CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:InvalidLogin

2011-09-28T02:44:48Z

InvalidLogin:

I'm just here to help edit/maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz.

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4-cent garbage.com

2011-09-28T02:37:08Z

InvalidLogin: /* Inspiration */

{{DISPLAYTITLE:4-cent_garbage.com}}
[[Image:4-cent garbage.png|thumb|INTERNET AUTISTIC HATE MACHINE]]
'''4-cent_garbage''' is [[Chris]]'s representation of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]]. Since he blames ED for [[Megan Saga|breaking up the closest thing to a relationship that he ever had]], he must naturally demonize it in his comics.

In the comics, it is depicted as a business based in a large 72 floor office building in which several hundred [[Trolls|employees]] work. Apparently, the business runs both a website and a magazine, the contents of which are unclear. The website seems to be analogous to the real life ED, having several articles on existing people, or at least mentioning them<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_30</ref> and a huge load of dickgirl images which are uploaded nearly constantly.
[[File:SchuComic8P11.jpg|thumb|You will never find a more wretched hive of lulz and trolling.]]
Jason's final speech in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as Chris's ramblings in the Time Void, seem to indicate that any percieved inaccuracies in the articles or images hosted on the site are deliberate attempts to slander Chris and his Sonichus.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_31</ref> Why exactly Jason would wish to do this or [[Chris and his Ego#Persecution complex|why he has chosen to target Chris]] is never addressed, but his presence at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] meeting in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]] seem to suggest that the company and all of its employees are a part of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s secret trolling cabal.

It is worth noting that this is the closest Chris has ever made it to creating an actual [[parody]].

==Inspiration==
In [[2007]], while innocently stroking his [[ego]], Chris discovered [[ED]]'s page satirizing him and [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. What really [[Family Guy|ground his gears]] about the page was the "fan art" of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle|penis]]. Beginning 10 November 2007, Chris embarked on a quest to [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|make the website less scathing]] by uploading hideously drawn [[Rule 34]] of his little abominations (and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]), along with the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to his page.

How Chris first encountered 4chan is less clear. An [[White knight e-mails#November 2007 .E2.80.94 ED alert|e-mail from a white knight]] on 5 November 2007 attempted to alert him to the ED page, and referred to the article as being created and written by the same people making fun of Chris on 4chan's /v/ board. Whether he paid any attention to the message or not, what is known is that on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#November 2007|12 November 2007]], Chris first acknowledged 4chan when he made another edit to the "Chris-chan" article:

{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

From this, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris discovered 4chan and ED around the same time, and that he considered them to be essentially one and the same. Chris would continue his Sisyphean edit war against ED well into 2008, but ultimately, all he succeeded in doing was alienating [[Megan Schroeder]].

By August 2008, Chris was finishing [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and he apparently felt the need to address these recent developments in the pages of his comic. Issue #7 opened with Megan as a supporting character in the story, but with the [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again.2C attempts to talk sense into him|real Megan wanting nothing more to do with Chris]], he decided to write her out of the story. As for ED and 4chan, Chris would lump these two concepts together and dub them "4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com." The name is a slight mystery, because underscores (_) are not permitted in Internet domain names.

==Introduction: ''Sonichu'' #7==
''Sonichu'' #7 was the first issue of the series to be influenced by Chris's interactions with online [[trolls]]. While Chris didn't finish the comic until 20 August 2008, the events of the issue are all set in 2 November 2007, one day before the ED article was created. Just as past issues of ''Sonichu'' were very loosely based on Chris's real life, he must have wanted to acknowledge the conflict with ED/4chan and his estrangement from Megan in #7. But all of that happened ''after'' 2 November 2007.

Chris's solution was the [[Time Void]]; a poorly-defined realm where Chris's character would be trapped for the next two issues. While stranded in the Time Void, Chris would somehow experience events going on in his real life while the fictional events in the comics unfolded without him. Upon entering the Time Void, Chris found himself assaulted by "random...new memories...popping in...my head!" These were memories of things that happened after 2 November 2007, so Chris was essentially using the Time Void to "remember" the future. Along with fictional events like the [[Sonichu 9|Battle of CWCville]], Chris also experienced "memories" of [[Joshua Martinez]] setting him up with "[[Lori Lopez]]", and Megan "dumping" him via [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|e-mail]].

{{quote|Dumping me? But why?!! 4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com? Mocking me? Slanderous Filth?!!! A drawing of me and [[Retcons|Meg-Chan]]... Intimate? And I drew that?!! She dumped me over that? Oh... that hurts! Still. Curse your 4-cent garbage!|Chris first mentions 4-cent_garbage in the Time Void|''Sonichu'' #7}}

It became clear from this scene that once Chris escaped from the Time Void, he would do battle with 4-cent_Garbage as a proxy for ED and 4chan, just as he had battled [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] as proxies for those who interfered with his [[Love Quest]].

==Conflict with Sonichu and Rosechu: ''Sonichu'' #8==
[[Image:4-CENT-GARBAGE.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and his super cool pals in front of the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters]]
In the first part of ''Sonichu'' #8, "Rage Against the Garbage", 4-cent_garbage was formally introduced as a villainous organization dedicated to slandering people for the sake of amusement. Rosechu discovers the site on 3 November, 2007, which just happens to be the date that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] created the "Chris-chan" article on ED. The site's content includes a page that slanders Sonichu, Chris, and her, along with "lifelike" drawings of Rosechu with a [[pickle]]. While Sonichu is overcome with the [[stress]] of seeing his mate depicted with a penis, Rosechu decides to fight fire with fire by editing the site, just as Chris had tried in real life. She crawls into her [[April 16 Fetish Vids|dirty, mildew-laden bathroom]] and takes pictures of herself in the [[nudes|nude]], and then uploads them onto the 4-cent website. However 4-cent_garbage simply adds more dickgirl pictures, and she realizes that her plan will never work.

Instead, she travels with [[Sonichu]] and [[Wild]] to 4-cent_garbage's headquarters in [[wikipedia:Clarksville, Tennessee|Clarksville, Tennessee]], to confront the leader of the organization. While Wild sneaks into the building in search of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], Sonichu and Rosechu take the elevator to the top floor, and meet [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old "womanslave" [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], who had previously cameoed in issue #7. The meeting is civil at first, but when Jason refuses to take down the "Chris-chan" page, Sonichu tries to fight him, and loses. Rosechu fares better as [[The Incredible Lioness]], having [[Chris and the law|inflicted wounds that would have killed a normal man]] in fact, but the page remains up, and their mission is ultimately a failure.

==The Fall of 4-cent_garbage: ''Sonichu'' #10==
[[File:Jason's Hexbox.jpg|thumb|Jason plots against Chris with his [[HEXBox]].]]
Upon Chris's return from the Time Void on 9 [[August 2007]], he immediately coordinates an attack on the 4-cent_garbage HQ, ordering Sonichu, Wild, [[Black Sonichu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], and [[Son-Chu]] to meet him in front of the building. Chris arrives first as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and Jason and [[Beel]] lay a trap for him and try to steal his [[medallion]]. However, Chris discovers that the TRUE AND HONEST source of his Anchuent powers is his [[high school ring]], which he uses to retrieve the Medallion and free himself.

Later, when Chris's allies arrive, he orders Son-Chu to transform into a sound stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]. Using the [[Gitar of Fail]], Chris then leads the band in a live performance of [[Revive Zordon]], and the intense power of their music begins to shake the building apart. Inside, Jason converts his throne into an escape pod, and flees with Kathleen, leaving the others behind. Jason declares that he is retiring from trolling, in order to settle down with Kathleen and live a normal life. Chris also takes the time to use Jason as a mouthpiece to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for "slandering and torturing and innocent man", [[Hypocrisy|even though that was what Jason was supposedly doing not two issues ago]]. Beel meanwhile decides to take shelter in the basement, explaining that he could not be killed and would simply be reassigned to [[Count Graduon]] once the building was destroyed, and Clyde and Jack, alone on the top floor and with no way out, choose to commit suicide by leaping down the elevator shaft together just as the building collapses, refusing to let themselves be killed by Chris.

[[Terrorism|The building then gives way and collapses, with 1500 people still alive inside.]]

[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] reports that of the 1500 people who were in the building...
*500 were "[[Chris and reality|prefectly [sic] unharmed]]".
*250 were too drunk to escape on their own.
:*125 of these drunk trolls managed to get out alive with help from sober trolls.
:*125 of the drunk trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*125 sober trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*250 others were injured.
*150 others were "safe but hurt".
*100 were killed.

[[Honor Roll|Note that this only accounts for 1,375 people.]]

Despite having just destroyed a building and killed between 100-350 innocent people, Chris then calls for the ambulances himself whilst he and his team of recolors help to rescue the survivors that they themselves had nearly killed. Afterwards, Chris then [[Chris and remorse|weeps for the victims of his own mass murder]], whilst also maintaining that it was [[Chris and his Ego|the trolls' faults they were killed, because they made fun of him on the internet]].

Supposedly, destroying 4-cent_garbage's headquarters disabled its website as well, along with Encylcopedia Dramatica's website, such that both sites' data was irrevocably lost, and neither would ever be restored.

==The 4-cent_garbage building==
4-cent_garbage appears to be a multimedia operation, with a website and a print magazine operated from a brick-and-mortar building in Clarksville, Tennessee. The location of the building is probably intended to refer to where the real Jason lives, or at least where Chris ''thinks'' he lives.

The 4-cent_garbage building is 72 stories tall (66+6, as described by [[Beel]]), and the interior is painted bright red to resemble [[CWCville|Hell]]. On the ground floor, Beel sits at the receptionist desk and directs visitors to an elevator on the far side of the atrium. Employees are seen on several higher floors drinking an alcoholic beverage called "[[Reeb]]", and passing out on the floor when their shift is over. Their work seems to involve sitting at computer terminals, uploading and editing images of Chris and his characters.

On the 72nd floor, Jason Kendrick Howell holds court with his womanslave Kathleen at his side. It is unknown where Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus were stationed in the building, or what their jobs were before the building's destruction.

Security in the building was incredibly lax. [[Wild Sonichu]] turned invisible to sneak into the upper floors in search of a [[Sonichu Ball]], only to find it left on a desk. Once he took the ball, his invisibility wore off, but he was still able to slip back out of the building unnoticed.

===The elevator gags===
[[Image:SchuRchuReactions1.jpg|thumb|Planning? In MY ''Sonichu''? It's less likely than you think.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg|thumb|What is this, I don't even.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|That's right, the entire White House is on the 51st floor.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg|thumb|Chris's favorite pictures from ED.]]
A large part of "Rage Against the Garbage" features Sonichu and Rosechu exploring different floors in the 4-cent_garbage Building. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at so many different floors to look around at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever is depicted, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason.

This appears to have been one of Chris's attempts to employ some of his trademark [[random-access humor]], by showing wacky stuff on each floor. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. In some strange attempt at foreshadowing, Chris located these images on ED and then put them on his user page while he was still trying to edit the site.

{{quote|You'll be seeing the following images AGAIN Soon Enough. |Christian Weston Chandler, on the images he put on his ED user page, which would later be used in ''Sonichu'' #8.}}

Whatever his reasons, Chris seemed to believe that using images from ED in one of his comics would somehow be a big deal. The floors used in the comic are listed below, along with a description of what Chris put on each one.

*2nd floor: Chris draws 4-cent_garbage.com employees passed out drunk at their workstations. When the one of them recovers from his hangover and gets up, he relieves the only other conscious employee of his shift and takes over. The relieved guard then drinks a can of "[[Alcohol|Reeb]]" and passes out on the floor like the others, while Sonichu and Rosechu look on from the elevator and [[sigh]].
*3rd floor: [[Pedofork|Pedobear]] in a bathtub with the Powerpuff Girls. Sonichu doesn't understand the joke.
*4th floor: Banner reading "I hate SMRS", a reference to "[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Sonicrocksmysocks Sonicrocksmysocks]", from the ED article of the same name.
*7th floor: A 4-cent_garbage.com employee works on a drawing of Rosechu with a dick. Rosechu angrily leaves the elevator to punch him in the face, shouting "I have a vagina, uterus, and ovaries, you freak!!!"
*8th floor: Sonichu spin dashes a 4-cent_garbage.com employee working on a picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], nude and leading Sonichu by a leash.
*9th floor: Sonichu and Rosechu electrocute an employee as he works on a picture of Sonichu sucking Rosechu's penis.
*10th floor: Chris emerges from the [[Time Void]] to attack an employee working on a picture of Chris using the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]. Sonichu and Rosechu cheer him on in unison.
*11th floor: Troll parody of artwork by [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Branca Branca], a batshit insane fan of the animated band The Gorillaz. Sonichu considers it to be sad.
*12th floor: Fan art of Knuckles as a gangster, surrounded by sexualized versions of female "Sonic" characters. Sonichu [[naïve|naïvely]] wonders when he became so popular.
*13th floor: Female versions of [[Sonic]], Tails and Knuckles. Sonichu and Rosechu are dumbfounded.
*14th floor; Pedobear, depicted to resemble Phoenix Wright.
*21st floor: [[Wikipedia:The Bathers (Cézanne)|''Les Grandes Baigneuses'']] an 1887 painting by [[Wikipedia:Paul Cézanne|Paul Cézanne]]. ED has a copy of the image which has been edited with captions to reference the "Branca" article on ED.
*22nd floor: ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Rule 34, from the ED article. Sonichu innocently considers it an impressive dark magic attack.
*23rd floor: An anthropomorphized Charmeleon with her arms handcuffed behind her back spreads her asscheeks, as if for sexual activity. More Rule 34 from ED's ''[[Pokémon]]'' article. Sonichu ignores the sexualized content, and boasts that he could easily defeat the Charmeleon. Well, duh, it's handcuffed.
*24th floor: Hate art of Snapesnogger's hermaphrodite naga character drawn by Zeriara.
*33rd floor: Rule 34 Art from ED's ''[[Transformers]]'' page.
*34th floor: [[Sonic]]/[[Amy Rose]] Rule 34. Sonichu cheers on his "pal" as they watch him have sex in a position very similar to the "missionary cowgirl" used by Sonichu earlier in the issue..
*35th floor: Nude artwork of [[Amy Rose]], Rouge the Bat, and Cream the Rabbit. Sonichu and Rosechu shout "Holy Crap!" in unison.
*36th floor: Strip poker game featuring various female characters from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]''. The image has been adapted into a parody of a ''Magic: The Gathering'' Card.
*51st floor: The entire White House, with John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton, looking on while [[Barack Obama]] paints the walls black. [[George W. Bush]] cheerfully knocks his eventual successor off his ladder. Sonichu and Rosechu offer no discernible reaction. Chris notes that his father [[Bob Chandler]] came up with this "joke." Recall that this story is set in the fall of ''[[2007]]'', so the joke really makes no sense for that year.
*61st floor: Erotic artwork of Dot Warner, from ''Animaniacs''.
*62nd floor: Erotic artwork of Lois Griffin, from ''[[Family Guy]]''.
*63rd floor: Erotic artwork of Marge Simpson, from ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
*64th floor: Rule 34 of Misty and a Starmie, from ''[[Pokémon]]''. Sonichu and Rosechu make out during this and the preceding three floors.
*69th floor: Image of "XBOX 360-ko", an anime-style character patterned after design elements of the XBox 360. As the following floor features an Xbox 360 console being destroyed, Chris includes a disclaimer, stating that his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] should not be connected to any lingering resentment of women.
*70th floor: Drawing by Chris of an Xbox 360 console being chopped in half with a meat cleaver. Sonichu and Rosechu applaud the instrument's destruction. The imagery is a clear indication that Chris secretly desires to murder women.
*71st floor: [[PS3]] message congratulating whoever murdered the HEXBox. It states that you may "now play your PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii in peace", as though the existence of a single Xbox somehow interfered with such activity.

Note that it is never addressed whether or not the images such as the Rule 34 depicted here are really just drawings on a computer or poster in the building, or if they have a physical presence. However, the fact that Sonichu cheers on [[Sonic]] as he has sex with [[Amy Rose]] suggests that they are really there.

===Business and Staff===
{{quote|I am a troll with no such beliefs, I know that we are born, then we die. I intend to make the most of my pitiful life by tormenting every person within my grasp until they all die from the shame and the distress of their existance. The page will stay up; this meeting is over!|Jason Kendrick Howell, responding to Sonichu's request to remove the "Chris-chan" page, ''Sonichu'' #8}}

4-cent_garbage does not appear to have any clear marketing objective. While this may seem like an oversight on Chris's part, it may well be a genuine commentary on the pointlessness of 4chan and ED's activities. While most people would consider them to be entertainment sites, with no other purpose than to provide humor or diversion, Chris obviously doesn't find them funny, and so he depicted 4-cent_garbage as a tower of bullies, mass-producing cruelty for its own sake. In the comic, Jason says his only goal in life is to hurt as many people as he can before he dies. While he may have only been speaking for himself, this seems to be the ''raison d'être'' for everyone else who works there.

In ''Sonichu'' #10, Beel explains that "this trolling gig is my hell", suggesting that he has been condemned to work there, possibly because he had once been "main assistant to Adolf Hitler". Unable to die, Beel would simply be damned to serve yet another villain, [[Count Graduon]], once the 4-cent_garbage building was destroyed.

While [[Clyde Cash]] had been previously depicted in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]] as an agent of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he also appears in ''Sonichu'' #10 supporting 4-cent_garbage. Though confusing in some respects, especially concerning the canonicity of the Sonichu Specials, this dual role may not be a complete contradiction, as the exact relationship between 4-cent_garbage and [[PVCC]] is never explained.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]
*[[Beel]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Revive Zordon]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]]
*[[Chris and death]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.4chan.org/ 4chan] - A *chan imageboard and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's name.
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.org/ Encyclopedia Dramatica] - An internet satire wiki and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's role in the comics (now redirects to its successor site, Oh Internet!).
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/ archive] of the old ED site.
*[http://789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/] - Another *chan imageboard which sometimes adopts the name 4-cent_garbage in reference to the comics.

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

4-cent garbage.com

2011-09-28T02:34:52Z

InvalidLogin: /* Inspiration */

{{DISPLAYTITLE:4-cent_garbage.com}}
[[Image:4-cent garbage.png|thumb|INTERNET AUTISTIC HATE MACHINE]]
'''4-cent_garbage''' is [[Chris]]'s representation of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]]. Since he blames ED for [[Megan Saga|breaking up the closest thing to a relationship that he ever had]], he must naturally demonize it in his comics.

In the comics, it is depicted as a business based in a large 72 floor office building in which several hundred [[Trolls|employees]] work. Apparently, the business runs both a website and a magazine, the contents of which are unclear. The website seems to be analogous to the real life ED, having several articles on existing people, or at least mentioning them<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_30</ref> and a huge load of dickgirl images which are uploaded nearly constantly.
[[File:SchuComic8P11.jpg|thumb|You will never find a more wretched hive of lulz and trolling.]]
Jason's final speech in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as Chris's ramblings in the Time Void, seem to indicate that any percieved inaccuracies in the articles or images hosted on the site are deliberate attempts to slander Chris and his Sonichus.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_31</ref> Why exactly Jason would wish to do this or [[Chris and his Ego#Persecution complex|why he has chosen to target Chris]] is never addressed, but his presence at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] meeting in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]] seem to suggest that the company and all of its employees are a part of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s secret trolling cabal.

It is worth noting that this is the closest Chris has ever made it to creating an actual [[parody]].

==Inspiration==
In [[2007]], while innocently stroking his [[ego]], Chris discovered [[ED]]'s page satirizing him and [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. What really [[Family Guy|ground his gears]] about the page was the "fan art" of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle|penis]]. Beginning 10 November 2007, Chris embarked on a quest to [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|make the website less scathing]] by uploading hideously drawn [[Rule 34]] of his little abominations (and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]), along with the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to his page.

How Chris first encountered 4chan is less clear. An [[White knight e-mails#November 2007 .E2.80.94 ED alert|e-mail from a white knight]] on 5 November 2007 attempted to alert him to the ED page, and referred to the article as being created and written by the same people making fun of Chris on 4chan's /v/ board. Whether he paid any attention to the message or not, what is known is that on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#November 2007|12 November 2007]], Chris first acknowledged 4chan when he made another edit to the "Chris-chan" article:

{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

From this, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris discovered 4chan and ED around the same time, and that he considered them to be essentially one and the same. Chris would continue his sisyphean edit war against ED well into 2008, but ultimately, all he succeeded in doing was alienating [[Megan Schroeder]].

By August 2008, Chris was finishing [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and he apparently felt the need to address these recent developments in the pages of his comic. Issue #7 opened with Megan as a supporting character in the story, but with the [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again.2C attempts to talk sense into him|real Megan wanting nothing more to do with Chris]], he decided to write her out of the story. As for ED and 4chan, Chris would lump these two concepts together and dub them "4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com." The name is a slight mystery, because underscores (_) are not permitted in Internet domain names.

==Introduction: ''Sonichu'' #7==
''Sonichu'' #7 was the first issue of the series to be influenced by Chris's interactions with online [[trolls]]. While Chris didn't finish the comic until 20 August 2008, the events of the issue are all set in 2 November 2007, one day before the ED article was created. Just as past issues of ''Sonichu'' were very loosely based on Chris's real life, he must have wanted to acknowledge the conflict with ED/4chan and his estrangement from Megan in #7. But all of that happened ''after'' 2 November 2007.

Chris's solution was the [[Time Void]]; a poorly-defined realm where Chris's character would be trapped for the next two issues. While stranded in the Time Void, Chris would somehow experience events going on in his real life while the fictional events in the comics unfolded without him. Upon entering the Time Void, Chris found himself assaulted by "random...new memories...popping in...my head!" These were memories of things that happened after 2 November 2007, so Chris was essentially using the Time Void to "remember" the future. Along with fictional events like the [[Sonichu 9|Battle of CWCville]], Chris also experienced "memories" of [[Joshua Martinez]] setting him up with "[[Lori Lopez]]", and Megan "dumping" him via [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|e-mail]].

{{quote|Dumping me? But why?!! 4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com? Mocking me? Slanderous Filth?!!! A drawing of me and [[Retcons|Meg-Chan]]... Intimate? And I drew that?!! She dumped me over that? Oh... that hurts! Still. Curse your 4-cent garbage!|Chris first mentions 4-cent_garbage in the Time Void|''Sonichu'' #7}}

It became clear from this scene that once Chris escaped from the Time Void, he would do battle with 4-cent_Garbage as a proxy for ED and 4chan, just as he had battled [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] as proxies for those who interfered with his [[Love Quest]].

==Conflict with Sonichu and Rosechu: ''Sonichu'' #8==
[[Image:4-CENT-GARBAGE.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and his super cool pals in front of the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters]]
In the first part of ''Sonichu'' #8, "Rage Against the Garbage", 4-cent_garbage was formally introduced as a villainous organization dedicated to slandering people for the sake of amusement. Rosechu discovers the site on 3 November, 2007, which just happens to be the date that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] created the "Chris-chan" article on ED. The site's content includes a page that slanders Sonichu, Chris, and her, along with "lifelike" drawings of Rosechu with a [[pickle]]. While Sonichu is overcome with the [[stress]] of seeing his mate depicted with a penis, Rosechu decides to fight fire with fire by editing the site, just as Chris had tried in real life. She crawls into her [[April 16 Fetish Vids|dirty, mildew-laden bathroom]] and takes pictures of herself in the [[nudes|nude]], and then uploads them onto the 4-cent website. However 4-cent_garbage simply adds more dickgirl pictures, and she realizes that her plan will never work.

Instead, she travels with [[Sonichu]] and [[Wild]] to 4-cent_garbage's headquarters in [[wikipedia:Clarksville, Tennessee|Clarksville, Tennessee]], to confront the leader of the organization. While Wild sneaks into the building in search of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], Sonichu and Rosechu take the elevator to the top floor, and meet [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year old "womanslave" [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], who had previously cameoed in issue #7. The meeting is civil at first, but when Jason refuses to take down the "Chris-chan" page, Sonichu tries to fight him, and loses. Rosechu fares better as [[The Incredible Lioness]], having [[Chris and the law|inflicted wounds that would have killed a normal man]] in fact, but the page remains up, and their mission is ultimately a failure.

==The Fall of 4-cent_garbage: ''Sonichu'' #10==
[[File:Jason's Hexbox.jpg|thumb|Jason plots against Chris with his [[HEXBox]].]]
Upon Chris's return from the Time Void on 9 [[August 2007]], he immediately coordinates an attack on the 4-cent_garbage HQ, ordering Sonichu, Wild, [[Black Sonichu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], and [[Son-Chu]] to meet him in front of the building. Chris arrives first as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and Jason and [[Beel]] lay a trap for him and try to steal his [[medallion]]. However, Chris discovers that the TRUE AND HONEST source of his Anchuent powers is his [[high school ring]], which he uses to retrieve the Medallion and free himself.

Later, when Chris's allies arrive, he orders Son-Chu to transform into a sound stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]. Using the [[Gitar of Fail]], Chris then leads the band in a live performance of [[Revive Zordon]], and the intense power of their music begins to shake the building apart. Inside, Jason converts his throne into an escape pod, and flees with Kathleen, leaving the others behind. Jason declares that he is retiring from trolling, in order to settle down with Kathleen and live a normal life. Chris also takes the time to use Jason as a mouthpiece to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for "slandering and torturing and innocent man", [[Hypocrisy|even though that was what Jason was supposedly doing not two issues ago]]. Beel meanwhile decides to take shelter in the basement, explaining that he could not be killed and would simply be reassigned to [[Count Graduon]] once the building was destroyed, and Clyde and Jack, alone on the top floor and with no way out, choose to commit suicide by leaping down the elevator shaft together just as the building collapses, refusing to let themselves be killed by Chris.

[[Terrorism|The building then gives way and collapses, with 1500 people still alive inside.]]

[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] reports that of the 1500 people who were in the building...
*500 were "[[Chris and reality|prefectly [sic] unharmed]]".
*250 were too drunk to escape on their own.
:*125 of these drunk trolls managed to get out alive with help from sober trolls.
:*125 of the drunk trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*125 sober trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*250 others were injured.
*150 others were "safe but hurt".
*100 were killed.

[[Honor Roll|Note that this only accounts for 1,375 people.]]

Despite having just destroyed a building and killed between 100-350 innocent people, Chris then calls for the ambulances himself whilst he and his team of recolors help to rescue the survivors that they themselves had nearly killed. Afterwards, Chris then [[Chris and remorse|weeps for the victims of his own mass murder]], whilst also maintaining that it was [[Chris and his Ego|the trolls' faults they were killed, because they made fun of him on the internet]].

Supposedly, destroying 4-cent_garbage's headquarters disabled its website as well, along with Encylcopedia Dramatica's website, such that both sites' data was irrevocably lost, and neither would ever be restored.

==The 4-cent_garbage building==
4-cent_garbage appears to be a multimedia operation, with a website and a print magazine operated from a brick-and-mortar building in Clarksville, Tennessee. The location of the building is probably intended to refer to where the real Jason lives, or at least where Chris ''thinks'' he lives.

The 4-cent_garbage building is 72 stories tall (66+6, as described by [[Beel]]), and the interior is painted bright red to resemble [[CWCville|Hell]]. On the ground floor, Beel sits at the receptionist desk and directs visitors to an elevator on the far side of the atrium. Employees are seen on several higher floors drinking an alcoholic beverage called "[[Reeb]]", and passing out on the floor when their shift is over. Their work seems to involve sitting at computer terminals, uploading and editing images of Chris and his characters.

On the 72nd floor, Jason Kendrick Howell holds court with his womanslave Kathleen at his side. It is unknown where Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus were stationed in the building, or what their jobs were before the building's destruction.

Security in the building was incredibly lax. [[Wild Sonichu]] turned invisible to sneak into the upper floors in search of a [[Sonichu Ball]], only to find it left on a desk. Once he took the ball, his invisibility wore off, but he was still able to slip back out of the building unnoticed.

===The elevator gags===
[[Image:SchuRchuReactions1.jpg|thumb|Planning? In MY ''Sonichu''? It's less likely than you think.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg|thumb|What is this, I don't even.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|That's right, the entire White House is on the 51st floor.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg|thumb|Chris's favorite pictures from ED.]]
A large part of "Rage Against the Garbage" features Sonichu and Rosechu exploring different floors in the 4-cent_garbage Building. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at so many different floors to look around at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever is depicted, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason.

This appears to have been one of Chris's attempts to employ some of his trademark [[random-access humor]], by showing wacky stuff on each floor. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. In some strange attempt at foreshadowing, Chris located these images on ED and then put them on his user page while he was still trying to edit the site.

{{quote|You'll be seeing the following images AGAIN Soon Enough. |Christian Weston Chandler, on the images he put on his ED user page, which would later be used in ''Sonichu'' #8.}}

Whatever his reasons, Chris seemed to believe that using images from ED in one of his comics would somehow be a big deal. The floors used in the comic are listed below, along with a description of what Chris put on each one.

*2nd floor: Chris draws 4-cent_garbage.com employees passed out drunk at their workstations. When the one of them recovers from his hangover and gets up, he relieves the only other conscious employee of his shift and takes over. The relieved guard then drinks a can of "[[Alcohol|Reeb]]" and passes out on the floor like the others, while Sonichu and Rosechu look on from the elevator and [[sigh]].
*3rd floor: [[Pedofork|Pedobear]] in a bathtub with the Powerpuff Girls. Sonichu doesn't understand the joke.
*4th floor: Banner reading "I hate SMRS", a reference to "[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Sonicrocksmysocks Sonicrocksmysocks]", from the ED article of the same name.
*7th floor: A 4-cent_garbage.com employee works on a drawing of Rosechu with a dick. Rosechu angrily leaves the elevator to punch him in the face, shouting "I have a vagina, uterus, and ovaries, you freak!!!"
*8th floor: Sonichu spin dashes a 4-cent_garbage.com employee working on a picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], nude and leading Sonichu by a leash.
*9th floor: Sonichu and Rosechu electrocute an employee as he works on a picture of Sonichu sucking Rosechu's penis.
*10th floor: Chris emerges from the [[Time Void]] to attack an employee working on a picture of Chris using the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]. Sonichu and Rosechu cheer him on in unison.
*11th floor: Troll parody of artwork by [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Branca Branca], a batshit insane fan of the animated band The Gorillaz. Sonichu considers it to be sad.
*12th floor: Fan art of Knuckles as a gangster, surrounded by sexualized versions of female "Sonic" characters. Sonichu [[naïve|naïvely]] wonders when he became so popular.
*13th floor: Female versions of [[Sonic]], Tails and Knuckles. Sonichu and Rosechu are dumbfounded.
*14th floor; Pedobear, depicted to resemble Phoenix Wright.
*21st floor: [[Wikipedia:The Bathers (Cézanne)|''Les Grandes Baigneuses'']] an 1887 painting by [[Wikipedia:Paul Cézanne|Paul Cézanne]]. ED has a copy of the image which has been edited with captions to reference the "Branca" article on ED.
*22nd floor: ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Rule 34, from the ED article. Sonichu innocently considers it an impressive dark magic attack.
*23rd floor: An anthropomorphized Charmeleon with her arms handcuffed behind her back spreads her asscheeks, as if for sexual activity. More Rule 34 from ED's ''[[Pokémon]]'' article. Sonichu ignores the sexualized content, and boasts that he could easily defeat the Charmeleon. Well, duh, it's handcuffed.
*24th floor: Hate art of Snapesnogger's hermaphrodite naga character drawn by Zeriara.
*33rd floor: Rule 34 Art from ED's ''[[Transformers]]'' page.
*34th floor: [[Sonic]]/[[Amy Rose]] Rule 34. Sonichu cheers on his "pal" as they watch him have sex in a position very similar to the "missionary cowgirl" used by Sonichu earlier in the issue..
*35th floor: Nude artwork of [[Amy Rose]], Rouge the Bat, and Cream the Rabbit. Sonichu and Rosechu shout "Holy Crap!" in unison.
*36th floor: Strip poker game featuring various female characters from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]''. The image has been adapted into a parody of a ''Magic: The Gathering'' Card.
*51st floor: The entire White House, with John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton, looking on while [[Barack Obama]] paints the walls black. [[George W. Bush]] cheerfully knocks his eventual successor off his ladder. Sonichu and Rosechu offer no discernible reaction. Chris notes that his father [[Bob Chandler]] came up with this "joke." Recall that this story is set in the fall of ''[[2007]]'', so the joke really makes no sense for that year.
*61st floor: Erotic artwork of Dot Warner, from ''Animaniacs''.
*62nd floor: Erotic artwork of Lois Griffin, from ''[[Family Guy]]''.
*63rd floor: Erotic artwork of Marge Simpson, from ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
*64th floor: Rule 34 of Misty and a Starmie, from ''[[Pokémon]]''. Sonichu and Rosechu make out during this and the preceding three floors.
*69th floor: Image of "XBOX 360-ko", an anime-style character patterned after design elements of the XBox 360. As the following floor features an Xbox 360 console being destroyed, Chris includes a disclaimer, stating that his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] should not be connected to any lingering resentment of women.
*70th floor: Drawing by Chris of an Xbox 360 console being chopped in half with a meat cleaver. Sonichu and Rosechu applaud the instrument's destruction. The imagery is a clear indication that Chris secretly desires to murder women.
*71st floor: [[PS3]] message congratulating whoever murdered the HEXBox. It states that you may "now play your PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii in peace", as though the existence of a single Xbox somehow interfered with such activity.

Note that it is never addressed whether or not the images such as the Rule 34 depicted here are really just drawings on a computer or poster in the building, or if they have a physical presence. However, the fact that Sonichu cheers on [[Sonic]] as he has sex with [[Amy Rose]] suggests that they are really there.

===Business and Staff===
{{quote|I am a troll with no such beliefs, I know that we are born, then we die. I intend to make the most of my pitiful life by tormenting every person within my grasp until they all die from the shame and the distress of their existance. The page will stay up; this meeting is over!|Jason Kendrick Howell, responding to Sonichu's request to remove the "Chris-chan" page, ''Sonichu'' #8}}

4-cent_garbage does not appear to have any clear marketing objective. While this may seem like an oversight on Chris's part, it may well be a genuine commentary on the pointlessness of 4chan and ED's activities. While most people would consider them to be entertainment sites, with no other purpose than to provide humor or diversion, Chris obviously doesn't find them funny, and so he depicted 4-cent_garbage as a tower of bullies, mass-producing cruelty for its own sake. In the comic, Jason says his only goal in life is to hurt as many people as he can before he dies. While he may have only been speaking for himself, this seems to be the ''raison d'être'' for everyone else who works there.

In ''Sonichu'' #10, Beel explains that "this trolling gig is my hell", suggesting that he has been condemned to work there, possibly because he had once been "main assistant to Adolf Hitler". Unable to die, Beel would simply be damned to serve yet another villain, [[Count Graduon]], once the 4-cent_garbage building was destroyed.

While [[Clyde Cash]] had been previously depicted in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]] as an agent of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he also appears in ''Sonichu'' #10 supporting 4-cent_garbage. Though confusing in some respects, especially concerning the canonicity of the Sonichu Specials, this dual role may not be a complete contradiction, as the exact relationship between 4-cent_garbage and [[PVCC]] is never explained.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]]
*[[Beel]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Revive Zordon]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]]
*[[Chris and death]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.4chan.org/ 4chan] - A *chan imageboard and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's name.
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.org/ Encyclopedia Dramatica] - An internet satire wiki and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's role in the comics (now redirects to its successor site, Oh Internet!).
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/ archive] of the old ED site.
*[http://789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/] - Another *chan imageboard which sometimes adopts the name 4-cent_garbage in reference to the comics.

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

Chris in the media

2011-09-27T00:20:16Z

InvalidLogin: /* Nintendo Power Magazine */

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to earn his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional Media==
===Richmond Times-Dispatch===

{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to the more well-known "Christian". This is Chris's first known appearance in the media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in 1994 chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In 1999, Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 at the time, and he was playing Pokémon cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===Nintendo Power Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===Shoujo Beat===

{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an anime-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonely virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio ([http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 podcast]) in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].

=== KROQ The Kevin and Bean Show===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts Kevin and Bean. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

=== Web Soup ===

{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's I Got A Fish video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]]. Days later, Chris realizes that ''Web Soup'' is a show devoted to making fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|stupid people]] on the internet like himself.

=== Slylock Fox ===
[[image:Sonichuuuuuuu.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]
On 25 September 2011, Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids, a comic strip strip published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." It is unknown if Chris submitted it himself or if this is the work of [[trolls]]. The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the [http://joshreads.com/?p=10951&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+joshreads+%28The+Comics+Curmudgeon%29&utm_content=Google+International#comment-1014594 Comics Curmudgeon blog] that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 years old (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

==Internet Media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on the internet has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about the Internet made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Nicolas Cage Wants Cake===
An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA Nicolas Cage Wants Cake]", which is a mash up of a scene from the film [[Family Guy|The Family Man]]. This may be the only Youtube video he is featured in that wasn't uploaded by Chris or a troll. It was animated by Harry Partridge.

===Skyrim===
In the animated short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY Skyrim]" (also by Harry Partridge), a Virgina license plate reading "SONICHU" can be seen in the background during the first scene.

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Top 15 Things I Will Never Review] about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara}}

Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' because he didn't want to engage in potential drama. At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of =3, I will end you, Ray made fun of Chris's habit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (refereeing to him as 'your average star-trek nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. This is one of the few videos about Chris not made by a troll.

===Webcam Ward===
The [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php last episode] of Something Awful's “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].

===SpliceToday.com===
An [http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler article] posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his kitchen microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] [http://twitpic.com/s7pfi posted on twitter] an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (and now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-30T20:45:55Z

InvalidLogin:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind Asperchu then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], eating pizza, and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alec fat]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day -- for REVEALING -- 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul [[Obesity|"Fat Man"]] Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, Xbox, folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of sonichu and--and asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns...and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah! Awh-Shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time! ''[incomprehensible]'' Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] And a can of ''tea!'' Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Obesity#Denial|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than Surfshack Tito! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-30T20:45:40Z

InvalidLogin:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind Asperchu then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], eating pizza, and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alex fat]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day -- for REVEALING -- 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul [[Obesity|"Fat Man"]] Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, [[video games]], retirement, Xbox, folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of sonichu and--and asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns...and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah! Awh-Shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time! ''[incomprehensible]'' Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed [[Chris_and_health#Nutrition|microwaveable pepperoni pizza!]] And a can of ''tea!'' Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Obesity#Denial|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than Surfshack Tito! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-30T20:43:45Z

InvalidLogin:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Chris-chan reveals the real face behind [[Asperchu]] then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking Alec by [[Random Access Humor|beatboxing]], eating pizza, and [[Chris and Hypocrisy|calling Alex fat]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day -- for REVEALING -- 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from ''[applies pedo-glasses]'' Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! ''[Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]''

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul "Fat Man" Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas- San Antonio, Texas. Age: 36. [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|Unemployed and on welfare!]] His interest include: hot tubbing, video games, retirement, Xbox, folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) ''eating onliiiiine!''

He's responsible for Asperchu, asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of sonichu and--and asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns...and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! ([[Homos|Gay]] voice) ''A whole block of cheeeeeeese!''

''[Chris mimes using turntables for a couple of seconds while beatboxing]'' Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah! Awh-Shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time! ''[incomprehensible]'' Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed microwaveable pepperoni pizza! And a can of ''tea!'' Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera]'' Cheesy goodness, within the crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible beatboxing segment]''

[[Chris and Reality|One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than Surfshack Tito! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User:InvalidLogin

2011-08-30T05:01:47Z

InvalidLogin:

I'm just here to help edit/maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz.

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{HFA}}{{Agnostic}}{{Americunt}}{{GrammarNazi}}{{Observer}}{{Homo}}{{Jew}}{{Troper}}{{Weeaboo}}}}

User:InvalidLogin

2011-08-30T04:20:54Z

InvalidLogin:

I'm just here to help maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz.

{{Observer}}
{{Agnostic}}
{{Homo}}

User:InvalidLogin

2011-08-30T04:20:36Z

InvalidLogin:

I'm just here to maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz.

{{Observer}}
{{Agnostic}}
{{Homo}}

User:InvalidLogin

2011-08-30T04:20:07Z

InvalidLogin: Created page with "I'm just here to maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz. {{Observer}} {{Atheist}} {{Homo}}"

I'm just here to maintain the wiki and partake in many lulz.

{{Observer}}
{{Atheist}}
{{Homo}}

Talk:Response to ADF

2011-08-30T04:12:03Z

InvalidLogin: ed" */

I have to get ready for work but this needs to be more wikified, plus the intro paragraph seems to be kinda clunky, any chance it could be split up into a few separate paragraphs?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 29 August 2011 (PDT)

== "That bit in the bible where lesbians are specifically condemned" ==

Actually, Leviticus only condemns male homosexuality. Lesbians are... conspicuously never mentioned, to my knowledge. Maybe so the Old Testament wouldn't give women ideas. :p - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 20:48, 29 August 2011 (PDT)

* Leviticus, yes, but that's not the only part where homosexuality is condemned in the bible. Read [http://kingjbible.com/romans/1.htm Romans 1:26-27] "''For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.''" Vague, yes, it could be talking about anal sex or fisting for all we know but it's generally interpreted as the only text where lesbians are specifically condemned. - [[User:InvalidLogin|InvalidLogin]] 21:12, 29 August 2011 (PDT)

Response to ADF

2011-08-30T04:04:10Z

InvalidLogin:

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris responds to [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuviya]] after he uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris called him out.

Chris begins by stammering through yet another half-hearted explanation on why he doesn't like the gays. Basically, gays really gross Chris out but lesbians are okay because he gets along with girls (read: they give him a boner). You'd think that after this pronouncement, he would have more acceptance of people who are grossed out by an obese, stinking [[tomgirl]]...

Chris says he's okay with homosexuals getting married: ''"marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender."'' He thinks smoking is stupid. He claims to have empathy; Ahuviya does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too.

Chris also goes on a rant on why he can't leave the state or get a job. He blames everyone from his parents, being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling, to the trolls for ensuring that Chris will never pass a background check due to the number of web pages created on him. Chris also claims that he doesn't stay in his house all the time, and that he gets out. Chris quotes the song "[[wikipedia:Free Bird|Free Bird]]" and incorrectly pronounces the band [[wikipedia:Lynyrd Skynyrd|Lynyrd Skynyrd]] as "Lay-Nerd Sky Nerd." It's worth noting that the only song Chris seems to know by Skynyrd just so happens to be from [[Guitar Hero]].

Chris states that he's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of "femdom" and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being okay with homosexuals.

This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".

{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to...Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be [[Chris and English|heteroseshual]]. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[disgusted look; blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. [[Tobacky|Smokers]], definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up [[facebook]]s and look on [[Youtube]] and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only acquainted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care whether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Response to ADF

2011-08-30T03:37:08Z

InvalidLogin:

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris replied to [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuviya]] after he uploaded two<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 Why Philadelphia is so much Greater than CWCville]</ref> videos<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U Advice for Chris-chan from Ahuviya Harel]</ref> in response to Chris's calling out of him.

Chris begins by stammering through yet another half-hearted explanation on why he doesn't like the gays. Basically, gays really gross Chris out but lesbians are okay because he gets along with girls (read: give him a boner). This fact alone seems to give Chris all he really needs to condemn gays as gross and against the will of god but conveniently ignore that bit in the bible where lesbians are specifically condemned.

Chris says he's okay with homosexuals getting married: ''"marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender."'' He thinks smoking is stupid. He claims to have empathy; Ahuviya does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too.

Chris also goes on a rant on why he can't leave the state or get a job. He blames everyone from his parents, being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling, to the trolls for ensuring that Chris will never pass a background check due to the number of web pages created on him. Chris also claims that he doesn't stay in his house all the time, and that he gets out. Chris quotes ''[[wikipedia:Free Bird|Free Bird]]'' and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lay-Nerd Sky Nerd." It's worth noting that the only song Chris seems to know by Skynyrd just so happens to be from [[Guitar Hero]].

Chris states that he's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuviya good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of "femdom" and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being okay with homosexuals.

This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".

{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to...Ahuviya, who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be [[Chris and English|heteroseshual]]. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[disgusted look; blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuviya, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only acquainted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care whether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]