CWCki - User contributions [en]

Template:Da update

2012-04-13T13:54:33Z

Inos: Come on guys, he lost his virginity. It's a fact. Beyond that is up for debate but not this.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*8 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris finally lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]: Chris planned to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*12 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris' [[Facebook|status updates]] are leaked.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T23:17:10Z

Inos: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

==Three videos from the 12th==
Why are they not here? We have Chris singing, Chris out in public with actual sunlight, and making a dumb as fuck comment, that is what an update is, my friends. You may be saying "But Champthom, why haven't you?" and I say to you "NO U!" Seriously, stuff should go on this template first before it ends up on the CWChronology. Srsly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 15 July 2009 (CEST)

==Gardening==
Did a little gardening by removing a few of the posts from this template. It was taking up quite a bit of room on the main page.

Remember to add to both [[Da Update]] and the corresponding month and vice versa, sometimes this doesn't happen. [[User:Granola|Granola]] 02:11, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

== Da update versus CWCipediaTracker ==

People, please, given the status of the CWCipedia, all CWCipedia related updates belong in the [[:Template:CWCipediaTracker|CWCipedia Tracker]] whereas things like new videos, leaked material, etc. belong here in Da update.

Seriously, I am disappoint. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:36, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
* I think a lot of that is my fault. I didn't understand the difference; I assumed they overlapped. Sorry about that. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:17, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

== A book? ==

Chris is seriously writing a book? That can't be true. Also, he mentions that one of his "gal friends" is helping him write it. This has got to be one of Chris's lies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:04, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Maybe he's getting over ''Sonichu'' even if he promised a super-duper issue for the tenth anniversary of the Fail-Comic. As far as the "Lady-Friend" goes, we saw her in a previous video. (Hint; she's inflatable). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:31, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:::I feel sorry for [[Kimmi]]. She is always dragged into Chris's bullshit and she is unable to object to it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
*Guys, [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Stuff like this doesn't belong here. There's other places to discuss this like [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/25081.html this Krapple thread] or something like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== It should be obvious but ==

Only Chris related updates belong here.

Shit like [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] can go on the [[Fan:Index]].

Srsly, don't pull this shit again or else someone is getting banned. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== Important something which I will delete in a minute ==
Damnit, how do I get to the cwcipedia tracker? Mailbag 60 is up. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*I got it covered. In future, when you edit the main page, it'll give a link to the templates used on the main page at the bottom. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:08, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Suggested Update==
Someone added Sydney getting busted to the months events, so did we want to add it here?

Suggestion: In a rare win for Chris, the manchild identifies and shoots down a [[Sydney Contacts|troll]] based off information garnered from the troll forums.

--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:45, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I assume that you told nobody of your plan to pose as a girl with the intent of getting him to answer the Mailbag again. It wasn't any moment of clarity, he just had you mixed up with Jackie.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:07, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I am firmly 'No Comment'ing anything that relates to how, precisely, Sydney's cover was blown. Sorry mate. If you are desperate to know, you should know where to go to ask. PS <3 your rambles, FYI. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:04, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

== 17 June ==

Chris just returned to Twitter. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:04, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

:Is there a reason you're putting this on the talk page instead of the actual template? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 01:30, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
::<del>Template's locked.</del> Now for some reason it's open again. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:32, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== Template locked ==

For the mall waiting video I think we should take the 'money' part out to avoid suspicion and revert it to 'unknown reason'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:20, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Why? I thought CWCki was against censorship. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 17:27, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**You need to unlock the template... [[Clyde_and_Tito_PS3_E-mails]] needs to be added...
**If we show that we know what Chris was waiting for, it could harm a very promising saga. I thought this was one of the things that we would keep quiet for now until it's safe to let Chris know that we be trollin'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 23:42, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
***Ohh... I see. I GUESS that makes sense, but the article is definitely on the CWCki and linked from quite a few pages. He might just search for it and find it anyway... but knowing Chris, that's not too likely. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 05:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== I found something. ==

As of now on the Rule 34 Pahael site they have the picture of sailor moon Chris-chan as the featured image. Is this notable? Anyone care? [[User:No.|Written by this person.]] 15:30, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:It's already been uploaded and added to the [[Sailor Moon]] article. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 15:36, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== Is there a reason for a lack of new update notices? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:43, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:I had a stab at it. With so many leaked documents recently, it's easy to forget about da update =) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:06, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Notability and Da update ==

What makes something worthy of being included in Da update? If something's worth mentioning on the [[July 2011|monthly chronology]], wouldn't it also warrant a mention on Da update? I'm thinking specifically of the entry "21 July: Chris reveals his identity in a Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post." from [[July 2011|here]].

== 'Where no shit is too minor.' ==
Why was the phone message update deleted? It was quite relevant if you think about it, as he sounded legitimately unwell. It is worth at least some discussion. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 06:48, 9 December 2011 (PST)
: One word; Liability. I believe there's legal consequences in linking this material here. Now that the Virginian justice system is dealing with Chris, better not putting a lightning rod on top of this site. If Chris is dumb enough to not try to close the CWCki, Rocky is another matter. Download the audio and stash it, just don't post it here. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:53, 9 December 2011 (PST)
::I think he means the answering machine thing. The reason that's not up here is just because it's not "big" enough. Quite a few people only check the CWCki to look at the update. What goes in the update should be big enough to pique their interest. "Chris says he's sick" isn't good enough. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 07:58, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:: What the heck did Griffintown thing he meant? Feel free to say you can't say... but what the heck was up here that would have been considered a 'liability'? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:42, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:::There's an audio file out there with Rocky talking about Chris. It's on the /cwc/ and I thought we were talking about this audio. As far as the answering machine's message goes, it doesn't fit on the update page. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:56, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:We also lack an exact date of when he changed the message. It may have been that way for a while. The liability thing is not an issue - it's more than beyond the scope of the court proceedings. But yeah - the main point is - no shit is to minor re: the CWCki in general - but Da update bulletins are reserved for significant developments, such as the release of new material (by Chris or about Chris from true trolls) or events that involve Chris or a major actor in his life so far. A dry spell for Chris news is not an excuse to lower the bar of what's significant and what isn't. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 9 December 2011 (PST)
I was the one who added the message to the template, and I understand why it was removed. I do apologize. [[User:Interrobang|Interrobang]] 13:26, 9 December 2011 (PST)

== Is this new or not? ==

http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Weston-Chandler/100002534669114

It's most likely a troll account, but I've never seen that picture before. --[[User:R3trogay|R3trogay]] 10:10, 26 January 2012 (PST)
:Either it's Chris or it's someone DELIBERATELY HOARDING CONTENT and then leaking it for no reason. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:21, 26 January 2012 (PST)
*It's the same account that was accredited to be Chris's last time he made one...he just updated the photo for his profile and made a note in september. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 16:43, 26 January 2012 (PST)
**this IS chris however its not going on Da Update because chris DOES read the front page and dont want him to close his FB account [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 05:03, 27 January 2012 (PST)

== Recent events ==

Dear old [[User:MellowColor|MellowColor]], perhaps the simplest of us all, is the first of you to ask the burning question - why isn't the new content, like Facebook and the Lemonade Stand thing, on Da update? Personally, I think these are significant developments that should be notified on Da update. After all, Da update is why most people come here - they'll come to see what's new with Chris. I think we should point out that yes, there is new content and Chris is up to his usual hijinks. Now of course, I understand why people have been reluctant to add it - they're afraid that Chris will see it, and stop posting stuff on Facebook and such. I can see that it'd be imprudent, but should we be concerned with Chris producing content? I personally don't like using the CWCki as a trolling tool, including censoring ourselves in order to get more content from Chris. But that's mostly my opinion though.

So what say you all? Should we perhaps have a [[Wikipedia:Media blackout|media blackout]] of sorts? Should we lock this template until Chris is producing content again? I've thought of adding something along the lines of "This template is currently in lockdown mode, please check Recent changes for up-to-date news" but of course that'll just mean Chris will start checking out Recent updates (though he'd have to go through the effort of picking out what's new). Should we raise the bar on what constitutes an update? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:19, 23 February 2012 (PST)
:I think while Chris is less active, we should lower the bar to a certain extent. It's not that we are desperate for Da Update to be updated all the time - but minor things can sometimes lead up to larger events, so Da Update can also serve as a "heads up" kind of system. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:56, 23 February 2012 (PST)

==EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS==

I'm getting several notificiations a minute about new edits and it's fucking with my down time. Talk it out here or somewhere else rather than just undoing one anothers' edits. Preferably with several minutes between posts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 12:21, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:Those who have access to Chris' Facebook have confirmed that the update is genuine, those who are in a position to confirm it on the ground have confirmed it. What more is required?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:58, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::How was it confirmed, exactly? Did they talk to the girl he fucked? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 13:07, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::All I've seen of confirmation is Cogdev's twitter that the post is legit. I've yet to see a confirmation that Chris actually had sex with anyone, which is how the articles were written. Not to mention that the word of trolls has never been extremely reliable (see Ali Baboo or whatever his name was), it could be a joke for all we know.

::Waiting a few days for more confirmation (if it exists) is a good idea at this point. If no more comes of this, it should probably be left off the CWCki entirely in my opinion. If others disagree or if no confirmation exists that Chris actually had sex, we should write the articles accordingly, i.e. say Chris claims to have had sex, not just assuming that Chris actually told the truth for once. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:12, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:::What form of confirmation would work for you?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 13:31, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::Confirmation from multiple users who have shown to be reliable in the past. Screenshots from other users. An actual picture (as in from a camera) or video of the facebook account or anything harder to fake. Something from the facebook of someone who we know is actually in contact with him, etc. One easily photoshopped picture really isn't much to go on.
::::Hell, Cogs or another admin could come on and tell us to keep it up and then it would stay. But that email from the Gameplace incident didn't go up for quite a while because it wasn't verifiable, this is no different. This is more an ED sort of thing until we get more info. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:56, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::I think you have a good point with the GAMePLACe email. From my understanding, that one didn't come through 'regular' channels, meaning it took longer than normal to verify, but I think having something more to go on would be useful. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::http://twitter.com/#!/cogsdev/status/190273723620794368 There's your confirmation. To be honest the only thing that surprises me about this is that he didn't do it as soon as Bob kicked the bucket.--[[User:GladesPlugin|GladesPlugin]] 14:46, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::Chris actually had sex. That's what the cwcki should say. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 13:45, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::Documented for blatant accuracy son.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 16:08, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::With what I said above in mind, is there any way you can get a screencap that isn't so heavily cropped and/or uses the standard FaceBook font? I think one of the main reasons this has been doubted so far is because it LOOKS fake. All the other FaceBook screencaps have been in a standard format to which this screencap doesn't adhere. If you could get that, I think it would do a lot to assuage peoples' doubts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::Uhh, maybe. But either way, Chris having gotten laid should be cwcki policy from now on. I think I have the authority to do that, right? I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. If not, I'll just find champ or cogs and have them do it. But I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:10, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::If Canine is considered a good enough source (if he isn't he should be) would it be alright for me to revert the relevant edits? Or would people prefer me to wait until a better screenshot is provided? (The old one can always stay up as a placeholder before being replaced by a new one.)[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 14:17, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::: For the record, This is just Chris CLAIMING to have lost his virginity, not actual confirmation of his lost virginity. You can write that Chris CLAIMED to have gotten laid, not that he actually got laid. That's my $.02 --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:31, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::No one's answered my question. Do we have a confirmation from the supposed unlucky woman and her identity is being withheld or are we just taking Chris's word for it? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 14:34, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::I agree with this. That's been the standard on what we do when Chris has said things of this nature in the past. If there's something else that acts as evidence aside from Chris' testimony, I think we should wait until it's released to claim that what he said was actually true. Chris has a tendency to integrate fiction into what he presents as reality. For example, I think it's reasonable to assume that they didn't actually "hit it off from the shared characteristic of being good people". Until we know what's real and what isn't, I don't think we should present any of it as more than what Chris said happened. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:43, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::::Uhh... I don't know. Like, sure, Chris will bullshit things. I'd say that Chris actually got laid. Chris got genuine vaginal sex. I can't verify anything else he claimed. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:50, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::I don't doubt that he did. I don't think you'd be pushing this if you didn't believe it. I think the issue Jesusfish was pointing out with the mention of the GAMePLACe email, and the main issue I have, is that unlike almost everything on the wiki that's presented as fact, there's not yet any physical confirmation that what he said correlates with reality. If there's more, which it would seem there is from your certainty, that's fine, but if it's not publicly available, it doesn't matter if we all agree that everything Chris wrote is true, it's against policy to treat it as fact. To quote the policy:
::::::::::"In order for something to be considered update worthy, it has to be a publicly available media involving Chris. '''While there are many reliable sources who can provide information on Chris, it still does not hold up to encyclopedic standards, which CWCki strives to adhere to.'''" I'm not saying I don't believe you, just that we shouldn't say it's true until we have something that indicates that it is beyond the boasts of the world's least reliable narrator. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 15:08, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::So... the former, then? Cool, thanks for answering. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 15:26, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::Thanks, by the way. It's been bothering me as much as it's been bothering other people and I think it's something that should be cleared up while it's still fresh. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:44, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::I'm really starting to think this is just part of a trolling attempt on Chris and/or the trolls by PVCC. A bunch of users who haven't done anything for years show up and try really hard to get the CWCki to say that Chris got laid, not just claimed to but actually did it. I don't know if there's a policy on the CWCki trolling Chris, but we probably need an admin to step in and give the say either way. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 14:48, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::I'm an admin. Chris had sex. And it's not just that he claimed he had sex. Chris had sex. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:50, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::Scratch that, saw that you have protected pages before, although you've also edited articles trying to troll Chris. Still doesn't make me believe he actually had sex, but whatever, if people want it up and admins say so, it'll go up. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 15:05, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::Using the cwcki as a trolling tool is a really bad habit and I apologize for ever having done that. With that having been said, Chris *has* gotten laid. He's almost gotten laid in the past. He's tried to hire hookers before. He just managed to succeed this time. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 15:24, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::ANGRY VIRGINS IN DENIAL: GENERAL

To be honest, I don't think this issue has been resolved, and I think the continuing reversions is testament to that. It's late and I want to go to sleep. Would it be acceptable to have a short-term compromise until tomorrow and just have the update say that Chris claims to have had sex? —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 16:15, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
No because he did and canine is an admin and said so. --[[User:Inos|Inos]] 16:17, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Template:Da update

2012-04-12T23:12:06Z

Inos: Undo revision 159034 by IThrewTheFrisbee (talk) fuck off, this is a violation of policy. see talk page.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*12 [[April 2012|April]]: Followers of Chris are surprised by the revelation that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]: Chris planned to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*12 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris' [[Facebook|status updates]] are leaked.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T23:08:34Z

Inos: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

Love Quest

2012-04-12T23:04:33Z

Inos: Undo revision 158995 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|You know what? Fuck it.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[Image:Christever Alone.png|thumb|Accurate depiction of Chris.]]

The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. However, he has enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few hedgehogs short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at [[Target]]. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the [[Attraction Sign]] made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her. Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a [[Chris|"lonesome fella"]] can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous [[Attraction Sign|tactics]] and even [[fail|asking his answerer to be his sweetheart]].

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear - in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage - that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) [[fail|still on the internet]]. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Quest Side Quest Completed==
On the 12th April the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:
[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Facebook

2012-04-12T23:03:55Z

Inos: Undo revision 158994 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 02 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

By 14 February 2012, Chris had turned his Facebook account to private and unfindable unless you were already a "friend".

On 31 [[March 2012|March]]/1 [[April 2012]] Chris made another address to trolls.

On the 12th of [[April 2012]] a status message from Chris was leaked in which he declared the loss of his virginity.

==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm
 
There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.
 
Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
</blockquote>

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm
 
When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
</blockquote>

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===
<blockquote>
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm
 
Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.
 
Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
</blockquote>

===What I am looking for in a woman===
<blockquote>
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am
 
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
 
</blockquote>

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===
<blockquote>
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm
 
'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
</blockquote>

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===
<blockquote>
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm
 
I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
</blockquote>

===An Open Note===
<blockquote>
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm
 
I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]
 
The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.
 
You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Chris and sex

2012-04-12T22:59:51Z

Inos: Undo revision 158992 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Practical experience ==
For most of his life Chris has had no sexual experience whatsoever, resulting in him describing himself as a [[virgin with rage]]. However, in [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex outside of his single sexual experience he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]). Given Chris's [[Virgin with rage|complete lack of sexual experience]], whether or not he actually knows what femdom is is anyone's guess.

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, as is evident from the [[IRC (21 January 2009)|chat]] in which he was informed of the rape of [[PandaHalo]] and her ensuing impregnation. Chris's response to hearing about his girlfriend's traumatic ordeal was extremely nonchalant, and at one point during the chat he even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her [[Clyde Cash|rapist]], whom Chris had described as a "good man" for his regret over raping Panda and for his willingness to take care of the rape child. Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref>

Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] this scenario is highly unlikely. Still, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

April 2012

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'''April [[2012]]''' has seen more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident, but on a brighter note it appears Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].

==Events==
*12 April - A leaked [[Facebook]] status update reveals that Chris announced the loss of his virginity on a recent Sunday.
*1 April - Chris writes [[Facebook#An Open Note|An Open Note]] on [[Facebook]].
*3 April - Chris changes his PSN status to "I am Christian" and buys more Vita games.
*5 April - Chris and Barb have another hearing at 1:00 p.m. Trespassing and assault are dismissed, Grand Jury to decide felony hit and run. [[Michael_Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] protection order was granted against both Chris and Barb, potentially equating to [[Chris_and_the_Law|jail time]] if either of them trespass again.
*16 April - Chris and Barbara are scheduled to appear before a grand jury at 9:30 a.m.

{{Timeline}}

Virgin with rage

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Inos: Undo revision 158990 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (no word on the rage)==
On 12th [[April 2012]] a leaked [[Facebook]] message showed that Chris has been bragging about losing his virginity recently.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Duck

2012-04-12T22:56:24Z

Inos: Undo revision 158989 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]], leaked in [[April 2011]], his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Chris also [[Cwcsicle|stuck his duck in the ice]] for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

When he announced the loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Template:Da update

2012-04-12T22:56:02Z

Inos: Undo revision 158988 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

Template:Picture of the now

2012-04-12T22:55:31Z

Inos: Undo revision 158987 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

[[File:virginbreaker.png|300px|left]]
Chris announces that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]. Rejoice, rejoice.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Quote of the now

2012-04-12T22:54:36Z

Inos: Undo revision 158985 by Jesusfish (talk) (By order of based Canine)

{{quote|Oh, I forgot to mention, she Really Enjoyed my [[duck|dick]]; it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame; Her Words.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Facebook|Facebook status]] declaring that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible, the exact source is referenced, and use links appropriately. Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. Finally, don't add commentary to citation part - let Chris's words do the talking.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

User talk:Jesusfish

2012-04-12T19:19:37Z

Inos:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:12, 20 September 2011 (PDT)

No really, stop reverting things because it's not vandalism.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:11, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Seriously, just accept that our little Chris has grown up and move on.[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:18, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

This is confirmed and has been confirmed by all of the CWCki admins. Deal with it nerd.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:19, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

User talk:Jesusfish

2012-04-12T19:19:18Z

Inos:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:12, 20 September 2011 (PDT)

No really, stop reverting things because it's not vandalism.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:11, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Seriously, just accept that our little Chris has grown up and move on.[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:18, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
This is confirmed and has been confirmed by all of the CWCki admins. Deal with it nerd.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:19, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Love Quest

2012-04-12T19:16:10Z

Inos: Undo revision 158964 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Facebook

2012-04-12T19:15:41Z

Inos: Undo revision 158965 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Chris and sex

2012-04-12T19:15:18Z

Inos: Undo revision 158966 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

April 2012

2012-04-12T19:14:50Z

Inos: Undo revision 158967 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T19:14:32Z

Inos: Undo revision 158969 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Duck

2012-04-12T19:14:13Z

Inos: Undo revision 158968 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Template:Da update

2012-04-12T19:13:48Z

Inos: Undo revision 158970 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Template:Picture of the now

2012-04-12T19:13:25Z

Inos: Undo revision 158971 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

Template:Quote of the now

2012-04-12T19:12:59Z

Inos: Undo revision 158972 by Jesusfish (talk) (NOT VANDALISM)

User talk:Jesusfish

2012-04-12T19:11:57Z

Inos:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:12, 20 September 2011 (PDT)
No really, stop reverting things because it's not vandalism.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:11, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

User:Inos

2012-04-12T18:46:45Z

Inos:

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{PVCC}}
{{IRCReg}}
{{BlueSpike}}
</div>
I hate all of you.

User talk:Jesusfish

2012-04-12T18:46:10Z

Inos:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:12, 20 September 2011 (PDT)

Nice job reverting something true, dipshit.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 11:46, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

CWCki:Technical

2010-11-20T06:09:05Z

Inos: /* Default Skin */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of errors, extensions, and technical stuff in general(yes we know about the 500 errors).

== upgraded to 1.16.0 ==

seems like all the obvious stuff is fixed but if there are any missing extensions you need please let me know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 02:39, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==Audio hosting==
Seeing as how some of the audio recordings that we link to on some pages have been removed from their file hosting sites, I was thinking maybe instead of having people download audio we simply host it here CWCiki side. An example of what I am talking about can be found here.[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FDR_speech.ogg] [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:14, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
: This could be doable, but needs server configuration. From user's point of view, it could be a simple matter of converting the files to Ogg Vorbis and uploading them here. Currently, the upload page doesn't accept .ogg files, and files are limited to 7 MB. In order to make the in-browser support work, we'd need the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler OggHandler extension] (which needs ffmpeg and other leet stuff installed on the server as well). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:12, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Apache Module versus CGI==
I've been a long time lurker, but the prevalence of 500 Internal Server Errors has prompted me to register an account. I've lurked and searched the CWCki to see if this has been suggested, but I didn't see anyone bring up this potential solution. So I apologize if I'm offering a redundant suggestion. These error messages seem to suggest to me that the Wiki software is running on CGI. A lot of CGI-related performance issues can be remedied by running PHP via an Apache module, rather than as a CGI binary. The PHP CGI binary is invoked, processes a script, and then shuts down every time a page is requested. Apache modules are continuous, thread safe processes (thread safety can be build dependent). I'm not sure if this hosting provider offers such a configuration option, but it may be worth looking into one that does if this becomes an increasingly prominent issue. FastCGI may be a worthwhile alternative to the current configuration if an Apache module is not an option because of some inherent limitations with Wiki software. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 10:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== 500 internal server error poll ==
Please note what page you received it on and what your action was (view/edit/etc...). [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:25, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*Main Page/View - It happens sometimes when I try going here on a new window. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 18:14, 5 October 2010 (EST)
:*I almost always get it when saving an edit, sometimes when I log in. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:10, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::*Same here.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::*That's actually been happening to me quite a bit, recently. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23, 5 October 2010 (EST)
::::Extra processing and memory is used while saving a page, and since lack of memory is the likely cause of the error - it's unsurprising that you encounter it when doing the above. Implementing global caching would help alleviate server load, as currently every page request from logged in users is generating server processing. Longer pages have more chance of generating the error - as they are larger, and take up more memory while being processed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I'll back up the main page and saving edits. I almost never get them otherwise recently. Sometimes I get them if I try to open a page in a tab. The way I browse, I open links I want to read in tabs in tabs to where I can continue reading the page I'm on without having to come back and remember where I was. The tabs will 500 error about 25% of the time. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 14:22, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
* Got one this morning on the Main page. I didn't do anything in particular other than trying to open it. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:55, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is the CWCki faster now? ==
Is it? Do you get the 500 internal server error still? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's better. Though it still takes a little while to load longer pages after editing, and I've only experienced one error message while searching for some video. It's a good start, though. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:02, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::Yes it's very fast when not doing things like editing/saving pages (as to be expected). The changes made should hopefully mean fewer errors for everyone, and it seems like a much faster article-browsing experience too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:18, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*I still get a lot of 500 Internal Server Errors. Not as many as before but it still happens a noticeable amount. It's as fast as it was before; I don't see any difference. [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 13:26, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*I've only gotten one today. Usually I get at least three.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:35, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
**Okay, today I got bitchslapped by the error when trying to edit that stupid prank call page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:24, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
*I only seem to get 500 errors when requesting pages which are not static (i.e. edit pages, recent changes, histories, diffs). The odd 500 error I get when browsing regular articles tends to be on ones that are subject to a lot of recent edits, such as a new video article. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:52, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

== Default Skin ==

I think we should make Vector the default skin for the CWCki, as MonoBook is pretty dated and Vector gives wikis a very clean appearance. A lot of wikis are adopting Vector for this reason. The layout differences are fairly minor, so it really shouldn't give anyone much trouble by making it the default. Users who really dislike it can still change back to MonoBook in their prefs.

* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main%20Page&useskin=vector Preview Vector on the Main Page]
* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title={{FULLPAGENAME}}&useskin=vector Preview Vector on this page]
Your thoughts please! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:11, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Personally I find Monobook more simplistic and nice, as well as more familiar. But we'll see. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 21:03, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is clunky and confusing. I prefer Monobook. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:38, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Monobook is only used by autistics. Vector should be the new default skin.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 22:09, 19 November 2010 (PST)

User:Inos

2010-11-07T23:54:11Z

Inos:

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{PVCC}}
{{IRCReg}}
{{BlueSpike}}
</div>
People lacking common sense cause me a lot of stress.

User:IceKing

2010-10-20T02:26:14Z

Inos: This is why you should listen to answers to your questions about the cwcki in irc

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{Homosex}}
</div>

Template:Homosex

2010-10-20T02:17:23Z

Inos: simply

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #purple
|box-bg-col= #FFCEFF
|id-bg-col= #FFCEFF
|id-border-col= #FFCEFF
|info-col= #purple
|info-bg-col= #FFCEFF
|info-border-col = #FFCEFF
|id= [[Image:Bandana.png|50px|Homosex]]
|info= '''Homosex''' This user is a homosex and makes eagles cry.}}
<noinclude>[[Category: Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Category:CWCkipedians who are of a homosex nature very simply|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

Template:Homosex

2010-10-20T02:15:38Z

Inos: Best userbox ever.

File:Bandana.png

2010-10-20T02:11:59Z

Inos: Hellas.

Hellas.

User:Inos

2010-09-25T07:09:24Z

Inos: I'm bluespike's number one fan

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{PVCC}}
{{IRCReg}}
{{BlueSpike}}
</div>
Yes, I realize I need to learn what a preview button is.
AHM WORKIN ON IT!

CWC "Boyfriend"

2010-09-25T06:36:23Z

Inos: fixd, vurr simp

[[Image:Prince_(musician).jpg|thumb|Motherfucking Prince, man]]

'''CWC "Boyfriend"''' is a music video "addressed to the WOMEN ONLY" and uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[July 2009]]. This video features a little bit of everything when it comes to Chris's bizarre behavior, including [[I Got A Fish|dancing like a retard]], playing the [[Gitar of Fail]] and other such devices, and a side order of [[Homos|gay bashing]]. He even goes as far to condemn the lifestyle of lesbians. Paper cut outs are used to display Chris's delusions, as well as several recycled drawings.

The video description and annotations reveal that Chris believes that [[Ivy]] killed herself as a result of the cessation in their communications. He blames [[Bob]] for breaking up their relationship — apparently, despite the best efforts of his father and others to reason with him, Chris chose to cling to the delusion that Ivy was not a troll. At that point in the video description Chris also states that "Ivy killed herself on July 200'''8'''", months before Chris ever met her, although this is more than likely just an [[Autism|arseburger]] mistake. At around 2:05, astute [[video game]] fans may notice that Chris-Chan purchased the universally panned, all around shitty ''[[Guitar Hero|Rock Band]]'' ripoff ''Rock Revolution''.

On 29 [[July 2009]], [[The CWCville Library]] uploaded an alternate version of the video, with Chris just dancing and different lyrics.

In [[March 2010]] Chris would also use an extract from this video as part of a [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|desperate plea]] to the [[Wallflower]] to relieve him of his [[Virgin with rage|terrible burden]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC "Boyfriend"
| image = {{#ev:youtube|t-LXcptSc-g}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}
| Shirt = {{BlueTShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[Chris humps his PS3]]
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]
}}</center>

===Description===
{{quotebox|Not only a fulfillment to a blackmail, but Also a Memorial Music Video. Miss. [[Ivy|Ivy O'Niel]] died July, 2008 in suicide from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me. She was a honest, sweet woman. May this video always be a commerative memorial for her always. And to [[Officer Keino|Mr. O'Niel]], I salute your bravery on the Police, although my Detective could not find you on any Precint records, and I offer my deepest condolences for your loss, as I feel it terribly myself. I had to listen to my [[Bob|Meatheaded Father]]'s Scooby-Doo Detective jargon, as well as the Real Detective's jazz. Ivy, I'm sorry for believing my father's crackpot theory and letting it baffle me and my heart. Please forgive me, and rest in peace. I will always have the place for you in my heart. **Also, to clearify: Woman #1 is [[Megan Schroeder]]. Then Ivy's Memorial Woman #2 is [[Blanca|Blanca Wiess]]; Blanca is with a friend in the Lesbian Pic; do not who that girl was. Woman #3 is [[Jessie Ruddy]] Woman #4, or B&W Picture Woman is [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. **[[Monty Python|Spiney Norman; Go after Howard and his Pickle-Suited Cult.** "Dinsdale!"]] Woman #5 is PICTURE ONLY of WHO was supposed to be [[Julie|Julie Milvana]].}}

===Transcript===

''Video opens with Chris in his blue T-shirt, singing.''

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend</poem>
''Chris mimes on the [[Gitar of Fail]].''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me [''[[Megan]]'s photo appears, for no clear reason'']
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend</poem>
''Drawing of [[Ivy]] and [[Luckett]].''
<poem>You’re so fine [''Photograph of two women'']
I want you mine
You’re so delicious [''Images from "[[Sonichu Special 1]]", "[[Wedding Comic]]"'']
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hells Yeah
I’m the motherfucking prince, man
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right</poem>
''Photo of unknown woman with unknown man.''
<poem>He’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better [''Man's photo is replaced with one of Chris'']
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!</poem>
''Polaroid of a couple.''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like a girlfriend!
No way! No way!That' ain't right, woman! [''Polaroid shifts to reveal caption "[[Homos|GIRL-ON-GIRL?!!]]", which changes to "GOD HATES THAT"]
No way! No way!
I could be your boyfriend</poem>
''Chris on the Gitar again.''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Photo of lesbian couple is now split in two - caption "[[STAY STRAIGHT]]"]
I know that you like me
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Chris interposed between lesbians - caption becomes "TAKE THIS DUDE, ALREADY GIRL"'']
I want to be your boyfriend</poem>
''Chris dances faggily.''
<poem>I can see the way. I see the way you look at me [''Image from "[[Sonichu Special 1]]"'']
And even when you look away I know you think of me [''Photo of Bob with illegible speech bubble, which becomes "THE DETECTIVE FOUND '''NO''' POLICE RECORDS OF HER COP-FATHER", and then "MY SCOOBY-DOO DETECTIVE WORK HAS PINPOINTED AND BLOWN YOUR MIND"'']
I know you talk about me all the time again and again [''Image of Chris with sore head'']
So come—so come over here, tell me what I want to hear [''"DAMN WHY DID I LISTEN TO MY MEATHEADED FATHER AND THAT DETECTIVE"'']
Better yet make your old one disappear [''"IVY NEVER LEFT MY HEART DURING THOSE TRAUMA TWO MONTHS"'']
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again [''"AT LEAST I GOT TO TELL HER "I LOVE YOU" ONE LAST TIME"; "IT'S MY FAULT"'']</poem>
''Photo of three women, captioned "IN LOVING MEMORY OF IVY O'NIEL".''
<poem>Because, he’s like so whatever [''Chris dances idiotically with his eyes closed'']
And you could do so much better [''Photo of unknown couple'']
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!</poem>

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Chris plays ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' drums, looking like a complete child'']
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend</poem>

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret [''Previous couple photo is used, except Chris again replaces the man'']
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend</poem>
''More idiotic dancing.''
<poem>In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
He's so trollin' stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!</poem>
''[[Mary Lee Walsh]] is now paired with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].''
<poem>That old sumbah tried to take you out my life
But you know I can do it way better
He's an impostor. He's a poser! [''Mary is now paired with a skinny, hella sexy guy. A hedgehog moves across the image, saying "HOWARD".'']
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn Pickle Suit?!</poem>
''More pretend guitar.''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one [''[[Julie]] with a MIPS'']
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend</poem>
''More gitar.''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you'd like me [''[[Julie]] with Chris'']
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend</poem>

<poem>Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way! [''More gitar'']
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend</poem>
''Chris points at the camera and dances like a [[slow-in-the-mind]].''
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you'd like me
No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend</poem>

<poem>Hey you!</poem>

==A preview==
A preview for CWC "Boyfriend" was uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2009. Chris then deleted the video in a matter of hours, leading to serious doubts about the probability of the promised video appearing. Yet, true to his word, the video did arrive five days later, much to everybody's surprise.

===Video===

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Preview
| image = {{#ev:youtube|kdOBOpRnay8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Video|CWC "Boyfriend"]]
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Alternate Leaked Edition|"CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition]]
}}</center>

====Transcript====
(Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend plays in the background)

Chris: (Singing to roughly the tune of the music)

Hey Hey You You I don't like your boyfriend!

No Way No Way I think you need a new one!

Hey Hey You You I could be your boyfriend

Hey hey you you I know that you like me

No way no way I know it's not a secret

Hey hey you you I want to be your boyfriend

==Alternate leaked edition==
===Video===

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = "CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition
| image = {{#ev:youtube|859NaLdXJ0s}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| Shirt = [[Image:BlueTshirt.png]] Blue T-Shirt
| Other = {{Leaked}} Leaked
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]
| next = [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]
}}</center>

====Transcription====

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
'think ya need a new one!
Hey! Hey! You! You
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me,
No way! No way! Know it's not a secret,
Hey Hey, You You, I want to be your boyfriend!

You're so fine, I want you mine you're so delicious,
I think about you all the time you're so addictive.
Don't you know what I could to do to make you feel..ALRIGHT.

Don't pretend you think I know I'm damn precious,
And hells yeah I'm the motherfucking prince man,
I can tell ya like me too, and I know am right.
He's like so whatever, and you could do so much better (hops around)
I think we should get together noooowww,
And that's what everyone's talkin about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!
That ain't right woman!
No way! No way!
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that ya like me,
(mumbles something) You, you, you need to be straight girl,
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend!

I can see the way, see the way ya look at me.
And Even when you look away I know ya think of me,
I know you talk about me all the time again and agaaiin.

So come over here, tell my what I wanna hear,
Better yet, make your old one disappear,
I don't want to hear ya say his name agaain.

BECAUSE
He's like so whatever
and you could do, so much better.
I think we should get together nooow,
'N that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend.
No way! No way!
I think ya need a new one.
and Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that ya like me,
And No way! No way, know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger.
'Cause I can, Cause I can do it better,
There's no *mumbles* other so when's it going to sink in
He's so troll and stupid what the hell were you thinkin?!

That ol' sumbah tried to take ya outta my life.
But you know I can do it way better,
He's an impostor, he's a poser, *wipes sweat from brow*
What the hells were ya thinkin with that Pickle Suit?

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
Think ya need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend.

Way, No way

Hey! Hey! You! you!
I know that ya like me
No way! No way!
Know it's not a secret.
Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend

No way, No waaaayy.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way..
Think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! you!
I could be your boyfriend
No way no way

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No WAYYY and No WAYYY
I know it's not a secret,
and Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend
No way, No wayyy

HEY YOU</poem>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = A "Memorial Music Video" for Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|n8AfvxreSb4}}
| Stardate = 27 May 2010
| Maker = CWCmemorial
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris humps his PS3]]|nextlink=[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-14T14:05:59Z

Inos: He did not buy an xbox, that thing is a wii you retards. If someone reverts this I'm going to be pissed.

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... [[Chris and anger|I have no hatred or anger]] towards the [[Homos|gay men]]. [[Lie|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?|Chris [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] to impress [[china]]}}

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against the [[homos|gay men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed. Chris appears to be trying to clear his name, perhaps to demonstrate to a certain [[Jackie|sweetheart]] that he has changed his ways.

It is unclear why Chris has had a change of heart over the Xbox. Having shown his first [[PS3]] no love by [[The MovingForward videos|destroying it]], it only took Chris a matter of days to purchase a new one. This new PS3 appears in the video, and is used in the first video Chris uploaded earlier the same day.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hVHNdHEz0hM}}
| stardate = 13 September 2010
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcript ==

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the Xbox. It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play BluRay, but! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another [[Wii]], or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center [''gestures at the TV; a [[LBP|Sackboy]] is visibly idling on the screen''] because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [[Autism|[''loses train of thought momentarily'']]] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, [[Honest Content|keep it to yourselves]]. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [''wave of his arm''] cleansed! [[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood|You're all forgiven.]] Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:KrookedSpoke

2010-08-30T15:24:14Z

Inos: Welcome

{{Welcome|Inos}}--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 08:24, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T13:00:18Z

Inos: chris reads the cwcki

{{Not A Forum}}
Transcribing this one presently... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:27, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Done transcribing. Well, that was something you don't see every day. If anybody can catch what he says while he's setting down the camera in the first bit, please do add that... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:54, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

What account did he upload this on?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
*he didn't upload it, trolls did --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Um, wow... Destroying his life upgrade? This has to be the work of an external source, no way in hell Chris would do this on his own... I'm guessing either Rocky or Snorlax and the lumber jack. I'm gonna hold off on commenting any further until new information is gleaned.--[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 17:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

How did the trolls get ahold of this video...obviously an inside job if he sent it to some trolls "I'll have sex with you if you destroy your ps3" Our tax dollars will buy him another one however...I wonder if he will still use the Sonichu ID?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 18:01, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Am stupid question i know but why the fuck doesn't he just connect the HDD to his computer and run a data recovery application ? --[[User:Hdl6h3g|Hdl6h3g]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

::Wow, this is a bit extreme, even for Chris. I would be surprised if he thought of doing this on his own. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:::I tried doing that once. Didn't work. I think the PS3 uses a file system that Windows doesn't recognize. I've heard that it can be accessed in Linux, though. Not that it matters, since a formatted drive is near impossible to retrieve data from. He should have just backed it up beforehand.--[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:14, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Here's my question, what's he going to do when winter sets in and he's got nothing to do inside? He'll probably be getting a new one when he realizes that. Food for thought. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:15, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Well it seems like he thinks his PS3 is the sole cause of his lack in a social life, it sort of is but destroying the PS3 seems more like treating a symptom than a disease. [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 18:19, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Sort of, it certainly is a measure to change, albeit an extreme one, but necessary. It's like an addiction really and he's kind of forcing himself into a kind of rehab by doing this. This is all assuming he doesn't just go buy a new one though. But I think that all we've heard from Chris these past few months are all connected: the PS3 destruction, him trying to get off the internet, and, most of all, his high school reunion. He's trying to the best of his ability but keep in mind that it's Chris. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:25, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
Considering how fucking poor these people are, I am shocked that they didn't pawn the PS3 for some solid cash. I mean, jesus fuck.--[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 18:37, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

The 'Trophy Unlocked: Killed the HEX-BOX!" has a certain delicious irony to it now. Maybe Chris deserves an Xbox 360 Achievement for 'killing' the PS3? [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:"Achievement Unlocked" Shoopfag request! --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:22, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:: Done--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:13, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Many thanks! Is the misspelling intentional? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:14, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: Yeah in the moment i forgot how chris spelled Hex-box.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:22, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Random observations that probably should be put to appropriate articles: 1) ''"I mean no disrespect to Sony Computer Entertainment America. Maker of the fine product." ... "I bid you fond...faredoo. Adieu. Fond farewell..."'' If there ever was a proverbial smoking gun as to the fact that Chris just doesn't know what some phrases actually ''mean,'' this would be it. I mean, he failed at really meaning what he said to the sweethearts, and now he failed at really meaning what he said to his sweet fave electronics manufacturer. 2) ''"when I plugged it in, it did not turn on."'' Chris fails basic common-sense fire, electricity and possibly laser safety. If something is obviously FUBAR, you just ''don't'' plug it in, dammit. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 05:51, 30 August 2010 (PDT)

== Growing up? ==

Could it be possible that this is a sign that America's favorite HFA is ridding himself of his "childish" things? Or is it possible that he's just destroying it to feel more adult when he goes to his reunion? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 18:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Fat chance. Even now, he's probably going out and spending his monthly tugboat on another PlayStation 3. He destroyed because he thinks it might lure the trolls away from him. --SpaceScreaminJohn 18:57, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

HE HAS PURCHASED A NEW SLIM PS3 A SLIM PS3 WITH THE LARGEST HARD DRIVE AVAILABLE SLIMMER DESIGN PS3 FOR MORE GAMES.
: Proof? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Template:Not A Forum

2010-08-28T22:49:46Z

Inos: /cwc/ moved to 789chan

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="honest">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="border: 3px solid #orange; width:660px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|align="center" style="padding-top:5px;"| <big>'''Halt! This talk page is [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|not a forum]].'''</big>
|-
|style="padding:0px 0px 0px 4px;"|It is a place to discuss improvements to the article. There are other places to discuss Chris and this topic:
* '''[[CWCki:Speculation]]''', a page on this very wiki.
* '''[[:/cwc/]]''' is an imageboard - a more chaotic but still suitable place to take your discussions about Chris. Recently moved to 789chan.
*'''[[Chris-chan (forum)|Chris-chan]]''' is a subforum of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] forums. Mostly [[slow-in-the-minds|retards]] but if you're desperate, you can register there and be as slow-in-the-mind as you damn well want.
* '''[[IRC:Contents|IRC]]''' There's plenty of people there to talk about Chris with. Generally speaking though, IRC isn't usually talking about Chris nowadays.
<center>Please sign all your messages by typing <nowiki>--~~~~</nowiki> or click the signature button [[File:button sig.png|18px|Signature icon]] on the edit box.</center>
|}
</div><noinclude>{{usage|1=This template is for use at the top of article talk pages. Its purpose is to discourage users from starting up general discussions about Chris and his antics on these pages, and direct them to more suitable places for those discussions. It may be useful to place this banner on the article talk page when creating an article likely to spark up such discussions, such as a new video. The syntax for using this template is as follows:

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User:Inos

2010-08-27T23:29:45Z

Inos: disclaimer

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{PVCC}}
{{IRCReg}}
</div>
Yes, I realize I need to learn what a preview button is.
AHM WORKIN ON IT!

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T23:25:18Z

Inos: sorry for spamming recent changes, i seem to be incapable of using the preview button. i promise to be more careful next time :(

[[Image:Picture 2.png|thumb|Chris, being one of the "Classmate Spotlights" on the MHS page of AlumniClass.com, proving that he may actually be doing something to get a reunion]]

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his <s>[[fanbase]]</s> former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells a hilarious joke about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after almost three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded considerably, it is obvious that nothing about him has changed except for his [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]].

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] y2k}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
}}

== Transcript ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not good. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, high, middle, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbors, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling somebody like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey! Here's a fun little [[Random access humor|joke]]. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- not physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious people to your local police department. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most everybody else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T23:21:11Z

Inos: seventhbase, your thoughts have been inputed etc. also chris called it unfunny afterward so idk why youre agreeing with him. it was a troll joke he was repeating

[[Image:Picture 2.png|thumb|Chris, being one of the "Classmate Spotlights" on the MHS page of AlumniClass.com, proving that he may actually be doing something to get a reunion]]

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his <s>[[fanbase]]</s> former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells a [[hilarious joke]] about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after almost three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded considerably, it is obvious that nothing about him has changed except for his [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]].

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] y2k}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
}}

== Transcript ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not good. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, high, middle, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbors, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling somebody like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey! Here's a fun little [[Random access humor|joke]]. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- not physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious people to your local police department. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most everybody else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T23:21:00Z

Inos: seventhbase, your thoughts have been inputed etc. also chris called it unfunny afterward so idk why youre agreeing with him. it was a troll joke he was repeating

[[Image:Picture 2.png|thumb|Chris, being one of the "Classmate Spotlights" on the MHS page of AlumniClass.com, proving that he may actually be doing something to get a reunion]]

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his <s>[[fanbase]]</s> former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells an [[hilarious joke]] about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after almost three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded considerably, it is obvious that nothing about him has changed except for his [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]].

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] y2k}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
}}

== Transcript ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not good. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, high, middle, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbors, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling somebody like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey! Here's a fun little [[Random access humor|joke]]. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- not physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious people to your local police department. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most everybody else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T12:35:11Z

Inos: not just awesome, hilarious

"'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW'''" is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his [[fanbase]] and former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited. The video came after 3 months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has reclined quite a bit, it is clear that nothing about him has changed in meantime.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells a hilarious joke about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''.

Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Manchester Class of 2000 T-shirt
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcription ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of a School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a licence plate "[[Chris and patriotism|USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the Internet, sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principle of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']

-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow.. it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 55968, or by telephone... at 434 990 0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434 990 0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not cool. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you.. in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarden, [[Nathaniel Green Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Watery Maze|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly coloured outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbours, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling someone like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[42 bust|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs the [[Creepy Stare]]'] [[GodJesus|God]]... will smite them. He knows it- he knows you're [[mass-debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey- here's a fun little joke. So-So I walk into a [[Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]].""

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious activities to the police. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most anyone else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

[[Fanbase|We're]] the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T12:31:48Z

Inos: fuck you that joke was funny

"'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW'''" is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his [[fanbase]] and former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned and he was deliberately not invited. The video came after 3 months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has reclined quite a bit, it is clear that nothing about him has changed in meantime.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells an awesome joke about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''.

Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gQ-dpgxZruI}}
| stardate = 27 August 2010
| subject =
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Manchester Class of 2000 T-shirt
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcription ==

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of a School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a licence plate "[[Chris and patriotism|USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the Internet, sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principle of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']

-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow.. it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 55968, or by telephone... at 434 990 0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434 990 0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not cool. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you.. in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarden, [[Nathaniel Green Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Watery Maze|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly coloured outside the lines in this picture.'']

[[Image:1984.jpg|thumb|Chris urges you to spy on your close friends, neighbours, workmates- anyone.]]

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling someone like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their arses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[42 bust|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']

It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs the [[Creepy Stare]]'] [[GodJesus|God]]... will smite them. He knows it- he knows you're [[mass-debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey- here's a fun little joke. So-So I walk into a [[Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]].""

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious activities to the police. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most anyone else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

[[Fanbase|We're]] the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And together, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-17T12:11:28Z

Inos: Fixed typo

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::What are you talking about? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Either look at the talk pages of either CypherFDP, Msummers or me, or email enginegeorge@yahoo.com asking what happened between him and Chris. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:41, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** I think you mean "parotting". I doubt Chris is able to project his delusions onto even his own parents. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:14, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** Even further than that, the fact that Chris didn't tell his parents about his near-arrest and tried to hide it proves that he is either very afraid of them or will do anything to avoid trouble (even if it is impractical or impossible). I'm also very interested in this apparent theft of Chris's funds. I'm wondering if someone really did break in to mess with his account, or whether Chris bought more shit than he could afford, and is trying to cover it up by claiming "trolls did it" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 20:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Sully, I knew all along that Bob was behind Chris's shit as much as Snorlax. My suspicion was confirmed as fact to almost everyone else (including you) with this call. Just because he punished Chris once in the past does'nt mean that he's a good parent. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 17:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
*** This needs to get transcribed, this is really good material. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 20:13, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**** ffffffffffffffff why did it get cut off at the end? i wanna hear more of snorlax's rambling --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 20:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

Nine hours without a transcription. Sons, I am disapoint.
:I'm on the part where Bob talks about trolls hacking Chris's e-mails. This shit is gold. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 20:44, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fuck. As usual, something new comes along when I'm at work. I'll take a look as soon as I get home, assuming Beat doesn't get word of this and leap upon it like the sexy, caped crusader for justice that he is. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 21:01, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Transcribed. Hopefully without too many mistakes. I'll colorize it as soon as I get myself nice and drunk. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:And colored. Tugboat Captain if you see any of your additions that I missed coloring, sorry, and please reinsert them. Oh, and I redacted the gAME pLACE phone number because I wasn't sure how kosher it was. If anyone wants to throw it in go right on ahead. --[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 21:25, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:* Added a thing here or there, I was working on transcribing it for the past few hours too, but ya beat me to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

And maybe it's just me, but when Matthew says his own name at the beggining, it soulds like Nobles, with an "s". Confirm/deny? Anybody actually know him (how'd we get this in the first place)? --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:52, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
**Actually, I've listened to it, and it really does sound like he's saying Nobles. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 02:58, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

**I made some very minor changes, including adding the s onto the first Nobles. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 19:39, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Best Buy/Bank incident ==

Do we know more about this bank incident? Sounds to me like Chris probably got caught up in some sort of scam and blamed the DAMN DIRTY TROLLS for it. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 22:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Considering how stupid and naive Chris is, I wouldn't put it past him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:26, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:So, either trolls deliberatley going after him, some usual credit card fraud that happened to happen to Chris, or Chris lying out his ass to try to cover himself. Either way, Matthew is a master of Zen for speaking with a straight voice after that paragraph.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:I doubt it's as much "credit card fraud" as Chris-chan [[Chris and money|being his own spend-spreeing self]]. Bob got a wind of his statement, and Chris did the first thing that came to his mind: blame someone else. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:09, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::Either way, if trolls actually did it or Chris did it and is now lying about it, someone could get in some serious trouble for credit card fraud. If it is indeed Chris' doing, this could get good. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 01:36, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if it ''is'' Chris' own fault (which *is* the most probable scenario), it's not fraud- if somehow he did commit fraud, it'd be entirely on accident, I'm sure. Lying to your parents about your massive debt; dumb as all fuck (read: par for course), but not illegal. Chris stealing his parents cards; that IS fraud, but the only way that'd get taken to court is if Bob and Snorlax themselves somehow decided to kick Chris out and sue him. As fucking awesome as that'd be, not a chance in hell. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: I think Chris just spent too much money and blamed those DAMN DIRTY TROLLS--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 07:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: What I meant by fraud is assuming that somehow (Likely through Bob or Barbara) Chris finds out that he can call the credit card company and say that the charges were unauthorized and get them taken off the account. I could see Chris abusing this very quickly. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 12:13, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::::: Oh, in that case: :D --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 20:14, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

==Follow up call?==
I totally think somebody should phone them up again pretending to be the owner of the GAMe PLACe this time, following on from this comment from Bob:

''"Now, if you would like to have me talk to your owner I would be glad to- and my wife would be glad to go to a meeting with him about your place and how it's corrupting the whole neighborhood!"''

It'd be nice to hear some more conspiratorial shit from Boblax about how the GAMe PLACe is "corrupting the whole neighborhood!", and we know that they are chomping at the bit to talk to the owner. Just a though...-[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 22:17, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*"It's all a plot by the GAMe PLACe in league with the Greene County School District to persecute our son for being autistic. The Jews and gays are sent by them to harass Christian just for being the understanding, God-fearing, well-adjusted, mature young man we raised him to be. There's also some connection to the hispanics and blacks to keep him from getting a job and taking away all the white women keeping him from his true love."--[[User:PhilRaptor|PhilRaptor]] 23:29, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

:*Could be worse: Bob and Chris could know the word "Sheeple."--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:57, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

::*Worse yet, Bob could know people in the Tea Party. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 09:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

==You do realize...==
That Matthew sounds just like Alec Benson Leary right? Coincidence? I think not. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:50, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Apparently we don't like to disclose identities of trolls, but I think "ALB" of the calls, the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] cameraman, and the Mr. Hyde of [[Magical Man Potion]] are the same person. Probably a Charlottesville FA. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 23:07, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
::I thought the same thing when he started talking. This is the most interesting thing to happen in months, hopefully we can find out about the credit card business and all of that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Letter ==

What sort of letter would Bob want to be sent? Chris steals troll-related mail and Bob is already talking to the (supposed) Game Place employee on the phone, so what sense does it make to want a letter? --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 23:49, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Bob doesn't know that Chris steals the troll mail.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:03, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Too bad we do not know the mechnics of how exactly. Like does Bob or Snorlax actually get the mail out of the box, or does Chris do it? If maybe Bob would see stuff on a postcard before Chris got to it.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:55, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well, if they receive a large number of postcards/letters over one day or a week containing information they may not know (house tour still being online and whatever else people can think of), they would have a better chance of seeing something or Chris getting freaked out at all these letters coming in from around the country. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 03:53, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

== Sent video to Michael Snyder ==

I sent the video to Michael on YouTube; he needs to get a hold of this and address the video considering that Bob and Barb want to talk to him THAT bad. Even though he probably gets hundreds of messages and somebody may have already sent him the vid, I just felt it was important that he got a hold of this. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:00, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Isn't there a possibility Michael won't be happy that someone is pretending to work at the Game Place? I don't really know his personality or how he feels about the trolling but if it brings him into it I'm not really sure if he wants that. --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 10:05, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I bet Mike would see the caller's intentions (knock sense into Chris's parents); even though he might be a little miffed that someone was posing as an employee of his store, he's unlikely to go ballistic over the matter like Chris would because the caller was only trying to reason with Chris's parents. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 10:21, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Regardless how he takes the use of his store as a cover, I am sure Mike will be more than glad to share with us his views of his rise to fame as a conspiracy mastermind. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 10:38, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::I was just thinking this as well. Posing as anyone from The Game Place is pretty risky. There's a big potential for collateral damage to innocent parties. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 13:31, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Why would you decide to be the guy to do this? If Snyder reacts poorly to someone posing as one of his employees, we could easily be the ones to lose out. You also (presumably) have no idea if alerting Snyder conflicts with the plans of the person who was good enough to bring us this call. I've been happily lurking the CWCki for a stupidly long time and have never felt the need to get involved, but was moved to register today just to point out that this may be a stupendously dumbfuck move. [[User:LisaLisa|LisaLisa]] 16:48, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
::Pretty much what LisaLisa said... I've looked at your talk page, and you have a history of doing shit that is totally unnecessary without asking. You'd think you would have learned by now.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 05:09, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

*When you say they want to talk to Snyder that bad, are you getting that from where they say they want to talk to the owner? Cos they don't mean Snyder, the owner is someone else. If you're talking about them accusing Snyder of fraud, well, maybe that's something he should be made aware of. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 17:35, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
**The latter was the reason why I alerted Snyder; accusations of credit card fraud and stealing money from somebody's bank account are extremely serious, especially behind somebody's back (in this case Mike's). If he knew of the allegations, the Chandlers could be in deep shit for accusing him of a crime that he never committed, especially when there is no evidence of fraud. --[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 19:15, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-17T12:09:03Z

Inos: /* Sent video to Michael Snyder */

User talk:ChrisIsGay

2010-08-17T10:02:57Z

Inos: forgot to sign

==Uh==
[[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] previously left you instructions on how to get Kellie's information removed on [[User_talk:PhilDRich|the user talk page for PhilDRich]]. Please refrain from vandalizing the wiki as your edits can very easily be reverted. Instead, please leave a message on [[User_talk:Cogsdev|the site administrator's talk page]] to request that information be removed.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 03:02, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

User:ChrisIsGay

2010-08-17T10:02:38Z

Inos: forgot to sign

Ooh, ''terrifying.'' Legal threats mean jackshit here, dude. GTFO. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 08:54, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

It's simple, man. You want the information gone? ''Contact the admins and tell them to remove it.'' Don't troll. You look like an idiot. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 08:56, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Pretty much what he said. We have, in the past, made attempts to conceal people's identities who are basically Chris's innocent victims. Essentially, because Kelly probably doesn't fall into the category of one of his enablers, we could probably remove the information for her. But only her, not you. Going around pointlessly vandalizing pages (as you can see, your changes are reverted in seconds) doesn't help your cause and only makes it worse. Get Kelly, the real Kelly, to contact us and we might be able to make something happen. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:59, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Uh==
[[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] previously left you instructions on how to get Kellie's information removed on [[User_talk:PhilDRich|the user talk page for PhilDRich]]. Please refrain from vandalizing the wiki as your edits can very easily be reverted. Instead, please leave a message on [[User_talk:Cogsdev|the site administrator's talk page]] to request that information be removed.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 03:02, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

User:ChrisIsGay

2010-08-17T09:59:57Z

Inos: pasted thing from talk page here