https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=ImegyvadovCWCki - User contributions [en]2026-05-02T06:07:36ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.37.6https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mary_Lee_Walsh&diff=126803Mary Lee Walsh2010-11-24T03:41:29Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|You're not gonna get a Girlfriend, this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]] (and in [[CWCipedia]]). Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] who thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]] and suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She is one of the most important people in Chris's history, as she is one of the few people who saw through Chris's [[autistic]] bullshit and tried to make him act like a normal human being. <br />
<br />
The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still the one of the chief villains in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' fanfic. All hail the Dean!<br />
<br />
By early [[2009]], Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh, beginning with his [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam'''. For the next several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including a drawing sent to her house, to which she responded with a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to truly earn his forgiveness.<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very attractive in person.]]<br />
Walsh is the Dean of Student Affairs at the PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance (srsly&lt;ref>[http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html]&lt;/ref>). In the past, Chris had been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, and she finally delivered the crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[sign|attraction sign]]. [[Chris and Reality|According to Chris]] Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed at all.<br />
<br />
Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings and continued to place ads for his "love quest" all over the PVCC campus. Walsh, most likely pissed off that this retard kept defying her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. After what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. This resulted in a year-long expulsion from PVCC. He was forced to take [[anger]] management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.&lt;ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
===Soul-crusher===<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Black]] impersonating [[Jerkops|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&amp;*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[GodJesus|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
===Emails with Mary===<br />
&lt;div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''&lt;br><br />
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM'''&lt;br><br />
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu'''&lt;br><br />
'''Subject: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
-I will never hang notes on the wall again.&lt;br><br />
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.&lt;br><br />
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).&lt;br><br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
&lt;/div><br />
&lt;br><br />
&lt;div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh &lt;mwalsh@pvcc.edu>'''&lt;br><br />
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''&lt;br><br />
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am'''&lt;br><br />
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Christian:<br />
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.&lt;/div><br />
&lt;br><br />
&lt;div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''&lt;br><br />
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net'''&lt;br><br />
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time'''&lt;br><br />
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''<br />
<br />
Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or [[Virginia]] ), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).<br />
<br />
You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?<br />
<br />
&lt;font style="background-color: #87CEEB">As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&amp;^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".&lt;/font><br />
<br />
But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.<br />
<br />
You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan. <br />
&lt;/div><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==<br />
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]][[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Despite the fact that Chris hates Mary Lee Walsh, this didn't stop him from picking up his markers and making hideous porn of her.]]<br />
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris obsessed over his HEART-SHATTERING defeat and had to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. Chris began to turn her into a villain in his mind, envisioning himself as a conquering hero. Walsh begins to appear in a lot of Chris's works as the ever-present antagonist opposing his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, failing to remember that the comic series was supposed to be about Sonichu, not him}}<br />
<br />
In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick, sinister grin and pitchfork. In a witty [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. She is motivated by a hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only real tactic is send [[jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself. <br />
<br />
Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Curiously, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, and Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once shattered his heart and she is frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh seem to represent all of Chris's misgivings about adult life--the trauma of graduating his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his collegiate career. However, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] Chris also gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the battle between a chubby virgin and a old lady to an epic struggle between a ridiculous Sonic recolor and an old lady with a scepter.<br />
<br />
During her reign of terror Walsh threatened the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil. (Mary simply relocates to [[Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations.) In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring his Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] , Mary seized the opportunity and prepared to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil was finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] when Chris used the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroyed Graduon's scepter and easily overpowered her, leaving her paralyzed before sending her to prison.<br />
<br />
A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is she is to blame for everything. Just as, in real life, Chris believed that Walsh was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes, in the comics Mary really is the one pulling all the strings. Virtually all of her Jerkops are simply victims of brainwashing. Many of her other followers show the potential for good, but she herself is beyond redemption. Even Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter.<br />
<br />
===Renaming and retcons===<br />
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Anyone but Hslaw Eel Yram!]]<br />
<br />
As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In a remarkable display of subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became '''"Slaweel Ryam"''' or '''"Slaweel the Witch"'''. This is very subtle - as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing! No one will figure this out - especially when the notice regarding the name change, with old and new names, was posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form (that would require originality, which Chris obviously lacks). The name seems to be an evolution of '''"Hslaw Eel Yram"''', which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards: in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw said card.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled 'TwoMarys'] where he tried to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Basically, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0 where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris has essentially created a paradox in his comic's timeline - he's made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but the way he's retconned it Slaweel [[Fail|hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place]]. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's ''"sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years"'' but on the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys 'TwoMarys' page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==<br />
{{see also|Soul Calibur}}<br />
<br />
It is debatable whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the tar out of Mrs. Walsh. Chris created himself and many other real life friends and enemies in the game ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'', so that he could take out his pent up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. [[Fail|It should be noted that Chris is terrible at ''Soul Calibur'', and appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest setting.]]<br />
<br />
==Possible reconciliation==<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]<br />
<br />
Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began reexamining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia to distinguish her from "Slaweel":<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys&lt;/ref>}}<br />
<br />
The article rambles on, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research", detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to the Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.<br />
<br />
Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, and she thanked him by telling his parents not to let their retard son on her campus anymore.<br />
<br />
Apparently, Mary didn't give a shit and Chris was crushed.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26&lt;ref>[[Mailbag 26]]&lt;/ref>}}<br />
<br />
==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==<br />
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]<br />
<br />
In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by depicting Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon girl (which he was sure to fap to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been Rule 34 fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots.<br />
<br />
''[[Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' posits that she has an extremely deep voice (a la Dr. Girlfriend from ''[[Wikipedia:Venture bros.|The Venture Bros]].''), but other than that she's still drawn with the extremely sensualized proportions seen in other troll artwork. <br />
<br />
Mary Lee Walsh is also the actual protagonist of ''[[Sonichu Finale]]'' webcomic series. <br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Here be DAT ASS. Mostly NSFW.<br />
|&lt;gallery perrow=4><br />
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Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg<br />
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg<br />
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:Cc5.jpg<br />
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg<br />
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png<br />
Image:Makeitup.png<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh Vore by Metalforever.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg<br />
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg<br />
Image:Mlw.png<br />
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:MLWsis.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png<br />
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg<br />
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg<br />
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png<br />
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Creepy_stare&diff=126802Creepy stare2010-11-24T03:41:24Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://abigumydive.co.cc Under Construction! Please Visit Reserve Page. Page Will Be Available Shortly]=<br />
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=[http://abigumydive.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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[[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|thumb|He thinks it's cool]]<br />
<br />
The verdict is in. You gonna get [[rape]]d.<br />
<br />
[[Chris]] seems to employ multiple '''stares''', all trying to project a different emotion and all nearly identical to each other, a la Derek Zoolander. He has used them to display anger, frustration, romantic interest, or sometimes an intentional lack of emotion, almost like an autistic variant of a poker face. Like many of Chris's strange [[CWC-isms|mannerisms]], this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; autistics tend to have difficulty understanding and expressing the kind of non-verbal social cues that are second nature to most people.<br />
<br />
Chris may think that his stare is a sexy and seductive gaze or an intimidating glare that will force his adversaries into submission, but to ordinary observers, it invariably comes across as creepy or out-of-place. <br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:Creepy-Stare3.jpg<br />
Image:Creepy-Stare5.jpg<br />
Image:Creepy-Stare1.jpg<br />
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|You just know he's planning [[Rape|something]] based on that expression.<br />
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|This photo almost makes you feel sorry for [[Anna McLerran|that bitch]]...<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|Learning at an [[1980s|early age]].<br />
Image:Modnationstare.png|He even incorporates it into [[Video games|video games]]<br />
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|Possibly the most frightening [[Nudes|clothed]] image of Chris.<br />
Image:Whatthefuckiswithhisrighteye.jpg|Srsly, what the fuck is with his right eye?<br />
Image:Csof111.JPG<br />
Image:295.jpg<br />
Image:Chris2.jpg|For some strange reason or another, Chris thinks his gaze is sensual.<br />
Image:Cwc_csof.JPG<br />
Image:1240785819569.jpg|BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.<br />
Image:Creepychris.jpg|CHIIIIIIINNNAAAAAAA...<br />
File:CWCstare1.png|[[Sonichu 10|OBJECTION!]]<br />
File:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|''Fun for the whole family!'']]<br />
File:Creepy-Stare6.jpg|In the dark...<br />
File:Creepystare.jpg|...Even from within the [[Time Void|Abyss]].<br />
File:Simonlaweed.jpg|Dat Face.<br />
File:0476-CWC18th7.jpg|Chris as he's about to molest his birthday presents.<br />
File:Strangle that Frieza.JPG<br />
File:Myspace.jpg|The stare has the power to shine in even the [[Chris's room|darkest caves]].<br />
File:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|[[Bob]] can do it too!<br />
File:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg| ...So can [[Barb]]!<br />
File:Creepy boat.jpg|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]] (after [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|sinking your boat]])<br />
File:AHikeStare.jpg<br />
File:100 2299.JPG|Why, Chris? Why?<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Pedo-Glasses]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
<br />
* [http://cwcstare.ytmnd.com/ Chris-chan stares into your soul.]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB0KPHqjwZw Tribute to the creepy stare.]<br />
<br />
{{Mannerisms}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Creepy stare}}<br />
[[Category:Mannerisms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Facebook_messages&diff=126801Facebook messages2010-11-24T03:41:23Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://uwujojedeh.co.cc Under Construction! Please Visit Reserve Page. Page Will Be Available Shortly]=<br />
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=[http://uwujojedeh.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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On 31 [[May 2009]], [[Chris's]] '''[[Facebook]]''' account was hacked and found to contain several communications with [[boyfriend-free girls]] from the [[Charlottesville]] area. This is Chris's TRUE and HONEST correspondence with these women (and occasionally men) from circa January [[2008]].<br />
<br />
Notable messages include Chris talking with a rambunctious 17-year-old girl who "loves to party" and Chris promising he would not lay a finger on her (until she turned 18, at least), a young man threatening Chris for messaging his lady friend, and a woman who actually accepted Chris's invitation for a coffee but was rejected by Chris when he found out she's a single mother.<br />
<br />
== Christina Katherine Trevillian ==<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hi. :)<br />
<br />
January 23 at 1:10am<br />
<br />
Hi, Christina. I have read your profile, and I find you quite interesting. You're pretty, honest and smart.&lt;br><br />
If you'd like, I'd like to meet you for a soda or coffee and get to know you better over a pleasant conversation.&lt;br><br />
I also hope you will accept my friend request I have submitted earlier.&lt;br><br />
Please reply if it's all cool. :)<br />
<br />
Have a good day.<br />
<br />
Peace,&lt;br><br />
Christian Chandler.<br />
<br />
PS&lt;br><br />
Forgive me for asking, I do not mean to offend, but how old are you?&lt;br><br />
You didn't list your birthdate or age, you've listed that you're in High School, and I would not want to take advantage of a possible minor.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 27 at 5:27pm<br />
<br />
umm okay well im seventeen and about to be 18 in a few months but yeah i love to party and all that good shit so hit me up}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 27 at 5:59pm<br />
<br />
Cool, Christina. While I don't know what it means to "hit me up", I'll assume it means to talk to you more. :)<br />
<br />
Please let me know where and when you'd like to meet for the coffee or soda in an e-mail to my address at CWCSonichu@aol.com.<br />
<br />
Also, while I will tell you anything you'd like to know between e-mails and person to person conversations, I'd like to get the ball rolling with a few simple Qs you may answer in your first e-mail to me. What's your favorite color? What else do you like to do in your spare time (drawing, writing, etc.)? Do you live with your family? You're in your Junior year in High School, right? Is there anything else other than what you have listed in your profile that fascinates you? You live in the Greene County area, where specifically (Ruckersville, Standardsville, etc.)?<br />
<br />
In your first e-mail to me, please use "Hi :) " in the subject, so I'll know it came from you.<br />
<br />
I look forward to meeting you in person and learning more about you. And if you need a tutor for a school subject, I can probably help you; I've excelled in math and english subjects; y yo tom'e dos anos de Espa~nol in mi escuela secundaria (and I took two years of Spanish in my High School).<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
<br />
Chris Chan.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Another thing while I'm thinkin' about it,<br />
<br />
January 27 at 7:03pm<br />
<br />
please accept my friend request I've previously sent you.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 28 at 12:30pm<br />
<br />
okay yeah well heres the thing...1st of all im seventeen and ur to old....and 2nd of all u know ur to old for me...and 3rd of all im not into all that chirstian shit but i would still love to be friends with you... and i dont know very many chiristians who like to party, cause im a hard core party girl.! so...}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 28 at 12:43pm<br />
<br />
No, nothing like what you may be thinking; I just wanted to be friends with you; I'd wait untill you were at least 18 before taking it further. Also, I CAN party; I just don't get invited much. There's nothing wrong with simply meeting for a pleasant conversation and soda pop; I promise I would not lay a finger on you.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 29 at 4:33pm<br />
<br />
where do u live cause i aint driving far}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 30 at 12:21am<br />
<br />
I live in Ruckersville of Greene County, so I don't live far from you, I'm sure. But I meant like meeting at a McDonalds or Burger King for the soda and conversation; I'll invite you over to my place after a few meetings, and getting to know each other. Believe me, it's a good house with a good daylilly garden my father put together, and I come from a good family.<br />
<br />
Please let me know where and when you'd like to meet.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 30 at 12:23pm<br />
<br />
okay well a little fyi im on probation and house arrest and i might get locked up tomorrow for breaking my probation so lets just take it day by day&lt;br><br />
i mean i dont know u at all and people might talk about me hanging with some older dude who i dont know!&lt;br><br />
but i DO hang at dq ( dairy queen ) every day after school&lt;br><br />
so drop by and see if u can find me&lt;br><br />
halla boy}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 30 at 1:46pm<br />
<br />
Goodness. How did you manage that spot of trouble? Anyway, I am cool with taking it day by day; we have plenty of time to learn about each other.&lt;br><br />
U talking about the Dairy Queen at Forest Lakes, right? I may swing by one day; what time does your school let out?&lt;br><br />
Also, we can chat over the internet if you have AIM; please let me know if you have AIM (or an AOL account with Instant Messaging) and when you'll be online.&lt;br><br />
Have you read my profile; you can learn a lot about me from there.&lt;br><br />
Please don't let the age difference deter our friendship; if it makes you feel better, you may think of me as an exchange student you're getting to know.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'll get the ball rolling on telling you a bit about me. I'm 5'10", nearsighted (so I wear glasses), my favorite color is blue, both of my eyes were blue, but I had pink eye in the right one and had to take eyedrops which changed its color to green. I like to be artistic in drawing or building; I have pages of my electric-hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu and the cast of characters in his world, as well as a few comic books I've put together of me and Sonichu (BTW, DO NOT FALL for the web pages that talk ill about me; they're just cyber bullies). I play video games often; favorites are Sonic the Hedgehog and Guitar Hero. I've earned Honor Roll throughout my Middle and High Schools, and graduated from H.S. I've already mentioned my CADD degree I've earned from PVCC (I've also made the Dean's List there). I like all kinds of music; my father raised me on the classics, including Jazz. But I've found a good liking towards light rock and Pop (Britney Spears is choice).<br />
<br />
Currently, I like watching the programming on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim(tm). I enjoy "Family Guy", "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", "Robot Chicken" and "Lucy, The Daughter of The Devil" is a funny show. I also watch the classics I've grown up with myself sometimes, like Charlie Brown, Transformers, Smurfs and the classic My Little Pony shows to name a few.<br />
<br />
I currently live with my mother and father, and we have like five cats. We had a dog, part beagle, part spitz, but she passed away over a year ago; bless her heart. Her name was Patti, she was born on St. Patrick's Day, and she lived to be 18 in human years. She was a sweet dog, but she lives on looking down on me and my family.<br />
<br />
Okay, I gtg, so I'll talk to you later (on AIM maybe). You take care now.<br />
<br />
Peace;<br />
<br />
Chris Chan.}}<br />
<br />
== Christy Backe ==<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hi Christy :)<br />
<br />
January 22 at 10:55pm<br />
<br />
I hope you've been well. Happy Birthday.&lt;br><br />
Thank you for sending me the kiss the other day. You're a nice gal. If I may, I'd like to meet you for a soda or coffee and get to know you better through pleasant conversation. Please reply if you'd like that. Have a good day.<br />
<br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 23 at 4:54pm<br />
<br />
Thanks for the offer. I am a single mom so I dont have alot of time to go out but thats does sound real nice.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 23 at 8:06pm<br />
<br />
Oh. I was looking for a woman without children; I didn't know that you were a mother. I'm sorry.&lt;br><br />
But you are a good woman, and I'm certain that you've been a good mother too. I'm certain that you will find a good man soon.&lt;br><br />
Let me ask you, do you know any [[boyfriend-free girl|18-25-year old single women]] who might like me? I would appreciate any help I can get in finding the one who would be my Sweetheart, and help me realize my dream of me fathering a pretty daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler.&lt;br><br />
Thank you for your help.&lt;br><br />
Take care,&lt;br><br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 27 at 4:52pm<br />
<br />
No I don't know anyone single. If I run across anyone I will let you know. Good luck with your dream. You sound like a nice guy I wish you alot of luck. Im still looking myself but for now I just want to go out and have some fun. Well you take care and you can still hitt me up as a friend. ttyl}}<br />
<br />
== Joshua Masonheimer ==<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 22 at 10:13pm<br />
<br />
hey man just to warn you, you need to leave danielle alone. she doesnt like you.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 22 at 10:20pm<br />
<br />
Well, that was uncalled for; my heart was in enough pain without that statement.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 22 at 10:31pm<br />
<br />
Why doesn't Danielle like me?}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|January 22 at 10:33pm<br />
<br />
cause she just doesnt. and you need to back off or all her friends will make you}}<br />
<br />
== Other ==<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hi :)<br />
<br />
Between Ashley Nicole Morris and You<br />
<br />
January 23 at 7:48pm<br />
<br />
Thank you for adding me as a friend.<br />
<br />
You're a cute and sweet gal, if I may, I'd like to meet you for a soda or coffee and get to know you better through pleasant conversation. Please reply if you'd like that.<br />
<br />
Have a good day.<br />
<br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hey, Vanessa<br />
<br />
Between Meghana Illendula and You<br />
<br />
January 22 at 8:28pm<br />
<br />
I hope you and Joshua and Brittany are doing well. It's been a few weeks, and I still feel soooo sorry about that thing I said. I wish I could turn back time and take it back. My heart is recovering very slowly; it's at like 15%. I'm not blaming you; I blame myself. I miss chattin' with you and whatnot. I am depressed and lonesome.<br />
<br />
I am trying to move on. I've started going back to hangin' at the Alderman Library, but I don't know if I'll be found by a Girl, Period. The only thing I can do is hope and pray, yet that does not look like enough to get through this modern society. The lonliness hurts the remaining 85% of my heart sadly.<br />
<br />
I wish y'all would be my friends again, and as much as I'd like to ask y'all to, I wouldn't want to start anything bad.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I've just been a lonesome sap, wallowing in my own filth of shame, killing time trying to make new friends, yet not hearing anything back. And societies' constant lovey-dovey illustrations, while so much better than the violent images, taunts me ever so.<br />
<br />
But I'm probably killing time away typing this message, but I am typing it because I care about you, Vanessa, as the greatest friend I could ever have that got away. Please come back.<br />
<br />
Best of luck to y'all.<br />
<br />
Peace;<br />
<br />
Christian W. Chandler, a lonely Autistic, heart-shattered sap.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Between You and Mia Helsley<br />
<br />
January 22 at 2:05pm<br />
<br />
do i know you???}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 22 at 2:25pm<br />
<br />
Well, I am not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me. But you may read my profile to freshen up on the knowledge.<br />
<br />
The main idea is making friends and learning about each other.<br />
<br />
I am a good person now, and I'll still be as kind once you get to know me.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hey, Danielle :)<br />
<br />
Between Danielle House and You<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Christian Weston Chandler<br />
<br />
January 17 at 12:51am<br />
<br />
Thank you for accepting me as your friend.<br />
<br />
I do not have many true friends outside the internet. If you can find the free time, please feel free to look me up at the Alderman Library on a Tuesday or Thursday afternoon, and we can converse over a coffee or a soda. I look forward to meeting you. Have a good day. :)<br />
<br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hi :)<br />
<br />
Between Danielle House and You<br />
<br />
January 21 at 8:11pm<br />
<br />
I hope you've read my profile, because I've read yours. :)<br />
<br />
I've also enjoyed Jessica Alba's performance in "Into the Blue" on UMD and Blu-Ray; she was strong when she freed herself from the handcuffs and punched the lights out of the pirates. I've also enjoyed "Good Luck Chuck".<br />
<br />
Anyhoo, Danielle, I find you really cute, honest and neat. If I may, I would like to meet you for a soda or coffee and get to know you better through a pleasant conversation.<br />
<br />
Please reply soon, and have a good day.<br />
<br />
Peace, ♥ :)<br />
<br />
Christian Chandler}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|??<br />
<br />
Between You and Lisa Lynn Oktayuren<br />
<br />
January 20 at 9:01pm<br />
<br />
Do i know u??}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Christian Weston Chandler<br />
<br />
January 20 at 9:39pm<br />
<br />
Well, I am not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me. But you may read my profile to freshen up on the knowledge.<br />
<br />
The main idea is making friends and learning about each other.<br />
<br />
I am a good person now, and I'll still be as kind once you get to know me.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your consideration.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Thank you<br />
<br />
Between Rachel Davis and You<br />
<br />
January 19 at 8:33pm<br />
<br />
Thank you, Rachel for calling me cute. I haven't got many complements from the women; I was worried that I was homely, and your generous complement made me feel better.<br />
<br />
Thank you again.<br />
<br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Between You and Joshua Alba<br />
<br />
January 9 at 7:30pm<br />
<br />
hey man<br />
<br />
wuz up???? so wanny stop by and check up on you???}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 10 at 12:28am<br />
<br />
That would be good, buddy.<br />
<br />
I've sent Vanessa an apologetic e-mail; I hope she's read it; I've put a lot of what was left of my hurt heart into it.<br />
<br />
I was honestly confused when I said that dumb and stupid thing.<br />
<br />
Anyway, it has been decided unanimously among myself that I would go back to hanging by myself at the Alderman Library on tuesday and thursday afternoons as of Martin Luther King Jr's birthday, next tuesday to resume my enduring and lonesome Sweetheart Search.<br />
<br />
I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine", and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."<br />
<br />
I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.<br />
<br />
ttyl<br />
<br />
Chris Chan}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|January 10 at 12:34am<br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
<br />
If you'd still like the "Girlfriend Brittney" skin for your phone, I still do not have a pic of her.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Historical Documents]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Gal_pal&diff=126800Gal pal2010-11-24T03:41:15Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://otyxemydu.co.cc UNDER COSTRUCTION, PLEASE SEE THIS POST IN RESERVE COPY]=<br />
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=[http://otyxemydu.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Kellie Andes]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel]], [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], Friend Brought Along, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]<br />
<br />
A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian's]] [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for a female friend who is a TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in [[Manchester_High_School|high school]]. He has also claimed that [[Megan]] said she loved him, so we know his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]] isn't very strong. <br />
<br />
==Chris and gal-pals==<br />
Chris opted for gal-pals in lieu of having male friends due to the belief that hanging out with other males would turn him [[homos|gay]] and that they're all [[JERKS|jerks]] anyway. Because Chris blatantly refused to socialize with other males like himself throughout his school years, he has adopted rather feminine traits and mannerisms (Such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position during the sex tape video, or having a collection of [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponies]]), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for the females would be considered taboo for guys.<br />
<br />
In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. Chris believes that due to all his "Gal Pals" he had his pick of the girls to make his [[sweetheart]] and that he missed out on the opportunities during [[high school]], oblivious that these girls probably associated with him due to pity rather than desiring a real friendship with Chris. <br />
<br />
It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only [[gay]] men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his [[women's rights|sexism]]. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, like a normal human being would; he sees them as possible [[china]].<br />
<br />
==List of Gal-Pals==<br />
* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]<br />
* [[Virginia Sanford]]<br />
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]<br />
* [[Kellie Lyn Andes]]<br />
* [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]<br />
* [[Anna McLerran]]<br />
* [[Megan Schroeder]]<br />
* [[Sarah Jackson]]<br />
* [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]<br />
* [[Ivy O'Neil]]<br />
* [[Kacey Devoria]]<br />
* [[The Wallflower]]<br />
<br />
==Other Gal-Pals==<br />
===Tiffany Robinson===<br />
'''Tiffany Robinson''' was a friend of Chris in the days that he lived in [[Richmond]]. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words ''"we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."''<br />
<br />
===Natasha Turner===<br />
'''Natasha Turner''' was a friend of Chris's who he met at [[Providence Middle School]], and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.<br />
<br />
===Sarah Anne Bevel===<br />
[[File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' (in red, on the left) and '''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' (in black, next to her).]] <br />
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' was Chris's classmate at [[Manchester High]]. She had a sweetheart there, named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up somewhere in the [[2000s]].<br />
<br />
===Molly Quarles===<br />
'''Molly Quarles''' was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was ''"the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."''<br />
<br />
===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===<br />
'''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was ''"a big brain of my Circle of Friends."'' Miranda helped out Chris in his early website creating days by redesigning the [[CWC's PokéSite 2!]] Logo.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1<br />
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2<br />
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
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[[Category:Gal pals]]<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]<br />
[[Category:Lists]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_anger&diff=126799Chris and anger2010-11-24T03:41:10Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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&lt;center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}&lt;/center><br />
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[[Chris]] has '''anger''' management issues. These usually surface when he is under [[stress]].<br />
<br />
== Causes of Chris's anger ==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Rawr_fag.jpg|thumb|A typical fit of tard rage.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]] whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him alone up in a room full of toys when he was a year old. [[Chris's room|How ironic.]]<br />
<br />
Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could be his father, Bob. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely be afraid to retaliate to the things Bob does that annoy him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob walks in|cutting down the Internet]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].<br />
<br />
Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that as of the time of writing, as well as long after, Chris is still a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]]. Being a virgin seems to make Chris feel like he is entitled to being allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only manages to [[masturbation|jack off]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he has large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just has to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, Chris is autistic and therefore cannot understand the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry he sees no reason why he should not go positively nuts. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces usually means that autistic '''children''' are very short tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child - he is an autistic adult, and to be honest most other autistics have learned how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they are Chris's age. Chris has not. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'' - which is apparently directly brought about from Chris's autism.<br />
<br />
But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that its his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.<br />
<br />
Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough...<br />
<br />
== Examples of Chris's anger ==<br />
<br />
The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered [[autism|confusing]], to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage he began to shout [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at several [[jerkops]] who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Walmart]]. Most normal people do not shout [[Megan|anime]] references at people who are making them angry. Chris, however, expresses anger like a retarded Internet tough guy would do, taking out his anger on a video camera seeing as he knows it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat people up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared from expressing his anger IRL, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.<br />
<br />
{{quote|"Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in."|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}<br />
<br />
A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|strangle him]] some day, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes.<br />
<br />
On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day", or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to the conflict between these extremes.<br />
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{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the police. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash]]}}<br />
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Occasionally when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two emails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]]—the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all caps phrase. The second sounds more angry and possibly a bit desperate.<br />
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{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about}}<br />
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{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. SURLY you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700}}<br />
<br />
Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll and Chris beat it like a spoiled 3 year old who didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proves us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box but unable to go through light press-wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.<br />
<br />
{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the [[Chris Loses It]] video}}<br />
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Another recent example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people even on the telephone. In his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris quickly became rude to Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his health and his attitude. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "Ian Brandon Anderson" and was completely oblivious over the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his stammering and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.<br />
<br />
Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[Trolls|adoring fans]], another factor that causes Chris some notable grief was discovered: the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:<br />
<br />
{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger syndrome}}<br />
<br />
It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to be of the opinion that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person.]]<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Virgin with rage]]<br />
*[[Death threats]]<br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}<br />
[[Category: Chris-chan]]<br />
<br />
&lt;div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: Tardrage.png]] &lt;/div></div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Zapina&diff=126798Zapina2010-11-24T03:41:05Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|Zapina is a fast-talking, very energetic, spunky, inquisitive little gal.|- [[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Chris]], [[pedofork|describing his ideal partner]]}}<br />
[[Image:Zapina.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Curse those dumb laws!]]<br />
'''Zapina''' is a fourteen-year-old [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] who longs to strip for [[women's rights]]. She's part-Insect... somehow, meaning she has wings and her ass glows. Where did she come from? How and why is she so much younger than all the other characters? Nobody knows, and fortunately, nobody gives a damn.<br />
<br />
==Appearance==<br />
Surprisingly, Zapina does not appear to be ripped-off wholesale from any other existing character. She does have the yellow color and ears of [[Pikachu]], as well as the eye style of a [[Sonic]] character, but the fact that she's part-Insect is all original. Yes, you read that right: for once, Chris has "created" something that is only somewhat derivative.<br />
<br />
Despite existing solely as a means for Chris to somehow disprove criticisms on [[Pedofork|pedophilia]], she is easily the skankiest-dressed Rosechu in the series. She wears clothing that most mothers would never dream of letting their daughters wear: a miniskirt, an open jacket and a tube top, displaying her prominent cleavage. Furthermore, the liberal use of her ass is a minor plot point.<br />
<br />
==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==<br />
At the gals' protest strip for [[women's rights]], Zapina begs the fascist [[Rosechu]] to allow her to get naked for the camera. Sensibly, Rosechu won't allow her to be present (citing "dumb laws"), until [[Lolisa]] promises to look after her. She helps by using her powers to provide light for their retarded little strip protest. The light is in her ass. This is still basically child porn.<br />
<br />
==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==<br />
In the [[dating education]] episode, we see [[Simonla]] outside CWCville U talking to Zapina. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend" which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16 year old boy". <br />
<br />
[[Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Someone needs to call Chris Hansen...]]<br />
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==Pedoforkism==<br />
This makes a grand total of three Rosechus who have hinted that they would like to exploit Zapina. The first is Rosechu, who mentioned those gosh darn laws; second is Lolisa, who says it's A-OK for a child to be around women stripping nude; and now Simonla seems to be trying to nudge Zapina into a sexual relationship of her own.<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
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[[Category:Characters]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_money&diff=126797Chris and money2010-11-24T03:41:00Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]&lt;ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]&lt;/ref>}} <br />
<br />
It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.&lt;ref>[[Chris Chan Q&amp;A 27 October 2008]]&lt;/ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).&lt;ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.<br />
<br />
==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==<br />
<br />
Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.&lt;ref>Miyamoto Saga&lt;/ref> This payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.&lt;ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]&lt;/ref>&lt;ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]&lt;/ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month - more commonly known as "food stamps."<br />
<br />
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, [[Chris_and_His_Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].}} <br />
<br />
[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260 - $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.<br />
<br />
A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his [[Barb|coddling]] [[Bob|parents]] are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him fast food on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and [[sex toys|useless stuff]], as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that his [[target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.<br />
<br />
Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.&lt;ref>[[Mailbag 34]]&lt;/ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.<br />
<br />
Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.<br />
<br />
==Credit cards==<br />
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails_2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.<br />
<br />
By then, Bob Chandler had had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues vast amounts of interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.<br />
<br />
In July of 2010, it was revealed by Chris in an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]] that Bob has assisted in managing his raging debt, and now Bob gets another $100 out of the monthly tugboat in compensation. This act of parental scapegoating had potentially cleared Chris's future to be free of bad credit and crushing debt, had he not already accuired another credit card, without his parent's permission or knowledge. He is already paying $50 a month on it, suggesting that he has had it for some time, as well as returning to his habit of paying only the minimum. The countdown to his next act of financial dumbassery begins (but his play of the Autism Card was immediate)...<br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]<br />
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, a la North Korea.<br />
<br />
This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is in the United States, and states, let alone cities, while having considerable power, cannot print their own money. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states used to issue their own money - when they were colonies, and during hard times like the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.<br />
<br />
==In other works==<br />
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to frution in one American city...]}}<br />
<br />
Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as a building ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.&lt;ref>[[Mailbag 20]]&lt;/ref> Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.<br />
<br />
In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for [[virgin]]s. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.<br />
<br />
Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping.<br />
== On TV ==<br />
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, à-la the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|24]]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.<br />
<br />
Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].<br />
<br />
== Best Buy Mastercard ==<br />
<br />
In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it was revealed by Bob himself that Chris not only has a Mastercard charge account acquired through Best Buy, but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claims that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.<br />
<br />
Bob continues that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris' credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seems to use this damning information to try to make Chris' latest brush with the [[Law]] seem "petty" in comparison.<br />
<br />
There are three possibilities as to what has actually occurred (from least to most likely):<br />
* Trolls have achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.<br />
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme has, just by chance, hit Chris.<br />
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and is now blaming his crippling debt on [[Trolls]], in another transparent attempt to not have to take responsibility.<br />
<br />
<br />
In the [[Jackie_E-mails_7|Jackie Emails]], it was discovered that Chris took out the Mastercard without his parent's permission. He only told them about it when he received two bounced check fees that would show up on his bank statement, which his father is now actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to pay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled: He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his debit card. Chris is now paid only in Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to occur any more debt. The prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie_E-mails_8|stressed him out]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Monthly tugboat]]<br />
<br />
==Sauce==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}<br />
<br />
[[Category: Chris-chan]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Electric_Hedgehog_Pok%C3%A9mon&diff=126796Electric Hedgehog Pokémon2010-11-24T03:40:59Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[File:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|350px|Evolution chart, used as a basis if Christian's horrible recolors were ever used in future Pokémon Games.]]<br />
<br />
The '''Electric Hedgehog Pokémon''' are a fictitious group of [[Pokémon]] created by [[Christian Weston Chandler]].<br />
<br />
==Male==<br />
Male Electric Hedgehog Pokémon species include:<br />
* [[Sonee]] (larval)<br />
* [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] (adult)<br />
* [[Metonic]] (mature)<br />
Individual male Electric Hedgehog Pokémon include:<br />
* [[Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Black Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Blazebob Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] (Transformation)<br />
* [[Colossal Chan]] (Half-Human Transformation)<br />
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]<br />
* [[CChanSonichuCWC#In_the_comic|IBA Chandler Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Jamsta Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Magi-Chan]]<br />
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]<br />
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (Transformation)<br />
* [[Robbie Sonee]]<br />
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (Transformation)<br />
* [[Wild Sonichu]]<br />
<br />
==Female==<br />
Female Electric Hedgehog Pokémon species include:<br />
* [[Rosee]] (larval)<br />
* [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] (adult)<br />
* [[Vamprosa]] (mature)<br />
Individual female Electric Hedgehog Pokémon include:<br />
* [[Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Angelica Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Bubbles Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Cera Rosee]]<br />
* [[Christine Rosee]]<br />
* [[Chloe Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Crystalina Rosechu]] (transformation)<br />
* [[Lolisa Rosechu]] <br />
* [[Saramah Rosechu]] (transformation)<br />
* [[Sandy Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Silvana Rosechu]] (intersex, born as a Rosee)<br />
* [[Simonla Rosechu]]<br />
* [[Zapina Rosechu]] <br />
* [[Zelina Rosechu]]<br />
<br />
==Pokémon?==<br />
<br />
There's very little to support the idea that the Electric Hedgehogs actually are Pokémon. None of them relies on trainers, all have full powers of speech, and in fact as far as can be seen they're essentially treated as humans in [[CWCville]]. As Sonees and Rosees, they hatch from eggs and "evolve" into their adult forms, but the similarities end there. Only two of them ([[Blazebob Sonichu]] and [[Chloe Rosechu]]) have ever been put into a Poké Ball (although Chris has alluded to placing [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] into [[S-Chu Ball]]s)&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22&lt;/ref>. The closest they get before then is a bizarre inversion when [[Wild Sonichu]] puts two of the [[Sonichu Balls]] (which look like Poké Balls) into his arms. Also, as individual species, Pokémon don't have the vast varieties of powers and appearances that Sonichus and Rosechus have. Finally, Pokémon can only know four moves at a time, whereas Sonichu and company seem to simply have whatever abilities would be convenient at any given moment. Even the ''Pokémon'' anime, which prefers to use the gameplay mechanics as a general rule instead of a physical law, has Pokémon know no more than four moves at once and doesn't have Pokémon use moves that they cannot learn in-game (well, most of the time, but they're usually reasonable mistakes). However, like most of Chris's creations, Sonichus and Rosechus are essentially just Mary Sues, so the fact they can rebel against established Pokémon rules is not altogether surprising.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that Chris will, unsurprisingly, ignore the logic of "Super Effective" unless it suits him. In the games, attacks will have their base power doubled or halved (or nullified altogether) if the opposing Pokémon is weak or resistant to the type of the attack used. This enables weak Pokémon to bring down opponents several levels higher than they; so long as they're weak to their attacks, they'll go down faster. The anime prefers to ignore this rule, and if it's ever invoked, it's done to show how tough a particular Pokémon is. With Chris, though, it's just him being stupid.<br />
<br />
==Trivia==<br />
Note that while very similar, characters such as [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], [[Megagi La Skunk]], and [[Jiggliami]] are not Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Also note that some of the listed characters, [[Simonla]] and [[Silvana]], are not even partially Electric type, making the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon typing a misnomer.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which allows humans to transform into [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<br />
* [[Chaotic Combo]]<br />
* [[Pokemon]]<br />
* [[List of Sonichu characters]]<br />
<br />
[[Category: Sonichu]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mumble_11&diff=126795Mumble 112010-11-24T03:40:55Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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'''Mumble 11''' is the eleventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 4 [[March 2009]].<br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
* [[Chris]] has a cold. He's drinking orange juice and eating chicken noodle soup.<br />
* [[BlueSpike]] appears. [[Fans|Trolls]] shout abuse and Chris calls him a 13-year-old brat. Chris demands he be muted and it is done.<br />
* BlueSpike stole Chris's Yahoo! account. He gave it to him to prove his love for [[Julie]], but he was Julie all along.<br />
* GeckoMantis is surprised Chris thought BlueSpike was a girl.<br />
* Chris is typing loudly in the background, trying to get his [[PSN]] back from BlueSpike.<br />
* Chris can't upload pages because BlueSpike took his website down.<br />
* A troll points out that as Chris's polar opposite, [[Reldnahc]] should be dead. Chris says forget about that, they have opposite characteristics. "I'm straight, he's a homo".<br />
* BlueSpike is unmuted.<br />
* Chris will help a female fan write a hentai story. He will possibly watch porn for inspiration as he needs to know anatomy "between breast sizes and pussies."<br />
* Another fan says that Chris should be more wary of Internet girls. Chris says when he's better he'll start going out in public.<br />
* BlueSpike says that girls might actually talk to Chris now that he doesn't have his [[medallion]]. Chris replies that he can make [[Medallions_of_Fail#Mark 3|another one]] and has the memories linked to the medallion in his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. <br />
* Chris admits [[Julie Reveals Herself|cutting the medallion up and shoving it up his ass]]. He says it hurt.<br />
* BlueSpike is IP banned.<br />
* They verbally abuse BlueSpike.<br />
* Chris says that [[BILLY MAYS]] is not Mayor of [[CWCville]].<br />
* Chris confirms that the medallion has nothing to do with being mayor. BlueSpike questions why they should believe him without his medallion.<br />
* Chris says that the [[ring]] has been linked with the [[medallion]] the whole time.<br />
* The fans say that only the [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|powers]] are transferred. Chris says everything is.<br />
* When challenged that he's not out of the time vortex yet, Chris says he's drawing himself out. [[Chris and reality|He is adamant that this event in the comic is canon to real life]].<br />
* Chris gets on the phone to a fan offering condolences.<br />
* When the redundancy of the medallion is pointed out, Chris says it was like a security blanket. <br />
* The first medallion didn't have a ring holder, but the second did. He transferred his memories from the first to the second, now they have been transferred from the second to the [[ring]].<br />
* Chris offers no comment on [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Rosechu Medallion|his]] [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Jiggliami Medallion|other medallions]], e.g. [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Black Sonichu Medallion|Blachu]].<br />
* Chris gets on the phone with someone who seems to be asking for his parents. He proceeds to talk and lie to this person as if they're a person with some authority over him. Only parts are audible.<br />
* After several minutes, Chris tells the fans he has to go and leaves.<br />
* The fans are left thoroughly confused and annoyed.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
NOTE: I'm only adding in names that are either large names or are directly attributed to in the chat itself.<br />
<br />
[''Several people talking at once; someone says "I can hear you" and as the voices die down someone asks "How are you, Chris?"'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Well, I got a cold. That's one thing how I'm doing.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> Aww, drink orange juice!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Yeah... recently a-... recently a flu virus-...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, I'm drinki- I'm drinkin' plenty ah orange juice and I'm eatin' s- plenty ah chicken noodle soup... but ehyway, ah, ehyway, ah...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0000FF">'''BlueSpike:'''&lt;/font> It's one dollar sweet tea.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Be quiet.&lt;br /><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> You shut up, BlueSpike.&lt;br /><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Shut up, Blue.&lt;br /><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> No one likes you.&lt;br /><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah... Put that 13-year-old brat back in da [''unintelligible''] room&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0000FF">'''BlueSpike:'''&lt;/font> [''unintelligible''] stupid fuck... then you're not getting the Yahoo! account back.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Can somebody mute him, please?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, mute him.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Shut up.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0000FF">'''BlueSpike:'''&lt;/font> Alright, I hope you have fun.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Thank you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> So what's up, Chris?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Ehyway, Mr. 13-year-old brat over dere- [''a girl giggles''] -stole my Yahoo! account.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Ooh...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Oh, wow.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> REALLY!?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> That's unfortunate.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> ...Terrible. See, that's why-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, he told me to give him the password t- he told me to give him the password to that to prove my love for Julie, only to find out that he's been Julie this whole time.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Oh...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Wow.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Ooh!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> WHOA!!!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> What? That is not [[True and Honest]] love.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> That's... wait-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> That's so horrible. Are you okay?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Eh... I'll be fine, but I don't know if I'll be able to get t- back in my Yahoo! account now, cause, if it went out of my control, I just got billed for my payment for this month on havin' the- on h- on usin' their web serve- on usin their file management- their file- FTP services.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> How much was it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Chris... don't worry.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> It's coh me- it costin' me fifteen dollars a month, so widout my, widout my, so- so widout my Yahoo! account, that thing's gonna charge me every month.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Fifteen dollars isn't really a lot...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> Can't you just cancel it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Can't you just call them, Chris?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...Fifteen dollars a month, that's a lot of, um... what? [He noticed that some girl was just trying to talk.]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Can you call them?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Egh... I dunno. Probably not.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> Chris, I'm sure we'll try and find something... I'm sure we can do something for you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Uhhh... there's some messages on the left...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> We'll get... him to give it back...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> Wait, Blue, wait, what's that about [[PSN]]?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Egh- apparently, when I called [[Sony]] to get my PSN- to get my PSN back, apparently they found him out in the process.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#DF0174">'''Chick:'''&lt;/font> At least you got some revenge, right?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Did- Uh... uhhhh... forgot what I was gonna say.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Damn. What an asshole, BlueSpike.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, they did- they do say karma is a bitch.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#00FF00">'''GeckoMantis:'''&lt;/font> Wait... did you actually think BlueSpike was a... girl?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Gecko, BlueSpike tricked us.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0B610B">'''Dude:'''&lt;/font> He had me fooled. BlueSpike is really good-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> He does sound like a girl.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> In that case, I'm not gonna di- dignify his question with an answer, because... is- his problem can be easily solved if he called the 800 toll-free number I just provided with him to Sony so he can get his account back and working again.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Is yours working?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yes, mine is working, thank you very much.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Oh. Okay.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Girl:'''&lt;/font> That's good.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> The s- the Sony people was- were very hospitable about that.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Oh, Chris, there was something I wanted to tell you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> What?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' You said you were sick with a virus or something?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yes. I've been having a sinus infection, and possibly also a cold.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Well, up here, I was-&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' [''Interrupts''] A high-functioning cold?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Hang on, hang on...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> That's possibly a cold.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I live here in Ohio, and a flu virus just recently passed through; I think that may have gotten down there and you may have got it... [pause] ...and honestly I just got over it a few days ago.&lt;br><br />
[Typing sounds]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hang on, I'm, ah, typing something to, ah, BlueSpike here.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Kay. Yeah.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' He can still hear you.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you're typing pretty vigorously.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, he can hear you if you don't wanna, like, you know, skip the typing and start saying it verbally.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, I know, I'm just answering ''his'' question.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' The rooms are connected.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Mmm. Sunshine, are you in the [[Mumble]] as well?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Yeah. I'm right here.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Okay, we don't have to type into Skype.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Okay. Sorry.&lt;br><br />
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Chris, remember me? I'm the cartoonist known as Mr. Skittles here.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, I member you offered me the- I member you offered me the, uh, one week challenge. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that, because I got sick.&lt;br><br />
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, I see. Well, um-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Interrupts] I'll- I'll tell you what, let's delay that to, uh, after I- after I feel better, or, uh, or- yeah. -Which one are you?- Mr. Skittles- yeah, I'll talk to you later bout that, okay?&lt;br><br />
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, okay. [Pause] I've already gotten my page done; I could upload more on Friday, though, when I'm not in school.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uh... Hey, uh, hey, on a latter note who's co- who's coming onto da PlayStation home tonight for the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|Street Fighter IV]]'' Q&amp;A? I just heard about it.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Well, I don't have a [[PS3]], so I can't.&lt;br><br />
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Yeah, I'm banned for at least a week myself.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hm.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' [''Something unintelligible about "PlayStation" and "I'm pretty poor"'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I just don't have the money, you know? I'm only fifteen; I can't get a job.&lt;br><br />
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Me, I'm just a hungry college student, so...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hm. Well, my bad. I won't, ah, mar- won't, ah, I won't mention- I won't ask the question again, or- or similar to that.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> I went to a ''Street Fighter'' tournament recently- [gets cut off or pauses] -a ''Street''- um, nevermind.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Yeah.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hey, that's okay, yeah, I mean, uh... yeah, very good (?) ''Street Fighter'' tournament, uh, in other places, at least, uh... [unintelligible]&lt;br><br />
[''A bunch of people talk. Someone asks, "Are you good at ''Street Fighter'', Chris?"'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I'm sorry, what?&lt;br><br />
[''Again, multiple people say stuff.'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, it's alright. There's conflicting... talk here, so I'm not really sure.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' So, are you gonna make more comic pages? I mean, it's kinda hard to keep a [[fanbase]] without actually, like, you know... making [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] I'm g- I'm gonna draw- I'm gonna draw more pages, I'm gonna draw more pages...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Give him a break, guys! He just had [[stress|a hard time]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...Yeah, plus also, this [[BlueSpike|thirteen y- thirteen year old]] there took my Yahoo! account and in the process took my ah- took my website down... so it's not like I can upload the pages right away at this point.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' You know, you might as well make them so when... [''trails off''] ...You know, there's actually websites devoted to just having webcomics uploaded.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I'll- I'll look into that- I'll look into that another time, but not right now.&lt;br><br />
[Several people talk]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Chris, do you think that, um... was Clyde involved with BlueSpike?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uh, yeah, possibly; they were in- they were in talks.&lt;br><br />
[''Lots of people talk. Chris [[sigh]]s.'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> It's okay, Chris. We're still here for you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> It could be that BlueSpike is Clyde's puppet.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' ...or vice versa.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, Chris? I have a question.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Um, [[Reldnahc]] in the comic is supposed to be your exact opposite, right?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Um... sorry, uh, which one?&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Uh... I think his name is Reldnahc, the guy with the-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] Oh, ye- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the complete opposite, yes.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Well, if he's the exact opposite of you in every way, shouldn't he be dead?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> He has a point.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Sigh] Forget the alive part. Alive and dead, that's a different thing. I'm talkin about- in ah- complete opposite personality and characteristics. So, like, you know, I'm straight, he's a [[homo]].&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Okay.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> That was a stupid question.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Ahyway, also, uh, BlueSpike wants you to unmute him.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:'''...but... why should we?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Uh, Chris...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uhh, just go ahead and unmute him, please, so that he can-&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' -Alright.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...continue on.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Chris, I know I emailed you before, but, uhh... -shut up, Blue- uhh... I emailed you about the [[Wikipedia:hentai|hentai]] series that I was gonna work with you-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''sarcastically''] Oh, great.&lt;br><br />
[''People tell him to shut up'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I look forward to it.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I'll unmute him when she's done.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Ugh... yeah. I emailed you about a hentai series that I wanted to work with you-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> -Oh, yeah, I remember that.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> -story. (''?'')&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I remember that.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, um, are you gonna write the story for me or anything like that?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uh, I'll let you write up a story- you know, uh, help you with that. (?)&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> So, you'll write it after you're done?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uh, they sayin' that you- uh, alright well also, uh, Bluespike is sayin' that if you mute him once more, the Yahoo! will be gone from my hands forever.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, do you have to watch a lot of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|porn]] to get inspiration for hentai?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uhh... possibly. I can't say for sure, but it's- but you know, you definitely gotta know the... [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|anatomy]], you know, between breast sizes and the, uh... [[China|pussies]]... and the [[Pickles|dicks]]. That's, uh...&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Vaginas?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yes.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Well... I think we can bounce off some ideas when we work on it together... but you gotta promise, cause I already have some sketch ideas and everything I wanna show you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> That's- th- that's cool.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Chris, tell me...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''sighs''] What is it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Oh, it's not even related to anything... icky; don't worry. Tell me, if you had to write your own hentai story, why don't you just write that out right now?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Ugh... cause I'm n- cause my mind isn't exactly in complete r- able to quickly make decisions state right now, because I'm sick.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> That's your reason for not doing anything...&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] I have a serious question about hentai, Chris- why did you draw hentai of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, I thought you hated her.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' It distur- yeah, it disturbed me a bit as a fan.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''unintelligible''] having feelings for [''unintelligible'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Stop it, Blue.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I don't know why I did it; I just felt like messing with- um, uh- just, like, like messing with as a- as... she's- double (''??? devil?'') character.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him near the end] Chris... that's disgusting.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I understand, Chris. I see what you did there.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, it's kinda like, um- kinda like a little joke or a [[parody]]; kinda like a stab.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' I see. Also, check to your left- there's a comic space and (''???''). Couple of websites where you can, like, post webcomics and stuff.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I see... but, still, I want my Sonichu site back up in order for me to...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] I think he just wants his- [gets cut off] it's okay.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I saw the newest video...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] I mean, he's paying for it, after all.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' ...I was wondering what you're gonna do about the site.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I don't know... at least until ah- at least until I can find out ih- at least until I can get my Yahoo! account back.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Chris, tell me... when you called the, uh, PlayStation people, whoever they are, did you reveal anything about me? What did you reveal?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> No, I only revealed my information; they must have found you as being the one that, ah, got into my account.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> You're positive about this?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I'm positive! I'm- I'm s- I'm serious.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> They can do that. It's not that hard.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I'm- hey, no, shut up- I'm just asking Chris.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Well, you should be smart enough to know that... cause you're stupid.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Stupid enough to... get a password from an [[autism|autistic]] that he wants so bad (???)&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Well that's just cause you're mean.&lt;br><br />
[Several people talk at once]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...and plus, I thought it wa- and plus, I thought it was, ah... [gets talked over]... an adult woman.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Chris, you should probably be more secure and a little bit more paranoid [[Ivy|the next time]] you meet a girl on the Internet.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Yeah... yeah... well, after I get over this virus I'm definitely gonna start going back out in public... in local areas.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, I'm looking forward to that, Chris; I would love to see- see, now that you don't have your [[medallion]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|ladies]] might be more willing to talk to you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I may not have it on me, but I kn- I know I can recreate one- and plus, [[Chris and reality|I have the memories linked to my medallions in my]] [[ring]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, but your ring won't scare trolls away.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' [''Talks over Bluespike''] You really should grab the medallion back, Chris; it's your sign of- [[honest]]y.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] Oh god, no... no, don't try and kill the man.&lt;br><br />
[Several people talk at once]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> You're the one trying to kill him.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...I do plan on- I do plan on recr- I do plan on recreating the medallion; I just... [''gets talked over'']&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy (?):''' What happened to this one?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Because I thought I was doin' it for an adult woman.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> D'oh. (?)&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' What happened to it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> This brat here asked me to c- asked me to cut it up and shove it up my ass.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him, then laughs''] ...and you did.&lt;br><br />
[''A strange whistle can be heard here.'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' So, did you do it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' How far did it go?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Girl (possibly Sunshine):'''&lt;/font> Oh my God.&lt;br><br />
[''A couple more people react in disgust at the same time.'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> How did it feel, Chris? Tell me.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> It hurt.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' [''Talks over him''] How far- how far could you shove it up there?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over guy''] It hurt your rectum?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' ...I'm sorry that I may ask.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Well, (?) I shoved it up as far as I could get it.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Ah.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Stop talking about this! This is kinda... egh...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Uhh, no, I have another question for, uh, Chris.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Other Guy:''' Yeah, let's try- I was gonna eat dinner afterwards. Jesus.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once. Someone burps or something.'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [sigh] You don't have ta- you don't have ta picture it. You don't have ta picture it.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' It is kinda hard because I was gonna eat curry rice.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''sigh''] Well, I'm sorry I r- I'm sorry r- I'm sorry I ruined your dinner.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Let's just talk about something else.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Like, you know, it's okay; I can still recreate one, aaand I still have my high school ring.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Man, I'm sorry, man.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Which, I must admit, Chris, it is a decent ring.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> I should've gotten a high school ring.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Just... Chris, just- whatever you do, I mean, they've gotten a lot of things, but do ''not'' let them get your high school ring.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> They're not gettin' it. [''Pause''] I mean, that was a big investment itself.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Uh, Chris... I have a question Chris.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> What?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Most people usually, like, forget about their high school ring after high school and move to college rings.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Girl:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Gecko...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, [pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does] Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if I account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- [''he starts sounding agitated''] I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''Resumes talking''] ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> ...Yes...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the [[Wikipedia:Toll-free telephone number|800 number]] I just gave you.&lt;br><br />
[''Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Chris, why are you helping this monster?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' You are truly a saint for doing this.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, if- hey- if only I- [gets cut off] helping him get his [[PSN]] account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get ''his'' life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my Yahoo! account.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never [[troll]] again; in fact, I will [[White knight|fight the trolls]]...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Okay.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> We will all fight the trolls.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> ''After'' this is done.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> You stop trolling now, you troll!&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' We will kick their collective asses.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> You are a bad person, Bluespike.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Well, you're really saying tha-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [Interrupts] Didn't your mother raise you better?&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Well, I guess you don't want the PSN.&lt;br><br />
[Several people talk]&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' Smack him with your medallion!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- Yahoo! again.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Easy, guys. Easy.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> ...and you did a punch.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Well, I guess you should be giving him spankings or something.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> That's it.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his Yahoo!.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> No you don't.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Yes I do.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Interrupts] Look- look, look...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> I'm tracking your IP.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I'm behind seven proxies.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> I can see through them.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Not proxies! (?)&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [''Laughs'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... [''gets talked over'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Guys! Let Chris talk!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Alright, talk, Chris.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my Yahoo! account back.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Couldn't you just cancel it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Couldn't you call Yahoo!?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact Yahoo!, I couldn't find a phone number on there.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Ohh... what about email?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... [''trails off'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and [[Fanbase|your fans]] one more chance. How does that sound?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Ugh... fine. [Pause] Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|that video]] I uploaded earlier.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. [''pause''] So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the PlayStation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone.&lt;br><br />
[Chris sighs]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> See what you can get done.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Fine, I'll do something, alright?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, after this Mumble you will get on a call with... [gets talked over]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call 'em myself.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I gotta tell 'em your real name so I can call them for you.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. [''pause''] Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' You could give him AIDS!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I'm gonna give you [[Homos|AIDS]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [unintelligible] ...never mind.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> You'd better.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about [[BILLY MAYS]] not being Mayor?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I ''thought'' I was doing for an adult woman.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Chris...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Stutters a lot] ...I verbally dubbed him... Mayor.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... [gets talked over]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Ah, yes, after I... say one thing.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Oh, whoa whoa, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- [''gets talked over'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> No.&lt;br><br />
[Jack and Chris talk at the same time]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> It's something that was floating around on the forums... [''trails off, saying something about BILLY MAYS'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Because he's a charismatic leader.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions.&lt;br><br />
[Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Are you serious?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's Mayor? I thought that-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being Mayor.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' But Chris, you said that-&lt;br><br />
[''Chris emits a very loud angry [[stress]] groan'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> The medallions have nothing to do with being the Mayor!&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!"'']&lt;br><br />
'''Girl:''' Everybody calm down!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> And also, ihya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been Photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] It doesn't look Photoshopped.&lt;/font>&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> And by the way, um...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> That i- it is Photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Yeah.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> By the way, um...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [Talks over him] So it's doesn- so it's been obviously Photoshopped.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your True and Honest [[medallion]]? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the [[YouTube]] video on the Internet. Please, do tell me.&lt;br><br />
[''Chris coughs'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... [''gets talked over'']&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' But you said in the retraction video that the medallion is needed!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Oh- if you all recall the preview for [[Sonichu 10|the- number ten comic book]], the powers of the medallion get transferred to my high school ring.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) But I thought that was just your power for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], though.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [''Over Chris''] I thought this was like, uh...&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the [[Time Void|time vortex]] in the comic yet.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> I've drawn myself out of there.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [sigh] It's canon to real life, as well... this one.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' You can turn into Sonichu??&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Oh.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon.&lt;br><br />
[''Chris's phone rings'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' So what happened to [[Blanca]]?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> 'Scuse me. [''Gets up to answer the phone''] Hello?... Yes...&lt;br><br />
[''Someone makes a weird noise'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Who could be calling our dear Chris-chan?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''Still on the phone''] Yes.&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my [[Son-Chu|car]] insurance.&lt;br><br />
[''Everyone laughs'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Blanca got the medallion, that troll.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> You're [[Obesity|fat]]. You don't know that.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> ...and I appreciate your support. (???)&lt;br><br />
[long pause]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> I appreciate your condolences.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Alright, you take care and have a pleasant day. [''Hangs up'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I think he's still on the phone, shh.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Hey, Chris... can you hear me?&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Shut up.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> Hey, Blue... don't be an idiot.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [''Gets back onto Mumble, sighing''] Alright.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> So, Chris... who was on the phone?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over him''] Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters.&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> No! He transferred the powers from the medallion-&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' -I know, but-&lt;br><br />
[''Several people talk at once'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> Actually, I do know the answer to this: think [[Wikipedia:Linus van Pelt|Linus]] in, uh, ''[[Peanuts]]''. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket...&lt;br><br />
'''Foreign Guy:''' No, that way the powers are doubled!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in [[Wikipedia:Captain Planet|''Captain Planet'']].&lt;br><br />
[Several people talk]&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [sigh] I'm done, but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' And now the ring's a security blanket?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. [''Pause''] It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. [''Pause''] I had my ring on it the whole time.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> The first one didn't, but the second one I created did.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' 'Kay.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Oh.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, [[Medallions of Fail#The Black Sonichu medallion|the... Blachu one]] and the, uh... I mean... Blake one?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#D44942">'''Bluespike:'''&lt;/font> [''Talks over Jack''] Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> [unintelligible] Aaagh... [his phone rings] Same thi- same thi- [''mutters''] excuse me... [''gets up to answer the phone'']&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Jeez.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Explain that- (???) in the comic books.&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Shush.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, [[Bob|his]] son. [''Pause''] Uhh, sorry. [[Barb|She]]'s taking a nap right now. [''Pause''] Speak it again. (?)&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' What's going on?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Shut up!&lt;br><br />
[''long pause; some random noises are heard'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#8A0886">'''Jack Thaddeus:'''&lt;/font> Are you there, Chris?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF77FF">'''Sunshine:'''&lt;/font> He's on the phone.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Echo, echo, echo...&lt;br><br />
'''Other Guy:''' Shut up.&lt;br><br />
[Long pause]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, it's a webcam. [''Pause''] Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. [''Pause''] Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away ''from'' the Internet. [''He pauses and/or gets cut off''] ...webcam. [Long pause] ...and sometimes I would've been low-functioning, I guess. [''Pause''] [''stressed''] You don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people.&lt;br><br />
'''Guy:''' Yeah... yeah yeah yeah.&lt;br><br />
[''A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video'']&lt;br><br />
[''Long pause'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> (???) sir, you hush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?)&lt;br><br />
[''Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up'']&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the Internet or not. [''Pause, weird thumping noises''] Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- [''gets cut off''] Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) [Pause] I'll talk to you later, father. [''Sigh; pause; sighs again, getting back on Mumble'']&lt;br><br />
'''Girl:''' Chris, is everything okay?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time.&lt;br><br />
[''Everyone goes crazy and tries to figure out what's going on'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 12|Mumble Chat 12]]|}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?zzzmdmhmwzw Download]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
[[Category:Mumble chats]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Hair&diff=126794Hair2010-11-24T03:40:52Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://isiqilujev.co.cc Page Is Unavailable Due To Site Maintenance, Please Visit Reserve Copy Page]=<br />
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=[http://isiqilujev.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]<br />
<br />
Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.<br />
<br />
Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.<br />
<br />
A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well; he's a total baldo while only in his 40s.<br />
<br />
Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:George.jpg|thumb|left|George Costanza: Chris' role model?]] If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by December]]<br />
<br />
When confronted in the Mailbag ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.<br />
<br />
In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.<br />
<br />
==Hair mail==<br />
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.<br />
<br />
Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one, lol]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.<br />
<br />
Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.<br />
<br />
Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.<br />
<br />
While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).<br />
<br />
===Gallery of hair===<br />
&lt;center><br />
&lt;gallery><br />
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.<br />
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])<br />
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.<br />
&lt;/gallery><br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and health]]<br />
*[[HairDifference]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=ModNation_Racers&diff=126793ModNation Racers2010-11-24T03:40:50Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{taxpayermoney}} <br />
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[[Image:ModNation Racers.jpg|thumb|''MR'' [[America]]n box art]]<br />
<br />
'''''ModNation Racers''''' is a customizable kart racing game for the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]] that [[Chris]] has taken a liking to. It isn't quite [[2010]]'s answer to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', but it's close.<br />
<br />
In addition to providing [[Autism|autistics]] with the simple gameplay used in all racing games and cute, [[Homos|gaily]]-colored characters found in [[Pokemon|many]] [[Animal Crossing|children's]] [[Sonic|games]], ''ModNation Racers'' is heavily based around user-generated content, much like ''LittleBigPlanet''. Chris can now foist his questionable [[Chris and art|design skills]] upon the world through a kart racing game.<br />
<br />
==Chris's ModNation career==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Image:126473378631.JPG|thumb|200px|How Modnation looks in Chris's mind]]<br />
When only the beta version of the game was available, Chris posted 25 screen caps of him driving a yellow, [[Sonichu]]-themed cart around an empty racetrack on the [[CWCipedia]]. These were filed under [[Copyright|"Original CWC Art"]]. Later, after the retail version arrived, he created a number of characters and cars (images are available below), as well as a CWCville track.<br />
<br />
It is of great concern to Chris that despite his belief that he has a large [[fanbase]], barely anybody has bothered to download his poorly designed track and he continues to whore it out at every opportunity. On 17 July 2010, Chris updated his [[Twitter]] account for the first time in ages, begging his imaginary followers to give him codes for the "Mystery Mods" (promotional DLC packs included with the pre-ordered copies of the game&lt;ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/27/modnation-racers-mystery-mods-revealed/]&lt;/ref>) and to download his CWCville track so that he could acquire yet another trophy. 26 July saw yet another Twitter update whining for downloads and positive reviews. <br />
<br />
He also posted multiple threads on the forums at [[GameFAQs]] and Gamespot making similar demands. When his initial beg-a-thons were deleted because of those boards' anti-soliciting policies, Chris, being Chris, just went ahead and posted them again.<br />
<br />
Despite having all the free time in the world to practice his skills, Chris remained mediocre at ''ModNation Racers''. This should come as little [[Soul Calibur|surprise]]. After racing in 1000+ contests, Chris only "won" 200 of these (with a noticeable "Disconnected" and "Did Not Finish" tally indicating some [[Rage|tard-rage]] present). All in all, Chris won about 20% of the time.<br />
<br />
Additionally, a number of his characters show they have been used in 0 races even days after their creation, meaning even Chris didn't even bother to use his own creations.<br />
<br />
==Beta screen caps==<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
&lt;gallery><br />
Image:MODNATION.JPG|Modnation Chris, about to go snake hunting.<br />
Image:MODNATION_1.JPG|Sonichu license plate<br />
Image:MODNATION_2.JPG|''Modnation'': the game that lets you make Sonichu [[medallions]]<br />
Image:MODNATION_19.JPG|Chris plows his car into an orange pylon<br />
&lt;/gallery><br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's ModNation characters|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:Modnation ChrisChan.jpg|Chris<br />
File:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|[[Sonichu]]<br />
File:Modnation Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]]<br />
File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Lego Chris]]<br />
File:Modnation LegoInfomaniac.jpg|[[Legos|The Infomaniac]]<br />
File:Modnation 1stTransformersRacer.jpg|[[Transformers|A "Transformer"]]<br />
File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Excel]]<br />
File:Modnation HayattHatchan.jpg|[[Excel Saga|Hyatt]]<br />
File:ModNation Wild.jpg| [[Wild Sonichu]]<br />
File:ModNation Punchy.jpg| [[Punchy Sonichu]]<br />
File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg| [[Magi-Chan]]<br />
File:ModNation Bubbles.jpg| [[Bubbles Rosechu]]<br />
File:ModNation Angelica.jpg| [[Angelica]]<br />
File:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| [[Count Graduon]]<br />
File:ModNation AmericanRabbit.jpg| [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|American Rabbit]]<br />
File:ModNation PattiChan.jpg| [[Patti-Chan]]<br />
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]<br />
File:ModNation PrincessClara.jpg|Princess Clara<br />
File:ModNation FoxxyLove.jpg|Foxxy Love<br />
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|A [[Niggo|basketball player]] from Chris' [[Manchester High School|high school]]<br />
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|...and a [[Laura_Beth_Dorazio|cheerleader]] to pair him off with.<br />
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player. <br />
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|...and someone to pair him off with.<br />
File:ModNation Bionic.jpg|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]<br />
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|A [[Transformers|Transformer]](?) wearing a [[Manchester High School|Manchild High]] shirt<br />
File:ModNation PaRappa.jpg|[[PaRappa the Rapper]]<br />
File:ModNation TiaraBoobowski.jpg| [[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Sonic the Hedgehog franchise|Tiara Boobowski]]<br />
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg| [[Son-Chu]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollMale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Male devil troll]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg| [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Female devil troll]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollbusterCal.jpg| Fighting trolls everywhere with [[The Creepy Stare|the creepy stare]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollbusterDeeDee.jpg| ...And Sarah Palin, apparently.<br />
File:ModNation TrollbusterTee.jpg| Laziest character design, EVER!<br />
File:ModNation Y2KChrisChan.jpg| Chris from the year [[2000]]. <br />
File:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg| ModNation Racers, the best way to express your love for [[Jackie|someone.]] <br />
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg| [[Sailor Megtune|...creepy,]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing]] love. But love none the less!<br />
File:ModNation_XBox360ko.jpg| [[Hex Box]]!<br />
File:ModNation_PS3mi.jpg| [[PS3]].<br />
File:ModNation LordIlPalzzo.jpg| [[ScotPalazzo|Lord Palzzo]] from [[Excel Saga]].<br />
File:ModNation BlackSonichu.jpg| [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. Take note that he was added to ModNation Racers [[Racism|long after his wife was]].<br />
File:ModNation PSMoveMotion.jpg| [[Nintendo|&lt;s>Wiimote&lt;/s>]] [[PS3|Sony Move controller.]]<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's ModNation cars|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:Modnation SonichuKart.jpg|A car for Sonichu<br />
File:Modnation RosechusKart.jpg|And Rosechu too!<br />
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|[[Son-Chu]]<br />
File:Modnation 1991CamaroZ-28.jpg|Hot Wheels<br />
File:Modnation JaguarXj220Revealers.jpg|More Hot Wheels<br />
File:Modnation Zr1CorvetteRevealers.jpg|<br />
File:Modnation PontiacBanshee.jpg|Nothing to see here<br />
File:Modnation AMansToy.jpg|Not [[gay]] at all.<br />
File:Modnation 1stTransformerRaceCar.jpg|Transformation not included<br />
File:Modnation Wiimote.jpg|[[Chris and death|&lt;s>A casket&lt;/s>]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Nintendo Wiimote]]<br />
File:ModNation AuNatured.jpg| [[Nudes|Au "Naturel"]]<br />
File:ModNation Prowler.jpg| [[Prower|Prowler]]<br />
File:ModNation CountGraduonScepter.jpg| Count Graduon's [[Sex toys|Scepter]] <br />
File:ModNation AmericanRabbitsskates.jpg| [[The_Adventures_of_The_American_Rabbit|The American Rabbit]]'s rollerskate<br />
File:ModNation Foxxy5..jpg| A van featured in the forgettable series [[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]<br />
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichuKart.jpg|A kart for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]<br />
File:ModNation Arwing.jpg|[[Wikipedia:Star_Fox_(series)#Arwing|Another game franchise ruined by Chris...]]<br />
File:ModNation ManchesterHighShortBus.jpg|[[Slow-in-the-minds|The short bus]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollbustersTruck.jpg| Who you gonna call? The [[Trolls|Troll]][[Ghostbusters|Busters!]]<br />
File:ModNation TrollbustersCar.jpg| Perfect for running over those [[B-Manajerk|pesky]] [[Michael Snyder|trolls.]]<br />
File:ModNation BombDeliveryRobot.jpg| Of all the robots from [[Excel Saga|this show]], he makes this instead of the gynoids.<br />
File:ModNation PSMoveNavigator.jpg| So much for [[The MovingFoward videos|"moving forward"]]<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible <br />
|"Tour de CWCville" ModNation tracks|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:CWCvilleTrackCity.jpg| [[CWCville|Downtown]]<br />
File:CWCvilleTrackPark.jpg| [[McIntire Park|CWCville Park]]<br />
File:CWCvilleTrackForest.jpg| [[Rape|CWCville Forest]]<br />
File:CWCvilleTrackMountain.jpg| CWCville Mountains<br />
File:CWCvilleTrackBeach.jpg| [[Sonichu_8#Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008!"|CWCvillle Beach]]<br />
File:ModNationCity.jpg| ModNation City<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|High-res character mods|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:ModNationRacers.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 1.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 108.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 109.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 121.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 110.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 111.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 226.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 112.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 227.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 113.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 114.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 115.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 116.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 117.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 118.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 119.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 122.JPG<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|High-res vehicle mods|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:ModNation Racers 123.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 124.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 125.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 126.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 127.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 128.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 129.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 130.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 131.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 132.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 136.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 137.JPG<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|High-res race shots|&lt;gallery perrow="4"><br />
File:ModNation Racers 140.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 141.JPG<br />
File:ModNation Racers 145.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 206.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 207.JPG<br />
File:ModNationRacers 223.JPG<br />
&lt;/gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
<br />
*[http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu Chris's ModNation profile]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=SingStar_Challenge_Round_5&diff=126792SingStar Challenge Round 52010-11-24T03:40:38Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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'''The fifth and final round''' of the [[SingStar Challenge]] saw the two competitors each sing a song at the other's request. [[IBAChandler]] sang two versions of "Can I Smell Yo Dick?" by Riskay. [[CChanSonichuCWC]] likewise performed two versions of "Lift your Eyes" by [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]].<br />
<br />
==IBAChandler's Initial Entry==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = "Smell Yo Duck"<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|sEyos6YB2_o}}<br />
| imagewidth = 250<br />
| Stardate = 05 August 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] [[Music]]<br />
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason<br />
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]<br />
| Shirt = {{PokeShirt}} {{BrownLogoShirt}} PokeShirt and Brown Shirt with Logo<br />
| previous = [[For_Kacey_from_CWC| For Kacey]]<br />
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Revised Entry | Smell Yo Duck Too]]<br />
}}<br />
{{quote|Can I smell yo d'''u'''ck?}}<br />
Ian sings the final song, requested by CChanSonichuCWC, "Can I Smell Your Dick?", but changes the word "dick" to "[[duck]]" in each instance, therefore disqualifying him. However, in the information section of the video, Ian claims to be sorry for all that he has done to the real Chris and [[Kacey]], and says that they are both his close friends. This is classic Ian, kissing ass in hopes that he isn't disqualified for cheating, while at the same time threatening CChanSonichuCWC with arrest from Ian's personal detective if he doesn't renounce his CWC-dom. In both of the "Can I Smell Your Dick?" videos, Ian manages to pronounce roughly 10% of the lyrics, with the other 90% being incoherent babbling, implying that Ian made virtually no effort to learn the song before singing it.<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
Hello, Chris. Well, I have been uh, mistaken, I have been in error, and I humbly apologize from the bottom of my heart. I did you wrong, I did Kacey wrong. But still, she had to know. That why I communicated in the first place. But she still cares about you, man. At least 'n that's you, you real lucky guy to er, get that. Even after lying to her like that for all of the time. But still, dude. My humblest apologies. Let's just hope we can put this behind us and please dude, please. Stop pretending to be me. It ain't worth it! It's not fun! You're gonna get yourself in jail, man! Identity theft is a serious crime! 'Specially after what you, the hefty bill you put up. Counterfeited my driver's license, with your picture on it. Counterfeited my high school diploma. Counterfeited my Piedmont degree. You've really got yourself up a big bill man. I hate to see uhh-d, I um, I mean, I will personally seen it, but I was talkin' to Kacey, she cares about you very much man. I just hate to break up the relationship between you and her. Especially one so HONEST, so TRUE. She loves you, man. I wuhh... things to make me feel bad. If you have to, if you end up going to jail after all this. So please dude, come clean. Yes, your name is Chris Chandler. That's it. No "-tian", No "Christopher", No "Ricardo". No "Weston". That's you man. So please man. Take off that paper medallion. Stop sellin' the fake merchandise, come clean, please. Come clean and I'll be right. Between you, between me, between Kacey. The whole world. Anyway I'll leave that up to you, as you sing "Lift Up Your Eyes" as I sing this track. Alright.<br />
<br />
[''Chris dons a brown longsleeve shirt, and his orange Parappa the Rappa beanie. He wears a pair of sunglasses directly above his regular glasses.'']<br />
<br />
Alright. Let's do this thing. Smell yo duck. From Riskay.<br />
<br />
[''Smell Yo Dick from Riskay begins playing. Chris remains silent during the into, then sings along, badly. He replaces the word "dick" with "duck", violating the rules he thought up for his own contest.'']<br />
<br />
[''Chris takes off his prescription glasses, and the eyeglasses fall in front of his eyes. He pushes them back up, and again they fall down. He repeats the process two other times before they stay.'']<br />
<br />
The cards are on the table. You hold your hand. It's your move. Whatcha gonna do? Stop the charade, live freely, happily, or continue on and might end up in jail. Whatever you do, think about it while you sing "Lift Up Your Eyes" man. *[[sigh]]* Chris, you ok. You got your guitar playin'. You got more languages than I took. But still man, you need to quit pretendin'. With somebody you're not. [sings, awkwardly] God loves you by, your own name. Don't go makin' it look like someone else's. Especially with ID. Fake duhplomer and all that. Whatchyou gonna do, she gonna smell yo DUCK. Go ahead. Sing.<br />
<br />
==Caught Cheating==<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = "Ian, (IMPOSTOR CWC) You Have 4 Hours or DISQUALIFICATION"<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tURgK9bqaSA}}<br />
| Stardate = 5 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 4#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|C.W.C. SingStar #4: Think Twice, Eve 6 **ALSO SONG #5 CHOICE** ]]<br />
| next = [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|THE Christian Weston Chandler's FINAL SingStar #5 Song. Lift Up Your Eyes, The Planetshakers]]<br />
}}<br />
After being caught by [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] replacing every instance of the word "dick" with "duck", Chris is given four hours to sing the song TRUTHfully or face disqualification. Chris obliges, takes down the original and replaces it with a new version, then uploads the original just so the other can see his original message<br />
<br />
===IBAChandler's Revised Entry===<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = "Smell Yo Dick Too"<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|TKJgdG3NGEA}}<br />
| imagewidth = 250<br />
| Stardate = 5 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] [[Music]]<br />
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason<br />
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]<br />
| Shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt}} Brown Shirt with Logo<br />
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Initial Entry| Smell Yo Duck]]<br />
| next = [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!| CHRIS CHANDLER]]<br />
}}<br />
{{quote|I ''said'' the word. Now lay off!}}<br />
<br />
====Transcript====<br />
Alright, Chris, we'll do this another time. But remember the nice words that I had said to you earlier, and I meant it from my heart. Remember...those words...I said to you. Can't say I didn't warn ya, Can't say I wasn't nice. But, I'm warnin' ya, dude, be goo- try- do the right thing. Okay, DJ Quest, do it!<br />
<br />
[''holds the phone to his hear in silence through the intro'']<br />
<br />
[''sings "Can I Smell Your Dick" (very badly)'']<br />
<br />
[''throughout the song, Impostor gets more and more uncomfortable each time he has to say "dick"'']<br />
<br />
[''at 3:32 he seems to gag or lose his breath'']<br />
<br />
[''at 3:47 he makes another gagging noise'']<br />
<br />
That's what you GET! I did the word. I SAID the word. Now lay off! Remember my words, I'll re-upload that video, so you can hear those words again, and again, and again...aside from the song. Fort-unfortunately I deleted it from my "EyeCreate" program, so I can't edit it. Now sing "Eye- now sing "Lift Up Your Eyes", and THINK about it. Go ahead, Chris.<br />
<br />
==CChanSonichuCWC's Entry==<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = "Lift Up Your Eyes"<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aXb7UW-w3zU}}<br />
| Stardate = 6 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler's Revised Entry|Ian, (IMPOSTOR CWC) You Have 4 Hours or DISQUALIFICATION]]<br />
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#CChanSonichuCWC's Revised Entry| RE-DONE Christian Weston Chandler (CWC) Final SingStar Challenge Song! You're WELCOME, Ian. ]]<br />
}}<br />
{{quote|Well, here it is Ian, last song of the competition...}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
Well, here it is Ian, last song of the competition. I'm almost sad is over. Then I remember how much of my identity you stole from me. Mmm. And I'll never get it back. Alright-well I already have it back. But, uh...you'll never take it.<br />
<br />
[''CChan sings ''Lift Up Your Eyes'' by The Planetshakers, in a very [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]-like way'']<br />
<br />
[At 2:08 he comments mid-song, "Tryin' to steal my girlfriend?" which is likely part of the reason Ian wants to disqualify it.]<br />
<br />
==CChanSonichuCWC's Revised Entry==<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = "RE-DONE Lift Up Your Eyes"<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-qz1AunRSK4}}<br />
| Stardate = 7 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 5#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|THE Christian Weston Chandler's FINAL SingStar #5 Song. Lift Up Your Eyes, The Planetshakers]]<br />
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_August-November_2009#Ian.2C_Talking_Time_is_Over._The_REAL_Christian_Weston_Chandler_is_SICK_of_Your_Lies._Come_CLEAN.| Ian, Talking Time is Over. The REAL Christian Weston Chandler is SICK of Your Lies. Come CLEAN. ]]<br />
}}<br />
This version was made after [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|allegations]] made by Ian Brandon Anderson about differences between the video and song lengths in the previous video. The Real Chris obliged, sang the complete song and noted the length of it.<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
Hello Ian, [''sighs''] I said I'll sing-I'll sing your whole song but it's just the same thing over and over and over again you know? I mean, I don't see what's the point. You got some kind of secrets plan to troll me again? You know you troll me so much.<br />
<br />
[''Chris sings, again in a very monotonous sound. Occasionally, after singing "And the Lord God almighty" he adds "and Jesus and the Mall Conductor Bear".'']<br />
<br />
[''At the end, he yells "[[wikipedia:Sanctus|Holy, Holy, Holy]]" in a manner similar to the infamous [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY cries]]'']<br />
<br />
Mmm, yeah that was a pretty long song. Mmm, I agree.<br />
<br />
[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]<br />
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]<br />
{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009]]|nextlink=[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]|}}<br />
{{SingStarChallenge}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey&diff=126791Kacey2010-11-24T03:40:33Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Kacey.jpg|thumb|Actual photograph of Kacey]]<br />
<br />
'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (Liquid Chris) who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]" personality, as Ian believes all women do. As Ian is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
<br />
Basically, Ian became enraged with jealousy that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and come all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Ian was trying to trick her. <br />
<br />
Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] the impostor has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that &lt;s>becomes&lt;/s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Ian, of course, never notices.<br />
<br />
As revealed by Ian in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr and Mrs D (Devoria).<br />
<br />
Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.<br />
<br />
==Contact with Ian==<br />
<br />
On 3 [[August 2009]], Ian sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.<br />
<br />
On 4 August 2009, Ian created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.<br />
<br />
Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Ian tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.<br />
<br />
On 15 August 2009, she posted a video announcing ChanSonichuCWC's disappearance and felt distraught and heartbroken over the event, calling the police and going as far as to withdraw herself from their marriage.<br />
{{Deletedvideo}}<br />
{{Infobox/Galpal<br />
| name = August 15, 2009<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|K9kIcTdeqYU}}<br />
| Stardate = 15 August 2009<br />
| Maker = Kacey<br />
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]<br />
| Video Type = Worry<br />
| Other Info = Kacey goes insane over Liquid's disappearance.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
On 20 August 2009, she posted another video announcing that the police believed the kidnapping was a hoax, and asked for peace while hoping for the real Chris's return.<br />
{{Deletedvideo}}<br />
{{Infobox/Galpal<br />
| name = Update<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2KNlmx8Nt2o}}<br />
| Stardate = 20 August 2009<br />
| Maker = Kacey<br />
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]<br />
| Video Type = Reason<br />
| Other Info = Kacey finds out the kidnapping was a hoax.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==The Love Quest==<br />
<br />
Once [[CChanSonichuCWC#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Ian and Kacey began to emerge. In Ian's [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Ian would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.<br />
<br />
In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Ian graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Ian as friends.<br />
<br />
However, Ian being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Ian's Sinatra-esque tones]].<br />
<br />
==The end of Kacey==<br />
<br />
Ian and Kacey's &lt;s>friendship&lt;/s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into [[Father Call|some kind of argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris's chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing go and ''shoot'' Liquid. Horrified, Kacey scorned Ian for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Ian would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.<br />
<br />
==Marriage to Liquid==<br />
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]<br />
<br />
Liquid and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Solid tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving copyright papers, which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].<br />
<br />
Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid Chris resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Kacey Phone Call]]<br />
*[[Father Call]]<br />
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]<br />
<br />
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]<br />
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Collosal_Chan&diff=126790Collosal Chan2010-11-24T03:40:30Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:CollosalChan.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and Money|"Change?! Ya got CHANGE?! Aw, come on! Help a guy out!"]]]]<br />
<br />
'''Collosal Chris-chan''' is yet another Mary Sue form of [[Chris]] in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. He, like [[Ultra Sonichu]], is the result of "[[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystal]] Power" after all seven of the Chaotic Crystals have assembled. Collosal Chan is, surprisingly, the size of regular [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-chan]].<br />
<br />
==Appearance==<br />
[[Image:126398379142.jpg|thumb|A far better depiction of Collosal Chan]]<br />
<br />
The concept is that Collosal-Chan is some kind of half-way point between regular Chris and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. His medallion also changes from yellow to orange, just like [[Ultra Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
However, in Chris's [[Chris and art|stunted ability]], this basically manifests itself as Chris-chan in a ratty vest, stupid hat, and with a hobo beard. Why Chris would want to be a half-version of his actual super form doesn't make a bit of sense: how does having the weaker Chris's body improve over just being a magic, omnipotent Hedgehog? So far there is no reason to believe that the things Chris does as Collosal Chan couldn't also have been done by [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
==''Sonichu'' #10==<br />
<br />
Collosal Chris-chan makes his first and, if we're to take Chris's word for it, last appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Using the power of the Chaotic Crystals, he transforms into what is essentially a glorified super form, bearing a few similarities to the Level 4 [[Dragon Ball Z|Super Saiyan]] transformation from ''[[wikipedia:List of Dragon Ball GT episodes|Dragon Ball GT]]''. For some reason, the [[Anime Wings]] won't cut it this time around, like they were used more than [[Sub-Episode 4|once]].<br />
<br />
Despite the name, "Collosal" [[Chris-Chan]] appears to be [[Obesity|exactly the same size he always is]].<br />
<br />
The first thing he does is rescue [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]]. Arriving in Minnesota, he jacks into the [[Hex Bawx|HEXBox]] of [[Alec Benson Leary]], enters its [[computer]] world, somehow deletes everything connected to the [[Asperpedia]], and blows up the HEXBox. He later helps Chris's version of the ''[[Asperchu]]'' characters in their fight against Metal Asperchu before traveling back to [[CWCville]] to finally confront [[Mary Lee Walsh]], whom he defeats promptly and unceremoniously. <br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Powers==<br />
<br />
Collosal Chan has strange, almost godlike powers, the most basic of which are flight and telepathy. On top of that, he is shown to enter the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] effortlessly and retrieve [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], connect into a computer's USB port with his finger, create a version of himself to destroy everything, and create a Lightning Bomb that allows for controlled destruction by way of force fields. <br />
<br />
He also has some basic combat abilities, most of them already available to regular, pussy [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|human Chris]] anyway. During his final fight with Mary, Chris is capable of creating solid weapons presumably out of pure electricity that [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|greatly resemble]] Kratos's blades from the video game ''[[God of War]]''.<br />
<br />
While logically, Collosal Chan has access to all the powers of his previous forms and any other Sonichu or Rosechu, these abilities have yet to be utilized. Collosal Chan can reasonably be expected to possess any power Chris considers necessary to save the day. <br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:ColossalChan.jpg|Collosal Chan<br />
Image:SchuComic10P44.jpg|With [[Ultra Sonichu]]<br />
Image:ColossalChanRealistic.jpg|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES<br />
Image:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|The final battle<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Manchester_High_School&diff=126789Manchester High School2010-11-24T03:40:15Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent four years of Chris's life]]<br />
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|right|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian, Virginia]], was attended by [[Chris]] from [[1996]] to [[2000]] (ninth grade to twelfth grade). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life.&lt;ref>[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7&lt;/ref> Chris proudly slept through much of his [[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High_school_.28grades_9_through_12.29|high school]] life.&lt;ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],&lt;ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8&lt;/ref> [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], "Coping Skills" and a lot of [[art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''Honor Roll Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''&lt;ref name="teen">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]&lt;/ref> However, according to the video [[Song of Christian]], he failed [[English]] class during his sophomore year of high school. <br />
<br />
Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery "M" for this work.&lt;ref name="teen" /><br />
<br />
==Accomplishments==<br />
[[Image:0242-CWC&amp;VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]]]<br />
<br />
;10th Grade<br />
* [[Song of Christian|F in English Class]]<br />
<br />
;12th Grade<br />
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story "[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]"<br />
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''<br />
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]"<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Social life==<br />
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]<br />
<br />
Most of Chris's friends were [[gal-pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating "odd" and "even" days). There were immature boys on the school bus, which he dreaded. Chris's purported friends:<br />
* [[Kellie Andes]]<br />
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]<br />
* Sarah B.&lt;ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], pages 9 and 13&lt;/ref><br />
* Miranda, partner in Science class&lt;ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 14&lt;/ref><br />
* Molly, happy and giggly&lt;ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6&lt;/ref><br />
* [[Joseph Herring]]<br />
* Brian, [[JERK|boyfriend]] of Sarah&lt;ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
==Go Lancers!==<br />
<br />
Chris' servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other males throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory. So much so, that he continues to obsess over it ten years after graduating!<br />
<br />
A few references were slipped into the comic. In [[Sonichu_7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Manchester High was featured heavily. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu]] back in time to [[1996#1996|1996,]] when Chris was a student. In [[Sonichu_9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleading outfit.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==The Seinor Prom==<br />
<br />
Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. [[Gal-pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris. Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.&lt;ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]&lt;/ref> That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.<br />
<br />
===Gallery===<br />
<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg<br />
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|Don't go groping anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'<br />
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg<br />
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Dat ass. Seriously, Chris was probably more interested in the food than the lovely young lady.<br />
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point<br />
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.<br />
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg<br />
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Graduation==<br />
<br />
[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris actually looking kinda classy, in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]<br />
<br />
For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:&lt;ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had MORE FANCIER AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!<br />
<br />
I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it [[Autism|without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands.]] I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack.]]<br />
<br />
In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:&lt;ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|<br />
So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(<br />
<br />
[...]<br />
<br />
I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, "Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright."<br />
<br />
Even now as I type this, I am still *&amp;$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].<br />
}}<br />
<br />
The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.&lt;ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
==Lingering attachments==<br />
Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at someone with [[autism]] in a public school can get you suspended. If Chris' current life is [[kick the autistic]], Chris' school life must have been pity the retard.<br />
<br />
Despite these good feelings about his high school experience, he has mentioned to [[Jackie]] that while there, he was bullied and physically assaulted on several occasions. As a result of this, there is uncertainty about whether Chris really did enjoy high school.<br />
<br />
Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: "I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated." A good half a dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and past sweethearts]]" (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.<br />
<br />
There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, where Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga.<br />
<br />
==Reunion plans==<br />
In his "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts" page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris notes that he looks forward to attending his class reunion. He doesn't say exactly when this will take place, but 2010 is the 10th year since Chris's graduation.<br />
<br />
On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], wherein he reveals that, up to that point, he hasn't heard anything about a coming reunion, and he's decided to organize the reunion himself.<br />
<br />
In the video, Chris refers to a slideshow presentation at his graduation that apparently said "See you in 10 years for the reunion!", which Chris has [[Autism|interpreted]] as a reunion being [[Chris and his Ego|PROMISED]] to him. Of course, it's entirely possible that they are holding (or have already held) the reunion without Chris.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|Tungsten. That is all.<br />
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager<br />
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note<br />
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes<br />
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1<br />
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2<br />
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Sauce==<br />
&lt;references /><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[The High School Story]]<br />
*[[Honor roll]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.chesterfield.k12.va.us/Schools/Manchester_HS/home.html Homepage]<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Wikipedia article on Manchester High School]]<br />
<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Places]]<br />
[[Category:Education]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Honor_roll&diff=126788Honor roll2010-11-24T03:40:12Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the slack-jawed stare says so much more.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos[sic] de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|Ricardo Weston Chandler}}<br />
<br />
Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points [should be "puntas"] of HONOR ROLL. Good!<br />
<br />
{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}} <br />
Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in high school is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt on this claim.<br />
<br />
==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==<br />
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.<br />
<br />
*In [[Sub-Episode 1]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just trolled your heart down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.<br />
*In his [[Miyamoto_Saga|e-mails to Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.<br />
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].<br />
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].<br />
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia biography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.<br />
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his autism.<br />
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.<br />
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from February 2009 announces that he made the honor roll.<br />
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].<br />
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.<br />
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.<br />
<br />
==Chris made the honor roll?==<br />
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. Depending on his school's standards for who winds up on the honor roll, it may not represent that impressive an achievement, especially if Chris was able to rack up the required grade point average with remedial course work instead of normal classes. In some schools, the only requirement is a minimum GPA, so anyone with a GPA of, say, 3.5, is on the honor roll, even if every single course was a remedial course. For what it's worth, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in 2004 noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. It's also noted that often times with honor roll, it's not hard to get honor roll if you have done all your homework and class work and did adequate on tests, even in a normal class setting. So, A in homework, and C in tests, MIGHT average to the B area, at least enough to be considered in the honor roll.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, it's not completely out of the question to consider that Chris might have been able to get decent grades in school. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also rages ''I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.<br />
<br />
Chris's basic cognitive functions work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his laziness, naïveté, egotism and raging hormones have obviously led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain...but then if he weren't so blinded by his ego, he would never have believed that Nintendo was interested in his shitty knockoff character in the first place.<br />
<br />
So, is Chris too stupid to have made the honor roll? Maybe. Is Chris too gullible, arrogant, and led about by his [[duck]] to function in real life? Definitely.<br />
<br />
One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the piles of shit that litter his house, he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others, or he's just too lazy to get up and find them), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them. On the other hand, he's probably had them all along, and would never reveal them because they prove that he's the dumbfuck we know him to be.<br />
<br />
Contradictorily, Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note; transcripts are not too difficult to obtain.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Manchester High School]]<br />
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category: Chris-chan]]<br />
[[Category: CWC-isms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook&diff=126787Sonichu 0 Official Videobook2010-11-24T03:40:02Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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</div><br />
[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|''Sonichu 0'']]<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #0 Official Videobook''' is a series of videos made by [[Chris]], in which he reads and comments on [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. He started uploading these videos on 10 [[September 2009]]. <br />
<br />
The [[PSEye]] soldiers on valiantly, but with much skippage.<br />
<br />
*In Episode 1, Super Sonic collided wit' a Pikachu... and the world gets a little more retarded!<br />
*In Introductions, the Chaotic Combo make their first appearance!<br />
*In Episode 2, Sonichu and Rosechu get all the way to [[Dating Education|Date Number 2]]!<br />
*In Episode 3, we find out that, for the record, <br />
{{quote|HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE IS STRAIGHT!}}<br />
*Next up are Classic Sonichu Strips!<br />
*And in Sub-Episode 1, a [[Jerkop]]-tastrophie!<br />
<br />
==Episode 1==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 1: Sonichu's Origin<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bizxbwMqHfQ}}<br />
| Stardate = 10 September, 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Episode = [[Episode_1|1]]<br />
| Other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Sonic]], [[Kel]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]]<br />
| previous = n/a<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
'Ello, [[Chris and his Ego|you should know me by now]], this is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] here! <br />
<br />
[''Shows [[High School Ring]], grabs [[Scrapbook of Fail]]'']<br />
<br />
And I'm sittin' behind the camera as I'm about to start off my own regimen of the uh, audiobooks, the OFFICIAL audiobooks. <br />
<br />
''[opens Scrapbook]'' [[Vivian]] is a hack when it comes to these; so I'm gonna show you how it's really done. But, anyway, just to make it clear, you know, any names, persons illustrated in any of the comic books, except that of me that may seem similar to anyone, real or fictitious... are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. So anyway, lets begin. <br />
<br />
The c- the cover for Book Number Zero. Yeah, the hand-drawn premiere issue. <br />
<br />
'''Chris''': "Go, [[Sonichu]]! Go out and zap to the s- extreme!"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''':[''nasal''] "I will! Thank y', Father!"<br />
<br />
And we're just gonna keep on going with the page flipping at this point, so moving on. <br />
<br />
====Episode 1: Sonichu's Origin.====<br />
<br />
Our story begins in an open field five miles from the city of Station Square which is under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]. While [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] ponders over the destruction, a wild male Pikachu takes notice of the far off destruction.<br />
<br />
'''Pikachu''': "Piiika? Hm?"<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': "Hmm. I am Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu's creator and author of this comic series. And this stor- and this is his story and nothing less."<br />
<br />
Meanwhile! <br />
<br />
'''Perfect Chaos''': "Errr." [''WSSHH-Pshh'']<br />
<br />
[''Sonichu Theme Music: DER-DER-DERRR-DDEERRR!''] <br />
<br />
'''Pikachu''':"Ouch!" [''WSSHH-GASP''] <br />
<br />
About fifteen miles away... there's a girl Raichu. And ''she'' gets hit! Hit by the [[chaotic rainbow]] that will change their lives forever... <br />
<br />
[''FSSHHW''] [[Kel]] [[Homos|comes out]]. At the cottage. <br />
<br />
'''Kel:''' "Raichu I saw the... [''gasp''] who are you, and what'dja do with my Raichu?" <br />
<br />
'''Transformed Raichu:''' [''gasp''] "Kel, I am your Pokémon. I was hit by a rainbow, and now I have transformed!"<br />
<br />
'''Kel:''' "Oh my, you're as beautiful as a rose."<br />
<br />
'''Transformed Raichu:''' "As a rose? I need a new name, since I am a new [[Pokémon]], so you can call me... [[Rosechu]]"<br />
<br />
'''Transformed Pikachu:''':"Mm? Ohh... Wha? [''gasp''] I've changed. Huh? The battle is on! I've got to help! It's time to zap!" [''sound effects''] <br />
<br />
'''Transformed Pikachu:''' "Well, I almost got 'em."<br />
<br />
'''Perfect Chaos:''' "RAAARGGH!"<br />
<br />
'''Transformed Pikachu:''':"THUNDAAAAAAaar!"<br />
<br />
'''Crowd''': [''crowd cheers''] Yaaaay. Yay. [[Sonic]]. Sonic. Yay.<br />
<br />
Later on,<br />
<br />
'''Transformed Pikachu''': "Wow, what a battle. Not only that but I've received super speed, and a new body, and above all else, I'm able to talk like a human now. And apparently, I look like that hedgehog I've helped earlier. From the cheers, I guess his name was Sonic... Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic had just about the same abilities as I do now, and I guess I am now a hedgehog now too. I am a new Pokémon, I am no longer a Pikachu, so with that inspiration I am now... [[Sonichu]]!"<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': "And from then on, Sonichu went on to make new friends, as well as enemies, and he will use his abilities to stop evil and save the world. Stay tuned for more zapping adventures of Sonichu!"<br />
<br />
==Episode 2==<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 2: Genesis of the Lovehogs<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gMk6TCPG3nA}}<br />
| Stardate = 10 September, 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Episode = [[Episode_2|2]]<br />
| Other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Kel]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_1|Episode 2]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_3|Episode 3]]<br />
}}<br />
NOTE: ''Introductions'' and ''Episode 2'' are in the same video, but are treated as separate chapters in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]&lt;ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection ''Sonichu'' #0] on [[CWCipedia]]&lt;/ref>.<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
====Introductions====<br />
<br />
[''enter a long narration by Cartoon CWC'']<br />
<br />
As the creator of Sonichu and as well, I feel I should take on a trip and learn more. Besides, I promised my other Hedgehogs as well. So let's tour my section of the cartoon world. The comic title is ''Sonichu''. By that we mean the saga of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]], as well as his friends and comrades. <br />
<br />
Location: it is set in and around the city of [[CWCville]], [[Virginia]], a vibrant community with cool people, an av- and average amount of cool places to chill at. I am the Mayor. <br />
<br />
Characters: <br />
<br />
This is Sonichu, Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon, and main character. Currently on the year [[Sonichu chronology#2004|2004]], he is sixteen years old. His hobbies include running, surfing and chillin', mostly outdoor activities. Other things he enjoys is scenery around him. His favorite colors are yellow and blue, and he enjoys popular music. And he loves Rosechu. Yay~<br />
<br />
This is Rosechu. She is a spunky, beautiful girl of Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon. She is fifteen years old in 2004. Her hobbies include [[sex|frolicking]] through the fields, shopping at the [[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville mall]], and [[Women's Rights|cooking]]. Her original trainer, the caring girl Kel... "Rosey" is Rosechu's nickname, and she likes to pick flowers. Her favorite flower is the [[Zapbud]]. She keeps her heart saved for her Sonichu. <br />
<br />
This is [[Kel]]. She's Rosechu's caring trainer. <br />
<br />
[[Naitsirhc]], the son of Team Rocket boss, [[Giovanni]]. <br />
<br />
[[Black Sonichu]], a.k.a [[Blachu]], Sonichu's [[Liquid Chris|evil twin]]. He was created Giovanni's lab with an accidental cose of cherry cola with Sonichu's DNA. His lair- wids lair be changed- later his name would be changed to Blake.<br />
<br />
From the [[rainbow]] of chaos emerald energy, [[Christian's sex joke|eggs]] were released into the various locations around the world. They hatched inta five more electrical hedgehogs with special charactarisstiss. When they all- when the hedgehogs all get together, they create the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Also released from the rainbow were seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]], which would be the emphasis around the Sonichu series, equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds. They are the [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Sonichu Crystals]]\. <br />
<br />
Anyway, this is [[Wild Sonichu]]. He was raised in a jungle by a Venusaur and a Scyther, who taught him Razor Leaf and how to... ass- asse- how to access his speeds and ninja skills. <br />
<br />
This is [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. She was raised by a mother Swampert who taught her how to create tidal waves. Bubble has a happy positive personality, and she just loves to have [[sex|fun]]. <br />
<br />
[[Angelica Rosechu]]. She was raised in a church by nuns, she is a believer, and she [[Mass debating|prays]] every night. She is usually the peace- at peace, especially while she is flying sky-high. <br />
<br />
[[Punchy Sonichu]]. He grew up in a dojo where he is perfect his punches. He is also full of [[random-access humor]]. He lost his tail in a brutal fight. <br />
<br />
[[Magi-Chan]]. He was raised- he raised himself in the mounds as the, uh... as he meditated, and perfect his telekinetic powers. <br />
<br />
Respectively, Wild is a Grass-Electric, Bubbles is Water-Electric, Angelica is Flying-Electric, Punchy is Fighting and Electric, and Magi-Chan is Psychic and Electric.<br />
<br />
Later to be a one-time character possible with more times to be seen, this is [[Flame the Sunbird]], protector of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone|Master Sunbone]] and mysterious [[Rainbow Island]]. <br />
<br />
Another mysterious origins, three more hedgehogs will rock CWCville. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Saramah Rosechu]] and [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
And then just for a two- and then just a couple of villains for the introductions, we got [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the witch]], and the slew- and the slew of her [[Jerkops]]. <br />
<br />
And lastly there's me, the intrusive creator in Sonichu's story, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]. To describe myself in real life, I am [[Things Chris has ripped off|very creative person]], I enjoy playing video games; [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pokémon]], ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' among other things, even ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' currently and ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. I also like to build with [[Lego]] pieces. I enjoy most kinds of music. I am also fascinated with the [[Transformers]], and I also play the [[Pokémon]] and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' trading [[card games]]. I am 5'10", I was born February 24, 199- [[1982]]. I am working toward- I was working towards [[CADD|computer-aided drafting degree]] at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmont Community College]] at this time, I graduated with both of them already. I'm currently single and... need girlfriend, [[Homos|even though I am actually branching out currently]], in the year- in this- at this time- and I'm actually working- and I am actually brought- gettin' more successful each day. And please enjoy the best of this comic and more on the current Sonichu site, which is also known as [[CWCipedia]]. Too bad I had to lose the, uh, original address to the damn, dirty trolls. <br />
<br />
Now, <br />
<br />
====Episode 2: Genesis of the Lovehogs.====<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''':[[A Hike|[''heavy breathing'']]] Ohh... since my transformation, my new bigger body needs more food than before. Nuts, apples and berries aren't gonna cut it anymore. It's been over a week now and I'm ''sooo'' hungry. Not only that but I feel lonesome. Huh? Wooow... Where's that angel running off to?<br />
<br />
Also on a director's note just to let you know, they met two weeks after that event in Station Square, which happened in the year [[Sonichu chronology#2000|2000]]. And they did not get married until the year [[Sonichu chronology#2006|2006]], so they had a long time to hang around each other and love each other very fondly and truly. Anyway.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Ahh! So, she lives in that cabin. And with her trainer. Maybe I can get a bite- a stite to eat as well. <br />
<br />
'''Kel''': "Mmm. Did you have a good run, Rosey?"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''':"Ehh, so-so."<br />
<br />
'''Kel''': "Well come on in, I'm fixing some [[Wikipedia:Brunswick stew|Brunswick stew]]."<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Hmm... Dince my transformation last week- a couple weeks ago I've felt so lonesome, because there's no other... ss- Pokémon around like me to love.<br />
<br />
'''Kel''': "Oh relax, Rosey. What about my Dragonite David? He's loyal."<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Ah come on, Kel! David's [[duck|just too big]] for me! I can ya have him! Yib- me- I mean, you can have him, I don't want him!"<br />
<br />
'''Kel''': "Well, can't say I didn't try! For all we know, your love could be just around the corner." [''knocking''] "Or right at the door!"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''':"I'll get it! Hello, how may I- I-yi-yi-yi..."<br />
<br />
Mmm.<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''': "Hey, I'm just a wild one who hasn't eaten much in over week. Can you help me out?"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': I don't believe it! Handsome Pokémon, like I never l- h- like I've learned? Who's like-me-I've-got-to-learn-more-about-him! [''shrieks''] "COME ON IN! WOW! So what's your name?"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''': "I'm Sonichu!"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "I'm Rosechu, but you can call me ''anytime''."<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''' :"Hmm... I might call you Rosey."<br />
<br />
Hehehehehe!<br />
<br />
"Hey Kel, we have a guest! Hey, Rosey's my nickname."<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''' :Boy... I thought ''I'' was the speedy one! Well, she's cute anyway, heheh.<br />
<br />
'''Kel''' :"Who is it, Rosey? The stew is almost ready!"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Kel, this is Sonichu! He wishes to break bread with us!"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''' :"Hello!"<br />
<br />
'''Kel''': Wow, another hedgehog Pokémon! And a man for Rosechu! Eh, this must be faaate. "Nice to meet you Sonichu, have a seat with Rosey, stew's almost ready. Go ahead and entertain your new boyfriend!" [''Chris giggles in glee'']<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "So, what's your favorite color?"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''': "Uh... yellow. No, blue!"<br />
<br />
One night later! One night, a few ''days'' later!<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Oh, isn't the night sky so romantic?"<br />
<br />
:"Boy, sure is!"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "I could just sit here and look at it for hours with you!"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''': "Yeah, but then we'd fall asleep together! Heheh... And I wouldn't have it any other way."<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Oh Sonichu, I'm so happy with you! I love you!"<br />
<br />
'''Sonichu''': "And I love you, Rosechu. As long as birds tweet, you are muh lovely [[heartsweet]]!"<br />
<br />
'''Rosechu''': "Awww!"<br />
<br />
[''FIREWORKS! FSHEEW! POO PEW PEW PEW PEEEEEEEW! POO PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEEEEW!'']<br />
<br />
==Episode 3==<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 3: Sonichu versus Naitsirhc!&lt;br>(&amp; Classic Sonichu Strips)<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|axK8mpHgMVA}}<br />
| Stardate = 10 September, 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Episode = [[Episode_3|3]]<br />
| Other = Featuring the voices of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Cartoon CWC]], [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu]], [[Kel]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Black Sonichu]], [[Slaweel]], [[Barbara Chandler]], and [[Saramah]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 2]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode 1]]<br />
}}<br />
NOTE: ''Episode 3'' and ''Classic Sonichu Strips'' are in the same video, but are treated as separate chapters in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]&lt;ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu_Comic_Collection ''Sonichu'' #0] on [[CWCipedia]]&lt;/ref>.<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
====Episode 3: The First Battle Encounter: Sonichu versus Naitsirhc!====<br />
<br />
'''Naitsirhc''': "EEEHRGHHEEH, I'm from Team Rocket! And I'm... [[Naitsirhc]], son [[Giovanni]]! Team Rocket, Brighter than light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"<br />
<br />
:"Release Rosey, now!"<br />
<br />
:"Than we will fight! Zapdos, Go!"<br />
<br />
:I can't believe this, even after what happened... Earlier, when Kel ha- had to run some errands at CWCville mall, she allowed me to borrow- she allowed Rosey to borrow her credit card. I had to make sure Rosey didn't spend over 100 dollars.<br />
<br />
Heheheheheh.<br />
<br />
:At first it was easy, due to willpower, but then with all the sales and coupons...<br />
<br />
:"Hmm! Twenty dollars for this lovely brace-et? Wait! 75% off? AWRIGHT!"<br />
<br />
:Heh! Well, I'm not Superman!<br />
<br />
HAHAhahaha, Ahh. <br />
<br />
:Thankfully we- thanky- thankfully Kel gave me cash for luuunch, but how was I know that the cheeseburger had [[pickles]] on it? Eh!<br />
<br />
:"Ueaah, that was that was great! What's wrong, [[Sweetbolt]]?"<br />
<br />
:"I-I HATE PICKLES!"<br />
<br />
:[''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Meatwad]] impression''] THE BUN IS IN THE MIND!<br />
<br />
[''Chris totally loses it''] HOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOOO! <br />
<br />
:[''Pshhhhhiiiiu!''] [''gasp!''] A Zapdos snatched my love!<br />
<br />
:"HEEELP!"<br />
<br />
:Which brings us up to date. Excuse me while I save my sweetheart!<br />
<br />
SKY UPPERCUT! Drill peck. MEGAA-KICK! Wing attack. Double Team. Oh-oh, I'm confused! Eheheheheh.<br />
<br />
Here comes the final blow!<br />
<br />
[''long silence and pans across page''] [''PSH!''] <br />
<br />
:"UAAaah!... Oh!"<br />
<br />
[''PPPPPPSHHHWEEWWWEEEEE!!'']<br />
<br />
:"Ey! I wouldn't miss out on this action!" [''PSHHH! PSHHHKEW!'']<br />
<br />
:"Return to me! Envo- Enjoy your victory now, hedgehog. But we will meet again! And when we do, I will capture you for my father and Team Rocket! Let's go, Raikou!"<br />
<br />
:[''crowd''] YAAAAAAY!<br />
<br />
:"Oh, sweetbolt, you're my hero! Thank you!"<br />
<br />
:"I was astounded wi' how you battled, Sonichu! You rock!"<br />
<br />
:[''crowd''] Yes, Thank you, Sonichu!<br />
<br />
:"As mayor of the city of CWCville, I congraduate you on your victory, and I thank you for saving the day! Good job, Sonichu."<br />
<br />
:"Thanks!"<br />
<br />
A little bit later, after the fight. <br />
<br />
:"Hm. Well, Sonichu, I feel this comic is my best work yet!"<br />
<br />
:"I think so too, pop! But wow, all this fantastic creative, and you are still girlfriend-free?"<br />
<br />
:"Eh, bothers me too. But I will never give up. I will find my [[sweetheart]] yet. Well, I gotta go back- I gotta go back to Charlottesville's mall to try again!"<br />
<br />
:"Good luck!" [''car noises''] There he goes, with a grin on his face! In the end, he'll keep on saying 'one girlfriend, please.' Because he'll probably again- he'll probably fail again, wit' the dang sign of his or whatever... but, he's so brave, I'm proud of him anyway. And for the record, HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE IS STRAIGHT! GET USED TO IT.<br />
<br />
And now, for some <br />
<br />
====Classic Comic Strips====<br />
<br />
June to- <br />
<br />
=====June 13, 2004.=====<br />
<br />
Sonichu, 25 years later. One possible future, anyway.<br />
<br />
:"Wow, honey! You're quite the hard worker! Hmmmm."<br />
<br />
:"Ahhh, thanks, sweetheart! I could cut a hundred logs before breakfast! But I ate lunch couple hours ago!"<br />
<br />
AHAhahehehaha!<br />
<br />
Metonic and Vamprosa! Sonichu plus Metal Coat and Trade makes Metonic. Rosechu plus highest-friendship lvel and level-up at midnight: Vamprosa.<br />
<br />
June thir-<br />
<br />
=====January 3, 2004=====<br />
<br />
:"Well, Sonichu, I've been living my life and beautiful."<br />
<br />
:"Hey Rosey, what's new?"<br />
<br />
Woops, I for- messed that up, but ah whatever.<br />
<br />
:"But seriously, I wish I didn't have to work so hard. I'm so tired of it! But being with you- a girl being with you, a great friend, makes me feel better. A whole lot better!"<br />
<br />
:"Me too, Rosey."<br />
<br />
:"Anyway, I'm..."<br />
<br />
:[''grumbles'']<br />
<br />
:"And that's how it's been!"<br />
<br />
:"I understand your feelings. Here, Happy Valentine's Day!"<br />
<br />
:"Aw, you're so sweet!"<br />
<br />
:"Huh? What's up..."<br />
<br />
:"Black Sonichu! Quit following us around!"<br />
<br />
Ehahah!<br />
<br />
Drawn<br />
<br />
=====March 18, 2004.=====<br />
<br />
Christian and Sonichu versus the [[Slaweel|Mastermind]]!<br />
<br />
:"Ah, since you will not leave me alone on my love quest, we have no choice but to fight you, SLAWEEL THE WITCH!"<br />
<br />
:"Eeheeheheheheh!"<br />
<br />
:[''together''] "ONE SHOT IS ALL WE GET!"<br />
<br />
:"Curse-ye-ha-me..."<br />
<br />
:[''straining sounds'']<br />
<br />
:"Eeheehehehe!"<br />
<br />
:"HAAA!"<br />
<br />
:"And thunder attack!!"<br />
<br />
:"Heehehe--AAAAAAAAAIIIEE!"<br />
<br />
Booyeah! Ooh, yeah! Knocked her down! Ooh, yeah!<br />
<br />
Hmm,<br />
<br />
=====May 8, 2004=====<br />
<br />
drawn. <br />
<br />
:"Sonichu! Naitsirhc has my mom! We have to go save her!"<br />
<br />
:"I'm with you, Chris! Ha- he won't get away with this!"<br />
<br />
:"I just hope that she's alright."<br />
<br />
:"Heheheh! When those hedgehogs learn of your capture, they will run right into my trap!"<br />
<br />
[''PSHW! FSHH!'']<br />
<br />
:"Naitsirhc! Release my mother, or we will give you the shock of your life!"<br />
<br />
:"Yeah!"<br />
<br />
:"Take one step closer, and I'll press this button! Which will make your mother's cell explode!! You don't want that, do you? Ehaha!"<br />
<br />
:"Step huh, how about a spark? Sonichu!"<br />
<br />
:"Got it!"<br />
<br />
:"OH NO! He zapped my rem- mote control apart!"<br />
<br />
[''PSHH''] I changed back.<br />
<br />
:"Are you alright, Mom?"<br />
<br />
:"I am now, thanks to you and your Sonichu!"<br />
<br />
:"Happy Mother's Day!"<br />
<br />
Heehee.<br />
<br />
Drawn<br />
<br />
=====December 5, 2004.=====<br />
<br />
:"Slaweel! This is a trap!"<br />
<br />
:"That's right Chris-chan! There's no escape from my magic and my jerkop squad! You want a girlfriend? TOUGH LIGHTNING!"<br />
<br />
:"BRING IT ON!" [''PFWW''] "D'Ow!" [''flop''] "Dirty rats!!"<br />
<br />
:"Oh no! Chris!"<br />
<br />
:[''PSHH''] "I gotta save him from those fiends!" <br />
<br />
:[''PSH!''] "Oh, shoot!" [''WSHWSHWSHWSH'']<br />
<br />
Changin' back!<br />
<br />
:"Chris! Are you ok?"<br />
<br />
:"Uh! Nicole! You save me! Thank you!"<br />
<br />
:"Well! Tyrranyoppression is against your quest, huh? Let's rest for a while, then I will help you. You want a girlfriend? You got it. I will help you, e'en though I'm already taken."<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 1==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in Jerkop-Tastropie<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DwpSLqAh_Aw}}<br />
| Stardate = 11 September 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sub-Episode_1|Sub-1]]<br />
| Other = Featuring the voices of [[Cartoon CWC]], [[Jerkhief]], and [[CWC]].<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2|Episode 3]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook#Episode 4|Episode 4]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
Eh, my first comic adventure, myself in <br />
<br />
====Jerkop-tastrophe.====<br />
<br />
[''sigh''] On this day, March 24, [[2005]], it's been over a year and seven months since I began my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]]. I still haven't found my sweetheart. This sweetheart search is, makes me suffer some frustration, and the other things that add to that are my loneliness, my [[stress]], the [[fail]]ures, and all those... MEN. ARGH! Every last one of them! Taking all the women! Leaving me with none to choose from! They're all jerks! I HATE THEM ALL SO MUCH AT THIS TIME. Arrrgh. Back in the year 2005- I have a lighter opinion now at this turn- current time when I upload this video... meow. Anyway. And those evil jerkops won't leave me alone either. I'm just a lonely, frustrated virgin looking for true love and honest trust with a good sw- with a good woman to be my sweetheart, ALL RIGHT! Jeez, is that so much to ask?<br />
<br />
:"Anyway, [''singing DOOT-DO-DOOT-DO-DOOT-DO-DOOT''] Hey! I'm calling you out!"<br />
<br />
:"Huh?"<br />
<br />
:"I'm so sick of your complaints and tears and on and on about how lonely you are, and how you need a girlfriend! You're just a [[Lies|liar]], you solicitor!"<br />
<br />
HAAAH-SHOCK!<br />
<br />
:"How dare you! I'm only looking for [[TRUE and HONEST|true, honest]] love and trust! True love and honest trust! So just leave me alone, you villainous jerk!"<br />
<br />
:"No dice! My fellow Jerkops will fight you, and force you to leave!"<br />
<br />
:"[''wrong voice'']I don't wa- [''normal voice''] I don't wanna fight. I will defend myself if I need to!"<br />
<br />
:"ALRIGHT! Cuff him!"<br />
<br />
[''fighting noises'']<br />
<br />
:"Oh, I'd better transform quickly. Electric! Hedgehog! Power!" <br />
<br />
[''swishing magic transformation-type noises''] [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
:[''rapping''] "[[Random-access humor|Here we go, let's rock and roll with things that make you go "hmmm." Everybody dance now!!]]"<br />
<br />
:"All right, okay, myuuh. WATCH ME NO! Metal Armor, Equip!" [''TICKTOCKTICKTOCKTICK''] [''PPPPBBBT!''] "Rocket Punch!"<br />
<br />
[''fighting noises punctuate the following sequence'']<br />
<br />
Mega-Kick!<br />
<br />
Back Missile! "Missile comin' out my back! EEHUHUHEUHEUEHEUHU!"<br />
<br />
Do a double Team! So it goes right through me!<br />
<br />
I launch a laser beam!<br />
<br />
I deflect with Mirror Coat!<br />
<br />
:"AAaargh! My armor!"<br />
<br />
Thunderbolt!<br />
<br />
:"Aaaahhh!"<br />
<br />
:"Give it up now! Leave me alone, and we can end this battle!"<br />
<br />
:"No way. I'm not done with you yet!"<br />
<br />
[''PSH!''] Barrier. [''tinkling'']<br />
<br />
:"[[Fuzzy-wuzzies]] get you hugs. [[Prickly-Wicklies]] get you slugs! You gave me a slug, so I give you my secret ultimate attack! [[Curse|CURSE-YE-HA-MEEEE... HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!]]"<br />
<br />
:"OOORRHH ARROOUUHH!! Oh. Wait a minute. Ha! I didn't feel a thing!"<br />
<br />
:"Oh, you will."<br />
<br />
:[''slip!''] "SPLAAHHW!" [''crash!''] "AH, MAN MUH GLASSES!"<br />
<br />
:"Uh...Chief? Your wife just called. She has divorced you, she's left you, she took all your things, she took your children too, also she hates you for your dirty smoking habit."<br />
<br />
:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"<br />
<br />
:"Yep, I've cursed you with bad luck and extreme misfortune. This would notta happened if you had not challenged and threatened to me, as well as not leavin' me alone, with my ever so frustrating sweetheart search and [[love quest]]. Call me a lying solicitor, picked on my methods of attracting a boy-friend free, 18-to-current-age-year-old girl, whom I can love and trust truly and honestly, and most importantly, handcuffing me on September 11, 2004 for no dang good dirty reason! I hope that you have learned to... never mess with a [[Virgin with rage|truly frustrated virgin]], when he is on a quest for a s- girlfriend to share true love and honest trust with."<br />
<br />
:"Urrhh...my soul hurts!"<br />
<br />
:"So did mine! And my heart was previously shattered, too!"<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for more Audiobooks. By the original creator and master. As they are official and true. Do never buy [[Audiobooks|the fakesss]]. Peace out.<br />
<br />
==Notes==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Book 0 Videobooks|linkname=Sonichu Book 0 Videobooks}}<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Videobooks}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_Moon&diff=126786The Moon2010-11-24T03:39:51Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Moon.jpg|thumb|'''THE MOTHERFUCKING MOON''' IRL...]]<br />
<br />
'''The Moon''' (''Luna''; Σελήνη ''Selene'') is Earth's only natural satellite. It is also the only entity that is of comparable size to [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]. It also plays an important role in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' universe]]. <br />
<br />
==The Moon to Chris==<br />
While the Moon is generally considered an object of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU9SNOvLW6E beauty and mystery], Chris sees it as nothing more than a garbage dump/prison camp to send all of the world's "undesirables," chiefly [[tobacky]] and evil dudes. (See below)<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==In the comics==<br />
[[Image:Damoon.jpg|thumb|...and in the comic. Kinda lost a lot of its splendor, huh?]]<br />
<br />
The Moon first appeared in ''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]'', where [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] both professed their love for each other while gazing upon it.<br />
<br />
In ''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'', the generic, throw-away villain [[Metal Sonichu]] was defeated and tossed into the Moon by [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and Sonichu.<br />
<br />
[[Silvana]] was born and raised on the Moon by [[Count Graduon]], who also [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|gave her a penis for no real reason]]. She is quoted in an interview with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' as saying that the Moon is "very lonely" and that there are "no friends on the Moon".<br />
<br />
In ''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]'', magical moonbeams turn Chris's dog [[Patti-chan]] into a sentient being capable of human speech.<br />
<br />
''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]'' indicates that the CWCville authorities launch regular Moon-shot operations in partnership with NASA to do away with any contraband. Vacationers on the Moon may therefore be guaranteed a regular supply of free marijuana, tobacky, and other delightful mind-altering substances.<br />
<br />
Before putting his comics on hiatus, Chris announced on the [[CWC Blog]] that he planned to toss [[Count Graduon]] into the Moon, where Graduon would possess [[Metal Sonichu]] and become a key villain in the events of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and beyond.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==In reality==<br />
[[Image:Themfingmoon.jpg|thumb|left|What will inevitably happen if Chris keeps shooting all the bad guys to the moon.]]<br />
<br />
Although he has softened his stance regarding [[alcohol]], Chris remains firmly opposed to [[tobacky]]. The Moon is where he believes a rocket containing every last scrap of the offending plant should be shot &amp;mdash; not the Sun, according to the tortuous reasoning he cobbled together in an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well.|Chris, showing that there is no limit to how stupid he can be.}}<br />
<br />
Now, he's definitely [[Honor Roll|confusing the meaning of "galaxy" with that of "solar system,"]] but that doesn't make the statement any less stupid. On a similar note, he seems to have missed the memo that Pluto is no longer a planet as of 2006, as he only watches cartoons as opposed to news programs. Also, regarding Chris's claim of tobacky poisoning the solar system, he fails to realize that the molecules responsible for the smell of tobacco would be dissociated well within Mercury's orbit by radiation powered by the Sun's thermonuclear core. However, this fact will not permeate through Chris's hollow skull because he's too retarded to grasp even basic science.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Fan:Moon-Pals|''Moon-Pals'']]<br />
*[[Tobacky]]<br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Moon}}<br />
[[Category:Places]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=I_AM_STRONG&diff=126785I AM STRONG2010-11-24T03:39:42Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Martinezstrong.jpg|thumb|[[Joshua Martinez]] is also STRONG]]<br />
<br />
"'''11012009 I AM STRONG'''" is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 1 [[November 2009]] in which he acts like he got muscles. (Spoiler: He [[fail]]s again.)<br />
<br />
He also got a [[hair]]cut. [[Barbara Chandler|Chris's mom]] decided to go with the "elderly [[Homos|lesbian]]" look, as opposed to Chris's recent [[For Chris II|middle-aged manchild]] look. Also, notice Chris's profuse [[Stress|sweating]]. For his sake, we can only assume that he's trying his best to speak like a professional wrestler, even though he ends up sounding like Kermit the Frog with a sore throat.<br />
<br />
The purpose of this video is vague, though it is likely that this video is an attempt to scare [[Clyde Cash]], whom Chris thinks is scared of flexing and talking in a funny voice.<br />
<br />
== Video ==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = I AM STRONG<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9g5_CxoRtdI}}<br />
| stardate = 1 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Power|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{BlueLogoShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]<br />
| next = [[Twin Falling Towers]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[[Image:Strong_Man.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]<br />
<br />
[''Chris reaches away from the camera, as "Eye of the Tiger" begins to play. For several seconds, he flexes his jelly-like arms, grunting enthusiastically. He coughs briefly from the effort before launching into his rant.'']<br />
<br />
[''Trying to sound tough; sounds more like [[Wikipedia:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''] You tink you're so tough... [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|you think you're so tough]], no you are not! You are weak!<br />
<br />
[''Chris points at the camera mockingly, in the fashion of [[Wikipedia:Hulk Hogan|Hulk Hogan]], a gesture he repeats throughout the video.'']<br />
<br />
Dis battle is fer... this war is far from beyond over [[Clyde Cash|Mister Clyyyyyde]]! You got nothin'!<br />
<br />
[''Chris holds out his fist, with the [[Amnyfest Ring]], in a menacing gesture.'']<br />
<br />
YOU GOT NOTHIN'! You are weak and very powerless! I am the strong one! I AM STRONNNG! You back down! You... are a weakling! I AM THE STRONG, BUFF ONE! GRRRRR! ARRRRRRR!<br />
<br />
[''Chris returns to posing and grunting until the video concludes.'']<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[30 Push-Ups]]<br />
*[[11042009 51 50|51 50]]<br />
*[[Chris Loses It]]<br />
*[[CWCFighter]]<br />
*[[Power]]<br />
*[[A Workout]]<br />
*[[AHike]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcSV3GMNxBA I AM STRONG MAN], a prophetic fan music video from two days earlier (based on [[10112009]] and [[10122009]])<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]|nextlink=[[Twin Falling Towers]]|}}<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
{{Clyde Saga}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_Contest_NEVER_was_to_Determine_Who_was_Who&diff=126784The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who2010-11-24T03:39:31Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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On 15 [[August 2009]], In an amazing turn of events, the false Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], revealed the purpose of the [[SingStar Challenge]]. It never was to determine who the real Chris was. It was [[lie|all just for fun]], which is why the video is titled '''The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who'''. Despite saying so, he says that there is time for the judges to change their votes on who was the winner. A performance of "[[So Need A Cute Girl]]" ensues.<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|dPa6t4ZzDDw}}<br />
| imagewidth = 250<br />
| Stardate = 15 August 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music<br />
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]] Saga<br />
| Shirt = {{CreepyRobe}} Creepy Robe<br />
| previous = [[NO_D***_WAY,_IMPOSTOR!!!| NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTER]]<br />
| next = [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction| Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]<br />
}} &lt;/center><br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
[''Ian shows his [[ring]]''] Haa, I'm making this video to uh, clear a record.<br />
<br />
The Singstar Challenge was NEVER to verify which one of us was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everybody on the internet knows that I am, that he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would quit his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edge-wise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND '''ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN!''' Worse than [[Robert Chandler|my father]]! <br />
<br />
[''[[sigh]]s''] Anyway, it was just basically a fun thing. Only for fun. It never was meant to determine who was who! But just to play it safe, I am going to give y'all the big sample.<br />
<br />
Again, the contest was only for fun, never to determine who was WHO. Because everybody knows dang well. Anyway, here is the classic, of which has been in my heart, that made women realize there was a guy still out there. [[Virgin with Rage|A virgin]], waiting. <br />
<br />
[''Ian, once again, plays "[[So Need A Cute Girl]]"'']<br />
<br />
Compare that, to the original, which got bootlegged, wrongfully, from a copy of my [[DVD]]. Have a good-have a nice day. Peace. <br />
<br />
[''[[camera]] cut''] Oh, and also, there is still time, and it is optional, for the judges to change-their-votes. <br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]|nextlink=[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]|}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}<br />
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Contest Never was to Determine Who was Who}}<br />
[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Relics_of_Fail&diff=126783Relics of Fail2010-11-24T03:39:30Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{protip|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Cool, just see if it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}<br />
The '''Relics of Fail''' are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. These are the Relics of Fail.<br />
<br />
==The Major Relics==<br />
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]: Since the Sonichu medallions were stolen, Chris has claimed this [[autistic|mysteriously]]-named high school ring is the TRUE source of his power.<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]: A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded.<br />
*[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC on TV" DVD]]: A DVD composed of many home videos, among other things such as his [[Song of Christian]].<br />
*[[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]]: Apparently convinced this counts as a real guitar, Chris is often seen with his beloved [[Guitar Hero]] controller in attempts to look cool. It frequently has the opposite effect.<br />
*[[Medallions of Fail|Medallions]]: Hunks of Crayola-brand modeling clay fashioned into the shape of Sonichu's head, among other characters' heads. Once believed by trolls to be the source of his power, they were swiftly corrected, and now Chris shows off his Amnyfest Ring to show that his videos are true and honest.<br />
*[[PSEye]]: The window through which trolls can catch glimpses of Chris and his day to day life.<br />
*[[Scrapbook of Fail|Scrapbook]]: A three-ring binder containing all of Chris's comic pages and other drawings.<br />
<br />
==The Minor Relics==<br />
*[[Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|Hand-drawn Nintendo Power]]: A lengthy issue of ''Nintendo Power'', customized to show Sonic ditching Sega to join Nintendo and revealing a little bit of what Chris wants in a Sonichu game.<br />
*[[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]]: An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works, born of Pixelblocks. It is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, Crystal.<br />
*[[Pedo-Glasses]]: Have you ever noticed how pedophiles and rapists in composite sketches wear these kinds of glasses? Yeah. Don't think too hard about that.<br />
*[[PSP of Fail|PSP]]: Yet another vessel for Chris's video game obsession. Chris, in typical Chris fashion, has decorated it with images of his flagship character and his own face.<br />
*[[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon Poster]]: One of many things Chris presumably masturbates to in order to keep himself heterosexual.<br />
*[[Son-Chu]]: Chris's car. Also apparently a Transformer.<br />
*[[Muscle bra]]: Actually, just a sports bra, which Chris sadly wears, thinking that everyone will be turned [[Homos|gay]] if they don't wear one, too. [[Fail|In reality, the opposite might occur.]]<br />
<br />
==The Lesser Relics==<br />
*[[Belt Buckle of Fail|Belt Buckle]]: Not a very well-known relic but nonetheless extremely amusing.<br />
*[[Clown Doll]]: A harmless-looking clown doll, significant in that it often bears the brunt of Chris's fury in his many rage videos.<br />
*[[Li'l Chris]]: A stuffed bear—not, in fact, Chris's [[duck]].<br />
*[[Megatron pistol]]: A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls|foes]].<br />
*[[Plush Breasts|Plush Boobs of Fail]]: A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.<br />
*[[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]: Like the PSP and Guitar Hero controller, this poor Wiimote has been decked out in Sonichu colors and was used in Chris's attempts to get [[Miyamoto]] to make him a video game.<br />
*[[Pocket knife]]: A knife that Chris can't handle at all.<br />
*[[Pokéwalker of Fail]]: A Poké Ball-shaped pedometer originally packaged with the [[Pokémon|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] versions, recolored in the image of one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].<br />
<br />
==The Shrines of Fail==<br />
*[[The Wall of Originals]]: A monument to the wastes of time known as Chris's original Pokémon cards.<br />
*[[Megan Shrine]]: Chris's display of his disturbing obsession with the one [[Megan|girl]] he thought he truly had a chance at. Spoiler alert: he never had a chance and never will.<br />
<br />
==Artwork of Fail==<br />
*[[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]: Even the simple task of drawing a straight line to depict a drinking straw evades Mr. Weston Chandler.<br />
<br />
==The Holy Fails==<br />
{{protip|Procure one of these and upload them to CWCki and you will be a fucking God amongst men.}}<br />
While not traditional relics in such that Chris has emotional value, per say, these are Chris related relics that are of immense value to trolls but, like the fabled Holy Grail, seem impossible to obtain.<br />
<br />
*[[Autism papers]] - presumably papers detailing Chris's exact psychological diagnosis. While a psychiatric survey from [[2004]] has been procured, the original papers documenting Chris's diagnosis are currently locked away in a filing cabinet in [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] room. <br />
*'''Transcripts and report cards''' - Chris's transcripts and report cards, to verify whether if he was indeed on [[honor roll]] and to what degree his claims about his high school grades are true. <br />
<br />
{{Relics of Fail}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=ECV_00002&diff=126782ECV 000022010-11-24T03:39:14Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[File:ChrisChanTechnologyMR.jpg|thumb|How Chris uses science and technology to achieve his ultimate transformation.]]<br />
<br />
'''ECV 00002''' is a video uploaded on 10 [[October 2010]] in which [[Chris]] uses the power of [[Random Access Humor]] and jump cuts to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his Super-Mode]]. <br />
<br />
The results are mixed; Chris at least attempts to use the same pose and positioning before and after the jump cut, but this baby step towards competence is overshadowed by a [[retard]]-fall back by the slip-shod cosplay self-paint job. An odd, incomplete white field over most of his face meant to resemble [[Sonic]]/[[Sonichu]]-style eyes, a cone-ear constructed out of construction paper (which regularly falls off, despite Chris's lack of movement), and a white "chest-fur" patch, which is supposed to be an outline of the [[Medallion of Fail]] only serve to further damage Chris's physical appearance. <br />
<br />
In the video, Chris makes his obligatory shout-out to his [[Love Quest|sweetheart-of-the-moment]], once again showing that this latest surge of videos have been made for [[Jackie]], who couldn't possibly be a [[troll]], and [[honest|HONESTLY and TRULY]] loves Chris with all her [[heart]] and soul. Furthermore, it's implied from Chris's words that he has yet to physically meet Jackie.<br />
<br />
The [[Plush Breasts]] make a cameo appearance in this video. Chris also holds a [[PS3]] Navigation Controller in his left hand, though it once again appears to serve no purpose.<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = ECV 00002<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Nr7zJTSBSF8}}<br />
| stardate = 10 [[October 2010]]<br />
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Sex|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}, Body paint<br />
| previous = [[A Hike]]<br />
| next = [[100 2277]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
Hello, folks! Hm. Well, [[Monty Python|and now for something completely different]]. [[Electric hedgehog]] power! PEW!<br />
<br />
[''Jump cut. Chris is now dressed as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The transformation straightens his back, lowers and bends his arms, and moves a few items in the background'']<br />
<br />
Pew. [''Chris-chan Sonichu's right ear begins to fall off''] This would be me in my super mode! [''Chris puts the right ear back on''] ...if I actually had super powers! [''The right ear falls off yet again, but is put back in place''] [[Chris and reality|But I don't in real life.]] But I dressed up like this anyway, to, I don't know, [''The same ear falls off yet again, promptly readjusted''] just to say something or just to have fun. <br />
<br />
Anyway, live an [[Honest content|honest life]], don't [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]], don't [[Chris_Drops_the_N-Bomb|badmouth people]]... It's just not cool. You know? Don't pic- don't torture me. At least I am doing this and... I have myself a woman, [[Chris and his Ego|so there]]. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Especially these videos]]. <br />
<br />
[[Jackie]], I [[love]] you. I want to hold you in my arms, [[sweetheart]]. You come over right on here and we'll [[Chris and sex|do each other]] right. [[Sex_tape|Sweet times]]...<br />
<br />
[''Pause.'']<br />
<br />
Alright, anyway, stay in school, stay well... um... you know. Just live [[Chris and English|rife]] peace- live peacefully. Don't take- don't [[Chris and anger|be angry at people]]. Don't be mean. OK? A'ight. Take care.<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-chan Henshin <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MPeuSdTo0NI}}<br />
| Maker = rba718<br />
| Stardate = 10 October 2010<br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lDSQAmLPbw0}}<br />
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]<br />
| Stardate = 10 October 2010<br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Sailor Chris-Chan's Ultimate Transformation<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4hTnkuWg1Z8}}<br />
| Maker = ChristopherCooler<br />
| Stardate = 11 October 2010<br />
| Video Type = [[Sailor Moon]] remix<br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-chan is a hypocrite <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IJoF_eA_lX8}}<br />
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia<br />
| Stardate = 12 October 2010<br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Fan art==<br />
<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
File:Hpowers.jpg|Electric furry powers!<br />
File:128678188337.png<br />
File:128677654690.jpg<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Hike]]|nextlink=[[100 2277]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
<br />
{{Cosplay videos}}<br />
{{Sweetheart Videos}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=6_June_2010&diff=1267816 June 20102010-11-24T03:39:13Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://uvetysudema.co.cc UNDER COSTRUCTION, PLEASE SEE THIS POST IN RESERVE COPY]=<br />
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[[Image:CWC drunk driving.png|thumb|A summary of the events of 4 June 2010.]]<br />
<br />
'''June062010.MOV''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 6 [[June 2010]] wherein he discusses a plan he hatched while drinking to stalk [[Michael Snyder]] at the [[The GAMe PLACe]]. This is after mentioning less than a week ago that he was leaving the [[Internet]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|for the fourth time]]. <br />
<br />
In early June 2010, based off his own description, Chris was [[alcohol|at a bar]] in Charlottesville when he drove off to The GAMe PLACe to go after Michael Snyder, leading to a confrontation with a [[manager]] when Chris took out his camera and attempted to take pictures of Snyder. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. [[jerkop|Two police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas, listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken.<br />
<br />
Chris, probably scared of their reaction, never told [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] anything at all about this major incident, and they did not know anything about until the [[Matthew Noble call]] two months later.<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
On 6 June 2010, Michael Synder commented on several Chris related [[YouTube]] videos:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|[[Michael Snyder]] on YouTube}}<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
{{quotebox|**Do Not Believe Anything that has been posted On The Internet, Outside of This YouTube Account, as of May 28, 2010.<br />
<br />
This Includes EVERYTHING that was said OUTSIDE of here, the Once Was [[Cwcipedia]] Before its Most Recent Hacking and my [[OKCupid]] Page.<br />
<br />
[[Ego|I have spoken.]]<br />
<br />
Have a good day,<br />
<br />
Christian W. Chandler}}<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = June062010.MOV<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dMZAsb2ALIM}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[June 2010]]<br />
| subject = {{Rumours|Rumors}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Game Place|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim}} The Happy Jack<br />
| previous = [[100 2189]]<br />
| next = [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''sigh''] June 6, 2010. At this, uh, moment, I, uh, have an understanding that there are misconceptions and rumors being spread about me, which, uh, I would like to state, very- right off, that rumors- spread rumors about anybody, especially to make them look terrible, is just ''not cool''. But anyway, uh, first off, I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "''piddle'' my [[Chandler Cats|cats]]." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more. <br />
<br />
[''A long pause, where Chris seems about to speak several times.'']<br />
<br />
[[Image:Tianasquare.jpg|thumb|200px|Michael Snyder in [[China|Tiananmen Square]]]]<br />
<br />
Anyway. After that, let me tell you about, uh, what happened, uh... [''removes [[glasses]]''] ...last Friday at the, uh, fourth of June. Hm. Okay, so it was after- [[Fridays After Five]], I went over to a bar, and I had a [[Alcohol|Bud]]. A bottle of Bud. And I p- and then I played some solitaire on my [[DS]], while I- while I waited to the- uh, while I waited to the hour. But then, about, about three-quarters of an hour through, because I had a camera in my possession right then, I had the impulse of, "Hey, I'll go over to th- I'll go over to [[The GAMe PLACe|the PLACe]] and take a picture of Michael Snyder so that I can print it out later and [[CWC is Angry|use it as a dartboard]]." So then- so that- that's just basically what happened. So then I drove over to the parking lot, of the PLACe, in front of Staples, and then I made my way to the window to take a picture of ''him'', and nobody else. ...Right through the store window. Through the store window, just him. And that, uh, that, I was not alone there in front of the, uh, window, there was another dude who was apparently on his side and recognized me. He wanted to start a [[CWC Fighter|fight]], but, in a fi- in a fight or flee, I decided to flee. So I went to [[Son-Chu|my car]], the man ran in and got Michael, and then Michael ''jumped'' in front of my car. He jumped in front of my car. He- as a matter of fact, he jumped on to the top of my hood! He was looming over my windshield! <br />
<br />
It was horrifying. So I backed my car up. I backed my car up. And I- and I backed it up to my r- to my right. Then I see that there was, like, a couple of [[Jerkop|police]] cars in front of me, so that was like the wrong way to go, I should have backed up the other way. But anyway. So, to go around them... I went to another... aisle, and I drove through that. And then, so then I- then I decided to make a left turn. Bad, bad m- bad move right there. 'Cause he jumped in front of my car again, risking his own life! I could have been going top speed! He was lucky he didn't get hurt, as far as I know! Though I did not run him over. Jumped in front of my car, so I back up. And then I tried going around. And then this- and then this woman, I don't know who- I do not know who the [[Chris and Censorship|blank]] she is, she jumps in front of my car, so I stop again. And then I started backing up, and then I get stuck from behind, and then I'm trapped. Between the, between police and Michael and whoever the hell this woman was. So then I sorted it out with the police, uh, they dele- they deleted the pictures, and, uh, and the wom- and then the woman... t- the woman came to me right up front and accused me of things, like, you know, [[Nudes|see- seeing naked pictures on me on the internet]], and then accused me of child pornography! [[Rule 34|''I'' am ''not''... a pornographer of any sort!]] And any [[Nudes|naked pictures]] of me on the internet were either tricked from me by the [[trolls]], where they s- deceived me, or I was blackmailed! And there ''were'' a number of blackmailings! As th- as they have sss- ratted themselves out, on the CWC- on their websites such as the [[CWCki]] or even the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] webpage. Anyway, the... through- and also, uh, Michael just basically loomed into me, and he said, he just basically shouted from me, [[Death threats|"YOU'RE DEAD!]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|YOU'RE DEAD!"]] Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment! [[Chris and English|So there's already under trouble for quote-unquote trespassing.]]<br />
<br />
[''Another pause interspersed with attempts to speak.'']<br />
<br />
And then, so, with that I told the police about... I reminded them, eventually, of- of the trolls of the internet that have, uh, been going against me, and so I warned them of websites such as the CWCki. ''And'' I named a troll or two. I'm not gonna say, uh, [[Clyde Cash|who I named]]. But anyway, they let me go with a- anyway I was let go with a warning, out of the parking lot. The point- th- the point is, the only pictures I was taking were of Michael Snyder. Nobody else! No children. ...I want to make that very clear. And also, I do not want any more rumors spread at all! It's bad enough you have to have ruined- you had to messed up my once-good name, and have to transfer it to real life. Which may, which, uh, I basically got that impression first-hand for practically the first time, so proved that theory, and it made me feel sad, because I am not the villain! The trolls are the villains. Because they spread- 'cause they troll me. They make up the crap. They exaggerate and/or twist around my truths. My spoken word. And they give me wrongful mislabelings. [[It's UGH!|I'm ''straight''!]] And they use damn Photoshop! To make it look like otherwise.<br />
<br />
[''Another long lip-flapping pause.'']<br />
<br />
So at this point, with my spacing myself away from the Internet, and I'm trying to put my name back at a [[Chris and English|clean state]], I p- I so- I put this unto everybody, and all people who look me up on the Internet. Do ''not'' believe ANYTHING... that- that's at all about me. Because I pretty much did away with my website, the CWCipedia...So do not believe anything that there is on the Internet about me. If you want clarification, send, uh, me an e-mail, or talk to me in person. I ''encourage'' talking to me in person. 'Cause then we can meet- 'cause then it will be face to face. And there is no better way of reflecting my [[Honest content|honesty]] to you, the general public, than face to face. ...I want to go back to [[PS3|a normal life]]. And one way I could do that, to help go back to do that, is to quell the bad reputation. So again, I encourage everybody who looks me up on the Internet, since there's nothing- since I have removed most everything about myself personally... don't believe anything on the Internet about me at this point. Don't believe anything on the Internet about me! <br />
<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[America|United States of America]]. I leave y'all with that, and I bid y'all... a good day or evening depending on the time zone.<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2189]]|nextlink=[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]}}<br />
{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Pedofork&diff=126780Pedofork2010-11-24T03:39:05Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}<br />
[[Image:Pedo_exposure.jpg|thumb|300px|A pedofork [[Fridays After Five|in action]]]]<br />
<br />
A '''pedofork''' ([ˈpɛdofɔrk]), a portmanteau of "[[Wikipedia:pedophile|pedophile]]" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage.<br />
<br />
This term was coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]." <br />
<br />
Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.<br />
{{-}}<br />
==Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies==<br />
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|Not a pedofork]]<br />
<br />
Although the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' series was originally intended for children, Chris put a bunch of porn into [[issue 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. This included graphic depictions of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] having [[sex]], and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her.<br />
<br />
Chris later stated in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]] that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." (Note that several U.S. states already have 16 as the age of consent, but Chris's experience of the world outside [[Virginia]] is minimal.)<br />
<br />
He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said 14-year-old character and her eight-year-old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him would reappear in the "elevator gag" in ''Sonichu'' #8.<br />
<br />
To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has ''some'' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted with shock when Larry mentioned how another Internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]], a six-year-old character from the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' series. Though, at the time, Chris was under the impression that Spax3 was a villain from an upcoming Sonic game. Also of note is that Chris's ED userpage still contained Rule 34 of the very same underage character (which was later used in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]).<br />
<br />
{{Quote|It's okay where it [the legal age of consent] is, but yeah, if changable [sic], Sweet 16; another good reason it would be a "Sweet" age.|Chris, not even trying to be subtle, from [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]]}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Pdf.jpg|thumb|It may save your life]]<br />
<br />
On a number of occasions, he's suggested that if he were given the opportunity, he'd be willing to date and have sex with young women who are below the legal age of consent.<br />
*In [[Mailbag 54]], Chris discussed his fondness for ''[[Wikipedia:Gunslinger Girl|Gunslinger Girl]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Shuffle!|Shuffle!]]'', two [[anime]] series noted for their jailbait characters.<br />
*In a series of [[Facebook messages#Christina Katherine Trevillian|messages on Facebook]], it was revealed that, even after learning his target was underage, Chris continued to pursue her.<br />
*Chris repeatedly insists that showing graphic sexual content to children is not only acceptable, it is normal, healthy and educational. To wit, it's okay to have sexually explicit content in a children's comic or let your kindergartners watch TV shows loaded with sex and adult humor. Chris also thinks small children would be interested in sex, enough to seek out adult content on their own, such as watching softcore porn on Cinemax late at night.<br />
*In the [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] elevator gags, Chris includes porn of several underage characters, including [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic (15), Amy (12) Cream the Rabbit (6)]], The Powerpuff Girls (Around 5 or 6), and [[Pokemon|Misty (around 10-12)]]. In addition, one of the drawings from Rosechu's photo shoot earlier in the issue was traced from the cover of a furry doujinshi featuring Amy Rose.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
*[[Chris and sex]]<br />
*[[Pedo-glasses]]<br />
*[[Gaybian]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_56 Rosechu and "...those dumb laws."]<br />
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_3 The disturbing Zapina page]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kNrlediMZc Chris-Chan is a Pedophile (REMIX)]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Asperchu_is_a_Horrendous_Joke&diff=126779Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke2010-11-24T03:39:05Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|Chris's closing statement.]]<br />
<br />
'''Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''' (officialy '''01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] in the early hours of 17 [[January 2010]]. After Chris finally changed his [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], he decided to read every page of [[Asperchu]] and give a critique of Alec's comic. <br />
<br />
Surprisingly, it's not very favorable, and Chris spends almost ten minutes whining about all of the things he doesn't like about it, including a lot of stuff that [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris does in his own comic]]. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and [[Evan]] (but for some reason, not [[Sonichu is Dead|Sean]]) with the terrible might of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|pastor]] (who disapproved of [[Vivian Gee|Vivian's]] [[A_Girl_who_Brought_Down_the_World|book]]) and the [[Lies|FBI]]. One of Chris's major points in his argument is that he was set on fire in the comic, and calls it [[Nudes|"horrendous"]]; apparently, [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting somebody in the legs]] is perfectly fine, though. Also of note is that despite Chris saying that he hates Asperchu, he still took the time to download each page of it onto his [[PS3]]'s hard drive.<br />
<br />
Chris also heavily implies that his [[Patti|dead dog]] is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.<br />
<br />
This video also defines what Chris considers to be "[[homos]]exually oriented." In addition to casting his male characters as homosexuals (though [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is straight) and putting pictures of nude male models in the background of some pages, Chris feels that his sexuality is questioned by characters using the word "fag" and [[Niggo|Jivin]] engaging in heterosexual intercourse (though Jivin's partner was very ugly and Chris may have confused her for a guy).<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -BIG BELLY -Man Boobs -Goatee -Glasses -wears MY shirts -Patti-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!<br />
<br />
Graphic Nudity/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2<br />
<br />
Homosexual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21<br />
<br />
Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1<br />
<br />
Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1<br />
<br />
Anti-Religious: Books A and B }}<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ncX4KOlHtzA}}<br />
| imagewidth = 250<br />
| Stardate = 17 January 2010<br />
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] Fan Art<br />
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}<br />
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] The Napoleon<br />
| previous = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]<br />
| next = [[22 January 2010]]<br />
}} &lt;/center><br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
[[Image:pattysvengefulsoul.jpg|thumb|[[Patti]] will have your soul for dinner tonight]]<br />
<br />
[[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 17th, 2010.<br />
<br />
I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I shouldn't have not have had to make such a video, because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [''Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his TV.''] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages... of hi- of Alec's... [[Asperchu]]. Unedited, all fresh from the website, [[Autism|organized by page number]]. In my playlist.<br />
<br />
[''The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a continually changing [[South Park]] "Dynamic Theme" background.'']<br />
<br />
First off, just to name a few things, there's an o- there are the obvious... sturdy slanders! [''The cover of Asperchu 0 comes into focus on the TV''] And obvious references to with I mean the [[Obesity|old Buddha belly]] that I [[Lie|used to have]], exaggerated manboobs, and even the [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]] I used to ha- I had one time. And he makes him- and he makes... his Asperchu character wear nearly every [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.<br />
<br />
[''The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like [[Patti]].'']<br />
<br />
And then to make matters worse, he goes and be—sssmirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy flop- a crappy copy of my dog! My d- Patti will- Patti's- the spirit of Patti will [[Chris and religion|have his soul for dinner tonight]]! She will be haunting your [[Dreams|nightmares]], Mr. Leary.<br />
<br />
[''Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of Asperchu's Take on [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]'']<br />
<br />
And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my charact- of my person within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia].<br />
<br />
[''screen returns to page select'']<br />
<br />
That was issue C page 19, by the way.<br />
<br />
[[Image:BurningManchild.jpg|thumb|He sets me on fire!]]<br />
<br />
And then even worse! Starting on page C29 [''Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu''], he sets me on fire! He sets me on fire! [''Chris moves to the next page''] And then even worse, continues lettin' me be on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the [[Gun Comic|most outrageous ''thing'']] that he has ever done against me.<br />
<br />
[''Back to page select'']<br />
<br />
But I could get- I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|peeing on himself]] within his own comic series. Starting with, of course, with a few from his first book [[Sonichu 8|of graphic nudity or sexual reference]] on page three of his 0 book. Even worse off, on page 10, and while he's in that Burger King! With all his goddamn homosexual references as well!<br />
<br />
[''Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the Asperchu date plot in book one. [[Chris and reality|None of them contain any homosexual references]]. He then returns to the page select.'']<br />
<br />
And he's done like a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these si- i- find such nude images on pa- on 0- book 0, pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, and book A, 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29. Book B, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, AND book C, page 2! They put in so many ho- put, like I said, put in ho- so many homosexual references between books... 0, B, and 1.<br />
<br />
And he uses uncensored swear words, such as [''Camera swings back to Chris''] shee-it and ''ass''! In between all- in between all of his books! So many [[Chris and hypocrisy|goddamn]] of those. And his- and his A and B books are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books. That little son of a bitch, he's pee- he's basically peeing on h-his own self.<br />
<br />
Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- few page- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of [[Sonichu_8#Alternate_versions|lemon for vagina an' bananas for... dick]].<br />
<br />
[[Image:LEMONS_cwc.png|thumb|LEMON FOR VAGINA!! BANANA FOR DICK!!!.]]<br />
<br />
[''Chris makes a revolted face at having just said the word "dick," then scratches the back of his head.'']<br />
<br />
And it was f- and da- and da- and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propate for all- for all those of ages, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|TV-Y7]]... and such. And I- and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, [''voice cracks''] but he does not censor his own swear words. <br />
<br />
But like I said, [''Chris reaches down for his script''] he's basically gone to the things aga- he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my- between the bu- between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing- h'yeah. A c- a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son- and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [''Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face''] and makes my- and makes what is- makes his ver- and makes HIS quote-unquote "Sonichu clone" go against me as being- as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s- the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar- as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano- that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from- aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.<br />
<br />
And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number 0 on pages 19 through 24, including- ''including''- the homosexsual references, he supposedly thinks there's a- that- he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville and it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [''Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it''] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [''Resumes wandering around the room''] HE IS NOT ''ME''.<br />
<br />
So uh I am send this message again to ''Alec'', ''Evan'', and even ''Mao''- I have less offense with Sean by the way, but to those three...<br />
<br />
[''Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry'']<br />
<br />
[[Death threats|DIE. DIE IN HELL.]] And I hope the soul of my late dog... eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep. <br />
<br />
[[Image:Chris rages yet again.png|thumb|Chris on Vivian's book from a few months earlier. He changes his story a lot.]]<br />
[''Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it'']<br />
<br />
But aside from that, his boo- his book is the pages within the so-called Asperchu... series? [''scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment''] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [''starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more''] Even a horrific s- even as horrific as within [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian Gee's own book]]. And my pastor rissal- Elizabeth Hoss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh- my reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace... and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but actually this [''points to the TV''] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab- let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and to all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the '''''F! B! I!''''' We will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister '''''ALEC BASON LARRY!'''''<br />
<br />
[''pause, head scratch''] We get the FBI on our side. [''long pause''] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!<br />
<br />
Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.<br />
<br />
==Rebuttal==<br />
<br />
Within hours, [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia's]] Mao made a rebuttal video calling Chris out on his hypocrisy.<br />
<br />
{{Deletedvideo}}<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
{{#ev:youtube|GNk24SsVxaY}}<br />
&lt;/center><br />
The video was promptly given a prominent position on every page of the [[CWCipedia]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
*[[Asperchu]]<br />
*''[[Sonichu 8]]''<br />
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|nextlink=[[22 January 2010]]|}}<br />
<br />
{{Captain's Log}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Ivy_O%27Neil&diff=126778Ivy O'Neil2010-11-24T03:38:55Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|But anyway, Ivy is not a [[troll]]. She is real. She is true. And she is my [[sweetheart]]. We are going to be together in the near future and we are going to have [[sex]]. We're going to lose our virginities to each other... and it's going to be awesome. &lt;br>&lt;br> Ivy is real! We are going to be together! Foreverrr!|[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Ivy.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris-Chan actually believed]]<br />
<br />
'''Ivy O'Neil''' (also spelled '''O' Niel''', '''O'Nial''') (17 March 1992 – July 2009) was [[Chris]]'s [[sweetheart]] from 25 [[March 2009]] to the first half of [[May 2009]].<br />
<br />
Something about Ivy brought out the crazy in Chris to levels rarely seen before or since. The Ivy saga resulted in three ''[[Sonichu Special 1|Sonichu Specials]]'', four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos (including conclusive proof Chris drinks his own [[semen]]), a long awaited [[Tour of Christian's House|tour of his house]], a new [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album]], procuring [[CWC is Angry|The Lost Video]], the emergence of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]] as troll obstacles, images of the new [[Medallion of Fail]] while he's wearing [[butt garments]], and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior. Despite this, many people (notably [[/cwc/|Krapplefags]]) bitch about how Ivy failed and did nothing.<br />
<br />
Due to the increase in absurdity of Chris's behavior in this period, there are many fags who thought, and still think, that Ivy is a figment of Chris's imagination. <br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
[[Image:Ivy.png|thumb|left|Image first posted on [[/cwc/]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], Chris gave a shout out to "Avi" and her friend Rachel. These were originally assumed to be code names for [[Emily]] and her friend Stephanie to protect their identities. The next day, Chris edited the video to blow kisses to "Avi".<br />
<br />
The video [[CWC's Message for Ivy]] on 20 March confirmed that Chris was actually saying '''"Ivy"''' and that he had already moved onto a new girl the same day he was tricked by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. This video was deleted and so some people did not know about it until four days later.<br />
<br />
On 21 March, Ivy was introduced on [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
==Character==<br />
<br />
Ivy is frequently seen with her sidekick [[Layla|Luckett]].<br />
<br />
Ivy has crabs. Her pet hermit crabs are named [[Crass and Champ]].<br />
<br />
Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, women with red hair were excluded along with blacks and non-[[boyfriend-free girl]]s).<br />
<br />
==Honeymoon==<br />
[[Image:Dearest Ivy by Chimerica.jpg|thumb|The [[Wedding Comic]] was so sparse other artists had to fill in.]]<br />
<br />
On [[2009#April|27 April 2009]], a [[Giant Penis Comic|comic featuring what Chris thinks would be his perfect honeymoon]] was leaked. <br />
<br />
In this comic, Chris starts out by presenting himself to Ivy's father, a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[police]] officer dressed in blue with a real metallic badge. They later go to a "Double-CWC" hotel thought to be in [[CWCville]] (apparently a rip-off of the real Double Tree luxury hotels). They both enter a room with as many as 5 Glade lavender air fresheners, presumably there to mask the stench of his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs| uncontrollable bowels]], all filled with hearts made of rose petals. They promptly start having sex.<br />
<br />
During the sex scene, Chris first starts out by pulling off his tuxedo and his dress pants, revealing his trademark striped shirt and medallion. Then he pulls out his ''ludicrously enormous'' [[duck]], as in the size of a ''human leg'' — which mysteriously happens to shrink later to a normal size in order to fit into Ivy's vagina — before they both transform into their fursonas: Ivy into a non-descript [[rosechu (species)|rosechu]], and Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. Once they're done, they both raise their heads in awe and shout "THANK YOU, [[God|GOD]]!".<br />
<br />
Afterwards, Chris and Ivy are shown having what Chris thinks of as a fancy dinner: grilled chicken, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and [[Semen|CWC Orange Soda]] served in wine glasses.<br />
<br />
Explanations for why he considered such a cheap-ass honeymoon are varied. Some people believe it's due to Chris's good ol' narcissism. Others believe this is because Chris was raised in such a dirty and sloppy household, that stuff most people would consider mundane is very luxurious to him (consider the fact that he's fantasized about taking his first [[dating|date]] to ''[[McDonald's]]''). Others, meanwhile, believe this is because Chris, being the deranged, socially inept manchild that he is, has never been to a fancy restaurant.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Break-up==<br />
<br />
One of Ivy's main goals was to get Chris to continue working on his comic. However, Chris didn't want to finish it because [[Rocky]] was tipped off and so Chris feared she would break up with him.{{cite}}<br />
<br />
Ivy had been planning to break up with Chris for a while, but [[Joshua Martinez]]'s concurrent trolling effort as [[Vanessa Hudgens]] forced her to postpone. When it was suspected that Josh was trolling Chris for cash instead of the lulz, Ivy and her friend told Chris to cancel the check he'd made out for a "special" [[PSP]] from "Vanessa." The attempt to help Chris backfired, as Chris thought he would be [[fail|clever]] if he gave Josh a check he knew was bad, and then kept the PSP, insisting that "Vanessa" would be "upset" if he gave it back to Josh. On top of that, Ivy discovered that Chris had been stealing money from his parents for his [[PSN]].<br />
<br />
The $30 check cancellation fee upset Chris's parents so much that they went to the police. [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] decided to mention the trolls and had the police do a background check on Ivy.<br />
<br />
She decided to break up with Chris and hung up on him during a phone call. She told Bob they were just friends and that Chris had been harassing her with more than 500 phone calls. Bob probably didn't relay the message to his son, so Chris probably still thinks it's okay to call girls over 20 times a day.&lt;ref>[[Clyde Cash]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
On the night of 14 [[May 2009|May]], the following was written on Chris's [[ED]] talk page:<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.<br />
<br />
Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?<br />
<br />
Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler.|Chris, recovering from the crestfallen emotions}}<br />
<br />
Chris has since removed all Ivy-related videos from his [[YouTube]] account. Unexpectedly, he went back to searching for girls in the real world, and for a time his [[love quest]] became a [[fuck quest]].<br />
<br />
==Death==<br />
[[File:IvysDeath.png|thumb|right|An artist's depiction of Ivy's untimely death.]]<br />
<br />
"Ivy" committed suicide by hanging in July 2009 "from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me" according to Chris. He tastelessly uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a belated memorial.<br />
<br />
In November 2009, he [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92 described Ivy's death in a giant wall of text] in [[Sonichu 9|the comic]]. During the PVCC's assault on CWCville, she was apparently trapped in a collapsing elevator, got the cables tangled around her neck, and was strangled to death despite [[BILLY MAYS]]'s best efforts to save her. The page laying all of this out carries a brief dedication: "In memory of [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu-Girl]], **Ivy O'Niel**".<br />
<br />
All this suggested that Chris had forgotten (or willfully blotted out all memory of) the evidence that Ivy was a troll.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I love how CWC could have just said she died in an elevator crash, and we all would've gotten it. Like, it exploded, or whatever.<br />
<br />
Instead, he has to paint this visual of her being caught in an elevator cable and having her neck snap, hanging in an empty elevator shaft swaying back and forth until someone opens the doors and sees the horrific sight in front of them.<br />
<br />
Beautiful. Only an autistic genius could come up with that.|Anonymous Krapplefag on this page}}<br />
<br />
==Life after death==<br />
On 19 [[April 2010]], Chris updated the [[CWCipedia]] with a page containing various profiles of his "[[gal-pal]]s and past sweethearts." Among them was a brief and somewhat ambivalent mention of Ivy:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations. Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good. Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer. Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months. She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused. Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.|Chris, on the CWCipedia}}<br />
<br />
Chris's feelings about Ivy are difficult to interpret. It's possible that he has partially processed and accepted the evidence that she may have been a troll, but still wants to hold out some kind of hope that her feelings for him were sincere.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?<br />
Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|Chris is [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for an hero]].<br />
Image:CWCsIvyKiss.jpg|"FUCK IT'S [[Episode 2|EPISODE 2]] ALL OVER AGAIN FUCKKKKK" - [[Vivian Gee]] &lt;ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro#t=2m32s Sonichu - Special Episode 1! The Audiobook! Clyde VS Chris!]&lt;/ref><br />
Image:350meko.jpg|Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.<br />
Image:Ivy Jammies.jpg|Moar original art from Ivy.<br />
Image:IvyRing.jpg|IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME...<br />
Image:IvysRosechu.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Rosechu]].<br />
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Bubbles]].<br />
Image:Layla.jpg|Ivy's OC, [[Layla]].<br />
Image:IvyWedding.jpg|If the first thing you noticed was&lt;!--"was" modifies "first thing"--> the zapbuds, you are beyond redemption.<br />
Image:Ivypickle.jpg|Even the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in the Pickle Suits]] love Ivy.<br />
Image:Princessivy.png|Princess Ivy, Ivy's fursona.<br />
Image:CWC,Ivy,fursona.jpg|Chris-chan Sonichu and Princess Ivy together.<br />
Image:IvyBondage.jpg|Bondage: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!<br />
Image:Cwc&amp;ivy34.jpg|Rule 34 even applies to Chris's heartsweets. <br />
Image:CWCRescuesIvy.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|Our heroes mourn Ivy's death, or something like that.<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==References==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:O'Neil, Ivy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Dead]]<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Megatron_pistol&diff=126777Megatron pistol2010-11-24T03:38:54Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{taxpayermoney}}<br />
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[[File:Guncomic.jpg|thumb|100px|left|True story]]<br />
[[Image:Chris_CWC_angry_Pistol.jpg|thumb|The pistol in "[[CWC is Angry]]", next to what appears to be the [[Fapcup]]]]<br />
<br />
Since Chris is fascinated by the [[Transformers]], his primary frame of reference for firearms is '''Megatron''', the evil Decepticon rival of the heroic Autobot [[Optimus Prime]]. In his original 1980s incarnation, Megatron transformed (somewhat controversially) into a [[Wikipedia:Walther P38|Walther P38]] pistol which is coincidentally the preferred sidearm of Nazi Germany in World War Two. Chris owns a Megatron pistol, and is not afraid to let his enemies know it.<br />
<br />
==The gun==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Mp5-Megatron.PNG|thumb|A proper use of gov'ment money]]<br />
<br />
The version of the toy that Chris owns is the original "generation one" mold used in the 1980s, although it's probably a reissue sold during the 2000s. Since modern US toy regulations forbid toys that look like guns, it's relatively cost-prohibitive to obtain a Megatron. Moreover, Chris's has a mechanism for firing small plastic pellets, which has never been available domestically. All of this indicates that Chris obtained his "piece" from an American website specializing in importing exclusive Japanese Transformers. He certainly would have had to pay well over $100USD for it--money coming directly out of his [[monthly tugboat]]. Knowing Chris and his idea of cleanliness, the toy is probably worthless now. <br />
<br />
One of the reasons they don't sell Megatrons that turn into pistols anymore is out of public concerns that children brandishing toy guns could unwittingly provoke the [[Jerkops|police]], forcing them to err on the side of caution and defend themselves with lethal force. Given his recent run-ins with the [[law]], this sounds like exactly the sort of thing Chris might actually do. If you see him with the pistol in public, promptly kick him in the [[duck]] and alert the authorities that an autistic manchild is wandering around with a pistol that turns into a robot.<br />
<br />
==Use in real life==<br />
<br />
After losing the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] contest, Chris took out his frustration on contest winner [[Adam Stackhouse]] by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]] wherein he sets up a photo of Stackhouse and shoots at it with Megatron.<br />
<br />
The pistol has also appeared in the [[War Paint Video]], in which Chris insists that he's a [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]]--apparently referring to the sort of Cherokees who carry Japanese toys of Cybertronian robots disguised as German weapons.<br />
<br />
The pistol recently appeared in the [[DivineTrial|Divine Trial video]] and was used to execute Clyde Cash.<br />
<br />
==Use in the comics==<br />
<br />
{{Quote|I know, but you shot him with a real gun in the comic. Like—like… he was my boyfriend, and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him a little? That's just weird. I just—I mean, like, I was expecting, like, you know, like, a magical fight, not like… you shooting him.|[[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|voicing some discomfort]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|The pistol in ''Sonichu Special 4'']]<br />
<br />
[[Sonichu Special 4]] saw the first hand-drawn appearance of Chris's Megatron pistol. In an attempt to rescue Kacey from her [[Liquid|own boyfriend]], Chris drives as fast as he legally can to their house and enters uninvited. Liquid, fearing a home invasion, charges Chris with a knife. Chris sidesteps this attack and then goes on to disarm Liquid, throw him to the ground, and shoot him in both shins, permanently crippling him. Although Chris clearly understands his toy is not a real gun, he is compelled to draw real guns to look exactly like Megatron, just as every big rig he draws has to be a red cab-over, even if it's running over his [[Sarah Jackson|gal-pal]].<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Megatron (Transformers)|Megatron]] at [[Wikipedia]]<br />
<br />
{{Relics of Fail}}<br />
{{Not_Jerks}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]<br />
[[Category:Transformers]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey_and_Liquid_Call&diff=126776Kacey and Liquid Call2010-11-24T03:38:47Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]<br />
<br />
On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
A follow up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4]], and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point Solid loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. <br />
<br />
[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt. <br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====<br />
<br />
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.<br />
<br />
===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====<br />
<br />
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.<br />
<br />
===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====<br />
<br />
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing Pokémon with children counts as volunteer work.<br />
<br />
====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====<br />
<br />
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]] and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.<br />
<br />
====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====<br />
<br />
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.<br />
<br />
====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====<br />
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].<br />
<br />
===="Stop Being Crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====<br />
<br />
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.<br />
<br />
====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====<br />
<br />
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You- you- you ''shot'' Chris!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g- so he wouldn’t co- so he wouldn't chase after us.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's- that's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... okay. Well... I'm sorry.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, he came after me- well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Bu- but- but ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to- to kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it- I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well... I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa- I- I don't... Would you rather have- I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just... shooting him in the ''legs''?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, I- I’d rather you-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Or-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody... in a ''comic'' before!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more... I don't know... more real- ''realistic'' in... ''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' -y’know-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -you would shoot him in real life.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, in se- in self-''defense''! Mmm. I mean, yeah, my- in that- in- y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... in real life, I ''would'' appre- I would, uh, try- I would, uh-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, I don’t- I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based of- based off the, uh- based off... Generation 1 Megatron.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing… shooting him... on- on... Transformers? What?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh... no. Y’see, I have the- I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like- like... he was my boyfriend, and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just- I mean, like- I was expecting, like- you know, like, a magical fight, not like... you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want- you wanted me to... cute it up a little- cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I... didn't really want- I just didn’t really feel like, uh... cute- that cute- that, uh- that...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be... like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like... the ''Sonichu''... comic. But, I mean, you- you shot him.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only- I mean, I can- I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''long pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can... get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe- yeah, may- yeah, I can make it less viol- ''violent''. Okay?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but- yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Um... okay, well, I'm sorry for- I did not mean for it to-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But Chris: that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're- you’re calling... ''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I- yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''long pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him... there... in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then, you ''leave'' him! Like, uh- like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmm. No, actually, I would have called 911 on him. Y’know… bring the police and the ambulance around.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay... and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 911 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! ’Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And- and then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean- and especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''long pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can- I can- I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh... it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can- I can... undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It- it’s- I have no words to describe it. I mean... [''exhales angrily''] like... th- you did this... after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I- what's gonna happen if, like... somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... nobody ''has''- nobody ''else'' has to see it.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... my- in my defense, uh... ''he'' was crazy, too.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though... ''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -I mean-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' -see, I-I-I- okay. Well, I ''have'' d- I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I- I-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[long pause]<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You- you've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously... you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou- um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It’s like... okay-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You complained-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' -it’s like, over-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''... you're gonna do five miles.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -have you- have you- did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I jog-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' -doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged... ''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said you j- you just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''... alright?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis- I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [speaking rapidly] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I do.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[pause]<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And I do.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you- you show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And- and- and- and... I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I- okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And... I cannot undo it, but... okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It- it's too late. You- I mean, it's ''done''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, we're- well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You’re right...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Besides''- and ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I- uh, before I- I later found out that that... quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But- but- but ''still'', the- but still-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's not the point!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' -I created the whole new level of-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept... ''bitching'' at you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I did... [''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually...''&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I had- I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in- instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, ba- [''stress sighs''] Well, I m- I mis-''worded'' that. I meant- I m- I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic". Okay?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No...I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''starts tarding out''] NO, I WAS- NO, I WAS- NO, I HAD- I HAD IT... [''calms back down''] already- I had it ''started'', after I had- I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I- and I had it almost done. I just- just needed to color in the f- final pages today. And I did that! And-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking... raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I... [''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like what?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''have'' done-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli- I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work- so, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it- actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[pause]<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about... fucking... Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There's more- I mean, y’know, c’mon- there's more to it than... ''that''. There's the, uh... ''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And definitely- and definitely did the volunteer work at the- for the Pokémon Trading Card Game League.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' Pokémon? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, well... yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like ''candy'' striping, helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''- uh, the- Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''long pause'']<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris because you totally opened my eyes.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Don't say that...don't say that, that just makes me...that just makes me feel bad...I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay you finally made the comic but then you oh my GOD. I mean you were so nasty to my family, you just you don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE I CRIED I DID CRY.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' NO THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously, that is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Those were real tears.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris cause you're jealous of Chris.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No no no no that's not it.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND, I mean that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something, You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT and then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him, what am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now, what are you thinking about when you think of me?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I think about like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much. &lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And how you care about me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said a friend, that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I care about you very much.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I worry about you-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well I care about your safety and well being and if someone shot you I would care about you and feel sad...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' In my defense-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off, come on.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just, UGH.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I...when I think about you I think about like the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life who's been nothing but helpful to me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time and Kim's one of my best friends now.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[dramatic pause]<br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because I'm not...sometimes I'm not sure what to say. And-&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good...Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm most of...I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie it's a little lie.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No there's no such thing as little lies, all of them are big lies, especially...me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them, stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie some of the time.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I mean you, come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me all you did was stare at my chest and insult me, I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the on the other hand you were staring at me the whole time.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No no, I- [''Liquid interrupts'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hm, lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hm.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?...Yeah-&lt;/font> <br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey wait a minute, ugh, is what I think it is?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No it's not MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Wait wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as Ian Brandon Anderson!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid...shut your mouth! You are, you are, you are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because I mean you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my, you saw my driver's license!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your, yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' NO! NO!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just, you're the copycat!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my, my moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you, no! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you can't even, no...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're friends again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah. And not to mention that he is fat and ugly.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''BOOM! TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT A FAT GODDAMMIT!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less, I weigh a lot less than that, you, you weak little son of a bitch!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300... [''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like you would know...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and, and calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What the hell have you got, have you had against me that, what the hell have you had against me that was like, that came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't, I have the copyright, I have the copyright and you do not.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, yes, oh yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this, all this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have, why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my, my, has been my God-given name my entire life!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''No it's- it's not! [unintelligible]&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that, it's direct from the government.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine, Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah I have! I went there for four, for four damn years!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You, but you, you stand right next...you stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the, was the, one of the teachers over at Manchester High School...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him and he would say I am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that you are the fake!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That's it, no, she will point at you and say, "Oh, yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That, this, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That, thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get, but he, he just came in and...came against me...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break, oh, gimme a break, you have been lying this whole time...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP! You've been nothing but a pain in my, pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to, relationship between me and Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, yeah, no, you would not even, you wouldn't have access to her if it, if it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN COPYING ME!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has, not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud, I am so sick of you putting me, of you, calling me all that, when you know and I know and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No! No!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me, all you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously Chris does.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You know I love you baby, yeah, yeah, you come to who loves you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, uh, okay, well, I'm sorry...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME, MY NAME IS, NO, NO, NO!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, I already know, I have found out who you are.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are na-, you are naïve! And if I ever found you I would say it straight to your face!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just, just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go, look it up...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' If I knew where, if I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there, I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the, you are not Christian Weston, you are not me! You are not...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yes he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am! Yes I am! I have been the entire time!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you are not!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And, not only that...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD! Go ahead and take it to the police.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I will.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to, you're trying to get off on my...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them. &lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's...I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the internets.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come, I invite you to, write this down. 14 Branchland Court...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that is, that is my address. You, you, you have never even been...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're just...you already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me so you are...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know, are you tracking him, are you stalking him?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am there right now!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you are not, 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You are not, you are, you are not in that address!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C., it's right here! Where I'm standing!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, I am not interested, how many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia for a very long time now!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, okay, hold it, stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now, you've been ignoring me the whole time and now you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah...no, you listen, you listen, you listen, hey, you listen to me!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where he lives, not me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh, I am telling you right now, I am, I am telling you, this, this accusation of, of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that, it is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I, it just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME, I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER! When are you going to...I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is, yes it is!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It is not!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes it is! And that is where, exactly where we were making passionate love.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you...you, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey...yeah, okay...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him, not you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out''] ...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it, you know it, you know that I'm true, please, believe, please Kacey, don't do, don't do this...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before too. Not anything like grandma dying. Just saying.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy, okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are, you have always just been this naïve, because that's all, that's all you've ever been, just a...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family, I mean, my family hates you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Just shut up.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay, well, you can have, okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah, shut up! Yeah!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but you, but you, but I say, you know, but you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler, I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!&lt;/font> <br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.''] ...original copyright on the Sonichu!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you do not!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you, no you are not! You are not! I am, I am, you are not! I am!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are not, you're just a nobody!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're, you're just a, you're, no, you're the, no, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers, until you prove it you have nothing.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, geh, no, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you are!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not, you know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am, I am!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I draw, I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He, he, but he does not have the same drawing style I's drew, I do, I showed you my, it was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it to. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because he has...he's only prete-, he's only pretending that, he's stealing me, he's stealing all that, he's just copying.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I, no I do care about you, Kacey!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't, stop the charade, we already know you're a liar Mr. Ian Brandon...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler, thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU KACEY! GOD!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the internet!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''Breaking down''] I have been honest and true.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You have not!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Well, good...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off, he's still calling me that, God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second. [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What the...well, what's going on? You there?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Who is this?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Who is this?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Kacey.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just, just lis-, just, that's my father, Robert Chandler...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him, he can't hear me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What? What do you want?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right now I just want him to, there, to talk to the, tell that Chris off!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight, what in the world do you want?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either, she can't talk, or cat's got her tongue.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk... [''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like one minute I'm talking to someone and the next minute I'm not.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Hold it right there, you don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was, I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their-they might be lying to you!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' That's your fault!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt, that's what I thought.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just, yeah, I knew you would, this entire time.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP! Talk to you later Kacey, I love you, I do love you...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me, are you with me or are you with him?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby, are you with me, are we gonna get married?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you, why would he pretend to be you?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's prete-, he's pretend, he's been a liar the whole time, you know it...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You, you are just a less worthy version of me!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I sh-, I sh-, I showed you the certificate and the diploma!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this, you're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not the liar!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here, your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do, what do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just don't, I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television, all that, seems a lot more important to me, so I get it, don't worry, I get it.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you are important!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I get it, apparently I'm not!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was trying to pro-, I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch, you didn't even defend me! You were just like, talk to her, talk to her, what was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to...that's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You gotta, you gotta tell me, are you officially broken up with him?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now, listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later, and as for you Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR! Good night. [''Hangs up'']&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Baby...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!". I can't believe...oh my god Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD...That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yup...yup...yup&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]] [giggles]&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>[''tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call|Final]]}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
<br />
*Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the call]<br />
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&amp;feature=channel the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Giant_Penis_Comic&diff=126775Giant Penis Comic2010-11-24T03:38:38Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{honest}}<br />
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. It is notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[penis]].<br />
<br />
==Story==<br />
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]<br />
<br />
Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "strong, capable hands," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)<br />
<br />
We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (confirming that we are indeed in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[dirty crapped briefs|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.<br />
<br />
Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which turns out to be ''gigantic'', as in a HUGE third leg. This depiction of his penis looks to be life-size, as if Chris studied and traced it and was told to give special attention to its crookedness. [[Anime]] speed lines seem to whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum, still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also the head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.<br />
<br />
The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into some unnamed fursona (perhaps "Ivyla Rosechu"). The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.<br />
<br />
The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic kid?<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the fantastic dinner and dessert planned<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|Air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[dick]] even in his comics. <br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Jaunty banter, after-sex banter. <br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sonichu]]<br />
[[Category:Comic]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=100_2281&diff=126774100 22812010-11-24T03:38:36Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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'''100 2281''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 15 [[October 2010]]. In it, he shows us how he acts drunk, guzzling down [[alcohol|Kahlúa]] with great abandon and dressing up and speaking like a [[niggo|"gangsta"]]. <br />
<br />
Note that this video takes place in Chris's kitchen, and visible in the background is the Christmas Tree seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House]] in early 2009.<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = 100 2281<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kVDVz4Zp9-U}}<br />
| stardate = 15 [[October 2010]]<br />
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}<br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]<br />
| previous = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|I put on my Wizard's&lt;br/>cloak and magic hat]]<br />
| next = [[Pregnant Act]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a [[Adam Stackhouse|colorful bandana]] wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a [[niggo]], and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']<br />
<br />
Hey, yo, [[Lars]] m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the [[trolls]] been using. You calling me a god-dang [[homos|yomosettsual]], I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the [[china|pussy]].<br />
<br />
[''He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.'']<br />
<br />
And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [''He waves the bottle towards the camera.''] You [[Son-Chu|drivin']]! You jivin'! <br />
<br />
I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[''brief pause'']...go put your boats over [[Jackie]] like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [''Gives two thumbs down.''] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, [[Patti-Chan|dawg]]. <br />
<br />
[''Chris pauses again.'']<br />
<br />
You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!<br />
<br />
[''He reaches up and turns off the camera.'']<br />
<br />
===Translation===<br />
<br />
Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this acacia coffee you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to acacia milk, well that's just false. You cared more about your boats than you cared about Jackie. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir. <br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act]]}}<br />
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{{Cosplay videos}}<br />
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[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Barack_Obama&diff=126773Barack Obama2010-11-24T03:37:56Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Obama.jpg|thumb|right|Obama's favorite Rolling Stones song? "Paint It, Black."]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].|Chris on Obama, [[Rollin' and Trollin']]}}<br />
<br />
'''Barack Hussein Obama''' (born 1961) is the current President of the [[United States of America]]. Because he is [[African Americans|black]] (half black, anyway), [[Chris]], being the ''somewhat'' [[racist]], [[autistic]] manchild that he is, previously found him very detestable.<br />
<br />
He appears briefly in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] in episode 17, painting the White House black. There was a popular joke where he did so after winning the presidential office. Chris obviously took this joke way too seriously, even [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|believing it]] as an actual rumor about Obama.<br />
<br />
Chris, while initially disliking Obama, felt he and Obama were much a lot alike, in that they were both discriminated against, essentially equating [[Kick the Autistic]] with actual racial discrimination. Chris admitted that after watching the [[Wikipedia:A&amp;E Network|A&amp;E]] documentary on Obama and [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]], he decided to vote for Obama because he felt he had more in common with him. In other words, Chris had no interest in or understanding of any of the campaign issues or the candidates' opinions on them.<br />
<br />
Chris did a prearranged interview in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']] where he spoke about how he liked Obama and made no mention of painting the White House black.<br />
<br />
On New Year's Eve 2009, Chris claimed to have "snail-mailed" Barack Obama asking to make [[homo]] ads on the [[CWCipedia]] illegal, [[Chris and the Law|with involvement from the FBI and jail sentences]].&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu#THAT_DOES_NOT_MATTER&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==White House gag==<br />
[[Image:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's brilliant political satire in action. See, it's funny, because Bush is known to poke his political rivals with a broom.]]<br />
<br />
While still a U.S. Senator, Obama made a cameo appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], featured in one of the multitude of bizarre elevator gags seen as [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ascend to the top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. Inexplicably, the entire White House is contained on the 51st floor, where Obama is painting the exterior black. Below, Senator [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]] (R-AZ), who ran against Obama in the 2008 Presidential race, chides Obama for presuming to redecorate the White House before actually securing the election. Senator [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary Clinton]] (D-NY), who would later become Obama's Secretary of State, and McCain's running mate, then-Alaska Governor [[Wikipedia:Sarah Palin|Sarah Palin]], also look on with annoyance. This page was removed from CWC's site along with the comic pages featuring pornography; the pornographic pages were restored in the Luv Shack, but the Obama page remained removed.<br />
<br />
[[Image:barack_OBANA.png|thumb|left|Pretty much how Chris views politics.]]<br />
<br />
Curiously, Obama is wearing a [[Wikipedia:kufi|kufi]], which is a traditionally African hat. It is unknown whether Chris included it to emphasize Obama's [[Niggo|African American]] heritage, or if he believes that Obama is secretly a Muslim, in which case he would be wearing a [[Wikipedia:taqiyah (cap)|taqiyah]]. Either way, the fact that Chris included this bit of information betrays his obviously stereotypical view of the then-Senator Obama.<br />
<br />
From inside the White House, then-President [[George W. Bush]] (looking a lot like [[Giovanni]]) notices Obama's audacious paintjob, and takes matters into his own hands. Using a broom, he tips over Obama's ladder. The implied extent of Obama's injuries from the fall is left up to the imagination of the reader (and hopefully the Secret Service).<br />
<br />
In a rare instance of giving credit for other people's ideas, Chris acknowledges that his father, [[Bob Chandler]], inspired the gag. Whether this is Chris's feeble attempt to integrate his father into his comic, or a weak effort to shift the blame if anyone takes offense, is unclear. <br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[George W. Bush]]<br />
*[[Niggos]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
&lt;references /><br />
<br />
{{Not_Jerks}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Obama, Barack}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Story_of_My_Current_Days&diff=126772Story of My Current Days2010-11-24T03:37:52Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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'''"Story of My Current Days"''' is an account of [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] first written in his [[Animal Crossing]] diary&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Story_of_My_Love_Quest_Days&lt;/ref> in October [[2004]]. On 31 March [[2005]], Chris updated and renamed it to '''Story of My Love Quest Days'''. On 14 August [[2006]], he updated it again, changed the name back to "Story of My Current Days," and expanded it with additional material describing his relationships with [[Hanna]] and [[Megan Schroeder]].<br />
<br />
Chris announced on 22 [[October 2009]] that it is "To be MAJORLY UPDATED with most current events; NOT ALL OPINIONS expressed in the story are cannon to current opinions and views." Normally, "canon" only refers to the continuity of a work of fiction, and not to reality, but then, [[Chris and Reality|it's hard to sort those two out when you're dealing with Chris.]]<br />
<br />
==Story of my current days==<br />
<br />
&lt;blockquote><br />
&lt;hr><br />
<br />
Story of My Current Days<br />
<br />
By. Christian W. Chandler.<br />
<br />
October 18, [[2004]]<br />
<br />
Updated: August 14, [[2006]]<br />
<br />
[[Honor Roll|Four Score and over Three Years Ago]], I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], have been currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad Depression. This is due to the following conditions: <br />
<br />
# I am a [[virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]<br />
# I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].<br />
# I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some JERK (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]), which I've dubbed the fear, [[Noviophobia]], after the Spanish word for "Boyfriend." L<br />
<br />
Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician [[Jerk]], [[Wes Iseli]]. At first, I was [[Naïve|naive]] about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of [[2003]], I tried to pick up a girl in a class I was taking at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], but she told me right-off, that [[So Need a Cute Girl|SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND]]! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a [[BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl]], by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say Hi to any girl, so I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." I had the sign placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some Bullies (Men and Old Woman) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much [[comeuppance|saltier]] now. So that female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], tore up my sign; it [[heart level|SHATTERED my heart]]. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from PVCC, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]] of the [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the [[University of Virginia]] (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my [[Love Quest]] (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with [[So Need a Cute Girl|my own song lyric]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Tell me why, I'm stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage.&lt;br/><br />
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.&lt;br/><br />
Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say,&lt;br/><br />
"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND."}}<br />
<br />
As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!<br />
<br />
Since, October, [[2004]], I've learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of [[autism|mental condition]], or that I was seeking a girl, only for [[Hanky-Panky]]. Of which is [[Honest Content|not true at all]]; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an [[Attraction Location]]. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me.<br />
<br />
Also, I've learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was [[William Spicer|William]]). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.<br />
<br />
I've also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pacing back-and-forth]] while watching a GBAVideo on either my Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their religion. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing random songs from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, [[2005]] issue of [[NP magazine|Nintendo Power magazine]], but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.<br />
<br />
One day in March, [[2005]], I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my [[Sonichu Scrapbook]], and I've brought up some courage to start saying "Hello" to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free.<br />
<br />
Earlier this week, [[Hanna|a girl]], who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and my SHATTERED Heart had a speedy recovery back to 100% We had a nice "Mini-Date," I maintained Eye-Contact, I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. J But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of [[Gal-Pals]], that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% tact.<br />
<br />
Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58% I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!<br />
<br />
Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I'm feeling much, much luckier now!<br />
<br />
Mid-May, [[2006]], "I re-write this story from the inspiration I get from a very special someone who I've been Thinkin' About a sweet deal, and kept her close to my heart.<br />
<br />
After starting at Piedmont Virginia Community College in [[2000|Y2K]], I've lied a somewhat neutral, care-free life as I did my school work, play my video games, and anything creative I felt like doing. A bunch of times, I've played Sonic Booms with [[Sonic the Hedgehog|da hedgehog]], as well as my [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. My Mind was Freed Up, yet I didn't have many friends or acquaintances. During the Summer of Y2K3, I've made a few attempts to get a Girlfriend; sadly, EVERY GIRL I TALKED TO already had a... BOYFRIEND (LOUSY, LUCKY JERKS! TAKING ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS, LEAVING ME WITH NONE TO CHOOSE FROM)!<br />
<br />
Given that I So Needed a Cute Girl who was Boyfriend-Free, I didn't want just any B.F.-Free Girl, I wanted one who had a strong will, a sweet caring attitude and at least somewhat pretty; a real Super Girl. Some people said I was too picky, but that was only their opinions; not mine. I'm bound for a click similar to that between the Dark Magician and his Girl.<br />
<br />
So, as of August, Y2K3, I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made a simple sign that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a bunch of [[Jerkop|Non-Blue or Black impersonating JERKOPS]], [[Manajerk]]s and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&amp;*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a Sweetheart was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, [[Virginia is for Virgins|"VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!"]] was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the jerks of the [[Greene County School System]] during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.<br />
<br />
For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].<br />
<br />
Eventually, light a magical lighthouse that randomly shone its healing guiding light upon my previously Shattered Heart and tortured Soul, and mended them back to good shape and form, [[Megan Schroeder|one girl]] walked into my life, like a [[Sailor Megtune|Sailor Soldier]] having just vanquished a heart-snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed her shining lustrous hair, here shiny Blue Chaos Emerald-like Eyes, and a personality strong, caring and true like a Buttercup bloom. I followed my recovered heart's instincts and Followed Her. As I got to know her over the months to over a year, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for her. I blushed more Strawberry Pink than I have ever before; everything around me was shining like the sun's [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mellow Color]], Yellow. Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.<br />
<br />
Yet, one can't stay on such sweet passionate feelings without a few speed bumps in the road of life. Even though I didn't mean to give the impression that I was being forceful; for heaven's sake I wouldn't ever dare to force her to do anything she didn't want to, but she reminds me times that she isn't ready for Love beyond Friendship. I have no feelings against her wish, and I respect her decisions and feelings. Oh, but even though she Doesn't Say it, or return it, I Love Her, and no matter what, those feelings wills stand strong as time itself. And Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. I Won't Hang Up on what can develop into the True Thing, because I don't just Think, I know that I Love Her. My Love for her is So Pure and true, that not even Every One Love Song can spell it out as well as I am writing it now.<br />
<br />
Every once in a while, I take a look into my Mirror Mirror of life, check the things I've seen and heard of. I've seen the Jet City Women, and frankly I'm not thrilled. I can't help but feel sorry for them; True Love is Priceless and rarely street-found. [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] is fun to watch, because it's so stupid, it's funny, as well as some of the Non-Anime programs on Adult Swim; lucky there's a [[Family Guy]]. I'm happy that I am no longer in the Heart-Shattered, Tired Soul Times; I was often so depressed, I could have been a Sofa King. So many stupid Ways I Wanted; I don't have to care too much about those paths now, but back then, sometimes I Couldn't Sleep so bad, I could have Bounced Off the Ceiling. Reflecting on those past Things Makes Me Go Hmm...<br />
<br />
I always come to the conclusion that my future is solid now that my Me Plus One has a gelatinous conclusion. The Answer is the girl in the uniform that I've grown to Love.<br />
<br />
While I do have deep scarlet desires for the eventual Party For Two en [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|La Cocina en La Casa de Casa-No-Duh]] (basically the Kitchen in my House), I am in no rush for a kiss on Rainbow Road; I can wait for the longest time; except when it comes to my stomach or bladder or course. I am capable of showing her a good time with a nice dinner for two at a nice restaurant, taking her to a movie or even a moonlit (or sunlit) rendezvous at the park; most whatever her heart desires. As long as I am Together With Her, especially in all of the neutral social locations, I am happy. J<br />
<br />
The first time I see her smiling face on any day, it's like seeing the Morning Moon, shining with radiance. The only thing that keeps us limited to once a week is our respective Signals in the Sky. Each time I leave her, I hope I've left her with a smile and a warm feeling in her heart, as I do. It's In My Impressions, as well as what happens that day. No one can come close to her, because to me she is The Most Beautiful, and Caring Girl in the World.<br />
<br />
Good Night, Good Morrow, for now I walk from the End of our time together; I will always look forward to our next Staff Party For Two. Is the Love between us truly a Destiny or a Warp-Pipe Dream; Our Sailor Stars will guide us. In the meantime, I can enjoy the two of us E-Mailing to Each-Other's Hearts.<br />
<br />
&lt;center>There is no Fin; We're still Living."&lt;/center><br />
<br />
Yet, there was a Finish; she had a Boy-Crush in the Military; Seriously Killed that Romantic mood. So, now After August 3, 2006...it's been THREE LONG YEARS, and I still Do Not have a Sweetheart (or even a girlfriend to build up into one).<br />
<br />
So, given that Summer is almost finished, although I've graduated from PVCC, I will be hanging out at the University of Virginia's Alderman Library on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, hoping to be found by a Boyfriend-Free, 18-(my current age)-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl who would pick me among all others as the Unsold Special Fish in the lonely Sea of Life.<br />
<br />
I can also be found at The End game center and the Game &amp; Hobby Place on Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays (respectively) (look under Interests for times).<br />
<br />
&lt;center>Pretty Girl in the wait, please come find me for a soda and conversational date.&lt;/center><br />
<br />
&lt;hr><br />
&lt;/blockquote><br />
<br />
==Story of my Love Quest days==<br />
<br />
By. Christian W. Chandler.<br />
<br />
<br />
October 18, 2004<br />
<br />
<br />
Updated: March 31, 2005<br />
<br />
<br />
I, Christian Weston Chandler, am currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad Depression. This is due to the following conditions:<br />
<br />
<br />
1. I am a Frustrated Virgin<br />
2. I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, Boyfriend-Free Girl.<br />
3. I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some JERK (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.), which I’ve dubbed the fear, “Noviophobia,” after the Spanish word for… “Boyfriend.”<br />
<br />
<br />
Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, Sarah Hammer, a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician Jerk, Wes Iseli. At first, I was naïve about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of 2003, I tried to “pick up” a girl in a class I was taking at Piedmont Virginia Community College, but she told me right-off, that SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl, by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say “Hi” to any girl, so I made a simple sign that stated, “I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion.” I had the sign placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some “Bullies” (Male and Female) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much saltier now. So that female dog, Mary Lee Walsh, tore up my sign; it SHATTERED my heart. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from PVCC, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the JERKOPS of the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the University of Virginia (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my Love Quest (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with my own song lyric:<br />
<br />
<br />
“Tell me why, I’m stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage.<br />
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.<br />
Tell me why, I ain’t ever wanna hear you say,<br />
‘I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.’”<br />
<br />
<br />
As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!<br />
<br />
<br />
*As of October 18, 2004 to today, March 31, 2005*<br />
<br />
<br />
Since, October 18, I’ve learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of mental condition, or that I was seeking a girl, only for Hanky-Panky. Of which is not true at all; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an Attraction Location. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me. <br />
<br />
<br />
Also, I’ve learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was William). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.<br />
<br />
<br />
I’ve also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: pacing back-and-forth while watching a GBAVideo on either my Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their religion. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing random songs from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, 2005 issue of Nintendo Power magazine, but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.<br />
<br />
<br />
Now, we are brought to March 31, 2005: I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursday s, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my Sonichu Scrapbook, and I’ve brought up some courage to start saying “Hello” to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free. <br />
<br />
<br />
Earlier this week, a girl, who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and my SHATTERED Heart had a speedy recovery back to 100%! We had a nice “Mini-Date,” I maintained Eye-Contact, I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of Gal-Pals, that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% in tact.<br />
<br />
<br />
Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58%! I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I’m feeling much, much luckier now!<br />
<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Story_of_My_Love_Quest_Days}}<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==Links==<br />
<br />
*[http://archives.neohapsis.com/archives/fulldisclosure/2007-11/0104.html full text also available here]<br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Historical Documents]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Tobacky&diff=126771Tobacky2010-11-24T03:37:49Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|NO SMOKING and [[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]] - two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]]]]<br />
[[Image:Tobacco.jpg|thumb|left|A [[niggo]] harvests some tobacky.]]<br />
<br />
'''Tobacky''', also known as '''tobacco''', is an agricultural product that contains a powerful stimulant and is commonly smoked to deliver a smooth, easy taste, which people like [[Chris]] complain about, but a little-known fact is that it can also be snuffed (snorted like cocaine), or chewed and comically spat in nostalgic '70s/'80s baseball movies. <br />
<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] hates tobacky almost as much as he hates [[homos]]. If he could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to the [[The Moon|''motherfucking moon'']].<br />
<br />
One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that his TRUE sweetheart be "smoke-free", or rather a non-smoker like himself. Strangely, despite being a ''[[Family Guy]]'' fan, he fails to understand Lois Griffin's sage wisdom: "If she smokes, she [[hanky panky|pokes]]."<br />
<br />
However, he would probably just [[Chris's Big Night Out|throw his morals out]] if a sexy [[galpal]] offered him a smoke. <br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Chris on tobacky==<br />
In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]], Chris said: <br />
{{quote|He [Chris] also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky" (said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}<br />
<br />
In his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|Q&amp;A video]], Chris stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years or fifteen hundred dollar fine." In short, importing cigarettes is apparently worse than rape, theft, murder, or even being a homo in CWCville.<br />
<br />
In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from 02 [[January 2009]], Chris explains why the moon and not the sun:<br />
{{quote|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well.|Chris, IRC, 02 Jan 2009, 12:17}}<br />
<br />
==Chris and Marijuana==<br />
Chris seems to have an even stronger hatred for Cannabis, despite it being hailed as an [http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-treatment-marijuana-madness-8763721 Autism treatment], he still holds on to the idea that it is even worse than tobacky because in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a $1,500 fine, but even those who simply possess weed are sentenced to [[Book10Replacement|Maximum Security Prison]], where they usually end up cellmates with [[Mary Lee Walsh|terrorist leaders]].<br />
<br />
== So, did he stay committed to never smoking the stuff? ==<br />
[[Wigwam|Nope]], looks like Chris [[Dreams#The acid factory dream|failed to heed godbear's warning]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Alcohol]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Emily&diff=126770Emily2010-11-24T03:37:47Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|70px|The only known image of Emily, shot from behind.]]<br />
<br />
'''Emily''' is [[Chris]]'s onetime [[sweetheart]] with whom he went on a date. The date memorably ended in disaster when he was trolled IRL by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]; literally.<br />
<br />
==Agent 99==<br />
<br />
Emily's identity is zealously guarded by her friends, but needless to say, we can tell you she's female and has great legs. Some argue she's Asian, but those people are probably [[slow in the minds]].<br />
<br />
==Chris's first date==<br />
<br />
In [[2009#March|March 2009]], shortly after [[Julie]] turned out to be a 13 year old boy, Chris vowed that he would return to his real life exploits of stalking women in public places in order to gain his [[sweetheart]]. Emily, a journalism student and head of the [[Sonichu Girls]] Fan Club chapter at West Virginia University (and totally not a troll), decided to take Chris up on his offer and asked if he'd liked to go out to lunch sometime. <br />
<br />
Chris actually stood up Emily the first time because he was so [[stress|stressed]] from his parents arguing over whether she was real or not. [[Bob]] believed that Emily was sincere and truly wanted to meet Chris while [[Barb]] was more suspicious. Chris's small mind could not handle two simultaneous arguments and so he crashed into slumber. Emily was pissed off about this and demanded that Chris reschedule. Chris agreed and a new date was set.<br />
<br />
When Chris finally did meet up for the date, he brought his 81-year-old father, Bob Chandler along. Yes, he brought his dad on his first date. [[prom|At least it wasn't his mother]], though. <br />
<br />
===Kiss fail===<br />
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|For reference, this is Chris in his kissing stance.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Well, when I was going to ditch him for the man in the picklesuit, Chris had his arm extended like he wanted a hug. So I was like, "sure, whatever" and was just going to give him a half assed hug. Lord, what a dumb move. I'm a small girl, so I have narrow shoulders. His large fucking arm basically weighed down around my neck over my shoulder and tightening, and what I could see in the corner of my eye was Chris puckering his lips and his face moving closer to mine. I did a [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|duck and turn]] to avoid it. If I seriously turned my head to get a better look, he may have well have gotten my lips. I wonder if that was what Chris was going for; the surprise kiss on the lips when the girl turns her head. Too bad that only works in [[anime]] and movies. [[Liquid Chris|Or really suave guys]].|The victim}}<br />
<br />
===Video fail===<br />
<br />
This short clip contains the only footage that exists.<br />
&lt;center>{{#ev:youtube|cl2LUzQYQMM}}&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Date conversation transcript==<br />
<br />
''See [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]].''<br />
<br />
==Post-date conversation transcript==<br />
<br />
&lt;font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Sorry.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' What's up?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I think we need to talk.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Okay.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Becau—it's not me, Chris. It's you. And, you know, I was just thinking about yesterday. I really didn't appreciate you, like, [[Megan|touching]] me all the time.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I di-I didn't appreciate you, like, constantly touching me, okay? You'd, like, just met me, and you were touching me constantly.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh. I'm sorry.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' [''interrupting''] I mean, you should never do that to a woman on, like, you know, one that you just met. And especially when you try, like... You tried to kiss me, okay? That's not right at all.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I'm so sorry, I was a little nervous. I was nervous, a little bit.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Why would you try to kiss somebody when--if you're nervous? I mean, I thought, like, people would be nervous and ''not'' try to kiss somebody.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I don't–&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' But anyways. Let me tell you about--&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Anyway.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You'll probably ne--you'll probably never hear from me again, Chris, because the Pickle Man was just--he was a perfect gentleman, okay? He, like, took me out on a date and paid for my movie, and, like, since he kept his hands off of me, he got, like, a little extra ''extra'' from me, and that could have been you, Chris. Okay? So--and then he took me to meet Clyde, and Clyde's, like, a perfect gentleman as well. So I'm going to be living in his mansion from now on.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hmm. Anyway, did you get back to West Virginia okay?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah. Well, I didn't exactly go back to West Virginia; I'm going to be living with Clyde now, with, uh, with [[Julie]] and [[Blanca]] and [[Sarah]] and everyone else, Chris. Do you understand?&lt;/font> <br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I see.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Like, like, since... You don't understand, like, all the women that you've mistreated in the past, they're living with Clyde because he is rehabilitating them.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hmm. I see... [''pause''] Well, I don't know what to say.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' So, do you have anything else to say?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Umm. Well, this is the, uh... Well, uh, all I can say is, uh, I’m sorry about if you feel—if you feel—if I--that if I mistreated you, and, uh, somewhat, if you—if you felt like I, uh, did wrong.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Because I don't know why-why you have, like against, like, these men in the… pickle suits or whatever. Because he was just a guy in a pickle suit. I don’t understand, like, what was so, like, threatening about him. And apparently you, like, called the cops on him? I mean, what did he do wrong? How you gotta report him? Saying that, like, a guy in a pickle suit's, like, stole your date.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I think in the past, uh, there, uh, yeah, guy in the pickle suit posed as, uh, Blanca.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' But I mean--&lt;/font> <br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' And, uh...&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' You, like, didn’t know this guy, and you’re already passing judgment on him, and you’re already, like… You passed judgment on thi—on Clyde, okay? Clyde’s like, the nicest guy ever, okay? He is, like… He is gonna be, like, taking care of me for the rest of the li—rest of my life. ‘Cause he is loaded with cash.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hmm.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Hence why his last name is Cash.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I see. Well, anyway, uh, if that’s what you want, uh, I can’t, uh, force you or anyth—or anything else. So, uh--&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' But, Chris, you should be careful [''Chris overlapping, indistinct'']. But you should be careful, Chris, on, like, all the women that you encounter, you better make sure that you treat them properly, do not touch them on the first date; don’t try to fucking kiss them, and, you know, you’ll have no problems, but if you do, you know, the pickle men will come and take them away, and take them to Clyde, and he is gonna take care of them for the rest of their lives as well.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' I see. All right. Okay. All right, well, you—you take care of yourself.&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hey why don't you take care of yourself too, Chris, okay?&lt;/font><br />
&lt;br>&lt;font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.&lt;/font><br />
<br />
''For the second part of this audio which is unrelated to Emily, see [[Hooker_incident|The Hooker Incident]].''<br />
<br />
==Hindsight==<br />
Chris no longer considers this a date. When speaking with others about it, he claims it was nothing more than meeting a fan, and even less of a date because he got trolled.<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations]<br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Layla&diff=126769Layla2010-11-24T03:37:41Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:Layla.jpg|thumb|right|Concept art of Layla, as drawn by [[Ivy]].]]<br />
[[Image:180Flaaffy.png|thumb|right|An actual Flaaffy.]]<br />
{{quote|Layla is sheepish; kind of shy, yet energetic, sweet and such|[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[women's rights]] activist and incredibly lame punster}}<br />
{{quote|Yo Layla! Punchy's in and he's checking you out, girl.<br />
Come on, let's go hit the bed!|[[Chris]], singing about sheep/hedgehog sex}}<br />
<br />
'''Layla Flaaffy''' is a character in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. She was first shown along with [[Ivy]], in a drawing of her that was leaked out on the Krapple Komputer Kompany [[/cwc/]] board. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] she is introduced as an eighteen-year-old [[Pokémon|Flaaffy]], who was thought up by Ivy on 15 [[2009#March|March 2009]].<br />
<br />
She does not resemble the Pokémon Flaaffy in the slightest bit. It's not clear if this is because Ivy didn't care whether or not she did, or if it's because Chris decided she was a Flaaffy at a later date as a means of justifying her presence in the comic.<br />
<br />
When Ivy originally created the character, she was named "Luckett", but, according to Ivy, this was changed because Chris thought it was "too French." As Luckett was something of a parallel to [[Sonichu]] (Ivy's "original" character that is just a Pokémon with other attributes stapled on), this is tantamount to Sonichu being reimagined as an [[JK Productions|anteater named Reginald]].<br />
<br />
After the "death" of Ivy, Layla's fate remains unknown. It is likely that she will suffer the same fate as [[Jiggliami]] did when [[Blanca]] "broke up" with Chris: [[Time Void|complete and utter oblivion]].<br />
<br />
==Personality==<br />
<br />
While nothing Chris makes is original or interesting, Layla seems to be the most stereotypical. Apparently, [[Women's rights|having women do all of cooking, cleaning and working]] gets old after awhile, as Chris designed Layla in a very [[Pedofork|jailbait]] manner. This is partly due to Ivy designing her to be sexually appealing to Chris-chan, so he would be more inclined to use her in his comics. The fact that she looks extremely underage is awfully telling. Her hobbies include showing cleavage, creepy innuendo, and, like, [[Julie|chatting with hot guys online]]. Layla is thus one of the most outright irritating characters, only slightly less aggravating than [[Magi-Chan]] or the [[Sonee and Rosey|Sonichu Babies]].<br />
<br />
==Romance==<br />
Implementing the world's oldest stereotype, Layla is lusted after by the [[Reginald Sneasel|series' biggest douchebag]] not named Chris. In an attempt to create some sort of conflict in the pages of making out, she falls for the azn, [[Punchy]]. But of course, everyone ends up paired up and engages in soulless furry sex.<br />
<br />
==Fetish==<br />
In his song "[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]", Chris reveals Layla's fetish for [[Wikipedia:sadomasochism|sadomasochism]] in the final lines of the song. Because Chris has only given few details about this, his fans have been forced to interpret these lines as either references to sadomasochism or [[Women's rights|domestic violence]].<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center><br />
&lt;gallery><br />
Image:Ivy.png|Image of Ivy and Luckett, posted on 21 [[March 2009]] on Krapple Komputer Kompany [[/cwc/]] board.<br />
Image:SchuComic10P7.jpg|Introduction of [[Layla]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<br />
Image:Camwhorelayla.JPG|Very intelligent, nuanced character.<br />
Image:CamwhoreLaylacolor.jpg| Her mind is blank<br />
Image:Laylablow.jpg|This is what Layla actually believes.<br />
&lt;/gallery><br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
* [[Ivy]]<br />
{{Hedgehog Boys}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Valentines_Day_Hymn&diff=126768Valentines Day Hymn2010-11-24T03:37:41Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:453-ValentineHymnCollage.JPG|thumb|right|Behold the V-Day Collage of Fail!]]<br />
<br />
'''Valentines Day Hymn''' is one of [[Chris]]'s earliest shitty poems. He wrote it on Valentine's Day [[2000]] for his "Pokésite 2". He obviously didn't pay much attention in English, or he'd know that a "hymn" is a song with religious context.<br />
<br />
==Text==<br />
<br />
&lt;poem><br />
'''Valentines Day Hymn.'''<br />
<br />
2/14/2000<br />
<br />
On the day of love and romance,<br />
Hearts and cupids fly around.<br />
The arrow of cupid hits a man,<br />
And that man falls head over heels for a pretty gal.<br />
Cards and candy go hand-to-hand,<br />
Expressing the thoughts of love put in the poem.<br />
Kisses are shared and fireworks are blown,<br />
The only way that could happen is if they kissed on the 4th of July.<br />
On a [[Dating|date]], the man could not pay the bill,<br />
So his date slammed her door in his face.<br />
Red and Pink are the hearty colors,<br />
Because that's how the hearts were originally drawn.<br />
The man's coat over a puddle,<br />
The maiden walks,<br />
Then the man trips and pays the laundry bill.<br />
Under the moonlight,<br />
The couples of the world kiss,<br />
But unfortunately for few,<br />
They are [[Bob walks in|interrupted by their parents]].<br />
Night is right for love,<br />
Except for the werewolf...<br />
Whoops!<br />
[[Random Access Humor|Wrong holiday]].<br />
Happy Valentines Day to all lovers!<br />
The cupids did a pretty good job,<br />
Didn't they?<br />
&lt;/poem><br />
<br />
==Analysis==<br />
<br />
Chris tried his hand at free-verse with this poem. While some may see this as a bold, modern approach to poem writing, it is more likely that Chris was just too lazy to adhere to any sort of rhyming pattern or meter, instead writing down whatever the hell came out of his head without having to deal with the [[Stress|stress]] of a rigid pattern. <br />
<br />
The poem seems to be about a [[Chris|clumsy, broke man]] and his lousy date (note the [[Women's Rights|misogynistic]] implication that the girl is shallow and only cares about money), but Chris deems it necessary to break up this story with some barely relevant thoughts on love and Valentines Day, making the poem even harder to read than it needs to be. The poem also does a great job in showing Chris's ignorance. He seems to believe that fireworks are only used on Valentines day and the Fourth of July, he has no idea what the term "hearty" means, and that apparently he thinks a woman would do her laundry on a date with a man. Chris wraps up this steaming pile of failure with a sprinkle of [[Random Access Humor|random access humor]] to ruin any sort of beauty that he lazily tries to create.<br />
<br />
==Spanish version==<br />
Chris wrote an alternate version for the Spanish version of the PokeSite, later put up on the [[CWCipedia]].&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
With very minor exceptions (such as the last line, which literally translates to "Yes?" as opposed to "Didn't they"?), Chris opts for the literal school of translation, opting to translate word for word without regard to the original rhythm of the poem. Some English professors might argue that this is a sort of [[fail]].<br />
<br />
===Chris's translation===<br />
&lt;poem><br />
En el díy de amor y romance, <br />
Corazónes y cupids volan alrededor. <br />
La flecha de cupid choca un hombre, <br />
Y esto hombre está enamorado por la señora bonita. <br />
Tarjetas de amor y cande son juntos bien,<br />
Expresan los pensamientos de amor en la poema. <br />
Los Besos son partes y los fuegos artificales explotan, <br />
Puede ocurrir solomente si ellos besan en el 4 de Julio. <br />
En una cita, el hombre no puede pagar la cuenta, <br />
Tan su novia cerra su puerta en su cara. <br />
Rojo y Rosado son los colores del día de St. Valentin, <br />
Porqué son los colores originales de los corazónes. <br />
El abrigo del hombre cubre un charco, <br />
La doncella camina, <br />
Que el hombre baja y paga la cuenta para la ropa lavada. <br />
En el luz de la luna, Las parejas del mundo besan, <br />
Pero para menos, Tienen in interrupción desde sus padres. <br />
La noche es bueno para amor, <br />
Excepto el werewolf... <br />
¡Hoy! <br />
Falsa fiesta. <br />
Feliz día de St. Valentin para todos están enamoros! <br />
Los cupids hacen un trabajo bueno, <br />
Sí? <br />
&lt;/poem><br />
<br />
===A correct translation===<br />
<br />
&lt;poem><br />
En el día del amor y del romance,<br />
Vuelan corazones y cupidos.<br />
La flecha de Cupido le da a un hombre,<br />
Y éste se enamora perdidamente de una chica bonita.<br />
Se pasan de mano a mano cartas y dulces<br />
Que expresan los sentimientos de amor en el poema.<br />
Se comparten besos y se estallan fuegos artificiales;<br />
Esto sólo paasaría si se besaran el cuatro de julio.<br />
Durante una cita, el hombre no pudo pagar la cuenta,<br />
Por lo que la muchacha le cerró la puerta en la cara.<br />
El rojo y el rosa son los colores del corazón<br />
Porque así se dibujaron en un principio.<br />
El saco del hombre sobre un charco,<br />
Camina la doncella;<br />
Luego, el hombre se tropieza y le paga al lavandero.<br />
Bajo la luz de la luna<br />
Se besan las parejas del mundo,<br />
Pero, mal que le pese a algunos,<br />
Los interrumpen sus padres.<br />
La noche es adecuada para el amor,<br />
Menos para el hombre lobo...<br />
¡Uy!<br />
Fiesta equivocada.<br />
¡Feliz día de San Valentín a todos los enamorados!<br />
Qué buen trabajo hicieron los cupidos,<br />
¿No?<br />
&lt;/poem><br />
<br />
==Chris's Spanish version literally translated back to English==<br />
<br />
&lt;poem><br />
In day of Romance love and, <br />
Hearts and cupids high around. <br />
The arrow of cupid hits a man, <br />
and this man is enamoured by the pretty lady. <br />
Cards of together love and good locks are,<br />
Express the thoughts of love in the poem. <br />
The Kisses are parts and the artificial fires explode, <br />
Can happen single if they kiss on the 4th of July. <br />
In an appointment, the man cannot pay the account, <br />
So his fiancèe slamming his door in his face. <br />
Red and Pink they are the colours of the day of St. Valentin, <br />
Because they are the original colours of the hearts. <br />
The shelter of the man covers a pool, <br />
doncella walks, <br />
That the low man and pays the account for the washed clothes. <br />
On the light of the moon, the pairs of the world kiss, <br />
But for less, They have in interruption from its parents. <br />
The night is good for love, <br />
Except werewolf… <br />
Today! <br />
False celebration. <br />
Happy day of St. Valentin for all is enamoros! <br />
Cupids makes a work good, <br />
Yes?<br />
&lt;/poem><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Dramatic Reading<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1rN7PtUMMYg}}<br />
| Stardate = 28 May 2010<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = The second poem read, along with [[Hard Love Quest]] and [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]. <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Poetry]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=How_the_Pok%C3%A9mon_Came_into_Our_Pok%C3%A9Balls&diff=126767How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls2010-11-24T03:37:30Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|Cover page of the original assignment. Note the English class.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Others say that they originated from the depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the <br />
true story..|''How the [[Pokémon]] Came into Our Poké Balls'', Tablet 1, Fragment 1; author unknown, but typically attributed to "High Shaman Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded"}}<br />
<br />
'''"How the Pokémon came into Our PokéBalls"''' is a short story by [[Christian]] done in his ''senior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].'' In it, he attempts to establish some form of creation-myth for the [[Pokémon]] universe. Coincidentally, there is an [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Sinnoh_myths official one] now.<br />
<br />
How it got a good grade is a mystery lost to time. <br />
<br />
==Introduction==<br />
[[Image:How_the_pokemon_came_into_our_pokeballs.png|thumb|Something like this...]]<br />
How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poké Balls.<br />
10/30/[[1999|99]]<br />
(Intro.)<br />
<br />
For my [[English]] class in late [[September 2009|September of this year]], I had to write my own <br />
myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how [[Pokémon]] came to be."<br />
<br />
My [[English]] teacher thought that it was a great story. So did my [[Barbara|mom]] and a <br />
few [[Christian Weston Chandler|other people]]. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)<br />
<br />
==Page 1==<br />
9/22/99<br />
Page 1. <br />
[[Image:Mewchew.jpg|thumb|right|Mewchu, the creator-god of the [[Pokémon]], according to Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded.]] Some people say that the Pokemon came from the sky in a giant <br />
rock known as the [[Moon Stone]. Others say that they originated from the depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true... this is the <br />
true story.<br />
<br />
A long, long time ago in the heavens above, there were such <br />
powerful gods as [[Wikipedia:Zeus|Zeus]], Maheo,&lt;ref>[http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/native_american-mythology.php?deity=MAHEO Maheo is a Native American creation deity]&lt;/ref> and [[GodJesus|many more]]. But, it all started with <br />
a rookie god, known as...Mewchu. He had thepower to help provide for the <br />
animals, plants, minerals, and to keep track of the seven natural powers of <br />
the universe: Fire, Grass, Lightning, Water, Fighting, Psychic, and the <br />
power of the Colorless Star. <br />
<br />
Mewchu made sure that the animals and plants were fed from [[McDonald's|natures <br />
good foods]]. He made sure that nature's minerals, such as rocks, dirt from <br />
the ground, and the [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|mucky messes]] were used for their purpose.<br />
<br />
One day, Mewchu said to himself, "[[Monthly Tugboat|There must be a way to allow the <br />
animals, small and big, to do these tough chores, so that I may be able to <br />
be a little clean.]]" Then, he thought, "Why not give some of the natural <br />
powers to a new type of creature." So, he went down to earth with the <br />
power to absorb the natural powers of earth, and share it. So, he <br />
stood... in the middle of the Pacific, surrounded by islands of seven <br />
and water.<br />
[[Image:Mewchu.png|thumb|right|True and Original Creator of all [[Pokemon]] , DO NOT STEAL!.]]<br />
<br />
He decided to start with making a powerful animal to assist him <br />
in his great task. Then, he found a weird creature on an island. It was <br />
mostly white, blue eyes, short arms, big feet, and a long tail with a pink fpsy<br />
<br />
tip. [[Wikipedia:Mewchu|Mewchu]] has never seen such an animal, so he absorbed the power of<br />
Psychic from the stars, gave the creature a gentle rub on its back, and <br />
picked it up. And Mewchu said to the creature, "You, rare creature, have <br />
received the supernatural power of the Psychics from the stars above us. <br />
But you would need a name for you will be my assistant to make a new type <br />
of elemental creatures. I shall call you...[[Wikipedia:Mew|Mew]]." And the Mew jumped for <br />
joy, then set him down with some wise words. "Mew," Mewchu said, "I want <br />
you to pick some animals that are here now, and share with them the Psychic <br />
power. For I would not be able to, because I may only share each elemental <br />
power only one time for one creature or more. I trust that you can share <br />
this power, while I handle the other six elemental powers." Then he set the <br />
Mew down, on its island and it went on its way.<br />
<br />
==Page 2==<br />
9/22/[[1999|99]]<br />
Page 2.<br />
<br />
Mewchu decided to start with the power of grass, so he rubbed the <br />
grass of another island's ground, and he waved his hand over the trees. <br />
A [[Wikipedia:Triceratops|triceratops]] began to lose its horns, and it turned into a creature <br />
called [[Wikipedia:Bulbasaur|Bulbasaur]]. A caterpillar lost its fuzz; it grew a little bigger; it <br />
turned green, and it got the name of [[Wikipedia:Caterpie|Caterpie]]. Another caterpillar's fur <br />
only shortened; it grew a small horn; it grew a little, like the Caterpie <br />
did; it turned orange, and it became a [[Wikipedia:Weedle|Weedle]]. A rattlesnake turned <br />
purple, and grew a single yellow stripe; it became an [[Wikipedia:Ekans|Ekans]]. A rat grew <br />
small horns, turned blue, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♀|Nidoran (female)]]. And, another rat <br />
grew bigger horns, turned pink, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♂|Nidoran (male)]]. A bat's legs <br />
turned to two tails as thin as a blade of grass, its ears grew bigger, and <br />
it became a [[Wikipedia:Zubat|Zubat]]. A tiny bush sprouted out of the ground, grew eyes,<br />
and became an [[Wikipedia:Oddish|Oddish]]. A fuzzy bush grew two teeth like a vampire; it <br />
became a [[Wikipedia:Venonat|Venonat]]. A bell-shaped palm shrunk; it became a [[Wikipedia:Bellsprout|Bellsprout]]. <br />
A mud puddle grew into a [[Wikipedia:Grimer|Grimer]]. Six eggs bounced and said, "[[Wikipedia:Exeggcute|Exeggcute]]." <br />
A puff of smoke became solid, and mentioned, "[[Wikipedia:Koffing|Koffing]]." A bunch of vines <br />
gathered around another Oddish, it was [[Wikipedia:Tangela|Tangela]]. A dragonfly grew, and said, <br />
"[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]." The rocks got a body of armor, and said, "[[Wikipedia:Pinser|Pinser]]."<br />
<br />
Then Mewchu dipped his hand into the firey [[Wikipedia:Volcano|volcano]] of another <br />
island, pulled it out, and waved his hand over the volcano. Many animals <br />
were below. A baby [[Wikipedia:Tyrannosaurus|tyrannosaurus]] got fire on its tail, and yelled, <br />
"[[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charrrrmander]]!" A fox's tail split into six. Maybe, it's now a [[Wikipedia:Vulpix|Vulpix]]. <br />
A dog turned orange, and growled, "[[Wikipedia:Growlithe|Growwwllithe]]!" A [[Wikipedia:Ponyta|pony]] got burned, and <br />
neighed. A chunk of ash was revived and turned into a [[Wikipedia:Magmar|Magmar]]. And, a big <br />
bird flew out the volcano, it was a [[Wikipedia:Moltres|Moltres]].<br />
<br />
Mewchu then dipped his hand in the ocean's waters, and gave another <br />
wave over another island with a big lake in the middle. A baby turtle and <br />
a squirrel on an island joined together to make a [[Wikipedia:Squirtle|Squirtle]]. A fat duck <br />
turned yellow with a headache; it became a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]]. A tadpole got bigger <br />
with a swirl on its belly, a [[Wikipedia:Poliwag|Poliwag]] came to be. A jellyfish's arms shrunk<br />
into two. It was then a [[Wikipedia:Tentacool|Tentacool]]. A [[Wikipedia:Slowpoke|Slowpoke]] was formed when a baby <br />
hippopotamus grew a tail. A seal turned white, and grew a horn on its <br />
head; it was [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (52–101)#Seel|Seel]]. A shell opened up, and stuck out a tongue, hello <br />
[[Wikipedia:Shellder|Shellder]]. A [[Wikipedia:Krabby|Krabby]] came when a crab got crowned. A seahorse started to <br />
spit oil, a fish grew a horn on its head, and starfish grew a jewel. <br />
Here were a [[Wikipedia:Horsea|Horsea]], a [[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]], and a [[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]. A crown from a treasure grew <br />
onto a hard-shell fish; here was a [[Wikipedia:Magikarp|Magikarp]]. A rare lochness monster grew <br />
a spiked shell on its back; it became a [[Wikipedia:Lapras|Lapras]]. A fossil was revived; it <br />
was an Omanyte. Out of an arctic ice berg, an Articuno broke out.<br />
<br />
==Page 3==<br />
9/22/[[1999|99]]<br />
Page 3.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Mew shared its Psychic power with a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]], and a <br />
[[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (52–101)#Slowpoke|Slowpoke]]. When Mew shared it with a rat, it fell asleep, and grew into <br />
an Abra. When Mew came across the body of a dead lizard, it summoned its <br />
spirit, and shared some "Gastly" secrets with it. Later, Mew met an <br />
anteater; Mew put it to sleep, and the anteater became a Drowzee. Mew found two monkeys, with an evolution. One turned into a Mr. Mime, and the other became a Jynx. Later in the night, Mew gave birth, and the baby Mew looked <br />
different. The new Mew gave its mother a psychic attack, and thrown it up <br />
a tree. Suddenly, the new Mew grew to the size that of a man with many years, It was a Mewtwo.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Mewchu found a barren island with sand and rocks. He <br />
punched it, and out of the ground came the fighting and ground type <br />
creatures: [[Wikipedia:Sandshrew, [[Wikipedia:Diglett, [[Wikipedia:Mankey|Mankey]], [[Wikipedia:Machop|Machop]], [[Wikipedia:Geodude|Geodude]], [[Wikipedia:Onix|Onix]], [[Wikipedia:Cubone|Cubone]], [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]], [[Wikipedia:Hitmonchan|Hitmonchan]], [[Wikipedia:RhyhornRhyhorn]], and a [[Wikipedia:Kabuto|Kabuto]].<br />
<br />
Then Mewchu summoned a thunderstorm, and lightning struck another <br />
island. The lightning hit a little mouse, and the mouse grew into a <br />
Pikachu.Metallic minerals rose out of the ground of a small area of the <br />
island, and it formed to make a Magnemite. A coconut was struck with a <br />
piece of the metallic material carrying some of the electric power; the <br />
coconut turned metallic; it became a Voltorb. A wild cat was struck, and <br />
it became an Electabuzz. And out of the thunderous clouds came a Zapdos.<br />
<br />
And finally, Mewchu planted a transparent star in the middle of the <br />
other island. And from the star came the Colorless creatures: Pidgey, <br />
Rattata, Spearow, Clefairy, Jigglypuff, Meowth, Farfetch'd, Doduo, <br />
Lickitung, Chansey, Tauros, Eevee, Porygon, and Dratini.<br />
Before Mewchu bid farewell, he waved his hand over all seven <br />
islands, and most of the creatures evolved into more powerful creatures. <br />
And, then He shouted out, "May these creatures be helpful to the earth, <br />
and may they use their abilities wisely." Then, he said with a tear of <br />
joy, "Farewell,... Pokemon." And Mewchu flew back into the heavens.<br />
<br />
The End.<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
{{Writings}}<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]<br />
[[Category:Poetry]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens&diff=126766Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens2010-11-24T03:37:20Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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:''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCVille_Rogues_Gallery.png|thumb|&lt;s>[[Mary Lee Walsh]]&lt;/s> Slaweel Ryam and her corrupted citizens.]]<br />
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb|The PVCC logo]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|After being Laid Off and down on her Love Luck, she sought revenge and make that ALL WILL REMAIN VIRGINS WITHOUT TRUE, HONEST LOVE within the State of Virginia.|[[Chris]], on the origins of the PVCC}}<br />
<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' due to numerous grievances he has with the school. <br />
<br />
Although it is known that PVCC and its dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] interfered with Chris's [[Love Quest]] and the distribution of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, it remains unclear which particular incident inspired him to coin the term. Within the context of his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].<br />
<br />
As you can imagine, when [[Cogsdev]] decided to create the troll message boards, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].<br />
<br />
== The fictional history ==<br />
<br />
Apparently, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ([[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as Slaweel Ryam) was "Dean of Student Services" at Piedmont Virginia Community College, around June [[2000]]. She was [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|fired]] for making love potions and selling [[Yawning Squirtle|drugs]] on the side. No, I'm not fucking with [[Gal-pal|you]].&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_early_days_of_Mary_Lee_Walsh.2C_AKA_Slaweel_Ryam&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
{{quote|[..] she provided High-Inducing Concoctions to the Bummed Hobos that hung around the campus during Closed Hours.|Chris, on [[Cwcipedia]]}}<br />
<br />
The downtrodden [[MLW]] picked herself up and built the "Prowldent Virginia Community College" (Chris fucks up the entire series continuity right here), ten miles north of [[CWCville]]. While building, Mary came into contact with [[Count Graduon]], amplifying her powers. Under the guise of running an educational institution, she begins to recruit the [[Jerkops]] and engineers the first [[Transformers|Decepti-clones]].&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Decepti-Clones&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
&lt;!-- ''(needs at least a paragraph on PVCCitizens – ATM it's only about ProwldentVCC) --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:56, 20 December 2009 (CET)'' --><br />
<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
===ProwldentVCC or PVCCitizens?===<br />
[[Image:ProwldentVCC.jpg|thumb|right| Another PVCC logo, on the same goddamn page]]<br />
<br />
So... is is "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens" or "Prowldent Virginia Community College"?<br />
<br />
One could assume that the latter is just an innocently-sounding front for [[MLW]]'s shady business, while the former is the name of her criminal organization. However, in his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations to his ED article]] Chris called [[MLW]]'s educational facility "PVCCitizens", not "Prowldent Virginia Community College".<br />
<br />
He also noted that, though it often goes to war against [[CWCville]] as a whole, it's not a ''city'', but an ''"Evil School"''. A previously unknown type of educational facility, we can only deduce that its goal is to teach children all things evil – like, e.g., an Art School teaches art. It's probably the kind of school [[wikipedia:Doctor Evil|Dr. Evil]] attended, before getting his Doctorate in Evil.<br />
<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
=== To recap ===<br />
<br />
* CWC is heart-shattered. Much whining comes after.<br />
* Nazi golem rampages through town, controlled by [[Mary Lee Walsh|MLW]]. Is soon stopped by Chris and company.<br />
* Chris [[Chris and anger|breaks into Mary's home, beats her up.]]<br />
* Cock-blocking in the mall.<br />
* Yet more cock-blocking.<br />
* MLW traps [[Crystal]], who is saved 5 issues later, possibly due to Chris completely forgetting this plot thread.<br />
<br />
== Errors and retcons ==<br />
<br />
In ''[[Sonichu 4]]'' it's established that MLW took over [[Manchester High School]], yet in all media that follows the place is still described as the PVCC. Disregarding the creepy little tale known as [[The High School Story]], of course.<br />
<br />
According to the [[Cwcipedia]],&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21&lt;/ref> Chris fought against the tyrannical PVCC in March [[2004]], in some sort of terrible Go-Bots/Power Rangers/[[Anime]] battle. This runs counter to all of the published comics, in which the only ''Power Ranger''-esque character is [[Bagget]], and the Go-Bots have never been seen.<br />
<br />
Akin to Chris claiming that Slaweel and Mary Lee Walsh were separate people, Chris clarifies in one of the [[Official Videobooks]] that the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (PVCC) should be referred to as "PVCCitizens" to distinguish it from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. (It should come as no surprise that Chris has no idea what kind of images the phrase "[[wikipedia:Polyvinyl chloride#Clothing|PVC]] citizens" [[homos|conjures up]] among regular people.)<br />
<br />
=== Two Marys ===<br />
<br />
Yet another major retcon by Chris, apparently there are two Mary Lee Walshes. Ironically, the one that shattered his heart retired in peace, and was replaced by a malevolent clone, even further bent on torturing Chris.&lt;ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys&lt;/ref> This second Mary would become Slaweel Ryam. ([[Autistic|Clever]], right?)<br />
<br />
{{quote|NOTE, the Mary Lee Walsh of the Comic Pages is a Different Person from the one who replaced her at Piedmont Virginia Community College FOR REAL. NO Blood Ties or Relation at all with the First One; and this one had resided in Virginia a LONG Time with her husband and children. She was working at another college before being transferred to PVCC after the OLDER Mary was fired.|Chris, apologizing to the woman he wanted to "mach punch"}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category: CWC-isms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Alec_Benson_Leary_calls&diff=126765Alec Benson Leary calls2010-11-24T03:37:09Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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The '''Alec Benson Leary calls''' were a series of calls between Alec Benson Leary, the True and Honest creator of [[Asperchu]], and [[Chris]] which took place in late [[January 2010|January]] and early [[February 2010]].<br />
<br />
These conversations provide valuable background insight into the battle over Asperchu. Chris is forced to confront someone who, in a few important ways, is not unlike him. Just as Chris swiped Nintendo and Sega's characters to provide the building blocks of his comic, so did Alec (at least in Chris's eyes) use Chris's characters as the foundation of his stories, offering the same kind of excuses as Chris in the bargain. Likewise, Chris is confronted with the fact that he stole and abused [[Evan]]'s character [[Evan#Simonchu|Simonchu]], just as [[trolls]] have abused many of Chris's own characters, like [[Rosechu]]. He is also shown that, in the same way that those trolls have used the internet to mock, slander, and character-assassinate Chris himself, he has spread lies and slander about Alec in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]].<br />
<br />
For some people, this would be an important opportunity for sober reflection. Chris, however, doesn't have the wiring for that. In the earlier conversations, he tends to be combative, seemingly believing that he can either mock or debate Alec into submission. Later, as Alec proves unwilling to tolerate Chris's bullshit — and the operators of the [[Asperpedia]] prove unwilling to take down their offensive ads from the CWCipedia — Chris becomes less and less engaged in their conversations, mechanically responding to Alec by rote.<br />
<br />
Altogether, the calls show the amazing extent of Chris's inflexible belief that he is always right. (Faced with an uncomplicated set of requirements, he fails at the simple task of delivering a sincere apology on no fewer [[29 January 2010|than]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|three]] [[5 February 2010|occasions]].) It's interesting to consider what Chris thought the ultimate outcome of the dispute would be. He never seems to realize, despite many clear warnings, that he has no real control over the CWCipedia, and that his refusal to cooperate with Alec and Evan could result in its [[9_February_2010|destruction]].<br />
<br />
There are also several parallels between these calls and the [[Father Call|conversation between Chris and Matt Devoria]]. Discussions about what the word [[naïve]] truly means, Chris's inability to be an adult, and Chris's unwillingness to put honest effort into something he supposedly really cares about (in this case, his comic) prove that despite some [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|emotional]] [[CWC_is_sad|videos]] from that debacle, Chris didn't learn a single thing from his earlier experience.<br />
<br />
==Call 1==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1}}<br />
Alec calls Chris to talk about the ads Mao has been putting on the [[CWCipedia]], and to talk about the threatening videos Chris has been putting on [[YouTube]]. The two try to clear the air and start off making some progress, but they soon fall into some stumbling blocks about the usage of their respective characters. Alec keeps showing Chris that Chris is being two-faced about said usage, and pointing out that Chris is treating Alec in much the same way trolls treat Chris. Chris gets agitated and tries to change the subject several times, but each subject they move to further points out Chris's hypocrisy. Eventually a frustrated Chris says his phone's battery is running low and hastily disconnects.<br />
<br />
==Call 2==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2}}<br />
After not answering the phone when he said he'd be available, a surprised Chris gets another call from Alec later in the day. Once again they discuss the ads on Chris's site, and Chris laments that his fans actually [[Mailbag|ask questions]] instead of [[Chris and ego|e-fellating him]]. Chris says he thinks it's terrible that Alec emphasizes [[Asperchu]]'s condition by having "asper" in his name, and suggests Asperchu wouldn't want people to know about it, even though Chris has spent his entire life mentioning his [[autism]] at every opportunity and using it as an excuse for his failures. Chris admits that he thinks his [[Sonichu|cartoon characters]], their thoughts and feelings, and the [[Chris_and_reality|world they inhabit are completely real, just like Toontown coexists with reality in the film "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"]] and suggests Alec is naïve for thinking otherwise. Alec then hammers Chris on his poor work ethic and lack of effort, and they have a discussion about hand-drawn comics versus computer-manipulated ones in which Alec argues that Chris shouldn't put down the digital manipulation in "Asperchu" since Chris uses Photoshop to add text to [[Sonichu_(comic)|"Sonichu."]] They also discuss [[Evan]] possibly suing Chris over [[Simonchu]] until Chris conveniently gets [[stress|tired]].<br />
<br />
==Call 3==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3}}<br />
When Alec calls this time, Chris immediately tries to weasel out of speaking to him by claiming he's expecting a call. Alec takes Chris to task for [[29_January_2010|not putting out a satisfactory apology video]], for not giving in to Evan's demands regarding Simonchu and Simonla, and for calling Alec naïve and using the CWCipedia to slander him. Chris continues to whine that his fanmail challenges him, and he and Alec resume talking about the usage of their characters. Alec then tries to give Chris more advice about Chris's work ethic, but Chris makes more lame excuses, and quickly ends the conversation to wait for the aforementioned (and likely non-existent) phone call.<br />
<br />
==Call 4==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4}}<br />
The audio for this call starts in the middle of the conversation, but it's clear that the normally diplomatic and well-mannered Alec is growing increasingly weary of Chris's shit. Alec wants Chris to make a better apology video in return for removing the ads from CWCipedia. Alec lists the conditions of the apology, and Chris tries to negotiate items that are non-negotiable. As Chris doesn't ever feel he's wrong about anything, Alec has to hand-hold Chris through the process of figuring out for what he should be apologizing. Chris also tries to go back on their agreements for the usage of their characters and wanting Alec to remove his version of the Chaotic Combo, though it was previously established that Alec's version is completely different from Chris's. Chris says that he'll have the new apology uploaded to YouTube later that night.<br />
<br />
==Call 5==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5}}<br />
Alec is once again unsatisfied with [[Apologies_to_Alec_and_Evan|Chris's apology]], which leaves out several items Alec mandated. Alec tells Chris he's tired of Chris's bullying and now understands how right Mao has been in giving Chris a hard time. After deftly pointing out how Chris is nothing but a troll, Chris steps away from the phone and [[Challenge for Clyde|hides behind his mother's skirt]] by impersonating [[Barbara Chandler|her]] and pretending she is calling Chris to take care of their [[Chandler cats|cat]]; he then comes back to the phone to tell a furious Alec that he has to leave.<br />
<br />
==Call 6==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6}}<br />
Alec goes through an even more deliberate process to step Chris through what's necessary to get the CWCipedia ads removed. Chris spends much of the call blowing Alec off and very strongly suggests that he's not going to budge on certain demands. For instance, he calls the demand to remove Simonchu from his comic "debatable" and at one point says he will not kill Simonla off, despite it being made clear that he must do these things to get the ads removed. There's a brief discussion where Chris says he didn't mean to [[Basement Rosechus|insinuate that Alec kept women in his basement in cages to rape them]], only that he was keeping them like pets. Scantily-clad abused pets. They discuss Chris's misunderstanding of words (such as "naïve") and figures of speech (Chris says if someone exclaimed figuratively, "just shoot me," he wouldn't ''necessarily'' shoot them). They talk further about Chris's update schedule, or lack thereof, and how easy it is for Chris's Sonichu Empire to get derailed. Chris tries to rationalize stealing the intellectual properties of others while complaining about Alec stealing from him. Chris firmly believes he will not be sued by Hasbro, Nintendo, or Sega if he tries to make money off Sonichu, and points to him not yet being sued as proof. Alec implores Chris to come up with something original before he gets sued, but his words surprisingly fall on deaf ears. Alec explains that he's ultimately trying to help Chris and it's very frustrating that he doesn't seem to care, and warns Chris that while he's been more than forgiving thus far, he has essentially run out of chances.<br />
<br />
==Call 7==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7}}<br />
At this point, Evan has frozen the CWCipedia due to Chris's stubbornness regarding Simonla and Simonchu. Despite the unmistakable clarity of Alec's requests in the previous call, Chris still delivers [[5_February_2010|an unsatisfactory apology]] leaving many items out. Chris complains that his computer has not been running right and now he can't get into CWCipedia to make updates or right the wrongs he never intended to right. Alec accuses Chris of not caring about Sonichu at all, citing his handling of the issue and inability to maintain a working computer. As he did with [[Kacey]] during the [[Father Call]] when he was accused of not caring about her and being unwilling to do right by her, Chris insists that's not true though he provides no evidence to counter the claims. When Alec shows Chris that he's putting far more effort into video games, sleeping, and attacking Alec than he does into his comic, Chris hangs up on him. <br />
<br />
==Call 8==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8}}<br />
After being summoned for yet another call to discuss the presence of Sonichu Revolution on CWCipedia, Alec complains about Chris's failure to upload his comics and calls him out on his hypocrisy.<br />
<br />
==Call 9==<br />
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9}}<br />
Alec calls up Chris a ninth time, this time to discuss his reasoning for the final pages of [[Sonichu 10]], his understanding of copyright, and the importance of [[Christian Love Day]].<br />
<br />
==YouTube==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNQNdjFES7o The first call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGB99JTZJes The second call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XaH3RRyXZ0 The third call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pBOGTVDYo The fourth call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043M89cXAlU The fifth call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBPdXXFnvzU The sixth call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRH_7Puy6jY The seventh call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_MovingFoward_videos&diff=126764The MovingFoward videos2010-11-24T03:37:02Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:ARCH.jpg|center|300px]]<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcps3.jpg|thumb|One lucky console]]<br />
<br />
The '''MovingFoward videos''' are a compilation of three leaked videos ('''MovingFoward''', '''MovingFurtherFoward''', '''100_2209.MOV''') where [[Chris]] physically destroys his [[PS3]]. Having first followed [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|good hard drive disposal practice]], Chris says a few choice words before destroying the console with a brick, [[Son-Chu|his car]], and some scissors. Some photographs of the console in various states of destruction were also leaked.<br />
<br />
Chris says that after smashing his console and driving over it with his car, he plugged it in again, apparently to prove that it would no longer function. He seems to have been unaware of the [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|danger of fire]] or [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric]] shock involved (or perhaps, in his despondent state, he simply didn't care). <br />
<br />
Many [[trolls]] had come up with theories as to why Chris smashed his beloved Life Upgrade. Eventually, it was revealed in a [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|communication between Chris and some high-profile trolls]] that Chris wanted to claim a very large monetary reward for its destruction. To no one's surprise, not only was there supposedly a reward waiting for such an act like this, but it has been completely in vain on Chris's part.<br />
<br />
Interesting to note here is that, like the snake he tried to run over, the cardboard box and the [[clown doll]], it takes Chris three tries AND [[ItIsFinished.MOV|a coup de grace the next day]] just to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|BREAK DEAD]] his PS3.<br />
<br />
== Video ==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward &amp; 100_2209.MOV<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2rVhTdCIJc8}}<br />
| stardate = 29 August 2010<br />
| subject = {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| saga = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}, Sleeveless Pokéshirt<br />
| previous = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]<br />
| next = [[ItIsFinished.MOV]]<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
== Transcript ==<br />
<br />
===Part one (MovingForward)===<br />
<br />
[''An opening title card appears, which reads "MovingForward." We cut to Chris, who is standing around outside and shakily filming himself with a handheld camera.'']<br />
<br />
Saturday, August 28, 2010.<br />
<br />
[''Chris removes his [[glasses]].'']<br />
<br />
I make this video... as a tribute... to [[Gal-pal|what I have lost]]. But also from which I have lost, I have [[Hair|lost something that was of important value]], but I am able to let go. It is the [[Song of Christian|spirit of myself... of which was very lonely]]. But now move on, to a [[Video games|much brighter future]]. And now for the... feature presentation. On this video. What you are about to see is [[April 16 Fetish Vids|uncensored and unedited]].<br />
<br />
[''He moves the camera to show his PS3, which has a case cover plastered in artwork of himself and [[Sonichu]].'']<br />
<br />
My PlayStation 3, here in the backyard.<br />
<br />
[''He opens the access port to show the hard drive.'']<br />
<br />
The hard drive still in there. [''pause''] Formatted as it was. And for a memento... I'm keeping the cover.<br />
<br />
[''He removes the case cover, complete with the original [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] drawing, and puts it to one side. Then he focuses the camera on himself again.'']<br />
<br />
Again, it's very- this- this is [[CWCFlyingElephants|very graphic]], so if you are weak in the stomach, especially as a gamer, look away, and I mean no [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|disrespect to Sony Computer Entertainment America]]. Maker of the fine product.<br />
<br />
[''Chris mumbles something unintelligible amid the noise of moving the camera. He then sets the camera down so it is focused on his PS3. H then puts on a pair of work gloves and picks up a piece of landscaping brick while an airplane flies overhead.'']<br />
<br />
Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. [[Chris and English|I bid you... fond... faredieu.]] Adieu. Fond farewell~...<br />
<br />
[''Chris uses the brick to bash his PS3 for the better part of a minute, never raising the brick over his head and only cracking the outer case. [[Chris and health|He pauses a few times to catch his breath]]. After a time, he moves back over to the camera.'']<br />
<br />
[[Chris and reality|Crushed. Unplayable.]] The deed is done.<br />
<br />
===Part two (MovingFurtherForward)===<br />
<br />
[''Cut to a second title card, "MovingFurtherForward." It is nighttime - barely anything is visible. The camera is looking at Chris's driveway, in front of his (running) car. The headlights allow us to see Chris place the PS3 in front of the left front wheel of Son-Chu. He gets in the car, backs up, and pulls forward, running over the PS3. After a long pause, during which a loud thumping sound is heard and a dog starts to bark, he backs up over it and pulls forward over it again. Chris moves over to the camera again and points it at something, presumably the PS3.'']<br />
<br />
Well, you get the idea, anyway. It's useless! Broken!<br />
<br />
===Part three (REALLYMovingForward)===<br />
<br />
[''Cut to a third title card, "'100_2209.MOV' (A.K.A. 'REALLYMovingForward')." We are in Chris's bedroom. The camera shows us the wreckage of his PS3, very much the worse for wear. In addition to beating the hell out of it, he appears to have cracked the case and broken it down to its component parts, which he shows us by panning the camera around. Chris's speech appears to be [[Alcohol|slurred slightly]].'']<br />
<br />
[''sighs''] Well, I [[6 June 2010|run it over with a car]] and smashed it with a brick. Ugh. I thought I hit it on the metal part and the heavy plastic, but still, when I look at- still, when I plugged it in, it did not turn on. Actually, it went into standby mode, but that's all- as far as it went. That's all it went. So right now I'm gonna finish the job. Finish the job. <br />
<br />
[''Chris sets down the camera to show himself and the PS3 parts. He then picks up a pair of scissors, which he uses to stab repeatedly at bits of his former console. Partway through the stab-fest, he unfolds the scissors and goes at it two-fisted. Wearing out after about 45 seconds, he folds up his scissors and sifts through the debris.'']<br />
<br />
[[Duck|Look at that bend.]] [[Chris and anger|Broke a whole buncha stuff.]] Now you tell me... it's still good! It ain't now!<br />
<br />
[''Chris stands up and the video cuts off.'']<br />
<br />
== Destruction gallery ==<br />
<br />
In addition to the poor quality video footage of the PS3's destruction, numerous photographs of the before and after have been leaked:<br />
<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
File:PreCar1.JPG|Pre-Car<br />
File:PreCar2.JPG|Car<br />
File:PostCar.JPG|Post-Car<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
File:100 2208.JPG<br />
File:100 2210.JPG<br />
File:100 2211.JPG<br />
File:100 2212.JPG<br />
File:100 2213.JPG<br />
File:100 2214.JPG<br />
File:100 2215.JPG<br />
File:Cameragroup002.jpg<br />
File:Cameragroup003.jpg<br />
File:Cameragroup004.jpg<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
== Fan videos ==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = R.I.P. CWC's PS3<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|iPKvmCzuDC0}}<br />
| Stardate = 29 August 2010<br />
| Maker = tehcosmicexplorer08 <br />
| Video Type = Tribute<br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Tribute To Chris-Chan's PS3<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lFIVUtNszoE}}<br />
| Stardate = 1 September 2010<br />
| Maker = MountieFromHell<br />
| Video Type = Music video<br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-chan - This video will **** you. <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qUl8tjN7q3s}}<br />
| Stardate = 2 September 2010<br />
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia <br />
| Video Type = ???<br />
}}<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
*[[PS3]]<br />
*[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]<br />
*[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]<br />
*[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]|nextlink=[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]}}<br />
<br />
{{LeakedVideos}}<br />
{{Game Videos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sandy_Rosechu&diff=126763Sandy Rosechu2010-11-24T03:36:57Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|thumb|D'aww! She's just so cute before violently ripping [[Evan]] to shreds with her bare hands!]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|Sandy, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}<br />
<br />
'''Sandy Rosechu''' is the bastard daughter of [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Wild Sonichu]], with many of the same design elements as the former and NONE of the latter, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. For whatever reason, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age, but she has no other discernible personality traits from the other [[Rosechu (species)|Mary Sues]] (assuming that they have any).<br />
<br />
==Sonichu 10==<br />
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."|Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need}}<br />
<br />
In [[February 2010]] Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers care about [[Sonee &amp; Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Ever sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "[[Lie|Evan killed Mommy]]".<br />
<br />
Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand, which causes her evolution into a [[rosechu (species)|rosechu]]. And by the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. Naturally, all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild, responsible father that he is, encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying serial killer tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killer blow together. If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the [[Chris and Reality|CWCiverse]], Sandy's grandfather.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Lisa.jpg|thumb|A super intelligent girl with spiked hair?]]<br />
<br />
According to Chris's [[CWCipedia]] ramblings on [[Rosechu (species)#Rosechus and evolution|Rosechu evolution]], a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. Wild gave Sandy soft sand to play with as a Rosey in [[Sonichu 10]], which provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week. The fact that this means Wild essentially ''forced'' his daughter to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in [[Sonichu 10]].<br />
<br />
==Outside the comics==<br />
{{quote|Sandy is pretty awesome, and not Simonla.|Evan's response to Sandy, on his DeviantART account}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}<br />
<br />
Sandy is basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she's little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic THIRST! FOR! BLOOD! Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing (which, fortunately, was very little).<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, despite the negative reception of Simonla, fans seem to have welcomed Sandy Rosechu into the series. Her popularity resulted in [[:Category:Sandy|fan art]] and even [[Fan:Capering_Berries|her own comic]] within days of her first appearance. This might be because she is one of the only characters with any sort of personality or depth. Of course, since this is something written by Chris, she'll probably devolve into yet another soulless husk who lives only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.<br />
<br />
==Future==<br />
It remains to be seen if Sandy will be a recurring or regular character, or if she will get sent to the [[Moon]], but if she becomes a recurrent character, Chris will find a way to pair her up with a sonee or a [[pedofork|sonichu]]. With Chris's announcement that he will be redrawing the end of Sonichu 10 ''yet again'', her future remains up in the air.<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Barbara_Chandler&diff=126762Barbara Chandler2010-11-24T03:36:54Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the [[Internet]].|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank calls|prank call]]}}<br />
<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | Chandler family<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Barb Chandler<br />
|-<br />
| '''Birth name'''<br />
| Barbara Anne Weston<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nicknames'''<br />
| Snorlax<br />
|-<br />
| '''D.O.B.'''<br />
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Female<br />
|-<br />
| '''Nationality'''<br />
| [[United States of America|American]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Race'''<br />
| White<br />
|-<br />
| '''Marriage'''<br />
| Ron Coleman Yeatts&lt;br><br />
[[Robert Franklin Chandler|Bob]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Issue'''<br />
| [[Cole Smithey]]<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation'''<br />
| Office worker (ret.)<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''&lt;ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]&lt;/ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]&lt;ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html&lt;/ref>) is the wife of [[Bob Chandler]] and terrible mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.&lt;ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]&lt;/ref> She has not won the award since.<br />
<br />
==Appearance==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction]]<br />
<br />
As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is "affectionately" referred to as [[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]] by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot&lt;ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]&lt;/ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].&lt;ref>[[Church audio]]&lt;/ref> Barb has no eyebrows in the first picture on this article. for some strange reason.<br />
<br />
==Cole and his possible fathers==<br />
<br />
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]<br />
<br />
Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] in [[Richmond, Virginia]], near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.&lt;ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
Barbara gave birth to Cole in [[1963]]. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash. She insisted that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed to be married, but records show that she actually married one Ran '''Cole'''man Yeatts in [[1961]]. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Ran Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.<br />
<br />
During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner Jerry.&lt;ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]&lt;/ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republicanism]]. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."&lt;ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]&lt;/ref> The translation would be "She likes to piss off everyone around her by dating assholes." The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. <br />
<br />
Barbara visited Cole only once in twenty-seven years.&lt;ref name="email07-03-06p1" /><br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Marriage with Bob==<br />
<br />
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic]]<br />
<br />
Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a [[Guitar Hero|karaoke]] night in [[1979]]. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.&lt;ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]&lt;/ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being [[Alcohol|drunk]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|retards]].&lt;ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]&lt;/ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in [[1980]].&lt;ref name="Mumble 3.5" /><br />
<br />
According to Chris, Barbara has not had [[sex]] with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.&lt;ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]&lt;/ref> <br />
<br />
During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in [[Midlothian, Virginia]], Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in [[Ruckersville]] to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.<br />
<br />
Instead of accepting that their marriage isn't what it used to be, that they have different goals for their son in life and move on like any other healthy human being, she is either too lazy, poor, and/or unwilling to explain to Chris the intricacies of a divorce and its effect on a family dynamic, thereby putting herself in the inescapable rut she is in today.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Pampering of Chris==<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]] ([[Mumble 10]])}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]<br />
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an [[Incest|intimate moment]].]]<br />
<br />
According to [[Cole]], Barbara and Bob left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]].&lt;ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]&lt;/ref><br />
<br />
Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.&lt;ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]&lt;/ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} This behavior extends to Bob to some degree as well, as she spends most of the [[Matthew Noble call]] denying that [[Bob]] was yelling at anyone.<br />
<br />
Barbara was Chris's date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [''sic''] prom]]. <br />
<br />
On at least two occasions, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake. In the fall of [[2007]], after a photo of Chris taken at the store wound up on the Internet, she interrogated [[Mimms]] as to the origins of the picture and threatened legal action. The next summer, after Chris was kicked out of the store for good, she returned to try and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.<br />
<br />
She is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and go to prison. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10|thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years.<br />
<br />
While having a special needs child is a major [[stress]]or in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of [[Wikipedia:Down's syndrome|Down's syndrome]] can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.<br />
<br />
==Recent health problems==<br />
<br />
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was [[Wikipedia:Foodborne illness|a foodborne illness]].&lt;ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]&lt;/ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|diarrhea]] and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.<br />
<br />
Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.&lt;ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]&lt;/ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.&lt;ref name="9 October 2009"/><br />
<br />
A recent [[field agent]] report revealed that Barbara has lost significant weight as a consequence of her colitis.{{cite}} Nonetheless, the epithet "Snorlax" has been grandfathered (grandmothered?) and remains the preferred way to refer to the formerly rotund woman.<br />
<br />
==In the comics==<br />
<br />
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being an adequate son]]<br />
<br />
Barbara made a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].<br />
<br />
==Audio appearances==<br />
<br />
* c. [[1998]]: Barbara requests a song on [[KCWC]].<br />
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]<br />
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].<br />
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."<br />
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].<br />
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"<br />
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In her longest audio contact to date, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.<br />
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]: At the end of the video, she can be heard saying "hello" to Chris&lt;ref>[[Jackie E-mails 16]]&lt;/ref>.<br />
* [[Prank_calls#Snake_Productions_Calls_Barbara_Chandler|SHUT UP!!!]] in which Barb yells over the phone.<br />
<br />
==Video appearances==<br />
<br />
Barbara has only appeared once briefly on video to date, in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
&lt;gallery><br />
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.<br />
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"<br />
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg<br />
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg<br />
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg<br />
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.&lt;ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]&lt;/ref><br />
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg<br />
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.<br />
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg<br />
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.<br />
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.<br />
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.<br />
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.<br />
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg<br />
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he [[Fail|took his mom as his date]].<br />
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.<br />
Image:Bob_80th.jpg<br />
&lt;/gallery><br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]<br />
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mailbag_57&diff=126761Mailbag 572010-11-24T03:36:48Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://enececufo.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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'''Mailbag 57''' was uploaded to the CWCipedia on 17 [[February 2010]]. It was answered by [[Evan]] on 19 [[March 2010]].<br />
<br />
On 11 March, after uploading several Mailbags without any response from Chris, CWCipedia's Sysop consolidated several questions from Mailbags 59 and 60 down into 57 and 58, and also deleted some messages entirely. The revised version is presented below under a separate heading. Please note that as of now, the comments are currently just parodies made during the CWCipedia vandalism.<br />
<br />
This Mailbag remained unanswered before the death of the CWCipedia in [[May 2010]].<br />
<br />
== The original Mailbag 57==<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Planeteer#Ma-Ti|Ma Ti]] &lt;suckmybigheart@gmail.com><br />
Have you tried contacting any comic companies to publish Sonichu, and if yes, what was their response?}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Harry Partridge<br />
In mailbag 52 you said that you planned on spending time with your girlfriend on Valentine's day. How was it?<br />
<br />
I would love to see a picture of you and her together, or some evidence of your relationship. <br />
<br />
After all, that'd sure shut up all the trolls calling you things like a "bra wearing manbaby who'll never get any". <br />
<br />
Those guys are assholes. <br />
<br />
Love Harry}}<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Evang7 &lt;evang7@gmail.com><br />
[[Parody|Your reply to my letter has been read fully]], and your thoughts have<br />
been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your<br />
time and efforts.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Fyodor Dostoyevsky|Fyodor Dostoyevski]] &lt;fyodord2@gmail.com><br />
Dear Chris.<br />
American Psychiatric Association has recently decided to list Asperger's under the Autism spectrum. How do you feel about this? <br />
<br />
[http://tinyurl.com/yf4m2a3]<br />
<br />
And before you give this mail a neutral response, keep in mind that it is both about you (since it's about views you have expressed and a disorder you have) and Cwcpedia (since your views on Asperger's were expressed there) both of which merit a response from you according to your captain's log.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: jerrybaby@usa.com<br />
<br />
I am an aspiring comic artist like you, and I am thoroughly impressed by how much your art has improved over the transition between Sonichu and Sonichu Revolution. Before, the artwork looked so babyish, like something you'd see on the fridge that a three year old did. I mean, seriously, Crayola markers? What were you thinking? It looked so hideous! To be honest, I didn't really like the comic at all before because I thought it looked like shit.<br />
<br />
But now, the comic is really sleek and stylish. It looks so professionally done. The attention to little details is especially great. For example, I like how you drew yourself on the first page of Sonichu Revolution. With your stomach sticking out of your shirt, your receding, your mantits, and those dorky grandma glasses, you drew more realistically than you ever did before. Looks almost like you traced a photo of yourself! Good job.<br />
<br />
All in all, I'm really happy for the changes you've made in Sonichu Revolution. Keep up the good work!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
== The revised Mailbag 57==<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Planeteer#Ma-Ti|Ma Ti]] &lt;suckmybigheart@gmail.com><br />
Have you tried contacting any comic companies to publish Sonichu, and if yes, what was their response?}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Yes, I contacted several companies, but unfortunately each one has told me that Sonichu is a Copyright Infringement, is Poorly Written and Drawn, and has No Chance of making me money. It's clear that they have No Taste, not to see the brilliance of my work! I just ignored them mostly.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Fyodor Dostoyevsky|Fyodor Dostoyevski]] &lt;fyodord2@gmail.com><br />
Dear Chris.<br />
American Psychiatric Association has recently decided to list Asperger's under the Autism spectrum. How do you feel about this? <br />
<br />
[http://tinyurl.com/yf4m2a3]<br />
<br />
And before you give this mail a neutral response, keep in mind that it is both about you (since it's about views you have expressed and a disorder you have) and Cwcpedia (since your views on Asperger's were expressed there) both of which merit a response from you according to your captain's log.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I feel that is NOT ACCEPTABLE. I DO NOT WANT THOSE DAMN ASPERGER'S PEOPLE TO POLLUTE THE AUTISTIC GROUP. Any Asperger's sufferers reading: GO COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT NOW. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE AUTISTIC EVER!!!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Reimu Hakurei|Reimu Hakurei]] &lt;diochromatic.butterfly@gmail.com><br />
Dear Chris, I recently lost my job and I barely have any money to pay rent. It's hard to even find a decent job especially in this economy. My local newspaper didn't even have anything in their Classified section, that's just sad!. I'm not on welfare because I don't like the idea of using other people's money. I considered becoming a stripper because I make as much as people throw money my way but I don't like the idea of men leering at me with their eyes. What should I do?}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Being a Stripper would be a Good Career Option, men always need someone to mass debate to! But have you ever considered becoming a Prostitute? Men would pay you lots and all you have to do is have Sex with them! If you take my advice, please stop by my house; I'm sure giving you this idea earned me a Free Session ;)}}<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Image:Guilmonpic.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL DIGIMON (DO NOT STEAL!)]]<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Takato Matsuda|Takato Matsuda]] &lt;goggleheadtakato@gmail.com><br />
Hi! My name is Takato Matsuda and I am 11 yrs. old and live in Japan. You said that you believe that anything anyone draws becomes real and exists in a different universe. I think that is really cool! I really hope it is true! I drew a digimon. I named him Guilmon! I hope he becomes real and comes find me so we can be friends. Here is a picture of him! The writing on the side says Guilmon because that is his name. I think it is pretty good, but you are an artist so you probably know better. What do you think? It is hand drawn and hand colored so I think you would definitely approve of that. I drew it at school and did not have all my markers and pencils with me so it is only in 2 colors. I hope you do not think it is bad because of that.<br />
<br />
Bye!<br />
<br />
http://i45.tinypic.com/25qat95.jpg}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Sorry, but your drawing is terrible. You're probably Retarded, maybe even with Asperger's. You should just kill yourself now.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: majickwithouttears@disciples.com<br />
I noticed that your birthday is coming up! Happy birthday! My church taught me that one's birthday is the most important holiday of all. Would you agree with this?<br />
<br />
And what do you have planned for your birthday? Are you going to have a big party or just a small celebration? What's on your wishlist?}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I already had my birthday, it was Good, but my Stupid Father didn't get me the prostitute I asked for. What kind of man doesn't buy his Virgin Son a hooker?! I hope he dies.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: thecozumel@usa.com<br />
Hey, when will Sailor Megtune return to the comic? She was my favorite character and I hate that she hasn't been in the comic since forever.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I removed her when Megan moved away, but I recently decided that it doesn't matter what she thinks. Expect her, Sarah Hammer, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, Ivy O'Neil, Blanca Weiss, Hanna, and an ALL-NEW GAL-PAL to appear in a later issue, in which they will all have an Orgy with me.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Super Greg &lt;super_greg_ownsya_mom@hotmail.com><br />
Hey Chris-Chan. Big fan! I love all the content you've been putting out lately, but I was wondering about something.<br />
<br />
How come you stopped making videos displaying your grand amounts of strength? I found them very inspiring and I wish there were more. Maybe make some with you doing sit ups or jumping jacks or any other various exercises. Thanks.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|My current plan is to beat a man up to prove I AM STRONG AND I CAN FIGHT. I'll bring my video camera into Charlottesville and fight the first Nigger I see! Look forward to it!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Kaiser Wilhelm|Kaiser Wilhelm]] &lt;worldwarfun@gmail.com><br />
Why did you say Moon-Pals isn't any good because it's a parody? Sonichu is a parody of Sonic and Pokemon.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Sonichu is original. Moon-Pals is a ripoff. It's incredibly obvious and you must be Slow-In-The-Mind for not seeing it.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: jupiterjump@myself.com<br />
I see you're still not updating your comic daily. Whatever. I'm going back to Asperchu. They update daily}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Well, in that case, I don't even want you as a fan. You can Kill Yourself for all I care.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: twosesames@mail.com<br />
You used to be against drinking alcohol until you tried it. Now, you are no longer against drinking alcohol. Have you given smoking cigarettes the same chance? You might actually enjoy it.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I recently took up smoking, and love it! I currently go through Two Packs a Day, and feel great! The only problem is a Cold I must have caught recently; I keep Uncontrollably Coughing. But the cigarettes make me feel Much Better!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: random_radish@hotmail.com<br />
Chris,<br />
<br />
I believe to be a well rounded and cultured person it's necessary to travel to and experience foreign countries and cultures. I'm twenty years old and recently stayed in Japan for two months. In my lifetime I've been to over twenty five countries and I've funded all my trips since I was sixteen.<br />
My question is Chris, where in the world have you visited and what have you learned from the experiences? How many times have you left the US?<br />
<br />
Your fan, <br />
<br />
[[Homos|Gaye Barr]].}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I don't see myself leaving this Country, let alone my House, in the near future. Too much work.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Jon Crayon &lt;joncrayon@gmail.com><br />
Yo Chris, loving this epic battle between Collosal Chris-Chan and Slaweel! That Female Dog is finally getting her comeuppance! I drew this fan-art to commemorate the event.<br />
P.S. I hope you take up the bet to draw a beautiful picture in a realistic non-childlike style. I'm sure you got it in you!<br />
<br />
http://i48.tinypic.com/in5puv.jpg}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I love seeing that Female Dog get eviscerated! If only it were real!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Evang7 &lt;evang7@gmail.com><br />
I was reading your Sonichu comics again. There's a lot of characters! I was wondering if you had any backstories developed for these characters:<br />
<br />
-Florance Fisher (Girl from the dating education class)<br />
-Sammy (the time you temporarily became stupid and gained weight)<br />
-Trisha Rosechu<br />
-Mypoe<br />
-That old dude who was sitting in the Destiny Cave for a long time<br />
<br />
Will we ever see any of them again? I'm still waiting for you to need Sammy for a future Skitch like you said you would.}}<br />
{{EmailReply|EVAN CHRISTOPHER GEORGE IS DEAD. HE WAS EXECUTED AND HAD HIS DUCK DRILLED OUT IN CWCVILLE. THIS MUST BE AN IMPOSTOR, DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Evang7 &lt;evang7@gmail.com><br />
Do you use a Mac? Considering your loathing of Microsoft, it would only make sense. How do you like your Mac? Would you recommend it?}}<br />
{{EmailReply|EVAN IS DEAD. IGNORE THIS IMPOSTOR.}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Jon Crayon &lt;joncrayon@gmail.com><br />
Hey Chris. I'm sad to see you retire Chris-Chan Sonichu from the comic at the end of this issue, but that's progress. Good luck with the reboot!<br />
P.S. You should try growing a beard again ;)<br />
<br />
http://i50.tinypic.com/2wpnl8k.jpg}}<br />
{{EmailReply|I like that image! I may grow a beard just like that in the Future!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Email|From: Seka &lt;AkatsukaSeka@live.com><br />
<br />
Hi Chris!<br />
<br />
In the coming months I am attempting to compile a website detailing the kitchens and pantries of various American writers, artists, TV personalities, and other celebrities. If you wish to contribute please take photographs of the inside of your fridge, freezer, and various cabinets and such around your kitchen. It would be very much appreciated. It doesn't matter if it's a little messy or not organized.<br />
<br />
Thank you in advance,<br />
<br />
Seka}}<br />
{{EmailReply|Currently my Fridge is rather empty, as I've been eating a grand amount of food and my Lazy Father won't go buy groceries. I hate him so much!}}<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Template:Mailbag}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_0&diff=126760Sonichu 02010-11-24T03:36:46Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #0<br />
| cover = [[Image:issuezero.jpg|150px]]<br />
| coverdate = 24 November 2004<br />
| began = 3 January 2004<br />
| finishedcomic = 24 March 2005<br />
| pagecount = 45<br />
| episodes = 1-3<br />
| sub-episodes = 1<br />
| previous = n/a<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]<br />
}}<br />
'''''Sonichu #0''''' is the first issue of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s [[Sonichu (comic)|masterpiece]]. At this point, the comic was ''almost'' entirely about [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], although bits of Chris's life still managed to find their way in.<br />
<br />
The "hand-drawn premiere issue" is a special zero issue. In the comics industry, zero issues are used as either a sales-enhancing gimmick or a special preview of work that will not truly begin until issue #1. We're not sure which one Chris was going for.<br />
<br />
The comic consists of Sonichu's first three adventures. In "Sonichu's Origin," the core cast of the series is introduced as Sonichu and Rosechu are created. Then, in "Genesis of the Lovehogs," the two protagonists meet and immediately fall in love. Finally, in "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc," our yellow hero does battle with his first real villain, who but foreshadows the challenges awaiting the hedgehogs in the following issue. Bonus material in ''Sonichu'' #0 includes various advertisements for imaginary Sonichu products, "classic" Sonichu comic strips drawn outside of the narrative of the main comic book.<br />
<br />
Chris began working on ''Sonichu'' #0 by creating the cover on 24 November [[2004]] (although many of the classic strips predate this). He completed the primary story on 15 March [[2005]], although he was inspired by real-life events to return to this work and add the first-ever sub-episode featuring himself.<br />
<br />
==Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"==<br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Sonichu's Origins<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_1 ''Episode 1''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_1{{!}}''Episode 1''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComicP1.htm ''Episode 1''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVmyW9stnYs&amp;feature=PlayList&amp;p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&amp;index=0 ''Episode 1''}}<br />
===Disclaimer Page===<br />
''Sonichu'' #0 features the first instance of the Disclaimer Page, in which Chris draws a squiggly line of insanity around the definitions of [[copyright]] and [[parody]]. This page will bear repeating in every subsequent episode, and is read before every [[Videobook]].<br />
<br />
===Synopsis===<br />
A wild male [[Pikachu]] wanders through a field until he notices catastrophic destruction five "mies" away in [[Station Square]], where the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] is running rampant. He runs to the city, where he finds [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] battling the monster, using the [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic. Perfect Chaos counterattacks, hurling Sonic directly into the Pikachu, with the resulting collision causing the Chaos Emeralds' energy to mingle with that of Pikachu's, releasing a powerful [[rainbow]] into the sky.<br />
<br />
Fifteen miles away, the rainbow touches down in front of the house of Pokémon trainer [[Kel]], whose female [[Raichu]] is caught in the blast. At both endpoints of the rainbow, the Pokémon are transformed into hedgehog-like creatures. Kel discovers that her Raichu is now pink, standing upright, wearing a red dress, and capable of human speech. She remarks that this new species of Pokémon is "as pretty as a rose," and thus coins the name [[Rosechu]].<br />
<br />
The former Pikachu awakens from the collision with Sonic and, failing to notice his transformation, joins Sonic in the battle against Perfect Chaos. His thunder attack defeats the monster, and the gathering crowd mistakes him for Sonic (who has now departed) as they cheer him on. Later, after considering his new role in the universe, he names the species he has evolved into "Sonichu", in honor of his brief ally.<br />
<br />
==Introductions==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Introductions / Genesis of the Lovehogs<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_7 ''Episode 2''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2{{!}}''Episode 2''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComicP4.htm ''Episode 2''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os-nNkWnNpo&amp;feature=PlayList&amp;p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&amp;index=1 ''Episode 2''}}<br />
Cartoon CWC takes some time out of the thrilling saga of Sonichu to provide exposition about key elements of the upcoming stories, with profiles on [[CWCville]], Sonichu, Rosechu, Kel, [[Naitsirhc]], [[Black Sonichu]], the [[Chaotic Combo]], and [[Flame the Sunbird]]. Chris hints at the significance of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Saramah Rosechu]], and [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and briefly mentions the villains of the series: [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]]. The greatest attention is given to Christian himself and the fact that [[Love Quest|he needs a girlfriend]].<br />
<br />
==Episode 2: "Genesis of the Lovehogs"==<br />
[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|thumb|"Mine, and '''THE FIRST''' romantic attempt, and I did an [[Lie|''AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB'']]"....]]<br />
[[Sonichu]] is wandering through the forest. A week has passed since he was forcefully evolved by the power of the Chaos Emeralds, and he has found that in his larger form he cannot receive adequate subsistence from the diet of a [[Pikachu]]. He is also overcome with a newly found sense of loneliness, being the only [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in existence--at least, insofar as he is aware.<br />
<br />
Just then Sonichu notices [[Rosechu]] standing by a stream. He is instantly attracted to this similar species of hedgehog, and quietly stalks her as she returns to her home. Lurking in the bushes, Sonichu sees that Rosechu lives with her trainer, [[Kel]], and decides that he can beg this person for food.<br />
<br />
Inside, Rosechu complains of her own loneliness. Kel generously offers her [[Dragonite]] for [[Hanky-Panky|companionship]], but Rosey dismisses the idea, since a Dragonite's cock is too big for even her own gaping slot. Just then Rosechu answers a knock at the door to find Sonichu panhandling for change. Immediately smitten, she aggressively pulls him into the cabin and has Kel cook them dinner. <br />
<br />
Within a few days, Sonichu and Rosechu are inseparable. One night, while staring at the moon out by the lake, they interlock tails and share their first kiss, in the first of many heartwarming love scenes. <br />
<br />
Given [[Christian]]'s own [[Love Quest|inability to get laid]], "Genesis of the Lovehogs" provides fascinating insight into how he believes romance is supposed to work: Boy sees girl, boy stalks girl for five minutes, girl wants to have sex with boy the second she lays eyes on him.<br />
<br />
===Advertisement 1===<br />
The first of many [[parody]] ads appears between Episodes 2 and 3; this particular ad is for two ill-fated Sonichu games for Game Boy Advance: ''[[Sonichu Advance]]'' and ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]''.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Episode 3: "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_19 ''Episode 3''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_3{{!}}''Episode 3''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComicP10.htm ''Episode 3''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj3872mqS10&amp;feature=PlayList&amp;p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&amp;index=2 ''Sonichu 3''}}<br />
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|THE BUN IS IN YOUR MIND]]<br />
<br />
===Synopsis===<br />
We find Sonichu in [[CWCville Mall]], confronting [[Naitsirhc Giovanni]] riding a [[Zapdos]] that is clutching [[Rosechu]] in its talons. When hostage negotiations [[fail]], the battle is on, and Sonichu briefly recalls how the situation arose.<br />
<br />
Earlier in the day, [[Kel]] took her Pokémon into town to run errands, and allowed Rosechu to go shopping with Kel's credit card. Sonichu was entrusted to restrain Rosey's uncontrollably lavish spending, typical of a female, but he quickly abandoned this duty to please his lover. Later in the food court, the couple visited a fast food restaurant; since Rosechu has lady-parts she could only eat salad, while Sonichu attempted to eat a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Baffler Meal]] and became sick from eating [[pickle]]s. It was at this point that Zapdos ambushed the hedgehogs, capturing Rosey.<br />
<br />
Using standard Pokémon fighting techniques, Sonichu shows up Zapdos with his Sky Uppercut and Mega Kick. For the ''coup de grâce'', Sonichu uses Double Team to confuse Zapdos with mirages of himself; he then uses this diversion to rescue Rosey before his duplicates zap the Zapdos, defeating it. Naitsirhc recalls the Zapdos to its Poké Ball, and swears he will challenge Sonichu again before riding off on a [[Raikou]].<br />
<br />
Since this is Sonichu's first public outing in which he is not mistaken for [[Sonic]], he is heralded as a hero by the people of CWCville. [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] makes his debut as a full-fledged character, and, in his capacity as the city's mayor, congratulates the yellow hedgehog.<br />
<br />
Later, in the first of many segments that break the fourth wall, Christian and Sonichu leave the mall talking about the high quality of this issue of Sonichu, and Sonichu expresses amazement and incredulity when he learns that Christian's obvious talent has not earned him a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Christian drives off to the [[Fashion Square Mall]] to continue his [[Love Quest]], while Sonichu morbidly admires his father's persistence in the face of certain [[fail|failure]]. That a newly-created Pokémon immediately recognized Chris as his "father" is never actually explained.<br />
<br />
===Analysis===<br />
[[Image:SchuComicPage25_detail.jpg|thumb|Gotta Catch 'Em All!]]<br />
Episode 3 is a good example of early [[CWCville]]. Sonichu is just a Mary Sue for Christian to play in a Sonic-inclusive-Pokéworld. Naitsirhc's motivation is that he's ''GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL'' for his gangster father, Giovanni. Contrast this with his later incarnation, [[Reldnahc]], or Chris's enemies in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Classic Sonichu Strips==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Classic Sonichu Strips<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_28 ''Classic Strips''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Classic_Comic_Strips{{!}}''Classic Strips''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP14.htm ''Classic Strips''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_XS09cbMpM&amp;feature=PlayList&amp;p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&amp;index=3 ''Episode 3''}} <br />
Pages 28-34 of this issue feature comic strips drawn throughout [[2004]].<br />
<br />
# 25 years into the future, [[Sonichu]] (now evolved into [[Metonic]]), makes a poor joke while chopping logs.<br />
# Sonichu asks Rosechu how things are going, and she explains she's been busy "being beautiful" but confesses that she hates working so hard at it (which is what all women do). Sonichu demonstrates his amazing ability to listen to women and respect their feelings (hint, hint, YOUNG LADIES) until Rosey calls out [[Black Sonichu]] for stalking them.<br />
# "Christian &amp; Sonichu vs. the Mastermind": [[Christian]] and Sonichu defeat [[Mary Lee Walsh]] with the combined power of Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Sonichu's thunder attack.<br />
# Sonichu and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] rescue [[Barbara Chandler]] from [[Naitsirhc]]. Barbara is depicted characterizing Sonichu as Christian's son.<br />
# [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is beaten up by [[jerkops]], under orders from Mary Lee Walsh. Rosechu can only stand by helplessly, as she lacks a [[pickle|penis]]. Nevertheless, [[Sarhamah Rosechu]] arrives to save Chris, so that he can reassure himself that he is still important in the life of a woman he cannot have sex with. This Sub-[[Sub-Episode]] is later reincorporated into [[Sub-Episode 7]], in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"==<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title =Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_35 ''Sub-Episode 1''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Sub_Episode_1{{!}}''Sub-Episode 1''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP18.htm ''Sub-Episode 1''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxkUuXyv3A&amp;feature=PlayList&amp;p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&amp;index=12 ''Sub-Episode 1''}}<br />
[[Image:Jerkhief_my_soul_hurts.jpg|thumb|MY SOUL HURTS!]]<br />
One year and seven months into [[Christian]]'s [[Love Quest]], he ponders his lack of progress while listening to music on his Nintendo DS. Just then, the enormously fat [[niggos|black]] [[Jerkhief]] towers over Chris, accusing Chris of soliciting sex. Chris is outraged by this insult, and valiantly defends his honor. The Jerkhief summons his [[Jerkops]] to handcuff Chris, but his keen tactical mind allows him to spot his assailant and dodge them, causing a Jerkop to handcuff himself. Chris backhands another Jerkop square in the face, giving him enough breathing room to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Homos|tells everybody to dance now...]]<br />
<br />
The Jerkhief responds by summoning his Metal Armor, and a pitched battle begins. Chris-Chan uses Mega Kick, Double Team, Mirror Coat, and Thunderbolt to disarm the Jerkhief, and honorably offers mercy to his defeated foe. But the Jerkhief is without honor; defiant to the end, he fires a handgun at Chris-Chan, who uses Barrier to deflect the pitiful attack. <br />
<br />
His enemy beaten, Chris decides to unleash his Special Ultimate Attack, the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]. The Jerkhief initially feels no adverse effect and rises to fight back, but the curse soon sets in; he slips on a banana peel, breaks his glasses, and learns that his wife has just divorced him over his smoking habit. The Jerkhief's life is shattered, and Chris makes sure the broken man understands that his has reaped what he sowed. The Jerkhief cries that his soul hurts; Chris [[Chris and his Ego|callously responds that he's suffered worse...]]<br />
<br />
Sub-Episode 1, along with the other Sub-Episodes, is reprinted in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].<br />
<br />
===Advertisement 2===<br />
''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'', coming &lt;s>soon&lt;/s> never exclusively for Nintendo Game Cube! Note that Chris draw most of the Game Cube dress by hand, but likely forgot the "Only for" label and thus had to photoshop it in. <br />
<br />
This ad appeared between the Classic Sonichu Strips and Sub-Episode 1 in the initial release of ''Sonichu'' #0, but moved to the back cover on the more recent [[CWCipedia]] version. This can actually make it difficult to find, since the CWCipedia links are [[autism|frequently broken]]. Ads for ''Sonichu Adventure'' would continue to run in future issues, all the way through to [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:issuezero.jpg|Cover<br />
Image:JargonPage.jpg|Disclaimer Page<br />
Image:Sonichu on Game Boy Advance.jpg|Ad 1: ''Sonichu Advance'' and ''Pokémon: Lightning Version''<br />
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Ad 2 (Back Cover): ''Sonichu Adventure''<br />
Image:SchuComic1.jpg|''Classic Sonichu Strip'', 18 Mar 2004<br />
Image:130-CChanComicStrip.jpg|''Classic Sonichu Strip'', 5 Dec 2004<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}<br />
*[[Sonichu (comic)]]<br />
*[[Sonichu (character)]]<br />
*{{c|Sonichu 0 Cover Parodies}}<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Monthly_tugboat&diff=126759Monthly tugboat2010-11-24T03:36:35Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{taxpayermoney}} <br />
<br />
{{quote|Yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than [[sonichu.com]]|Chris to [[Miyamoto]], complaining about how long his free money is taking}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|right|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]<br />
<br />
The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris's]] [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month&lt;ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]&lt;/ref>. Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his parents instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.<br />
<br />
Currently, Chris receives $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.&lt;ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&lt;/ref>&lt;ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]&lt;/ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statementa &lt;ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]&lt;/ref>&lt;ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]&lt;/ref>, at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.<br />
<br />
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.&lt;ref>[[Mailbag 34]]&lt;/ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].<br />
<br />
[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.autisticchild.org/autism-statistics This is true.]]]<br />
<br />
On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.<br />
<br />
Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was 18, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.&lt;ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html&lt;/ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].<br />
<br />
If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].<br />
<br />
In the [[Father Call|father call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out". Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.<br />
<br />
Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that his fat ass will live anywhere near that long.<br />
<br />
==References by Chris==<br />
*The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.<br />
*An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.<br />
*During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.<br />
*In [[Mumble 1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.<br />
*In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.<br />
*Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat," possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]] he refers to it as his "monthly income," while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34]].<br />
*The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]] shine a light on the origin of the term:<br />
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink.]] and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] [[Autism|thinking]]. :)|Chris, demonstrating mastery of metaphor and analogy}}<br />
<br />
In one of the [[Jackie_Chat_7|Jackie chat logs]] he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare :<br />
<br />
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.&lt;br><br />
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life.&lt;br><br />
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded...&lt;br><br />
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval.&lt;br><br />
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ???&lt;br><br />
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then?&lt;br><br />
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense&lt;br><br />
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help&lt;br><br />
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit.&lt;br><br />
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.&lt;br><br />
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Autism]]<br />
* [[Chris and money]]<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC_is_Sad&diff=126758CWC is Sad2010-11-24T03:36:33Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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"'''CWC is sad'''" (officially "'''11112009'''") is a video uploaded on 10 [[November 2009]] in which Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) cries over the marriage of [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Kacey]], showing an intense amount of [[stress]]. He's also understanding and calm, which is quite strange considering he had just recently drawn a comic explicitly depicting himself [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting his unarmed romantic rival]] barely days before. This is obviously an attempt at sympathy from Kacey. The effect is somewhat ruined when Ian gets her name wrong at the end, calling her "Katey".<br />
<br />
It would seem Ian has done something to fix his [[PSEye]], as the reduced picture quality is more in line with the videos filmed with that camera rather than the one he started using in [[For Kacey II]], and only an occasional skip is heard in the audio. He is also wearing the same shirt that he drew himself wearing in [[Sonichu Special 4]], which was leaked on 8 November 2009. Given [[Chris and health|Solid Chris's hygiene]] and the events of the preceding several days, it's not entirely out of the question that he wore that shirt for almost a week.<br />
<br />
Note that Ian prefaces this video by saying that Kacey hung up on him before he could tell her any of this. If he is referring to the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], then the reality of the situation is that he hung up on Kacey moments before she could officially break up with him, like the dickless loser he is.<br />
<br />
When it first appeared, many trolls wondered whether this video might be a sign that Ian had finally been "broken." As it turned out, this was not to be the case, for a contrived moment of pure luck was enough to give Ian's [[Heart level|shattered heart]] a speedy recovery, and Ian popped up on YouTube again just [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a day later]] with a copyright certificate for ''[[Sonichu]]'', showing no signs that his breakup with Kacey had any lasting effect.<br />
<br />
== Video ==<br />
<br />
&lt;center><br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = 11112009<br />
| image = {{#ev:youtube|7OK4ewK2ewc}}<br />
| Stardate = 10 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
| Performance Style = [[Image:Tragedy.png]] Tragedy<br />
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Dangerstripeshirt.PNG]] DangerStripe<br />
| previous = [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]<br />
| next = [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]<br />
}}<br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
[''close up on Ian's face, which reveals that his expression is grim, and he [[sigh]]s before beginning to speak'']<br />
<br />
Well, Kacey, I... just letcha know... because you hung up when I was, was trying to say it....<br />
<br />
[''a short intake of breath: he is trying not to cry'']<br />
<br />
I'm sorry for hurting you and mistreating you, but, this, is a lot, it's some...—I's...mixed it with honest truth... uhh.. but, you know, it's fine....<br />
<br />
[''Ian chokes back another sob'']<br />
<br />
If you feel that [[CChanSonichuCWC|your Chris]] will make you happy, it's fine. Congratuwations on your wedding. I wish you and Chris all the happiness in the world. [''sob''] I'll say... I'll say a prayer for you, for a lovely wedding and a safe honeymoon....<br />
<br />
[''Ian sniffles repeatedly, followed by several sighs, obviously on the verge of breaking down'']<br />
<br />
At least I... I care about you, Kacey. You mean...a lot to me. [''sniffle''] For more...[[China|more than just a friend]]. You have every right to be happy. <br />
<br />
[''another long pause, sniffles, sighs'']<br />
<br />
I guess I'll see you around, or hear or talk to you again or...... I guess.<br />
<br />
[''Ian sings briefly.'']<br />
<br />
"It's another day..."<br />
<br />
But anyway, take care of yourself. Stay safe. God bless you. You're a sweet gentle caring person, tender loving care, [[Fail|Katey]]. I love you.<br />
<br />
[''Ian looks up and away, and the video ends.'']<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]|nextlink=[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]|}}<br />
{{Sweetheart Videos}}<br />
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Michael_Snyder&diff=126757Michael Snyder2010-11-24T03:36:27Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris being Chris]]}}<br />
{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|thumb|Michael Snyder, the dirty &lt;s>Jew&lt;/s> gentile.]]<br />
[[image:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael]]<br />
<br />
'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born 1955 or 1956&lt;ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]&lt;/ref>) is the [[manajerk|manager]] (but not owner)&lt;ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&amp;A]]&lt;/ref> at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the hero responsible for banning [[Chris]] from the store. According to Chris, he hated his guts. It's easy to see why.<br />
<br />
Although Chris had [[Apology to Game &amp; Hobby Place|fumblingly attempted to apologize]] to Michael in a video in March 2009, his clumsy facade of contrition is not difficult to see through; it is, in reality, not contrition but ''attrition''! In his [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] video, Chris still clearly harbors resentment towards being banned, at one point adding the following annotation:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.}}<br />
<br />
This further confirms that, in Chris's eyes, anyone who makes Chris angry or doesn't give him what he wants must be a [[troll]].<br />
<br />
==Chris's anti-Semitism== <br />
[[File:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|[[racism|Chris's beliefs]],&lt;br>all summed up in one poster.]]<br />
On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into the GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.<br />
<br />
Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder" , it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself, rather like Al Pacino, whom you see up there, is a goy.<br />
<br />
In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris links Michael to a conspiracy he believes the Greene County school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", greed being a another Jewish stereotype, and wishes him to hell together with the trolls. Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".<br />
<br />
[[Matthew_Noble_call|In an August 2010 phone call]], we learned that Bob and Snorlax believe Michael Snyder(Along with Megan, Lucas, and Mimms) to have been the original troll. They are convinced that Michael, along with Megan and some homosexuals(likely [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), conspired to ban Chris from the GAMe PLACe for being autistic. Said conspiracy goes on to blame Michael for every stupid thing Chris did in the last few years, going so far as to accuse him of breaking into Chris's checking account and stealing his credit card around the beginning of the month.<br />
<br />
== Chris attempts murder ==<br />
{{main|6 June 2010}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|Michael in a YouTube comment}}<br />
<br />
==Mike's opinion of Chris==<br />
Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several YouTube comments.<br />
{{quote|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder|Comment&lt;ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU]&lt;/ref>}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]<br />
*[[Daniel Mimms]]<br />
*[[Lucas]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]<br />
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734463986&amp;ref=search Facebook]<br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category: Manajerks]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=LittleBigPlanet&diff=126756LittleBigPlanet2010-11-24T03:36:23Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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{{taxpayermoney}} <br />
<br />
[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]<br />
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, successful, handsome, wealthy and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]<br />
<br />
'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.<br />
<br />
While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[lie|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an LBP spokesman, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.<br />
<br />
==Chris and LBP==<br />
<br />
[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]<br />
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Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.&lt;ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]&lt;/ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones.<br />
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The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the ''LBP'' level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...<br />
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The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.<br />
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Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Sonichu|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts. <br />
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In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)<br />
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==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==<br />
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Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.<br />
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Sony Europe pulled his [[Sonichu]] levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furor was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.<br />
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Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.<br />
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===On costumes===<br />
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]<br />
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]<br />
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Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.<br />
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{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.<br />
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Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.<br />
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Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.<br />
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I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.<br />
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Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page <br />
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}<br />
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Sony has, of course, not responded.<br />
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==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==<br />
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: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''<br />
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{{incomplete}}<br />
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Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.<br />
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Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have a mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'. <br />
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===Sonichu Level===<br />
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]<br />
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Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''<br />
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The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.<br />
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The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.<br />
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TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.<br />
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===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===<br />
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Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eight times.<br />
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===Sonichu costume===<br />
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Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.<br />
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===PS3 History Level===<br />
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{{main|PS3 History Level}}<br />
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This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the Sonichu level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.<br />
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The real purpose of this level is advertising his "wonderful" recreations of the PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.<br />
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Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.<br />
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===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===<br />
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Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.<br />
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Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).<br />
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===First Date Level===<br />
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Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS|extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.<br />
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He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.<br />
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The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|To Jackie, with Love]].<br />
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===Metal Speed Solid===<br />
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Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!<br />
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===Rescuing Kacey===<br />
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Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid- just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?<br />
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The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.<br />
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===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===<br />
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]<br />
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"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and the mysterious sweetheart [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain electric hedgehog Pokémon. Chris promised a full version, though judging by Chris's previous track record and the fact that Chris's relationship with the Wallflower came to end as a direct result of the release of the level preview, the full level will likely not be completed. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].<br />
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==Sauces==<br />
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&lt;references/><br />
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==External links==<br />
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*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]<br />
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{{Game Videos}}<br />
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[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]<br />
[[Category:Sony]]<br />
[[Category:PS3]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Matthew_Nobles_call&diff=126755Matthew Nobles call2010-11-24T03:36:14Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://upezobyxez.co.cc This Page Is Currently Under Construction And Will Be Available Shortly, Please Visit Reserve Copy Page]=<br />
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[[File:127539439799.jpg|thumb|Soon at a GAMe PLACe near you]]<br />
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On 10 [[August 2010]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], posing as Matthew Noble, a [[GAMe PLACe]] employee, called [[Bob Chandler]] and discussed [[Chris's]] encounter with [[Michael Snyder]] in [[June 2010]]. <br />
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The phone call is enlightening as it reveals a number of things concerning Bob and his views of Chris and those he talks to. These include that he never knew of the trespassing incident in June and that, for some unknown reason, he believes Chris's trolling incidents are a conspiracy based in the GAMe PLACe, with the help of some [[homos|gays]] (probably Eric and Tito&lt;ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism and homophobia]]&lt;/ref>). He also reveals that Chris has been having some [[Best Buy|credit card troubles]] and is blaming the vast [[100 2178|Greene County conspiracy]] to cover his own ass. <br />
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The call put Bob in a less sympathetic light in the eyes of most trolls as he's revealed to be just as delusional as his son. <br />
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==Transcript==<br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Hello?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Uh, hello, is this Robert Chandler?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Yes?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Hello?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Who is this?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Hi, hi, Mr. Chandler. Hi, my name is, uh, Matthew Nobles, I think you just tried to call me back, I left you a message?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Y-yes, what-what's your problem?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well um, actually um I wanted to talk to you about something. Um, I'm an employee at the GAMe PLACe. Uh, I apologize for calling you so long after the incident occurred but, uh, given your son's continued harassment of our store I felt we needed to speak to you-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> The uh- the gaming place now? Uhh...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> The GAMe PLACe.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> This place down town? By the Omni?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Correct. Correct.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Ok... Ok... Now what's- What's-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> What's the problem?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well um, I'm sure you're aware of uh, the little incident your son, ah, Christian had when he came to our store, um, early in June. Um-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> I didn't know he had been to your store [[6 June 2010|early in June.]]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> When he attempted to ge-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> I knew he-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Oh, you were unaware of-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> He- I knew he, uh, had some, a lot of problems with you people several years ago. [Matthew attempts to answer, Bob continues over him]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew'''&lt;/font> [Interrupted]: Well, uh, what happened was&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob'''&lt;/font> [Continuing]: When you basically kicked him out and everything else for no reason of his own.&lt;br> <br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> [In the background]: And his mother.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> And his mother. And exfverybody else. I don’t really like your place, now what’s it gon- I didn't know he'd been there in June. Now tell me about this.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well, basically what happened was he came in, he wanted to talk to our manager, Mike, about getting himself unbanned. Um, Mike refused to speak with him about the matter.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well, I think that's the Mike that threw him out. Mike's been [[Kick the autistic|persecuting him for years]] and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. Now what happened in June?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> [Interrupts] Bob?(?)&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew'''&lt;/font> [Interrupted several times]: Well, Sir the point is that- Sir, I... Sir. Well after he left, uh, when he couldn't get himself unbanned, he came back several days later and was taking pictures of people in the store-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> [[Chris and the law|Well that's not illegal!]]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Um, one of the patrons... He... Some people felt that he was threatening them, to be honest. One woman said that he was taking [[Pedofork|pictures of her son]]. I don't know if that's true or not, but uh, Mike was there and he became angry and called the [[Jerkops|police]] because your son was trespassing&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well he hadn't told them he- didn't come in there, it's a business place. Now, Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years. Ok, I don't like Mike. I would like to talk to the owner of the store. I could really tell him about the [[Niggos|people]] he employs there. Ok, I could tell him a lot.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb'''&lt;/font> [In the background]: Megan lied.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Sir... Well, regardless of that sir, I don't know about any of that all I know is that your son was banned from the store and he trespassed&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob'''&lt;/font> [Talking over Matthew]: Well regardless of that, that all figures within to this stuff. That all figures into this stuff. It certainly shouldn't and what should- It certainly should-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well that certainly- But I just called to- Sir I called to inform you- I called to inform you that even though the police came and made your son sign a trespassing notice that he continued to harass our store online. That's what I called to inform you of.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well he probably- People are harassing him from all over the world! Let me tell you something fella, you know what some damn crazy fools that I think started at your store with Megan, and Mike, and two or three more. You know what they just did a week ago? They just broke into his [[Money|checking account]], got his checking account numbers and routing numbers they- they broke into his Best Buy MasterCard number, and they stole his ID, and- and all of his uh... Password information they went into that Best Buy checking account, trying to ruin his credit, and made a payoff on a check that had no funds in the checking account. Which got him a whole bunch uh- of of non-sufficient fund fees. Now this all transpired a week ago. Now I'm not going to listen to your petty stuff, OK? You have people including Mike, and I can tell you two [[Lucas|more]] [[Mimms|names]], but I can't think of 'em right now but the third one is Megan. And I'm sure you've heard of Megan or know Megan, right there in the store.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I've heard about Megan. Sir, I don't understand why you're not concerned about your son trespassing&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> They're the people that are terrorizing Christian! They're the people that are [[Twin_Falling_Towers|terrorizing]] Christian! Ok?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> This really has nothing to do with the GAMe PLACe, sir. I just called to inform you about your son trespassing.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> It has something to do with the GAMe PLACe because that's the pla- Well you're from the GAMe PLACe, right?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Sir, the GAMe PLACe didn't break into his bank accounts. I don't know why you're telling me about this.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well, we think that people that come to your place do, including one of your employees named [[Manajerk|Mike]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well, we don't control all of our customers.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Including one of your employees named Mike. Now, if you would like to have me talk to your owner I would be glad to- and my wife would be glad to go to a meeting with him about your place and how it's [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|corrupting]] the whole neighborhood!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I kind of doubt that Mike himself is the guy that broke into your son's account. I kind of doubt that, sir. I just called to inform you that your son trespassed. Sir, your son was banned from the store and he came back and told me to-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> No but he and Megan and that group- Fine! [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible Reconciliation|Send us a letter!]] Send us a letter! Send me a letter, sir! Ok? I don't know who you are. Do you work for the store?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Well I know tha- I overheard that the police, when he was talking to the police I overheard him say that he was very adamant that he didn't want you to be told about this. He wanted his- said something about his [[Rocky|counselor]].&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well- Do you work for the store?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Yes I do sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Do you work for the store? Can you answer the question?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I just said that I do, sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> I beg your pardon?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> W-What question sir? I missed your question, sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Do you work for the GAMe PLACe?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I just answered that, sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> No you didn't. Do you work for the GAMe PLACe?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I said, "Yes I do, sir." I answered that three times in a row.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Ok, what is your position at the GAMe PLACe?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I'm an employee of theirs, sir. I'm a supervisor.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> You're a supervisor. Now what does that exactly mean? That mean you're a shift manager?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> ...Yes.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Yes, ok. Now, will you tell me the owner's name, or do I have to subpoena it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Sir... Sigh... look, I'm- honestly, I'm getting a little tired of this, sir. I'm just calling to inform your son trespassed and he's gonna [[Diary#July_2005|get arrested]]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well, sir, I'm getting a little tired of your place. Ok? I don't want to be harassed by your place.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Fair enough. We don’t like your son harassing us.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> You left me a pretty threatening message on the thing to start with. On my telephone.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> What? Sir, I left a message saying I had a sensitive matter to discuss with you. How is that threatening?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Yeah, but it was your tone of voice and attitude.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Sir, I didn't have an attitude. I was perfectly polite.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Oh, no. No, no you weren't.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> Get his name.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I don't know how to disagree with that, sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> How do you spell your last name? How do you spell your last name?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Nobles. N-O- Sir. This isn't threatening. I feel that it was irresponsible of us not to inform Christian's parents. That’s why I called. To inform you about his trespassing.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Well... Just wait a minute now.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> He wanted us to talk to his counselor instead.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> 'Cause when was he told- N-O-B-E-L or N-O-B-L-E?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I wasn't there the initial time years ago when he was banned, sir. All I know is he was there when um-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Is it N-O-B-E-L or N-O-B-L-E?&lt;br><br />
[Pause]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> Sir...&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Sir! How do you spell your last name?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I'm- I really don't feel like answering these questions, sir. You're giving me the third degree for no-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> You can- you can answer a simple question. Well you- You told me your name, now how do you spell it?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> You've been yelling at me this entire time, sir. I don't feel like, frankly giving you my name-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Just spell your name and I won't yell at you!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> You were not yelling! [Inaudible]&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> That’s a rather... silly... requirement, sir.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> He's not yelling at you!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> I'm just trying to talk-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> Spell your last name!&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> He has been yel-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> Spell your last name! Hey! Who're you?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#FF0000">'''Matthew:'''&lt;/font> [Sigh] I've already given my name. I'm-&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> You have not! What is your first name?&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#3300FF">'''Bob:'''&lt;/font> Noble is his last name. I don't know how you spell it.&lt;br><br />
&lt;font color="#66FF00">'''Barb:'''&lt;/font> Ma- Matthew Noble. N-O-B-E-L. What's your phone number? [REDACTED] That's a weird number. OK now, what is it you want? 'Cause it sounds like eh- You're- You're lookin' to try to uh- uhm- uh- Harass us and get something out of us. And we don't want nothing to do with you. [Bob says "like that again" and "GAMe PLACe" loudly in background, possibly yelling at Chris] 'Cause you- Just because you- I don't know wha- if you work at the GAMe PLACe or not. I can't see you, I'm not down there. And yo-&lt;br><br />
[Cuts off abruptly]&lt;br><br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<br />
&lt;references/><br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?0qocazgbb2qbp7m Audio download]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jW_zAAKBxw YouTube]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]</div>Imegyvadovhttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jimmy_Hill&diff=126754Jimmy Hill2010-11-24T03:36:12Z<p>Imegyvadov: </p>
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=[http://eludevyvema.co.cc UNDER COSTRUCTION, PLEASE SEE THIS POST IN RESERVE COPY]=<br />
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=[http://eludevyvema.co.cc CLICK HERE]=<br />
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{{quote|Think Once, Think Twice... Think Bike!!!|Jimmy Hill, valiantly teaching road safety to his Sonichu fans&lt;ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWC8HVDD6AU Think Bike! video]&lt;/ref>}} <br />
'''Jimmy Hill''' (full name '''James William Thomas Hill, [[Wikipedia:Order of the British Empire|OBE]]''') is the true original creator of [[Sonichu]], whom he devised after a two year prison term resulting from selling counterfeit Warner Brothers merchandise.<br />
==The Legend==<br />
[[Image:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|200px|This man could kill you with just his chin.]]<br />
[[Image:Silentjhill.jpg|thumb|150px|Jimmy Hill's last big seller.]]<br />
Hill envisioned Sonichu as the first openly [[gay]] cartoon character (unlike the closeted Tinky-Winky and Spongebob characters). Hill's achievement won him almost instant fame among sympathetic London tabloids, who were quick to capitalize on Sonichu fever. A promotional offer ended with Hill selling millions of die-cast Sonichu figurines to loyal fans in the European Union. The equally engaging ''Sonichu'' television show has grossed additional millions, augmenting Hill's already bursting coffers.<br />
<br />
Despite all his wealth and fame, Hill has remained true to the mission of Sonichu, which is to spread homosexuality among children as young as six years of age. Hill has been quoted as saying "Sonichu is like a televised friend. You can turn to him for support when you are questioning your own feelings for the opposite sex. I think that kids are just wonderful, and they should know from a very early age that homosexuality is a wonderful, beautiful, and beneficial variant of sex".<br />
<br />
Hill's future plans include a line of Sonichu necklaces and pendants for millions of women who desire them, as well as hand-drawn Sonichu comic books, which Hill hopes will bring him additional profits.<br />
<br />
July 2009, he announced on his website:<br />
&lt;div style="font-family:verdana; font-size: 18px; margin-top:40px; text-align:left;background-color:#ffffec; border:1pt solid #999999;padding:10px"><br />
&lt;big><br />
&lt;center>*** Jimmy Hill has retired ***&lt;/center>&lt;/big>&lt;br/><br />
<br />
He has made so much money now that it's time to pass on the flame. From now on the one TRUE creator and distributor of Sonichu merchandise can be found here:<br />
<br />
<br />
&lt;center>http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC&lt;/center><br />
<br />
<br />
&lt;center>All other Sonichu Merchandise is FAKE.<br />
<br />
&lt;/center><br />
<br />
Thanks to the millions of Sonichu fans around the world for all of their support!<br />
&lt;/div><br />
<br />
==Sonichu Anime? How KAWAII!==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:Anime1.jpg|Image from the extremely popular Sonichu anime, which is the hottest show in Europe.<br />
Image:Anime2.jpg|"Sonichu, as your TRUE ORIGINAL CREATOR I command you to ZAP that wanker!"<br />
Image:Anime3.jpg|Sonichu, the first openly gay children's cartoon character who is truly an inspiration to us all. <br />
Image:Anime4.jpg|Oh no, it's the evil Chris-Chu!<br />
Image:Sonichuanimeclip3593.gif<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==Sonichu is popular. In Europe. Srsly.==<br />
&lt;center>&lt;gallery><br />
Image:Sonichuadvertnw4.jpg|The ad that started it all.<br />
Image:Viz-advert812.jpg|AND LOOK, IT'S IN A REAL MAGAZINE SO THEREFORE IT MUST BE REAL. TOTALLY NOT PRINTED OUT AND INSERTED ON TOP OF AN EXISTING PAGE.<br />
Image:Article-sonichu-71.jpg|Only in today's Europe can a man who was guilty of copyright infringement create such a brilliant and lovable gay children's character!<br />
Image:Dailymailarticlebo4.jpg|Even the Daily Mail can't help but cover Sonichumania in Europe.<br />
Image:Boxes633.jpg|Boxes of the #1 best selling DVD in the UK ''[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV! - Jimmy Hill's Life Story]]''<br />
Image:Dvdrack2ed3.jpg|Within seconds, all of the Jimmy Hill DVDs were sold out.<br />
Image:JimmyHillLogo.jpg|Unlike Chris, Jimmy Hill was definitely on the [[honor roll]].<br />
Image:Sonichu Comic Issue 1.jpg|Look familiar? That's because Chris STOLE Mr. Hill's brilliant cover for his [[Sonichu 0|own use]]<br />
Image:Xbox game small.jpg|The video game!<br />
&lt;/gallery>&lt;/center><br />
<br />
==The Truth==<br />
James William Thomas Hill OBE (or "Jimmy" Hill as he's affectionately called by his millions of [[Sonichu]] fans) (born 22 July 1928) is an ex-English football (''soccer'', for you Americunts) player and BBC sports commentator who, unlike some [[Chris|faggots]], went out and was fairly successful. Indeed, he was nominated for Mustache of The Year Award several times over the years. To this date, he has never once interacted with [[Chris|the autistic wonder]]; but as Chris's [[fail]] grows...<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
&lt;references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Sonichu.net]]<br />
*[[Trolls]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://sonichu.110mb.com The OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL Jimmy Hill's Sonichu Site!]<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Jimmy Hill|Wikipedia article on Jimmy Hill]]<br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hill, Jimmy}}<br />
[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]</div>Imegyvadov