably follow in her mother's footsteps and devolve into [[Women's rights|yet another soulless husk]] who lived only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.

On 24 [[May 2014]], Chris revealed on Facebook that Sandy's mother [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|had come back from the dead]] to rather negative, and later indifferent reception. Readers pondered if this was good news for Sandy as her mother was now alive, or bad news because it meant she was completely pointless now and would be relegated to obscurity. However, readers seemed to underestimate Chris' emotional attachment to his hedgehog "family" and didn't realize that now that Sandy was a part of his delusions, Chris would never let her disappear as long as he lived.

==Sonichu 11==
After years of inactivity, the Sonichu Christmas Special came back from hiatus. It was revealed that Simonla had a powerful healing factor and her bones were made from a powerful metal named "Simatanium" in her honor. Between February and December of that year, Simonla was in and out of the hospital recovering, confined to a wheelchair for most of the later months. Sandy had limited interaction with her mother during the time due to her hospitalization, but after her mother fully recovered on Christmas Day, Simonla finally returned home, and Sandy was able to bond the mother that was almost taken from her.

The grisly, gruesome murder Sandy was forced to commit by her father had now been erased from history, and instead her mother's attackers were sent to live in Amish Country. This is mostly because trolls convinced Chris to backtrack on the gorey ending of Sonichu 10, but also partly because he probably realized it was extremely fucked up to have an adult instruct a child to drill a man's cock off.

Later, Sandy was the first to see her uncle, Simonchu, when he visited their home. Despite Simonchu having very little to do with Simonla's assault, Sandy still went into a psychotic rage and threatened to murder Simonchu. While in light of the recent retcons this may seem like an overreaction, later issues seem to imply Chris' OCs retain memories of previous timelines, which might explain why she's still so fucking psycho.

Simonla manages to calm her crazy ass daughter down, and after Simonchu explains the situation and how he had basically nothing to do with the attack on his sister, Sandy began to warm up to Simonchu. The two later bonded while exploring fossils.

==Later Issues==
Afterwards, Sandy had very little to do in the comics. Chris would occasionally mention her in passing or have her in a crowd shot. Just like he said on the Cwcipedia, Sandy was revealed to go to school with Sonichu's kids and be friends with them, even attending the SLGBT Pride festival together. While initially readers speculated that Simonla's return would reduce Sandy to an extremely minor role in the comic, Simonla was also relegated to the same level of obscurity, making them both equally pointless.

In [[Sonichu 13]], Simonla's family home is destroyed when the tunnels she dug under CWCville collapse. Sandy, her mother and all her female friends were kidnapped by [[Nazis]], and they were then all gang-raped by Nazi prison guards and forcibly impregnated by Nazi Sonichus to breed new soldiers for their dwindling army. They were all rescued when Chris and an ally brutally slaughtered all the Nazi guards. This horrific event undoubtedly further traumatized her already horribly scarred psyche.

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sandy Rosechu

2025-12-22T19:28:27Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* During Hiatus */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sandy Samantha Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 9 August 2008 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Height'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Ground/Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Wild Sonichu]] and [[Simonla Rosechu]]
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] (Soft Sand)
|}
{{quote|Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|Sandy, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}

'''Sandy Samantha "[[Sammy]]" Rosechu''' is the bastard daughter of [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Wild Sonichu]], with many of the same design elements as the former and none of the latter, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. Thanks to her father's lust for vengeance overpowering any sort of paternal instincts, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age thanks to her training, and is later shown to not only be ludicrously hostile towards [[JERKS|males]] for seemingly no reason, but also eager to murder anybody that calls her by any form of her middle name. Despite being robbed of her childhood and trained in the art of killing, nobody in [[CWCville]] seems to object to her upbringing, and so the child soldier walks unattended, searching for her next target.

==Sonichu 10==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."|Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need}}

In [[February 2010]] Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers caring about [[Sonee & Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Being sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy" (it was actually [[Alec]])<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_79 79]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 84]</ref>

Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand. According to Chris's [[CWCipedia]] ramblings on [[Rosechu (species)#Rosechus and evolution|Rosechu evolution]], a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. This provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#Rosechu.27s_Evolution Rosechu's Evolution]; ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_85 p. 85].</ref> It is likely that her name is related to the role of sand in her evolution. The fact that this means Wild essentially stole his daughter's childhood and ''forced'' her to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in [[Sonichu 10]].

By the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. [[Chris and the Law|Naturally]], all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying psychopathic tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killing blow together.<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 86]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_92 92].</ref> If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the [[Chris and reality|CWCiverse]], Sandy's grandfather.

==During Hiatus==
{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}

Sandy was basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she was little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic ''THIRST! FOR! BLOOD!'' Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 page 86]</ref>.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], she is a good friend of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] and in the years prior, attended [[Barbara Chandler|Anneweston Elementary School]] with them.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref>

[[File:Lego Sandy.jpg|thumb|right|[[LEGO]] Sandy.]]
In the years the comic lied dormant after the conclusion of Sonichu 10, it was a mystery if Sandy would be a recurring or regular character, or if she'd get sent to [[the Moon]]. Readers speculated that if she became a recurrent character, she'd probably follow in her mother's footsteps and devolve into [[Women's rights|yet another soulless husk]] who lived only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.

On 24 [[May 2014]], Chris revealed on Facebook that Sandy's mother [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|had come back from the dead]] to rather negative, and later indifferent reception. Readers pondered if this was good news for Sandy as her mother was now alive, or bad news because it meant she was completely pointless now and would be religated to obscurity. However, readers seemed to underestimate Chris' emotional attachment to his hedgehog "family" and didn't realize that now that Sandy was a part of his insane coping mechanism, Chris would never let her disappear as long as he lived.

==Sonichu 11==
After years of inactivity, the Sonichu Christmas Special came back from hiatus. It was revealed that Simonla had a powerful healing factor and her bones were made from a powerful metal named "Simatanium" in her honor. Between February and December of that year, Simonla was in and out of the hospital recovering, confined to a wheelchair for most of the later months. Sandy had limited interaction with her mother during the time due to her hospitalization, but after her mother fully recovered on Christmas Day, Simonla finally returned home, and Sandy was able to bond the mother that was almost taken from her.

The grisly, gruesome murder Sandy was forced to commit by her father had now been erased from history, and instead her mother's attackers were sent to live in Amish Country. This is mostly because trolls convinced Chris to backtrack on the gorey ending of Sonichu 10, but also partly because he probably realized it was extremely fucked up to have an adult instruct a child to drill a man's cock off.

Later, Sandy was the first to see her uncle, Simonchu, when he visited their home. Despite Simonchu having very little to do with Simonla's assault, Sandy still went into a psychotic rage and threatened to murder Simonchu. While in light of the recent retcons this may seem like an overreaction, later issues seem to imply Chris' OCs retain memories of previous timelines, which might explain why she's still so fucking psycho.

Simonla manages to calm her crazy ass daughter down, and after Simonchu explains the situation and how he had basically nothing to do with the attack on his sister, Sandy began to warm up to Simonchu. The two later bonded while exploring fossils.

==Later Issues==
Afterwards, Sandy had very little to do in the comics. Chris would occasionally mention her in passing or have her in a crowd shot. Just like he said on the Cwcipedia, Sandy was revealed to go to school with Sonichu's kids and be friends with them, even attending the SLGBT Pride festival together. While initially readers speculated that Simonla's return would reduce Sandy to an extremely minor role in the comic, Simonla was also relegated to the same level of obscurity, making them both equally pointless.

In [[Sonichu 13]], Simonla's family home is destroyed when the tunnels she dug under CWCville collapse. Sandy, her mother and all her female friends were kidnapped by [[Nazis]], and they were then all gang-raped by Nazi prison guards and forcibly impregnated by Nazi Sonichus to breed new soldiers for their dwindling army. They were all rescued when Chris and an ally brutally slaughtered all the Nazi guards. This horrific event undoubtedly further traumatized her already horribly scarred psyche.

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Sandy Rosechu

2025-12-22T19:24:53Z

HurdyGurdsen: /* Sonichu 10 */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sandy Samantha Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 9 August 2008 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Height'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Ground/Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Wild Sonichu]] and [[Simonla Rosechu]]
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] (Soft Sand)
|}
{{quote|Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|Sandy, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}

'''Sandy Samantha "[[Sammy]]" Rosechu''' is the bastard daughter of [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Wild Sonichu]], with many of the same design elements as the former and none of the latter, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. Thanks to her father's lust for vengeance overpowering any sort of paternal instincts, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age thanks to her training, and is later shown to not only be ludicrously hostile towards [[JERKS|males]] for seemingly no reason, but also eager to murder anybody that calls her by any form of her middle name. Despite being robbed of her childhood and trained in the art of killing, nobody in [[CWCville]] seems to object to her upbringing, and so the child soldier walks unattended, searching for her next target.

==Sonichu 10==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."|Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need}}

In [[February 2010]] Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers caring about [[Sonee & Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Being sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy" (it was actually [[Alec]])<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_79 79]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_84 84]</ref>

Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand. According to Chris's [[CWCipedia]] ramblings on [[Rosechu (species)#Rosechus and evolution|Rosechu evolution]], a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. This provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#Rosechu.27s_Evolution Rosechu's Evolution]; ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_85 p. 85].</ref> It is likely that her name is related to the role of sand in her evolution. The fact that this means Wild essentially stole his daughter's childhood and ''forced'' her to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in [[Sonichu 10]].

By the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. [[Chris and the Law|Naturally]], all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying psychopathic tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killing blow together.<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 86]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_92 92].</ref> If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the [[Chris and reality|CWCiverse]], Sandy's grandfather.

==During Hiatus==
{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}

Sandy was basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she was little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic ''THIRST! FOR! BLOOD!'' Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 page 86]</ref> (which, fortunately, was very little/completely offscreen, and hopefully not also [[Chris and sex#Incest|everything she did for Wild]]).

According to the [[CWCipedia]], she is a good friend of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] and in the years prior, attended [[Barbara Chandler|Anneweston Elementary School]] with them.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref>

[[File:Lego Sandy.jpg|thumb|right|[[LEGO]] Sandy.]]
In the years the comic lied dormant after the conclusion of Sonichu 10, it was a mystery if Sandy would be a recurring or regular character, or if she'd get sent to [[the Moon]]. Readers speculated that if she became a recurrent character, she'd probably follow in her mother's footsteps and devolve into [[Women's rights|yet another soulless husk]] who lived only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.

On 24 [[May 2014]], Chris revealed on Facebook that Sandy's mother [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|had come back from the dead]] to rather negative, and later indifferent reception. Readers pondered if this was good news for Sandy as her mother was now alive, or bad news because it meant she was completely pointless now and would be religated to obscurity. However, readers seemed to underestimate Chris' emotional attachment to his hedgehog "family" and didn't realize that now that Sandy was a part of his insane coping mechanism, Chris would never let her disappear as long as he lived.

==Sonichu 11==
After years of inactivity, the Sonichu Christmas Special came back from hiatus. It was revealed that Simonla had a powerful healing factor and her bones were made from a powerful metal named "Simatanium" in her honor. Between February and December of that year, Simonla was in and out of the hospital recovering, confined to a wheelchair for most of the later months. Sandy had limited interaction with her mother during the time due to her hospitalization, but after her mother fully recovered on Christmas Day, Simonla finally returned home, and Sandy was able to bond the mother that was almost taken from her.

The grisly, gruesome murder Sandy was forced to commit by her father had now been erased from history, and instead her mother's attackers were sent to live in Amish Country. This is mostly because trolls convinced Chris to backtrack on the gorey ending of Sonichu 10, but also partly because he probably realized it was extremely fucked up to have an adult instruct a child to drill a man's cock off.

Later, Sandy was the first to see her uncle, Simonchu, when he visited their home. Despite Simonchu having very little to do with Simonla's assault, Sandy still went into a psychotic rage and threatened to murder Simonchu. While in light of the recent retcons this may seem like an overreaction, later issues seem to imply Chris' OCs retain memories of previous timelines, which might explain why she's still so fucking psycho.

Simonla manages to calm her crazy ass daughter down, and after Simonchu explains the situation and how he had basically nothing to do with the attack on his sister, Sandy began to warm up to Simonchu. The two later bonded while exploring fossils.

==Later Issues==
Afterwards, Sandy had very little to do in the comics. Chris would occasionally mention her in passing or have her in a crowd shot. Just like he said on the Cwcipedia, Sandy was revealed to go to school with Sonichu's kids and be friends with them, even attending the SLGBT Pride festival together. While initially readers speculated that Simonla's return would reduce Sandy to an extremely minor role in the comic, Simonla was also relegated to the same level of obscurity, making them both equally pointless.

In [[Sonichu 13]], Simonla's family home is destroyed when the tunnels she dug under CWCville collapse. Sandy, her mother and all her female friends were kidnapped by [[Nazis]], and they were then all gang-raped by Nazi prison guards and forcibly impregnated by Nazi Sonichus to breed new soldiers for their dwindling army. They were all rescued when Chris and an ally brutally slaughtered all the Nazi guards. This horrific event undoubtedly further traumatized her already horribly scarred psyche.

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys

2025-12-22T19:13:47Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[Image:074-HedgehogBoys.jpg|thumb|The Hedgehog Boys, sans Christian.]]
{{Quote|[[Shadow]]! [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]! The dark half can rock too! [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Rockin' in the atomic! And [[Chris and his Ego|the leader]] who put the band together Singin’ with his soul! His name is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Chandler]]!|from "[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]"}}
::''For their self-titled album, see [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]. For their theme song, see [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]].''

'''Christian & the Hedgehog Boys''' was a "virtual band" formed and fronted by [[Chris]]. In his head, helping him compose the [[Chris and music|music]] was [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the rest of the gang; in [[Chris and reality|reality]], there wasn't a band. The albums consisted entirely of Chris poorly recording himself shouting awful [[parody]] lyrics about [[Ego|his life]] over [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] pop music, which, according to him, qualifies as new and unique compositions.

==The boys in the band==
[[File:Hedboy.PNG|thumb|Scenes like this made the breakup of the band inevitable.]]

The gap between albums speaks volumes about the internal problems the band has faced, including [[Tobacky|drug abuse]], [[Pregnant Act|unwanted pregnancies]], [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|regicide]] and [[Hanky-panky|general debauchery]].

*[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]: vocals
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]: bass, or perhaps [[guitar]] ([[Chris and Art|thanks, Chris]])
*[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]: guitar
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]: drums
*[[Black Sonichu]] (Blake): keyboard

In the [[2009]] incarnation of the band, Sonic and Shadow were gone, replaced by [[Wild]] (on bass) and [[Punchy]] (on drums). [[Layla Flaaffy]] also joined as stage manager.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> {{clear}}

==Albums==
[[Image:057-CWCHedgeBoysv2.jpg|thumb|left|First album cover]]
[[Image:CWCHedgehogBoysCOMEBACKfront.jpg|thumb|Second album]]
To date, they have released two albums, both to rave reviews and much fanfare:

*''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian & the Hedgehog Boys]]'' ([[2003]])
*''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian & the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]'' ([[2009]])
{{clear}}

==Singles==
Christian & the Hedgehog Boys have released standalone singles over [[YouTube]] for "[[CWC%27s_%22It%27s_All_Coming_Back_To_Me%22|It's All Coming Back To Me]]" and "[[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|Holding Out For A Hero]]" that feature unique combinations of live-action, comic drawings and shit. The lyrics of "[[Revive Zordon]]" appear in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but a musical version has yet to appear (created by Chris, at the very least).

==Reimagining==
[[File:July25ConcertArtwork.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris Chan and the Hedgehog Zaps]]

For the July 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser, a fan commissioned a drawing of the band. Chris updated the name to reflect his [[transgender]] identity to "Chris Chan and the Hedgehog Zaps".<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps]]</ref>

Chris also expanded the band to be inclusive to women. The band members depicted are [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christine Chandler]] (lead vocals), [[Wild Sonichu]] (fish guitar), [[Punchy Sonichu]] (drums), [[Cryzel Rosechu]] (moral support), [[Sonichu]] (weird yellow thing), [[Rosechu]] (dance), [[Blake Sonichu]] (synthesizer), and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] (tambourine).

{{clear}}

==Gallery==
{{clear}}
[[File:Autisticmajesties.jpg|thumb|left|[[Barack Obama|The Rolling Stones]] edition]]
[[File:128650737563.jpg|thumb|right|[[100 2269|The Beatles]] edition]]
<gallery>
Image:107-HookedOnSonichu2.jpg|One listen, and you'll be hooked!
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|Sonichu is doing it wrong
Image:447px-Artgalleryhedgehogs.jpg|As seen in ''Sonichu'' Comics!
Image:SchuComic6P14.jpg|Ad from [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|For whatever reason, Sonichu is holding a copy of the Hedgehog Boys' first album.
Image:Pinkfanta.png| Pink Floyd edition
</gallery>

==External links==
*[https://mega.co.nz/#!1NYD1BpT!4Q4dWp7ZU-qoShcMGuWvDKUSo8wb-DHnUvwLm87Na9k Download Christian and the Hedgehog Boys] (Working link as of 14 December 2020)
*[https://mega.co.nz/#!lVgnFCQQ!nrpH0QQr_S6sH2s8_unQLO8q6muwAjxGpdZz1YV-sRM Download Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!] (Working link as of 14 December 2020)
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=CWC Sings}}
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]
{{References}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
[[Category: Music]]

Michael Snyder

2025-12-19T14:36:18Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Protip|It is not confirmed whether or not Michael Snyder is Jewish, either in ethnicity or in faith.}}

{{quote|I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than [[Borb|your fossilized parents]] could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child [[Creepy stare|creeping out]] all the other [[Pokémon|pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and contests|unsportsmanlike]] punk.|Michael Snyder, responding to Chris's [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Michael Snyder
| image = HNI 0022-cropped.jpg
| size = 250px
| name = Michael John Snyder

| gender = [[MALE]]
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| religion = Judaism (according to Chris)
| occupation = [[Manajerk]], [[The GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Owner, Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-2014)
| saga = {{saga|gameplace|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}
|}}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' is one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish; "Snyder" is an alternative spelling of the German surname "Schneider". Whether he is actually Jewish is not known; a YouTube comment supposedly from him claims that he is not, but this could well have been a fake account.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard,"<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]],"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref> a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew,"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> "cold-hearted and mean,"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> a "sonofabitch,"<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref> and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]."<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. [[Law|Legal]] punishment as well as the store's eventual closing have done nothing to check Chris's [[anger|rage]].

Despite being a major antagonist in Chris's eyes, Snyder was spared from being adapted into a Sonichu counterpart villain. This might have been because he didn't threaten the [[Love Quest]] or, more likely, [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu went on hiatus]] some time before Chris began developing further antipathy towards the store manager.

__TOC__

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, [[List of places that have banned Chris|Permanently]], After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior at the GAMe PLACe offended the store's management in a number of ways. He slacked off on his (supposed) duty as a Pokémon gym leader, scared the children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his [[race|racism]] and [[homos|homophobia]] shine. He also took his video game consoles into the store and hogged the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang [[Britney Spears]] songs during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]], and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a [[Chris and race#Black people|black]] kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chris from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point." Michael himself later recalled in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk."<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy#Michael Snyder's reply]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]], February 2011}}
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|left|200px|An artist's impression of Michael Snyder with spider-like attributes.]]
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|right|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident," Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tried to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumed that Mike would know or care who Mary was.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY... SNYDER,"
[[Matthew Noble call|A phone call]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In [[Wikipedia:Madison, Virginia|Madison]] or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it... Mike and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob. Oh, Bob.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a [[Reeb|beer]], then drove to the PLACe to make a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]] out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris told a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun,<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
{{main|28 October 2011}}

{{quote|I Pray that someone else Will plant a bomb in the Game and Hobby PLACe and Blow The Whole Damn Store Up! It does not Deserve to EVER have "C-Ville" in its name above its accursed, sullied, Hellfire Entrance and Doors! Death to Michael Snyder too.

That Bastard, among Bastards, Ruined and Destroyed my Life, Emotions, and Being!|Chris, while facing a charge for [[28 October 2011|running Snyder over with his car]]<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Hellfire entrance and doors]]</ref>}}

On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys," newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The plea bargain hearing was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}

==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the plea bargain hearing.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]

Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he regarded Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as some sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reputation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate [sic] his own "restraining order."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear and due to chris not saying anything recent about him, we may never know.

As of August 2017, Chris not only still believes Mike Snyder set him up, but also blames him for [[Chris and money|blowing all of Bob's pension]] during the [[This is how the Trial went|2012 plea bargain hearing]]. Because [[Chris and reality|"Mike rubbing his legs against Chris's car" is somehow to blame]], as opposed to hiring an [[Rob Bell|expensive lawyer]].<ref>[[August 2017 Facebook posts#Chris still blames Snyder for everything]]</ref>

==TheRcholic==
'''TheRcholic''' was a now-deleted YouTube account which was supposedly used by Michael Snyder to comment on some of Chris's videos.

It is not fully clear if the account was indeed owned by Michael, or if it was the work of trolls posing as him - it was most likely the latter. On [[6 June 2010]], TheRcholic posted a YouTube comment claiming to have had an encounter with Chris "right now", and the comment was apparently followed by a video Chris uploaded giving details on the encounter. However, Chris and TheRcholic give different dates for when the encounter occurred, with Chris saying it took place days beforehand. TheRcholic's comment was also not properly archived, so timestamps cannot be compared. In August 2010, a self-identified Chris troll apparently called The GAMe PLACe to interview Michael, who said that he was working on posting a YouTube comment as TheRcholic.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azjF90Q7JFA</ref> Notably, the apparent call occurred at Michael's place of work, and involved Michael using company time to gossip about Chris with one of his trolls. If the call was legitimate, it shows a level of unprofessional behavior by Michael. It was more likely an impersonator.

Several of TheRcholic's comments were archived by the Wayback Machine<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic</ref><ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20130408132328/http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref> and some copied by hand. Of those, many consist of [[ween]]ing-type messages which insult or mock Chris or his parents and encourage others to harass Chris, again showing highly unprofessional behavior.

On [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]:

{{quoteboxgreen|If any of you have a; problem with me, you can call me anytime at 1-301-693-0794.
I am happy to take you on.
Mike}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I have been told I have no recourse for any of his actions, and his encouraging people to harass me. Turnabout is fair play??}}

{{quoteboxgreen|By, the way, he was reading from a script he had written on a piece of paper.
Mike}}

{{quoteboxgreen|By the way, I'm not Jewish, but the last name is German, originally Schneider. He uses Jew because Black and Nigger almost got him seriously hurt. He uses the word like a curse word.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I want to thank all my fans for their calls supporting me, and feel he needs to stay home and get your calls. His phone number in the book is 434-990-0198. Happy dialing,
Mike 
Elvis has left the building}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.
Mike}}

In response to another comment 'I think inbreeding is partly to blame also'

{{quoteboxgreen|No, the current thinking is his mother had fossilized eggs, and his father's sperm were in a walker, plus drinking heavily during the pregnancy didn't help. Mike}}

After the events of 4 [[June 2010]]:

{{quoteboxgreen|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

On the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video:

{{quoteboxgreen|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. 
Signed, 
That goddamn Michael Snyder}}

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic Archive of the YouTube account]

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{SecondExile}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Virginia]]

Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares

2025-12-17T22:22:57Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:424-CWC&SNHLifeShares.jpg|thumb|right|Damn thee, Chris, you have to add Sonichu to ''everything''.]]

'''Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares''' was produced when [[Chris]] was [[2003|twenty-one years old]] for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s twenty-first birthday as a present.

This sheds light on his relationship with Sarah and provides some insight into Chris's early version of the ''Sonichu'' canon, with [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] represented by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Sarah Hammer by [[Rosechu]], and [[Wes Iseli]] by [[Blake|Black Sonichu]].

In typical Chris fashion, it is highly [[Chris and his ego|self-centered]]. It focuses mainly on his [[autism]], his [[love quest]], and how everything that goes wrong in his life is not his fault. Despite being drawn to commemorate her life so far, Sarah is only mentioned when she occasionally crosses paths with Chris and is even then portrayed as what Chris sees as a [[Women's rights|typical female]], which is unlikely to be what Sarah was like anyway. Presumably, Sarah was not pleased to receive a booklet full of everything Chris cannot shut up about.

The document mostly reads like Chris was attempting to win Sarah's affections by reminding them of the times they shared together, as well as portraying them as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], boyfriend and girlfriend. Chris doesn't help matters along by making repeated passive-aggressive references to Sarah playing [[trolls|tricks]] on him, or by openly stating that her boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]] is "evil." There is no mention of any nice things that Sarah has done for Chris, inspiring the supposition that Sarah was actually a bully that Chris mistook for a [[gal-pal]].

Chris also seems to be under the impression that [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]] is a pop music star, thus reinforcing the assumption that he does not leave his room. He also (perhaps unintentionally) insults Sarah's mom by portraying her as a [[Vamprosa|vampire]].

==The story==

[[Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|left|150px]][[Image:426-CWCSHFP2.jpg|right|150px]]

'''L'''ong ago, in the year [[1982]], two soon-to-be good friends were born:

February 24, 1982 - Pisces ([[I Got A Fish|Fish]]) - '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''
+
October 13, 1982 - Libra ([[WeighIn|Balance]]) - '''Sarah Hammer'''

Born in the same year, but not in the same city, these "young ins" were [[Autism|unique]], [[Pedofork|cute little children]].

Three years later, Sarah and her family moved in next door to Christopher, and later on, the two sets of parents met each other to become friends. And Chris and Sarah found each other. [[Lil' Chris|Little Chris]] was a [[Chris and English|high-functionally]] autistic child, without the capability of talking for a few years and socialization. But, Sarah was a spunky gal who pulled him out of [[14 Branchland Court|the house]] to play.
{{-}}

===Memories of childhood===

[[Image:427-CWCSHFP3.jpg|left|150px]][[Image:428-CWCSNHP4.jpg|right|150px|Thank you, sir. That's all right, Chris. (Sigh) Sarah's gonna get punished for this. >:(]]

Memories of what was in Sarah's backyard, a quaint swing set, with a slide, two single swings, and a 2-player swing. Speed was the essence on the swing or slide, as well as a fun game of hide-&-seek. Sarah usually got away to the front-porch/home-base, and she got little Chris.

One time, Sarah told Chris that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] was hiding under her house; [[Naive|he believed it]]. So Chris crawled under her house, and found cobwebs, dirt and many bugs, but no ghost. And Sarah locked him in ([[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|children do the silliest things]]). Chris was sad and scared. About half an hour (or earlier) later, her father, James, rescued the poor lad from a very dark + scary place.

[''This story lends a lot of credence to the theory of Sarah being a bully.'']

{{-}}

[[Image:429-CWCSNHP5.jpg|left|150px]][[Image:430-CWCSNHP6.jpg|right|150px]]
Flowers between friends is a sweet thing. Sarah exposed Chris to a rather "tasty" flower, the [[Wikipedia:Honeysuckle|Honeysuckle]]. She thought, and said, that if you put the upper thing in your mouth, it would taste like honey. But, of course the parents corrected both children about its dangers.

[''This probably refers to [[Wikipedia:Lonicera maackii|Lonicera maackii]], common in the eastern U.S.: the base of the flowers contain a sweet nectar, but the berries are poisonous.'']

Of course, in a neighborhood, there is usually more than one family; that means more children to play with. There were Christy, [[Rosechu|Amy]], Ginger, and Jennifer. There were a few other boys as well, but they sadly moved away and were [[Metal Sonichu|forgotten]]. Many fun playtimes were had between these four girls, Sarah, and Chris. Most of the time, they all played [[Duck]], [[Duck]], [[Sex toys|Goose]].
{{-}}

[[Image:431-CWCSNHP7.jpg|left|150px]]
School days are usually the [[Chris and English|Golden Rule Days]], as Sarah and Chris both attended the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County Schools]]. For Chris, he encountered [[Bruce Johnson|many discoveries there]], such as a pregnant office assistant, [[rape|fun in a barrell]], [[Chris and Race|children of other cultures]], and the fundamentals of learning + [[Dating Education|education]]. Most of the same was exposed to Sarah as well. They both always enjoyed [[McDonald's|lunchtime]], ice cream, and fun in the playground.

When it comes to the Elementary School, we'll make an exception to the "Golden Rule Days," as Chris didn't have too much fun there. In a nutshell, the faculty and School Boards did not know how to handle an autistic child. So chaos ensued as [[Chris and his ego#Persecution Complex|troublesome abuse was caused by the faculty to the poor boy]]. Thus, to keep from further trouble with Greene County Schools, Chris had to leave and move to [[Chesterfield County]]. And Chris and Sarah's friendship was put on hold. (He moved Sept. [[1993]])
{{-}}

===Over the Years===
[[Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|right|150px]]
As far as this Narrator Knows, this is how each friend grew up:

'''Christopher'''

* Because of a conducting Bear at [[Regency Square Mall]], he had his [[Christopher's name change|name changed]] to *Christian*
* He went to [[Providence Middle]], then to [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and graduated with [[Honor Roll]] all the way.
* Made many new friends.
* [[Sonichu]] + gang were first inspired at [[Manchester High School|M.H.S.]]
* [[Pokémon]] became the raging fad for him
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] became his major hero.
* The [[Naïve|youngness in his heart]] lasted the many years.
* He has <s>also</s> also made a [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|few websites]] that are on the internet.
* He took 2 years of [[Spanish]] (Español) in M.H.S. (¡Hola, [[Ricardo]]!)
{{-}}

[[Image:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg|thumb|right|150px|AAAHH!! this guy's evil!]]
'''Sarah'''

* She graduated from High School as well.
* She found a boyfriend named [[Wes Iseli]] (he's a [[Magi-Chan|magician]])
* She developed her interests in [[Chris and music|Pop music]] and other fun things.
* She grew up into a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]] =)
* She started job(s) at a place or two.
* She made many more [[Friend zone|friends]].
* She's still a spunky gal.
* She got a Driver's License + a car.
{{-}}

===The Return of Chris===
[[Image:434-CWCSNHP10.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Facepalm indeed.]]
Christian moved back to [[Ruckersville]], June, [[2000]], and he enrolled into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. When Christian met the new & improved Sarah, he was surprised in how much she had changed over the years. But during his years at P.V.C.C., he was not able to interact with Sarah as much as he used to, because she was [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|living with her boyfriend]]. And thus, because he could not socialize as well as before, Christian did not meet as many friends at P.V.C.C., as compared to Manchester High. And so, he became lonesome. His [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|21st Birthday wasn't so hot either]].
{{-}}

===The Girl Next Door, Today===
[[Image:435-CWCSNHP11.jpg|left|150px]]
[[Image:436-CWCSNHP12.jpg|right|150px]]
As of sometime before July, 2000, Sarah has been living with her boyfriend, Wes Iseli, a magician who does parties. Other than that, she works at the [[University of Virginia]]'s hospital where she checks the babies' hearing. Sarah has many [[Gal-Pals|female companions]], with whom she spends fun times with, such as trips to the mall, beach, and other places. Sarah also enjoys seeing fun movies and listening to pop stars, such as [[Wikipedia:Brad Pitt|Brad Pitt]], [[Wikipedia:N*Sync|N*Sync]] and the [[So Need a Cute Girl|Backstreet]] [[A-U-T-I-S-M|Boys]]. So, she is getting along very well.
{{-}}

===What will Come?===
[[Image:437-CWCSNHP13.jpg|thumb|left|150px|"Huh?!"]]
[[Image:438-CWCSNHP14.jpg|right|150px]]
So, here it is, October 13, [[2003]], and what is to be expected in the future?
* A [[Sonichu (comic)|clash of the Sonichus?]]
* Christian getting [[Love Quest|paired with a girlfriend]]?

<nowiki>*Who Knows?*</nowiki>

But for now, let's celebrate...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to Sarah!!

The End?

{{-}}

==Credits==

[[Image:439-CWCSNHP15.jpg|right|150px]]
[[Image:440-CWCSNHP16.jpg|thumb|right|150px|P.S. Please do me.]]
'''Cast'''
* Young Christopher
:* [[Sonee]]
* Young Sarah
:* [[Rosey]]
* Adult Christian
:* [[Sonichu]]
* Adult Sarah
:* [[Rosechu]]

'''Narrator, Story, Art, etc...''' 
Christian Chandler

'''Sources''' 
Christian Chandler 
[[Barbara Chandler]] 
[[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]] 
James Hammer 
Cynthia Hammer 

'''Surprised ^Birthday Girl''' 
<nowiki>*Sarah Hammer*</nowiki>

<nowiki>*</nowiki> All Sonichu material is [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] © March, [[2000]].
Email: ItsameCWC@aol.com

<nowiki>*</nowiki> This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu Production.

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm

A special Note from Christian to Sarah:

"I hope that we can [[Hanky-Panky|hang together]] some time. But for now & forever, we will always be [[Friend zone|good friends]]!!"

An original by Christian W. Chandler.

October 13, [[2003]] (Done on July 21, 2003)

{{Writings}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]][[Category: Non-fiction]]

Dreams

2025-12-12T15:50:09Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[File:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|thumb|Authentic [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokian]] dream catcher.]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|right|The letter to Blanca, a classic example of Chris's prophetic powers in action.]]
Nowadays, it is widely accepted that '''dreams''' can provide valuable insight into the mind of the dreamer. While they represent, at best, a warped reflection of what goes on in the unconscious mind, dreams are nevertheless made up of more than just random, meaningless images; usually involving the memories and thoughts of said individual.<ref>{{w|Dream}}</ref>

[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] adheres to a simpler, primitive belief in the significance of dreams. It's part and parcel of his [[Religion|religious]] mysticism — he believes many of his dreams are messages from God, as if he were a modern-day [[wikipedia:Book of Daniel|Nebuchadnezzar]]. Dreams, in Chris's mind, can provide accurate portents of the future, and much of his strange behavior may be connected to his attempts to make these dreams into [[Chris and reality|reality]].

==Significant dreams==
Chris has often claimed that his dreams represent communications from the divine. On [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]], when asked about his purpose in life, he explained it like so: "To eventually be married to my Sweetheart, then give birth and raise my daughter, as God has pointed it out for me in my dream." Likewise, when [[PandaHalo]] asked him why he wanted a daughter so badly, he said, "it was fortold to me in multiple dreams."

During the [[Father Call]], when Matthew Devoria pointed out that his belief in prophetic dreams was both highly unlikely and potentially blasphemous, Chris was willing to back off from some of the weirder implications of his philosophy. "I am not saying that I am a prophet," he admitted. However, he continued to cling to the belief that his dreams represent the future. "I'm not saying that it is the definite future," he explained, "but that it is a POSSIBLE future."

It could be that Chris believes that [[Chris and religion|God]] gives him these "visions of the future" in order to comfort him with the knowledge that he will, in fact, triumph in the face of adversity and [[autism]]. Chris himself has, on several occasions, shown that he fears suspense and uncertainty, and it wouldn't be a great leap of reason to assume that he thinks [[Chris and his Ego|God is personally tossing him spoilers for his own life]] in much the same way as Chris slathers them onto [[Sonichu]]. God's failure to foreworn Chris of future games of Kick the Autistic suggests that the Lord Himself is a [[Troll]].

When a letter in [[Mailbag 55]] called Chris out on his insane belief, his response was to ask "What is YOUR Dream Career?", suggesting that he has misinterpreted various dream-related expressions such as "the woman of my dreams" or "my dream job". While the expressions actually mean "it would be dreamlike to have a job like that or a wife like her", Chris may take it to mean "God literally showed this job/woman to me in a dream".

Chris has discussed several of his more important or influential dreams in many of his comics, chats, and videos. There may be a great many more that he's never felt like sharing with the outside world, so this section is by no means comprehensive, but it should at least provide a basic overview of the sort of prophecies Chris believes that he receives.

===The Crystal dream===
{{quote|I have my dreams that God gave to me, and I have to see my Crystal Weston Chandler be Born.|Chris, [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]}}

By far the most significant of Chris's dreams is this one, where he saw himself married to an unspecified woman and raising a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. This represents the genesis of his [[Love Quest]], or at any rate his favorite excuse for it. When he's not willing to admit that what he really wants is a replacement [[Barb|mother]], Chris claims that his search for a sweetheart is intended to fulfill God's will and produce his prophesied daughter.

{{quote|You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be Crystal.|Chris, during the [[Father Call]].}}

Chris, always one to [[Honest Content|share too much personal information during conversations with strangers]], sometimes brings up the Crystal dream while introducing himself to people. In one of his [[Facebook_messages#Christy_Backe|Facebook conversations]], he sent a new contact the following question: "Do you know any 18-25-year old single women who might like me? I would appreciate any help I can get in finding the one who would be my Sweetheart, and help me realize my dream of me fathering a pretty daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler."

For some time, the many trolls following Chris operated according to the belief that the dream took place when he was around 21 years old, right around the formal beginning of the Love Quest. During the [[Father Call]], however, Chris very clearly stated that he had the dream when he was in elementary school, between seven and nine years of age. In that description of the dream, he also noted that he "had, like, an office job" in his future life, an embellishment that smacks of Chris attempting to impress [[Kacey]]'s father.

This statement, however, predates the Father Call. In an [[Katie_Bay_E-mails_3#7.2F28.2F09|email sent to Katie Bay]] near the end of July 2009, Chris used this dream as an excuse to not get a job. Specifically, he expressed annoyance that he does not know what kind of job he has in the dream, only that he is working in an office building, his daughter is present, and shortly after the dream begins [[Twin Falling Towers|the building starts to collapse]] and he needs to run away with Crystal.

Chris's dreams about his future daughter are at least partially responsible for his refusal to date [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] women. In [[Mailbag 35]], he explained, "I never saw a black woman being my wife in any of my dreams of me and my white baby daughter."

===The Grim Reaper dream===
In a dream some time before 2005, Chris met the [[Wikipedia:Death (personification)|Grim Reaper]]:
{{Quote|I understand [[Bob Chandler|my dad]] does not have long to live, but I have to ask while you're here, when will you be taking my father? He informed me that he would not claim his soul until the year 2015.|From [[Jackie E-mails 31]]}}
Chris found this comforting, but was enraged with the Grim Reaper (the ultimate [[trolls|troll]]) when he took Bob's soul in [[2011]].
{{Quote| Damn you, Reaper, this is Two Thousand Eleven! I Was Promised that we'd be blessed with father's presence for Four More Years! [[Chris and his ego|I Was Promised!!!]]|Chris, cursing Death for not giving him
what he is entitled to}}

===The Blanca dream===
During the late summer and early fall of [[2008]], Chris wildly ping-ponged back and forth between a number of potential [[trolls|sweethearts]], including [[PandaHalo]], [[Sarah Jackson]], and [[Blanca Weiss]]. On September 29, however, he finally settled on Blanca, having supposedly experienced a dream where he met her in the lobby of a [[Charlottesville]] hotel.

Chris describes the dream in some detail in his [[Blanca_Emails,_September_2008#Chris_dreams_of_Blanca|e-mails to Blanca]], as well as the [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|letter]] he sent to her along with his [[medallions]].

{{quote|I FINALLY HAD my Dream that I have been waiting for for soo long; the dream revealing the name of my Sweetheart-to-be. the scenario was simply, after talking to her over the internet, I went to the local Hotel to meet her, and her name came up Often, and was Burned into my Memory and my Heart...SHE is YOU. :) YOU, Blanca Weiss, ARE MY SWEETHEART-TO-BE!|Chris, falling for it on a number of levels.}}

He also mentioned the dream on his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]], claiming that "[[God and Jesus]] have revealed to me the name of my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be." Three weeks later, the object of Chris's divinely-inspired love dumped him (after dumping his beloved medallions in [[pickle]] brine).

===The PandaHalo dream===
Although breaking up with Blanca temporarily sent Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crashing into slumber]], he recovered from the trauma quickly enough with the aid of his dear friend PandaHalo. By mid-November, he was having wet dreams about her and sharing the details in their communications, which Panda promptly passed on to her fellow trolls on [[IRC (26 November 2008)|IRC]]:

{{quote|During my most recent dream, You were in it. You were alone in your apartment; I had just run in to see you. We talked for a bit, but then you and I, we made out, then got naked and lost our virgin ways to each other. It got soo goodly hot and wild, that I came in my sleep over you.|Chris, traumatizing a chatroom full of trolls.}}

If this particular dream also happened to be a prophecy, GodJesus must have gotten his wires crossed. Chris never met Panda in person, and had more or less gotten over her long before she allegedly died early in 2009.

===The Ivy dream===
In [[Episode 19]], Chris recounted a vision where two-thirds of the Holy Trinity told him, in the most explicit possible terms, that [[Ivy]] was destined to be his one true love, that his enemies would be defeated, and that his [[biological clock]] would soon be conveniently reset. None of these prophecies came true.

===The Watery Maze Dream===
[[File:ThirdLabyrinth.gif|thumb|right|Animated for your non-pleasure. (Note: The original animation showed Chris's crude portraits of himself and the mystery woman as nude, but he added clothes so he could re-upload it to the G-rated Flipnote website.)]]
Another one of Chris's wet dreams, in the literal sense this time, involves a vision of encountering his promised sweetheart in a "watery maze." Chris mentioned this recurring dream in his [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|quiz about himself]], although he didn't offer very many additional details.

[[Liquid Chris]] took advantage of this bit of information to mock his rival in one of his [[For Chris|videos]], declaring that he and his girlfriend [[Kacey]] "are going to swim through a watery maze and make passionate love to each other and [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|it's going to be awesome]]".

Chris eventually immortalized this dream in a [[RomanticLabyrinth|terrifying animation]], showing us a little more of what it's about. The details were unsurprising: in a maze full of water, Chris meets an unspecified woman and has sex with her. The end.

Chris was especially eager to keep this animation on [[Flipnote Hatena]], having uploaded it a grand total of ''six times'', despite its assorted violations of the website's policies. Though the site's moderators deleted it a number of times, he doggedly kept re-uploading it. Judging by the monologue after the dream ("If only I knew who you are in reality...") Chris believes that the [[Lovely Weather|"LOVELY WOMAN"]] is a real boyfriend-free girl somewhere, perhaps one who suffers from a recurring nightmare in which she is raped by an obese manchild. By putting his sex fantasy where everyone could see it, Chris may have been attempting to contact the non-existent woman.

Chris has stated that he discovered [[Mass debating|masturbation]] as a teenager while watching a porn movie featuring a couple having sex in a swimming pool.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> Possibly this has resulted in Chris having a lasting association in his mind between water and sex.

===Mother dreams===
{{see also|Affair with Mother}}

A voice chat between [[PVCC]] forum members involved [[Emily]] revealing that Chris revealing to her that he once had a wet dream where he imagines his mother as an Egyptian belly dancer.

A Facebook post on 10 [[August 2016]] revealed that Chris has had incestuous dreams about his [[Barb|mother]]. He seems to believe that "everyone" has these sorts of dreams. Fortunately, he clarified that this dream in particular was not prophetic and at the time, he had never had sex with Barb, although he doesn't mind if other mothers and sons have [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky.]]<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts]]</ref>

According to both [[Bella]] and [[MKRNightVee]], Chris brought up the dreams again to them in private conversations. In a 19 [[July 2021]] conversation with the [[Chess Club]] Discord server, Bella mentioned that Chris, during his phase of [[role-play]]ing as Sonichu, had brought up that he had a dream of having sex with his mother, to which Bella replied that it was weird and questioned what it meant, to which an offended Chris asked if she was calling Chris weird.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Suicide Plan Claims]]</ref> On 30 [[July 2021]], MKR commented about the leak of the [[Affair with Mother]] news, and mentioned that Chris had told her about sexual dreams with his mother, and that MKR had dismissed it as one of Chris's many crazy dreams.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1421182090586988549 (archive: https://archive.ph/Scjbk)</ref>

==Minor dreams==
===The Sonic on Game Boy dream===
In the [[Song of Christian]], Chris claims to have experienced a dream involving a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for [[Nintendo]]'s Game Boy handheld. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], it took place in June 1997. This, he says, is what inspired the "Sonic Dumps Sega, Joins Nintendo" cover story on his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], as well as the many half-assed knockoff Sonic game concepts inside of it. He also wrote a letter to the real ''Nintendo Power'' describing the dream.

This is one dream of Chris's that actually came true, after a fashion. While Nintendo never made a Sonic game for the original Game Boy, ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Advance|Sonic Advance]]'' hit the Game Boy Advance at the tail end of 2001. It was one of the very first Sonic games for a non-Sega hardware platform, seeing release around the same time as ''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle'' for Nintendo's GameCube. In typical Chris fashion, he announced that he "pretty much foretold that outcome" in a [[The Sonichu Chronicles|PowerPoint presentation]].

===The Pamela dream===
During his chats with (someone he believed to be) [[Vanessa Hudgens]], Chris cited a dream that taught him a useful moral lesson. Supposedly, during the long months of the [[Megan Saga]], Chris had a dream where he "had to choose" between his True and Honest love for [[Megan Schroeder]] and his temporary lust for [[Chris and television|TV star Pamela Anderson]]. "I stuck by my [[Chris and religion|morals]] and went for Megan," Chris explained. "And because the same is being applied between you and [[Ivy]], I am going to remain strong and true and stay with Ivy."

Given that he never got any from Megan, of course, in retrospect the sensible choice would have been to go for Pamela, a la Borat. Here's to the path not taken.

===The Patti-chan dream===
Some time after the death of his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], Chris had a dream (or multiple dreams) reassuring him that Patti was all right and living comfortably in the presence of God. Chris discussed this in his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|Plea to Clyde Cash]] from [[January 2009]], hoping that Clyde would follow his example, "get over" the death of [[Ryan Cash]], and stop cruelly tormenting him. For some reason, Clyde chose to ignore Chris's advice.

===The swimming pool dream===
According to the [[Ivy Q&A]] Chris had a wet dream in late [[March 2009]] involving himself and [[Ivy]] in a swimming pool. In the dream Chris is somehow her "hero", possibly saving her from drowning. Chris told Ivy that this had been his first pleasant dream in a long time.

Chris had this dream while sleeping on his couch as he had just [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit his bed]] after receiving a death threat over the phone from somebody claiming to be [[Clyde Cash]].

===The ''Hey Arnold!'' dream===
Around early [[April 2009]] Chris had a dream involving the protagonist of the Nickelodeon cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Hey Arnold!|Hey Arnold!]]''. [[Ivy]] reports that "It started off with him skiing on a mountain with Arnold. They went off a steep jump and flew/floated through space. When they returned to Earth, they landed in the ocean atop a pair of identical surfboards. Chris high fives Arnold and sees everyone on the beach cheering for them."<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Hey Arnold!]]</ref>

===The acid factory dream===

In [[Mailbag 39]], responding to a question that attempted to reason with him about his hatred of [[Asperchu]], Chris dove off along a tangent and described a particularly picturesque nightmare that mixes his hatred of [[tobacky]], his now non-hatred of [[alcohol]], and his [[Chris and race|racism]].

{{quote|I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, [[Nazis|going through BURNING OVENS]], coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.|Your guess is as good as ours.}}
[[Image:Wily's Castle.jpg|thumb|A skull-shaped building, where have we seen that?]]

Chris has a habit of bringing up traumatic experiences from his past on the least provocation, usually as a way of fishing for sympathy. For instance, during the [[Father Call]], he went on the defensive by suddenly changing the subject to the incident where he was allegedly abused at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]].

===Dreaming of death===
Chris has apparently dreamed on multiple occasions of the instant that precedes death. In his [[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence#Size_does_not_matter._.28CCS.29|conversations]] with the Sysop of [[CWCipedia]], while complaining about various objectionable advertisements on "his" site, he delivered the following bizarre non sequitur:

{{quote|Seeing the BIG Ad in the One Spot is as terrifying as the Flash Of Light at the Instant Millisecond of DEATH, or even, technologically, the [[Wikipedia:Blue Screen Of Death|Blue Screen Of Death]]. And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|This statement offered without comment.}}

Exactly why Chris chose to draw a connection between the moment of a human being's physical death and the moment of a Windows PC crashing is uncertain. This might be because the error alert that comes up after a critical system error in PCs is colloquially known as the "Blue Screen of Death," which literal-minded Chris would associate with a real near-death experience.

Chris's dreams of a light at the moment of death may be based on [[Bob]]'s recollections of his own near-death experiences. During [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)|Chris's date with]] [[Emily]], Bob tells her that he has "died" several times, and Chris says that Bob "has seen the light, but did not actually go to it."

===High school dreams===
During his [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Chris mentioned recurring dreams about his days at [[Manchester High School]]. Given that his high school years were the last time Chris had anything like real friends or a fulfilling social life, it's no surprise that he often revisits them in his dreams. He describes the dreams in a very wistful, nostalgic tone: "I get to see all my, all my old s-, c-, all my old friends...there."

Chris also added that Megan Schroeder sometimes appears in his dreams of high school, even though he didn't meet her until well after he graduated and returned home to [[Ruckersville]]. Clearly, his unconscious mind is cobbling together an amalgam of all his fondest memories.

===Prince dream===
According to an [[August 2010]] e-mail to [[Jackie]], Chris dreamt that he was in a Prince and Pauper situation, in which he switched lives with a Prince. He called it "confusing and [[stress]]-filled" and said he was surrounded with people who had no understanding of him, and was upset with the Prince's [[abusive babysitter|babysitter]] for calling [[wikipedia:Yoshi|Yoshi]] a "[[homos|homosexual]] icon."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref> Chris offered an explanation for this [[Random-access humor|otherwise baffling]] scenario, claiming it was an analogy for his brief stint as [[Junior Jenkins|the prince of the trolls]] and his discomfort with the homosexual tendencies of [[Trollin Train|his new caretakers]].

===Father dreams===
Since [[Robert Chandler|his father]] passed away on 6 September 2011, Chris has indicated that he regularly dreams about him, and hints that these are messages from the spirit world. In a private [[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|Facebook post]] in [[March 2012]], Chris wrote, "I see and converse with him in my dreams," while his mother "feels his presence in the house." In 2014, in his [[OKCupid]] profile, when faced with the [[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|question]], "Have you ever had a ghost or spirit around you and you could feel it?," Chris replied yes, and added, "My late father appears often in my dreams."

In a [[Announcement 20160709|video]] uploaded in [[July 2016]], Chris reiterates that his father "comes visits me in my dreams nearly every night."

===School bus dreams===
In [[October 2013]], Chris fished for pity from his gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Worthless, lack-of-purpose premature death case|Rebeckah]] by saying that all the [[stress]] from family obligations, the trolls, money issues, and paranoia were giving him recurring nightmares involving "school bus trips resulting in driving off the high freeway edges, flying to dive towards a cliff, water, another road or whatever." As if Chris didn't already have enough negative associations with [[Manchester High School#The Bus|school buses]].

===Yahtzee dream===
In a [[January 2014]] [[January_2014_Facebook_Posts#Yahtzee_Dream|Facebook]] post, Chris describes a dream he had in which he played a worded version of Yahtzee. As he describes it, "there was a predetermined crossword pattern on cardboard pieces and a set list of words. And the seven dice had letters and asterisks for blank squares instead of dots for numbers. You roll the dice and match the letters out of them in a word, and you match them up in that cross word. After completing one word, then when you complete another that intercepts the first, that's when you yell 'Yahtzee!'" Unlike Chris's other dreams, he did not seem to read too much into this one.

===Strangler swallower dream===
On 27 [[December 2015]], Chris documented a dream where Marty McFly informed him he swallowed a "strangler". He had no comment on the meaning of the dream.

===Two Chrises dream===
On 15 [[December 2019]], Chris claims he had a dream in which his current [[transgender]] self is at the Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] back in [[2004]]. There, his past self meets him, and chases him to the other end of the store, apparently being attracted to him. 2019 Chris then turns his face upside down, which scares away past Chris. Chris claims that he now understands how all of the previous sweethearts he pursued at the time must have felt from his innapropriate behavior.<ref>[[The Place chats (December 2019)#Two Chrises dream]]</ref>

===2020 Watchmen dreams===
[[File:12Oct2020 GoldenDiscArt.jpg|thumb|A Golden Stone Disc Chris drew from the memory of a dream]]
In the [[Naught DMs]] and The Place [[Discord]] server from 30 [[July 2020|July]] to 6 [[October 2020]] Chris relayed a number of vivid dreams (while roleplaying as [[Spirit possession#Sonichu (15 April 2020 - 25 February 2021)|body-swapped Sonichu]]):
:
* A "dream involving a Jim Carrey type of dude who could literally transform from human into a VW Beatle Taxi Cab". Chris is looking after children, then wanders through a shopping mall and takes a trip to a mountain retreat full of "[[SLGBTQ|LGBTQ]] individuals really having fun". Chris observes a toxic gas rising up the mountainside.
* [[Barb]] and Chris are driving along [[wikipedia:Interstate 64|Interstate 64]] in [[Son-Chu#Cadillac Seville|his Cadillac]]. Barb nearly crashes the car. They end up at a diner, where Chris uses the ladies' restroom along with various young women in the diner. In the bathroom Chris glimpses their [[China|genitals]] (somehow) and gets splashed with their piss (somehow). Chris and Barb go to [[Best Buy]] and another store and buy random crap. They then travel home on a raft down a river.
* Chris records a crime taking place in an antiques shop and apprehends a criminal with the help of the management. Somehow this dream also involves a bootleg ''[[Sonic]]'' game.
* A dream involving "one or two devilish females who were on the verge of dying out with their species" who could be killed by means of a "Holy-Blessed mirror".
* Chris attends a party with characters from the cartoon ''[[wikipedia:Doug (TV series)|Doug]]'' where everybody changes into costumes which represent their true selves. Chris dresses in a woman's outfit, which he interprets as a sign of his increasing femininity.
* Chris is back in [[Manchester High School]] and finds himself lost in the hallways. He picks up his class schedule from the faculty office, which includes such classes as "Astral Physics", "Goddess Training" and "Magic Conjurings". His feeling of alienation is heightened by the subconscious knowledge that his [[gal-pals]] are not real.
* Chris is riding on a school bus in a hellish landscape with [[Tiffany Gowen]] and a big man with bad [[hygiene|body odor]]. Various demonic phenomena are being caused by the [[anger]] of a past version of Chris. Present-day Chris (or [[Sonichu]], it isn't exactly clear) reasons with past Chris, and the demonic phenomena stop. On the bus, Chris confesses his feelings to Tiffany, which she takes in stride. Chris takes a look at the big man and realizes that he is "a piece of [[Jacob]]". He shatters the man to dust, sucks the dust up into a [[S-Chu Ball|Master Ball]] and fires the ball into the sun.
* Chris rides a chair attached to a wheeled platform downhill to his house. In the house he hears what he takes to be the voice of [[Magi-Chan]], but it is actually a dark-haired man. The man tells Chris, "I may be controlled by someone else's input, but I do not let it get me down." They cuddle and Chris seemingly wakes up. In bed, Chris is approached by a different man and wakes up again. This happens yet again. Chris is now in bed with his imaginary baby sister from a previous dream. The baby says "I like you" and Chris finally wakes up for real.
* Chris attempts to evades trolls who spot his Ford Escort by stealing a UPS truck and losing them by making a U-turn at a traffic block, eventually making it back home after driving through Spanish boondocks.<ref>[[Other chats leaked by Naught (undated)]]</ref>
* Chris meets a Chinese version of Chris Chan Sonichu from another dimension. A living, alternate dimension Bob acts as a translator between the two.<ref>[[Other chats leaked by Naught (undated)#Chinese Chandlers dream]]</ref>
* A dream vaguely regarding large golden stone disk decorated with zodiac signs and other symbols including "Bushido symbols".<ref>[[The Place chats - Lore Mashup]]</ref><ref>[[The Place chats - Pennsylvania Trip]]</ref>

===The Conjuring dream===
On 10 [[January 2021]], Chris announced to [[The Place]] that he'd had a dream that he must binge-watch all six of the movies from ''The Conjuring'' horror movie franchise on his own (and with his [[imaginary friends]] Rosechu and Mewtwo). Chris implied that watching the movies would help in unlocking the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref>[[The Place chats (January 2021)#Conjuring Movies]]</ref>

===Sally Acorn sex dream===
Chris states in February 2021 that he has had a dream where he "almost had sex" with Sally Acorn from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] franchise. He states having felt sexually repressed soon after waking up from the dream.<ref>[[:File:ThePlace1stLayer 02Feb21 - almost sex dream.png]]</ref>

===Chris Thorndyke sex dream===

In an April 2021 conversation with [[MKRNightVee]], Chris states that he had a wet dream similar to the one he had of Sally Acorn, though this time the dream revolved around him meeting an adult version of Chris Thorndyke, a [[Pedofork|twelve-year-old boy]] from the anime ''[[wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]''. Chris describes the adult Thorndyke as "[[homo|handsome]]". Later in the dream Thorndyke is faced with the choice between having sex with Chris as a human or as a Sonichu. Chris wakes up before any sex can occur.<ref>[[MKR DMs#Chris Thorndyke sex dream]]</ref>

===Rokat invasion dream===

On 3 July 2021, Chris tells [[The WCT]] of the Watchmen about a dream that he had where aliens that were amongst the [[Rokat|Rokats]] were invading planet Earth, along with their leader [[Jakoba]]. While this was happening, the other eight planets (presumably including Pluto) are arranged in such a way that resemble a "collection of Chaos Emeralds" are arranged. Chris would be a major component on setting things right and taking down these Rokats, stopping them with a flag that resembles one from the Blue team of [[TF2 Analysis|Red vs Blue]] and fighting alongside the [[Transformers|Autobots]]. As usual, Chris was able to protect the [[Sonichu Temple]] after a lengthy battle on the [[Moon]].<ref>[[WCT DMs#Massage oil and dream]]</ref>

===Talking blob dreams===
On the night of 30-31 [[July 2021]], while staying in a motel in [[Richmond]] after being expelled from [[14 Branchland Court|his home]] under suspicion of incest, Chris had a lucid dream which he believed was inspired by the plot of the 2011 video game ''[[The Binding of Isaac]]''. The dream consisted of a conversation between "some individuals, and a constant [[obesity|flesh-coloured blob]] that changed shape, but it was mostly big-head oval. It also sometimes has a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|brown splotch on the bottom]]; possibly a beard."

At 7:00 the following morning, Chris fell back asleep and had another, similar dream, but he was now being annoyed by the blob's "discernible dialect" (Chris probably means "indiscernible") and "wanted out of this 'what the fucking hell' kind of dream". Chris confided the content of both dreams to [[The WCT]] in a text conversation on 31 July.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout]]</ref>

The connection between the dreams and ''The Binding of Isaac'' is not immediately obvious. As ''The Binding of Isaac'' is about a mother who tries to murder her son, it may suggest that Chris believes that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] betrayed him by cooperating with the police and getting him expelled from his house.

The dream turned out to be prophetic, as [[Incest Arrest|the very next day]], 1 August 2021, Chris would indeed converse with [[Ethan Ralph|a fat, bearded, big-headed blob]] and his companions.

===Resisting temptation dream===
In [[November 2025]], while talking about [[Jesus Christ]], Chris claimed to have had a dream "decades ago" in which he had a vision similar to "encountering a devil and being tempted three times by them and resisting." Chris only elaborated that his response to the unclear temptation was "No."<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Chris is the Avatar, Bob's last words]]</ref>

==Typifying Chris's dreams==
Just like those of real people, Chris's dreams can be split into some distinct categories which can tell us more about his motivations, his fears, and his state of mind at the time he dreamt them. It should be noted that the dreams Chris has seen fit to discuss are no doubt the ones which have affected him emotionally and which he thus considers worthy of discussion. It is highly likely that on most nights he simply dreams his Aspie dreams about day-to-day events, just like we all do. Considering what Chris's life is like, these are probably not worth consideration by anyone.

===Wish-fulfillment Dreams===
Freud stated that all dreams were a kind of wish fulfillment. While this has been discussed ''ad nauseam'' and expanded upon by many psychologists in the years since, this represents a good jumping-off point for studying some of Chris's dreams. As one example, Chris's dog died, and he wanted to know that she was happy, so he dreamt that she was in heaven. This is simple enough (though it does raise questions about [[Chris and death|Chris's ability to work through his grief]]). Also related to this are dreams when he is back at high school, in dumbass classes where he wasn't affected by the cruelties of real life, surrounded by [[gal pal|gal-pals]] and still svelte enough to fit into his Ash Ketchum costume. The anachronistic appearance of Megan in these dreams serves to confirm that they represent mental wish fulfillment on his part. Chris wants to go back to high school, and his mind allows him to do so.

===Aspirational dreams===
Chris's dream about Crystal, and those he attributes to the influence of God, represent a far less common and somewhat more problematic type of dream--one which seems to create aspirations in the dreamer. These dreams are extremely rare, in many cases happening only a handful of times in an entire lifetime (according to Jung). Chris's dream about Crystal, considering it happened at such an early age, likely coincided with a major period of psychological growth in his life (what little we know about Chris's life at this time may support this notion), which would have inflated an otherwise small thought in his mind to a highly emotional aspiration. To have remembered this dream for so long suggests a feeling of bliss or enormous happiness at the time of dreaming, which he now associates with the content of the dream. Crystal therefore represents less an actual wish for a daughter (as Chris doesn't know shit about raising children and is too lazy and self-centered to do it well) and more a desire to return to the state of happiness he felt in his sleep, likely at a moment of extreme personal catharsis within his waking life.

===Wet Dreams===
A bastard child of the Wish-fulfillment and Aspirational dreams, Chris appears to have wet dreams, once termed as "sticky dreams", whenever he is longing for a [[Sweetheart from the ground up]].

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris was noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. When Ivy asked if by "sticky dream" he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"

===Nightmares===
Given Chris's [[Parody|total lack of imagination]], his nightmares seem shockingly vivid. The particulars of what they represent are a job for a psychologist of a level above that of a [[Rocky Shoemaker|church counselor]] (although the acid factory dream is simple enough to understand--Chris hates [[alcohol]] and [[tobacky]]), but their apparent muffled severity offers us some hope that within the stagnating mass of lard and stupidity that is Chris, there is a voice of reason struggling to escape like a drowning man screaming madly for the surface. If Chris ever discovers the core of the turmoil indicated by his nightmares and what they represent, it would very likely destroy his perspective on the world and he may finally continue on the path towards psychological maturity.

==See also==
*[[Naught DMs]], in which Chris describes many dreams
*[[Chris and psychology]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Daydreams]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Chris]]
{{Articleofthenow}}

Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke

2025-12-12T15:49:50Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|Chris's closing statement.]]

'''Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''' (officially '''01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] in the early hours of 17 [[January 2010]]. After Chris finally changed his [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], he decided to read every page of ''[[Asperchu]]'' and give a critique of Alec's comic.

His review is, shockingly, unfavorable, and he spends nearly ten minutes complaining about various things, most of which [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris does in his own comic]]. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and [[Evan]] (but for some reason, not Sean) with the terrible might of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|pastor]] (who disapproved of [[Vivian Gee|Vivian's]] [[A_Girl_who_Brought_Down_the_World|book]]) and the [[List of Chris's lies|FBI]]. One of Chris's major points in his argument is that he was set on fire in the comic, and calls it [[Nudes|"horrendous"]]; apparently, [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting somebody in the legs]] is perfectly fine, though. Also of note is that despite Chris saying that he hates ''Asperchu'', he still took the time to download each page of it onto his [[PS3]]'s hard drive.

Chris also heavily implies that his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.

This video also defines what Chris considers to be "[[homos]]exually oriented". In addition to casting his male characters as homosexuals (though [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is straight) and putting pictures of nude male models in the background of some pages, Chris feels that his sexuality is questioned by characters using the word "fag" and Jivin' engaging in heterosexual intercourse (though Jivin's partner was very ugly and Chris may have confused her for a guy).

==Description==

{{quotebox|Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -[[Obesity|BIG BELLY -Man Boobs]] -Goatee -[[Glasses]] -wears [[Chris and fashion|MY shirts]] -[[Patti]]-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!

Graphic [[Nudes|Nudity]]/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2

[[Homos]]exual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21

[[Chris and copyright|Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References]]: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1

Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1

[[Chris and religion|Anti-Religious]]: Books A and B }}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
| image = {{#ev:youtube|I3MaMFN47aI}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 January 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] The Napoleon
| previous = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
| next = [[22 January 2010]]
}} </center>

{{quote|He sets me on fire!}}

===Transcript===

[[Image:pattysvengefulsoul.jpg|thumb|left|[[Patti]] will have your soul for dinner tonight.]]

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 17th, 2010.

I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I shouldn't have not have had to make such a video, because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [''Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his TV.''] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages...of hi- of Alec's...''Asperchu''. Unedited, all fresh from the website, [[Autism|organized by page number]]. In my playlist.

[''The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a continually changing ''[[South Park]]'' "Dynamic Theme" background.'']

First off, just to name a few things, there's an o- there are the obvious...sturdy slanders! [''The cover of ''Asperchu'' #0 comes into focus on the TV.''] And obvious references to with I mean the [[Obesity|old Buddha belly]] that I [[Obesity#Denial|used to have]], exaggerated manboobs, and even the [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]] I used to ha- I had one time. And he makes him- and he makes...his Asperchu character wear nearly every [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.

[''The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like [[Patti Chandler]].'']

And then to make matters worse, he goes and be—sssmirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy flop- a crappy copy of my dog! My d- Patti will- Patti's- the spirit of Patti will [[Chris and religion|have his soul for dinner tonight]]! She will be haunting your [[Dreams|nightmares]], Mr. Leary.

[''Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of ''Asperchu'''s Take on [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]''.]

And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my charact- of my person within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia].

[''Screen returns to page select.'']

That was issue C page 19, by the way.

[[Image:BurningManchild.jpg|thumb|right|He sets me on fire!]]

And then even worse! Starting on page C29, [''Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu.''] he sets me on fire! He sets me on fire! [''Chris moves to the next page.''] And then even worse, continues lettin' me be on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the [[Sonichu Special 4|most outrageous ''thing'']] that he has ever done against me.

[''Back to page select.'']

But I could get- I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|peeing on himself]] within his own comic series. Starting with, of course, with a few from his first book [[Sonichu 8|of graphic nudity or sexual reference]] on page three of his 0 book. Even worse off, on page 10, and while he's in that Burger King! With all his goddamn homosexual references as well!

[''Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the ''Asperchu'' date plot in book one. [[Chris and reality|None of them contain any homosexual references]]. He then returns to the page select.'']

And he's done like a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these si- I- find such nude images on pa- on 0- book 0, pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, and book A, 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29. Book B, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, AND book C, page 2! They put in so many ho- put, like I said, put in ho- so many homosexual references between books...0, B, and 1.

And he uses uncensored swear words, such as [''Camera swings back to Chris''] shee-it and ''ass''! In between all- in between all of his books! So many [[Chris and hypocrisy|goddamn]] of those. And his- and his A and B books are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books. That little son of a bitch, he's pee- he's basically peeing on h-his own self.

Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- few page- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of [[Sonichu_8#Alternate_versions|lemon for vagina an' bananas for...dick.]]

[[Image:LEMONS_cwc.png|thumb|left|LEMON FOR VAGINA!!! BANANA FOR DICK!!!]]

[''Chris makes a revolted face at having just said the word "dick", then scratches the back of his head.'']

And it was f- and da- and da- and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propate for all- for all those of ages, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|TV-Y7]]...and such. And I- and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, [''voice cracks''] but he does not censor his own swear words.

But like I said, [''Chris reaches down for his script.''] he's basically gone to the things aga- he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my- between the bu- between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing- h'yeah. A c- a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son- and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [''Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face''] and makes my- and makes what is- makes his ver- and makes HIS quote-unquote "Sonichu clone" go against me as being- as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s- the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar- as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano- that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from- aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.

And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number 0 on pages 19 through 24, including- ''including''- the homosexual references, he supposedly thinks there's a- that- he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville and it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [''Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it''] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [''Resumes wandering around the room''] HE IS NOT ''ME''.

[[Image:Chris rages yet again.png|thumb|right|Chris on Vivian's book from a few months earlier. He changes his story a lot.]]

So uh I am send this message again to ''Alec'', ''Evan'', and even ''Mao''- I have less offense with Sean by the way, but to those three...

[''Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry.'']

[[Death threats|DIE. DIE IN HELL.]] And I hope the soul of my late dog...eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep.

[''Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it.'']

But aside from that, his boo- his book is the pages within the so-called ''Asperchu''...series? [''Scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment.''] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [''Starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more.''] Even a horrific s- even as horrific as within [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian Gee's own book]]. And my pastor rissal- Elizabeth Foss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh- My reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace...and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but actually this [''points to the TV''] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab- let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and to all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the '''''F! B! I!''''' We will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister '''''ALEC BASON LARRY!'''''

[''Pause, head scratch.''] We get the FBI on our side. [''Long pause.''] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!

Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.

==Rebuttal==
Within hours, [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia's]] Mao made a rebuttal video calling Chris out on his hypocrisy.

The video was promptly given a prominent position on every page of the [[CWCipedia]]. However, this video is currently unavailable to view publicly and is considered to be [[Lost Media|lost media.]]

==See also==
*[[Asperchu]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|nextlink=[[22 January 2010]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-17]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-17]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2010-01-17]]

CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009

2025-12-12T15:49:31Z

HurdyGurdsen:

The following videos were uploaded by [[Liquid Chris]] from [[August 2009|August]] through [[November 2009]].

This time period encompasses the [[Kacey]] Saga, and ends with [[Sonichu Special 4]]: the notorious shot-through-the-knees comic.

==Pre-Kacey Saga==

===Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|b3XaxocqdXM}}
| Stardate = August 10, 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Trollsicon}} [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} Angry
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Revised_Entry|RE-DONE Lift Up Your Eyes]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC|New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|I am VERY Ticked Off right Now.

CWC }}
{{Transcript}}

===Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aF-OqiCKDhY}}
| Stardate = 11 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.|Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Hello, y'all. Just droppin' by For a Quick Update. Check out the New Store! http://cwcstore.blogspot.com/

CWC }}
{{collapsible|Transcript|
[[Captain%27s_Log|Captain's Log]]: Stardate August 11, 2009

Hello my loyal fanbase, I would like to address the impostor, Ian Brandon Anderson, for a moment. I officially declare myself the winner of the [[SingStar_Challenge|SingStar Challenge Contest]] between your- because your judges have not followed- have not followed any rules, uh, up- uploaded any videos. My judges have been following the rules and given me scores. Therefore, because you have no scores, you are out of the running, and I am the true Christian Weston Chandler.

Now, I don't care if you're stealing my original work and comic pages, and arts, and uploading onto a dimpy little website where no one will see them and be- while the true comics are about to be published by {{w||Dark Horse Comics}}. Yes, you heard it right. Dark Horse is fent- they are working fedrously ??- furiously to create and draw and write the first Sonichu Episode 0 comic within accordance from SEGA and Nintendo.

Now they are also working with a certain Microsoft as well. My current status on the project is they may hire me as Production Manager. So, y'know, keep my fingers crossed. [''holds up crossed fingers close to the camera for a few seconds'']. But uh, another thing, I present to you another true Sonichu merchandise selling site. It's cwcstore.blogspot.com, and it's your one-stop-shop for anything [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], or [[CWCville]]-related. I will show you a bit of the site right here.

[''Camera shows scrolling through front page of shop with various products such as T-shirts, DVD sets, and comics'']

And on another note, they're, uh, umm, gonna start selling, uhh [[LEGO]] sets of CWCville along with guides to the city, so, uhh, be looking forward to that one, uhh, true believers. [''holds up box of LEGOs with very clearly fake CWCville label'']

The, uhh, [[The_Sonichu_Chronicles|Sonichu Crystal Chronicles]] game has come along pretty well. It's going to be a, uhh, RPG-style game, Role-Playing Game, and outside the city of CWCville. And, ehh, it is currently being produced, uhh, in tandem with Microsoft for the X- [''sigh of disappointment, but acting strong''] for the Xbox 360. Look forward, uhh, to the official revealing of it in the, uhh, Game Developer- DOS and Game Developers' Conference.

Hmm, anyway, uhh, yeah so that's about it for now. Still making lots of monies, rollin' in th- rollin' in th- rollin' in the dough, y'know, and uhh. [''melodramatically''] Who knows what the future holds!

Peace.

[''black screen for a few seconds'']

And to my darling sweetheart [[Kacey]], eventually I'll light a magical lighthouse to randomly shown ?? its healing, guiding light upon my previously-shattered heart and tortured soul and mended them back to good shape and form. One girl walked into my life like a sailor-soldier having just vanquished a Heart Snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed your shining lustrous hair, your shiny blue Chaos Emerald-like eyes, and personality strong and caring like a true buttercup bloom. I follow my recovered heart's instincts and followed you. As I got to know you over the months, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for you. I blushed more strawberry-pink than I ever ha- than I have ever before, and everything around me was shining like a sun's mellow color, yellow.

Uhh, for you I would travel even a thousand mile just to be with ya. Fortunately, uhh, you lives only about 2 hours away from my house, and uhh, I mee- I meet you when we date. This feeling, it was, and still is, so pure and true. It was as- it was if I was born to love you. When you smiles, I feel like I'm walking on sunshine. As I give my replying smile, I gaze into your eyes, and your hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud 9? I feel like I'm on 10.

Kacey, my love, would you marry me? [''bends off camera to retrieve a pink Rosechu medallion, holds it in front of the camera, and awkwardly looks around the room for a few seconds'']

Peace.}}

===I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1pbi94LLabY}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|The Judges also Agree: I am the WINNER of the SingStar Challenge and the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler. Goodbye, Youtube. And Every Soul whose Heart I have Touched, and has Touched Mine Back. I have Found Myself, and Kacey and I will Grow Together.

CWC}}
{{Transcript}}

===GONE===
This video is a parody of the scene in ''{{w|The Dark Knight}}'' where the Joker kidnaps Brian Douglas.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5VEt7DgWMNk}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
| Transcript
|-
|[''Liquid Chris (played by Chris Duckworth) is shown tied up in a dingy-looking basement with a familiar orange hue, while Solid Chris (played by Jon Duckworth) haphazardly holds the camera.'']

'''Solid:''' [[Captain's Log]], Stardate, August 13th, 2009. Tell them your name.

'''Liquid:''' Christian Weston Chandler.

'''Solid:''' [''laughs maniacally''] Are you the ''real'' Chris-Chan?

'''Liquid:''' Yes.

'''Solid:''' NO!

'''Liquid:''' Yes.

'''Solid:''' NO!

'''Liquid:''' Yes.

'''Solid:''' [''laughing''] Then why do you dress up like him?! [''takes off Liquid's medallion, laughs evilly, and drops it'']

'''Liquid:''' It's a... symbol, so we don't have to be afraid of scum like you, Ian.

'''Solid:''' Oh, you do, Christian. [''prods his face''] Oh, you REALLY do. Huh?! Yeah. Ah, shhh... you think you've made CWCville a better place? Hmm? Look at me. {{RageQuote|''LOOK'' AT ME!}} You see? This is how kicking, this is how kickin' me in the balls works out. I would, uh, I would tell you right now I was comin' for ya, and now since I finally have ya, I'm gonna give you that ''peace of my mind'' that I told you about there. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler! [''video cuts off mid-evil laughter'']
|}

===10152009===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ni8d6CRSD1o}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Rumors}} Rumours {{Homos}} [[Homos]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|I am Not Dead!!! Also, I have Sonichu's Patent now. Thank you For Your Support, my Fans!

CWC}}
{{collapsible|Transcript|
Captain’s log, Stardate October fi-fifteenth, 2009. [''[[stress sigh]]'']

Hello my loyal fanbase. As-a-alot has happened to me, uh this past month and a half. I shall tell you first and foremost that uh I am safe, as- and straight, and I would like to note to a note there that uh what- what uh happened- what happened to me there and why you have not heard from me for so long. Oh, and my- and my Sonichu medallion, I do not have it at the moment because it was stolen from me.

I was ready for my bus to Redmond, but-uh-just-at the bus stop there, all of a sudden I felt someone touching me on my... yeah. So I turned around, because you know, I am TAKEN by my sweetest Kaceeyyyy, and it was none other than the impostor Christian Weston Chandler himself, or as he is better known, Ian Brandon Anderson! I called him out and I said, “Hey you Ian An-“, I said, “Hhh-hey you Ian Brandon Anderson” he st-he started screaming and covering his ears and then he knocked me out with a Chun-Li kick. And so, I woke up at a meat- in a meat packing factory. I knew it was a meat packing factory because there was- [''pauses and swallows awkwardly''] there was alotttt of pictures of uh...... [''pauses in disgust''] ducks… hanging around. Yeah, he made me uh- get on camera and then he force fed me a lots of uh… D-R-U-G-S. I-I didn’t even know there were so many kinds of them, but I passed out before I could even find ou- uh- before I could even tell, and the next thing you know eh- I’M WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAHARA DESERT, AND MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY- t’yeah, so… yeah.

So just suh- so just all y’all so you know by now, that impostor is a homosexual. I had to get an OPERATION! So I called thru- I- [''pauses, licks lips, stress sighs and shakes head back and forth''] I crawled through the desert on my stomach for like a whooole month and until some really nice guys from Aladdin picked me up and they let me stay with them in their tent, and they took me to a city and where I found out that I had been kidnapped and taken to Africa! And so- but- and- [''stress sigh''] So ‘bout a week ago I called my sweetest Kacey, and she was so happy- [''clutches chest and speaks with concern and heartache''] she was so happy to see me, and I- I had been talking to her about getting our engagement re-r-reinfor-reinstated. [''video cuts to a slightly different angle and position'']

And I ask you Kasey, will you please- will you please marry me again? [''mimics opening an engagement ring box using his hands'']

[''Moves engagement ring box closer to his chest and reopens it''] Opening to my heart. [''video cuts back to original angle'']

And a very upcoming date... yeah and uh- yeah and on an’urr note ‘der, I am going back to Redmond to my own office with my own secretary to take up- to take up my rightful job as the owner of the Sonichu franchise, and just so y’all know, that Project Needlemouse game, that Sega was working on, that was uh- that was gonna be the Sonichu game, but when I got kidnapped they had to- they had to act like it was just another Sonic title. So now I am gonna- I am gonna- I am going back to work that up and put a jump start in the comics and- and the game, and as for that impostor, I want to see his head on a pike! [''video cuts'']

Peace. [''holds up peace sign''] And have a good d-}}

== Kacey Saga ==

===THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GPc9QmkW9Eg}}
| Stardate = 21 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} Angry
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(|BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE, for KACEY AND I'S PURE LOVE. I will Be Right Here.

CWC (Christopher by Birth)}}
{{collapsible|Transcript|
[Positioning camera] Mmm. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So, I am still not your friend, Mr. Impostor, Mister Ian Brandon Anderson himself! You know who you are. How- I- how could I be friends with such a stupid jerk who is always trying to take over my Sonichu franchise! You're the Dr. Egg-man! You're the Dr. Robotnik. Come up with a- with the new plans.. Steal my original characters. [exhales]

Yeah. You know, you are so lucky, because when I was gone, Kacey started falling in love with you. And- but in ten seconds of Sonic running speed, you have dispelled her and I have picked her up in my- in my loving arms again, and I have picked her up. And you know what else, she would have... Mm. She would've a f-... Mm. She would have fallen in love with you i- [sighs], except for a good thing that you never even cared about her. Ah. I- I am- yeah, I am telling you this, and making this video here, to tell you: You lost out, man! Kinda like how Jack Shephard got lots- uh lost in the jungle... and saw a monster. Or John Locke got lost in the woods and killed a bunch of boars... one by one. [in a TV announcer voice]"LOST! Only on ABC! Only"- yeah. Hm.

But yeah, aside from you being a no-good, crappy impostor, I guess maybe that you- I do have something to thank you for. Thanks for keeping Kacey all warm and fired-up for me! Now I will get all the real action, bay-bee! You- she knows how- we're gonna see how she knows- that I like- I'm gonna drive her home at night. Hm. Yeah, and this is- this is not limited to making out, kisses and, and boobies, which are so- which- her boobies are so beaut- beautiful and large, and laaarge, even for my God-given daughter, Crystal, might I mention that soon-to-be God-given daughter Crystal.. Though, err, it has yet to happen. And another thing, [exhales audibly] we are going to swim through a watery maze and make passionate love to each other and it's going to be awesome. [exhales audibly] So you leave her to me, you hear? Ha! Ha! Ha! And don't worry, Ian Brandon Anderson, I am sure you will find yourself a nice girlfriend-free boy to have as a sweetheart someday, you homo! Mm. [exhales] Yeah, only none other than a homosexual wou- who is going to hell would not fight to get a girl like Kacey. In fact, I think- I think you are so gay for resisting her obvious advances. Stay off of my Axe!... it's not for the homos. But, uhh, yeah, she is all mine now. Don't like that? Tough cookies.

In fact, I have a challenge for you. You wanna save your reputation? Duuuude? Ian Brandon Aaandersson? Duuuude? I- I dare you- I dare you, and I will be waiting, I dare you to make a video about why you are better for Kacey... than me, or else... or else you w- or else you will have admitted that you have never cared for her in the first place, and everyone on the internet will see that you are a jerk and a schmuck, [vibrating noise] and they will see that I- I was always the- they will see that I was always the true and original CWC. I was... yeah.

And to all you [exhales] and to all you who have placed bids on my- on my custom-painted, uhh, meat-wad, shred-wad, rock-panned Rockband guitar on eBay, it has been sold- it has now been sold, and I have the money from your sale right here. [produces a wad of folded $20 bills]

To the rest of you, who are good and true, peace.

And have a good day.}}

===BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3Q-1aHvLXnE}}
| Stardate = 28 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} Angry
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Recorded in Front of the CWCVille Mayor's Office :)

CWC}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|

--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town!

[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and performs several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWC Fighter]].'']

I'm comin' for ya!

[''Re-approaches camera'']

I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you.

[''Steps away from the camera'']

The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]'''

[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.'']

Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever.

So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.}}

===M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wDMEVOM3pV8}}
| Stardate = 29 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} [[Kacey]] {{Music}} Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(|BACK THE FUCK OFF OF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU! SIGNED CHRISTOPHER C.W.C. :-(]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Please Excuse the Curses, Swearing, and General Bad Language in this Video.

Peace,

CWC}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|

[[Kacey]] doesn't love you, it's true
I checked her email this Tuesday at 7:02
She has more apprehension than someone like you,
having your [[semen]] and drinking it too
[[Fanta|In orange fanta, chocolate syrup, you just can't refuse
Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true
But you prove them wrong, "bottoms up" is your motto
So it slides down your throat like a melted gelato.]]

Wearing that bathrobe, like greener than avocado, mashed up in a bathtub,
infested with live mold
Your shower's gotta problem with that so I've been told.
In fact I've seen it, you're 27 years old.
[[CWCFlyingElephants|You get naked on camera and dance around like a tenfold.]]
Fuck you, nigga. You're makin my head explode

You know, with the "stop this" and "stop that"
And the exposée of your ass crack
On the camera, it was so wack
Looked like jack black, on your last track

Motherfucker, I never tried kicking an ass this hard
But I'm about to chew up and spit yours about one million yards
I'll take your picture and send it to your bodyguard
Now everybody, yeah, sing along

Now everybody drawing comic pages for ages
The sages of rage, and the age of contagion's voracious
And pages, like the motherfuckin plague is
Upon a plantation, and faces can't explain this

Sorry, didn't understand that?
Understand my ass crack, I'm back in black
And so is my battery, runs on AC/DC
You don't deserve to listen to a band this legendary, get the fuck off of [[Kacey]]

Blaze me? you're pasty, you can't stop me or block me or amaze me
You won't even come to her rescue, cuz you're [[Chris and work|lazy]]
It doesn't faze me, that you're crazy
Cuz if I see you try to contain me,
Then when I kick your ass I'll salt and shake thee

I'm gonna rip off your [[Duck|4 inch deformed dick]],
[[Julie Reveals Herself|Shove it up your ass, like a certain medallion]]
Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic
Because bitch I'm [[Autism|high fuckin functioning autistic]]}}

===My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wDQTxPqz48s}}
| Stardate = 30 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} [[Kacey]] {{Music}} Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.

CWC}}
{{Transcript}}

===Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eL_mkCKuWXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}
{{Transcript}}

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4]]|}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Mailbag 40

2025-12-12T15:47:57Z

HurdyGurdsen:

'''Mailbag 40''' was uploaded on the [[CWCipedia]] on 13 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered one question and deleted another a day later. A day after that, he answered (and deleted) the rest.

This mailbag had the highest deletion rate of any mailbag so far. Out of the 18 letters sent, only eight were answered. In this case, though, the deletions were not Chris's most shocking action. A nurse at a cancer ward asked him for a few autographed copies of the [[Asperchu]] comic, apparently under the false impression that he produced both. Instead of correcting her error, or forwarding the letter to Alec Benson Leary, Chris changed the word "Asperchu" to "Sonichu" in her letter and answered it as though it had always been meant for him, saying he would "consider a donation of a book or two." To summarize, Chris willfully prevented the request of [[Chris and death|CHILDREN DYING OF CANCER]] from ever being carried out in order to service his own ego.

Other notable letters included Chris [[Chris and money|throwing away a hypothetical billion dollars]], not understanding the difference between [[love]] and [[sex]], and the rather terrifying prospect of Chris adding a [[black]] character to compete with Asperchu's Jivin.

==Answered==
===Love does not equal sex===
{{Email|From: Dear Chris,

Don't worry, I've been trying to convince your [[gay]] fans you don't mean any harm by wanting to cure them. See, you don't mean them any harm because as an [[autistic]], you don't understand love.

See, imagine you were madly in love with a person. But then you were forcibly "cured" of your orientation. From your perspective, the person would have no problem finding someone with their new orientation. Why? Well, because without love, you only have sexual attraction. And if it's just sexual attraction, you can easily dump the person and find someone else. But normal, non-autistic people can love.

But don't worry about it. Just remember, when discussing love, there's something you can't understand because you're autistic.

~ A fan}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I DO understand Love; I was LOVED by my family and my friends, and I gave them respective love back in return. You are Stereotyping Me, and THAT, along with MISLABELING, I DO NOT APPRECIATE AT ALL. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===You'd think he'd notice the name===
{{Email|From: [[Blake|Bla Chu]] <blachu@ymail.com>
Chris

How many [[fans]] do you believe [[sonichu]] has? I always figured it would be quite a lot.

Blake}}
{{EmailReply|I have LOTS of Loyal Fans, and I appreciate them very much.}}

===The sound of a million financial analysts screaming===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com

In one of your mailbags, you inform us that [[CWCville]] has 10 soup hotels, each having 9 inhabitable floors with 10-20 rooms. I addition to this, your electric-hedgehog [[Pokémon]]s get aid of approximately 3500 bucks per couple.

While I appreciate socialism, couple of questions arise:
 1. Are there so much rich folk in CWCville? What's the overall population?
 2. How high is the tax rate?
 3. Why only one city in the USA has this system?}}
{{EmailReply|1) No, there are only a few Rich People; most of the population are Average Income. 2) I have no idea of "Tax Rate"; I would say it is average along with the rest of the U.S.A. I am NOT a Stock Market Expert Either. 3) Maybe because the other cities have NOT thought of it.}}

===In which Chris throws away a fortune===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]] <Ron.Jeremy@avn.org>
Dear Chris,
I understand that lots of people call you gay, but you are not. I sympathize with you, because lots of people call me gay, too. I'm not gay, I have had lots of sex with women. True, I also had some sex with men, but I didn't love them. It was just for money. I mean, if someone offered you a million dollars, would you have sex with a man? What if they were filming it? A million dollars is a lot of money.
Sincerely,
Ron Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|I would never commit to such a horrendous ace EVEN for a Billion Dollars. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===If he hadn't bolded it, we might not have noticed===
{{Email|From: Debbie Dryden <debbie.dryden@live.com>
Hello Chris,

I am a nurse at [[wikipedia:University of Chicago Medical Center|Chicago Comer Children's Hospital]]. I represent a facility that is the forefront of kids' medicine. We are commited to providing healing and comfort to children, with respect and dignity to patients and family.

Recently, the children in the cancer ward have become enamered with your comics. Each day all the children gather in the atrium, and I read to them about the newest adventures! It gives them such joy, and such hope. One little boy tells me about how he dreams of living in [[Cwcville]] one day - He has a level 4 brain tumor and is undergoing intense chemotheropy treatment. He carries a [[medallion]] with him to treatment everyday. It gives him special powers to fight off the sickness. I believe him when he says it's real.

We feel that your comic is a positive influence on the children. I would like to thank you for doing what you do.

Would you be willing to donate an autographed copy of your '''Sonichu comics''' to our cancer ward?

Kind regards,

Debbie Dryden

Comer Children's Hospital
5721 South Maryland Avenue
Chicago, IL 60637, United States
(773) 702-1000}}
''The bolded "Sonichu comics" originally said "Asperchu's comics". That's right folks, Chris just changed the request of DYING CHILDREN just because it caused him stress.''

{{EmailReply|I may consider a donation of a Sonichu Book or two to the hospital. Thank you for your support. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Somehow Sonichu is still more offensive===
[[File:DownsChu.jpg|thumb|DownsChu]]
{{Email|From: Meredith Reynolds <sonichufan1991@live.com>
Hey Chris, just writing to let you know that I and the rest of the true fans are behind you on this whole Asperchu thing. That is why I have taken the liberty of creating a [[parody]] of my own, Downschu, whose picture I have enclosed.

Downschu is a STRAIGHT electric hedgehog pokemon, who along with his girlfriend, Low Functioning Autistic Rosechu [not pictured], and friends such as {{w|Progeria}} [[Punchy]] [not pictured] and [[Magi-chan|Magichan]] with {{w|Tourette syndrome|Tourettes}} [pictured, but invisible], help to spread the word that Sonichu and his creator Christian Weston Chandler are STRAIGHT, and that Asperchu is a slanderous mockery to all electric hedgehog pokemon who should be put against the wall with all the other "undesirables". Thanks!

P.S. As the creator of Downschu, I hereby give you full permission to feature him and his friends in your Sonichu comics until I say otherwise.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I appreciate your support and your letter. Second, even though I am High-Functionally Autistic, and I have no objections against anyone with mental conditions of any sort, I feel uncomfortable and would RARELY EVER draw any character of that sort in my comics. And I am not comfortable with Your drawing, no offense, but IT is one where the character Looks Stupid, and that offends me. This is because of ALL of the Hateful and Offensive artwork they had featured on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that PORTRAYED ME and MY CHARACTERS as Stupid, and I personally take offense to such images.

Have a good day,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:19, 14 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Martin Luther King Jr. rages in his grave===
{{Email|From: kid{{w|The Cosby Show|cosby}}8557@aol.com
You make fun of Asperchu a lot, but at least Asperchu is a diverse comic. For example, Jivin Pickles is a positive African-American character, and he's one of the main characters. When will your comic feature a positive African-American character as a main character?}}
{{EmailReply|It is planned, but a name has not been decided yet.}}

===Asperchu continues to make the world a better place===
{{Email|From: boogies1885@cheerful.com
I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|'''Asperchu is NOT MINE; it belongs to Alec Benson Leary!''' And I have NO Association with that dude WHATSOEVER. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==

===Gay lover===
{{Email|From: nineinchbear@virginia.usa.com
Chris,

It's me, Steve. It's clear to me this relationship just isn't going to work, and you standing me up last night (1/12) was completely unacceptable!!! You certainly seemed interested enough when you contacted me through gaysinglesonline.com. After weeks of long, erotic Online sex chats and keeping in touch through email, YOU said TO ME that you wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I knew well enough that your family wouldn't understand and we would have to keep this as our little secret. You told me to meet you at Escafe in [[Charlottesville]] at 7:00. Guess what, I was there and WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!? I sat there like an idiot for 3 hours waiting on you, calling your cell phone and getting no response until finally I just had enough and left. So now I'm pissed, and I don't care about our agreement to keep all this discreet. I'll let the whole world know! And by the way, if you don't want me giving all those videos you took of yourself jerking to my picture to the [[trolls]], you'd better have a damn good excuse for your behavior and answer this message!!!!! You just missed out on a great thing, Chris. Your not going to find many more guys willing to accept you for who you are. (Guy's with [[aspergers]] are my fetish.)}}

===Simonchu swings both ways===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary has been using my Simonchu in a VERY respectful
manner. He draws him as a MAN, with the PICKLE HE HAS ALWAYS HAD AND
WAS BORN WITH. He has accidentally mislabelled my character as a homo
(however I cannot fault him as I NEVER clarified Simonchu's
preferences in the comic yet). I discussed this with him and set the
record straight (or sort of straight) and told him that Simonchu is a
BISEXUAL, he apologized and intends to Right the Matter. However, I
don't even CARE--it was an HONEST MISTAKE, unlike your DELIBERATE
thieving and gender-changing of MY Character that you REFUSE to right
even in the face of Lawsuits.

Alec has even been KIND enough to feature an ad about my struggles
with the [[Simonla]]/Simonchu Controversy. This is why ALL YOUR FANS WILL
LEAVE YOU, just as I Predicted. You are not KIND to any of them, like
Alec is to HIS [[fanbase]]. He has been Good to Protect my Character from
your SLIMY MITTS.

-Evan Christopher "Ivan" George}}

===Nonstandard anatomy===
{{Email|From: Greg Cats <gregthecatman@yahoo.com>

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a woman on top, but a man on bottom (they have breasts and a female face but they have a penis)?

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a man on top, but a woman on the bottom (they have a masculine chest and a male face, maybe even a beard, but they have a vagina)?}}

===No, he was finally openly gay when he bought the sports bras===
{{Email|From: manosthehands@2die4.com
Wait, so you kissed [[Silvana]]? But Silvana has a penis, so that would make you gay. Does this mean you're finally openly gay?}}

===On Chris's continual mistreatment of Wikisysop===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris,

You recently complained to the Sysop that you want the block on the front page removed.

Have you already forgotten that the last time she let you near the ads, she nearly got sued?

You really don't respect women at all, do you?}}

===Also Ted Bundy===
{{Email|From: stingray55@gmail.com
Hey Chris,

I've been reading over your love quest and I think I might have a solution to your problem; I've been reading up on a group of women who become enamored to serial killers and fall in love with them. Within a matter of days of being put on death row these men receive offers of marriage from women all over the country! I'm not saying you should murder anyone, but you could be wrongly convicted on a murder charge and get one of these women to fall madly in love with you. I'm not sure Virginia's laws on conjugal visits but I'm sure they'd allow it! This worked out well for Richard Ramirez and he married a woman while on death row!

It's probably your best shot man!

Good luck!

Your fan,

StingraY}}

===Chris's diseased ticker===
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hi Christian,

You've talked a lot about your [[heart level]] in the past, referring to whether or not you are broken hearted. But what about your actual heart? I know that your father has had multiple heart attacks throughout his life. Since heart disease runs in the family, are you concerned that you will have a heart attack at some point?

Your fan,
TM}}

===Alec tells it like it is===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian Weston Chandler,

Why do you Threaten me? Why do you hate me enough to THREATEN my life? I only wanted to become a Great and True Artisan like you yourself are. Are you jealous because I have done so? You know, I spend my time making the ASPERCHU comic and devoting to making myself the BEST artisan I can be. I don't spend my time issuing DEATH THREATS, which as you should know by now is a FELONY and against the LAW.

By your OWN admission, I paid Jack Thaddeus to have the Ad Space. That means I legally have the Right to Advertise my creations there, that is how Advertising works. You care so much for your own legal rights so many occasions, Why do you not care for OTHER peoples' legal rights?

Perhaps in the dictatorship of CWCville you have the godly power to kill people who Only want to Aspire to Greatness in their Careers. But in America, we have something called Freedom of the PRESS, where someone who pays LEGALLY for adspace can advertise their Product without fear of MURDER. So I ask you also, why do you hate not only me, but AMERICA? Because you obviously do NOT approve of any different messages than your OWN.

Your former joy-boy,

Alec Benson Leary

P.S. Simonchu is feeling MUCH better now that he and his Lover [[Wild]] are under the safety of ALBville's laws, which protect SAME-SEX MARRIAGE such as THEIRS; Magi-chan likewise enjoys being able to be the Homogay he truly is under my Wise Rule. Perhaps you should devote your energy to fixing CWCville's problems so you don't lose MORE citizens.}}

===Evan chimes in===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

I do not want either Simonchu OR Simonla in your comic, you have LOST
MY TRUST. What about this is SO HARD to understand? looking at How
You've Acted when people give Rosechu a Pickle, you are a HYPOCRITE.

Further proof of this: you speak against Asperchu using Your
Characters, but it's Okay for you to use Mine? You're a Mocking Jerk.
Tell You What: You can keep Simonla in the comics, if you let Alec use
your characters. I don't want you using my Simonchu AT ALL, under ANY
circumstances. You've Already Stolen him ONCE.

Don't you DARE reject this, you coward. Come out and Face Me.

-Evan}}

===On Chris's imaginary unfaithfulness===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>

You said in your mailbags that [[Meg Griffin]] pushed herself on you and you were powerless to stop her. And that Meg turned out to be Silvana so it's okay.

First of all, your character didn't even TRY to resist her. You flirted with her (saying amongst other things that you would "happily accept" her performing a sexual favor for you), punched a guy out for her (which you wouldn't do if you weren't trying to impress her), and despite her being all over you, not ONE SINGLE TIME did you say, "I'm sorry, but I'm already taken, please stop touching me." You never mentioned Lovely Weather to her at all. You let her do everything she did to you willingly and flirted right back. So stop lying that you were powerless to do anything.

Secondly, your character still thinks she's Meg. So it doesn't matter at all if she's Meg or Silvana. You still willingly flirted with her. That's a pretty lame excuse that no woman in real life wouldn't accept if you were cheating on her like that.

So stop being dishonest. Infidelity and lying isn't something to be teaching kids in your comic.

--Leslie}}

{{Mailbag}}

List of phrases Chris copied from media

2025-12-12T15:46:50Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{incomplete}}
It is no secret that Chris spends a [[Chris and health|healthy]] (well, unhealthy) portion of his day watching [[Chris and television|television shows]]. His preferences become apparent not only because he will constantly force you to listen to him talk about them, but also because Chris, in his infinite [[Things Chris has ripped off|originality]], likes to take phrases and sentences from shows and use them verbatim in his everyday [[Chris and English|speech]]. As a sequel to the [[CWC-isms]] page, this article attempts to list all of these occurrences, especially those he has used repeatedly.
__NOTOC__
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>

==B==

;Bad luck and extreme misfortune
<blockquote>
*Source: Describing the effects of the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: ''Rocko's Modern Life'', "Fortune Cookie": Filburt's fortune cookie reads "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" 
</blockquote>

;Blocky low resolution
<blockquote>
*Source: When referring to ''Asperchu'''s inferiority, e.g. [[Mailbag 41]], [[Mailbag 42|42]], [[Mailbag 43|43]] and [[Mailbag 45|45]] 
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]", referring to the Low-Resolution Universe.
</blockquote>

;Breakin' my balls
<blockquote>
*Source: Said about something that gives him a lot of [[stress]]. (This is actually a common phrase, but knowing Chris and his track record of [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarism]], he more than likely stole it from ''South Park''.)
*Origin: ''[[South Park]]'', "[[Wikipedia:Kenny Dies|Kenny Dies]]": Cartman tries to start a business selling aborted fetuses to stem cell research laboratories. When making deals over the phone, he says "Ugh, you're breakin' my balls man. Got 'em in a vice grip, here." 
</blockquote>



==C==

;Captain's Log

<blockquote>
*Source: Practically every video before Chris' first exile began with "Captain's Log Stardate: (Current Date)".
*Origin: It is believed that Chris actually picked this up from ''Family Guy'', which constantly references ''Star Trek'', as Chris has stated numerous times that he never actually watched anything ''Star Trek''-related.
</blockquote>

==D==

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]], where he referred to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] as this.
*Origin: ''American Dad!'', "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]": A nickname that Hayley uses to refer to Steve, when playing "Dragon Scuffle".
</blockquote>



==G==

;George Washington Carver finding over 300 uses for peanuts (but not peanut butter)
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 53]]
*Origin: ''American Dad!'', "[[Wikipedia:Black Mystery Month|Black Mystery Month]]": The episode centered around an attempt to disprove [[Wikipedia:George Washington Carver|George Washington Carver]] as the inventor of peanut butter, and this quote ends the episode. It is likely from context this is his only experience with Black History Month
</blockquote>

;Grinds my gears
<blockquote>
*Source: The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality CWCipedia page on homosexuality]; [[Sonichu 9]], page 37; [[Mailbag 2]] 
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' "movie" ''[[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story]]'': Peter gets his own segment, "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?", talking about things that annoy him, or "grind [his] gears" 
</blockquote>

==I==

;I'm much saltier now
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Story of My Current Days]]; [[Sonichu 4]], sub-episode 6, page 3; [[Megan_emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris_talks_about_Crocs_and_how_he_was_kicked_out_of_the_library_for_soliciting_sex|2007 email]] to [[Megan]] Chris likes to say this to say that he's less [[naïve]] about sex than he was in high school thanks to porn. 
*Origin: ''Excel Saga'', "Bowling Girls" - Something Excel says to comment on her professional bowling training. 
</blockquote>

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>
*Source: [[CWC Update 9 April 2009]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
*Origin: ''{{w|Katamari Damacy}}''. Certain levels of the game involve rebuilding specific constellations, and when that's done, a human character from the story cutscenes will say, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;Insert rod "A" into slot "B"
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Sonichu 8]], Page 1
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Emission Impossible|Emission Impossible]]", said by Brian, reading the instructions to a crib that Peter is making for the other baby he and Lois expect to have. Peter responds "That's what sh--" and is then cut off by Brian saying, "If you say 'That's what she said' one more time, I'm gonna [[Fanta|pop]] you."
</blockquote>

;iPods down and listen up
<blockquote>
*Source: [[iPods Down and Listen Up]]
*Origin: The ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prick_Up_Your_Ears_%28Family_Guy%29|Prick Up Your Ears]]", said by the principal of the high school. Also, Chris yelling "IN DA EAAAAYUR!" was taken from a line from Lois.
</blockquote>

;iRitz
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 51]]
*Origin: ''The Cleveland Show'', "[[Wikipedia:Love Rollercoaster|Love Rollercoaster]]": A joke in which Cleveland is Steve Jobs and invents the edible cellphone, the iRitz.
</blockquote>


==K==

;Kamehameha
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Parody|The inspiration]] for Chris's finishing move, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: A famous finishing attack from DragonBall Z 
</blockquote>


==N==

;naco

<blockquote>I made a '''Naco'''.😋<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/cpu_cwcsonichu/status/1208502526317932544</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the ''Kim Possible'' episode “Bueno Nacho”, where Kim’s sidekick, Ron Stoppable, invents the “Naco”, a soft-shell taco filled with nachos. Chris apparently was inspired to make the dish after binge watching the series.

==O==

;One shall stand, one shall fall.
<blockquote>
*Source: Used in a speech he gave to Clyde Cash during the infamous [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where Chris revealed that he had numbers of pairs of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
*Origin: [[Optimus Prime]] has said this phrase several times to Megatron in the television series, as well as the ''Transformers'' movie from 2007.
</blockquote>



==S==

;Smoke um peace pipe.
<blockquote>
*Source: Chris said this while [[Wigwam|pretending to smoke]] [[tobacky]] with a pen.
*Origin: ''Futurama'', "Where the Buggalo Roam": The Martians in the episode offer a smoke from their peace pipe to the lead characters.
</blockquote>

;Shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear
<blockquote>
*Source: Threatened [[Clyde Cash]] with this line in the video [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]. 
*Origin: ''[[South Park]]'', "[[Wikipedia:Breast Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]]": Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight after the latter makes an extremely tasteless breast cancer joke. Cartman, not wanting to fight, tries to talk her out of it, but refuses to apologize for the joke publicly, prompting Wendy to threaten him with this line.
</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>
''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.<ref>A Week With Christian Chandler''</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Taken from Sonic Adventure.
</blockquote>


==U==
;uncouth

<blockquote>I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.<ref>January 2017 Facebook Posts
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believed to have been picked up from an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, where two of the characters, Applebloom and Applejack, are discussing what the word "uncouth" means.





==Y==
;You know what else else?

<blockquote>''You can kiss my foot! And '''you know what else else?'''''<ref>CWC Update 18 January 2009</ref></blockquote>

Origin: ''SpongeBob SquarePants'', "Pizza Delivery", Squidward and SpongeBob wind up deserted in the middle of nowhere due to SpongeBob's bad driving skills. Squidward says: "Well, you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. And you know what else? We're in the middle of NOWHERE!". SpongeBob responds: "And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold."
</blockquote>


==References==
<references/>

==Navigation==

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

BlueSpike PSN Chats

2025-12-12T15:46:33Z

HurdyGurdsen:

The '''BlueSpike PSN Chats''' were a series of four conversations between [[Chris]] and his True and Honest [[sweetheart]], [[Julie]]; also known as [[BlueSpike]], which took place in mid-February 2009. They mostly showcase Chris's desperation and gullibility in being seduced by a 13-year-old boy doing an obvious falsetto (sometimes not even disguising his voice), insight into how he would conduct himself with a potential [[trolls|mate]] and they also shed light on his debauched and loathsome [[Chris and sex|sexual history]].

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! #
! Date
! Topics
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1|1]]
| 16 [[February 2009]]
| [[Aunt Corrina]], threesome, work
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2|2]]
| 17 February 2009
| Aunt Corrina, [[Sarah Jackson]], ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|3]]
| 18 February 2009
| Chris's sexual history
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|3.5]]
| 18 February 2009
| Lack of geographical knowledge, [[racism]], [[Bob]]
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]]
| 18 February 2009
| Bob talks about his life
|-
| [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|4]]
| 20 February 2009
| [[Barbara]], ''Ich bin schwul''
|}

==Chats==
===1===
{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 1}}
Chris opens this chat by forgetting that his [[Aunt Corrina]] is still alive, claiming that he "was sad that she died" and is "recovering" and "hurtin' inside". He smoothly transitions into trying to arrange a threesome with Julie and another woman... or [[homos|man]]. Chris talks through his average day and fails to get [[Barb]] to come up and talk to Julie. He then talks about trying to get paid for volunteer work. The chat ends and the [[trolls]] listening in laugh at his stupidity.

===2===

{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 2}}
This chat opens with [[Julie]] trying to persuade a reluctant [[Chris]] to visit his dying Aunt Corrina. They talk about [[Sarah Jackson]] being murdered by [[Optimus Prime]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and Chris has the gall to claim that "that could be any truck". Chris reads [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] spoilers until the chat ends.

===3===

{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3}}
The most notorious of the BlueSpike chats. It starts with Chris revealing how [[homo]] images, thoughts and voices appear in his head. He moves onto his [[sex toys]], including his [[Kimmi|love]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]] and the usage of his [[homo|vibrator and anal beads]]. Julie then asks for his full sexual history. This is mostly a story of his discovery of [[mass debating|masturbation]], what he uses to aid it and how he [[Honest Content|talks to his parents about it]]. [[BlueSpike]] makes no effort to disguise his voice throughout this entire chat, so Chris reveals his most intimate of secrets to a person with a voice that is totally different from, and more masculine than his actual [[sweetheart]].

===3.5===

{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5}}
In this chat, [[Julie]] asks Chris about his opinions on different [[chris and race|ethnicities]]. Chris does various impersonations and sings "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" for Julie. They discuss Chris's [[Cherokian Clan|heritage]] and [[Borb|his parents]]. Julie asks to talk to them, but [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] is asleep and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] is doubtful of [[Molvania]] being a real country. Julie is furious at this and quits the chat. The trolls berate [[BlueSpike]] for squandering the opportunity to talk to Bob.

===3.7===

{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7}}
Julie apologizes for quitting the chat, and starts to talk to Bob. Bob talks about his life, career and travels. He apologizes for doubting [[Molvania]]. He mentions [[Chris]]'s lack of perspective on the world and his disinterest in where anything is. He confirms that he is part Cherokee. He tells Julie that she can talk to him any time, and they part. The [[trolls]] listening in love Bob and approve of the conversation.

===4===
{{Main|BlueSpike PSN Chat 4}}
In the final chat, Chris asks Julie about her education level, at Bob's request. She contradicts herself, saying she got a college degree and can't remember what it is (amazingly, Chris calls her out on this), then that she's only finished high school. [[Slow-in-the-mind|Chris accepts this]]. Chris thinks Julie is 24; she's 19. He [[mass debating|likes the pictures Julie sent]]. He's reluctant to come to Ohio. Julie teaches him how to say "I am Gay" in <s>German</s> [[Molvanîa]]n. Barb thinks Chris dedicates too much time to his [[trolls|Internet friends]] and not enough to her. Chris tries to postpone his Ohio trip until the tape runs out.

{{succession|label=BlueSpike PSN Chats|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:BlueSpike PSN Chats]]

Surfshack Tito E-mails

2025-12-12T15:46:07Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Honest}}
In [[March 2010]], the troll [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] exchanged a series of e-mails with [[Chris]]. These were leaked on 18 March 2010, to the amusement of all and sundry. They are reproduced below, with Tito's messages on a red background and Chris's replies on a blue background.

There's not a great deal of genuinely revealing information in the e-mails, although Tito's mockery is good for a chuckle regardless. We do learn, however, that Chris was aware of [[the Wallflower]]'s obsession with gay fan-fiction, and it apparently didn't bother him (or it didn't bother him enough to deter him from his quest to get laid, anyway).

==The e-mails==
{{Email|
Subject: I HAVE INFORMATION ON [WALLFLOWER], MY FAT LITTLE CUZZIN

HEY THERE LITTLE CUZ! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR MY LITTLE SPY! WELL YOU ARE PRETTY DUMB. ANYWAY, NOW THAT I TRICKED YOU I THREW HER INFORMATION TO THE TROLLS. AHAHA! IN DEMAIL YOU SHOULD SEE A PIC OF ME AT THE RIGHT AND YOU'RE BOYFRIEND AT THE LEFT!

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY.

"The coconut is always sweeter on the palm tree you can't reach!"

You're friend
Tito!}}

An image accompanied the above e-mail, a picture of [[the Wallflower]] with some big guy who looked Polynesian enough to pass as an IRL Tito.

{{EmailReply|
Subject: You are NOT even my Acquaintance, Period

Fuck Off, you God Damn Troll!!!}}

{{Email|Sorry little cuz, it wasn't my fault. You leaked her pen name in your Little Big Planet level. I just had to google it and got all her nasty gay porn writings. Have you even read her writings? They're all about men having sex with men. Like the one she wrote about the guys from ghost hunters having sex. It's pretty gay stuff.

I'll quote one of her fictions in my next emails.

So long, Brudda.

As the Ancient Hawaiians Said: "He who carves himself in stone, has rocks in his head."}}

{{EmailReply|
Subject: Re: I See

I am fully aware of her Fan Fictions, and I do not judge her by that. I, Christian Weston Chandler, LIKE LESBIANS AND THEIR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS; that does not make me queer or weird.

Aside from the Googling, you surely have had a hand in the creation of that page on the CWCki and the mockery that was typed on said page. [SHE] IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!}}

{{Email|YOU SOUND AWFULLY INSECURE LITTLE CUZZES! THE DUDES FROM GHOST HUNTERS BONING EACH OTHER IN THE BUTTHOLES AIN'T LESBIAN, SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU. : (

Uhh i think lesbians are pretty hot myself but a three some of Jaden Yuiki, Yugi Mutou, and Maximillion Pegasus AREN'T quite the hot lesbians your thinking of!

AND YOU'RE RIGHT THAT STEVEN KING LADY THING IS BEAUTIFUL!

"NIGGA YOU GAY!"}}

{{EmailReply|
Subject: ENOUGH!

You still have not answered my firm fact that you have created that page on the CWCki.}}

[[File:1291076619823.jpg|thumb|left|True words to live by.]]
[[File:Chrischanpantsu.jpg|thumb|right|We apologize for making you see this again. It was necessary.]]

{{Email|
Subject: SMOOTH MOVE LADDIE!

<nowiki>:I</nowiki> forgot to mention little cuzin, I have tasted the flesh that was [Wallflower], and it was quite Delicious. She got so moist over my Ancient Hawaiian Saying. "It's time for a dicking."

P.S: Nice Undies: http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/4083/undies.png

(If you wear something underneath your kilt, it counts as a skirt, dumbass)

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "Smooth Move Bonehead."}}

[[File:FuckYouTito.jpg|thumb|leftt|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFoEKcf01qs After the break I'm gonna soak my arm in kerosene, light it, then fistfuck a goat.]]]

{{EmailReply|
Subject: [[Random-access humor|You are the Bonehead, Crapboardin' Airhead!]]

Watch your back; I WILL FIND YOU! [[Chris and his Ego|I have connections]]. And after the Meet and Greet, I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut so far up, it shoots out your head right through your skull.

I WILL FIND YOU!}}

{{EmailReply|
Subject: >:(

Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!}}

{{EmailReply|
Subject: None

Dude, YOU are NOT her Boyfriend; Back the Fuck Off, You God Damn Trollin' Stupid Nigger.}}

{{Email|I am sorry it took me so long to reply cause I couldn't stop laughing at this whole "I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut" noise.

A manchild who claims to have so much strength yet gets tired after humping a console for 1 minute ya lazy sap. You're so lazy you don't even fight your own fights. How am I suppose to be scared of that? All you seem to do is punch cameras & throw Yosemite Sam kinds of tantrums. The only thing that I'm afraid of is being anywhere near the walking Health Hazard that is you. Seriously I don't think you even bathe. I've seen Guys in fucking Burger Joints with Better Complexion than you, and their head first in the grease. Do you even have Hair? I'm glad you embraced your inner homo with that skirt of yours. It's almost as gay as that bra/panty pic you took awhile back that I'm still washing my eyes out with bleach.

P,S: cut the child out of Manchild an leave [Wallflower] alone. I'm surprised she hasn't filed a restraining order on your naive ass at this point.

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "The seagull that flies a crooked path, has a rough time returning Home."}}

{{EmailReply|
Subject: [[Cole Smithey|DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN!]]

I know [Wallflower] is NOT doing anything with you, and she does NOT even KNOW you. You can just go shoot yourself in the head and die, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|you damned, trolling stupid, pickle-suited NIGGER.]]}}

==See also==

*[[The Wallflower]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

{{TitoSaga}}
{{Emails}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]

Surfshack Tito (troll)

2025-12-12T15:45:48Z

HurdyGurdsen:

''This article is about the troll named '''Surfshack Tito'''. For the video of the same name, see [[Surfshack Tito (video)]].''
{{Troll}}
{{Quote|Goddamn womanizing, raping... trollin' stupid [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited]]... [[Niggos#Chris_and_the_actual_N-word|NIGGER!]]|Chris on Tito<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref>}}
{{infobox Person
| title = Surfshack Tito
| image = Tito 300.gif
| name = Don
| aliases = Surfshack Tito Tito Makani [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]]
| gender = [[MALE]]
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = <s>Black</s> Native Hawaiian
| occupation = Co-Owner and Grillman at the Shore Shack Internet Troll Hacker
| saga = {{saga|tito|cn}}, {{saga|ps3|cn}}, {{saga|callingout|cn}}
}}

'''Surfshack Tito''' (real name: '''Don''') was a mysterious [[trolls|troll]] who first emerged in [[February 2010]]. The nickname "Surfshack Tito" is a reference to the [https://rocketpower.fandom.com/wiki/Tito_Makani corpulent surf-shop owner] from the [[Wikipedia: Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]] kids' cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. During the exchanges with Chris, most of them from Tito ended with a Tito-styled word of wisdom. An infamous copypasta about Tito most likely inspired the choice to go with the name.{{refn|group="note"|[[Talk:Surfshack Tito (troll)#The Copypasta|Can be found here]]}}

Tito gained notoriety in [[March 2010]] when he took credit for the end of Chris's relationship with [[The Wallflower]], causing Chris to make [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|multiple]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|videos]] openly raging at him, including one where he said the N-word. Judging by Chris's initial responses to Tito, it is safe to say that he initially [[Chris and reality|thought]] that the ''actual'' Tito from Rocket Power was trolling him, before eventually realizing at some point that he was just a character played by a troll. For the next year and a half, Tito continued trolling, his troll plots including [[Trollin' Train|tricking Chris into smashing his PS3]] and [[Tomgirl Pictures|leaking photos of Chris crossdressing]]. He was eventually [[Calling Out|called out]] by Chris, leading to him making an apology video, before abandoning trolling due to him being busy with high school.

==PSN Hacking==
{{main|Surfshack Tito (video)}}
On 24 [[February 2010]], Tito first appeared by hacking into Chris's [[PSN]] account. Nothing much came from this, and the trolling move had already been done [[BlueSpike|three]] [[Clyde Cash|times]] [[Jack Thaddeus|prior]]. Chris addressed Tito's PSN hacking in a [[Surfshack Tito (video)|short video]] posted on [[March 2010]], where he gives Tito a [[Curse shot|Curse Shot]].

==The Wallflower Incident==
{{see also|Wallflower E-mails 3|Surfshack Tito E-mails}}
[[File:Surfshack Tito.jpg|thumb|300px|It's easy to see what the Wallflower fell for, isn't it?]]

On 9 [[March 2010]], Chris made a [[LittleBigPlanet]] level which used [[The Wallflower]]'s pen name. Using this information, Surfshack Tito and some other trolls managed to find out The Wallflower's real name. Tito then created a [[CWCki]] page about Wallflower, which involved all of this real information. Finally, he sent a link to the page to Wallflower, leaving her horrified by all the personal information on the site, and leading her to cut of all ties with Chris.

Tito started emailing Chris, taunting him over the loss of The Wallflower, leading Chris to make [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], his second and most bizarre video addressed to Tito, threatening him with a pocket knife while wearing a Scottish kilt and repeatedly saying Wallflower's real name.

Tito began riling up Chris even more by suggesting that he was dating and having regular sex with The Wallflower, sending Chris a photoshopped image of a big black man (Tito) standing with The Wallflower. Chris bought this narrative, repeatedly asking The Wallflower to leave Tito in [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|a video]] addressed to her. The Wallflower, in an attempt to get Chris off her back, actually played into this narrative by calling Tito her boyfriend. These events happened shortly before the [[Happy Sonichu Day|10th anniversary of Sonichu]].

Chris, at peak anger, began emailing Tito, calling him a "nigger" three times, and threatening to track him down and murder him. Chris reiterated this sentiment in [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|the most iconic video]] from this Saga, threatening to murder Tito multiple times before finally calling him a "trolling stupid pickle suited nigger" and ending the video. This Saga rattled Chris so much that around a week later he [[C-Ya Later|claimed that he would leave the Internet forever]], starting the "First Exile", where Chris repeatedly tried (and failed) to leave the Internet.

==PS3 Destruction==
{{main|Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails}}
Tito was a frequent poster on [[Trollin Train]], along with [[Clyde Cash]]. After Clyde and Tito put up a $9001 dollar bounty for destroying Chris's [[PS3]], Chris would claim it himself by [[MovingForward|destroying his own PS3]]. After he e-mailed Clyde a few times, Clyde forwarded him to Tito, who managed his money.

Tito was not as lenient as Clyde, rattling off a list of reasons why Chris was unable to claim the bounty. Clyde intervened with this, saying he enjoyed the video of Chris destroying his PS3, and to give Chris the money. Tito told Chris that they could meet up at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and telling him to come or he would spend the money on hookers. Chris refused to go there, and they rescheduled to a [[Chick-fil-A]] in [[Fashion Square Mall]], however one of Clyde's Asian technicians told Tito the [[PS3]] was still intact. To prove it was completely broken, Chris had to [[ItIsFinished.MOV|run over all the separate pieces of his PS3]], which finally convinced Tito.

Tito told him to meet up at [[List_of_restaurants#Starbucks|Starbucks]] in [[Fashion Square]], where he would be approached by a female agent with a [[pickle]] tattoo on her breast. He was [[Clyde_and_Tito_PS3_E-mails#Waiting_for_$9001|videotaped]] sitting at a chair in fashion square, creepily staring at women, possibly trying to spot a pickle tattoo. No agents would walk up and give him the money, leading to Chris writing an angry e-mail to Tito. Tito responded stating that he had already given the money to [[Liquid Chris|a man who said he was Christian Weston Chandler, with a Sonichu medallion, high school ring, and brown shirt]], leaving Chris without any money.

==Tomgirl Pictures==
{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

Tito was the one to the leak the [[Tomgirl Pictures]] on 28 [[April 2011]], along with supplying his own commentary on them.

{{quoteboxred|Chris decided that being a [[JERKS|man]] was too much work. It often involves [[Stress|stressful]] activities such as getting a job, excercising, and supporting a family. The role of the man was too stressful for the life of Christian Weston Chandler.

He decided he would take the route that was easier for him. The path that he was so familiar with in [[Manchester High School|Highschool]]. The manchild felt that he could identify being a lady seeing that he has had vast experience of hanging out with girls in the cafeteria. Chris decided that being in touch with the femine side would be the truth key in his quest.

But wait! Does that make him gay?

Not in Chris' lifetime it doesn't. Thanks to 3 months of dry spell and constant hours of TV have deluded him. Based on the archetype you would see on movies and video games, you would learn of the "Tomboy", The girl with boyish next to dykish features would allow her to be swarmed by the opposite sex with her short hair and her appreciation of the Dresdon Dolls.

"If a girl could do it, So can a boy", Chris thought. Thus he has coined the term "[[Tomgirl]]." A man in touch with his feminine side, and totally heterosexual.}}

==Called Out==
{{see also|Calling Out "Tito" - Don}}

Almost a year after the PS3 incident, [[Chris]] [[Calling Out|called out]] Tito publicly, bragging about having his real name, "Don," and a supposed photo of him. Tito's full name and the supposed picture have both never been revealed, though Chris describes him as being "so [[fat]] he'd 'make the Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison." Chris threatened to release the full name and picture unless Tito met his demands, including apologizing to [[The Wallflower]] (who he calls his "[[Chris and reality|ex-girlfriend]]," along with saying her real name again). Other demands included coming forward to [[Sony]] for hacking Chris's PSN, and for Tito to give him ''one thousand'' dollars. This of course, intimidated Tito, leading to a video apology where he anxiously stated that he would meet Chris's demands, and left the Internet forever.

Nevertheless, Tito didn't end up giving Chris the money he demanded, as revealed by the [[Thorg Q&A]]. Despite this, Chris didn't reveal his identity either, [[Chris and the law|possibly after realizing that blackmailing is a crime]]. The Q&A also reveals that the real reason for Tito's retirement from trolling Chris was that he was busy with [[Manchester High|high school]] at the time. Other trolls have implied that Tito has insider knowledge on the events of [[28 October 2011]], however this knowledge has never been revealed.

===Tito's Apology===

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's Apology
| video = {{#ev:youtube|a55Q-BF_CCI}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = {{Website|Response to Chris's Demands}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}

''(grabs stomach and jiggles it)'' Heh-heeeeeey, little cuz! Uh...or, uh...[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] ''(lets go)'' if you prefer. It's uh...it's me, uh, Tito! Or, uh, or Don, um...listen, man, I-I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I-''(points at the camera and slims down his belly)'' I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony]] to the hackers and...and I'll, uh ''(does a little dance)'' I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! ''(grabs his belly for dear life)'' Just don't- just don't release that video, eh, with--with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your slave for a whole week if I have to, I...''(dances again)'' I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down! I won't let ''you'' down.

{{References}}
{{Notes}}

==See also==
*[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
*[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
*[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]
*[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

{{TitoSaga}}
{{PS3Saga}}
{{CallingOutSaga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tito, Surfshack}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Hawaii]]

Netflix

2025-12-12T15:44:49Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Onslow.PNG|thumb|Chris, age 50.]]

'''Netflix''' is a streaming service which allows one to watch movies and TV shows over the internet, previously known for their DVD rental-by-mail service (later known as DVD.com). Netflix is also available on [[Xbox]] and [[PlayStation]] consoles, among many other platforms. Being obsessed with [[Chris and television|television]], [[Chris]] was an avid consumer of Netflix. The following is a collection of his orders and streams during [[2009]]. (His watch history ever since is unknown, but it can be safely presumed he still binge-watched [[Obesity|regularly]].)

As the list shows, Chris spent an awful lot of time watching stuff he had on his watchlist, whether they be classic BBC sitcoms or adult cartoons. On two occasions, he actually spent '''more than six and a half hours''' a day watching ''[[Wikipedia:Keeping Up Appearances|Keeping Up Appearances]]'' and ''[[South Park]]''. These long binge-watching periods are also notable in how Chris got into Netflix's streaming service a few years before it really exploded into popularity, and when they primarily still offered DVD by mail.

While Chris's list has some obvious favorites, there are also some surprising oddities; notably, ''[[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]]'' pops up. It's likely that Chris rented this expecting porn rather than a cheap Hungarian [[wikipedia:Troma Entertainment|Troma]] movie. As for ''[[Wikipedia:Story of O (film)|Story of O]]'', Chris probably chose it based on its description, not because he is a connoisseur of [[1970s]] French erotic arthouse cinema. Not to mention ''En la cama'', ''Battle in Heaven'', ''Grande École'', etc. Hell, probably the only reason why Chris watches foreign films is if they've got some on-screen [[china]] somewhere. Also of note is that he rented both of the ''Transmorphers'' movies, cheap knockoffs of ''[[Transformers]]'' made by The Asylum, a film studio known for making low-budget mockbusters to dupe unsuspecting buyers and piggyback the success of other films.

Chris also watched the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride|Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride]]", but did not seem to take to heart its [[Homos|message of tolerance]].

==Instant streaming history==
{| class="wikitable"
!Date
!Title
!Time
|-
|11/13/09
|''[[Monty Python]]: [[Random-access humor|And Now for Something Completely Different]]''
|01:35:29
|-
|11/13/09
|''[[The High School Story|Carrie]]''
|01:40:04
|-
|11/13/09
|''[[Wikipedia:30-Second Bunnies Theatre|30-Second Bunnies]]'': ''A Christmas Story''
|00:01:45
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Casablanca (film)|Casablanca]]''
|00:01:02
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Homos|Brokeback Mountain]]''
|00:01:02
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Caddyshack|Caddyshack]]''
|00:02:17
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Superman]]''
|00:01:01
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Office Space|Office Space]]''
|00:01:10
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Raiders of the Lost Ark|Raiders of the Lost Ark]]''
|00:01:02
|-
|11/13/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Sex toys|The Ring]]''
|00:01:05
|-
|11/13/09
|''[[Wikipedia:Keeping Up Appearances|Keeping Up Appearances]]'': "A ''Bon Vivant'' Buffet"
|00:29:05
|-
|11/13/09
|''[[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]]''
|00:43:44
|-
|11/13/09
|The [[Red Skelton]] Collection: "Freddy the [[Monthly tugboat|Freeloader]]'s Christmas Dinner"
|00:52:02
|-
|11/14/09
|''[[Wikipedia:Tripping The Rift|Tripping The Rift]]'': "God Is Our Pilot"
|00:23:14
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "Mutilation Ball"
|00:22:02
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "Miss Galaxy 5000"
|00:22:36
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "Sidewalk Soiler"
|00:24:16
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "The Devil and a Guy Named Webster"
|00:22:11
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "Totally Recalled"
|00:22:24
|-
|11/14/09
|''Tripping The Rift'': "2001 Space Idiocies"
|00:21:46
|-
|11/14/09
|''[[Wikipedia:Therese and Isabelle|Therese and Isabelle]]''
|02:04:46
|-
|11/14/09
|''[[Wikipedia:The Pigkeeper's Daughter|The Pigkeeper's Daughter]]''
|01:23:41
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]]''
|00:02:03
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''Christmas Vacation''
|00:01:13
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Borat (film)|Borat]]''
|00:01:03
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''Bond''
|00:02:44
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Spider-Man (film)|Spider-Man 1 & 2]]''
|00:01:06
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Pirates of the Caribbean (series)|Pirates of the Caribbean 1 & 2]]''
|00:01:02
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:March of the Penguins|March of the Penguins]]''
|00:01:02
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Die Hard|Die Hard]]''
|00:03:05
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Napoleon Dynamite|Napoleon Dynamite]]''
|00:01:42
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Saw (film)|Saw]]''
|00:03:24
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Asperchu#Trial_and_execution_of_Asperpedia_staff|The Grudge]]''
|00:01:28
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Kill Bill|Kill Bill]]''
|00:01:45
|-
|11/14/09
|''30-Second Bunnies'': ''[[Wikipedia:Snakes on a Plane|Snakes on a Plane]]''
|00:01:55
|-
|11/15/09
|''[[Wikipedia:Keeping Up Appearances|Keeping Up Appearances]]'': "The Name Is Bouquet B-U-C-K-E-T"
|00:56:32
|-
|11/15/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Welcoming the Dishy Vicar"
|00:29:03
|-
|11/15/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Visiting an Acquaintance's Stately Home"
|00:29:19
|-
|11/18/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Let There Be Light"
|00:32:37
|-
|11/18/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Sea Fever"
|01:23:05
|-
|11/18/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "A Very Merry Hyacinth"
|00:30:37
|-
|11/18/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Riparian Entertainments"
|00:29:17
|-
|11/19/09
|''[[South Park]]'': "[[Wikipedia:Weight Gain 4000|Weight Gain 4000]]"
|00:23:56
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:Volcano (South Park)|Volcano]]"
|00:37:17
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[Barbara|An Elephant]] [[Hanky-panky|Makes Love to]] [[Jerkop|a Pig]]"
|00:37:38
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[Homos|Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride]]"
|00:15:20
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[Death]]"
|00:23:22
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "Starvin' Marvin"
|00:23:00
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo]]"
|00:28:23
|-
|11/19/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:Mecha-Streisand|Mecha-Streisand]]"
|00:30:36
|-
|11/21/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "Angel Gabriel Blue"
|02:29:18
|-
|11/21/09
|''Keeping Up Appearances'': "How to Manage a Family Christening"
|00:30:12
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut|Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut]]"
|00:27:08
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut|Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut]]"
|00:29:33
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[IRC (27 December 2008)|Chickenlover]]"
|00:23:11
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "Ike's [[Pickle|Wee Wee]]"
|00:30:35
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:Conjoined Fetus Lady|Conjoined Fetus Lady]]"
|00:23:01
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka|The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka]]"
|00:25:09
|-
|11/21/09
|''South Park'': "[[Wikipedia:City on the Edge of Forever|City on the Edge of Forever]]"
|00:47:11
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Runaway Racoon”
|00:23:38
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Rabbit Town”
|00:23:27
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Rhino Melancholy”
|00:23:36
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Dolphin Daydream”
|00:23:32
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Greedy Bears”
|00:23:36
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Fox Waltz”
|00:23:32
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Easy Albatross”
|00:23:32
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “The Mole Rat Speaks”
|00:23:32
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Human Scapegoat”
|00:23:30
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Rabid Wolf”
|00:23:34
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “A Beastly Feast”
|00:23:36
|-
|7/3/20
|''BNA: Brand New Animal'': “Anima-City”
|00:23:34
|}

{| class="wikitable"
!Date
!Total Time
|-
|11/13/2009
|5:30:48
|-
|11/14/2009
|6:30:28
|-
|11/15/2009
|1:54:54
|-
|11/18/2009
|2:55:36
|-
|11/19/2009
|3:39:32
|-
|11/21/2009
|6:25:18
|-
|7/3/20
|4:42:49
|-
|Total
|31:39:25
|-
|Average
|4:31:21
|}

==Queues on 21 [[November 2009]]==
Chris's queues give a more complete perspective on his [[video]]-watching habits. Notable among the entries is a large number of mediocre-to-terrible [[Sex|romance]] films and documentaries; judging from their titles, they were chosen in the hopes of finding some [[mass debating]] material. There are also quite a few horror films. It should be noted that ''Fritz the Cat'', a film with an extreme amount of [[Bestiality|yiffing]], is on the list.

===Instant Queue===
{| class="wikitable"
!Position
!Title
!Rating
|-
|1
|[[Abusive babysitter|''The Babysitters'']]
|3.036
|-
|2
|[[Wikipedia:The House Bunny|''The House Bunny'']]
|3.239
|-
|3
|[[Wikipedia:This Girl's Life|''This Girl's Life'']]
|2.928
|-
|4
|[[The High School Story|''Carrie'']]
|4.0*
|-
|5
|[[Transformers|''Transmorphers'']]
|1.887
|-
|6
|''[[Wikipedia:9½ Weeks|9½ Weeks]]''
|3.174
|-
|7
|''[[Wikipedia:Dangerous Beauty|Dangerous Beauty]]''
|3.79
|-
|8
|[[Wikipedia:Dangerous Liaisons|''Dangerous Liasons'']]
|3.753
|-
|9
|[[Monty Python|''And Now for Something Completely Different'']]
|5.0*
|-
|10
|''30-Second Bunnies Theatre'': Season 3
|3.0*
|-
|11
|[[Sonichu_and_Rosechu%27s_Luv_Shack|Fear Dot Com]]
|2.633
|-
|12
|''[[Wikipedia:I Still Know What You Did Last Summer|''I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'']].
|3.05
|-
|13
|[[Wikipedia:Story of O (film)|''Story of O'']]
|2.748
|-
|14
|[[Wikipedia:En la cama|''En la cama'']]
|2.859
|-
|15
|[[Wikipedia:Battle in Heaven|''Battle in Heaven'']]
|2.222
|-
|16
|[[Wikipedia:Grande École (film)|''Grande École'']]
|2.735
|-
|17
|[[Wikipedia:Heavy Metal (film)|''Heavy Metal'']]
|5.0*
|-
|18
|[[Wikipedia:Virtual Girl|''Virtual Girl'']]
|2.231
|-
|19
|''[[Wikipedia:Species – The Awakening|Species – The Awakening]]''
|2.786
|-
|20
|[[Wikipedia:Frozen River|''Frozen River'']]
|3.395
|-
|21
|[[Wikipedia:Bushwhacked (film)|''Bushwhacked'']]
|3.39
|-
|22
|''Keeping Up Appearances''
|5.0*
|-
|23
|[[Red Skelton|''The Red Skelton Collection'']]
|5.0*
|-
|24
|[[Wikipedia:American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile|''American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile'']]
|3.353
|-
|25
|[[Christian%27s_sex_joke|Sex and Breakfast]]
|2.318
|-
|26
|''Thérèse and Isabelle''
|5.0*
|-
|27
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]]
|2.604
|-
|28
|''Foreplay''
|1.778
|-
|29
|[[The_Hook_Cafe|''Strictly Sexual'']]
|3.011
|-
|30
|''[[Wikipedia:Sleepless in Seattle|Sleepless in Seattle]]''
|3.863
|-
|31
|''Tender Is the Heart''
|2.206
|-
|32
|[[Wikipedia:Better Than Sex (film)|''Better Than Sex'']]
|2.999
|-
|33
|[[Wikipedia:If Lucy Fell|''If Lucy Fell'']]
|2.996
|-
|34
|[[Virgin_with_rage|''Nice Guys Sleep Alone'']]
|2.924
|-
|35
|[[Wikipedia:Shut Up and Kiss Me (film)|''Shut Up and Kiss Me'']]
|2.392
|-
|36
|[[Wikipedia:Lovelife|''Lovelife'']]
|2.714
|-
|37
|[[Wikipedia:Daffy Duck's Quackbusters|''Daffy Duck's Quackbusters'']]
|3.803
|-
|38
|[[Wikipedia:The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie|''The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie'']]
|4.047
|-
|39
|[[Wikipedia:The NeverEnding Story (film)|''The NeverEnding Story'']]
|3.913
|-
|40
|[[Wikipedia:Inspector Gadget|''Inspector Gadget'']]
|3.739
|-
|41
|[[Wikipedia:The Nightmare Before Christmas|''The Nightmare Before Christmas'']]
|3.953
|-
|42
|[[Wikipedia:The Inspector|''The Inspector'']]
|3.696
|-
|43
|[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|''MythBusters'']]: Big Blasts Edition
|4.213
|-
|44
|''MythBusters'': Collection 1
|4.21
|-
|45
|[[Wikipedia:Tripping the Rift|''Tripping the Rift'']]: Season 1
|3.317
|-
|46
|[[Monty Python|''Monty Python's Flying Circus'']]
|3.901
|-
|47
|''American Swing''
|2.673
|-
|48
|''[[Wikipedia:Indie Sex|Indie Sex]]''
|3.276
|-
|49
|''[[Wikipedia:Species III|Species III]]''
|2.938
|-
|50
|[[Wikipedia:Quarantine (film)|''Quarantine'']]
|3.048
|-
|51
|[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie|''Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie'']]
|3.103
|-
|52
|[[Wikipedia:The Animatrix|''The Animatrix'']]
|3.686
|-
|53
|[[Wikipedia:Harry Novak|''The Pigkeeper's Daughter'']]
|4.0*
|-
|54
|[[Wikipedia:Video Vixens|''Video Vixens'']]
|1.883
|-
|55
|[[Obesity|''I Want Candy'']]
|2.534
|-
|56
|''[[Wikipedia:List of National Lampoon films|National Lampoon's Spring Break 24/7]]''
|1.917
|-
|57
|''[[Wikipedia:Cartoon Noir|Cartoon Noir]]''
|2.427
|-
|58
|[[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|Memories]]
|3.667
|-
|59
|[[Wikipedia:Read or Die|''Read or Die'']]
|4.054
|-
|60
|Air TV
|3.87
|-
|61
|[[Wikipedia:Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles|''Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles'']]
|3.665
|-
|62
|[[Wikipedia:Dead Space: Downfall|''Dead Space: Downfall'']]
|3.277
|-
|63
|''[[South Park]]'': Season 1
|4.151
|-
|64
|''South Park'': Season 2
|3.904
|-
|65
|[[Wikipedia:Tripping the Rift|''Tripping the Rift'']]: Season 2
|3.622
|-
|66
|''South Park'': Season 3
|4.043
|-
|67
|''Tripping the Rift'': Season 3
|3.392
|-
|68
|''South Park'': Season 4
|4.127
|-
|69
|''South Park'': Season 5
|4.2
|-
|70
|''South Park'': Season 6
|4.267
|-
|71
|''South Park'': Season 7
|4.207
|-
|72
|''South Park'': Season 8
|4.24
|-
|73
|''South Park'': Season 9
|4.154
|-
|}
Chris's ratings are denoted with an asterisk.

===DVD Queue===
{| class="wikitable"
!Position
!Title
!Rating
|-
|1
|''[[Sonic]] X'': Season 5: Disc 2
|3.519
|-
|}
{| class="wikitable"
!Position
!Title
!Rating
|-
|1
|''Sonic X'': Season 6, Disc 1
|3.562
|-
|2
|''Sonic X'': Season 6, Disc 1
|N/A
|-
|3
|''[[Transformers]]: Beast Wars'': Season 1, Disc 1
|3.838
|-
|4
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 1, Disc 2
|
|-
|5
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 1, Disc 3
|
|-
|6
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 1, Disc 4
|
|-
|7
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 2, Disc 1
|3.963
|-
|8
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 2, Disc 2
|
|-
|9
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 3, Disc 1
|3.965
|-
|10
|''Transformers: Beast Wars'': Season 3, Disc 2
|
|-
|11
|[[Transformers|''Beast Machines'']]: Disc 1
|3.762
|-
|12
|''Beast Machines'': Disc 2
|
|-
|13
|''Beast Machines'': Disc 3
|
|-
|14
|''Beast Machines: Disc 4
|
|-
|15
|''[[Transformers]]: Armada'': Season 1, Part 1, Disc 1
|3.493
|-
|16
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 1, Disc 2
|
|-
|17
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 1, Disc 3
|
|-
|18
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 1, Disc 4
|
|-
|19
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 2, Disc 1
|3.464
|-
|20
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 2, Disc 2
|
|-
|21
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 2, Disc 3
|
|-
|22
|''Transformers: Armada'': Season 1, Part 2, Disc 4
|
|-
|23
|''[[Transformers]]: Energon'': Vol. 1
|3.436
|-
|24
|''Transformers: Energon'': Vol. 2
|
|-
|25
|''Transformers: Energon'': Vol. 3
|
|-
|26
|''Transformers: Energon'': Vol. 4
|
|-
|27
|''[[Transformers]]: Cybertron'': Disc 1
|3.357
|-
|28
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 2
|
|-
|29
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 3
|
|-
|30
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 4
|
|-
|31
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 5
|
|-
|32
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 6
|
|-
|33
|''Transformers: Cybertron'': Disc 7
|
|-
|34
|[[Wikipedia:Transmorphers|''Transmorphers'']]
|1.887
|-
|35
|[[Wikipedia:Transmorphers: Fall of Man|''Transmorphers: Fall of Man'']]
|2.26
|-
|36
|[[The_High_School_Story|''Carrie'']]
|3.746
|-
|37
|[[Wikipedia:Zombie Strippers|''Zombie Strippers'']]
|2.556
|-
|38
|[[Wikipedia:Twilight (film)|''Twilight'']]
|3.8
|-
|39
|[[Wikipedia:Evan Almighty|''Evan Almighty'']]
|3.488
|-
|40
|[[Adult Swim]] & Stones Present: Mad Villain
|2.393
|-
|41
|[[Wikipedia:Slayers Return|''Slayers Return'']]
|3.858
|-
|42
|[[Wikipedia:Love in Paris|''Another 9½ Weeks'']]
|2.351
|-
|43
|[[Wikipedia:The First 9½ Weeks|''The First 9½ Weeks'']]
|2.835
|-
|44
|[[Wikipedia:Angels & Demons (film)|''Angels & Demons'']]
|3.757
|-
|45
|''Angels & Demons'': Bonus Material
|2.933
|-
|46
|[[Wikipedia:The Ring (2002 film)|''The Ring'']]
|3.552
|-
|47
|[[Wikipedia:The Ring Two|''The Ring Two'']]
|3.0
|-
|48
|[[Wikipedia:Are You Being Served? (film)|''Are You Being Served?'']]
|3.31
|-
|49
|[[Wikipedia:Species II|''Species II'']]
|2.979
|-
|50
|[[Wikipedia:Species (film)|''Species'']]
|3.131
|-
|51
|[[Wikipedia:Fritz the Cat (film)|''Fritz the Cat'']]
|3.012
|-
|52
|[[Wikipedia:The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat|''The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat'']]
|2.934
|-
|53
|''Very Private Lesson'
|2.92
|-
|54
|''[[Wikipedia:Kekko Kamen|Kekko Kamen]] Surprise!''
|2.216
|-
|55
|''Kekko Kamen Returns!''
|2.339
|-
|56
|''Kekko Kamen New!''
|2.361
|-
|57
|''Kekko Kamen Strikes Back!''
|2.559
|-
|58
|[[Wikipedia:Nana (manga)|''Nana'']] Uncut: Vol. 1, Disc 1
|3.978
|-
|59
|''Nana'' Uncut: Vol. 1, Disc 2
|
|-
|60
|''Nana'' Uncut: Vol. 1, Disc 3
|
|-
|61
|[[Wikipedia:Elfen Lied|''Elfen Lied'']]: Vol. 1, Vector One
|4.17
|-
|62
|''Elfen Lied'': Vol. 2, Vector Two
|
|-
|63
|''Elfen Lied'': Vol. 3, Vector Three
|
|-
|64
|''Elfen Lied'': Vol. 4, Vector Four
|
|-
|65
|[[Wikipedia:Shaun of the Dead|''Shaun of the Dead'']]
|3.959
|-
|}

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Websites]]

The Hook Cafe

2025-12-12T15:44:32Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or, what [[Pokemon|Ash Ketchum]] would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity|fat]], [[Chris and health|acne-ridden]], and [[homos|deeply closeted]] [[Chris|manchild]].]]

'''''The Hook''''' '''Cafe''' was the online personal-ad unit of [[Charlottesville]]'s former local alternative weekly paper, ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)|The Hook]]''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the blunt nickname "direct2[[sex]]," declaring that he "Need Sexy Sweets from Woman." A 90-day pass to the site cost [[Chris and money|$40]], which meant that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris was no longer interested merely in "true love," but was also pursuing the side quest of getting laid. This was not totally unexpected, as many of his followers had always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get some [[china]], and that if Chris could get to the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.

Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a 28-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women at least 21 (as opposed to 18) years old (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate).

This was not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on ''The Hook'' Café. An earlier attempt, in which Chris had promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," had fallen victim to hackers around early 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].

Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this site. Thus began an on-and-off-again relationship lasting until at least [[February 2012]].

On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the internet.

On 27 [[December 2011]], ''The Hook'' announced that it was shutting down Café for good at the end of the year. The magazine itself went under on 26 [[September 2013]] and was replaced with ''[[C-Ville]] Weekly''.

==Ad==
[[Image:direct2sex.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
The following consists of all the information included in the ad. All misspellings and unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion|Methodist]]" and "None") might be the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.

===Introduction===
I am an [[honest content|honest]], [[Don't Mess With Me|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[CWCFlyingElephants|humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity|overweights]], [[Chris and Race#Black people|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies|liars]] need not apply.

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Man''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''[[Fuck Quest|Friends with benefits]], [[Hanky-panky|Some Action]], Casual Dating''' 
Body Type: '''[[Obesity|Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate]]''' 
Eyes: '''[[Heterochromia|L=Blue, R=Green]]''' 
Height: '''5' 10"''' 
Hair Type: '''[[Hair|Brown]]''' 
Age: '''28''' 
Seeks: [[china|'''Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|College graduate]]''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''[[Chris and religion|None, Christian / Methodist]]''' 
Political Leanings: '''[[Obama|Moderate]]''' 
City: '''[[Ruckersville]]''' 
Occupation: '''[[Chris and art|Artist]]''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Socially]]''' 
Drugs: '''[[Yawning Squirtle|Not interested]]'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu|Car]], [[Parkay|Walk]]''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Conscious Omnivore]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine|Reading]], [[Sonichu|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Shopping]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], Biking''' 
Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Sex Joke|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''

===Deeper===
The best thing about Charlottesville is: '''The vast history behind it.'''

My radio dial is usually tuned to? '''[[Chris and music|Z-95.1]]'''

Quote a line from your favorite movie. '''[[Mary Poppins|Supercalifragilisticespialadocious]]'''

[[A Hike|Thomas Jefferson]] makes me: '''feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.'''

The first thing I read in the Hook is? '''[[Chris and art|The Arts]].'''

Name three things [[Semen|you shouldn't have eaten]]. '''Beets, [[Pickles]], Relish.'''

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Tobacky|smokers]]''' [[Chris and English|is]] a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: [[Chris and reality|the brain of a '''college graduate''' and the body of a '''Playboy Womam]]'''

[[Mom|People]] say '''[[Chris and his Ego|my face is my best feature]]'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''[[Chris and art|The Arts]]'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''sweet compassion''' The quickest way to my bed is '''honest lovin'''' And in the morning, I like my [[Christian's sex joke|eggs]] cooked '''fried and well-done'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'''

'''[[Golden Corral]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
'''[[Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Summer''' or Winter

'''[[Computers|PC]]''' or Mac

'''Cavaliers''' or [[War Paint Video|Redskins]]

'''[[Chris and death|Casket]]''' or Cremation

Fax or '''Email'''

[[Hair|Dyed or '''Natural''']]

SUV or '''[[Son-Chu|Sedan]]'''

==See also==
* [[Dating profiles]]
* [[Match.com]]

==External links==
*[http://www.readthehook.com/102541/hook-caf-personals-place-closing-1231 Article regarding the Café's shutdown]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hook Cafe}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Defunct websites]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga]]

Match.com

2025-12-12T15:43:52Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up his first account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to sometime in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24, and Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart. However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], from which he graduated in [[2005]]. Additionally, a page on his [[CWC's Pokésite 2|Pokésite]] seeking a girlfriend ages 18-22 (implying a year of [[2004]]) mentions his Match.com page, so probably he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it very much since then. He logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], but by [[June 2014]] it was gone.

The text of the page was pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet regarding his Love Quest: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There were, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He failed to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a white or Asian woman.

A second Match.com profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Exactly when Chris opened it is not known. It is certain to to have been made after [[March 2011]], since he describes himself as a [[Tomgirl]], an identity he didn't adopt until that month.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> As of late 2015, this profile had also apparently been taken down.

Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's four profile pictures.]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris listed Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profile. Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was given as his hometown.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Obesity|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris has ever been since high school.'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]]
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Clover and Snoopy|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile==
'''"Bless me with your sweetness, and I will do what I can for you."'''

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic," "Christian / LDS," "Christian / Protestant," and "Christian / Other." It's not clear why Chris made this particular choice, but it may be related to a [[Chris and religion|crisis of faith.]] It is also possible that he was not aware that Methodism is a type of Protestantism.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and Race|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==References==
<references/>

{{The Internet}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Jackie

2025-12-12T15:43:26Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Troll|She was primarily played by [[Alec Benson Leary]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/question-about-jacky.994/post-65366</ref>}}
{{Wise|Jackie was from the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] universe and that she was real.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>}}
{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Jacklyn Romy
|image = Jackiethumb.png|imagesize=250px
|year = 1987
|gender = Female
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|occupation = Magazine editor
}}

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free <s>girl</s>]] [[troll]] whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]. She became his [[sweetheart]] from [[April 2010|April]]-[[October 2010]], and Chris made her many videos. According to one of Chris's leaked Facebook statuses in [[February 2012]], he had resumed contact with her, before blocking her that [[April 2012|April]] after several private videos Chris made for her were leaked onto the Internet. However, in May, he re-friended her on Facebook.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==
{{collapsible|Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile|

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build]], [[Fangs|straight teeth]], and a [[Chris_and_health#Dental_health|good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonald's |go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend at my family's cabin, travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a family]] with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, [[Hanky panky|Sex]], Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], [[Fashion Square Mall|Shopping]], Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random-access humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming?'''
[[Bionic the Hedgehog|Wilt Chamberlain]], [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homos|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[bigotry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[Chris and art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

Black or '''|Brown'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickle|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''}}

==First contact==

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail. She would also revive the [[GAMe PLACe]] [[Saga]] by getting him to [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|revisit the store]] in an attempt to get unbanned.

At the end of the month, Jackie sent a slew of e-mails criticizing him for his laziness and his [[Vanessa_AIM_Chat_2|lack of loyalty]], which was prompted by her discovering the [[CWCki]]. Chris denied all of her accusations, ending with her ceasing communication with him for 2 months. The relationship rekindled when Jackie would discover [[For Women ONLY|one of]] Chris's [[Flipnote Hatena]] animations, where he gave a shout-out to her. While Jackie would initially start emailing him out of confusion and frustration, their conversations turned casual and they would start talking regularly.

By [[September 2010]], Chris and Jackie had settled down into a friendly long-distance correspondence, as evidenced by their chats, which covered a range of topics featuring open and [[Honest Content|honest content]]. In [[September 2010]], Jackie repeatedly asked Chris to draw very specific pictures of the two of them having sex. As Jackie had a gangbang fetish, she requested that Chris draw multiple men masturbating to the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to cop out of the deal by either drawing women or somehow concealing the [[pickle|male genitalia]] on their onlookers (at one point claiming that a puddle of [[semen]] counted as one man who had finished masturbating and left the scene). On May 6 2012, a fourth picture was released, this time showing the pair having sex in a pool as two pairs of feet look on. Jackie has an odd resemblance to [[Family Guy|Lois Griffin]].

==Lars==
[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|An artist's depiction of Lars.]]

'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]] (which he eventually stopped buying upon realizing that it was [[Lego#Addiction_and_financial_ruin|an unhealthy addiction]]). He also made Jackie have an abortion against her will, and later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref> Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

[[Image:Lars Paradise.jpg|thumb|left|Lars Paradise by [https://javajake.newgrounds.com/ Java Jake]]]

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris, who shockingly got along well with Lars after a while. Lars was portrayed by [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] mimicking an exaggerated Ebonics dialect, which Chris eventually started to emulate.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/abl-q-a.805/#post-54378</ref>

==[[Jackie's Halloween Contest|The Halloween Contest]]==

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|The Cosplays]]

On [[September 2010|September]] Jackie would make Chris [[Song for Jackie.MOV|cosplay as Mr Popo]] for her, which he would agree to do. This seemly gave Jackie an idea, as on the same day she gave Chris a challenge, to make a cosplay video for every day of [[October 2010|October]]. He would initially refuse it, which made Jackie cry, but after some rule verifications Chris would be completely on board. Most of Chris's cosplays are bizarre depictions of the characters that most would not recognize if not told who it's supposed to be.

Chris would make a video daily for most of the month, but in the last few days he would fail to produce the videos Jackie wanted. This would cause her to break up with him in [[November 2010|November]], sending him a series of incredibly long-winded emails, chastising him for every single one of his flaws. She would then go back to dating Lars.

==Tomgirl Saga==

For months, Jackie and Chris wouldn't communicate much, with maybe an email or two every month. This all changed on [[March 2011]], when Chris would tell Jackie about his awakening as a [[Tomgirl]], also sending her a bunch of photos of him in feminine attire. Jackie would respond during [[April 2011|April]], supposedly turned on by the images and said that 'I liked the appetizer, but I'd really love a main course!'. She explained in a subsequent e-mail that Lars had gone on a bender, and while she still wanted him as a friend they were not in a relationship anymore. This opened the gate for Chris and Jackie's relationship to continue.

Jackie used Chris's much more disturbing appearance to get him to create much more disturbing content, such as the now infamous [[Cakefarts]], along with many other videos of Chris doing degrading acts. These videos all supposedly turned Jackie on, despite them all being nothing but horrifying. Jackie would offer Chris [[China|sex]] in return for these videos, but for [[Troll|obvious reasons]] this would never happen

This saga was abruptly cut short when [[Bob]] died. Chris would send an email to Jackie grieving over his loss, and getting mad at the grim reaper for making him die so early. According to [[Marvin]], Chris had a phone call with Jackie where he cried and sobbed over Bob's death, though it was never released out of respect. This is the last known interaction between Jackie and Chris, likely due to Jackie finding it immoral to troll Chris while he was grieving.

==In the comic==
[[File:Jackie and Vulva.jpg|thumb]]

When Chris resumed ''Sonichu'' in [[2017]], he decided to include events that had happened during the years-long hiatus which began in [[2009]]. Jackie and a character she created in [[2011]] named Vulva Pie<ref>[[July 2017 Patreon posts#Alt-Cover]]</ref> are featured in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. In the story, Vulva has a fling with [[Robbie Sonichu]] in summer [[2011]], which is cut short when Jackie, her mother, dumps Chris and leaks the content she got from him, compelling them both to go "on the lam".

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] explained Vulva's name:

{{quoteboxred|We came up with the name "Vulva Pie" during Jackie and we didn't explain to Chris what it meant.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-17-sonichu-12-pages-15-26.32353/page-3#post-2434229</ref>

He's too autistic to change it now. Her name is Vulva in his head, and while he's annoyed that trolls got him to name her that, it's too late now as far as he's concerned.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-17-sonichu-12-pages-15-26.32353/page-4#post-2434568</ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Template:JackieSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Virginia]]

OkCupid

2025-12-12T15:43:00Z

HurdyGurdsen:

'''OkCupid''', one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as [[Match.com]], OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for [[Chris and money|free]], only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] joined this one with high hopes, and has renewed his profile many times, despite never successfully attracting anybody through it.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|Screencap of the profile.]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it quickly, and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of [[True and Honest]] [[China|love]]. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual [[sex]]".

While mildly entertaining, this profile didn't last long; after a short time it was hacked by [[troll]]s. Fortunately, Chris would make more profiles in the future.

{{collapsible|Profile text|I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and [[Plagiarism|Creative]].

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[naive|young at heart]]. I'm currently writing a [[comic]] book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit [[Autism|shy]], but I would enjoy the company of [[Boyfriend-free girl|a beautiful girl]] who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of [[JERKS|men]] make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise [[Monthly tugboat|care]], [[Women's rights|respect]], [[Chris and death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-free girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''My Details'''

Looking for: [[gal pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]}}

OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, and race, all of which Chris left blank.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu". This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly written but largely benign profile into a violently insane, sex-obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually every chronological thing Chris has ever made or done, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

In the subsections below, editor's notes and translations are marked in Italics.

===First version===
The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively harmless. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. Unfortunately, this simple, placid version of the profile was the calm before the storm.
{{-}}
{{collapsible|Profile text of the first version|
'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[Pedofork|young at heart]]. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would [[Sex|enjoy the company]] of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from [[high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] and single.

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

'''What I’m doing with my life'''

I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on [[PlayStation 3|my projects]] and helping my family.

'''I’m really good at'''

[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Chris and art|crafting]], [[The MovingFoward videos|making well-thought decisions]], [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

I would have to give it to [[The Creepy Stare|my face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

'''My favorite books, movies, music, and food'''

Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein]]; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonald's|Grilled Chicken]].

'''The six things I could never do without'''

-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PlayStation 3|PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

How and where to socialize better.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

At home playing my "[[Sonichu]]'s Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

'''The most private thing I’m willing to admit'''

-

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin with rage|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''English translation: I am an Autistic functioning at a high level, and I am a virgin searching for my pretty girlfriend.''

'''You should message me if'''
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
}}

===Second version===

Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually a distinct second form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] had been removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized with every edit, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{{collapsible|Profile text of the second version|
'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

'''What I’m doing with my life'''

I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

'''I’m really good at'''

[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|making well-thought decisions]], [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and [[Speech impediment|easy to converse with]].

'''My favorite books, movies, music, and food'''

Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

'''The six things I could never do without'''

*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
*Sex
*My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
*Sex
*My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
*[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
*My good health.
*My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

How and where to socialize better.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

'''The most private thing I’m willing to admit'''

I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

'''You should message me if'''

You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
}}

===Third version===

[[File:Dat-thinning.jpeg|thumb|Evidence of Chris' marked decline in health.]]

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}

On or around June 12, Chris revisited his OKCupid entry and updated it briefly. Beyond an extra line, Chris added in a new section to the list. Prior to doing this, he had claimed he was [[Chris and Hypocrisy|leaving the internet]].

{{collapsible|Profile text of the third version|
'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compañía de una mujer bonita quién la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un título y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatía y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo quería hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

I am compassionate, reliable, and honest

'''What I’m doing with my life'''

I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

'''I’m really good at'''

[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

'''My favorite books, movies, music, and food'''

Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

'''The six things I could never do without'''

*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
*My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
*My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
*My [[Health|good health]].
*My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.
*[[McDonalds|Food]]/[[Coca-Cola|Water]]

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

How and where to socialize better.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

'''The most private thing I’m willing to admit'''

I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

'''I'm looking for'''

*Girls who like guys
*Ages 21-28
*Near me
*Who are single
*For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

'''You should message me if'''

You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
}}

===Fourth version===

As of February 2013, Chris's profile had been updated once again. The final version of this profile featured new references to [[tomgirl]]ism and a considerable de-emphasis on the importance of quick sex. Particularly notable about this update was the addition of a new photo, showing Chris to have a [[Chris and health|sickly blue complexion]], thinning and receding uncut [[hair]], and worsening [[obesity]]. This apparent decline in health is hardly surprising, considering Chris' sedentary lifestyle and gratuitous consumption of [[McDonald's]].

Also of note is Chris' insistence that all potential dates "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS", a mantra he has repeated on his [[Facebook]] profile and even in personal correspondence, referring people who wish to know more about him to the [[CWCki]] while simultaneously instructing them to "IGNORE ALL DEROGATORY CONTENT". Obviously, Chris had failed to realize the paradoxical effect of preemptively instructing people to ignore anything bad they may read about him, only serving to further interest in his autistic antics. Also, in this version of the profile, Chris removes all of the existing Spanish text, perhaps having realized his [[Attraction Sign|list of demands]] to which his heartsweet must conform precludes Hispanic women.

{{collapsible|Profile text of the fourth version|
'''My self-summary'''

I am an all-around, [[Toys|emotionally mature]], good natured, high-functioning [[Autism|autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[Cwcville]], VA. ([[Chris and reality|IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS]])

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant [[Stress|heartaches]].

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Future Wife from the ground up]]. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had [[Julie|bad]] [[Ivy|online]] [[Jackie|experiences]] numerously from a lot of [[Trolls|fake people]]. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be.

'''What I'm doing with my life'''

I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[Sonichu (comic)|projects]] and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

'''I’m really good at'''

Drawing, writing, crafting, [[28 October 2011|making well-thought decisions]], heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food'''

[[Goosebumps]] or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

'''The six things I could never do without'''

*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
*My iPhone.
*My creative genius.
*My good health.
*My glasses.
*Food/Water.

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

[[Attraction Sign|How]] and [[Fridays After Five|where]] to socialize better.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

I am Very Interested in pleasantly livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights. ;)

'''The most private thing I’m willing to admit'''

I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Compassionate]] And Passionate.

'''I’m looking for'''

*Straight girls only
*Ages 25–30
*Near me
*Who are single
*For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

'''You should message me if'''

You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] (no personal offense), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) [[Honest Content|Honest]], Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA, H) financially stable ([[Monthly tugboat|I get along fair and surviving]]), and You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.
}}

{{clear}}

==LevelUpKing profile==
[[File:LevelUpKing okcupid profile screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg|thumb|Screencap of the profile.]]
In July 2014, a [[CWCki Forums]] member found yet another OkCupid profile that Chris created.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/updated-okc-profile.4193/ (archive: https://archive.ph/rLTq9)</ref> A [[July 25, 2014 Leaks|chat with an anonymous friend]] indicates that it had been set up by a [[gal pal]] by 28 June, and that Chris was so shy and incompetent that he depended on other friends to find and screen potential dates. He asked one male acquaintance to actually begin "flirty" conversations with them.

In this iteration of the profile, Chris at first comes off markedly saner than last time, having opted to substitute horrifying [[Honest Content]] with embellishments and outright lies about himself, such as claiming he enjoys recreational walking. However, despite the façade of the profile being less terrifying than in previous iterations, Chris's usual brand of aggressive insanity can be found if one scratches the surface.

For instance, in this edition of the profile he makes no mention whatsoever of neither his habit of crossdressing nor his motivation for doing it (hinting at it through his "fashion", as if that were in any way indicative). This, at first, presents a saner picture than before, but a quick foray into the horrifying "Photos" section reveals his tomgirlish ways [[Tomgirl Pictures|ad nauseam]], something for which his "heterosexual male" profile provides no explanation whatsoever. This makes him look like a complete lunatic.

The profile consists of many other embellishments and lies--Chris claiming that he is good at "anything art related", has a huge imagination, cares deeply for his family, etc. He implies he is the head of his household, claiming to be "looking after" Barb and the pets, the [[tugboat|reasoning]] for which is conspicuously absent. One thing which has carried over from previous profiles is his demand that women verify their identity to him, Chris proclaiming that an "immediate" real-life meeting with him is "Mandetory".

There are other notable omissions - partial and total - besides Chris's tomgirlism. Chris's mentions of [[Legos]] is fairly sparse considering that when he wrote the profile he was slavishly addicted to them and spending literal thousands of dollars on sets (although unbeknownst to Chris, a 32-year-old man mentioning Legos at all would be fairly damning). Chris makes no mention whatsoever of his current [[Rental House|living situation]]. As in the fourth version of his previous profile, Chris does not attempt any Spanish in this edition, although he still claims dubiously to be "okay" at it (as well as [[Chris and English|"fluent" in English]]). His [[Attraction Sign|obligatory list of things his partner must be or have]] is partially omitted; it is truncated in his main profile in this version, but it can be pieced together in all its glory by perusing the [[List of OkCupid Answers|1,333 personality questions]] he answered.

OkCupid generates a chart based on a user's answer to personality questions, in order to compare them to other users on the site. Chris was determined to be "more morally conventional", "[[Chris and religion|more spiritual]]", "[[Chris and art|more artsy]]", "more sloppy", "worse mannered", "[[Chris and sex|less sex driven]]", "[[Barbara Chandler|less independent]]", "[[Chris and remorse|less compassionate]]", "[[Love Quest|less experienced in love]]", "[[Chris and his Ego|less arrogant]]", "[[Chris and reality|less scientific]]", and "less experienced in life" than the average OkCupid user.

The profile was mostly unused by September, for [[trolls|mysterious reasons]]. By this time, however, the account had already netted him [[Catherine]], so he wasn't too concerned.
[[File:TrollsonOKCupid2014.png|thumb|Why Chris stopped using the account.]]

{{collapsible|Profile text|
'''My self-summary'''

I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm [[List of Chris's lies|genuine]] about how I feel and [[Chris and hypocrisy|I stick to my beliefs]]. I care about those closest to me, especially [[Cole Smithey|my family]]. I have a [[Things Chris has ripped off|big imagination]] and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm [[slow-in-the-minds|a little scatterbrained]], so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

'''What I’m doing with my life'''

Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at'''

Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

[[Tomgirl Pictures|My fashion. ;)]]

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food'''

Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without'''

No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|The most private thing I’m willing to admit]]'''

I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for immediate in person meeting with me.

'''I’m looking for'''

*Girls who like guys
*Ages 23–32
*Near me
*Who are [[Boyfriend-free girl|single]]
*For [[gal pal|new friends]], long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''You should message me if'''

YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please.

And if you are single, caring, compassionate, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY or ASAP. :)

'''My Details'''

Orientation: [[Homos|Straight]]

Ethnicity: [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White]]

Height: 5'10"(1.78m)

Body type: [[obesity|Average]]

Diet: [[McDonald's|Mostly anything]]

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: [[Chris and religion|Christianity]], and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it's fun to think about

Education: Ggraduated from two-year college

Job: Other

Income: [[monthly tugboat|-]]

Relationship status: Single

Relationship type: [[Vanessa Hudgens|Strictly monogamous]]

Offspring: [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Doesn't have kids, but wants them]]

Pets: Has dogs and has cats

Speaks: [[Chris and English|English]] (Fluently), [[Spanish]] (Okay)
}}

===Photos===
<center><gallery>
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 1.jpg | A (comparatively) flattering photo showing his ponytail and smug expression.
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 2.jpg | Though his [[fashion]] choices have become Tomgirl-themed, Chris still clashes primary colours and looks like a clown.
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 3.jpg | The rapidly-balding artist in profile.
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg | A frightening photo where Chris looks like [[Barb]] when she was obese. Featuring the newest form of the [[Attraction Sign]].
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 5.jpg | Oh dear.
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg | Presumably candid; Chris appears to be [[Michael Snyder|paranoid]] about something.
File:LevelUpKing okcupid personality screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg | A graph of sorts which shows information about a user's personality.
</gallery></center>

==LevelUpQueen profile==
[[File:Chris enema.jpg|thumb|A new photo added to those above. Look at the foreground.]]
As Chris's "relationship" with [[Catherine]] came to an end, he renewed his online [[Love Quest]] in [[December 2014]] with a new profile which included changes to reflect his new gender identity. With his name changed to "LevelUpQueen" (which required a fee to OkCupid), he declared himself both a "Lesbian Transwoman" and a "man looking for women". Further muddying the waters, he claimed that he would "work best" for straight, bi, and lesbian women. He stressed he wanted an "open relationship" and was interested in a "menage a trois". He also seemed to have a more open attitude towards friendship; instead of looking for "girls who like guys", he was now looking for "everybody", and he also stated dubiously that he would be interested in meeting married women for "friendship". Other than these new features, the profile was very similar to the LevelUpKing incarnation.

{{collapsible|Profile text|
'''My Self-Summary'''

<nowiki>**Looking to be in an open relationship**</nowiki>

I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm genuine about how I feel and I stick to my beliefs. I care about those closest to me, especially my family. I have a big imagination and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of fashion matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm a little scatterbrained, so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

I am also a Female, Lesbian Soul in this Male Body; a Lesbian Transwoman (Very Interested in Women) (no operation). I would work best for any woman, her being straight, Bi or Lesbian.

I am a very proud LGBTQ Rights supporter, and would be an activist if the event is local. I also like to attend local Pride Festivals and such events.

'''I’m looking for'''

Everybody
Ages 23–32
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''What I’m doing with my life'''

Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at'''

Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me'''

My fashion. ;)

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food'''

Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without'''

No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about'''

How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am'''

At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''The most private thing I’m willing to admit'''

I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for it to be immediate in person, meeting with me.

'''You should message me if'''

YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please.
And if you are truly caring, compassionate and understanding, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY (most preferably) or ASAP.

Also, if you are a married woman, I would consider meeting for pleasant, casual conversations and whatnot.

And I would be involved in a menage a trois only consisting of two women.

'''My Details'''

Orientation: Straight

Ethnicity: Native American, White

Height: 5′ 10″ (1.78m)

Body Type: Average

Diet: Mostly anything

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: Christianity, and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it’s fun to think about

Education: Graduated from two-year college

Job: Other

Income: -

Relationship Status: Single

Relationship Type: Non-monogamous

Offspring: Doesn’t have kids, but wants them

Pets: Has dogs and has cats

Speaks: English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)
}}

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Match.com]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20090811174147/http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20140726143539/http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpKing Chris's third OkCupid profile] [https://archive.is/pVsZ7 Archive]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpQueen Chris's fourth OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

List of OkCupid Answers

2025-12-12T15:42:29Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[OkCupid]] determines match rankings between its users by asking them a series of questions, and determining how they answer. These questions are randomly assigned, and can be answered whenever the user feels like it. The user can select a single answer for themselves, and multiple answers that he or she would be okay with potential matches picking. The user can also choose to add a brief personal comment to an answered question. Chris has answered hundreds of questions over the years on his various profiles.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
{{main|OkCupid#ChrisCSonichu profile}}
Due to the tireless efforts of [[Clyde Cash]] we have obtained archives of many of Chris's answers submitted for his second OkCupid profile in 2009. As is the norm with Chris, the answers range from completely [[Honest]], to untrue things that [[ego|he genuinely believes]], to complete [[lies]] that he thinks girls want to hear.

Chris's personal answers are underlined, and answers he would like girls to pick are in green. There is considerable overlap between the two.

===Politics and Law===
'''In a relationship I like to discuss politics with my partner.'''
* All the time!
* Sure. I'm interested in sharing our beliefs.
* Sometimes. It depends.
* Hardly. Politics are boring or personal.
'''Which of the following is the more appropriate penalty for [[rape]]?'''
* Death.
* Castration.
* Prison.
* Community service or less.
'''Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?'''
* book burning
* flag burning
'''Should burning your country's flag be illegal?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Politically, which are more important to you right now?'''
* Social issues
* Economic issues
* I don't really care about politics

===Relationships===
'''How important is it for you to make [[Megan Schroeder|physical]] [[Kacey|contact]] when showing affection for someone?'''
* Very important
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own [[Chris and race|skin color / racial background]]?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Most of all, I want to meet someone who deserves MY:'''
* trust.
* loyalty.
* admiration.
* gratitude.
'''If you inadvertently found a phone number in a partner's pocket, which would you do?'''
* Call the number to see whose it is.
* Openly ask what/who the number is for.
* Nothing, I would trust my partner.
* Nothing, my partner's privacy should be respected.
'''If you were in a serious relationship and you learned that your partner cheated on you one drunken night, could you forgive him/her?'''
* Yes, if he/she was sincerely sorry.
* No, never.
* It depends on the situation.
* I don't believe in monogomy.
'''If you were going to have a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|child]], would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* This would not be an important factor to me.
'''If you were in a long term relationship and your partner [[Obesity|gained weight]] due to something like surgery recovery or childbirth, would you think less of them as a person?'''
* No, my partner's weight is irrelevant to me.
* No, my partner's health is what is most important.
* Not if they are willing to work hard and lose it.
* Yes, weight gain is so unattractive.
'''Would you ever stop dating someone based on a rumor you heard about them?'''
* Yes.
* Maybe, I'd give my date a chance to explain first.
* No.
'''What kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?'''
* Physical/Sexual.
* Mental/Emotional.
* Neither is important.
* Both are equally important.
'''If you were in a serious relationship, would you mind if your significant other maintained an active profile on OkCupid?'''
* Yes - I would mind this.
* No - This would not bother me.
'''Would you consider dating someone who dislikes children?'''
* Yes.
* No.
'''Your significant other's ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react?'''
* Sure, no problem.
* Not thrilled, but go ahead.
* Not just no... HELL no!
'''If you were in a long-term monogamous relationship, would you consider your partner "open mouth" kissing someone else cheating?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you consider having an open relationship, where you can see other people?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If one of your potential matches was overweight, would that be a dealbreaker?'''
* Yes, even if they were slightly overweight.
* Yes, but only if they were obese.
* No.
* No, in fact I prefer overweight people.
'''Would you avoid all contact with an ex if your current significant other asked you to?'''
* Yes, of course!
* No. This would be an unacceptable demand.
* Only if their justification seems reasonable.
'''Do you Google someone before a first date?'''
* Yes. Knowledge is power!
* No. Why spoil the mystery?
'''Would you--for any reason--read your mate's email or pose as him/her online, without his/her knowledge and permission?'''
* Yes, they shouldn't be keeping secrets anyway.
* Yes, I'd be too curious not to.
* Only if I suspected them of something.
* No, I'd trust them and that would be invasive.
'''Your significant other is traveling and has the opportunity to stay with a good friend that you know they find to be very attractive. What's your stance on the situation?'''
* It would be totally unacceptable.
* It might be ok, but I'd want to discuss it first.
* It's fine - I don't see any problem.
* It sounds sexy - Hopefully they'll hook up.
'''You get married. Five years later, you realize it was a mistake. Discussion and counseling haven't made a difference. You just don't love your partner anymore. He/she still loves you. You decide to:'''
* Keep trying. Marriage means commitment.
* Get a divorce. It'll be better for both of you.
'''How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?'''
* Totally willing!
* Hesitant, but would consider.
* I am not interested in meeting in person.
'''How much affection can you tolerate?'''
* Inifinite
* Most of it.
* A little bit.
* Get off me!!
'''How important is it to you to have your own unique "thing" (like a weekly Girls' Night Out or Guys' Movie Night) that you don't share with your partner(s)?'''
* Very - I need some ME time to be happy
* Sort of - I need friends outside of my partner
* Not much - I like sharing stuff with my partner
* I'd prefer not to have exclusive things
'''How long do you want your next relationship to last?'''
* One night
* A few months to a year
* Several years
* The rest of my life
'''How do you feel about falling in love?'''
* I love it and want it very much
* I try to avoid it
* I like to just let it happen
* I'm indifferent / not sure
'''Would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|'seeing someone' or 'married']]?'''
* Yes to both
* No to both
* Yes to 'seeing someone' only
* Yes to 'married' only
'''Which makes for a better relationship?'''
* Passion
* Dedication
'''Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other daily, in some way (phone, email, in person, etc.)?'''
* Yes, no matter what
* Yes, unless otherwise specified
* No, it's not necessary
* No, I'd prefer not to communicate daily
'''Which of these options most closely describes what you're looking for in your next relationship?'''
* Someone to come home to
* Someone to go out with
* Someone for tonight
'''How much can intelligence turn you on?'''
* Intelligence can turn me on a lot!
* Intelligence can turn me on a bit.
* Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
* Intelligence turns me off.
'''How long do your romantic relationships usually last?'''
* 0-6 months
* 6-12 months
* 12+ months
* I've never been in a relationship
'''Do you believe in monogamy?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure

===Sex===
'''I prefer to sleep ...'''
* Alone
* With my partner, but apart (not touching)
* Touching my partner
* Embracing / cuddling my partner
'''You're in a relationship/marriage and feel that you and your mate aren't having sex frequently enough. What do you do?'''
* Talk to them about it
* Try to spice things up. (Toys, fantasies, etc)
* Do nothing, but hope things change naturally.
* Cheat on them / Break up with them.
'''How willing would you be to try out new things sexually with a partner?'''
* Completely willing.
* Somewhat willing.
* Not at all willing.
'''[[Women's Rights|Straight women who kiss or fondle each other]] in clubs in the hopes of attracting men are...'''
* Incredibly hot!
* Just having some girlish fun.
* Profoundly annoying.
'''How would you feel if your partner asked you to get tested for STDs before having sex with you for the first time?'''
* Positive (relieved, accepting, happy, or proud).
* Neutral.
* Negative (offended, annoyed, angry, or afraid).
'''You're in a romantic relationship with someone you really like. As far as you're concerned, how long will it take before you'll have [[Chris and Sex|sex]]?'''
* 1-2 dates
* 3-5 dates
* 6 or more dates
* Only after the wedding
'''How important is it that a partner be capable of intelligent intercourse?'''
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Might you consider dating someone who confided to you that he/she had a sexually transmitted disease?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Ideally, how often would you have sex?'''
* Every day
* 3 to 4 times per week
* 1 to 2 times per week
* less than once per week
'''How open are you to trying new things in bed?'''
* Very open. I'll try anything once.
* I'm open, but I don't get too crazy.
* Hesitant, but it might happen.
* Not at all.
'''Do you like to cuddle?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Sometimes - It depends.
'''Is contraception morally wrong?'''
* Yes
* No
* Depends on the kind
'''Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Which best represents your opinion of [[homos|same-sex relationships]]?'''
* Girl-on-girl is okay, but guy-on-guy is wrong.
* Guy-on-guy is okay, but girl-on-girl is wrong.
* All same-sex relationships are wrong.
* It's all fine by me.

===Faith and Religion===
'''Are you Christian?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in public schools?'''
* Yes, students should hear both sides
* No, creationism has no place in public schools
* No, evolution has no place in public schools
'''Would you ever change your religion (or adopt one) because your significant other wanted you to?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you date an atheist?'''
* Yes
* No
'''How important is [[Chris and religion|religion/God]] in your life?'''
* Extremely important
* Somewhat important
* Not very important
* Not at all important

===Life and [[Death]]===
'''How do you feel about kids?'''
* Kids are precious - they love me and I love them!
* They're okay, but keep the unruly ones at bay.
* God, how revolting. *shudder*
* I'm indifferent.
'''If your best friend began talking of suicide and asked you not to tell anyone, would you be willing to honor their request?'''
* Yes, it's their life to do with as they see fit.
* Yes, but I'd do my best to talk them out of it.
* No, I'd find help for them.
'''What is most appealing?'''
* Settling down with a family someday
* A life of singledom
* Living spontaneousy and in the moment
'''When a [[PandaHalo|woman]] chooses to abort a pregnancy, should she be required to inform [[Clyde Cash|the father]]?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Possibly, depending upon other factors.
'''If it comes to having children, would you prefer to adopt or to be one of the biological parents?'''
* I would rather be one of the biological parents.
* I would rather adopt.
* Either would be equally fine.
* Neither - I'd prefer to not have children at all.
'''When is suicide okay?'''
* Always.
* In special cases, such as to prevent suffering.
* Never.
'''Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?'''
* Yes
* No
'''To you, is abortion an option in case of an unwanted accidental pregnancy?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?'''
* Love
* Wealth
* Expression
* Knowledge
'''Are you happy with your life?'''
* Yes
* No
* Most of the time
'''Are you looking for a partner to have children with?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Would you ever consider adopting a child or being artificially inseminated on your own if you gave up on finding a life partner?'''
* Yes, and I'd keep dating
* Yes, and I'd dedicate myself to the child
* No, I wouldn't do it
'''If you were to die, would whoever goes through your [[sex toys|personal belongings]] be shocked by what they find?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe a little bit.

===Hygiene===
'''How important is it to you that your partner smell good?'''
* Very damn important
* Important-ish
* Less important than you might think
* I just don't care.....at all
'''Does finding a long-term partner give you license to "let yourself go," (lower your standards of personal hygiene or appearance or gain large amounts of weight)?'''
* Yes, I preen only to attract a mate
* No, I do it for myself
* No, I want to make sure I hang on to him/her
* I have low standards in the first place
'''How frequently do you bathe or shower?'''
* At least once a day.
* Usually daily. I skip some.
* A couple times a week.
* Once a week or less.
'''How often do you brush your teeth?'''
* Twice or more a day
* Once a day
* Only on days I feel like it
* Rarely / never

===Vices and Virtues===
'''Do you ever feel the need to get really [[Alcohol|drunk]]?'''
* Often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
'''How often do you [[Tobacky|smoke cigarettes]]?'''
* At least one cigarette a day
* Once in a while / only when drinking / rarely
* Never
'''Do you consider yourself to be an honorable person?'''
* Yes, I always try to do the right thing.
* Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
* No, not really.
* Are you kidding? I lie, cheat, AND steal.
'''Are you careful with your money?'''
* Yes
* No
How often are you open with your [[Chris and Anger|feelings]]?
* Always
* Usually
* Rarely
* Never
'''Does smoking disgust you?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Rate your self-confidence:'''
* Very, very high
* Higher than average
* Average
* Below average
'''What's your deal with harder drugs (not marijuana)?'''
* I do drugs regularly.
* I do drugs occasionally.
* I've done drugs in the past, but no longer.
* I never do drugs.
'''Do you keep a [[Chris and Money|budget (of your finances)]]?'''
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
'''How often do you keep your promises?'''
* My word is my bond. No exceptions.
* Whenever possible
* Usually
* When convenient
'''What's your relationship with marijuana?'''
* I smoke regularly
* I smoke occasionally
* I smoked in the past, but no longer
* Never
'''Are you vegetarian or vegan?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you space out or daydream a lot?'''
* All the time
* Never / rarely
* Sometimes

===Misc.===
'''Do you enjoy finding out what makes things work the way they do?'''
* I'm an information sponge
* Sometimes
* As long as it works, who cares why?
'''Without using a dictionary or other tool, can you choose the commonly misspelled word? Don't cheat! It's okay if you don't know.'''
* 1. separate
* 2. definate
* 3. committee
* (Not sure / dumb question / who cares)
'''Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you have a problem with [[Chris and Race|racist jokes]]?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you like to be read to aloud?'''
* Yes, it makes me happy.
* Only when I'm sick.
* Maybe when I was five.
* Nope.
'''Do you and your ideal significant other enjoy making sarcastic jokes at each other's expense, knowing that it's all in good fun?'''
* Yes! That's a personality trait we have to share.
* Sometimes, but not too much.
* No, sarcasm doesn't belong in a love relationship.
* I can't dish it out, but I'd take it, I guess.
'''Would you prefer good things happened, or interesting things?'''
* Good
* Interesting
'''What is your quest?'''
* To find true love.
* To find happiness.
* To find your fortune.
* To find the [[Monty Python|Grail.]]
'''How often do you meditate?'''
* Frequently.
* Rarely.
* Never.
'''Which is worse: [[Sonee & Rosey|starving children]] or [[Chandler cats|abused]] [[Patti Chandler|animals]]?'''
* Starving children.
* Abused animals.
* Neither, both are good.
* Neither, they are equally bad.
'''How much influence or control do your parents have over your life?'''
* I am my own person.
* I consider their opinion but go my own way.
* I almost always do what my parents think is best.
* I always do what my parents say.
'''When birds stand on power lines and don't get hurt, it's most likely because of:'''
* Good timing; they only land between calls
* Body materials that are insulated from current
* Not touching anything else at the same time
* They do get hurt; they just express it poorly
'''If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?'''
* Good
* Bad
'''STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to...'''
* 89457
* [[Honor roll|98547]]
* 89754
* 89547
'''Which of these is likely to make you more nervous?'''
* A promising first date
* An important interview
'''What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _'''
* 36
* 48
* 46
* Don't know / don't care / dislike this q
'''Gender roles ...'''
* Exist for good reason - Should not be questioned.
* Are undergoing a [[Tomgirl pictures|refreshing redefinition.]]
* Are irrelevant, outdated and unnecessary.
'''What is your [[Mass debating|back-up plan]] if you can't find a date on a Friday night?'''
* Call up a friend, go see a movie
* Hit the town solo: you never know what will happen
* Self-improvement: go to the gym or read a little
* Two words: drinking alone
'''Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?'''
* Yes
* No
* Only if no one is looking
'''Which is [[obesity|bigger]]?'''
* The earth
* The sun
'''To you, which adjective best describes hopeless, unrequited love?'''
* Romantic
* Foolish
* Creepy

==LevelUpKing profile==
{{main|OkCupid#LevelUpKing profile}}
In mid-2014, Chris provided new answers to hundreds of questions on his [[OkCupid#LevelUpKing profile|LevelUpKing profile]]. In the table below, Chris's answers are marked with an underline.

{| class="wikitable"
! Question
! Answers
! Explanation

|-
| Have you ever dated or been with an exotic dancer? ||
* Yes
* No
* Maybe
|| As far as I know or recall from how I was informed.
|-
| Do you think that masturbation is an acceptable practice? ||
* Yes.
* No, it is unhealthy.
* No, it is against my beliefs.
* No, it is both unhealthy and against my beliefs.
||
|-
| Were you born the same gender as you are now? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think it is important to be fluent in more than one language? ||
* Yes, absolutely.
* Yes, if possible.
* No, who cares?
* No, I expect others to speak my native language.
||
|-
| For people who are in exclusive relationships, is masturbation a form of infidelity? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Imagine you are having sex with a partner, who begins to give you specific instructions on how to best provide satisfaction. Assuming there is no danger, would you follow these instructions? ||
* No. That would be the end of that encounter.
* No. I'd continue doing it my way.
* Yes, but I would be offended.
* Yes. I'd be greatful for the communication.
||
|-
| Drinking and driving can be kind of cool. ||
* True
* False
||
|-
| Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe in dinosaurs? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you practice Hinduism? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you feel that having sex with someone you have known less than one year would be too soon? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you going to run away as soon as it is commitment time? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Can people of color be racist? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you generally finish all of the food on your plate? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Or until I feel full.
|-
| Would you read a book just for fun? ||
* Yeah, I like to read.
* What, me read if I don't have to?
* If I have nothing better to do.
||
|-
| Does the idea of childbirth disgust you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe that courteous behavior, such as saying "thank you" or holding a door, is important even when the other person involved does not deserve it? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Astronomy or astrology? ||
* Astronomy.
* Astrology.
||
|-
| Do you feel that animals are more important than humans? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you be comfortable masturbating in front of a partner? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I don't masturbate.
||
Only upon private, in person request from a woman.
|-
| Do you enjoy outdoor activities such as camping, hiking or fishing? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you watch a porno movie with your ideal match? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Upon request.
|-
| Which do you prefer in a significant other, generally speaking? ||
* Dominance/Aggression
* Submission/Shyness
* A little of both, depending on the situation
||
|-
| Do you enjoy exercise? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like reading tabloids? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Meh; only the fronts of them if caught my eye.
|-
| Do you freak out when you get a little upset? (i.e scream, yell and cry) ||
* Yes
* No
* Only when no one is around
* Only when someone is around
||
|-
| Is it wrong to watch pornographic films if you're in a relationship? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are sex and intimacy the same thing? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you care whether or not humanity survives beyond your own lifetime? ||
* Yes. I hope it does.
* Yes. I hope it does not.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you a virgin? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you tend to blow off your responsibilities? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are geeks sexy? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If a date were to give you a gift, which would you rather receive? ||
* Flowers.
* A box of chocolates.
* A carton of cigarettes.
* A creative item made by them.
||
|-
| Do you loathe or tremendously dislike most of the people you encounter? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that one week prior to your birthday, you receive a package from a friend. It is clearly labeled, "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Do you wait as instructed before opening it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you try to draw attention to your body by wearing seductive clothing? ||
* Yes
* [[Tomgirl Pictures|No]]
||
I'm not sure.
|-
| Do you subscribe to polytheistic beliefs? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would it ever be okay to break up with someone by email or text? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path? ||
* Yes
* No
* Only if no one is looking
||
|-
| Do you have time for a committed relationship in your life at this point? ||
* Yes, absolutely
* Probably not
* No
||
|-
| Do you find that extremely intelligent people are intimidating? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you knew with certainty that you could go to a wonderful afterlife and everything would be fantastic, would you kill yourself? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Do you believe that there exists a statistical correlation between race and intelligence? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of the following broad gender descriptions are you most attracted to? ||
* Femininity.
* Masculinity.
* Androgeny.
* No preference.
||
|-
| As an adult, have you ever been single for more than a year straight? ||
* [[Love Quest|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Do you say 'Thank you' to wait staff when served in a restaurant? ||
* Always.
* Most of the time.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to engage in mutual masturbation with someone? You would be pleasing yourself and watching them do the same, but no touching each other. ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Only with a woman.
|-
| Do you spend more money on clothes or food? ||
* Clothes
* Food
||
|-
| Are you squeamish about sharing food or beverages with the person you're dating? ||
* Yes
* No
* Only at first
||
|-
| Did you join OkCupid just so you could find people to have sex with? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are some sex acts with consenting adults inherently wrong or immoral? Assume no unusual risk of injury. ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Someone has deep feelings for you. Might you abuse this love purely for sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you the type of person to tell a homeless person to get a job? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that your partner has a horrible accident and is left in a coma and on life support. The odds of improvement are nil. Your partner's living will states that life support should be removed in this scenario. Which would you do? ||
* Remove the life support immediately.
* Follow proper procedures to get it removed.
* Walk away and let others decide.
* Fight to keep partner alive.
||
|-
| Sexually explicit art or song lyrics should be ||
* Embraced as an art form
* Accepted as free expression
* Censored to protect society
||
|-
| Have you ever participated in a high school or college marching band? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Both.
||
|-
| Would you ever seriously date someone twice your age? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do wild places such as mountains, rivers and forests call out to you? ||
* [[A Hike|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Do you think people living in rural areas are more ignorant, on average, than city folks? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What would you do if your partner reveals to you that she/he was raped in the past? ||
* Freak out, grow apart, and eventually leave them
* Sympathize and make the relationship grow stronger
* Ask them to stop living in the past
* Thank them for sharing the secret
||
|-
| Have you made fun of anyone recently, knowing that it probably upset them? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you ever engage in a sexual activity you didn't enjoy, just because your partner did? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you date someone who has genital herpes? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you saw a really fantastic magic trick performed, would you want to know the secret behind how it was done? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do overweight people annoy you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you ever consider cutting a partner (who asked for it) in sexual play? ||
* Yes
* Maybe
* No
||
|-
| How important is it for you to give expensive gifts on a regular basis when in a relationship? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
||
|-
| You are more likely to have an orgasm via ||
* Intercourse
* Oral sex
* Masturbation
* Sheer force of will
||
|-
| BDSM: Without looking it up, do you know exactly what it stands for? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would it bother you if someone you were dating let a dog lick their face? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you prefer to have one true love forever, or lots of fun and meaningful relationships? ||
* One true love
* Lots of relationships
||
|-
| Do you like the taste of blood? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you borrowed a car with a handicapped plate/tag/sticker, but you were not handicapped, would you take advantage and park in a designated handicapped spot? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is making fun of someone for being thin any different from making fun of someone for being fat? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Imagine your first face-to-face meeting with someone you met online has just gone well, but lacked the spark of your prior online contact. Would you want a second meeting? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if they suggested it.
||
I prefer to meet in person Immedtately or ASAP.
|-
| Could you date someone who used anti-depressants? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of the following would you most expect to determine from a first date? ||
* Sexual compatibility.
* Emotional compatibility.
* Spiritual compatibility.
* Financial compatibility.
||
|-
| When you're not in a serious relationship, what do you prefer? ||
* Dating multiple people at once
* Dating one person at a time
* I only have serious relationships; I don't 'date'
||
|-
| You are unloading the dishwasher. You remove an item that seems entirely clean, except for one long hair caked to the surface of it. What do you do? ||
* Wash the item by hand.
* Put the item back in the dishwasher.
* Scrape the hair off and put the item away.
* Leave the hair there and put the item away.
||
|-
| Have you ever written a screenplay or stage play? ||
* Yes, both.
* No, neither.
* Screenplay only.
* Stage play only.
||
|-
| Your cell phone rings while you are having a conversation with a friend. You: ||
* Take the call.
* Ignore the call.
* See who's calling and decide if you'll answer.
* I don't have a cell phone.
||
|-
| Can overweight people still be sexy? ||
* Always
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Right this minute, how clean is your main personal bathroom, (say the one you use every morning when you wake up in your own bed)? ||
* Spotless, shiny, germ-free, clean clean clean.
* Clean-ish but could use a quick touch-up.
* Not awful, but it could use a good cleaning.
* Disgusting! even I cringe when I have to use it!
||
|-
| How many pictures of family and friends do you carry with you in your purse or wallet? ||
* 10 or more.
* 1 to 10.
* None.
* I don't carry a wallet or purse.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who kept a gun in the house? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do most politicians really want to make the world a better place? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe you have the right to forbid your significant other anything? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you careful with your money? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you annoyed by people who are super logical? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I would get annoyed only if they boast about it a lot.
|-
| What is worse, being poor or alone? ||
* Poor
* Alone
||
|-
| I talk about my previous relationships: ||
* All the time
* Occasionally
* Almost never, unless explicitly asked about them.
* Never, even if explicitly asked about them.
||
|-
| Are you allergic to cats? ||
* No
* Slightly, but that doesn't keep us apart.
* Yes, but anti-histamines solve that problem.
* Yes. I keep my distance from them.
||
|-
| No means NO! ||
* Always. Period.
* Mostly, occasionally it's really a Yes in disguise
* A No is just a Yes that needs a little convincing!
* Never, they all want me. They just don't know it.
||
|-
| Are military uniforms a turn on? ||
* Yes
* No
* I wear one to work
||
|-
| Do you currently grow any of your own food? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How many books do you own? ||
* Less than 5
* 5-25
* 25-50
* 50+
||
|-
| Would you date someone who states up front that they will never be willing to go dancing? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| On weekends / days off, do you like to get out and make the most of the day, or do you prefer to sleep late and relax? ||
* Get up and do something
* Sleep late and relax
* It varies
||
|-
| Watching cartoons as an adult is...? ||
* Pathetic
* Cool
* I don't care either way / Not sure
||
|-
| Are you smarter than all your friends? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I am not sure, and I do not know Everything.
|-
| Is it possible for someone to really be 'too nice'? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How many times would a person have to turn you down before you took the hint? ||
* Just the once.
* I like to try a few times just to make sure.
* After the 10th time I call it quits.
* I'm relentless!
||
Tell Me Direct and Loud.
|-
| If someone intentionally damaged your property, would you be more likely to call the police, or to fight them? ||
* Call the police
* Fight them
||
But hesitant; f***ing hate the Jerkops.
|-
| Which of the following do you consider to be the best explanation for the existence of human life on Earth? ||
* Humans evolved from other species.
* Humans were created by a higher power.
* Humans were brought to Earth from the stars.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to date someone with ADD (attention deficit disorder)? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don't know
||
|-
| Did you ever take a class in school just because you heard the person you liked was taking it? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If it comes to having children, would you prefer to adopt or to be one of the biological parents? ||
* I would rather be one of the biological parents.
* I would rather adopt.
* Either would be equally fine.
* Neither - I'd prefer to not have children at all.
||
|-
| If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel? ||
* Good
* Bad
||
|-
| Should only those who pay taxes be allowed to vote? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Voting power should be proportional to taxes paid.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Which of the following "solutions" do you think would provide the biggest reduction in crime rates? ||
* More and better trained police
* More and better armed civilians
* More and better implemented social programs
* More severe punishment for convicted criminals
||
|-
| What's more important to you? ||
* Your world
* Your country
||
|-
| Would you be comfortable being poor for the rest of your life? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How often do you forget plans, meetings, things to do...the garbage, etc? ||
* Never
* Quite Often
* Once in a while
||
|-
| While shopping at a superstore (e.g. Wal-Mart, Target, etc.), if you change your mind about buying something you've picked up, do you walk back to where you found it to put it back? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who does not know how to read? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Could you date someone who was really quiet? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you usually wash your hands before every meal? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine you are given $1,000,000 and told you must give it to one of the following political causes. Where do you donate the money? ||
* Right to free speech.
* Right to bear arms.
* Pro-choice causes.
* Anti-abortion causes.
||
|-
| If you turn a left-handed glove inside out, it fits... ||
* On my left hand
* On my right hand
||
|-
| Have you ever had sex with a person within the first hour of meeting them? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How do you eat your cupcake? ||
* Always start with frosting
* Always starts with the cake
* I don't have a consistent way of eating a cupcake
||
|-
| Do you believe that money can buy happiness? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you dump someone simply because they weren't good at sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that it's your first date with someone you are very interested in. Which of the following works best for you? ||
* I'd meet them at a mutually decided location.
* I'd have them pick me up at my place.
* I'd pick them up at their place.
* It doesn't matter.
||
|-
| What volume level do you usually prefer when listening to music? ||
* Loud or louder.
* Somewhere in the middle.
* Soft and in the background.
* I prefer to not listen to music.
||
|-
| A bird has built a nest on your house or garage. Do you knock it down? ||
* Yes, I'm scared of birds
* Yes, for some other reason or no reason at all
* No, what's the big deal?
* No, and I hang a feeder 20 feet away
||
|-
| Do you usually feel the need to shower or bathe after having sex? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I've never had sex.
||
|-
| You stop to pick up a newspaper and notice that the coin-operated dispenser was not completely closed. No one is around so you have the opportunity to take a paper without paying. Which of the following would you do? ||
* Pay for a paper and close the dispenser.
* Steal a paper and close the dispenser.
* Steal a paper and leave the dispenser open.
* Steal all of the remaining papers.
||
|-
| STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to... ||
* 89457
* 98547
* 89754
* 89547
||
|-
| Upon leaving a store, you realize you were not charged for an expensive item. Which would you do? ||
* Go back and offer to pay.
* Nothing, it was their mistake.
* Attempt to return the item for a full cash refund.
||
|-
| Has anyone ever pressured you to marry them and failed? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
No proprosal ever.
|-
| In your ideal sexual encounter, do you take control, or do they? ||
* I take control
* They take control
||
|-
| Should the recipient give back an engagement ring if the engagement is broken off? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if the recipient initiates the break up.
||
|-
| How often should your significant other buy you gifts, jewelry, or other things more expensive than, say, dinner, cards, or flowers? ||
* Very frequently.
* From time to time.
* On special occasions (birthdays, Christmas, etc.).
* Never.
||
|-
| Parlez-vous français? ||
* Yes
* No
* What?
* Oui, je fais
||
|-
| If you had the opportunity to join the first manned mission to Mars but in exchange would never see earth again, would you do it? ||
* Of course, let's bring mankind to glory.
* Yes, there is nothing here that holds me.
* No, I'm not interested in space.
* No, I'd miss my life/my family/my planet too much
||
|-
| Would you be happy raising the kids while your spouse worked? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How do you feel about kids? ||
* Kids are precious - they love me and I love them!
* They're okay, but keep the unruly ones at bay.
* God, how revolting. *shudder*
* I'm indifferent.
||
|-
| Which of the following types of toys did you generally like best when you were about eight years old? ||
* Creative / building toys.
* Action figures, dolls, or model vehicles.
* Stuffed animals.
* Balls, frisbees, or other sporting goods.
||
|-
| Would the fact that a partner insisted you were perfect (had no faults) and refused to acknowledge your shortcomings, bother you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
NOBODY IS EVER PERFECT.
|-
| You're in bed, spooning behind your partner. Where would your hand(s) most likely be? ||
* Partner's stomach.
* Partner's genitalia.
* Partner's chest / breast / heart.
* I don't spoon - I only fork.
||
|-
| Your significant other is traveling and has the opportunity to stay with a good friend that you know they find to be very attractive. What's your stance on the situation? ||
* It would be totally unacceptable.
* It might be ok, but I'd want to discuss it first.
* It's fine - I don't see any problem.
* It sounds sexy - Hopefully they'll hook up.
||
|-
| Do you believe that heterosexual pornography is degrading to women? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Some is - Some isn't.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| If a blind date used a coupon while paying for dinner, how would you feel? ||
* Negative. That's tacky/cheap.
* Positive. Very sensible.
* I don't care either way.
||
|-
| Do you have a problem with racist jokes? ||
* Yes
* [[Barack Obama#White House gag|No]]
||
|-
| Does it bother you when people sing the wrong words to a popular song? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How much do you procrastinate? ||
* Lots
* Some
* Not so much
* Never
||
|-
| Are you more of a fast or careful talker? ||
* Fast
* [[Speech impediment|Careful]]
||
|-
| Have you ever used a fake ID to do or acquire something you were legally barred from as a result of your age? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you rather be the one to search out your match on OkCupid or have your match find you? ||
* I'd prefer to do the searching.
* [[Attraction sign|I'd prefer that someone find me.]]
||
|-
| How do you feel about putting children on leashes? ||
* I do not approve of this.
* I approve of this.
* I might approve under special circumstances.
* I could not care less.
||
|-
| Do you feel a need to own the most up-to-date electronic gadgets? ||
* Always.
* Sometimes.
* Never.
||
|-
| Do you like to argue? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What's worse on a first date? ||
* No physical attraction
* Nothing to talk about
||
|-
| Which of the following would you rather discuss with someone you just met? ||
* Musical preferences.
* Political beliefs.
* Philosophical beliefs.
* Sports.
||
|-
| Do you like to watch the Olympic Games? ||
* Yes, as much as possible.
* No, they do not interest me.
* I only watch certain events.
* I only watch athletes from my country.
||
|-
| Do you examine the nutritional information for the food you buy in stores? ||
* Always.
* Sometimes.
* Never.
||
|-
| When you are at the movies with your date or your friends, how much talking does it take to make you upset? ||
* No talking allowed upon the start of the film
* Talking during and usually about the trailers
* Little comments during the movie.
* Constant chatter, to you, others, or a cell phone
||
|-
| Your significant other's ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react? ||
* Sure, no problem.
* Not thrilled, but go ahead.
* No way.
||
|-
| Do you attempt to conserve water, energy or other resources during your everyday life? ||
* Yes, almost always
* Sometimes
* No, I don't care
* No, it's my right to waste as much as I want
||
|-
| You come home and discover that somebody's broken into your house, and they're still inside. You... ||
* Find the handiest weapon and confront them
* Call the police and let them handle it
* Spy on them from up the street, see where they go
* Hurry to a neighbor's and get their help.
||
|-
| Do you feel the urge to correct people who say stupid things? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Do you enjoy watching educational programming on television? ||
* Yes, often.
* Yes, on occasion.
* No, never.
||
|-
| Imagine on your birthday you receive three books. One is a religious text. One is a scientific text. One is a novel. Without knowing anything more about the topics or authors, which do you think you would enjoy the most? ||
* The religious text.
* The scientific text.
* The novel.
* I don't think I would enjoy any of them.
||
|-
| Do you stop to enjoy simple things in nature? ||
* Often.
* Sometimes.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| Have you ever traded a lover sexual favors for something you wanted? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which biological parent should have legal decision-making power in abortion decisions? ||
* The mother.
* The father.
* Both.
* Neither.
||
|-
| Are some of your best friends people you met or know online? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Having met In Person.
|-
| Do you read the news most days? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Does fashion matter to you? ||
* A lot
* A little
* Not at all
||
|-
| Is a welfare system a good idea? Or does taxing for it just take money away from hard-working people who earned it? ||
* Welfare is mostly good
* Welfare is mostly bad
||
|-
| If your partner needed lovemaking to always be gentle, would you be fine with this? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is love overrated? ||
* Yes, absolutely.
* Yes, a bit.
* No, it's fine.
* No, it's underrated.
||
|-
| Do you think that western medicine is better than alternative medicine (such as chiropractic, massage, naturopathy, herbology)? ||
* Yes
* No, they are both valid.
* No, Western medicine is too invasive
* I don't know
||
|-
| Ideally, what portion of your total hobbies and other recreational activities would you like to share as common with a partner? ||
* All.
* None.
* Up to one-half.
* More than one-half.
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who generally does not eat vegetables? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which method do you most often use to acquire products from stores? ||
* I usually pay with cash.
* I usually pay with a check or debit card.
* I usually pay with credit or a credit card.
* I usually steal products rather than pay for them.
||
|-
| When you're alone, do you talk to yourself out loud? ||
* Yes, always.
* Yes, sometimes.
* Yes, but only rarely.
* No, never.
||
|-
| Would you ever picket a business that you do not approve of? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you like to dance? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Karaoke? ||
* Absolutely!
* I haven't, but I might try it.
* I'd be too embarrassed.
* No way! How could that be any fun?
||
|-
| How often do you (or would you) call in sick to work or school when you are not actually ill? ||
* Never.
* Once, twice, or three times per year.
* Four to ten times per year.
* More than ten times per year.
||
|-
| Which superpower would you rather have? ||
* Flight
* Invisibility
||
|-
| Is there any genre of music that you completely refuse to listen to? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I don't listen to music.
||
|-
| Do you play any musical instruments? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| You've been chatting with someone and are hitting it off. They e-mail you nude pictures of themselves. What's your reaction? ||
* Very negative
* Sort of negative
* Sort of positive
* Very positive, maybe even send nudes back
||
|-
| Could you date someone who loved you with all their heart, and whom you liked a lot, but who was terrible in bed? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Would you be willing to lie on a job resume or application if you thought it would get you the job and you were sure you wouldn't get caught? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever asked a stranger if you could have a cigarette? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How does your maturity level compare with most people your age? ||
* I'm more mature
* I'm average
* I'm less mature
||
|-
| Do you mock religion? ||
* Yes, openly
* Yes, to myself/with friends
* No
||
|-
| Do you dress up for Halloween almost every year? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Does your culture/ethnicity/race play a large role in your identity? ||
* It plays a crucial part in who I am
* It's interesting, but not really
* Who I am is completely independent of my heritage
* I'm adopted
||
|-
| What's your relationship with marijuana? ||
* I smoke regularly.
* I smoke occasionally.
* I smoked in the past, but no longer.
* Never.
||
|-
| How familiar are you with the methods OkCupid uses to match people? ||
* Very familiar.
* Somewhat familiar.
* Not familiar.
||
|-
| Do you ever get inspired to make something creative for no reason in particular? ||
* Very Often
* Rarely / Never
* Sometimes
||
|-
| The first time you have stayed over with a new Lover, how would you like them to wake you up? ||
* With tea and toast
* With a Champagne cocktail
* With words
* With oral sex
||
|-
| Were you born in the United States? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Movies are best enjoyed... ||
* ...in the theater, with friends.
* ...on DVD, with extra scenes.
* ...on television, with commercials.
* ...not at all. I don't like movies.
||
|-
| Which word describes you better? ||
* Private
* Social
||
|-
| In an ideal world, who would get the highest priority in your life? ||
* My parents.
* My children.
* My significant other.
* Myself.
||
My Family and my closest ones.
|-
| Are politics interesting? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Have you ever donated your money or your time to a political campaign or political organization? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which size bed do you prefer? ||
* Twin (Single).
* Full (Double).
* Queen.
* King or larger.
||
|-
| Are you familiar with the concept of 'sexuality continuum'? ||
* Yes - I basically agree with it.
* Yes - I basically disagree with it.
* No - I am not familiar with this idea.
||
|-
| Do superficial people, who place a high emphasis on physical appearance, annoy you? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| If someone murdered a close friend of yours, would you hope for the death penalty? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
Devastate their Soul for Destroying Mine from Emotional Tortures!
|-
| Do you prefer? ||
* Slim Men/Women
* Average Men/Women
* Fuller Figured Men/Women
* I Don't Care/Not Fussy
||
|-
| How organized are the files on your computer? ||
* Very - Many Folders and Subfolders
* Somewhat - I can find most things
* Scattered - Everything thrown together
||
|-
| Which best describes the extent of your knowledge in terms of breadth and depth? ||
* I have very deep knowledge of a narrow area.
* I know a little about almost everything.
* I know a lot about a lot.
* I am basically stupid.
||
But I do not know Everything; nobody knows Everything, nor are "perfect".
|-
| Are you generally able to forgive and forget? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It really depends on the circumstances.
* I can forgive, but I never forget.
||
|-
| Are you an insomniac? ||
* Yes
* No
* Occasionally
||
|-
| Orgasms are clearly the most important part of sex. ||
* I agree.
* I disagree.
||
The journey there is most enjoyable.
|-
| Are you too embarrassed to sing along to the radio in the car when there's someone with you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends on who is with me.
||
|-
| How often do you find yourself holding back your knowledge of a subject because of how it might affect your image? ||
* Very often.
* Sometimes.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| Do you like to listen to audiobooks? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I've never tried them.
||
|-
| Do you believe your country would be more or less safe if every adult owned a gun? ||
* More safe
* Less safe
* Neither / unsure
||
|-
| Rivalry! Red Sox or Yankees? ||
* Sox!
* Yanks!
* Both suck.
* Baseball sucks.
||
Can't I choose "Both are good for all I know "?
|-
| A first date has gone relatively well so far. You discover that your date has absolutely no awareness of any significant current affairs from the last month. How might this make you feel? ||
* Disappointed.
* Indifferent.
* Pleased.
||
|-
| How often do you find yourself becoming annoyed because other people just don't seem to understand the obvious? ||
* All of the time.
* Frequently.
* Once in a while.
* Never.
||
People on the internet don't understand me at all; they hardly gave me an in-person chance.
|-
| When you see a heterosexual couple, what do you think if the female is taller? ||
* They look wrong together.
* I actually like it that way.
* Interesting, but it really doesn't matter.
* Who cares?
||
|-
| Would it bother you if your partner kept pictures of previous partner(s)? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Imagine while on a first date, your date brings up a controversial political issue that you feel strongly about. Before you can respond, they apologize and try to change the subject without revealing anything about their opinion. Which would you do? ||
* Give my opinion anyway.
* Try to find out their opinion.
* Both of the above.
* Go along with the subject change.
||
|-
| People consider me to be 'a loner'. ||
* True - Everyone thinks this of me.
* It's probable that many think this of me.
* It's possible that a few may think this of me.
* False - Nobody would ever think this of me.
||
|-
| Have you ever tried Yoga? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe in God? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you an adventurous eater? Do you like to try new foods and ethnic cuisines? ||
* Yes, all the time.
* Yes, if it's not too strange.
* On rare occasions/I don't know.
* No, yuck.
||
|-
| Which pubic hair style do you prefer for a partner? ||
* Natural.
* Neatly trimmed.
* Completely shaven.
* It doesn't matter.
||
|-
| If an acquaintance mentioned something negative about a person you just met who otherwise seemed nice, how open would you be to give the person you just met a chance? ||
* Very open.
* Somewhat open, I'd be very cautious.
* There would be no chance for this person.
||
|-
| What is the worst personality trait someone can have? ||
* Arrogance
* Being boring
* Immaturity
* No sense of humor
||
|-
| Most claims of sexual harassment in the workplace are LIES made up by a scorned woman. ||
* True
* False
* I don't know
||
|-
| Imagine you are on a first date and accidentally discover your date is packing condoms. Which would be closest to your reaction? ||
* I'd tease them about it.
* I'd acknowledge it, but politely.
* I'd pretend I didn't see it.
* I'd end the date.
||
|-
| In a relationship, who do you prefer to be taller? ||
* I like to be taller.
* I like my partner to be taller.
* I like us to be about the same height.
* It doesn't matter to me.
||
|-
| Let's say you ask your partner a question and know with certainty that their answer is a lie, what do you do about it? ||
* Ignore it.
* Discreetly probe for more information.
* Call them out and see where it goes.
* Terminate the relationship, effective immediately.
||
|-
| What size party would you prefer to attend? ||
* Just a few close friends.
* 5-20 people.
* 20-100 people.
* More than 100 people.
||
|-
| How long would you have to talk to someone online before you felt comfortable to meet? ||
* I'd meet right away if their profile were cool
* A few days
* A few weeks
* A few months [or never]
||
|-
| Could you date someone who has strong political opinions that are the exact opposite of yours? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of the following types of intelligence do you most value? ||
* Logical / Mathematical
* Social / Interpersonal
* Visual / Spatial / Artistic
||
|-
| Do you enjoy chatting on the phone with your friends? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How does the idea of being slapped hard in the face during sex make you feel? ||
* Horrified
* Aroused
* Nostalgic
* Indifferent
||
|-
| Would you do something outrageous, stupid or adventurous simply because it would make a good story to tell later? (Assume there would be no serious consequences to your actions.) ||
* Yes, whenever possible.
* Yes, but nothing too crazy.
* Maybe, depends on what and who with.
* No, and please don't run with scissors.
||
|-
| Would you consider roleplaying out a rape fantasy with partner who asked you to? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which would you prefer your ideal match to be more into? ||
* Sports
* Books
* Music
* Movies
||
|-
| How often were you picked on by other kids your age when you were growing up? ||
* Very often.
* Sometimes.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| Pick the lowest of the following distances between you and a partner that would satisfy your personal definition of a "long-distance relationship". ||
* 10 miles (16 km).
* 50 miles (80 km).
* 100 miles (160 km).
* 300 miles (480 km) or more.
||
|-
| In a relationship, how important is it for you to be in control? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
||
|-
| Have you ever quit a job without giving at least a week notice? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you had to pick one of the following locations for a first date, which would be most appealing? ||
* An amusement park.
* A restaraunt.
* A bar or lounge.
* A city, state, or national park.
||
|-
| How often do you read before going to sleep? ||
* Always.
* Frequently.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| How much would you enjoy hosting a big, crazy party? ||
* A lot
* Not that much
* Not at all
||
|-
| Imagine you are in a serious long-term relationship and have decided it is best to break it off. Just before you can tell your partner, he or she gives you the following news: "I have been diagnosed with cancer and probably only have one year to live." ||
* I'd still break it off as planned.
* I'd stay with my partner and never mention it.
* I'd reconsider, but eventually discuss it.
||
|-
| If asked, would you share the password to your email account with a significant other? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever been a member of an organization like Girl Scouts, Girl Guides, Boy Scouts, or Campfire? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| You walk out of your home first thing in the morning, late for work and in a serious hurry because you greatly enjoy your job and don't want to lose it. At the same time, a bird with a broken wing is struggling in some bushes nearby. What do you do? ||
* Keep moving - sorry bird, I gotta roll.
* Stop and do what you can to help.
* Kill it - put it out of its misery.
* Keep moving, but feel bad about it.
||
|-
| Who are you more worried about disappointing? ||
* God
* My family or friends
* Myself
* I don't worry about such things
||
|-
| Could you imagine yourself killing someone? ||
* Yes
* [[Death threats|No]]
||
|-
| Roughly how many books have you read in the past year? ||
* Less than five
* Between five and fifteen
* Between sixteen and fifty
* Fifty or more
||
|-
| Do you think most people are lonely? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you enjoy meaningless sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If it were legal to do so where you live, would you smoke marijuana? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When I go out to eat, I go to [[McDonalds|a large chain restaurant]]: ||
* Exclusively
* Sometimes
* Once in a while
* Never
||
|-
| Are you physically strong? ||
* [[I AM STRONG|Yes, very]]
* Average
* No, not really
||
|-
| How important are your political beliefs to you? ||
* Very important
* Somewhat important
* A little important
* Not at all important
||
|-
| Does violence ever solve anything? ||
* Yes, everything
* [[Death threats|No, violence solves nothing]]
* Most of the time
* Almost never, but sometimes
||
|-
| Are you a beer snob? ||
* Yes
* No
* Not usually, but some beers I won't touch.
* I don't drink.
||
|-
| Do you care about other people's suffering? ||
* Yes, solidarity is important
* No, everyone has their own responsibility
* It depends on the kind of suffering
||
|-
| About how long do you want your next relationship to last? ||
* One night
* A few months to a year
* Several years
* The rest of my life
||
|-
| Do you think men who are sitting down should stand up when a woman comes to the table/enters the room? ||
* Yes / Usually
* No / Not usually
||
|-
| How much do you go "clubbing" (out dancing in bars)? ||
* Lots
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who had spent considerable time in a mental health facility? (i.e. mental hospital/institution.) ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Which olfactory strategy would you prefer a partner take when on a date with you? ||
* Perfume / aftershave / cologne.
* Antiperspirant or subtle deodorant only.
* Clean and natural.
* Sweatiness is Godliness.
||
|-
| If someone you barely knew asked you how many people you'd had sex with, would you answer? ||
* [[Honest Content|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Which is the smallest amount of money you would stop to pick up if you saw it laying in the street? ||
* Penny
* Nickel
* Dime
* A quarter or more.
||
|-
| Has anyone ever written you a romantic poem? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you ready to settle down and get married right now? ||
* Absolutely.
* No way.
* Get married yes, settle down no.
* Get married no, settle down yes.
||
|-
| Does it bother you when people say "PIN number" or "ATM machine"? ||
* Yes!
* Well, a little
* Nope, but I see why you're asking
* Why would it?
||
|-
| Do you write down important dates and appointments on a calendar? ||
* Yes
* No
* Occasionally
||
|-
| Do you (or would you) like to go hunting? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? ||
* Always.
* [[Biological clock|Frequently.]]
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| When having sex, do you like to have your hair pulled? ||
* Yes, and hard!
* Yes, but gently.
* No way.
* Don't know / Not sure.
||
|-
| Do you often feel victimized by people you consider friends? ||
* Yes, often.
* Once in a while.
* No, never.
||
|-
| Have you ever seen your bestfriend naked? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you discovered a spider on the wall in your bedroom, which would you do? ||
* Ignore it.
* Kill it.
* Catch it and put it outside.
* Find someone else to deal with it.
||
|-
| Do you usually wear cologne or perfume? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like wild parties? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you rather play Scrabble, go out dancing, or get drunk? ||
* Scrabble
* Dancing
* Booze
||
|-
| Have you ever talked your way out of a traffic ticket? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If a partner asked you to have sex in a sex shop booth with others watching, would you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe.
||
|-
| Would you like to receive pain during sex? ||
* Yes, lots and lots
* Yes, some
* No
||
|-
| If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe a little bit.
||
|-
| Would you terminate a pregnancy if the baby was going to be mentally disabled? ||
* Yes
* No
* It depends on the severity
||
|-
| Should burning your country's flag be illegal? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What do you think about people who watch movies purely for the point of making fun of them? ||
* That's so much fun!
* That sounds pretty lame.
* I don't do it but I suppose it could be fun.
* I hate that. If you don't like it, don't watch it!
||
|-
| Would you consider dating a vegetarian or vegan? ||
* Yes
* No
* Only if they don't push their diet on me
||
|-
| How important is it for you to make physical contact when showing affection for someone? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
||
|-
| Do you believe that it is possible to experience romantic love for more than one person at a time without loving one less because of your love for the other? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| If you were to get married, would you want your partner to change his or her last name to yours? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I would want them to make their own decision.
||
|-
| Would you ever consider a relationship where you would take on an exclusive sexual role as master or slave? ||
* Yes, as the master only.
* Yes, as the slave only.
* Yes, as the master or the slave.
* No.
||
|-
| Would it bother you if a date made gender-biased remarks? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if they were inaccurate.
||
|-
| Would you go out with a smoker? ||
* Yes
* Yes, but only an occasional/social smoker
* No
||
|-
| When it comes to travel, which do you prefer, trains, planes, or automobiles? ||
* Trains.
* Planes.
* Automobiles.
* I don't have a favorite.
||
|-
| Do you bring up STD results/risk factors before you start fooling around? ||
* No, not usually
* Only when I suspect there might be risk involved
* Not always, but I always use condoms/barriers
* Always.
||
|-
| Do you keep a budget (of your finances)? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Which are you MORE of? ||
* Talented
* Hardworking
||
|-
| Do you litter? ||
* Often
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| Would you prefer to drive a car with a manual shift or an automatic transmission? ||
* Manual.
* Automatic.
* It depends on the car or on the situation.
* It makes no difference to me.
||
|-
| If you could have brilliant skill at something, would you prefer: ||
* something practical?
* something fun?
||
|-
| Typically, what kind of fan are you at sporting events? ||
* I sit quietly and enjoy the game.
* I cheer loudly to rally my team and fans.
* I yell obsenities at the other team and fans.
* I'm not a sports fan.
||
|-
| In terms of sex, how experienced would your ideal mate be (with people other than you)? ||
* Innocent (Virgin)
* Slightly Experienced
* Moderately Experienced
* Very Experienced
||
|-
| Have you ever lived outside the country of your citizenship for a single period that exceeds three months? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you be interested in visiting an Intelligent-Design theme park, where dinosaurs and humans are portrayed as having coexisted? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you believe in an afterlife/life after death/resurrection? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| You and a friend take out a board game, and you realize that the pieces are missing. How do you feel about substituting with things like small cookies, toys, coins, etc.? ||
* Let's play!
* As long as they aren't messy / indistinguishable.
* No. We need to recover / purchase the real pieces.
* I wouldn't even be playing board games.
||
|-
| How important is it to be able to 'agree to disagree'? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
||
|-
| Is it possible to love someone you don't even like? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Death is: ||
* A biological phenomenon.
* A spiritual progression.
* Just a fact of life.
* [[Chris and death|We won't know until we die & then still might not.]]
||
|-
| You get married. Five years later, you realize it was a mistake. Discussion and counseling haven't made a difference. You just don't love your partner anymore. He/she still loves you. You decide to: ||
* Keep trying. Marriage means commitment.
* Get a divorce. It'll be better for both of you.
||
|-
| Would you develop a new hobby/cultivate a new interest just to have something in common with your partner? ||
* Sure, it's good to do stuff together
* No, we should maintain our own identities
* Maybe, but only if it seemed cool
||
|-
| Are you better looking than most people? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA)? ||
* No
* No, but sounds interesting.
* Yes
||
|-
| Do you listen to podcasts? ||
* Yes, frequently.
* Yes, once in a while.
* No.
||
|-
| Is it logically inconsistent to support the death penalty but oppose abortion? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you a "regular" at any bar, coffee shop or restaurant? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you ever spit on the ground, in public? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of these most closely matches your definition of "Honesty"? ||
* Telling the complete truth.
* Not telling any lies.
* Not being misleading.
* None of the above are close.
||
|-
| You are offered a choice of free training in Martial Arts or Cooking. Which do you take? ||
* Martial Arts
* Cooking
||
|-
| What is your opinion of sarcasm? ||
* I like it or love it.
* It's okay.
* Sarcasm is formulaic and lame.
||
|-
| Have you ever taken free furniture somebody else left at the side of the road for use in your home? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How spicy do you like your spicy food? ||
* I like it extremely spicy.
* I like it hot.
* I like it a little spicy.
* I prefer it be mild.
||
|-
| Which of the following learning approaches would you prefer? ||
* Doing and figuring it out myself.
* Watching someone else do it.
* Listening to someone explain how it's done.
* Reading about how it should be done.
||
|-
| Imagine that you and your partner cannot agree on the choice of music. If you were driving and your partner a passenger, how should the music be chosen? ||
* I would play the music I like.
* I would allow my partner to choose the music.
* We should take turns choosing the music.
* It would be best to keep the stereo off.
||
|-
| Would being in the same room with a couple of friends who are having sex bother you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Depends
|-
| Should convicted child molesters have to put up signs in their yards saying what they did? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When in a relationship, what importance do you place upon celebrating weekly or monthly anniversaries? ||
* High.
* Moderate.
* Low.
* None.
||
|-
| Do you have a hard time feeling happy when people around you are sad or upset? ||
* Yes
* Sometimes
* No
||
|-
| Choose the better romantic activity: ||
* Kissing in Paris
* Kissing in a tent, in the woods
||
|-
| Do you enjoy Rap/Hip-Hop? ||
* [[Category:Yo! CWC Raps|Yes]]
* No
* Some
||
|-
| Are you more horny or more lonely? ||
* Horny
* [[Love Quest|Lonely]]
||
|-
| When riding a bicycle, do you wear a helmet? ||
* Yes, all the time
* Yes, some of the time
* Rarely or never
* I don't ride bicycles
||
|-
| Do you enjoy gardening? ||
* Yes.
* [[Chores|No.]]
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| If a partner would not respond to your emotional needs unless you made them known verbally, would you have a problem with this? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you often find yourself worrying about things that you have no control over? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who is already involved in an open or polyamorous relationship? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you rather live in the big city or a small town? ||
* Big city
* Small town
||
|-
| Can you name your two closest neighbours? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you likely to make long, friendly conversation with strangers? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have a favorite sports team that you really like to follow? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which would you rather be? ||
* Normal
* Weird
||
|-
| Do you find glasses on the opposite sex attractive? ||
* Yes
* No
* No Preference
||
|-
| Which would you rather master? ||
* art
* science
||
|-
| The fastest way to piss me off is to... ||
* disagree with a strong opinion of mine
* ignore me
* interrupt me
* indicate you dislike my friends
||
|-
| Do you own a record player? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you enjoy finding out what makes things work the way they do? ||
* I'm an information sponge
* Sometimes
* As long as it works, who cares why?
||
|-
| Which of the following types of video games do you like most? ||
* Role playing or strategy games.
* Sports or action games.
* Card or puzzle games.
* I dislike all of the above video game types.
||
Action games to be more specific; sports games vary to me (motion control on Playstation or Wii are good).
|-
| Would you date someone you weren't crazy about if they took you on cool dates? ||
* Yes
* No
||
But I would be honest of lack of interest, or give a chance for better decision (obese doesn't count).
|-
| Do you put more weight in science or faith? ||
* Science
* Faith
* Equally in both
||
|-
| Is there a such thing as having had too many sex partners? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever written short fiction, other than for school assignments? ||
* No.
* I've tried, but never finished a story.
* I've finished at least one short story.
* I've written many short stories.
||
|-
| Do you iron your own clothes? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Regardless of where you grew up or now live, which of the following best describes the way you see yourself at heart? ||
* I am an urban or city person.
* I am a suburbanite.
* I am small town or country person.
||
|-
| If you were dating somebody that you met online, would you be reluctant to tell your friends? ||
* Yes, I would be reluctant.
* No, not at all.
* A little, but I would be honest with them.
||
I would not tell ANYONE else ON THE INTERNET OR ONLINE (Damn Trolls and Bullies; the Rage Comics Troll Face offends me very much).
|-
| Do you like to burn incense in your home? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I've never burnt incense in my home before.
||
|-
| Do you feel that you're usually at least one step ahead of most people you talk to? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you feel like you're still hurting from something that happened to you a long time ago? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever recited a poem that you did not write to someone as a means of expressing your mood or feelings? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is exposure to sexuality damaging to the minds of children? ||
* [[Chris and Censorship|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Would you date someone who was currently in a relationship, knowing that you would "be a secret?" ||
* Sure, why not?
* Depends on the person.
* Absolutely NOT.
||
|-
| When you hear the name Dylan what is the first to come to mind? ||
* Bob Dylan
* Dylan Thomas
* 90210
* Something or someone else / Nothing
||
|-
| Do you write poetry? ||
* [[Chris and writing#Chris as a poet and lyricist|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| What would you do if one of your favorite shirts lost a button? ||
* Have the button replaced.
* Wear the shirt without the button.
* Trash the shirt.
* Give the shirt to those less fortunate.
||
|-
| When you are angry or frustrated, do you ever throw, smash, kick, hit inanimate objects (non-living things)? ||
* Yes, frequently
* [[Chris and anger#Examples of Chris's anger|Sometimes]]
* Used to, but not any more
* Never
||
|-
| Should prostitution be legal? ||
* [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|Yes, absolutely]]
* Yes, only if it were regulated
* I don't think so
* ABSOLUTELY NOT
||
Desperate times call for desperate measures; I feel pity for those that are so poor that they have to.
|-
| Do you believe in ghosts? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How do you feel about genetically modified foods? ||
* Fully approve
* Hesitant / more controls needed
* Opposed
* No opinion/ don't know
||
|-
| Should speech be... ||
* Completely free
* [[Chris and Censorship|Have some censorship]]
* Be very censored
* Only say what the dictator wants!
||
The exception being hate campaigns fabricated by Internet Trolls, Cyber-Bullies and corrupted police people (a.k.a. [[Jerkops]]).
|-
| How important to you is a potential match's sense of humor? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
||
|-
| Are some human lives worth more than others? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| On a global scale, which do you believe provides the greater hindrance to world peace and unity? ||
* Economics.
* Religion.
||
|-
| Which type of wine would you prefer to drink outside of a meal, such as for leisure? ||
* White (such as Chardonnay, Riesling).
* Red (such as Merlot, Cabernet, Shiraz).
* Rosé (such as White Zinfindel).
* I don't drink wine.
||
|-
| Would you consider having an open relationship (i.e., one where you can see other people)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Only if we needed a break from each other for a while.
|-
| If after years of being with a partner, you found out that they could not have children and would not be willing to adopt, would you want to stay with them? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Do you believe that some people can see a person's soul, just by staring into their eyes for a few moments? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Anything is possible.
|-
| Do you think that wealthy nations have a responsibility to assist developing nations? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If someone asked you, "What's the worst thing you've ever done?" would you know the answer right away? ||
* [[Chris and remorse|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| When birds stand on power lines and don't get hurt, it's most likely because of: ||
* Good timing; they only land between calls
* Body materials that are insulated from current
* Not touching anything else at the same time
* They do get hurt; they just express it poorly
||
|-
| Are you really into Anime (Japanese Animation) movies? ||
* [[Anime|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| What portion of your friends are citizens of a country other than your own? ||
* All or most.
* Many.
* One, two or a few.
* None.
||
|-
| How good is your singing voice? ||
* Really awesome, actually
* [[Chris and music|Very good]]
* Okay
* Crappy
||
|-
| Do you believe that the global flood (Noah's ark) actually happened? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Could you date someone who already has children from a previous relationship? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which word describes you better? ||
* Carefree
* Intense
||
|-
| Do you like hickies? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you allow your partner to kiss you after performing oral sex on you? ||
* Allow? I enjoy it.
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends.
||
|-
| Imagine you have a significant other who reveals they have a video of a sexual encounter from a prior relationship and offers to show it to you. Would you want to see it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which do you prefer? ||
* Shower
* Bath
* It depends / Don't make me choose!
||
|-
| When sick, do you prefer the company of others or to be left alone? ||
* I prefer company.
* I prefer to be left alone.
||
|-
| Someone offers to give you $100 if you *don't* vote in the next national election. (for example, the US President) Do you take the money? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Could you date a person who had a large imperfection (ex: mole, birthmark, etc.)? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| How often do you [[Mass debating|masturbate]]? ||
* Once a day or more
* A few times a week
* A few times a month
* A few times a year or less
||
|-
| How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person? ||
* Totally willing!
* Hesitant, but I'd certainly consider it.
* I'm not interested in meeting in person.
||
Must meet ASAP or Immediately
|-
| It's your first date with someone you recently met. At the end she/he says "I think I love you." ||
* Scary
* Sweet
||
|-
| Have you ever yelled at the TV while watching sports? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you store any of your physical possessions alphabetically? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you get upset if your girlfriend/boyfriend flirted in front of you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever fired a real gun? For this question, [[Megatron pistol|pellet/BB/Nerf/paintball weapons]] do not qualify. If so, which most closely describes the deadliest type you have fired? ||
* No.
* Rifle / carbine / pistol / shotgun.
* Machine gun / fully automatic / assault weapon.
* Tank gun / naval gun / anti-tank / other cannon.
||
|-
| Would you consider having a serious relationship with an active porn star? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color / racial background? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Could you marry someone for a reason other than love (e.g. money, citizenship, sex, fame)? ||
* Yes
* No
* Not sure / maybe
||
|-
| Could you have respect for someone after having sex with them on the first meeting/date? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe, depending upon the circumstances.
||
|-
| Does your partner have to be an active reader? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Breast implants? ||
* more cool than pathetic
* more pathetic than cool
||
It's their body. [''After Chris came out as transgender, he edited this answer to add:''] And I want to increase mine to a C-Cup anyway.
|-
| How often do you [[Twitter|tweet]]? ||
* All the time
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who is in the process of getting divorced? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you were really, really drunk, which of the following would you be more likely to do? ||
* Kiss someone.
* Hit someone.
* Complain to someone.
* I'm not sure / I've never been really drunk.
||
|-
| Have you ever tracked someone down just to apologize for something that you did years before? ||
* [[Chris and remorse|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| "Your a bitch!" ||
* The profanity
* The grammar
* They both bother me equally
* Neither one bothers me
||
|-
| Consciousness is... ||
* Biological - Brain, senses.
* Spiritual - Soul, heart, spirit.
* A good topic for debate; my answer is too long.
* A big, scary word.
||
|-
| Do people tend to turn to you for answers pertaining to subjects you know little about? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If your own toothbrush was not available, would you feel comfortable using a partner's toothbrush? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends on which partner.
||
|-
| How long do your romantic relationships usually last? ||
* 0-6 months
* 6-12 months
* 12+ months
* I've never been in a relationship
||
I am not sure.
|-
| Do you have a photographic memory? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you use the word "ain't" in everyday conversation? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you find that arguing with your significant other is arousing to you? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Which of these is wrong? ||
* The cat's out of the bag.
* The cat's feet are out of the bag.
* All the cat's are out of the bag.
* [[Honor Roll|None of them! They're all correct!]]
||
|-
| A friend has become homeless. Would you let them stay with you until they are back on their feet? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| If you dislike your food in a restaurant, do you typically send it back? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you were in a coma with little chance of recovery what would you like your significant other to do? ||
* Pull the plug immediately, I don't want to linger
* Pull the plug after 2-4 months, gives them time
* Don't pull the plug at all, a chance is a chance.
* I'm not sure . . .
||
|-
| Which would you rather choose: peace on Earth or loads of money? ||
* Peace on Earth
* Loads of money
||
Total peace around earth is impossible.
|-
| When it comes to music, do you have a strong preference for male or female vocals? ||
* Yes - male vocals.
* Yes - female vocals.
* No, not really.
* I prefer instrumental or non-vocal-driven music.
||
|-
| Do you own any sexy underwear? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Of these four educational subject areas, which is your favorite? ||
* Language
* Mathematics
* Science
* History
||
|-
| Straight women who kiss or fondle each other in clubs in the hopes of attracting men are... ||
* Incredibly hot!
* Just having some girlish fun.
* Profoundly annoying.
||
|-
| Does it bother you when people are late? ||
* Yes, always.
* No, never.
* Sometimes, it depends upon the circumstances.
||
|-
| Can you run a mile without stopping? ||
* Yes
* [[Sonichu's Edge|No]]
* Yes - And More
||
|-
| Do you prefer to pursue a potential partner, or for them to pursue you? ||
* I'd rather pursue.
* I'd rather be pursued.
* I prefer a little of both.
||
|-
| Which do you own more of? ||
* Books.
* Movies.
* Music.
* [[Video games|Games.]]
||
|-
| Do you have a strong sense of self? ||
* Yes, I am quite certain of who I am.
* No, I'm still searching for my identity.
* I'm on the verge of finding myself.
* No, I have no clue who I am, I'm an empty shell.
||
|-
| Would you consider dating a law enforcement officer? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
I F***ING LOATHE THE DAMN JERKOPS!!!!!!!
|-
| Ivan P Pavlov (1849-1936) won a Nobel Prize for his work in ||
* Psychology - Classical Conditioning
* Physiology - Digestion
* Pavlov never won a Nobel Prize
* I don't know / I've never heard of him
||
|-
| Do you think you have ESP at all? ||
* Yes
* No
||
A little at least
|-
| Do you consider astrology to be a legitimate science? ||
* [[Naive|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who is allergic to animal fur (e.g. cat, dog)? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Would you be friends with, or date, a nudist? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
* Only if they were attractive
||
|-
| What's your deal with harder drugs (stuff beyond pot)? ||
* I do drugs regularly.
* I do drugs occasionally.
* I've done drugs in the past, but no longer.
* I never do drugs.
||
|-
| Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Would we feel comfortable that way in the longer run?
|-
| Who is worse? A person in a committed relationship who cheats on their partner or a single person who leads someone in a relationship to cheat? ||
* The person who cheats on their partner.
* [[Vanessa Saga|The single person who leads someone to cheat.]]
* They are equally bad.
* Neither is bad.
||
|-
| Which is bigger? ||
* The earth
* The sun
||
|-
| Assume you have a [[Homos|homosexual]] friend who is the same gender as you. Would it bother you if they hugged you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if I thought the hug was more than friendly.
||
|-
| How much influence or control do your parents have over your life? ||
* I am my own person.
* I consider their opinion but go my own way.
* I almost always do what my parents think is best.
* I always do what my parents say.
||
|-
| How much do other people's opinions of you influence your decisions? ||
* A lot
* Some
* Very little
* Not at all
||
|-
| Have you ever been to prison? ||
* [[28 October 2011|Yes]]
* No
* Just to visit / I was working
||
Wrongfully; I was found innocent, but the one overnight in the cell was emotionally scarring. The charge was minor and was dropped.
|-
| Do you ever not feel like having sex because you feel too unattractive or too unappealing? ||
* Yes, frequently.
* Yes, sometimes.
* Yes, but only rarely.
* No, never.
||
|-
| Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If your partner were to provide you with a meal, which would you appreciate more? ||
* My partner cooking my favorite meal.
* My partner taking me to my favorite restaurant.
* Neither - I would appreciate both equally.
||
|-
| Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Can you cook? ||
* Yes, I'm a culinary genius.
* Yes, with a cook book.
* No, but I try.
* No, there's always fast food.
||
|-
| As long as you both agreed that nobody else would ever see the video, would you let a partner film the two of you having sex? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe, depending upon the partner.
||
|-
| Have you ever written something on the wall of a public toilet? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that you have to move somewhere far away. You'll need to pack all of your stuff and take it with you. All your things could fit nicely inside... ||
* a couple of suitcases.
* a car.
* a big moving truck.
* the Black Sea.
||
|-
| Have you ever "regifted" a gift you didn't like? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who has cold-sores (oral herpes)? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you a collector of things? ||
* Yes, I have many collections.
* Yes, I have some collections.
* Yes, I have one collection.
* No, I do not collect anything.
||
|-
| How much do you like to be tickled during sex? ||
* Tickle me until I cry. It really turns me on.
* I like being tickled during sex.
* I do not like being tickled during sex.
* I don't like to be tickled, ever.
||
|-
| Do you prefer hardcore or softcore when it comes to your porn? ||
* Hard!
* Soft!
* Both!
* I don't like porn
||
|-
| If a trusted partner asked you to submit to them sexually, would you? Assume that this would involve letting them collar you, command you, and have control over you during sex. ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you need "alone time" to re-charge after social situations? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Your significant other has a hobby that you find boring. They're busy doing whatever it is they like to do, and you're bored. What do you do? ||
* Go do something I like, alone
* Sit and watch to figure out why they like it.
* Sit and watch, resentful.
* Bug them for attention.
||
|-
| Are you more concerned about possibility of being killed as a result of a terrorist attack or a traffic accident? ||
* Terrorist attack.
* Traffic accident.
* Neither concerns me at all.
||
|-
| Could you fall in love with someone you have only talked to online? ||
* Yes.
* [[Sagas#List of Sagas|No.]]
||
|-
| Could you date someone who needs a great deal of alone time? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you attended a drag queen/king show? ||
* Yes, as a participant.
* Yes, in the audience.
* No, but I'd like to.
* No, and I don't plan to.
||
|-
| What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? ||
* I would be there every day of the week if I could.
* They can be fun every once and a while.
* I do not really have an opinion/never been to one.
* They're gross/disgusting/insulting/other.
||
|-
| How long does it usually take for you to decide whether or not you like a new acquaintance? ||
* I decide immediately on sight.
* It takes a few minutes of conversation.
* It takes a few hours of hanging out.
* It takes multiple social experiences with them.
||
|-
| If your spouse asked you to get a small discreet matching tattoo with them, would you? ||
* Yes, Most Likely
* Maybe, I would think about it
* No, what if we divorced?
* No, I disagree with tatoos
||
|-
| How does the thought of someone masturbating with you in mind make you feel? ||
* Shocked
* Disgusted
* Flattered
* Aroused
||
As long as the other person was female.
|-
| Do you like to go to museums? ||
* Yes, a lot
* Yes, a little
* No
||
|-
| How would you react if your lover [[Mumble 8|called you by the name of their ex]]? ||
* I'd get mad and/or dump him/her.
* I'd pretend I didn't hear.
* I'd laugh about it/wouldn't really care.
* I'd talk to him/her about it.
||
|-
| Do you like going to poetry readings? ||
* Yes
* Sometimes
* Occasionally / I'd try it
* No
||
|-
| How important are [[Honor Roll|academic achievements]] to you? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
||
|-
| Other things being equal, would you prefer a job that requires you to be mostly on your feet or mostly sitting down? ||
* Mostly on my feet.
* Mostly sitting down.
||
|-
| How messy are you? ||
* I'm very messy
* I'm average
* I'm mostly organized
* I'm compulsively neat
||
|-
| Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? ||
* Yes, no matter what
* Yes, unless otherwise specified
* No, it's not necessary
* No, I'd prefer not to communicate daily
||
|-
| Do you like coffee? ||
* Yes. I need it to function.
* Yes, but I can do without it.
* No.
||
|-
| You wake up 20 minutes before your alarm is scheduled to go off. What do you do? ||
* Get up
* Go back to sleep till the alarm goes off
||
|-
| Which would you rather win? ||
* A Nobel Prize
* A Grammy, Oscar, Tony, or Emmy
* A Super Bowl, World Series, or sports championship
* The Lottery
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who is anonymously rude to people online? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you were in your last moments of life after a traffic accident, and someone from another faith was holding your hand attempting to comfort you in your last moments, what would your thoughts be about that? ||
* I would take comfort.
* I would be offended.
* I would be indifferent.
* Other thoughts would take precedence.
||
|-
| Do you think the government has the right to regulate the ownership and use of weapons? ||
* Yes
* Only in extreme cases
* No
* I'm not sure
||
|-
| Do you talk to and or have conversations with yourself, either outloud or in your head? ||
* Yes, outloud
* Yes, in my head
* Yes, both
* No, neither
||
|-
| How important is it to you that your partner smell good? ||
* Very damn important
* Important-ish
* Less important than you think
* I just don't care at all
||
|-
| If your partner wanted you to say a specific phrase during sex, would you? ||
* Yes, I'd say anything they want me to.
* No, I wouldn't.
* Maybe, it would depend upon the phrase.
||
|-
| Do you have a dark and morbid sense of humor? ||
* Yes
* No
* Occasionally
||
|-
| Regardless of future plans, what's more interesting to you right now? ||
* Sex
* Love
||
|-
| Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How do you think your sex drive compares to what is typical for other people of your age and gender? ||
* My sex drive is higher than average.
* My sex drive is about average.
* My sex drive is below average.
* I'm insatiable.
||
|-
| How many pillows do you sleep with at night? ||
* None.
* One.
* Two.
* Three or more.
||
|-
| Let's say you are in line at a grocery store and have many items. The person behind you just has only one or two. Do you offer to let them go ahead of you? ||
* Yes. Always.
* Yes, unless I am otherwise in a hurry.
* No. Never.
||
|-
| When a dog licks your face, what is your reaction? ||
* Ugh. Nasty.
* Awww..how cute!
* I'm Not Sure / Don't care
||
|-
| How often do you keep your promises? ||
* Always
* Whenever possible
* Usually
* When convenient
||
|-
| How often do you send greeting cards for holidays and birthdays? ||
* Always
* Sometimes
* Never
||
|-
| How often do you use [[Facebook|Facebook]]? ||
* I'm a very active user.
* I'm a somewhat active user.
* I rarely use it.
* I never use it.
||
|-
| Do you like cats? Would you consider owning a cat as a pet? ||
* [[Chandler Cats|Yes, I would love (or do own) a cat.]]
* I'm not too into them, but I wouldn't mind one.
* No, I dislike cats.
* I like them, but I'm allergic.
||
|-
| How much do you trust the news media? ||
* I believe almost everything.
* I trust some sources more than others.
* I think most sources have a hidden agenda.
* It's all propaganda.
||
|-
| Is it wrong to cultivate or manufacture illegal drugs? ||
* Yes, always
* No, never
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Do you now live in the same city or town as the one which you resided primarily in between the ages of eleven and eighteen? ||
* Yes, I live in that same city now.
* No, I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|a completely different place.]]
* No, but I live in a nearby city (< 1hr by ground),
||
|-
| Which typically comes first for you? ||
* [[Monthly tugboat|Work]]
* Play
||
|-
| Do you enjoy dark, violent, or disturbing music? ||
* Yes
* No
* [[Hello, Juffalo|When I'm in the mood.]]
* Unsure
||
|-
| Do you have a desire (even if it's secret) to take part in sexual activities involving bondage? ||
* Yes
* No
* Absolutely not.
||
|-
| Do you use hand sanitizer? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Looking toward the future, which of the following do you see as most important for you in ten years? ||
* Being in a good relationship.
* Having a good job.
* Being wealthy.
* Being healthy.
||
|-
| How often do you 'take it out' on other people when you're having a bad day? ||
* Always.
* Frequently.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
|-
| How important to you is being with family during holidays? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
* I have no family.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to date someone who plays video games almost every day, for at least 2 hours? ||
* Yes, I'd be playing with them.
* Yes, but I would not play that much.
* Yes, but I don't like video games.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever felt so strongly about a social issue or cause that you have participated in a public demonstration? ||
* Yes
* No
* Politics bore me
||
|-
| Would you be pleased if a partner expressed the desire to be sexually humiliated by you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which, on you, is closest to perfection? ||
* [[Slow-in-the-minds|Your mind]]
* [[Obesity|Your body]]
* [[Chris and money|Your wallet]]
* Your soul
||
|-
| Do you get angry when you lose a game? ||
* Usually
* Sometimes
* Never
||
|-
| How do you feel about women openly displaying tattoos? ||
* I Like It
* I Don't Mind
* I Dislike It
||
|-
| To you, which adjective best describes hopeless, unrequited love? ||
* Romantic
* Foolish
* Creepy
||
|-
| Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose? ||
* Perform the male surgery.
* Perform the female surgery.
* Perform the surgery, selecting randomly.
* Do not perform the surgery.
||
[[Hermaphrodite|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).]]
|-
| When it comes to right and wrong, which of the following do you think has the greatest impact on your belief system? ||
* Religion.
* Family and/or friends.
* Laws.
* Self interest.
||
|-
| Do you think you have what it takes to be a successful actor or actress? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which of these options most closely describes what you're looking for in your next relationship? ||
* Someone to come home to
* Someone to go out with
* Someone for tonight
||
|-
| If you asked for time off of work to see your favorite band and it wasn't granted, would you skip work to see the show anyway? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When you're around new people, are you more of a leader, or are you more cooperative? ||
* More of a leader
* More cooperative
||
|-
| How much do you spend per year for shoes? ||
* Less than $100
* $101 - $ 500
* $501- $1000
* More than a $1000
||
|-
| If you were visiting a new city, where would you be most excited to go? ||
* Tourist attractions or entertainment venues.
* Historically or culturally important places.
* Places popular with the locals.
* Home.
||
|-
| What is the first definition for the word "composition" that comes to mind? ||
* The makeup of a mixture of ingredients
* A piece of music
* A piece of writing
* An arrangement of visual elements
||
|-
| How open are you to trying new things in bed? ||
* Very open. I'll try anything once.
* I'm open, but I don't get too crazy.
* Hesitant, but it might happen.
* Not at all.
||
|-
| Would you stay in a relationship if your significant other told you, "I no longer feel that deep love I once felt for you, but I'm willing to stay together until I work through this"? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| I prefer to sleep… ||
* Alone
* With my partner, but apart (not touching)
* Touching my partner
* Embracing / cuddling my partner
||
|-
| You're in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? ||
* Yes, and it makes me uncomfortable.
* I guess, but It doesn't change how I feel.
* That seems like an average number.
* No, that's nothing.
||
|-
| Were you in love with the first person you ever slept with? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm a virgin
||
|-
| How many times do you usually hit the snooze button on your alarm clock? ||
* Zero. I get up immediately when the alarm sounds.
* One or two times.
* Three or more times.
* I do not usually use an alarm clock to wake up.
||
|-
| If you could triple your money by investing in a company whose business practices you disapproved of, would you invest? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever gotten back with someone who cheated on you? ||
* Yes, people can change.
* Yes, but I'll NEVER do it again!
* No way.
* Never been in that situation.
||
|-
| How frequently do you go out of your way to make others feel appreciated? ||
* Way more than average
* About average
* Less than average / Never
||
|-
| Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? ||
* Open.
* Closed.
* It depends.
||
|-
| Is text messaging an acceptable way to ask someone out on a date? ||
* Yes, it's a great way.
* Yes, but it's pretty lame.
* No.
||
|-
| Do people tend to take you seriously, or usually think you're being sarcastic? ||
* Serious
* Sarcastic
||
Not sure
|-
| Might you be annoyed if someone asked you to repeat yourself? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends...
||
|-
| In terms of relationships, which of these is it the most important to find? ||
* Someone for whom you would do anything.
* Someone who turns you on.
* Someone you feel like you've known forever.
* Someone with goals similar to yours.
||
Anything I am able to.
|-
| Generally, do you enjoy being drunk? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don't know, because I've never been drunk.
||
|-
| What kind of rides do you like at amusement parks? ||
* The biggest or most thrilling ones.
* The more laid back, smaller, or classic rides.
* I like them all, big and small.
* I wouldn't bother to do the rides.
||
|-
| In terms of height, how do you compare to others of your sex? ||
* I am taller.
* I am shorter.
* I am about average.
||
|-
| Your significant other is perfectly content with their minimum wage job and has no plans to look for more challenging/better paying work. Is this a problem? ||
* Yes, I wouldn't be able to tolerate that.
* Somewhat, but it's their life.
* No, I don't mind.
||
|-
| Do you believe that men should be the heads of their households? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How important is voting to you? ||
* Extremely important
* Very important
* Not so important
* Not at all important
||
|-
| Which of the following best describes your typical demeanor? ||
* Cheerful! I have a positive outlook.
* Meh. I have my ups and downs.
* Annoyed. The world sucks.
||
|-
| Have you ever taken a break while at work to "play" with yourself ? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Other things being equal, would you be more attracted to an artist or a scientist? ||
* Artist
* Scientist
||
|-
| Do you like to interpret your own dreams? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you a cat person or a dog person? ||
* Cats
* Dogs
* Both
* Neither
||
|-
| Do you like to be the center of attention? ||
* Yes, always
* [[Chris and ego|Yes, sometimes]]
* Not really, no
||
|-
| How are you most likely to show your partner you care? ||
* Words: Tell them how much you appreciate them
* Actions: Do something nice (like a date or errand)
* Gifts: Buy them flowers, jewelery or a new gadget
* Touch: Give them a hug, massage or kiss
||
|-
| Would you say you have... ||
* A green thumb
* A black thumb
* A modicum of success with vegetation
* Absolutely no interest in plants
||
|-
| Would you ever date or mess around with a good friend's ex? ||
* Yes, why not?
* No
* Yes, but only with my friend's permission
||
|-
| The person you are dating has a different faith or religion than you. They ask you to go with them to a religious function. Do you go? ||
* Yes
* No
* It depends on what kind of function it is
* It depends on what religion it is
||
|-
| How long do you believe people need to be in a relationship before before getting married? ||
* At least 2 years
* At least 1 year
* At least 6 months
* Less than 6 months / no requirement
||
|-
| Have you ever brought a stray animal home? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How often do you read your horoscope? ||
* Daily.
* Weekly.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
|-
| Do you blush easily? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If all of the professional sports leagues in the world ceased to exist, would you be upset? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you had to choose between spending a weekend hiking and camping or going to Broadway shows with the same friends, which would you choose? ||
* Camping.
* Broadway.
* I would be happy with either.
* I would rather stay home.
||
|-
| Do you believe in an energy field that surrounds us that we can manipulate through reiki, acupuncture, chakra balancing, yoga, or some other system? ||
* Yes, and I practice one/some of these.
* Yes, but I don't practice any of these.
* No, but I do practice one/some of these.
* No, and I would never practice any of these.
||
|-
| Imagine that your partner does not enjoy performing oral sex and refuses to ever perform it on you. How disappointed would you be? ||
* Extremely disappointed.
* Somewhat disappointed.
* Slightly disappointed.
* Not at all disappointed.
||
|-
| Would you radically alter your appearance (hair, clothes, body modifications) for your significant other? ||
* Yes
* No way!
* I'm not sure, it depends...
||
|-
| Imagine you are walking down the street at night and hear a cry for help. Which would you do? ||
* Call the police.
* Investigate.
* Call the police and investigate.
* Ignore it.
||
|-
| You see a harmless insect in your living space. It can't bite or make any annoying buzzing or chirping sounds. What do you do? ||
* Kill it quickly.
* Kill it slowly.
* Gently catch it and release it outside.
* Leave it alone.
||
|-
| Communism, in concept: ||
* Good
* Bad
* Same as capitalism
* No idea / this question doesn't interest me
||
|-
| Are you an Atheist? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is satanism acceptable? ||
* Sure
* Yes, it seems a bit immature though.
* No, it is wrong.
* I don't know/care.
||
|-
| Would it be easier for you to make a list of things you want in a relationship or a list of things you want to avoid in a relationship? ||
* Things I want.
* Things I want to avoid.
||
|-
| Anyone can be financially successful, if only they're willing to try. ||
* True
* False
||
|-
| If you were offered $5,000,000,000 US dollars to participate right now in a single round of Russian Roulette (1 in 6 chance of immediate death), would you play? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How often do you make up and sing ditties? ||
* Regularly.
* [[Category:Music Videos|Sometimes.]]
* Never.
||
|-
| Could you date someone with no long-term goals? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which do you like more? Be honest. ||
* Giving massages
* Receiving massages
||
|-
| Do you believe in miracles? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If political candidates supported marijuana legalization, how would that affect your disposition toward voting for them? ||
* I would be more likely to vote for them.
* I would be less likely to vote for them.
* This would not influence my vote.
||
|-
| How long can you go without sexual release? ||
* A day or less.
* More than a day, less than a week.
* More than a week.
* I have never had sexual release.
||
|-
| Do you take pills when you have a headache? ||
* Yes
* No
||
An aspirin
|-
| If you were offered the opportunity to eat human meat prepared any way you like, would you at least try it? ||
* Yes
* No
* Only as a last resort for survival
||
|-
| Do you keep your sexual exploits private? ||
* Yes, always.
* No, I am an open book.
* Sometimes.
||
|-
| Do you ever want to punch people you don't know, right in the face, for superficial reasons (the way they grin, their clothes, their voice, etc.)? ||
* Every day
* It happens, but not often
* Never
||
|-
| If your partner wanted to pay for you, as a couple, to see a professional dominatrix would you go? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Someone in an open relationship asks you out on a date. You: ||
* Refuse / Aren't interested in open relationships.
* Are hesitant, but would consider it.
* Accept / Are open to non-monogamous relationships.
||
|-
| Say you've started seeing someone you really like. As far as you're concerned, how long will it take before you have sex? ||
* 1-2 dates
* 3-5 dates
* 6 or more dates
* Only after the wedding
||
I would let soonest sex be up to her, but don't keep me waiting too long.
|-
| It's Friday night, 7 PM, and you have no plans for the evening. Which of these are you most likely to do? ||
* Stay at home and read a book.
* Watch some TV, or go see a movie alone.
* Go to a club or bar, and maybe meet someone new.
* Call some friends, and find SOMEONE to hang with.
||
|-
| Do you drink milk and juice straight out of the carton and then put it back in the fridge? ||
* Yes, I drink it straight from the carton.
* Sometimes--if no one else around to see.
* Yes. Only because I don't live with anyone else.
* Ewww. No, that's gross. I pour it first.
||
|-
| Would you prefer good things happened, or interesting things? ||
* Good
* Interesting
||
|-
| What do you think of the game of Rugby? ||
* A game for savage barbarians
* Cool, but not for me..
* Can't get enough of it!
* I don't know anything about it/I don't care
||
|-
| Which of these is likely to make you more nervous? ||
* A promising first date
* An important interview
||
|-
| If you had to pick one of the following types of people for a significant other, which would it be? ||
* Wholesome
* A little on the slutty side
* Crazy and colorful
* Dark and mysterious
||
|-
| Would you walk up to a stranger and tell them you think they're beautiful? ||
* Yes / probably
* No / probably not
||
|-
| Have you ever cybered (had cybersex)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When using a computer, at a desk, do you: ||
* Sit painfully erect
* Have good posture
* Slouch a bit
* Slump on the desk
||
|-
| If a significant other decided s/he wanted to have or adopt six children with you, would this be okay? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Possibly, depending on the situation.
||
|-
| Do you recycle? ||
* Almost always
* Sometimes
* Rarely or not at all
||
|-
| How important is money/wealth for you in a match? ||
* Very important
* Somewhat important
* Not important at all
||
I am just getting by.
|-
| Love conquers all. ||
* True.
* False.
||
|-
| Your significant other wants to go to a strip club with a few friends. What are your thoughts on this? ||
* I'm completely against it.
* I don't like it, but doesn't bother me that much.
* No, I'm not against it at all / I'd go with them.
* I would be upset, but I'd let them go.
||
|-
| How often do you get angry? ||
* Very often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
||
|-
| Your significant other wants to move every few years, to experience different parts of the country or world. What's your take on that? ||
* My bags are packed, let's go.
* Eh, as long as it's not too often I guess it's ok.
* As long as we're not leaving the country.
* I'd prefer to stay put.
||
|-
| Do you ever feel the need to get really drunk? ||
* Often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| How many romantic partners have you lived with? ||
* None.
* One.
* Two or three.
* Four or more.
||
|-
| Do you think that a fourteen year old who commits a violent crime should be tried and punished as an adult? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Imagine you're at an art gallery and you see a canvas painted solid red. It is selling for more money than you make in a year. Which of the following would be closest to your reaction? ||
* I'd like to know more about its meaning.
* The price is outrageous.
* I could have painted that myself.
* It's really pleasing to look at.
||
|-
| Do you feel comfortable being touched by someone you just met? ||
* Yes
* No
* Not sure / maybe
||
|-
| Are people who believe in the paranormal (IE: Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, ESP, etc.) all crazy or suffering from some sort of mental disorder/delusion? ||
* Yes, and they all need mental help, now.
* Yes, but I couldn't care less.
* No, but I personally don't believe
* No, I'm a very big believer in the paranormal.
||
|-
| Would you consider digging up the grave of a loved one to recover a priceless item that was accidentally buried with them? ||
* Yes, I wouldn't hesitate, even if it were illegal.
* Yes, but only if it could be done legally.
* No, absolutely not.
||
|-
| Are you attracted to dangerous situations? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Depends.
|-
| How important is religion/God in your life? ||
* Extremely important
* Somewhat important
* Not very important
* Not at all important
||
|-
| How many live plants do you have in your home? ||
* None.
* One or two.
* Three to nine.
* Ten or more.
||
|-
| Do you check to be certain all of the entry doors at your residence are locked before going to sleep? ||
* Always.
* Never.
* Sometimes.
||
|-
| Would you, or did you, go to [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|your 10-year high school reunion]]? ||
* Yes
* No, but I wanted to
* No
||
It did not happen (F***ing, D***ed [[Facebook|Facebook]], Ruining Socializing and making Reunions considered outdated and obsolete). ]:(
|-
| Which would do more to improve the world? ||
* Fewer stupid people
* Fewer ugly people
* This question upsets me
||
|-
| Could you date someone who was really messy? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you made special efforts to keep any favorite toys from your childhood? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever read Shakespeare, other than for a class? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you hit the snooze button more than once on a typical morning? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe in some kind of a spiritual, cosmic force outside the realm of most modern religion? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you see a pattern in the type of people you usually end up in relationships with? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When looking at a prospective match's profile, which of these do you pay the most attention to? ||
* Their favorite books.
* Their favorite movies.
* Their favorite music.
* Their favorite food.
||
|-
| Have you performed any charity work in the last year? (We mean labor, not donating money) ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If some men are doctors and some doctors are tall, does it follow that some men are tall? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Can you write a web site in HTML (without using site building software)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you a highly skilled writer? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is it okay for men to wear makeup? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Think of when you were a little kid and choose the most appropriate answer. ||
* I got in trouble all the time.
* I never got in trouble.
* I never got in trouble because I never got caught.
||
|-
| Do you believe morality is universal, or relative? ||
* Universal
* Relative
||
|-
| Do you subscribe to/believe in the philosophies of Ayn Rand? ||
* Yes
* Absolutely not
* I don't care about her philosophies
* I don't know what you're talking about
||
|-
| What degree of profanity do you prefer to see when you watch a comedian? ||
* The more profane, the better.
* Some profanity is ok as long as it isn't extreme.
* I prefer clean acts.
* It makes no difference so long as it is funny.
||
|-
| Is it ever acceptable to have a sexual relationship with someone who you have professional authority over? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Could you ever date or associate with a person who was desperately unsure of themselves? ||
* yes/probably
* no/probably not
* unsure/depends on the case
||
|-
| Would you date someone significantly (9 years or over) older than you? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Have you ever gone skydiving? ||
* Yes, and I enjoyed it.
* Yes, but I did not like it.
* No, but I would like to some day.
* No, and I do not want to.
||
|-
| If possible, would you prefer to date someone a lot more attractive than you, or about the same? ||
* A lot more attractive
* About the same
||
|-
| Do you like the idea of living alone? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning? ||
* book burning
* flag burning
||
|-
| Have you ever heard a recording of your own voice? ||
* Yes, I liked the sound of it.
* Yes, but I did not like the sound of it.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you better with numbers or words? ||
* Numbers
* Words
* Both equally
||
|-
| Is it easier to love or to hate? ||
* Love
* Hate
||
It depends on which of good or bad people you've been more exposed towards, and your own shyness or aggressive response.
|-
| Would you consider dating someone twenty years older than you if they were really interesting and looked really good? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| What do you think of reality television? ||
* I love it!
* It's alright.
* I dislike it.
* I have no opinion on reality television
||
|-
| Do you make your bed most days? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When it comes to gambling, which is closest to your style? ||
* Cautious.
* Aggressive.
* Somewhere in the middle.
* I don't gamble.
||
|-
| Do you believe in the power of prayer? ||
* [[Chris and religion|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| You see a police officer. How do you feel? ||
* Safe
* Nervous
||
I really loathe those corrupted [[Jerkops]]!!!
|-
| Which is better: sex without sleeping together or sleeping together without sex? ||
* Sex
* Sleeping
||
|-
| Have you ever changed a diaper? ||
* Yes
* No, and I wouldn't
* No, but I would
||
|-
| Should the death penalty be abolished? ||
* [[Chris and hypocrisy#"I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| On a typical night, what time do you go to sleep? ||
* By 9pm
* By 11pm
* By 1am
* Later
||
[[Biological clock|My internal clock]] has been out of order for a long while, and would be appreciated towards realignment towards a day schedule.
|-
| Do you often make jokes that offend more uptight people? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever had sex with someone you first met online? ||
* Yes.
* [[May 2012 Facebook posts#Hey, Trollies|No.]]
||
|-
| Imagine you and your significant other both have the afternoon off. If you could only choose one of the following activities to do together, which one would it be? ||
* See a movie.
* Stay in and have sex.
* Catch up on chores at home.
* Go shopping.
||
Or whatever I felt like.
|-
| Could you date someone who has (and acts on) radical-left politics? ||
* Yes
* No way, you commie
* As long as it's non-violent.
* Not sure
||
|-
| If while visiting a friend's house, you notice a painting hanging slightly off kilter. Do you adjust it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If a poor 20 year-old woman marries a wealthy 40 year-old man, do you assume it's for the money? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you know how to use a darkroom to develop negatives and prints? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you chew gum? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever had a sexual relationship with someone you met online? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Certainly not in person with the theoretical exes I've had.
|-
| If you had to choose ONLY one, would you rather... ||
* Have great sex
* Have great friends
* Have great love
* Have great ideas
||
|-
| Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Does the idea of living underwater fascinate you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you ideally like to be married within the next 3 years? ||
* Yes
* No
* Possibly
* I'm already married
||
|-
| Group sex (with 3 or more people): ||
* I have tried it.
* [[:File:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|It seriously interests me.]]
* I have little or no interest.
||
With me and multiple women; [[Noviophobia|NO OTHER MALES]].
|-
| Does your newspaper/TV news/news website of choice have a political bias? ||
* Yes, it's biased towards the truth.
* Yes, but I can read between the lines.
* Not that I'm aware of.
* I don't follow the news.
||
|-
| Biting? ||
* No
* Yes
* Let's break skin
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone whose religion or spirituality is the primary focus in their life? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which event sounds most appealing? ||
* Sci-Fi Convention
* Political Convention
* Music Festival
* New Years Eve in Times Square
||
|-
| Have you ever made a booty call (invited over or visited someone you were not actively in a relationship with, just for sexual activity)? ||
* Yes, and I still do.
* Yes, I have done it, but don't any more.
* No, and I never will.
* No, but I suppose I might.
||
|-
| Commitment to personal growth is: ||
* For wimps.
* Critically important.
* Sort of important
||
|-
| Which are you closer to being? ||
* A hippie
* A yuppie
||
|-
| Do you understand quantum physics? ||
* Yes / Some
* No
||
|-
| Do you like to watch sports on television? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What's a worse trait to have? ||
* Greed
* Laziness
||
|-
| Does smoking disgust you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Generally speaking, are you a worrier? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you looking for a partner to have children with? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you own your own country's flag? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you were in a serious relationship, would you mind if your significant other maintained an active profile on OkCupid? ||
* Yes - I would mind this.
* No - This would not bother me.
||
|-
| If you were abducted by aliens and were allowed to bring only one form of entertainment, which would it be? ||
* Literature
* TV/Movies/Music
* Video games
* A hydrogen bomb
||
|-
| Would you be okay with your significant other spending a lot of time with one of his/her exes (as a friend)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| At a party, you're offered a drink, even though you have a busy day tomorrow. Do you take it? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like going to the movies alone? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have your own web page? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like reggae music a lot? ||
* Yes
* No
||
It's okay
|-
| Are you a snob about some things? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe that alcoholism is a disease? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you were searching profiles for a match on OkCupid, which do you think would influence you more? ||
* The pictures.
* The text.
||
|-
| Which best describes your personal feelings about sports? ||
* Sports are a very important part of my life.
* I play or watch sports often.
* I play or watch sports occasionally.
* I don't watch or play sports.
||
|-
| Which best describes your political beliefs? ||
* Liberal / Left-wing
* Centrist
* Conservative / Right-wing
* Other
||
|-
| How much do you usually tip a server who did a fine job? ||
* Around 10% or less
* 10-15%
* 15-20%
* Over 20%
||
|-
| Have you ever skinny-dipped? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| It's 2 AM. While driving home, you stop at an intersection with a red traffic light. After waiting over six minutes, it still hasn't changed to green. No one seems to be around. What do you do? ||
* Run the red light.
* Continue to wait patiently.
* Find a legal way to reroute, avoiding the light.
* Abandon the vehicle and continue on foot.
||
|-
| Imagine being all alone in the great outdoors, miles from anyone, with no communication device. Nobody knows where you are. ||
* This is something I would like.
* This is something I would avoid.
||
|-
| Have you kept any old love letters from ex-lovers? ||
* Yes
* No
* I've never gotten any to keep.
||
|-
| If you could erase any pain from your past and substitute those moments with happiness, would you? ||
* Yes, I'd rather not have those memories.
* No, the pain is part of who I am.
* I'm Not Sure.
||
|-
| Can anything be made the subject of a joke? ||
* Yes, anything can be funny in the right light.
* [[Twin Falling Towers|No, some subjects should not be joked about.]]
||
|-
| Do you feel obligated help your fellow human beings? ||
* Yes
* No
||
[[Alex's Lemonade Stand|I like doing good when I can.]]
|-
| Were you picked on a lot in school? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you consider having a relationship with someone who is married, but no longer has sex with their spouse? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is it possible to have a true relationship, friend or otherwise, with someone you've never met in person? ||
* Yes
* No
||
ANYONE can be hiding behind the "Anon" of their monitor (damn Trolls and CyberBullies); Meeting in person ASAP is a must with me.
|-
| Should drugs be legalized, regulated, and taxed? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Would you date a single parent? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you own any dice with more than six sides? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| At what age do children become old enough to spend several hours at home without the supervision of an adult or babysitter? ||
* Seven years old or younger.
* Eight to ten years old.
* Eleven to thirteen years old.
* Fourteen years old or older.
||
|-
| Do you read fan fiction? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I don't know.
||
|-
| Will you teach your children to believe in [[Christmas|Santa]]? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| After sex do you clean up right away? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Sometimes, it depends upon how I feel.
||
|-
| Is it okay for you to be irrational in making important life decisions? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If someone sends you an e-mail (or has a profile) full of spelling and grammatical errors, are you less likely to talk to them? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Depends on the situation.
|-
| How often do you wash your dishes? ||
* As I use them.
* Daily.
* When I run out of clean utensils.
* When the sink starts to smell funny.
||
|-
| Would it bother you if a platonic friend touched you casually during a conversation? ||
* Yes, it probably would.
* No, it probably would not.
* Possibly, it would depend upon circumstances.
||
|-
| Do you have any totally irrational fears, as in something that is extremely unlikely to happen or imaginary? ||
* Yes
* No
||
But within reason, especially from the real life actions of an Internet Troll or Cyber-Bully.
|-
| How long would a relationship have to last before you would consider seeing a counselor to resolve problems? ||
* Less than one year.
* One to three years.
* More than three years.
* I would never submit to relationship counseling.
||
|-
| Once you take a moral position, can anything be said or done to change your mind? ||
* Yes, life is a big gray area anyway.
* No, some things are just Right or Wrong.
* Maybe. It depends on the issue.
* Maybe, but it would take a lot.
||
|-
| Would you be excited to ride the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have a checklist of mandatory traits that you absolutely require in any significant other? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever had a ghost or spirit around you and you could feel it? ||
* Yes
* No
||
[[Bob Chandler|My late father]] appears often in my dreams.
|-
| What's your opinion of the phrase "making love" when it refers to sex? ||
* It's beautiful.
* It's hokey and overly sentimental.
* It refers to a very specific kind of sex.
* It's no better or worse than any other.
||
|-
| Do you often have strong opinions about the government? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you really liked someone, would you make an effort to clean up before s/he saw your place for the first time? ||
* Yes -- I'd want to make a good first impression.
* No -- someone who really likes me won't care.
* I'd clean up a little, I guess. It's only polite.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy long camping trips? (longer than 3 nights) ||
* I don't like to camp.
* I've never camped, but would like to.
* I like to camp, but not long trips.
* I love long camping trips.
||
|-
| Are you more attracted to virgins? ||
* Yes
* No
* I AM a virgin
||
|-
| Have you ever randomly followed a stranger because you found them attractive? ||
* [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Do you often have a hard time thinking of things to talk about? ||
* Yes
* No
||
[[Slow-in-the-minds|It takes me while sometimes.]]
|-
| Are you either vegetarian or vegan? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like to play drinking games? ||
* Yes, they're totally sweet!
* No, I think they're cheesy/lame
* Not really, but I will on occasion
* No, I don't drink
||
|-
| Would you date someone who has served considerable time in prison? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you feel comfortable going away on a vacation by yourself? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you feel guilty or bad after having sex? ||
* Always
* Sometimes
* Never
* I'm still a virgin.
||
|-
| Do you think you could still be genuinely happy if you weren't in a relationship with anyone? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| You're up against a nearly impossible challenge. Your ideal partner… ||
* pushes you hard to succeed
* reminds you to be realistic
* stands back, but comforts you if you fail
||
|-
| Should cigarettes be illegal? ||
* [[Tobacky|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Do you know how to swim? ||
* Yes
* No
* I am a swimmer
||
|-
| Is foreplay necessary for good sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think the government should limit big chain stores to give small businesses a chance? ||
* Yes
* No
* Maybe
* Don't know/Don't care
||
|-
| Historically, have you gone through periods of "forgetting about your friends" as you have become involved in romantic relationships? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
* I've never been in a romantic relationship.
||
|-
| Which is the greatest compliment you could receive? ||
* That you are beautiful/sexy/hot
* That you are intelligent
* That you are talented
* That you are extremely fun to be with
||
ANY Compliment stated to me Directly, Sincerely and In Person with Eye Contact would be most appreciated. My self esteem has been low for a long while,
|-
| If given the chance to vote on a law supporting assisted suicide, how would you cast your vote? ||
* I'd vote for a law allowing assisted suicide.
* I'd vote against a law allowing assisted suicide.
* I would not vote on such a law.
* How I would vote is my business only.
||
|-
| You read a personal ad and it is misspelled, with poor grammar and uncertain capitalization. Do you allow that to affect your opinion of the person? ||
* Yes
* No
* Maybe / Unsure
||
|-
| When deciding what is right and wrong you are: ||
* more emotional
* more logical
* Religion/faith determines it.
* I am not sure/other reasons.
||
|-
| How many countries have you visited? ||
* I have never left the country I live in now.
* Between 2 and 5 countries.
* Between 6 and 10 countries.
* More than 10 countries.
||
|-
| Is astrological sign at all important in a match? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Does the idea of flipping a coin to make important life decisions appeal to you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you prefer to sleep with the lights on or off? ||
* I like it completely dark.
* I like a little light.
* I like it to be bright.
||
|-
| Do you live with your parent(s)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| During conversation, do you gesticulate? ||
* Yes. Often.
* No. Never.
* Perhaps occasionally.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| The diamond dependent economy of West Africa causes civil wars and crimes against humanity. Should people consider this when purchasing or receiving an engagement ring? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
* [[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|I don't care]]
||
|-
| How interested would you be in knowing the details of a partner's sexual history? ||
* Very interested.
* Somewhat interested.
* Not interested.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who was already in a committed relationship with someone else? ||
* Yes, even in secret.
* Yes, but only if everybody knew.
* No, but I don't think it's inherently wrong.
* No, it's wrong.
||
|-
| Have you ever purposely pretended to be ignorant about something you have knowledge of because you wanted to hear someone else explain it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When you were a child, did you have an [[Sonichu|"imaginary friend"]]? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Which would you rather lose: ||
* the ability to reproduce
* the ability to orgasm
||
|-
| Have you ever seen a ghost? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Or at least I felt like I may have.
|-
| Do you ever date to avoid being alone? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I would if I COULD, but No Woman has asked me out while in public/in person.
|-
| Ouija Boards - Cool or Crap? ||
* Very cool!
* Crap - a waste of time!
* I'm Not Sure.
||
|-
| When you break up with someone, do you tell them the real reason(s) or do you try to let them down as easy as possible? ||
* Tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
* Go easy on them - they'll hurt enough as it is.
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|I've never been the dump-er]]
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who has vocalized a strong negative bias toward [[Chris and Race#Black people|a certain race of people]]? ||
* [[Chris and race|Yes.]]
* No.
* It depends on which race.
||
|-
| You've just met someone incredible while out with friends, and (s)he's been kind enough to cough up a phone number. How long do you wait to call? ||
* As soon as I get home!
* Tomorrow. I don't want to seem too eager.
* The mandatory three days. Duh.
* Eventually, when I feel like it...
||
|-
| Regardless of whether or not you smoke marijuana, do you think it should be legalized for adults? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| A "shooting star" is a star that... ||
* ...burned out, and collapsed
* ...collided with Earth's atmosphere
* ...got sucked into a black hole
* ...isn't really a star
||
|-
| You're in a serious, monogamous relationship when your partner gets offered their dream job overseas for three years. They have decided that it's a chance they just can't pass up. Which of these choices is most appealing to you? ||
* Trying to arrange it so you can go with
* Maintaining a long-distance relationship
* Staying friends, but dating around til they return
* Breaking up and moving on
||
|-
| Do you practice or believe in real magick, not to be confused with stage magic and parlor tricks? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How soon would you meet your significant other's parents? ||
* Right Away!
* After a few weeks of dating
* After a few months of dating
* After a few years of dating
||
It is up to her.
|-
| Which is longer? ||
* A mile
* A kilometer
* I don't know!
||
|-
| Gay marriage—should it be legal? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever driven a motor vehicle over 100mph (161kph)? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When eating, do you generally eat the things you like most first or save them for last? ||
* I eat the things I like most first.
* I eat the things I like most last.
* I don't usually eat in a particular order.
||
|-
| Do you have any interest in collecting coins? ||
* Yes, I buy and/or sell collectible coins.
* Yes, I regularly check my change for rarities.
* Yes, I'm attached to a few coins.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy intense intellectual conversations? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think homosexuality is a sin? ||
* [[Homos|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Has anyone ever accused you of being "too clingy"? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
But I have better self-control now.
|-
| Do you think you could ever enjoy being humiliated as part of a sexual experience? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| From which medium are you most likely to find out about new news stories? ||
* Television
* Newspaper
* Radio
* Online
||
|-
| If you want to get to the top of the stairs sooner, do you: ||
* Skip steps
* Go faster without skipping
||
|-
| Which of the following has the biggest influence on your behavior? ||
* Reason, Observation, Empiricism, Trial-And-Error.
* Tradition, Faith, Upbringing, Heritage.
* Emotion, Intuition, Instinct.
||
|-
| What if you found out, just before the wedding, that the love of your life was sterile and unable to ever have kids? ||
* Break off the wedding
* Continue the wedding and adopt
* Continue the wedding and not adopt
* Celebrate and get married
||
|-
| Have you ever stayed up all night, until dawn, talking with someone you have just met? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you think politics have an impact on your everyday life? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
* Who cares?
||
|-
| Would you leave an otherwise perfect relationship if you found out your partner was interested in children sexually? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| What's the gender distribution of the vocalists in your music collection? ||
* Mostly female singers.
* Nearly the same male and female.
* Mostly male singers.
* I have little or no music collection with vocals.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy intellectual debates on topics like politics, religion, science or philosophy? ||
* I love to argue!
* Sometimes.
* It's usually boring or annoying.
* I'm not smart enough.
||
|-
| What causes Earth's seasons? ||
* Earth's distance from the sun
* Earth's tilt in relation to the sun
* Earth's rotation on its axis
* Don't know / don't care / not sure
||
|-
| Wearing socks with sandals is: ||
* [[Chris and Fashion|Perfectly fine.]]
* Utterly wrong.
* OK sometimes.
* Not a subject I have an opinion on.
||
|-
| Underarms can be a hairy subject. How do you maintain your pits? ||
* I let it grow, wild & free!
* Occasionally I'll trim.
* I shave consistently.
* Whatever I feel like at the time.
||
|-
| If money were not an issue, would you have major cosmetic surgery on any part of your face or body? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How big is your porn collection? ||
* Small
* Medium
* [[Craigslist#Used Porn|LARGE]]
* I don't have one
||
|-
| How do you dispose of your used chewing gum? ||
* [[Semen#Recycling|I swallow it.]]
* I spit it out or stick it to something.
* I wrap it up and/or dispose of it neatly.
* I don't use chewing gum.
||
|-
| If you were forced right now to discover with absolute certainty one and only one of the following related to the future instance of your death, which would you choose to learn? ||
* The year.
* The month.
* The day of the month.
* The hour and minute of the day.
||
|-
| Which is more important for a good match? ||
* Having similar political beliefs
* Having good sex
||
Similar interests
|-
| Would you lie about how you met a person you were dating to please your parents? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
* Only if my pertner wanted me to
||
|-
| What's more important? ||
* Safety
* Freedom
||
|-
| Receiving anal sex? ||
* I like it / I think I might like it
* I don't like it / I don't think I would like it
||
Only with/from a woman; if on me, she would wear a strap-on.
|-
| Do you consider government taxes (such as income tax) a form of theft? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Do you believe you've lived past lives? ||
* Yes, I am confident I have.
* No, I do not believe this is possible.
* Maybe, but there is no way to really know.
||
|-
| How shy would you say you are? ||
* Very shy
* Kind of shy
* Not really shy
* Not at all shy
||
|-
| Do you regularly paint or sculpt? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How easily are you offended? ||
* Very easily.
* Somewhat easily.
* Not very easily.
||
|-
| Do you sleep with the television on? ||
* Yes, always
* No, never ever
* Sometimes
* Depends on what I'm watching
||
|-
| Half of all policemen are thieves and half of all policemen are murderers. Does it follow logically that all policemen are criminals? ||
* Yes
* No
||
HELL YES! I Really Loathe the damn, corrupted [[Jerkops]]!!!
|-
| Have you ever gotten, or would you ever get, a piercing below the belt? ||
* I have.
* I would.
* I wouldn't.
||
|-
| The person you have been seeing for a while climbs in through your window, crawls in bed with you, and cuddles up. You find this: ||
* Scary
* A sign of neediness
* Cute
* The perfect time to ask them to move in
||
Surprising.
|-
| On average, how do your friends compare to you, age-wise? ||
* They're mostly older than I
* They're mostly younger than I
* They're about the same age
* I don't have that many friends
||
|-
| Would you like to have someone strap on a dildo and put it inside you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever been outside of your own country? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that you receive a document that absolutely proves whether or not God exists. Upon reading the document and finding the truth, you must decide whether or not to share the proof with the world. Which would you do? ||
* Share the truth regardless of what it is.
* Keep the truth to myself regardless of what it is.
* Share only if it proves that God exists.
* Share only if it proves that God does not exist.
||
|-
| If you meet someone and they are everything you are looking for, except their body type, do you give them a chance? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Only the obese.
|-
| Can you be single and truly happy at the same time? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Where would you prefer to live? ||
* A modest house in a nice neighborhood.
* The nicest house in a modest neighborhood.
||
|-
| Have you ever cut off contact with someone after seeing their pic? ||
* Yes
* No
* No, but I would if they were not attractive enough
||
|-
| Do you have a vanity license plate? ||
* [[Son-Chu#Vanity plate|vanity license plate]]
* No, absolutely not
* No, but I want one
||
|-
| Have you ever taken a shower with a partner? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you play the devil's advocate? ||
* Always.
* Sometimes.
* Never.
||
|-
| Is there at least one nude photo of you on the Net? ||
* [[Nudes|Yes]]
* No
* Yes, but my face isn't visible
* Not sure
||
|-
| Would you ever get on a motorcycle? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever had sex in a place where there was a high risk of being caught? ||
* Yes
* No, but it sounds like fun
* No, I don't think I could do it
||
|-
| Do you believe reason is more important than emotions in solving problems? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How would you say your self esteem is? ||
* High
* Low
* Neither high nor low
||
|-
| Are you willing to wear uncomfortable clothes to look good? ||
* Absolutely not
* On very special occasions
* Sometimes
* Usually yes
||
I would [[Tomgirl Saga|cross dress]] more often if [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] was not against me doing it (panties and [[Muscle bra|bra]] included, but wear them anyway).
|-
| The life of one of your fellow citizens is more valuable than the lives of ten foreigners. ||
* True
* False
||
|-
| Would you date a transgender person? ||
* Yes
* No
||
As long as she was [[Hermaphrodite#Trans Men|born female and was still female]] (or a tomboy)
|-
| Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is it morally right for society to allow parents of children too young to make their own decisions to deny them the medical attention they require for survival for religious reasons? ||
* Yes, it is their child after all
* No, absolutely not
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Do you think bodily fluids are inherently gross? ||
* [[Fapcup|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| How confident are you in your sexual abilities? ||
* Super confident
* Confident
* Not really confident
||
|-
| Do you believe that wealth in America is fairly distributed? ||
* [[Monthly tugboat|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| To your knowledge, do people have an unusual or humorous nickname for you? ||
* Yes, and I like it.
* Yes, but I don't like it.
* No.
||
Damn [[Trolls]] call me [[fat]] and [[Slow-in-the-minds|freaking dumb and stupid]] when [[Chris and reality|I am NOT]]. UGH!!!
|-
| Have you ever entered into a relationship out of desperation? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
And I am near desperate now.
|-
| Hypothetically, and if the lack of either wouldn't affect your health, which would you give up? ||
* Sex
* Sleep
||
|-
| Beards: cool or ugly? ||
* Cool
* Ugly
* Depends
||
|-
| Are you currently employed? ||
* Yes, I have a fulltime job
* No
* Part time
* I'm a student
||
|-
| How many people have you kissed that are not related to you, in a more than friendly way? ||
* 0
* 1-10
* 11-50
* 51+
||
|-
| Would you ever consider dating a Buddhist? ||
* Yes
* Hesitant, but willing
* No
* Only if he/she was non-practicing
||
|-
| "The best days of my life" are: ||
* In my future.
* [[Manchester High School|In my past.]]
* Right now.
||
|-
| What is the most exciting thing about getting to know someone new? ||
* Discovering your shared interests
* Discovering their body
||
|-
| Has anyone ever accused you of being "high maintenance"? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you happy with your life? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Mainly because of being lonely from being single and PUBLICALLY ''[sic]'' Invisible.
|-
| Rate your self-confidence: ||
* Very, very high
* Higher than average
* Average
* Below average
||
|-
| Do you believe contraception is morally wrong? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is your ideal match well-off financially (or at the very least someone who has high income potential)? ||
* Yes, it's very important.
* It's somewhat important.
* It's not very important
* It's not important at all.
||
|-
| Guys with facial hair… ||
* Great!
* Okay.
* Gross!
||
|-
| Have you ever been in love? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have rape fantasies? ||
* Yes
* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#With Megan|No]]
||
|-
| When shopping, you noticed that wealthy-looking man dropped some money on the floor while paying and didn't notice while leaving. What will you do? ||
* Take the money
* Chase the man down and return it
||
|-
| The most important question to ask yourself when making a decision is... ||
* Will everyone be happy?
* Is it the right thing to do?
* Will I get what I want?
||
|-
| Think quick! ||
* 3.14159
* 3.14195
* 3.14519
* 3.14591
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who plans to remain celibate indefinitely? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you believe a couple should live together before considering marriage? ||
* Yes
* No
||
It's not obligatory.
|-
| Would you ever sleep with a serial killer? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Did you ever have a "goth" phase? ||
* No.
* Yes, and I'm a little embarrassed about it.
* Yes, and I'm proud of it.
* It wasn't a 'phase'!
||
|-
| If you got married, would you change your name? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you only date people with athletic and toned bodies? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever dated someone you didn't even like out of sheer loneliness? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you regularly go out partying on weeknights? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you—for any reason—read your mate's email or pose as him/her online, without his/her knowledge and permission? ||
* Yes, they shouldn't be keeping secrets anyway.
* Yes, I'd be too curious not to.
* Only if I suspected them of something.
* No, I'd trust them and that would be invasive.
||
|-
| Would you ever be willing to skip out on responsibilities (such as work, school, or such) to stay at home and have sex with someone? ||
* Yes. Sex always comes first.
* Yes. Occasionally.
* No. Never.
||
|-
| After dating someone for a while, you finally get to see where they live. He/she leaves you alone to go take a quick shower. Would you snoop? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How frequently do you bathe or shower? ||
* At least once a day.
* Usually daily. I skip some.
* A couple times a week.
* Once a week or less.
||
|-
| Which is more important in a healthy relationship? ||
* Maintaining privacy
* Total openness
||
|-
| How do you feel about living with a significant other before marriage? ||
* Nothing wrong with that.
* Maybe, depending on the situation.
* I'm against that.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| How much would you dress up for a first date with someone you met on OkCupid? ||
* I'd go all out.
* I'd try to look nice.
* I wouldn't wear anything special.
* It would vary, depending upon their profile.
||
|-
| Do you find science to be interesting? ||
* Yes - Hard Science (Biology, Chemistry, Physics).
* Yes - Social Science (Psychology, Sociology).
* Yes - Both are interesting.
* No - None are interesting.
||
|-
| How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? ||
* I'm ready when I wake up
* Less than 1 hour
* 1 - 2 hours
* 2 hours or more
||
|-
| Do you have experience being in a slave/master relationship? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you good at explaining things? ||
* Yes
* No
||
To the best of my ability and knowledge of the topic.
|-
| How much communication is ideal during sex? ||
* A lot! It's all about the talk.
* Just enough to get things right.
* None. Shut up so I can concentrate.
||
|-
| Cell phones: good or evil? ||
* Good
* Evil
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who has no interest in sex and experiences no sexual attraction to either gender if they were otherwise perfect? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you consider yourself to be an honorable person? ||
* Yes, I always try to do the right thing.
* Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
* No, not really.
* Are you kidding? I lie, cheat, AND steal.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to date a musician? ||
* Of course!
* Possibly...depending on what they do.
* I really don't know.
* Not a chance!
||
|-
| Is it important to you to have the last word in an argument? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is VERY short hair on a girl necessarily unattractive? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you wear a seatbelt when you ride in an automobile? ||
* Always.
* Most of the time.
* Usually not.
* Never.
||
|-
| Would you date a comic book geek? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like logic puzzles? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of these do you use/consult the MOST when making decisions? ||
* Mysticism/Religion/Higher Power
* Emotion/Instinct
* Logic/Reason
* Random Chance
||
|-
| How often do you interrupt people? ||
* Never.
* Rarely.
* Often.
* Always.
||
|-
| Would you ever consider dating an open-minded atheist? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
|-
| Sleeping under the stars: ||
* Yes!
* No!
* Maybe!
||
|-
| Not as in whips and chains, but in general, do you prefer your partner to be... ||
* Dominant
* Submissive
* Balanced
||
|-
| You witness your next door neighbors discreetly smoking marijuana on their own property. How do you respond? ||
* I call the police immediately.
* I warn them that next time I'll call the police.
* I ask them if I can join in.
* I don't. I'm as friendly (or not) as always.
||
I'm not sure.
|-
| Would you ever eat something out of the trash? ||
* Yes
* Maybe (if it's still good)
* No
||
|-
| Do you enjoy giving oral sex? ||
* Love it!
* It's okay.
* Not so much.
* Gross!
||
|-
| Where do you primarily get the books you read? ||
* Library.
* Bookstore / Online.
* Friends.
* I don't read books.
||
|-
| Have you ever lied to a partner about your sexual history? ||
* Yes
* No
* I've never discussed my sexual history in this way
||
|-
| Imagine that you are attacked on a dark street by someone brandishing a deadly weapon. You defend yourself and are unhurt, but in doing so your actions kill the attacker. You believe there were no witnesses. Which would you do? ||
* Continue as if nothing happened.
* Notify the police.
* Call a lawyer.
* Attempt to dispose of any evidence and leave.
||
|-
| How do you feel about germs? ||
* Obsessed: I bleach anything I can't trust!
* Careful: I wash my hands and cover my sneezes.
* Polite: I always wash up when someone's watching.
* Unconcerned: I don't actively lick doorknobs.
||
|-
| Do you like dogs? Would you consider owning a dog as a pet? ||
* [[Clover and Snoopy|Yes, I would love (or do own) a dog.]]
* I'm not too into them, but I wouldn't mind one.
* No, I dislike dogs.
* I like them, but I'm allergic.
||
|-
| Outside of work and school, how inclined are you to investigate something that interests you? ||
* Very inclined
* Somewhat inclined
* Not inclined
||
|-
| I find myself in fights with authority figures... ||
* Often
* [[Jerkops|Rarely]] / [[Manajerks|never]]
||
|-
| If you were involved in a serious relationship, at which of the following points would you begin looking for new potential partners? ||
* When the relationship was not going well.
* When I was certain the relationship was ending.
* After the relationship was formally terminated.
* All of the time.
||
|-
| If you found a valuable item that you knew was lost by someone you dislike, would you return it to them? ||
* Yes.
* No, I'd take it for myself.
* No, but I wouldn't take it for myself.
||
|-
| Can just one person significantly change the world? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When you have plans to meet someone at a certain time, it's best to be: ||
* A little early.
* A little late.
* Precisely on time.
* Whatever.
||
|-
| You are at a busy event when you come across a child who appears to be lost, alone, and distressed. How do you respond? ||
* I talk to the child and offer to help.
* I notify the authorities.
* I do nothing.
* I do something else.
||
|-
| Is your ideal sex rough or gentle? ||
* Rough
* Gentle
* I enjoy both equally
* I'm a virgin
||
|-
| Do you like going to amusement parks? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When, if at all, should a child adopted at birth be told that s/he was adopted? ||
* From the very beginning/a very early age.
* Once s/he is old enough to understand/ask.
* Only if unavoidable (e.g., different skin color).
* Ideally, never.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy riding roller coasters? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I've never ridden a roller coaster before!
||
|-
| Do you like to cuddle? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Sometimes - It depends.
||
|-
| Would you ever date someone that is HIV positive? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don't know
||
|-
| Do you go to the tanner? ||
* Yes
* No
* For special occaisons
* I get my tan naturally
||
|-
| When planning future activities with your significant other(s), do you generally like to take the lead? ||
* Yes, most of the time
* Share equally
* No, I'm not a planner. Help!
||
|-
| Which is a bigger deal for you? ||
* Telling someone you really care
* Oral sex
||
|-
| Would you date someone who's smart but achieved nothing in life? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _ ||
* 36
* 48
* 46
* Don't know / don't care
||
|-
| If you were going to have a child, would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* This would not be an important factor to me.
||
|-
| When someone speaks with a noticeable accent, does that influence your opinion of their intelligence? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends upon the accent.
||
|-
| Have you ever raised an animal for food? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| What style of online writing annoys you most? ||
* It gt 2 b dis typ: cuz it showz dat dey is fik
* ThIs TyPe: It JuSt LoOkS sTuPiD..
* ALL CAPITALS: THE STYLE OF THE ATTENTION SEEKER!
* Consistent proper English: We are not at school!
||
|-
| Do you feel that voting in all elections should be required by law? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| You see a mother breastfeeding at the mall. For the most part she is covered, but you can tell what she is doing. What is your reaction? ||
* Gross!
* How sweet! What a good mom!
* No reaction, just keep shopping.
* Sexy.
||
|-
| Which of the following could you most easily live without for an entire month? ||
* Toothbrush and toothpaste.
* Phone.
* Internet.
* Porn.
||
|-
| If you had a one-night stand DURING a relationship, would you confess to your mate? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine you have only $50 and will not receive any additional income for ten days. A show that you desperately want to see is in town for today only. The tickets are $50. Do you use all your money to buy one? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you like someone a lot, do you usually ask them out? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which of these is more fascinating to you? ||
* How big the universe is.
* How small molecules are.
* Both are fascinating to think about!
* I don't think about that kind of stuff.
||
|-
| Would you and your ideal match eventually feel comfortable [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|farting]] around each other? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| For which emotion is self-restraint the most crucial? ||
* [[Chris and anger|Anger]]
* Fear
* Lust
* Jealousy
||
|-
| Without using a dictionary or other tool, can you choose the commonly misspelled word? Don't cheat! It's okay if you don't know. ||
* Separate
* Definate
* Committee
* (Not sure / dumb question / who cares)
||
|-
| When men show extra courtesy toward women (opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.), this is: ||
* Admirable and desirable. Chivalry's not dead.
* Unnecessary but appreciated.
* Sexist and insulting; women are perfectly capable.
||
|-
| Do you have an ex that you would really like to date again? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which is worse: Obesity or anorexia? ||
* Obesity.
* Anorexia.
* Both are equally bad.
* Neither is bad.
||
|-
| At the movies, do you stay for the credits? ||
* Always.
* Sometimes.
* Never.
||
|-
| How are your teeth? ||
* Perfect
* [[Fangs|Okay]]
* Kinda Scraggly
* Fucked Up
||
|-
| Do you wear a suit to work (or female equivalent)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is it more important to you that you are tactful, or truthful? ||
* Tactful
* [[Honest Content|Truthful]]
||
|-
| A person you're interested in attempts to cook a romantic meal for you. After tasting a bit of it, you notice it hasn't been cooked completely. What do you do? ||
* Smile and hope your gag reflex doesn't kick in.
* Tell him/her the food needs to cook a little longe
* Flat out refuse to eat it.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Immediately after having sex with a partner, which of the following sounds most appealing? ||
* Cuddling with them.
* Doing my own thing.
* Sleeping.
* Masturbating or having sex again.
||
|-
| Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have a living will? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever told someone that you loved them when you didn't? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is a girl who's slept with 100 guys a bad person? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which makes for a better first date? ||
* Coffee and chit-chat
* Drinks and groping
||
|-
| Would you date someone who is bisexual? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When was your favorite book written? If you have more than one favorite, pick your favorite period of literature. ||
* Pre-1700 (Renaissance/medieval/classical/ancient)
* 1700-1900 (Elizabethan, Romantic, Victorian, etc.)
* 1900-1945ish (Modern)
* 1950s or later (Contemporary)
||
|-
| Do you have a car? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you usually vote in presidential (or applicable) elections? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which is more important in determining whether someone should be your friend? ||
* Their religious beliefs.
* Their political beliefs.
* Neither is important.
* Both are equally important.
||
|-
| Would you allow your partner to decide what you wear to bed? ||
* Yes, always.
* Yes, sometimes.
* No, never.
||
|-
| If you could 'take back' your virginity from you first partner, would you? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm still a virgin
||
|-
| How much can intelligence turn you on? ||
* A lot!
* A bit.
* Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
* Intelligence turns me off.
||
|-
| Can you remember the names of everyone you've ever had sex with? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I've never had sex with anyone.
||
|-
| What kind of education did you have growing up? ||
* Private school.
* Public school.
* Home school.
* Some combination of the above.
||
|-
| Do you snort when you laugh? ||
* Yes / sometimes
* No / never
||
|-
| If married, when would you expect your partner to wear a wedding ring? ||
* Most or all of the time.
* Some of the time. It's situation dependent.
* Seldom or not at all.
* Only when they want to.
||
|-
| Have you ever ridden a horse? ||
* [[:File:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg|Yes, and I enjoyed it.]]
* Yes, but I did not like it.
* No, but I would like to some day.
* No, and I do not want to.
||
|-
| How would you feel if a significant other forgot your birthday, nameday, anniversary, or something else similarly important to you? ||
* Indifferent.
* Disappointed.
* Annoyed.
* Angry.
||
|-
| Is it okay to answer your cell phone while out with a friend or on a date? ||
* Of course. Why wouldn't it be?
* Friend, yes. Date, no.
* No, that's just rude.
||
|-
| Do you have dessert after dinner? ||
* Yes, often
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Do you think taxes are justified? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever worked in a customer service job? ||
* [[Wendy's|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Do you believe that, when a soldier kills an enemy soldier in combat during a war, it is murder? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you performed in a theater setting as an adult? ||
* Yes, as a professional.
* Yes, as a student.
* Yes, as a hobby.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you believe you can communicate using only your mind (telepathy)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I wish I had all Psychic Powers.
|-
| How many hours a day do you prefer to sleep? ||
* [[Biological clock|Around 8 hours]]
* A lot less than 8 hours
* More than 8 hours
||
|-
| Do you find British comedies entertaining? ||
* They're all I watch.
* [[Monty Python|I like them quite a bit!]]
* Kind of, but I'd rather watch something else.
* Not at all.
||
|-
| Do you have (or are you getting) a degree from one of the 8 ivy league universities, MIT, Stanford, Duke, U Chicago, or Caltech? ||
* Yes
* No
* My degree is not from the U.S.
||
|-
| Do you ever intentionally try to make people angry just to see how they react? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How would learning that a potential match has served in the military affect your interest in him or her? ||
* I'd be more interested.
* I'd be less interested.
* It wouldn't matter at all.
||
|-
| When you are sleeping, do you prefer: ||
* A cold room
* A cool room
* A warm room
* A hot room
||
I'm sleeping under blankets after all.
|-
| Can most babysitters be trusted with children? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| A college-level education is... ||
* Necessary
* Nice, but not mandatory
* Unnecessary
||
|-
| If you were in a committed long-term relationship and met someone you feel an even stronger attraction to, which would you do? ||
* Continue current relationship, ignore attraction.
* Explore both relationships simultaneously.
* End the old relationship and pursue the new one.
||
|-
| Would you prefer someone extremely mellow or extremely hyper? ||
* Hyper
* Mellow
||
|-
| In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting? ||
* Yes, it would.
* No, it wouldn't.
||
|-
| Preferred position: are you a top or a bottom? ||
* Top
* Bottom
* Versatile
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Do you think that people who go to jail for serious crimes deserve a second chance out in the real world? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* It depends on the crime.
||
|-
| I would rather be... ||
* Unemployed, broke, but busy doing things I love
* Working 60 hours a week at a job I like
* Working regular hours at a job I hate
||
|-
| Have your sexual interests become kinkier as you've grown older? ||
* Yes.
* No, they haven't changed much.
* No, just the opposite.
* No, I have no sexual interests.
||
|-
| Is [[JERKS|a guy who's slept with 100 girls]] a bad person? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you more of a morning person or a night person? ||
* Morning
* Night
||
|-
| How vegetarian are you? ||
* Not at all!
* I might become one.
* I'm a flexitarian or pescatarian.
* I'm a vegetarian.
||
|-
| Do you flake out on social invitations? (Accept and change your mind at the last minute.) ||
* Sometimes
* Rarely / Never
||
|-
| Do you think most people your age would guess what kinds of music you listen to or don't listen to just by looking at you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do trees have souls? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Anything is possible.
|-
| If you came across a word you didn't know while reading, would you stop to look up its definition? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe.
||
|-
| Have you ever thrown an object in anger during an argument? ||
* Yes.
* [[Chris and anger#Examples of Chris's anger|No.]]
||
|-
| If you saw a man knitting in public what would you think? ||
* He's gay.
* He's hot.
* He's just secure in his masculinity.
* He's weird.
||
I wouldn't care; none of my business.
|-
| Do you ever feel it is important to answer questions like these in certain denominations or multiples? (e.g., You can't stop until you've answerd a multiple of 5 questions or the total number of questions you've answered ends in 2.) ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Imagine your date starts groping you in the car while you're driving. Which would you be most likely to do? ||
* Pull over immediately and return the favor.
* Find the nearest hotel room.
* Roll with the flow and keep driving.
* Tell them to stop.
||
|-
| If your significant other turned down sex in favor of a video game, after you have already had sex three times that day, would you be offended? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Not ideally, but realistically, do you flock to the "bad" boys/girls? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think most people tell at least one lie most days? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How would you feel about a significant other [[List of toys|collecting toys that are generally considered appropriate for children]]? ||
* Positive.
* Negative.
* Neutral or indifferent.
||
|-
| Would you read a book recommended to you by a significant other? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe, depending on the book.
||
|-
| When you fall in love with someone, do you go ahead and tell them, or do you wait for them to say they love you first? ||
* I go ahead and tell them.
* I wait until they say it.
* I don't really care.
* Never been in love.
||
At least to state that I like her.
|-
| I accept other people's quirks: ||
* Enthusiastically
* Readily
* Grudgingly
* Not at all
||
|-
| Have you ever given an answer on a test or quiz that you knew with perfect certainty to be correct, even though you were confident another answer was expected and that your 'correct choice' would not receive credit? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is art important to you? ||
* [[Chris and art|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Do you want your partner to be kinkier than you? ||
* Yes
* No
* Not possible
||
|-
| Which type of education would you prefer for your children? ||
* Public.
* Private.
* Religious.
* Home.
||
|-
| Do you typically speak and write in a clear, precise manner? ||
* [[Chris and English|Yes, almost always.]]
* Yes, but only for classes/work.
* It depends on my mood.
* Ha, my language is vague and messy.
||
|-
| If you found out the person you're dating cannot achieve orgasm without being slapped hard across the face, would you be willing to satisfy them in this way? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you Google someone before a first date? ||
* Yes. Knowledge is power!
* No. Why spoil the mystery?
||
|-
| Do you have any tattoos? ||
* I have 1 or more BIG tattoos
* I have 1 or more LITTLE tattoos
* I have no tattoos
||
|-
| How important would it be for you to have a work schedule that is similar to your partner's work schedule? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
||
|-
| What's your take on "professional" wrestling? ||
* I love it - Give me ringside seats.
* It's ok. If it's on, I might watch.
* I don't care for it.
* I think anyone who watches it is stupid.
||
|-
| Have you typically researched the policies of companies before you bought products from them? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Regardless of your actual age, do you consider yourself to be an adult? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only some of the time.
||
|-
| Do you have a child or children? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Someone you are interested in sometimes becomes very emotional over forms of art (movies, music, poetry.) How does this make you feel? ||
* They are a sissy
* It's cool / ok
* I am the same way
||
|-
| Is it easy for you to throw away things that you don't really use anymore? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Sometimes difficult sentimentally.
|-
| You have just been unfairly laid off from work. As you are leaving, you have an opportunity to steal something of value, and nobody would know. Would you take it? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you ever consider dating a Catholic? ||
* Yes
* Hesitant, but willing
* No
* Only if he/she was non-practicing
||
|-
| How often do you wear underwear? ||
* Always
* Usually
* Rarely
* Never
||
Panties and Sports Bra; I am a Tomgirl.
|-
| Imagine that, through some misfortune, your significant other loses the ability to have sex again. Do you stay with them? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if we're free to have sex with someone else.
||
|-
| Would you date someone with a mental illness? ||
* Yes
* Depends on the illness
* Only if they're symptom free through treatment
* No
||
|-
| Do you usually blurt things out, or do you think carefully before speaking? ||
* Blurt it out
* Think carefully
||
|-
| What do you think of laws that make smoking illegal in bars and restaurants? ||
* I support the laws
* I oppose the laws
||
|-
| Would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is 'seeing someone' or 'married'? ||
* Yes to both
* No to both
* Yes to 'seeing someone' only
* Yes to 'married' only
||
|-
| Do you believe that art and literature courses are important to students, even if they are majoring in other fields? ||
* Yes, absolutely.
* I like them, but don't know if they're important.
* No, why waste their time?
||
|-
| Do you like the taste of beer? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Should healthcare be funded by the government? ||
* Yes, for everyone.
* Yes, but only for certain people.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Do you know CPR? ||
* Yes
* No
* Only the basics/never finished the course.
||
|-
| Do you pick up after yourself? Be honest. ||
* Always.
* Yeah, when I have the time.
* No, I live in filth.
* No, my mom/roommate/partner mostly does it for me.
||
|-
| Guys/girls who are tall and lanky: ||
* Love it!
* Hate it!
* Don't particularly care
||
|-
| Have you ever purchased a math textbook purely for your own enjoyment? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you consider yourself to be good at clear verbal communication? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Do you consider yourself to be a picky eater? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Someone you like is drunkenly flirting with you. You know that with a sober mind this person would never engage in casual sex, but now it seems that they're willing. What do you do? ||
* Take advantage of the situation
* Absolutely nothing
||
|-
| You're dating someone new. You discover that they have a housemate the same sex as you. This: ||
* Makes you feel uncomfortable
* Doesn't faze you one bit
||
|-
| Do you enjoy crossword puzzles or jumbled word puzzles? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you run into a burning building to rescue your pet? ||
* Yes, without a doubt
* No, it's only an animal
* I'm not sure/Depends on the conflagration
* I don't have a pet
||
|-
| Imagine you're having the perfect conversation with your ideal partner. What are you doing? ||
* Telling stories
* Debating
* Agreeing
* Making plans
||
|-
| Who is more annoying, the person who talks too much or the person who doesn't talk enough? ||
* The person who talks too much.
* The person who doesn't talk enough.
||
|-
| Would you be turned off by the idea of dating someone who has never been kissed? ||
* Yes
* No
* Don't know
||
|-
| You've been gone for a day, and didn't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend where you were, you come to find ten messages on your answering machine from him/her. You find this... ||
* Unsettling
* A bit much, but understandable
* Very sweet
* I wouldn't think anything of it
||
|-
| Have you ever faked an orgasm during sex? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you created a 'Things To Do Before I Die' list? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you date a recovering (non-drinking) alcoholic? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| On average, which best describes how often you GET WICKED DRUNK? ||
* Twice a week or more
* Weekly / Bi-Weekly
* Once every month or three.
* Seldom or never.
||
|-
| If your significant other actively participates in an activity that you are not really interested in, would you go to offer support if they wanted you to? ||
* Yes, as often as I could.
* Yes, I'd go occasionally.
* Maybe once or twice, to say I did.
* No, I would not.
||
|-
| You're out on the street and you encounter some people speaking a foreign language. What's your reaction? ||
* You're in our country; speak our language!
* No big deal.
* Cool, what language are they speaking?
* (in their language) Hi, how are you?
||
|-
| How would you react if a partner bought you an outfit to be worn during sex? ||
* Positively.
* Negatively.
* Indifferently.
* It would depend upon the outfit.
||
|-
| Does silence make you uncomfortable? ||
* Yes
* No
* Depends on the situation
||
|-
| If someone identifies as a feminist, does that raise or lower your opinion of them? ||
* It raises my opinion.
* It lowers my opinion.
* It has no effect on my opinion.
||
|-
| What would be more likely to bother you in a relationship? ||
* Not enough space
* Not enough affection
||
|-
| Do you have a survival kit prepared just in case a disaster occurs and normal services are disrupted for an extended period of time? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| You're on a first date at a restaurant. You're most likely to order: ||
* Something relatively inexpensive.
* Something light and healthy.
* Something that isn't too messy to eat.
* Whatever I want, of course.
||
|-
| Do you believe that your government should fund embryonic stem cell research that would require the destruction of additional human embryos? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
* I don't care.
||
|-
| Which describes you better? ||
* Warm-hearted
* Cool-headed
||
|-
| Should governments control population by placing legal limits on childbearing? ||
* Yes.
* No, that violates human rights.
* No, that is against my spiritual beliefs.
* No, for other reasons.
||
|-
| Do you like wearing formal attire? ||
* Yes, I love dressing up.
* Occasionally, when I need to.
* No / It makes me uncomfortable.
* No opinion/Never had to
||
|-
| Do you enjoy crude humor, dirty jokes, and the like? ||
* Yes, and I often try to push the boundaries!
* Usually, yes.
* Not in most cases, no.
* Absolutely not at all.
||
|-
| Are you a good liar? ||
* Yes
* [[List of Chris's lies|No]]
||
|-
| Would you consider having sex in a graveyard? ||
* Yes, anything goes.
* Yes, but only with the living.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you make any special efforts to support small, independent businesses instead of the big chains? ||
* Yes, I support the little guys whenever I can.
* No, I prefer dealing with big business chains.
* I support whoever has superior products/services.
* This does not concern me at all.
||
|-
| Say you're with someone you really care about, and they reveal their deepest, darkest secret. Which of the following would be most likely to scare you away? ||
* [[April 16 Fetish Vids|A sexual fetish.]]
* [[Chris and anger|A bad temper.]]
* [[Autism|A mild mental illness.]]
* [[Chris and money#Credit cards|A history of bad credit.]]
||
|-
| If a very skinny stray cat were to come to your doorstep, would you feed it, believing that if you did, it would probably keep coming back? ||
* Yes - I would consider adopting it.
* Yes, but I could make no further commitment to it.
* No - Someone else should feed it.
* No - I would try to scare it away.
||
|-
| You are interested in someone, and you discover that they were a nerd in high school. How does this affect your opinion of them? ||
* Favorably.
* Unfavorably.
* It makes no difference.
||
|-
| Do you lift weights? ||
* [[11042009 51 50|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have instant ramen noodles ever been your nutritional mainstay for more than 2 weeks? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is a sinful or immoral thought just as bad as acting on that thought? ||
* Yes, it's just as bad.
* No, it's not as bad.
* A thought can't be sinful or immoral.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who has been divorced more than once? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever dyed your hair a real crazy, unnatural color? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Should drunk drivers who kill people in auto crashes face the death penalty? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you allow a pet to sleep on your bed? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe.
||
|-
| Of the following, which do you spend the most time doing while taking a bath or shower? ||
* Washing and/or conditioning.
* Shaving.
* Relaxing.
* Masturbating.
||
|-
| Your significant other's family speaks a different language, and will accept you more easily if you speak it. Do you: ||
* Learn it by taking classes
* Try to pick it up along the way
* Do nothing
||
|-
| You're shopping for something and have three versions to choose from. Which do you pick? ||
* The one with the most style.
* The one with the most features.
* The one with the lowest price.
||
|-
| In a potential mate, is ditzyness a turn-on or a turn-off? ||
* Turn-on. I find scatterbrained people cute.
* Turn-off. I find easily-confused types annoying.
* I'm neutral / it depends on their other traits.
||
|-
| Do you believe that scientific investigation is the only effective method to gain meaningful knowledge about the universe? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| How often do you tell your platonic friends that you love them? ||
* Almost every time I see them.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
|-
| A difference of opinion over which of the following topics would most likely make you think twice about dating someone? ||
* Abortion
* Politics
* Death Penalty
* None of these would.
||
|-
| In a certain light, couldn't being homeless be exciting? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Should adults be required by law to wear seatbelts when riding as passengers in automobiles? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you prefer it if fashion models were the same size and bodytype as the average citizen? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Jealousy: healthy or unhealthy, in the context of a relationship? ||
* Healthy
* Unhealthy
||
|-
| Would you object to someone bringing a young child along on a first date? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you like putting together jigsaw puzzles? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Which is worse: starving children or abused animals? ||
* Starving children.
* Abused animals.
* Neither, both are good.
* Neither, they are equally bad.
||
|-
| Could you be in a relationship with someone who had been previously sexually abused? ||
* Yes
* Yes - if that didn't affect our sex life.
* I'm Not Sure
* No
||
|-
| Do you look up lyrics on the internet for songs that you like? ||
* Often.
* Sometimes.
* Seldom.
* Never.
||
|-
| Consider the recent fictional movies you have watched. Which of the following aspects do you find most disturbing? ||
* Sex.
* Violence.
* Racial or cultural stereotyping.
* None of the above disturbs me.
||
|-
| Do you space out or daydream a lot? ||
* All the time
* Rarely / never
* Sometimes
||
|-
| Would you say your actions are guided more by your head or your heart? ||
* Head
* Heart
* Genitalia
||
|-
| Would you ever use paper plates just to avoid doing dishes? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you leave the lights on after leaving a room when they are no longer necessary? ||
* Always - I don't think about turning lights off.
* Usually - This isn't very important.
* Sometimes - I try to save energy but do forget.
* Rarely or never - That would be wasteful.
||
|-
| Would you ever consider having a friendship based primarily on sex, with no intentions for love, romance, or long-term commitment? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy provoking people just to get a response. ||
* Often.
* Sometimes.
* Never.
||
|-
| Do you read the dedications and introductions when you're reading a book? ||
* Yes, always or almost always
* Occasionally, if I'm interested
* No, I just get right to it
* I don't read / don't read books with introductions
||
|-
| How important is it that your partner be willing and able to participate in meaningful philosophical conversations? ||
* Extremely important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
||
|-
| Do you ever drink alcohol in order to lower your inhibitions with the opposite sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Does netspeak (e.g., afk, brb, How RU?, lol, rotfl, ttyl, etc.) bother you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Some of the time - It depends.
* I don't know.
||
|-
| Have you ever spent more than 8 hours straight playing video games? ||
* Yes
* No.
* Anyone who does is a loser.
||
|-
| Do you own a gun? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you okay with people who grow marijuana for their own personal use? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you think that the psychological differences between human males and females are better explained by nature or nurture? ||
* Nature.
* Nurture.
* The two play a nearly equal role.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Do you think drug use with your partner can be a romantic activity? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| When you offer criticism, how is it most often received? ||
* As constructive.
* As destructive.
* Some of both - It depends upon the situation.
* I don't offer criticism.
||
|-
| When you are feeling down or blue, which is most comforting to you? ||
* Food.
* Sex.
* Exercise.
* Music.
||
|-
| Would you consider performing anilingus on a partner who asked you to? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| If you had to guess, do you think humans will go extinct in the next 1000 years? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I don't know.
|-
| How much does physical attractiveness matter to you in a match? ||
* A lot
* A little
* Not at all
||
|-
| For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How often do you gamble? ||
* Often.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| How do you usually feel toward authority figures (teachers/instructors, police officers, etc.)? ||
* Grateful or appreciative
* Aggressive or angry
* Indifferent
* Sexually attracted
||
But SERIOUSLY Upset at the corrupted [[Jerkops]].
|-
| Imagine you have a partner who is able to provide financially for you and any children. Would you consider taking a stay-at-home role? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you ever pick food off of other people's plates? ||
* Yes, without asking.
* Yes, but only after asking.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you ever been married? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe in karma? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How often do you try new things (food, activities, music, whatever) that you've never tried before? ||
* Several times per week, or more.
* Several times per month.
* Several times per year.
* Rarely or never.
||
|-
| Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in school? ||
* Yes, students should hear both sides
* No, creationism has no place in schools
* No, evolution has no place in schools
||
|-
| What's the highest level of education you've completed? ||
* Graduate School
* College
* High School
* Junior High
||
|-
| Is there a point in a relationship where it can get "too serious"? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine you've been dating someone. After a year, they explain to you for the first time that they can see ghosts/spirits. How would you react? ||
* I'd immediately terminate the relationship.
* I'd be excited about the possibilities.
* I'd encourage a psychiatric evaluation.
* I'd compare notes because I can see them, too.
||
|-
| Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before actually having them? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| When it comes to art, do you prefer works that are abstract or representational? ||
* Abstract.
* Representational.
* I like both kinds equally.
* I'm not a big fan of art.
||
|-
| If you found out your partner was cheating on you, would you cheat on them in revenge? ||
* Yes, they have it coming!
* No, I'd confront them.
* No, I'd dump them on the spot.
* Maybe, if one of their friends is cute.
||
|-
| Which would you rather lose? ||
* the right to bear arms
* the right to vote
||
|-
| What haircolor, or shade, do you prefer? ||
* Dark (Black, Brown, Auburn)
* Light (Blonde, Light Brown, Red)
* Other (Neon, Obviously Dyed)
* I have no preference
||
|-
| Which of the following would you consider yourself? ||
* Neat Freak
* Clean, but can deal with a little mess
* Average
* Messy
||
|-
| How do you describe yourself politically? ||
* As a Republican
* As a Democrat
* As a an Independent/Something Else
* None of these / I'm not American
||
Moderate
|-
| How important is it that incoming messages on OkCupid come from people who have a high match percentage with you? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
||
|-
| Your family dog/cat is diagnosed with an illness, and the vet bill will be $2,000. Do you : ||
* Save Fluffy--to hell with the expense!
* Grudgingly pay the bill.
* Have Fluffy put down
||
|-
| How do you feel about people with past addictions? ||
* Completely uninterested
* Extremely hesitant
* A little hesitant
* Totally fine
||
|-
| How important is it to you that a potential partner continues to educate himself/herself as an adult? ||
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not at all important.
* Actually, this would be a turn-off.
||
It is one's choice to further educate.
|-
| If you were to be with one person for the rest of your life, which of the following would you fear most? ||
* Partner's unfaithfulness.
* Partner's eventual unattractiveness.
* Insufficient sex.
* Lack of communication.
||
|-
| Do animals have "souls" like humans do? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Other than when going to bed for the night, how often do you fall asleep while watching TV? ||
* Frequently.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
But I have it tuned to Music Choice Easy Listening.
|-
| When chatting with a potential friend/significant other online, is use of proper grammar and spelling important to you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| War. What is it good for? ||
* Absolutely nothing.
* Some things.
* Many things.
* Everything.
||
|-
| How trusting are you where it concerns your government? ||
* Completely.
* Somewhat.
* Not at all.
||
|-
| When cooking food in the microwave, do you often impatiently hit the cancel button within the last few seconds rather than waiting? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don't have/use a microwave
||
|-
| Have you smoked a cigarette in the last 6 months? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which is closest to your reaction to foul language? ||
* It doesn't bother me at all.
* It's ok as long as it isn't every other word.
* It bothers me a little.
* It bothers me a lot.
||
|-
| Do you laugh when somebody trips and falls? ||
* Yes, almost always
* No, almost never
* Occasionally
||
|-
| How would you describe your body? ||
* Slender
* Average
* Athletic
* Voluptuous
||
|-
| Goth chicks? ||
* Sexy
* Lame
* I don't know
||
|-
| Excluding childhood fights, have you ever punched someone in the face? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| What's your opinion of male crossdressers? ||
* [[Tomgirl Saga|I have no problem with them. You go girls!]]
* I respect them, but they still freak me out.
* Whatever they do in private is their business.
* I do not approve of them.
||
|-
| Did a parent or guardian ever actually wash your mouth out with soap? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Imagine you are put on hold while making a telephone call. A song you like comes on while you wait. Would you sing along? ||
* Yes, definitely.
* Probably.
* Probably not.
* No, definitely not.
||
|-
| When telling stories, do you like to exaggerate? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think you can tell how good someone is at sex by how they move on the dance floor? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you think a girl with hairy underarms is necessarily unattractive? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| In a relationship I like to discuss politics with my partner. ||
* All the time!
* Sure. I'm interested in sharing our beliefs.
* Sometimes. It depends.
* Hardly. Politics are boring or personal.
||
|-
| What is the longest you have gone without sleep? ||
* Less than 18 hours.
* 18 to 24 hours.
* 24 to 36 hours.
* More than 36 hours.
||
|-
| Do you play or have you ever played a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game? ||
* I enjoy playing them
* I'm a recovering addict - never again
* No, but I'd like to try one
* Not my type of thing / NO IDEA
||
|-
| Honestly, which do you do more of? ||
* Watch television
* Read
||
|-
| Do you know the first name of every person you've ever made out with? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Has Christianity made the world better or worse? ||
* Better
* Worse
* No opinion / Not sure
||
|-
| How important is art in your daily life? ||
* Very Important
* Somewhat Important
* Not Important
* I don't care
||
|-
| How do you feel about falling in love? ||
* I love it and want it very much
* I try to avoid it
* I like to just let it happen
* I'm indifferent / not sure
||
|-
| Which of the following would you be most disturbed to find in a 13-year-old child's room? ||
* Condoms.
* Illegal drugs.
* Pornography.
* Weapons.
||
|-
| During a romantic evening at your significant others' house, he or she puts on a slow song and asks you to dance. How would you respond? ||
* Very romantic! I'm up for it!
* I think its corny, but I'll do it anyway!
* Not my kinda thing.
* I'm not sure.
||
|-
| Sharing a toothbrush with your partner is… ||
* Utterly disgusting
* Okay, sometimes
* A sign of closeness
||
|-
| How do you generally feel about people who tend to hug others whom they've just met? ||
* More positive than negative.
* More negative than positive.
* Indifferent.
||
|-
| Do you work out a lot? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be? ||
* Love
* Wealth
* Expression
* Knowledge
||
|-
| Imagine you are at a social event and your partner says something you disagree with strongly. Which of the following would you most likely do? ||
* I'd support them even though I disagree.
* I'd just keep quiet.
* I'd politely disagree.
* I'd argue my point aggressively.
||
|-
| How often do you meditate? ||
* Frequently.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| Have you ever had a true one-night stand? (You met someone, had sex that night, and never contacted each other again.) ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you a 'double dipper'? In other words, do you ever take a bite of food and then dip it back into a shared sauce or dip? ||
* Yes, I double dip indiscriminately.
* Yes, but only with family or close friends.
* Yes, but only with a partner.
* No, never.
||
|-
| Have you ever blacked out from drunkenness? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If a significant other requested that you stop wearing antiperspirant or deodorant, is this something you would seriously consider? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I am already totally 'natural' in this way.
||
|-
| Suppose you're dating someone who seems to have long-term potential. You discover that they want to urinate on you during sex. Would you consider staying with this person? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex? ||
* Simple
* Complex
||
|-
| How often in conversation are you likely to use an exact quote from a movie, play, or TV show? ||
* [[Things Chris has ripped off|Once a day or more.]]
* Every few days or so.
* Once a week or less.
* I never do this or I no longer do this.
||
TV! We talk TV! You talk some TV?<ref>http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0003346/quotes</ref>
|-
| Would you date someone just for the sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you were to receive one month's salary as a gift, which of the following would come to mind first? ||
* Save it.
* Spend it.
* Pay off debt.
||
|-
| With respect to sex drive, which of the following has created problems in your prior relationships? ||
* Having a partner with a greater sex drive.
* Having a partner with a weaker sex drive.
* Both of the above.
* Neither of the above.
||
|-
| Pick the best date on this list: ||
* A really nice restaurant
* A really divey bar
* A day at the beach
||
|-
| Do you prefer to eat organic food? ||
* Yes, as much as possible
* I would, but it's too expensive
* Sometimes, if it's easy to get
* No / Don't Care
||
|-
| Does hanging out in an empty field, in the middle of no where, at 2am to watch a meteor shower sound like fun to you? ||
* Heck yeah! I'll bring the hot cocoa/coffee/tea.
* I've never done it but it sounds like fun.
* I could take it or leave it.
* Sounds like a complete waste of time.
||
|-
| Overall, do you think that what you do (or plan to do) for a living makes the world a better or worse place? ||
* Better.
* Worse.
* No impact.
* I neither work nor plan to.
||
|-
| Do you believe there is some unique human quality that separates us from animals? ||
* Yes, and it was given to us by God
* Yes, but it has nothing to do with God
* No, we are just animals
* I don't know
||
|-
| Is a tongue stud a turn-on? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you pose nude for a magazine? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
If I got paid to do it.
|-
| How important is it to you to have your own unique "thing" (like a weekly Girls' Night Out or Guys' Movie Night) that you don't share with your partner(s)? ||
* Very - I need some ME time to be happy
* Sort of - I need friends outside of my partner
* Not much - I like sharing stuff with my partner
* I'd prefer not to have exclusive things
||
|-
| While evaluating someone you are dating, do you find yourself placing much importance on how good of a parent you think they'll make? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Just a little.
||
|-
| Do you wish things like vampires, fairies, werewolves, ghosts, or something along those lines were real? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Specifically, my own [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] characters and my [[CWCVille|city of Cwcville]].
|-
| Have you ever formed an opinion about a stranger in a grocery store, based primarily on the items he or she is buying? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is it possible for your partner to be too ambitious? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is being "in-style" with regards to fashion important to you? ||
* Yes, Extremely
* [[Chris and fashion|Yeah, sometimes]]
* Not really
* No Way!
||
|-
| How do you feel about government-subsidized food programs (free lunch, food stamps, etc.)? ||
* No problem
* It's okay, if it is not abused
* Okay for short amounts of time
* Never – Get a job
||
|-
| Do you believe in fate? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Hypothetically, do you think you would be good at being a porn star? ||
* [[Chris and ego|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Personally, is sex in a public place hotter than indoor sex? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure / Wouldn't know
||
|-
| Do you hang out with the same group of friends almost every time you go out? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Can two people fall in love without ever meeting in person? ||
* Yes.
* [[Blanca Weiss|No.]]
||
|-
| Where did you graduate in your high school class? ||
* Top 5%
* Top 20%
* [[Honor Roll|Top Half]]
* Bottom Half
||
|-
| Would you prefer to live in an old house with character and history or a brand spanking new one? ||
* Old
* New
||
|-
| If I saw someone checking out my significant other, I'd feel: ||
* flattered / proud
* protective / concerned
* unchanged
||
|-
| Would you ever record a video of yourself having sex? ||
* Yes
* [[For Julie's Eyes Only|No]]
||
|-
| Have you ever intentionally left a book in a public place, hoping someone else would pick it up and read it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you more often get angry with yourself or with other people? ||
* Myself
* [[Chris and Anger|Others]]
||
|-
| Do you like to go clubbing? ||
* Yes, I prefer to go alone.
* Yes, I prefer to go with a date.
* Yes, I prefer to go with friends.
* No. I do not like to go clubbing.
||
|-
| Would you consider living with a partner who does not want any pets? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to adopt a child? ||
* Yes
* No
* I only want adopted children.
* I don't want children.
||
|-
| You're in a cabin and it is freezing cold. If you don't start a fire soon, you will surely die. You only have two flammable items for kindling. Which do you use to get the fire going? ||
* My country's flag.
* The only copy of a great and important book.
* Neither - I'd rather freeze to death.
* Both - I have no hesitation burning either.
||
|-
| How do you feel about age differences in relationships? ||
* I prefer someone close to my own age
* I prefer someone older
* [[Pedofork|I prefer someone younger]]
* Doesn't matter to me
||
|-
| Are you smarter than most people? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you, or have you ever, read a text book or technical manual for fun/pleasure? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| You are more romantic than most people you know. ||
* True
* False
||
|-
| Have you ever gone white water rafting? ||
* Yes, I love it
* No, never
* Yes, but never again
* No, but I'd like to
||
|-
| Once you're intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex? ||
* Every day
* About every other day
* Once or twice a week
* A few times a month or less
||
|-
| Do you have names planned out for future children? ||
* [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Yes.]]
* No.
* No, and I'm not planning on any future children.
||
|-
| If you hooked up with someone and a pregnancy unexpectedly resulted, would you feel that you should get married? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you own any shiny or form-fitting clothing? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever cosplayed? (Dressed up as a comic/anime character) ||
* [[Chris and cosplaying|Yes]]
* No, and I wouldn't be interested
* No, but it sounds cool
||
|-
| How do you feel about the Pro-Ana movement (anorexic women forming support groups to encourage each other in anorexia)? ||
* It horrifies me
* I guess they can do what they want if they're 18
* People have an unqualified right to their own body
* I'm not sure
||
I would support it if it was towards Recovery, not the sad act.
|-
| Some religions are more correct than others. ||
* True
* False
||
|-
| Which best represents your opinion of same-sex relationships? ||
* Girl-on-girl is okay, but guy-on-guy is wrong.
* Guy-on-guy is okay, but girl-on-girl is wrong.
* All same-sex relationships are wrong.
* It's all fine by me.
||
|-
| Do you masturbate? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are you an intellectual? In the context of this question, intellectual means someone who loves learning, often for its own sake. ||
* Yes
* No
* I find learning boring
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who is a full-time student? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you like holding hands? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like traveling? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think it is possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid moral framework by which to live? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Is interracial marriage a bad idea? ||
* Yes
* No
||
It is good for some people, but I would not date a black woman
|-
| Have you ever had an abortion/requested a mate to get one? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you like fireplaces? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* I don't know.
||
|-
| Are you a Buddhist? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Is it okay to live with someone you're dating, even before you're engaged or married? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you know what a 'safeword' is, in a sexual context? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you have any "extreme" piercings (this includes anything other than ears, nose, or navel)? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex? ||
* Yes, and I enjoyed myself.
* Yes, and I did not enjoy myself.
* No, and I would never.
* No, but I would like to.
||
[''After Chris came out as transgender, he added:''] I am a Lesbian Identified Male, Teansgender Tomgirl, and I am proud of myself for that.
|-
| Do you mind getting really dirty working or playing outside? ||
* No - I'm never clean!
* No - I clean up well.
* Yes - I hate dirt!
||
|-
| Are you totally comfortable being naked around your lover, not just during sex? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Did America really put a man on the moon? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If a close friend doesn't call you for a week, do you start worrying that he hates you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Can you change a tire on your own? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone a LOT more sexually experienced than you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you believe that regular sex is necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you kiss on the first date? ||
* Under the right circumstance, Yes
* Never
* Always
||
I would let it be her choice.
|-
| Do you hunt animals for sport? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you prefer to date someone way dumber than you, or way smarter? ||
* Way smarter
* Way dumber
||
|-
| Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you? ||
* Yes
* [[Third date|No]]
||
|-
| Have you ever lead someone on romantically just for fun? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Are you Jewish? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you feel nauseated at the sight of blood? ||
* Yes, if it's someone else's.
* Yes, if it's mine.
* Yes to both above.
* No
||
|-
| Would you be willing to go shopping for sex toys? ||
* [[Sex toys|Yes.]]
* No.
* Online only.
||
|-
| Have you ever had unwanted hair removed by waxing? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is: ||
* Acceptable.
* Not acceptable.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who doesn't own a car? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you think physical love is necessary for happiness in life? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Touching/holding hands minimal
|-
| If a potential partner has children living in their home, would it be important for you to meet them before you committed yourself to a relationship? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| In a conversation are you usually... ||
* Listening
* Waiting to speak
||
|-
| Is it okay for a girl to talk openly about her sexual exploits? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Some friends invite you to go camping where there are no showers, no toilets, and no services. The only luxuries would be those you could carry in a pack on your back. Do you go? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you date someone who was looking for true love - but no sex, at all, ever? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Does someone who refuses to take care of their body (e.g. diet, cleanliness, etc.) have the right to complain about not getting laid? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don't want to answer this question
||
|-
| People who throw cigarette butts out of their car window... ||
* Are not doing any real harm
* Are being insensitive and/or rude
||
|-
| How does having sex with someone usually affect your emotional attachment to them? ||
* I become more attached.
* I become less attached.
* I told you. I'm a virgin.
* It stays about the same.
||
|-
| Who do you think was smartest on this list? ||
* Einstein
* Shakespeare
* Mozart
* Jesus
||
|-
| Agree or disagree: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (or the one)." ||
* Agree
* Disagree
||
|-
| If someone described themselves as 'just an average guy/gal', how would this most likely affect your opinion of them? ||
* Positively.
* Negatively.
* It would depend on other factors.
||
|-
| How many children would you ideally like to have? ||
* None
* 1-2
* 3-4
* 5 or more!
||
|-
| Would you date someone who still lives with his/her parents? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How should people spell "women"? ||
* Women
* Womyn, or other feminist spelling revisions
* I don't care either way
||
|-
| Do humans and modern primates (apes, chimps, etc) share a common evolutionary ancestor? ||
* Yes
* No
* Unsure
||
|-
| You have a one-time opportunity to use a machine with a numbered dial, which, when turned, adds that number to both your IQ and your weight. What do you do? ||
* Turn it up -- I'd love the extra smarts.
* Turn it down -- I'm smart 'n' chunky
* Don't touch that dial -- I like myself as is.
||
|-
| Have you ever tried any sexual roleplaying, such as student/teacher or patient/nurse? ||
* All the time. It really turns me on!
* Yes, on occasion. I have to be in the mood.
* No, but it sounds interesting.
* No, and it isn't going to happen. Ever.
||
|-
| How often are you open with your feelings? ||
* Always
* Usually
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| Do you like watching foreign movies with subtitles? ||
* Yes
* No
* Can’t answer without a subtitle
||
|-
| If one of your potential matches were overweight, would that be a dealbreaker? ||
* Yes, even if they were slightly overweight.
* Yes, but only if they were obese.
* No.
* No, in fact I prefer overweight people.
||
|-
| Would you do a striptease for your mate? ||
* [[Little Tomboy Blue|Yes]]
* No
* Maybe / Unsure
||
|-
| In your current music collection, do you have more independent artists or big name superstars? ||
* Independent
* Big name superstars
* A mix of both
* I don't have a music collection
||
|-
| Is it ever okay to [[Death threats|kill another human being]]? ||
* Yes.
* Yes, to save your own life.
* Yes, if the government orders it.
* Never.
||
|-
| Do you remember dreams that you had as a child? ||
* Yes, only good dreams.
* Yes, only bad dreams.
* [[Dreams|Yes, both good and bad dreams.]]
* No.
||
|-
| How frequently do you drink alcohol? ||
* Very often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
||
|-
| If you were going away for two weeks, how far in advance would you start packing? ||
* I would pack at least two days before I leave.
* I would pack on the day before I leave.
* I would pack on the same day I leave.
* I would not pack at all.
||
|-
| Do you have any credit cards? ||
* [[Chris and money#Credit cards|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Do you like horror movies? ||
* [[Saw|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| Before people find out your real age, what do they usually assume? ||
* That I'm younger than I really am.
* That I'm older than I really am.
* They are usually very close.
* I haven't noticed a pattern.
||
|-
| Psychic tells Joe he's going to have a car accident.... Joe does. What most likely happened? ||
* Psychic really did see the event ahead of time
* Joe believed so much he made/allowed it happen
* Chance: Car accidents aren't so rare
||
|-
| Is it okay to search your child's room, to make sure they aren't doing anything you don't want them to do? ||
* Yes.
* Only with probable cause.
* No, their right to privacy is too important.
||
|-
| Boardgames? ||
* I love boardgames, let's go play.
* Boardgames are okay, I guess.
* I'd rather do something else.
||
|-
| You just prepared some food in your kitchen and made a mess. Do you: ||
* Clean up immediately.
* Clean up immediately after eating.
* Postpone the cleanup for later.
* Not cleanup at all.
||
|-
| What kind of shape are you in? ||
* Great
* [[Chris and health|Average]]
* Shitty
||
Physically: Average; Mentally: [[Stress|Stressed]]; Emotionally: Fair to Good.
|-
| What do you usually wear when you sleep? ||
* Pajamas.
* Underwear.
* Nothing.
* Something else.
||
|-
| Would you consider being in a relationship with someone who has had homosexual sex? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure / Depends how serious it was
||
Only with Straight, Lesbians or Bi-Women.
|-
| Do you usually add salt to your meals? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Are your birth parents divorced? ||
* Yes
* No
* They were never married!
||
|-
| What is your position on hunting? ||
* I approve of hunting for food and sport.
* I approve of hunting for food only.
* I do not approve of hunting at all.
||
|-
| Does the car someone drives say a lot about their character? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Have you used psychedelic drugs (LSD, mescaline, peyote, etc.) or would you like to? ||
* Yes, I have used psychedelic drugs.
* No, I have not used them and I would not try them.
* No, I have not used them but I would try them.
||
|-
| How much does the sound of a person's voice affect their attractiveness to you? ||
* A lot
* [[BlueSpike#Julie|A little]]
* Not at all
||
|-
| Is it easy for you to achieve orgasm? ||
* Yes, with skill and sometimes patience
* Yes, any time the wind picks up
* No, and I find it somewhat frustrating
* No, but don't worry, I'm enjoying myself
||
|-
| How often do you do things out of spite? ||
* Very often.
* Sometimes.
* Rarely.
* Never.
||
|-
| In a serious relationship, do you feel it's important to keep your significant other informed of the details of your day-to-day life? ||
* Yes
* No
* Some
* I don't do serious relationships
||
|-
| Are you fetish-friendly? ||
* Bring out the toys!
* Never tried it, but I'm open-minded.
* Not sure/don't know what they really are.
* Ew!
||
|-
| How do you feel about documentaries? ||
* Yay!
* Okay
* NO.
||
|-
| Would you ever consider having sex in a church? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| How often do you use profane language? ||
* Never
* Once in a while
* Often
* Almost always
||
Mostly when I am feeling really stressed.
|-
| Do you believe that your vote makes a difference? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Other than as an end to suffering, have you ever truly hoped that another person would die? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| What is your opinion on freckles? ||
* They turn me on. The more the merrier!
* They turn me off. Give me flawless skin, please.
* I could take them or leave them.
* A light dusting can be cute.
||
|-
| Are you accepting of other people? ||
* I'm highly benevolent
* I'm selective
* I'm fussy
* I'm a hard-nosed bastard
||
|-
| Have you ever been cruel to another person? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Do you enjoy reading and/or watching Shakespearean plays? ||
* Yes
* No / Not really / Only for school
||
|-
| Who would you rather compete against? ||
* Someone less skilled than yourself
* Someone evenly matched
* Someone more skilled
||
|-
| Are you, or have you ever been, in a band? (A solo act is fine, too. Don't count school bands.) ||
* Yes
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|No]]
||
|-
| If a government were [[Kick the Autistic|brutally oppressing you]], what would you do? ||
* Organize peaceful resistance
* Join the oppressive government
* Move/escape away to a benign power
* Break out the .50 sniper rounds
||
|-
| Do you enjoy discussing politics? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| How often do you skimp on sleep during the week and "catch up" on it during the weekend? ||
* Routinely.
* Somewhat often.
* Only under special circumstances.
* Never.
||
Not sure
|-
| Could you date someone who does drugs? ||
* No
* Yes, but only soft stuff like marijuana
* Yes
||
|-
| Have you ever attended a political demonstration or convention? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| If you were out to dinner and your date was a vegetarian would you still order meat? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure/ I would ask them first
* I'm vegetarian too
||
|-
| Do spelling mistakes annoy you? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you ever created a piece of art for a friend, just because you were thinking of them? ||
* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| What is too big of an age gap between you and a partner? ||
* 5 years
* 10 years
* 15 years
* Age is just a number
||
|-
| Do you write creatively (novels, plays, poetry, and so forth)? ||
* [[Chris and writing#Chris as a poet and lyricist|Call me Shakespeare]]
* Yes; only for assignments, though
* Not really / no
||
|-
| How often do you brush your teeth? ||
* Twice or more a day
* Once a day
* Only on days I feel like it
* Rarely / never
||
|-
| Do you talk in your sleep? ||
* Yes / Sometimes
* No / Very Rarely
* I'm Not Sure / Maybe
||
|-
| In the line “Wherefore art thou Romeo?,” what does “wherefore” mean? ||
* Why
* Where
* How
* Who cares / wtf?
||
|-
| When facing a complicated situation, can you easily put yourself in another person's shoes and consequently see things from his or her point of view? ||
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
||
It would take a little while for me, but I do have empathy.
|-
| Would you enjoy going to an all night dance party? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Maybe
|-
| Do people that you've dated/tried to date ever tell you that you're just too "nice"? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Could you live without the Internet? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Your date for the evening surprises you with a pair of opera tickets. You ||
* ask whether Domingo or Carreras is singing.
* say 'I've never been before, but fun!'
* go along to avoid hurting your date's feelings.
* develop a sudden, severe case of the flu.
||
|-
| When you've just been to a great movie, read a great book, or listened to a great album, how would you rather discuss it? ||
* Recommend it to someone who isn't familiar with it
* Analyze it with someone who is familiar with it.
* I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself.
||
|-
| Which are you better at remembering, names or faces? ||
* Names.
* Faces.
||
|-
| Do you think angry or pornographic music lyrics should be kept, by law, away from kids? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Which makes for a better relationship? ||
* Passion
* Dedication
||
|-
| Would you rather… ||
* be tied up during sex
* do the tying
* avoid bondage all together
||
|-
| Which is your favorite season? ||
* Summer.
* Fall.
* Winter.
* Spring.
||
|-
| How far would you be willing to travel to meet a person of interest who also has a high match percentage for you here on OkCupid? ||
* Up to 20 miles (32km)
* 21 to 100 miles (33 to 161km)
* 101 to 500 miles (162 to 805km)
* More than 500 miles (805km)
||
|-
| If you're in a relationship you expect will last for the rest of your life, is it important to you that it be the most satisfying sexual relationship you have ever had? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that scientists create a new drug. When swallowed as a pill, it will completely and permanently eliminate feelings of guilt for prior events. Testing reveals that there are no harmful medical side effects. How should this pill be distributed? ||
* Over the counter to anyone who wants it.
* By doctor's prescription only.
* It should not be distributed at all.
||
The Trolls have tricked and blackmailed me into doing out-of-my-character deeds I am not at all proud of, and I would like to feel a Lot Less Stress from them if I can forget them.
|-
| Are you Christian? ||
* [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Yes]]
* No
||
|-
| If I had to choose among the following for an ideal romantic partner, I'd choose: ||
* Someone attractive and kind.
* Someone smart and kind.
* Someone attractive and smart.
||
|-
| You win a contest for a choice between two million dollar homes, you take... ||
* Urban penthouse
* Tropical beachhouse
||

|}

==LevelUpQueen profile==
{{main|OkCupid#LevelUpQueen profile}}

In late 2014, after Chris came out as a "lesbian identified male," he answered over 500 more questions. An incomplete sample is provided here. As in the previous table, Chris's answers are marked with an underline.

{| class="wikitable"
! Question
! Answers
! Explanation

|-
| Is it equally bad for a man and woman to cheat on a partner? ||
* Yes
* No, it is worse if a man cheats.
* No, it is worse if a woman cheats.
* I have no problem with cheating either way.
||
I would rather be mutually honest with my wife in the matter.
|-
| Are nudity and pornography the same thing? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
nudity is the person being naked; pornography is the IMAGE OR VIDEO content of naked people. You would be an idiot for thinking the two to be the same.
|-
| Would you sabotage contraceptives to have kids even though your mate doesn't want kids? ||
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
||
That is dishonest!
|-
| Do you think partial birth abortion should be banned? ||
* Yes, absolutely
* No, absolutely not
* I’m Not Sure
* I’m conflicted/I don’t know enough to say.
||
Partial Birth? What, the head isn't enough, you want the child to be a quadriplegic?
|-
| Does it bother you when people TyP3 LiK3 ThIS oN pUrPoSe? (Be honest.) ||
* Yes
* No
||
It's a good play on words, but too much of it would be annoying.
|-
| Would you ever film a sexual encounter without your partner knowing? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
I would rather have her consent first.
|-
| Manners are: ||
* Important
* Not very important
* I fart on this question
||
But not mandatory under some circumstances.
|-
| While walking down the street, you see an amazingly attractive member of the gender of your preference. He/she is completely naked and floating three feet in the air. Which do you find more intriguing? ||
* The fact that he/she is naked
* The fact that he/she is defying gravity
||
What the hell?
|-
| When would you prefer to settle a disagreement? ||
* Now.
* Later.
* Never.
||
I would have to think it over first.
|-
| Is it's better to have an open-relationship because there'll be cheating in monogamous relationships anyways. ||
True
False
||
I do not believe it as an inevitable, but I do feel an open relationship is healthy for the happiness of my woman partner, especially if she feels need to take a break from me for a while, or if I am unable to please her at the time. As long as we were mutually honest with each other. I would still be loyal and supportive to her.
|-
| Should sex education be given to children under 15? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
With [[Dating Education|DATING EDUCATION]]!!!!!!!!!!!!
|-
| If you were otherwise willing to enter into a marriage or life-long partnership, would you consider signing a prenuptial or equivalent agreement at the request of your partner? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
I would want to read it first.
|-
| If you had an eighteen year old son or daughter who wanted to become an adult film star, how would you react? ||
* I would encourage him or her
* I would discourage him or her.
* I would encourage my son, but not my daughter.
* I would encourage my daughter, but not my son.
||
But if that's what they feel of real want or need, I will support them.
|-
| Should it be socially acceptable for women have the choice/right to be topless in any area where it is ok for men to be topless? ||
* Yes
* No
||
[[Brassieres For Males|I sincerely wish it was not acceptable for Men to be topless]] in the first place. UGH!!!
|-
| Gay marriage—should it be legal? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you expect your partner to back you up in a dispute if you're in the wrong? ||
* Yes
* No
||
That would be up to my her.
|-
| You go on a date with someone, and during the date you say you would like to go out again. The next day you change your mind. How do you let them know? ||
* Call them and tell them you’ve changed your mind
* Wait for them to call you, and then tell them
* Ignore all of their calls/e-mails/faxes to you
* Keep seeing them, but half-heartedly
||
I would rather be honest.
|-
| Could you live a life full of traveling? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I'm not certain.
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who's had a gender change? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
I have Image Googled females who went under the surgery; I did not like the results at all.
|-
| "The customer is always right." ||
* True.
* False.
||
They may make a poor choice by mistake.
|-
| If you were going to have a daughter, which sexual orientation would you hope she would have? ||
* Lesbian.
* Straight.
* Bisexual.
* It wouldn’t matter to me at all.
||
|-
| If you received a virus warning by email, would you forward it to friends or family? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
It might be a false alarm.
|-
| Do you believe in reincarnation? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
It is possible, but I'm not sure.
|-
| How do you take care of household pests (cockroaches, spiders and the like)? ||
* Squish!
* Careful Relocation Outside
* I’m Not Sure
* Live and Let Live
||
I end up flushing stink bugs.
|-
| If you really clicked with someone online and were meeting them in person, how would you greet them when you met them? ||
* Give them a friendly hug
||
|-
| How often do you read? ||
* Daily – reading is a major part of my life
* Often – I read several books a year
* School – I read what I am assigned
* Rarely – Books are not really my thing
||
I'm reading something any day of the week; there are a lot of words in everything.
|-
| Are attractive people generally bad persons? ||
* Yes
* No
* What?
||
Not all of them are bad
|-
| Could you date someone with abnormal amounts of body hair? ||
* Yes
* No
* I don’t know
||
|-
| Are you a workaholic? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
I don't think so.
|-
| Do you ever use the word "gay" as an insult or pejorative? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I really detest the misuse of the word being redefined as "Stupid".
|-
| Your lover doesn't like one of your friends! You have to choose! ||
* Lose your friend
* Lose your lover
* I’m Not Sure
||
Depend on how close a friend we're talking about.
|-
| When fooling around with someone, do you sometimes have sexual fantasies about other people? ||
* Yes
* No
||
I am not sure.
|-
| Divide your age by 2. Have you had sex with at least that many people? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Do you approve of public nudity? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
Eh, Whatever.
|-
| If I saw someone do something that deeply offended me or was illegal, I would: ||
* Confront the person.
||
|-
| Do you feel comfortable in an educational or academic environment? ||
* I love it; I'd possibly make teaching a career
||
|-
| Toilet Seat, up or down? ||
* Up.
* Down.
* Whatever my partner wishes.
* Either is fine with me.
||
|-
| When a relationship ends, what's the best thing to do? ||
* Go your separate ways
||
|-
| Does your ideal schedule involve staying up very late at night and sleeping during the day? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Not ideally, my internal [[biological clock]] is fickle.
|-
| Would you consider being part of a committed polyamorous relationship (i.e., three or more people but no sex outside the group)? ||
* Yes, I like that type of polygamy.
* I could be convinced by the right people
* I am commited to total monogamy
* I have open relationships only
||
|-
| Which is your preferred communications medium for long-distance relationships? ||
* Voice/video
* Chat/email
* Other
* I don’t do long-distance relationships
||
But I would not do L.D. Relationships.
|-
| Are you narcissistic? ||
* Completely!
* Quite a bit
* A tiny bit
* Not at all
||
|-
| My [[hair]] is usually... ||
* Very well groomed.
* Given a good combing.
* Intentionally unruly or unkempt.
* Left untouched.
||
|-
| How would you react if someone IM'd you and quickly started talking about sex? ||
* Positively.
* Negatively.
* Indifferently.
||
I would be shocked mildly at first
|-
| Have you ever tasted your own sexual fluids? ||
* Yes
* No, and I would never
* No, but I would
||
[[recycling|It tasted like chicken (grilled)]].
|-
| What is your opinion about softcore pornography magazines such as Playboy and Playgirl? ||
* Shows the beauty of the human body
* Degrading to the models
* Doesn’t matter to me
||
The women are portrayed in a good photographic light.
|-
| Genital piercings… ||
* Make me hot
* Ouch, no thanks.
* [[Unclit|No opinion/Not sure]]
||
|-
| Why do you dress the way you do? ||
* [[Chris and Fashion|It’s a way to expressing who I am]]
* I want to look good in the eyes of others
* I don’t think about it much, I just wear whatever
* Someone else buys/picks out what I wear
||
|-
| Is it okay for a guy to talk openly about his sexual exploits? ||
* Yes
* No
||
If they felt comfortable talking about it, or the relationship is open.
|-
| If a police officer is found guilty of a crime, do you believe the punishment should be more or less severe than for the average citizen? ||
* More severe.
* Less severe.
* Equally severe.
||
Punish the damned corrupted [[Jerkops]]!
|-
| Tongue rings - Hot or Not? ||
* Hot.
* Not.
||
But it does good for [[Mia Hamm|blow jobs]].
|-
| When judging people, are you harsher on them than you would be on yourself? ||
* No, I use the same standards as for myself.
||
|-
| Are you comfortable with using the toilet while your partner is in the bathroom with you or being in the bathroom while he or she is using the toilet? ||
* No way! I like my privacy.
||
|-
| Would you wear your partner's underclothing if they wanted you to? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Imagine that you live in a place where public nudity is not only legal, but also socially acceptable. Assuming that the climate is favorable, how often would you be totally naked in public? ||
* All of the time.
* Frequently.
* Occasionally.
* Never.
||
I would still wear socks and shoes.
|-
| How would you feel about dating someone who left their long-time partner heartbroken and ruined to be with you? ||
* What’s the problem?
* I’d accept it, but not trust them fully.
* No way!
* I don’t know
||
How Dare They?!
|-
| If you could have one wish granted, who'd benefit most from it? ||
* I would.
||
|-
| Are you scared of the future? ||
* Yes, a lot
* Yes, a little
* No, not really
* No, not at all
||
|-
| Can you think of someone that you truly hate, not just severely dislike? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Could you date someone androgynous (neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine)? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
As long as the person has [[China|the right parts]] for their half of the reproduction.
|-
| Do you believe there are only two genders? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
|-
| Do you think you basically conform to stereotypes about whatever sex you were born into? ||
* Varies from day to day
||
|-
| How well do you handle criticism? ||
* Not that well
||
|-
| For the right person, how long do you think that you could sustain a long-distance relationship? ||
* I couldn't do one, period.
||
|-
| Do you think head games are unavoidable, even in the healthiest of relationships? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
The [[Chris and Religion|higher force messes with everyone's heads]], and we all have Random Access Memory in our Biological Computers, so it can pop up even at random.
|-
| Do you use the word "ain't" in everyday conversation? ||
* Yes
* No
||
|-
| Have you experienced mental illness? ||
* Yes – severely
* [[autism|Yes – low grade]]
* No
* I’m not sure
||
|-
| If it were possible to change your gender instantly, painlessly, reversibly, and for free, would you? ||
* [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| Do you have enough savings and investments to comfortably survive several months of unemployment? ||
* [[Chris and money|Usually yes, but not right now]]
||
|-
| Would you consider dating someone who confers on relationship decisions with an [[Sonichu (character)|invisible friend]] whom they've had since childhood? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Should public [[mass debating|masturbation]] be considered a crime? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
|-
| Would you prefer a daughter or a son? ||
* [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Daughter]]
* [[Reginald Chandler|Son]]
* Indifferent
* Neither
||
|-
| Imagine that you are in an uncommitted relationship with someone you have grown to deeply care about. They begin to date someone else who seems to make them happier than you do. Which would you do? ||
* Bow out.
* Try harder to win their love.
* Continue as before.
||
My relationship would be open, and I would want her to be happy, as long as she was honest with me.
|-
| Do you like loud concerts? ||
* Yes
* No
||
Really depends on how loud; I prefer Not eardrum bustingly loud
|-
| Let's say you have recently met a new potential significant other. How do you feel about the "Don't call more than every other day" rule? ||
* I would always follow it.
* I would follow it some of the time.
* I would never follow it.
||
|-
| Are you more attracted to virgins? ||
* Yes
* No
* I AM a virgin
||
But then again, how can I tell the difference anyway.
|-
| How long does it take to know truly and understand a person you're dating? ||
* Weeks
* Months
* Years
* Who really knows anyone?
||
|-
| Is it wrong to sleep in a bed/cuddle with a friend (of the sex you're attracted to) when you're in an exclusive relationship with someone else? ||
* Yes, it’s wrong
* No, it’s not wrong
* Unsure/maybe
||
My relationship is open and I would have been honest with my wife.
|-
| A man is walking down the street and is covered with what appears to be someone's blood. Which would be closest to your response? ||
* Call the authorities.
* Confront him.
* Do nothing other than avoid him.
* Ask him if he needs help.
||
|-
| Would you be willing to date a married couple? ||
* Sure
* Maybe
* No
||
|-
| Suppose a close friend's partner is very attractive and thinks you're attractive, too. If you could enjoy a few hours of sex with them and your friend would never find out about it, would you do it? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe.
||
I would rather be honest with the friend first.
|-
| Overall, do you think men should act more like women, or women should act more like men? ||
* Women need to learn to act like men.
* Men need to learn to act like women.
* No one should change.
* The premise of this question angers me.
||
|-
| How soon would you meet your significant other's parents? ||
* Right Away!
||
It is up to her.
|-
| Do you feel it is necessary to have a significant other at all times in your life? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
||
It would make me feel better, but she would be free in our open relationship.
|-
| Approximately how many hours per week do you dedicate to spiritual activity? ||
* Zero.
* One hour or less.
* One to four hours.
* More than four hours.
||
I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping.
|-
| Do you have rhythm (at least enough to find the beat of a song)? ||
* Yes
* No
* [[Chris and music|I think so, but people tell me otherwise]]
||
|-
| Are you aware of the existence of any nude photos of yourself on the Internet? ||
* [[Nudes|Yes.]]
* No.
||
|-
| How would you describe your emotional diversity? ||
* I get extremely happy but rarely depressed
* I get extremely depressed and I’m rarely happy
* I don’t feel much of either
* I feel both often
||
It takes a lot of that something true, honest, caring and special to turn me around and keep me happy more often.
|-
| Could you date [[Barb|someone who never, ever, threw anything away]]? ||
* Yes, junk is cool
* No
* I don’t know
||
|-
| Would you date someone, knowing that they had a VERY close family member (parent, sibling) who was openly gay? ||
* Yes
* No
* I’m Not Sure
* If they didn’t flaunt it, it would be all right.
||
|-
| Assume you have a homosexual friend who is the same gender as you. Would it bother you if they hugged you? ||
* Yes.
* No.
* Only if I thought the hug was more than friendly.
||
That's talking about [[JERKS|Males]] hugging me; I would feel bothered if a male hugged me.
|-
| Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality and whether it was different from what you first assumed? ||
* Yes, and it changed.
* Yes, but it did not change.
* No.
||
|-
| On average, how many [[McDonald's|fast food]] meals do you eat in a week. ||
* 1 or less.
* 2-4
* 6-9
* 10 or more.
||
|-
| Imagine that you come home to find a partner pouring red wine all over a stranger's naked body and then licking it off. Which, if any of the following, would bother you most? ||
* The spilled wine.
* The cheating.
* The fact that I was not invited to join in.
* Actually, this would not bother me.
||
My relationship would be open, but I would still feel shock form the surprise.
|-
| "I don't lie, I just don't say all that I could!" Is this the same as lying? ||
* No, but it's close.
||
It's holding back the truth
|-
| Do you stand outside the bathroom door and talk to people while theyre taking care of business? ||
* Only if its urgent.
||
Knock First
|-
| Do you think safe sex should be taught in schools? ||
* Yes.
* No.
||
And [[Dating Education|DATING EDUCATION]]!!!!!!!!!!!'
|}

==Sources==
<references/>

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Regina e-mails

2025-12-12T15:42:05Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Troll}}
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|What Chris probably believed Regina looked like]]
[[File:Recession.jpg|right|thumb|In the Regina e-mails, Chris comments on the economic recession.]]

'''Regina Novakova''' was a [[Molvanîa|Czech]] student studying abroad at [[UVA]]. She had her father's help to purchase [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s [[online]] over [[eBay]] and the two soon began communication regarding the transaction.

Unfortunately for Regina, Chris characteristically presumed she was romantically interested in him, and tried to pursue a relationship. However, the tone eventually shifted and Chris relapsed into his usual lazy self and discontinued all contact.

These emails take place from 25 [[September 2009|September]] to early [[October 2009]], right around the time [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] was [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_9th,_2009|thought to be battling AIDS]], and also in the midst of the whole [[Gregg Mays]] thing.

==Correspondence==
====First contact====
{{EmailReply|My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I was just in touch with your father, [[Wikipedia:Rorschach (comics)|Walter Kovacs]], and he has informed me that I will be exchanging the business of him buying the two Guitars from me on eBay with you. The total amount due is 110.99, cash only if picking up in person, please. He was unsure of your phone number, if you have one, but if you have one, you may call me back at 434-760-0848.

What is your name, if I may ask? And he says you are going to a university here in Virginia; are you going to [[University of Virginia|UVA]] in [[Charlottesville]]?

I await your call or reply.

Have a nice day.
Stay Safe,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

====Addendum to first contact====
{{EmailReply|Upon personal pick-up, the total without shipping is 91.99}}
====Regina appears====
{{Email|Hey!!!!

You caught me at the perfect time!! I was just checking my emails before going out!

Yeah, he doesn't know my phone number cause I don't have one yet :( I just moved here from [[Molvanîa|the Czech republic]] as a foreign student and I haven't got a cell phone yet. We've been communicating by Skype. It's a nightmare!!!! I want to get a contract but I have to get all this extra visa stuff sorted out!

I am totally going to UVA! BA in philosophy! It looks hard but I am up to the challenge.

My name is Regina by the way. I see from your email that your name is Christian! That's totally cool cause my brother's name is Christian. But in Czech we spell it Kristian.

So I'll get my dad to wire me the money. I am pretty busy sorting out official stuff and meeting new people. Is it possible we can set up a meet in a week or so? Is that too late? I really hope not! Thanks by the way!!!!

If I can get this cell nightmare worked out I will send you the number ASAP!!

Have a great day!!!!!
Regina}}

====Chris the philosopher====
[[Image:ECP_00015.jpg|thumb|Chris attached this image. It may as well have served as a warning.]]
{{EmailReply|It is nice to make your acquaintance, Regina. A meeting in a week is good. It is so cool you are going to UVA, because it is only about half to a full hour from my house in [[Ruckersville]], North of UVA up [[Wikipedia:U.S. Route 29|29]].

I have talked on Skype before, it can be a pain sometimes with [[Autism|miscommunications]] and the fees to call a phone number sometimes. At least it is one way to be in talking touch.

I went to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], where I got an Associates Degree and a Certificate in [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] in [[2006]]. I would use the computer program to design 3D rendered models of mechanical parts and buildings. I even finished my final CADD class with a bang designing a [[CWCville Mall|Whole Shopping Mall]], Two Stories and a [[Mayor's Office]] on the second floor looking over the front entrance. It is huge. :)

I sometimes have [[CWCFlyingElephants|philosophical thoughts]], although I'm not all that knowledgeable in philosophy, perhaps you can inform me about it, even as your own review for your tests/exams.

I look forward to talking with you more and [[Sex|meeting you]]. Please tell me more about yourself in your next message, and I will tell you more as well. Also, I've attached a current photo of myself to this e-mail.

TTYL. :)
Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====About Regina====
{{Email|About me? Well, I like [[Sonichu's Edge|running]], [[video games]] and [[music]]. But I really don't have much time for them. I spent a lot of time working in my father's company in the past. He used to get me to help him with [[English]]. He is learning but he still isn't very good yet, as you might have noticed. But now I have come to America to study! I'm from [[Wikipedia:Liberec|Liberec]] in the Czech Republic, but me and my family moved to Prague when my father started his company. Have you ever been to Prague? It's amazing!

I know a lot about philosophy! I love it!!! I have studied it forever. I can't wait to learn more by going to university!

I never heard of CADD before, I had to look it up lol. Do you work as a designer or something?

Till later.
Na shledanou (That's Czech)
Regina.}}
''Na shledanou'' means "Good bye."/"Until we meet again." (Moderately formal.)

====Still selling?====
{{Email|Hey did you get my last email?

Haven't heard from you in a bit. Are you still going to sell me your guitar hero controllers? I was thinking of collecting them Monday the 5th, cause I have lots of free time then.

Let me know.

Yours,
Regina.}}
====Tiny hints of creepiness====
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not replying to you; I hadn't checked my e-mail over the weekend. The last e-mail I got from you was the one I last replied to. Did you get the picture I sent you? You may need to resend the last e-mail you said you sent.

Anyway, yes I still plan to sell you the guitars; Monday the 5th is good. We can meet up at the Barracks Road [[McDonalds]] at about 2 or 3 PM, and after the business, you and I can [[Rape|hang out for a while]].

Tell me, do you live in one of the dormatries around the UVA, or do you have your own place? And I still would like to hear more about you.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====Slightly larger hints of creepiness====
{{EmailReply|Wow. :)

You learned [[Chris and English|english]] before your father, and you help him learn it, that is cool. What does he manufacture or do in his company? And how about your mother, does she still live with him? I have not been to Prague, but I'll look it up, and you can tell me more about it from your Point of View.

I am an avid designer, yes, yet [[Monthly tugboat|it's kinda hard to get such a job]] around Charlottesville at the time. I am also an [[Chris and art|artist]]; I will be delighted to share with you my [[Sonichu (comic)|original drawings]] and other artworks.

Gmail is okay; I was [[Jack Thaddeus E-Mails|in contact before]] with [[Jack Thaddeus|someone]] who had one; one or two pieces of e-mail get misplaced a bit, but we sorted out the miscommunications.

As for the McDonalds I was referring to, there is only one Barnes & Nobel Bookstore in Charlottesville; find it, and that McDonalds is nearby.

I'm currently living with my [[Barbara|mother]] and [[Bob|father]], but I too am looking forward to getting a place of my own, or sharin' a pad with my girlfriend (if I had one; I'm [[Virgin with rage|single]]). If things work out for you, I would be happy to be your roommate and help out.

A bit more info about myself, I'm 5'10", about [[Obesity|average body type]], [[Heterochromia|my left eye is blue/right eye is green]] ([[Honest content|I had pink eye in my right during High School]], and my perscribed eyedrops changed its pigment), my hair is brown, my favorite color is blue/favorite shade is Crayola's "Battery-Charged Blue", I enjoyed reading [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein's]] "Goosebumps" and "Fear Street" books during my teenage years, my favorite movie of all time is "[[Mary Poppins]]", and my favorite food is [[SpaghettiRoutine|Macaroni & Cheese]].

I gtg, but I look forward to your next message and replying to it. :)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL,
Chris.}}

====More about Regina====
{{Email|Yeah, my dad grew up under [[CWCville|the Communist system]]. So he had to learn Russian because they didn't teach English back then. He does really well though. His company makes clay and ceramic tiles by the way. Among other things.

Prague is one of the greatest cities in the world! We call it the Paris of the East. I attached a picture I took from my graduation trip. For a party we took a boat trip on the [[Wikipedia:Vltava|Vltava]] and I took this picture of the castle. It was such an awesome day. There are so many things to see and do. It is quite possibly the best place in Europe. But it feels good to get away for a while.

That's too bad about the jobs. I guess this financial crisis makes it hard to find work. It must be hard to make ends meet. I guess not a lot of people are building things so it must be hard to work as a designer. Do you do like freelance stuff? Cause I guess that would be REALLY hard to find work.

I guess I can look that McDonalds up on google maps or something. I'll find it. I just don't know cause I never eat there. Barnes and Noble is a book store right?

You're looking for a place too? I'm trying to find a 2 bedroom apartment around UVA for around 800$. I'm not sure how realistic that is yet. Most of the people I know are staying with family to keep things cheap. I'm kinda lucky cause my dad can help out and I saved up a lot. I'm trying to convince some of my friends so if they turn me down, I'll let you know. Are you a [[Chris' room|tidy]] guy? Do you [[Tobacky|smoke]]? Do you like [[Chris's Big Night Out|parties]]? I like to have the occasional party.

I guess I can tell you a bit more about me. I'm blond with brown eyes. I'm pretty short. Only 161 centimetres. I'm sorry cause I'm really not used to these American measurements yet so I don't know what that is in inches...

I have to admit, I have never heard of any of those books. I read a lot of [[CWCville|Kafka]]. I didn't like him at first but I gradually grew to like him. He's Czech so we had to read a lot of his books in school. I've never heard of Mary Poppins. I don't really watch American movies. I like them but most of the films I watch are European. I've heard many things about macaroni and cheese. But I'm kind of hesitant to try it. American cheese scares me. I have a CRAZY love for PEANUT BUTTER though.

What's pinkeye?

Na shledanou!
Regina.}}

Approx. translation: "Good day!" Literal translation: "Until we meet again!"

====Chris rambles about himself====
{{EmailReply|To answer your questions, I consider myself a [[Chris and health|tidy person]], I have never [[Tobacky|smoked]], and I like parties ([[Alcohol|I'm a social drinker]]). Yet I'm willing to stay dry to be a desiginated driver.

I do a bit of freelance artwork, I was hoping to save this until when we met in person, but I am the [[Chris and copyright|original creator]] of the Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokemon|Pok'emon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and their city of [[Cwcville]], VA. I have been internet famous for a few years, so I have [[Trolls|fans]] and [[Clyde Cash|internet bullies]]. The main Official Websites for Sonichu and Rosechu are [[CWCipedia]], Cwcipedia/CWC's Sonichu Site, and my Current [[YouTube]] account, "ChristianWChandler". Other similar websites that may be similar or calim to be "Official" are NOT. I am planning on getting paper-published soon, and there is no Official Merchandise available yet. I have all the original page drawings and my other original artworks here at my house.

And the Pinkeye, as stated on the "Pinkeye" article on [[Wikipedia]], "[[Wikipedia:Conjunctivitis|Conjunctivitis]] (commonly called "pink eye" or "Madras eye") is an inflammation of the conjunctiva (the outermost layer of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids), most commonly due to an allergic reaction or an infection (usually viral, but sometimes bacterial)."

Getting back to your last e-mail, clay and ceramic tiles, that is cool. I have a cousin who used to sell ceramic pieces and statues, but he gave that up to become the Sheriff of his hometown. My father is a retired Engineer from General Electric (GE); he also was the Designer of the controls of the Plastic-Molding Machines, so without him, you would not have the plastic on your PC's keyboard, or the plastic on the [[Obesity|2-Liter soda bottles]].

I enjoyed the picture of the Vitava castle you sent me, thank you. :) I'm happy you were able to enjoy it.

<nowiki>Also, I just checked the math; at the rate of 2.5 cm = 1 inch, and 12 inches = 1 foot, 161 cm = 64.4 inches, whichs makes you about 5 feet, 4.4 inches. You're only just under 6 inches (15 cm) shorter than me.</nowiki>

Oh, and Barnes and Nobel IS a bookstore. Let me give you a directional piece, if you know where the interception of Ivy and Emmet is; down the road by UVA's "The Corner", passing by the road leading to the Alderman Library, ending by the Soccer Field and Tennis Courts. You go North on Emmet, and continue down until you see a Taco Bell on the left side, the McDonalds, Barnes & Nobel and the Barracks Road Shopping Center those are in are just beyond the [[Chloe|Taco Bell]]. You also pass the [[Greene County Conspiracy|John Paul Jones Arena]] on the way.

I may be able to help you on your apartment search. there is a website, http://www.craigslist.com, you go there, look up Virginia, then Charlottesville, then Apartments, they have listings from people who want to rent or sell apartments and other things.

You can look up Goosebumps and Fear Street at the libraries around town, under the "Young Adults" section, if you're looking for something new to read. I have read Franz Kafka a bit in High School; we read
"[[Wikipedia:The Metamorphosis|Metamorphasis]]". I enjoyed the comparisons between the busy salesman life he had, and what it would feel like to be a bug; so miniscule in life, with a lot of people stepping on you here and there.

Mostly, Macaroni and Cheese is made with Chedder, or sometimes it can be made with Swiss. And I enjoy the occasional peanut butter sandwich, it is a [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|healthy choice]]. :)

Do you have a headshot photo of yourself you can share with me, please? I shared my headshot with you, and I would feel better if I can get a preview of your face. Also, I am 27 years old, how about you? And are you a bit of a drinker too?

I'm only curious. ;)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL, Chris.}}

====Regina tries to make sense of all that====
{{Email|Ok, that's cool that you are tidy. If my friends don't pull through, I'll keep you in mind.

Ok, so I'm a bit confused. Pokemons are those Japanese card game things right? So you designed some characters for these [[cards]] or video games? That's pretty cool. Does [[sonichu]] or [[rosechu]] mean something in Japanese? This isn't my computer. It belongs to my aunt (she's the family member I'm living with) and she needs it for work a lot. So I will have to check out your portfolio site or whatever later.

Pinkeye sounds really [[Honest Content|gross]].

Ok, thanks for the directions. I will see if I can get my friend to swing by with her car on Monday and we'll go pick them up. I don't think it will be a problem.

Thanks for the advice about Craigslist. I had already been checking it. I'm looking at a few possibilities.

Thanks for the book recommendations too, but I don't think I'll have time to check those out. I'll probably be too busy reading philosophy books for university. So you read Kafka? Only The Metamorphosis? My favourite from him is [[Wikipedia:The Trial|The Trial]]. Have you read it?

I tried one of these easy to make macaroni and cheese boxes last night. It was pretty horrible. I had to first get over the fact that the cheese was a powder, then I tried to eat it. I really didn't like it. My aunt eats it though. I just can't seem to get used to American cheese. Especially powdered. You don't make it like in Europe.

A headshot? Like for actors? I don't have any professional photos like that, but I can attach a normal one. I guess it makes sense cause you will have to recognise me. Here's a picture of me and my brother. This is from the last time we went camping.

I'm 20 years old. Which means I can't [[Alcohol|drink]] here. I like to have social drinks. In the Czech republic you can drink at 18. So It's really annoying. So sometimes I just drink with my friends at home when we can find someone who is old enough to get us a bottle of wine.

Talk soon I hope.

Na shledanou,
Regina.}}
====Random-access humor demonstration====
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your picture. You are soo cute and pretty. :)

FYI, Pokemon started as a video game on [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, then it became an anime, followed by the Trading Card Game. Sonichu and Rosechu are not japanese names, although the inspiration for "Sonichu" came from Sonic the Hedgehog's japanese name, "Soniku".

I will look up and read "The Trial", thank you for recommending it to me.

They have Macaroni and Cheese premade in the frozen food aisle of the grocery stores, I personally recommend the Marie Calandar brand; it is good, and it's inexpensive.

Maybe after you and I meet, I can come by your place and bring a spot of wine or something for you. ;)

I talked to my father about you a bit, and my father went on with his stories of Czechoslovakia; he's been a bit around the world, and he studies his atlases and maps. He informed me about what had happened there during the WWII and such. Clearify it for me and him, is the country split up like Czech and Slovak Republics, or is it still combined to Czechoslovakia?

Also, my father had some friends back in the late 1970s who were from Czechoslovakia; they had left there for America illegally, so they could never go back. Anyway, my dad and mom enjoyed conversing with them, and they all would also share the [[Wikipedia:Slivovitz|Slivovitch]] (Plum Brandy) they would bring over. He really enjoyed it, it came in this perfume bottle-shaped bottle with plums on the label. Locally, the closest place to find the Slivovitch, as far as my dad knows, is just north in Maryland.

You would likely have an enjoyable conversation of Czechoslovakia, or the Czech Republic, with him. I'm not all that knowledgeable in geography personally, but I can learn.

Another little something else about me, I can be funny; sometimes I'll [[Random-access humor|think of something silly, witty or random]] that makes me and my family smile and/or laugh about. Like for example, I used to go on about people with [[HippoOnYourHead|Hippopotami on their heads]]. :D Or this man from Nantucket who had on his head a bucket. :D Even a Lawer named Tom Sawer who had a daughter named Sue. :D And recently a silly song line of [[RandomSong1|a cow named Moo]], "Hey there, Moo, wha'cha gonna do? Are you gonna give me some milk today? Moo. Moo." :D

And sometimes, I like to take words, spell them backwards and say them like that. My name, "Christian Weston Chandler" would be "[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]". Or your name, "Regina Kovacs" would be "Scavok Aniger". And sometimes, I take numbers and replace letters in words with them. 1 can be [[Bella|I, L or J]]. 2 can be Q, R, S, Z. 3 can be B, E, M, N or W. And so on for the other single digits; all it takes is a spot of imagination. I can spell my first name as [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|CH2127143]] from CHRISTIAN.

I'll stop for now, and I understand if you're feeling [[Slow-in-the-minds|confused]] from the wordplay. But I can be quite creative and clever.

So our meeting is set then, Monday the 5th, 2:00 PM, at the Barracks Road McDonalds. We can get the guitar business done, then sit, talk and I'll be happy to treat you for lunch. I look forward to seeing you, and I feel this can be a good friendship. ;)

Stay Safe, and I'll TTYL,
Love and Peace,
Chris.

P.S.

BTW, "Na shledanou", is that Czech for "Love" or "Sincerely"?}}

====Regina tries to make sense of all that bullshit====
{{Email|Hey thanks for the compliment! I think I am a little too thin though. It's not a very good pic though. I didn't bring my computer with me cause I need to buy a new one, so I saved most of my stuff on CDs before I came. That's the only one I could find of me. Somewhere around here I have pics from my graduation which are really cool but I don't know where.

So is this Soniku thing pretty [[Chris and money|profitable]]? I always wondered if people who design stuff for video games make a lot of money and if it is hard work or a lot of fun. Designing video games sounds like something that would be fun, but I have zero artistic talent and I don't think I could ever master all this digital design stuff. I just like playing them.

To be honest, I think I will steer clear of macaroni and cheese for the time being. [[America]]n cheese in general isn't really appealing to me. It's all processed and everything. It doesn't seem like it would be all that good for you. But I don't really know. I'm just not a fan.

Wine is pretty good. I like white. Do you know any American brands that are really good wine? I have tried a couple from California but I want to get a good sampling. You don't need to buy me any, I think you could get in trouble or something right? My country is better known for beer, though I am not the biggest fan of it.

I don't understand if you said your dad has been to the Czech republic or he knows a lot about it. I can certainly clarify it for both of you! In [[1989]], communism ended in what we call the sametová revoluce, think in English it's called the soft revolution or the [[Wikipedia:Velvet Revolution|velvet revolution]] or something like that. Then, a couple of years later, there was a referendum and we decided to split up. On January 1st [[1993]], we became two countries again.

Your dad has tried slivovica! And he enjoyed it! That's great! We make many of these drinks from other fruit too. We call them pálenka. I like slivovica too. Have you tried it?

I am not so sure that I understand this humour. Why did the people have hippos on their heads? And does the cow belong to this lawyer? I think you will have to explain these a bit more to me. One thing I have a lot of trouble with is American jokes. Czech humour is very different. Don't worry though, I don't think you would understand many Czech jokes. I have tried telling some to my friends and no one ever laughs.

My name isn't actually Regina Kovacs, it's Regina Novakova. Walter isn't my real father. He married my mum when I was very small. My father died in an accident before I was born but I kept his name. Walter is the only dad I've ever known though. I guess that isn't as interesting if you spell it backwards.

I would be happy to have lunch with you. I don't really like McDonalds though. I find their food to be really bad. One of my friends and her boyfriend may be driving me though. Can she come too? That's not certain yet. I may borrow my aunt's car if she doesn't need it.

Actually "na shledanou" just means "goodbye". I guess that's kind of formal. If you want to be friendlier, you can just say "čau" or "pápá". Love in Czech is "láska" and "I love you" is "miluji tě". I guess if you are looking for an equal to a closing in a letter you would say something like "upřímně váš" but that's kind of formal too.

Ok, sorry, no more language lessons.

Čau! :) (Translation; "hi/bye". Similar to aloha.)
Regina}}

====Chris rambles like a motherfucker====
{{EmailReply|I got your last e-mail on [[October 2009|October]] 1. :) BTW, that was my mother's birthday too; she's 68 now. I've been busy lately, and I apologize for not replying sooner. I would have replied yesterday, but [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2009|my mom came down ill]] (thought to be food poisioning at first but it's confirmed to be [[Barbara_Chandler#Recent_health_problems|colitis]]; a colon infection); had to be rushed to the Martha Jefferson Hospital. She is still recovering, and she is feeling better now.

Now, in response to your last e-mail, firstly, I think your figure looks great; I would not change it. ;) And more pics of you would be good, I look forward to seeing your Graduation Pics.

Sonichu can be profitable, but the plan is to get paper published with a comic book company like Archie or Marvel (or self-publish if they refuse me), then my comics can be mass-printed, sold, and merchandise and profits to follow.

I'm not all that a video game designer, but I have had experience with part and building desiging on the CADD programs, as well as in-video game designing, such as the level-creation-styles of [[LittleBigPlanet]]. And before then with in-game customizations with games such as [[Animal Crossing]], [[Wikipedia:Jet Set Radio|Jet Grind Radio]], [[Wikipedia:F-Zero GX|F-Zero GX]], and others. I'm also looking forward to the upcoming [[ModNation Racers|Modnation Racers]]. BTW, you said you play video games too, which console(s) do you own? If you have a PS3, we can be exchange [[PSN]] Online IDs and communicate through there too.

I've just started drinking last June; my first drink was a [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|Long Island Iced Tea]]; Delicious. :)P I've enjoyed the tastes of a local wine I sampled from a local winery. I've also tasted [[Wikipedia:Mike's Hard Lemonade Co.|Mike's Hard Lemonade]], [[Wikipedia:Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch)|Budwiser]], [[Wikipedia:Miller Brewing Company|Miller]], [[Wikipedia:Anheuser-Busch_brands#Michelob|Micolobe]], [[Wikipedia:Samuel Adams (beer)|Samual Adams]] and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour. I have not yet tried the Slivovich

From the jokes I told you, most were word-play jokes; the hippo joke was just silly. :D No, the lawer did not own the cow; those two scenarios were seperate ''[sic]''. "Lawyer" and "Sawyer" rhyme, and what does a lawyer do? "Sue" someone. I'll sing the cow lyric for you on Monday when we meet; it's funnier when heard anyway.

Your friends may come for lunch too. I can think of three other good places: CiCi's Pizza has good pizza, salads, soups and desserts; all you can eat. Tropical Smoothie Cafe has good flatbread sandwiches that come with your choice of chips or fruit, and their smoothies are tasty too. Baja Bean has some good mexican food. I'm also open for your suggestions, or what you feel like then.

I'm sorry to hear that about your original father, but at least you had Walt to be your emotionally supportive dad, and you still have your mother too. :) It's always good to count your blessings.

[[Chris and religion|Do you go to church]]? I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Wesley United Methodist Church]], south-bound on Emmet St. beyond the tennis courts, across from the UVA parking garage there. I was baptized there Mother's Day of 2008; my father and I are Methodists, and my mother is Presbertyrian.

Do you have siblings? I have two half-brothers and one half-sister. My mother had [[Joseph Cole Smithey]]; a movie reviewer in New York City, currently living with his girlfriend and her family. He also has a website, [http://www.colesmithey.com http://www.colsmithey.com]. My father had [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]]. Alan is an Optomologist in Chesterfield County; he is married and has a daughter; her name is Savannah. Carol has a PHD and Degree in Math, and last my father and I heard, she was working with the Government in DC; Top Secret Stuff. Seriously, I HAVE NO INKLING of where in DC she is or what's she been up to.

Does your mother work too, or is she a housewife? My mother held a number of Secretarial jobs; most recent was at First North American National Bank (Partnered with Circuit City) where she worked in Recovery. She's retired now; she used to be an adequate homemaker, but since she retired, she's been taking it easy a lot.

BTW, my father's name is Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., and my mother's is Barbara Anne Weston Chandler.

And I have a number of aunts, uncles and cousins I'll be happy to tell you about at a later time. Please feel free to tell me some about your family and y'alls history.

Also, I am 1/32 [[Cherokee]], from my father's side; I am also part English, British and French (British and French from my mother's). My family tree includes the Boleyn family; [[Anne Boleyn]], one of King Henry VIII's wives, who gave birth to Queen Elizabeth I. Anne was related in an Aunt-Sense; my mom and I are more directly linked to her sister, Mary Boleyn. At least, as far as my mother found in her family's history. the next link she found was Richard Weston, First Earl of Portland. I'm still trying to find the link between Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn. Anyway, another one of my ancestors after Richard was the dude who bartered for the Mayflower for the English People to board and take that famous Pilgrimage.

I'll stop there for now.

Anyway, our meeting is settled then; this coming Monday at the Barracks Road McDonalds at 2:00 PM. We'll make the business exchange of the guitars for the $90.99, USD, then we'll hang out with a spot of lunch. :)

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe and Take Care,
Cau,
Chris.
(I do not know how to type in an acented letter from my keyboard or AOL e-mail)}}

====Regina drops some hints====
{{Email|Hey Christian. I am at a friends house right now. I am a little bit drunk because we have been drinking some wine her dad gave us. Please excuse any spelling errors. :)

That is pretty cool about your Soniku thing. I hope you get it published. I still havent seen [[CWCipedia|your website]]. I guess I should check it out if you are famous for it or something.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Is she ok? It sounds pretty serious. What happened exactly?

When I get home from my friends house I will send you some grad photos. I have what I think is the perfect dress.

Yeah I figured the joke you were talking about would be better in person. Do you have any more examples? Im trying to understand as much as possible. Oh, feel free to correct my English too, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to languages.

Ok, so we can meet at McDonalds and then go somewhere else. I really dont want to eat there. The taco place you mentioned sounds pretty cool. I dont think my friend and her boyfriend will be coming.

As for video games, I have a PS3 and mostly just play guitar hero. Thats why we are buying the controllers from you. Cause me and my friend are really competitive. We want to compete against each other.

[[Megan_Schroeder#Megan_Saga|Ugh, there is this really fat ugly guy at this party who keeps touching me and annoying me by talking about some stupid drawings he does.]] Hes really an idiot. Luckily my friend keeps shooing him away.

I dont really go to church a lot. I went to a Catholic secondary school. But in the Czech republic, religion is not all that popular. Ive never really found all that much reason to go to [[church]]. I dont know what methodism is. Im kind of a Christian Existentialist anyway. I really like [[Wikipedia:Søren Kierkegaard|Kierkegaard]].

Anyway, my thumbs are getting tired from typing this on my friends iPhone so I think I will get back to partying. Ill send you the pictures tomorrow.

Ahoj!!! :)
Regina}}

''Ahoj'' is similar to ''čau'', in that both function as a greeting and farewell. Both are somewhat informal.

====Nazi joke====
{{Email|Hey, sorry for last night. I was in no state to be sending emails. I was kind of just doing it to look busy so [[Christian Weston Chandler|that guy]] would stop bothering me. I didn't really answer all your questions!!!!

So, in addition to the stuff I mentioned last night:

I do have some siblings. There is my brother Kristián I mentioned before, and my little sister Kateřina. Kristian is 25 and just started his own company. Kateřina is 15 and still attending secondary
school. My mom does work. She has a dog grooming business. My ancestors haven't done anything special. At least not that I know of. Maybe they have but Novák is such a common name in the Czech republic
the relation would be insignificant. I would check my Dad's side but Kovač is even more common than Novák. I don't like to be judged on my [[Anne Boleyn|family]] [[Daniel Weston|history]] anyway and prefer people assess me for what I do.

I have a Czech joke for you:
 During the Nazi occupation, a Gestapo officer drags a Czech man into a prison and says "lock him up!"
 The clerk asks, "what did he do?"
 The Gestapo officer says "he shouted '[[Michael Snyder|Jews]] out! Germans in their place!'"
 The clerk says "why did you arrest him for that? That's the new law!"
 The Gestapo officer says "he was in a Jewish cemetery!"

It's not the best joke but it's the only one that anyone has understood when I told it to them. Do you have any more jokes to consider before we meet?

So, at the Barracks road McDonalds at 2pm. Please expect that I will be a little late.

Hopefully I will hear from you by email before then. OK? :)

Get the guitars ready xixixi.

How is your mom doing?

Oh... and picture attched.

Čau čau!!!
Regina.}}
====The meeting arranged====
{{EmailReply|I've just downloaded and saw your pic; WOW! You're like Cinderella from the Disney movie; Beeeautiful! :)

I will have the two guitars and their USB receivers ready for you; please make sure you have the cash on hand to pay for them. $91 is acceptable; I will be happy to give you the penny in change. Also, I've just purchased PS3 Rock Band Country Track Pack for the code to download the Tracks to be playable in Rock Band 1 + 2. I was thinking about putting it on eBay for $19.99, but if you want it, I'll be happy to include it with the guitars, as a Free Bonus.

Do you get WiFi at your place, so we could communicate over the Playstation Network? If you don't, I recommend it. I get WiFi here at my house and as far as its yard streches property-wise, courtesy of Comcast Cable; I have a cable modem box with a WiFi Router equipped to it. It is a good deal, especially with Guitar Hero titles; I buy and download the additional Tracks from the Playstation Store (some of which are free).

Another great game I highly recommend for the PS3 is [[LittleBigPlanet]]; in addition to the Story Mode and customizing your Sackperson, you can collect the in-game parts and pieces and create your own levels. I have a few of my own uploaded onto the PSN. "LittleBigPlanet... It is a planet that is little; it is a planet that is big."

Anyway, by the taco place, do you mean the Taco Bell or the Baja Bean, just so I'm clear on that? It's okay if you come by yourself, and I understand if you're late; I'll wait for you. You'll know I'm there if you see a [[Son-Chu|dark blue station wagon-shaped Ford Escort]] with "Sonichu" on the License Plate, and an Autobot symbol on it's trunk door in the nearby parking spaces.

I would not judge you on your family history; it still makes a good conversation or research topic.

The hospital just released my mother this morning, and my father brought her home this afternoon. She is still recovering, and my father and I went out earlier to get her new perscriptions, but at least she doesn't have to make as many restroom runs now.

Your joke is good. I have a few other jokes, as well as a riddle or two. Or I may come up with something new at random. [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|I get some of my material from past comedy shows and movies]]. Three comedians I enjoy are Red Skelton, Lucille Ball and Jerry Sienfeld.

I look forward to meeting you and hanging out with you tomorrow. :)

Cau Cau, and Stay Safe,
Chris.}}
====Subtlety is wasted on Chris====
{{EmailReply|I'm glad you had a good time last night at your friend's house, and I'm sorry you had to deal with [[Chris|that fat guy]]. It's good to be blessed with friends to help you like that. :)

Oh, and Methodism, as well as Presbertianism, are both of Christian Religions; you may look them up on Wikipedia.

Cau,
Chris.}}
====He [[Kick the Autistic|kicks autistics]] and isn't afraid of anything====
{{Email|First off, I'm supposed to say HI FROM [[Gregg Mays|GREGG WITH THREE Gs]].

He said you had family business to attend to and couldn't make it. He was kind enough to drop off the guitars. Thank you for the discount by the way! 50% is huge! Gregg also took the liberty of cleaning off the stickers and paint. He said it looked kind of bad. But they look like new now! Thanks!

Hope nothing is too serious and you got it all sorted out.

Gregg is pretty cool guy.

ČAU!!!!
Regina :)}}
====Oh the guitars are good too====
{{Email|I got the computer for a couple minutes. Just wanted to say that we should hang out sometime soon since I didn't get to see you. I Skyped my dad and told him to leave some good feedback about the guitars.
They work great!!!!

See you soon I hope!!! :)

ČAU ČAU
Regina.}}
====Chris totally hates Gregg Mays====
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not replying sooner.

Listen, this "Gregg" you met up with is an Enemy of mine; he is NOT to be trusted. He is an internet [[Troll]]/Bully. In fact, that is not his real name; he goes by "Gregg Mays" or "Clyde Cash", but niether one of them are his real name. You bought the two guitars from a crook, a fiend. I felt shocked when you mentioned his name in your last e-mail; I was hoping to avoid having to talk about that son of a bitch.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

[[Chris and his ego|I had to be fated to become internet famous]]...

Anyway, I will still be happy to meet up with you and hang out. Perhaps we can hang out at the [[Fashion Square Mall]]. Let me know which day would be good for you.

Also, I would like you to get in touch with my [[gal-pal]] I've told you a bit about earlier; she will be introducing herself in an e-mail soon; her address is [REDACTED]. That way, you'll get to know one of my friends as well. :)

BTW, I've relisted the two guitars on eBay; it was wierd ''[sic]'' to get the positive feedback after you've bought the guitars from Someone Else (who happens to be a crook).

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Outrage====
{{Email|OH MY GOD I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!

Not at you of course.

So this guy who sold me [[guitar]]s wasn't even a friend of yours? I'm not sure I fully understand this... so he came with two identical guitars and took the [[money]] that was supposed to go to you? I'm amazed. Have I go the story right? It's amazing how being on the internet can bring out so many stupid people!!! I am SOOOO SORRY. There was no way I could have known! Can you forgive me?

What about the feedback, should I tell my dad to leave it there? It doesn't seem honest but this guy has ripped you off. What do you think?

As far as hanging out goes, we will soon guaranteed. I have to head home to Prague this weekend cause [[Barb|my mom]] is sick. It doesn't seem too serious, but I should visit my family. It's good to see them when they are down you know? What sort of things do you want to do? Good news is I have my own laptop now, so I can email more frequently. Email me lots over the weekend cause I may be pretty bored in Prague. I'm kind of excited though because I will be going to see family in Liberec and I get to RIDE THE TRAIN!!!

I would love to talk to your friend!!! I am trying to meet as many new people as possible. It can get lonely being a foreigner here and I want to practice my [[English]] too! What's a [[gal-pal]]?

I attached another photo from my [[graduation]]. It's of me and my two bestest teachers. Do you have any favourite lektors from school or university?

How's your mom? And how is the job hunt? I've been trying to find some work recently too.

Ok, study break is over. Back to the work.

ČAU MOJ!!
Regina.}}
====Absence====
{{Email|Haven't heard from you in a while. You aren't angry with me are you?

I finally took a peek at your [[YouTube]] account. There's a lot of [[Chris and anger|angry videos]] on there. What is happening? Should I be worried about [[Clyde Cash|this Gregg person]]?

What should I do?

Regina}}
====We cool====
{{EmailReply|Hey, Regina. No, I am not angry with you; we are cool.

As long as you ignore him and don't communicate further with Gregg, don't worry. BTW, since you've met "Gregg" in person, can you describe what he looks likes; height, body build, [[Heterochromia|eye color]], skin, hair color/style and such?

Don't worry about the whole mess; it's MY mess, and I am and will deal with it personally.

And don't worry about the Guitar deal; I've relisted them on [[eBay]]; it's all cool.

How is your mother; I hope she's doing better? And let's try to re-schedule our meet and greet hang-out; do you know where Fashion Square Shopping Center is?

TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====The many faces of Gregg====
{{Email|Hey there.

Sure I can describe Gregg. He's a kind of square shouldered guy. He's [[black]]. He's around 190 cm and he had some [[51 50|pretty big biceps]]. He had pretty short [[hair]] too. I am not really good at telling black people apart to be honest. I've been getting some weird emails too. Do you think they may be from him?

My mom is doing better. Thank you for asking. Though she is still pretty weak. They aren't sure why. They want to do more tests.

I've heard about the [[Fashion Square Mall]], why do you ask? I have yet to go there.

I've read a bit from your Sonichu site. I'm not sure I totally understand it.

Čauko!

Regina}}
====Chris explains YouTube madness====
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your description.

I've asked about Fashion Square, because I go there often, and it would be an ideal place to meet up. I'm free any afternoon; just let me know the day and time, and we can try to meet up again. :)

As for the wierd ''[sic]'' e-mails, make note of the sender e-mail addresses, block them, and delete any future wierd ''[sic]'' e-mails without reading them. You can pretty much tell in the subject line anyway.

Also, for the recently uploaded videos on YouTube; they were directed to my [[trolls]], including the crazy-acting [[Sign Destruction Video|one where I break that hunk of wood]] (I was trying to scare them away with that one), please do not judge me from those. Although they do emphasize my dramatic side.

I'll TTYL,

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Insane people in malls====
{{Email|Yo, wassup?

Yeah, I'm not a really big fan of American malls. I seem to meet so many weird people in them. Usually some people shouting and being weird. I keep seeing all kinds of [[Attraction Sign|strange things]] in malls.

How about this: I finally got an apartment hookup through my friend. She found a great place near the University. I haven't seen it yet but I am totally trusting of her. We are going to take possession around the middle of [[November 2010|November]]. We are SOOOO having a house party. Are you down? We are going to get WASTED and break the house in proper.

I'll block the emails. Just like you recommended. What are trolls anyway? I always thought they were some ugly things from children's stories that ate goats. I'm kind of getting the sense from what I have read that they are some sort of internet haters or something. What exactly do they want with you?

The videos are pretty interesting. I thought [[War Paint Video|the Indian one]] was cute :) but I don't really understand it. Tell me more about your dramatic side!

I totally talked to your friend! She seems really cool. How did you meet her? Is she like your girlfriend or something? I love meeting new people. It gets so hard being a foreigner here when everything is weird.

Back to studying!!!!!

Těší mě!!! (Roughly means "I hope to hear from you soon.")

Regina.}}

====Chris believes the trolls are jealous of him====
{{EmailReply|Firstly, [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] is not my girlfriend; she already has a boyfriend; she and i are just friends. I met her through an old friend of mine.

The house party sounds like fun. :) I am down with that. But I would still like to meet you in person ASAP. How about this, since you don't like the mall, and I recall you telling me you liked the taco place, how about we meet at a [[Taco Bell]]? There are two in [[Charlottesville]]; one nearby the Barracks Road Shopping Center, and one nearby the Albemarle Square, where the ACAC Fitness Center<ref>[http://cville.acac.com/]</ref> is located. Just let me know which day you will be free, and I can meet you at one of the two Taco Bells (We'll need to specify which one beforehand) that afternoon.

In this case, Trolls are Internet Bullies; they pick on people for the "LULZ" (or "Laughs Under Lucridicities" as I put it); Laughs at other people's expense. They try to trick, or hack, the victim or their associates to gather dirt and information on them, and twist and turn the truth around and make terrible, slanderous jokes at their expense. Mostly, they pick on celebrities; I do not really understand why me of all people. But they are just lowly individuals who most likely hang out practically 24/7 in their basements in front of their computers. The only theory I have is that they're jealous of me and my creative ideas and comics.

Anyway, I gtg; I have a few things to do right now, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}

====Philosophy reading====
{{Email|Hello!!! :)

Well, the thing is, I want to meet you too. But right now this philosophy at university is driving me mad!!! I have so much reading to do I am spending all my time in classes or at home with my nose in a book. I figure once I can get the bulk of my reading under control, I am totally yours to meet. I'll guarantee we can meet before the housewarming party, but not at this exact moment.

Not unless you can explain my philosophy readings to me :D Why does it need to be ASAP?

I am really not a fan of fast food, maybe we can go to [[Chris's Big Night Out|a nightclub or bar or something]]... do you know any good ones??

So I think I understand the whole trolls thing. I read a bit of your bio on that cogsdev thing you sent me. It seems like a pretty confusing story. It sounds pretty tragic too.

Anyway, in the meantime, until we meet that it, can I keep sending you emails to keep my English up to date? Although she speaks perfect English, my Aunt only wants to speak Czech all the time... All my readings are in English but I keep getting worried my social English will go out the window. Can I ask you some questions before we meet?

Pusinky :*
Regina.}}
''Pusinky'' means "kisses."

====The sooner the better====
{{EmailReply|It's cool; we can meet up at the Baja Bean across from [[Wal-Mart]]; they have a bar there, and they do check for ID, but it is smoke-free and clean. Plus, they have Karaoke Friday Nights there at 9:00. It doesn't have to be ASAP, but the sooner the better, I feel. And of course you may ask me as many questions as you please, and I can think of some in response to those as well. :) I continue to look forward to our meet and greet.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Questions about America====
{{Email|Hey!!!

Ok, cool. I like to ask foreigners a lot of questions. Because this is the first time I have lived in [[America]], so there are so many things I am curious about...

Ok, so check this out. I saw [[War Paint Video|your video where you are dressed up like an Indian]]. Do they still live on reservations and stuff? I haven't met anyone who is an Indian (at least not that I know of) and no one seems to really know that much about them. Do you? You said you had some ancestry, so I was just curious. Do you follow any traditions? The only things I know about Indians are from the Winnetou books and movies and I'm not sure how accurate they are.

Oh hey, do you have any more books to recommend other than [[Goosebumps|those RL Stien books]]? My brother is looking for some good books and those ones aren't available in the Czech republic. He needs to read more because his English sucks almost as much as my dad's.

I went through some of your comics. Pretty interesting. Where did you learn to draw? I have been reading books on how to draw but can't seem to get anything right. I read a lot of theory books like from Marvel and stuff but I never seem to improve. I would take lessons but that will have to wait until University is over.

Ok, and a couple of American things that really get me confused...

The first is [[halloween]]. Everyone seems to make a big deal of it. I don't get it. We don't have it in the Czech republic but everyone knows what it is. But what's the big deal anyway? A lot of people have invited me to parties. Are you going to a party? I don't understand how this thing for kids to get candy has turned into adults dressing up for parties.

Also, politics. People really seem to ramble about politics a lot. I think I kind of get the sense of what the parties are about. Who do you vote for? I hope that's not too personal a question. And a lot of people seemed to hate [[George Bush]]. Why didn't they like him so much? And now a lot of people don't like [[Obama]]. Why don't people like him? ARRRRGH, I'm so confused. And what's with all these conspiracies... ABOUT BOTH.

Oh hey, on a by the way sort of note... My dad's is starting up this new media company and he needs writer/editor type people with HTML skills for a website. I read on your site that you know a bit about that. They are having trouble finding skilled people to fill the position. Would you be interested in the email address or are you too busy with freelance work? I don't know anything about how much it pays but my dad said just refer (he told me to ask anyone I knew) people to his HR manager and they would happily answer questions. I still feel bad about the guitar thing and hoped this would make it up to you.

Gaaah! I need to get back to all this philosophy reading. All these books make me think about our place in the world. Do you think there is a grand design or something? Do you have a personal philosophy? After reading all this, I don't know what to believe...

Ask me some questions so I can procrastinate in these readings LOL!!!

Ok. Back to work.

Čau moj!
Regina}}
====Wikipedia: The answer to everything====
{{EmailReply|Cool. Well, in order to your questions; firstly, I am 1/32 [[Cherokee]]. I do not currently live on a reservation, yet I think a lot of us Native Americans do live on Reservations. The proper term is not Indian (that term was misconstruded when Christopher Colombus landed at what would later be called America, and he thought it was India (his originally planned destination) and he referred to the people as people of India by mistake; the proper term is Native American. I currently do not know of any traditions to follow of my Cherokee ancestry, but information on "Cherokee" can be looked up on Wikipedia.

The only other books I can remember having read, off the top of my head, is "To Kill a Mockingbird", "Wednesday's Child" and "The Giver". The authors escape me, but again, check on Wikipedia.

My drawing style, I would say is mostly natural, but I have learned about perspectives and such from Numerous Art Classes I took throughout my lifetime in all my schools I went to. I can shed some light on perspectives for you and help you practice drawing in the future. :) Do you have any samples of your drawing style you'd like to share with me? I can critique it and offer you honest, detailed feedback that can help you as well.

Halloween History can be looked up on Wikipedia, but the costumed portions, from what I've heard, started in these United States in Salem with Witches, spooks and the like. As portrayed in [[Wikipedia:Treehouse of Horror VIII|a "Treehouse of Horror" episode]] of "[[The Simpsons]]", one theory states that some of those witches wanted children for one of their brews or something, so they went house-to-house. But instead of taking the children, they were offered cookies, candies and treats, and the witches accepted those instead. And eventually, the trend of Trick or Treat and costumed people going house-to-house followed for a Halloween tradition. Adults like to dress up to get into the spirit, and parties are a given as such for fun and enjoyment. I know of a halloween party I plan on going to nearby the Downtown [[Mall]]; if we meet soon enough, I would like to invite you to come with me there. :) If you came with me, what would you dress up as? And I encourage your own personal creativity. As a suggestion, if you still have your prom dress, all you would need are a pair of clear transparent slippers and a tiara, and you come as Cinderella.

I am not all that into politics, but I do know some things from ear (Bush and Obama and why people dislike them can be found on the Wikipedia also). You may be talking about George Bush JUNIOR that people have disliked; I don't know much of why. As for Obama, people are disliking him, because he supposedly is being a wuss and has pulled back some of the US Armed Forces from other countries. And currently, his Health Plan; to my understanding, it would just be a costly thing that Americans are not ready for yet, because we can't afford it yet, due to the recent recession (which didn't seem like that big of a deal in my opinion; I just lived on day by day, and I'm still okay). And there's the deal with another country concealing a nuclear facility from him; they don't want to give a tour, and they're saying it's there for "Peace Reasons". Obama's trying to get other countries' support to make this country show him their facility. That's what I know right now. I recommend learning what you can in research to help settle your confusion more if you feel the need.

Also, as for voting, in current events, my main concern is on the [[Wikipedia:Governor of Virginia| Governer of Virginia]]; [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnel]] or [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Craig Deeds]]. There are tales of McDonnel wanting to take Virginia backwards, in a sense, by supporting a law created by Bush Jr. (I think). And McDonnel is Against Abortion Rights, and he would make it illegal, even in incest or rape, and for married couples, to have the choice. On the other hand, Craig supports higher taxes for gas, housing and such. Currently, Craig is ahead, but my father and I both feel that Neither McDonnel or Craig are good; they're both poor choices. We're even thinking on Election Day to Write in [[Peanuts|Snoopy (Charlie Brown's dog)]] instead of voting for McDonnel or Craig. LOL

I do have good knowledge of raw HTML, and I created the Most Original [[CWC's Sonichu Site]], as well as its predecessor, [[CWC's PokeSite 2]], from raw HTML text in Notepad. I have had two classes; one during [[High School]] and one later at [[PVCC]]. I would need more information on your dad's company, and the web server that is set up for his company, but I am up for that. ;)

Personal philosophy, I'm not sure; I have thought about it before, but it escapes me at the moment. I promise to recall, remember it and get back to you on that.

Also, for bars I've been to, I've also been to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebees]] (the one by [[Toys]] 'R' Us; they have Karaokee Mondays), the [[Wikipedia:T.G.I. Friday's|TGIFridays]] by [[Target]], and Club R2 (A.K.A. the Rapture) in the Downtown Mall (I don't know much about R2, but they do print their events in [[Charlottesville]]'s "[[The Hook]]" weekly newsletter magazine (it's Free). Have you been to any yourself yet, and if so which ones?

I'll think up some more questions for you by the next e-mail.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Regina is just full of questions====
{{Email|Word up yo...

Ok, thanks for telling me about the whole Indian/Native American thing. No one corrected me on that yet and I have been saying it all along. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I guess it is hard to preserve traditions like that. I guess most of it was verbal history too.

I don't think I will offer up any drawings for critique just yet. I am not sure they are good enough. Maybe I will, but I will have to find them first. Like a lot of my personal photos they are strewed around on a whole variety of different CDs. I'll look, but no promises.

Ok, so I think I get the whole deal behind halloween parties. I guess it just makes sense to have an excuse to dress up crazy and go out to have fun. The halloween party you mentioned sounds like fun, can you tell me more about it? I would go, but I think I will have to fly back to the Czech republic cause my mom is still sick. My dress is there anyway, it was too much to pack. Surely you must know some nice lady you can take there? What are you dressing up as? That's what I'm really curious about. And why are you choosing this costume... oh, please take photos of your costume if I don't get to see it.

Thank you for clearing that bit up about politics. Can you explain to me, if you don't like these two men, why you would write a cartoon character's name? Are these the only two men? Is there really no other people? That sounds a little bizarre to hae only two people to choose from. I guess no one else wanted the position? The way you put it, [[Obama]] does sound like kind of a wuss. Do you think he is right to pull back the armies from these arab countries? I read the Wikipedia article on [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]]. It seems that people don't like him because of immigrants or something. And he doesn't seem to care about the environment and people seem to think he allows torture. And mostly the wars he started too... how reliable is this Wikipedia? Are these things really so bad? Good luck with choosing the governor.

Ok, I don't know the details about HTML and things. [[Computers]] are not my specialty. My dad told me to find anybody interested and forward them on to him. His email is [REDACTED] so it is probably best just to contact him. He may get his assistant to write back, because, well, you have read his English already. If he does reply on his own, go easy on him, k? :) You have some pretty good chances of getting the job cause they are having a really hard time getting a pool of applicants. They really want an [[English]] speaker, but no one seems to want to work for a Czech company.

I have been to a few bars, but I forget the names of most of the places. I think I went to some bar called [[Vivian]]'s or some place next to it or something. I really need to start remembering the names of all these places. A couple of discos too. I will pick up a copy of The Hook and look for these events you suggest.

Here's another few questions I thought of. Have you ever thought about doing comic plots for different characters? Like maybe doing a spinoff for one of your current characters or designing a new set of characters with a new story? Or are you just sticking to your current universe? And why/why not? My brother used to read a lot of comics so he may ask me about your mentality or whatever the next time I see him.

Hey also, we were talking about philosophy, that's cool if [[Slow-in-the-mind|you don't remember]] your personal views. I guess it isn't something the average person thinks about every day. What about your future? What do you see in your future? I am always curious about this with everybody. I see myself being like my father or brother and starting my own business, but some different kind of business. Not like the traditional kind. I just don't know what yet. What about you? What kinds of things would you like to do? Maybe in ten years or when you retire? Or next year, whatever...

Anyway, back to the books!

Papá!!
Regina}}

Again, ''papá'' is a roughly friendly term, yet still just implies vagueness (i.e., she's being slightly cautious).

====Chris babbles about costumes, politics, and dreams====
{{EmailReply|It's cool; I look forward to any drawings you are able to share with me. :)

The Halloween party I'm planning on going to is on Saturday October 31 at the Key Center, 800 E. Market St,<ref>[http://www.thekeycenter.info/]</ref> at 7 - 9 PM; $3 per person, $5 per couple; I will pay our way in if you decide to come with me. I thought I've mentioned that I currently have a few gal-pals (who are already taken), but no girlfriend for myself yet (I'm single). So, other than you, I do not have anyone else I could take. I'm going to go in this outfit I sometimes wore before to the [[Pokemon]] [[Trading Card Game]] League I used to attend that made me look like Ash Ketchum. I thought of making up an outfit to go as Captain N, from that classic Nintendo TV Show, "[[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|Captain N, the Game Master]]", but it's hard for me to find a matching jacket at Goodwill, even an "N" to stitch onto the jacket. I'll send you a photo in the next e-mail.

I'm sorry to hear your mother is still ill; please offer her my humble condolences and wishes for full recovery. :)

The wikipedia is most reliable; the people who post on there most of the time quote their sources; books, newspapers, other websites, etc.

[[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|McDonnel]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Deeds]] are the only two candidates for VA Governer at this time, and with both of them being [[Slow-in-the-minds|not so swift]] candidates, it just seems fitting to write-in the fictional character as a comical alternative. My father brought up the idea of writing Snoopy in first, and I was hip to the idea, because it made me laugh. :D As for why, McDonnel is Against [[Women's rights|Abortion Rights]], and Deeds would Raise Taxes; it's like one would [[Retard]]ate [[Virginia]], and one would Make Things [[Chris and money|MORE Expensive]].

As for Obama, I would have to agree with popular opinion on the issue of him pulling back our troops; I feel what he did there was like saying, "We're not worthy; please do with us as you wish, and we will offer no resistance." Pitiful.

I will respect and understand your father's english capabilities and wording at my best. :)

I do not plan on any spin-offs for [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic series]]; there are a LOT of characters and such, and I feel it would be more complicated and difficult to do such at this time. But in future pages, I do plan on expanding on each individual character with their individual stories and adventures. I have all my ideas written in my Brain's [[Diary]].

As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.

Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him [[Reginald]]; that was not a dream-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child. She died [[January 2009|last Janurary]] during the wild bushfires then. Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.

I have a lot of stories I would be happy to share with you in-person in conversations in the future. It feels easier to me to talk about it in-person, in lieu to typing it up.

Which brings up a topic I'm curious about, please tell me about any past relationships you've had; ex-boyfriends, any sex, etc. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it, I understand.

Cool, I will TTYL,

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,

Cau,

Chris. :)}}

====Regina can't make it====
{{Email|Hey there!

Well, thank you for the offer for the halloween party, but I will definitely be flying to Praha on that day. So there is no possible way for me to make it. Can't wait to see the photos of the Ash outfit you mentioned. I think I know the character you are talking about. I am sure I will recognise it when I see it. I don't know who Captain N is. I will check Wikipedia or something. Sorry, didn't mean to confuse your gal-pals for girlfriends. I just figured you were involved with someone. If not on a full relationship yet. Just a sense I got from your YouTube videos. I saw one where you were talking to a girl named [[Kacey|Kacy]] where you said you cared about her. Sorry for the confusion. I seem to have taken these videos out of context. Is there an explanation?

It's too bad you have such poor choices for governor or whatever. Higher taxes aren't such a bad thing though are they? They help pay for important stuff. I agree they shouldn't be too high. How much more will you have to pay if he gets elected? What happens if everyone writes [[Peanuts|Snoopy]] on the ballot? Would he have to take office?

When you put it that way about Obama, it does sound pitiful. If that's the case, why do so many people like him? And why do you think he should have stayed in Iraq? Are you a [[Twin Falling Towers|very patriotic person]]? I am very proud of being Czech, especially of my language.

You certainly seem like you have your future planned out in full. I wish I knew my future as well as you do! For now, I just want to EXCEL. I want to make the best of myself in whatever I do. I have had to bust my ass while studying. Everyone goes out and parties but I don't stop till I get it right. And boy do my marks show it. I want to be the BEST. Not sure what I have to prove. Just want to be all I can be. Maybe once I do that, I can relax for a bit. My own business is my clearest goal, even though I'm not sure what the business will be about. Do you ever have ambitions like this?

I am really sorry to hear about your friend. She must have been very special to you.

Since you mentioned Snoopy, I was just curious. What are your favourite cartoons? Do you prefer [[South Park|Western]] or [[Anime|Eastern]]? What do you like about them? I personally like Russian cartoons.

I was also watching [[Brutal Legend Plus|your video about Brutal Legend]]. I heard about that game. Is it good??? It sure looks good! Do you like metal music? Is that why you got this? I think you probably explained this in your video but there is no sound. Did YouTube screw it up?

Here's a weird question I love asking people... If you could have any superpower, what would it be? What would you do with it. The best answer I ever got was from my friend. She wanted the ability to fart in stereo LOLOLOL!!! I guess that means she would have two buttholes.

Also, what's up with American trains? European trains are way cooler. Do you use the train much?

We totally will share in person as soon as I have the time. I just want to get to know you in the meantime is all. I can be initially shy in a first meeting so it helps if I know what I can talk about.

Did you email my dad? He says he didn't get anything from you yet. Sometimes these Czech emails can be pretty screwball. If it isn't working, I'll give you his Gmail.

Nope, never had a boyfriend.

Na zdravie, šťastie a lásku,
Regina :)}}

Slovak for "health, happiness and love."

====Chris answers a bunch of questions, is still a virgin====
{{EmailReply|Yes, [[Kacey]] is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a friend though. :) I am the sort of man who keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them.

The only [[Honest Content|True-from-My-Heart-and-Mind Videos]] are on my own personal [[YouTube]] accounts, my current "ChristianWChandler" and my past "CChan6789". MOST others outside of my accounts will be slandered, misleading videos created by the Trolls, in lame attempts to mislable me, as well as smearing my good name and reputation.

I've attached an early picture of me in my ol' outfit (0647); ignore the wastepouch; I have not worn one in years. And I generally wore this yellow Pokemon TCG League Gym Leader shirt to Best complete the outfit (0584).

These photos are from my slideshow of life photos/pics I presented in a [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] I created on my 25th [[Birthday]], February 24, [[2007]], called "Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on T.V." Originally, it was priviately distributed from me to close friends and family. But last year, a [[troll]] pretended to be one of my old, close [[gal-pal]] and tricked a copy out of me; now it's all over the web, with messed-up versions of the original videos, and people making and distributing FAKE copies. DO NOT BUY any of those, as well as the unofficial Sonichu/Rosechu merchandise; there aren't any at this time, but I am working on that. After you and I become real close, I would be happy to make a copy for you, or I can share my Master Copy with you in a multiple number of "Movie Nights"; there is over 6 hours of original content.

Please do not judge me, but yeah I have yet to expierence a major relationship. But I do have a good amount of knowledge to make up a good relationship, as well as good sex. I have seen a good share of soft and hardcore porn, including some Educational videos from companies like the Sinclair Institute. But again, there is no rush. Which brings up a question, how do you feel about sex before marriage, or sex in general?

I feel that higher taxes is the better of the two evils in the governer issues, so I'll probably root for Deeds anyway. I wouldn't worry about Snoopy.

Obama stay in Iraq? You may have misunderstood a phrasing in my last e-mail; I never meant that in any way. I am proud to be an american; I am patriotic. I can go on about the history of these [[United States]] and how our forefathers, who founded it and shaped it to what it is today, worked and fought to maintain order and peace throughout this fine nation. [[Bob Chandler|My father]] could go on about that as well; he is very knowledgeable in the history. And I welcome and respect your patriotism for your country as well; you have every right as you were born and raised in it. :)

I have had ambitions for [[Wendy's|a job]] or [[Cutco|business]], even though it was not made clear to me on what it would be specifically; I'm still uncertain currently. What are your ideas for the business subject you'd like to pursue? My mother originally wanted to be a teacher, and she has had past expierence in substituting for the teacher in their absence from time to time. Yet she ended up taking a number of secretarial jobs in a number of companies and businesses.

I have a LOT of favorited cartoons; (anything) [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Sailor Moon]], [[Transformers]] (any Generation), [[Excel Saga]], [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]], Smurfs, [[Care Bears]], and more. I'm not sure what you mean by Western or Eastern, unless you mean American and Japan ([[Anime]]) Animation. I like Anime a bit better, because it is mostly [[Chris and art|better drawn and rendered]] compared to American, plus the stories are usually better, and sometimes the original Japanese Audio, even in the TV-Y area, has some curse words. LOL :D I have also watched Canadian Animation; those were good, and British Animation ("[[Wikipedia:Danger Mouse (TV series)|Danger Mouse]]" to name one). I don't think I've ever watched Russian Animation, but I am always open for new shows. :)

Yeah, I am uncertain [[PSEye|what happened to the audio in the original video I did for Brutal Legend]]. I like all kinds of [[Chris and music|music]], unless it's presented at a TOO Loud volume; respect the eardrums. LOL Metal is awesome, but I mostly listen to Pop, Lite Rock, Country, Jazz and Classic.

I would have to say Super Speed; [[Sonichu's Edge|I wouldn't easily tire out after running at such velocity]], I'd get a lot more exercise, and I wouldn't require [[Son-Chu|a car]] if I can get there in a Snap on foot. :D

I have never ridden on a train, I'm sorry.

You can talk about most anything to me, no worries. And if you cross a line, I will let you know; I would respect your wishes if I cross a line in discussion, you'd only need to tell me.

I've just e-mailed Walter, asking for the information. I am certain he got the message, because I would have gotten a "Returned Message" e-mail if the address was faulty.

I'm sorry you can't make the Halloween Party, but it's cool; I'll be okay. :) I am looking forward to your house-warming party; please let me know if I can do or bring anything to help make it better. Please be sure to let me know the details when you are fully certain of them; when and where.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Cau,
Chris.}}

====Regina is asexual, asks about loads of random stuff====
{{Email|Yo yo yo wass happenin'

That is too bad that Kacey cares for another dude, it wasn't some sort of tragic love triangle was it? I feel really sorry for you if it was. It is good that you can look past it and see her as a friend still.

It would be cool to see your DVD. I didn't know you were a filmmaker too! What kind of films do you make? What is your DVD about? It sounds interesting. I love director's cuts. Do you have a big screen? I hate watching movies on small TVs. I am sorry to hear that people are pirating it. It really sucks when people [[Sonichu|steal other people's intellectual property]] like that.

[[Chris and religion|Sex before marriage is of no concern to me.]] [[Homos|People can do whatever they want in the privacy of their homes.]] [[Third date|Sex in general seems]] [[Chris and sex|like a waste of time in my opinion.]] [[Homos|But like I said, they can do what they want.]] [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|I have never watched a porno.]]

Speaking of other countries and patriotism, how much do you know about the Czech republic? I am always curious what people know about my country, or Europe. Have you been to Europe? Is there any place you would like to visit in Europe? We have so many nice things to see. Or maybe you would prefer a different continent? Speaking of Czech, I totally tried to bring back some Slivovica for your dad. But they took it at customs. I will try to bring another. If it doesn't work this time I will get my brother to bring some when he comes to visit me in November.

As far as the business model I would like to pursue, I want to maybe open a restaurant that features all kinds of Slavic and foods from my part of the world, OR something related to fashion. I think the fashion industry is boring, I would like to introduce something new but I have no really good ideas just yet. Have you thought about any general areas? I know you said you weren't sure, but I mean generally.

What kind of Canadian cartoons have you watched? Or British ones other than Danger Mouse?

Glad to hear you like metal. I like quite a bit of it. Among other stuff. Mostly indie.

Hey do you play any sports? I love sports. I have just been getting into American Football. It seems pretty complicated. I haven't decided if I like it or not yet. It seems interesting anyway. I heard a lot of American men have played football in high school, did you by any chance?

Here's a question I keep hearing a lot in America: If you could have a dinner party and invite 3 people... anyone you want... living or dead... who would it be? Myself, I picked Vaclav Havel, Robo Kazik, [[Homos|Ernest Hemingway]] and [[Michael Snyder|Golda Meir]]. I know that's 4... yes I cheated. And you?

Do you own a gun? It seems like a lot of people here do. I'm not judging on it or anything, I'm just curious. A lot of people seem to have them. Would you ever buy one? I never thought about it myself, but one of my friends suggest I come out with her to the shooting range.

Oh, and my brother was a bit curious about your artistic process, what goes through the head of an artist when he is thinking of what to draw?

My dad got your email by the way, he let me know today that he received it. He says he is going to have his assistant look it over the start of the business day. He was really excited about the prospect of hiring an American at his company.

Glad you are looking forward to the house-warming party. It is going to RULE!!!!! I can't wait. As for what to bring... I dunno, what do Americans usually bring to parties? We do need to get some [[alcohol]]. Would you mind picking it up? It's just that most of us are under 21. If you are worried about it say no. I love America but it has some pretty [[Zapina|dumb laws]].

Anyway, back to the books... again :(

Have fun talking to my dad or his assistant :)

Mám rád zozadu,
Regina}}

''Mám rád zozadu'' translates to "I like it doggystyle", a bizarre mix of czech and slovak with the verb "mám rád" (I like) used in it's masculine form, and the "sex in general seems like a waste of time in my opinion" was likely either a translation error or her messing with Chris.
This and later evidence points to her being a potential troll.

====Chris wants sex, played football with girls====
{{EmailReply|I wouldn't really call myself a filmmaker, but I have created some documentry-like films that are on the DVD and saved as video files on my [[PS3]], along with the newer videos I created since then. In a nutshell, the DVD is essentially the videos I put together, the two TV News Segments I was portrayed in, and slideshows of still photos and pics with good tunes and a pretend Radio Show I created onto Audio Cassette over a decade ago. It's more or less sort of a "Best Of" type of thing. I have a Sony HD TV, about 40 or 46" wide.

In my humble opinion, I am okay with sex before marriage too. I do not feel that it is a waste of time; I feel the intercourse between loving couples who deeply care about each other is truly special, and is essentially a truly magical connection between them. Although as for those who may not feel like that during intercourse, they still get sensations that just feel totally awesome between each other.

I have not been to Europe, and I can learn more about the Czech Republic from your point of view in addition to what you've previously shared with me. :) I do not currently have a favorite location in Europe, but if I had the chance, I would enjoy visiting the other countries. Although, I would like to visit England and Japan; England being the origin of [[Barb|my mother]]'s half of the family, and I'd like to sample more of the video games only available in Japan, and see their technology that the US doesn't have yet. IDK about [[Bob|my father]] being able to take in any [[alcohol]] at his age, but I know he would appreciate the gesture, and I can get a chance to sample the slivovich for myself with you. :)

You have made some good choices in your possible carrer pursuit. :) Perhaps you and I can put our minds together and make either one happen for you. As for me, something in [[Art]]istry or Comic Publications is one idea of mine, or maybe use my [[CADD]] degree and go into designing or something.

One Canadian cartoon I can recall the name of right-off is [[Wikipedia:Bob and Margaret|Bob and Margaret]], and there was this one of two short cartoons that featured this blue dog who gets adopted into a family who is danger prone with lots of accidents; the dog protects his family and the baby.

I like [[Bionic|Basketball]], Volleyball and Baseball, and I have ice skated at the rink at the Downtown Mall. I've played football for a short while at High School, but I was not all that into it. And during that time in the P.E. class, I was placed on special request on the girl's team, which was better; I did not care to be tackled or rough-housed like they did on the boy's team. Football is okay; I'm just not all that into it.

I would invite [[Britney Spears]], [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]] and [[Wikipedia:Amy Jo Johnson|Amy Jo Johnson]] (the original Pink Ranger on the "Mighty Morphin' [[Power Rangers]]"). For my fourth, though, I would invite [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

I do not currently own a real gun, but I have had target practice in video games like "Duck Hunt" (NES) and on a few Wii games too; I'm fairly good. I may consider buying a gun, but not right now.

My artistic process... I think of story pieces, I note them, and when I draw them up, I add more to them; beginning and end (or middle and either if the piece is beginning or end). There are more details, but I'm not sure how to phrase them at this time. But mostly, it just comes to me. :)

I would be happy to bring some beer or wine to the party; just let me know which brand of beer (or white wine) strikes y'all's fancy good.

I gtg for now; [[ShowerClean|I need a shower.]] I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Love and Peace,
Chris.}}
====Regina confirms asexuality====
{{Email|Ok, sorry I guess I misunderstood what you meant by making a DVD. So this is like a series of short films and a collection of other stuff.

So you were on the news? How did you manage that? What were you on the news for?

Oh wow, you have a big TV. It must be pretty good for video games. I
have never had a TV that big.

Ok, maybe some people are into the whole [[sex]] thing. But personally I
have no interest. I think bothering with something like that would
distract me from other more important social relationships. More
importantly it would probably distract me from improving myself. That
energy could be put to good use for a lot of other things. And I
doubt it would really change much. If you care for a person then sex
shouldn't be so important. Just an option. A lot of people seem to
think that having sex will change things. I would bet a lot of money
that it doesn't.

That is too bad that your dad can't drink any Slivovica. I guess I
can still try to smuggle some in and you can try it. It is best to
try the original Czech stuff. They say Slivovica is good for your
health and helps you live longer. Europe really is the best place to
go. A lot of Americans came to Prague looking for adventure and they
always found it. I know a bunch of them who actually settled down in
the Czech republic and got married or started new careers.

Thanks for the input on my possible career choices. What have you
been doing in the way of starting your business related to artistry or
design? Oh, speaking of which, have you talked much to my dad? He
loves America but I hope he is not being a weirdo about it. Or maybe
you spoke to his assistant.

So what reasons do you have for inviting Britney Spears, Pamela
Anderson and Amy Jo Johnson to your dinner party? What is your
motivation for having them there? What kind of questions would you
ask them? Why only media personalities? I'm very intrigued and
curious.

So you might buy a [[gun]] in the future? What kind of gun do you think
you would buy? Would you be getting it for protection or sport? What
exactly do you think about gun control? Personally I don't care
either way. I have never owned one but my father is an avid hunter.
He was a sharpshooter when he did his military service.

I really don't know what kind of wine is good. Do you have any
recommendations? The girls need wine. I think most of the guys who
are coming will be bringing their own beer. I am responsible for
getting the girls drunk so I need someone to bring the white wine.

Very interesting info about your art process. Do you have a full
story arc planned and fill in little pieces or do you make them up as
you go along? What inspires you to draw these particular elements?
What kinds of symbols are you using in your art? I'm curious to see
what elements are symbolic of certain things I may not be catching. I
am not good at picking up on symbols when reading. Here's one thing I
was wondering, do your characters all have first, middle and last
names? Like is [[Sonichu]] just Sonichu or is he Mr. XXXXX XXXXX Sonichu. Or maybe Sonichu is his first name?

By the way I saw your video on Kacey. Everything you said was pretty
sweet but if you want to win her back you might want to just jump in
and tell her to come back to you. Girls love guys who can be strong
and tell them what they want. I bet if you are way more assertive
then she will see and admire that. It will probably make this other
guy [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit his pants]] with fear too. I hope I am not out of place saying
that, I just thought I would offer my womanly opinion. I hope it was
of some help.

Hope everything else is great. :)

Peace and love as you say... or mier a láska as we would say in my
language. Oh, and here's one thing I want to teach you too. You
should start conversations with na zdar. It is a really cheerful
Czech greeting. It means "I wish you well" and it sounds really cool.

Ty kokot,
Regina}}

Key to understanding Regina: ''Ty kokot'' means "you cock", with the social impact of calling him a cunt. She likely uses this to mess with Chris, without him knowing it.

====Chris weasels out of a job that is handed to him without reservation====

{{EmailReply|I have been busy with my Sonichu stuff and other things. I have recently found peace of mind with [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|the arrival of my Copyright Registeration Certificate from the VA Library of Congress for Sonichu]]. I am in work on making a presentation video and getting in touch with companies to make the merchandise and copies of my books and DVD.

Also, I apologize for not getting back to your father on the website job; I have thought a lot about it after reading the details his secretary e-mailed to me. I feel that is beyond my html skills, I apologize for that. But he can go onto websites like monster.com and find resumes for people who have exceptional html skills and such.

Please foward ''[sic]'' that paragraph and my humble apologies and regards to him for me; I have misplaced his address.

I have more e-mails to check, so I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

====Regina tried to get it through his damn dirty skull====

{{Email|Hey Christian,

I think you may have misread the description. The HTML skills are
just something basic, to make sure that people are familiar with the
medium. They need someone to write articles. Specifically articles
about gaming and technology. They just increased the salary too
because they can't find anyone to do it. It's at the point where they
need someone pretty badly, if you have some specific time requirements
or whatever you can let them know, but they will be flexible with it.
Along the lines of 10 articles a month shouldn't be too difficult.
You really should talk to Marketa and my dad again [REDACTED]

Anyway, how is everything else? Good to hear about your [[copyright]].
How did things work out with [[Kacey|Kacee]]?

Later,
Regina.}}

====Chris mad====
{{EmailReply|Gaming and technology articles? I thought your father was working in Ceramics.

Kacey went and married the brown-striped impostor who pretended to be me; his YouTube name is [[CChanSonichuCWC]].}}

====Further attempts from Regina to offer a dream job====
{{Email|Wow, that really, really sucks. Some people have pretty bad judgment. Did she explain why? Don't be too upset, there are [[I Got A Fish|plenty of fish in the sea]].

Yes, my dad does make ceramics. But this is a NEW company. He is
trying to branch out into different areas to do with media and
technology because he is afraid that industrial products could one day
be all the domain of countries with poorer workforces. He wants to be
secure in the future and thinks getting into the tech industry is the
way to go. But they need someone who knows gaming and modern
technology AND is well spoken to kick off this first project. I guess
his assistant didn't explain it all too well.}}

Chris of course, ignored her. Proving that he couldn't care less about getting off the [[tugboat]].

====Regina resumes contact...====
{{Email|Anye new and fascinating news?

I bought a PSP. It is great for those stopovers on my flights to the
Czech Republic.}}

====And opens the floodgates of boring conversation====
{{EmailReply|That's neat; which model is it, because if it is a 2000, 3000 or [[PSP]] Go, you and I can talk to each other over Skype between our PSPs; ORIGINAL 1000 models are not [[Wikipedia:Skype|Skype]]-Capable.

Also, I have been busy with my Sonichu stuff; I've just drew 4 pages and answered a bunch of fanmail on the [[Cwcipedia]]. But I am safe and well, thank you. :)

What do you say to setting up a dinner-date between you and me one day next week? This time, I'll come and pick you up, and I'll bring you back home on time safe.

I'll TTYL, XOXOXO,
Christian.}}

====Regina dodges the would-be gropefest...====
{{Email|It is the PSP 3000 slim and bright or whatever it is called. I need to find some good games for it.

Glad to hear you are keeping busy. Me too. My studies are driving me
overboard. I think I will go nuts. I have had to reach out and help
my dad too since his new enterprise is going nowhere.

I really don't think a dinner date is a good idea given my total work
overload. Sorry to say it's email for now!

What else is new?}}

====And gets even more bored with answers to questions nobody asked====
{{EmailReply|One good place to look for a start is in the Playstation Store on the [[Playstation Network]]. This can be done on your [[PC]] or even on your [[PSP]]. If you haven't done so yet, you can create an account for yourself on your PSP, and download the most current version of MediaGo onto your PC from http://store.playstation.com. You can browse the store for downloadable games, demos and videos. Some content requires a one-time purchase; you may use your debit/credit card, or you may go to the local [[Best Buy]], Sam's Club or GameStop and buy some PSN Cards with increments of 10, 20 or 50 dollars. Should you decide to use a debit/credit card directly, be warned that there will be an additional dollar put on hold for a while to verify the card. Funds can be added under "Account Management" on your PSP, or on MediaGo, under "Transaction Management" then "Transfer Funds" There, you can add increments of 5, 10, 20, 50 or even the maximum limit of the grand total in the PSN wallet of 150. And if you don't have enough in the virtual wallet, you will be prompted to add the difference from your card at checkout. There are games Exclusively for Download Only from the Playstation Store, so feel free to read all the details for each title. They even have PSOne classics playable on both Playstation 3 and PSP.

I also highly reccomend investing in a 16 GB Memory Stick Pro Duo, which is available at [[Best Buy]] or [[Wal-Mart]], which at average is currently priced at around [[Chris and money|$100]].

And, of course, [[GameStop]] is a drive-to destination for reccomended PSP UMD titles, which works for you since you have a PSP with a UMD drive (versus the PSP Go which does not have a UMD drive).

I have been a loyal PSN account holder and customer since I bought my PS3 back in March, [[2007]].

But I digress. I am safe and well, thank you. :) I am still hanging with my family and working on [[Sonichu]]. BTW, I am currently looking for people to video-interview (to be uploaded onto my [[YouTube]]) for their views on Sonichu and expanding business-wise with merchandise and such. If you have some friends who know Sonichu from my [[Cwcipedia]], please ask them for me if they will volunteer their time. I would appreciate it very much. And your opinions count too, and if you are willing to volunteer yourself, I would appreciate that too.

I'll TTYL,
Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

====Regina tries to be helpful====
{{Email|Hey!

That's pretty interesting. I talked to a few friends and contacts who
knew about Sonichu (I never realised how widespread it was, I thought
it was a bit more underground) and I have come up with about 10 (maybe
more) people who are all very keen on being interviewed. How many
people are you willing to accept? How much knowledge of Sonichu do
they have to have and do they need a webcam or is audio enough? Will
you be doing these interviews over Skype? I don't think I will have
time for an interview myself but what should I tell all these
interested parties?

ČAU!!!!
Regina}}

====Chris promptly tries to get others to do the work for him====
{{EmailReply|Please reply right after you read this. I would prefer in-person interviews with each one with me and my digital camera. Perhaps we can setup the on-the-street interviews for Wednesday or Thursday; I have a deadline of Friday for the full video. I would like to meet at the Downtown Mall by the old fountain (next to the Paramount Theatere) at about 3:00 PM, but please let me know which day is more agreeable between all the volunteers. Thank you soo much, Regina.

If you can find some free time, I'll gladly accept a video MP4 file of you sharing your opinions and thoughts on Sonichu expanding into the merchandise and all. You can film it, upload the file onto a Upload Site Server, send me the link to the video, and I'll download it to be added into the final video.

I'll TTYL,
Cau,
Christian.}}
====Chris is afraid of a little rain====
{{EmailReply|Just to let you know, the filming will have to be on Thursday since it is raining today. As an alternative, your friends may film their opinions and views on Sonichu in Merchandise, upload their files onto an upload server site and send me the links (preferably all links through you to me, so all of the links can be in one message).

Thank you again for your help.
Stay Safe, Cau,
Christian.}}

====???====
{{Email|Ok, I think most, if not all, will have to use the alternative. I just got this message and the other one. Most of the people who want to be filmed don't live in your area, so coming to the mall is out of the question for them. SO you want them to just give their opinions or should I refer them to you to be interviewed via some online method?}}

====Chris still doesn't really give a shit if people aren't doing something for him====
{{EmailReply|I see, please let me know how many of them do live in the area. And please let those in other states know to make the videos of their opinions. I apologize for the inconvience, but their input will be most valued.

To change the subject a bit, are you planning on flying back to your family during the Holiday break? For me, it'll be another stay-at-home with my family thing for me; simple and good.

TTYL,
Cau,
Christian.}}

====Some helpful advice that promptly gets ignored====
{{Email|Hey!

If I could make a bit of a recommendation, companies being pitched a
new product like to be shown the potential for expansion outside the
original fanbase. You should make a large survey of people who are
not familiar with Sonichu so that you can demonstrate how it can be
put into new households. They know that your current fans will buy it
but they need to be shown that it can pick up new buyers. Basic rule
of industry is that if you can't expand, then you should abandon the
project for something that will, otherwise it won't make money.

You should start polling strangers about Sonichu and offer them
something for their time, like a cookie or whatever.

See you later!
Regina}}

''End of contact.''
==References==
<references/>

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Politics]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}
{{emails}}

The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail

2025-12-12T15:41:35Z

HurdyGurdsen:

'''The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail''' was introduced in [[Sub-Episode 7]] of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], wherein Chris sucked on a beverage whilst evading [[jerkop]]s. Numerous [[trolls]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] pointed out that the clumsy artwork make it look like Chris was fellating a big, fat [[pickle|phallus]], playing on his deeply-rooted fear of becoming a [[homos|homo]]. In the time since its creation, the drinking straw has become one of the most recognizable panels from Sonichu due to its absurdly depicted subject matter and overall poor quality signature of Chris's illustrations. Many artists have parodied the enormous straw, often somehow drawing it even bigger than Chris's version for comedic effect.

In the version posted on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris has edited the Oversized Drinking Straw to look slightly less retarded:

[[Image:Chris-Straw-Retcon.JPG|center]]

Chris rarely changes or improves his work post-completion, so the likely reason behind the change is that he realized just how phallic the straw appeared and edited it to maintain his claims of heterosexuality. It's worth noting that even the "new, improved" Drinking Straw is wider than any of cartoon Chris-Chan's fingers or thumbs, and the part above the bend is for some reason narrower than the part below. Also, given the nature of Chris's terrible artwork, it's hard to determine which of the following is correct about his "new" mouth...

'''1: ''Is his mouth wide open?'''''
:If this is the case, it would be impossible to drink in the manner depicted unless you've got vacuum lungs. The drinker's lips have to form an airtight seal around the straw in order to draw liquid up through it.

'''2: ''Has he drawn himself with massive lips?'''''
:Chris's lips may have simply ballooned to an enormous size, giving the impression that he's wearing Maybelline.

Whatever the truth may be, Chris cannot even correct any of his mistakes without finding some other way to screw up in the process.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:Straw.jpg|Like father, like son.
Image:SWEETHEARTS.jpeg|GENTLEMEN.
Image:Slurp1.png|Slurp.
Image:Slurp2.jpg|SLURP!
Image:PVCC_44.png|SLUUUURP!
Image:Asperstraw.png|''[[Asperchu]]'' variant.
Image:Freudslipstraw.png| Could the straw be a euphemism for Chris' own bent [[duck]]?
Image:ChrisVSstrawcanvaspainting.jpg|Serious skills.
Image:Chris_chan_straw.png|Now in ink form.
Image:OversizedStrawDarkRoomPoton.png|Chris drinking from his oversized straw in a poorly-lit room, much like his own.
Image:Bbxczz.png|Also in [[anime]] style.
Image:ChrisChanDevouringHisStraw.jpg|The infamous scene reimagined as a [[parody]] of the {{w|Francisco Goya}} painting ''{{w|Saturn Devouring His Son}}''.
Image:Nighthawks_Straw.jpg|Chris has a drink at the diner from the {{w|Edward Hopper}} painting ''{{w|Nighthawks (painting)|Nighthawks}}''.
Image:IRLSTRAW2.jpg|The meme is real. The meme is real.
Image:IRLSTRAW1.jpg|Complete with mask.
Image:ChrisPoster.jpeg|The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail as seen in a poster for [[Semen|Chris' Frozen Cream]].
Image:IMG_4421.jpg|Now in Liquid Christine form.
</gallery></center>

==See also==

*[[Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu]]
*[[Chris and art]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Oversized Drinking Straw}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

United States of America

2025-12-12T15:40:08Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Quote|"Hail thee, to the president, by gah ... her 'tis of thee..." 
Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Chris's primary thoughts on the USA.]]
[[File:CWCUSA.png|thumb|A recreation of how Chris draws the American flag.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is a citizen and lifelong resident of the '''United States of America''', a federal constitutional republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world. The current president of the United States is [[Donald Trump]].

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the law|very]] [[Monthly tugboat|obviously]] [[Pmurt|contrary]] to these claims.

==Politics==
{{main|Chris and politics}}
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|Chris's DEEPER thoughts on the USA (until becoming [[Transgender]]).]]

===Classic Era===

At a glance, Chris's initial sense of politics seemed very inconsistent; on some issues, he took a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or any class, or America, or the world, but rather [[Chris and his ego|what's good for Chris]]. As such, he was against gay marriage because he hated da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him".<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supported abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate".<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Barack Obama]] in 2008 and 2012.

{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}

Chris didn't react well in situations where he absolutely had to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]?<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seemed to be easily persuaded on matters that he didn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often came across like a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion that most recently lodged itself into his head. His frequency of vacillating his opinion about President Obama is a good example of this; he first parroted what [[Bob|his father]] had told him about it, then he changed his mind because of a documentary, and then he reverted his opinion because of his father again.

===Modern Era===

Chris's political stances became both more consistent and left-leaning as the 2010's continued. This is likely a blend of his worldview changing with his new adopted gender identity and also the passing of Bob, leaving him with no omnipresent conservative voice to sway him. By the time of the 2016 presidential elections, Chris had become a vocal [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrat]]. He does remain largely self-serving in his outlook however, he now ardently supports LGBTQ initiatives, though he at first still stuck to his dislike of gay men (rendering his support disingenuous at best) until 2015. His financial woes have also made politics related to welfare and state support a focus for him but he never forms thoughts on the subject beyond the vague belief that one party or the other is inherently good. Like many things with Chris, his outlook on politics is unbridled by civility or even common sense. In November 2016, Chris went so far as to openly call for the assassination of president-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], something even the most die-hard liberal politico would consider madness to say aloud.

==Understanding of government==
{{Main|Chris and politics}}

[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|What Chris's ideas actually amount to in [[Chris and reality|reality]].]]

Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] as a whole, is very tenuous. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|[[Chris and money|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.]]|Chris, [[Honor roll|being wrong]].<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back to the economy via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that, in the USA, sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to be totalitarianism and ideally to be the one running it, allowing him to enforce his deranged fantasies on the American populace:

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris.<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>}}

The facts that this would neither help the country in any way nor be even remotely possible to put into practice are not ones Chris considers important. Chris's reasoning is simply that since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen. Similarly, since he is uncomfortable with gays personally, every single gay person in the country must be forced into a heterosexual lifestyle.

Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely futile for myriad reasons, but two are most pressing: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[Chris and religion|religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately act as instruments of his will. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else.

== Chris on patriotism ==
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on Chris's batshit insane claim that insulting him means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[The Classic|favorite shirt]].]]

In the above statement, the central flaw in Chris's reasoning is displayed - the belief [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] satirizes ''him'', they insult ''all'' U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional "utopia"]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a façade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve.

His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.

However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has contrived of a highly dubious ancestry for himself, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen"]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he fails spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.
{{-}}

==Chris for President?==
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[CWCville|promised America]].]]

In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined what he would do if he were elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half]], build "soup hotels", give [[Merried Seinor Comic|senior citizens]] increased funds for medications and special services, [[Sonichu Special 4|restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only]], [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref>

Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob Chandler|senior citizens]] would cost a gigantic amount of money to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half (again thinking that all tax is federally mandated), thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor roll|no knowledge of economics]], he likely assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.

Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which explains the right of American citizens to own a wide array of weaponry can never be infringed. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what types, generally differing on the state level, a flat-out ban on weapons would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Asperchu|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Chris and Race|others.]]

His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, as he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, Chris can [[Fridays After Five|flaunt his depravity]] in public to his heart's content.

While taxes, government spending, gay marriage, and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the Law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a Cyber Crime unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing actual criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]], scam artists, hackers, and terrorists, not people who make fun of fat manbabies online.

Chris was also asked in [[Mailbag 55]] to list the laws he would like to see put in place. As well as stating that he wants a ban on smoking, he also wishes for all men to wear a [[muscle bra]] and that all women who are currently in a relationship should be forced to wear a ring. Not only are such laws inane and draconian, but the latter two would also only help [[Chris and his ego|Chris's ego]] and nobody else.

Also, the fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless theoretical millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him on the Internet is proof that Chris is neither a Republican nor Democrat, capitalist or socialist, right-wing or left-wing, authoritarian or libertarian, liberal or conservative, communist or fascist, elitist or egalitarian, individualist or collectivist, religious or secular, extremist or moderate - or really any political stripe at all. [[Chris and politics|His politics truly begin and end with him alone.]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''
*[[Chris and the law]]
*[[TrollBusters]]
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Places}}
{{PoliticalVideos}}
[[Category:Places]] [[Category:Politics]]

ModNation Racers

2025-12-12T15:39:43Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|[[America]]n box art]]

'''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart-racing game for the [[PlayStation 3]], [[PSP of Fail|PlayStation Portable]], and [[PlayStation Vita]] that [[Chris]] took a liking to. It wasn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it was close.

In addition to providing gamers with simple gameplay used in kart racers and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Pokémon|many]] [[Animal Crossing|other]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris could now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart-racing game.

[[Sony]] shut the game's servers down in [[October 2018]].

==Chris's ModNation career==
[[Image:126473378631.JPG|thumb|200px|How Modnation looks in Chris's mind.]]

When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted 25 screencaps of his avatar driving a yellow, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Chris and copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a [[CWCville]] track.

The "Details" section of his profile page read:

{{quotebox|I am Sonichu's and Rosechu's Original Creator, Christian W. Chandler. Only I have the Official Sonichu ModNation Goods and More. Download, 5-Star Vote, and Play them All. Have a Nice Day. :)}}

It was of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he had a large [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fanbase]], barely anybody bothered to download his poorly-designed track, and he whored it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for the "Mystery Mods" (promotional DLC packs included with the pre-ordered copies of the game<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/]</ref>), and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire more trophies. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews.

He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and GameSpot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.

Despite having all the free time in the world to practice his skills, Chris remained mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 1,600+ contests, Chris has won less than a quarter of these (with almost 100 "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finishes," indicating some [[Chris and anger|tard-rage]] present).

Additionally, a number of his characters show they have been used in 0 races even days after their creation, meaning even Chris didn't even bother to use his own creations.

==Forum posts==
[[File:ModNationRacers profile.png|400px|thumb|right|Chris's profile.]]
Chris made several posts in the ''MNR'' forums in 2011-12. Most notable was his claim to be "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|famous online]]" in a bid to get downloads for his PlayStation Vita mods.<ref>[http://community.eu.playstation.com/t5/user/viewprofilepage/user-id/548189]</ref>

===Re: Mod and Kart of the week submission for ModNation Monday Blogs===
25 [[November 2011]]
{{quotebox|I've put my photos onto my Flickr account. Creator PSN name: Sonichu Creation Name: Sodium One Soldier and Salt Shooter Tank. http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischansonichu/5206996798/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischansonichu/5206996802/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischansonichu/5206996806/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischansonichu/5206996812/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrischansonichu/5206996814/ }}

===Download My Vita Goods.===
18 [[March 2012]]
{{quotebox|I am famous online, as well as my [[PS3]] Sonichu, [[Rosechu]] and Cwcville Mods, Karts and Tracks, yet my Vita goods aren't being sought after equally.

Please download ALL of my goods on Vita in the Road Trip.

PSN: Sonichu
Keyword Search: Sonichu

Have a good day.}}

===Re: Mod Postcards: Show Us What You've Got [ Edited ]===
20 [[March 2012]]

{{quotebox|[[File:Chris cart.png]]
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Me and my Sonichu}}

===Re: ModNation Racers: Road Trip (KARTS / MODS) - "San Diego Studio Faves" Submissions===
29 [[March 2012]]

{{quotebox|[[File:Chris cart.png]]

PSN: Sonichu
Mod: Sonichu
Kart: Sonichu's Kart
Tracks: City of Cwcville (Five Track Set)

All of whch, and more, are available for download on Vita and PS3.}}

==Gallery==

{{collapsible
|Beta screen caps|<gallery perrow="4">
File:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.
File:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate
File:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]]
File:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation characters|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris
File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]]
File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]]
File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]]
File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Lego|The Infomaniac]]
File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]]
File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]]
File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]]
File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]]
File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]]
File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]]
File:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| [[Count Graduon]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbit.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]]
File:ModNation PattiChan.jpg| [[Patti-Chan]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation PrincessClara.jpg|Princess Clara
File:ModNation FoxxyLove.jpg|Foxxy Love
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|A basketball player from Chris' [[Manchester High School|high school]]
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|...and a [[Laura_Beth_Dorazio|cheerleader]] to pair him off with.
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player.
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|...and someone to pair him off with.
File:ModNation Bionic.jpg|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|A [[Transformers|Transformer]](?) wearing a [[Manchester High School|Manchild High]] shirt
File:ModNation PaRappa.jpg|[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
File:ModNation TiaraBoobowski.jpg| [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Sonic the Hedgehog franchise|Tiara Boobowski]]
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg| [[Son-Chu]]
File:ModNation TrollMale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Male devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Female devil troll]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterCal.jpg| Fighting trolls everywhere with [[The Creepy Stare|the creepy stare]]
File:ModNation TrollbusterDeeDee.jpg| ...And Sarah Palin, apparently.
File:ModNation TrollbusterTee.jpg| Laziest character design, EVER!
File:ModNation Y2KChrisChan.jpg| Chris from the year [[2000]].
File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg| <s>ModNation Racers, the best way to express your love for [[Jackie|someone.]]</s> DELETED sometime after the "breakup".
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg| [[Sailor Megtune|...creepy,]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing]] love. But love none the less!
File:ModNation_XBox360ko.jpg| [[Hex Box]]!
File:ModNation_PS3mi.jpg| [[PS3]].
File:ModNation LordIlPalzzo.jpg| [[ScotPalazzo|Lord Palzzo]] from [[Excel Saga]].
File:ModNation BlackSonichu.jpg| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. Take note that he was added to ModNation Racers [[Racism|long after his wife was]].
File:ModNation PSMoveMotion.jpg| [[Nintendo|<s>Wiimote</s>]] [[PS3|Sony Move controller.]]
File:ModNation SodiumOneSoldier.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Sodium One Soldier]
File:CWC Psychlight.png| [[CWC Psychlight]]
File:ModNationCrystal.jpg| A [[Tomgirl Pictures|drag racer.]]
File:Trophyguy.png|A human [[PSN]] trophy.
File:Mgson.png|''[[Metal Gear]]'' [[Sonichu]]
File:TomgirlMNR.png|[[Tomgirl Saga|Chris at 30.]]
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Chris's ModNation cars|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu
File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too!
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]]
File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels
File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels
File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|
File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|Nothing to see here
File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|Not [[gay]] at all.
File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included
File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|<s>A casket</s>]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Nintendo Wiimote]]
File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| [[Nudes|Au "Naturel"]]
File:ModNation Prowler.jpg| [[Prower|Prowler]]
File:ModNation CountGraduonScepter.jpg| Count Graduon's [[Sex toys|Scepter]]
File:ModNation AmericanRabbitsskates.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'s rollerskate
File:ModNation Foxxy5..jpg| A van featured in the series [[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichuKart.jpg|A kart for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
File:ModNation Arwing.jpg|[[Wikipedia:Star Fox (series)#Arwing|Another game franchise ruined by Chris...]]
File:ModNation ManchesterHighShortBus.jpg|[[Slow-in-the-minds|The short bus]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersTruck.jpg| Who you gonna call? The [[Trolls|Troll]][[Ghostbusters|Busters!]]
File:ModNation TrollbustersCar.jpg| Perfect for running over those [[B-Manajerk|pesky]] [[Michael Snyder|trolls.]]
File:ModNation BombDeliveryRobot.jpg| Of all the robots from [[Excel Saga|this show]], he makes this instead of the gynoids.
File:ModNation PSMoveNavigator.jpg| So much for [[The MovingFoward videos|"moving forward"]]
File:ModNation SaltShooterTank.jpg| [http://www.sodiumone.com/en/ Salt Shooter tank]
File:ModNationTomgirlTomboy.jpg| A car with [[Transgender|gender identity issues]]
File:Trophy kart.png|Trophy Emmy
File:Tbcar.png|[[TrollBusters]] car
File:SC12.png|[[Son-Chu]], 2012 edition.
File:Cwckart.png|CWChan Sonichu Kart
File:Cwckart2.png|CWC's Sonichu Kart
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|"Tour de CWCville" ModNation tracks|<gallery perrow="4">
File:CWCvilleTrackCity.jpg| [[CWCville|Downtown]]
File:CWCvilleTrackPark.jpg| [[McIntire Park|CWCville Park]]
File:CWCvilleTrackForest.jpg| [[Rape|CWCville Forest]]
File:CWCvilleTrackMountain.jpg| CWCville Mountains
File:CWCvilleTrackBeach.jpg| [[Sonichu 8#Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008!"|CWCville Beach]]
File:ModNationCity.jpg| ModNation City
File:Trophytrack.png|A track shaped like a trophy
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res character mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNationRacers.JPG|[[Jackie]].
File:ModNationRacers 1.JPG|Chris expects Jackie to walk around in a T-shirt that says "Chris Loves Jackie". Might have as well said "Property of Chris-chan".
File:ModNation Racers 108.JPG|[[Patti Chandler|Patti]]. If the 2D shot was passable, the actual 3D model is creepy.
File:ModNation Racers 109.JPG|Dog tails don't work that way.
File:ModNation Racers 121.JPG|Duuuuuude.
File:ModNation Racers 110.JPG|Chris: "Hi! Wanna go to my treehouse and have sex?"
File:ModNation Racers 111.JPG|[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], with a painted-on face.
File:ModNationRacers 226.JPG|Sonichu, with a painted-on tail.
File:ModNation Racers 112.JPG|[[Rosechu]], a deer in Chris's headlights.
File:ModNationRacers 227.JPG|Rosechu's back.
File:ModNationRacers 113.JPG|[[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 114.JPG|[[Angelica Rosechu|Angelica]], very scared of Chris.
File:ModNationRacers 115.JPG|[[Wild Sonichu|Wild]], in middle of learning the theory of advanced [[mass debating]] techniques.
File:ModNationRacers 116.JPG|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]], having finally activated the satellite dishes under his ears.
File:ModNationRacers 117.JPG|[[Magi-Chan]], using his superior intellect and psychic powers to detect that particularly remarkable good young man's ass.
File:ModNationRacers 118.JPG|Magi-Chan uses his knowledge of modern Internet vernacular for a bit of "ಠ_ಠ", as the kids nowadays call it.
File:ModNation Racers 119.JPG|[[Count Graduon]], demoted from the series's primary villain to a recolored watermelon.
File:ModNation Racers 122.JPG|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], like Magi-Chan, has a bit of trouble staying straight, when his ass-detection is working too well.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res vehicle mods|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 123.JPG|Built for Zapping to the Extreme®.
File:ModNationRacers 124.JPG|Sonichu's carsona.
File:ModNation Racers 125.JPG|Chris grinning at his mostly orange creation.
File:ModNation Racers 126.JPG|Rosechumobile is very pink, and with a very powerful engine.
File:ModNationRacers 127.JPG|Chris checking out Punchy's car - a thoughtful gesture, considering he'll probably never really use it.
File:ModNation Racers 128.JPG|For clarity, Chris advocates actual tea parties. Not the Tea Party.
File:ModNationRacers 129.JPG|Chris states he's a "tough, hetero man". However, putting "dammit" in the license plate kinda ruins this testosterone-fueled design.
File:ModNation Racers 130.JPG|The cars are truly multi-functional designs; gaudy colors on outside ''and'' inside.
File:ModNation Racers 131.JPG|Solar power and ship's wheel.
File:ModNation Racers 132.JPG|A big purple [[duck]] powered by Graduation nightmares.
File:ModNation Racers 136.JPG|Chris is happy because this is a truly [[Son-Chu|familiar design]].
File:ModNation Racers 137.JPG|Completely authentic, all the way to the weird engine noises!
File:TG2.jpg|Cue glam metal background music.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|High-res race shots|<gallery perrow="4">
File:ModNation Racers 140.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 141.JPG
File:ModNation Racers 145.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 206.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 207.JPG
File:ModNationRacers 223.JPG
</gallery>}}

==See also==
* [[Hot Wheels]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==

*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100725091535/https://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Archive of Chris's ModNation profile]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20160405163648/https://roadtrip.modnation.com/en-us/players/sonichu Archive of Chris's ModNation Road Trip profile]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Song for Jackie.MOV

2025-12-12T15:39:23Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Manipulation}}
{{Honest}}
[[File:128469211411.jpg|thumb|right|The greatest show on Earth.]]

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]] on 16 [[September 2010]]. At [[Jackie]]'s direction, Chris dons a turban and puts on blackface to resemble {{w|Mr. Popo}} from ''[[Dragon Ball]]'' and [[Chris and music|"sings"]] '''"Heavenly-Matched Love"''',<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> his version of "{{w|Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm}}" by the {{w|Crash Test Dummies}}. Chris changes the lyrics greatly from the original song, turning it from a meaningful '90s alt-pop tune about the isolation of children with abnormal lives, to one where he warbles off-key about a boy and a [[gal-pal]] falling in love. Then, he rounds out the performance with a {{w|Minstrel show|minstrel song}} adapted from the Spike Lee movie ''{{w|Bamboozled}}'', his [[manboobs]] flailing wildly with each gyration.

==Video==
{{quotebox|Attention, I am portraying the Dragonball Character, Mr. Popo.

I am not, [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|nor would ever]], making fun of any [[Chris and Race#Black people|black people]] living, [[Chris and death|dead]] or fiction. Nor am I [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy|making fun of the Hindu people]]. Both of which, Blacks and Hindus, are good people too.

Again, this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus. It is only a video for my girlfriend to cosplay as Mr. Popo from the Dragonball Television Series.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song For Jackie
| ytid = N06ImNoXss4
| stardate = 16 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|"Comedy"}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[XBox is OK.MOV]]
| next = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}
{{quote|No Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle No Saiyans on de fiddle like this!}}
=== Transcript ===
[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|♫ Mammy, I'm home from Alabammy! ♫]]
[[File:PopoWTF.jpg|thumb|Mr. Popo, a ''[[Dragon Ball]]'' character who Chris was trying to impersonate in this video.]]

[''fake-sounding accent''] 'Ello. I am [[glasses]]-wearing genie, Mr. Popo! [''nods and folds his arms, then turns on audio''] I tell you a story. It is a good story. You will enjoy story.

[''plays "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm", then starts "singing" '']
:Once, there was this boy [''flashes manboobs''] who
:Was born with some autism and yet, made a few friends.
:But after his [[high school]] years,
:He...[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|lost]]...his [[gal pals|friends]] and was [[Chris and stress|troll-tortured]]
:By [[Trolls|bullies]] who were jealous
:[[Chris and his ego|of his material things]] [''wiggles his head from side to side and waggles his finger''] Nonononononono.
:Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmmmmm mmm mmmmmm...mmmmm...

:Once, there was this girl who
:Continued to have friends long after high school.
:She could have had her pick of men,
:But then, she found the wayward lost boy.
:They matched up very well, [[:File: SchuComic10P09.jpg|heavenly matched]]...
:Loooove, it was so!
:Mmmmmmmmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm...mmmm...
:Mmmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

:And both [''starts to say 'boy', turns it into 'girl'''] [[Tomgirl|boirl]] and boy were glad
:When they both saw each other's eyes.
:When they met up!
:They both thought of each other. Very often!
:They had enjoyed each other's company
:Sweetly, oh, rollercoaster ecstasy.
:In fantasy, their days were simple
:And! They looked to be married and have their own [[Reginald Chandler|boy]]
:And [[Crystal|girl]]. It's true!

:Wait for [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|marriage invitations]]! Mmm mmm mmm, mmm...mmmmmmmmmm...
:Mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm...

[''Suddenly animated, imitating fiddle player'']
:Ay-and there ain't no Saiyans on de [[Gitar of Fail|fiddle]],
:No Saiyans on de fiddle like this!
:Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle
:No Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

[''begins to dance what is most likely a continuation of whatever Minstrel Song he saw; a mockery of African aboriginal dancing'']
:Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
:Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

:And there ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle,
:No Saiyans on de fiddle like this!
:Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle,
:No Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

:Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
:Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

[''spoken''] Happy loving! Between me and Jackie! I love you [[sweetheart]]. [[Bunny Hop|Boing!]]

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Hank Hill Listens to Chris-Chan Sing
| ytid = jHco_-Cwhhw
| stardate = 23 [[March 2013]]
| maker = The3ninjakids
| info = [[Adult Swim|Hank Hill]]'s reaction to "Song for Jackie.MOV"
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's song for Jackie.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Q2PkIGIop-k}}
| stardate = 21 [[September 2010]]
| maker = YeksTimeSoon
| info = Chris's lyrics sung normally over original song
}}

==See also==
* [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
* [[A CWC Audition]]
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|For J-R's Eyes Only]]
* [[Dragon Ball Z]]

{{References}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[XBox is OK.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{JackieSaga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-16]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-16]]
[[Category:Videos featuring dancing]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-09-16]]

Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2025-12-12T15:38:48Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Honest}}
[[File:Jivin.jpg‎|thumb|[[Lars]] is [[Asperchu/Background#Jivin_Pickles|Jivin]].]]

'''Lars Is Jivin'.MP4''' is an [[Chris and race|extremely racist]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[September 2010]], after [[Jackie Chat 3|a discussion]] with [[Jackie]] earlier in the day. In it, he addresses Lars again, comparing a toy boat he sent Jackie to a tape dispenser. Chris then decides the best way to get his point across is to throw the tape at his [[PSEye|camera]]. He removed the video just a few hours after uploading it. He later uploaded a new, longer version on 2 October. The extended edition includes Chris using stereotypical black words such as "yo," "mofo," holding up a picture of a black rapper and then dressing him as a turkey and throwing up gang signs.

Judging by the unusual video format (Chris normally makes videos in .MOV format), and the [[Chris and cinematography|blindingly obvious jump-cuts]], it would appear Chris has actually taken some time to edit this video. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that this was to hide the fact he failed to hit the camera with the tape on the first take.

==Description==
{{quotebox|[[Random-access humor|Nothin' but a jivin' turkey gourd.]]}}

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| ytid = ApWRB4iLKMM
| stardate = 30 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[New Address]]
| next = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''[[Creepy stare|stare]]s [[Chris and anger|angrily]] at camera, cocks head; jump cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaahz. You know--s--you sent her the [[Adult Swim#King of the Hill|dangin' ol']]...BOAT, made out of popsicle sticks...and a weak [[Chris_and_sex#Contraceptives|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''brandishes tape. It appears to be [[wikipedia:Scotch Tape|Scotch]] or a generic store brand''] This your bo--

[''jump cut to Chris throwing the tape at the PSEye; he then turns the felled camera towards him''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''stares off into space for a moment, bewildered.'']

[''Another jump cut and moment of awkward silence''] I'm out, peace!

{{clear}}

==Full version==
Having taken down the original video a few hours after uploading it, Chris uploaded a longer version of the video on 2 [[October 2010]]. While the final part of the video is almost identical to the original short version, Chris has slightly re-edited it.
{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| ytid = -ZGS728lgMM
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[I like Mary Poppins]]
| next = [[100 2265]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|You even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats you didn't even own! You paid for [[PSN|a whole bunch of useless stuff]] you're never going to use anyway, you jivin' turkey!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[ There is a 'sproing' noise as Chris activates the camera. He frowns and begins talking in what he doubtless believes to be a manly baritone.]''

Yo Lars, listen up yo. I got a b- I got a bigger message to tell ya! Imyaghda- I been tellin' you before, I been kinda civil, but I gotta yell it out to ya. [[jackie|JACKIE]] IS OVER YOU! You jivin' turkey! An' I tell you somethin', I tell you something' else, yo. She left you because of all the goddamn boats! ''[producing a sheet of paper] ''Now I'll read to you what she told me, and I quote: "You wasted all your money on all them stupid boats!" And you le- and she left you! Because you would ''never''... treat her right or take her out anywhere because of it. ''[Gangsta hand gesture]''

And she got fed up with all the goddamn boats all over the goddamn apartment! ''[garbling somewhat]'' Half of them not even taken out of their package! Because- because you just [[List of Chris's video games|bought them for the sake of buying them]]! ''[puts down the paper and looks outraged]'' I mean, you mofo! You took -you even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats ''you didn't even own!'' [[chris and hypocrisy|You paid for a whole bunch of useless stuff you're never going to use anyway]], you jivin' turkey!

Yeah, right I call you a jivin' turkey, mofo! ''[he produces another piece of paper. This one is folded in half and has a picture of a black rapper on it, although the lighting makes it impossible to distinguish whom]'' And that's what you is, yo, a jivin' turkey! ''[folds over the paper, revealing that he has drawn a roast turkey - which in point of fact, looks far more like a chicken - on the other side. A hole has been cut for the rapper's face, making it look like he is a squash.]'' Jivin', squashed, stupid old turkey! ''[he tears the paper asunder, and vacuums the shreds up, fumbling them somewhat.]''

Down the jivin' yo'self, mofo! ''[Flashes both middle fingers before turning them upside down]'' I tell you somethin' else. You ain't never gonna get her back. She's been LONG over you, [[Chris and race|boy]]! All day long, all week long. She and I are going to be ... '' ['tapping' an imaginary Jackie]'' I be tapping that sweet ass of hers. ''[Continuing to mime]'' I spank her ass because she wants it. She asked me for it! And you know what, she ain't- you ain't gonna get that request no mo', mofo! Jivin' turkey! You ever come near us, I'll ''beat'' yo' ass! ''[as he squeaks 'beat' he punches his hand]'' Beat yo' ass to the whole- the other side of the state of ''[punches his hand a few times, in a likely reference to a Three Stooges skit]'' Texas, where [[Bob Chandler|my dad]] went to, except for a while. [''continues up to transcript above'']

==See also==
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Lars' Ship has Sunk]]
*[[New Address]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[New Address]]|nextlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{JackieSaga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-30]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-02 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-30]]
[[Category:Videos with Camera Abuse]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-09-30]]

Pre-1980

2025-12-12T15:38:31Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This page covers events in the [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]] occurring '''before 1980'''.

==Timeline==
===Before Christ===
*'''c. 13.8 billion years BC''' - Chris is a resident of [[Kidasuna]].<ref name=sandbag>[[KwaiiSandbag calls#Call 1]]</ref><ref>{{w|Big Bang}}</ref>
*'''c. 66 million years BC''' - Chris is [[Banned|exiled]] from Kidasuna to Earth.<ref name=sandbag/><ref>{{w|Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event}}</ref>
*'''c. 3.4 million years BC''' - The Stone Age. You'd have to tell me twice.

===Classical antiquity===
[[Image:July22LastSupperArt2.jpg|thumb|200px|Jesus as depicted by Chris.]]
*'''c. 6 BC – AD 33''' - Approximate life of [[Jesus Christ]].
* '''26 April 121 – 17 March 180''' - Life of [[Marcus Aurelius]].

===Medieval period===
[[Image:Chris on Merlin.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021|Chris on Merlin]]]]
*'''c. 5th-6th centuries AD''' - Approximate life of the mythical British figures [[wikipedia:King Arthur|King Arthur]] and [[wikipedia:Merlin|Merlin]], assuming they existed at all.
*'''c. 1220s''' Birth of Sir Robert Aguillon, father of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf|Isabel Aguillon]]
*'''c. 25 Mar 1258''' Birth of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf|Isabel Bardolf]] (née Aguillon) <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>
*'''c. 29 September 1259''' Birth of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf|Hugh Bardolf]]. <ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bardolf-9</ref>
*'''1281''' Marriage of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf]].
*'''1282''' Birth of Thomas Bardolf, the 6th great-grandfather of [[Anne Boleyn]].
*'''1283''' Birth of Margery Bardolf.
*'''1284''' Birth of William Bardolf.
*'''1286''' Death of Robert Aguillon.
*'''1294''' Birth of Nicola Bardolf. Chris's 18th great-grandmother.
*'''6 February 1299''' Hugh Bardolf becomes Baron Bardolf via Parliment.
*'''c. 20 September 1304''' Death of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf|Hugh Bardolf]].
*'''28 May 1323''' Death of [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf|Isabel Bardolf]].
*'''1389''' - King Arthur [[Thinking with Portals#Merlin's Deal with Chris|commands Merlin to exile all dragons]], dividing the universe in two according to Chris.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref><ref>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021#Chris's Response]]</ref> Note that Chris sees nothing wrong with placing Arthur's reign in the late Middle Ages.
*'''1390s''' - [[Wikipedia:Geoffrey Chaucer|Geoffrey Chaucer]] writes [[wikipedia:The Nun's Priest's Tale|The Nun's Priest's Tale]], one of his [[wikipedia:Canterbury Tales|Canterbury Tales]]. About 600 years later it would be the subject of one of Chris's [[Manchester High Leaks#Canterbury Tales Essay|high school essays]].

===Early modern period===
[[Image:Willam Teer.jpg|thumb|200px|Dr. William M. Teer, Bob's maternal great-grandfather and Confederate veteran.]]
*'''17 April 1442''' - [[Rauma]] is chartered.
*'''c. 1499 – 19 July 1543''' - The life of [[Wikipedia:Mary Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]],<ref>{{w|Mary Boleyn}}</ref> Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref name="KeepUp">[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''c. 1501 – 19 May 1536''' - The life of [[Anne Boleyn]],<ref>{{w|Anne Boleyn}}</ref> Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref name="KeepUp"/>
*'''12 June 1550''' - Foundation of Helsingfors, later known as [[Helsinki]].
*'''1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/35''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref name="KeepUp"/>
*'''10 June 1610''' - John Chandler, Chris's direct male [[Family tree|ancestor]], arrives in [[wikipedia:Jamestown, Virginia|Jamestown, Virginia]] on board the ''Hercules''.<ref>https://www.geni.com/people/John-Chandler-l/6000000008639070482</ref>
*'''1620''' - The ''Mayflower'' sails, allegedly with [[Daniel Weston]] aboard.
*'''30 April 1659''' - Birth of Robert L. Chandler, II
*'''1732''' - Foundation of [[Ruckersville]].
*'''1762''' - Foundation of [[Charlottesville]].
*'''1776''' - [[United States of America|Declaration of Independence]].
*'''15 December 1791''' - The 1st through the 10th [[Manchester High Leaks#Amendment Timeline|Amendments]] to the United States Constitution are ratified.
*'''1805 - Sept 1866'''- Birth of Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler, Chris's great-great-great-grandfather along his direct paternal line.
*'''25 January 1819''' - [[Wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]] founded the [[University of Virginia]].
* '''c. 1820s''' - [[Chandler Family Tree#Francis Weston|Francis Weston]], Barbara's great-great-grandfather along her direct paternal line, immigrates from England to the United States.
*'''24 July 1828''' - [[Western State Hospital]] admits its first patients.
*'''14 April 1832''' - Birth of [[Chandler Family Tree#Joseph Chandler|Joseph Chandler]], Chris's great-great-grandfather along his direct paternal line.
*'''1838''' - [[Cherokian Clan|The Trail of Tears]].
*'''12 April 1861 – 26 May 1865''' - The [[wikipedia:American Civil War|American Civil War]] takes place, and is fought between the Union (the [[United States]] government and the states that remain loyal to it) and the Confederacy (formed from the states that had seceded from the Union, seeking to preserve the enslavement of African Americans). Several of Chris's ancestors (the "[[Chandler Family Tree#Dixiechus|Dixiechus]]") fight in the civil war on the side of the Confederacy. However, despite their efforts, the Yankees [[troll]] the Confederacy out of existence in 1865.
**'''8 May 1861''' - The Confederate States of America names [[Richmond]] as its capital.
**'''1862''' - Bob's maternal great-grandfather, [[Chandler Family Tree#William Teer|William Teer]], contracts hepatitis and suffers serious injuries (including a shattered right arm and a damaged spleen) during the American Civil War, nearly preventing all of Christory a century before it began. However, William would survive his injuries, allowing him to father Mary Francis Teer (Bob's maternal grandmother) a decade later.<ref>https://freepages.rootsweb.com/~dougmay/genealogy/Wmteer.htm</ref>
*'''Sept 1866''' - Death of Reverend Sidney Smith Chandler.
*''' 23 January 1871''' - Birth of Joseph Jeesie Chandler, Bob's paternal grandfather
*'''17 November 1882 – January 1954''' - The life of [[Chandler Family Tree#Robert Wynn|Robert Wynn]], Barbara's maternal grandfather.
*'''3 October 1896''' - Joseph Otto Weston, Barbara's father, is born.<ref>{{Cite web
|url = https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/35862369/joseph-otto-weston
|website = Find a Grave
|title = Joseph Otto Weston
}}</ref>
{{clear}}

===1900s===
In the '''1900s''' decade, Chris's paternal grandparents (Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Hollomon) were born - less than 2 months apart. Chris's maternal grandfather, Joseph Otto Weston, was aged 3-13 in this decade, while his maternal grandmother had not been born yet. This is the last decade in which all of Chris's great-grandparents remained alive throughout.

====Events of the 1900s====
*'''8 February 1906''' - Birth of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr., Bob's father.
*'''28 March 1906''' - Birth of Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother.
*'''29 February 1908''' - [[Chris's education#James Madison University|James Madison University]] is established.

===1910s===
[[Image:John James Hollomon.jpg|thumb|200px|Bob's maternal grandfather, John James Hollomon, in 1910.]]
In the '''1910s''', Chris's youngest grandparent, Carrie Edna Wynn (Bob's mother) was born. The decade also saw the death of Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother and daughter of Confederate Veteran [[Chandler Family Tree#William Teer|William Teer]]. With her death, 7 of Chris's great-grandparents remained alive by the end of the decade.

In this decade, Chris's maternal grandfather Joseph Otto Weston was aged 13-23, his maternal grandmother Carrie Edna Wynn was aged 0-8, and his paternal grandparents - Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Hollomon - were both aged 3-13.

Internationally, the decade saw the outbreak of World War I, in which Joseph Otto Weston participated.

====Events of the 1910s====
*'''7 December 1911''' - Birth of Elmer Thomas Rickman, Barbara's stepfather
*'''15 December 1911''' - Barbara's mother, Carrie Edna Wynn, is born.<ref name=Carrie/>
*'''18 July 1913''' - Birth of [[Red Skelton]].
*'''1914''' - Death of Mary Francis Teer, Bob's maternal grandmother.
*'''28 July 1914 - 11 November 1918''' - [[Manchester High Leaks|World War I]]
**'''December 1917''' - Barbara's father, Joseph Otto Weston is drafted into the United States Army to fight in World War I. <ref name=Joseph>https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:33SQ-GYY1-NWC?i=2974&cc=1968530&personaUrl=%2Fark%3A%2F61903%2F1%3A1%3AK6CB-L6D</ref>
*'''6 December 1917''' - [[Finland]] {{w|Finnish Declaration of Independence|declares independence}} from [[Russia]], marking the date celebrated annually as Finland's independence day.
{{clear}}

===1920s===
[[Image:Bob's birth certificate.png|thumb|200px|Bob's birth certificate]]
{{quote|Bob Chandler was born in the same year the [[TV]] was invented, and lived long enough for his extremely [[autistic]] [[Chris|son]] to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|scream about his house]] being on the internet for millions to see, and for him to unintentionally create one of the greatest moments in internet history.

RIP Bob. It's probably good you didn't live to see [[Affair with Mother|how it all turned out.]]|spaghettimkay5795, 2023<ref>[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riHgBEu3OSk&lc=Ugz-lQrynPZLYkCUhVd4AaABAg</ref>}}
The '''1920s''' saw Chris's paternal grandparents marry one another, both being aged 20 at the time of matrimony. 14 months later, they birthed Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]], who was aged 0-2 in this decade.

Chris's maternal grandfather, Joseph Otto Weston was aged 23-33, while his maternal grandmother Carrie Edna Wynn was aged 8-18. 7 of Chris's great-grandparents lived at the start of this decade, and this number stayed stable throughout.

====Events of the 1920s====
*'''[[Chris's birthday|24 February]] 1920''' - The German Workers' Party is renamed to the National Socialist German Workers' Party - now known as the [[Nazi]] Party.
*'''January 1925''' - Death of [[Chandler Family Tree#Joseph Chandler|Joseph Chandler]].
*'''14 June 1926''' - Bob's parents, Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Hollomon marry in [[Dallas]], Texas. Soon after, Robert and Jean move to Lake City, Florida, where Robert was living at the time of the marriage.
*'''5 February 1927''' - Barbara's parents, Joseph Otto Weston and Carrie Edna Wynn, marry.<ref name=Carrie>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref>
*'''4 September 1927''' - Birth of [[Bob Chandler]] in Fort Worth, Texas <ref name=HarveyPowers/>
*'''7 September 1927''' - {{w|Philo Farnsworth}}'s image dissector camera tube transmits its first image, a simple straight line, at his laboratory in [[Cole Smithey#California (1980-96)|San Francisco]]. This is often credited as the invention of [[television]].
*'''22 July 1928''' - Birth of [[Jimmy Hill]].
*'''23 September 1928''' - Birth of [[Jack Dale Smithey]]
{{clear}}

===1930s===
[[Image:Bob 1938.png|thumb|400px|Bob (highlighted with a red star) alongside other students in the Mignon Methodist church, 1938.]]
{{quote|I have been very interested in the world since I was 10 years old, and that was 70 years ago and, the, uh, I'm very fond of and I really truly believe in the United Nations, but you won't find anybody else in my countryside or around here, I think, that does. (laughing) But anyway, I'm very world conscious.|[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|Bob]], 2009}}

The '''1930s''' comprised most of Bob's childhood, who was aged 2-12 at the time. The decade saw most of Chris's remaining great-grandparents succumb to the sands of time: At the start of the decade 7 remained, but after the death of Victoria Thompson (Barbara's maternal grandmother) in 1935, Martha Headley (Bob's paternal grandmother) in 1937, Sarah Hamilton (Barbara's paternal grandmother) in 1938, and Joseph Edward Weston (Barbara's paternal grandfather) in 1939, only 3 remained. Furthermore, this is the last decade in which all of Chris's grandparents remained alive throughout.

====Events of the 1930s====

*'''1 July 1931''' - Birth of [[Jerry Harmon|Walter "Jerry" Harmon]]
*'''21 March 1932''' - The {{w|1932 Deep South tornado outbreak}} occurs. Bob's great-uncles John and Rufus are killed instantly when it strikes John's farm
*'''30 January 1933''' - Establishment of [[Nazi]] Germany.
*'''1933''' - Bob's family move to Sylacauga, Alabama from Garland, Texas.
*'''26 January 1934''' - Birth of [[Aunt Corrina]].
*'''1935''' - Bob begins collecting stamps.
*'''31 July 1935''' - Birth of [[Minor Family Members#Raymond Inge|Raymond Boyd Inge]]
*'''27 December, 1939''' - Birth of [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]].
{{clear}}

===1940s===
[[Image:BarbWhenWeWereYoungSchool1.jpg|thumb|200px|Barbara as a toddler]]
[[Image:Bob Chandler 1945.png|thumb|200px|Bob Chandler (left) as a Boy Scout in 1945.]]
{{quote|The war was a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!|Chris on World War II, late 1990s<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay]]</ref>}}

The '''1940s''' saw the birth of Chris's mother [[Barbara]], who was aged 0-8 in this decade, while Bob was aged 12-22 and graduated high school. At the start of the decade, 3 of Chris's great-grandparents were alive. After the sands of time swallowed Bob's paternal grandfather Joseph Chandler in 1947, John Hollomon and Robert Wynn - Bob and Barb's maternal grandfathers respectively - were the last men standing.

Furthermore, with the death of Chris's paternal grandmother Jean Hollomon in 1945, only 3 of Chris's grandparents remained.

Internationally, the decade comprised most of World War II and saw the [[United States]]' entry into the war, with Bob's father Robert Franklin Chandler participating.

====Events of the 1940s====

*'''1 October 1941''' - Birth of [[Barbara Chandler]].<ref name=HarveyPowers>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>
*'''28 October 1942''' - Birth of Thomas Eugene Ashby, husband of Barbara's sister, Harriett Ashby.
*'''20 November 1942''' - Birth of [[Joe Biden]]
*'''1943''' - [[Wikipedia:Leo_Kanner|Leo Kanner]] releases a report on a group of children with similar behavior which Kanner calls early infantile autism, thus giving Autism its modern sense in English.
*'''Spring 1945''' - Bob graduates from Sylacauga High School in Sylacauga, Alabama.
*'''16 April – 2 May 1945''' - The [[Russia|Soviet Union]] wins the [[wikipedia:Battle of Berlin|Battle of Berlin]], destroying [[Nazis|Nazi Germany]] and ending World War II in Europe.
**'''30 April 1945''' - Suicide of Adolf Hitler. His main assistant will later be reincarnated as [[Beel]] and troll Chris within [[C-197]].
*'''10 May 1945''' - Death of Jean Hollomon, Bob's mother.
*'''Fall 1945 - Spring 1946''' - Bob attends his freshman year at Auburn University according to the Auburn University 1946 yearbook. He majors in Aeronautical Engineering.
*'''14 June 1946''' - Birth of [[Donald Trump]].
*'''6 July 1946''' - Birth of [[George W. Bush]].
*'''18 July 1946''' - Bob is drafted into the U.S. Army and is stationed in [[:File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|Korea]] with the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]].<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0mLPSHWdZc</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
*'''24 November 1946''' - Birth of [[Bundychu|Ted Bundy]].<ref>{{w|Ted Bundy}}</ref>
*'''9 January 1947''' - Harriett Ashby, Barb's sister, is born.<ref name=Ashby>https://web.archive.org/web/20170603120855/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d150.html</ref>
*'''April 1948''' - Bob is discharged from the Army after a 21-month tour of duty.
*'''15 June 1948''' - Birth of [[Rocky Shoemaker]].
*'''Fall 1948''' - Bob enters Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, Alabama in order to study Pre-Engineering.
*'''1949''' - The [[Lego]] Group first begins manufacturing its titular brand of building blocks.
{{clear}}

===1950s===
[[Image:Bobauburn1951.PNG|thumb|Bob's 1951 Auburn junior yearbook photo.]]
[[Image:BarbaraCheerleader.jpg|thumb|Barbara in 1958.]]
{{quote|Joseph Otto Weston, 58, a farmer, was killed late Friday when he apparently fell from his horse drawn wagon on a rural road near {{w|Red Oak, Virginia|Red Oak}} {{w|Charlotte County, Virginia|Charlotte County}}. Weston, of Red Oak, was hauling wood. Apparently he fell from the wagon and under a rear wheel. His body was discovered after the driverless horse and wagon turned up at a nearby service station. Dr. P.H. Winston, of Clarksville, medical examiner, said death was caused by a broken neck. Surviving are his wife, Mrs. Carrie Winn Weston; five daughters, Mrs. Wilborne Bourne, of [[Richmond]], and [[Aunt Corrina|Mrs. Edward Carey]] and Misses [[Barbara]] Ann, Mabel and [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet Weston]], of Red Oak; three sons, William S. Weston, with the Navy at Norfolk, and DeRoy Lewis and [[Curtis Wayne Weston]], of Red Oak; three brothers, Alfred Weston, of Chase City, and Daniel and Roy Weston, of Red Oak; one sister, Mrs. Mabel M. Blacklidge of Richmond, and one grandchild.|Obituary to Barbara's father<ref>{{w|https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html}}</ref>}}

The '''1950s''' saw Bob (aged 22-32) graduate with a Bachelor of Electrical Engineering, and his marriage with Patricia Harley, while Barb (aged 8-18) gradually progressed through high school. At the start of the decade, 2 of Chris's great-grandparents - John Hollomon and Robert Wynn remained alive. John died in 1950, while Robert - the last man standing - died in 1952. A few years later in 1955, Barbara's father died, leaving 2 of Chris's grandparents alive by the end of the decade.

==== Events of the 1950s ====

*'''27 May 1950''' - [[Linnanmäki]] opens for the first time.
*'''Fall 1950''' - Bob returns to Auburn University in order to study Electrical Engineering.
*'''Spring 1952''' - Bob graduates from Auburn University with a BEE degree in Electrical Engineering. He then moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina for Western Electric. He is first hired as a test planning engineer with radar on automatic test equipment.
*'''16 November 1952''' - Birth of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]
*'''1954'''/'''1955''' - Bob loses his virginity at the age of 27.<ref name="FacebookVirginity" />
*'''1955''' - Bob's father, stepmother and his first four half siblings moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
*'''25 March 1955''' - Bob and John H. Judd Jr. file a patent for an electrical terminal block.
*'''8 April 1955''' - Barb's father, Joseph Otto Weston, is killed while hauling wood along a rural road near Red Oak, Virginia. He fell off his horse drawn wagon, was run over by one of its rear wheels, and died of a broken neck. His body was discovered after his horse and wagon arrived without their driver at a service station.
*'''1956''' - Birth of [[Michael Snyder]].<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]</ref>
*'''25 September 1956''' - Bob marries his first wife Patricia Harley in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
*'''c. 1956-1960''' - Barbara loses her [[Virgin with Rage|virginity]] while in high school.<ref name="FacebookVirginity">According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from 30 [[January 2012]], in which Chris says that Barbara lost her virginity in high school while Bob lost his virginity at age 27.</ref>
*'''November 1956''' - Bob is transferred from Western Electric to General Electric to Utica, NY
*'''Spring 1957''' - Ran graduated from {{w|Park_View_High_School_(South_Hill,_Virginia)|Park View High School}}, in South Hill, Virginia.
*'''Fall 1957''' - Ran enters {{w|Wake Forest University}} in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
*'''1957''' - Birth of [[Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
*'''20 July 1958''' - Birth of [[BILLY MAYS]].
*'''28 April 1959''' - Bob and John's patent for an electrical terminal block is published.

===1960s===
[[Image:JerryBarb&Cole.jpg|thumb|[[Jerry Harmon]] with [[Barbara]] and young [[Cole]] in late 1960s/early 1970s]]
[[Image:RobertChandler1960s.png|thumb|Bob around the late 1960s]]
{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gamut from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|[[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills, 2007.]]}}

In the '''1960s''', Barbara (aged 18-28) graduated Randolph-Henry High School, married Ran Coleman Yeatts, and mothered Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who was aged 0-6 in this decade. Together with Patricia Harley, Bob (aged 32-42) fathered two children: [[David Alan Chandler]] (b. 1961) and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] (b. 1964).

Chris's maternal grandmother Carrie died in 1968, leaving Robert F Chandler his sole remaining grandparent.

====Events of the 1960s====
*'''1960''' - [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] graduates from [[Wikipedia:Randolph-Henry High School|Randolph-Henry High School]] in Charlotte Court House, Virginia.
*'''2 March 1960''' - Birth of [[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt]].
*'''17 November 1960''' - Birth of [[Takashi Tezuka]].
*'''1961''' - Ran Coleman Yeatts, Cole's suspected biological father, graduates from Wake Forest University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
*'''25 March 1961''' - Birth of [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]].
*'''16 June 1961''' - Barbara marries Ran Coleman Yeatts at a Baptist church in Wylliesburg, Virginia; The same day, Barbara moved to Richmond to live with Yeatts.
*'''4 August 1961''' - Birth of [[Barack Obama]].
*'''28 November 1961''' - Birth of [[David Alan Chandler]].<ref>[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref>
*'''1962''' - Bob goes on a business trip to Boston. This is presumably the furthest north Bob has ever visited in the United States
*'''28 April 1962''' - Ran Coleman Yeatts deserts Barbara (according to the date given on her divorce certificate).
*'''15 May 1963''' - Barbara is granted a divorce.
*'''10 June 1963''' - The [[Manchester High Leaks#Women's Movement notes|Equal Pay Act]] is signed into law
*'''24 July 1963''' - Birth of [[Cole Smithey]].
*'''22 November 1963''' - Assassination of [[Manchester High Leaks#JFK Assassination|John F. Kennedy]]
*'''1964''' - Jack Dale Smithey, the man who Barbara said was Cole's father, disappears after living in Richmond for at least a year.
*'''16 April 1964''' - Birth of [[Michael Hirtes]].
*'''29 May 1964''' - [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet Victoria Weston]], Chris's aunt, marries [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Thomas Eugene Ashby]].<ref name=Ashby/>
*'''9 July 1964''' - Birth of [[Carol Chandler]].
*'''27 August 1964''' - Walt Disney Pictures releases ''[[Mary Poppins]]''.
*'''1966''' - Jerry Harmon becomes Cole's stepfather.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/blendonlodge339/posts/1084760088251976</ref>
*'''1 December 1966''' - [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] files a patent for a vehicle logging system.
*'''23 April 1967''' - Birth of [[Rob Bell|Robert B. Bell III]]
*'''November-December 1967''' - [[Operation Snowball]] goes on tour for the first time. For two weeks, Jerry, Barb and four-year-old Cole travel around Virginia on a Cessna twin-engine airplane, performing magic tricks for inmates at mental hospitals. The family would do this every [[Christmas]] season for the next ten years.<ref>https://www.colesmithey.com/articles/2017/09/operation-snowball-my-first-career-in-show-business.html</ref> <ref>https://newspaperarchive.com/petersburg-progress-index-nov-28-1967-p-9/</ref>
*'''18 June 1968''' - Barbara marries Jerry Harmon in Washington DC.
*'''23 August 1968''' - Carrie Edna Wynn, Barbara's mother, dies.
*'''4 December 1969''' - Birth of [[Jay Z]].
*'''23 December 1969''' - Bob's patent for a vehicle logging system is published.

===1970s===
[[Image:BobAndColeMeet.jpg|thumb|Chris-imitative fanart of Bob and Barbara meeting at Maddy's Pub in 1979]]
{{quote|If my mom had not found my dad, and HE was lonely and old too, HE would not have lived TWO WEEKS from that faithful day in Maddy's Pub.|[[April 2012 Facebook posts|Chris on Facebook]], 2012}}

[[Image:Chandler_family_reunion_1975.png|thumb|Chandler Family Reunion in 1975.
Left to right, (first row) are Robert Sr, Dorothy, Beverly, [[Bob]], Larry, Jimmy, Frances, (second row) Ray, Jane, Joan.]]

In the '''1970s''', Bob (aged 42-52) moved to Richmond, divorced his wife Patricia, and lost his father Robert (also Chris's last grandparent to die). Near the end of the decade, he met his future wife Barbara (who was aged 28-38 in this decade) at Matt's British Pub.

====Events of the 1970s====
*'''c. 1971-1974''' - Barbara [[Saturday Night Special|nearly kills]] [[Cole]] while trying to frighten off a burglar.
*'''1972''' - [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] is chartered.
*'''26 December 1973''' - Bob files a patent for a "Shot volume and cushion point control for injection molding apparatus."
*'''1975''' - Bob moves to [[Richmond]].
*'''17 June 1975''' - Bob's patent for a "Shot volume and cushion point control for injection molding apparatus" is published.
*'''28 June 1976''' - Bob and Patricia are legally separated.
*'''4 July 1976''' - Birth of [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>
*'''November-December 1976 (approx.)''' - Operation Snowball goes on tour for the last time.
*'''Late 1970s''' - Bob volunteers as sing-along leader at Matt's British Pub in the Shockoe Slip neighborhood of Richmond.
*'''1977''' - [[14 Branchland Court]] is built.
*'''10 November 1977''' - [[Wes Iseli]] is born
*'''27 December 1977''' - Death of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr., Bob's father.
*'''25 August 1978''' - Barbara and Jerry are legally separated.
*'''1978-1979''' - [[Thorg]] is born
*'''1979''' - Bob and Barbara meet at "Maddy's Pub" (probably Chris's mangling of Matt's British Pub).<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> Barbara hears Bob sing and is smitten by him.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref>
*'''14 December 1979''' - Birth of [[Joseph Herring]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

ECV 00001

2025-12-12T15:38:10Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Manipulation}}
{{Honest}}
'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they look like.

Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] [[Move]] controller and a matching "Navigation Controller". Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. As is evident in the video title, the EyeCreate video counter has been reset to 1, due to his [[PS3#The Rebirth|new PS3]].

Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan is, specifically how [[Fuzzy-Wuzzies_&_Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they are and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware]]. Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe"-style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| ytid = _PlUjOwJl8g
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

{{quote|We were very peaceful, I tell ya what.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:TRUE and ORIGINAL Cherokian Man.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
''[Chris is wearing his [[muscle bra]] with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very, very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior. He has his arms crossed over his chest with a PlayStation Move controller in each hand.]''

Me, noble Cherokee man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace...peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within [[Spanish]] history. Some of it was previously, uh, translated, was translated, as can—-found on the [[Wikipedia]] under the term "Cherokee": C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E. [''The first E is barely there because of one of the skips.'']

We were very peaceful, [[wikipedia:King of the Hill|I tell ya what.]] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked, we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as [[Rosechu|slut]]— bartered off as [[Basement Rosechus|slaves]] to the [[Virginia]] and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our [[Chris and Religion#Chris the Shaman|witch doctors]], which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor roll|I forgot memorize it]]. Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my [[Bob Chandler|father's]] side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother, for she comes from the [[Daniel Weston|English clan]], but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail of Tears.

Which, beyond which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right— thanks to our guys, slavery has abolished altogether, including— including the black slaves. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois.]''

Hey, we're with you on this one, dude, we're with you on this one, dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this [[America]] and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are organizations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennessee. More information on this, as well as our history, on the Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce, though. We were very, very fierce.

But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow.]''

==See also==
* [[War Paint Video]]
* [[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-09]]

BlueSpike Skype Logs 10

2025-12-12T15:37:28Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{quote|I just did basically my routine for doing it with a doll; when I do it with you for my very first time, I can promise you that it will be more varitiable than what is shown.|Christopher C.W.C.}}

'''BlueSpike Skype Logs 10''' details a chat between Chris and Julie on 18 [[February 2009]].
== Summary ==
• Chris thinks he's great enough to commit suicide over. 
• Chris says watching a movie will help get over Sarah May's death. 
• Chris talks about computers and Guitar hero guitars. 
• Chris bores Julie with random shit. 
• Chris says he wore a condom while recording the sextape. 
• Chris has his wisdom teeth in a jar of alcohol. 
• If Chris gets amnesia, he'll use his medal to help regain his memory. 
• Chris spouts Ramdom-access humor. 
==Chat==
 [05:31:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Are you there, [[Julie]]?
 [05:32:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I hope you were able to get some sleep.
 [05:33:17] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I just wanted to inform you that I've just created, and I am uploading a video, addressed to [[Sarah May]]. I pray she has not done anything extravagant, and is still alive and well.
 [05:33:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I hope she sees this video.
 [05:34:35] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Also, I wanted to ask, were you a member of the [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum? If you are, please check on there for any new messages from Sarah May for me.
 [05:35:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I would do it myself, but I had asked her to delete my account after a troll hacked into it and defaced it.
 [05:35:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I had recreated my account on there, and submitted an application that I'm hoping Sarah also gets to read and approve.
 [05:36:41] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'd feel just heart-broken if she commited suicide because of my mistake; it would be [[Ryan]] all over again. :_(
 [05:36:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' ;(
 [05:37:06] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I need to recover. I'll TTYL.
 [05:37:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Ickvenschwell, Julie-Kat.
 [11:59:01] '''BlueSpike:'''
 [11:59:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
 [12:29:24] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi, Chris.
 [12:29:44] '''BlueSpike:'''
Let me know when you're at the computer.
 [17:36:39] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Zlkavszka, Julie.
 [17:44:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi, Chris.
 [17:45:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hey, Julie.
 [17:46:06] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've just read a reply I got from Cassie, Sarah May's spanish friend, she offered comforting words that made me feel a bit better. I replied with gratitude.
 [17:46:19] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how are you feeling?
 [17:46:48] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awful.
 [17:46:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
because of Sarah May?
 [17:47:03] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes.
 [17:47:38] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I understand, but you don't have to dwell on about it. have you tried to distract yourself with a movie or something?
 [17:47:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
....
 [17:48:14] '''BlueSpike:'''
No matter HOW many movies I see, I WILL NEVER forget my dead friend.
 [17:48:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
EVER.
 [17:49:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I understand, and I feel the same way. The emotions will linger and come back now and then. But the best thing one can do in the similar situation is to try to not fret over it a lot and move on.
 [17:50:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm still feeling the shakes and emotions from her and [[Aunt Corina]].
 [17:51:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but at least I am feeling capable of being able to move on, having known the opening details, and wait to see if it's gotten worse.
 [17:52:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris, she commited sucide.
 [17:53:43] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I understand that possiblity, and it would really hurt me if she did that because of me. It would be Ryan all over again.
 [17:53:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :(
 [17:54:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris..
 [17:54:20] '''BlueSpike:'''
She did it because of a promise you made..
 [17:54:23] '''BlueSpike:'''
She was so happy about it.
 [17:54:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I know, and I feel terrible over it.
 [17:56:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
But from what I've learned after past deaths I've felt close to, is that I should try to move on. I did care about Sarah May very much, and I will never forget her.
 [17:56:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
did you see the video I uploaded?
 [17:56:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes...
 [17:57:29] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
It pains me deeply to know that I am losing, or have lost, a good friend in that way.
 [17:57:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've shed tears for her.
 [17:58:04] '''BlueSpike:'''
I don't think you really did, Chris..
 [17:58:09] '''BlueSpike:'''
Could we talk on the [[PSN]], about it..?
 [17:58:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay.
 [17:58:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll send you the invite.
 [17:59:53] '''BlueSpike:'''
Give me few minutes.
 [23:51:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Zlkavszka, Julie.
 [23:52:13] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hello.
 [23:52:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I have a bit of good news. Sarah May is still alive. she left me a message on Skype a few hours ago.
 [23:53:02] '''BlueSpike:'''
That's good, what did she say?
 [23:53:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
that's the bad part; she started with "..." at 8:27 PM, then two minutes later thought I was ignoring her, when I was not on my PC.
 [23:53:57] '''BlueSpike:'''
Huh..
 [23:54:14] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I left her a message with an apology for missing her, and a plea for her to not do anything stupid. And I informed her of the video I uploaded.
 [23:54:43] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
She's not online right now, but at least we can breath a sigh of relief, because she's alive.
 [23:55:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [23:55:57] '''BlueSpike:'''
So..Chris..
 [23:56:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Did you enjoy listening to my father earlier?
 [23:56:07] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [23:56:08] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [23:56:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool. :)
 [23:56:18] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris..
 [23:56:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes?
 [23:56:24] '''BlueSpike:'''
Did you ever make that video of you..you know?
 [23:56:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
not yet, and I am thinking about doing it tonight.
 [23:56:59] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [23:57:22] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll record it in a couple of hours or so, but I promise you I will have it done, just for you.
 [23:57:34] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [23:57:36] '''BlueSpike:'''
So, what's up?
 [23:58:25] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
not much else. but I did tell you about what I was doing while you were listening to my dad.
 [23:58:42] '''BlueSpike:'''
No, what were you doing?
 [23:59:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I told you in a message on the PSN.
 [23:59:44] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh, yeah.
 [23:59:45] '''BlueSpike:'''
That.
 [23:59:47] '''BlueSpike:'''
Neat.
==09-02-19==
 [00:00:12] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm good in technological things, you know.
 [00:00:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
did I mention that I took a computer upgrade course at [[PVCC]]?
 [00:00:30] '''BlueSpike:'''
You never mentioned.
 [00:00:31] '''BlueSpike:'''
Huh.
 [00:00:37] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I did, and I passed.
 [00:00:54] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:01:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Needless to say I have a good understanding of what is inside my PC's Tower.
 [00:01:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:01:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and to figure out how to upgrade my PS3's internal HDD to a greater memory capacity was a snap.
 [00:01:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awesome.
 [00:02:31] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Also, in my lifetime, I have unscrewed and taken apart some of my [[video game]] consoles, to see what they looked like on the inside, including my original Game Boy, GBA and my [[PSP]].
 [00:02:49] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and a NES among the Televised consoles.
 [00:02:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:05:19] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Yes, it's fun to take things apart to see the insides. Also, I sucessfully Upgraded my PS2 [[Guitar]] with the insides of a newer PS2 guitar. I started with the one that came with GH1, then I learned the RED guitars that later came out were better and upgraded in comparison, so I unscrewed and swapped some of the internal parts, as well as the newer cord, since they were both the [[Sony]] Wired Gibson SGs, and I was successful in the upgrade.
 [00:05:37] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:05:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I got the newer guitar used, then I returned it after I did the internal swapping.
 [00:06:09] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's not easy to repaint a new guitar to make it match the memories that went into the old, you know.
 [00:06:22] '''BlueSpike:'''
I do.
 [00:06:39] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
so, the Casing has been with me throughout my GH years.
 [00:07:16] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:07:17] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Also, when [[Gamestop]] was having a Tournament for GH2, I entered and WON the whole thing. I got a T-Shirt, while everyone else got posters.
 [00:07:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
It happened a couple years ago in February.
 [00:07:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
NAILED Freebird on Hard better than my opponent in the Final.
 [00:08:28] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awesome.
 [00:08:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I mean, I did not get a perfect score, but I got an "A" Grade.
 [00:09:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
95-100?
 [00:09:06] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *%
 [00:09:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awesome.
 [00:09:13] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:09:37] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I look forward to playing some GH with you. :)
 [00:10:15] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You don't have to be the best at it; all I would ask is for you to do your best.
 [00:10:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *your personal best.
 [00:10:33] '''BlueSpike:'''
I am good at it.
 [00:10:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
I played Expert.
 [00:10:38] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
me2
 [00:10:48] '''BlueSpike:'''
And I get mostly 90%-100%
 [00:10:57] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've also completed the Expert in GHAerosmith
 [00:11:08] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
as well as the rest, with mostly A Grades.
 [00:11:14] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:11:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, right, they measure in Stars; that's the grade format I was trying to think of.
 [00:11:53] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but I went with the letter anyway.
 [00:12:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Play any good games lately on your [[PS3]] or [[Wii]]?
 [00:12:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, yeah, Burnout.
 [00:12:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :P
 [00:12:45] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah..
 [00:12:50] '''BlueSpike:'''
I haven't really played much of Burnout.
 [00:12:57] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
ah.
 [00:13:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I see.
 [00:13:08] '''BlueSpike:'''
I've been wanting Street Fighter 4 so badly..
 [00:13:32] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
As soon as possible, I plan on buying the Special Edition version for PS3.
 [00:13:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool..
 [00:14:00] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
as well as MGS4 and the other titles we've agreed on adding to my quarry.
 [00:14:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how many disc games do you own?
 [00:14:19] '''BlueSpike:'''
In total? Or just PS3?
 [00:14:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
PS3
 [00:14:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
2.
 [00:14:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I have over 25
 [00:14:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:15:08] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You'd probably gasp when you see my shelves in my room.
 [00:15:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
up close
 [00:15:44] '''BlueSpike:'''
Heheh.
 [00:15:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [00:16:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
my first game system was a [[Commodore 64]] computer.
 [00:16:16] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hmm.
 [00:16:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I still have the system, complete with Hard Drive Keyboard, cords, and Floppy Disk Drive
 [00:16:50] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awesome.
 [00:17:09] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but my Joystick I used on it got messed up sometime ago, as it didn't work for me last time I turned on the sytem a few months ago.
 [00:17:18] '''BlueSpike:''' :(
 [00:17:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm sure I can find a working joystick on [[eBay]], but that's for another day.
 [00:17:50] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [00:18:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
we have to exchange stories of our childhoods after you get here.
 [00:18:36] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [00:18:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
you would get a cornucopia from my [[slideshow]] in my [[DVD]].
 [00:19:35] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I look forward to hearing your stories very much. :)
 [00:19:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah...
 [00:19:50] '''BlueSpike:''' :(
 [00:19:52] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
?
 [00:19:58] '''BlueSpike:'''
Nothing, sorry.
 [00:20:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
what's the matter? did a bad memory reappear?
 [00:20:23] '''BlueSpike:'''
No..
 [00:20:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's okay, you can confide in me.
 [00:20:42] '''BlueSpike:'''
It's nothing.
 [00:21:19] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
hey, no childhood is perfect. and you know I've had a bunch of bad bumps in my lifetime.
 [00:21:32] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah..
 [00:21:33] '''BlueSpike:''' :(
 [00:21:55] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
"Don't trust them new n*ggers over there."
 [00:22:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [00:22:54] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:22:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I left out the second letter, just like what happened to Stan's Dad in that episode of [[South Park]].
 [00:23:08] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah..
 [00:23:09] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:23:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
"With Apologies to Jessie Jackson" was that episode's title.
 [00:24:09] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm reminded of another Funny episode of South Park; "Breast Cancer Episode Ever"
 [00:24:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [00:24:30] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I could not believe what Eric did to himself in front of Wendy.
 [00:24:33] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :D
 [00:24:39] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah. :D
 [00:25:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Still, it was a great episode that showed off Girl Power.
 [00:25:31] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:25:44] '''BlueSpike:'''
Could you sing that Uncle Ruckus song for me, one more time, please?
 [00:25:45] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:25:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
hang on.
 [00:25:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
It'll cheer me right up.
 [00:26:23] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes.
 [00:26:56] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [00:26:58] '''BlueSpike:'''
Thank you.
 [00:27:21] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:27:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
So..It's been a few days..
 [00:27:38] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [00:27:52] '''BlueSpike:'''
A few days since we skype called just you and me.
 [00:27:56] '''BlueSpike:'''
That's all. :(
 [00:28:00] '''BlueSpike:'''
Not cybering, silly.
 [00:28:04] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [00:28:05] '''BlueSpike:'''
It's okay.
 [00:28:16] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:28:45] '''BlueSpike:'''
?
 [00:28:50] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [00:28:53] '''BlueSpike:'''
We can type, I gues.
 [00:29:09] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I still keep on [[Lovin' You]].
 [00:29:55] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:29:59] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
They're playing Barry White "I Can't Get Enough of Your Lovin' Baby."
 [00:30:03] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
on the radio
 [00:30:15] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [00:30:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
have you heard that one?
 [00:31:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
No. :(
 [00:31:32] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hang on for a bit.
 [00:38:12] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm gonna hook you up with the track, after I spend 43 [[Coke]] points to get it for you. :)
 [00:41:17] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
sent file "06 - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe.mp3" to members of this chat<files alt=""><file size="7560884" index="0">06 - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe.mp3</file></files>
 [00:42:33] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You enjoy that; it can be our song. :)
 [00:42:39] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:46:01] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
sent file "06 - Lift Up Your Eyes.mp3" to members of this chat<files alt=""><file size="18430246" index="0">06 - Lift Up Your Eyes.mp3</file></files>
 [00:46:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Here's another choice track for you.
 [00:46:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I had this one on my PC.
 [00:46:38] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:47:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You can copy these tracks to your PS3 and enjoy them on there as well.
 [00:48:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
are you enjoying Barry's song?
 [00:48:49] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes.:)
 [00:49:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
another topic of the Nick and Nora movie was Mix CDs and good [[music]] tracks.
 [00:50:23] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [00:51:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and the iPod was featured there. BTW, did you see the joke in the new [[Family Guy]]; Carter asks Bill Gates to help him with his ([[Microsoft]]) Zune, but he actually has the MORE POPULAR iPod.
 [00:51:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *(Apple) iPod
 [00:51:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I use my PSP for music on the go.
 [00:52:00] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *(Sony) PSP
 [00:52:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [00:53:32] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
before my PSP, I used a Game Boy Advance Jukebox.
 [00:53:56] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I got that accessory for only 10 dollars while it was on clearance back then.
 [00:55:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but I digress on the techo savvey.
 [00:55:32] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah..
 [00:55:59] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
did my going-on bother you?
 [00:56:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
No. :)
 [00:56:20] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay.
 [00:56:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [00:57:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
we can share music everyday together, and even create our own.
 [00:57:11] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:58:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
sent file "Christian & the Hedgehog Boys.zip" to members of this chat<files alt=""><file size="26569539" index="0">Christian & the Hedgehog Boys.zip</file></files>
 [00:58:41] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
these are my tracks.
 [00:58:59] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
all 8 of them.
 [00:59:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [01:01:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Did you get your Wii Number for me yet, so I can add you onto my WiiNetwork?
 [01:01:26] '''BlueSpike:'''
No, not yet.
 [01:01:33] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm feeling kind of tired, I'll get it tomorrow.
 [01:03:22] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay. Here's mine, 8626-5211-8387-4771. You can go ahead and add me onto your Wii.
 [01:03:29] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [01:03:33] '''BlueSpike:'''
I will soon.
 [01:04:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
because apparently we both have to have registered our opposite numbers onto our Wiis in order to exchange messages and gift from the Shopping Channel.
 [01:04:24] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and, be sure your country setting is set to [[USA]]
 [01:04:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [01:04:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and you've been on the Shopping Channel yourself, yes?
 [01:05:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, and you have to set up in the Shopping Channel options to Receive Gifts.
 [01:05:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [01:06:00] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I had to go through these details when I gifted Tetris Party to Sarah May.
 [01:06:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
Ah.
 [01:06:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll gift it to you as well after I get your number.
 [01:06:29] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [01:06:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I enjoy Puzzle Games, and Tetris is a favorite classic.
 [01:07:17] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
logging in a lot of Tetris Time pays off for when arranging things on-the-spot.
 [01:07:32] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [01:07:56] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
there was an episode of [[the Simpsons]] where Homer had that practice and arranged the Garage Sale stuff he and his family bought in the car. but he left himself out. :D
 [01:08:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
Heh.
 [01:08:24] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
D'oh!
 [01:08:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
<nowiki>:)</nowiki>
 [01:09:39] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I should let you go, so you can get some rest for your work tomorrow.
 A piece of advice I offer to most everyone I talk to, "Keep a Happy Thought".
 [01:09:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll talk to you again later.
 [01:10:04] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay. :)
 [01:10:11] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Ickvenschwel, Julie-Kat. :-*
 [01:11:06] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, and a piece of advice, write your Wii Number on the back of your Operations Manual; makes it easier to find in the future.
 [01:11:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
(L)(L)(L)
 [01:11:37] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [18:57:22] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Zlkavszka, Julie.
 [18:57:40] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi.
 [18:58:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
Did you finish that video for me? :)
 [18:58:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've had a bit of a day; I went out with my family earlier this afternoon on their errands, and I went with my mother before then to escort her to our local doctor to give some blood for blood work.
 [18:58:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes I did.
 [18:59:01] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've just reformatted it for you, and it's ready to be sent.
 [18:59:40] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it is explicit, so keep it ONLY for your Eyes; don't let your bro see it.
 [18:59:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
or anyone else for that matter.
 [18:59:47] '''BlueSpike:'''
You got it.
 [18:59:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool.
 [19:00:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
sent file "[[For Julies Eyes Only.MP4]]" to members of this chat<files alt=""><file size="90400128" index="0">For Julies Eyes Only.MP4</file></files>
 [19:00:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
FYI, I wore a condom during the time; I ended breaking one and replacing it.
 [19:00:49] '''BlueSpike:'''
An MP4..?
 [19:00:54] '''BlueSpike:'''
Would that play on my computer?
 [19:01:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes. it works on any iTunes Player, Windows Media Player, PS3 and PSP
 [19:01:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh, alrighty.
 [19:02:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
anyway, the doll I was using was not a doll I'd choose right away, because the V-Hole and the A-Hole are linked together, so it's like my duck can go all the way through and stick out its A-Hole.
 [19:02:37] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I just thought I'd let you know about that.
 [19:03:31] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how was your day?
 [19:03:39] '''BlueSpike:'''
It was good.
 [19:04:07] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
anything different or exciting?
 [19:04:54] '''BlueSpike:'''
Nope.
 [19:05:07] '''BlueSpike:'''
How long is the video, anyway?
 [19:05:20] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's about 7 to 8 minutes long.
 [19:06:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I was feeling a bit nervous, because of the condom breaking and having to pause the recording now and then. but I perservered anyway. :)
 [19:07:25] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I just did basically my routine for doing it with a [[Kimmi|doll]]; when I do it with you for my very first time, I can promise you that it will be more varitiable thatn what is shown.
 [19:07:30] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
<nowiki>*than</nowiki>
 [19:08:46] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Julie?
 [19:09:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
what happened there?
 [19:09:22] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi.
 [19:09:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
My router's power supply got DC'd.
 [19:09:33] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, okay.
 [19:09:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I've had that happen to me before too.
 [19:10:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
BTW, did you look up your Wii Number yet?
 [19:10:30] '''BlueSpike:'''
Ah, I forgot. :(
 [19:10:44] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
you can do it now, while it's on your mind. :)
 [19:10:57] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll do it soon, don't worry.
 [19:11:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay. I trust you know how to look it up?
 [19:11:20] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [19:11:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool.
 [19:12:30] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
let me check my memory about you a bit; you're 5'5", B-Cup, slim body-type, brown eyes and hair.
 [19:12:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and your voice is locked into my Audio Memory very well. :)
 [19:12:54] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:13:15] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how am I on remembering your physical features?
 [19:13:20] '''BlueSpike:'''
Very good.
 [19:13:49] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool. I've had a small bit of a problem remembering your favorite color; was it blue?
 [19:13:56] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes.
 [19:14:07] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool. :)
 [19:14:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
you know something, from what you've told me, you would look very sexy, IMHO. ;)
 [19:15:22] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:15:25] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but I still have not got the pictures yet, and I am looking forward to seeing the sexy woman I'll be seeing.
 [19:15:46] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:15:56] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
oh, and your teeth are in very good shape; I remember that.
 [19:17:08] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I brush my teeth every day, so I'm cool too. FYI, I've had two Wisdom Teeth, and I had them removed. I still have them preserved in a jar with a dash of [[alcohol]].
 [19:17:39] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You know why they call them Wisdom Teeth?
 [19:17:47] '''BlueSpike:'''
No, why?
 [19:18:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Because they've been tucked away soo long back there under flesh, they've had a Longer time to think compared to the rest of the teeth. :D
 [19:18:53] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
that's my little joke.
 [19:19:01] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [19:20:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
stop me if I'm corssing any lines, but how well or often were you able to brush your teeth in [[Molvania]]?
 [19:20:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
You're crossing some lines, there. :(
 [19:20:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm sorry.
 [19:20:46] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I will not go further in that.
 [19:21:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Uncle Ruckus says, "Don't trust them new n*ggers over there!"
 [19:21:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :D
 [19:21:29] '''BlueSpike:'''
Heh.
 [19:22:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
another fun thing I can do after I receive your Wii Number, I can send you 10-second audio messages from my WiiSpeak Channel, so you'll be able to dig my voice whenever you want.
 [19:22:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
brb
 [19:22:42] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [19:28:52] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
back
 [19:31:52] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Also, I've gave it some thought, after taking off my medal and please hear me out, I wear it, because I consider it my personal Lucky Charm, and it reminds me of my previous emotional traumas and good memories from my past since I created the original one.Christopher C.W.C.Also, suppose, god forbid, I get hit, and I've fallen into a case of amnesia. The medal would be on me, and it can start me on recovering my memory much faster. Ridiculous, yes, but it's better safe than sorry.
 [19:32:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [19:33:11] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
For you, though, I can take it off me while we're together, or when we have [[sex]]; you only have to say the word, and I'll have it off of myself around you.
 [19:33:25] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [19:33:43] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I still care about you and respect your feelings. :)
 [19:34:28] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:35:26] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
did you watch the video yet, or are you going to watch it later?
 [19:36:10] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm watching it now.
 [19:36:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay. turns you on?
 [19:36:32] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:36:35] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
cool.
 [19:36:40] '''BlueSpike:'''
I could dye my hair pink if you wanted.
 [19:37:07] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
give me a moment to imagine that.
 [19:38:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
pink would look good, but do you personally want to dye your hair that color?
 [19:38:23] '''BlueSpike:'''
Sure.
 [19:38:25] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:38:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how about blue?
 [19:39:21] '''BlueSpike:'''
Maybe..
 [19:39:25] '''BlueSpike:'''
Do you like girls with Blue hair?
 [19:40:19] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes I do; like [[Sailor Moon|Ami/Sailor Mercury]].
 [19:40:43] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes, blue would be better.
 [19:40:57] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:41:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
are you sure you're cool doing that to yourself?
 [19:41:45] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes. :)
 [19:41:49] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
alright.
 [19:42:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
BTW, what's your hairstyle; long, short, pigtails or what?
 [19:42:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
You'll see. :)
 [19:42:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
in your pics. :) I feel that long hair, about to the shoulders, looks good to me.
 [19:43:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but I'll wait and see your pics.
 [19:43:19] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:43:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I'll take you as you are anyway.
 [19:43:44] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [19:43:48] '''BlueSpike:'''
Maybe if you ever do this again, you could make put in a little bit more passion. ;)
 [19:43:56] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
the video?
 [19:44:02] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah.
 [19:44:16] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
if I was doing it with you for real, like our first time. ;)
 [19:44:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes
 [19:44:24] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:44:53] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
like I said, I felt nervous from the mishaps then.
 [19:45:03] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *a bit nervous
 [19:45:38] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
do you have the video tucked away in a folder on your PC?
 [19:46:05] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes, why?
 [19:46:49] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
If your brother finds it and says anything about it to you, I can still send a vocal message on the WiiNetwork, telling him a few words in our romantic defense. ;)
 [19:46:56] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay. :)
 [19:47:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
do you have more than WiiSports among your Wii Disc games?
 [19:47:49] '''BlueSpike:'''
I have No More Heroes..and Brawl.
 [19:47:59] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Mario Kart?
 [19:48:04] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah, Mario Kart.
 [19:48:08] '''BlueSpike:'''
Slipped my mind, sorry.
 [19:48:15] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
how about [[Animal Crossing]]?
 [19:48:19] '''BlueSpike:'''
No. :(
 [19:48:30] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm not that much into Animal Crossing, I don't think.
 [19:49:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I see, well you can at least get a WiiSpeak, so you and I can talk on there as well, and you can send me 10-second audio messages too. :)
 [19:50:08] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
With a WiiSpeak, you get a download ticket to download the WiiSpeak Channel, which is not among the immediate downloads on the Shopping Channel.
 [19:50:39] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's currently available for 29.99 USD in most stores.
 [19:50:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
if you can find one new for less, then cool.
 [19:51:42] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah...
 [19:51:55] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
but our talks on the PSN and Skype are cool; I'm just thinking of an alternative. You don't have to do it if you don't want to.
 [19:52:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yeah..
 [19:53:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I once knew a man from Nantucket; he had on his head a darn bucket. :D
 [19:54:02] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsville. :D
 [19:54:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I will fufill all your wishes with my taco flavored kisses. Taco, Taco. :_
 [19:54:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [19:56:25] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
"Don't trust them new n*ggers over there. No, No don't dah, dah, dah-dah. No, don't trust them new n*ggers over there."
 [19:56:36] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll have to learn the lyrics from that episode of the Boondocks.
 [19:56:53] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
so I can learn that part I don't know.
 [19:57:03] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:57:14] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
there's that smile.
 [19:57:33] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
"Julie's Smile. Oh, won't you smile a while for me...Julie?"
 [19:58:42] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [19:59:57] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
"Oh, it's a wonderful day with Julie. Julie makes your heart so light. When the skies are grey and ordinary, Julie makes the sun shine bright. Oh, happiness is blooming around her. The daffodills are smiling at the dove. When Julie holds your hand, you feel so grand, your heart starts beating like a big brass band. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. It's a jolly holiday with Julie. No wonder that it's Julie that we love."
 [20:00:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I can go on with two-sylible name songs and put your name in them all to make you smile more. :)
 [20:01:52] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and I'll still mean them all from my heart. (L)
 [20:02:10] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [20:02:51] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
FYI, that last one was from "[[Mary Poppins]]"
 [20:03:19] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool.
 [20:03:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I should go and get something to eat, then draw some more for my comic book. I'll talk to you again later. :-*
 [20:04:04] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Ickvenschwel, Julie.
 [20:04:24] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [20:05:00] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
can I get some love back before I leave?
 [20:05:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
a kiss and an "I Love You too?"
 [20:05:52] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's nice to be reminded now and again.
 [20:06:01] '''BlueSpike:'''
<nowiki>:*</nowiki>
 [20:06:03] '''BlueSpike:'''
I love you too.
 [20:06:10] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
thank you. :-*
 [20:06:18] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm sorry, I keep forgetting to tell you..I always thought you already knew. :(
 [20:06:21] '''BlueSpike:'''
<nowiki>:)</nowiki>
 [20:06:21] '''BlueSpike:'''
But I love you.
 [21:22:13] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I always know that you do and will love me, it's just nice to hear it now and again to refresh the memory. :)
 [21:22:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Also, I've just purchased the new [[LBP]] Costume Pack and the Burnout Paradise Legend Car Pack (includes the Back to the Future Car and the Ecto-1).
 [21:22:59] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
so, you may log in and download them for yourself.
 [21:23:33] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh, okay.
 [21:23:36] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll do that now. :)
 [21:23:42] '''BlueSpike:'''
What was the password again?
 [21:23:56] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll send you the password in a PSN Message shortly.
 [21:24:05] '''BlueSpike:'''
Gotcha. :)
 [21:35:25] '''BlueSpike:'''
Thanks, Chris.
 [21:35:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Maybe later, possibly tonight, we can play around with the new cars.
 [21:49:24] '''BlueSpike:'''
Maybe you could get that time saver pack so I could have all the cars you do.
 [21:49:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
<nowiki>:)</nowiki>

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: BlueSpike Skype Logs]]

Cosplaying

2025-12-12T15:37:10Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|Chris dressed as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his mary-sue counterpart]] in [[2005]].]]

'''Cosplay''', short for '''"costume play"''', is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the [[anime]] fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms, such as [[video games]] and ''[[Captain's log|Star Trek]]''. [[Chris]] was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare; however, a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse [[Jackie]], appeared in late [[2010]].

It should be noted that the costumes are created at his home using construction paper, markers, paints, and anything else he can purchase in the kids craft section of a [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]]. They are crude interpretations of the original image he is attempting to portray and most seem put together quickly and with little effort. Most of the costumes barely resemble the characters Chris is trying to mimic. The only costume he appeared to put any effort into was his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form, in which he painted his face and body along with constructing a few minor details to complete the look.

==Ash Ketchum cosplay==
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty.]]
Chris appeared in his [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally purchased or made by [[Snorlax]] as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref name="ReferenceA">[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's behavior]]</ref> and to the [[2004]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against five kids dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Team Rocket|Team Rocket]]. The prize was a T-shirt.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|Television footage]] of Chris playing [[card games]] with [[Pedofork|little kids]] while dressed as Ash was also featured on his [[DVD]].

For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|Gay Trucker]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* ''Pokémon League'' ballcap
* Fanny-pack (also known as a "belly-bag" or a "bum-bag" in the British dialect)

The ensemble was usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' T-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic]] Heroes'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below). Chris is unable to wear the costume anymore thanks to his [[obesity|obscene girth]], but it nevertheless remains his best cosplay yet, and the only one that helped him win anything.

Chris also wore this costume to a [[Halloween]] party on 31 [[October 2009]] - he had wanted to go as Kevin Keene, the main character from [[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|''Captain N: The Game Master'']], but couldn't make the jacket.

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg|
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Jackie and cosplay==

{{quote|At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, so there. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. Especially these videos.|Chris}}

[[File:ChrisChanCosplayMR.jpg|thumb|The master costumer at work.]]

On 16 [[September 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video of himself donning blackface and a turban]] to depict Mr. Popo from the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' series, stating that the minstrel show was for his girlfriend. At the end of the video, he admits that it was indeed for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. At first, this seemed like a typical Chris move to impress a girl in the possible hopes of getting [[china]]. Apparently, either by Jackie urging him to do more or by Chris noticing that his [[sweetheart]] found amusement in his costume play, this was only the beginning.

We wouldn't again see Chris's efforts to amuse his beloved until 2 [[October 2010]], when Chris released the video [[I like Mary Poppins]]. Though simplistic and crude, the idea that Chris is trying to portray is indeed a form of cosplay. This was just a tiny hint of what was to come the following day, when Chris uploaded a video attempting to be [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]]. In this video, he prances around insanely yelling "Robble robble robble" repeatedly in a quickly put together costume. Several other videos followed of Chris depicting everything from famous [[music]]ians to [[trolls]]. Not until the [[ECV 00002|"Sonichu Transformation" video]] would we be officially told, by his own mouth, that Chris was doing this for Jackie's amusement.<ref>[[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]], section 2</ref> Though it may just seem like speculation, it seems that any cosplay video starting from the original Mr. Popo was influenced by Jackie in some way.

Most of his costumes during this period were made haphazardly and probably with whatever Chris had laying around in [[Chris's room|his room]]. Typically, they consisted of nothing more than colored construction paper attached with tape or string to the front of his regular clothes. This is probably a result of his laziness and general lack of effort, though he usually seems satisfied with his work output (the [[100 2279|"considerably weak video"]] being a notable exception).

Characters Chris has cosplayed as during this period:
* [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]
* [[McDonald's|Hamburglar]]
* [[McDonald's|Grimace]]
* [[Clyde Cash]]
* [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] (though just vocally depicted)
* A member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band]]
* A [[Cherokee]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
* Fred Flintstone and [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] (the latter in the same costume but with a different "head")
* [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]] (a new low, with just a DVD case over his face)
* A [[Harry Potter|wizard from Hogwarts]]
* A [[Chris and Race#Black people|"gangsta"]]

==In art==

[[File:Sango Glimmer.png|thumb|200px|Sango Glimmer.]]

Chris has drawn his favorite cartoon characters cosplaying as characters from other shows, video games, and movies.

{{-}}

==At BronyCon==
In July 2019, Chris announced that he will cosplay at the 2019 [[BronyCon]], posting an image of [[Pokémon]] Suicune as a clue to his cosplay. Later that month, he uploaded a photo with the enigmatic description: "Making some special now-retro tech here." Fans then guessed that it was a Pokégear and that Chris intended to cosplay as Kris from Pokémon [[Crystal]].

<center><gallery>
File:CWC Pokegear construction.jpg |Chris's Pokégear.
File:Pokégear GSC.png|What Chris was going for.
File:Kris Pokemon Crystal.png |Kris
</gallery></center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisPapa.JPG|Flexing his ''PaRappa'' muscles.
File:ChrisGroucho.JPG|Chris as Groucho Marx.
File:ChrisJuffalo.JPG|As a Juggalo.
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]].
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like [[McDonald's|The Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].
File:Grimace.jpg|As the Evil Grimace.
File:Chriscash.jpg|As [[Clyde Cash]].
File:Ohboy.jpg|As a member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Virgins With Rage Band]].
File:Liquidd.jpg|As [[Liquid Chris]].
File:Indiann.jpg|As a [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]].
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris in his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|super-mode]].
File:ChrisFredFlinstone.JPG|As Fred Flintstone.
File:ChrisHomerFlinstone.JPG|As... Homer Simpson-Flintstone?
File:ChrisAsCleveland.JPG|As Cleveland Brown. [[Slow-in-the-Minds|Ingenious]].
File:ChrisWizard.JPG|From Hogwarts. Learnin' spells n' yeah.
File:RainbowChrissy.JPG|As [[Rainbow Dash]].
File:Chris at a gay bar.jpg|As a "Groovy 70's Lesbian Chic" for [[Halloween]] [[2014]].
File:OmegaCon2015.jpg|As [[DJ Pon-3]] at [[OmegaCon|OmegaCon2015]].
File:Bc2_mlp1_(see_summary_for_hi-res_link).jpg|At [[BronyCon 2017]].
File:BronyCon2018fan2.jpg|At [[BronyCon 2018]].
File:Christine-spotted-v0-4w4f7onpupac1.jpg|As [[Star Wars|Ahsoka Tano]] at [[Animate! Raleigh]] with a fan.
</gallery></center>

==Fan Art==
<center><gallery>
File:Hpowers.jpg
File:128678188337.png
File:128677654690.jpg
File:Robble.jpg
File:128679185214.png
File:Chris Chan Gemsona.png|Artist's depiction of Chris as a Crystal Gem.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Cosplay|Cosplay]] at [[Wikipedia]].

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Cosplay videos}}

100 2281

2025-12-12T15:36:39Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Manipulation}}
{{Quote|You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!|Chris}}
'''100 2281''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 15 [[October 2010]]. In it, he shows us how he acts when [[Alcohol|drunk]], guzzling down [[Wikipedia:Kahlúa|Kahlúa]] with great abandon, mocking [[Jackie]]'s ex [[Lars]] and dressing up and speaking like a "a parody of the current young [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] [[JERKS|dude]]."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

Jackie had to persuade Chris to do this as he had [[Chris and money|blown most of his monthly budget]] in ten days and was reluctant to buy Kahlúa on top of that.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

Note that this video takes place in [[Chris's kitchen]], and visible in the background is the [[Christmas]] tree seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House]] in [[March 2009]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2281
| ytid = qFZ-I7143bk
| stardate = 15 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt =
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]
| next = [[Pregnant Act]]
}}

{{quote|I loves my woman, and I loves the pussy. }}

=== Transcript ===

[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a [[Adam Stackhouse|colorful bandana]] wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a [[niggo]], and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']

Hey, yo, [[Lars]] m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the [[trolls]] been using. You calling me a god-dang [[homos|yomosettsual]], I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the [[china|pussy]].

[''He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.'']

And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [''He waves the bottle towards the camera.''] You [[Son-Chu|drivin']]! You jivin'!

I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[''brief pause'']...go put your boats over [[Jackie]] like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [''Gives two thumbs down.''] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, [[Patti-Chan|dawg]].

[''Chris pauses again.'']

You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!

[''He reaches up and turns off the camera.'']

===Translation for Those Who Don't Speak Slang===

Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this acacia coffee you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to acacia milk, well that's just false. You cared more about your boats than you cared about Jackie. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act]]}}
{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-15]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-15]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-15]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-15]]

Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2

2025-12-12T15:36:17Z

HurdyGurdsen:

The '''Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2''' are a series of [[July 2009]] correspondences between [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Chris]], under the guise of Jack's daughter Samantha.

After the [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]] and [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]], Jack's daughter Samantha allowed Chris to break into her e-mail account to pretend to be her in order to get his [[PSN]] accounts back from Jack Thaddeus. All this led to the culmination of this [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]]. Samantha pretended to be a third party known as [[Kate]] who was BFFs with Samantha while Jack arranged for a [[Liquid Chris|man at Otakon]] to make a lot of money off [[Sonichu]] merchandise. Is this confusing enough?

==July 18==

{{EmailReply|Subject: Hey, man

LOL, I'm da man! Got my stuff back, clean as a thistle. :)

Listen, Bro, I can dig [[Chris|Chrissy]] hasslin' u for his accounts back. I have da plan on how to REALLY mess with him. Give me back a couples of his account; that way he can't get them ALL from you.:D And besides that, he ain't hasslin' me as much now that he has YOU, da Bigger Man of This Era with dat Heavy [[Power]]. Besides, I am fondin' over his Creatures Classic I noticed he had; I'm a sucker for those space monkies. And I'll nix his French with my alt. address. :D LULZ LULZ LULZ

Take care, Sweet King.

Sam}}

==July 19==

{{Email|Oh hi, sorry it took me awhile to reply.

Why the fuck is my daughter talking like a god damn Super Spaded Jungle Bunny Spook? Have you been doing [[Tobacky|drugs]] again? I told [[Clyde]] not to introduce you to [[Wikipedia:jenkem|jenkem]]! Where was the man I loved in him? Thank God he's dead.

Have you been hanging around with Maurice, Jamal & those other Niggers? I kept telling you they are never going to make it big in the Bad Boy Entertainment. It still disgusts me I caught you in bed with ALL OF THEM. To imagine your the same girl I adopted those years back.

I will not give you the password info until you sober up.

I don't want you to do that shit again!

Love
 -Father}}

{{EmailReply|I'm sorry, daddy. I was tired after a long day. No, I have been staying FAR AWAY from those boys; I hate them for what [[Rape|they did to me]].

I'm cool now. I heard Chris could not seal the deal; I can't believe he could not even do that to save his own life, much less his PSN accounts. He is pathetic.

So, where do we go from here on this [[Trollin Train|Trollin' Train]], daddy?

Love ya,

Sam}}

{{Email|We already talked about this already, did you forget?

Well the new plan is to use Chris' own words against him from his recent video, "[[Rollin' and Trollin'|Rolling & Trolling]]". I'm going to use the exact quote "I'm a man who works 40 hours a week" & send it to the welfare people where he gets his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social security money]] from, canceling it making him forfeit his welfare money.

The only way this plan can get ruined is that Chris makes a video admitting his [[autism]] & taking back every lie he has said.

I gotta find the passwords in my documents, give me about 2 hours. reply back what you think of this plan.

Love
 Daddy}}

{{EmailReply|Sounds good. :) Thanks, daddy.

Love
 Sam}}

{{Email|This is the password to the japanese one

ChrisLikesGiantBlackCocks}}

{{Email|are you there?}}

{{Email|Did the password work?}}

{{EmailReply|The password isn't working for me; it's soo long, plus I could be inputing the wrong e-mail.

Sam}}

{{Email|[[Katie Bay|Kate]] probably changed it so she could download stuff.

Can you tell me how your day went? I haven't seen you in awhile. Also Do you know if Chris will make a video taking back his own claim of being a troll? Either way I'm working with the Welfare staff right now. If chris makes [[CWC Trollin More|the video claiming autism]] my plans are RUINED.}}

{{Email|Oh btw I was at otakon, I had [[Liquid Chris|my friend dress up as Chris]] & we made fake sonichu [[medallions]], sonichu cookies, and a replica of [[cwcville]]. We made tons of money. Daddy is going to get you something nice? What would you want?}}

{{EmailReply|LOL. I want a LOT of things, you know. I am in the mood for a statue of Satan to remind me NOT to sleep with dumbasses.

I don't know Chrissy's Plan, he's so [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], yet I would be flustered with him wising up and putting someting together, and then
some.

Sam}}

{{Email|I'm thinking of changing the conditions of how he gets his psn back. Losing his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] within a week was too much for him. I'm thinking u should tell him if he wants his account back + 50 credit for each account he is to announce he has his autism and his Trolling claim was a lie. Or something else. Idk. What do you think?}}

{{EmailReply|IDK, sounds kinda trite, plus I've just checked his YT; you'd better go look.

Sam}}

{{Email|The [[CWC Trollin More|video]] was dubbed, he plans to bull shit out of it. I plan to change the demand to, I want him to [[CWC "Boyfriend"|sing/dance to Avril Lavign - Girlfriend]]

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ25-glGRzI</nowiki>

This is all I ask.}}

{{EmailReply|LOL, I love that. Go for it, daddy.

Sam}}

{{Email|you can send that message will you, sweetie?}}

{{EmailReply|Okay. :D
I'll send him the message in a bit.

Sam}}

==July 20==

{{Email|He saw through my clever roose to trick him and take his tugboat!}}

{{EmailReply|We should send Chrissy ONE of your medallions, a few cookies, photos
of the booth and al the proffiting fun via snail-mail, and we can
include a LULZ letter saying something like, ¨Thank you for being at
Otakon this year.¨ I would die to see the shocked expression on his
face upon seeing the stuff and reading the letter. :D

Sam}}

{{Email|Thats the kind of idea a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|NAIVE Retarded Bastard]] would think up.}}

{{Email|are you up? did he respond to your email?}}

{{EmailReply|Hey, daddy. I have not yet heard from Chris.

And what's wrong with the idea; I really want to hear him moanin' and
groanin' in sorrow over the profits and all that; you don't even have
to include the return address. Or at least send him the pictures and
exagerate on the profits. But THINK about it, if he had Our stuff
within his Physical Touch, he would not help but squirm and faint. :D

I gtg get some groceries and hang out with Kate. I'll check in later.

Love ys,
 Sam}}

{{Email|No I will not do shit. You just give him the order to do his [[It's UGH!|music video]] that you emailed him, if He does not do shit, he will not recieve ''[sic]'' his psn. That is final. Stop acting like a Chris Chan.}}

Chris took his sweet time creating the music video, finally uploading it on July 24.
{{EmailReply|Well, no need to get all Commando about it.

Anyway, I have an update on Chrissy; he's just sent out a message on
[[YouTube]] requesting the MP4 of Girlfriend - Sonic and Amy. It's
sunding promising. :)

Sam.}}

{{Email|ok i'll reply to him in a bit.}}

==July 21==

{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYsrdv_P8y4</nowiki>

[[Liquid Chris|This man]] was at otakon, He made some MAD CASH! He made an opening confession and all. Tell me what you think?}}

This message likely prompted Chris to make his first [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|video]] raging against Liquid Chris.

{{Email|The demands have increased for his delay he is to [[Chris humps his PS3|hump his ps3 console]], foward ''[sic]'' that to him. I sent the message in advance.}}

==July 22==

{{EmailReply|Woah. As IF Chris would EVER humpe one of his consoles. Besieswhich,
I have heard that he had downloaded the file you sent him.He's so
retarded, that he needs LOOONG TIME to generate a GOOD Idea.He told me
tat he was working on it ayway, so just give him a few moredays.
Besides, you gave him A Week for te Virgin-Breaker challenge;if you
want to show that you would hold your end of the deal, youcan't be
that uncool to him. If I hear anything else, I will let youknow.

Love ya, Daddy,
 Sam}}

{{Email|Tough shit he is doing it. I'm not playing games, & why are you trying to defend Chris. He is the person that lead up to [[Clyde]]'s death. God damn y ou}}

{{EmailReply|I am not defending that pathetic pussy; I loathe him just as much as
you and the next Troll.

I am only helping you so he will be most likely be able to believe you
would hold up your end of the deal, and have him keep on doing our
bidding. If you constantly pile on More Threats, he will lose faith
in you and move on. The retard has done it before, you know. If you
want to continue this game while we have the cards, I would not pile
on the damn threats. After watching his 25 second video earlier, he
is holding up his end of the deal well.

Just because we are having more and more pathetic days ourselves in our individual damn lives, it doesn't give us the right to be soo unfair that it would create a Striking Pawn against us.

It is up to you on long we get to continue to play this damn trolling game; don't mess it up.

Love ya,
 Sam}}

{{Email|This does not make any sense what so ever. I will not budge out of this one second.

oh I wanna quote something.

"Just because we are having more and more pathetic days ourselves in our individual damn lives"

So you're calling me pathetic? Who do you think pays for your fucking drugs. I'm married and had a brat (you).
You forget who is in charge here. I can easily replace you from this operation.

&

So what if he loses faith in the deal that he can easily follow. I can just simply call PSN RIGHT NOW on ALL ACCOUNTS including a network ban and get him console banned for LIFE. I don't care if I am console banned at the process cause I am rich like that & got an extra ps3 console for this occasion.

-JThadeus}}

{{Email|The meeting will take place in [[irc]] at rizon server at this channel

head here, just be sure to tell us its you. #trolltrain4andhalf}}

{{Email|heh we're having our big trolling meet tonight you up for it?}}

{{Email|everyone had irl issues. We will plan this tomorrow 10:00 pm virginia time. BE THERE}}

The IRC chat took place on July 23, and can be found [[IRC (23 July 2009)|here]].

{{PS3Saga}}
{{Emails}}
[[Category: Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]

DayOut

2025-12-12T15:35:48Z

HurdyGurdsen:

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| ytid = Z93msGUbFKs
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a drive-by tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vIy-YTLT4rg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1m55umlC6EA}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KUgefTdYmOE}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fib0HKxZ3J8}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pBIR8jCeCgE}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencer's]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[List of restaurants#Chick-fil-A|Chick-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5TbdH6D-Igg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cDhVIQWgF_U}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5SWp2NiJFdw}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|[[Chris and hypocrisy|"The Tour Guide"]]}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]]. In 2017, Chris used the same insult against a [[Pmurt|new enemy]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]] in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

SonichuBabies

2025-12-12T15:35:28Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[File:SB.PNG|center]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris recasts the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]] in a poor-man's version of the [[1980s]] cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Muppet Babies|Muppet Babies]]''. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "The Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies ''aren't'' supposed to be doing!"

The video is notable for showing how poorly Chris understands childcare. In addition to leaving the group unattended, the children watch [[South Park|TV shows meant for older audiences]], [[BACK THE FUCK OFF|ostracize and bully]] [[Blake]], and [[CWC Fighter|physically fight each other]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| ytid = dRRbqVsPy6w
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Tragedy|[[Sonichu 8|Creepy]]}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Not visible
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

{{quote|We're having fun today in [[Chris's room|da room]], aren't we!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws, singing]'' Oooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...!

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do the same for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosey]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you weren't theeere...

'''Rosey:''' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]''

'''Nanny:''' Is everything alright in here?

'''Babies:''' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey appear]''

'''Sonee:''' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey!

'''Rosey:''' Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-Chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings]''

'''Blake:''' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have black hair though.

''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]''

'''Both:''' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee!

''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]''

'''Both:''' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm.

'''Sonee:''' Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now?

'''Rosey:''' I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show.

'''Sonee:''' That what ya wanna do?

'''Rosey:''' Yeaah! Alright!

''[Makes the babies kiss]''

'''Both:''' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>Magi-chan moves into shot'']

'''Magi-chan:''' Boy! Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]]... they been makin' out, all the time! They've been overdoin' it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]''

'''Nanny:''' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me.

''[Comic Chris's trademark sneakers join]''

'''Chris:''' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies?

'''Nanny:''' Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah you're right, [[Monthly tugboat |I'll stay home]], you go out to get the groceries.

'''Nanny:''' Look how we settled that!

'''Chris:''' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

'''Chris:''' Alright children, y'all s- y'all be careful out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]''

'''Bubbles:''' What's the matter, Wild?

'''Wild:''' Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well.

'''Bubbles:''' Well, and why is that?

'''Wild:''' I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does!

'''Wild:''' Yeah, what was that guy's name?

'''Bubbles:''' Uhh... heck if I know!

'''Wild:''' Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue!

'''Bubbles:''' Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes.

'''Wild:''' Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime.

'''Bubbles:''' Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round.

'''Wild:''' Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]''

'''Punchy:''' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] in real time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]''

'''Blake:''' Yeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty. She's so bubbly, she's so fun! ...I'm just-b-I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets left out. And it's not because um- and it's not [[Niggo|because o' my color]]! It's just because I have my own opinions aside from theirs. I do things for myself. ...Sometimes I like to re- sometimes I like to read even though I don't know how to read yet! ...I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. But I'm s- but it brings danger along som- uh, it brings danger with me sometimes, n'...that makes me sad. Y'know, they can't apprecia-me, appreciate me even though I'm never danger...

''[Sonee and Rosey enter, Punchy sneaks into frame]''

'''Rosey:''' Listen-listen to-m-listen to Blake over there. He's all goin' on an' on with his own self, impulses again.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah, always talkin' to himself, eh? I don't know, seems kinda weird-

'''Blake:''' Aw, will ya shut up? We all talk to ourselves at one time or another.

'''Rosey:''' Sorry, Blake!

'''Sonee:''' Yeah, sorry dude.

'''Blake:''' Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica enters]''

'''Angelica:''' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story.

''[Magi-chan appears]''

'''Magi-chan:''' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica?

'''Angelica:''' Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Sega|Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!

'''Magi-chan:''' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten.

'''Angelica:''' YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.

'''Magi-chan:''' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there.

'''Angelica:''' Thank you. [''Pause''] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [''Whine''] Well, at least [[Women's Rights|we women grew to power]] eventually.

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah.

''[Awkward pause]''

'''Angelica:''' Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.

'''Magi-chan:''' [''In a very pushed tone.''] Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday.

'''Angelica:''' An' Nanny takes us!

'''Magi-chan:''' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too!

'''Angelica:''' [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian.]]

'''Magi-chan''': Yes he is.

'''Angelica:''' So what you wanna do now?

'''Magi-chan:''' Let's go play with [[Lego]]s!

'''Angelica:''' Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]''

'''Punchy:''' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l?

'''Wild:''' Okay Punchy!

''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]''

'''Punchy:''' Huh. Got me there.

''[Wild "hits" Punchy]''

'''Punchy:''' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW!

''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]''

'''Punchy:''' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window!

'''Wild:''' I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|right|The Sonichu Babies]]

'''Punchy:''' I'm sorry.

''[Awkward silence]''

'''Punchy:''' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery.

'''Wild:''' Yeah.

'''Punchy:''' So, I'll do that.

''[Punchy comes forward]''

'''Punchy:''' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer.

''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]''

'''Wild:''' I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?

'''Punchy:''' D'ya want me to go beat him up

'''Wild:''' Nah, I just need to learn self defense.

'''Punchy:''' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa!

''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns]''

'''Wild:''' Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. ''[Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]''

'''Punchy:''' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosey return]''

'''Rosey:''' Okay so... What should we do now?

'''Sonee:''' I think let's go [[PlayingHouse|play House]]!

'''Rosey:''' Yeah let's go play House again!

'''Sonee:''' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home.

'''Rosey:''' Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?

'''Sonee:''' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks!

'''Rosey:''' Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' That's very good. How're the children.

'''Rosey:''' I think I just told you that. ''[She didn't.]''

'''Sonee:''' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal.

'''Rosey:''' Okay!

''[Switch places]''

'''Rosey:''' Hi honey, I'm home!

'''Sonee:''' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]?

'''Rosey:''' Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.

'''Sonee:''' There was a v- there was a bank robbery?

'''Rosey:''' Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane!

'''Sonee:''' Horse and mane?

'''Rosey:''' [[Random Access Humor|Sure, the horse was on the main!]]''

''[Pause]''

'''Rosey:''' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!

'''Sonee:''' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-]] I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long.

'''Rosey:''' And I've been out journalism all day.

'''Sonee:''' Yeah.

''[Pause]''

'''Sonee:''' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down.

'''Rosey:''' That's good.

'''Sonee:''' I had to change a few [[Butt garments|diapers]] to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband.

'''Rosey:''' And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.

'''Sonee:''' Okay. So. Wanna end the show.

'''Rosey:''' Why not?

'''Sonee:''' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah.

'''Narrator:''' Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]''

Dududududududuh! Duh duh!

'''Nanny:''' Thank you very much, goodnight!

'''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Night of the Living Sonees
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zq0jnGS2ang}}
| stardate = 26 [[October 2010]]
| maker = [[user:xanabit|Xanabit]]
| subject =
| type = }}
==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-25]]

ShowerClean

2025-12-12T15:35:09Z

HurdyGurdsen:

The '''ShowerClean''' videos are two short videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In the first video, Chris points out an area on his extremely dirty, stained shower wall that he's going to clean, that appears to be covered with a mixture of ''Serratia marcescens'', responsible for bladder infections, and ''Aspergillus niger'' (black mold), responsible for respiratory illnesses in those with weakened immune systems. In the second video, he shows us the finished result. Chris then hints that he can achieve this same cleaning result on the rest of the shower, but then hesitates to explain when exactly he intends to do that, which would suggest he didn't clean any more of the shower later.

It would be [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|confirmed]] that Chris never cleaned his shower again after this video - ''three years later''.

==ShowerClean1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean1
| ytid = 5ww5Al3kV0A
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|Grey T-shirt}}
| previous = [[Don'tPintheOop]]
| next = [[#ShowerClean2|ShowerClean2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on a group of tiles with moldy grout and an orange stain, freshly sprayed with a cleaner.]''

Focusing on this one stain, right here, in the shower wall, for now.

''[Chris moves the camera to focus on his face and the cleaner.]''

With this Shower Shine[[copyright|™]]…

''[Chris picks up a roll of paper towels.]''

…these paper towels… I'm gonna get that spot out.

At least make it look better.

==ShowerClean2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bsMBpji-LFA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|Grey T-shirt}}
| previous = [[#ShowerClean1|ShowerClean1]]
| next = [[SpaghettiRoutine]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on his face.]''

All right.

''[Chris moves the camera onto the same set of tiles, slightly cleaner but still full of grimy grout. Some of the stain is gone, exposing the white tiles underneath.]''

Here we are. Take a look at that, huh? Stain is gone. Big stain is gone. And give me more time, I can have the rest of it down— the rest of that mess off, too. But for this— for this video footage, I'll just concentrate on the one spot for now.

''[Chris moves the camera back onto his face.]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don'tPintheOop]]|nextlink=[[SpaghettiRoutine]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-30 b]]

Jackie Chat 5

2025-12-12T15:34:26Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This chat took place on 3 [[October 2010]]. Highlights include [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] discussing his [[I like Mary Poppins|Mary Poppins video]], his hatred of [[Homos|homosexuals]], and his feud with [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, [[Jackie]]. :) h 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi! 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
How has your day been? 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, alright 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how about you? 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mine has been okay. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you make a video for me today? 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just uploaded [[I like Mary Poppins|my video for today]], talking about [[Mary Poppins]] being my favorite movie; I've just received your e-mail with the [[McDonald's|Hamburglar]] idea; I'll do [[100 2265|it]] tomorrow. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! let me go watch 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
brb 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
Also, the [[Lars]] video; the upload failed the first time; I'm reuploading it now. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I stayed up the night before last, because I started work on recreating the Uncut Aqua Teen movie I had before I reformatted my PS 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that video was great!@ 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean recreating the movie? 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you have to download their movie? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
Last time I created the uncut movie, as well as this time, I had used the movie, plus the deleted scenes and parts from the deleted version from my copy of the 2-disc DVD. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
First time, I used my PC's movie editor for the video files ripped from the DVDs. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
But now, it's funky with me on the format it would use, but I've figured out and used successfully the Video Editor App on my [[PS3|PS]] 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
funky monkey, eh? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
LOL 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
seriously though, the PC's program found the video file formats unacceptable. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
IDK why, and I forgot how I did it the first time. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you get it completed? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Thanks to my PS3 now, instead of the crappy program on my PC, I can most definitely put the deleted scenes from any show and movie on DVD into their respective movies and shows. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well thats good. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what program do you use to edit your videos on the pc that was getting weird? 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was called "showbiz" 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you could try something professional, like final cut pro 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have never heard of that program. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its a video editing software package 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will consider looking for a downloadable file of its installation exe. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i was sitting in class yesterday, and i thought to myself 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
but the video editor on my console works very well for my needs. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes? 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know a whole lot about [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|your college days]]. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was it like for you? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can talk about that tonight. :) h 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly though for me, college was [[Slow-in-the-minds|not so swift]]. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no? 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was it like? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
but there were a few positive perks at PVCC during the first couple of years I went there. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
tell me about them! 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
One time, we had a hypnotist appear to do a show; I was a volunteer. I was actually aware of what was going on while I was "hypnotized", so I went along with the gag. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, so it was like an illusionist? 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
One of the tricks was when he said a word, I call him something stupid, so I called him a current catchphrase back then; "Uncle Screwy Louis". 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, not an illusionist. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
screwy louis! lol 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my favorite uncle is Uncle Jesse, from {{w|Full House|full house}} 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
that was a good show. 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i liked the early years before {{w|Michelle Tanner|michelle}} could talk. it jumped the shark once she stole the limelight 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you think of mary kate and ashley olen? 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*olsen 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Another time, we had a game show with audience participation. I didn't get to get up on stage and win, but it was fun to watch. 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
The Olsen twins are okay; [[Pedofork|they're fun in their own way]]. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
me and my friends had a bet that they would pose in {{w|Playboy (magazine)|playboy}} once they turned 18, i was surprised they never have 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I haven't seen much from them in their teen or adult years. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you ever have any foreign exchange students in any of your classes? 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
not that I was aware of. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
When it came to classes, I was mostly by myself, and I paid great attention to the details of the subjects. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you didnt make too many friends? 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I did great in the computer classes portion for [[CADD|my degree]]. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah, I had few acquaintances. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
but no friends. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
awww... 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
of all your classes, what were your favorites? 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
And in an English class, as we were starting to read "Wednesday's Child", a story of an [[autistic]] girl, I told the professor and the class I was H.F.A.; between that, and some misunderstandings, he kicked me out of his class on my 21st [[Birthday]]. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what misunderstandings 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
essentially, when it came to critiquing the papers of the others' students, when they started talking about [[Tobacky|drug use]] and [[homos]]exual content, I wrote with exclamations you'd likely hear from a [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] person in church. Note, this was back in [[2002]], and I was not as mature as I am today. 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
*not as mature then as I am today. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you were critiquing each others' papers? 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of exclamations? 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, did you shout OH LAWDY or something 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats kind of a stereotypical black church saying 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't remember verbatim, but stuff against the smoking and such, and yes, I did go "Hallelujah, Lord" once or twice. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on paper or vocally? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
on paper 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what part of the paper were you commenting on when you said that? 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think it was on a homosexual statement that was on that paper. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was the assignment for these papers? were they book reports? or editorial pieces? 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
something like that 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
story reports 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on the story your class read? 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was yours about? 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm not sure I understand the question 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was the report about the story you read? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, it was on a different story we were reading before Wednesday's Child. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was that story? was it about gay people 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
It may have, or it may have not been. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm just curious why the paper you were critiquing had stuff about homosexuality 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know you don't remember the words exactly, but what sort of things were you saying about being gay in your critique? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
because of the way the student wrote his paper; he went into details of the story we had read where he saw something about homosexuality, which I did not see myself. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, that student saw like an allegory in the story about homosexuality? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I did not. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what made you say "hallelujah" 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
because I was on a roll on the way I was writing against what the student was saying, and I got carried away. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so did a debate start about it in class? 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
no 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no one talked further about it? 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
only the professor offered me his input on what I wrote after class. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe he thought your critique wasn't constructive because you were using such strong language? 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think he felt confused, and wanted to correct me and my misunderstanding of how to critique others' papers. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, thats probably how he felt 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what was your discussion like? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say mid-volume; I mostly listened to what he told me, and I told him that I was only expressing how I felt about the subject of the student's statements. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you feel about the student's statement? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
offended. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
offended? how so? 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understood that homosexuality was wrong, and I was angry at it on that definition mostly; this was before I understood more of the details that I know today. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so your critique was telling the other student his views on homosexuality offended you? 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which WHILE I do feel strongly against their doings behind closed doors and whatnot, they are still people, and I respect them as fellow people nowadays. 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so that's why you were kicked out of class that day? because you weren't doing the assignment properly? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, this was BEFORE I was kicked out of class. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was kicked out of class LONG after that, and shortly after I told the professor of me being autistic too. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if your getting kicked out happened long after, what does this critique assignment have to do with getting kicked out? 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had theorized that he had little understandings of autistic individuals, and was probably afraid of me. 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
the statements I wrote in the critique he probably considered a metaphorically loud outburst 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember ALL of the details, but I understand at least it was between the critique and my autism. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well it sounds like he just thought you weren't doing the assignment properly 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
likely. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I don't know. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long after that were you kicked out? 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
over a month. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what happened the day you were kicked out? 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
One of my worst Birthdays in my life. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sorry, my [[mother]] came in. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no problem 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was simply, I went into the classroom on time as usual; few minutes later, the professor comes in, and tells me to leave, straight out! 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well something must have happened before that. 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I tried to find out why, but he was loud and direct about it. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
after leaving the classroom, I spent the remainder of the time I would have spent in the class, sitting at a table crying and feeling depressed. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have no idea why? 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
none at all? 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just told you what had happened beforehand. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
students dont get kicked out of class for no reason 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, so it was the critique incident that caused it. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seems odd that they'd wait a month to do anything 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
that And/Or the autism thing. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you really believe your being [[autistic]] got you kicked out 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
the autism note came in about a couple of classes before when I was kicked out. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was [[PVCC]] was regularly [[Kick the Autistic|kicking autistic]] students out of their classes? 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
no 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well why would your autism be different 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would they kick you out for that? 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was on the opinions of the one professor; NOT the school. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so does that professor have a history of kicking out autistic students? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not know his own history. 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
at all 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you assume it was your autism then? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was a most recent event right before he kicked me out of his class; [[Honor roll|simple math]]. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe some of the other students were offended by your mean-spirited critiques 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
IDK 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
maybe 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, people aren't as afraid of autism as you think 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
not nowadays, because they are becoming more aware and understanding of the condition. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
autism was pretty well understood back in [[2003]], too. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it seems like you're leaving something out, this doesnt make sense 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
some event had to have happened recently before you got kicked out 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you criticize someone for homosexuality again? 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have told you all that I can remember; I know nothing else. No. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what happened after that? were you permanently kicked out of that class? 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or allowed back in later? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was allowed to retake the class with a different professor next semester. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
*the following semester. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I was kicked out perma from the first class then. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
because of your hate speech 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds like 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not disagree; it does sound like so. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the homosexuals in that class probably thought you were being mean-spirited and cruel 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i bet they complained, and thats what caused it 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
probably. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you say you've learned from that, and wouldnt make those sorts of comments again 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which is good 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. :) h 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me move forward to another thing of my college days. 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said earlier that you are still offended by what gays do, even privately? 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean exactly? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
the sex for one thing, the way they act towards each other in couples. To me, it is just wrong to see two males doing what is done between a male and a female. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
it just really creeps me and offends me. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you dont like to look at it, which is fine 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you still think its wrong even when you dont have to look? 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
hearing about it puts the pictures in my head as well. yes 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, that means you dont like to think about two men having sex. 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
obviously 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but just their being gay bothers you too? 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but as people, they have their equal rights too, and as much as I am bothered, I still respect them as people. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you think that being gay is wrong? 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why? 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
to me, it just is. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but that doesnt make sense. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there must be a reason 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
because of the graphic details and how they bother me, it backs up why I think homosexuality is wrong. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you get mad when you think that others consider autism wrong for no reason? 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, I would feel offended if others considered autism being wrong for no reason. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you consider being gay wrong for no reason 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just told you my reasons. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, you said "it just is" 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, you said "backs up". do you have another reason for thinking homosexuality is wrong, besides that? 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, you said it makes you feel sick, but would that be ok if a person said autism was bad because it made them feeel sick? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am also homophobic. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats pretty much what saying "homos makes me sick" means 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so thats really the same thing 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but there's a difference between not wanting to watch gay people have sex, and thinking they are wrong to be that way 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont want to watch gay people have sex, but i dont think they are wrong to do it. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what is your reason for being homophobic 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am homophobic, because I feel fear of becoming one of them if they came too close to me. Why I think what they are doing is wrong; it is only because I feel what they do amongst themselves is wrong; no reason I can put into words; I just feel that way. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if its okay for you to be homophobic, is it okay for someone to be autisphobic? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, if your teacher hated autistics, wouldnt it be okay then? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not that im saying he did, i dont believe he was that way 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
Look, I do not know what the professor was thinking on the day he kicked me out of the class; I told you what I am able to remember of way back then. He may not have been "autisphobic"; I just do not know. While I am not avoiding the issue, I am feeling stressed out on how deep this discussion has gone. 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
besides, it did get worse AFTER that event in my college days. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm just posing it as a hypothetical. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
at the start of this discussion you said that you believed your teacher's fear of autism was probably the cause of your being banned. so i'm just asking why its okay for you to hate gays if its not okay for a person to hate autistics. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, sometimes I get stressed that you don't seem to want to have serious discussions. you act like i'm attacking you 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when i'm not 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand you are not attacking me; I feel confusion on the hypothetical, and I am uncertain on how to respond to that. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you could just offer supposition. i'm not asking for concrete answers 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did offer supposition. 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agreed with your theories. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, so here's another question for which i'd like a supposition 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
whats the difference between gays and autistics? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
Autism is a mind-block that promotes intelligence but inhibits social abilities; Homosexuality is a strong attachment or bond between two males or two females. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
two completely different things. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
one similarity i see 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is that both gays and autistics are born the way they are 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
WOAH! 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you think i was going to say? :-) 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did feel fear when you said you saw a similarity. 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so anyway, here's what i wonder 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you feel that you are persecuted for your autism 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldn't you feel extra bad about persecuting another group who is in the same boat, like gays? 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would not want to offend or persecute another autistic individual. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you think gays are the same as autistics...? 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I feel it not only would be wrong on me, but it would seriously damage the psyche and frighten the autistic individual horrendiously 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I never said that. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i asked about persecuting gays, you answerd about persecuting autistics 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
are you trying to warp my mind with this logic? 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm not trying to "warp" anything. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, maybe I misunderstood the question. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i repeat: if you feel that you are persecuted for your autism, wouldn't you feel extra bad about persecuting another group who is in the same boat, like gays? 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I thought you were asking if I would feel extra bad about persecuting another autistic person. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, i meant if you know what its like to be treated unfairly because you're a minority, why do it to another minority 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats like a black person getting fired for being black, turning around and attacking a chinese person for being chinese 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, I would feel extra bad for persecuting another group solely because of their being gay. 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's called discrimination, and it is wrong. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but its how you feel towards gays. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you think you're hurting gay peoples' feelings? 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
just because I feel that way about gays, I would not turn them away because of that; they are people too. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know, you seem to get mad whenever you suspect someone doesnt like you for your autism, even if they havent done anything to you yet 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what else happened in college? 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have made the suspection before, and I did get mad, but after confirming that was NOT the case with the other person, then I would have a change of heart. 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway... 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but if you confirmed someone didnt like you for your autism, even if they didnt do anything to you, would you still be bothered? 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
if they have NOT done anything to me, I would NOT be bothered. I was talking about Post-Action. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well then, lets move on 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
tell me more about college 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:56 pm 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is offline 8:57 pm 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) a text message 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was school like after that? 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
While my grades still continued to be A Average, and I made the Dean's List later, it went downhill emotionally there for me... 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
About August, [[2003]], that was when I realized I heavily required a [[girlfriend]], and I started [[Love Quest|my Sweetheart Search]]. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I hung around with the old [[sign]] next to me. And as they say on the [[Cwcki]], which originated from my own words... 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats the sign they asked you to remove, right? 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
And that battle started; I got kicked out of PVCC for one year, with [[anger]] management and psychiatrist visits during then. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was anger management like? 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
After my return, I shut up and finished my courses towards getting my degree. Which was the complete opposite of my Graduation at [[Manchester High]]; I was HAPPY to be leaving that hell-hole that was [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anger Management was like a Coping skills class. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you sent there? what was your confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] like before you started it? 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
learning ways to cope with our anger, finding other resolutions to solve our problems, etc. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
first, she came up to me and told me the sign was bothering her, and she said it bothered some other people. I told her I was on my quest for a girlfriend, then she tore it up. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so how did you respond to that? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Later, I recreated the signs, one by one, and finding other methods of attraction paper-wise. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Then in March of the following year, I had to meet her in her office, and I got angry at her then. yada, yada, yada; anger management and all that. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but wait 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what happened in that office meeting? 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you express your anger 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I gtg; my mother wants to go out and get something to eat and wants me to go with her. 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I pretended I was talking with [[Sonichu]], and he talked through me, and I cursed Mary with a [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]] attack. 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you do it loudly? 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you stand up and do the full hand motions? 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
that was back in [[2004|'04]] 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did sonichu say to you 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
in this conversation 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember. 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have to go. 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
but when I remember that event more, I will inform you about it. 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'll email you about it, that way you can write me a response when you have time tomorrow 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where are you going now? 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have to out with my mother so she can get something to eat; it is night, and she feels safer with me. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok. well, goodnight 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
she does not like going out alone. 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I enjoyed talking with you some more. :) h 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
me too :-) :-) :-) 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I am happy you liked the poem I sent you earlier. 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww... 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. :-* h 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
love you too 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
Stay Safe, Sweetheart. 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight~ ~ ~ 

{{-}}

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie Chats]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 4]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie Chat 6]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: Jackie chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 7

2025-12-12T15:34:00Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This chat took place on 12 [[October 2010]]. Highlights include [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] discussing his [[ECV 00002|super mode]], his belief that [[Chris and reality|cartoons exist in a parallel world]] and how [[Chris and religion|God wants Chris to defraud Social Security]]. Chris also claims that his computer is being repaired and promises Jackie [[100 2278|a video of him "doing" twenty pull-ups]].

[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, [[Sweetheart]]. :) h 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi!! 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
How are you? 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm doing okay. 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how was your weekend? 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm doing well too. 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sunday, I went to [[church]], and it was a quiet day. And I watched the new Fox shows, and I uploaded the video, as you know. :) h 
[7:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i loved [[ECV 00002|the chris-chan sonichu video]]! you did really well with your body-painting 
[7:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was actually surprised on how my torso would look blue, then after I painted my face, before the headwear, I reminded myself of the {{w|Marvel Comics|Marvel}} superhero {{w|Nightcrawler (comics)|Nightcrawler}} (is that his name?). 
[7:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, nightcrawler, thats it 
[7:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he can teleport. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
{{w|X-Men}} fan too? 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i think he was like [[Chris and religion|a born-again christian]] in the comics 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i am somewhat. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
me too. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I enjoyed the Marvel heroes from time and again. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I also downloaded recently the 10 comic book set of Marvel Zombies. 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i never read that one, but i heard it was a really good series 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I felt the stories were good, aside from the [[Sonichu_10|gorey details]]. 
[7:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont like the gore? isnt that the point of a zombie story? 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. to name a sole survivor that was able to move onto the next set of 5 books, was {{w|Black Panther (comics)|the Black Panther}}. 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
when it comes to gore, it's kinda 75-25; 3/4 I can stand, 1/4 I would feel sick after seeing. 
[7:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you liked horror stuff, though. i know you like [[Saw|the saw movies]] 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
altogether, it's not exactly smile-worthy, you understand. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do like horror stuff. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I do like the Saw movies. 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those have lots of blood. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
it just depends on how I feel at the time. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
mostly, I am cool with it. 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, that reminds me of something 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
remember i said i listened to the recordings of your talks with [[alec benson leary]]? at [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|one point]], you said that you believed cartoon characters exist in their own real world of sorts 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
could you elaborate on that? 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
certainly. 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
you remember the movie, "{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}?" 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i remember there was a rumor that [[Donald Duck|donald duck]] screamed "GODDAMN YOU NIGGER", but that was just a myth, he really said something inoccuous. 
[7:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, even though they used a bunch of hollywood magic to portray the toons in real life, there is a good chance still that there is a dimension where the characters we draw or create live in and in their own areas of that dimension. 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
good chance? 
[7:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
You may be referring to the bought between Donald and Daffy. 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats the scene 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but what makes you draw that conclusion about another dimension? 
[7:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
mostly from what I watched from shows and movies that talk about different dimensions. 
[7:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you must have taken some physics classes or something. I took a physics class once that dealt with multiple dimensions, string theory, etc 
[7:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like there also could be a dimension where our complete opposite selves wouldreside in. 
[7:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they didnt talk about a cartoon dimension in my class, though 
[7:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you brought up the subject because you were angry at alec for abusing his characters, if i remember correctly 
[7:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have taken one physics class in [[PVCC]]. So you know more than I do from book learning. 
[7:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think you mean Alec abusing MY characters in his works. 
[7:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, mostly you were specifically referencing his abuse of his own character, [[Asperchu]] 
[7:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. yes, I did go there at one point; I just could not understand why create a character with [[Aspergers]], when the creator has Aspergers him/herself, and he/she wants to better him/herself, they would more likely draw More Normal Characters. 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well doesnt sonichu have [[autism]] though? 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sonichu does NOT have Autism. 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he goes to special education, like the [[Dating Education|dating ed]] and stuff though 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought that meant he was in special ed. 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, Dating Education was a Normal Class; it was not classified as a "Special Educational" class. 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Nobody in my [[comic]]s has any Special Education. 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they dont have dating ed in real life. most people dont need help forming relationships 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so are your [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|sonichus]] just [[slow in the mind]]s? or otherwise special needs? 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
And my Leading Characters are Normal-Minded or Stronger. 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
NONE of them are [[Retarded]]. 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
ALL of them are Normal-Speed or Faster mentally. 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do they go to dating ed then? 
[7:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was only [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] and [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] who took the class. 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. is it because they're foreigners/ 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or are they slow in the mind? 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
And it was because Wild was feeling lack-confident in the dating scene, and Punchy was looking for tips for what he already and confidently knows. 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
they are not foreigners or slow-minded. 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, i thought punchy was chinese 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the only people i know who might need that sort of class are slow in the minds or foreigners 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Punchy was NOT Chinese or Asian; I drew his eyes that way, based on Knuckles' eyes, but I drew them more squinted accidentially. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i kind of wondered if knuckles was a chinaman 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
You do not have to be Retarded to feel Lack of Self-Confidence in ANY area. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he knows {{w|Chinese martial arts|kung fu}}, afterall 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't think Knuckles is chinese. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so lets go back to the cartoon world thing 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
now, you told alec you didnt like him abusing his characters, because they were like real people and would be hurt and suffering 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you have some characters who suffer in [[Sonichu (comic)|sonichu]], like the villains 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
In most scenarios, the Villains do get the bad rap and hurt for their misdeeds and wrongdoings. 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
... 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
In their dimension, the characters would have their own individual feelings and emotions. 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
So I feel it is proper for the heroes to stay feeling good. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldnt the villains feel bad about being created to be tormented though? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yet when they are down, they do get hurt. 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, they would feel bad. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but surely they dont deserve that 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right? 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
They deserved it for after doing Wrongdoings to other people, characters, etc in little to mass destruction. 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
Take Dr. Robotnik. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you drew them to do wrong, they didnt have a choice 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
he did his own wrongs, but he did learn later. 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
and he also lead a life outside of villany 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and [[sega]] made [[robotnik]], so i guess they're guilty of portraying him as a villain-type person 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
He went out jogging, did a spot of good, or did nothing that involved plotting or scheming. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, robotnik goes jogging? what game is that in 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was in an episode of Sonic X 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but thats still on tv, not in the other dimension 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what does he do when he's not on tv or in a game or whatever? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
it doesn't matter; if Robotnik is portrayed jogging, then he is jogging. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
exactly. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if [[asperchu]] is portrayed having [[aspergers]], he has aspergers. quid pro quo 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
he does what he would do in a normal life in that dimension. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
from reading those asperchu comics, asperchu seemed fairly happy 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i'm curious about something. when these people are created, who truly gives them life? 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
does [[god]] breathe life into their soul, or do you use more magic to do it? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
the artist, creator. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you are God? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
they put a piece of their own selves into the characters and what they create. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought only God could create life 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not consider myself God. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but do the cartoons you make? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I am sure any [[art]]ist, creator would tell you the same. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
alec told you that he didnt believe that, actually 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but to each his own opinion 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then, once a character is created, does it just exist for the rest of time as it is? 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not think the cartoons created think consider their own creators god. 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would think so, yes, until it is portrayed dead by the hand of its one creator. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but what gives a creator the right to decide if a character lives or dies? 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldnt that be murder? 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
that is a valid point. 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
it does coincide with acts of our own God; why do some of our people die considerably prematurely? 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're comparing yourself to God. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
if it was by God's hand, then would you think it would be considered murder on his part? 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am not comparing myself to god. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm not sure i believe God takes any active role in the affairs of this mortal coil. I'm more of a {{w|Deism|deist}} that way 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but a comic artist necessarily does take a hand in the affairs of his cartoon world 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but it seems there is a similarity. God made the real world, and decided what would happen, and you made [[CWCville]], and decide what happens to the innocent people living there 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree with you. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so then, what happens when you draw a real person as a cartoon character? does a clone of that person come into being? 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, if they touched each other would both cease to exist like in {{w|Timecop}}, or how does it work metaphysically? 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would think so, but metaphysically, I would think they would coexist respectively. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for example, you drew [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]] , and showed him dying. yet he survives in the real world 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
it depends on how they are drawn or portrayed. 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
that version of C.C. would be dead there, but by someone else's hand, their version of C.C. would be alive or dead based on that creator's desires. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you drew his death. isnt it you who killed him? 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
good point, but within that dimension, it can be portrayed on how the death was executed, and a guilty person can be assigned respectively, or it could be natural there. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. i just ask because you blamed alec for all the things you didnt like happening in his comic, but now it sounds like you're saying he wasn't at fault for any of it 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Upon retrospect and with the current reasoning, I can understand your point. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
one more comic question before we move on: 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you had a character named [[Count Graduon]]. what was your inspiration for him? 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I wish I had the reasoning I have now back then, and I wouldn't have had to bring up trouble then. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, maybe you can point that out with Alec when you talk to him again 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Essentially, an energy or soul of a dark or evil contained in a prison, such as an orb on a scepter, is a common practice. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where did the name come from? 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
quite right. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
At the instance of the naming of the character of evil, it came to me at random; I had no real immediate thought of inspiration then. But I think if it came from anything, the name "Graduon" was inspired from the bad Graduation I had when I left [[High School]]. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that makes sense 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have been thinking deeper and deeper into your question on the Deserving of the SSI... 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
Originally, I was given that blessing through my [[father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a [[job]], which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yesterday, I have actually asked God the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my trials and tribulations in my life. 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
God responded... 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and less richer people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
??? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not my understanding of how God works 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
God wants you to try to fix your own life, not just sit and wait for Him to fix it for you 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
God does take away likely from the rich when they are unappreciative or have their own ills of the spirit. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about the poor people who legitimately need that SSI money? the ones who would spend it on food and housing rather than [[video games]]? why would God think you deserve it more than they do when you spend it on [[toys]] 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Likely, there are people in the Government God felt did not deserve such fortune. 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you dont want to think about it either. you just accept that you have money, and have decided God believes you are holier than anyone else and thats why they dont get it 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
WOAH! 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not think I am above anyone else. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but God does, you're saying? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am a human being; no better or less than any other human being. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i'm sorry if my belief is shocking but this is NOT the God I grew up to believe existed 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know either; I'm just informing you what God told me yesterday. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, I am still trying to come up with a conclusion and sound answer to the Deserving question. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on the cwcki, it says you once believed God told you Julie was real, and that God wanted you to drive to Ohio to meet her 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, that is incorrect. 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
God did not tell me to drive to Ohio; he said nothing. 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was the spirits of my ancestors in the graveyard that my [[Aunt Corina]] was buried in on that same day, which was my 27th birthday, who wished me a Safe Trip to Ohio. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
uh... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm pretty sure you have said at various points that God sent you the girls who you thought were real at the time 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then they turned out to be [[trolls]] 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, God did not say anything to me of what those exes were back then. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
brb 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was my immature experience on the [[internet]] and my assumptions that lead me to the belief before the truth came up later. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, maybe it's your reluctance to let go of free money that you didnt earn that is leading you to the belief that God approves of this? 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
??? 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
lots of people beleive [sic] that God wants them to do something, but in reality they're just rationalizing their own selfish behavior 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there are {{w|serial killer|serial killers}} who kill because they think they are God's judges on earth. Crazy world leaders start wars because they think God told them to go conquer some holy land 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will admit I do have a reluctance to letting go of "free [[money]]", but that does not lead me to anything of God approving of it. He told me himself what he told me yesterday. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i am just having a really, really hard time believing that God wants you to sit and collect free money and not work or do anything, when everyone else is expected to work and actually improve their lives 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
There is a difference; they Thought God was talking to them, but the question was, were those people Praying to God or Consulting with him beforehand? 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, whenever I talk to God he always challenges me to improve my own life. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my friends are the same way 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
I prayed and asked him for his input. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm gonna pray right now quck, and see what God tells me 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, quck prayer... brb 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, back 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hopefully i'll hear back soon 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
But i've been in spots in my life where i had a choice between some easy, seductive evil, and a harder, more difficult but righteous choice 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and usually God doesnt tell me what to do, but he does suggest that I take the harder route 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day" 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
he did not say that quote. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would God even have all the rules and commandments about life if he didnt mean people to overcome their temptation to just do nothing? if God were just going to give people whatever they want, why would he make rules in the first palce? 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*place 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can't say. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but considering that what you think God told you sounds vastly different from everything else God ever says, dont you question it? 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did question him. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
Chris, i hate to bring up something that i know might be a disturbing thing to think about... 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but remember when i warned you that all your black magic use would open the door for Satan to get into your heart? 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm hearing the Devil instead of God? 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, thats it. thats what i'm worried about 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
That is stupid. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"do nothing, let others take care of you" is exactly what the Devil would say and you knwo it 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
Look, I don't know every detail for sure, and I do put questions out now and then... 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
You're being told that its ok to keep committing fraud, lying to the state of [[virginia]], collecting money that other people need far more than you do 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how is that not something that Satan would support? 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you, and I agree. 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i think you'd better reconsider this answer to the question 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and i think you should leave God out of the question of why you deserve SSI. because its too risky to involve God when you cant confirm where the answer is actually coming from 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was only informing you what I have so far in thinking about the question. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
this time you should consider it purely from a logical standpoint. be able to explain in worldly, practical terms why you deserve SSI 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, i understand that 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont mean to say i think your answer is stupid or anything, because I dont mean that. i just dont like this "godly" message because i'm worried about where it really comes from 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see your point. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so why dont you think on it for a few more days, and we can talk about it again later? 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I mean, I HAVE tried to see it all through Logical Aspects, but I keep coming up blank. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
sure. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you're not coming up with any logical reason, maybe that's because there isnt one. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which would mean you really dont deserve the SSI 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
you are probably right, but right now I still am without a job, and until I get one, I still am going to need this income. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I am looking to apply at other places too. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, its not for people who dont have a job, its for people who are unable to work. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but once you get a job, you can get off it once and for all 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, maybe you should start sending me updates on where you apply! 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, once a week, send me a list of all the places you applied to that week 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
sounds fair. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just sent you a photo. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
email? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I took it last night before the video. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww, its you in your sonichu costume!! 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) :-) 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, in a bunch of paint anyway. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
you keep that for yourself to smile about. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i will. :-) 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i have a question about clyde cash 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes? 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i was watching the [[100 2267|video]] where you make fun of him agian 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
hmm hmm 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you say he was "handed everything on a silver platter" 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean by that? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Considering he has All That Money of his; he Rapes my [[Panda Halo|Australian girlfriend]], then is blessed with a Daughter from her and SHE marries HIM, he gets more damned supporters then he deserves... Everything on a Silver Platter. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
He does not deserve his One Cent Daughter. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW. her name is Penny. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont think that raping a woman is the same thing as being handed something. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, the "one cent daughter", right? 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes; I was making a pun. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i hope that panda doesnt see that. she'd probably be crushed if she heard her rape baby called that 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anway 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*anyway 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i had a question about your hiking video! 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
still, Sarah, after months of getting to know me, and we were emotionally close, she was going to fly to USA to be with me, then HE rapes her, she gets pregnant, THEN she Leaves me for HIM. Got-Dangit!!!! 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, [[A Hike|the hiking video]]. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many miles did you walk? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say 2 or 3 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't have a visual knowledge on measuring a mile as I walk it. 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
better expression, I can't eyeball a mile. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where did you end on the trail before turning back? 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was it the palmer woodland theater? looks like it 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was into the forest a long way before I turned back, then I took the second path at the clearing and found myself at the Carter overlook. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, the Woodland Theater was actually Early in the trail. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
like the first quarter mile. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you went from the trailhead parking lot to the carter overlook? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and then turned back? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats only like %15 of a mile 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
No. 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I went into the forest OFF the Trail. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I went Right at the first clearing, into the forest, then farthest in, I turned back, and took the second path at the second clearing and found myself at the Carter Overlook. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you had walked all over the park, considering how much you were panting 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it seemed like you had been hiking all day 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had been hiking a lot, and it was in the 70s. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
there was a nip of chilly air going into and out of my nose. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, that sounds really chilly. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long were you hiking? 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, when I get a LOT of chill in my throat, it does make me pant. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
over an hour. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you probably actually went like half a mile? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I am sure I walked well over a mile. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I should have brought a step counter with me. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
for tonight's video, I'm going to do the Fred Flintsone routine. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! cant wait to see 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
and uh... oh shoot. had a blank moment... 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
OH 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
today, I went into my closet; had to dig and sort out a lot, but I got out my M.M.P.R. zords to sell on Craigslist; I still need to assemble and take the photographs to upload. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
did I tell you when they lost me as a fan in the series? 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i never really watched [[Power Rangers|power rangers]], i always thought it was too kiddy. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
every episode is the exact same. a monster appears, they fight it, it gets bigger, they get into their zords and kill it, repeat 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have watched the vast majority of the series. 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
still, the scenarios are different. PLUS, between seasons, the old Zord set gets destroyed, and they are upgraded to the next set. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the scenarios are the same. big robots beat up the monster 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Did you watch Tommy fall in love with Kimberly? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know who those people are 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
as i said, i never got into the show 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, they lost in the Lost in Space season, when at the end of it all, they killed Zordon. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, but they just upgraded the zordons at the beginning of the next season like you said, right? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so whats the big deal 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, after they killed Zordon, in the next season, a Government Official puts together the next of Power Rangers. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not care for a Government Official doing the job. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, you said they get a new set of zordons every season 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont get it 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
You are confusing Zords, the Robots, with Zordon, the GIANT HEAD who guides the rangers with his assistant Alpha. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sound the same to me. but like i said, i never was really interested in power rangers 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're gonna sell your zordon toys? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Zords, and yes. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you have like $130 saved up for when we meet? you could use some of that for your new pc 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
About that, after you told me we couldn't meet as planned in September, but instead in November, I spent the money to pay off my father some more. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what sort of pc are you looking at getting? 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, a cheap netbook or something 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I was planning on setting aside the amount from November's income for our dates. 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am looking to replace the motherboard in this PC first. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why? how old is that pc? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
And when we can afford 300 or more, we'll buy a new PC. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you even confirmed the motherboard is the problem? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
7 years. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, it was confirmed. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how so? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had it examined between people on Best Buy's Geek Squad and recently my new acquaintance at PC Pro, John, that the problem is in the motherboard. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. but didnt you say the motherboard you're looking for is like $80 or something? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
and 80 is less than 300 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats a good chunk of money for an antique piece of equipment that might break as easily as the one you're replacing did 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
um, how many ps3 games did you buy in the last 30 days? 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you just buy beatles rock band AND [[lego]] rock band? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, those two. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was only the two, and they both were 10 piece on clearance where I got them from. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
B.R.B. was ten at Sam's Club, and L.R.B. was ten at [[Target]]. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i just looked at best buy's site. beatles rock band is $30, lego is $20 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
so, yes, it was just those two games in the last month. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and plus, how much have you spent on DLC songs for them? 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
they were both on clearance at Sam's Club and Target. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I only spent 15 on DLC for B.R.B. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
no money on L.R.B., because most of the past Rock Band Tracks and DLC were playable in L.R.B. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
You wanted "A Day in the Life." 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if lego rock band didnt add anything new, why did you buy it? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
L.R.B. has it own set of tracks, including "[[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]]" to name one. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus, it is LEGO, and I am a Lego Fan too. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, i surmised its lego-related from the title 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
looking to get it since it came out; it finally was on clearance for 10; so I got it. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have the receipts. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, what else? 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
... 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have a question about something you said to tito and clyde cash when you were trying to get that $9000. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
sure. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you said about the destruction of your PS3: "I have endured the Pains of Loss, and the Healing of Cleansing; FREE of the Lonely and Anguished Soul that went into that machine the past three years from destroying that vessel." 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, and that was true; I DID feel that. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then you went and bought a new one 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right away 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
And AFTER I learned NO 9000 was coming my way. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which was a week later 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but now even after those impulses have passed, you still wont let it go. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know that you have told me that letting go of your PS3 addiction is non-negotiable, i'm not going to try to push it. but i just have trouble understanding why you wont drop the same amount of money (or less) on a new PC, or other useful things 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it just confuses me, is all 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Firstly, the other useful things, non-console related, don't come up until later. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"saving money" is always useful. just because you had $300 on hand didnt mean you were required to go throw it on a video game 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Second, I would drop to get money for you definitely as we meet. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and when we meet 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and all times in the future after that. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see, its stuff like this that is why i want you to seriously look at why you think you deserve your SSI. because all you spend it on, aside from paying off your debts to your dad, is video games 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which is not what its intended for 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see how the two issues are connected? 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like i said, take a few more days to consider it, i dont need an answer right now 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand what you are saying. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, Sweetheart. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, if you really needed it, if you couldnt feed or clothe or house yourself without it, i wouldnt have a problem with it 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't understand your sentence. 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what i mean is 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
even if you didnt have the tugboat, your parents would still house and feed you. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I get it now. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I am looking to improve myself; I will get a job as soon as possible. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm also going to reapply for the new [[Wal-Mart]]. 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well see? there you go! 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i knew that you saw deep down God would never tell you not to work. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well anyway, i'm gonna go to bed soon 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
That is obvious. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i have a great idea for tomorrow's video! 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
tell me. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is there a park or playground or somewhere near you? 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
somewhere with a jungle gym 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
there are one or two 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus, there is a place with a Bounce and Play thing. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i want to see you go to one, and make a video of yourself doing pull-ips. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
pull-ups, i mean 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Pull-Ups; that is no problem. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a jungle gym is good for that, you can use the bars 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, Monkey Bars. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats it 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i want to see you do 20 pull-ups! 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
set the camera down from afar, and then show yourself doing the pull-ups. 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
make sure you find a set of bars that are like 8 feet off the ground or something, so that your feet cant touch the ground 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay!! :-D :-D :-D 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i look forward to seeing it tomorrow. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and the fred flinstone video tonight!! 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
also, i have a few more video ideas for you, but i'll put them in an email and send them to you by tomorrow. 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's good. 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, well i'm gonna go to bed now. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Aside all of my problems, you understand me. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I want you to know I appreciate that. :) h 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i appreciate your honesty, too. :-* 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight! 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
{{-}}

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie Chats]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 6]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie Chat 8]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{FanChats}}
[[Category: Jackie chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 8

2025-12-12T15:33:28Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This chat took place on 14 [[October 2010]]. Highlights include [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] still discussing his failing computer, his debt payments to his father being upped from $565 to $580 per month, and his continued [[Chris and money|money problems]].

[7:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, [[Sweetheart]]. 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi! 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
how are you? 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm ok 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you? 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I got a headache right now. I had to boot up the [[PC]] again, and I counted the number of times I had to turn on then turn off; Then shortly after getting onto the desktop, it froze up, and then add 3 more. *groan* 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
today? 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or total? 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
I need a NEW computer. 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
today 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i agree 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you found one you like 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
not to go for a replacement motherboard, but save up for a laptop. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, a replacement motherboard wouldnt be a good idea 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
no I haven't found one yet. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it'd be like putting a bandaid on a gunshot wound 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
only delay the inevitable 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
brb 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello? 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris? are you there? 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
anyway, i'm sure you can find a basic computer for cheap at [[best buy]] or whatever 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
o 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
, i'm back 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or even better, you could probably get new parts and build your own new computer. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
probably be even cheaper 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, i'm sure you can keep the monitor you curerntly have. monitors are expensive 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah, but I'll wait until I have like 3 to 500 saved up, or when my family can afford that much, before I go looking around. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
does your family use the computer? 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
All I would really need is a new tower. 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
this one is the only usable PC in this house at the moment. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, you probably don't need that much 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do your [[mom]] and [[dad]] use it for? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
actually, they don't use it; it's mainly me who uses this computer. 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well it should probably be you who buys a new one then, right? 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if they dont use it, they dont need to put money into a new one 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
my father used to go online with one of our past PCs, but then mom bought a lot of stuff from Goodwill and such and blocked that computer from him. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I still do a thing or two for them online, like make an order, or check something for them. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean blocked? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
put all of the stuff in the way of the small walkway to that computer, essentially blocking anyone from getting to it. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so wait... 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've told you about her hoarding habit. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there is a perfectly functional computer 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and the only problem is that it is physically blocked by stuff. 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you'd rather spend hundreds of dollars on a new computer than spend a few minutes digging it out 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no wonder you couldn't do a single [[pull-up]] 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
even if I could get to it, it is older than this one. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but it works 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will attempt to dig it out, or get to it later and see if it does still work. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its age doesnt really matter if it works. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why didnt you think to do this in the first place? 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
it did have a few kinks last time we checked it. 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm asking myself that same question. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what other stuff do you have buried in your [[house]] under all the junk that you don't bother to look up? 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe there was another [[PS3]] buried in there too, so you wouldnt have to go buy a new one after you destroyed the first one 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, there was ONLY ONE PS3 in this house. 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am the ONLY gamer in this house. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well i suppose you would have an accurate tally when it comes to [[video games]] 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
and [[toys]] 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
and most of my [[lego]] bricks and pieces. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
still, i can't believe you've been putting all this effort and [[stress]] into dealing with an unfixable computer when there is a perfectly functional replacement, and literally the only obstacle to using it is you dont feel like moving a few bits of heavy junk. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I just did not think of it until now. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i am not impressed 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I will move that junk out of the way and get to that computer. 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will do it tomorrow. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you'd rather drop hundreds of dollars to fix a problem, then expend a few minutes worth of physical labor. dropping [[money]] is nothing to you compared to not exerting effort 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, NO, NO. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that is the reason why I have been questioning you on your SSI 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can and I will work to get to that computer. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh@ 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
! 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
Seriously, I just did not think of it. 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
before 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should make one of your videos for me to be this 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
videotape yourself moving the junk and getting the PC out 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can record segments; I can't just leave the camera on for soo long. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll have that video for you this weekend. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm feeling recovered now. 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me go to another topic. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
You want me to pretend I'm talking with [[Lars]], and mocking him with you. I feel I need a rehearsal with you to help me better perform. 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
thank you. 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess I'll start. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
please do 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hello, Lars. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm confused 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
you're Lars in this role-play. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
you know him better than I do, so you can portray how he would react better. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
it would give me a better idea. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the video isnt supposed to be you pretending to talk to lars 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its just a rebuttal to lardes 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
whoops, lars 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
just a mockery. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he said you were [[gay]], in his email to me 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i want you to respond to that 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
explain how and why you are straight. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see what i mean? 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you are responding to Lars, but not pretending to have a chat with him 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok. good we cleared that up 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
but you also wanted me to dress up a bit like him; I do have a bandana, and I have a cap. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yup! 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you get the kahlua? 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've seen enough [[Chris and Race#Black people|black people]] on [[television]] to portray a parody of the current young black dude. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, I could not afford the [[alcohol]] this time; I'll do something drunk for you in a future video. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
?? 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its only like $15. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you couldnt swing tath? 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*that 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
not right now. Besides, I'm saving for the new computer; I'd rather keep my money in the bank. 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I didn't have enough cash for this time. 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you said you would dig up the old computer. 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I will 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont need to save for the new computer now 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
good point. But there is a chance that the computer may not work. 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how much do you have in savings right now? 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't have a savings account right now; I had one at my old bank, but because I had little in it, it was costing me to keep it. And I recently changed banks. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont have a bank account at all? 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will open up a savings account at the new bank I am accounted with next month. 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I have a bank account. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of account, if not a savings? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
checking. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you need a checking account if you dont have enough money to even put in an account? i'm confused 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I started the NEW bank account a few months ago. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt answer my question 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you have a checking account if you dont have enough money for one? 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have money in my checking account now, and I need it to keep the income I get from my current SSI and my future Job. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you need it for? 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, its good to save money, but thats why you should have a savings account 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why is it in checking? 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Let me restart the explination... 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had a Checking AND a Savings at my Previous Bank... 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
The Savings was LOW, and it was costing me monthly to have it, so THAT was closed. 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Then after the [[Troll]] Attacks, my father and I decided to change my bank. 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
so we closed the account at the old bank, and opened a Checking account at the New Bank. 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have not created a Savings Account for the New Bank yet. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, i follow that so far. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i don't get why you didn't start a savings account at the new bank first, and THEN a checking account 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, I give a big chunk of my SSI to [[Bob|my father]] for rent and essentials, and I spend from my bank sometimes; one doesn't spend from their Savings Account, do they? 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
And there is NOT a debit card associated normally with a Savings Account. 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
at least as far as I understand. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, so let me see if i get it so far. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how much do you get a month from SSI? like $820? 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
actually, 810 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, 810 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and how much do you pay to your dad to overcome the debts you owe him? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I give my father 580 a month; possibly more for a small expense that came about the past month. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
only that much? I thought you were giving him more 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
My father gave me a good figure to go with his budget plans for paying off my debts; he has it on his own paper and in his head. 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
And he takes into account leaving me some for my wants or needs. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so that means you have 230 a month. 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when do you get your SSI payment each month? 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Confidentially; on day 3 of each month; unless it falls on a weekend or holiday. 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
then I get it the Friday before. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you got your latest SSI payment 10 days ago. 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
or the day before, if holiday. 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
a bit more than that. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and yet you dont have enough now to buy a $15 bottle of kahlua? 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I currently have about 25 in my account; I don't want to take out from my account to take it below ten. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why not? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I may have something come up surprisingly within the rest of this month, and if I don't have at least 20 to take care of that, I would be in trouble on another surprise later. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of surprise could come up? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
an Emergency 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont have to worry about food or housing 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and what emergency could be so bad that you need to save money for it, but not bad enough that you dont need more than $25 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
like a Tire Repair for example. 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had a flat while my parents were on a vacation a while back; I needed 20 then for the tire repair. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, so beyond that. you started at $230 ten days ago, and now you're at $25. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you spend $205 in the past ten days 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I spent 50 on gaming, 30 on a video, treated my family for good dinner a few times, totaled to 70, and the rest went into food for myself. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
$80 on games. got it 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thought you were combating your addiction, but i guess not 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where did you go when you had those good dinners? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
50 on Games; I spent 30 on the [[Cleveland Show]] season. 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
$80 on more shit to use your PS3 with, at any rate 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
We went to El Agave for one, I treated them to iHop twice. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I spent the majority on the essentials. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
let me ask you this. do you think its a good idea to be going out to eat fancy dinners when you dont have enough money to put into a savings account? 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I realize that, but my family was counting on me here. 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have talked with them about this, and I am going to open a savings account next month, and not take them out so much. 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
they're cool 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt make sense. your dad is the one who has been trying to curb your spending and control your money for months. why would he make you spend what little you have on fancy dinners 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
He just did. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i still don't like that you dropped $80 on video games, yet you still tell me all the time that you are over your addiction 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand the concern, and I have admitted to my addiction. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what does the admission matter when you dont bother to do anything about it? 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am sorry, but you asked me where my money went , and I told you. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, you did, and that is good. 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am spending LESS on the games. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i am no longer impressed that you admit to it. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
Less? it should be none 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have hundreds of games on your PS3. 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
point taken. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
point taken... but you still wont do anything 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you'll probably spend $80 more on video games next month, too 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am spending less on the games, and soon I will be spending NONE on them. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when is "soon"? 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, I am dedicating my funds to you next month. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why soon, why not now? 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, to be fair, you cant spend any more on video games right now i guess, since you dont even have any money for the next three weeks 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
Very much NOW, since I have little in the bank. 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have little in the bank because you already spent it all on games. 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, I did not spend it all on games; I spent most of it on food. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you spent most of it on restaurants. thats not the same as spending it on food 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and now i cant have the webcam video i want tonight, because you didnt save even enough money for one little bottle of [[100 2281|kahlua]]. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
the main point of the video is responding to Lars and mocking him; I can pretend to be drunk. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i want real, not pretend. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hold off on that video until you can get some [[100 2281|kahlua]]. do another one instead tonight 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am sorry for not scoring some alcohol today. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
let me ask: you say you spent $80 on PS3 stuff, $70 on restaurants. that left $80 still 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you spent $80 on just plain groceries in ten days? 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or rather, $55 i guess, if you still have $25 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
half went into groceries, and half went into restaurant trips for me alone. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
restaurant trips? 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like fast food? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how are you going to feed yourself for the rest of the month if you cant spend any more money? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have food here at home; I will be okay. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your parents food? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, my own food. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you buy at the grocery store? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
mostly frozen dinners, lean cuisine variety. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
?? 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those are just as expensive as fast food, if not more so 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and even less healthy than fast food 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not know that. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how could you not know that 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was not informed on the nutritional contents of fast food versus frozen 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes you were. its right on the side of the box 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and i'm pretty sure samantha has told you this before. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
She has mentioned the fast food dangers. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the FROZEN DINNER dangers 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats what she's mentioned 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
she's told me, so dont pretend like she hasnt. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
she has told me about that as well. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, so i guess you did know that after all. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you just lied to me 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, there were some information I did not know about. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
NO. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
stop 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i asked if you knew tv dinners are as unhealthy as fast food, and you said "i did not know that". 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
then i told you samantha said she informed you, and you admitted you did know it 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that is what we are talking about. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you trying to warp my mind with your logic? 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
I didn't remember what she told me, and when you mentioned her, I was reminded. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i guess you werent listening to her very intently if you just forgot everything she said and kept buying tv dinners like you never had a conversation with her in the first place? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
woah. 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do listen to her intently and fully. Memory is a fickle thing. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
funny how you always seem to "forget" the things that require you to change or take effort. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sorry. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so tv dinners are like $5 apiece, right? 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so how many do you have? can't be more than half a dozen or so 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that's going to sustain you for the rest of the month? 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
actually, I have a dozen dinners now, and some leftovers. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so its the 13th today, and you'll probably be paid on the 3rd of November. that's 21 days 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're going to go awfully hungry. 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, my parents do take care of themselves, and they share. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you blow the bulk of your money on fast food and video games, and then your parents have to feed you the rest of the month. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm sorry, i'm just angry because i can't have my lars webcam video tonight because of your spending habits, and because you dont even try to curb any of it 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand your concern, and I am sorry for not getting the beverage, but alcohol is not required to make a video where I mock Lars, respond to his accusation of me, and putting on a bandana, a cap, and pulling my pants down to expose my briefs. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
[[100 2281|the kahlua]] is required. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
otherwise the spirit of the video won't be accurate. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i still want the video, but i will wait until you can do it properly 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
[[100 2281|I will get the kahlua tomorrow.]] 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok. thank you. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
shall we move on to a more pleasant topic? 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
You are of utmost importance to me, Jackie. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have an idea for tonight's video. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
something simple 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you have a scale somewhere? like a bathroom scale or something? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think so. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'd love to see a video of you standing on the scale, and then pointing the camera down at the scale to show that you're only 210 lbs. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
prove to those stupid trolls that you arent fat like they say. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's cool. but I told you I learned I was 210 last time I checked at the doctor's office on their scale. But hopefully I'll still be 210. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I misspoke on the pull-ups; I don't want to misspeak again. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i'm sure it will be fine. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
we'll see. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll step on a scale tonight and record it. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm shooked up a bit from the discussion; I'll recover, but my mind is a blank at the moment. what else is going on with you? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
<3 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
I mean, like something you do during your day aside from homework. or, how's the article we talked about coming? 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
play a lot of xbox when i get time 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
what games do you play? 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
I play the [[Harry Potter|harry potter]] series 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a lot 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i like harry potter. 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's cool. 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
have you tried Lego Harry Potter? 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, i dont really like those lego games. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seem like they're just made to be cash cows 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no substance 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand that. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know you dont care for harry potter though, right? because you said they stole something from [[pokemon]]? 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i was never into pokemon, but i couldnt figure out what you meant. like did they [[parody]] it or something? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah, but that's all water under the bridge now. 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
essentially, it was stealing the popularity, or the limelight from Pokemon (or something like that). 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
something stupid. LOL 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, that is silly. they dont even have the same target audiences 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
besides, if you like pokemon, it doesnt matter if other people dont, right? 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
what do you like most about Harry Potter? 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i guess i like j.k. rowling's inclusiveness 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
interesting. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
she had prominent [[gay]] characters like dumbledore, but it was never obvious that he was. as a character he wasnt defined by his sexuality like gay characters in tv and movies so often are 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
huh. do you like Dumbledore? 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he's a hero and a great leader. 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's neat. what details lead you to the "prominent gay" aspect of him? 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there arent any details in the book actually. rowling revealed in an interview he's gay 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so knowing that, it goes to show how he overcame homophobia and hatred that so many gay people endure to become such a great leader. it makes you respect him more 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
"inclusivenss"; to my understanding means to include most any person type or thing; what else in the stories are examples of the inclusiveness? 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
nevile longbottom has [[aspergers]]. he has very low self-esteem for much of the books, but he eventually realizes what a talented and capable individual he is and reaches his full potential 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
now that I can relate to more. I have had moments of low self-esteem a lot, because aside from my [[autism]] and my social phobias, I sometimes feel [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally slow]]. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you can compare yourself to neville's autism 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe you should read the books! you might get something out of them 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
indeed. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
quite 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
Does magic turn you on as well? 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
as well? 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i didnt say harry potter turned me on 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I mean, do you like the magic that went on in the stories. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey! 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe you should dress up as harry potter for a video! 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you have like a dark robe or something you can wear? 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can wear my graduation gown. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
it's a dark blue. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'd really love if you could do that tonight instead of the scale video 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats ok, dark blue is just right 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you'll have to draw a lightning bolt scar on your forehead too, but thats simple. 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
perhaps, I can pretend to cast a spell on those who watch it, something like every time you have an ill thought of someone else, or make a rude comment or judgement, they shall have a pain in the leg. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and make sure you talk in a british accent like harry potter 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can definitely do a british accent. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! pretend to cast a spell on trolls. make something up of your own for me. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
describe what it does in detail, and then cast it. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think I just did. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and make up like a latin-sounding name for it, since all the harry potter spells have kind of latin names 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont tell me! i want to be surprised 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
how about pig-latin? 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
pig latin works too! 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, and lastly, when you upload the video, title it "i put on my robe and wizard hat". 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
except, I won't have a hat. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when i was a kid, me and my friends would pretend to be harry potter, and my [[girlfriend]] always said that when we were about to have a "duel". it will make her laugh 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well thats ok. just title the video that 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Harry Potter, to me, came around during my Teenage years; was he around Longer than that? 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or you could make the hat out of construction paper! just wrap some black paper in a cone shape 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it started back in the late [[1990s|90s]], thats about right 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and you're 22 now? 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, thats right 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me calculate... 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont try that on the road 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, I think you would have been around ten at that time. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, about that i think 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay! i cant wait for my harry potter video!!! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will get to that tonight then. :) h 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh, what will you use for your wand? 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess I can use my PSMove controller. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
or my WiiMote 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the psmove controller works 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll let you go for now, and I'll TTYL. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I'll upload the video later tonight. 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay! 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, talk to you later 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
XOXO XOXO XOX XOX OOXOXXOXXXoo 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
goodnight, sweetheart. 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight!! 

{{-}}

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie Chats]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 7]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie Chat 9]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{FanChats}}
[[Category: Jackie chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 9

2025-12-12T15:33:02Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This chat took place on 20 [[October 2010]]. Highlights of this chat are [[Chris]] recollecting a story about getting punched in the face by a black person and crying on the way home on the school bus, then discussing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and proceeding to actually shit himself during the conversation. He thinks that it signifies a [[Chris and religion|psychic link]] between him and [[Jackie]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris believes soiling himself to be a romantic gesture of [[Love Quest|love]].

==Summary==
*Chris is terrible with [[computer]] care, turning his computer on and off for hours before it's in working order.
*Jackie grills Chris about his [[List of Chris's games|library of games]]. Unsurprisingly, he hasn't played many of them, yet won't part with them no matter what.
*Chris and Jackie have a long conversation about [[eBay]] and Craigslist. Chris refuses to budge on selling details, much to Jackie's chagrin.
*The two speak about bullying. According to Chris, his experience with [[Trolls|bullies]] amounts to people saying "[[Sonic]]'s dead", getting coins thrown at him for him to pick up, and getting slapped on his butt a few times.
*Chris goes into detail about the incident that led to him being moved to the [[Slow-in-the-minds|short bus]]. He and a fellow [[black]] student frequently competed to be the first one off the school bus, and one day, Chris got punched by him on the way out. (He says his glasses got broken and he didn't punch back, though in other accounts, his glasses didn't break,<ref>[[Reddit#Retelling of his move to the Short Bus (11 January 2017)]]</ref> and he did try fighting back.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref>)
*Chris describes his traumatic time on the short bus, saying one of the disabled kids would frequently hit him on the back of his head.
*Jackie spoke with [[God]] last night, revealing God never spoke to Chris at all about the [[monthly tugboat]].
*As the conversation switches to jobs, Chris makes excuses blaming his shitty computer for him not being able to go get one. Chris stubbornly remains jobless.
*Jackie asks Chris about his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS. Chris, in all his [[Honest Content|honesty]], [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|goes at length about the subject]], revealing to her that he has a ''psychic connection'' regarding his shit. Chris apparently crapped himself when it was brought up in conversation.
*Chris leaves the chat to clean himself up; the conversation ends on a creepy note.

==The chat with Jackie==

[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey-Hey. :) h 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is offline 7:20 pm 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) a text message 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi! 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm happy to back here with you again. How are you? 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm doing okay. 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
still lots of homework 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yolu? 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you? 
[7:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's understandable. I'm okay too. 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
The computer maintenance the past weekend was quite enduring. 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, what exactly did you do to fix it? 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I even went inside the XP tower to try changing the wire link between the motherboard and the HDD to see if that would work; nothing. 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I got advice from the dude at PC Pro; I am not an expert on circuitry, so I wouldn't be able to make an eyeball analysis looking at the motherboard. 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
And the PC I brought up from downstairs was damn slow, but it did power up like normal, and I was forced to use the dial-up modem; it did not have an ethernet port. 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what fixed it? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
In the end, I was able to boot it up after just less than 20 power ons and offs last night; its problem still was not isolated, but at least it is on, and until it is forced off, it seems to stay on good. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you just kept pushing the power button over and over til it worked? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, changing the screensaver may have helped; I had a theory behind the past screensaver app. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wow, thats a lot of work 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
especially when going hour after hour after hour doing so. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you say you could just buy a new motherboard for $80? 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just count it as a major blessing that it'll run for until when I can get a new computer. 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but Samantha discourages the replacement and keeping the money towards the new computer. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats a good idea 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
replacing the motherboard will only slightly delay the problem 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so how much have you saved for it now? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
she considers the motherboard replacement a gamble. yes, you got it right there. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
Still only the 20 in the bank at the moment, and I am still looking for a job, and I am going to put the zords up for auction on [[eBay]] later tonight. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am still deciding which game and dvd titles to add to the queue. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you already put the zords up on craigslist? 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no takers? 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should put up those [[ModNation Racers|modnation]] [[games]]. you dont play those anymore right? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, no takers. I figured I'd have a better chance on eBay. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I still play ModNation Racers, [[LittleBiGPlanet]] and [[Guitar Hero]]es. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well what games for the [[PS3]] don't you play? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's what I am deciding with myself about. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, i asked which ones you dont play anymore 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have so many, you cant possibly play them all regularly 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
right now, I can't say, because I can't name all of them off the top of my head right now. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well there you go, thats your answer right there 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
look at your shelf full of games. the ones you couldnt remember the names of? sell them, you obviously dont need those 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I am deciding based on which I would know that I would or would not play again within the next year. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you dont even remember owning them, then you dont need them 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I DO remember owning them. 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I have a photographic memory of the collection. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
one at a time, I can list what I have in that collection. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just told me you dont remember them all. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not photographic memory 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I told you I could not remember them all at once, but give me a spot of time, I can list them all. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, thats beside the point. if a game is insignificant enough to you that you need to think about it before even remembering that you own it, then get rid of it 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ipso facto. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, I am still deciding one by one, title by title. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i simplified it. the ones you dont remember right away, get rid of them 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I promise you that I will have some of them listed on ebay before the week's end. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, speaking of modnation racers, why do you have two copies of it? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
you're referring to the ONE [[PS3]] version and the ONE [[PSP]] version. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right. the same game, for two systems 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
plus, dont you have the game of the year edition too? 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so thats actually three copies of the game. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
The GOTY Edition of ModNation Racers is NON-Existent at the moment, so that is an unjust assumption. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
And when I hear of the GOTY Edition of MNR, I will do the research of comparing the original version to the GOTY Edition. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you have so many other GOTY games i lose track 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
-Will the Original Game Save carry over to the GOTY Edition? -What are its new Features? etc, etc, etc. 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
I only have a FEW GOTY games. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm pretty sure the GOTY edition will just be the same game, but with DLC 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, after considering those facts, and decisions, I then will decide rather or not to Trade in the older game disc toward the GOTY Edition. 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
LittleBiGPlanet was a worth-while upgrade from Original to GOTY. 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but Little big planet was just the same game, but with DLC 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you already had all the DLC so you didnt get anything new 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just paid $60 for something you already had 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, there was NEW stuff on there aside from DLC. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you paid $60 for a small bundle of new DLC 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
There is also additional levels; TOP Level choices that were published on the network beforehand to make it onto the GOTY disc. 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
And more additional features that were not on the original disc. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
levels you could have downloaded for free from the server 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not really; Most Levels you can only PLAY from the Server; Most Likely, they are NOT Opted for being Downloadable. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like, originally, ALL of my Published levels were Opted OUT of being Downloadable; ONLY Playable. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
You would have to be Logged Onto the PSN in order to Play Them. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you need to own them if you can play them? 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
But later, I decided to Share them better by Opting them all into being Downloadable. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Let me put it this way... 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Supposing you were playing LBP, and you found a Fashionable Level that you Enjoyed very much on the Server. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i wouldnt pay $60 for it 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
But , the Creator of that level did not Opt in for that level to be Downloadable. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
You can't take it with you to play Offline. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like a dress you borrowed or rented; you can not keep it forever; you Have to return it. 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont need it in the first place 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have a headache... 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should take some aspirin. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but back to my original question. why do you need two versions of modnation? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have not tried the PSP version, and I was curious after playing the PS3 version, and I had the theory of linking the two to unlock stuff; there wasn't. On that, I will put the PSP version on eBay. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you bought a game, but didnt even bother to play it. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I DID Play it. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you JUST SAID "I have not tried the PSP version" 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the text is so recent its still in my view, i dont have to scroll up 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not only no unlocked content, but the gameplay was not as easy or swift as on PS3. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had not played it BEFORE Purchasing it then. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. well you said "i have not tried", that implies present tense 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand the misinterpretation. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its not a misinterpretation. i didnt misinterpret 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you misspoke 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
difference 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, I misspoke 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway, how much do you think you can get for your [[Power Rangers|zordon rangers]]? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
did you watch the revamped pregnant act video I uploaded? 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes i did. thank you for doing it so quickly! 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
looked much better in good light. 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say for the megazords, 20 to 50; depending on the bidding war. 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you looked up the relative worths of those [[toys]]? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
*20 to 50 each 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're selling mint in the box? never opened? 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, the Megazords are mostly in their original boxes with Styrofoam lining; excellent condition. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if they were out of the box, they'd probably bring $10, max 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I have taken them OUT of their boxes for play. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh... 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats too bad. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I stored them in their boxes during non-play. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you opened them 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats what matters to collectors 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
It doesn't matter; Collectors will still get all of the original parts anyway; still a good value, even though Mint Condition is better. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes it does matter. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
collectors want things that have never been opened. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the value is drastically lowered if an item is opened. thats just the way collecting works 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
ONLY if they can get them never opened; most of the time, that is not the case. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're not hearing me 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if its been opened, its worth less. thats all there is to it 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, MINT, they'd be worth probably in the hundreds to thousands. 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which is why I state realistically that I'd probably get 20 to 50 each now. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if i went to a restaurant and ordered a $50 steak, but they were out, do you think i'd still pay the $50 for a cheeseburger? 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not how supply and demand works 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just because a collector might not be able to find a mint item doesnt mean he'll pay mint prices for an open and used item 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
realistically, you'll be lucky if you get $5-$10. 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which is why I'm NOT asking for Mint Prices. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those toys are not worth hundreds of dollars 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm not asking for Hundreds. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you are asking mint prices. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
$50 is mint price for a toy like that 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
per zord 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many offers have you gotten? 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
over a decade ago. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
NO 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how can you know what mint price is if you havent done any research? you're just assuming mint price is hundreds 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
Years have gone by; they would be worth MORE than that now in Mint. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they are NOT mint 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not say they were mint. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my question stands. how can you just assume that when you've done no research on the market 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have had past experience in that area in the [[pokemon]] [[cards]]. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
pokemon cards are not zordon ranger toys. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
to collectors, they are two totally different things. 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've seen an Original First Edition Base Set Charizard card over a hundred dollars in 1999; now it would be worth probably 500 to 1000 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
http://cgi.ebay.com/mighty-morphin-power-rangers-shogun-megazord-/200531237867?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2eb097dbeb 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was giving you an example. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats a link to an opened zordon toy. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its $5.50 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
plus, not everything gets more expensive with age. 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
give it more time towards its closing time; there will be more and more bids for greater prices. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
doubtful 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
it still has over a day left. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're counting on that like its certainty. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're just assuming that the price will skyrocket 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have seen it happen. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not every time 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not every time 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just because you see it once does not mean it is reliable as a certainty 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but it IS possible. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not once; multiple times. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt mean you should get your hopes up. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you seem to be counting on getting hundreds of dollars from this 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i ask again: how many offers have you got 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm hoping for over one hundred in all. 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
none. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
look at this 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
http://www.megavideo.com/?d=2M42JXJJ 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
because they're looking more often on eBay; not craigslist. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a guy thought he was going to get tons of money for some zordon ranger toy, but he was really disappointed. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
?? 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
people use craigslist 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
people buy things all the time from craigslist 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm sure plenty of people have seen your ad 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i noticed on your craigslist ad that you said something like, "all sales are final and non-negotiable, unless i get a better offer" 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean by that? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I meant one person may make the offer for the asking price, but then someone else may come along and offer more. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess I could have worded that better. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if you said you would do the deal with one buyer for, say, $20, and someone else then offered $40, you would honor the $20 right? 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, I'd take the 40, unless the first guy can offer more. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said all sales are non-negotiable. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i guess that doesnt make sense anyway. why would someone offer more money if you've already got a listing price? 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it probably wouldnt come up. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I get it, I could have worded that statement better. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have a headache. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll give you a moment, while I fix the statements. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no im fine 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont go anywhere 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, tell me more about the bullies you dealt with in school. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
we touched on that subject when we talked about your school days, but i dont think we got very far into it 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you there? 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-! 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm back 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just edited all of the [[Power Rangers|zord]] listings; replacing the statement in question with the following... 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
Item is subject for negotiation for better offers. No refunds after purchase. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
is that better? 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds good enough. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
thank you. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, school bullies... 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
[[education|from elementary, to middle, to high school, to college]] 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly, I only had bullies who would not hurt me physically; they only would approach me and say "[[Sonic]]'s Dead". Then I'd respond, "No, he is not. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
any you've dealt with 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
this happened in Middle School. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they just said "sonic is dead" 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
weird 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
It happened a lot 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
they were referring to Sonic the Hedgehog, of course. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would they say that? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
just to get on my nerves. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
which they did back then. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but why sonic? i know you like sonic games, but it seems a weird way to get to you 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
Then [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]] taught me not to let other people keep pressing my buttons. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you do in response to them? 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am a BIG Sonic Fan. 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd shout back, "No, he is not." 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
and then the bullies would wander off on their way. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i always wondered if tails was [[gay]]. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did they bully you in any other ways? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, Tails is straight. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
Although, interestingly, in early concept of the character, the Tails character was a girl, but they later decided to make him a boy. 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hmm. well, whatever. anyway, did they bully you in any other ways? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, they did not. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about other bullies? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
In [[High School]], there were a few instances of bullies throwing [[Money|change]] at me and I'd [[Inos|pick up the change]]. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
then they'd laugh. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
stupid. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why did you pick up the change? 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
DUH. I mean, you'd see a penny on the ground in your path, you'd pick it up and keep it for later spending, wouldn't you? 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they were laughing at you. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
it's still money. 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you pick up change wherever you see it? 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
and their loss for throwing it away so recklessly. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
why not? 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where do you do this? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the ground; not from within something like a register, of course. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well i assumed you werent picking it up from the ceiling. 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
Come on, it is lost change; it happens everywhere. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
any specific examples? 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i get weirded out by picking up things off the ground. you never know where its been 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, recently, I picked up a dime off the floor of [[Fashion Square]]. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you get bullied in [[college]] at all? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
there was another thing from High School I was going to tell you of. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
the small instance where this [[black]] girl was slapping my butt as she passed; it did not last long, I turned her in to the assistant principal, and the problem was resolved. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about on the school bus? thats a common place for kids to get teased 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the school bus in High School, I usually sat in the front by the door. for some stupid reason, this black boy wanted to beat me out of the door, and it was some silly race to be the first out. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so he just raced out the door? doesnt sound so bad 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
One day, he punched me; I did not punch back, but he broke my [[glasses]] that day. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was a hard punch. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
I didn't bleed, fortunately. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I was hurt. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, everyone gets punched in school, thats nothing 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I cried on the way home that day. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but did anything happen because of the event? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how old were you when that happened? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like 11 or 12? 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I got demoted from the Regular school bus to the freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus. 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
15 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
anything happen on the [[autistic]] bus? 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not get bullied, but I did get freaked out by the one or two [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped individuals]]. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
On e of which was a stuttering, groaning slow-minded individual. He sat two seats behind me; he reached over one time and hit me on the back of my head. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know what the hell he was thinking at that time, but I did not appreciate it. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sometimes autistic kids like that can be kind of beligerent 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats too bad. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
he was not autistic. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
He was mentally challenged. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
autism is a mental challenge, isnt it? 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
arent you mentally challenged? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
there are a Number of Varieties of Mental Problems. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not so much; I am High-Functioning, and most of the time I think at a normal speed, but sometimes I do feel like I'm thinking slow, or I'm not quick-witty. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, yes. you are mentally challenged then. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
That individual was NOT autistic. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you sure? 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the social aspect, and few retarded moments, yes. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
and Yes, I am sure. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how do you know? 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you ever talk to him? 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, sometimes kids like that are really [[masturbating]]. if you couldn't see his other hand, maybe he was beating his meat. what do you think 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
His older brother, who was Normal-Minded told me. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
ON A SCHOOL BUSH?!!!! 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, it happens. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
You have got to be kidding me. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a lot 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
especially with retards. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they just cant keep their own hands off themselves sometimes 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
He was not masturbating; his older brother was there, and that retard did not have his zipper down. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
OH!!!! 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i forgot to tell you. 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
[[God]] answered my prayer last night while i was sleeping!! 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
really? 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
what happened? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i couldnt really see anything, since it was dark and my eyes were closed. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but god came onto me and revealed to me that he never spoke to you regarding the [[tugboat]]. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he said he didnt know who you had been talking to. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
interesting. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah. good thing i double-checked with God 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so speaking of that, have you thought any more about the tugboat question? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes I have thought more about it, and the only answer I can give you for why I would need the tugboat is to pay my father what I owe him, do what I need to do or want to do, until when I can finally get a [[job]], which I am still working on. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well... 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what you "want" to do isnt a justification 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so keep that in mind as you keep thinking on it. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
noted. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats why its good that you're applying at so many places. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many have you applied to this week? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
so far, just Best Buy and reapply at [[Wal-Mart]]. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've been seriously busy with the computer problems the past week; it was hard for me to think about the job hunt at the times. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
especially when I could not get to the websites. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not an excuse really. you could go apply at places in person 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I've tried on the browser on my console; wouldn't load, needed a new flash app or something. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it probably would have made you feel better to step away from the computer for a while and go do something else productive. 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but that would have used gas, and with the price of gas these days, write your own punchline. 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you drive to go to get fast food and the mall anyway 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but not everyday. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you couldnt have one or two days of driving to a bunch of places to apply? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will consider that this week, now that I have this computer running again. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your computer shouldnt have anything to do with it 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, there are always going to be some kind of problem or imperfection. just because your computer conks out, or something else stressful happens, doesnt mean you can just drop all other responsibilities. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, I've been also concerned with getting back onto the AIM to talk with you and reformatting and uploading the [[videos]] I've recorded over the past weekend. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand, but my mind can only think about so much at one time. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, whatever 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i had a question 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what is this "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]]" thing i've read about on the [[cwcki]]? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. in the past, I have literally crapped my underpants; for years now, that has happened a lot less. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how often does it happen now? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly, it happens from stress. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
not often. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, how often 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when was the most recent time? 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i wont judge you, i'd just like to know. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont feel embarrassed 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i had a cousin who had a similar problem. 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
it depends on a) knowing it's going to happen beforehand with the common signs. b) if I can make it to the bathroom in time. c) it may happen without me knowing it; painless. d) a mistaken fart that turned out to be a crap. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
actually, for the most recent time, and when you brought it up, it is like our minds are synced... 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean, when was it? 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
you brought it up a few minutes ago in the question... 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sitting in a dirty pair right now. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just did it this conversation? 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i must be psychic or something. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what triggered it? 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
like 5 minutes ago, I think; it happened painlessly, and I did not notice it until I resituated myself in my seat. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
probably stress from an earlier topic. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how often, when you change your underwear, are they dirty as such? 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
let's just say you and I have some sort of psychic link; as you recall, there have been a few moments before when it has happened between us. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aw, thats romantic. 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
dirty, yes, but sometimes it may actually be just having the poo in my butt, and it hadn't touched my underpants; at those times, they're stainless. 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
romantic, yes, but at the moment right now... I feel the need to put it to question. LOL 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
If I may, I'll let you go for now, so I can take care of myself. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
8-) 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, i can talk to you later. go clean yourself up 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll TTY Thursday night. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thursday sounds good! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I appreciate your understanding. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its ok. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
luv you too 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
bye for now. 

==References==
<references />

{{-}}

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie Chats]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 8]]
|nextlink = [[Lars Call]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: Jackie chatlogs]]

Lars Call

2025-12-12T15:32:32Z

HurdyGurdsen:

[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|Lars, with boat. ''Sheeeiiit''.]]

{{quote|I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the booty call! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang!|[[Chris]], talking like a [[niggo]].}}

{{quote|I want [[Jackie]] and I want to be able to keep my [[video games]].|[[Chris]], torn between two loves}}

The '''Lars Call''' was a ninety-minute phone conversation on 4 [[November 2010]] where Chris talked with [[Jackie]]'s [[Chris and Race#Black people|black]] [[JERKS|ex-boyfriend]] [[Lars]] (actually [[Alec Benson Leary]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/abl-q-a.805/#post-54378</ref>), discussing addictions, a parade he promised Jackie, what he would do for a woman, and boats, all in a surprisingly civil manner (especially given the [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|previous]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|videos]] Chris made about Lars). Chris got comfortable with {{w|Ebonics}}, and hilarity ensued. Near the end of the call, Lars mentions he's going to have [[Chris and sex|sex]] with Jackie, and Chris completely misses what he just said as he hangs up the phone, once again proving how dense Chris really is.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Lars Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|sa0arS6afRw}}
| Stardate = 6 November 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Jackie]]; [[Lars]]
| Saga = [[Saga#Jackie_Saga_.28April_5.2C_2010_-_November_26.2C_2010.29|Jackie]]
}} </center>

==Summary==
* Jackie (who, if she isn't voiced by her, sounds remarkably similar to [[Kacey]]) greets Chris before handing the phone to Lars.
* Chris confronts Lars about him forcing Jackie to have an involuntary abortion. Lars says "my bad", and explains he was not ready for such a high-maintenance task like raising a child.
* Lars got rid of his boats, Chris gets rid of his [[Lego|Legos]].
* Lars didn't finish school because people played [[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]].
* Lars doesn't understand [[autism]], after Chris's explanation, he thought it was [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and [[Ultra Sonichu|<s>Down Syndrome</s> Downtism]].
* Chris whines about [[trolls]], not getting a [[job]], and being called a [[homo]]. Lars hears him.
* Chris doesn't like when people say "[[gay]]" [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#Transcript|as in stupid]], Lars doesn't like when people say "nigga" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|out of context.]]
* Chris explains his [[comic]], and how he incorporates IRL enemies into it. Lars tells him to continue the comic in order to conquer the trolls.
* Lars says Jackie is upset because she isn't an inspiration for Chris to do the comic, and he sometimes doesn't do what he tells her he will.
* Chris tells Lars he's a [[virgin]]; Lars says that explains his rage against the trolls.
* Chris rewrites the comic so he doesn't kill "[[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Bason Nigga]]".
* Jackie better not burn that casserole.
* Lars notes how Chris promised a parade for Alec to Jackie. Chris denies it, but Lars has the [[Jackie_E-mails_20|e-mail proving he did]].
* Jackie initially broke up with Lars because he told her he'd lose the boats, and he didn't. Chris feels him. Chris is Lars's nigga.
* Chris is willing to give up [[the Moon]] and Mercury if he had it, for Jackie. He's really giving up video games, but he won't sell his "[[PS3|PS Triple]]".
* Lars spent $35,000 on six credit cards for boats. He won't let addiction rule his life anymore.
* Chris swears on the grave on his [[Aunt Corina]] he will not spend anymore on his [[PS3]] (at least it wasn't [[Patti]]).
* Lars spent nine months as a volunteer at a hospital, enjoying the sight of [[Bob|old white men]] dying.
* More bitching about [[trolls]].
* Lars and Chris talk about their criminal records, Lars makes trespassing sound bad ass.
* Chris apparently turns into a nigga himself as about halfway in and speaks in Ebonics (off and on) the remainder of the call.
* Chris would [[Death threats|shoot]] [[Michael Snyder]] if he had the chance. Michael was just looking for a reason to [[ban]] Chris.
* Lars gives Chris a scenario of someone breaking in. Chris says he's [[100_2278|strong]] and would kick their ass (but only if they hit first).
* Chris likes black people on [[TV]]. Lars gets mildly offended upon hearing how Chris likes ''Sanford & Son''. They both hold up their fists in black solidarity.
* The conversation goes back to Jackie. Lars himself notes how well the two are getting along despite their shaky start, and wonders why Jackie is mad at Chris.
* Chris claims that he will make things right.
* Lars tells Chris that his [[dick]] is four inches of straight goodness.
* Lars burned his boats because he wants Jackie back and suggested that Chris burn his PS3 to get Jackie back.
* Lars thinks he has the upper hand over Chris in the competition over Jackie. He was known as "Ram-rod" in [[High School]].
* Chris talks about his [[Cherokee]] heritage. He's not a "casino nigga" and beats the stereotype that Native Americans have jobs.
* Lars respects Chris trying to win Jackie back, while Lars is "[[Hanky-panky|ramrodding]]" her.
* Chris talks about [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying his first PS3]], Lars questions why he got a second one. Chris says he needs it as a computer. Lars asks why he didn't get a computer instead.
* Lars tells Chris to improve himself whether Jackie stays with him or not.
* Jackie can't come to the phone; she's taking a massive shit, courtesy of [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]].
* Chris whines that making changes is [[Autism|too hard]].
* Lars says Chris is afraid of women. Chris denies it.
* Chris makes some [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|suspicious-sounding grunts]]. He says he didn't have [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]] for dinner, but a fish fillet.
* Lars lost his virginity at 8; he was scared, so he only made the bitch cum twice.
* Lars tells Chris if he loses the PSTriple, his ass will be kicked out on the street and Jackie will be at Chris's doorstep the following day.
* Lars concludes with the fist of solidarity, he will bang Jackie when she gets out of the bathroom.
* Chris promises [[Honest]]y to Lars, he wants Jackie AND [[video games]].
* Chris likes [[Fanta|orange soda]].
* Lars didn't know what [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']] or Nickelodeon was. In fact, he's more familiar with the 1920s-era coin theaters that granted the TV channel its namesake.
* Lars wraps up the call so Chris can go to bed, and so Lars can go fuck Jackie.

===Stats===
* The word "nigga" is used 185 times. Chris uses the word twice.
* "Shit" is used 554 times.
* "Yo" is used 46 times.

==Transcript==

===You Are Now About to Witness the Strength of Street Knowledge (0:01 - 7:00)===
'''Jackie:''' [''In shrill, forced enthusiasm''] Oh hi Chris, it's Jackie! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' ...Oh... Jackie... Hi.
 '''Jackie:''' Well I got your email!-
 '''Chris:''' Well- Yeah. Oh, uhhh. Yep. What's a... What's... a... [''sounds of frantic typing''] what's... a what's... uh, your response there?
 '''Jackie:''' Um, sorry I missed your- missed you last night, I just didn't know if you'd be around! Listen, I'm going to turn you over to Lars right now, and I'll be listening. So you-
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Jackie:''' -two boys play nice, ok?
 '''Chris:''' Um, ok.
 '''Jackie:''' Lars!
 '''Lars:''' YO! [[Women's rights|BITCH WHERE MAH DINNER AT?!]]
 '''Chris:''' ...hmm, hello?
 '''Lars:''' Yo!, yo-yo-yo. Who dis at?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo dawg?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo who did-did? Yo this be Lars and shit, who dis?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, this is Christian.
 '''Lars:''' Yo! yo, Christian C. How y'all doin' dawg?
 '''Chris:''' Um, I'm-fu- I'm fairing out. How are you?
 '''Lars:''' Doin' alright, nigga. Shit. Yo, I'll be honest with y'all dawg. I ain't wanna do this call and shit at first, y'know? You diggin' and shit? Bet y'all pro'lly felt the same way, and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' But then my-m, my girl Jackie, she be all like: "Bitch, you best be doin' this call! Lest I'll be all breakin' up you with y'all and shit." So I be like doin' the call and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dawg-
 '''Chris:''' ...Ye-
 '''Lars:''' -what you wanna talk about?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well, uh... yeah for uh... well, for one thing, well, I know what you put- what you did do to Jackie a while back, you spike- you spiked her coffee and killed the unborn child.
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo yo yo, dog, yo dog. That my bad and shit, yeah. I'll own up to that shit, sure, shiiit. That's in the past and shit, dog. I own up to that shit, and that's in the past. And I own up to that shit. Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, but how did you own up to that?
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't do that shit no more. I made that shit up. Yo dog, what you talkin' 'bout? Shit be long gone, water over the bridge and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, the fact remains that she was pregnant with your child, then she lost it.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, all got- I ain't ready to be no baby daddy and shit. Shit, yo, nigga get scared and shit, fuck. Y'all know what that be like and shit. Y'all ain't be no a-dult and shit, you know? Ain't ready to take on no a-dult responsiblities. Fuck. I done pour libations and shit for that baby, I tell ya what.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I done regret it and shit. You know? Shit happens. Shit be in the past, though and shit. I'm a new nigga, now. You dig, you feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, so I be burn no baby no baby fetus no more neither. I'm ready for baby now. I got a job and shit, I got rid of my stupid boats and shit too, damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard you burned those boats.
 '''Lars:''' Got rid of all of them boats. Not just my boats, neither. Got rid of boats, got rid of my expansion pass for boats, got rid of my paint kits for them boats, shit you know dog, I be goin' through my closet and shit, I got paint kit for boats I ain't even own, nigga. Man, sometimes a nigga just face his life and shit, when he ain't facin' it, he ain't realize what he got, 'til it's gone. Be like the song, and shit. You gots to get rid of all that shit, you feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I got boats in the closet, boats in the yard, boats in the living room, boats in the lawn, boats in my driveway and shit. Boats on the roof and shit. Shit be takin' over my house. Like a bad habit and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, y'all got- y'all got any [[Recycling|nasty habits]] and shit there Chris?
 '''Chris:''' N-nasty habits?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, you know, any boats and shit? Model [[Wikipedia:Planes, Trains and Automobiles|planes, and trains, and automobiles]] maybe? Anything that be weighing you down, and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah-
 '''Lars:''' We all got our demons and shit. You must got somethin', lay it on me, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Oh... okay, well I did have [[CWCville|a whole city]] made out of [[Lego]]s that I tore- I des- pretty much tore it down, and-
 '''Lars:''' Huh, y'all done got a city of [[Lego]]s and shit? Man, I feel you, that's gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How much 'fetti y'all get for all them Legos, how much money you get?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, nah I didn't get very- I didn't give no- I didn't get much money from... I did- there just a whole bunch- a whole bunch of pieces of bricks and whatnot and people are already on their way and most children already have their own bunches of Legos, and they're like they don't need it any more to call up their house and all that.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, I feel you. Take them Legos to the bank, get some Lego bills and shit. Man, I just took $30 worth of nickels to the bank this mornin'. Got myself some bills, I did. [[Wikipedia:United States twenty-dollar bill|Jackson]] and [[Wikipedia:United States ten-dollar bill|a Hamilton]] and shit, goin' to [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeyes Chicken]] with that shit. Bet you feel that, right dog? Y'all ever been to Popeyes and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, no I cannot say I have sampled Popeyes-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, oh dog you missin' out, missin' out. Damn good chicken and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure it is, I have heard good things about Popeyes.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight a'ight a'ight, you feel me, you feel me, and I feel you and shit. Damn, nigga. Yo, yo, I be digressin' and shit, we gettin' off topic. We be talkin' 'bout yours and mines nasty habits and shit, what else do you got, dog? Lay it on me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' I feel all righteous and shit, gettin' rid of all my boats, feel like a new nigga and shit. Feel like a whole new day be startin' for me. You ever have a feelin' like that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have felt that way before.
 '''Lars:''' Tell me all about it, dog.

=== Slow Times at Manchester High (7:00 - 12:30)===
'''Chris:''' Well pretty much felt like- felt like a big time star and all that when I had a good number of [[gal-pals|friends]] back in high school. But then I had- then I graduated and had to leave [[Chesterfield County]] where I was going to [[high school]] and move back [[Ruckersville]]. And then it just, pretty much went downhill for me, and I didn't have too many friends.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, I hear high school be fun and shit. Oh no, dropped out halfway through seventh grade and shit. That's a cross I had to bear and shit. Dayum.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Been tryin' to go to high school and shit, ain't no niggas in the school system be wantin' no nigga up in their classroom. They be playin' "[[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]]" and shit. Shit ain't gangsta, they be straight bustas and shit. Fuckin' niggas. Y'all know 'bout getting tormented and shit, ain't you? Tormented for your differences and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my [[autism]] and considerable [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mindedness]], that has happened to me before.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, dog, au-austiss- wait, the fuck that shit be? D- au...
 '''Chris:''' Autism, it's a- uh, it's a slowness in the mind where, it just, uh, it basically inhibits social functions. Y'know, being able to socialize as well as normal people. You can look it up on [[Wikipedia]].
 '''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be a slow-in-the-mind and shit, then, huh? Like that [[Wikipedia:Down syndrome|Down syndrome]] and shit. My cousin got that shit. Ain't got no neck and shit. Fuckin' shit, nigga can't fit no shirts.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, it's not uh- it is not Down syssdrome, it's way different from Down syndrome, just look it up on Wikipedia, and it's [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].
 '''Lars:''' Be more like that [[Asperger's]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Lars:''' I ain't know anyone with that Asperger's, I hear that's some shit. They be all up in them trains and shit. Maybe I should get tested for that shit, I have my boats and shit. I probably grew out of it though, got rid my boats, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So you got them Asperger's and shit, all right dog- all right. I hear you, I feel you. I feel you, yo, we all got our- we all got our differences, we all gots our liabilities.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What else you got dog? Yo dog, you- you seem like a nice nigga and shit. Man, I ain't think this call gonna be pleaseant and shit, but so far we be doin' good. I ain't know why Jackie be comin' back to me and shit, when she got you. Says she ain't happy with you though. Why we gotta be talkin'? Why Jackie havin' us do this shit? She ain't explain nothing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, she’s, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Man, yo, I love the bitch and shit, sometimes she treat me like a fuckin’ [[Wikipedia:House slave|house nigga]]. Shit, won’t-bitch won’t tell me nothin’.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear you. [[Barb|My-my mom]]-it happens between my mom and [[Bob|dad]]. It’s, uh, lack of communication and-yeah, shit like that.
 '''Lars:''' Feel that, feel that. Fifty percent of marriages in this country lead to divorce because of that shit. Now, I’m a black man, so I’m naturally afraid of marriage and shit, so that probably ain’t gonna affect me and [[Jackie]]. But still, shit ain’t right. Shit ain’t gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear-
 '''Lars:''' Shit ain't [[Wikipedia:Cornbread|cornbread]].
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' So why Jackie be not happy with you and shit? I mean, y'all know why Jackie wasn't happy with me. I wanna know why Jackie ain’t happy with you. We got-we got’s to bond like true niggas.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well, uh, she and I, uh, we’ve had our, uh, our fights as well, but, uh, with my [[computer]] went, uh, went all on the fritz and I wasn’t able to get back out-to get back on, and it’s like, I can’t afford to get a new computer right now to, uh, replace-a new computer tower, and, uh, and we-and we haven’t been able to talk to each other through, uh, AIM and, uh, she’s kinda felt neglected on that. And, uh, also she requested me to upload-to make and upload videos to [[YouTube]] for her, which I have done, and, uh-
 '''Lars:''' A’ight, a’ight, I know about them videos and shit. I’ve been watching that shit. Man, I’ve been wondering what that shit all about, then I find out Jackie been asking y'all to do shit. Yo yo yo yo dawg, let me ask you a question and shit, though. Yo-
 '''Chris:''' Uh huh.
 '''Lars:''' You been doing these-You been doing these videos and shit. Why she be mad and shit? You be doing what she asks, right? You be doing everything-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' -she asks? (pause) Somethin’ about-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Somethin’ about some comic she was bitchin’ about the other day. I was like, “Bitch! Go make me my fuckin’ steak dinner, bitch!” But she just keep railing on about [[Book10Replacement|that fuckin’ comic video]]. I watched that comic video, you scribbled some shit, maybe ‘cause you ain’t colorin’ shit, I don’t know.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie-Jackie like them colors. Yo, hell, I ain’t got to tell you she like colors. She like me. That’s all the color she needs. I guess she wanted more color from you, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I mean, I recorded that video, I hadn't had a chance to color it in yet, but I had planned to color it in after that, and uh, and th- and I'll be taking the, uh video file and uploading to YouTube at the, uh, library. I just haven't been able to get out in my car lately.

===Turf Wars (12:30 - 16:00)===
'''Lars:''' I heard it be somethin' 'bout you pickin' fights with- with artisans and shit, other cartoonists? You be like, [[troll]]in' and shit. Startin' gang wars and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Turf wars? I come from the streets, I know what turf war be all about.
 '''Chris:''' Eh.
 '''Lars:''' Shit. Ain't no winners in that game. Everybody lose.
 [''Pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's uh, not really a turf war, it's- ah, but I guess it can be considered like that. It's a- I have- I have been havin' my fights and bouts against a- like, a Internet bullies, and cyberbullies. Trolls.
 '''Lars:''' What is-
 '''Chris:''' [''interjecting''] They just, uh- they just, uh- think they're breaking uh- I became like, a Internet celebr- Internet c-celebrity with my, uh, crea- my uh, my genius of [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic]], in my comics and whatnot. So yeah, they uh, just essentially torture me. They, uh- They- they- they- like, they- uh, really weigh me down. And plus, they, uh- like, called my, like, got my, they got overtime from between the hackings and they uh, pretend to be other people, and- and uh, and all that damn shit. It's, they uh- get a whole bunch of, uh [''unintelligible'']
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog. I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' They get a whole bunch of footage from me and they just twist it and turn it the wrong way and just make my-and they just smear my once good name in the mud. Makes it very hard for me to get a job of my own with the background checks. Then-and they pretty much Google my-Google my name and all you get was, uh-all you get’s pretty much, other than the first, and their sole results is, uh, damn [[CWCki]] and uh, damn [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and that’s just a whole bunch of weigh-me-downs-
 '''Lars:''' I feel ya, I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] –bad about me.
 '''Lars:''' That fuckin’ man hold a nigga down. Shit, I’ve been living that shit, whole life and shit. Damn. Fuckin’ niggas tryin’ to hold a nigga down. Yo yo, yo-
 '''Chris:''' You know, Lars-
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo, let m-oh, no no, you go ahead, dawg. You go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Lars:''' You go on with your righteous self.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, they also misla-they also mislabel me as a [[homos]]exual when I am a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Homosexual and shit? Damn. Like on the [[Wikipedia:Down-low (sexual slang)|DL]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']
 '''Lars:''' That what they say?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they be calling me- yeah, they be calling me gay. But I'm a- but I'm a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Man, I know these niggas. Y'all like, they be all like men who have sex with men an' shit? They call themselves gay, but I'm like, nigga, you be gay if you be having sex with men. I mean, what that shit about? Fuckin' gay niggas, ain't wanna admit they gay. You know that gay shit, though, I think it's that, that macho shit. Ain't no black man want to admit to being a gay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Dawg.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] Yeah, yeah plus you know what also, you know along those lines what really ticks me off is when they-when they use the word "gay" when they really mean "stupid" or "retarded."
 '''Lars:''' Shit. All be like when niggas be using the word nigga an' shit. That be our word and shit, ain't no one got the right to use that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You know how that feels 'an shit, it hurts me. Right here. Right fucking here.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be tappin' my chest, where my heart muscle is? You can't see it 'cause we on the phone, but that's what I be doin'. To enunciate my point. So.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' What you sayin' is, when people call you gay, that be hurting you the same way, 'cause "gay" be like your word. Just like "nigga" be like my word, an' shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Essentially, yeah, I know.

===The Alec Bason Nigga Parade (16:00 - 26:43)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo, dog, dog. Let me, let me go back, let me ax you. Ya'll say you be drawin' comics and shit, what kind of comics you draw, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ugh, it's uh, from a idea I had. Uh, in a nutshell it's essentially combining [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Called him, uh, [[Sonichu]]. And that's all--he's like this, he actually goes on the adventures and whatnot, similar to Sonic the Hedgehog in one, he's got like electric powers and he can run fast and everything. They, and he hangs around, he hangs around, goes out with [[Rosechu|his girlfriend]] and uh, yeah, eventually they get married and uh, they have [[Sonee & Rosey|children]].
 '''Lars:''' Shit, be like [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie comics]] and shit. Y'know, I always though Archie be [[Homos|gay]] an' shit. Fuckin' Archie.
 '''Chris:''' N-no-
 '''Lars:''' [[Wikipedia:Archie Bunker|Archie Bunker]] with his negativity, fuckin' callin' people nigger. Gooks. Swanks. Wanks. Negros. All of his [[Wikipedia:Jughead Jones|jughead]] remarks, shit. Fuckin' Archie. That be like what [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]] is like, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean essentially, that would be what it would've been, but then I, then that, I kind of like lost track of when the trolls, the cyberbullies, they weighed me down. And then they, then you know the expression, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Well, they used to get on my mind so much that they get, then I end up drawing them into my comic books, making them into villains, and yadda-yadda-yadda. They just, they just...and they just essentially just worsened my... most of my books. And then-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered adulterous. Even some, even some-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Even some-
 '''Lars:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' Even some [[nudes|naked]] things I had but I, I just up and did. You know.
 '''Lars:''' You ain't be drawing your comic because these, 'cause these white niggas what be hatin' on your work. They be drinkin' all that Haterade. That why you ain't be drawing. I see.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Aw shit, dog! That be why Jackie asked you to do the comic and shit! Shit, it all falls together now, the last puzzle piece in place. Cracka, you know if you stop that it means they win, right? Ya'll gots to get up on that comic and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I real, yeah, I really do need to get back to drawing more, drawing more p, drawing more comics and pages. But I just haven't been able to find the inspiration. They weighed me down so bad they just affe-, they just affected (?) me in the back of my mind and my subconscious.
 '''Lars:''' 'Em dog Jackie be telling me she thought she'd be your inspiration and shit. Ain't that the case and shit? What be goin' on then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she, yeah, she did-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be all like...Jackie be all like "Aw shit, nigga!" That's what she said to me, she said "Aw shit, nigga! Why ain't Chris be drawin' no comic for me? Ain't I no inspiration and shit? Dayum!" And I'll be like "Damn, bitch! Go make me my steak dinner!" Bitch be ballin' and shit. Fuckin' smack a ho... shit keeps up. Why you ain't draw the comic and shit for her?
 '''Chris:''' Y-y-you can't, you can't exactly rush inspir- you can't exactly rush inspiration, for... uh... for one thing.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo! But ain't, ain't my bitch Jackie, ain't she give you the story and shit for this comic vidya?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she gave me the idea of, like uh, for uh, for the, for uh, one dude who originally was definitely not original part of the comic scene, but then he did his [[parody]] against me, and uh, in his comic he portrayed killing me and, they're like getting to war (?) go against me and uh, even, even agreeing with this, even agreeing with this guy who pretends, who uh, pretends to be me and... (sigh). Just more, whole bunch of more shit right there. Anyway, what, anyway what she wanted me to throw him a- she wanted me to throw like a parade in a, in a, in a... in the comic, in my comic scene. And you know, like, you know, I mean he did what he did to me in his comics and I took it literally. It's like, you know, he fuckin', he fuckin' just shot, he fuckin' just, a whole bunch of bullet wounds in one go on my, on my, on myself. And I ain't gonna throw him a parade on that, on that, on that scene and whatnot.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, I feel you angry an' shit, dog, I feel you furious an' shit. You furious at this nigga. An' I feel it. You know, dog-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be talkin' to me. Jackie be sayin', ain't the problem that you hate this nigga. Problem be, that you lie to her and tell her you gonna do it when you ain't mean to. What up with that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Long pause]'' Well, I have told her that I was eh-I would not be giving him a parade but she just insisted on that and she just, uh, and I would, I would say that she just, kind of like, got in her mind that, she thought that was that-I was definitely going to do that, even though-
 '''Lars:''' My shoulder, Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Told her-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo dog, yo dog, my shoulder, Jackie. She be all like, she email you and ax you to do this video an' shit, an' then you email her back and say, "Yeah bitch, ain't no problem an' shit, I'll be doin' that." Ya'll ain't made no, no... no prov-ver-acations an' shit. Ya'll ain't made no provesations.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well, I mean that, I told her I would, that I would draw her the pages, but I did not tell her that I was going to throw him- throw him a parade in the pages because I had said that I was not giving him a fucking parade.
 '''Lars:''' She said she wanted a parade an' shit, and then you write back saying you were gonna do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' I mean I feel her anger. I feel her righteousness and shit. Lie of omission still be a fuckin' lie and shit. Ya'll dig, dog?
 '''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man, y'all got anger and shit, and I feel that. I feel that, I really do and shit nigga, but y'all got to stand up to yo' woman and shit, damn! Woman be tellin' you to do shit, y'all ain't just be lyin' to her. You gots a problem wit' yo' woman, you ain't lie to her, then all you got's two problems. Ya dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, what was that?
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid? ''[[China|Pussy]].''
 '''Chris:''' How often-
 '''Lars:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' How often do I get laid?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, when the last time you cut some trim and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... I'm actually a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]].
 '''Lars:''' Aw, shit, dog. Explains that anger and shit. This be why you angry at them trolls.
 '''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Yeah, among other things.
 '''Lars:''' Shit dog, see- See dog, you be lyin' to women and shit, they ain't like that. Man, you ain't wanna do what no woman tells you to do, you just tell her straight up to her face. Then you have her go make you a steak dinner and shit. But you ain't lie to her and shit. Shit ain't gangsta. Shit be straight busta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did tell her straight- I did tell her straight up that I was not gonna be throwing that- I was not gonna be throwin' him a fuckin' parade. I was not gonna draw him in a parade.
 '''Lars:''' [''Talking over each other''] Yo dog, I be looking at printouts and shit. Y'all know us niggas don't be doin' too well on the Internet, Jackie be printin' out printouts and shit for me. Yo I be lookin' at printouts and shit. And...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' In the email, she said, "Hey Chris, why don't y'all do that parade video for that, Alec... Alec Bason... Nigga, whatever his name is. Alec Bason Nigga. And then you say, "Sure Jackie, I'll be on that shit!" Y'all ain't make not protestations. why ain't y'all say nothing then?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. Well-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all said you gonna do it. Ya'll not mean to do it. You feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, tomorrow, to let you know, uh- This, it was essentially, in the replacement pages where I do not, uh, end up, I do not end up giving Alec a gory- and his crew, a gory demise, like I did originally. ''(Pause)'' I did not-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, bitch Jackie said to throw this nigga a parade. You say "a'ight, I'm a do that." Then you didn't. ''(Pause)'' You be lyin' to women and shit often, dog? This be why you still a virgin and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)''
 '''Lars:''' Smellin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' No- No, it's... ''(Sigh)'' Well... Wait a minute, ''(Sigh)'' My brain- I gotta catch up my brain, here. Mm.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight. I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause; some grunting heard while Chris catches up his brain)''
 '''Lars:''' ''(At Jackie:)'' Yo bitch don't burn that [[Wikipedia:Casserole|casserole]]! Fuckin' bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' Hold- Hold on.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, you still there?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Yeah dog, I be here. I be wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Alright, well. Well, I do not mean to, I did not mean to lie to her, but I did tell her straight up that I did not- That I had no intention of throwing that... Of throwing that dude a parade.
 '''Lars:''' Nah dog, I be lookin' at the emails, she said to throw him a parade, you say you gonna do it. You ain't say "I ain't throwin' a parade."
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah well I told- Yeah I mean I told her I did not wanna throw him- throw him- throw him a parade.
 '''Lars:''' When you tell her this shit, I ain't see this shit. When you tell her you ain't throwin' a parade? I need some help and shit, dog, I ain't feelin' where you at.
 '''Chris:''' Well, maybe uh...
 '''Lars:''' Gots ourselves a... discommunication.
 '''Chris:''' I- Yeah... I think it was discommunication.
 '''Lars:''' No I mean between us and shit dog, I ain't feeling where you at. 'Cause I see the emails and shit, she say throw a parade for the nigga. You say a'ight. But you ain't mean a'ight.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I said- Well I said alright in drawing the replacement pages.
 '''Lars:''' You said a'ight to the whole email though.
 '''Chris:''' But I did not-
 '''Lars:''' You ain't pick out bits and pieces, and say yes to this, and no to that. That's why I'm- I be confused, I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah uh-

===Fueling the Fire (26:43 - 28:30)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, let me relate a cautionary tale an' shit. Shit, shit happened way back in Jackie an' I first relationship and shit. Man, bitch be all like, "Lars, you best be gettin' rid of them boats, lest I bounce and shit," and I be like, "A'ight, a'ight dog, I'll be gettin' ridda my boats and shit, shorty. Shit, you'll see and shit. Damn!" Then the bitch was like, "A'ight, you be gettin' rid of them boats, I don't wanna see no boats here in forty-eight hours." I'll be like, "A'ight." I ain't mean to get ridda them boats. I just went out and bought mo' boats. Shit, bitch was all like, "Lars, you need to lose boats. Y'all be like, addicted and shit. You need to stop buyin' boats and shit." I be like, "A'ight" every fuckin' time. Every fuckin' time. I just payin' the bitch [[Wikipedia:Lip service|lip service]] and shit. Soon enough, whole fuckin' house fulla boats and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I ain't ever mean to get ridda them boats, I just keep buyin' more boats. Y'all ever had anything like that shit? Someone want you to get ridda somethin', you say "a'ight"? Then you don't, and you just keep gettin' more? Fuckin' addiction, and shit. Fueling the fire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Be like slavery, fueling them flames of injustice and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Once you got that shit, can't stamp it out, and shit. Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all feel me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you. Hm. Alright well-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, anyway-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga? Whoa, whoa, dog. Who my nigga? Ya'll be my nigga, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Y'all be my nigga? Say it, dog. Say you my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... I'll be yo nigga.

===Never Gonna Give You Up (28:30 - 34:25)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeit. Dog be righteous and shit, up in here. Be all gangsta and shit. Nigga, I ain't expect this shit, y'all an me. We be homies and shit. Damn. I ain't know why Jackie wanna get rid a yo ass. That's what I'm tryin'a find out an' shit. 'Cause I'm confuzzled. Might be this lyin' and shit, maybe that be why she all mad at you an' shit. Might be somethin' else, I dunno. Anything else? What's goin' on there? ''(Pause)'' How much y'all love Jackie and shit?
 '''Chris:''' How mu- I- I love- I love- I care and love Jackie a lot.
 '''Lars:''' How much? How much- you love her more than what? Put it into quantintative terms and shit. ''(Pause)'' I'll be like-
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' I'll be like- Every night, I be like, "Jackie, I love yo ass more'n the moon an' shit. I would throw away the moon an' shit, Death Star that shit! Fuck. Ain't need to tides an' shit. All I need's my Jackie." Feelin' me? Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What'd y'all give up for that bitch?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well I mean, I'll give up- I mean I would give up most anything for... for Jackie and me to be together.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, she ever ask... ax you to be givin' up shit for her? ''(Pause)'' She ask me to give away my boats and shit. I be all like, refusin' an' shit, first time around. Shit be what burned our relationship. That and the whole fetus thing. Shit. Bitch ain't never gonna let me live that shit down. Be all harpin' on me, every time she serve me dinner and shit. Suckin' my dick, all I hear be like ''(Does impression of Jackie's dick-muffled voice)'' "Lars, why you kill my baby?" Fuckin' bitch. Yo, dog, I be digressin' and shit. Y'all my nigga, y'all gots to be cuttin' me off when I do that. Ten to wax philosophical and shit. My bad. My bad. Let's go back to that question and shit. What y'all givin' up for Jackie? ''(Pause)'' Thinka she like [[Wikipedia:Lent|Lent]] and shit, what you givin' up?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, If I had the moon I would give that up for her as well.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. Be all... poetical. Metaphorical and shit. Poetaphorical. Shit be romance, all [[Wikipedia:Hallmark Cards|Hallmark]] greetin' cards and shit. Bitches love that. Bitches be slobberin' all up on yo balls and dick when they hear that shit. Damn! ''(Pause)'' Practical terms, though, what y'all givin up for her? Like, like the metaphorical, I be givin' up the moon for the bitch. I ain't own the moon and shit. I ain't got no [[Wikipedia:Death Star|Death Star]]. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire]] gonna let no nigga in charge of a Death Star an' shit. Even that biggest galaxy nigga in the world, [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] and shit, turned out to be pasty fuckin' white dude underneath. Shit. [[Wikipedia:Lando Calrissian|Lando Calrissian]], fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sellin' out a nigga to the Empire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What y'all givin' up? I gave up my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I actually, uh...
 '''Lars:''' I burned them boats!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Ashes to ashes. Swords to plowsheds and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I tell you what, I'd be givin' up, uh... all other- I be givin' up, uh... The planet- The, uh planet closest to the Sun for Jackie. Mercury.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, nigga. Ain't that shit be all [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]] and shit now? They be cuttin' three inches off that planet's [[dick]] an' shit? Heard that shit back in [[2006]]. Fuck.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're thinkin' about- You're thinkin' of [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]], the planet that is ''farthest'' away from the Sun, this is the planet ''closest'' to the Sun.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I see. I see. Yeah, Space be black an' shit, but don't let that confuzzle you an' shit. Ain't no nigga goin' up in space, I tell ya what. Fuckin'-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man gonna keep a nigga down. Keep a nigga on the ground. Keep a nigga from flyin'. Keep a nigga from tryin'. Sheeeit. Got my finger on the trigger, niggas wonder why. Livin' in the city, it's do or die, nigga. Y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I know y'all feel me, y'all be my nigga an' shit. Who my nigga? Who my nigga, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I'm yo nigga.
 '''Lars:''' You're my nigga, dog. You're my nigga. A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, I feel you. Let's go back to the metaphorical, metafusical, question of the evening. Y'all be givin' up Mercury?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be givin up [[the Moon]]? Y'all be givin' up [[Wikipedia:Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Moons of Pluto|Nix and Hydra]], goddamn bullshit little moons. What else y'all givin' up? What practicalities and... reala-tala-calaties be you givin' up and shit? In the here and now, what be down here ain't no planet. What y'all givin' up for the bitch? ''(Pause)'' I would give up the Moon, and shit, and I'll give away Ceres, and [[Wikipedia:Proxima Centauri|Proxima Centauri]] and all that shit, but down here on the planet Earth, I be givin' away my boats and shit. Burnin' that shit. Put it to ash. Put them ashes on the mantle. Up on my fireplace and shit. Ain't got no ashes of my daddy, my daddy be fleein' me when I was a baby and shit. Ain't no black man can raise a baby, they all flee. So I ain't got my daddy's ashes. That ain't where he is. Y'all be my daddy for all I know. Shit. ''Man'', I be waxin' off again! You ever just wax off like that? Shit. Once you start, ya just can't stop. 'Til you pop. Fuckin' bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Anyway dog, I be takin' up all the air time- The word time, dawg, you gots ta lay it down for me, what y'all givin' up for Jackie? I'll be shuttin' up now, I'll be shuttin' up now, y'all see your piece, y'all be righteous.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, the uh, the rea- In the reality...
 '''Lars:''' Right, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'd be giving up my... video game time.

===The PS Triple Investment (34:25 - 48:15)===
'''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be gettin' rid a them vidya games and shit. Eh?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got rid of the, I got rid of a lot of video games I've been hoarding over the years.
 '''Lars:''' That [[PS3|PS Triple]] an' shit? Damn. Shit be like [[Chris and money|800 dollars]] and shit, right? Shit be like a money sink. I feel ya dog, be good you be gettin' ridda that shit. How much 'fetti you get for that shit? Y'sell that shit off. yeah?
 '''Chris:''' ''([[stress]]ful pause)'' No, I have not, no- I have not sold my... PlayStation 3. And it ha- and I have invested a lot ''into'' it. Ever since I had it.
 '''Lars:''' Invested and shit? Y'all be like playin' stocks and shit? What y'all talkin' 'bout, "investin'"?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it's just, you know... I downloaded a lot of stuff. On to it.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, I be downloadin' a lotta boats and shit, too. Ain't see me keepin' no boats around, I be burnin' all my boats. Ain't no investment, be a curse and shit. Like a black hole. That be one a them astronomical things. Think [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]] gonna turn into a [[Wikipedia:Black hole|black hole]] 'cause it pissed off about bein' a [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]]. Pluto be like, like a giant boat. Filled with (?) paint kits and shit. All that money.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be givin' up them vidya games. Whoa-whoa-wait, wait, nigga. Nigga, nigga, nigga, my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all say you givin' up them vidya games, but y'all got no- Y'all got the PS Triple and shit, still.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's another thing, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be confuzzled.
 '''Chris:''' That's another thing that, uh, kinda ticks me- It kinda ticks me off a bit, uh, I do not- I do not like it when... When uh, when the trolls, have been- You know, they pretty much seem to have started the trend of calling the PlayStation 3 a... "PS Triple". [[Chris and Hypocrisy|And I just do not- I just- That just rubs me the wrong way, man.]]
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog. Why y'all ain't like that and shit? Just be a box fulla toys and shit, why y'all be defendin' the name and shit? I mean I feel ya, wantin' to defend the name, defend the honor, defend the honor of a honest woman and shit? Man, I be all up on that shit. Wanna be up that poon tang, you gotta be defendin' that honor and shit. Man, like my bitch, little Cubby, he be sayin' "Bitch, yo bitch be all bitch and shit."
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' I be like, "I'm a pop yo ass."
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be standin'- I be standin' up for... I be standin' up for my woman too, you know, I defendin' her from any- from anybody that comes upon her. Yeah, look-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be defendin' your PS Triple like it be a woman and shit? I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' The PS... The PS Triple no woman, it just, it's just a... dang material possession. And the- and, and uh, and Jackie being the wonderful woman she is, and the wonderful person, very s- best person there is, you know... She's a lot more important than a dang ol' video game console. ''(Pause)'' But still, you know, after I invested a whole lot in there over the- over that- over that... my time I had it, it's like you know, I ain't gonna get that back and I'm certainly not gonna be able to get ''[indecipherable]'' for it. Face value.
 '''Lars:''' Ain't y'all gonna get Jackie and shit though? Ain't Jackie be worth more than a PS Triple and shit? Jackie cook a mean steak dinner and shit. All the fixins. Throw some [[Wikipedia:Grits|grits]] on there. Some [[Wikipedia:Starburst (confectionery)|Starburst]]. Little [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] on the side. Mmm-mmm-mmm!
 '''Chris:''' Yep. I tell ya, If I can't, uh, If I can't sell my PS Triple, I tell ya something else, I tell you, another thing I would definitely get rid of for Jackie, I'd get rid of a whole bunch of the, uh... [[Transformers]] I got.
 '''Lars:''' Why can't y'all get ridda that PS Triple though, dog? I- I ain't be feelin' it, I ain't be understandin' and shit. Y'all got my mind twisted and turned, with these phrases. I know y'all ain't mean it and shit, but I ain't be feelin' it. I need y'all help, dog. I be slow and shit, I ain't be figuring it out. Why ain't y'all give up that PS Triple and shit, dog? Worked hook, line and sinker with my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I downl- Listen, I downloaded over 4000 dollars worth of content and... at face value it's not gonna get me back 4000 dollars.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, dog! Ain't about the money and shit. Shit be about gettin' rid of addictions and shit. Y'know I how much I drop on boats and shit? Forty-five thousand dollars! I got like, six credit cards for that shit. Y'know how hard it is for a black man to get one credit card, I got six! Six, nigga. That's how dedicated I was to them fuckin' boats. That's how- them boats was my life, nigga. Them boats was my life! Sheeit. But I burned them boats, ain't get no money for that shit. That money be ''gone'', nigga. I got debts to pay off and shit. But I be an honest nigga now. I ain't lettin' no addiction control me. Why you ain't get rid a that PS Triple? I be feelin' Jackie, like, that's what she want.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Lemme just- Just let me talk, here.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all go ahead, dog. I'm listenin'.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Listen, I do not, I would not need to sell the console in order for me to not spend any more. I just- will just swear upon- Upon my [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grave. On that, and uh, my fam- On the life of myself and [[Barbara|my mom]] and [[Bob|my dad]]. Everybody in my family. And I will just not- I will not spend... Any- I will just not spend any more- ''[Audio gets fucked up here while Chris continues lying]'' -downloading for the P-
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, I hear ya.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Audio still messed up]''
 '''Lars:''' Ain't Jackie ask you to do that a while ago and shit? Ain't Jackie ask you to not spend on that a while ago, ain't that what she said? That what she be tellin' me. Ain't y'all still be spendin' and shit though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, as a nigga that seen the worst of addictions, I gotta level wit' you, bro. Just ain't work that way, dog. Sheeeeeeit. Y'all go ahead, dog, y'all go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I mean, it just- it just had to be, uh... one that I would have- I would have to able- I just would have to be able to show it to her in person, you know. I treat- I treat her right. I would treat her right in person, and I would not be th- My money would be going all to- All towards her, and... Not on anything new that goes on the, uh, PS Triple.
 '''Lars:''' So you ain't been buyin' games for, like... How long, [[Jackie]] ask you that shit like... Months ago, and shit, right? You ain't been buying no games for all that time?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' I ain't been- I ain't buying no game for about a month. Buying no new games.
 '''Lars:''' "About a month"?
 '''Chris:''' Ain't gonna... Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' This... This be any games and shit, this be just that... That, what the fuck, Jackie- ''(Yells at Jackie)'' Yo bitch, what you call that? That... "PSN" shit? Fuckin'... what that stand for, "PS Nigga" and shit? Sheeeit. Gonna be a lawsuit up there at Sony, with this bitch. Y'all be spendin' money just on that? You don't be buying games at the... [[Wikipedia:Costco|Costco]] and shit? Buyin' them hard copies? ''(Pause)'' Don't lie to me, dog, don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''' A bunch- a bunch-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, you be my nigga an' shit? You be my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You be my nigga an' shit, don't be lyin' to me. Bros before hos, dog. We be tight, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' You be feelin', I be touchin'.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I ain't lyin'- I ain't lyin' to you. It's essentially, you know, the stuff I download from the PSN, there's no... uh, it- And the "N", by the way, it stands for "Network", "PlayStation Network".
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' But anyway, it's stuff that mostly- Stuff, mostly stuff that you just cannot f- You just cannot get on hard copy. There's no hard copy for mosta the stuff they got on there.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all still be buyin' shit. Y'all still be buyin' games on PSN.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, y- Yeah, but, yeah it's like, uh- It's like, uh, world wide web, it's like, Internet thing, it's like... Alright. You- You know of [[IPods Down and Listen Up|iTunes]], right?
 '''Lars:''' "Internet"? Like the white folks' street corner and shit, yo dog I feel you. iTunes and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes, it-
 '''Lars:''' Be more like "WhiteTunes", with all that white color.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes or [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody]] or Napster. Well, point is, you know, it's... It's uh, you know-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be spendin' money and shit on this [[PSN]].
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' But ain't Jackie not want you to be doin' that shit though?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I will- And I promise her that I would not do that, and I have not been... doing that. ''(Pause)'' For about a month now.
 '''Lars:''' Bitch be tellin' me she up on that PS Nigga, she be lookin' at y'all... Y'all [[Facebook]] on that nigga. Shit, I ain't know. I ain't know this Internet shit. Internet be like space, ain't no nigga gonna up on that Internet neither. Fuckin' Man keepin' us down. Anyway... sheeit. Bitch be tellin' me she all up on that PS Nigga and she check your... Your trophies, and your accolades, and shit. Nigga be gettin' all new trophies for new games and shit, all through the month.
 '''Chris:''' Actually those were new trophies for games I had already- I already owned.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be... Y'all be havin' game you ain't played for months, but you still buyin' shit? I feel that, I feel that, I was like that with my boats and shit, I be buyin' boats... I ain't even take 'em in the tub for... six months and shit. Nigga like his bubble bath with boats, no? Some times I have my favorite boats, sometimes I have my less favorite boats, sometimes I have my not favorite boats at all, nigga. I ain't even like them boats. So you and me, we be in the same boat and shit, y'feel me? ''Sheeeeeeeeeeit.'' Dawg, we be tight and shit. Y'all be up in my grill and shit. Y'all be... up in my 'fetti. ''(Awkward Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, let me ax you then.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Lars:''' So Jackie, she be all bitchin' at you, she be all like, "Chris, I know you ain't be buyin' no boats, and... PSN nigga boats, and... PS Nigga games", and... she ain't want you buyin' none a that shit. A'ight? But then you go... you still gonna be playin' this shit. Yo bitch be all like, ain't want you, ain't want you playin' wit' yo boats and shit, yo PS boats. Shit be all addictive and shit, ya feel?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah... You have to forgive me for... things there, you kinda talk a little fast, and I'm just tryin' to- Just wanna make sure I'm able to understand you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight. You take your time and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, we cool.
 '''Lars:''' Brovaries before ovaries, and shit. We cool. You take your time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You take your sweet time. [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah bu-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all thinka that? You need a clarification, and shit? A bifurcation? Y'all got, y'all be feelin' me, y'all be feelin my question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all...
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not really sure what the question is, though.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I be, I'll be rephrasin' with the past parsable and shit. So my bitch Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I ain't want you plain' none a them games, now." You be gettin' games up on that PS Nigga. You be playin' them games all day and night. Sheeeeit, addiction be all "spiral of doom" and shit. Ain't about just the money. It's about the ''tiiiime'', nigga. 'Bout the ''effort'', nigga. All that time an effort, go in to the volunteerin' and shit. Work at the hospital. Be a fuckin' hospice nurse and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Oh-
 '''Lars:''' I did that shit for nine months. Fuckin' made me a new man and shit. Watch a buncha old white people die?Sheeeeit. Ain't nothing feel better than that. All them old slave-owners and [[Wikipedia:Sharecropper|sharecroppers]] be droppin' like flies, and here Lars be. Lars McNulty. Sheeeit. That shit feel good, nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, by the way-
 '''Lars:''' Watchin' white people die.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you're asking me, you're- you're asking me, uh, why I be spending all my extra time playing video games instead of like, you know, goin' out, uh... to volunteer work or some- shi- or stuff like that.
 '''Lars:''' True dat, dog, true dat. You be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feeling ya. Uh, but mostly, but mostly, uh, on the one point, it's like, I would not know where to look. And plus, you know, goin' out for a job, after all the, uh, after them trolls been weighing me down since November [[2007]], smearin' my name in the... [''Audio cuts out while Chris continues whining'']

===Fuck Tha Police (48:15 - 57:30)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeeit. A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. But, y'all know, dog, y'all know them background check and shit, just be for criminal shit. Now I know all about the criminality. I be a black man, I had a record since I was 8. Sheeit. Try'd to rob Starbucks with a [[Megatron pistol|fake gun]]. Nigga, y'all ever rob Starbucks, you best bring a real gun, nigga. Go whole hog on that shit. Ridin' that pagan justice into town and shit. Fuck. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreshadowing You spend any time in the joint, nigga?]
 '''Chris:''' I ain't spent no time in no joint, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be lucky and shit, dog. No, no, y'all ain't be lucky and shit, y'all be white. That's what that shit is. A black man be like... turn 18, he go do two and a half in fuckin' C Block and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' Taste a lotta maple syrup in that time. Anyway dog, I be- What I be sayin' to you and shit, that background check, they ain't gonna see no... No white niggas on the Internet makin' fun a your... Your [[Pokémon]] fanfiction and shit. Y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeahhh, it- I feel you but-
 '''Lars:''' They ain't be holdin' that against you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but they have a lot more than just the, making fun of the, uh... Pokémon fanfiction. They got a lot more than that, I mean they claim- I mean they claim me... They- They mis- The trolls, they be throwin' around those bad labels on me, like... a [[Pedofork|pedophile]].
 '''Lars:''' Nigga y'all be- Y'all be missin' my point though. Nigga, you ain't spend no time up in the joint. Your background check should be golden shit. Y'all ain't got no problems and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but th- Yeah. But also, th- I do have po- [[Chris and the law|I do have a police record on file, uh, for... Couple- For...]]
 '''Lars:''' Oh, word?
 '''Chris:''' Couple of offenses... Yeah, I had a couple of [[police]] records on file-
 '''Lars:''' You be fightin' The Man and shit? Sheeeeeit, tell me all about it, dog, what you be doin'?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Lars:''' You be takin' down po-po? Fuckin' 5-0 and shit? What you got? I'll swap stories with you, and shit. You go first, though.
 '''Chris:''' It be essentially, uh, just... Havin' a bad time and disagreements and what-not. With th- With this, uh- With [[Michael Snyder|this... dude]], down over at The GAMe- Over at [[The GAMe PLACe|The GAMe and HOBBY PLACe]]. He just be havin' his own gripe against me, and lookin' for a way- Lookin' for an excuse to ban me from his store, and then, and then... Then he did, so he banned me from the store, he... But he never wanted me to come back, and then I come back like about a year later askin' him- askin' if I can come back and he don't let me come back and... So I leave and then I come back next year and then, uh... Same thing again except worse, he act- he actually gives me- actually puts um... Officially on police record! Don't want- He don't want me... Trespassing on th- He don't want me, y'know, um, being anywhere near that place.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' He just- He just be all, afraid of me and shit like that. And plus also, I have like, uh, I've had like, uh, past- Past accusations of quote-unquote "soliciting", when I was out in my early days of my [[Sweetheart Search]] lookin' for- Lookin' for a woman of my own, be usin' a [[sign]], like you know, I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the [[Sex|booty call]]! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang! They just misinterp- They just misunderstand me, and they handcuff me and everythang, they came- They handcuff me a couple a times, they drag me around, and [[Get-Tar Region|they even dogpile on me one time]], rub my head on the carpet, I be bleedin' out- I been bleedin' out left side of my forehead that day! Put me in the dang- Put me in the dang cop car and I get offended by the ambulaaaance, where they see that blood stain... Blood-soaked stain! Heaaaad wouuund, from that carpet burn on the left side of my forehead there!
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, nigga, a'ight, nigga. You get down wit' y'all bad self. Sheeeeit. Badass, you be stickin' it to 5-0 and shit! Tresspassin' and shit. I see, I feel ya, I smell ya, dog. Y'all be tresspassin', be shootin' it off to them white niggas. Shiiit. So y'all be tresspassin' on this here nigga's property to be stickin' it to that man and shit. That be what I feelin'? That be what you doin', dig?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeeeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so you-
 '''Chris:''' You be feelin' me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' So you all go tresspassin' and shit, you know you ain't welcome and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, "Fuck dat shit, I own that store! I'm a go stick that place up and shit! I'm a fuckin' bust a cap in his ass!" Y'all be like, "I ain't gives no fuck about right and wrong and shit!" Nigga in the city, dog. Niggas wonder why.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be poppin- Yeah I be poppin' a- I'd be poppin' a cap in that- In that old- In that old [[Michael Snyder]] ass, I tell you what. It's like, if and I had me, if I had me a real life gun but I don't have a real life gun, though like you know, all I got is my, uh... All I got is my [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mind]] wit, and uh, not mu- Not much else going on there. So it's like I don't really have much of an offense, as much as a defense, dog. And I, but-
 '''Lars:''' Lemme ax you-
 '''Chris:''' The only option there is just to split.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog-
 '''Chris:''' 'Til another thing, until I can actually go on the offense.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog. So you gonna take some nigga, and you gonna say like, "Bitch, this nigga be goin' down and shit." And you pick this, you pick this nigga, this nigga at this... This game store and shit. Why you pick this nigga to pick a fight with and shit?
 '''Chris:''' He- He- He picked-
 '''Lars:''' What about this nigga?
 '''Chris:''' He picked a fight with me first, he just had his own griefs, he just had his own griefs, his own gripes and scares against me. He be thinkin' I be like... He be thinkin' like y'know, I know... He be havin' his own weird accusations against me, probably thinkin' that I w- He probably... Damn troll niggers who... Who damn throw the label of pedophile on me and damn ol' buncha shit offa him. He be throwin' all them labels on me and just lookin' for a damn excuse to kick me out of that store and ban me forever and the he- And then... And then he did find a damn excuse and it damn happened and they called tresspassin' and everthiiing.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all, y'all be goin' on property when you know you ain't- It be someone elses property and shit, and you be like, "Fuck that, I ain't give a shit about right and wrong! I ain't give a shit about what someone else wants! I ain't give a shit about no other nigga's property, and personal reliability, and safe-ety.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which-
 '''Lars:''' And personal responsibility.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which that- That ain't really his store, he's just rentin' on- He's just rentin' on that location! They just been rentin' there for a long time! It ain't really his-
 '''Lars:''' So he be payin' his rent and shit. So it be his store and shit, then. You be all like, "Fuck dat shit, I ain't give a shit 'bout no other nigga's property. I'm a take what I want and fuck all y'all niggas." Shit, dog, I be feelin' that. That be my gangsta life, in my teenage years, back when I be eight and shit. I be all like goin' up in the stores, and be like "What, nigga? What, you gonna kick me out cuz I stealin' shit? Cuz I be yellin' at people? Cuz I be screamin' my head off? Sheeeit. Fuck that shit, nigga! I do what I want!" Be some [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] up in here and shit. I feel ya, dog. You ain't gives no fucks.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Fuck that shit! Ain't give no shit if that be his store and what-not.
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, so you say you have a weakness with the offense, but you be good with the defense and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So let me ax you, some nigga come up in yo house and shit, and be all like, "Dude I wanna come up in here and shit." And y'all be like, "Shit, nigga. This be my house and shit, y'all ain't comin' up in here without no invitation and shit." And he be like, "''Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit'', nigga! I do what I want, I'm a call up on y'all house!" What ya'll gonna do? Some nigga come up in yo business.
 '''Chris:''' I ain't got no gun, I'll beat his ass, I'm pretty str- I'm very strong. I'd give him an ol' ''CLOP! CLOP! HIYA!''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' If that be the case... But I'd make sure that I be cool, dog, y'know, I'd make sure I started that, like y'know, he'd throw the first punch, and if he throw the first punch and I- Then I de-fennnnd, and I throw- And then I throw- Then I would punch back in defense!
 '''Lars:''' Then y'all be throwin' a trespassin' notice and shit on him. Ain't that the truth, nigga. Ain't y'all be, y'all be saltin' the wounds and shit. Puttin' a criminality record upon this nigga. Ain't that what y'all gon' do, dog. Sheeeit. Now I ain't never filed no trespassin' notice on any nigga what started shit with me. See I be a black man and shit, so the police, if you ever call the police when you a black man? They come and shoot your ass. They ain't givin' no fucks. You be white and shit. You can use the system against the system and shit. Y'all see what I mean and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah. I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Say yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Whole buncha damn- Whole buncha the damn racism that they been got goin' on, but I ain't like that. I be respec- I have respect for my black man. And I have respect for you, man, 'cause we cool.

===One Big Gray Nigga (57:30 - 1:04:30) ===
'''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me, y'all my nigga and shit, dog. Sheeeeit. Nigga be Prime Time up in here, dog. Shit. Fuck. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and in fact I enjoy- I the, uh, comedies- I enjoy the TV shows I get from the... From the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and... [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and... [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them. All them-
 '''Lars:''' ''Sanford and Son''???! Bitch, I know you ain't bring up ''Sanford and Son'', fuckin' sharecropper shit. Goddamn [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sheeeit. Traitor to his race and shit, dog. All that spoon jockey [''?''] shit, [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]]... [[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|''Bamboozled'']] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' I-
 '''Lars:''' All I see is sleepin' (?), that's what all that shit be. Fuck that shit, stereotypin' a nigga in a bad light and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, man I-
 '''Lars:''' Us niggas, we already got our trouble with the bad light and shit, 'cause we be all dark and shit. Ain't no light what can shine a good light on our dark skin and shit. Then you got the TV shows. Then you got the [[Wikipedia:HBO|H-B-O]] and shit. Fuckin' shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well man, I don't mean, I- Yeah I don't mean to jump no jive, man, I just be givin' a few examples of some of the shows I see. But I watch- I watch other shows too, where they- where they make GOOD examples of the- Of the black man and the black woman.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years of opression.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, know what I'm doin'? I'm holdin' up my fist in solidarity. Yo, nigga, hold up you fist for me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You holdin' up yo fist, dog? Hope y'all ain't smilin' and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm holdin' up my fist, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be smilin' and shit, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Niggas, we can't be smilin'. That takes away... the gravitas of what we can do. See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be holdin'- I be holdin' up my f- I be holdin' up my fist in respect, dog. I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog. Yo, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hold it in respect.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' We cool.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, where all this shit come from? We be bulin' our- our ''velocity'' toward ''ferocity'' and toward ''audacity'' of hope and change and chope and shit. Fuckin' Big Bama's House up in here. A black nigga and a white nigga be mixin' and matchin', make ourselves one big gray nigga and shit. See what I doin', dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Fuckin' bridgin' the gaps of... Of ''inequality'', and ine- ''inequity'', and... ''ine-quali-equity'', and shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, this shit be all about Jackie and shit, though, dog. Jackie be all like, glarin' daggers at me and shit. I be like, "Bitch, only daggers I wanna see from you are those two daggers on yo' chest and shit, now take off your top while you be makin' me my steak dinner!" Bitch be all like, "Sheeeit, I burned myself last time I do that, nigga. Y'all want burn scars on this body?" I be like "Hell no, dog, you already got that [[Wikipedia:Caesarean section|C-section]] scar from where I aborted that baby!" Sheeeit, bitch all scarred up and used up already. So let's get back to Jackie and shit. Now, Jackie ain't be happy wit' y'all and shit. And Jackie ain't sure if she be happy wit' me and shit. So we gots to figure out, and numerate, and enunciate exactly why the ''posivericating'' is happenin' with this shit. Why the bitch be mad at you, and why the bitch be mad at me? We figure this out, dog, we figure this out, nigga. Brovaries before ovaries, dawg, you feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be all, like, you be lyin' to her and shit. And I feel that. I feel why she pissed about that shit. And as a advice, and... cautionary to you: Y'all ain't be lyin' to no bitch. Y'all can smack a bitch, y'all can punt a bitch, y'all be like "Bitch, I ain't doin' that shit" all up in her face and shit, but y'all ain't be lyin' to a bitch. 'Cause then the shit roll downhill. Shit be like a Hydra and shit, you cut one head off that bitch, two head grow back, you be lyin' to her. They catch you on that shit, they always do, nigga. Indeed! Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be mad cuz you be lyin' to her. And bitch be mad cuz you ain't gettin' rid a that addiction and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel ya, I tell you what, I- I'll make it right, I will make this right with Jackie, I tell you what, you tell her this from me too and I- and I'll promise it to you too, man, cuz we cool. I'll draw a parade for [[Alec]], and I'll make it like, you know, he was found innocent, like she wanted. I'll fix the pages and do it right for her.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that like, you know, within- within the next few days, and vid- and it'll be up, all colored and everything, be uploaded.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that for her.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog, shit, see now in the interest of camaraderie, and... niggaraderie, and all that shit. In the interest of all that shit, this gray nigga we be buildin', I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Also, in the interest of not bein' hypocrital, and hippocratical, I ain't takin' no [[Wikipedia:Hippocratic Oath|Hippiocratical Oath]] and shit. Because I be tellin' you not to be lyin' to no bitches, so I ain't can't be lyin' to you and shit. Y'all fell me, dog? I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel you. Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so, in the interest of honesty and total veracity, I must tell you that I am not a neutral party and shit. See, I burned my boats and shit 'cause I want Jackie back, dog. See? Bitch be all like, all up slobberin' on my dick and balls now, shit. Damn! See, I ain't be finna' gettin' ridda' my bitch, and shit. She be all like, ridin' my dick. She be all like, givin' me the oral play and shit. Fuckin' tongue action, finger play, y'all know that shit, sheeeeit. And the bitch be makin' me my steak dinner, 'cause I burned them boats. So, I ain't finna' be gettin' ridda' this bitch. I got a good bitch goin' here, y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all might wanna try winnin' Jackie back. I wish y'all best luck in the world. Cuz see, a'ight, honestly, veracitously, I gots to admit to you, I do think, yo, we are bros, but we still be competin', you dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' And I do feel like I have the advantage on you. Cuz my dick be all ''four inches'' a straight goodness and shit. Fuckin' straight as a ramrod and shit! That's what call me in high school when I be ramroddin' bitches, they call me "Ramrod". Better than "nigger". Better than "[[Wikipedia:Jim (Huckleberry Finn)|Nigger Jim]]," that's what that shit they be callin' me, I be like "My name ain't Jim! Call me "Nigga Lars" and shit!" "Nigga Lars"? That shit fine. "Nigga McNulty"? That shit be fine too, but they call me "Nigger Jim"! Who da fuck this "Nigga Jim" be? I ain't know... sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' That's- I tell ya, that's cool man, I praise you for being able to bang all them hos back in the high school days, I tell you what, I was [[naïve]] on the [[dating]] subject back in high school, I didn't even think about it, I mean I shoulda ask w- I shoulda asked a woman, I shoulda banged my own share of hos back in the day, but I didn't dawwwg, I just did not think of it! I was really slow, and I ev- and I even had a girl- I even had a girl crush back then. But then she done left me, she was out da- she was out dating with somebody else behind my back, I didn't even know about it. But she and I, we were tight!

===The Trail of Tears (1:04:30 - 107:50) ===
'''Lars:''' Shee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiit, dog! So what y'all gonna do to win Jackie heart back and shit? Y'all gonna burn that PS Triple and shit. See, see I'ma feelin' that, because that seem like, like the equalizer, and the numerizer and shit, that you all be pullin' to one-up my burnin' my boats and shit. See I be burnin' my addiction, y'all gots to burn your addiction too. Y'all ain't gots to do it literally. I know white people be afraid of fire and shit, I know white people fear fire. See us black folk, we like fire, 'cause we all be like livin' tribal in the Unga Bungas, in Africa and shit. We be usin' fire to keep tigers away and shit! Tigers, man, damn. Tigers be racists and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well I feel you, man. I'm part [[Cherokee]].
 '''Lars:''' So, y'all got- Oh, dog, y'all part Cherokee? Y'all be part a them-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Them red niggas and shit? Sheeeit, I feel that, dog, I ain't know that about you. Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Wikipedia:Trail of Tears|Trail of Tears]] is in my history.
 '''Lars:''' [''talking over Chris''] What [[Wikipedia:Native American gaming|casino]] you from?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, all them Red Niggas, they be up in them casinos and shit. Ain't that right, dog? What casino you from? From that casino tribe-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah sound like a-
 '''Lars:''' From the Blackjack tribe? Whitejack tribe? The... Poker tribe? The Hold 'Em tribe? You from them-
 '''Chris:''' That just-
 '''Lars:''' Ain't got no tribes, y'all feelin' what I'm gettin' at.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I fe- Yeah I feel you, man, that's a- That's just a dang old stereotype, I'm not like one- I am not a Casino Ownah. I ain't no rich man. I mean, I di- I mean-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be unemployed and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be no Casino Nigga and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I ain't no Casi- I- I ain't no Casino Nigga. I mean, we be-
 '''Lars:''' See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my background, we be of the real- We be of the real Cherokee. From the Trail of Tears and all that. That's from my history.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, this be a perfect example of the injustice and inservitude and ingratuity of American history and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Lars:''' See, the red niggas, they be all like, the casino niggas and shit. And then, you come along, and you ain't be... You ain't be havin' no job in no casino, you ain't be havin' no job and shit. You all just be, sittin' on your couch and shit, jobless. And that totally defies the stereotype of the common red nigga, see? So them sterotypes, they be bullshit, 'cause everyone knows your red niggas, they all be hard-workin' and [[Alcohol|sober]] and shit. Ain't no stereotypes say otherwise. I hear there is, I'll eat my hat I tell you what. Sheeeeit. Fuck. Anyway, dog, where we at- I be waxin philosophimorical again. Sheeit. We be talkin 'bout- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, dog, it comin' back to me. What y'all gonna be doin' to win Jackie, y'all gonna be ''metaphorically'' burnin' your PS Triple and shit. That be right, dog? Is that what y'all gonna do? I be wishin you luck, dog, I be wishin' you luck. I be wishin' you luck and shit, man. Y'know, I'll be ramroddin' Jackie every night and every day, but I respect you, like my nigga. You're my bro and shit. And I want you to get what you deserve and shit. You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all gonna be gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. [''long pause'']

===A Tale of Two PS Triples (1:07:50 - 1:17:45)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind be slow]] and I be uncertain of... everything here. And I definitely... I definitely feel ya and I'm not gonna say that I'm better than you, I'm not gonna say no- I'm not gonna say that. I mean you be- I mean you are- You be a big man, you burned all your boats, dog. I tell you what. But I mean- I spend my mo- I spend my money, I ain't gonna get that much back. I ain't gonna- I ain't gonna just kill it all by burning the dang PS3 because I already di- I pretty much essentially did that. By, uh... Like, [[The MovingFoward videos|pretty much dismantling the previous one I had]], [[ItIsFinished.MOV|and then just running it over]] with [[Son-Chu|my car]], there be videos on the [[YouTube]] about that.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, I saw that shit, you just- You destructicated your PS Triple, and then you get a new one back like a day later and shit. Why y'all go get a new PS Triple and shit, dog? Why destroy it in the first place?
 '''Chris:''' I tried to destroy it, dog, because... Them tr- Because, them trolls, and Jackie knew about it as well, they be offering NINE THOUSAND dollars for footage of the destruction of that PS Triple. And my- And Jackie thought like, you know, I give them th- I give them the footage and the real deal- I give them the real deal footage and what-not, they give- They, the trolls, they- THE troll, he be givin' me back the- He be givin' me that money, I be buyin' me a new PS Triple, she be cool with that, but then it don't happen, he- He fall back on his word, he don't do it, even though there were plans of meetings and what-not, it didn't happen, there was no money! I was-
 '''Lars:''' Where y'all get that money then? If there be no money, where y'all get that new PS Triple and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that be from my-
 '''Lars:''' I know all white folks be rich and shit, like at least moderately so and shit, but shiiit, you got that kinda cash around, you got that 'fetti? Where you get the money to buy that second PS Triple? That be like yo' Double PS Triple. Or yo' PS Double-Triple, if you will. Sheeeit. PS Triple-Double and shit. Where y'all get the money for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that be where I sold the, uh, past- The older game consoles that I've hoarded over the years.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all go and destroy yo' PS Triple... Then like a day later y'all go and sell like every other game you got... So you can buy back... A PS Triple? [''pause''] Shit ain't gangsta, dog, why you be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' It does a lot more than games, dog! Does movies, does music, does pictures! Does the Internet! I mean pretty much at this time, the only way that I'd be able to access my e-mail, and send and receive, from Jackie and everybody el- From everybody.
 '''Lars:''' Why ain't y'all buy a new computer?
 '''Chris:''' Because damn computer expensive. I mean if I had known that was gonna happen I-
 '''Lars:''' PS Triple be expensive, dog!
 '''Chris:''' If I had known that was gonna have happened... I mean it happened at months- It happened- Just happened a month before- A whole month before my computer decided to go and do what it did to me, and become practically unusable and considerably deaaaaad.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, ain't y'all computer be all broken and shit for a long time, though? Ain't you know you need a replacement and shit?
 '''Chris:''' No, because-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be tellin' me that she heard some... Some call where you talked to that Alec Benson Nigga guy. I don't know this guy. You talked to him, and he be askin' you why you ain't do somethin' with your computer. I ain't know what. Why you ain't interneting or somethin'. Us black folk, we ain't know this Internet. He ask you that, why you ain't doin' this, and you said your computer be busted and shit. You tell him the same thing you tell Jackie like a year later. Why you ain't replace the computer in all that time, though? Y'all know the computer be busted, but y'all go and buy a PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' Because the computer was working for me. It wasn't as busted as it was- As it had become a month later.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all didn't think ahead and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all knew the computer was on its last legs and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my- Yeah, my bad, I did not think ahead. I thought things'd be cool, but then it turned out they weren't. It... Damn whole buncha twist of fate and everything. Be all up my ass.
 '''Lars:''' Nigga, nigga, nigga, let me give you a metaphorical illusion, if I will, if I may, if you will.
 '''Chris:''' It's cool.
 '''Lars:''' Now, picture your computer like... Like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga and shit. A'ight, now your computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. You know what kinda life expectancy a twenty-nine-year-old have on the streets? Zero point zero-zero-zero-four percent, to the power of twelve, to the oneth power. That shit be low and shit. So your computer, in a metaphorical sense, be like a nigga who be facin' his be three-oh and shit. And that nigga gonna get capped and shit, dog! Sheeeeeit. Ain't gonna be no fake gun bringin' up in the Starbucks next time. Nigga gonna get capped. Streets be a lottery and shit, dog. So that computer, y'all know that computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. See, that computer be functionating and pre-vericating and shit. Just like that twenty-nine-year-old nigga be, in the prime of his life with them ripplin' muscles and shit. But a cap gonna come outta mid air, and shot yo' fuckin' computer in the back of the head when he in line at the [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeye's Chicken]]. And that be all she wrote, nigga. That be all she wrote. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman|Dr. Quinn]] gonna save this nigga up in here, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeit. So that computer be on its last life, and y'all, y'all know that even though it fuctionin' fine today, that computer get a cap in its ass tomorrow. God gonna fire a cap in that computer's ass. And y'all be knowin' that, but y'all ain't replacin' that, but then y'all PS Triple die, because you killed it. You be murderin' that PS Triple, you be murderin' it in cold blood, like, like it be a nigga what wronged you, what didn't pay you your drug money and shit. So you kill that PS Triple, and then you all go and buy a new PS Triple the next day. But you got your computer here, which need to be replaced, your computer which you use to talk to Jackie. But you can't talk to Jackie no more. You just play your games. Y'all be feelin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' So you see, dog, see Jackie be mad because y'all- Y'all be takin' playin' vidya games over talkin' to a real life woman. Sheeeit. I feel her pain and shit. I feel her commissary and commissaratin' and shit. Ain't no PS Triple what got no poontang, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeeeit. Damn! So why y'all... Why y'all pick a PS Triple, over my Jackie Triple? Why y'all be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well... ''(Pause for stress)'' Now look, okay dog, I can- Uh... I will still be able to talk to Jacke through the email with the PS Triple, anyway... With the- AIM, uh... Anyway, I- Anyway, I be gettin' a new computer soon enough, and I be back to- I'll be able to talk to Jackie through AIM if, y'know, she'd be willing to.
 '''Lars:''' But lemme ax you, dog. Now, your PS Triple be gone, and "soon enough" means, like, a day. But, your computer, you means of communication with Jackie and shit, that be gone, but "soon enough", that amount to like months and shit. That be like the whole trimester of a pregnancy what pass by and shit. Shit, I ain't even let this much time pass by before I evacuated that fetus in her belly. Sheeeeeeeit. That be a bigger decision than any PS Triple, I tell you what.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' Why y'all go and replace the PS Triple, even though Jackie don't want you to have that addiction?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' It's an addiction that I will be able to... get over easily enough... when I actually have the woman nearby me. Why-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be-
 '''Chris:''' If I- Yeah, you know, I be havin' me- I'll be havin' the woman next to me, and I'd be treatin' her right, I'd be investing more time into her... Right next to me, instead of bein' over the Internet, because I ain't got no power over the Internet, really, Internet just don't work, I- I'm scared to go on the Internet, really, because of the damn trolls, it's real life and- It's real life or bust for me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' But... But dog, okay, dog, I be feelin' that. Them Internets, they be a scary place and shit, especially for a nigga. Sheeeeit. Ain't no fourth dimension and shit up on that Internet what no nigga like myself gonna walk up into, you feelin' me? Sheeit. Shit like a minefield and shit. Damn, dog. But Jackie, see, Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I know you know I want you gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. Shit be like a black hole of addiction and shit, suckin' up your life." And see, what I don't get is why y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple, because that shit is no good for you. And you gettin' rid a that shit, even if Jackie ain't exist and shit, even if Jackie ain't up on my dick and shit, then you get rid of that PS Triple... You a born-again man. You a new man for gettin' rid a that shit. See, I burned my boats and shit before I even called Jackie, because I knew even if Jackie be all rejectin' me and shit, I'd be a new man for gettin' ridda my addiction. I be a strong man and shit. Show me your strength, nigga. Y'all be feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' Word, dawg. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

===Downtism (1:17:45 - 1:23:05)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Uhh, alright listen, we be havin' a cool conversation, it's been good, um... Let me, uh, talk- Let me talk to Jackie for a little while.
 '''Lars:''' Let's see if that bitch be around. ''(Pretends to walk around)'' Yo bitch! Bitch, where you be at?! Now hold on, dog. Sheeeeit, where that bitch at? Hold on... Checkin' the kitchen and shit. Fuck, meatloaf only half-done and shit. Bitch can't even make a meatloaf and shit and steak and shit at the same time? Damn. Used up bitch, poontang and shit. What the- oh, the fuck that smell be? Aw, fuck- Bitch, I told you not to go to that [[Taco Bell]] and shit no more! Shit ain't gangsta! Sheeeit. ''(Back to Chris)'' Bitch be all like, makin' number two and shit right now, she ain't comin' out for a whiiile, let me tell ya that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-ohhhh.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' That be- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' See now dog, y'all got to feel my pain and shit. See y'all just be hearin' about it, I gots to smell it and shit. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya- I get it, I- I can- I hear you, be all-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all know how strong the sense of smell on a nigga is? Y'all be a white nigga and shit, I be a black nigga. See us wide nostrils, we smell like three times what you smell and shit. See, my nostrils, that be like my PS Triple because it's triple the smell power of your... Your thin, white nostrils. Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I hear you, dog, I know what- I know what crap smells like and how it comes out. ''(Clears throat)'' Excuse me.
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't gonna get rid a that PS Triple for Jackie and shit? That be, that be my... confuzzlation and shit. ''(Pause)'' See, dog, y'all be like... Lemme put it how I see it, and then I'll wait for yo' responsification. See, all I see, is y'all be saying that y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple 'til Jackie be by your side and shit. See y'all be wantin' Jackie to be like, watchin' you, and to be like, houndin' you, and to ''substitutionalize'' for that PS Triple and shit. But y'all ain't wanna be gettin' rid a that shit just for yo' own damn self. ''(Pause)'' You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog. Righteous. Righteous and shit. See Jackie, Jackie be feelin' all hurt and shit 'cause y'all ain't wanna improve yourself. Y'all know how fleetin' life is and shit, nigga? Life be fleetin' and shit, even for a white nigga. White nigga can expect to live past 30. Black man can't, but a white man can.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah. ''(Pause)''
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't improvin' yourself, dog? ''(Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' To be honest, I- I really- To be honest... I just don't know. ''(Pause)'' It's pretty much, you know, I had my- My mind is so slow, and... It be- I just be fear of change, and... It just hard- It's just hard for- It's just really hard for me and my... Mental- And my mental capacity to... To go through a whole bunch of change so quickly.
 '''Lars:''' Ah, I see, cuz a that [[Autism|Downtism]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' No it-
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' The- It- Not Down syndrome, ''autism''.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, the Downtism. That be what I- Yeah. Shit. Anyway, dog, so what y'all sayin' is, ya got ya vidya games, and Jackie, she be like a woman, with the poontang and shit, and a meatloaf and steak dinner, and y'all be afraid of that. Y'all stick wit' your video games, cuz that all ain't makes you afraid like a woman do.
 '''Chris:''' What- NO. I'm not- I am not afraid of a- I am not afraid of a woman.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, y'all ain't wanna give up PS Triple for a woman though. ''(Awkward pause)''
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris grunts. It's safe to speculate that he has shit himself by this point.)''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)'', lemme think. ''(Chris thinks for like 30 seconds)''
 '''Lars:''' Nigga you gruntin' or some shit. Shit, dog, y'all be at Taco Bell and shit too, like my Jackie?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Umm... No, I- I did not go to Taco Bell today.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, what you eat, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I had- I had me a- I had me a [[McDonald's|fish fillet]] tonight.
 '''Lars:''' Shit... ain't no nigga be eatin' no fish. Y'all know us niggas be afraid of water and shit. Why y'all be gruntin', dog? Shit not be settlin' in your stomach and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. ''(Long pause)'' I'unno.

===Remember Kenan & Kel? That was a fun show. (1:23:05 - 1:28:08)===
'''Lars:''' So dog, a'ight, a'ight, let's get back, let's get back. Why y'all... Y'all say you ain't afraid of no woman, and y'all want a woman, but... But yo' actions, and even what you just say to me now, show that you want a vidya game more than a woman. I GUESS I feel that shit, y'know what- I lost my virginity at the age of ten and a half. And ever since then I be all up in the poon tang. I be like a poon hound and shit. See I ain't play no vidya games since like, Atari, and shit. Shit be old school.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Back then everything black and white, not just race politics, see? Y'feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So you know, dog, my first time be scary and shit, I only make that bitch cum like two and a half times. See I be all performance anxiety and shit, but I got through it. Y'all gots to be a MAN and shit. Man up. Y'all gots- Y'all be a man? Or y'all be a boy. What y'all be? ''(Pause while Chris decides)''
 '''Chris:''' I be a man.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, see what I'm feelin', and rightfully, righteously, ''rightatiously'' I should not be tellin' you this, because this hurts my chances and shit. But I will tell you in the interest of bros before hos, that if you got rid of that PS Triple, you got rid of it and you never buy another one, Jackie'd probably kick my black ass out the door and shit. You get rid a that PS Triple, I be out on the street, and Jackie be on your doorstep first thing tomorrow morning and shit. That's all the bitch talk about when she talk about you, is the PS Triple. "PS Triple this, PS Triple that." Well sometimes she talked about the lies and shit too, but mostly the PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah... I hear ya, it's- It's a lot. Alright, well- Listen, it's a bit late, and uh... I wanna be gettin' me a good night's- I wanna be gettin' me a good night's sleep. Cuz, you know, gonna be another day tomorrow.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight, I feel you. Yo, yo, dog, yo dog. You know what I'm doin' right now? Now what I'm doin'?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Lars:''' Holdin' up my fist, dog. Solidarity! Peace, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit. So y'all got your vidya games, Jackie- She be all up in that toilet, like another hour or two, shit... I'll tell her to wipe her ass and them come jump on my dick and shit. I'll be like all up in that poontang. Yo, I'll write you an email and shit, tell you all about that poon tang. And you write me an email tellin' me about y'all video games, that way we can exchange and learn from each other's culture, see 'cause I- I be like with a woman and shit, and I can tell you what that be like. And you be playin' vidya games, which I ain't familiar with, and then tell me what it be like to just be playin' video games in your room all day.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause, not getting it)'' Hm.
 '''Lars:''' See, we each have our different priorities. See, you want your video games and I want Jackie. I wanna be with Jackie. See dog- Dawg, dawg, dawg, now... I'll let you go soon, I'll let you go soon, cuz I know you tired and shit. I know white people like to go to bed before midnight. But let me ax you something, one more question real quick. I be your nigga and shit, you be my nigga. Y'all be honest and straightforward with me. Now-
 '''Chris:''' I be honest and straightforward.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, now y'all be sayin' to Jackie that you want Jackie and shit. Y'all be sayin' to everyone out there that you want Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' More than anything. But the situation-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want Jackie more than anything.
 '''Lars:''' The situation be like, you ain't givin' up no vidya games for her. Y'all just want your vidya game. So you can tell me, bro. Tell me, my nigga... Y'all really want Jackie or not? Or do y'all want your vidya games more than you actually want Jackie, if you want Jackie? You can be honest with me now-
 '''Chris:''' I want Jackie- I want Jackie and I want to be able to keep my video games.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeit, dog, that ain't always an option. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Or as we say in nigga culture, "Can't have your [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] and drink it too." Cuz see, black people don't eat cake. It's that devil food, it-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I like- I like [[Wikipedia:Orange soft drink|orange soda]].
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, orange soda. That be what white people drink.
 '''Chris:''' You remember [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']]? That was a funny sh- That was a fun show.
 '''Lars:''' Who the fuck Kenan & Kel? That the nigga that owe me money? You tell that fuckin' nigga to give me my fifteen dolla'! You see that nigga? Sheeeit, fake nigga if ever there was one. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' No, I- I'm talking about the show that was on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]].
 '''Lars:''' Nickel-lo... What the fuck do that be? That be one of them [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (movie theater)|nickel and dime theaters]] from the [[1920s]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Flapper|flappers]] and shit, [[Homos|women with short hair]]? Sheeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yea- Alright, well I'll let you- Alright, well I'll let you go, it's been- It's been cool hangin' with ya. You my nigga- ''(Lars talks over Chris)''
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I'll talk to you soon. I'll talk to you soon, I'ma go fuck Jackie now. I'll talk to you soon, dog, we'll be in touch and shit. Nice meetin' you and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah, alright.
 '''Lars:''' Goodnight, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFNyMfrTc_M&feature=related Listen On Youtube]
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBYi1CQTNfY210U1k Google Drive mirror]
* [http://goo.gl/DbVDg Non-mediafire mirror]
* [http://db.tt/55pQvBce Dropbox mirror]

{{references}}

{{succession
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|prevlink = [[Jackie Chat 9]]
|nextlink = Final
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{{FanChats}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

Jackie E-mails 16

2025-12-12T15:31:41Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This page covers e-mails exchanged between Chris and [[Jackie]] from 23 September to 3 [[October 2010]]. The confrontation between Chris and [[Lars]] heats up, and Chris uploads a video to combat him. Chris mentions that he used to hate minorities, but has gotten over it. Jackie demands more content. She points out that Chris acts more like a Satanist or a shaman than a Christian. Chris writes a romantic poem for her.

{{Email|September 23, 2010 - 8:39pm

Hey Chris.

So it's all well and good that you agree with me about the addiction issue, but my point was that the [[money]] you spent is still hundreds of dollars that you could have spent on other things, like [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]]. My point was never that you found games on sale, it's that games are the only thing you want to spend money on in the first place. You mentioned [[Son-Chu|your car]] is having trouble, are you going to have the money to fix it?

Anyway, I had a really shitty day. More shit about [[Lars]] as well as some housing problems I've just found out I have to deal with. I don't really feel like talking tonight. But thank you for writing so much for me tonight, you've given me a lot to read. We'll reschedule our next chat soon, sweetie. Talk to you soon.

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 24, 2010 - 9:54pm

Hey sweetie! Just wanted to let you know I had a really good time talking to you tonight!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 25, 2010 - 11:33am

I'm glad you enjoyed [[Jackie Chat 2|our talk]]; I enjoyed it too. <3 :)

A quick question, what was it again that Lars said that you wanted me to say in [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|the Ship-Sinking video]] again? "The consequences will always be changing"? Please tell me again.

I'll have the ship and iceberg built, followed by the video's recording done this afternoon; I'll have the video uploaded about tonight. :)

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet, 
Lots of Love, 
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 25, 2010 - 3:26pm

Hey sweetie! The phrase Lars said was "The consequences will never be the same". Make sure to put emphasis on it, make yourself sound real imposing when you say it. He'll get the message.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 25, 2010 - 5:22pm

I got it, [[Sweetheart]]. I'm uploading the video now; look for it on my [[YouTube|YT]] Channel; relay the link to Lars if required. Also, just curious, it was only the ONE photo you gave to Lars; there are no other similar photos, right? I ask to make certain of your safety, and any potential bargaining tickets Lars may or may not have. But push comes to shove, and if he wants to fight me, I will defend your honor to the last bead of sweat or breath.

BTW, ignore the incoming [[mother]] who wandered in at the end of the video. She and I have been busy clearing out and blocking out a bunch of [[Wikipedia:Brown marmorated stink bug|stink bugs]] (she thought they were [[Wikipedia:Bedbug|bed bugs]] at first, but she was corrected later). They were all over my window; I was surprised I did not notice their shadows behind the blinds before today. Anyway, most of them were disposed of either by withdraw from the house hitchhiking on the shades, curtains and blinds that went outside to be cleaned later, or by suction into a vacuum cleaner.

I hope the video puts a scare into Lars; I also portray stomping HIM along with his sunken ship, and I hope you enjoy the energy I was able to put into it post-bug-busting.

I'll TTYL. Let me know when we can schedule another AIM. 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.

P.S.
Something else I'd like to let you know about. I have noticed and appreciated your kisses and hearts after I told you that I Love You, but I feel like only half of my affection is being returned through the emoticons over a full-on "I Love You (Too)". I would feel better if you would tell me directly that you love me too after or before I tell you.

I am only letting you know about how I feel about the emoticons; I do not mean to put any pressure onto you.

I Love You, Jackie. :-*}}

{{Quoteboxgreen|September 26, 2010 - 10:07pm

From: Lars Mcnulty 
To: chrischansonichu 
Sent: Sat, Sep 25, 2010 8:35 pm 
Subject: My boat is sailin

Hey Fatso, you the fat loser my Jackie wound up with? Whoa, I must a done a number on her, if she be so traumatized she would sink as low as you. You know what aint sinkin? My resolve, nigga. Don't you EVER be showin my boats sinkin, You just lucky that wasnt one a my boats. If that'd been one a my boats, I'd a WHOMPED yo pasty fat ass, you wonky dweeb nigga. Jackie's gonna be mine again, you just wait and see. This shit aint over between us. Just look at my pic i gave you, you see I mean business. See how fierce i be. The consequences aint NEVER gonna be the same, nigga.

Smooth sailin',

Lars McNulty}}

{{Email|September 27, 2010 - 5:30[m

Hey Chris! Not much time to talk but I'll write a little.

Actually Chris, that's really Lars in that photo. I don't have the article nearly done yet, I haven't had much time to finalize it. It's not due for a few weeks, anyway. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing the next video.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 27, 2010 - 7:02pm

Oh. Seriously, Lars is [[Chris and Race#Black people|a black dude]]? Huh... Shoot; I've just bad-mouthed him on hiding behind a photo of a black man in [[New Address|the video]] I've just uploaded of telling him off. Still, the energy was appropriate. :)

Anyway I am cool with you having gone out with a black man; I've seen a lot of those couples on television. I'll admit, long ago I did have a problem with it, but I've long gotten over that. People ARE People; we're the same on the inside (with the exceptions of personality characteristics which varies from person to person). BTW, did I mention that I am 1/16 [[Cherokee]]? I think I did, but I'm not sure.

I look forward to reading the article after it's published. I gave you a lot of good stuff for it. And this way, we're helping each other out; you get a great article for the newsletter, and it gives me a chance to improve my rep.

Which reminds me, I am thinking of starting an anti-[[Troll]]/Cyber-Bully rally, as I have done in [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|yesterday's video]]. Also, I am still undrawn on the pilot comic for the [[TrollBusters]]. I'm still thinking of the story plot, and I am open for your input as well. So far, I have Cal and Dee^2 hanging out in their headquarters in [[Cwcville]], talking about common Troll Icons and "Anon" Associations of theirs. Other discussion topics of advisement is open for suggestion. They get an e-mail from a victim; Dee^2 traces its origins, googles the victim's name, finds the various forums and such. She and Cal traces the origin points of the inputed text on the Forums and such through IP Addresses. Finds the point of the Head Troll of the group, hops into their Truck (depending on the Location of the Troll, in [[US]] or out, having to take the Private Plane or not; I'm still deciding on the starting location). After they reach the destination, from their truck, they scan all of the computers in the house of the troll wirelessly; they find the bookmarks leading to the same Forums, history of entered text onto said forums, and [[IRC]] Chat history matching up. They save all of the evidence onto their HDD, then remotely shuts off the internet for this dude alone. Meanwhile, the perp is inside making another post, and gets interrupted of Loss of Connection, then Cal and Dee^2 force their way in with backup from [[Jerkops|the Police]] and the [[Wikipedia:Federal Bureau of Investigation|F.B.I.]] and catch the Troll Red-Handed and take him into custody.

I would appreciate your input on the pilot story; any ideas.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
Lots of Love, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Quoteboxgreen|September 27, 2010 - 9:00pm

-----Original Message----- 
From: Lars Mcnulty 
To: chrischansonichu 
Sent: Sat, Sep 27, 2010 8:27 pm 
Subject: I aint steppin

Shiiiiiit, dog! Yall be all up in my grill, tellin me to grow up an shit? Damn nigga, I been done grown up and shit! I aint need no wonky honky givin me game on my boats! My boats aint control me! Jackie just be steppin an shit, but bitch be all up on my dick slobberin an shit once i flash my cash, nigga! Yall just wait and see, I aint need to change my habits, I am in control an shit, mos def! And soon I be in control a Jackie again, yall be seein.

Lars McNulty}}

{{Email|September 28, 2010 - 7:56pm

Chris, where have you been? I haven't heard from you all day. I was hoping to talk to you tonight, but I guess you're too busy or something.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 29, 2010 - 7:21am

I am soo sorry for missing you yesterday; I was preoccupied with other things and I forgot to check my e-mail Monday Night. And last night, I crashed early at 8:00 PM. My [[biological clock|internal clock]] has been askew again lately mostly. Basically on Monday, I fell asleep at 8 AM after an all-nighter and awoke at about 5 PM. I made [[New Address|the direct-to-Lars video]] and uploaded it right before I read your e-mail letting me know that Lars WAS black and I replied to that. Then I logged off, and did all of the other things I did that night all the way up to 8:00 PM last night.

And obviously I didn't get your request for the [[Wikipedia:AOL Instant Messenger|AIM]] for Monday Night until later. And yesterday I was busy going out and hanging with my parents and stuff. And having crashed early, I forgot to check my e-mail yesterday. I guess a point I'm trying to make is I would feel better and more ready to talk over AIM if I had at least a 12 or 24 hour notice beforehand, so I could plan on that. Because the e-mail you sent Monday night was an immediate impulse, and I had already checked my e-mail and logged out. Yeah, that got messed up. :(

If you are available Tonight, I'll log in at about 8:45 PM to see if you are logged-in, or read your reply e-mail at least. And, at least a 12 hour or greater notice for when you'll be available for AIM; let's keep that in mind for future reference. Again, I am soo sorry for missing the opportunity.

At this time, we'll see how long my internal clock will stay on a daytime schedule. From my point of view, it appears to me that when my internal clock has been staying on the daytime schedule, one all-nighter is all it takes for it to go askew all over again.

I will talk to you later, Sweetheart. Please keep your ideas and thoughts in mind for me. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love, 
XOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 29, 2010 - 1:19pm

Hey Chris!

Why did you stay up til 8am? You shouldn't stay up to play video games like that all night, it's not good for your health. You really ought to make the choice to set a regular bedtime for yourself and stick to it. For example, I usually go to bed at midnight every night (or sometimes earlier), even if I'm not particularly tired, because I don't want to screw myself up for the next day. You can't just stay up for as long as possible until you "crash", that's what small children do. Your choices are why your sleep schedule is messed up, it's not because you can't control your own body. And plus, then your random sleeping habits inconvenience others, like myself. You need to make the choice to discipline yourself and stick to a regular schedule. It's what the rest of us have to do.

Anyway, I'll be on about 8:45pm tonight, so I look forward to [[Jackie Chat 3|chatting with you then]]. We can talk more about your trollbusters plot ideas and other stuff. Like the [[:Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest|October videos]]!! Only a couple days until the first one airs!!! I can't wait to see what the first one will be!! Anyway, talk to you tonight, sweetie!

XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 30, 2010 - 11:32am

Here's the updated resume for your reference; please treat this file and its contents as strictly confidential. I have my green shirt, clean as I am after a refreshing shower right now. :)

I will record [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|the new direct-to-Lars video]] for you after the interview, and I will let you know about what happens tonight during our AIM. A prayer for me is helpful and appreciated. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 1, 2010 - 2:03pm

Hey Chris, I hope you get this soon. Will you be available for another IM tonight? Let me know!

<3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 1, 2010 - 4:31pm

Hey, Sweetheart. :)

Firstly, I've had a long day, and I'm feeling tired, so I'm probably going to be unavailable for a chat tonight. I am sorry.

On the good news, though, I've mustered the energy to make [[100 2261.MOV|the direct apology to Michael video]]; it should be uploaded by now.

And, this morning, while I was having breakfast, I came up with an inspired [[Chris and writing#Chris as a poet and lyricist|poem]] for you.

Jacklyn, your smile is a ray of sunshine to me. 
Seeing your beautiful and radiant face, 
I can't help but want to kiss it and your sweet lips. 
Your wavy hair drives me wild; 
I want to run my fingers through it gently 
and feel the energy that burns wildly and sweetly. 
Your wit and smarts guide me great, 
helping me sort out better the dilemmas I've been pondering. 
The distance between us is hard to bear. 
I throw away the [[Wikipedia:Sudoku|sudoku]] puzzle of the newspaper 
I was working on when I thought up this poem, 
so I would rush fastest to you. 
Sweetest Jacklyn, you are the missing piece 
I've been longing for to complete me. 
While I am capable of being independent, 
I just feel soo much better with you by my side. 
Sweetest Jacklyn Romy, I Love You Soo Much. 
Let us rid each other of the distance that 
keeps us apart, so we can be together forever. 

You keep that to yourself; print this message so you can read it every day to lift you up as much as you have lifted me. :)

I need to rest, but I'll TTYL. Perhaps we can AIM again tomorrow night.

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 1, 2010 - 5:24pm

Hey Chris!

What were you doing all day? Did you stay up playing video games all night again? I told you, it's your responsibility to set a bed time for yourself. Remember, if you get the [[job]] at [[McDonalds]], you're going to be working for hours every day, and you won't have a choice in the matter - not like now, where you just get tired because you choose not to go to bed at a reasonable time. And also remember Chris, the terms of our agreement were that you would make one video every day for the month of October. A video like this one is only a couple minutes long, and all you did was stand up and talk into the camera a bit and then upload it, so I don't get why you have to "muster" the strength to do it even though you're tired. It doesn't bode well for our contest if such a trivial effort is so difficult for you. I suggest you stop staying up to play games all night and choose to go to bed like adults do, because it's kind of annoying that you cause your own sleep problems and then seem to want special commendation for doing something that takes no effort in the first place. Remember, our contest is all or nothing. You have to do all the videos if you want me.

<nowiki>*</nowiki>SIGH*

Anyway, thanks for the video. You probably should have just said "hey [[Michael Snyder|Mike]], I realize the [[Game Place]] is your business and you are in charge, and I don't have a right to disrespect you and do things you don't like no matter how much I disagree with you". But instead you went on about how you should have the right to scream at children whenever you feel stressed, which probably won't endear you to Mike very well. But enough about that, let's talk about the next video!!

Here's what I'm thinking for tomorrow: Hamburglar video. I really liked in your resume where you detailed your life long relationship with McDonalds. I want you to do a tribute video to McDonalds. I want you to get some dollar menu burgers, [[100 2265|dress up as the hamburglar]] (maybe go shirtless with stripes across your chest and arms? You could paint, or just put duct tape across your chest… :) sexy!) and dance/recite poetry to your burgers. Then, I want you to sit down and eat them, after thanking McDonalds for your wonderful gift of food. But before you begin eating, can you turn to the camera and say "Heyyyy folks!… FAT MAN HERE" then wink because we both know you're not actually fat. It's satire! But I know what you're thinking, you don't actually want any trolls to get the idea that you applied at McDonalds. You don't want any going to harrass ''[sic]'' you there. So don't say anything about that - just talk about how you love McDonalds. Ooh! And write a poem about a burger and read it to the burger! You did soo well with the poem you wrote me, I think you could make something great about a burger.

Guys eating burgers turn me on. :D :D :D :D :D

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 2, 2010 - 9:33pm

Hey Sweetie!

I really enjoyed [[Jackie Chat 5|our chat]] tonight. I'm glad we can talk like that. I'm not sure if I'll be available tomorrow night or not, but if I'm not then maybe Monday. Anyway, I know sometimes our subjects get a little intense, but thanks for opening up to me on stuff like that. I don't want you to ever think that I'm grilling you or anything like that, whenever we talk about those things I'm just trying to understand you better and bring us closer. It's all about building a stronger relationship! :) :) :)

Anyway, in continuance of our discussion, I have a few more questions:

-What sort of things were you talking to [[Sonichu]] about when you were in your meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]? 
-Do you still imagine talking to Sonichu sometimes? what sort of things do you talk to him about? 
-What are some memorable conversations you've had with Sonichu? 
-You said that when you were in the office with Mary Lee Walsh, Sonichu "talked through" you. What exactly did you mean by that?

I'm really curious about that. I think if I knew more it would be a great window into my understanding you and us being closer. I await your reply!!

With Love,

Jackie

October 3, 2010 - 11:57am

Hey again! I had one more question that I forgot to put in my last email: Why did you shout "[[curse ye ha me ha]]" at Mary Lee Walsh? I saw there's an article about that phrase on the [[cwcki]], but I don't really understand what it means. What is the significance of it? What does it mean?

Hope to talk to you soon!

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 3, 2010 - 1:30pm

I understand you never mean to grill me. I emotionally get carried away sometimes when my buttons get pressed with certain topics that hit it home. And when I get carried away, I may not think clearly. But I am happy we are opening up to each other, and I really do want our relationship to be strong too, Sweetheart. :)

I can answer your current questions now.

-At that time in her office, Sonichu and I were coming up with an immediate plan of counter-attack to the things she was saying; I do not remember what she said. 
-I do still sometimes talk with my electric-hedgehog pok'emon while I'm on my way to falling asleep and the tv is off; we talk about current things, like things I could do or say in meeting new people, or just things I'm feeling currently to get their response to, for examples. 
-I can't remember verbatim, but memorably, getting relationship advice from Sonichu And [[Rosechu]] are most memorable. 
-Sonichu had a speech of his own to stop our mutual villain from attacking us with the things she was saying and her past actions against me and the early days of my [[Sweetheart Search]]. 
-The Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack is essentially an invisible energy attack, launched similar to [[Wikipedia:Son Goku (Dragon Ball)|Goku]]'s attack; it is an attack that curses [[Excel Saga|Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune]] onto the individual the attack is aimed at. Among the misfortunes in mind for the attack, if the individual has a girlfriend of HIS own, she breaks up with him. This was fabricated in my lonely days then, where I was also jealous of "All of the other [[JERKS|Men Taking ALL of the Women]], Leaving me with None to choose from."

I will think about how best to make myself up as the [[100 2265|Hamburglar]] in a little while; I'll probably use a printed photo of a hamburger from McDonalds, and upon my recollection, he mostly said, "Robble, Robble", so I'll mostly say that in the dedication to the hamburger there.

Also, I'm afraid I have another disturbing development in the nude photograph department; I've just received a couple more e-mails from a couple of trolls, one of which pretended to be an ex-lesbian girlfriend of yours; she had a bunch of your nude photos attached to it. While I am going to ignore them both, I felt you should know about it. I'll be forwarding the two e-mails to you shortly for your reference.

Hey, don't fret too much over the matter; you and I, we have done what we could against that damn Lars for him leaking the photographs and confirming to him that he is through, and you have me; no bullshit. You know better now not to share such photos with anyone over the internet, even as a gag.

And regardless of anything said, portrayed or whatever, I will still Love You truly, Jacklyn. :-* :)

We'll see about Monday night when it comes around.

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 3, 2010 - 2:03pm

Hey Chris!

Thanks for answering my questions. That clears up quite a bit. We can talk more about that stuff in our next chat, too. Thanks for explaining the curse ye ha me ha thing - I had no idea you were a Wiccan! Wow, this is a whole new side of you that I had no idea about. I've known Wiccans before at school and what not, but I never really knew them that well or talked to them about their beliefs. What sort of divinity do you follow, do you believe in a Godess or Earth-Mother figure? I know that's the primary deity in a lot of pagan faiths, isn't it? And what other sorts of magic or sorcery do you practice? The curse ye ha me ha sounds like a sort of black magic, akin to Satanism. I don't know much about Satanism either, but I know that the best definition is that Satanism is basically a religion that emphasizes hedonism, free will, priority towards earthly/carnal pleasures, and abandonment of restrictive rules in general. I never really thought about it before, but when I consider that you are very devoted to eating whatever you want, not working out, playing games all the time and generally not following any of [[God]]'s rules, it actually makes sense that you are a Satanist. How come you didn't tell me? Were you worried I would take it badly? I don't, I think it's really cool that you're a Satanist! What other kinds of pagan magic do you practice? Is all of it black magic, or do you practice any white magic or naturalistic sorcery as well? This is really cool, Chris! It's a side of your beliefs I had no idea about!

On a darker note... Thank you for trying to console me about Lars and those damn nude photos. Thank you so much for being the bigger man and rising above, and not judging me for those photos being out there. But I still feel so bad about all this. I feel terrible that those photos are floating around out there, for anyone to see. And now you've got random trolls sending them to you and making shit up about me, as well. I hate Lars so much. I hate him with every fiber of my being for doing this to me. Your videos to him so far have been great but clearly Lars needs a heavier hand. We're going to have to think of a way to get him out of our hair once and for all. Are you with me sweetie? :)

Anyway, I am looking forward to the Hamburglar video! Also, I had another idea for one of your next videos. Do you know [[Wikipedia:The Beatles|the Beatles]]? It'd be really fun to see you sing to one of their songs, like [[100 2269|a Day in the Life]] - that's my favorite Beatles song. Or maybe "[[Wikipedia:With a Little Help from My Friends|With a Little Help from my Friends]]", that's my second-favorite Beatles song. That'd be awesome! Maybe you could even write some lyrics of your own and sing them to the song! What do you think about the Beatles? Do you like them?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 16]]

Carlos Chantor

2025-12-12T15:31:13Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''' (DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6|Jackie E-mails #6]]}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"[[List of Chris's lies|Experienced for Her Pleasure.]]"]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]].

Chris came up with the alias after his first breakup with his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[homos|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on his Escorts.com profile, Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homos|homosexual]]). After a certain prank call inquired about [[Piss|watersports]], however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers, but rather, he sees it as a way to lose his virginity, as well as to get a quick buck.

No one took up Chris on his offer, and he abandoned his escort plans by summer.

It should be noted that during this stint, Chris's physical appearance was about as good as it could ever be. His hair appeared to temporarily stop thinning and wasting, his skin wasn't greasy and covered in dirt, and he even looked a bit thinner thanks to the slimming power of the color black. However, once the stint ended, old habits quickly returned.

== Escorts.com Profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin with rage|Experienced]] for [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Her Pleasure]].

Hey, Ladies. [[Chris and reality|I am a cool dude to hang with]], and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex:''' Male
* '''Date of Birth:''' 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation:''' [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height:''' 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color:''' [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking:''' [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking:''' [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use:''' Never use them
* '''Language Spoken:''' [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language:''' [[Spanish]]

===My Location===
* '''Home:''' [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
* '''Available as a(n):''' [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], Master/Slave, Model, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], Escort
* '''Available For:''' Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management:''' Independent

==Carlos Chantor Call==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|n-R-notFGdY}}</center>

Sometime after launching his profile, Chris received a prank call from a [[troll]], posing as a potential partner with a voice similar to [[Family Guy|Herbert the Pervert]], and asking him about watersports (as Chris's profile claimed he was comfortable with almost any kind of fetish). Chris was ''very'' uneasy with [[Homos|who he thought he was attracting]], initially hanging up before awkwardly telling the troll to call him back later.

Not long after the call, he amended his profile to remove watersports, before wiping the fetish list altogether.

===Transcript===
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Is this, uh, Mr. Carlos Chantor? I thought I heard something about you with the, you had an ''escort service'' going on.
 ''' Chris:''' Um... I'm sor- uh, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Oh really? This isn't... [''call is disconnected''] Oh, you fat--
 ''' Male voice:''' Alright, let's try this again.
 '''Efeminate Caller:''' Likely whore.

[''Sound of sniffing'']
 '''Male voice:''' Uhhhh, faggot.

[''Phone rings'']
 ''' Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Uh, excuse me, I thought that this was the number for Carlos Chantor, I, I looked up the escort ad.
 ''' Chris:''' Oh, um.
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Yes.
 ''' Chris:''' Yeah. Actually, yeah um yeah, it is but I- er, can't talk, I can't talk right now, could you me call back...
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Oh.
 ''' Chris:''' Another time please?
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Well, yes I was just wondering about, oh what time should I call back, cuz... I heard you were into watersports?
 ''' Chris:''' Hmm. I may be.
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' What ''kind'' of watersports?
 ''' Chris:''' Hmm. Uh, talk more about, we'll talk more about that, uh later, uh, call back at [''audio cuts'']
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Will do, honey.
 ''' Chris:''' Okay, all right, bye bye.
 '''Effeminate Caller:''' Bye now.

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Hooker incident]]
* [[Mia Hamm]]
* [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]

{{FirstExile}}
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Jackie E-mails 23

2025-12-12T15:30:41Z

HurdyGurdsen:

This page lists emails exchanged between [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] from 22 to 26 [[November 2010]].

In response to his apathy, Jackie sends Chris a torrent of angry tirades. She explains that regular women don't want to have "friends with benefits." She also says that Chris is ill-equipped for a purely sex-based relationship, due to his unattractiveness. She points out how little [[Rocky]] has done for him. Chris fails to respond to the bulk of this, instead taking a chunk completely out of context to compare himself to distressed women who want shallow relationships. He makes the surprising claims that his [[duck]] is bigger and no longer bent, and that [[Obesity#Denial|he's not fat]]. He whines that she has hurt his feelings, and accuses the world of being "[[autistic]]-like" and "unsympathetic," which Jackie again points out is just his way of preserving his ego and ensuring he never has to change. Chris condemns social networking and the [[Internet]], but Jackie reacts with skepticism.

Chris point-blank tells Jackie that her walls of text are just meaningless hate. Jackie offers a final summary that doesn't paint too good a picture.

{{Email|November 22, 2010 - 5:13pm

Hey Chris, I haven't heard back from you recently. I thought maybe you were confused about something I said. Let me reiterate some of my points for you so that you can better understand (reread this several times if you need to, I had a lot of ground to cover and it got pretty long by the time I was done writing it):

A self-respecting girl would not want a friends-with-benefits arrangement with a guy. No girl who knows her own value has any reason to want that sort of repugnant relationship. A self-respecting girl wants a real relationship with a guy. But that alone isn't what made your words to me insulting. What made what you said to me insulting was that we had spent months trying to build the basis of a relationship, but you just stomped all over it the whole time and acted like you didn't even want to be part of it. But you lied to me for months and told me you did want to be part of it. You eventually owned up and admitted your desire to be with me was a lie, but then you thought I would have some compelling reason to actually want to sleep with you after all that you had done to me. You basically told me "hey Jackie, I don't really feel like putting out the effort to make you happy anymore, but I still want you to come give me free [[sex]]." Not a good way to make a girl feel special, Chris.

All that notwithstanding, I'm not holding a grudge against you. I want to be your friend, so I'm going to be helpful and lay out the facts for you so you know what you're working with. there are some girls who are perfectly willing to have a casual sex-based relationship with no strings attached. However, these girls always possess the same two qualities:

1) They usually have some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering. But you probably wouldn't care about any of that, since all you want to do is fuck them and then ignore them.

2) The thing that I bet you WILL care about is that those women only care about the shallowest aspects of men. By that I mean that they want guys who are [[Liquid Chris|good-looking]], [[Clyde Cash|muscular]], [[Surfshack Tito|manly]], and have big [[pickle|dicks]]. You do not fit any of those criteria, Chris. You are significantly [[Obesity|overweight]] and flabby, you have virtually no muscle, your skin is pasty and your forehead is covered in acne scarring that is the most readily visible thing about you even in a low-light, low-resolution picture or video. Your [[hair]] is thinning and looks stringy and greasy all the time because you don't take care of it, your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs to maintain it, and you probably don't wash it all that much. [[ECV 00002|When you dressed up as]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your distended gut was hanging so low it completely covered your belt buckle and much of the front of your pants, it reminded me of when [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]] is naked and they don't have to blur his genitals because his giant gut covers them completely. All of those are things that you could take care of if you actually tried, but you just stuff yourself with fast food, soft drinks, and [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man dinners]] all day and night and make no effort to exercise or keep in shape, which is why [[100 2278|you can't do a single pull-up]] and your body is falling apart before you've even turned 30.

Also, your [[Duck|penis]] is rather small and bent at an awkward angle, girls who want an FWB arrangement just want the biggest, straightest dicks they can find. And trust me, they don't have trouble finding them. For every one of a guy like you, there are five or ten guys who actually take care of themselves physically that these girls can choose from instead. Oh, the other thing is that those girls will often forgive a less-than-attractive physique if the guy in question has a lot of money to spend on them. But having never tried to pursue an actual career (or earn [[money]] with your comics, which you have claimed many times you always wanted to do) means you have no money, either. So basically, you have nothing that an FWB-type of girl would want.

Now, if you want a girl who would look past all of the superficial stuff, you'd need to find a girl who wanted an honest relationship - a girl like me ;) Now, as I'm sure is obvious, I looked past your physical appearance, lack of money, and so on because I wanted to see what your personality is like. A lot of good girls will go for a guy who has a great personality, because that's probably the most important quality a person can possess. Now, consider that I gave you a lot of chances to show me what kind of personality you have.

In all our time communicating with each other, you showed that you are incredibly petty and vindictive. You showed that you care nothing for other peoples' property or livelihood, as evidenced by the ridiculous grudge you still possess against [[Michael Snyder]]. You went into [[The GAMe PLACe|the store]] he was in charge of running, you hogged his TV to play your own games, even though he never owed you that, and then when he tried to assert his dominance over the business HE runs, you scrawled vile graffiti slandering him in his own store, and you refuse to play by the rules and force him to ban you. And YEARS go by and you STILL hold this childish grudge to the point of repeatedly trespassing on the store's property and taking pictures of his children in a threatening manner. You are hateful and judgmental toward entire groups of people you know nothing about. You hate [[Homos|gays]] for absolutely no reason, you are afraid of [[Chris and Race#Black people|black people]], you think calling someone a "[[jew]]" is an insult, and yet you still get super self-righteous and act all offended whenever you think someone is disrespecting you because they don't like your autism. You are a hypocrite of immense proportions, always holding other people to standards of behavior that you believe you yourself have no obligation to follow. You criticize other people for social networking, saying "the internet is turning them autistic", even though you sit at home playing your [[Playstation 3]] ALL DAY LONG. [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|You throw words from the Bible]] at people when they do something that offends you even though you [[lie]], cheat, steal, want premarital sex, [[Death threats|threaten bodily harm/murder]] on others, and a whole host of other activities that God doesn't like. And whenever you are cornered and can't explain away your rampant egotism and hypocrisy, you will just claim that "the trolls" are responsible for all your problems, great and small, and act as though your bad internet experience excuses you from having to take responsibility for anything.

And what's more, you expect others to do everything for you and offer nothing in return. You treat Samantha like she's your personal secretary and like she should do all the hard work to make your life better, and for a while now you've treated me the same way. Whenever either of us offer you an idea of how to deal with some problem of yours, you come up with some rationalization why you are too lazy to do it and beg us to do it for you instead. You'll complain about the same problems over and over but you refuse to consider any solution that is offered to you. You have talked down to me, insulted me, lied to me repeatedly (I know you have lied to Samantha countless times), refused to do something I asked you to do many, many times, yet you still expect me to be some perfect girlfriend who makes you happy all the time. You complained about our IM conversations being stressful and said they "could be construed as arguments", just because I had a different opinion than you on things and wanted you to back up your belief instead of just believing things for no reason. You place your prized video games above all other concerns in your life, you drop the majority of what little money you have every month on video games and then whine about how you don't have the money you would need to accomplish actual goals. You complain about other people being addicted You make excuses that "once we're together, then you will improve yourself", suggesting that you expect me to be a babysitter and give your life direction because you are too lazy to give it direction yourself. If you had been a good person, things might have turned out different between us. But you proved your inside was even uglier than your outside.

The most succinct way to put why you are not currently ready to be with a girl is that you want to be taken seriously as an adult man even though you are a person who sits in [[Chris's room|your room]] playing video games all day, [[Monthly tugboat|leeching money off the government]] that could be going to people who are homeless and starving and at the same time convincing yourself that God WANTS you to have free money, has no goals, no aspirations, and no direction, who avoids any and all work like the plague, whines about [[Bob|his father]] telling him to do chores to real adults who have to work 60 hours a week and take care of themselves, all the while growing fatter, balder, greasier, and closer to death off your diet of fast food and Hungry Mans and a total lack of exercise or activity. You need to change all of these things about yourself before a relationship (fwb or not) with any girl is practical.

Well, that was pretty long, I admit, but it's ground that needed to be covered. I feel kind of better now that we're just going to be friends instead of pursuing a relationship - I feel like I can be brutally honest about things that I always felt strongly about, but had to kind of sugercoat because our relationship was something different. Friends can sometimes be honest in ways that romantic partners have difficulty with. (You might be wondering, after I just got done explaining why you are such a bad friend, why I would want to be your friend - and that's a valid point. Well, I want to be your friend because I think it is possible for you to change, become good, and get the things you want, and it's not hurting me to help you to try.)

One more thing: I have to ask you, again, what Rocky has really done for you. Has Rocky helped you get a girlfriend and/or sex partner? No, you're still alone and a [[virgin]]. Has she helped you get healthy or develop a means of interacting with adults? No, you still live like a slob and play with toys all day. You are severely depressed because you don't have a social life, but she hasn't helped you with that. All she tells you is that nothing is your fault and that your problems will be solved when the trolls are all gone. Well, when the trolls are all punished, you'll still be a lonely, depressed virgin with no real social life, no job, no hobbies, and nothing significant in his life. Why don't you ask Rocky to help you with your actual personal problems, instead of just blaming the trolls for everything? I'M trying to help you by pointing out things you need to change about yourself. Doesn't Rocky? Or does she just tell you that it's okay to sit on your ass playing video games and doing nothing with your life? I've got news for you, if that's what she's telling you, it's because she believes you're too retarded and stupid to accomplish anything and she's just humoring you.

Anyway, I know this probably sounds all pretty brutal and shocking to you. That's why I want you to save this email and reread it, over and over. Read it again each day, so the shock can fade but my message can sink in. Because you really need this message to sink in, Chris. You need to do something different with your life. If you don't, then the life you have now is all you'll ever have.

Write me back,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 23, 2010 - 6:34pm

Well, I have not replied lately, because I have been emotionally suffering and lost iin thoughts of my own with my own confusions and lost paths.

Second, in response to your last message, when you described "such a woman", you essentially spelled out how I've been eeling for a long time. I have felt like I was one of them who have "some kind of psychological hang-up, whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves, or they feel like no one could love them or that they don't deserve a real relationship, or something like that. Basically, every minute they are in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship, they are in pain and suffering." Congratulations, you put my situation in life in better words than I could have ever.

And I do not appreciate the hurtful insults I have read after hat directed towards me. [[Duck|My dick]] is bigger than previously photographed, and it is no longer bent. And [[Obesity#Denial|I am not overweight]]. Two wrongs do not make a right, so at this point, I'll leave you to think about how much more hurt you've made me.}}

{{Email|November 23, 2010 - 7:33pm
Hi Chris.

I have been thinking about the stuff I said to you, and will continue to do so. But I do not feel guilty in the least about it. Everything I told you was the complete and utter truth. And as I explicitly told you, I set out with only that purpose - to make you face the truth. I didn't set out to hurt you. I certainly did not set out to wrong you just because you wronged me out of believing that "two wrongs make a right". And what you call being "hurt", I call being knocked off your high horse and forced to accept some humility, which is something you desperately needed. You have believed for far too long that you deserve to have all your desires handed to you on a silver platter and that you shouldn't have to work to earn any of it. I set out to end that. So if you're expecting me to feel guilty or remorseful over trying to set you right, you're in for a yet another rude awakening, buddy-boy.

You would have a chance at a relationship if you just took care of yourself. You need to start eating healthy, take care of your appearance, build some muscle, and lose a lot of weight. You also need to stop treating girls like they are just living [[Kimmi|sex toys]] who exist to validate your manliness. You can't have a relationship the way you are now because you treat everyone around you as tools for your own selfish advancement and you never give a shit about what other people want. And yes, you are overweight. YOU ARE [[Obesity|OVERWEIGHT]]. at 5'10" and 216 lbs, your Body Mass Index is about 31, which classifies you as obese. And even that is probably a pretty low estimate - you weight moderately less than a person as fat as you would normally weigh, because muscle is denser than fat, and you have NO muscle. Look at yourself in the picture I included, really look at it. A nearly 29-year-old man should not have that giant gut hanging over his pants.

Do you know why most people don't like you? Do you know why women don't approach you, and why people don't praise you, and why people on the internet mock you? It's because you are a horrible, selfish, [[ego]]tistical person. You have NO respect and NO consideration for other people. THAT is why you are alone and unloved. People will give you no compassion because you believe you don't have to show any to other people. It's not because people are "jealous" of you - they know your life sucks, they wouldn't want to be in your shoes. It's not because they're playing "[[kick the autistic]]". No one GIVES A SHIT that you are [[autistic]], they NEVER DID. People don't like you because you use your autism as a fucking excuse to refuse to do anything and demand that other people fix your problems for you. People don't like you because you want them to treat you like a fucking king at the same time as you treat them like shit. People don't like you because you act as if you are doing everything right and all your problems are someone ELSE'S fault when the truth is that your problems are all YOUR fault.

As I said, not a single thing in my last email was an insult. Not one bit. It was all true. IT IS ALL TRUE. Swallow your fucking pride and accept that I'm not insulting you just because I'm refusing to kiss your ass and make you face the uncomfortable truth about yourself. You know exactly what you have to do to fix your life, Chris. I know you do because [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha]] and I (and other people) have told you COUNTLESS TIMES what you need to do to improve your situation. No one else will do it for you. If you don't fix it, no one else ever will.

The way I see it, you have two choices:
1) Put your pride aside, admit you are not special and that you have to follow the same life rules as everyone else, and do the same exact hard work that everyone else needs to do to be happy.
2) Sit on your ass, continue whining that people like me who try to help you are "hurting your feelings", continue to believe that you are a special little snowflake who has endured far worse hardship than anyone else, and spend the rest of your life as a lonely virgin.

I can kind of see now why you love going to Rocky for counseling, and I also understand better what exactly Rocky does to "counsel" you. The answer to both is that she blows smoke up your ass, tells you that none of your problems are your fault, and that you don't have to take responsibility for yourself. And you love that, because you want everyone around you to just kiss your ass. Well, the flip side of that is that Rocky thinks your a retard who will never improve or have sex. I'M the one who believes you stand a chance, Chris. I'M the one who is telling you the truth while she lies to you because she thinks you're hopeless. But by all means, if you'd rather never get sex or love or happiness just so that you can continue to pretend that someone else is obligated to fix your life for you, then don't listen to me. Go ahead and close your mind to the truth when someone who actually WANTS to see you be HAPPY tries to tell it to you like it is. I hope you respond to this and keep an open mind, but I can't make you, and if you want to keep living in your own self-imposed hell I won't lose sleep over it.

Jackie}}
{{Email|November 25, 2010 - 4:58pm
Hey Chris! Just wanted to wish you happy turkey day. Are you and your family doing anything special today?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 4:25pm
Thanks for the Thanksgiving Greeting. It was pleasant.

I am not an [[Chris and his Ego|egotisital]], selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are. Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?

I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other.

I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me.

Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please.

Take Care and Stay Safe,

One Misunderstood, Lonely, Caring Idiot,

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{EmailReply|November 26, 2010 - 7:36pm
And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.}}

{{Email|November 26, 2010 - 8:24pm
Hey Chris! I'm glad your Thanksgiving went well. Anyway, I have some responses to each of your points, which I will put after each section of your writing.

''"I am not an egotisital, selfish man, andwhile the truth is appreciated sometimes, there IS a certain level of Truth Telling that should Never be Exceded, because of hurting the other's feelings and emotions worse than they already are."''

You are egotistical, because not only do you believe yourself to be an ideal partner for any woman in your present state without requiring change, but you also believe it is plausible and practical to remain in your comfort zone for your entire life, to the point that avoiding any kind of discomfort or displeasure is one of your primary life goals. You are most definitely selfish, as evidenced by your unwillingness to budge even the slightest bit when I asked you to step out of said comfort zone and give me something I wanted. You always tried to twist and warp my requests into something else entirely, then you egotistically told me "it's good enough like that", even though I am the one who would determine that, not you. The truths I told you were things you absolutely needed to hear, because you so strongly believed yourself to be a paragon of manhood and you were in such a strong denial that nothing else COULD get through to you. Throwing that bucket of water in your face was on the same principle on which interventions are conducted. I have been nice to you time and again, but you just refuse to listen when advice is given "nicely". Using harsh words was entirely necessary.

''"Is Sympathy a Lost Art in this Damn Digital Communicatve Age that makes more and more Society Autistic-like Every day?"''

I have two responses to this: First of all, sympathy has nothing to do with this. I have spent months sympathizing with you on every subject that bothers you, but it has gotten you nowhere. You still sit alone in your room, depressed and resentful toward the rest of the world. You don't listen when people sympathize with you. I chose my words very carefully because I KNEW they would shock you. I KNEW that shocking you was the only thing that might stand a chance of making you realize that you don't have the luxury of just sitting and waiting for the world to make itself perfect for you.

Secondly, you complain about not receiving sympathy, but when have you ever offered it? When people sympathize with you, all you end up doing is demanding that they fix your problems for you. You don't sympathize at all with people like me or Samantha when we get frustrated at how you routinely ignore our advice and would rather piss your life away playing video games. Friendship seems to be one-sided affair with you; you expect "sympathy" - which I think you misinterpret to mean "[[White knight|coddling]]" - but don't return the favor.

Thirdly, stop saying the internet is "making people autistic". That is grade A BULLSHIT. You bitch all the time about how everyone else has friends and relationships and can socialize, and how you are the only person who has your problems socializing; who then are these supposed people who are turning autistic? As I said, my words were deliberately chosen, I didn't "forget" how to "sympathize" with you just because my words came in an email instead of in person. I would have said the same exact thing to you in person. How about you stop playing the fucking PS Triple for 10 hours a day? Because I don't think you have a right to say others are addicted to the internet when you drop nearly every dollar you have buying stupid games on the internet.

''"I am sorry for the wrongs I have done, but in this day and age, what I Really Need is Friends in real Life I do not Have To E-Mail Ever, but actually Hang Out In Person and Actually Hang Out and Positively Encourage each other."''

Fair enough, it's nice to have friends in real life. So how's that working for you? How many people have you met out in the real world? You can't be talking about ME when you mention socializing in real life - we met online, so talking to me in real life would defeat your silly idea that internet socialization is worthless. Who else do you have? Or are you still expecting people to come up to you and do all the work for you? That's another perfect example of your egotism: You expect others to do all the work of creating a relationship with you, but you can't be bothered to put any effort into it yourself. You just say "I don't know what to do or where to go" as an excuse, despite the fact Samantha has given you many, many detailed ideas of how to start.

''"I have been in deep thought and self-checking towards how to better improve myself, meet new people and whatever. I just do not care to converse via e-mail or over the internet anymore. It is In Person in Real Life or Bust for me."''

I hope you're aware that "Bust" means "virgin forever". You've spent the past decade of your adult life putting absolutely no effort into anything, including making friends, so I don't see why you would start now. I've been doing nothing but trying to help you, but if you arrogantly think you can afford to just toss me away because I won't bend over backwards for a guy who never put effort into making me happy, then I guess I can't stop you. Hope your pride keeps you warm at night when you don't have any relationships.

''"Internet Socialization is BULL CRAP, and you can Quote me ALL OVER the DAMN, FUCKING Internet, AND in the Newsletter Article, as you please."''

Wow, thanks. Glad to see how worthless you consider all of your interactions with me. Is that the sort of "sympathy" you were complaining about not receiving?
As I said, you do nothing in real life, you just expect others to take care of you for your entire life. So I don't see how the internet is such an awful thing by comparison.

''"And another thing, When constantly exceeding that Hurtful Truth Level to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me."''

You've just written a large email telling me that you basically want to forget about me because email is inconvenient and because I don't kiss your ass enough. Once again, sterling display of reciprocity you show there, Chris. Everyone is supposed to be nice and sympathetic to you but you don't care what others think or feel or need.

So anyway, if you want to go your whole life without having to face the truth about yourself, that's fine. Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 23]]

Ivy Q&A

2025-12-12T15:30:18Z

HurdyGurdsen:

On 13 [[February 2011]], [[Ivy]] held '''a Q&A''' with [[CWCki]] users, shedding light onto the Ivy Saga. This interview was part of a CWCki project entitled '''[[CWCki:Inside the Pickle Suit|Inside the Pickle Suit]]''', in which CWCki users could vote on trolls to interview. However, no trolls agreed to an interview other than Ivy ([[User:Clydec/dumbqa|and Clyde]]), leading to the project ending.

==General questions==
{{quoteboxred|Assuming that you weren't forced to abort, what was your original plan for ending the [[saga]]? Did you have anything special planned for the breakup?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:18, 3 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Not really. I was just going to ride it out to a certain point. Like any other relationship, I would have broke it off if things got stale.}}

{{quoteboxred|Also how did you get Chris to watch [[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]] and did he have any prior exposure to [[Wikipedia:Neon Genesis Evangelion|the series]]?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:42, 3 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I liked Evangelion to an extent but it was my good friend who was the real fan. He wanted Chris to watch it. I basically said "Oh, you should watch this, you'll enjoy it" and that's what kicked it off. Chris said he liked the sex scene between [[Wikipedia:Misato Katsuragi|Misato]] "and that guy" but that [[Wikipedia:Rei Ayanami|Rei]] melting everywhere made him uncomfortable. He was familiar with Evangelion but not really a heavy watcher.}}

{{quoteboxred|How much contact did you have with Chris? Also, were you ever actually planning on meeting Chris like he mentions in [[For_My_Sweetest_Ivy|this video]]?--[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 18:15, 3 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Chris called me a lot- it would have been impossible to keep track of how often. I'd just pick up and talk to him then.}}

{{quoteboxred|How much input did you have into the content Chris produced during the saga? Were the [[Wedding Comic|Wedding]]/[[Giant Penis Comic|Honeymoon Comics]] based on your suggestions, or did Chris come up with it on his own?--[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 18:27, 3 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Basically I would plant the seed and Chris would sow it. I'd occasionally suggest small details like what someone would wear or which friends I would want included or whatever. For the wedding comic, I just suggested that we have a wedding comic to prove himself to me. I made a few suggestions but he pretty much did it all on his own. 
With the honeymoon comic, I said something like "I want a honeymoon comic" and he did things like have my dad, [[Officer Keino]], make an appearance. Though… I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of [[Duck|his dick]] in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).}}

{{quoteboxred|Opinions regarding how Chris became the way he is vary from assigning him [[Chris and psychology|over nine thousand different mental diseases and disorders]], to crediting his 'perfect storm' of behavioral issues to simply shitty parenting of an autistic kid. As one of his more dedicated trolls, what are your thoughts? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Like [[Wikipedia: Lady Gaga|Lady Gaga]] would say, I think he was [[Wikipedia:Born This Way|born that way]]. :(}}

{{quoteboxred|Most of the trolling aside from [[BlueSpike]]'s efforts seems designed with the ultimate goal of helping Chris (eg "Get a job" is a requirement of practically all [[sweetheart]]s). Do you believe this has had any effect? Can they? Following on from that, do you support BlueSpike style trolling, aka purposely inflicting as much harm on Chris as possible with no 'goal'? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I really haven't been following trolling in Chris since I've been playing golf in Heaven with Boudicca and Lilith so I'm not really sure. But, I really don't think either method is effective. Neither result will help nor harm Chris in the long run.}}

{{quoteboxred|Is it true that one time when Chris called you, one of your parents (or someone pretended to be your parent) picked up the phone and told Chris off for calling all the time and so damn early in the morning? --[[User:Nhocgreen|Nhocgreen]] 20:49, 4 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|No.}}

{{quoteboxred|Was there a point were [[troll]]ing Chris stopped being fun and became a chore? As in, because he kept calling, you felt you HAD to talk to him and you HAD to keep dealing with him? A follow up question: was it your idea to end it or and outside source? -- [[User:TheMAN|TheMAN]] 03:03, 5 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|For the first question, it never felt like a chore because I'd only pick up when I wanted to and we'd have fun. It stopped being fun towards the end. It got kinda sketchy and I felt uncomfortable. It got too personal. As for the second part, you'll see a thorough answer further down...}}

{{quoteboxred|The say that a madman falling in love with you is a scarier situation than a madman wanting to kill you.{{cite|nocat=true}} Were you frightened or disturbed by any of your contacts with Chris? Or if not, were you merely amused by his bizarre methods of showing affection? --[[User:DJChaos|DJChaos]] 15:22, 5 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I was often amused by Chris, perplexed, and impressed. But he wasn't really that bad, he would just gross me out.}}

{{quoteboxred|When [[Rocky]] decided to call [[the police]], did you have any conversations with her at all? Obviously the background check on you came up with nothing, but did you have any problems at all with Rocky's meddling? - [[User:Machop|Machop]] 16:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I didn't talk to Rocky. We had constant problems with Rocky as did Bob and Barb. It didn't just affect me and [[Josh]], but Chris's home life. She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.}}

{{quoteboxred|This one's kinda stupid, but i am a little curious. When Chris made the wedding comic the dress was ripped off from [[Wikipedia:November Rain|November Rain]]. Since Chris only listens to video game music or songs from guitar hero, chances are he never heard of that song or seen that video. Did you ever mention that you liked [[Wikipedia:Guns and Roses|guns and roses]]/November rain, or is that some of his [[random-access humor|random accessness]]? --[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 17:10, 5 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I mentioned the dress explicitly. I told him I loved the video and I loved the dress. I thought, "If I'm going to get married at the circus, let's go all out".}}

{{quoteboxred|If you had one more time to troll Chris before you died, what else would you have done to the manchild? --[[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 18:06, 5 February 2010 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Nothing, because I am [[Chris and death|dead]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Probably a stupid question but have you ever talked to Barb or Bob on the phone? If so, How did it go? --[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:41, 6 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Yes, keep scrolling!}}

{{quoteboxred|How did you find out about Chris stealing his parent's credit cards for his [[PSN]] account?

--[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:52, 6 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|I confronted him about the bounced check and he admitted to using his parents' cards on PSN. Bob later told me Chris was nicking small change from Barb and that he knew Chris was stealing from them via their credit cards.}}

{{quoteboxred|Kind of piggybacking on another user's question: If you had had the chance to meet Chris in person, how do you think the event would have progressed? Would you have attempted to follow Chris's itinerary to a certain point before suggesting different activities, ride it the whole way through, or completely hijack it? Also, judging how the date with [[Emily]] (and any other female) went, it seems that Chris's ultimate goal in meeting up with a woman is to kiss and/or [[Sex|bed her]]. Would you have been prepared for his advances? Would you have brought along a chaperon/bodyguard, or did you believe that Chris was actually pretty harmless and that you could easily deflect his moves?

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 17:08 7 February 2011 (EST) ''[minor edit for grammar]''}}

{{quotebox|If Chris showed up at my house, I'd call my dad and yell "[[RAPE]]!". I wouldn't be worried about actual rape but just because Chris brings trouble. I'm also pretty certain [[Wikipedia:Purell|Purrell]] doesn't clean feces… I don't want him touching me with those hands.}}

{{quoteboxred|Ivy, I am curious. What was your reaction to the creeptacular videos Chris made for you, particularly "[[Message for Ivy]]" and "[[For my Sweetest Ivy]]"? Did you start to second guess your decision to help troll Chris? What was your reaction to "For my Sweetest Ivy" [[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment|getting played on the radio]]? It seems Chris has arguably made some of his creepiest and disturbing videos during your saga, and was totally enamored with you. Was there anything different you were doing in your trolling of Chris over the phone, as he seemed to be obsessed with your more than any other "sweetheart" of any saga before or since. I only ask this since we don't have your phone calls to hear for ourselves, so I'm curious if you did anything unique to get Chris so wrapped up in you? [[User:Nigroid|Nigroid]] 14:26, 7 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Everything Chris does impresses me. Whether it's backstabbing me or wooing me, I have always been impressed. I loved when one of Chris' videos to me was on the radio. Why would I record myself? I'm just having fun with my good buddy Chris.}}

{{quoteboxred|Ivy's Ghost, what was it about what you did that seemed to influence Chris to draw comic and also bring the crazy out of him? Also, you seem to have been the last sweetheart to use a fursona/sonic recolor sidekicks. Would you recommend future sweethearts to do the same? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 20:23, 7 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Already answered the first part. As for the second part, there's no surefire recipe to get Chris to do what you want him to do. If Chris likes you, he likes you. It's just purely a matter of chance.}}

{{quoteboxred|Ivy, I guess this question has to do with meeting Chris, but how badly did Chris want to meet you in real life? And did Chris have any intentions of getting married with you(because of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|his daughter Crystal]]), or possibly getting a place together(If it went that far in Chris's mind)? Or did Chris just want you inside of [[14 Branchland Court|his filthy home]] and having degrading "[[hanky-panky]]" in the garbage heaps of his house(because nothing says romance like rolling around in some garbage with an overweight man-child)? [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 4:20, 8 February 2011 (EST)}}

{{quotebox|Yes to all the above. I don't know how far the rabbit hole goes, and I didn't want to find out.}}

{{quoteboxred|Any relation to [[Wikipedia:Poison Ivy (comics)|Poison Ivy]]? [[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 10:29, 8 February 2011 (EST)}}

{{quotebox|[[Soul Calibur|SOUL CALIBER]].}}

{{quoteboxred|This is an odd one, but was there, at any time, a moment when you felt a morsel of pity and/or (misguided) affection for Chris, or believed that he could be changed? (Granted, we mostly despise Chris, but there are a few times when some of us feel sorry for him and wish he could improve himself.) Do you believe Chris can redeem himself and become a somewhat functioning member of society, or is he a lost cause? For that matter, did you consider [[white knight]]ing? -- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 18:11, 8 February 2011 (EST)}}

{{quotebox|I felt bad for Chris when Josh was ripping him off until I found out that Chris was ripping Josh off as well. I feel bad for his parents. They did make him, but they also had to endure problems themselves. There's some mental illness in the family, I bet. I don't think Chris can get better because all the influences in his life suck.}}

{{quoteboxred|Your saga produced some of the most bizzare [sic] behavior from Chris. While he certainly did some weird stuff before you came along, his videos for you contained some of the most disturbing behavior he has ever shown. Among Chris's sweethearts, what made you so unique that you were able to get such strangeness out of him? Did you approach him differently? [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 01:08, 9 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Vegas, baby. Vegas.}}

{{quoteboxred|What was the grossest thing Chris ever said to you? I think other people have already asked this but how did you get Chris to start talking to you and did he ever get a "real" picture of you? (as in a picture of a random person from the [[internet]]) Or was Chris just going off of drawn pictures?[[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 19:01, 9 February 2011 (PST)}}

{{quotebox|Chris was going off the drawing alone. The grossest things he said to me were anything involving his bodily functions, him sleeping in the the products of said bodily functions. Oh and "sammies".}}

{{quoteboxred|Was it hard to play it straight when talking to Chris on the phone? Did you ever break character, or just start cracking up? [[User:darkhorse816|darkhorse816]] 22:21, 9 February 2011 (CST)}}

{{quotebox|If I was bored, I was bored. If I laughed, I laughed. I hid nothing. A lot of it was me saying "yeah, yeah, uh huh". I just had him call me back. Whatever I felt, I made no secret of.}}

==Chris stories==

{{quoteboxred|Outside of what's been documented, are there any funny Chris stories you can share with us? [[User:John Ritter's Nutsack|John Ritter's Nutsack]] 15:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)}}
Actually, John Ritter’s Nutsack, I do have a select few!
===Beginnings===

During the time of CWCiki’s successful contact, I was busy in heaven getting my nails did. I’ve got a super shade color here, Blue Satin #461 by Chanel. I paid 48-H Quarters at the Church of the Miraculous Nordstrom for it…

I remember that there was a time when my entire existence filtered through this color, blue. Battery Blue… paired with [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mellow Yellow]]- and so very much brown.

In the beginning, I used to watch the Chris videos with various friends because he reminded me of different peers from high school (my graduating class was upwards of 500 individuals. More peers always ment a higher [[Slow-in-the-minds|challenged]] population roaming the hallways unattended).

I wanted to surprise a good friend by getting a shout out from Chris for us. When [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|I finally achieved this]] he said her name [''Rachel''] wrong during the recording. I phoned him back and pointed out the error. Chris promised to get right to amending this mistake. No big deal, right?

Well, this pretty much set the tone for our entire relationship.

Before the Emily date occurred [''19 March 2009''], when I initially phoned Chris, I was subjected to a quiz by his parents. I spoke to [[Bob]] first.

"Hi! I'm such and such, from such and such. Oh, I know Chris from INSERT PLACE HERE.”

Bob responded by urging me to slow down. He said some endearing terms, though I don't remember the specifics. Politely, he informed me that he had to get his wife because “she's in charge of messages for Chris”.

He passed me to [[Barb]]. At first, it seemed like she was content to just chitchat. Out of nowhere, she interjected (while I was telling her about New England). “I'm sorry, I have to get my pad o' paper."

I'm pretty sure it was a trusty spiral-bound notebook that she used frequently, because I could hear a lot of paper being flipped about.

We begin again and she listed off the following questions:

"Your name? 
Middle name? 
Last name? 
Dad's name? 
Mom's name? 
What they did for a living? 
Divorced or married? 
First, second, marriage? 
Siblings? 
Any cousins nearby? 
Where you live? 
Any family in [[Charlottesville]]? 
Favorite color? 
What High school did you attended? 
Presently in College? 
Major? 
Was that your first choice? 
Did you have a "secondary major"? 
Any pets? 
Do you still live with your parents? 
Roommates? 
Your roommate's name? 
Roommate’s birth date? 
How tall are you? 
What do you look like?...”

Next, she asked what my culture was. I said Irish. She also asked my eye and hair colors, body type (despite already stating such when asked “how I looked”). Again, she asked for my roommate's birth date (apologies were given for being forgetful, but there was no re-mentioning of her notebook’s presence).

I had called the house phone because when I tried his cell he had a recording stating that if you want to talk to him, to call his house phone (later, he would add to “speak with parents”).

Barb’s impromptu quiz went on for a half hour. Pretty loopy situation but she was nice to me. She kept referring to me as "dear" and what-not. Though, she continued doubled check things and asked me to repeat from five or ten minutes ago up until the very end of the session. At long last, Barb passed Chris the phone.

Chris initially wouldn't talk, at all. He was super quiet, and would penetrate the silence with an occasional “yeah” and “mmyeah”. I'm not sure if his parents were in the room but I aimed to fill in the gaps. I really wanted that shout out.

The time spent talking with Chris was monumentally less than the time with Barb. I spoke to him maybe fifteen minutes tops, and the majority of it was a struggle.

Eventually, he agreed to a shout out. [[Apology to Emily|The video]] was primarily aimed at Emily for missing their date (which I had zero idea about). Once done making excuses for blanking on the stood-up girl, he did the shout out and said the name wrong.

I phoned him back and informed him of the disappointment my friend and I shared. I asked him, point blank, “if you can't remember her name, how could you remember mine?"

Chris profusely apologized… and than went on for twenty minutes about [[Wikipedia:Burnout Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]. Compared to the other call, it was as if I were speaking with a completely other guy.

"Oh yeah! If things don't work out with Emily I would consider you for my new [[heartsweet]]."

Suddenly, I was pretty uncomfortable. I told him such was probably didn’t need to be considered as Emily really seemed to be his type. Despite this, Chris continued on. He said he wanted to move away from sexual stuff because his last girlfriend “really wore him out”. Apparently, his dick would hurt during the act and would stay sore afterwards.

Emily and the [[Pickle Man]] happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecate in his pants]] when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."
===After Emily===
Pickle Man left with Emily, then there were [[Hooker incident|the hookers]] and after [[Clyde]] called him, Chris called me. For the rest of our relationship, Chris would be the primary initiator of our phone calls. Only after the completion of a long-term project, or a fuck up would I phone him.

During this call he wasn't so broken up about Emily as he was pissed about the Pickle Man. He was really pissed about Clyde making his mom upset, too. He said his Dad took care of the hookers, though he was brief on the details.

After Chris launched back into [[video games]] for a bit, he switched topics.

He told me that since Emily hadn’t worked out he’d like for me do him the honor of… I told him we could see how things went between the two of us. I wanted to take it slow because I really didn’t know him that well. Plus, My dad usually likes to check out guys first. Chris assured me that [[Third Date|he too liked to take things slow]]- and that he could be my man.

He asked about my [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character. I completely blanked. I had briefly mentioned the existence of such during our initial call to get onto his good side. I told him my character's name was [[Luckette]]. Chris was disgusted and thought this name sounded “[[Homos|too French]]”. He recommended something more American, like Daisy!

I had to rush to draw my character and I sent him that. I included some fan art along the way, too. The drawing of my Sonichu character got cropped in [[Wikipedia:GIMP|Gimp]] so it dropped the 'e' from the end of “Luckette”. Chris really hated this change. He added that I could improve on my handwriting, too. “You could write hearts over the 'I's".

From the get-go, he would never complement my drawings. He would always find something wrong with them. Like, "This character looks like she has three legs and [[Women's rights|very bruised eyes]]”.

He asked me about the drawing of myself. He wanted to know if “the drawing was true to real life”. I didn’t know what to say, so he added: "Is it accurate?". I agreed. He did a nervous laugh and said: "Woahhhh, I could get use to that”!

We then had a really deep discussion about what my character was. Instead of a sheep, Chris said she could be [[Layla Flaaffy|a Flaffy]]. I mentioned [[Wikipedia:List_of_Pokémon_(152–201)#Mareep|Mareeps]] and was quickly shut down. Chris than went on about [[Reginald Sneasel|a Sneasel named Reginald]]…

Chris returned to the subject of names. He insisted that he didn't approve of the French name, or the cropped out “e”. I gave in. I told him I was going to change it to a few other things but he wasn’t pleased with any of these suggestions, either. Finally, I came up with Layla next. I chose Layla because it sounded like a hooker's name- not because of [[Wikipedia:Eric Clapton|Clapton]] (though I do like [[Wikipedia:Layla (song)|that song]]!). I thought Chris would moan but he was thrilled. She sounded beautiful!

"I bet my Reginald would find your Layla VERY sexy! I think Reginald would like to take Layla on a date. I think Reginald would like to Layla to [[McDonald's]]…”

Chris suddenly told me that he wanted the two to get busy in the McDonald's bathroom. “I bet that before the second part of their date, they could take a potty break and Reginald would leave the door open to be a flirt and they could exchange some kisses," Chris told me. Chris also made mention of them washing their hands together.

Just like Chris wasn’t won over by my names, I wasn’t exactly buying the idea of Layla hooking up with this Reginald. I told Chris that Layla would find [[Punchy]] more her type. She's into the Asian persuasion, y’know. Chris was caught off guard.

He could have sworn I knew that Punchy and [[Angelica]] was an item. I replied that not everyone ends up with their sweetheart. Chris didn't end up with YOUR high school sweetheart, did he? Nope. Well, nor did I- as I was presently single, after all. “that makes the two of us," Chris giggled. I said the two people could fall in love at any point in their life. He got excited and declared that meant Angelica could help Reginald feel better about himself.

Chris said "I love you”. Now, and whenever else he’d say this I would never say it back, I would say "I'm sure you do" or do something like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM this].

That call was the 19th of [[March 2009|March]]. That same day, he released [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated#Director's cut|the edit of the shout out video]].

The next time he called me, it was the first time I brought up the '[[Holding Out For a Hero]]' video. He said he'd consider it as. Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.

He asked me if I would ever sing for him in return. He said how he sung with his mom and compared himself to Bing Crosby. He wanted me to sing him an “old song” "I want you to sing me an old song”. I found a video my friend had send me earlier [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7l2HNbGiLM this video] and sing-talked. He wanted me to record this but I told him I didn't have any equipment of that nature. Instead, I taught him the song and he followed along and sang over me. He didn't know the lyrics.

I informed Chris that I would really like it if he sang MY favorite song, too. He threw in some ideas, saying he wanted to make a comic for it. This was great! Although, I was hoping he'd animate it, I was still really impressed that he just had these ideas to begin with.

Sadly, we got into a little tiff because I wanted the [[Wikipedia:Bonnie Tyler|Bonnie Tyler]] version of “[[Wikipedia:Holding out for a Hero|Holding Out for a Hero]]” because he already had the [[Wikipedia:Frou Frou (band)|Frou frou]] version from [[Wikipedia:List of songs featured in Shrek#Track_listing_3|the Shrek 2 soundtrack]]. He wanted to use that one instead of “spending more [[My Coke Rewards|coke reward]] points on the same song”. I didn't like that version. The Bonnie Tyler version reminded me of my Dad. He backed off and agreed to look it up on youtube.

When we caught up again he was really annoyed. He couldn’t identify Bonnie’s gender and preferred the Frou Frou version as “we could slow dance to it”.

I told him again that I preferred Bonnie because of my Dad. Chris sighed and complied, saying he’d allow this sort of thing just this one time. I squealed! “Eeeeeeeeeeeee” just like [[Bionic]] in that one comic with hearts in my eyes and such. I asked if he could have it done the next day or so…

It took him about six days to deliver [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the video]]. He called before I watched and said he did it all with his [[PSEye|PSeye]]. He wanted to know when I was going to get MY PSeye? (I had revealed that I had a [[PS3|ps3]] previously in passing) and he released the video.

The video opened with him looking enthused and diddling about on his plastic [[guitar]]. I recall thinking he looked a bit like the [[wikipedia:Mark David Chapman|guy that had did in John Lenon]] during those first few frames. Soon, however, it got really good. I never asked why he put the cards in the video, though.

My favorite part was when he started really rocking out and did the guitar solo over his head. Pure delight.

A few days down the line, I asked for a [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of his house]]. When I visited Chris, I wanted to feel like I was already at home. I wanted my first time walking in his house to be like “yeah, I belong here', and I desired to know where everything is. He preferred to just show me [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. But… how did he get to his bedroom? He offered the garden but no dice. He chuckled and agreed.

===Threats===
Couple days later, I got a phone call pretty early in the morning from Chris. He was freaked out! The previous night a guy claiming to be Clyde (sounded nothing like him based on Chris' impression) left a voice mail saying that he wanted to KILL Chris! After calming him down, I told Chris that I highly doubted that the caller was anywhere near Chris. He was going to be okay. Chris told me that he ”was upset and... things had happened." During this call I would learn all about Chris’ bathroom troubles. He told me had gotten scared and shat himself.

In addition, his mom basically had a vendetta about doing his laundry these days, too, because of this habit of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting himself]] when he was stressed or emotional. Whenever Chris would annihilate his pants to some degree he'd simply dump (teehee) his soiled garments in the laundry without taking care of them first. Each time Barb would do laundry, without fail, there’d be a very special surprise waiting for her. This sort of thing had happened since Chris was a kid but it got worse after school completed. His doctor suggested that Chris could change [[McDonald's|his diet]] or try [[Sonichu's Edge|exercising]] to help things. Chris told the doctor he wanted a pill. Since the issue wasn’t anything clinical, the Doctor told Chris that he could wear protective garments, especially since Chris couldn't feel the mess unless he moved around- long after the deed had been completed. "But that's for babies!" Chris clarified by screaming at me. The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “[[butt garments]]”.

Barb really wanted Chris to at least try the liners but he was determined. So, Barb stated that she would no longer do his laundry. Though, after that Liquid Clyde call, Barb offered to wash his sheets- the next day. He said he when he had woken up in the middle of the night it had been "a big one”. But, instead of racing off to tell his Mom, Chris climbed out of bed and decided to hide from Clyde by putting one big stuffed animal in the middle of the bed with a pair of [[Carlos Chantor|sunglasses]] across it’s face.

Chris hid on the couch and covered himself in stuffed animals. He didn't want to sleep in his bed because of the mess he made, and because “that would be where Clyde would look for him”. If Clyde had infact broken into Chris bedroom that night it was easy to see how Chris potentially would have worked- although not in the way he intended.

After falling back asleep Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|a "sticky dream."]] He said that it had about him and me in a pool, and that as he had been my hero, I could be his heroine too- his “[[God]]’s angel mermaid”. He stated that when he woke up there was yet another mess but "not a bad mess”. “Oh, you had a wet dream?"

Chris giggled and said: "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"

He added that it was the first pleasant dream he had had in some time… and repeatedly kept corrected me about "sticky dreams”. 
After this dream, Chris returned to obsessing over Clyde. I asked Chris what he was going to do about Clyde and was informed that he intended to phone the [[police]] - eventually. I pointed out that Clyde was out of the local police's jurisdiction (federal wasn’t mentioned) as Clyde resided now in [[PandaHalo|Australia]], after all. Chris didn’t understand what jurisdiction meant, but recognized Australia was too far for [[Virginia]]’s boys in blue to visit by car.

I told Chris that he was being too passive. He needed to take charge and be a man. His first confrontation video ended up being kind of lackluster. Others followed and slowly Chris progressed up the ladder… only to get distracted once again.

[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|The next video]] was one explaining bodily functions to my cousin, Flora (as Chris was an unrivaled expert on this topic). At first he was kind of uncomfortable making it, but I persuaded him that farts were completely natural (like his other ailments) and that he had nothing to worry about. Chris predictably warmed up to the topic and surprised us all by singing for the finale an acoustic ditty of his own.
===Rocky appears===
[[File:4rjvG.jpg|thumb|An angel protecting CWCville. Note the line from canine that Chris apparently didn't notice...]]
He produced a steady stream of videos until Rocky made the scene. She appeared March 30th. After she showed up, he decided he didn't want anything to do with youtube. This was a major problem though. [[Youtube]] was the only way I could see by boyfriend’s God-given face. He eventually gave in and returned to youtube upon agreement that videos uploaded needn’t stay public. Once viewed and saved onto my ipod, they would each be deleted from his page.

I started to encourage him to stand up for himself, overall, and get that darn [[ED]] page taken down. Clyde and ED were all one and the same. Around this time, Chris and Rocky discovered [[legi0n]]. Chris was overwhelmed by the colors and sensations of the forum, but before he closed the window, he saw a photoshop of him “as an angel protecting [[cwcville]]”. He loved that picture so much.

===Vanessa Hudgens===
Around the same point [[Vanessa Hudgens]] appeared. She got Chris really excited because she promised him fame and glory in movies. I had a bad feeling about her though. All of Vanessa’s video requests seemed to require Chris’ [[nudes|nudity]]. I wondered if she was trying to make Chris into a porn actor rather than the next Disney sweetheart? I didn't ask too many questions though, because I had to agree that Chris was a born star.

Chris didn't trust [[Joshua Martinez]], whom had introduced the two. Every time he talked to Vanessa, he had to go through Josh. Chris thought that Josh was hogging her. At the same time, however, Chris was content to play by Josh’s rules.

I gave Chris the idea for his next domain name, [[cwcville.com]]. He was fairly hung up on purchasing sonichuandrosechuforever.com (or an alternative name of the same nature if his first choice was revealed to be already occupied). However, he was quickly swayed by cwcville.com as it was still proclaimed one of his many creations. We had the hopes that he'd make the new site into a big portal that would feature BRAND NEW, NEVER RELEASED, and ORIGINAL material. He registered the domain via godaddy instead of geocities. He selected "godaddy" as it made him think that it was a family friendly domain registrar or something (thus more trustworthy and accepting of his content).
===Layla and Punchy===
After cwcville.com was established, Chris started on [[episode 19]]. While working on pages he made some [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg fanart] of [[Layla]] and [[Punchy]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|swapping underwear]]. I had suggested Chris draw Punchy in women’s underwear sometime (to symbolically display an acceptance of Chris’ interests). When I saw the finished product, I noticed he had shoehorned Layla in there as well. “They both have to do it,” he insisted, “together forever”. Before coloring the final piece he decided to sketch out a one-off of Layla blowing Punch while in wearing boxers.

His plan for episode 19 involved their date at [[McDonalds]]. Chris kept talking about how they'd have sex in the bathroom. He also made a ham-fisted analogy between Punchy/Layla and him/myself. He said that our first date would be at McDonalds, too, and his desire to fuck me in the lavatory. Chris claimed that he normally didn’t approve of sex before marriage, but he was a modern man now who changed with the times. I asked him if Punchy would have the condom, but Chris was adamant that Punchy didn’t have pockets and was insulted when I referenced cartoon loopholes. He tried to suggest that Layla had the condom, but I wouldn't let him as Layla is not that kind of girl. Chris eventually decided that Layla could choose when and when not to birth.

After that pressing matter got resolved, he declared that they were "going to have some fun". Chris also wanted to include [[Wikipedia:Vaginal flatulence|queefing]]. There was [[Wikipedia:Eat, Pray, Queef|an episode]] of [[South Park]] that aired right before this, so it's obvious that's where he got the queefing idea. Though, he never did bring the show up (at least, in reference to queefing). Instead, he acted like he was suddenly concerned about [[Women's rights|women's problems]]. I thought this was weird, but backed up his argument by referencing his incontinence problems. He said that because I accepted his perpetual mud butt, it should be OK for him to be supportive of queefers and include it within the upcoming comic.

I thought that was a great idea! And since I knew about the episode of South Park, I suggested he get glitter and put it in the comic, too. He ended up getting stickers instead. And sadly, in the final cut, he ended up coloring over the queef entirely. I was very disappointed.

While Layla and Punchy were on their date, Layla got a greek salad with ranch dressing, [[pickles]] on the side, and a diet [[coke]]. She was watching her figure, after all, implored Chris. Punchy offered her some free fries as they sat across from one another at the day-glo dinner table. Hailing back to her petting zoo roots, Layla ate them from his hand, careful not to nip any wayward digits.

This instance, along with the fact that Punchy had tolerated her gassy [[vagina]], really wowed Layla. She was so impressed that when they went for their "potty break", she ended up fucking the echidna-hitmon-chu.

Chris went into detail about how this unfurled: He said that Punchy had gone to the men’s room and had left the door ajar while he used the facilities. After simultaneously “relieving himself and flirting with Layla” he decided to visit her in the women’s bathroom. They selected the [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] stall in which to have sex because of the extra elbowroom. After their bathroom escapades, they head to Layla's house to eat again (possibly dessert? Chris intended no innuendos).

Meanwhile, [[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]] is a jealous little spunk. Originally, Chris had really dramatic ideas planned for Reginald. The blue Sneazelchu was going to slash Punchy's tires. He also was supposed to walk in on Punchy and Layla having sex in the McDonald’s bathroom.

I'm fairly certain that all of this hilarious material was axed from the comic because Chris had been showing [[Rocky]] [[Chris and art|his crafts]] and basically censored himself in the process. To me, however, he simply said he wanted to keep things "TV-Y7".

===''Hey Arnold!''===
While Chris was working on all this, he had a new [[dream]]. After a few rage videos against [[Clyde]], the unpleasant [[troll]] dreams had ceased. His latest bizarre dream involved the show “[[Wikipedia:Hey Arnold!|Hey Arnold]]”. He asked me if I remembered Hey Arnold and when I answered yes, he shrieked: "THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S A FOOTBALL HEAD!” After I picked the phone back up off the floor he apologized and assured me that had been his "[[Wikipedia:Helga Pataki|Helga Pataki]] coming out".

Next, he performed several impressions of the Hey Arnold characters that all sounded eerily similar to one another... In particular, he was especially proud of his [[Wikipedia:List_of_Hey_Arnold!_characters#Arnold.27s_classmates_and_their_families|Phoebe]] because she sounded like [[Angelica Rosechu]]. Phoebe wanted to stick around for quite awhile but eventually Chris let me in on his dream.

It started off with him skiing on a mountain with Arnold. They went off a steep jump and flew/floated through space. When they returned to Earth, they landed in the ocean atop a pair of identical surfboards. Chris high fives Arnold and sees everyone on the beach cheering for them.
===Crabs===
He then began rambling on about his many [[cats]] and [[Patti]] (in Heaven, she prefers to hang around with former First Kitty, [[Wikipedia:Socks (cat)|Sox]] [''sic'']). He asked me if I had pets and I told him that I had two hermit crabs, [[Crass and Champ]]. I told Chris that they were married and he suddenly became very interested in the vivacious pair. Always open-minded, he didn't even ask their genders. I don’t think Chris ever did find out that they were [[Homos|both males]]…

It was after I mentioned Crass and Champ that he started talking about visiting the crustaceans and I in real life. He asked me what I would think if I woke up one day and rolled over to find him lying next to me, formerly spooning? Chris would be smiling fondly at me, and would I return this? Or perhaps begin squealing with delight? I asked how he'd manage to get into my dorm room in the first place. He said he'd arrange something with my roommate as she “was clearly supportive of our union”. Despite being fairly certain my roommate wasn’t a shipper fangirl, I made sure to point out to Chris that he most likely wouldn't even have been able to get into the building.
===Easter===
He changed game plan. He said he'd just show up at my Starbucks job. He would be excited to see "his sweetie serving treaties". He was also really stoked about getting free drinks while there, and wanted to know if he could get [[Obesity|free food]], too. I had an inkling that McDonalds would be but a distant memory after he had the ability to save those burger dollars and fill up on toffee bars.

He than announced that he intended to stroll up to the counter and order.

“I’ll have a caramel macchiato, caramel on the side. I’ll have it on my lover, later on.”
Chris decided to upload [[For My Sweetest Ivy|a video greeting the crabs and I]]. This was the “notoriously creepy” video that ended up [[Toucher and Rich Segment|on the radio stations]]. I will always hold dear how much he loved my crabs… and how eager he was to take them for “walkies”.

The next video I requested was for him to get all dolled up for a date with me. I wanted him to mime what our magical first date would be like. Somewhere along the way McDonalds was forgotten. Had Chris and I grown too close for him to uphold this sacred courtship step? I’m thinking the comic took care of such necessary details (and saved him a few bucks in the process). So, instead of elaborating about me rolling over for fries he decided to bring a special guest on the show: [[The Return of Kimmi|a sex doll with my drawn face on it]].

After seeing those videos, I asked Chris how [[church]] went. We ended up getting onto the topic of Easter. Chris started rambling about Easter hunts and how he was upset that he no longer received presents or [[Obesity|chocolate]] anymore. With a stiff upper lip, he accepted that he didn’t get these things, however, because he is “now man, not a little boy”.

I asked him to relive his favorite childhood Easter memories in a video. I also requested he wear his "Easter best". His interpretation of this request was [[Bunny Hop|the bunny hop video]]. Crayola red graced his nose but, sadly, he decided to use permanent markers for his bunny whiskers. He whined about how hard it was to get off and how he was “stuck blushing”.

At this time, Chris [[Biological clock|loved having a schedule and regular work]]. I gave him an assignment of three comic pages a day. On the weekend he was to color the completed pages. After the bunny hop video, he had to be persuaded to upload the pages on time because he was tired from scrubbing the permanent marker off of his face.
===Cheating===
A couple days later I discovered, through the grapevine, that Chris had been cheating on me with [[Vanessa]]. I insisted that I wasn't angry with Vanessa but I was angry with him, although Chris kept pleading with me not to blame Vanessa. I decided to punish him by requesting a video of him spanking himself. Although my intention wasn't that he be naked, Chris decided to kill two birds with one stone and film the spanking video immediately after the shower video he made for Vanessa. I had repeatedly asked for Chris to upload the video, per usual, to [[youtube]] and he point-blank refused. After viewing the video, needless to say I knew why.

Some troll sent Chris a package of “[[butt garments]]” in the mail. Barb thought that they were samples from their doctor, so she kept them, just in case. Chris was angry that she was keeping the diapers and tried to steal them from her multiple times, but he failed. Barb squirreled them away in her room.

My roommate was also really offended that Chris cheated on me and insisted that a mere spanking wasn't an acceptable punishment. She suggested he wear the diapers and label his [[Duck|crotch]] as "unfit for collection". During the photo shoot Chris decided to lick his [[medallion]] and throw a wink our way, as he wanted to “still look good for me”.

Afterwards, he had to sneak the remaining diapers back into his mother's room. Given this atonement, Chris’ mood returned to normal. He began discussing his plans for meeting up with me again and blamed [[Virgin with rage|his unfulfilled libido]] on his temptation to cheat. He had never mentioned this resurgence of “needs”. Just like with the Easter discussion, and many discussions before, Chris reminded me that he was “a man”. He made to sure to add that [[Julie]] had been “forever ago by now”, too. 
Chris blamed me for why he cheated on Vanessa, and stressed it wasn't Vanessa's fault. He said he felt neglected because his needs weren't being met.

"You said Julie wore you out," I told him.

"But that was forever ago!!" Chris protested.

I asked him why he was telling me all this now but had never gave me a prior explanation. I followed this up by asking what kinds of needs he had. The response wasn’t entirely pleasant. Some of the conversations were as such:
===Love and marriage===
He fantasized about us being married together. I told him I was going to for my PhD in Art History and wanted to take my time [when it came to marriage]. He said he'd do [[art]] as well when we were married, but as a “writer/artist”. I’d come home from a long day of work… then Chris have to go to work. [[Women's rights|I’d cook.]] Chris wanted know if I would mind if, he was really [[stress]]ed out, if he could go to the strip club on the way home? I was taken aback. He was supposed to be telling me about how he had needs. Were these it? He continued by elaborating that if he was especially stressed, this would allow me to continue cooking without his stress interrupting the process.

So, I asked him what we’d do if I had sexual needs?

“I’m sorry, what?” was the reply.

I re-iterated that women have sexual needs, too. He understood. I continued: “therefore, if I'm stressed out, do I get to go to the strip club?"

Chris was very confused. He told me that there were women already there. I offered a male strip club. Chris told me he didn’t think we had those in [[Virginia]]. I asked Chris what if we had a threesome and he said he'd be okay with such. I added that wanted a second man to join us. I received another “what” before he proclaimed that he no longer wished to discuss such topics.

Chris next asked me about my art phd. I told him about how I wanted to be a museum curator. I asked about [[CADD|his college degree]] and he said he would use it to draw [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. I didn’t understand how this work, given the nature of his degree. I concluded that this would mean I was the breadwinner. Chris chimed in that "yeah, we're modern like that”.

I asked what would happen when we procreated. He said that when I had [[Daughter|Crystal]], I’d have to take a time out from working. Without hesitation, I asked what if I didn't like the name Crystal? After some disgruntled sighs, I started on about how Crystal was a stripper name. He got upset. Chris always knew his Daughter was supposed to be named Crystal- [[God]] told him so! I asked him what if God told me that MY daughter's name wasn’t crystal, and he got mad. I flat out told him that if I'm the bread winner and was going to carry the kid and go through labor that I should at least have say in the naming process. Besides, he’d have his stripper friends named Crystal, having a baby named such too would be overkill. He kinda broke down about it and he said we’d discuss such things when the time actually came.

Chris was, once again, suddenly turned on. We got back on the subject of what we would do if we met and how I'd be coming down to [[Ruckersville]] when I graduated. He was getting fairly frisky and wanted to get all intimate. Chris wanted to know how I’d go down on him. He told me that if he ate something before the deed how I too would taste it. I remember asking him about [[Country Cookin]]’ around this point to move the topic along. Since he goes there a lot, after all. Chris said eats spinach and dessert first, then eat chicken. From Chicken we returned to… I indulged him. I asked him what would he eat beforehand? He said he'd eat these things immediately, and they’d be strawberries.

I asked him if it’d taste like "strawberry milk”? "No, just strawberries". The subject of [[recycling]] his [[semen]] was visited. I asked him to enjoy some strawberries on video and then try to see if his afterbirth tasted like strawberries, too. He said he didn't have strawberries in his house because they’d just spoil in the Chandler’s fridge. I asked him if he had chocolate and he said "yeah, some chocolate syrup for chocolate milk!”. So, I told him to try that instead. Though, he said he'd “do it all together on camera”...

I'd try to keep the calls short because otherwise he'd talk for two hours. 15 minutes was always the ideal length for me. I called him back when he said the video would be done. Chris said he didn't have any chocolate syrup so he opted instead for orange [[Fanta]]. Chris downed it.

On [[April 2009|the 16th]], after Chris had shown me the video privately, Clyde hacked Chris's website and leaked [[April 16 Fetish Vids|multiple videos]]. The spanking video, and Chris dancing about in the shower with an imaginary me. When I saw that video I asked him about it. He said it was for Vanessa. Chris was ready to take on [[nude]] roles. As mentioned, I asked for the spanking video but I didn't ask for it to be in nude. Now I knew why it had been. I purposely did not want any nudes of Chris.

Chris thought Clyde "interrupted the stream" as opposed to hacking his website with his password or something like that. So, he never changed a thing with godaddy.

The next day, Chris spoke with Vanessa again and reported to me about how he was behaving even though she was up on her ways. He never thought twice about telling me about how much Vanessa wanted him. I cried about how I felt he was still cheating on me and he made [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|the video kissing the blow up doll]]. Unsatisfied, I wanted a video where he swore on the bible that he wouldn't cheat on me again but instead [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|he simply quoted verses]]. Though I appreciated the effort, it still wasn’t enough. I asked him if he remembered all the old videos he rid of? Like [[CWC is Angry|that one video]] where shot [[Adam Stackhouse]]? He did. I asked if he would upload it since it made him look like a badass and might scare off Clyde. He said it’d be like he was defending me! Indeed, two birds – one stone.

I later re-discovered how much I had enjoyed [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Christian and the Hedgehog boys]] when it first hit the e-waves. I asked Chris to make an album [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|another album]]. Chris wanted to include his girlfriend- and the crabs. I gave him song ideas and he went to town with them. Some of them were long, though, and he kinda got bored. That’s why the songs in toward the end were not as creative as the first few. Like "[[Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)|Paradise by the Seashore Light]]”.

When the album was released and I shared it with all my friends. Just like everything else, Clyde got ahold of it. I remember asking why Layla was included on the cover. Chris said she wanted to join and was the stage manager. She was peaking out from behind the curtains- not being a dismembered floating head.
===Stalking===
Even after all the tears, Chris began letting slip about his planned meetings with Vanessa around town. They decided to meetup at long last. Josh got Chris to go to the [[Chris's education#James_Madison_University|JMU]] campus with a [[sign]] and every time Chris would think he saw her, she would disappear. Chris stressed how didn't want to use that sign so he decided on wearing a hat, too. I thought Vanessa and I could be friends but Josh had other intentions. He wanted to exploit Chris for [[money]] and would do this by going through Vanessa.

Josh claimed to have very strong ties to the FBI and threatened to hack into Chris’s [[ps3]]. Josh wanted to monitor Chris 24/7 as punishment for not meeting up with Vanessa not giving her the "presents” she had requested. I was upset to learn about the times Chris had gone out with Joshua to [[Wikipedia:T.G.I. Friday's|TGI Fridays]]. During one date, Chris didn't have enough money for food because he spent his week’s allowance on the previous time they went out. Josh just ordered a meal for himself and ate it in front of him while Chris watched. Chris just got a slushie drink and asked for refills. The waitress did not like this. 
Later on, Chris discovered that he was being mocked by Clyde again. I suggested Chris perform a string of videos to prove to Clyde, once and for all, that Chris meant business. This included baring his [[fangs]] at the camera and giving the PSeye a good smack ‘round. Sadly, nothing worked with Clyde…

At TGI Fridays, Josh got Chris to pay for his meals. He kept telling Chris that they would go meet Vanessa. Every time Vanessa failed to show and Josh would enjoy the meal on Chris's dime, obviously.

Once, the proposed meeting place was at JMU. Chris went there with a sign looking for Vanessa, but only found campus police. While there, Chris donned a hat and tried to keep a low profile.

I discovered that Chris was driving all over the place looking for Vanessa, and at JMU in particular, I began to doubt Chris's loyalty. Chris recommended a simple video reiterating his promises to me, but I insisted that, this time, such was not good enough. I suggested a full-blown marriage ‘what if?’ comic/video and he proposed. My Daddy, whom always reminded me of Coach McGuirk, made his first appearance in the comic.

Chris really loved the Coach McGuirk idea. He spoke with my father on the phone and wowed him with stories about him being in the cub scouts. Daddy, meanwhile, quizzed Chris. What was his home life like? What was his game plan for the future? Chris, proudly, informed Daddy that his job was “writing Sonichu updates”. Daddy asked: “what the fag is that, son?”. Chris changed the topic…
===Comics===
All of my friends made an appearance in the [[wedding comic]]. I also suggested the [[Wikipedia:November Rain|November Rain]] wedding dress as, since I was already at the big top, I might as well dress for the occasion, too. Chris decided that he would have to wear his clown shirt in the comic- not because of the ceremony’s theme, but because no one would recognize him if he was wearing a normal suit alone. No, the medallion was not enough.

It was in this comic that he finally put to use stickers originally intended for Layla's feminist queef. They were made the petals for flower girl, [[Ching Chong]], to scatter. [[Wikipedia:Celine Dion|Celion Dion]] was chosen as the background music because… well, [[Wikipedia: Meat Loaf|Meatloaf]] had a hangover and I don’t think Chris would have been comfortable with [[Homos|Elton John]], even if the man had previously played at Crass and Champ’s ceremony (therefore insuring us a recommendation discount!).

Clyde showed up again, dropping more Vanessa info and videos. It was after that that Chris attempted to meet up with Vanessa once more. A wild goose chase ensued. Every time Chris showed up at a prospective meeting place, he received a call stating that Miss. Vanessa was at another joint. On that one night, Chris drove around the [[Charlottesville]] area, looking for Vanessa from 6 pm to 2 am.

The following day was a particularly dense call time for Chris and I. All in all, I received more than 30 calls in a single 24 hour period from Chris (I had decided to ignore him for that one day). When I finally did pick up, Chris wasn’t happy but nor was I. He had worried me by not phoning the day of the Vanessa excursion. So, to make up for it, Chris drew us the honeymoon comic.

I asked why he had included six [[Wikipedia:Glade (brand)|glade]] plug-ins with our suite. Chris claimed that a single one wasn’t strong enough for [[Chris's room|his small bedroom]] so a suite would require much, much more. Things were about to get dirt-ay, after all! Plus, there was that whole thing with Chris defecating whenever he experienced a sincere, triggering, emotion…

While drawing [[Giant Penis Comic|the honeymoon comic]], Chris wanted to draw [[Duck|his penis]] life sized. I called him to find out what was holding things up and Chris revealed that he had taken a break to cuddle with [[Barbara|Mommy]]. After considering the situation, Chris decided to hand off the phone to Barb. Barb was, surprisingly, very friendly. She had been such during my initial quizzing, but now her guard was completely brought down. Chris was, however, impatient because Barb had interrupted him while he was drawing his dic]. His dick was bent in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] because I didn't want him whitewashing history and pretending his dick had no curve to it. As previously implied, the theme of our relationship had always been one of acceptance (and feces).

Chris claimed the speed lines across our bodies were due to the “camera zooming in on the goodies”. After Barb finally left the room, Chris settled on just tracing his dick. The tracing was his idea to simplify the process of drawing his dick accurately (and so he wouldn’t have to look at it for too long). He attempted to trace his “small sack” with it’s “lots of [[Comeuppance|cum]]” but eventually gave up and winged it.

Chris asked if my comic self had any powers so I made up a sort of fursona analogue to [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. One surprise in the comic was the re-appearance of my father, giving permission for Chris to deflower me. I appreciated Chris asking Daddy… before asking me. Chris gave his "scout's honor" to take care of me.

After that dastardly Clyde intercepted the honeymoon comic it went public. In addition, all these debauched accounts of sex and freewheeling fecal matter reached poor, innocent Ching Chong's ears. She had become confused and terrified of my poor, insane, boyfriend. I suggested that Chris make a video explaining his behavior and why it’s natural. Honestly, I primarily requested an explanation of the leaked spanking video, but Chris offered a bonus discussion about his poopoo problemos and [[navy]] consumption. [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|This video]], in particular, became very notorious across the internet (and airewaves) on such sites as hiphop superstars and more.

To cover his ass to Rocky, he made a [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009#Additional material|follow-up video]] disavowing responsibility, and blaming me for mention (and revelation) of his worse moments to the world.

During all of these events, Chris began to have [[Biological clock|sleeping problems]]. He complained that [[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain|he couldn’t turn off his brain when falling asleep, and that he couldn’t wake his brain when getting up in the morning]].

I decided to stick to Chris’ canon of me. I suggested he share these problems with the world! Since he was slipping on his comic schedule, anyways, I added he make more videos and other content to put out. [[Quizzes]], quizzes, and more quizzes was Chris’ response. Although, during this time he made a [[wikipedia]] page, too.

At one point, Chris told me that he detested the word "sammies" (diminutive for sandwich). He hated the word because when he took up fucking his bed pillow, he always folds it around his dick like a sandwich. The word "sammy" reminded him of this practice and it embarrassed him. [[Comeuppance|Mayo]] was not mentioned at any point…

Discussion of the [[Autism papers]] was brought up during our relationship, too. It is no secret that Chris likes to use his handicap as a crutch. I would often tell Chris that he wasn’t handicapped. but instead that he was handicapable. He had [[Son-Chu|a car]], right? And Charlottesville was his playpen to embrace and explore forever more. However, Chris insisted that his Autism was a burden. I requested to learn more about his diagnosis. If we were to have children, would our offspring be at risk for the disease? Chris did not like this term. Though, he was willing to look into the matter— of the sake of little Roberta Latrine (formerly Crystal Weston). It was quickly discovered that the papers were locked up in a hutch with the key’s constantly on Bob’s person. The subject was not touched upon again.

Eventually, he had one more chat with [[Officer Keino]]. It was revealed during this time that Chris had gone to the police because of Josh - and with Rocky. As previously stated, Chris kept mentioning going to the police, but I didn't think he’d actually do so as that would entail explaining things to his parents. Also, Bob and Barb have always been extremely afraid of the authorities. For years, Bob has burnt all troll mail they receive in a barrel in the backyard (troll gifts, however, were consumed by the family or put to use).

===The End===
Bob hid the vast majority of [[troll]] material from Barb.

The breaking point for Bob and Barb had been [[Josh]]. He had sold Chris a [[PSP]] with a non-existent feature for a higher price than a normal PSP. Chris made no secret of intention of giving his old PSP to Vanessa.

While Josh was scamming Chris, Chris scammed Josh back by giving him a bad check. Bob and Barb ended up agreeing to go to the police with Rocky to catch Josh and ONLY Josh. They agreed ONLY to discuss matters regarding Josh as they were handling "Clyde and the trolls on their own terms".

Taking advantage of the situation, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb at the station by monopolizing and domineering [[Jerkops|the police]]’s help. She pushed for the authorities to investigate all the trolls- and Ivy, as well. Despite his parents protests, Rocky went against their wishes and ignored their harbored anxiety.

Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. While Bob/Barb and Josh continued their feud over a PSP, I broke up with Chris over his betrayal. Chris, however, didn’t stop calling. After two days, Daddy and I had to have Bob tell Chris to leave our family alone.

During this call, Bob told me that he and Barb were planning on going up with Chris to visit me at Boston University! Initially, Chris intended to visit alone but was concerned about visiting as my University's website featured an ethnically diverse student body. Bob and Barb decided to join and had begun saving up for the entire family's vacation.

The trip was called off because Barb discovered Chris was stealing from her purse. He had been sneaking small change for a while (in addition to using their credit cards on [[PSN]]), but recently it had become larger and larger amounts. I had known about the cards on PSN but Chris had told me such things “were in the past”. He did, however, stress that his parents were unaware of his five-finger-discounts. Chris’ pocket-book thievery was revealed at the police station to everyone.

Sadly, the events during this time period really got to Barb and Bob mentioned that she threatened to kill herself.

Bob continued the conversation and informed me that he would handle Josh. Bob didn’t trust the police to help because Chris was also a guilty party, and had [[Chris and the Law|previous run-ins]] (six to seven incidents, he stated). So, Bob intended to save the matter for small claims court. As for the trolls, Bob was convinced that [[Megan]] (“that CRUEL, GERMAN, girl” he dubbed her) was behind the evil doings. He revealed that the Chandlers had started getting harassed back in [[1999]] by a man named Jamie Dunn (who also tried to land Bob in the slammer). Furthermore, Bob stated that there were people in the world penning thesis’ about Chris for their degrees.

Bob no longer trusted Rocky. Bob said he'd tell Chris to stop calling me and at the same time, he requested that he use my father's clout to help catch Josh.

Although Bob was rather pushy he did back off soon after- with a heavy heart, and respectfully so. He made one final plea that I re-consider. Chris and his family required “all the help they could get”. Bob said I could trust him, that he was “as clean as they get”. Unlike Rocky, Bob never thought I was a troll. Bob and Barb had always been polite to me, kind even. It was a tragedy that things had to end the way things did- that Chris still had no concept of the word “no”.

Bob asked if I wanted to speak with Chris. Bob wanted us to keep talking. At the very least, if I decided to stick to my guns, he asked if I’d say goodbye to his son. I had to decline- to go back now and hear his voice again would have been too painful…

And then [[CWC "Boyfriend"|I killed myself]].

{{IvySaga}}

[[Category:Ivy Saga]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Autism Tutorial Extra

2025-12-12T15:29:57Z

HurdyGurdsen:

{{quote|''In a way, it's like Chris returning to his fantasy world of CWCville. Once again, Christian is the slim, broad-shouldered, intelligent, barrel-chested, handsome hero whose word is law, and those who disagree with him are all ugly, stupid simpletons who are jealous of his 'successes' in life. People who don't share Chris's opinions are wrong, and all of Chris's opinions are correct, simply by the virtue of being Chris's.''|videogamenostalgia, [[YouTube]]}}

'''Autism Tutorial Extra''' is a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level created by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], uploaded on 13 [[February 2011]] and serving as a bonus epilogue to his [[Autism Tutorial]]. Here, he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|once again]] proves that he's in complete denial of what [[Asperger syndrome]] really is. [[Homos|Being]] the [[JERKS|intolerant]] one we all know and tolerate, Chris basically warps information he found on the internet, and tries to make himself look good while [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|beating the shit]] out of one of the most famous psychologists in history.

It is noteworthy that the level works in the same way for the other levels in the Autism Tutorial, as the [[Sub-Episodes]] did for the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], namely with Chris proving his superiority over an obvious strawman by physically assaulting him and then prattling on about how much unbearable "torment" the strawman in question has inflicted upon him. Chris also mispronounces Asperger as "Ass Burger" the entire time, [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|showing he's learned nothing]].

Interestingly, though Chris lambasts Asperger for not leaving the term autism "as it was", "autism" was initially used to describe [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic symptoms]] of schizophrenia before Asperger's 1938 lecture. Asperger's work helped distinguish autism as we know it today from more dangerous mental disorders. Furthermore, Hans's paper never refers to autistics as [[Chris and remorse|psychopaths]] - at least not in the way that Chris interprets it - invalidating another one of Chris's claims.

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Autism Tutorial Extra
| ytid = mJo5tuH9H3g
| stardate = 13 [[February 2011]]
| subject = {{Autism|text}}, {{Video games|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| other = {{Direct Feed|text}}
| previous = [[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]
| next = [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
And now, ladies and gentlemen, because apparently after you decided to watch last part—after watching the Autism Tutorial, we have a special guest for you today! Please put your hands together for a reasonably facsimile of, Mr. Hans Asperger!

[''Hans Asperger is seen at the far end of the stage. He has gigantic bulging eyes and wears a crown. Chris walks over to join him, standing [[Homos|almost intimately close]] to shake his hand, as a backdrop and desk fall from the sky to complete the talk-show atmosphere. After Chris walks over to his desk, Hans smiles and waves to an audience silent as the grave.'']

I am your host, Christian Chandler, on this short talk show. And this is Mr. Hans Asperger. Now, let's talk about him for a bit: Now, apparently—Mr. Hans Asperger. From the Vienna University Hospital in 1938—Oh, how ''recent!''—you gave a lecture in Germany, on "Autistic Psychopaths", after investigating a mild form of Autism. Isn't that right, Hans? [''Note: As referenced above, Aspergers gave no such lecture, and the type of "autism" Chris is talking about is actually the Narcissistic symptoms of schizophrenia (which simply used the name at that time), and not a "mild case of Autism" as Chris flat out lies to us about.'']

[''Hans turns to face Chris.'']

'''Hans:''' Ja!

And also, apparently, this separate diagnosis, as it is quoted, was not recognized until 1981. [[Chris and his ego|Only one year before ''I'' was born.]] Although coined from your name, Mr. Asperger, apparently a Mr. [[Wikipedia:Leo Kanner|Leo Kanner]] took the study much further and established the term "Early Infantile Autism". Do you applaud Mr. Kanner for his work? [''Note: Leo Kanner made Early Infantile Autism recognized in '''1943'''. He '''died''' in 1981.'']

'''Hans:''' Ja!

''I see''. Now, in my feeling alone—possibly mutual with others—the name Asperger. It strikes me badly, and I feel offended just by hearing the word. Do you feel I have the right to my own opinions and feelings as an individual person, Hans?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Thank you very much, good sir. Now, do you feel—do you feel bad about having a name that sounds like a bad cut of cow meat?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you feel that I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not deserve any blame or punishment for having an opinion of a single word, such as Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you have a general understanding about how I feel about you now?

[''Something flat and rectangular, with a wrench stuck to the front of it, falls from the sky and lands atop Chris's desk.'']

'''Hans:''' Ja!

[''Chris walks over to Hans again, once again intimately close.'']

Are you ''positive'' you really understand how I feel about you, Mr. Hans Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

[''Chris gives a wide, deceptive smile as he goes back and forth with Hans.'']

[[Random Access Humor|Yeah? 

'''Hans:''' Ja! 

Yeah? 

'''Hans:''' Ja! 

Yeah? 

'''Hans:''' Ja!]]

[''Chris is suddenly very annoyed. He bitch-slaps Hans to the ground. It is also revealed that Hans has a tail.'']

[[Wikipedia:Baka (word)|Baka]]!

[''Hans quickly regains his footing, facing away from Chris and looking over his shoulder in terror.'']

I feel dislike towards you! For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us autistic kind sound ''even worse!'' ''Aspergers.'' You shoulda left it as it was! Autism is autism! And in your research you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at ''that!'' Now get out of my sight! [''Note: Again, another blatant lie Chris pumped out in order to make himself look like the good person here, and not the person beating up one of the most influential doctors in the 20th century. Aspergers literally did the opposite of this.'']

'''Hans:''' Ja! [''Hans quickly runs off the stage.'']

[''Chris looks out over the audience, crossing his hands in front of him.'']

I do apologize for that, uh, rude outburst, folks. But then again, that was just the way I felt and have been feeling about the word "Asperger" since I first heard it a few years ago. It is my second least favorite word, where my first least favorite of all time is "[[naïve]]". Again, I apologize if I came off as bad to anybody, or made them feel bad, for the way I acted. But then again, I do get emotional and carried away sometimes. Thank you for watching, and have a good, safe, and blessed day.

[''The game cuts to Hans standing in the Level Completion area, still terrified. He stands there, legs quaking, as the screen behind him rattles off the achievements. Explosions of victory confetti go off. The level's leaderboards are shown, with all the scores being zero, as there were no points to collect.'']

===Captions===
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Note, this is a satire, with Facts from the Wikipedia's Autism Page. 
This does not reflect the person or opinion(s) of the actual Mr. Hans Asperger. 
And no personal offense is intended on the actual person or any person 
Internationally of his home country or homeland(s), including any relatives and friends. 
Also, no offense to those with said-named Mild Autism. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>As stated earlier in the Autism Tutorial Animation. 
Autistic people are Not Crazy People. It is Very Rare to find someone with a 
"Psychopathic" Mental Illness who is also Autistic in any form. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>I was born on February 24, 1982. 
<nowiki>**</nowiki>The LittleBiGPlanet Crown on Hans is only a Copy from a passing acquaintance who shared it; 
I do not currently Own the Real Game Data that grants me the Crown for Real. 
And I realy ''[sic]'' want a code for one, as well as ALL of the Beta Costumes. 
Including the Bug-Buster Outfit and Life Jacket. M.M., PLEASE, make the Beta Costumes 
available for Sale on the PlayStation Store Now! 
"Asperger" is my second least favorite word of the English language; 
My Top Least Favorite is "Naive", because it Questions an individual's 
mental capabilities and intelligence.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|nextlink=[[CWC`s Autism Tutorial with Director Commentary]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]