CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob's Letters To Chris

2017-09-07T01:28:48Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Throughout the latter years of his life, [[Bob]] understood the importance of leaving a positive lasting impression on his son. In an effort to both bond with Chris, encourage him, and share stories of his past, Bob had left several letters to Chris, in hopes of reaching through to him. Chris revealed the contents of these letters during a [[CLog 09042017 - Mister C|live Captain's Log]] in September 2017.

In the longer, more personal letter, Bob puts an absurd amount of focus on his material possessions, collections, and achievements, only mentioning Chris in relation to him inheriting his material possessions. The other letter details Bob's ideal direction as to what [[Sonichu]] should be like. In the video in which Chris read it, Chris mockingly scoffed at his father's suggestion, looking visibly embarrassed.

===Open Letter - December 26th, 1987===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
To Christopher Weston Chandler, from your Daddy. Started December 26th, 1987.

The reason for this open letter to you which will grow as time goes on, is that I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you. Particularly to share my things, my dreams, and my thoughts with you at a time in the future when you will be able to understand, remember to use my things and carry on my dreams if you want to. Hopefully you will grow much older together. I will probably be rambling until I drive you to distraction, but just bear with me, because I will get to the point sooner or later. I hope I have been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college, and for your mother, until she joins me at the great sing-a-long in the sky, or wherever. Anyway, I expect you to take care of her, love her, and never disappoint her for as long as she lives. I also expect you to never disappoint me, because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough, and you need me. Since everything always seems to happen for the best for me, and when I needed it, I have always felt like my mother was my guardian angel. You look exactly like my mother and I.

I didn't plan my life. I just took it as it came along. I seem to have had no control over it. It always came along with what was right for me. Look at me eight years ago in 1979. When I was really down and out, no friendship from Alan and Carol, and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems that I didn't even know about. Your mother, Barbara Ann, helped me through the rough spots and together we had you. Now, I really had something to live for. No better things or events could have happened to me. We have come a long way in the last eight years. Together, we have built a whole new life with an exciting set of dreams. I also expect you to never disappoint yourself. If you think you are ??? at something you are trying to do, just stand back, and if it is meant to be, an answer or break will appear. Just remember, there are many sides to a mountain and many ways to climb it. If you get stopped, back off, regroup, and try another way. If you are still not successful, maybe it is not meant to be. Accept is as experience and go after something else for a while. If it is meant to be, having it on the backburner simmering for a while is not bad. It will pop up again, and the way to attain it will be there. Everything in its time. Your mother and I have done our best for you, and in return we expect at least that from you, for yourself, and your children.

I will be talking about a lot of things in no particular order. I won't always spell words right, or have the best sentence structure, but then, I am an electrical engineer, not an English major. As a matter of fact, English was my worst subject. I am going to try to write this just as if I'm talking to you face-to-face, any time you care to read this. All of the physical objects and things I have, we'll talk about. Your mother, Barbara, or your Aunt Harriet will keep for you until you are ready for them. If you don't think you will ever need some of them, or don't want some of them, don't waste them. Try to do something with them that you and your mother think I would do. Recycle them back into the world, for the world to use. After all, remember we are only the custodians for a while, and what is one man's junk is another man's treasure. Okay, so here I go. Enough of the preamble. If you are still with me, turn the page.

Well, Christopher, one of my actions that I regret most when I was a young man, sometimes in the late 1940s, I think, I was entrusted with my grandfather's straight razor by means of his last will and testament, and I carelessly misused it and broke it by trying to use it as a screwdriver. I found out later that my grandfather Holloman had specifically wanted me to have it, because it had been very personal to him, and he wanted me to have something of his that had been very personal to him. Something that he had used every day. Well, I still have that broken razor of his, and I still carry the burden of carelessly, with no concern, breaking it. I knew that I would never use it to shave with, but it was my one personal bond with him, and I still feel like I betrayed his trust by carelessly and thoughtlessly misusing it and breaking it. Maybe that razor did have a purpose greater than anything my grandfather and I ever dreamed of, for it is because of my careless ??? of my grandfather's razor that I am writing this open letter to you. I hope that you will not carelessly misuse, waste or destroy the value of the many things I have collected for you. Do not be in such a hurry to use, play, or work with these things. First, learn all about them, how to use them and enjoy them, their value, and how you can thoughtlessly waste their value, then enjoy them as I have. For example, my very good stamp collection, or all the recorded popular music on cassette tape, VCR tapes and records. The oil paintings, United Nations art graphics, first of the issue covers, first LIFE covers, the complete set of the very valuable wrong first day issues of the United Nations covers. The musical movies I have collected for you on VCR tapes. My books on popular music, movies, entertainers, musical theater. Ship models, my day lilies, gazebo, and dreams.

As a boy, my greatest dream was to have inherited things from my mother, father, grandparents, etc. But alas, they were poor, and we were poor, and the things that we and they had didn't stay around long. I am a collector of things, even more than your mother. And as a boy, I always wished I had a stamp collection, or coin collection, or book collection, in a large old house from my grandparents. Well, I did end up with a few things which you will get from me. I have the Chandler family Bible from grandfather and grandmother Chandler, the graveyard plots from my grandfather Chandler and mother are buried, in Sylacauga, Alabama. A few books from my stepgrandmother, Holloman, and a few of my mother's sister's books. My father's picture album as a boy. My mother's picture album as a girl. My picture album as a boy. A box of assorted pictures. A box of my mother's things, when she was a young girl, including a teddy bear she cut the hair off, thinking it would grow back. My baby clothes. All of my books, stamp collection, records, tapes, paintings, scout badges, trumpet, grandfather clock, my dreams for you, your mother, and other personal things. The things that are left from my parent's lives together and apart, except for the memories which I will try to write down in a separate document called "My Memoirs".

My father had a second married life, much as I did, and just as you have half-brothers and half-sisters, I have a large number of half-brothers and sisters in which in Salem, North Carolina, where my father is buried. I have another notebook full, called "This Is My Working Life", which you might find interesting as to how I spent the forty two years of the working part of my life from high school graduation in 1945 to my retirement in 1987. I have the first and only Scout handbook that belonged to my mother's half-brother, Dr. John James Holloman Jr.. This book started me on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster. More about this in my memoirs. You will get this book as well as all of my Scout books, Scout badges, and my dreams for you as a Boy Scout.
</div>
 

===Sonichu Letter - August 18th, 2008===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
August 18th, 2008

Dear Christian,

At this time in life, you and Sonichu need a quest and purpose in life. Let Sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere, and continually defeat the perils of autism. Sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons, with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter, or good deeds on the internet. He could become the spokesperson from now on. You and Sonichu could become famous worldwide.
</div>

Bob's Letters To Chris

2017-09-07T01:28:36Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Throughout the latter years of his life, [[Bob]] understood the importance of leaving a positive lasting impression on his son. In an effort to both bond with Chris, encourage him, and share stories of his past, Bob had left several letters to Chris, in hopes of reaching through to him. Chris revealed the contents of these letters during a [[CLog 09042017 - Mister C|live Captain's Log]] in September 2017.

In the longer, more personal letter, Bob puts an absurd amount of focus on his material possessions, collections, and achievements, only mentioning Chris in relation to him inheriting his material possessions. The other letter details Bob's ideal direction as to what [[Sonichu]] should be like. In the video in which Chris read it, Chris mockingly scoffs at his father's suggestion, looking visibly embarrassed.

===Open Letter - December 26th, 1987===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
To Christopher Weston Chandler, from your Daddy. Started December 26th, 1987.

The reason for this open letter to you which will grow as time goes on, is that I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you. Particularly to share my things, my dreams, and my thoughts with you at a time in the future when you will be able to understand, remember to use my things and carry on my dreams if you want to. Hopefully you will grow much older together. I will probably be rambling until I drive you to distraction, but just bear with me, because I will get to the point sooner or later. I hope I have been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college, and for your mother, until she joins me at the great sing-a-long in the sky, or wherever. Anyway, I expect you to take care of her, love her, and never disappoint her for as long as she lives. I also expect you to never disappoint me, because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough, and you need me. Since everything always seems to happen for the best for me, and when I needed it, I have always felt like my mother was my guardian angel. You look exactly like my mother and I.

I didn't plan my life. I just took it as it came along. I seem to have had no control over it. It always came along with what was right for me. Look at me eight years ago in 1979. When I was really down and out, no friendship from Alan and Carol, and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems that I didn't even know about. Your mother, Barbara Ann, helped me through the rough spots and together we had you. Now, I really had something to live for. No better things or events could have happened to me. We have come a long way in the last eight years. Together, we have built a whole new life with an exciting set of dreams. I also expect you to never disappoint yourself. If you think you are ??? at something you are trying to do, just stand back, and if it is meant to be, an answer or break will appear. Just remember, there are many sides to a mountain and many ways to climb it. If you get stopped, back off, regroup, and try another way. If you are still not successful, maybe it is not meant to be. Accept is as experience and go after something else for a while. If it is meant to be, having it on the backburner simmering for a while is not bad. It will pop up again, and the way to attain it will be there. Everything in its time. Your mother and I have done our best for you, and in return we expect at least that from you, for yourself, and your children.

I will be talking about a lot of things in no particular order. I won't always spell words right, or have the best sentence structure, but then, I am an electrical engineer, not an English major. As a matter of fact, English was my worst subject. I am going to try to write this just as if I'm talking to you face-to-face, any time you care to read this. All of the physical objects and things I have, we'll talk about. Your mother, Barbara, or your Aunt Harriet will keep for you until you are ready for them. If you don't think you will ever need some of them, or don't want some of them, don't waste them. Try to do something with them that you and your mother think I would do. Recycle them back into the world, for the world to use. After all, remember we are only the custodians for a while, and what is one man's junk is another man's treasure. Okay, so here I go. Enough of the preamble. If you are still with me, turn the page.

Well, Christopher, one of my actions that I regret most when I was a young man, sometimes in the late 1940s, I think, I was entrusted with my grandfather's straight razor by means of his last will and testament, and I carelessly misused it and broke it by trying to use it as a screwdriver. I found out later that my grandfather Holloman had specifically wanted me to have it, because it had been very personal to him, and he wanted me to have something of his that had been very personal to him. Something that he had used every day. Well, I still have that broken razor of his, and I still carry the burden of carelessly, with no concern, breaking it. I knew that I would never use it to shave with, but it was my one personal bond with him, and I still feel like I betrayed his trust by carelessly and thoughtlessly misusing it and breaking it. Maybe that razor did have a purpose greater than anything my grandfather and I ever dreamed of, for it is because of my careless ??? of my grandfather's razor that I am writing this open letter to you. I hope that you will not carelessly misuse, waste or destroy the value of the many things I have collected for you. Do not be in such a hurry to use, play, or work with these things. First, learn all about them, how to use them and enjoy them, their value, and how you can thoughtlessly waste their value, then enjoy them as I have. For example, my very good stamp collection, or all the recorded popular music on cassette tape, VCR tapes and records. The oil paintings, United Nations art graphics, first of the issue covers, first LIFE covers, the complete set of the very valuable wrong first day issues of the United Nations covers. The musical movies I have collected for you on VCR tapes. My books on popular music, movies, entertainers, musical theater. Ship models, my day lilies, gazebo, and dreams.

As a boy, my greatest dream was to have inherited things from my mother, father, grandparents, etc. But alas, they were poor, and we were poor, and the things that we and they had didn't stay around long. I am a collector of things, even more than your mother. And as a boy, I always wished I had a stamp collection, or coin collection, or book collection, in a large old house from my grandparents. Well, I did end up with a few things which you will get from me. I have the Chandler family Bible from grandfather and grandmother Chandler, the graveyard plots from my grandfather Chandler and mother are buried, in Sylacauga, Alabama. A few books from my stepgrandmother, Holloman, and a few of my mother's sister's books. My father's picture album as a boy. My mother's picture album as a girl. My picture album as a boy. A box of assorted pictures. A box of my mother's things, when she was a young girl, including a teddy bear she cut the hair off, thinking it would grow back. My baby clothes. All of my books, stamp collection, records, tapes, paintings, scout badges, trumpet, grandfather clock, my dreams for you, your mother, and other personal things. The things that are left from my parent's lives together and apart, except for the memories which I will try to write down in a separate document called "My Memoirs".

My father had a second married life, much as I did, and just as you have half-brothers and half-sisters, I have a large number of half-brothers and sisters in which in Salem, North Carolina, where my father is buried. I have another notebook full, called "This Is My Working Life", which you might find interesting as to how I spent the forty two years of the working part of my life from high school graduation in 1945 to my retirement in 1987. I have the first and only Scout handbook that belonged to my mother's half-brother, Dr. John James Holloman Jr.. This book started me on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster. More about this in my memoirs. You will get this book as well as all of my Scout books, Scout badges, and my dreams for you as a Boy Scout.
</div>
 

===Sonichu Letter - August 18th, 2008===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
August 18th, 2008

Dear Christian,

At this time in life, you and Sonichu need a quest and purpose in life. Let Sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere, and continually defeat the perils of autism. Sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons, with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter, or good deeds on the internet. He could become the spokesperson from now on. You and Sonichu could become famous worldwide.
</div>

Bob's Letters To Chris

2017-09-07T01:23:34Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Throughout the latter years of his life, [[Bob]] understood the importance of leaving a positive lasting impression on his son. In an effort to both bond with Chris, encourage him, and share stories of his past, Bob had left several letters to Chris, in hopes of reaching through to him. Chris revealed the contents of these letters during a [[CLog 09042017 - Mister C|live Captain's Log]] in September 2017.

===Open Letter - December 26th, 1987===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
To Christopher Weston Chandler, from your Daddy. Started December 26th, 1987.

The reason for this open letter to you which will grow as time goes on, is that I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you. Particularly to share my things, my dreams, and my thoughts with you at a time in the future when you will be able to understand, remember to use my things and carry on my dreams if you want to. Hopefully you will grow much older together. I will probably be rambling until I drive you to distraction, but just bear with me, because I will get to the point sooner or later. I hope I have been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college, and for your mother, until she joins me at the great sing-a-long in the sky, or wherever. Anyway, I expect you to take care of her, love her, and never disappoint her for as long as she lives. I also expect you to never disappoint me, because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough, and you need me. Since everything always seems to happen for the best for me, and when I needed it, I have always felt like my mother was my guardian angel. You look exactly like my mother and I.

I didn't plan my life. I just took it as it came along. I seem to have had no control over it. It always came along with what was right for me. Look at me eight years ago in 1979. When I was really down and out, no friendship from Alan and Carol, and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems that I didn't even know about. Your mother, Barbara Ann, helped me through the rough spots and together we had you. Now, I really had something to live for. No better things or events could have happened to me. We have come a long way in the last eight years. Together, we have built a whole new life with an exciting set of dreams. I also expect you to never disappoint yourself. If you think you are ??? at something you are trying to do, just stand back, and if it is meant to be, an answer or break will appear. Just remember, there are many sides to a mountain and many ways to climb it. If you get stopped, back off, regroup, and try another way. If you are still not successful, maybe it is not meant to be. Accept is as experience and go after something else for a while. If it is meant to be, having it on the backburner simmering for a while is not bad. It will pop up again, and the way to attain it will be there. Everything in its time. Your mother and I have done our best for you, and in return we expect at least that from you, for yourself, and your children.

I will be talking about a lot of things in no particular order. I won't always spell words right, or have the best sentence structure, but then, I am an electrical engineer, not an English major. As a matter of fact, English was my worst subject. I am going to try to write this just as if I'm talking to you face-to-face, any time you care to read this. All of the physical objects and things I have, we'll talk about. Your mother, Barbara, or your Aunt Harriet will keep for you until you are ready for them. If you don't think you will ever need some of them, or don't want some of them, don't waste them. Try to do something with them that you and your mother think I would do. Recycle them back into the world, for the world to use. After all, remember we are only the custodians for a while, and what is one man's junk is another man's treasure. Okay, so here I go. Enough of the preamble. If you are still with me, turn the page.

Well, Christopher, one of my actions that I regret most when I was a young man, sometimes in the late 1940s, I think, I was entrusted with my grandfather's straight razor by means of his last will and testament, and I carelessly misused it and broke it by trying to use it as a screwdriver. I found out later that my grandfather Holloman had specifically wanted me to have it, because it had been very personal to him, and he wanted me to have something of his that had been very personal to him. Something that he had used every day. Well, I still have that broken razor of his, and I still carry the burden of carelessly, with no concern, breaking it. I knew that I would never use it to shave with, but it was my one personal bond with him, and I still feel like I betrayed his trust by carelessly and thoughtlessly misusing it and breaking it. Maybe that razor did have a purpose greater than anything my grandfather and I ever dreamed of, for it is because of my careless ??? of my grandfather's razor that I am writing this open letter to you. I hope that you will not carelessly misuse, waste or destroy the value of the many things I have collected for you. Do not be in such a hurry to use, play, or work with these things. First, learn all about them, how to use them and enjoy them, their value, and how you can thoughtlessly waste their value, then enjoy them as I have. For example, my very good stamp collection, or all the recorded popular music on cassette tape, VCR tapes and records. The oil paintings, United Nations art graphics, first of the issue covers, first LIFE covers, the complete set of the very valuable wrong first day issues of the United Nations covers. The musical movies I have collected for you on VCR tapes. My books on popular music, movies, entertainers, musical theater. Ship models, my day lilies, gazebo, and dreams.

As a boy, my greatest dream was to have inherited things from my mother, father, grandparents, etc. But alas, they were poor, and we were poor, and the things that we and they had didn't stay around long. I am a collector of things, even more than your mother. And as a boy, I always wished I had a stamp collection, or coin collection, or book collection, in a large old house from my grandparents. Well, I did end up with a few things which you will get from me. I have the Chandler family Bible from grandfather and grandmother Chandler, the graveyard plots from my grandfather Chandler and mother are buried, in Sylacauga, Alabama. A few books from my stepgrandmother, Holloman, and a few of my mother's sister's books. My father's picture album as a boy. My mother's picture album as a girl. My picture album as a boy. A box of assorted pictures. A box of my mother's things, when she was a young girl, including a teddy bear she cut the hair off, thinking it would grow back. My baby clothes. All of my books, stamp collection, records, tapes, paintings, scout badges, trumpet, grandfather clock, my dreams for you, your mother, and other personal things. The things that are left from my parent's lives together and apart, except for the memories which I will try to write down in a separate document called "My Memoirs".

My father had a second married life, much as I did, and just as you have half-brothers and half-sisters, I have a large number of half-brothers and sisters in which in Salem, North Carolina, where my father is buried. I have another notebook full, called "This Is My Working Life", which you might find interesting as to how I spent the forty two years of the working part of my life from high school graduation in 1945 to my retirement in 1987. I have the first and only Scout handbook that belonged to my mother's half-brother, Dr. John James Holloman Jr.. This book started me on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster. More about this in my memoirs. You will get this book as well as all of my Scout books, Scout badges, and my dreams for you as a Boy Scout.
</div>
 

===Sonichu Letter - August 18th, 2008===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
August 18th, 2008

Dear Christian,

At this time in life, you and Sonichu need a quest and purpose in life. Let Sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere, and continually defeat the perils of autism. Sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons, with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter, or good deeds on the internet. He could become the spokesperson from now on. You and Sonichu could become famous worldwide.
</div>

Bob's Letters To Chris

2017-09-07T01:22:08Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Throughout the latter years of his life, [[Bob]] understood the importance of leaving a positive lasting impression on his son. In an effort to both bond with Chris, encourage him, and share stories of his past, Bob had left several letters to Chris, in hopes of reaching through to him. Chris revealed the contents of these letters during a [[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/CLog_09042017_-_Mister_C|live Captain's Log]] in September 2017.

===Open Letter - December 26th, 1987===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
To Christopher Weston Chandler, from your Daddy. Started December 26th, 1987.

The reason for this open letter to you which will grow as time goes on, is that I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you. Particularly to share my things, my dreams, and my thoughts with you at a time in the future when you will be able to understand, remember to use my things and carry on my dreams if you want to. Hopefully you will grow much older together. I will probably be rambling until I drive you to distraction, but just bear with me, because I will get to the point sooner or later. I hope I have been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college, and for your mother, until she joins me at the great sing-a-long in the sky, or wherever. Anyway, I expect you to take care of her, love her, and never disappoint her for as long as she lives. I also expect you to never disappoint me, because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough, and you need me. Since everything always seems to happen for the best for me, and when I needed it, I have always felt like my mother was my guardian angel. You look exactly like my mother and I.

I didn't plan my life. I just took it as it came along. I seem to have had no control over it. It always came along with what was right for me. Look at me eight years ago in 1979. When I was really down and out, no friendship from Alan and Carol, and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems that I didn't even know about. Your mother, Barbara Ann, helped me through the rough spots and together we had you. Now, I really had something to live for. No better things or events could have happened to me. We have come a long way in the last eight years. Together, we have built a whole new life with an exciting set of dreams. I also expect you to never disappoint yourself. If you think you are ??? at something you are trying to do, just stand back, and if it is meant to be, an answer or break will appear. Just remember, there are many sides to a mountain and many ways to climb it. If you get stopped, back off, regroup, and try another way. If you are still not successful, maybe it is not meant to be. Accept is as experience and go after something else for a while. If it is meant to be, having it on the backburner simmering for a while is not bad. It will pop up again, and the way to attain it will be there. Everything in its time. Your mother and I have done our best for you, and in return we expect at least that from you, for yourself, and your children.

I will be talking about a lot of things in no particular order. I won't always spell words right, or have the best sentence structure, but then, I am an electrical engineer, not an English major. As a matter of fact, English was my worst subject. I am going to try to write this just as if I'm talking to you face-to-face, any time you care to read this. All of the physical objects and things I have, we'll talk about. Your mother, Barbara, or your Aunt Harriet will keep for you until you are ready for them. If you don't think you will ever need some of them, or don't want some of them, don't waste them. Try to do something with them that you and your mother think I would do. Recycle them back into the world, for the world to use. After all, remember we are only the custodians for a while, and what is one man's junk is another man's treasure. Okay, so here I go. Enough of the preamble. If you are still with me, turn the page.

Well, Christopher, one of my actions that I regret most when I was a young man, sometimes in the late 1940s, I think, I was entrusted with my grandfather's straight razor by means of his last will and testament, and I carelessly misused it and broke it by trying to use it as a screwdriver. I found out later that my grandfather Holloman had specifically wanted me to have it, because it had been very personal to him, and he wanted me to have something of his that had been very personal to him. Something that he had used every day. Well, I still have that broken razor of his, and I still carry the burden of carelessly, with no concern, breaking it. I knew that I would never use it to shave with, but it was my one personal bond with him, and I still feel like I betrayed his trust by carelessly and thoughtlessly misusing it and breaking it. Maybe that razor did have a purpose greater than anything my grandfather and I ever dreamed of, for it is because of my careless ??? of my grandfather's razor that I am writing this open letter to you. I hope that you will not carelessly misuse, waste or destroy the value of the many things I have collected for you. Do not be in such a hurry to use, play, or work with these things. First, learn all about them, how to use them and enjoy them, their value, and how you can thoughtlessly waste their value, then enjoy them as I have. For example, my very good stamp collection, or all the recorded popular music on cassette tape, VCR tapes and records. The oil paintings, United Nations art graphics, first of the issue covers, first LIFE covers, the complete set of the very valuable wrong first day issues of the United Nations covers. The musical movies I have collected for you on VCR tapes. My books on popular music, movies, entertainers, musical theater. Ship models, my day lilies, gazebo, and dreams.

As a boy, my greatest dream was to have inherited things from my mother, father, grandparents, etc. But alas, they were poor, and we were poor, and the things that we and they had didn't stay around long. I am a collector of things, even more than your mother. And as a boy, I always wished I had a stamp collection, or coin collection, or book collection, in a large old house from my grandparents. Well, I did end up with a few things which you will get from me. I have the Chandler family Bible from grandfather and grandmother Chandler, the graveyard plots from my grandfather Chandler and mother are buried, in Sylacauga, Alabama. A few books from my stepgrandmother, Holloman, and a few of my mother's sister's books. My father's picture album as a boy. My mother's picture album as a girl. My picture album as a boy. A box of assorted pictures. A box of my mother's things, when she was a young girl, including a teddy bear she cut the hair off, thinking it would grow back. My baby clothes. All of my books, stamp collection, records, tapes, paintings, scout badges, trumpet, grandfather clock, my dreams for you, your mother, and other personal things. The things that are left from my parent's lives together and apart, except for the memories which I will try to write down in a separate document called "My Memoirs".

My father had a second married life, much as I did, and just as you have half-brothers and half-sisters, I have a large number of half-brothers and sisters in which in Salem, North Carolina, where my father is buried. I have another notebook full, called "This Is My Working Life", which you might find interesting as to how I spent the forty two years of the working part of my life from high school graduation in 1945 to my retirement in 1987. I have the first and only Scout handbook that belonged to my mother's half-brother, Dr. John James Holloman Jr.. This book started me on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster. More about this in my memoirs. You will get this book as well as all of my Scout books, Scout badges, and my dreams for you as a Boy Scout.
</div>
 

===Sonichu Letter - August 18th, 2008===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
August 18th, 2008

Dear Christian,

At this time in life, you and Sonichu need a quest and purpose in life. Let Sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere, and continually defeat the perils of autism. Sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons, with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter, or good deeds on the internet. He could become the spokesperson from now on. You and Sonichu could become famous worldwide.
</div>

Bob's Letters To Chris

2017-09-07T01:16:00Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

===Open Letter - December 26th, 1987===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
To Christopher Weston Chandler, from your Daddy. Started December 26th, 1987.

The reason for this open letter to you which will grow as time goes on, is that I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you. Particularly to share my things, my dreams, and my thoughts with you at a time in the future when you will be able to understand, remember to use my things and carry on my dreams if you want to. Hopefully you will grow much older together. I will probably be rambling until I drive you to distraction, but just bear with me, because I will get to the point sooner or later. I hope I have been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college, and for your mother, until she joins me at the great sing-a-long in the sky, or wherever. Anyway, I expect you to take care of her, love her, and never disappoint her for as long as she lives. I also expect you to never disappoint me, because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough, and you need me. Since everything always seems to happen for the best for me, and when I needed it, I have always felt like my mother was my guardian angel. You look exactly like my mother and I.

I didn't plan my life. I just took it as it came along. I seem to have had no control over it. It always came along with what was right for me. Look at me eight years ago in 1979. When I was really down and out, no friendship from Alan and Carol, and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems that I didn't even know about. Your mother, Barbara Ann, helped me through the rough spots and together we had you. Now, I really had something to live for. No better things or events could have happened to me. We have come a long way in the last eight years. Together, we have built a whole new life with an exciting set of dreams. I also expect you to never disappoint yourself. If you think you are ??? at something you are trying to do, just stand back, and if it is meant to be, an answer or break will appear. Just remember, there are many sides to a mountain and many ways to climb it. If you get stopped, back off, regroup, and try another way. If you are still not successful, maybe it is not meant to be. Accept is as experience and go after something else for a while. If it is meant to be, having it on the backburner simmering for a while is not bad. It will pop up again, and the way to attain it will be there. Everything in its time. Your mother and I have done our best for you, and in return we expect at least that from you, for yourself, and your children.

I will be talking about a lot of things in no particular order. I won't always spell words right, or have the best sentence structure, but then, I am an electrical engineer, not an English major. As a matter of fact, English was my worst subject. I am going to try to write this just as if I'm talking to you face-to-face, any time you care to read this. All of the physical objects and things I have, we'll talk about. Your mother, Barbara, or your Aunt Harriet will keep for you until you are ready for them. If you don't think you will ever need some of them, or don't want some of them, don't waste them. Try to do something with them that you and your mother think I would do. Recycle them back into the world, for the world to use. After all, remember we are only the custodians for a while, and what is one man's junk is another man's treasure. Okay, so here I go. Enough of the preamble. If you are still with me, turn the page.

Well, Christopher, one of my actions that I regret most when I was a young man, sometimes in the late 1940s, I think, I was entrusted with my grandfather's straight razor by means of his last will and testament, and I carelessly misused it and broke it by trying to use it as a screwdriver. I found out later that my grandfather Holloman had specifically wanted me to have it, because it had been very personal to him, and he wanted me to have something of his that had been very personal to him. Something that he had used every day. Well, I still have that broken razor of his, and I still carry the burden of carelessly, with no concern, breaking it. I knew that I would never use it to shave with, but it was my one personal bond with him, and I still feel like I betrayed his trust by carelessly and thoughtlessly misusing it and breaking it. Maybe that razor did have a purpose greater than anything my grandfather and I ever dreamed of, for it is because of my careless ??? of my grandfather's razor that I am writing this open letter to you. I hope that you will not carelessly misuse, waste or destroy the value of the many things I have collected for you. Do not be in such a hurry to use, play, or work with these things. First, learn all about them, how to use them and enjoy them, their value, and how you can thoughtlessly waste their value, then enjoy them as I have. For example, my very good stamp collection, or all the recorded popular music on cassette tape, VCR tapes and records. The oil paintings, United Nations art graphics, first of the issue covers, first LIFE covers, the complete set of the very valuable wrong first day issues of the United Nations covers. The musical movies I have collected for you on VCR tapes. My books on popular music, movies, entertainers, musical theater. Ship models, my day lilies, gazebo, and dreams.

As a boy, my greatest dream was to have inherited things from my mother, father, grandparents, etc. But alas, they were poor, and we were poor, and the things that we and they had didn't stay around long. I am a collector of things, even more than your mother. And as a boy, I always wished I had a stamp collection, or coin collection, or book collection, in a large old house from my grandparents. Well, I did end up with a few things which you will get from me. I have the Chandler family Bible from grandfather and grandmother Chandler, the graveyard plots from my grandfather Chandler and mother are buried, in Sylacauga, Alabama. A few books from my stepgrandmother, Holloman, and a few of my mother's sister's books. My father's picture album as a boy. My mother's picture album as a girl. My picture album as a boy. A box of assorted pictures. A box of my mother's things, when she was a young girl, including a teddy bear she cut the hair off, thinking it would grow back. My baby clothes. All of my books, stamp collection, records, tapes, paintings, scout badges, trumpet, grandfather clock, my dreams for you, your mother, and other personal things. The things that are left from my parent's lives together and apart, except for the memories which I will try to write down in a separate document called "My Memoirs".

My father had a second married life, much as I did, and just as you have half-brothers and half-sisters, I have a large number of half-brothers and sisters in which in Salem, North Carolina, where my father is buried. I have another notebook full, called "This Is My Working Life", which you might find interesting as to how I spent the forty two years of the working part of my life from high school graduation in 1945 to my retirement in 1987. I have the first and only Scout handbook that belonged to my mother's half-brother, Dr. John James Holloman Jr.. This book started me on the road to becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster. More about this in my memoirs. You will get this book as well as all of my Scout books, Scout badges, and my dreams for you as a Boy Scout.
</div>
 

===Sonichu Letter - August 18th, 2008===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
August 18th, 2008

Dear Christian,

At this time in life, you and Sonichu need a quest and purpose in life. Let Sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere, and continually defeat the perils of autism. Sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons, with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter, or good deeds on the internet. He could become the spokesperson from now on. You and Sonichu could become famous worldwide.
</div>

June 2015

2015-06-11T13:54:48Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{{Ongoing}}
{{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.|Chris being mocked by [[Sonic the Hedgehog|his hero]] on [[Twitter]]}}
[[File:CallMeChristine.jpg|thumb|right|On '''7 June 2015''', Chris advises you call him Chris''tine''.]]

'''June''' is the 6th month of '''[[2015]]'''. [[Chris]]'s ''next'' court date will take place on 11 June. This month commences the start of summer, which Chris'll most likely spend playing [[vidya]] and loitering at the [[Impulse Gay Social-Club]], provided that he doesn't get sentenced.

==Events of June==
* 3 June - Chris once again pesters his [[fans]] on [[Facebook]] to get [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] into ''Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and [[Nintendo]] [[3DS]]'', and also announces that he has more [[Sonichu Amiibo]] made.
* 3 June - Chris also shows (once again) his disapproval for ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.
* 4 June - Chris posts a photo to Facebook revealing that a slip of his [[pocket knife]] resulted in a bad cut and a trip to the emergency room.
* 6 June - Chris yet again pesters his [[white knights]] to get Sonichu in ''Super Smash Bros.''
* 7 June - Chris discovers the trend of transwomen making fake ''Vanity Fair'' magazine covers of themselves, and as such does one himself.
* 8 June - Chris changes his [[voicemail]].
* 9 June - The next ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' game is announced. Chris [[Chris and anger|disapproves]] and even [[Death threats|threatens]] [[Sega]] producer [[Omar Woodley]].
* 9 June - Chris shares a link to an article that says social media should stop [[Clyde Cash the kid video|cyberbullying]].
* 9 June - Chris once again shows no apologetic shame for [[26 December 2014]], and purchases a blue-armed Sonic doll [[Chris and money|just to tear its arms off]].
* 10 June - Chris's white knights refuse to help him this time with his hatred of blarms. [[Kim Wilson]] and Mellanie Chafe say that he could just cover the blarms with cream-colored felt, and that attacking people with mace is assault. Kim also mockingly says "Oh wow, where'd you get that plush? Did you steal it?"
* 10 June - [[Sega]] acknowledges Sonichu and Chris's existence for the [[Chris in the media#Sega Acknowledges Sonichu|second time]], and mocks his reaction to [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic having blue arms]].<ref>https://archive.is/eWfjQ</ref>
* 11 June - Chris's fifth court date.
* 21 June - [[Father]]'s Day.
* 30 June - [[Club Nintendo]] will shut down in America.

==References==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}

July 2015

2015-06-11T13:53:59Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''July''' will be the 7th month of '''[[2015]]'''.

==Events of July==
* 23 July - Chris' next court date.

{{Timeline}}

July 2015

2015-06-11T13:53:45Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''July''' will be the 7th month of '''[[2015]]'''.

{{Timeline}}

==Events of July==
* 23 July - Chris' next court date.

Curse-ye-ha-me-ha

2013-08-01T14:41:58Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

[[Image:Cwcyehameha crop.gif|center|CURSE YE HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]
{{RageQuote|CURSE-YE-HA-ME- HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}}

{{Quote|When cursing, I feel enraged or really angry; I channel that energy between my hands, gathering them in and throwing them towards either the target I'm angry at, or the ground or skyward; a choice of words are optional, but they do seem to add more oomph to the attack.|Chris<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 6#16 August 2009]]</ref>}}

[[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]

The '''Curse-ye-ha-me-ha''', also referred to as '''Shin-ye-ha-me-ha''', is the [[Autism|special]] finishing move of doom used by [[Chris]] when battling [[jerkop|jerkops]], [[manajerks]], [[trolls]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

It is performed exactly the same way as the famed Kamehameha maneuver used in the [[anime]] series ''Dragon Ball'' and ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': by doing silly choreographed poses and slowly yelling the name of a famous [[Surfshack Tito|Hawaiʻian]] [[Wikipedia:Kamehameha|king]]. It's also possible that Chris was inspired by a scene in ''[[Excel Saga]]'', where the characters at one point perform a "Nabehameha"; a parody of the Kamehameha named after the series director, Shinichi "Nabeshin" Watanabe. If not directly inspired by ''Excel Saga'', it likely at least caused Chris to think of deriving his own version of the famous attack.

And yes, Chris has done this in public...

==Execution and effect==
In keeping with the [[Dragon Ball Z|Kamehameha]] maneuver he stole it from, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha must be delivered slowly, with each syllable deliberately pronounced as the user summons his chi, finally ending with the last "ha!" and a blast of power followed by peace for the [[trolls|troll]], [[jerkop]] or [[manajerks|manajerk]]. For optimal results, say it like [[User:Dethchemist77|the new narrator]] says it.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQfYyY24aCo#t=4m08s Sonichu - Subepisode 3! The Audiobook! Christian Chandler and Sonichu in "Witch Confront!"]</ref>

When desired, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha can act as a standard energy blast to vaporize enemies. However, in other situations, the attack has no immediately apparent effects. Therein lies the "curse"—the attacker has subtly hexed the victim, guaranteeing that he will soon suffer unbearable misfortune.

While negotiating the production of [[Sonichu]] [[video games]] with [[Nintendo]], [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] informed Chris that "curse" is considered offensive in Japanese culture, and so all references to the spell have been changed to "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha." By [[August 2009]] Chris had become more willing to revert to the original name when sufficiently angry.

A less theatrical version of the move, the '''Curse Shot''', is delivered by simply holding out one's hand in the shape of a gun and miming the act of shooting the target. This achieves the same sort of ominous misfortune without requiring several minutes of preparation, which is handy if you're running away from mall security. This may or may not be inspired by "YuYu Hakusho", another anime series that aired on Cartoon Network, where the main character's signature attack was a similar move known as the "Spirit Gun". On a few occasions, he has performed a variation on this theme using his [[Megatron pistol]].

==Purpose==
Aside from creating the impression that Chris has [[Chris and religion|delusions of godhood]], the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha allows him to feel some sense of control over his world. Chris is too weak, stupid, and cowardly to directly act against those who give him [[stress]], but his curses require no effort from him except his own faith in their power. As long as it is impossible to prove the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha has no effect, Chris can allow himself to believe the universe will ultimately destroy his enemies, giving him a sense of triumph.

==Yes, he actually does this in public==
{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Chris<ref>From the 22 June 2005 entry in [[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}

In addition to his performance of the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at [[Wal-Mart]], key slanderous trolls have revealed that Chris performed the curse live and in person in the office of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], resulting in his suspension from [[PVCC]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> A documented performance of this attack has been recorded and it is shown in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|this]] video.

==Yes, he actually thinks this works==
In [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]], when asked if he thinks his powers actually work, Chris commented:

{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one [[Clyde Cash|specific Troll]] (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[wikipedia:common cold|life-threatening ailment]].|Chris, 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET), [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}

[[Chris and reality|Chris actually believes he has magic powers to curse people.]] Chris, as usual, fails, this time with confusing correlation and causation - just because Mary Lee Walsh's reputation went down (even if we take Chris's biased view of Ms. Walsh at face value), it does not necessarily follow that it's a result of a curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. This appears to stem from his inflated sense of self-importance: because he sees himself as an innocent man, he seems to believe that [[GodJesus|God]] has granted him magical powers with which to curse those who dare wrong him, a good example of his detachment from [[Chris and reality|reality]].

The following excerpt from the [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|Katie Bay e-mails]] describes his process of emitting a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha:

{{quote|I have learned from my experiences that a CURSE or a BLESSING shot is mainly comprised of the respective Enraged or Caring you are currently feeling. I DO NOT ENCOURAGE YOU DO THIS, but I will tell you for your information. When cursing, I feel enraged or really angry; I channel that energy between my hands, gathering them in and throwing them towards either the target I'm angry at, or the ground or skyward; a choice of words are optional, but they do seem to add more oomph to the attack.|Chris, on summoning metaphysical energy.}}

It must be reiterated that Chris actually thinks this works.

==Known victims==
In the comics, Chris applies the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to Mary Lee Walsh and to the [[Jerkhief]], and these stories may reflect the two known public instances, or separate incidents, or purely wishful thinking. The curse seems to have had no effect on Walsh, even in fiction; after being seemingly atomized in [[Sub-Episode 3]], she simply returned none the worse for wear.

On 15 [[January 2009]], Chris delivered a Shin-ye-ha-me-ha [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|via YouTube]] to every troll who has contributed to his [[ED]] page and to [[4chan]].

[[Liquid Chris]], the dreaded brown-striped impostor, was on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in a [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|14 August 2009 video]]. His subsequent [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009|disappearance]] was attributed by Solid to the extreme bad luck which resulted from the curse.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 6#15 August 2009]]</ref>

However, on 16 [[August 2009]] Chris elected to lift the curses he had previously unleashed, and performed the "Forgiveness Blessings" in a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|video]] to demonstrate his grace. During this retraction Chris claimed to have used the Curse Shot on over fifty men during his [[Love Quest]]. Later on during the same day, Chris would also [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|specifically retract]] the curse placed upon Liquid.

Due to the production of [[Audiobook]] DVDs, Chris has cursed [[Vivian Gee]] and anyone involved with the project.

On 1 [[February 2010]], Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|cursed Mao Ling]], operator of the [[Asperpedia]], in response to a series of offensive advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]. He was later coerced into delivering an [[Chris and Remorse|insincere forgiveness blessing]].

On 2 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Surfshack Tito (video)|performed a Curse Shot]] on [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] in response to his [[PSN]] account being hacked [[BlueSpike|yet]] [[Jack Thaddeus#PSN Hax|again]]. [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|This comes after Chris said that cursing people was evil, and that he would atone for it.]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|Hypocrite.]]

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Super Saiyan Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oWO-v9V3dE4}}
| stardate = 28 [[May 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CWCGundam CWCGundam]
| subject = | type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = INFINITE RAGE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|99nZKlLLCWM}}
| stardate = 19 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| subject = | type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Virgin with Rage]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WWmRqsQ6JJ4}}
| stardate = 12 [[December 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IRAwEsOmE IRAwEsOmE]
| subject = | type = }}

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]]
*[[Excel Saga]]
*[[Dragonball Z]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Love Quest]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Special Attacks]]

Template:Relics of Fail

2013-05-24T17:03:02Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{{Navbox
|name = Relics of Fail
|title = [[Relics of Fail]]
|group1 = Major Relics
|list1 = [[Amnyfest Ring]] • [[Attraction Sign]] • [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC on TV" DVD]] • [[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]] • [[Medallions]] • [[PSEye]] • [[Scrapbook of Fail|Scrapbook]]
|group2 = Minor Relics
|list2 = [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'']] • [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] • [[Pedo-Glasses]] • [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] • [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] • [[Son-Chu]] • [[Muscle bra]]

|group3 = Lesser Relics
|list3 = [[Belt Buckle of Fail|Belt buckle]] • [[Clown Doll]] • [[Idea Book Case|iDea Book Case]] [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|Drinking Straw]] • [[Li'l Chris]] • [[Megatron pistol]] • [[Plush Breasts|Plush boobs]] • [[Wii Remote of Fail]] • [[Pocket knife]] • [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalker]] • [[PS Move of Fail|PS Move]] • [[PlayStation Vita|PS Vita]]

|group4 = Shrines of Fail
|list4 = [[The Wall of Originals]] ([[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|list]]) • [[Megan Shrine|The Megan Shrine]]

|group5 = The Holy Fails
|list5 = [[Autism papers]] • [[Honor Roll|Transcripts and report cards]]
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[Relics of Fail]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]

</noinclude>

Idea Book Case

2013-05-24T17:01:59Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|thumb|Think Different. [[Autism|No, really]].]]

'''Christian Chandler's iDea Book Case''' is a recent [[Relic of Fail]] crafted in [[May 2012]] to house Chris's slew of iOS products for, in his words, business and entertainment. The case was invented when Chris found himself having too many iOS products, and needed a place to put his iPhone, a (broken) iPod touch, and another iPod touch seen off-camera.

==The Unveil==

Likened to the late Steve Jobs himself, Chris took it upon himself to unveil his latest creation via [[Facebook]] in this status update:

{{quote|"Necessity is the mother of Invention". I am glad I crafted the idea for my iDea Book Case (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, [[Lies|business]] and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in [[Tomgirl Pictures|my bosom]].}}

==Appearance==

The iDea Book Case is astonishingly one of the more clever concepts Chris has come up with, despite the build quality being poor and gaudy as usual. The iDea Book Case is a rather large carrying case that can house any two iOS products released before 2012. It opens up like a book (and closes via Velcro), revealing two products on both sides, with a small loop in the center for storing a related accessory. To provide shock absorbing, the iDea Book Case is made primarily out of bubble wrap, then wrapped (excessively) with duct tape to provide a smoother finish. To top it off with lawsuit bait, Chris slapped on a poorly centered and positioned Apple sticker.

One strange feature of the iDea Book Case is that it has large holes cut out for each camera, an odd addition considering how hard the case is to use. Much like his DSi, there's a great chance that Chris could be very well taking advantage of having two devices at once, snapping candid pictures and videos of attractive women he sees.

== Pictures ==
<center>{{Collapsible|Pictures|<gallery>
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|Designed by Jony Ive himself.
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|Well, at least none of the letters are backwards.
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|Chris's mobile command post.
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|Even his iDevices aren't safe from custom [[Sonichu]] skins.
</gallery>}}
</center>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Relics of Fail

2013-05-24T17:00:36Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{{protip|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Cool, just see if it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}

The '''Relics of Fail''' are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on.

== The Major Relics ==

[[Image:Chrischan sonichu medal.jpg|thumb|[[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion, Mark 1]]]]

* [[Amnyfest Ring]] - Since the Sonichu medallions were stolen, Chris has claimed this [[autistic|mysteriously]]-named high school ring is the TRUE source of his power.
* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh|most were destroyed]]. Most recently seen being used at [[Fridays After Five]].
* [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC on TV'' DVD]] - A DVD composed of many home videos among other things, such as his [[Song of Christian]].
* [[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]] - Apparently convinced this counts as a real guitar, Chris is often seen with his beloved ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller in attempts to look cool. It invariably has the opposite effect.
* [[Medallions of Fail|Medallions]] - Hunks of Crayola-brand modeling clay fashioned into the shape of Sonichu's head, among other characters' heads. Once believed by trolls to be the source of his power, they were swiftly corrected, and now Chris shows off his Amnyfest Ring to show that his videos are true and honest.
* [[PS3]] - Chris's life upgrade and the biggest drain on his [[Monthly Tugboat]]. Chris is now on to his [[The MovingForward videos|second PS3]].
* [[PSEye]] - The window through which trolls can catch glimpses of Chris and his day-to-day life.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail|Scrapbook]] - A three-ring binder containing all of Chris's comic pages and other drawings.
* [[Patti Chandler|Patti's corpse and doghouse]] - Chris's beloved dog who is buried in the Chandlers backyard under her doghouse.
* [[Hair|Locks of Chris's hair]] - Probably the only Relic to have been obtained by trolls which actually comes from Chris's own body.
* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Virgin with rage#No longer a virgin (No word on the rage)|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.

== The Minor Relics ==

[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|[[Son-Chu]]]]

* [[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'']] - A lengthy issue of ''Nintendo Power'', customized to show Sonic ditching Sega to join [[Nintendo]] and revealing a little bit of what Chris wants in a [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' game.]]
* [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]].
* [[Pedo-Glasses]] - Have you ever noticed how [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and rapists in composite sketches wear these kinds of glasses? Yeah, don't think too hard about that.
* [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] - Yet another vessel for Chris's video game obsession. Chris, in typical fashion, has decorated it with images of his flagship character and his own face.
* [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|''Sailor Moon'' Poster]] - One of many things Chris presumably masturbates to in order to keep himself heterosexual.
* [[Son-Chu]] - Chris's beaten old station wagon, now nearly two years overdue for an oil change. Also appears in the comic as one of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]].
* [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]] - Actually, just a sports bra which Chris sadly wears, thinking that everyone will be turned [[Homos|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.

==The Lesser Relics==

[[Image:TG8.jpg|thumb|[[Plush Breasts|Plush Boobs of Fail]]]]

* [[Anime Wings]] - A pair of women's hairclips that Chris got at [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]. For some reason, Chris felt the need to incorporate them into his comic.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail|Belt Buckle]] - Not a very well-known relic, but nonetheless extremely amusing.
* [[Clown Doll]] - A harmless-looking clown doll, significant in that it often bears the brunt of Chris's fury in his many rage videos.
* [[Fapcup]] - Cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for drinking purposes.
* [[Idea Book Case|iDea Book Case]] - Case "invented" by Chris to store his Apple devices.
* [[Li'l Chris]] - A stuffed bear — not, in fact, Chris's [[duck]].
* [[Megatron pistol|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls|foes]].
* [[Plush Breasts|Plush Boobs of Fail]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.
* [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]] - Like the PSP and ''Guitar Hero'' controller, this poor Wiimote has been decked out in Sonichu colors and was used in Chris's attempts to get [[Miyamoto]] to make him a video game.
* [[Pocket knife|Pocketknife]] - A knife that Chris can't handle at all.
* [[Pokéwalker of Fail]] - A Poké Ball-shaped pedometer originally packaged with the [[Pokémon|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] versions, recolored in the image of one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].
* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, anal beads, penis rings and two fleshlights.
* [[List of toys|Regular children toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.
* [[List of Chris's games|Video games]] and their various consoles - Thousands of dollars have been spent on them, some of it right from the [[Monthly Tugboat|pockets of the American taxpayers]]. Chris sold some of those games and consoles to [[Snooky's Pawn Shop]], where they were later obtained by [[Clyde Cash]].

==Artwork of Fail==
* [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] - Even the simple task of drawing a straight line to depict a drinking straw evades Mr. Weston Chandler.

==The Shrines of Fail==
* [[The Wall of Originals]] - A monument to the wastes of time known as Chris's original ''Pokémon'' cards.
* [[Megan Shrine]] - Chris's display of his disturbing obsession with the one [[Megan|girl]] he thought he truly had a chance at. '''Spoiler Alert:''' He never had a chance and never will.

==The Holy Fails==
{{protip|Procure one of these and upload them to CWCki and you will be a fucking god amongst men.}}
While not traditional relics in such that Chris has emotional value, per say, these are Chris-related relics that are of immense value to trolls but, like the fabled Holy Grail, seem impossible to obtain.

* [[Autism papers|Autism Papers]] - Presumably papers detailing Chris's exact psychological diagnosis. While a psychiatric survey from [[2004]] has been procured, the original papers documenting Chris's diagnosis are currently locked away in a filing cabinet in [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] room.
* '''Transcripts and Report Cards''' - Chris's transcripts and report cards, to verify whether if he was indeed on [[honor roll]] and to what degree his claims about his high school grades are true.

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Template:Da update

2013-05-23T13:15:05Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*21 [[May 2013|May]] - Chris unveils his latest creation, the [[Idea Book Case|iDea Book Case]], via Facebook.
*6 [[May 2013|May]] - More [[Jackie E-mails 24|emails between Chris and Jackie]] are leaked on on the CWCki forums.
*29 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris makes two new [[Facebook|status updates]].
*27 [[April 2013|April]] - A [[Jackie E-mails 24|new email]] from Chris to [[Jackie]] is leaked on the CWCki forums.
*20 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris uploads two [[:File:Haters to the left.jpg|new]] [[:File:Own free bitch.jpg|photos]] of himself to [[Facebook]].
*4 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris claims he has given up on [[The GAMe PLACe]], five years after his first ban.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Idea Book Case

2013-05-23T13:12:45Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: Created page with "No, really.]] '''Christian Chandler's iDea Book Case''' is a recent Relic of Fail crafted in May 2012 to..."

File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg

2013-05-23T13:03:56Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg

2013-05-23T13:03:20Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg

2013-05-23T13:02:55Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg

2013-05-23T13:01:45Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

File:OKC22013.jpeg

2013-02-18T01:22:32Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

CWCki talk:Current events

2013-01-31T19:17:29Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Okay, so what is up with the Jackie thing? Did she dump him? Is she a troll? —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Popanator|Popanator]] ([[User talk:Popanator|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Popanator|contribs]]) 
:Questions of this nature are best asked on [http://hsienko.com/kiki/ Offshore CWCki] or [[IRC]]. If you read the [[Jackie Chat 1|Jackie chatlogs]] you'll learn quite a bit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:26, 22 November 2010 (PST)

== Suggest removal of current events link ==

There have been no current events for like 11 months. do we still need the link in the main menu? [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 12:03, 3 January 2012 (PST)
* ok this current events link is still here and needs to be removed (from the main menu) because there are no current events, otherwise we need some current events. Yeah dawg i like current events so put some current events in my current events so i can be informed while i'm getting informed [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 10:32, 27 January 2012 (PST)
*Supporting this. This page seems completely pointless anyway. It's like a news page, except all the news is old and shorter than most of the Da Update stuff. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 12:23, 27 January 2012 (PST)
:* ok since my revision was reverted, what is the solution to this issue?[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 12:34, 7 February 2012 (PST)
:For reference, adding false entries that don't refer to current events is not the solution. Edits like that are counter-productive as hell and just make you seem more like a troll than a genuine editor. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:37, 7 February 2012 (PST)
::* ok this page is old, unused, out of date, deprecated and obsolete. It has been made obsolete by Da Update and has not been updated in over a year. It is linked from a main navigation spot. Its continued existence makes the entire wiki look bad. Please either remove it or at least make Current Events in the main navigation link to Da Update.Sorry If my concern about the inaccuracy and aging nature of this page are a bother, but i cant make this change myself.
:::*"Da update" has and always been for Chris related updates. The current event page has been for CWCki related updates. I generally have only added stuff to it when something major happens like the launching of a new project or trying to make a significant site change that requires user input (like getting rid of the Fan Works). Given that these sort of things don't happen that much, it's not updated much. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, we only really need to make huge changes when they're needed.
::::I'm not singling you out, but I think some people think we need to constantly update stuff, like it somehow looks bad if we're not constantly updating. I see this especially with Da Update, where people will add really trivial stuff to Da Update just so it's more up to date. People are going to keep coming back here, we're the most reliable source of Chris information out there and people are going to keep coming back no matter what. Similar issue here - just because it's not updated constantly doesn't mean we should get rid of the current events. People are going to check it to see what's new with the CWCki and if there's nothing new going on, so be it. I suppose we could start adding trivial shit like policy changes and all that but I think that's just sorta silly.
::::I also looked at how Wikipedia handles their "Current events" page and it looks like it's current events in general, not Wikipedia related. We could treat it like that, except it'd be stickier given current trends, as we might be doing pages on a quarterly instead of monthly basis like we used to.
::::In any case though, Cogs would have to remove the link, I have no way to change that, at least that I know of. And for the love of God Slimz, sign your fucking posts, you've been warned multiple times, if it happens again you'll get a banning. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:03, 8 February 2012 (PST)
:::::It doesn't require Cogs (I know how to do it), but I don't feel it needs to be removed at this time. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 09:30, 8 February 2012 (PST)
::::Sorry, im hella forgetful about signing posts.. anyway if its not to be removed, it would be noce for it to be at least current in some fashion. Monthly updates are not needed but its been a year. It makes the wiki look like we are not doing anything. I understand the lull in activity on the part of Chris but thats no reason for us to get complacent. In the spirit of "bring me solutions not problems" i would suggest that it be used to post happenings with the wiki. Like recently the images have been getting optimized to PNG, thats something. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 10:06, 8 February 2012 (PST) [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 10:06, 8 February 2012 (PST)
:::***This is still bothering me greatly [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 08:09, 17 February 2012 (PST)
::::::* this page still links to the main menu and has not been updated in a year. thats not current. recent events including chris's return to semi active social networking, and the lemonaid stand could be included. but it seems that the idea of actually updating a section called CURRENT events is not acceptable. that being said, im still all for removing this link all together because there is nothing here that the timeline does not cover [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 11:20, 2 July 2012 (PDT)
:::::::* Wiki events, not Chris events. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 04:44, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
::::::::*Like I said, Wikipedia treats "current events" as current events in the world, not the wiki in general. The problem is that we'd have to change the redirect every month (or quarter) to the current month page, otherwise I'd have a redundant page if we left this here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:29, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
:::::::::*An overhaul isn't necessary. You can edit [[MediaWiki:Sidebar]] to either remove the current events line or change "currentevents-url" to "Template:Da update" (or just redirect the [[CWCki:Current events]] page itself). [[User:Axe|Axe]] 06:27, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::For what it's worth, even if you decide against removing the Current Events line, having a quick sidebar link to Da Update might come in handy for people who enter the site from somewhere other than the front page (e.g. after getting linked to the Duck page through an external site). That way, they wouldn't have to navigate to the front page first in order to see what's new. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 23:24, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::*Im with um.. the guy above me who DID NOT SIGN HIS POST ! ! ! remove current events and link it to da update [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 11:54, 18 July 2012 (PDT)

Talk:Main Page

2013-01-30T15:52:10Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Forums gone....again? */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates. For other questions, please use the [http://cwcki.yuku.com/ CWCki forum].}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==Did you know..==
Some of the "Did you knows" sound really over-opinionated and A-loggy next to the A-log article of the now.

Ex. "...that Chris is a disgusting human being?", "That Chris cannot dance", I also have a personal gripe with, "...that Chris was born on 24 February, the same day the Nazi party was founded?", as it associates CWC with Nazis. [[User:Cleftpalete|Cleftpalete]] 10:18, 16 December 2012 (PST)

==ohinternet==
Should we include a da update about ED and ohinternet considering their past relationship? [[Supersheep|Supersheep]] 23:38, 19 April 2011 (EST)

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

*Ironically, I vote this for today. --[[User:MissMeg|MissMeg]] 15:11, 10 September 2011 (PDT)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

Just rid of the ps3 tracker, it's not even no longer updated. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:41, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
:I found out how to do everything that I didn't understand, but [[User:Freecell/Main Page|what I did with it]] still looks bad. I agree that Da Update should go first (and the quote of the now shouldn't take up so much space and the News/Improvement Project should go higher), but I'm not sure it can be moved without making everything else look bad. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:48, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*I personally would have Da Update be first but Clyde insists that the PSN Tracker is more important. Take your complaints to him.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 20 April 2011 (PDT)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Y<s>eah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow?</s> As of my having written this, it'a back to normal now. Weird. Disregard me I am a buffoon.--[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

==Ha!==
Nice touch for April Fool's [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 07:50, 1 April 2011 (PDT)

[[Random-access humor|IT'S RAINING CHRIS! HALLELUJAH!]] Also, if I may ask, what's the code for this? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:29, 1 April 2011 (PDT)
*note to self, listening to shpongle and watching the spinning heads here is seriously a bad idea! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:43, 1 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
*When are we gonna get these removed now? They were charming on April 1st but it's two days later now and they're getting kinda intrusive. [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 15:35 EST
** I use [https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb?hl=en adblock plus]. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:39, 3 April 2011 (PDT)
*** [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/adblock-plus/ And for Firefox...] --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 12:57, 5 April 2011 (PDT)

== You are now aware ==

[[image:Youarenowaware.jpg|800px]]

:It could almost imply that they somehow know one another! I'm more interested in the book to the left of it. Also, sign your posts. Also, this page is about improving the main page, as you've been told before. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:54, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

Well, I thought it was pretty surprising. All this time, that creepy little face was staring at me and I didn't even know it. The medallion and stare really make it a winner. Maybe bring it up in the Barbara page discussion. [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 12:26, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*Sorry,did that at like, 2 am. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:38, 7 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

== Remove the PSN tracker ==

Srsly. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:58, 29 April 2011 (PDT)
*Or put it under the update section. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:41, 29 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

==TOMGIRL.PNG==
May I suggest a recoloring of the hair blonde? --[[User:MissMeg|MissMeg]] 09:31, 7 May 2011 (PDT)

== Liquid Chris Article ==
The whole "MOTHERLAND CALLS!" template has been up on the [[Liquid Chris]] page for a while, even before I became a member here. Has the article been fixed, or is it still in need of refurbishing? -- [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 22:09, 7 May 2011 (PDT)
:Why are you asking this here? Try [[Talk:Liquid Chris]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:22, 7 May 2011 (PDT)
:: The reason I asked here was because nobody has added anything new the article since March (ignoring a recent edit-revert), and nobody has done anything with the talk page since last September. I was just wondering if this should be the Improvement Project of the Now if it's gone nowhere for a while. [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:09, 10 May 2011 (PDT)

== An error in dating? ==

Today's "''This day in Christory''" features [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|a video from February 5th, 2009]], but today is ''June 5th''. Is this intentional? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 10:37, 5 June 2011 (PDT)
*The video was from 5 Feb, but his CChanSonichu account was indeed hacked on 5 June. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 13:52, 5 June 2011 (PDT)

== Kim ==
Have we pulled a Wallflower on Kim? If not why doesn't she have a page, any information on her other than in passing, emails, phone calls, etc? [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 21:45, 6 June 2011 (PDT)

==Just for you==
I while ago I figured out the code for making youtube audio play in the background based on ED's code for it. I just forgot to share it with you. Its a nice touch for user pages, but I wouldn't recommend them for Cwcki articles.

ev:youtube|'''(The Stuff After watch?v=)'''&autoplay=1&loop=1&start=1" height="1" width="1" fposition="left" frame="false"

except add '''{{#''' at the beginning and '''}}''' at the end, and lose the '''(''' ''')''' parenthese

Sorry if its confusing, ask [[User:freecell|freecell]] if you need help, he or she uses it too.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 20:01, 12 July 2011 (PDT)

==No detective needed==
Okay, you don't have to be a fucking detective to tell that [[User:Youdonttellmewhattodo|Youdonttellmewhattodo]], [[User:Nothingyouneedknow|Nothingyouneedknow]], [[User:GodoftheGodsofgod|GodoftheGodsofgod]] are the same fucking person seeing as all three accounts were made four minutes between each and they've been posting stupid shit, complimenting Chris, and blanking pages. It's an idiot, troll, or hell possibly Chris. [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 11:34, 19 July 2011 (PDT)
:I don't think they're the same people. And I checked for some of them, they're not Chris. I don't remember specifically though and I'm kind of too lazy to check again. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 08:53, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
::Ok, sat down and checked those three again. Not Chris. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 08:58, 20 July 2011 (PDT)

==New videos==
Chris just posted a couple of new videos and from the looks of it, relating to that forum that he's been posting on. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 11:27, 6 August 2011 (PDT)
*Two more videos have gone up. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 14:38, 9 August 2011 (PDT)
* I just posted the update but there still aren't any pages about the videos. I would but I'm really goddamn tired and I feel like shit. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 14:41, 9 August 2011 (PDT)
** It's cool, they'll get made eventually, and I can't wait, to be honest, I missed the shinagins that Chris provided in his videos. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 14:49, 9 August 2011 (PDT)

== Earthquake ==

Think CWC was affected by the 5.9 earthquake in Virgina at 2PM?--[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 11:17, 23 August 2011 (PDT)
:If he was, I'm sure we'll be updated. Until then, there's no way we could know. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 11:21, 23 August 2011 (PDT)

:Unless a big box of Barb's Salvation Army finds crushed him.--[[User:Shefap|Shefap]] 12:27, 23 August 2011 (PDT)
:* There's a website [http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/dyfi/events/se/082311a/us/index.html] that will tell you where people in VA are saying they felt shaking. Around where Chris lives, there were reports of little-to-no shaking felt and no damage reported. He probably heard about the earthquake, but they probably felt nothing more than a vibration. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 14:05, 23 August 2011 (PDT)

== Article of the now. ==

shouldnt the Article of the now be Bob chandler? -[[User:HitIar|HitIar "wunderbar!"]] 12:50, 10 September 2011 (PDT)
:Indeed, I think Bob's bio should be article of the now until Chris uploads his next video. Then the article of the now should be changed into [[Chris and death]], as the most important thing about the next vid will be a demonstration of how Chris reacts (if he does react at all) to the death of a parent.
::Done, hope I did it right. -[[User:HitIar|HitIar "wunderbar!"]] 14:12, 10 September 2011 (PDT)
::*In the future, please refer discuss the Article of the now on its [[Talk:Article of the now|talk page]].

==Bob CWCki logo==
I found [[:File:BobCWCkiLogo.jpg|this gem]] we used ages ago for Bob's birthday, would it be in poor taste to post it in place of the current logo, for a while? Or perhaps someone could modify it to reflect his passing? I ask because I don't want to horribly offend people.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:50, 11 September 2011 (PDT)
*I second this, but not for too long. --[[User:MissMeg|Mary Lee Walsh | All hail the dean!]] 12:46, 25 September 2011 (PDT)
*It would have been appropriate for down time, maybe as a 404 message, but now that he's passed on, it is a bit distasteful. It would have been even more offensive if you planned to do this 5 days after his death. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 16:46, 25 September 2011 (PDT)

== Chris' family tree. ==

We should expand on Chris family lineage, because Barbara's father died in an unusual way.

J.O. WESTON, OF RED OAK IS KILLED
Joseph Otto Weston, 58, a farmer, was killed late Friday when he apparently fell from his horse drawn wagon on a rural road near Red Oak Charlotte County.
Weston, of Red Oak, was hauling wood. Apparently he fell from the wagon and under a rear wheel.
His body was discovered after the driverless horse and wagon turned up at a nearby service station.
Dr. P.H. Winston, of Clarksville, medical examiner, said death was caused by a broken neck.
Surviving are his wife, Mrs. Carrie Winn Weston; five daughters, Mrs. Wilborne Bourne, of Richmond, and Mrs. Edward Carey and Misses Barbara Ann, Mabel and Harriet Weston, of Red Oak; three sons, William S. Weston, with the Navy at Norfolk, and DeRoy Lewis and Curtis Wayne Weston, of Red Oak; three brothers, Alfred Weston, of Chase City, and Daniel and Roy Weston, of Red Oak; one sister, Mrs. Mabel M. Blacklidge of Richmond, and one grandchild.
A funeral service was held at 1:30 p.m. Sunday at Antioch Baptist Church.
(Source: The Charlotte Gazette, Drakes Branch, VA, Thursday, April 14, 1955 Submitted by: Bea. Adams King)

http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html

This is the same Joesph Otto Weston that in mentioned in that Family tree.

== Edit-hiding ==

What's going on with all the edit-hiding? --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 10:49, 6 November 2011 (PST)
:I try to use the feature sparingly, but basically it's for the protection of users. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:52, 6 November 2011 (PST)

== Stop this ==

The article of now has had bob plastered on it for 2 months, it's getting old so I decided to put an underrated sonichu character onto it and don't whine to me about it being disrespectful to bob, fuck bob! --[[User:cj|cj]]
*Personally, I think Jiggliami can eat a dick. Anyways, if you really felt that we needed a new article, you could have done something that made sense like, oh I don't know, [[28 October 2011]], instead of a character that has no relevance to what is happening in Chris's life at the moment. It's not that you're being disrespectful, it's just that you need to act a little more professionally on this site, even if it is a wiki devoted to an autistic manchild. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 10:31, 10 November 2011 (PST)

== what is this? ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt-gfkWu8Bc&feature=channel_video_title

Apparently this might be chris --[[User:The0range|The0range]]
*One, sign your comments. Two, this person claims they talked to a channel called "HuaYifu" and that this person was Chris. All you would have had to do is looked at HuaYifu's channel and you would have realized this wasn't Chris. This person has NOTHING uploaded on their channel that Chris would have done, never claims to be Chris, and never talks about Sonichu or Rosechu (which would have happened if it was Chris). This is NOT Chris. I'm not even sure how these messages came to be unless HuaYifu is trolling the owner of this video... or they both were in on it. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:47, 10 December 2011 (PST)

But why is the uploader of the video so convinced it's him though? It seem so obvious that it's not him that there might be more to it... --[[User:The0range|The0range]]

==Proper usage of words where time is concerned==

I have noticed that there are many pages that refer to "a recent video" or use similar assumptive language with regards to time. We should refrain from this type of language as the cwciki, and those pages, will be around long after the word "recent" fails to apply. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:35, 15 December 2011 (PST)
:I've said exactly the same thing. I change it when I see it, but it seems people take for granted that other people actually have to fix their shit. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 11:42, 15 December 2011 (PST)

== STOP FORCASTING ! ==

Ok i understand the desire to keep every page up to date but STOP FORCASTING! Do not enter anything into the wiki that WILL HAVE TO BE CHANGED at a later date. Don't put on barbs page that she has an upcoming court date, because that will have to be changed after that date happens. PLEASE dont make work for yourself and others.. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 10:47, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:Actually, I think that one's fine because it's an article that will inevitably have to be updated. The main issue arises on articles like videos, because post-fact people will be paying attention to other things. "Current" articles have to be rewritten all the time. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:52, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:Event forecasting is fine on a Wiki when further information is expected within a reasonable timeframe. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 16 December 2011 (PST)
:: i understand that if its on an active page then its fine, but when the forcasting is put on other pages it becomes a correctin issue. Its much better to just link to the appropriate pages and not speculate. Let the active pages do the talking while the historic data stays historic. In other words October 28th 2011 is currently the central location for court info. other pages dont need specifics until we know what the outcome is.
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:41, 16 December 2011 (PST)

== Current Events ==

There aren't ant current events on the current events page. '''So either we need to get rid of it''', or we need to put 'current events' in our 'current events' so we can have 'current events' when we read the 'current events' -xzibit [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 06:09, 4 January 2012 (PST)

== Am i the only one who thinks there should be a second 'da update' type thing for significantly less important shit? ==

I'm not saying I demand this to happen, but it seems like it would be more convenient than checking recent changes for something that might possibly be new information. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 20:34, 29 January 2012 (PST)
: While that's an interesting idea... anything that's "new information" is usually in da update. Anything else is usually something small, not confirmed 100%, or almost insignificant. I suppose we could have something small...but it would be getting updated quite a bit. At the moment, I think "recent changes" is probably a lot like another, smaller, da update would be... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:03, 29 January 2012 (PST)

== Birthday Suprise ==

Chris will be turning 30 this year and that is going to have an effect on the wiki. There are places where phrases like "Even now in his late twenties" are used. This type of language is going to become outdated. Words like "twenties" "20s" and specific ages as in "at 28 years old, Chris still lives at home" will all eventually have to be changed. CARE MUST BE TAKEN when writing about time. Remember EVERYTHING is past tense and you have to assume that the reader is reading the information 10 years from now. I have mentioned time before but the whole 'turning 30' thing needs to be addressed separately.
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 08:00, 2 February 2012 (PST)
*here is an example "There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost thirty years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, specially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be." - This will need changing. [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 08:16, 2 February 2012 (PST)
:[[Wikipedia:WP:SOFIXIT|So fix it]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:55, 2 February 2012 (PST)
:*Or as we like to say here on the CWCki, [[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|DO IT FAGGOT]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:30, 3 February 2012 (PST)
::*i am fixing what i see, just wanted others to be aware.[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:22, 7 February 2012 (PST)

== Revised idea ==

Maybe there should be a {{Timeline}} below "da update" on the main page, that would be pretty handy.--[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 12:16, 5 February 2012 (PST)

That sounds like a good idea to me. [[user:poppybrolll|-~Poppybrolll~-]] 9:23, 11 February 2012 (PST)
*Sounds like a good idea to me too... i would suggest letting someone higher up the chain add it though. We just dealt with some front page vandalism (that was kinda funny BTW) but i think its a great idea [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 08:04, 17 February 2012 (PST)

== This is what chris actually believes ==

I notice this phrase attached to pictures all over the wiki. Some of the pictures are references to Chris believing that he has some sort of chance to get laid. But many are just derogatory and rude. There are times that we KNOW what Chris believes because he tells us but many times the pictures are misleading or speculative. example: the pic on the page [[Caitlin]] is an assumption and has no basis in truth. There are many examples of picture captions being downright rude and defamatory. I think its clear that none of us can stand Chris, but we should be more careful about that coming out in the wiki. The facts please, just the facts...[[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 10:45, 29 February 2012 (PST) oops

: I [[CWCki:Policy#De-memeing the CWCki|concur]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 05:43, 10 July 2012 (PDT)

== Another Quote of the Now Suggestion ==

Now that the details of Chris's trial has been posted, do you think his outburst about having to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills- "That thieving liar doesn't deserve a red cent!"- would be appropriate? Of course, I'm still kind of a newfag here, so ignore this if you want. I just found it amusing. [[User:Alopax|Alopax]] 02:40, 11 July 2012 (PDT)

== Suggested article: Persecution Complex ==

I think we definitely need an article about all the times Christian has claimed to suffer/endured harsh trials in his life. For example, equating pulling weeds once with a Marine carrying the dead body of his friend back, as seen in the Father Call. Said Father Call is chock full of instances of Chris claiming to have suffered to prove his worthiness, in fact. I also don't need to mention all the times he has brought up being handcuffed in school, having his attraction sign removed at college, and getting suspended at college, for that was always frequent. He also grossly exaggerated the actions of the trolls in every interaction with friends, obviously... Even in his first ever YouTube video, he makes sure to claim that he has had a rough life: "I was diagnosed with high-functional autism, and I lived a, uh, somewhat rough life. I've had an abusive babysitter at one time." --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 16:13, 17 August 2012 (PDT)

*: Seconded. Make sure to include the fact that he's got a legitimate reason so see his bullshit as more important than it is. Also there's a page for requesting articles. Now get to work, soldier. [[User:CaveJohnson|CaveJohnson]] 20:33, 17 August 2012 (PDT)

== Confused ==

So, what's the deal? Is this site just an ironic way of trolling him, or what? I heard this was dedicated towards supporting him from outside sources, but looking at the content, I'd say you'd either have to be trolling him using irony and sarcasm, or as stupid as Chris himself. {{unsigned|5thofjulay}}
: We're not for or against him, for most part. There's a bit of snark here and there, sure. We try to show Chris's stuff in his own words. Unfortunately for Chris, his material doesn't make him look very good. This site isn't really a troll site, just another way for Chris to troll himself. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:46, 9 November 2012 (PST)

== Forums Gone? ==

Should we mention on the main page that the forum has been deleted from the servers over at forumer? --[[User:Sparklemilhouse|Sparklemilhouse]] 15:41, 8 November 2012 (PST)
: Perhaps, if we can figure out what happened and what the following actions are. Last I checked, the forum staff was looking at their options. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:46, 9 November 2012 (PST)
: I wonder how much Our Pet Lolcow is chuckling to himself at the loss of our forums. Maybe he thinks we closed it ourselves to comply with his "apology post" on FaceBook; or maybe that one of his Curse-ya-meha-meha blasts actually worked.
:There's a temporary relief forum for the CWCki Forums: http://spergcityzone.forumer.com/index.php [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 22:51, 11 November 2012 (PST)

== Forums gone....again? ==

The most recent forums appear to be gone. Is everything okay, or was it closed due to some of the conflicts between certain users and mods/management? - [[User:I Be Bobby Boulders|I Be Bobby Boulders]] 10:52, 30 January 2013 (EST)

Talk:Main Page

2013-01-30T15:50:28Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Forums gone....again? */ new section

File:CWCDonalds.jpg

2013-01-30T03:52:41Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Template:Da update

2013-01-12T15:13:47Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*11 [[January 2013|January]] - Chris uploads [[:File:Facebook1.jpg|two]] [[:File:Facebook2.jpg|new]] [[Facebook]] profile pictures depicting his Lego self as a fallen angel of sorts.
*20 [[December 2012|December]] - Chris posts a RapidShare link of the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, which [[Bob Chandler|his father]] both hosted and performed in.
*8-10 [[November 2012|November ]] - Chris uploads photos of [[:File:11 10 12 facebook pic.jpg|himself]] and [[:File:Chris Lego.jpg|his Lego self]] on [[Facebook]], the latter showing the [[Sonichu medallion]].
*21 [[October 2012|October]] - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|public status]] on [[Facebook]] in which he apologizes for certain past misdeeds and asks that online groups and hatreds against him be disbanded.
*8 [[October 2012|October]] - New images and status updates are leaked from Chris's [[Facebook]].
*30 [[August 2012|August]] - A full, uncut, remastered version of the [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] interview is released by Guru Larry.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2013-01-12T15:09:30Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*11 [[January 2012|January]] - Chris uploads [[:File:Facebook1.jpg|two]] [[:File:Facebook2.jpg|new]] [[Facebook]] profile pictures depicting his Lego self as a fallen angel of sorts.
*20 [[December 2012|December]] - Chris posts a RapidShare link of the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, which [[Bob Chandler|his father]] both hosted and performed in.
*8-10 [[November 2012|November ]] - Chris uploads photos of [[:File:11 10 12 facebook pic.jpg|himself]] and [[:File:Chris Lego.jpg|his Lego self]] on [[Facebook]], the latter showing the [[Sonichu medallion]].
*21 [[October 2012|October]] - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|public status]] on [[Facebook]] in which he apologizes for certain past misdeeds and asks that online groups and hatreds against him be disbanded.
*8 [[October 2012|October]] - New images and status updates are leaked from Chris's [[Facebook]].
*30 [[August 2012|August]] - A full, uncut, remastered version of the [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] interview is released by Guru Larry.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

January 2013

2013-01-12T15:07:19Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''January [[2013]]''' began the fifth year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. It has seen no activity from our hero so far, much like the majority of [[2012]].

==Events==
* 11 January: Chris changes his [[Facebook]] profile picture to his [[:File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego counterpart donning angel wings]]. In the same day, he changes his profile picture again to one of the [[:File:Facebook2.jpg|same figurine fallen flat on its face]].

{{timeline}}

Facebook

2013-01-12T15:02:33Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Gallery */

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].
==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===
28 April 2012
{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===
{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect seeing the MLP parodies had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

File:Facebook2.jpg

2013-01-12T15:00:19Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

File:Facebook1.jpg

2013-01-12T14:59:48Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

January 2013

2013-01-12T14:57:37Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''January [[2013]]''' began the fifth year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. It has seen no activity from our hero so far, much like the majority of [[2012]].

==Events==
* 11 January: Chris changes his Facebook profile picture to his LEGO counterpart donning angel wings. In the same day, he changes his profile picture again to one of the same figurine "fallen" flat on his face.

{{timeline}}

Chris in the media

2013-01-09T19:48:32Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait..]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. [[Television]], newspapers, magazines and, of course, [[the Internet]] - if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was seventeen years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as eight]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===Shoujo Beat===

{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===

[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25 year old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], the Chandlers were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

=== KROQ-FM ''The Kevin and Bean Show''===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and BeanKevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

=== ''Web Soup'' ===

{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than thirty seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]].

===Save McIntire Park===

{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

=== ''Slylock Fox'' ===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]
On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip strip published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was nine years old (rather than twenty-nine) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

=== ''The Opie & Anthony Show'' ===
''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]] which is broadcasted to 18.5 million units did a commentary segment on Christian's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether the man child has realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcasted to low earth orbit.
{{Infobox/video
|name= Opie and Anthony: Chris Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|gLYvMLHZfFo}}
}}

=== ''Houston Press'' ===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of folk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [http://guwange.bandcamp.com/album/trollstas-paradise-a-true-honest-tribute-to-christian-the-hedghog-boys covers album] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for [[autism]]".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

==Major Internet media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator Harry Partridge (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "A Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesa]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd scene.

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever read Sonichu.}}

Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' because he didn't want to bring any more attention to it, seemingly being aware that Chris takes pride in any attention being brought to himself and Sonichu, no matter how negative it is. At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (referring to him inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel.

===Something Awful===
The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how [[Sonic]] cured his [[Autism]] in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], [[Sega]] of America made a brief reference to Sonichu in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when talking about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away. While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[Sonichu]] [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc&feature=plcp&context=C3339408UDOEgsToPDskLt-QBTt2G-JGOVz5W_wy4Z}}
}}

Chris had seen this video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012|was not amused]].

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

==Video Games==
===McPixel===

On 25 [[June 2012|June]] 2012, indie game McPixel was released, featuring an homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWHd_10zcaY</ref>

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life| ]]

Chris-chan Discusses...

2012-08-30T13:51:48Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''Chris-chan Discusses...''' is a series of [[July 2009]] video interviews between Larry Bundy Jr., aka "Guru Larry" of [[Wikipedia:Channel Awesome|That Guy With The Glasses.com]] (a website dedicated to video game and movie reviews) and the Internet's favorite autistic manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Guru Larry is the second big name fan of CWC, along with animator Harry Partridge.

While a normal person would see Larry is clearly insulting Chris to his face, Chris's [[autism]] prevented him from comprehending Larry's blatant sarcasm. The only thing Chris picked up on was that Larry was using the Bulk and Skull theme from ''[[Power Rangers]]'', which has negative connotations.

This was the second time that Chris gave a public interview.

==Directors' Cut==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|-bRbFWKPvktU}}</center>

==Preview (Cumming Soon...)==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|-wLuussu4iQ}}</center>

{{quote|Yep. Hello.}}

===Transcript===

Larry: Hello, and welcome to my very first interview with various people… from the Internet! And with me tonight, we have [[Christian Weston Chandler]]… uh, best known on the Internet for-- creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

Larry: Hello there, Christian.

 Chris: Yep. Hello.

Larry: So… yes. Good.

==Chris-chan Discusses... [[BILLY MAYS]]==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|ly4HcwZioJk}}</center>

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of Cwcville. There is no elections.}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|right|"I'm damn straight!"]]
 Chris: (fading in)...you know, I read in de uh- read in the announcement video about [[BILLY MAYS|BILLY's MAYS]]- about uh, well I quoted Wikipedia about BILLY's cause of death which was basically something like a heart attack.

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: And I was in [[Wikipedia:Charlotte County, Virginia|Red Oak]] the whole weekend.

Larry: You do know he was involved in a plane crash the day before as well?

 Chris:...oh...yeah I s'pose that would put a lot of [[stress]] and to, uh, futher induce the heart attack, yeah.

Larry: So yeah so it could be- You wa- you wu- you weren't flying the plane, we'll get that straight, were you flying the plane?

 Chris: Yeah, I was not- yeah I was not flyin' da plane I was in Red Oak with my mother and my relatives.

Larry: Okay...So yes, so you've got no ulterior motives to-

 Chris: I have no ulterior motives, oh and in fact- I forgot to say this in the video but uhh, I often confuse BILLY MAYS with with [[Wikipedia:Richard Karn|Richard Karn]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Home Improvement (TV series)|Home Improvement]], 'cause they both look and act- both looked, acted, and sounded alike.

Larry: You mean they're both fat and got a beard?

 Chris: Uhh...no, I've been talm 'bout, you know, aside from the beard like you know the other facial features, and the voice...I just often confused uh BILLY with Richard Karn.

Larry: Yeah I often confuse people with fictional characters as well so...It's n- it's quite easy to do...so-

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: So what do you think of the people calling for [[Adam Stackhouse]] to be the new mayor of [[CWCville]] as well?

 Chris: Uhh, no no no no, I'm still the mayor of CWCville, there is no elections. I mean that's just a whole bunch of uh rumors on the internet that trolls are uh just talking amongst themselves...uhh, just, do not believe anything that comes from the trolls, it's all just a bunch of rumor- it's all just a bunch of false rumors and lies.

Larry: Uh, is uh, are you gonna be announcing BILLY MAYS's death in your comic as well or anything or...?

 Chris: Uhh...Ohh yeah well let me just uh- I mean, I've already uploaded a video onto YouTube too, but let me just say that once again I never- HE never was the mayor of CWCville, when I made that statement on a YouTube I was blackmailed into doing dat by uhh, the uh quote unquote [[BlueSpike|"Julie's brother," that little 13 year old brat]] so I was lying out of my ass when I said that.

Larry: Ah. Yes. If I could a-

 Chris: I- SO I BIN- So I've always been the mayor of CWCville and I still am, there's no question about it.

Larry: Ah. Now it was quite (Chris coughs) it was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not because we couldn't see if you were holding an [[Optimus Prime]] ... I saw ... so, uh, so if it was on video we would known you was lying.

 Chris: (Unnecessarily forced cough) Uh, yeah, well I was lying out my ass when I said tha- when I said that I was a..."[[homosexual]]"...lyin' out my ass when I said that bun everybody knows I'm damn straight.

Larry: Yes of course, you are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.

 Chris: Yeah... thank you.

Larry: You're welcome.

==Chris-chan Discusses... Spax3 & Jason Griffith==

''Note: For anyone wondering who [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Spax3 Spax3] (real name: Alexander/Edison Prins-Stairs) is, the best way to describe him is if [[ED]] was an Olympic sport, Spax would have the silver medal to Chris's gold.''

''Other note: Up until Larry informs him otherwise, Chris is under the impression that "Spax3" is a new character in an upcoming [[Sonic]] game. How he came to this conclusion is unknown. You are welcome to speculate, though.''

''Jason Griffith is Spax's equivalent of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].''
<center>{{#ev:youtube|8V4w-OSdslo}}</center>

===Transcript===

Larry: Yes... also, uhh.. ano- another thing a lot of people have been asking me to te- ask this. Uh, what do you think of the voice actors for Sonic the Hedgehog? [Pause] I mean there's- I must say there's- there's somebody out there on the Internet who's uh, very opposed to, uh, Jason Griffith. Uh, doing the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog. What do you think about that? You bothered with the voice?

 Chris: Mmm... Y- I pretty much like the- uh, original voice they've been going with this whole time. Uhh... changing it, uhh... would be uh, I don't know- I don't know if it- well it depends, I would have to compare the new voice and compare it to the old voice to - um, make an opinion. Although I will say this. In comparison to the animated series, y'know, where they had the- uh, [[Wikipedia:Jaleel White|kid who was Urkel]] originally voicing Sonic the Hedgehog... versus uh... what- who they have for [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]] and the video games... uhh.. I'd say- I'd say the newer voi- I'd say the newer guy does it much better.

Larry: Ah.. No. There's uh- There's uh, two guys doi- uh, there was the guy doing it in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|''Sonic Adventure'']] and [[Wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|''Sonic Heroes'']], it was a guy called [[Wikipedia:Ryan Drummond|Ryan Drummond]]. And they- uh, they fired him because he couldn't make it to New York. They hired this guy called [[Wikipedia:Jason Griffith|Jason Griffith]], and they uh-

 Chris: [speaking over] Oh, that's too bad.

Larry: So yes. So yeah, basically, uh, everything you hear now is Jason Griffith, and I was just wondering if you thought- y'know- If you notice any difference?

 Chris: Hmmm. I didn't really notice a difference.

Larry: Oh that's good. So you- yeah. So... you reckon that someone made uh- started making... per- petitions to uh, have him fired and that, is a bit over the top?

 Chris: Hmm.

Larry: I mean, would y- would you say that's going a bit far or...

 Chris: Uhhhmm... yeah, probably. Sounds like it was going a bit far, yeah.

Larry: Oh that's good. So yes. So th- It's a- It's a guy called, uh, Spax3. Have you ever heard of him?

[Chris rolls his eyes to one side, in noticeable surprise. Is he hiding something?]

 Chris: Uhhnn... I'm sorry... uhh... Dax3?

Larry: SPAX! [Spells it out] S-P-A-X-3 ...

 Chris: Oh! Spax... uhh... no, I've never heard of that one.

Larry: Ah. Yes, it's a guy, yes. He uhm, he uh... he actually has fantasies about [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]] as well, don't know if you know about that.

[Chris opens his eyes wide in shock, possibly embarrassment. "I thought I was the only one who had those!"]

 Chris: Ohhh...[pause]...oh... huh.[another pause] Uhm, is this- is this like a villain character, this Spax?

Larry: [Speaking over] No! No, no! He's a- He's a real person. He's a real person. Uh, he- uh, he- uh, doesn't like people saying that. That, he- uh... likes... rabbits. He gets very upset about it. Yeah, he says he has uhh... y'know, there's a big thing on- loads of trolls on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] who want to keep saying that he likes having sex with a rabbit.

 Chris: Huh...

Larry: He wants to have sex with a six-year old rabbit. So. So, do you- do you find that disgusting at all?

 Chris: Mmm... Well, that's his decision but I personally [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|do not promote bestiality]], as a matter of fact, I'm against it, [[Religion|and the bible is against it]], so uh... I- Y'know uhh... he has his opinions, and he has his rights to his own opinions but personally, I'm against it.

Larry: Even if they're half-human?

 Chris: [Pause] Uh... even if...?

Larry: I mean, 'cause they're like, Sonic the Hedgehog, he's- he's sort of half-human, he's not like a proper hedgehog, he's like half-human. He's got two legs and stuff, so.. does that SORT OF count?

 Chris: Uhhmm... uhhh... I don't there is, uhh... any hu- any half-human there... uhh...

[Long awkward pause. Chris strokes chin in confusion]

 Chris: Yeah, I'd still say he's uh... ALL-ANIMAL. I'd still say they're all-animals. They just been given-uh... human form... it's not necessarily making them "half-human".

Larry: No. So, so- uhhh... So you wouldn't say there's any human in [[Sonichu]] or anything, either then? When he's, uh, completely a [[Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Or there's no, other way 'round it... even though he stands on two legs?

 Chris: [Pause]... yeah.

==Chris-chan Discusses... E3 (2009) Little Big Planet==

''* Note E3 (Electronics Entertainment Expo) is a large trade fair for the video games industry held in LA every year around the end of May/June showcasing the following year's releases.''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|IxOI63oNDzM}}</center>

===Transcript===

Larry: Right, so, uh, we're gonna be talking about E3 today, so, uh, what about- Start again from the overall thing, what's your overall opinion of the uh, video games on there this year. What do you think of them?

 Chris: Oh yeah, I like the games, they're very good. I personally interested in the uh, y'know, [[God of War]] 3 and uh, the PSP version of [[Little_Big_Planet|Little Big Planet]].

Larry: Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And what do you- What do you think of the PSP Go, is that something you might be buying, or...

 Chris: Yeah, I might buys that for myself, but I would be [[Chris_and_Money|keeping my PSP 2000]] as well.

Larry: Oh, yeah, so-

 Chris: Cause, y'know, I have a bunch of [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games...

Larry: No, you don't wanna get rid of that just yet.

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: You're not being tempted to modify it or anything, so you could play copied games on it, from the hard dr- the Memory Card?

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: Oh, That's good.

 Chris: Yeah, let me talk about Little Big Planet PSP for a bit

Larry: Alright.

 Chris: Yeah, ak- as you know, uh, yeah, some features I'd like to see, for the [[PSP]] version. I'd like to have it, uh, where I can sync up with the [[Dirty_Crapped_Briefs|pee-]] with the original [[PS3|PS3]] version, and, uh, copy the, uh, stickers and costumes and objects, that, uh, originated from the PS3 version, as well as the downloadable content...

Larry: Mm.

 Chris: Cause I'm sure a [[Trolls|lot of us]] would love to be able to play the uh, play in the spaceman suit that we, uh, got, uh, at the, uh, release of Little Big Planet, or even as Kratos or [[Gay|Nariko]].

Larry: ''(tried to say something, but Chris cuts in, assuming his "Look darling, it's trying to think like a human being!" pose)''

 Chris: And uh, an-a-nd also another thing question, I mean uh, whatever happened to the uh, Real Media Molecule... Ibuh the ''Rare'' Mol- Media Molecule shirt that they talked about at the beginning? It never came out! ''(my guess is they don't stock it in XXXL, Chris)''

Larry: Oh. Have you tried contertactiong them about it? Or anything? Or...

 Chris: ''(licks lips)'' Yeah, I tried tal- I tried contacting them about that, uh, haven't got a response yet.

Larry: You'd think they'd- You'd think they'd contact you, I mean, they did favorite one of your videos once didn't they, I mean, you are one of their stars, after all.

 Chris: Okay yeah.

''(cuts)''

 Chris: It's just, y'know, I think, uh, couple of, I think uh, I'd like to address a couple more ''Little Big Planet'' issues.

Larry: Okay.

 Chris: Yeah, let's see, we talked about linki- linking up with- between the PSP and PS3 versions...

Larry: ''(mimics being choked to death, which is exactly what the viewer is doing)''

 Chris: - With the copying the costumes and the stickers and all that...

Larry: ''(plays dead)''

 Chris: Mmmm... See, it's like... [[Butt_garments|Expandable]] memory usage, for like, y'know, y'know, people are just gonna [[Autism|continue collecting the objects]] from the custom levels...

Larry: ''(regains his composure)''

 Chris: And uh, creating their own levels, but it's like, y'know, you keep on go- you keep on creating and collecting and like, you g- it's not- it's- you collect too much, and then uh, you won't be able to save your profile. Uh, on your, on your, on your hard drive. I'd like to see, like, y'know, like expandable memory, like, y'know uh, it, like, it grows as you collect, the memory?

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: Yeah, so, yeah, I'd like to see that. And, uh, also, another thing I'd like to see - a soundtrack to uh, music on Little Big Planet, cause it's good music.

Larry: I think it's all licensed and it'd be pretty hard to-

 Chris: ''(cuts in)'' PRETTY GOOD MUSIC I'D LIKE TO, UH, S-

Larry: Yeah, a lot of it is licensed, that might be a bit hard.

 Chris: Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, especially uh, also the uh... Heh. I mean, like, y'know, I guess, y'know, people probably pirate the uh, one song that put the game in the question that delayed it's release by a week or two. Remember that?

Larry: Oh. Yeah, it actually got released in Britain with that... My copy had it on.

 Chris: ... ''(envious stare, weak "heh")''

Larry: It's actually on the disc- It's actually, the song is actually on the disc, but they released a patch to remove it.

 Chris: Yeah. I've heard about that, yeah.

Larry: So if you got rid of that patch... If you got rid of that patch you could actually listen to it.

 Chris: Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard- I've heard about that, but... Still, I mean, like, y'know, game soundtrack would be good. Yeah, even, like, y'know, if they released it in the Playstation Store, like they did with soundtrack to, uh, Pixeljunk Monsters.

Larry: Yeah.

 Chris: And then put that up for sale, yeah, I would, uh, definitely pay, like, ten-twelve bucks to, uh, download those tracks.

Larry: That much, eh? So yeah. So what would you...

 Chris: Yeah.

Larry: What would you like to have included into Little Big Planet in future. I mean, what sort of, uh, characters and designs and stuff?

 Chris: Yeah, I- I mean, like, y'know, I liked what they're doing about the uh- What they talked about at E3, uh, [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|doing Disney characters]]? But I'd like to see... [[Transformers|Transformers]]. Like, y'know, Me- like for y'know, [[Optimus Prime]], [[Zapina|Bumblebee]], [[Julie|Starscream]] and [[Clyde_Cash|Megatron]] or even, like, [[Megan|Soundwave from Generation 1]], that'd be cool.

Larry: Yes. I AGREE.

 Chris: ''(eyes rolled into the back of his head, completely spaced out into transformerland)'' Make it even, like, y'know,two sets of costumes, y'know, one from Generation 1 and one for the movie.

Larry: Hm.

 Chris: And a whole buncha stickers!

Larry: Ah.

 Chris: That- That'd be awesome.

Larry: Yes, it would be then, yes.

==Chris-chan Discusses... Transformers==
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|_1v0aPxgh0Q}}
</center>

===Transcript===

Larry: What do you play online at the moment, apart from life? PlayStation home, I mean.

Chris: Mmm... yeah, yeah probably.

Larry: Okay. Um. No, I mean what are you into at the moment in online gaming, I mean what sort of games do you play?

Chris: Um, like online, uh, I like playing Little Big Planet online, uh, among other game titles, I can't remember the names of them. I can't remember the names at the moment.

Larry: Ok.

Chris: That's that would be uh, that's a lot for me to think about though, yeah.

Larry: Ok uh, did you buy Ghostbusters as well?

Chris: Uh no I didn't get that yet, but yeah but I like what I've seen so far, if they release a demo then I would download that...

Larry: Yeah.

Chris: If I don't buy the game first...

Larry: So what was the last game you bought? 

Chris: Uh, yeah, last game I bought... which one was that [coughs a bit] yeah I bought the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen video game, that was pretty good.

Larry: That's good.

Chris: Yeah I like and I've seen and I saw the movie last Wednesday and I thought it was awesome. I don't
care what the critics- how the critics put it down... I thought it was a very fun movie and it did have a good story to it and I enjoyed the story.

Larry: That's good. Yes there's enough--

Chris: I mean you know, critics will be critics... I mean like you know some of 'em get paid to praise it and some of 'em get paid to haze it, and you know I just think like you know in general I don't care for those who haze it. I mean, I mean like you know, Transformers has been uh ve-, has been uh very good and they have their own history, especially in generation one, you know in generation one they had some humor, and uh, whatnot, in uh, in the characters and in the story, so I'm thinking so I'm feeling like uh the uh movie is very much following that theme and I think I think Michael Bay is doing a good job with that.

Larry: So yes, Optimus Prime did die in the second one then?

Chris: Yeah, he died but yeah [clears throat] but they brought him back to life shortly enough with the Matrix of Leadership.

Larry: Yeah, that's good because you don't want any kids to lock themselves in their rooms for several days, and all that...

Chris: Yeah, yeah, especially like you know in the generation one, they brought him back to life episodes later in the two part episode.

Larry: Yeah.

Chris: [Fake sounding cough] excuse me. I got a frog in my throat! He's using my tonsils for a lily pad! 

Larry: Oh dear! So yes...

Chris: It's a little joke I picked up from Red Skelton.

Larry: He is indeed a master of comedy!

Chris: Yep! Very funny man.

Larry: Yes.

Chris: And a good human being as well.

Larry: Oh, that's good.

 '''[Video Break]'''

 SAE: So yes. What's with that bruise on your head as well, how did you get that?

Chris: Bruise on my head?

Larry: Yeah, you got a cut on top of your head there, the other side, the other side, the other side, yeah. 

Chris: Oh, it's just uh, it's just a bug bite.

Larry: Ah, ok. I thought we had a bit of a ruckus at the wedding or something.

Chris: No, no, did not have a ruckus at the wedding. It was a nice wedding.

Larry: Oh I see.

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-03]]
[[Category: Interview videos| 2009-07-03]]

Template:Da update

2012-08-30T13:49:52Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*30 [[August 2012|August]] - A full, uncut, remastered version of the [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] interview is released by Guru Larry.
*1 [[August 2012|August]] - The existence of [[Clover and Snoopy]], Chris's two new dogs, is revealed on the CWCki forums.
*11 [[July 2012|July]] - On [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]], Chris calls out the "trolls" who attended his arraignment.
*10 [[July 2012|July]] - Chris and [[Barb]] are [[This is how the Trial went|arraigned]] on [[28 October 2011|felony charges]] and sentenced.
*27 [[June 2012|June]] - Chris posts another [[Facebook]] status, listing all the things he wants "Damn [[troll]]s" to quit doing to him. He also posts the picture of a [[niggos|black woman]] who he claims has given him a "difficult time". He then posts an angry update demanding the trolls stop harassing him and ends his Facebook escapade by explaining to [[Anna]] why he can't change his phone number.
*25 [[June 2012|June]] - Chris updates his [[Twitter]] to talk about [[My Little Pony]] youtube videos.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Cole Smithey

2012-08-25T01:48:28Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Coles.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 49)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (father) [[Barbara Chandler]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s first son, and lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole leads a relatively normal life. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's emails to Chris]] revealed a lot of information about the Chandler family.

==Life==

===Childhood===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice the physical similarity.]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref> As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref name="email">[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she wasn't.<ref name="email" /> Cole suspected and later confirmed the identity of his father to be [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who was introduced as a friend of the family and visited when Cole was a child.

===Move to California===
Cole left home for California, attended San Diego State University from 1981–84, and earned degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981–85.<ref>The Rockin’ Dogs
</ref>

===Present===
Cole currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He was mentioned once in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> He occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions for the winning bidder to [[ego|spend a night drinking with him]].<ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drink-Craft-Beer-in-NYC-with-Film-Critic-Cole-Smithey-/290715508352?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item43affe9e80</ref>

{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. According to Cole, [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. He has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref name="email" /> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks to be informed when Bob dies so he can celebrate.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence contradicting her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of Chris on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by trying to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save [[Julie]]).

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts had died a month prior.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

===Cole in the comics===
On the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed as the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|Chris's gift to Cole in [[1998]]
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Facebook

2012-06-29T14:26:46Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* iOS */

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals.
==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===
28 April 2012
{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===
{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Hyneman was also at a USA Science & Engineering Festival on 28-29 [[April 2012]] at Virginia Tech, 162 miles (261 km) away.<ref>[http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html]</ref>

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section [[Anna]] suggested Chris change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook for iPhone app, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png recent] [http://sonichu.com/w/images/6/62/Difficult_time_lady.jpg photos] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first Brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect seeing the MLP parodies had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Facebook

2012-06-29T14:19:56Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* iPhone */

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals.
==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===
28 April 2012
{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===
{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Hyneman was also at a USA Science & Engineering Festival on 28-29 [[April 2012]] at Virginia Tech, 162 miles (261 km) away.<ref>[http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html]</ref>

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section [[Anna]] suggested Chris change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook for iPhone app, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first Brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect seeing the MLP parodies had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Voicemail greeting

2012-06-15T16:03:54Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

[[Chris]]'s '''voicemail greeting''' is something which many [[trolls]] have experienced when attempting to call Chris. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of almost 3 years.

== Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting ==
=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Jay Z|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- [[Chris and his ego|Because I got so much reputation-and at stake-at the current time]]. Also if this is a, uh, [[Troll]] trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naive|trollin' stupid]], you're [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY4q2yk3pgk| Listen here!]

=== [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] ===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.

===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!]

=== c. [[May 2011]] ===
'''Chris:''' [[Autism|Hello. Leave message. Goodbye]].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!]

=== 13 May 2011===
'''Chris:''' Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!]

=== [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, [[Chris and Reality|I screen my calls]], so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!]

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ko58be75hfxos53 Download here!]

=== [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!]

=== 15 July 2011===
'''Chris:''' Hello, you have [[Chris and english|reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler]]. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

=== [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, [[Chris and health|I'm sick]]. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!]

=== 9 December 2011 ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!]

=== [[February 2012|11 February 2012]]===
'''Chris:''' Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day!

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?da8lcodm440fzkl Download here!]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5Ar5bTayQ Listen here!]

=== [[April 2012|30 April 2012]]===

'''Chris:''' [''maniacal laughter''] You [[trolls]] got ''served''! [''maniacal laughter''] Oh, you know what to do after the beep.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0snPhz2eaVs Listen here!]

=== [[May 2012| 3 May 2012]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello, leave your name message and telephone number after the beep. Have a good day.

*no recording

=== [[May 2012| 6 May 2012]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*no recording

=== [[May 2012| 20 May 2012]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*no recording

=== [[June 2012| 4 June 2012]] ===
'''Chris:''' Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye!

*[http://www.2shared.com/audio/La_62LqD/ddd.html Download here!]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZN8USLgA&feature=plcp Listen here!]

=== [[June 2012| 12 June 2012]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. [[Autism|I do not understand people]]. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message..I'll get back to you..if I know you in person..or...somethin'. Whatever. Um.. have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ktad1ii64kdutpn Download here!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpCoGu7KWeA&feature=youtu.be Listen here!]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

June 2012

2012-06-15T16:03:25Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''June [[2012]]''' started off with a triumphant return to [[Facebook]].

==Events==
*4 June - Chris posts in Facebook, claiming that there was no poster campaign in [[Charlottesville]].
*8-10 June - Chris pledged to sell lemonade and collect money for kids with cancer on these dates, as part of [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]].
*12 June: Chris change his [[voicemail greeting]].

June 2012

2012-06-15T16:02:47Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Bob Chandler

2012-04-05T22:51:29Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|[That fuck] Bob]]
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 September [[2011]] (aged 84)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barb]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Issue'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob was still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tried to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was unfazed by these attempts.

Bob conversed with numerous trolls. A lot of information was gained from these chats, mostly due to his tendency to yammer on.

Bob died on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Bob is presumably spending the afterlife haunting the [[Dreams|nightmares]] of Chris's [[Trolls|enemies]], much like his [[Patti|deceased childhood pet.]]

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

===Service and education===
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> His father, Robert F Chandler Sr (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-19??) was allegedly half [[Cherokee]].

Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

On the other hand, Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob had been interested in it since he was 10, and had become very world conscious as a believer in the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the [[1930s]]. He had collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with (he loved to ramble if the person showed some slight interest), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" /> The [[Rocky Shoemaker call]] revealed that Bob had previously been hospitalised for severe "bug bites".

A major question in the [[troll]] community has been what would happen once Bob died.

===What about Bob?===
[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learned something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally mentioned [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now in his [[Tomgirl Saga|cross-dressing phase]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and had [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]]. Once again, Chris did not seem sad or concerned, and mentioned it only as an excuse for why he never traveled outside his immediate area.

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> He survived 54 years of the Burger King Whopper and 29 years of Christian Weston Chandler.

Chris loved his father so much that he waited several weeks before attempting to [[Craigslist|sell his TV]]. Luckily for Chris, Bob didn't [[Aunt Corrina|die on pancake day]].

===BobWatch™===
On 10 August 2010, [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call]] took place between Bob and Alec Benson Leary, who posed as an employee of [[GAMe PLACe|The GAMe PLACe]]. Discussing Chris's June trespassing citation, it was discovered that Chris hadn't told his parents about the incident (surprise, surprise). Chris posted [[6 June 2010|a whiny video]] about the incident the night that it happened, which remained on his YouTube channel until he purged all of his videos on 22 November. Yeah, that's how negligent Bob was.

On 19 August 2010, it was revealed that the elderly man with heart failure was still [[Coffee Place|eating breakfast at Burger King]] on a daily basis. The Grim Reaper is said to have been pleased by this news.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that by that time [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproved of them.

On 29 August 2011, Chris [[Calling_Out#Response_to_ADF|mentioned in a video]] that his father was no longer getting out much because he was sickly and his feet were bloated. Foot swelling is a [http://www.cardioassoc.com/patient_pgs/conditions/congestive.asp symptom of late-stage congestive heart failure.] With his mobility limited, Bob became a shut in, which only compounded his heart problems. It was a rare occurrence of Chris legitimately acknowledging his dad's health was failing and an even rarer occurrence of him genuinely knowing of any situation around him.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died. Despite all the jokes made about Chris and his family, the death of a loved one is a very tragic event. Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into unusual detail about what Bob did at General Electric. This includes an odd mention of Bob somehow being indirectly responsible for the [[Mumble 4|invention of a "simple plastic funnel".]]
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to donate money to Barbara and Chris. Given [[Chris and money|the money habits of Chris]] and Barb, the remaining Chandlers may be in a dire financial situation.

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with whom he was both out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he has yet to as of 9 September 2011. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thought (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls had communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob had reportedly explained to him that he had taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris would run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that, or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He would never get past that notion, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob wouldn't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob wasn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoyed gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan - Tribute to Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p48KrSYHkgo}}
| Stardate = 12 September 2011
| Maker = OVRFND
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

February 2012

2012-03-01T13:26:34Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''February [[2012]]''' saw Chris's thirtieth birthday, a slew of [[Honest Content|unflattering]] videos made for [[Jackie]], and a look into how he lives his life in a world full of [[28 October 2011|Jews]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker call|locust infestations]] via a new [[Facebook]] account.
[[Image:1328397527051.jpg|thumb|right|Chris is not amused.]]

==Events==
*4 February : Chris writes on his [[Facebook statuses|Facebook account]] details about him playing "hide and seek" with the Jerkops and Manajerk at the [[Fashion Square Mall]].
*5 February - Chris is spotted in a [[Chris and Fashion|Goodwill]] and publishes new photos on his [[Facebook]] account.
*11 February - Chris change his [[voicemail greeting]]...again.
*17 February - Chris' plans for a charitable [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]] are discovered.
*22 February - The Playstation Vita is released. The likelihood of Chris getting one for his birthday? 99.999999999996%
*24 February - Chris [[Birthday|turns thirty]]([[Chris and Health|!]]).
*24 February - [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], [[The Red-Maned Deer]], [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].
{{Timeline}}

February 2012

2012-02-11T02:25:06Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''February [[2012]]''' will see Chris's thirtieth birthday.
[[Image:1328397527051.jpg|thumb|right|Chris is not amused.]]

==Events==
*5 February - Chris is spotted in a [[Chris and Fashion|Goodwill]] and publishes new photos on his [[Facebook]] account.
*22 February - The Playstation Vita is released. The likelihood of Chris getting one for his birthday? 99.999999999996%
*24 February - Chris [[Birthday|turns thirty]]([[Chris and Health|!]]).
{{Timeline}}

Facebook

2012-01-25T19:27:47Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Template:Quote of the now

2012-01-01T17:44:35Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{{quote|I am Chris Chan.|Chris's [[PSN]] status}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible and use links appropriately. Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. }}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

December 2011

2011-12-27T13:11:41Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

'''December 2011''' will be the final month in what has been arguably the darkest year in [[Chris|Chris']] life.

==Events==
*07 December - Chris changes his [[voicemail message|voicemail greeting]], informing listeners that he is apparently unwell.
*08 December - A troll [[Rocky Shoemaker call|calls Rocky Shoemaker]] and discovers (by pretending to be a court-appointed psychiatrist) that there is a severe bug infestation at Chris's home.
*09 December - Chris changes his [[voicemail message|voicemail greeting]] again, apparently feeling better.
*15 December - Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] appear in court over the [[28 October 2011]] incident. Their case is continued until January 5th, 2012.
*25 December - Chris celebrates his first [[Christmas]] without [[Robert Chandler|his father]].
*26 December - Chris changes his [[PSN]] status to "Go Socialize OFFLINE!", possibly attempting to make it "public" that he's sticking to the advice given to him during the time of his trial.
{{Timeline}}

Template:Quote of the now

2011-12-27T13:05:33Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

{{quote|Go Socialize OFFLINE!|Chris's [[PSN]] status}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible and use links appropriately. Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. }}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

File:CWC0001.jpg

2011-12-18T15:44:21Z

I Be Bobby Boulders:

Chris at a Toys-R-Us event in 2000. Note Sonichu, Rosechu and Barb to the left of him.

Manchester High School

2011-12-11T14:59:37Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Gallery */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent four years of Chris's life]]
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|right|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]

{{quote|I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life.|Chris, ten years after finishing high school, crying alone in his dark, toy-filled bedroom<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian, Virginia]], was attended by [[Chris]] from [[1996]] to [[2000]] ([[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High_school_.28grades_9_through_12.29|ninth grade to twelfth grade]]). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life<ref>[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7</ref>, even though he proudly slept through a good deal of it.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>

Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8</ref> [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], "Coping Skills" and a lot of [[art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''Honor Roll Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''<ref name="teen">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> However, according to the video [[Song of Christian]], he failed [[English]] class during his sophomore year of high school.

Chris is very proud of the fact that he was mainstreamed throughout high school, even though, in the extended slideshow, the captions under the majority of his teachers' names say "special education". This implies that Chris was mainstreamed to the extent that he attended the same school as his typically functioning peers, but nothing more than that. He also rode on the "freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus", an experience which haunts him to this day.<ref name="Jackie Chat 9">[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>

Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] (and a "manager", [[Chris and reality|according to him]]) for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery "M" for this work.<ref name="teen" />

==Known Accomplishments==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]]]

;10th Grade
* [[Song of Christian|F in English Class]]

;12th Grade
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story "[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]"
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]"
{{-}}

==Social life==
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]

Most of Chris's friends were [[gal-pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating "odd" and "even" days). There were immature boys on the school bus, which he dreaded. Chris's purported friends:
* [[Kellie Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]
* Sarah B.<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], pages 9 and 13</ref>
* Miranda, partner in Science class<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 14</ref>
* Molly, happy and giggly<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6</ref>
* [[Joseph Herring]]
* Brian, [[JERK|boyfriend]] of Sarah<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8</ref>

{{-}}
==Go Lancers!==

Chris's servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other males throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory. So much so, that he continues to obsess over it '''ten years''' after graduating.

A few references were slipped into the comic. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Manchester High was featured heavily. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu]] back in time to [[1996#1996|1996,]] when Chris was a student. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleading outfit.

In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.

{{-}}

==The Bus==

At age 15, Chris was "demoted" from the regular school bus to the Special Ed bus. Out of all the weird, embarrassing details of his life that he has no problem discussing, this is one experience that he has rarely spoken about. It's clear that Chris was scarred by this experience of being forced to spend time with the seriously mentally handicapped, or "slow-in-the-mind retards" as he calls them.

Chris switched to the Bus of Doom after a confrontation with another student on the Normal Bus. Much like every other time Chris claims to have been physically assaulted, it is unclear exactly what happened. He has only told the story twice;<ref name="Jackie Chat 9"/><ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref> in one version it sounds like Chris started a fight because he wanted to get off the bus first, and in the other version it sounds like a [[niggo]] punched him for no reason. Whatever happened, Chris cites this incident as the reason for his exclusion from Gen Pop.

==The Seinor Prom==

Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. [[Gal-pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris (and arguably seemed like hours to Tiffany too). Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]</ref> That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.

===Gallery===

<center><gallery>
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg|Stay classy, Virginia.
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|"Don't go gropin' anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'."
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Chris was probably more interested in the food than the two young ladies.
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point.
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue!
</gallery></center>

==Graduation==

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris actually looking kinda classy, in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]

For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]</ref>

{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had [[Chris and English|MORE FANCIER]] AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and Anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]]!

I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.
}}

[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:<ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(

[...]

I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, "Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright."

Even now as I type this, I am still *&$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].
}}

The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==Lingering attachments==
Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at an [[autistic]] child in a public school can get you suspended.

Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: "I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated." A good half a dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and past sweethearts]]" (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.

There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, where Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga.

==Reunion plans==
{{quote|I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.|Chris on his "Promised Reunion"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref>}}

In his "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts" page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris notes that he looks forward to attending his class reunion. He doesn't know exactly when this will take place, and made no effort to find out about it until mid-2010, as he assumed somebody from the school would have contacted him with directions by then.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], wherein he reveals that, up to that point, he hadn't heard anything about a coming reunion. He decided to organize one himself, only to give up relatively quickly. In [[November 2010]], there may have been a class reunion, but either way, Chris did not attend.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|Tungsten. That is all.
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Honor roll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.chesterfield.k12.va.us/Schools/Manchester_HS/home.html Homepage]
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Wikipedia article on Manchester High School]]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

Manchester High School

2011-12-11T14:57:30Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Gallery */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent four years of Chris's life]]
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|right|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]

{{quote|I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life.|Chris, ten years after finishing high school, crying alone in his dark, toy-filled bedroom<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian, Virginia]], was attended by [[Chris]] from [[1996]] to [[2000]] ([[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High_school_.28grades_9_through_12.29|ninth grade to twelfth grade]]). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life<ref>[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7</ref>, even though he proudly slept through a good deal of it.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>

Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8</ref> [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], "Coping Skills" and a lot of [[art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''Honor Roll Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''<ref name="teen">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> However, according to the video [[Song of Christian]], he failed [[English]] class during his sophomore year of high school.

Chris is very proud of the fact that he was mainstreamed throughout high school, even though, in the extended slideshow, the captions under the majority of his teachers' names say "special education". This implies that Chris was mainstreamed to the extent that he attended the same school as his typically functioning peers, but nothing more than that. He also rode on the "freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus", an experience which haunts him to this day.<ref name="Jackie Chat 9">[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>

Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] (and a "manager", [[Chris and reality|according to him]]) for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery "M" for this work.<ref name="teen" />

==Known Accomplishments==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]]]

;10th Grade
* [[Song of Christian|F in English Class]]

;12th Grade
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story "[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]"
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]"
{{-}}

==Social life==
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]

Most of Chris's friends were [[gal-pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating "odd" and "even" days). There were immature boys on the school bus, which he dreaded. Chris's purported friends:
* [[Kellie Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]
* Sarah B.<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], pages 9 and 13</ref>
* Miranda, partner in Science class<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 14</ref>
* Molly, happy and giggly<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6</ref>
* [[Joseph Herring]]
* Brian, [[JERK|boyfriend]] of Sarah<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8</ref>

{{-}}
==Go Lancers!==

Chris's servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other males throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory. So much so, that he continues to obsess over it '''ten years''' after graduating.

A few references were slipped into the comic. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Manchester High was featured heavily. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu]] back in time to [[1996#1996|1996,]] when Chris was a student. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleading outfit.

In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.

{{-}}

==The Bus==

At age 15, Chris was "demoted" from the regular school bus to the Special Ed bus. Out of all the weird, embarrassing details of his life that he has no problem discussing, this is one experience that he has rarely spoken about. It's clear that Chris was scarred by this experience of being forced to spend time with the seriously mentally handicapped, or "slow-in-the-mind retards" as he calls them.

Chris switched to the Bus of Doom after a confrontation with another student on the Normal Bus. Much like every other time Chris claims to have been physically assaulted, it is unclear exactly what happened. He has only told the story twice;<ref name="Jackie Chat 9"/><ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref> in one version it sounds like Chris started a fight because he wanted to get off the bus first, and in the other version it sounds like a [[niggo]] punched him for no reason. Whatever happened, Chris cites this incident as the reason for his exclusion from Gen Pop.

==The Seinor Prom==

Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. [[Gal-pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris (and arguably seemed like hours to Tiffany too). Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]</ref> That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.

===Gallery===

<center><gallery>
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|"Don't go gropin' anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'."
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Chris was probably more interested in the food than the two young ladies.
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point.
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue!
</gallery></center>

==Graduation==

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris actually looking kinda classy, in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]

For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]</ref>

{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had [[Chris and English|MORE FANCIER]] AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and Anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]]!

I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.
}}

[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:<ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(

[...]

I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, "Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright."

Even now as I type this, I am still *&$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].
}}

The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==Lingering attachments==
Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at an [[autistic]] child in a public school can get you suspended.

Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: "I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated." A good half a dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and past sweethearts]]" (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.

There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, where Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga.

==Reunion plans==
{{quote|I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.|Chris on his "Promised Reunion"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref>}}

In his "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts" page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris notes that he looks forward to attending his class reunion. He doesn't know exactly when this will take place, and made no effort to find out about it until mid-2010, as he assumed somebody from the school would have contacted him with directions by then.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], wherein he reveals that, up to that point, he hadn't heard anything about a coming reunion. He decided to organize one himself, only to give up relatively quickly. In [[November 2010]], there may have been a class reunion, but either way, Chris did not attend.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|Tungsten. That is all.
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Honor roll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.chesterfield.k12.va.us/Schools/Manchester_HS/home.html Homepage]
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Wikipedia article on Manchester High School]]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2011-12-04T16:24:30Z

I Be Bobby Boulders: /* Lyrics */

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Music stolen from the much more successful song "Macarena" and title ripped off from the similarly popular "[[Wikipedia:Mellow Yellow|Mellow Yellow]]". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|site]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]], where Chris lists "Yellow is a Mellow Color" in his "Random Ramblings" to demonstrate his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous (to [[Chris|whom]], GodBear only knows).

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Yellow Is a Mellow Color"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dh34cJM63Fg}}
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = [[Random-access humor]]
| style =
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| next = [[Feel So Lonesome]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Wikipedia:Los del Río|Los del Río]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Macarena (song)|Macarena]]"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is; it's a mellow color 
[[Sonichu]] zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 
[[Slow-in-the-minds|Ahh!]]

Feeling the condensation 
Living in [[CWCville|my nation]] 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
[[Yawning Squirtle|Take a chill pill and dance]] 
Yellow is a mellow color

[''indecipherable''] ... mellow 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap!

This [[Niggo|little monkey]] he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Pickles|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is; it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is; it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is; it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]